#trying to push through the fatigue in my hands D:

[sparklychimecho]

Your art and comics of the train twins is so amazing, I just love everything you post! You are a wonderful artist and storyteller!

Thank you for your words! I've been working to improve my storytelling skills in my comics and I hope to only get better at it! :>

Here's a sketch I made as a warmup for today! (I've been hit with the super-effective drawing fatigue lately...)

Thank you again!!

[madschiavelique]

hii i love your work!

i was wondering if you could write a sensitive fem!reader x Miguel O’Hara x Peter B smut? peter is like a soft dom and miguel is a hard dom?

miguel of course says something a little to mean while fucking her from behind, and she starts to cry and peter is all like “miguel, you made her cry”

thank you 🙏🏼

OMG anon you don't know what this did to me

you just provoked my new addiction : i want to write so much more miguel x reader x peter now i'm OBSESSED (also tumblr was kinda bugging while i tried doing this post so i hope things will be alright fdvfbsef - and this is not proofread :D)

summary : miguel made you cry because he was mean as you were eiffel towered by him and Peter B.

content warnings : SMUT (18+) minors dni, hard dom!miguel o'hara, soft dom!peter b. parker, reader being eiffel towered (i'm french and feeling very patriotic on this one🥖), miguel being a bit too mean, overstimulation, pnv sex, sodomy, no use of Y/N word count : 1,2k

tag list : @fandom-ash

You whimpered once more, your whole body feeling electric and tired at the same time as you sank down shakily. Miguel was behind you, his warm breath landing on your ear as you felt his torso bulge against your back. Peter was facing you, kissing your shoulder as your breasts pressed against his chest.

You couldn't tell the time any more, whether it had been an hour or more that they were fucking you without stopping. Many orgasms had been reached, and your body was floating in this cloud of overstimulation. You were exhausted, at the end of your rope, with barely enough energy to lift your body and sink on both of their dicks buried in you.

Needing to regain your strength and rest both your thighs and your whole body, which had been in orgasmic succession, you rested for a moment, not moving as their two cocks stayed all warm in you.

"Did I say you could stop?" Miguel grunted against your back, his teeth grazing your skin as his hand rested on your thighs and squeezed your flesh between his massive fingers.

You let out a moan, your head falling back to rest in the crook of Miguel's neck.

"I can't," you breathed shakily, "it's too much."

You could feel the electricity coursing through your thighs, your body on fire, absolutely exhausted by the effort that had been required of you from the start.

"Come on sweetheart," Peter encouraged, caressing your cheek as he waited for you to continue. "You can do this."

You inhaled harshly, pressing down on your trembling thighs to rise again and continue. The knot forming in your body stretched from your lower stomach to the small of your back. The overload of sensation was heightening your sensitivity to the limit, both physically and mentally.

Your legs were tired, trying to bury yourself properly on them. One of your hands had found its place on Peter's shoulder, the other holding Miguel's thigh and allowing you to hold on better as you went back and forth.

"Is that the best you can do?" Miguel grumbled against your ear, both your faces covered in a light sheen of sweat.

One of his hands went to your hip, digging his fingers into your skin as he pushed even deeper and you let out a moan. The fatigue was getting hard to handle, all the sensations mixed together, their breaths, their voices, their words...

"If you can't do it right, I'll find someone who can".

This sentence stung you in the chest. All you were doing was trying to do your best for them, to make them feel good and have your share in it too. Were you really that incapable? Were you so incompetent that you didn't do anything for them? Were you really that useless?

"Watch your mouth," Peter warned, not necessarily condoning the crude words his partner had just uttered.

But it was too late, your heart clenched, your throat constricted as a ball formed in it. Your eyes burned, you would have preferred not to cry, but your nose stung so much in your abstinence that you ended up breaking. When the tears came, you lowered your head against Peter's shoulder, and they flowed hard and committed.

"Hey what's that," he said, feeling beads running down his skin that he knew wasn't sweat.

You didn't dare look at them, your hips still moving, your shame and discouragement oppressing your chest.

"Look at me," he asked softly as his hand came to rest on your cheek.

You looked up, your eyes unable to find his. But he placed his index finger like a hook under your chin to raise it, and your wet eyes met his.

"Oh no," he said, mouth half open, "bunny, are you crying?"

You immediately felt Miguel tense up, his hand suddenly much softer against your skin.

"What?" he asked, gently sliding his hand over your jaw in the hope of turning you towards him and seeing your face.

But you pulled away from his touch and buried your face in Peter's shoulder, not feeling strong enough to face Miguel's gaze.

"Miguel, you made her cry," Peter said, stroking your hair gently as Miguel's mouth fell open in surprise.

He hadn't realised the impact words like that could have on you, especially in this context. You had been so good to them, and you still are, their absolute dream. You are perfection itself, and Miguel would obviously never want to replace you with anyone else.

"Muñeca..." he murmured against your back as he came to kiss you tenderly, his hand caressing your hip.

Your tears were still flowing, your back shaking with little jolts of heartache and pleasure.

"Mírame," he asked gently, kissing the back of your neck.

You breathed in, lifting your wet cheeks from Peter's shoulder and turning to meet Miguel's face.

His eyes instantly became pained, pained to have been the one to cause this state. He would never, ever wish for anyone but you. He caressed your cheek, kissing the corner of your eyes and licking your wet skin.

"Please forgive me, amor," he whispered against your skin, "you know I never meant these words, right?"

Your chin trembled and Peter put his hand on your other cheek to wipe it clean.

"You're the only one we want," Miguel assured you, his eyes fixed on yours. "You're the most perfect thing that ever happened to us, and we would never want anybody else than you."

You sniffled, the sweet words he gave you pressing into your heart like a comforting balm. You loved them both so dearly, and it felt good to know that they did too.

"How are you feeling right now?" Peter asked, kissing your cheek softly.

You breathed in, still feeling the exhaustion weighing on your thighs and body.

"Like everything's too much," you managed to whisper, sniffing and swallowing.

"Do you think you can come just once more for us, nena?" Miguel asked, kissing your shoulder gently and stroking your thigh with his thumb.

The knot in your stomach was still tight, and it was almost painful not to get any relief from it.

"Mhm," you nodded as you pushed on your thighs again to raise them up.

Miguel's hands both came to grip your hip to guide you, helping you to sink and rise much more easily and sparing you a little pain in your thighs.

"You're so good for us," Peter breathed, kissing the crook of your neck lovingly, "you're doing such a good job, taking us like that."

Miguel kept pace with your hips, neither urging you on nor slowing you down. Both their warm breaths landed on your skin, whispering sweet, soft words that softened your heart and enveloped it in adoration.

Your moans began to multiply, vibrating in your throat a little more as you finally approached orgasm.

"Come for us, muñeca" encouraged Miguel.

And you came, your whole body shaking as if a bolt of lightning had struck your core and spread seismic waves of pleasure throughout its entirety.

You let your head rest against Miguel's chest, and he kissed your forehead gently.

"I knew you could do it," he whispered.

"You're our angel," Peter confirmed as he kissed your cheek.

[scientia-rex]

Hi Dr. Kristophine, do you have any advice on what kind of information doctors need for medical issues that are more nebulous than "my knees hurt"? I've been feeling Weird and Bad in a way that has me concerned, but I'm afraid to make an appointment because I don't know what to say that will get the Weird and Bad feeling across in an actionable way. Going to the doctor takes SO much energy that I don't have to waste and I don't want them to just take a blood test and say everything's fine go home (again).

The best thing you can do with medical information you're trying to prepare for your medical provider, as a lay person, is be as specific as possible.

-Location: Is it one place in particular, or everywhere? Does it stay in one place, or move around?

-Timing: When did it start? Did it come on suddenly or slowly? Does it happen continuously? Does it come and go? Is it always there to some extent, but it gets better and worse? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being fine and 10 being the worst you can imagine, how bad is it at its best, and how bad is it at its worst? How much time does it spend really bad vs only kind of bad?

-Quality: If it's pain, is it aching, burning, stabbing, dull, electrical zap, etc.? If it's not pain, what is it? Is it discomfort? Is it weakness--i.e., you can't do that thing? Is it fatigue--like maybe you can still push through doing the thing but it feels like you're trying to wade through mud to do it? Is it a racing heart, sweating, pressure?

-Triggers: Does something in particular set it off? A time of day, a food, an action, a medication, a thought? A surprisingly common trigger for migraines is sitting still with your neck in one position. (New research suggests that necks are critical to migraine formation, to which I yelled out loud at the paper, no duh!) There may be triggers you haven't noticed; try keeping a symptom diary, where you note down when you have episodes and what you were doing beforehand, what you ate that day, menstrual phase, etc. Any detail that you can remember, whether or not it seems relevant at the time.

I cannot tell you how many times I've dug deeper into a chronic issue only to discover that the patient can, in fact, tell me what the trigger is, but because it's something important to them, they simply haven't noticed. May subconsciously even avoided noticing. Do you get migraines every time you DM? Do you need to work a stretch break into your D&D session?

There can also absolutely be multiple triggers--I know I'll get migraines if I don't sleep, if I'm sick, if I sit still for too long, if I have dental work, etc.

So bring in all the info you can. Write it down if you're afraid you'll forget. Don't hand it to the MA, too many doctors will go "oh my GOD they brought a LIST how high-maintenance" and tune out. Hang on to it but tell them about everything.

I don't expect patients to be able to tell me "I believe I've had a left radial styloid fracture" but I do expect them to tell me "I fell and tried to catch myself with my left hand and now my wrist hurts," and that's good enough. The rest of it is my job. When it's something more vague, like "I started feeling different and bad about six months ago," any other information helps. Did you start a new med around then? Are you going through menopause? Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you have first-degree relatives (parent, sibling, or child) with genetic disorders, autoimmune disorders, etc.? Do you have a history of anemia? Are you vegan? Have you started having night sweats and unexplained weight loss? Did you recently travel internationally? This can go a lot more different directions than a hurty wrist, so bring in all the info you can.

And keep in mind that modern medicine is very limited--much more so than most people think. There is an excellent chance that medicine will not be able to diagnose your condition. It may still be able to offer treatment. It may fall on your shoulders to manage it as best you can, knowing that doctors don't have answers. Nobody can tell me why I have chronic pain, and I don't mean as in "I've asked doctors and they don't know," I mean "I've personally scoured the literature and had the relevant and appropriate tests and no one can know at this phase of medical knowledge." So I deal with it, I've stopped trying to push myself past my reserves because people who can't admit to ignorance tell me to, I keep my painful body moving because that helps, I do PT, I take a multivitamin occasionally because I know my diet sucks. I manage.

There are not always right or wrong answers--I don't take gabapentin, because I don't want the sedation and kidney exposure, but patients with my exact symptoms might find it helpful and may find the risks and costs worth the benefits. My mother, who has whatever it is that I have, right down to the tricky stomach, from whom I presumably inherited it, has taken medication at different points in her life, depending on how much pain she was in and what other responsibilities she has, and that is perfectly reasonable. Autonomy matters. People have to be able to make these choices for themselves, with assistance but not paternalism from their medical professionals, because the math is different for everyone.

[akkkkollle]

always bonten and toman mikey but what about kanto mikey???

Pairing: Kanto!Mikey × M!Reader.

Words: 1000+

CW/TW: from gentle to rough, orgasm delay, praise, humiliation, degradation, slap (1 time), "Daddy" (2 times), overexcitation, punishment.

An intermittent moan reverberates through the room, followed by a sob a few seconds later, followed by a slap of thighs against thighs. The moan of your name escapes from the lips of the blonde as he grabs your shoulders harder, lifting his hips up and then down again.

Your gaze slides over his naked body. The only thing that covers his small body is the Kanto jacket draped over his shoulders, as always. Beads of sweat trickle down his body from the foreplay that ended a minute ago. His little cock jumps to the beat of his thrusts, bouncing until precum flows out of the tip. His hair is loose, showing his cute naughty strands. His black eyes are full of lust and bliss from the pleasure he is experiencing now. Tears accumulate in the corners from a slight pain from stretching. His mouth trembles as he moans and whines from his inept movements.

He's not used to riding you, usually you just fuck him, but today...

-D-do you like it? - he whispers, stuttering when he feels you touching his prostate.

-Of course, Manji, you're doing so well. - you stroke his head, pulling his hair back for a few seconds.

He smiles slightly at your praise, and then whines when you kiss his neck, occasionally sucking it, leaving light hickeys. He pushes his head back, giving you more access to his milky skin.

He squeezes around you, making you growl from his tightness. His fingers tighten, scratching your shoulders. And his lips immediately fall on yours, casually kissing them. The kiss is full of lust, only the tongue, the clash of teeth and the rare bites of each other's tongues.

- Ah, I'm now... C-cumming, let me, please. - his head falls on your shoulder, his warm breath blows over your skin.

- Of course, sweetheart. Come whenever you want. - he nods quickly, biting his lips, continuing his careless jumps on your cock.

-T-thank you, Daddy... Damn! - he groans as his orgasm hits him.

He continues several thrusts, but then stops, trying to catch his breath. You stroke his head with one hand, hugging him to you. You struggle with a strong desire to throw him on this leather sofa and fuck him like the last time. You just wait until he regains his breath and you, too, will feel a great sense of orgasm.

- M-m/n, I... - he sighs, and your chest feels his exhalation. - Continue yourself, my thighs are already, phew, everything...

You look down at his thighs and realize that he is telling the truth. He's sitting on your lap, but his thighs are shaking as droplets of his sperm flow down them. You just laugh, putting it on the couch, pulling out your dick for a few seconds.

He gasps, not yet recovering from the orgasm, when you insert your cock again and start your thrusts. Again, this hot, pleasant feeling grows in the lower part of his stomach, again making him feel aroused. His hips hug your waist as your thrusts become much deeper and more precise.

-You're so weak, Mikey. You can't bring me to orgasm because of fatigue. Are you sure you're invincible or does the feeling of my cock inside you make you such a weak boy? - you ask, biting his neck, causing his back to be covered with goosebumps.

He didn't see the sky during the loss, right? But with you, he's ready to see everything. Though sky, though heaven, though hell, though his death. The feeling of how you fuck him constantly makes him become a helpless being, subject only to you alone.

