#trying to limit that negative outlook to just today

[daydreamdoodles]

Yk. today was really shitty. Maybe tomorrow I will find it in me to see the good of it. But rn. Terrible no good bad day

[lemonwood31]

Thinking today about Halsin’s ending, and the reasons why I don’t find it to be an uncomplicatedly happy one.

There are two primary needs I think the ending is attempting to fulfil for him: the first is his need to feel like he’s doing something to help people, and specifically children, and his related desire for a family. The second is his need for a community that isn’t like the community at the Grove, a community where he can be himself without all the leadership and hierarchy that the Grove entailed. I think the fulfilment of both these needs is complicated by the fact that despite his longing for, and idealistic outlook towards, family and community, he actually has quite an individualistic mindset.

Now, I know that in the epilogue party, if you haven’t gone with him and he tells you about his community, he makes it sound like everything’s perfect and harmonious, ‘a true home for all’, ‘nature and civilisation are in harmony’, etc. Problem with that is that I don’t believe him. Or to be more precise, even if it’s like that now, I don’t think it’s going to be all that easy to maintain into the future, particularly since the community seems like a fairly large one (and he says it’s growing).

I don’t think anyone’s going to argue with me that Halsin’s sense of personal responsibility is very strong, or that he has a tendency to take too much on himself. I find it really significant that the creation of his community is such a clear expression of his natural instinct to go it alone, to take all the responsibility on his own shoulders. Even though he clearly finds like-minded adults to join him, the initial plan is one he comes up with by himself and he doesn’t share it with you, his by-now closest confidante and friend/lover, until it’s already a fait accompli. And, of course, his default assumption is that you’re not going to come with him. This of course has a lot to say about his sense of responsibility and how difficult he finds it to believe he’s worthy of love and commitment; it’s not that I don’t understand it. But I can’t help but think it’s a bad start for building the kind of community that isn’t dependent on him.

His tendency – which I would argue is a fundamentally individualistic one – to feel like he has to take primary responsibility for the problems he’s trying to solve, to frame actions as ‘something I must to do to make things right’ instead of ‘something the community is doing to solve a shared problem’, is going to have negative effects, I think, on both of the primary needs his ending is fulfilling.

Take the first need, to help children, to create a family. He clearly sees the ‘nine wagonloads of children’ as his family, and himself as their father. It’s not clear to me the extent to which he sees the other adults in the community as parental figures also; presumably they are to some extent (nine wagonloads!), but I do think he thinks of himself as the primary if not the only parent. He worries about leaving the children for a single night. That’s understandable, sure, but it also says to me that he’s taking a lot of the work of caring for the children’s emotional needs on himself, and sees himself as fundamental to their emotional wellbeing. He’s not acting like one adult in a collective who has a special and close bond with the children, but who is working in partnership with other adults who are equally close to and trustworthy with the children. He’s acting like a primary parent leaving his children with babysitters for the night.

And that, in my opinion, is not good. You cannot be an adequate parent to that many children (nine. wagonloads!) on your own. There is a limit to the amount of emotional support and individual time and attention that one parent can provide. He needs to rely on his community to provide emotional support and attention and just basic parenting to the children. He needs to see this as a joint, collective, community effort that doesn’t look like a nuclear family with way more children than usual; one that operates fundamentally differently to the way a traditional family would. And I worry that he’s not doing any of that, and that it’s not healthy for either him or the children.

Then looking at the second need, to create a community that isn’t dependent on him as a leader or, for that matter, on any kind of formal leadership structure or social hierarchy. One that isn’t subject to the power dynamics and politicking that the Grove was. The problem there is that I think it’s going to be way too easy for him to end up repeating his mistakes instead of rectifying them.

Building communities is hard. Building communities that are based on a non-hierarchical structure is even harder. Obviously this community isn’t based on a formal hierarchy like the Grove was, but power struggles and politicking have a tendency to creep in no matter what you do: they’re so ingrained in human nature.

Ultimately, in order to create the kind of community that I think is a real counterpoint to the Grove, a community that isn’t dependent on a leader, that’s based on shared values of caring for each other rather than a hierarchy, in which its members work alongside each other and make decisions jointly, you have to do the work to make it work like that. And that work is fundamentally systemic. You can’t just found the community on a well-meaning desire to rebuild Reithwin and care for orphans and refugees and then hope it all works out. You have to have both the self-awareness and the systemic understanding to spot the ways in which the community is falling into old patterns or bad habits and, much harder, find ways to break out of those patterns and habits. And that takes hard and constant effort.

As much as I love Halsin, I don’t think he’s a systemic thinker. As I said, I think he tends to approach problems as  ‘what do I need to do to make this right’, not ‘what does the community need in order to function better as a community’. I think that starting off his commune by himself, based on his own idea of what’s needed, poses a strong risk that the resulting community will be founded on Halsin and Halsin’s dream rather than on an equal collective with a shared set of values, and that despite his best efforts, it will end up being all on his shoulders again in a way that doesn’t look exactly like the Grove, but which repeats some of the patterns that he was trying to escape.

And now I have come to the end of my argument I realise that I don’t have a feel-good way of ending it. Uh. Someone maybe want to write a fanfiction about the dynamic between Halsin and a systems-thinker Tav who keeps having to yell at him for accidentally being his own worst enemy?

[nalyra-dreaming]

People complaining about the 10 seasons.. what if they're doing 2 seasons per year or splitting the season in 2 parts, airing in the same year? It's not necessarily 10 years...

Hey nonny,

in a world with so many shows regularly canceled after 2 seasons... to have that outlook at least (there's no guarantee, obviously, but the plans?!)... that's so precious?! Imho.

I actually am quite... sad I think to see so many people finding negative aspects to this. (And I have run across a few now...)

And no, there's no guarantee either they'll do it in "years"... honestly, for me, I don't particularly care for how they do it. :) The seasons are so short...

But character development and meaningful stories usually happen best when actors have found their footing... remember those Star Trek (TNG, DS9, VOY) seasons? The best were always season 4 onwards (imho), because that was when the characters where set up, and you could get into stories. (Obviously there's exceptions to the rule^^). Or Stargate, esp. Lost City.

Now, we are extremely blessed with a cast like this... but just imagine how they'll be able to play off each other when the characters have been fully established? When we get to the grit of it? The philosophical and ethical questions that lie beyond the action? Season 1 has already shown that they don't shy away from the difficult questions, if you want to see them as well done or not is not really relevant here, imho, because... at least they do go there? IWTV is no colorblind, soft-washed fantasy adaption. No, this is way more, and it is aware of that. Awareness, such a two-edged sword, and I love that they are trying their hand at it, even if they might bleed. And that they plan for the long run. Please give us Akasha's ... problematic idea and the resulting discussion. Please give us the question of whether we would actually accept a limitation of our life and standards if that would mean to receive salvation (an interesting parallel right there, to today, and our world, don't you think?). Please give us those complicated relationships and bring up all the questions in regards to morality and death and religion and acceptance.

Whether they take 5 seasons, or 10... I won't care.

I won't care either if you can see the lines on the actor's faces then.

What did Louis say? Let the tale seduce you.

It's a play. A tale. For us.

I'm gonna enjoy it.

[mrthoughtbubbles]

Hi Yeet,

How are you? Today, I don’t have a lot of things to share with you… I listened to a lot of songs that interest me, and I researched/did my homework about the difference between limited partnerships and limited liability partnerships, and the difference between C corporation and S corporation.  I understand that it isn’t much, but taking a few steps towards learning the things I want to learn is better than not taking any step at all, right…?

Whilst in the process of going on in my day, Yeet, I’ve been contemplating about my thoughts and my feelings… When things are quiet and peaceful, my paranoia is telling me that something bad will happen, that I need to expect the worst-case scenario, that there, surely, will happen at any moment, which leads to my anxiety shooting up and makes me worried about what bad thing will happen to me this time around, like fearing you’ll leave or expecting that I’ll get shouted at… Based on what I shared with you, one can infer that I’ve been jumpy and expecting the worst for quite some time now, and it’s now what’s normal to me… With that being said, I feel that I need to be comfortable first with my paranoid bouts by thinking that I’m talking to it, like a separate personality of mine, before countering it with positive thoughts, like trying to think of things that I’m grateful for, things that are positive, annoying people and making them happy and laugh, appreciating the sun, the rain and the moon, etc… I just hope that I’m getting better, even if I feel that I’m not recuperating…

I’ll end my message for you here for tonight, Yeet. I hope that by changing my approach, I’ll recover more than when I try to focus on countering my negative thoughts with positive ones… I hope that your day went well, found something that gave you a positive outlook, something that made you laugh, something that made you grateful, something that made you feel that you’re loved, and something that made you giddy sharing it with God. Good night, take care of yourself, especially your knee, express your love to everyone around you through words and actions, love yourself and remember that you’re beautiful even if you have flaws/insecurities, pray/talk to God, and remember that I love you, Yeet!

[allgoodquotesblog]

How to Overcome Failure

It's normal to feel disappointed and upset after failing to reach a goal, no matter how big or small, but it's not helpful to keep thinking about the past. Today, too many people put too much effort into avoiding failure, which only makes their life more challenging. You mistake, experience setback, or you just fall short. It's boring. But unless you refrain from doing anything at all, you can't prevent it either. It is therefore necessary to respond to such circumstances in a wise and self-kind manner rather than allowing them to trigger savage self-punishment and pull you down into negativity for the day or the month.

How to Overcome Failure Today, we'll go over nine of the best strategies for getting over failure's pain so you can turn your attention to going on with your life.

1. Simply accept your feelings at first.

It will probably hurt when you just failed. An occasional little. occasionally a lot. Processing what has happened will go more quickly and ultimately be less painful if you let it in and accept it. If you suppress your feelings, later on they will reappear at inconvenient moments and may make you moody, pessimistic, angry, or sad.

2. Keep in mind: simply because you experienced a setback, you are not a failure.

It's simple to begin believing that YOU are a failure. Avoid falling to such a damaging and occasionally alluring self-fulfilling prophecy. The secret to maintaining a positive outlook and moving forward in life is to see what's bad as a passing occurrence rather than as something permanent.

