#try adding a scene where one of the characters just destroys a toilet

[st-sandwich]

having a hard time watching serious movies lately bc all i can think about is how all the characters are pooping and peeing between the scenes

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians!  (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order. 

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters. 

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables. 

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn. 

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew. 

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles. 

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone. 

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see. 

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not. 

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better. 

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha? 

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode. 

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience. 

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION. 

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit. 

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is. 

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question. 

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands  on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice.  My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that. 

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving. 

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing.  For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way. 

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE. 

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking,  brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them. 

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected. 

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square. 

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow. 

[majimemegoro]

as a huge fan of depicting scenes i absolutely want to read how you envisioned sato and okudera's first interactions yes please

Ok !!! I'm not fully pleased with it yet, but this one is for you, comrade! anyone please share any thoughts or advice you have. *FROZEN ROAR SPOILERS*

November When Sato woke up, at first he was surprised that he wasn’t in his cell. He had gotten used to that dim, miserable little room. But instead he was - what, in some kind of shack? There was worn wood overhead, and the smell of dirt and woodsmoke. He blinked blearily up at the low ceiling and shifted a little as he struggled to remember where he was, and how he had gotten here. Then there was a shuffling sound to one side, and a face was looming over him. And Sato found himself staring into the eyes of his mark. Okudera, 51 years old, 1.8 meters, 86 kilograms. He was bearded, and his hair had grown longer, but it was unmistakeably the man from the photograph Sato had been given, smuggled in rolled up in a toilet paper tube. Urgently Sato tried to sit up, succeeding only in raising himself onto his elbows and sending a wave of excruciating pain through his body. A flash of white overtook his eyes, and then faded away. He swallowed with difficulty. “Oh no,” the man said, backing away a little, “Don’t move! You have a nasty frostbite, you’ll damage your tissues.” Frostbite. Yes. Sato had been thrown from the snowmobile, and wandered for awhile, and been sure he was going to freeze to death. But he was alive. And his mark, the man who had apparently been impossible to find for two years already, also seemed to be alive. If only he could confirm the identity for sure- “I’m Okudera, by the way,” the man said. Sato let out a shaky breath and lowered himself back down onto the bedroll. “What’s your name?” Okudera asked. Sato said nothing. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll just go into town and check the news to see which inmate recently escaped from Abashiri.” Reflexively Sato tried to sit up again, and pain shot through his body anew. He considered lying, but - the location, the uniform - it was obvious. There was no point. “Turn me in, then,” he rasped. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to kill Okudera quickly in this state. This whole hit was turning into a mess. Instead of tracking Okudera, offing him in one good, clean swoop that would look like an accident, and then disappearing again, Sato was injured and at the mercy of the man he was supposed to kill. But Okudera shook his head, and crouched over the fire, poking at it with a stick. “I don’t want to turn you in,” he said. “I just want to know your name.” Again Sato considered lying, but as Okudera had just pointed out, it was an easy thing to fact-check. Sato’s mugshot was probably papered all over Sapporo by now. “Sato. Sato Kiyoshi.” “Nice to meet you, Sato,” Okudera said. “Are you hungry?” Sato was, in fact, hungry. He turned his head to look around the little hovel and saw there was a fireplace with a pot over it. “...Yes,” he admitted. “Great,” Okudera said. “You still shouldn’t move much, but if you can prop yourself up a little, I can tenderly feed stew into your mouth.” He threw a grimy pillow at Sato’s face. Sato gingerly maneuvered it behind his neck. Okudera finished preparing two bowls of stew and scooted over beside Sato, placing a bowl down. There was a moment’s pause. “Oh, I was kidding about feeding you,” Okudera said lightly. “Moving your arms a little isn’t going to kill you. Probably.” Scowling, Sato managed with difficulty to get into a hunched sitting position. The stew was hot, the meat tender. It was seasoned plainly, with just salt and onions. Sato tried to eat slowly, moving his arms as little as possible. It was difficult not to just wolf it down; it had probably been over 24 hours since he had eaten. “...How long was I out?” he asked between bites. Okudera swallowed what must have been a giant bite, from the effort it seemed to take, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “A whole day,” he said. “I carried you back late last night, and now it’s late again. I don’t know what time. It’s been dark for hours already.” He began shovelling food into his mouth once more. Sato nodded, and resumed feeding himself. The meat was a bit gamey. It

conjured up very old memories. “...Is this rabbit?” he asked. Mouth full, Okudera nodded. His eyes widened a little, as though he were impressed that Sato could recognize the meat by its flavour and texture. But he didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he swallowed another massive bite. “By the way,” he said, “I don’t suppose you have any contraband on you?” Sato narrowed his eyes. “What?” “You know. Isn’t jail a hotspot for contraband? Do you have any cigarettes or drugs?” “Uh, no.” “Aw. Shit,” Okudera said good-naturedly. “Oh well. Can’t have everything in this world.” And he turned his attention back to the food. Can’t have everything, huh, Sato reflected sarcastically, observing the surroundings. It seemed more like Okudera had almost nothing. The building they were in was more alike in size to a hunting hut than a proper house, and one in a poor state of upkeep at that, but the impressive array of items hung on the rough walls and piled at the edges of the floor - more than any man could carry with him - left no doubt that this was Okudera’s permanent dwelling. Wary of seeming too observant, Sato looked back down to his rabbit stew and kept eating.

[...]

“You’re lucky I found you out there,” Okudera said conversationally. “If I’d been half an hour later you probably wouldn’t have made it.” Sato didn’t reply. He was thinking about the little hearth, about having a fire in such a small, derelict structure; thinking about whether it would be possible, in theory, to suffocate Okudera and somehow blame the death on the fire. Burn the place to the ground, with Okudera inside. Preferably already dead, since Okudera looked strong and the walls didn’t. Destroy the evidence that way. It was possible. But Sato didn’t yet know if anyone else knew he was here. He cleared his throat. “Do you live alone?” he asked. His voice still hoarse, more than usual. But he had almost frozen to death. “Nope,” Okudera said. “This guy is staying with me. I rescued him from the mountain. He’s an escaped convict from Abashiri.” Sato’s eyes narrowed. “...Are you talking about me?” “No, I’m taking about the other escaped convict I rescued,” Okudera said sarcastically. Then, “Yes, idiot, I’m talking about you.” So Okudera did live alone. And with any luck, he wasn’t close with any neighbours he had, as might be predicted from the fact that no one had been able to track him down until now. Getting close to anyone was dangerous for a wanted man. Sato nodded slowly. “I hate to impose on you,” he said. He would have to exaggerate the effects of the hypothermia and frostbite, maybe even fake an illness until he had a foolproof plan, so Okudera would think he was weak. “As soon as I recover I’ll depart-“ “Ah, I don’t really care,” Okudera said. “You can stay as long as you want. But,” he added sharply, “I’m trying to make money, here, so you’ll have to learn to hunt if you want to stick around. I’m not wasting good game on you if I can help it.” “I don’t eat much,” Sato said. Okudera scoffed. “Be grateful I fed you anything,” he said. “I don’t owe you shit.” “Why did you save me?” Sato asked. “You seem like a pretty selfish guy.” The comment had been calibrated to make Okudera angry, but instead he just made a stern, motherly look. “My dear man,” he said. “Can’t a selfish guy do something out of character, if he wants to?” What an odd, dangerous thought. Sato flexed his aching fingers, judging how long it would be before they regained enough strength to pull a trigger, to grasp a knife, to wring a man’s neck. Not long. Not long. But Sato was a professional, and he didn’t want to leave any loose ends. So he needed to learn more about his target. For now, he would bide his time. Learn how to hunt, if he had to. And he said, “I guess.”

[becca-petersen]

Broadway to Tour Changes

Since I’ve been asked about it a lot, here is a list of all the changes I noticed in the Mean Girls touring production. There are probably some that I missed and some of these changes are so miniscule but I just included them anyway! Don’t read on if you don’t want spoilers.

The little one or two line songs Cady sings throughout have been completely cut and replaced with straight dialogue

The only change I noticed in A Cautionary Tale was when Janis says “You can’t buy integrity at the mall it’s not for sale” Damian just replies with “Truth” instead of the “Nice!” “Thank you” exchange

“It Roars” has changed a LOT and rather than describe the changes in full, you can listen to it on my page if you search for it! I’ve never listened to the DC version but apparently it’s a combination of the current “It Roars” and “Wildlife”. Cady already knows they’re moving at the beginning of the song. The song starts with Cady’s mom telling them they need to leave and Cady says she’s just saying goodbye. The jokes about America are different too. Mrs Heron says “But the United States is so -” Cady and Mr Heron: “Violent and racist and everyone’s on opioids?” The ensemble sings something when she arrives at the school and I honestly can’t understand what they’re saying, but maybe someone else knows what the words are. The song still ends the same way. I actually liked the tour version a lot better! I think it helps Cady’s character development earlier on in the show.

There were a few changes in “Where Do You Belong?”. The line is now “There’s girls who eat their feelings and girls that don’t eat, they’re not a Lifetime movie but they might be.” And “Debate team and dance team, they like to compete / but neither one would take me, so they can bite me.” And then during his dance break he says “Big mistake, dance team!” 

As far as I could tell, “Meet the Plastics” was the same, but someone on Reddit said a verse was cut but I checked my Broadway audios and Meet the Plastics was the same length as the tour track

Stupid With Love was the same except she says “with dreamy smile and shiny eyes, he is live and in the room” instead now, which I know is what they change the line to when Curtis is on for Aaron on Broadway as well

In Apex Predator, but Lizzie Thurman now says “This is why I have to be high every day” at the end of her aside about Regina.

Also in Apex Predator, Regina now says something like “Cady, come here. I’m going to buy you those suede heels, because you need more.” Cady says “More what?” then Regina says “More shoes! More style, more height, more butt lift. Trust me, more is better!” which I felt was a nice way to set up “More is Better” later on in the show. 

Regina’s mom no longer has the dog but instead has a giant margarita. The jokes in this scene have changed too. Now she says her @ cool mom username and there’s a joke about #bellytea #ad and Regina says “You can’t say #ad if no one is paying you.” Her mom asks for tech help because she accidentally Marco Polo’d her dad’s boss on the toilet again. Then when she leaves she says “Enjoy those tiny butts... because it’s all going to go.” 

What’s Wrong With Me? was the same. 

Sexy was the same

Someone Gets Hurt was also the same

In “Revenge Party,” there are a few changes 

Damian says he almost had an inside man at summer camp instead of governor’s school

About one minute in Janis immediately says they need to find a way to destroy her hotness and Cady says she knows how and they all say “The Kalteen bars” in unison. Then Cady is in the lunchroom with the Plastics and convinces Regina to take the kalteen bars. The scene where Cady and Gretchen talk and Gretchen defends Regina and gives Cady a hug for Regina was completely cut.

 instead of “Your hair looks sexy pushed back,” it goes like this: Regina: Cady, settle an argument. Are his eyes gray or green? Cady: They’re green. Regina: No. I think they’re gray. (Regina kisses Aaron).

Fearless was changed but I assume everyone has seen the new video! The Someone Gets Hurt Reprise is gone and instead Cady sings a reprise of “It Roars”

“Stop” - on Broadway as Cady leaves, Damian says “she’s leaving! Just like my dad.” But on tour she leaves while they’re dancing and when Damian notices she’s gone he says “She left! Just like my dad.”

WWWMR - I know this is such a miniscule change but on Broadway when Cady asks Gretchen and Karen about the party and the cheese and crackers they say “Yeah, yeah, yeah” in unison but on tour they go, “Yeah, mmm.” The reprise was the same though!

Whose House is This - the song was the same, but the scene with Aaron upstairs was just a little bit different. Cady no longer says “Sit boy, sit.” She says “Sit down! I’m awesome!” He no longer mispronounces Maasai and asks if he’s pronouncing it right, he just asks her if what he read about them is true.

More is Better is the same

Someone Gets Hurt Reprise is also the same

World Burn was the same

The gym scene was a little different. The part about men going around grabbing butts and shooting everybody was cut. 

I’d Rather Be Me was the same. The monologue Cady has after Regina got hit by a bus was a little bit different but only slightly. 

Fearless Reprise - the Fearless Reprise was shortened. The part about “I sound like a monster and maybe that’s so. I was offered bad choices but I could have said no. I’m back to lunch in the bathroom stall, hunching my shoulders to make myself small. They’re walking right by like I’m not even there. And then they stare and yes I do care.” was all cut. On tour it just goes “Fearless is not a word I’d use for me now. If I were fearless I would make better decisions. But fearless may be the one thing I can be now. No friends, nothing to lose. Find my way back and truly choose to be -(speaking)  I wrote it! I wrote that Ms. Norbury’s a drug pusher and it’s a lie.” Duvall : Three weeks suspension and you’re banned from Spring Fling. Cady: “I will try to be fearless.”