- Don't you think you should be punished for this? - he opens his previously closed eyes wide.

He looks into your eyes and whimpers, realizing that you are not joking. He doesn't like punishment, he just likes sex with you. He's such a good boy, right? But the best proof of power is strength. And it does not matter whether it is physical or moral.

- No, I'm me.. Ah! - he moans when you slap his thigh, increasing the speed of thrusts. - S-sorry, yes. I'm such a bad boy.

- I'm glad you understand that. You know, it's only fair if I don't let you cum either, right? - he just nods, but mumbles with displeasure when your hand squeezes his penis, especially pressing on the base.

He whimpers, feeling an approaching orgasm, which, unfortunately, he will not get. But at the same time, he feels your dick twitching in it. That means you're coming soon, too. Maybe you'll take pity on him?

- Is Daddy coming now? - he asks, whimpering.

- Yes, so you, slut, better squeeze harder and accept it all. - he shouts "Yes!", which makes you smile, speeding up your thrusts as much as possible.

And you finally cum inside him, relaxing your hand on his cock, letting him cum. He screams, feeling you cum into him and his own orgasm. But when you pull out your dick, he shrinks like a good boy.

[goldenempyrean]

hii, for the drabbles, could you do sick kate x reader where they’re both on a mission, and kate is trying to pretend that she’s fine. using “I’m just a little under the weather that’s all.” and “You shouldn’t be walking around when you’re this sick.” 

Frozen Determination

〚 Notes - God I haven't posted in ages, I still have my other drabbles to post too so dw! :D 〛

〚 Pairing - Kate Bishop x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - When Kate seems to be pushing herself too hard so you take matters into your own hands. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 595 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

“Bless you.” You murmured softly as Kate turned away to sneeze into her scarf yet again.  

The two of you were on a pretty chilly mission out in the wintery woods of Finland and you’d had your suspicions all day of Kate not feeling her best. It was the small things that gave it away. Small coughs every so often, a few sneezes here and there but it was the constant sniffling that she couldn’t seem to quite shake that really solidified your suspicions. 

As the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the snowy landscape, you found yourselves in a dense forest. The dense trees shielded you from the wind, but the air was still frigid, causing each breath to feel like shards of ice in your lungs. You glanced over at Kate, her face flushed and her nose red from the constant sneezing and sniffling. 

"Are you sure you're up for this, hon?" you asked, concern lacing your voice. "We can always come back another day." 

Kate shook her head, determination gleaming in her eyes despite the fatigue. "No, we can't afford to wait. The longer we delay, the greater the risk of the thief escaping with those artifacts. I’m just a little under the weather that’s all, let's just keep going." 

You frowned, worried about Kate's stubbornness. You knew how important this mission was, but you also knew that pushing herself too hard could make things worse. Nevertheless, you respected her determination and decided to keep a close eye on her throughout the mission. 

As you continued through the forest, Kate's condition seemed to worsen. She started shivering, her teeth chattering, and her steps becoming unsteady. It was evident that her sickness was taking a toll on her, and you couldn't stand idly by any longer. 

"Katie, listen," you said firmly, placing a gentle hand on her arm to stop her. "You shouldn't be walking around when you're this sick. We need to find shelter and get you warmed up. The artifacts can wait." 

Kate's brows furrowed, her body swaying slightly from exhaustion. She opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by a fit of coughing that racked her frail frame. You winced at the sound, and your worry intensified. 

"I can't risk slowing us down," Kate croaked out, her voice hoarse. "We've come too far." 

You sighed, understanding her determination but refusing to let her put herself in further danger. "Kate, we're a team. We look out for each other. Let me take care of you. We'll find a safe place to rest and recover. I promise we'll come back for the artifacts." 

Reluctantly, Kate nodded, her strength fading as her body grew weaker. You guided her through the forest, searching for a suitable shelter. Finally, you stumbled upon a small abandoned cabin hidden among the trees. It was rundown and dilapidated, but it offered some protection from the elements. 

Inside, you quickly lit a fire in the fireplace and wrapped Kate in a blanket, tucking her in tightly. You fetched a thermos of warm tea from your bag and handed it to her. She sipped it gratefully, the warmth soothing her sore throat. You sat beside her, keeping a watchful eye on her as the fire crackled and the cabin filled with a comforting heat. 

As the night wore on, Kate's fever broke, and her breathing eased. The warmth of the cabin worked its magic, providing her body with the rest it desperately needed. You stayed awake, vigilant, ensuring she was comfortable and safe throughout the night. 

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

One Night🌙14

Masterlist

Warnings: noncon sexual acts and rape, pregnancy, depression, manipulation.

This is dark!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you. 18+.

Summary: One night changes your entire life.

Note: Sorry it’s take so long.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!​

I ask humbly and graciously for your likes and feedback. Please leave a reblog as well as it helps lots :D

Your fingers wove through Andy's hair as you puffed, a weak gasp as your legs tensed to your toes. You dropped your head back to you pillow as the shock of your unexpected awakening was lost to the peak of delight.

Coiling waves flowed through you and broke through the shell of fatigue around you. Your nails grazed Andy’s scalp as you tilted your hips into him, forgetting all thought of resistance. He urged you on with his tongue, lapping and sucking loudly as your veins burned hot.

He let out a hum that reverberated through you, rolling out the last of your reluctance. The ecstasy erupted all at once and you tugged his hair needful, pushing his face into you as you rock through your climax.

Your hand fell away from his head and the realisation crashed into you like icy water. You groaned as he sat up but refused to look at him. You struggled to sit up, refusing his hand as you turned and pulled down your night shirt, rushing into the bathroom without a word.

The tears busted from you without pause as the lock clicked. You turned and tried to stymy the onslaught as the pleasure slaked away to horror. What was that? What was wrong with you?

After days, weeks of indifference, you just let him do that. Let him have what he wanted. Like everything else and worse, you enjoyed it.

"Honey," his knuckles tapped on the other side of the wood as the door shifted with his weight.

"Why did you do that?" You sniffed back the last of your tears and cranked on the faucet, "why would you--"

You splashed your face with cold water, dripping some down your shirt. You dry off with a fluffy hand towel as you turned to lean on the counter.

"Look, it wasn't … I was…" his voice fractured and you were surprised by his genuine grasping for words, "I was trying to make you feel better. Trying to be nice--"

You dropped the towel on the counter and stomped to the door. You tore it open and faced him as he recoiled.

"Make me feel better?" You frowned.

"Yeah, you've been down lately and I… wanted to cheer you up," he shrugged, "so…"

"So you shoved your face between my legs?"

"You didn't exactly tell me to stop," he said.

"While I was sleeping," you challenged.

"Not for all of it," he shook his head, "the doctor said it helps."

"Andy, why do you think I feel like trash?" You elbowed past him and went back to the bed. You grunted as you sat and gripped your side, "what am I supposed to do? I got nothing."

"Take care of yourself for a start," he neared the other side, "how about I give you a back rub?"

"Back rub?" You lifted your legs onto the bed and leaned back on your arms.

"No funny business," he raised his hands, "Alright? Just… let me touch you, please."

You blew out between your lips. You were sore, tired, as much as you denied it, you needed the release. Yet the thought of him touching you battled with the temptation of relief.

"Promise," you relented.

"Ill keep my hands above board," he said, "promise."

"Why?" You asked 

He sighed and dropped his hands. He looked down and clicked his tongue, "I… just want to feel close to someone, okay? It's been tense around here and work is shit, I just… need it."

"Fine, just my back," you turned and laid on your side with a groan, "the hips."

"Alright," he agreed.

You listened to him behind you as you tried to settle, bracing for the first touch. It felt weirdly intimate and almost wrong. The bed shifted with his weight and you took a breath.

He positioned himself behind you and pressed the side of his hand to the middle of your back. He slid it down slowly and firmly, a low purr rising as you let your head hang forward.

His thumbs found the tightest and most tender spots, eliciting growls as you clamped the blankets in your hands. You felt the tension slowly release from your muscles, thoughtlessly leaning back into him. He took the encouragement, drifting lower and lower.

He tugged at the hem of your night shirt and eased it up, skin on skin as he retraced the path up your back. His rough hands sent goosebumps across your flesh and a shiver along your scalp. You couldn't stop him if you tried, it felt nice. 

He bunched the shirt higher and swooped it over your head. You let it hang over your chest, still around your arms as he kneaded your knotted muscles.

"That feel good?" He asked in a low tone, his hot breath touching the nape of your neck.

"Mhmm," you groaned and hugged your stomach as you slumped into his tending.

"See, not that bad, is it?" He purred as he framed your hips, pushing his thumbs along your lower back. 

You squeaked as he tickled the top of your ass and you lurched forward away from him. He caught you and pulled you back against him. He brought you snug to his front and you felt the prodding behind you, his urgent need. He wrapped his arms around you and pushed yours away from your stomach. He raised your shirt and drew circles across your bump.

"I told you, just touching," he cooed in your ear, a brush of air along the shell.

You let him, no energy to resist as the adrenaline of your climax faded into the ease of his touch. He caressed your stomach with his thick fingers, pressing his warm palms to your skin. He held you to him, legs splayed around you as he reclined against the headboard. He sighed as he swirled listlessly over your tummy.

"I think about the night we met. A lot. Why can't we be like that all the time?" He nuzzled the back of your head.

"Andy, we were strangers--"

"And? I'm not a bad guy, honey. I just want what's best for the baby."

You stiffened and placed your hands on his wrists, "but not for me."

"I didn't say that--"

"Andy," you huffed, "this baby is killing me. I'm miserable."

He sighed and you felt his irritation. He kept his hands spread over your stomach. You froze and held your breath, waiting for his anger. His hands fell away and rested on your thighs. You felt his indecision, as if he wanted to do more.

"I should go get dinner ready," he said at last and shifted, "let me out."

You slid forward and he angled out from behind you. You pulled your shirt back on as you watched him stand. He kept his back to you as he adjusted his belt and stretched his neck.

"You feel like pasta?" He asked without a glance back.

"Sure," you answer dully as he marched to the door.

You frowned as you reached for the blanket and covered yourself up, the radiating warmth of his touch seeping away. His hot and cold moods were driving you mad, along with your own. As if you didn't have enough to deal with. You didn't know if you could handle almost four more months of it.

🌙

Weeks passed in your bedbound state, Christmas nearing as you hardly felt festive enough to notice. Andy continued his pendulum, swinging back and forth between concerned and cold. He seemed to resent you at times and others, came close to doting on you.

You grew bigger and more helpless. The feeling of futility drowned you and left you unmotivated and exhausted. The thought that you weren't important to anyone, only that you carried a new person.

You sat on the toilet, reluctant to lift yourself up for the aching in your hipbones. The shower buzzed as it ran, steam rising over the top of the curtain. The heat beckoned to you and urged you up as you gathered your strength. 

The aroma of turkey and fixings wafted up from the lower floor and the noise of activity clanged and clinked in the kitchen. Andy had Doris helping him with the preparations for your shower, the anxiety of the promised guests adding to your reluctance to ready.

You stepped behind the curtain and let the hot water cascade over you. You breathed into the steam and basked in the relief dripping down your sore body. You spent too long still and stunned by the sensation before finally washing yourself.

As you cranked the faucet off, the curtain was yanked back as the rings whined against the rod. You blinked at Andy as he offered you the fluffy blue towel. You took it and covered your body swiftly.

"Your parents are here," he stated, "when do you think you'll be ready?"

His impatience underlined the question and guilt flooded your throat. All these weeks spent doing nothing and you can't even get dressed in time. He didn't need to say it. He had that look in his eyes. 

"I'll be down soon," you lifted your foot and he grabbed your arm as if you would fall. You let him as you braced the wall and dragged your other foot off the porcelain, "sorry, I..." you patted your stomach through the towel, "I am going as fast as I can."

"I laid your dress out," he parted and crossed his arms as he stood back, "the red one."

"Oh, thanks," you squeezed past him and entered the bedroom. You sat on the edge of the bed and patted dry while you struggled to hide your more intimate bits from him, "how's dinner coming--"

"Everyone's coming for you and you're up here wasting time," he interrupted.

"Andy, I'm working on it," you pushed yourself up to your feet with a groan. You went to the dresser and pulled out underwear, "I didn't mean to take so long in the shower."

"Here," he came closer and took the towel, tossing it over the bed. 

Before you could react, he snatched the underwear and opened them, squatting to hold them out for you to step into. You held back your annoyance and put your feet through the holes. He pulled them up and stretched the elastic over your stomach. You crossed your arm over your chest and turned to retrieve your bra from where you left it on the pillow. 

You pulled it on and hooked the back as he scooped up the dress.

"I can handle it," you faced him as he untangled the sleeves.

"Can you?"

"What's the problem?" You sniff, "I'm trying my best."

"You knew about this all day and you didn't start moving until now--"

"Andy, you're not my father," you took the dress from him and swooped it over your head.

"Maybe if your father actually tried, you wouldn't be such a fucking mess," he snarled.

"Christ, what is your problem?"

He shook his head he clenched his jaw, "I've been working my ass off, I did all this prep and I don't get a thank you. Or maybe just any acknowledgement."

"Andy, I appreciate it, okay? I'm just having a hard time--"

"A hard time with what? Laying in bed while a maid cleans up around you? Or maybe keeping your legs locked together like a goddamn virgin!"

"Jesus, wow," you recoiled as you tugged the skirt straight, "alright, well, that's not happening, especially right now--"

"I expect at least something in return for all that I've done. You fucked me in that bar, you can't just lay there every once in a while and let me--"

"Like a fucking doll? Andy, you wanted a baby. You're getting the baby. Alright, but it doesn't mean I have to wet your dick--"

"I killed my wife for you!" He barely kept from yelling.

Startled, you took a step back, your legs grazing the bed. Your mouth fell open as you gaped at him. He didn't say that. It wasn't true. Laurie was dying and he only did what he had to.

"No, you didn't--"

"Yes," he growled, "I have given everything up for you. My son, my wife, my old life. It never happened. It's gone. I want this. I want us and our daughter."