3. Use this experience to your advantage and grow.

Consider it less as a major setback and more as helpful criticism that you may use to advance. Starting to view the problem from this angle and taking positive action are more crucial than remaining trapped in negativity, denial, or apathy.

4. Analyze yourself.

Many people experience discouragement after failing, but many others use failures as a chance to better themselves. Do you fit anywhere? What errors have you committed? What do you need to improve? You can use the knowledge you receive from exploring yourself and learning about yourself to succeed by using your setbacks as opportunities to learn important life lessons.

5. Allow it to be exposed to light.

By discussing the topic with someone else, you can see it from their point of view and through their eyes. This person can inspire you, help you get back on solid ground, and maybe even show you how to move forward.

6. Draw strength and inspiration from your surroundings.

Talking to someone close to you might be quite beneficial. You can also take advice from people who have already travelled in the direction you desire to go. In books, on blogs, or in online forums, read about how they managed obstacles and low periods prior to or during their accomplishment.

7. Continue to Look Forward

Avoid spending too much time dwelling on what went wrong. It won't help you to keep thinking about the same thing over and over. While reviewing previous mistakes is vital, making plans for the future and moving on are even more crucial.

8. Draw Strength from Mistakes that Lead to Success

There are several examples in history of men and women who, despite having failed at some point in their life, went on to achieve great success in their respective fields. These individuals all shared the trait of not letting failures deter them from exploring and trying out novel things. It can be quite motivating to learn about these people's prior setbacks and how they overcame them in order to inspire you to overcome your own limitations.

9. Raise your self-esteem.

Self-esteem is a crucial foundation for many things, including our self-worth, sense of self-confidence, and how we view ourselves in relation to others. Over time, low self-esteem might set in, but you can raise it again by altering your negative self-talk and self-perception. Read the full article

[route22ny]

By CALVIN WOODWARD, ELLEN KNICKMEYER and DAVID RISING

September 10, 2021 GMT

In the ghastly rubble of ground zero’s fallen towers 20 years ago, Hour Zero arrived, a chance to start anew.

World affairs reordered abruptly on that morning of blue skies, black ash, fire and death.

In Iran, chants of “death to America” quickly gave way to candlelight vigils to mourn the American dead. Vladimir Putin weighed in with substantive help as the U.S. prepared to go to war in Russia’s region of influence.

Libya’s Moammar Gadhafi, a murderous dictator with a poetic streak, spoke of the “human duty” to be with Americans after “these horrifying and awesome events, which are bound to awaken human conscience.”

From the first terrible moments, America’s longstanding allies were joined by longtime enemies in that singularly galvanizing instant. No nation with global standing was cheering the stateless terrorists vowing to conquer capitalism and democracy. How rare is that?

Too rare to last, it turned out.

___

Civilizations have their allegories for rebirth in times of devastation. A global favorite is that of the phoenix, a magical and magnificent bird, rising from ashes. In the hellscape of Germany at the end of World War II, it was the concept of Hour Zero, or Stunde Null, that offered the opportunity to start anew.

For the U.S., the zero hour of Sept. 11, 2001, meant a chance to reshape its place in the post-Cold War world from a high perch of influence and goodwill as it entered the new millennium. This was only a decade after the collapse of the Soviet Union left America with both the moral authority and the financial and military muscle to be unquestionably the lone superpower.

Those advantages were soon squandered. Instead of a new order, 9/11 fueled 20 years of war abroad. In the U.S., it gave rise to the angry, aggrieved, self-proclaimed patriot, and heightened surveillance and suspicion in the name of common defense.

It opened an era of deference to the armed forces as lawmakers pulled back on oversight and let presidents give primacy to the military over law enforcement in the fight against terrorism. And it sparked anti-immigrant sentiment, primarily directed at Muslim countries, that lingers today.

A war of necessity — in the eyes of most of the world — in Afghanistan was followed two years later by a war of choice as the U.S. invaded Iraq on false claims that Saddam Hussein was hiding weapons of mass destruction. President George W. Bush labeled Iran, Iraq and North Korea an “axis of evil.”

Thus opened the deep, deadly mineshaft of “forever wars.” There were convulsions throughout the Middle East, and U.S. foreign policy — for half a century a force for ballast — instead gave way to a head-snapping change in approaches in foreign policy from Bush to Obama to Trump. With that came waning trust in America’s leadership and reliability.

Other parts of the world were not immune. Far-right populist movements coursed through Europe. Britain voted to break away from the European Union. And China steadily ascended in the global pecking order.

President Joe Biden is trying to restore trust in the belief of a steady hand from the U.S. but there is no easy path. He is ending war, but what comes next?

In Afghanistan in August, the Taliban seized control with menacing swiftness as the Afghan government and security forces that the United States and its allies had spent two decades trying to build collapsed. No steady hand was evident from the U.S. in the harried, disorganized evacuation of Afghans desperately trying to flee the country in the first weeks of the Taliban’s re-established rule.

Allies whose troops had fought and died in the U.S-led war in Afghanistan expressed dismay at Biden’s management of the U.S. withdrawal, under a deal President Donald Trump had struck with the Taliban.

THE ‘HOMELAND’

In the United States, the Sept. 11 attacks set loose a torrent of rage.

In shock from the assault, a swath of American society embraced the us vs. them binary outlook articulated by Bush — “Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists” — and has never let go of it.

You could hear it in the country songs and talk radio, and during presidential campaigns, offering the balm of a bloodlust cry for revenge. “We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way,” Toby Keith promised America’s enemies in one of the most popular of those songs in 2002.

Americans stuck flags in yards and on the back of trucks. Factionalism hardened inside America, in school board fights, on Facebook posts, and in national politics, so that opposing views were treated as propaganda from mortal enemies. The concept of enemy also evolved, from not simply the terrorist but also to the immigrant, or the conflation of the terrorist as immigrant trying to cross the border.

The patriot under threat became a personal and political identity in the United States. Fifteen years later, Trump harnessed it to help him win the presidency.

THE OTHERING

In the week after the attacks, Bush demanded of Americans that they know “Islam is peace” and that the attacks were a perversion of that religion. He told the country that American Muslims are us, not them, even as mosques came under surveillance and Arabs coming to the U.S. to take their kids to Disneyland or go to school risked being detained for questioning.

For Trump, in contrast, everything was always about them, the outsiders.

In the birther lie Trump promoted before his presidency, Barack Obama was an outsider. In Trump’s campaigns and administration, Muslims and immigrants were outsiders. The “China virus” was a foreign interloper, too.

Overseas, deadly attacks by Islamic extremists, like the 2004 bombing of Madrid trains that killed nearly 200 people and the 2005 attack on London’s transportation system that killed more than 50, hardened attitudes in Europe as well.

By 2015, as the Islamic State group captured wide areas of Iraq and pushed deep into Syria, the number of refugees increased dramatically, with more than 1 million migrants, primarily from Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq, entering Europe that year alone.

The year was bracketed by attacks in France on the Charlie Hebdo magazine staff in January after it published cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad, and on the Bataclan theater and other Paris locations in November, reinforcing the angst then gripping the continent.

Already growing in support, far-right parties were able to capitalize on the fears to establish themselves as part of the European mainstream. They remain represented in many European parliaments, even as the flow of immigrants has slowed dramatically and most concerns have proved unfounded.

THE UNRAVELING

Dozens of countries joined or endorsed the NATO coalition fighting in Afghanistan. Russia acquiesced to NATO troops in Central Asia for the first time and provided logistical support. Never before had NATO invoked Article 5 of its charter that an attack against one member was an attack against all.

But in 2003, the U.S. and Britain were practically alone in prosecuting the Iraq war. This time, millions worldwide marched in protest in the run-up to the invasion. World opinion of the United States turned sharply negative.

In June 2003, after the invasion had swiftly ousted Saddam and dismantled the Iraqi army and security forces, a Pew Research poll found a widening rift between Americans and Western Europeans and reported that “the bottom has fallen out of support for America in most of the Muslim world.” Most South Koreans, half of Brazilians and plenty more people outside the Islamic world agreed.

And this was when the war was going well, before the world saw cruel images from Abu Ghraib prison, learned all that it knows now about CIA black op sites, waterboarding, years of Guantanamo Bay detention without charges or trials — and before the rise of the brutal Islamic State.

By 2007, when the U.S. set up the Africa Command to counter terrorism and the rising influence of China and Russia on the continent, African countries did not want to host it. It operates from Stuttgart, Germany.

THE SUCCESSES

Over the two decades, a succession of U.S. presidents scored important achievements in shoring up security, and so far U.S. territory has remained safe from more international terrorism anywhere on the scale of 9/11.

Globally, U.S.-led forces weakened al-Qaida, which has failed to launch a major attack on the West since 2005. The Iraq invasion rid that country and region of a murderous dictator in Saddam.

Yet strategically, eliminating him did just what Arab leaders warned Bush it would do: It strengthened Saddam’s main rival, Iran, threatening U.S. objectives and partners.

Deadly chaos soon followed in Iraq. The Bush administration, in its nation-building haste, failed to plan for keeping order, leaving Islamist extremists and rival militias to fight for dominance in the security vacuum.

The overthrow of Saddam served both to inspire and limit public support for Arab Spring uprisings a few years later. For if the U.S. showed people in the Middle East that strongmen can be toppled, the insurgency demonstrated that what comes next may not be a season of renewal.

Authoritarian regimes in the Middle East pointed to the post-Saddam era as an argument for their own survival.

The U.S.-led wars in Afghanistan and Iraq killed more than 7,000 American military men and women, more than 1,000 from the allied forces, many tens of thousands of members of Afghan and Iraqi security forces, and many hundreds of thousands of civilians, according to Brown University’s Costs of War project. Costs, including tending the wars’ unusually high number of disabled vets, are expected to top $6 trillion.

For the U.S., the presidencies since Bush’s wars have been marked by an effort — not always consistent, not always successful — to pull back the military from the conflicts of the Middle East and Central Asia.

The perception of a U.S. retreat has allowed Russia and China to gain influence in the regions, and left U.S. allies struggling to understand Washington’s place in the world. The notion that 9/11 would create an enduring unity of interest to combat terrorism collided with rising nationalism and a U.S. president, Trump, who spoke disdainfully of the NATO allies that in 2001 had rallied to America’s cause.