In the “Rule of Twos” one of Karen’s lines was cut - the one after she talks about Coach Carr’s open marriage where she says “And I should probably leave the parking lot immediately, which I do”

Do This Thing - the scene after the song is changed, they no longer try to get past Duvall into the dance with Aaron acting like a drunk mess. Ms. Norbury says she can get them in because people are scared of her now. Cady and Aaron share a kiss and Ms. Norbury says not to do that in front of her because she’s their teacher and says they better leave before she gets arrested again

I See Stars - some repetitive lyrics have been cut. When Aaron comes up to Cady in the lion suit during the song and takes the head off i think they kiss again. 

Janis comes on stage with Cady during the song and they sing these lines to each other: J: plastic don’t shine. C: Glitter don’t shine. J: Rhinestones don’t shine the way you do. Both: You are on fire, you can rise higher, up in the sky. Enjoy the view.

Then it’s back to a solo for just Cady! And before Janis and Damian chime in to say “The moral of our story is thus” they changed it to “Say what you are. We’re stars, stars, stars!” but the song resumes normally after the dialogue is over.

Overall I actually really liked the changes! I thought the show flowed really nicely and I was admittedly skeptical going in. If you have a chance to see the show on tour you totally should. 

[ptw30]

Atlas/Voltron - Cool design but ultimately meant nothing. Seriously.

When I was reading the amazing @fudayk​‘s post about the last EP interview, I was horrified by most of it, but one thing that did strike me as particularly deplorable was that JDS felt the Atlas/Voltron merge was overlooked because of all the backlash. 

So I wanted to take a moment to say - the Atlas/Voltron merge meant absolutely nothing. 

Now I do want to give kudos where kudos are due - I actually liked the Atlas/Voltron merge. I did. In fact, I loved it. 

I mean - 

Look.

At. 

It. 

The EPs know how to make something pretty, that’s for sure. However, what did the Atlas/Voltron formation ultimately mean? That the team could go after Honerva, sure. But the merge didn’t have any emotional weight to it. 

The Balmera pop out of nowhere to do it. In fact, that created a plot hole because why could all these Balmeras converge but that one Balmera needed a wormhole? So now we have scared Balmeras who can use wormholes and less-than-sacred Balmerans who can’t?  And how did Shay know that the Balmeras were needed? Can Balmeras talk to one another? 

Moving on...

Who is creating the Atlas/Voltron merge? 

Not Shiro. It looks like he’s holding on for dear life. 

As my sister says, it looks like the paladins are all having a hard time on the toilet. 

Maybe Allura is controlling the Atlas/Voltron transformation? She is a sacred Altean after all and helped create Sincline. 

...nope, not Allura. I mean, at this rate, it might as well have been Keith.

So how did Atlas/Voltron merge? Why does the final mecha appear as it does - as a White Lion when the White Lion was destroyed? And why does it have high heels? No woman goes fighting in high heels, DreamWorks. Can we finally get rid of that annoying trope? 

But the Atlas/Voltron merge is not the culmination of the series. It’s not the paladins - six becoming one. (It should have been - more on that below the cut.) The paladins routinely left Shiro behind throughout Season 8, and Atlas isn’t the White Lion.

I would say at best, Altas/Voltron is a last-ditch attempts by execs (not JDS and LM) to try to give Shiro fans some comfort that Shiro is still a paladin in some capacity. (He is. He’s the Black Paladin, but he’s not a paladin in a lion during the merge.)

...but that’s it. Really. There’s nothing more there for us to feel about Atlas/Voltron. It’s just - shrug. So they made a bigger mecha. Even later, they make bigger wings, which...all right. So?   

But there is and should be have been more to the Atlas/Voltron merge - and here’s why. 

Let’s start in the middle with Atlas. 

I remember reading Donya’s Hyable review of Season 7 and being somewhat apprehensive yet excited that “Shiro is going to be reborn and it’s going to be awesome.”

When Atlas transformed, I felt something all right. Demoralized. The transformation meant Shiro wasn’t going to be in back in Black. It meant Sendak, in “Crystal Venom,” was right and Shiro shouldn’t/couldn’t be a Voltron paladin. It meant the lion swap was permanent, and it meant Allura was going to stay a foot soldier and not retake her place as a commander. 

I’ve already discussed why Allura needed to be the commander of the Atlas, so I’ll spare you going over that again. 

But Atlas’ transformation meant something. 

Now, a majority of the fanbase also didn’t like it because the Atlas transformation wasn’t a win for Shiro, just like Keith being able to open Black’s wings wasn’t a win for Keith. (It could have been a win for both Shiro and Keith, if Shiro had gone back to Black, Keith to Red, and them opening the wings together symbolized the “stronger together” theme.) 

However, Shiro having Allura’s tiara crystal, transforming the Atlas with her power and having absolutely no “sacred Altean skills” to do so - was just the EPs moving around chess pieces without any idea of how or why those pieces were there to begin with. 

Now if Allura, having earned those skills on Oriande, having used a crystal her father or mother gave her, and using her Altean power to fuel the Atlas’ transformation - and now able to do it on the fly, after it had taken her weeks or months to make Sincline - that’s character development, people! 

And if we all go all the back to Season 2 - Shiro unlocking Black’s wings was epic. 

It meant something. It was the culmination of Shiro fighting Zarkon for the right to be the Black Paladin. The series even conveniently reminds of you that as Shiro is connecting with Black to open its wings without a bayard. 

It happens after Shiro refuses to let Zarkon take control of Black one more time and literally goes unconscious so Black isn’t taken over. I mean, this scene had everything - emotion, action, and payoff to the max. 

Let’s go even farther back to Keith getting Red’s railgun. That makes sense, too. He’s fighting against Zarkon, the emperor of the universe. He has a chance to end the war right here, right now, and he is in so over his head. But he’s trying desperately. 

And hey - there’s even the added emotional value of - Zarkon took Shiro from Keith for more than a year. He put Shiro through hell, and Keith wants to stop that from ever happening again. (That’s also why - as Shiro being the hero of his own story in Season 2, was able to defeat Zarkon. But Shiro, no longer a hero according to the EPs, is unable to finish off Sendak in Season 7.)

That leads us to - 

The Atlas/Voltron merge should have been epic. 

Why? Because it had everything - or it should have. 

For a moment, let’s imagine Shiro was in Black following Season 6. Since Pidge is able to create her blaster on Voltron, then Shiro may be able to form his wings on Voltron. 

Coupled with the back of the box reading - 

To achieve Hyper-Phase mode, the Voltron team taps into Princess Allura’s unique connection to the Quintessence to imbue the Lions with energy, upgrading their weapons and supercharging the Lions!

So instead of Keith and Lance needing to make wings, Season 7 might have shown us Shiro making the wings with Allura super-powering Voltron, to get the team back to Earth. 

That’s a natural progression for Allura and Shiro’s characters. You have - 

Shiro making the wings and Allura stopping Haggar

Allura super-charges Voltron to get off Naxzela

Allura goes to Oriande with Lotor and learns Altean Alchemy 

Allura helps Lotor build Sincline (in a few weeks? months?)

Shiro opens Black’s wings on Voltron (with his bayard) and Allura super-charges Voltron to get the team to Earth. 

(EDIT: Season 7 dropped in August 2018. Hyperphase Voltron was set to go into mass production in Fall 2018, right after Season 7 aired.)

Let’s continue this - 

Allura becomes the commander of Atlas and lowers the particle barrier on Earth to take on Sendak, an exact parallel of the pilot episode. 

Allura goes to Oriande in Season 8 and instead of the White Lion dying, she infuses the White Lion with Atlas to save it. 

On the fly, Allura is able to merge Atlas/Voltron, creating six lions, six paladins - one super-charged mecha - and making the team whole. 

Peeps, that would have been awesome. 

Allura, bringing together the whole team; Allura, combining her skills and determination with her knowledgeable of Altean Alchemy, Allura and the White Lion, having a homecoming with the paladins and Atlas - six fully realized paladins - in a cool-looking mecha with yes, high heels. 

...but what a culmination of 78 episodes that would that have been. 

[alissabila]

[1] 4 sept - self journal

The day started just about as normal as usual, woke up late, had a shower race, came up to class late without forgetting to show exhaustion while the day just even started. And yes that's my kind of normal. I don't know how to describe my day again but everything went very similar like any other day. Maybe the interesting part was the cultural landscape preservation subject, we discussed about the legal aspects of cultural heritage, the unesco and regulations stuffs, it was always interesting when it comes to united nations but legal aspect was never been in my concern.

Talking about my mood today, lately i've been feeling very empty and lost. I'm not trying to be hyperbolic but lately it feels like im drowning in the thick black sea where the oil has leaked, and the water is slimy and oily (maybe?) and you can't breathe as the black oil got into your mouth and started filling your throat then probably your lung and all happend while you drowning. You can't do nothing and you're being eaten up. It's not a new feeling. I've been here. So many times. Yet i still don't know how do i deal with it. I was just "and yep here we go again, this phase again". In the current moment, i have a lot to do, like real lots. Let's do a recall to every places I put myself into: AIESEC, TEDXIPB, Faculty competition, Himpro, uncountable amount of landscape tasks, and many other things that should be done but I didn't keep it in mind. This phase had taken me to the highest level of not being productive. I completely conscious about my responsibility, that i already in the best platform i could have, but IT'S JUST STOPPED ME LIKE THAT. I JUST COULDN'T DO IT AND IT DIDN'T NEED ANY PRECISE REASON. I hate that i had to say that i don't feel alive.

Long classes and time passed, i skipped short film competition session, like i said before, i just couldnt do it. And i really mean it. Out of nowhere, i didnt remember how it happened, but i ended sitting with Abi and started to talk about everything, in literal meaning. Everything. Then he just randomly shouted "NGOPI YUUK" without even really proposing. But i was like, yes lets go now please its been a long time since my last caffeine. And we agreed to try the new coffeeshop behind the campus, it seems interesting because the landform is hilly and the coffeeshop is in the down so you could only see the parking lot from the road. Who knew they had marijuana plantation down there? Lol ok kidding its haram.

We took our laptops, in case we had the drive to finish our site plan task and just go without hesitation. I always been wondering how the coffeeshop looks like because it's pretty much in remote area i might say? Well i didn't expect much actually, then again it's only Dramaga how good can it be? (I am truly sorry for the deprecation i swear the next paragraph would be filled with praise)

As I said before, it had this 'not very normal land contour', we needed to go down a very steep road to reach the parking lot. Next, there was a small wooden gate, very traditional and there our feet started to walk down the ramp, it was pretty steep for a ramp but they had this natural stones with much textures so it didnt feel slippery. Down and down and down, we walked to a small path with very natural and organic shaped stone, they didnt really make it as a strict lined path that has all the stones to step along the path, and they didnt really cut the vegetations around no matter how wild and messy it is. And i found this really good. Along the stone path, i could see the view of a green space with some industrial table and chair. On the right side, there set a small traditional wooden terrace, with it's coffee roasting machine, industrial chairs again (you know that type of metal chair), some really retro chair as well really retro colors, some coffee tables were a recycled sewing machine wow so you got to play with the pedal HAHA. fun fun thing. Before reaching the coffeshop area, you would find this mini pedestrian bridge crossing a small water stream. All i could say all of these are beyond expectation, i really love what i'm seeing. Other thing that amused me was, the river was just next to all of it and i really loved the sound of water it always gave me calm I couldn't have from anything. They had this backyard of traditional house feelings and yet they served natural landscape scene. I could smell the wet grass, I could smell the wooden house construction, I could smell the coffee being roasted, I could see how they managed to not destroy the existing landscape as much as they can, I could hear the water having it's rhythm, and I could hear all these people having an intimate discussion, and all i could think is all my senses had been blessed. They also had this vintage shelf with vintage things, that vintage metal coffee cups, bamboo walled toilets, aaaa im in love with everything here it's like the owner really put his soul into this. At some point i felt grateful for this place, and by that i felt alive again at least for this moment. This could be my very short escape from all the dullness in life (I'm really trying not to be hyperbolic but I am who I am). One thing i also realized was; to be grateful, it doesn't have to be ourself as the main character in it, it doesn't have to be our destiny, and it doesn't have to be our story. One serene coffeeshop could make it work,and other peculiar thing also could work, maybe we just need to be more detail to what's around us. This place reminded me a lot of Bandung. Which I also very grateful, now i can get Bandung vibes in hand. As the night came, the place got more quiet that it enhanced the sound of the river, added by the frog sounds and the buzz of night insects. This night was cold but somehow what surrounds me, the yellowish lighting, all the chit chat with Abi, gave me warmth. Cold night with a warm heart.

