#truly my comfort person
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machidejavu · 6 months ago
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i miss soobin
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zaahvi · 6 months ago
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emotionally repressed dalish assassin meets the evil god he's looked up to all his life, folds immediately
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momotonescreaming · 2 days ago
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8x18 coda about Baby Boy Han's name. Angst. Evan Buckley focused. No character hate here please.
The first time Buck hears someone call his nephew Bobby, he flinches. A gut wrenching, muscles seizing, the sharp sting of a slap to the face flinch.
Buck's on Maddie's couch, sharing coffee and freshly baked cookies with her while while Chim takes care of his son in the other room. He listens and chats and smiles until she calls her son Bobby. And then Buck can't move. His muscles are constricting against the sickly whorl of his stomach, his joints locking up, breathing coming faster. Cookie held loosely in his hand, halfway from his plate to his mouth.
He bolds upright, cookie falling from his hand and Buck makes an excuse about an appointment he forgot about. His realtor rescheduled a meeting about his new apartment last minute, and he really needs to run if he wants to make it on time.
Buck stutters out an apology and runs out of Maddie's house.
He drives. Doesn't know where. Doesn't care. He's shaking, knuckles white as he grips the Jeep's steering wheel. Back impossibly straight, tense, muscles locking his shoulders in place. It's going to hurt later. But he doesn't care. He drives. He just needs to get away.
He needs to get as far away from his nephew as possible and he feels sick about it. That's his nephew. Maddie's his sister, been there for him through everyone, she gave him her jeep and got him out. But hearing her call her son Bobby makes him flinch.
He thinks maybe he could've handled them calling him Robby, better.
Buck pulls over. He finds a park on the side of the road outside a laundromat, and hyperventilates. Turns off the engine, and ducks his head, shuts his eyes to block out the light streaming in through the windshield.
He can understand why Chim and Maddie did it. Bobby gave his life for Chim, so he could live to see his son, his family again. Buck can understand why Chim would do this. To honour him, his sacrifice, so his legacy and his memory is carried with them always.
It makes Buck flinch.
He never told anyone — not even Bobby — but he wanted to name his future kids after him. He was more than Buck's captain, he was the father he never had, he loved and cared for him. Buck was going to give his kid the middle name Robert if it was a boy, or Wade if it was a girl. Bobby's middle name was Wade, and it felt gender neutral enough that Buck felt it could work with whatever first name he gave his kids. Or maybe even Robin, for either, if he and his partner felt it worked better.
He wanted to surprise Bobby with it. Make it special.
But he can't do that now. It'll feel cheap. Like he's just copying Chimney.
Buck heaves, nausea swirling at his stomach. He feels sick. Like the rest of his world is crumbling down around him.
He gets broken up with, Bobby dies, no one will let him carry out Bobby's last wish for him to be there for everyone, Eddie tells him he's making the death of his father figure all about himself and then Buck has to move out, Chim gives a speech and pointedly tells him not to transfer, and now Buck can't even name his kids after his own father figure.
If he says anything they'll say he's being selfish. Mean. Cruel. Making everything all about him again.
His phone vibrates, and he doesn't pull it out of his pocket to check who it is. If it's Maddie, or Chimney, he doesn't know if he's going to handle it well. So he doesn't look. Squeezes his eyes shut, presses his face harder against the steering wheel and begs tears not to fall.
He can't fall apart. He can't. He needs to hold it together, so the next time he hears Maddie or Chim or anyone call his nephew Bobby — he won't flinch. No matter how much it feels like its curdling his insides.
