#truly the most gay homophobic game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

erika111111 · 3 months ago

Text

Just to show everyone how truly toxic and evil these Rylan shippers really are. I rest my case.

NEVER ONCE did I say if you like a gay ship are you misogynistic or fetishize gay men. I said that specifically about the Lyan-hating Rylan shippers, NOT EVEN all of the Rylan shippers. Using the term "braindead" is ableist and disgusting (I actually lost a relative who went braindead after having a seizure so this really fucking triggered me). Apparently these people would rather use ableist insults against me than actually read my damn post, because I NEVER said that, and never would. I literally ship several gay ships, just take a look at my blog, man. Sure seems to me like some people got butthurt and despite me not calling them out specifically because these were NOT the people I was targeting with my posts, my post triggered them because they took it as a personal attack. I also said I ship LAURAMAX, not Lyan. I made a whole ass LauraMax playlist. I don't EVEN like Lyan. I stood up for the minority group that was being bullied, I'm not "hiding behind canon" to "ship my shit" or whatever. I actively ship LauraMax, there's no insecure canon shield being held here, I don't like Lyan, but again, canon is canon. I'm not wallowing in any misery, but clearly you are, or you wouldn't be attacking and mocking me behind my back when I literally didn't say a single word to you. No one's hiding behind canon. Canon is canon. If you don't understand what that means, that's your problem. And for the millionth time, not all Rylan shippers are bad, misogynistic, or fetishize gay men. I met some very nice Rylan shippers. I said the LYAN HATERS and the Chrashley/Jossam haters you get around here are. So stop accusing me of whatever bullshit you're accusing me of (homophobia, pfft, nice try, I ACTIVELY ship Blygbank, Jemily, and ChrisMike; again, how about you actually take a look at my blog and PUBLIC likes before making baseless accusations) and actually read my damn post before you get offended and sarcastic and start attacking me and making nonsensical accusations. Never once did I say that the only way to like Rylan was to be delusional, misogynistic, or fetishize gay men. Never. I specifically said I don't care what you ship. Again, it was targeted at the Lyan haters and people like them where they literally admit to that sort of thing. But okay, just make up lies about me because you're angry and miserable, that's cool too. Also I don't believe I ever said anything about race?? So I sincerely hope that part wasn't about me too. I'm literally in an interracial relationship and I'm the POC.

And seriously, how the fuck is saying someone saying it's disgusting for people to fetishize gay men render them a homophobe? That's the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard and the complete opposite of the entire point I was making with that statement. I'm LITERALLY saying it's disgusting for people to ship a gay ship if it's just because they have a fetish for gay people. We all know those people exist. Are they everyone who ships a gay ship? No, obviously not. But they exist and they're disgusting. That's the point I was making. That should've been obvious but again, I guess people can't see behind their rage to read that much. And I think just because I don't like this ONE PARTICULAR gay ship, you people were just waiting for the opportunity to call me a homophobe because it was easy even though it didn't make sense. But again, Blygbank, Jemily, ChrisMike, Jerin, and that's just from Supermassive Games. I like all kinds of ships, gay, straight, I don't care. Sexuality does not affect my opinion of any given ship. (Also, I made character playlists for the cast and put several gay artists in Dylan's, like Mike Taveira, JORDY, Passion Pit, all of whom I love dearly, and literally put a reference to Rylan but also putting Radiohead in Dylan's playlist as well, as Radioheads is the other Rylan ship name. But, you know, apparently I'm a homophobe. Whatever.)

Also, why try to attack me for being "new?" That's just weird. This blog is relatively new but I've been using Tumblr since I was 11. I didn't block anybody because I thought they wouldn't see my posts if I did, that's another crazy accusation and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I block people I don't even hate, I just block people whose content I simply don't want to see, plain and simple. Some people view that as a stretch, yes, but I literally temporarily blocked some people who were talking about the Until Dawn remake because I didn't want to see it at the time, I had nothing against the bloggers themselves though. Who the hell would even assume blocking someone would make them unable to see YOUR posts? It's the other way around. Again, that comment was just weird. Also, for the millionth time, I said I don't care what you ship and this was not some call to get people to stop shipping Rylan. So no, I will not be dying mad. Once again, I sincerely just don't care. If you like the ship, good for you. Truly. I'm only mad now because you people shoved lies in my mouth and called me/my opinions some very insulting, disgusting things.

This fandom clearly does fucking suck. Thanks for proving it. Also even some Rylan shippers say the fandom sucks, so what say you to that? The only good in the fandom is not Rylan and I very much enjoy tons of other The Quarry content. Again, check my likes. And Lyan shippers get a whole lot of hate so why are people who don't ship Rylan the only ones who need to change and not the people actively hating the Lyan shippers? Hypocrisy.

Now block me and leave me the fuck alone. Literally attacking me for no reason. I didn't even know you three existed. There were no personal attacks and I didn't call you any names. I didn't call anybody any names, but you guys sure did. "Personal attacks, what you say about me, insults from unserious people, how insightful," you guys really thought I was talking about y'all. It's just sad. You made literally all of this stuff up. You really should calm down and actually read my posts first or maybe just ASK ME if I was talking shit about you guys behind your backs if you were concerned or offended. None of this had to happen if you just calmed down enough to communicate like adults. Yet, I'm the one not being an adult here? Okay. Your attacking me and hatred for me is completely unwarranted and unnecessary. I was talking about other people. But NOW I'm mad. @erzivy @pandanomalous @ghostradiodylan (And if there were more of you, I don't care, just block me as well and move on.)

EDIT: These people still keep shit talking me and spreading lies behind my back despite calling them out specifically and just wanting to move on. Can't have this keep affecting my day to day life and clearly nothing that I do will stop them from shit talking me and speading lies so I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and block them and stop engaging with this bullshit. The amount of lies and evil things that have been said to and about me is fucking overwhelming over a goddamn video game. This is no longer worth my time, sorry. I actually have a life unlike you people. Edit 2: It got to the point where these people are making alt accounts to continue to attack me and I just... don't have the words anymore. All I'm gonna say about this one is that I didn't put fandom wank in the tags, I don't even know what that term means, that tag was only used by the people attacking me but there were a lot of reblogs/replies so I guess it got confused somewhere. You can't force people not to tag things. And it's not "bEcAuSe i'M nEw," everything I actually did tag I did intentionally so you know, people would see it? If people with an unpopular opinion about a series can't even tag said series then you're doing nothing but intentionally silencing them because you disagree with them, plain and simple. Also the Lyan haters always tag "Lyan" and "The Quarry" in their Lyan hate posts and I don't see you complaining about them. Again, complete and total hypocrisy and it's pretty clear this argument isn't about being fair or moral, it's just about what you want and demanding that your opinion is the only one on the website. Same thing with Hackearney as well, although I also don't ship them, everybody tags "Hackearney" and "The Quarry" on their Hackearney hate posts too and I don't see you complaining about that even though there are also people in this community who are fans of and ship them too. So why does this nonsense only apply to Rylan? Hmmm. Leave me alone now. Please and thank you. Edit 3 and hopefully final, to clear my name of all the remaining slander: I was not talking about anyone on Tumblr, I was talking about people in chat/comments on Twitch and YouTube who were bashing Lyan shippers, fetishizing gay people, and ignoring canon. TheCaitlinMarie was one of the streamers/streams this happened on, I forget the others now. I was watching/participating in a lot of livestreams at the time and a lot of people were playing The Quarry to prep for the Until Dawn remake. Not everything is about you, Tumblr. You people obviously won't believe me even after citing proof, but whatever, that's your problem. I spoke my truth. Also, saying "you need better reading comprehension skills" to insult me, me calling you out for insulting me, you going back to edit and delete that portion of your post, and then accusing ME of being the one that started that insult is one of the pettiest, most childish things I've ever experienced. Just yet again proves me even more right that you people are the nasty ones desperate to make yourselves look like the good guys and demonize me. Also, laughing at/mocking someone's triggers/trauma makes you trash. And thanks for admitting to intentionally talking shit about me behind my back so you could try to get away with it. And all of you ignoring/not replying only to the specific portions of my post where literally every time I factually proved you wrong, not taking back a single slur, insult, or accusation because you're mad and embarrassed I proved you wrong. Peace. Though you'll probably never find it. Edit 4: @camillabanilla Justice Smith himself said that the "maybe neither" line meant that he was interested in Laura, so his feelings for her are canon; not the ship itself, but I quite literally never said that the ship itself was. Maybe learn something or actually read my posts before running your mouth. Thanks for proving my point as well, I'll add you to the list of toxic conclusion jumping trolls.