Even before Trump, Obama surprised allies and enemies alike when he stepped back abruptly from the U.S. role of world cop. Obama geared up for, then called off, a strike on Syrian President Bashar Assad for using chemical weapons against his people.

“Terrible things happen across the globe, and it is beyond our means to right every wrong,” Obama said on Sept. 11, 2013.

THE NEWISH ORDER

The legacies of 9/11 ripple both in obvious and unusual ways.

Most directly, millions of people in the U.S. and Europe go about their public business under the constant gaze of security cameras while other surveillance tools scoop up private communications. The government layered post-9/11 bureaucracies on to law enforcement to support the expansive security apparatus.

Militarization is more evident now, from large cities to small towns that now own military vehicles and weapons that seem well out of proportion to any terrorist threat. Government offices have become fortifications and airports a security maze.

But as profound an event as 9/11 was, its immediate effect on how the world has been ordered was temporary and largely undone by domestic political forces, a global economic downturn and now a lethal pandemic.

The awakening of human conscience predicted by Gadhafi didn’t last. Gadhafi didn’t last.

Osama bin Laden has been dead for a decade. Saddam was hanged in 2006. The forever wars — the Afghanistan one being the longest in U.S. history — now are over or ending. The days of Russia tactically enabling the U.S., and China not standing in the way, petered out. Only the phoenix lasts.

___

Rising reported from Bangkok; Knickmeyer and Woodward from Washington. AP National Security Writer Robert Burns contributed to this report.

https://apnews.com/article/911-20-years-world-affairs-cc497f11743fcbd48b0b3e0c3ed2da5f

[delimeful]

(don’t) take this the wrong way (3)

sequel to underwater & blood | ao3 link

warnings: blood mention, hypnosis/mind-altering mention, fear, miscommunication, bad assumptions made while stressed

-

Virgil hurriedly propelled himself through the wide tunnels of the underwater cave system, all of his nerves screaming. Every time he turned a corner, he expected the two giant mers to be on the other side, sharp teeth and cage-like hands at the ready.

It didn’t help matters that he was already weighed down by an entire human dragging along behind him. He cast a glance over his shoulder, where Logan was clutching at his spectacles with one hand and desperately hanging onto Virgil’s wrist with the other. Good thing humans didn't have claws, or Virgil would be spilling even more blood all over the place than he already was.

A fresh current brushed past him, and he took the next turn sharply, just barely not grazing the rough tunnel walls. There! He could see an exit, the bright blue of the open ocean just beyond it.

Halfway there, Logan’s grip on his hand turned painful, the bones in his wrist creaking under the pressure.

“What?” he snapped, despite knowing that the human couldn’t understand his irritable clicks.

When he turned, however, the problem was obvious: the human was out of air, bubbles leaking from his nose and mouth.

Virgil bit his lip and wasted a moment looking between Logan’s purpling face and his gateway to freedom. His instincts knew what the smart thing to do was, but he couldn’t stop remembering the way the human had given him space, spoke politely, kept him calm in the face of overwhelming terror.

“Oh, fine, fine!” he finally groaned, swearing profusely as he found the nearest upward crevice and dragged the both of them into it.

The moment they breached the surface, Logan was spluttering and gasping, halfway to choking on his own spit. Virgil shoved him up onto the nearest ledge and hurriedly pulled himself up after, the phantom feeling of giant hands grasping at him enough to make him want to vacate the water entirely.

Unfortunately, he’d massively overestimated the size of the rock shelf, and ended up flopped over the wheezing human from head to fin.

Whoops.

---

“Wh-- What--?” Logan attempted to dislodge the mermaid sprawled on top of him, and then stilled as Virgil hissed at him from close range, those rows of teeth only inches from his neck.

It was just one thing after another, today. He tried to steady his breathing, and after a moment, regained his composure. “Seeing as this is a limited space and sharks are quite sensitive to blood, I would advise against trying to consume me at this juncture.”

Virgil pushed himself up further, enough that their faces weren’t inches apart, and now Logan could properly see his disgusted expression. “What? Ew, gross, no. If I cared that little about your life, I would have just let you drown back there.”

“Oh.” Logan coughed awkwardly, his cheeks a bit hot. “In that case, why tackle and pin me?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to keep out of the water so we don’t get noticed, numbskull. Do you see any more room on this little ledge?”

It was true; there wasn’t much space in the fissure. At least some light made it down from above, illuminating their current position. Logan frowned thoughtfully.

“Hm, if you’ll allow me to adjust…”

With a significant bit of shifting around and a few more hisses from Virgil about ‘manhandling’, Logan managed to get upright, with his legs crossed in the lotus position. Virgil was sitting up as well, though half of his tail had to curl over Logan’s lap.

“Much better,” Logan said, satisfied. Virgil still looked a bit green around the gills from watching Logan bend his knees. “I suppose this is as opportune a time as any to thank you for saving my life.”

Logan had kind of hoped the mermaid would be too nauseous to pay attention, but to no avail. Virgil’s ear fins twitched strangely, and he lifted his head to look at Logan with something like surprise.

Seemed as though he had to elaborate. Ugh, feelings. “From my observations, you could have left me and made your escape much faster. It would have been pragmatic of you, but I appreciate that you didn’t. Unfortunately, now we’re both trapped here, with no idea when or if those giants lurk nearby. So you have my thanks and my apologies.”

Virgil made a strange trill-click, his expression amused. “Don’t apologize for me saving your life, dumbass. You had no say in the matter. Anyways, at least when I die, it’ll be in the company of a ballsy human.”

“If you die,” Logan corrected the cognitive distortion automatically. “Remember, there’s still options available that could lead us to freedom. Though… I’m unsure how far out in the ocean the siren carried me. It’s entirely possible that I will run out of stamina and drown before I reach land.”

“Listen, if we get out of this alive, I’ll tow you to a beach myself,” Virgil replied with a snort. “Sorry man, but once they find their snacks have vanished, they’re going to be out for blood.”  

“You seem to have quite a negative outlook on our chances.” Logan watched as the purple caudal fin flicked back and forth absently. “Are they truly that devoted to devouring us?”

“I mean... I dunno how much, I’m not a mind reader. I just try not to make a habit of pissing off anything big enough to eat me in one bite,” Virgil snarked back. “It’s how I’m still alive. If there’s one thing I’m sure about, it’s that there’s no way they would just let us go.”

---

Patton and Roman stared at the cave shelf in stunned silence.

Where before there had been a human and a tiny mer, there was now only a splotchy puddle of blood and the remnants of a fishing net scattered about.

“Oh dear,” Patton said, looking down at the kelp bandages he’d retrieved.

Roman dropped his sword and ran his hands through his hair, shocked. “Why in the sea did they vanish like that? What about sharks? What about the human?!”

“Oh dear,” Patton said again, remembering how far out they were from the little guy’s home. “Why would they leave? I didn’t think the human could swim far enough or long enough to get out of this cave system!”

Roman frowned, squinting at a sharp tooth he’d found among the shredded net. “... Maybe he couldn’t. The little mer— he couldn’t hurt us, obviously, but— the human is so small, and he growled at him, remember? What if—?”

The shark mer was looking more horrified by the minute, and Patton set a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, Ro. How about I try and call for the human? If he hears it, I’ll know.”

Roman nodded quickly, and Patton took a deep breath before letting the magic coiled inside him rise up, lace itself through his voice in the ringing tones that the human had best responded to back on the beach.

In the distance, there was a jerk of surprise-recognition-fear as his song reached the ears of the human, and Patton grimaced at the feeling that curled along the siren bond. He tried to soothe the terror, coaxing the human back towards the water with promises that he wouldn’t be hurt, that they were just there to help and get him home.

After a few moments, the human succumbed to his magic, letting go of his resistance with something like resignation. Patton bit his lip briefly but didn't stop, waiting for the moment he would hit the water and reveal his whereabouts to Patton.

It never came.

Patton blinked, surprised, but the human continued to stay in place, despite struggling to reach the song’s source. Was he being… restrained?

He broke the song off after another few moments with no movement, quickly reassuring Roman that the human was still alive, and not hurt.

“I think he’s being held in place though,” he added, and Roman’s expression darkened. “I can get close, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to pinpoint the exact place. In tunnels like these, it could be anywhere.”

“The small mer was bleeding, remember?” Roman replied, tail swishing in agitation. “If I can catch the scent, I can get us the rest of the way there. Let’s go.”

[monstersandmaw]

Evening to ya, Ghosti✌️😆

Sorry if the wording sounds silly, but I wanted to ask if you know any rituals I could do for the New Years. 🤣 Christmas hasn't been exactly an easy time for me for various reasons and I tend to get the holiday blues pretty bad, and for a long old while New Years has felt very similar. I'm doing my best to feel hopeful and to have some faith for the new year, but it's turning out to be trickier than I anticipated. So I wanted to ask for suggestions as to do anything that could help feeling more hopeful, I dunno. :3

Though feel free to ignore this if you don't have the energy for it. I hope you had delightful holiday however you celebrated!!! 😊💖💖💖💖

Hey anon! (it’s now afternoon here in the UK, and it was morning when I started this! I got a bit carried away). I don’t know that I’m necessarily the right person to ask about this, but here are some ideas of things I’ve found helpful/centring/calming anyway which you could draw from. Other folks, please feel free to chime in with your favourite ways to put the old year to bed and welcome in the new one!

(first of all, I’m sending you lots of virtual ghostli hugs to help drive away those holiday blues. That sucks, and I’m so sorry it’s been so tough for you.)

Here’s a rundown of what’s below, and I’ll put in a ‘keep reading’ so that it’s not an incredibly long post! Some of it is more on the ‘spiritutal’ side of things, and others are just mundane and practical things.