"You can't say that. It's not my fault," you gulped and felt behind you blindly, sitting as your head spun. The speckling of heat spread across your neck and back. "Please, don't--"

"Do you think I put you up for fun? My daughter is going to have a mommy and daddy. You're not just walking away from us. For once in your life, do something right."

"Stop acting like you know me," you snapped, "just stop. I told you I didn't want this. I told you over and over."

"You couldn't do better than this. Not better than me or my daughter. You should be on your knees thanking me for everything I've given you. You should be counting your blessings that you're gonna have a house and a husband when all you had before was nothing," he glared down at you meanly, "well, maybe your cunt."

A wave of nausea burned in your stomach and you pressed your hand to your bump. You shook your head as your insides knotted and squirmed, your vision hazing at the edge. You tried to shrug it off as you stood, your head pounding with the effort. You fell back onto the bed onto your elbow.

"Fuck you," you puffed out as your chest tightened, "fuck y--"

You gasped and cried out as your stomach contracted and agony twined around every muscle in your body. You slid flat across the mattress and held your belly as a swell of pain erupted through you. You clenched your teeth as you let out a howl.

"Ow, god! God!" You shut your eyes as if you could block out the pain, "it hurts! Goddamnit! Andy! Something's wrong."

"Fuck!" He swore and you felt a tug on your arm, "fucking shit."

"Get off--" You swung at him.

"I'm trying to help you," he snarled as he made you sit up, "what's going on--"

"You're a fucking asshole, that's what!"

"Shut up! Okay, the baby. What's going on with the baby--"

"I don't know," you sobbed as tears sprang out, "you fucking asshole. You fucking asshole..." The chant rose without thought as he tried to make you stand, "I fucking hate you!"

A heavy breath gristled out of his throat as he lifted you, your legs too wobbly to support yourself. The room tilted as he raised you off the floor and he carried you around the foot of the bed. You felt his heart racing through his chest, then your own, the frantic pulsing throbbing in your eyes as stars scattered all around.

You closed your eyes as another violent thrum coiled your muscles and stabbed up your spine. You whimpered and spasmed in his arms. With the pangs came another more fervent and uncontrollable sensation; fear. Something was happening and you were terrified.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Russingon - March

Written for my dear reader MoonLord :D

I am not entirely sure about this one...but here it is <3

Prompts: “are you okay" - Rough - Overprotective

Pairing: Maedhros x Fingon

Words: 1035

Warnings: Fighting, blood, doom, sadness, fear, naïve rewriting of the Nirnaeth, I am not feeling well, don't shoot me!

Even though he was standing in an ephemeral pool of gleaming light, Maedhros felt a terrible shadow fall across his soul. He shivered violently.

At once, he recognised this sickening sensation only—the paralysing, clammy cold irrepressibly took him back to flashes of burning ships on dark waters and rough, cruel hands dragging him away from his screaming brothers on a field of fire.

He knew this sickening sense of foreboding only too well. They were about to be betrayed.

“Finno,” he gasped instinctively, his shapely head whipping around in search of his beloved.

Of course, per their agreed-upon battleplan, his lover was on the opposite side of the vast expanse of raw ruin, and he would have to cross literal hell to get to him in time.

The crownless, dishonoured prince had dreamed this so many times—losing Fingon because he was just not fast or skilful enough—and he was grimly determined not to let the nightmares haunting him eat up what little was left of his life.

Thus, he pushed through the throng of combatants blindly; every step was akin to wading through an ocean of sticky blood and stray limbs, and the mad screaming was deafening, but he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted or held up by the rivers of misery trying to ensnare his body and mind.

In passing, he caught a glimpse of Caranthir’s face—deadly pale under the splatter of black blood—and he swore to himself that he’d find and console his brother in due time.

“You are not the first to have trusted foolishly and to find yourself wickedly backstabbed,” he wanted to scream at that motionless mien that gave away how deep his sibling’s mental hurt truly was. “Rally, Moryo! There shall be time for remonstrances and remorse when the day is won. Now, stand and fight!”

All this and more, he yearned to say.  He longed to hear his voice rising above the terrible storm of chaos and destruction, but his lungs were burning, and his tongue wouldn’t move.

Once more, he had no choice but to forge ahead alone—mute and miserable.

After his capture and long, torturous abiding in the enemy’s fortress of pain, Maedhros had solemnly promised never to desert his family again, but could that reproach really be laid at his feet now?

Fingon was more than his cousin, more than one to whom he owed a life debt—he was the only sliver of purity and faith left intact within Maedhros’s crumbling heart, and losing him, he who had been brave and loyal from the very beginning to the bitter end, would have been too much of an injustice to bear.

“You cannot mean this,” Maedhros whispered, unsure whether it was Manwë or Námo with whom he was pleading within his mind. “We remember our Doom, worry not, but he cannot be part of the sacrifices and losses I am bound to bear.”

In the distance, a flash of gold danced like fireflies above a murky pool, and—clenching his jaw as fatigue and injury tried to tear him down—the Lord of Himring threw himself into a solid wall of armoured bodies like a crazed beast fighting for its survival.

“If you take him,” he mouthed as he hacked through limbs and fetid air with frenzied violence, “then you prove my father’s darkest accusations right. If this is the end of Findekáno, you are no better than Morgoth and his monstrosities.”

Every step was agony, but he pushed on, reciting the poems and empty phrases of puerile devotion that sprang from his muddled memory incessantly.

Once upon a time, he had believed the Valar to be invincible, and—one last time—Maedhros needed that blind faith to make it to the one he loved.

Praying fervently to Aulë and Ulmo to strengthen the hearts and arms of their favoured creations, he—who had been disappointed and abandoned more often than he could count—trusted that his allies would prevail.

As if the Powers that had turned away from his line had heard and heeded his desperate pleading, the host of savage fighters seemed to part like a roiling sea before Maedhros’s bleary eyes, and he could, at long last, make out Fingon’s glorious, unbowed silhouette, outlined starkly against the irreverently blue sky.

Soon, he knew, Morgoth would be forced to release his ultimate weapon: mindless, unbridled chaos.

Thus, it was vital to retreat and regroup before their carefully laid-out plans were turned against them.

Loyalty, he thought despairingly even as he reached his lover, should certainly vanquish base betrayal.

Throwing himself bodily between Fingon and the swelling tide of flame-wreathed foes, Maedhros pushed his half-cousin out of the way roughly.

“Love, are you okay?” the other exclaimed, surprised and alarmed by the unexpected arrival. If Maedhros was here, he immediately understood, it meant that all their strategies had gone awry.

“The Valiant” he was named, and he proved once more that he deserved that epitaph as he took a quick sidestep that allowed him to cleave a hitherto unnoticed enemy about to strike down Maedhros.

“We must away,” the exhausted redhead grunted. “Stay behind me!”

Despite the lethal danger caressing his skin with cold fingers, Fingon laughed throatily at that heart-warming but utterly ridiculous exhortation.

“You’ve ever been overprotective,” he guffawed good-humouredly. “As one I still cherish told your father once—lead and I shall follow! I have your back, my darling. And we have brothers to save!”

Whispering words of gratitude and relief under his breath, Maedhros chose life—Fingon’s and his own—over the horrible, seductive allure of the sweet, mendacious promise of a victory he knew to be incontrovertibly out of reach.

How easy it would have been to give in to the despair gnawing at his soul unrelentingly and follow the perfidious siren call into death!

Consciously renouncing the fateful flaw of his blood that ever pushed them to retaliate against treachery by unleashing the full extent of the reckless, self-forgotten fury of which they were undeniably capable, Maedhros—becoming the king he’d never wanted to be, garlanded by golden light and cold air—wisely declared the day lost and his union doomed.

-> Masterlist

Lots of love from me!

@fellowshipofthefics Here's another one!

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Loop Back

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

More of the guys in IRIS, yay! :D Yay for us, I mean, obviously not them haha. Last time we mainly saw what IRIS had planned for JJ and Schneep, but what about the others? After all, they don't have any special powers, right? Why are they here? While those two recover from their own tests, Marvin takes an assessment. Then, when some guards appear to drag him off somewhere, he makes an escape attempt and finds something strange. Heheheh. Enjoy!

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Read on AO3 under CrystalNinjaPhoenix

Marvin spent most of the afternoon—or, what he assumed was the afternoon—trying to think of different ways to contact Jackie and Anti. After hearing those shouts outside his door, they must be nearby. He wasn’t sure where JJ or Schneep were, though. He was sure IRIS would have taken them too, but he didn’t know anything about this place outside the room he was stuck in. They could be on the other side of this compound, through thick metal walls or high up in the air. He needed to focus on Jackie and Anti first, and then the three of them could figure something else out.

But as time passed, he found he couldn’t focus on planning. His stomach was rumbling too loud, and his thoughts devolved into repeated cycles of how hungry he was.

After what must have been a few hours, that woman from before walked in. The one in the white coat, with the curly blonde hair. She must be some sort of doctor, right? “Hello again, Mr. Moore,” she said, sitting down at the table.

Marvin, previously lying on the bed, sat up straight. “You again,” he muttered, glaring. “What do you want?”

“We are doing an assessment,” the doctor said calmly. “And I’ve also brought something for you.” She sets down a small box on the table. A fabric box... a lunch box? “Please come over to the table. So you can be in view of the interview camera.”

“...you’re lurin’ me with food?” Marvin asked, eyes narrowing.

The doctor just smiled. “Please come into view of the camera.”

Marvin sighed. He stood up, testing his legs. Luckily, after resting for so long, the fatigue had faded and he was easily able to walk over to the table and chair. “Don’ expect it t’be t’is easy all the time,” he said. “My body comes and goes. I’ll only be able to walk wit’out aid sometimes. Not all the time.”

“The date is March 1st, 2020, and we are interviewing Mr. Marvin Moore,” the doctor said, not acknowledging what Marvin just said. He threw his hands up in frustration. “Use of the Dr. Hopkins Assessment has been permitted. Mr. Moore, please eat before we proceed.”

Marvin sighed. He was annoyed, but he was also hungry. His stomach was twisting just at the thought of eating. So he grabbed the lunch box and opened it up. Inside was a sandwich made of ham and brown bread, a peeled orange, some crackers, and a small water bottle. He ate quickly, not looking directly at the doctor while she sat across from him... watching him. As soon as he was done he slid the lunch box over to her. Going through some sort of test would be preferable to this silence.

“Thank you!” the doctor said in a chipper tone, pushing the lunch box to the side. She then took out a clipboard and began writing things down. “Now we will start the Assessment. We’re going to ask you a series of questions to determine your state of mind. Keep in mind we can detect if you’re lying, so please try to answer truthfully. Are you okay with this, Mr. Moore?”

“Well I s’pose I have to be, don’ I?” Marvin muttered. “You’re not goin’ to listen t’me. Or give me my fuckin’ cards back.”

“Great!” The doctor smiled.  “Now. Is your name Marvin Moore?”

“Yes.”

“Are you 29 years old?”

“How d’you know about t’at?!” Marvin gasped.

“We have done some research since we last spoke,” the doctor explained. “So please answer the question.”

“Y-yes... t’at’s my age,” Marvin said shakily. Maybe he shouldn’t answer these questions... but clearly these guys won’t listen to him. They would probably just continuously ask the questions until he caved.

“Are you taking the Dr. Hopkins Assessment right now?” the doctor asked.

“If t’at’s what t’is is.”

“On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest, how would you describe your current mental state?”

“Ah... low?” Marvin guessed.

“If you had to put a number to it?” she persisted.

“I don’ know. A... a t’ree? A three,” he repeated, making an effort to emphasize the TH sound, just so there wasn’t any confusion.

“Have you ever felt an attack of fear or anxiety?”

“A-ah, um—” Marvin really didn’t want to tell these IRIS guys about his mental problems.

The doctor stared at him more intensely. “Have you ever felt an attack of fear or anxiety?”

“C-can I choose not to answer?”

“Have you ever felt an attack of fear or anxiety?”

“I... w-well, hasn’ ev’ryone?” Marvin said.

The doctor nodded slowly and wrote something down. Was she agreeing with him? Or just acknowledging what he said? “Do you feel safe?”

“After bein’ kidnapped and torn away from my friends? Not t’mention bein’ kidnapped by people wh-who I know do terrible t’ings to others?” Marvin leaned close. “I don’ know what you want wit’ me and I don’ know what you’ve done wit’ my friends. I know you want to hurt us, though.”

“We do not want to hurt you, Mr. Moore,” the doctor insisted.

“No, but you’ll do stuff to hurt us anyway.” Marvin glared. “D’you really t’ink you deserve a ‘yes’ answer to that question?”

The doctor blinked. Then she looked down at the clipboard and continued. “Do you regret your decisions?”

“Uh...” Marvin leaned back again, confused. “I don’ understan’ the question. T’ere are a lot of decisions out t’ere. T’at I’ve made. I would regret some and not regret others, righ’?”

“Hmm.” The doctor wrote something down. “Do you know where you are?” 

“In IRIS?” Marvin guessed.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

“F-for... experiments?” Marvin whispered, scanning the doctor’s expression for a reaction. Maybe he could learn something? But, unfortunately, he was never that good with emotions. If the doctor felt any way about his guess, she didn't show it.

“Have you ever heard of ALTR 53815?” the doctor asked.

“No, I haven’,” Marvin insisted.

“What was the first time you came in contact with ALTR 53815?”

“Don’ fuckin’ ignore me!” Marvin shouted, his temper suddenly bursting. “I can’ tell you any’ting if you don’ tell me stuff first! What the fuck is an alter?! Is t’at what you call the people you do tests on?! Huh?!”

“How many pictures have been shown to you so far?” The doctor asked calmly.

“I jus’ said—” Marvin growled. But then he gave up, the anger suddenly draining out of him. They weren’t going to tell him anything. He had to stop trying. Any energy he put into resisting these guys would be diverted away from his efforts to escape. And it might be good for them to think he was cooperating. “I haven’ seen anyt’ing,” he sighed.

“How many sounds have been played for you?” the doctor asked.

“Haven’ heard anyt’ing, either.”

“Are you easily startled?”

“Ah... well... it depends?” Marvin said slowly, suddenly on guard. His eyes darted around the room. Were they going to throw something at his face?

“What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt?”

