#trust Ik the set up is different but I think you guys will like it

[ibuprofenjuliet]

I mourn my crown, my children, my past life, and my future.

[himalayaan-flowers]

reblogging to continue venting in the tags lol

mental health experts are not a thing

[ququb444hm]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭, 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝

part 31 / old man ☆

masterlist

important note!! there is the implication of a panic attack in this part so if that makes u uncomfortable, please do not continue reading! i am sorry in advance if i offend anyone by the way i write out the panic attack. i have not experienced one before and am basing the information solely on research i have done beforehand as well as the experiences of my friends. and for anyone who has experienced a panic attack, U R ONE OF THE STRONGEST PEOPLE EVER!

“geez, the school needs to start providing free umbrellas or something!” coach ukai exclaimed. he stared at his two players and team manager– tetsu, kozume, and yn were all dripping wet and shivering from the intense weather. “we’re ending practice a bit early so just grab a towel and dry yourselves up a bit or go take a quick shower in the locker room so you at least don’t catch a cold before the game next week.”

“yes, coach.” the three nodded, quickly making their way to the showers.

“yn!” mori called out, running up to his friend with a hoodie in hand. “change into this after so you’re not cold.”

yn eyed the material, smirking once she realized who it belonged to. “did rinnie give this to you?” she mused, “ohoho, so are you guys talking or what?”

“oh shut up, go take a shower. you smell like wet dog.” mori grumbled, shoving the hoodie into yn’s arms. yn giggled, thanking mori before heading into the girls locker room.

(note: guys.. i don’t actually ship mori n rin LOL js a disclaimer bc ik (or im pretty sure) they like haven’t met in the actual series…? they’re more of a sub-plot like cece n tetsu bc i love side character lore! anyways back to the storyyy)

once yn was done freshening up, she joined coach ukai and mr. takeda on the bleachers to talk about the game. "the team is looking good," coach examined. he watched as the players went up against each other in a quick match. "i just don't know what to do about kozume and keiji." he rubbed the back of his neck, deep in thought as he analyzed the papers yn gave him last practice.

"what do you mean?" yn asked. she didn't recall writing anything weird about the two.

coach ukai shrugged. "maybe it's because i've known these kids since they were freshmen, but something just feels off between the two. i compared your notes from the beginning of the semester to last week, and there's a slight decline in their abilities."

yn furrowed her brows, taking the papers from coach ukai to see the difference herself. "a decline?" her eyes scanned the data and much to her surprise, he was right. kozume's agility went down by 2.5% and keiji's been struggling to successfully set the ball up for kou which puts the team at a big disadvantage since kou is normally always on the court and has the most trust in keiji to send him the ball.

(note again: idk what i js pulled out of my ass w this one >o< i don’t play volley but wtvr! :3)

"speaking of kozume and keiji, where are they?" mr. takeda piped up. tetsurou finished showering at the same time as yn and was currently talking to a few members, assumingly giving them tips for next week, but kozume was still nowhere to be seen. there couldn’t have been only one working shower right? 

"bokuto!" coach ukai called out, "where's your setter?"

"uhh-" kou looked around, "not on the court, coach!"

keishin groaned. "well, obviously.."

"keiji is in the locker room, pretty sure.” kei answered instead. he heard the setter excuse himself to grab something in the locker room, but what would he need in there when they usually dropped their things off on the bleachers? the middle blocker shrugged it off, not caring too much about his upperclassman.

“uhm i think kozume is also still in there.” shoyou added. his eyes met yn’s, both of them starting to feel a bit uneasy after talking about the two last night. “do you want me to go grab them?” keishin sighed, motioning for shoyou to retrieve the two missing players.

as shoyou neared the red-painted metal doors, his ears picked up keiji’s voice. he sounded annoyed. really annoyed. “you can’t be seriously telling me you won’t leave yn alone, right? right? kozume c’mon,” keiji laughed in mockery, his voice was getting a bit louder, but not loud enough to reach the ears of the other people on the other side of the gym. “you’re just going to keep hurting her. she doesn’t deserve that. you don’t deserve her.”

“like you have any place to talk,” kozume barked back. though not as aggravated as keiji, kozume was firm with his words. “you made yn feel unimportant the whole time the two of you were in a relationship. you were the one who had an interest in her first, yet you barely took the time to show any effort. you couldn’t even go to one of the most important events in her life! she worked so hard, she always does, for the annual art exhibition, but you forgot about it.”

“i had an important meeting that day-” keiji tried to reason.

kozume only scoffed. “oh please.”

“okay. fine.” shoyou could hear heavy footsteps. keiji was corning kozume into the lockers. he pressed an accusing finger against his chest. “missing the art exhibition was a dick move, but am i the one who’s going for their friend’s ex? am i the one who would publicly reject yn, yet give her mixed signals behind closed doors, continuously confusing her and manipulating her feelings? am i the one who can’t make up his mind, slowly declining yn’s mental and emotional well-being? no, kozume, i’m not. you are. know your place. yn doesn’t need you.”

it was quiet for a few seconds before shoyou could hear keiji’s footsteps walking toward the door he was pressing his ear against. in a quick panic, the ginger hid behind a nearby scoreboard until he saw keiji far enough to where he wouldn’t see the worried sophomore slip into the locker room.

“kozume!” shoyou cried out. the blond was in a fetal position on the floor against the lockers. he rocked back and forth, the frantic movement almost causing him to hit his head against the hard metal. his breathing was short and unstable, almost like he was choking. it was even more difficult to breathe due to his strained cries. the state of his close friend made shoyou sick to his stomach, his body trembled, not knowing what to do. “what- whats happening?!” he tried to prevent kozume from accidentally injuring himself, but once his hand made contact with kozume’s shoulder, the blond slapped his hand away.

“don’t touch me!” he cried out. his eyes grew in panic, everything around him was overwhelming him past his limit.

shoyou fell back at the sudden impact, “kozume-”

“i’m sorry,” kozume dug his head back into his arms. “i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry-” he repeated the same words over and over again, each apology more desperate than the last. ‘i hit shoyou? why did i hit shoyou?’ “i didn’t mean it- i didn’t i-” his voice was restless, saying the same thing over and over as his mind grew louder by the second. ‘i hurt shoyou. i hurt yn. i can’t stop. i don’t know what to do. i can’t stop. it hurts. everything hurts. i hurt yn. my heart wont shut up. it’s so loud. everything is so loud. please shut up. please shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up-’

“kozume i don’t know what to do!” shoyou sobbed. the situation was getting to much for him, he needed to call someone for help. “i’m going to get yn, she’ll know what to do-”

“SHUT UP.” shoyou stopped in his tracks, body cold at the sudden yell. kozume’s head jerked up at his own words, disbelief written across his face. was he the one who yelled that? “please don’t get yn. please- shoyou please.” he was tirelessly begging. tears constructing his vision enough to not even know if shoyou was opening the door or not. “please. please don’t call yn. i don’t- she can’t know. please. i’m sorry i yelled. i’m sorry- just. just- don’t move.”

shoyou slowly removed his hand from the door handle. his movements were slow, scared that he might suddenly alarm kozume again. he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing long and slow to calm his nerves so that he could at least provide some sort of ease to kozume. “okay…” he whispered, slowly opening his eyes. shoyou bent down to kozume’s level, leaving a foot of space between them as he tried to calm the blond’s nerves as he just did his own. “it’s okay koz. it’s okay.” continuing the breathing exercise he was previously doing, shoyou used his hands to motion each inhale, each hold of breath, and each exhale. 

“i’m sorry.” kozume murmured, unable to meet shoyou’s gaze. he was slowly regaining stable breathing, the pain in his chest diminishing. 

“don’t apologize!” shoyou scolded. “i’m the one who should say sorry, kozume.” the ginger choked back his tears, refraining from overwhelming his friend. “i didn’t know what to do and i couldn’t help you..”

kozume shook his head, “you did help, sho. thank you.” a small smile graced his features, reassuring his friend.

the two sat in silence for a few minutes until shoyou decided to let his curiosity flow free. “kozume, can i ask you something?” the blonde nodded. “what's happening between you and keiji? and why can’t yn know about this? why are you hiding it from her?”

kozume let out a weak laugh. “that’s more than just a something.” 

“sorry, i just don’t get it!” shoyou whined. “yn likes you, a lot, and i thought you really like yn too. so why are u letting keiji get in the way and talk you down like that? why are you so afraid of letting yourself be happy?”

the familiar question rang through kozume’s mind. a previous conversation from tetsurou suddenly resurfacing.

“are you afraid of letting yourself be happy or something? look, i’m not saying you should’ve prevented keiji from asking yn out, but you’ve liked my sister since what? the second grade? and you just let some new guy sweep her off her feet? that’s just crazy, man! i know for a fact that he could never have the same connection you and her have, trust me, i’m like psychic or something. i know you’re the better person–- the only person, actually, for yn.” 

“it’s not that…” kozume groaned. “i’m afraid that…if yn and i do become something more than what we are now, i’ll disappoint her more than i already do. what if, once we start dating, she realizes she doesn’t actually like me?”

shoyou frowned. keiji’s words were dug deep into kozume’s heart. nothing he could say, no amount of reassurance could ever directly change kozume’s mindset. it needed to come from her–

knock. knock. knock. 

“sho? kozume? are you guys okay? i- uhm we’re getting worried…you two have been in there for a long time, is everything okay?”

there she was. the only person who could dissolve all of keiji’s cruel words from kozume’s distraught soul. 

“sorry, we’ll be out in a sec, nn!” shoyou called out. he reached a hand out for kozume to take. “are you okay to go outside?”

the blonde took a deep breath. “we have a game next week, don’t we?” he placed his hand on shoyou’s, pulling himself up.

the two opened the door to reveal yn’s big doe eyes brimming with concern. “what happened? did you lose your towel? was the water too cold?” she enveloped kozume’s hands into her own, feeling the difference in temperature. “if you didn’t have any warm water, you should’ve told us! taking a cold shower after being soaked in the rain isn’t good for you!” 

“hey!” coach ukai irked, already frustrated that kozume would only have less than an hour to practice. “stop feeling the boy up and let him get his ass to work!”

yn’s eye twitched at the suggestive assumption. she quipped her head at keishin and flipped him off. “shut up, old man!”

part 30 sassy man apocalypse <- | masterlist | -> part 32 nipples in a twist

note(s): hnnghghghgrfijwfmgh next part is a text msg part

✩⡱ taglist !! + @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sherryuki-callmeyuki @anny-bah @ast4rg1rl @sukunasrealgf @dani-shitting-around @whokillednyx @vernon-dursley @limaswife @sugawara-levi @sixxze @ryoiii @literally-a-ferret @444sunarin @llearlert @lloyd4x @usermins @2baddies-1porsche @vernon-dursley @lyzisbitchingagain @h3xi2g0n3 @l0v3do11 lmk if u want to be added (msg or inbox)ヾ(･ω･`；)ﾉ

[solar-halos]

i finished the umbrella academy s4. i am not amused. here are my thoughts (looong post incoming)

1. i don’t remember diego being so fucking annoying. actually that’s a lie he’s always been annoying but since he was hot i let it slide but now that he’s not treating lila right (how do u fumble a baddie THAT HARD) i think he should participate in the shut the fuck up challenge

2. “their uncle will pick them up” HUH? like obviously this timeline is different but you’re telling me lila has uncles (and parents! or someone! she was talking to some elderly couple before the party!). what does that mean for the others… were their mothers still killed in this timeline or did klaus live out his little amish dream, even if he wasn’t around to experience it? ykwim? like did they show up to this timeline and someone was like “omg where did u wander off to? i was looking all over for u!” and then it turns out it’s their sibling/uncle/whatever in that timeline and they just have to be like ah yes. i surely do know who u are

3. what they did to lila and diego was criminal!!! “she said she couldn’t get pregnant while breast feeding. but she could” dramatic ass reveal for no fucking reason. like get over yourself diego

4. ok i know they prob couldn’t get rays actor to come back but what the fuck do u mean he walked out. and how can allison afford that nice house when all she’s doing is being in commercials nobody wants. our girl has a BEAMER. also i thought they weren’t supposed to have phones or anything like that so why does allison have a vape lollll. not complaining bc that scene was funny to me but why and how

5. ughhh they were tryna set up lila and five SO BAD in the beginning. and even then they still gave off intense sibling vibes

6. ok maybe im just too american but the gun imagery was kinda not it for me. like idk i think the bit with santa claus coming out shooting at everything was supposed to be funny but idkk i think im just too sensitive bc i was like mkkk whatever not funny. also i know luther has super strength but even in s1 he still got majorly injured when that chandelier fell on him but now he’s fucking indestructible apparently?? like getting shot at and stuff?? what???

