#trying a new style its very fun
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sparkyyybees · 4 months ago
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who wants candyyyyy!
Rbs appreciated <3
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secretly-a-trekkie · 29 days ago
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just a casual wip bc why not
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existwound · 11 days ago
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post canon keith whose lore only exists in depths of my brain my beloved
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mercuryferns · 3 months ago
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Twilight WIP for your troubles :]
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milkbreadtoast · 1 year ago
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random but i resolved to post abt it every time i find a webtoon that I enjoy... and lately I've been having fun reading this one...
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*rubs nose* heh... I do dabble in het from time to time... no but seriously it's a p straightforward lighthearted enemies to lovers romcom, not groundbreaking or anything yet im over here kicking my feet and giggling the main couple is SO cute to me... i luv them... I actually couldnt wait to find out what happens next so ive been slowly reading ahead in the kor whenever i have time and they're sooo cute😭😭 I also like the art style and costume design a lot!! it gives me like. a nostalgic 90s shoujo anime vibe tbh... w the puffy hair and babyfaces...
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arom-antix · 1 year ago
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I will never not be insane for wizards, magic, ice and badass Yuuri
@blended-ice Thank you, besiyr, for indulging me and being just as normal as me about this
Obligatory Viktor reaction:
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karvakera · 1 year ago
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jumpscares you with my ocs
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the first one was done today to keep my attention on the stream I was watching,,, I physically can not watch something if I dont draw at the same time.
the mermaid one was done a while ago but I wanted to share it since its dear to me (despite the godawful mistakes in anatomy and angles). I usually struggle with backrounds but I think it turned out fine there,, also something about its vibe is special to me,,, feels somewhat nostalgic
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zrllosyn-art · 1 year ago
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Malakhim for @plyushh
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elvenmoans · 1 year ago
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read a gay orc romance trilogy (the orc prince by Lionel Hart) and find it funny and sweet how the orc guy turns down sex the first time bc they don't know each other well enough yet (arranged marriage), then just before the series climax (hah) the orc guy nuts in the MC and then immediately starts crying just love when big scary guys subvert expectations and cry during sex bc they love their partner so much
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Some coloring practice w my ocs :)
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Though I must say, I always really just like the lineart the way it is, I guess they're perfect just the way they are
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waywardsalt · 3 months ago
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tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz
#its like. this is more on like. why is it bad that theres a zelda formula. why is it bad that all of the games follow this formula#that’s their identity??? like pokemon games and fire emblem games all have their own formulas so to say#and so thats their identity thats what you expect going in thats their niche their gameplay experience identity#and i just. really fucking hate how loz seems to be going the route of just. throwing shit at the wall and trying everything else#and nothing sticks so the more recent ones just feel like open world slop that dont excel at anything#so fuck this im going to play elden ring with a double jumping horse and great and challenging combat. i’ll play minecraft#yknow? and i dont understand why loz games feeling ‘similar’ is so fucking bad like???? every game series’ entries feel similar thats the#point yknow. if they suddenly made a fire emblem that was an fps for no reason other than to break convention and break away feom the#formula then what the fuck thats not even fire emblem any more. like. idk. i kinda just despise the newer stuff bc its so. middle of the#road whatever and has just about nothing i actually like and look for in the series. they dont have that niche identity any more#its a shift that just makes them like part of the open world white noise every aspect is honed down and done better in other games#its not like the formula causes every loz game to be really predictable or blend together fuck no#theyre still each very unique from each other even if they follow the same guidelines thats the fun???#like woah i wonder how the dungeons will differ what the new story and characters will be what new items#fucking hell boo hoo this game series’ games are similar to each other. almost as if they share the same central identity#absolutely just letting off steam and frustration here i hate when ppl treat the formula as a bad thing when it’s like. what makes them loz#like fuck its not like theyre exactly the same like i said theres a great deal of variety in what each one offers no need to just chuck it#all thats the kind of shit i come to loz for. i go to fire emblem for the specific leveling up strategy gameplay i go to pokemon for the#creature battling and specific world feel botw/totk just. do not carry with them the same signifiers of loz and they dont really have#identities beyond go do whatever the fuck which is not very compelling??? like can we at least commit to something here?