#trying to weed them out was like picking children

[01zfan]

beanbag | l. sh & l. at

bestfriend!sohee + anton x reader | 6.1k words

after hearing yall wanted this i took a crack at my second threesome fic everrrrr hope you like :3

contains: smoking, high sex, threesomes

sohee and anton were never popular. they were quiet children and decided from a very young age that they would never try to become cool. they ended up finding humor in the times they were picked last for sports, bonding over they were ostracized by their peers. 

they met you the same way. a little girl playing by herself on the playground, her toys being her only friends. making friends was hard for anton and sohee, but it came naturally when they talked to you. before they knew it you guys were a trio, okay with being unpopular as long as you guys had eachother.

things didn’t start changing until junior high. you still weren’t sure how to describe it. all you knew was that you started the summer as an outcast but came back to school as someone everyone wanted to know. you made it into the good graces of the popular kids and teachers, becoming a class favorite. it wasn’t long until you were invited to outings every weekend, spending time with people outside of your small circle. 

anton and sohee changed too. anton hit a growth spurt that had him towering above his peers and sohee ended up joining clubs and focusing on academics. the three of you were no longer inseparable like you were as kids, but you remained by eachothers side. more times than not you found yourself hanging out with them over your new friends.

your popularity didn’t stop, even when you graduated. it was the summer now, everyone was trying to have as much fun as they could before leaving town to go to college. you had spent a majority of the summer at shitty pool parties and driving around aimlessly, trying to find out where the next shitty pool party would be. when you got a text from anton in your three-person groupchat that he wanted to hang out as a trio again you were over the moon. you were over at anton’s house in less than an hour, walking through his empty house down to the basement to your usual hangout.

sohee and anton were already there when you arrived. they were talking about something unimportant, the topic dropped the moment they heard you coming down the stairs. they got up and pulled you into a group hug, talking about how it’s been too long. you pulled away from them and took it in. already they had changed, looking like adults getting ready to go to college.

“congratulations on graduating,” you realized you haven’t seen them since the ceremony. “we actually did it.” 

anton and sohee both cheered, happy to have the years of school behind them. none of you knew what college would be like, and none of you knew what the next chapters of your lives would look like. all you three knew was that you would be experiencing it alone. for the first times in your lives you three wouldn’t be going to school together. it was daunting, and you truthfully wished it didn’t have to be that way. but now was the time to grow up and leave your childhood behind you. 

sohee and anton knew it too, that’s why they didn’t try to bring up the future too much. the past might've been to painful too. that's why they reached into their bags to pull out stashes of weed, talking about how they had to smoke it down before going off to college.

when the two revealed the entertainment for the night would be pre-rolled joints you were pleasantly surprised. you didn’t take anton or sohee as the type to partake in drugs, but the smile on their faces told you different. sohee brought paraphernalia of his own, hidden in the depths of his backpack. he expertly rolled another joint as anton lit his. 

when anton lit up in his basement you couldn’t control your expression. you were wide eyed and in shock, thinking about the kind of reaction anton’s parents would have if they came downstairs and smelled the weed. in a basement nonetheless, the smell would be trapped down there for days. even sohee looked surprised, thinking they would go out to the secluded garden to smoke. 

anton took in both of your faces before taking a quick hit. he stood up and you and sohee followed behind him, making your way towards the small window in the basement. sohee opened the egress window for anton and he blew out the smoke before handing the joint to sohee.

“i have all week to get the smell out of here, so don’t stress it.” anton said with a smile on his face.

that was all you and sohee needed. it wasn’t long before smoke clouds were loosely being pointed out the window, subsequently filling the basement with a haze. 

lighting two joints at once was an interesting choice, the three of you constantly passing two of them back and forth. the rotation was confusing, making all three of you giggle from the novelty of it all. there would be moments where someone would have both of the joints, taking a drag from both at the same time. you three stopped trying to blow the smoke out the window. your legs had gotten tired from standing, all three of you falling into the basement furniture and nodding to the music.

when the joints were done, your friends eyes had started to get low and bleary but you felt like you could keep going. the three of you all looked to eachother, trying to silently gauge how high everyone else was. sohee reached for his backpack. when sohee pulled out his bong it was like you guys were kids again. memories of coming over to anton’s house to play with a new toy filled your mind. the way you guys settled into the furniture was the same, all of you assuming your old positions. anton was nestled into the beanbag, sohee chose the beat up chair and you settled on the couch. not much had changed—the only difference was that you guys were gawking over sohee’s new glass bong instead of the nerdy things from your childhood. 

“how much?” anton asked quietly.

he was too afraid to hold it, only staring at it from afar. sohee had moved from his chair to sit close to anton, letting him have a better look. you moved down the couch, getting closer to the show and tell.

“i did mark’s work for the whole semester to get this.” sohee said.

he was proud of it, placing the bong in the light to show it refracting through the glass. the dark blue and clean blown glass splayed on the carpet in front of you guys. all of you were mesmerized, anton even taking a picture of the carpet for safe keeping. you three were like kids again, asking questions and holding it up to the light to see through it.

“should we use it?” sohee asked, eyebrows high looking at you and anton.

you and anton looked at eachother, and then you and sohee looked at anton. the looks were mischievous, waiting for someone to finally fold and say lets do it. you were the one that nodded your head first, reaching for anton’s weed so he’d get the hint as the designated bowl packer to get to work. anton was quick even though he was gentle with the bong, scared that he would break it. while anton did that sohee went upstairs, bringing down water and snacks for later.

when sohee returned the three of you settled into your huddle, getting ready to pass the bong around. sohee lit it for you first, the two of them watching with hooded eyes as you took it all in. you pulled out the bowl and passed it to sohee quickly, letting him breathe in the remainder of the smoke that was still in the neck of the bong. you lit it for anton after nearly coughing a lung out. 

by the time the weed in the bowl became ash, you were more than high. everything was moving slowly, and the lulling beat of the music made you feel like you were moving. anton and sohee were effected the same, setting the bong aside once they were done. 

anton was settled into the beanbag while you laid on your side on the carpet, nodding your head to the music. the three of you were silent, letting the weed take over to let your bodies fully relax. anton stretched his leg. out, playfully hitting your shoulder with his foot. you tilted your head to look at him, eyes low with a smile on his face.

“thanks for coming over.” anton said.

you nodded your head, playfully slapping his foot away.

“i wouldn’t miss this. besides i never see you guys anymore.” you say, sighing dramatically.

when you hear sohee scoff you look to him laying on the couch. you hit his knee, trying to get him to talk.

“got something you wanna say?” you ask.

sohee rubs his knee, before sinking more into the couch.

“you’re the one that’s too busy now to hang out with us.” sohee says.

you look to anton and he nods in agreement. he picks at his nails for a second before looking to you again.

“always hanging out with the popular kids.” anton says.

“even those annoying jocks” sohee agrees.

that’s when you get up and look at your two friends in surprise. they always seemed stuck to eachother like glue, where one went to other followed. hearing that they don’t hang out as much as they used to confused you. sohee leaned his head against the back of the couch and laughed.

“only because i’m trying to have fun before i go off to college.” you look back to the ceiling.

“what type of fun?” sohee asks.

you hit his knee again, and you can hear anton behind you hold back a laugh.

”wouldn’t you like to know, you little pervert.” you joke.

“we heard about you and that guy on the basketball team.” sohee tells you. 

“and what did you hear?” you ask.

when sohee is goes silent you look to anton. he tries so hard not to say anything, but when you move towards anton he caves immediately.

”we heard that you guys ya know,” anton looks to sohee and then to you. “did it.” anton says finally.

you just shake your head, trying not to show how embarrassed you are. you were so close to sealing the deal with eunseok, someone you found yourself pining after for the better half of the school year. but nothing came from it, putting you in the position of being someone with the bare minimum of experiences on your way to college.

“we didn’t do anything.” your hand starts mindlessly picking at the fabric of the couch. “cool that rumor spread though.” you say.

sohee comes down from the couch, a hand going to your shoulder to try and make you feel better. a smile is on his face as he shakes you gently, getting you to face him.

“it’s okay dude.” sohee points towards anton on the beanbag. “anton is still a virgin.” sohee says.

you laugh when you hear anton move from the beanbag to try and hit sohee. you end up leaning back to give anton the space but he misses sohee, only hitting a part of his shoulder.

while the two still argue, you go back to pickign at the carpet. you think about all the things you haven’t gotten to experience yet before leaving, some of the fun you’ve been missing out on. you look at sohee and anton, two of your bestest friends and your two confidants. you can stop yourself from clearing your throat and looking at the two of them.

“are you actually, anton?” you ask quietly.

anton and sohee pull away from their tussle to look at you.

“am i what?” anton asks.

“a virgin?” you answer.

instantly, you can see the blush on anton’s face. it starts on his neck and goes to his face in splotches, ending at his ears. you can even see sohee get a little red, the tips of his ears becoming rosy.

“not totally. there was that time after prom.” anton says.

he sounds far away, his hand scratching the back of his neck shyly. he ends his sentence with an awkard laugh when you nod your head sympathetically.

“i haven’t done that much either.” you say.

“me neither.” sohee says.

even though sohee and anton’s eyes go wide, it’s true. none of you had done anything besides heavy petting and making out with someone until your jaw started locking. none of you were nearly as well versed as your peers. you thought about going to college, how everyone there would be lightyears ahead of you in terms of intimacy. you look to your two bewildered friends. maybe if one of you guys made a move it that could change.

you shift from your spot on the carpet. anton and sohee instantly perk up, watching your every move. they see how you stand on your knees and clear your throat, suddenly so dry from nervousness and the weed. you put a slow hand on sohee’s knee, he follows your hand all the way up to your face. you look to sohee and then to anton. sohee looks to anton and then you. 

“do you think we can?” you ask outloud.

sohee nods while anton remains still on the beanbag. sohee doesn’t waste anytime looking at his friend before going behind you. sohee out of your line of sight makes all your attention go to anton. his face only gets redder as you slowly make your way over to him, guiding by sohee behind you.

you experimentally crawled over to anton on the beanbag, cautiously reaching out your hand. you let it rest on his thigh lightly, gliding your hand repeatedly over the small space. anton was still confused, his previously hooded eyes were stretched wide as he tried to figure out what was happening. sohee had gone behind you at some point, using gentle fingers to stretch the collar of your shirt to touch your neck and shoulder. 

sohee’s touches only egged you on, until your hands had gotten more desperate. you moved your other hand to anton’s thigh to move your hand lightly. when he looked at you and squirmed underneath your touch, you halted your movements.

“is this okay, anton?” sohee asked from behind you.

sohee was only half paying attention, asking the question between kisses on your neck and shoulder. but his question pulled you from your trance. you took your hands away, afraid that you had gone to far. but anton placed his hands over yours before nodding quickly. he brought them further up until they rested over his front pockets. the sudden movement brought you forward, causing sohee to press his body closer to yours.

you were face to face with anton now, breath fanning his face. you looked down at your hands only for a second—they were so close to touching his dick. the music that played on the basement speakers was long forgotten. the blood rushing through your ears and the sound of sohee’s lips against your skin was the only music you needed.

“if you won’t, switch places with me.” sohee said to anton.

that was all anton needed before bringing you closer to him. your noses touched first, pressing together until he timidly kissed you.

it was slow and the pacing was uneven, suddenly both of you were painfully aware that anton didn’t know what he was doing and you were out of practice. 

you brought a hand to anton’s chin to hold him in place while you silently guide him through kissing. you took your time, letting each kiss linger on his lips as you progressively deepened it. anton was a fast learner but shy; his grip of your triceps told you he wanted to take charge but was too nervous to do it. your mind quickly ran through the small list of girls that anton had talked about over the years. you don’t think any of his crushes led to anything more than hopeless pining. you know it’s true when anton starts whimpering into your mouth, so overwhelmed and sensitive just from you slowly kissing him. when he sticks his tongue in your mouth you suck on it, and his grip on your arm almost becomes bruising. sohee stops kissing your neck but you can feel his hand go down your back.

you don’t know if it’s the weed that makes you sloppy, but when you pull away from anton the lower part of his face is glossy from spit. you wipe your own face with the back of your hand when he reaches out a tongue to swipe over his already wet lips.

“sorry.” you say sheepishly.

”don’t apologize.” anton says.

anton is breathless, and when you look down you feel your own words leave you. he is straining in his jean shorts, the outline of his hard didck visible through the denim. sohee sees it too, laughing before kissing your neck again.

“he likes it.” sohee says from behind you.

you give anton another kiss on the lips and pull away fast. you revel in his eyes that are still closed when you pull away and how he brings his lips forward in efforts to follow you. 

anton’s eyes are still closed when you turn your body to face sohee. his lips are already wet, his hair pushed away from his face as he looks at you. sohee is bolder than anton, guiding your body onto the beanbag to sit in between anton’s legs. sohee doesn’t hesitate until your back is pressed against anton’s chest. you have to pull him in the same way you did anton, but your gentle hand starts shaking from the anticipation building all over you. 

seeing you nervous makes the playing field even. you keep a hand on sohee’s shoulder as he makes out with you, and you have a hand on anton’s thigh as he breathes heavily behind you. both of their hands are all over your body, sneaking underneath your shirt and grasping your chest. you feel their hands on your thighs, pushing and pulling you like tug-of-war. you can feel anton’s arm snake around your waist to keep you close.

sohee’s lips distract you and the weed makes you all three move in a daze. the sound of kissing and moving on the beanbag fills the air as your three clumsily make-out. there’s a moment where sohee tilts his head to the same side where anton kisses your neck. their forehead touch, and the two of them look at eachother simultaneously. while sohee is distracted, anton brings his hand that cups your chest over your shirt to tilt your head towards him. 

anton brings you in for another kiss, instantly putting his tongue in your mouth. sohee takes it in stride, going to suck on the parts anton couldn’t reach. sohee’s hands started knead your chest while anton starts feeling your sides. his hand that was holding your chin started covering the expanse of your neck. something inside of you almost wants him to squeeze, but there will be chances for that in the future. feeling anton’s large hand gently on your neck is more than enough.

both of their hands are rushed and both were testing out various kinds of pressure. you were experimenting yourself, purposefully moving your hips back to press your ass against anton’s dick while guiding sohee’s hands underneath your shirt. 

sohee took the extra step to pull your shirt over your head, forcing you to pull apart from anton. anton’s eyes lingered on your lips for a second before flickering down to stare at your bra. parts of your chest peaked over the top and spilled from the bottom from the movement. both sohee and anton’s eyes were only staring, not daring to reach a hand out to grasp you. you felt yourself melting underneath their gaze, letting your head fall back until it rested on anton’s shoulder.

“both of you touch me.” you spread your legs on the beanbag to allow sohee to come closer. “please.” you begged.

for the first time ever, anton made the first move. his hand that was pawing at your sides confidently grabbed a handful of your chest, squeezing your skin roughly. sohee followed suit, mirroring what his bestfriend was doing on the other side. you closed your eyes and leaned even further into anton’s broad chest, already overwhelmed by the feeling. you could feel anton’s strong and broad chest against your back and his twitching dick against your ass.

“you’re perfect.” anton whispered underneath his breath. 

you moaned to let anton know you heard him, and you moan again when sohee pulls your bra down by the straps to free your chest. he tweaks your nipple until you grasp his arm from the pain. anton presses soft kisses to your cheek while sohee pulls your bra down your body slowly. your breasts are free, and sohee hesitates only for a moment before latching his mouth to your nipple.

your back arches instantly into sohee’s mouth, and sohee places a hand on your back to support you. now sohee and anton are actively pulling your body in two different directions, making you bring your head up from anton’s shoulder.

“are you guys fighting over me right now?” you ask.

the weed makes all three of you giggle. the situation is insane, completely unlike all of your personalities to do this. your question serves as a buffer, forcing the three of you to really comprehend what is happening. your shirt is off and your bra is pulled down to your stomach, sohee’s lips are kissed swollen and anton is painfully hard in his jeans. 

you settle into the beanbag, placing hands on anton’s thighs as you steady yourself. you look at sohee, and then crane your head to look at anton. the two never took their hands off of you, touching you affectionately while you get comfortable.

“what do you want us to do?” anton asked.

sohee and anton’s hands found their way to your legs. they both press into your thigh and calves. when sohee tugs at the end of your pants you lift your hips.

“take my pants off.” you say.

sohee continues to pull at the end of your pants while anton makes work of the button on the top of your jeans. he’s quick, too quick that it causes him to fumble. you look back again to see anton staring at you, eyes sleepy and clown out. you try to mirror his look while your hands go over his wrists, forcing him to slow down. 

when your pants are off and you are left in just your panties, the two go back to feeling every part of your body. now you have the exposed skin of your thighs, soft and supple underneath their sluggish hands. the weed from the bond must’ve hit, making all of you more relaxed. you let out a shaky breath before going back to anton’s lips. anton is preoccupied, too busy pressing his fingers into your clothed heat. anton and sohee take turns, switching between smacking your waistband against your skin and spreading your legs further. when you feel your panties getting pushed to the side, you let out a hiss. you pull away from anton and look down at sohee between your legs.

“can i finger you?” sohee asks.

the straightforwardness has you feeling bashful. you nod your head, not being able to use words before anton brings you back to his lips.

anton sticks his otngue into your mouth the same time sohee puts a finger inside of you. you can only take what anton gives you, sloppy kisses that leave your face wet. all of your attention is put towards sohee’s pretty fingers that disappear into your cunt. the wet sounds of kissing and fingering fills the space of anton’s stuffy basement. you’re whining into anton’s mouth when sohee puts another finger in. anton pulls away from your lips, looking down at what sohee is doing to you.

“can i try?” anton asks.

he’s still sheepish, his hand doesn’t slink down your body until you nod your head. sohee kisses your stomach as he settles further down your body, not taking out his fingers. instead sohee only guides anton’s finger in with his when he pulls his digits out. you can’t stop yourself from clamping around the three fingers, all of you gasping at the feeling.

“so tight.” anton whispers.

“look.” sohee says.

neither of you are sure who he is talking to, but you both look down anyway. sohee puts his hand on anton’s wrist, stopping him from pumping his finger back in. the three of you look down at your cunt, closing in on nothing as it pulses like a heartbeat. anton’s dick twitches against your ass again as the three of you continue to watch. you get impatient, pinching their fingers together before wiggling your hips. the two get the hint, pumping their fingers back into your heat again. when they are still slow, you start guiding their fingers in and out of you at a faster pace.

“faster.” you whimper. 

the beanbag caused you to slip further down anton’s body. your head is just above his heart now, hearing it thud in his chest as he picks up the pace. when you dig your fingers into sohee’s bicep he hisses in pain, and you dig your other hand into anton’s thigh. neither of them stop, driven by the way your body shudders. they both have tunnelvision on the way you react to them, that they are caught by surprised when you wrap your legs around sohee. your legs bring him in close, and your arm reaches up to grab onto anton’s shoulder for stability. you are a moaning mess, pulling down on anton with so much force he hunches over your forehead. anton and sohee are too speechless to talk, only grunting and whimpering as they focus on fucking their fingers into you at the same pace. the wet sound and you whining overtakes the song that changed on the speakers.

“i’m cumming.” you whine.

sohee and anton only go faster. sohee looks up at your breasts, how your hardened nipples bounce from the momentum. even though you bite your lip the sound comes through. you open your eyes briefly when you feel anton’s hair brush your face. your heads are pressed side by side and anton’s hand pressing into your stomach keeps you in place. you can hear anton’s quiet moans, how he’s getting more and more pent up seeing, hearing, and feeling your release. you hear sohee same something and anton places a gentle kiss to your cheek, pulling his finger out of your heat to let sohee fuck you through your orgasm. 

sohee takes charge, using his other hand to press down on your clit. it’s a different sensation, almost painful from the stimulation you’re already receiving. anton uses his free hand to grab your breasts, being the roughest you’ve ever seen him.

when you are spent, you legs wrapped around sohee loosens and your hand falls from anton’s shoulder. you are a huffing mess, gasping for air when sohee pulls his fingers out of you. the weed and post orgasm pulls at your eyelids, but you keep them open to look at sohee in front of you. he’s worried, kissing your cheeks and massaging your twitching legs. your body is almost out of energy, but when you see sohee’s dick jump in his shorts you open your mouth.

“are there condoms?” you ask.

you have to swallow spit and lick your mouth to try and wet it. you only think for a second how ridiculous you three must look. mussed hair and flushed faces, all panting looking to one another as you try to figure out who was a condom. you can practically see the lightbulb go off over sohee’s head when he remembers he is always prepared.

“in my backpack.” sohee points to his back behind anton and anton reaches for it instantly. “i think.” sohee says.

while anton rummages through all the things in sohee’s bag sohee stands up, pulling his layered long-sleeve and short-sleeve shirt over his head in one go. you look up to watch him, the setting sun casts perfectly on his face. the ray of sun that comes through the tiny window lights up the space. you can see the dander floating around in the room, moving harshly in the wind as sohee kicks off his pants and socks. sohee’s gaze pierces through the sun, staring at you as he’s finished getting undressed. sohee is left in his underwear when he comes back down to his knees in front of you. anton dumps out the contents of sohee’s bag on the floor in a haste, moving things around not being able to find a condom.

sohee’s bag is thrown somewhere, and anton reluctantly lets go of you so he can get undressed himself. he stands up from the beanbag and you move forward, standing on your knees the same way sohee does. his hand comes to your hips and yours goes to his face, swiping a finger on his moles like they might disappear. he pulls you in for a kiss, and you can hear anton’s clothes hitting the ground behind you. you can hear the beanbag move too as anton comes behind you. he presses lips to your clammy shoulders and neck in the same places sohee kissed. anton’s hands go to your thighs, spreading them out slightly so he can come closer to you. one of sohee’s hands goes to your chin, tilting your head upwards so he can get a better angle. you can feel yourself becoming overwhelmed again, almost knocking you off your feet when you feel anton’s dick press against your ass. he gasps behind you, so sensitive from your bare skin touching his sensitive bare dick.

sohee pulls away from your lips, looking at anton behind you with the same look.

“you’re too impatient.” sohee says.

any attempt at a scolding goes right over anton’s head. you can feel anton smile against the back of your head when he ruts against your ass.

“if you won’t, i will.” anton remarks.

both you and sohee laugh at anton using sohee’s words against him.

“look at you being snippy.” you try to sound light and playful but your voice comes out sickly sweet.

“almost thought you were older than me for a second.” sohee says.

anton only hums against your head, moving his hips languidly against the swell of your ass. your hand goes behind your head to fist anton’s hair, sighing out in between the space of you and sohee. sohee looks to all of his things spread out on the floor, looking slightly annoyed. you go to kiss sohee’s neck while he scans the pile, not seeing what he needs. 

“i don’t have any condoms.” sohee says regretfully.

you hum against sohee’s neck, placing an open mouthed kiss before pulling away. anton still rubs against your ass, his fingers digging roughly into your hip bones.

“we can still have fun.” you say.

youlet your hand go underneath the waistband of sohee’s boxers. you touch his tip first, feeling the precum that wets the thin fabric of his underwear. you rub it around, teasing sohee enough until he pulls his boxers down to his knees. you grab sohee’s shaft and squeeze the same way he squeezed your chest, looking down at him slightly as he closes his eyes in bliss. sohee is more pliant now, even bringing a hand to your shoulder to find stability. when you start pumping his length sohee puts a hand over antons then above it when he realizes the spot is taken. you have to pair of hands with a death grip on you, and you are being pulled backwards towards anton as he becomes more wound up. you take your time with sohee, trying to coax out the whimpers he was hiding from you earlier.

“you’re gonna miss me, right guys?” you ask. 

you look at sohee while you ask the question, but both of the boys whine affirmatives.

“so much.” anton whimpers.

“so so so much.” sohee agrees.

you smile before placing a quick kiss to sohee’s lips. you look down at hard dick in your hand, glistening in the setting sun. it’s close enough to the bong that your hand is painted by the sun coming through the stained glass. the sight is so pretty, almost as pretty as your two friends you’re sandwiched between. 

“i’ll miss you guys too.” you whine.

your hand around sohee picks up the pace, and he walks forward on his knees until his tip presses against your stomach. he’s needy, fucking your hand with such vigor his tip pokes your bellybutton. this sohee is so different from the one that was teasing anton earlier. any attempt the three of you guys have tried to become the dominant one fails terribly. it’s reminiscent of the relationship you guys have had over the years, how none of you guys have a “leader”. that’s what set you apart from every other friend group, and that’s what is driving the three of you guys over the edge together. you are helping the other feel good, driven solely by weed and the tightening coil in the pits of your stomachs. 

sohee grabs anton’s hand on your waist and pulls it down to your heat. you’re still sensitive everywhere, shaking above their hands when they start gliding their fingers up and down your folds. sohee focuses on your clit and spreading your folds open while anton fingers your from behind. he’s fast and hits deep, mimicking the thrusts he takes against your ass. 

“i’m gonna cum.” anton whispers.

his voice is still gentle and sweet, almost pitiful as he confesses he’s going to finish first. his words are interrupted with gasps and whimpers when he finds a new way to stimulate himself against your body.

“fuck. me too.” sohee follows after him.

their fingers inside of you are hurried, trying to get you to join them as fast as possible. it’s pitiful, the three of you so close together as you all try to desperately make the others feel good. you are all lost in the feeling, only coming back to reality when sohee bends forward to press his teeth into your shoulder.

“oh my god.” you moan.

when you moan loudly, it gives sohee and anton the indication to do the same. anton no longer moans quietly into your shoulder or beside your ear. he means past your shoulder into sohee’s space while he uses his free hand to press his dick against your ass cheek. he’s fucking his with such force is pushes you forward, forcing your free hand to hold onto sohee for stability. sohee continues to fuck your hand and kiss the bite mark he left, moaning into your ear repeating how close he is. his fingers on your clit lose their steady pace, now just trying to overstimulate you.

the three of you are moaning in unison when you finally begin to feel release. you can feel anton slow his thrusts as hot cum spurts onto your side and dribbles onto your ass and thighs. you can feel him slow down behind you, pressing the top of his sweaty head to your back as he looks down at what he’s done. he is still moaning from the aftershocks, almost overstimulated himself when he uses his dick to move the cum around on your ass. 

sohee moves a hand from your shoulder to wrap around your hand. he makes you squeeze harder and move your hand faster. he is silent, letting the tension build over him for a second until he can’t bear it anymore. sohee pants your stomach as you both look down and moan. you follow after your two bestfriends solely from the sight and hearing them finish on either side of you. it’s overstimulating, causing your thighs to shake as you lean to sohee for support. anton’s hands hold onto you to help you steady as you feel yourself coming undone again. your eyes are screwed shut, and you curse while saying their names.

you’re still shaking when sohee and anton guide you down to the rug underneath your knees. you three are all trying to regain composure, breathing through your noses. 

all three of you are side by side on your backs staring at the ceiling of the basement. you focus on the music, letting the heavy bass that shakes the floor bring you back down to earth. you sneak quick glances at your two friends on either side of you. their chests still heave as they stare at the ceiling too, blissed out looks on their faces. you’re sure you look the same, despite your shaking legs and sudden shudders. anton’s eyes are closed and his hands clench at his sides. sohee smiles and opens his eyes first, hands resting on his stomach.

“we should do this next summer too.” sohee laughs.

[jrreigns]

Mama’s Garden

It’s your birthday and your daughter wants to celebrate. Her father can do nothing but oblige.

A/N: My submission for Levi Month Day 21; Post-War: Children. ~1.3k words of pure angst.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

“Papa, do you think mama would like this?”

A single pebble. A shiny one at that. Levi gave it an expressionless glance and gave a firm nod.

“Mama would like anything you give her, Eden.”

Hardened eyes met soft bright ones, ones that broke out in innocent glee, ones that made Levi Ackerman’s heart swell. There was only one other person who had this effect on him.

You.