7. ok but that grandma loading her old timey gun while she turned to the siblings like O.O was funny i’ll give them that

8. speaking of guns wtf siblings are killing EVERYONE. like ik they started the apocalypse and everything but idek just the way they did it was so weird. like less detached/guilty and more like… triumphant? satisfied? idk but it had a different tone than even s3, i remember in s2 it was such an intense ordeal when allison made those two european brothers kill each other but this time they straight up mass murdered a bunch of ppl in a small town and were like B). like ok. like allsion mutilated that guy in front of her DAUGHTER and it was just chill. major tonal shift

9. “you just had to one up me” 1) you just killed a bunch of ppl diego!! 2) that is NOT the lila and diego i know. the real lila and diego would have started making out nasty style the moment lila killed that guy w her laser eyes. also wtf were the point of the laser eyes. she used them like twice and then that was it

10. with that being said all that affair stuff and recovery and addiction and relapse was getting so heavy. which ik is the point and the umbrella academy has always been heavy but like holy shit u GOTTA pick a struggle. is lila gonna groom five or is klaus gonna give claire trauma cos u can’t have both

11. speaking of claire… “would it help to remind u that we were just as shitty at her age” no u fucking weren’t. u could have breathed at ur british alien father wrong and he would have made u do drills until u puked. don’t play rn

12. why did they not trust the audience to pick up on the fact ben spiked their drinks. like we did not need a full on FLASHBACK. or like to be fully immersed in that scene, a tiny little flashback would have done

13. ok but why is this season so scary. like that train station made me paranoid

14. i will never forgive them for what they did to my girl lila. she used to serve CUNT

15. that british lady alien annoyed the fuck outta me

16. WHERE was pogo. and grace. they needed to find a way to bring them back. maybe they could have transported to a universe where the apocalypse happened and now the world was getting ruled by a planet of [gunshots]

17. why the fuck was diego acting like jennifer and ben weren’t linked in some way when all of s3 they alluded to the jennifer incident every other scene. i get it was supppsed to be so obvious even to someone who has ONLY watched s4 that jennifer and ben were linked so it was just a case of diego being stupid BUT that doesn’t work when it’s already been established that they all know jennifer played a part in ben’s death. hence calling it the Jennifer Incident

18. “they tried to address that in later scenes” they failed. they didn’t know how ben died, fine. but they knew jennifer had something to do w it. i’m tired of scenes that poke fun at diego for being stupid. he’s not stupid—he’s cocky

19. okay no but this season was SO gory. like. whatever they have guns this is a revolution but the guts? the intestines?? they wanted to be stranger things sooo bad

20. no but we need to talk about that. the monster thingie at the end was so stranger things and the guns and the military and everything it was like we were back in s3 (or whenever we met the russians)

21. LOL but that scene where diego finds out about five and lila was lowkey funny. this season was so meta in general

22. speaking of the holidays… i sure did love watching everyone sing christmas carols and walk around in the snow when it was hot asf in real time

23. i do like how many parallels there were to s1. like w viktor and reggie, it was very viktor and leonard in s1. and klaus getting kidnapped. although i was kinda tired of klaus getting abducted and his siblings not giving a fuck. i thought there was supposed to be growth there

24. okayyy but ben and jennifer were cute SORRY. “let’s get married” that would have worked on me. however being rude to me while i was at work WOULDNT have worked on me so maybe yall are right maybe we didn’t need a love interest this season

25. i did NOT expect them to actually drag out lila and five’s love story. other than the age gap (no matter how ur looking at it) you already knew it was gonna be bad as soon as they had their first kiss. i hate those multiple little open mouthed kisses that are literally just ALL lip and spit like that’s fucking gross if ur gonna stick ur tongue in my mouth u better do it by the third little :O we got going on there. and then five was giving boy. like literal boy. and lila is a literal goddess but a goddess that’s well into her 20s and the contrast was so sharp it rlly was giving mom and her caucasian child. i mean that bit about lila viewing it as survival vs five actually clinging onto it showed their different levels of maturity, but since it’s never specified if five is still a 50 year old man or just aging normally, his reaction rlly was such a teenage boy thing. “i’m gonna kill him” man shut the fuck up

26. ok no bc we need to talk about this. i think fives actor is my age—maybe even a little bit older—but i don’t see how anyone over the age of 18 is supposed to find him attractive. like idk it’s weird in the show but even creepier irl cos lila’s actor had to have known him when he was still a minor. why did anyone at the umbrella academy think we wanted this

27. anyway not to make this about myself but when i was writing the odesta longfic there were a lot of lore inconsistencies as we kept going bc i forgot some of the details and was too lazy to go back and read it sometimes, and i think that’s what happened this season. the most notable detail is when klaus covered his ears while everyone was shooting at each other. i was expecting some sort of vietnam flashback but like no. he was just there being normal about it, all things considered

28. “ex-squeeze me?” it wasn’t funny when klaus said it in s1. and it wasn’t funny here

29. alright i think that’s really all i wanted to say about the season tbh… like idk diego and lila starting a family made sense i guess and i know they were falling out of love (even tho they would never do that…) but i didn’t rlly feel any of the love w the kids. like even when lila stepped off the train at the last min and her daughter was banging at the glass it looked more like she was like “oh no :(“ and then just started poking at the glass. i don’t even think it matters that she didn’t fully know what was going on—if you’re a child and ur mom steps away in an unfamiliar situation, you’re gonna start to freak. especially w everything else that was going on

30. ok this is such a small thing to harp on but they abused the fuck outta that time skip font. like i don’t think they ever used it that much before now

31. now let’s get into the ending. this is how i would fix it:

we can keep jennifer. whatever. that thing they added at the very last second about her having a particle that causes the end of the world was… whatever. like i get it. they needed a way to explain the end of the world and that was the thing they used and even if it was very late to introduce such a (admittedly confusing) bombshell, at least it fits in with what we already know about this universe’s rules. magic and particles and marigold and whatever. jennifer is fine.

tbh when jennifer started feeling sick i was honestly thinking that they were gonna go the surprise pregnancy route even though they weren’t even fuckinf hinting at that i just have no media literacy. i wouldn’t have minded that tbh, like the monster transformation made more sense but imagine if we did a twilight ripoff for a second, except that jennifer and ben were both equally protective of the killer baby growing outside of jennifer’s womb (or in her womb… whatever. point is there’s a baby). i don’t think this is a good idea—if anything i think this is a shit idea. but something that’s always been so prominent in tua are the moral implications of what they’re doing, like with everyone wanting to kill harlan in s3 instead of letting the entire world die, and with everything that happened with viktor in s1. there was the whole “i can’t kill my brother” bit, sure, but everyone kinda didn’t rlly seem too enthusiastic about it.

actually the baby addition is actually a shit idea. i’m just keeping that part of the rant in bc we need SOME sort of moral dilemma that isn’t just viktor arguing w hargreeves and then his siblings dropping in later with opinions that don’t even seem that strong. everyone needs to have a strong opinion on SOME sort of moral issue that we wanna introduce—that, in a perfect world, we’d be building up to throughout the season—and then yeah whatever there can be an epic fight scene

i don’t watch/read a lot of time travel stuff, but from what i gathered, the timeline can never be restored once it’s fucked with. there has to be consequences, like with any story. and tua did address that—they tried restoring the timeline thousands of times—but i think they shot themselves in the foot there. time travel with a (somewhat) happy ending is possible—there just has to be something to lose, and it has to be something that isn’t nonnegotiable. claire was nonnegotiable, which is why i think they stayed in s3’s timeline for as long as they did

point is, i think they should have gone back to 2019. i mean i don’t think anyone really wanted them to die. i made a joke in s3’s rant that i would just give up, but lucky for me, i am not a fictional character in tua, so the fact they just die in the last five mins and we’re supposed to be ok w that makes the last three seasons pointless. like, actually pointless. what was the message here? why is the ending of the show painted as some sort of utopia just bc we got rid of the siblings? and why is five okay with that? i think him being on board w dying could have been an interesting route to take if they showed his relationship w his siblings consistently deteriorating (both on screen AND off screen) but they only rlly managed to do that with diego, and it was for something fucking stupid

ANYWAY. bring those fools back to 2019, but don’t make them totally happy. just give them something that makes them all just stay put, like how allison has claire (doesn’t matter which timeline. it could be from the fucked up timeline. i don’t think the cleanse would happen bc of that bc claire is only one person and not an entire fucking organization like tua or an assassination like jfk. so hell. might as well throw harlan and sissy in there for viktor. that makes lila and diego’s motivation really easy for staying put, cos then they have their kids. klaus is klaus and no offense to him but i think hes just gonna roll w the cards he’s dealt without trying to fight back, for better or for worse. then ben can have jennifer and since they love each other idk they just stick around. then five’s motivation for staying is that his family is alive and none of them want to leave and that’s good enough for him bc that’s why he time traveled in the first place

again… i don’t think what i came up with is any good. i just think it’s better than them all dying at the last fuckin second. i think this show relied on a lot of haha random xd humor at the beginning and they tried to keep that intact here but everything got so serious that i think them all dying rlly did seem like the only way out but.. it’s not. they could go back to the way things are as long as there were consequences. it would suck, and none of them would be as happy as they could be, but they know that’s as happy as they’re gonna get, so whatever. like, if we were gonna take the suicide route, we might as well gone the time loop route and gone back from the very beginning when five blinks back to 2019. i think that rly would have driven home the “this all would have happened anyway” point way better than them just being like guess ill die :) bc ughhh. no they wouldn’t. also they wouldn’t let lila leave bc she still had marigold in her but… what about her and diego’s kids?? they’re half marigold, and claire is a quarter, so… what’s up with that?

