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starkwlkr · 6 days ago

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girl, so confusing | f1

an: this is SADLY the last part :( don’t worry, i do plan on writing more fics for the f1 dilf!! here’s your long awaited reveal on the baby daddy lol made this one extra long for y’all <3 enjoy!!

part 1 part 2

faceclaim gisele bündchen

liked by ynstyle, goss1pformulas and others

f1gossiproom could mark webber be the father? recently former red bull and williams drivers, mark and y/n have been spending time together. the pair were spotted having dinner several times and a source confirmed that webber attended y/n’s daughter’s recital! they were once again spotted out in australia spending time in bondi beach with y/n’s daughter (not pictured to protect her privacy) they were soon joined by friends and webber’s family. a source, who wishes to remain anonymous, saw them and said y/n’s daughter, gemma, and mark were bonding as if they were dad and daughter 👀 he even calls her ‘gem’ and ‘gemmy’! what do you think? is mark webber the real father? we certainly think so!

formulaho3 how about just leave them alone?

roscoesno1fan mark looks like a total dilf in that pic so yes

oscarspastry what if the real father is the friends we made along the way?

webberxvettel i need to know the truth before i die

hamiltonsmerecedes not f1 twitter trying to cancel y/n for getting with their faves 😭

lnwhores i stand by my cancelled wife

myhonestbitchface and when y/n reveals that sebastian is the bd then what 🤨 i feel it in my gut 👀 that german bitch is the bd

blackwidowswife bitch you’re just hungry

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THE PADDOCK SESSIONS has posted a new YouTube video!

Italics = voiceover by y/n

“Hello!” Y/n’s daughter, Gemma, opened the door to Dan. She knew that he was going to film an interview with her mother about her racing career. She watched as Dan’s camera man waved to her. She assumed they had already started filming.

“Gemma hates and loves when I’m away. She stays with her grandparents when I have to leave or if her dad is not busy then they’ll be together. I think she loves it because her dad lets her have ice cream before bed. I’m more of a strict parent between me and him.”

Photos of little Gemma appear on screen. The young girl was picture with her mother on her first birthday, then with Mark and family members then Sebastian and Jenson.

Dan entered Y/n’s London home with Gemma by his side. He spotted Y/n making tea. “Got here just in time.” He laughed as he joined the former driver in the kitchen.

“I hope the flight here wasn’t too bad.” Y/n passed a mug over to Dan.

“Slept my way through it,” before Dan could take a sip from his tea, he noticed the mug that he was given. It had ‘best dad ever’ sloppily written in paint. “Cute.” He held the mug up and smiled.

“Yeah, Gemma made it for her dad last year for Father’s Day.” Y/n smiled proudly at her daughter’s creation.

That’s when Gemma joined the conversation. “But I couldn’t give it to him on actual Father’s Day! He was away racing and couldn’t be here so I had to give it to him later.” She explained.

After the pair finished their tea, they walked together to Y/n’s small garden. There she had a little seating area where the rest of the interview would take place.

“Lovely garden.” Dan commented.

“Thank you, although I won’t take all the credit. Sebastian comes to help, Gemma kind of bosses him around telling him where each flower looks best.” Y/n laughed, setting her mug on the glass table.

“Dad loves the flowers I picked out for the garden.” Gemma pointed out as she joined them outside. As Dan started the interview, Gemma kept playing outside with her toys.

More images of a young Y/n flashed on screen. She was driving for Williams at the time, they were her first ever team.

“Williams was my first home. They were nice to me, but they put so much pressure on me to perform, like every race had to be perfect. And when it wasn’t, you could feel the disappointment, like a weight hanging in the air. I’d go back to my hotel room at night, and it was just me and the silence.”

The video showed a clip of young Y/n in the Williams garage getting ready for her debut race. She noticed the camera then smiled and waved. The video then cuts to from a happy, full of life Y/n to a gloomy, quiet Y/n sitting alone in her garage.

“I didn’t have friends in the paddock back then. Everyone was focused on their own thing, and the people around me—the trainers, the engineers—they all kept their distance. One of my trainers actually told me, ‘I’m not here to be your friend; I’m here to work.’ And that’s when I realized I was completely on my own."

Y/n then looked over her shoulder and saw Gemma using a teddy bear that her father had bought the girl for her birthday last year in Germany. The former driver smiled at the memory of her little family spending a special day together.

Back to the interview, Y/n then talked to Dan about her divorce. It was a dark time for her. She had been young when she said ‘I Do’ to a man she thought was the love of her life. At the time of her marriage, her husband was six years older. She was nineteen at the time, about to turn twenty.

Several headlines from the day her marriage was announced appeared on screen.

“Barely an Adult, Already a Wife: Y/N Marries Six Years Her Senior”

“Y/N’s Whirlwind Marriage: Chasing Love, Not Podiums?”

“Teenage Racer’s Rush to the Altar: Desperate for Love or Just Immature?”

“Is Y/N Looking for Validation in All the Wrong Places?”

“‘She’ll Marry Anyone’: Critics Slam Y/N’s Hasty Decision at Just 19”

"They painted me as some kind of desperate girl who couldn’t handle being alone. The truth was, I was 19, scared, and in love—or at least I thought I was. But that didn’t matter to them. They just wanted to sell papers."

Dan then spoke. “What led to the divorce?”

Y/n sighed deeply. Only a few people knew the real reason. “It’s . . . a complicated thing to talk about. I mean, when you’re nineteen and in love, or what you think is love, you don’t always see the red flags. At the time, I thought I’d found someone who believed in me, who would support me no matter what. But as time went on, I realized that wasn’t the case."

A picture of Y/n getting ready by herself on her wedding day appears on screen. Her family were not present as her husband at the time wanted it to be only them. She smiled brightly at the camera as her photo was taken. The image fades then clips of Y/n racing in the early 2000s play.

“He wanted a family. Kids, a house, the whole thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but he wanted it then, right when my career was just beginning. He gave me an ultimatum—racing or him."

Dan lightly gasped at her words. “Oh . . .”

“I chose racing. How could I not? It was everything I’d worked for, everything I’d dreamed of. But he didn’t take it well. He made me feel like I was selfish, like I was throwing away a chance at a ‘real’ life."

Several more images of Y/n and her then husband flash on screen. There’s no photos of him attending races, mostly because he thought racing was dumb and didn’t like loud crowds.

“He didn’t trust me. Whenever I was away at races, he’d insist I call him every single day, sometimes multiple times. If I missed a call because I was in a meeting or debrief, he’d accuse me of . . . things. Things that weren’t true. I couldn’t even have a normal conversation with my trainer or my team principal without worrying about how he’d react."

"There were times I wanted to visit my family, to go home and just breathe. But he’d make me feel so guilty for even thinking about it, like I was abandoning him. So I stopped trying."

The screen cuts back to Y/N on the sofa. Her hands are clasped tightly now, her voice calm but with an undercurrent of emotion.

“And then the divorce was final and for a moment I was happy until he went to the media spreading all sorts of lies.” Y/n added.

Several more magazine headlines appear on screen.

“The Truth About Y/N: Ex-Husband Reveals Why Their Marriage Failed”

“‘She Wanted the World to Love Her, Not Me’: Y/N’s Ex Speaks Out”

“‘All She Cared About Was Fame’: Y/N’s Ex-Husband Speaks Out About Their Divorce”

Then the screen cuts to clips of Y/n’s ex husband being interviewed about their marriage.

“I sacrificed so much to support her career, but she couldn’t give me the one thing I wanted: a family. She was too busy chasing the cameras and the glory.”

“It was rough. Instead of being asked about racing, I was asked about my failed marriage.” Y/n recalled all the times during interviews when her ex-husband’s name was mentioned. “I just wanted to go home a cry, but I had a job to do. But of course the attention I was getting got me fired.”

“How were you told you were no longe driving for Williams?” Dan asked.

“Would you believe it if I said it was a ten second phone call from Claire Williams?” Y/n laughed. “Claire and I were never enemies. A few days after I got her call, she had dinner in my house and explained to me that she didn’t want to be the one to call me, but she was pressured to. Apparently the Williams team thought it was best for her to tell me in a phone call because they thought it would be ‘easier’ if the news came from her, since she’s a woman. They thought it would hurt less coming from her. Can you believe that?"

Dan noticed how Y/n laughed at the mention of the famous ten second phone call.

“It was definitely ridiculous of them. But they didn’t understand how humiliating it was either way. But Claire . . . I could tell she hated it. She ended the call so quickly because she didn’t want to do it. She didn’t want me to be dropped from the team."

A photo showed of Claire Williams talking to Y/n before a race. At the time, Y/n didn’t know it, but Claire was her only friend.

“I don’t blame her for how it happened. She was caught in the middle of a decision that wasn’t hers to make. And honestly, her coming to my house afterward to explain—that meant something. It didn’t fix anything, but it showed she cared." Y/n finished drinking her tea then resumed speaking. “That ten-second call changed everything for me. But at least I know it wasn’t Claire’s choice. It was just . . . Williams being Williams."