#im yelling at shadows here im just. fuckin tired and feeling pessimistic abt this future of this game series whose core gameplay is one of#my all time favorites i really like the tightly designed linear-with-freedom dungeons and puzzles and world and all that#like the aesthetics changing is great and its fun to see different takes and tones on it but that core sense of things is like. The Point#of choosing to play loz yknow what i mean. like just bc its got ‘legend of zelda’ slapped on it doesnt gonna mean im gonna want to play a#vastly different experience if that makes sense. thats not the precedent thats not what you like. expect and associate with this#i feel like i sound like some entitled fuck abt this but like. is that tried and true style just going to be trashed in favor of this#honestly kinda bland everyman-ass style just bc it started to seem like it was getting stale. fuck this im gonna see what tunic’s about#likely delete later this was just a vent. ‘the zelda formula is a bad thing-‘ are you fucking serious rn#like hesitantly hopeful abt eow bc someone i know is excited for it so ill def play it but just. man
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derinwrites · 7 months ago
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The Three Commandments
The thing about writing is this: you gotta start in medias res, to hook your readers with action immediately. But readers aren’t invested in people they know nothing about, so start with a framing scene that instead describes the characters and the stakes. But those scenes are boring, so cut straight to the action, after opening with a clever quip, but open in the style of the story, and try not to be too clever in the opener, it looks tacky. One shouldn’t use too many dialogue tags, it’s distracting; but you can use ‘said’ a lot, because ‘said’ is invisible, but don’t use ‘said’ too much because it’s boring and uninformative – make sure to vary your dialogue tags to be as descriptive as possible, except don’t do that because it’s distracting, and instead rely mostly on ‘said’ and only use others when you need them. But don’t use ‘said’ too often; you should avoid dialogue tags as much as you possibly can and indicate speakers through describing their reactions. But don’t do that, it’s distracting.
Having a viewpoint character describe themselves is amateurish, so avoid that. But also be sure to describe your viewpoint character so that the reader can picture them. And include a lot of introspection, so we can see their mindset, but don’t include too much introspection, because it’s boring and takes away from the action and really bogs down the story, but also remember to include plenty of introspection so your character doesn’t feel like a robot. And adverbs are great action descriptors; you should have a lot of them, but don’t use a lot of adverbs; they’re amateurish and bog down the story. And
The reason new writers are bombarded with so much outright contradictory writing advice is that these tips are conditional. It depends on your style, your genre, your audience, your level of skill, and what problems in your writing you’re trying to fix. Which is why, when I’m writing, I tend to focus on what I call my Three Commandments of Writing. These are the overall rules; before accepting any writing advice, I check whether it reinforces one of these rules or not. If not, I ditch it.
1: Thou Shalt Have Something To Say
What’s your book about?
I don’t mean, describe to me the plot. I mean, why should anybody read this? What’s its thesis? What’s its reason for existence, from the reader’s perspective? People write stories for all kinds of reasons, but things like ‘I just wanted to get it out of my head’ are meaningless from a reader perspective. The greatest piece of writing advice I ever received was you putting words on a page does not obligate anybody to read them. So why are the words there? What point are you trying to make?
The purpose of your story can vary wildly. Usually, you’ll be exploring some kind of thesis, especially if you write genre fiction. Curse Words, for example, is an exploration of self-perpetuating power structures and how aiming for short-term stability and safety can cause long-term problems, as well as the responsibilities of an agitator when seeking to do the necessary work of dismantling those power structures. Most of the things in Curse Words eventually fold back into exploring this question. Alternately, you might just have a really cool idea for a society or alien species or something and want to show it off (note: it can be VERY VERY HARD to carry a story on a ‘cool original concept’ by itself. You think your sky society where they fly above the clouds and have no rainfall and have to harvest water from the clouds below is a cool enough idea to carry a story: You’re almost certainly wrong. These cool concept stories work best when they are either very short, or working in conjunction with exploring a theme). You might be writing a mystery series where each story is a standalone mystery and the point is to present a puzzle and solve a fun mystery each book. Maybe you’re just here to make the reader laugh, and will throw in anything you can find that’ll act as framing for better jokes. In some genres, readers know exactly what they want and have gotten it a hundred times before and want that story again but with different character names – maybe you’re writing one of those. (These stories are popular in romance, pulp fantasy, some action genres, and rather a lot of types of fanfiction).
Whatever the main point of your story is, you should know it by the time you finish the first draft, because you simply cannot write the second draft if you don’t know what the point of the story is. (If you write web serials and are publishing the first draft, you’ll need to figure it out a lot faster.)
Once you know what the point of your story is, you can assess all writing decisions through this lens – does this help or hurt the point of my story?
