#trying to help more with the dad situation- if nothing else is just acknowledging how fucked up this is i which is super needed

[agentmarvel]

center image by @/ave661

PART III

hitman!ghost x fat!reader (afab, fem) w/ arranged marriage

mdni - 18+; minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

rating: explicit

word count: 3,008

cw: simon simps, self-conscious!reader, implied sexual content (thoughts, not actions)

♡

Simon watches from the arched doorway that separates the foyer from his study. The movers glide across the marble floor with precision, weightlessly and without making a sound. They appear and disappear with no rhyme or reason, but the gravity of their presence is felt. It’s almost phantasmagoric. And how fitting it is that he not be the only specter in a home already so full of ghosts.

But like true eidola, he isn’t looking at them - no, no, he’s looking through. In the sea of boxes and dollies, he’s looking at you. You flit about between the manes, trying your hardest to communicate with them. You ask how you can help, what you can do, what they need, and it all goes unanswered. A residual haunting of sorts, milling about like they don’t even know you’re there, keeping strictly to the task at hand. He’d toss you a planchette, but it won’t do any good. The movers are under unflinching orders - Mrs. Riley is not to lift a finger to move her things into her new home.

The frustration is written all over your face. Your brows are furrowed, arms folded across your chest, pretty mouth set into a discontented frown. He sees you let out a sulky huff, almost petulant in nature. Quietly, he chuckles.

He understands that you’re not happy with the situation. Frankly, he can’t imagine what a whirlwind the last few months has been for you. Finding out that your father is not, in fact, an accountant, but rather one of the world’s largest arms dealers is a nasty enough shock on its own; but having a surprise marriage to an absolute stranger sprung on you adds another, more complicated layer. He doesn’t fault your displeasure in the slightest. Maybe you’ll soften up to the changes over time.

Still, your lack of beguile does nothing to temper his cruel amusement. It’s cute, the way you glare at the passers-by who won’t acknowledge you; hell, he half expected you to stick your tongue out at one of them by now. And the way you huff and roll your eyes? You’re like a child on the receiving end of a scalding scolding, temper ticking like a timebomb, and it’s absolutely adorable.

Your eyes lock with his across the room, and Simon gives you a nod of acknowledgement, well aware that you likely aren’t in the mood to chat just yet. At that, your already perturbed expression sours further. He sees a muscle in your jaw tick tighter. The tips of your fingers curl into your palm firmly. Your clenched fists remain at your sides as you storm towards him unflinchingly. The movers part accordingly.

“I want a divorce,” you announce militantly, planting yourself in front of him with a steely stare.

Simon can’t help but chuckle, shaking his head as he says, “Not an option, love.”

“Why not? It’s an option for everyone else.”

You’re remarkably even-tempered in confrontation, he’ll give you that. Even if the edges of your facade crack beneath the weight of your voice.

“Not for us.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t give me that shit! You’ve fulfilled whatever fucking weird obligation this is, and I’d like to get back to my own life.”

Despite the snarling, teeth bared like a rabid dog ready to rip him to pieces, you must not have inherited your father’s penchant for petulance. You’ve yet to stamp your foot, throw yourself on the cold floor, or start screaming bloody murder until you get your way. You’ve yet to even shed a tear, despite the waves of obvious fury coursing through you. He can see the watery waves forming in your lash line, but you’re trying your damnedest not to show any signs of weakness. Simon respects that.

When you speak again, you’re quieter, calmer. The heave of your chest subsides, a storm of rage quelled with honey instead of vinegar.

“Look, I don’t know what sort of dirt my dad has on you to force you into this, but I promise I can keep him quiet, okay? I’ll take all the blame for it; I’ll tell him you fought tooth and nail against it. I’ll - “

“He didn’t force me,” Simon responds straight away. It’s appalling, the thought that you would just assume this was entirely involuntary, like you were somehow unworthy or undeserving. He figured that your father would’ve at least told you that he chose you.

A look of bewilderment crosses your sweet face just briefly.

“What?”

“Look at me, love; you really think anyone’s going to force me to do anythin’ I don’t wanna?”

You shrink back a hair, shoulders falling from their tense, raised position.

“No, I-I suppose not…” You blink, suddenly avoidant of looking him in the eye. Anxious and notably bothered, you wrap your arms around yourself. Simon swears he can see the pieces of the puzzle slotting together behind your eyes. Gently, he tugs at the sleeve of your cardigan, jerking his head down the hall as he turns on his heel.

“C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.”

“My room?” You sound surprised.

“What, you thought I’d make you share my bed? M’not a monster, sweetheart. You’re welcome to crawl in with me any time you like, but I’m sure you’d prefer your own space for now, yeah?”

Simon swears he can feel the heat radiating off your face from behind him. You stutter out a response he doesn’t quite catch, but the way your words catch has him biting the inside of his cheek to disguise his levity. Still, a lopsided little smirk sneaks through.

You tag along at his heel, following him silently until he guides you up a flight of stairs and stops outside a closed door. He can feel your eyes burning a hole in the side of his skull. The tips of his fingers close around the knob, metal not uttering even a hint of displeasure under his grip, and he pushes the door open before stepping aside. Gesturing you forward, he waits until you’ve crossed the threshold to accompany you.

It’s one of his favorite rooms, he’ll admit. What once sat as an unused auxiliary office for the boys has been gutted, morphed into a dream. The walls went from boring beige to a deep, rich green. High ceilings were scraped of their texture and plated with antique bronze tiles, the vague tinge of oxidation complementing the hardware fixed to every piece of furniture. An espresso stained dresser matches the vanity, the latter of which has an ornate mirror affixed - one Simon prays you’ll use to learn to worship yourself the same way he intends to when you’re ready to allow him. Headboard secured to the wall with the utmost caution, a king-sized mattress sits atop a sturdy sable frame, its four ornately-carved posts hosting a silken mesh canopy. The way it hangs reminds him of the house robe he purchased for you, the very one hanging inside the closet right now. He won’t tell you it’s there, though; he’ll leave it for you to find.

The weeks worth of research and hard work that went into making the room perfect for you were well-spent, based on the look of absolute wonderment on your face.

God, you’re fucking precious. Simon wants to spit out the words on the tip of his tongue and drink down your speechlessness. You’re absolutely fucking darling in the way you take in every inch of the space, awestruck and silently appreciating his efforts as your eyes rove the intricate crown molding, fingers skating across the black satin drapes that match your sheets, sweet mouth falling open in a gasp as you find the first of many surprises he’s left for you - a large vase filled with bat orchids and black baccara roses.

“Thank you, Mr. Riley,” you say softly, a little wobble in your voice. You’re not teary-eyed, but certainly overwhelmed with an emotion he can’t identify on sound alone.

“Just Simon, love.” He hopes the correction will prompt you to repeat it. He wants to know what it sounds like when you say his name.

Instead, you offer a soft, bittersweet smile, nodding.

“Bathroom’s right through that door there.” He gestures towards the stunning en suite that affords you sufficient privacy, far more than you’d receive if you were to share his. 

Clearly that aspect was not thought through entirely; the mental image of you joining him for a shower, dripping wet in more ways than one, flashes behind his eyes. Your hair clinging to your face, pillars of steam shifting and swirling with your every forced exhale, the way your pleas and whimpers would echo through the cavernous space - it’s enough to make him start to chub up in his slacks.

He shakes his head a little and clears his throat.

“Dinner’ll be ready at 6:00 sharp. Got some work things to handle before then, so you’ll have some time to yourself. Rest, unpack, do whatever you want; we’ll go over the rules after dinner, and I’ll show you the rest of the house.”

“Rules?” That caught your attention.

“Yeah.” You prod him with a questioning look, but he doesn’t bend. He doesn’t elaborate, reiterating that he’ll answer any questions you have after dinner. When you don’t press him further, he explains that his office is just down the stairs. If you need him, come get him. Doesn’t matter what for, whether it’s something as simple as asking a question or help with moving a heavy box. Otherwise, the dining room is just off the foyer, and he’ll meet you there in a few hours.

He turns to leave, but your soft voice asking him to wait a moment draws him back.

“What is it, dove?”

You’re silent, but you look like you want to say something, teeth worrying your lower lip as you wring your hands. He cocks his head to the side, brows furrowing with a look of implore. You sigh.

“I… I’m sorry, Simon, about earlier. This is a lot, and I’m still trying to make sense of all of it. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”

He waves you off, shaking his head. 

“Nothin’ to apologize for,” he answers. “Lot to process, take the time to sort it out, yeah?”

You nod, a little sheepish, and he slips out the door, broad shoulders hiding the fact that he’s palming himself as he walks away.

♡

He’s just finishing his meticulous plating of dinner when you come around the corner. It’s 5:59, the clock ticking over to exactly 6:00 the moment he places the second plate on the table top.

Your tired eyes find his mid-yawn and stretch, and Simon is reduced to a puddle of a man as he takes you in.

An oversized sleep shirt hangs off one of your shoulders - one big enough to be his - obscuring your comely curves in a way that ought to be outlawed. Your tiny shorts barely peek out beneath the hem, the width of your delectable thighs concealing more fabric than exposed. He imagines your socks were pulled up past your knees when you put them on, but they’ve managed to slouch just below, an egregious error of gravity that he’d gladly get on his own knees to correct.

It’s nauseating, the way his granite form crumbles at your feet. Bones of iron melt pliable and his alkaline blood turns to liquid magma. His mouth runs dry like the Sahara, begging for a taste of you to quench the savage thirst. 

Simon is not a soft man, and yet, you’ve created a crater in his chest the size of your palm. Touch him; your fingers will slot just so in the impression. Dig a little deeper, and you’ll find a hollow cavity. The heart that couldn’t flourish there sprouted roots, planting itself in your hands. He barely knows you, but every fiber of his being reaches for you, like vines of ivy climbing towards the sun. He’s content to allow it as long as your warmth stays near.

“What’s all this?” you ask softly, a faint smile tugging at your lips.

“Cacio e pepe, chicken instead of pasta, with a nice pecorino romano risotto,” he replies coolly, gesturing to the empty seat in front of you. “Your mum told me you love Italian, so I thought it’d be a nice welcome meal.”

“That’s so sweet of you, Simon; thank you.” Your voice wobbles a little, thick with emotion. Hesitance takes hold of your hands as they wrap around the back of the chair. The muscles in your forearms twitch. Simon can see your gears turning, a battling raging on behind your eyes.

Patiently, he watches, waiting to see which side will win. Hell, he’d like to know who’s fighting to begin with.

“Oh, I-I should really go change,” you finally whisper, doubt clouding your downcast eyes. “I’m not dressed appropriately. You made such a nice dinner, and I look - ”

“Nothin’ wrong with what you’re wearing now.” It’s a challenge, daring you to argue. His expression is titanium.