“After everything that happened with Williams, you had every reason to step away from the sport. But instead, you joined McLaren. Looking back now, would you say that was the decision that changed everything for the better?" Dan questioned. He watched as her face softened. She truly adored her time with mclaren.

Y/n nodded. “Joining McLaren felt like a fresh start, like a second chance to prove what I was capable of. At Williams, I was just surviving. But at McLaren, I got to thrive."

Clips of Y/n during her time with the mclaren team played. Her smile was genuine and she looked happier than ever.

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep racing. I didn’t know if I could trust another team. But McLaren . . . they believed in me in a way no one else had."

"It wasn’t just about the racing, though. McLaren gave me a second chance, not just at my career, but at myself. It reminded me why I fell in love with this sport in the first place."

“And then came those three idiots.” Y/n laughed when she remembered becoming friends with Mark, Jenson and Sebastian. Her cheeks tinting slightly, but her smile stays steady.

“But with that friendship came negative comments. I remember reading articles calling you horrible names just for having friendships with them.” Dan commented.

“Those negative comments still come my way even after many years,” Y/n added. “I stayed away from social media for that same reason until recently.”

“But with sharing your life on social media also came questions about your daughters life as well.”

Y/n knew it was something that was going to come up in the interview. Dan didn’t want to ask, but Y/n wanted to share. Gemma’s father and her had discussed it before and they both agreed to the interview.

“Yeah, the whole ‘who’s the father?’ thing has taken over every social media app i have. I can’t avoid it, especially when people constantly message me about it.” Y/n spoke. “Jenson thinks it’s hilarious.”

“Jenson?” Dan questioned.

“Yeah, he sent me a meme about it comparing us to Mamma Mia. I sent it to Sebastian and he sent it to Mark.”

The remainder of the interview, Y/n talked about her family she shared with the man who endlessly supported through everything. Every time she talked about him, she smiled brightly. It was clear that she loved him and their daughter more than anything.

As the video came to an end, Gemma was seen running towards someone who was out of frame. “Dad’s home!” Gemma jumped into his arms and hugged him.

“I thought you were flying in next week.” Y/n stood up to hug him.

“I come here to surprise you and Gem and this is how I’m treated?” He placed a kiss on Y/n’s temple, still holding onto Gemma. “Sorry, I definitely interrupted you two, haven’t I?”

“It’s alright, Jenson. We were just wrapping things up.”

INSTAGRAM

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f1gossip after finally revealing the identity of her daughter’s father, y/n and her daughter gemma were seen together in a beach in california 👀 jenson button also lives in california so we’re thinking the button family is spending some time together.

vettelsbees GIRL SEB WAS SPOTTED AT LAX

hamiltonsmercedes AND MARK

nicorosbergisadiva WHAT IS GOING ONNNN

landonorris hey i know her

ferraridepressionclub ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HEREEE

webbertears what do you know you gremlin

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“Can I have money for ice cream?” Gemma ran up to her parents, Mark and Sebastian. The former drivers were all enjoying the sunshine of California, an idea that came from Gemma. She had been the one to call Mark and Sebastian to join her and her parents. They agreed even if they cancelled their plans with friends. They would literally do anything for the young girl.

Without hesitation, all the men took out their wallets and took out money for the girl. Their actions caused both Gemma and Y/n to laugh.

“Okay, thank you.” She gladly took the money from each of them.

“I’ll go with you, Gemmy,” Mark said as he got up from his spot and took Gemma’s hand in his. Together they walked to the ice cream stand.

“Has Claire called you?” Sebastian wondered. Ever since the interview was posted, the Williams team had posted several posts of Y/n when she was driving for them. They were finally acknowledging her wins and podiums. And of course they received some criticism from fans.

“She messaged me letting me know she watched the interview. She’s happy I did it.” Y/n replied.

“We all are. You should’ve done the interview years ago.” Jenson said.

Y/n only nodded and turned her attention to Mark and Gemma. The girl had always been close to both the German and Australian drivers, how couldn’t she when they had been in her mothers life and now they were in hers.

“Gemma asked if she could go to a race, but she wants you all to be there.” Y/n spoke up. Gemma desperately wanted the three men to join her. Y/n knew they would all say yes immediately.

“Did she say which one?” Sebastian asked.

“She said she wants to go to each of your home races.” Y/n grinned as Jenson immediately said he was in. Sebastian laughed then nodded. Of course they would join Gemma, the girl had them all wrapped around her finger.

“And will you be attending too?” Jenson winked at her. “We could do a repeat of what happened after Australia.”

“Funny, I was about to suggest the same thing but it happened in Canada.” Sebastian teased.

“Well weren’t you a busy woman.” Jenson smirked. “And Mark?”

Y/n kept quiet, innocently sipping her lemonade. After setting her drink down, the former drivers waited for her answer. “If you must know . . . We were in Vegas.”

Jenson groaned. “I was thinking Monaco.”

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby.”

#formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 #mark webber x reader #sebastian vettel x reader #jenson button x reader #f1 driver!reader #sv5 x reader #mw2 x reader #jb22 x reader

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yyokkki · 2 years ago

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Asking to Sketch Them

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle Rosehearts

Honestly a bit shocked you’d ask him

But he’s had practice from posing for family portraits, so he isn’t too nervous

Until you say you want the backdrop to be Heartslabyul’s garden

It doesn’t break any rules… but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t break any rules

He doesn’t collar people as often as he used to, but he still makes it a point to lecture rulebreakers on the importance of said rule

So imagine the strain on his face when Ace walks by with a vase full of roses and it’s Wednesday.

In the end Ace sits beside you while Riddle gives a long lecture, keeping the rest of his body perfectly still so it doesn’t interfere with your work

You are sweating in fear. 6/10 a good model but it’s hard to draw when your model is half yelling at the dude sitting right next to you

Trey Clover

Might hesitate to say yes because he’s a busy guy,,

I mean they have tea parties like everyday and he’s always in charge of sweets-

You say he can go about his business and that you’re going to capture him in his natural habitat then he agrees

Raises an eyebrow cuz you make it sound like you’re on national geographic but ok

Anyways you’re drawing him while he’s baking and damnnn those biceps pop when he’s whisking

Secretly, however, he’s been holding back for a while now/

When you’re least expecting it he comes closer to you… and bam whipped cream on the side of your face

Devolves into flour tossing and chaos

6/10 you got whipped cream on your sketchbook and it was half finished but it was a fun memory

Cater Diamond

“OMS YAY of course ;DD”

Internally screaming because his makeup isn’t that good today and why him I mean there are better looking people in nrc and maybe he can get his clone to do it instead-

Overthinker fr

He’s a bit stiff at first, trying to only show his good side and checking his camera constantly to see if his smile looks good

If you’re close and you start talking to him about something he’s passionate about while you’re sketching he’ll loosen up a bit and his pose becomes a lot more natural

Eventually forgets you’re even drawing him and now it’s just him showing his true colours

Takes a pic of your finished sketch along with the both of you and posts it on magicam #muse #artistbestie

8/10 the sketch turned out well and you had a nice chat

Deuce Spade

Has never been asked this question in his life

Boy is so stiff and awkward pls baby

He smiles like Oga from Beelzebub at first

Pls pls pls get this boy to do something else while you’re drawing him to get him to relax

Might be studying across the table from you while having a nice chat

Forgets you’re drawing him eventually pt.2

Tbh moves around a lot especially if a senior enters the room cuz he makes it a point to turn around and greet them while standing up

Is a bit surprised when you say you’re done because shit I forgot and I moved so much im sorry-

Also takes a picture of the sketch

Texts his mom the pic “I made a really good friend who’s great at drawing :D”

Will ask if you can draw a portrait of him and his mom together when you get the chance (will pay for it he just doesn’t know about the concept of commissions TT)

4/10 he’s so precious but not the best model tbh id still ask him again idc

Ace Trappola

Little shit (affectionate)

Not hard to make him agree but boy will he give you shit for it “my face is just that handsome ig” “you want me to get nude?” someone kiss him and make him shut up

At first he’s making a bunch of dumb faces and exaggerated poses and once he determines that you’re sufficiently annoyed he starts actually posing normally

Might get up halfway through and start stretching or laying down cuz he got tired though

Depending on how late he slept the night before and if you’re keeping quiet so he doesn’t get the chance to tease you, he might fall asleep

His sleeping face is cute so it works out for you ehe

When you’re done he acts all non chalant and smug about it but inside he’s sooo happy damn tsundere

Asks if he can draw you next and draws a potato with three dots on it <3

2/10 its only easy when he falls asleep but he’s cute so ill give him 1 extra point

-----

Graphic design is not my passion dear lord i really need to read a guide on how to format tumblr posts TT

Also first time writing omg depending on my mood next part will either be out tomorrow or next month see yall

#twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #deuce spade #ace trappola #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst heartslabyul #twst headcanons

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meredithmcclaren · 7 months ago

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From my trip to Vietnam in January of 2024

If I can be serious for a second. I don't wanna be one of those folks you make you feel like the rest of the world is perpetually on vacation without you and handing out needless FOMO.

