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annetteblog · 4 years ago

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Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone.

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??”

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance.

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly.

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

/as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet.

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed.

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience.

P.S. And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian. i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

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kanene-yaaay · 5 years ago

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Patton has a secret ~

Kanene’s note: *read the speech I decide to write here* Hmm...

Caham.

*Throw away the paper* Is just a lot of fluff. Like... just fluff. No drama, no angst, no action, no adventure, maybe fiction, but a lot of fluff. :v

... I should try to write others genres... xDD

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Patton and Ler!Roman/Ler!Virgil (Just a itsy bitsy of Lee!Virgil and Lee!Roman).

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 3500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* My first Sanders Sides Tickle Fic finally translated!!! Yayyyyyyy!!! \0\ /0/ \0/ *jazz glitter hands*

* Here the fanfic in Portuguese (brazilian’s one!) ! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Watch a fun video and drink hot chocolate water! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

In fact, with how times Patton took care of the other three (and sometimes, five) members of the Mental Palace it could almost be seen as a hobby, a piece of his routine even. But he just could not help or stop himself from doing something when he knows to have in his own hands a world of possibilities for lighten up their, rainy or not, days and paint in their faces a smile, even when it was a light embarrassed one. This was a little something that worked as if he was brighten his own days.

And that reason was what it was so… strange to watch them turning the table.

In the days very after the conversation they had, followed by his room visit (think about that still giving bittersweet shivers down his spine), at least one time and for a few minutes in the day, all the spotlights switched to the quartet’s cat lover.

Just as this morning, when he was woken up by a battalion of cuteness and love consisted by fifteen puppies summoned and carefully deposited in his bed by Roman, who doesn’t waited much to yell an order to “ATAAAAAAAAACK!”. Leading an awake from an extremely confused Patton, which was immediately subdued by licks and small barks doesn’t taking long to rip out happy giggles and squeal from the one who wore cardigan.

Or, even like those random moments in the day when no one is around and Virgil feels absolutely comfortable to wrap him up in a calm, filled with more signification which words could archive, hug. That time when Patton controls himself to not squeak (too much) loud, especially on those others pieces of time when the aspect of Fight or Flight eventually ended up changing to canals with Patton’s favorites cartoons, claiming between (fake) annoyed murmurs that “There isn’t anything better on TV.”

And also, there was Logan. Oh, Lo… Maybe never before, except celebrations, had Patton received so many gifts. They went from interesting books to soothing songs playing in his room’s background, expressing all those feelings that so much confused the duo with the same glasses. Morality liked this approach equally. Most of the songs sang that everything would be okay.

In the end, even if all of it were… different, new, Patton couldn’t deny that loved every second of it.

And maybe it was for all these pampering, however he started to feel a bit freer to demonstrate a little more of him, little by little… For that reason (or maybe feeling?) that some days after all the new occurrences he found himself asking Roman to summon him a tablet. Sure, he summoned one by himself, albeit Roman’s conjurations have always been the ones that spilled the most amount and shiny details, creativity, wonderfully, coloring in the Mind Palace.

This was some weeks ago. Some fast, full of giggles and blush weeks since his very newest discovery on internet. May or may not the only one to blame for his full-sleep nights shrank in order to increase his searching time.

“Tickly Community”

Just thinking on these words already unleashed warm waves through all over his face as involuntary as his began of smile and that soft and cozy sensation intertwining his heart.

Tickles, he squirmed quickly, one of the purest and simplest way to show someone trust and affection. A normal activity to improve bonding, which some disliked and others loved.

And Patton knew very well in which group he was.

It was kind of an addiction, or even a fellow, as he preferred to imagine. Making itself present not only when he turned on the electronic device, but in any and every time of the day. It seemed like a little angel with cat ears and cute voice who liked to appear from absolutely nowhere to say how much every activity in the day would be incredibly better just adding a few pokes, squeezes and sweet, uncontrollable laughter here and there.

And don’t even get him started with the movies, cartoons and series, which, unfairly, insisted in dropping one (sometimes more) tickle scene when he was the least prepared as he could be. Patton swore that in these moments he lost all the control on his body: he always felt being ‘too much smiley’ (even when he brain ordered him to stay serious… Well, he always was more a heart guy than mind one, anyway), ‘too much agitated’, looking at the movie ‘too much’ and always ending up in a mental battle, posteriorly, to choose which one was his favorite (spoiler alert: He always picked all and re-watched them.)

His fingers typed the URL he already knew by heart, snuggling further on the couch as the links appeared in his face. The one in cardigan (since his onisie was washing) loved reading stories gravitated around this subject. The descriptions made imaginary fingers dance in each one of his tickle spots… or at least that ones he suppose that were his spots. It had been few years since activities like that didn’t happened with Thomas or in the Mind Palace, so the freckled side didn’t knew if he stilled susceptible as used to be. Uurg. Think about this made him sad, so, the moral side decided focus on the arts in the art ahead.

Maybe hours or minutes have passed. He couldn’t say, however he could confirm that watched something around three absolutely adorable tickle videos and was in his fifth story whe-

- OH PATTON, MY PATTON – The high pinch scream together with the little jump gave by the called as answer seemed to amuse the prince, his stunning smile increasing. – What are you watchin’? – He let himself fall in the furniture’s arm, close from where Patton’s head rested, leading to the other automatically turn off the tablet in a hurry.

- Oh, nothing, nothing. – The group’s father waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. – Just some new cakes recipes! Thomas overbought Crofter’s and I’m not fire, but I want to help burn the stock! – Both giggled.

- You looked very happy. – Virgil couldn’t stop himself from the grin growing in his face, proud when the representation of morality released his second scream in such a short time, seeing as he truly didn’t notice the second which the purple lover laid in the other corner of the couch. His eyes shined as he saw red spreading across Patton’s cheeks.

“The world goes round.”

- W-when d-did you- for a heartbeat of moment he shuffles in his own words, stumbling in the letters and almost losing himself, taking a second to his face stabilized in a smile and the words stopped falling out his mouth. A bothersome sensation showed in the stomach of the other two sides, realizing how much trained and good at controlling his feelings and expressions he was. Maybe they saw a little of themselves in the act. – You know how much I love appreciate this little things. – Smile.

- Ho ho!! – The resounding laughter from the royal side made itself present as he approached even close to Morality, ignoring any and every signification of ‘Personal Space’. – It sees that nuestro padre is hiding something. ~

Maybe it was the Lee Mood attacking, maybe it was for how that specific phrase had sounded immensely with thousands of the dialogues he had read and which still spinning around his mind; It could even be the playful way they were going. However, Patton could only continue giggling and squirming in attempts to dodge from Roman’s efforts to take the device in his hands, being pretty good at it, something that definitely annoyed the Creativity’s aspect, causing him to let out a exasperated snort.

- Any help, Stormcould?

- I thought princes were ‘self-sufficient’. – He made quotes with his fingers, probably a reference to some fight of them.

- Wha… And we are! Even more when people like you force us to do all the work! Come on, you want to see this too! Another hand here would be nice!

- Tch. Can’t. – Virgil clicked his tongue, irony pouring out his lips as he raised his hands. – I only have mine.

The angry expression from the prince comically mixed up with the euphoric Patton’s squeal, who jumped to a sitting position, moving with more facility closer to the one wearing a hoodie.

- Was that a pun?? – His eyes seemed like could bright the starts by the way they were shining. Virgil’s eyes widened, hiding in the hood while mumbled a ‘no’, half-annoyed, half-awkward and half-happy for be the one who put that smile in the other’s face.

- Ah há!! – The victorious expression quickly took place in Roman’s face as he got the tablet. – Great distraction, my gothic subject!

He clicked the ‘Turn on’ button.

- No! Wait!! – His voice possibly raised a little bit than normal, ora little shakier, or even desperate. Patton stretched quickly, seeking to retrieve the object. He didn’t really know how to explain the suddenly panic. He always dreamed in telling this secret to the others, but… Now this possibility was too… real. He was afraid, afraid that they found it weird, didn’t liked it, felt forced in some way or didn’t really understand his liking and interpret it wrong and… In just that millisecond, Patton feared about all of it and something else at the same time.

The duo looked alarmed, and this made he doubt the reason of his fear. They were his adorable kids, his famILY with eccentric likes just as him. His sons who took care of him. He felt silly, but it didn’t change the glares in his direction.

- Roman… - A light threatening started to take strength in Virgil’s tune.

- Sure! Here you go, padre. – With a big flourish, he handed over the tablet. An apologetic smile in his features, a slightly deeper look in his glare. – I hope you to know that I was just messing with you! There is no greater honor than keep safe our secrets! - Winked, getting up, a hand resting in the chest while the other one gestured in a non-stop rhythm. – And, if is a matter of honor you can count on me to give my life into order to protect and safeguard it! – He bowed, holding Patton’s hand and kissing it, instantly dissolving the fear in the said aspect in an excited smile.

- Oh! Let me give back your kiss, then! – The moral side pulled from his pocket a Kisses’ candy bag, tossing it at Roman, who reflexively grabbed.

- Do you… Do you really have those on the pockets just for the dad joke?? – Virgil asked giving the question up as soon he saw Patton rolling his eyes, biting excitedly his tongue’s tip while shrugging.

- … No?

- They are really good! – The prince exclaimed, his voice muffled by the dozens candies he had put in his mouth and now was trying to chew. Patton felt a hand delicately hold his shoulder.

- You know we never would force you to share something you are not comfortable, right?

- Of course I do, kiddo. – The heart’s representation soothed his smile, deflecting his gaze to his lap, where the tablet calmly rested. The way both acted… so sweet and adorable…

He didn’t even knew of what he was afraid at the first place.

- But…no. – His words come out before anything stopped them. – I want to tell.

This automatically caught their attention, interest sparkling on their expressions. Sure that they were the most comprehensible as possible with the paternal aspect, however this didn’t change the flame of curiosity created by the situation in their minds, which was inflamed even more right now. Patton turned on the device.

- It’s a really silly thing… - Virgil lightly squeeze his shoulders in an encouraging way. Roman moved a little more closely and was gifted with the tablet, now unblock, being deposited on his hands. The words floated from Patton’s lips before his brain or fear could do something to stop them. – But I like tickling!

His speech come out fast and low, he raised up his eyes for a second before lowering them at equal speed and started to play with the cardigan’s tip between his fingers. Patton was a person of a lot of expressions and gestures and hops and joy, albeit this time he was just quiet, slightly embarrassed as the blush on his ears could say.

And happy. A relieved happiness for don’t need to hide anything anymore.

- Patton. – The one with glasses looked up, just to find Virgil struggling with a grin until he gave up on the battle, letting it take over his face. Patton lighted up with expectantly, feeling like he had putted a piece of his soul in the two aspects’ hands and asked ‘So…?’ – This is… - He shook almost imperceptibly his head, his voice took a softer tune, his smile gave away to a serious face. – There is no problem in liking this you know that, right? We will not going to judge you. – Virgil bitted a little his lip, the grin coming back. – To be honest this is…

- ADORABLE!! – Patton was thrown on the couch. Roman having jumped in him, his smile was stunning and his eyes twinkling dangerously. – ABSOLUTELY, INCREDIBLY, ADORABLY ADORABLE!

The cats lover just could giggle, ignoring the heat in his face growing up more and more as he spoke a couple of dad jokes. Virgil’s head appeared besides the prince’s shoulder, almost hided by it. He deposited the tablet on the coffee table, a dishonest smile shining as a sign warning dangerous. Patton felt a mix of anxiety and anticipation transforms to little butterflies in his stomach.

- Yes. Extremely cute.

He felt amazing.

- Oh, kiddos, it’s because of your influence! – Refuted. Half smile, half truth.

The dangerous spark in the pair of eyes seemed to sprawl even more as they stared him. Roman experimented to wriggle his fingers on his direction. Patton squirmed, a new wave of small, bouncing laughs escaping from his lips.

- It seems like our padre is full of giggles. ~ - He pretend to attack a couple of times, delighting himself with the squeaks and bubbling snorts that came as answers from the Morality’s representation.

A different squeal came out from Patton’s mouth, making the prince turn around just to see Virgil lightly tracing a finger in the other’s foot. There was a grin in his features. – I ask myself where they come from…

- V-virgihihihihil, deheheheheheahahar! Nahahahaha!

- I also question the same thing, my nebulous friend, BUT, not to worry! I bet the entire fabric is right here! - Patton followed Roman’s hands, which spin in some flourishes before reach his sides, light scratching they and leading another yelp to pour out from the cat lover, who could swear that he would melt with all the teasing.

- Ro, oh Ro! Pleheheheheheheheheheheasehehehehe! Roho, no teahahahahahasing!

- Don’t worry, padre! I shall help you with this awful case of endless cute laugh! – He squeezed his sides just some more times, increasing Patton’s struggling before lift his dancing fingers. - The cure should somewhere around… - He started to move his fingers, quickly spidering up and down in all his ribs. Patton’s hands shouted to hold him, but he easily dodge them, taking the opportunity to give some special attention to the victim’s armpits. – Here!!

And then, when his laugh, real belly laugh, started to fill the air, it was only then when Patton began to realize that this wasn’t a dream. The joyful filled him almost as quickly as Roman scribble his fingers along his sides, raising to his upper ribs and staying there with softs circular motions, appreciating the snorts that interconnected the laughter from the other. Before he got tired and goes down, squeezing and poking every piece of ticklish skin he could research with the shirt raising a few inches from Patton’s fight.

- RO-ROHOHOH! NAHAhahaHAHA! P-pleAHAHAHAHAhahahaseHEHEHEheeee!!

-Oh, my my! It seems like someone can’t even form phrases without being an adorable mess of giggles and squeals!

Meanwhile, Virgil calmly danced his fingertips through the foot of the one in cardigan, tracing illogic standards, scratching his arc, suddenly increasing the speed (and, consequently, the laugh, yelps and snort stream from the moral side) as found the toes. It looks that don’t be visible to Patton’s eyes just made him incredible more ticklish.

- VIR-HIHIHIHIHIGIL!! nahahaHAHAHAHAHA THEre!! Virhihihihihgil – The purple one thought he couldn’t like even more of his name until hear that variation. His heart was melting with all the adorableness. Why didn’t they discovered that before?

- Yes, Patton? Can you repeat? I couldn’t understand with all your laugh!

- Who is the cutest and ticklish side in the Mind Palace? – Roman switched to his tummy, poking and scrabbling, fingers paying attention in every minimum inch achievable and analyzing which one gave the best reactions. Patton struggled, the belly laughter shaking his entire body as getting out. His arms hugged his sides in an attempt to not to stop the tickles. His face burned and the happiness were assuming shape of tears as they accumulated in his eyes’ corner, his smile seemed truly goes to an ear from another, lighting up the entire room. – You know who are, huh, my dear and adorable Patton? – Each world was a scribble in his navel.

- YOHOHOHOHOHOHOU TWOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! NHAHAHAHA!

- Wrong answer. ~ - Virgil refuted, and almost synchronized both attackers started to blow raspberries in his foot and belly. His laughter went silent for a moment.

- RO! VI! NAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! ITHIHIHIHIHIHIHIS ME! MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! PleAHAHAHAHASEHEHE! NAHAHAhahhahahaha!

- I feel like he want to tell us something. – The representation of fear calmly commented as his fingers taking turns between squeeze knees and tights wasn’t leading the Morality to squeal, crackle, yelp and giggle almost at the same time, in a madness which the three loved. – But I just can’t get it, you know?

Patton thought he really, really know, the mean of ‘unbearable’, until Roman went, this time for real, to his armpits and Virgil reallocated himself to rest his thumbs on his waist.

And they attacked.

- NononononoNO! WahahahAHAHAHAHAHAIT!

He didn’t remembered if he screamed, or talked or even had some coherence. Suddenly all his muscles began to struggle and his laughter were faster, real and stronger than ever, among them also came shrieks, snorts and squeals until completely disappear. His thoughts were a mess. His eyes opened from time to time to take glimpses of Roman and Virgil’s affectionate smiles towards him. Tears flowed down his cheeks as joy materialized, a stunning joy, that one which made his head go side to side, up and down and a smile bigger than the Sun open in his face.

- STO-STOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHO-

They got the message, since in any moment before the father aspect got even closer to ask them to cease the attack, and quickly moved away. However, the duo could not stop themselves to appreciate the puddle of reminiscent giggles who was Patton, who now melted in the couch, letting the last laughter end. Wiped the tears and stared Roman and Virgil with the gratitude and happiness so easily to read in his face that made both aspects blush with the intensity, leading the purple lover hide in his hood and the prince smile more.

The moral side jumped, crushing them in a tight, sincere, and kind of clumsy hug due all them be sitting and with many words between the lines.

- Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!– His words comes out as fast as a machine gun, how he had breath for it even after all the tickling, no one really knew.

- You’re welcome, Padre! – Creativity’s representation lightly poked his sides, making him jump. – But be aware that your actions awaked up two insatiable tickle monsters!

Virgil just rolled his eyes. Patton released a fast giggle as answer, and for some reason, the purple felt all his ‘Fight or Flight’ instincts be activated. He squirmed a little in the hug, but the grip didn’t ease. The Morality’s voice came out a bit lower than the normal, but equally comprehensible.

- Oh, no, Roman… - It was like a purr from a feline before the attack. – You were the ones who did.

Logan left his room, having had a very satisfactory reading morning. Automatically screams and laughter entered in his ear field, his eyes lightly widened and he followed the sound, going to the Living Room just to find Roman and Virgil on the floor, Patton between them, his hands tickling both without mercy, leading the melodious sound (he had to admit) which were flying from their lips.