[meatsex]

hi im sorry if this is weird to ask and you definately dont have to answer, but how did you start transitioning? im sure its different outside the us, but i guess i mean like more how did you get the "courage" to ig? im just now in my early 20s and i want to start before its "too late", but im just worried abt so much shit surrouding it (family, my job, school, etc) and it stops me everytime i get close to trying to

im sorry, idk i just remeber seein your top surgery pics a while back and thought abt asking for a bit cause im kinda alone in this. its okay if you dont respond, ik this might be like a hard subject

hello, this isnt a weird question at all, especially if you find yourself in a situation where you feel alone about this matter.

before i begin, obviously none of the things i say are a guide or should be taken as exact reference, they are just my experience, precautions i took and things i realized/explored; this will also be LONG

i began transitioning around 2016 (i was 19-20 iirc), this is when i began to reconsider my gender and how i saw myself, i wasnt sure about my stance on myself so i used the label genderfluid as that was what felt right atm, i wasnt sure if i really wanted to be a guy or just felt like it every so often; back then i only confided this information to my then boyfriend

i began using a different name online, tried different clothing and also got my hair cut way short for the first time, basically tried and experienced, i was also used to crossplaying often (cosplaying male characters)

in 2018 i was fully set with the idea i wanted to be a man, id fully take on the role of one online and i had already told other friends i trusted about this

i stopped using the label of genderfluid by this time as well, i also tried binding a bit but it was complicated for me so it wasnt long lived but definitely helped in settling the idea of what i wanted

in 2020-2021 i came out to my parents, i tested the waters *a lot* first, i brought up topics like having transgender friends or similar too see how they would react, luckily they both did positively. after this i felt confident in telling everyone else irl

in 2022 i got my legal name change (the process in Argentina is basically a re-enacment of your birth certification with your preferred name and gender, i dont know if this is different or the same elsewhere), and in 2023 i got top surgery, the overall healing process was around 6 months, i did require aid for things like getting up from bed and eating

i was freshly 26 for my surgery by 2023, what im trying to say is for some people its something that could take a lot of time while others might find instantly this is their correct way to feel and be, but its also never too late or never too early and its also okay to change your mind and go back on how you felt, utimately its your decision to take

truthfully you will have to think and consider hard in which areas and with which people you feel safe sharing your gender, some people might not be open to the idea and depending on the circumstances it might not be worth the risk (like at a job or school) unless you have a backup plan to fall onto if it comes to a worst case scenario; i hid these things from my family for a lot of time (especially my internet-disconnected, right-leaning dad)

i think "closet" transitioning or just taking small steps that can be subtle to others is a good idea if you are still unsure about your situation and/or environment, in the sense of exploring ideas, terms, feelings, and with things like trying on different clothes or changing the way you present yourself in a smaller scale (like friends you trust or online presence)

i think its also important i was an adult by this time, therefore (as stupid as this sounds because it is) i had more credibility in the eyes of others to my emotions and how i felt, but this is something that depends and varies with the environment you are in and the people that surround you

ultimately it truly never is late or early, its okay if you try it and change your mind, no one is going to punish you for it and no one is entitled to how you feel about yourself other than you; i hope this helped in any way and if not feel free to ask again about more specific ideas or topics regarding this

[butterflytint]

am i the only one who cant hate mikasa and jean no matter how hard i try (except if they try to hurt yn or something) , but anyway i cant really hate them bcs ik exactly how they feel , i remember telling my friend (who we will be calling S) that i had crush on this guy and i wanted to get to know him and yk what she did ? ☺️ , she started flirting with him and talking to him like every single day to the point where he confessed his feelings to her but she rejected him , and the sherry on top 😍 as soon as i told her abt my lil crush on him she decided that it was a good idea to tell him 🤗 how did i find out ? my crush’s friend told me and y’all know how boys are when they find out that you like them they start ignoring you so thats when she started flirting and talking to him , i obviously stopped being friends with her, btw she also did this to my bsf , my bsf was attracted to one of our classmate and S started flirting with him too but ehh we didn’t mind it at that time cause my bsf didnt really have a crush on him , she was attracted to him , nothing more so we both let it pass

mikasa and jean arent my favs honestly but i dont really hate them since i kinda relate to them BUT ISTG THEY BETTER NOT SIDE WITH LARA 😟

the thing is almost everyone has a certain justification or reason as to why they behave or think a certain way. I feel like one of my main goals was to write how some ppl are stronger than others and handle pain differently and some people have their moments of immense strength but also moments of irreparable weakness

everyone has solid reasons EXCEPT THAT CUNT LARA AND MASON

but the situation itself is very sticky because y/n came into the group as an outsider and very late, her relationship wasn’t as solidified as the others but she was reaching that point with many members, this ended up setting her way back because of course i would be upset as well if that happened to me which is why y/n isn’t angry with anyone but herself and eren. she still thinks about mikasa everyday whether she says it or not. Losing a friend is extremely painful and just as painful as ending a romantic relationship. mikasa acted a bit erratically but her going into hiding and keeping to herself is something that honestly many of us would’ve done in that situation because you put so much trust in someone that it shatters you completely. she actually had more faith in y/n than she did in eren at that point which should tell u a lot

[ven10]

For the ten characters ask game: Quigley Quagmire, Isadora Quagmire, Duncan Quagmire, Olivia Caliban (preferably book canon), Lemony Snicket, Beatrice Baudelaire, Esme Squalor, Fiona Widdershins, Monty, Klaus Baudelaire!! Always love your responses to ask games :)

Hey cygninae! Thanks for the ask!! :)

(Btw for the romantic ones I’m interpreting all of them as if me+the character are the same age)

I would

Marry: Isadora! :) She is one of my favourite characters and marriage would enable us to talk+spend time together a lot! (Also, I’ll admit I find people with goth/emo/that sort of vibe quite attractive) (Although I rarely think of Isadora that way, I just like her character) Plus, I like organising bookshelves and she would have a lot of poetry books to organise so that’d work out!

Drink tea with: Monty;he strikes me as the kind of guy who would have a billion different kinds of tea in his house+have really exciting stories regarding how he got each one! That being said I usually just drink black tea (with sugar+milk) but still, the stories would be fun! Also, in order to drink tea with Monty (Spoilers for The Reptile Room) Monty would need to be alive meaning that either he is revived or I drink tea with him before his death meaning that I can warn him about Olaf!

Or: Beatrice! I feel like she’d be fun to spend time with. We’d probably drink it on top of a roof or something!

Side-note; under no circumstances would I choose Lemony for this one. Tea that is “as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword” sounds disgusting. Ik it’s a VFD proverb so there’s a risk Monty would also drink tea like that however it’s been CONFIRMED (via Kit in TPP) that Lemony conforms to this vile standard of drink so yeah, I wouldn’t trust him to make drinkable tea…🤢

Party with: Quigley! 100%, you just know it’d be fun party if Quigley was involved! Quigley would challenge everyone to Just Dance battles with a bizarre amount of confidence then proceed to lose every round without fail. Would invent a really intense version of capture the flag to play (no matter what kind of party it was) where there is a flag for every country in the world.

Kiss: gonna be real, I don’t really see the appeal of kissing. Ig if it meant we were close in an emotional or romantic sense then one of the Quagmires? Probably Isadora or Duncan? 🤔

Go out on a date with: Duncan Quagmire; he’s sweet+interesting. A date would mean we could spend a lot of time together and I could get the chance to know more about him. Also he’d probably choose the setting of a library or a café for it and those are both good options!

At the same time, I feel like it’d be pretty nice to be loved as deeply as Lemony loves Beatrice so maybe him? 🤔 Plus he has a lot of intriguing stories to share.

Push down the stairs: Beatrice. I mean, she’s already dead so what harm can it do..?

Slap: Olivia (Book Canon) however I slap her whilst she is standing on the edge of a staircase so she falls down those too. Then,when nobody was looking, I put polish on the wooden floor at the bottom of those stairs so that when she tries to get up after falling she slips again. As this is happening, the ‘freaks’ she manipulated into working unpaid at the carnival watch, pointing and laughing much like how the audience at the carnival treated them.

Invade the dreams of: Fiona bc I feel like her dreams would involve a lot of adventures so that’d be exciting! On the other hand, she has most definitely dreamt up at least a few really bizarre species of fish on a few occasions bc of how much time she spends underwater which may be mildly terrifying.

Take a nap with: Klaus Baudelaire. This guy needs the rest :’)

Rob: Esmé! 6th most important financial advisor, you say? Yet you can’t even keep your own finances safe?

Thanks for the ask cygninae!! :)

[cerastes]

Correct review, though I think I ended up liking engage's story more than 3houses due to feeling like it did what it set out to do/didn't have such a high potential that got kinda squandered in execution. I have a very specific question though; is berserker really that weak of a class?? Panette was one of my biggest carries through my first playthrough on hard, though I guess in retrospect that might've had more to do with her personal skill and Ike's ring. Are there any particular classes you think are on the overtuned side in case I try to take a swing at maddening?

I struggle to horizontally compare Three Houses and Engage because they are such different games and stories. I personally like what Three Houses has! I just wish they had the budget and/or time to actually do everything they wanted to do with it, and I also wish they hadn't gone Silent Protagonist with it because I hate Silent Protagonists. Byleth aside, I think it's a wonderful game, it's just, damn, take Edelgard's route, for example, it just ends. "Yippie you beat The Enemies, and then Edelgard and Company will eventually fight Those Who Lurk In The Dark!" while the mural shows on screen and you go directly to credits like ??? what a dogshit way to end the game? But in other aspects, they did a good job worldbuilding and establishing titles, cultural dynamics in each terrain, and intent. I mostly take issue with people claiming Edelgard’s route is flawless and that “Byleth’s sole meaningful decision in the game is being able to side with Edelgard” is some sort of meaningful masterstroke instead of the game obviously being half-baked and having been able to implement the one splitting route instead of the likely multiple intended for the other routes.

Besides that, Three Houses has hands down, easily, the superior narrative. Half-baked as it may have been in ways, it was fun and where it did deliver, it did a great job doing so, giving a very grey narrative that hasn’t The Right Way and lets you have good discussions. My favorite aspect is that Edelgard and Claude basically have 90% the same endgame, in different angles and words, and could’ve perfectly teamed up, yet don’t because both leaders don’t trust each other and are uncompromising to a degree that wouldn’t allow them to work together. That’s amore! So I think there’s reason to like either over the other, for sure (I’m more of a Three Houses guy narratively!)

About Berserker: Yeah, Engage single weapon advanced classes do not have innate Crit, and their class skills, caps and growths are kinda ass compared to the competition. Berserker has very low caps compared to Warrior, having only better Strength and HP by some points, but far lower in everything else that matters to them, Swordmaster growths on Speed and Skill are great but you end up Strength and bulk compromised, and that matters in a game with innate high hit percentages (meaning their high Skill doesn’t matter too much and their lack of bulk is risky). Halberdier is the exception, their skill lets you do easy quads with Brave Lance (and chunkier so with Eirika’s Ring). Warriors and Heroes are the best infantry (along Halberdiers), good caps, good growths, good skills (big Warrior damage on Broken opponents, dual chain attacks for Heroes, weapon variety).

Panette is good with Ike because Panette is good and Ike is good, so Berserker works out. Change her to Warrior and she’ll be even better.