The little girl chucked the pebble into a worn pouch, along with other things she wanted to give you. It was your birthday today and Levi had been up early—partly by his own choice, the other because of the giddy toddler who had been preparing for this day for weeks. It had been hard to put Eden down to bed yesterday and the bags under Levi’s eyes were a testament to that.

The day was sunny and so Levi moved forward with his child’s plans, a picnic for mama. Stowed inside a basket were fruit—the ones you and Eden liked—some sandwiches she helped him make, and leftover stew from yesterday’s meal.

“Mama doesn’t like stew,” Eden huffed, wrinkling her nose.

“Mama doesn’t like it, or you don’t like it?”

Eden gave it a seemingly deep thought.

“Neither of us.”

Dinner time had been a struggle yesterday, too. She turned out to be as picky of an eater as her father.

It was less of a struggle now though, compared to a couple of years ago.

Right. Eden was almost five. How quickly the time has passed.

Time, Levi reflected with a pang, time that he wished he had more of.

“Papa,” a little girl with his features, but your eyes, called to him, “let’s pick flowers for mama.” He nodded before his thoughts could ensnare him again.

“This red one, and this blue one, and this pink one…”

It amazed Levi how much she’s grown. She used to be so small, would fit right into his hands like a dainty little package. Now, she counted to ten and back, knew colors, helped him water your garden. She already knew so many things—Levi sometimes found it hard to keep up.

“Mama, you’re going to like my bucket, I promise,” Eden whispered into one of the bell-shaped flowers, a habit she had ever since Levi had told her that you’d hear her if she spoke into them.

“It’s bouquet, Eden,” he corrected her gently and turning to head back to the house when she stopped him.

“Won’t we water the flowers today?”

Levi paused, a twinge of guilt tightening in his chest. So Eden has noticed; Levi has tried not to let the approaching date affect him, but your garden hasn’t been tended to in a week now. The weeds were beginning to creep in, some flowers were wilted and some of the bush was growing wildly in some places.

“Yeah,” he finally answers, his voice softening, “go get the watering can.”

Eden giggled with delight, small shoes pattering around the corner as Levi watched her disappear momentarily. The minutes felt long; a familiar worry settled in his bones, a worry he couldn’t quite shake when his daughter was out of sight.

Levi let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding when Eden finally reappeared. Watering can in tow, they watered the garden together. Levi’s brows were furrowed in concentration, trying not to overwater like you’ve taught him before.

I’ll tend to this later, Levi silently promised as they left the small garden and headed back into the house. He watched as Eden said her goodbyes to each and every flower, exerting patience where there once was none.

With the small basket in tow and a giggling Eden following closely behind, Levi began the familiar trek to the fields to see you.

“Papa, how come you married mama?”

Your toddler exhibited such curiosity that could drive Levi mad at times, but nonetheless he ensured to give her the information she wanted.

“I loved your mama, so I married her.”

Words like love still felt foreign in the former captain’s mouth. Yet, with time, it was getting just a little easier to speak of it—to speak of you.

“So people marry for love?”

Not always.

Very rarely.

“Of course,” he answered, voice steady.

Soon, the cobblestone paths diverted into dirt walkways. The small patch of flowers that had been growing from the cracks of the stone brick now flowed wildly in this section of the road.

Past the willow tree and into the flower fields, alone and by a motionless lake, you were there.

This is where Levi let love in—where he let you in. This is where Levi proposed.

This is where you rested.

“Mama, happy birthday!” Eden exclaimed, her voice ringing out in the quiet air. She took a seat next to the familiar gravestone, pouch already open as she emptied out its contents on the patch of grass she sat on.

Levi watched her for a moment, the weight of the day finally pressing heavily on his heart. Finally, he set the basket down, hand brushing light over the cool stone.

“Here’s this pebble I found today. You can have it, I already have one like it in my room…”

Levi could feel his throat closing up as Eden continued speaking, explaining every single gift she’s brought and what it meant. The pebble, a pink bow she’d begged Levi to buy (a bow he thought was for her), a drawing of a big house and a family of three.

A family of three, Levi wished his family of two could be a family of three. So many nights he spent hoping you were alive somewhere, not just in his mind—those quiet hours when the house felt too empty, and the silence too heavy.

Emotion was getting harder to combat with age, but Levi tried with all his might to refrain from crying. No, today his daughter deserved a moment of happiness, even if you being gone was killing him inside. Even if being here was killing him inside.

But Levi couldn’t stop the tears even if he wanted to.

“Is papa crying?”

He quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.

“No, it’s water.”

“…There was water in papa’s eyes yesterday, too.”

Eden was just like you, always so annoyingly observant. Levi could feel his heart twist at her words.

The flowers swayed peacefully in this part of the field, their soft colors blending with the golden light of the afternoon. The wind blew against Levi’s hair, tickling his face as he watched Eden run and play. A small smile etched itself on his scarred face in this fleeting moment of calm.

When Eden finally tired, she helped her papa clean up and put everything back in the basket. The gifts would stay, except the drawing. Levi had to find a way to secretly take it back home.

“Can we come back soon,” Eden asked, a hint of sadness finally making its way through.

Levi gave a firm nod. “Of course.”

There was a silent pause, a moment of deliberation for the young girl.

“Papa, how come mama can’t be with us?”

She died at childbirth.

“She’s busy,” was Levi’s gruff response, before letting out a heavy sigh. “Mama’s taking care of us…from the sky.” Levi was weary of religion, but if it meant he could spare even a shred of innocence for his daughter for the time being, he’s taking it, no questions asked.

“Mama’s an angel?”

A silent pause.

“Yeah, sure kid.”

She grinned, curiosity quelled for a short minute, before another thought burst through her tiny mind.

“Will you also be an angel one day?”

Levi could feel his heart stop. He hoped so, if it meant he could see you one day. He missed you so much—he missed your smile, your laugh, your playful kisses despite his half-hearted protests. For a brief moment, he allowed himself the comfort of an afterlife with you.

“Yeah, one day,” he finally managed to say, his voice almost breaking.

Eden smiled, her small face lighting up with an innocence that tugged at Levi’s heart.

“Papa, I love you,” Eden says so suddenly, “Mama loves you, too.”

Levi’s breath hitches, a warmth spreading through his chest. His eyes soften, he breaks into a rare, tender smile, one that hadn’t come easily for years.

“I love the both of you, too.”

[mangosrar]

call it what you want pt3

matt sturniolo x fem reader.

WE HAVE CONTACT YALL

the idea of you and matt doing this whole fake dating thing was disgusting to you, but the look of complete and utter rage on jessica levries face when you walked past her with her ex boyfriends hand in the back pocket of your jeans, made you want to marry him on the spot.

the whole morning on the way to school with matt, after he insisted that he picked you up, had been complete chaos. the 10 minute car ride consisted of you screaming at him about how you regret agreeing to this, how he made you want to vomit and how you hated him and matt screaming back how annoying, how selfish you are, and how the sound of your voice made him wanna rip his own throte out.

but any outsider looking in would be jealous of the way matt smiled down at you with loving eyes as you walked down the hall, past jess, past your brother and everyone else watching and how he kissed your temple and whispered “good job” before smiling at you and walking away to head to class, leaving you in a state of utter confusion.

how had he pulled that off so well? you were a complete train wreck, sweating from head to toe, hands shaking all because of this stupid agreement, and matt just breezed right through while looking at you like you were the mother of his children.

you stood there staring at where matts body used to be before feeling someone yanking your arm to get your attention.

shit.

“what the actual fuck was that?” god if you’re listening. please spare me.

“i mean matt sturniolo? come on y/n your better than this” your brother said as you turned to face him.

you couldn’t even speak. you just swallowed and shrugged at him.

play it cool y/n.

“do mom and dad know about this?” he questioned.

“no caden” you sighed. beginning to walk away from him but he followed close behind.

“this is low y/n. you’re dating this guy? he has tattoos and shit, he smokes weed like every day and constantly turns up to practice stoned as hell” he explained. shit. how could you forget. they’re on the same fucking hockey team.

“i mean chris? maybe id let that slide, he’s a good guy. you picked the wrong fucking brother y/n” he laughed. you just closed your eyes and took a deep breath, continuing on your walk to class, trying not to turn around and murder him.

“if i’m-“ you turned around abruptly, stopping him in his tracks.

“are we forgetting that you’ve slept with half of this school? no right so keep your opinions to yourself. all i wanna know is if your gonna tell mom and dad or not” you breathed before looking at him.

“if i told them that would get you in a bunch of trouble y/n” he said before leaning down to your eye level and placing a hand on your shoulder. “of course i’m gonna fucking tell them” he said standing back up to laugh.

you bit back a smile, trying to keep your poker face before rolling your eyes and stomping away. the plan was in motion.

imesssage

matt: where are you?

y/n: in english.

matt: meet me outside of mr wilson’s class

y/n: no i don’t wanna see your ugly revolting face.

matt: don’t talk about yourself that way sweetheart.

matt: see you in 5.

douche bag.

“took your time. i was beginning to think i was getting stood up” matt said, watching you walk towards him with his hands in his pockets.

“gotta keep you on your toes” you said, coming to a stop, and looking up at him.

“i have a game on saturday and your coming to watch” he stated, licking his lips.

you crossed your arms and raised your eyebrows at him.

“are you asking me or telling me?” you questioned, looking at him as his eyes darted to something behind you, then back to yours.

“telling you” he stated flatly, beginning to chew on his lip, averting his eyes back to whatever it was behind you that was so fascinating.

“then in that case i’m not going” he didn’t even reply. you had expected a shitty comment or at least an eye roll, but he didn’t even acknowledge you as you stared at him.

“what are you looking-“ you started before you were cut off by his hand grabbing your wrist and yanking you into a empty closet and closing the door behind him.

there was a brief pause as you both stood there and every single piece of confidence you had before was ripped away in that very moment when he sauntered towards you with a shit eating grin on his face, stopping when your chest touched his.

you just blinked up at him, swallowing thickly and waiting for his next move. your heart was beating out of your chest and you were pretty sure matt could hear it as he stared down at you, studying your face for a second, before speaking.

“what’s the matter sweetheart? do i make you nervous?” he whispered, as he suddenly moved his face to the crook of your neck, placing a chaste kiss over your skin, making you suck in a breath. you felt him smirk against you as he moved up to the spot below your ear, letting his mouth linger there for a second while bringing his hands up to rest on your hips. you couldn’t help but let your head tip back slightly while closing your eyes. how did he have this much of an effect on you?

matt continued his actions, proceeding to leave kisses on your skin, occasionally letting his tongue dart out, leaving you almost whining.

this was not what you agreed on. the deal was no kissing or anything like that, and here you were breathing heavy, gripping his arms, while damn near ready to jump this man’s bones in the janitors closet. how did he have this effect on you? the two of you hated each-other, so why was he making you so wet?

suddenly his hands moved up to your waist, squeezing slightly, causing your eyes to snap open, and whatever trance he had you in to break.

“what the fuck!” you exclaimed, pushing him off of you, causing him to stumble slightly.

“coconut, i like that” he said referring to your perfume while licking his lips with a smirk on his face.

“are you high?” he just grinned at your questioning ,yet heavily flustered, expression before opening his mouth to speak.

“high is an understatement” he muttered. you just scoffed and shook your head.

“fuck you matt” you hissed at him.

he couldn’t help but smirk again at your words, you had given him the perfect opportunity, pretty much setting yourself up for failure.

“anytime baby” he grinned down at you, keeping his eyes trained on yours.

you wanted to fucking scream and punch his stupid, sexy, chiselled face, but instead settled for waking straight past him and out the door, bumping his shoulder with yours, but if looks could kill, matt sturniolo would be nothing more than a walking fucking legacy.

——————————————————————————

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @mattslolita @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @urfavstromboli @recklesssturniolo @delimeats-000 @gloomymatt @gwenlore @nickdevora @sturnioloenthusiast @savageking3 @iammattsturniolo @sturniolos4lifee @honestlybabymiracle @jenna0rtegaswife @megamia44 @mattswifue @crazycoka @lilsstvrn

[cxrdycxps]

Pretty Hurts • Ellie Williams

☢️ female reader • lesbian reader (it’s well defined) • canon typical violence • sexual assault • mean!ellie can’t deal with feelings • victim shaming • strap on sex • Ellie’s also mean in bed • recreational drug use ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Jesse! Hey, Jesse.” You chased your friend up the street, almost running into him when he stopped suddenly. He looked you up and down, eyes narrowed. It had been unseasonably warm today but he was sure you were pushing it.

“What’s got you all dressed up, Princess?” Jesse asked and you looked down at your outfit like you needed a reminder of what you were wearing. “Or dressed down, I guess?”

“You think it’s hot?” You asked him and he blanched, looking over his shoulder as if Dina would appear out of nowhere to hear the conversation. “Not for you obviously.”

Jesse would admit there was a certain allure to it. He would admit that on his death bed where a very jealous Dina wouldn’t be able to strangle him for it.

You had your usual cowboy boots on that you wore year round. You had been heartbroken when you busted your last pair beyond repair while on patrol one day. Ellie had saved the day almost three weeks later when she returned with a new pair for you.

Usually you could be found clad in a tight pair of jeans, weirdly proud of your looks for someone who had been born after the world ended. It had earned you the nickname of Princess by most of your peers. Today, instead of the typical jeans, was a short denim skirt. You had clearly sacrificed a pair of jeans for them but Jesse could appreciate the sacrifice. Completely unbiased, just as a man.

He was starting to get paranoid Dina would hear his thoughts. At this point he was going to deserve to be strangled. The top you were wearing was also of your own doing. It had been a white blouse once, Jesse guessed. Except now it was sleeveless and cropped, tying at the front in a little knot. You hadn’t bothered to button it all the way.

“Well that answers that.” You grinned happily and Jesse blinked at you. “You were staring, it means I look hot.”

You gave him a little twirl and he was treated to a glimpse of what he was certain was definitely your underwear. He closed his eyes and asked the lord for strength, if he even existed.

“Tonight’s the night.” You told him enthusiastically. Jesse still hadn’t gathered enough brain cells to answer you but it was like you didn’t need him to. Like you could read his mind in the way he feared Dina could. “Ellie’s finally coming to a dance.”

“Think you’ve picked it up wrong, Princess. Ellie doesn’t dance. Ellie actively avoids dances by hanging out in Joel’s garage and smoking so much she reeks of weed for three days after.” That was oddly specific. Jesse knew far too much about his friends at this point. Ellie’s smoking habits, the color of your underwear. When would it end?

“I know but it’s part of her fixing her relationship with Joel. He likes these things apparently, even though he just sits down the back and glares at people.” You told Jesse excitedly. For some reason Joel liked you.

He told you about how he was trying to fix things between him and Ellie. He talked to you during meals, he patrolled with you and he even had been caught leaving your house.

In the beginning it had been weird. Everyone felt weird about it including Ellie who had callously called you out for fucking Joel a few months after she had arrived to Jackson.

You hadn’t had the best reaction about it. Calling Ellie a slew of names, promptly bursting into tears and running out of the Tipsy Bison. And while Joel would probably murder people for looking at Ellie wrong, he had shaken his head at Ellie, following you out of the bar.

Turns out you had known Joel. He had helped you years ago when he had come across a gang of rival raiders, ones that didn’t have the same barely there morals he had.

No women or no children. He had sworn he wouldn’t do that and he had stuck to it. So when he came across you, barely ten and already far more exposed to the cruelties of the world something in him had snapped.

He had gotten you and your mother away. And the pair of you had made your way to Jackson, only for him to find you years later. Your mother having passed away since he had last saw you.

It just so happened one of the nights he had been walking home late from the Tipsy Bison he had encountered you trying to tell one of the stable boys you weren’t interested.

He hadn’t listened and Joel had intervened, reminding you of that fateful night so many years ago. The puzzle pieces had clicked and you had formed a sort of dependency on the man who had saved your life.

At this point Joel was collecting daughters like they were Pokémon and he was too tired to keep fighting it so he just let you come around when you had some small issue you needed advice on.

You had explained some of this to Ellie the next night, apologizing for calling her names in an act of graciousness nobody was sure Ellie deserved. It wasn’t long until most of your inner circle had put it together that you had a crush on her.

Everyone but Ellie, that was. So you had hatched these elaborate schemes to get her attention and everyone watched when you crashed and burned only to bounce back again and again.

You were kind of unshakeable. It was almost inspiring.

So when you walked into the Tipsy Bison that night with your hair curled and what passed for make up on these days everyone was ready to watch you fail again.

A few of the women had been reclaiming old beauty practices after a particularly good patrol had found an old salon with hair styling tools. And some out of date makeup but it was powders so did it even count as an expiration date?

“She always does so much and for what?” Ellie asked and Joel looked up from his drink to find you scanning the crowd. “Oh god she’s going to coming over here.”

“Cut her some slack, I thought you were friends now.” Joel sighed and Ellie looked back at Joel before looking back at you.

“We’ve nothing in common except Jesse and Dina.” Ellie explained to Joel. Joel knew he was on thin enough ice with Ellie so he didn’t mention that according to you, there was so many shared interests that it just made sense.

Instead of approaching like Ellie had predicted you would after spotting her, you made your way to the bar instead and Joel watched Ellie’s eyes lock on the length of your skirt. Or rather the lack of length to it.

Joel wondered if he was in good enough graces with Ellie again yet to make a joke about it but he caught himself at the last second in case he ruined your best laid plans.

He looked back to you at the bar and found it wasn’t just Ellie’s attention you had managed to capture. Stable boy apparently hadn’t learned his lesson and had returned for more.

Joel straightened up in his seat and wondered if Tommy would kill him for hurting this kid. It would probably be worth it to teach him a lesson.

Joel didn’t need to move because he watched Ellie approach you and slot in on your other side, taking all of your attention. Ellie gestured for three drinks off Seth before turning to look at you.

“New skirt?” Ellie asked and you lit up like the fact that she noticed was the greatest thing ever. Like you couldn’t even hear the stable boy say anything from behind you as he attempted to get your attention back.

“Do you like it?” You asked Ellie, giving her a little twirl so she could appreciate the whole view. Ellie let her eyes trace you up and down as you finished with a little bounce and who was Ellie to not appreciate the way your tits moved.

“I mean, it’s a skirt.” She shrugged and you visibly deflated as Seth approached with the drinks.

“I think it’s a great skirt.” Stable boy told you and you barely looked over your shoulder at him to roll your eyes.

“Literally no one in Jackson cares what you think Darwin.” You snapped and Ellie laughed lightly, nudging the third glass in your direction.

“Come on then.” She instructed and nodded to where Joel was sitting, watching the whole interaction with what was almost a smile on his face.

“With you?” You asked, cradling the drink in your hand and looking between her and the table.

“Unless you want to stay here with Darwin?” Ellie shrugged and started walking away. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you followed her over to the table. Instead of taking the seat she had been in, beside Joel, she took the one across the table from him, kicking the chair beside her out in a casual way that made your heart beat double time.

“Hey Joel, how you doin’?” You asked, smiling at him before taking a sip of your drink. He took his own drink from the table and sipped at it slowly, looking over your shoulder.

“Am I gonna have to talk to Stable Boy?” Joel asked rather than answer your question and you followed his gaze to where Darwin had his elbows leaned back on the bar, watching you.

“She’s plenty capable, ain’t you Princess?” Ellie asked, her arm sliding along the back of your chair. “Put him in his place just now.”

You had been barely paying attention to Darwin at the bar, definitely not enough to remember what you had said. Recalling as much was even hard with Ellie’s fingers tracing the place when you had cut the sleeves off your blouse. Her finger traced your skin lightly and you could feel the goosebumps following in her wake.

“Is that so?” Joel asked with what was almost a smile. “What’d you tell him?”

“I uh, I don’t know.” You muttered, looking back again to find Darwin wasn’t looking anymore, talking to some of his friends. “I wasn’t mean, was I?”

“Told him no one cared about his opinion in all of Jackson.” Ellie sounded proud of you and you leaned further back into her arm with a satisfied grin.

“He should know better than goin’ talkin’ to you anyway.” Joel muttered, swirling his glass as the music started up. “I obviously didn’t scare him enough.”

Ellie looked between you both and back to Darwin. You figured she didn’t know anything about the night Joel interrupted you both in the middle of an argument.

“Darwin’s really not so bad.” You sighed, looking back at him again. He was talking avidly, telling a story with his hands and his friends were laughing. “He just don’t know what to do with a pretty girl.”

“Pretty girl?” Ellie laughed meanly and you looked up at her and swallowed the lump suddenly growing in your throat. “You sure of that?”

You leaned forward, away from her arm and stared at the table before looking up at Joel who was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I uh, I’m gonna..” you trailed off, shaking your head before standing up.

You passed Jesse and Dina who were coming in. They watched you and looked across to where Ellie was watching you leave, her arm still slung around your chair.

You tried to ignore the cold, crossing your arms across your chest and heading for home. You wiped at your eyes feeling pathetic that you were actually gonna cry.

“Hey Princess!” You sighed, looking over your shoulder and found Darwin standing a couple of feet away. “You usually never leave a dance until the music stops playing.”

“I don’t feel much like dancin’.” You shrugged, shivering again. He sighed, stepping a little closer and extending his jacket he had in his hand. “It’s fine.”

“Take it, nothing worse than seeing a pretty girl cry. She don’t need to be cold too.” You laughed at his logic, taking his jacket from his outstretched hand. “What’s got you so upset? Thought all your dreams were coming true with how close you two were.”

“She insinuated I wasn’t pretty.” You told him, feeling pathetic. You wiped your tears away again and Darwin rolled his eyes, stepping close enough to pull you into a hug. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“It ain’t stupid. You know you’re the prettiest girl in town. That’s why everyone calls you Princess.” He assured you, a soothing hand rubbing your back. “We all got our talents and ain’t no one as pretty as you.”

“I got other talents.” You muttered petulantly and he laughed.

“I know you do. You’re a dab hand at tracking, make the rest of us look stupid. When fall comes you make a great apple pie. And you ain’t never failed to put a smile on someone’s face no matter how bad their day is.” Darwin told you with a squeeze. You looked up at him and pouted.

“Why can’t I like you?” You asked him and he laughed, tossing his head back. “Ellie would never say all that to me. She’s just mean.”

“I wish you could like me too. But it ain’t that simple telling your heart what to do.” He released you with one arm, wrapping the other around your shoulder to guide you home.

“Ain’t that for sure.” You sighed before looking back to where the music was pouring from the Tipsy Bison. “You wanna dance?”

“You tryna get my hopes up?” He asked with a laugh and you shook your head at him, squaring your shoulders. “Thought you weren’t up for dancin’?”

“I ain’t but she doesn’t get to know she hurt me like that. So we should go back and dance. I still ain’t gonna crawl into your bed tonight but we can be friends, can’t we?” You asked and Darwin could only roll his eyes, turning back towards the bar.

“Maybe a couple of the other girls’ll see you in my arm and start paying me some attention.” You looked almost offended and he shrugged. “Ain’t you using me to make her jealous?”

You were and he was right about it. It shouldn’t hurt that he was getting something out of it too so you only nodded at him, taking his hand and leading into the bar.

He paused you in the doorway and lifted his hands up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs running under your eyes. “Don’t let her know she made you cry.”

You smiled up at him as the door pushed open. Jesse looked between you and Darwin and paused in place, jaw dropped.

“I was just coming to check on you.” Jesse muttered and you shrugged as Darwin dropped his hands from your face.

“We were just getting some air.” You told Jesse, pulling Darwin back into the bar by his hand. “Nothing to see here.”

///

The sounds of the forest were better to quiet your mind than any of the weed Eugene managed to bring into Jackson. You stood with your head tilted back towards the sun, letting the breeze cool you.

You could hear the noise of the others as they travelled through the small settlement behind you, killing off the runners you’d been tracking.

You didn’t much get involved in that. It turned your stomach at best and made you violently ill at worse.

You had a gun on your hip that you only ever shot at unmoving targets, keeping your skills sharp but without causing harm. You had seen enough blood to last you a lifetime.

“Bout ready to get saddled up again, Princess.” Joel told you from a little to your left. You turned your head to look at him, lifting a hand to block the sun rays. “You finished sunbathing?”

“Almost, a bloater travelled through here. Couple days ago at most.” You told Joel and he looked around, watching for what you saw. You didn’t share any of the details with him. You didn’t need to be out of a job.

“Got enough time?” Joel asked and you shook your head. He nodded slowly, watching the forest with you. “We’ll come out this way again tomorrow. Plan an overnight patrol.”

“Sounds good to me.” You agreed lightly, listening to the sounds of everyone else saddling back up from a little behind the tree line.

“So, stable boy, huh?” Joel asked and you rolled your eyes. You looked up at Joel, still shielding your eyes before turning and heading back to your horse. “I’m just asking.”

“Well don’t. Darwin and I are friends. He’s nicer than other people I chose to associate with recently.” You told him, pulling yourself up onto your horse without bothering to look back at him. “Maybe it’s time I find good friends.”

“You got good friends and none of them tried to force themselves on you in a dark alley.” Joel reasoned as he pulled himself up onto his horse.

“He wasn’t gonna force himself on me.” You sighed. “He was a little drunk and thought I just needed convincin’. He never set a hand on me. I’m not that ten year old anymore.”

“I know that. You’re a woman now and you make your own decisions. I just wanna make sure you’re making good ones.” You stared at Joel, eyebrows furrowed.

“Joel, I uh, I ain’t tryin’ to be rude. But you aren’t my father.” You told him, bewildered at the sharing he was doing when usually a grunt was all the acknowledging you’d get. “You got Ellie for that.”

“You ain’t ever turned my advice down before.” He shrugged and you shook your head.

“Thanks to your advice I was cryin’ outside the bar last week. You told me to have patience but Joel, I ain’t ever gonna let someone talk to me like that.” You sighed. He didn’t reply and you didn’t much care, urging your horse on ahead.

You spent some time discussing an early patrol tomorrow with Tommy. He’d need to put together a small team for overnight so that you could track that bloater and get rid of it.

You resolutely ignored Joel who’s eyes you could feel burning into your back and kept a similar distance from Jesse who was just confused for all intents and purposes.

You didn’t bother taking time to explain to any of your friends why you were quietly drawing away from them. You didn’t know how to explain what finally tipped you over the edge was a dig that maybe you weren’t as pretty as you thought you were.

You were embarrassed to admit it had knocked your confidence a little. You had always held your looks close to your heart. You were a little vain, you knew as much. Your mama had been the most beautiful woman you had known. She had told you about being a pageant queen and how she had loved looking pretty.

Jesse wouldn’t understand it. He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t understand that drive to be worried about how you looked. Dina would laugh at you, of that you were sure. She had always laughed at your need to wear clothes that almost bordered on impractical.

You hadn’t minded before. But now you wondered if maybe you were an outsider. You had been friends with Jesse and Dina way before Ellie had come along but Ellie had slotted in seamlessly to the group. It was a kind of heartbreaking thought that once again you were isolated from everyone else.

On your return to Jackson, Darwin was at the stable, welcoming in the patrol men and taking their horses. You hung around for a while, helping Darwin with brushing the horses and settling them in for the night.

"We'll be heading out again tomorrow." You told him, fighting around a yawn. He looked up from where he was brushing Joel's horse and smiled at you. "Ain't you up for a patrol soon?"

The patrol schedule, like most jobs in Jackson, was rotational. For everyday patrols there was a set schedule and groups who would do them all the time. But the long patrols, the overnight, were a town-wide rotation in which every able-bodied adult took part.

Your momma had said something about jury duty the first time it had come up. You never had a chance to ask her what that had meant.

"Yeah sure, think I'll be in for this one." Darwin nodded, finishing up with the horse and dusting his hands off. He gave you a grin and you rolled your eyes at him, already expecting the stupid joke that followed that particular grin. "You wanna share a sleeping bag?"

"I think I'd rather share it with the bloater we're looking for." You scoffed, tossing his bag at him as you left the stable with him. You cast a look in through the other stables as you both left and found Ellie brushing Shimmer.