- Who are the two sides with shining and wonderful laughter who the tickle monster love to tickle tickle tickle tickle? – His tune was as a father talking with two babies. – They are you! Yesh yesh! Are you you you!

Logan pondered the situation. Patton was a reasonable person who loved everyone, so he more than possible would stop when realize they have had enough. Not to mention that he didn’t wanted take the risk to being pulled into the game or embarrassing the participants. Especially the one with hoodie, who still gradually getting used with the affection of the famILY and the prince, who sometimes let himself think that he needed to show himself the stronger and flawless figure that the ‘royalty must be’.

Realizing no real danger in the activity that his eyes analyzed, the logic aspect just stay long enough to decorate Virgil and Roman’s ticklish spots, since these could be a really future useful data, before backing to his room, suddenly remembering that there was another book on his shelf waiting for him.

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 5 years ago

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mutuals as tracks from fine line ?? 🥺

Golden - @moonchildstyles

It’s my fav track on the album and it just gives me this familiar soothing glow in my veins that just fills me with so much happiness and comfort and honestly that’s Lindsee to me in a nutshell. She’s so funny and her personality is so bright and I was literally on FaceTime with her for 8 continuous hours and it felt like the day flew by because her energy is just a constant flow of positivity and it’s so easy to get lost in a conversation with her, especially because she’s such a fucking DORK. We’ve been friends since late 2016/early 2017 and we fell out of contact for a while and then she came back into my life at a time where I didn’t even know I needed it and her support just helped me work through a lot. I’m so thankful that we reconnected because I really can’t imagine my life without her. I just love her okay she’s golden and that’s on god

Watermelon Sugar - @iambabyharry

nicole is such a gift tbh like she’s always in my inbox being amazing and hyping me up about my writing and whenever I make posts about a certain fic she’s always one of the firsts if not THE first to like it and reply and engage with me and I don’t think she knows how much I appreciate that like it warms my heart into a puddle and it’s one of those things where you look back at everything collectively and see that this person has been supporting you for a while and it just Hits. The line that specifically reminds me of her is the “baby, you’re the end of June” because seeing her on my dash and in my notifs just gives me that happy carefree feeling that summer brings

Adore You - @hazzlot

Preeti....I don’t even know where to begin, honestly. There’s so many people I’ve met on tumblr and it hasn’t always gone the right way but Preeti is one of the most beautiful, genuine souls I’ve ever had the honor of being friends with. She is just so inherently pure in the sense that she always has nothing but good intentions and I wish I could just make her tiny and have her in my pocket at all times. The whole “I’d walk through fire for you, just let me adore you” is how I feel about her because I would literally defend her with my last breath and I just admire the innocent kindness she has and the way she wears her heart on her sleeve is something so rare in the world and it deserves to be praised. Going off of that, it also coincides with the “You’re wonder under summer skies” because her ability to love so transparently and wholeheartedly is truly a wonder. She’s literally the human embodiment of TPWK.

Lights Up - @sunflowervolumeeleven

MJ is the sweetest thing ever oh my god!!!! She’s supported me and my writing for a while and whenever I post something I can always count on her to be there to give me feedback and build up my confidence in such a gentle, honest manner that I cherish so much. Along with nicole, she’s one of the people who always have my back when it comes to my fics and I always look forward to her replies specifically because she never fails to make me feel like my efforts are being appreciated. Thank you MJ 🥺 you’re the “shine, step into the light, shine, so bright sometimes” that keeps me from giving up

Cherry - @honeyskins

CHEYENNE!!! ISABELLA!!!! What can I even say about Chey...We’ve been friends for years and though we don’t keep constant contact, I feel like she’s a very important part of my life because all the memories I have tied to her are positive and full of happiness and goofiness and just a type of sweet, fulfilling nostalgia. She has a soft spot in my heart and anytime I see her on my dash or get a random little love message from her, my mood immediately lifts. The reason Cherry reminds me of her is because of the line “I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress” and I tie that to how her friendship has had a lasting impact on me and how all of the good times we shared are moments I’ll keep with me forever.

Falling - @imethiminthemorning

The song is obviously sad but it has a certain type of honest, unapologetic rawness to it that Bee also has. We’ve talked a few times and I’ve seen her answer some advice messages on her blog and she just has this kind of wise, self-assured vibe about what she’s saying that shows she is genuinely trying to help others and I praise that about her. So cheers to Bee *toasts with a slice of pan de jamón* to being a beacon of light and trying to guide others with her experiences

To Be So Lonely - @harrykilledmoi

TBSL has this energy where it shows that Harry has grown into himself and into his feelings, what with finally being able to say “I’m not yours anymore so stay in your lane.” The whole song is packed with that sort of sassy finality and sharp confidence that Onyeka gives me. She’s an astoundingly talented creator and she’s not afraid to show it and from the selfies I’ve seen of her, it also translates into her personal style and I bow down to her strong (yet kind) personality and I’m just in awe of her, honestly. You’re a legend, dude

She - @harrysorgasm

Who better to accompany this feral, h*rny, psychedelic tune other than Miss Enjolie Anne. Angel has this shameless, ecastic way about her that draws you in immediately, not to mention she has a crazy hilarious sense of humor that will literally make you break a rib, deadass. She’s weird and quirky in a morbid kinda way and i never get tired of it. Love you, angel 🤪

Treat People with Kindness - @strawberriestyles

This song reminds me of Laney because she’s always been nice to any and everyone I’ve seen interact with her and sometimes she’ll just pop into my inbox randomly with a sweet little comment and it brightens me instantly so thank you Laney 🥺 Her writing is just astronomical and whenever she asks me to make a banner for her, I feel so honored to have a part in her bigger picture, even if it’s as simple as a banner. Her personality reminds me of Harry’s little beep boops bc she’s adorable and i love them with my whole heart, just like I love Laney 🥰

Fine Line - @grandpasweaterking

PENNY!!! We haven’t talked a ton but I admire her from afar sooooo much. She’s so sweet and ridiculously funny and I feel like this song is kind-of a grand, cinematic, dramatic piece and Penny gives me the same exact energy with her sense of style and her way of being. Seeing her on my dash always makes my day and her kinda messages always make my heart flutter so thank you so much for everything you do, Penny. And I’ve noticed that even when she’s having a hard time, she always pushes through so the “we’ll be alright” line has become her brand in my head

#mutuals #THIS TOOK FOREVER

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alatismeni-theitsa · 5 years ago

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Do you have any advice for greek people in diaspora who want to de-assimilate? My family immigrated to america when my great grandparents came over, and im kinda struggling to reconnect with my heritage when everyone in my family likes to pretend it doesnt exist. I grew up speaking some greek but even my parents admitted they want to forget all their greek and its really heartbreaking to see

I am sorry your parents treat Greek culture like a secret in the family. :/ It breaks my heart as well. But I am actually amazed that some Greek has stayed in the family from the time of your great grandparents!

To begin, assimilating isn’t exactly bad. Many people through the centuries have moved to other countries and became citizens of the new place in every way. Sure, you leave your old customs behind but you get new ones and you become part of a new community. It’s a natural process, happening since the beginning of humanity. Of course, it comes down to personal choice. Your parents want to not stand out. You want to keep the best of the new culture and the old culture.

I don’t want to assume things about you. Ι am saying this just in case you feel this way: please do not scorn the culture of the place where you live. Every culture is different and interesting, even if it seems mundane to you. The new culture is most likely the bigger part of you and it needs some care, too.

For example, I have spoken to many immigrants in the US and most of them dislike the US. At the same time, through our dicussions, they show me - and tell me - they couldn’t be less American. They had a very different upbringing than the people from their parents’ motherland.

I think it would be best if you got comfortable with both sides of you, the Greek one and the assimilated one. If your children and your children’s children live away from Greece, they will get more and more assimilated. It’s impossible to de-assimilate completely and forever. As many other Greeks, I am planning to leave Greece in a very short time. It’s sad to think my traditions won’t continue to the next generations. But it’s a reality we must face - and we should probably try to be positive about it.

That being said, it’s perfectly fine to have the desire to know more about your roots for whatever reason. So here is my advice to you:

1) You may want to read the history of Greece. All of it, not just from 300 BC to 100 AC as most foreigners do. Preferably, find works that have someone Greek as a writer or supervisor (because Greeks usually try to depict accurately what happened), or writers who truly feel Greece, like Richard Clogg. Our history and pain has shaped the way we look at the world and it’s a perspective you should be familiar with, since you are driving in! (Yes, more depression for everyone!)

2) Learn where your family comes from. Maybe by asking your grandparents or your parents you can learn the exact place/town or the geographical compartment of your family. Look for the specific dances and traditional costume of that area from YouTube videos or a Greek community in your area! See if the people there were great warriors, great merchants, great wine producers. See if there are any Greek heroes of the 1821 revolution coming from your place!

That may need lots of Google searching but I think you will get somewhere. I am also availiable if you want me to give you more information about a specific place.

For every Greek tribe there is a tag on my blog, like #macedonia, #epirus, #thrace and more. I have tags for most of the towns, too! You can also search for the different Greek “tribes” (Pontiacs, Kappadokians, Thracians and so on) which are often named after the place they lived. Everyone falls into some of them and you probably come from one (or two) as well!

3) Learn some more Greek. I suggest that because learning Greek means learning how Greeks think. I suppose you know the basics but how about the 20+ weird phrases we have to playfully say someone is gay, like “he flogs the dolphin”, “he shakes the pear tree” etc. What about the Greek phrases which stem from war and pirate raids and… hating the Turks?? How about the Mediterranean expressions like calling a mole “olive” or saying “I am in an open sea” when we feel lost, or saying “he pressed my oil out” when someone tires us?

Greekpod101 on YouTube will help you learn the basics and a little more! They also have a site. But basically going on Youtube and typing “learn Greek” will do the trick. For more weird or advanced stuff you can look at my tag #learn greek and #greek language.

4) Greek memes - Greek diaspora social media. They are surprisingly educational! @hooplagreeks on instagram is one of my fave meme profiles! Watch youtubers of Greek diaspora as “Greek in the City” or the Greek comedian Basile! On instagram you may want to follow @greekfestvictoria (videos of Greek dances and people, and photos of the community) and @newdiaspora (“a digital storytelling platform, focusing on the new generation of Greeks living abroad during the crisis in their homeland”) and @ greek_diaspora (some things for Greek culture).

On my tag #greek diaspora you may find more people like you! Some have asked me similar stuff so I may be repeating stuff in those posts as well.

5) Cook/eat Greek food. If your grandparents and mum know recipes, take them as if they are gold. It’s a great way to get familiar with the local Greek ingredients and the Greek palette. Heck, look for Greek recipes on the internet and cook them! If you don’t know where to start, my tag #greek cuisine may be helpful.

6) Read Greek classic literature (in Greek if you can, but you can also find works translated in English). Elitis, Sahtouris, Seferis, Venezis, Papadiamantis, Mirivilis, Delta, Empirikos, Zei, Kazantzakis are only a few of the literary gems Greeks have to offer. Enjoy good writing, the Greek perspective, and get to know the newer Greek society in a unique and authentic way. Here is a list with more of them (link).

7) Meet more Greeks! Through groups on insta or fb, through Tumblr blogs etc. Watch youtubers of Greek diaspora as “Greek in Town” or the comedian Basile! Maybe there is one Greek community near you area and you can pay a visit for festivals! (No day, Independence Day, 1st of March, Easter meal, Dance festivals etc). Don’t be shy to go there. From what I have seen, people from all backgrounds are welcome there. Plus, Greeks LOVE showing their culture so you are going to learn a lot of things from them.

8) Be proud. I know it may sound kind of weird but I feel being proud is one key element of being Greek. In every anniversary wars we won, in our schools we sing prideful songs and hang posters with our war heroes, always standing proud. The students and the army parade in the streets the small children wearing traditional costumes (parade is kinda of a facist remnant - ew - but it shows that we want to instill pride even in our children. It has a few positive elements I guess :P). To sum up, be proud of a people who endured natural catastrophes, wars, genocide, famine, occupation, slaughters and slavery and can still stand!

9) Travel to Greece? I don’t know how affortable it is for you and how easy it is but I recommend it. Your tickets don’t need to be for summer. (Honestly, you may want to avoid summer. It’s too hot and too crowdy in tourist areas. Spring is our best season ;). You can come off season and just see the place and meet the people. See the species Grecus Hellenicus in its narutal habitat! Maybe you’ll make some new friends to discuss about Greek culture!

10) Search the tags on this blog. In #greek people you will see Greeks of every era, in #vintage you will find old towns and traditional settings. In #paradosiaki foresia await some of the Greek traditional clothes. #greek language, #greek culture and #greek tradition, #greek festival, #greek music are self explanatory.

I think that’s all I’ve got! Good luck in your journey and I am here if you need anything else :D You can dm me and ask stuff, anything you want! I would be happy to help you get in touch with your roots!

#answered #greek diaspora #greek culture #advice #thepostiamlookingfor

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fae-fucker · 7 years ago

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Zenith: Chapter 24-26

Chapter 24

Andi wakes up in a cell, and can you guess what the inside of the cell looks like?

If you guessed it’s VERY DARK, and filled with DARKNESS that settles into Andi’s BONES (Shinsay is very fond of this metaphor, huh?), you need to leave this blog and never come back because you’ve obviously been here long enough to be permanently damaged by all this bullshit.

But you’re also right. It’s very very dark here, you guys.

So basically this whole chapter is Andi and Dex waking up in a dark cell and ... getting up and out of the cell. That’s it.

I’ll include some juicy dumb bits for you though, because what’s a snark blog without snark?

This could have been her life—should have been her life. Locked away behind bars, awaiting the death penalty, the ghost of her best friend the only thing to keep her company.

This might be a nitpick, but “this could’ve been her life” implies that she’d be locked up for the rest of her life. Which I guess would technically be true since waiting for her death penalty would be the rest of her very short life, but it still sounds really weird. It’s like she’s expecting to wait for ... well, years and years and years, when the previous chapters mentioned her sentencing happening quickly.

That familiar wave of fear spiked through her, and Andi wanted to reach for her swords, to slash and slice and tear apart that piece of herself as she tore apart the bodies of others. Death after death, to cover up Kalee’s. To give herself the kind of fate she deserved.

So Andi harms herself? Does she want to seppuku this bitch up? Why else would she want to physically reach for her real, actual swords? Does she want to actually slice at a metaphorical part of herself?

Also, can I just say that this still doesn’t make a lick of sense? “I technically didn’t murder my friend and technically hate the fact that I do think that I murdered my friend, and I will put a soothing balm on the wound of my soul by murdering even more innocent people, but this time intentionally, thinking I need to kill people for some reason even though I constantly mope about how badly I don’t want to kill people!”

Makes ... no sense. This is why her characterization is so bad, Shinsay can’t commit to the “soft, compassionate, uwu bean” side of Andi because that would make her NOT COOL AND BADASS AND WEAK, but they also barely touch the “RUTHLESS MERCENARY” side of her because that would make her morally ambiguous and we can’t trust the reader to make up their own mind about her, can we now? Nor can we write anything that complex but that’s another debate.

Anywhoo, Dex wakes up and fingers Andi in the dark.

She didn’t even flinch away as his fingertips scraped hers and he froze.

Gotcha.

Then we get a ... joke? I think it’s supposed to be a joke, at least. Someone teach Shinsay how to be funny and how to translate comedy into text, please!

“Please tell me this is Andi, and not some love-hungry Xen Pterran carriage slug named Stubby.”

Despite herself, Andi laughed. The massive slugs were gruesome, oily beasts that tried to bed anything with a heartbeat.

If there was anything this story was missing, it’s oily fuck-slugs.

Thank you for that, Shinsay.

Also ... “bed?” Are you telling me these slugs, that seem to be used to pull carriages, take their (dubiously willing) partners ... to bed?

Shinsay, I get that you physically cannot get off SJM’s massive throbbing cock, but you’re not actually writing a faux-medieval fantasy book, ok? You’re writing a SUPER EDGY AND MATURE space opera, with all sorts of edgy violence and references to sex in it.

I don’t understand how bad your cognitive dissonance must be if you can invent rapey fuck-slugs, but don’t have the guts to say “fuck” or even “sex.”

Are you afraid your moms will read this? Is that why this is all so coy and immature as hell?

That’s what gets to me tbh. This book is too inappropriate to really be for younger YA audiences, but it’s also far too childish to be anything but laughable for older teens and young adults.

Dex and Andi have completely pointless banter as they try to get out of their cell. I find it very convenient that they ended up in the same cell, but ok.

Andi sticks out her tongue at Dex after he mildly insults her like a super cool ruthless murderess and not at all like a five-year-old.

We also get several mentions of the fact that Andi’s wrist cuffs can give off light, because I guess Shinsay are very proud of that particular high tech sci-fi invention.

It’s very very very very dark, like SUPER dark, and Dex asks Andi if she’s scared.

She feared a lot of things.

Loneliness. Losing the lives of her crew or damaging her ship beyond repair.

But not darkness. That was a part of her; the very thing that had allowed her to survive for this long.

I had to read that, and now so do you.

The thrill of the moment had arrived.

Without a word, Andi took a step forward, shedding the weakest parts of herself as she allowed the Bloody Baroness to take over.

Let’s wait until Andi becomes all sad and mopey over this again.

Does this woman have ONE consistent personality trait?

Dex followed, and together, they left their empty cell behind.

Are you sure it was empty? And not full of DANK DARKNESS?!

Anyway yeah, it took Andi and Dex one entire chapter to wake up and leave a room.

So this is how you pad your word count ...

Chapter 25

We’re in Dex’s POV. They take care of a couple of guards, and by that I mean Andi does a couple SICK FLIPS and Dex is very impressed.

“Godstars, Andi,” Dex said now as he leaned over to inspect the corpse.