Marvin couldn’t help but laugh. “You t’ink I’m jus’ gonna tell you t’at?” He shivered. “I-I don’ even know it off the top of my head.” Probably something Distorter did to him... something that he might not even remember.

That seemed to be a sufficient answer for the doctor. “Do you believe in God?” she asked.

Marvin raised an eyebrow. “Feel like t’at’s a bit of a departure from the rest of t’ese questions.”

“Please just answer it promptly,” the doctor said.

“Ah... I... guess?” Marvin said slowly. “But not... as in t’ere’s someone up t’ere who t’inks like a human... It might be closer to a force of nature. It’d probably be... very diff’rent. But t’ere has to be somet’ing.” He was speaking more to himself than to the doctor, sorting out his own feelings on the way. Yes, there had to be something, didn’t there? There had to be something... maybe...

“Do you believe in life after death?” the doctor asked, not noticing his introspection.

Marvin jumped slightly, snapping back to reality. “Um... sure?”

“Have you ever experienced a terrible occurrence that has impacted you significantly?”

“If you truly did research on me, wouldn’ you know?” Marvin asked.

“We may know facts, but we don’t know how you feel about all this,” the doctor explained. “I’ll ask again. Have you ever experienced a terrible occurrence that has impacted you significantly?”

Marvin nodded slowly.

“Please answer audibly for the record.”

“Y-yes,” Marvin whispered.

The doctor wrote something down, taking a long time. “Have you ever lost someone close to you?��

Marvin flinched. He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to answer at all. But he knew she would keep asking. She—IRIS—wouldn’t let him have the smallest bit of privacy while he was in here. “...yes,” he whispered.

More writing. Then the doctor looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Moore, that concludes our assessment.”

“Great... now what?” Marvin asked. “No wait, let me guess. You’re not goin’ t’tell me.”

“We will see you again, Mr. Moore,” the doctor said, tucking the clipboard under her arm and grabbing the lunch box.

“Oh I wasn’ worried abou’ t’at,” Marvin grumbled, slumping in the chair.

“Get some rest!” the doctor said cheerfully, and walked over towards the door.

Marvin started to get up from the chair, wanting to run for the door as she started to open it. But he hesitated for too long. The door was already closing. “Damn it,” he muttered. Sighing, he continued to stand up, and walked over to the bed, sitting down again.

... what if that was the only opportunity he had? What if they weren’t going to open the door again? What if he was going to be stuck in here?

No, no, that was going too far. They had to open the door to feed him. There wasn’t any other way into the room. He could wait until then. He had to.

Sighing, Marvin lied down and tried to think of a plan.

———————

Every muscle in Schneep’s body ached. After the tests—hours and hours of fighting robots with different abilities—he was too tired to even think about resisting as they dragged him back to the cell. He fell asleep for a brief moment, but he could tell that it wasn’t that long. Maybe only a few minutes. All he really knew was that they dropped him on the floor and the next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes, the guards were gone, and the manacle was around his ankle again.

He was able to drag himself onto the bed, but wasn’t able to move much after that. He laid there for a while, then lifted his head and glared at the camera. “I hope you are not going to wear me out all the time,” he said. “I cannot be a good...” His throat closed up. He couldn’t say the word that was on his mind. Weapon. “I-I cannot be good at tests if I am pushed to exhaustion.”

There was no answer, of course.

Schneep put his head down again, groaning. With all the advanced technology they’d stuck into his body, you would think IRIS would be able to keep him from feeling exhaustion. Though, to be honest, it felt like he’d been able to keep fighting for longer than usual... so maybe the technology could delay it, but not get rid of it. That made sense.

He could only hope that it also reduced his recovery time. He didn’t want to lay in bed whenever he wasn’t being forced to go through one of IRIS’s tests. Not when he could be using that time to try and escape.

There had to be a way out of here... sure, they’d learned from his last escape and added the manacle to tie him down, but there had to be a way. He refused to just give up and let them use him.

But for now... he had to rest.

———————

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

JJ pressed up against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. His eyes kept flicking to the cameras in the corners. They were always watching him. There was never going to be anywhere to hide, never, never, never—

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Everything was fine right now. They weren’t going to do anything to him.

But they were still watching.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

He rubbed his eyes, brushing away the tears in the corners. The moment his vision was clear again, his eyes glanced at the cameras again. He shuddered. Twisting around, he reached over to the bed and grabbed the pillow, throwing it at the nearest camera. It hit the wall nearby and fell to the ground. With that having failed, he grabbed the blanket of the bed and pulled it off.

The bedframe was fairly low; there wasn’t room enough for a person to squeeze underneath. But by draping the blanket off the side, he made a small tent to hide behind. JJ curled up beneath it. He felt ridiculous, like a child hiding from a monster in the closet. But it was the only way to block out the camera.

Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

Everything is okay right now.

It won’t be okay in the future. But it’s okay right now.

Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

———————

The moment the door to the cell opened, Anti lunged at the gap, pushing his way out. He made it out into the hallway but was immediately grabbed from behind by one of these guards in black uniforms. “Fucking let me go!” he growled. He tried kicking at their legs, tried wriggling against their grasp, but the two guards held tight to each of his arms. There were two more as well, pointing some sort of gun towards him. Not the type that fired bullets—dart guns, maybe?

They started dragging him down the hallway. “Fuck you! Fuck off!” Anti shouted, voice trembling slightly. His eyes darted around wildly, taking in the plaster walls and linoleum tiles, looking for anything that could help. But there was nothing.

What was happening? The other times he’d been taken out of the room, that scientist-looking guy had been there to supervise him. This time, it was just the guards. Why? Did the scientist not want to risk getting hurt in some freaky fucking experiment? Were they going to fuck with his body as well as his head this time?! The thought sent panic shooting through his heart, and he didn’t stop struggling even as the guards took him down the hallways. Keep track of the turns! Right, left, right—the walls shifted to a pale blue, bordering on white, instead of the beige they were right outside the cells.

The guards reached a set of double-doors on the left side of the hallway. One of them took a keycard off their belt and pressed it to a reader at the side of the door. There was a slight click and the doors slid open. As the guards started pulling Anti inside, he tried to hook his foot around the doorframe, but they yanked him hard and easily broke his grip.

The room beyond was a nearly empty space, with the same linoleum tiles and plaster walls that are now painted pure white. The high ceiling was made of tiles, too, but not linoleum. Instead, the office vibes continued, with the ceiling looking like ones that would be found in office buildings, or maybe schools. There was a simple card table set up in the middle—the type that folds—with some sort of sheet-covered shape on it. Some more sturdy-looking tables were set up around it in a U shape, full of strange metal boxes with lights, buttons, and dials, some with attached antenna, all with wires leading from them over to the edge of the room. Anti glanced around at all this, taking it in, but his focus was turned to the last thing in the room. A chair with leather straps attached, looking like it was pulled out of a horror game taking place in some creepy hospital

 “You are not putting me in that fucking thing!” Anti shouted, voice cracking slightly. He intensified his struggles—

Smak! One of the guards hit him in the side of the head. He slumped, instantly dazed. The guards didn’t waste any time, dragging him across the ground to the chair and shoving him in. He squirmed weakly, but was still dazed. The guards easily pulled the straps over his wrists, ankles, and chest. One even went over his forehead, pulling his head into place against a headrest. Then the guards backed up, continuing to point their dart guns at him, just in case.

“Wh-what is this?” Anti demanded. “The fuck are you going to do?!” He twisted his hands back and forth, trying to worm his way beneath the leather straps, but they were extremely tight.

The guards didn’t say anything. Nothing was moving in the room beside him. He couldn’t help but think that they were all... waiting for something.

He swallowed a lump in his throat. If he could escape from this room, he could find the others and they could get out of here. He couldn’t let this opportunity get away from him! He took a deep breath, then kept struggling.

———————

Marvin looked up as the door opened again. Huh, it hadn’t been that long since the doctor came in to do the assessment thing. But that was fine, he could try to implement his plan.

Two people in all-black gear walked into the room, their features partially hidden with cloth masks that covered the lower half of their faces. They stared at him expectantly. But he didn’t get up from the bed. The two guards glanced at each other. “Stand up,” one said.

“I can’ do t’at,” Marvin said. “Not t’at I don’ want to, I can’t.” He made sure to emphasize it.

“Try,” the second guard said.

Marvin glared at them, but did as asked, and tried to stand up. He pushed himself up, then fell down again. “T’is shoul’ be in your files abou’ me,” he said. “T’at doctor lady said it the first time she was here. ‘Muscle weakness.’ Don’ be surprised when I’m weak.”

The two guards looked at each other, unsure. They stepped away, murmuring to each other, pressing their hands to small devices in their ears. Marvin watched them, straining to hear what was going on. He couldn’t quite make it out, but it didn’t make a difference, as the guards soon stopped talking and walked over to the bed. “Try standing up again,” the first one said.

Marvin nodded. He pushed against the bed, managing to sit up, but couldn’t get any higher. 

“This isn’t some sort of trick, is it?” the second guard said, narrowing their eyes. “We can tell if you’re lying.”

“I wouldn’ lie abou’ my condition,” Marvin said. “You all shoul’ know abou’ it and how it works. I just told t’at doctor lady t’at you can’ make a schedule for t’is fatigue.”

The guards glanced at the cameras in the room. They stared at them for a while, and Marvin stared too. He wasn’t nervous. Why would he be nervous? He had nothing to be afraid of. Other than the possibility of horrible experiments happening to him.

After what felt like forever, but which was actually less than a minute, the guards turned back to Marvin. “We’ll be taking you regardless of if you can stand or not,” the first guard said.

“Fine,” Marvin snapped, folding his arms. “Do t’at.”

And they did, reaching out and grabbing him by his arms. Marvin tried to stand up straight as they pulled him upright, but the moment they lessened the pressure, he started to collapse again. The two guards gave up on keeping him up and just started dragging him across the floor and out into the hallway.

Marvin looked around. This place appeared surprisingly normal. The strangest things were the cell doors, which looked like thick metal. The hallway continued on to the left, eventually ending in a set of double doors. The guards were dragging him to the right, which eventually turned a corner. Hmm... he definitely didn’t want to go where they were taking him, but that set of double-doors looked ominous. But they didn’t seem to be locked.

As the guards approached the corner, Marvin lifted his legs into the air and slammed them down onto the ground, planting his feet firmly. The guards jolted suddenly, looking at him in surprise, and he managed to wrench an arm free, lunging and grabbing something from the first guard’s belt. Some sort of gun? But he didn’t fire it, instead slamming the end of it into the second guard’s head, causing them to let go. Then Marvin dropped it and bolted.

“Hey!” The first guard shouted. The second one shook their head in surprise and they both ran after Marvin.

He couldn’t believe he’d gotten away with that! Surely people like this would realize when he was faking being more tired than he actually was! Didn’t these WTCHR cameras have the ability to detect emotions and lies? Maybe he just got lucky and these two guards were a bit less competent than the other IRIS staff members. But even if that was true, they were almost definitely faster than him. He glanced over his shoulder—yep, they were gaining on him!

He turned back around and pushed himself to run faster, slamming through the double doors. As soon as he was through he spun around and examined them from this side. They were equipped with a deadbolt. Perfect! He slid it closed just in time for the two guards to slam into it. That should buy him some time.

This area was pretty different from the cell block he was just in. The walls and floor were made out of some sort of smooth white material. The doors were still metal, but they looked slightly different, with plaques on the front that had seemingly random numbers and letters engraved on them. The hallway continued for a short distance before ending in a pair of elevator doors.

Marvin’s eyes darted around. What could he do in here?! He needed to find where his friends were. Anti and Jackie were probably in that same cell block he was just in. He couldn’t go back now that he’d locked the door; there would probably be more guards coming from that direction. No, he had to find where JJ and Schneep were. He’d been thinking about it, and they had to be somewhere else. Schneep was one of IRIS’s experiments and JJ could be considered an anomaly, they would want both of them under tighter security than the normal humans. Maybe they were on a different floor?

He hurried down the hallway towards the elevator, trying to press the call button. But there was no sign that it was activated. It didn’t light up or ding or anything. He pressed it a couple more times, just in case, but nothing. Maybe it needed some sort of key?

Bang bang bang! Marvin spun around and saw the double doors shaking as something heavy hit it from the other side. His eyes widened. He couldn’t wait for the elevator! He had to—

What was that?

One of the doors lining the hallway opened up, and someone walked out. But... it was hard to describe it. He couldn’t quite make out the features of who opened the door. It was almost like... they were made of glass, the faintest warp in the air in the vaguest shape of a person. Marvin stared at it for a few seconds, but the strange almost-person vanished as soon as they went into the hallway. So Marvin instead rushed towards it, peering into the room beyond.

The walls, floor, and ceiling were made of the same smooth white material. But unlike the hallway outside, which was brightly lit by fluorescent lights, the room was dim. There was a circular ring light embedded in the center of the ceiling, giving off a faint blue glow, but that still left the corners in shadow. Beneath the ring light was a circular platform, and on top of that circular platform... was something strange indeed. Two small objects hovered in midair, about a foot above the surface of the platform, blue and orange light swirling around them, creating a spiral that... hurt Marvin’s head to look at. He knew it was familiar... but he didn’t know where he’d seen it before.

He closed the door of the room behind him and walked towards the platform. The running was starting to catch up to him, and he could feel the fatigue pulling at him, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down quite yet. The two hovering objects were floating at chest-height for him, rotating around each other in a lazy orbit. The strange, spiraling light was coming from both of them at the same time, strands that tie together into a larger pattern. It’s mesmerizing to look at. And maddening. Where has he seen this?!

It only took him a few seconds to walk right up to the platform. He squinted through the light, looking at the two hovering objects. They’re awfully... flat? Wait a second...

“What the fuck?!” Marvin’s eyes widened. These were his cards!

Or, not all of them. Only two. The two jokers in the deck, the cards with the strange rune on the back that he hadn’t been able to identify yet. They were floating in midair, going around and around in an endless circle, emitting this strange, spiraling light. Huh. The rune on their backs... They were an angled spiral, with an X on top. Could that be... related?

Had IRIS used these to cast some sort of spell?

