#trying to get this done in time for the con may have negatively affected my mental health

[ferronickel]

My NYCC 2023 cosplay! I've been wanting to make Link's Glide Suit since the game came out, and sure, it was horribly complicated to make, but I had fun. Also featuring this awesome Rauru cosplayer I found who goes by Mochiany on youtube and tiktok.

Some process photos under the cut

Wearing a backpack would have interfered with the wings, so I made a detachable backpack that clipped to my shoulders. The cowl also pulled up into a facemask.

I just barely finished making this whole thing because of a series of setbacks. I was still painting it the day before I left for the con.

[follows-the-bees]

What's ur issue with edizzy?

Any relationship that ties Izzy with Stede or Ed, I am not a fan of. I live by a ship and let ship philosophy but I will curate my timeline so I don't have to see ships that I personally don't like.

I don't like Izzy with Ed because it is clear to me in canon that Izzy doesn't actually love Ed, and he realizes that at the end when he gets to grow and start to become his own person that isn't clinging onto the persona of BB and the strict masculinity Izzy has been holding onto.

To Ed, Izzy is just another father-like figure that is part of his trauma response. (Captain Hornigold, the fisherman, etc are also part of this.) And at least twice, we see Ed react negatively to any affection offered to him from Izzy. He is not in love with him. And I will even argue that while Izzy loves Ed, he isn't in love with the real Ed. He does wish him well though.

I think a large part of Izzy's season two journey is finding out he isn't in love with Ed. And even if Izzy wasn't killed at the end (I think there were plans to bring him back in s3, there's a lot of foreshadowing in the story, just like there was foreshadowing of his death) Ed and Izzy needed to be apart to grow out of their toxicity.

The Discomfort in a Married State episode seems to be peoples biggest evidence of a sexual edizzy. But I think that's a baseline reading of what that episode is trying to communicate. It is not about sex/romance, it is about the societal expectations that are causing the discomfort. For Stede, it is about living in this married state and the societal expectations in it, while he is incredibly unhappy. So unhappy, he runs away, and is even suicidal, but would rather live a short life as a pirate then continue living in "discomfort." For Ed, it is the societal pressures of being Blackbeard. He is also suicidal and trying to get away from it and we see him tell Izzy this directly in this episode, and Izzy's response is basically, buck up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. (Now there is a whole thing of Izzy as the middle manager trying to keep his bad boss and the crew in check, which is why he responds like that reading. But also, I will say Izzy constantly lies to the crew, to Ed, to whomever, and I don't think it's always to "try to keep everything working" or however you want to phrase it. A lot of times it's to his own advantage, and the show also shows that he's in the wrong. It may be done in a funny way, but throughout both seasons, Izzy continually makes the wrong choices by the narrative.)

Years ago, Ed and Izzy may have gotten along but not anymore. That's why Ed and Stede work so well, they are confined by society and those societal norms being put up on them by outside forces, but together, they can just be themselves.

I haven't even touched upon the abuse side of things because I know that's a tricky subject, but I don't want Ed or Stede to be with their abusers.

You did not ask about stizzy or Steddyhands, but I'm on a role, so here goes.

I read Stede as demisexual. I think there is also a very clear canon reading and support of that theory. And it is also clear he wants Ed, and only Ed. Doesn't mean he hasn't had dalliances with others in the past, but once he's set his mind on Ed, that's who he wants. Because it's Con playing the character, he has sexual vibes with everyone, and that can be easy to play into if you want to ship Izzy with anyone. It makes sense. Especially cause Con will repost any Izzy art, including any Izzy ships, because he is a great man who wants to support art and support us.

But stizzy just doesn't make sense to me, for reasons stated above.

And for Steddyhands, I have found that most people who support Steddyhands are usually using it as a way to heal Izzy. Or that Ed and Stede are too "whim-prone" and they need Izzy to balance them out. And that is clearly taking away both Ed and Stede's agency, which could be a whole other discussion. Also, Izzy has represented the toxic masculinity of being a pirate, and he gets to grow away from that, but not completely. So teaming that person up with the two men, whose entire journey is to get away from societal norms, and not fitting into society because they aren't playing their masculinity right, to become themselves and live by their own rules, takes away the entire thesis of this show and their relationship.

Now having read all this, you may think that I hate Izzy. And the thing is I don't. I love canon Izzy. I don't particularly like fanon Izzy, and quite frankly his more extreme fans have tested my patience on my love for him, but I find him intriguing. But Ed and Izzy's relationship in canon is absolutely fascinating and I loved seeing Izzy's journey over the two seasons. I just don't think it being tied to Ed and Stede sexually/romantically is it. Not for me. But as I said, ship and let ship.

[dksw0rld]

Things I’ve Learned As A Young Woman

I’m in my (almost) mid 20s, I turn 25 in a few weeks. Since my birthday is coming up I’ve been reflecting on things I’ve learned as I always do in the weeks leading up. I want this blog to be a safe space for women to learn and grow in community so I wanted to share some of the lessons and pass them on to others. 

Health 

1. Consult with your doctor(s) before starting any sort of diet, no matter how good you may think it will be for you

At the end of the day, the internet is not a doctors office. You don’t know how a diet could personally affect you, as a woman and / or as a human. You don’t know if trying a certain diet will deprive you of a vitamin you’re already deficient in. You don’t know if that diet is good for your reproductive health in the long run.

2. Tying into point 1, always get your yearly check ups (blood panel, obgyn checkups, yearly physical, dental cleanings, etc.)

A lot can change in a year. You don’t know what could have developed, what you could have become deficient in, what you need less of, etc. if you don’t get your yearly checkups done. Staying informed and up to date is one of the best ways to combat anything that could come up, benign or not. Keeping up with your health is the highest form of self care!!

3. Speak to your doctor(s) extensively AND do your own medically backed research before choosing to go on birth control (and seriously consider other options first)

I know this can be a bit of a taboo topic but quite frankly I don’t care. Doctors nowadays are VERY quick to push birth control onto women without educating them on all the side effect, ways it can affect our bodies with long term use AND what can happen when you get off of the pill. I understand a lot of you want to partake in sex without having to worry (more on that in another point...) or you want to take it for other reasons not pertaining to sex but the healthiest way is to naturally keep track of your cycle and ovulation schedule. No one told me the issues I would have taking birth control for years and then getting off. I didn’t even start taking it to have safe sex, I started taking it when I as 16 because of the bad period symptoms I was having and to help control my acne. When I finally got off of it, my hormones were a wreck and I was diagnosed with PMDD thanks to the birth control wrecking my hormones. It took me literal months of research and trial and error to naturally re-balance my hormones. 9.5 times out of 10 taking birth control is just not worth it. Before you decide, please make sure you weigh all of the pros and cons and look into other options. 

4. Please be careful what you are putting in AND on your body

We are in a day and age where there are chemicals in and on everything. As women, a lot of these things mess with our hormones, our reproductive health and overall health. You have to do the work of reading labels on food products, researching if anything in your household products are harmful, purchasing all natural products when possible (makeup, cleaning products, candles, air sprays, etc.), and making as many things at home as you can (air sprays, cleaning solution, food, etc.). The companies making these harmful products are not going to tell us the risks. They’re just not. The detergent company you’re using to wash your intimates is not going to tell you how the chemicals they’re putting in their detergent is going to make your hormones unbalanced when you wear the underwear you washed with it. It is up to you as a woman to watch out for anything that can be harmful to your health. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is.

Mental Health

1. Stress and Anxiety are real and can really affect your body negatively

The affects of anxiety and stress are real. They can wreck havoc on the body. Find activities that help channel it. Journal. Speak to a therapist. Let go of what you cannot control. Research if what you’re consuming is helping contribute to the issue. 

2. Therapy does not make you weak

There is literally no shame in speaking to a therapist and anyone who thinks so needs to grow up. It’s actually extremely responsible and mature to make the decision to speak to someone to become a better you. You don’t even need to have gone through a traumatic experience to speak to someone. Therapy guides you in digging deep about every “why”. Why you respond the way you do, why you think the way you do, why you love that thing so much, what made you who you are today.  Everyone can benefit from therapy in some way. 

3. Your diet plays a part in your mental health

The mind-gut connection is real. What you put into your body has an affect on your mental health, especially as a woman. Yet another reason why it’s so crucial to know what you are putting into and on your body. Take it from someone who spent months and months naturally balancing her hormones. It matters.

Relationships

1. Stop sleeping with just anyone. That’s not being “liberated”.

I’m going to tell you right now. Stop. Your flower is extremely sacred. Letting anyone and everyone have access to it is not being a liberated woman. It’s actually trapping you into the mindset that being treated with the bare minimum (aka how you should always be treated by a man or woman) equals sex. If a man takes you out and doesn’t ask to split the bill you’re about ready to give it all to him on the first date because “he’s rare”. No. Number one, men like that are not rare, you’re just looking in the wrong places and / or entertaining low value men. Number two, men automatically see that as “oh so all I have to do is treat her with the bare minimum, she’ll eat it up and I can smash her”. Sorry, but it’s true. That type of treatment I just named is the BARE minimum. How a man or woman should treat you every single time of every single day. You have no idea how that man actually is from one or two dates. He could be putting on a show hoping to get in your pants. Honestly, that’s most likely what he is doing. And if he’s not, why give one of the most important part of yourself so soon? You’re just that easy to impress? Stop! A man worth giving time to knows how to control his sexual urges and will not ask you to have sex on the first few dates. Honestly, the men worth giving time to will wait for you to feel comfortable enough to bring it up, they won’t even mention it! Or on the other hand, if you’re sleeping with just anyone because you want to be a “liberated woman” who wants to express her sexuality freely, true liberation comes from being picky about who you choose to share yourself with and feeling safe and seen enough to share it with them. How do you feel after you have sex with someone in the name of being “liberated”? Once the hormones settle I bet you feel like crap. Let’s also mention that you don’t know who else they’ve slept with. You don’t know what someone else they slept with has. You’re genuinely putting your health at risk every time you choose to share yourself with someone you barely know. Not to mention you’re risking making another human with a man you don’t even know would be a good father, if he chooses to acknowledge he’s the father at all (harsh, I know, but unfortunately very true). And if you do know them, you should feel comfortable enough to ask them about their sexual history, when the last time they got checked was AND to show you proof they are free of any STIs. If not, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with them. If they refuse or make excuses, you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping with them!

2. Stop looking for love, let it find you 

I won’t lie to you, this one took me a while to learn.  But I’ve mastered it now. Love is not something you find. I truly believe that. Love finds you when you are ready for it. Whether that be forever love or a love that’s meant to teach you and prepare you for the next level of life and eventually the next love. I was on dating apps on and off for years. I believe dating apps can help you gain experience and help you meet new people but in my opinion I don’t think they’re conducive to finding your forever love. There are exceptions to that just like there are to everything but I believe letting love find you when it’s meant to is the best way to do it. Now if you genuinely feel like you’re being called to use dating apps to find love than by all means do so, but do the work first and make sure it’s not just because you feel lonely, left out, impatient to find your person, or are afraid to be alone. I had to be honest with myself and say that I was on dating apps because I was being impatient. And after digging deeper into that I realized it was one of the reasons I was still single. I wasn’t letting love unfold when it was supposed to, I was looking for it and forcing it. You can’t force love no matter how hard you try. Since being honest with myself, I found that I would much rather find my love interests organically. Not having to force it by swiping right solely based on how the person looks and a shallow glance into their interests. If I meet someone with potential at a bookstore, I already know we have something in common, a love of reading. Plus, there is so much more to life than a romantic relationship. Focus on you and creating your ideal life. Date yourself. Treat yourself how you want someone to treat you one day. I know we’ve all heard those so much but there’s a reason for it, they’re true! Love will find you when it’s supposed to. What’s for you will never pass you.

These are some of the many lessons I’ve learned on my journey. I truly hope at least some of these taught you something or rang true for you. If so, send me a message I’d love to hear. Or if you have any questions on any of the topics I touched on, send me a message and I’ll expand on it!

With love,

DK

[staysaneathome]

This Was Not A Dare, Reigen

Jon glares at each of the— the suspects traitors in front of him, tape recorder clutched tight in one hand.

Martin, wringing his hands uselessly, eyes wide and beseeching. Tim, fists clenched hard enough for his knuckles to go white and returning his gaze with a death stare of his own. Sasha, arms folded to form a barrier between Jon and herself, expression a perfect mask of concern. Reigen, radiating disappointment in every one of his gestures and quips. Elias, eyes weary, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Some intervention this is turning out to be.

Jon wants to scream. Wants to reach out and shake someone, anyone, until they admit he’s making sense and it’s the rest of the world that’s gone mad.

Every single one of them (except Martin) could’ve killed Gertrude. He knows he has no proof that they did, but he has no proof that they didn’t either, can’t they see that? If they don’t want him to suspect them, it should be easy for them to actually give him proof of their innocence (like Martin did), instead of just repeating platitudes of “you know this isn’t acceptable adult behavior, Jon” and “you’re better than this, Jon”.

Who cares about knowing better or acceptable behavior when it’s your very life on the line? He’s half tempted to throttle the con artist, see how dignified or adult he is when he’s the one with a murderer on his tail!

…Not that Jon is a murderer. It’s just the principle of the thing, is all.

“Jon,” Elias says, tone soothing in all the ways he doesn’t want it to be. “This is absurd. This goes far beyond an unhealthy work environment. I’ll admit it’s partly my fault for letting it get this bad, I should have intervened earlier.”

Reigen cuts in with a hand gesture that is as effusive as it is dismissive. “That doesn’t make his behavior okay, Bouchard-san. It may be bad here, but Jon chose to follow me, Tim and Sasha, and yell at Martin, rather than going to the police or paying a detective, like Herlock Sholmes or something.”

Jon sputters. “Wh- It’s Sherlock Holmes, not—and he’s fictional!”

Reigen blinks sleepily, one eyebrow raised. “Oh? That doesn’t sound right. Are you sure?”

“Yes!” Jon all but shouts, rapidly reconsidering his stance on braining the sardonic little git with his tape recorder. “Don’t you even—an-and you’re deflecting again! Just like with your ridiculous ‘haunted gun’ nonsense!”

“I’m not!” Reigen says, clearly deflecting. “I’ve seen this kind of thing loads of times as the number one psychic. When a weapon kills lots of people over 100 years, the bad energy gets bigger and bigger until the gun grows an evil spirit and is hungry—”

“I refuse to believe Gertrude Robinson was murdered by a sentient blunderbuss!!”

“Be that as it may,” Elias interrupts, shooting them both a stern frown. “This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about, Jon. Given how badly it’s affected your work ethic, I will be taking direct action to ensure it does not continue.”

Jon can feel his shoulders hunch almost against his will, dread pooling in his stomach at the thought of whatever punishment is about to be unjustly inflicted on him.

Only Martin looks half as worried as he feels, glancing between him and Elias nervously. By contrast, Tim looks downright triumphant, smirk nasty and vindictive. Sasha’s somewhere between those two, not openly celebrating his soon-to-be-downfall, but not acting like she’d lift a finger on his behalf either, though he’s unsure why that feels like it should surprise him. She’s always been as neutral as Switzerland.

Reigen, oddly enough, has more in common with Martin than with Tim. He’s staring at Elias like he’s waiting for a bit of news he knows he won’t like.

Jon thinks he’d appreciate that more if he wasn’t about to be unfairly lambasted simply for trying to stop a murderer and bring justice for an old woman who probably died frightened and alone. Much like Jon probably will once he’s been hobbled by whatever Elias is about to say next.

“Such as by restricting access to the archives from members of the public who are ultimately doing you more harm than good.”

…Wait.

What?

“What?!” Tim, Martin, and Sasha echo.

Reigen glances between them all, blinking in confusion.

Jon shares the sentiment entirely. His punishment is…for someone else to be removed from the archives? Someone he doesn’t employ or even like that much, no less?

He must have misheard, surely.

Though maybe not, given how Tim looks aghast, glancing between Elias and Reigen. “Okay, no, Reigen’s clearly not the problem here—”

“I’m very sorry, Tim, but Jon has made several remarks about the disruptive nature of Mr. Arataka’s presence in the archives.” Elias sighs. “From the arguments like the one we just witnessed to the nonsensical purchases of oddities inspired by his presence, such as Duolingo subscriptions,” Meaningful glare at Jon who resists the urge to clutch his phone guiltily, “That are now billed on the Archives’ expenses, it unfortunately seems as though he is dragging down productivity for all of you as an active stressor.”