#the quarry #until dawn #rylan #lyan #ryan x kaitlyn #ryan ezrahler #laura kearney #dylan leviny #kaitlyn ka #horrorgames #supermassive games #max brinly #shipping wars #chrashley #jossam #climbing class #hackearney #travis hackett

21 notes · View notes

celestialholz · 1 year ago

Text

The apple of my eye (or 'oh good, there's ANOTHER one')

*yeets into the conversation a week late with Starbucks*

Sorry, sorry. Been trying to save a dukedom from a giant brain and live my best happily ever with a vampire twink. Very distracting.

But anyway, I haven't even gotten the boys in my clubroom yet, so more analysis incoming, but I have finished Indigo Disk's main story, and I couldn't help but notice something deeply awful when fighting our little buddy Kieran.

... Oh god THEY'RE MULTIPLYING. How many apples do we need? How much more homosexuality does this game need? (Yes. The answer is 'yes.')

Meet Hydrapple everyone, the latest gay marriage mascot. Truly wish you all could've seen my face when. And it evolves from the last gay marriage mascot! I have quickly become homophobic again, how do they keep managing this?!

So, naturally, we need to break this loveable bastard and its symbolism down, or I might have to start passing the meta queen crown off to someone else. (I vote @prince-kallisto. Friend spare me. 🤣)

Well, we'll begin with the obvious: this thing is a hydra, a multiple-headed dragon in Greek myth. This one in particular has seven, so says the all-knowing dex:

But we'll do the seven part in a minute. The one major thing you should all know is that in most tales, removing one of this thing's heads respawns two in its place - and killing one of these creatures was the second labour of Hercules, the God of Strength. There's that fucking number two again in connection with our boys...

And now, let's take the Greek and easternize it to our lovely Japanese creators with the number seven.

Seven in Japanese culture, like in the western, is seen as a lucky number, and also the number symbolising the cycle of life and death.

... Which, if you recall, is a running theme with our silly men.

Get your life saved, idiot. Be lucky. 🥰

There are also Seven Gods of Fortune in Buddhism, Japan's primary religion. And there's one that rings more than a few ceremonial bells - Fukurokokuju. Bit of a Buddhist lore deepcut here for you:

> He is the god of wisdom, luck, longevity, wealth and happiness. Moreover, he is the only god who was said to have the ability to resurrect the dead. Fukurokuju is characterized by the size of his head, being almost as large as the size of his whole body.

... Hmm. Wisdom, happiness. Luck. 'Resurrecting.' The one that has a large head, like our good pal Hydrapple here... it's all very interesting, isn't it, how it ties together?

And all this goes a long way to explaining the evolution method of this fun little apple-y bastard. Because in order to be lucky, to be brought back to life, to heal and to love and to find yourself... one must have support. A cheerleader, if you will. Not one with pom-poms (although slay Hass babes, you'd look great in that drip), but one cheering you on. Always being in your corner.

... And here we find Dragon Cheer, Hydrapple's evolution move. Brassius can pursue his dreams as passionately as he likes, because there's always a husband at his side to be on his side.

It's a whole narrative, my friends. We have the romantic gift of the Applin; we have the adorableness of the Flapple, and its dusk portrait; we have the total harmony of Dipplin...

... And now we have the result of that harmony. Look, it's even running away from the Ice of the Polar Biome, a type both Grass and Dragon can't stand. The emotional cold.

Y'know, I'm sure someone would have DM'd me by now if Hass and Brass' clubroom banter confirmed their marriage, so I'm going to assume that isn't a thing.

... But at the same time, it's definitely a thing. All you have to do is read the narrative, darlings.

#ephemeralartshipping #hassius #hassel x brassius #hassel #brassius #pokemon scarlet and violet #indigo disk dlc #pokemon spoilers #hydrapple is the final piece of the puzzle #and I for one think that's fucking beautiful. 😭😭#... fucking apples. I'll write a fic about this shit someday on arceus #I have missed meta y'know. Great to be back. 😍

93 notes · View notes

religion-is-a-mental-illness · 10 months ago

Text

By: Andrew Doyle

Published: Mar 11, 2024

As a child of the Eighties and Nineties, I remember well that homosexuals were fair game in the mainstream media. One columnist in The Star railed against “Wooftahs, pooftahs, nancy boys, queers, lezzies — the perverts whose moral sin is to so abuse the delightful word ‘gay’ as to render it unfit for human consumption”. After the death of Freddie Mercury, sympathy in The Mail on Sunday was limited. “If you treat as a hero a man who died because of his own sordid sexual perversions,” one writer cautioned, “aren’t you infinitely more likely to persuade some of the gullible young to follow in his example?”

It was sadly inevitable that the AIDS crisis would exacerbate this ancient prejudice. A headline in The Sun declared that “perverts are to blame for the killer plague”. And while a writer for the Express held “those who choose unnatural methods of self-gratification” responsible for the disease, letters published in its pages followed suit. One reader called for the incarceration of homosexuals. “Burning is too good for them,” wrote another. “Bury them in a pit and pour on quicklime.” Someone had been reading his Dante.

I happened to come out in a much less hostile climate. In the early 2000s, we were enjoying a kind of Goldilocks moment, neither too hot nor too cold. We weren’t generally on the receiving end of homophobic slurs, but nor were we patronised by well-meaning progressives. My memory of this time was that no one particularly cared, and I was more than happy with that. Being gay for me has never been an identity, it’s simply a fact, as unremarkable as being blue-eyed or right-handed.

And so it has been troubling to see a resurgence in the last few years of the kind of anti-gay rhetoric that was commonplace in my childhood. Of course, it could be argued that the rise of social media has simply exposed sentiments that were previously only expressed in private. As Ricky Gervais has pointed out, before the digital era “we couldn’t read every toilet wall in the world. And now we can.”

Yet the most virulent homophobia appears to be coming from a new source. Whereas we have always been accustomed to this kind of thing from the far-Right — one recalls Nick Griffin’s remark on Question Time about how he finds the sight of two men kissing “really creepy” — but now the most objectionable anti-gay comments arise in online spheres occupied by gender ideologues, from those who claim to be progressive, Left-wing and “on the right side of history”. The significant difference is that the word “cis” has been added to the homophobe’s lexicon. Some examples:

“Cis gay men are a disease.”

“Cis gay men are truly some of the most grotesque creatures to burden this earth.”

“I hate cis gay people with a burning passion.”

“If you’re a cis gay man and your sexuality revolves around you not liking female genitalia I hope you die and I will spit on your grave.”