The key looked strangely at home in his eye socket, perfectly positioned in the center, as if Andi had placed it there with an artist’s flair.

Ok, I’ll give Shinsay credit and say that this is reasonably evocative and Dex does admit that the key strangely looks at home in the guy’s EYE, but the “artist’s flair” thing ruins it completely. When you think “artist’s flair,” you don’t think of someone forcefully shoving a blunt object into someone’s eye, you think of a fancy shmancy person doing a little elegant flourish with their hand, like painting the delicate eyelashes of some noblewoman.

Even when Shinsay manages to write something that’s actually rather imaginative, they ruin it by adding more guff that simply doesn’t fit and is only there to slap on more “pretty prose” and make Andi sound awesome and pad the damn word count.

Furthermore, specifying that it’s “perfectly in the center” doesn’t mean anything. If you manage to pierce a person’s eye with a key in the first place, there’s little margin of error, assuming this was a human and not an alien with abnormally large eyes with lots of options for key placement.

If you want to take the absurd imagery of the key “belonging” in the eye further, here’s what I’d suggest:

“Godstars, Andi,” Dex said now as he leaned over to inspect the corpse.

The key looked strangely at home in his eye socket, and Dex felt as if he could just lean down and twist it and open the man’s face like a door.

Dex seems deeply horrified by Andi’s actions for reasons I cannot fathom, seeing as he’s the one constantly bragging about how he taught her everything she knows.

When Andi explains to him that she had to kill the guard to make sure he didn’t sound the alarm and summon more guards, Dex has a really dumbass realization:

As Dex stared at her, he suddenly understood the bare truth.

There was no remorse in her eyes for the kills. Not even a flicker. There was nothing but the promise of the mission pulling her forward.

... Well, doy? How exactly did you expect this to go down, Dexy-Boy? Did you want to talk the guards into silence with your witty banter?

This chapter serves literally no other purpose than to wank on about how cool and remorseless Andi is. We get Dex angsting about how Andi used to feel things very very hard, you guys, but now, the rumors were TRUE, and she was indeed a cold, non-feeling murderer.

Dex asks Andi all deep about how the Bloody Baroness isn’t “just a reputation” and thinks about how badass Andi looks when she’s all stoic and shit.

Andi then tells Dex about her apparently-not-so-secret ritual of carving tallies into her swords, which then makes Dex realize that MAYBE the Bloody Baroness IS a facade and Andi actually DOES have feelings, just like he thought 500 words before this! Rendering this entire internal monologue -- and by extension, this fiking chapter -- COMPLETELY USELESS!

Shinsay, literally what is the whole-ass fiking point of this? Was there progress made? New character traits revealed? No. We ended literally where we started. Nothing new was discovered.

1. Dex thinks Andi still has some humanity left and the Bloody Baroness is just a reputation fabricated by her to protect her and her friends

2. Andi murders a dude, making Dex think that BB is indeed REAL and that Andi has no remorse for killing dudes

3. Andi tells Dex about her tallies, saying she remembers each and every kill, making Dex think that perhaps there is some humanity left and the Bloody Baroness is just a reputation fabricated by her to protect her and her friends

Shinsay, I’m coming to your houses to leave rotten eggs between your couch cushions.

We get this from Andi:

“Two deaths. Two tallies on my swords.” She looked down at the dead guards, then back up at him. A flicker of pain flashed through her eyes. “I have a code, you know. Lines that I don’t cross.”

Won’t surprise me the least if we never find out what that code is.

Dex thinks about how cool and great it is to be working with Andi and the “chapter,” as I’ll generously call it, ends.

Chapter 26

Hey, remember Klaren?

Me neither.

Anyway, it’s year nineteen now and she’s holding baby Nor. Klaren thinks about how her baby -- oh sorry, “babe,” because this book still wants to be fantasy I guess -- is a mistake and how little effort she had to put in to make the king love her.

She’d hardly had to try to entice him. Perhaps, in some way, that meant he was her gift. A man who loved her despite what she was. Despite the past she’d kept hidden from him all these years.

Did this reasoning actually make sense to Shinsay? How can he love you “despite” the past you’ve hidden from him if you’ve HIDDEN IT FROM HIM AND HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT?!

Who let Shinsay write? I need to find them and have a few words.

Anywhoo, the king is off to war and Xen Ptera is dying and it’s the apocalypse and whatever.

The baby wailed, drawing the queen’s attention. “Sleep now, my perfect little mistake,” she whispered. “Sleep, and remember to dream of the light.”

I guess this is supposed to be deep? Who even knows tbh.

Alone in her palace quarters, the queen of Xen Ptera rocked her daughter gently, a tear slipping down her cheek as she remembered her mission and thought of how little time they had left.

We’ve had a bunch of chapters with Klaren already and I still have no idea what purpose they serve or what their plot is.

#eff reads: zenith

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thistangledbrain · 4 years ago

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Day 16!

“Work/school”

Well...EDS robbed me of my ability to work 3-4 years ago, but I can tell you about prior stuff.

I started off going to college right out of high school, but realized I was just burning through money, because I had no idea what to major in - I have *too many* interests, and most of them don’t really translate to a well paying job...not enough to warrant the expense of the education, anyway. If higher education wasn’t so expensive in this country, I would be one of those people who just sort of...collects degrees, though. I daydream of that often...but, thanks to my oldest son, I’m sort of vicariously gaining a bit of higher ed in Physics, one of my *favorite things evarrrrrrr* (but I trip so badly over the math, so idk if I’d ever get far, myself). He sends me pics of his notes, video clips, and when he’s home, we love to sit down while he walks me through all the equations and the processes (and when he explains them to me, it helps him get an even deeper grasp of it sometimes, so it’s good for both of us ☺️). Quantum physics/mechanics and theoretical physics are 🤯 to me, and I can’t get enough! Astrophysics is pretty damn cool, too. One of my favorite things ever is when we nerd out together on this stuff. I remember when he was in high school and first started being interested in it...I was so excited I could barely contain myself (I was already very much obsessed with these sciences), and watched with delight and excitement as his passion grew. I remember he brought home this like 10-15 question beginner physics quiz he took when he first started, that he handed to me. “Can you answer these?” he says, as he hands the paper to me. “Fuck YEAH I can!!!” So I excitedly went down the list - there was only one question I wasn’t sure about (and I think it had to do with thermodynamics but I don’t quite remember)...I just remember HE got so excited that I was already familiar with stuff (like particles and waves), and it was in that moment that we just...gained this incredible connection that still makes me feel all gooshy inside. Physics isn’t the only science that gets me excited, but I’ve written enough about that for now 🙃...

So. Yeah. Maybe someday I’ll win the lottery, go back to school, and probably just stay there LOL...

You guys have already heard me ramble about the Marines, so I’ll leave that part out...

So my work history is similar to my school history, I guess. Rather scattershot. Since I know my keenest interests won’t make me a ton of money (without a degree) or aren’t really necessarily *career* choices, I’ve been fairly comfortable with...idk. Trying things out that I wanted to do, because being rich and having “things” just doesn’t...well, I personally don’t understand the draw, and it has never been a real goal. I’m flying high if I can pay the bills on time LOL...I have to leave the rest of the financial planning to someone else, because I just...don’t...care enough. The things I care about in life *require* money (what doesn’t), but obtaining personal wealth just to have more of it/more “things” baffles me (you can do your “grind” to have your “fat stacks” - my interests lie well outside of material gain, and this is something we just won’t connect on. Your Birkin bag and sweet ride mean positively zero to me as far as how I look at you as a person...except for the fact that I think it’s bizarre for someone to spend tens of thousands on a purse or shoes, and I question their logic lmao). I’m not sure I’ll ever know what it feels like to just want to be rich, and damn near kill yourself to obtain that big house and nice cars and designer clothes or whatever. I like nice things too, but frankly I’d rather actually live my life? I’m not gonna be here long...it makes zero sense to me to break myself for the material gain of “things” (and people who do that, actually upset me a bit. I feel like they’re missing the point....or, it makes me sad to think that their existence is so empty that things like labels and status symbols are what they’re hyperfocused on, what matters the most to them). That being said, I DO enjoy the *immaterial* gains - respect, love, making animals and humans happy and whole, growing my mind, sharing my experiences and knowledge for the benefit of others. This probably sounds way too candy coated and cheesy to believe, but it’s easy to prove through my actions. This is *genuinely* what matters to me.

My first couple jobs were not my speed, but I did learn a lot about how companies run (from an administrative & bookkeeping standpoint), and that’s been sort of my “fall back on” career, since - but it makes me really, really unhappy to be stuck behind a desk, even if the work is fairly interesting or challenging. I’ve also been a horse stable manager, an exercise jockey for race horses (shattered pelvis ended that venture though), worked in an exotic pet store (I LOVE reptiles!!!!), and dabbled in nearly every trade in the construction industry (I am the quintessential “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”)...eventually landing in a position that I was very comfortable with - superintendent/jobsite manager for a smaller residential company. The job was always different from day to day, so I had little time to get bored. I guess that’s the big hangup - i don’t like being bored at my job. (I don’t like being bored, period, but rarely am...even though I live out in the middle of nowhere and don’t have gainful employment anymore. I have tons of interests involving animals, art, and building/creating, plus I love to read and learn. Or take walks through the woods and photograph tiny environments. Train and rehab dogs. Remote train and help people as far away as the UK. If I’m bored, I’m probably just being lazy.)

I’ve realized - and come to learn that many auties share this with me - that working alone or with a very small group of people is ideal. We all have our different strengths and interests, but jobs that keep our brains engaged and keeps us out of “general human traffic” are much preferred. I often wonder how many auties are also actually add/adhd, or if it’s just another facet in our prism. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s both a bane, and a boon, depending on the situation.

You’re HIGHLY likely to come across *a lot* of Auties in STEM fields...or lurking in warehouses and stockrooms, content to be left alone with their thoughts or music while they sort and pack. There are also a crapload of autistics in the creative arts - writing, music, acting, painting, and so on. You are UNLIKELY to find many auties in mundane tasks that require little thinking, long term.

One of my favorite bits from a Temple Grandin lecture was something about how over half of NASA would be gone without autistics, and back in caveman days, it wasn’t the social gabby gabbies around the campfire who were thinking up new tools and weapons - it was us antisocial weirdos off to one side whose brains *just never shut off*. 🤷🏻‍♀️ This is why I struggle to understand the people who think autism is some sort of ...horrible plight that’s descended on the human species. You’d be screwed without us, and I don’t care if that sounds arrogant, because it’s true. We might be weird and make you uncomfortable sometimes, but we do some DAMN cool shit. We just might prefer to do it in ways that don’t make sense to you. It doesn’t HAVE to make sense to you - WE don’t have to make sense to you (and we probably won’t anyway, so why do you keep trying? Try just accepting instead).

I’ve been slowly collecting links to Autie blogs, artistic works, scientific contributions, and so on. When I’m satisfied that it’s a broad cross section of who we are and what we do/contribute to society, I’ll share it...but in the meantime...

We might be more comfortable within certain parameters (like, “can I please keep the fluorescent lights off in my office”), but shoooo lawd, don’t sell us short on anything else. Just cut us loose and let us do our thang. ☺️

#asd #autism #autistic #acceptance

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mikawa-province · 7 years ago

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Unlikely Pair [1/2]

Title: Unlikely Pair Fandom: Samurai Love Ballad: Party/Tenka Touitsu Koi no Ran: Love Ballad Pairing: Tokugawa Ieyasu x MC Rating: PG-13 → MA Word Count (MS Word): 1,068

鴛鴦夫婦　（おしどりふうふ） [oshidorifuufu]　　 (n) loving couple; happily married couple

Takes place after the events of Tokugawa Ieyasu’s Revival/Returns Event in KoiRan called 「天下の姫君」(lit. The Peerless Noble Lady), as well as its epilogue and his POV story.

Enjoy!

He didn’t realize she was a loud one in bed until now.

While he would have found that an amusing trait that he could use against her if she tried to annoy him, the fact that her snoring was keeping him up when he needed sleep for tomorrow’s war council made him feel annoyed instead.

Tokugawa Ieyasu knew she was tired to the bone today, preparing for the arrival of Oda and his retainers, worrying herself to death. Despite his assurances that she shouldn’t worry too much, as Oda’s visit to Hamamatsu, while a rare occurrence, was something that they always prepared for, she still took upon the task with so much seriousness.

"I do not want to disappoint you, Ieyasu-sama, by being ill-prepared. Nobunaga-sama would definitely find something wrong, and if he does..." her lower lip quivered in fear, her eyes downcast. "I refuse to dishonor the name of the clan."

Since when had she learned to talk big?

Before, she had only been concerned with not wanting to embarrass him, but now, she was speaking as if she was one of them, and that it would be a great shame for them all if she had messed up.

Ieyasu shook his head.

Of course she’s one of us. She’s my wife.

It had only been several weeks since they had a ceremony in her hometown, their witnesses being her family at Kyoto, with some of his closest retainers and the two female servants. Right after they arrived in Hamamatsu, wedding preparations were in order, and anyone who was connected to the Tokugawa was in attendance during that auspicious day. He had not wanted to inform the Fool just yet that he had married, especially since he valued both their privacy and their peace of mind.

But after Oda had sent word that he would be visiting, he knew that their wedded bliss was over for the meantime.

And so, she had worked herself into a frenzy, thinking up of the menu down to the snacks to be served during the war council. She never took a break until she was ordered to, and it took stern warnings from him to force her to call it a day.

Heck, she had slept during her evening bath, and had to be carried out of the bathing area and be dressed by him, which he did not mind, though he threatened to punish her if she did this a second time.

Ieyasu could’ve sworn that her response to his threat had been a smile.

Silly wench, he thought, pinching her nose, wondering if that would stop her snoring. With their respective futon laid out beside one another, it had been easy to reach out and temporarily cut off her air supply.

Unfortunately for him, it did not work, and she still snored after he had removed his fingers from her nose.

Irritated, he propped himself up with his elbow and pressed his lips against her own, wondering if this particular method would work this time around. Upon pulling himself away from her, the snoring did stop, and Ieyasu settled himself for the night, satisfied that this rather unorthodox had worked.

Too bad for him, it had work for about ten minutes or so.

With her snoring back in full force and his patience finally snapping, he shook her awake, just about ready to tell her that she needed to take responsibility for this when she opened her eyes…

… and gave him a dazzling smile despite her half-awake state.

"Ieyasu-sama." To his shock, she had managed to prop herself up and kiss him, even managing to slip her tongue in-between his parted lips, a product of his shock from her gesture. "Good morning. Is it time for breakfast?"

It had been a struggle to keep his hands to himself and to maintain a poker face. "... No, but your snoring was so loud, I thought it was time to get up for breakfast."

Her face fell, and within him, his own heart fell upon seeing the sad look on her face. "My apologies..."

"You’d better be." He did not know how he had managed to hold it together for him to be sarcastic enough to reprimand her. "I heard that snoring does not occur if one lies on their side."

She yawned. "I shall do—”

He lifted his blanket, as if to invite her. "I’m feeling rather generous, so for tonight, despite this disgusting heat, I am allowing myself to hold you in my arms—”

In a split second, she had rolled towards his futon, straight into his arms, and snuggled against his chest, even hooking her leg against his own, their bodies pressing intimately.

While he was used to her sleeping with him once in a while, as a married couple and with her readily launching herself towards him without any hesitation whatsoever, it had surprised him.

That, and after she had begun sleeping soundly and without any snoring this time, it should have made him glad.

Instead, he was in pain.

Damn her for doing this to him.

He was still quite sleepy, as his eyelids were forcing him to do what he had been struggling with earlier, but thanks to her, a part of him was quite awake, and it was paining him every second that passed. The two methods that would help him get rid of the pain did not require her help, though if he had a choice, he would ask her to relieve him of the pain. With the way they were positioned right now, there was no way he could handle it by himself, and logically speaking, it would help if she was involved.

Despite the upgrade in their relationship, he refused to use her without any regard for her feelings, preferring her eager participation in the bedroom, and while he knew she would most likely be alright with him rousing her from her sleep once more to help him from this pain, his conscience wouldn’t allow it.

She was exhausted, and she needed her sleep.

He, too, was exhausted, and he needed his sleep, but...

Inwardly, he cursed himself, wondering why he was so lenient and soft when it came to her, despite the fact that a part of him was hard right now because of her.

This is the worst.

It was going to be a long, long night for him.

Where do I even begin?

First off, I’m so sorry for the lack of updates both on my personal blog and this fanfiction blog. It has been a very hectic and stressful summer for me, but I am managing to hold on; hopefully, this will come to pass, and everything goes back to normal. Even I am sick and tired of this situation, but I am hopeful that it will all go in my favor.

Second, I am aware that I owe some translations. I will try my best to fulfill them.

Third, I am so glad they brought back this story event. This was my very first story event when I started playing KoiRan, and boy was I surprised to read a sex scene in the epilogue, complete with a naked Ieyasu. Nice pecs, Future Shogun-sama It was a nice refresher for me, as I think that since my vocabulary has improved, it was easier to understand the plot.

Fourth, for those who know Chinese, the yojijukugo might seem weird because ‘why the heck is there a kanji for mandarin ducks and married couples?!’?

According to good old Wikipedia:

In traditional Chinese culture, mandarin ducks are believed to be lifelong couples, unlike other species of ducks.

Hopefully, that made sense.

The story event had so much drama in it, as well as the epilogue, but I’m glad it worked out in the end, especially since MC had gotten the short end of the stick this time, as she was forced to be away from Ieyasu for quite some time (more than 10 days!).

Now, if only they would continue the Zenjitsutan/Prologue Arc for Ieyasu, I would be a happy gamer...