With a frantic, trembling hand, you wipe a stray tear off your cheek. You look like you’re on the verge of a break, cracking under a pressure that Simon isn’t applying. He shifts around the edge of the table, moving in behind you like a mirage in the blink of an eye. His fingers curl around yours, gently prying your hands from the chair. A shudder runs through your body. The hiccup that follows gives you away. It’s a sob. And he’ll be damned if he isn’t the kintsugi to the fractures in your psyche.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, squeezing your hands. You shake your head, sniffling. “C’mon, sweetheart, look at me, yeah? Lemme see those pretty eyes.”

You make a half-turn, and Simon’s quick to release your far hand, instead settling his palm against your back to rub little circles.

“Atta girl; good job…” Soothing. Calm. “Just breathe, alright? Everything’s okay.”

That’s not what he wants to say. He wants to say that you’re safe, that he’ll fix your fragile pieces and make you whole again, that he’ll cut the tongue out of anyone who ever tries to make his wife feel inferior again. But he can’t say any of that right now, so he doesn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh, pulling a hand free to swipe at your cheeks with the back of it. “I promise I’m not always like this. I’m just tired; I wasn’t thinking about my clothes, I - “

“Stop.” Firm. Gentle. “I don’t care what you wear. If you’re comfortable, you don’t need to change. Dinner together ain’t a big formal event. You haven’t eaten all day, so let’s eat before the food gets cold, yeah?”

You stare at him for a moment, face blank and eyes vacant. Unshed tears are blinked back.

“Yeah… Yeah, okay.”

But you don’t move. You don’t shy away from the way his fingertips graze your spine in spirals. You don’t look away from him, eyes locked on molten honey. His tongue twitches behind his teeth, a vicious need to devour settling into his jaw.

God, he wants to eat you alive, swallow you whole. A bright-eyed little rabbit caught in the maw of an anaconda. You’d taste so sweet, wouldn’t you? The mess between your thighs would match the shimmery streaks on your cheeks, and Simon would do nothing but make it worse. He’d not rest until you’re dripping against his open mouth, face slick with your arousal, legs shaking as they frame his head. You’d have to beg him to stop, too overwhelmed to speak properly, throat screamed raw and gripping the sheets with enough force to tear. That’s the only time he ever wants to see you cry.

Gently, Simon guides your hands from the back of the chair. He pulls it out for you to sit, and you do so unceremoniously with a whispered gratitude.

He settles across the table, unhesitant to dig into his plate. It’s better this way; keeps his mouth occupied so he doesn’t continue to salivate over his darling little wife. You take your first bite shortly after and make a noise that does nothing for his growing erection.

“Simon, this is really fucking good.” Your hand covers your mouth as you speak. It’s hushed and meek, but your sincerity is written in the delicately creasing threads at the corners of your eyes.

“Thank you,” he answers, amused. “Good to know someone appreciates my hard work.”

“You made this yourself?” You sound surprised, and Simon chuckles.

“That I did. Quite enjoy cooking for special occasions.”

“Is this a special occasion?”

He nods.

“‘Course it is.”

You’re quiet for a moment, a thoughtful expression present. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. When your eyes meet his, though, you break contact immediately, looking back down at your plate to spear another bite with that same soft grin.

“Color me surprised,” you murmur. “I thought for sure you’d have a chef.”

Simon hums.

“Bold assumption.”

“Oh, come on! Look at your house! Is that so unreasonable?” You titter, faux exasperation lacing your tone.

“Our house,” he corrects. “And we do have a chef. I gave him the night off.”

You fall silent at that, face morphing into something unreadable, no discernable direction of affect. It worries Simon just briefly, like he’s said the wrong thing. But he’s not wrong, not really. Everything of his is yours now, too - his home, his money, his empire, his heart. It’s all yours. Truthfully, there’s nothing in this world that he wouldn’t give to you. He’s your husband now; that sort of apathy would be a dereliction of his duties.

“Our house,” you parrot, mulling over the taste. That saccharine little simper returns, and you draw your lower lip between your teeth, trying to hide a degree of mirth.

Maybe you’ll come around to all of this sooner than he thought.

Maybe you’ll fall just as hard just as fast.

part iv

[atoriv-art]

what are your thoughts on the hyuga siblings and their relationship

OOF now thats one of my favorite naruto dynamics lmao. i think neji and hinata have a very interesting relationship and i say that as someone who really didn't (and tbh still doesn't) love how that relationship developed in canon

i really like the hyuga fight in the chunin exams because the way it's perceived is sooo interesting to me.. neji comes off as an outright bully and i don't even blame the kids for calling him an asshole after all of that, but from reader's perspective it's really obvious that his animosity only exists because of a larger issue...

neji shouldn't treat hinata the way he does, but he does so because of her unique position as a scorned heir. she still benefits from everything that makes his life awful - her life is still valued more than his - but hiashi hates her enough that he won't care if neji dishes out verbal abuse on her. it's an awful dynamic and definitely contributes to hinata's terrible self-worth, but it's a symptom of the life they have been forced into by the man who the manga is intent on letting escape all of the blame for this situation lmao

(hiashi himself can be a really fascinating case honestly. i think he fully means everything he says, which is what makes him so grating but fun to me LOL. his apology to neji is entirely sincere AND it completely misses the point of all of the issues, but neji is young and deprived of acknowledgement enough that he accepts it wholeheartedly. hiashi thinks he's the best uncle of all time.)

hinata herself has so little belief in her own worth that she just sits there and takes whatever abuse people throw at her... i don't actually think neji's anger towards her was a constant - i think some people interpret it that way - rather i feel like it was something that came up whenever he was pushed too far. in more normal circumstances where he's not being made to fight her directly, he was likely more detached than anything. he wanted nothing to do with her.

in one of the filler mini arcs ive mentioned before (i think. the one that focuses on hanabi and hinata) there's a scene that rang very true to me (and im gonna recount this without rewatching it atm so sorry if i get details wrong,): neji was being made to train with hinata, asked to be allowed to leave because he felt his time was being wasted and correctly noted that it doesn't have to be him here, was told no by hiashi and then he started getting vicious and violent. towards hinata, of course, not hiashi. he then got horribly punished for it LOL i think that's the general dynamic they were living in, neji reaches a limit of disrespect that he can take and explodes on the nearest most acceptable target (we loove a boy with no emotional regulation <3), goes too far and suffers the consequence of it while nothing else changes. to him interacting with hinata at all is just asking for pain, either emotional or straight up physical

But, for hinata, she saw herself and neji as similar (the black sheep of the family i suppose), and would have liked to bond over that fact; theyve known each other since they were very little and she outright refers to him as a brother. it's clear to me she's always cared a lot about neji and imo feels responsible for what happened to his father (something that hiashi doesn't help with. Dad of the year), so she saw their match in the exams as a chance to close the distance between them and get neji to see her as a person, an equal instead of a symbol to lash out on.

but, you know, she was 12 LMAO so she ended up pressing all of his buttons instead and it led to his famous outburst, which led to the famous moment of Every Single Jonin (other than asuma.) coming to stop him and further cementing his belief that her life is seen as special. i think (and this is a mix of Shit I Made up, and Me trying to make sense of the manga's insane mishandling of their plotline) that despite her trying her hardest to reach neji she didn't really grasp the horror of his situation. that's the tragedy of neji's life really LMAO, no one really tries to grapple with the severity of what having that curse mark does to a person. she thought of his fatalism as more of a psychological, metaphorical way of dealing with hurt and not like... "my life literally does not belong to me no matter how much i try to fight it"

this is loooooong take this readmore.

i think hiashi-hizashi were hoping that the cousins could have had a better relationship than they did... letting them hang out often and stuff, introducing them early, hizashi not discouraging neji from being friendly with her, to me it all reads as very "ok well this didn't work for Us, but what if it works out for them... even though literally nothing has changed". they were proper family once and hizashi wanted to die for his brother, not his leader, so that just makes sense to me.

i do nautttt like the naruto vs neji fight so to keep the post positive i will gloss over it <3 but hinata and neji's relationship post-chunin exams to me is peak like. God i wish this was done better because it could have been soooo good

neji realizes that his anger is consuming him and adjusts his behavior accordingly, getting a lot of his kindness back, and he becomes intent on fixing his relationship with hinata... i don't hate that premise at all, it's just the way it's executed that bothers me!

the impression i got (and i could be mistaken im in the process of rewatching the anime + rereading the manga) is that their relationship getting better is done exclusively through like. neji repenting for being mean to her. which, don't get me wrong, he SHOULD apologize (AND THAT WOULDVE BEEN A COOL THING TO SEE ONSCREEN, BTW) but you CANNOT divorce his behavior from the hyuga system in general. from the way they act after the exams you would think their issues were born solely from neji being a bully for no reason, and not, like... him lashing out on her because his uncle is literally the devil.

i don't think hinata has the power to change a lot in her clan on short notice (she did get disowned. did that un-happen offscreen? we will never know. Hiashi gets to be a grandfather to her children btw.) but i certainly would have liked to see her standing up for branch members and in the stuff i draw that's the story i have in mind LMAO. like, her gaining a deeper understanding of neji's situation and trying to work against her father trying to make her cousin's life better? i think that would have been really sweet and even show her gaining more confidence in herself and her beliefs. you can still have neji fussing over her and being protective because he feels bad for how they used to be, i actually really like that because neji IS a very sweet person, i just reject the idea that it's his sole Moral Obligation to put everything aside and make things better by the power of I Will Die For You Now, But This Time, For The Right Reasons

as for hanabi i wish she had more screentime soooo bad because i'm obsessed with how she gives off Haunted Child vibes lmfao. talking abt her requires me to expose myself a little bit and have to admit hiashi is kind of a blorbo to me because of how much he sucks ass, but like. Essentially his insane resentment of hinata was born when hizashi died, it doesnt matter it wasn't really her fault, he needed someone to blame and he would never blame himself, at least not outwardly lol. hiashi did genuinely love his brother, it just didn't stop him from being a monster to him, and he is certainly not gonna grapple with that now that he's dead!

(and, you know, the whole "sorry we sent a guy to kidnap an heir. you do need to die for killing him though" thing is really dumb but if we stop at every single stupid thing in naruto we will be here all day.)

with all that being said i think hiashi tries his best to make hanabi everything hinata isn't, and he has very little interest in having her and hinata have any bond at all. he just left neji and hinata to fester in that god-awful dynamic with no supervising, and took hanabi as the best direction for the clan to head towards. but, you know, father of the year is very demanding and doesn't seem to be very fatherly to her at all from the little we see of them. she's just like. a good soldier, and that's what he needs.

i think hanabi growing to resent her sister for the situation she's been put into (if hinata weren't 'weak' she wouldn't have so much responsibility) is very interesting! by the time we meet her i think she's learned that the best thing to do wrt her sister is to just ignore that she exists. as for neji he barely registers as a presence to her; neji has no reason to interact with her and hiashi has no reason to incentivize it. it's very fun to me!

in general i really like all of their dynamics can be used to explore how hurt and trauma drive people apart, i could talk about them for hourssss LMAO i love the suna family for the same reason!

[brucewaynehater101]

You ever think about what would happen if Bruce had to kill in self defence?