No, there was no way. Marvin didn’t even know all the possible combinations for his cards. IRIS couldn’t know them when he didn’t. Maybe they... stumbled across one? While messing around with them? But what could this spell be doing? The cards had never started hovering or emitting light before! And these two were the only cards in the room, where were the rest of them? What possible spell could be cast with just these two runes?

After a moment’s hesitation, Marvin reached out to the cards, stopping just before he put his hands into the light. It wasn’t emitting any heat. Nor any cold. He couldn’t feel any strange vibrations or anything. He pulled his hand back and patted himself down. There wasn’t anything on him that he could toss into the spiral of light to test if it was safe. IRIS had apparently left his jacket and hat in the hospital after they’d abducted him. But he still had his vest.

He glanced back at the door, listening. Nobody was coming. Or at least, nobody that he could hear. He quickly unbuttoned his vest and pulled it off. He held it by the collar and dangled it over the spiraling light. Slowly, he lowered it into the swirling glow caused by the cards. Lower... lower... lower... The cloth of the vest hit one of the cards, but the card’s orbit was unaffected. It just pushed past the vest. And when the other one followed, it pushed past too, knocking the vest to the side. Marvin pulled the vest out again, looking it over. Seemed no worse for wear.

That probably meant he could touch the cards himself, right? He still wasn’t sure, but he was running out of time. The guards would be coming at any moment. And these were his cards! He had to get them back!

He hesitated for one moment more, then reached out, intending to grab one—

The spiral of light flared, and he stumbled back. Suddenly, it was all he could see, taking up the entirety of his vision no matter where he turned his head. It was even there when he closed his eyes! “H-hey!” he shouted, reaching forward again to try and disrupt the card formation—maybe if he did that, this would stop—

And then the spiral was gone.

Marvin gasped, suddenly breathing heavily, eyes darting around the room. Nothing had changed in here. The room was empty except for the platform, and the cards continued to orbit around each other, that same pattern of light coming from them, completely undisturbed by Marvin’s interference.

...but that didn’t mean that everything was the same. He patted himself down, checking for any differences, but he felt alright. He listened for noise coming from elsewhere in the facility, but couldn’t hear anything. Well... even so, he probably shouldn’t risk touching the cards again. He would need to come back with something that could knock them out of their orbit. Why did he drop that gun he grabbed from the guard?! That could have come in handy! If not for this, then for eventually fending off the guards!

Well it was too late now. There wasn’t anything helpful in this room besides the cards. He had to leave and figure out something else before the guards cornered him in here. He turned and headed back to the door, starting to push it open—

It was locked.

Frowning, Marvin looked down at the door. There was a little switch under the handle. Next to it was a tiny LED screen with “Lock” displayed on it in red letters. He flipped the switch and the screen switched to reading “Open” in green. Then he tested the door again. It opened easily this time, and he poked his head out into the hallway—

Someone was there.

Marvin ducked his head back, but—the person wasn’t a guard. And they weren’t wearing a white coat. He quickly leaned back out to get a better look at them...

...

...what?

This is... impossible.

That figure... that’s him.

Marvin walked out into a hallway, but after only a few steps, the other version of him faded away, the color draining from his body as he became a mere warping in the air and then disappeared. That same warping effect that he’d seen from the person who stepped out of the room in the first place—

Then, suddenly, a handful of black-wearing guards appeared around him. They didn’t teleport over here in a flash or puff of smoke, he didn’t blink and hear a snap or other sound, they were just there. Not even looking at him! They were heading for the elevator. He gasped, and immediately all the guards swiveled towards him, unmistakable surprise on their faces. And then there was a yell from behind him. Marvin spun around, just in time to get tackled by another one of the guards—from inside the room! He cried out in surprise, which quickly turned to a cry of pain as the back of his head hit the floor.

“Clever, getting into there while it was locked,” one of the guards said. “But not as clever coming out while we were here. Did you think you could sneak past?”

“Sir, he wasn’t in the room at all!” said the guard pinning him.

“He wasn’t? Then where did he come from?”

“I don’t know sir! He just appeared!”

Marvin blinked away the pain and started to struggle, but two other guards rushed over and stopped him, holding his arms securely as they lifted him up, sandwiching him between their tight grips. The one who the other called ‘sir’ rushed over to stand directly in front of him. “How did you appear?” They demanded. “And how did you get into the room in the first place? You don’t have the card for the lock!”

“I-I don’—I don’ know, someone—someone walked out—” Marvin stammered.

“Who?!”

“I don’ know! It—It wasn’ really a person, it was—I don’ know.”

The guard’s eyes narrowed. “And how did you suddenly appear?”

“I don’ know!” Marvin repeated insistently. “T’me it looked like you all appeared out of thin air!”

The guards all exchanged glances. “Should we report this?” one of them asked.

“We’ll take him to the test room first,” the guard in charge said. “Tell the coats who come there.”

Test room?! Oh no. Oh no no no. He knew that nothing good would come of them showing up so soon after the assessment. Marvin tried to push the guards away, but they weren’t phased at all. They quickly began walking, and he soon lost his footing, ending up being dragged along the halls. 

They went through the double-doors back into the cell block area, and from there continued down a twisting pattern. Right, left, right, right—until they reached a section with pale blue walls. They then opened up another set of double doors, these ones on the side of the hall instead of at the end, and pulled him inside—

“Marvin!”

“Anti?!” Marvin’s eyes widened as he took in the room. The tables full of strange equipment—the mysterious item beneath a sheet—and Anti, strapped down to a chair. “Wh-what did they do to you?!”

“Nothing—yet. I think they were waiting for you.” Anti struggled against the leather straps. As the guards dragged Marvin closer, he could see red marks on Anti’s wrists where he’d been pulling at the restraints. He must have been doing that for a while.

“Are you okay?” Marvin asked.

“Yeah. As much as I fucking can be. You?”

“The same. But I t’ink somet’ing very strange jus’ happened to me...”

“What?!” Anti’s eyes narrowed. “What did they do to you?!”

“I don’ t’ink it was them, actually... or, uh... not... intentionally? It might’ve been a side effect of somet’ing else they were doin’.”

While they talked, one of the guards walked over to the corner of the room, and a section of the wall slid open. They reached inside and grabbed another chair with restraints, carrying it across the ground and putting it next to the one Anti was tied to. Marvin immediately knew that was meant for him. He tried to fight against the guards, but they were much stronger than him now that he didn’t have the element of surprise on his side. They easily forced him into the chair and strapped him down. 

Anti paused in his struggles, breathing heavily. Marvin couldn’t look at him directly, with his head restrained, but he could see him out of the corner of his eyes, slumping in the restraints. “Okay, we might not have much time,” Anti said. “Look, Jackie is here. He said that we’re probably on the surface level of one of their compounds, maybe a higher floor, but he’s not sure which compound.”

“I t’ink I heard you guys shoutin’ near my cell not too long ago,” Marvin said.

“Yes! W-we were moved there!” Anti tried to nod, but couldn’t quite manage it. “So we’re all in the same area. JJ and Schneep are somewhere else. H-have these guys done anything to you? Besides whatever just happened to you?”

“Um—one of them asked me some questions,” Marvin said. Another bit of the wall had slid open, and some people in white coats were coming out, starting to use the equipment on the tables. “Some sort of assessment t’ing.”

“The Dr. Hopkins Assessment?” Anti asked.

“Yes. They did t’at to you, too?”

“The last time I was here, yes. They did it twice, th-the second one fucked with my head s-somehow—” Anti took a deep, shuddering breath. “And what was the strange shit that just happened to you?”

“W-well, I tried to get away—”

“How far did you get?!” Anti asked urgently.

“Not too far. I went t’rough some doors at the end of the hall and found a white area with a lift and a bunch of metal doors. Then—I-I don’ know what happened, but one of the doors linin’ the hall opened up, and I went inside, and t’ere were two of my cards t’ere, floatin’ and glowing wit’ t’is strange spiral light t’at—I know I’ve seen before—a-and then I touched them and the spiral was in my eyes for a few seconds, a-and t’en I left the room and—and t’ere was myself out in the hall, but the other me disappeared and... and t’ese guards... appeared...” Marvin trailed off as he noticed something. Most of the people in white coats had stopped messing with the equipment and were now staring at him. Listening.

“That’s fucking weird,” Anti muttered. “I... I-I don’t know what that could’ve been. Sorry.”

“It’s alrigh’,” Marvin said softly. “I wouldn’ expect you to know.”

The people in white coats—scientists, or whatever—slowly returned their attention to their equipment.

“You think it could help us get out of here?” Anti whispered. “If you had your cards?”

“Def’nitely,” Marvin agreed.

Anti pulled at the restraints some more, wincing slightly. “I’m guessing that whatever you just saw isn’t a normal thing they do?”

“I don’ know. I’ve forgotten so much abou’ them. But... I know I’ve seen t’at spiral. And not jus’ in Jems’ crystal ball. I saw it before then. And I know it’s important.” Marvin sighed. “I jus’ don’ remember why.”

The machines on the tables began to hum. The scientists had tablets and clipboards with them, a variety of note-taking utensils. One of them gestured at a guard, who then walked over to the strange item on the central table and quickly pulled the sheet off before retreating. The scientists and other guards quickly backed away as well, all of them staying on the other side of the U made of tables.

The item on the table was a stone tablet, like something early civilizations used to keep records. It was propped up on some sort of plastic display thing, keeping it at a diagonal. There were some sort of carvings on its surface, but even when Marvin squinted at it, he couldn’t make out what they were. They weren’t sitting that far away... why couldn’t he understand what the carvings were?

“In five,” one of the scientists said. “Four...”

“Don’t worry, Marvin,” Anti whispered. 

“Three...”

“I’m right next to you.”

“Two...”

Marvin swallowed a lump in his throat. “T’ank you.”

“One... and go.”

The humming increased. Marvin tensed up, waiting for something to happen. He noticed Anti similarly tensing next to him. But... there was nothing. Nothing visible, at least. Marvin’s eyes darted around, looking for anything out of the ordinary. He didn’t like all the scientists looking at them. But he was more worried about whatever the fuck was going to happen to him.

When his head started to swim, he didn’t immediately think it was because of all this. He thought it was from the stress. But as the dizzy feeling increased, quickly growing, he realized that it wasn’t normal. “A-Anti...?” he whispered. “Are you... feelin’ strange?”

“Hmm? A bit, I guess.” Anti instinctively tried to shake his head before the motion was stopped by the restraint.

“A bit?” Marvin was feeling more than ‘a bit’ strange. The heavy, blurry feeling in his head was so intense that it was hard for his eyes to focus on anything. And it was beginning to spread. There was weakness in his limbs already, but the strange feeling was making it worse. He wanted to struggle against the bonds, but all he could do was sit there limply. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw movement in Anti’s direction. So this wasn’t hitting him as bad as it was his.

“Wh-what do you fucks want to get out of this?” Anti demanded, the tremble in his voice giving away his nervousness. “Is this fun for you? You sick fucking bastards?!”

The scientists didn’t respond, and Marvin couldn’t read their faces with his vision going all wonky. He didn’t know if they were phased by Anti’s shouting.

The dizziness was starting to bring tears to his eyes. It felt like there was a heavy metal ball rolling around his head, putting pressure on the inside. His throat was clogging up with something. Some sort of... mucus, maybe? It was affecting his breathing, making it sound wet.

“M-Marvin, talk to me, h-how are you doing?” Anti asked.

Marvin didn’t answer. He tried, but all that came out were disconnected, slurred sounds. He couldn’t concentrate enough to form something coherent.

“Marvin?! Marvin!” Anti tried to turn to look at him, fighting against the leather strap. He could see tears falling down Marvin’s face, but it was hard to concentrate on that sight. That is... until the tears turned red. “M-Marvin! You’re bleeding!”

“Blndnwhhh?” Marvin mumbled, eyelids half-closed.

Anti tugged at the restraints some more. He didn’t even care that he’d already rubbed his wrists raw trying to get away before Marvin showed up. If he could just get free—If he could just get Marvin free—If he could just cause enough of a scene to maybe knock that stupid tablet away from them—Because that tablet had to be what was doing this. It and its weird fucking carvings that kept slipping out of his mind. It had to be what was messing with his head, making everything dizzy.

And that feeling, combined with the blood coming from Marvin’s eyes... It’s not identical to what Distorter did, but it was similar enough to be worrying.

“What the fuck are you guys doing to us?!” Anti blinked, fighting the dizziness that was slowly filling his mind. He had to keep concentrating! He wouldn’t be dragged down ever again!

The scientists might as well have been statues for all the response they gave.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, tied down, feeling the effects of whatever this stone was. It was hard to keep track of time. His awareness kept fading in and out, but even when he wasn’t fully there he fought against the water drowning his thoughts. Marvin stopped responding after a while. Even though Anti kept calling to him. He wasn’t sure if Marvin was still awake... But he had to be okay. He had to be okay. If he wasn’t... if he wasn’t...

After what felt like forever, the humming of the instruments stopped, and the guards approached, unstrapping them from the chairs. Anti turned to look at Marvin fully. He wasn’t unconscious, but he was completely limp, eyes mostly-closed. One guard lifted him up and carried him out of the room. Two more grabbed Anti, pulling him along. He tried to struggle the whole time they dragged him down the hallway, but whatever that thing was really did a number on him.

But at least he noticed which cell they carried Marvin into. It was two doors down from his own. And Jackie was across from him. This was good to know.

They dumped him on the floor and locked the door behind him. He curled up, breathing slowly. Now that he was alone again, and probably would be alone for a while, he gave up on the fight and decided to just lie there for a while. Rest. Recover a bit.

They had to get out of here soon. If this was the sort of shit IRIS had planned for them, they had to escape before it wore them down.