She looked over her shoulder at the sound of Darwin chattering and you paused when she called our name. When you paused in place Darwin stopped by your side. Ellie stared between you both, eyes narrowing.

"I'll see you at dinner." You told Darwin with a sigh, resting your arms on the half door of the stable. Ellie watched him walk away before turning to you with a raised eyebrow.

"You heading out tomorrow?" Ellie asked and you nodded, resting your chin on your forearms. She fidgeted with the brush in her hands, barely looking up at you. "Joel says it's a bloater. You ever seen one before?"

"Is this an exam, do I need to get so many questions right before you let me leave?" You asked her and she rolled her eyes, throwing the brush into her bag.

"I was just asking, no need to get your panties in a twist." Ellie scoffed and you huffed, standing up straight. "I can't make conversation with you now? Got your little boyfriend and suddenly you're too good for your friends."

"Like you're a friend? The way that you treat me?" You asked with a scoff and Ellie recoiled as if you had shocked her with something she didn't already know. "You cut me down at every single chance you get and call yourself my friend."

"It was a joke, I can't make a joke?" She asked, almost shouting and you shook your head, running a hand through your hair. "You never had a problem with me making a joke before."

"You never called me ugly before." You muttered and she blinked at you. You stared at her for several seconds as she remained unmoving and sighed. "I never realized you were laughing at me, not with me. It hurt a little."

You left her standing in the stable and wondered how she dared to pretend she hadn't noticed that everything she had said to you wasn't a dig in one way or another.

You had clearly been delusional in thinking that there would ever have been a chance that she was interested in you.

///

The thing about early morning patrols was that most people in the usual patrol group kept it quiet until everyone had fully woken up. By everyone, you meant mostly Eugene and yourself.

Unfortunately, Darwin had chosen this morning to be especially chatty and Ellie was telling Joel a bunch of puns from a tattered book. You leaned forward, your forehead against your horse's mane, and tried to tune it all out before you raised your head again.

"Up late, Princess?" Darwin asked and you groaned, lifting a hand to block out the rising sun from your eyes.

“Dreaming of you, Sweetheart.” You told him before digging your heels in and urging your horse up ahead to Eugene who seemed to be distancing himself from the chatter boxes.

“Damn shame we can’t just tape their mouth shut.” Eugene grunted and you laughed at him, rolling your eyes. “That boy of yours could draw a pack of the biters with a whisper.”

“He ain’t mine.” You laughed and Eugene shook his head, pulling down his sunglasses to look at you. “He’s not my type.”

“The other loud mouth is though.” He pointed out and you sighed heavily, reaching out and attempting to swipe his sunglasses.

“Cmon old man, I know you stole my last pair. I just know it.” You accused and he shook his head with a smirk as he batted your hands away.

“You can’t prove it, Princess. You’ll have to keep a look out for your own.” He told you and you sighed. You were approaching the location you had spotted bloater tracks so you sat up straight and reached back to tie your hair up in a ponytail.

Darwin joined your sides the same filthy grin on his face that you knew a comment was coming. “You know what that does to me, baby.”

“You make me want to vomit.” You replied with a sigh, pulling on your horses reigns and hopping down. Eugene followed you while the others waited back.

“Think it might have fallen off a cliff and died and we can just all go home?” Eugene asked and you rolled your eyes. You followed the signs that lead you to your discovery the other day.

Several of the plants had been squashed in the surrounding area. On several of the trees there was residue from the bloater knocking into them. The terrible echolocation skills allowed you to follow their path pretty easily.

“Dumb motherfucker got me wasting a whole day and night on this shit.” Eugene sighed, watching you follow the path of destruction. He went back for your horses and to gather everyone else.

You took your time, watching the signs and clues. At one point the bloater had just wandered in a circle, trampling a ring of destruction. You figured it was probably chasing an animal or something.

When the others caught up you accepted the reigns of your horse off Eugene and hopped up on her back. The group was much quieter as you followed the trail.

You had been right about one thing. The bloater had been a few days ahead of you. By the time the sun was beginning to set you were still over a day behind it. With the slow speed it travelled you would be well able to catch up the following morning and be home before sundown.

With that news the group made way to the nearest outpost in a small farm house. The horses were set up in the barn, Darwin offering to do his duty by settling them all in.

The rest of you trailed into the farmhouse.

Joel lit a fire while everyone set up their space for the night. You and Eugene played rock paper scissors for the sofa and he laughed when you lost, setting your sleeping bag up on the floor.

He then lost to Joel who disputed his claim only for him to offer the sofa to Ellie which made you and Eugene roll your eyes.

You hung a pot over the fire, unpacking a few tins of food. While you waited you dug your fists into the bottom of your back, trying to ease the pain taking residence there.

“I got somethin’ for that!” Eugene called and you only laughed at him. You had no doubt he had an arsenal of ‘stuff’. “You young people shouldn’t be hurting’ like you’re eighty.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.” Joel clapped Eugene on the shoulder in passing.

///

Mostly everyone was sleeping. Eugene was starfished by the fire, his massive form almost blocking the light from it. Ellie was curled up on the sofa, her hand resting down the side, almost touching Joel who was sleeping next to her, still as a corpse. Darwin was closest to where you had set up, almost completely covered by his sleeping bag, only the top of his head peeking out.

You were sat up, turning your gun over in your hand. It was your turn to keep watch and you had sat yourself up on a counter in the kitchen to do so. The floor was open plan so you could still see everyone while keeping an eye on things outside.

The heat of the evening was getting to you and so you took a second to pad outside, wincing at the creak of the screen door. There was a bench on the porch and you lowered yourself into it.

The night was silent, the only sound from the slight rustle of the leaves in the gentle breeze. There was just over half a moon, a natural source of light allowing you to see the trees of the forest.

In times like this it was easy to forget why you were out here. You had never known a life before the outbreak but your momma had told you stories about how she had lived.

You wanted to experience a peagant and see her in all her glory. You wanted a prom and Friday night football games. You wanted to know what it had all been about.

Most of all you wanted your momma. She’d probably be able to comfort you in getting over Ellie. She always was able to calm you down even when the two of you were living through hell.

That was if she was okay with you liking girls. You had never had a chance to tell her about how you felt. She had died well before you had accepted it.

Cancer.

The world ended and zombies took over but cancer was what killed her in the end. Without chemo there was nothing the doctors in Jackson could do.

The people of Jackson had been good to you. You had lived in a boarding house until you were eighteen and then gave you back your momma’s house.

The screen door creaked and you looked up when Darwin stepped out. He didn’t speak and so neither did you, letting him take his place beside you.

“Hard to sleep when we ain’t at home.” He told you after a little while and you nodded in agreement, still watching the forest. “You okay?”

“Just thinkin’ about Momma.” You told him honestly. “I been missin’ her.”

“She’d be real proud of you.” He told you with a cut off laugh. “I remember her. She was real pretty and real nice. Used to help my mom set her hair in rollers on special occasions.”

“She didn’t want beauty to die.” You told him and he nodded. Everyone knew that about her. Some people had thought her vain. But in her eyes it was her culture, her history. Her momma had been the same and even her momma before that.

“As long as you’re alive beauty is sure to be.” Darwin smiled at you and you smiled back, tipping your head to lay on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you and together you watched the forest.

It was tipping into Darwin’s watch time before he spoke again, calling your name softly to see if you were awake. You hummed sleepily and he chuckled.

“We could’ve been so easy, you know?” He asked, sighing wistfully. You sat up as if you had been scolded and he reached for your hand in apology. “I know, you don’t like men. But if you did it would be easy.”

“Yeah. I’ve always known, you know?” You asked him, laughing humorlessly. “I didn’t get crushes on boys so I just ignored it. And then I met Ellie.”

“Did you ever even try?” Darwin asked, pulling back to look at you. “Did you just write all men off?”

“I didn’t need to try. I knew.” You didn’t like the accusation in his tone and so you leaned back away from him. He released your hand to run a hand through his hair. “I’ve always known.”

“You can’t know something like that.” You opened your mouth to argue with him and he pressed forward, his hand tangling in your hair and holding you in place. He forced himself on you, kissing you so hard your teeth bruised your lips and you gasped.

His tongue invaded your mouth while his hands pawed at your chest. You struggled to push away from him but he was stronger than you. The only sound was the click of your safety, the gun against his stomach.

He froze, not releasing you entirely but pulling his lips back from yours. “What are you doing?”

“Get your hands off me. Right now.” You warned, your voice shaky. He raised both hands, pulling away slowly from you. “If you ever touch me again I-”

“You won’t use that gun, sweetheart.” Even with his hands raised he was cocky about it and you knew he was right. You didn’t shoot infected never mind living people.

“I won’t have to. Joel is plenty fond of using his.” You warned standing up and walking back towards the screen door. He didn’t follow you inside and you paused inside the door.

Eugene and Joel were unmoved. Ellie had rolled over to face the back of the sofa but she was still. You took a moment to gather yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

Your hands were shaking as you returned to your bed roll, pulling it closer to Joel. You pulled the blanket up over your head and tried not to shake with your sobs, freezing when the creak of the screen door signaled Darwin’s return inside.

///

“You okay there, Princess?” Eugene asked quietly. The other three had pulled ahead, the early morning chatter driving you and him a few meters back. When you didn’t answer Eugene tried again. “Princess, you with me?”

“Huh?” You blinked at him, shaking your head and then looking back to him. “I was in my own world. Sorry.”

“Hope it’s damn better than this one.” He sighed and you huffed a laugh before sighing yourself. Ellie and Joel were chatting up the front. Darwin interjected every once in a while but Ellie seemed to be trying to exclude him.

Your eyes were dry from crying and the headache you had wasn’t aided by the sun that was beating down on top of you. Your stomach turned every time Darwin looked back at you.

You wanted to scream at him to stop looking at you. You wanted to tell Joel and Eugene what he had done to you so that they could leave his body in the woods. You wanted to dig your heels in to your horse and gallop into the woods where no one would ever touch you again.

Instead you clutched the reins so your hand wouldn’t shake and you nudged your horse into speeding up to take the lead before Joel could call you.

You were closer to the bloater, somewhere within an hour of its stumbling steps. It was traveling in a wide arc and with time it would return to Jackson’s area. It made the trip worth it. For everyone but you it seemed.

It took less than fifteen minutes for you to land on the bloaters tail. There was scraps of what counted as flesh on the trees, trampled plants and a lack of nature sounds in the area.

When the horses grew too loud you left them back, tying their reins to the trees. Eugene took the lead with Joel following up on the end of the group. The bloater was easy tracked from here.

Eugene had his shotgun loaded and Joel had his rifle. Ellie was using her pistol but she had a Molotov cocktail to get things started. You held your pistol in your grip and hoped you wouldn’t need it. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Darwin and ensure he had a loaded gun.

The bloater was trying to navigate the forest and found difficulty in getting past the dense trees. Every couple of feet it stumbled and almost knocked itself over.

It was pathetic to watch but you knew once the first shot was taken it would no longer be this stumbling mess but an evolved killing machine.

Joel lifted a hand and pointed at Ellie to stay. Eugene and him circled around until the bloater was unknowingly surrounded. Darwin took post beside Ellie and you stood back, pistol raised and hands shaking.

With a nod Ellie threw the Molotov which burst at the bloaters feet. The infected screeched and roared when Ellie followed with two shots from her pistol.

Eugene raised his shotgun as you looked around. A shot went off followed by Joel’s rifle and the bloater hit the ground. You were still looking around, following imprints in the ground. There was a second pair of bare feet, much smaller than the bloater. You had missed them.

You turned to warn everyone, all of them gathered by the bloater. Just behind Ellie a stalker approached. You didn’t have time to warn them when two shots sounded. The stalkers body dropped and so did you.

Your knees buckled from under you landing you in the dead leaves and branches on the ground. You had dropped your gun, hands over your ears trying to block out the sound.

Joel was checking over Ellie who had barely moved despite how close your bullets had come to her head. She was staring at the stalker, two bullets lodged in its head.

Darwin got to you first and reached for you but you scrambled away. “Don’t touch me. Don’t fucking touch me.”

You reached for your gun again and pointed it at him catching Joel and Eugene’s attention as Darwin raised his hands in surrender. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

You knew you were sobbing, your hands shaking violently. Joel and Eugene were talking to you and you knew you should listen but you couldn’t. You had shot someone. You had shot someone to save Ellie. An infected, sure. But it had been someone once.

“Hey there, Princess.” Her voice broke the quiet. “I’m gonna take that from you. I ain’t a fan of Darwin either but we can’t shoot him.”

She reached out and hit the safety on your gun before removing it from your shaking hands. You looked from Darwin to her and she shushed you when you tried to speak. “That’s okay, I just don’t wanna muck out the stalls if he’s dead.”

“I shot someone.” You whispered and Ellie shook her head. You could still see the body of the stalker so you nodded. “I did. I killed someone.”

“You saved my life, that’s what you did. You saved me.” Ellie told you and you blinked, focusing on her face. “You did your job and tracked the bloater and then you tracked the stalker. You saved my life, Princess.”

“I should’ve, I couldn’t-”

“Shh, that’s okay. Why don’t we head on home?” Ellie asked, helping you up off the ground. “Get some warm food and a decent bed to make up for last night. You okay to ride?”

“I can share with her.” Darwin reached out and you flinched away into Ellie. “It’s okay, Princess. It’s just me.”

“Don’t let him touch me.” You begged Ellie quietly. “Please don’t let him touch me.”

Ellie kept one arm around you as she guided you to the horses. She was talking to you quietly but all you could see was your shaking hands. The hands of a murderer.

“Time to get on up. You can share with me, okay?” Ellie asked. On autopilot you climbed up onto Shimmer and shifted forward when the press of Ellie warmed against your back.

“You and I are gonna talk when we get home.” Joel muttered in the background and you released a breath. Joel would protect you just like always.

///

You were in your bed. You didn’t know how you had gotten there. You were also in pyjamas. You didn’t remember putting them on. You felt off balance and shaky as you swung your legs over the edge of your bed.

The light behind your curtains told you it was midday but the last thing you remembered was closing in on the bloater with the others. When you staggered to your feet it came back to you slowly.

The stalker. You had shot it. Darwin’s hands reaching for you. Ellie and her calming voice trying to soothe you on the ride back to Jackson.

You opened your bedroom door and listened closely for voices. You and Dina lived together in your mommas old house. It wasn’t so much an offer you had made but a decision Maria had. Housing was better used for families than one single person and so Dina had joined you when her family were gone.

When you reached the living room Ellie was asleep on the sofa which surprised you. She had said something about beds. You could remember that much.

You wiped your eyes tiredly and fought a yawn as you stepped into the living room. She hadn’t changed her clothes or even gone home. Her pack was by the top of the sofa. You nudged one of her legs and her eyes opened slowly.

She sniffled a bit, a hand running over her face. When she blinked and looked up she saw you and rushed to sit up on the sofa. “You’re awake!”

“Just barely. What are you doing here?” You asked, confused. Ellie’s eyes tracked the length of your body and you folded your arms across your chest. Your pajamas weren’t the most attractive attire. “How did I get here?”

“I brought you home.” Ellie explained, patting the space beside her. You took a seat but left more distance than she had intended between you both. “You were sort of out of it for a while.”

“Yeah, that’s happens sometimes.” You muttered and looked down at your hands. “Did you put me to bed?”

“No. That was all Dina. I’ve been down here the whole time, I swear.” You nodded at her words and yawned again. Ellie didn’t say anything and you had nothing to say so you leaned back on the sofa and pulled your legs up under you.

You almost drifted off again when Ellie cleared her throat. You turned your head to look at her but she was staring down at her hands instead of meeting your eyes. “Darwin told us what happened.”

“Did he now?” You asked. Your hands tightened into fists so that they wouldn’t shake and you turned your face away from her to hide your expression. “I’m sure it was very informative.”

“He told us he kissed you.” Ellie sighed and you scoffed, shaking your head. “Yeah, Joel didn’t believe that story. So he asked him again, a little more forceful.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what else to say to that. You didn’t like the thought of people getting hurt but Darwin hadn’t cared about hurting you. “Is Joel gonna be in trouble?”

“No. Darwin isn’t going to talk to anyone about what happened.” Ellie assured you and you nodded slowly, your lips pursed. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Wasn’t you, was it?” You asked quietly. You fixed your gaze on the wall and picked at the skin around your nails. “Why haven’t you gone home?”

“Because I wanted to make sure that you were okay. And I wanted to apologise because I seen him do it. I saw him kiss you and I turned around and went back to bed.” You continued to stare at the wall and didn’t even try to fight the tears that welled in your eyes. “I didn’t know what it was. I heard arguing and I was just checking on you both. When I looked out you were kissing.”

You tried to fight it. The lump in your throat. Ellie was desperate to explain to you and you knew it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known. But she should’ve known something hadn’t been right.

You sniffed and wiped at your face, flinching away from her hand when she reached for you. You blinked and more tears fell. “You guys were the first. You, Jesse and Dina. I hadn’t even admitted to myself really.”

You sniffed again and wiped under your nose with your sleeve. You probably looked a mess right now but for the first time in your life you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “I uh- I never told my Momma. I didn’t know how she’d feel, always wanted me to find a husband. Give her grandbabies.”

“I told Darwin that I ignored it. That I always knew but I pushed it down.” Ellie stayed silent as you swallowed past the lump in you throat, wiping your eyes roughly with your sleeves. It took you a couple of seconds to get talking again and Ellie stared at her lap, picking her nails. “I told him it was you that helped me realize it. That helped me be confident enough to come out.”

Ellie opened her mouth but you only shook your head, raising you hand to stop her. Your hand was shaking and you clenched it into a fist letting it drop back down into your lap. “I’ve had people tell me I’m too pretty to be gay. I trusted you all to believe me.”

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” Ellie asked in shock and you sniffed again shaking your head. You scrubbed your hand over your face and swallowed past the recurring lump. “That’s what it fucking sounds like.”

“It’s no one faults but Darwin. He shouldn’t have done what he did but didn’t you question it for a second?” You asked her desperately. “Wasn’t there some part of you that wondered why I would do that with him. A man who has a history of being a little too forceful with his come ons?”

“How the hell was I supposed to know you hadn’t changed your mind? You always flirt with him! You were dancing together and you get dinner!” Ellie was yelling now but you didn’t have it in you to yell back. You were so drained of energy. “The short fucking skirts and tight jeans? Your tits are out most of the damn time.”

Ellie covered her mouth when your head snapped to look at her. Your jaw had dropped and your eyes widened as he words sunk in. “So it’s my fault?”

“No- that’s not what I’m-” Ellie stuttered out a half response and you stared at her. Waiting for something different. Waiting for her to explain it.

“You gave me the confidence to come out. To be myself and dress how I like. To not care about people thinking I’m too pretty to be gay. And everyday since you’ve chipped away at that confidence. You can have it all. Just get out of my house.” You spoke evenly but your voice cracked at the end and you swallowed. “Don’t come back. I don’t care if it’s to see Dina, I don’t care if the house is on fire, I don’t care if the walls of Jackson fall down. Just don’t come back.”

“Princess, please-”

“Get the fuck out! Get out now!” You screamed at her and she raised her hands in defense, heading for the door. You watched her leave before curling up on the sofa and crying yourself back to a fitful sleep.

///

“You okay?” You nodded at Dina as you grabbed your bag off the chair in the kitchen. She held out a mug and you sipped at it between attempts to slip into your boots. “New jeans?”

“Don’t.” You hadn’t talked about any of it you didn’t tell her why you argued with Ellie, why she couldn’t come around anymore. You didn’t give any excuse other than the colder weather for the reason you were covered in layers. “I’ve got an early patrol. I’ll make dinner.”

Dina watched you tie your hair back into a loose ponytail at the base of your skull. It hadn’t been curled since that disastrous patrol. Your face was usually free of make up now and Dina finally understood what you had tried to explain.

The beauty was half of who you were. Your sunny disposition was the other half. Without you putting effort into either halves you were just a shell, pushing through each day.

“I’m off today. I can make dinner. We can have some people over. Jesse, maybe Joel and Ellie?” Dina offered and you looked up from your mug, eyes narrowed. “Or not Ellie?”

“I don’t want her in the house, Dina.” You warned her, checking your gun was loaded before tucking it into the holster by your hip. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“If you would just tell me why I could help.” Dina insisted. She stopped in front of you and reached for your arms. You flinched away from her. “You went on patrol and you came back different. Eugene says you shot a stalker and it shook you? Why is Ellie the bad guy?”

“God, Dina! No one is the bad guy, okay?” You snapped, pulling away from her further, taking steps backwards. “It was time I got my priorities in order.”

Dina couldn’t reply before you turned on your heel and left the house, the door slamming behind you. She sighed and watched out the window as you headed for the stables.

Eugene was waiting for you when you arrived, tossing a pair of sunglasses at you. You almost fumbled, catching them at the last second. “Time you stop complaining, ain’t it?”

“Where’d you find ‘em?” You asked, sliding them on against the sunshine. You grinned and Eugene and he smiled back, leading you toward the two prepared horses.

“I didn’t. Someone passed them along for you.” Your grin dropped. You knew what that was code for. You busted a boot a week ago, a new pair waited on the porch in the days that followed. Now there was sunglasses while you were heading out on patrol.

“She should mind her own business.” You didn’t take the sunglasses off though. You needed them and they were a rarity these days. You pulled yourself up onto your horse, patting Henry on his neck as you headed for the gates.

“Think she feels bad. Don’t know why, ain’t her fault. Ain’t anyones fault. Accidents happen on a patrol, you shot the stalker. Everyone survived.” Eugene muttered waving the guards of the gate off. You nodded at Jesse when he shouted his goodbye.

“It’s a more personal issue.” You explained and Eugene nodded. You didn’t elaborate further and let him draw his own conclusions.

The patrol went easy, it was more a chance to enjoy the sun while riding through the forest. At the last outpost Eugene pulled his horse to a stop and you copied him, lifting your sunglasses to watch him.

“I told them we’d be late back. That we’d have a stop to make.” He offered you a grin and you took him up on that grin, turning your horse to where you knew he wanted to go.

///

You tossed yourself down on the sofa hand extended towards Eugene. He only laughed at you but he did in fact hand over the joint. You inhaled deeply from it and coughed a little.

“Doing God’s work, you know that?” You asked him with a sigh, tilting your head back to look at the ceiling above you.

“Feel like if anyone could do with some relaxin’ then it’d be you.” Eugene sat back on a stool, his own joint between his lips. “Now tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head, Princess.”

“It’s fucking stupid.” You sighed before inhaling again. You counted the cracks in the ceilings before throwing your arm over your eyes. “Darwin crossed a line. A big line.”

“Explained Joel near breaking his nose.” Eugene replied. You hadn’t seen Darwin in the month or so since that patrol but the rumors had reached you that he had returned with a bloody and bruised nose. “He hurt you?”

“He kissed me. Tried to prove some point that I didn’t like men cause I hadn’t tried them.” You explained and Eugene scoffed.

“I ain’t tried men and I sure as shit know I don’t like ‘em. Why would anyone want a man when there’s women?” Eugene asked. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, nodding in agreement. You inhaled again from the joint and lifted your arm to look at Eugene.

“Ellie, well she, I mean. You know how I felt about her, right?” You asked and Eugene only rolled his eyes releasing a puff of smoke. “I mean everyone knew how I felt. I loved her, I think.”

“Yeah, you’d have to be blind not to see it. That past tense is throwing me off though.” Eugene admitted. “What’s caused that?”

“Well she, I mean she saw it right? And she just thought I was kissin’ him. But she knew. Knew I didn’t like men. But she just went back to sleep. Now I ain’t blamin’ her. I ain’t. But why would she do that?” You asked Eugene. “I was just sitting there and he was holding me so I couldn’t pull away. She didn’t even try.”

“Sounds a lot like blame to me.” Eugene huffed and you frowned at him. “Probably sounded like it to Ellie too.”

“I’m not blaming her. I’m blaming Darwin. He’s the one who did it, he’s the one who hurt me.” You argued. “But she didn’t even second guess it.”

“You’re embarrassed. You never let Ellie see you anywhere less than perfect. Suddenly she sees you at the lowest you’ve ever been and you can’t cope with the embarrassment of that.” Eugene ran his fingers through his beard.

“Where in the fuck did that come from?” You asked in shock, sitting up on the couch. “You got a psychology degree or some shit?”

“I got life experience.” He rolled his eyes like it was obvious. “You can’t blame Ellie for Darwin’s actions.”

“I can blame her for her reaction. She said it was my fault, that I led him on. The way I acted and the way I dressed. Like I was asking for it.” You told him with a huff, inhaling one last time. “I shouldn’t have to dress a certain way to be safe.”

“No. You shouldn’t. But we also shouldn’t be stuck on this doomed rock fighting fucking monsters. Things aren’t always as they should be.” He sighed and you pouted at him. “Wearing the clothes you do makes you a target. Now it shouldn’t but it does. Being nice to Darwin though, that’s not leading him on. You were just tryna be his friend.”

“So now I have to dress like this all my life so men don’t think they got a right to me? I gotta forget what my momma thought me? Stop being pretty?” You asked and Eugene shrugged. “I don’t want to do that.”

“You already did. You don’t do your hair or makeup anymore. You’re wearing baggy clothes now.” Eugene pointed out and you sighed. He wasn’t wrong. “The thing is though. You’re still pretty. You’re beauty wasn’t cause a some powder or some curls. Your beauty comes from being the sweet girl you are.”

“You’re a sap.”

“Blame the weed.”

///

“I’ve got a present.” You could still feel the effects of the joint, partly responsible for your good mood when you stepped inside. You kicked off your boots and dropped your bag, passing the living room and heading for the kitchen only to pause and take two steps back.

Ellie was sitting on your sofa. Alone.

“Where’s Dina?” You asked quietly and Ellie shrugged, her lips pursed. “Thought I told you not to come around no more.”

“Dina said you changed your mind. To wait for you to get home so we could talk.” Ellie pushed herself up off the sofa. "But I'm guessing that's not true because it's not the kind of conversation to be had while high."

"Obviously it's not true. Didn't realize I'm not allowed to smoke. Guess I can't be pretty or fun anymore." You scoffed, shaking your head. "For someone who doesn't want to date me, you sure have a lot of expectations."

"I didn't say you couldn't be fun. I shouldn't have said what I said. I was wrong for that." Ellie sighed. "But I never said I didn't want to date you."

"Ellie, it might have taken me a while but I'm not an idiot. I get all dressed up so you'll look at me. I curl my hair hoping you'd run your fingers through it. I wear lipstick hoping I'll smudge it against your lips. I loved you and you never even looked at me twice." You sighed and stepped closer to Ellie. "You made me doubt my worth."

"Why would I need to look twice?" Ellie asked, a disbelieving laugh on her lips. She stepped closer to you, tilting her head and looking you over from head to toe. "I never looked away the first time."

"Oh."

Oh.

You swallowed nervously when she stepped closer, her hand landing on your hip softly to pull you the final step closer. You looked down at her hand and back up to her eyes. She was watching you, watching your reaction.

"I was trying to be better. Men look at you like they own you. People treat your beauty like it's theirs to take. I wanted to be better." She explained, barely a whisper. "I wanted you to know I liked you despite how tight your jeans were and how short your skirts were."

"How noble of you." You tried for sarcasm but it fell flat. "You could've just explained."

"I could've. Every time I tried I just sounded like an asshole." She shrugged and you swallowed, your mouth and throat dry. She was leaning in when you stepped back.

"I'm high. We shouldn't kiss like this." You whispered and Ellie nodded. She lifted a hand, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear with a small smile. "But I do wanna kiss you."

"How about you come find me when you're sober then?" She asked and you nodded, leaning into her hand. "We'll see about smudging some of that lipstick."

///

"Heading out, don't know when I'll be back." You yelled, hopping around to pull your boots on at the front door. You weren't quick enough and Dina leaned against the frame of the living room door, looking you over.