Like literally no other choice, just attacked without holding back because he knows he’s about to die, and he puts a bit more force behind it than he expects and suddenly they’re not moving why aren’t they moving what has he done—

I haven’t put a lot of thought into it, and it depends entirely on how you write his character, but I think he’d either A. spiral before eventually coming to terms with the fact that there really was no other option at the time, B. panic and hide all evidence and pretending nothing happened while slowly spiralling into a pit of self loathing, OR if you want to go the really angsty route, maybe he hides all evidence and after some spiralling convince himself that it’s fine he’s Batman he needs to stay Batman so he’ll just put this behind himself and pretend it never happened, it was just one time it’s fine, but then one of his kids unearths some piece of footage or something and demands why the rules don’t apply to him, why he can keep on working and isn’t a threat despite being a killer yet Jason always gets shit for even knocking someone out. And mayybe one of the other batkids recently killed in self defence too, and Batman was lecturing them because ‘there’s always another option’ and how they shouldn’t be out in the field if they put civilians at risk, when Jason or Babs or someone calls him a hypocrite and it spirals from there…

Ooh ~ I like how you added the element that Bruce didn't mean to kill them. He never actually made that choice.

Despite Bruce's steadfast rules against killing, the man has killed before. Imma link an article here so y'all can look into it. Basically, pre-Robin Batman (or his beginning years as the caped crusader) used to have no issue with killing. This storyline was changed so that he had never killed at all, but it is interesting to ponder. He has made kills since his character insisted he has and never will kill, though. Some of the ones listed are alternative universes or times he was sure his enemy would survive despite their situation seeming to depict otherwise.

Therefore, it's not a stretch to say he would or has killed. There's some fics that examine the hc that Bruce DID kill someone (or multiple people) in that pre-Tim era and repressed/denied the hell out of that notion. Extending that out to other circumstances would cool af.

Anyways, let's look at this AU specifically!

The three reactions Bruce can have about this are:

The mentally healthy one of coming to terms and accepting this kill

Hide all of the evidence, spiral, and try to justify it to himself while remaining a hypocrite

Repress the fuck out of his memories (including killing, hiding the evidence, and anything else surrounding it) to deny it happened

The first one has opportunities for good dad Bruce where he communicates with actual words to his kids that he'd rather they come home alive. Great hurt/comfort for that route.

The second one is full throttle fuck Bruce. He's a hypocrite who berates the others for their choices in the field, reacts explosively to them even hinting at murder, and overall no one (including Bruce) is having a good time.

The third one has four options:

Bruce is obv not mentally well. He can receive help, come to terms, and eventually end up as good dad

He keeps denying despite how much evidence is proven otherwise, causing him to spiral and jeopardize his relationships.

He eventually accepts what happens but is steadfast that HIM doing so is fine. He won't excuse that behavior for anyone else regardless of the circumstances

After acknowledging the kill, he creates a self-fulfilling prophecy with his belief that even one death will cause him to spiral into madness and mass murder. There would be many clues that he could stop from becoming a monster, but he simply doesn't due to his ideas that one death is too far

The last one could bring lots of angst, especially for the person that forced Bruce to acknowledge the evidence and his kill :)

Maybe the fic can even force Alfred to be the one to put Bruce down for good :)

There are also fics that consider what Bruce's reactions and what the rest of the batfam would do if someone who's sworn off killing ends up killing someone (particularly on accident or in self-defense). There's either good dad Bruce who apologizes for ever giving the impression that killing in self-defense is wrong (when there's no other choice) or bad dad Bruce who goes nuclear.

This has absolutely nothing to do with Bruce killing someone, but this is a rant about Bruce's moral code:

For once, I'd kill for an ACAB Batman because cops kill, and that goes against his moral code. A simple math of murder = wrong, so therefore cops (who don't swear off ever killing again) are an entire group he's against the same as he's against gangs.

He's criticized the batfam, some JL members, anti-heroes, villains, etc. for their choices regarding murdering for justice. Are there any fics or instances in canon where he basically says "fuck the police" because they do kill? Not him stating that GCPD is corrupt, but him fully disparaging the entire profession/institution due to the allowance it gives in murdering. He could go on one of his rants about judge, jury, and executioner. He could chat about power dynamics, morals, police training, checks and balances, insufficient evidence gathering before execution, innocents killed, etc.

Where the fuck is ACAB Bruce? Give me reluctantly working with Jim despite his hatred of cops. Give me him stating he likes Jim as a person and his notion of changing shit from the inside, but Bruce (as someone who is legit working outside the law and policies in place) doesn't think it's possible to change enough. Give me Bruce debating whether his role of working with the legal system is doing harm.

If Bruce has black and white perspectives on murder, let him have it about everything.

[ladylooch]

You can write it whenever. But could we have a blurb of Lucie and Mack meeting Sophie for the first time.

A/N: Mack is 3, Lucie is 5

Lucie Hischier has had a big week. Not only did she start Kindergarten on Tuesday, but now, to end the week on a Friday, her little sister is here! At least, that is what Uncle T told her when he picked her up from school yesterday afternoon. Her little sister, Mack, had been in his arms, squeaking excitedly when she saw Lucie.

Her sneakers squeak along the clean, white tile as she rolls along the hallway with her little sister holding her hand. At the end of the hall, outside of a room, her dad stands, scratching at his bearded face. He beams when he sees his oldest girls next to their uncle. 

“Hi girls!” Nico exclaims. “Come here!” Mack runs as fast as her little, pudgy legs will carry her. Lucie follows behind more cautiously. She sighs when Nico pulls her into his chest, kissing her cheek affectionately. “How was school yesterday?” He wonders. Lucie beams; he didn’t forget about her big week even with the family’s new addition.

“Good. I drew a picture for mama.” She holds the pink paper up for him to see. It’s the five of them standing in a grassy field, bathed in sunshine. The Swiss mountains behind them remind Nico of how much he misses home after returning so quickly in July to finish out the rest of Lexi’s pregnancy.

“I bet she is going to love that. Should we go in? Meet your sister?”

“Sophie!” Mack screams.

“Yeah! Baby Soph!” Nico cheers. He keeps Mack in his arms, then leads Lucie in by the fingers she clutches in her little hand. “Mama, our babies are here.” Nico announces their presence. 

“Oh! My loves!” Lexi exclaims from the bed. Overwhelmed, Lucie begins to tear up, clutching Nico’s hand tighter. “Luc, you’ve had such a big week, baby.” Lexi acknowledges her oldest right away. “School and a new sister.” Lexi watches her oldest closely, waving at Mack who is content in Nico’s arms. “Wanna come up here?” Lucie nods, crawling up without any help from her parents. She collapses into Lexi’s chest, tears running down her face as she clutches Lexi’s gown. Her mama holds Lucie tight to one side of her chest, handing off Sophie to Nico after Mack is placed in bed with her. 

“Hi mama.” Lucie cries.

“Hi baby. It’s okay.  A lot of big feelings right now, huh?” Lucie nods tearily. 

“Hi mama!” Mack cheers. 

“Hi baby!” She cheers back, smooching her puckered lips. 

“I brought you a picture.” Lucie sighs. She holds up the colored paper for her mom to see. 

“Oh, is that our family? And with Sophie, huh?” She smoothes down Lucie’s hair, pressing her lips to the top of her head. “So sweet, baby. I love it.” 

Nico sits on the bed with his girls, holding a sleeping Sophie in his arms. Lucie’s brown eyes train down to the bundle, fixating on the blue and pink striped hat as Mack crawls over to get a good look.

“Our baby!” Mack cheers.

“Yeah!” Lexi and Nico respond simultaneously. 

“Do you want to hold your little sister?” Lexi asks Lucie first. Lucie nods, wiping at the residue of her tears. Everything is already feeling better with her parents so close. 

“Me too!” Mack asks, trying to crawl over Lexi. 

“After Lucie, sweets.” Nico says as he turns to hand Sophie to Lucie while Lexi situates a pillow in her lap.

“Yeah, you come here and snuggle with me, Mackie.” Lexi distracts the three year old who happily plops in her mom’s lap.

The second Sophie is set into Lucie’s arms, Lucie starts to cry again.

“She is so beautiful.” She hiccups to Nico, who cannot even pretend he isn’t becoming emotional. 

“Yeah, baby. Just like you.” Nico leans down to kiss her head. “I love you so much, baby. I’m so proud of how you’re handling this week. When did you turn into our big girl?” He swipes his thumb comfortingly across her cheek. “You know you’ll always be our baby, though? Nothing will change about that, even as everything else does.” Lucie nods enthusiastically, then looks down at her newest sister. Her eyes are closed, glossed over by some sort of clear liquid while swaddled up into a tight burrito. 

“She is so little.” Lucie mumbles as Mack crawls over Lexi to sit next to Lucie. Mack leans down, kissing the hat on Sophie’s head with a loud “MWAH!” The other Hischiers giggle.

Lexi’s eyes find Nico’s. They share a look of pure bliss, both wanting to freeze this moment forever. Luckily, Timo in the doorway is already taking care of that with his phone.

[enjoyerofsoup]

listening to ep 100 of riptide and thinking about the parallels of the encounters with jay’s dad

in their first encounter, at the block, jayson ferin (grizzly, man, i’m sorry but why does it have to be spelled that way) knows exactly what to say to intimidate jay. he ridicules her choice to become a pirate, insults her friends. but he also shames her for having left featherbrook island. for “leaving her mother all by her lonesome.” jay’s response is that her mother can handle herself, though her father continues on, speaking at her rather than to her.

the majority of the conversation, jay pleads more than argues. she doesn’t need to prove him wrong. she just needs to convince him to let her friends live. she doesn’t move to attack or defend, just walks up to her dad, head down, and puts her fist on his chest. she immediately surrenders. says she’ll return home, do what he says, begging him to let the others go.

this doesn’t pan out of course. gillion acts, fights against jayson for the sake of his friend, for her freedom. but jay’s internal conflict, the secret she’s spent all this time lying about, her genuine care for her friends but her want to somehow appease her father, to find out what happened to ava. there’s uncertainty. and jayson sees this, and uses it to punish them. by forcing her to punish them. there’s nothing else she can do.

she shoots gillion in the chest.

in episode 100, as the crew has just left zero, they’re ambushed by the navy. as jay’s father lands on their ship to arrest them, something is different. jay has committed to her choice, to her co-captains and her crew. jay speaks against him.

“you shouldn’t be here.”

jayson ferin doesn’t know his wife is sick, that her magic is leaving her. jay herself has only just found out, but it makes sense that she hasn’t been able to return home as a wanted pirate. jayson doesn’t have that same excuse, yet he’s been absent for years. he doesn’t visit home often, not even before jay left to be a pirate.

when her father asks why, jay says “of course you wouldn’t know. always blind to everything around you, especially your family.”

he speaks as if he’s looking past her, trying to separate the person he sees from the daughter he raised. trying not to think about how much she looks like ava.