[saltysskin]

Radio Silence Signal

könig finds out f!reader is bi (fluff//flirting)

It was almost 11:30 at night when I heard a soft knock at my door, “Hey D, why is the Colonel outside, asking for you?” my roommate asked, popping her head into my room. “Shit,” I hurried to throw on some kind of clothing, he came unannounced. I carefully made my way through the dorm I was currently sharing with 2 other medics. Opening the heavy door, I see him, waiting. He’s still in his work attire, mask and all. He turned around to face me, putting his arms down by his side, “Colonel,” I stated before noticing him staring at my outfit. I had a big tshirt on, with old army fatigue pants that were cut off at my thigh, I had two different color socks on as well as my work boots. “You look, like a—what is the word?” König’s German accent was almost as thick as my southern one. “Do I even wanna know the word yer lookin’ for?” I complained, “I got dressed in the dark, okay?” I continued. “What do ya want anyway?” I crossed my arms, hiding my chest from the cold air. “A redneck!” König exclaimed, finally remembering the word he was stuck on. “I’ve been called worse,” I leaned against the doorway, unamused and tired from the day. “That’s a word Americans say, no?” He laughed to himself, ignoring everything I just said. He’d been on an American base for a few months now, lapping up the culture. “Yeah we gotta word for Austrians too but, you won’t like it,” I joked, while pushing my hair behind my shoulder away from my face. He scoffed at my remark, which made him squint his eyes at me, finally focusing on the task at hand. “I have a few questions,” König confessed, getting closer to me. I looked up at him with tired eyes, a building of a man. He looked into my dorm, then down the hall, “Shall we?” He insisted, I obliged. We walked down a long corridor, then out a door that lead to outside. He sat down on a bench that neared the door we just came through. I stood in front of him, keeping my arms crossed. Since he was sitting, he was finally at my eye level, making this hard to get through. He never breaks eye contact, and it works my nerves like a live wire. He was very animalistic but yearned for connection, he was like a rouge animal cast out from his pride. I’ve heard what they say around campus, what they call Colonel König. The stories they make up about him, just to keep him isolated. “I have to ask,” He began, I wasn’t worried before, but I am now. Being alone with him made me feel exposed, he could make me disappear and that’d be the end of me. “Have you had any men in your dorm?” His voice was stern, he was still in work mode, but my brain was shutting off. I furrowed my brows at the question, waiting a moment before answering. “No, sir,” I answered honestly, that was only a problem if it were after hours, anyways. “Any women?” He asked, his question hung in the air, like he already knew. I straightened my posture while he stared at me, “We’ll, my roommates—,” I tried explaining, before he interrupts. He scoffed then waved his hand at my comment, “Why?” I asked in a defensive tone. Offended by his harshness, “Because I heard otherwise,” König had leaned back where he sat with his arm resting on the back rest of the bench. “You read my file?” I accused him, only for him to shrug in response. I had a fling with a good friend of mine, we were caught, and I was written up for it. So there it sits, within stacks of papers and he managed to find it. My face was bright red, burning me alive, I was embarrassed recoiling into my clothes trying to hide. “What’s your point, König?��� I snapped at him, retaliating for the embarrassment. His eyes widened from hearing me say his name, I could see him deciding to ignore it, for now. “Do you only like women?” He asked, looking away from me for a moment, “What?” I hissed, annoyed by him prying, “Do you only desire women?” He repeated his question, making my body tense up. “I-well-,” I stuttered unable to find my footing, I didn’t say anything for a moment, I decided that since someone was asking, that I’d answer. “I’ve desired men before,” I replied, my hands tugging at each other.

This was a topic I’ve spoken to no one about, now suddenly here I am; saying it out loud. I do favor privacy, less chance of the judgement that inherently comes with humans. He shifted where he sat, not able to look at me anymore, “Don’t tell me, ya drug me outta bed to have a conversation about my sex life,” I scoffed at him. He looked back over at me, “You haven’t pursued any other men on base—,” He tried to explain, before I interrupted, “Their not really my type,” I answered, before turning my view away from him. As if I haven’t heard that before, I’d been on countless dates and not one of them stuck. “Type?” He breathed out, before rubbing the back of his head with his hand. He studied me for a moment, making us both sit in silence. He stood up from the bench and approached me, I backed up naturally, after his shadow swallowed where I stood, I looked up at him with wide eyes. He towered over me, blocking out the only light that came from a nearby streetlamp. “I’m different from them,” He purred down at me, turning into a flirt before my eyes. How long has he been alone? Can’t be longer than I have. “I know you are,” I said up at him softly, before he picked up my hand with one of his. I held my breath from the shock of human touch, König’s fingers played with mine for a moment, I was smitten with how gentle he was. My hands only covering most of his palm, my fingers stopping where his began. He took off one of his black cloth gloves, then grabbed at my hand again, allowing his skin to touch mine. I shivered from it, getting goosebumps at how warm blooded he was, radiating heat like a furnace. He corrected his posture while keeping his eyes on our entangled hands, “It’s film night in the mess hall tomorrow,” His voice was low, like he shifted into another gear. “Will you join me?” He purposed as he continued to play with my fingers. I looked up at him with a small smile, with his eyes meeting mine I looked away again, trying to keep my cool. I nodded my head, “Okay,” I accepted, “I’d like that,” I gushed to myself silently. As he walked me back to my room he stayed close by my side, instead of behind me. “Thank you for your time,” He cooed at me, making me smile in response, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” I said nervously while leaning against my door. “I’ll save you a chair,” He insisted, playfully, before looking down at me again. “Goodnight Colonel,” I cooed, giggling from his English phrasing. Hearing a faint, “Gute Nacht,” slip out from behind his mask along with a few other German words I didn’t understand. I laid in my bed that night wracking my brain at what had just happened, going over every detail in my mind. I failed at picking up on his energy towards me. Aside from catching him staring at me, multiple times. We’d only shared about a dozen words between each other. This all felt out of the blue, but maybe I haven’t been paying enough attention. I was so use to being unavailable I didn’t realize; until now. I’d been alone, on my own for way too long to remember what it’s like being with someone. Sharing my time, my love with them, was something I’d prayed for in the past. I hear what the others say, and with each sickening comment on a woman’s body I recoiled more and more out of their view of sight. I made myself undateable, so they couldn’t hurt me the way they told their friends they would. I seemed callous and checked out because I was, because I was made to be, unapologetically.

[punishing-eden]

Hi been following your blog for a while now and I finally racked up the courage to ask for a request.

The new Chrome Glory frame's idle voice line was super cute like Skk just falling asleep and Chrome sing-songing them to wake up or they'll get a cold but skk doesn't absolute fluff.

It however got me thinking Skk is very overworked their character is so hardworking that in Echo Aria they were fading in and out of consciousness but was insisting they were fine.

I'm a sucker for a sickfic or one of those fics where one has to tell the other to go sleep because they can tell their tired or the fics where the other can't sleep and the other soothes them to sleep.

A bit indulgent I know, but they, funny enough also help me sleep because my mind just constantly races. Any one of those scenarios would be cute to read with Chrome either frame.

Thank you for reading.

Being Here with You...

Chrome (Archlight) x Commandant/Reader

Summary:

Having caught a fever during a battle you have no choice but to rest. With Chrome, he is here to make sure you recover well enough to head back to the base.

Tags: Fluff, Sickfic, Sleeping fic, one-shot, request

Trudging your way through the battlefield, you noticed your breathing got heavier. you couldn't help but feel your eyes water from your fatigue. 'no,' you said to yourself, 'I must keep moving!'

Sluggishly, you leg felt heavy as you began to fall behind from your team.

"Commandant?" Lucia turned around and asked.

The dizziness began to pick up its momentum, hitting you in waves as you tried to focus on your mission. The rain, at this point, started to pour a little harder.

"I am fine," you managed to speak.

Forcing yourself to push through, you ignored the warnings and concerns from others about your crammed schedule that suddenly arose in your mind. As if now you have finally realised how bad your health has plummeted, with one last step, too weak to support your weight yourself, you came falling down on the muddy ground.

"Commandant!"

*******************

The sky went from dark to light grey as the rain poured heavily, washing the scent of oil and vital fluids away.

"Temperature's reaching 37 degrees," Liv said.

Her hands gently swipe a strand of hair from your forehead. Your clothes have been disposed of near a makeshift campfire, leaving you with your undershirt and shorts.

Lucia had just come back with more firewood and had added them to the fire. In hopes, to dry your clothes as soon as possible.

You shift slightly, head resting on Liv's lap, and you pulled on Lucia and Lee's jacket closer. Trying to suppress the involuntarily cold shivers running through your body.

"How's Commandant?" Lucia asked.

There was a look of worry on Liv's face, "Fever's starting to run high," she said.

"I have used Commandant's comm to request for a medic," Lee said, "They should be here by-"

Suddenly, your comms in his hands began to ring. A new message came through.

Lee accepted the message and proceeded to send it to everyone's inner devices. There was a moment of silence as the group comprehended the message. With a frustrated sigh, he commented, "Group D needs backup... Now is not a good time..."

"I-I could stay with Commandant, while you go..." Liv suggest, although she wasn't confident in this decision.

The two other construct heasitated.

"The location of Group D is by the port on the other side. If anything is happening here, we won't make it in time." Lucia said.

Your comms rung again, it was another backup request from another group. This time they need a support construct.

"This is annoying..." Lee mumbled.

The group went silent, trying to think of solutions. They can't just leave you behind when you were having a fever.

Your comms notification went off again alerting, and hurrying your constructs to make a decision. Thinking hard, Lucia was the first to speak up," Lee said help is on its way, we should stay here until they come."

Her teammates both nodded in agreement.

"Whoever is coming, I hope they will be here soon," Lucia said.

"Well, you are just in luck, Lucia," Lee said as he point at the distance. Still foggy from the downpours, the Grey Ravens were able to make out a silhouette running towards them.

"A medic?" Liv asked.

As the figure approached. The group finally saw who had arrived. Drench in rain, water droplets dropped from his blond hair to his synthetic skin. Chrome came at the right time.

Catching his breath, he places the silver case, which he has been carrying the whole time, on the ground. Kneeling by your side he asked, "How's Commandant?"

"Fever is running high, Commandant has experience a few cold seizures. I have been able to keep the fever in check," Liv reported.

She, along with Chrome's help, moved you away from her lap to the ground. "Do you have any medicine at hand?" She asked Archlight.

Responding with a nod, Chrome went to the silver case and opened it. He took out his neatly folded white overcoat and underneath were medical supplies. Taking out a few bottles of pills, he let Liv inspect them. "Which one do you need? I got your call and hurried my way here. Wanshi couldn't come because he's got a hand full on our end."

"Looks like everyone is stretched tight for this operation," Lee said and got his gun ready, "Since Strike Hawk is here, I am more relief to leave Commandant."

Lucia nodded, "Chrome, do you mind taking care of Commandant while we are gone?"

"Noted," Chrome nodded, "I will send our coordinates to the base camp, so the reinforcements can come to pick us up."

"You have our many thanks," Lucia said. She then turned to you, still weak, as Liv held you up so, Chrome can give you the medication.

"Commandant, please be safe. We will be back," Lucia said and followed Lee to the port.

Carefully, Chrome held the bottle of water against your lip as you drank. After swallowing the pill, both Liv and Chrome placed you back down on the ground.

"As soon as the clothes are dry, put them on Commandant to prevent hypothermia. The most important thing is to keep the chest area warm," Liv instructed, "The medication lasts for about two hours, so please remember to give Commandant another dose then."

"Same dosage?" Chrome asked diligently.

"Yes, this medication tends to be drowsy. So don't overdose." Liv got the other bottle and continued, "These can also work as pain killers, if Commandant is in any pain you can also use these."

"Noted."

Liv gave an assured smile and nodded, "Thank you for doing this, I will be off now."

"Rest assured. I will take care of Commandant." Chrome promised. He watched as Liv ran in the other direction to help the other group.

Now alone with you, Chrome was confident to make sure you can survive out on this battlefield until the rescue team comes.

Resting your head on his lap, he grabbed his white overcoat, since he place it in the briefcase, the clothing was nice and dry. He managed to wrap it around you as your body shivered.

The construct stayed still for a long while as you rest. Eyes diligently survey the surroundings for anything feasible danger, but so far, there was none.

For a moment, he got a little distracted and looked down at you, still lying asleep on his lap. He studied your face since it was the first time he saw you sleeping so peacefully. Your brows were, for once, not furrowed together and your hands weren't fisted tightly.

You slept without a care.

As much as Chrome wanted to let you sleep, he checked the time before his hand gently hover above your face. He remains stoic and quiet. Thinking hard to himself. Staying in this position for a while, he let out a small breath and moved his hand to your shoulder, poking you lightly.

You did not stir.

He poked a little harder.

No reaction.

He tapped on your shoulder harder and you woke.

"Hmmm..." you let out a protest. Your head felt light as you slowly got up.

Groggily looking around, you notice Chrome next to you. Wiping the sleep away from your face, your vision cleared with Archlight in front of you, holding a water bottle and a little pink pill in his other hand.

Confused you looked at Chrome, but he spoke before you could ask him what was going on.

"Oh good you are awake, it's time to take your medicine," he said.

"Medicine?" you asked.

"Do you not know what happened?" Chrome asked.

You shook your head, head still feeling terrible, but it felt much better than before.

"My head hurts... Where are the others?" you asked. As Chrome gestures insisted, you took the pill, popped it in your mouth, and took a swig from the bottle of water.

"They currently placed in different stations as a backup. I am tasked to supervise you before the reinforcements come." Chrome explained.

No matter how thorough his explain was, you didn't quite hear him. Your mind wandering with disoriented thoughts. Your face, still flushed with fever, you spoke, "I got to find them..."

Stubbornly, you fought the fatigue and were about to stand up when Chrome quickly grabbed you and pulled you back down, "Commandant, wait! You are still sick, it is best to stay here and recover than engage in battle."

"I will be fine... I did this before..." you protested.

"No, it's too dangerous." Chrome argued, struggling to pull you back by the arm.

Your brows furrowed, annoyed by the construct's actions. Seeing how much you insisted on leaving, Chrome had no choice but to wrap his arms around you and pull you back down with him.

"Forgive me Commandant, but I must keep you safe," he said sternly. He held you tight as you wiggled about.

Only, for your movements began to slow down. Your protest grew weak and before you know it, you let out a big yawn.

"See?" Chrome spoke softly, "Please take a rest, Commandant."

"..." you went quiet and gave your current situation a thought. You couldn't argue that your eyelids were feeling heavy. Your head was still pounding, and your body was screaming for you to let it take adequate rest.

