#trying to get people who don't watch on the hook at the expense of the fanbase they already have

[mrfunnyinthebank]

i think my review of the 2025 royal rumble is that there are moments that are great and worth watching, but you don't have to - and i would say shouldn't, honestly - watch the bad parts for the good parts to make sense

and now that i've phrased it like that, i fear that this was by design to make it the most tiktokable royal rumble of all time

[mrsbarnesblog]

my girl

masterlist

requests are open

summary: even if you knew that you and Rafe were just hooking up, hearing his friend's comments about you, while you were preparing a venue for the event, hurt more than you expected it to

word count: 2k.

warnings: fwb (or smth like that) to lovers, mentions of sex but nothing explicit, Rafe's friends lol, swearing

a/n: soft Rafe is my weakness, I'm sorry. he's on my mind 24/7 and I literally don't know what to write

You were running around the outdoor venue with boxes full of pastry, where in a few hours there was going to be an annual celebration with lots of rich people. For some reason, Ward Cameron, who was paying for everything here, decided that your father’s small bakery was good enough to feed all of the kooks, so from the afternoon on, you were organizing tables to make everything look perfect. 

The place itself looked truly magical—decorated with a lot of flower arrangements, lights and expensive furniture. It was located at Figure 8, so you obviously never had the opportunity to visit it before. It was Kook’s territory, and even with your family’s bakery, which was pretty popular on the island, you were not welcome here.

Just a few minutes ago, Ward himself came to the venue with Rafe and his son’s best friends in order to check how everything was going. 

As soon as your eyes met Rafe’s, you both stopped for a few seconds, too shocked to see each other in a public place. What happened between you and Kook's prince was something that you had never expected to get into, yet here you were. 

You didn’t know what got into you that one night, but out of nowhere, Rafe was talking to you, smiling, looking all sexy and without his usual cockiness, so you couldn’t resist him. 

It wasn’t that you even regretted your decision; it just became more weird every single time you met because he wasn’t bad. Rafe Cameron wasn’t an asshole, which everyone made him seem to be. He was affectionate and surprisingly soft, always checking on you while you two were together and never pressuring you to leave. You wholeheartedly had to admit that it became more than just sex after a few weeks, no matter how hard you tried to deny it. 

You were definitely not dating, mostly because he had never asked you to, but you two were always texting about random stuff, he would even pick you up to hang out at his secret spot on the beach, or just to simply sit in his truck with lots of food and talk. Part of you hated it, but Rafe made you feel so comfortable and safe around him so you were scared to push it and ask him what was happening between you. 

Rafe’s eyes stayed fixated on you as his father, Kelce and Topper stood near him, looking around the venue and chatting. But he could not care less about it because his entire attention was drawn to you and how adorable you looked in your pink tennis skirt and simple white polo with the bakery's logo on it. 

He may or may not be responsible for Ward’s choice of bakery to work with, because Rafe made sure to accidentally mention it a few times, knowing that it would be a good profit for your family. Yet, seeing you here slightly took him off guard, as the first thought that appeared in his head was to go up to you, flirt and make you blush, or just simply kiss you. But he couldn’t, right? At least not until he properly talked to you. 

“Damn, she’s hot, even for a pogue. No wonder you hit it a few times, bro. I'd do it too.” The moment words left Topper’s mouth, Rafe’s heart dropped into his stomach. Kelce snickered, fistbumping Topper, and Rafe cursed himself for running his mouth. He really considered drowning his friends in the nearest lake. 

“Shut your fucking mouth.” Rafe seethed through gritted teeth, elbowing his friend. 

“I would appreciate you both watching your language.” Ward sighed, wincing and rubbing a hand on his beard. He looked at Rafe, who completely ignored his questioning gaze while trying to figure out how to fix it. 

Even with you standing with your back facing them, Rafe saw that you heard it too. Your hand froze in the air, still holding a cupcake, and your shoulders sagged in disappointment and hurt.

Only a few seconds later, you came back to your senses. Your back straightened, you finished decorating the table and you put empty boxes in the trash can. You turned around, showing the fakest smile Rafe had ever seen on your face. Your nails digged in your palm to control yourself, and you stepped closer to the four of them. 

“Mr. Cameron, thank you for working with our bakery. It really means a lot for my family. I did everything and now the event manager should carry on. I, um, should go. I have a lot of stuff to do. Have a great night.” Your eyes were glossy, with tears clearly visible on your waterline. As you awkwardly and in a rush thanked Ward, you didn’t even look at Rafe or either of his friends, knowing damn well that it would break you. 

You didn’t even wait for Ward’s response before storming off, trying to get as far away from these people as possible. Your chest felt too heavy, and the lump in your throat was so hard that you could barely speak. But you didn’t even walk a few feet away before a familiar hand wrapped around your wrist and made you turn around. 

“What do you want from me?” You snapped at Rafe, trying to yank your hand out of his grip. “Don’t touch me, Rafe.”

“This is not what you think it is.” He said, searching for your eyes. His brows were knit together, and his eyes were big and round, almost in fear. 

“Oh no? Isn’t it what I am to you? Just a hit. Just another one on your long list. Why are you bothering to explain anything to me anyway?” You laughed, barely able to hold back your tears. As if it were not enough that you cried in front of Rafe, neither his friends nor his father seemed to mind their own business, obviously listening to your conversation. 

“No. You know that it was more for me, Y/N. I’m serious about you, okay? Topper just cannot filter his fucking mouth.” 

“Stop doing it, Rafe!” You broke, not bothering to hide anymore. “Stop playing with my feelings when you know damn well that you won’t have anything serious with me. I’m not rich, I’m not a kook and I’m not like the prefect girls you usually hang out with. I get it, okay?” You yanked your hand out of his hold, not missing the way Rafe tried to catch it back. Wiping away hot and angry tears with the back of your hand, you look him right in the eyes. “I just wish you didn't give me hope in the first place, because I feel so fucking stupid.” 

“You’re not stupid, Y/N. I don’t care about your money or your status, for that matter. I want you and I mean it. Just let me explain—”

"This is why you would not even speak to me in front of anyone, right? This is why we were always sneaking around. Because you want me, not because you’re too good to be around me.“ You confronted him, not even caring who could hear or see you. From the position where you were standing, you saw a bunch of young waitresses standing not so far away, pretending to work on the table but eyeing you and Rafe every second.

“I’m an asshole. I know it. I know that I didn’t put the label on us and that I fucked up, not doing the right thing.” He stepped closer to you, not breaking eye contact to show that he was sincere. "When Topper and Kelce saw me with you, I panicked and said the only thing that made sense: we were just hooking up. I didn’t want it to be that way, fuck…” Rafe screched the back of his neck in agitation.

“You should go back and stop embarrassing yourself talking with a pogue. I bet your friends found it entertaining. How much did you tell them, hm? Did you share every single detail of what we were doing?” Your voice broke at the end.

“I didn’t tell them anything!”

“Well, I don’t believe you, Rafe!” You sniffed, looking away to distract yourself from the look in Rafe’s eyes. His blue eyes were round, full of concern and it seemed like he was almost panicking. "I understand how guys like you talk about women, but I guess I was stupid enough to believe you would not do that to me. So yeah, you got what you wanted from me and now you can go back to—”

You were rumbling one moment, and the next, two hands pressed on your cheeks, tilting your head up, and Rafe's lips were on yours. You gasped, hands freezing in the air in shock, before slowly moving to Rafe’s shirt to tug on it. 

He didn’t rush; he just firmly yet gently held you against him while his tongue slipped into your mouth, savoiring every second. It’s been just two days since you last seen each other, but God, you missed kissing him. Even if you wanted to move away, you couldn’t. Rafe's palms were on your face, guiding you, while his kiss made your head feel empty and light. He smelled and tasted so good and you hated how quickly you got used to the feeling of his touch on your skin. 

“Everyone can see us.” You mumbled into his mouth. 

“I don’t fucking care, Y/N.” He furrowed, still feeling the wetness on your cheeks from crying. With his thumbs gently rubbing your soft skin, he gave you a few quick kisses before continuing. "I swear, all I said to them was that we just hooked up, because it is what it was at that moment. I wouldn’t have shared anything intimate about you, baby. Please believe me when I say this.” Rafe sighed, resting his forehead on yours. His nose bumped against your—something that he started doing when you were alone in the bed, laying face to face and just looking at each other. "I am sorry I made you feel like you were just sex for me, because you weren't. Spending time with you was the best fucking time of my day, and whatever that was between us, I don’t want it to end.”

“Me neither…” You whispered, feeling warmth rushing through your body when Rafe wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you even closer into him. He placed a kiss on the top of your head and then you felt him turning around, seemingly studying people around you.

“Since everyone saw us today, do you think I can take you away with me right now?” 

“Take me away? But you have an event in a few hours, and I have to work.”

“No, now we have an event and we have to find you a dress. I’ll handle your work and find someone who can deliver your orders.” Your head snapped up, only to see a proud grin on Rafe's face.

“You’re joking, right?” You pulled away, laughing. “I don’t have such clothes nor do I have money to buy them, and I definitely wasn’t invited.” 

“That’s why I’m taking you to the store now. And since you are my girl now, you’ll be my plus one.” He just shrugged, probably unaware that he had just filled your stomach with freaking butterflies. 

“I’m your girl?” 

Rafe silently looked you in the eyes for a few seconds, and it seemed like he was trying to reassure himself about something. His eyes then shifted to your lips, as he dragged you back to his body, lowering himself to mumble against your mouth. “Yeah, you are my girl.”

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

considering that age gap reader and dick are the same age i wonder what their relationship is like?

"Paris is beautiful this time of year," Dick said watching a gaggle of models walk by and adjusting his sunglasses. "Hey Y/N-"

"I'm not helping you hook up with my old friends but I'll introduce you to a few people after that you're on your own," you tell him, shooing paparazzi out of your way like they're particularly irritating chickens.

"Happen to know anyone with a few good tricks-" Jason started.

"Ew," you tell them rolling your eyes, "One more word and I'm going to find a hose." You were exhausted. You were a bundle of nerves. And while you usually didn't mind the two of them trying to get you to play wingwoman for them- because you knew everyone they could ever want to date in Hollywood and other places- not today. This was all just a bridge too far today.

Behind you, you don't see them trade a look. Closing ranks closer to your back. Bruce, as a rule didn't stop you from doing anything. Not really. You could tell him tomorrow you wanted to go to school for Astrophysics and he'd personally help you research schools and sign the tuition check. But- that didn't make him not paranoid. And that didn't mean he was going to let you go an ocean away alone. Especially not to an event this size. Without security he trusted.

And Dick and Jason could see it in your face. You were too tired and too distracted to pay close enough attention. You'd make mistakes. It would put a bigger target on your back. Especially this week. There'd be no dressing down. Not really. You'd look stunning. Expensive. And Everyone was buzzing about you from the second you got off the plane. Bruce's absence was noted. And by the minute, that target just got bigger and brighter.

"So, if we can't plan our hook ups," Jason huffed, "Can we at least plan dinner? I'm starving."

"Same," Dick added. Maybe, the boys figured, if they got something to eat and a glass of wine into you you'd chill the fuck out. And dish on who was single.