2: Thou Shalt Respect Thy Reader’s Investment
Readers invest a lot in a story. Sometimes it’s money, if they bought your book, but even if your story is free, they invest time, attention, and emotional investment. The vast majority of your job is making that investment worth it. There are two factors to this – lowering the investment, and increasing the payoff. If you can lower your audience’s suspension of disbelief through consistent characterisation, realistic (for your genre – this may deviate from real realism) worldbuilding, and appropriately foreshadowing and forewarning any unexpected rules of your world. You can lower the amount of effort or attention your audience need to put into getting into your story by writing in a clear manner, using an entertaining tone, and relying on cultural touchpoints they understand already instead of pushing them in the deep end into a completely unfamiliar situation. The lower their initial investment, the easier it is to make the payoff worth it.
Two important notes here: one, not all audiences view investment in the same way. Your average reader views time as a major investment, but readers of long fiction (epic fantasies, web serials, et cetera) often view length as part of the payoff. Brandon Sanderson fans don’t grab his latest book and think “Uuuugh, why does it have to be so looong!” Similarly, some people like being thrown in the deep end and having to put a lot of work into figuring out what the fuck is going on with no onboarding. This is one of science fiction’s main tactics for forcibly immersing you in a future world. So the valuation of what counts as too much investment varies drastically between readers.
Two, it’s not always the best idea to minimise the necessary investment at all costs. Generally, engagement with art asks something of us, and that’s part of the appeal. Minimum-effort books do have their appeal and their place, in the same way that idle games or repetitive sitcoms have their appeal and their place, but the memorable stories, the ones that have staying power and provide real value, are the ones that ask something of the reader. If they’re not investing anything, they have no incentive to engage, and you’re just filling in time. This commandment does not exist to tell you to try to ask nothing of your audience – you should be asking something of your audience. It exists to tell you to respect that investment. Know what you’re asking of your audience, and make sure that the ask is less than the payoff.
The other way to respect the investment is of course to focus on a great payoff. Make those characters socially fascinating, make that sacrifice emotionally rending, make the answer to that mystery intellectually fulfilling. If you can make the investment worth it, they’ll enjoy your story. And if you consistently make their investment worth it, you build trust, and they’ll be willing to invest more next time, which means you can ask more of them and give them an even better payoff. Audience trust is a very precious currency and this is how you build it – be worth their time.
But how do you know what your audience does and doesn’t consider an onerous investment? And how do you know what kinds of payoff they’ll find rewarding? Easy – they self-sort. Part of your job is telling your audience what to expect from you as soon as you can, so that if it’s not for them, they’ll leave, and if it is, they’ll invest and appreciate the return. (“Oh but I want as many people reading my story as possible!” No, you don’t. If you want that, you can write paint-by-numbers common denominator mass appeal fic. What you want is the audience who will enjoy your story; everyone else is a waste of time, and is in fact, detrimental to your success, because if they don’t like your story then they’re likely to be bad marketing. You want these people to bounce off and leave before you disappoint them. Don’t try to trick them into staying around.) Your audience should know, very early on, what kind of an experience they’re in for, what the tone will be, the genre and character(s) they’re going to follow, that sort of thing. The first couple of chapters of Time to Orbit: Unknown, for example, are a micro-example of the sorts of mysteries that Aspen will be dealing with for most of the book, as well as a sample of their character voice, the way they approach problems, and enough of their background, world and behaviour for the reader to decide if this sort of story is for them. We also start the story with some mildly graphic medical stuff, enough physics for the reader to determine the ‘hardness’ of the scifi, and about the level of physical risk that Aspen will be putting themselves at for most of the book. This is all important information for a reader to have.
If you are mindful of the investment your readers are making, mindful of the value of the payoff, and honest with them about both from the start so that they can decide whether the story is for them, you can respect their investment and make sure they have a good time.
3: Thou Shalt Not Make Thy World Less Interesting
This one’s really about payoff, but it’s important enough to be its own commandment. It relates primarily to twists, reveals, worldbuilding, and killing off storylines or characters. One mistake that I see new writers make all the time is that they tank the engagement of their story by introducing a cool fun twist that seems so awesome in the moment and then… is a major letdown, because the implications make the world less interesting.