“my family would never forsake their duty on some immature whim of emotion. i see no family-“

jay interrupts him. “yeah? and what about mom? you ever once think to look over her? check in on her maybe?”

and jayson’s response is what really stands out to me.

“my wife can take care of herself. how dare you use her to provoke me. is this how far you have fallen?”

he’s contradicting his words in the block. not that he really meant what he said, as he didn’t truly care about jay leaving her mother. he cared about controlling the situation, and his wife was an easy card to play to make jay feel guilty.

as jay challenges her father, he assumes she’s trying to play the same game. weaponize their remaining family to gain control. she isn’t.

“when was the last time you saw her?”

jayson ferin is silent.

“i saw her a week ago. she’s very sick, dad.”

he doesn’t seem to even consider that she’s telling the truth. skirting around the subject to insult jay’s character before addressing it.

“try to trick me all you want. but it will not be me who dies a fool. and do not dare use my wife to bargain.”

“that’s just like you, dad. just like you to think i’d use mom as a bargaining chip and not tell you out of pure concern for her. i would’ve stayed and helped. but, y’know, you have so much navy on the island no i couldn’t even do that for mom.”

there’s such a contrast in how jay holds her self during the block and now. her father never allowed her to be her own person, wouldn’t have acknowledged it even if she’d tried to do so. and she knew that in the block, knew it long before she left featherbrook. it may have been easier had she gone back home with jayson after the block, but it would have been a betrayal. not just to her crew, but herself. she knows better now. knows what she wants and what she’s worth.

“so you know what? you continue to do your thing. be a bad husband, be a bad father, i don’t care. right now? i’m gonna get you off my ship.”

and she shoots at him.

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes. How are you doing? I'm an INFJ, 26 yrs old. Thank you for your blog I find it extremely helpful <3

I grew up in an extremely strict, religious household and family. My Mom and I got into an argument about religion. I have a keen interest and curiosity of other religions. So I was learning about other religions to my Mom's disapproval.

Whenever we have an argument my Mom will insult me and provoke me until I give an reaction like anger. Which I unfortunately eventually do. My Mom will purposely fully provoke me after I've apologized then she'll say that I'm not really sorry and I'm disrespectful. Our relationship is only good because I don't speak up if there's something bothering me.

When I did in the past it just turned into an argument. And whenever we argue my Mom would just give me the silent treatment (currently my Mom hasn't spoken to me for almost 2 months) until I apologize or will talk to me after a long while and act as if nothing happened and not resolve the issue. Which is why the same things keeps coming back and bothering me. This was done since I was child. I would be crying and begging my Mom to talk to me and I'd tell her she can do everything else and be angry at me but to please talk to me. Which she didn't ofc.

Since I was in my 20s I just stopped begging for forgiveness. Unless I'm wrong I'd apologize. I don't know what to do in this situation. I know my Mom is not going to change. But I also can't continue to ignore things for the sake of the relationship. I try to change my response to the situation but it doesn't seem to help. It feels one sided.

My parents treat me unfairly compared to my brothers and even younger sister. I've tried to communicate this on multiple occasions to my parents especially my Mom. But she never acknowledges it. For example, my brothers and younger sister can travel abroad, go out at night and come back in the early hours of the morning, their books or shows aren't supervised. But my parents supervise the things I watch and read. Ex. They'll tell me that certain TV shows aren't for children (meaning me) but they won't do this to my brothers or younger sister. And that I'm even lucky to go outside because my Dad didn't want me to go outside. I'm the eldest child btw.

As an adult I want autonomy and independence. And every time I try to go for it my parents disapproving, angry with me and give me the silent treatment. I haven't even brought a boyfriend home or anything. The last time I tried to get my parents to meet my guy friend my Dad got very angry.

My parents would also accuse me of things I've never did which has led me to be anxious in certain situations. Ex. My friend wanted me to meet her boyfriend he was on his way and so was my dad and I got anxious because I knew that my dad would believe that I was secretly meeting a guy. Because they always think the worst of me and I haven't given them reason to.

I've thought about apologizing to my Mom so things can be peaceful. And I've also thought about distancing myself from my Mom because I'm just going to disappoint them again. Especially because I intend to get piercings which they disapprove of. I've realized I haven't been doing things I want to because I'm afraid of my parents getting angry and disapproving.

And then I've discovered doing what I want regardless of my parents being angry at me. At the end of the day im the one responsible for my life and how I've lived. I also acknowledge that my parents are like this because of their own parents and upbringing.

My parents can advise me but it feels more like they control my decisions. I want to be an independent, self sufficient adult. I yearn for freedom. But at the same time I try to avoid angering my parents as it upsets the peace in the household. I'm also tired and worn out from our arguments over the years. It's like I've been put in a cage for so long even though I can open the cage door I've gotten used to being inside the cage. Sorry this was all over the place. Any advice?

--------------------

In case it needs to be said, the punishments your parents use to control your behavior qualify as emotional abuse. Childhood victims of long-term psychological abuse tend to exhibit impairments in psychological development because they are actively obstructed from maturing and transitioning into healthy adulthood. In other words, it's hard to grow up into an independent person when you haven't been allowed to.

At the age of 26, you are physically a full-fledged adult yet you still struggle mentally with issues of adolescence. Since you still think like a teen, you conceptualize "independence" in oversimplified terms like defiance or rebellion. If you truly want to be independent, then you must have a deeper understanding of what it actually entails, of what changes it requires in your thinking and behavior. For example:

(1) Independence requires you to stand up for your own well-being, especially when others work against your well-being. YOU must create a safe space for yourself somewhere to explore, learn, and grow. As an adult, you are entitled to your own space and to live your own life, on your own terms. Whether you make good or bad decisions is no one else's business but yours, assuming you're not out to hurt anyone. The mistakes are yours to make and the repercussions are yours to shoulder.

In short, you must own all of yourself and everything you do in order to establish true independence. Are you really prepared to take that step? I often hear people say that they want independence but their behavior screams otherwise. Their behavior indicates that they can't handle the freedom to decide or the responsibility of facing up to consequences. Their behavior indicates that they want the safety of depending on someone else to: pick up the slack, clean up the mess, pay the piper, or provide a scapegoat whenever things go wrong. In other words, they prefer the cage.

Do you still live at home? Do you still depend on your parents for financial or other forms of support? It's difficult to exert your independence when you remain dependent on people.

(2) Independence means forging your own unique identity, rather than merely taking on whatever identity was thrust upon you. For example, most people believe in a religion simply because they were born into it. As an adult, you have a right to choose, so are you going to exercise that freedom? You ought to choose religious belief for the ways in which it will help with your overall well-being.

If you hope for religion to play a positive and meaningful role in your life, you cannot allow it to be used for ill purposes. I am not a religious person myself, though I have spent a lot of time studying religious philosophy. I have no beef with religion and even believe that it has an important role to play in human fulfillment. However, when religion isn't used as intended but rather used as a tool of abuse, then that should certainly give you pause and make you seriously reconsider your beliefs and values.

(3) Independence requires you to accept moral responsibility, through learning how to skillfully differentiate right from wrong. Is it morally right to punish people for accidents of birth, such as being born female or of a lower class? Is it morally right for one person to own another like property, in the way your parents treat you like their property?

One way that religion gets misused is as a tool of control or coercion. Oftentimes, people are taught to submit to a human-made hierarchy that codifies harmful beliefs about some people being worth more than others. This conveniently allows those at the top of the hierarchy to shamelessly exploit those at the bottom. Although religion is commonly used to justify inequality, is it morally right?

If you don't believe this is morally right, then you should not participate in such a system, that is, if you want to sleep peacefully at night. Being a member of a religion doesn't mean you must submit to everything it prescribes. Actually, if you were to do that, you might often find yourself stuck in confusing contradictions, because every religious belief system is guilty of internal inconsistencies.

(4) If independence requires you to skillfully differentiate right from wrong, then you are also required to improve your intellectual capabilities so that you know how to analyze, evaluate, and resolve problems on your own.

Earlier I mentioned that abused children exhibit impairments in psychological development. One aspect of this impairment takes the form of stunted intellectual growth. Abusive parents maintain control over children by preventing them from developing good critical thinking skills. Without good critical thinking, you aren't able to think for yourself, which means you must remain dependent on others to think for you. Abusive parents want you to rely on them to tell you what is true/false and right/wrong.

One common sign of poor critical thinking is oversimplification of the complex. This often manifests as cognitive distortions that make it difficult to reason well and make good decisions. A common cognitive distortion is either/or thinking. For example, you may believe that the issue of "independence" boils down to either obey or rebel. But are those really the only two options?

Independence isn't a simple matter of "obey vs rebel" but about taking on the responsibility of unraveling complexity, in hopes of discovering the best path forward. You are grappling with a moral dilemma, which means there is no perfect solution available. No matter what you choose, someone is going to "lose" something.

Discovering the best path forward requires you to:

make a list of the most relevant and pressing needs/issues/factors

rank those needs/issues/factors in terms of importance

explore all the different possible options based on your priorities

make a decision that reduces/minimizes harm

In your case, what does everyone need (which is very different from what everyone "wants")? You need to learn how to be an adult and live life on your own terms, which means you must remove the internal and external obstacles that would interfere with that process. Your parents need to learn how to be better people and better parents, rather than projecting all their hangups and insecurities onto you, which means they have some reflecting, healing, and growing to do.

As far as I can tell, these needs do not conflict. In the bigger picture, everyone in this situation has something important to gain by you asserting your independence. However, that doesn't mean no pain will be experienced in the process. The question is whether you have built up your intellectual capabilities enough to assert your independence in a reasonable manner.

Just because you can't reason with someone, doesn't mean you have to become unreasonable yourself. If you've been conscientious and you've put a lot of thought into the best way to get your needs met, you should be able to stand by your decisions and explain your reasoning as necessary. However, whether people can accept what you say or agree with you is out of your control. It's their business and it shouldn't have much effect on your resolve.

The main point is that operating in adult mode means there is no need for tantrums, self-pity, anger, rage, hate, or spite. All you have to do is explain where you're coming from, in hopes of creating a dialogue that leads to mutual understanding. But if there is no mutual understanding to be had and the objections you get are utterly unreasonable, you should not be deterred from doing what you believe is right. But this all begins with you having enough confidence in your own intellectual abilities.

(5) Since independent people can think for themselves, they don't need to rely on others for validation, so they are not unduly influenced by the perceptions and opinions of others.

Yes, you are right that the relationship is unequal; you give everything to get their approval and then you get nothing but dominated in return. This needs to change and that begins by you learning how to live without their approval. An important aspect of independence is that you have to be able to affirm, accept, and love yourself rather than always rely on others to do it for you.

The need for approval is the chain through which abusive parents keep their children shackled. When you finally free yourself from that confinement, through deciding that there are things in life that are far more important than parental approval, you will be in a much better position to negotiate a more equitable relationship.

Thus far, you have been trained to believe that "love" means complete submission, i.e., to sacrifice yourself and even silently accept the harm others inflict upon you. However, a healthy relationship should allow ALL parties to feel supported, cared for, and loved, which means a relationship can only be healthy when all parties are willing to express love properly.