[skittles-secrets]

can I please request how Bruce would react to the reader getting jealous of someone else trying to flirt with him? could be funny or cute or reassuring maybe — tysm! 🫶

your husband invited you to a gala and u get jelly

in all of your time as a married couple (all of six months) he had never invited you to a wayne family gala. he hosts one every month or so. you figured he had his reasons. he figured you knew you were always welcome. you didn't put that one together, though.

you were never really a jealous person, that wasn't what you were like or how you liked to think. he trusted you, so you trusted him and that's how you guys worked. you didn't even know how mad it would make you when you saw other people trying to take your place as his number one, especially when you knew all they wanted from him was his money.

either way, backtracking to a few hours ago, that was the case. now, it's not. you were sitting in bruce's office as he planned for the next wayne gala. he decided that this month it should be an elegant gala, and every elegant man had an elegant partner on his arm for even more elegance, duh.

he patted his thigh to invite you to sit. you did as he asked. he invited you to do it because he knew you liked to anyways. "say, y/n, what do you think of joining me to the next wayne gala?" he asked you. he had an air of nonchalance in his tone, but it didn't match with the apprehension on his eyebrows or the little 'please' that slipped past his lips in a small breath.

you hesitated. you didn't have clothes for something like that. "you're making the face," he pointed out in your silence. he told you he'd be sure to let you know every time you made the worry face, and he had really held true to that so far. "you're thinking about the clothes. i bought you three outfits hand-tailored, you can pick."

--

needless to say, you were convinced. it didn't matter what you said, he was just too persuasive. so as people flooded in through the main front door of the wayne manor, you sat back and watched it happen. bruce had a gentle hand on your shoulder, ready to introduce you to anyone who was curious.

nobody really did ask, though, so you walked away to get the two of you something to drink. you had alfred pick something for you because you weren't sure what you'd like, but alfred always knows what your preferences are. you'd only been gone for less than a minute, and there were already three people flirting with him.

you could spot a blonde girl, a brunette man, and a woman with black hair. seriously? all it took was 20 seconds and the vultures were already out to get him? you figured that was why he never invited you to a gala before, he didn't want you to be upset with him for things he couldn't control like he usually does.

you approached the group and hooked your arm under bruce's. you smiled at the guests. you figured the 'billionaire-playboy-playboy-no-longer' article didn't really reach the directed masses. he sighed in relief when he saw your face. "oh, right, jenna, chloe, and wyatt, this is my spouse, y/n. this is the first gala they've been to since we got married. don't they look wonderful tonight?"

he said this all with a charming smile on his face. you could so trust him. how could anyone not? you knew he was a very trustworthy man and he'd done nothing but prove it to you more and more every day you spent together. he intertwined your fingers together, and it revealed your expensive ring.

you didn't even have to yell at him to say all that? you felt so special. the group tired of the taken man very quickly and dispersed in search of another rich dude to hog.

"bruce! that was so nice! i love you." you said quickly. you were so charmed. that smile really did do wonders on people's thoughts for him, that was for sure. he looked down at you and kissed your forehead. then, he used his index finger and thumb to make you look up at him so he could kiss your lips ever so gently.

you really made no mistakes showing up to that gala.

thank you so much for this request anon and i hope this is what you were looking for.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 175 }

heartbreak feels so good.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

warnings: mentions of physical intimacy, but nothing too explicit.

{ we could cry a little, cry a lot | don't stop dancing, don't dare stop | we'll cry later or cry now | you know it's heartbreak | we could dance our tears away | emancipate ourselves | we'll cry later or cry now, but baby | heartbreak feels so good }

anonymous said: HELLO!! ⭐ anon here and I have an idea. I literally can't stop thinking about it. It's gonna make my brain hurt so I won't hide it any longer ☹️

GAHAHAHAHAHAHA imagine Jinwoo who had a one night stand with reader. It was like after a party and they decided to hook up for one night, but reader regretted it afterwards bc of how shameful she thought she was—like bravely being involved with the Sung Jinwoo in such field??? Also what—he agreed and looked smug too or was she mistaken???

Jinwoo already knew reader and had been eyeing her for a while but didn't say anything about it. Before he even woke up, she was already gone and he was instantly reminded of the night they spent together.

Pookie got awkward after that and started to avoid Jinwoo. Meanwhile, little did she know, he actually liked to observe reader from afar. He'd often find it cute when she'd take one step away from him sideways as the tip of her ears go red.

Idk man one day Jinwoo just said "fuck this let's go on a date" and then boom their relationship bloomed. I'm so into this trope 😭 no toxicity, just two people being awkward and slowly exploring their actual feelings for each other. I'm sorry if this is too long, but still, if you saw this, thank you for reading. I hope you have a good day! I just can't help but yap every single change I get. ♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

this had to be the biggest mistake of your life-

but truly, how could you have possibly even try to think straight when you had wanted nothing more than to just play pretend for one night? to actually feel like you were cherished and loved by someone who meant a lot to you?

the party you attended was, of course, thrown as a celebration for hunters and healers alike. the chairman had gone all out for everyone who had worked hard for the nation and wanted to give everyone a chance to de-stress and enjoy themselves.

from the fanciest bottles of champagne and wine that cost more than your salary to the perfectly catered food that seemed to suit everyone’s cravings and needs-

admittedly, you felt a bit out of your element.

the fact that so many people were here at this venue made you feel incredibly overwhelmed. in hopes of trying to maintain your sanity, you head over to the waiters and waitresses serving glass upon glass of expensive liquor, downing each of them while praying that the liquid courage would take effect and you could properly mingle with everyone else.

after downing just a few glasses of bubbly champagne, you could feel the heat against your cheeks coupled along with a slight tipsiness as the alcohol courses through your veins. yet, in the midst of your increasing drunken stupor, the strange sensation of being watched was what ultimately made you face him-

the tenth s-rank hunter, sung jinwoo.

he was leaning against the wall, tending to his own glass of red wine as his grey eyes remained rooted to your form. an almost mischievous grin was felt spreading across your lips, noticing how a certain blond hunter wasn’t latched on to him like a leech.

jinwoo is an incredibly fine specimen… i could work with this.

the alcohol in your system gave you the much needed courage to sidle up to him, your lips turned up in a smile as you casually smoothed out your dress. “hey hunter sung, funny seeing you here. you have always remained so elusive during gatherings like this.”

a look of pure amusement was shining within his grey eyes. “well, i figured it was time to change that, since it would be rude not to show up to at least one of the chairman’s events.”

you hum at his answer while sliding your hand up his dress shirt, earning a choked sound from him. “hm, you know, i was shocked to not see hunter cha clinging to you tonight. she’s the type that can never seem to leave you alone…”

“ah, w-well, she doesn’t always wish to hang out with me now that i’ve- wait, what are you doing?”

wow, his skin is so smooth… i can feel his muscles from beneath this flimsy dress shirt.

jinwoo’s breath hitches when your press the palm of your hand against his chest, purposely trailing your touches down to his abdomen as you leaned up to whisper in his ear. “the chairman said he rented out some floors of the hotel in case his guests got tired. shall i keep you company instead of cha hae-in tonight?”

you never got a chance to hear jinwoo’s answer or see his expression. simply grabbing a hold of his hand, you took the elevators to one of the booked floors, taking a card key from one of the hotel staff before shoving jinwoo into one of the rooms.

all you wanted was a chance to experience this type of intimacy with a man you respected and admired-

but you weren’t expecting jinwoo to be so gentle with you throughout it all.

you didn’t expect him to kiss every inch of your skin, filling you with so much pleasure that you became sensitive to his every touch.

you didn’t expect him to slowly make love to you, tangling your limbs together like he never wanted to let go of you.

and you certainly didn’t expect to experience such an intense release throughout your night together with jinwoo.

with the post lovemaking (and post champagne) quality kicking in just a few hours later, you awaken in the middle of the night with a start, feeling cold as the night air pricked at your skin, sending goosebumps down the length of your arms. your heart was a pounding mess as you ran a hand through your tangled hair.

recalling the ache felt between your legs, you look behind you to see jinwoo still sound asleep. he lay on his stomach, with the sheets just barely clinging on to his muscled back, making your mouth water in response.

your lips itched with the sudden desire to latch against his skin;

your whole body was screaming at you to just lay next to him and bask in his warmth;

but it was the more rational part of your mind that stopped you from acting on those irrational urges.

he’s going to wake up and regret sleeping with you.

with a purse of your lips, you allow your bare feet to touch at the carpeted floors. you slowly began to pick up the remnants of your undergarments while hastily putting them on along with your now wrinkled dress.

never once did you avert your gaze from jinwoo.

never once did he awaken to try and stop you from leaving.

it’s for the best.

giving the sleeping jinwoo one last look of yearning, you silently left the hotel room with every intention of never seeing the famous hunter ever again.

{ … }

to say you were embarrassed after that night would be the understatement of the century.

you had little clue as to truly how much time had passed, since your mind kept giving you flashbacks of how drunk and needy you were-

and also how caring jinwoo was when he willingly spent the night with you.

this embarrassment was what fuels you to continue avoiding jinwoo like a damn plague, with you taking on much lower leveled raids, raids that jinwoo wouldn’t pay the slightest attention to while slowly burying yourself with your duties.

you never sought to join any guilds and made it your life’s mission to stay far away from ahjin’s building, never once wishing to run into jinwoo.

in fact, you were perfectly fine with acting like your one night stand with him never happened at all.

however, unlucky for you, jinwoo himself didn’t seem to share that same sentiment.

{ … }

the moment you left him that night was the moment jinwoo had his first taste of true regret.

he felt so happy and excited when you approached him and invited him to spend the night with you. you never knew it, but jinwoo was achingly in love with you. he had hoped that with this chance, he could spoil you rotten with pleasure while taking great lengths to worship you; to love you like he had always wanted to.

when he could feel the pleasure washing over you with each and every stroke, jinwoo had gone a little crazy over you. the poor hunter had to bite down on his lips to prevent his words of utter love and devotion for you from spilling out.

but instead of choosing to tell you with words, he tells you with his actions alone.

yet still, it wasn’t enough to keep you by his side-

which was frustrating, to say the least.

jinwoo was no fool; he could tell that you were taking great lengths to avoid him. each time he would try to find you (whether it be during raids or just in general around the city) you would find ways to avoid ever meeting him by either switching out with another hunter / healer, or using the crowd to hide yourself away from him.

whenever this happens, jinwoo could only manage to let out an exasperated sigh in response. his hair would become a mess from the sheer amount of times he had run his fingers through them, trying to think of new ways to talk to you and finally confess.

throughout it all, jinwoo was left feeling a little listless, his mind always managing to go back to you…

by now, jinwoo had become desperate to finally have you.

while staring blankly at the ceiling of his office, jinwoo leans back against his chair while whispering your name.

if jinwoo couldn’t get to you by fair means, then he would have to start playing dirty, using his abilities as the shadow monarch to finally get through to you.

{ … }

so far, everything had been going according to plan on your end.

you had been successfully avoiding jinwoo for close to 4 months now, and when you were certain his lingering presence was no longer felt or seen within your periphery did you finally decide to head out for the night.

you were dying to get out of your apartment, wanting to try that new café or head to your go-to bookstore to read a new novel or two. yet your desire to always avoid jinwoo made you turn into a bit of a hermit (albeit unwillingly, but still.)

basking in the night air and the bustling sounds of seoul, you walked with a bit of a bounce in your step, thinking about your plans for the night. while you walked, you kept your gaze forward, and was caught off guard by the strangest phenomenon.

one minute, the sidewalk was free of any pedestrians, and the next, a man wearing an expensive looking coat appears just a mere inches away from you.

you recall letting out a gasp, hands already outreached to try and avoid face planting against the man’s broad back-

however, when he turns around was when you felt all of the air leave your lungs.

sung jinwoo was now facing you, his height still towering over you as his arms remained open, casually catching you within his embrace as your face landed against his chest. by now, your heart was pounding, making the blood rush to your ears as you began to feel dizzy.