Shitty stuff still happened tho, it took forever for my laptop to install the autocad and i couldn't find the keygen for cracking the app because my brokeass couldn't afford the legal one. I decided to continue my read on Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore. It's my second book of Murakami. It's only been chapter two but i already highlighted a lot haha. To end this very first self journal, I would present my today's favorite quote from Kafka on the Shore. Ciao.

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine."

[fyrapartnersearch]

Harry Potter Originals; M//, F//

My name is Jupiter, I'm 21, and I'm looking to roleplay original characters in the Harry Potter universe! I only write with people who are 18 or older, very preferably 20+ as well. I'm fine with side pairings of any gender combination, but I'd prefer the main pairing to either be M// or F//. I can shoot off replies a few times a week depending on my work schedule.

  My post length varies between novella or multiple paragraphs depending on what we agree on; if we don't write novella, my first few posts tend to be very lengthy as I ease into everything, and then it tapers into around 4-5 paragraphs or so. I won't write with anyone who writes less than three paragraphs; I'm not hyper stingy with length, I just value quantity and quality in relatively equal measure. It also kind of sucks when you write a huge post and only get a paragraph in response. Just tell me if you'd rather multi-p or novella. I write in third person, past tense but I can do present tense as well if that's what you prefer. Doubling tends to be my default (either two M// relationships, two F//, or one of each) but it's not required, so let me know off the bat if that's not what you usually stick with.

  Other things to mention before getting into the meat of my ad and just dump all of my ideas in one spot: I'd really prefer not to write students. As a general rule I don't write anyone younger than 20, both because of the nature of my RPs and because it just feels weird to me to write about kids in school despite the fact that Hogwarts is pretty much the objectively best thing about the series' setting! I would, however, totally be down with writing professor characters in Hogwarts. I would only write students if we're doing a brief "through the life" scenario of characters meeting or touching on the years as they go on and then focusing the roleplay when they're adults.

  Smut is good, but like doubling, not required. It goes without saying that any and all characters will be adults, of course. My limits underage characters/pedophilia, incest, nonconsensual/dubious consent, bestiality, gore, mpreg, A/B/O, toilet kinks, sexual abuse, things of that ilk. I also only write switch characters in bed and would prefer you do the same. I've spent way too many years playing with partners who only play bottoms in smut scenes, so I'm all burnt out on that, man.

  I'm a very big pinterest user and extremely hooked on aesthetics, so moodboards are to be expected on my half. I think practically everyone who roleplays nowadays is a big fan of pinterest, at least from my experience haha. As for face claims, I do prefer to use them! It's strange, though — I was so fervently against them for so many years as a roleplayer since I've got such a clear idea of characters in my head that it's impossible to find an actor or model to fit the image, and it used to break my immersion in roleplays if I was writing against a particularly well-known actor or model (and it still does to a degree, I try to stay away from the main hollywood actors like Chris Evans haha), but now it helps ground me a little more for some reason? I feel more like it's a world of our own when I have a clear face to look on. In any case, as I said above, I prefer face claims, but I won't be upset if you'd prefer not to use them.

  Onto what you're really looking for!

  I'd love to write a setting in modern times as opposed to the original late '90's, exploring how the wizarding world and wizarding laws have shifted with the advancement of muggle technology; I'd imagine it was much easier to keep magic under wraps before smartphones came into the equation. Maybe the wizarding world is under stress or extreme restriction due to this.

  A reinvented Triwzard Tournament would be extremely fun! Now, I know the tournament was banned after Harry's foray into it since Cedric was killed, but hear me out: maybe it's reconstructed due to the fact that the previous tournament went the way it did because of the whole Voldemort situation. I'd really prefer a tournament held between school alumni as opposed to students anyway, both because it just makes more sense with the nature of the game as well as the fact that it means we wouldn't have to be writing kids. Maybe even the professors to touch on the school pride while still keeping the heart of the games intact? Or something else completely, I'm just tossing out ideas. This is sort of the main thing I'm aiming for at the moment since I'd really love to write a tournament and it gives us a lot of freedom to work with different ideas/settings/situations.

  I like the idea of exploring lives post-Hogwarts since the main series doesn't really get into that (excluding Fantastic Beasts, which I can't stress enough how uninterested in I am. Similarly, I am VERY critical of the world-building JK's done with expanding the universe, particularly with how sloppily she handled other cultures and their relation with her lore and would rather adjust things for our own take, so keep that in mind before contacting me). The main series is mostly set in Hogwarts, so I'd love to do something to explore the Wizarding World as a whole.

  I do also like the idea of a muggle getting wrapped up in wizarding stuff for whatever reason. The main series establishes that there are at least SOME witches and wizards that coexist with muggles, at least enough to have kids that are half-bloods. And again, yeah, I guess the FBaWTFT series does touch on this, but I'd really love to have a regular muggle thrown into the main cast for whatever reason somehow. Maybe they've got a magical relative or something or wizards need a non-magical person for plot related reasons?

  Something to do with prophecies could be very interesting — after seeing all of those prophecies kept under lock in the Ministry (before they were destroyed, at least, lmao), it got me thinking of what the extent of prophecies were and if all of them were as severe as Harry's, or what another prophecy could be. It could be fun to explore something with our own characters in that vein? I've never done a "chosen one" roleplay before, but I'd really love to.

  Basically I just have, like, a ton of very minor threads and ideas I'd like to explore. I enjoy serious/darker plots, so I'd like to have a bigger plot that our characters bleed into! We could throw all of these ideas in a bowl and see what comes from it. None of these thoughts of mine are a prerequisite for contacting me, however. If you've got an idea of your own, I would more than love to hear them.

  If you're the type to just message me saying "I saw your ad and am interested in roleplaying with you." or anything with something like 1-3 lines in your intro, don't bother messaging me at all. I delete any and all messages of the sort. I'm aware that sounds mean. Just introduce yourself to me, what you're interested in or if you have ideas of your own, what your limits are, if you want to do multi-p or novella, and if you've got any pre-established characters or would rather make one for the roleplay. That's it. That's all I ask! Just a basic exchange of info. I can't stress enough that I DO want to make friends and invest myself in our characters, but I've been around the block to know that my style of roleplay and interaction with others doesn't mesh well with anyone who just shoots off a one-lined message in just the initial contact stage alone omfg. I can't believe I have to put this sort of thing in my ads.

  Told you I had a giant ad! Kudos to making it this far. My email is pieronhand@gmail.com. Sorry if you prefer messengers for OOC chit-chat or initial plotting, I strictly use email for everything! I don't know where to fit this in anywhere else, but I am ghost friendly. I've been ghosted enough in the past that it doesn't really phase me too much anymore, so don't get hung up if you've skirted out of a roleplay with me in the past and want to rekindle something or start anew.

[hannahindie]

Memory Foam and Fever Dreams

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester (brief) Word Count: 2,862 Warnings: Sickness, Leslie Knope inspired fever sequence, and Dean being a gosh dang cutie. It’s a lot of fluff. A/N: I wrote this for two reasons: One, because @trexrambling requested fluff, and when my writing soulmate requests something (especially after I have continuously destroyed with angst) she gets it. Second, I am stupidly and embarassingly late on @impalaimagining’s 5K Follower celebration because Tumblr ate it and then I got distracted. Congrats on the followers, although I’m sure by now you’ve far surpassed that number. lol My Friends’ quote is bolded within the fic. Have some cute, fluffy Dean before I change my mind.

Thanks to @pinknerdpanda for beta’ing all my fluffy words. You’re the best, bean. :) “ Eeeeeekkkk!!!! Hldyoepufpuehlkgdljdogdlhdlhd!!!!! I love it!!!”

As always, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know. :)

Dean wandered into the kitchen, his hair bedraggled as he drug a hand across his still sleep hazed eyes. The smell of coffee had been what had drug him out of his room after two days of near hibernation. The past week and a half had been rough; what started out as a simple salt and burn became annoyingly difficult due to the amount of rain the area had been getting. Just when they thought they were going to have some time off, a vamp nest cropped up on the way home, and then a demon possession. Although they had taken care of all three things and did so in almost record time, they had barely slept. Dean groaned as he stretched, his joints reminding him that he was getting too old for all this.

He smiled as he caught sight of Y/N moving around the kitchen, her hair piled on the top of her head in a messy bun as she cooked breakfast. He shuffled over to the coffee pot, grabbed a mug, and carefully poured the life giving liquid. “Mornin’,” he mumbled, grunting as he planted himself carefully at the table.

“Morning.” Y/N’s response was short and Dean raised an eyebrow.

“What’s your deal?” he asked as he took a sip of coffee.

Y/N turned to face him and shrugged, “Just tired, I guess.” She laid a napkin and a fork in front of him, and Dean could feel the heat coming off of her.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you might have a fever. C’mere.” He sat his mug down and gestured for her to come back.

She shook her head, “I’m fine, okay? I just need some more sleep. I’ll take a nap later.” She turned back to the oven, and Dean didn’t miss how she grasped the counter for a moment as if she was trying to keep her balance.

“Seriously, Y/N, maybe you should sit down-”

“I’m fine!” she snapped as she slammed a plate on the counter and started loading it up with eggs and bacon. She turned and Dean could see the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead. She stepped forward to put his breakfast on the table, and before he could say or do anything else, her eyebrows knitted together as she tilted forward, “I think I might not be fine…” The plate hit the floor with a crash and Dean managed to catch her before she fell.

“Oh, shit, Y/n!” He brushed the hair from her face and jerked his hand back when he touched her burning skin. “Jesus...Sam! Sammy! I could use your help!” He gently lowered her to the cool tile, then yelled again, “Sam! Hurry up!” He heard Sam’s heavy steps echoing through the bunker as he hurried to the kitchen and slid to a stop in front of them.

“What the hell?” He knelt next to Dean and put his hand to Y/N’s forehead, “She’s burning up!”

“I noticed, Sam.” He gently picked her up and began making his way to the garage, “Grab her bag, and get my wallet from my jeans, would ya? We gotta get her to the hospital.” Sam ran back towards the bedrooms, and Dean cradled Y/N carefully to his chest as he carried her to the car.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and she narrowed her eyes at the sterile smell that assaulted her nostrils.

“What the hell?” her voice came out as a croak, just loud enough to disturb the sleeping lump sprawled lazily in the chair next to her.

Dean sat up with a jerk, “You’re awake.” He rubbed the heel of his hand across his eyes, then blinked sleepily at her.

“Of course I’m awake, where am I? What am I doing here?” She started to swing her legs over the side of the bed, and Dean gently rested his hand against her shoulder to stop her.

“Hey, whoa there tiger, you’re in the hospital. You’re really sick. I guess the past couple of hunts took it out of you.”

She shook her head, “Nope, I’m fine. I need to get back to the bunker, there’s research to do.” She fumbled with the IV line, grimacing as she tried to yank it out of her hand. Dean put his hand over hers and she glared at him.

“You aren’t going anywhere, kiddo. You had a temperature of a hundred and four when we got you in here, and it’s not gone down yet. You have to stay.”

“You aren’t my real mom!” she yelled as she finally managed to yank out the IV and slid off the bed and towards the door.

“Well, I mean, that’s true, but you don’t have to yell about it.” He crossed in front of her and put his arm across the door to block her path. “You’re dehydrated, they’re afraid that this flu could turn into pneumonia, and they’ve got you on enough drugs it should have knocked out an elephant. Should have known you’d be too damn hard headed to let that happen.”

“If you don’t get out of my way, Dean Winchester, I’m gonna tell Sam about you usin’ his toothbrush to clean the toilet.”

Dean looked at her with wide eyes, “How did you know I did that?”

She waved her hand vaguely, “A girl never reveals her secrets. Now lemme go.” She pushed past him and wandered down the hall towards the exit.  Dean burst out laughing when he realized the back of her gown was open.

“Well, she’s sure revealing something,” he said with a grin as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a couple of pictures. After getting what he thought was the appropriate amount of blackmail photos, he went back into the room to get Y/N’s bag and clothes, then dialed Sam.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Sammy. She’s going AWOL, so if you could just pull up front, that would be great.” He stepped back into the hallway and chuckled when he saw that Y/N had stopped walking and was having a conversation with a potted plant near the nurses’ station. “We’ll be out there as soon as she quits talking to this plant.”

There was a beat of silence as Sam tried to make sense of what Dean had just said, “Wait, what is she doing? Should she be leaving?”

“No, probably not, but it’s Y/N and she apparently does what she wants. Just pull up front. We’ll be there in a few.” He hung up and slowly approached Y/N, who was stroking the leaves of the artificial plant and asking who its stylist was. “Alright, let's go Poison Ivy, time to get home.”