All of my travel pics are usually taken on a single two week trip once a year. I just take a ton of them.

I am not living my BEST LIFE TM in fabulous locations. I'm usually parked in front of my work desk at home for hours on end and never leave the house.

I just parcel out these pictures so that I have something to post every now and again between project announcements and big illustrations. And also, these are nice places that I liked looking at.

I know it's a growing problem in social media spaces, where people feel a mounting pressure to live life more lavishly, because that's what they're seeing. That's being sold to them on a lot of fronts. And I know people (myself included) make bad choices to match a standard that doesn't actually exist. Put themselves in holes mentally and financially that they didn't need to be in. And that needs to be addressed more widely.

So yeah. Not trying to cultivate anxiety here. Please don't twist yourself into pieces trying to replicate something that is only half the story. This is a nice little part of my life, but it's far from my usual day to day. Which is much more boring. And usually spent in sweatpants.

Description: A photo of narrow street in Hanoi, Vietnam from a trip I had in January 2024. The street is a little crowded with parked cars, outdoor restaurant seating, and people milling around. Tree branches hang overhead with long lanterns hanging from them. An illustration of myself walks away from the camera, looking at the lanterns.

#hanoi #vietnam #travel #meredith mcclaren

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thylacines-toybox · 7 months ago

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Hello! My name is Arden :>

You seem pretty knowledgeable about plushies so I thought I'd ask you about some stuff I've been having trouble with.

My build-a-bear Vaporeon, Pearl, has gotten a little worn. Her legs can't quite hold her up anymore. Do you have advice on trying to add or move stuffing so she can stand again?

I've been wanting to make custom plushies (one of my favorite human character, an alien cat, and a worm-on-a-string type oc) but I can't run a sewing machine or make patterns. I also only have limited fabric patterns and textures and have no clue where to begin.

I wanted to start a side blog similar to this one, but I'm not sure how to photograph my plush, because all my photos come out with bad lighting and innacurate colors. How do you do your photos?

Thank you for any advice! I really appreciate it!

Hi! Well, let's see...

Moving stuffing inside your Vaporeon is definitely possible, even without any sewing! See here for a little guide on how I do that with just a long needle. However, if she does need topping up, a Build a Bear is easy to add stuffing to as the closing seam where they were stuffed originally is easy to find again. Find it and carefully snip the thread, then shove stuffing down into her legs and add a little more on top, and sew her closed again with a ladder stitch.

For learning plushie making, well, you don't always need a machine or pattern making skills to get started (and really, who has pattern making skills before they begin? That comes with experience and trying things!). Hand sewing takes time, but with patience it can do anything a machine can do.

There's definitely human and cat patterns out there to buy or for free that can be edited to suit you. And a worm would be simple to try yourself, you'd probably only need one shape x2! Even if your dream designs are a bit complex for now, just try making up a simple little guy from someone else's pattern, and you'll probably just get a new OC out of it... And if you're very, very new to sewing, make a tiny square pillow!

You might be wary of jumping right in with fancy fabrics, and that's fair. Try out something like fleece which is cheap, but fairly cuddly, stretchy, and very forgiving for beginners. Minky is pretty good value and also easy to work with too! Nice faux fur is expensive and hard work honestly, the longer it is the more annoying it is...

For photos, honestly I can relate to lighting struggles! My room's windows are a bit small and especially in the winter it can just be too gloomy. I will always try to take my pics during the day with as much natural light as possible, usually on a backdrop of fabric smoothly draped over my desk chair or side table, and I'll usually step back and zoom in slightly to get a nicer angle. Honestly, I just have a pretty decent phone camera... I'll usually tweak the colours and brighten up the shadows a bit before posting.

#thyl-ask-ine #not toys #plushie advice

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randomfoggytiger · 5 months ago

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React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (This), Part VI

Part I (My Struggle I), Part II (Founder's Mutation), and Part III (Weremonster), Part IV (Home Again), and Part V (Babylon).

I got a temporary student laptop so I can typity type type up these reacts! Hooray!

No more dillydallying-- let's get to the first episode of Season 11 (yes, I did skip the Struggles. You can't make me watch them.)

Let's gooooooooooooooooooo.~

‘Kaaaaaaay, I already see an improvement in quality. Nice set design. Nice set up.

Mulder and Scully asleep on the couch.

Oh, yeah. They’re already back together. (Canon’s gonna be reaaaaaally inconsistent about that, huh?)

Oh, I see that pic all the time on Tumblr. Thought it happened at the end of the episode, huh.

Oh, look, there’s A.I. Langly. …’Kay.

(Imagine if Mulder had slept through this and just… woke to some rando guys bonking him over the head for information.)

Okay, there was already an establishing shot of TLG’s pic, we don’t need to go back and focus on it. If you must, Director, I’d suggest that Mulder twists his head around so we can follow his line of sight as the camera's focus shifts from his him to the picture. Instead of, y’know, an unnecessary cut away.

Sooooo, if Langly’s dead-- "they know that he knows"-- why aren’t the other Lone Gunmen part of this problem?

And what a parting gift for his living buddy pals, huh.

Action scene’s okaaaa-- wait.

Al but the last bad gunmen guys shoot at Scully, get hit, and collapse; but the last one just keeps shooting at the table, assumes she’s incapacitated, and makes a break for the stairs where Mulder ran....

There’s no guarantee Scully’s down.

How did he know Mulder ran up the stairs?

If the answers to these questions are A. he just needed Scully down long enough to run past because B. he’s tracking the phone, not Mulder, then that’s logical and I’d give it a tentative thumbs up.

Welp, guy’s dead. Mulder nailed him from the top of the stairs.

I’m not mad at it.

I wonder if this scene was included to off-set their kinda geriatric pace and out-of-the-loop demeanor in S10. If so, that’s a smart way to include to establish credibility. A little (a lot) too late, but perhaps Mulder and Scully downed a few protein packs between this episode and My Struggle III (which I skipped.)

White-haired guy scampered out from the wreckage while Scully was yelling he’s behind the couch. Uh. She would have heard that. I assume. But… it’s plausible her ears were ringing and he scuttled while she was yelling, so. …We’ll see.

Also, from these few seconds, I’m getting more Scully, finally, and that’s… pretty great.

To be honest, though, she’s already so different from S10 that THAT canon doesn’t fit with S11 (which doesn’t fit with IWTB… which doesn’t fit with S9… which, etc.)

If I’m to take This with any degree of seriousness, it would have to be as the first episode, no exceptions, of the Revival: there is no S10, Mulder and Scully joined the FBI sometime post IWTB (perhaps while trying to work against Colonization, and remained), and both are chugging through a temporary separation patch.

Because there is no way this fits, with any degree of sense, into anything that came before. It could squeak by with IWTB; but how well would depend on Mulder and Scully’s characterization. If they are mercurial, then it would spring from IWTB; if they are consistent, then it would be a return to the 90s' form.

Regardless, canon has created five different Mulder and Scully variants:

Mainline Mulder and Scully, who either stopped their journey in Je Souhaite or carried it through to Existence’s happy ending.

Season 9 Mulder and Scully, who became uncharacteristically weepy and sappy; and are gifted with never-before-seen supernatural abilities (i.e. Mulder seeing ghosts) for plot contrivance reasons.

IWTB Mulder and Scully, who swung from a domestically-concerned couple to caustic, callous middle-schoolers.

Season 10 Mulder and Scully, who sacrificed their edge and intelligence for prolonged, dead-eyed, weightless declarations.

Season 11 Mulder and Scully, who somehow regained their 90s edge but combined it with a closeness that undercuts their narrative (i.e. their separation.)

So.

Yeah.

Okay, I’ll admit. …I’m intrigued.

Already loads better. Already feels more in-character (though to be fair Mulder and Scully haven’t really gotten “talking” yet.) Mulder’s house is more… Mulder. More stuff on the walls, more cozy, more shadows in the corners here and there. It’s nice.

Never let it be said I won’t give Chris Carter his flowers for his vision, because that’s one thing every person on and off set have agreed about him: the man approved of or tweaked every. single. detail. Wish his plots were handled with the same care, but.

(My temporary keyboard is now swapping the @ and the “ keys for some reason, huh. ...When I say technology hates me....)

Mulder trying to find a place to hide his cellphone was a good in-character moment, that’s good, that’s great.

Why is Mulder throwing pencils?

Why is Mulder bumping into discarded clocks.

Why… is Mulder teasing Scully about….

Y’know what.

It’s fine.

He was hiding the phone because the clean-up crew or FBI or police were being called… they’re gonna find it in an oven mitt, Mulder. They’re gonna find it in an oven, Mulder. No offense, but that’s where they found your mother, Mulder. Not the stealthiest hiding spot, truth be told.

WHY is Scully’s smoker voice back???? NO, GILLIAN, CAST IT OFF, YOU WERE ALREADY DOING SO HERE OR THERE IN S10, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Mulder doubts Langly’s dead. No one saw his body.