[spikrock]

my mad t party lgbt hcs explained

very messy post below! some are genuine reasonings and others are just "yeah haha trust me bro"

tarrant: bisexual & nonbinary

i mean for all the bi characters the hc is pretty self explanatory, i mean look at them yknow. hes a little too fruity with mally and thackery 🤨 but tarrant and alice are literally bi4bi couple of all time as for the nonbinary hc, i dont know! id like to know if anyone else sees him this way or if its just me :) hes just got too much enby swag 

alice: bisexual & trans

its all spiderwebs fault!!!!!!! it made her gay!!!!!!!!! /j but seriously, kissing ladypillar and different numbers such ho hey (you know how every now and then theyll switch alice standing with mally to someone else like thackery or absolem, the few times she did it with ladypillar are so funny because they cant rhyme the pronouns 😭). also ik this sounds silly but i really appreciate that in the mtp shows once ladypillar was added they didnt stop doing spiderwebs or change it to be like “haha were both girls 😵‍💫blehh this is so weird 😂”/play it off as a joke or anything because they very easily could have done that. shes trans. i already made that post with her and mally but again, if shes not trans then why is her color palette blue and pink? checkmate liberals. 

thackery: bisexual & bigender

yeah hes bi i dont know what else to say he and mally are in love frfr i actually just completely made up bigender. made it up, i dont know where i got it from i just remember early february drawing mad t party on my laptop and suddenly thinking “bigender thackery” and its stuck with me since then. (the two genders i hc him with are male/female though so) i wouldnt say he feels just one or the other, he feels both at the same time

mally: bisexual & trans

he is top ten bisexuals of all time,, whenever they do the pretender and tarrant and alice stand on either side of him and take turns singing he is DYING. passing away HE IS TRANSGENDER!!!!!!! we all know it. instead of coming out as trans he made up some crazy story about being killed in a war and then coming back as a man 🙄/j hes just dramatic like that

chessur: gay & trans

haha this is mostly because of @thatrandomartistjavi's hcs xd chessur is special in the sense that hes the only mtp character that never really gets a chance to flirt with anyone else since hes always hiding behind that drumset. from what ive seen he was shipped with dinah a lot, presumably just cuz theyre both cats since they rarely interact, so ive never really understood it :p i usually hc cheshire cats as nonbinary/something under that umbrella but this guy gives me transgender vibes. idk

absolem/ladypillar(? dont know if she ever got a real name): lesbian & trans

shes very much a lesbian. just. just like yeah. i think the most prominent character that she flirts with (other than alice) is mally. from what ive seen it only really happens when its el dormouse on stage but before i started seeing that i always saw mally/absolem/thackery as like, a trio. i mean obviously everyone in the band are friends, but idk. i have lots of drawings of those three hanging out so maybe thats just something my delusional brain has completely made up. but anyway the point is i dont ship those two and i sort of see them with a more sibling dynamic. mally always holds her back when shes trying to touch the little castle music box thing, at the end of sets he’ll pull her antennae to take her off stage/she'll pull him by his scarf, etc. (also theres a clip where she kisses him on the cheek and as they begin to walk off stage she turns to the crowd and mouths “no” and does the throat slitting gesture thing which makes me think theyre sorta just playing around :p)

sooo in a post a while back i said i hc her as genderfluid but ive changed my mind?? actually before i made that post i headcanoned her as trans but then switched to genderfluid and now ive uhh changed my mind again. im very indecisive like that and very easily swayed on my opinions haha,,, @ticktockteapot's metaphor for her “becoming the beautiful butterfly she was always meant to be” is very nice i like it lots. also the fact that ladypillar has a much higher stage presence than absolem (obviously not including the spiderwebs number…or crazypillar) was always so sweet to me cuz like,,,aw shes finally more comfortable being herself and performing :’)

tl;dr none of them are straight none of them are cis. happy pride month and thank you for coming to my TED talk

[somethinginthethunder]

name of a stranger [1] (camilo x reader)

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

kinda nervous about this so let me know your thoughts so ik whether to continue or not !!

summary: (y/n) and camilo share their bodies and lives with each other, trying to figure out how to navigate this new magical connection. but what happens when they've only got so little time left?

notes: this series is based off the movie 'your name'! it's very good so i suggest you go watch

the beginning of this doesn't really feature camilo but after the first half he'll show up. not in the way you think, though ;) and yes it's a romantic camilo fic, trust me!

and reader is gender neutral! if i make any mistake with that please lmk and i'll fix it.

warnings: bad writing lmaooo enjoy <3

—

“his name is camilo. he told me to give it to you. do you know him somehow?” your mother questioned, handing you a yellow pile of fabric.

letting it unfold you discover it’s a ruana with chameleons skillfully woven on it.

“no? thanks, though… i guess,” you say, more confused than anything else.

despite how nice you thought the clothing was, you put it away under your bed. it wasn’t exactly your style and the fact that it came from some boy that you didn’t know gave you a weird feeling. something, however, kept you from giving it away for a long time.

—

—

—

“(y/n), wake up! mami wants you to pick up your stuff before we leave,” you dear sister yelled, knocking on your door obnoxiously before opening it.

“valentina get out of my room, you rat!” you groan tiredly, throwing a pillow at the crack in the door.

“oh, so you’re normal, now?” she asks, putting a hand on her hip.

your sister tends to say a lot of dumb things, and you expected this to be no different.

“what the hell do you mean?”

“you were acting weird yesterday. actually, nevermind, you always act weird,” she hummed. turning in her place, she walked off into the hallway. “i guess if you’re not getting up then you’re letting me have your special markers for today!”

sitting up abruptly, you pulled off your blanket and scrambled to get your clothes on. there was no way you were going to let her touch your birthday present, her grubby little fingers would ruin them!

“val i swear you touch those markers and you’re dead!”

the idea that you had been acting weird yesterday didn’t really leave your mind. especially when your mother had something to say about it.

“you feeling better today, dear?” she asked as you walked into the kitchen, setting down a box of markers on the table.

“yeah? why are you guys being weird?”

instead of answering you in the way you had hoped, she just put on a small smile and gave you and your sister your lunch, murmuring quietly, “have a good day at school, kids.”

since she didn’t try and elaborate you told yourself it meant you shouldn’t care. and with that, you opened the door to leave with your sister.

the air was cold and almost suffocating. there were people everywhere, bumping into you at least once every five seconds. the walk was usually thirty minutes because of its distance but you had come to not mind it, instead taking it as an opportunity to daydream.

this city of yours was fine. your family was alright and your life was anything but terrible. this didn’t stop you from wishing, though, for some sort of change.

when you got to school your classmates had been giggling and pointing at you all day. leaning your head to the side you whisper to valentina, “why is everyone acting like that?”

your little sister scoffed, “what, do you have amnesia or something? you were being weird. you stared at yourself in the mirror for at least 10 minutes in the morning, acted nice to maria, forgot where your first class was, and told manuel to go screw himself!”

“what? no way!” you deny, sitting down at your desk.

maria, the rudest girl you’ve ever met didn’t even deserve a decent smile. and manuel? the guy you’ve had a crush on? you being rude to him? that was rich. you were sure now that there had to be some sort of prank going on.

you flipped to your most recent notes to see where you left off when something catches your eye: a simple phrase written in a handwriting that wasn’t yours.

‘who are you?’

—

the next day you woke up to the sound of your door being knocked on (again).

“stop it, valentina! i’m up, jeez,” you yell, your heart stopping when you hear your voice. was that you speaking?

“what the hell…” you whisper, the voice the same. it was your voice! but it was different.

“i don’t know who valentina is but camilo madrigal you better get up for your chores or abuela will be on you in a snap!” someone yelled.

abuela? your grandmother passed away two years ago. and who was that yelling at the door? wait a minute.

you sat up.

this wasn’t even your room!

it was way bigger than yours, chameleons placed around everywhere in subtle ways. across “your” bed was a mirror, and the face that stared back at you certainly wasn’t yours.

your normal hair had been traded in for a head of brown curls, your eyes big with surprise and face suddenly yours?

were your eyes tricking you or did you just turn back into yourself? was the boy you were before camilo? you had no clue what was going on.

“ay, i need an answer! get up this instant or-” a woman with light skin and reddish brown hair barged into the room. she already looked ready for the day, with a yellow hairband and dress to compliment her features. “hijo? are you okay? who did you transform into?”

the mention of the name of this boy allowed your body to turn back into him as you realized that woman was the mother of this person. coughing, you made up a lame excuse.

“nobody! i’m fine. lo siento, mami,” you stutter. “um… what are my chores for today?”

“what are your chores? you’ve been doing this for years, you should already know…." she paused. “are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

taking this as an opportunity to get out of doing some stranger’s chores, you shook your head.

“i’ll get julieta, okay? just get yourself dressed and we’ll see what's going on,” she continued, closing the door behind her as she yelled for said woman.

oh boy, you had a feeling you were in trouble.

[jjacob]

all i want for christmas is you

❝ the school had started to take notice of you. lee juyeon, however, had always noticed. ❞

PAIRING ▸ lee juyeon x fem!reader (ft. best friend!lee minho)

GENRES ▸ fluff, high school au, sports au, best friends to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ mild profanity but !! lots of !! fluff !! 

SUMMARY ▸ the bet was simple: find a date to the winter ball. the only problem was that juyeon didn’t want just any girl. he wanted you.

PLAYLIST ▸ all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey

WORD COUNT ▸ 5055 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ merry christmas! this is a gift for addy @honeyju​ the biggest juyeon simp ik !! ily addy i am excited/scared/not emotionally ready to read the minho one which ! btw y’all should read here bc our stories are loosely connected! also disclaimer: i know jack shit ab football but i tried

LEE JUYEON TENDED TO REGRET HALF THE THINGS HE SAID SOMETIMES. 

In eighth grade, Juyeon’s sense of humor was largely self-deprecating and consisted of saying he wanted to die at the slightest inconvenience. But, with his spectacular timing, he let the joke slip in front of a teacher once and froze up upon seeing her concerned expression. Juyeon later received a note from the counselor’s office and had to convince them that he was perfectly fine.

In tenth grade, Juyeon had grown past his phase of dark humor and moved onto high school football. He made the cut for the team the previous year, and managed to make it on the varsity team by the time he was a sophomore. In the beginning of the season, they asked who wanted to be captain the next year, and Juyeon boldly declared that he did. Thus, he was ridiculed and sentenced to pick up balls and clean up the gym after every practice from then on.

Now, as a high school junior in the varsity football team, Juyeon had screwed himself over by making a stupid bet with his best friend, Lee Minho.

Lee Minho was, in short, a conniving bastard. Juyeon never should have trusted him and gone along with his antics. The mere thought of what he had gotten himself into was enough to send his heart into overdrive.

The bet sounded simple enough: find a date to the Winter Ball.

Of course, it was easier said than done, but Juyeon was a star athlete and had girls sliding in his DMs left and right. He could easily find a date if he wanted to, and, honestly, Juyeon only needed to send a few texts and he would probably be secured for the dance. The problem was, however, that Juyeon only wanted you.

Minho was well aware of Juyeon’s pitiful, unrequited love towards you. It was probably the reason he suggested the bet; his best friend either wanted to see him miserable or see him score a chance with you. Either way, Juyeon wasn’t sure his heart was ready to shoot his shot.

Juyeon had crushed on you ever since you sat next to him in the seventh grade and let him borrow your pencil. It was such a silly start to his admiration for you, but his feelings grew stronger when the both of you actually became friends. You were so bright when you laughed, so sweet when you spoke, and so adorable when you smiled. Juyeon had never felt this way about anyone else and always got butterflies when he saw you. Juyeon was never one to chase after girls but he would find himself constantly thinking about what you were up to and having several internal dilemmas over whether he should ask you to hang out or not.