She frowned, “But I was just making a new friend. Look at her hair! It’s marvelous…” Dean gently pried her fingers from the leaves, smiling at the nurse that was watching with her arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

“I know, sweetheart, but we gotta go. Sam is coming to get us! And that nice lady over there is about thirty seconds from calling psych, okay?” He tugged her

toward the exit, walking behind her so the rest of the hospital didn’t see what God had given her and trying his hardest not to stare himself.

She glared up at him, “Don’t call me sweetheart. You only call Baby that. Or when you’re being con...conde...condensation.”

Dean bit back a smile, “Yea, you’re right, I’m sorry. I’m not...um...I’m not trying to be condensation.” He guided her through the doors to where Sam was waiting, then opened the back door of the Impala and slid in next to her.

Sam looked back at them, concern etched on his face, “Dean, she really needs to stay here...look at her.”

Y/N had fallen into his side, her face flushed and sweaty, and was already beginning to fall asleep.

“I know, but she was causing a bit of a scene. Let’s just get her home, and one of us will go out for a medicine run. It’ll be fine.” Sam sighed, but turned around and pulled the car away from the hospital despite his better judgement. Dean glanced down at Y/N as she wrapped her arm around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine,” he whispered against her hair, then put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her tighter against him.

“Y/N, you've got to lay down, you need rest.” Dean said as he tried to coax her back to bed.

“I’m uncomfortable!” she whined as she swatted at him weakly.

“I know, but Sam will be back with medicine soon and we’ll get you settled in.” Dean brushed the hair out of her eyes, frowning as he felt how hot she still was.

“That's not why I'm uncomfortable, it's this bed.” She flopped onto her side, then rolled back over. “It's not squishy, and it doesn't remember me.” She sat up suddenly, her eyes wide. “I wanna be in your bed. It's got memory foam!”

“I...ummm...well, it's not going to remember you, either. You...you’ve never been in it,” he stuttered.

“I've been in it! We had movie night that one time. It'll remember. Please, Dean?” she pouted at him again and he sighed.

“Fine. But only if you let me carry you down there and you promise you'll stay put.”

She smiled and Dean realized that he'd do anything to get her to smile like that again. “Sure thing, Dean bean. Pinky promise.” She held her pinky up and looped it around his.

“Alright then, come on.” He hooked one arm around her waist and the other under her knees, and she sighed happily as she nuzzled against his shoulder. Dean’s heart sped up at how natural it felt to hold her like this, and how perfectly she fit against him. He made his way down the hall and to his room, where he sat her gently on the floor. “You good?” he asked before releasing his grip on her elbow.

“Yup, perfect.” She watched silently as he folded down the comforter and sheets, then fluffed the pillows so that she could see the television and still be comfortable.

“In you go, kid.” He held the blankets back as she climbed into bed, then pulled them up around her. Once she was settled, he walked over to the sink and grabbed a washcloth which he dampened, then walked back to her. “Here, this might help you feel better. Cool towels always helped with Sam when we were kids.” He swiped it gently across her forehead and she sighed happily.

“That does feel nice,” she sighed.

He smiled and laid it on the nightstand, then handed her the remote, “Pick out whatever you want.” He moved to sit in the chair next to the bed but stopped when he felt her hand slip into his.

“Will you lay here with me?” Dean thought about saying no, wanted to because he knew what would happen if he said yes, but the moment he looked into her wide eyes, his resolve broke.

“Yea...umm...sure, I'll lay with you.” He laid on the outside of the comforter, but she snuggled into him anyway and began flipping through his Netflix list. He slipped his arm around her, and before she was able to pick anything to watch, she fell fast asleep. Dean thought about sliding out from under her, but as she gripped tightly to his shirt, he found that he didn't want to. Instead, he picked out a random show, leaned his head back, and let himself doze off to the low murmur of the television and the warmth of Y/N at his side.

Sam quietly stood in the doorway to Dean’s room, a smile playing on his lips as he watched Y/N and his brother sleep. They’d been dancing around their feelings for weeks, and though he was sure part of the reason for their behavior today was because Y/N had been under the influence of her fever, Sam hoped that this finally got them to realize how they actually felt. He thought about letting them sleep, but Y/N still looked flushed and medicating her finally outweighed letting them both sleep.

He walked over and gently shook Dean’s shoulder, “Dean, wake up. I've got medicine.” Dean’s eyes slowly opened and he groaned as he shifted out from under Y/N.

“I didn't mean to fall asleep.” Dean looked over at Y/N and sighed, “I hate to wake her up, man.”

“I know, but she needs this.” Sam laid the back of his hand against her forehead, “She's not as hot, but she's still got a fever.” He picked up the cool washcloth and ran it across her forehead again, moving her sweat damp hair out of her face. “Hey, Y/N...I've got medicine for you. C’mon, wake up.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled lazily when she saw Sam, “Hullllooooo, Samuel. Lookit you, bein’ all tall. What brings you to my room at this time of night?” She gasped, “What if Dean saw you in here? He'd wonder if there's shenanigans. He can't think there are shenanigans, or he won't love me.” Her eyes began to shine with unshed tears and Sam didn't know whether to laugh or be concerned.

“I don't think you need to worry about that, does she Dean?” Sam raised an eyebrow and Dean shook his head.

“Nope, there's no need to worry. Sam’s just here to give you medicine, and then you can go back to sleep.” He was trying not to think of what she'd said; why would it matter if he loved her or not? He watched as Sam pulled out a couple of bottles and helped her take the medicine she needed, then gathered up his supplies and made his way to the door.

“I'll be in the library, I've got some research to do. Let me know if you need anything.” He walked out and Dean shifted as if to follow.

“Will you stay?” Y/N asked quietly. “I sleep better with you here.”

Dean nodded, then resumed his position by Y/N’s side, “Sure thing, kid. Whatever you want.”

She settled back in and quickly fell back to sleep. Dean watched as her chest rose and fell slowly, and without thinking, linked his fingers through hers. He wasn't sure if it was just the fever talking or if she really wanted him, but in the moment, it didn't really matter. He turned his attention to the television and smiled when he felt her fingers tighten around his.

Y/N woke slowly, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. The television was on and the ‘Are you still watching?’ message glowed dully. She realized she was leaning into someone, and looked up to see Dean, his head tilted back against the pillows and his mouth partially open, his light snores the only sound in the room.

She shifted so that she was more upright and realized she wasn't in her room, but Dean’s.

“What the hell?” she croaked quietly, but it was enough to jerk Dean awake.

“What? What's wrong?” he looked around, his eyes wide and alert, then immediately calmed down when he realized Y/N was awake. “Oh, hey, you're up.”

“Yea...but why am I in your room?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember the chain of events that led from this morning to now.

Dean cleared his throat, “Because...well, you wanted memory foam...you said it remembers you.”

“Why does it need to remember me?” She looked down and for the first time, realized they were holding hands. “Oh...ooohhh…what did I say?” Although she seemed embarrassed, Dean felt a flicker of hope when she didn't pull her hand from his.

“Not much...although you were very concerned that if I caught Sam in here, I wouldn't love you,” he said with a small smile.

She groaned and let her head fall back, her eyes closed, “Well, that's embarrassing.”

“Nah, it was cute.” They fell silent, and Dean wondered if he should push his luck. He decided it was worth a shot. “So...umm...do you really care if I...I love you or not?”

She rolled her head so that she could look at him and raised an eyebrow, “Do you want me to care?”

He shrugged, “I mean, I...you don't have to...it doesn't matter. Forget I asked.”

“Well, if I didn't think you'd get the plague, I'd kiss you right now...if that answers your question.”

He smiled at her, then leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I guess that will have to do for now. Good news is, it seems like your fever might be gone.”

Y/N smiled back, then resumed her position tucked into Dean’s side, “I suppose that means I can properly answer you later.”

Dean chuckled, “Sounds like a plan, kid. Sounds like a plan.”

Like what you see? Would you like to read more? Check out my master list HERE!

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23  @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbateshotel53 @easelweasel @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat

Dean Only: @akshi8278 @valkyrieslament @lavieenlex @highonpastries

[aion-rsa]

Cyberpunk 2077 Patch 1.2 Fixes Problems You Didn’t Know Existed

https://ift.tt/39mYjY8

The Cyberpunk 2077 team has revealed the full patch notes for the game’s recently released 1.2 update and all we can say is “wow.”

There’s no use trying to breakdown the entirety of this patch since it contains over 500 updates, fixes, changes, and improvements. I highly recommend that you check out the (mostly) full rundown of the update if you’ve been waiting for that massive Cyberpunk 2077 patch that will finally make the game significantly more playable. This won’t be Cyberpunk 2077‘s last update, but it feels like the first of the game’s updates that are trying to do more than just put out the biggest fires.

If you’re looking for the highlights, though, then I’ve got you covered. Here are the best, biggest, and weirdest patch notes that I’ve found in the Cyberpunk 2077 1.2 update so far.

Cyberpunk 2077 Patch 1.2 Notes: The “WTF?” Fixes

“Player can no longer cancel fall damage by performing a slide action when about to fall from greater heights.”

If you’re like me, this is one of those things that you didn’t even realize was possible in Cyberpunk 2077 but now desperately want to try. Based on some videos that I’ve seen of this technique, it’s actually possible to survive some insane falls via this method but your survival is based on the specifics of the fall itself and your mastery of the technique. Honestly, they should just turn this technique into an official in-game modification ability.

“It is no longer possible to perform Gorilla Arms finishers against civilians.”

Cyberpunk 2077‘s latest patch notes make it clear that civilians in Night City have it kind of rough. I’m not entirely sure what the basis of this particular change is, but I kind of hope that they put it in there just to give the poor people of Night City a break by not letting you beat them to death quite so easily with your mechanical fists.

“Extending the sliding ladder won’t result in player’s death if they are below it.”

I’ve never actually seen this happen in Cyberpunk 2077, but the fact that it could happen is downright hilarious. Super-powered characters being killed by tiny bumps in video games is a guilty pleasure of mine, and I love the idea of being killed simply because your character is too stubborn to move out of the way of a ladder.

“It is no longer possible to use guns near the arcades during the Raymond Chandler Evening fistfight. // You can no longer pull an Indiana Jones in El Coyote Cojo.”

Ok, I’m actually a little upset by this one. As pointed out in the patch notes, it’s actually kind of hilarious that this was possible as it plays into the player choice element of the game. You could argue that too many of these glitches add up to be more than an amusing annoyance, but I think this one might have been funny enough to leave in the game in some form.

“Fixed multiple issues during sex scenes”

CD Projekt Red doesn’t give any additional details about this patch note, but I really wish they would. Just how many issues were there in these sex scenes? I’ve heard some people say the animations used in these scenes were awkward (which is true), but I’ve also heard reports that players were falling through floors and clipping through objects during those sensual moments. I’m sure fans will waste no time telling us everything that’s different about them when this update hits.

“Kerry’s bathrobe is no longer incorrectly attached to his lower part of the body.”

I had to look this one up, and I’m glad I did. It seems that Kerry’s bathrobe suffered from this strange glitch that made the bottom of it operate independently from the rest. I have no idea what causes it, but it kind of looks like it’s accounting for the proportions of a gentleman with much wider hips. Check it out for yourself:

“Fixed incorrect censorship when playing a copy of the game from a region other than Japan while the console region is set to Japan or language to Japanese.”

This isn’t the strangest patch note, but it’s one I didn’t know about. Apparently, the Japanese version of Cyberpunk 2077 censors some of the sex scenes and a few of the more violent moments. I’m genuinely curious how many people were accidentally playing the censored version of the game due to this issue and didn’t even realize it.

“Fixed an issue where pedestrians could get teleported after being hit by a vehicle.”

I still just want to know where those civilians went from both a design and lore perspective. I’m imagining that there’s a pile of civilian bodies lying around somewhere like at the end of The Prestige.

“In The Pickup, it’s no longer possible to trigger both scenarios at the same time: a peaceful deal with Maelstrom and fighting them.”

Cyberpunk 2077 Patch 1.2 Notes: The Oddly Specific Fixes

“Fixed an issue where dumping a body in the trunk started the vehicle’s engine.”

Ok, I ran into this one several times during my Cyberpunk 2077 journey and just convinced myself that it was a feature. At the very least, I feel like Elon Musk may make a car that automatically starts when it detects a body in the trunk for the convenience of the evil billionaire with goons on the go.

“The TV in Tom’s Diner can no longer be destroyed. If a player destroyed it before this update it will now be fixed and the news will be displayed correctly to progress Playing for Time.”