“But we’re much better equipped to take statements from people who don’t speak English because of that!” Martin protests, stepping forward. “Isn’t it an advantage to have a more, more international perspective for our work?”

“One positive in a sea of negatives does not an advantage make.” Elias says, sounding infuriatingly like he’s misquoting something. “And really Martin, how realistic is it that this would help in more than a few isolated cases? I expected better from you.”

Martin’s face crumples, and his shoulders hunch, making himself smaller.

Jon finds his own mouth opening to—what? Say something? What would he even say?

Luckily, Sasha intervenes before he can dig his own grave further. “That’s as may be, but he’s a wonder for morale. He and Jon are funny, not anything serious, and I don’t think we’d have come to you about Jon‘s behavior unless he encouraged us to—”

“Which only fits into the delusion where Jon feels an outsider is rallying his subordinates against him, which is not good for his paranoid outlook.” Elias replies calmly. “And it’s never a healthy work environment when one employee feels the others are making them the butt of a joke.”

“I’d say that’s not as bad as when the boss feels he has the right to violate everyone’s privacy whenever he wants to just ’cause he’s feeling sad!” Tim growls.

Elias begins to answer, before Reigen finally speaks up.

“Sorry,” The con artist says carefully. “But you are…«I know this one…» banning me from the Archives? Yes?”

“That is the long and short of it, yes.” Elias says, grudgingly

“Why?” Reigen challenges, eyes hard and searching. “What have I, personally, done that’s wrong here? What behavior do I need to correct?”

There’s a moment of silence. The whirring of the tape recorder sounds uncomfortably loud.

“Mr. Arataka, are you currently under the employ of the Magnus Institute?” Elias asks, brow furrowed.

“Ah, no, no, but—”

“Are you looking to become employed by the Institute at this point in time, as a prospective member of the Archival Staff?” He fires off rapidly.

“Su-Sorry, but if you could just go a little slower—”

“Then I am afraid that unless you’re looking to fill out an employment contract or a Statement form, we cannot help you, Mr. Arataka.” Elias spreads his hands wide. “We are an academic institution, a place of research and learning. The Institute cannot allow for social dalliances on company time, especially not when those visits are negatively contributing to the work environment and the wellbeing of our staff.”

Tim throws up his hands, “I-I cannot believe this!”

Reigen’s mouth works soundlessly for a moment.

“Arataka is my…what do you call it? First name?” He says, at last. “Using it in this context is…inappropriate. Please call me Reigen, if you would, Bouchard-san.”

“Of course. My mistake, Mr. Reigen.” Elias does have the decency to look somewhat abashed. “Though, regrettably, I am going to have to ask you to leave the premises within the next twenty minutes, or I will be forced to call security.”

Reigen nods, jerkily, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Jon almost wants to call out to the fraud as he turns to go, grab him by the shoulder, pick another argument, something. He knows he should be happy, be glad that this thorn in his side will finally stop bothering him, but instead he just feels—befuddled. Off-kilter.

What happened to the man who once spent three hours arguing for the “spiritual effectiveness” of entirely performative and useless rituals, saying that ensuring his clients left his office fooled and contented was better than actually uncovering genuine supernatural forces and learning all there was to know about them? Why is he going so-so easily now, when he’s made Jon fight tooth and nail in every debate he’s had with the so-called psychic?

At the door, the con man pauses.

“Bouchard-san. You said I could come back if I had a statement to give?”

Elias shifts in his seat, looking bemused. “W-well, yes. That is a service we do provide. Of course, the statement would have to be genuine, and verifiable as such before we let you back into the Archives.”

“We don’t even do that for most of the rubbish we do take,” Tim mutters under his breath, and though Jon is glad he’s not the one being shot a quelling look, he does have to agree.

The con man turns back.

He’s got that smirk on his face that immediately puts Jon’s hackles up on instinct, prepared to argue against whatever inane point he’s come up with now to defend his phony psychic title.

“Gotcha.” Reigen says, far too cheerfully. «Ja ne.»

Then he strolls out of the office, as cool as a cucumber.

Jon could even swear he hears him whistling as he makes his way down the stairs.

There’s a moment of stunned silence.

“I’d do him.” Sasha pipes up, unhelpfully.

“Sasha!” Martin hisses, scandalized. “D-don’t you have a, a—”

“Oh, I don’t have to worry about that.” She remarks, far too blasé for someone in a newly committed relationship. “Tom’s heard about him too, and he agreed he’s just our type.”

“And I’m not?” Tim jokes, but there’s a hard edge to it that Jon’s found himself increasingly familiar with in the past few weeks.

Sasha shrugs with a mischievous little smile, as if that mattered very little to her.

Elias coughs. “Right. Well. Whatever your relations to Mr. Reigen are, please try to limit them to outside the workplace in future.”

The rest of the intervention is surprisingly subdued. Elias gives Jon access to the footage from the cameras in the rest of the Institute, and Tim bodychecks him on the way out of the office, muttering about how nice it must be to never face any consequences for his actions. Sasha follows, the way she won’t meet his eyes a condemnation in its own right.

Even Martin doesn’t say anything to him, just bites his lip and hurries past back down to the Archives. It doesn’t sting. It doesn’t.

Even as he settles in to watch and rewatch the CCTV records of Gertrude’s last week alive, Jon can’t shake the ridiculous feeling of foreboding that’s dogged him since Reigen left.

Most of him wants to say it comes from the fact that despite the fact that Reigen has not appeared in any of the camera records for the Magnus Institute before he started his term as Head Archivist in 2016, isn’t banning him from the Archives just letting the con man run around London with impunity, with no way for Jon to ascertain his movements or motives? That instead of solving a problem, Elias has just given a potential murderer free reign to escape?

But a small part of Jon, one that never could deny the sensation of being watched, that is frozen in second-hand terror whenever he reads a Statement, knows, Knows that it this stems more from the idea that the fraud will actually accomplish what Elias has unwittingly challenged him to do.

The illogical but pervasive surety that he will do so.

Jon’s not sure if he’s more afraid that Reigen Arataka will vanish entirely, another unfortunate victim become an unsolved mystery.

Or that he’ll come back, and bring whatever he’s managed to unearth on his insane quest with him.

[lananiscorner]

FE3H route review and thoughts - Azure Moon

This was the first route I played, and I am fully aware that this may bias my view a bit, but imo, Azure Moon remains the best route of Three Houses. I certainly found it to be the most emotionally engaging one, the one where it did actually feel like there had been a war going on for five years, where it did feel like there were actual stakes to the battles, where I genuinely cared about every character in the house and wanted them to succeed. A lot of this has to do with my own tastes in narrative (I live for stories that are not afraid to get dark for a while, but not forever, and that do not dilute the ugliness of trauma). Rest beneath the cut, because it got long:

Things I really liked about this route, in no particular order:

The Tragedy of Duscur (ToD) having had a tangible effect on almost every character in the house, which provides a tragic backbone to their story (with the exception of Mercedes, but she had enough crap going on in her life already).

The Lions feeling at once like the closest knit and yet most fractured group of the three classes—there are deep friendships and honest affection here between most of the Lions, but they are all complicated by the toll the ToD took on them.

The gradually growing sense of unease, as you catch more and more glimpses of Dimitri not being well. It's like watching cracks appear in the walls of a beautiful building and you can tell the entire thing is gonna come down eventually, you just don't know when.

Dimitri's response to Jeralt's death (best of the three, always and forever).

Dimitri's reaction to the Flame Emperor reveal. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I am so glad they went there and pulled no punches.

The reunion in the goddess tower made me cry.

The way Dimitri's psychotic break was integrated into gameplay (no teatime, no meals, no tutoring, all his battle quotes being so much more negative), and yet at the same time, even as early as chapter 14, you could tell that "the good Dimitri" was still somewhere in there, that not all hope was lost.

The other characters actually being allowed to voice their doubts/disagreements of Dimitri, even if usually not directly to his face, e.g. the fact that we got multi-faceted takes (political, personal, military) from all the Lions about the pros and cons of going to Fhirdiad vs. going to Enbarr, Rodrigue straight up saying "no, you'll listen to me, Dimitri", Sylvain still being wary after Dimitri's recovery, because while he may want to forgive his friend, it's hard to forget what he did. People being genuinely glad that he recovered.

The fact that Dimitri's recovery, while seemingly overnight and one-and-done on the surface, is explicitly NOT that. Dimitri still feels unworthy of affection and kindness after he retakes Fhirdiad. He admits he still holds resentment towards Edelgard, even as he acknowledges that he should try to talk to her and see if there's a peaceful solution. He still has nightmares of Duscur and he still hears voices and sees ghosts, even as far as into his S support with Byleth. Hell, he admits he'll likely hear and see them until the day he dies. As someone who is grappling with lifelong disabilities and mental health issues, I appreciate a narrative that so openly goes "this is always gonna suck to some extent, but you are still worthy of affection and support, and you can STILL have a full life".

Excellent execution of the concept of setup and payoff. E.g. Rodrigue: we first meet him in chapter 5 and learn of how important he is to Dimitri, we hear of him in exploration and supports with Felix. When he shows up in chapter 15, he's no stranger, and we immediately understand why Dimitri reacts so much more warmly to him and why Rodrigue is so much more direct in his disagreement with Dimitri than most other people, because we already know these two have a close, personal quasi father-son relationship. We then get two chapters of Rodrigue asking us to help guide Dimitri, so when he dies at the end of chapter 17, it is neither a surprise that he dies (we already had daddy Jeralt die in chapter 9, dads in FE apparently don't live long in general), nor that his death shakes Dimitri to his core and helps shape his mindset after he breaks down in the rain.

Another example is the dagger: we start with jokes from Sylvain, then hear about Dimitri having gifted Edelgard a dagger as a farewell gift when they were kids, so when the Flame Emperor drops a dagger and Dimitri has his "oh no" reaction, we can already tell where this is going, even if we do not want it to be true. It is how Hitchcock once described: when you simply have a bomb explode, you only get 5 seconds of shock, but if you show the audience the bomb earlier, you have suspense until it explodes. When Dimitri gives the dagger back to Edelgard at the end of the parley, we understand its significance. When Edelgard uses that same dagger to try to kill him, we understand the tragedy behind that action, because the game actually bothered to set up why this specific dagger is important.

Likewise, excellent incorporation of the theme of "duty vs. want" into the development of every single character in this house.

The Blue Lions bulldozing over all the important Slithers people without even knowing they are Slithers is utterly HILARIOUS.

This is the only route where both Claude and Dimitri get to live. And they part on good terms! And Rhea gets to live too!

Protodemocracy in my pseudo-medieval faux Europe? More likely than you think!

This is the house of handsome bisexual men and I am all here for that. (I am also here for bi Mercedes, and Ingrid and Annette are my gals, even though I see them as straight as arrows, going by their support chains and endings).

Things I didn't like/would have changed:

Felix really should have been called out on his dehumanizing language/behavior outside of supports. I'm supposed to be playing the rule of his teacher—let me tell him to knock that shit off.

Dedue dying by default unless you do his paralogue is nuts and the fact that the only character this can happen to happens to be a bisexual POC and genocide survivor who frequently encounters racism is, um, not a good look.

Related to that, Dedue should definitely have been there during that scene with Count Kleiman's man. Ideally, Ingrid should have been there, too.

Rodrigue's death seriously should have had a cutscene, because if not for the phenomenal voice acting, that scene would have tanked so hard.

Dedue and the other Lions (especially the Faerghus Four), should have been more involved in stopping Dimitri from running off to his doom after Rodrigue's death and in supporting him in finding new purpose in life. That way, his declaration to Edelgard that he learned how important people supporting each other is thanks to the professor and everyone else in his life would have made a lot more sense.

Either Dimitri's solo ending or Byleth's should have at least mentioned the Slithers (e.g. change Byleth's to: "He/She helped to guide the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and crush Those Who Slither In The Dark, and worked..."), because let's face it: 1) There's no way Byleth nor Dimitri would just drop this thread, since, for all they know, Thales—the guy who is at least partially responsible for the ToD and Jeralt's death—is still out there. 2) If Hubert trusted the church enough to implore them to fight the Slithers after Edelgard's defeat, then surely he left a letter for the Kingdom as well. Don’t think we should have fought them in-game on this route, because that’s not what the route was about, but having it acknowledged outside of DLC would have been nice.

Would have liked Dimitri to have at least one support chain with one of the Black Eagles. Ferdinand, Dorothea or Petra would be three good candidates imo (Ferdinand for discussions on the obligations of nobility, possibly giving us a look into the differences between Empire and Kingdom nobility; Petra because they have similar “the needs of the people are more important than my own” attitudes, but different approaches to how to deal with that, also Petra is the most likely defector from the Empire imo and at the end of AM, Dimitri will be the one she’ll have to negotiate with regarding Brigid; Dorothea and Dimitri both abhor killing and like helping orphans, but otherwise very different likes and interests, which would have been interesting to explore.)

Even so, Azure Moon remains my favorite route, and is definitely the one I’ll be replaying for fun at least once, and the one I’ll use for my “golden” playthrough in NG+.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Dating Kuroo + Kenma

I deleted the ask on accident so please forgive me on that, it said something along the lines of ‘can you do fluff with what it would be like to be dating both Kuroo and Kenma at the same time” so sorry!  

Words:1.4 k 

Warnings; None

A?N: I just figured out that my anon was off so now my requests can be anon!!! 

also I kinda loved this and may do a NSFW part 

Literally always something new and unexpected like you can never plan what you are going to find when you walk in the door

Kuroo is going to be in charge of most of the dates and is going to end up dragging you and Kenma (mostly you) across the entire town for fun 

He likes to take you out a lot and is going to treat you and Kenma to nights out while Kenma is going to like to stay at home more and do more tame things that are more along the lines of playing against each other in games or baking

Kuroo is your go to person to cuddle in this relationship because if Kenma is streaming or playing it is going to be completely one sided until he is done but Kuroo is going to give you all of his attention almost immediately 

BUTTTT when Kenma wants to cuddle he is literally the best person to cuddle with in the entire world and you and Kuroo will fight for his attention 

Kenma will wrap his arms around you and kiss your temples while telling you that he loves you, it is the best experience in the world and you wouldn’t trade it for anything 

If Kuroo walks in on the two of you cuddling without him he is going to give you both a hard time then come join in 

Otherwise if you guys are sitting on the couch or whatever Kuroo is typically in the middle with at least an arm around you both 

You each take a meal to be incharge of for the week and that ends with Kenma having the best choices of food that are also super easy to make, Kuroo burning something at least once that week (usually when it is his turn to do dinner) and you have to order takeout or something instead

When it is Kuroo’s turn to pack lunches he always puts little messages inside of them with something cute but also forgets to put an ice pack in with the food so you will end up with warm yogurt

Kuroo is bigger with PDA and showing you two that he loves you in more outward ways and is not afraid to be out there 

Kenma is going to show you guys that he cares by taking baths with you, or helping Kuroo practice and coming to his games, he is the type that shows affection in little ways and doesn't even think about any big gestures or anything like that 

Kenma also likes to get you both little things that remind him of you, he will be out at a con or something doing a panel and sees a little pin of a scruffy cat and is going to immediately get it for Kuroo and gets you one of a cute little snail 

Kenma does the grabby hands towards both of you when he wants affection, he likes to have contact with one of you while he’s gaming and likes when you two rest up against him because it is affection but he also doesn't have to stop playing 

Bed time is always an adventure because the boys either go to bed at 9:00 sharp of 3 am and there is absolutely no inbetween, if it is an 9 o’clock night for one of them you will go check on the other, give them a couple of good night kisses and go lay in bed with the other 

Typically you sleep in the middle so that the two can climb into bed whenever they want and not have to worry about disturbing you with their commotion 

Kuroo likes to wrap his arms around you to fall asleep and is not going to like to let go of you which can be horrible because he is a human heater and you’re too sweet to push him off of you but when he does it to Kenma he is going to get shut down

Kenma likes cuddles before bed but is not down for someone wrapping their arms around him because he is going to feel trapped, but he will happily do it to someone else

 They take turns being the big and little spoon but they don’t like being the spoons next to each other because they always complain that the other one’s breath is too hot or they are looking at the other funny or something 

They both like to sleep because it is more comfortable and Kuroo will definitely try and pressure you into sleeping shirtless too and you have to admit that it does work sometimes and neither of them will complain