Anyway, thank you for reading. Hopefully, I can write a new chapter sooner rather than later.

I’ll do my best...!

#slbp fanfic #slbp fanfiction #slbp ieyasu #tokugawa ieyasu x mc #koiran #koiran lb

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amarevia · 7 years ago

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PH Volume 22 Drama CD: Another Story of Promise Lost - Translation

It’s been brought to my attention that the links to @meilibells’s blog are now broken, so I’m reposting their translation in its full length for everyone to enjoy! Long post under the cut. PH Drama CD Masterpost

PH Volume 22 Drama CD: Another Story of Promise Lost (Rough Translations!)

Hello! I decided to translate all of the Drama CD after getting my hands on the tracks from here! The whole thing is super cute, so I hope you will enjoy it! However, I would like to note that my translations aren’t perfect and I translated this from the Chinese translation, so needless to say, some things will be lost in translation. ALSO OBLIGATORY SPOILER TAG. Anyways, enjoy!

Woman: “Anyways… Are you leaving?” Man: “Ah… Sorry, I cannot go with you.” Woman: “No… I don’t want [you to leave].” –holds tightly- Man: ! Woman: “I love you… I love you! I don’t want to part ways with you…….!” Man: “………. Why?” Woman: “Eh?” Man: “Why must you say such a thing…… I had finally made up my mind and decided to give up! I believe that this is the best for you… This is the best way!” Woman: “If you really are thinking of what’s best for me… then I beg you, do not leave me.” Man: ! –holds close- Woman: ………….. ! Man: “Perhaps I’ll cause you to suffer, but even so… do you really want to be with me?” Woman: “Of course… As long as I could be with you, I don’t need anything else.” BOSS: “Heh… heh heh heh heh… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” Woman: …! “This voice… could it be… brother?!” BOSS: “What a bad child… betraying me? Listen, you’re my little sister. You’re mine. I’ll never allow you to become someone else’s… I won’t allow it… won’t allow it… won’t allow it… won’t allow it! Ah hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” –pulls out sword- ~FIGHT~ Woman: “No——!!” -man falls to the ground- Woman: “No… No…! Why did it turn out this way ahhhh——“ BOSS: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! ! ! !” Levi: “…. Oi” -balls up draft and throws it away- Levi: “Ah ~~~~~ This won’t work. [I believe he mentions something about “writers block” right here, but he’s definitely saying that he can’t seem to write anything good.] Jack: “GFCOMI、PandoraHearts第22卷初回限定特裝版CD、Another Story of Promise Lost.” Levi: “——To Summarize. Jack, Lacie, hurry up and give me some topics.” Jack: “…Haah.” Lacie: “I refuse.” Levi: “Dammit! You’re the same as always, unwilling to be comply. Even though I already knew that would be the case!” Jack: “No, even if you say that… if you don’t explain in detail, we won’t even understand what’s going on.” Lacie: “Don’t bother with him, Jack. 瓶頸期 is just sugar coating it. Frankly speaking, he finally figured out that he has never written anything worth publishing into a novel. This is a good thing, so you should give up. [Some notes with what she says here: *瓶頸期 means bottleneck, although I’m not sure if I should put that in there. I think this link: (http://brainslink.com/2013/09/you-might-be-a-bottleneck-if/) should explain what she means with Levi. After Lacie basically says that he has no talent in writing and cannot be compared to actual writers, but I thought changing that up would make it sound nicer. Lastly, when she tells him to 封筆, here means to seal your pen, which means give it up.] Levi: “Who says it’s about my writing skills!” Jack: Very well, Lacie! However Glen, unfortunately I don’t have any literary talent, so I’m afraid it would be difficult to help you…” Levi: “That kind of thing does not matter, Jack. ——What I want to hear about your experiences of lust.” [I tried Google to help me with the first word 戀情 but they just translated it to love too. However, it might have more to do with lust than love.] Jack: “Lust?” Levi: “Or love.” Lacie: “Boring.” Levi: “Because before whether I wrote of a knight, detective, or whatever, the core of my story all had to do with the friendship between two men. This is why for my next work, I want to try writing a steamy love novel.” Jack: “Then there’s even less to say. That kind of thing would have to rely on your own experiences in order to make it more persuading.” Lacie: “What are you saying, Jack. That kind of guy couldn’t have truly ever fallen in love with someone.” Levi: “Hey, you sure know how to talk. In this whole Baskerville house, there isn’t any man that is has more passion than I do” Jack: “Eh— Is it like that?” Levi: “Ah. In fact, I am in love right now.” Jack: “Who?” Levi: “Lacie.” –the sound of a teapot shattering- Oswald: “Wha…What are you saying!? Master!?” Levi: “What? You were here the whole time, Oswald?” Lacie: “He’s been standing behind you this whole time.” Jack: “Ah— The tea that was prepared [More accurately he’s saying something along the lines of ‘what a waste’ but only because they went through all that trouble to prepare it.]… -walking over to pick up the pieces-. Oswald: “If… If you ever lay hands on my sister I’ll never forgive you!” Jack -as he continues picking up the pieces-: “No, no. Oswald. I think no matter who it is, they should be free to like who they want to.” Oswald: “Hah!? Eh… Ah… That’s true…” Levi: “That’s exactly right, Oswald. Even I understand how you would feel if your cute sister was taken away by a Master who is completely opposite from you: intelligent, handsome, and respected like the mighty river. [His words are very flashy and there’s probably more praise that I left out. I’m afraid I had to simplify it since it’s just too flashy for me.] If I were in your position, I’ll definitely feel inferior and shame. So sad!” Lacie: “You’re free to cut him down, brother.” Oswald: “I understand, if you’re going to say something like that … -pulls out sword- Master! Please prepare yourself! Jack: Okay, okay, Oswald. -pats- Ah, let me ask this, what do you like about Lacie then, Glen? Levi: That she isn’t cute. Oswald: My sister is very cute!! Levi: Ah, that’s not what I meant. I think the fact that she isn’t cute is cute. You probably don’t understand. Oswald: Ah? Levi: “And I simply like her face. Her black hair is very beautiful.” Lacie: “The reason you like me is because of my appearance and how I’m not cute. How awful.” Jack: “So… this is saying that Glen likes black-haired woman then, right?” Levi: “Well~~… It’s not saying that I love all woman with black hair. [It’s a bit hard to translate it clearly, but he’s saying that black hair isn’t his Type. This is why he follows up, saying that the last woman he likes has blonde hair. It’s a bit like if someone had a thing for short-haired woman and therefore everyone he likes has short hair, etc.] Before Lacie, the last woman I liked had blonde hair.” Jack: “Hey— could it be that person was also a Baskerville?” Levi: “Ah, yes. She was my Glen predecessor.” Oswald: “Isn’t that bad!?” Lacie: “This is my first time hearing of this.” Jack: “Predecessor…” Levi: “Because she always cross-dressed, I didn’t know she was a woman until a long time had passed. After liking her I lost to her many times and was even beat up by her.” [He mentions here that he tried to challenge the situation many times but lost. I think we can safely assume he got rejected a bunch of times.] Lacie: “I have nothing to say.” Jack: “However, perhaps the two of you are a very good fit.” Levi: “No, in the end nothing happened between the two of us…” Jack: “I’m talking about Lacie, Glen.” Lacie: “Eh?” Oswald: “WHA-?!” Levi: “Ohhh?” Jack: “Because you two have known each other for so long, and understand each other well. What do you think, Oswald?” Oswald: “B-B-B-B-Becoming lovers… those two………..” -FANTASY TIME- Levi: “Ah ha ha ha ha~ Wait for me~ Lacie~~” Lacie: “Ohuehue~ I’m over here~ Glen~” Levi: “Really~ You wild child~~ If you don’t stop now….” Jabberwocky: “ROAR——” Levi: “I’ll release my chain to catch you!” Lacie: “Aha~ The Jabberwocky in front of me is like a wall, I can’t go anywhere! What a headache~~” Levi: “See~~ I’ve caught you~~~” Lacie: “Ai~~ Really, releasing your chain is sly Glen~” Levi: “If you wish, I could let the black wings cover your eyes~~” Lacie: “Huehue… You really are a troublesome person … Glen, you’re hugging me so tightly it hurts. ” Levi: “Hey, Lacie…” Lacie: “Glen…”

Oswald: “No!!! I will never let something like this happen!!! I don’t want to see them like this!!! ” Lacie: Wait a minute, brother. You just made up some weird fantasy didn’t you? ” Levi: Is it like that? Brother-in-law? ” Oswald: “Who’s your brother-in law?! ” Jack: “But Oswald… ” Oswald: “Jack, shut up! You don’t understand this person at all! What Master is saying isn’t that he simply likes someone. He’s just speaking in the moment, and playing around!!! ” Jack: “Eh? That would be bad then. ” Levi: “I’m serious. ” Jack: “He says he’s serious. ” Oswald: “Don’t you take his serious, seriously! It’s just rubbish!” Levi: “You’re so mean, Oswald.” Lacie: “Ah. Really!! Stop playing around with my brother, Glen! My brother is different from you. He’s caring and pure and hardworking and cute!!” Levi: “But you obviously like to tease him too.” Lacie: “I can tease him! Me!” Oswald: “Yeah! Because I am my sister’s playmate!” Jack: “Oswald, what you are saying isn’t exactly the same as what she’s saying…” Levi: “It won’t work, Jack. The only thing this person can take pride in is being teased and playing dumb.” Oswald: “I am not old in the head yet! ” Levi: “You see. ” Lacie: “Hm? ” Jack: “What is it? Lacie?” Lacie: “Aaaaaaaaahh—————!!!!!” Jack: ! Oswald: “Lacie!” Lacie: “Brother!” -going into his arms- Oswald: “What wrong? What happened?” Lacie: “A bug…” Oswald: “A bug?” Lacie: “Yes! O-O-Over there… There’s one wriggling around and it has so many legs… Wuah! What a disgusting bug!” Levi: “Ha ha, really. It’s just a centipede.” Oswad: “Ahh, it’s wriggling around quite a lot…. Okay. Lacie, stand back. I’ll fix this right—” -pulls out sword- Jack: -steps on bug- Oswald: “Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh——!!!!” Lacie: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh——!!!!” Levi: “Oh, you stepped on it. Jack, you stepped on the bug!” Jack: “Eh? Ah, Mm. It’s because I didn’t want to use my hands…” Oswald:” Even so you can’t do that!? What kind of person would step on the bug here like this?” Jack: “Eh? Lacie: “D-Don’t move, Jack! If you make one single step, I will not forgive you.” (*Bless celpika for translating the missing line. Thank you!) Jack: “Eh? Oswald: “Don’t move, don’t lift your foot to look. Ah, I can see it!!” Lacie: “I’m telling you not to move, Jack! How do you e-e-e-expect to clean your shoe that has the bug’s intestines all over it!?” Jack: “Um… wouldn’t it be okay to just wash it off?” Lacie: “That’s not the problem!” Jack: “Eh?” Levi: “Ah ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. !!!” Oswald: I don’t understand… How you can be like this in this type of situation? No trace of confusion, or a little remorse, just as clear as water—” Jack: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh——” Oswald: “Hm?” Lacie: “Jack?” Jack: “Ahh… Ah… Ahhh… it’s been killed… I killed an innocent life… Me… With one foot I stepped on it and killed it… !! Ahh !! What should I do…. !? How should I repent my sins… !!? What should… Oswald, tell me!?” -grabs onto him- Oswald: !? “You… What’s wrong with you, Jack?” Jack: “—— Didn’t you want to see me have this kind of reaction?” Oswald: “By acting?!” Jack: “Ah, how mean, I’ve always been very serious. Mm… Did I choose the wrong direction? How about this then? —— Wuuuu, what do I do, Oswald? I accidentally stepped on the bug! How disgusting. Help me wipe it off, hurry, help me wipe it off~~~ “ Oswald: “Ahh, stop messing around it’s disgusting!!” Jack: “Ah, I was scolded again. Aha ha.” Levi: “Pff ha ha hah… ha ha ha ha… ha ha ha ha!!! What are you two doing? It’s too hilarious… !!” Lacie: “Ah, how awful. Take off your shoes Jack, and clean the floors! I’m going to bed!” -turns to leave- Oswald: “Ah, wait! Lacie!” -chases after her-“ Jack: Um… Levi: “Ah… The cleaning equipment is all downstairs.” Oswald: “Lacie! Wait!” Lacie: “… What is it, brother?” Oswald: “Our conversation just earlier… If, If Master he really ——” Lacie: “Oh, don’t worry brother. Glen, he only wanted to see brother’s [worried/upset/puzzled] expression. That’s why he made this kind of joke.” Oswald: “Is that so?” Lacie: “Yes. But I also understand his feelings. Brother’s type of expression is very cute, I like it too.” Oswald: “(What kind of expression…?)” Lacie: “I won’t become anyone’s thing, and I don’t want to become anyone’s thing, until the very end.” Oswald: “If… !” Lacie: “Eh?” Oswald: “If Jack he… toward you…” Lacie: “Brother. Jack doesn’t love me. He… he doesn’t love anyone.” Jack: “Ai… who knew that Lacie hated bugs. What should I do, I seemed to have made her angry…” -wipes the floor- Levi: “Don’t worry, don’t worry. By the next day she won’t be angry anyways. Rather thinking about that, just then Lacie was amazing right?” Jack -as he wipes the floor-: “Amazing?” Levi: “How should I say this… The contrast? Seeing that someone like Lacie who always acts high and mighty is afraid of bugs. Crying over it in the end… Such a thing, don’t you feel that it makes you excited?” Jack: “… Haha. When a woman reveals another side of them they don’t usually show, it makes them more attractive.” Levi: “Oh! Sure enough, you have a rich experience don’t you? Come, tell me all of your interesting and funny experiences with dating woman.” Jack: “There is no such thing! And I have not been serious with the few I’ve dated…” Levi: “That’s enough! Compared to the idiot sis-con.” Jack: “But this will come a sad story.” Levi: “Oh? Tragic, is it? Very good, very good. What kind of person is she?” Jack: “Stella and Jane, Flora and Felice, Christine and Bella” Levi: “… So many.” Jack: “Marian and Bridgett… They are all very good woman. They all have beautiful bright smiles, they’re good at singing and dancing, and they are also brave and intelligent. However…” Levi: “However? What happened?” Jack: “They all… everyone died.” Levi: “Eh?” Jack: “Most of them died in an accident or from illness, and some even committed suicide. It is a very sad thing… very sad…” Levi: “Oh~ How could that happen. Even so what you are speaking have has nothing to do with love and romance, I am a person that is very concerned with follow up. So please start over again from how you met them.” Jack: “Ah… where to start… I met Stella when I was 17, she was the Vessalius’ maid. We… (hour’s later) —— And that’s how it happened, which is how my story with Bridgett ends.” Levi: …. “Ah— Ah, that’s no good. I feel like a piece of me has been taken away… It’s a good thing that Oswald isn’t here, if he heard this story then it might leave psychological scarring.” [I’m guessing he means that he’s disturbed, like when you feel like you lost a piece of yourself when you read something traumatizing.] Jack: “Really? This is nothing interesting, right?” Levi: “No no no no, what you have here is a very deep/memorable story Jack. Especially with Marian’s [CENSORED] and Felicia’s [ALSO CENSORED]! Right now, I will definitely be able to write a amazing story! Mhm, mhm!” Jack: “Is that so? If I can help you then that makes me happy, Glen. Now, I’m done with the cleaning so I’ll be going back today. Today I was able to hear about a lot of things that makes me happy.” Levi: “Jack.” Jack: “Yes?” Levi: “About our previous conversation, if I really did love Lacie, what would you do about it?” Jack: “Nothing, I won’t do anything.” Levi: “… Mm.” Jack: “Whoever likes Lacie, or whoever Lacie likes. That has nothing to do with me, does it?” Levi: “You think it’s fine how things are?” Jack: “Of course. Whatever happens, how I feel about Lacie will not change.” Levi: “In some degree that is an expected answer after all, I can feel relieved now. Your feelings for Lacie, could it be called love?” Jack: “Who knows. Is it or is it not? It’s difficult to use language to describe it, Glen.” Levi: “Is that so… sorry for asking you such a boring question, go ahead and forget about it.” Jack: “…. I…” Levi: “Mm?” Jack: “Want to keep living…” Levi: ! Jack: “I want to keep living… Glen…” Jack: “To me this world is the equivalent of all devouring darkness. Even so, because you’re here, because you found me——” Lacie: “Hey, you… You’ll catch a cold if you sleep in a place like this. My name is Lacie. Hey, what’s your name?” Jack: “I am Jack… Just Jack.” Oz: “Wuuuuu…. It’s such a good story!” Gilbert: “What is it Oz?… !! Are you crying… !?” Break: “What kind of book is that? I want to see … 《蕃花的耳语》? [Direct translation would be: Fan Flower’s Whisper, but I’ll keep it there because it’s not very good. It should be referring to the flowers on a tomato plant, but I can’t find an actual term for that.] Oz: “Gil… ! Break… ! This is a book Elliot lent me… !” Alice: “What’s a 蕃花? Sharon?” Sharon: “It refers to little tomatoes, Miss Alice. Ah, your face is covered with sauce… Mm, heheh… so cute.” –wipes- Alice: “Wuuu!” Gilbert: “How should I say this… this is an incredible book name. Is this book that interesting? Oz?” Oz: “Mm!! This book is by the same author of the book I borrowed before! （※公式小說3）It really is amazing… !! Before I read it I thought that it would be a love novel, however in the middle of the story it revealed that it is actually a horror novel! The last scene made it impossible for anyone not to burst into tears, it is a super touching novel! [THERE IS SO MUCH PRAISE IN THIS SENTENCE. Some of it was a bit hard to understand like 王道戀愛小說, which means royal/kingly love novel but putting royal in sounded weird. I would guess it seemed to be a love story between two royals but I can’t say for sure!] Break: “I could not understand what the content is about at all!” Emily: “Your description is sure awful, kid!” Break: “You said it~ Emily~” Oz: “If I were to reveal everything, then it wouldn’t be interesting!” Break: “It’s fine, after all I’m blind. Come~ Please give me the detailed spoilers, Oz-kun!” Oz: “Really! I guess there’s no other way…” Narrator - (Oz): “Is their encounter a coincidence? Or is it a mischief by destiny that they will have this fate? ” Man 1 - (Jack): “I’ve been wanting to see you! I’ve been looking for you… and I’ve finally found you!” Woman - (Lacie): “I’m so happy… I’ve been wanting to see you as well.” Man 2 - (Oswald): “This is my problem… I can’t allow you to become involved…!” Man 1 - (Jack): “It’s not like that at all. You can rely on me, and I will be very happy.” Narrator - (Oz): “The same sentiments toward one another, and the building of a friendship… But, all this is very fragile and vain… so it collapsed.” Man 2 - (Oswald): “Everyone in this house go out and line up!! Right now!” Woman - (Lacie): “I will never forgive… I’ll never forgive brother! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” Man 1 (Jack): “Your strength is great… very dangerous… it’s in the way!” Woman (Lacie): “Come brother, this is brother’s favorite tomato. Come eat. Come come come come come come——!!” Man 2 - “Oswald: Stop… stop!!!” Man 1 - (Jack): “Why do you do something… so cruel——!!?” Man 3 - (Levi): “Do you want to know the truth? Even if you knew, it is meaningless.” Narrator - Oz: “This is extremely pure, twisted, beautiful and sad love story.” Man 3 - (Levi): “《蕃花的耳語》In the last 10 pages, you will definitely be deceived.” Oz: “—— The story will give you this kind of feeling.” Break: “No, I only understood the little tomato is crucial to the story. After that I don’t understand anything.” Oz: “Eh—? To put simply this is a love triangle! The black-haired man has love for his own sister, and in the middle of the story a lot of things happen. However, what is scary about this is the seemingly gentle blond friend! In the past he had a lot of woman, and he killed all of them!! One day there is a plate of tomatoes that caused the tragedy to happen, causing the friends to——!! … No, if I keep speaking then it’s all over! If you want to know what happens, Break. You should read it yourself! You’ll be shocked!” Break: “Eh——————?” Emily: “An old man like him has better things to do, stuuuppppid!” Break: “Hey- Having someone say that about me is quite a shock, Emily.” Gilbert: “I… I also wonder about this book! For such a opportunity to arrive, I’ll have to take a good look at it. It sounds like it is very interesting!” Oz: “Really, Gil? Mm, mm!! Look, look!! And then we’ll discuss our feelings about it together!” Gilbert: “Ah… Ah, Ah! I’ll read it Oz! I’ll read this book!” Break: “Yes, yes. Isn’t that great Gilbert-kun?” Alice: “Can a little tomato really whisper?! I had no idea, Sharon. Are those red things actually a living creature?” Tomato~ to~ma~to~ tomato~ to~ma~to~ Alice: “Oh, oooooooohhhhhh…. !!!” Sharon: “Miss Alice… ! It’s hard to compose myself when you act like a dummy.” Oz: “Aha ha… It isn’t like that. At the end you will understand the titles real meaning. Oh——! To be able to act out the scenes like that felt great! Who knew that the initial case with the tomato could be connected to the story like that!” Sharon: “With Master Oz being so full of praise, I’m starting to want to read it too.” Oz: “It’s not just me, Elliot also said he cried reading it!” Gilbert: “Elliot?” Oz: “Mm! “I can only tell you this, shorty. If you’re a man, then shut up and read this book” —— He said that looking super cool and gave this book to me.” Sharon: “Oh, this author’s name is… EVIL·B? What kind of person could this author be?” Break: “To give yourself a pen name that means evil shows that they must be quite narcissistic.” Oz: “Oh… Leo said the same thing…” Gilbert: “Ah, that’s because liking a person’s work depends on the impression they give off too! Alice: “I’m hungry! Oz! Let’s stop discussing the book and get going! I still can’t forget the taste of the roast pork I had last time…” -drool- Break: “Alice-kun… you just ate chicken, right?” Sharon: “Ah~ What does it matter, Break. I would like to go adventuring too.” Oz: “Ha! This is a good idea! If everyone goes to the street alley together, then everyone will have a good time! “ Sharon: “Street alley?” Break: “Oz-kun! How could you make a lady go somewhere like that——” Sharon: “Really, please stop acting as if I’m a child, Break! Master Oz, please explain what kind of place this suspicious sounding street alley is. Oz: “It is a very fun place, Miss Sharon! There are small houses with a lot of people, and stores that sell many interesting things! And —— Hee, you can hear rumors that you usually wouldn’t of the prince.” Gilbert: “Prince? What is that, Oz?” Oz: “Ah— Gil, I can’t believe you don’t know——？He’s obviously a celebrity in the slums!” Gilbert: “Is it like that? The street alley is even close to the place I recently bought, so I should have been able to heard of these rumors….” Oz: “The last time I went, no one knew anything about the prince! Because the prince is a super saver! [He’s super careful with money, etc!] A model house wife! And he’s the fantasy of every lady.” Gilbert: “Wait a minute, this is completely different from how a prince is normally envisioned.” Oz: “Hehe, don’t worry! Even so, the prince is still a very remarkable prince.” Gilbert: “Hm…? You speak as if you’ve met the prince before…? Ah! Could it be, that you met this weird guy when I wasn’t looking, Oz?” Oz: “Eh—? I don’t know.” Gilbert: “Oz! I’ve said this before, that kind of place is close to a bad area, and is not a place where you could walk around care-freely dressed the way you are. No, even if you were to dress yourself down, the brightness that excludes from you cannot be concealed. If a dealer were to catch sight of you, what would we do? If you were really sold by the dealer, then what would I do? Ahhhhh! Ah! Ahh, Oz, if you were to go to the streets, you have to take me!!! To walk around by yourself, I won’t allow it anymore!” Oz: “I wasn’t alone. At the time, Alice and I went together.” Gilbert: “The stupid rabbit only cares about eating meat!” Alice: “What did you say, Smelly Seaweed?!” Gilbert: “Shut up! I’m talking to Oz right now!” Alice: “So what you, idiot Seaweed Head?! Even if you weren’t there, I could protect Oz myself. Last time, I was the one that punished that suspicious guy who came knocking at our door!” Gilbert: “What kind of situation was that?!” Oz: “Hehe, I’m not telling you~ Prince~” Gilbert: ! “Oz….!!” Break: “Ah~ What a noisy bunch of kids… Oz-kun. If we’re going then we should go while the sun is still up. Is that alright, my lady?” [This is assuming they also make it back before sun down.] Sharon: “Of course, Break.” Oz: “Ah— This is so exciting! I wonder if today I’ll be able to see 吉克大人? [It’s a name of a person, but Oz means Break since it’s a pun! The name actually means quickly/hurry/rushed since Break is in a hurry to go. So in this case Oz is saying something like Mister Rushed/Hurry/etc.] Break: “Hahaha, Oz-kun, if you say another word, then I’ll punch you into the air, okay?” Emily: “Don’t worry about it, punch him into the air!” Alice: “Meat~ meat meat~ meat meat~ meat~” Sharon: “Ohoho~ Then Miss Alice, why don’t you hold Big Sisters hand~?” Alice: “Eh…?! No… I don’t….” Sharon: “Mi·ss A·li·ce?” Alice: “Huu…” Sharon: “What a good child, don’t run off by yourself now, okay?” Alice: “Okay… Big Sister…” Oz: “Gil, hurry up!” Gilbert: “Ah! Wait Oz. I’m getting my hat… where’s my hat?! Ah, Oz, Oz——!!!” Levi: Because of this, I am able to allow my readers to understand the reason I included this small red fruit, making it a surface theme in the story. Of course, there is a different truth. Which is the symbolization of the earth’s grace, as well as the hot burning heart. It has a sweet aroma, but it is also very fragile. It is a place all things in the world will return to. To speak of friendship, I will have to trample on it. Therefore the tone of this book is ultimately cruel. I hate eternal, but love that which comes to an end. Also, I believe that friendship should be like this. I wrote this book under the mocking of the moonlight - Evil·B [The last sentence is a pun, and it’s the best way I can interpret it. otherwise it… doesn’t make much sense.] Levi: “——Hm? Did you finish reading?” Oswald: “Yes, Master.” Levi: “How do you feel, Oswald? Is it interesting? It’s interesting, isn’t it! Even if it’s embarrassing for me to say it [Or he feels that he might sounds arrogant. It’s open to interpretation.], but I do think this novel is my best one so far!” Oswald: “Master.” Levi: “Hm?” Oswald: “I didn’t understand it…” Levi: “Ah… Is that so?” Oswald: “Yes, I didn’t understand it.” Levi: “… Mm.”