I also didn’t know this was possible, but it’s hilarious to imagine a player going around and destroying every TV in town only to find that they can no longer progress through the game as a result of their actions. Honestly, who discovered this one?

“Fixed an issue that caused NPCs to trip over other NPCs too often.”

It’s the “too often” part of this one that gets me. Who determined that the amount of NPC tripping going on was well beyond the acceptable parameters for such a thing?

“Fixed a rare scenario where the painting wouldn’t appear in the drop pod in Space Oddity/Space Oddity no longer spawns multiple paintings blocking the quest’s progress.”

I love the idea of largely useless paintings causing so many problems during one of Cyberpunk 2077‘s biggest missions. You just get the feeling that this is the little problem that made the team realize what a mess Cyberpunk 2077 was at launch.

“Fixed an issue where A Like Supreme could get blocked if player rushed to the toilet to take a pill before finishing a conversation with Nancy.”

This one just brings to mind a million instances in open-world games where you realize that QA testers should consist of trolls and video game speedrunners who are able to find absolutely every little thing you can do to ruin a game.

“Car lights will no longer stay on after the car battery dies in Ghost Town.”

How far down the list was this particular problem? Either this is a sign that the team is ready to move on to more minor fixes or this problem was a particular sticking point with someone on the team.

Cyberpunk 2077 Patch 1.2 Notes: The Cat-Related Fixes

“Cat food needed to adopt Nibbles can now be bought at several food shops around Night City”

While I actually like the idea of specific items only being available in specific shops in Night City, the fact of the matter is that Nibbles doesn’t have time for such role-playing concepts. Nibbles needs food, Nibbles needs love, and Nibbles needs it on their time, not yours.

“Fixed an issue in Nocturne Op55N1 where petting the cat would play without dialogue. // V will now properly address the cat, even without Misty’s answer.”

You WILL properly address Nibbles, V. Thank you to the Cyberpunk team for fixing such a glaring omission. Clearly, this is the reason why the game was delisted from the PlayStation Store.

Read more

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By John Saavedra

Cyberpunk 2077 Patch 1.2 Notes: The Welcome Fixes to Strange Problems

“Fixed an issue where V could get stuck in empty buildings when exiting a vehicle parked close to a wall.”

This one happened way more often than it ever should have. This scenario is also common enough to really make you wonder how this problem escaped the testing process.

“Jackie no longer shouts ‘Nice shot!’ when V kills enemies while in stealth mode.”

Truth be told, I actually kind of love that Jackie couldn’t hide his enthusiasm during these instances, but it’s hard to deny that his piercing shouts did kind of ruin the immersion of these moments.

“Collisions will no longer fail to stream in randomly during driving, which could lead to V driving into buildings and falling out of the world.”

I get that Cyberpunk 2077 isn’t supposed to be GTA, but it sure will be nice to be able to collide with something without having to worry about disappearing into the void where those civilian bodies go.

“NPCs will no longer stay blocked on traffic lanes while in fear.”

Cyberpunk‘s poor NPCs will finally be able to move out of the middle of traffic which is good for you, good for them, and good for the city’s cleanup crew who have seen too many horrors.

“NPC hit by a car will now immediately run in panic/Added different animation variations for pedestrians running away from a vehicle.”

Some saw this problem as a sign that Night City’s NPCs just don’t care, but I think these patch notes make it clear that they wanted to run away and just didn’t have the ability to. It’s a real “have no mouth and must scream” scenario.

“V’s hands are now correctly displayed on a steering wheel while driving”

V gets a few animation fixes in this upcoming patch, but this is one of my favorites. I don’t know why it was so difficult to properly animate V using a steering wheel, but I’m glad we’re moving past the days when you’ve got to wonder what the character’s hands are supposed to be doing.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Cyberpunk 2077 Patch 1.2 Fixes Problems You Didn’t Know Existed appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2O50Hv9

[pebble-xo]

The Secret (9)

prologue; part one; part two; part three; part four; part five; part six; part seven; part eight; part nine; part ten; part eleven; part twelve; part thirteen; epilogue.

Baekhyun could feel his heartbeat pounding hard against his chest, loud and fast as he slowly weaved through the chairs towards you and a shy Zoe. He’d never felt this nervous for anything in his life, not even when he debuted and performed at his first showcase with the rest of EXO. He didn’t want to mess this up: his daughter was too important and this was his chance to make up for the years he’d lost.

He introduced himself cheerfully, trying not to let his nerves shine through his voice. He flashed his daughter a bright smile that he hoped would comfort her a little. On the inside however, his stomach was doing somersaults.

“I’m your dad.”

It felt weird to call himself a dad and have it be so literal. He was used to calling himself a father to his fans but that was more humorous. Calling himself Zoe’s father was serious and he wanted to make sure he did everything he could to make himself worthy of being called it.

His heart swelled as Zoe looked up at him with big brown eyes, revealing herself from her hiding spot at the base of your neck. “It’s nice to meet you too,” she mumbled quietly, holding out a tiny hand for him to shake.

Reaching out, he folded his slender hand around hers and shook it gently. “Your mummy told me that you’re secretly a princess,” he mentioned, flickering his gaze up to you and giving you a wink before he crouched a little and became face to face with Zoe. “So I bought you a little present that only princesses are allowed to have.” He’d spent all day shopping, trying to find the perfect gift to help bridge the gap between you both.

It worked. Zoe lifted her head up and loosened her hold on you. “A present?” she asked curiously, a little smile pulling the corners of her lips up.

“Do you want to see?” Baekhyun replied, stepping to the side and holding his hand out for her to hold. He held his breath and fixed his lips in a smile while he waited to see if Zoe would want to come with him.

When she wriggled out of your grip, indicating that she wanted to be put down, Baekhyun let out a sharp exhale and felt a wave of relief wash over him, taming his nerves but only a little. With Zoe on her own two feet, she slipped her tiny hand into his and let him lead the way to the table in the middle where he’d left the present. He helped her up onto one of the chairs and sat next to her, sliding the gift box over to her.

With bright and excited eyes, she pulled the bow off and lifted the lid, revealing the pale blue Cinderella dress he had picked out earlier. “Oh wow! It’s Cinderella’s dress!” she exclaimed loudly, climbing up so she was standing on her chair. She pulled the dress out and held it up against her body. “Look Mummy! A real princess dress,” she squealed, turning to show you the dress.

You were stood a little back, your arms folded across your chest and your eyes warily watching the scene between Baekhyun and his daughter. “It’s very pretty Zoe!” you proclaimed enthusiastically, the corners of your lips shooting upwards in a big smile. “Make sure to say thank you,” you added as a warning.

Zoe turned back to Baekhyun with the biggest smile on her face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cheered, bouncing precariously on the chair. “Can I put it on now?” Her gaze flickered between Baekhyun and you, unsure of who she needed permission from.

Baekhyun didn’t think he had any liberty to give Zoe what she wanted so he looked over at you expectantly.

Sighing softly, you unfolded your arms and approached the table. “Let’s go to the toilets and put it on,” you told her with a little smile, taking her hand so she could jump down safely.

“I can do it myself,” she cried loudly, skipping off the toilets by herself and leaving you and Baekhyun in uncomfortable silence.

You wavered for a second, looking at the floor and then the table before finally taking a seat in front of Baekhyun. “You didn’t need to do all of this,” you told him quietly, eyes scanning around the empty kids’ café. “What did you do? Buy the café?” A little laugh followed under your breath until you caught Baekhyun’s eye and balked at his serious expression.

“I only rented it for the evening,” he justified, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “I thought it would be a better way to get to know her, without crowds and other children getting in the way.” In the back of his mind, he was wary of people recognising him, posting things online and attracting unwanted attention when all he wanted to do was get to know his daughter. The media was an unfortunate part of his life: he didn’t want to expose Zoe to it too.

A warm smile crept up on your face and brightened up the whole room for Baekhyun. “Just be your normal crazy self and make sure you drink all of your pretend tea,” you joked, dropping your head to hide your laugh behind your hair.

Suddenly, Zoe made an appearance from the corridor that led to the toilets with the dress stuck over her head. “Mummy!” she whined, jumping up and down impatiently. “It’s stuck!”

All Baekhyun could do was sit back and watch as you jumped into action and hurried over like a caring mother. Would he ever be as good a father?

###

You sat back pushing a warm mug of tea between your fingers, watching Baekhyun chase your daughter around the soft play area with a big smile on your face. It was a sight you never thought you’d get to see - your daughter and her father laughing and playing together. It made you feel stupid that you had been so worried. The pair of them were already as thick as thieves.

They’d had a big tea party with Mr Snuggles. Baekhyun heeded your warning and drank all of his pretend tea, however he also stole the last pretend cupcake which made Zoe sulk until he asked one of the workers at the café for a special chocolate doughnut. Then they played around in the ball pit, burying each other with balls, hiding at the bottom of the pit and jumping out loudly, throwing the balls at each other until Baekhyun surrendered and admitted defeat. Now they were climbing through the maze of tunnels and shooting down the slide together.

You however were happy to just sit at the side and watch the whole thing from afar. Zoe was having so much fun and yes, you wanted to be a part of it but this was Baekhyun’s time. This was his moment to forge that bond with his daughter that you already had from raising her for five years.

However, you realised how late it was and although Baekhyun could play all night (you remembered that part of him vividly), Zoe’s bedtime was creeping closer. And no one liked a tired Zoe.

Finishing your tea in one big gulp, you got to your feet and leaned over the safety fence just as Baekhyun and Zoe came giggling down the slide together. “Zoe, can you find Mr Snuggles? It’s nearly your bedtime,” you told her as a matter of fact, preparing yourself for the mini tantrum that would follow.

“But MUM!” she wailed dramatically, collapsing to the floor with a pout on her lips. “I’m not even tired. Can’t we just stay for half an hour more?” She looked up at you with her big brown eyes, pleading you for a little bit longer.

However, this wasn’t your first rodeo. “You can ride the slide three more times but then I want you and Mr Snuggles by the door ready to go, ok?”

Zoe was quickly smiling and scrambling to her feet. “Can Baekhyun come too?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist and clearly taking him by surprise. “Pretty please! I really want him to read me a bedtime story.”

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you lifted your eyes from Zoe’s pleading eyes and found the same twinkle in Baekhyun’s. He was looking at you with the same hopeful look he used to give you many times at school. You struggled to say no back then (that’s probably how Zoe came to be) and now they were both using the same look, worming their way into your heart and destroying any resolve you had left.

“Only if you promise to go straight to sleep afterwards,” you answered, giving her your best stern look.

“I promise,” she squealed excitedly, holding out her baby finger for you to link with yours. Then she sped off back through another tunnel to hopefully find Mr Snuggles.

Baekhyun was staring at you with a bright smile, his face glistening with a thin layer of sweat. “Thank you for this,” he said quietly, dabbing the back of his hand across his forehead. “It really means a lot to me.”

“I never wanted to deprive you of a relationship with Zoe,” you replied honestly, offering him a weak smile of your own. “But now that you’ve made one, it’s up to you not to break her heart.” The last thing you wanted was for Zoe to be sat waiting for Baekhyun when he was off being an idol. He was a father now too and that meant he had a responsibility to his daughter as well.

“Never,” he murmured softly, picking your hand up from your side and squeezing it tight before going to find Zoe … all the while leaving you with a pounding heart and a head filled with dizzying emotions.

###

Baekhyun was an expert at bedtime stories. He gave all the characters their own special voices, reading the words dramatically with the all the emotions necessary – a true performer. Zoe loved it too, smiling and laughing as Baekhyun revealed that the dragon had learnt how to breathe fire all by himself. With a loud roar into the air, he dropped the book on his lap and turned his attention to Zoe, tickling his nimble fingers up and down her sides.

Sensing that Baekhyun was probably going to get your daughter all hyped up again, making it harder to get her to go to sleep, you peeled yourself off from your spot on the doorframe and stepped in. “Ok little one, time to say goodnight to Baekhyun,” you told her firmly, turning off the big lamp in the corner.

In the faint hue of Zoe’s nightlight, you watched Zoe throw her little arms around Baekhyun’s waist tightly. “Can we play again soon?” she asked innocently, looking up at him probably with the same puppy dog expression she used on you.

“Of course,” he replied instantly, smoothing her hair back off her face and cupping her cheek with his gentle touch. “I will look at when I have a day off and we will go and do something fun,” he promised, flashing his brilliant smile.

This was exactly what Zoe wanted to hear as she buried her face in his chest and squeezed him in her tightest hug. “Goodnight Daddy,” she murmured shyly, letting go quickly and hiding her face behind Mr Snuggles.

Baekhyun was frozen on the spot for a moment, taken back by Zoe and her words. It was cute to watch the dumbfounded expression on his face before he snapped back to reality and got up from the bed. “Sleep tight Zoe,” he murmured softly, stroking his hand through her hair and then stepping back.