You and Kenma constantly steal Kuroo’s shirts and he can’t complain but he also needs more than three items in his drawer so he has started to hide some of his shirts from you so that he can actually get dressed 

When you go clothes shopping Kuroo is going to hype you up and lot and is going to tell you how amazing you look and Kenma is going to give you little smiles and nods of approval

Kenma has an eye for fashion and will choose things out for the two of you that look amazing on you 

Kuroo on the other hand would wear an all neon shirt if it’s what they had in his size, but he secretly likes the two of you choosing things out for him because it makes him super happy to know that you think he looks good and likes the affection from it

Kenma is super picky when it comes to himself and you two are going to have to promise him that it looks nice about a thousand times before he will get it because he is going to be happy in one of his sweatshirts otherwise

But when he gets a nice outfit likes to show it off and go on a nice date with it

Neither of them accept any criticism on their relationship and will not let people say anything negative about it

SO protective and loving when you guys are out in public, the two of them are going to be sending glares at everyone who even looks at you and does not let you go anywhere without one of them 

Secretly they love doing a lot of the domestic shit with you like Kenma loves going grocery shopping with you because you just look so cute and he can see his whole future right there (you don’t let Kuroo go anymore because he likes to put one of everything in the cart then intimidate the cashier by smirking at them and watching everything too carefully, so now it’s a weekly thing for you and Kenma 

Kenma eventually comes out with merch and has you and Kuroo be the models for his website and is going to tell you how cute you look and will absolutely die if you help him with the designs 

Kuroo is always down to play with Kenma and if you know video games they love when you join them too but if you don’t they think that your commentary is adorable and honestly is their favorite part of it all because you couldn’t be more wrong and Kuroo will tease you relentlessly until Kenma makes him stop

You get to do your babies hair and they love it, you can try your best to tame Kuroo’s horrible mess of hair and sometimes it ends up looking amazing but other times it somehow looks more messy

Kenma’s is way easier and honestly a lot more fun, you got him to start using your leave in conditioner so his hair is really soft and easy to put into cute styles, he loves when you get it out of his face and likes you doing it so much that he won’t put his hair up unless you do it and it’s honestly adorable 

They both try and do your hair from time to time as a way of showing you that the actually know what they are doing or being affectionate and it is usually just them brushing your hair and giving you little kisses

Kuroo has to have a goodbye kiss from one of you every single time he leaves and he won’t go unless you kiss him so you better expect it and when he gets back he likes to pull both of you into a big hug and kiss as a sign of his affection and showing that he missed you

[vallonde-laid-bare]

DM Tip #3: Signposting and Player Autonomy

On player hand-holding and plot advancement

One discussion I see pop up time and again in tabletop gaming circles is the classic "Open-world Vs. Railroading" argument. Do you run your games open-world and allow your players to influence that world, or do you run story-heavy games where the players move along a predetermined path to experience a story you've meticulously crafted? While both of these are legitimate styles of play with their own pros and cons, I think many people miss the fact that you can, and in my opinion should, incorporate both of these into how you run games to best fit achieve what you and your players want out of a campaign. Let's run over both extremes and then we'll talk integrating both fluidly into how you run session. This discussion will probably be most useful for inexperienced DMs since most of this is fairly basic, but feel free to read on regardless.

OPEN-WORLD, PLAYER-DRIVEN PLOT: This is a very enticing style of game for a lot of players. Getting dropped into a whole fantasy world with little more than your wits and your companions to keep you alive and win your fortune is very fun, and getting to explore and effect the world as you see fit can be exhilarating. These games often involve a large number of smaller plots happening simultaneously, sometimes with a larger plot tying them all together, many of which directly involve the players or are affected in some way by what they've done. There are obvious pros to running this style of game:

- You have the freedom to include a lot of different things, from plots to monsters to organizations, which is great for DMs and players who have tons of ideas or get bored of doing the same thing easily.

- Player choice is given a high priority and this can greatly improve immersion and player investment.

- When properly run, open-world games can truly feel alive. Story-driven games may tell a great story, but feeling free inside that story is much more rare.

- It's great improv experience!

But, while there's a lot of good to go around here, there are also cons to consider:

- Open-world games are a LOT of work for the DM. Where plot DMs usually start a campaign already knowing where things will be going at any given time, open-world DMs will usually be writing the plot as it happens which means drastically increased amounts of prep if you don't want the stories you tell to come off as shallow and unrefined.

- Not all players do well in these types of games. Some need direction and purpose otherwise they'll just feel lost and listless.

- As the DM of an open-world game, you HAVE to be able to improvise. A DM that isn't a skilled improviser is going to make plot and interactions incoherent and stilted. Names, backstories, connections to people and places within the setting, you need to be able to come up with this stuff on the fly, even more-so than in a standard story-driven game.

- You'll need a fleshed out world to make this work. Even as a skilled improvisor, if you don't have a large world with compelling details and realistic interactions between its people, places, and events, your players will feel it as a lack of compelling choices

STORY-DRIVEN, PLOT-CENTRIC: On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have campaigns that are plot-driven. In these games, players follow a path that takes them through a pre-written story and are generally discouraged from moving beyond the boundaries of that plot. Modules and official campaigns follow this formula, which makes it the "Default" mode of play for a lot of people; when you think of D&D, plot-centric games tend to be what you imagine. As with open-world games, there are obvious pros and cons to playing like this

- The story told will almost always be better, or at least more coherent and sensible, and usually more well-paced. Knowing what is happening and where your players will go with what you give them makes writing compelling content worlds easier. Your twists can be readied far in advance and tweaked to make them perfect. Your NPCs can be fleshed out and perfectly placed. Story pacing will be less difficult to maintain and often more intriguing.

- Campaigns like this are much easier on the DM. You have less prep and the prep you do will be more focused and effective. Instead of trying to flesh out 10 plots in a week, you can focus on making the story you tell the best it can be. A lot of prep time is wound up in moving plot forward and maintaining coherency, and if you already know where things are going that's a far easier mountain to climb.

- Players have less decisions to make! This may seem like a negative, but a lot of groups suffer from choice paralysis or become split on what they'd like to do at any given point. By giving them an obvious road forward and making it the only viable road forward, you bring your players together and give them unity of purpose which is something you can't discount. 

Since this is real life and nothing is perfect, let's go over what I see as the major cons of this play style:

- It's narrow and doesn't encourage creativity and player initiative. When your players are given the obvious path forward on a silver platter, they often become complacent and let the plot happen to them instead of guiding the story with their actions.

- These games aren't always good for those of us (player or DM) that doesn't focus well. If your players aren't connecting with the plot happening around them or you're not having fun with the direction things are going, too bad. As a DM running a homebrew game you can fix this if you're not enjoying the path you've laid out for the campaign, but as a player you have little recourse other than petitioning your DM for some sort of shakeup. This is especially difficult with published campaigns because everything is already written down and finalized. If you change things much, that book is no longer going to help you run your game.

- In a lot of circumstances, running these games can make your world feel small. Adventure may be just over the horizon, a new civilization just beyond that border, but those aren't for you. You've got other things going on.

There are plenty of ways to mitigate the drawbacks and play to the pros of both styles, but there are two things to consider before choosing one for your campaign.

1.) What do your players want? This is a session 0 or pre-session 0 question. If you start with a foundation your players will enjoy, you're already on your way to running a successful campaign. What you want is important as well, but if what you want doesn't align with what the players want maybe you should reassess the viability of running that game with those players. Even if your players are having a great time, if you're not enjoying yourself it will become obvious and the game will feel tedious. Remember, D&D is a collaborative game; EVERYONE should be having a good time, not just the players and not just the DM. 

2.) What are you and your players equipped to handle? Do they have the motivation to push a plot without hand-holding? Do you have the time to effectively run that game? Does your world have the content for that kind of game? Even if you and your players want to run an open-world game, if you can't commit to making it work then the odds are it will fall flat fairly quickly.

From my experience with both game styles, I can say with some amount of confidence that some degree of hybridization of the styles will usually be the answer to this question. Since every group and every game is different, the best I can give you a couple of pointers and let you take it from there.

- The illusion of choice is a powerful tool. Even if there’s a choice of ten different towns for the players to go to, you only technically need to build one; the one they choose to visit. If you build a dungeon and then your players choose not to check it out, they’ll never know if you reuse it later on. This can help you keep up with the large amount of prep that open world games require while preserving the experience for your players.

- Figure out how important the story, alongside other elements of game play, is to your players. The more important they find the story, the more you should consider playing a linear game. When beginning a campaign, I have my players rank these different categories from 1-7 in order of importance to them, 7 being the most important and 1 being the least. By doing this I can get a numerical ranking of different aspects of the game and build sessions that will best cater to their desires and expectations. - Combat - Social encounters - Puzzle solving - Dungeon crawls - Story - Side-quests - Loot 

- Build the beginning and end of the story, but let your players fill in the middle. A gentle guiding hand can connect even the most random events with a little finesse, so even if your players are choosing where to go, the fact that you’re influencing your player’s choices may as well mean you’re calling the shots.

- Even if you hand-hold your players at every turn of the story, you can give them choice in the form of non-essential side quests. Sprinkle these bad boys throughout the story and have the outcomes of the party’s decisions have some call-back further into the story. Proper management of side quests can go a long way toward making a railroad seem more scenic.

- Have your players visit somewhere exotic at some point in the campaign. Doesn’t matter if it’s only brief, moving beyond the boundaries you’ve set for the campaign can make the world feel much larger.

Ok so that was very long and rambley and probably nothing the pros out there don’t already know, but I hope there was something in the non-sense that may help a new DM decide how they want to structure their first game. Being prepared for what you’re getting yourself into can make actually getting into it a lot easier lol. (Art by Grimley Fiendish)

[mbti-notes]

Do you have an opinion on the affects of social media on developing cognitive functions, specifically teenagers? I am asking with regard to navigating my son's adolescence. He is 16 and while the last few years have been more turbulent than previous years (with no doubt more to come) I think the road has been made substantially smoother as a direct result of me being able to access your blog, thank you. I don't feel inclined to limit his social media use, it's a part of life now, but it would be

[con’t: helpful to have some signs to look out for. I originally typed my son as Si dom with T preference and was trying to encourage his Te but now I’m thinking he’s more like INTP so I’ve changed my strategy to keep an open mind (and develop the patience of a saint LOL) and help him make the right decisions for himself. He has become more reckless and scattered lately with high value placed on acceptance from friends. Could this be Ne or does social media have a larger influence?]

I’m glad that you find the blog helpful and I admire your devotion to parenting. You raise a lot of interesting issues, though I may not be the best person to ask since I tend to have a negative opinion of social media. Parenting teenagers requires walking a very, very fine line between giving them enough guidance to avoid bad decision making vs giving them enough freedom to learn proper independence. It’s a very hard job. Sometimes, the only way to know that you’ve veered too far one way or the other is by making the mistake and then adjusting your approach - lots of trial and error. Every kid is an individual, so what works for one kid won’t necessarily work for another. Being able to adapt to their needs is the key point. It’s art more than science.

Everything has its positive and its negative side. Human beings tend to be short-sighted and easily rationalize bad decision making. When they really want to do something, they are much more likely to envision the benefits of doing it and this then blinds them to the costs. To be a good parent, I think it’s important to teach children how to recognize negative consequences and navigate them more intelligently (i.e. objective assessment of pros and cons that produces rational decision making). However, this is only possible if parents themselves are capable of it. You can’t expect kids to learn how to do something well without someone to teach them or model it for them. Unfortunately, I know plenty of adults of all ages who misuse social media just as badly as their kids. Kids learn predominantly through example, so you have to be the first one to follow the rules that you set. If you don’t follow any rules yourself, they won’t see the point in following any, either. For example, if all they see of you is your nose in your device, why would they put theirs down?

I don’t believe in banning kids from social media, but I do think it’s a good idea to be smart in limiting its usage. Social media shouldn’t be a substitute for real and meaningful human interaction, it shouldn’t take up so much time that important things get neglected, it shouldn’t interfere with maintaining good physical and mental health, and it shouldn’t be used as an escape. Teenagers become harder and harder to supervise as they get older because they increasingly have their own life going on. At a certain point, there’s no imposing rules on them because violating their autonomy only leads to rebellion.

A better strategy is to sit down with them to talk about the importance of using social media in HEALTHY ways, talk about why limits are necessary to avoid the negative/unhealthy aspects of it, and negotiate with them to come up with sensible limits that both of you can live with. If YOU also spend too much time on social media, then it’s even better to join them in adhering to those limits, to model the behavior that you expect from them and give them the feeling of being in it together. When you place limits on one aspect of life, it’s a good idea to expand yourself in other ways so as to minimize the feeling of “missing out”. For example, if you use social media for social connection, then compensate for limiting social media by making more effort to go out and join interesting social activities. Putting limits on fun means increasing boredom, so make sure that the boredom is addressed with a healthier option.

Social media is relatively new, so there isn’t a big enough body of research about its hidden effects or underlying costs. The few studies that have been done about social media mostly seem to suggest that misuse/overuse has very detrimental effects on psychological well-being. The spread of misinformation is a big problem (i.e. it makes people stupid). Cyber-bulling and violation of privacy are big problems. When you are so plugged in to other people’s lives, it’s hard not to engage in social comparison, and this often results in negative self-appraisals that diminish self-regard. This is particularly destructive for teenagers because they haven’t yet developed a very strong sense of self and are very likely to use other people’s judgment as a barometer of their own self-worth. Adolescence is usually the time that people start to grapple with level 2 ego development. It’s important for teenagers to learn how to socialize well and fit in with others, but it’s also important for them to learn the dangers of choosing the wrong socializing methods.

People at level 2 ego development are very prone to: experiencing shame/anxiety/depression via negative social comparisons, blindly following the ingroup (and rejecting the outgroup), and sacrificing self-care as they succumb to peer pressure. Helping them is not a matter of trying to stop them from doing these things, because you can’t, since doing these things is a natural part of that stage of development. What you can do is offer them guidance about self-care and help them think more critically about the best ways to handle peer pressure (i.e. give them options/strategies for working through real situations), in hopes that they’ll learn how to make better decisions. In the event that they make a bad decision, review the mistake with them. Reflect with them to figure out what went wrong and work with them to brainstorm ideas for how to avoid the same mistake in the future. Ask them what they could’ve done differently (this encourages N development). The PAIN of making mistakes is an efficient way to learn, which means that you shouldn’t be in there “helping” to the point that they don’t feel the pain of their mistakes.

Discipline is necessary for giving kids a sense of structure. To internalize a sense of structure is to possess a mental framework for making good decisions (usually requires developing the judging functions). At the very least, a child should have their parent’s way of critical thinking at hand whenever they aren’t able to solve a problem entirely on their own (i.e. “what would mom/dad advise me to do?”). Always be transparent, fair, and consistent in how you punish kids by explaining your decision, why it’s necessary, and what lesson it’s meant to teach them (e.g. self-care, intelligence, respect, patience, etc). This makes it more likely that they eventually internalize your moral lessons and learn to use them even when you’re not present. If you punish unfairly or disproportionately, if you’re a hypocrite, or if you’re inconsistent with punishments, you risk losing their respect, which, in their mind, means that they no longer have to listen to you.

Unfortunately, some kids don’t learn well the first time around and you have to discipline them to get the point across. You can develop a punishment scale that begins with a mild punishment for the first mistake and then increase the severity of the punishment for every instance of repeating the mistake. While I admire your patience, I’m sure you know that laissez faire parenting also has its problems. Overly permissive parents run the risk of losing their child’s respect because it’s easy to fall into the trap of devaluing your own needs whenever the child tests your rules and boundaries, and they will absolutely trample your boundaries if you give the impression of not having any. When you devalue your position of authority in the relationship, you encourage kids to do the same, and then you become a mere source of food or money and nothing else to them. This also enables them to be narcissistic in their approach to others.

I’m not sure how good you are at communicating, just in case it’s needed, I’ll continue on to say that I believe that one of the most important elements of parenting is establishing a strong sense of trust. If your kid trusts you, they’ll feel more confident about making independent decisions because they know that you’re there to help them should they need it, and sometimes it’s enough that you’re with them “spiritually” in their memory of lessons learned. The best way to build trust is to keep the lines of communications open. Good communication isn’t about trying to pry information or performing the role of judge jury and executioner. People, let alone teenagers, won’t want to communicate with you if they suspect that all you’re doing is judging them or just looking for an excuse to criticize them (and teens likely get enough of this from their peers).