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jkvjimin · 1 year ago
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KIM SEOKJIN + music videos ↳ happy birthday, kayla! @cordiallyfuturedwight 🤍🌼
(beautiful background art made by @kithtaehyung)
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ovaryacted · 2 months ago
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Idk, maybe I am too woke but calling people miserable for pointing out that the second season of TLOU uses trauma porn as a plot mechanism involving the deaths of characters of color that’s associated with Zionism when it’s a very known critique since the second game is just tone deaf as fuck. I know that people who just want to stick their head in the sand and engage in this content don’t want their experience to be ruined, believe me I do, and talking about these things isn’t done with the intention to do so. But for the love of god, if poc are telling you very valid and very real moral justifications to acknowledge that a tv adaptation relies on the context of ethnic cleansing from a known Zionist, listen to them. I love Joel Miller, I do, but sitting here and pretending not to connect the dots when we’re watching him being played by a man of color who’s tortured to death by a character intended to be seen as a white savior followed by most poc right after is just insane. People are actually dying, the administration is stripping people’s first amendment rights and testing the constitutional limits of revoking citizenship to people who criticize the ethnostate of Isr@h3ll, and they’ve already done that by making an example out of Mahmoud Khalil and sending him to a detention center in Louisiana knowing the judge will not rule in his favor, which they did just last week. It’s all going to set off a domino effect that targets anyone this administration wants to harm and disappear, and that is a very real threat people have to go through under an authoritarian government.
I know that at this point it doesn’t matter what I say, how much I educate people or even explain that multiple things can be true simultaneously with all of the nuance. But it won’t matter because people just want their old man on the screen and they’ll block out everything else, and I know people will still miss my point after this and will be more reactionary than anything and that’s fine. Honestly, I’m glad y’all find enjoyment in TLOU, I know I used to, but for many people they can’t, not in this political climate, not anymore, and that’s valid and true too. My frustration with all of this comes from a place of genuine hurt with the reality me and many others live with, and I just wished some of you weren’t so quick to dismiss critiques and shut people out when you take disagreements so damn personally. Whether or not you actually care, just because you don’t understand the implications of media like this doesn’t mean those who do are automatically wrong or are purposefully trying to ruin something for others.
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thinwhitedoc · 10 months ago
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SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson
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rendnotmyheart · 4 months ago
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God, if you told me a month ago I would be knee-deep in a Grantaire and subsequently Grantaire/Enjolras and subsequently Enjolras obsession.....
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turtleblogatlast · 1 year ago
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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multiheadcanons · 3 months ago
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JUST AN ODD THING INVOLVING THE MEDIC.
cw: blood, marginal gore. tasteful, almost.
blood on your hands was not a new experience.
the sensation this time was odd.
it dried so quickly. too fast, there was no opting for the dirtying of clothes, it was on your hands. dried there, and it almost felt like it was absorbing into your skin. you almost hoped it did. you wanted to blink and watch it go away, and have clean hands.
but they were bloodied.
and as the doctor turned to face you, his own hands bloodied; the excited smile dropped slightly as he met your eyes.
“you’re not having fun with this, are you?”
and words escaped you.
all you could do is hold your hands up.
“oh… oh! aw, poor baby.” he tutted, removing his hands from his own corpse, freshly wet, liquid garnet adorned. how does he do that. just repel blood. how does it always stay so slick on his hands. why did your hands dry so quickly. “that’s the worst. that’s why you stay in the body. they can’t dry if you’re submerged.”
“i don’t… know… what to do.” it’s hard to form the words as you stare at the palms of your hands. the blood was still there, and still so dry. “do— do i go back in?” the idea of sinking your hands, already sticky with dry blood, back into a liquid thicker than water made your stomach churn.
“is this a moral dilemma you’re having?”
“no— well… no. no.” you felt fairly confident in that answer. “i just want clean hands.”
“take one off the cadaver, they don’t need them.” he snickered at his own joke, but corrected when you didn’t laugh back, offering an apologetic smile instead. “we can give you clean hands.” he gently grabbed your hands in his own. “come with me. i hate when you’re like this.”
“like what?”
“sad. it makes me feel bad for you. it’s better when you laugh at my jokes.”
“so you pity me.”
“a little! only when you’re sad.” the honesty was comforting, really. it’s what you’ve come to expect from him as he leads you to the sink, turning the water on. “do you remember how to wash your hands or should i do it for you?” what a thoughtful question to ask.
“can you just— take them off? and put them back on? is that a thing you can do?”
“your hands?” you nod. “i can absolutely do that. it’s going to hurt.” you look at them again and feel bile rise in your throat.