“Cis gays don’t deserve rights.”

“There’s so many reasons to hate gay people, most specifically white gays, but there’s never a reason to be a transphobe.”

“It’s time to normalise homophobia.”

Of course, any bile can be found on the internet, but these kinds of phrases are remarkably commonplace among certain online communities. Even a cursory search will reveal innumerable examples of gender ideologues casually branding gay men “fags” or “faggots”, praising the murder of gays and lesbians, and claiming that the AIDS epidemic was a positive thing. Many thousands of examples had been collated on Google Photos under the title “Woke homophobia: anti-gay hatred & boxer ceiling abuse from trans activists & gender-identity ideologues”. The site was taken down last year, presumably because it violated Google’s policy on hate speech — or perhaps because it revealed the toxicity of the ideology the company has spent so long promoting.

If such ideas were restricted to the demented world of internet activism, we might be justified in simply ignoring it. But we now know that the overwhelming majority of adolescents referred to the Tavistock paediatric gender clinic were same-sex attracted. Whistleblowers have spoken out about the endemic homophobia, not simply among clinicians but also parents who were keen to “fix” their gay offspring. And of course there was the running joke among staff that soon “there would be no gay people left”.

And now a series of leaked internal messages and videos from WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health), has revealed that clinicians in the leading global organisation for transgender healthcare have openly admitted in private that some teenagers mistake being same-sex attracted for gender dysphoria. The result of the “gender-affirming” approach has amounted to what one former Tavistock clinician recently described as “conversion therapy for gay kids”. Homosexuality was removed from the World Health Organisation’s list of psychiatric disorders in 1993, and yet here we are medicalising it all over again.

So how did we reach the point where gay conversion therapy is being practised in plain sight by the NHS? Much of the responsibility has to lie with Stonewall, a group that once promoted equal rights for gay people but now actively works against their interests. It has even gone so far as to redefine “homosexual” on its website and resource materials as “same-gender attracted”. It should go without saying that gay men are not attracted to women who identify as men, any more than lesbians should be denounced for excluding those with penises from their dating pools. What trans activists call discrimination, most of us call homosexuality.

Indeed, activists often claim that “genital preferences are transphobic”, or that sexual orientation based on biological sex is a form of “trauma”. The idea that homosexuality is a sickness was one of the first homophobic tropes I encountered as a child. Now it is being rebranded as progressive.

As for Stonewall, its former CEO Nancy Kelley went so far as to argue that women who exclude trans people as potential partners are analogous to “sexual racists”. She claimed that “if you are writing off entire groups of people, like people of colour, fat people, disabled people or trans people, then it’s worth considering how societal prejudices may have shaped your attractions”. It is worth remembering that Stonewall is deeply embedded in many governmental departments and quangos, as well as corporate and civic institutions. Anti-gay propaganda is being reintroduced into society from the very top.

Meanwhile, the Crown Prosecution Service has been meeting with trans lobby groups such as Mermaids and Stonewall to discuss changes to prosecutorial policy in cases of sex by deception. Since these meetings — only revealed after sustained pressure from a feminist campaigner who submitted Freedom of Information requests — the CPS has recommended what Dennis Kavanagh of the Gay Men’s Network has described as “a radical trans activist approach to sex by deception prosecutions that would see them all but vanish”. In trans activist parlance, the barriers to having sex with lesbians and gay men are known as the “cotton ceiling” and “boxer ceiling”. Now it seems the establishment is attempting to support the coercion of gay people into heterosexual activity.

Consider a recent post on X by Stephen Whittle, OBE, a professor of equalities law at Manchester Metropolitan University. In a reply to LGB Alliance’s Bev Jackson, Whittle took issue with the notion that “love is all about genitals” (an argument that Jackson has never made). Having dismissed this straw man as “a very hetero/homo-normative perspective”, Whittle then claimed that “a lot of gay men can’t resist a young furry ftm [female-to-male] cub”.

While it is true that there are some bisexuals who identify as gay, it is simply not the case that homosexual men “can’t resist” certain kinds of women. As Jackson rightly noted in her response, this is rank homophobia, “disturbed and disturbing on every level”. Yet it has been expressed by an individual who has been described as a “hero for LGBTQ+ equality”. With heroes like these, who needs villains?

Another example is Davey Wavey, a popular online influencer, who has encouraged gay men to perform heterosexual acts in a video called “How to Eat Pussy — For Gay Men”. It may as well have been called “Gay Conversion Therapy 2.0”. We are firmly back in the Eighties, where gays are being told that they “just haven’t found the right girl yet” and lesbians are assured that they just “need a good dick”. And yet now these demeaning ideas are being propagated by those who claim to be defending the rights of sexual minorities.

The Government’s recent guidance on how schools are to accommodate trans-identified pupils — in which biological sex will take precedence over identity — has been met with horror from gender ideologues. One of the common refrains one hears from activists is that it represents “this generation’s Section 28”. But this is to get it precisely backwards. Gay rights were secured on the recognition that a minority of the population are same-sex attracted. In dismantling the very notion of sex and substituting it for this nebulous concept of “gender identity”, activists and their disciples in parliament are undoing all of the achievements of previous gay rights movements.

The widespread homophobia of the Eighties, epitomised by Section 28, was based on the notion that homosexuality was unnatural, dangerous and ought to be corrected. Present-day gender identity ideology perceives homosexuality as evidence of misalignment between soul and body. In other words, it seeks to “fix” gay people so that they fit into a heterosexual framework. It is no coincidence that so many detransitioners are gay people who were simply struggling with their sexuality. Gender identity ideology is the true successor to Section 28.

The proponents of this revamped gay conversion therapy dismiss our concerns as “transphobia” and “bigotry”, or as part of a manufactured “culture war”. Worse still, the new homophobia is being cheered on by those it will hurt most. While prominent gay figures continue to feed the beast that wishes to devour them, we are unlikely to see this dire situation improve any time soon. It was bad enough in the Eighties, when gay people were demonised and harassed by the establishment. Who thought we would have to fight these battles all over again?

#Andrew Doyle #woke homophobia #homophobia 2.0 #gay conversion therapy #gay conversion #conversion therapy #anti gay #gender ideology #gender identity ideology #queer theory #intersectional feminism #religion is a mental illness

44 notes · View notes

ghostradiodylan · 10 months ago

Note

In general Ryan gets so mistreated and overhated by the fandom and it makes me sad because I really like Ryan even in my first playthrough :/ I get that the part where he was arguing with Laura about the existence of werewolves when he watched Nick transform and run out the window was kind of dumb but he’s all around a great character who’s brave and helpful and he helped save everyone’s lives in the best ending….

While I don’t agree with all of their actions I can’t bring myself to hate on any of the counselors. They’re all young adults who are stuck in a horrifying and traumatic situation, of course they’re going to be flawed and not perfect. It just baffles me how Travis, Constance, Jedidiah and Eliza do the most horrible things in the game yet people viciously hate on Ryan : (

Oh, the actual adults in the game are absolutely The Worst. (Even Chris, though I think he wants to help, is incredibly negligent at best).

I think there are a few things happening here that can turn people against Ryan (and I'm not saying anyone has to like him as a character, we all have characters we vibe with and ones we don't, but it's worth examining why we don't vibe with some characters especially when those characters are Black or other POC, LGBTQ, and ND-coded).

Ryan is a victim of some of the less compelling writing choices in the game IMO. They don't have anything to do with his character, really, he's generally well-written, but some of the things that were cut from the game, and the way the relationships unravel in the latter half of the game does Ryan kind of dirty.