"You look hot," Dina observed and you nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror by the door. "Where are you headed?"

"Momma wouldn't ask me that, bless her soul." You huffed a laugh and swung your bag over your shoulder. "You and Jesse have manners while I'm gone, ya hear me?"

"You didn't answer the question!" Dina yelled and you opened the door, turning to look at her over your shoulder. "Where're you going?"

"Out, don't wait up, Mom." You called hurrying down the porch steps and getting away from her invasive questions. She knew where you were going. She had to. Ellie had been allowed back into the house and the pair of you were dancing around each other all week.

Ellie opened the garage door the second you knocked and you smiled brightly at her as you passed by her to get inside. You had been in Ellie's garage more times than you could count but you had never seen it so tidy.

"You clean up just for me?" You asked her as you dropped your bag by the end of her sofa. She rolled her eyes and shut the door but you could see the blush on her cheeks. She was embarrassed and it was oddly sweet.

"You dress up just for me?" Ellie asked, eyebrows raised. You on the other hand were prepared for her question. You nodded and held your arms out, a slow twirl just for her. You had no doubt she was getting the best view. "Damn, Princess.”

“It’s nice to have you appreciating me for once.” You hummed, finishing your twirl and leaning back against the arm of her sofa. “Make sure you get a good look.”

“For once?” She asked as she stepped away from the door and towards you. You only pursed your lips to hide your smile. “I once fell off Shimmer cause I was too busy staring at your ass.”

“You said your stirrup snapped!” You laughed in delight. She only rolled her eyes as she stepped closer. You spread your legs so that she could stand between them. “Tell me more.”

“That black eye I had two months back?” She asked and you nodded. “The door of the diner swung back and hit me because you had that tied off blouse on.”

“You liked that one?” You asked with a grin and she nodded, her hand coming to rest on the bare skin on your waist between your shorts and your top. “What about this one?”

It was a ribbed camisole that you had tucked up to leave your navel on display. Ellie took care to run her thumb under the fabric of it and let her hand slide from your waist across your stomach. She tapped her finger on the button of your shorts.

“Embroider these yourself?” She asked and you nodded in excitement, your fingers tracing down over the star embroidery.

“My momma thought me. And I have this book that helps with anything she didn’t get to teach me. It’s actually not so bad. And it’s a real constellation its-”

“Cassiopeia.” Ellie finished for you, her fingers following your path and tracing the familiar constellation. “I had a bit of a space thing for a while. Wanted to be an astronaut.”

“My momma found this Barbie doll for me once. It was Astronaut Barbie. She had this pink suit and she was so pretty and I knew if she was pretty and smart then I could be too.” Your voice grew quiet at the end and Ellie laughed, her crooked finger lifting your chin.

“That’s real cute, baby.” She teased and you chewed on your bottom lip. “So now you’re the prettiest girl in Jackson and the best damn tracker I’ve ever seen.”

“Prettiest girl?” You asked, an eyebrow raised. Ellie rolled her eyes and instead of giving in to you fishing for compliments she leaned in and kissed you.

It was only a sweet press of lips, innocent compared to what you had expected. Ellie pulled away only to press a trail of kisses down to your jaw and then followed the bone up to your ear.

“Now we can do one of two things.” She whispered, her teeth nipping at your ear lobe. “We can put on a movie, cuddle under a blanket and make out.”

“What’s my other option?” You asked, your breath hitching as she kissed down the side of your neck. Still just innocent pressed of her lips.

“I take off these pretty little shorts and I fuck you dumb.” Your whole body trembled as she spoke against your collar bone. “Oh you like that idea.”

///

“Please, please.” You’re sobbing at this point, your fingers tangled in Ellie’s hair. She’s been eating you out to the point of two orgasms and she’s only just pushing a finger into you now. “Ellie, please.”

“Please what?” Ellie asks innocently. You look down at her, releasing your death grip of her hair and she looks up at you. Her chin is shiny with you and she licks her lips as you watch. Your head thumps back against her pillows. “Use your words, I haven’t fucked you yet. You can’t be this dumb just from my finger and tongue.”

“Fuck me.” You moaned as she added a second finger. “Need you to fuck me.”

Ellie, never being one to be unprepared, had surprised you. While getting undressed you had found Ellie wearing a strap and it had sped up the whole process of getting clothes off.

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’re ready for my cock, baby.” She hums and you groan, your pussy tightening around her fingers. “Maybe another finger?”

“Ellie, babe, your cock, please. Please.” You were crying actual tears and begging without shame for her. You had wanted it in your since you had found it on her and you were so frustrated you had resorted to tears.

“Oh there’s my big dumb baby.” Ellie teased, withdrawing her fingers. You looked down at her and she was spreading your slick over the head of her cock. “Awh, is my baby crying? Your pussy so needy for my cock that it brought you to tears, huh?”

You could only nod, sniffling. She took your chin between her thumb and finger and tilted your head down so you could watch her cock press into you. “Fucking yes!”

“That feel good?” Ellie asked and you sobbed, pushing down against her slow place. “You gonna fuck yourself on my dick baby? Gonna do all the work?”

“Please. I can. I can ride you.” You offered but Ellie only shook her head.

“Not the first time. I’m gonna fuck you just like this for the first time. Then I’m gonna fuck you in every position you can contort this pretty body into. It’s gonna be a long night baby.” Ellie warned and your eyes rolled back in your head as your third orgasm overtook you.

///

Ellie was lying on her back, one arm behind her head and the other wrapped around you where you lay on her shoulder. She was tracing patterns against your spine and you were trying to guess the patterns but your brain was floating way above your body.

“I like when you dress up. I like how confident you are and how bright you smile when I like what you’re wearing.” Ellie told you quietly. “But like this? Sleepy and a mess. Well I just know I fell in love with that version of you, the morning we argued.”

“Fell in love?” You asked her, your thoughts coming back down to earth. You looked up at her, a slight tilt of your head but she didn’t look at you. “You’re in love with me?”

“How couldn’t I be, baby? A sweet little dumb baby in bed and smart, gorgeous woman who’s a force unto her own out on the streets of Jackson. You don’t make it hard to love you.” She promised, pushing you hair behind your ear.

“You already know I love you too. Even if you do bully me in bed.” You giggled and she grinned at you. “It’s kind of hot actually.”

“Hmm, we’ll explore that another time, get some sleep.” She whispered, ducking down to kiss your forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[selineram3421]

*giggles like a psycho*

First Day

Part 2

Part 1

Alastor and Child Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ children (lol), reader being a menace ☺, blood/gore, ALL CAPS Bold red Italics = SOUND AFFECTS, red italics= Alastor's thoughts, fake crying, food mention(desserts), mention of murder, mention of kidnapping, mention of torture, murder of test demon ⚠

You saw the school bus and it was filled with shouts and screeches of other demon children. Making sure you of the item in your pocket, you readied yourself to begin the plan.

Stage one: Have some control over the school bus.

The door opened and you hop up the steps, the screams even louder now that you were inside.

It was absolutely unhinged.

I can do better. You thought, taking a quick glance to find a seat.

"Hurry up and sit down brat.", the bus driver yelled.

"Quiet before I cut you open.", you said to them without missing a beat and walked towards the back of the bus.

You were calm as the other children were acting like drug addicts.

One was bold enough to try and trip you with their leg out. Looking at them, you see that they have a cocky grin.

"Can you please move your leg? Its in the way.", you ask.

"No. Just go over it.", they laughed.

With a shrug you do just that, they try and lift their leg up higher to trip you but you jump at the last second and aim for their knee.

SNAP

They scream like bloody murder as they cry, grabbing the attention of the other children. All eyes are on you and the broken leg that's spewing out blood.

"I did ask nicely.", you say before continuing on your way to the open seat in the back.

Finally, you arrive at the school and find your classroom, now you were standing next to the teacher as your new classmates make a mess with paper planes and other items.

"Everyone SHUT UP! This is the new student.", the teacher Ms. Mayberry introduces you to the class. "Go on and say hello, then take the empty seat over in the middle."

You nod and smile as you face the children.

"Don't cross me or you might end up like Mikey!", you say cheerfully and go sit down.

Stage two: Assert dominance and be kind to those who are kind to you. *weed out any snakes*

.

Alastor got ready to pick up his little demon.

I wonder if they had fun. He thought before leaving the hotel.

On his way over, he picked up some pastries from their favorite bakery. Now the Radio Demon was just a few feet away from the gate that had a few lingering children, that's where he saw his little one waiting with the teacher who was smoking.

They spotted him and lit up.

"Alastor!", they cheered before running up.

The teacher had backed up a bit after noticing who he was.

"Good afternoon mon petite!", he said and picked them up. "Did you have a good time? Hm? Were there any pests?"

"I took care of it! But all of them went home alive.", they replied as he began walking back to the hotel. "Bye Ms. Mayberry!", they waved to their teacher.

They had started to tell him what happened on the school bus as they got closer to the hotel, that is when the deer demon reminded them to look sad.

"I don't think I can keep a straight face but I can still cry like I'm sad.", the little demon said. "I know what to do."

They hid their face on his shoulder and started shaking their shoulders, making convincing sniffles and sobs.

Alastor opened the hotel doors, finding the princess and her partner, one of them holding a cupcake.

"Oh no, what happened?", Charlie asked after noticing the little demon's shaking shoulders.

"There was a bully that harassed them today.", he answered and made his way over to the stairs, lifting up the bakery box. "I've already bought them sweets to cheer them up but you can leave the cupcake for dessert after dinner."

Once in the hotel room, he sets them down and put the box of sweets on the small table near the door.

"Wash your hands before getting your sweets.", he says before helping them take off their school bag.

"Ok!", they nod and run over to the bathroom.

Taking the box, the demon in red snaps his fingers to conjure some plates on the coffee table. He sets up the table before putting the pastries on the plates. Making sure to get their favorite cup for their drink.

They went to their room before coming back out with no coat and taking a seat on the couch.

"Now, tell me all about your day.", he said giving them a plate with a slice of cranberry pomegranate curd tart. "What kind of drink would you like with your sweets?"

They ask for their favorite drink and proceed to tell him about what happened after the "tripping" incident.

The deer demon prepares a cup of coffee while getting their drink.

"Some of the kids tried to act tough and pick a fight with me during reeses. The supervisors don't care if there's a fight as long as no one gets killed.", they said before taking a bite of the tart. "I broke a lot of bones today.", they add.

"Don't speak while chewing dear.", Alastor hands them a napkin, placing their cup next to their plate before sitting down.

They go into detail of all the injuries they caused with a wide smile. Telling him that they want to learn more tactics of intimidation to scare some of the staff.

"Finish your homework and I'll take you out so you can have hands on experience.", he says and sips his coffee.

"Really!?", they ask excited.

"Of course! Its the best way to learn."

After dinner (and their desert), they headed out and found a demon to test on.

"The best way to intimidate someone is through fear. Give them something that will always remind others not to try anything. Breaking the boy's leg was good, but remember that it is on school grounds that you cannot kill.", he says as both of them watch the test demon scream as they are being taken apart limb by limb. "Of course you have my permission to kill anyone that tries to kill or kidnap you. Or other terrible things.."

"Can I torture them a little bit?", they ask.

"Yes, but don't let your guard down.", the Radio Demon says, using the tendrils to rip the test demon's head off. "Remember mon petite, prey can bite back."

On the way back to the hotel, he got them a new plush, a small mouse to attach to their school bag.

"Mr. Squeaks."

Tehe.

~Seline, the person.

Extra: Dessert image

Extra EXTRA: Art

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @kiraisastay @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @scary-noodlesblog @naelys-the-aster @ducky-died-inside @biromanticboba @roo-bi @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[wibben]

Hanamichi

A life measured in flowers. All of the times in his life in which Nanami received a flower.

↳ warnings: angst, major character death

↳ wc: 3,730

↳ notes: this was a collab with @tsukimefuku over what began as a silly (sad -- very sad) head canon. major credit and props to her, because without her this wouldn't exist! i had a lovely time writing this with you, and i hope we can do it again in the future!

Nanami remembered his mother’s hands, dirt under her fingernails, patient as the earth. Her garden was her temple; she greeted each flower by name, whispered as though they were children needing to be calmed. Nanami, young and fresh-eyed, watched her closely. A solemn boy with hands too small to grasp his mother’s tools, was her loyal shadow. His duty was the simple work – pulling weeds, patting down the dark soil, setting down the watering can at her nod. And when the sun hung high and the garden wore its colors proudly, his mother would offer him a single flower. "One for yourself," she’d say with a wide smile, tucking a loose curl behind her ear beneath the shrouded brim of a drooping sunhat. She’d let him choose – the reddest rose, the brightest marigold, whatever his young eyes fancied. He would carry it like a treasure back to his room, setting it with great care in a glass half-filled with water. One for him, one to keep. For a day or two, the bloom would brighten his room. He would admire it with the quiet devotion of a soul older than his had any right to be. But soon, its edges would curl, its stem would bend, and by the week’s end, it was a crumpled shadow of itself. He watched this with an unspoken sadness, something about it hurt in a way he didn’t quite understand. After a while, he stopped picking the flowers, even when his mother offered. He wanted them to stay as he saw them – in full bloom, untouched. “Why not take one?” she’d ask, her voice as gentle as the soil beneath her hands. But he’d shake his head, glancing out at the garden as though trying to memorize it all in a single look. “They’re prettier here,” he’d murmur, his voice almost too quiet to hear. And his mother would smile, ruffling soft blonde hair with those same earthy hands with a mothers pride; a lesson imparted that sometimes the things you love should be left alone, because love, in its purest form of brilliant colors and sunny smiles and dirty hands, is not about possession, but appreciation. 

******* ***

Nanami wasn’t one for friendships, nor for the loud, messy camaraderie of his classmates. He was the quiet observer, the one whose presence was easy to overlook until you needed a clear answer or a steady hand. Haibara Yu, on the other hand, was the kind of boy who made himself known in every room – friendly, loud, with an irrepressible grin and the easy charm that pulled everyone into his orbit. Haibara was the type who could wander into a stranger’s conversation and be welcomed before he’d even said his name. He would find beauty in the ordinary – a bent blade of grass, an overripe pear, fallen blossoms trodden underfoot – and he gave freely, tossing these pieces of his joy like candy. And somehow, this boy, more golden-retriever than man, became his best friend. During the brief weeks of cherry blossom season, petals blanketed the schoolyard, caught in the breeze, drifting like snow. Haibara would gather them by the handful, tossing them to anyone nearby enough to receive them; like they were something precious, and not just seasonal tree-litter. Nanami found himself on the receiving end of Haibara’s antics more often than not. One particular afternoon, Nanami was deep in a book, crouched against the wall beneath the shade of a tree, when he felt a tug at his collar. Haibara tucked a blossom behind his ear. “Perfect,” he announced, stepping back with a look of proud mischief. “Gotta add a little color to your life, Nanami! Look how pretty!” Nanami had grumbled, brushing the petal from his hair, but Haibara’s smile was contagious. Against his will, he found himself smiling, too, at the absurdity of it all. And despite his protests, he let Haibara continue – tucking flowers into his hair, hiding them in his hood, filling his pockets with petals until they spilled onto the floor. He would humor him, because he knew how deeply Haibara loved every moment of living, and how little he asked in return.

And then, the worst outcome to what should've been just a regular Tuesday happened.

There were no flowers in there. That was the first thought that seeped its way into Nanami's mind as he gazed down at Haibara's covered up body in the morgue, bloodshot eyes prickling with the pain from the day prior. No flowers, only the blossoming petals of coagulated blood that had stained the thin fabric separating what was once someone bigger than life and the harsh reality of their permanent absence.

The stark contrast between the shiny, cold, hard steel over every surface in that room left no space for the green, the pink, the yellow, the resplendent warmth of life that was alien to this mortuary monolith of death. And then, just as grief had dug its teeth around his chest, Nanami came to realize what could only be considered as some sort of self-inflicted torture.

I never gave him any flowers.

The cherry blossoms Haibara had fashioned in his hair, his clothes, all around him on that one sweet, sunny day – it had all stayed with Nanami, the memory of a beautiful moment shared with his closest person now tarnished by the weight of this painful realization. 

Was this it? Did Nanami fail his best friend so spectacularly that the first flowers he'd ever give to Haibara, someone who flourished in everyone's life, would be at his funeral? 

Was this the future reserved for the likes of him and Haibara? The beauty and tenderness of petals only reserved for when it was too little, too late?

It was only after Haibara was killed, a mission so routine that all were left reeling, that the memories stung, sharp as thorns. Sometimes, on nights thick with silence that should’ve been filled with crinkling snack bags and loud laughter well past quiet hours, Nanami would find a blossom pressed between the pages of a book Haibara had borrowed. A reminder, pink as a bleeding bruise, pinned within Nanami’s careful pages. A beautiful life, snipped with violent sheers from the garden – a blossom he’d only started to fully appreciate as its edges were already curdled with decay.

******* ***

There was a dim, unchanging silence in Nanami’s life after Haibara’s death – a grayness that blanketed every hour, every inch of his thoughts; what was a garden without a sun to feed it? It was easier to let himself drift, as though by keeping his mind empty, he might somehow avoid feeling anything at all. And in that space, Nanami found a kind of grim peace. Silence, to him, was a balm. But Gojo Satoru wouldn’t let him have it. Gojo was all brightness and noise, a sharp, irrepressible force that never leashed itself to restraint. He would show up unannounced, talk too much and too loudly, filling Nanami’s presence with his voice. And if Gojo noticed Nanami’s lack of response, he gave no indication – because Gojo Satoru was not something so trivial as the sun, he was a supernova, too brilliant to look upon. On a late afternoon, Nanami retreated to the yard – a place he’d once found calm – when Gojo appeared, holding a bundle of cherry blossoms. He approached with that signature grin, holding the flowers out as though they were some grand token of kindness, something Nanami should be grateful for. “Spring,” Gojo announced, his tone far too cheery, as though the world had every reason to celebrate. “Pretty, right?” Nanami stared at the flowers, his expression blank. The blooms looked too pink, too delicate, too flowery, too perfect. A perfect mockery of what they once meant. He took one sharp breath, feeling the tightness in his chest harden to something cold.

“Take them,” Gojo insisted, practically shoving the blossoms into Nanami’s hand. He didn’t so much as glance down. Instead, he let his hand fall, releasing the flowers without a word. They drifted to the ground, the petals scattering in a small, meaningless heap. Nanami looked away, his gaze fixed somewhere over Gojo’s shoulder, anywhere but at the person who was trying, too hard and without reason, to intrude on his grief.

“Not in the mood. Got it!” Gojo grinned. But Nanami only turned on his heel, walking away without so much as a nod. If Gojo wanted a reaction, he’d get none from him. He felt a grim satisfaction at his refusal, a confirmation that he could still draw a line when he existed in straight lines and statistics and rationality and ratios. Gojo’s flowers, now scattered and forgotten, lay where he had dropped them, as if they’d never held any meaning at all. Because there was no room for flowers in Nanami Kento’s life. They were too fragile, their supple flesh bruised too easily by the fingers of the cruel or the careless. It mattered not if he left the flower to grow in the garden, because for all the care and appreciation he could show it, it would die.

They always did.

******* ***

Nanami Kento grew up, and became a man of small routines and quiet convictions. He was disciplined and solitary, spending his days in a precise pattern of obligations: work, study, sleep, and repeat. He ate alone, walked the same routes, and carried a silence that made most people feel comfortable leaving him well enough alone. Each Monday, he went to the florist down the street from his apartment. It was a small, unremarkable shop, the kind you might pass without a second thought with sun-stained and yellowed windows and old cracked tile. Inside, the flowers were modest – no grand arrangements, no bouquets meant to wow. But every week, Nanami would stand there, studying each bunch with the seriousness he usually reserved for work. As cyclical and predictable as his mundane habits, the flowers were a commitment, something to return to at the end of each day, a small reminder that he had at least one reason to make it home. A cautionary measure of sorts, in case he faltered in his unyielding resolution to keep at his ordinary routine with his ordinary, reliable little comforts. 

They required almost nothing of him – just a fresh glass of water each morning and a moment to discard the wilting petals when they’d had their time. In return, they filled a small corner of his apartment with something bright and alive. A much needed reminder in his line of work. Once, an old colleague had asked him why he didn’t get a pet. “Seems like you could use the company,” they’d said offhand. But he had only shaken his head. A pet would require too much. They grew attached, they needed more than just water and sun – they required presence, a resource Nanami could not afford to offer, not to anyone or anything. If he died, which he viewed as inevitable, it would be left alone, a burden passed along to someone else. No, Nanami couldn't. He wouldn't.

Flowers were different. Their impermanence suited him. They were not expecting a tomorrow, and in that way, they were a comfort he could manage. Aware of his position as a jujutsu sorcerer, clearly to a fault, he'd rather not impose his absence onto another living being, and treat himself like something just as ephemeral as the petals he'd let wither every week in that quiet, little corner of his life. The flowers were not from anyone, not a gift, not a gesture of pity. They were something he gave himself, a small reminder that, perhaps, he deserved to see beauty in his own life, too. They were a nod to survival, to making it through each Monday, then Tuesday, and on and on. He’d place them in the same glass vase, set them on the same narrow ledge near his kitchen window, and allow himself a brief moment to admire the color they brought to the room. And when he returned each evening, the sight of them gave him a small, steady reason to stop, to take a breath, to continue forward. Because as much as he liked to think he was untouched by the world around him, he knew better than to believe he was anything more than mortal. And mortality, as it did for all things, would catch up with him. Nanami honed his life to a blade, sharp and solitary. He worked until the ache in his bones became as familiar as his breath, until each day bled into the next in a march toward the inevitable conclusion he would not name.

******* ***

Mahito’s touch was fire and rot. A thousand memories converged: his mother’s garden, flowers he dared not pick; Haibara’s petals, scattered across his shoulders; Gojo’s blossoms, unappreciated then, but stinging now with the ache of regret left trampled in the dirt. In the blackened periphery of his vision, those flowers now floated, eerie, fragile momentos against the creeping dark in his eyes – or eye, he thinks he has only one now. They reached out in a sea of pale blooms to guide him, open arms to welcome him home. Haibara stood just ahead, haloed in light, and Nanami couldn’t even begin to think that strange. He knew he would be there. The boys smile was as steady as it was in life, unbroken, as though death had granted him nothing but peace. He felt the ache of it most sharply, shuddering through his bloody and broken body. His old friends face like springtime, unspoiled and untouched by the brutal, shrieking world they’d been born into. He need only step forward, to sink, to fall – the cold hand caressing between his shoulder blades would shepherd him to death. But footsteps came echoing down linoleum, pulling him back as he teetered on the razors edge. Yuji. Peach-pink, a small brightness against his vision that grows darker with every cold breath. A flower himself, hopeful and stubborn, rising from the barren soil of their world. His face was desperate, broken in the way his name cracked and fell hollow from his lips with trembling hands that wilted limp to his sides. Nanami’s heart twisted; he’d known this moment would come, that the end had been creeping up behind him all this time. He feared Yuji’s grief, what it could become and what it could do, the way this scene would imprint itself deep in the boy’s memory, sinking roots that might never let go. But in Yuji’s gaze, even beneath flat horror and despair, he saw it – the strength he’d searched for his whole life, something soft and resilient. Yuji was as fragile and as enduring as a wildflower, something untouched and tenacious, able to withstand the bitterest of winds and the worst of natures cruelty. Nanami saw it clearly: Yuji would grow, rise from ruin, bright and alive. He would persist. The edges of his world blurred, discordant shapes curling in the melting pot of his eye, and with a last, soft breath and his best attempt at a smile, Nanami gave what faith he had left. “You’ve got it from here.”

******* ***

The quietude solemnly prevailed over the debris and decay of Shinjuku, and for a fleeting moment, Gojo thought of the irony, how come such chaos left in its wake this indelible absence of sound? No birds chirped in the morning, nor any other animals dared to venture through the battle-scarred surroundings, no man's land for those who insisted on staying behind to fight the King of Curses. 

The silence that laid there laid bare in mourning for the losses.

Gojo gazed out the window as the gray sun set behind a curtain of gray clouds cast over the gray skyline, torn-down buildings scattered all over the gray terrain and pillaged wreckage. The air itself weaved flecks of soot and inhospitality, and it had been days since he saw a murmur of life dredging its way through the barren landscape — a small humming bird, that fleetingly passed its way outside their makeshift bunker before disappearing just as fast as it had come.

In this prevalent, overwhelming absence of green, the best he could haphazardly improvise was poaching a plastic flower from one of the many florals centerpieces on sale in an abandoned, ransacked store around the area. That, and a single incense, with a simple, small, black square incense holder.

Over the windowsill, the sorcerer placed one single faux white rose, the edges of its petals frail and frazzled under dust blemishes. Beside it, Gojo positioned the holder with a simple byakudan incense propped up by the holder's snug. It stood proudly, even if ideally, Gojo would've preferred to spare the right amount of incenses, time, effort, and flowers to hold a proper otsuya in honor of his fallen friend. The incense's smoke snaked and swirled in the air in a lonely stream, and just as Gojo himself, the solitude of the moment he held away from his students and colleagues ensured him once more.

We all die alone. Just like Nanami did.

Joining both his hands in front of his chest in a prayer, Gojo surrendered his six eyes to the quiet, closing his eyelids, regarding the silence for a moment with careful consideration, a small gesture of affection he spared for those he truly cared about. He wondered, caught up in thoughts, if he should indeed chant a sutra in the ratio sorcerer's honor, and as a trick of his imagination bringing forth the amalgam of impressions and memories ingrained in his mind, Gojo could hear the faint ghost of Nanami's voice. He could hear in the measured, precise beats of his usual nonchalant tone how unnecessary that was, and that Gojo, as the strongest, should waste no precious time in other endeavors that weren't dedicated to slay the evil which had brought destruction over Japan. And he heard, just as faintly, that same voice recede quietly in empathetic acceptance of his irrational need to honor a departed colleague.

For all his methodical regard over human matters, Nanami was inexorably kind at heart, clearly to a fault.

Clearly to death. 

"Gojo sensei?" a minute whisper cut through the somber silence, and Gojo turned around to look at the two who stepped into his solitary funeral rite. Yuji and Ino stood in the doorway, gazing at him and then at the makeshift, simple altar he had concocted with those few looted items. Upon realizing what Gojo was probably doing, Yuji apologized, and explained, "we were looking for you. We didn't mean to intrude."

"It's alright," Gojo replied, his usual smile forming over his face as a force of habit for his students’ benefit.

Ino regarded the scene in front of him attentively, remembering that earlier, on that very same day, Gojo had finally learned about Nanami's death during the Shibuya incident. Thoughtfully, he inquired, "is this an otsuya for Nanami?"

Gojo was slightly surprised, but not from the keen observation skills of Ino – after all, he was his mentee, Nanami's mentee. Gojo just didn't have in mind he'd find himself in this very scenario, even in all likelihood of that happening. 

"Yes, yes it is," he conceded.

"I'd like to pay my respects too," Yuji stated, stepping forward towards his teacher, "if that would be okay."

"Me too," Ino followed, approaching them both with measured steps. He briefly noticed the unkempt state of the rose Gojo had put as an offering on the windowsill, and it crossed his mind with a stinging amusement how much Nanami would be equal parts offended and grateful for this thoughtful gesture done in such a haphazard manner, even if he probably would only voice the former. Funerals, after all, were impractical. They served as vehicles of grief for the living, not the dead who had long since been shepherded along past whichever mortal veil awaited them. And in this desolate land of ruin and war, where grief hung heavy and pressed bowed heads all the lower, there was still beauty to be found in this small act of rebellion against death. A kind of garden bloomed in that space – not one of petals or green things, but the connections left behind, roots that dug deep, holding fast even in barren soil. A garden of the heart, built on friendship, quiet appreciation, and the stubborn will to live and remember. 