Tucking your hair behind your ear, you pulled Zoe’s blanket up to her chin and moved Mr Snuggles to the side so you could see her face, kissing each of her rosy cheeks. “What are you going to dream about tonight then little one?” you asked, crouching down by the side of her bed.

Zoe pursed her lips and wiggled them from side to side cutely. “Me, you and Daddy riding unicorns along a rainbow,” she answered after a second of deliberation, making sure Mr Snuggles was under the covers too.

“It sounds magical,” you told her softly, giving her a warm smile as she closed her eyes and then dimming her nightlight. “Sweet dreams little one.”

When you stood up, you saw Baekhyun looking at you with a scrutinising stare, the corners of his lips pulled up. You gave him a confused look, wishing you could tell what he was thinking, but he shook his head and led the way out of Zoe’s bedroom. Once you closed the door gently, you turned to Baekhyun, suddenly nervous of it just being the two of you. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

“That would be nice,” he replied politely. It was too polite, like Baekhyun was trying too hard. You didn’t like it but it was probably all your fault. You lied to him and that probably meant that your friendship was over. The only reason he was sticking around was for Zoe.

Moving past him, you headed into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on, opening cupboards to prepare two mugs of tea. Meanwhile Baekhyun was leaning against your breakfast bar, looking around your small apartment with curious eyes. “It’s a nice place you have here,” he commented idly, attempting to make small talk.

“It’s a lot smaller than the place we lived in before but it’s cheaper,” you said with a shrug, trying to remember where you hid the sugar when you caught Zoe sprinkling it on her cereal that morning.

Baekhyun turned around to face you in the kitchen, leaning across the counter. “Were you living with your parents all this time?” he asked, propping his head up on his elbows while he watched you move around the kitchen.

You shook your head, laughing a little under your breath. “My parents actually kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant,” you told him, peeking up through your hair to see his mouth had fallen open in shock. “They wanted nothing to do with me or Zoe and still don’t now. I moved in with my grandfather and he took care of us, helping me get a job with the local newspaper and supporting us financially. Without him, I don’t know where we’d be.” Flipping your hair back out of your face, you found the sugar hidden in the cupboard with the saucepans.

As you brushed past the breakfast bar, Baekhyun caught your hand and interlaced his fingers with yours, freezing you in your step. “That must have been so hard for you,” he acknowledged quietly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles before he let you go. For a second, your head felt dizzy and scrambled. You expected Baekhyun to be angry still that you didn’t tell him anything when you were pregnant, but instead he was sorry for you?

“I like to think Zoe was worth it,” you responded, spooning some sugar in into your tea just as the kettle came to the boil. “Waking up to her smiling and laughing made the days easier.” You stirred the water in and passed the mug to Baekhyun, remembering that he liked his tea a certain way.

“What was she like as a baby?” Baekhyun inquired curiously, swirling the tea bag around before leaving it to sink to the bottom of the mug. “Do you have any photos?”

Taking your tea with you, you moved into the living room and started rooting around in the drawers underneath the TV. “I have an album somewhere,” you muttered quietly, eventually finding it at the bottom of the drawer. You sat next to Baekhyun on the sofa, an awkward and unnatural gap between the pair of you. “I scrapbooked everything,” you justified sheepishly, sliding the album into his lap.

He opened up on the first page and it was like a wave of nostalgia hit you straight in the face. You’d attached your first ultrasound picture of Zoe, along with her hospital band and photos your grandfather had taken of you both at the hospital. Baekhyun looked at them with his mouth completely open, his eyes filled with wonder as they traced over the photos with such focus.

“She was so small,” he marvelled, dipping his head closer to the album to have a look.

You laughed, thinking back to Zoe’s painful birth through a cloud of drugs. “Still big enough to hurt,” you retorted, taking a large gulp of tea while Baekhyun moved to the next page.

In the five years of Zoe’s life so far, you had documented everything you could, from the first time she ate a mushed up banana and managed to get the majority of it in her hair, to the first time she stood up without holding onto anything and then fell straight on her bottom with an audible thud. Every first, every last, you tried to capture each memory. And as you watched Baekhyun flick through the pages, studying each photo with pure amazement on his face, you realised that unconsciously you may have been making this album for him, for the moment when he found out about his daughter and wanted to see what he missed.

“Where’s this from?” Baekhyun questioned, tilting the album in your direction and pointing at a single photograph.

Placing your tea on the coffee table, you moved closer to Baekhyun for a better look, almost brushing up against him. The photo he was pointing at was one of you and Zoe at the peak of a mountain surrounded by beautiful pink flowers. “Goryeosan,” you told him, already smiling at the memories of your hike to the top of the mountain. “I think Zoe was three and she said she wanted to go somewhere she could touch a rainbow so we hiked to the peak one weekend.”

Your fingers traced over the photo of you with Zoe in her harness on your back, in front of a million pink flowers and the clear pale blue sky. “I really wished I had taken my paints that day. The scenery was so perfect; it would have made a great painting,” you mused quietly.

“You haven’t given up on painting, have you? You were so talented at school,” Baekhyun exclaimed dramatically, making you jump a little and look up at his handsome face.

His eyes were the first thing you noticed, warm mocha orbs that drooped in the edges like a little puppy. His dark hair was scattered messily across his forehead, making him appear younger, more like the boy you went to school with. Your gaze moved down his nose, noting the individual moles dotting his left cheek and the edge of his lips. His soft beautiful lips. You could still remember how it felt to have them pressed up against yours, to have them brush along your sensitive skin as Baekhyun worked to set your nerve endings alight.

Gulping hard, you flickered your gaze from his eyes to his lips, feeling dizzy as his sweet aftershave washed over you. “I wouldn’t say ‘given up’, just focused on Zoe first,” you murmured a little breathlessly, trailing off as your eyes settled on his lips.

And then you were kissing him. Any gap between the pair of you was closed in an instant and the touch of his lips pushed up against yours was all you could feel. You didn’t know exactly what was going through your head but he hadn’t shoved you away. In fact his hands had weaved their way to the back of your head so he could cradle your face with the gentlest of touches. It was bliss, just like you remembered all those years ago from your secret meetings.

Forbidden bliss ... and yet so tantalising.

While your lips moved familiarly against his, your tongue fighting with his as you traced his plump bottom lip, your hands felt their way up his neck to the base of his head where your fingers could wrap themselves around little tufts of hair. He leaned in closer, wanting more. The movement caught you off guard and you fell back a little too far, losing your grip on him and landing ungracefully on the pile of cushions on your sofa, lips still puckered.

Baekhyun’s eyes raked your body, his expression giving nothing away. Then he abruptly jumped to his feet, his hand pushing the hair off his forehead while he looked around the room. “I’m sorry,” he breathed almost inaudibly, spotting his coat on the breakfast bar and moving to collect it. “I’ll uh … I’ll text you … about when my next day off is.”

You gathered yourself quickly, getting to your feet and tucking your hair back behind your ears. “B-B-Baekhyun?” you stuttered dizzily, watching him back towards the door without meeting your eye.

“I’m sorry,” he confessed, and then he looked up at you and you could see the guilt in his eyes. It froze you on the spot, unable to move and follow him. Instead you were resigned to watching him leave, the door slamming shut with a note of finality that echoed through your apartment.

[masterlist]

[month9books]

Riverdale Recap and Review - Season 1 - Chapter 8 - The Outsiders by Andrew Buckley

There quite literally is not one happy marriage happening in Riverdale. Maybe it’s the water, maybe it’s the maple syrup, maybe it’s the disturbing amount of redheads . . . but relationships are not meant to survive in that town. Tensions ran high in this episode with double crosses and back alley deals happening all over the place. Riverdale is a dangerous place to live. But they do have Skeet Ulrich, so there’s that. Let’s get to it . . .

How many times can you reference abortion without actually saying the word ‘abortion’? I counted five times, but I may have missed one. I’m assuming it’s a CW censorship thing, but I was surprised they had to avoid the word as it’s absence made it all the more obvious, but I suppose that was the point. This week, Mr. Cooper became oh so much darker than just some guy who breaks into the Sheriff’s house to steal his murder wall. He’s harboring such a hatred for the Blossoms that he actually wanted his daughter to abort the baby. The guy is certainly carrying enough hate to push him over to the darkside, but his banishment from the Cooper household says a lot more about Alice Cooper (the blonde chick, not the guy who used to bite heads off chickens on stage) than it does about him. Mrs. Cooper has always seemed so controlled in her insanity, however we certainly saw some cracks as she tries to deal with the Blossom family now trying to steal her daughter, while also revealing her own shadowy past, also at the hands of her husband. There goes another Riverdale marriage.

Polly herself is still severely lacking as a character and I think it’s partly due to us not really knowing her. The reason we care so much about who killed Jason, and not about Jason himself is because we never got a chance to know him. All we really know is he had terribly fake-looking red hair and apparently he was a mute. The same almost goes for Polly. We met her at the mental asylum where she was hysterical and she hasn’t really calmed down since. Okay, so the father of her child was murdered, her dad tried to have her abort her baby, the father’s family want to keep the baby, her parents sent her to a mental asylum, and now she’s back, there’s a power struggle over this child who will undoubtedly have fake-looking red hair. Okay, fine. She has every right to be hysterical. Unfortunately, her lack of grounding as a character is making it really hard to sympathize with her. Maybe that’ll change now she’s a member of the Blossom household. By making the choice to join the Blossoms, she’s effectively shunning her own family. And who can blame her?

Speaking of the Blossoms, let’s take a moment to appreciate just how awesome Granny Blossom is. Come on, that crazy old lady is great. Part horror story cliche, part gypsy, part crypt keeper. She keeps getting better and better.

Fred Andrews and his business woes seeped throughout most of the story this episode. With the Blossoms wanting to buy the old movie theatre land, and Mr. Lodge being the secret buyer, and Hermione knowing this but not telling Fred, we can clearly see another relationship is about to go down the toilet. It all makes for interesting TV though, so who cares? Fred confronting Clifford Blossom was a nice scene but it felt a little empty with Fred not really having a good threat to come back with. Too bad he doesn’t have a biker gang working for him . . . oh wait.

It was a touching moment when Archie and his pals came out to work for his dad, even more so when Fred and Archie have their heart to heart in the kitchen later. While I didn’t love this episode as much as past ones, I did love this scene. And it wasn’t just Luke Perry’s sincere delivery, it was the balancing out of Fred and Archie’s relationship. While Archie’s legacy speech was a bit on the flawed side, the messaging was still solid and the Andrews boys still represent a united front that doesn’t appear to exist anywhere else in town. This is of course after Fred tries to solve the problems he’s experiencing himself, and Archie walks into a biker bar. We’ve yet to see Mary Andrews but we know she’s coming (bring it on Molly Ringwald), so we’ll likely see that balanced father/son relationship shaken again very soon.

Skeet freakin Ulrich as Jughead’s dad is fast becoming one of my favourite characters. After we saw all his misgivings in the last episode, it was nice to see him find a bit of redemption here. His volunteering information to Jughead and Betty regarding Jason and then rounding up a crew to help out Fred proves that Mr. Jones isn’t all that bad of a guy. Well, except for him having Jason’s jacket, and that he uses teenagers to sell drugs, oh and he’s the leader of a violent biker gang, and that he has Joaquin (who I’m still saying is Jason’s murderer) cozy up to the delightful Kevin . . . so yeah, never mind, he’s a bad guy.

STORY FLAW ALERT! - Mr. Jones tells Hermione that it was likely Mr. Lodge who had people disrupt the construction site and beat up Moose. He blames it on Hermione getting frisky with Fred and someone ratted her out (Veronica, clearly Veronica) and that the incident was part of a jealous attack? On property he owns? Disrupting the building of his weird hipster community housing? Where he stands to make a lot of money? And didn’t Clifford Blossom all but admit to being the culprit in order to bleed the owner of the land dry? Something isn’t adding up there but maybe it’s all a bunch of red herrings. Or trout. Or whatever fish happens to be native to Riverdale.

This was a setup episode, inserted so we can get from here to there. The Jason story got moved along with Mr. Jones and Joaquin (the murderer) hiding the jacket. Polly moving in with the Addams family effectively destroys the ‘Stepford Family’ archetype that the Coopers had been trying to project. Fred and Mr. Jones getting the band back together means it’s being setup to be broken apart again later. And the looming threat of Mr. Lodge stretched its shadowy tendrils a little bit further.

Next week sees the return of Ethel (finally!), though it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting an answer to the burning question on everyone’s mind: Where is Hotdog?

Until next week . . .

STRAY THOUGHTS OF AWESOMENESS . . .