First of all, his relationship with Chris Hackett isn't fleshed out enough for a lot of players to understand why he's willing to sacrifice so much on the hope that his mentor isn't actually a werewolf (or a deeply irresponsible asshole of a boss). If they'd left in the scene of Chris following up with Ryan about following his dreams and going to animation school and the initial confrontation with Chris that was patched out, where Ryan questions how he hid this from them all this time when he cared about them and Ryan trusted him (literally heartbreaking to watch tbh 🥺), it might have been a little easier for players to empathize with his loyalty to Chris. This kid has no known father, absentee mother, aging grandparents, a sister he clearly feels a lot of responsibility for, and his father figure who he goes to for advice left him in the worst possible situation. Of course he's going to be in denial about that and about him being a werewolf until he sees it for himself, and then Ryan has to kill him. It's so fucking tragic. And he doesn't even get a second to mourn or even react because the Silas plotline kicks in immediately (and they spent all the animated tears budget on Jacob).

Then there's Ryan's relationship with Dylan, which I could (and will) write about for days. Based on the game we got, plus the cut content, I don't think Ryan was ever supposed to have the option to get with Kaitlyn. I think that's a red herring that allows homophobic players to avoid a gay kiss (kind of a fucked up use of a BAMF character and Brenda Song's star power but, ok). I don't think he was ever supposed to get to romance Laura either. But I do think he was meant to be able to either end up with Dylan, or decisively not end up with him. If they'd kept the relationship system that we still have traces of but no actual structure for, then his ability to say 'maybe neither' to Laura wouldn't be something players held against him because it would have a basis in the choices we've made as Ryan (and Dylan) so far. As it stands, it feels like that is unsupported by what's happened in the game when we've had Dylan and Ryan flirting with each other and taking an obvious interest in each other since they were introduced.

Even if you choose the less favorable dialogue options, Dylan and Ryan are never really shown to be truly at odds (with the possible exception of the gun argument, but even that pretty much smooths over in the end). Even if you have them be hard-headed assholes to each other, they still have their heart-to-heart on the way to the radio hut (which I really think was supposed to have an alternative if they had low relationship stats).

Complicating matters is the fact that a lot of people really love Dylan. Obviously I'm one of them, I mean, look at my url and writing choices. I think Miles gives the best performance of the game, hands down (and I think all the actors did really well tbh). He's a great actor (his line reads are flawless and that sassy boy body language? I die.) but he also gets a lot to work with in terms of the script. Dylan is complex and compelling in a way that tends to be highly relatable for most people. He's probably neurodivergent (ADHD) but it's portrayed in a more palatable way for neurotypical people. Plus, as an audience, we are primed to empathize with the person who wants to be wanted, who is afraid of rejection, who has the cute crush that we want to see reciprocated and is trying not to get their heart stomped on. We've all been there! That's a centuries-old trope in drama and literature for a reason. And while Ryan does not owe Dylan reciprocation, we see some pretty clear signs of it at least being possible. So the game sort of dangles it in front of players like we can make that happen with our choices and then makes a half-baked attempt to snatch it away. That annoys people and, I think at least partially because Ryan's race and stoic demeanor (/autism) have people subconsciously primed to view him negatively, they take that out on him instead of the SMG writers who opted for that rather than fleshing out the relationships any further for the latter half of the game.

Like, yes, it's a horror game not a dating sim (Ryan and Dylan dating sim DLC when tho??), but you spend so much time building relationships that end up not mattering to the outcome of the game, I get why that's frustrating for people. It's frustrating for me! I just think being mad at Ryan over it is the wrong take. I still see people saying "Dylan deserves better than Ryan." Dylan and Ryan both deserve to exist in a finished fucking game where we have the option to get them together or not, but blaming whatever happens, or doesn't, on Ryan as a character is kinda trash.

#the quarry #ask bunny #hello beautiful anon #bunny rants #I have a lot of thoughts #and feelings #in this house we defend Ryan Erzahler #ryan erzahler #dylan lenivy #rylan #radioheads #they deserved the world #patpat ryan gif

43 notes · View notes

tortellini-bandit · 10 months ago

Text

- Oh My God They Were Roommates: Chapter 2

Word count: ~4.2k

Description: Henry tells Pez what’s going on. Alex and Henry have sex for the first time

Edited by: @morbific-or-felicific

Chapter 2

“Kill him, kill him, kill him!”

“I’m not going to kill him, you soulless demon. What if he has a wife and kids?”

“Oh, so it has to be a wife, huh? Why can’t he have a husband?” Alex scoffs. “Homophobic much?”

“Alex,” Henry says slowly, like he’s explaining basic math to a small child. “I’m gay.”

“Sounds like an excuse to me.” Alex turns back to the screen, the fluorescent light from the TV glinting off his glasses, and distracting Henry for perhaps a moment too long. “Come on, look what you’ve done, he’s getting away!”

Henry sighs, also turning back to face their television.

Recently, Alex has taken to attempting to get Henry to play some sort of video game called “Skyrim”. Which, from what Henry’s gathered so far, involves running around mindlessly and attempting to find civilians to kill with a very large axe.

For the next hour and a half, Alex continues to get him to commit several war crimes. Henry continues to refuse to hurt any innocent people. Alex is getting progressively more frustrated with Henry about this. And every once in a while, Henry will find out a useful bit of information.

“Why didn’t you tell me you can wield magic in this bloody game? You should have led with that!”

“Because magic is lame compared to that two-handed battle axe you’ve got in your hands right now.”

“Magic is not lame-”

That argument goes on for a while. It ends in Henry’s triumph when he threatens to stop playing altogether if Alex doesn’t let him wield magic instead. He feels rather smug about it.

Henry’s relationship with Alex hasn’t changed since they fucked in their kitchen two weeks ago.

Alex still makes Henry a cup of Orange Pekoe with a splash of cream when he makes his coffee in the morning. He still falls asleep halfway through truly horrible comedy movies he spent half an hour convincing Henry to watch with him. He still sends Henry Instagram reels at all ungodly hours of the night and day, even when Henry is sitting in the same room as him. He still leaves lists, most of them completely unintelligible, scattered about their flat for Henry to collect and place in a neat pile on Alex’s desk. Still places a pillow under his head and a blanket over him when Henry falls asleep on the couch, reading, at 3:00am because he couldn’t fall asleep in his cold, lonely room. He still plucks the book carefully from Henry’s slack grip, marking his page, and setting it on the coffee table.

Well, nothing’s changed except now sometimes Alex will slide off the sofa during their movie nights, unbuckling Henry’s belt, and taking half of him in his mouth at once. He’ll bring Henry right to the edge over and over for what feels like hours, not letting him fall over it until he’s writhing on the sofa, crying and begging, movie long forgotten. Only then will Alex finally let Henry spill down his throat. He’ll open his mouth, showing Henry his cum on his tongue. And then he’ll make Henry thank him.

Nothing’s changed except now sometimes when Henry comes home, stressed and tense after a long day, Alex will put him on his knees. Will fuck his face, will pull his hair a little too roughly and squeeze the sides of his throat until he’s choking and gasping for air. He’ll call him a whore for enjoying it. And Henry’s mind will go blissfully blank for the first time all day.

Nothing’s changed except now Henry has gotten a taste of what it would be like to have Alex. Have all of him the way he wants him.

Nothing’s changed except now Henry can no longer shove down his emotions as easily as he could before. He finds himself staring at Alex more and more often. Expression open and raw, before he catches himself, schooling his features and forcing his gaze back to what he’s supposed to be focused on. His book. His essay. The breakfast he’s making.