When the other party withholds love for the sake of control, THEY are in the wrong, and they ought to correct their harmful behavior. If they are unwilling to correct, they are being unethical for dismissing your needs and selfish for placing their needs above yours. At that point, they no longer deserve your investment. It is illogical to chase love from a person who doesn't love you or is incapable of love.

At 26, there is absolutely no reason or excuse for your parents to use such control tactics on you, but they do because: i) the old relationship pattern is deeply entrenched and basically repeats automatically, ii) the tactics still work because, in the end, they always get what they want from you, and/or iii) you are deriving some kind of benefit from being under their control that you're not fully admitting to. This means the abuse will not stop unless you: i) do something different to change the pattern, ii) render their tactics ineffective, and iii) relinquish the "benefits" you're reaping.

It might be true that your parents won't change no matter how much you beg or plead. In fact, the more you beg and plead, the more they feel you are under their control, which gives them zero incentive to change and every incentive to escalate abuse. Most people won't change bad habits until they have little choice but to, which means you must stop people-pleasing and be more assertive in creating the change you want to see.

If you want to have good relationships in general, you must learn how to: identify your needs, communicate about them reasonably, and make requests of people to take them seriously. If people want to have a relationship with you, they must put in their fair share of effort to make the relationship a healthy one. Until then, you must be able to draw and enforce boundaries to protect yourself from harm.

Drawing boundaries doesn't mean you stop loving people, rather, it means you're finally learning that you also deserve love. You can let people know that you will always love them, but you can't be close to them until they learn how to love you back. Whether they eventually come around is out of your hands, so all you can do is leave the door ever so slightly open for them until they do.

[stormz369]

I’d be so fucking pissed at Bruce, what do you mean they would’ve gone out and done it no matter what? You can make plans to trap and defeat aliens and supervillains, but you can’t keep your 10 year old from fighting crime? You don’t protect them from the media, from their abusive teachers or friends, from the world around them as their father, and you don’t protect them from dying and abuse as Batman. Why is a city, a simple location worth the lives and suffering of children? When will you love your children more than you love the idea of something else? When will you actually take steps to stop the cycle of villains and abuse and death? Not to mention they ARE child soldiers. “Wah wah wah but they WANTED to fight!!!” do you seriously think that no child soldiers wanted to fight in battles previously? That they weren’t fed so much propaganda and stories glorifying fighting or came from situations where fighting felt like freedom? You summed it up so much better than I can with the “if the city needs the blood of children, does it deserve to be saved?” Line!!! It’s not even the batkids that Bruce is constantly willing to sacrifice for Gotham or to keep from breaking his stupid rule, it is all the street orphans who will be picked up by any of the rogues as collateral or stress relief or whatever. It’s all the kids used as a punchline for joker, or brought into Two-face/Penguin/Black-Mask’s gangs in order to afford to live, or in the wrong place wrong time from Ivy. All their blood, because batman doesn’t kill but he also doesn’t tell children that they should be protected because otherwise he’d have to acknowledge that he NEVER protected his kids the way he should’ve.

Sorry for constantly sending you rants or ideas for each of your chapters, I’m just really hooked. This was much more than what I was thought of in my previous ask and it’s delicious. I can’t wait for Steph or Dick to try and talk reader out of the self hatred and she’ll just go “I used the power I had over Jason to force him to do things he wasn’t comfortable with. He begged for no needles back in the alley, and I almost immediately went against that the second you all asked that of me. I knew his boundaries for physical touch beforehand and yet still let him touch me in ways I knew he would hate if he was in his present state of mind. He wasn’t ready for this reveal either, and I helped to basically force him into that situation. I made Damian upset, made him think I’m disappointed or didn’t trust him to take care of himself when really I’m just utterly terrified for him and I’m so pissed that all of you looked at a child who was raised to be a soldier and never gave him the permission or ability to be anything else because it fit what you all wanted. I don’t regret my anger towards Bruce, I only wish I was more coherent in it. But nothing you can say will make me stop hating myself for what happened with Jason, and I am fully prepared for neither him nor Damian to ever trust me or want to be around me again now that I’ve proven I’m not actually that safe of a person to be around.” Meanwhile, the two bonded boys are listening in (all of them are, but those two are hiding out of sight, wanting to be with you but scared you’ll hate them) and it just breaks their hearts to hear your assessment of last night and of yourself :((((

Please never apologize for sending these, they give me life! I love, love, LOVE getting to hear your thoughts, especially the rants!

Fun fact; the blood of children line was reworked from a rant I threw at my dad after watching the first season of Umbrella Academy! 😂 I hate Reginald Hargreaves so fricken much....

💯 all of this! Bruce/Batman does not protect anyone, least of all the people who NEED protection most! I don't care how much the children "yearn for the capes" or whatever; I yearned for things I shouldn't have had as a child all day every day!

[underforeversgrace]

shatter my soul (I don't want it anymore)

DannyMay 2023 Day 4: Fractal

title: shatter my soul (I don't want it anymore)

words: 1160

Complete

Warnings: Major Character Death, Implied Violence

~~~

In that moment, Danny felt like he’d been torn apart molecule by molecule, that his family had finally made good on their threats. 

As sick as it was, he thinks he’d prefer that to real life right now. He’d rather be under his mother’s scalpel and his father’s saw.

Because then that meant they were here. They lived. And he’d suffer a thousand times to make sure his family and friends lived, to bring them back. He’d go back in the portal and die again and again if it saved the people he loved.

But as he knelt in front of the ruins of the Nasty Burger, as he remembered the blast and the smell of singed hair and flesh, he knew it was impossible, a wish even Desiree couldn’t grant. Even she couldn’t bring back the dead.

Danny heard the sounds of the fire department, of the police, but they sounded so far away, his head stuffed so full of cotton everything was dull to his ears. He vaguely acknowledged when someone helped him stand and looked him over for injuries.

Later, they told him what he already knew. His family and his friends, lost in a freak accident. They asked him if he had any family, anywhere he could go.

He didn’t remember asking for Vlad, but he knew he did. Alicia couldn’t understand, would never understand.

Vlad handled funeral arrangements. He managed to be a decent person the whole time, actually appearing somber at the situation. He never made a quip about Jack or if he did, he didn’t do it in Danny’s earshot. Danny would never forget the conversation, though, with the funeral home director.

There were no bodies for any of his family, after all. They didn’t need a coffin.

They’d been blown into as many pieces as Danny’s soul had been.

~~~~~~

Time slipped and swerved around him, stagnant as he was. The pain was awful, it was all he ever felt. He began venturing into the Zone on his own, now the one seeking a fight instead of the one having to defend against an onslaught he had done nothing to deserve. He hoped he would lose a battle. That Skulker would slice too deep. That Technus would electrocute him to death. That one would be ironic, wouldn’t it? Killed twice by pure energy.

Vlad tried, he really did. Stopped calling him Daniel, son, little badger. He was more concerned with trying to get Danny to eat, with having to patch up the wounds Danny let freely bleed because the child simply didn’t care.

Weeks passed like this. Danny had never wished so fiercely to be weaker than he was. His ghostly Need to exist prevented him from throwing fights - against himself or anyone else. But all he wanted was peace. He wanted freedom from the agony in his chest, from the pit that kept gnawing deeper into his stomach, the fracture in his very being that just grew with every day.

He wanted his sister, his mom, his dad.

The girl he thought he’d spend forever with and the boy he expected to be forever at his side.

He wanted them more than anything. But he couldn’t have them ever again.

They’d been blown into as many pieces as Danny’s soul had been.

~~~~~~

It was a last ditch effort. He wasn’t sure who came up with it - him or Vlad. Who decided to try to separate him from his pain - to lock the agony away in a deep hole that rivaled Pariah Dark’s. But Danny simply didn’t care anymore. He didn’t have the strength. As strong as people thought he was, he wasn’t. He was just a tired orphan who dreamt of his loved one’s death every night, who had not slept longer than an hour in a month.

Danny didn’t know how this was going to work and he didn’t care. There was no existence more painful than what he currently suffered. Maybe he’d finally have one peace and quiet, a reprieve from the demons in his mind that spoke with his parents’ voices. It was only their voices, never the other three. Probably because even now, he couldn’t imagine any of them saying these words to him.

But his parents had said plenty and enough of it sounded like what the monsters in his head spoke that it grew harder to ignore. That he was to blame. That if he had just died properly, they’d still be alive. That if he hadn’t been such a useless child playing hero, maybe he could’ve gotten to them in time, gotten them to safety.

Even now, his mother’s last words to him echoed in his head cruelly. “The people will cheer when I get you on that table!”

It wasn’t any worse than anything else she’d said. But that was the last thing he’d ever heard from her.

He couldn’t remember his father’s last words to him. He didn’t know if that was better or worse - that he couldn’t remember his father damning him again or that he had paid so little attention to them before they died. Before they’d been buried in an urn. The reminder of what had happened.

They’d been blown into as many pieces as Danny’s soul had been.

~~~~~~

Power.

Pure, intoxicating power. As he awoke, the feeling of knives in his chest, power was all he knew. And he found he didn’t mind that. It was better than whatever he had left behind. He couldn’t remember just then what exactly he’d felt before. But now he felt perfect and he never wanted to feel anything less again.

He laughed, eyeing the man in front of him with a deranged grin on his face. This man had power, though he couldn’t remember who this man was. But he wanted that power, he craved it like a drug.

The knives that he’d awoken to in his chest worked just as well ripping the other ghost from its fleshy prison before he absorbed it into himself, disintegrating the consciousness in it to replace with his own.

He needed to hurt this man. He needed to prove he had the power.

A whimper behind him got his attention and he snarled as he turned, seeing a lanky teenager with black hair and fear in his blue eyes shaking with terror against the wall.

At his human face, Dan remembered. He remembered what he’d lost. Anger replaced where hurt used to be within him. This was that stupid child’s fault. And he needed to pay. He almost realized it was his mind fracturing into a thousand pieces as he did it, though it wasn’t unpleasant. He threw away all the shards with pain in them. As far as his old human body, though…

Dan made sure it hurt, not the quick, painless death everyone he loved had suffered.

Danny was ripped into as many pieces as his family and friends had been blown into.