“It was all a dream” twists often fall into this trap. Contrary to popular opinion, I think these twists can be done extremely well. I’ve seen them done extremely well. The vast majority of the time, they’re very bad. They’re bad because they take an interesting world and make it boring. The same is true of poorly thought out, shocking character deaths – when you kill a character, you kill their potential, and if they’re a character worth killing in a high impact way then this is always a huge sacrifice on your part. Is it worth it? Will it make the story more interesting? Similarly, if your bad guy is going to get up and gloat ‘Aha, your quest was all planned by me, I was working in the shadows to get you to acquire the Mystery Object since I could not! You have fallen into my trap! Now give me the Mystery Object!’, is this a more interesting story than if the protagonist’s journey had actually been their own unmanipulated adventure? It makes your bad guy look clever and can be a cool twist, but does it mean that all those times your protagonist escaped the bad guy’s men by the skin of his teeth, he was being allowed to escape? Are they retroactively less interesting now?
Whether these twists work or not will depend on how you’ve constructed the rest of your story. Do they make your world more or less interesting?
If you have the audience’s trust, it’s permissible to make your world temporarily less interesting. You can kill off the cool guy with the awesome plan, or make it so that the Chosen One wasn’t actually the Chosen One, or even have the main character wake up and find out it was all a dream, and let the reader marinate in disappointment for a little while before you pick it up again and turn things around so that actually, that twist does lead to a more interesting story! But you have to pick it up again. Don’t leave them with the version that’s less interesting than the story you tanked for the twist. The general slop of interest must trend upward, and your sacrifices need to all lead into the more interesting world. Otherwise, your readers will be disappointed, and their experience will be tainted.
Whenever I’m looking at a new piece of writing advice, I view it through these three rules. Is this plot still delivering on the book’s purpose, or have I gone off the rails somewhere and just stared writing random stuff? Does making this character ‘more relateable’ help or hinder that goal? Does this argument with the protagonists’ mother tell the reader anything or lead to any useful payoff; is it respectful of their time? Will starting in medias res give the audience an accurate view of the story and help them decide whether to invest? Does this big twist that challenges all the assumptions we’ve made so far imply a world that is more or less interesting than the world previously implied?
Hopefully these can help you, too.
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ghostlyferrettarot · 2 months ago
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°•. ᰔᩚ 🖤🩰Venus and what
attracts us🩰🖤 ̆̈ .•°.୨ৎ.
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❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️
✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!
🩰If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🩰
🖤Masterlist🖤
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🩰Venus in Aries: is very active. This configuration is attracted to someone who is very fast, with the ability to do, solve and move forward. Their way of conquering is with courage and even with a certain combativeness or competition, for example, someone who challenges them, very cat and mouse game. It is good to know that they do not like doubts in connections.
🩰Venus in Taurus: is very sensual. This configuration is attracted to someone who is very calm. Their way of conquering is from the body and sensuality, even with a rich meal (whether homemade or from a gourmet restaurant). They do not like to be rushed. In love they need stability and security. They especially enjoy earthly pleasures.
🩰Venus in Gemini: is very clever. This configuration is attracted to someone who is very intelligent and especially with the ability to entertain and make people laugh. At the same time, their way of conquering is with the mind, with clever words. They do not like to always make the same plans. In love, they need to be able to talk about the relationship and what is happening to them.
🩰Venus in Cancer: is very emotional. This configuration is attracted to someone with great sensitivity, who is not afraid to show their feelings. Their way of seducing is through affection, warmth and tenderness. They prefer domestic and familiar plans (and better if they are at home) rather than new and disruptive things. In love, they care about being able to feel protected and cared for.
🩰Venus in Leo: is very expressive. This configuration is attracted to someone with an extroverted and striking personality. Their way of seducing is by showing their charisma, with very colorful and shiny clothes, without shame about what people will say. They do not like to go unnoticed. In love, they enjoy romantic, cinematic-style scenes: petals, sunset and candlelight.
🩰Venus in Virgo: is very mental. This configuration is attracted to someone with a great talent for organization and order. Their way of seducing is very helpful, paying attention to details, seeing what the person next to them needs. They don't like messiness. In love, it is important for them to have well-organized and structured plans with his partner during the week.
🩰Venus in Libra: they like bonding with others. This configuration is attracted to someone pleasant, graceful and especially aesthetic. Their way of seducing is from beauty and charm, with a conquering smile. They dont like bad manners, things not following the protocol of elegance. In love, it is very important for him to seek agreement with his partner and not argue.
🩰Venus in Scorpio: is very perceptive. This configuration is attracted to intensity and strong emotions. Is not interested in a superficial bond. They way of seducing is from a penetrating gaze and from sexuality. In love, he needs fusion and total surrender. It is good to remember that not everyone has the same intensity and/or availability of surrender as you. Dose passion does not necessarily mean a lack of interest in bonding.