Five years later and Juyeon still harbored feelings for you. Now, they had matured into something deeper, but you still racked his brain nevertheless. It didn’t help that you had a major glow-up in high school and were probably the most beautiful person Juyeon had ever seen.

The school started to take notice of you.

Juyeon, on the other hand, had always noticed.

“Are you sure we can finish a medium before practice?” Minho asked Juyeon, setting a box of pizza on the table in front of him. “Also, I saw Y/N by the gym earlier.”

Juyeon perked up. “Y/N?”

“Yeah,” Minho replied, grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza for himself. “You know what day it is, right?”

Minho took a bite out of his pizza, observing Juyeon with a raised brow. His best friend was on the baseball team but treating themselves to pizza had become a monthly ritual. Despite being on different teams, he was closer to Minho than his football teammates.

“Thursday?”

“And that means?”

Right.

Juyeon had formulated an elaborate plan to ask you out during the football game today, but, of course, it all depended on whether their team won or not. It would have been kind of ridiculous to propose after a loss. On the bright side, he knew he could count on the fact that you’d actually be present considering you were a cheerleader.

But what if you already had a date? You surely hadn’t mentioned it to him or posted about it on social media, so he was riding on an assumption that you haven’t been asked. That was bizarre to Juyeon, though, because you were the prettiest person he had ever seen. However, it was true that you were gradually getting popular, and that made Juyeon a touch nervous.

“I ask her out tomorrow,” Juyeon breathed out. “Am I ready for this?”

Minho scoffed lightly. “Are you ever?”

Juyeon frowned at his best friend, scrunching up his nose at his distasteful comment. “What about you? Have you gotten a date?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

Juyeon sighed. That was probably all he would get out of Lee Minho today. Once Minho set his mind on something, he carried it out diligently until the end. Juyeon honestly had no idea who he wanted to bring since Minho didn’t like talking about girls he was interested in, but he supposed it wasn’t that big of a deal as long as his best friend was happy.

It wasn’t like Juyeon was never going to hear about his friend’s endeavors. After all, he did pick up on Minho’s slow descent from an apathetic individual to a whipped ball of fluff. If Juyeon mentioned that to his best friend, however, he would probably be ridiculed for consistently being whipped for you since the seventh grade.

Juyeon nearly jumped out of his seat at the sound of his ringer going off. He scrambled to pull his phone out of his pocket, ignoring Minho’s teasing smirk at the sight of his frazzled self.

y/n: hey :) i’m gonna drop off some gingerbread cookies my mom made after practice so lmk when i can come over

Juyeon must have saved a country in a past life for this kind of luck.

juyeon: i love your mom’s cookies. you can come over whenever you’d like

y/n: how about we walk home together after practice?

juyeon: sounds good to me

Now, the pizza was starting to make his mouth water, but if you were walking home with him, Juyeon was ready to drop it and run to see you even though he loved pizza. But Juyeon loved you more than he loved pizza, and he believed that was true love.

“She made me cookies,” Juyeon announced.

“She made you cookies,” Minho repeated, leaning forward in surprise.

“Well, her mom did, but yeah.”

Minho turned his attention back to his pizza. “So this is about your mommy kink again.”

“I don’t have a fucking mommy—why would you say that?” Juyeon cried out, kicking his friend’s shin under the table.

“You don’t? Last time I checked, she was making dinner in the kitchen when I came over yesterday.”

“I’m talking about the kink!”

Yet, even a silly back-and-forth with Minho couldn’t get Juyeon down from his high over you. He was still processing the fact that you were going to walk home with him and, if Juyeon played his cards right, maybe he could get a feel of how comfortable you would be if he asked you out during the game tomorrow.

Minho snickered. “You look happy.”

Juyeon couldn’t even mask his lovesick smile and flushed cheeks. He folded his arms on the table in front of him and buried his face in them, his head spinning at the thought of you.

“Shut up, Minho.”

The only problem with you being on the cheerleading team was that you were extremely distracting.

Juyeon was the star quarterback and frankly, it was kind of pathetic that the one thing that kicked him in the ass was seeing you in the knee socks and pom-poms. It didn’t help that you were a flyer so Juyeon’s stomach pitted with anxiety whenever he saw you being thrown up and whenever he heard a scream coming from the direction of the cheerleaders.

Today was different, though. Juyeon could care less about the screams and falls from the corner of the field. All he could think about was you and how he was going to ask you out. If his plan was going to work, it was going to draw a lot of attention and be quite embarrassing if it failed.

All of his confidence got knocked down with a single sweep when he saw someone asked you to the dance.

One of the cheerleaders broke into a fit of giggles at the sight, clasping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god!”

You were frozen stiff, an awkward smile on your face as the guy walked onto the field with a sign and about a dozen roses. Juyeon could feel his heart sinking to the ground with each step the guy took, with each second his smile grew brighter.

“Is he seriously confessing during practice?” Sohn Youngjae asked, brows furrowed as he rested his arm on Juyeon’s shoulder. “That’s real brave.”

“What’s his deal doing it here? He isn’t even on the team,” Juyeon said, coming off more bitter than he had expected.

Younghoon scoffed. “It’s a bold move. He must be confident that Y/N’s going to say yes.”

Juyeon squared his shoulders. He was conflicted with the swell of anger and deflation of you possibly being taken, but nevertheless, all he could do was watch helplessly as you were being asked out. From where they were on the field, Juyeon couldn’t hear much, but he could see your reactions quite well. The wolf-whistles and cheers were pissing him off, but he was fixed on you.

He turned to look towards Minho, who was practicing on the field adjacent to theirs. His best friend met his gaze immediately like they had some form of exclusive telepathic communication. Minho nodded towards you and raised a brow, as if nudging Juyeon to go interrupt them. That, however, was something he was far too cowardly to bring himself to do.

Your voice resounded clearer than Juyeon had expected.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized sincerely, ducking your head and keeping your hands entwined behind you. “I’m not interested, but I do appreciate the gesture.”

Juyeon felt a weight lift off of his chest. He wasn’t sure if he should’ve felt relieved that you shot him down or nervous that you rejected an attractive, confident guy who clearly liked you. However, he soon had no time to mull over that when the guy’s reaction was getting more aggressive than crestfallen.

“Y/N, I asked you out in front of all these people,” he said with a distasteful laugh. “Are you seriously rejecting me right now?”

“Sorry, I just don’t want to go with you,” you replied firmly, voice dropping as you became more conscious of your surroundings. “I’m sorry it had to be public but you didn’t really give me a choice.”

For a split second, Juyeon wondered how he could still hear you when you were practically muttering at this point, and then he realized that he started walking to you without even realizing. His feet carried him unknowingly, hand balled at his side and eyes stony and trained on the guy.

“You could’ve just accepted it and told me later that you didn’t want to go with me,” he said with a scoff. “It’s like you enjoy humiliating others publicly.”

Your teammates rushed forward to argue and fend him off while you opened your mouth to protest, but Juyeon was faster, moving in front of you so he was head-to-head with the guy.

“She said she’s not interested,” he said with a threatening undertone, wondering where he managed to muster up the courage to be this assertive.

You were visibly shocked by Juyeon’s actions, and he couldn’t even blame you because he was equally just as surprised as you were. Yet, all he could do was glare daggers down at the other guy with steely eyes and frown until he backed off.

“Thanks,” you said softly once the guy had left.

Juyeon was flustered by all the girls giggling behind you but was amazed by how cool and collected you remained despite that. He turned to you, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He knew he was getting an earful about this from his teammates after practice and most definitely from Minho as well.

“No problem,” Juyeon replied, cheeks red. “He was bothering you. I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“That was really sweet of you, Juyeon.” You bit back a smile and suggested, “Meet you at the front gates after practice?”

“See you then.”

Even though Juyeon could’ve spent the rest of practice talking to you, he sprinted back as fast as he could because his cheeks were only getting redder as the cheerleaders gushed about what he did for you. He could hear their gossip and whispering even as he was running back to his team. Juyeon was positive he wouldn’t escape the embarrassment, though, because Lee Jaehyun was smirking at him when he got back.

“You’re blushing, dude.”

Juyeon shoved him.

There was a universal law that was newly decreed. It read: Lee Minho shall never text, call, or speak to Lee Juyeon whenever Y/N was around.

The reason for that being the fact that Juyeon was easily embarrassed and Minho’s texts were not helping his case. He felt it was rude enough to check his phone while he was walking with you, but every time he saw a notification flash, his eyes widened with sheer distress over Minho’s texts.

minho: like three people asked me if you and y/n are fucking bc of what you pulled during practice today

minho: wait are y’all fucking and just not telling me

minho: i knew it was sus that she was coming over to your house

juyeon: fake news!! stop making me feel shy :(

Juyeon decided he had enough Lee Minho for today and turned off his phone.

“That was honestly the coolest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” you gushed to Juyeon as you walked home with him, fingers looped around the straps of your backpack. “Way cooler than you punting footballs.”

“No need to flatter me,” Juyeon replied coolly but his shy smile and red-tipped ears said otherwise. “That guy was being unnecessarily aggressive.”

“His proposal was out of nowhere!” you exclaimed. “I don’t get what he expected me to do.”

Juyeon smiled through the pain. Lord, give me strength, he prayed to whatever divine power was out there.

“Are you not interested in having a date to the dance then?” Juyeon asked, looking down at you curiously.

You paused for a moment and Juyeon thought his heart would stop in anticipation for your answer. Come to think of it, he had never seen you go to a school dance with a date before. You were always with your friend group. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to see you stick with them, but Juyeon was hoping he could change that.

“Well,” you started, “if the right person asked me then I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Juyeon couldn’t exactly read your smile but it made him want to faint. The rest of the walk back home was spent talking about school and football, but Juyeon couldn’t get your answer to his question out of his head. He even walked past his house because his head was so full of you, resulting in you needing to stop him and tell him that they had already reached his place.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you!” Juyeon’s mom chirped with a good-natured smile. “How has your mom been?”

Juyeon’s eyes widened upon the realization that they never stopped by at your place first to get the cookies. He opened his mouth to interject but you went on to answer.

“She’s been great, Mrs. Lee,” you replied, smiling just as big, and pulled out a box of cookies from your bag. “She wanted me to give these to you.”

“That’s so sweet! Give her my thanks,” his mom replied and opened the door wider once she accepted the cookies. “Come in for some tea, will you?”

Juyeon was practically frozen at the doorway while you were taking off your shoes and walking inside. If you had the cookies with you this entire time, then why didn’t you just give them to him to take home himself? Unless you were worried about the courtesy, it was a bit out of your way to take the time to walk home with Juyeon to deliver them.

“Juyeon, what are you doing out there?” his mom asked. “Come inside. It’s cold.”

“Right.”

Having you over at his house wasn’t exactly the sparkly fantasy that Juyeon thought it would be.

He was getting quite jealous of your mom hogging all of your attention. It wasn’t like you and Juyeon drifted apart during high school, so he wasn’t sure why his mom had to pull you away from him and have her own conversation with you. The worst part was that Juyeon couldn’t even join in on the conversation. He had no idea what they were even talking about.

That is, until his mom brought up the dance.

“Do you have a date, Y/N?” Juyeon’s mom asked.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I usually just go with my friends.”

“You’re so pretty, though,” Mrs. Lee tutted. “I’m sure someone must’ve asked you out.”