[moondragon618]

So uh. I think I've decided that I want to be a little bit more open about some things on here bc honestly trying not to acknowledge it is just causing me a ton of unnecessary stress (and I'm sure as fuck not acknowledging it irl lmaooo) so yeah. So I'll start with this: I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents (mom and stepdad) and my younger but also adult brother (they all have some form of income but it's only just barely enough to get by). Now on its own the whole all of us living together thing should not be that big of a deal apparently according to what I've learned from hearing other ppl's experiences in similar situations. Unfortunately my parents do not think like this. My mom especially is convinced that we are literally ruining her life so y'know that's fun (:

Okay but seriously. I'm about to sound like I'm trying to downplay this (and maybe I am bc. Yk.) but like a good 80% or so of the time it's. Fine. We get along okay. But I know that's only bc we never acknowledge The Problems outside of the few bad days and we always just go on like those never even happened. And here's what I mean by bad days btw: ""Family Meetings"". Yeah that phrase is literally a fucking trigger for me now it's fucking bullshit. When I was younger it meant "me getting screamed at about how fucked up I am and how fucked I'll be in the "real world" and how I'm just "a soft spoiled little bitch bc I never got my ass beat" (like my brother. bc he's definitely fine and has no issues at all lmaooo) (and usually without the bitch part aside from once when I was a teenager) and now it's more "me getting screamed at by my mom abt how I'm ruining her life and her marriage" etc. etc. So yeah. My stepdad is a little better in that he only yelled at me one time when I was like 12 I think? And then never again. And he seems to at least understand that if screaming at still hasn't "fixed" me after 25 fucking years then it's probably not going to so yeah. And he did actually kind of stand up for me during the last one (in late September-ish) which I know isn't much but it's still way more than anyone else has done so I do appreciate it.

Anyway the last one was really fun (terrible) I got the usual + being told I being disrespectful for not coming out to the living room bc I was having a panic attack and quite literally frozen and unable to move 👍👍👍 And I've also been limited to just my phone since then bc my mom took my computer (bc god forbid we consider there might be a reason I'm on it so much) and still hasn't given it back and tbh I think I'd rather kms than ask for it back so that's fun too (:

I am aware that this is abusive behavior and that screaming at your child for any reason is in fact child abuse btw. It took me until very recently to come to terms with that even while knowing that (and I'm probably still not fully there tbh) but I know. It's that fucking generational trauma bullshit yk. My mom's side of the family is Fucked Up like her parents were terrible and their (mostly her dad's idk the other ones lol) parents. Yeah I'm not even comfortable talking about them right now that's like a whole other thing lmao. But yeah I know that doesn't even remotely make it okay.

And yeah like the day after shit like that happens we just never acknowledge it again until everyone's losing their shit again because nothing ever changes. Believe it or not being screamed at does not help me figure out how to navigate getting a source of income or how I'm supposed to do anything when we sure as fuck can't afford another vehicle or how I'm ever going to be able to afford my own place to live lmaooo. And I also literally cannot even talk to them about any of this without losing my ability to speak so that really doesn't help either (: I sure as fuck haven't tried calling out the bullshit either bc fuck that there's no fucking way that's going over well and I couldn't even if I wanted to (: (: (:

So I'm just kinda stuck here ig. It's really not too bad (most of the time). I'm not saying that to minimize or invalidate anything either I just want you all to know that it's not like super urgent or anything, I'm not in danger, my mental health isn't great obviously but I'm not at risk of hurting myself or suicide or anything. Promise <3 I'm a tenacious bastard sticking around out of pure spite and a desire to keep creating things if nothing else lmao :)

God this is kind of a trauma dump lmao but that about sums it up ig? I'm also very much open to advice if anyone has any <3

[heracrosshero]

Something in Common

Mercury Black walked away from the campfire towards Blake Belladonna, hearing the crunching of the autumn leaves beneath his artificial feet. So far he had managed to get on good terms with most of Team RWBY and JNPR, as Cinder had requested. A few minutes before, Blake had also walked away from the campfire where her teammates sat roasting marshmallows. Blake was intently reading a novel while resting against an old tree.  Mercury approached gently. “Hey Blake, mind if I chill here for a bit?” Blake barely acknowledged his presence, but nodded.  Mercury gave a convincing sigh. “I need a quick break from the socializing. Your teammates are awesome don’t get me wrong, but they’re... a lot.” Blake smirked and turned the page. “Yeah, they can be a bit much sometimes. Don’t worry though, you’ll get used to them.”

Mercury nodded and sat down on a large tree root. He tried to think of a way to keep the conversation going, so he could get some intel out of her and make this boring night worth his time.  “So uh, what are you reading?” Mercury asked. Blake glanced over at him. “The Girl who fell through the World” “Never read it, what’s it about?” Mercury asked while picking a leaf out of his silver hair.  Blake did shut the book at this statement. “How can you never have read it? It’s a classic book of children’s literature?” Mercury threw his hands up in surrender. “I don’t know! I’m not much of a bookworm. Plus my dad was never the type to read bedtime stories to me growing up.” Blake looked disappointed, but not surprised. “Well you should read more, books are a fantastic way to hone your mind and enrich your life.” Mercury chuckled. “Cinder and Emerald would probably say my mind is a lost cause, but eh, maybe I’ll give it a try sometime.” Blake only grunted in response and returned to reading. Mercury let the silence linger. It was starting to get real awkward just sitting her next to an emo girl reading her silly kid book. Wonderful, I know her current book of choice, I’m sure that will be loads of help for Cinder’s plans. Think of something else. Get her talking about herself you idiot. He had half a mind to just cut his losses and go back to eating marshmallows with the others. 

Then, almost without noticing, he asked the question that he actually wanted to know the answer to. “Hey Blake, why do you hide your ears?” Blake instantly let the book drop from her hands onto the dirt. Mercury felt a vice grip on his collar and a pair of cold yellow eyes staring daggers into his own. 

“How?” was all Blake said. It wasn’t a question, it was a demand.  Mercury scoffed at her indignantly. “C’mon Blake, you wear that bow ALL the time. Plus, you’re out here reading late at night in the woods with no light source. I said I don’t read for fun, not that I’m stupid.” This was all technically true, but Mercury left out the part about having already been told that Blake was a faunus by Roman Torchwick.  Blake let go of his collar but still glared at him. “I hide my ears because I’m not ready to face the hate and intolerance that comes with it. I hide my ears because unlike you, I don’t get to just waltz into any group of people and assume they’ll all be fine with who I am. Why do you care in the first place?” 

Mercury just looked at this angry, hurt girl in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he had really understood exactly how screwed up his situation was until this moment. These people were basically his age, and he figured they were all spoiled brats with stupid dreams of being heroic huntresses and huntsman. The girl in front of him looked a lot more like Mercury than he had assumed. It was almost enough to make him feel bad about helping plot their destruction. He decided in that moment to be just a little honest. Cinder could roast him later for all he cared.  Mercury slowly slid his hands down to the ends of his left pant leg and rolled it up. Blake’s expression gave nothing away at first, until the gleam of the distant moonlight shimmered off of his metal prosthetic. Mercury gestured to his exposed leg. “I have something to hide too. I’m sorry to have blindsided you like this, but I just...wanted to know your reasons.” Blake looked at his leg like she was recalling a bad memory, or perhaps a lot of bad memories all at once. She closed her eyes and lowered her head. “I’m also sorry. I’m trying to be a more open person, and I can understand why you were curious. I guess we have something in common.” Mercury gave a reluctant smile. “I think everyone has something in common with everybody else. You just have to find out what it is.” Mercury pulled his pantleg back down over his prosthetic and rose to his feet. “I’ll stop bothering you now Blake, enjoy the book.” Mercury again wandered through the trees, heading back to the crackling fire. He hadn’t learned anything useful for Cinder, but Mercury had the feeling this conversation would stick with him for a long time.

[ravenalla]

Alright episodes finished, thoughts under the cut

Overall, best episode of the season I’d say just in terms of technical aspects. It looked a lot more cinematic and less cheap, the choreography is still awakened as hell sometimes for the fight scenes but it was at least entertaining.

I’ve known about the IG-11 thing months before the season started because of leaks and was dreading it. It’s such a silly idea to give Grogu an iron man suit, and the fact that it’s this basically made out of this character who had an emotional death in season 1 really rubbed me the wrong way. Seeing it now it definitely isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to look, but it still feels kinda lame to do that. Like they just wanted some reason Grogu would even be on this mission besides Din.

However, speaking of that WE FINALLY GOT SOME MORE DAD! DIN DJARIN CRUMBS YESS!!!! Grogu being a insistent little toddler who wants his way while Din just is so done was so fucking adorable. Also guys I don’t know if Pedro was in the suit for that season or he just had an extra boost of motivation while recording seeing it was finally a scene where he got to show some of that prior personality Din had, but he didn’t sound the same monotone he has all season, he sounded so lively again with inflictions in his voice like in season 1! It was like an oasis in the desert I loved it.

As for the elephant in the room..urgh yeah let’s talk about that scene with Din and Bo-Katan. I know the shippers are going to go crazy over it, but I refuse to believe this confirms some love story. Din has always been shown to be respectful and loyal. As he said, honor is his way. To me that is all that was, Din once again showing he’s a dependable person when he is helping people and knows how to let those around them truly see themselves. Am I happy that after reducing his character to be nothing but Bo’s sidekick he has a like proclaiming his service to her? Fuck no, but at the very least I can say this doesn’t seem out of character for me if we just accept that Bo-Karan’s past is never going to be properly addressed and she just is a good person now Din would trust.

Which like, istg you had a scene with her admitting her past failures to the other mandalorian and there was nothing about her ACTUALLY BEING DEATH WATCH??? SHE WAS A TERRORIST!!! And yet that’s not brought up at all, it’s just more “oh don’t feel bad you tried your best 🥺” God even when she is saying how she failed everyone it’s a new situation they wrote where she was clearly in the right for trying to save her people, why tf did they write her in Clone Wars to be this complicated messy individual if Dave just wanted to basically erase all that and do the shes simply misunderstood thing. That’s so fucking frustrating, if you want to have your character grow then actually acknowledge their past flaws.

On a more brighter note, Moff Gideon will never not be entertaining, even if it makes the season 2 finale worthless in another way THANK YOU FOR SOME ACTUAL COMPELLING CONFLICT FINALLY. Him with the Mando helmet and suit looked fucking sick (in a villain way of course I mean this is clearly cultural appropriation and genocide we are dealing with here). I know people are gonna be freaking out from the Thrawn mention and whatever else sequel triology related stuff they said but I don’t care I’m just happy Moff Gideon got to come back and antagonize once more for my entertainment lmao.

Sigh. Paz. You were just starting to get a bit more fleshed out and they killed you off. Don’t get me wrong its an honorable death at least, but god see this is what I mean when I saw Bo-Katan has taken over everything, Din’s known him practically his whole life and we didn’t even maybe get to see a shot of him seeing him killed as he was dragged away, it’s just a moment between Bo and him because she is the protagonist at this point. Maybe if they had had a conversation about their personal different upbringings or something, but as is it just feels like a random moment between them. Oh well, still made me sad because I like Paz and at least it meant something saving both factions of Mandalorians I GUESS? That also has been handled pretty poorly imo, since this show doesn’t let people actually talk to one another hardly (unless it’s assuring Bo she’s a great person yada yada). I have one thing that really bothered me about that confrontation scene where Grogu stepped in, but I’m gonna make another separate post for that.