🩰Venus in Sagittarius: is very adventurous. This configuration is attracted to generosity, enthusiasm and joy. Their way of seducing is from confidence, with naturalness and charisma. They do not like meanness. In love they need everything to be hyperbolic and exaggerated: parties, fun, celebration and trying new things.
🩰Venus in Capricorn: is very realistic. This configuration is attracted to someone responsible, serious, hard-working. Its way of conquering is step by step, with diligence and persistence. It does not like immaturity; on the contrary, in love it needs a formal bond, with stability and commitment (preferably in the form of marriage).
🩰Venus in Aquarius: is very sociable. This configuration is attracted to someone different, with great capacity for creative and original display. Its way of conquering is from its mental speed, its eccentricity and madness. It does not like traditional or classic things. In love it is important to feel free and not to lock itself exclusively in the realm of the couple.
🩰Venus in Pisces: is sensitive. This configuration is attracted to someone sensitive and/or artistic but is, in general, very amorous and dreamy. They like someone who seduces in a subtle, spiritual and magical. They are not interested in a sexual-affective bond without love. In turn, in a relationship, a great deal of commitment and trust is needed to be able to show their hypersensitivity and not feel vulnerable.
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tiarpopdind · 1 month ago
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The cutest vampire ever!!!!!!!! 🦇
Ik october is like THE month of art challenges (forever blaming the Inktober guy) but unfortunately i've never succeeded in partaking in any of them the last like 8 years BUT i still wanted to draw something in celebration of the month!!
So i drew Ominis! As a vampire!!! For Halloween!!!!
I felt like i was so focused on trying to draw him correctly by looking at references and following them and i could feel my art style losing its flair a little because i'm really not used to realism 😖😖
This piece was a nice break from it all, and I'm happy with how it turned out, even though it's a little messy :'D
This is also why every comic part i made is different from one another and how it's never the same style. Trust me, i am very painfully aware of it lol... but I have to remind myself not to take it too seriously and prioritize on trying new things and having fun!!
Ok rant's over thank you for your attention good bye.
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wolfiihoney · 2 months ago
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Toji is the type of husband who… 𝜗𐑞
︶︶⊹ ୨ ♡♡♡Toji is my bby♡♡♡ ୧ ⊹︶︶
Fun fact: Toji and Nanami are my
favorite guys from jjk. Love ‘em sm.
Part 3 of my “the type of husband who” series <333. Unedited
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Toji is the type of husband who Loves chasing you! He’ll wait for you to finally run, then he’s after you like a cheetah looking for its prey. He finds the game of “cat and mouse” so fun because he knows you can’t outrun him (imagine this big man chasing you? Seriously!)
Toji is the type of husband who is very supportive of anything you want to do, whether it be a job change, standing up for yourself, etc. He’s ready to support whatever decision you make (unless it’s a little unhinged; he will let you know without hesitation 😅)
Toji is the type of husband who is very loving, like, VERY sweet. He’s the definition of a “gentle giant,” and he’s not ashamed of it.
Toji is the type of husband who isn’t the best at communicating, but with you, he’s definitely going to try and make it one of his top priorities in the relationship.
Toji is the type of husband who likes being babied by you, and don’t listen to him if he says otherwise because he’s obviously lying.
Toji is the type of husband who Watches you. Whenever he’s around, his eyes are scanning your face, watching your lips, and being mesmerized by every little blemish and freckle on your lovely face.
Toji is the type of husband who does NOT like arguing, so don’t expect it when getting into a relationship with him because it ain’t happening.
Toji is the type of husband who Loves carrying you around. Trying to walk up the stairs? He’s quick to pick you up bridal style. Walking down the steps too slowly? He’s throwing you over his shoulder (he can’t stand slow walkers, but it’s okay because he loves you).
Toji is the type of husband who is very thoughtful. Despite the man’s grumpy demeanor, he always goes out of his way to do the most loving and thoughtful things for you (🥹)
Toji is the type of husband who loves your cooking. It doesn’t matter if you can cook well or not; he loves to eat, and he loves it even more when the meal is from you.
Toji is the type of husband who, like Nanami, does not like texting but doesn’t like calling either; he prefers to talk to you face to face.
Toji is the type of husband who, despite popular belief, always finds a way to make money and takes joy in caring for you. If that means spoiling you with whatever you please, he will very much comply.
Toji is the type of husband who hates sleeping unless he feels he can’t function; that’s until he met you and now he can’t wait for the day to end so he can lay beside you when the day is done.