Communication should come from the heart, use inquiry and sharing of feelings to show that you genuinely care about what’s going on with them. Good communication should work both ways: listen to each other carefully, be transparent about your motives, be honest about how you feel and what you need, negotiate compromises, and respect each other’s individual autonomy. You should model the kind of respect that you want them to give to you (I can’t count the number of times that I’ve seen parents trying to teach their kids to be more respectful… by shouting at them angrily). When they are out of line, remain calm, hear what they’re feeling (validation), then explain to them that you/people are more likely to take them seriously when they express their feelings maturely. Give them an example sentence of how to express feelings or requests respectfully.

Teenagers are emotional creatures, they live in the emotions of now and don’t respond well to appeals to the future. This can’t be helped because it’s part of adolescent brain development, so give them some leeway to get their feelings out, but use the chance to teach better communication methods. Sometimes it’s necessary to give them cooling off time before instigating a serious discussion. Recklessness is usually rooted in emotion. Some kids are reckless out of boredom, some out of anxiety, etc. Try to identify the underlying emotion that’s motivating the problem and then you’ll have a better chance of coming up with a good solution. For example, if boredom (or excess energy) is the motivation, then enroll them in productive activities to fill up their time. If anxiety is the motivation, then they need to learn better emotional management skills, perhaps get them a bit of light counseling on the topic from school or a local community organization.

An important part of establishing trust that is often overlooked is the notion of equality. A parent-child relationship is naturally unequal in power, but it doesn’t have to be excessively and unnecessarily unequal. There are a lot of different kinds of communication, since people communicate with different intents/purposes depending on the circumstances. More often than not, parents only talk to their kids in “parent mode” of ordering them around, interrogating them, or criticizing them. If this is the only mode that kids get to see from you, then they will view you as an authoritarian and their approach to you will be rooted in fear of punishment and the desire for escape. This makes it very difficult for them to trust you because you’ve taught them that your role is to supervise and discipline and nothing else, which means that everything they do will be as far away from your watchful warden eyes as possible.

There’s no avoiding “parent mode” as a parent. However, you can avoid making that the ONLY mode. A better strategy is to pick your battles wisely so that you use parent mode as sparingly as possible, especially with teenagers that are always pressing you for more freedom. But if you’re not using parent mode, then you have to know how to communicate with them in other modes, otherwise, communication tends to dry up quickly. To build trust, do more activities with them and spend more time talking to them in a way that establishes both of you as persons on equal footing. To be clear, I’m not talking about the cliche of being friends with your kids; I believe that you should maintain the position of parental authority until they reach adulthood. I’m talking about communicating heart-to-heart so that they get to know who you are outside of your parental role. Be more willing to share your feelings with them such that they feel encouraged to share theirs with you. Within reason, share with them what’s on your mind and let them in on what’s happening in your private world. You don’t want to let them in completely, however, because you still need to command enough respect to have some authority over them. Talk about problems you’ve encountered or struggled with and how you felt about them, but also talk about what you did to resolve them, which gives them good examples to learn from.

Rebellion is a natural reaction to feeling excessively restricted, and it’s natural for teenagers to feel restricted regardless of whether you are objectively restricting them, because their main preoccupation is independence. Children tend to project their psychological problems onto their parents, and you can make it harder for them to demonize you by humanizing yourself enough for them to empathize with your experience. By communicating in heart-to-heart mode more often than in listen-and-obey mode, they learn that the relationship between you matters in its quality of love and care, not just in whether they follow your rules. When you successfully establish a sense of mutual appreciation for each other, they learn to see you as a person with your own needs and desires, and then they’ll have less desire to rebel against you. If your kid understands that your “parent mode” is just one part of you but that the greater part of you is a fellow human, then their rebellion is likely to take a softer, more respectful form. As a result of trust and good communication, they are more likely to consider negotiating with you first before running off to do something dumb just to spite you. Let them know that you’re always open to calm and sensible negotiations/compromises because it gives them the sense of having some say in the matter. As you gradually “equalize” the relationship through heart-to-heart communication, it’s then easier to transition into an adulthood friendship with them in the future.

From the child’s perspective, I distinctly remember when my parents switched modes with me, perhaps you can recall your experience as well. My mother had a strict rule of never involving kids in adult affairs, ever. Both of my parents come from big families and they all grew up together in a small town (11 siblings between them), so there was always lots of drama going on behind the scenes, but my brother and I were completely oblivious to it growing up. My parents were quite stoic with us and we never really knew what they were thinking, so the relationships were often quite strained because communication was virtually non-existent.

You can imagine my shock when, one day, in my twenties, I was just minding my own business as usual and mom comes into the room and complains about this or that relative. She proceeds to tell me the entire 20+ year backstory of their horrible relationship. I thought she had gone mad for spilling all this shocking info to me out of the blue. Signs of early onset dementia already? But then I realized that this was a role change. I was no longer the kid who had to be kept in the dark. I was now a person who was worthy of being treated as a confidant and even someone smart enough to seek advice from. It was a bittersweet moment. Sweet because, starting in adolescence, people hanker to be treated as an adult by their parents. Bitter because she had decisively given up her authoritarian role and now I had absolutely no cause to keep rebelling against her, lol. The point is, she could’ve given up her authoritarian role more gradually by easing me into the role change in mid-to-late adolescence. We wasted many years being at odds with each other because she couldn’t recognize the ways that I had matured. And some parents aren’t flexible enough to ever make the switch.

In the end, you can only do your best. If I had to come up with a motto about parenting it would be that “Attention is love”. Just be attentive and respond to what’s important to them. Teens appreciate your care even when they don’t show it or claim to not want it, so long as you respect their emotional needs.

PS: There’s already a parenting title on the resources list about teenagers and social media that might be of help.

[thathonleygirl]

The Beginning

November 2019 – June 2020 Background

I decided to start this documentation of my journey into motorcycling for many reasons, mainly because I want to work on my writing skills and sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the mindless scrolling. I also think I’ll enjoy going back and reading this when I’m less of a rookie I’ll be recreating the timeline from the MSF course to the present from memory. I decided to dive into motorcycling as a hobby for myself, and also as a hobby for me to share with my boyfriend of 2+ years, Chris. Ultimately I can confidently say he inspired me to ride on my own and has been so supportive every step of the way.

November 2019 – MSF Class & getting my motorcycle endorsement I remember this weekend like it was yesterday. It was a freezing weekend and I’m out in the parking lot of RCCC bundled up from head to toe. I was happy it was cold because I was super nervous and excited, and heat stresses me out. There’s about 15 of us in the class, and right off the bat everyone is super friendly because we’re all here for the same thing – there was defiantly a wide range of skill levels and reasons for taking the class – but we’re all there for the same class. The two teachers of the class were AWESOME, and I’ll remember them for the rest of my riding career. They took us through the basics – controls, friction zone, etc. and soon we were riding through the first set of drills. My bike was a Kawasaki Eliminator from the 1800’s and it kept shutting off due to the cold weather. It also was impossible to find neutral, even the instructors couldn’t find it – I was just relieved that it wasn’t operator error. At the end of the 1st riding day they both told me they were impressed and proud of how I did – which meant so much to me considering I had never touched a clutch before, lol. The second day was a little rough, but still a success, mainly because I began to overthink every little thing because I knew there was going to be a test at the end of the day. This is when I first learned the importance of your headspace when on the bike, and how too much anxiety can be catastrophic. That being said, I still passed the class and got my endorsement the next week I really wish I had gotten the contact info for the people in the class, but the excitement of passing the class got the best of me.

March 2020 – Meeting Jolene I’d be lying if I said the process of bringing Jolene home was smooth, and the truth is I have a newfound hatred for dealerships and salespeople, LOL. But it was all well worth it. I went to Team Charlotte Motorsports with the intention of buying a Honda Rebel 500 in all black, but was disappointed when they didn’t have the right colors, and the bike just didn’t feel right when I first sat on one. But oh boy, when I first sat on Jolene I knew she was the one and I knew I had to have her. I’ve always been super laid back but when my mind is set on something, I get DETERMINED. After leaving the dealership because the price was too high, I began to obsess. After a week of negotiating and an extra fiery in-person negotiation, I finally got the price I wanted and Chris rode her home the next day. The whole process was rewarding in the sense of getting what I want and not backing down!

March-April 2020 – Attitude Adjustment I was off to a ROCKY start, and a few times I lost a lot of hope and had a lot of “WTF did I get myself into?!” moments in my first few loops around our neighborhood. My bike felt 100x heavier and harder to maneuver than my Eliminator, and my nerves were getting the best of me. I was scared to even let out the clutch at first. But after a few times stalling, I was doing loops in first gear around the neighborhood. On the third round of neighborhood loops, I was having a moment overthinking a left turn from a stop sign, and dropped the bike after it stalled and jerked in the middle of the turn. It was a devastating moment because my immediate reaction was that I just ruined my brand new bike in less than 100 miles, and the salt in the wound was the fact that I couldn’t pick the bike up. Luckily, a good Samaritan neighbor was close by with help, and the bike was totally fine (just wasn’t in neutral so it wouldn’t start). Not even a scratch, I’m a lucky girl. I spent some time feeling sorry for myself and hopeless but that was getting me nowhere. In that moment, I realized one theme in all my “practice” – I was scared of my bike, and was not taking control over her like I should be. I began to try and change my mindset, and just love the fuck out of her like she was my best friend. It’s crazy how much your mental state affects performance, especially on a motorcycle. As my attitude shifted, so did my confidence and success. After endless neighborhood loops and sideways stares from the neighbors, I finally made it out on the road (just down the street to the nearest park, but out of the neighborhood nevertheless! That was a game changing feeling for me. That is what it’s all about.

April 2020 – Real Deal At this point, im still having pretty intense nerves before every ride, but I have made it out of Edison Square (finally). The first ride ALL THE WAY out of the neighborhood was me following Chris who was driving his truck, leading me on what would become my trusty loop. We wanted to take some pictures for Instagram, which I’ve been trying to grow since I got Jolene. The biker community on social media is AWESOME, it’s incredible how many other riders around the world I’ve gotten to share experiences with and learn from, most importantly being able to “meet” other girl riders. Anyways, during that first mini trip following chris I finally made it into 5th gear and got into some twistys, I was smiling so hard in my helmet the whole time. I feel so close to my bike now and with every ride I feel more in tune, and less intimidated by her. I almost feel like she’s a horse or something, lol. We stopped to take some pictures in front of some office building which was empty because Covid – I felt so uncomfortable taking pictures but Chris was such a good sport in trying to get the best angles LOL. The whole Instagram thing has defiantly taken me out of my comfort zone – but so has riding as a whole – and I never want to go back. After this trip, I started going out on the same trip as much as I could, but still was having intense pre-ride jitters – but with every ride, I felt less anxiety and I could actually enjoy and have fun while still learning and practicing the basics. The post-ride bliss, however, was always an amazing feeling and I noticed that on the days I did get out to ride, I felt more at ease and generally better for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, we are still waiting on chris’s bike to be done getting worked on.

May 2020 – First Group Ride We finally got chris’ bike back after SUCH a long time. It’s crazy how much I worry when he’s riding his bike with me driving the car; but I don’t worry at all about myself when I’m riding lol. Side note – I’m such a lucky girl to have chris and he amazes me on a daily basis. I love how he set up the group ride, knew the route we were going to ride and also planned out how we would meet up with our two friends along the way. Before this ride, I finally just felt excited for the ride, and less nerves in the pit of my stomach. I found myself agonizing over which placement in the lineup I wanted to ride in, weighing out the pros and cons of each – I had to keep reminding myself that I don’t know shit, there’s no point in worrying, and just to trust chris (that option hasn’t let me down yet!) Side rant – im realizing as I ride more and more miles that most of my fears have been irrational. It starts with me conjuring up a situation that I feel would be dicey on a motorcycle, then I obsess over all the possible negative outcomes in those situations, and then I obsess over when I will come across them in my journey. So far – I have not been right a single time. For example – left turn at a yellow blinking light – I wanted to actually reroute my ride to avoid this, but when I was forced to do it, I rode through it with NO issues. It’s crazy what a whirlwind our minds can conjure up with little to no reason or backup to support our fears. Long story short, I need to get over myself and go with the flow, and take each learning experience as just that. Again, chris’s patience is remarkable. Back to the group ride – it was awesome. I was again, smiling so hard in my helmet as chris and I chatted through the turns, as he’s telling me how proud he is of me and just having all the good feelings along the way. So glad we went with the Cardo systems, I can’t imagine the ride without them. We rode over 100 miles through the country around Midland and hit a bunch of turns. I got to practice things I don’t necessarily enjoy, like stoplights, a LOT which was great. I still need to work on speeding up my starts especially turning starts. Getting home from the ride was a great feeling, it’s such a high – the post ride bliss. We got to head to the beach right after for a long weekend, which was much needed. We came home from the beach and chris surprised me with a longboard, which I had been talking a lot about wanting lately. Words just aren’t enough to describe how grateful I am to call him mine.

May 26th 2020 – 2nd Group Ride It’s been raining for the past two weeks, pretty much ever since we picked Chris’s bike up from the shop. Side note – Chris and I are doing a watermelon cleanse from Tuesday through Friday, and we were at the end of day 1 at this point. I didn’t realize how much of a toll the fast had taken on me until I started riding, I was overthinking every move I made and just felt unstable overall. Everything just felt harder, and it was such a reminder of how much your mental state affects your riding. Overall the ride was great and I’m so glad we got out and rode though, the country roads were beautiful and the temperature was just perfect at around 70. I guess I need to focus on the positives here – that the ride was beautiful, we didn’t get caught in the rain and I got to experience new roads. And of course got some great pics. I’ve officially become that girl who takes pictures in the parking lot for Instagram, but I really don’t care because it’s been fun building my social media presence.

May 31st 2020 – 300 milestone Well, I finally did it – I hit 300 miles on the bike, the halfway mark to my first 600 mile service, lol. Last night’s ride was absolutely perfect, I couldn’t have asked for better weather (mid 70’s, not humid at all) and feeling the crisp air as I was passing my previous top speed at 60+ mph was an unmatchable feeling. Every time I have a ride like this, I always think to myself, “This is what it’s all about.” My headspace was at a great spot and I felt confident and smooth throughout the ride. My starts were quicker and more fluent, my turns were smooth and I had less anxiety and anxious thoughts about shifting gears and going through the motions of riding in general. It’s crazy what a few days of healthy food and relaxing will do to your mind – this ride compared to the last entry was like night and day. We took the bikes to Mac’s Speed Shop for dinner – I was excited to ride my own bike there. Once we pulled up and Chris quickly whipped around to back his bike into his spot, I was reminded of my severe performance anxiety yet again, lol. I really need to get over the thought of people watching me and get over myself, people are going to watch what’s right in front of them, and a girl on a bike is sort of a rare occurrence. I feel like when people watch me, specifically men, they are just waiting for me to mess up because how could a girl like me be on her own bike? In reality, I’m sure they are barely even thinking about me at all, LOL. That brings me to something I really need to work on in general. I get really anxious when people watch me and I really need to make a conscious effort to work on getting over that. People are not worried about me – I know this – but rational thoughts get tossed out the window when I’m placed in front of a crowd. This trait of mine exists in every avenue of life – whether it is work, play, whatever; and I need to take time to grow out of this. I think it will help me have less social anxiety and will probably help my confidence which will have residual effects like an improved posture and overall sense of stability. I just wonder if this is a habit that can just naturally be broken with practice/repetition or is this something that requires more attention and effort to fix. Wow – such a rabbit hole, lol, but I doubt anyone will even read this. Back to the ride – I have absolutely loved the feeling of making it home from a successful ride, or “post – ride bliss.” Chilling on the couch with my honey after a perfect ride (for both of us) is my ideal Sunday evening. Chris’s longboard finally came in so we were able to skate over and get ice cream before we called it a night. I just love our life together and think that we truly have the perfect relationship that is a mixture of best friends and lovers that just keeps getting stronger and better with time. I am so happy. With our economy tanking due to a virus in our country that’s being burnt down all around us, he is my peace. To work on –faster upshifting –downshift through EACH gear when approaching a stop (stop banging down all the gears without releasing the clutch in between) –get over performance anxiety –work on maneuvering the bike when off (in and out of parking spots, getting gas, backing out of garage, etc) –ride the bike into the garage myself! I’m so blessed to have Chris to help, teach and support me on this journey. He reminds me I don’t need to be able to do everything immediately but still pushes me to learn and become a better biker when he knows I’m capable of doing something.