And in that sacred silence, Nanami would have clapped Ino on the back in the way he never did in life, a chuckle in his throat as he chided him with a quiet, “real men cry, Ino.” Ino’s jaw trembled, his hands tight at his sides, a breath held in with solemn determination not to let tears fall. Nanami might have approved, or perhaps he’d have nudged him closer to grief with a final, gentle insistence: some burdens were meant to be shared.

Yuji stood apart, eyes wide and carrying grief in the fragile way of youth. Nanami would watch with a quiet ache, recognizing that herculean weight Yuji bore, a burden he’d taken on willingly but never asked for. In Yuji, Nanami saw an echo of his younger self – a boy carrying the burdens meant for a man, each step of the path cobbled by the failure of the adults around him. Perhaps, in another life, he might have been there to guide him further, to offer the steady strength of a fathers hand. But here, from this distance, he could only hope that Yuji knew: he had done enough.

At Gojo’s side, Nanami would have stood without a word, a silent presence where no more needed to be said. He’d never dared it in life, never felt it his right to stand beside a man who seemed less human than some cosmic force. But here, in death, he allowed himself to be steady and still, a quiet echo of companionship he never afforded himself. And as Gojo’s eyes slid sideways, a faint, knowing flicker, Nanami wondered if he knew.

In the end, Nanami had left little behind, yet these three, brighter than any flower, were a bouquet of all he’d valued. An oasis, growing fast even in the shadowed, broken heart of Shinjuku. The smoke drifted higher, and somewhere beyond it all, Nanami stood watch, as those three blossoms remained forever in full bloom.

[hopefulidiocy]

Stolen Glances

Professor Lupin x femstudent!reader

warnings: v suggestive, swearing, smoking, lots of fluff, adorable best friend, not proof read, I’m tired.

word count: 3k

i do not own any Harry Potter characters apart from my own :)

content: you struggle with your fear and lupin provides tutoring lessons for you. both of you develop feelings for each other. your best friend is the best person ever.

⛅️I recommend listening to “Dandelions” by Ruth B whilst reading this⛅️

As usual, Kings Cross was busy, bustling children hugging their crying mothers and trying to carry heavy suitcases onto the ledge of the train, taking one last look at their parents before they disappear into carriages. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N walked behind you, both dressed in their finery; both looking smart as they hugged you close. You breathed in their scent, you reminded yourself that your parents will never change and they will always be there for you. After being home for such a long time in the muggle world, it’s always been hard for you to part from your parents. It’s your last year, this is the time to properly grow up so you sniff in the tears, looking up into your mothers emerald eyes and see hers glossing over and your father ruffles your hair before you leave them to go inside the train.

As you take the long walk towards the Slytherin compartment you bump into a hard chest, your head straight into the sternum as you stumble back two warm hands grab your elbows.

“Careful there.” He said warmly, letting go of you. You rub the middle of your forehead and look up to see kind, hazel eyes looking down at you with a scar that spreads across his forehead.

“Thanks, Mr…”

“Professor Lupin.” He smiles and holds out his hand, you stare at it, perplexed at what to do so you just look at him confused. “This is the part where you shake my hand so I’m not left humiliated.” You breathe out a laugh and the creases at the sides of his eyes break out as he smiles softly, you clasp your manicured hand into his and it wraps around yours.

“Nice to meet you, Professor Lupin.” You say, smiling and he smiles back and nods before moving past you. For some reason unknown, you watch as he moves further down the train, his posture is slightly stooped like he’s in pain.

“Y/N!” Your best friend, Cyndi, calls from the back of the train, waving her arms like a madwoman. You turn and smile, your heart warming at the sight of your best friend. The girl who has had your back since first year, her long black hair is wrapped in a Dutch braid as she embraces you when you reach her. She kisses your cheeks with those bright red lips, something she picked up last year when she went to France and never gave it up. You sit next to her and a couple other seven years that you know but wouldn’t call friends. A strange smell wafts from the other side of the cabin, you turn to see Malfoy and his gremlins sharing a small bag of something.

“What is it?” You question loudly, the train rocks into motion.

“Muggle weed.” Malfoy winks and holds it up between his index and middle finger. “It’s meant you make you feel good.” Being a muggle, you knew about weed but had never tried it. You watched as they conjured up spells to make the weed into joints, lighting them up with their wands and slotting them between their lips.

“Hey, i want to try!” Cyndi raises her hand like she’s in lesson, waving her fingers like a child. Malfoy approaches and places the joint in her fingers. “What do I do with it?” She looks at it perplexed.

“Between your lips and inhale it.” Malfoy advises, watching intensely. Cyndi takes the butt and puts it in her mouth, her eyes incredibly focused on inhaling it. Once she does, she splutters and the smoke rolls out of her nose and mouth as she slams her water bottle down her throat. “That tends to happen.” Malfoy laughs. “Try again.” Cyndi picks it up and she’s better at it this time, taking more three more puffs before giving it back.

“Wow.” She sighs, relaxing into the seat. “That’s fucking good.” Her eyes flutter shut and you settle in for the long journey ahead.

After a few puffs from the joint yourself and eating chocolate frogs, the train screeches to a halt, sending everything astray. Students look outside the window, Cyndi with bloodshot eyes reaches her hand up to the window and it starts icing over. Her hand shoots back, she cradles it and looks up.

“Did I do that?” She asks, her voice nothing but a breath. “How did I do that?” She looks at her hands as if she’s never had them before. You are quite high yourself now and you know this isn’t normal, this isn’t something you’re hallucinating because a dark figure floats into the cabin. Malfoy screams and ducks under his seat, quivering as it escapes down the train aisles and opens one compartment.

“What the fuck was that?” Malfoy squeals, popping his head out from his hiding place.

“I’m gonna go see.” You say, suddenly confident. You jump out of your seat but Cyndi clasps your hand.

“Be careful.” She says, still whispering. You nod and squeeze her hand. Stumbling into the train aisles, you hold out your hands on either side and slowly creep towards the open compartment and see Professor Lupin standing tall with his wand out. The black figure escapes and leaves the train, you look to see the golden trio all stunned and you fear you may have completely hallucinated this situation because they’re looking right at you. You stare with an open mouth, your mouth suddenly dry and you try to smack it together to gather some moisture. They’re still until you blink and Hermione is talking to you. But do you hear a thing? No.

She waves her hands in your face and you’re snapped back into reality, they’re staring at you as Hermione asks.

“Hey, are you okay?” She pulls you into the compartment, Harry is out cold on the seat.

“Yeah… did you see that?” You ask, your speech slightly muffled in your own ears.

“Yeah, it was a dementor. Nothing to worry about.” Hermione smiles. You’ve always thought she was kind and Malfoy was too cruel to them, Hermione has always been your favourite one though. Ron stresses you out and Harry is simply way too worshipped in the school.

“You don’t look good.” Ron says matter of factly.

“Ronald!” Hermione smacks him on the arm, which is loudly exclaims at. “Do you need some water?” She pulls out her water bottle and you grab it like a dying camel in the desert, you chug that water until there’s nothing but a drop left.

“Holy Cow.” Ron says under his breath. Suddenly you’re aware that there’s another person in this compartment, Professor Lupin who is sat mainly looking over Harry but his eyes settle on you. The pupils slightly widening.

“Are you quite alright?” He questions, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Yes!” You exclaim and then soften your voice. “Yeah, yeah, yeah totally totally fine.” It was obvious to them that you weren’t.

“Let me see you back to your compartment.” Professor Lupin stands and waits for you by the door, you thank Hermione for the water and apologise for using it all but she waves her hand, it’s like her to not really care about it. Professor Lupin allows you out first and follows behind.

“You should sober up before we get to Hogwarts.” He whispers, his tone vaguely humorous.

“How do you know?” You whipped around, eyes wide looking up at him. Goddamn, he’s tall. Your neck hurts just by looking at him.

“I can smell it.” He says, warmly. “Also your bloodshot eyes are a dead giveaway. Go, drink some water. I need to see to Mr Potter.” He watches you as you walk back into your Slytherin cabin. The second you’re in there, it’s a hot box and you know there’s no chance of getting sober from the amount of fumes that are currently flying through the air.

~

The halls are bustling with nervous energy as you and Cyndi walk arm in arm towards your first DADA class of the year. Cyndi has been talking about her recent romantic adventures with a hometown boy, she giggles as she describes the shape and length of his dick. The DADA classroom door is open and Professor Lupin is standing, greeting his new students with nods and smiles.

“Morning, Sir.” Cyndi sings as she breezes past him.

“Morning, Miss Ribbons.” He smiles and looks at you, his eyes slightly lighting as he watches you shyly smile at him and walk into the barren classroom devoid of any desks and chairs and stand by your friend. He clears his throat, walking through the middle of the crowd of kids before standing in front of them.

“Good morning, class! I am your new DADA teacher, Professor R. J Lupin. It is my pleasure to teach you this wonderful subject, i understand you have had a rather tumultuous experience with this class. I’m here to hopefully give you consistent guidance and support. My office is always open so if you need any help or simply a chat, I’m always around.” He sends a lovely smile towards everyone in the class, he looks in the eyes at everyone with elegance and moves to the wardrobe behind him.

“He’s kind of hot.” Cyndi whispers, you stifle a laugh and try to concentrate on the class but you notice the way he swans through the space with insight and obvious enjoyment over this subject. His mouth moves into a smile as he speaks, he waves his arms around like a music conductor and you watch as his soft eyes land on yours and he continues to speak. Both of you looking at each other, you maintain the eye contact, your heart somewhat swelling and beating a little faster before you blush and look down.

You think he didn’t notice but he did, he smiled at you and the way your plaited hair broke free from its braids and the blush that journeyed over your soft cheeks. He tried to cough, maybe to get you to look up again so he can see those curious eyes but you didn’t so he carried on with his class. Everyone lined up to practise the Riddikulus spell, Cyndi went first as always and her fear was cockroaches. She screamed at first, jumping back a couple of inches before shaking her head and saying.

“You got this, Cinders.” And she shouted Riddikulus and the coaches turned into dancing mice that sent everyone into chuckles.

“Wonderful! Yes! Brilliant!” Lupin laughed heartily. “Well done, Miss Ribbons! Next!”

You turn up as one of the last to do it because you simply didn’t want to see your fear, to let anyone know about your fear because it was taboo. You step cautiously to the front, Lupin’s expectantly looking at you, you imagine it. And there it was. The stake at first covered by a red curtain until it teasingly revealed itself, covered in your own blood and it spills onto the handle in perfect stripes. Your breath catches and your chest begins to cave, you drop your wand and place your head in your hands as you begin to breathe helplessly throughout the process but no amount of measured breaths would help you out because tears begin to spill as you imagine that fear coming fast before you. Professor Lupin steps in, his arms covering you and protecting you from the fear before he shouts the spell. The class was dead silent, some whispers but not many as they all look at you crying softly in your palms, no matter how many times you wipe them away they keep spilling and now your chest was hot with embarrassment and you turn to sprint out of the classroom. Leaving the classroom puzzled at your fear and your abandonment of the class.

You hear Cyndi’s steps behind you.

“Hey! Wait up!” She calls, her Mary Jane’s clipping on the stone floor as she tries her hardest to catch up to you but you’re too fast. You turn harshly into the Slytherin common rooms and collapse on the floor in a heap of anxiety and anguish. Cyndi comes across you finally and covers you with her arms, cradling you from side to side.

“It’s okay. It’s gone. It’s not here anymore.” She whispers soothingly. “It’s gone.” Of course, she’s the only one who knows of your condition and she has been the most supportive friend and confidant you’ve ever had. Most people keep you at arms length because they’re scared you will randomly turn on them and kill them, which is the common misconception. You had no want or need for human blood and human organs. You were simply born this way and your parents fought hard for you to not have those wants. They really did their best and you have them to thank that you’re not killing everyone left right and centre.

“Merlin, I didn’t expect to react that way.” You sniff, leaning your head against Cyndi’s chest.

“It’s okay, your feelings are valid. Anyone would react that way, I’d be worse, I reckon.” She laughs and pulls away from you, holding your head in her palms.

“We need to redo your make up, sexy girl.” She winks and drags you onto your feet, guiding you to your dorm. She reapplies your mascara and eyeliner and a lovely blush coloured lip gloss before you went to lunch. You skipped your second lesson.

Both of you sit side by side, mulling over the shit food that has been placed on your table.

“I mean you’d think they’d want to feed us properly on our first day back.” Angel said, Malfoy’s older sister, her hair was the usual bright blonde and her skin just the same. She reaches and pulls out some vegetables and plops them on her plate before using her fork to just mush them around instead of eat them.

“It is poor.” Cyndi agrees, reaching for the last chicken drumstick and chews on it softly. You fill your plate with a lemon and pepper chicken breast and some boiled, skinned potatoes and pick at them. You’re not too hungry after the emotional turmoil you’ve been through, it’s normal to feel like that. You try to eat and feel grateful that you’re feeding your body but it’s just too hard because every nibble, that stake comes back into your mind. Your mind runs wild and you see yourself with a stake shoved into your heart so hard it comes out from the other side. You sigh and throw your cutlery on your plate, sending a clatter down the table, Cyndi looks at you from under her eyelashes and smiles sympathetically.

Suddenly, you feel a pair of eyes on you. It’s a strange feeling because no one on the table is looking at you. So you search for the source of the feeling until you find those warm hazel eyes looking at you, you smile at him and he smiles back even though he looks concerned. You try to send a message to him through your eyes that you’re okay but it doesn’t seem to reach him because his eyes are full of concern.

~

A few weeks later and some stolen glances across a room, you are ready to pack up your belongings from DADA. Cyndi’s voice is running a thousand miles a second.

“Can you believe she even said that to me? I mean what a sad little cow, she doesn’t even know me. Okay, so what if I kissed her boyfriend? So what? He didn’t tell me so I’m basically the innocent party here.” She’s chatting and throws her backpack over her back. “Like she hit me! She actually hit me!” From the small snippets of the story you gathered, Cyndi had kissed Oliver Wood whilst he had a girlfriend in Ravenclaw called Leigh Carter who was a big bitch and everyone knew it. Yesterday, Leigh stormed over to Cyndi and pulled her into the middle of a Ravenclaw crowd and began to argue with her. Her arms waving around like an eagle catching its prey. When Cyndi bit back, Leigh didn’t know what else to do so she pulled her fist back and connected it with her face. A full fight ensued until Lupin and Snape intercepted.

“Miss L/N, can I have a word?” Lupin called as you began to walk towards the door. You turned around to see him leaning against his desk, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“You go ahead.” You nod at Cyndi, she shrugs and skips out, sending Leigh a death stare on her way past.

“What do you need, sir?” You ask, approaching him with hesitant steps. His eyes looming over you, delicate and tender as he steps down the stairs to his desk and stands straight in front of you. You think of yourself quite tall but you only reach his shoulders, you breathe slightly heavier as your eyes travel from his torso to his eyes. You take in his handsome face; full lips, rosy and warm; hazel eyes, eyelashes that curl upwards and eyelashes that curl downwards; his eyebrows are misshapen but it adds to his charm and you realise that this man is actually incredibly attractive. That little school girl crush that simmered in the pit of your stomach, that sprouted ever so briefly whenever you smiled at each other is not growing into something else entirely. The way he looks at you with concern and the way his eyes softly dilate at the sight of you, something you never really noticed until now.

“I would like to tutor you. Just us in this classroom every Monday night. Hopefully it will help you face your fears and strengthen your ability.” He says, his voice dropping to a low whisper. You blush and smile, a piece of hair dropping in front of your eyes and as you go to move it, he gets there first. “What do you say?” His fingers graze the shell of your ear as he tucks that hair piece, his eyes roaming your hair and the way it’s styled today.

“I - um - I would like that very much, sir.” You say, a whisper of a smile gracing your face.

“Good.” He whispers. “Good. I’m glad. You are showing a lot of promise for a good witch, Miss L/N.”

“Thank you, sir.” You are flattered.

“Now go get some lunch. I can hear that stomach of yours growling.” He chuckles and steps back, creating an aching distance between you and suddenly you miss the warmth of his breath and body near you. You say thank you and spin on your heel, playing with your necklace with nervous happiness and join your best friend at the table.

~

“You need to pull your skirt up.” Cyndi comments, standing by your bed with her arms crossed and eyes covered with expensive sunglasses.

“Pull it up? It’s already short!” You exclaim, looking in the mirror at your green plaid skirt that just grazes your knee.

“Not short enough, my friend!” She stomps forward, hooking her thumbs under the waist band and rolls it so your skirt ends up meeting your thighs. “There we go, that’s better.” She claps herself.

“That’s way too short!” You pout, but she waves away your concern.

“Go seduce our favourite teacher!” She basically pushes you sternly out the door. You try to turn back but Cyndi literally locked and bolted the door, you groan inwardly and turn to the dark corridor, your heart pattering aggressively against your rib cage as the soft breeze picks up your skirt. You twirl almost trying to keep the breeze from showing off your underwear, pink with little bows on them (embarrassing but it’s all you had left) and then the DADA classroom looks into view. You halt, your heels clipping echoes through the corridor as you try to find your reflection in one of the windows. Your braids falling on your shoulders, you smoothed them out trying to make them look less innocent but that won’t work. The skirt is hitched so far that you know you don’t have enough time to fully pull it down so you approach the door. By the time your hand balls into a fist to knock, it swings open with Lupin standing tall behind the doorframe. He’s wearing his teacher robes, bellowing behind him, his tie is slightly askew and a shirt button is undone on his neck; he steps back wordlessly to let you in and your skin prickles at where his eyes could be roaming but you bite back the worry and turn to face him. The classroom is bare, all desks and chairs pushed to the side and all that stays in the space is a wardrobe, it bangs hard as her eyes settle on it.

“No need to be scared, Miss L/N.” He chuckled, throwing his hands in his pockets. “It won’t come out unless you command it.”

“Yes, sir.” You say breathlessly as your hand retrieves your wand from your waist band.

“I understand this is something you’re struggling with, whilst you’re here with me, you are safe. I will intercede if I need too. But you are a good witch and I believe in you.” His words soothe your heart, it settles in its natural rhythm as his body comes close to yours, the swish of his robes lap on your calves as he rounds to the wardrobe. “It’s upsetting. But imagine it in your mind. That fear that stills your bones and stops your blood pumping. Imagine it for me.” His words sing into your ears as you close your eyes, your hand clutching onto your wand as if it’s your last chance at living. Your mind goes dark, nature washes in and your ears begin to burn as that age old red curtain glimmers under the crescent moon. A quiet, menacing chuckle comes into your orbit and its long, white hand brushes the curtain and reveals the stake. The tip cartoonishly glinting against the dark. Your breathing stops and your eyes open, the stake is there and it has a mind of its own. Lupin is watching you with intensity with his own hand on his wand, ready to take control. Your mouth opens but you don’t say anything, you can’t and a warmth covers your throat and you’re sure it’s your own blood. You look down and see the stake is settling inside your chest, Lupin runs into the center.

“Riddikulus!” He shouts and the stake turns into a balloon dog. Something so far fetched than the stake. Your breathing comes in raspy breaths, your nose whistling as you try to drown out the laughter in your head. Tears escape and they roll, beckoning other tears to follow, you crouch on the ground and sob into your hands.

“I can’t do it!” You cry and Lupin grabs your elbows and picks you up.

“Yes, you can. You are stronger than this. Come on!” His voice ignited something inside of you and you smiled, trying the image again. It hurt and it hurt and your heart was breaking but you continued and you tried, sadly to no avail.

“You’ve got time.” He holds onto your shoulders, smiling. “You’ve got so much time. You will get there.”

“Thank you, Professor.” You sniff, stepping back and smiling. He opened the door and let you out. Unfortunately, a gust of wind has flown through the door as you walked into the hallway and your skirt revealed everything. You spun around, your eyes wide as Lupin simply laughed.

“I saw nothing. Don’t worry.” He said. “Have a good night, Miss L/N.” He shut the door then.

You were going to kill Cyndi.

~

Professor Lupin had given you tutoring lessons for the past month and finally you’re starting to get the hang of the Riddikulus spell. Cyndi has noted the glow around you whenever you’re in DADA, you and Lupin secretly look at each other when the rest of the class are nose deep in books; but Cyndi noticed. Lupin’s eyes seemed to have a glint in them whenever you approached him, whenever you spoke, whenever you laughed and your laugh is the one that makes him look up from his eating position towards the Slytherin table. You’re throwing your head back as Miss Cyndi Ribbons is talking dramatically, throwing her arms around, Miss Angel Malfoy is wiping away tears and your laugh shimmers throughout the room, angelic noises that he wants to make come out of you. You wipe a stray tear and look up, matching eyes together and in the beginning Lupin would break the contact but this time he doesn’t. His heart flutters as you smile at him, he sends you a genuine lovely smile back and you’re the one to break the eye contact, going back to your friends. Cyndi looks above your head and sees Lupin looking at you with heart eyes.

“Lupin is undressing you with his eyes right now.” She whispers, amusement in her tone.

“Shut up, Cyndi. No he’s not.” You laugh, not looking up, instead reaching towards the cucumber.

“Look at him, give him a cheeky wink.” You laugh and actually look up to see him looking, a whisper of a smile across his lips. “Give him a look that says, ‘I want you. I need you. Please give me your big, juicy co-‘“

“Oh my god! Stop!” You cut in her words and slap her arm, you look back at Lupin to see he’s laughing.

“I am totally doing your outfit tonight. I’m just saying.” She raised her hands in defence.

That evening you stand in the mirror, Angel and Cyndi looking over you like the Angel and the Devil. Your hands are hiding your breasts and your crotch, embarrassed at what they’ve done to you.

“Move your hands.” Angel groans and pushes them down to reveal a lacy pink underwear set that almost pushes your breasts up to your chin.

“I look like I’m about to go on the corner and chat up men.” You say sternly.

“No you look hot. Turn around.” Cyndi instructs and you do, showing off your ass in those panties and your friends squeal and high five each other. “I knew you were hiding a fatty!” Cyndi literally jumps up and down.

“Here’s your skirt and your shirt, put them on.” Angel passes you the clothes and you step into them. Instantly understanding what’s happening.

“The skirt is almost just as short as the first time I had my tutoring session. What if a gust of wind comes and everything is revealed?” You place your hands on your hips to make yourself seem strong but you know against Cyndi, you’ll always lose.

“Then you go, ‘oopsies! I’m sorry Professor!’ And then really sexily pat your skirt down. BAM! Boner.” Cyndi says like it’s nothing and then buttons up your shirt which, thankfully, fits you.

“Merlin, you look good.” Angel whispers. You sigh, heaving your bag and wand over your shoulder and leave your two friends mimicking a blowjob and moaning Lupin’s name.

As you walk down the hallway, you realise how good you actually feel. Not just because you get to spend some time with your favourite Professor but also because you know how good you look. Your long legs are shining as you filter through the corridors, your Mary Jane’s clipping. You raise your hand to knock but, as usual, Lupin opens it for you. Your breath is taken away just from his look, his jaw hanging as he takes all of you in. His sweater hangs lazily on his shoulders, his tie completely undone; his slacks are a light brown and fit him perfectly; his hair is slightly ruffled with his moustache. He steps to the side and lets you in.

With your wand held out in front you, the stake is beckoning menacingly towards you, you focus your ears on blocking out the cackling and you breathe deeply.

“Come on. Come on.” Lupin whispers through gritted teeth as he watches you slowly transform into ease, your legs no longer trembling. Usually he wouldn’t have noticed your legs but now he is and can’t keep his eyes off them. He knows they’re smooth, from your ankles his eyes trace every inch of you, but his eyes stop at the rim of your skirt and noticing a flash of pink and he has to stop growling. Instead, blinking hard and watching as you raise your wand, your eyes glistening with tears that you didn’t let fall.

“Riddikulus!” You scream, every nerve in your body burning as you watch the spell finally work. The stake is blown into a balloon dog that barks and you drop your wand, breaking out into a laugh. Lupin drops his, exclaiming loudly and running to you. He grabs your waist with his strong arms and twirls you around in the air, you clasp your fingers around his neck as the both of you laugh and squeal and shout with the utmost happiness. You bury your face in the dark depths of his neck, his breath warm on yours as he stops still. Your hearts beating against each other, you pull from his neck and look at him, both of you stare almost lovingly at each other as you catch your breath. His arms hold you stronger, your long legs wrapped around his waist as he flickers those dark hazel eyes from your eyes to your lips. Time stills as his soft lips press to yours, at first you’re taken by surprise at how gentle he touches you until you relax in his embrace, your fingers stretching to the back of his head as the both of you melt into the kiss. One arm keeps you close to him whilst the other one reaches to caress your soft cheek, you smile against his lips and he can’t get enough so he deepens the kiss with his head, turning it towards the left whilst you go right. The two of you locked in a magical embrace, time still and the world at a full stop as the two of you explore each other’s mouths before pulling apart. His lips plump and swollen, slightly glistening from saliva and your lip gloss. Your hair is slightly out of place from where his hand had been. Both of you bewildered at what just happened but happy nonetheless. Lupin had been waiting for the moment to finally kiss those beautiful cherub lips, you wanted it too but always pushed it away as this is technically forbidden even though you are legal. His forehead comes forward and rests it, lovingly, on yours. He breathes.

“This shouldn’t happen.” But his arms never stray from your waist and your legs do not reach the floor.

“It shouldn’t but…”

“It has.” You both say at the same time. He breaks out into a smile and a breathy laugh, looking at his feet and then bringing his eyes back to you.

“Where do we go from here?” You ask, finally being set on the floor firmly. His hands rub down his face.

“I’m not sure. I don’t want you to think I’m abusing my power. You are, quite frankly, the most beautiful young witch I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” He admits, bringing his fingertips to your cheek and softly trailing them down to your lips, cupping your chin and leaning to kiss them. You want to melt into him, be one body.

“I know you’re not, Professor.” You place your hands on his cheeks, he softens into them.

“Please call me Remus. It makes me feel old when people call me Professor.” He laughs and you laugh, both of you laughing and then collapsing into an embrace.

“I suppose we could see where this goes?” You question, your arms wrapped around his middle (which is surprisingly muscular) so your voice is muffled. But he hears you loud and clear.

“Let’s see where this goes.” He rests his chin on your head. “It’s getting close to curfew. You should probably leave now.” He whispers it because he almost doesn’t want to believe his words that you have to go. You pull away from him, he tucks your braids behind your shoulders and kisses your head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

You turn on your heels and practically skip to the door.

“Hey.” You say, turning to face him, his hands deep in his pockets and he pitches his eyebrows to show that he’s listening. “What time are your office hours again?”

“My door is always open for you.” He says, a smile dancing and his voice dripping with affection. Your heart flutters and you turn to the hallway, letting the door shut softly.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Everything Stays

Pairing: Rhysand x Sister!Reader

Warnings: this made me feel things 🥲, canon character death, war, trauma, grief, siblingxsibling, regret, guilt/shame, Rhysand's family have names in this fic, fingering, blame, sorry no happy ending 🙃, goes downhill very fast, so yeah be prepared for that, had a deep hunger for a big bowl of sadness

Words: 4857

Summary: You should have been there with your mother and sister. You should be dead

"What are you doing here?!" Your mother's hiss would put a stop to any fun you and your brother were having. Really, it was rather dangerous for a young fae child like you to follow close behind your mother and brother as they traveled to the Illyrians mountains. The war camps weren't meant for little girls. If someone else had found you, they would have immediately clipped your wings before your father could get ahold of you.

Elowen usually had a gentle personality but when of her children dared to act stupidly, she wasn't afraid to show a bit of tough love. Especially toward her stubborn daughter. Little Isolde didn't mind being left back at father's court.

"Run!" Rhysand shrieks at you with a wild grin while Cassian hoots and hollers in support.

With a squeal, your wings start to flap; preparing your body to pick up wind. Only you're not fast enough for take off. Elowen grabs you by your ankle before you could really put distance between you and ground. Not like that would help you much. Your mother was a fast flyer.