Finally, let’s talk about our main man himself. Din getting kidnapped at the end is slightly insulting after having to be saved by Bo constantly all season, however on it’s own I do love the vulnerable spot he is in and this creates a cool cliffhanger that makes me actually excited for next week! (first time all season lmao). I really thought they were going to take his helmet off in front of everybody right there, which idk I think that would have been a cool way to just further insult the mines and Din after he (albeit pretty easily and cheaply) redeemed himself, especially in front of Paz. But we didn’t get that so eh, maybe next episode is where we get our helmetless Din Djarin sequence who knows. I am so hoping for him to finally get the spotlight next episode and get a personal scene between him and Moff Gideon, it’s not going to feel as satisfying as it would be if Din had the proper development this season he deserved but still it would be better than nothing.

So overall, best episode of the season in my my opinion, but that still doesn’t mean there isn’t the same problems the whole season has had concerning Din and I wouldn’t say it’s the best of the series by a long shot. I do actually want to see the ending though, but apparently it’s going to be very controversial. I don’t know what they’re gonna pull up their sleeves but as long as Din and Bo aren’t confirmed to kiss at the end like a Disney princess tale or some shit, I will be cautiously waiting.

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Other real fact is, Six if would be away from his dad who us in prison would always try to free him, and to Chase's "Your dad is bad" he would say that Jeredy isnt better, and would be right, but with Chase they would have problems with that and Six would throw tantrums how Klipse actually cared about him and Chase knows Six's love to father figure so he just feels sorry for Six and understand his feelings. And Sophia wont help, she's bonding with her new son Beyal.

Anon, that’s unfortunatly what could happen to Six because (canon wise) he had nothing in his life other than Klipse. Even if Hargrave and Dom, and Drezz if he wanted, was there for him, Klipse ultimately had control over his entire life. Like actual mind control over Six’s life. Six had no choice but to think that Klipse is all he has despite having other people with him. Six probably couldn’t think of being close to other people if it displeases Klipse. Like, why else is Six so close to his Monsuno? It’s because they’re the only ‘friends/pets’ Six could have with Klipse’s permission. Six has nothing in his life and even if Chase wants to argue with him about how horrible Klipse is, Six will fight Chase on the topic because Six has nothing else but to think that Klipse did care about him when he secretly knows Klipse doesn’t even acknowledge him as a son.

It’s legitimately a nightmare for both Six and Chase because Six just wants to be delusional about his life so it won’t hurt as much as it is now and Chase has little idea as to how to deal with Six and how to help him with his situation. Chase might even become exhausted with Six and leave him to his delusions. Which will just make Six suicidal as he’ll finally realize that no one is on his side because he’ll just disappoint them in the end. And considering that Sophia already wants to bond with Beyal more than she ever will with Six, Six will see that no one in the Suno family loves him and that’s enough to lead him to actually want to end his life because he’s got no family, no Monsunos and no more purpose in life.

If we had more seasons, it be a literal miracle if Six didn’t just end up dead or extremely depressed at the start of a would be season four.

The being said, someone get this boy a therapist, a psychiatrist and someone who’ll actually stay with him. I know, I gave him friends, siblings and a love interest in my story, but like, that’s my story and I’m still going to him a roller coaster of a life.

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

-

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

-

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

-

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

-

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag​​ @weird-mumbling​​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​​ @mostly-marvel-musings​​ @squishybabies​​ @megzdoodle​​ @suchababie​​ @annathesillyfriend​​ @xhollycowx​​ @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​​ @gogolucky13​​ @countonthesun​​ @iloveshawnieboi​​ @learisa​​ @borikenlove​​ @scarlet-natasha89​​

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[sweetsbfreex]

a styles vacation to Hawaii

Summary: a little continuation of this family. The styles take a vacation to Hawaii with mild bumps in the road. 

a/n: no warnings, but harry is not famous in this. I’ve never been to Hawaii and do not much of the hawaiian attire/culture, i just did research and put what i found. If there’s any misconceptions or if i’ve offended anyone by accident pls lmk!

Pairings: Dad, Husband!Harry

“Honey, you have to let go so we’re not late for the plane” Harry grunts, trying to stealthily pull Ava away from her hold on Milo. 

“No! We can’t leave Mimi” she cries out, cuddling her face into the pup’s fur even more. 

“Mimi has to stay with nan, honey” From his tone you can tell he’s losing patience.

It’s a definite eyesore. The whole situation takes place on your mother's porch. You were all meant to say your goodbyes before the three of you–– no Milo–– go off on a small vacation to Hawaii. 

Ava is holding on to the australian shepherd, not letting up one bit. You would think she glued herself onto him without anyone knowing, with how she latched on.

Milo in front of your mother's feet, enjoying what he thinks is a hug it seems. Only letting out long whines when Ava's sobs get out of control.

Harry is standing behind Ava, bent at the wait trying to pry her off her best friend.

You're crouched beside her, a hand on her back, trying to convince her to let go.

Ava's poor grandmother stands in the doorway. A look of agony on her face as she watches it all go down.

The–– now three year old–– has been throwing a hissy fit in the car, holding onto Milo's paw. Ever since Harry informed her how they were going to her nan's house to drop off Milo and then hurry to the plane. She saw the news like a terrible taste in her mouth, while she stared at you both in the rearview mirror eyes widened. 

You know how much the two love each other, but you didn't expect her to throw a fit like this.

“Ava I know you’re upset but, you gotta let go honey so Mimi can have fun with grandma. Don’t you want to go on the airplane, hm? Weren’t you excited about it?” You ask her, beginning to unclasp one hand and go for the other, trying to bring into your arms.

But with quickness, she remembered the only way she would be able to go on this vacation. Without Milo, she wraps her arms around Milo again. 

“Baby, Milo has to stay. Dog’s aren’t allowed in Hawaii” At this moment, Harry is willing to try anything.

“They’re not?” she asks, tilting her head back a little to see her father’s face. 

“Nope, Milo won’t have fun there. He’ll have more fun with Nana” he tells her, bringing his thumbs down to wipe away the tears. 

“...I wanna stay with Mimi!” 

Milo doesn’t eject this idea, letting his chin rest on her small shoulder. You and Harry huff in frustration, glancing at each other. Your mother...well she’s had enough of whatever foolishness you and H are pulling right now. 

“Okay enough of this” your mother starts, gaining everyone’s attention. “Ava, honeybee, Tell Milo and your grandma see you later and let go of him so you can have fun on your trip with your parents.” She says this with a stern, yet loving tone. Down to business and nothing else. 

“Yes nana” she mumbles, placing a few kisses to Milo’s cheek and glides to your mom. 

You and Harry look at each other in an instant, eyes wide at the way your mother fixed the problem in less than a minute. A mutual look of what the fuck, as in the what the fuck were you possibly doing wrong. 

“Thanks mum.” Harry says sheepish, looking at the calming little one swaying in your mother’s arms.  

“Yeah thanks mom” you say, standing up straight.

“No problem, Now get going, before she fusses again”

You all exchange your see you laters. Ava has yet another sweet moment with Milo. While Harry tells her she won't be staying in Hawaii forever and Milo won't stay with Nana forever. As you're driving away you all wave at the two, Ava yelling to Milo.

“Bye Mimi! See you soon! Don’t chase a squirrel when I’m gone!” She yells out the window, her arm waving in the wind. 

You and Harry share a chuckle. Despite what she may think, Milo has never chased a squirrel in his life. She's watched it once on a cartoon and it somehow filled her heard with the imaginary scenario. 

When both her grandmother and bestfriend are out of sight, she turns her head to the other window. A solemn look on her face, looking out the window like the Kermit the Frog meme. 

You play the Frozen 2 soundtrack for the less pouty girl behind you. But when you don't hear the shrill sound of her singing, you look behind you to see an upset look upon her cherub face. 

Her bottom lip is juts out, her hands fisted and arms crossed. 

“You okay?” you ask her, turning in your seat to cradle her knee. 

She’s dressed cutesy in a matching sweat set and a cute beanie rested over her plaits. 

“No. I’m upset and I wanna yell” she looks at you, resting her case, before she turns her head back to its original spot. 

Harry peeks at the interaction through the rear view mirror; an eyebrow quirked. One hand on the wheel while the other takes its natural spot in your lap, your fingers tangled with his. 

“Why are you upset?” you ask. 

“Because…” she groans, trying to figure out her ‘big feelings’. “You left Mimi and now he’ll hate me” 

“He won’t hate you, you’re his favorite person” 

“You guys don’t love me either!” She whines, glaring out the window. Wigging in her spot, causing your hand to fall from her knee. 

“That’s not true! We love you” you exclaim, in a loving manner. 

“Then get Mimi” 

“Mimi is staying with grandma Ava, enough.” Harry’s voice catches her attention immediately. “ It's okay to be upset but Hawaii doesn’t accept dogs, remember?” 

She only huffs, dropping her hands from her chest. 

“Can you play the when I am older song, please mommy?” she almost whispers.

You accept her request, turning so you’re seated right. Playing the song and hearing her sing eases your glazed stare a bit. Releasing a breath and closing your eyes as you rest your head against the window adds a bit to your release. 

Harry raises the entangled hands away from your lap, placing an adored kiss to the back of your hand. Sending a quick questioning look your way. 

“I’m fine” you send back, in a smile. No mother wants to hear those words.

He can’t do much with him driving and with Ava in the car. So he places a kiss to the back of your hand once more, and extends his hand so he caresses the back of your neck. 

“You’re doing a great job, stop being so hard on yourself” he encourages.

If your mom was here she’d give you a tip or two on how you and Harry are too soft on Ava. You couldn’t help leaving all the disciplining to Harry, you probably were definitely too soft on her at times.  

-

Through all the pouting, belting of kid songs, and Harry's annoying jokes and teasing. Five hours later you've made it to the resort. 

At the moment, Harry was checking you both in while you and Ava looked around the gift shop. When you feel someone’s arm come around your shoulder, you jump. But the feeling of his cold rings and brings you down. 

“Scared me, don’t do that” a breath of relief follows as you tilt your head back onto his shoulder. He gets the memo immediately, leaning down for a peck to the lips. 

“Made a friend in the lobby.” He tells you like nothing. Eyes shifting at his little girl looking through the stuffed animals and keychains.  

“Are you okay?” you ask in disbelief. 

“What?” he laughs, one eyebrow perched.

“Like in the head”

“I’m not following…”

“Why are you so good at making friends with strangers this easily? Seriously.” 

He laughs you off like it’s nothing, but it’s uncomic. You wish you could blame it on being shy, but compared to Harry it was not that easy for you to chat up strangers enough that you become acquaintances. 

Your husband could make friends with a duck if he wanted to. Everywhere you went. Whether in the ice cream shop a few miles away at home or the park where you took Ava all the time .He was always chatting with someone, in the end pulling you in. 

He only laughs it off, beyond doubt enjoying the look on your face. “We agreed to save each other a seat at the Luau tonight, for whoever gets there first. Talked to the husband actually, but you’ll see”

“You’re insane” you tease him.

“Can I have this?” A teal, stuffed sea turtle is thrusts in the direction of you and Harry. 

“How do we ask nicely” you say. 