And to be fair, the comics were all like, “You haven’t seen their bodies, wink. They live like cryptkeepers in the Arlington cemetery, wink. They’re still alive, wink wink,” so I think Mulder’s doubts are fairly substantiated.

At least Scully’s not doubting that Langly’s message is tied to the--

Oh, wait, the baddies are back.

Guys.

Why aren’t you running.

Mulder and Scully, why aren’t you running?

Come back out of hiding once the clean-up crew have arrived.

DON’T--

They did wait around, WHY.

“Don’t answer the phone, maybe they’ll be able to pinpoint our exact location in the house” for what PURPOSE, they have you surrounded, anyway! They can flush you out in two minutes if they wanted! WHY ARE THEY CALLING UNLESS THEY'RE OFFERING A DEAL (or to shoot you through the window), HOW DO THEY HAVE YOUR HOUSE NUMBER BUT NOT YOUR CELL NUMBER (which is where Langly’s message came through), WHAT BROUGHT US TO THIS POINT??

“Identify yourself!” Mulder yells.

Russians: “Can’t hear you. Answer your phone.”

That got a snort out of me.

Scully… is questioning… is they should call Skinner… because they haven’t called him in a couple of weeks… and don’t know where he stands.

…

……

…………

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

I don’t even need to know the Struggles' plot to know this is garbage. When hasn’t Skinner been on their side, even if he played the game a bit coyly here and there. This is just… just… why this again???????

Wait.

Skinner just tells them to surrender.

Um.

Ummmm.

Uuuuuuuuuuuummmm.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting.

That line read didn’t sound fake or flat, at all.... But on the other hand. I’m… intrigued against my will.

I don’t see Mulder playing along for long, though.

The Russians are cracking me up. But the dialogue could use a few tweaks here or there.

Mulder’s grumpy at having to surrender.

The Russians are miffed about also being asked to surrender. (Unironically, they’re a react Discord channel: just sittin’ there talkin' smack at the protagonists.)

Oh, the duo are taken down.

That was quick.

This was going so well until Mulder made a George Orwell quip and the Russian noticed his poster (again with the poorly cut “LOOK AT THE POSTER” shot) and started working “I Want to Believe” into the interrogation, and….

“‘I Want to Believe’? Here’s what I believe: that Americans would have been fine losing the Cold War as long as they made a little money off of it.” What, lol. What a strange, strange line to say, here and now. Hopefully, this not-at-all clunky line will have plot relevance very soon and not at ALL be a cheap and easy tie-in to the plot, a rather ham-fisted way to get more information across. Absolutely not.

Yeah. My investment’s waning.

This guy’s not threatening: “Once we find his [Mulder's] phone….” Then he pantomimes the neck-slice motion. ‘...Kay.

Not Skinner’s brightest call to surrender to them.

Though I’m calling it now: Skinner misinterpreted who they were, or the guys are putting up a show because they’re on webcam (as they mentioned earlier.)

The cinematography’s better at picking which moments to go shaky on the audience. MUCH, much better.

They found the phone in under a minute because Langly’s an idiot chatterbox. How in-character.

I’m heartbroken. The Russian’s no longer fun-- he’s taken a turn for the badly-acted cheese. Rats.

Mulder and Scully just… knocked their guard over, together, while he was facing them with a gun. In a room full of men who have guns. And who have orders to shoot them. And are facing them.

Yeah.

This house needs to be lit up with gunfire right this second. As in, bambambam, agents down, permanently.

NO. No, no, no, no, THAT’S CHEATING. You can’t have Russians facing them then conveniently facing away (to look at the walls?? or the phone?? or around the room after the phone’s already been found??) so Mulder and Scully can run past their guard and out the door. NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO. They had a LOT of distance to cover from the kitchen to the front door, what are the choreographers and directors and everyone else thinking??????? THERE’S NO WAY.

Mulder and Scully literally jump over the porch, hit the ground hard, lie there a second; and the Russians burst out of the house a second later. WITH. GUNS. But the duo are gone, gone, gone.

Sure, Jan.

Excuse me? How did Mulder and Scully get from their wheat farm to a haunted Disney forest?????? Those aren’t even in the same biomes.

Oh, look, it’s Skinner.

So, wait.

Mulder and Scully are just standing there as Skinner SLOWLY walks up like a creature of the mist (illuminated by his sleek horse-powered metal carriage) while the Russians are within yelling distance behind them. Does NO ONE have a sense of urgency??

Skinner’s here against his better judgment and he’s putting his own neck on the line and blah blah blah, heard it before, save it, Skinny, we all knew you’d come, anyway.

Skinner’s AFRAID? Private contractor with Moscow. Classified security directive from the top branch, etc. etc. Gotta put Mulder and Scully back on the unwanted list.

“I thought they were just questioning you guys, why would they try to kill you?”

“You tell us.” Now is not the TIME, Scully.

Mulder and Scully aren’t going with Skinner?????? This is stupid. THIS IS….

Why are they framing this like neither trusts Skinner?????????????????????? Because by all accounts that wouldn’t make sense. At all. But it’s PLOT CONVENIENT, so YOLO.

Skinner being all vague about TLG being buried in Arlington and we all know this is coded language (or can guess), etc. etc.

The exposition, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

Guys. Why would you prefer to run around in the woods when SKINNER COULD DRIVE YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO GO, AWAY FROM THE RUSSIANS, THEN DROP YOU OFF AND DRIVE AWAY.

I don’t care about the Russians, go away. Mulder had an alien app killswitch that killed their hacking attempts. ‘Kay.

Duo in the cemetery, stomping around.

LANGLY HAS CHRIS CARTER’S BIRTHDAY, TOO. LANGLY AND MULDER SHARE MY BIRTHDAY. In the lament of one of the Testaments (it’s a Biblical reference just for you, Chris): GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME.

Here’s the “Who needs Google when you’ve got Scully?” line... cute. Clever. “Cute” and “clever” can also be interchanged with “convenient.”

Mulder and Scully Scooby-Dooing it up in the graveyard isn’t… bad. To be honest, it’s the most in-character moment shared between the two during the Revival: Scully on her A-game and giving Mulder a run for his money. Mulder’s still a little off, but hopefully we’re getting there.

Mulder finds Deep Throat’s grave, and we have a very not-unnatural-at-all conversation while Mulder rehashes that part of their history, including the stellar line, “I didn’t know his real name until right now” which immediately follows a recounting of him watching the funeral through binoculars from afar. …Yeah, we gathered you wouldn’t have seen his name.

Wait, scratch that.

Mulder would HAVE to know Deep Throat's name because… how else would he know the day Deep Throat was buried?

WAIT.

WAIT, WHAT.

He’d have to have learned the funeral information either from the newspaper or from a database or from TLG; and in combing through said channels of information, he’d have to have discovered Deep Throat’s name to attend his FUNERAL from afar.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, why can’t this series make sense for five seconds?????????????

Also, you two still have Russian mercenaries on your tail, no rush.

SPEED IT UP, MULDER.

(The exposition, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.)

“Everything we feared came to pass” no it didn’t. IT LITERALLY didn’t.

Wwwhat, creepy old man with long white hair, again? That creeped me out.

OH MY WORD, a QR code medallion.

Oh. My. Word.

They’re getting shot by a zombie? I guess? Guess this one’s not been around long enough to see the undead’s gentler side.

They just killed a guy, who wasn't a zombie nor white-haired guy? I guess? And ran off.

They’re on-the-run but publicly accessing wifi and aren’t even attempting to hideout. (I remember a post somewhere where Tumblr was sympathizing with Skinner losing his last couple bucks to two agents who wasted it on muffins and… yeah.)

I hated the “alien’s butt” line when I first heard of it, and I still hate it now.

There’s a, for lack of a better word, babyfication that the Revival does to Mulder and Scully’s language: “freaking” and “alien’s butt” and “adorbs” that, while possibly charming, make the dissonance between the moments where Mulder and Scully are not in-character more pronounced. In the OG, Mulder used contemporary slang as a tongue-in-cheek tease, working it in to purposefully amuse Scully or intentionally poke at someone else. Here…? That element of his personality is largely missing-- rather, it’s missing at times; which, again, contributes to the jarring, disconnected nature of the writing. It’s a “cost effective” way to replace intelligent, well-constructed banter with “lol” or “yolo” cheap tricks that date themselves incredibly fast.

I’m not a fan, as you can tell.

(“Fox Freaking Mulder” is my most loathed line in canon; so we shall see how that’s handled when I get to it. Oh, boy.)

Langly helped open an x-file on a building back in the 90s, ‘kay.

Scully’s “X-File? As in, the files in our building we can’t get into? Okay” wasn’t too bad, but the pan back to Mulder’s dopey face and the immediate cut after was… jarring, one could say.

Could we at least get a knowing twinkle and eyebrow wiggle from Mulder, a “you know where this is going, Scully” expression or… something? PLEASE?

So many missed opportunities….

Guess they’re sneaking in.

Oh, my, WHY IS SKINNER PULLING A GUN ON THEM.