“Hey, dude, I don’t mean to complain when you’re cooking for me and everything. But those eggs are looking a little… black.”

Henry startles, looking back down at the pan on the stove and realizing that Alex is right. What he’s been pushing mindlessly around in the pan now resembles a charred mess more than it resembles scrambled eggs.

“Damn,” Henry swears, turning the stove off and removing the skillet from the burner. He stares ruefully at the blackened eggs, unable to meet Alex’s eyes. He didn’t miss the way Alex called him “dude” before. Like they’re just friends. Like they’re “bros”. Like Henry doesn’t know how Alex tastes. Like Henry doesn’t know the exact cadence of Alex’s breaths right before he comes. Like Henry can’t still feel the bruises on his inner thighs that Alex hasn’t let heal since he gave them to him.

Like Henry hasn’t been in love with him since he was nineteen.

“You seem distracted lately, sweetheart.” Alex’s lean body presses against Henry’s from behind, his arms wrapping around his waist. He can feel the small rise and fall of Alex’s chest with his breaths. Can feel his warmth through the fabric of their shirts. Henry shifts, leaning his body back against Alex’s, closing his eyes, relishing the small comfort.

In these moments, Henry can almost pretend that Alex actually wants him too. Can almost pretend they live together because they want to, not because rent is cheaper this way. That Alex wants him, and only him. That Alex isn’t just using him as a body to warm his bed because it’s convenient. At least until he finds someone he actually wants to spend his life with.

“Just tired. You know how I get when finals are coming up.”

Alex hums, pressing his lips into the spot in between Henry’s shoulder blades.

He suppresses a shiver.

After a long moment, Alex pulls away. “Come on, we can still get breakfast on the way if we leave now.” Alex looks mournfully at what was supposed to be their breakfast. “And perhaps pick up a new skillet.”

“Sod off.” Henry shoves at him playfully. “I absolutely did not ruin our frying pan. It just needs to be washed.”

“If by ‘washed’, you mean ‘thrown out entirely’, then yes, I completely agree.”

Henry rolls his eyes, but he knows the gesture comes across more fond than anything.

***

“My darling Hazza.”

Henry sighs.

“Do you mean to tell me that you’ve been letting our dear Alexander bend you over every possible surface of that sad excuse for a flat for two weeks, and you’re just telling me now?” Pez screeches.

Henry winces. “Technically speaking, he hasn’t bent me over any surfaces. We haven’t done anything past blowjobs.”

“You know better than to think I’ll let you off the hook on a technicality.” Pez’s voice comes out so high pitched that Henry is impressed it didn’t crack.

“See,” Henry exhales, suddenly very tired, “this is why I didn’t want to tell you. Because I knew you’d overreact.”

“Overreact?” Pez looks like he’s fighting the urge to strangle Henry. Henry can’t really blame him. He’s also had the urge to strangle himself quite frequently these past few weeks.

“Mate, you’re having ‘casual, no strings’ sex with the man you’ve been in love with since the moment you laid eyes on. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that you bloody live with him! What are you going to do when all of this inevitably goes down in flames?” Pez throws up his hands in frustration.

“I don’t know, okay?” he snaps. He pushes himself angrily to his feet, going to stand by the window, watching the snow flutter gently to the ground, illuminated by the halos of light cast from the streetlamps.

“I don’t know,” he says quieter.

“Haz.” Pez comes to stand beside him, voice softer this time. It’s lost its sharp edge of frustration, replaced by something else.

Pity maybe. 

“I think you should break it off now, before this has a chance to hurt you any more than it already has.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not? Can’t you see what this is doing to you?” Pez implores.

“I can’t, alright?” Henry’s almost yelling now. “I can’t because this is as close as I’m going to get to having him.” He draws in a shaky breath. “He’s going to move on, he’s going to find somebody else, and this will all just be an amusing memory he looks back on sometimes, but for me.” He pauses for a moment, collecting himself, fighting the sting in his eyes. “But for me, this is everything. I would never forgive myself if I gave this up just to save myself a little pain.” Henry can feel Pez’s eyes on him, but he stares resolutely out the window.

The snow has picked up little, falling in delicate bunches rather than individual snowflakes. “Because right now I can pretend that this is more than it is. And that’s worth more to me than trying to protect myself from any future heartbreak.”

Pez stares at him for a long moment before finally speaking. “Then I think you should tell him how you feel.”

Henry whips his head around at that, staring incredulously at his best friend.

“I think he might surprise you,” Pez says gently.

“No. No, he won’t surprise me. He’ll stop whatever this is immediately. He’ll conveniently never have time for our movie nights anymore. He’ll start to look at me with pity in his eyes. ‘Poor Henry fell in love with his best friend who will never feel the same.’ And what if he moves out to try to make it less awkward between us? I’ll never see him again. I’ll lose any part of him I ever had.” Henry hangs his head.

“Oh, Henry.”

In the hollow silence that follows, Henry knows he’s right.

***

When Henry walks through the door of their flat, shoulders curled inward on himself, eyes downcast, melted snow dripping from his hair, Alex is by his side in an instant. “Baby. What’s wrong?”

Henry’s heart soars in its metal cage at the nickname.

“Nothing. It’s just– it’s nothing.”

Alex’s hand starts rubbing soothing circles over Henry’s shoulder. “Do you want me to make you some tea? Or we can get wine drunk and blast music; fuck the neighbours.” Alex tilts Henry’s chin up with gentle fingers, forcing him to look into his kind eyes. “Tell me what I can do.”

Henry juts his chin out, meeting Alex’s steady gaze, and says what he’s wanted to say for years.

“Fuck me.”

Alex’s eyes dart back and forth between Henry’s, searching for any sign of doubt. “Are you sure?”

Henry almost laughs. There’s very little else he’s more sure of than this. “Yes. Please, Alex. I– I need this.”

“Fuck, okay, yes. Yes, of course I’ll fuck you, baby.” Alex gently cradles the side of his face with his warm hand.

“I– I need you to be rough,” Henry tells him. “I need you to use me. So I don’t have to think.” He pauses. “Please, Alex.”

Alex’s pupils dilate, expression changing. Shifting into something less kind. Something crueler. “Yeah? You want me to put you on your back and give you a good fucking, princess? Split you open on my cock until you forget every word that’s not my name?”

“Yes,” Henry breathes.

“Yes, what?” Alex snaps.

A bolt of lightning shoots up the length of Henry’s spine. “Yes, sir.”

Alex smirks. “Such a good little slut.”

Henry shatters.

Alex lets his hand fall, taking a step back. His eyes languidly travel the length of Henry’s body, deliberating. “I want you on your bed,” Alex says. “Waiting for me come fuck you.”

Henry’s breath hitches. He nods.

“And if you touch yourself before I get there.” Alex’s eyes narrow. “Then you don’t get to come. I’ll fuck you open, and then leave you desperate and alone. Begging for more. Understood?” 

Henry nods again.

“Good.” He jerks his head in the direction of Henry’s bedroom.

Henry steps out of his shoes, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it on the hook. Alex lazily tracks his movements. Then Henry walks off down the hall without a backwards glance. Leaving Alex to stare after him.

One he’s in his room, he strips down to his boxers, folding his clothes and placing them neatly on his desk chair. Impossibly, he’s already half hard. From the way Alex had looked at him. From the anticipation of what’s to come. He lays on the bed, propped against his pillows, watching the door. He aches to wrap a hand around himself, to take the edge off, but Alex’s warning rings in his ears, stopping him.