“Actually, someone asked me today,” you said. There was a moment of silence as you looked over at Juyeon while his gaze bore into yours. For a moment, you were struggling for what to say, mouthing words that weren’t being processed. Juyeon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly once you regained your composure. “Juyeon actually helped me out.”

Mrs. Lee straightened up. “My son did?” She looked amused as she turned to Juyeon.

“Yeah,” you answered, grinning. “He was really cool.”

Juyeon blushed darkly once their eyes were on him. “W-what? I couldn’t ignore it. I wasn’t even doing that much. I was just helping out. You know, being a decent person,” he rambled and stood up. “Anyways, isn’t it getting late? Mom, Y/N has to go home soon and it’s gonna be pitch black outside if you keep her here.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Mrs. Lee frowned as she peered out the window. “Juyeon, you walk her home then.”

“What?” he sputtered out, looking between you and his mom before he caved, muttering, “I’ll go get my jacket.”

After an exchange of goodbyes, you had stepped out of the house and waited while Juyeon was slipping his shoes on. There was a moment of struggle where he had tied his laces too tight and couldn’t get the shoe on but he managed to slip it on after a few seconds of internal screaming. Juyeon zipped up his jacket the moment he stepped outside, the brisk coldness making his goosebumps rise.

“You really don’t have to walk me back,” you told Juyeon. “It’s cold outside.”

“It’s really late,” Juyeon replied, rubbing his hands together in hopes that the friction would provide some heat. “You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself, and I really don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, ducking your face. “For this, for what you did during practice—everything.”

Juyeon was glad that you weren’t looking at him because his mouth was opening and closing over and over again like a fish. He was also thankful for the fact that he could blame the dust of pink across his cheeks on the cold winter bite. Unfortunately, you lived close by so Juyeon didn’t have time to come up with a cool response and he didn’t want to leave things like this. There was a good vibe going on and he was upset that he couldn’t act upon it; when it came to you, Lee Juyeon was a coward.

“Um, we’re here so…” Juyeon trailed off when he turned to you, sort of thrown off by how beautiful you looked with your windswept hair and flushed cheeks. Dazed, he reached forward and moved a strand of your hair out of your face. “It’s good I walked you home and you’re not like, lost or… something—I’ll shut up now.”

You laughed, and it was an octave higher as if you were rattled from him touching your hair. “Ah, yes, a few streets down can be a harrowing trek.”

Juyeon laughed with you before his eyes settled on you. Your hands were crossed, rubbing your arms that were prickled with goosebumps. A wave of guilt washed through Juyeon and led him to strip his jacket off immediately. He ignored the piercing chill and put his jacket around your shoulders, making sure they covered your bare arms.

“My house is right here,” you argued. “You’re going to be cold.”

“Keep it on. I have something to tell you after the game,” Juyeon said firmly. It was his second burst of courage for you today and he was a little too amped up for his own good. “If you don’t like it then give me back my jacket tomorrow.”

Before you could respond, Juyeon turned on his heel and bolted home, the biggest grin across his face because he was head-over-heels for you.

Juyeon had never been so nervous in his life.

The game was underway, Juyeon’s leg bouncing as he eyeballed the scoreboard. His team was strong in the first two quarters, cutting it close by the third, but now they were neck-to-neck. They had ended with a tie and now they decided to go into overtime for the sake of choosing a winner for the game. It was a sudden death round so whoever scored first would win the game. Juyeon, however, found it difficult to concentrate.

Especially with Lee Minho breathing down his back.

“Are you ready?” his best friend asked.

“Yes—well, no, but I don’t really have a choice.”

“That’s true.”

“I already made the sign and told the team and everything,” Juyeon whined. “I really screwed myself over, Minho.”

Minho pushed at the back of his head. “Dude, I’m talking about the game.”

“Oh, that—that’s fine,” Juyeon stammered. “Fifteen minutes—we just have to win, and then I have to ask out the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“You could chicken out,” Minho suggested, “but that also comes with me never letting you live it down.”

“You see, I kind of already implied that I’m going to tell her something important.”

“You did?” Minho’s voice was somewhere between shocked and impressed.

“Shit, I gotta go,” Juyeon muttered, pushing himself off the bench. “Keep the poster safe for me!”

“Good luck, champ!”

Juyeon, sweaty and bangs sticking to his forehead, had to ignore every distraction and think about winning the game before his stomach threw itself into a pool of anxiety over asking you out. He got in a huddle with his team in the remaining fifteen seconds they had before they had to get in formation and lowered the facemask of his helmet. It was up to this one last play to determine whether they would win the game or not.

“Just like we practiced, alright?” Juyeon told them. “Double-wing power pass. We get them to bite thinking it’s a run play and then open up a passing lane.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Jaehyun cheered, and the rest of them put in their mouth guards and lowered their facemasks.

Juyeon took a shaky breath as he got in formation at the line of scrimmage. His heart was racing but he wasn’t sure it was about the game. Nevertheless, he steeled his nerves and held his ground. The whistle blew and the crowd was silent, observing the tension on the field carefully.

“Silver-80! Silver-80! Hut! Hut! Hike!” Juyeon yelled, and the center, Sangyeon, snapped the ball to him.

Juyeon faked a handoff to Jaehyun, the fullback, and spun around, rolling to his right. Changmin sped up in front of Juyeon to defend him. A smile tugged at Juyeon’s lips. Their plan was working just as he intended, but there was a problem: they couldn’t open up a passing lane for the running backs like he thought they would. The play was too rushed, so it wasn’t ever a guarantee.

So Juyeon had to do what he would normally deem crazy.

He spun at the sight of the other team coming to tackle him and skirted around the field, belting down the field. He dodged past another linebacker that tried to body him. His primary motivation was that he didn’t want a concussion before he confessed to you, but he assumed it was okay to admit that to himself as long as he didn’t throw the game.

Juyeon felt a hand grab him but he pushed forward, running across the goal line and into the end zone. He threw the ball down and cried out in joy as he scored a touchdown. The whistle blew and the scoreboard flipped. They won.

He did it.

Juyeon’s team ran to him, cheering at the top of their lungs. He was lifted up on Jaehyun and Younghoon’s shoulders, grinning happily before his heart sunk back down. The cheerleaders ran to the field, cheering and tossing their pom poms up. The crowd was roaring. Juyeon was realizing that he had to do the scariest thing that a heterosexual teenage boy ever had to experience.

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun,” Juyeon tapped his shoulder quickly. “We have no time. I have to do it now.”

“Oh shit.”

Jaehyun and Younghoon dropped Juyeon onto the turf. Juyeon winced at the sudden impact, gathering himself back to his feet and hoping you didn’t witness that. Jaehyun gave him a half-assed apology and pushed him forward to run and get his poster and flowers from Minho. Jaehyun then grabbed Changmin by the shoulders, urging him to go to the announcer’s booth.

Juyeon sprinted over to Minho, waving his hands dramatically. “Give, give, give,” he demanded amongst all the cheering.

Minho didn’t waste any time and pushed the poster and bouquet into Juyeon’s hands. “Break a leg, tiger.”

“Trust me, I nearly did.”

Juyeon jogged back onto the field, cheeks hot and head a little dizzy for what was about to come. He didn’t even tell his mom he was going to ask you out and she had to watch her son ask his best friend out to the dance. This was probably going to be a moment of utter humiliation but once Juyeon saw you in your high ponytail with a bright smile on your face, all that fear faded away and it was just you and him.

More importantly, you were wearing his jacket over your uniform and Juyeon felt like he was going to combust from the cuteness.

“Guys, guys,” Jaehyun called to the team. “Surround Juyeon. Make sure Y/N doesn’t see him.”

Juyeon’s heart was beating a hundred miles per second. He was glad he was running on the adrenaline from winning the game because otherwise, he would be cowering in fear and sweating buckets right now.

“Everyone, listen up!” Changmin spoke over the intercom. “First of all, the football team scored a major dub today—ow! Sunwoo, cut it out—alright, I’ll get to it!” Changmin broke from the mic and started bickering with Sunwoo.

There was a pause, and Juyeon was surprised to hear Minho’s voice fill the speakers, “Anyways, my buddy and our star quarterback, Juyeon, has something to say for a special someone.”

The crowd fell silent, a couple cheers and wolf-whistles as it was pretty obvious that a confession was about to happen.

“This is so fucking fluffy,” Sunwoo mumbled.

“Shut up, Sunwoo,” Juyeon replied, nudging him with his elbow.

The football team moved out of the way so that they weren’t huddled around Juyeon anymore. Juyeon’s breath caught in his throat as he walked forward to the middle of the field, holding up his sign, reading: Will you be my sunshine?

“Y/N,” he called out loudly, “honestly this confession is long overdue, but will you go to Winter Ball with me tonight and be my sunshine?”

The crowd started cheering and whistling again, and Juyeon wanted to die. She hadn’t even given him her answer yet and everyone was acting like she had agreed and they eloped. The cheerleaders pushed Y/N forward and she approached Juyeon, looking like a deer in headlights.

Juyeon took another shaky breath and continued, “I’ve been in love with you for so long so it would be an honor if I could take you to the dance,” he said and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you.”

You bit your lip but that wasn’t enough to contain the happiness that showed on your face. You zipped up Juyeon’s jacket and threw yourself into his arms. Everyone practically exploded but Juyeon was sure his heartbeat was louder. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into your shoulder.

Was this what people called a Christmas miracle?

“Oh shit!” Changmin screamed over the intercom. (“Shut up, they’re having a moment,” Minho’s faint voice was picked up in the background).

“Oh my god, you just made me the happiest man alive,” he mumbled.

You pulled back and reached forward to move his damp bangs off of his forehead. “Took you long enough.”

“Wait, did you—did you like me?” Juyeon choked out.

You laughed and cupped his face in your hands. There was a shaky inhale and exhale of breaths when his lips brushed against yours, and Juyeon closed the distance, kissing you like he was starved of your touch. His hold tightened on you as you melted into him, and then you both pulled away, smiling and dazed and lovesick.

You giggled. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, grinning as he brushed his nose against yours.

Juyeon could care less about all the presents and holiday cheer because he had you and you were all he wanted.

[bbienha]

enhypen as “enemies to lovers” trope

heeseung<3

warnings: none

it’d be a one-sided hatred

although he never knew why you were always glaring at him during class

or why you were always speaking of him rudely he never went out his way to find out why

everyone was aware of your hatred for him

he was aware, he just didn’t care

that wasn’t until you two were forced to help out with the senior dance along with the student council as extra helpers

because you two hadn’t participated in any class/team building actives that year

your friends froze slightly laughing thinking about the fact that’s you’d and heeseung would “hang out” non stop for the next 2 weeks

as long as you avoided him there would be no problems? don’t make this harder for yourself.