“take them off.”
that’s not something you have to tell the doctor twice. his disappearance was short, as he returns with his faithful bonesaw. he takes your hand, firmly this time, and holds it down on the counter. as you twitched your fingers, they almost feel stuck to the meat of his palm.
“i’ll make it quick. the worst part is the bone. but your wrists are so frail… i’m sure if i place it right i can do it in a single swing.” his confidence made you feel better about the risk you were taking. “take a deep breath. one—”
and did he deliver on his promise.
gone in one swift action; and you didn’t think about it until he pulled your hand away from your body and set it in the sink. and it wasn’t the worst pain in the world, really. is this adrenaline?
“what a wonderful reaction! one more time. keep a straight face again and i’ll give you a prize.” he took your other hand, holding it in the same place. “deep breath in.” he didn’t even bother to count this time, and you flinched. that swing hurt. he scoffed. “you can’t move. now i have to cut through the rest. breathe, please.” as you began your first breath, he began to saw through. and each pass hurt. to the point that your breaths were synchronized with the swift motion of the saw. even after it ended. “all done. i’ll clean them and return them shortly. here, you can even watch.”
you stared down at your now handless arms; throbbing with a pain you couldn’t quite feel yet. and joined his side at the sink.
he handled your removed hands gently, though your arms currently dripped blood on the floor. he paid it no mind for now as he reached for the soap. gently cradling your hand in his own, he began the process of scrubbing the blood from the skin. and as the water turned the color of rust, and more and more of what you knew to be your hand was exposed, he chuckled to himself.
“you know, it’s odd. i’ve never thought about it until just now. you have quite pretty hands.” he mused. “calloused. yet still so soft. they’re lovely.” he turned it over, running his fingers down your palm, opting to rub the soap into the skin in small circles with this thumb. you could swear you felt it as you watched. as he made his way to your fingers, taking care to get underneath your nails. it was a meticulous process he was focused on, and you could only watch in silence as he finished with one and grab the other. “would you mind grabbing a— right. nevermind.” he chuckled at his own folly, and you couldn’t help but crack a smile either.
it was pretty funny.
as he focused on the other, he moved quicker, but did not sacrifice the thoroughness of his work. his brows twitched occasionally as he scrubbed a little harder, but he looked so relaxed otherwise. he was almost playing with your hands in the water. intertwining his fingers with yours, examining your nails, going over and over the same spots he’d already done as he traced the lines of your palm. and you swear you could feel it. you could feel it all. he gently placed the second with the first and went for a towel, returning quickly once again.
“there. all done. look at how clean they are! do you feel better? do you feel better staring at your clean hands?” you thought about it for a moment as you stared at your clean, dry, severed hands on the counter, and back at your still dripping nubs. then back at your hands on the counter. honestly, yeah. you did feel better. at least you certainly didn’t feel how you did before witnessing this twisted act of care, and truthfully, anything was better than that. so you nodded. “perfect. let’s get these back on you, make sure they work, then let’s say we clean up in here and return tomorrow with a better mood and a pair of gloves for you, hm?”
you weren’t sure how to thank him. you honestly weren’t sure if you should.
but you could certainly try again tomorrow.
“i think we can manage that.”
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dukeofthomas · 9 months ago
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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leulahart · 2 years ago
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sometimes a family is a drunken mentor and his two tributes who survived the war against all odds
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fishing-lesbian-catgirl · 1 year ago
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I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”
#it’s soooooo easy#‘hey that thing you said was kind of insensitive’ -> feel awful and apologize immediately ->#try to explain that I’m a flawed human being in hopes that they don’t hate me as much -> realize I’m using it as an excuse -> feel worse ->#want to explain that I feel bad in hopes that it makes my apology sound genuine -> realize if I do I’m starting a pity party ->#Devil on my shoulder says that I SHOULD start a pity party bc then people have to console me even though I’m the one who fucked up ->#realize that if the devil on my shoulder thinks that that some part of me must think that. thinking that is kind of terrible ->#feel like I’m terrible -> start crying -> realize that crying will turn it into a pity party anyway ->#realize that I don’t want to feel like I’m terrible. that I do actually want people to console me -> realize I don’t deserve it ->#admit that I am truly horrible for trying to turn my fuck up into a way to make people comfort me ->#post about it on tumblr to vent (?) -> realize now I’m starting a pity party in front of almost 8k people ->#realize that makes me even worse. -> break down in tears feeling sorry for myself when. again. IM the one who fucked up#repeat at and slight inconvenience or mistake. feel like a piece of shit forever :)#it’s a flawless system. if someone sees me struggling and tries to console me I can redirect that to confirm that I’m a horrible person#try and tell myself that I’m spiraling bc of mental illness -> that’s an excuse ->#excuse = horrible person bc I’m not willing to own up to my mistakes -> return to spiral
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rockafstw · 2 months ago
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Sometimes I remember Prost has said Senna told him things that he promised to never repeat to anyone and I go “Hm.”