"I tell you to stay home for a reason! You could've been killed following us!" Then she turns her attention to the two boys who were attempting to sneak away. "And you two! Both of you knew and let her? You're supposed to look after her."

"But I wasn't hurt!" You argue, trying to twist yourself out of your mother's grip. "I kept up with all of you without even being spotted!"

She's exasperated by you, you could see that on her face as she pinches at the bridge of her nose. "You willful girl."

You think she's upset or even worse, disappointed, until you watch her shoulders move as she chuckles softly. You may exhaust her, but you're constantly surprising her.

"As punishment, you have to stay by my side at all times when we're in the war camp. Understand?" Elowen chides but it was a fairly light sentence for you.

Smiling over at your brothers, they share your sentiment with their own large grins.

It was hard enough separating you from Rhysand to begin with, but since Cassian joined the family it was now near impossible to separate you from the two of them.

The three of you would not have carefree childhoods. Elowen knew this as she watches the three kids run around in the tall grass before Rhys and Cass were forced to go down to the base and train with the other young bloods.

Her eyes are glued particularly to you and Rhys who is fixing a weed that took the shape of a common flower into your hair. He's proven to be the sweetest brother through the years. First with you then with Isolde, but you had a special place in Rhys' heart. There was a depth to the relationship between the two of you that your mother couldn't quite place. If it were any other children, she would say that they might have had a crush on each other. That they were in love. Which to Elowen, looking at you and your brother, seemed obvious. Of course there's love between the two of you. You're siblings and strikingly close in age. However, sibling love wasn't it either.

"Mama!" your hands grasp at her arm, jerking to get her attention. Owlishly blinking, she gazes down at the roundness of your face. "Rhys and Cass says it's time for them to head to training. And you said I can't be away from you at the camps, so. . ." To make a point, you tug her toward where said boys were already heading down the mountain to where the Illyrian camp was.

Elowen breathes out a laugh and nods. She lets you continue to pull her along the path, her wings unfurling. You marvel at them. They were living testament to the grace and strength of your mother. You hope to one day have wings as beautiful as her's.

The dress your mother made you for your coming of age ceremony was by far her best work yet. Isolde oo's and ah's at the glittering jewels that look like stars and the shining of the silver thread meticulously stitched into it. She's gentle with the way she touches the dress, as if it were a sacred garment.

You kneel down with her on the ground. "Mother really outdid herself this time, didn't she?"

Isolde nods enthusiastically. "I don't know how she does it. She's so fast with needle and thread." You saw the admiration in her eyes. Much like you did, Isolde adored your amazing mother. She'd been learning how to sew slowly, even embroidery similar to the fine details on your dress.

Lovingly, you play with one thick strand of her dark hair. Play with it and catch the undershades of it from the sunlight. Isolde had the darkest hair that it looked the darkest shade of blue. "Are you excited for tonight?"

Your younger sister snorts a laugh, something she'd picked up from you much to your father's dismay. "This party is for you. And you're asking me if I'm excited? Are you excited?"

Indifferent, you shrug. This would just be like the many other parties and balls put on through Prythian. Only difference was that it was dedicated to you. Honestly, you had more fun watching your siblings enjoy themselves. Especially when Rhysand would dance with Isolde and Elowen. Even cuter was Cassian stepping in to take her hand for his own dance.

"I guess I'm a little excited." You hum and stand back up to stretch your legs. "It's fun to watch all of the different courts mingle together. Looks weird how different each fae is from their respective court."

Isolde purses her lips, hands retracting from the gown as she gazes up at you with doleful eyes. "This party also means that father intends to find you a husband."

Yes, it was something both you and your siblings dreaded. The day your father would give you away to another important lord who would take you away from your family. Something Rhysand had brought up late last night when you'd snuck into his room. He knew it made grim pillow talk, but it was on both of your minds as your coming out ceremony. There would be nothing he could do to keep you in his arms. Not when your father was still the High Lord.

"Yeah. . . lets hope it'll take him a while to pick one out for me." You were still safe, at least for tonight. Tomorrow would be a different battle for you. "For now though, I'm free."

You don't like how your sister's expression is now heavy with sadness. For being younger than you, Isolde was already an inch taller than you were and easily wraps her arms around your neck to bring you into a hug. Your cheek brushes against the softness of her hair, inhaling the sweet jasmine that scented her tresses. Elowen once joked that the real parents to Isolde might as well have been you and Rhysand. Since your sister's birth, you and your brother did treat her like your baby. To the high faes, babies were more precious than any gold or gemstone and you and Rhysand treated her as such.

"I don't want you to ever get married." She whispers and you can't help the giggle that bubbles in your chest and past your lips. A sentiment she'd shared with you plenty times before. It was everyone's one major fear. Well, except for your father. He thought it was long past for you to be engaged. You'd heard him mention something about clipping your wings once. So that you wouldn't be able to fly away from your chosen spouse. Thankfully Elowen had quickly shut that down vehemently. No daughter of her's would have their wings clipped for as long as she lived.

"I know. I don't every want to get married either."

"Except for Rhysand?"

Sharply inhaling, you pull away from her to give her a stern look. "Isolde, we all know that's impossible. You shouldn't say those things out loud. What if someone else heard?"

"He'd be a good husband for you though! And that would mean you wouldn't have to ever leave us." she argues back.

She doesn't mean anything bad by it, but you couldn't risk anyone hearing your conversation. You lower your voice to a whisper. "He's my brother. No one in Prythian would allow it. Because. . . because siblings can't be mates. Can't marry each other."

Still not quite understanding, her lips fumble with more questions but you merely shake your head and pat her cheek.

"No more of this, Isolde. Please."

Hating to upset you, she closes her mouth and stiffly nods. Isolde murmurs out an apology but you dismiss it. There was nothing for her to apologize for.

You sigh and instruct her to start getting ready for the night's festivities. Ducking her head, she leaves you alone in your room to ruminate on your own dreary thoughts.

This truly was the beginning of the end for you.

Pleading with your own tears not to fall, you lean against a bedpost as it was the only source of support in that moment.

If only you were able to be with Rhys. To live out the rest of your days with him, happily ruling the Night Court together. If anyone knew of these thoughts you had, they would immediately condemn you. Marrying cousins was all fine and dandy, but immediate blood like siblings was another thing that was completely looked down upon both by the fae and human society. Rhysand would never be allowed to take over as High Lord and you would never be seen as a queen. Any children you had together. . . there'd be many cruel words slung at any children. In the courts, the lords regard you and your siblings as halflings due to your mother's Illyrian lineage.

Cassian was the only one worthy to know your secret, and apparently Isolde too to some extent, that you and Rhysand were actual mates. That rare connection which not many faes experience in their lifetime. Five years ago it finally snapped in place, confirming to your joy (and horror) that you and Rhysand were destined to be together in a intimate way. Rhysand was over the moon but understood the trouble that would come from this.

This was a secret difficult to keep hidden since you were official mates. Rhys would display the typical protectiveness of males when they're around their mate.

With stiff fingers, you lift up your hairbrush. You had to get ready too.

Through the whispers of your bond, you feel Rhysand's own trepidation.

Deep breaths, my love. Your mind attempts to soothe him, a hand to a cat's arching back. Rhysand's tendrils caress against that calming thought. You wish nothing more than to nuzzle against his conscious. Let Rhys sweep you up and take you back to the mountains. Back to the cabin that was filled with both wonderful memories and those splattered with blood. The only place where the both of you could be yourselves without discriminating stares.

You give yourself a once over when you finish putting on the last details of your outfit. A bundle of red poppies mixed with the dainty white dots of baby's breath are strewn in your hair. One who was savvy with the language of flowers would understand: poppies for 'I am not free' and baby's breath for 'everlasting love'. Your only flag of rebellion against the High Lord of the Night Court.

Outside in the hall, you already hear the faint sound of revelry vibrating from the main audience hall where drinks were freely flowing. A few sconces fixed to the corridor's walls cast a warm, orange glow that gave you a false sense of security. Instead of heading for the rest of the party, you turn the other way to where Rhys' rooms were. He probably wasn't ready yet. Your brother liked to be fashionably late to everything.

When you get to his door, you hear other voices from his side. The low, gravely chuckle of Cassian and Azriel's calming tenor. Being the typical snooping sister, you take a mini step forward, hold your breath and press your ear to his door.

"You have us. Tonight will be fine." Cass reassures his brother and you can practically image his broad grin that made his rugged features soften. "We won't let you do anything stupid."

That only causes your brother to groan. "You're the one who always encourages me to do stupid things!"

Az's laugh sounds incredibly close, in fact he probably already knew you were there on the other side eavesdropping thanks to his tattling shadows. "I'll be the one to make sure neither of you do anything stupid."

All three share another laugh. Your own smile curling on your lips made your cheeks hurt. How you loved your three idiots. Why couldn't the Cauldron have fated you to fall in love with Cassian or Azriel? It would make things easier for everyone.

I would not have it any other way. Rhys' voice rings in your head right before his bedroom door swings open.

You squeal and stumble backward but Rhys snags your waist and lifts you off of your feet to be unceremoniously thrown over his shoulder. "Put me down!!" The other two males playfully jeer at the little door mouse that was caught.

"Naughty girl!" He merely laughs and throws me onto his plush bed.

"You could have ruined my hair!" You glower at him once you finally manage to sit up. The three of them are giggling like school girls. You swat Rhysand's hand away when he tries to tuck a stray strand behind your ear.

"Ah don't worry. You still look drop dead gorgeous." Cassian grins. "Unfortunately for the males out there tonight. We fear Rhysand might claw out a few eyes."

"And it would serve them right for looking at his mate like that." You nod, supporting any and all eye gauging. That makes Cassian hoot a laugh.

Azriel chuckles as he goes to Cassian and throws an arm around the other's shoulder. "We'll wait for you two downstairs. Don't keep us waiting."

Their laughter was still audible, even with Rhys' bedroom door closed. Finally alone, Rhysand sinks beside you onto the bed. His fingers are soft as a brush against your cheek.

"You do look beautiful tonight." Rhysand murmurs in that sultry way that was an instantaneous knee shaker. "And I really fear I might attack any male that gazes at you with interest." The darkening tone of his voice tells you of what he wishes to do with you. His hand going to the back of your neck to press you closer to him was enough of a tipoff.

If you let him though. . . the other males at the party would be able to smell him all over you.

Choosing to be the responsible one, you pull away. "Rhys. You promised to be on your best behavior."

He just chuckles and pulls you toward him again. "I don't know what you're talking about. I am behaving, sweetling." His cheek brushes against your's as he goes in to graze your neck with his sharp teeth. The roaming hands on you said otherwise. Rhysand cupped your ass, nearly lifting you off the floor with his strength. "You, however, are not behaving. I can smell your needy pussy."

Your breath catches in your throat when he turns you around and bends you over his bed. You want to fight him off, really you do, but the moment he pushes the skirts of your dress up you knew you were a goner. You'd let him do whatever he wanted.

"Just a taste, sweet girl." Rhysand separates your thighs to reveal your glistening lower lips. He dips two fingers in you. Your fingers grip at the bed sheets while you smother your face to keep all moans inaudible. Hips betray you when you find yourself grinding against his fingers. The obscene squelching noise from Rhys pumping his fingers in and out of you has your whole body shivering.

Rhysand knew your body better than anyone else. Knew how to make you come undone with just a few strokes and rolling of your clit. Your pussy walls clench around his fingers, restricting their movements or trying to. Rhys was relentless, grinning at your pitiful cries, muffled by the blankets you smother your face with.

Pulling his fingers out as you finish riding out your orgasm, Rhysand licks away the milky cream that coated his fingers. You wonder how he plans on hiding his erection. It was obvious as it strained against the dark fabric of his trousers making a visible tent.

Nonchalantly, Rhysand helps you to stand after cleaning you up a little with a discarded shirt of his. "Alright. Now we're ready."

You gawk at him, your cheeks still flushed. "You're not ready! Look at your dick! Poor thing is straining in your pants."

He loudly laughs and reaches down into his pants to readjust his cock. Settling it against the band of his pants. "There. Better?"

"Not really since the others are going to-" Your brother cuts you off with a heated kiss.

"Stop fretting, sweetling. This evening is supposed to be fun right?" Rhys smiles, tucking a few strands of your hair back into place. He appraises your face by tilting it ever so gently to make sure nothing else was out of place. With a satisfied smile, Rhysand's hand falls to hold your's. "Lets go show everyone my beautiful girl."

Perhaps Rhysand did too well of a job in showing off his goddess-like sister because now all male eyes were glued to you. Hungry eyes that were starting to tick off your brother the longer he was by your side.

Eventually Azriel and Cassian pull him away, saying that they should get some drinks while you mingled.

You weren't alone for too long though. The High Lord of the Night Court takes Rhysand's place. He steers you toward his influential friends and fellow High Lords. Particularly the gold haired members of the Spring Court.

Cordially smiling, you play along. All the while you can feel Rhysand's eyes watching your every movement. His thoughts flowing freely to you. His jealous snarls when Tamlin dares to ask you for a dance has you giggling.

He was a good dancer, you'd give him that. Excellent on his feet. Easy on the eyes too (that musing had Rhys fuming).

As Tamlin twirls you around, you happen to catch your father and Tamlin's speaking to one another while casting glances over at the two of you.

You didn't like the way they conspiringly whisper to one another.

And neither did Rhysand as he and his brothers linger closely to eavesdrop. There was a slim chance that your father would betroth you to Tamlin, the youngest of the Spring Lord's sons. Ideally your father would want the eldest son, Pryr.

When the dance ends, you pull from Tamlin with a smile though he seems reluctant to release your waist. "Thank you for the wonderful dance, Tamlin."

"If you're up to it, I'd be more than happy to be your partner for the next." Tamlin proposes.

Not likely, Tam. You hear Rhysand hiss through your bond.

And on perfect cue, Isolde bounces between you and Tamlin. She beams up at you with those pretty amethyst eyes and gives you a quick wink. "Wow Tamlin! You were amazing! Can I be your partner for the next dance?"

You see he's prepared to say no but was struggling to phrase it as nicely as he could. "That's a wonderful idea, Isolde! A talent like Tamlin's should be shared." You turn expectantly to Tamlin. "You'll take care of her, right?"

"But-"

"Of course he will!" Isolde snatches Tamlin's hand and pulls him back to the dance floor.

You definitely had the best sister ever.

You flee to where your three Bat Boys were standing before Tamlin could realize what had just happened. Cassian is trying to hide his laugh.

"I don't think you could've gotten out of there faster than you did. Thought I saw your wings carrying you." Cass chuckles and hands you a glass filled with rose flavored alcohol. You lean along the wall with them, between Rhysand and Azriel, as you watch the rest of the partygoers. Tamlin's older brothers were stuck to their father as usual. The perfect sons. Observing as the High Lord of Spring murmurs to his oldest son. Pryr's eyes suddenly lock onto your's.

Quickly you avert your gaze and go to drinking from your glass.

Rhys doesn't miss it either.

Sweet days with your siblings were over and any thoughts of your engagement were set aside. War was battering the world at all angles that didn't leave you and your family exempt. A battering of wings against slings of arrows and offensive magic alike. You saw bodies fall from the sky. The dry dirt soaking up the still warm blood of comrades. You'll never get that smell out of your head for as long as you live. Nor the fear that seized you when you cared for a wounded Rhysand, Cassian or Azriel. Your fingers ached from the long hours you were forced to brandish your blade against oncoming enemies of Hybern.

You saw your mother and sister less and less. Your father raged that you should also be left behind with them. Being a female and all. There was no way that you were leaving Rhys' side. The High Lord of the Night Court really should have clipped your wings when he could. Constantly disobeying him thanks to the ability to fly, you followed the war camps much to his displeasure. He couldn't keep you away.

Rhysand himself tried a few times to talk you out of fighting alongside him. The hardening of your eyes was enough to shut Rhysand up and accept the fact that there was no getting rid of you. If it meant you could potentially die next to him, so be it. A death with Rhysand didn't sound so bad to you.

The four of you persevered though. Hybern was all but defeated. There were still a few lingering troops left in Prythian but nothing your army couldn't handle. It was the end of the road for them.

"Mother and Isolde will be in the southern Illyrian camp." You grip the small note in your hand, smiling. You hadn't seen them in months.

Rhysand pats his lap and you flutter over to him, perching yourself on his strong thighs. His elegant hand takes the note from you and examines it. "I don't think we'll be able to get there until tomorrow. There's still so much to be done here."

The tip of your cold nose finds warmth against Rhysand's neck. He puffs out a laugh from the contact and wraps his arm around you to offer you extra heat. "I'll have someone take over our own missive to let them know." Your fingers toy with the deep dip of Rhysand's collarbone. His eyes flicker as he uses his to reach out to someone through his daemati skill to have them pass it along to his mother and sister.

He's practically purring at your merest touch, his needy hands softly groping you.

You giggle and shake your hand. "Rhys. You said so yourself. We're quite busy." You were never one to deny your brother anything, but there were more important tasks to attend to than letting him rail you in his tent.

Dramatically, Rhysand throws his head back and sighs; hands reluctantly release you but not before he gave your ass a little smack. "As always you're right. Do you know how annoying that is?"

Chuckling you hold your hand out to him. "Come on. I want to finish up so we can see mom and Izzy bright and early."

The following morning you make your sleepy way to the river to refill your canteen.

Bobbing in the gentle waters were odd boxes.

Quizzically, you flick your hand to send your magic to fish them out. Once placed in front of your feet, you kneel to the ground and examine it. Doesn't look like anything out of the ordinary. But it's presence here in the mountains made you grab a knife to flip open one of the lids with the blade. Cautious.

Large, void amethyst eyes stare up at you.

The horrific sound of your screaming shattered the once quiet mountain. Earth shaking under you as you hold up Isolde's severed head, both hands clutching at her cold and stiff cheeks.

You just couldn't stop wailing.

Couldn't bring yourself to open the other box.

Even when tears cloud your vision, you can still make out the blurry features that had once been flush with life and love. Your screams were of utter pain, pure and guttural that were ripped so viciously from you.

You didn't notice the others crowding around you.

Didn't recognize your brother's hands or Azriel's scarred ones that hurriedly fly over your eyes. Someone removes Isolde's head from your grip.

You understand your body was moving. That someone was trying to quiet you with soft, tender words. Anything that would beckon you from your hysteria.

"We need to do something!" Cass' voice is so far away.

There's more screaming but you don't know if the voice voice still belonged to you. Didn't have the chance to find out before you black out.

Even when you come to, you're still in shock; unable to comprehend the savagery.

You'd been out for only a short amount of time but it was enough for you to have been moved to a bed. Did Rhys winnow you to the cabin?

The last person you were expecting to be in the room with you was the furious High Lord, your father, Rhain. When he registers that your eyes are open, awake, his stride is fast and soon he grabs the front of your shirt despite shouting coming from the healers.

"YOU."

Your lips dumbly part, words fail you as you attempt to weakly lift your arms to push him off of you.

But Lord Rhain gives you a good shake that rattles your brain in your skull. "You should have been with them." He kept shaking you. His words were hard to decipher as his speech became more growling than vocabulary.

"Let go of her!"

"She should be dead too!" You'd never seen such an expression on anyone's face. Not when you were killing others in the war. Rhain's features were twisted between the features of fae and monster.

Cassian and Azriel struggle to hold back the Night Court's High Lord. Especially in the state that he was in right now.

Rhysand trusts the two at his back to handle Rhain while he tends to you. "It's okay- Did he hurt you? Look at me, please."

Your eyes rapidly flutter, no dam was strong enough to stop the large tears that build over your eyelashes and drip down your cheeks. "I- What happened was real then. . ." You can't look at him. His eyes painfully remind you. . .

A sob is caught in your throat as your chest heaves. You turn your face to the side.

"The Spring Court did it." Rhysand hisses and grips your hands tightly in his. His warmth felt painful, like they would leave blisters to your ice cold hands. He repeats your name when your gaze wanders to Rhain still putting up a fight against the burly arms of your adoptive brothers. "Please look at me. My love, my heart, please look at me."

Lips quivering, you shake your head. "I can't. I can't. Your eyes-" You gulp down air as grief reaches high up into you and squeezes your heart. "Isolde- Isolde-"

"That's right! If you had been with them-" Your father's words were cut off by Rhysand's commandeering voice.

"Get him out of here!"

The bobbing heads of others gather at the door to assist the general and spy master.

Could. . . could you have prevented their deaths?

"Don't listen to him." Rhysand immediately reads that echoing voice. "None of this is your fault."

You'd just wanted so desperately to remain by Rhysand's side. Being away from him, well, you'd never accomplished being away from him except for when he went through the Blood Rite. You hadn't slept the entire time he and the others were fighting for their lives.

W-was this retribution for your abnormal relationship with your brother?

A ragged sob has you curling into yourself.

There was truth to Rhain's words.

"(y/n)." Rhys near pleading in tone. Through the telepathic bonds mates were graced with, you hear his actual begging.

Please look at me.

Don't believe our father.

(y/n).

Please.

I love you.

All Rhysand saw rolling in your mind was the image of Isolde's head in your trembling hands.

[figthefruitfaeth]

“Yeah that whole wall is Wayne’s, won’t even let me touch the top row cause they’re ‘collectibles’ and ‘you’ll bring down half the shelf just trying to get one’,” Eddie laughs, the roof of the car humming with his memory.

“Is he wrong though?” He asks, watching as Eddie’s eyes roll up and then over to him.

“No.”

“There you go then.”

A playful slap hits his chest, and Steve groans. 

“You can take more than that, big boy,” he says, but offers the joint to him in apology.

The night eases in around them, the sky slipping from hazy blue to a shimmering black sky. The quarry is quiet, a few crickets chirping, the occasional churn of gravel of a passing car. Enough to know they aren’t alone, enough to know what exactly is with them. 

Eddie is next to him breathing slow. Not too slow, just long deep inhales, shaky little rushed things on the exhale. He hears it, feels it through the vibrations of the roof, smells it as a thick cloud of weed joins the sky. 

“What about you?” Eddie asks just as Steve is taking another drag. It’s the first thing either has said in a while, but it doesn’t feel abrupt, it doesn’t break the quiet or the quarry. 

“What about me?”

Eddie turns to him, hand under his head, dark eyes on him.

“You ever collect anything?”

Steve meets his gaze, turns away to watch the stars after a moment.

In the back of his closet, underneath the winter jackets and crammed between some textbooks he never bothered returning, is a shoebox. Small, a children’s size seven, thin cardboard soft at the edges and yellowed out tape placed neatly on each side keeping it closed.

He started going on his parent’s trips when he was five. He was old enough not to cry and embarrass anyone with a temper tantrum, young enough to still be a darling charm for his mother to stride around. The meetings were boring, the places not entirely enticing for a little kid, a lot of waiting and stiff suits he’d only ever worn to church. That didn’t particularly matter to Steve. What he cared about, were the postcards.

Every hotel lobby front desk had them. A swinging rack of glittery, gaudy pieces of paper that could be mailed off to tell your friends of where you’d been. The nicer ones tended to be a bit more understated--less of a rack and more of a neat collection row of tasteful options for their clientele to peruse--but they all had them.

Every trip, Steve carefully went through the selection and picked out two. One for Tommy, who never got to go anywhere and always liked the flashy night time views. The second he sent to himself almost like a diary. It made the trip home just as exciting, because while his parents would retire to the bedroom and the boardroom, only ever coming out for dinner, at least Steve would have something who wanted him waiting for him. 

When he was ten, his parent’s got varying degrees of promotions which sent them aboard, and had Steve stay home. An international flight for three people is too expensive, they said, and he’d be bored anyway. He didn’t really know how true the first one was, and the second he knew they hadn’t cared about before, but it was fine because he still got postcards.

This time they were from mom (sometimes signed by dad). Historic castles and glass monuments, holiday tidings in different languages and cobble stone streets. The messages were never really interesting--always just a brief summary of their plans and whether the date of their expected return had changed. Steve didn’t expect anything else, he knew who they were and what he was to them. The important thing was that they wrote, that they bought a roll of stamps to stick on, that they wanted to come back.

At fifteen, Tommy’s older brother gives him a joint, and they hole up in his basement with Carol, half of the liquor store’s snack aisle, and a copy of Airplane! His parents come home early that same night, and his dad yells at him for three hours. 

He doesn’t get another postcard. 

Steve takes another drag, letting the smoke sink into deep into himself, before letting it all go in one long breath. 

“No. Not really.”

Eddie’s still looking at him, feels his gaze like a warm hand along his face--fingers dipping into the premature crows feet and over a necklace of scars. Steve doesn’t move, doesn’t look back to meet him, cause he already knows what face he’s making--eyes wide and assessing, soft but quick sharp. The face he always makes when they stumble into baggage.

The crickets chirp, a breeze flutters through the open zipper of his jacket. It’s been a warm March, but it still bites like winter when it wants to. Steve shivers, crosses his arms over his chest, joint a flicker of flame between his fingertips. 

But before he can get too comfortable, it’s plucked from his hand. He whips his head to find Eddie taking a drag, then smothering what’s left of it on his roof.

“Hey--”

“I’ll clean it later, just--” and then Eddie’s got his hands on him, and Steve is too slow to stop him as he reconfigures them, pushing and pulling until Eddie is sitting up, Steve’s head in his lap looking up at him.

“I was really comfortable as is, ya know,” he says, but doesn’t make to move. Eddie is looking at him, but there’s a smirk on his lips, eyes a shimmering black. 

“Let’s get you one.”

“One what?”

“A collection,” he whispers, like it’s a secret. A hand cards through his hair, sending small little shivers down his spine. “Like Wayne’s mugs.”

“You want me to collect something?” 

“Yeah, why not. It’d be something for you to have, to take care of--other than me and the brats.”

If it weren’t for the conviction in his voice, the earnest expression across his face, Steve might’ve thought he was fucking with him. Or maybe had too much weed. 

“What--” Steve tries, amused if also bewildered at where this is going. “What would I even collect? That’s not a thing you can just, start.”

Eddie snorts. “I wasn’t born with tattoos, Steve-o. You could do anything--coins, baseball cards, records. Model cars would be up your alley, if a little on the nose.”

The thought of a matching coin collection with Keith makes him gag.

“No? Fair, okay. Oh, you know what? You strike me as a Beanie Baby kind of guy. Yeah.”

“Beanie Babies?” Unbelievable.

“Brownie the Bear not enough for you? We’ll get you the set don’t worry--”

“Eddie--”

“And if you’re good, I’ll see if I can swing Peanut in time for your birthday--”

“Absolutely not, no fucking way,” but Steve is giggling, and then Eddie is too, which just sets him off further, until tears are welling up, both of them gasping for breath over the stupidest thing. 

Once they finally manage to calm down, breathing easy save for the stray little laugh that escapes, Steve swallows, whispers, “I love you.”

Eddie smiles sweetly, presses a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too.”

At twenty, warm and loose between his boy and the wide arms of spring, Steve starts collecting something new.

[swann-song]

daydreaming - finale

summary: the reality of dating a farmer comes with certain expectations. meeting the chavanges makes you realise that maybe pierres family do not find you suitable.

your mother tried to pull you away from pierre. she said she expected better and you were enraged, you had many heated arguments, you threatened to stop talking to her so she changed her tactic. conveniently visiting the library with "appropriate" guys and sending you their phone numbers. "this one works in finance" she pushed her phone in your face. it was some guy in a suit. "you know as tempting as guys who do coke off your ass and fuck their secretaries are, no thank you" your mother gasped scandalised and held her chest. pierre opened the door whenever she visited your flat. pierre was introverted so it’s not like he had long conversations with her. he kept a distance and was respectful. gradually she saw him the way you did, he was kind, attentive and calm. when she dramatically declared that she approved, you rolled your eyes.