June 11 – Making Progress Two big milestones this week. The first is installing my mini floorboards, the second being my skills improving on the bike. Last night Chris and I rode to Gamestop to pick up a Tony Hawk game, and I was nervous for the ride beforehand given the newness of my floorboards along with the general nerves I get before a ride. The ride ended up being AWESOME. I made sure to pay attention and downshift completely through each gear when coming to a stop, and I was able to do it successfully most of the time, lol. Also had way faster starts, and beat Chris out of the stop lights a few times. The feeling of just riding with no traffic or light in sight is unmatchable, especially in 5th gear when it feels like nothing can hold Jolene back. During these stretches of the ride, my thoughts are always revolving around THIS being what it’s all about, THIS is riding, and this is freedom. It’s an unmatchable feeling. I also felt good when we pulled into eastfield for dinner because I was able to smoothly maneuver around the parking lot that was semi-full without issue. Also I didn’t need help when leaving the parking spot outside of gamestop. taking rides after work used to be kind of a fear of mine, and I was usually reluctant to take them in fear that I would be too braindead after a full workday. The ride last night, however, proved this fear wrong. I think no matter the time of day, day of the week, temperature, WHATEVER it may be, it’s all about your headspace and that is the greatest determinant for the outcome of the ride. I’m glad that I’m starting to feel less and less anxiety prepping for and starting out on each ride, the stomach aches and general feelings of fear are melting away with every mile in the seat. Soon I’ll be scheduling my 600 mile service To work on be more gentle when downshifting, especially to first. Stop stomping on the poor shifter ride the bike into the garage myself keep improving engine breaking/downshifting completely through each gear to 2nd or 1st

June 13 – Passing 500 on my first real trip So many milestones (literally) passed this weekend! 1 – passed the 500 mile mark & 2 – first 100+ mile trip! Minus one close-call, the whole trip/day was amazing with my love. We first headed out to Asheboro Harley Davidson dealership, stopping at a couple gas stations along the way. I passed my previous top speed and managed to hit 65+ mph, and I don’t know if that was Jolene’s limit or if it was user-error. Aside from the wind feeling like it was going to blow me off of the bike, it felt exhilarating to ride fast on the open highway. After we left the second gas station, I was following Chris (a little too closely) and the left turn we were supposed to take snuck up on us so I locked up my brakes and skidded (loudly) down the street, fishtailing straight down the street, missing the turn. Mid-way through the skid, the only thought running through my head was “fuck, we’re going down.” Somehow either my reflexes or my guardian angel, or a combination of the two, were looking out for me and Jolene stayed upright. Somehow I knew to kind of let go of the breaks and handlebars and let the bike do its thing, and sure enough I was able to straighten out and stay upright. It was a sobering experience for sure, and it took a little while to gain my confidence back for the rest of the ride. Chris is a patient angel though. We made it to the Asheboro Harley dealership to pick up our poker chips and chill for a little bit, and we were surprised to see it was crowded. It’s such a nice dealership though, they had a food truck serving Greek food, free beer on tap and the MSF course happening in the parking lot that we could watch while eating our lunch. Chris and I talked about how we always feel like outcasts from the “Harley crowd” but the people we talked to were nice. It started getting late so we headed out to the next stop, the Moonset general store near Uwharrie and Badin Lake. The rest of the ride was uneventful, and Chris and quickly became exhausted lol. I kept wondering to myself if I would always feel this tired from riding. It’s just such a mental thing that takes your full attention and effort at all times, and being hyper-aware of your surroundings at all times. There’s also the physical side of riding that involves every extremity in unison just to work the bike controls. I think that’s what makes coming home from a trip feel so rewarding. Once we made it home, we got burgers at Eastfield and called it a night after we both fell asleep on the couch lol. We took a short ride to pinky’s after detailing the bikes on Sunday and that was also a great ride. Short and sweet.

June 23 – Ready for 1st Service The more experience and riding I’ve gotten, the less I feel the need to write and blog which is a good thing more time spent actually riding. Passed the 600 mile mark and trying to schedule my service appointment this week after I install my new Vance and Hines pipes on Wednesday, so pumped for the new sound and look. I’m feeling so much more comfortable now riding, still have a few things I want to work on but when I think about the first few times I took Jolene out and compare that to how I feel riding now, it’s almost like I’m a whole new person. The things that used to scare me to death are things I can do without thinking twice now. I’m learning that the faster I go, the more comfortable I feel, and that the fears I used to have are pretty irrational. Over the weekend Chris, his mom and I went on a ride through the country before it got too hot outside. It made me happy to see how happy Chris’s mom was after the ride. We talked about how great of a teacher he is and how supportive he is every step of the way. The next day, Chris, his brother and I went on a ride to Statesville Harley and got lunch at Grouchos (Chris chose for me because I always talk about how ive always wanted to eat there, hehe). It was a great ride, minus almost running over a snake haha. One other biker that was at Grouchos joined in with us for part of the ride home, then another biker on the road joined in too. It was cool to hold up the middle, lol. Chris said I did a good job. The sense of community in the biker world is something amazing and it makes me so excited for the future, and how many cool people I will meet along the way.

[myeclecticwitchylife]

25 Spell-Casting Tips for Newbie Witches

If you are new to the whole witchcraft thing, don’t fret. You’re in the right place.

I’ve gathered some helpful tips for newbies, which I also had posted on my other site - mywitchylife.com - to help you out.

1. Read the spell or ritual instructions several times over before casting

2. If you mess up, keep going. Don’t try to “go back” to fix it. Sometimes this just messes up the flow.

3. Make sure you have all the required ingredients.

4. If you don’t have all the required ingredients, make sure you have the appropriate substitutes.

5. If you edit the spell, consider charging it.

6. Know that you don’t NEED to memorize the spell, but try not to pause. Read it or memorize it.

7. If you read the spell off of something, try not to read it off a screen - if you aren’t used to tech-magick, especially. Light and technology can sometimes affect your magick.

8. Pay attention to what feels right to you. This may be the timing, movements, etc. Magick is personal.

9. You don’t really need to wait until the full moon, all the time, though sometimes it is necessary.

10. Unless the spell requires it, make sure no one is around. If you are a beginner especially, sometimes the energy can affect the people around you. My friend once did a love spell when I was in the room, and her ex-boyfriend ended up crushing on ME. I have other experiences like this one, too, back when I was a newbie.

11. If you found the spell online, or even in a book, try to charge the spell first. You can do this by visualizing energy entering the spell and charging it, or even with another spell. This is also good if you decide to edit the spell, as well.

12. Cleanse your space, and yourself. You don’t want to work with “tainted energy”, such as working with chaos magick - negative energy, basically. While some people work with chaos magick to get what they want quickly, it harms you and others in the long run and has SERIOUS side effects, and can sometimes make it harder for you to practice magick in the long-run.

13. What is your energy source? Visualize energy. Where is it coming from? The earth? the universe? Yourself? The candle (representing fire, light, darkness, spirit, heat) even heat has its own energy, as well as the astral plane, dreams, people, rocks, flowers, crystals, etc.

14. Pay attention to the elements. If you are casting a sex spell, maybe focus on the element of fire, etc.

15. Pay attention to how you are feeling. Don’t practice magick while you are angry.

16. Clear your mind, meditate, and be visual. Imagine the outcome.

17. Ask for permission if you are casting a spell on someone else, or at least cast a spell that gives the person an “option” to take this gift of energy or not. People “accept” or “reject” this on a subconscious level.

18. Don’t be too specific, or the spell may not work.

19. But also, don’t be too general, either.

20. Don’t be selfish.

21. If necessary, know how to reverse it. Many spells can’t be reversed, so in addition, make sure you can deal with the consequences.

22. Think outside the box. An invisibility spell can have consequences. You can get in a car accident because “Oh my gosh, I didn’t see you there, you came out of nowhere!”. 

23. If this is the first time casting your spell, keep your expectations in check. Some beginners struggle, and that’s OK. Some beginners are surprised by how strong they are - and that’s also OK. Both can have pros and cons.

24. Once you cast the spell, be done with it. Don’t obsess over it.

25. Always record your results in your BoS! And give the spell time - it takes time to see results.

[olivenight17]

Hi! How are you doing? I'd like to request a MHA matchup if that's alright (a relationship partner and an unofficial parental figure, or just the significant other if you want!). I'm 167 cm ), the same age range as the students, and a female. I've got ADHD, anxiety, severe depression, and bpd. I kinda bottle my issues/ negative emotions and keep up a mask of bubbly joy (the stuff just nags at the back of my brain). I'm in choir, I cosplay, write, draw, and I'm overall artistic. (1/?)

My zodiac sign is Ares. I like to describe my style as “I would be super punk rock/goth/emo but my mom won’t buy me the super awesome clothes so I’ll made do with what I have.”. I love punk music and rock music. On my bad days it’s really hard for me to get out of bed, I’ll often go nonverbal, I get insomnia, and just kinda stare off into space (it can take days for me to climb out of these holes). I have issues with my family and due to that I crave affection from others. (2/?)

I love stuffed animals and have like 23, have a habit of building ‘nests’, and I’m a bit of a goblin when it comes to shiny things and bones (I collect them!). Anyways, thank you so much and have a great day! (3/3)

Let me tell you hon, we’re almost cut from the same cloth, I relate so hard to you. I really hope you get to take on that full punk rock look eventually, I’ll be cheering for you!

Alright, parentally wise, I basically effective immediately knew who would be best for you and I give you, our lovely Emi Fukukado!

- This lady, let me tell you, is about to be all over you parentally.

- Her whole job basically consists of making people laugh, so she can tell when someone’s smiling face is real or fake.

- She sees right through that happy mask and immediately her heart says “No, this won’t do. The child needs to be happy.”

- From that point onwards, it has become her mission to have you smile a real smile at least once a day.

- She may seem ditzy and not good for parenting, but she is a teacher after all, she knows how to take care of kids.

- Becomes your #1 supporter, doing extensive research on all of your mental illnesses. She would never want to do anything to unintentionally harm you in any way and knowing is always half the battle.

- Is very just, kind towards you, understanding that this is hard to get through but she’s very patient and will never raise her voice at you.

- Wants to limit how much you’re bottling your emotions, so she tries to get you to talk about your day every time you come home from school. She makes it clear that you’re allowed to come to her for anything. She wants to know how you’re feeling because it best helps her.

- The nonverbal side is a little daunting for her at first. Only because she can’t help if she doesn’t know what’s happening. If it’s just a no verbal speech, she might ask you to shake or nod your head to her questions. But if it’s like no communication period, she’ll let you stay in bed, make sure you have your stuffed animals with you and just stay with you until you’re ready to talk. And, if you’re comfortable with it, she’ll hug you too.

- The good thing about Emi is that she’ll give you affection all of the time.

- She supports all of your hobbies, helping you to find the right wig or costume, good art supplies, listens to your singing. And have no fear, if you weren’t able to go full on punk before, you will now. Just because Emi doesn’t wear that herself, doesn’t mean she will not spoil you rotten and practically fill your wardrobe with leather jackets and dark clothing.

- Not to mention, she just loves your stuffed animals, and it only serves to love you as her daughter more.

- It takes her a while to adjust to the whole nesting thing and especially when some shiny things in the house go missing, but now she knows where to look if she needs said shiny things. And if she sees any shiny things while out on the job, she brings them home for you.

- Overall, she’s 10/10 supportive mom who will love you no matter what, support you, and always up to make you laugh and smile.

Now for your romantic partner, have none other than sunshine boi Mirio!

- The human representation of the sun is here to love you at all times and make sure you know it!

- 10/10 thinks you’re the most adorable person he’s ever laid eyes on.

- So, like any good extrovert, he roped you into friendship!

- Really loves to hang out with you and, like Emi, loves your stuffed animals. He thinks it’s super cute.

- In fact, the first date he took you on was at a carnival and it was purely just to get you more stuffed animals.

- Always brings you small little punk presents, whether it’s a cd from your favorite band, or an extra choker for you, he is all on board with that style and thinks it looks really good on you!

- Though, he won’t be too pushy with you. He is friends with Tamaki after all so at least with anxiety and self doubt, he’s all good on how to handle.

- With some of the other things, such as the bpd, ADHD and depression, he might need some help with. So, he’ll ask you about it, trying to get what works for you and what doesn’t, any signs he needs to look out for.

- Always has you eating lunch with him to make sure you eat, if you get hungry because you missed breakfast, he’s got a few snacks on hand for you. On top of that, he sends little reminders to eat dinner when you’re both at home.

- Rest assured, Mirio is on the lookout and making sure you’re taking care of yourself and he’s gonna try his hardest not to let you fall too hard.

- If at any time you go nonverbal with him, he understands. He’ll still be talking to you, but he’ll make it clear that you don’t have to answer him. Lol believe me, he’s got enough socialization to talk for the both of you.

- Super hyped for all of your hobbies. He wants to read all of your writings, he’ll go see all of the performances your choir makes, see your drawings, and he’ll love all of your cosplays. In fact, if you take that cosplay to a con, he might even dress up to cosplay with you.

- Need affection you say? Oh honey, it’s practically done and done. He has so much affection and love for you, just say the word and he will unleash it all upon you in words of affirmation and a lot of hugs and kisses.

- Overall, your relationship is filled with a lot of encouragement, love and support, you two look out for each other.

I hope you enjoyed!

[followingmywanderlust]

Paulo Brenninkmeijer: Words from A World Traveler

Travel To Gain A Better Understanding of Humanity

When walking through the stunning architecture of College Hall at Endicott College, Paulo exclaims, “It’s just like home!” Born in Brazil and raised in the United Kingdom, Paulo has experienced different cultures from the start of his life. Brenninkmeijer has a German heritage and Dutch nationality and has lived an untraditional life through his family’s business. Paulo speaks Dutch, German, and English fluently, but is also in the process of learning Spanish and Portugese.

China, Hong Kong, Greece, Sri Llanka, Ecuador, Columbia, Brazil, Kenya, South Africa, Botswana, Galapagos Islands, Turks & Caicos, Antigua, Maldives, Dubai, and most places in Europe and America are just some of the places Paulo has visited. Paulo has seen an impressive chunk of the world before reaching the age of twenty, and has experienced different cultures, the beauties of nature, and rare wildlife.

ABOUT THE FAMILY BUSINESS

Paulo’s legacy comes from a 179-year-old family business which invented ready-made clothing. The business led the discount retail market in Europe for about 60 years since it’s start in 1841, but it continues to succeed today. Paulo exclaims that the company is able to remain profitable in contemporary society when he states, ” the business diversified its assets in 1999 when entering the Real-Estate market and then in 2002 entering the Private Equity sector where we have also been proven to thrive for the last twenty years.” Paulo’s Basisjaar allowed him to travel the world and enter the businessworld at a young age.

SCHOOLING

Because of Paulo’s upbringing in a business environment he had a different schooling experience. Paulo attended Worth Abbey for his secondary school in the United Kingdom, but at the age of sixteen, Brenninkmeijer chose to learn about the family business to develop the necessary skills that could eventually contribute to his success. Now twenty years old, Paulo is a freshman international student at Endicott College studying International Business and Administration.

When asked how his travelling and work affected his schooling, Brenninkmeijer found both negative and positive effects. Paulo states, “when I should have been studying, I was working in a high-paced, fast-moving environment throughout Europe and I didn’t really have the chance to get to university at the age that I should’ve gone.” At the age of twenty, Paulo is almost two years older than most freshmen at the school, but he feels he is more mature and business savvy.

Another negative that Brenninkmeijer has faced as a result of his real-life work is that he didn’t do learn business through the typical system of ‘book-learning’ but he learnt about it through first hand experience. Paulo says that, “in terms of academics I would say I am very slow and need to get used to learning without doing.”

Additionally, because of his ambitious experiences in the working world, Paulo finds flaws in the current business simulations used in his classes at Endicott. Brenninkmeijer asserts, ” the algorithm is completely rigged and it’s nothing like the real business world. I [talked] about it with my Dean and he understands perfectly.”

Although Paulo’s unconventional teenage years have some pros and cons, his experience in travel outweighs what some people may travel throughout their whole lives.

IMPORTANCE OF TRAVEL

Brenninkmeijer is a strong supporter of travel and would recommend it to anyone. When asked why travel is important, Paulo articulates that people should travel in order, “to understand humans, to understand different cultures and be able to mix in with them and build yourself as a person – learn to become more open- and not only that, there are also aspects of nature, architecture, there are so many different things that will change your life and help you experience a different lifestyle – you really put a different value on life after seeing more things that are beautiful.” Not only will one be able to value life more after finding more beauty, but travelers have a better understanding of humanity which is crucial to meeting new, interesting people.