- meilibells

#Pandora Hearts #Pandora Hearts Drama CD #PH volume 22 #Another Story of a Promise Lost #Another Story of Promise Lost #PH special #drama CD #translation

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yellow401 · 7 years ago

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Just Outside the Circle

The recent excommunion of a Mormon general authority certainly caused a ruckus in some circles around here. When the comments page of the article on the subject made the Salt Lake Tribune’s top six, I knew it was time to stay away.

News coverage of the situation made note of the the interesting fact that it’s been 28 years since someone in such a position has been excommunicated, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes more common in the future. Why? Because it’s hard to be Mormon! And I dare say it’s not going to get any easier. The world is awash

(I fully realize that it’s probably too soon to start using language like “awash,” given that significant portions of Texas, India, Bangladesh, Nepal, The Caribbean, and Florida are or recently were underwater, and I apologize for always being about seven viral news stories behind when I blog. It turns out that blogging the way I do it is exhausting (not because blogging is exhausting en sí, but because I’m not very good at it. This post, for example, was first composed in a notebook on a bus.) and I’ve been too depressed to write much (that’s not precisely true; I wrote another novel earlier this year. But it turns out that writing a novel that nobody has seen yet is easier than writing a blog post that everyone will see right away. Note also that I didn’t say I polished a novel earlier this year. It was enjoyable to write but I’m worried that if I reread it too closely I’ll be somewhat horrified. Maybe not horrified. Is Fridge Sadness a thing? Let’s just say I could probably give it to a shrink to read and receive a fully-fledged diagnosis in return.). Please forgive me.)

in pornography, drug abuse, abuse, cynicism, hatefulness, and stress, to say nothing of the physical hardship, financial difficulty, and lack of basic needs that so much of the world experiences today. It’s not easy to be anybody, for heaven’s sake.

So it was that while news of the recent excommunion of a Mormon General authority created a ruckus in some circles around here, it brought me to a surprisingly (for anyone who has never seen past my snarky, vaguely arrogant public demeanor) tender place.

While I was never ex’ed, I spent a few years, digamos, disaffected from the Church; living, as P. Uchtdorf might put it, well below my privileges, eating beans out of a can on a cruise ship.

(“Digamos” = “shall we say.” “En sí” = “in and of itself.” For some reason I’m using Spanish words today, perhaps when the syntax is more concise in Spanish (because I’m clearly concerned about an economy of words in this post). In a part of the above-mentioned book that takes place in an undisclosed location in México, I decided to have a couple of conversations in Spanish and translate them into English in the footnotes, which is useful for sentences like “Y ahora que él regrese, muriéndose de la misma enfermedad de la cual pidió la cura sin que tuviera esa enfermedad, sí, es bien raro,” (“And now for him to come back, dying from the same disease he asked to be cured of without being sick, yes, it’s quite weird.”) but not so much for sentences like “Ah” (”Ah”) or “No” (”No”). Y bien, basta de ombliguismo por ahora.)

Toward the end of this time, I had a dream, after a mostly sleepless night, that I don’t remember. What I do remember is that when I woke up I had a powerful feeling that it was time for me to stop standing just outside the circle; that it was time for me to fully live the Gospel and accept responsibility for my shortcomings. It was very vivid; it was as though I could see a group of people standing in a circle and I was just outside, able to step forward and join them if I could just bring myself to do it.

That was Thanksgiving morning. One evening in early December I was sitting with my roommates, all of whom were Mormon. One of my roommates had apparently asked for a blessing earlier in the day, and everyone but me gathered around to give it. Then another roommate (all this “roommate roommate” business is going to get confusing rather quickly--shall we call him “Jake?” Así sea (let it be so).) named “Jake” asked if he could also have a blessing, so everyone shuffled around and “Jake” got a blessing. But, just a few words in, “Jake” stopped the blessing. He looked at me (I was seated deferentially on a couch in the opposite corner of the room). He said my name, then, “I want you to stand just outside the circle with us.” Nobody objected, so I got up and stood right by the circle with my head bowed for the remainder of the blessing.

I was quite touched; I was barely able to contain my tears the whole time the blessing was going on. I even felt bold enough to ask for my own blessing, something I certainly wouldn’t have considered a few moments before.

“Jake” was the mouthpiece. One of the first things he said was, “Your Heavenly Father loves you, and He’s very proud of you—”

My eyes flew open. That couldn’t be right. I was a disgusting, contemptible sinner, a loathsome boil on the left butt-cheek of the Church, was I not? I hated myself, so didn’t God hate me? Didn’t He? Well?

I took some notes about the blessing, and about the conversation “Jake” and I had later that night (which I have already referenced in an earlier post), and I changed, after that night: I really tried my hardest to live just outside the circle until such a time as I might be let back in. I had been going to church the whole time because, y’know, BYU; but I started trying harder to get something out of it. I started taking notes at church—a practice I can’t say I’ve kept up ever since (because, y’know, kids . . .). I realized that I had not made time in my schedule to go to the temple when the time came, so I started catching the bus to the temple and sitting in the waiting room for a couple of hours at a time. I also messed up a lot. But I was trying—trying so hard that, at times, it felt like my soul was being held together with a force field. But, eventually, I got my temple recommend back. I got married. We moved. And I realized that all I had to do was show up to my new branch doing a reasonable impression of a Mormon and no one would be the wiser that I was newly fully active in the Church.

Since then, as I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve been a spectacularly mediocre member of the Church. But I’m still here, six-and-a-half years later, and I’ve no intention of budging. And I’ve learned—I’m not the only one. There are loads of us standing just outside the circle—or just inside, having only recently entered, or re-entered. The whole idea of everyone at church being perfectly righteous people who confidently march through life accumulating ever-more-grandiose blessings simply isn’t true upon close inspection—behind many a white shirt or floral-print blouse lie hidden doubt, discouragement, even despair. We’ve been told this—Neal A. Maxwell: “The Church is for the perfecting of the saints; it is not a well-provisioned rest home for the already perfected.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf: “The Church is not an automobile showroom—a place to put ourselves on display so that others can admire our spirituality, capacity, or prosperity. It is more like a service center, where vehicles in need of repair come for maintenance and rehabilitation.” —though it can be hard to remember. The way to heaven is strait and narrow, but people arrive at it from many directions.

When I first went to an LDS addiction recovery meeting, I was ashamed of myself—so ashamed that I got and walked out a few minutes after I had sat down. Then I was too ashamed to go back into that room, so I went to another one (and stayed). Shame, shame, shame. Sneak in, sneak out. Don’t be seen. Where do I go on Wednesday nights? I don’t go anywhere. Don’t be silly. I used to avoid the gaze of other young single adults who were at the stake center for Institute-related activities. But then I started to wonder—how many of you lot need to be in here? I started to realize that we were not so different, and I learned (with practice) to hold my head high as I walked bast the gym with the volleyball nets and into the classroom with the circle of chairs.

So it is with all of us—as I was reminded in church yesterday, even one sin will keep us out of heaven, and we’ve all sinned more than once. We’re all in this together. So what if two men walk into Sacrament Meeting and hold hands in the pew? So what if the old woman sitting on the back row smells like smoke? Isn’t it good for them to be at church, too? Are they keeping all the commandments? Nope. Do they know better? Probably. Isn’t it good for them to be at Church, too? Yo creo que sí.

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lunamanar · 7 years ago

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I Needed This

This is something I posted a month or two ago, but it was then pointed out that almost all of the links were broken...and at the same time, tumblr enacted their new restrictive linking policy. Meaning almost no one it was directed at actually saw it. I haven’t had the chance to correct the problem until now, and in that short time, the post referred to has climbed to over 14,000 notes. Like...what? Holy crap. Okay.

I wish I could sit down and reply to everyone who responded to the post, but at this point that’s just impossible. Just know, I do see the notes, and I’m grateful for every single one.

Below is the fixed post, as it was supposed to appear in April. If you’ve already read it, feel free to disregard this and scroll on by.

So...I’m gonna do one of my weird things. This isn’t really to do with FFVIII, but...I feel like I owe people this. Because I’ve been watching this silly little writing power build and build and snowball, and...it just seems...so counter to the situation of the people I seem to be reaching, that I can’t just let it sit there and rack up “points” in the form of notes without taking a moment (well, a few hours at this point, but I had the time, and this is what I decided to do with it) to at least acknowledge the response. I’ve received messages from people, a flood of kind comments and tags, I’ve watched people reach out to one another to support them in their writing endeavors. Most of it has been outside this fandom, so...I apologize ahead of time if this is somewhat off-topic.