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mr-payjay · 5 months ago
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watching the nickel apology scene from the great bluish bakery over and over going completely insane. i could rewrite this to actually sound like nickel.
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liriostigre · 3 months ago
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‎ 💭 🛌🏻
#2 years ago someone sent me an anonymous message saying The Savage Detectives was boring and then a few others about The Tunnel#and now my beloved LA CIUDAD Y LOS PERROS (The Time of the Hero) !!! you people don't deserve latin american literature 😭#btw it's bc they get them as results in the quizzes i make at the end of the year‚ and i appreciate that they read my recs‚#but damn it breaks my heart and I immediately assume* that those readers have reduced their reading experience to tropes and idk#something that gives them instant pleasure and that doesn't really challenges them#bc they are already accustomed to never leaving that comfort zone#* i assume this stuff bc i'm bitter lol my bad. obviously there are plenty of reasons why they didn't like those books and that's okayyyy#but seriously i wish i had written the time of the hero. it's so sickeningly good. maybe the sauce is in the language#maybe you just have to be able to speak the most gorgeous language in the world—spanish but not from spain‚ yes shade—to truly get it#so yeaa idk i won't reply to that ask just like i didn't reply to the one about The Savage Detectives#unless the person who sent it gives me a good argument 🤨#i keep thinking they messed up the translation bc the title lol let's start there. it should be a literal translation; The City and the Dog#but yea who knows#and about the savage detectives i will always be mad about that ask bc you don't understand the ways i fw Roberto Bolaño#he's THE chilean writer to me#and like a true chilean he loved mexico 🙂‍↕️#so The Savage Detectives is so special 🥹 as the cheese people say it's a 'love letter' to mexico lol#anywayy sorry for being annoying 😔#Dogs*
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hawkeshep · 2 months ago
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kinda sucks that I couldn’t play datv long enough to see the solavellan reunion but oh well
#I don’t remember what the last straw was but I had a realization like#“why do i have to pretend im not playing a game from my favorite franchise in order to even remotely enjoy it?”#and that’s truly fucking bullshit as someone who has loved this franchise for years and given bioware sooooo much of my time money#and devotion. it doesn’t feel the same and none of my choices matter and things I was hoping to get resolved from past games more often than#not didn’t even get mentioned or were shoved under the rug in an easily missed codex entry#the fact that solavellan is in my fucking VEINS and I don’t even have the motivation to trudge through the rest of this game is telling#I should’ve known after what they did with andromeda they’d fuck this up#but if they made the game for the old fans the new ones wouldn’t throw money at them so alas#*johnny silverhand theme starts playing*#where is my nuke#any time I start to talk about this I start calm and it finds a way to upset me enough that I get actually angry#remember when I was a bioware brand embassador hhhahahahhshsjsa wait I still am#I cannot promote that shit anymore#I’m typing all of this with a lucanis pfp because I don’t hate the characters I hate how they were written if that makes sense#datv critical#I’m just SAD ok#stuck between wanting to play dragon age when I want comfort and knowing that I will never get a conclusion to any of the points brought up#dai wasn’t perfect either by all means but jesus christ at least it had consistency#anyway play cyberpunk 2077 for clear skin#shut up kenna#IM IRATE NOW. FUCK#I’m not even like… like I am truly at my core not a hateful person. I am not a hater#but this game is truly 100% grass fed grade A ass#ok i’m done
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