“looks like i finally caught you.” a rich chuckle fills your ears when jinwoo places a lingering kiss against the top of your head, causing you to let out several sputters of his name.

“h-how did you-“

“did you forget who i am… and what i can do?”

his question successfully makes your heart skip beats, thinking back to the rumors that pertained to jinwoo and his ability to summon millions of shadow soldiers. along with this ability, you also knew that he could place many of those soldiers within anyone’s shadow while exchanging places with them on a whim.

“what? w-when did you manage to place your soldiers within my shadow?”

jinwoo hums, placing a hand beneath your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. “when you came up to me at the party and lead me back to the hotel room.” a sly smile paints his handsome features when he leans down to whisper against your ear, “but you have to understand, even before that night, i was already half in love with you. i couldn’t help it when you gave me such a perfect opportunity.”

his sudden confession nearly makes you fall to your knees, but jinwoo manages to catch you in time, wrapping his arms around your waist while holding you even closer to him.

“so tell me, my beloved treasure, why you were so dead set on avoiding me?” he meets your gaze then, eyes filled with a subtle look of pain. “do you know how much it hurt me, seeing you ignoring me so blatantly like that?”

your breathing comes out as uneven, with you avoiding his gaze as you played with the front of his shirt, “i’m sorry, i thought that night was the only way to experience that type of intimacy with you. i convinced myself that i was nothing to you… and i-“

you hear jinwoo let out a hiss of your name before crashing his lips against yours in a searing kiss. it was enough to make you swallow your words as you moaned into his kiss, shyly kissing him back as jinwoo tightens his arms around you.

“shut up.” he manages to hoarsely say against your lips. “you drive me so fucking crazy all the time, but i still love you this much. never talk down about yourself in such a way ever again, because from this point on, you’re mine.”

you look into his eyes once more and see them burning a deep purple for you. there wasn’t a hint of a lie within the depths of his gaze, and the truth of his confession was finally beginning to sink into you.

“o-oh…”

your heart seemed to be beating a mile a minute now, racing so much that it overwhelmed you with its rapid palpitations.

letting out one last sigh of your name, jinwoo brings your head back into his chest, hugging you tightly. “when i’m done holding you like this, i’m going to take you out on a much needed date, and you are finally going to give us a chance. if you try to run again, just know that i will keep chasing you while chipping away at the walls you stubbornly built around your heart.”

you let out a tiny squeak, but couldn’t help but grin in response to his passionate words. “your plan is already working.” you murmur against his chest.

moving away from jinwoo, you look up at him with bright eyes all while giving him a genuine smile. “my heart is already yours, so-“

jinwoo interrupts you yet again, this time by picking you up and spinning you around in happy circles, hands clutched tightly against your sides when he brings you back down to him. nuzzling his nose against yours, you watch as a smirk paints his gorgeous features.

“it’s about damn time you finally admitted your feelings for me.”

and with yet another kiss shared beneath the city lights, you no longer felt the pangs of heartbreak filling your veins, feeling it slowly morph into the requited love you had always desired with your beloved sung jinwoo ♡

a.n. - and i’m so happy to finish this. this should be my 40th jinwoo oneshot, which is insane to think about 😭 currently unedited but, i hope you enjoyed this @ ⭐️ anon 🥹

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[loveundrwrld]

rich yandere x con artist/scammer reader (gender neutral)

cw: blackmailing, unhealthy relationship (on both sides, lol), implied stalking, etc.

you, a young, attractive person struggling with finances, have a clever way of getting by. 

it was simple- you flirt and attract rich, lonely people. the dumber the better.

once you get your hooks into them, you move into their place as their significant other (letting you live in luxury apartments and mansions rent-free.) you ask for expensive gifts. you “borrow” small items from his house that you can sell, like watches or rings.

and, if they have not caught on to you at that point- you do your final trick- you cry and say you desperately need a lot of money, for one reason or the other. you say you need it for college tuition, or you say that your mother desperately needs surgery. 

and then, once you get the money you’re looking for- you find one way or another to disappear from their life. make them think that you run off with someone else so they won’t want you back. you use a new fake name, each time- so they wouldn’t even know where to look for you even if they did.

you set your eyes on a new target and you initially think that he’ll be an easy con. even more so than usual. you set your sights on rich yandere, a nepo baby heir to the fortune of a successful company.

he’s very sheltered, very inexperienced. it seems that he’s never dated anyone before you. it's no surprise, then, that he falls for each of your lies so easily without any questions.

all that you have to do in return is kiss him, tell him you love him, and let him hold you. very simple for someone who’s used to that sort of thing and more with people you barely know.

he moves in with you very quickly- letting you live with him in a big, beautiful mansion far faster than even you expected.

when you try tell him your planned out sob story, he just shushes you, kisses you sweetly, and gives you whatever you want when you ask. there’s no need to stress, baby, he’s there for you.

after a while you start getting cocky, forgetting to apply your typical level of caution. you ask for far more money than usual with your scheme. and far more often.

surprisingly, rich yandere never seems to care at all. and never seems to notice when your stories don’t add up together. 

actually, now that you think about it, he never even asked how you were doing in college even after he gave you all that money for “tuition” . . . 

after a while, you start to think . . . it’s only a matter of time before he catches on, right? and then, you start to subtly drop hints, to make your ‘mysterious’ disappearance in his life make sense. you start to mention a man you know and seeming just a little too interested in him.

you quickly see a new side to him. he stops you in your tracks one day and grabs you by the shoulders using your real name. “does he treat you as well as i do (reader)?” he asks. “remember how much money i gave you? he could never do that for you.”

frightened at being caught in your lies, you calm him down in the meanwhile and plan to escape the house at night to make your disappearance.

to your surprise, however, you notice that he's installed new security cameras right outside your shared room some time ago . . . almost like he was expecting this exact turn of events.

and if you try to escape again, well . . . he's quick to remind you. "no one else would like it if they heard what you did to me. if i tell them what you did, things could be very bad for you, baby, considering how much money you took . . .”

but, of course . . . if you don't leave him, nobody else has to know. so you won't leave him, right?

[blorbocedes]

BROCEDES! ROOMMATE AU + UNEXPECTED VIRGIN!

‘Take a shot if your body count is more than 5!’

Most of the crowd drinks, even those with obviously shifty eyes and guilty demeanours. Lewis drinks.

He was coursemates with Adrian the previous semester and had to hear his bitching and moaning about the bitches he gets – the lack thereof, spots him drinking too. Nico’s standing at the end of the couch, expensive loafers careful to step around the sticky spilled beer.

He nurses his red solo cup, untouched. Lewis frowns.

‘Take a shot if your body count is double digits!’

Fewer people drink this time. The crowd goes ‘ooh’ at the ones who do. Technically, Lewis’ is 7 – 8 if you count the blowjob and her getting her period at the last second, opting out. But college athletes have a reputation to maintain, so Lewis finishes off his cup.

This time, Nico is watching him. Smiles when their eyes meet and does a mock salute, lips still not grazing his drink.

What the fuck? What could it be? It bothers Lewis that Nico’s not being honest. He's seen Nico half-lidded hanging off some guy’s arm at a party or cuddled into some girl to know better. Although, since Nico has access to all the population instead of 50%, it would make sense if his count is twice as high.

A pretty girl in a low cut top and blonde highlights taps Lewis on the arm to dance with her, and all thoughts of his roommate and how many people he fucks are forgotten.

A few hours later, the party has died down. Cold pizza and the music is less in-your-face, more indie. A small group gather on the floor playing the laziest truth or dare with a half empty bottle of Bacardi. The guy beside Nico is in an obnoxious leather jacket and tight pants, and his hand rests on Nico’s thigh.

It falls on Lewis.

“So… Lew-iss,” Natalie? maybe asks, voice slurring a little. “Do you remember when you first met Nico?”

Nico raises an interested eyebrow. Of course he remembers. However, Lewis is aware they asked the question because people think him and Nico are secretly hooking up because they live together, and since Nico’s seen with everyone. His teammate Felipe and his girlfriend are within earshot.

“Nah, man. I don't remember shit like that. I remember when I like, lost my virginity.” Lewis offers as bait.

Nico frowns, it's cute on him. Brows wrinkled up.

Naomi(!) bites. “Tell us about how you lost your virginity.”

“That's two questions.” Lewis leans back, flashing his most charming gap-toothed smile. Everyone's too drunk to keep track of whose turn it is.

Nico disappears off with Mr. Skinny Jeans.

It's a little while later when Lewis has smoked a spliff to clear his head, rejecting the blonde highlights girl’s offer back to her dorms which is on the other side of campus, when Nico returns, hair mussed and shirt buttoned more than it was when he left.

“Home?” He asks. Lewis follows.

Nico’s a pretty chill roommate. He grew up with a silver spoon and an only child, so he has no concept of sharing. Instead, when he orders Thai, he makes sure to order for two so that Lewis doesn't try to eat any of his dumplings. Lewis gets to have the flat to himself a lot since Nico disappears for the night, returns at early hours of the night with glitter on his cheek or bite marks on his neck and a cheeky smile before collapsing on the couch. Lewis can't complain, it makes bringing girls over easier. And when Nico is studying, he keeps to himself. Lewis will know, because there will be an extra coffee for him. In turn, Lewis gets rids of the bugs in the flat – the first time Nico seeing a cockroach asking if they should call pest control or sue their landlord for unhygienic living conditions.

“Why didn't you drink? At the body count question?” Lewis asks, breaking the amiable silence of their walk home, and the lack of filter signalling he was drunker than he thought.

Nico hums thoughtfully. “Cause that would be a lie?”

Lewis tries to make sense of that, doing math in his head. “No…? It wasn't about the exact number, just if it's more than.”

“Yeah,” Nico smiles, unlocking the door and stepping side. “That would be a lie.”

Lewis rolls his eyes. Nico and his riddles and his games. “It would only be a lie if you're a virgin. Which you're not.” He snorts at the thought.

Nico’s eyes flash dangerously. “Yeah?” Nico turns around, effectively trapping Lewis between the door. “You think about who gets in my pants a lot, Hamilton?”

Lewis feels a flush rise in his neck. Thank god for melanin, if he were Nico he'd have two giant red spots on his cheek right now.

“I don't care who you sleep with. Or don't sleep with.” Lewis tries to go for gruff, chill, but it doesn't quite land. He gets out of Nico’s cornering, going to the couch. “It's just weird you’d lie considering Jenson–”

“Oh if Jenson said it, it must be true.” Nico’s sarcasm is shrill and annoyed, betraying how drunk he is.

It does make Lewis pause. Jenson has a habit of embellishing stories of his conquests. The fated twins threesome never happened, he had separately hooked up with twins. Lewis remembers Jenson bragging in the locker room how he rocked Britney’s world and Lewis had worn his his shin guards with a little more force than necessary.

“Rock my world?” Nico rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Hardly. We made out for forty minutes until he came in his pants.”

TMI because now Lewis is inundated of images of Nico, mouth swollen and bodies entangled while fully clothed.

“So you're actually a virgin? What about all those people?” Lewis is still trying to wrap his head around it. Nico is the most sexual person he knows. He eats yoghurt off the spoon distractingly, and has no shame walking around the apartment naked. Very sexual liberation chic, and Lewis had to draw up boxers boundaries.

Nico wrinkles his nose. “So you get with the easiest lay on campus and you're the only person he won't fuck. Do you want to admit something's weird and wrong with you, or do you just go about inferring you had sex? It's not like I'm going to correct them.” He must see something on Lewis’ face because he interjects, defensively offensive, “Don't ask why it's better to have a reputation. I know your tells. You drank twice.”