Toji is the type of husband who loves family and family time. He’s so proud of himself and the family you’ve both created together.
Toji is the type of husband who is VERY protective of you. If someone makes you even slightly uneasy, he’s quick to say something and is ready to stand up for what is his.
Toji is the type of husband who loves watching you enjoy yourself, he invests in any interests you may have because he loves seeing you happy and wishes to make you happy whenever he possibly can.
Toji is the type of husband who is very respectful of your boundaries. Especially when it comes to more intimate moments. His sex drive is insane but he’ll never act on anything until you let him know you’re ready.
Toji is the type of husband who was addicted to caffeine until you taught him about the delight of caffeine-free tea. Now he’ll randomly come home with three new boxes of different flavored teas that he wants to try with you.
Toji is the type of husband who only likes you and Megumi. He could care less if anyone doesn’t want anything to do with him as long as you and Megumi want to.
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Reblogs are definitely appreciated <33
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always-just-red · 3 months ago
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Heya! Rafayel with a reader who's slightly afraid of deep water because she doesn't know how to swim? Fluff please!
Thanks for the request! Hoping this is the perfect balance of heartfelt moments and utter silliness. It's Raf, after all! Gotta have fun with it! ❤
Practice Makes Perfect
Rafayel x Reader 🎨
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Summary: "I'll teach you how to swim!" he said. "It'll be fun!" he said. Let's be honest: the warning signs were there from the very start.
Genre: Fluff
Warnings/Additional tags: gn!reader, established relationship, one instance of swearing, a mild panic attack, humour, Raf bullies you ('out of love!!'— his words, not mine 🙃)
| Word count: 2.3k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
“Rafayel, can you stop that? Please?”
You watch as Rafayel bobs around in the water in front of you. “Swimming?” he asks, pushing slick hair back from his forehead with a lazy smile. “Nah. I’d drown.”
“No, I—” you suck in a sharp breath to keep yourself from wasting it. He knows exactly what you meant. He knows what he’s doing, too: making everything look effortless when you can’t even get out of the stupid boat.
It tips you a little closer towards the ocean, as if responding to your criticisms. You’re done with this. Done with him. Swimming lessons with Rafayel had seemed such a promising idea a few months ago, but now? You’re thinking it would have been better to go it alone. If you’d have drowned, you’d have at least drowned in peace.
He calls his teaching style ‘motivational’, which is to say he spends every lesson trying to motivate you to lunge at him, regardless of your personal safety. It was funny at the local pool. It’s less funny here, on a rickety boat in a deserted bay, where the only witnesses to your demise would be a setting sun and an insufferably smug Lemurian.
You glance up, seeking the familiar half-oceans of his eyes. They’re taunting you to the point of distraction: heating the blood in your veins that had just been running cold. Look at me, they gloat, alive with shimmering reflections, you’re mad at me, remember? 
And they have a point. You are. “Stop showing off.”
“Can’t help it.” Dark water laps at the pale of his collarbone. “It’s just so easy.”
“Says the actual mermaid.”
“Merman!”
“Oh whatever!”
He pouts. Then he strokes his chin thoughtfully. “I was worried about this,” he muses, as if he has actually masterminded a teaching plan, and hasn’t just been winging it from the start. He clicks his fingers, signalling a lightbulb moment. “Lucky for you, your super duper swimming teacher came prepared. Check my bag!”
He sinks until he’s peering out from the water, the lower half of his face submerged so you can’t see his smile. You can, though; it’s obvious. You roll your eyes and take the bait because it’s better than sitting here questioning your life decisions and your own mortality. Your hands rifle through his bag until they stumble upon something unusual. Smooth. Plastic. Is this what he meant?
You pull the package out into the evening light, narrowing your eyes.
Inflatable arm bands. Brand new. A toddler beams at you from their cover, seemingly thrilled by its extra buoyancy, and its parents are watching on with unbridled pride. You tilt your head as you read: suitable for ages 2-5! “Not funny, Raf. Not funny at all.”
“What d’you mean?” You flash the photo at him, tapping the toddler’s face. “Yeah? What about it?”
“These are for kids! You’re making fun of me now? Really?”
“No…” His hand leaves the water to scratch at the back of his head. “I thought that was a suggestion? It was kinda confusing, actually. You humans have such weird stuff to help you swim.”
“Oh don’t you dare play the Lemurian card right now!” you seethe, in the middle of retrieving an arm band from the packaging. “You knew! I know you did.”