According to Paulo, individuals who travel will not only learn about the “circle of life,” but also about themselves. In his experience, Brenninkmeijer has found growth in travel. As he describes this growth, “It’s made me a lot more susceptible to things that I didn’t know were possible or could happen. I mean I’ve been fortunate enough to meet people I didn’t know existed, made loads of good friends, good connections, and obviously learn a lot about cultures,” says Paulo. “And it helps you be more extrovert, it helps you be that person who isn’t afraid of approaching a foreign group and wanting to intertwine with them and work with them.” Making connections is something that Paulo has learned the significance of over the years, as he still keeps in touch with people he has met in his travels.

In addition to growing to be more extroverted and cultured, Paulo remembers to remain true to himself. He explains, “And at the end of the day I still have my own values, I’m still my own person, I didn’t change to belong.” It is crucial to be unapologetically yourself when meeting new people in order to spread your own values and culture to others.

Paulo notes the importance of love when discussing travel. “And then I also think it’s taught me that I guess finding something you love should be everyone’s primary goal in life” he says. “I’m in one of those positions where it’s very difficult to do that whilst always traveling and trying to find the next big adventure.”

There are many things that make traveling important, and Brenninkmeijer has experienced most of them.

EXPERIENCING DIFFERENT CULTURES

As an international student who has travelled to more than a dozen countries, Paulo has noted the importance of learning about different cultures.

Paulo has spent months at a time in America and has observed some significant cultural differences between the United States and Europe. “I am naturally very biased,” Brenninkmeijer remarks when asked the culture of Europe compared to that of the United States. “I think the European cultures have far more to offer in terms of diversity and acceptance,” says Paulo. “I feel like [America] prioritizes power, and government and politics over social needs and the environment, and I think Europe has done a great job as a European Union itself and the United Kingdom supporting them managing to maintain a stable environment and we have free health care, free education, allowing us to make those kinds of decisions through more equal distribution.”

Brenninkmeijer also notes the working differences between Americans and Europeans, He says, “if you are an mployee in a lower-level social working environment in order to prosper, you need to pretty much do it by the book and work your way up. You need to follow the chain of command. Obviously it’s the same in Europe, but from what I’ve heard, Europeans are a lot more open and accepting when it comes to the chain of command. It’s almost considered ‘normal’ to contact your CEO and give them ideas and feedback you think the business could use to improve. I myself have witnessed this during an internship at Savills in the Netherlands.” Paulo also mentions that Americans have potential to greater opportunities due to the effort the government put into supporting start-ups and incubators.

After discussing the business opportunity differences between Europe and America, Paulo goes on to explain the difference in food, religion, and music.

Brenninkmeijer starts out by stating his opinion about American food, “The food in this country is awful.” According to Paulo, the European Food Administration have much higher standards for food and hygiene. Some of the Dutch MacDonalds for example have 5 star restaurant rating and sell real beef burgers for €21 ($22.77)! In his experience in America, Paulo has observed the hygiene in America, “If you go to restaurants around here, you can just tell that the glasses are all stained and those are small things that most people probably don’t look out for. And I also think the government doesn’t make enough effort to advertise healthy food or to put restrictions on the things that are bad for people in this country like they would do in some European countries.” Brenninkmeijer states that he gets homesick sometimes just longing for European food, “I miss having a good European meal.”

In terms of religion, Paulo mentions the difference he sees in how people express their faith. “I would say that we practice faith a lot more in Europe,” he says. “A lot more people go to church, a lot more people are open about their faith, and faith plays a very big role whereas in this mixed-college society, it’s not often spoken about and people aren’t very open about it.”

Interestingly, Paulo enjoys the music in America which he claims to be primarily trap and rap, but he also brings attention to an interesting point. Brenninkmeijer expresses that because of the legal drinking age of 21 in America, American teens do not get the same opportunities to experience the music that many European teens like the best. “I’ve been drinking ever since I can remember and that also has also allowed me to go to nightclubs and bars when you’re 16 and then when you’re 18 you’re allowed to go into the London, Paris, Milan and all the big countries clubs,” says Paulo, and he attributes his love for European club music to his clubbing experiences.

On both an economic and social scale, America and Europe have completely different cultures while still remaining the most prominent places on the globe.

STORIES

As you may have anticipated, Brenninkmeijer has his share of experiences abroad, both positive and negative. He has seen some of the most beautiful parts of the world, observed extremely rare wildlife, and met incredible people with fascinating stories.

Paulo has met some astonishing people in his journeys, but the craziest story he has heard comes from Lakaku who he met during his time spent in Kenya.

Lakaku is a Massai Warrior in Kenya who has 13 wives and 26 children. Paulo tells Lakaku’s story with fascination and passion. “When he was younger he used to be in the drug trade, he used to work for one of the dictators in Africa, and this was between the ages of 16 and 18. What he’d do is he’d take heroin in small medicine cups and he’d basically smuggle them across the border as a travelling man of Massai.”

“Then he met someone named Alex Hunter who was a white man who offered him a way out. He was doing a traveling safari in a car on the edge of the border. Alex saw this young man and (In Massai) basically said ‘Hey do you want to work for me, I have plans to start a camp in the Laikipia conservancy?’ Lakaku didn’t want to do it at first because he wanted to start his own tribe and in order to become the leader of a tribe you have to ‘show great courage’ such as killing a wild cat with your bare hands,” Paulo continues.

“Lakaku managed to do this with a dagger and basically what he did was he made himself bait for a group of hyenas and then when the hyenas attacked him he went for the leader of the pack – he still has scars all over his arms and his back from it – but once he killed the leader, naturally the other hyenas got afraid and they fled. He still carries the hyena pelt that he slaughtered that day and that’s what gave him a name in the Massai Warrior community and that’s what made him have the power and influence that he has in his own right.”

“He owns 13 cows, which in the Massai is probably the equivalent to hundreds or thousands, it has one of the highest values, it’s one of the most valued assets any man of Massai can have and in return for it, he has all these wives and all these children and he has his own village. He was a very interesting person, he didn’t speak any English, wore only a red rag over his shoulder, carried a bow & arrow, a spear, and a dagger on him at all times, he had really big ears because he carried these big, round disks in them, and he also carries one in his mouth, he was very skinny but at the same time incredibly strong, and completely fearless.”

In addition to meeting fascinating people, Paulo has been on some wild adventures and has even faced his fear of heights on multiple occasions. When asked to describe the most challenging thing done when traveling, Brenninkmeijer lists a series of absolutely chilling experiences he has faced. “If by traveling you mean doing a kind of military camp with a bunch of cadets from the UK,  then spending 4 weeks in the wilderness almost getting trench foot after having walked through water for about 3 days and having your feet crunch up whilst being ordered to stay in your tent for reaching the 1st stage of trench foot and you barely being able to walk for a couple of days because your feet are so disgustingly shrivelled and wet, then yes, I would say that was a riveting experience,” says Paulo.

“But thats not all… along with that you can probably include going down really wet cliffs and hurting yourself a lot as well as being ordered to learn how to overcome ‘cold water shock’ – having your boat sunk and watching someone almost drown because if it.” Paulo also notes his other fascinating adventures including “being in a warzone in Columbia, working in Ol-Pejeta in Africa having orders to kill poachers whilst protecting endangered animals, going to Israel where two hours away more than 400 projectile missiles had just been fired into the country from the West Bank, I don’t know I think that’s some pretty weird things – or pretty crazy.”

Now most travelers do not run into these troubles, but due to Paulo’s loev for travel, he has faced many (terrifying) adventures in addition to positive experiences. One of these positive experiences comes from his travels to Ecuador when he was working there for four weeks.

“The Galapagos – it’s an omnibenevolent place. It’s so amazing and overpowering when you’re there because of the beauty of the people, the nature, the location, the animals. It’s pretty much a modern version of the Garden of Eden if I had to describe it,” he says. Everything seems perfect – all your troubles, all your worries, everything goes away. It’s just you, yourself, and this amazing awe that the area just emits – and that the people emit which is also why when you go there you just fall in love and you can’t have time for anything back home, you don’t have time for your little worries and little things in the world when there’s just so much amazement surrounding you.”

Nature and traveling can also be used as a therapeutic tool where visiting new, beautiful places can make individuals forget about any stresses they may have.

ADVICE

Paulo has both received advice and given advice to others about traveling.

The best advice he has received is to “Just to be yourself. Not care about what other people think, but always stay humble and know your roots.”

When asked to give advice, Paulo gave his own advice. “The same advice that I was given. Be yourself. Stay humble. It depends on where you’re going, it depends on who you’re with, it depends on the environment you’re in,” he says. “If I had to just give a piece of general advice, I’d say always think of the worst case scenario in wherever you’re going and have a backup plan and have a contact that you know you can rely on at all times. Maybe even have a satellite phone on you or something  that you can always stay connected to someone who can help you out if something were to go wrong.”

Safety is important when traveling, and having a back up plan is crucial to feeling comfortable in a new place.

GET OUT THERE

Remember that wherever you go, it is important to “Just be yourself” and experience the world around you. Get ready to learn new cultures, see incredible wildlife, and take in the beauty of the world around you.

What are you waiting for? Go book your flight ticket.

for more visit: kyliebreenphotography.com

[go-diane-winchester]

How do I know Jensen hates the militant destiel shippers?

@supernaturallygayforyou said the following:​

''people may hate me and you but Jensen doesn’t. He just doesn’t like for his character to be reduced to a ship (which I have realized I’ve done and apologized for in my comments because I do actually love supernatural and the post was a joke). he doesn’t mind destiel shippers and is comfortable with hanging with jared and misha.''

I told her that Jensen hates the hellers, but apparently she didn't believe me, thus giving me the opportunity to reopen this can of worms.  First, lets identify a heller.  If you have the following vile traits, you are a heller.  If you don't, then you are a normal destiel shipper in whom we see no fault, other than your terrible taste in men.  Because seriously, Misha?  No hate though.  Just a little revulsion but no hate.  You do you.  These are heller traits:

Hellers tag their ship posts in the main tags.

Hellers accuse CW of queer baiting.

Hellers ship shame.

Hellers threaten Jensen with death.

Hellers want endgame destiel.

Hellers tweet Jared that he should die. 

Hellers threaten kidnapping, arson and poisoning.

Hellers call Jensen a homophobe.

Hellers insist Dean is anything but straight.

Hellers pretend to like Jared and Sam but secretly want both gone.

So how do I know that Jensen hates the hellers.  Lets look at the timeline:

October 2014 - NerdHQ

A bunch of horny destihellers planned to throw Astroglide on stage every time Jensen and Misha spoke.  The organizers were asked permission to bring this stuff to the event, and they notified Jensen and gang to ask for permission to allow it.  They were not given permission and Misha was excluded from the panel.  Only J2 and Mark Sheppard attended.  This is the first inkling that Jensen was getting aggravated with the hellers.

January 2017 [Jaxcon]:

A heller asked an ignorant shipping question, even though they were banned from asking shipping question.  Jensen succinctly said ''Destiel doesn't exist''.  He was bashed on social media and that is where he got the first death threat.  The homophobia accusation has been happening since 2014 and mass media is aware of it.  So essentially they are ruining Jensen's reputation.  But if I point out that Misha's ugly face is ugly, I am such a meanie, right?  The result of this relentless bullying and death threat, manifested itself, at Jibcon.  Explain to me how Jensen can like the hellers after the question, the bullying and the death threat.

May 2017 [Jibcon]:

Jensen has a breakdown during the only panel he shares with Misha, and Jared shuts the panel down early.  But hellers thought he was flirting with Misha.  The man who mocks Misha on any other day, chooses this one convention to get all sexual.  Could it be because of the online abuse and the death threat?  Could it be because he was pacifying his abusers, during the only panel where he knows they will be watching?  Nah, it must be because the bag-eyed overlord is totes irresistible.  Tell me how Jensen likes the hellers who can have such a negative effect on him.         

June 2017 [Comic Con]

Misha pulls a chair stunt that makes Jensen and Jared look like bullies.  They become aware of it.  Jensen knows what the hellers will do.  But he loves them, right?

October 2017 [Nolacon]

This was the con where J2 reiterated that Misha is NOT the lead, and the hellers went after them, calling them rape enablers for using a stale joke from previous cons.  The media got wind of it and J2 issued a statement and no apology.  The hellers got angry because they wanted separate con panels for J2 and didn't get it.  There was a rumor that they were trying to get Jared fired from the show, but I have not receipt for that.  Tell me how despite this unnecessary hurdle, Jensen still loves the fans. 

November 2017 [DCcon]

The scandal has only just subsided.  Its affect on the boys showed in the Js behavior when they took to the stage.  Jared was suffering from a manic episode [which was painful to watch] and Jensen was already angry.  The insufferable J stans were there, getting the wrong end of the stick, as per usual.  Jensen stans said Jared was being disruptive.  Jared stans fought back or said that Jared was being ''extra'' because he was trying to cheer Jensen up after the scandal.   Ironically, it was a Jensen stan who recognized that Jared was suffering from mania. 

Jensen was being patient with Jared because he has seen Jared's manic episodes and the crash that is likely to follow it.  I have to say Jensen, despite already being angry with fans for the scandal, was still very patient with Jared.  Anyone else would have been at their wits end.  Jared is very lucky to have a friend and co-worker who has so much compassion.  Especially considering the state of this panel.  Let me point out that this was the worst panel I have ever witnessed, because those were some of the most horrible attendees.  One of them told Jensen to shut up when she was given the opportunity to ask them a question.  That will give you an idea of how horrible this panel was.  The other questions were either boring or the person asking the question went off on a tangent about themselves.  I only watched it once and never again. 

This is a link to the panel, for those who mind watching Jared fall apart and Jensen looking close to driving his fist right through a wall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOBs7Hp9FRo

At the timestamp of 15:53, this exchange happened. 

Jensen:  ''We pull our punches.  So if we do connect, its not a full... you know, its a 50% power punch.  It shouldn't knock you out, unless you have a really weak chin.  But, eh...''

Jared:  ''Like Misha.''

Jensen:  ''Well, you could just go...''  Blows out air hard and makes a splatting sound, ''Eh, I'm kidding.  We love Misha.  People will get mad at me know.'' 

The look that Jared gave Jensen showed why the episode happened.  He didn't follow up what Jensen said, with a snarky remark.  No jokes.  He just moved on but not before putting his hand on Jensen's shoulder and Jensen bit his lower lip.  They figured out that the scandal happened only because of Misha's fans.  They joined the dots beforehand.  That is why they were messed up during that panel.  Jensen's facial expression when he said that last bit.  You can tell he is completely insincere when he says they love Misha.  So Jensen knew who caused the Nolacon scandal, and why they went after him and Jared.  But he still loves the hellers, how exactly?

November 2017:  Honocon

This con was going to be destiel friendly.  The hellers were running their mouths off about it on social media.  Jensen and Misha was getting a panel together for the first time in Creation con history.  Jared would not be interfering or so they thought.  Jared threw a spanner in the works, staying on stage for longer than he was needed, fiddling around with the keyboard and the drums, disrupting the entire panel.  This time he wasn't suffering a manic attack.  This time he was doing it on purpose.  That is what you get when you anger the boys.  During J2 panel, they kept making shippy remarks about each other.  No, its not because they ship themselves.  We are not stupid like the hellers.  Straight men don't ship anything.  They were doing it to annoy the hellers.  During the Cockles panel, Jensen laughed at Misha's walk and Empty Cas voice choice.  Other than the insults flung at Misha, they just did the recycled paper airplane story.  Destiel fans are scattered around the globe and not the majority of the fans in America.  So the con didn't do well.  Honocon was never mentioned again.  Whether it pops up again in the future remains to be seen.  Despite loving the hellers, why is he essentially spitting in their face. 

December 2017: Sydney con/AHBL

J2 was in very good form during this panel, because pig-of-a-face was not attending.  Jared played guitar while Jensen and Robbie sang ''Free Falling''.  Here's an adorable tiny clip of Jared being adorably adorable while eating an egg roll.  Only 42 people watched it so shame on all of you.  Heres the link: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPE5JlGp8dg

See how happy they are when Pee puddle and his splatterings are not present.  So why didn't Jensen miss his heller fans? 