I really don’t know how to begin talking about this, because I’m terrified it’s going to sound like I’m trying to call as much selfish attention as possible to a viral post I made by total accident. That’s not what I want to do at all, here, and please believe me when I say that I don’t think I did anything to deserve thousands of notes on what amounts to a “top ten” post of personal writing philosophies. When I posted it, I thought it might be helpful to a few very specific people in my immediate fandom circle. I never thought it would escape that circle, much less become the...giant ball of positivity that it has. Not that I’m complaining! I’m so beyond floored that it reached as far as it has, I don’t even know what to feel about it, anymore. I certainly don’t feel like I wrote anything brilliant. More than anything, I’m just...puzzled. And flattered, by how many people have been leaving kind tags and notes for me.

The other thing that I feel about it, though, is...sadness. Sadness that so many people feel such anxiety over their writing abilities. So many personal things have been said on this post, by total strangers, about their struggles with anxiety, depression, trauma, alienation and isolation when it comes to their writing. Some people write thousands of words and post them with bated breath, only to be met with a few hits and no comments. Some people are so certain that they have nothing of value to add that they can’t even bring themselves to start. Some think they’re too old to start now, that all their peers of the same age are so far “ahead” of them, they’ll never have any hope of “catching up.” Some are embarrassed to be writing at all, then they’re unemployed and feel like they should be looking for a “real” job instead of indulging in hobbies. There are so many hundreds of ways writer’s block and blues affects people, and the reality of it is, well...I wish they would all go through the hundreds, even thousands of tags and replies simply so they could see how not alone they are in their struggles. Maybe they could even find other people who would be up to being their reading partner, so they could have someone to trade stories with. So many people posting to a void, and it’s hard to see that it should have to be that way.

So...I mean, I don’t know what this will do, if it will do anything. This makes me feel nervous in itself, actually, because I’m not only reaching out to strangers, I’m going to be tagging people who aren’t even a part of the pleasant little community that is FFVIII. A lot of them. And maybe I’ll screw up...maybe I’ll tag someone who doesn’t want the exposure. I tried to comb through bios and take out anyone who explicitly said they were selective about who they talked to. If I tag you here, and you want me to delete your name, please send me a message and I will do so as soon as I see the request.

But at the very least...I do want everyone I ping in this post to know that someone--me, at least--saw their response, and felt it, too. I want their stories to be written and I want them to find the audience who enjoys those stories. I’m here saying, “hey, I see you. I give a shit.” Even if I don’t know anything about whatever fandom you’re in, or if you’re writing a completely original story, or whatever...it’s important. There is nothing more tragic to me than a story aching to be shared that never sees the light of day.

I also want to acknowledge some potential mistakes I may have made in writing that post (and this one). Few people had anything bad to say about it--and thank you all, for such tolerance of my rambles--but I am certainly not perfect, and I want to try to improve my communication where I can so I do ever less harm.

...I guess I’ll start, then.

Tumblr is chock full of “don’ts” when it comes to writing, and it’s my opinion that there’s just not enough love out there for the simple act of writing, itself a massive investment of time, energy and brain cells. Not every piece you write will be a success, but there is much to be said for the energy it takes to carry a story in your head, let alone take that and translate it into words so others can share the meaning it holds for you.

So, take a look at this. I posted that list sometime in...October 2016? I think? And in 7 months, 11,000 people either liked or reblogged it, and most people who reblogged it left a tag or two. By far, besides your generic “writing” or “writing advice,” the most common tag of note was this:

#I Needed This

...or something to that effect. I tried to find and count as many as I could. And I really want people to see just how many accounts out there who just happened to see a single writing tips list felt that they needed the encouragement. And those were the ones who were able to work up the nerve to say so in the comments or tags. I’m sure many more were too shy (and that’s OK).

@finduilasnumenesse @amid-a-lightless-place @phan-band-fandoms @powerfulweak @kayteonline @anotherwinchesterfangirl @blue-phoenix-tears @requiemforthewolves @indi-flying-with-dragons @puppytoast @bxanxgtan @mcfuzzy20 @hexthespectre @purple-and-red-ribbons @fromotterspace @burn-it-slow @tehartmonkee @dutifullymadameashley @killiandameron @captainpoopweinersoldier @artlessictoan @purrtlepuff @chocolatebunnycake @argent-gale @nothingtoleave @nightmare-fantasia @midniallsnack @andromedas-daughter @my-write-mind @different-principles @tangeythetangerine @c-e-gold @random-alefiasolar @ellebeedarling @droid-to-the-world @xpress--urself @closeonmarksnosedive @thinkblueandr3d @novemblu @leopoldfitz @tonks42 @seraphim-of-the-finale @dragonshost-fanfiction @poketin @ofcoursetheymind @author-of-sins @peetaspikelets @officialao3fandomlastforever @randomfangirllaughs @thereddestglass @gaybirdkid @sailorgreywolf @strangesorceries @thecorruptedquietone @melifair @ganbareno @peanutbutterflutist @bi-antagonist @preciousgaby @atomicpen @mariamagica @comebacknow @reconfemmandoforares @happiestastronaut @marmaladephan @ayumichan46 @sergeantrooper @weldlys @bearlytolerable @thatnewcarsmeli @rozenly @notori @mymomthinksimfunny1 @sylvesterelle @edwardsisland @be-kita

@welkikitty

...I know people tend to not like vertical lists of @’s, but I just...want to illustrate that each of these tumblr names is a person who has a story to tell, is in some way struggling with their confidence level, and often, that lack of confidence is due to obscurity. Frequently, feeling intimidated by the work and popularity of one’s peers is just as pen-stopping.

But just by skimming each of their blogs (which I did, individually--this has taken hours of my time), I can say with certainty that none of these writers are bad ones, and I wish I had the time to sit down and read everything they all had to offer, not just to make them all feel better, but because I am sincerely curious! Look at all the fandoms! Look at all the genres here! This is a veritable cornucopia of colorful ideas and potential. Most of these people are relatively unknown. If you’re in one of the fandoms you see here, aren’t you curious about what you’re missing? Goes double for people who have original novels they’re working on, but have no one to read over their script and help them with it. Seriously, isn’t there something that can be done about that?

The second most popular tag was some variant of “thank you.” Which is very sweet, but I really don’t read that as indicating any virtue of mine so much as just another indication of need, someone who needed to read or hear that their situation isn’t hopeless, they don’t suck, and they can write that story they’re struggling with. They don’t hear anyone else telling them that on any sort of regular basis. Especially for someone who’s still trying to find their footing/niche as a writer, that’s a toxic, tragic state of being if writing is something you love. And for the record, I don’t buy for a second that love is enough to keep someone writing if no one is there to read it. Not for struggling authors and people just starting out. Silence is just as bad as, if not worse than condemnation for emerging writers. It’s one thing for an established writer to let a quiet, or disappointed crowd roll off their backs; they have the experience to know and trust in their own skill, and--largely because they already have a support network--can get back on that horse and keep writing even if they produced a lemon or two. Someone without that experience or support? Silence and strict criticism, more than anything, tends to cause a shutdown. (Yes, I’m aware there are exceptions, but in general, it’s true, and I’ve seen it again and again: “My writing doesn’t meet x standard, so what’s the point in even trying?”)

The point is that you usually have to walk before you run, and you can’t even get that far without support, encouragement, praise and redirection. You don’t even have to be an established mentor, you can be a passerby--hey that’s a nicely worded metaphor, good job...you misspelled “principle,” there--and you cannot understate just how helpful even that little interaction can be, if you’re positive about it. Even if you were flying at one point, it’s possible to fall, and if you do, you’ll need some help picking yourself back up. So when I say “don’t write in a vacuum,” that’s what I mean: even if you don’t show your work to anyone until you finish it, just knowing that there is someone out there waiting to see it, and anticipating it, willing to help you with it if you need it, and cheering you on all the while, is empowering. Isolation, on the other hand, not knowing who if anyone will even care to read your work or like it once it’s done, breeds blank pages and brain fog. Much of creativity is about communication. If there’s no one to communicate with, creativity suffocates. Unless you are a particularly talented introvert, you can only carry on a conversation with yourself for so long before all the words start to sound the same.

So, to @castiel-comatose, to @satari-raine, @referencesforpiamio... to

@blue-phoenix-tears @mama-sally @indi-flying-with-dragons @acidmatze @vanillaroses @fromotterspace @pristinepastel @blankinsidecards @nynynightmare @ruminationandtea @chocowl @chiyala @mag-i-cal @andromedas-daughter @megatraven @the-real-inu-girl @remsyk-blog @universe-apart @xmayleensyo @ellipsesarefun @internallydeceased @kigamin @sweeneymads @wepush @heartofpages @lauralot89 @franzwantscoffee @loveablelevi @poketin @maginpui @richard-of-windoor @yuri-on-ice-ice-babyyyy @azurethoughts @thunderstormsandcuddles @bekasyura @contentmintdraws @kurosakiami01 @strangesorceries @brynnmclean @howtotrainyouragents @lumierc @spywerewolf @yourcouragetothestickingplace @heuvelliedje @kateandtheuniverse @weeardo0 @ayumichan46 @silverbuttercups @rozenly @heartofwriting @darthshizuka @guardianmantis @gladnis-trash @firstorderelite @amiitens

...You’re welcome for the post, but it really was just...that sometimes, *I* feel isolated, and I feel like my writing is shit and no one could possibly care. But experience has taught me that there are so many reasons that’s simply an illogical sentiment, and those ten-ish items help me remember why it’s far more reasonable to assume I’m a good writer who faces the inherent difficulties of publishing in a vast sea of other writers on the Internet. In many ways, including with the list itself, I got lucky, got noticed by other people who already had a lot of followers, and through them I found people who were interested in my work, not because I’m some amazing writer (I’m not...just look at this structural disaster of a post at 5-something in the morning), but because I bothered to reach out in the first place. I’ve made similar posts several times in the past, and they didn’t go anywhere, but this time, I just ran into the right people at the right time. So it got to you, and you commented or tagged, and now you’re on this post with a bunch of other people you probably don’t know. Keep trying, and it happens, eventually. You will be seen.

That’s the real tragedy of all this...your ability to be seen and heard is attributable as much to chance as it is anything else. And you can’t really start to make your own luck until you have some social capital. I have a few followers, and so I hope that posting this can facilitate at least a little bit more luck for everyone I mention. So don’t be scared to respond (reblog--more people see that than when you comment), and say what you’re working on that you want people to see, or that your afraid won’t be finished, or won’t turn out right. Start a conversation about it. Say what about the story is important to you. Reach out. Let people know you have a story you want to tell, one that really matters to you. Maybe give a brief synopsis--you’d be surprised how that can pique someone’s interest. Really, anything. Just keep trying. Over time, people will find you.

Either way, point is, I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but just because you left a tag on a post that helped you, someone saw you, liked you, and has every confidence that you have beautiful stories in your head that you are more than capable of putting to the keys. Whatever else you do with that information, please do not stop writing, and if you need help, maybe look through some of the people here who are or have been feeling rather invisible--there’s likely someone who shares your interests. Or just reblog, or message me, or message someone you know who maybe you haven’t thought to ask before, whatever it is you feel brave enough to do. If you want to, that is. If you don’t want to, that’s alright. I just...wanted to give everyone I saw a chance, a platform for it.

If I have one thing to add to my list--a #11--it’s that if you have a lack of support, encouragement and visibility in your writing life, you should probably treat that as a primary obstacle to your writing, before you blame yourself or your abilities. Beating yourself up for not being able to grab people’s attention without a preexisting network isn’t fair to you, although the inclination is understandable, given the expectation people tend to have for writers to do exactly that. But the truth is, you owe it to yourself to reserve judgement on your own work until you’ve seen what you can do with that support.

Now that I’ve spend entirely too many words explaining what’s probably a very simple concept, there were a few responses to the post that I felt...like I should answer, specifically. This isn’t because these people are better than anyone in the lists above (in fact many of them are in those lists), it’s simply because they said something I happened to have a specific response to. So...here goes nothing. Making friends, I hope!

@night57byrd

replied to your post

“Things I Try to Remember When I’m Nervous About Writing”

Thank you for this advice and wisdom. I have long harbored dreams of writing but have allowed my inner inner critic hold me back. This posting has given me a tremendous boost. Thank you for the gift.

This was one of the most heartwarming comments I received, and it showed up on my dash on a day where it seemed like everything was just falling apart around me. I should thank you, for giving me the synergy boost to soldier through the rest of a very difficult day. Knowing that at least I’d done something that had helped someone that much helped me make it through without breaking down. So thank you, for your gift of strength to me. I sincerely hope you enjoy getting into the wonderful, if often stormy world of writing (and I hope you’re able to get another season out of Pitch--I’ve been meaning to give that show a shot, along with Southside With You, but it just hasn’t happened for me, yet).

@wtf-and-shit

replied to your post

“Things I Try to Remember When I’m Nervous About Writing”

I really needed this cause I’ve been in a slump of sorts. Even asked myself “what do others want to read?”

And @whenimaunicorn has similar woes:

sometimes i lose my own voice trying to please the whole crowd but i'm just writing 'my' story not 'the' story i gotta remember that

Asking what others want to read (or conversely, what other want you to write) is a nasty trap I’ve fallen into multiple times. It’s not even conscious, half the time, you just start worrying if the words you’re putting on the page are just going to be too weird, to boring, or just not what people want to see. You start tweaking things to better reflect what you think others want to see, and before you know it, you’re writing something you really just don’t care about at all. I really sincerely believe that the best way to keep a story from falling over dead is to be continually invested in the content, even if that means changing the story to accommodate you when your interests change. That can sometimes lead the story in strange directions, but better a story be strange than incomplete, I would think.

Several people commented about calling themselves names:

@freestridingprinces said:

One of my very cute kouhais tagged me in this. I have a terrible habit of doing all of the negative things on this list. I’ve called myself boring many times. I will stop. I would never call anyone else who I’ve ever spoken with boring. So, I’m working on staying positive and nice to myself along with you all. Thank you for being kind to me when I needed it.

while @thecrimsonarcher is similarly inclined:

#10 is my biggest issue. Honestly, judging by the lack of feedback from my writings, I have come to the conclusion that my writings lack creativity because I am unable to hold anyone’s attention. My story is a mixture between Lovecraftian horror, psychological horror, and Southern gothic. Nobody wants to read that during this day in age.

and further notes the difficulties of competing with erotica (sorry, I switch the order of paragraphs for effect):

It’s made worse when no one gives me feedback or likes the post. Was my story really that bad? Did it suck so bad it didn’t warrant a response? More often than not, I find myself deleting my progress that I post on Facebook or Tumblr. If no one will give it the time of day, why even post it? What’s the point? The only way you’ll ever get recognized for writing on Tumblr is if you do fanfics, especially erotic fanfics.

I suspect one of the reasons fanfiction is as popular as it is, is that you automatically have something of a fan base right from the getgo, because the material in question is...well, by definition, a product of fandom. It’s also just a fact of life that people love smut, and often they love it for smut’s sake, rather than paying much attention to the quality of the writing. And that’s fine! But it does make things complicated when what you write is not smut.

One thing I would recommend is looking up some good Genfic groups. Even if you’re not planning on writing exclusively sex/relationship-free stuff, they might be a good place to start with short stories, just to build an audience and start working in the right direction to find more people who are looking for more than just getting off.

@dust2dust34 chimed in,

i've been very unkind to myself lately with blood hands very unkind

and @headphonesandbackpack also gives themselves a hard time,

#i need to keep that in mind #also i tend to hate my writing style #i think it's incredibly boring #i bore the shit out of myself while boring #but my french teachers seem to love what i write??? #and when i read it like a year later i think it's not that bad #i guess i need to believe in myself

There’s a lot of people out there who beat themselves up over their percieved skill level:

@lechatrouge673: I HAVE A CRISIS OF CONFIDENCE AT LEAST ONCE A WEEKAND I FEEL LIKE AN UTTER FRAUD

@ishipmyselfwitheveryone: +sometimes i call myself 'useless sack of severed cocks' when i won't write good +maybe that's part of my problem

(Well...tbh, yes? haha, I can think of several politicians who are far more deserving of being called that right now...*ahem* ANYWAY...)

@dragonsinparis has some strong feelings (that I agree with) while falling to #10 even in tags:

#i'm a lazy enough writer that i only actually get off my ass if there's a story i desperately want that I can't find #(hence state of grace and this isn't what we meant especially) #but what you're looking for that you can't find can be as simple as a style or an aspect or a moment or a choice #which means that it is still rooted in your voice #ANYWAY EVERYONE KEEP WRITING #STORIES BUILD COMPASSION AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING WE NEED MORE OF IN THE WORLD IT IS THAT

So the self-berating issue seems to be pretty common, if completely unnecessary. Again the ability--or inability--to be able to get the words out perfectly is held as a measure of one’s talent or potential, and frustration with that and/or a lack of feedback leads to self-abuse--or it seems that way to me, correct me if I’m wrong, or want to add to this analysis. I’m no expert...but I remember that’s kinda how it worked, for me. I thought I should be able to just be better, and additionally, I didn’t want anyone to think I was stuck-up or pretentious about my work, so I said a lot of damaging things about myself and my writing, just to keep my expectations down so I could avoid disappointment. Problem was, the more I said it, the more I believed it, and the harder it was to actually feel like writing was worth the effort. It wasn’t until very recently I found enough support for that behavior to change, and I’m much less likely to put myself down nowadays.

Several people were just happy that kindness showed up in their feed:

@litwww: Thank you, kind person who randomly appeared on my dash ❤

@letspartyrightnowplease: I really needed this right now as I’ve been struggling and stressing the heck out

@zodiacdog101: Thanks dude this helped through the slump I’m going through

@classicbkrder815: Reblog. Thanks i needed this today. Lol I’m going to read it everyday to inspire myself.