Lewis chooses his words carefully, gentle like he's not trying to spook a wild cat. “I'm not judging. I'm just surprised. Nobody figured it out?”

Nico softens at the tone. He sinks on the couch beside Lewis. “Honestly, you're the first person to notice.”

Lewis finds that sad. “Hey, we don't need to talk about this if it's a sensitive topic. I'm sorry I –”

“Jeez, Lewis. I don't have trauma, I'm just frigid. A pricktease. Nothing bad ever happens to a Rosberg.” Nico works on the complicated laces of his boots. He hates being pitied.

Lewis leans over. “It's really not all that cracked up to be. The first time, at least. Cause you're bad at it and you don't know how to pace yourself. Lots of people wait until they're ready. My first time, it was this girl I was seeing after GCSEs. We couldn't find a place so we got in my dad’s old Subaru. Lasted like 30 seconds. Wiped the whole place down but I was convinced he would know somehow. Come Sunday, I went and told him. He hadn’t the slightest clue. So that was an awkward drive to church.”

Nico gawks him, crumpling into himself laughing. Lewis regrets being a vulnerable and oversharer of a drunk. Nico’s gelled hair has come undone from hours of partying and falls over his eyes. Lewis is never going to open up to anyone ever again.

“On God's day, Lewis?! And you think I should save myself until marriage? Find myself a nice, righteous wife?”

“Someone you trust. Someone you're into.” The room spins a little. Nico Rosberg is a virgin.

“Someone who’d remember when we first met?” Nico challenges. "That's not very nice, is it? I can't believe you forgot--"

“You were checking out an encyclopaedia on space at the library. I wanted the Senna autobiography. We were 12.”

Nico’s eyes go wide. Lewis holds his gaze.

[allmightskitten]

Reincarnation AU extra: Doflamingo's POV (and it's porn)

I impulsively started...something...while procrastinating on a big report I was supposed to be working on, so. I don't know if the finished product will ever see the light of day, but! Here is a preview of it!

Tags: Explicit, Dofcora, Doffy/Unnamed Female Character (with a continuous stream of Rosi-thoughts I.e he inadvertently manages to make it about incest even when it's a perfectly normal partner–)

☆

A white lie never hurt anyone.

That's what he tells himself as he leads the pretty blonde back to his hotel room. He can't help it, the way she's been eyeing him all night.

The way her short hair curls outwards around her ears like Rosinante's. Her eyes are not the same colour, but they have that same sly lilt, and her lipstick is deep red like the colour he sometimes wears.

He'd told Rosinante he'd stopped seeing other people. That was mostly true. Nobody else could hold his attention now.

"Do I remind you of someone else?" the woman asks curiously.

When he'd managed to get exactly nowhere with the person he'd decided to prioritise above all else, though, it should be perfectly reasonable to make an exception every now and then.

"Yes," he says, not bothering to feel bad about it.

She runs her fingers up his bare chest.

"Are they pretty?" she inquires like she would really like the answer to be affirmative.

Doflamingo grins, appreciating the woman's skewered priorities. He appreciates a partner on the same wavelength. He does not care for people who try and pretend they are anything more than strangers looking for release.

"Striking," he promises, tilting her face up. She has a sleek jaw and fuller cheeks. She doesn't blush as much as Rosinante, but in the dim lighting, he can forgive that.

"You're really fucking hot," the woman says, pressing her body to his. She's small, a lot smaller than Rosinante. "I knew you'd be an asshole. There are no kind men who look like you."

That is something Rosinante might say to him, a scathing insult and a compliment at once. He likes it.

Doflamingo kisses her, pays special attention to the taste of her lipstick when he licks the seam of her lips. It tastes like bitter clay. It has an almost chemical scent, the texture is matte.

Her short dress is easy to get around. He doesn't even have to take it off, it's enough to ruch it up as he continues to demand her breath and her groans and keening high protests. She's begging for a break to breathe. He only grants it to rub her mound over thick cotton underwear– a choice that makes him laugh, because it seems practical and totally contrary to the flimsy little dress– and when she gasps for him to slow down, he hikes her legs around his hips to take this affair to bed.

The woman is gorgeous, he thinks, exactly his type in her filthy little dress and red lipstick and blonde curls and pale skin that may have never seen a tan. If he ignores that she's too short, he can picture Rosinante in her place, looking utterly debauched from a little attention.

Fucking hell.

The thought is distracting, all-consuming. The blonde woman looks up at him bonelessly and he imagines Rosinante the same, except he would probably also glare at him, mutter a few choice curses. Doflamingo would need to try harder to ruin him.

He pushes the dress up, hooks his fingers into her underwear and pulls it down past her thighs. She's watching him work with a high blush on her cheeks, and once they're past her ankles, he realises what that look is for.

"I take it you were not expecting to get laid tonight."

She musters enough strength to snatch the garment from his hand.

"Some of us are flat broke, okay?" she says defensively. "And it's more important to be comfortable, anyway! Do you think all women just wear sexy matching lingerie sets all the time?"

He's not critical of her poor choice. Surprisingly, it's the opposite. He's reminded of the time he assumed Rosinante was wearing an expensive scent when it was really some cheap shit from a home goods store.

He cracks an absurd smile.

Apparently he is into cheap clothes and scents now thanks to Rosinante. When he had such expensive taste before...

"It doesn't matter," he says instead with a shrug. "It's coming off anyway."

"If you have such a big problem with it you're welcome to buy me new shit," she grumbles, though she folds almost immediately when he puts his mouth on her.

It's a good time. He's missed this. Celibacy does not suit him, voluntary or not; he has far too much to gain from escapades like this, because for all the things he's forgotten about his past, sex is one thing his body remembers too well.

There is also the other appeal; a man or woman closer to his age bolsters his ego when they fall apart in his hands, and an older woman, like Tsuru, fulfills a deeply fucked-up psychological need that probably originated from his last life. It's irresistible.

Rosinante, somehow, makes him feel both of those things without much more than a measly kiss on the cheek. He also makes him feel categorically insane, the way he can't help falling, how firmly he's dug up the remnants of Doflamingo's heart and locked it in a cage only he can open.

He's obsessed with Rosinante, and undeniably in love with him when he can love little else. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do about it. It's not like he's been in love before, not to his knowledge.

As his temporary escape for the night lies exhausted in his bed some hours later, Doflamingo acts selfishly and gives Rosinante a call.

☆

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

I'll never get over Tex asking Michael if he has a brain chip, then immediately saying that Outlaw can take it out, and everyone acts like its The Most Casual suggestion one could ever have

Like yeah man, come on, it'll be fine, don't worry about it, just slap down a towel, get some of Outlaw's Backyard Brain Surgery, don't make such a big deal out of it

We can do it in the living room, you can watch some TV, Bluster might come in and say hi, just lay back and relax!

Also I assume he knows the general area that the chip wold be in, but also you need to know exactly where, so does he have an X-Ray Machine, or he just whipping out a metal detector in the middle of all this, homing in on it like "Hmm it's beeping real loud, let's try here... ah, nope, that's a beer tab, well we'll keep lookin', it's in there somewhere"

And I know maybe this is something to be done with a Calculator, but referring to it specifically as Brain Surgery and Michael saying he doesn't want Ty poking around his brain implies that its just regular (well "regular") surgery and so like...where did Outlaw get the equipment for this??

Where in the world is he getting this stuff, did he steal a copy of the Compound's equipment on the way out, is he going up to random hospitals like "Hey don't mind me just gonna duplicate your MRI Machine" or is he cobbling shit together in the basement??

Like you walk in and this man's defibrillator is made outta someones old toaster got some kinda machine in the corner partially made out of an old doodlebug hood, the computer screen's from 1995, but then again that's high tech compared to some hospitals so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I imagine this is a Base only kinda thing, but what if Tex's just down at the bar offering people free surgery like it's on the same level as a ride home?

Can you imagine being in a bar with your buddies, you just went to the doctor, they said you need some kind of heart surgery, and you're there talking like 'Oh it needs to be done but god, its so expensive, my insurance only covers so much, the bills are just gonna kill me, etc, etc ...' Only for some other guy that you may or may not know to pop up, go "Oh, hey, I got someone that can help you out with that", call someone else over and be like "This is my guy-of-indeterminate-relationship, he's a scientist, he can probably hook you up with a lil open heart surgery, no problem :)"

Scientist guy asks you what the problem is, you explain it, and he's like "yeah, we can do something about that, gimme a couple weeks to get everything together, I'll give you a call when it's all ready"

And you're just like, yeah sure, why not, Weird Cowboy Scientist's gonna do my heart surgery, sure. Is he gonna buy the implant you need? Does he just have one lying around? Is he stealing it?? Who knows, you'll find out, it's fine, sure

2 weeks later, you do the finding out and apparently none of your guesses were right, turns out he's building all this shit himself, but hell, it's faster than a doctor's appointment and free to boot, so! Why not! Sure! Let's do it, definitely not gonna be getting any organs stolen, this is all completely normal!!

And then its actually fine.

Nothing bad happened, no infections, no internal organs missing (as far as you can tell), it was a basic surgery, everything went fine.

You go home. You decide you don't need to know. You decide you don't want to know.

You go to the bar with your buddies again, the guy is there, you buy him a beer, have a little chat, leave the conversation thinking "Wow, what a fucking dork", and on life goes.

And I mean, I guess it could work in their favor, like, folks around get to knowing about him, and he's out doing something odd or seemin' suspicious or something and someone asks about him, they can be like "Oh no, don't worry, don't mind him, that's just Outlaw, he's Tex's... bestie? boyfriend? sugar-baby-boytoy-situationship-type-deal??? ...British Friend, and yeah he's weird n' all, but it's cool, he's nice, he sometimes help's out with folk's health problems when they can't afford it, and Tex's band plays at the bar, which is cool, so ya know, we don't question the weird shit they got goin' on, like it works out, it's all good"

Like, there's just....

So much, so many things there, I could go on, as you can tell, I have many a thought but like, I just - it's - yeah

[magicalbuttertarts]

WWE Masterlist

Christmas 2024

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy though.

Warnings: nothing.

WC: 458

©️ magicalbuttertarts 2024: do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

"Still isn't fair that I didn't get you for secret Santa." Jey grumbled as he crossed his arms as he looked at the gift in his hand.

Surprising it was his brother, Jimmy, who was his secret Santa and got him some new shoes.

"I will get you something nice for your birthday, how does that sound?" I asked, placing my hand on his cheek to try and get this man to smile.

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "That doesn't help with the situation right now, Rhea." I just sighed and slapped his cheek.

"I'm gonna go and give her my gift."

I grabbed the box I had placed on my chair when I stood up.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled, now worried about the gift. Her and I don't know each other that well, as she started with the company only a few months ago.

But she seems friendly enough.

I could see her off in the corner, looking around for I guess who she got for secret Santa.

People stopped to talk to me, which I would stop and talk to them, but it was only smalltalk.

When I was finally in her eyes line, she smiled, making me smile.

"Rhea." I said her name right back.

"I got you for secret Santa." We both said to one another, us surprising the other one.

We sat down at a table.

"You go first." I informed her, as we switched gifts.

I watched as she excited ripped open the package, then she softly gasped as she looked at what I got her.

"Rhea, how did you know?" She gently picked up the blue leatherbound notebook. Her thumb rubbing over the engraved, silver initials of her name, in the bottom, right corner.

"I always see you writing, but I heard from a few people that you filled yours up, and just haven't got time to grab a new one, also, this one is refillable. Just have to order from the website."

"Thank you, Rhea. Now your turn." She excitedly said to me.

I opened the gift and almost choked on air when I saw what it was.