- Valerie was there, but . . . not really there? True, there wasn’t much room for development of Varchie? Valerchie? Archerie? (we’ll need to work on that) Hopefully we’ll be able to see more of that relationship over the coming weeks.

- Same goes for Bughead. Not the best way to start a relationship, amid a murder investigation and a crazy pregnant sister, though we’d still like to see some development happening here. And more than just ‘yeah, my Dad’s a biker’.

- Sheriff Keller - Absolutely terrible at his job. Fortunately for him, he appears to be the only law enforcement agent in all of Riverdale so he’s got great job security.

- Was anyone else hoping that Moose would lay some smack down on those two guys? I mean, c’mon, he’s Moose!

- Archie and Jughead’s ‘bro moment’ was underwhelmed by the lack of conflict. Archie got a little angry, Jughead got a little sad, and then all was well again.

- I kinda love how much Kevin loves the Lodges. From his awe over Veronica’s party invites to complementing Hermione’s shoes. Yeah he’s a walking gay stereotype, but he’s adorable.

About Andrew: 

Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN. He works as an editor for Curiosity Quills Press.

Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on his next novel, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with three kids, one cat, one needy dog, one beautiful wife, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.

Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Goodreads

[olwog]

A Postcard From York, there are some rude words in this one; actually, the words are not rude but some of the syllables may be viewed as a little extreme!

Now I have your undivided attention, off we go.

“Can you lead the York walk next week?”, It’s a text from George Preston, our sub-governor who’s been doing a sterling job keeping the boys in line whilst Governor George has been on leave. I’d been working on a walk with The Pilgrim that took in the bridges and also made reference to the flood defences; at the time of planning we had no idea how significant the latter would be.

We meet the boys off the train and make an immediate exit of the station towards the Ouse and Scarborough Bridge. As we emerge from the snicket it’s obvious that the river is well above comfort levels due to the torrential rain that had hogged the majority of the day on Wednesday. The drains and culverts of York had done what was expected on the day and there were few issues; however, the cloud burst had added to the already drenched moors and it was this that was peaking as we approached.

Scarborough Bridge is the appropriately named bridge that carries the Eastern Branch Line that connects the Main North South line running through York to Scarborough. It was built in 1845 and was the second bridge to be erected over the Ouse in York. It originally carried two tracks and a walkway that was sited between them, clearly, there was still an element of bravado where humans and the smoke and steam belching iron horses of those years could live in such close proximity. Walking between two main lines with locomotives running at 15mph and very little likelihood of them arriving on the bridge at the same time and even if they did their relative speed would be less than 30mph. It makes me shudder to think about standing in the middle of the track now with two modern machines passing me at a relative speed of 250mph! Anyway, it was rebuilt in 1875 and the footpath moved to the south side out of harms way and that’s where it remains today. It is heavily used to this day and £6m was spent on it only two years ago.

We pass under it and take in the scene. If the river had been another foot higher all of this area would be flooded and further up stream gates would have been opened to allow excess water to flood the fields and reduce the risks within the city. I know that the gates on the Foss in the middle of town were lowered last night to prevent the water of the Ouse flowing up its length and flooding the city as it did a couple of years ago. The pumps would now be busy moving water into the Ouse and all of this done without recognition and little fuss. The only time that the anti-flood measures are recognised is when they don’t work!

The river has crept out in several areas but has now peaked and we enjoy a brisk walk in glorious sunshine along the river bank track for about a kilometre until we reach Clifton Bridge. The British Army built a temporary bridge here in 1961 to deal with the additional traffic that was generated by the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Kent in the Minster. A permanent one was built two years later in 1963. This one is of modern design not in the same ornate league as the ones in the city. It contains 4000 tons of concrete and 50 tons of steel. It’s not ugly but does look like a ’60’s bridge and does its job with simple efficiency. Today, one of its jobs is to allow us to progress to the other bank and on the way it allows me to assess the odds on us being able to utilise the riverside track on the east side of the swollen river.

The assessment is not good, there is water lapping the hedge and the riverside track is itself a stream although there is a small area of grass near the hedge that is slightly raised and this gives us the option of following the river instead of a detour into Clifton.

Pete is a snazzy dresser and has dressed for the city rather than a walk on semi-flooded soft ground and grass so there are questions asked about my parentage as we take our first tentative steps along this narrow strip! At the end of the hedge come fence the land broadens into a field with a flood bank. There’s a lady who has already passed us once riding her bike along the submerged path with her little boy in a child seat behind her. She was clearly enjoying the experience but I think he was asleep. She’s been along to a flooded element of the otherwise dry grass and advises us to go back to the flood bank and use that. It’s a short detour to get on the flood bank but the fact that we’re now 10 feet or so above the surrounding area gives us excellent views of the river and the relatively few flooded areas one of which is being well utilised by two dogs who clearly love swimming. They’re chasing whatever they can including a ball and the odd coot, we’re watching them, it’s joyful and brings a smile to all our faces.

At St Mary’s we’re in reminiscing mode and remember being able to park there without the need of a bank loan for the meter. We agreed the protocol was park, go to the ice cream van on the cobbles near the river for a 99 then into Museum Gardens to eat it and walk through to the city.

The water is over the pathway so a detour takes us into Museum Gardens via the side entrance and up on to the flood bank which has been carefully curved away from the river. This was due to an edict from the planners to find a way of building it without the need to destroy the trees that were growing near the river so there’s the reason for the curly flood bank.

On exit from the park we turn left away from Lendal Bridge as the riverside walk is completely under water and we will be able to pick it up again on our way back to the railway station. Apart from that, it gives us the option to go to Mannions for some excellent coffee and a piece of unbelievable sausage roll. Next time you’re in York I would urge you to try these spectacular pieces of bakery with a cup of tea or coffee, there’s an area out the back which is quite sheltered and catches the sun if you prefer to be outside. The tables are shared so don’t be surprised if you’re with someone else – it may mean you have to talk and make new friends.

Half an hour later we’re off again and making our way through the town via Coffee Yard and Grape Lane – Now here’s a tale that is worth a re-tell.

Grape Lane has a history; well all streets have a history but this one is a little more ‘interesting’. Most streets have a name that can be traced to either a family e.g. Churchill Court; a place e.g. Leicester Square or, the type of activity that was prevalent in that part of town e.g. Baker Street and this will be the case here…

Sooo, many lanes and roads in York have more than one name and you can see plaques that have the current name then underneath they have the words “Formally known as” and then the olde name. This particular street only has the current name and as I give you a little bit of history you’ll appreciate why.

In the early 13th century this part of town was frequented by working ladies who were responsible for exercising the men – you might call them medieval gym instructors! The Bishop was somewhat worried about his priests being distracted on their way to mass and had wooden walkways constructed that avoided the necessity to walk along this particular lane. There were, of course, some priests who spent time with the ladies purely to help them from their fallen status – yes, really! You may by now be wondering what the ‘formally known as’ name of this wonderful street and I’m coming to that (if you’ll pardon the expression).

Some words were in common usage in the 12th to 15th century and although classed as a bit vulgar they were not taboo. In fact Chaucer was not averse to the use of some of these highly illustrative words and there are numerous other instances where they can be seen in common usage.

During the 2010-2015 coalition government an official petition was raised and received by the civil servants that study these things and was rejected on the grounds that street names are not a function of national government so reinstating the names of all of the lanes, streets and avenues in London, Swindon, Newcastle and Bristol to their original Gropecunt Lane was refused and the last recorded use of such a name in 1561 will remain just that, the last recorded use.

My illustrious friends are amused by this tale and although I have lowered my voice to deliver the this life changing information I note a lady at the entrance to the coffee shop smiling and nodding before returning to her work.

As we walk to the end of Grape Lane I’m amused at the thought of who upset the guy on the way to the naming ceremony for the town of Shorpe pre Domesday. He must have been seriously peed off to add four characters to result in Scunthorpe!

We’re heading towards Parliament Street with a view to avoiding more flooding near the river and cross to the dry side via Ouse Bridge.

We walk to the middle and The Pilgrim leaves us for a prior appointment and I go into education mode with the team:

Ouse Bridge The original Roman bridge over the Ouse was eventually replaced by a wooden bridge built by the Vikings. In 1154, it collapsed under the weight of a crowd which had gathered to greet St William of York on his return from exile. It was then replaced by a stone bridge. It has an interesting claim to fame due to the first public toilets in Yorkshire, and likely England, were opened on the bridge in 1367. Part of the bridge was swept away by floods in the winter of 1564–5. The repaired bridge of 1565 had a new central arch spanning 81ft. This bridge was dismantled between 1810 and 1818 to make way for the current Ouse Bridge, designed by Peter Atkinson the younger and completed in 1821.

The pubs below on Kings Staith will not be trading for a day or two whilst they clear out the silt but they’ve redesigned them nowadays with electric sockets up a height and the cellars all upstairs so a quick pressure wash will do the trick and the beer will be flowing again just as soon as the floodwaters abate.

We need to walk away from the river again and navigate past Cliffords Tower where the wonderful display of daffodils bears testament to the reconciliation that took place in 1996 between the Christian and the Jewish Faith.

York has not had a good reputation with Jews and in 1190 a hundred and fifty jews had barricaded themselves in the Tower and in those days it was made of wood. The mob demanded that they come out and be ‘converted’ but they refused and it was set on fire. Many of them committed suicide and the others were burned to death rather than submit to becoming Christians. In 1996 there was a service of reconciliation and the daffodils that were planted around the Tower are a special variety that have 6 prominent petals that are meant to depict the points of the Star of David. They’re very beautiful and a fitting memorial.

We walk into the Tower Gardens with a view to walking up the steps to Skeldergate Bridge but the flood waters impede this idea and we cut back towards Tower Roundabout and get onto it there.

Skeldergate Bridge Designed in a Gothic Revival style by civil engineer George Gordon Page and built between 1878 and 1881. The small arch at the east end has an opening portion, powered by machinery in the Motor House, which also served as a toll house and accommodation for the toll keeper and his family. It opened to admit tall masted ships to the quays on either side of the river between Skeldergate and Ouse Bridges. It was formally declared free of tolls on 1 April 1914. Together with the attached tollhouse, it is a Grade II listed building.

We cross the bridge and take advantage of the offset recluse areas to make a few photographs of the floods below then turn right to descend the steps to the dry but threatened river bank and traverse the arch to emerge downstream of the bridge on Terry Avenue.

It’s only a kilometre to the beautiful Rowntree Park and we walk amazed at how close the water is to the top of the bank but is still contained in its channel. Well it is on this side and we take note that it will be impossible to take the river bank route back on the other side.

Rowntree Park was established by Joseph Rowntree in memory of his employees who were lost in WW1. It’s 20 acres and many people including some people in York don’t know of its existence. Even if you are not a walker I would urge you to make the effort to walk here. It’s got a cafe come library/reading room, childrens play area, skate park and a couple of lakes.

We emerge at the Millennium Bridge. Built to a competition-winning design by Whitby Bird and Partners, opened on 10 April 2001, cost £4.2 million. It carries a cycle path and a footpath, and is not open to vehicular traffic. It is a key link in the Sustrans National Cycle Routes 65/66 and is part of the orbital route for York completed in 2011. The bridge also acts a meeting place for local people, as it has a waist height shelf spanning the whole structure which facilitates sitting and admiring the view. While riverside paths regularly flood several times a year the bridge is higher and rarely floods The bridge is illuminated by banks of lights in different colours, the colour changes every few seconds.

The bridge is near a quay that was used to supply Fulford Barracks and there are small gauge lines nearby. Just slightly upstream a rope ferry plied its trade a couple of centuries ago.

We walk the bridge and decide on easiest route to Fulford Road as the water has scuppered our chances of using the riverside track.

We’re hungry now and looking forward to Walmgate and Polish restaurant called Barbakan. Highly recommended both through the day and especially in the evening – you must book.

After an hour and half sojourn we make our way across York to Lendal Bridge.

Built in 1863, Lendal Bridge stands on the site of a former rope-ferry where the city walls break for the River Ouse. This was the ferry used by Florence Nightingale when she visited York en route to Castle Howard in 1852. The bridge connects two medieval towers: Lendal Tower on the east bank and Barker Tower on the west. It was designed by civil engineer Thomas Page, also designed London’s Westminster Bridge. It is made of cast iron, and has a single span of 175 feet (53 m). Page’s bridge was the second attempt. The first, in 1860 by William Dredge, collapsed during construction, five workmen were killed. Parts of the structure were used in the Scarborough Valley Bridge. In 1861, permission was obtained from Parliament for a new bridge to be built, and the Corporation of York requested Thomas Page to design a replacement. His Gothic Revival bridge opened in 1863. Lendal Bridge was used in Damon and Debbie, a 1987 spin-off of soap Brookside for the scenes where long-running character Damon Grant was murdered.