@orcaspanielmermaids: These are some of the kindest words I’ve received all week, after struggling with RL issues on top of fighting to get out of the corner I’ve written myself into. Thank you, OP. <3

@gymleader-nick: You have no idea how bad I needed to hear this right now.

I swear I’m not including these to fan my ego, I was just very surprised how many people seemed surprised to find something encouraging on their dash. I am very happy that the list helped! I hope it continues to. But as @dragonsinparis opined above, encouragement and compassion in the writing world appear to be in lamentably short supply.

Guilt over breaks, unfinished work and asking for attention also seems to be a big culprit of empty-page syndrome:

@beqm: I love the ‘You’re allowed to take breaks.“ Because right now I feel like I’m being a horrible slacker. I want to write but everything else seems to bee getting in the way.

@perpetuallyfive: #the guilt is what makes writing the hardest for me? #any time i'm struggling with something and think ''maybe switch to another piece for now'' i feel bad #any time i ask someone to look at my stuff #anytime i want to say i'm trying to write a thing and i worry i won't finish in time and then all i can think is that i never finish in time #i sometimes try not to even post a thing until another thing is half finished because there are those times when no one cares #about that last thing you posted and it's SO DISCOURAGING #like you accept that you just write for you but it makes it hard to continue the next thing when you can't stop thinking you know #maybe you're not that good anymore #maybe you never were maybe it was just the fandom you were in was fucking thirsty #writing is the worst honestly except for those limited few times when it's the best #(i've been trying to write lately. if you couldn't tell.) #anyway i'm going to reread this list a lot right now.

@icybluepenguin: #I wish I were better talking about my stories with other writers #It always helps #But I always feel so guilty

@woodlandcrowns: I'd love to have a support circle of [fanfiction] writers--or even for original stuff at timesbut I believe I'd be a bother

@effinunicorns: I need to work on the 'talking to people about my fic' thing more but it feels so awkward

#7 of the list is a quick reminder for me that however many unfinished works I have that I never tell anyone about, there are just as many behind all the finished, polished stories I see on the AO3 pages of my friends. And hey, some people are simply more prolific than others, and that’s all right. Has no bearing on your worth as a writer if you cannot churn out chapter after chapter. Focus on what you want to do, what’s exciting for you to write right now. Then go for it. At some point, you’re going to get absorbed in one of those projects until it’s finished. It might take a while, even years, but it will happen, and you’ll find your groove along the way.

I should’ve made a 7.1: the number of finished works is not a measure of whether you’re a good writer. It’s worth considering that the purpose of writing, as an art, isn’t always to follow a story all the way to completion. If writing is a sort of “zen” thing for you, something you do to explore ideas for yourself, communicate them to others, and just enjoy and grow as a person through the process, it really doesn’t matter if the stories go unfinished, as long as you benefit from the exercise. Writing can be as much akin to meditation as it can be a job that you live off of. If that’s how it works for you, it’s still legit and you can still be extremely good at it. Even if you never finish a single piece, if it’s making your life better, don’t sweat it. Enjoy your talent for what it is. You can always hone it, but if the process of trying is both failing and causing you to lose confidence or self-esteem, maybe your writing pattern and skill is just different from that of the typical “career writer.” Maybe not, but it’s worth thinking about, and if that’s how it is for you, don’t let anyone tell you that you suck just because.

A lot of people are scared/already convinced that nothing they produce is any good and no one wants to read it:

@formsans96: I just feel that no one does like them that much. Even my finished works.

@canadian-buckbeaver: I keep looking at the views and kudos of other stories and it immediately affects me. “Why am I not that popular?” “Am I not that good?” But then I read everyone’s comments… immediately feel better.

@noodle-dogs: #I HAVE LIKE....3 BIG PLOTS IN MY HEAD RN #BUT IM JUST SCARED MY WRITING WONT BE GOOD ENOUGH

@decembercamiecherries: I get really nervous when writing WTWFI'm scared it won't turn out good and pple will be disappointed

@talentlessandoptimistic: #the downside is I'm literally the only person who wants to read it #which is why I don't share it

@sandrasr91: sometime I want to write but I don't know if it'll be any good

@itsactuallycorrine: # i keep telling myself i just need to put words on the page # but i'm at the halfway point and doubting everything

This is writer anxiety #1, and I’m 100% convinced that (in addition to the effects of more uncontrollable factors such as clinical depression and other intrusive MI in some individuals) it results from a lack of support. If no one ever reads your stuff or says anything good about it, how are you supposed to know if it’s an effective piece of writing or not?

That’s another way of combating writing anxiety: Don’t judge stories in terms of “good” and “bad.” I tend to think of most stories as “good,” even if they’re poorly written. We all wrote crappy stories before we wrote “good” ones, but it was still good that we went through the experience of writing the crappy ones, and old stories still have a certain charm about them.

Rather, I try to look at stories in terms of their effectiveness: did they reach the reader on a personal level? Did I communicate what I wanted to say? If so, then the piece was a success, was effective. If not, it was an ineffective piece, and I’ll just have to work on making sure the next one comes across more clearly.

But nothing, no philosophy, no reminders, no lists can substitute for friends and writing/reading buddies. It’s so important to establish those, or you’re likely to feel isolated and distraught when you post your blood sweat and tears to a brick wall and receive nothing in response for your efforts.

If you’re not writing fanfiction, there is a group called Critters (critters dot org) that I cannot recommend highly enough. They call themselves a “workshop,” but really, they’re a fantastic resource for submitting manuscripts for (gentle, but useful!) critique. There’s a very reasonable, common-sense but quite in-depth etiquette for critting others’ work (people tell you when you do something RIGHT, too!), and you are required to critique a few short stories before you can submit your own, but it’s not hard, and gives you a lot of great practice on both giving and receiving writing assistance. I used this group for a few years while I was unemployed, and the people there are wonderful and helped me a great deal. Do give it a look if you’re having a hard time finding anyone to read your work. You’ll make some friends!

There was one comment that caught my eye on this note:

@mamakat926: All good things I need to remember when I’m struggling to write my first fanfic…

I wish you the best of luck! The first one is always hard. And even though you’re writing fanfiction, it’s worth having a look at Critters (critters dot org)! There’s so many resources there to help you get off the ground with your first attempts.

Of course, I have to mention the lovely @lidicores, who translated the entire post into Portuguese. I can’t read a lick of it, but that was awesome, haha!

I needed this right now. I’ve been lacking drive to write since last november. The emptiness is excrucianting. Then a week ago a friend asked me about the story and I suddenly started to think about it again. I even reread some chapters… hopefully I’ll be back soon. Hopefully…

Oh, English is not my first language, so, don’t you worry, I’m not this bad writing in Portuguese. LOL

Having two or more languages under your belt already gives you a leg up on most writers. I hope you’re able to get back into it, soon.

Several people expressed concern about coming back to writing after a long hiatus:

@mxrdins: #i wanna start writing fanfics too :( #i mean long ones in englisn #but am i too late with it #after all im 18 lol and there is a looooong break behind me in writing

@sazula: I haven't written anything in so long but i want to

@arie-172: # i need to remind myself of so many of these# idk but it's been so long since i've written something that i had forgotten what it was to feel this way# you know the way in which you kind of second guess everything

@dragontameroutofcharacter: mmmmm i feel like this is · why i can't write lately tho · there isn't · anything i want to read · like honestly lately i just · want to sleep · i work and i come home and i try to stay awake until evening · i've got books i was so excited to get · that i'm still not reading · haven't even started · i miss writing ·

Just like when you’re first starting out, getting back into it is a question of connection and support, knowing who and what your resources are, and using them. And patience with, and compassion for yourself. You can’t expect the first thing you produce to be as clean as the last thing you wrote before your hiatus, so avoid comparing them. Maybe you want to try a new style or a different perspective, just for fun or to keep the results from being comparable in the first place. I really hope all of you are able to dive back in, though. And 18 is not at all too old! I skipped 3 years of writing between 16 and 19, and it didn’t take me long to get back up to speed.

One person expressed skepticism at the implications of needing/taking writing advice from a tumblr post:

@epherians: #I DON'T FEEL SURE WHEN I HAVE TO FIND COMFORT IN WRITING ADVICE POSTS…

I understand and even share this sentiment, and of course you’re perfectly welcome to throw all this out the window with no resentment from my end! But...I’m curious, have you ever seen the movie, Adaptation? If not, you really should. Even though it has Nick Cage in it. Or because it does, depending on your persuasion.

Now, to a few slightly more personal responses. The first is more of a question, because I spotted this tag in one of the reblogs: ableist language ...I wanted to ask, @arathergrimreaper, was this meant to note that I used such language in my post? If so, please let me know where I messed up so I can fix it! And I’m quite sorry if I injured anyone with some bad wording in there.

@theladyjanes used the tag such powerful words for the post, and that...I dunno, it just hit me hard. Thank you. Powerful is not often a word that is used to describe me or what I say, so I appreciate it, a lot.

@americannoteven said,

#I've reread this about 15 times now #each time feels more and more personal #bc fuck #I should... stop being so hard on myself

Yes, please...if you can manage it, give yourself a break. I hope that the list helped you, and I hope you work through your writing struggles soon. My message and ask boxes are always open, to everyone. =)

@xbean wrote,

#It's taken me a while to get back into it especially when someone you called your best friend read one and made you feel like shit after the

Okay so this messed with me, because...well, because this happened to me several years ago. And I’m sorry, so sorry that that happened to you. It’s a horrible, awful feeling. I hope you can get back into the swing of writing--and if you have to, use spite and resentment to fuel your determination to write, no matter what anyone thinks about it. It’s yours. Do your thing! The best antidote for the shame and hurt is to just keep writing, and when you finally get through the pain, you will have leaned an incredible amount about what parts of your writing are yours and how to discard the pieces you put in there simply to please others. Be strong, you can make it through.

@bamfcoyotetango raged,

FUCK IF I DIDN'T NEED THIS AFTER THE SHIT SHOW THAT GREETED MY LATEST CHAPTER

29 HITS FOR A CHAPTER NEARLY 2K LONG

Another awful feeling, working especially hard on a story or chapter, only to have no one comment, and hardly anyone even look at it.

It likely isn’t that your writing is bad or even ineffectual, though. It could have been a bad time of day to post. Your normal readers just might not have been available. Did you let anyone know that the chapter was up? Try pinging them, if not. In any case, don’t immediately think that silence means it sucked and no one liked it, or that it was too boring for strangers to notice. True is, it’s really hard to make a title that gets people’s attention without designing it as pure clickbait (and if you’ve avoided that nasty habit, good on you!).

I hope your next chapters garner more interest. Out of curiosity, what’s the story about?

@takemeawaymothman said, this last one really like? got to me

-- and it seems like, while #1 (write what you want to read) was the most popular/cited, #10 (don’t call yourself names) had the strongest reaction...a few tags suggesting it pulled some tears. I’m a little curious as to why that is...is it really so rare for anyone to tell you that you are not stupid? Gosh...I want to give all of you hugs, haha!

(also, cool account name!)

@bastian-casillas-fussballgott (omg, I spelled it!) simply said, this means a lot to me. This seems like one of those quiet, but profound statements, and I’m happy that this little list was so meaningful. I hope it helps.

@fireferns said,

#making a bunch of these things stuff i think and believe had helped my writing more than anything

And I wholeheartedly agree that...nothing on that list really does anything to help if you do not internalize it. It has to be something you’re just as willing to tell other people. And it’s not comprehensive! Nor is it for everyone. Many people mentioned that they actually do write better without any outside interference. That’s great--the list was just my list, and I think everyone would probably benefit from making their own, tailoring it to what works best for their writing style.

@infinitelystrangemachinex echoes my feelings:

#I am nervous about writing 100% of the time#It is the most stressful and unforgiving thing I have ever done and ever will do#but I also love it more than anything

Yes, yes! Even writing this, I am constantly thinking about how it all can go wrong, how people might be mad at me for @’ing them, or think I’m creepy for having gone through all the notes and read them...but, I just have this thing I have to get out, you know, and as terrifying and sometimes heartbreaking as it has been, nothing has ever been more rewarding to me, or caused so much positive growth in me, than my writing. And if I don’t constantly defy my anxiety, it takes hold of me and paralyzes me. So, writing is not just important. To me, it’s necessary. I imagine it’s that way for many other people, too.

@pandora15 had a conundrum:

#this is giving me inspiration to work on my clone wars fic

#but like

#i have an exam tomorrow

#so i shouldn't

#ugh but I WANT TO

#this is hard

I have to know...what did you choose?

@thetamburlaine got excited about their AU plotbunny--er, porpoise?:

this actually got me writing right away after a few weeks slump the two first points did it i think anyway for future encouragement free willy au here i come

WOW, I’m glad it helped that much--and also, wow again, a Free Willy AU? I’d never have imagined there would be fanfiction for that movie, but now that I think about it, it kinda makes sense. I’m very curious!

@irresistible-revolution said that #i might be crying #the blogger had an emotional day y'all and I really hope that wasn’t a bad thing. I don’t want my post to have made things worse! I hope you’re all right.

And finally, @positivelycurious writes #needed this as I'm attempting to finally write a memoir -- A memoir, really? That’s awesome, I’ve never met anyone who’s written one, before. Good luck!

Um...okay, I think that’s all. I know that there will be more notes after this date (05/07/2017), but unfortunately it will be very hard for me to separate old from new comments and tags, so I may never be able to get to answering any more. Sorry about that, but please know that I read everything, even tags, and this post has just gone on an unbelievable journey through so many people, if only briefly. I appreciate all the feedback and hope it continues to help others get out of their writer’s block.

I also apologize if this post is in any way out of line or uncomfortable to those I’ve tagged in it. I mulled for a long time on whether or not to do it this way, rather than just sending individual messages to everyone I mention here. Again, if you want to be removed from this post, tell me and I will do so immediately. The reason I made this post is at least partially based on a post I made about two years ago, where I called out as many of my followers as I could to tell them how and why I was thankful for them. Really, that’s what I’m trying to do here, too. Although most of you do not follow me, and honestly, you probably have no reason to start, just being aware of you and your writing troubles, and the fact that I may have helped them just a little bit, makes you all very important to me. There’s so much creativity out there and I hate to see it bottled. Your gratitude and thanks have been a constant stream of comfort during a terribly stressful time in my life, and for that, I really cannot thank you enough.

Even though we’re complete and total strangers, I know you matter, and so do your stories. Do not give up on them. The world is better if they’re written, that they might fall into the hands of someone who needs them.

-Luna

#misc #writing #writer problems #response post #long post #longpost #stories are important #please tell yours #even if it's fiction #there is nothing fictional about the comfort of fictional things #not video games #essay #okay #this is my last attempt #if tumblr breaks it again...oh well #we'll see

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emprezz48 · 8 years ago

Text

Midnight Thoughts Part it’s-about-my-oshimen-graduating-soon-so-I-need-to-let-it-out-somewhere

Haven’t done this ever since Murai Junna grad... and here am I doing another one about Sakai Mei...

As usual, Imma put the “keep reading” thing after this so you can skip this post and have a nice day (if you want to read this, feel free to waste your time)

Enjoy~

It all started when I watched the first episode of ebi calcio which was aired in late 2014 (but I watched it like really early 2015). It was a danso episode and Mei participated in it and MAI GAWD SHE WAS IKEMEN AS FFFFFF!!! My weakness is danso, so Mei really caught my attention... It wasn’t the first time I heard of her name (I found out about NonMei combi first but I never really paid much attention???) but after watching this episode, I totally could remember her.

2015 was a busy year for me, so I only had time to focus on a few SKE members (with my oshimen being Rena at that time) but months later after Rena graduated (and when I gave up being busy lololol) I started focusing on more and more members, with Mei being one of them. I found out how cool she is, but at the same time really cute and pretty, and quite a chikin XD (and also how she’s a 97 liner like me whaaaaaaat???) and that was the time when I really like NonMei as a pairing and shipped them like a delulu fan I am lol... I really started to like Mei more and more and she became one of my favourite members.

This photo was back in Fuyucon 2015? I stumbled upon this and I asked myself “Oh? Isn’t this Goto Risako? Wow she’s actually so prettyyyyyyy~ I wonder if she’s close to Mei?” I did my research and found out that this two same-aged girls get along pretty well despite being from a different gen and team, Risako appointed Mei as the leader of gorisa children, Mei calling Risako “Gori” despite the seniority, and there are few others cute moments here and there. If wasn’t for this photo, I wouldn’t have gotten soooooo into Risako, the member whom I can relate to the most...

Also, being a DD then (without me realizing actually) I like a lot of SKE members, like really a lot. I couldn’t just stick to a member or two, pretty much I didn’t have an “oshimen”. But I was really really really following this two, commenting on their SNS, reading their blogs, digging up their older times in SKE, so on and so forth that it led to my decision to support them equally in 2016 (IT WAS ONLY LAST YEAR WTH) It was a gamble tbh. Despite being the youngest in their respective gens, they belong to the old gen of SKE. They’re also underrated as fuck (oh my god don’t get me started talking about Mei especially, wait you know what? I’ll actually get into that soon.) but I still decided to make both my oshimen instead of finding young buds (I DID FOR A WHILE BUT JUNNA...........)

I never felt so happy for an idol before. SSK is something that I have mixed feelings about, but when Mei finally ranked last year, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I eventually cried. 63rd was a nice rank, and although it was just ONE vote, I was proud to be part of the meiteam (name of her fanbase) that helped her rank in^^ A part of me wished I had more money to spend on votes, but in general I was really happy because Mei was happy. In 2015, she managed to rank in during the preliminary round, but not getting ranked in the actually was really a frustrating moment for her. Getting ranked in SSK is one opportunity to get exposed, and I must say I was glad Mei had quite a number of jobs last year.