Congratulate yourself on making it through the clusterfuck that was 2020

Make some tea and meditate on what’s been and what you wish for

Go outside, be still, and breathe deeply

Let go of negative events and thoughts by writing them down, then safely burning the paper

Disconnect from social media for a few days (or however long you’re comfortable with)

Start a bullet journal

Write lists of goals for 2021 and then refine/distill them down to 3 manageable objectives

Commit 100% to 6 months of positive change

Pick three dates/months in the year when good things will happen, and make them happen (including growing veg/fruit)

Light a candle on the full moon or New Year

Ok, so, first of all, you’ve made it through this year!! That’s no small accomplishment, given the sheer volume of absolute shite that has been flung at us from all angles, no matter where in the world you live. Celebrate that. Seriously, I’m not being flippant. Take a moment of stillness wherever you are, be ‘present’, and just think about the fact that you’re here, right now, reading this post. Not everyone is here any more for one reason or another, but you did it. Congratulate yourself and celebrate that. Treat yourself to a slice of cake (or something you really enjoy) specifically to celebrate making it through 2020.

Make a cup of tea (try a new blend or recipe perhaps, or stick with your absolute favourite), or make a comforting drink of your choice. As you pour the water into the cup, breathe in the steam and enjoy the scent of it. Try and imbue all the positive things - memories, achievements, moments etc. - that you encountered this year into the tea/drink, and think about them growing in strength as the tea steeps, and envisage them continuing on to next year too. When you drink the tea, you take the positive thoughts into yourself and they become a part of you. You could try it in the morning with a caffeinated drink (if you enjoy those) and let it fuel you for the day, or you could try a herbal tea at night to let the good vibes steep overnight while you rest. Make it part of your daily routine; a private meditation.

Go outside and find a quiet spot somewhere and either stand or sit and just soak up the atmosphere. If there’s a tree nearby, think about the way its roots are planted in the earth, its trunk stands tall, and its branches reach towards the sky. Feel that space inside you. Breathe deeply in and out, visualising your lungs filling to the deepest parts, starting at the bottom. Count to four for each inhale, and six out (or whatever you’re comfortable with, so long as the exhale is longer than the inhale). This will help to still you and calm you.

If you have something fireproof (can just be a ceramic bowl), take a piece of paper and make a moment to write down all the negative things about this year, using a pen that you’re comfortable with. If you’re not one for words, draw pictures. You can make it really beautiful or just scribble it all down - it doesn’t matter. Get that shit out. Look at it for a while and read it through, mentally letting go of each thing as your eyes pass over it, then light one corner (carefully!!!) and let it burn somewhere with good ventilation (a cooker hood is good for that, but outside is better). Visualise all that negativity being swallowed by the universe and let it go. My favourite line from the Seamus Heaney translation of Beowulf comes at Beowulf’s funeral when a Geat woman is singing her grief at his passing to the sky, and there’s the simple sentence: “Heaven swallowed the smoke.” How beautiful is that? The sky swallowed up her grief as she poured it out to the universe. The negativity might take some time to vanish from your life (it’s not going to disappear at the same time as the paper, sadly!), but watching it go can be the first stage of letting things go. I did this last year, and I’m only just letting go of the last things on that list, but it was a start, and it made me feel more at peace. 

Disconnect from social media. I know that with so much more happening online this year out of necessity, we’ve become even more dependant on our phones and computers, and it’s wonderful that we have this chance to connect with people when we can’t see them face to face, but social media can also act as a crucible for negative feelings. People usually post the best or the worst aspects of what’s going on for them or what they care about, so it leads to a skewed view of both the world and of what’s going on amongst our connections. It’s easy to start feeling insignificant next to someone else because of their achievements or their looks etc. and it’s also easy to start to get a bleak outlook when the news is full of terrible stories and people are reacting to it in a volatile and often knee-jerk way. Take some time off - uninstall the apps, or put the limiter setting on, or just step back - for a day, two days, a week, whatever you’re comfortable with. It doesn’t have to be forever. If you use those platforms to talk to people, tell them what you’re doing, and give them another way to reach you if they need. No need to isolate yourself completely!! Think about how you felt before you started it (write it down?) and do the same afterwards, and compare. If it didn’t work for you, then that’s fine too. 

Start a bullet journal! Now is the perfect time to start bullet journaling. I first started this year when I felt like time was slipping through my fingers and my life was out of my control, and it’s really helped me to get a sense of order back. It’s not the magic cure-all for procrastinators and time wasters, trust me, but it can help to organise your mind as well as your day, and keep track of your habits etc. It can be literally whatever tool you need it to be. There’s a trend on social media - particularly Instagram and YouTube - that shows off these gorgeous journals that are basically works of art in themselves, and while it’s absolutely fine to aspire to that if you want to, the essential point of the bullet journal is to be a tool. You can buy print-outs from Etsy if you don’t fancy doing your own spreads. But don’t get completely hung up on pretty spreads and layouts because you won’t use it fully then. If you’ve got ‘new book fear’, like I did, make your own! I literally started my journaling by folding a few pieces of paper over, slapping a few stickers on them to cheer them up, and writing some lists. I didn’t buy a ‘proper’ journal until July 2020 when I’d got the hang of what I wanted out of the tool, and how to use it. I adapted one or two things, and I’ll be changing one or two things for next year, but it was a good way to start.

Here are two ‘minimalist’ journals and styles that I found helpful when setting mine up. They focus on usefulness and practicality, rather than overwhelming, artistic spreads and cutesy designs. I’m about to do a ‘plan with me 2021’ journal video for YouTube, so I’ll put that up when I’ve finished it, in case that’s helpful. 

Elsa Rhae

Pick Up Limes

Write down the things you want to achieve for 2021. These can be more abstract concepts like ‘more organised’ ‘healthier’ ‘start a business’ etc. Then, when you’ve got as many things as you’d ideally love to achieve/accomplish/manifest (don’t hold back at that stage), take another piece of paper and choose a maximum of six from that first lot to focus on, and below that, choose just three absolutely essential things to focus on. Make those your things for 2021.  

Now, this one is a personal one for me, so it may not be applicable at all to you/others, but I’ll share it anyway. For me, I need to make some significant lifestyle changes for my physical and mental health. So, I’ve decided to commit to 6 months of really hard work to bring about those changes. Time is going to pass anyway, from January to June. Six months will come and go anyway. Where will I be in six months’ time? I could be physically and mentally exactly where I am today. That thought is super depressing to me. Or, I could devote 200% focus, commitment, and energy, and bring about those changes, and be the ‘me’ I want to be in six months’ time.

It’s like the adage of ‘given a week to write a speech, it will take you a week, but given a day to write the same speech, it will take you a day’ - your brain will tell you it takes the amount of time that you have at hand to accomplish the task, and that’s simply how long it then takes. Use those three things from the 2021 list above, and commit to making those three things happen.

As an aside, tell someone (whose opinions you value) that you’re going to do this. By telling someone, you’re helping to cement the idea in reality, and you’ve got a support to turn to if it gets rocky, someone to cheer you on, and someone to celebrate with who knew what a struggle and commitment this was to you in the first place. 

Pick three points in the year where good things will happen. Book yourself something nice, save up for something and have it delivered then, or tell yourself that you will have achieved [x] by May, or September, or December. For me, it’s a working draft of my novel, and certain health goals by October, but make it yours, and keep those points fixed in your mind. It will help 2021 not to be one amorphous mass of time, and will give it structure and form. You could also choose to grow something in a pot - lots of vegetables can be grown cheaply from seed in a pot on a windowsill, and you’ll have something tasty to eat at the end of it!!

Here’s a slightly gentler idea to finish with: 

On New Year’s Eve take a moment to yourself, go outside if it’s not raining or too cold etc., light a candle, hold it (safely) in your hands, and be still. It doesn’t have to be exactly at midnight, but it will help your focus if it’s dark. Otherwise, go to a quiet part of the house and turn the lights down so that the candle flame is your focus. As before, think about what you’ve achieved this year, and be honest, not just negative! It’s very easy to say ‘oh I didn’t achieve anything, it all sucks, it was all awful’, when there will be tiny victories tucked away in there, I promise you, even if it was the toughest year of your life. Then think about where you are at the moment, mentally and physically. Acknowledge that state of being. Look at it with honest eyes. This moment is not for anyone else, so you don’t need to colour it one way or another. It’s for you. If you’re finding it hard not to be negative, be neutral. Let those thoughts come and go, and then turn your mind to the future. Mentally feed those negative thoughts into the flame in front of you, one at a time. Say it out loud if that helps, but do what makes you comfortable. Let the light from the flame fill your mind and your heart, and think about your intentions for the new year.  

Tonight (30th Dec) is a full moon, so if that is significant for you, you may wish to do this tonight instead of tomorrow. 

I hope that some of that gives you some inspiration, and I hope that people will chime in with their own new year’s rituals and habits. Be honest with yourself but not harsh, and be positive but not unrealistic. This year has been one hell of a ride, and we’re not done yet... Here in the UK, we’ve got the highest numbers of Covid that we’ve ever had, we’re in the harshest lock down (Tier 4) and can’t visit anyone, and we’re also going through Brexit (which is proving a nightmare for everyone, especially small businesses...).

Control the things you can control, and learn and employ systems to ride out the things that are beyond your influence. And take heart - you have a family of folks on here, all across the world!

[inviouswriting]

About requests

Part 2 to this. I couldn’t address this fully yesterday due to I was working. My job doesn’t allow me use of my phone in the field.

I can earn some negative points for what I am writing down. But my mental health will always come first. Take it as rude, or intimidating, this is my little space and you agree to all the terms in my rules before you interact with my page. I go on a “if you submitted something you accept my terms.”

Requests are not obligations. 

If this was a commission that is a different story. I would have that out immediately, because you “pay” for a service I can provide. However I don’t do commissions for this reason. I don’t like feeling rushed for my creativity. The same way I hope none of you rush an artist. You want good quality of work, you don’t rush the person you ask nicely to do these things for you.

I will have a full week coming up where I will have alot of free time. (changing jobs) so I might be able to get to requests now that my time isn’t you know in demand. 

I have a different outlook on stuff, I’m understanding to a default, you send an idea you want seen done to me. All I need is patience.

I operate on my main rule myself. The “I write what I want” it keeps me from burning out or feeling like I have to appease every single person out there. Alot of writers don’t do this and they burn out fast.

In short there are a few of my writing blog rules I want to go over.

2. I write what I want - Inspiration is a hit or miss. So I usually “don’t” take requests beyond headcanons or alphabets.