He isn’t kept waiting long. When Alex walks through the door, forgoing knocking, he’s holding a condom, a bottle of lube, and– a length of rope. Alex’s eyes glint with something bright and dangerous when he sees Henry’s gaze linger on the rope.

Henry’s no stranger to being tied up, but this rope is rather thin. The kind that will dig painfully into his wrists if he pulls too hard. The kind that will leave marks tomorrow. If he’s lucky.

“Having second thoughts, princess?” Alex taunts. His tone is mocking, but Henry can hear the genuine question underneath. He’s giving Henry an out. Even though he’s the one who asked Alex to fuck him. To use him. Like he’s nothing more than Alex’s personal plaything.

Henry shakes his head. “No.”

“Good.” Alex’s smirk returns. It’s a little crooked and positively lethal. Henry wants to sear the image into his mind.

Alex approaches the bed, setting the condom and the lube on the night stand, but keeping the rope. Henry lifts his arms above his head, bracing them near the headboard, staring up at Alex expectantly.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Alex breathes.

Henry’s heart stutters in his chest.

The bed dips when Alex braces his knee against the edge, leaning over Henry to tie his wrists. The rope is surprisingly smooth against his skin as Alex ties practiced loops, pulling them taut. The knots is just this side of too tight, so Henry knows there will likely be bruises tomorrow. He’ll probably have to wear a long sleeve shirt to cover them.

He doesn’t want to. He wants to show them off. He wants the world to see. Wants everyone to know that Henry was tied to headboard and used. Wants them to know it was Alex who gave him these bruises.

Alex, who has the body of an Olympic swimmer. Alex, with his infectious laugh. Alex, with his perfect curls he spends half an hour styling every morning. Alex, with his adorable glasses he refuses to wear to class, but insists on wearing when he’s playing video games because it ‘enhances the experience.’ Alex, who could have anyone, but who chose Henry.

For now.

Alex climbs onto the bed, hovering over Henry, arms braced on either side of him. He leans down, and for one utterly insane moment, Henry thinks Alex is about to kiss him. He doesn’t, of course. They don’t do that. Instead, he moves higher, and Henry gasps when he feels Alex’s warm tongue tracing patterns just below the delicate skin of his wrists. It takes him a moment to realize that Alex is tracking the path of his veins with his tongue.

“Alex, please.”

“Did I say you could talk?” Teeth dig painfully into his forearm. “Do you need me to gag you just to make you behave?” Alex soothes over his mark with his tongue. An apology.

A shiver runs the length of Henry’s spine, and he shakes his head, not making the mistake of speaking out of turn again.

He wonders if Alex would actually gag him. He wonders what else Alex might do if he talked back. If he was a brat. But that’s something to test another time.

***

“Fuck, Henry. You’re so tight.”

Henry gasps at the stretch, suddenly overwhelmed when he feels Alex push into him in one long, slow movement. So much bigger than his fingers. He writhes on the bed, instinctually pulling at his restraints, but they don’t so much as budge. The thin rope digs into his skin, and he almost moans at the dull sting.

Alex stops when he bottoms out, giving him a moment to adjust. His curls are falling into his eyes, and Henry aches to push them out of his face, but he can’t. So, instead, he settles for watching the pleasure painting Alex’s beautiful features, and the strain of his arm muscles from where he’s hovering over Henry, keeping most of his weight off. Henry almost wishes he wouldn’t.

He wants him closer, though he knows that’s physically impossible right now. But it doesn’t stop him from wanting Alex to break open his chest and make a home for himself, curled around Henry’s pathetic little heart.

He gives Alex a small nod, almost imperceptible if you weren’t looking for it, but Alex sees and understands.

He pulls almost all the way out before slamming back in.

Henry almost blacks out from the intense combination of pleasure and pain, hands scrabbling for purchase against the headboard.

Alex starts to build a brutal, punishing rhythm, the bed banging unceremoniously against the wall. And for one, hysterical moment, he worries about the neighbours. Within the next moment, he isn’t thinking much about anything.

“Ngh–” A strangled moan is torn from his lips.

“God, Henry, you’re so, ah, desperate for it, aren’t you? Desperate for me to fuck your slutty little hole, aren’t you?” Alex rakes his blunt nails down Henry’s side, and he cries out. “Use your words, princess.”

“Yes, yes! I need you. Need your cock. Harder, please,” he begs.

“Fuck, you’re such a perfect little cockslut. Just for me, isn’t that, ah, right, princess?”

Henry’s back arches off the bed, very nearly coming from those words alone.

Yes! Yes, yours. Only ever yours.

“I’m going to wreck you for anyone else. No one’s ever gonna be able to fuck you like I can.” As if proving his point, he changes his angle, hitting that spot he was purposefully avoiding before.

“God, yes.” Henry’s tongue lolls out of his mouth, and stars explode behind his eyes. He’s pretty sure he’s drooling onto his pillows. His cock is red and angry and weeping where it’s trapped between their bodies, and the small friction in the drag of Alex’s body against his is everything.

His body feels like a livewire. Every sensation, every filthy word coming out of Alex’s perfect mouth feels magnified, somehow. But he also feels like if he moves the wrong way, he might shatter.

“Look at you, princess.” Alex’s thumb catches on the tip of Henry’s cock, smearing precum. “You’re so wet.” Alex *fists his cock, too hard, and Henry cries out, thrashing. His body trying to get away from the overwhelming stimulation, but his restraints, and Alex’s strong, warm hands keep him firmly in place.

“Please, Alex,” Henry whines.

“Please what, sweetheart?” Alex flicks his wrist, and Henry arches into his touch. “Please fuck you so hard you’re limping for a week?” A particularly hard thrust sends Henry’s thoughts scattering from his mind, and he’s too slow to catch them. “Answer me.”

“I–I don’t, ngh–”

“Please give you a collar of pretty bruises so everyone knows that you’re mine?” Alex grabs a fistful of Henry’s hair, yanking his head back, forcing him to meet Alex’s dark gaze. Mine to fuck.” Another hard thrust. “Mine to use.” Another. “Mine.”

Yes, yes, yes!

“Christ, I’m gonna– Alex, I’m gonna–”

Alex squeezes the base of his cock, effectively stopping his building orgasm. Henry cries at the loss.

Alex draws his mouth up right next to Henry’s ear. “You don’t get to come until I say you can.” Alex’s voice is quiet, dangerous. It makes Henry want to record it so he can listen to it again and again, long after their little arrangement has ended. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Henry voice sounds pitiful, even to his own ears.

Alex smirks. “Good.” He changes his angle again, somehow managing to get deeper than before. “Good bitch.”

“God, Alex, you’re, ngh, so big.” Henry can barely string two thoughts together anymore. Too lost in the feeling of being fucked open like this, of being forced to just take it. He can practically feel Alex in his throat.

“Fuck, princess, I’m, ah, close.” Alex attaches his lips to Henry’s collarbone, sucking at Henry’s skin like his goal is to leave a bruise so dark, Henry couldn’t possibly hide it. His hands are leaving bruises in the shapes of his fingerprints, and he’s making good on his promise to give Henry a necklace of bruises.

Alex wraps his hand around Henry’s cock again, strokes fast and rough, and electricity sparks at the contact.

“Yes, god, yes! Please. Let me come, I need, ngh, to come.”

“God, you’re so pretty when you’re begging for it.”

“Alex–”

“Open your mouth for me, baby.”

Henry blinks, uncomprehending, and Alex wrenches his head back with his tight grip curled around Henry’s hair. “I said open your mouth.”