The Bose QuietComfort Ultra headphones.

"I know you jokingly said all you wanted was peace and quiet for Christmas one year, but Jey told me that your headphones broke, so I figures this would be the perfect gift."

I am too stunned to speak.

These are so expensive, but it was like she read my mind.

"My cousin works for Bose."

"Thank you." I beamed, not being able to keep the smile off my face, as I said, "Merry Christmas and happy holidays." To her.

"Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you as well, Rhea."

Damian Priest ♥︎ Willow Nightingale

Christmas 2024 taglist: @madhatterbri @missdesiree81

Tag list: @lghockey @nicoleveno14 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @hooks-martin @madhatterbri @wwenhlimagines @melissahausen @tahiri-veyla

[creepsterdreams]

Hey, I've been thinking of mc having 5 pet snakes. I want to know how ts LI's reaction to it. (not the small kind of snake)

I can say as someone who absolutely loves snakes this would be so funny to watch them react to this

TOUCHSTARVED LI’s HC's: MC having five pet snakes (5 burmese pythons)

Summary: After paying a visit to your new home, that you were finally able to get after living in the Wet Wick for some time, the LI’s are extremely caught off guard when they find five massive pythons resting there.

CW: snakes, mentions of violence and death, Leander being himself, Ocudeus mention, could be read as platonic or romantic

LEANDER

This fucking guy

Upon walking in he just stands there as if you suddenly grew another head

"Hey um...where did you get these?"

You tell them you found them in the market somewhere and the merchant was just giving them away because they couldn't afford to care for them. That's why you were so hooked on moving out of the wet wick so quickly

Hey at least he can stop telling himself it's because you wanted to get away from him-

He just nods and brings his attention back to the snakes

I have a feeling he's one of those guys that pretends he's not afraid of them but is lowkey terrified

You have to convince him that their completely chill and okay as long as you don't give them a chance to suffocate you

As in don't let them wrap around his neck

And for the love of the allmother do not let him convince himself he can tame them or get them to be his bestie, it will not go well

So for a while I just recommend watching whatever interaction he has with them

If you don't have names for them, he will give them names

But it'll be the most random yet cute ones ever

"Good morning, Pesto! ^_^"

"You ready for your lunch Missy?"

"Please get off of my coat Polly I need that-"

And so on

He can take care of them whenever he has the time, and you need to go somewhere

Just don't be surprised when you come back and they all have verryyyy expensive things that you aren't even sure where they came from

Somehow gets his hands on five personalized styled enclosures for all of them?? Where did he even get the money?

"Only the best for my little buddies!! ^_^" he says

You swear he's trying to make them like him more than you

Even though they are snakes and probably don't care that much

"Hey there, I wasn't expecting you to get home so early." You hear Leander say as you walk in through the door.

You hum and put your cloak on a nearby hook, still not turning around to look at the man. "Yeah that gig took less time than I thought, I'm just happy I was able to get the money and go." As you continued on, you eventually look towards Leander, but your words are cut off as you catch sight of what looks to be...him putting tiny hats on your snakes?

"Leander, what are you doing?"

After setting the thing down, he comes towards you, grabbing your hand so he can lead you towards them. "I just..wanted to see which one suited who the best."

Nodding as he says that your gaze drifts back toward the scaly creature, analyzing its new appearance. But once you notice the hat, you can't help but laugh. "Is that a tiny wizard hat?"

"Don't look at me like, it complements the silver in his skin."

AIS

Just walks in and kinda acts as if it's normal?

"Huh, didn't know you were one for pets sparrow."

Goes up to one of the snakes and just...pats it on the head?

Kinda wholesome honestly

"Your owner been treating you right? Blink if you need help."

Okay back to wishing on his downfall

The kind of guy that walks in and greets them as if they're your roommates or something

Has entire conversations with them while you aren't looking, and it's kind of cute to watch

"Yeah, and then the guy just walked away. I know if you're gonna pick a fight with me at least make it interesting."

He knows that they are not the poisonous kinds of snakes, but 100% lies and tells other people they are just to mess with them

He's an asshole we all know this

Ocudeus has a love-hate relationship with them

On one hand, he's impressed you're so comfortable living with five pythons

On the other hand, he doesn't like that they take up most of your time

He's possessive, okay?

Ais one day brings Princess over don't ask how he manage to get her through the city to play with your danger noodles

It goes well, for the most part

Princess and you are a little confused on how it's supposed to work but eventually she gets the hang of it :3

Kinda just....runs around them while they whip around trying to keep their eyes on her

For you and Ais it's like watching your kids have a play date

If he's ever doing anything important, he has at least one of them nearby so they can look over his shoulder so they can watch

You ask him why because there's a good chance of them, not caring

But he just smiles and says "Wouldn't want 'em to not feel included."

Fair point

The best soulless AND snake dad

After waking up from a much-needed nap, you walk towards the room where you kept the enclosers for your snakes, you know that Ais will be visiting, so you won't have to worry too much about them being neglected, as at some points it felt like they were more of his pets than yours.

But you didn't expect to see Ais sitting on the floor, all five of your precious pets surrounding them as they held their heads up in curiosity. Him using one of his fingers to slowly caress the tops of them.

"Having fun there?" You said while leaning against the doorframe.

He turns around, looking up at you with an almost smug gaze. "Thought they could use the company."

You send an equally playful smile and walk up next to him. "How long have you been here, by the way?"

"Long enough that I snatched some of your leftovers."

"...You ate my food?-"

KURAS

Fascinated

That's the best way to describe his reaction to everything

Although he's mostly curious about how you're managing to take care of five giant pythons, given their diets in all

Definitely asked if can study them a bit, even though he's idk how many centuries old and most likely knows a lot about animals

But they are your pets so I guess it feels different

Offers to watch them whenever you can't, so he can observe them a little more

Whenever you come back home you just see him quietly writing things down while glancing at the snakes every few seconds

Once he finally looks up and spots you, he smiles and asks how the journey was

Although he is a doctor, he will do his best to keep up with the health of the precious ones

For you, of course <3

But that also means if there's ever a problem he's the one you turn too

So imagine having a carry a 100-200 pound reptile all the way to the clinic

Not only that but if you had a coin for every odd stare you got you could probably but another snake

Once you do eventually reach Kuras, he does take your concern seriously but if ends up just being a minor issue, don’t judge him if he chuckles a bit

“MC, he isn’t sick, I’m afraid he was just trying to mess with you.”

Oopsie

At least once a week he would bring one of them with him to chill at the clinic, it’s very cute to watch

He’ll be taking care of a patient while the little thing is resting in the background on a branch he bought from somewhere

And as time goes on, it becomes less of my pets and more of our pets

Walking in, your greeted with the sight of what looked to be Kuras sitting on the couch, reading, but what really caught you off guard was one of your pythons leaning over his shoulder, as if they were following along with whatever he was looking at.

The sight alone was enough to warm your heart.

Kuras eventually notices you, looking up from his book and softly smiling. “I was wondering where you had been.”

You nod, taking a seat next to him and gently rubbing the top of your pets head. “I suppose you were entertaining them in my stead?”

He laughs. “They all were well behaved enough, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Humming in response, you lean over to peak at the book, wondering what was so interesting about it that it caught a snakes attention. But before you could even start reading, Kuras spoke up again.

“Although, you might want to worry about finding more enclosures. I caught two of them mating in the tree.”

VERE

You know those cartoon villains that always have some kind of animal companion by their side? Yeah that’s Vere

Upon walking in, Vere's attention is automatically drawn towards them

Walking over and crouching down so he can have a better look

"Oh my, dangerous little darlings, aren't you?"

The only one out of the group to call dangerous animals cute in any way

I, unfortunately, can relate but that's not what we're talking about here

You just stand there and watch as he gently scratches underneath the chins of the reptiles, cooing at them as he does

Honestly it could be one of the few times you see him genuinely smile

Yes, you keep staring because you want to make sure you never forget this moment, why wouldn't you?

Will absolutely take care of them whenever you can't

In fact, he's the first one to volunteer

Except this time when you come home, he's laying down on his back, all five of them surrounding him in what only could be described as an odd cuddle pile

How he got them into that position without risking himself being suffocated, no one will ever know

But that's pretty much what you expect now whenever he's over

Even whenever you're not there, he still finds a way into your house

He keeps getting in because he stole the key

"Oh I wasn't expecting you to get home so early. ^_^" He says as he's currently putting different scarfs on the python

Please try to talk him out of this but he WILL attempt to teach them to suffocate and only harm the ones he dislikes

Yes that includes Leander-

If you try to stop him he'll smirk and tell you to let him have his fun

All in all an okay snake dad

You watched as Vere held one of your snakes in his hands, its head resting on his palm as he leans in close, cooing as he always did.

"Such a beautiful one you are, the perfect mix of viciousness and elegance." He continues as he caresses the tops of their head.

At a certain point, you think he cares more about them than you. And honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if he did. This was Vere we're talking about.

Looking back up at you, his grin widens, as he gently sets them down and stands up from his seat.

"Oh, come now, don't tell me your getting jealous."

You huff and walk past him, picking up your pet to move them back into their enclosure. "You wouldn't know."

Vere lets out a halfhearted laugh, before sitting back down and watching you take care of the little ones he's grow oh so fond of.

MHIN

In all honesty, wouldn't react as much as you think they would

I mean, they would be surprised, but not enough to raise any bells

They would mostly be questioning if you are actually able to care for all of them properly, given that Burmese pythons can have a fairly big appetite

Although most of their knowledge is in anatomy, they're willing to learn more about reptiles if it means giving you advice about caring for them

Definitely not also because it will be an excuse to talk to you

They toss you a kind of food for them and say, "I saw this somewhere in one of those books, thought you could learn from it."

Meany

Not the type to jump at the chance to volunteer to care for them, or really want to for that matter

No hard feelings just with everything else going on in their life they don't really think they'll have time for it

But that doesn't mean they abandon the idea altogether

If your gone for a long period, then they stop by every once in a while, to check on them, and feed them if needed

One time you came back unexpectedly early and you watched them move around with one of the snakes as if they were mimicking each other

Once they realized you had come back, they pretend as if nothing just happened, but they know, and you know that you saw the whole thing

Will still deny it to this day though

On the occasion whenever they pass by, they would hang out near the enclosures, never asking you to take them out but I guess just, preferring to stay close by

They'll never admit they enjoy them as much as they enjoyed cats

Watching closely, you look as Mhin softly drags one of their hands down the scaly body of your yellow-white python. Even if they didn't know it themselves, you were beginning to think that they had a favorite.

Although they were silent, you could see the calmness in their expression, how their eyes were softened instead of glaring, how their lips shaped into an almost invisible smile. It was rare seeing Mhin happy, even if it was barely noticeable. But it was enough for you to be as silent as possible, not wanting to ruin the moment for them.

But unfortunately, you were dealing with a hunter, so the truth was they had sensed you long before you even walked in.

"Are you going to just keep standing there or what?" You look unsettling."

You jump, not realizing their eyes had been set on you despite not even facing the same direction.

"Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt."

Their content gaze quickly fell to their usual scowl. "Their your damn pet, you wouldn't be interrupting anything."

Guess they did have a nice side.

[homestuckreplay]

TURNTECH GODHEAD JUMPSCARE!

(page 308-312)

OH PSYCHE????

This asshole came outta fucking NOWHERE right when I was looking at a cool wizard painting on Rose's wall. Truly Dave Strider is just like his raps, always showing up where he's not wanted.

'standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes' would a cool dude think this? really? I mean, as a sword owner I WILL acknowledge that slashing things with a sword is pretty cool. I bet Dave has a Wii and attaches the remote to a sword. And it's interesting that we open on an action shot of Dave, as he literally forces his way into the story and then starts attacking, compared to John and Rose being more passive.

TT: I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks. (p.63)

TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether (p.204)

Both Dave and Rose's 'wrong' names as entered by the player come from pesterlogs where they're talking about the other, which is fun. John's been part of all Pesterchum chats so far, but I really hope we get to see Rose and Dave talk soon. They're both so obnoxious in different ways I really want to see how they'll bounce off one another.

Dave just looks so EXPRESSIONLESS with no visible eyes and the tiny straight line mouth. His SUNGLASSES show more emotion than he does. I guess this is the birthday gift John got for Dave that 'touched stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point.' A quick search says these are from the Starsky & Hutch movie, which I guess I'll watch soon.

As for Dave's room, there's a LOT going on. The rooms are getting progressively messier, from John to Rose to Dave, so I can't even imagine GG's. The main feature here is the turntables hooked up to various computers and gadgets in an expensive, convoluted audio mixing system. I guess this is the turntech. And the godhead is Dave with his belief that it's okay to have a dozen trailing electrical cables in his room because tripping and electrocution aren't a risk to him.

This music studio combined with the extensive record collection and the record on his shirt really gives Dave the vibe of 'guy who makes music his entire personality'. The envelopes for the Sburb beta discs are next to the turntables, but Dave recently told John he lost his copy and that 'its a stupid story and id rather not talk about it' so.... did Dave try to play the Sburb discs on the turntables or what?? And like, can we really expect smart decisions from someone who has TWO issues of GameBro on his desk?

Everything in Dave's room is held up by cinderblocks for some reason. I don't know if this is a real thing that people do or not. He's also into photography, which is a great hobby, but all his pictures are just of him which for sure loses him some Cool Points.

Dave also has a poster of the Midnight Crew, as featured in John's and our favorite website mspaintadventures.com, and his playing card suit bedsheets might be a reference to that too, so this webcomic is another shared interest of theirs. He's also kept the box from John's birthday gift, and next to the box half-inside the closet is a bottle Dave mentioned to John on page 26: 'i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here.' I really love all these nods to John and Dave's friendship scattered around the room.

[yyxandere]

And more images about Yakuza men, but in this time it's a liiiittle dark (be careful 😶‍🌫️):

You must be one of the lucky people, or vice versa, if you were able to attract the attention of the most faithful servant of the chairman of the Tojo Clan - Mine. Most likely, you both met either by chance on the street or while working as his secretary. If you both was meet accidentally at street, he most likely didn’t even pay attention, but later he involuntarily began to remember, involuntarily grumbling, why a civilian like you got him hooked. This went from trying to get you out of his head to now actively pursuing you. Due to his important work, Yoshitaka is not able to monitor you around the clock, so he quietly asks for help from his master with the appearance that you are “suspicious” in the city and voila! It has access to all points wherever you are, and it always felt someone's else looks even in your home. But if you were his secretary, things would get more interesting. Under the guise of “work,” he obsessively bores you with his meticulous attention to detail and always finds something to complain about, still not understanding why he thinks about strange sensations from your presence, mistakenly considering you for rejection. Over time, Mine becomes more and more tolerable to you, afraid that his assertiveness will make you force fired from job, and immediately begins to make pleasant remarks here and there, thereby confusing you. As soon as you lower your guard, you will be completely in his hands with no way to escape. It is impossible to call for help or fight with him, this will not help anything, and will only anger your captor. Of course, he will not knock out every living thing from your body, but he can give a pacifying slap in the face if you try to attack him or express disrespect for his master. If you are initially calm and do not express negativity towards him, Mine will be pleased, and will even allow you to be among civilization again, but under close supervision. If someone dares to encroach on you, then this fool will face the most painful days of his life and may even would force you to watch all this if you were too close to this stranger in his opinion. He is not too cruel, but not too kind yandere.

Tachibana, as a businessman, is an extremely gallant and delicate man. This person is ready to literally spoil you with anything: high-quality food, expensive jewelry, clothes or even weapons; his power has no limits. If you had experience in the field of management, then he could attach you to one position in his real estate agency, which would make you as close as possible to him if by that time you still do not know him better. This gives him a chance, as in the case of Mine, under the guise of "performance monitoring", to literally breathe down your neck while you nervously fill out the paperwork. Tetsu has the most tolerance and best understanding of your situation if you are very unhappy with it, but the longer the negativity lasts, the more bitter it becomes. At one point, he will be able to punish you with isolation so that you “calm down”, after which he will try to make amends by feeling guilty. There is a real chance that he will kidnap you safely, he has many enemies, and he does not want to risk your safety for him. Due to kidney problems, he cannot be with you as often as he would like, leaving you in the care of his guards, or you go to him for dialysis, if you don't mind being with him during this procedure, which can It will comfort him a little. Tachibana is the man who smiles sweetly at you, talks about his day, and discreetly adjusts his prosthetic, which he used last night against the villains who were planning to kidnap you to blackmail him. But you don’t need to know this, the main thing is that you are safe, his and only his.

Oda is not as nice to you like his master. Using his experience with human trafficking, he can put as much pressure on you to stay with him, which makes him a very skilled manipulator. From sweet words to direct threatenings, he threat you with the most frightening things, using anything to break your revolution to resistance. Oda is even ready to use his people, where they “kidnap” you, and he, as a real “savior,” helps you in this situation, hoping for the development of Stockholm syndrome in you. But even if this does not help and by some miracle you are still able to fight it, then it is useless. Wherever you go, he can easily call for help from the Tachibana, for whom it is not difficult to find someone, especially civil. After this, you will have a stick instead of a cookie, where you will be isolated from the outside world and limited in food. No matter how long it lasts, Oda is very patient when it comes to your obedience, he has no morals unless it concerns his master. Of course, he is not completely heartless and can behave normally, but once you express your dissatisfaction at least once again, you will start all over. He is a ruthless demon with a cute mask instead of a face, be careful.

Saejima, after a long imprisonment, has become very restrained in terms of showing too strong emotions, and you can help him with this. Once he warms up to you, he will be able to trust you enough to talk about himself and his main trauma. You'll have to hold Saejima while he clings to you, crying fitfully, burying his face in your shoulder, after every nightmare in which he had dreams of the people he killed that fateful day. This incident has affected him greatly and he is grateful that you always console him after every breakdown by gently stroking his head in soothing movements. Saejima may seem very rude at times, but don't jump to conclusions! He is a very straightforward person and the combination of his Kansai accent can be a little confusing, but you will get used to it over time. You will also have to introduce Sejima to modern technology, patiently explaining everything, understanding that during his stay in prison he was literally completely cut off from the outside world. He takes advantage of this, pretending to be even more ignorant for your attention and enjoying the feeling of your presence, leaning against him from behind for a painstaking explanation of how to use certain gadgets! He's too obsessed with you to let you go, and he's so apologetic about it, trying to flatter you with every desire. Well, you still don't want to leave him, do you…?

-ˋˏSINCERELY YOURS. . . ->

ANON.

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COOKING???!!!! YOU'RE ALWAYS MAKING A WHOLE-COURSE BUFFET!! AND WE GET FED EVERSINGLE TIME!!! I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY THAT I MADE SO MANY SCENARIOS, ARGGG

Mine is so fine please help me, esply in isshin 🤤🤤

Mine, an obsessor by nature, we might never know if fate was trying to be cruel to your life, but it seems like your luck finally ran out when you met him. If you're just a normal civilian who manages to capture his interest, at the beginning he will hate you better yet despise you. you're just a normal person who has no place in this world he works yet why did you manage to keep him awake? always occupying his mind, it was a nuisance he couldn't be thinking of you, a lowly person when he could be at his boss's side. Yet here he was hiring one of his men to put CCTV in your own apartment, but it wasn't enough for him he wanted to see wherever you go, a decision that felt like he NEEDED to make. So talking to the clan head Daigo, he wanted to track down wherever you went saying that "you were very suspicious" or "she might be working with the other yakuza, and we might get information about them through her." such excuses made Daigo reluctant, I mean, spying a "normal" woman's life is very much mess up and he hasn't even heard about you but Daigo trusted his right-hand man, how can he not? He has done many things that improve the clan. So in the end Daigo agrees to track and keep an eye on you by Mine, and so with that, you were being watched over Mine, everywhere, he now has all the cameras in all of Kaumuroscho even in the most darkes alley, and he has it. Maybe he was trying to find out something suspicious or maybe just to feed this growling dog inside of him, asking, and yearning to see more of you. Yet this begins a story of a man falling in love, a man who wants to control you.

Mine would show himself but he would be planning your downfall, making you lose your job, turning your friends against you, and making you unable to pay for rent, causing you to be kicked out, you have nowhere to go until Mine saw you on the street and gave you a very manipulative smile, taking you away and asking you to be his secretary and this could have been an angel send but little did you know that you were just about to walk to the devils palm (if you know the devils palm reference ily and we should kiss)

As his secretary, you are more tense than ever. Mine giving you many strict rules and many more, make sure that you keep a list of his next meeting and all, even though he told you he was in the yakuza which is a MAJOR red flag, you agreed cuz hey, beggars vant be choosers so you decided that if you have food in the table a roof in your head and security from all the dark business that he's doing then you would be good, Mine did tell you that hell makes sure that you won't be involved in any kind of yakuza business where you need to spill blood, no only some shady ones.

Mine as your boss, is very much restricted, he would be so close to you that he's practically breathing your scent, to see "your progress" and he would make sure that you have more work than assigned no matter how much you want to pull your hairs out you can't really complain to your boss, the same boss that is giving you money to live a stable life. Mine would give you mixed signs, just a moment he was charming and was buttering you up now he's staring at you with some sort of cold expression in his eyes, he doesn't show any emotion, only that look in his eyes gives you shivers.

Now if he were to kidnap you, he knows that you would throw a "childish" tantrum so, of course, he has tricks up his sleeve after many months of planning to kidnap you, one of them is using your family or friends as blackmail material, he wouldn't kill them (for now) but he will use them as his pawns to keep you from staying away from him, every failed attempt to escape or even bad manners like spitting on his face, he would give you a satisfying slap and as for your escape he would make your close one's life like hell, they will lose their job and their house by some unknown organization. Don't you even dare disrespect Daigo in any kind of way, he will drag you from your hair and hold your face and bind your wrist together as he gives you one of the most furious looks ever, your wrist too would be bruised, he would tie you up in his basement and leave you there for many days, until you apologize from disrespecting Daigo he would then let you go and soothe your wounds.

If you actually behave yourself then be prepared to be spoiled by Mine, he will give you many luxurious clothes, fancy restaurants, or even raise one of your siblings to have a higher position in the company they are working at, see, not a bad deal right? Just behave and deal with the bruises that he gives you while kissing you so harshly.

TACHIBANA AAAAA EXPLODES

Our beloved Tachibana, his sophisticated yet intelligent demeanor had lured you in like a siren's voice, a siren that will lure you by her voice and her beauty is the only thing shinning beside the mast of gold she has beside her (yandere siren tachibana au?). Tachibana like Mine will plan your downfall and come to your life like a savior, and we all know what happens next, you have nothing else but despair and disappointment in your heart. The one who will bring you into the light is none other than Tachibana our beloved Tachibana who will take care of you. He will make you work close to him, you won't even have to know any kind of experience in the area, he just wants you to be near him, but if you really want to learn how to manage the business then he would be happy to teach you, while you sit on your chair he is behind, so close that you can practically smell what kind of colne his wearing and his shampoo smells like your favorite brand too. He would place his non-prosthetic hand on top of yours so he can feel your skin and body heat while he tells you basic instructions, yet how can you focus when you are out here being a blushing mess, Tachibana knows that and makes himself closer to you. Your heart beats faster and faster, and your breath gets heavier as you try to concentrate on his words. It's not just the fact that he is hot, it's his charisma, his smile, his eyes, his body, and his personality, he is someone you can't seem to get enough, he is alluring. You know how he makes you blush and you can't stop it. His presence, his warmth, the way he smiles gently at you, the way you melt every time he whispers sweet words to you, the way he holds you so carefully and tenderly in his arms, the way he caresses your skin whenever he touches it.