3. No drama - Except in writing. I have zero tolerance for troublemakers. If you have gripes, don’t come to me please… I am just doing a hobby. Falls under the “if you have nothing nice to say. Don’t say it.“

 I’ve been around for a while. I’ve seen and been through enough troubles in life to fill at least ten books. I do not invite people to cause this, this includes people checking in on requests or asking about the process of something. I then feel rushed and I will stop taking requests as a result. This is going into effect till I feel ready to take on more ideas. Do not abuse anon.

4.  This is a hobby - I don’t make money off my writing. I prefer to keep it that way… - The day I take commissions for my writing, means I am in dire financial help. I’m also stubborn. But I refuse to take money for my writing because, of writer’s block happens, and the speed I write in can vary. Some days I can rapid fire get them out, others it takes longer depending on my mental health. I am a PTSD/Anxiety sufferer. I hate feeling like I disappoint others. 

I also have an FAQ that answers alot of stuff in my “about me - Creator” page.

This sums up alot about me, and what to expect from me.

What can be expected out of me - Lots of down time, I write what I want and I post when I feel I am satisfied with things. The longer stories take time since I write for multiple fandoms. I have my own I’m writing with some friends and their characters time to time. I have a chaotic mind sometimes it is “I will sit down and work on this today.” I also have limited time during the weekends.

This is changing as “my weekends” will be Friday and Saturdays coming up.

I hope this clears up any confusions or opinions about me. Everything you need to know is in my links. I don’t exclusively write for obey me!, I write for multiple fandoms, and have been focused as of late on an installment for one of my stories I have with a friend’s oc’s. 

Anyway. When you enter into a writer’s space, you agree to their terms. We trust you to read everything before you ask us. I am also adding another fandom to my list and characters to the rosters. I have been low inspiration towards Obey Me! because of shifting focus for a bit. My writing has been feeling stagnant, so I need to do some other things to shift. I also have a story I’ve been trying to focus on.

I don’t owe explanations either. Just be patient with me.

There is almost a cardinal sin among the creative community for asking about requests. If you didn’t pay for it, be patient. I’ll get to it when I am able to.

[bhavbazar]

How Does Fashion Influence the Lives of Students

This is an era of fashion and fashion is very influential to our lives. In fact, it adds diversity to our lives by offering an aspect of enthusiasm to strive for something new and different, otherwise it would be a monotonous life if we were supposed to dress up and act in the same manner.

Fashion is an expression of a distinctive style particularly in clothing, footwear, accessories or makeup. It belongs to the style of doing something, looking different and dealing with others. It encircles a wide range of categorization like behavior, speech, actions, manners and lifestyle. There is much intellectual discussion over fashion and clothing and their importance within present day society. Fashion and clothing can be defined as many things that hold our society together. Fashion can be defined as an existing norm or style of dress, manners and way of socializing, whereas clothing is defined as garments collectively. If fashion and clothing were eliminated from our lives there would be no room for individuality and the world’s population would be the same. There also would be a loss of the distinctions between social classes, which was much defined in the 18th century but is still present today. The eradication of fashion and clothing would also change the dynamics of the social world and social relationships.

Mod, short form of ‘modern’, refers to a youth lifestyle that came out from London during 1960s and quickly spread to other parts of the world. Being fashionable is not only desirable but also satisfying. It is very usual that the young students get attracted to fashion the most and start following the trends instantly so fashion influences our youth strongly. Fashion continually has an impact on the society. It affects our views and attitude towards social culture. We introduce new ways of lifestyle through fashion and create awareness within ourselves to reinstate a new line of customs. It is a leading social statement for students to make an outside appearance to their social circle. Malcolm Barnard says in his book Fashion as Communication, “Fashion and clothing have always been explained as forms of communication” (39). Students use fashion to exchange their feelings and beliefs. They use fashion as a way of social contact with reference to scrutiny for all sorts of people. Fashion is a way of communication to convey with the world what their personality really says.

The decade of 1920 is called the Age of Flaming Youth because of its wild and jazzy expression. In this period the energy of youth was set free in a new way and no style seemed too ridiculous to become a high fashion. Our world has globalized. Celebrities play very important role in the lives of youth. Students look up to their favorite icons to keep themselves up to date. While watching television or using internet, they can easily be attracted by a variety of fashionable concepts. Moreover, the students idealize their favorite celebrities and they always have a desire to look like them so they do their best to imitate the appearance and lifestyle of their idols. They are trying to grasp all the existing fashion from their society to enhance their personality. Whenever they socialize, they talk about new things which could be adapted. They use non-natural way of expression, speech and mannerism in their routine lives which is relatively artificial.

In my point of view, there are two categories i.e. positive and negative impact of fashion on students.

The fashion in our society has a lot of negative impact on students. They only think about new fashion and this result in spending of a large amount of money. Therefore, they are not able to become aware of other important needs of life. It always distracts them from studies. Once a style or fashion gets in a trend, it is instantly chased by student community regardless of the fact that how much hassle it leads to. On the other hand they are caught in the confusion of fashion due to impact of society. To follow a certain fashion, one has to adopt some actions and to do so some students go beyond their limits just to attract their surroundings. Eventually they become hopeless instead of being ingenious and suffered from depression for being within fashion. On the other hand, it is also a thought that the money spending on Fashion could be spent for various other purposes like charity and helping the poor.

Fashion creates an inaccessible standard for students. They all want to be attractive and glamorous like the celebrities on television or in magazines hence they spend a lot of time and money just to build up a good impression on people around them. However, they fail to make a statement most of the time that leads to a low self esteem. It also creates a clash of thoughts between them and their friends that may lead to jealousy factor and as a result ruin their relationship with friends. Students start judging people by their outlook appearance and those who cannot spend sufficient amount on their outward look, eventually become persecuted which decreased their confidence level to certain extent.

Students who give more concentration to fashion are generally least conscious about their studies. They think that by adopting certain fashion trends, they will achieve certain distinction among the peers therefore they start giving less importance to their academic careers.

There are some positive points of being fashionable as well. For instance, when teenagers feel good because of the way they look, it gives a high sense of worth and confidence in their personalities. Moreover they feel more independent and acceptable in a social context. If students follow a certain trend, it facilitates them to recognize their own personalities by meeting different people from the society with the same interests and sense of style. Wearing trendy clothes shows a person’s status. People assume a person more progressive if he is wearing fashionable clothes. Malcolm Barnard says in his book Fashion as Communication, “Fashion and clothing have always been explained as forms of communication”

Students eventually come to know that it’s not good for them to follow or imitate others all the time. Instead, they should learn how to be innovative and make their own sense of style. That helps them to be more strong, independent and imaginative. Fashion is the name of expressing oneself.It proves that the people have liberty to feel comfortable about themselves and that results in a more successful and prosperous society.

Fashion is a form of art and because art is beneficial to society so same goes for fashion as well.Fashion is a big reason for companies to invest more into the expansion of latest clothing, trends, and better living. We cannot disagree with the fact that fashion has a significant place on the life of every student. At times, it can be the source of things that make the life more pleasant. On the other hand, it can be destructive for the lives of certain people. So it’s better to keep yourself modernized with fashion but if it is damaging your academic performance by any mean, you should keep yourself away from that. Generally, fashion can be entertaining, exciting and harmless. Fashion is a money making method that can provide employment to thousands of people.

There should be stability in the lives of students while pursuing fashion. They should be aware of the fact that the fashion within limits is admirable but when the limits are crossed, they have to face many problems. Their prime responsibility is to fill up themselves with the asset of knowledge instead of running after the wildness of deceptive fashion world. There should be a right balance between being fashionable and getting away from our roots. Students should know the fact that they have maximum time to indulge themselves to the world of lavishness after they completed their studies.So they should give their utmost devotion to education presently for time and tide waits for none.

Being trendy and fashionable is just our own wish, no one can force us to do it and it’s our own decision that how much and what type of fashion we prefer according to place and requirement. Though this time of 21st century in Pakistan mostly people are affected by glamorous world and style of fashion but still they have not forgotten our traditions and culture which is the priority and symbol of our country.

[kategrainger]

Achieving Personal Freedom

A topic that feels very relevant in the face of today’s pandemic.

 Personal freedom is something that we all want more of, regardless of how it is individually defined. Many we speak with define personal freedom as financial freedom, freedom from responsibility, or simply having more free time. The idea that personal freedom is something other than what we are currently doing. But look at those who are striving  and achieving personal growth – it is a journey, not a destination. They still accomplish all the daily mundane tasks we do… so what’s the difference? What’s the secret?

 “The day to day tasks and challenges quickly pull us into the world that we call our own, and it is there that overwhelm sets in. In that space of freedom, we feel a great deal of control elegantly mixed with a humble experience of surrender.”

 I feel it has to do a lot with mindset. Creating your own energy. A positivity. That old saying of looking at the glass as half full, instead of half empty. Finding contentment and gratitude in what you already have. Making a decision on where you want to go and taking small steps to start achieving that.

 “There is no greater feeling of personal power than that which gives us peace and the knowledge that everything in that moment is just as it should be.”

If you was a less stressful life. Maybe the start of the journey to achieving that, and getting more personal freedom, would be slipping in a daily guided meditation. Possibly a walk and connect with nature: start identifying the flora and fauna around you. It could also be as simple as putting on some relaxing music and connecting with the melody or lyrics… all these activities shift your stress levels, your perspective, and your energy. There is no major life change and disruption. Just a small step in the direction that best suits your needs.

 “When we feel that something so wonderful is missing, it’s assumed taken because the only alternative is owning the discard. Indeed, the suffering, however minute, has to be because of a source outside of ourselves. It’s easier that way.”

Too many times we look outside ourselves for a solution, or to finger with blame. How have your created the situation? Are you allowing it to continue happen? What steps can you take to start removing the negative and unwanted forces/situations in your life? We’ve seen people not happy with their jobs start their own businesses from hobbies they love to do, building it slowly out of hours until it can sustain them as a full time vocation. Individuals discovering tools to stop escalating confrontation in the home, or removing themselves from the situation to change behavior, or escape abuse and get their personal freedom. As we stated before, everyone’s personal freedom is different. Find what is going to make you happy – whether it is reducing stressors or aspects of your life that have a negative impact because you don’t know what you want; or if you are certain of a goal, start making steps to achieve that. There is no right or wrong, and no one path to achieving personal freedom. Don’t be afraid to experiment, try different things out. Be creative. Move forward.