We arrive back at the York Railway Station after a much rerouted 10km (just over 6 miles). We’ve enjoyed it as a walk and it’s even better when you can follow the riverbank paths.

Enjoy the snaps…G…x

Acknowledgements Wikipedia, Yorkpress.com and History of York. Please feel free to google the street name. You’ll find it’s true :-)

With Cecilia Kennedy​ and Peter Hymer​

York Bridges and a Bit of Flooding A Postcard From York, there are some rude words in this one; actually, the words are not rude but some of the syllables may be viewed as a little extreme!

[gaberoothekangaroo]

this is kinda going to be long.

my dad gets so fucking worked up about things and it fucking drives me bonkers because hes just being an ass about it. like we were watching transformers on tv and it had some extra interviews and it talked about the differences of opinion between shia and michael bay on how to do a scene. so my dad is spouting off about how ‘directors are lazy and complacent and they need to learn from others successes’ and on and on and on. and im like ???? there are like only a handful of series that go from one movie to the next??? and so we got into it. like i explained to him that this is a recent thing in the past ten years to have movies that all link up to one another that tell a whole story, rather than having a story that has a beginning middle and end and then adding on a sequel. cause lets be real most sequels suck cause theyre trying to recaputre the glory of the first movie and they dont live up to it.

so hes just fuckin goin off about how this that and the other. and i point out to him that the marvels movies started out as flops. like iron man was pretty good, then two just was in the toilet. well it was the first of its kind. they closed the doors on the first movie. it was a little hard to try to reopen things they had already closed. so they learned and the third movie was pretty good. then we have all the other movies in the franchise that build off each other. yeah they make mistakes, but these guys have all learned and built off each other. 

NOPE. hes like hauling off about laziness and they need to look at other peoples successes and failures on working in series. and im like ?????? asshole, do you not realize there are not that many series out there???? and so we just keep fighting over it and it gets to the point where im like ‘dude, its a fucking novel that theyre taking from a script and turning it into a visualization. you have a problem with their lack of continuity or their characterization, thats where your problems lie, not with the producer’

so then hes just like freaking out hardcore and hes like ‘movies and books are different’ and im like how? how could they possibly be different? world building, characters, a plot, a beginning middle and end. like how are they different aside from the fact one is visual and one is text based? and he just cant see that theyre literally the same thing. and so he keeps freaking out.

and im like ‘if i were to write a book on xyz, i wouldnt go look at the other successful authors that wrote something similar. thats fucking stupid.’ and hes like ‘thats not what i was saying’. um yes it is. if youre talking about looking at something and trying to base it off its predecessors successes and failures, then...wouldnt you have to...idk find something that was actually similar before you can make comparisons???

idfk. he had an issue with the fact that michael bay is a jackass and wanted ‘to do things his way’ and wasnt going to let shia do something he wanted to do. yeah okay creative differences, still made a fairly okay movie. not the actors fault that theres four of these stupid movies. but he was raging hardcore over the fact that the director was ‘lazy and complacent’. so what is his laziness? is there some sort of standard hes following? what is his complacency? like i? dont? understand???

the complacency youre talking about is he wanted a fucking paycheck. the first one was successful and he probably won awards and there was acclaim. so whats stopping him from trying to make a second? a third? he has the characters. he somewhat has the world. its not his own idea, no, because hes taking from an already fairly successful source. but hes moulding the characters to his needs and purposes. same thing with his screenwriter.

i have more anger directed towards the screenwriter than the producer because if the script/characters suck, its on them. they wrote the fuckin thing. if you dont know how to worldbuild or write a cohesive character outside of a single individual film, thats on you and your creativity, not the producer. but nope, he couldnt see it that way. and he kept yelling about how i was putting words in his mouth and this that or the other. like jesus fucking christ man.

im so fucking over how he cant see another point of view. he does this shit with everything. like i need to move fucking far away again. i cannot do this shit. it drives me near up the wall.

he gets so mad that im ‘so literal’ ‘all the goddamned time’. okay well...im not yelling every five seconds that the english language is being destroyed and cant accept change. ‘i was taught all the rules and exceptions’. bullshit. if you were, youd speak worse than a goddamned textbook. you wouldnt sound human. you wouldnt fit in to your social environment. you would be stiff. yet whenever you hear a new word, jesus lord almighty the world is coming down around your ears. its bad when others say it, but you dont mind when we do it. righto.

he makes me so mad. he just doesnt want to look outside his viewpoint. as understanding as he is, he doesnt want to learn. he says he likes learning, but he doesnt actually. if it goes away from what he was taught or something hes stood by for forever and a half, he doesnt want it to change. its like tough luck asshole, thats how things happen. if you dont want change, move to a cave. i dont like change either, but im not yelling from the rooftops about it. nor am i blinded by my viewpoints.

the dumb thing about all this is, is that i dont have anyone i can talk to this about. none of my friends really wanted to stay in contact after we grew up. i havent made too many strong relationships after childhood. the ones i have made, i dont want to feel like im bothering them. i dont want to feel like im incessantly talking nonstop and only about myself and my problems. so i bottle it and then it explodes and then after im done writing it out or talking it out, im still angry. my anxiety is still high. but im over it. im done talking about it. i could get riled up again, but it just tires me out.

like i feel like i used to have a good relationship with my dad, but then i moved away. i learned some new things. i saw some different view points. i aligned myself with others that were abroad. i try to look at things differently. and now that ive come back, its like hes exactly where i left him. he didnt change, but i did. he doesnt want to learn or grow. he thinks hes done, that this is the most him he can be.

it makes me really angry because i want to share things with him. i want to talk to him about the things that excite me, that i think might excite him cause we share a lot of common interests. but then all i get is push back and anger and confrontation and it just makes me tired. it makes me angry too, but i just want to be done and over with it. i want to be away from it. from him.

when i left, i didnt know mothers werent supposed to be that way. now that ive learned thats not how any individual should be, i can see how dads shouldnt be that way either. im not saying hes abusive like my mother, but hes nearly there. belittling and jeering and outright testosterone fueled meanness when things dont go his way or i dont perform to his standards. theres even a disparity between how understanding he used to be and how understanding he is now. the older i get and the further i get away from who i used to be, the less understanding he seems to be. it makes me sad. it makes me angry. it makes me want to leave and not come back. it makes me want to go and to go and to go. at the same time, i live in a constant state of existential crisis. life is short and nothing has meaning. all that stuff. so theres fear, true panic inducing fear that dominates my line of thinking for a few days before i get it under control and so i dont want to lose my relationship with my dad. he is probably one of the closest people in my life. but he also keeps getting more distant as time progresses.

nights like tonight just make me want to cry. i go from anger to sadness/panic to exhaustion. like ive ranted, ive changed the subject a couple times now, but i dont feel better. theres still a low simmer of anger in my chest thats constricting in the way anxiety is constricting.

i dont want many more of these situations. i guess its time to move. i dont want to do it permanently, but it looks kinda like it might have to be. and if it is permanent, that means i leave behind my grandmother who means the world to me. it means i leave behind one of my best friends, a friend i believed would die and i wouldnt be informed of his passing a few years ago. i already left some close friends behind in my last state of residency. i read a lot because i choose to escape from things. i have a hard time facing things. like facing the fact that my dad is probably not going to change as a individual and will continue to be confrontational and a hypocrite. i really wanna cry but my depression doesnt allow it.

[fyrapartnersearch]

Harry Potter Originals; M//, F//

HUGE AD AHEAD, apologies! ♡

Hello! It’s been a long time since I’ve touched this site, about a year. I’ve had a pretty crazy year, so I’m glad to return to my roots with writing OCs in the Harry Potter universe. It’s always been my go-to, so this is essentially a re-hash of the last ad I made here. ♡

  My name is Jupiter and I’m turning 23 later this year. I only write with those 18 or older, very preferably 20+ like myself. Fine with side pairings of any gender combination, but I’d prefer mains to be M// and/or F//. I shoot off replies a few times a week/every few days depending on my schedule. I vary between novella or multiple paragraphs (4-5 average) depending on what we agree on, third person in past tense. Doubling (two M// relationships, two F// relationships, or one of each) tends to be my default, but it’s not required so let me know off the bat what you’re looking for.

  Planning to stick my limits and full thoughts underneath, but TL;DR summary: modern wizarding world, Triwizard Tournament (with adults/professors), prophecies and mysteries, squibs/muggles? Wow! Lots of stuff! Read on if intrigued. 😊

  Smut is good but like doubling, not required. ALL characters will be adults, of course. I won’t do underage/pedophilia, incest, nonconsensual/dubious consent, bestiality, gore, mpreg, A/B/O, toilet kinks, sexual abuse, and other things of that ilk. I only write vers characters in bed, so if you only write bottoms or something like that, we won’t be a fit.

  I’m a very big pinterest user and hooked on aesthetics, so moodboards are to be expected from my half! And for face claims, I do prefer to use them. I used to be so against them, but for some reason, last year was when they unexpectedly grew on me.

  Now, I generally stray away from writing kids in general, but that CAN be waived if we’re planning to do a whole storyline and plot concerning characters in school heading out into the world with their own harrowing plot or prophecy/mystery to deal with. Obviously there will be NO sexual content going on with underage characters, and the main focus of things would culminate when they’re adults. I DO greatly prefer writing professors and have an itch to go that route, plus the idea of professors working behind the scenes and dealing with some creepy and scary stuff around school and trying to keep it from the board/their students? Maybe toss in some found-family stuff with pseudo-parents with an involved student or two? Or students who become professors and their past or some major event in their school years comes back to haunt them? 👀 The possibilities are endless.

  I like the idea of exploring lives post-Hogwarts in general since the main series doesn't really get into that (excluding Fantastic Beasts, which I can't stress enough how uninterested in I am. Similarly, I am VERY critical of the world-building JK's done with expanding the universe, particularly with how sloppily she handled other cultures and their relation with her lore and would rather adjust things for our own take, so keep that in mind before contacting me). The main series is mostly set in Hogwarts, so I'd love to do something to explore the Wizarding World as a whole.

    Onto actual plots.

  I'd love to write a setting in modern times as opposed to the original late '90's, exploring how the wizarding world and wizarding laws have shifted with the advancement of muggle technology. I'd imagine it was much easier to keep magic under wraps before smartphones came into the equation. Maybe the wizarding world is under stress or extreme restriction due to this, even leading to some age-old conflict between wizards who want to stay quiet, wizards who want to finally open up to the muggle world, and very old traditionalists who are actively against the latter. Some of Voldemort’s escaped Death Eaters would definitely be involved as well, I think.

    A reinvented Triwzard Tournament would also be extremely fun! Now, I know the tournament was banned after Harry's foray into it since Cedric was killed, but hear me out: maybe it's reconstructed due to the fact that the previous tournament went the way it did because of the whole Voldemort situation. I'd really prefer a tournament held between school alumni as opposed to students anyway, both because it just makes more sense with the nature of the game as well as the fact that it means we wouldn't have to be writing kids. Maybe even the professors to touch on the school pride while still keeping the heart of the games intact? Or something else completely, I'm just tossing out ideas. Like last time, this is sort of the main thing I'm aiming for at the moment since I'd really love to write a tournament and it gives us a lot of freedom to work with different ideas/settings/situations. Also, c’mon. I love balls scenes, lol.

  I do also like the idea of a muggle getting wrapped up in wizarding stuff for whatever reason. The main series establishes that there are at least SOME witches and wizards that coexist with muggles, at least enough to have kids that are half-bloods. Maybe someone’s got a magical relative or spouse/partner or something and somehow get involved in a situation where wizards need a non-magical person for plot related reasons? Or perhaps the person they’re related to or involved with is in a Triwizard Tournament so they come to show their support.

  Something to do with prophecies could be very interesting — after seeing all of those prophecies kept under lock in the Ministry (before they were destroyed, at least, lmao), it got me thinking of what the extent of prophecies were and if all of them were as severe as Harry's, or what another prophecy could be. It could be fun to explore something with our own characters in that vein?

  I enjoy serious/darker plots, so I'd like to have a bigger plot that our characters bleed into! I’m not looking for a more mundane or slice of life roleplay. We could throw all of these ideas in a bowl and see what comes from it. None of these thoughts of mine are a prerequisite for contacting me, however. If you've got an idea of your own, I would more than love to hear them.

  Huge ad, mostly a copy-paste of my old one! Kudos to making it this far. My email is pieronhand@gmail.com. Sorry if you prefer messengers for OOC chit-chat or initial plotting, I strictly use email for everything! If we had something lined up that didn’t work out and you’d like to rekindle something, don’t be afraid to message me again!