WHY ARE THEY DOING A MEXICAN STAND-OFF IN THE PARKING GARAGE. WHAT IS ANY OF THIS.

ARE THEY IN A SIMULATION????? IS THIS ALL A WIZARD OF OZ DREAM??????

THEY ATE UP HIS LUNCH MONEY AND CAME BACK FOR MORE AND SKINNER’S HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THE LEECHES??????????????????????

In the grand scheme of things… you know what, this is bad, I’m not making silly excuses for it.

Skinner wants Mulder to put the gun down, Mulder can’t do that because Skinner seemingly works for the ones who want him and Scully killed, and where was this established???? Where. WHERE. YOU IDIOT.

Skinner’s pause and flat, “I don’t work for them”: same, Skinman, same.

Skinner’s just getting built-up trauma off his chest: his job’s hard, he’s underappreciated, no one understands what he’s going through, there’s so much to DO now; and Mulder and Scully need to know this and appreciate him, for once. (No wonder he wanted them back, he can’t complain to anyone else the same way. Old philes finding each other on new fandom sites and all that.)

Everyone just wants to kill each other “and that includes us.” And… that’s new information… how?

“We need your help, Walter.” When haven’t you. “Even if we don’t trust you.” WHAT IS. THAT. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

To be fair, she was acting as peacemaker between both men. Badly.

Skinner just putting the gun down and stepping forward and asking the question we’re all thinking: “What is this? How did we get here?”

Years and years of plot stupidity. That aside… I don’t know, they’re hungry and need more money, I guess.

None of this makes sense.

Scully calls Skinner from the house. He advises her to surrender.

She and Mulder don’t, and almost get killed, anyway.

Skinner shows up an undetermined amount of time later and just… chats with the duo while Russians are scouting the woods.

Mulder and Scully start to… distrust him despite him unlocking their handcuffs and offering to drive them where they need to go.

He hands them lunch money and makes a cryptic remark on how the world’s changed.

They eat up his lunch money and need to access the files.

Mulder and Scully jumpscare Skinner in the garage and now… no one trusts each other???????

There’s no connecting tissue for them to A. distrust Skinner in the first place; B. to really distrust Skinner, for real, guys; and C. for him to suddenly distrust them.

Mulder and Scully, spies: the episode. I’m losing them the longer the episode goes on.

Why's there odd music at odd times? It got tense for no reason then switched abruptly to Skinner’s sunshiney apartment.

Also, it’s canonically confirmed that Skinner squirreled away some files (if not all) to keep at his home. Weekend reading and all that, I suppose. Whatever floats his lonely boat. Also convenient.

Skinner has really modern taste in home decor…. (Now I need a fic where Scully was housesitting his place in the robot episode. That would be hilariously on-brand-- Mulder’s actions end up setting his boss’s house ablaze.)

When the x-files were reopened, neither agent was told their work was basically free to read. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Mulder asks Skinner. Obvious answer-- this plot point hadn’t been invented yet-- aside, I don’t think Skinner would have been allowed to… I don’t know, make them available TO ANYONE THAT WANTS TO READ THEM just because he uploaded them, hypothetically, to Archive.org. And if he's not allowed, he's probably not going to share that information.

Skinner’s got a secret wild life, and by secret wild life I mean spending his weekends uploading files to the Way Back Machine. And trying to keep his superiors from figuring out it’s him.

Langly’s been wiped from the X-Files. (So. Mulder uploaded files on his friends. …’Kay.) And left a note that “If I’ve been scrubbed, go to her” with an attached pic of a Dr. lady. In the same files that got scrubbed by nefarious people. Who would have seen this attached note, realistically. Stellar writing.

Langly would get involved with someone named Hambly.

“The Bureau’s not in good standing with the White House, these days," Skinner states.

“The FBI finally found out what it’s liked to be looked at as a little spooky.” FINALLY, a decent political quip from Mulder. YES. I’ll take it!

Doctor teacher hambly lady.

Why the scary music? It’s just Mulder and Scully there to interrogate her.

The lady warns them “you should go” then pauses a second before launching into a claim that SHE AND LANGLY COULD LIVE FOREVER, WITH SCIENCE???? ...I don’t think that word means what she thinks it means.

Oh, great, AI Langly is reaching out because his consciousness is trapped in a simulation lie. …Well, snap. From Jump the Shark to Become the Quark. Guess we’re all in Soma now and need to free the brain copy.

This was a quick and convenient dump of information, but I’ve seen worse. (Just because I’ve seen worse doesn’t make this automatically better.)

Langly had a longer lasting relationship canonically than Byers. Let that sink in.

I don’t mind this plot, honestly. I wish it were tighter, or more sensible, or…. Actually, cut the entire graveyard scene, it wasn’t necessary. Have Skinner drive Mulder and Scully back to his place, show them the files, chat about life then vs. now, and then move the plot here. It would give breathing time to better characterize Dr. Hambly’s hesitation or backstory, eliminate a few cracks in the plot, and ease up on the constant location hopping.

I’ve completely lost the essence of Mulder and Scully, though.

The camera cutting to odd angles or focusing on random places in the room is… off putting.

“Maybe he saw Mulder in his dreams”/”Who hasn’t?” is the second quip, possibly third, in the Revival that sounded exactly like something Mulder would say: enough self-deprecation and blatant tease mixed together.

AND IT WAS RUINED by Mulder and Scully smirking then fiddling around and clearing their throats while Dr. Hambly looks back and forth between them. YES, WE GET IT, THEY’RE TOGETHER BUT NOT AND ARE KINDA SHY ABOUT IT, UWU.

It’s the babyfication thingie again: just let the scene exist without unnecessarily hammering it home. I’m a big girl, I can read between the lines.

There are some suspenseful, creepy shots, to be honest.

Why’s the white-haired guy back. What in the world, how’s he always THERE.

Scientist lady’s dead. White-haired guy's dead (again?)

Scully quibbling about Mulder stealing evidence. Scully, you’re ON THE RUN.

Why do Mulder and Scully seem so… detached when witness to death, now? Before, they were professionally distanced around dead bodies and autopsies and crime scenes; but the murder of a victim before their eyes still moved them. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t, at all, in the Revival. That’s… odd; and an aspect of IWTB I also wish the writers had left behind.

“Adorbs”, ugh. I didn’t mind Scully roaring to life and almost shooting a guy when doing so, and Mulder mitigating then diffusing a possible situation. That was… fine.

But. I’m not getting Mulder here, either, sorry. He was THERE at the beginning of the episode, where’d he go? (Questions I ask the void.)

Ahhhhh, Mulder used a computer thingie called “freaking”, got it. That makes his reference earlier when referring to the muffin all right… actually, no, it makes it worse. Because he couldn’t have known he was going to use the “f” technique when he called the muffins “freaking” delicious or whatever. Which means this was just a way for the writer to appear clever by reusing an old word a new way... a.k.a. the writer gave away the magic trick by letting us peak behind the curtain (“We used ‘freaking’ earlier so we could full-circle to the ‘freaking’ technique, isn’t that smart???”).

I feel cheated.

Langly’s the only in-character character in this moment and it’s so. So. jarring. SO jarring. I’m happy for him and I’m mad for myself.

Oh, look, Mulder can do math math. As he should (a truth I’ve held onto since Lazarus.)

Oh, Langly wants this heaven destroyed. Uh, oh. That took a turn.

See, this is why you save the tense music for these moments, it gives an emotional gut punch real power.

He’s arguing this is heaven but only in service to the overlords. ...Welp, can’t argue with that logic.

This is actually a creepy scene. That’s good.

Oh, look, Mulder and Scully are given a stylistic black backdrop as Langly explains his world to them. That’s a cool touch, gotta say. Not very… The X-Files, but if changes must be made, this is how they should be done.

Oh, Gillian’s kids! What a neat cameo.

Anyway.

Essssssssspionage. Essssssspionage. Mulder’s got an essssspionage plan.

Scully pretends to drag Mulder in? As her captive? Um? And... signs in as herself despite both of them being on the run but not anymore but….?

Scully just winked at a whippersnapper and he just… led them to the tunnel. Um. UM. (Young Mulder’s fantasies come to life, I’ll bet.)

UMMMMM. Mulder made an disgusted motion after the young buck took her up on her implication--MULDER YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN HANDCUFFS, THAT SECURITY OFFICER FACING YOU MOST DEFINITELY SAW.

WHAT-- WHAT??????

Wait, I still don't have answers for what happened in the graveyard with the dead guy and--

Hannibal Lecter jokes. “This guy’s, like, Hannibal Lecter level--” WE GET IT, YOU WERE IN THE HANNIBAL SHOW. WE GOT THE BABYFICATION OF THE "LIKE", ARE YOU HAPPY????

And Mulder does a Hannibal impression. Yep, thanks, I’m taking this serious mission so seriously right now, guys.

Wait.

How come Mulder is immediately recognized in Babylon by other FBI agents but Mulder not here despite being heavily favored by an A.D. and being kind of infamous in the Bureau? (Don’t think, just hit play.)