“If freedom is what we seek; if it is what we chase through everything we do, then why do we use our everyday life as an excuse for that freedom to have to be chased at all? Why can’t we simply allow both the grind of living and the serenity that is so dear to our spirit exist in the same place?”

Some may adapt to this quickly, others may flounder and need to take some time to look inward to seek what they are looking for. There is no time limit to achieving personal freedom. No ticking clock. Time, instinct, and consistency with help you. There will come a time when we have removed enough negativity, fear and distractions to get a clear view of the direction you want to go.

“It takes an understanding of what we value.”

Taking those first steps, it starts to shift the gears in your thinking, in your perspective. Like giving yourself permission to feel better, release negativity, voice your opinion, state your desire out loud. Manifest it, Ask the universe for it. It’s like making a spiritual dream board so you are reminded everyday of your goals, the positive happy place you are aiming for. A daily mantra.

“One requirement; that we grant permission for it to live and bring to life a new perspective. While the dream of the planet is to see peace, freedom, and love for all, it needs to come from every morsel of our society to be successful.”

If you need to journal your progress, or take a course do it. Maybe it takes sharing a conversation with a friend, they could even encourage you and keep you accountable. The whole point of this exercise is about bettering your life, your outlook, your emotional and spiritual constitution. There is no right or wrong answer, not correct path. It’s all about you.

“Stress reduction that doesn’t require medication, the release of pain without intervention and hearts filled with gratitude just waiting for the next opportunity to give, and only because it feels so good. This is personal freedom, and it starts from inside. To be selfish enough to take as many mindful moments that one can find is probably one of the most selfless things we can do for each other. Maybe we will get lucky and realize that we can accomplish just as much and even more without missing out on what we value most.”

There are many places you can go on the internet these day to aid you in your journey. Guided meditations, yoga, inspiring music, places to visit, courses you can take. Suggestions and advice available for you twenty-four-seven. It’s up to you to take those first steps, small ones, and remain consistent. Notice the changes, reward yourself for the progress you make and build on your success.

You can achieve your personal freedom… it starts today.

© Kate Grainger 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. *excerpts quoted from ‘Starting a Journey to Personal Freedom’ OM Times Magazine 7 July 2018 by Leigh Burton

[kotstarpro]

How Does Fashion Influence the Lives of Students?

This is an era of fashion and fashion is very influential to our lives. In fact, it adds diversity to our lives by offering an aspect of enthusiasm to strive for something new and different, otherwise it would be a monotonous life if we were supposed to dress up and act in the same manner.

Fashion is an expression of a distinctive style particularly in clothing, footwear, accessories or makeup. It belongs to the style of doing something, looking different and dealing with others. It encircles a wide range of categorization like behavior, speech, actions, manners and lifestyle. There is much intellectual discussion over fashion and clothing and their importance within present day society. Fashion and clothing can be defined as many things that hold our society together. Fashion can be defined as an existing norm or style of dress, manners and way of socializing, whereas clothing is defined as garments collectively. If fashion and clothing were eliminated from our lives there would be no room for individuality and the world's population would be the same. There also would be a loss of the distinctions between social classes, which was much defined in the 18th century but is still present today. The eradication of fashion and clothing would also change the dynamics of the social world and social relationships.

Mod, short form of 'modern', refers to a youth lifestyle that came out from London during 1960s and quickly spread to other parts of the world. Being fashionable is not only desirable but also satisfying. It is very usual that the young students get attracted to fashion the most and start following the trends instantly so fashion influences our youth strongly. Fashion continually has an impact on the society. It affects our views and attitude towards social culture. We introduce new ways of lifestyle through fashion and create awareness within ourselves to reinstate a new line of customs. It is a leading social statement for students to make an outside appearance to their social circle. Malcolm Barnard says in his book Fashion as Communication, "Fashion and clothing have always been explained as forms of communication" (39). Students use fashion to exchange their feelings and beliefs. They use fashion as a way of social contact with reference to scrutiny for all sorts of people. Fashion is a way of communication to convey with the world what their personality really says.

The decade of 1920 is called the Age of Flaming Youth because of its wild and jazzy expression. In this period the energy of youth was set free in a new way and no style seemed too ridiculous to become a high fashion. Our world has globalized. Celebrities play very important role in the lives of youth. Students look up to their favorite icons to keep themselves up to date. While watching television or using internet, they can easily be attracted by a variety of fashionable concepts. Moreover, the students idealize their favorite celebrities and they always have a desire to look like them so they do their best to imitate the appearance and lifestyle of their idols. They are trying to grasp all the existing fashion from their society to enhance their personality. Whenever they socialize, they talk about new things which could be adapted. They use non-natural way of expression, speech and mannerism in their routine lives which is relatively artificial.

In my point of view, there are two categories i.e. positive and negative impact of fashion on students.

The fashion in our society has a lot of negative impact on students. They only think about new fashion and this result in spending of a large amount of money. Therefore, they are not able to become aware of other important needs of life. It always distracts them from studies. Once a style or fashion gets in a trend, it is instantly chased by student community regardless of the fact that how much hassle it leads to. On the other hand they are caught in the confusion of fashion due to impact of society. To follow a certain fashion, one has to adopt some actions and to do so some students go beyond their limits just to attract their surroundings. Eventually they become hopeless instead of being ingenious and suffered from depression for being within fashion. On the other hand, it is also a thought that the money spending on Fashion could be spent for various other purposes like charity and helping the poor.

Fashion creates an inaccessible standard for students. They all want to be attractive and glamorous like the celebrities on television or in magazines hence they spend a lot of time and money just to build up a good impression on people around them. However, they fail to make a statement most of the time that leads to a low self esteem. It also creates a clash of thoughts between them and their friends that may lead to jealousy factor and as a result ruin their relationship with friends. Students start judging people by their outlook appearance and those who cannot spend sufficient amount on their outward look, eventually become persecuted which decreased their confidence level to certain extent.

Students who give more concentration to fashion are generally least conscious about their studies. They think that by adopting certain fashion trends, they will achieve certain distinction among the peers therefore they start giving less importance to their academic careers.

There are some positive points of being fashionable as well. For instance, when teenagers feel good because of the way they look, it gives a high sense of worth and confidence in their personalities. Moreover they feel more independent and acceptable in a social context. If students follow a certain trend, it facilitates them to recognize their own personalities by meeting different people from the society with the same interests and sense of style. Wearing trendy clothes shows a person's status. People assume a person more progressive if he is wearing fashionable clothes. Malcolm Barnard says in his book Fashion as Communication, "Fashion and clothing have always been explained as forms of communication"

Students eventually come to know that it's not good for them to follow or imitate others all the time. Instead, they should learn how to be innovative and make their own sense of style. That helps them to be more strong, independent and imaginative. Fashion is the name of expressing oneself.It proves that the people have liberty to feel comfortable about themselves and that results in a more successful and prosperous society.

Fashion is a form of art and because art is beneficial to society so same goes for fashion as well.Fashion is a big reason for companies to invest more into the expansion of latest clothing, trends, and better living. We cannot disagree with the fact that fashion has a significant place on the life of every student. At times, it can be the source of things that make the life more pleasant. On the other hand, it can be destructive for the lives of certain people. So it's better to keep yourself modernized with fashion but if it is damaging your academic performance by any mean, you should keep yourself away from that. Generally, fashion can be entertaining, exciting and harmless. Fashion is a money making method that can provide employment to thousands of people.

There should be stability in the lives of students while pursuing fashion. They should be aware of the fact that the fashion within limits is admirable but when the limits are crossed, they have to face many problems. Their prime responsibility is to fill up themselves with the asset of knowledge instead of running after the wildness of deceptive fashion world. There should be a right balance between being fashionable and getting away from our roots. Students should know the fact that they have maximum time to indulge themselves to the world of lavishness after they completed their studies.So they should give their utmost devotion to education presently for time and tide waits for none.

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[adamdegrandis]

Adjusting to the new normal

“New normal” is a funny phrase because it makes you think that at some point, change is going to stop and normal is going to be forever and then we can all chill a bit and get a bit of certainty back. Well let’s hope that’s true but for now, one thing we know for sure is that there’s a LOT of change around and more change ahead. We don’t know what it will bring but we know it will mean that things won’t be the same as today.

There’s that alongside all the background questions about how we live our lives that keep rattling around without a definite answer: Will I ever not to have to wear a mask again? Will I have my job in 6 months? Will my job be the same in 6 months? Will I be going back to the office? Will Zoom be a forever way of communicating? Will handshakes ever be OK again? Are shops going to come back or will I shop online forever? And so on and so on.

Today I want to talk to you about how to constantly adjust to new normal, after new normal, after new normal without freaking out and without checking out.

  My name’s Dr Paul Brewerton, the strengths guy, founder of Strengthscope and Doctor of Psychology. I podcast every week about life, work and strengths, putting my podcast out first thing on a Monday to set you up for a strong and positive week ahead.

What are my tips for adjusting to the new normal? Well they are these:

Don’t get stuck in denial

Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

Take your strengths with you

Look for the positives

Recognise that change won’t change

Build your resilience

Let’s go through these in a bit more detail.

1. Don’t get stuck in denial

Yes, there are still people out there who think that what we’re in currently will only last a few more weeks, even though it’s been going on for months and months already. In my view, it isn’t realistic, or helpful, to choose not to engage with the changes that are happening all around us.

Better to play what’s in front of you, adapt accordingly, little by little, and that way avoid it all feeling overwhelming and too much. Whether it’s setting up your home office properly (not sitting on the edge of your bed with your laptop on your knees for 8 hours a day), or realising that you can’t just use one disposable mask repeatedly for the next 6 months, but you might need some more masks.

Look around you and try and stay slightly ahead of, or at least in tune with, the changes that you’re seeing around you, to give yourself the best chance of getting used to each new idea as it comes along.

2. Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

This idea of sitting with a cowpat in your lap came from my mentor when he was dealing with the death of a close friend and he said ‘sometimes you just have to sit with the cowpat in your lap’. A cowpat in your lap sounds gross, smelly, sticky and like something you’d want to get off you asap.