Henry complies, and Alex flashes his teeth in a cruel grin before spitting in his mouth. Henry gasps, eyes rolling back in his head. His whole body shudders, and he wants. Wants to taste Alex’s lips against his. Wants to feel his tongue in his mouth. Wants Alex to bite at his lips until he tastes copper. Wants Alex to want him.

“Swallow.”

Henry shudders, swallowing Alex’s spit in his mouth.

Removes his hand from Henry’s hair, wrapping it around Henry’s dick, now slick with Henry’s precum, and his cock is nailing his sweet spot with almost every thrust. Henry knows he’s letting out little whimpers and moans, but he’s so close to the edge, if Alex doesn’t let him come, he’ll shatter underneath him.

“Fuck, fuck, Henry, I’m gonna come.” Alex’s breaths are coming in a staccato. He scratches his blunt nails roughly across Henry’s scalp, fucks into him once, twice, three times, and comes. Henry doesn’t think he’s wanted anything more than he wants there not to be a condom separating them; he wants to feel Alex, hot inside him.

Alex fucks Henry slowly through the aftershocks, still stroking him lazily, and Henry sobs at still being denied his release, unsure how much more he can take.

Then. “Come for me, princess.”

Henry cries as he comes, vision going white, streaking his cum across his stomach and Alex’s abdomen. He thinks he even feels some up by his chest.

Alex continues to stroke him until he’s whining and trembling and fighting to get away from the overstimulation.

When Henry comes back to himself, he notices Alex is staring down at him and stroking his hair softly. The expression on Alex’s face makes him look away. He looks– he looks like he’s never seen anything as beautiful as what he’s looking at right now. Henry can’t bear to look at him, not knowing it doesn’t mean anything. Knowing it’s just the post-orgasm haze.

Alex doesn’t say anything, just stares at Henry for a moment longer, and then starts to move. He pulls out slowly, placing a gentle kiss to his temple when he notices Henry’s grimace of discomfort. He ties the condom off and tosses it in the bin and shuffles up the bed, leaning over Henry to untie him.

When he’s free, Henry sits up, bringing his wrists to his face, examining the damage. There’s definitely a little bruising, though it’s not nearly as bad as it could have been, and there’s no rope burn. He’s rubbing his wrists, trying to soothe the tender ache when Alex gets up and leaves.

Henry’s not really sure why he’s surprised. They’re not dating. Alex doesn’t owe him anything. He asked Alex to fuck him, and he did. He shouldn’t have expected anything more.

A minute later, Alex returns, a warm, wet cloth in his hand, and a soft smile on his face. Shame floods Henry’s body. Of course Alex wouldn’t just leave someone after something like this. That’s not who Alex is.

Henry offers him his own shaky smile in return.

“You made quite the mess here, Your Highness.” Alex gestures to Henry’s cum that’s cooling on his stomach.

“All for you, dear.”

Alex tips his head back and laughs. A real laugh. Not the one he uses when he’s trying to charm someone, or flirt his way into getting what he wants. Henry watches the elegant column of his throat, his Adams apple bobbing.

Alex uses the cloth to gently wipe away Henry’s cum, and Henry hisses when he reaches his sensitive cock. Alex kisses over his hip bones in apology.

When he’s done, he stretches out on Henry’s bed like he owns it, smiling sleepily at him.

“Are you coming to bed, Your Highness?”

“It’s my bed, you insolent arse.”

“Exactly.” Alex grins

Henry exhales a long breath, gets up to flick off the light, pulls on a pair of boxers, then lays down, somewhat stiffly, next to Alex. He’s not entirely sure why Alex isn’t leaving to go back to his own room. But then Alex sighs contentedly and slings an arm across Henry’s waist before promptly falling asleep, snoring in his ear. Leaving Henry to stare at the ceiling, and wonder if he’ll still be here in the morning.

Eventually, some hours later, he falls asleep too.

#alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #firstprince #firstprince fic #henry x alex #red white and royal blue #red white and royal blue fanfiction #rwrb fic #rwrb #full fic

22 notes · View notes

lingy910y · 10 months ago

Text

Weekly Tag Wednesday

thank u @creepkinginc and @energievie for tagging yours truly <3

name: ling

how do you pronounce your own tumblr handle in your head? most of the time its easier to pronounce numbers in mandarin so i pronounce it as ling-gee-jiu-yi-ling-why

when you look out the window right now what do you see? a wall

what is the most unusual profession someone in your family was in? i’m pretty sure my grandfather fought in a war so that if it counts, we’re normal otherwise

what hobby were you really into as a kid? nothing i’m not into rn

first autofill google result when you type “how can i…?” “how can i be homophobic when my b is gay lyrics” WHAT

if you were a main character in a sitcom, what song be played during the opening credits? idk, maybe get back up again from trolls

what’s the last movie you watched? did you enjoy it? what genre is it? the eras tour concert film, i enjoyed it but esp the man and willow performances

what is your favorite movie genre? psychological thrillers and tragic romances, but i ironically don’t watch them that often cause i’m scared

what movie would you recommend? just check the movie template i filled out two weeks ago

do your IRL humans know about your fandom life? if you’re a creator, do they know you create? good friend and sister knows both, parents know i write and draw but that’s for original works too

if you could do one activity with your pocket/fandom friends what would it be? kahoot/jackbox/frantic fanfic/gartic phone. i played a fandom trivia game with 90 questions on kahoot with discord friends from that fandom and won first place and got discord nitro for 3 months. on the same day i received the art for my reader win for the masquerade, so you can imagine how over the moon i was abt my detective abilities 💀

tagging @deedala, @michellemisfit, @jademickian, @mmmichyyy, @juliakayyy, @doshiart, @iansw0rld, @sgtmickeyslaughter & @mybrainismelted 💓

19 notes · View notes

nancy-reads · 3 months ago

Text

reflections of a gay eldest daughter

the thing about my parents is this.

they aren’t outwardly homophobic. they say it’s fine, they say they don’t support the catholic view of homosexuality, and i’m not going to get kicked out of the house for liking girls. truly, i can’t complain. there are loads of people who have it so much worse than me.

but here’s the thing.

there would always sort of be this quiet disappointment. it would never be said out load, aside from maybe some passive-aggressive remarks, but it would be there. i would know it. my mom would know it. i would no longer be the perfect daughter, the favorite.

i’m supposed to have a husband and a successful career so my brother can be whatever he needs to be. i don’t know if my parents can handle two lgbt kids, and i’ve always known it would be my burden to keep our family together. i was supposed to be normal and straight and not “take the harder path” as my mother says.

i mean, my mom knows that i’m bisexual. i’ve made enough jokes and tossed in girlfriend or boyfriend enough that she knows. she’s told me she has gay friends. but still. she says just date a boy because it’s an “easier life.”

quiet disappointment. i would never feel comfortable telling her about a crush on a girl.

my dad is a whole other ball game. as far as i’m aware, he has no idea i like girls, because i’ve simply never told him. allegedly he responded well to my brother being bi, but being daddy’s little girl has a whole different set of standards. i could see him throwing a fit, or just never treating a girlfriend the same way he’d treat a boyfriend.

it could also be fine. i know that. my dad will go one of two ways. he’ll either go ballistic or be completely fine with it.

the extended family is….troubling. i’m at the age where most of the older people are dying off, but i don’t want to wish death upon them because they wouldn’t support me. i know there are people who would call her my best friend, i know there are MAGA people who wouldn’t show up to a potential wedding. i know that some people wouldn’t support me.

i don’t think they’re brave enough to be outwardly homophobic but….

quiet disappointment.

i’m not ashamed of my sexuality. it’s such an important part of me, and i love women so much. but i also want to be loved by my family. i am the eldest daughter. i am the responsible one in our group of 4 cousins. the one who is always doing well. the one who never fucks up. the one who my grandma can always brag to her friends about.

there’s a lot of things i am supposed to be, and queer isn’t one of them.