Offending is pretty much impossible since his lapdog I mean- Oda is already near him, (pretty much giving you a stink eye). If Tachiaban manages to kidnap you, he will spoil you but if you keep on screaming and crying he will gently hush you like how a mother comforts her baby, bite him, kick him, even spit on his face he won't get angry, no, him showing you that his calm shows you how much he is in control, like you said anon, he would leave you at his basement so you can calm down. But unlike Mine, Tachibana would slowly creep into your family or friend's life, so if you even manage to escape (how tf is that possible, he has cameras everywhere) you would seem like the ungrateful one. How can a nice and soft-spoken man, ever do such things, they're gonna look at you like you're insane!!

Actually, while we are on the topic of family, Tachibana would actually want a child himself, yes, he knows that he needs an heir but he deeply wants a child of his own. Most of all Tachiaban wants to live a good life even if it is a short one, he wants you to talk about your day as you carry his child while he fixes his prosthetic arm after giving the person who was planning to kidnap you a good punch.

I DESPISE this bastard Oda, after what he has done to my beloved queen Makoto.

The glorious asshole himself Oda, as you said aint a savior unlike his boss, he is willing to hurt you so you can learn how to love him. It doesn't matter if it's physical or psychological he will hurt you no matter what. He has no problem pulling some strings to get you kidnaped by his old pals and letting them play with you for a bit, and then he will come and save you like some kind of superhero, he would make sure after what happened to you, you will cling unto him like a leech and never let him go and he sucks ever affection and attention you give him, he speaks like feathers are roaming around you yet, in reality, are insects ready to eat you whole. Escaping him would be impossible, being the right hand of the most powerful estate agent in Kamurocho, leaving him won't be easy. He will use your family as blackmail but, if you push his buttons hard he will not hesitate to kill your family in front of you, their waling screams pierce your ears, a night to remember. He has no morals and would not even stop until you behave.

Even though you will have the luxury of living a good life with Oda, his kindness and gentle manner are only a facade to his demonic self, act out of line again then you wouldn't mind being thrown in his basement with no food or water as you makes you forcefully watch a video of your father getting tortured. He will leave you there for days and come back to you in your disheveled state, he will make you take a bath and feed you, he's going to break you and rebuild you as many times as he wants until you behave.

SAEJIMA MY FAVOURITE YAKUZA CHARACTER OMFG AON IM SQUEELING, I HAD TO REFRAIN FROM RANTING IN HIS PART IJOIDCDIOKVGS

Ah yes, Saejima the man with blood in his hands, his hands are rough and big, and calloused yet here he is the same man that has a hand that can grip a man's head with one arm while being wounded not knowing how to send a text to someone, and of coarse you never blame him he spend many years in the gutter and missed out of all human technologies, you are more then happy to explain the basics!! He listens attentively, absorbing the information and memorizing it all the best he can, he tries his best but most of the time he has a hard time concentrating when your body is touching him, he likes it when you in his side while you tap on the "cellphone" but please do be patient with him, he is learning! Even though he is acting aloof he can spend more time with you and listen to your voice. Also, Saejima asked about your favorite music which you happily agreed to give recommendations about, you happily listen to your music taste and make Saejima listen to any kind of genre you listen to, it's just an excuse for Saejima to be close to you and see your smile as you hum the lyrics, he has to stop himself from trying to hug you and kiss you afraid that he will make you uncomfortable.

Saejima is vulnerable to you, he trusts you that he is willing to cry on your shoulder as he clings to you when he has suddenly memories of what happened, many years in the gutter deprived him of any kind of affection hell, and even humans touch, so he CRAVES your touch, he wants your touch, your hugs, anything that will give him any kind of comfort. When he hugs you he can smell your scent, he loves the way your fingers feel between his hair (IF HE HAD HIS HAIR B4), how warm you feel, how soft and pliant you are, the way you make his heartbeat quicker than normal, the way you make him feel special and important. He can't explain the feelings he has in his heart whenever you do, but deep inside him there is a fear that it will change someday, he is scared that someday your view of him will change and you will realize that he is nothing more than a monster.

Saejima is also scared that you might see him as a rude individual plus his resting bitch face doesn't help either yet if you manage to see through him and see that he's just being honest and straightforwards and he's also, in fact, a soft man at heart, he is really just a traumatized guy who needs all the support he needs, you would just leave him in the dust wouldn't you?

[gelastocoridae]

This season on wildlife rehab (so far):

I finally got rabies vaccinated this Feb! Here I come, vector species *rubbing my hands together*

Very first babies of the season were three horned larks who threw me, the "bird-whisperer" as one coworker insists, completely for a loop. The last time we had a single horned lark was two years ago

Also one absolutely teeny house finch. Pink and fuzzy, profoundly little (he's fully feathered now and learning to self feed and we're all so proud of our baby!!!)

...followed by a dozen more older finches

Two other species we haven't had in at least the three years I've worked there - Lincoln's sparrow and White-crowned sparrow 🤨

(I mean we've had brewers and chipping sparrows and even a lark sparrow but ??)

A baby northern flicker, so young he looked just a little bit,, obscene lol (he had a horrible first day recovering from his injuries but now his feathers are growing in and he's perching on bark and we're also so proud 🥺)

Bunnies, bunnies, and more bunnies!! Good Lord they are such little dollops of velvet with lil pipe-cleaner sized paws, and you're telling me I get to hold them??? 🥺💕💕

Was literally about to close the gate behind me leaving one night, still in the driveway,, and my car headlights catch the eyes of a still-alive raccoon that had JUST been hit by a car moments earlier,,,

so I hit reverse, get out of the car, and heckin sprint back inside to fetch the only two people left in the building at 10pm - the actual Raccoons Staff - to help catch it

Finally typical baby birds that are not finches! But ofc it's starlings that eat like crap

And robins! And doves! ...with broken legs or subq emphysema (thanks outdoor cats)

Don't worry, we fixed the broken legs!

Still working on the sqe tho, slowly but surely

And bunnies with de-gloved hind-ends

(thanks outdoor cats)

Oh, some of the finches are being weird, like they've aspirated but their lungs are perfectly fine?? HAVE A PELICAN

A PELICAN WITH A GIGANTIC, EXPENSIVE, TRIPLE TRI-HOOKED FISHING LURE

LITERALLY HOOKING HER WHOLE FOOT TO HER THROAT POUCH. TEARING HOLES IN HER FOOT AND HER VERY IMPORTANT THROAT POUCH

Also she almost snapped two staff members who tested her patience teehee (she got fixed up n released! Yay!!)

Back to regularly scheduled bunny

I learned how to bottle feed two baby raccoons and one of them just wanted to snuggle into my elbow for safety 🥺💕🥺

Back to regularly scheduled finches. I mean starlings. I mean birds.

I said something in off-handed retail-tuned humor to a staff member i don't know super well to cope with understaffing stress and found out I'm viewed as senior staff with valuable love and expertise who is respected enough that my comment raised serious concern 😭🥺

Baby crow. This year's protocol to avoid habituation when feeding corvids is a camo suit with a picture of a crow face taped to the hat. With eye holes cut out.

Hate this so much I decided to sculpt a hand puppet crow head to try (like they used for the California condors). This is currently laying half finished on my desk

Those problem finches be problem-ing. Throwing everything we have at them and still haven't figured out how to fix them. Cue group problem solving in the Bird ICU Slack channel

Somewhere in all that were some fox kits and a separate adult whose shedding winter coat completely saved him from a fence wire amputating his tail

All these bunnies need antibiotics (thanks outdoor cats)

The softest, sweetest adult goldfinch 🥺

The most ferocious adult house sparrow, victimizing all my coworkers (not me tho, I'm immune to bird beak)

Both courtesy of window strikes

Two - count em, TWO common poorwills in one week!

A red-winged blackbird? In my rehab center??? Since when does anyone find injured rwb's?

TIL a lot of flickers n such end up caught in expanding foam sealant. Like. Come on guys. If you're putting that stuff anywhere. Sit watch until it's dry.

Come on, it's not that hard. Avoid having to carve out the screaming animal you were trying to evict

Anyways my dad/other boss is a contractor so I shot him a text and helped our vet & intake staff learn how to save more such lives in the future! The Flicker in question was able to keep almost all of his flight feathers intact (yay, less regrowth time!), regain his legs n feet, and eagerly scarf down all the mealworms we can give him

Btw a good solvent for expanding foam? High content rubbing alcohol

Anyways

Baby beavers look fake

They're so gosh darn adorable but like. You're telling me that hand-puppet that just squeaked at me for cuddles is a living baby? Too good to be true, but it is 🥺

Got stopped by a stranger at the public library to be asked about the baby beaver. I will never know if it was purely because I was wearing a logo shirt or bc the person saw me as staff on our last social media post n recognized me in public 😵‍💫😎

[giantologist]

A Simple Matter of View

In which Finch saves both a giant and a village

Giant Trouble? Not Enough Gold For Expensive Monster Hunters? Professor J Finch. Fast & Free.

"I don't actually know who keeps making these posters." He lifted the hems of his trousers as he stepped through the muddy streets. The man who had contacted him wasn't fazed by the filth of his village, meandering his way past a loose pig. "Let alone hanging them. I'm meant to be an educator, and I spend all my time fixing people's inter-species relationships."

Ol' Ben paused to let Finch catch up, making sure he was turned to face him. "Y'know, you didn't have to come." The professor took a beat to appreciate how he didn't feel the need to patronise him while making sure he could fully understand him. Some people spoke so slowly at him, as if he had the intelligence of a pond skater. "I wrote only if y'weren't busy."

"No, no, I never miss an opportunity." He was glad when he stepped into the grass finally, trying to get the street filth off his shoes. "It slows research and lecturing, but I daresay it's worth it."

From the edge of the village, Finch could already tell what their problem was. A roofless farm house, a slightly sunken silo, footprints and gouges through crops, a suspiciously sheep shaped pancake near the road. "Thing didn't eat anyone. Only Belle died, but she was gettin' on in sheep years."

"Was this an act of passion?"

"Nah." Ol' Ben hooked his thumbs into his belt as they approached the woods. "No anger or nothin'. Just came out, did this, left."

Finch paused when the farmer indicated his unwillingness to follow into the forest. "Well, you've been very helpful, sir!" He gave him a hearty handshake, bidding him farewell. On his first step, he froze. Ol' Ben clearly heard it too, as he looked around with a previously hidden anxiety. "Alright." Finch backed away from the forest when he felt three shuddering steps in succession. "Good, I was not looking forward to traipsing through the woods."

The farmers fleeing their fields was quite a sad sight, but he understood. Anyone who wanted to stay around a giant who just caused this chaos was a fool. Himself included.

The boots that emerged from the treeline showed no hesitancy, and ploughed straight through a fence with an explosion of wood fragments. Ol' Ben wheeled backward with a yelp, leaving Finch stood watching with interest. The giant wasn't the largest he'd met, but still cut an imposing figure, towering and powerful and broad. His head wasn't visible over the bulk of his belly, but Finch stared up anyway as the giant slowly followed the fleeing farmers, the toe of his boot clipping a grain store. The structure crumbled like a waffle cone, wheat spilling over the ground.