But acknowledging that life has served you up something really pretty rubbish, whatever that my be for you, is OK and it’s a good idea to just let yourself sit with that, sit with those emotions, for as long as you need, to let it sink in and come to terms with it.

When the time comes, it’s OK to stand up, flip that cowpat off you, clean yourself down and move on, rather than getting stuck in a negative mindset for too long, which might end up making you feel powerless or helpless. You’re not, you have got this. Have a listen to my podcast at Season 7, episode 5 – Managing your mindset in tough times, the path of possibility – for more on this.

But for now, to help you get from the path of limitation to the path of possibility…

3. Take your strengths with you

Your strengths are those qualities you have that energise you and which you are great at, or have the potential to become great at. They are qualities that are unique to you and where you can probably make your strongest, most positive contribution. So in a situation of constant shift and change, your strengths can be anchors for you, a source of confidence, they can give you a sense of certainty that even if your context is changing, you’re not, not fundamentally anyway, you’re still you and to manage change, you can just choose to use your strengths differently or in different combinations to get you through.

My collaboration, empathy and leading strengths will always be there for me, but in a context where I’m more a virtual than an actual presence, I just need to get better at using them via tech to get the effect that I want. But I know they’re there and that that’s how people experience me – my brand if you like – and that won’t change, even when change is all around me. And that is reassuring when you’re adjusting to new normal after new normal.

4. Look for the positives

In any change, there will be positives and benefits to be had. It just may take a while for them to become apparent. But when you’re ready, looking for the positives can really help you get through any slump when you’re adjusting to a new situation. For example, not being able to get to the office and be with your colleagues in person may feel pretty crushing at first for some people, but enjoying the time you gain without having to commute to work, realising that you can still have a laugh and stay connected with colleagues on Zoom and finding out more about your local area are all great benefits of the current situation, even though it may not have been of your choosing.

If you’re struggling to find any silver linings, try and find someone with an optimistic outlook in your network as they will almost certainly be able to give you a positive boost.

5. Recognise that change won’t change

This one is kind of a build on not getting stuck in denial, but it relates to not falling into the trap of thinking that change is somehow going to stop at some point on the near horizon. It’s safer and more realistic to think that it won’t stop and will continue over the longer term. To stay ahead of change, try and scan the landscape, look and listen between the lines of what people are saying and doing so that you can predict what might be coming over the hill and get ready for it before it surprises you.

Lastly,

6. Build your resilience

Lastly, something that will help with all of the above is to build your resilience. I cover building resilience in detail at Season 8, episode 2 on the 4 things that you and your team need to do to build resilience. But in short, those things are:

Control your controllables

Choose your mindset

Play to your strengths and

Build a rich support network.

Building resilience can really help your adaptability and capacity to cope with an ever-changing environment, so if nothing more, I would encourage you to listen to the podcast I just mentioned and start to build your resilience, as the uncertain days and weeks and months ahead unfold.

That’s it for this week, my top tips for thriving in the new normal. I hope you’ve found some inspiration there, if you like, give me some love and let your friends and your colleagues know about the podcast. Till next time, stay strong.

This podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn,  Breaker and Soundcloud. Check out the back catalogue, leave a review and subscribe to get them every Monday morning!

Related posts:

Dealing with strengths awe, strengths envy and strengths denial

What meditation did for me

How to create super-strengths and not strength monsters

source https://www.strengthscope.com/adjusting-to-the-new-normal/ source https://lapietadi.tumblr.com/post/627304816999317505

[coffeedealer]

Adjusting to the new normal

“New normal” is a funny phrase because it makes you think that at some point, change is going to stop and normal is going to be forever and then we can all chill a bit and get a bit of certainty back. Well let’s hope that’s true but for now, one thing we know for sure is that there’s a LOT of change around and more change ahead. We don’t know what it will bring but we know it will mean that things won’t be the same as today.

There’s that alongside all the background questions about how we live our lives that keep rattling around without a definite answer: Will I ever not to have to wear a mask again? Will I have my job in 6 months? Will my job be the same in 6 months? Will I be going back to the office? Will Zoom be a forever way of communicating? Will handshakes ever be OK again? Are shops going to come back or will I shop online forever? And so on and so on.

Today I want to talk to you about how to constantly adjust to new normal, after new normal, after new normal without freaking out and without checking out.

  My name’s Dr Paul Brewerton, the strengths guy, founder of Strengthscope and Doctor of Psychology. I podcast every week about life, work and strengths, putting my podcast out first thing on a Monday to set you up for a strong and positive week ahead.

What are my tips for adjusting to the new normal? Well they are these:

Don’t get stuck in denial

Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

Take your strengths with you

Look for the positives

Recognise that change won’t change

Build your resilience

Let’s go through these in a bit more detail.

1. Don’t get stuck in denial

Yes, there are still people out there who think that what we’re in currently will only last a few more weeks, even though it’s been going on for months and months already. In my view, it isn’t realistic, or helpful, to choose not to engage with the changes that are happening all around us.

Better to play what’s in front of you, adapt accordingly, little by little, and that way avoid it all feeling overwhelming and too much. Whether it’s setting up your home office properly (not sitting on the edge of your bed with your laptop on your knees for 8 hours a day), or realising that you can’t just use one disposable mask repeatedly for the next 6 months, but you might need some more masks.

Look around you and try and stay slightly ahead of, or at least in tune with, the changes that you’re seeing around you, to give yourself the best chance of getting used to each new idea as it comes along.

2. Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

This idea of sitting with a cowpat in your lap came from my mentor when he was dealing with the death of a close friend and he said ‘sometimes you just have to sit with the cowpat in your lap’. A cowpat in your lap sounds gross, smelly, sticky and like something you’d want to get off you asap.

But acknowledging that life has served you up something really pretty rubbish, whatever that my be for you, is OK and it’s a good idea to just let yourself sit with that, sit with those emotions, for as long as you need, to let it sink in and come to terms with it.

When the time comes, it’s OK to stand up, flip that cowpat off you, clean yourself down and move on, rather than getting stuck in a negative mindset for too long, which might end up making you feel powerless or helpless. You’re not, you have got this. Have a listen to my podcast at Season 7, episode 5 – Managing your mindset in tough times, the path of possibility – for more on this.

But for now, to help you get from the path of limitation to the path of possibility…

3. Take your strengths with you

Your strengths are those qualities you have that energise you and which you are great at, or have the potential to become great at. They are qualities that are unique to you and where you can probably make your strongest, most positive contribution. So in a situation of constant shift and change, your strengths can be anchors for you, a source of confidence, they can give you a sense of certainty that even if your context is changing, you’re not, not fundamentally anyway, you’re still you and to manage change, you can just choose to use your strengths differently or in different combinations to get you through.

My collaboration, empathy and leading strengths will always be there for me, but in a context where I’m more a virtual than an actual presence, I just need to get better at using them via tech to get the effect that I want. But I know they’re there and that that’s how people experience me – my brand if you like – and that won’t change, even when change is all around me. And that is reassuring when you’re adjusting to new normal after new normal.

  4. Look for the positives

In any change, there will be positives and benefits to be had. It just may take a while for them to become apparent. But when you’re ready, looking for the positives can really help you get through any slump when you’re adjusting to a new situation. For example, not being able to get to the office and be with your colleagues in person may feel pretty crushing at first for some people, but enjoying the time you gain without having to commute to work, realising that you can still have a laugh and stay connected with colleagues on Zoom and finding out more about your local area are all great benefits of the current situation, even though it may not have been of your choosing.

If you’re struggling to find any silver linings, try and find someone with an optimistic outlook in your network as they will almost certainly be able to give you a positive boost.

5. Recognise that change won’t change

This one is kind of a build on not getting stuck in denial, but it relates to not falling into the trap of thinking that change is somehow going to stop at some point on the near horizon. It’s safer and more realistic to think that it won’t stop and will continue over the longer term. To stay ahead of change, try and scan the landscape, look and listen between the lines of what people are saying and doing so that you can predict what might be coming over the hill and get ready for it before it surprises you.

Lastly,

6. Build your resilience

Lastly, something that will help with all of the above is to build your resilience. I cover building resilience in detail at Season 8, episode 2 on the 4 things that you and your team need to do to build resilience. But in short, those things are:

Control your controllables

Choose your mindset

Play to your strengths and

Build a rich support network.

Building resilience can really help your adaptability and capacity to cope with an ever-changing environment, so if nothing more, I would encourage you to listen to the podcast I just mentioned and start to build your resilience, as the uncertain days and weeks and months ahead unfold.

That’s it for this week, my top tips for thriving in the new normal. I hope you’ve found some inspiration there, if you like, give me some love and let your friends and your colleagues know about the podcast. Till next time, stay strong.

This podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn,  Breaker and Soundcloud. Check out the back catalogue, leave a review and subscribe to get them every Monday morning!

Related posts:

Dealing with strengths awe, strengths envy and strengths denial

What meditation did for me

How to create super-strengths and not strength monsters

source https://www.strengthscope.com/adjusting-to-the-new-normal/ source https://strengthscopeuk.blogspot.com/2020/08/adjusting-to-new-normal.html

[henmonarch]

Adjusting to the new normal

“New normal” is a funny phrase because it makes you think that at some point, change is going to stop and normal is going to be forever and then we can all chill a bit and get a bit of certainty back. Well let’s hope that’s true but for now, one thing we know for sure is that there’s a LOT of change around and more change ahead. We don’t know what it will bring but we know it will mean that things won’t be the same as today.

There’s that alongside all the background questions about how we live our lives that keep rattling around without a definite answer: Will I ever not to have to wear a mask again? Will I have my job in 6 months? Will my job be the same in 6 months? Will I be going back to the office? Will Zoom be a forever way of communicating? Will handshakes ever be OK again? Are shops going to come back or will I shop online forever? And so on and so on.

Today I want to talk to you about how to constantly adjust to new normal, after new normal, after new normal without freaking out and without checking out.

  My name’s Dr Paul Brewerton, the strengths guy, founder of Strengthscope and Doctor of Psychology. I podcast every week about life, work and strengths, putting my podcast out first thing on a Monday to set you up for a strong and positive week ahead.