"her dream job was always being a librarian you know" pierre was listening to your mother. "i thought after university she’d do something adventurous but you know how she is" pierre nodded and offered her a plate of pastries. "pierre why don’t you go the the hairdressers, it’s getting a bit long no" pierre pushed his hair away, "your daughter prefers it this way, i can’t disobey" it’s true, you were very tyrannical about his hair. "mon dieu" your mother shook her head at you but you can’t pretend to feel bad.

"did you see what jean has done to his roof, made a complete mess of it" you watched pierre try to keep up and felt sentimental. he had a sun kiss tan from working all day. you could tell he was tired but trying, he gave you a tender smile. you’d forgotten what life was like without him, your memories were blurring and pierre was the only thing you saw in focus.

*

the chavanges' house is getting a spring clean like no other. pierre fixed flickering lightbulbs, had repainted the front door. he had deep cleaned every nook and cranny of the farmhouse. all the doors hinges were oiled, he stopped the drip of the kitchen tap. the garden weeded and blooming with newly planted flowers. pierre had even taken the time to bathe all his cows with his new farmboy, they were mirror clean. his parents were happy with the changes but his obsessive cleaning is overwhelming them. pierre doesn’t let them help, he nags at them to keep out of his way and even told them to keep their own room clean like they’re children. he needs the house to be spotless. you were seeing it for the first time tonight, he’s officially introducing you to his family and the farm. he wants this to be your home so it has to be perfect.

*

you watched pierre’s mother force a smile at your gift. you’d bought her a mug with a cow on it, it said "good moo-rning". your smile drops and you turn to pierre, he has a sympathetic smile on his face and squeezes your hand under the table. the dinner wasn’t going well. you tried to relax and be pleasant but it’s hard, pierres parents and his sister pascale have been tracking your every move. you rub the back of your neck and pick at your plate. you wanted to make a good impression but can’t seem up to find the pulse tonight. pierre was dressed sharp, he wore those tighter trousers he knew you liked and his cologne is the same you bought him for your six month anniversary, the smell reminds you of that night and you flush a the memory.

you had spent all day preparing, you even practiced conversation starters. you’d chosen an elegant and classy knee length dress, your hair pinned up sleek. the flowers, wines and now gift weren’t helping. you didn’t want to make pierre doubt your compatibility and no matter what your mother said, you want to get along with his family. not that he’d ever said it’s a requirement, in fact he’d said he’d prefer it if you hated them. pierres hand had rested on your thigh all night, his thumb strokes it to soothe you. you could tell he was trying hard tonight, leading the conversation and keeping the atmosphere light. it must be very hard for him, you know he struggles to be extroverted, especially when things are as awkward as this.

they interrogated you and you gave your most diplomatic answers but everything that came out of your mouth warranted a "huh" or "i see" from them. no you don’t garden, no you’d never been to a farm and you had only every worked at the library, a few cafes when you were younger. your ex boyfriends were bought up and compared to pierres ex girlfriends. apparently your ex's older brother was now married to pierres ex, the way that his mother said it, you’d think you set them up. you asked pierres father about current events since pierre had told you he enjoys the news. watching it maybe but he wasn’t open to discussing it with you. you were asked if you were squeamish about blood, when you made a joke that it made you faint, only pierre laughed along and you could tell it was just for your benefit. you were intimidated by pierres sister pascale, she was a few years older than you and too cool for you to talk to, well that’s how it felt. when ms. chavanges asked you how many children you wanted and if you’d taken a fertility test, pierre whispered "mother" sharp and low at her and you asked if the cows were hating this hot weather to distract, it made you sound stupid but you couldn’t think of anything else.

pierre gets up to take the dinner plates, you reach for some but pascale pushed you back down smiling, saying she’ll take it with him instead. that’s a good sign, at least his sister liked you. you complimented the home interior and the decorations, the house was cozy and welcoming, the smell of the garden flowers travelling in. after a pause, ms. chavanges starts, "you have very dainty hands" you um and look at your hands "do you have an active lifestyle". you laugh awkwardly. "actually, you know i carry around heavy piles of books up and down stairs all day... i hope that counts" you sip your wine and watch pierres mother. his father was very quite, he’d barely talked tonight. you fridget with your earrings. pierre comes back with plates of dessert, a very impressive chocolate soufflé, your eyes widen at him. he puts it before you with a flourish "voila!~"

dessert was going much better, pascale and pierre had taken over, they were reciting funny family stories to you. you really appreciated the limelight off you. you were an eager audience, pascale was more than willing to expose all of pierres embarrassing stories. pierre was waving his arms about to stop her and even covered your ears for some of them. pascale prided in telling you she used to cover his bed in hay and sneak a calf into his bedroom when he got drunk to freak him out. as the night went on, pierres parents retired with a polite goodnight. pascale left not long after, pierre offered her the spare room but she wanted to drive home. she gave you a warm hug. "i'm glad you like pierre, at least someone does now" pierre scoffed at her and you laughed bewildered. "let’s get lunch together some time, my practice is close to your library" you promised her you would and waved her off.

pierre closed the door and turned to you, he held your face. "you did well darling" and kissed your cheek. you sigh and raised your brows. "your being a little delusion but i appreciate it" you stopped faking a smile and pierre pulled you across the living room, through the hallway and into a room that looks like his office. the moonlight poured into the room from the windows and shone on pierres delicate face, his silver hair reflective and blue eyes crystal clear.

*

pierre watched you look at him with a finger on your bottom lip. he flicked on the lights, "what is it?". you ignore him and turned around the room, taking a beeline to his desk. your eyes dart around it, "how do you work like this, it’s like there’s been an explosion" you flick through some papers. "you know i could organise this, i’ve got a great system i could do for you, everything alphabetical or categorical, whichever you prefer really" pierre dragged you away and onto the coach. he can’t let you get distracted by stationary, that’s a battle he knew he can’t win. he was also feeling a little offended, he’d tidied for your visit, his desk was organised and neat by his standards.

pierre played with the the wispy strands of your hair that had come undone throughout the night, when his fingers brushed against the nape of your neck you took a breath. pierre liked how responsive you were to his every touch, he plants a kiss on the back of your neck. your eyes meet and he watches your lips, slightly open the way they are when you expected a kiss. he clears his throat. he needed to know if you approved. of the house, the dinner, his family. of him. he needed to know if you wanted a future here with him. he had watched your eyes dart around all night, you stared at the bookcase in the living room, no doubt judging their literary taste. you said you liked the wallpaper and that it reminded you of beatrix potter art. you told them you liked the fine china and the food was delicious. had craned your neck to look into the garden, his stomach flipped as he watched a soft smile grow on your lips. but he needed to know if you didn’t like any part of it, he could change it all to your liking, he only needed to be told. he was nervous you might dislike something he can’t change or not want any of it all together.

you held his hand and squeezes it, "i'm sorry i was awkward, i just need a little time" pierre looked at you puzzled and snorted a laugh, "i really don’t give a fuck about that baby" pierre grabbed a glass and poured you a wine he knew you liked, he had put some of your favourite snacks on the table earlier that day. "do you like the house" he asks casually. you roll your eyes at him, "do i like the adorable cottage with a farm and garden surrounded by gorgeous trees, yes pierre, yes i do" you sip your wine and sit back. you play with his fingers and ask, "how can you even ask?" he watched you and moved back a strand of hair on your faces, you wiggled closer to him and felt you press your tits against his arm, purposely he might add. "i want you to like it that’s all" he kisses your forehead and whisper against it "i want this to be… your home one day".

you grinned at him mischievously, "oh am i a contender for mrs chavanges, i don’t know pierre would i suit being a farmers wife" your kidding again, but pierres been too stressed and can’t seem to laugh along. you notice and stroke his hair, almost patting him. pierre starts, "i love you, i don’t want to pressure you but i need you to understand my lifestyle, you can’t run away from it further along and break my heart” your eyes narrow at him. "i mean of course you could, it’d just be really mean of you" he adds, you giggle and kiss him. pierre holds you closer, he was never gonna push away a kiss from you. the kiss goes on longer, pierre tastes you and runs his hands up your legs and to the ball of your back. you pull away and catch your breathe, pierre is mesmerised with your face. your lips were plum and wet, he’d been kissing you too long. you push his hair from his eyes and smile. "pierre i could never leave or hurt you, i love you too don’t forget" a wave of gratitude washes over him, he kisses the back of your hand. "i will warn you though i’m not gonna help in the barn, my nails are really expensive pierre" his laugh fills the room, he’d never wanted you to lift a finger and imagining you trying to herd and milk the cows was like a slapstick comedy in his head.

pierre felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. he told you openly the future he imagined with you, the farm was doing well, he’d already got a few new apprentices, training them to the standard he expected. his cows had won a few awards and that’s given him more power to negotiate for better contracts. he wanted you to know he has laid the foundation for a strong future. pierre had been taking more time off recently and promised you he’d be able to take even more. you nodded and your hand traced down his jaw to his chest. you lean close to his ear. "i like every version of a life with you pierre, you don’t need to convince me of anything, i’m not going anywhere". pierres eyes strung, of course you’d know exactly what he wanted. he pulls you onto his lap, his buries his face in your neck. he takes in the feeling of you close to him, your scent, the rise and fall of your body, wondering how he got so lucky.

"you know i used to have a crush on you when i was younger" pierres face snaps up confused. "i used to daydream of us having a picnic in the grass, on that hill up there" your voice was airy as you stared out the window and pierre loved you even more. more than he ever thought he was capable of loving someone.

the end.

thank you for reading!~ i really appreciate you taking the time, i loved swann in this movie and was inspired. thanks again xox

daydreaming masterlist

[kckt88]

Taking of a City.

Summary:

After Aemond leaves for Harrenhal, Rhaenyra and Daemon arrive in Kings Landing to reclaim the Iron Thone.

Warning(s): Swearing, Blood, Death,

Word Count: 2100

Author Note: A companion piece to Wedding & Consummation/Bath Time/Arrival(s)/Mother & Father/Petitions & Final Tributes/The Hand, The King & The Dragon/Dragonstone/Blood & Cheese/A Time for Grief/The Gullet/Harrenhal and the Rivers/The Gods Eye, The Fallen Queen & New Beginnings.

But can be read as a one-shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

“You want to go to Harrenhall?” asked Vaera.

“We’ve given Rhaenyra a month to concede. It’ll be easier if we get rid of Daemon first”.

“What about Kings Landing?” asked Vaera.

“I will leave my Queen in charge” replied Aemond as he took of the conquerors crown and placed it on Vaera’s head.

“B-But the other Lords. Aemond they won’t accept me” exclaimed Vaera.

“Yes, they will. Besides Ser Criston is coming with me. There is no one else that can sit the Iron Throne. I’ve already spoke to them, and they’ve all pledged to support you in my absence”.

“How many of them did you threaten to kill?” asked Vaera sheepishly.

“Only three. But I know you’ll be fine. I need someone on the Throne that I can trust, and I need Cannibal here just in case” said Aemond.

“What about my mother?” asked Vaera as she eyed Vhagar in the distance.

“I should be back in time. Harrenhall isn’t too far from Kings Landing.”

“Assuming of course you manage to deal with Daemon in that time” muttered Vaera.

“I have to try Vaera” said Aemond firmly.

“I know you do. I’m just worried. Daemon is no ill trained knight. He’s a seasoned warrior, and if anything happened to you. I don’t know what I’d do” said Vaera her lips wobbling.

“Listen to me, if something was to happen-“

“-Aemond. No” gasped Vaera shaking her head.

“If something was to happen to me, you need take Rhaegar and leave Westeros” urged Aemond.

“L-Leave Westeros?” asked Vaera.

“You and Rhaegar get on the back of Cannibal, and you fly as far east as you can. I will go to my death content with the knowledge that you and our children will live” said Aemond as he ran a hand over the small swell of Vaera’s stomach.

“D-Don’t die” sobbed Vaera.

“I’ll try not to. But I swear if I do, I will take your cunt of a father with me” said Aemond, as he pressed one last kiss to Vaera’s forehead and headed towards Vhagar.

Almost a week without Aemond and Vaera was missing him terribly and sitting in endless council meetings was boring.

Day in day out, the Lords would argue on the best way to deal with Rhaenyra and Daemon, it was getting tiresome, for every argument there was no progress.

Everything hinged on Aemond being able to retake Harrenhall and deal with Daemon.

Thinking about Aemond confronting Daemon made Vaera feel sick to her stomach. Both Daemon and Aemond were skilled with a blade, but Daemon had seen battle. He once been crowned King of the narrow sea.

Vaera just prayed to the gods of old Valyria that Aemond would survive.

After having a meeting with grand maester Orwyle, to check that everything was progressing well with the babe she carried, Vaera decided to distract herself and spend time with the children.

Maelor was fussy so Alicent decided to keep him inside but permitted Vaera to take Jaehaera to the gardens with Rhaegar.

“Do you think my Kepa will like these?” asked Jaehaera, holding up a tulip.

“He’ll love them” replied Vaera smiling.

“Can I pick flowers too mama?” asked Rhaegar quietly.

“Of course, you can sweet boy” said Vaera.

Rhaegar squealed excitedly as he humped off his mother’s knee and joined Jaehaera.

“What about this?”

“Rhaegar, that’s a weed” sighed Jaehaera rolling her eyes.

“Oh” muttered Rhaegar sadly.

“B-But it’s got pretty leaves, maybe we could include it” suggested Jaehaera smiling.

Rhaegar’s face immediately brightened up and he nodded eagerly.

After half an hour, it was beginning to get a little bit chilly, so Vaera decided it was time to head inside.

“Right, let’s take those flowers to your Kepa” said Vaera as she took hold of Rhaegar and Jaehaera’s hands.

“Ser Arryk” called Vaera.

“Yes, Your Grace?”

“Would you be so as to escort us to Aegon’s chambers?” asked Vaera.

“Of course,” replied Ser Arryk.

Vaera and the children followed the knight to Aegon’s chambers in silence, the only noise echoing around the corridors was the clanking of Ser Arryk’s armour.

“Kepa. We brought you flowers” cooed Jaehaera as she kissed her father’s forehead.

“They’re beautiful” breathed Aegon.

Jaehaera smiled as she snuggled into her father’s arms.

“I-Is that a weed?” asked Aegon.

“Rhaegar picked them. Jae said they had pretty leaves” replied Vaera.

“I have to agree” muttered Aegon.

“When will you get better Uncle Egg? asked Rhaegar.

“I’m not sure, but I hope its soon”.

“Me too. I miss you Kepa” whispered Jaehaera.

“I’ll be back on my feet soon, don’t you worry”.

“Maybe mama will get better soon as well” said Jaehaera hopefully.

“Let’s hope so” said Vaera quietly, as she noticed a single tear slide down Aegon’s cheek.

The death of Jaehaerys had devastated Aegon more than anyone realised. His devastation was also coupled with the guilt that he’d not been a good father in the first place.

Since the death of his son and nephew, he vowed that he would try to be a better man, a better father, and a better husband.

Loving Helaena as his sister was easy. It was loving her as a wife that was difficult.

“Have you heard from Aemond recently?” asked Aegon.

“No. But no news is good news, right?” muttered Vaera.

Aegon reached forward and took Vaera’s hand in his, trying to offer his good sister comfort.

Suddenly their was a loud bang and screams were heard.

“W-What’s going on?” asked Aegon shocked.

“I’m not sure, I’ll go check” replied Vaera.

Rhaegar and Jaehaera huddled closer to Aegon as Vaera left the room.

Ser Arryk who had been standing guard outside the door, was nowhere to be found and there were no other guards around.

So, Vaera made her way slowly down the corridor to one of the secret passageways.

After managing to squeeze through the gap, Vaera cautiously walked through one of the secret corridors. If something was wrong, it was better to keep out of sight, and soon she found herself squeezed into a secret alcove attached to the Throne room.

There was a sudden rush of footsteps and Vaera peered through the gap in the stone, to see what was happening and what she saw made her blood run cold.

“Rhaenyra. You must stop this madness before it is too late.” said Alicent.

“Madness?. You speak of madness? One of your sons steals my birth right and the other murders my Luke, and you accuse me of madness?” sneered Rhaenyra.

“My son stole nothing. He is Viserys first-born son and Aemond did not murder Lucerys. It was you who had assassins sent into the Red Keep to murder innocent children, one of them your own grandson” said Alicent squaring her shoulders.

“That was not my-“ said Rhaenyra.

“Do you have any idea how your daughter has suffered because of your cruelty?”

“A necessary loss. The brat was part Hightower” quipped Daemon.

“You despicable excuse for a man” spat Alicent.

“Speaking of my daughter, where is she and that other Hightower spawn of hers?” asked Daemon.

“Not here, they went with Aemond to Harrenhall” lied Alicent.

“Lies. The Cannibal still rests beyond the walls of the Red Keep. Vaera is here and believe me as soon as we’ve dealt with you then she will be found” said Daemon.

“Do you intend to harm her?” asked Alicent.

“She supported my usurper, had her Cannibal destroy the Velaryon fleet and she kidnapped my son. My daughter will answer for what she has done,” said Rhaenyra.

“Your daughter is what you made her” snapped Alicent.

“Seize them!” snarled Daemon.

“That will not be necessary. I will cooperate. I am your prisoner. I will go quietly to my chambers, or to the dungeons”

But Daemon only laughed.

“The only place you’re going is to the Seven Hells to be with your precious gods.”

Otto roared in anger, and jumped protectively in front of his daughter even as the remaining Kings guard surrounded them. Not that it helped.

Ser Rickard fell first, slain by Ser Harold Westerling and soon all of the remaining Kings guard were dead, leaving their defence solely in the hands of the castle guards. And to their credit, they fought bravely. They did not stop fighting until the last of them fell.

Soon, the throne room was strewn with bloodied corpses, but ultimately, the Greens were outnumbered. Within minutes, the Green council was wearing chains, and Rhaenyra was climbing the steps to the Iron Throne.

Seizing Otto roughly, Daemon dragged him in front of the Iron Throne. With his arms bound, he was helpless to defend himself as Daemon forced him to kneel.

Wide-eyed, Alicent turned to Rhaenyra, silently begging for her father’s life, and for a moment, she thought he might be spared.

“Otto Hightower. You are guilty of treason. You are guilty of conspiracy against the rightful heir to the Iron Throne and you are also guilty of being a massive cunt.” snarled Daemon.

And to Alicent’s sheer horror, Rhaenyra didn't utter a single word to stop her husband.

“Send him to the Wall. Let him take the black” cried Alicent.

But it was useless. The look on Daemon’s face said it all. He was not there for justice. He was out for blood.

Otto was not even granted the dignity of last words before Daemon raised Dark Sister and quickly sliced off his head.

Vaera clasped her hand to her mouth, trying not to make a sound as Otto’s severed head hit the stone floor with a dull thud.

She had to get back to Aegon and the children. Now.

Her mother and Daemon would not linger in the throne room for much longer and it would only be a matter of time before they gave the command for their soldiers to tear through the Red Keep.

Picking up her skirts, Vaera ran as fast she could back to Aegon’s chambers.

Bursting unceremoniously through the doors, startling Aegon and the children.

“We-We have to move. Now” said Vaera.

“W-What’s going on?” asked Aegon.

“My mother and Daemon are here. They’ve captured your mother and your grandsire is dead” exclaimed Vaera.

“G-Grandsire is dead” gasped Aegon his eyes wide.

“We have to leave. Now” snapped Vaera.

“I-I can’t walk” said Aegon.

“You have to try. I can’t leave you here. Daemon will kill you”.

“What about Helaena and Maelor?” asked Aegon as he shuffled uncomfortably on the bed.

“They spared your mother, so they’ll most likely spare Helaena and Maelor, they'll need hostages-” said Vaera.

“-How are we going to-“

Suddenly the door flew open, and a haggard looking Ser Arryk came barrelling into the room.

“Where the fuck have you been?” snarled Vaera.

“Apologise, I was helping Lord Strong escape with young Prince Maelor, he intends to take him to Old Town”.

“You’re here now. I need you to help Aegon and get him out of the Red Keep” urged Vaera.

“What about you?” asked Ser Arryk as he hauled Aegon from the bed.

“I don’t-“

“G-Go to Harrenhall. Aemond is there” said Aegon wincing in pain.

“We don’t have much time. We need to leave now” urged Ser Arryk.

“What about Daeron?”

“If he has any sense, he’ll stay in Oldtown” said Aegon.

“Go Your Grace” urged Ser Arryk.

Vaera gathered Rhaegar and Jaehaera in her arms and held them tight.

“Now, I need you both to be quiet. Can you do that for me?” asked Vaera.

Both the children nodded quickly.

“Let’s go” muttered Vaera.

The walk through the secret passageways was tough, as they had to keep stopping for Aegon to catch his breath.

Daemon’s soldiers were now tearing through the Red Keep.

The sounds of shouting, banging and screaming echoed through the Red Keep.

“You need to get the dragon pit” said Vaera.

“What about you?” wheezed Aegon.

“Cannibal rests outside of the Red Keep, the secret passage just past Balerion will take me too him” replied Vaera.

“Get to Harrenhall. Tell Aemond what’s happened” urged Aegon wincing as Ser Arryk picked him up once more.

“I will” said Vaera nodding.

“Take care of my daughter.” replied Aegon.

“I promise”

“Be good for your aunt Vaera my butterfly. I’ll see you soon” said Aegon.

“I will Kepa” said Jaehaera quietly.

“It looks good on you” quipped Aegon.

“What does?” asked Vaera.

“The crown”.

“I forgot I was wearing it” exclaimed Vaera.

“Go Princess. It won’t be long before the passageways are searched,” said Ser Arryk.

Vaera nodded and spared Aegon one more glance before she led the children down another darkened tunnel.

[roses-dreams-andthorns]

May I request Epel, Ace, Deuce and Jack with a gardener reader that plants and grows her own fruits and vegetables?

Awww! little gardener Reader!

so sorry for the lateness on requests!! Trey has been busy with school again-

Ace

He pretends he doesn't care, but in reality, he thinks its really cute that you have your own little garden. There are times where he can't help but watch you wander around checking on your flowers and crops, watering them or pulling out weeds when needed. you sometimes bring him flowers freshly picked from your garden, and sometimes vegetables too. He now refuses to eat any kind of store bought vegetable. They have to be your home grown ones or he will not even lay a hand on that plate. He also enjoys your fruits as well, the cherries you grow always taste so sweet, and they're perfect for cherry pie, so if you can bake too, make sure you make him some, he'll love you forever after that! He also finds it so cute whenever you come back inside from gardening, and you've got dirt and grass all over you, he makes fun of you for it. (lovingly)

Deuce

He finds it so adorable! Also very convient as well, seeing as you don't really have to buy store bought vegetables or fruits, and the flowers are always so pretty to him. He's willing to help out in the garden if you ever need it. Need some plants watered fast? he's got his own watering can and is ready to help! Need help harvesting fruits? he's got a ladder ready to climb up and grab any high up fruits for you. Can't get some stupid weed out of the ground? He'll use his strength to pull it out for you! He's so helpful and you're always so grateful for it. He doesn't mind getting a bit of soil and dirt on his hands if it means he can spend time with you and help you out! He's also happy to recieve any flowers you give him, and he'll try his absolute best to take care of them well!

Epel

He's got a bit of experience in farming himself, seeing as he is from Harveston... which literally has "Harvest" in the name... Also slightly reminds me about Harvest Moon or Animal Crossing... He's especially experienced with dealing with the fruits, he'd be happy to help you out a bit, and he loves the apples that you grow so much, they always turn out so sweet and perfectly ripe. I'd like to imagine you have almost all 7,500 different varieties of apples growing in your lovely garden, and him being able to try all these different types always makes him happy and excited! Though he isn't particularly experienced in the flowers department, if you gift him any from your garden, he'll try his best to care for them!

Jack

Seeing as he has his own cacti, he must know quite a bit about gardening, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping you if you asked him nicely. Need the plants watered? Sure, he can help. Stupid weeds again? He's got it covered. He also enjoys the large assortment of fruits and vegetables you have. He always makes sure to come by for some food every now and then, he just can't resist the taste of your home grown foods! If you were to give him flowers, he'll take care of them as if they were his own children, and if they do wilt... he'll be sad...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Fun fact about Trey... Trey also has their own tiny garden around their house- its been unused for a few years now tho

[verdemoun]

So I have a new idea for a hypothetical ask. All the parental figures/old folks meeting up. Hosea, Bessie, Darraugh, Hamish, Lenny’s dad That’s mentioned in his letter possibly, Grimshaw, Dutch and the less parental Strauss, and Uncle

I would love them to just get to hang out together and in some cases away from the rest of the gang’s shenanigans (c’mon let Hamish and Hosea and Darraugh have there own shenanigans!!!) Plus I am a sucker for any hypothetical Hamish content and Hosea and Grimshaw are two of my favorite gang members :>

this made me laugh hypothetical au where the known parents of the gang turn up for no reason and get into antics

it feels like an intervention with darragh, mr summers, the duffys and later grimshaw and bessie all chiming up to yell at dutch and hosea What the everloving FUCK did you do to our boys. look at them. they have anxiety.

dutch tries to defend himself and hosea has to give him the shut up look because his talk of ideals immediately backfires when mr summers points out they left lenny to die alone.

the parents magically know what happened in rdr2. darragh and mr summers are instant best friends and are taking turns holding each other back from punching dutch in the face. mammy duffy does land a punch before her husband catches her

dutch and beatrice morgan get along a little too well and hosea is suddenly very thankful they never met because they both have that extra bit of neurological spice in the same direction. maybe it's schizophrenia, maybe it's unspecified delusions of grandeur but they both speak in pretty language that isn't entirely grounded in reality and very much feed that energy in each other.

lyle morgan pipes up about not being surprised arthur turned out to be a killer because there was always something wrong with that kid and hosea beats him with a chair. hamish stops hosea only to take the chair himself and join in. fuck lyle morgan

uncle only turned up to eat popcorn and watch williamson sr and marston sr both drink themselves stupid and then was so mildly infuriated by the display he decided fuck you they're my kids now. tell me uncle isn't the closest thing bill has to a positive male figure in his life in rdr2.

micah bell the second is annoyed at how much micah has slightly improved for the better in modern era. his 'wife' who is instead very proud of her son for finally being the slightly good person she always believed he was capable of being slaps him. dutch joins in punching gross old man who raised son to be as mentally warped as micah is - and that's coming from the master gaslighter himself

in more fun stuff: hamish, hosea and pappy duffy would be fishing pals, sit in silence drinking beer sort. uncle tags along but they aren't convinced he even owns a fishing rod. hamish and hosea have brief conversations about what a good kid arthur is while on the inside they are punching the ground screaming because he has done so well for himself and they're so proud he finally got the chance to just be happy

as much as they loathe dutch for encouraging their boys to be outlaws instead of using his resources to help them rebuild their lives and actually doing good, darragh and mr summers can't stop themselves from getting into pseudo-intellectual debates with dutch and annabelle. they all have really similar ideals about common good but disagree about how it is achieved and it's very amusing to see them get animated about it

grimshaw, bessie, mrs bell, mammy duffy and hosea are also gossips and love nothing more than sitting around drinking coffee and talking about their gaggle of children. also mrs bell is so beautiful and charming everyone is trying to decode how micah was produced. they are all just sharing childhood stories like micah picking weeds to be a bouquet for his mama who he adored and arthur's fishing story and the mission of giving john a bath and you can just tell they all love their kids.

[fandomobbsessedb]

Alastor x F!Overlord! Reader pt2.

~ this is just a continuation of the bottom half of the previous fic!!! I absolutely adored writing this and I’m so glad ya’ll are liking it too!!

Warnings: dead kid, swears, vomit, bullemia, drinking, insane harm to the body, could be kinda mind fucking,weed, mentions of partying and Valentino wanting to gangbang but not actually getting none.

MORE EASTER EGGS!!!!

Taglist: @genderlessdude92 @projectdreamwalker @whitewolfsoldat @sirens-and-moonflowers

Enjoy~

[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]•[]

“Good morning dear!”