I started to think “Wow, 2016 is really a good year for Mei” and everyone was like “RISE MEIMEI RISE” thinking she’ll continue getting chances to shine. Too bad, what we all thought was WRONG.

16th February, that was when Mei announced her graduation during Team E kouen in order to focus on achieving her dreams in becoming an actress. It’s a dream she had for a long time, and her thoughts of graduation wasn’t a sudden one. She has talked more in her blog (I translated it here) Basically this will be a positive graduation as she’s taking one step ahead in her life.

To be honest, when she said she has thought of graduating since a year ago, I really didn’t know. All the good stuff happened in 2016 made me didn’t realize that she could leave just anytime. Then again, I can’t say that I wasn’t prepared for this. In fact, a day before her announcement, the list of members being able to participate in P4U event was released, and aside from members who already announced graduation before, Mei’s name was the only one not in the list. I must say, her fans got really scared and worried, and watched kouen the next day in fear. I was in that situation too, but I told myself to just think positively.

Of course, even with that hint, I still cried. I barely heard what she said after the “I will be graduating from SKE” part that I had to find a clip and re-watch it. I thought to myself “I wonder if my reaction would be worst if I didn’t found out about the P4U thing” but after a while, I realized that I’ll still feel sad no matter what. Yes, I am happy that Mei is starting a new chapter in life, I already told myself I’m still gonna support her and try to follow whatever stuff she gonna do in the future. But Mei being in SKE played an important role in how my wota life went for the past year. I was never SO gachi before. Yes, one year is so short, but in one year, a lot of things can happen. So I think things will change a little for me once April starts.

Ok, if there’s one thing I should be frustrated about, then that’s about the fact that she’s a freaking underrated member. Although I did say that a lot of good things happened in 2016 for Mei, that’s just because for the past years she’s in SKE, there was absolutely nothing for her. I guess it was because she was young or something, but I’ve seen her performances at least way back to 2014, and I must say, she is arguably a really good performer! No matter what she does, she looks cool. Besides that, she’s also a fun person who not only just perform, but also “interacts” and play around with members during kouen. MC, excellent. She’s good at tsukkomi. Despite overall being a good performer, it just gets me sometimes seeing her dance positions during kouen.... It’s always at the back... On top of that, never had a chance to center any unit before!!!!!! This is insane to me tbh... There were so many times I saw chances for her to center a unit (for eg. Ame no Pianist unit during TeTsuna shuffle kouen) BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED LIKE THERE WERE SO MANY CHANCES!!!!!!! Like come on... if we can see bad dancers being put up as center (not pointing on any member btw) then why can’t we see members who are clearly capable to center, not getting a chance? Like seriously, all I wanted was just ONE chance...

Which is why, when Suuchan started her own Suumelo Senbatsu (or what she name it as Melodies) and appointed Mei as the center, I was on cloud nine. Mei never had such opportunity for the past 6 years, yet her own fellow team member could gave her that spotlight. I could never thank Suuchan enough for this, although sadly, Melodies hasn’t fully formed yet (Suuchan still haven’t announced all the members) so they can’t start any activity. With Mei graduating already, we can never get to see her acting out as the center of the unit... but nevertheless, the title still counts, so I’m really thankful to Suuchan, really.

I may have sounded like I’m complaining a bit too much, but overall, I think Mei had a really really great time in SKE. She definitely learnt a lot in the past 6 years and grow up to be the best she can be. I know she love her fans a lot, she’s nice to everyone, even though she don’t give kami taiou during HS or something. In my case, since I’ve never been to HS, I could see her kindness through her replies in 755 (ok at least back when she often uses it before having twitter) I could be asking something specific, or commenting generic stuff like “have fun during kouen” or “how’s your day?” and she would still reply to them^^ Seriously nice. Like really. Cuz I do know that my japanese grammar is kinda horrible, some sentences sound weird, but she was really nice^^ It maybe ridiculous, but I screenshot all her replies to me, since I’m just an international fan who does not have $$$ and freedom to go to HS .^. SIGHHHHHHHH but anyways, I really treasure those replies as those were our ONLY interactions~ I actually wanted to write a fanletter (like legit write one and send it) but there’s way too much problems in my hand so I regretfully decided to leave it out...

ANDDDDDDD I should wrap this up since it’s already so long.........

As I’m typing this, it’s roughly 5:10 AM Japan Time so there’s around 13 hours till her graduation kouen? Obviously gonna watch it, but I’m gonna have to sleep first lol. I don’t know what kind of emotion I should have, but I hope the kouen will run smoothly. I also hope she’ll have fun and have a memorable last kouen, and although it’s weird to say this, I am looking forward to it.

Bye.

#sakai mei #SKE48 #midnight thoughts #i should sleep now #good night #thanks for reading #if you made it this far that is #i think this is a really messy structure #sorry about that #i think i've said all that i want to say #i hope so #but whatever #it doesn't matter this is supposed to be some random midnight though #*thought dammit #ok too much emotion going on #i'm sleeping now #bye

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migook · 8 years ago

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Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh take two. I started this post, saved as a draft and then POOF. it gone.

Anyway first off wow this is post 100 and i’m like CAN U BELIEVE but also woooow that’s sad cos for as long as I’ve had this blog I.... should have posted way more, but whatever can’t change the past!

Obligatory spiel about my absence: January was a really shit month, as January tends to be for me, and so it’s taken me an unnecessarily long time to get back here and to my studying, but now that I’ve got my books out again, everything feels SO GOOD. I can’t describe how good it feels to be somewhere in my book and able to figure out what I’m reading and understand things with certain clarity. I find often I spend a lot of time struggling to really understand what I’m taking in and thus not really taking it in at all and it basically makes me feel very muddled and confused and not like I’m learning anything. So to reach a point - ESPECIALLY after a really bad phase of fogginess and incomprehension - where things just CLICK and I can actually not only understand but EXPLAIN them? Guh, it’s an indescribable feeling. I can’t compare it to anything else.

But like I said, January was just terrible. I was reading back on old entries in here and there was a post or two that were just difficult to read for that reason. It was a long period of doing nothing but sleeping or wanting to sleep and an awful, impenetrable foggy haze and nothing was retained. I started back where I left off, under my recent plans that I’ll just spend less time doing excessive reviews and hoping it’ll come back to me or I can figure it out by context but it was so obvious I retained nothing that I HAD to do a review. Fortunately, I’d only just started EWHA 2-1 so it wasn’t like I had a LOT to review but it was definitely necessary! I struggled so much with it back then that by the time I reviewed it now, it was practically new.

On the bright side, the review made me REALLY understand things! That’s not to say it was totally easy. I definitely struggled this time around and had to look up some things or else ask Kat for help (she insists she did nothing but she was literally the key to me understanding -에 비해서 because the book didn’t explain it well at all and even the study guide didn’t help me enough because I just was in that weird plastic-wrapped brain feeling where nothing actually sinks in!)

The point I’m getting at is: it was one of those times where a review was highly necessary and I’m really happy with this feeling of understanding. At night I’ve been trying to review grammar points in my head before I sleep, which is something I should become more diligent with.

Now that I’m caught up to where I was before, I think I’m going to take a break from plunging on and just work with the grammar and vocabulary I’ve learned, so that I can try to make them REALLY stick. I was talking on twitter about this, but twitter is twitter so it’s really hard to express myself sometimes but. I want to get to a point where these grammar points are a little more inherent. To this day, the only grammar point that I consider to be TRULY inherent to me is -고 싶다 lmao but a lot of them I can typically recall or understand when I read, but I need to reach the point where if i want to speak or write something, I don’t have to spend 800 years thinking of it - and that’s where I am right now. Obviously this means I have to give myself a lot of writing exercises, so that’s what I’m going to do! As well as that, I know flashcards aren’t the most useful things, but I think as a supplement, they work well for me. In the end, the best way to learn vocabulary is by USING it and coming up with sentences that you can recall, and reading things and just immersing yourself with it, but in that sense, flashcards can help if only to drill a sense of familiarity. (But never rely on flashcards alone!)

I guess this post doesn’t say very much at all but mostly it’s just serving as my own update. I have a lot of notes but I’m not sure how I wanna blog them, so I guess instead I wanna work on writing things first. Another thing I mentioned on twitter re: retaining grammar points is that for a lot of these, I don’t speak the way they do. My voice is very strong, I know, and I have a very certain manner of speaking, and that’s a big thing about learning another language is learning to think in the way of that new language. How I speak in English may not translate well to Korean. I certainly don’t have enough grammar knowledge, I don’t think, to do so yet, and maybe I never will - and that’s okay. English =/= Korean. So a big part of this practice of writing with grammar points is learning to think in that manner. I think this is maybe whey it’s so hard for me to sometimes write sentences? (That and my belief that my vocabulary is far more limited than it really is.) Learning to think in new ways is difficult, especially when you’re so very set in your own ways! But it’s such a necessity. Therefore, I plan to start small by doing things like writing 10 sentences and then maybe I’ll do 10 more, but incorporating more grammar points. (For example, the aforementioned -에 비해서 made use of this with some of their sample and practice sentences, where they’d throw in things like 어제 본 영화는 재미있어요? And you’d be surprised at how often that sometimes throws me for a loop. I really do forget so much that I can say things like “Was the movie you saw yesterday fun?” like. It’s just PROOF that I need to do so much work! Note taking and studying only does so much, duh! Stop being lazy self!)

Mostly I’m just in this really great position of understanding things and being able to use them and I know once I forage ahead it’ll be all new stuff, and that’s okay. As long as I get myself feeling even better about using these pieces, I’ll be good! Like I said before, I really, really love how it feels to be at this place - esp when I’ve had so many bouts of feeling worthless and stupid and just incapable of a lot of things. It feels good to feel like I’m LEARNING and going somewhere, instead of reading, comprehending and then struggling. Aaaaaaaah!

#studyblr #langblr #Korean #EWHA 2 1

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patheticphallacy · 5 years ago

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Hallo!

So let’s start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July. I’ve got through it now, and I have basically the next month and a half of content already scheduled in preparation for my return to Uni, but the rut was real, guys.

I spend a lot of time on my posts and I found myself very low regarding the content and the amount of response I get to what I post. I know blogging is a lengthy process, I’m not going to immediately get response considering the blog is only just over two years old, and I genuinely love writing these posts and reviews. It’s a worry I tackle often, but sometimes it just gets to me and makes me feel kind of hopeless of ever getting over my general anxiety regarding interacting with other people. I keep my distance just because I don’t know how to make friends in the community, and I feel like that translates over to my blog sometimes too, but I’m really trying to change that by talking to more people!

Other than that: August was boring. I read, I watched random stuff, and I worked overtime shifts so I have enough money for rent when Uni starts. I’m honestly a pretty boring person during off-time from University just because of how far away I am from people, combined with my lack of money. Maybe next Summer will be more exciting.

I also want to add that my blog is going to be a lot busier now the end of the year is approaching. I always seem to have a calm period in November, but every other month, expect chaos! Good chaos, though. Friendly chaos. October is a great month for me as I love horror and supernatural things, which means I have twice as many post ideas.

READING WRAP UP

Assassination Classroom Volume 3-4 by Yusei Matsui– I expect to read more Assassination Classroom this month, but I ended up starting another popular manga series (that’ll come up later). I did enjoy these two volumes, and we got some intriguing looks into Korosensei’s backstory.

Ibitsu by Haruto Ryo– I hated this. Straight up. It felt very targeted towards the humiliation of teenage girls with a lot of unneeded torture and nudity, and I just felt sick after reading it, and not in a way I can enjoy with some stories.

Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love Volume 1-4 by Yayu Sakuragi– This is an age-gap romance between an 18 year old and his childhood friend who is… six/eight years older than him, one of the two. There were some really weird moments, for sure, and I won’t dispute that the age gap was kinda gross at points, but I feel like by the end the conversations on adulthood and the main character finally having his frustrations recognised meant a lot.

My Love Story Volume 7-13 by Kazune Kawahara– I’m in a perpetual state of mourning now that I’ve finished this series. It’s one of my all-time favourites. The ending is so heartfelt and they get into heavier issues towards the final volume that I feel helped carry the main relationship from feeling young into adulthood as the characters began college. It addresses jealousy and feelings of incompetence, while never belittling the trust these characters have in one another. It’s handled so maturely and so unlike other stories, and I’m satisfied with the conclusion, even if my heart is broken.

My Hero Academia Vigilantes Volume 4 by Hideyuki Furuhashi– Not as good as volume 3, but has some solid character development and we finally have a showdown of sorts. This does end on a cliffhanger, fair warning.

Starlike Words by Junko– Reaaaally didn’t like this. Poor development of character and relationship and the nudity felt gratuitous and gross, especially considering these characters are only 15/16.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling– Another one that disappointed me. I have a review for this linked at the end of this post, just know that I had issues with the treatment of toxic relationships and a victim blaming attitude.

Peter and Alice by John Logan– An OK read that’s very meta, a play that imagines the meeting behind Peter Llewelyn Davies and Alice Liddell in 1932. It’s very tragic and the weaving of the characters they inspired into their own stories was incredible, but I found myself thinking the whole time about how this… probably didn’t happen. I know I should have suspended my disbelief, it just felt impossible.

One Piece Volume 1-11 by Eiichiro Oda– EE. This series is great! I literally started the longest running manga series I’ve come across so far and I don’t regret starting it, even if I did at first. The first 100 chapters have flown by with incredible character development and a wonderful world being shaped, and I adore it.

Their Body and Their Afterthought by Shelby Eileen– Not my favourite poetry collection. I don’t want to be too harsh, but it felt like it reiterates what I’ve read in other collections on similar themes and issues without ever offering anything new with form.

I Hate Fairyland Volume 1 by Skottie Young– I previously read this volume years ago. After a re-read, I’ve lowered my rating. I’ve just read way too many different comics and manga and whatnot to not be slightly critical. The art is still great, but it felt like I was struggling to get through this at points, especially after starting volume 2 and having to stop from boredom. It feels repetitive.

Sunshine, Sadness and Other Floridian Effects by Shelby Eileen– This collection was better than Their Body, luckily! It has some stunning imagery, calling up impressions of water and the turning of the tide in tandem with loss coinciding with moments of happiness, and I do recommend it.

Faithless #3/#4 by Brian Azzarello– Starting to get bored with this series. There’s only so much shocking stuff and nudity without any kind of explanation for it before you grow tired. I’ll carry on reading for a few issues; I’m just ready to drop it if nothing much keeps happening.

Pochamani Volume 1-5 by Kaname Hirama– Ohhh this was such a great series! It’s out of print so I had to read it online, and only the first five volumes are actually translated, which was so disappointing but I still recommend this series. It’s got the first fat main character I’ve seen in a manga series, and has so much conversation surrounding body shaming and positivity and the constant grappling with self-hate when you have a fat body. It means a lot to me, and seeing a romance where a fat girl is adored by her boyfriend is so wholesome.

The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell– I literally started this last year and it took me that whole period of time to read 140 pages, and then in the space of a week I read the last 150. There’s definitely a sense of elitism and anti-genre fiction (especially what is typically branded as targeted towards women) which aggravated me, but the general humour was great and there was an interesting insight into the running of independent bookshops.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling– I feel like I’ve gone OFF about this book on here in August, but this book deserves it. It’s an intense psychological sci-fi horror where main character, Gyre, goes on a caving mission that ends up being more than it first appears. I love the relationship that develops between Gyre and Em, and I highly recommend the audiobook!

My Life with Bob by Pamela Paul– I have a whole review on my Goodreads that I feel summarises my issues with this book. I enjoyed this, but same with Shaun Bythell’s book, there’s a definite sense of elitism in some ways. I think Pamela Paul was willing to paint herself negatively in some respects and show the harmful thought processes she could have, and I appreciated that. My review is a lot more elaborate! Sorry!

Pen & Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton– This is a fun side-by-side of tattoos with the explanations behind them from the people that have them. The stories are whacky and fun, in some places, but are also sentimental and heartfelt in others, and I like the different thought processes behind getting them and the way everyone still seems to love them.

My Hero Academia Volume 19 by Kohei Horikoshi– SO. GOOD. The real strength of this series lies in how well developed the characters and their relationships are, and this volume especially reaffirms that. Aoyama is so sweet and if he’s the traitor I’ll riot!

TBR JAR PICK FOR SEPTEMBER IS: WILLFUL MACHINES by Tim Floreen! My best friend picked this one out for me, thank you friend!

THINGS I WATCHED

I FINALLY went to the cinema again and watched BTS: Bring the Soul. I loved it.

I re-watched Daddy Day Care (don’t ask, it’s literally the only film I watched on Netflix the whole month and I hate that) and it opens with Ben– Eddie Murphy’s in-movie son– climbing out of bed and putting on the exact same Spongebob slippers my sister and I had when we were younger and it was amazing. I’ve never felt so nostalgic over something so unintentional in a film.

Not a watch, but a listen: the Teenage Scream podcast hosted by Kirsty Logan and Heather Parry, where they read and breakdown classic Point Horror novels from the 90s.

As always, I watched random stuff on deep dives on YouTube. This included: An Aesthetic History of The 1975, fat people don’t belong in magazines (it’s not what it sounds like), Being Lowborn w/ Kerry Hudson (an author interview! yes!), and I guess I’ll recommend the latest paperbackdreams video because I love Kat’s channel!

POSTS

University: Second Year Breakdown

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 1

REVIEW: These Witches Don’t Burn

Shakespeare Plays as Taylor Swift Songs

REVIEW: The Luminous Dead

Top Ten Tuesday: Read Books I Wish I Owned!

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 2

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August Wrap Up Hallo! So let's start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July.

#august #books #movies #reading wrap up #tv shows #wrap up

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