“Can I get this?” she smiles, a smile so sweet, your tooth hurts from looking at it. She’s the most adorable thing and knows exactly how to use it to her advantage. 

“My sweet little baby.” Harry crooned, advancing to her, lifting her into his tattooed arms. Placing a series of kisses to her plump cheeks. She giggles, never wanting the affection to stop. “You can have it,” he tells her. “Let’s go to the till.”

“Harry you didn’t even check the price” you chimed in. 

“Shh. We’re having a moment” he acknowledged. He outstretches his arm, so his palm meets your face gently. You laugh into it, before you smack his wrist away, then placing a light kiss to his wrist when he whines.  

-

It’s some hours later. You’re all getting ready for the hotel’s hosted dinner/Luau tonight. The three of you took a two and a half hour nap. 

You were touching up your light makeup while Harry got Ava ready. He lost two rounds of rock-paper-scissors and now must deal with the havoc that is dressing Ava. 

“Baby, get the trousers mommy picked out for you” you Harey him tell Ava. 

“Trousers?” She says the word with confusion, “Don’t have trousers babe? That’s a silly word.” 

Then you hear the raspy laugh of Harry. 

“Your pants, get your pants and your top too” 

Not even a minute later do you hear Harry asking her to stop wiggling around. 

Harry walks in the bathroom, a giggling Ava sat on his hip. 

Harry adores a very laid back...dad look you could say. The back of the white wife beater he’s wearing get’s covered by a black button up shirt with flamingos patterned all over it. He’s also wearing  a pair of shorts and his favorite vans. 

Ava’s tucked into a set. a cami top with matching flared pants and sunflowers ornamented the black fabric. 

“Oooh look at mumma, beautiful huh?” he asks Ava, extending one hand towards you, once you clasp your hands in his, he spins you letting his eyes sink in.

“Yeah!”

“Thank you both” you smile as Harry tugs you in for a swift kiss. 

You had picked out an angelic, ivory crochet set. The top you’re wearing shows off your midriff and the long, flowy skirt matches with beautiful lace detailing. 

You turn to Ava to give her a kiss on her cheek. “You look so handsome.” you tell Harry, letting your hand run through his hair. “And you look so adorable, you like your outfit?” taking her from Harry’s hands. 

“Yeah, I like the flowers–– Can I have some too?” she points to the plethora of makeup products spread over the bathroom counter. 

Looking over at Harry for his confirmation, he nods. You take the brush running it over the blush, before brushing it over her chubby cheeks and her nose.

“Tickles,” she laughs, pushing your hand away. 

“Are you ladies ready to go?” 

-

“Wow! Look the fires!” She points at the lines of tiki torches submerged into the sand, jumping as she sits on your hip. 

The layout is stunning. There’s a stage for the performance, round tables spread out everywhere across the beach, and a buffet in the back. 

Most of the tables are already filled, albeit the show was to start in like twenty minutes. 

“There they are, over there” Harry indicated, his hand waving back at a family of four. 

With Harry’s hand settled on your back, he weaved the three of you to the table. 

“Hey Shawn.” Harry greeted, their hands clasped together as they brought each other in, clapping each other on the back. 

Shawn was a tall man, a few inches taller than Harry, and very built. He had amazing brown skin, clear like a mirror, and was bald––which he pulled off effortlessly. 

“This is my wife, y/n and my daughter Ava” he smiled at the two of you, while you shook hands with Shawn and asked Ava to say a hello. Which she did, like bursting a ball of energy as put her hands out for a handshake like she watched her parents do. It caused a laugh out of everyone. She didn’t know why they were laughing at her, but she enjoyed the attention. 

“This is my wife Avni” you hugged, as close as you could, with a petite, expecting Indian woman. She was radiant as she smiled at you and Harry. “These are my kids Grey and Aster” you shook hands with them both. 

Grey looked about Ava’s age, bouncy coils moving as he bobbed up and down in his seat. His sister, who looked in her tweens, sported the same hair texture. Aster more silent of the two sent her greetings kindly. 

“And the third is still cooking in here” he laughed, setting his hands down on Avni’s early protruding belly. 

With that joke, you understand exactly how the two of them got to know each other, as Harry joined in with his laugh. The wives chuckled amongst themselves. 

“How far along are you?” you solicited.

“Three and a half months” Avni smiled proudly, rubbing both hands around her belly. 

You cooed, “It’s amazing, you’re literally glowing. You're making me miss being pregnant” you joke. 

“Okay! Enough of that. One little devil is enough.” Harry tickles your side, as a result you jab his side with your elbow gently, as he grins down at you. “We’re gonna go get some food,” he informs the couple.

-

Now everyone’s sitting around the table anticipating for the show to start. Conversation running pretty smoothly. The four of you were even able to make a few plans for the week you are here for. You had gotten a high chair for Ava to sit and eat in, but she wasn’t having it. Failing around while reaching for you.

 In result, she’s now sitting in your lap, bouncing side to side. Munching on her French fries, chicken, and sipping on her pineapple juice. 

“Taste good?” Harry asks his toddler. 

“Mhm” she hums, shoving her thumb into his face. 

“I can tell” he chuckles, extending a napkin to wipe her face clean. 

You tilt your head down closer to hers, to see sauce around her mouth, some of it on her cheek even. 

“Daddy.”

“Hm, baby?”

“Mimi would like this, he loves the chicken mommy gives me” 

“You give Mimi your chicken?”

“No”

You both laugh it off, not seeing the point in correcting her. 

“Who’s Mimi”

“Mimi is our dog, he's big and he can talk!” Ava answered, her voice ringing with excitement. 

“Dog’s can’t talk!” The high-pitched voice of Grey argued, eye brows pitched together. 

“That’s a fib, Mimi talks to me all the time!” she defended. 

Thankfully,  the show was beginning, two young women and four young men came out on stage. Dressed in their traditional Hula attire. 

You and Avni shared a grateful smile, knowing neither of you would know how to suppress their little spiff. 

The dance is mesmerizing and it was nice with the sun almost setting as a background. Light hues of orange shaded the sea as the night took over the rest.  Everyone watched in awh, clapping when it was appropriate. The women’s skirt flowed amongst the air like water.  

Harry’s arm propps on the back of your chair. During the performance you feel his fingers run against the back of your neck. 

You turn your head towards, trying not to disturb the entranced little girl on your lap. “What?” you mouth. 

“It’s beautiful” he whispers to you. 

“I know” you tell him, smiling when he rolls his eyes at you. 

At some point in the show, the original dancers plus a few more stepped off the stage. An array of Lei’s on their arms, watching as they put Leis around their chosen person’s neck. During this time a woman walks behind Harry, setting one around his neck. 

You laugh at the shocked look on his face and the way he fixes his posture. She places a grip onto his arm, making him stand up so she could guide her to the rest of the others. Avni gets chosen too. 

The smile on your face makes your face hurt as you watch Harry “dance” up there. The man definitely didn’t have the bet rhythm but he’s having fun and you loved that. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!...” Ava cheered on her father, clapping her hands. Harry looks towards her, waving. She gets even more excited chanting his title louder. 

She's Not interrupting anything, you’re surprised he heard her in the first place. But also not, she always knew how to project her voice when needed. 

A little over a minute goes by when Ava raises her hand and keeps it up there until you’re able to flag down someone for a lei, which you both get. The both of you walk up to Harry and you set Ava on the ground. 

A slight circle forms as you three hold hands together. Just swaying. Sometimes letting go because Harry wanted to spin the two of you. It’s a beautiful image, you're sure. All the glee you could hold in your body transpires in the way you danced with them. 

When you’re walking back to your hotel room, your arms are hooked with Harry’s and your head rests on his shoulder. An almost asleep Ava in his arm. He stops to bring his free hand around your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Thank you for giving me this, I love you” he whispers against your lips. 

-

Last night, after the dinner and the Hula, Ava had facetimed Nana. To be honest, she had wanted to say a goodnight to Milo, but talking to her grandmother was always a plus. She was still dressed in her outfit, you and Harry getting ready for the night, so you could then focus on her. 

She sat up against the headboard, Your giant phone–– compared to her hands–– held in her tiny ones.  You were looking through her duffle bag for her pyjamas when you heard…

“Look Mimi, I saved you chicken”, her small teeth bared, holding up a piece of her chicken from dinner. Your phone is now being propped up against a pillow. 

You looked up to watch her pull a piece of chicken from her...pant pocket. 

That was the point you reavulated yourself as a parent and had to think about what kind of kid you and Harry were possibly raising. 

“Harry!” you called for him.

He walked out, an eyebrow quirked.

“Look.” you hiss, voice low.

‘God…’ Harry thinks. “Where’d she get that chicken from?” he asks, running his towel over his hair. 

“Her pocket! Why are you so casual about this?”

“Angel...you had a baby with me, what’d you expect?” he questions, seriously questions you this.

“You’re fixing it then, Mr. mini-me”

-

Presently, you’re all at the beach. Three towels and three umbrellas lay in/on the sand. You’ve rubbed sunscreen on Ava twice now and have had to remind Harry three times. After last time there was no way you’d be rubbing aloe vera on him all night. 

“Baby you’re dripping it.” You sigh, reaching over to wipe her chin of the chocolate ice cream she was eating, from a cup you might add. “Do you want me to feed it to you?”

“No, thank you” she replies, kicking her feet out. 

You’ve all swam a bit, but now are on a mini break from the water and saw they were selling ice cream close by. 

It’s pretty quiet between the three of you, too busy enjoying your treat. 

She gasps, “Daddy you’re a fibber” Ava says indifferently, slurping even more of her ice cream from her spoon.

He guffaws, caught off guard from her statement. He shifts towards the two of you. The way the wind blows his hair and the sun makes the green in his eyes even brighter catches you off guard–– the sight of his abs doesn’t hurt either. 

You also knew it wouldn’t be long until his hair gained some highlights and his freckles would be more prompt. You couldn’t wait.

“How’m I a fibber, messy?” squinting down at her.

“Look!”she points, “There’s a puppy right there” 

There is, you turn your eyes to where her fingers point to see a woman walking a black Dachshund.

Harry turns his head towards him, a sad look on his face. “You’re right baby. I’m a fibber. I’m sorry”

Ava hurls from her seat to latch her arms around his neck, “It’s okay daddy, now Mimi can come next time” she tells him.

If there’s one thing about Ava, it’s how much she hates sadness. Unless it’s from her. Then it’s perfectly okay. She hates sadness so much, she particularly had a dislike for the character from Inside out. Until you had to explain to her how sadness is something that is okay and needed from time to time, Like in the movie.

After her round of affection towards Harry, she emplaces herself into his lap.

“Daddy. Mommy.”

You both hum an answer. 

“It looks like a hot dog” she eyes the dog while it trots down the sand. 

“It does huh?” Harry answers, brushing her flyaways back. All while you laugh into your palm.

Your hands feel tingly when you wrap it around Harry’s neck, pulling him into you. His head lays against your shoulder. 

Definitely a vacation to remember and cherish.

-

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