JUST AVOID HIM!

turns out trying to ignore him was a lot harder than expected

it was either ‘teamwork 🥺’ or doing the work all by yourself

and you being the stubborn petty bitch you are,,

ended up carrying majority of the work while he hung out with his senior friends

it was 7pm after school on a winters night

you two had finished moving all the big boxes of decorations, plates, tables etc (i say you two but it was basically all you)

and you were sitting outside the bus stop swinging your feet back and forward

“gosh he’s so annoying he doesn’t even do any work” you mumbled kicking the rocks underneath your feet

if anybody were to ask you why you hated lee heeseung, one of the chillest people in school, so much? you wouldn’t have been able to answer

by now this memory of yours has been long forgotten but the feelings within are still there

6 year old heeseung and 6 year old y/n at the park running around like children do

(6 year old) y/n say on the swing for at least 30 minutes

or what felt like 30 minutes to heeseung

before he took matters into his own hands and pushed them

it wasn’t his intention to but you flew off the swing grazing your knee on the bark beneath

ever since then you swore to never be friends with people like him

it was dramatic of course but you were 6?! what else would’ve you said

but here you are 18 no memory of that incident whatsoever but still holding a grudge against him because that’s all you’ve ever known

heeseung was too waiting for his bus, actually he was catching the same bus as you

usually he would catch number 12 but it was night and this was the only route left

it was also the fastest route but he never had taken it

he lived on the same street as you, same class, same year, same after school activities yet he barely ever saw you around

that’s because he knew about your little annoyance for him

sometimes he would wonder what he did wrong

“should i go up to them and ask?”

“did i say something wrong?”

he often thought about confronting you but then again you two had never had a conversation past “hello” “*dead silence*”

he would take longer routes home, different buses to school and change his schedule for asa (after school activities) because he didn’t want to burden you

so there he stood, 5 feet away in the rain, trying to hide away from you so you wouldn’t get mad

maybe that’s why you disliked him?

because he never worked for anything yet you two had the same social status.

ahhh that must be why!

so the next day he put more effort into what he did

you didn’t understand why, and you were more confused than ever when he snatched the heavy cardboard boxes form your hands

“i can take this”

“i’ll hang this”

“don’t worry, sit down, i’ll fix the fridge”

something inside of you started to bubble a similar feeling to when yesterday when you wanted to punch his guys out for not helping

but also different... probably because he WAS helping now

“whatever” you scoffed letting him do all the work

hey? maybe this is fair. you did yesterday’s and he can do today

heeseung was stunned but kept his mouth shut as he didn’t wnat to get on your bad side

“y/n” he calls out for help

gosh he can’t do anything by himself can he?

even his voice irritates you but when you walk over to him, you find yourself with a badly made cupcake and a sorry note

wtfff is this? you think to urself

and for the first time in 12 years heeseung finds the courage to ask why you were so distant

silence

it wasn’t that you were trying to be rude but more you didn’t have an answer to give him

“ahh” he nodded awkwardly

“i guess some things are meant to be kept secret?” he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he had picked up from watching american tv shows

you tapped your foot on the ground all suddenly realising you were being rude for no reason

a arrow of guilt had shot right through your heart and you didn’t know what to do now

“don’t worry” he smiled brightly “i’ll prove to you why you can trust me :) i’m hard working too yk?”

and there you were, stunned. never in your life had you talked to him for so long

so now you were just bring down on your lip hoping to run away

“alright. cool” you say and leave him be.

the next 2 weeks were exactly as he said, he went above and beyond for this senior dance

not only finding more to add to the night but cheaper and better events for the nights

this was a job for the student council yet here he was helping as if he was son of them

anddd he too had also warmed up to you as well

you had to admit the past few days of his constant nagging and clingy behaviour did erupt some kind of feeling in your stomach

and heeseung as well felt comforted knowing he wasn’t n.1 on your hit list anymore

“so what to you think?” he asked passing you a cola can

“of?”

“of me? do you still hate me?”

GUILT GUILT GUILT GUILT

“w-what are you talking about?! i never hated you!!! don’t try make me a bad person” you rambled making sure he wouldn’t misunderstand you like you did to him

he laughed “ik ik i’m just joking”

even after a very very long 12 years of hating his perfect set of teeth and bright grin you can’t help return the smile

in the max of 14 days he had you regretting every thought you use to have

there would be a small conversation about the dance and who you and your friends were going with

until it dawned on you, nobody had asked you out

i mean who would after your scary persona with the school

“so then, would you... like to go with me?”

you accepted it of course but made it very clear to him you were only doing this because you didn’t want to seem lonely

right?

on the night of the dance, you were the best person of the night

absolutely stunning!

at least to heeseung because he couldn’t take his eyes off of you

from then on, you weren’t known as “heeseungs personal hater 🥶” but now as his s/o

(and apparently the one who makes him the most happy, said his friends)

next is jay

[mxchellesworld]

Helping Hand

Spencer Reid x Reader

*tw below* please read the info before the fic and proceed with caution

Request; Hey Ik that this may be super dark and feel free to skip it if you want but I was wondering if you could do a BAU! Reader where she has an eating disorder and Spencer realizes it and tries to help her through it while not alerting the team per her request. I’m not trying to romanticize eating disorders at all and I totally get it if it’s to hard

Warnings; eating disorders, mentions of throwing up, starving

a/n; this request hit me hard because these are things that i struggle with to this day. over the summer i dove into a really bad pit so many of the instances mentioned are based off of things i have done. i feel like this really helped me put something negative into a place of comfort. please know i am not trying to romanticize eating disorders or invalidate any other aspects i didn’t mention. 

if you need help please reach out to someone you trust or a professional, its not easy but i promise people are there to help :)

You didn’t know what triggered it.

That was a lie, you did. You just chose not to acknowledge it and act like everything was fine. Why place the blame on someone or something else when it was just your fault. 

Maybe it was when you noticed how much easier the girls got into dresses whenever you went shopping. JJ was easily a size 0, looking as stunning and glowing as ever in the little dresses you guys would pick out for her to try on. How she could so swiftly slide in, never having to ask to a size up or help with getting the zipper up past her back. 

Maybe it was when you did that yoga class you saw how good everyone looked. Even after the intense class the other participants came out glistening and smiling in their matching sports sets. While you on the other hand had sweat stains trailing on the neck of your old gym shirt. Why had a workout made you feel worse about yourself than you did when you started?

Then it was like every little instance was adding up. Pushing and pushing you back into old habits you thought you had outgrown. At first you got the excitement of seeing the quick progress. Within two weeks you could see the small changes. But that was mostly your mind tricking you. As the months went on then you knew the progress you were making was in more than just your head.

It felt so good walking into work and hearing the hoots of

“wow you look so good!”

“that top looks so nice on you”

“you look different now, but its a good different”

That just fueled the need to keep going. You didn’t think anyone would notice because whenever anyone would ask what your secret was you’d say “Oh I’ve been trying fasting.” or “I just workout more often.” Which wasn’t a lie but of course you couldn’t tell them to what extreme. 

You couldn’t mention how 16 hour fasts soon turned into 20 then a whole day surviving off coffee and gum. How those workouts were never for your enjoyment. How you would rack up as many sit ups as you could just to burn off any extra calories possible. 

Or how you couldn’t eat a meal normally anymore. If you weren’t counting the calories you would make that trip into the bathroom and try to get rid of the contents of your stomach.

However someone did notice - Spencer. He was your best friend and you guys used to spend everyday together. So when you started to pull away it caught him off guard. He thought that maybe he had done something to offend you. Then when he had asked you about it and you shrugged it off he was thrown for a loop. 

Then he really saw it. After your talk you started hanging out with him again but he noticed you always refused any outings where food was involved. Even then he noticed that you would pick around your food, never fully finishing the meals you used to one love. 

Or at work instead of going down to the food truck for lunch, you would decline saying you weren’t hungry or that you had a big breakfast. 

How during cases you would get dizzy spells and be tired more often. He used to have to keep up with you and Morgan always having bursts of energy out there but now he was keeping an eye out to make sure you didn’t pass out on the field. 

He knew he had to say something when he noticed the tears in your eyes while out at dinner with the team. You had picked out a small salad, tossing the green leaves around the plate and taking minimal bites. Then desert came and you shared a few bites of chocolate cake with Emily. Shortly after you had excused yourself to the restroom, coming back a few minutes later with your lipstick gone and watery eyes. He knew what you did in there. 

At first he was upset with himself for not noticing sooner. He knew what it was like to go through a tough time without support and he didn’t want his best friend to have to deal with something on their own. He would do anything he could to try and help. 

When walking out of the restaurant he came up to you, “Hey Y/n, do you want me to take you home so you don’t have to get on the metro?”

“Yeah Spence that’d be great thank you,” you said smiling at him and walking to his car. 

The ride to your house was spent listening to music. He let you play with the radio, seeing how you perked up to the music, emitting a happiness he hadn’t seen on you in a while. 

Arriving at your apartment you invited him in to watch a movie and catch up. You handed him some sweatpants and a t-shirt he had left from past sleep overs which he took into the bathroom to change. You met back in the living room. You had on a big sweatshirt, sweatpants, and fuzzy socks. 

“Y/n you look like it’s gonna start snowing in here,” he said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood. 

“Damn near. I’ve been so cold recently.”

He tried to stop the fact from coming up but his brain wouldn’t let him keep it down, “feeling cold is one of the leading symptoms of an eating disorder including fatigue, sleeping issues, and irregular menstrual cycles.” 

You both sat there with wide eyes. Neither of you knowing what to say. You looked down and started picking at your nails, chewing on the inside of your lip. 

“When did you know,” you asked still not looking up. 

“A little while ago but I didn’t know how to bring it up,” he started, “I- I didn’t want to say anything to upset you. I just want to be here for you Y/n in any way I can.”

You looked up to meet his eyes which were also getting glossy, “The shine in your eyes is gone. You don’t eat the pasta Rossi brings or Penelope’s cupcakes anymore. You’re hurting yourself Y/n and I couldn’t live with myself if anything bad was to happen.”

You shifted in your seat on the couch to get yourself in his embrace. You sighed as Spencer wrapped his arms around you, letting out the sob you felt was stuck in your throat for months. 

“I’m sorry Spencer,” you choked out, “I don’t know whats wrong with me.”

He shushed you and rubbed his hands on your back, letting you cry on his chest. It broke him to see you in pain, knowing he could only do so much to help. 

“You’re going to be ok. I’m right here and I’ll always be here to help you if you want me to be,” he said into your hair. 

You pulled away and he wiped your tears off with this thumb, “Please don’t tell the team a-about this,” you hiccuped, “I just don’t wanna worry them, and I know Hotch will make me take time off.”

“Hey hey I won’t tell them, I promise. But if you feel like it’s getting worse then you need to at least talk to Hotch. I’ll take time with you and make sure to be with you every step of the way.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Spencer. I love and appreciate you so much. Thank you for being you,” you said leaning into his palm.

“I love you too y/n. But don’t thank me, I don’t know how to be anyone else.”

You went back to your previous position of having your head on his chest where he continued to rub your back and whisper reassuring phrases in your ear. You didn’t know when you ended up falling asleep but you knew that whenever you woke up you’d be ready to get help knowing you had Spencer in your corner. 

[badlydrawndrawnings]

Netflix “Sugar Bowl” Theory

Not so much about what’s in the sugar bowl as Netflix pretty much reveal the content for their continuity, but rather, ownership of the sugar bowl (with a bonus on trying to make sense of the Netflix show timeline).

I had to re-watch the opera night flashback in order to listen to the conversation between Esme and Beatrice. One line always stood out to me that I could be putting too much thought into it, but it’s a line I feel is overlook as well.

Esme: “Please, darling, you can trust me to keep it safe. I’m rich and beautiful.”

Even though Esme’s main motive regarding the sugar bowl is ultimately vain/selfish (“It completes my tea set.”) Esme also say Beatrice should trust her enough to keep it safe. Esme only says the line of it completing her set after Beatrice keeps on trying to persuade her to give it up. and to me, the way Esme says “It completes my tea set.”, it seems she wants Beatrice to stop talking about giving the sugar bowl in general, with ‘and another thing’ final note to finish the conversation for good.