“Good morning darling! I have your eggs and bacon ready for you!” I called out to my husband, taking the coffee pot off the stove and pouring two small cups, wiping my hands off on my apron and calling the children down.

“James, Mary! Come down and get your breakfast before you have to get going for school!”

“Coming mama!” I heard from the top of the stairs, I always end up having their father have to drive them anyways, I think they’re doing it on purpose at this point.

“Mmmmm! That smells delicious y/n!” My husband compliments as he walked into the kitchen, coming up behind me he wrapped his hands around my waist and gave my cheek a kiss.

“Oh Vox! Let me go I’m going to spill the coffee!” I giggled out trying to pour our glasses. He took the two cups along with their saucers and set them at the table.

“Well you look nice!” I complimented, his pinstrip suit and sharp neck tie making him look quite dapper. He sent me a smile and whipped out this mornings newspaper from the dogs mouth. “Good boy sparky.” He patted him on the head and gave him a treat.

“Momma momma guess what!!!” Mary ran up to me with her little hands behind her blue sailor dress. James took a seat at the table next to his father pretending to be him. All gotten and sophisticated.

“What is it my darling?” I asked bending down at the waist inspecting her hair to see if it was fit for school.

“I buckled my shoes on all by myself!” She bounced up and down on her red little loafers.

“Oh look at that! You have!” I smiled at her cupping her hands in my cheeks and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “I matched you mama!” She said point to my own red pumps adorning my feet. “Yes darling, now why don’t you go sit and get some breakfast.”

She ran up to the table in excitement, not yet able to reach the chair. Vox picked her up and placed her in the chair, patting her head and serving her some bacon from the plate in the middle of the table.

“Now James, you have little league after school, so you better be going right to practice, if I get another call from Mr.Johnson saying you where out in the field with those “friends” of yours again, your going to be in big trouble mister.” I sternly scolded him, sitting down to eat my own breakfast.

“Yes mom” he looked down embarrassed from our discussion last night.

“Oh cmon dear, let him have some fun occasionally, but James you really should listen to your mother.”

“Okay dad.” He perked up a little and went back to eating.

Playing with the string of pearls around my neck, a bad habit I developed when I became stressed, I tried to not bounce my leg but I couldn’t help but feel this ugly weight on my shoulders.

Standing with my coffee cup in my hand and I walked to where Vox keeps his good liquor, we usually save it for special events but… this feeling… I have a feeling my regular dose of Valium wouldn’t help…

Taking the pristine bottle from the cupboard, I got a flash in my eyes

~ “here you are darling, I got this special blend from a connection of mine on earth, I figured we could celebrate the success of our deal in a more fashioned manor,”

“Oh Alastor that’s wonderful, thank you!” I took the bottle gently from his hands, the heavy glass weighing my hands down.

Popping the cork and pouring a small amount into eachother glass, we cheered then completely disregarded the drink… instead going for each other’s mouths. Missing it like a drug.

“Y/n-“

Clawed hands grab onto my shoulders and I feel the weight of this bottle taken from me.

“Is everything alright dear?” Vox asked, feigning concern .

“Oh, yes I’m just fine, all the chores I need to get done today just making me think a lot.” I replied leaning on him for support, as his hands go to my waist and my arms wrap around his neck.

“Oh dear, why don’t you let me take over for the day and you just go to the salon and get your nails done, maybe see if you can get some extra time on the massage part.” He suggests, starting to pull me away from the cabinet and sitting me down.

I try to come up with a comprehensive anwser but~ I just feel so…… sleepy. So tired…..

Feeling a soft, plush ground now supporting me, I still struggle to come up with a scentence, my head falls to my pillow and I start to drift off.

“Just relax dearest… I’ll take care of everything… trust me….” I turn over and look into my husbands eyes, feeling the malicious intent behind them, yet not being able to…. Actually move my body…. I can’t turn away—

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~click•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

“Hey y/n did you see Vox staring at you during class?” My hellion friend asked me, closing my bottom locker with her tail.

“What? No he wasn’t.” I respond trying to hide my smile behind my books.

“Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? Of course he was.” Helga said, not even bothering to make eye contact with me as she applied more of her lipstick, then closed her locker. “Cmon, Heathers waiting for us in the cafeteria.” She said taking my arm and pulling me along.

“Y/n there you are, I need you to forge a hot but horny love note from Valentino to Marta Doonstick.” She said, flipping her hair over her horns, picking up her pencil and paper and handing it to me.

“Shit Heather I don’t have anything against Marta…” I cringed, this high school drama bullshit is so not fetch.

“You don’t have anything for her either, cmon, it’ll gets Vox’s attention too.” She smirked looking over to Hattie. “Hattie bend over, y/n needs something to write on.”

With an exasperated sigh she turned around, mindful to keep the bottom of her skirt held down, as she let me use her back to forge this note. In the most cursive stylish writing I could manage, I wrote out a whole letter to Marta, from Valentino asking her to come to his party this weekend.

Helga slowly made her way to Marta’s lunch spot, as we watched with intent, I quick glanced over to where Vox and Valentino where sitting. Seeing him chuckle made me smile, as I dazed off about him however I failed to notice his eyes shift to me. When I came to I realized we were in the bathroom, Hazel puking her guts up, and Heather and Hattie fixing their makeup in the mirror.

“Y/n did you hear what I asked you?” Heather whipped around the look at me.

“Um… sorry what?” I squinted at her before looking to her lipstick. I blinked and suddenly I’m in a completely different room, a boudoir with a giant vanity set up, I’m sat in front of the mirror with the same shade of lipstick in my hand, and my top lip done, only… it’s sneered over my cheek.

“Y/n deer, we have to go or we’ll be late for Carmillas meeting.” I looked over to the right of me, my surrounding sight no longer being blurry but clear as the morning sky. A man in a red coat with furry ears and a cane stood there fixing his coat in the mirror.

“Sorry I just… zoned out. I nicked some weed off of Angel earlier and I am, whew, I am out of it.” I responded, taking the handkerchief he offered me from his hand and wiping my cheek off. Handing it back to him our hands crossed and he came up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, I could see his hands… I could feel myself sitting in the stool, seeing the perfume bottles on my desk… yet I couldn’t feel anything.

“Y/n…..y/n………. Y/N!!” I suddenly DID feel the hands on my shoulders shaking me out of it. Heather was still in the mirror, Hazel was in the stall and Hattie was shaking me.

“Huh?” I replied wearily.

“C’mon Hazel let’s take another look at today’s lunch.” Heather smirked and stormed out of the bathroom.

~~~~~

“Hi Velvette, this is today’s lunchtime poll.” Heather said to the pink haired girl, all she could do was click away at her bag phone before rolling her eyes to look at us.

“The exterminators come down unexpectedly, saying their going to kill off all of hell in the next 48 hours, the same day King Lucifer comes to you and gives you 58 million dollars, what do you plan to do?” She asked giving Velvet the handful of copies she printed for her to hand out.

With a forced smile she goes “I would throw and end of the world fashion show, only inviting Hell’s most sovereign overlords and big shots-“

“AND THEN PAY EVERYONE FOR A HELL WIDE GANGBANG” Valentino cuts her off, throwing his hands in the air excitedly. Making a disgusted face Velvet turns away with the papers and walks out going to post them around the school.

I looked over at Vox, hoping he would see it as an indication to answer and not me totally saying he should use the money to whisk me away and go to make our point.

He met my eyes then took a deep breath sitting up a bit more. “Well I for one would want to maybe… find a pretty girl-“ shifting his eyes back to me, “then rent a boat and, row out to the middle of the sea, get some liquor and just, have at it.” He said putting his hands under his chin and tilting to look at me.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“If I was this girl would you keep me safe from the aliens?”

“As long as I could, trust me… with your safety.” His eyes started to become swirly and, my stomach starts to be all twisted… It’s getting like, really hard to… to breath. I feel a weight hold up my hips as I close my eyes and pass out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\click\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Oh hello, did Vox show you around the house yet?” I wrapped around his side, seeing his colleagues in our living room for our dinner party. Perm and Jam brought a nice wine and I had just come back from setting it down in the kitchen.

“So shall we head upstairs?” I asked only for my waist to be pulled back down,

“I’ve got it dear why don’t you go finish making dinner?” He asked adjusting his tie and lighting one of my homemade candles.

“Oh are you sure? it’s really no trouble it’s a slow cooking, the ossobuco won’t be done for another 3 hours.” I double check with him.

“Yes of course go get us some wine or something.”

“But…”

“Trust me dear…. Trust me…. With the tour.” He said holding my face tight and forcing me to look directly into his eyes… from which I can’t look away.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::click:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A ballroom, large and golden and grand awaits me when I get to the palace, my dark blue shimmering dress catching the attention of an elegantly dressed man with a yellow and red suit adorning the space below his rectangular head. We danced through the night yet when midnight struck I suddenly remembered my goal, to come and meet the prince.

*clang* *clang* *clang*

“Oh no… oh dear.” I sat away from the gentleman and stared horrifically at the clock.

“What is it?” My gentleman asked trying to reach for my gloved hand again.

“Oh, I have to go, I have yet to meet the Prince..” I trail off.

clang* *clang* *clang*

“No you can’t leave yet.” He begs trying to follow me.

“Oh no please, I must leave.” I rebound and started to leave… I couldn’t let the Prince see me in rags.

“STOP HER”

I bump into a guard and when I went to apologize I turned to his face and there he was again…

————————click————————

“Alright partner, what are we looking at?” I question putting on some sterile gloves and going to lift the sheet of the stabbed victim when I got pushed away but my asshole of a partner.

“Don’t worry y/n let me handle this.” He said taking the sheet off the body and starting the inspection.

“Ugh, yeah no, last stab case you thought I’d read the neighbor, and Mrs.Santos was an innocent old lady.” I scoffed and shoved him aside only to get elbowed in the ribs. Turning to slap him I looked into his eyes.

“Just trust me….” He spoke lowly, his mouth bleeding just a smidge……..

Why is my stomach queesy-

><><><><><><><><>click<><><><><><><><><

“Get up you peice of shit,” throwing a glass of water on my husband he shoots up wiping his screen off the look at me.

“Who’s Venice?” I yell ready to refill my glass.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??” He yells back now fully awake, I came storming back into the bedroom. “I don’t even know who Venice is!!! What the fuck does that even mean!!? Venice?? That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard in my fucking life!!”

“WHOS VENCIE?” I yell again throwing another glass at him.

“Oh, baby…. Baby baby, me and Val we, we’ve been investing in, in Italy.”

“Oh, you were investing in Italy?”

“Yeah baby, yeah.” He says shimmy up the bed to where I am at the foot of it still with a glass of water.

“You know what, you, your a big fucking liar!!” I throw the glass back at him and storm away.

“FUCK YOOOOU!!!” he yells, throwing himself around the bed. Having a tantrum like our toddler.

|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-click-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|

He leaned in to kiss me with his eyes closed. But I just kinda stood there looking at him.

Quickly sitting his hips back up he looks at me with hearts for eyes on his screen.

“Wow” he laughs out awkwardly.

“You can go now.” I smile at him, my hair bouncing off my shoulders.

“I thought I might stay over tonight.” He smirks.

“Why?” I asked titling my head.

“Cause we’re girlfriend boyfriend.” He shrugs with that smile still on his face.

“To do what?” I ask again still not understanding.

After a pause he shakes his head.

“I’m actually not sure.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“Is it Box?”

“Box is just a really good friend, and this is my dream house, this is y/n’s dream house, this isn’t Vox’s dream house, right?”

“Ah haw haw haw~ right as always”

“Besides its girls night.” I turn to look at the other y/n’s setting up, I see astrophysicist y/n turning on the radio to stream our music when this, earily old love song comes on. I’m meant to turn back to Vox but staring at the radio….. I’m stuck….

“Cmon y/n the presidents here” Hotel owner y/n says going back to brushing bar keeper y/n’s hair.

“She’s right, I am, you’re welcome.” She smiles at me before going back to the hair brushing. I blink out of it and look at my surroundings. I’m standing alone in a dark room… well sitting more like… actually…. I’m tied to a chair. A hanging light turns on and Vox comes into the room.

“Oh Vox there you are, are we in Y/n land anymore?”

“Finally awake y/n.”

“Yeah? I’m so confused where are we?” I ask still smiling at him.

“I want you to tell me where your BOYFRIEND stashes his vault.” He asks swinging a knife around, pulling my hair and nicking my throat.

“OW, what the hell Vox?” I yell at him still struggling against my chair. He pushes my chair down and as I hit the floor, the table to the side of us knocks something over…. It’s my radio!! From y/nland!! It clicks on and as it buzzes through stations my chest starts to feel heavy… wait, where did Vox go? I turn my head to look around for him only to not see him anywhere, sitting up I pick up the radio to try and turn it off.

“Oh hey! How did my ropes come undone?” I ask the air looking around my wrists, not even seeing a red mark. It stopped making noises and just went to static, I saw flashing from the outside of my eyes and turned to look out the window seeing the world flash from a city in the night to …. in between tv stations?

A door to my right creeks open and my curiosity gets the better of me, I leave the radio and make my way to the door, opening it I feel a magnetic pull and fall thro-

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{click}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

“Welcome back we’re here today making a gourmet venison dish, my assistant chef y/n has so graciously prepared all our ingredients.”

I look out to the wall Vox is talking to, I was no longer in my disco outfit, I was in a chef uniform? Looking down my hands were just cutting the vegetables next to me without me even thinking. Vox was preparing the food but I was dazed out… looking past the wall…

“OW!” I yelped, shifting my gaze to my hands when I noticed my hands had been cut…. Multiple times, blinking a bit I realized there were no vegetables…..

••••••••••••••••••click•••••••••••••••••••

“How long has she been in distress?”

“About 22 minutes doctor.”

“Don’t you worry y/n, we’re gonna fix you all up.”

I had blinked again and suddenly I’m being rushed around in a hospital bed, the bright lights flashing above me imparting my vision a bit, but I could still make out two figures, one with big pigtails and one with… a rectangular head…. The only thing really standing out to me was that… I still had my chef clothes on…

——-

I’m wheeled into an operating room where they start to wrap up my hands and….. other stab wounds….

“She’s started on some saline doctor.” I hear a British voice state.

“Good good, let’s get these cleaned out.”

I turn my head over to see a radio in a patients room and suddenly my head goes fuzzy again, I close my eyes trying to drown out the noise, but it starts to grow… and grow… in my head, it feels like my brain is vibrating… I need to get out of here, I… I can’t….

“AHHHHHHH!!!” I sit up, starting to rip the operating sheets that where laying on me off, and running out of the room to the outside of the hospital…. And nobody followed me?

I could feel the stab wounds folding in on my body, like an empty hole all over my insides. I ran, and kept running, not even realizing the scenery changing all around me, all I had was one though, I’m getting the fuck away from here.

Looking behind me I noticed I was quite far from the hospital now, so far I couldn’t even see-

“Ow! What the hell y/n?!” Hazel yelled at me, I had bumped into her on her way out of the cafeteria, her chocolate milk carton spilling out all over her outfit.

“Oh what the fuck.” I yelled to nobody in particular, I looked around seeing I was back at Westbork high school.

“Y/n are you feeling okay? The party you and Heather went to must’ve been a rager. You’ve been off all day.” Hattie comforted, putting my hair up with her scruncci.

“Uhm, I gotta go guys.” I said backing away and trying to run out the door when Heather made eye contact with me.

“YOU! You’re a dead girl walking Y/N!!” She screamed and started chasing me. I booked it towards the door, and tried not to look back but Velvet and Valentino where chasing me too now.

“Y/N darling let’s talk, just stay here at school!” Velvet yelled at me reaching her arm out to try and grab me. I could see the door… it’s right there, so close!

I burst through the door trying to gather my bearings. I reached up to wipe my forehead but my hand was all wet.

I was dripping with water and sitting on my bed,

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

I heard from the other room.

“Oh HELL NO.” I screeched and stood up to try and get out through the balcony in our room. Juuuuuust to trip over something… squishy and hard?

“Hey Mamaaaaaa! You tripped on my baby doll!” Mary scolded me. Sitting up I was now lying face down on our living room floor, Sparky licking at my face… the liquor cabinet open and all the bottles smashed. Sitting up with my hands shaking harder than a washing machine with too many clothes in it, I reached for my baby.

“Mary… sweetie, where’s daddy?” I asked her, scared for the answer but needing to know.

“He’s at James’s game remember?” She said holding onto my chest tight and playing with one of my pin curls.

“He’s there right now?” I inquired holding her head close to my chest. I don’t know what the fuck is going on but I know my babies need me to be there for them. “No he just left a few minutes ago, he said he was going to stop at his office to grab his camera before going to the game. Mrs.Gabole is gonna be here in a few minutes to babysit me.” She responded bouncing up and down in my lap, excited for the sweet elderly neighbor to come and hang out with her.

“Not today baby.” I replied picking her up and scooping Sparky under the other arm, I hurried out to the garage grabbing my purse with my car keys in them.

“Awwww why not?” She whines petting sparky while I buckled her up.

“I’ll tell you later, okay?” I kissed her head and shut the door, jumping into the drivers seat and thinking of the quickest way to get to the baseball field.

In my panic I didn’t even realize how fast I was going through all the stop signs and officers blowing their whistles at me.

“Mommy slow down your scaring me!!” Mary shouted from the back. Snapping out of it I took my foot off the gas and turned to console her.

“I’m sorry baby mama’s just worried for Jam-“

“MOMMY” was the last thing I heard before we were rammed by a large produce truck.

There was smoke clouding my vision, I could feel the blood dripping front my forehead, I couldn’t hear Mary anymore…. But when I turned around she wasn’t in her seat… she was stuck in the back window

Stepping out I saw the damage to my car. I walked over to a field near the intersection and laid down. I feel like I’m in this weird dream, all I can hear is ringing… faint voices of officers and the guy I hit and pedestrians… static…. I could see my vision start to go blurry again, grasping the ground beneath me I tried to stay on this plane… I’m done… I don’t wanna do this anymore….. I want my kids….. I want my bed….. I want…. Alastor……

Closing my eyes I succumbed to the feeling just so that I wouldn’t have to fight it anymore, but when I opened my eyes… I had that. I had a blaring headache, as the feeling came back to my body it felt like I was stuck in a lightning storm and my whole body was electrocuted. But out of all the faces stood above me, painted with worry, there was only one I could pick up on…. His pointy ears and sharp smile standing out amongst the rest.

“Hello deer! How are you feeling?” He questioned, his smile never faltering.

Sitting up I looked around, I was back in the hotel, Husk holding a glass of water for me, Angel dust comforting fat nuggets and the grey one calming the princess.

“You were asleep for a loooong time y/n.” Husk said non-cholantly. “Are you okay?” He got closer to me. Taking a deep breath and not feeling like my chest was duct taped closed, I took another panicked look around…

“……….WHAT THE FUCK”

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AN: HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE I LOVED WRITING THIS I HOPE YA’LL LIKE IT TO

MWAHAHAHAHAHGAA IVE LEFT YOU ON A CLIFFHANGER NOW YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK FOR PART THREE 😘 SEE YOU THEN!!!

If you can pick up on any of the Easter eggs, (places y/n was, objects, storyline) within this chapter or the last one, leave a comment and you can get a sneak peek for chapter 3 ;)

[edwinspaynes]

for the fics - could you write a short snippet of the carstairs siblings just being sibling ya know?

how about them taking little zachary on a picnic and he will not stop trying to eat the pretty flowers or something?

1906

"He's quite lively," Cordelia laughed as she watched Zachary scoot across the grass of St James' park. He pulled it up handful-by-handful in small tufts, offering it to Cordelia as though unformed grass and occasional weeds were a gift fit for a queen. She took them, because if she rejected them...

"He's a little hellion, is what he is," Alastair said, sputtering as Zachary threw grass at his face. "Do remind me why he is so kind to you while he chucks that wretched stuff at me, handful by handful. Have I committed some perceived offense?"

Cordelia whacked her older brother lightly. "I think he is simply expressing his affection for each of us differently."

"You, the queen," Alastair said grumpily, but there was humor behind his tone. "Me, the servant forced to collect and store grass for him."

"Well, he seems to have moved onto flowers now," Cordelia said. "Perhaps you could weave yourself a crown, as you did for me when we were children? No one could argue that you were anything but regal then."

Alastair glared at her pointedly. "I am not wearing a crown made from daffodils, Layla. And even if I were..." He trailed off.

Cordelia turned toward Zachary, following Alastair's gaze. He did not seem inclined to chuck the blooms unceremoniously at Alastair; instead, he stuffed three daffodils into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"Zachary," Alastair chided in a sugar-sweet voice that Cordelia privately planned to mock later. "Do not eat the flowers. They cannot taste good."

"Good," Zachary repeated. "Eat."

"What makes them good?" Cordelia asked, and Alastair glared daggers at her.

"Yum," Zachary said, and Alastair reached out and removed the flowers from his brother's mouth.

"Suppose I take your 'yum' argument as a given," Alastair said, waving the flowers toward Zachary. "These still are not food. They're likely toxic. Bad for the digestion. Not, as you say, good."

Zachary giggled and picked another flower, which Alastair reached out and took.

"I have rather a better idea," Alastair said. "Pick these and hand them off to me kindly, and I will make you a flower-crown. Would you like a flower-crown?"

Cordelia turned to Zachary. "Dadash makes the best flower crowns," she told him. "You ought to seriously consider his offer."

She was sure that Zachary did not understand a great deal of their conversation, but he smiled. "Yes," he said. "Flower crown. Like a hat."

Alastair sighed. "Like a hat," he agreed. "Of course, he thinks that."

And, as Zachary giggled again and threw himself into Cordelia's skirts, Alastair began to weave.

[crazy-writer-101]

The Eyes of a Pigeon

For nearly three summers, four human kids visited the abandoned school. The school wasn’t dangerous. Sometimes,  I would fly above the worn building, but it was difficult since it was a very tall building. The school was surrounded by tall grass fields a long, long way from any other buildings. Once when it was really cold, some guys with bright hats tried to knock down the school, but the kids gathered a bunch of other kids and they staked out in the building for nearly two nights, stopping the glowy guys from taking away the building. 

The kids would go to the school almost every day around the middle of the day when the bright sun would cast an orange kind of glow on the blue right above. There were two boys and two girls. One of the boys would always bring small cans filled with color and after excessive shaking, he would point it at one of the walls and cool drawings would appear. Another boy in this crazy chair with wheels, would always be staring at these stacks of paper that were somehow bound together. One of the girls wore lots of shiny gems and would sometimes help the boy with the color cans, but she would usually be playing with scraps in the building, occasionally picking flowers or weeds. The other girl would pick up a rusty pole and jump around singing songs while dancing wildly. 

They were shorter last year. In fact they were very different from this year. The boy with colorful cans only brought a tall bottle of stinky liquid now. Even if the smell was unpleasant, the boy still drank it. The girl who used to pick flowers, only slumped into a dusty pillow, sometimes rolling some weird looking leaves into a little brown paper, sometimes holding the rolled paper up to her mouth and breathing smoke. The other girl who sang loudly, now sat in one place most of the time, her hands wrapped around her legs that were pulled up to her chest. Small tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. Something was wrong with them. 

It especially started falling through when the second boy stopped showing up. I stopped hearing the turning circles of his chair after summer of this year. The kids slowly began showing up less and less as soon as the leaves changed to a different color and the air got colder. On days they wouldn’t show up, I began to think they would never come back. Then they showed up individually. 

The boy would throw things around and break the windows that weren’t already broken, yelling words that I’ve heard mothers tell their children not to say. The girl who breathed smoke would only go there sometimes to ramble to air about how it ‘wouldn’t approve of her smoking’. Before any guilt can settle her features, she would laugh dryly before mumbling ‘but you’re dead’ and then falling asleep soon after. The girl who cried would go to the old school and only ever cried. Her beautiful hair was always tangled and her porcelain face was redden and drenched in tears. Pain filled her voice as she screamed into the wind things I could never experience and would never want to. I would try to coo to calm her down and sometimes it helped, but sometimes her cries were too loud. 

It broke my little heart every time I saw them be so different from when they were shorter. It was like they were completely different kids. Maybe they are. Are they? Are they different children from last year? Well, what happened to the other ones? No, no, these are the ones from last year. Because the boy used the last of his color cans to paint the other boy’s wheelchair that was empty of the boy who always sat in it. Because the girl bundled the last flowers she picked into a bouquet wrapped in a black transparent fabric. Lace, I think she said? Because the tear-stained girl sang a sad song to the fields. 

I was flying across town one day. I had just been bitten on the leg by a stray dog. He was skinny and looked hungry and if it didn’t end with me dying, I would’ve stayed and helped him find food. My leg hurt and I felt whatever I had eaten early coming back to exit my mouth. I swallowed it back down and kept flying even in pain. 

I flew to a familiar place that usually had a familiar smell; freshly baked bread. It came from the window of a small room in a tall building. I flew to the window that was cracked slightly open, not enough for me to fly through. Everything seemed normal except for the fact that there was no fresh bread and no one in the small room. An older woman, however, burst through the door, wailing and screaming. An older man rushed in after her and held her tightly as she slowly fell to the ground. Both of the people were familiar because they were the same people that were with the girl with the pretty voice every morning and every night. Except the girl wasn’t here. Hopefully nothing terrible has happened to her. 

I pushed off the ledge with pain and began flying again. The sun was barely setting behind the old building so the kids should be at the abandoned school now. I took two lefts and a right and before I took another right and passed the clean school where the kids went almost everyday too, I saw a lot of bright lights. Red and blue flashed rapidly and my mind hurt a little bit. I moved to get a better look at the unusual activity and almost crashed into a window. Kids were crying and more were shaking. I cooed a little in hopes of the crying to stop. Like times before, it did nothing. Before I could fly away, I noticed a familiar face. Two scary men were hauling out the boy that had colored cans. But now his hands are colored and stuck together behind his back. His eyes were tearstained and he looked so sad. So sad. 

He got shoved into the back of a box with wheels that flashed red and blue. He didn’t come back out after a second. And another second. I didn’t realize until later that was the last time I would see him. I flew up towards the orange up above and began making my way to the old school. The wind felt colder tonight. My feathers didn’t do me mercy like all the times before. I kept flying all the way to my destination. When I got there, only one kid was there. The girl who breathed smoke. She held the little magic stick in her hand as she sat against a wall. I fought against the silly little voices in my head, and flew down through a broken window. Landing a couple feet from the girl, my leg burned with pain. The girl looked down at me with glassy eyes and smiled softly. 

“You hurt, bud?” She muttered, reaching her hand out to me. I flinched and shuffled back a little. She looked at me sympathetically before putting the little stick between her fingers up to her mouth and breathing more grey smoke. 

“It’s okay. I ain’t gonna hurt you. I have no reason to. My friends are gone. I’m gone,” her voice was shaky and it looked like she might cry, but she never did, “I’m leaving this town. And all my memories with it. Including them.” 

She breathed and looked toward the entrance of the school that had no doors. You can see tall grass for a long time. I cooed softly. She let out a dry chuckle without looking away from the field. She sniffed and I could see tears threaten to spill from her eyes. Nothing fell though. No tears ever fell since the air got colder and the others slipped away. She needed to cry, but she never did. 

“I really wish we can go back to being little kids,” she muttered. Her voice cracked and she sniffled again. Some sort of darkness covered her features. Suddenly that same dark feeling pulled at something inside my chest. I had no idea what it was but it didn’t feel well. I wanted to make things better, but there was nothing I could do. 

After that dark day, I never saw any of the kids again. I spent many warm summers and cold winters going to the abandoned school, hoping they came back. I spent too many summers and winters, pretending they would come home. It hurt my chest each and every time they didn’t show up. They were gone and, after a long time, my leg stopped hurting. So did my chest. I felt happy. I flew, now, above the orange and blue. The air was no longer cold nor dark. I stopped worrying about the kids and the abandoned school when the boy in the wheelchair told me everything was okay.