What are my tips for adjusting to the new normal? Well they are these:

Don’t get stuck in denial

Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

Take your strengths with you

Look for the positives

Recognise that change won’t change

Build your resilience

Let’s go through these in a bit more detail.

1. Don’t get stuck in denial

Yes, there are still people out there who think that what we’re in currently will only last a few more weeks, even though it’s been going on for months and months already. In my view, it isn’t realistic, or helpful, to choose not to engage with the changes that are happening all around us.

Better to play what’s in front of you, adapt accordingly, little by little, and that way avoid it all feeling overwhelming and too much. Whether it’s setting up your home office properly (not sitting on the edge of your bed with your laptop on your knees for 8 hours a day), or realising that you can’t just use one disposable mask repeatedly for the next 6 months, but you might need some more masks.

Look around you and try and stay slightly ahead of, or at least in tune with, the changes that you’re seeing around you, to give yourself the best chance of getting used to each new idea as it comes along.

2. Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

This idea of sitting with a cowpat in your lap came from my mentor when he was dealing with the death of a close friend and he said ‘sometimes you just have to sit with the cowpat in your lap’. A cowpat in your lap sounds gross, smelly, sticky and like something you’d want to get off you asap.

But acknowledging that life has served you up something really pretty rubbish, whatever that my be for you, is OK and it’s a good idea to just let yourself sit with that, sit with those emotions, for as long as you need, to let it sink in and come to terms with it.

When the time comes, it’s OK to stand up, flip that cowpat off you, clean yourself down and move on, rather than getting stuck in a negative mindset for too long, which might end up making you feel powerless or helpless. You’re not, you have got this. Have a listen to my podcast at Season 7, episode 5 – Managing your mindset in tough times, the path of possibility – for more on this.

But for now, to help you get from the path of limitation to the path of possibility…

3. Take your strengths with you

Your strengths are those qualities you have that energise you and which you are great at, or have the potential to become great at. They are qualities that are unique to you and where you can probably make your strongest, most positive contribution. So in a situation of constant shift and change, your strengths can be anchors for you, a source of confidence, they can give you a sense of certainty that even if your context is changing, you’re not, not fundamentally anyway, you’re still you and to manage change, you can just choose to use your strengths differently or in different combinations to get you through.

My collaboration, empathy and leading strengths will always be there for me, but in a context where I’m more a virtual than an actual presence, I just need to get better at using them via tech to get the effect that I want. But I know they’re there and that that’s how people experience me – my brand if you like – and that won’t change, even when change is all around me. And that is reassuring when you’re adjusting to new normal after new normal.

  4. Look for the positives

In any change, there will be positives and benefits to be had. It just may take a while for them to become apparent. But when you’re ready, looking for the positives can really help you get through any slump when you’re adjusting to a new situation. For example, not being able to get to the office and be with your colleagues in person may feel pretty crushing at first for some people, but enjoying the time you gain without having to commute to work, realising that you can still have a laugh and stay connected with colleagues on Zoom and finding out more about your local area are all great benefits of the current situation, even though it may not have been of your choosing.

If you’re struggling to find any silver linings, try and find someone with an optimistic outlook in your network as they will almost certainly be able to give you a positive boost.

5. Recognise that change won’t change

This one is kind of a build on not getting stuck in denial, but it relates to not falling into the trap of thinking that change is somehow going to stop at some point on the near horizon. It’s safer and more realistic to think that it won’t stop and will continue over the longer term. To stay ahead of change, try and scan the landscape, look and listen between the lines of what people are saying and doing so that you can predict what might be coming over the hill and get ready for it before it surprises you.

Lastly,

6. Build your resilience

Lastly, something that will help with all of the above is to build your resilience. I cover building resilience in detail at Season 8, episode 2 on the 4 things that you and your team need to do to build resilience. But in short, those things are:

Control your controllables

Choose your mindset

Play to your strengths and

Build a rich support network.

Building resilience can really help your adaptability and capacity to cope with an ever-changing environment, so if nothing more, I would encourage you to listen to the podcast I just mentioned and start to build your resilience, as the uncertain days and weeks and months ahead unfold.

That’s it for this week, my top tips for thriving in the new normal. I hope you’ve found some inspiration there, if you like, give me some love and let your friends and your colleagues know about the podcast. Till next time, stay strong.

This podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn,  Breaker and Soundcloud. Check out the back catalogue, leave a review and subscribe to get them every Monday morning!

Related posts:

Dealing with strengths awe, strengths envy and strengths denial

What meditation did for me

How to create super-strengths and not strength monsters

Via https://www.strengthscope.com/adjusting-to-the-new-normal/

source https://thasma.weebly.com/blog/adjusting-to-the-new-normal

[lapietadi]

Adjusting to the new normal

“New normal” is a funny phrase because it makes you think that at some point, change is going to stop and normal is going to be forever and then we can all chill a bit and get a bit of certainty back. Well let’s hope that’s true but for now, one thing we know for sure is that there’s a LOT of change around and more change ahead. We don’t know what it will bring but we know it will mean that things won’t be the same as today.

There’s that alongside all the background questions about how we live our lives that keep rattling around without a definite answer: Will I ever not to have to wear a mask again? Will I have my job in 6 months? Will my job be the same in 6 months? Will I be going back to the office? Will Zoom be a forever way of communicating? Will handshakes ever be OK again? Are shops going to come back or will I shop online forever? And so on and so on.

Today I want to talk to you about how to constantly adjust to new normal, after new normal, after new normal without freaking out and without checking out.

    My name’s Dr Paul Brewerton, the strengths guy, founder of Strengthscope and Doctor of Psychology. I podcast every week about life, work and strengths, putting my podcast out first thing on a Monday to set you up for a strong and positive week ahead.

What are my tips for adjusting to the new normal? Well they are these:

Don’t get stuck in denial

Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

Take your strengths with you

Look for the positives

Recognise that change won’t change

Build your resilience

Let’s go through these in a bit more detail.

1. Don’t get stuck in denial

Yes, there are still people out there who think that what we’re in currently will only last a few more weeks, even though it’s been going on for months and months already. In my view, it isn’t realistic, or helpful, to choose not to engage with the changes that are happening all around us.

Better to play what’s in front of you, adapt accordingly, little by little, and that way avoid it all feeling overwhelming and too much. Whether it’s setting up your home office properly (not sitting on the edge of your bed with your laptop on your knees for 8 hours a day), or realising that you can’t just use one disposable mask repeatedly for the next 6 months, but you might need some more masks.

Look around you and try and stay slightly ahead of, or at least in tune with, the changes that you’re seeing around you, to give yourself the best chance of getting used to each new idea as it comes along.

2. Sit with the cowpat but do let it go

This idea of sitting with a cowpat in your lap came from my mentor when he was dealing with the death of a close friend and he said ‘sometimes you just have to sit with the cowpat in your lap’. A cowpat in your lap sounds gross, smelly, sticky and like something you’d want to get off you asap.

But acknowledging that life has served you up something really pretty rubbish, whatever that my be for you, is OK and it’s a good idea to just let yourself sit with that, sit with those emotions, for as long as you need, to let it sink in and come to terms with it.

When the time comes, it’s OK to stand up, flip that cowpat off you, clean yourself down and move on, rather than getting stuck in a negative mindset for too long, which might end up making you feel powerless or helpless. You’re not, you have got this. Have a listen to my podcast at Season 7, episode 5 – Managing your mindset in tough times, the path of possibility – for more on this.

But for now, to help you get from the path of limitation to the path of possibility…

3. Take your strengths with you

Your strengths are those qualities you have that energise you and which you are great at, or have the potential to become great at. They are qualities that are unique to you and where you can probably make your strongest, most positive contribution. So in a situation of constant shift and change, your strengths can be anchors for you, a source of confidence, they can give you a sense of certainty that even if your context is changing, you’re not, not fundamentally anyway, you’re still you and to manage change, you can just choose to use your strengths differently or in different combinations to get you through.

My collaboration, empathy and leading strengths will always be there for me, but in a context where I’m more a virtual than an actual presence, I just need to get better at using them via tech to get the effect that I want. But I know they’re there and that that’s how people experience me – my brand if you like – and that won’t change, even when change is all around me. And that is reassuring when you’re adjusting to new normal after new normal.

    4. Look for the positives

In any change, there will be positives and benefits to be had. It just may take a while for them to become apparent. But when you’re ready, looking for the positives can really help you get through any slump when you’re adjusting to a new situation. For example, not being able to get to the office and be with your colleagues in person may feel pretty crushing at first for some people, but enjoying the time you gain without having to commute to work, realising that you can still have a laugh and stay connected with colleagues on Zoom and finding out more about your local area are all great benefits of the current situation, even though it may not have been of your choosing.

If you’re struggling to find any silver linings, try and find someone with an optimistic outlook in your network as they will almost certainly be able to give you a positive boost.

5. Recognise that change won’t change

This one is kind of a build on not getting stuck in denial, but it relates to not falling into the trap of thinking that change is somehow going to stop at some point on the near horizon. It’s safer and more realistic to think that it won’t stop and will continue over the longer term. To stay ahead of change, try and scan the landscape, look and listen between the lines of what people are saying and doing so that you can predict what might be coming over the hill and get ready for it before it surprises you.

Lastly,

6. Build your resilience

Lastly, something that will help with all of the above is to build your resilience. I cover building resilience in detail at Season 8, episode 2 on the 4 things that you and your team need to do to build resilience. But in short, those things are:

Control your controllables

Choose your mindset

Play to your strengths and

Build a rich support network.

Building resilience can really help your adaptability and capacity to cope with an ever-changing environment, so if nothing more, I would encourage you to listen to the podcast I just mentioned and start to build your resilience, as the uncertain days and weeks and months ahead unfold.

That’s it for this week, my top tips for thriving in the new normal. I hope you’ve found some inspiration there, if you like, give me some love and let your friends and your colleagues know about the podcast. Till next time, stay strong.

This podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn,  Breaker and Soundcloud. Check out the back catalogue, leave a review and subscribe to get them every Monday morning!

Related posts:

Dealing with strengths awe, strengths envy and strengths denial

What meditation did for me

How to create super-strengths and not strength monsters

source https://www.strengthscope.com/adjusting-to-the-new-normal/