The giant lifted his foot in surprise, stepping backward and immediately flattening a wheelbarrow full of watermelons, the juices spraying every which way. He grunted and looked beneath as if he'd trodden in something unsavoury, and Finch took the opportunity to walk closer. Eyes locked on him as he moved, and he realised that his pince-nez had caught the sun and betrayed his location. The giant narrowed his eyes, turning his mass to face the human, his neck bowing as he drew closer, his vision cloudy and unfocused.

"Ah!" Finch cried out with a smile. "I think I know what the issue is here." He waved his arm above his head as he approached. "Excuse me, sir! I've heard you're causing some problems for this village!"

The giant growled and bent at the waist, and immediately tried to grab at Finch, who yelled that he'd happily get into an offered hand. When the momentum didn't slow, he sidestepped with such surprising and precise agility that the giant's fingers instead wrapped around a tree. He didn't track him with his eyes, only realising he hadn't crushed his target against the bark when Finch raised his arms again, the sun sparkling off his bolo tie. "Stop moving! Skrelkan!"

Upon hearing the giantish tongue, the titanic man paused. "You're not a slayer." He grumbled with clear surprise.

"I'm not, no! But I must speak with you, if you don't mind! Could you sit down where you are?" His stomach tightened when there was a beat, but he clumsily sat down, squashing quite a bit of the crop behind him, leaning on his bent knee. "There. Now, might I ask why you've been destroying everything around here? I have noticed that you're squinting a lot…" He didn't mention the obvious scarring on his face, or his damaged irises.

"Mmh." The giant grumbled, resting an elbow on his knee and his chin in his palm. "I can't help it. I keep trying to look for work but…"

"But you can't see to get close without damaging property." Finch completed for him.

"Mm. Ever since I got burned helping put out a house, I've just been destructive. I try not to be, but it's hard. I've had so many slayers sent after me…"

The professor fumbled in his satchel, then pulled out a pocket mirror, rotating his wrist in the sunlight so he sparkled as he moved closer. "May I ask your name, sir?"

He easily followed him then, clearly appreciative. "Kark." Finch smiled and introduced himself in turn. "Have I… is anybody…"

"I think a sheep is the worst of the casualties." He stopped at Kark's boots, then lifted himself onto the toe of them. "What precisely can you see?"

Kark shrugged. "Vague shapes. Colours. That sparkle you're doing." He sighed heavily, his breath making the nearby windmill spin like a propellor. "Where am I now?"

"The outskirts of the intact farm. Well, mostly intact." Finch hummed, twirling his moustache. "What kind of work are you looking for?"

"Anything. But I can't even get close enough to apologise, let alone ask. I've tried just staying away, but I find it awfully lonesome."

"I promise." Kark replied, sincerity in his voice. "It is difficult, but I shall try my best."

"Let me help. I will need some time to organise a solution for you, but it is feasible." Professor Finch said, his mind already buzzing with plans.

Kark hummed in thought. "I don't know. It feels weird, I'm not sure why..."

"I understand completely. I, personally, use an ear trumpet quite frequently. But be it an aid to physical impairment, or a concoction to help with mental illness, receiving any sort of help is nothing to be ashamed of. It may feel odd, and I shan't force you to accept my assistance, but you should not feel in any way bad about needing something to improve your life."

There was a beat as Kark pondered his words, then he nodded firmly. "Okay. I trust you."

"Wonderful! In the meantime, could you ensure that you won't cause any more damage? Stay here on the outskirts, away from the village, and avoid stepping on any structures or crops."

"Thank you, Kark. Believe me when I say that this is the first step toward your new life." Finch smiled warmly.

Over the next few days, Finch worked tirelessly, reaching out to acquaintances from his days at university. He sent pigeons to Doctor M. Astra, a renowned ophthalmologist who had experience with non-human eye conditions, and to Professor L. Salt, an engineer who dabbled in enchantment. They were more than happy to attempt the journey, as they both owed Finch respective debts of gratitude for his support during their academic experiences.

As the experts arrived in the village, Finch explained the situation to them and introduced them to Kark. Naturally the pair were nervous, and Astra insisted on holding Finch's hand as she was lifted toward those slightly cloudy eyes to begin her examination.

It took almost a week of engineering and enchanting to create a pair of spectacles that would suit his needs. The glass was forged with sand from the nearby beach, with at least three steins of fae dust added, which cost a pretty penny but Finch had more than enough to spare. As they worked, the giantologist played the role of a guide, sat atop Kark's shoulder, chatting with him and instructing his movements.

"Nobody wanted me around after I got hurt. Even though I'd saved three children from the flames, my scarring and my blindness scared people, so I've been looking for a new home since. And every time I've been pursued by slayers."

"Not anymore." Finch grinned. "Your spectacles should be finished today!" Indeed, not two hours had elapsed from that conversation when the glasses were ready to wear. Kark was tentative when he tried them on, but when the village below him immediately came into sharp focus, tears began to well in his eyes, his gratitude insurmountable. His first action with his newly restored eyesight was to lift Finch tenderly to his face, and the human was only too happy to be smothered against his cheek in a warm, if slightly damp, embrace.

With his vision greatly improved, Kark felt more confident and capable. He started exploring ways he could contribute to the village without causing any harm. Professor Finch suggested he could help with heavy lifting tasks, like moving fallen trees or large rocks from trade routes, completing felling jobs in the night, or helping with bridge building, despite the workers fleeing at the sight of him.

Slowly, the villagers began to notice the changes in the behaviour of the giant. They saw him helping out from a distance, and the previously fearful glances turned into curious looks. Finch arranged a meeting with the village elders and Kark, where the giant sincerely apologised for the destruction he had unintentionally caused. Of course, he explained how he burnt himself, which did a lot to curry their favour. The village elders, impressed by Kark's sincerity and the efforts he had taken to change, agreed to give him a chance. Under Finch's guidance, they established a way Kark could become instrumental in the village's workings, a single meeting of giant and human becoming a testament to the transformative power of empathy, knowledge, and a willingness to give second chances.

At the end of the week Finch decided that his job was done. He strolled through the tidy streets, hearing children making plans to picnic in the 'giant side' of the woods, and farmers celebrating the easy harvest as they sold their crops in the square. He glanced at the poster tacked to a wall and exhaled with amusement, tugging it free and folding it neatly so it fit in his pocket.

Giant Trouble? Not Enough Gold For Expensive Monster Hunters? Professor J Finch. Fast & Free.

[zalrb]

The Summer I turned Pretty 1x02 Review -- Steven and Jere are boyfriends

idk steven watching jere make those eggs had a vibe. that would've been way more interesting even though steven is insufferable.

like that's flirting.

conrad go upstairs. ok there's just gonna be a few times when i call conrad connor. i can't keep backspacing.

that ass slap and that "ooh!" make them boyfriends.

they are ALL so unnatural. "this sounds expensive" "don't worry, laur, it's on me. it was my idea after all." like if they were friends, best friends, it shouldn't sound so stilted and formal like she's just getting to know someone.

Belly hasn't done anything for all of the cracks about how she needs etiquette, like I know she's "pretty" now but she can still have semblances of that, like in Love and Basketball, Monica is a baller and a tomboy who her sister dresses up for prom

but she forgets that she's in a dress so she sits the way she always does and has to quickly self-correct

I haven't seen anything like this.

Even their change room montage lacks chemistry, I wouldn't have thought that was possible, I thought they could at least fudge that but it doesn't have the spontaneity a sequence like that usually has, it's contained. The whole point of trying on different outfits in a show is to show bonding but they all still act like they don't know each other.

Gigi you've been in that pool long enough to know Jeremiah was there. Why wouldn't they just have her walk to the pool and have this conversation? DETAILS.

"Totally, yeah. I would, uh, love to take you surfing sometime." He's the charmer? I've seen charmers in action, even if they aren't interested they're charming, that's why charmers are dangerous. This is BAD.

"Take it in Steven, this is all ours." It's a pool with mostly children, Jere.

I hooked up with her, with him, with her, with him. A perfect pattern.

I just like to kiss and be cozy with people

mmhmm ok.

i would've 1000% preferred this over a love triangle and then belly can get mad that steven is stealing her thunder.

"Go get that bread." Never again. No AAVE on this show please.

"Oh my God, Belly, uh, I didn't even recognize you" she looks exactly the same, but you thought a guy's name was Cam Cameron, Jeremiah, so.

Even when he sneaks in to grab a sandwich, it's supposed to be he's such a charming kid I can't stay mad at him like he's basically supposed to be Aladdin

but he doesn't execute. Jeremiah is supposed to be like this guy I worked with at a hotel where like management ALWAYS put him as a greeter at the doors because he was charming and smiley and flirty and they would also make him do room service, which is just A LOT but anyway. Actor doesn't have the ease and the effortlessness to pull that off.

Why wouldn't Susannah cover up Belly's bruise? So this scene could happen, Zal.

"Dude, that's Belly's brother" was the most organic delivery out of that entire exchange.

Why would they start pouring the alcohol into their tea when Paige is right by their table making a speech.

Also doing it in a flask?

"A drive in movie" You can just say the drive in. Oh my god.

As a writer, Laurel's character annoys me so much.

"Daaaamn you look hot." She looks cute.

"Hey hey, stop flirting with my sister." Sound jealous there, Steven.

Sabrina. How on the nose.

So I have made up my mind that Jere and Steven are boyfriends.

Brooklyn hipsters don't sail?

Belly, why do you like Conrad?

This is supposed to be a hot and heavy kiss and it's not. They should've just stuck to the awkward cute kiss.

It's funny when shows now do things that are supposed to show how risque these characters are acting because it's all so clearly staged because she's straddling Steven on the beach but is very still and the framing is supposed to be OMG STRADDLING ON THE BEACH but it's clear that's what it's supposed to be instead of me feeling like these are just characters interacting, like it should really be something like this

LOL I'm not saying Conrad wasn't doing what Belly was saying he was doing, which he clearly was meant to be doing, but I'm also saying on the first night, Belly, you crashed a bonfire no one invited you to and then started antagonizing Conrad and Nicole and called him an asshole before storming off so going like WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING is a little rich. ALSO Conrad has been sullen and drinking since you got here but he hasn't actively impeded you from anything except for tonight when he showed up at the drive in and because we haven't seen your relationship before this I don't see any time where you wanted to do something and Conrad stopped you from doing it because he wanted you all to himself or he wanted you crushing on him so this confrontation just feels like projection, which would be fine if we spent more time with Belly and from her perspective Conrad keeps letting her down -- which I know is what the flashback scene was meant to be in season 2 where he brings her to the boardwalk so he can talk to a girl but that should actually be a flashback we see here. If anything, when Conrad has his Taylor Swift entrance that's when we could have "the first time my heart was ever broken", go to that flashback to establish her history with him and that dynamic and then do things throughout the episode to build upon that flashback.

"Why don't you go smoke some more pot" lmao the anti-drinking, anti-drug messaging is hilarious.

"Why don't you go look in the mirror some more?" Man, it's not like he said you're just a virgin who can't drive.

He could've been harsher if the whole point is that this is supposed to SO gut-wrenching.

"I wonder if this is how all crushes ended" I don't CARE about your crush Belly because the show has given me no reason to be invested in you two, it has given me no indication of why you would like him, what you two were like before this summer, what's so great and dreamy about him to you. The only REAL conversations you've had this summer is with Cam Cameron.

*SIGH*