Set on making your point, you blow air into the arm band’s nozzle. It’s so infuriatingly small; it takes all of three breaths to fill it. “I mean, look at it!” you exclaim, holding it out to him.
He barely keeps his act together. “I think it’s, like… stretchy, yeah?” His bottom lip is caught between his teeth: he’s biting back laughter. “Try it on, maybe it’ll—”
Smack! The arm band hits the water in front of him, and he blinks down at it, shocked.
“Wooooow,” he enthuses sarcastically, “nice throw! I bet the Wanderers just run for the hills when they see you comin—”
Thwack! Another half-inflated arm band strikes his face, and he reels backwards.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“You’re so full of it, Rafayel!” you can’t help leaning towards him, and the rowboat lurches. You clutch at the side of it, but you’ve had enough. “Ugh. Screw it.”
Your adrenaline is lurching too, and you make the most of the momentum: taking a deep breath and swinging your legs over the boat’s side. The chill of the ocean steals that breath away as you lower yourself into it. You’re going slowly, so slowly, your fingers still latched to the boat. But this is… something. You’re in the water. Oh gods you’re in the water. Don’t think about it. Don’t.
“Raf…” you squeak, because how can you not think about it when it’s cold and around your neck?
“I’m here,” he reassures from behind you, and he’s not close, but he’s close enough.
You look at him over your shoulder, gently tugging at the boat until you’re afforded a better view. He chuckles as he flicks the offending arm bands back into it: a calculated arc that sprinkles saltwater over your head. You wince, but you don’t mind.
“You just gonna… hang out there, then?” Rafayel enquires as you wipe a stray droplet from your eye.
“Yep.”
“Nice,” he grins, and it’s weirdly sincere. “Kinda wish you were over here, though.”
“Yeah?” You don’t move.
“I miss you.”
“Aww.”
You’re still not moving, but it doesn’t crush the embers of amusement that glow within his eyes. He’s thinking up ways to drive you crazy again, you just know it. “You could totally make it over here if you wanted,” he says flippantly. “It’s just swimming. If jellyfishes can do it, you definitely can.”
What? What? “They’re sea creatures!”
“Yeah, but they’re soooo stupid.” He taps his head. “No brains, y’know?”
You turn to the boat, pulling yourself impossibly closer to it. “Raf, c’mere,” you beckon, reaching back to him— grabbing at air.
“Why?” He draws nearer.
“So I can hit you.”
You swing a hand at him, but he dodges it, laughing. “If you wanna hit me, you have to reach me.”
There’s movement in the corner of your eye, so you twist to see it. His thumbs and forefingers have met as a square; he’s making a viewfinder. “What are you doing?” you speak from inside the frame.
“Making sure I remember this. I think I’ll paint it.” A corner of his lips lifts as he reveals a prospective title: “Cutie braves shark-infested waters.”
“Sharks?!”
“Who said anything about sharks?”
He’s messing with you— you know he’s messing with you— but you hide your face against your arms, all the same. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to stifle your senses and your spiralling thoughts. You’re feeling everything too keenly: the water licking at your throat, the darkness beneath you, around you, waiting to pull you under and fill your mouth.
You never feel further from Rafayel than when you remember he calls that darkness home.
“Rafayel?” you call out, because you need him to tell you you’re being ridiculous. You need him to laugh with you, at you— you don’t care so long as you can hear it.
The only sound is water, and it’s cold and dispassionate.
“…Rafayel?” You glance behind you, and he isn’t there.
What do you do? What do you do? Your mind is in contest with your heart; they’re both trying to see who can race faster. You still can’t move. Shit. What can you do?
“Hey.” Rafayel’s voice makes you jump. He’s next to you all of a sudden, water streaming down from his hair and running over his shoulders. He rests an arm on the boat, too. “I’m here, ok? I’ve got you. Just breathe.”
Breathe? “Don’t do that!” you force out of aching lungs, and then your mouth is trying to catch up with the rest of you. “I thought something happened to you! What if something did happen to you? I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t help you. What if—”
“Hey, hey, hey, hey,” he cuts in. “Nothing’s gonna happen to me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Your eyes are watering and he’s so close, but it’s not enough. You reach out, pulling him, urging him to close the distance, and he leans in, pressing his forehead to yours. You can feel the heat of his breath and it’s deep, slow: one, two. One. Two. You hold him until you can match it, and almost everything’s still— the ocean, your mind— but not your heart.  
The waves break softly against the boat and they’re breathing with him, too.