#doing some thinking #reflections #gay #lesbian #lgbtq #writing #wlw

5 notes · View notes

kittycatherder · 3 months ago

Text

Ruminations about femboys (not in a fun way though) cw for slurs/words with a lot of baggage to them

I'm reminded of a conversation earlier where I brought up how I saw the main character from Lies of P (the P-man himself) and like immediately saw people making pinup art of him calling him a femboy and like how funny I found that.

To say more about it like P-man (I have yet to play the game so I'll just keep calling him that) is very pretty and dare I say a classic example of a pretty boy/bishounen but he doesn't even dress effeminately and just looks pretty victorian era combat twink with how he fights.

Like for a while I struggled to like think about why this bugged me like at all. Like I'm so down for people to sexual characters and have fun with it but I think it's partially that people like feel like they*have* to force characters they like into predetermined little boxes to really enjoy them instead of like just appreciating a twink and it doesn't help that the art I saw also gave P-man like "has been on hrt for half a year/a few months breast growth"

Like to clarify; I'm also down for any and everyone who wants to get into hrt to do so. Shit; that should be avaible over the counter for fucking free to whoever wants it and knows what all it can do. However people being horny about like femboys with either low dosage/ early in transition doesn't exist in a vacuum and I feel like it's something a lot of people either forgot or honestly maybe never heard about in the first place so let's get into it.

from what I've seen most people who call themselves femboys/into femboys are cool and I'm glad it can help them on their gender journey... However! Ever notice how like Bridget keeps trending on twitter every once in a while despite being canonically a trans girl like years ago??? There's a good reason that. Like femboys as a concept unfortunately came forth from Trap porn/models especially on 4chan.

Making a new paragraph because oh boy this is some mental gymastics: Back in the day (and still now unfortunately) there were cishet guys who had the hots for some trans women (even if it's a fictional and exaggerated representations of them like futanari smut and the such). That said they believed that it's gay to be attracted to trans women and instead of fighting against that learned and deeply ingrained shame and guilt they double downed on it without truly giving up their attraction in the funkiest way possible. You see, dear reader, imagine you were some 4channer cishet guy some like 10 or maybe even 20 or so years ago (I forgot when trap porn got really popular on 4chan but somewhere between those years sound right). You think that a pretty women with a penis could be really hot but that's gay (negative) right? BUT!! What if there was a boy that was just So incredibly pretty and feminine that he even looks like a [cis] girl that if he revealed that he was a guy that you'd be so caught up in the moment that it's somehow less gay to be into him and bone him then just any trans women!! This is like one of the core fantasies of trap porn and I would now since I was lurking on 4chan as a teen and saw quite a large bit of it!!!

Especially sharp readers may have also noticed that this is basically a sexualized version of the trans/gay panic defense except of murdering some poor trans woman after learning she was trans you just have to fuck her though. I'm not gonna go into the whole history of like the trans/gay panic defense but the wiki article is a good enough starting off point and like content warnings for transphobic and homophobic murders like jesus fucking christ. It's awful which leads to how trap porn/trap kink/whatever changed it's name to femboy almost universally after a point.

There was mountains of pushback especially from various people but (not surprisingly) from my perspective a lot of transfems had issues with "Traps" for several reasons including the whole "this is just the trans panic but horny" and still fetishing trans women but in a weirdly indirect way. Like even back in the day of the like early 2010s I saw trap art/comics/doujins/etc that had "traps" have kinda wide hips, some small but almost budding breasts (like they've been on estrogen for months) and really thick thighs and fat asses (like they have had the fat redistribution of mtf hrt).

To go on a tangent for a sec; I bet there are people into femboys from back then who realized they might be bi or gay but there's a large number of them who are still straight and it'd be the easy route to just joke that they haven't realized they are bi yet but! A large part of current principles and understanding of gender and sexuality is self determined. That also includes cis and/or het people. Why would mostly cishet men who were into traps/femboys be so obsessed with them and still call themselves straight then???

It wasn't hard to see that a number of these guys into traps were looking at porn that both depicted idealized transfem bodies that combined both masculine and feminine traits in ways they found attractive but in a way to never acknowledge that trans people but especially trans women exist in the real world. Like back in the day you'd never see any trap art or trap models on 4chan or other sites that would dare utter the words hrt and that feels absolutely on purpose.

.... OH YEAH speaking of hrt! It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone but yeah there are absolutely people who enjoyed trap art and/or who were models who later on realized they were transfem in some way. For everything that sucks with it's inception it was probably the first exposure that some people had to crossdressing/experimenting with their gender or that like a Boy(tm) could ever dress or act in feminine manner. Like now that people stopped calling it trap porn and moved away from a lot of the main fantasy scenarios of it's inception it's easy to see why femboy art/models have been influential to some people and realize that they can either just be a girl, or be a boy in a girly way, or something inbetween in a myriad of ways! Like as someone who almost never saw trans people in media until I found porn I totally get it. What kick starts the first serious questions about one's own gender and/or sexuality is different for everyone and I have no ill will or anything for that.

However, the fact that femboys as a trend (especially in the west) really kicked off on 4chan has left it's mark in a various ways and in addition to this the fact that it's historical ties to all that mess often feels completely ignored and/or forgotten can really get to me at times. It feels that a lot of people who got into femboy stuff nowadays may honestly not even know about some of this due to just not being online on 4chan and other such spaces when anything we now call femboy was very much considered in the niche of trap porn (more or less). There's more and more people who can look at femboy not just as a porn niche but as a gender/a gender goal they wish to emulate and gives them gender euphoria even if they are very much still a cis (or maybe cis++/cis# depending on your programming preference) guy but wants to be on estrogen for a while and be called a good girl and get headpats. Again, I bring of Bridget guilty gear because why are there so many people mad about her being canonical trans and still mad and denying it? Like I once saw someone on twitter and checked out their profile and saw that they are a self identified femboy and while scrolling down saw that they were big mad and denying the translation of the article where daisuke says that bridget is trans! I was pretty surprised for a while even after muting and blocking their account (lol). While thinking about that transphobic femboy it dawned on me that "oh yeah, there were quite a number of trap/femboy fans who were weirdo 4channers" and even if they are now are a femboy they were a bigoted channer first. I'm starting to ramble now but to speed things and wrap this up; I think seeing femboy art of P-man so soon after the game launched where instead of just putting that twink in lingerie and a sexy pose the artist also gave P-man some budding breasts (and removed the cool looking robo-arm which is just wack but more purely a matter of personal taste) just sorta reminded me of that past and I forgot about that feeling till today.

Like again I don't hate on femboys or nothing but I wish it's weird history was remembered more and that when I do come across I hope they can get excited for a twink without giving the boy estrogen for a couple months. Ya'll gotta learn to appreciate twinks without small estrogen tiddies at some point or are the beauty standards for femboys that strict :P

oh and Post Script: Like for femboys having fun posting photos online I never have a problem with them unless they do invoke that old trap porn bs and/or they are bigoted 4channers or redditors or whatever. It's only some art that rarely can rub me the wrong way

#Kitty Cat Ramblin's #trap #p-man #not gonna tag the game I was initially thinking about lol #I'll keep them free from this big ol' rambly essay

3 notes · View notes