"...fine, I guess I could take this opportunity to "slack off", like how everyone has been telling me to." you made a dissatisfied look. Looking up, your eyes met with Chrome's, "Just wake me up ten minutes before the reinforcements arrive."

With that, you lay your head against Chrome's chest. Following the rhythm of his breathing; you know it's artificial but you never paid mind. Slowly, you drifted off to your very much-needed slumber. Naturally, you snuggled close to Chrome, finding comfort from his arms holding on to you. somewhat also acting as a mattress or the alike.

This left Archlight in a rather troubling position. What would he suppose to do if he needs to move? Should he wake you up when you are supposed to stay asleep? However, he thought that maybe this isn't so bad.

"Really...what must it take for you to get some rest? " He lets out a defeat sign with a smile. He doesn't mind being your bed, if it means for you to recover and get some rest.

Regardless, shifting his arms securely around you, he adjust his coat to make sure you were warm enough before returning his gaze to survey the area.

------------------------

Author's notes

As I wrote this, I was thinking should I go for a sick fic or a sleep fic. Then I thought, why not both?

Tbh, I actually haven't done Echos Aria yet. (I also didn't get S Chrome) :/

Maybe, I might get to it in the future.

[the-kittens-of-vol-tron]

KEITH WAKING UP FROM SURGERY PLZPPLEZPLZZZZZ

:D

Post is here!

------

Keith felt his eyes tugging themselves open. Everything felt heavy and he was suddenly aware of the dull pain that throbbed over his body.

He tried to focus on the bright light above him, trying to focus on the ceiling tile next to it. He forced his eyes to blink, trying to push away the fatigue that sat on him.

He turned his head to the left, slowly. He hated how slow he had to move.

He knew Lance was sitting by him, but he couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to look at him. Lance was his best friend, and maybe...just maybe he had a tiny crush on him but being friends was enough for him.

He was grateful for Lance, after all, how many friends would be willing to spend hours sitting in the hospital, waiting for him to be released, letting the nurse explain everything that was going to happen, and sitting there for hours by himself while Keith was in surgery.

Yeah, Keith liked him.

He opened his mouth to say something, he thinks he wanted to call out to Lance; but he was quickly discovering how hard it was to think through anesthesia.

He must have said something since Lance scooched closer to him from where he sat next to him, a soft smile on his face. "Hey man, how're doing?"

Keith isn't sure if he nodded his head or not, he was too focused on blinking. He loved looking at Lance, his soft features, his lopsided smile, the ocean-blue eyes that seemed to stare into his soul. Lance was a work of art that Keith always wanted to observe.

It wasn't new knowledge that Keith wasn't much for physical affection. He was very independent, his upbringing made it so it had to be. He lived by himself, he paid his own bills, never asking for anyone to even cover his gas when he drove them somewhere. Keith liked being independent, he liked not having to rely on anyone.

But right now, all he wanted to do was be held, or hold someone else. He wanted to be comforted, in a way he never really desired.

He found himself leaning more on his left side, reaching across himself with his right hand, finding it laying limply on the moveable railing of his bed.

"What was that?" Lance leaned forward, bringing his face closer to try to understand whatever Keith was mumbling.

Keith made a soft whimper, the pain was dull but still enough to make him uncomfortable. "Ha-d"

Lance scrunched his eyebrows, "what? Want your phone?"

Keith pushed most of his energy into shaking his head once or twice before he took another deep breath; god he was so tired. "Want...han-"

"My...my hand?"

Keith closed his eyes, trying to reach across the bed more; even though he knew his hand didn't change much. "Hand."

"Uhh okay." Lance reached up and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers gently. "You okay buddy?"

Keith attempted another nod, his eyelids already closed as sleep tugged at him.

---

Lance watched the other boy sleep, his thumb rubbing small circles on the other boy's hand. Keith looked peaceful but he knew he was itching to be awake. Keith was not one to want to lay around all day, let alone take a nap.

"Did he fall asleep again?"

Lance looked up at the nurse who was poking her head into their area. "Yeah, he seemed very tired."

She pushed the curtain back some and stepped into the room, checking his IV bag. "Anesthesia can be hard for people to shake sometimes. Just let him sleep." She looked at how their fingers were intertwined. "Are you his boyfriend?"

Lance shook his head, his eye falling back to the sleeping boy. "No just friends," he squeezed the other boy's hand softly.

She left the room with instructions to call for her when he woke up again and Lance found his free hand smoothing down Keith's hair. He had taken the week off of work to take care of him and he was fully prepared to deal with whatever healing Keith needed.

Crush aside, Lance was thrilled that Keith trusted him enough to ask him for help. And apparently, he trusted him enough to hold his hand and find comfort in him.

Lance found a small smile on his face as he watched the other boy; he hadn't seen Keith this relaxed in a while. "Get some rest mullet."

-----

Did Lance give him a forehead kiss? Idk man

Did they kiss a couple of days after Keith got home? Yes.

I had this half way done when you send the ask for thank you for giving me the final motivation for this.

Thank you <3

[ballonleastadiumofficial]

👀 a time my muse told a lie. 

“D-Disarming Voice! Now!”

The sound of Hatenna’s shout reverberated over the battlefield, painting the air in pink-tinted sound waves. Zigzagoon and Thievul teetered, stumbled, fell to the ground one after the other with soft thumps. A moment passed. Two. Bede and Hatenna took in synced, ragged breaths, the pokemon’s hair ragged and scuffed and sweat running down the trainer’s forehead. The two Team Yell members, meanwhile, bared their teeth and hissed as they returned their exhausted pokemon to their pokeballs.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve, thinkin’ you can just roll up and mess with Marnie!”

“Yeah! If you think you’re givin’ our girl that attitude, you’ve got another thing coming! Why, I oughtta…” Bede had gathered what he could of his composure and was about to offer a retort when they were interrupted by a call from behind.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough, you two!” Marnie pushed off from the wall she had been leaning on, striding casually up behind the two grunts with her Morpeko in tow. “No more gangin’ up on ‘im! I mean it!”

“M-Marnie!”

“We thought you’d gone up ahead!”

“We was just- we was just teachin’ this kid a lesson!”

“Yeah! Little man was tailin’ ya, Marns, lookin’ real suspicious… don’t think he’s here for a friendly chat, ‘s all ‘m sayin’!”

Bede ran a hand through his hair and scoffed. “That’s what you were doing, was it? Interesting. I got the impression that you could learn a thing or two from me.” He shoved a hand in his coat pocket and looked down his nose at the trio in front of him. “Or did you dunderheads already forget that I was the victor here? Really now, I hope you’ll consider honing your skills beyond that of a common youngster before you next try ‘teaching someone a lesson’.” Try as he might, however, Bede couldn’t entirely contain his fatigue. His forehead remained slick with sweat, and his shoulders sagged slightly as he attempted to catch his breath from the frantic shouting of moments before. The truth was that the battle was much closer than Bede wanted to let on- the grunts had nothing but a Zigzagoon, a Thievul, and a Purrloin, and yet Bede had been backed into a corner, whittled down to his last pokemon… how could he let this happen? His gaze flickered between his battered Hatenna, who was walking towards him to lean on her trainer’s leg, and the glimpse of a bright red dynamax band under Marnie’s sleeve. He’d been following her to claim that wishing star for himself… but could he even manage that now?

Marnie swatted at the air dismissively. “What? We judgin’ people based off appearances now? I thought that was somethin’ we were tryin’ to fight!” she cast a sidelong glance at Bede and his cocky stance, frowning. “...’n so what if he wanted to pick a fight? Don’t think I can handle m’self, do ya?”

“O-of course you can, Marnie!”

“Yeah! You’re the best of ‘em all, everybody knows that!”

“Then let me handle it, why don’t ya?!” Marnie shooed the grunts away, and they ran off with comical diligence and urgency. Bede’s eyes traced their retreat until they disappeared behind a nearby tree. Hmph. Of course they couldn’t stray too far from their precious challenger. His attention snapped back toward Marnie as she approached him, Morpeko having jumped up onto her shoulder and snuggled up to her head. "Sorry 'bout them… I'd've put a stop to that mess sooner, if I saw what they were stirrin' up. Only caught ya once the scuffle had already started, ‘n, well, figured I shouldn’t interrupt…" Marnie swung her arms at her side and smiled ever so slightly at Bede. "But that was some nice battlin'. And now the real fun can begin, aye? You wanted to challenge me?"

Bede sneered at her. His gaze flicked down to Hatenna at his feet, at her determined yet exhausted expression… she’d try battling this trainer, if Bede willed it. Although she likely wouldn’t succeed in this state. With new resolve, the psychic trainer looked up and past Marnie, as if she weren’t worth his attention. “Tch. I see no need, at this point. I’ve already wasted enough time here.” He brought his arm up and cast a glance at his gold watch, making sure it was tipped such that Marnie could see its brand and quality, to emphasize his point. “Besides, you watched my match just now, didn’t you? I think I’ve already quite handily proven my strength to you. So let’s put a pin in this challenge until the champion cup, shall we? If you manage to make it that far, that is.” Morpeko gave Bede a steely look and Marnie opened her mouth to respond, when Bede put his hand up to stop her and hissed through his teeth. “Oh, save it, won’t you? It appears I’ve got even less time to spend than I thought. A wishing star just fell over there, didn’t you see? I must be sure that I’m the one to take it. You wouldn’t understand, but I’ve got a necessary duty to uphold, afforded to me by the Chairman himself.”

“Hm? I didn’t see anythin’- …annnnn’ he’s gone.” Now alone, Marnie stood dumbfounded. After a moment, she reached up and tickled her Morpeko under the chin. “What an odd one, huh? Don’ think we should let it bother us, though. Le’s just get back to trainin’...”

[yumejo]

hook, line, and—floater...?

「jade x haru // jaderu」 ↳ for precious @kunehori !! title is just a little pun on haru's obliviousness hehe

“Azul, Mana-san asked me to bring you these reports—?” Pushing the door open to Azul’s personal office, Haru immediately felt her heart plummet into her stomach with dread as she stood frozen in the entryway.

Arched on his desk with his arms pendulously over the edge, Azul appeared lifeless and defunct; the pallidness of his complexion attributing to this grievous notion.

“A-A-Azul is d-dead?!” a disquieted squeak emitted from Haru’s quivering lips as she rushed forward, panicking on what she should do. She fished out her phone quickly, whimpering, “C-Call! Um! Eight⋯ One⋯ Ahh! What’s Papa and Mama’s number again?!”

“It’s 896-xxx, right?”

“O-Oh! Thank you! E-Eight, Nine⋯” Just before Haru pressed the next number, her finger stopped.

Peering down at her beloved cousin’s corpse, Haru nearly shrieked when she scrutinized Azul staring back at her—eyes rimmed with a weariness only worn by the dead. “Could you not,” he began with a croak, pinching the bridge of his nose, “barge into my office and presume I’m dead? And don’t try calling your own parents before even checking to see if I’m still breathing?”

“You scared me half-to-death!” Haru riposted with a petulant pout, resting a hand over her bosom in an attempt to placate her pulsating heart. “I’m so relieved I was wrong⋯”

“Oh? Showing care for me now, are we?” Azul quipped with an unimaginative wickedness, tone still dabbed with tinctures of fatigue as his slender fingers grasped his glasses and slotted them back onto his countenance.

Haru glowered with reproach, his comment evoking odium to rise into her throat, before she simply sighed, not giving him the satisfaction of a snit, “I was just worried about the cost of a coffin to fit you and all those tentacles of yours.”

Popping a vein on his forehead, Azul snapped back, “It’s your fault I’m like this, you know.”

“Wha—How so?!”

This type of asinine banter was to be expected from the two of them—their relationship akin to siblings than that of cousins. Growing up alongside Azul, Haru was one of the few people who stood by him throughout all his insecurities and plights.

“Because you didn’t like the cake Jade made for you,” Azul elucidated with a drained exhale, his lips twitching in vexation as he recollected all he had to endure, “He forced Floyd and I to eat so many different batches all night. Well, Floyd got bored and left half-way through—”

That made Haru pause, her eyebrows quirking in flummox. Jade was that concerned over a small comment she made the previous day? All she could remember was sticking her tongue out and saying ‘this is way too sweet!’ before nudging the plate away from her; but it seemed as if that was enough to galvanize Jade into an all-night cake baking bootcamp.

But⋯ why was Jade so obdurate on changing the recipe? It was a popular cake at Mostro Lounge.

“—I’m going to gain 10 pounds just from the sheer amount I ate alone. All those carbs and sugar,” Azul continued to grouse and lament his predicament as Haru was still lost in her ruminations.

“Did Jade⋯ find a suitable recipe?” Haru questioned, interposing onto Azul’s long monologue of misfortune, her skin emanating a warmth beyond her comprehension.

“Hm? I suppose so. He said he’ll serve it to you later,” Azul answered, shrugging his shoulders as he shook his head, “He even refused to let me put it on the menu. What a shame, it’s quite delicious with all the tweaks he made.”

Bringing her fingers up to her cheeks, as if doing that would suppress the heat overflowing from her cheeks, Haru murmured a soft, airy ‘oh’⋯ why did she suddenly feel so flattered and embarrassed?

[dennydraws]

Good Morning and happy Mon- wait it's Tuesday!

Argh, I got lost in time again! It's another week and back to the grind! Why weekends can't be longer...

Whew, youtubing is getting slightly easier! But now I struggle with the phone camera. I keep trying different settings and at the end the weird wiggle still persists. But for now I just want to get more comfy with the drawing process while recording cause that alone can be a little uncomfy hehe I guess it's the whole selfconcious that you are being recorded XD but with that said, I ran out of energy to record a voice over last weekend while fighting a terrible migraine on Sunday. I thought to leave it for the next weekend instead of pushing myself but if I get burst of energy earlier, I will post it through the week :D

Comic work! Thank you for following "The Snake, The Firebrand and The King of All" !! ... that title sure is a mouthful, huh xD; The next chapter will be a bit late, likely next monday? I did outline it, I had to start sketching the pages on Sunday but I felt so incredibly tired, I spent most of the day just sleeping. I think work fatigue piled on me once more. We have a lot of holidays in February and of course a lot of graphics for those. I've been coming home with nothing but brain fog, static noise and desire to sleep forever. u_u;; But at least chapter 11 is fully sketched and I quite liked the flow of it! It is a bit more complex but maybe I can line art it little by little through the week rather than all at once in the weekend. I'll see! I'm pass the mid point and into the fluff now! +o+ I didn't think I'd go this far for something I didn't incredibly prepared for!