The young buck “Hon”s Scully and she brushes him off with a “Sorry, bro” and CAN SOMEONE GET THIS BABYFICATION AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEE. And also… Scully, you were the one that started this domino effect of implication. You led “bro” on. Bro was just young and believing he was getting unbelievably lucky with a MILF. If he were spiteful, he’d force you to walk back or report you to the front desk. Your brush-off could have been a compromising move, Scully.

I don’t… mind? Mulder waving Scully towards the stairs with a little “mm hmm.” I’m a little more warm to Scully being averse to walking twenty-nine floors than I am the execution of Mulder’s quip, but… I can… kinda… see it? Sure? It’s not out of Mulder’s normal realm of behavior.

They still haven’t recaptured the opener’s “Mulder and Scully” feel, though.

WAIT, no.

I remember these stairs.

You’re telling ME that Scully jumps down a flight of stairs (perhaps two)... unharmed??? In her fifties???? Without anything to cushion her fall???? Without the stretch plausibility of a fancy parkour maneuver???????

Nooooooooooooooooope, no way.

Yeoooouch, that’s gotta hurt.

Mulder nods “no way” as if their lives weren’t in danger then follows her lead and gets up and immediately grabs one of the four guys above him and tosses him… down where Scully went. Down where he needs to go. I know he had no choice, but the probability of any of this being pulled off successfully is less than 50%, gotta be honest.

Ah, Mulder gets caught by the three guys. That’s realistic, I cosign.

Here comes Cheese McRussian.

“Haven’t you heard, FBI Mulder? You’re on our side now.” ENOUGH with the Trump Russia ties, can this DIE, please. I’m so over it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Reel it back. This is still… what year? Wait, is this 2018? Benefit of the doubt: 2017. Yeah, this topic was old by 2018, I’m pretty sure. Right? (Let’s see… one year after Trump’s election, everyone’s still in an uproar, Russia collusion theories flying, Rachel Maddow coverage, the investigation and reports….) Okay, I take it back a bit, the dates check out. …But this is why politics is very tricky to tackle in a show: in hindsight, that insinuation topples half of the episode's angle; and because of that line, this plot quickly becomes dated and a tad ignorant.

Why couldn’t we have just stuck with the jab Mulder made at Skinner’s? That was pretty good. But no, we’ve gotta hammer everything home. And in hammering things home, the art of subtly is lost. Siiiiiiiigh.

Approximately 34 minutes left.

Wait.

FBI building with Russians at the top?

Why were the Russians even going after Mulder’s phone? To stop Langly from contacting him, yes; but after? Trying to track Langly down to silence him? I guess? Why not just terminate him from the program atop their x-file tower? Pull the metaphorical plug? Surely his brain-- amidst how many others?-- isn’t worth the trouble.

Mr. Y? A new villain. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, please.

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thirty years ago.

Why’re we doubling down on "CSM is his father"? Who cares?

“You don’t understand,” says creepy lady, “what’s about to happen.”

Philosophy, yadda yadda yadda.

Scully beats up a roaming guard taller than her on heels, yadda yadda yadda.

“Life on this earth… is about to be crushed. Burned to the ground.” Sure.

Guys, Soma did this better. It’s so good, go watch a play through on YouTube. It’s an extraordinary game. (I recommend the Markiplier one: he’s a little over-acty at times-- hadn’t found his tone, yet-- but he got the heart of the story.)

Oh, wait, the evil villain lady’s still yapping. “It’s reason for being is to advance life, not end it.” I literally missed nothing by tuning out, wow.

Mr. Y wants Mulder to kill his "father." Mulder offers a deal (likely to stall for time so Scully can rescue him) in exchange for he and Scully to be uploaded to the mainframe… and I’m not against this idea. It would fit with S11 Mulder's… actually, no, it wouldn’t; because Mulder’s already lived in two false realities (Kill Switch and Amor Fati) and both were abysmal. (Langly quite literally serves as this episode's cautionary tale.) To possibly doom he and Scully rather than let their souls “mate eternal” or rest among the stars with Samantha? Not a wise move; not a Mulder move, either.

(Note from the future: That was the point, a ruse on his part. …Mkay, I accept that.)

The EXPOSITION, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

“We can take a piece of your mind [through a smartphone] every time you call.” How Alex Jones of you.

Am I… the only one who’s fed up with the Revival's reactionary techno panic? During the original run, tech wasn’t “the boogie man”, it was a tool used by “the boogie men” for their own ends. (Only twice did it become sentient; and even then, it was because the creators gave their machines human willpower and corruption.) Now, it’s become the Almighty they all must bow and cower before.

It’s weird.

"This is a tech age," one might say, "so of course the stories would be focused on out-of-control advancements."

"And it was an age of technological advancement then," I volley back while sinking my bat over and over into the strawman I’ve erected.

Diana Fowley Cheshire Cat Lady is starting to annoy me--

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Mulder says, “I want to believe--” WHY. Stop beating me over the head with his catchphrase, I KNOW IT’S HIS CATCHPHRASE. That used to be used sparingly-- now it’s once every episode, if not more. UUUUUUUUGH.

This tech is the closest Mulder will come to seeing God in this lifetime. I’m not… opposed to that idea.

Mulder taking out a guy in handcuffs. Oh, look, it’s the handcuff joke I see everywhere in gifs. Heh heh heh…. heh. Heh. Sure, Jan.

Mulder’s wrestling with a guy while Scully slowly turns off the machine. LITTLE BIT FASTER THERE, SCULLY.

And why is’t the room FILLED with guards trying to stop Scully, or using Mulder as leverage to stop her????? Aren’t there alert signals tied straight to the machine for monitoring purposes?????????? Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Mulder’s sweating, like that touch.

Um. The system turned red, but. Um. Can’t they just... reboot it?

If I'm putting the pieces together rightly: the only thing the bad guys lost were the brain scans. So. Don't think the machines were destroyed....

Mulder’s all beat up and loopy, nice. He’s got his phone back (~convenient~), nice.

Still not himself; but neither is Scully, so it’s a draw, I think.

The Russian guy doesn’t look beat up at all-- that's kinda lazy.

…Where’d the guards go? FBI’s just... here now??

Of course the villain lady and others are gone, OF COURSE THEY ARE. And so are the machines. OF COURSE.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Yeah, skip the cleanup, you almost vomited, Mulder. Just take a nap.

Back to the beginning on the couch (it’s like poetry, it RHYMES, don'tcha get it.)

Wait, Langly's calling again?? So, Langly wasn’t freed...???

Back to the beginning, take two?

Uh, there’s the white-haried guy.

Um. He scared Langly away, then consumed the screen, then laughed up close in it, then... the end?

That’s a bizarre ending.

So Langly might still be trapped.

Or the white-haired guy is psyching them out.

Um.

Ummmmmm.

…So, was he a simulation or a man that joined the simulation…?

What did any of that accomplish.

...Where's the exposition when you need it?

CONCLUSION

I don’t know, man.

(Oh, if you were wondering, my @s and s are back to their proper keys. With no explanation. Over 3/4s of the way through this post.)

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #react #first-time watch through #Part VI #Revival Reviler's first-time watch through #A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try #mine #Revival #S11 #This #x-files #xfiles #the x files #xf meta #Mulder #Scully

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lunchtimebedamned1997 · 6 months ago

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Glitz and Glam WIP (pt. 2)

(+ other Helluva sketches under the cut)

Hadn't picked this up since may, and I needed a break from my big Hazbin Summertime Painting so here we gooooo!

Original update from back in may lmao

It's fun to be working on something bigger from Helluva tbh, I haven't done a digital piece for HB since my Verosika Human Disguise Redesign - just some traditional sketchies of The Best Boys™

Sorry the pic of the Stolas drawings is kinda crappy lmao, I drew him in green pencil and it did NOT wanna show up on camera :(

I already shared these Blitz and Fizz pages in my Cosplay updates post from June I think? Yeah I did - but they're cute so have them again XD

ANYWAYS hope y'all are doing well. I've been having Big Emotions lately so I've just been making art to try and move though some of the feels. Mostly sketchbook art, which has been nice. Touched copics for the first time in years to doodle Astarion and I haven't really put them down since >:3

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moviesludge · 2 months ago

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current stuff:

finally had a decent sleep since the fuckin unpleasantness. nice not to feel completely out of it for a change. i'm still pissed off probably permanently but I'm keeping busy.

been doing the dishes every day. feels good to be helpful taking care of something nobody likes to do.

my sister bought a digital SLR pentax camera a bunch of years ago and never really used it (she didnt have a computer so I don't know if she knew what she was buying). she loaned it to me without ever really having used it and it has been that way for years now. I finally got it together to give back to her since she finally has a computer now and she told me she thinks its too complicated for her to use. I offered to help her with it but she wasn't interested. So I was like "well can I just have it then?" I wanted to either own it or return it and she decided to just let me keep it. Then I remembered that I have an old panasonic lumix from like 2014 that still works pretty well but doesn't ever get used, so we traded. She liked the smaller cam better. I showed her how to use it and found a cable and charged the battery for her.