 May 2018 - Birmingham

Misha shares a panel with Jensen and Jared, and Jared places himself between the two of them.  Misha tries to pull the stupid chair stunt again, but Jared put a stop to it.  Misha picks up the topic of the shirt sharing for the heller's benefit.  Jensen throws out that he has shared underwear with Jared.  When Misha pointed out that the brothers were not affectionate people generally, J2 shot him down by saying Sam and Dean were very emotional and affectionate with each other.   Between the stripping, the mocking and the icing, Misha did not enjoy the panel.  Why is Jensen punishing his beloved heller fans.

May 2018 - Jibcon 

After Jensen's breakdown the previous year, suddenly Jibcon was no longer destiel con.  Suddenly shipping questions were banned.  Hellers bashed Daniella for that.  When the much anticipated cockles panel happened, Jared threw a spanner in the works, and crashed the panel brandishing balloons.  Hellers tore him apart on social media.  At the beginning of the panel,  Misha put his hand on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen tapped Misha on the knee and then rubbed his fingers together in a disgusted manner.  So he instantly squashed the shippy vibes Misha was pushing for.  During the panel, Jared and Jensen took the time to laugh in Misha's face whilst in character.  Why did Jensen allow his heller fans' only panel to be taken away from them? 

July 2018 - Comic Con

Jensen placed himself between Jared and Alex, and every time Misha opened his big mouth, they just pulled faces and laughed.  Doesn't he care how its going to affect his heller fans?

September 2018 - Indycon

This was the Misha-led con.  No J2 in sight.  It flopped.  Misha is consistently losing fans.  Only the really crass and tasteless ones really like him.  This has nothing to do with Jensen and his opinion of the hellers.  I just derive great pleasure in pointing this out to you.

December 2018 - Jaxcon

A heller got into an argument with Jensen during autos because she insisted Dean was bisexual whilst Jensen was saying that Dean wasn't.  Misha confirmed [as if he has the authority] that Dean is indeed bisexual.  Jensen must absolutely love the hellers after that, right?

Whatever I told you now is a brief overview.  More in-depth posts are on my blog on all these subjects, except for DC Con 2017 which I elaborated on in this post.  During 2017 and 2018, the online attacks have increased including telling Jared that they wish him dead.  This was tweeted to him.  Jensen's death threats increased to include an arson and poisoning threat.  Hellers even threatened to kidnap Jared's children.  Many of these tweets were directed to Jensen.  The receipts for all of these, are on my blog.  They are getting worse.  I fear that they might actually act of their threats one day.  The threats start from mistagged posts which is why I always call those out.  Stay on your lane and you will offend nobody. 

To summarize:

Jensen hates the hellers because they threatened to kill him, in various ways, ruined his reputation by accusing him of homophobia and threatening to kidnap Jared's children whilst also hoping that Jared would die along with Sam.  Oh, and Misha is ugly.  The End. 

[sapphicambitions]

So I emailed the SYFY Feedback account. This is what I said. I’ll let y’all know if they respond.

To Whom it May Concern,

I'm writing concerning the Magicians finale which aired last night, April 17th. While the finale may have been beautifully acted and filmed, there are many real concerns that the fans have that were brought on by this episode. Many of us fear that these concerns are going to be overlooked or written off by the network, furthering the betrayal. I'm not sure who reads these feedback emails, but if it is at all possible to get it passed along to the right people, it would make a huge difference. 

The death of Quentin Coldwater was unnecessary and cruel. This is a character that has clinical depression and has been hospitalized multiple times for suicide attempts. One of Quentin's major character arcs is that he is in a better place now than he was before he discovered magic, and that he had to do that for himself. For fans facing their own mental illness and struggles, he was a beacon of light and a chance to see themselves on screen. Quentin was not special. His discipline was minor mendings. He was not a high king in his blood, he was barely the hero of the story. But he was the hero of his own story. And for fans, this was important. That even though they might not be "special" they could still live to fight another day. That they could find the courage to keep fighting. So many fans identified with Quentin. He was their reminder that if he could keep fighting and living, so could they. This is extremely important to people who are suicidal. It is not something to take lightly, as literal lives are at stake.

There is a problem in the action adventure / science fiction genre with using the heroic self sacrifice as an excuse for suicidal tendencies. It is a harmful trope, but when you place that trope on a character who is clinically depressed and suicidal, it is devastating. And Quentin Coldwater's suicide has devastated the fandom. If you were to go onto tumblr.com and go through the Magicians tags, you would see that the episode was incredibly triggering for the fans with mental illnesses. Because our hero who kept living to fight another day killed himself. The episode poorly addressed this when Quentin and Penny 40 were discussing this in the Underworld, and there was no specific conclusion. Suicide is never heroic in any context. Portraying suicide as heroic is dangerous.

Further, there was no reason for Quentin to die. In an interview with Sera Gamble, she discusses the choice in a way that is grotesque. She calls it an artistic choice and a "full complete circle of Quentin's storyline." Do you have any idea how harmful that is for suicidal viewers? To tell them that the only end of their story has to be their death? To tell them that their efforts of saving themselves are pointless? Quentin's death was tragedy for the sake of being tragic and shock value. This is damaging to fans who saw Quentin as a way to keep fighting. 

Additionally, the idea that Quentin's death was heroic or okay because all of his friends were able to love him and be okay, so that Quentin could find peace in death? That is the most catastrophic idea to come from this finale. John McNamara said in the same interview that he didn't want to write pro-suicide television but that is EXACTLY what they did. If they cannot understand why telling suicidal people that they will be able to find peace in death is dangerous and damaging, I can't begin to tell them how to care about people. Quentin's death was cruel and thoughtless. There's more that Sera and John say in the article but honestly I cannot stomach any more of it. Here's a link to the article I've mentioned:https://www.vulture.com/2019/04/the-magicians-finale-death.html The death of Quentin is not just important because of Quentin's mental illness, but because of Quentin's queerness. It cannot be denied anymore that Quentin Coldwater is queer. Following 3x05 and 4x05 especially, but from the word of the actor himself. Jason Ralph stated at comic con this past year that Quentin's queerness is the only thing he's not anxious about, and spent the entire con calling Q & Eliot soulmates and lifetime loves. The marketing department for the Magicians has released fan videos and egged on the queer viewers, encouraging them to watch for the representation. Quentin's entire motivation this entire season has been to get back to Eliot. And then in the last three episodes this build up was completely discarded.

Quentin and Alice get back together after both of them moving on with their own story lines and the fans agree that it doesn't make sense. The reunion of Qualice feels like it was essentially set up so that the writers had an excuse to not acknowledge Queliot in the finale. Because they didn't. Quentin has spent the entire season trying to save Eliot and then we don't get to see him reunite with Eliot. Even if one were to ignore anything Queliot, they have been best friends for the last four seasons and narratively it doesn't make sense. The fans feel as though it was a purely homophobic move and are hurt. The build up and then casting aside of a queer narrative is hurtful to queer audiences.

Queer audiences get such little scraps from shows as it is that the Magicians was a breath of fresh air and the chance to see our stories played out on screen. The chance for them to receive an equal narrative weight and taken seriously. Because the show, in the end, didn't follow through with Queliot, the queer fans feel baited. Queer baiting is a gross tactic to gain viewers and many queer fans are devastated for their trust to be betrayed in such a way. And this was a betrayal to queer audiences. Make no mistake, many queer fans will not be returning to see the show's fifth season.

Frankly, the Magicians has never had great queer representation. Eliot Waugh is really the only confirmed queer character and his storyline falls right into the unhappy gay man trope. In the first season, he has to kill off his fake boyfriend. In the second season, he's married off to a woman and essentially forbidden from sleeping with men. In the third season, we have A Life in the Day, which is then not acknowledged again for an entire season. Every other "queer rep" is literally a joke or not followed through. The amount of homophobia that runs through the show is a disappointment to fans who have identified with the queer characters. Sera Gamble and the other Magicians writers have made it perfectly clear how they feel about queer people and their storylines. This has been noted by the fans.

Further, the confirmation of Quentin's queerness and then his execution falls right into the Bury Your Gays trope. It falls right into the Hays Code and the idea that in order for queer people to exist on screen, there has to be negative consequences for being gay. Is this the kind of network SYFY wants to run? One that refuses to allow members of the LGBTQ community to be happy or to simply exist? Because by backing the choices the Magicians have made concerning their queer characters, that is what they have done. A large portion of the fantasy audience is queer people and yet we are continuously excluded from narrative, or included only to be killed off. 

This is also dangerous for viewers. According to the Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.0001fud2yh6a9ctju2r22bg7t0dyo) queer youth are five times as likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth. It is practically an epidemic in the community, the taking of their lives because they aren't given space to exist in the world. And yet the Magicians just allowed their queer main character to kill himself. This has devastated the viewers who identified with Quentin for his mental illnesses but also his queerness. 

Sea Gamble and her team of writers can say that "not even the white man is safe" and claim that Quentin's death is "ground breaking" but this is not the case when the character is suicidal and queer. A mentally ill queer person killing themself isn't ground breaking, it's a devastating reality that too many face and capitalizing on that trauma for the sake of shock value is disgusting and frankly, unforgivable. No matter what the writer's intentions might have been are irrelevant, this is the message they have sent out to their audiences. 

The fans have real concerns about this and if their concerns are going to be acknowledged at all. There's a fear that we will be written off as complaining about shipping or not getting our way, when in reality it runs so much deeper. The Magicians writers broke the trust and spirits of their audiences, and the betrayal will effect ratings and viewer numbers. Is the network going to acknowledge these concerns and the damage done to their audiences? This is a much bigger deal than just some upset fans. This was a catastrophic blow and a slap to the face to an already marginalized audience.

Please understand that even though there is anger in my tone and in my heart, this is also coming from a place of love. The Magicians has deeply affected my life and changed me as a person, which is why this betrayal hurts so deeply. Many other fans feel the same way, and many of us are not returning to the fifth season. I cannot speak for the entire fan base, but some recognition and acknowledgement or damage control (and even an apology) would make the world of a difference for an entire fandom that was just stabbed in the back and shaken to their core. Ignoring this problem will only cause a drop in ratings and numbers and be a blow to the network itself.

Thank you for taking the time to read these concerns. 

[professorpalmarosa]

Mint Condition - Mable, Team Flare

Ready for a bath bomb that’s cooler than an Abomasnow? Look no further than Mint Condition - a bath bomb inspired by Team Flare Scientist Mable!

Since Mable had a cooler color scheme and first appeared near Mamoswine Pass, I wanted to give her a very wintry-scented blend. Well...that and it was an excuse to use my super cute snowflake molds to make mini-bombs!

I recommend using two or three Mint Condition mini-bombs in a tub at once: especially after a long and grueling hike or workout. The three mint oils and Juniper Berry Essential Oil in this blend will soothe sore muscles, while the Camphor Essential Oil is my all-time fave decongestant.

The end result is a cool, clean, soothing smell that’s one part wintry and one part medicinal--but in a good way! Like a Vicks steam treatment and hot bath paired with the cooling effects of mint oils!

Now it’s time to talk about the pros and cons of these oils from a safety perspective…

Aromatherapy isn’t just about pretty smells and scented bath water. Essential oils are in such a high concentration that even absorbing them through your skin can leave you with the therapeutic (and potentially toxic) benefits.

If you are allergic to a plant, you are 100% without question going to be super allergic to the essential oil.

There’s also such a thing as contraindications: where some oils may affect you in weird ways if you have a certain medical condition or take certain medications.

The information below is for your safety if you want to attempt to make this blend at home (as a bath bomb, a body spray, or even scented bath salts). And do be sure to wear gloves. Some of these oils (like Peru Balsam or Lemon Tea Tree) have recommended dilution rates as small as 0.4%. You don’t want that to slide on bare skin!

Peppermint Essential Oil (25% of Synergy)

Everyone knows the smell of peppermint. It’s one of the most famous scents in the world and brings to mind candy canes, evening tea, and cool air. This essential oil is most often used as a wake-up smell and can help improve your concentration.

Pros:

Peppermint Essential Oil is used for lots of mouth, nose, and throat issues (common cold, cough, inflammation of the mouth/throat, sinus infections, and respiratory infections). People also use it for a series of digestive problems (heartburn, nausea, morning sickness, cramps, upset stomach, gas, and diarrhea).

Peppermint reduces inflammation, so some folks will use it for liver, gallbladder, and menstrual problems. It’s a useful painkiller and can be inhaled to reduce the effects of a bad cough or cold.

It’s also a great “wake-up” scent and studies have shown that smelling Peppermint Essential Oil can make it easier to concentrate on tasks. Try diffusing it while you study or during a test!

Cons:

The most comment side effects of Peppermint Essential Oil may include heartburn and allergic reactions such as flushing, headache, and mouth sores.

Although Peppermint Essential Oil can be purchased as a dietary supplement, please keep in mind that “dietary supplements” in the U.S. can slap virtually anything on the label and get away with it. The FDA isn’t as picky about “supplements”. It is the general opinion of aromatherapists that you shouldn’t ingest essential oils of any sort without first discussing it with your doctor.

Peppermint is not a cat-safe essential oil (due to its menthol content) and is one of the most dangerous ones to use around your kitty. Use with kitty-cat caution!

Wintergreen Essential Oil (20% of Synergy)

Wintergreen Essential Oil is one of my favorite scents, as it reminds me of Wrigley Chewing Gum. It is also the active ingredient in the Village Naturals “Muscle Relief” lotion. I love that lotion and tend to use it when I am experiencing pain, particularly with my lower body.

Wintergreen doesn’t blend with too many things and isn’t as versatile as a lot of the flower or citrus oils are, but it will play nicely with other mint oils. That said, it is very strong. You don’t need as much of it in your synergy to get the scent.

Pros:

Relax your sore and aching muscles! If you ever bought a muscle relief lotion and smelled something minty, chances are what you smelled was Wintergreen Essential Oil or an artificial derivative of it. Like Peppermint, Wintergreen reduces swelling and irritation around sore muscles, joints, and tissues. It works wonders for rheumatism and arthritis. I especially love the fact it’s a wonder oil for lower back pain, which I suffer from.

Fight that winter cold or flu! There is an aspirin-like chemical to Wintergreen that works wonders for pain, congestion, swelling, and fever. You can even make a homemade vapor rub out of coconut oil and Wintergreen Essential Oil to open up your nasal passages. I wouldn’t recommend that if you’re asthmatic, though, as Wintergreen may aggravate your asthma!

Use it to clean your home! Wintergreen Essential Oil combats various type of microbial growths (fungi, bacteria, and viruses). You can put a little in your dishwasher or laundry machine to kill odor-causing bacteria and lingering molds. It’s also a nice oil to add to your shower or toilet bowl if you have a sensitivity to artificial cleaners!

Having digestive problems? Maybe Wintergreen can help! Inhaling or topically applying Wintergreen (with a carrier oil) can increase the amount of stomach acid your body produces, which improves digestion. It’s also a mild diuretic and increases urine production, which cuts down on bloating. Supposedly, you might lose excess fat, sugar, and sodium through your urine.

Feeling a little queasy? Wintergreen’s got you covered! Wintergreen Essential Oil has several anti-nausea properties and can soothe your gastric lining and colon. Sometimes I rub a combination of Wintergreen, Eucalyptus, and Bergamot Essential Oils with fractionated coconut oil and lotion on my abdomen to fight cramps and gastrointestinal turmoil.

Wintergreen is great for your skin and your hair! When applied topically with a carrier oil, Wintergreen Essential Oil kills germs on the skin and fights inflammation, making it a great addition to your skincare routine if you suffer from blemishes, acne, dandruff, oily skin, or oily hair. It’s also a miracle relief for itchy, swollen bug bites.

Feeling a little groggy? Let Wintergreen wake you up! Historically, several Native American tribes in North America used Wintergreen leaves to stay alert and exercise longer. Wintergreen packs a one-two punch of increasing your concentration and wakefulness, all the while making it easier to breathe or carry on with your laborious tasks with less inflammation or swelling. Put it in an aromatherapy pendant or add a drop to your lotion to fight Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And if you’re done with a really intense exercise session, massage the Wintergreen in to reduce the amount of pain and swelling you’ll experience later.

Got a stinky room in your house? Have no fear, because Wintergreen is here! Wintergreen is a wonderful deodorizer. Spray it around your home to make your kitchen or bathroom smell better. You can also spray a drop or two in your toilet or trash can to mask several nasty odors. That said, don’t do that if you have a cat. Cats will get really sick over wintergreen.