I've been playing Fire Emblem Heroes on the side... while waiting for other games to come out this year - looking at Eiyuden 👀! I will likely drop off the earth till I finish it, when it comes out, hehe ! :D But yes! FE! I'm long time fan though I hadn't played anything after Awakening, so more of a fan of the old ones? I couldn't invest the time and energy to pick 3 Houses purely because there was no golden ending of everyone lives and is happy - I'm too old for that sad shite, okay? u_u;;; Fates... we don't talk about Fates and Engage felt like the vtuber nation attacked. I couldn't get pass the character designs so I never touched it. The mobile game is fun and I just mainly picked it so I could grab some faves and pamper them! Lucky for me my faves have like no alts and were easy to pick :D;;; ...so I guess my taste is that bad, huh 8D;; It's ok Gangrel, I still think you are the best Trash King!

But yes~ I'm swamped at work, my hands are giving in, I can't wait for the weather to get warmer and I can't wait for Eiyuden to come out! \o/ Until then, I try to survive xD;; but don't we all? Apologies for not posting much...or anything lately. Work has just been soul crushing crunch as usual when several big holidays come in 1 month.

In any case ~ Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have great rest of the week! \o/!!

[nookishposts]

Hit Pause

I haven't been able to really write in some time and there are reasons. My life is on a pause for the next while, because my brain and body made me do it; I was not listening so they ganged up to make their point.

I was sitting at work one day, after a series of back-to-back respiratory viruses had left me physically depleted, and suddenly I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. My mind went blank and the simplest tasks slipped away into a maze of confusion. It was scary. I went to see my primary care provider and together we began to untangle the knots that had choked me into a complete stop. She is a smart cookie and knew the right questions to ask. She also had had an eerily similar experience herself, for which I remain very grateful as it means she "gets" what I have a hard time explaining. Including the brutal self-recrimination part.

(I was raised in the era of the Protestant work ethic motto of "Suck it up Buttercup" meaning I went to work no matter what, without complaint because that's what was expected. Taking time off was akin to weakness, in mind and body and that was shameful. We didn't want to let our co-workers down, or miss a paycheck. In those days, employers had the same expectation and could find ways to fire a person they saw as "slacking" if it interfered with production. Thankfully, workplace laws are different now and workers are a bit more protected.)

There were a number of contributing factors. I'd said goodbye to the massage and reflexology practice that had sustained me for 27 years, and with which I had defined myself more than I realised. I/we had experienced a huge number of significant deaths over a period of 10 months, people who had been key figures in my life; family members, mentors, teachers, and contemporaries: I stopped counting after we hit 20. I had taken on a full time job with a health centre I believed in and had worked for previously in a part time capacity, a job that I was very pleased to get, but one that shifted constantly.

Repeated viruses tanked my immune system. I stopped sleeping more than a couple of hours a night and awakened choking on mucus and flailing from nightmares. My muscles and joints hurt and I didn't digest food properly, leaving me with constant nausea and poor nutritional uptake. I fought to get up and just kept trying to push through each dizzying day, but ended up calling in sick more and more often. I became anxious and angry at myself for feeling so vulnerable: because anger is easier than admitting fear. It bothered me deeply that my wonderful office mate and our exceptional manager kept having to cover my ass and that clients, volunteers, and programs were left waiting. Even my teeth were crumbling. From clenching everything back into my throat and lungs. And my soul.

And then I stopped being able to think at all, or remember the simplest things.

I went numb in order to cope.

Blood work revealed that my vitamin D stores were 20% of what they needed to be. I tan easily and figured I was getting enough D from being outside a lot on our micro-farm. Nope. Symptoms of D deficiency include: joint pain and swelling, muscle weakness, tingling and numbing of hands and feet, cognitive issues, disturbed sleep architecture, extreme fatigue and cramping muscle spasms. My practitioner was smart enough to order the test based on a hunch, and she was bang-on. Suddenly a whole lot of seeming unconnected symptoms made perfect sense. Its a slow cumulative deficiency. I am now taking 5 times the daily recommended dose of D and it's starting to make a difference after only a couple of weeks. It's going to take time to get me where I need to go. I am still not sleeping and hence undergoing Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for chronic insomnia. Medications don't work for this, it's a matter of re-setting the sleep drive with careful steps over time, and knowing that it gets worse before it gets better.

But my brain remained in overwhelm drive.

In a flash of inspiration I called my therapist from decades ago, to see if by some chance she was still practising and would agree to see me on zoom, to teach me some better coping strategies. She is, and she does, thank heavens! She knows me and we can skip the preliminaries and get right into things. She also dovetails really well with my primary care practitioner and they tag team me. Together they added to the list of official diagnoses, Compassion Fatigue, which I'd only dimly heard of. I had not had time to grieve and process between the deaths of loved ones, so a cumulative effect swamped me into feeling nothing at all. I was offered the analogy of hitting my thumb with a hammer...the pain is so extreme that you don't even feel it at first because your body goes into protective mode until you can catch up. It was also pointed out to me that I'd put a great deal of my creative and caring energies into a successful practice over 27 years and having to let it go had taken a significant piece of my identity with it. I'd specialised in working with people for whom massage had been challenging: people with body dysmorphia due to illness, trauma, size, scars, age, etc. I missed them. I missed listening, easing seized and painful muscles, and supporting others as they became more comfortable with themselves through patience and practice, one gentle , non-judgemental step at a time.

Which I now need to do for myself. Irony of ironies.

I am at that age where elders and contemporaries are getting sick and dying, it's a statistical inevitability. But these rapidly disappearing loved ones were not acquaintances, they were all people who had impacted my life significantly and helped form the person I am still becoming. They represent to some degree my history and my story. Even now, I find myself picking up the phone to call or text, or composing an email, forwarding a joke, needing to ask a question or seek advice from someone who has moved on to whatever comes after the death of the body. I can put the phone down, but I can't remove their names from my contact lists. Reminders and triggers are everywhere. Rather than fight or deny them, I try to allow them to be part of the shifting kaleidoscope that contributes to my new normal. Growth means change, and some of that means loss. I grieve not just for myself but for the families and friends of those key people. Too many, too quickly.

I have the luxury of medically-endorsed time off. EI sick benefits are coming soon. I have been instructed to rest, eat simply, not think too hard, just allow thoughts and feelings to surface without judgement or analysis. To doodle freely and bypass expectations. That's not easy for a usually over-busy brain like mine. I have to take my vitamins, not push myself, not make any big decisions for a while. Thankfully, my Beloved also gets it, and is gently supportive, watching me slowly return to the person she has lovingly invested so much in. The stony, stoic flatness I experienced was unnerving for her too. My body remains exhausted and unpredictable, my short term memory and word-finding skills still suck and I have to remind myself that it's okay to not be okay. Having met a couple of people who have been through something like this, really helps me feel validated in the amount time it will take to become well again. Regarding my employment work situation, I have been reminded : "Its not your job to take care of them. It's theirs." Okay.

If I am fortunate, I will get another 25-30 years on the planet and I want to spend them well, especially since they seem to go so fast. The last thing I want to be fighting is myself. Managing perceived expectations versus the glorious sticky mess of human reality is a fool's game and can make a person sick. And it can all be gone in a heartbeat anyway, in spite of our best intentions. Savour it all.

Pay attention when your body speaks. Give your brain a break. Love yourself enough to be appreciative of all that you are, and forgive what you aren't. We are so much better at offering these axioms than living them. Learning the hard way is still learning.

[iambilliejeanok]

🌸✨Come Here✨🌸

Warnings: 18+, punishment, I’m not sure if this takes the number one spot for the worst fic I’ve written or number two.

They day was through. You were very happy to see your cozy little loft, kicking off your cozy slippers , not a care in the world to where they’d land, slipping your sore feet into your favourite house slippers. The house was spotless. Who cleaned? Unconsciously looking at the clock, you set your bag down, unpacking a few items while lost in thought.

What times is it? Oh wow it’s already seven…Nami will be here soon…I’m hungry, I need to cook.

After a lovely dinner by yourself, a nice hot shower and two chapters of your current read, you thought you’d hit the hay now. It was 9pm and Nanami wasn’t home yet. Your head began running in circles, asking yourself questions you didn’t want to have to ask.

Maybe I shouldn’t of left the house a mess today? naww he wouldn’t avoid you for messing up the place a little…I bet he was upset though lol.

The sound of the door opening made you jump. Nanami! You squealed, lifting your hands in the air and running downstairs to meet him. Placing his gym bag on the little table beside the door, he broke out into a tired smile, slowly kicking off his shoes, ridding his pockets of his car keys, phone and earphones.

He was about to turn around and open up his arms to catch you like he did every time he came back home, a familiar routine since you were always so happy to see him…even if he left for five minutes to get the mail, but he wasn’t expecting you to take him by surprise, pouncing on his back the minute he stood up right. He didn’t even budge, still rooted to the ground he stood on even though you pounced on him at full speed. You certainly were not small, no where near tiny, but because he’d gotten so used to your surprise attacks, he naturally grew accustomed to your body on his.

“Hey baby”, he softly chuckled, gripping each of your thighs and shifting you high a bit so he could piggyback you upstairs. It was far too late for him to play around with you tonight. He was so exhausted from such an intense workout with Gojo and Itadori that all he needed was sleep…maybe a little love from you too. Nothing crazy.

“I missed you Nami!”, you said directly in his ear, planting kisses all over the back of his neck, deeply inhaling his after shower scent, reveling in your favourite scent. Delicious. He always thought you were weird for that constantly sniffing him, but he told himself he will always love you no matter how crazy you got. “Yeah baby I missed you too, relax”, his voice carrying the obvious fatigue from such a long day, giving your thighs a firm squeeze so you’d stop swinging your feet. How do you still have so much energy? “Yes! To the bedroom baby!”, you said, Nanami almost at the top of the stairs, rolling his eyes at your little joke.

“How was your d-ahhh!”, you squealed, Nanami gently flipping you over his shoulder and slamming you onto the soft bed. “It was long baby…and tiring”, he replied, falling face first into the covers right next to you. “Aw okay…is there any way I can be of service to my wonderful hubby…dinner prehaps?”, you casually reply, kicking your feet in the air, your hand buried in his hair, nearly putting him to sleep before he remembered something.

“No wait…I’d actually like to have a little chat with you”, he said, your heart skipping a beat. “Yes Nami?”, you innocently asked, only further annoying him. “What did I tell you to do last night before bed?”, he asked, grabbing your thighs and bringing them together, pushing them down until your knees met your torso, the back of your thighs held down by his single arm.

You instantly remembered you didn’t have any pants on, just you, one of Nanami’s shirts because, why not and a pair of pretty, black and red bloomers that held Nanami though you looked very cute in. He found you very attractive when you weren’t really trying…but was still taken aback everytime you did dress up.

You felt his fingers slip passed the band behind you. “Nanami?”, confused, you playfully smacked his arm away and to your surprise, he return that smack right in your ass…a little less playful than yours. “Hey, wha-“, “Are you gonna answer me?”, he cut you off, smacking your thigh now, quickly working your undies off of you.

“What!?”, you whined, earning you another smack right on the same thigh. Fuck. What’s going on rn?

“I’ll only repeat myself for another two smacks?”, he said and you quickly answered him. “Okayyy! Remember I had that brunch with the girls?”, you shyly responded, only earning yourself another smack. It was like each one was getting more and more intense. You were surprised he still had all this energy…he was obviously lying about his fatigue if he still wanted to punish you.

“And what does that have to do with anything darling?”, he said, furrowing his eyebrows when he felt he had to put more effort into holding you down. He surely didn’t have the patience to deal with any squirming tonight. He simply wanted to address the issue and jump right into cuddles.

“I was running late”, you pouted, another smack even harder than all the previous ones meeting your ass. “Yet you slept in?”, he argued, another smack making you whine from deep in your throat, attempting to scoot away from him. “Come here”, he said, a big hand wrapping around your ankle and pulling you back to him before dragging you to end of the bed as he climbed off, your ass bare ad ready for him to treat. He needed to release some stress from the day away anyhow.

You were certainly not expecting the sudden onslaught of smacks all over your ass, your hands coming up to defend your precious ass when you began to feel raw, but his hands caught both of yours, pinning them down to your back, smacking you even harder, your deep brown cheeks quickly turning light reddish, welts the size of his hand forming and god did he love the sight. “Nanami!!! I’m sorry! Please daddy!”, you cried out, attempting and failing to crawl away, leaving you with no where to run. “Keep apologizing, I’m not done”, he spoke loud and clear, your punishment unceasing and his hand now red and swollen from smacking you so hard.

Five minutes later, tears staining your cheeks and having wet the bed, your ass was extremely sore and so was Nanamis hand. He left you laying there, in that same position, all by yourself, walking off to the stairs. Unable to move, you buried your face into the covers, balling your eyes out over the punishment you just received. To your pleasant surprise, you felt a very cold something being spread over your ass, gripping the sheets and biting your lip at the feel of Nanamis hands making contact with the raw parts, the cold thing he was spreading over you instantly cooling the burning of the welts.

Did he feel bad? Not for punishing you, but he didn’t like seeing you cry like this, carefully scooping you up and laying down with you ontop of him. Burying your face into his neck, you felt him put something over your ass, a bag of ice, instantly easing your pain and his.

The next ten minutes involved him hushing you, rubbing your back, saying the sweeting things to you yet scolding you too. “I know darling, the pain will be gone in the morning…I’m just very upset with you, you don’t listen to me baby. Don’t make such a big mess if you don’t want to clean it up next time…but I love you sweetheart, you know I love you”

He knows he’s getting the silent treatment from you all night long, maybe even tomorrow morning too. He’s still going to pamper you like a princess, no matter how long you ignore him. Your punishment was well deserved and he could tell you weren’t going to do that on purpose again. You hate to admit it but he knows, you want cuddles and extra love and attention after that. And he’s got it all in bulk and more.

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