So I used the pentax to take some pics of the garden today so I can post some updates of the flowers and stuff. a lot of stuff is going dormant for winter or whatever though. might have to find some wintry plants or something.

A while back, my dad built his own sprinkler for the yard with pvc pipe and fittings. It's 2 long pvcs connected by a small piece of hose and (I think) 4 sprinkler heads across the whole thing. Looks like:

|o---------o-|===|-o---------o|

| = the feet, o = sprinkler heads, = the hose, --- = pvc

So I watered today, but since the main grass is so time consuming and by far the hardest bit to keep alive, I set up my dad's weird sprinkler for the first time on the hose timer he has. I like how you can set the timer and have it shut the water off after 30 minutes or whatever. Will probably use it from now on. I didn't even want to try to bother with it before but it's pretty straightforward.

I regularly break yellowing and dead leaves off of my houseplant (dumb cane plant), and there was one extremely long stem on it that only had one small leaf. I broke it off near the base and then broke half of the long stem off then stuck it in some water. I'm going to see if I can propagate it and get it to root. If I can get a whole plant going from it, might give it as a gift or something. The snarl of stems in the center of the pot is pretty dense now. It's such an old plant.

Also walked on the treadmill again today. Been almost a week since the last one. Went well. HR right where I would want it in the 150-160 range. I do these for 30 minutes now.

My treadmill movie lately is SHAKMA. Never seen it before and had no idea it had to do with dungeon larping at a science lab. Interesting idea for a movie! It's ok so far.

Most of the time I crack the garage door while walking on the treadmill for airflow, and today a black & white cat snuck in under the door while I was walking. But it saw me and bolted back the way it came.

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shamelessrabbithole · 3 months ago

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The way cam cut some fans from the photo is sucks. no matter his artistic vision is, his fans spend energy and money to support him if he wants to take a photo of them then he should take all of them. whether he wasn't including all when he took the photo or he cropped, both sucks.

I read these comments, at first I think them make too much fuss about that , it's not a big deal, maybe Cam just didn't realize, plus some of them become a little aggressive, I don't like that,so I don't pay much attention, though I do think cam did wrong thing.

but then when I'm put myself in Cam's situation try to understand him, I find I can't. in any case ,I wouldn't do that to anyone who I truly appreciate. I'm really sorry for these fans who be cut from the photo. if that's me I would be so so so upset, no wonder why they want a reasonable explanation.

and expect the con, after all I still love Noel.

I see things a little differently. I spoke to someone that has a friend who attended the park gathering. My understanding is that Cam and Natalie arrived with a box of about twenty posters. There were also about twenty fans who showed up at first but that number grew the longer he was there. Either because some people came late or others wandered over out of curiosity given that Cam had formed a crowd around him.

Here’s what these people got:

1. The chance to meet Cameron for free without waiting in a line. At comic con, that would’ve been $100 just for entry to the event not to mention hours on their feet standing and waiting for their turn.

2. A selfie with him and/or Natalie. For selfies at cons, Cam typically charges $60. And at the NY con, the price just got raised to $70. While it’s true that he takes selfies with fans randomly for free, the chance of spotting him out and about when he travels is extremely low. In this case, he made his location known specifically for this reason which is something he never does.

3. A signed theater poster. His autograph costs $60-$70 at cons. This he gave out, again, for free—even though they were in limited supply, which he warned everyone about in his story.

So now we’re talking about most of those fans scoring around $240 worth of perks and swag from their idol entirely for free. If they’d already purchased theater tickets to support him, they did so without knowing there would be a park meet-and-greet at any point. Without knowing they’d have the chance to receive these bonuses.

I was also told that when he took the picture of everyone who’d gathered, he did it spontaneously and just to be nice. He was using a film camera, not a digital one, so his zoom-out capabilities were limited. Add to that the fact that he stood up on a bench in order to get the overhead shot. He had no room to back up on the bench because he would have fallen off of it, or lost his height advantage if he’d stood on the ground instead. This also would’ve caused some people to be cut out. Again, he didn’t have to take the picture at all. No one paid for it. He also didn’t have to post it or thank fans but he chose to.

Now, after all of this, the few fans who didn’t make it into the frame are completely dismissing all the nice gestures of that day because of what in my opinion is still an honest mistake. He’s being called a racist, he’s being asked to release the unedited picture, he’s being told he needs to apologize. This is written in comments all over his post about The Nursery, with one fan riling up the next and turning his great achievement at starring in his first off-Broadway show into a breeding ground for attacks on the way in which he failed three people. Instead of expressing gratitude for what they did get, which is still a once-in-a-lifetime experience, they’re choosing to shit on him, because why? The attention is making them feel better? They expect him to get into a time machine, go back, and fix his mistake?

And realistically, it’s a picture of a group huddled together in a park. He’s not in the pic nor is Natalie. Yes, there is the fact he took it and reposted it, but is that going to make anyone in that pic suddenly internet famous? No. All it’s going to do, if he bothers reading the comments, is want to never interact with fans like this again. And he won’t be wrong. He’ll say to himself, okay, people want the full Cameron Monaghan experience—great. Let them pay for it at cons. I don’t need this shit if this is the fallout whenever go above and beyond to be nicer to fans than I have to be.

#shameless tea #shamelessrabbithole #ask me stuff #ask me anything #the nursey

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cosmic-bat · 1 year ago

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I originally didn’t want to make a post about the London meet and greet because I don't want to come across like I'm bragging or anything but if anyone (@spooky-cowfish especially) really does want to read about it then here you go...

So we go into the main gig hall and the boys are all standing at the barrier, well Chris is straddling it and has trouble getting over which was quite funny. They count us a few times as everyone filters in which made it felt like a school trip😂.

After the initial hello they say they're gonna do individual photos and talking/questions so they all split off in different directions. Pi walks straight towards me and my new queue friend and we were not prepared 😂 we awkwardly say hi and take photos, he asked if I wanted anything signed and I had a small rainbow flag but I'd forgotten a pen so he said he'd come back to sign it. Can I just say his eyes are so piercing!!! Like woah!!!! He has great energy too.

Next I went to Gared and the awkwardness had gone so I managed to chat and joke with him more. He's super nice and quick witted, very funny. I managed to borrow a pen from someone and made a stupid joke about him being left handed and he went "No I'm just trying it out" 🤣😭 I'm sorry Gared. I told him to just sign anywhere but he said "No, I have to do it properly" he's so sweet!!

Then I went to Klaas and omfg, first thing I did was ask for a hug so we hugged and I squeezed his waist (it had to be done). He is so lovely, we chatted about fancy venues and he bragged about how he saw ghost years ago in a nice small venue, his favourite Ghost song is Mummy Dust btw! I can't lie, I was just staring at his long hair and cute glasses for a bit without realising🤣.

Then I got to Nik and he was the most prepared cuz he actually brought a pen lmao. Anyway he's super chill and easy to talk to, he asks you where you're from and how far you've travelled to get there. After he signed my flag I say danke cuz it just comes out naturally now and he looks me dead in the eye and says "You're welcome" LOL.

Before leaving him Pi was walking past so I called out and asked for him to use Nik's pen to sign my flag and ofc he was like "Oooo what pen am I using?😏" Nik handed him the sharpie and was like "This one, not the other one down boy. That's later" and I was standing there like 👁👄👁 wtf is happening right now.

And then Chris was left. He's just so lovely and sweet too omg! When he took my phone to take a selfie (I think we had all decided the boys to take the pics cuz they're good at it lol) he somehow changed the camera to video and omg it's my favourite thing, he says "It's filming!" when we realise it's a video and I've had it going around and around in my head for days🤣. I get a selfie with him and then he takes a pic of our shoes cuz apparently his new photo thing is shoes. My mouth works faster than my brain so I say "Wikifeet?" as a joke and he's like "No it's not a kink thing."

Anyway I ask him to sign the flag and am about to shout for anyone with a pen I can borrow again but Chris is like "I'll go steal Nik's." and he just runs off to get it🤣. I go to help him hold the flag tight so it's easier to sign like I did with the others but he's there holding it against his thigh figuring out which side is the right one😂.

Then it's the group photo in the final minutes, so everyone is walking towards the barrier, I am stupidly walking backwards and fucking walk into Nik omfg PSA: look where you're walking otherwise you may bump into a drummer! Klaas appears next to me out of nowhere then he kneels down on the floor (you can see this in the London group photo lmao), so I'm like 'oh god I'm gonna have to get down there too otherwise it'll look weird' so I awkwardly get on the floor and copy his pose cuz no way am I gonna be down there on both my knees😂 A few photos were taken with count downs done in multiple languages. Then Klaas stands back up so effortlessly and I'm there struggling cuz my platform boots are heavy. Once I'm up Klaas says "You made it!" like ha ha yeahhhh.... I should start working out😂

Finally we say bye then us lot get taken into a corridor that's on the other side of the venue instead of being let back out into the queue outside. So I'm there chatting away to my new friend and I pull out google maps to show her where abouts I live cuz we want to meet up again. But all of a sudden I feel a hand on my shoulder and a sweet "Excuse me" and I turn to find Pi behind us trying to get past LMFAO OOPS.