“You ok?” Rafayel murmurs. His wet hair is clinging to your skin.
“Yeah,” you sigh.  
He pulls away and gives you a smile. “Wanna know what I’m thinking about?”
Always.  
“The claw machine,” he continues, because it was, as you suspected, a rhetorical question. “Remember that time you took, like, a hundred goes to get that one plushie? We were there for, what— an hour? Maybe two?”
You sniffle, and you’re just leaning on the boat, now— not gripping it. “That’s because it was a peach blossom birb, Raf. They’re super rare.” Another sniffle. “And the only reason I got it is because you kept buying more tokens.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Because I knew you’d get it eventually. Just like I know you’re gonna get this. We’ve got all the tokens in the world, yeah? So it’s just like before. One go at a time.”
His gaze is full of faith, and you want to be worthy of it. “One go at a time,” you repeat. “Thanks, Raf. Really.” You tilt towards him again, set on kissing his cheek, but he swerves away like it’s another attack.  
“Nuh-uh.” He propels himself backwards. “You wanna kiss me? You gotta meet me out here, cutie.”
And he’s so far already. “C’mon, Raf,” you whine.
“C’mon yourself! Look at me!” He runs a hand through his hair— beads of water sliding and sparkling across his skin. “I’m a total catch.”
“More like catch of the day when I get my hands on you.”
“Cute,” he quips, treading water. “You gonna come get me then, or what?”
You eye up the distance between you. You’re willing yourself to cross it; it won’t be good, it won’t be graceful, but you can do it, right? You just have to go for it. Three. Two. One… Go!
Nothing happens. Rafayel laughs quietly, and it’s warm— so passionate.  
“Here,” he says, meeting you in the middle. He holds out his hand.
You can’t trust the boat; it rocks beneath your touch and at the behest of every wave. It is just a thing, like you, at the mercy of something so much bigger than itself. Not Rafayel, though. He’s a part of all this, maybe even the heart of all this. The ocean will not betray him. It needs him to beat for it. To bleed.
Your hand grasps his and you let him guide you into the open water. You’re borrowing him. Stealing him, if only for a moment. He isn’t living for his ocean right now— he’s looking at you. Just you. There are canvases back in his studio, awash with cerulean waves and his love for Lemuria, but there are sketchbook pages, too: you, asleep on his couch. You, with a lily in your hair.
A few days from now, there’ll be a new one, etched eagerly in dark pencil. This.  
Rafayel smiles as you tread water with him. Your movements are clumsy, half-frantic, but you’re keeping yourself afloat. He gives you time to adjust, to find some semblance more of a natural rhythm, but your muscles ache and you’re getting tired, so he draws your arms around his neck.
“What d’you think?” he asks, because you’ve captured him. “Better than a beach bottom bird, right?”
“A peach blossom birb,” you giggle into his shoulder.
“Yeah, that too.”
The sky is full of stars, and the sun has sunk behind the wine-dark horizon.  
Rafayel rests his chin on his arms, staring down into the ocean from the edge of the boat, and he’s deep, deep below those waters too. You don’t have to see his eyes to know the faraway look they’re harbouring. There’s nostalgia for all the things he cannot show you. Grief. Rage. Regret.
He thinks you don’t see it, but you do. Especially on nights like this, when the azures of the waves turn black beneath the moon, and they could just as well be blood-red.
“Thanks for waiting for me, Rafayel.”
You’re not sure what compels you to say it, but he glances up at you, his gaze a brief storm of turquoise before settling to its usual amethyst. “Waiting for you?” he asks warily.
“To get all of this swimming stuff. I know it must seem silly to you.”
He relaxes, sitting up straight with a smirk. “Most of what you do seems silly to me. Not this, though. Change can be… scary sometimes.”
“Yeah.”
He slouches back down, but he’s on his side this time— still looking at you. “What made you decide you wanna swim, anyway?”
You mirror him, laying your head against the boat’s edge. “I don’t know. I guess—” waves are sloshing beneath you— “I guess it’s because the sea is a part of you. It’s in your paintings, your stories, and I’ve always felt… disconnected from it. Like it’s fiction— something I could only ever hear about second-hand. But I want to feel it for myself. To know it. All of it. All of you.”  
With a sigh, you give your hand to the ocean and draw mindless shapes in the water. Rafayel watches. You both know you’re only touching the surface.
He smiles, bittersweet. “Wanna go home?” he says.
Home. You pull your hand out of the water and smile back.
It’s been a long day. Yeah, you wanna go home.
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