Trying to lose weight, but cravings keep making that difficult? Peppermint, Spearmint, and Wintergreen can reduce the severity of those cravings and make you feel satiated. There’s a reason beyond “fresh breath” why so many sugar-free gums are mint flavored!

Add Wintergreen to your oral hygiene routine! I put a drop of Wintergreen Essential Oil on my toothbrush before I use my toothpaste. My breath stays fresher for longer and my mouth feels so much cleaner. Some people also add it to their mouthwash. Just be sure you don’t swallow it!

Cons:

Wintergreen Essential Oil is neither kid-safe nor cat-safe. Nobody under the age of 6 should use it. It can even be deadly to small children, and is deadly for your kitty.

Wintergreen Essential Oil is not an asthma-safe oil. If you have asthma, exercise caution to see if you have a sensitivity to this essential oil before using it on the regular.

Wintergreen Essential Oil is not safe for pregnant or nursing women, as the oil may negatively impact the fetus or baby.

If you take Warfarin (Coumadin) or other medications used to slow blood clotting, NEVER use Wintergreen Essential Oil. Wintergreen can also slow down blood clotting. Mixing this essential oil with your medication can increase your chances of bruising, bleeding, or even internal bleeding.

If you take aspirin, exercise caution in using Wintergreen Essential Oil. Wintergreen contains several similar chemicals to aspirin. Using large amounts of Wintergreen Essential Oil topically may increase your risk for side effects if you’re also taking aspirin at the same time.

Never apply Wintergreen Essential Oil neat (undiluted) on your skin. You will experience skin irritation, whether you have sensitive skin or not. Always use a carrier oil or only put a drop or two of Wintergreen in your bathtub. A little goes a long way!

While it’s never a good idea to ingest essential oils, it’s an especially bad idea to do that with Wintergreen. Ingesting Wintergreen can cause ringing in the ears, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, confusion, anxiety attacks, and horrible stomach pain. When I looked this up on WebMD, it stated that people have even died from this.

Wintergreen Essential Oil may cause an allergic reaction in people with allergies to salicylate compounds (like aspirin) or have nasal polyps.

Spearmint Essential Oil (20% of Synergy)

Spearmint brings to mind Wrigley’s chewing gum (particularly the DoubleMint variety), those little white-and-green discs you get instead of peppermint, and Altoids. It’s a slightly sweeter smell than Peppermint Essential Oil, but carries a bit more bite and blends with some really fascinating things that Peppermint typically won’t.

Pros:

Reduce healing time for scrapes and cuts! Spearmint is a good antiseptic. The myrcene, caryophyllene, and menthol help reduce the risk of a wound becoming infected, which (in turn) speeds up the healing process. The Ancient Greeks used it to treat all kinds of crazy things (like scabies, dermatitis, and many infectious diseases).

Relieve aches and spasms! Menthol (one component of Spearmint) has a cooling effect on the body and relaxes overactive nerves and muscles. Contractions loosen up, overexerted muscles ease up, and it’s a wonder for cramps.

Help your digestive tract! Spearmint’s properties can do good things for your digestive tract when inhaled. Gas can slip out more easily. Queasiness, indigestion, and stomachache ease up.

Regulate your monthly cycle! Spearmint has emmenagogue properties, meaning it can stimulate your period. If you suffer from early menopause or irregular periods, Spearmint Essential Oil may help. Sometimes I use it with Sage and Juniper Berry to speed mine up just before a convention so I won’t have to pack pads. Spearmint promotes the secretion of many female hormones, like estrogen.

Ward off pesky bugs! Bugs hate menthol. If you have a bug problem in your room, consider diffusing Spearmint or Peppermint to keep those creepy crawlies away.

Reduce your stress levels! Spearmint has a calming, cooling effect on the brain. It makes it easier to concentrate and focus. I’ll use it on hangover days to reduce the severity of my headache.

Cons:

Excessive use of Spearmint Essential Oil may cause damage to the uterine lining. It’s probably a good idea not to use this oil while pregnant, attempting to become pregnant, or breastfeeding.

Excessive use of Spearmint Essential Oil may increase your risk for kidney damage. If you already have a kidney disorder or your family has a history of kidney disorders, you might not want to use this oil (and, as a result, attempt to make this blend).

Excessive use of Spearmint Essential Oil may increase your risk for liver damage. If you already have a liver disorder or your family has a history of liver disorders, you might not want to use this oil (and, as a result, attempt to make this blend).

Juniper Berry Essential Oil (20% of Synergy)

If you’re a weirdo like me and love the way a gin and tonic smells, you’ll fall in love with Juniper Berry Essential Oil the first time you sniff it. It’s got that cool, crisp, biting aroma along with a slight medicinal after-scent…all in a good way.

I love blending it with Grapefruit, Balsam Fir, Pine, Cedarwood, Camphor, or anything in the mint family.

Pros:

It’s a helpful digestive aid! Diffuse Juniper Berry for half an hour to an hour. The antispasmodic, tonic, and stomachic properties of this oil can help put that fussy tummy back into working order. Your twisted guts will unravel, you’ll build up more gastric juices, and be able to push whatever made you feel miserable out a little bit faster. Some people even use this oil to get some relief from constipation.

Carrying some extra water weight? Maybe Juniper Berry can help! I’m not gonna lie. I use it for this exact same reason, though I pair it with my Cardamom oil for a workout. I tend to bloat when I eat salty foods or my time of the month arrives. This flushes all that excess water right out! Juniper Berry makes your body sweat more, but also stimulates your kidneys. Just be sure to drink a lot of water if you use it for this purpose!

It’s good for arthritis, spasms, and cramps! Try a 1-3% dilution of Juniper Berry Essential Oil with a carrier (like jojoba, coconut, or sweet almond oil) and rub it into the sore area. It works quickly and should leave you feeling at least a little better in a few minutes.

It’s good for your skin and promotes a pretty complexion! Some people will use a 1-3% dilution ratio to treat eczema and psoriasis trouble spots. Try mixing it with jojoba oil (a carrier) for maximum effect. I’ll a drop of this (and Palmarosa Essential Oil) to my nightly astringent. I only get a zit or two during my cycle and that’s it.

Calm down, get a good night’s sleep, and banish all those stressful thoughts! Dilute the oil and apply it to the back of your neck or chest right before going to bed. I like to add a drop to my lotion and massage my temples after work, especially if it’s one of those days where I’m stuck in back to back development meetings and I think my head’s going to explode. Even a few drops in your bathtub should do the trick!

Cons:

Never apply this essential oil neat (undiluted) on the skin. Some people have reported irritation, redness, swelling, and a burning sensation when applied neat.

Prolonged use of this essential oil may result in kidney problems, seizures, and other severe side effects. Occasional use should be fine.

Juniper Berry is not an oil you should use if you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant. Juniper is a known abortifacent and can interfere with a uterus’s fertility.

If you are diabetic, you may want to avoid Juniper Berry Essential Oil. WebMD stated that there have been reports of this oil lowering people’s blood sugar to unsafe levels.

Never take this oil internally, as it may irritate your gastrointestinal tract.

If you are on any blood pressure medications, contact your physician before using this essential oil in any large capacity, as Juniper Berry Essential Oil may make blood pressure harder to control.

Juniper Berry Essential Oil may make it more difficult to control your blood sugar before and after surgery. If you’re scheduled for surgery, ere on the side of caution and don’t use this essential oil (and therefore the Mint Condition bath bomb) at least 2 weeks before the scheduled surgery.

Juniper Berry Essential Oil is not a kid-safe oil. Don’t use this oil (or bath bomb) with any kid under the age of 10.

Camphor Essential Oil (15% of Synergy)

If you’ve ever used Vicks Vapor-Rub, you know what camphor smells like! It has a very distinct smell and is used in a lot of vapor decongestant vapor treatments.

Pros:

Clear your lungs and fight that cold! Camphor is used in several over-the-counter treatments for stuffy noses, sore throats, and congested airways for a reason. It’s one of the best things on the market to soothe your airways. The Food and Drug Administration has approved medications with 11% or lower concentrations of Camphor oil for chest rubs.

Boost your blood circulation and fight pain! Camphor improves circulation, which in turn can help with numbness, sore muscles, and aching joints. The Food and Drug Administration has approved creams and topical salves with a 3% to 11% ratio of Camphor for pain relief.

Soothe cold sores, bug bites, hemorrhoids, and minor burns! The Food and Drug Administration has approved creams and topical salves with a 3% to 11% ratio of Camphor for relieving itchy skin.

Ease your arthritis! When mixed with glucosamine sulfate and chondroitin sulfate, people in a clinical study mentioned the pain from their osteoarthritis felt less significant. Doctors believe the Camphor was the star of the three chemicals and most helpful.

Fight off toe fungus! Mix Camphor Essential Oil and Lemon Eucalyptus Oil together with Menthol and apply it to your nasty toenails. Apply the treatment daily until the fungus goes away. It works for some people!

Cons:

Never ingest Camphor Essential Oil. The side effects are severe, and sometimes even fatal. Signs of camphor poisoning in humans includes nausea, vomiting, and a burning throat and lungs.

Some people have a sensitivity to Camphor. You may want to do a patch test to confirm you’ll be alright with this oil. If you are, please use the recommended dilution ratio between this oil and carrier oils.

Never apply Camphor Essential Oil to broken skin. Your skin can absorb oils very quickly and you don’t want your camphor levels to turn toxic.

There are multiple types of Camphor Essential Oil out there, some of which can be potentially dangerous and even fatal. Make absolutely sure that you are buying from a reputable source and that your Camphor oil comes from the wood of the Cinnamomum camphora plant.

Camphor poisoning is oftentimes fatal for pets. Do not diffuse Camphor Essential Oil or apply Camphor Essential Oil on a cat, dog, or rabbit. Not only will they get sick from such a mistake, but it could very well kill them.

This is not a kid-safe oil. Do not use with children under the age of 10.

This is not an asthma-safe oil. Those without asthma, however, may reap camphor’s rewards.

[cloudchaserandflitterexplain]

A “brief” talk about the future of CaFE

I’m sure several of you are probably wondering, or maybe have wondered, why did CaFE go on such a long, unannounced hiatus? they’ve existed before, much to my embarrassment, but never this long, and usually I’d at least say something after a few months. But this time, well, it’s been over three quarters of a year. That’s a long time. So what happened? Well, a number of things. There was, of course, my little tiff with CiM. Which has been long since resolved and we’re all friends again, even if I don’t work directly for them any more, which is currently for the best (though maybe I’ll return someday, who can say? It’s not in the foreseeable future, however). Then, well, there was just a lot of little things that affected my mental health as I was recovering from that. Nothing to cause a monumental delay, mind you, but a lot of stuff that just made me not want to, or just incapable of writing about cute ponies talking about card games. I did manage to write half of the next CaFE early in the year, but I never did manage to finish it. Then, well, the big thing happened. And, fair warning, it’s not good. How bad is it? Well, even Pinkie Pie knows there are some things that no amount of parties and balloons and cheer can help you with, and this is one of those. My father died in March this year. To make matters worse, it happened just about a week before my sister’s wedding (which was lovely, though very bittersweet considering the circumstances). And I did not take it well at all. Writing was close to impossible for a long time. And every time I thought about saying something about CaFE, I just couldn’t. I tried many times. I really did. I was not myself for months. I still managed to go to BABS and Everfree and put on a good show and enjoy myself, though I had to work harder for it. I’m not 100% I managed to mask everything entirely, and I’m sorry if I affected anyone negatively. For what it’s worth, I really did try my best not to. But let’s get back to the writing. It was hard. Very hard. I kept starting things I wanted to write about, then abandoning them. The best I could manage was the Surprise’s Cards that Beat the Odds series (which I think I did a decent job with, though it’s pretty close to over) and barely managing Silver Spanner (which I honestly think helped keep me sane as it was something I could do for everyone that involved very little effort on my part. Though there have definitely been more mistakes in the past few months than I’d have liked). The fact that I managed to finish two thirds of the Bichromatism mini series is, quite frankly, astounding to me as it has been about five times harder to write than something like this normally would be. But progress is progress, and I’m glad to have been able to make it. Bronycon has also helped a lot. I spent a lot of time with my non-CCG friends at the con, one of whom used to be a fanfic writer who published a book with a collection of her short stories from Fimfic and sold it at the Bronycon Bookstore, along with many other writers. It was a thing someone helped organize and push through for them all, and I couldn’t be more proud. Though, admittedly a little jealous since she was having so much fun with her writing stuff and I was just unable to write at all recently. But mostly, I was definitely proud, and enjoying her success alongside her. And, of course, I also did a lot of CCG stuff! I played a silly deck I made with Grand Pause (though we admit it needs a little tuning stil), hung out with people, chatted with people, and so on. I went to the “fire”side chat and asked questions about the next set, a few of which I think were actually pretty good! I even had the impromptu idea at about 90 minutes before Meticulous Talks started to join them in talking about those very same questions, completely surprising cursedchords and Hithroc and, honestly, myself. And overall, I managed to really connect with many CCG players again in a way I hadn’t really done since, well, since too long ago. Being the last Bronycon, of course, there was a lot to see, and do. I looked at all the cute costumes. Hugged Vikingerik’s Scootaloo suit twice.Bought a lot of stuff at the vendor hall (well, 5 things is a lot for me, anyway). Went to a couple panels. Told some jokes. Talked with a random stranger or three. Played board games. And overall, just had an incredibly and unbelievably good time. I even joined an impromptu sing-a-long of Smile Smile Smile (my 100% favourite MLP song, though I’ll easily admit several others are better). Bronycon’s healing process was incredible, and I think it happened at just the right time for me. The MLP fandom, as a whole, is just deeply, truly incredible. It is a community of love, understanding, and tolerance. And it is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever been a part of (despite not really being much of a brony myself, outside the CCG. I know, it’s surprising considering how much I do for the CCG, but true). Which brings us back to CaFE. I’ve been thinking a lot more about CaFE lately, even before Bronycon. A couple weeks ago, I even thought to myself “it’s time to say something. It may not be time to write CafE again, but you should at least say something!” I didn’t, of course, but just thinking that was a good sign that I was on the right track again, even if still a bit away from the station. CaFE is incredibly and exceptionally special to me. It is legitimately the thing I am proudest of making or doing ever. No joke. I don’t know how well I can express this considering how emotional I’m getting typing these words (I’m tearing up on the plane home from Bronycon), but I think it needs to be put in to words. It’s the longest running project I’ve ever had, aside from my first job. I’ve had many people come up to me and praise how much they like it, even to this day. Folks have made fan art for me, including fan animations and comics! I’ve been asked to sign cards featuring one or both of the girls for people, which has always made my day (though it doesn’t happen much anymore). I’ve been told by more than one person it was their favourite pony blog period, despite being 90% just text! I’ve had players new and old tell me they’ve learned about the game reading my blog, and that they love the format of two cute pegasi talking to each other. Cloudchaser and Flitter have become practically synonymous with “competitive player” and “casual player” in this game, and almost everyone who’s read CaFE and seen how well they get along (despite their occasional fight) knows that they too can get along with the kind of player they’re not (granted, that could just be because we;re all MLP fans in general, heh). The girls’ expressions are used both on the official MLPCCG reddit and the official MLPCCG discord, and even in CiM’s Slack! Bots have been named after them by multiple people across multiple platforms. They were the first outside of Enterplay to give spoilers, and they’ve done so every set. And, most importantly, a girl at Nightmare Nights 2014 gave me a spontaneous hug when she learned I wrote that blog, she loved it so much. In short, CaFE hasn’t just touched my life, it’s touched all of yours. And many who don’t read it any more or even play the game any more. Heck, some people who stopped playing the game still read the blog (when it was updating, anyway)! Somehow, CaFE was even influential enough that I was invited to a panel at Bronycon 2016 to talk about them and how they managed to impact you all (along with several other panelists), and it truly is a time I’ll never forget (thanks Teej!).So there was no way I could let it end here. Cloudchaser. Flitter. You may be minor characters in the show, but to the MLPCCG community, you are beacons shining across us all. Bronycon may be over, and Season 9 may be ending soon, but the card game’s still going strong, even if not as strong as it was in years past. You’ve both got work to do. And, well, so have I. So, for those who missed the announcement at Bronycon and/or Meticulous Talks, I’ll say it here, and I’ll say it proudly. CaFE is coming back! In September or even late August. And I couldn’t be more excited. And I hope you all are too. See you all soon!