Honestly it was the best night of my life.

Although, I have to say one more thing. It was interesting to watch the standard queue being let in and everyone rushed to the middle and Pi's side, I was like 'well, more Klaas for me then hehe'.

#lord of the lost #lotl m&g

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figs-oliomedley · 2 years ago

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March of the Oni good

@ninja-guy-yo ‘s post about Crystalized got me thinking about how good of a sendoff March of the Oni was. It wrapped up all the main characters’ story arcs while giving them all something to do.

Lloyd Fresh off the heels of Hunted and SoG, Lloyd initially doesn’t trust a word his father says. But when they get 1-on-1 time on the Bounty and in the city, whenever Garmadon shows the smallest hint of humanity (saving Lloyd from an Oni, looking wistfully at a pic of his past self), Lloyd immediately clings onto it, looking for the good in him that Garmadon swears doesn’t exist. He only backpedals whenever Garmadon does, angstily claiming “fine, he doesn’t care either >:’I” in an attempt to mask and push down his own feelings as well (it doesn’t work lol he’s too sweet). I think the perfect summation of their relationship is the scene on the Bounty. Garmadon looks at a past picture of him and Lloyd, struggling to remember the memory and what it felt like before ultimately brushing his feelings aside and throwing the image, cracking it and claiming that feelings of the past are useless to cling onto or something like that. Lloyd spitefully (angstily) yells back in agreement and throws the photograph in the trash, only to return a few seconds later and pull it out again. Despite everything Garmadon’s done to him, done to the world, Lloyd still loves and wants to trust his father (Crystalized FUCKED my boy what the fuck).

Jay Jay gets a subplot of trying ask Nya to be his Yang. After the rollercoaster of buildup and all the shit they and their relationship have been through, he’s finally ready to pop the question... iff he wasn’t so bad at it. In true Jay fashion he fusses over the “perfect moment” and getting it “just right”, his own awkwardness and anxiousness often contributing to ruining the mood (though his horrible timing doesn’t help either). He finally asks her in the final episode, and it’s a very nice cherry on top of their relationship that’s been building since before Season 1. He finally found the confidence to ask Nya while being himself, wrapping a bow on this ongoing plot thread in a heart-wrenching way (look I’ve been a Jaya fan ever since I was a kid, that scene hit me hard).

Pixal Pixal gets the chance to be badass as she dives head-first into a cloud-covered Ninjago City to save Lloyd and Garmadon, risking her life while she burns through her suit’s fuel above the cloud. Without her being there, the ninja wouldn’t have been able to save the others at the NGTV news building while also getting the Garmadons out of there. The scene where she narrowly avoids the building is so cool because like, they could’ve just had her miss the building. It would have been easier to animate, as they wouldn’t have had to worry about the effects of the sparks, or the Garmadons reacting to the impact, or the camera shaking and sound effects, or anything, but they did that for us. They had Pixal nearly collide with the building for dramatic effect and put in the extra work to really have us feel the tension. Just a really great moment for Pixal, she’s come such a long way from Season 3.

Cole Cole’s role in this season is actually HUGE, WAY bigger than you’d initially think. After his fearful encounter with the Cloud and death fake out, you think, “oh that’s it, just a cheap trick to create an emotional reaction.” But NO! Cole’s supposed fall to the cloud is super important in the way the story splits after this. The loss of Cole creates a huge gap between Garmadon and the others, which leads to his introspection and question about the meaning of life. It leads to the moment between Kai and Nya, which is super emotional and sweet. Even when Cole is revealed to be unfrozen he gets to do something. By getting to his car outside the building, he forces himself to face his fear of the cloud, harkening back to his initial fear of dragons in the Pilots. He forces himself to confront his fear and risk asphyxiation for the sake of his friends who need him, and I dunno how to end this, I just think it’s really cool and neat. :>

Zane While not as big or impactful as the others, Zane gets a little moment when he tells off Garmadon for thinking he’d be the “logical one” as a Nindroid, instead getting the chance to display just how human he is. He isn’t just “the smart one” or “the robot”, he’s Zane, and he won’t just avoid greiving his friend just because he’s the most “”intelligent””. This defiant stand is a real culmination of Zane’s identity problems.

Nya Nya gets a sweet moment with Kai after she blames herself for Cole’s fall. It’s probably the first genuinely good sibling moment they’ve had since like, ever. Kai comforts Nya in his own Kai way, stumbling over his words but still managing to say the things she needed to hear. After the encouragement, Nya then gets the idea to recreate the golden weapons. There’s a really nice comedic moment when she’s explaining it to Kai, who doesn’t quite get it the first few times, but after he does, she turns the encouragement back on him when he doubts that his blacksmithing skills could recreate the weapons. It’s a really sweet moment where both siblings contribute emotionally to the conversation and perfectly leads into the recreation of the weapons while acknowledging and discussing Nya’s guilt. She also gets a cool moment with Pixal as they speed towards each other, claiming “I’m not gonna lose another one today!” Fuck yeah girlbosses fuck it up

Kai The main man who’s no longer the main man and keeps getting sidelined lol. Ignoring Kai’s visceral reaction to Cole falling (I don’t think I could take it right now that scene is really good), Kai returning to blacksmithing after 10 seasons is a really, REALLY good way of having things come full circle. It perfectly shows just how far he’s come as a character by having the patience and experience to recreate these important and powerful weapons. Some may find it bogus or whatever, but in the pilots, the advice Nya gives to him while blacksmithing is to “be patient”. While Kai still has the firecracker energy sometimes, he’s grown, and now knows how to stifle and control the fire when he needs to, slowly and meticulously working to recreate the golden weapons. It is just, such a good way to circle back to the beginning of his journey and the entire series as a whole guys you have no idea.

Garmadon Evil daddio himself. At first you think, haha, this’ll be fun, Garmadon being a comedic and morbid foil to the ninja with his cynical take on life. But then after Cole’s “death” there’s a shift. Lloyd’s snap at him causes Garmadon to contemplate the real “meaning” of life. Up to this point there were a few hints that he’s not all evil, and the Cole event is what pushes him over the brink. They beautifully follow up on Garmadon failing to kill Lloyd during Hunted, being held back by feelings deep within his being, by showing him awkwardly trying to understand the others and be more “human”. The scene where he tries to smile at Lloyd becomes so much more sad and impactful when you realize that he wasn’t giving him a “haha I’m totally gonna betray you and run away just you watch”, it was a “you can trust me” smile. The way his attention holds on the picture of his past self is really impactful, and that conversation with Vinny man, *mwah* perfection incarnate, perfect blend of comedy and emotion, with a laid-back attitude thanks to Vinny’s way of speaking mixed with solemn contemplation thanks to the mood, music, and the stoic way Garmadon reacts, pure brilliance. And if you still didn’t get it, Omega taunts Garmadon for being more human than he lets on, trying to grapple (and in some cases, suppress) that side of himself that yearns to understand mortals that he pushed down in order to be an effective conqueror, but has been slowly coming to light.

And finally, the Monastery, the place where it all began. Having the fog start at ground level was the perfect way to ensure that the final stand be at the Monastery, high up on the mountain. The weapons are back, Cole reunites with the others, and everyone gets in a bit of butt-kicking before they’re forced inside. They once again believe this may be the end, reminiscent of their conversation in Season 2 when contemplating if this battle would be their last. Jay proposes to Nya and she accepts, which, <33333, and Lloyd gets the idea to try the Tornado of Creation against beings of Destruction, even getting Garmadon to join in (really cool to have Lloyd come up with the idea, since from the beginning he’s usually the one to offer a different point of view [the idea to look for the Serpentine underground]). There’s a really sweet moment where, as Garmadon’s watching the others begin the tornado, wondering is he should, or can, join in, he looks to the murals and sees the green Lloyd get covered by the darkness, hardening his resolve and finally spurring him into action (looking too far into it, but it’s also the first time he’s used his father’s art after being revived I think). After Lloyd meets the FSM and is brought back to life, there’s a sweet moment where the others bring him inside while talking with him, real found family stuff, you love to see it. Finally, before Garmadon leaves, he and his brother share a look, as Garmadon leaves. You don’t know where he’s going, but you get the sense that he isn’t going to bother them again, instead leaving to find his place in the world. Though him and Lloyd don’t make up by the end of MotO, I don’t think they could’ve satisfyingly with all the damage Garm’s done. But just standing by his son’s side once again is enough to signify that at least a little, their relationship is healing. I could keep gushing about the final mural they make, the side characters we’ve gotten to know celebrating with them, the pan up to Firstborne, etc., but I think the scene speaks for itself. While a bit rocky in excution, March of the Oni was a perfect sendoff for Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu and the characters within it, giving each character an emotional and narrative contribution to the story while wrapping things up.

And then Season 11 opened with a fart joke :p

P. S. No hate to Season 11! I’m just joshing.