It got me thinking ‘what if Esme has her tea set prior to the opera night, but the sugar bowl wasn’t part of her original set?’ Esme in fact, got a replacement sugar bowl in order to complete her set, and she was allowed to keep the sugar bowl as her own, on the condition from the previous original owner to keep it safe. Esme’s main motive is still selfish, but now there’s the fact Esme personally want the sugar bowl (at the time of the conversation and switching sides) because Esme arguably has the most dangerous assignment of all, and sees herself the only one worthy of the task to protect it.

But it still begs the question: Who is the original owner of the sugar bowl?

Beatrice: “Listen to me, Esme. there are traitors within VFD who do not want to put out fires at all. A certain man with a beard but no hair, a certain woman with hair but no beard. They think fire can solve any problem in the world. What if they get their hands on Gregor Anwhistle’s research? […] you want a family one day. I do too. Don’t you want to raise your children in a safer world? This sugar bowl is our only hope. It can save lives.”

It’s a stretch -a big stretch- but given Beatrice namedrops him in their conversation and is putting focus on his research, there’s a possibility Gregor Anwhistle was the previous sugar bowl owner, and he didn’t perfected the mycelium at this point on the timeline. I say this because going by the Widdershins happy family photo and Fiona’s apparent age of five or six, assuming it was taken a bit before Fernald started his apprenticeship at Anwhistle Aquatic (as Fernald was wearing his Queequeg uniform, and not dress up as a lab assistant as shown in his flashback of the fire) and Gregor went volatile because the Mycelium is perfected, the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire in the Netflix show happened five or six years after the schism started.

As this is very early on in the timeline, Gregor’s research is not only imperfect, but still in development. However, it’s at a critical stage Gregor fears if anyone gets its hand on it, it can lead to trouble, and he fears two associates in particular knowing they’re powerful high court judges who are starting to stray and cause trouble. Gregor as a precaution gave the sugar bowl to Esme. A rich and beautiful woman like Esme with a complete tea set would not stand out to anyone. Esme herself is the perfect ‘hiding spot’.

Eventually Gregor realize he had no choice but to go back on his word, and roped in Beatrice and Lemony and Bertrand (who’s role on watching the opera night flashback has me realize Kit’s book role was transfer to Bertrand, just offscreen, because it just occurred to me Netflix!Kit due to her character changes has no idea what is going on) to get it back from Esme. Beatrice didn’t want to steal the sugar bowl because she knew Esme was pick for a reason, which is why she went on a speech to persuade Esme. But after Esme refuse to listen to reason, believing she can keep it safe and keep her complete tea set, did the sugar bowl theft happened. Beatrice (and Lemony, since he was willingly to be the fall guy so I assumed if the opportunity rose, he would have to like...kill someone? again assuming ATWQ events happened? Damn Netflix!Lemony was going to kill twice) prepared to kill Esme with a poison dart snuck in by Bertrand as the ultimate back up plan if/when Beatrice and Lemony got caught. This of course, leads to (in)famous opera night and the schism.

With Olaf’s father dead and Lemony going on the lam, returning back, and then getting declare dead which may or may not be related to Olaf or other VFD reasons or not (this is Lemony after all), Beatrice and Bertrand fear Olaf will go after them. Beatrice knows Olaf knows she threw the dart since Olaf tried to kill her at VFD’s headquarters during the masked ball. However, Olaf is (was) under the impression Lemony gave the dart to her, not Bertrand (was because Olaf is realizing that night was much more different with a re-evaluation). Ishmael at this point is getting tired of the world being up in figurative and literal flames and smokes, allow Beatrice and Bertrand to live on the island with him, which was initially plan as a VFD location but abandon due to the schism.

Ishmael on the island decided he wanted out of VFD and have a new start as a cult leader, while Beatrice and Bertrand after creating the hybrid apples with the help of the sugar bowl (Gregor knows Esme suspects he has it and now gave ownership to the two) and realizing they have a child on the way, want to go back to the world and brave everything together. 

They stay in VFD long enough to give Gregor back the sugar bowl, since Esme now believes Gregor never got the sugar bowl back after the opera night and no longer suspects him. Gregor continues to work on the mycelium (in secret) and eventually gets Fernald as his apprentice. Being an apprentice has Fernald going ‘oh gee I think Gregor is getting volatile even more than usual’ because the sugar bowl contents aren’t the same anymore due to Beatrice and Bertrand and now the mycelium project is one step closer to getting perfected.

When the mycelium is truly perfected, and the cure is going to get mass production at Lousy Lane, Gregor is ready to fight fire with fire. This leads to Gregor and Ike fighting, as Ike not only thinks what Gregor is doing dangerous, Ike is upset that the schism happened over a sugar bowl, and he fears this will make the schism worse. After the fight, and Fernald failing to reason with Gregor, Fernald decided to set Anwhistle Aquatic on fire. This of course result in Fernald losing his hands, the fire-fighting side of VFD kicking Fernald out, and Fernald and Widdershins’ big fight resulting with Fernald leaving.

The sugar bowl was moved before the fire (by Gregor, with few people knowing; Fernald isn’t in on the loop because Gregor doesn’t trust him anymore) to the factory at Lousy Lane, after which it was moved around until it accidentally found a home at Heimlich Hospital. Esme when hearing about the factory at Lousy Lane opening up started goes back searching for it, but once again gave up, as Fernald, who is now on their side and because he was out of the loop, tells her and everyone else the sugar bowl wasn’t at Anwhistle Aquatic when he burned it down. So everyone assumed the sugar bowl got ‘stolen’ pre-fire by another unknown player, with everyone giving up on it for years until the ASOUE period which gives new life to the search.

[imaginefan]

Parallels

Chris Halliwell X Reader 

Word Count: 1226

Requested: @teen-wolf-obsessed4life​

Request: omg i love your writing!!!!!!! i wanna request a chris hallowell x witch reader imagine or one shot or whatever where him and the reader r together despite knowing that he will have to go back to the future at some point, and it’s the epsiode(s) where everyone thinks it’s good for him to go back to the future so they say their goodbyes and everything but then he and leo end up in the evil paralell universe so then she has to go thru the portal with the sisters to save chris and leo and basically that episode and after they get everything back to normal chris can’t go back to the future yet cause the portal didn’t work and then he and the reader can reunite and be together a little longer and it’s like super cute and loving 🥰 thanks (sorry ik this is specific i just love this idea)

You and Chris had decided that you were going to get together with the knowledge that he would have to leave, you knew that there was time that you were forced to say goodbye to him. You were sitting in your room, you were looking over some books hoping that you could find a spell to help Chris but as you sat there you found your mind going back to all of the things that you had done with him and before you knew it tears were welling up in your eyes, you looked up at the ceiling trying to stop yourself from crying but it was useless and then you felt a pair of arms around your waist and you tightened your grip on the book you were holding "Are you okay?" Chris asked and you nodded.

"I'm fine." You answered, "We both agreed on this." "Doesn't mean that you have to be happy about it, I'd take you with me if I could." He said softly. "Doesn't matter this is just the way that everything had to be." You sighed. "Are you worried about going back?" "A little, I mean how much do you think my life has changed." He answered. "Probably a lot but Wyatt will be different, maybe you could have something that you didn't have before." "Mmm." He hummed as he rested his chin on your shoulder, you leaned back "did you find anything?" "Nothing yet, did you guys?" You asked. "Me and Dad are going to try something before we decide whether we are going to use Gideon's spell." He answered and you nodded. "You should get going then." You suggested but he gripped you tighter for a minute before lifting a hand to turn your head so that he could kiss you. "I love you." He said softly and you smiled. "I love you too always." You promised, "just remember to say goodbye okay?"

You got more than what you wished for when Chris called you to the school because they had finally said that they were planning to finally send him home, you waited for him to say goodbye to his family before he turned to you, he pulled you away from the rest of the group to get a bit of privacy "Your going to be okay right?" He asked. "Could you stay if I said no?" You asked. "You know I can't." He answered and you nodded. "Then it doesn't matter, what does matter is that you make it home okay so concentrate on that." You ordered and he smiled. "Your always bossy when you wanted something to be over quickly." He said. "I've never been a fan of goodbyes." You shrugged "but I'll be here, It'll be like you never lost me." "It'll be different." He sighed. "Maybe so but that's what we agreed to." You shrugged leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek "go they're waiting for you." "They can wait a little longer." He dismissed your worries before pressing his lips to your for what was going to be the last time ever. After deciding that he had said goodbye properly you both walked back and they started the spell and then Chris was gone but instead on an empty space where he once was there was a different version of him, on that pointed a crossbow in your direction before changing targets and shooting at Paige, you frowned as Piper stopped the arrow and the evil versions of Leo and Chris disappeared. "What was that?" You asked and Gideon launched into a pretty detailed explanation, you didn't entirely trust everything that he said but you had nothing else to go on so you set about finding the other two before they caused any trouble.

Once you found them you brought them back to the school and made sure that there was no way for them to escape, once that was done you Paige and Pheobe set about finding a way to get you Chris and Leo back before something bad happened to them. Another one of Gideon's suggestions landed you all on the other side of the portal in a darker version of your world, it took some work but you found you Chris and Leo before anything happened to them "They're not evil." Leo said as he looked at us. "Are you guys okay?" You asked. "We're fine," Chris answered and you nodded before noticing the approaching party of your evil counterparts. "Guys company." You warned them as they all looked where you were looking, Chris pulled you over to him when he was close enough to you, you rolled your eyes as they all seemed to square up for a fight well everyone except your counterpart who stood with her arms crossed. "This is dumb." You muttered, "are you really going to try and fight them?" "We have to," Paige answered and you rolled your eyes. "There is no way that you can win that." You informed them. "Well, they're not going to let us leave." Both Paige's said at the same time. "We don't have much time we have to get back," Phoebe said. "I guess Gideon didn't know how wrong this could all go." Chris sighed as he laced your hands together, your double's eyes lingering on your connected hands for a second. "Gideon," Barbas asked. "Mmm." You hummed. "Well, then there's a chance that he knew exactly what was going to happen," Barbas informed you. "Gideon has been desperately trying to eliminate Wyatt." Both Paige's phones rang at the same time and they answered to find that Piper had gone into labour, if you were going to do something it had to be now.

After half vanquishing Gideon and getting back to your dimension "The portal is closing we have to get the others through." Leo said and you nodded. "Me and Chris will get them." You said before he robbed you both to the school where you had left them. "Knock, knock time to go home!" You called through the door before opening it and narrowly missing getting hit with a crossbow bolt. "I'm really getting sick of being in danger today." "Then stop opening doors when I'm not around." Chris scolded as he checked you over to make sure that you weren't hurt. "Your Paige, Phoebe and (Y/N) are waiting for you." Chris gestured for them to come over. "I'll have to leave you here for a second while I take them." "Go, get them home and then come back for me." You smiled before stepping back away from him, you waited for him and as he promised he came back for you and you both robbed back to the house where you found that the world was not the same as you left it, you and Chris had volunteered to look keep an eye on Wyatt while the others worked to make sure that the world was corrected and that Piper had her baby. "This is not what we expected this morning." You laughed as you run your hand through your hair. "Nothing we can't handle," Chris said and you nodded. "Then we find a way to get you home." You nodded. "Mmm." Chris hummed as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "One problem at a time."

Requests and general question!

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny