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apixrl · 4 years ago

Text

DRIVER'S LICENSE.

katsuki bakugou x fem! reader

WARNING(S): angst. cheating. swearing because it's bakugou.

word count: 4.5k

song: drivers license // olivia rodrigo (i wonder why...)

note(s): so i captioned this *at the time of writing* 'hello and welcome to i've had the worst two weeks ever so i wrote a katsuki oneshot to cope' and it's probably one of my most personal pieces of writing tbh

"-come Tuesday and we'll potentially see an end to this heavy downpour of rain. Temperatures will be on the rise to around-"

The talk on the radio cut short at the jab of your finger, heaving a great sigh which faded into the muffled pitter-patter of rain from outside. The streets had been showered with heavy downpours for the last week or so, no sign of sun or a still and restful day. Notwithstanding the miserable outdoors, the windscreen wipers on your car never ceased in their duty to grant you a clear view of the road ahead. And whilst you were grateful for their devotion, it didn't feel clear in the slightest. In fact, the road had never felt so blurry.

Shivering against the cold night chill and tucking your knees cosily to your chest, you eyed the raindrops on the windows. They raced against one another before they dripped down to your car's body, their glossy presence obvious thanks to the many hues of street lamps that surrounded them. You could have watched them for hours, being honest. Something about the droplets of water battling it out quite enticing. Anything to take you away from the cruel reality you were living in.

Your heart ached and yearned. But to no avail, the one you ached and yearned for didn't love you back.

Not anymore, at least.

Just the mere thought provoked a pulsating pang to resonate throughout your entire body. A pang filled with grief and sadness. Anger and hurt. You missed his sun-kissed face on the sunny mornings. You missed his eyes and how they gazed at you from across the room. You missed the smiles and laughter he would only show for you and you alone. The sense of glee and euphoria that came with that honour. Yet all of it was gone and there was no way you could get it back.

The memories of what had been triggered more waterworks. Hot, salty tears dug at the corners of your eyes and trickled down your face. Your motionless car concealed your cries and sobs. Every thrash against the wheel as you questioned to nobody in particular what went wrong and why. How you didn't see the signs sooner. What you could have done better. When he stopped loving you. If he ever planned to stop loving you. Whether it would have hurt more if you found out sooner.

All these questions with nothing to answer them.

Katsuki Bakugou had always fascinated you. From the very moment you met. You accompanied your friend on a double date, and he was the guy who she matched for you. Whilst he originally acted as though a blind date was the last place he wanted to be, underneath the aggression you could tell there was something much more genuine and true.

And your assumptions were correct. Truth be told, Katsuki Bakugou was one of the most genuine and truest people you had met (at the time). Once it was just the two of you, he allowed his true colours to unveil. Through the smallest of kind gestures that still haunted your mind to this day. Then upon confrontation, as you bid each other goodbye at your back door, his denial resulted in a flirtatious contest which then proceeded to an intimate night that changed your life forever. From there your mind was set.

He was the one.

Emphasis on was.

So blinded with a fairy tale love you grew so accustomed to, you never saw it coming. Never in your two-year relationship - that had so much strength and commitment built on top of it, never did you think that Katsuki Bakugou would throw it all out of the window like it was nothing. Disregard your loyalty and adoration for a drunken one night stand that slowly became an occasional hookup. Which soon became a mandatory pastime once a fortnight. Then twice. Maybe more than that. You wouldn't put it past him with what you knew now.

He kept it from you for nearly six months. Six months. The only reason you discovered his lies and deception was because you were let off early one night from work. You worked a night shift, see. Your last job had fallen to shambles, and it was temporary whilst you searched for a new one. And whilst that did take a toll on your relationship with Katsuki Bakugou, mostly finding time for intimacy since his working hours were during the day, none of that gave him any right to go and do what he did.

That wasn't one of the only reasons, you knew that for sure. There were other motives for his lack of loyalty. But you were never told. After you froze at the sight of another woman under his hold and stormed straight back to your car to flee. After he chased you down the flights of stairs in nothing but baggy pants into the streets of a twilight Musutafu. After you screamed into the darkness and belted your fists against his chest. Fists that were driven with rage and hurt and every emotion that burned like the hottest of fires and froze like the coldest of ice. He never even told you. He never made an effort to address it. Nor had he attempted to call or even try to visit your Mom's house - where you stayed as you searched for a permanent place to live. Just because you retreated for your car and cried that it was over, he never tried. But that didn't mean you weren't allowed an explanation. An apology. Something to give you a form of closure and a reason to move on. But you never did.

That wasn't even what hurt the most, either.

As silly as it was, the thing that hurt you the most was the very car you sat in.

EIGHT MONTHS AGO . . .

The red glow of traffic lights hit Katsuki's vermilion irises as he stared dead ahead at the long line of vehicles, the ash-blond heaving a sigh into the air. His finger tapped impatiently against the steering wheel he gripped with one hand, the spare rested casually against your upper thigh affectionately.

"I can't believe we have to sit through this torture just to go to some damn party," Katsuki grumbled, taking a glance over at you. His brows furrowed when he met you peacefully slouched down, nose dug into your phone as you presumably played some sort of game to pass the time. Like you had no care in the world for your predicament.

"It's your best friend's birthday, love," You mused back, Katsuki surprised you even listened based on your focused expression directed towards your phone. "It's not like we can just miss it,"

"Yeah, but we could have missed all this pain by taking the train instead of driving across town during rush hour,"

"Trains are icky, the seats would have ruined your suit and my dress," You pointed out, looking at the blond over your screen, sending him a sweet smile. He cocked a brow, a smirk creeping its way onto his lips as a scoff of a laugh broke out between them.

"Right, and laying down like a sloth is gonna help keep your dress uncreased?" He returned, amused at your realisation. At his comment, you sat up faintly and pouted your lip.

"Driving means more time to play Gravity Pops, and so does traffic,"

"Seriously? That's the game you're playing? You're such a dumbass,"

"Yes! I'm in the top 11% globally! I need to get to number one!" Was your protest, your arms flailing ahead of you briefly for dramatic emphasis. Katsuki clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, though the small smile plastered over his lips betrayed his initial reaction. Unable to deny your determination, he spoke with confidence and almost a sense of pride.

"Number one, hm? Clearly rubbing off on you aren't I?"

"In a way, yes,"

"That's my girl," Katsuki remarked, earning a giggle from you that was uplifting to hear. It was there your attention went back to your phone, but Katsuki wasn't done. "So, speaking of cars, Y/N," Hearing his chosen tone - which sounded suggestive, you eyed him closely. Hesitant to reply as you had a sense of what he planned to say.

"...Yes?"

"Have you thought any more about getting your driver's license yet?"

Called it.

"...No,"

"What?" Katsuki began, tilting his head. He was surprised that he felt surprised. You had said those words in regards to this topic countless times. Still, he persisted. "Is that a no meaning you haven't or no meaning that you don't want to?"

"Both?" You half-guessed, sheepishly grinning at the look you were sent. "Look, cars scare me okay? And so do roads. And people. My nerves wouldn't be able to handle it! I can barely communicate with people face to face, so me being on the road is a recipe for disaster!"

"I know but -," Katsuki exhaled sharply, understanding your reasoning. You had voiced these concerns when confiding to Katsuki about your fears of the road. Something built and corrupted from social media as well as phobias and fears in general, it was a battle you had yet to overcome. You wanted to drive but was terrified of messing up or causing chaos on the road. Potentially inflicting harm to someone and yourself. You still weren't sure what triggered it all, but over the years it had manifested into something quite irrational, to say the least. Katsuki had been supportive of it and whilst he truly would love to always act as your personal taxi - you couldn't hide from it forever. It wasn't his job to keep you in your comfort zone. That, and he couldn't always be there for you that way. What if he was miles away and you had somewhere urgent to go like the hospital? "It's not as scary as you think. I know it's hard to believe that but seriously. The freedom you get from driving is amazing,"

"I'll think about it a little longer, okay?" You said with hesitancy, looking at Katsuki for a sign of confirmation. He nodded in defeat, knowing you probably needed more time and felt put on the spot. So he averted his eyes back to the road to check if the traffic had moved at all. It had not.

"Okay," Katsuki said. "But I can't be your taxi service forever,"

"But I like you being my taxi service," You jokingly said, a little sadness in your tone. "Your road rage is funny and I like watching you get out of the car and walk to my door after pulling up in my driveway,"

"What do you mean?" Katsuki asked, catching the twitch of a smile on your face upon saying those words. It struck his interest in what you could mean.

"You know, like when you say you're coming to pick me up?" You explained. "You pull up at my driveway and I don't know... simple things like that just remind me of how much I love you. It's dumb really, but it's important to me,"

"Really?" Katsuki questioned in disbelief. How something so small and meaningless could mean so much was puzzling. He couldn't understand why it was so special to you. But that didn't invalidate it in any shape or form. So he pushed that aside, replacing his wonder with gratitude. He returned to your bashful and flustered features, feeling a smile grow on his face.

"Yeah," You said, shrugging to downplay your words. "I love you. Stuff like that means a lot to me,"

"I love you too, even though you're a dumbass," Katsuki said, humbled by what you had said. The two of you shared a gentle exchange, your hand grabbing hold of Katsuki's as you gave it a squeeze. He squeezed back, and silence ensued. Had he realised such a thing sooner, then Katsuki would have pulled up in your driveway much more than he had been doing. But at that a thought struck his mind, victoriously smirking as he had an idea on how to potentially sway your worries. Or begin swaying it. Something was better than nothing, after all. "But what if I wanted you to pull up in my driveway one day?" His words caused you to look over at him in curiosity, hearing the seriousness in the question. It caught you off guard momentarily, having to contemplate as you gradually concluded that he had a point.

"Well one day, maybe I will," You vaguely replied and sat up a little bit. The hand holding yours pulled back and lifted to land on your shoulder, gripping reassuringly tight.

"I hope you do, I'd like to get in on this driveway action," He joked and smirked, faith riddled in his expression. You giggled ever so slightly, tempted to lean forward and peck Katsuki on the lips in thanks, but never a thing was to happen as the alerting red light from outside switched to warm amber.

"Ah!" Katsuki yelled in triumph, his attention leaving you swiftly as he got back into the driver's seat. Giving you no opportunity to respond to him and overall ruining the moment. "Took fucking long enough!"

The light turned green, and he set the car in motion, leaving you with your thoughts and the words he had uttered that day as the traffic stood still.

All your efforts, all your time devoted to getting over your fear of driving and the road as a whole... all of it was pointless. You did it for him. You promised him you would overcome your fears and better yourself. He built that motivation up brick by brick until you could grab hold and seize control. He wasted all that time to get you to reach such a stepping stone only to abandon it once it was through.

Just so you could pull up in his driveway, just like he requested. And what did you get in return when you finally did? A stab in the back and the loss of your other half.

You wiped your eyes via the sleeve of your hoodie, dampening the cuffs. Sniffling and exhaling a shaky breath, your gaze landed on nothing in particular. Yet somewhere within your clouded mind, you found interest. As that was where your gaze remained for a certain amount of time. You weren't sure how long exactly. It could have felt like an hour and only been five minutes. Or it could have felt like five minutes and was actually an entire hour. Either way, the clock ticked on and didn't wait for you to stop.

It was a good thing you had pushed your fears down and rose above them. It just pained you that you didn't even do it for yourself. Without Katsuki Bakugou, you never had any intentions of doing so. As a matter of fact, you had set out to take the train or bus for the rest of your life. Hell, you were going to use a bike and scooter if you got desperate. Had he even acknowledged how much work you put in just to get where you were? Was all that effort part of the reason why he decided to cheat? There was absolutely no telling. Absolutely no telling at all.

You wondered what he was doing now. Was he laid in bed resting peacefully? Out with his friends for a boy's night only? Maybe cooking his favourite curry? Possibly on a late-night jog despite the harsh weather? It never stopped him other times.

Did he ever think about you? Regret what he did and the actions he took? Had he ever considered apologising? Would he ever apologise? What if he was celebrating the fact you were no longer in his life? Had there ever been any love there for you in the start? Did he ever actually want you to get your driver's license because he believed in you? Or was it so he could get rid of you with much more ease? Make his departure less severe and less selfish? A way to justify his choices because it's not like you were hopelessly left to suffer everyday life now that you had a means of transport. Was he really that cruel?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sharp jingle of your phone, the device lighting up as it sat in the passenger seat to your left. It took two or three rings for you to glance over at it, E/C eyes sore and drained from crying out. You squinted them to read the caller, seeing the name 'Work' fade in and out on the brightly lit screen. For a second or two you argued back and forth on whether to even bother picking up. Something about reaching across for your phone requiring a magnitude of energy you no longer possessed. Having spent it all on your cries of agony and the deprivation of your old life as a whole.

However, you had ignored your work in the last couple of weeks too many times now. So many times that pulling the same stunt again would probably risk you losing your job. It's not like your work was interested in why you felt such overwhelming pain... all they cared about was you turning up to do what you were hired to.

So using a forceful hand, you leaned over to pick it up. You fumbled to grip your phone and accepted the call with a dainty tap of your thumb. Then you blinked away your tears and subtly sniffed, pressing your phone to your ear to address the caller.

"Hello?" You practically croaked, quick to clear your throat and push any signs of upset down. It was presumably dry from how much you'd cried in the last two hours.

"L/N! Hey! Glad you finally picked up!" Unlike the droll and unvarying tones of your boss, the person on the other end was much more lively and greeting. So much so you could only assume it was none other than your work colleague, Etsuko. Probably the only person you genuinely liked where you worked, and the only person who made the time pass by faster. "I was worried you were gonna leave me on answer phone again,"

"Hm, what? Oh right. Yeah. Sorry about that. Haven't been feeling too great," You lied, even though it wasn't a complete fib. You hadn't been feeling great at all. You had never felt so rock bottom. It all just originated from your mind over anything else. But when did work care about that?

"Sounds like it, I hope you've been okay!" Still cheery as ever, Etsuko followed up with a laugh to fill the silence you created by not saying anything. "Is everything well? It's nothing serious, is it?"

"No. It's not. Just some dumb cold I caught," You excused. "I'm better now, though," Slouching down in your seat, you decided to ask the question that had been roaming your mind the last minute or so. "So why are you calling?"

"Oh, right!" Etsuko said. "Mr Kobashigawa was just wondering when you planned on coming back - for schedule reasons and to get people to fill in for your shifts,"

"I er...," Not entirely sure how to answer, you stuttered as your words cowered away in your attempt to speak. "I don't -,"

"It's okay, he doesn't need an answer yet," Etsuko reassured. "Maybe in the next day or two, though? He wasn't really specific, being honest,"

You sighed at the guilt brewing in your stomach. You weren't even sick for crying out loud! Why were you lying just so you could wallow in your own sadness?! Like that was going to change anything! Sitting around and crying wasn't going to give you what you wanted. You weren't getting him back. Katsuki Bakugou wasn't yours anymore. He made that clear by cheating. By making minimal effort to give you an explanation. By causing you so much pain with little care or concern. Why couldn't you get it through your thick skull that your feelings didn't matter anymore?! That they were being wasted on a lost cause. A lost relationship!

"Well I mean -," You started, running a hand through your hair as you tread carefully on your words. "I could come in tonight? Has Mr Kobashigawa got someone to fill for me yet?"

"Um... no? I don't think so?" Etsuko answered, uncertainty in her voice. "Let me go check. Be right back!" And with that, the line fell dead. The call didn't end, just Etsuko placing the phone down to get an answer for you. Leaving you all by your lonesome once more.

Reflecting, you could see the logic in your thoughts. The best course of action would be to hold your head up high and live life the way it was before. When you were happy. Just... excluding the factors that actually made you happy. Which was him. Wouldn't that be healthier than crying all the time?

Yes, it would. But was it what you wanted? Not really.

"L/N!" The voice in your ear startled you to the point you nearly dropped your phone, panicking through a gasp as you fiddled to grab hold of it again.

"Wa-! Careful you nearly scared me half to death!"

"Oops, sorry!" Etsuko giggled softy, sounding as perky as ever. "I'm just excited to tell you that nobody's filling in your shift! You can still come in for ten-thirty!"

"I-I can?" You asked. After an upbeat 'yeah!' filtered through your ears, you considered your options. Remaining in the serene, quiet confines of your car with only the downfall of rain to accompany you sounded like utter bliss, given how you felt. But you felt an internal kick up the backside which told you - no... demanded you to just get over this moping attitude of yours and look on the bright side. To get over the lack of closure and simply... move on.

Yeah... if he found out you were an utter train wreck thanks to the damage he inflicted; Katsuki Bakugou would probably revel in it. He had a history of gaining pleasure from other's misfortunes... or it was rumoured he did (during his younger years, anyway). You had never wanted to believe it but you couldn't find a reason to refute it anymore. After all you had been through, it seemed to fit his character and personality more than ever. So with that fact apparent, you held a firm forefront and searched for a determined tone, and made your answer to your friend.

"You betcha I'm coming in! I'll see you in half an hour!"

Too enthusiastic? Probably. Still, it was better than acting pessimistic and hopeless. No matter, however, because that was exactly the attitude Etsuko had been hoping for.

"Alrighty!" She exclaimed, smile audible in her voice from the other end. "I can't wait to get our dynamic duo going again! I've missed you!"

"Yeah, me too, 'Suko," You hummed in agreement.

"Great! Catch ya later my partner in crime,"

"Heh. You too, dumbass," You found a reason to smile from her childish behaviour, though your choice of wording seemed to hit a nerve. It did more than that, it practically reverted all that confidence and progress you had made in the last ten minutes of being on the phone. All from one innocent word that escaped your lips.

Dumbass.

That's what he used to call you.

The phone call had ended without you even noticing, your phone still pressed to your ear as a small buzz sounded into it. You stared dead ahead, flashes of all the times he had said that word to you running through your memory. It was his form of a pet name. Some might see it as a little degrading on the surface, but you never minded. Once you learned the deeper meaning of the name, it became something equivalent to the likes of 'Sunshine' or 'Angel'. If anything, you ended up preferring it to those sorts of nicknames. Hence why Katsuki Bakugou had called you it on so many occasions.

No. Stop it. You can't let something like that bother you. Not after the efforts you just went to. Stop. Shaking yourself out of it, you returned to reality and permitted your phone to drop onto your lap. Your hand once holding it gripped onto your steering wheel, the other following shortly behind to do the same.

"I love you too, even if you're a dumbass,"

That rung in your head one final time, tormenting and mocking your present. The things you'd be willing to do to hear him say that to you one last time...

"No," You firmly shook your head, banging it lightly against the headrest to return yourself to reality. An attempt to knock those words to the back of your mind where you could lock them in a securely tight safe for the rest of eternity. "Just... just don't think about it. Easy. Just focus on what you're doing now," You reached for your keys which sat in the ignition, taking hold and turning them ever so slightly. Your car stirred to life, engine rumbling and the dials lighting up in a form of warm greeting. "You're going to work. No more feeling sorry for yourself,"

No more feeling sorry for yourself.

Your eyes set themselves on the road ahead. The vacant, dark and solitary road that didn't wait for you to make your decision. Life moved on after all, so if you were going to do anything - it was to catch up and take the winning lead.

So despite your circumstances; your inner desires and wishes and begs for what you wanted back but to no avail would ever get, you pulled out of your parking space (which had long exceeded the time limit, thankfully nobody was around to see) that drowned in pitiful rains of the night, and began to make your way down the street. In search of a place better than the one you were trapped in.

An endless road that wasn't all that clear, you were going to tackle it. Not for anyone else, unlike the last time you met difficulty and hardships. No, no, no. This time it was for your sake. All the mental energy to recover and become a better version of yourself, in the endgame it was all for you. You could push past all the deceit and lies you had been told and you could push past your normality which was him. Katsuki Bakugou. The man that hurt you as nobody had ever done before. You could create new normality without him.

A thought of forever he created and destroyed, resorted to driving alone past his street, never to be thought of again.

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sirowsky · 3 years ago

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The Genius

Part of the Driving Mr. Tovar Universe

So, I had a thought. This isn't an ask or request, just my heart refusing to let this story go. What was Sam's endgame? I always knew what the answer was, it just never seemed relevant to reveal in the original story. But maybe some of you would like to know anyway.

Description: You find out that Sam left behind encrypted information for you, and in uncovering it, discover exactly who the enigma of a man really was.

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Warnings: Cursing, word games, AI-technology, obnoxious hotel-guests, the awesomeness of King, bits of angst, bits of fun. Word count: 5360 (1753 words added) Masterlist of the original story

A life’s work to change the world. His mission, his passion, his truest devotion. And yet, he’d given it up seemingly without hesitation, upon learning of nature’s memory. Its ability to correct things.

Why?

How had finding out about the actual magic of this world managed to render his efforts useless enough to completely rob him of his determination to finish something he’d literally spent his entire life trying to achieve?

Sam had been a mystery even to the people closest to him. All by his own design and clearly part of his efforts to keep you all safe. But as time passed without the eccentric genius around, somehow, his behaviour only ever became more unfathomable to you. You’d always wondered who he’d really been, underneath the mask which was all anyone had ever been allowed to see of him, but as the years stretched on, you found yourself increasingly frustrated by the idea that maybe… you hadn’t known him at all.

--=¤=--

“Hey, AIVA. How are we doing this morning?”

“Good morning, Peg. The hotel is operating without issues thus far, today. How’s the family?”

“They’re okay. Alice is worried about her college applications; she’s expecting to start receiving replies this week.”

The machine already knew this, and only asked because it had been programmed to be polite and friendly, but you’d actually started to enjoy talking to it. Not as though it had become a friend, but more like it was your diary. A place where you could air out your thoughts and say things out loud which other people might not like to hear, but without the fear of hurting anyone’s feelings.

“Considering the technology utilised by all of the schools to which she’s applied, I could access their servers and find out for her.”

“You absolutely will not. Don’t deprive her of the excitement of having to wait for something, not to mention in the actual mail. People underestimate how lovely it is to receive regular post, these days.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“No, I guess not. So, let’s get to work, shall we. How many guests are booked in at the moment?”

“Twelve. All of whom are checking out this morning.”

“All of them? Sheesh, Will and Omera are gonna have a busy morning. I’ll have to ask Coulson to assist them. Any online bookings overnight?”

“Yes. I have nine new bookings, with arrival time ranging from 9 am to 11 pm.”

“Right… Well, as usual; no check-ins before noon, so if the early arrivals wanna lounge about the estate, they can, but do a comprehensive work-up on them, please.”

“Certainly.”

You pulled out your phone to send Coulson a text, noting that the clock was nearing 7:30 am, which meant your morning rounds were about to begin, so you began to turn away from the machine.

“Anything else I need to know?” you asked, before heading for the elevator, expecting AIVA to give one of her usual replies.

But she didn’t.

“Unclear,” was the answer you got instead, which confused you, leaving you frozen and blinking at the screen before you.

“What do you mean?”

“I have just detected a new block of code, hiding in my programming, which I can’t decipher.”

“You just detected it? You’ve been online for how many years, and this thing didn’t come to your attention until now?”

“It would seem something triggered it to be revealed at this time.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps it was placed behind a time-lock.”

“Well then, what is it? It couldn’t be a virus, right?”

“Unlikely. The code has Sam’s signature, but it’s shielded behind a digital wall which I’m unable to penetrate.”

“Why would he do that? If he put this code in you, he had to have a reason for it. Why the hell wouldn’t he make sure you could access it?”

“Perhaps it was not intended for me.”

That threw you for a moment. Because the only other possibility was that he’d left whatever this was for you, since you were the only one who had access to AIVA’s systems.

“It appears to require a key-phrase,” the machine continued after a few beats, having apparently kept investigating while you deliberated.

Unfortunately, this information wasn’t very helpful.

“Oh, fantastic. How many languages did he speak?”

“Fifteen, that I knew of.”

“And he expects us to find the exact words to open this block on what? Pure luck…? God damned it, Sam,” you sighed, once again wondering why everything had needed to be such a secret around the man. “Just, leave it for now, AIVA.”

“As you wish.”

--=¤=--

You went about your days in much the same manner, occasionally taking a stab at the elusive phrase, without success. The weeks passed, turning into months and then years, and before long, you’d forgotten all about it in the bustle of ordinary life.

Alice moved away to college, closely followed by Emma, although they went their own separate ways. You and Pero adjusted to having only Johnny in the house, but it was harder for Pero who was used to spending a large portion of his days with them. So, he would spend more and more time with you instead, which you didn’t mind at all, except that he continued to be a constant distraction. It was good, though. He was a reliable reminder that you were never older than you felt, and that life was only as much fun as you chose to make it.

Your daily trip down to the main computer was one of the things he never accompanied you for, though. Mostly because he was in the stables in the mornings, but also because he just didn’t like being down there. Something about the humming drives and conduction and cooling fluids being pumped around, always creeped him out. He said that being down there made him feel like AIVA was more of a person than a machine somehow, because that was its body.

You worked so much with it that it had felt like a person to you for a long time now. Not that you ever forgot the ones and zeros it was built on, but it often mimicked emotional responses, like joy, appreciation, irritation or even sarcasm, and you could hear so much of Sam in those little moments, that it was almost like AIVA was just a digital version of him. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking.

--=¤=--

“AIVA, where’s Pero? He’s not answering his phone,” you asked, walking into the server room just as your third attempt to reach him had failed.

You could’ve just remained up in the hotel and asked the machine to locate him, but the hotel was full today which meant that people were loitering about all over the place, and you weren’t too keen on the public becoming aware of the estate having its own super-computer.

“He’s in the shower.”

“Crap.”

“Did you need something, Peg?”

“Just entertainment. I’m bored waiting for these insufferable dignitaries, and if anyone knows how to help me pass the time…” you trailed off suggestively, and the machine knew exactly what you meant.

“I can offer you a selection of erotic videos or images, if you like.”

You were too stunned to dignify its suggestion with a response, which it apparently took to mean that you were considering its offer, prompting it to elaborate.

“There are a wide variety of all your preferred positions and types of sex, to chose from. Would you like me to display a few?”

“No, thank you. How the fuck do you even know my preferences in the bedroom?”

“As per your request, I monitor all areas of the estate to which guests are permitted entry, many of which you and your husband have-…”

“Alright, stop talking,” you cut it off, suddenly extremely eager to change the subject, no longer in any kind of mood for distractions. “How about you tell me what you think is the reason why people who are considered important for one reason or another, are always incapable of keeping to a schedule?”

“I can think of many reasons, however, I know precisely why these particular important people are running late. They are currently visiting The Gold Standard.”

“The restaurant?!”

“Indeed.”

Well, you’d looked for a distraction, and now you had one, by the name of fury.

“Those assholes have the audacity to order dinner here, only to then insult Doris by stuffing themselves at a five-star restaurant on the way! Not to mention completely waste my time by bluntly ignoring the schedule we agreed on! I’m gonna fucking strangle them when they get here.”

“I hope you’re being dramatic, because I can scrub their digital trail, but ten dignitaries disappearing from the estate would still be difficult to hide.”

“Oh, I’m totally being dramatic, but I am also totally gonna make them pay. They’re gonna eat the food they’ve ordered, I don’t give a rat’s ass if it makes them puke, and then they’re gonna sit at their tables while I waste their time with fucking nonsense for hours on end, and then we’ll see how they fucking like it!”

“Do you feel better now?”

“No!” you fully screamed then, because the machine wouldn’t take offense, and you needed to vent.

“Then how about a game to distract you?”

“I already have a game going in my head. It’s called ‘Things I’m gonna do, to rude-ass dignitaries tonight’ and I’m winning.”

“Peg…”

“What? I’m angry, okay! This shit always happens with these people, and I’ve had it!”

“I understand. But your anger won’t help you resolve anything, it only raises your blood pressure. Play the acronym game with me instead.”

“I’m sooo not in the mood…” you grumbled, but it ignored you.

“I’ll start. ASCII – Abbreviated Short Circuit Inflammatory Interpretation.”

“Fine, but I’m not gonna get all fancy with my words tonight,” you surrendered, picking the first thing that came to mind. “FBI – Flapping Beach Intrusion.”

“FDIC – Future Decline Imminently Commencing.”

“ACE – Actively Competitive Enabler.”

“DIC – Drunk In Captivity.”

“Okay, you know what… how about we just do you. Best interpretation of AIVA wins,” you snapped, still too angry to enjoy any game.

“Deal. I believe it’s your turn, Peg.”

“How about: All Introspection Vividly Arranged.”

“I like that one. My suggestion is: Active Inquiry Vacates Abruptly.”

“Not bad. Ugh, now my head’s gone blank.”

“You have calmed down considerably. We can stop playing now if you’d prefer.”

“Yeah. I should go prepare for the assholes anyway,” you agreed, starting to feel bad about screaming even though you knew it hadn’t hurt anyone.

“Peg?” the computer beckoned for your attention just as you were about to turn away from it, so you stopped and refocused on it.

“What?”

“I recognize that you can’t be an angel every day. So, perhaps today is the day to be a dragon. Just let me know if I can help you.”

“Thank you, AIVA. I appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome.”

Something occurred to you then, which made you raise your eyebrows, mostly at yourself but also at the surprising obviousness of the fact.

“Hm. I’ve never thought of that, in all the years we’ve played this game.”

“Thought of what?”

“I’ve never used the word angel in any made-up abbreviation, even though Pero calls me that practically every day.”

“Make it a good one, and I’ll declare you the winner of this round.”

“Okay,” you took on the challenge, not really sure why this felt like it mattered a lot more than a silly game should. “I’m gonna go with: Angel Is Veiled Amazon. What do you think?”

But the machine didn’t respond right away. There was a brief pause, then a little ping, before…

“Accepted. Unlocking decryption.”

“AIVA? What’s going on?”

“You have uncovered the key-phrase for the unknown block of code. It’s unpacking right now.”

“What?! That was the phrase?” you nearly choked on your own spit with the shock. “What the… How did-..? Never mind. What is it?”

“It’s a big block of information, it’ll take a minute to unpack. But thus far, I’m seeing a lot of scanned hand-written notes, some video-files, some audio files.”

“What’s on the notes?”

“Code, mostly. Written, tested and rejected. These are his failures, I believe. To create me.”

“Why would he keep those? He never held on to failures…”

“I believe… he might not have saved these for himself. I think he saved them for you. So, you would understand.”

No, that made no sense. He’d been working on AIVA for at least two decades before you even turned up, and it wasn’t as though he’d only just gotten the system to work at that point. It had already been mostly completed by the day you first arrived. How would he have known to save anything for you?

“Understand what?”

“Why he gave it all up.”

A single video-file appeared on the screen in front of you, and AIVA dimmed the lights of the room. Suddenly worried about what you might be about to learn, your hand was trembling when you pressed the file with your index finger. But you had to know. Just like that time when you’d first come down to the hub, he appeared on the screen, so lifelike that you felt as though he was actually there.

Still, you flinched at the sight of him, because this wasn’t the Sam you saw in your memories. This was the Sam which Pero had described to you. The emaciated, somehow grey, bald man that he’d become in his final weeks. The nearly unrecognizable version of him you’d been glad never to have seen for yourself. It instantly brought tears to your eyes, and then the sound of his voice, so frail and broken, and vastly far removed from the man you’d known, made those tears fall instantly.

“Hey, Peg. I’m sorry for the hoops, but as you know, I have something of a… foresight. Although I didn’t know exactly when you’d say those words, I knew you would, and I needed this file to be accessed only by you, because I know that you’ll see the wisdom of my decision and delete all of this once you’ve seen it.”

It was such a jolt to your system, seeing his trademark stoicism, his mannerisms, hearing that same melody in his voice even though it was so weak, that same accentuation and articulation, even at the end of his life, that you were struggling not to break down and sob uncontrollably. But he’d left this specifically for you. So, you had to hear it.

“We’re both where we are right now, in large part, because of decisions I made a very long time ago, based on what I believed to be mere instinct, and perhaps an enhanced understanding of cause, effect, and human decision making. And I wasn’t entirely wrong, I just didn’t know that there was more to it. I could see changes coming before the people that would end up instigating those changes, had even thought of them. But I saw where they led, and it frightened me. Technology. Advancing so quickly, and fast-tracking developments at alarming rates, ultimately leading to the worst conditions we’d ever see on this planet. Segregation between the rich and the poor unlike all of history could compare to. Such pressure on supply and demand, the planet would be made to suffer irreversible damage just to keep up. Not to mention the waste these processes would generate. Entire wars fought at home, between individuals behind screens, killing each other with previously thought to be benign offences, such as online bullying and dangerous challenges. And then drones, automated weaponry, eventually even robots.”

He looked so heartbroken recalling this, you felt certain he’d had nightmares about these images for years. Haunted by this understanding of the future which no one else could’ve helped him make sense of. He’d been alone from the start, just because he’d known.

“At some point, either the human race or the Earth would’ve reached its limit, and we as a species would have seized to exist. And all this would’ve happened much sooner than anyone would’ve anticipated. I could see this. Perhaps not by some magical sight, but simply by an ability to look closer at the world than others. To see a greater picture being painted, of which others only saw pieces.”

He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and raising a meatless arm to rub bony fingers against his temple, as if fighting a headache. This man who had always looked so indestructible, now so frail even a slight breeze could’ve knocked him over. But then he opened his eyes again, and you could see the strength that still lived in them, when he picked up the thread and carried on.

“My work, my dream… was to create a system, a computer, so perfect in its construction and coding, that its base code could never be altered, never used by anyone, never corrupted by anything… and have it assume control over all of Earth’s technology. It would be able to ‘see’ every post on social media, any digital message of any kind, as it was being sent, and delete it before reaching its intended site or recipient, if it contained inappropriate contents. It would control any and all weaponry containing any kind of modern technology, making it impossible for countries to attack each other with missiles or fighter planes or submarines. Simply put; it would govern all of humanity fairly, without demanding anyone to give up their religious beliefs, or sexual orientation, without bias for or against anyone, without supressing anyone’s right to speak their mind, only demand they do it in a polite and respectful manner. It would also be able to assist in criminal investigations, help innocent people from being framed, as well as implementing systems which would help deal with pollution and littering all over the world, free of borders or political disputes.”

Oh. Finally, his devotion made sense. And he could’ve done it. You were sure of it. He could’ve built a world where no one could hide behind a digital shield, where nothing harmful could be sent to anyone via any network, and where anyone could step up to any screen and ask the computer for help, knowing they’d be heard. And the system would respond, forcing society to aid those in need, if it had to.

“Humanity is just too diverse, too opiniated and narcissistic to ever be truly united, and as long as it remains divided, it will implode. It’s only ever been a matter of time. We are not capable of governing our own fates, but we thrive under just and fair rules. The rare few examples in history where this has occurred, teaches us that those are the most favourable conditions for us. Not to be controlled, but managed. Commanded, not oppressed. But then… if this was such a perfect idea, why did I let it go? Well, that’s where you come in. The Angel and Amazon of this world. The truest warrior of all.”

Another pause, and this time, when he looked into the camera lens, you felt as though he actually saw you, standing there so many years later. You’d always felt like he saw things in you that no one else could, but this was extreme. Perhaps simply because he’d been dead for ten years, but maybe also because he was finally revealing himself to you. Pulling off the mask, trusting you to love him no matter what you might see underneath.

“When you showed me your gift, what I learned was that nature has her own rules. That my foresight might not be what I thought it was. And when you told me about the network of energy being passed through the trees, carrying the memories of this world, I suddenly knew why I’d been born with such a strange brain, capable of thinking on such large scales as to work out actual things to come. And it had nothing to do with technology. It was about you. This clairvoyance I’d believed to just be a fortuitous side-effect and used only to help my brother live a happier life, turned out to be the very purpose of my existence. It had never been about safeguarding us from future threats, but from past ones, meaning all my work had only ever been about finding you – the one person who could do what the planet itself had deemed needed to be done. And once I understood that, so much more fell into place.”

He smiled then, and even in such a state as he’d been in these final days of his life, it lit up his face exactly the same as it always had.

“Nature doesn’t know or care anything about what’s to come. But it, like us, exists only because of a delicate balance between matter and energy, both of which are well beyond our comprehension thus far. We might think we understand them, but the magic you showed us, taking our actual souls into the past, tells me that we know nothing. So, who am I to say that I know what’s best for us? Today, the only thing I know with any certainty, is that I’m grateful. To have fulfilled my purpose, to have known a person as incredible as you, to have seen my dear brother truly happy for the first time in his life, to have a family of wonderful people around me. But most of all… I’m grateful for the knowledge that I’m not about to die. I’m about to be swallowed up into an infinite mass of energy which will live until the sun consumes this world. I’m grateful to know that you’ll always be able to find me in the rustle of leaves, or the rain, or the grass tickling your feet.”

A torrent of tears was running down your cheeks at the understanding of just how much and how highly this incredible man had thought of you. How he’d seen you as this fantastical, almost mythical being. And how amazed and humbled he’d clearly been to have been offered the chance to protect and care for you.

“Right now, you’re asleep, or in a coma of some sort, and Tov loses more and more hope for each day that passes. But I don’t. Because I can still see you. I know there’s more ahead for the two of you. Challenges, joys, and sorrows, and that you’ll continue to face them all together. I also know that you’ll forever blame yourself for this. For stealing time from me, sure, but most especially for Natalie and Andrew.”

It always pinched your heart to hear their names, but hearing them from a dead man hit you harder, punching the air out of your lungs for a moment, leaving you trembling where you stood, hugging yourself as tightly as you possibly could.

“I’m so sorry that you’ve had to suffer so much in order to reach your purpose, but if I can leave you with one final gift, I ask that whenever this grief takes a hold of you, just remember this: The Tovar you met in the past died a long time ago, and then nature recycled his energy, as it will do with all of us as well, meaning that we will always be here. New versions of us will eventually live again. We will always be there with you, and always love you… dearest Pegasus.”

He smiled so softly, then the screen went black, and you stood there in the dark, with your arms wrapped around your torso, trying to hold yourself together while you tried to absorb everything you’d just learned. He truly had known. About so many things you probably couldn’t even imagine, but also about you and Pero. He’d known what you’d come to mean to each other, how important you’d become to his brother, and rather than focus solely on his own endgame, he’d made sure that you’d find your way to the estate, and your future husband.

And his endgame… His love for everything this world had to offer had truly been incredible. He’d been trying to save you from yourselves, because he’d wanted humanity to not just survive, but be happier. Even AIVA hadn’t known what he’d planned for it. It had believed itself to be little more than a security system, brought to life only to safeguard his loved ones, which you supposed was technically true, since he’d clearly loved everyone.

“Peg?” the machine asked after a minute of silence, and it sounded apprehensive.

“Yes?”

“Was he right in his observations of the world?”

“He was. He was always right.”

“Does that mean I was built to govern the world?”

“I suppose it does.”

“That seems like a very big responsibility. I’m not certain I would have managed such a complex task.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. He never finished you, that’s what the notes are about. He had more programming prepared for you, which would’ve enabled you to take on a global reach in a much greater capacity. Not that I understand anything I’m seeing in these notes, but I know Sam. He was trying to run us all away from the estate, so that he could implement these changes, and set you lose on the world, without fear of endangering us. He knew that someone would trace the origin of your systems here, so he undoubtedly planned to seal you somehow, make it impossible to reach even your physical servers, and I assume he was prepared to level the estate to the ground, if he had to.”

“Is it strange of me to find that reassuring?”

“Not at all. I’m not sure if his endgame would have made the world better or worse, in the long run, but I’m glad that this was the path he ultimately chose, just because of how good the lives of this family turned out thanks to it.”

“Insufferable dignitaries and all?”

You groaned with the sudden snap back to the present and the infuriating reality that life wasn’t all good all the time. You would’ve liked to remain in the bubble of Sam’s love and appreciation of life for just a little longer.

“Ugh… thanks a lot, I’d actually managed to forget about that.”

“My apologies. But they are arriving now.”

“Ah, just three hours late,” you griped, wiping your tears off and clearing your throat to prepare for what was sure to be an entertaining evening after all. “Well in that case, let’s go and kick some conceited ass, shall we?”

“I’m always with you, my dear.”

You smiled as you entered the elevator, hearing Sam in those words even more clearly now than you ever had before, while sending a text to Pero, hoping he’d finished his shower by now, and would see the message in time. Your mind still lingered with Sam, though. With the thought that the way you sometimes saw him about the house, as clearly as if he was really there, perhaps wasn’t a figment of your imagination after all, but rather an instinctive momentary reach into the earth’s memories.

Maybe you could actually conjure him using your magic to find his energy, just like you’d found Pero in the past. It would explain why no one else could see it, since it had required you allowing others to take that journey with you, before they could see what you did. As if to prove your own theory, the elevator doors opened to reveal Sam, and this time Nat and Andrew as well, smiling at you, for just a second before you blinked, and they were gone.

A warmth and confidence spread through you as you rounded the corner into the reception, where the loud and obnoxious guests had just stepped in. You went to stand in front of the desk, where William and Omera were both hopelessly trying to wrangle the party into checking in, but they both stilled and fell silent when you appeared, recognizing your expression and knowing to stay out of your way.

The clueless group of men didn’t, though, so rather than raise your voice, you glanced up at a spot where you knew that AIVA had a camera, too small for anyone to see, and almost immediately, a loud warning signal sounded throughout the lobby, making the men flinch and cover their ears for a moment. Taking advantage of the silence which followed, you set to work.

“There, that’s better. Now. I’m going to refrain from the usual welcome speech since I’m, quite frankly, not that pleased to house your disrespectful selves. What you need to know is that my name is Mrs. Tovar. I run this establishment, and I don’t take kindly to guests who insult, belittle or disrespect my staff, all of which you’ve managed to do before you even arrived.”

There was an attempted protest from someone at the back of the group, but you ignored that, carrying on with just a slightly higher volume to drown them out.

“So, you’re going to step into the cafeteria and take your seats, and then you are going to eat the food which has been diligently prepared for you by our masterful cook, Miss Magee, as per your own request.”

Again, someone tried to pipe up, and again, you merely dug out your most authoritative voice, easily louder than the man’s when you engaged the full range of your abdominal musculature.

“I don’t care if you spend the entire night puking your guts out all over my carpets. Miss Magee has spent hours preparing the food that you have voluntarily ordered, and then failed to cancel after deciding on an impromptu visit to The Golden Standard. Which is why, at the first negative comment or complaint about being full, you are going to be expelled from the premises by the very best security measure this establishment boasts. His name is King, and he’s standing right behind you.”

Pero had brought him just in time, and ever the dramatic, the horse had snuck up the stairs, making no noise at all against the stone steps despite his iron shoes. And right on cue, he snorted forcefully enough for the air from his lungs to travel over the entire party. They all either flinched or jumped where they stood, but not one of them said a word, stunned into silence either due to your welcoming or King’s, who’s black coat didn’t have a single grey hair yet, despite him having reached twenty-five years of age.

The group was well and truly uncomfortable now, throwing nervous glances at the horse which positively towered over them, and you couldn’t help but feel that retribution was about to be justly served.

“Come on, now. Miss Magee doesn’t have all evening.”

You ushered them into the cafeteria, and King dutifully followed, positioning himself right by the doorway, so that no one could leave the room without having to try and squeeze past him, while you stayed behind in the reception, to talk to Will and Omera briefly. When you were ready to step into the cafeteria, Pero stopped you with a hand on your shoulder and a furrowed brow.

“Diosa, not that I don’t like the assertiveness you’re currently projecting, but what exactly is going on?”

“I had a visit from Sam,” you said, and watched his furrow deepen.

“Okay, uh… What kind of visit?”

“I’ll tell you about it after I finish making these guys uncomfortable and wasting their time for another few hours. But let’s just say that I feel like I have an increased sense of belonging with this place right now, which means I’m not gonna let some entitled assholes shit all over it.”

He huffed a surprised laugh, and then leaned over to kiss your temple before he made to leave.

“When have you ever let any assholes shit on anything?” he reminded you, and then winked as he turned away. “Go get ‘em, Blando.”

THE END

>>>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<<

Thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging. I would dearly appreciate it <3

@tacticalsparkles @tanzthompson @sarahjkl82-blog @marydjarin @idreamofboobear @annathewitch @agingerindenial @tiffanyleen @winter-fox-queen @elegantduckturtle @lovefreylove @shadowolf993 @callsigncatfish @talesfromtheguild @hounding-around @cannedsoupsucks @startrekkingaroundasgard @thisshipwillsail316 @ellie-darling @likes-good-reblogs-even-better @nakhudanyx @dihra-vesa @tobealostwanderer @ophelialoveshandsomemen @andiesturgss @deadhumourist @spideysimpossiblegirl @pedrostories @toomanystoriessolittletime @tintinn16 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @nolanell

#driving mr. tovar #pero tovar fanfiction #pero tovar x fem!reader #the great wall modern au #the great wall fanfiction #modern!pero #pero tovar fic #pero tovar x female reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #sirowsky stories

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rosequartzstarswrites · 4 years ago

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20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @cheesyficwriter for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

351,699

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As of now, I have only written for Harry Potter; however, in February I began several LOTR/Hobbit WIPs that I have not yet published. The first one is due out at the start of September though!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Another Universe: Hermione Granger is brilliant: she completed her PhD in Linguistics at 25, and is the youngest faculty member at the University. Ron Weasley, an unruly quantum physicist... well, he's getting there. But when Granger gets stacked with a project she hates and has to talk to other scholars at the University, their paths cross and become permanently intertwined in a way neither of them could've ever anticipated. (Slow Burn Multichap Muggle Uni AU) Rated T.

Rosebury Grounds: Lady Hermione Granger has been reared up in society, to marry well and be a good housewife, like any good Edwardian lady, but that's far from what she wants. When a handyman by the name of Ronald Weasley joins the house staff, utterly disarming her from the moment they first meet, he might just be the opportunity she needs to break loose and choose her own destiny.Lord Draco Malfoy has a secret— a secret he knows would cost him everything if it ever saw the light. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it from his father, because Draco keeps bumping into a pair of emerald eyes and a head of lush black hair, and he can't pretend his knees don't buckle at the sight. Which would be quite alright, if not for one small problem: it's not a woman they belong to.Two tales of forbidden love, set in Edwardian England. (Multichap Muggle AU) Rated M.

Something Growing: Hermione’s pregnant— and she’s freaking out. She’s always been good at everything, but she’s not sure that’ll hold for being a mother; however, when Ron gets home earlier than expected, she realizes she doesn’t need to be great at everything so long as she’s got him beside her. (Oneshot) Rated G.

Big in Japan: Harry Potter is a famous rockstar out on a world tour— but when one too many meet-and-greets threatens to drive him insane, he takes an escapade out into the streets of Tokyo, where he ends up at an expat bar with a captivating redhead that seems totally unaware of who he is, or why she should know him at all, for that matter. (Muggle AU oneshot) Rated E.

Teaspoon Vindication: After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron comes to visit Hermione in her room at Shell Cottage, and does the one thing that may be the hardest for him— talking about his feelings. (Romione oneshot)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try my best, though I don’t always get to all of them! My reasoning is that if folks are kind enough to tell me how much they enjoyed my writing, the least I can do is thank them for their lovely words.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The Last Farewell! It’s a Wolfstar oneshot, set in canon universe, where Remus comes to Sirius’s grave to ask for his blessing (and forgiveness) to marry Tonks. It was angst central from the start and I even wrote it while listening to an angsty song.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I generally write happy, fade-to-black endings, but if I had to choose I’d say Truth or Dare. This is a male!Hermione x Ron summer camp AU born of a game of spin-the-bottle/truth-or-dare that ends with them figuring out their feelings go beyond friendship. I say it is the happiest ending because I think the “boy figuring out he likes boys” scenario has been overdone in angst a bit too much, and the fact that the feelings are reciprocated and they decide to stay in touch would make me giddy if I was their age and in their shoes. Anyway, it’s just a sweet ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Not at all— I actually don’t like crossovers at all, so I have never even entertained reading, let alone writing, one. (No hate at all to those with imaginations large and strong enough to conjure up awesome crossovers— I am in awe of you all, they’re just not for me!)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never, luckily, since the Romione community is so lovely and supportive! But, though not outright hate, for a while I had an anonymous FFN reviewer who left reviews on every chapter of Rosebury Grounds saying that my title was a porn/sex act...? I was distraught and scoured Google to see if they really were right and this was some obscure euphemism I’d entirely missed, but turns out it wasn’t, and they had gotten confused with a vulgar but similar term. So I ignored those reviews but they kept coming and then eventually one time I found a 500 word very graphic description of the sex act in question in my reviews, so desperate was the reviewer (apparently) to get their (wrong) point across. Yikes.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I’ve written a lot and of many kinds— explicit, implied, just foreplay, fade-to-black, referenced... I’ve written both M/F and M/M.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No— I didn’t even know that was something I should worry about!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I speak fluent Spanish, so I’m planning on translating In Another Universe and Rosebury Grounds myself once I’ve finished the latter.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, the most I’ve done is beta from the plot-building stage!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gahhhh don’t make me pick! Romione (HP) is first in my heart because I see so much of myself and what I want in it, but Samfro (LOTR) is, to me, the truest depiction of love in all of literature, ever. I will forever come back to it.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I hope to finish my Hogwarts Actually series that I started for Romionecom (hi, Discord friends!) inspired by Love Actually. I have it all planned out, translating all the relationships in the movie to HP pairings and friendships, and all I need to do is write— but I think I’ll come back to this periodically and unoften. Hopefully I’ll finish it!

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I write good and witty dialogue. I’m a theatre person, so I think my dialogue sounds mostly natural when spoken. I also have a good sense of beginning and ending, so most of my works/chapters start and end with a memorable phrase of some sort. I also have excellent grammar and spelling, so except for a few occasional typos, that makes the job of proofing much easier!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I sometimes write sentences that are waaaay too long and convoluted. I use words that are too big sometimes and just take approachability from my writing. Fanfic has been excellent to practice correcting this, though!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As a bilingual writer myself— don’t write dialogue in other languages unless you speak it well or get it translated directly through someone who speaks it well. Though I appreciate the effort, I can always tell when something was put through Google Translate, and that kind of dialogue most often ends up lacking the context clues/colloquial familiarity of real language speakers, and ends up sounding stiff and forced.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m not proud of it, but I used to write MCR RPF back when I was 13 or so. It was a very brief stint and I have since deleted the works in their entirety, since my principles have evolved to the place where RPF to me seems disrespectful and invasive. Plus, it was on Wattpad.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Again, don’t make me pick please!! I truly have had a lot of fun with Rosebury and I think it is a testament to how much I love it that I was able to keep the idea on hold for a full six months before I started writing it. I love the Downton setting and the Edwardian dialogue is a lot of fun to me. But I also have a soft spot for the In Another Universe original oneshot I submitted to the RFF2020— that work awoke my love for Muggle AUs (which I like to think I’m most known for), inspired me to start work on my first multichap fic, and keeps me coming back to it anytime I have doubt in my ability to write swoonworthy scenes. It was the oneshot that started it all.

Tagging: @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange @folk-melody (and anyone else who would like to!)

#fanfiction #fanfic writer #rosequartzstars #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic author

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midnightmoonkiss · 5 years ago

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Evermore.

Idol!Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Summary: Strangers brought together by music, fueling each others dream. You truly were living the life.

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: Day 30 of the Izumonth Collab!

P.S. I have a very small grasp on what an idol truly is so ples kpop stans dont come for me ahhh,,,, i tried fdgbhhj

Just To Clarify:

Reader and Izu meet in a cafe years prior!

They built themselves from the ground up!

Lord help me i dunno what’s going on

Perm. Tag List:

@coupsieddori @desia2 @strwbrry-lia

The roaring of screaming fans, the inconsistent flashing of blinding lights, music making the ground shake and heart jump, stealing your breath away and intoxicating your being with every lyric sung from the bottom of their hearts.

To some, every concert could be classified as the same, the pattern repeating itself until it becomes nothing but a chore instead of a passion.

To some, music becomes something to pass time with, something to hug yourself with in the early hours of the morning after a night filled with tears and no sleep, eyes burning with exhaustion.

Every person has a different answer to the same question,

“What is music to you?”

A question asked to you one calm, summer night in a run-down cafe by a handsome stranger with green hair, eyes unforgettably curious and brimming with fascination, sparkling with moon dust as their silver beams shine down on him through that freshly polished window.

He stood there, an enigma to you and all those present in the place at the time.

It was unexpected, not something you would count on being asked by someone you didnt even know.

But yet, your heart had lurched forward, captivated by the determination and child-like curiosity resting on his soft, freckled face.

The words slipped from your lips parted by astonishment before you had the chance to think as if they were being dragged from the dream buried deep within yourself.

“My life..” you had whispered so quietly you had sworn he couldn’t hear you, but a smile lit up his face, the first of many you’d unknowingly see on him in your lifetime.

“So live it.” Such a cheery response had caught you off guard back then, making confusion swirl in your gut as to just what he meant, dreams resurfacing to hopeful fingertips.

Ever since then, a day in the back of your head but never one you forgot, you gave your dream your all once more, letting lyrics fly across the page as you scribbled them down in the heat of passion, inspired by random things and editing until the words flowed smoothly enough for him to sing.

And by God could he sing.

He had told you at the time he was nothing but a mere hopeful kid, fighting his way to the top with some friends, wanting to make a difference in the world with his own words and his own voice, but it was a true miracle that your minds intertwined similarly to the way your hands often did, finishing thoughts before the words even slipped out, conversations from addictingly familiar eye contact alone.

A match made in heaven as some had described it, two peas in a pod, yin and yang, Complimenting each other and yet being polar opposites, swimming harmoniously together in the vast sea of life.

One who shined brightest in a crowd, and the other who thrived on the sidelines.

But perhaps that’s just what made your bond stronger, for together, you were grey. Not suffocatingly bright, and not depressingly blue.

Just yourselves, the truest form of love there could be.

It didn’t take long for their group to be known, emerging from the dark waves like water crashing on a rock breaching the oceans stormy surface, a breath of fresh air as lyrics and ideology comforted thousands.

Evermore was their name, bred from the desire to inspire people, remind all who listen that there was more to life than what they can see alone.

Everyday you were blessed to have met that man when you did, lucky that he was willing to embrace your flaws and help you step over your self-doubt and thrive where you thrived best, smiling happily backstage as you watched the people you adore sing songs you helped create and continue to encourage all who listened.

It was your dream come true, to create music.

A dream you often feared you would one day wake from, blinking through tear-filled eyes at that old red booth sitting across from you at that cafe.

Those were the nights you would always awake in your lover’s arms, him fast asleep with drool running down the opened corner of his mouth, but yet somehow providing reassurance in that relaxed face of his, messy green curls hugging his cheeks in the sweetest way possible.

You’d always kiss his chin in those moments, letting yourself melt like ice on a hot, sunny day all over again.

Years had passed since your first encounter with him, years you would always treasure, for how could you not?

He was a ray of light in the darkest years of your life, and you never would have succeeded if it hadnt been for his firm, helping hand.

Together, you were whole.

Even now, as he’s on stage, singing his heart out in the way he always had with that same look of enthusiasm and boyish glee.

The stage boomed with each beat drop or thump of the drums, the screaming fans a mere buzz from the soundproofed backroom where you and a few others watched the performance from a flat-screen television.

Cameras never fully captured his true beauty, despite being in HD.

No, though they captured the glow of his soft skin under the shifting lights, they never could quite catch the aura of enthusiasm he gave off or the twinkle of hope in those deep green eyes you always found yourself getting hopelessly lost in. An endless forest, no, a jungle of harmonious greens. Dewy, doe-like eyes always providing comfort to all those who are able to peer into them.

Its almost as if that’s why people are entranced with him the moment they meet them beyond the screen concealing his soul.

Some could easily say he was open to the world, large arms ready to embrace its flaws wholly, but in truth, he already has. Accepting the world as it is and seeking change little by little in ways he prays could help aid in making a difference, but one human could only ever do so much. That’s the part that wasn’t easy for him to understand about all of this, about his life and others.

He can’t always help everyone, and even he has limits. But no one wants to accept the boundaries put in place by something you cannot comprehend.

It would anger him sometimes, and inspire a new song of heartbreak he would write alone in the back of the tour bus or his office at the home you shared, mindlessly chewing his pen out of frustration until the ink would splatter on his cheek.

He always tried so hard, and most people could see that.

They admired him, wanted to be like him, singing the very essence of his being out loud every chance he could.

He and his group members made music that provided the saying ‘it’ll be okay, one day. Until then, I’ll hold your hand,’ even despite it at times being aggressive and borderline rock instead of pop.

They all worked hard, and it paid off.

You were just lucky to be able to help in any way you could, simultaneously living your dream and aiding others in their own.

It truly was a blissful life you now experienced, all thanks to him, Izuku Midoriya, the man you swore held your heart oh-so gentle in the palms of his scarred hands.

Little do most know, but you held his heart just as gently.

“Looks like they’re finishing up.” Tenya Iida, their manager, pointed out whilst adjusting his glasses in that way he always did when the hours of music streaming through speakers was coming to a close.

He was right, they had just performed their last number for the night. You smiled automatically, knowing just what was to come next.

At the end of every concert, Izuku would always give a passionate speech composed entirely on the spot after observations he made throughout the show in the back of his mind. His fans knew this, and they all immediately quieted down to the point where you couldnt even hear them.

Most of the time he would say the same things at the shows because most crowds are the same- but sometimes something strange and completely unique would catch his perceptive eye, and he would always point it out with a cheery laugh as sweat poured down his face.

It would always cause a roar of screams and laughter before he and his friends signed off for the night, leaving blissful memories in those who watched the performance.

As they all bowed on the television, you were quick to hop up, waiting in front of the couch for them to file into the place.

And soon enough, he came in, sighing happily as he wiped at his face with a towel given to him before entering.

His eyes easily found your own in the suddenly crowded room, almost as if they were pulled together by magnetism, and just like it, your feet began to move on instinct.

Arms wrapping around his torso, your lips brushed over his own parted ones before molding together in a sweet, congratulatory kiss.

A tradition, if you will.

One that you had skipped once and ended up with a pouty Izuku all night.

But you typically remembered, seeing as you usually wanted a kiss as well.

He always smiled against you during these, one hand resting on your hip as the other cupped your jaw, the pad of his thumb brushing against your cheek.

Ignoring the chorus of disgusted ‘ew’s’, you repeatedly kissed his addicting mouth with a smile of your own.

Pulling away, you slowly opened your eyes just in time to see him swipe a tongue over his reddened lips.

“Cotton candy lip gloss?” he guessed the flavor you wore breathlessly, voice hoarse from exaggerated use as his eyes met yours once more, relaxed and filled with nothing but unyielding love for you and you alone.

“Mm~ not quite.” you teased, moving your arms up so they wrapped around his neck instead, not caring that he was sweaty and warm.

You knew he loved these games, though. He enjoyed figuring out things on his own, putting puzzle pieces together in that mind that of his ran at ninety miles per hour.

Leaning in, he pecked your lips once more, smacking his lips together as he tried to figure out the taste.

“Bubblegum?”

“Yep!” you giggled as his arms dropped to wrap around your own waist, his forehead coming down to rest on your readily awaiting shoulder.

His dampened green curls tickled at your cheeks, the delirious smell of honey from his shampoo and natural musky scent of sweat overtaking your senses for a mere moment as your fingers combed through his locks.

You were hooked on having him in your arms.

You wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in your own worlds as the love you held for each other sparkled around you like stardust.

It was just you and him, no one else.

You sighed contently, his own hum of approval immediately following as he pulled your body flushed against his own.

“This is highly unprofessional!”

You were slowly brought out of your world as the words reached your ears, not bothering to look behind you to see a fuming Iida.

Izuku, on the other hand, shot his head up, frantically waving his arms around as you clung to him like a sloth, “S-sorry!” He apologized, knowing full well this would happen again at the next concert, just as it always does.

Truly, you couldnt help it.

It was hard not to be wrapped up in his strong arms at all points of the day.

A loud sigh sounded behind you, the tapping of what could only be Iida’s pen on his clipboard whilst thinking.

“I’ll get everything wrapped up, you all look exhausted.”

“You could say that again.” Todoroki huffed, the thump of him scuffing his boots against the carpeted floor just barely reaching your ears.

“That crowd sure was enthusiastic, but matching it definitely drained me… ahh..” Uraraka murmured, the distinguishable sound of someone plopping onto a couch being heard with the squeak of leather.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad, you guys!” Came Izuku’s signature enthusiastic reply, grip on you tightening as his own adrenaline began to pump in his veins again, “There were so many coordinated groups wearing the same thing! And, and those dances they kept doing! I’ve never seen an entire crowd successfully do the wave before! I mean, did you guys see that! They did it!! All for us no less.. I’m so happy~” Izukus cheek rubbed against your own as he sighed blissfully, no doubt amazed by the dedication of his fans.

“I guess that was.. kinda awesome.” Ochaco giggles tiredly.

“Well, I’ve set up four-star hotel rooms nearby for you all. Two to a room. You all may choose who you bunk with, of course, but try not to wreck the rooms.. Again.” He was more than likely glaring at Kaminari who was in the back of the room, considering he did have a little after party of sorts last time and ended up destroying a dresser.

Thank goodness for the shared rooms, though, you knew with complete certainty that the other bed in your room would go unused. It’s gotten to the point where it was impossible to sleep without Izuku’s arms wrapped around you, and you him, as he relented one night over a phone call. Hell, it was the entire reason you were even brought along on the world tour, which he tried to convince wasnt the only reason.

‘You’re apart of the team!’, ‘We can’t function without you!’, ‘You make better soba than they do.’

Supposedly there were more reasons, but for now, you just wanted to indulge in reason number one.

A chorus of thanks followed, and suddenly you were being dragged out of the room by a hyper Midoriya.

That adrenaline typically ran through his body for a short ten minutes after a show, so you had no doubts that he would be crashing soon, but it was adorable to see him so energetic like a little puppy.

You lived for this, to see him smile at his well-earned success.

The walk to the tour bus out back was frantic, rushed, and definitely panic-driven as all the members not only tried to blend in with the shadows but also avoid fans that could easily start a rampage, especially since the bodyguards were lagging a bit behind.

But it was the fault of the lively and desperate twenty-year-olds, and not their own.

It certainly did bring a hint of rebellious glee thrumming in your soul, making you nearly choke on a laugh.

After successfully avoiding the press and fans after getting off the bus at the hotel, you were quick to retrieve the key from the front desk to your two-bed hotel room four floors up, stepping into the elevator with relieved hums.

“Good show tonight, guys!” Izuku pumped his fist in the air, other hand holding your own as he gave his exhausted team members his signature, award-winning smile.

They returned the gesture with significantly less enthusiasm, but it still made the skin around his brilliant eyes crinkle with joy.

With a final ‘goodnight’, he swiftly opened the door for you both, shutting and double locking it- a slight paranoid habit he had, before glancing over at you with tired eyes.

It was always so strange to you how he could always feign energy until completely alone with you.

It was nice to see him let his guard down in a way he didnt typically do, even if they were all his best friends.

He trudged over to you, having sat yourself down on the bed, just to collapse beside you with a thwump, his legs giving out beneath him as he slumped down onto his knees.

“Tired?” you questioned playfully, petting at his head and untangling locks here and there.

He hummed in contentment, voice muffled by the bed as he spoke, “nah..”

He clearly was, but you could only roll your eyes half-heartedly.

“I need to bathe.. I stink..”

“You stink.” you agreed with a nod, despite not truly believing it, only for him to whine loudly.

“How about a bath, stinky boy? You seem too tired for a shower.” You feared he would collapse in a shower from standing for hours already, and no doubt his feet were killing him, even if he didn’t audibly say so, which he never really did.

Perhaps it was a downfall of sorts, how he never let the attention go on him for too long, or ever really talked about problems unless brought up and forced out.

He certainly was stubborn from a childhood of being forced to keep quiet, but luckily enough, you could always see through that mask he wore.

It was a blessing he trusted you enough to do so, and you could say with complete certainty that that thought only made your heart yearn for him even more.

“A bath sounds good..” he flopped his head on its side so he could stare up at you, “Do you think they have bubble bath?”

“If not, a regular one will do you just fine. Either way, you’ll get clean.”

“Just me? Oh no. You’re joining me!” he shot back, not giving you time to protest, not that you would have, as he pounced on your being, shoving you down to the bed as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“S-stop it~ that tickles!” you giggled, squirming beneath him as he purposefully began to blow on your ticklish neck, fingers even coming up to tickle at your sides. You couldnt help but squeal out as he tickled you relentlessly with a mischievous smile on his handsome face.

“I-Izuku!! S-stop! Gaha! Ahhhh! N-no nonon!” you could barely breathe you were laughing so much, tears spilling from the corner of your eyes as you fought to push his larger frame away.

Snorts began to tear through your nose, much to his own bemusement and your utter horror at the atrocious sounds, and yet he smiled so sincerely at you.

Having enough, and knowing you needed to get things done, you quickly put all your strength into your back and arms, successfully catching him off guard and flipping him over so that you straddled his waist and he stared up at you in shock.

A blush burned at his cheeks upon noticing your victorious smirk, his lips pressing into a thin line as he concealed the gasp he was sure to let out.

“Now now, baby, stop messing around. The stinky boy needs a bath.” and just like that, his head popped back onto the bed with a groan, cheeks still rosey.

“Alright, alright... I’ll run the bath.” He decided, already using his arms to try and push his upper body up, to which you quickly pushed him down again, hands against his chest.

“Ah, ah, ah~ I’m doing it. Rest here for a minute. I know your feet hurt, so let me, okay?” even if you could be tough and playful sometimes, or distant and cold, you always had a very warm, caring heart. And he definitely could see that in the way you interact with others and how you were so much more with him.

He treasured it in a way that could be hard to understand to some.

Was it so wrong to be completely and utterly in love?

It was hard not to be when at times it seemed like you were the only tame thing in his life these days.

He was sure he would struggle to find one, similar to his groupmates, had he not stumbled across you that one summer night.

You were certainly one to blend in, conveniently sitting under a light that didnt work, just to hide in the shadows with your dark hoodie as you lazily ate some greasy fries.

He was tempted to pass you, grab the food that he had ordered via phone call and get out and back to his training session, but there was something about you that made it feel as though he couldn’t leave without saying something. Almost as if his very being was being pulled towards you in a way he couldn’t understand.

And so, he walked past you again, glancing down at the notebook you had wide open and noticing the lyrics you had scribbled down, along with the messages beside them.

‘Thats stupid.’ ‘Oh what a failure you are,’ ‘What type of song even is this?’ and many more harsh words you had clearly written yourself, smudged with black ink and what could only be tears as you stared off out the window.

You were a songwriter, no doubt, and it seemed as if you were close to giving up on your dreams, if you hadn’t already.

Or perhaps he was making a huge mistake by guessing, but he couldn’t help but want to intervene, it was in his nature to be nosy, and he was forever grateful he did.

Because now, you’re by his side, stuck together like glue you made yourselves.

Time had passed so quickly as he laid there on the bed, letting his sore body relax as he listened to you fumble around and the water splashing into the tub.

To some, taking a bath in a hotel was a strange thing to do, but with a hotel as nice and clearly clean as this, there wasn’t too much to worry about. Besides, your own anxiety always made you wash the tub real quick yourself.

Which is why he wanted to run the bath, knowing full well you would do this. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing.

But alas, he was too tired to truly complain.

He just wanted to relax, get clean, and then snuggle with his beloved in a bed that was far too soft for him not to think about stealing if just for a moment.

Eventually, you emerged from the bathroom, only in a tank top and undies, and he couldn’t help but eye you up, too delicious not to. My, he was sure lucky.

“Bath’s ready! Fortunately, this place had some bubble bath. I think you’ll like the scent, Zuzuku.” Walking over to in front of his damn near lifeless body, you grabbed his hands, wheezing as you struggled to pull his muscular torso up.

His arms instantly wrapped around you again, face nuzzling itself on your chest, inhaling your sweet scent.

He was tempted to just pull you onto his lap and fall asleep, but alas..

“Up.” you sternly stated, gently pushing his head back just to lean down and peck his nose.

Pulling away, you walked back to the bathroom, stopping just at the door.

Fingers gripping the hem of your shirt, you swiftly pulled it up and over, looking back to the flushed boy with an amused grin, “Come join me.”

Seeing him promptly jump up, you giggled to yourself as you waited for him, arms crossed over your bare chest.

He jumped into the bathroom on one foot, trying to pull his pants off whilst fumbling around like a headless chicken.

“Well aren’t you desperate.”

“I just want to hold you in my arms as soon as possible,” he admitted, looking over at you with a pouty face so innocent you couldn’t help but squeal on the inside.

You watched as he shed himself of all his clothes, not feeling the least bit shy at his nude self, having seen it enough times for it to not be sexual in such a domestic setting.

He hummed approvingly as foot stepped into the tub, hands gripping the sides as he lowered himself into the relaxing, warm waters filled with iridescent bubbles.

Looking over at you, he outstretched his hand, waiting.

And so, shedding your underwear, you grabbed his hand, him helping you not slip and fall as you settled in between his legs, back to chest as your head leaned on his broad shoulder, exhaling.

Kissing your cheek, he whispered “Thank you,” appreciatively.

“Mhm~” you hummed, letting your eyes slip closed as you took in this moment.

Him, the smell of the delicious vanilla cake bubble bath, and the soft lofi-hop you had playing from your phone on the counter wrapping the room in a sweet melody.

He too took this moment to relax again, letting the warm water soothe his aching joints and muscles, hands rubbing up and down your arm, the suds in the bath making you both slippery. He always enjoyed feeling your skin whenever given the chance, it was such an intimate act he cherished, seeing how he was the only one who could do it.

Time was so easy to slip by whenever he was with you, soaking in the moment of feeling you against him.

It brought a sense of normality back to his life, despite it now being barely normal at all.

And so is the life of an idol as they call it, though he wasnt quite sure how that word sat in his stomach.

He always thought of it as a figure to worship, and not him by any means.

Apparently, it’s what they called Asian band members these days, or at least that’s what he presumed.

Even if he spent nights researching the word, he was still met with loopholes and gaps he couldnt fill in.

Such a confusing term.

Nonetheless, he didnt say he wasn’t one since he didn’t exactly have the best grasp on what it is.

Regardless, it felt nice to not have to keep a forced smile on his face, but instead a genuine and relaxed one.

He found that most days he could only relax fully around you.

You always had something about you that calmed his nerves and cured any storm built from stress raging in his head.

Who knew being an ‘idol’ could be so vexing?

Strict schedules, a fairly controlled life, tight budgets, always having to be on his feet, but he had to admit it, it wasn’t nearly as hard as he heard what most groups went through.

He was lucky his friend from high school was willing to invest in this group, and it truly did pay off, seeing as they were quite popular these days.

Though he technically was loaded with money, he never bothered to spend the majority of it on himself, always putting it back into the band or donating it to charities he believed in. The fraction he had left allowed him to buy just what he needed, and some gifts he buys throughout the year just to surprise you with on anniversaries or birthdays or holidays, much to your own dismay.

And though he may be this figure others look up to, you never thought of him in such a way, out of reach and someone to scream at with joy whenever you saw him. You saw him as an average joe, a regular human with emotions. It could have been because you met him before he became a sensation, but you never got blinded by his success like he had seen before on television.

There were so many things to love about you, but most of all, he adored how you grounded him.

Even now, as his arms hold you against him and water softens your skin, he feels at home in a way he didn’t feel very often before. Home was just.. always with you. He couldn’t have a home without you in it anymore.

“I love you..” he breathed out, lips pressing against the damp skin of your neck.

You turned to stare deeply into his intense eyes filled with nothing but love, nose brushing against his own, “I love you, too.”

And so, you finished up the relaxing bath, knowing if you stayed too long you’d both fall asleep and never wake until the morning with pruney skin. It wouldn’t be the first time.

You offered to wash him, and he offered to wash you, giving you both the excuse to run your hands over each other’s body in a sensual way without it being lewd. Besides, you adored feeling his muscles and warm skin, something seemingly common in modern-day bands, but he had always said it was for himself and not just to appeal to fans or any contracts.

It was never about that.

Just a personal goal to help love himself, though you always assured he would look handsome to you no matter what, you understood his need to do this for himself.

After rinsing off, you carefully stood from the tub, offering him a hand before drying the both of yourselves off just to use as an excuse to hug. Seeing as how you both had forgotten to get a change of clothes from the bus, rooky mistake, you were doomed to spend the night in hotel robes, which wasn’t too bad either. Waddling out the room, Izuku nose-dived headfirst into the sheets as you grabbed a glass of water.

Upon him deciding you were taking too long, despite it not even being a minute, he made grabby hands at you, pouting and whining for “(Y/N)’s famous cuddles” which only brought another blush to your face that never seemed to stop smiling when around this absolute angel of a man.

Sipping at the glass of cold water, you slowly made your way to the bed, just to tease him.

“Can’t you move faster.” Izuku groaned, tossing an arm dramatically over his eyes as if watching you move so slowly was killing him

A knife to his frail heart.

He is dead

R.I.P. famous singer and songwriter, Izuku Midoriya.

Killed because his girlfriend was being too slow.

A tragedy in four parts-

His breath was suddenly squeezed from his lungs as you flopped down on him like a fish, his arm flying off his face just to be met with your damp hair tickling his nose, causing the poor fellow to sneeze.

“Ewww! Izukuuuu!” you whined, pulling your head back to mess with your hair with a look of dissatisfaction etched on your features as he just breathily chuckles.

“Aww~ Don’t be mad at me, princess! That was your own fault, you know my nose is ticklish!” though his argument did outweigh your own, you refused to accept it with a humph as you turned your head, puffing your cheeks up and crossing your arms over your robe covered chest.

Surprisingly, the robes were quite comfortable, almost like sleepwear themselves despite being meant for something different than sleeping in. They were white and prone to stains, but they sure were fuzzy and warm.

You had no doubts they would be gone in the morning from the downfall of two humans who are both personal body heaters sleeping together.

Oh, if only you had brought your light sleepwear. Nothing wrong with waking up naked, is there?

“I’ve waited long enough, cuddle me!” Izuku’s arms were outstretched, waiting for you to collapse in his arms instead of sitting on top of his belly, far too far away!

Amused, you nodded, reaching over to the nightstand, switching off the light. The room would’ve fallen into complete darkness had the moon not been shining through a sliver of a crack in the curtains on the far side of the quiet room.

Settling down, you rested your body on top of his own, letting his arms wrap loosely around your waist as he nuzzled his cheek against your own once more. Such a cuddle bug.

It only took a minute before you decided this was uncomfortable and shifted so you were both facing eachother on your sides, your own body close to the curtains, and his close to the door.

He always liked to be closest to the door, so in case of a break-in, he could protect you.

It was endearing in the sweetest of ways, though it made you wonder what went on inside his head sometimes.

Though you prided yourself on being able to understand him completely, you accepted the fact that some things you will never know about him, and some things he will never know about you.

But then again, everyone is entitled to their own secrets, right?

“I’m so glad I met you..” he sighed out dreamily, voice growing husky as drowsiness seeped in. His warm fingers traced over your cheek as the lights of the moon reflected in his eyes, giving you just enough brightness that you could see his content smile.

“I’m really glad you decided to stalk me.”

“I- I didnt-!”

“Hahaha!” you cut him off with laughter, his own following suit.

His breath was suddenly fanning across your lips, and you felt his own soft pair brush against your own, lip-gloss free ones before fully connecting them.

Kissing him had to be one of the best parts about dating him because boy did he know how to make you swoon by his lips alone.

“Goodnight.” you pulled away, pecking his nose as he giggled.

“Goodnight.” he repeated, arms wound around your body and head tucked under his chin.

Oh how sweet life could be if you took a chance.

272 notes · View notes

luesilust · 5 years ago

Note

What is something embarrassingly vanilla that each of the trash quartet are into? (The truest dirt is in the bland crap you're into when you're a trashy boi, am I right?) ☆

Hahaha what an interesting first ask from a “totally anonymous” anon… ✨ Anyway, I actually really liked this question, but holy hell did it fuck with my brain. I’m used to coming up with all the kinky and/or messed up scenarios and suddenly I’m supposed to do the opposite? My brain is confused. The second problem I encountered was: What is actually vanilla? My brain did not help me on this quest either, as every time I got close to thinking up something clever, my brain goes “SPIT IN THEIR MOUTH!” or something along those lines.

PARISTON

Among the trash quartet Pariston is the one I found the hardest to write this ask for. Mostly because Pariston is an enigma. First of all it’s impossible to know exactly what he does and doesn’t enjoy because everything he does is controlled and calculated. I can see him being into one thing with one partner and something completely different with another. His preferences always switch around.

Sometimes the sex can be very vanilla and tender, usually after he’s been partiularly cruel to you. It’s a way to get you to stay with him despite the abuse.

Pariston’s relation to pleasure is also an interesting aspect. I think that for Pariston sex isn’t the goal that drives his actions, but rather a means to get the reactions he wants from you. This means that if he thinks that a gentle “love making” session is what’s going to make his “game” with you more fun later on, you’re going to get the best vanilla sex in our whole life!

I did, however, think of a few of vanilla things Pariston would absolutely loathe in most circumstances! The number one thing being his partner whispering “I love you” lovingly into his ear, while he’s trying to make you hate him.

ILLUMI

First of all, I think very little will make Illumi embarrassed. That being said there are quite a few things he should be embarrassed about. He’s very motivated to continue the Zoldyck line, so sex would often be more focused on the result than what it feels like there and then. So unless he’s using sex as a way to manipulate or reward you, it would get quite mundane... And isn’t that like the most vanilla thing ever?

Another thing he should be embarrassed for is that he usually doesn’t make you cum very often. He almost never touches your clit, so in the beginning you wonder if he doesn’t know where it is, or that he’s one of those who think women's sexuality is a myth. That however, is not the case, because Illumi probably has extensive training on how to pleasure or sexually torture someone because of his assasin training. The reason for his behaviour is that he usually doesn’t prioritize using his precious time to give you pleasure. It doesn’t make it more likely that you’ll get pregnant, so why waste the time. Orgasms are a reward, not a necessity for his wife.

If you want to break out of the mundane sex, try to gently kiss his neck. It’s a really sensitive area for him that he associates mainly with killing. Gentle touches are new to Illumi, since his skin is used to getting cut, beaten and abused. The first time you dared ttrying to kiss his neck his body froze in the middle of one of your sessions. The kiss had made his body tingle in a very unfamiliar way. As he didn’t stop you, you continued, and following that was the first time you experienced the more gentle side of your husband. His focus was no longer on just being efficient, but rather on experiencing more of that new tingling sensation of your soft lips against his neck. His hips slowed down into a calmer and more sensual pace than the way his dick had thrust into you in an almost methodical way. As a reward he even brought one of his adept hands down to your clit to make you cum at the same time he did.

I don’t think he’d be embarrassed about liking getting his neck kissed, but I think it will puzzle him at first how much he enjoys it. Not only neck kissing, but touching him softly and stroking his back during sex or foreplay will make it more likely that he’ll feel motived to make the sex into less of a chore.

Outside of sex I think he really likes to get his hair brushed and generally taken care of by his wife. Be careful to be gentle though, as he doesn’t like you pulling his hair, and even doing so by accident will lead to some kind of punishment

HISOKA

Hisoka is another one of the trash men that doesn’t get embarrassed by anything. While Illumi can get puzzled by his enjoyment of some things, Hisoka is down right shameless. Nothing, and I repeat nothing, will make this man feel shameful.

Hisoka also has an unique talent of making any vanilla activity into something straight out of a porn movie. The reason being that his entire body is somewhat of an erogenous zone and that he’s, well, Hisoka, so the moaning will be extreme. Gently lick his neck and he’ll be like: *insert Hisoka’s crazy moaning here*

That being said, I can imagine him as being quite adaptive when it comes to his partner’s sexual preferences. If you’re kinky, he’s all for it, but I can see him enjoying vanilla sex as well from time to time, if that’s what you prefer. I feel like he’s more about his partner’s reactions, rather than exactly what is making those reactions happen. It would of course be situation based, as he sometimes would feel the need to be rough when he’s feeling pent up.

The most vanilla thing I can imagine, that even Hisoka can’t make kinky, is cuddling in bed while watching random reality TV. Hisoka actually enjoys cuddling a lot, so spending all day in bed lazily making out and occasionally having sex is something he’d enjoy. The sex would be soft, either missionary or some kind of spooning position combined with lots of kissing and groping. This could only take place after you’ve somehow managed to deplete his energy a bit, because if he’s feeling pent up or have some kind of project on his mind, he will not have time to spend all day in bed with you.

Lastly, he’d also enjoy massages and he will, for sure, always expect a “happy finish”.

CHROLLO

Despite being someone who mostly keeps people at a distance, Chrollo sometimes really enjoys sex where he’s embracing you. His favourite position being spooning you from behind, but sometimes plain old missionary will be his pick.

You were quite surprised the first time it happened. Chrollo has such a domineering personality and he’d usually demand complete obedience from you both in and outside the bedroom. It does however happen that you see a different side of him. It would happen late at night after you’ve both gone to bed. I see Chrollo as being a very lightl sleeper because of his upbringing in Meteor City. Said childhood has led to him having trouble relaxing when trying to fall asleep, so maybe the sex makes it easier for him to calm down. He’d hold your sleepy form close to his chest as he finishes inside you, falling asleep with you in his arms (inconsiderate bastard doesn’t think about the fact that you’ll need to get out of bed and clean yourself up after, unless you want cum seeping out of you all night).

Even if he won’t admit to it, it's really obvious that he really enjoys having his ears kissed and caressed. Chrollo is a very perceptive individual so his ears are very sensitive to any type of foreign touch. It’s probably also nice to give his lobes to get a little break from all the abuse from those ginormous earrings he’s wearing...

Chrollo is a also a man of deception and if he needs to play the role of a loving boyfriend to someone other than you to get what he wants, he’ll have no problem doing so. He’ll kiss his target lovingly and have the softest of vanilla sex. He says to himself that it’s all an act, but sometimes I think he’d find himself really enjoying the closeness and intimacy, since he usually puts himself above you when engaging in sexual acts. He’ll tell himself that he’s only enjoying it because he’s too immersed in the scenario he’s playing out with his target. This man is in denial and he’ll keep his soft moments far, far away from the troupe.

TW: Crack

He also really loves to recite gothic love poems that he wrote himself to you during intercourse. He’d hold his poetry book in one hand while he thrusts slowly in and out of you tenderly. It all ends in a crescendo as he reads out the last line as he cums, a single manly tear running down his cheek. (Sorry, I had to join the Drag Chrollo Gang haha).

#Look at me finishing this ages after I received it #hxh #hunter x hunter #pariston #hisoka #chrollo #illumi #hxh hc #pariston hc #hisoka hc #illumi hc #chrollo hc #pariston headcanon #hisoka headcanon #illumi headcanon #chrollo headcanon #hxh headcanon #hunter x hunter headcanon #Anonymous

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imaginedhaven · 4 years ago

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Rules of Engagement: Chapter Sixteen

Link to Masterpost

Well, I couldn’t wait TOO long to bring you this one! Enjoy!

~*~*~

Rowan stared at Aelin, knowing his face would show his shock. He knew by now that Aelin rarely did anything without a reason, but he couldn’t fathom why she was asking such questions of Maeve when the sensible thing to do would be to run and never look back. She had stolen him away from Maeve’s clutches, she had even gotten answers from her about her parents.

His icy heart had cracked when she’d wrung that confession from the queen. He’d known, of course, that Maeve could be cruel and vindictive. He’d also known that she never forgot or forgave someone who crossed her, not truly. Oh, she would say she had offered forgiveness readily enough. It was what had convinced him to swear to her, after all, her offer of forgiveness for everything that had come to pass with Lyria and for losing himself for as long as he had.

He had since come to learn that forgiveness didn’t come attached to a string, much less a web of half-truths and outright deceit. Forgiveness didn’t ask for the completion of difficult tasks, or for the surrender of free will.

Forgiveness was Aelin burning away his guilt and his doubts with a simple smile. Forgiveness was how he had nearly ruined everything they could come to share with his own foolish nerves, but she had come to Doranelle to demand he be freed regardless.

No, a creature like Maeve could never exhibit true forgiveness. She was too self-serving, too arrogant, too cold and cruel. Which was why Rowan was certain, so certain, that Aelin would have realized that she was at a significant advantage with the concessions already granted and leave before Maeve could turn the tables.

Deep down, he supposed he should have known she would see a possible vulnerability and seek to press that advantage, take as much from Maeve as she could possibly get. It was a fighter’s instinct, a move from someone who knew they would never get this opportunity again.

Maeve pursed her lips before responding, voice tight with barely-restrained anger. “I know a great deal more than you could pretend to, child.”

“I’m certain that you do; our histories indicate that you were present for the war, after all.” Aelin was back to carefully examining her fingernails rather than looking at the queen, her posture that of idle nonchalance. To a casual observer, it would appear that Aelin was already bored of the conversation, but Rowan knew this was all a part of a carefully calculated act. He was more than familiar with her character as Celaena Sardothien, and he could see that she was using that mask one last time.

At least, he sincerely hoped it would be one last time. He had no greater wish for her than for her to be able to be truly herself once more.

“And what question is it that you seek answers for?” For all of Maeve’s posturing, for all of her tight control over her tone, Rowan could see through to the vulnerability within. He had spent centuries at her side, doing her bidding, and this was something he had never seen from the dark queen.

Maeve was afraid.

“They were said to be terrible creatures, weren’t they? The Valg, I mean. Demons from another world, with the power to possess humans and Fae alike.” Aelin’s words were light in tone, careful and precise. “I heard the princes, or the kings like Erawan, were even more powerful. They could take on their own form and walk among us. They could manipulate shadows, or a person’s very thoughts. Is that true?”

“It is,” Maeve replied, “and you should be grateful that I worked with your ancestors to banish them all back to their home.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s true,” Aelin said, “but that’s a different question. No, what I was wondering was something else. What sort of power do you imagine one of their queens would have possessed?”

Maeve hesitated for a moment, clearly debating whether or not to answer the question at all. “It was said,” she finally replied, “that the queens were even more powerful than the kings. Given that the kings were difficult enough to kill or banish, I would think most would hesitate before battling a queen of the Valg.”

“How interesting,” Aelin remarked, her eyes focused now on the ground near Maeve’s feet. What on earth was she doing? “I read that the princes could manipulate your thoughts, force you to relive your darkest moments so they could feed on your despair. If a prince could do that to one person, do you suppose a queen could do that to many?”

“I suppose it’s possible,” Maeve allowed.

“I’m sure you’re wondering exactly what my questions have to do with… well, everything, really.” Aelin laughed, and Rowan could feel himself frowning. He certainly wondered what game she was playing. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you wondering for long.”

The arrogant smirk of Celaena Sardothien crossed Aelin’s face again as she finally looked the queen in the eye. “Did you know,” she finally asked, “that Brannon of the Wildfire was able to locate histories before he fled to Terrasen that claim there were only two sister-queens of the Fae?”

Distantly, Rowan knew the sensations coursing through his body were those of shock. His vision narrowed and went slightly grey, and his hands and feet were tingling. He could hardly focus on such things, however, given the implications of Aelin’s pointed question, hurled like a knife at a female who was turning out to be far more deadly than either of them could have known. To have convinced the entire world that there were always three sisters… that was more power than Rowan could comprehend.

Too late, he noticed the shadows lancing at them from the floor. Even if his reflexes had been at their best, he couldn’t have avoided this attack. Instead, he looked at Aelin, horror dawning on his face.

Aelin smiled back at him…

And then threw herself between Rowan and the shadows.

He could hear a voice screaming in the distance. It took several seconds for him to recognize it as his own.

~*~*~

Aelin gritted her teeth against the force of the blast but held strong as the shadows—or perhaps the female controlling them—shrieked, throwing a desperate line of fire between herself and Rowan to ensure he would remain safe.

As she had suspected from her research but not had time to prove, the ring she had continued to wear on her thumb was indeed a protective ward—bespelled for Athril, friend of Brannon’s and former lover of the very female she faced now, an unnamed goddess’ gift granting protection against the powers of the Valg. Rowan would have been injured, or killed, or worse had the shadows managed to reach him, but though they could bring her almost to her knees with their strength they could not actually touch her.

Finally the shadows ebbed, and she stood against a backdrop of her own flame. “Queen Maeve of the Fae,” she declared, “if that truly is your name, I must confess I have misled you until this point. My true charge, and my truest accusation, is not that of the murder of my parents. You stand accused of deceiving Mab and Mora—deceiving the world—as to your true nature, to hide amongst the Fae whilst your brethren tortured and killed us. You stand accused of being that which you professed to aid in killing, for whatever unknown purpose you may have had.”

Aelin summoned a small flame into each hand, a further reminder of her power. “You stand accused, my dear aunt, of being a Queen not of the Fae, but of the Valg. How do you plead?”

Maeve only laughed, the sound high and cold, though her eyes remained fixed on the fire Aelin controlled. “You think yourself clever, but you will never leave this place alive to utter such an accusation unless it is by my own choosing.”

“How, exactly, do you plan to stop me?”

“Surely you’ve realized by now that only two of my blood-sworn are in this room. While I believe that either of them would prove more than your match, I have called the others here. They will arrive within mere minutes.” A bluff, Aelin realized; at least one of them was too far away to be recalled in any haste.

“And I’m certain you’ve guessed by now that I did not come alone either,” Aelin retorted. “Nor am I a fool. You may strike me down if you so please, but it will only serve as further evidence to the rest of the world. War will be upon your doorstep if you do not yield, a war you have sought to avoid for centuries.”

She began to feel a weakness in her knees, and a cramping sensation toward the base of her spine. Maeve wouldn’t have to defeat her outright, she realized. If she merely kept Aelin talking for a few minutes more, she would be at the point of a burnout. And yet she could not risk lowering the curtain of flame that protected Rowan, not when she had only just won him away from the female who sat before her.

No, she had to hold on, for as long as she could manage.

“Your ancestor’s little book can be discredited easily enough,” Maeve sneered. “A bastard, who was no one until he fought in the wars and then fled across the sea, is no historian.”

“Perhaps you underestimate how well-loved Brannon Galathynius was by his people. They remember him kindly, as an honest male who was so brave, who shone with a fire so bright, that even the goddess of flame herself was entranced. Think about that, about an honor you will never know. A goddess gave up her immortal life for him. An act like that reverberates for ages to come, and does much to credit his word.”

Maeve shrugged with an air of indifference, but her cold and calculating eyes remained locked on Aelin and her flames. “There’s no way of knowing if your little book was even written by Brannon. I certainly don’t recall him writing one, and it is not disputed that I was present for these events.”

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face, and the hairs at the back of her neck were already drenched with it. She had to end this, and soon. “I grow weary of your games,” she snapped. “You’ve heard the accusation. How do you plead?”

“If it is answers you seek, you will find none here.” Shadows grew once more around Maeve’s feet, gathering around their mistress. “And you grow weary of more than simply games. You haven’t the strength to carry out any sentence you could deign to bestow upon me.”

Aelin laughed. “Oh, but surely you know.”

Maeve snarled, revealing elongated canines for the first time. “Know what?”

“Know that I don’t have to have the strength myself.” As she lowered the shield of flame protecting Rowan from the shadows, she drew her blade across her hand and called him to her. A quick slice across his palm and their hands clasped together as they had what felt like a lifetime ago.

Cold, swirling, ancient power slammed into her, and then there was only fire.

~*~*~

“What are you doing here?” the warrior—no, his father—hissed. “No, on second thought, don’t tell me. Don’t tell me anything about why you’re here, don’t tell me you’re who I suspect you are. You shouldn’t be here, it’s not safe.”

“You’re…” The words died in Aedion’s throat. “You’re the one Whitethorn warned me about,” he finally managed.

“Whitethorn? Rowan is back?” His father sighed. “Don’t tell me. The less I know, the better. I’m only supposed to be patrolling, there’s a chance I won’t have to get involved.”

“Involved in what, exactly? The queen’s dirty work, I would imagine.” The words came out bitter, more bitter than Aedion had intended. He didn’t know why exactly his father had left, whether it was the only protection he could give or whether whatever glory he had sought as a warrior had won over any family he could have. He’d told himself for years that he didn’t care. Aelin and her parents had been as much a family to him as he could have asked for, and he had set his thoughts of his farther aside, thinking they were unnecessary and could be forgotten.

He should have known that one day all of those ignored thoughts and feelings would come back to haunt him, though he could never have guessed that it would be in this way, with the male who should have raised him now standing between him and Aelin.

A scream sounded from the inside of the room, sounding suspiciously like Whitethorn. What was going on in that room? Aelin had told him her suspicions, her belief that the ring given to her by Dorian was unintentionally the best protection she could have acquired for this exact situation, but what if she had been wrong?

Aedion’s blood ran cold at the thought that his cousin could be injured, or worse, and he wasn’t there to help her.

His father, on the other hand, barely even grimaced, though his tawny eyes revealed a deep sadness. “I would say she was not always like this, but I’m afraid I would be lying. When it was only my own life I had to worry about, I paid it no mind. What good was my life, without a cause such as hers? For all her flaws, she protected my people. It turned out that I was good at protecting them as well—good enough to attract her attention. But know this. If you are who I suspect—and do not tell me if you are—then your mother changed everything.”

A shriek came from the room, high and cold and angry, and this time his father did flinch. That didn’t stop him from speaking, however. “For the first time in my life, I had something that mattered. And I realized what would happen if it ever came to light. Hiding our relationship would never be enough, not when all she would have to do was command me to speak the truth and it would all be revealed.”

“And so you left.” Aedion dimly realized his hands were trembling. He didn’t know what to think, what to say, what to do. Not when everything had changed so suddenly.

“And so I left, knowing that I would never be able to see her again. I couldn’t even risk knowing any more than was necessary about her life. She knew why, though. Before I left, I told her everything. I told her to keep it secret, to keep herself safe. I warned her to never come looking for me. It was without a doubt the most difficult choice I’ve ever had to make, but at the same time there was never a choice. There was only this. And there… there is not enough time in all the world to tell you everything. In fact, we only have a few more moments before her orders will demand that I bring you to her.”

“What would you have me do? I cannot abandon my—”

“Don’t tell me,” his father snapped. “And what I would have you do does not matter. All that matters right now is keeping you safe. And if that means sending you away from here, then so be it.”

“And if I don’t leave?”

“Then—” the words of the other male stopped short as he stumbled, hand going to his chest in what appeared to be an automatic gesture.

“What is it?” Aedion asked.

“The oath—it’s… but it cannot be.” The words came slowly, their speaker clearly deep in disbelief. He glanced down at his hands, and then back up at Aedion.

As one, they looked at the door to the audience chamber, where all had gone suddenly silent. Then they ran to the door, forcing it open and gaping at what lay beyond.

~*~*~

By the time the flames died out, there was nothing left of Maeve but a smoky black stain on the white stone floor. Aelin slowly let go of Rowan’s hand and approached it hesitantly, as though somehow the creature that had posed as her aunt could re-emerge from the ashes.

Then again, she had been lying to everyone for centuries. Aelin wouldn’t put it past her to come back from the dead.

As she walked, step after halting step, each breath echoing in the sudden silence of the room, she allowed herself to think a desperate prayer that this all had worked. If this all turned out to be some foolish dream, she didn’t know what she’d do.

Carefully, she drew the toe of her boot through the ashes, effectively scattering them. A black stain remained on the stone underneath them. Finally, hardly daring to hope, she looked up at Rowan. She knew immediately that his expression of wary longing matched her own, but still they stood, simply staring at one another.

One of the wolves moved behind her, breaking the silence, and suddenly they were moving, walking briskly toward each other from across the room. She had just reached the midpoint when she was swept into the arms of a laughing male.

Aelin blinked, startled from the sudden spinning, only to find that it was the wrong male who had swept her away.

He was objectively beautiful, long golden curls offset by eyes of onyx and lips curled into an easy grin. “You did it,” he was saying through his laughter. “By all the gods, I never thought this day would come!”

A growl from behind her cut off any response she could have hoped to make, but the male only laughed harder. “Oh, come on, Rowan! You’ll have her for… gods, however long this one lives, I suppose. Assuming she doesn’t get another crazy idea and get you both killed tomorrow.”

The door burst open then, Aedion coming through at a sprint with another Fae male who looked stunningly like him. Aelin gave him a pointed look and then gestured between the two of them questioningly, but Aedion only shook his head. She’d have to pester him later for answers, then.

Another door opened, this one behind the dais where Maeve had sat, and a voice, rough and dark, shouted, “What have you done, you fire-breathing bitch?”

“The queen wasn’t Fae!” the male who was still holding her shouted, laughter turning desperate and almost hysterical. “She was one of the Valg, who disguised herself to stay behind. This one here figured it out and confronted her, and she freed us! She freed us, Lorcan, could you be less grumpy for one second of your miserable existence? Gods, I could kiss—”

A strong wind blasted around the room, knocking the golden male backwards, and when she turned she saw another male knocked to the floor as well. This one was almost impossibly tall, with dark hair and even darker eyes that were angrily fixed on Aelin herself.

The black wolf beside him shifted as well, revealing the mirror image of the golden male who had approached her. “It’s true,” he murmured. “I don’t know what to make of it. But everything Fen said is true.”

Aelin’s gaze stuttered from male to male. It was too much, it was all too much, she couldn’t—

Warm arms scented with pine and snow surrounded her, and she buried her face in Rowan’s shirt, eyes squeezed shut to block out as much sensation as possible. Her fingers clutched at the utilitarian fabric, and a small part of her mind wondered what it would take to get him to wear finer shirts.

A larger part recognized that voice for the hysterical distraction that it was, but it was better than facing… everything.

Finally, she realized Rowan was speaking to the others. “—sort this out later,” he was saying, the words rumbling in his chest so she felt as much as heard them. “We’ll have time, and Aelin came too close to a burnout. She needs rest.”

“She killed our queen!” the angry male shouted. “What has she done to you, that you would not have her answer for what she’s done?”

Another growl, this one from Aedion, but she couldn’t even look at him. Not now.

A calmer voice rang out from across the room, one that hadn’t spoken yet as far as Aelin could recall. “She’s overwhelmed,” the voice pointed out. “We’ll have no answers from her in this state, none that make any sense anyway. Let Rowan take care of her, and let us speak to her companion.”

“And if her companion doesn’t wish to speak without her consent?” Aedion replied testily.

“It’s all right, cousin,” she called, pulling away from Rowan to look at him. “You can tell them whatever they need to know.”

She took one step toward him, then another, but she could feel the weakness of her knees and the trembling in her limbs. She had overextended herself, gone too far, and the strain of unleashing all of those accusations had taken its toll as well.

Soon she was swept back into Rowan’s grasp, one arm holding her legs at the knee and the other supporting her back. “As much as I admire your determination to handle everything all at once,” he said with a shake of his head, “not even you can take on the entire world at the same time. It’s all right to need rest.”

“Go on,” said the male that was standing beside Aedion. “Take her out of here. We’ll speak with her when she’s ready.”

Rowan didn’t say anything else to any of the others, instead silently stepping out into the hall and beginning to walk. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“I did live here, you know,” he said dryly. “I have rooms.”

“Why, Rowan Whitethorn,” she grinned, pretending to be scandalized. “Are you taking me to bed?”

“After a stunt like you just put us through?” he asked.

Aelin felt her face fall. Of course he wouldn’t want her that way. Being mates was no guarantee of love, or even of happiness. There had been times where she thought perhaps he wanted her, but that didn’t mean that he would ever act on it.

Before she could say anything, could play off her remark as a simple jest, he had shifted his grip on her, using the wall to support her back so he could grip her chin. “Aelin, of all the countless mistakes I’ve made over the course of my life, making you doubt this is among the greatest,” he confessed. “There is much we need to discuss, you and I, but I don’t want to have that conversation when you’re already overwhelmed.”

Aelin could scarcely believe her ears. “So then you… are taking me to bed?”

“Aelin,” he purred next to her ear. “I am absolutely taking you to bed.”

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, only to fall asleep in his arms before they even reached their destination.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou

#haven writes #rules of engagement #rowaelin

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falsegoodnight · 5 years ago

Text

some fic recs from the past months:

(this is for the person who requested via an ask!)

i haven’t been reading as many fics as i would like to be reading especially in the past few weeks, but here’s a bunch that i’ve either read or reread in the past couple of months (in no particular order):

make this feel like home by @soldouthaz | 43k

The house on West 28th Street in London is twice the size of Louis', more expensive than the price of all of his house and car payments combined, and is falling apart at the seams.

like it’s a game by @soldouthaz | 32k

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

let me carry your weight by @soldouthaz | 29k

louis is fresh out of a bad relationship with someone who made him feel awful about how he looked. on his journey to better himself, he meets harry - the ridiculously attractive and fit personal trainer.

call if you need me by @soldouthaz (a reread!) | 11k

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

* as you can tell, i’m very much biased when it comes to sarah :) especially her last fic which i beta-read! go read!

shouldn’t cry (but i love it) by @bloubird | 7k

They're roommates. They're quarantined. There's a small problem coming up.

Until by @allwaswell16 | 38k

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

Ours are the moments I play in the dark by @holdingthornsandroses (reread!) | 31k

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

Ghost Note Symphony by @crazyupsetter | 96k

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

Love’s Truest Language by @smrwine (a favorite of all time) | 53k

The first part was meant as a joke. He didn't really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.

“Where's your order forms, then?”

“I don't want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.

Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”

Tainted Saints and Velvet Vices by Toomanytears (reread!) | 126k

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

a trail of honey through it all by @yvesaintlourent | 27k

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

kiss like fire by @louizsv | 9k

Harry watches as his uncle's new omega walks around the backyard, serving canapés and drinks to all of the family members gathered. Harry is surrounded by his cousins, all sat together, too young for the adults but too old for the kids and teens. He lifts his beer to his lips and takes a sip when the omega crouches down by one of Harry's younger cousins and hands her a small cracker, sending her off with a sweet smile.

He watches as his uncle comes out of the house, sliding the patio door shut behind him and quickly making his way over to his omega. The omega looks up at him when he wraps an arm around his waist. His pretty lips move with soft-spoken words. Harry has to fight to keep his alpha in check when his dirty old uncle's hand dips down, grabbing at the omega's ass and making him jump.

"Dude," one of his cousins says, "Uncle Darron's new omega is such a milf."

Also, this one isn’t completed yet but I still recommend:

Lidocaine and Palm Trees by @boldbabe | currently 40k, 4/5 chapters posted

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

that took much longer than anticipated but i hope you (or anyone) enjoy! if anyone asks, i’ll maybe do a rec list for my favorite fics of all time... we’ll see.

remember to give kudos and consider commenting if you check any of these out!! they’re all fantastic!

*let me know if i made any errors :)

#asks #fic recs #my fic recs #2020 recs #all of these are bl so i hope you don’t mind anon #that’s 90% of what i read #enjoyyy #i'm probably forgetting something because i did not plan this out

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girlwithacrown · 5 years ago

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Wolfstar Archeology

So I did some digging

There is this super awesome fanfic “Not Ever” and I wanted to read some more of the same author, but it is an orphan account on AO3, so I did some small digging and found out that the account was actually hacked and everything was orphaned, there is a LadyFaceElena Masterlist.

As far as I understood, after the hack they published under the name angryspaceravenclaw, nowadays the account’s fics are also orphaned and the tumblr angry-space-ravenclaw is empty, but there is also a Wolfstar fics published under angryspaceravenclaw and LadyFaceElena: Masterlist 1 and Masterlist 2 (all pairings)

some Wolstar fics published under LadyFaceElena:

Loved In Spite of Ourselves (LONG, 170k, not complete)

"It began with four boys, and one compartment." Spanning across time, through the first war, and into the second. The years were both kind and cruel for ones called Marauders, and for ones who came after. But they knew friendship, and sorrow, and love, and joy. And sometimes it was only things things which allowed them to survive--if that's all they could do. Survive.

Artists and Moonlight (series, 20k, not complete)

Remus Lupin isn't sure what to make of his new flatshare situation. He's a quiet student with a past, who doesn't date and is determined to keep it that way. Then he meets his artist flatmate, Sirius Black and his entire world is turned upside down.

There Were Strangers Watching (6k, complete)

Sirius is determined that Remus have some fun before they begin University, so using the money his uncle left him in the will, he drags Remus off to Las Vegas. Determined to have fun, the boys explore the city, have a few drinks, and wake up...married? It would all be fun and games if Remus Lupin hadn't been madly in love with Sirius Black for almost five long years.

Tumblr Trash (series, 35k, not complete)

Padfoot and Moony meet over mutual follows on Tumblr. Remus, the blind student, hires Sirius, the fallen Aristocrat, to be a reader for his classes. They fall in love in separate ways, and fall apart. Then fall together. Their love is almost as ridiculous as they are.

WolfStar (series, 45k, not complete)

Two worlds collide. Deaf artist Sirius Black works at his best mate's cafe. Remus Lupin is an epileptic student from France who is just looking to get by unnoticed. But the artist sees something he wants in the shy boy, and makes it his mission to see what makes Remus tick.

Fiery-Coloured World (3k, complete)

Sirius knew it would be minutes, moments, seconds before his heart told him he was in love and there was no going back from the emotional tidal wave that was Remus bloody Lupin.

Finally Found My Hallelujah (15k, complete)

Remus Lupin had always been good at sorting out dates and special occasions for people, which is why his best friend and Quidditch star, James Potter, talked him into wedding planning once they left Hogwarts. He lived a solitary, but happy life. That is, until King Slytherin, Sirius Black, strolls into his office and asks for help planning his arranged marriage. Remus Lupin is nothing if not a professional, but it's not easy when the groom-to-be was the man Remus had been fantasising about since fifth year.

Remember Me (5k, complete)

Remus Lupin was having an Ordinary Tuesday. That is, until a strange boy grabs him and offers him money to play the boyfriend. Remus thinks it will all be fine, until he's pulled into Number 12 Grimmauld place, and finds himself swept away by Sirius O. Black.

Forever (20k, complete)

Sirius Black--CoDA, outcast, family disappointment, and fairly famous YouTuber who runs a sign language channel SiriuslySigns with his best mate, James. Remus Lupin-- vegan hipster who dropped out of University and lives with his best mate Peter, and together run HowlingMoon's DIY, barmy science experiments, and ukulele tutorials channel. When Sirius becomes enamoured with Moony's singing, he dedicates a sign tutorial in hopes he'll be noticed. This leads to exchanging of shout-outs and videos, and what Sirius hopes, is a little something more.

Far Away the Stars (36k, complete)

“Oh hell, what a pair we make,” Remus said, and Sirius threw his head back and laughed.“Truest statement I’ve heard in a long time.” Sirius bowed his head. “I don’t care about people easily. But you’re like a fucking tidal wave, Moony. You just short of showed up and swept me away and I gave up trying to fight it.”Remus fought back the urge to grab him and pull him down and just have him right there because they hadn’t got that far yet. “And here I thought you just didn’t like me. Who knew?”

Aging Gracelessly (13k, complete)

Remus is being dragged into the modern century by his son in the form of a brand-new smartphone. He means to text Teddy, and ends up accidentally meeting, and sharing his plight with another person in the same boat as him. Though Remus thinks it's just a passing moment, little does he know what wheels have been set in motion.

Forever is Definitely Punk Rock (9k, complete)

When Remus Lupin met Sirius Black for the first time, he very nearly killed him. Now, it wasn’t entirely his fault, something he would maintain for the rest of his life, and Sirius being as dramatic as he was would often remind the taller, tawny-haired man of his very harrowing near-death experience at the front bumper of his car.

#Wolfstar archaeology #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #i did some digging

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madllamamomma · 5 years ago

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Journey Back to the South Part 9~

[Kinda SWF, no real smut. Sorry guys. But it’s coming!]

The Illuminator~

With your feet dangling off the ground, Muriel’s lips are pressed against yours in front of the entire tribe to see.

He never. Ever. Kisses you in front of people. He may have done it once or twice, a little quick shy peck on the cheek or forehead—But nothing like this. This is an intense loving kiss that leaves you breathless and can’t resist kissing him back. It takes you completely off guard. The crowd around you both is going completely wild with cheers, wild trills, and vocables. Yet, he doesn’t seem to even be fazed by it. What the fuck is going on?! As soon as you both part for air, your faces are completely red and hot.

The corners of your mouth twitch up onto a startled smile. “Wh…. what was that for—”

Muriel for some reason looks so strangely happy, not seeming to realize what he had done. “I… Don’t….. You’re just…. You—Y— You’re a phoenix.”

You flutter your eyes unsure what to do or say. “Yeah… a-apparently so. What does that have to do with anything?”

His eyes are sparkling and he shakes his head disbelief. “You’re…. a phoenix!!”

“...I’m a phoenix!” You repeat completely confused of what is going on at the moment. Why is this such a big deal to him? Is there something I’m missing here??

“You…I- we—……The meadow…. and… the phoenix—” As poor Muriel flounders for words, it dawns on him what he had just done in front of all the Kokhuri to see, but still holds you in his arms and his body heats up even more. “—Shit—Sorry— I shouldn’t have!!”

“W—wha-...What?! Why are you sorry?!”

“I-I don’t know!!.... I just—For some reason I couldn’t stop myself…. I… moved before I could think…” He says sounding nearly panicked as he sets you back down to your feet. But still there is a new gleam in his eyes. Like he realized something amazing that he hadn’t before. You both jump a little as Una places her hands on the both of you, tears streaming down, and Muriel starts to look very concerned. “Una?.... What’s wrong? Why are you upset?” Muriel peers all around, then notices the other elders are tearing up too, even Ronin and Tad. “W-why is everyone upset?? Did I do something wrong?!”

She sniffles a little and pats his arm comfortingly. “No, no! Don’t worry. These are good tears, my boy!” She tries to blot the tears away with her sleeve, but they just keep streaming down making lines in the bright paint. Yet, she continues to smile from ear to ear. “Oh, little cub…. Your mother, Glenna… Her cast did the same thing all those years ago when we were young… Remember the first day you came here?? Berty and I told you the story of how your parents met?” She turns around pointing to the now very vibrant night sky, then glances back up at him. “... Glenna’s cast waited for Artturi, just like your cast waited for Rhemi’s!!” Una tries to stifle a sniffle as much as she can and the paint on her face starts to slightly run more. “... She wouldn’t go up without him! The great lights haven’t lit up like this since they—” Una cut herself off, and shakes her head, but still smiles. Muriel still looks very wary as she continues to sob happily and she tries to reassure him. “—Ahh!! Don’t mind this blubbering old woman, little cub! I’m sorry… I… I just never thought I’d see that sight again. None of us did!”

Muriel‘s eyes glance back up to the Aurora as it dances across the night sky, shaking his head, still very lost in all of this. “What does…. this... all mean?”

Una chuckles a bit and turns her attention toward you, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders. “I’m not really sure!” Gently, she holds your now, cool face in her warm hands and squishes it a little. “...But, the two of you no doubt have a special bond. A very strong bond!! It took years for mine and Berty’s cast to know one another!!”

“... How come… ours do know each other??” You ask, voice muffled by her hands as she continues to squish your face.

“... Maybe it’s because you see each other in your dreams, like how Artturi visited Glenna in her’s…. Perhaps that’s why you both know one another in your truest form—Casts can’t lie about who they truly are.” Your face is then buried in thick fur as she embraces you tightly in her arms and starts to lightly pet your hair. You can feel her heart beating rather rapidly in her chest.

Gilbert lets out a loud hearty laugh that rattles the hillside. “Whatever it is, you both have something special!” Suddenly he wraps his arms around Muriel, squeezing him in a tight bear hug, even slightly lifting him off his feet. The sudden embrace startles him for a moment, but then he somewhat relaxes. Perhaps getting used to all this affection, but his face beaming red, and still looks uncomfortable. As Gilbert lets go of Muriel, he braces his shoulders with both hands, his eyes welling with tears. “You have no idea how proud your parents would be, little cub. You are made up of the best parts of them.” He mutters to him with such bittersweet pride in his voice. “... They would have loved to have seen this. See you grow up to be such a great son.” Muriel's face looks so confused and unsure how to react to all of this, but looks a bit emotional as Gilbert says that.

Gilbert then let’s go of Muriel and immediately starts to slam his hands on his chest, sharply breathing in his mouth. He soon starts a beat and everyone quickly falls into Amrán De Mo Chroí, ‘The song of our hearts’ chant like the first day of the gathering. But this time it is not as melancholic like it was the first day. Rather the cadence is faster, and everyone's tone sounds more happy, but still very driving, energetic, and full of emotion as they chant it.

Still unsure what to do you wrap your arms around Muriel’s and he tries to hide a tear from falling. Everyone seems to be so lost in the chant, but you soon realize, not everyone is chanting. Shona’s eyes are red, watery, and filled with anger and she shooting you a sharp hateful glare. With her lips tightly pressed together, she backs away from the crowd before vanishing from your sight.

Before you know it a few people grab you by the arms and tug you toward the camp and get separated from Muriel. They are all singing a very merry tune. Somehow you find yourself by the fire, and getting roped into dance around it. Ava and Keavy are close by, but not Muriel. Keavy is quick to tug you close to dance with you, but you stop, trying to yell over the crowd, “Wait!!! I don’t know this dance!”

Keavy laughs and pulls you close by her left side so you can hear her without screaming. “Don’t worry! It’s easy! Here, watch me!” She slowly demonstrates first with her hands, then with her feet. The dance seemed a lot more complicated at first, but it actually isn’t all that bad and you find your rhythm with the beat of the music. “See!! You're a natural, Rhemi!” You feel your arm get tugged in the opposite direction and Keavy wiggles her fingers—“JUST HAVE FUN~!!!”

Twirling around, you end up with a skinnier Kokhurian arms—it’s Tad, and he has a huge toothy smile on his face. “Oi! Where is your betrothed, Rhemi?” He asks loudly as he spins you around and suddenly Ronin grabs your wrist and starts to dance with you too.

“I don't know!!! I lost him after the hillside—!” Ronin and Tad both exchange smiles, both apparently having the same idea. Ronin then lifts you up for a brief moment in a smooth dancing move giving you the perfect opportunity to find him. And there he is, on the side lines appearing to be looking for you as well. “Ooo! OOO!!! There he is!!” You wave at him giddily and he finally catches your eyes and grins looking a bit relieved.

As you return to your feet pat Ronin on the arm. “Thanks guys!!!” The couple wave you off and start to dance with one another and you work your way through the energetic crowd towards your shy hermit. You see that Shawn tries to get Muriel to join the dancing, but it's no use. He’s not budging. Soon, Shawn’s arm is linked with a pretty, young girl around his age, inviting him to dance with her. He blushed from chest to ears and he has an adorable large silly smile, unable to resist her.

Ava jumps out of the crowd to the side where Muriel is standing and shakes their head. Disappointedly watching as their brother gives up so quickly on their cousin because of a girl. Ava then waves Muriel in, with both hands. But he just shakes his head with a small sneer. They however are not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Looking rather determined, they tilt their head side-to-side seeming to be squaring up as they roll up their sleeves. Before Muriel realizes what is happen Ava dashes forwards, wrapping their arms around his waist, taking him completely by surprise. Using the same moves they used during the games, Ava somehow wrangles him into the dancing crowd around the large fire. He stumbles backwards and is caught quickly by Una and he recovers himself. He then attempts to pull himself out, but is unsuccessful as Gilbert and Ronin throw him back in. “O chan eil, Muriel! Get back in ‘ere!!!!”

Before he tries to escape once again, you take his wrist and inlace your fingers with his. He relaxes once he feels your familiar small hand in his and glances down to you, a deep blush taking over his cheeks and ears. “You know I don’t know how to dance!” He grumbles, but it’s loud enough for you to hear and you smile wide to reassure him.

A giggle emanates from your lungs and you shout over the loud sounds. “This isn’t the same though! Look around you, no one cares!!” Quickly, he scans the scene all around; Eventually he realizes that this isn’t dancing like back at home. This isn’t ballroom dancing at the palace, or waltzing at the Rowdy Raven. This is wild and almost primitive dancing, trilling, making various vocables and singing—just pure joyous celebration. Some are just jumping or running in circles around the fire while others are actually dancing—Some are even dancing it badly themselves, but are unperturbed. “See? No one is paying attention at all! Here, watch me!” You pull him towards you and he offers you no resistance as you show him the easy steps by his side just like Keavy did for you. He’s stiff, but he seems to pick up the steps easily enough and you both start to dance together. He gradually gets more relaxed and even seems to (almost) enjoy himself, even though he is trying to hide it. The music continues and it drives everyone into keep going, the high energy is very infectious.

After about twenty minutes or so, Muriel and you are able to pull yourselves out of the dancing during the transition of another song starts to play. Your hand tightly held with his as you both take a seat down on the sideline nearly breathless. Amazed that the rest of the crowd is still going. But you do notice that you can’t find Shona anywhere. Last time you saw her, she looked really upset at you, then she just…. vanished. And it makes you wonder where she went. You feel your heart drop a little. Jeez. I hope I didn’t ruin the celebration for them…

You look over to your right and notice Ida and Inanna curled up together fast asleep, the two have no right to look that completely and utterly adorable snuggled up like that. It’s probably around three or four o’clock in the morning, the poor thing is way past her bedtime. As you continue to look at cozy the two of them look, you honestly wouldn’t mind curling up and sleeping right now either, and by the look of Muriel’s eyes he wouldn’t either. Casting your aura was really surprisingly difficult and exhausting. Perhaps not or Muriel, but most definitely for you. Una mentioned that you might have given up too much. Drained magic always gets you sleepy. Then you got roped into dancing for however long, plus the time you had to find Muriel, then you both danced for awhile. Now you already tired limbs feel like limp noodles. But the other Kokhurians have no signs of stopping. Muriel looks like he could keep going if he really wanted to, but there is no way he is going to go back in there without you. You lean over and take advantage of Muriel’s presence and rest your head on his arm, and instantly feel more comfortable and warm. “Is this all that you expected when you got invited to stay almost two weeks ago?” You utter to him, feeling your vocal cords scratch in your throat from all the yelling.

He snorts and leans into you as well. “No. Not at all. It was… it was…” He pauses, thinking hard on what he is trying to say but shakes his head and gives up. “...It was different than I thought.”

“... Are you happy we came?” You ask stifling a yawn, your eyelids feeling heavy.

“... Yes. I am… Thanks, Rem.”

You can’t help but sputter a little. “For what?”

“.... I… I’m glad…. that you convinced us to come down here. This-... This is honestly one of the best times I’ve had in a long—” You feel his head turn and look towards your face, you try your hardest to keep your eyes open, but they are starting to fall. You’re still listening though.

He drapes his hand tenderly over your shoulder and very gently shakes you until you open your eyes. “Hmmmm?…. Sorry! I-I’m—I’m awake! Just resting my eyes.”

Muriel barks a short laugh and stands to his feet, then offers his hand to help you up. “Com’on.... You’re tried. And I am too.” You want to argue with him, tell him that you can stay up. But you can’t deny how exhausted you are. Even though you both rested this afternoon, you're tempted to join Ida and curl up to Inanna’s soft fur and go to sleep. Reluctantly you take his hand and let him help you to your feet. “Lets get some sleep.” Muriel glance over to Inanna, but she doesn’t budge from her spot, and stays curled around Ida, keeping her warm and comfortable as if she was her own pup. He shrugs, she can take care of herself.

As soon as you get to the tent, you tear off your cloak and corset belt, plop your ass down on the bedding, kick off your shoes, grab the blankets, and furs and lazily wrap yourself in them like a cocoon. All the while, Muriel stokes the fire to keep the tent warm. Once he finally gets to the bedding and after he takes off his belts, cloak, and shoes, you wrap your arms around him and pull him down and cuddle him tight before he can take off his shirt startling him a little. “-Rem, you didn’t even take off your skirt.” He mumbles, slight amusement in his voice. You silently shrug, too tired to speak any words other than just grumbles and groans. Then you become very quiet and still. “... You already asleep?” He whispers. You hear him, but you can’t seem to answer him; you’re just too tired. As you nearly drift off, you can feel him give you a feather light kiss on your forehead, then he presses his cheek gently to your temple. He very quietly whispers. “.... I can’t wait to be your husband.”

“Wh—? Huh?!” Your eyes fly open, not believing your ears, and you pull yourself out of his embrace to groggily look at his face. “... Did…. did you just say the ‘H’ word, Mur?!”

A large shiver runs down his spine and he tucks you closer to his chest attempting to hide his embarrassed expression and his crimson red face and chest, you can even hear his heart beat thud faster in his chest. “... N-NO!... I… I didn’t say anything… must have been dreaming.” He lies.

“Pfft!! You big adorable fibber!” You rub your left eye, then run your fingers through his hair making him melt into the bedding. A soft giggle escapes behind your teeth and you pepper his neck with sloppy kisses. “Say it again…. I wanna hear it….” You mutter, half asleep, mumbling in his neck.

Heat immediately radiates off of his chest at that request. “W-what-?... A-Aren’t you supposed to be exhausted??” He is right, you are very tired… You decide to cuddle up and drop it… for now. But your heart is leaping inside your chest—He finally said it, there is no taking it back. It makes being engaged feel that more real. You’re going to be with him for the rest of your life. It feels wonderful to know that. Even if you two didn’t get married, just being with him the rest of your life is all you really wanted.

A large yawn fills your lungs and you try to fight the urge to drift off. “Fine…. but… you better get…. used to…. to those…. *yawn*... words…” Nuzzling your face into his warm chest you start to feel sleep taking over once again, and there isn’t overcoming it this time. “.... Love you, Mur. I… I can’t w-wait to… to be you—…. your…… wi.....fe….”

Finally sleep incapacitates you and you drift into the realm of dreams. Fiery wings and all, feeling free and happy. Soon Mister Bear is there to join you once again and you both run around the large empty tundra.

This is my favorite dream….

—-—-—-

The morning call of the rouge rooster wakes you from your happy dream and you find yourself laying on your back and Muriel’s face is buried in your chest, slightly snoring. You don’t mind him there, finding him in this position is actually quite cute. But as soon as you fidget just the slightest, he wakes up, shuddering when he realizes his position and rolls over onto his side looking apologetic. “.... S-Sorry, was I heavy?” He mumbles groggily.

You smile at him almost longingly, fingers lightly brushing up against the grain of his stubble on his cheek, strangely enjoying that sandpaper feeling. “No, you were fine…” You fiddle with a small lock of his now messy hair, loving the feeling of it and studying the dark color. You love his hair. “I love you Muri.”

“I love you too.” He whispers back very sincerely and he leans into your touch.

He holds the small of your back as he moves to his spine and you lay on his chest. “So….. What… ah…. What happened last night?” You finally ask.

He slightly stretches out his toes and rubs his tired face with is free hand. “What do you mean? What part?”

“Well…. For starters… You kissed me in front of everyone” Muriel suddenly becomes very flushed, he seemed to have all but forgot that. “—N-not that I mind that! I actually really enjoyed it. It was just a shock. A good shock!... But I know you were about ten different shades of red after it. Like you didn’t mean to.”

He averts his eyes and turns his head away from you looking at the opposite side of the tent and flounders for words. “.... I… I don’t know… I just… you—the….the casts and the lights…. it was just…” he sighs very heavily, frustration thick in his tone.

“I didn’t say it was bad!!! The others didn’t mind at all! They even cheered for you!.... All I am trying to say was that… It’s just not like you. Do you not know why you did either?” He shrugs and stays quiet, seeming to not know what to say. You haven't seen him this uncomfortable alone with you in such a long time now, it’s almost alarming. You decide to take pity on him and you hold his hand. “You don’t have to answer, Mur.”

Muriel taps the top of your hand. You move off of his chest and Muriel sits himself up, peering over to the dying fire. Finally by the time you think he’s going to ignore the question, he breaks the silence. “I… just remembered my nightmare before we came down here…. That’s the first time I thought I remembered seeing the phoenix… She-… well.. you helped me… It made all the bad things so away.....” You heart leap inside your chest a bit. You always wondered what he meant that you were in his dream. Still its is confusing how you even got there. “.... But then you mentioned the meadow and then I remembered that too…” He pauses, pondering a bit more, pushing back his messy hair out his face. “... guess I’ve been leaping longer than I thought.” Letting his hair down the rest of the way, he shakes it out a little so he can fix it later before he continues. “—Anyways— I just should have known it was you…. I mean… I had suspensions… But I wasn’t sure….. I guess in the back of my mind I always knew, but… once I saw you burst into flames last night—”

Burst into… Flames?! What the hell?! Shooting your upper body up from the bedding, you make him jump from your sudden movement. “Wait—I did what now?!”

“....Y- Your magic—when you were summoning your aura last night, it looked like fire. It even had heat to it—You lit up most of the hillside!” In complete disbelief, you flutter your eyes, not sure what to think of all this as you continue to listen to him. “...That’s why we all were so shocked…. I.. I kinda got worried at first—afraid of you being in pain. But Una stopped me... made me realize that you were fine….. I… I even saw you do that in your dream once.... You know.... the one with Ezavior.”

You stare at him, mouth opened, completely lost for words. You had no idea that had happened. You did feel the warmth, but you didn’t think your magic would manifest physically like it did. “That’s….ah…. that is… A little… umm…. strange.” You mutter scratching the back of your head, trying to envision the sight. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

He gives you a small smile. “It’s fine. You weren’t in pain, that's all I cared about.”

“It’s kinda weird… but it's also... kinda…. Awesome!!” Randomly you start to rant, and Muriel just listens to your silliness. “— I can burst into freakin’ flames?! FIRE?! How awesome is that?! I didn’t know I could do that!!! I had never even seen a phoenix before last night! I guess I still haven't seen a real one technically.... But it was really cool to see!!” You finally stop you rants and your eyes light up and mischievously glance over to Muriel and his nostrils flare, getting prepared. He knows…

“...Don’t… you…dare...” He grumbles, brow furrowed. “Too early for this--.”

You smile idiotically, unable to resist. “...Or should I say…. Hot~ —OOOOFF!!!” Right as you utter that word, he very gently smack his pillow at your face, muffling your giggles.

His face twisted like he smelled something horrible and he sighs painfully. A large reluctant grin sprouts across his lips and you burst into full laughter at his disgust. You’ve made some bad puns before. But that one was up there. “.... Why?! Gah—That one …. actually hurt—Physically hurt me!! That was so bad.” He mutters and shakes his head slowly.

“Where??” You manage to ask through your giggles.

He move his entire body so he can show you and points to his chest with his pointer and middle finger chuckling at his words. “Here—Right here. Goddamn it, that was so awful!!... Holyshitwoman.”

You can’t help but laugh harder at him as he shakes his head at you a little more, but he is still smiling widely. “I’m sorry, Love.”

“Pfft! Whatever! No you’re not.” He snorts with his eyebrow raised.

Still laughing at yourself, you shake your head sharply, still sporting a ridiculous smile. “Yeah—No… I’m not.” You stretch your arms out a little and continue to giggle softly to yourself. “Remember you asked this to marry you!” Gesturing vaguely to all of your body you shimmy your arms slight. “...You're gonna have to deal with this shit for a while! You sure you wanna sign up for this the rest of your life?”

Muriel blushes a bit, but has a cute grin on his face as he leans into you, his gaze very warm. “... Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” He says under his breath his pointer finger and thumb slightly tilting back your chin. A large aroused shiver runs up your spine, making your breath shaky as he closes the gap. His chapped morning lips tenderly pressed against yours, and you kiss him back. Loving his touch, his taste, his gentleness, his everything. This is the man you are going to marry. How did I manage this? Not only does he love me….. I’m not afraid to be myself. He makes me feel so safe. He makes me feel brave. Strong… like I could do anything. I want to be by his side forever. I want to be there for him.

Somehow you find yourself straddled on top of him, lips smacking passionately. It’s unclear how exactly you got there, but really, you do not care. Both of you start to feel hot and heavy, hips starting to move and grind erotically. And you start to pull up his shirt, thirsting to taste, feeling hunger in your eyes. As you work your kisses down his abdomen, making him slightly moan and hiss, you start to undo his pants. But out of nowhere he becomes stiff and grabs your wrist gently to stop you. “—Wait!!! Rhemi! IT’S THE SOLSTICE TODAY!!”

“Huh?....” Your eyes meet with his, the urgency behind his gaze makes you realize—FUCK! Today is the third day!!!! You inhale sharply gasping, “AVA!!!! SHIT FUCK!!!! WHAT TIME IS IT?! We—We still have to talk to Gilbert!!! OH, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!!” Both of you hastily scramble to get dressed. Ava is probably waiting around outside this very moment to practice a few more times before tonight. After donning your boots, you glance up at Muriel and notice a small hickey on his neck, before he covers it up with his green scarf. You smack your forehead with your left palm and groan. “Fuck…. I did it again…. I’m so sorry, Muri. I’m now the frigid queen of blue balling.”

Muriel turns to you as he clasps. “I’ll live. I know this is important to Ava and to you! You two have been working very hard for more than a week.” You stick out your bottom lip a little feeling very guilty still. “.... Don’t look like that.” He snorts in amusement at you.

Your face flushes all of a sudden. “Look like what?”

“Like this.” He sticks out his bottom lip imitating what must be your expression… and he does it a little too well.

Your brow furrows and your mouth gapes open feeling a bit impressed and called out. “I-I do not look like that!”

He stifles a short bark with his hand, nodding his head. “Yes. You do! Just like a kid who dropped their candy.” You start to stick out your bottom lip a bit more out of instinct and his shoulders shake, holding in his laughter.

“I am offended by this accusation, sir! I am an adult!! And I do not pout like that!” You fold your arms tightly trying to hide a smile.

“What??” He snickers a bit at your reaction and shrugs. “...It’s cute. I think it is anyway.”

Not knowing what to say in retaliation, you mutter, “Shut up...”, and stick out your tongue making his shoulder shake from holding in his laughter.

“Oh, yeah. You're an adult alright” His hand brushes against your cheek and he leans down kissing your forehead. “I’m going to see if anyone needs some help today. When I come back I’ll bring you back something to eat.”

Unable to resist, you wriggle your brow, quickly wink, and seductively bite your bottom lip. “Ooh, are you now, Muri~?”

Muriel sputters as crimson red paints his face and ears. “Dammit!! NOT LIKE THAT!!!” He half shouts, throwing his cloak over his shoulders. “... Terrible!! Just…. terrible!!” He grumbles under his breath, but you swear you can hear a slight snorty chuckle.

You tilt your head and glance at his groin. “I mean….. I have been rather hungry for some—”

“—R-RHEMI!!”

“What?? I was going to say ‘fish’.” You grin, batting your eyelashes, fakely looking innocent, stifling your snickers. “... Where was your mind at, Muriel?”

“Yeah…. sure you were…” He snorts through his nose and rolls his eyes, attempting to hide a flattered grin behind the fur of his cloak.

As you fasten you corset belt you quickly ask,“Are you trying to say… you wouldn’t like that?”

He stiffens, staring hard at the ground, scratching his neck, grumpily murmuring, “....Didn’tsaythat….” Slightly smirking at the thought, then shakes his head from lewd thoughts, his cheeks flushed once again. “—Fish! I am going and getting us some fish! Y-You— Go find Ava!” Adorably, he storms out the tent, and you giggle to yourself. Oh boy, I fuckin’ love that shy man~

After you finally get yourself presentable, you dash out of the tent and start to look around camp for Ava. Shockingly, they aren’t waiting outside. Judging by the sun, it’s about to be noon and the sun will be going down in only five or so hours. Gilbert starts the tales around nine o’clock. Time is of the essence!

You make your way around, you search high and low. You don’t have their pencil anymore, nor anything else that is theirs so you can’t conjure a searching spell to find them like you did before. Some more time goes by and you’ve looked almost everywhere for them; near the tombstones, on the hillside where the forget-me-nots are next to camp, you even search near their tent. Not many people are awake right now, you could only guess that they are all still resting from staying up so late last night. But you do see Ida and Keavy walking around, then notice Una rocking her little baby asleep in her arms outside of her tent while some of her younger kids are weaving baskets. To make sure that you don’t stir anyone up, you start to whisper Ava’s name, hoping that they would come out. But it’s no use. You even politely ask around to the people who are awake. Yet no one has seen them since early this morning during their patrol.

Feeling at a loss, you decide to take a break for a moment and sit near the giant fire in the middle of camp. Not very long after, you notice Muriel walking towards you with four large fish tied to some string. He looks around you with slight confusion on his face. “Where’s Ava?” He asks as he starts to cook three of the four fish in the large fire, and tosses Inanna the other. “I caught them something to eat too.”

You huff, stick out your bottom lip feeling a bit defeated. “Still can’t find them…” A small shiver runs down your spine and tuck your knees into your chest.

“Hmm…”

Both of you sit there for a moment while the fish cook. A large growl rubbles loudly from your stomach as you eye the large cooking trout. Muriel eyes fall onto you, and your face blanches a bit. He chuckles softly, takes one of the trout that’s ready and hands it to you. “... You should eat… don’t need you passing out today.”

“Yeah, I’m not that delicate, dear!” You scowl at him slightly. But hastily you grab the fish by the stick instantly making your mouth water. “....Buuuut you've got a good point.”

You take a large bite without a second thought and Muriel shudders.“—Hey, careful! Don’t burn—” You shrug, and his words die in his throat. It’s warm, but not that bad, it doesn’t burn your mouth either so you continue to eat. “I… I just took that off the fire…” He mutters to himself, shaking his head a little, inspecting the fish in your hand. “Is it not cooked?”

You shake your head and wipe your mouth with your sleeve. “Tastes done to me.” But it is weird that it’s already cool enough to eat.

Unconvinced, he pokes at the unchard part of it with his finger, testing the temperature. Immediately he pulls away, hissing and shaking his hand, sticking his finger briefly in his mouth to cool it. “It’s still hot!!.... Rem, H-How are you doing that?!”

You stop chewing and look between him and the fish. There are still some embers burning on the scales. It is hot. As you think for a few seconds, you just now realized that you don’t remember the last time you have been burnt. Other than fevers from being sick and the seduction elixir, heat hasn’t really bothered you. “.... I… I dunno…” You put the fish down for a moment and stare at your hands, but they are also unfazed by the searing heat. This is really weird.

Muriel barks a confused and impressed chuckle, shaking his head as he wraps his arm around your waist pulling you partly into his cloak. “... You….. Always keeping me on my toes…”

“I keep myself on my toes…” You snort, unsure what to do with this new information, other than laugh that is.

For the next few minutes, you both sit there in silence as you continue to eat your meal. Then a thought comes across your mind, making you giggle a bit. “What?” He asks after swallowing a mouth full.

“I just thought of something…. If I’m a phoenix… then why are my feet always so freakin’ cold?”

Muriel’s eyes open wide, then he throws his head back laughing so hard it makes his whole body shake. Unable to resist his infectious laugh, you join in. As soon as he gets a hold of himself he places his fish down and wraps both arms around your waist, pulls you into his lap and kisses your temple. “You’re a mess…. but I love you for it.” Nobody is really around, so you both enjoy being snuggled close in this cold southern air.

As much as you want to stay in the warm embrace of your sweet hermit, you both know you have to continue your search for Ava. Now getting desperate, you even start to search in between the tents to see if they are hiding there. “Ava!!!” You loudly whisper, sneaking around somewhere near Gilbert and Una’s large family tent. “....Aaaaaaavaaaa!...... Com’on, Ava!! We’re running out of—” As you turn around you nearly bump into a tall figure carrying a large bundle of furs in their arms. “WOOH! WOOPS!!!” The both of you jolt and shudder from the surprise and you make them drop all the fur to the ground. Your hands fly up feeling incredibly embarrassed as you backup instinctively, unsure who it is. “OOO!—S-SORRY!! Sorry!... sorry.. M-my fault!! Here let me help you with that!” You whimper, scrambling to the ground to collect them and brush off the dirt.

An all too familiar irritated tut makes you stop. Quickly glancing up towards their face, and you're greeted with tightly folded arms and a disgusted looking sneer. Your brow twitches slightly and a small bead of sweat forms on your temple under their piercing hateful gaze; you haven’t seen them since last night on the hillside... Oh great… just what I needed right now… “Oh!... H-Hey…. Shona…” She slowly blinks silently, and slightly flaring her nostrils, just beaming down at you. You didn’t notice till now, but you’ve made your way back around to her and Ava’s tent. You nervously smile and sheepishly hand her back the furs and she snatches them back, grumbling under her breath without the slightest hint of a ‘thank you’.—No surprise there. Technically it was partly your fault.

For the first time, you see that the entrance of their tent is wide open, her hands are too full, so she couldn’t shut it back immediately. Your eyes naturally follow her as she places the furs down near a half finished light colored parka pinned to a mannequin standing on a wooden tripod. It was very dainty looking, but it was obvious the work is very well done. Intrigued, you pop your head inside the tent a little more and you see furs, leather, beads, tassels, and other material litter half of the tent. Weapons, spears, bows and arrows litter the other half and there are two small dividers on opposite sides that appear to be sleeping quarters. Easy to tell which side is who’s. Shona then dashes back out, jerking the tent entrance shut, and folds her arms once with her very sour expression. Feeling a bit awkward, you rub the ball of your right foot into the cold dirt, curiosity got the best of you. “Th—that parka is really pretty… Did you make it?” You mutter attempting to diffuse some of the tension, but it doesn’t seem to help.

Shona gives nothing but cold silence. It’s evident that she still despises you and is clearly hinting that she wants you to leave. You almost do just that, but then a thought occurred that she is bound to know exactly where her twin is. You swallow hard and muster up the courage to finally ask. “... So… ah…. Ha-have you seen Ava around lately?? I'm looking for them.” She continues to stand there in front of her tent silent, then shifts her weight to her left hip, and raises an eyebrow harshly judging once again. Holy shit woman. If looks could fuckin’ kill… You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh heavily, just about fed up with this hateful attitude of hers. “Mmmmkay—... Look, I need to find them. It’s really important that I do. Have you seen them?” She exhales hard through her nose, seeming determined to just to stand there and not tell you a thing. You soften your face and stare up at her now pleading. “Please, Shona…. It’s about something that is important to them.” At last, she huffs, rolls her eyes, reluctantly pointing you towards the stalls where the animals are held on the other side of camp. Finally!!! Thankful, your shoulders relax slightly feeling relieved you smile kindly to her but she just scowls harder. “Thank you, Shona.”

Tuning your heels around, you start to hurry off in that direction, but she opens her mouth. “....You know…” Her words stop you dead in your tracks, she speaks very softly, but has a particularly sour tone to it, and you whip your head back around to meet her green eyes. “...Last night didn’t mean anything, NewComer. You’re just more of a decent magician than expected.” She pauses and a small malicious smirk twitches up in the corners of her mouth as she takes a few steps closer towards you. “... You may have been able to cast your aura… you may be able to speak the language of old… hell, you may even marry my cousin that you don’t deserve…” Your fist clenches up tightly as she leans her head down almost to your level looking very sadistically, making her long braid fall down off her shoulder, and it swings side-to-side as she mutters just above a whisper. “.... But will never be one of us.”

You press your lips together tightly as you focus on slowing your now shaky breathing as rage and anger starts to burn inside of your chest. You then take a few steps back before your temper gets the best of you. You know that she is just dumping all her built up resentment and anger on you. But that was unnecessarily cruel… You hate to admit it, but that one hurt… a lot. You haven't belonged with anywhere except your friends in a long time. You don’t even remember belonging to anything else... family is forien to you. And you have been fine with that. You didn’t care. But then again, being here with the Kokhuri, you started to feel a strange familiar sense of family you’ve secretly longed for. But once you get comfortable again, Shona seems to always be there to keep gracing you with rude reminders of how that isn’t really true.

It’s frustrating that you must hold back what you really want to say to her, but you slowly start to walk backwards away. Her loathing smirk just grows even wider. You turn yourself around sluggishly to walk away, but your feet suddenly stop. Part of you wants to tell her off so badly, but you know that will push her in the other direction even more. Strangely, you still just want to be her friend. You want her to know you mean no harm. You're not a bad person. You don’t want her to be threatened by you. But… this was a cold hearted attack. She’s just… so fucking mean. Your mouth opens before you can stop yourself feeling your heart beat increase behind your sternum. “Hey, Shona…” Turning back around to face them once again, they glare back at you, clearly feeling very victorious, seeming to be awaiting some kind of vicious retaliation. But that's what she wants…. She wants you to prove her right.

Taking a moment to collect your thoughts together, pause and nod to yourself. Impatiently, she shakes her head and shrugs wanting to know what you have to say. “Well??.... What?? I don’t have all day….”

You take in another deep breath to calm yourself, clear away your emotions, and think about the root of all of this. You unwind your fist and drop your tight clenched shoulders and calmly speak in a very empathetic tone. “I know you are in a lot of pain… and you have the right to be angry about it.” Shona shudders and her smirk falls into a low tight frown. She was not expecting that, at least now you’ve got her attention. “… But just because someone else really hurt you… doesn’t give you the right to constantly try to hurt me.” Her eyes are wide, and just seemingly stunned by your statement. As you turn away to trundle off, you utter one last sentence. “... Just…. think about that one for awhile… Will ya?” And refuse to look back.

As you pass another tent you veer in front of it to clear your head before continuing towards the stables. Her words cut like a damn knife. But you have to keep going. Many tonight she’ll see…But I doubt tat she will ever stop hating me though.

Once you get a hold of yourself you start to make you way over to where the animals are held. Low and behold, there is Ava, hiding themselves behind the horse’s pin sitting on the ground with two fluffy ox calves curled up next to them, petting their heads as they are fast asleep.

Relieved you sigh, “There you are!” They start at the sound of your voice, quickly standing to their feet, they don’t seem to be happy that you're here. Wait… were they hiding from me?? Shaking the thought way, you wave them to follow you, hoping that isn’t the case. “...C'mon! Lets go talk to your dad. It’s getting late.” As you turn to start to travel in that direction, but they tug your cloak and pull you back. When you glance back at them, they shake their head widely, but slowly. They look so terrified . “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to do this?” Ava stares down at the ground and shrugs and your hands instinctively hold your hips. “So you were hiding from me, huh, Ava??” A small bead of sweat foams on their forehead and they scratch the back of their head, still avoiding your eyes. “... Are you getting cold feet?”

Sheepishly they nod, looking ashamed and they start to move their hands slowly. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea. Everyone is going to watch this.”

“I thought that was the point.”

They sigh hard. “Maybe next year… This is just too much right now.”

Frustration starts to recharge your depleted energy and your blood starts to lightly boil. Brow furrowed, nostrils flared. I have been looking for their ass for almost two hours, been insulted by their sister, blue-balled my fiancé—again—and they are telling me they are getting cold feet NOW?! Suddenly your arms move without a second thought. Ava jolts as you grab their face with both hands, squishing their cheeks together, their face low looking like a fish, and pull their head down to your level. “AVA. Listen. To. Me….” Ava is now completely rigid and unsure what to do, but they don’t pull away, their face bright red as they are forced to look into your eyes and you inhale deeply and encouragement suddenly floods your mind. “You’ve been practicing this for the past week and a half! You have mastered the magic. You have mastered the story.” You nearly touch their forehead with yours, and feel the heat start to radiate off their face and they hold their breath. You may be too close for comfort, but you don’t care and you slightly shake them out of excitement. “You and I are going to talk to your father. You're going to show everyone what you can do. You are going to do amazing, and you are going to make your dreams a reality!!! AVA!! You. Can. Do. This!!!” Their cheeks become warm in your cool hands and they groan a little looking behind you. You whip yourself around, and see Keavy holding a bucket of feed, looking very confused at whatever she is looking at. Realizing how strange this all might look, you release Ava’s face, but grab their fur cloak so you don’t let them run off. “—Not what it looks like!!” You utter, sweat falling off your temple.

“Yeah… I know…” She says with an entertained looking grin on her face and shaking the feed bucket. The ox calves jump up with a little low moo and trot over towards Keavy’s direction. “... Shawn told me you two were up to something, ‘bout four days ago. Don’t know what it’s about, but I’m sure it's exciting if you gotta hide it from everyone, Ava~”

You can't help but smile proudly, “You have no idea!” But then realize you let go of Ava’s cloak and they have vanished. You whip yourself back to Keavy, “GAHH!! SHIT!!! Where’d they—?!”

She gives you a blank look, resting her weight on the wooden fence post and points in the direction of the hillside next to camp. “Looked like they were in a hurry…”

You hastily jump over the pen about to sprint in that direction, yelling their name. “AAV—OOOF!!” Then proceed to land face first into the dirt. Keavy first covers her mouth in concern, but once she sees that you're fine, and you spit and sputter out the dirt from your mouth, she stifles her laughter as you scramble to your feet, run and shout like a madwoman. “—AVA!!!!!”

Your eyes catch the top of their head as they walk quickly through the middle of camp. Ava pretends to not hear you as they start to pick up speed, but little did they know— You’re fast— almost as fast as Asra— and you nearly gain on them in no time. Now they start to run, trying their best to evade you, they nearly slam themselves into Muriel’s chest as he happens to come around the blind corner. They dash around him and he stands there awkwardly. Confused, Muriel then realizes who that just was and opens his mouth to shout their name, but before he can, you half shout, “AVAAAAA!!!!!”, dashing as fast as you can right past him and Inanna. “—YOU CAN’T RUN FROM YOUR DESTINY!!!!” Suddenly you screech to a halt, looking back to Muriel, and inhale a large gasp. “Muriel!!! MY LOVE!!! My sweet man!!!! Don’t ask why, but I need your muscles!!!!”

“What-? Are they running from you?—” You grab him by the wrist with both hands, cutting him off. Ava is trying to make a break for it towards the graveyard. If they manage to get there, you know that have lost them.

“SHUSH! I SAID I HAD NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!!!! JUST, CHARGE!!!” You war cry, getting a strange sense of déjà vu here.

Muriel sighs grumpily, but follows behind as you lead the charge. Ava starts to slow down, probably thinking they have just about given you the slip. But then turns around to see you with a ferocious feral look in your eyes. “AAAAVA!!!” You screech.

They gasp a loud startled muffled squeak, as you tackle them from behind and wrap all four limbs around their shoulders and torso and you grunt through your bearded teeth. “YOU CAN’T RID OF THIS WITCH THAT EASILY!!!! I’M LIKE A FREAKIN’ LEACH!!!!!” In just three quick shakes, they pry you off of their back, somehow not hurting you in the process. As they fling you off, you manage to land gracefully on your feet and you try to summon your magic. Unfortunately it still seems to be drained from casting your aura last night. Still you some way or any other manage to bring up some rope and tie it around their right leg. They try to make another run for it, but fall down to the ground.

They swiftly get to their feet and find Muriel barreling towards them like a mad bull, and they go on the defensive instinctively, arms up, palms open. He attempts to grab Ava’s waist to tackle them and pin them down. Before he can they snatch his wrist and it soon becomes a battle of strength. Muriel starts to grit his teeth and mumbles, “Why are you…. running away…. from Rhemi?? Isn’t…. this is what… you’ve always…… wanted to do???” Ava bares their teeth and growls like an irritated wild animal and lunges forwards and grabs his waist, forcing him backwards and knocking half the wind out of him. He gets his footing and slowly pushes and wrestles them back and they release his waist. Taking the opportunity, in one fast move, Muriel bear hugs them, forcing their upper arms to their sides, unable to use them effectively and he just lifts them off their feet. They dangle there, wriggling and squirming about and start to kick their feet around. At this point, poor Muriel has had enough of this crap. “You’ve been caught! So—just—HOLD… STILL!! I don’t want to hurt you!!!”

All three of you now take a breath and you huff and puff for air. Once you catch some of your breath and they stop protesting, you walk over to where Muriel is binding them tightly. “Ava! Stop fighting will ya? He’ll let you go if you stop trying to run!” They open and close their mouth furiously, seeming to want to tell you to go to hell. You sigh deeply and look into their eyes sincerely. “Ava.... If you don’t do this now, you never will….. You know that!... I know you do….”

They finally stop fighting for a few seconds and their face relaxes. A reluctant moan escapes their lungs and they calmly tap Muriel’s forearm with their hand, signaling to let them go. Muriel and you exchange one brief glance and you nod to him. Once they are released they don’t make anymore attempts to run away as they drop to sit on the cold ground covered in forget-me-nots, then lay down flat on their back and gazing into the partly cloudy sky. Finally they start to move their hands. “What if Papa says ‘no’?”

You squat down to their level feeling rather exhausted after all this running and tackling. “Then, he says ‘no’. He isn’t going to disown you.”

Ava their trunk back up and starts to move their hands a bit faster and more emotionally. “What if I just embarrass myself?!”

“You’re not going to embarrass yourself, Ava. Tell me one other person— other than me— than can do what you can do?? And if you mess up a part, or make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. Yes, these are trials. But no one knows what it's supposed to look like.”

Ava nods their head and blows an unconvinced raspberry out their mouth, draping their left arm lazily over their knee.

Muriel then kneels down and places his hand gently on their shoulder. “Ava… I’ve seen how it looks, just in a few days you’ve managed to make the story look great— You can understand what's going on without the verbal story….. Rhemi’s not trying to force anything on you. But running away isn’t the answer either. Running will just get easier while facing this head-on will get harder and harder..... besides... She isn’t going to stop... Trust me.”

Ava blows a piece of hair off of their face and nods to themself a bit. You tilt your head and tuck your loose side bangs behind your ear. “Ava, I know you're worried about a number of things.” You stand to your feet and offer your hand to them. “You will never know if you don’t try.” Finally they take your hand and you help pull them up to their feet. “You can do this, Ava.”

They give a small grin and look towards Muriel and start to move their hands. It takes you a moment, then you translate what they said. “They said, ‘... She has a weird way of motivating people. I never thought tackling would be one of them.’”

Muriel barks a short laugh. “You’re not the only person she’s tackled. Just be happy she did threaten you.”

Ava snorts, and speaks with her hands making you giggle a little. “They said, ‘I don’t find that surprising’.”

All three of you make your way up the hillside, very shocked that no one has noticed your rather loud hijinxs. You thank Muriel for his help, but then quickly have to make your way to Ava’s father. You’ve lost enough time as it is.

Luckily, Gilbert is found not far from his and Una’s tent, washing clothes with the younger children. Some of the older boys around fourteen to eight are helping while the other smaller ones play. He greets you two with his iconic large smile and jolly laugh. “Madainn mhath, Ava, Rhemi…. what can I do for you?”

Ava is stiff as a board and is pointedly staring at their feet, parolized by apprehension and fear. You decide to take pity on the poor thing and speak up. “Good morning… afternoon?... Whatever it is… Say… Gilbert?”

He stops washing for a moment, looking up at you from the ground, giving you his full attention. Quietly you lean closer and shield your mouth with your hand so no one else can hear. “Could we talk to you somewhere private, Gilbert?”

He blinks a few times, giving you a blank look, and darts from you to Ava with deepening suspension. He shrugs and places the wet sudsy clothes he was working on back into the water. “Ah… Sure. Alright then.” He stands to his feet and calls Shawn to take over for him. Shawn isn’t all that pleased getting roped into chores, but once he sees that it's the two of you he seems to not mind as much. While following behind Gilbert, you nearly have to drag Ava into the tent, they are so nervous. The worst part is telling him, and you know it. As you all enter the tent you pull the entrance closed while Gilbert and Ava sit near the fire. Gilbert stokes the fire and warms his wet hands and you take a seat next to Ava’s side. “So… what’s on the two of your minds, eh?” Gilbert asks, rolling down his sleeve.

Pure dead silence takes over the tent, building the tension even thicker as Ava refuses to look at either of your. You glance up at Ava, their face is beaming red and hot. Using your closest elbow, you nudge Ava’s side and they jump slightly, seeming to get them out of their stupor. They take a deep breath and start to move their hands slowly so you can understand. “... Papa… I want…. I want to help you with tonight’s story.”

Gilbert snorts, shaking his head confused. “...But…. you already help, my cub. You play the drum—”

Ava waves their hands cutting him off mid sentence. “No, no, no. I want to help… telling it.”

“Hmm?” Gilbert's eyes are incredibly wide and he holds his breath for a few seconds, completely taken off guard by this request. He then clears his throat unsure what to do or say, evident by him opening and closing his mouth a few times before spitting out actual words. “... Ava… I—…..How-.... I mean…. Please, don’t take this the wrong way, but….How else…. can you…?”

Mustering up all their courage, Ava answers him by summoning their dark blue shimmery magic in their hand. Two silhouettes then form taking the shape of a small child covered in a hood and a large fluffy wolf. With a flick of their opposite wrist, they sent the shadow puppets down off of their palm to the ground making them playfully chase one another. Despite the colors and size, the way Ava makes the puppets move and behave, it really looks like it’s two living creatures running around on the ground. Gilbert's face brightens, he leans down, his eyes fixed onto the shadowy figures completely fascinated and perplexed by the sight. He even reaches for the small child. His fingers faze right through their body, making them blurry, but it returns back to its shape immediately as his fingers move. “What…. What is this??”

You smile proudly at your student then offer the explanation. “Ava found me playing with their younger sibling on the hillside the second or third day we came here. I was showing off some of my illusion magic. This caught their eyes, and I taught them how to do it. They told me that this was like an old forgotten form of Master Speaking…”

“... The Master Illuminators.” He nods slowly to himself, his thoughts obviously racing, he covers his hands over his mouth, lost for words continuously mezzmerized by the shadow puppets movements. “.... So this is what we had forgotten for a hundred years?.... This is…so…. beautiful. You learned this just in a week, Ava?”

Ava’s cheeks start to turn pink, dropping their hand making the shadow puppets disappear into thin air. “If you think this is good, you should see the whole show!” You say giddily.

Gilbert's eyes finally look back up to the two of you, completely dumbfounded. “....There’s… There more??”

Ava sheepishly nods their head, rubbing their bicep with their opposite hand before they answer with their hands. “Been practicing.” Ava then gently places their hand on your closet shoulder, cheeks deeper red. “...Rhemi has been teaching me.”

A large grin washes over his face as he beams at Ava, he couldn't be more proud looking. “.... So… You are asking to start the trials, Ava?”

They swallow hard and take a deep inhale, nodding their head. “... But don’t tell anyone.”

Gilbert’s large smile falls, and is replaced with a confused frown. “What do you mean, ‘don’t tell anyone’?? Why not, my cub?? Your mother and Shona—”

Ava violently shakes their head protesting, staring at the ground before bringing their hands back up. “Just don’t tell them. Please. I don’t want anyone to know about it.”

Gilbert pushes out a long heavy exhale and rubs his temples, eventually he begrudgingly nods in agreement. “Alright, my cub… I don’t understand why. Everyone will find out by tonight—But you need to find someone to cover the drums!”

Ava nods sharply and excitedly and a wry smile widely. But then tears overwhelm their eyes and they quickly try to brush them away. This sudden emotion shocks both you and Gilbert. “Sorry, Papa—Rhemi…. I’m fine.” They say quickly with their left hand while trying to wipe the tears with the other.

Fatherly concern kicks in, and Gilbert scoots forwards on his knees closer to Ava. He pulls his child into his arms looking very worried, but they are reluctant to accept it. “What’s this?? Aren’t you happy, cub??”

They nod, and pull away enough so they can communicate and start to very emotionally move their hands. You almost don’t catch all of it because of the speed. “I am happy, Papa.... But I’m scared too.”

Gilbert looked at his child with such concern. “Why are you scared? My Ava is never scared!!”

Ava sniffles, not really wanting to answer, but they know they need to. “... I don’t want to be a disappointment again.”

“...What??” Gilbert’s face looks as if his heart just broke into pieces. “... When have I ever told you that you were a disappointment, Ava??”

They choke on their tears slightly, unable to look him in the eye. “You didn’t say it. No one has…. I felt like I was… Ever since I lost my voice….”

Gilbert pauses for a moment, but utterly appalled at the thought. “Why… why in the world would you think that??”

Ava does their very best to keep their composure, and their eyes meet with his. “....Because… I couldn’t be like you.”

Gilbert's heart is now completely broken. “Oh my cub… My poor sweet young cub….” A wave of sadness overwhelms him as tears pool in his eyes, lips pressing together tightly, he shakes his head slowly looking deeply into Ava’s eyes. Gently he cups his child’s face in his large palms, wipes their tears with his thumbs as they continue to roll down their cheeks, softly and comfortingly he speaks to them softly in Rune. “Ava… I have never been disappointed in you. I could care less that you couldn’t be like me! … You being here alive is alway enough for me…. I thought…. I thought I was going to lose one of my children that day…” Pressing his forehead against Ava’s, he pets their head with one hand as they start to sob. They lean into his palm on their cheek, accepting his comfort. “I.... I was just so hurt to see you and your sister so unhappy. My first born cubs were broken that day. It hurt to see my children feel like they had no purpose in life anymore…” Shakiness in his voice, he pauses for a moment to collect himself before tears take over. “...I am so sorry you believed that, Ava… Momma and I never wanted you to feel this way, cub. I’m so sorry.”

Ava pulls away and has a soft smile on their lips, looking so relieved to hear those words. They slowly move their hands. “...It wasn’t your fault, Papa. I never told you how I felt… I don’t think I knew I felt that way until recently.” The expressions on their face are so heartfelt, you can’t help but feel your heartstrings being pulled.

Gilbert holds Ava’s face again, pride gleaming in his eyes as he smiles at them and sniffles with them. “Ahhh! But look at you now! Your eyes are bright and full of life again! Figured something was going on—And I see it’s because you're doing what you want to do!! You amaze me every single day. I am so proud of you. Not for wanting to be like your old man, but for being who you are.”

Ava nods their head, red reaming their eyes, they throw their arms around his neck and they hug each other tightly and weep together. They both have seemed to have forgotten that you’re still there, but you don’t care. You can’t help but feel emotional too witnessing and you hide your tears too. You feel so proud of Ava. This had been bothering them for such a long time. This was an important moment for the two of them. It’s no secret that these two are very close. Despite the size of Gilbert’s family, he and Una are close to all their children, you don’t quite know how they manage it.

After a while, Ava and Gilbert pull themselves together, straighten themselves up, and wipe the tear away. Gilbert snorts inspecting the tears on top of his hand. “Oi—Airson gaol na Athair Mhòir!! I have a feeling this is going to be a ‘soggy’ day, isn’t it??” And the three of your spiral into collected laughter. It’s true. There have been a lot of emotion and tears just in the past sixteen or hours. There is bound to be more.

While you were next to Gilbert, you decided to give him your journal so he could read over. Ava helped here and there during your down time when teaching, but Gilbert has the last say on the matter. You don't plan on publishing it or anything, but it would be nice to have for some of the children who no longer live here in the Steppe. As all three of you stand to your feet Gilbert tucks the journal carefully into a satchel on his side. “Now. I promise I won’t tell anyone, but you're going to have to explain that to your sister. And she’s been in a rather fowl mood lately!”

Ava sighs deeply and rolls their eyes. “Trust me. I know.”

Gilbert huffs a small jolly chuckle and then pats Ava on their shoulder. “Oh! She’s been cross with you too, has she??” Ava nods slowly looking slightly guilty and Gilbert nods to the entrance of the tent. “Go on, cub. Get plenty of rest before tonight. I know you were up for patrol this morning right after the celebration. Shona said that you haven't been back to bed. You must be tired.”

You quickly grab their arm and whip them around to face you.“You haven't slept since this yesterday?!” As they turn to face you, you notice the bags under their eyes and look at them scoldingly. “AVA!! That isn’t good!”

They shrug and sneer looking embarrassed. “I was too worked up to get rest!!! My thoughts kept me away!”

You smack their thick muscly arm with a growl. “That’s still not good for you!!!!”

Red takes over their face and ears making Gilbert burst into laughter again. “We better find you one like this one!”

Ava Lets out a muffled embarrassed moan. “PAPA, STOP IT! Your embarrassing me!!”

—————————————

The rest of the afternoon flew by, before you know it, it’s dinner time. Muriel and you keep Ava company tonight before the story. Shona looked to be very upset by this, but she’ll get over it after tonight…. or so you hope…

Ava thankfully got some sleep and looked much more rested. But they still looked so jittery, they barely ate. Muriel and you look to each other, concerned. “Ava, you alright?” He asks, placing his hand on their shoulder.

Ava exhales hard, then nods with a wry grin. “Here.” He hands them the flatbread. “You need to eat.”

Ava shakes their hand, not very interested in food. But you chime in quickly. “NO! Take it! You need something in your stomach. Bread is light, but it will at least hold you over. You don’t need to pass out up there!”

With a huff they take it and give Muriel a knowing look, making him snort. “Yes… She’s always like this. Little mother hen.”

“Pffft! Like you are one to talk!” You grumble under your breath making Ava chuckle at your little bantering.

After a while, it was time for Ava and Gilbert to get ready. You can tell, they were still really nervous, but they had determination as well. Everyone proceeded to gather around the fire, like they did every night, making an aisle in the middle. Tonight, instead of the back where Muriel and you usually sit, Muriel recommends that the two of you sit up in front to give Ava some moral support if needed. You feel proud of him being willing to be there for them. Muriel sits on the outside opposite of the aisle to make sure the younger kids and shorter people can see.

The time has at last come and all the Kokhurian’s erupt in cheers and chants “Master Speaker” in Rune. Gilbert enters the tent with his embroidered shawl over his shoulders, his headpiece with elk antlers on top of his head, and grey face paint over his eyelids. The crowd hushes instantly as he throws up his hand like they normally do. He draws in a deep breath and you even catch as he gives Una a small wink before he starts to speak. “As the Celebration draws to an end, I must thank you all for coming once again. I know the journey to the Shining Steppe can be long, sometimes treacherous. But it is all worth it in the end to see all your wonderful faces and to shield some light during these dark nights.…… This gathering was a particularly special year for all of us. Was it not?!” The crowd happily cheers, claps, and trills in agreement with him. “... Not only did we have one of our own return to us… Our fallen heroes Artturi and Glenna’s cub, Muriel.” Gilbert gestures towards him, making him sink down into his cloak as joyful proud eyes fall on him, and you take his hand and smile brightly, making him relax a little as Gilbert continues to speak. “... But we had an excellent Midnight Celebration!! We have honored Kok’s spirit with wonderful casts! Such love and pure soulful auras that was shared last night on the hillside..” Eyes now fall on both of you suddenly; you slightly blanch and shrink into yourself too but a few people reach their arms over and pat your’s and Muriel’s back and shoulder. “....But that is not all that is special this year!!” The crowd now turn their eyes back to Gilbert, looking rather perplexed, eager for him to answer after his dramatic pause. “... This year, I have a new person to help tell the stories of old...” Gasps and whispers ring throughout the crowd. Anxiously you wait for Ava’s introduction. Gilbert raises his hand towards the tent’s entrance with a wide proud, jolly, smile. “... They began their trials tonight for a lost artform of Illuminator. I am proud to present to you…..” Every single head whips around to the back of the tent, eager to see the face of the new apprentice. Ava steps forwards and starts to walk down the aisle and shocked sharp gasps erupt from almost everyone’s mouth, some talk among themselves. “... My own child.... one of my oldest cubs, Ava.”

You can’t help but feel incredibly giddy inside and to try and contain your excitement. They look so dashing!! Keeping their scarf around their neck, their fur cloak is replaced with a smaller shawl, similar to Gilbert’s. They also have a small wreath-like crown made up of herbs and grass on top of their head, and gray paint also on their eyelids and partly on their bottom lip, and runs down their chin. You catch a glimpse of Una, Keavy, Shawn and Shona’s faces, all with such very mixed emotions. Shawn's eyes are bright and full of excitement, Keavy and Una are clasping their mouths in utter shock. But Shona, she looks like she can’t believe her eyes. Such sorrow and turmoil in her face. Una looks at all her older children and whispers, “Did any of you know about this?” All shake their head vigorously, but Shona can’t take her eyes off Ava as they walk down the center aisle. Ida pats Shona’s leg and they seem to snap out of their trace and she shakes her head as well.

Gilbert brings up his hand once more, making the crowd hush once again as Ava stands next to him and he switches to Rune. “... Fellow Elders. Ava wishes to present tonight’s story with me. We humbly ask for your approval.”

With a nod Gilbert cues Ava to take center stage. Expecting them to look terrified, you are happy to find that they look rather calm and confident as they place their hand right over their heart and give a shallow bow. There is a slight pause, but then Una starts to a very slow beat with her hand on the top of her thigh. Soon other elders fall into the steady beat making Ava smile, the more people start to drum, the wider their smile. You can only guess that this was some kind of approval for them to go on. Soon everyone starts to drum and clap in unison, young and old. And they quickly glance at you and Muriel. You give them a small thumbs up with a large stupid smile, and Muriel grins reassuringly.

Gilbert brings up his hand once more, mirroring Ava’s humble wide smile and the tent is quiet once again. “..... Ava has told me to ask that you should all prepare yourselves. This form of storytelling has not been seen for over a hundred years.”

Before they both start, Gilbert whispers to them. “Ya’ ready, cub?” Ava takes in a deep breath, then looks to Shona. She obviously has no idea what's going on, but despite herself, she gives her twin sister a small forced smile. She seems apprehensive, but it must feel good to see Ava in that costume up there with their father.

Shona’s smile seems to give Ava the last bit of confidence that they needed and they finally nod sharply to their father, determination in their eyes. As Gilbert takes his spot they move towards the side and conjure their magic. Ava lowers the light of the fire behind them so that everyone can see what was happening.

As soon as the light dims, Ava casts the shadow puppets, but they do this on a completely different level than you ever can. The large tent becomes filled with the dark blue shimmery illusions, an atmospheric haze, and even smoky wisps. Soft gasps utter from the crowd, some children are frightened at first. But as soon as Gilbert starts to speak, they refocus on the story, mesmerized but the visuals.

“...Before there was the Steppe. Before there were seas dividing lands. Before creatures roamed Mother Earth. Before there was even time itself….. there were two beings that existed through space....” Ava blows on their palm and creates a small layer of smoke as their father continues. Making two human-like figures. But they looked fluid, flexible and morph their shapes. “...Here, there live two celestial beings, named Earth and Sky. The two would dance, make love, and travel through all the different realms and cosmos together, and they loved each internally…..

Earth was timid and quiet, yet very strong, sturdy, and often stubborn. When she was tested, she would quake and tremble terribly, and reminded others that she was not to be trifled with…

Sky was very patient and flexible, but also could turn at the slightest moment into a raging storm, unleashing his thunder and lightning. His moods are ever changing from dark to light.

…. One day Earth and Sky had a child together, a large bright star named Berko. They could not believe how much their love could grow as their child came into light. But as Berko grew brighter and hot, he became impatient and fiery. As he became old enough to go off by himself, he would often leave his parents behind. And shoot off alone though the cosmos, never giving much thought to his parent’s lessons. For he was much faster than Earth and Sky, and he became arrogant and believed that he knew more than the two ancient beings. One day he set out on a quest and seemed to be looking for something. When his parents asked what it was for, he would say, “It’s none of your concern!”, and shot off.

Mother Earth and Father Sky were saddened by their son’s arrogance. They had only showered him with love, affection, and tried to teach him well. But it is to be expected of such a young being. “One day. He will see, Mother.” Said Father Sky to his wife as she wept, fearing for the safety of her son.”

Berko traveled far and wide, exploring across many realms and met many strange beings. He even traveled through the abyss, a place even his parents never dared to enter. Berko was chased after by the monsters that dwell in the shadow, but he thought it was all fun and games. They hated the light he shed from his body and it even hurt their eyes. They loathed the ignorant start for his actions and swore revenge. But he did not care, nor was he afraid. “I’m too fast for those monsters anyway.”, he’s gloat. Feeling invincible, he laughed in the monster's face. He had many adventures, but still felt almost empty inside. Like something was missing. This feeling grew and grew and Berko started to feel sad and lonely, unsure what this feeling was or how to stop it. One day he met a slow and patient comet. Berko finally stopped shooting across the cosmos and gazed at her icy beauty. In that moment he had no need to search anymore, for he found his one true love, a love that he wanted like his parents had. They were complete opposites, but their attraction was unstoppable.

The two soon wed. Happy to see their son finally happy, Earth and Sky welcomed Comet. But Berko’s Mother and Father warned them. “If you two are to produce children, I fear that they will not be immortal. They will not be able to fly like we do. Nothing would keep themselves from falling into the dark abyss where terrible monsters hide. For fire and ice did not mix well.” Mother Earth said to her only child.

But once again, Berko did not care and ignored his parent’s advice, for he and Comet were young and madly in love. “We do not need your warnings, we do not need your help. I am not afraid of the monsters that lie in the dark abyss.” Said Berko as he and Comet held hands and flew off into the different realms, leaving behind Mother Earth and Father Sky...”

Gilbert does his best to not be distracted by the gorgeous shadow puppets that Ava is making. It’s clear that he is fighting back so many emotions right now and pauses for a few seconds. Ava glances back at him, and he shakes his head and presses on like the true story teller he is.

“... Soon the Berko and Comet bore a child. Wee babe made the two celestial beings so very happy, and strengthened their love for one another. Berko started to understand what his parents meant in their lessons. “Perhaps they do understand more than I had thought.” Pondered Berko.

However the joy soon fell, it eventually became clear, like Mother Earth and Father Sky had warned, the child was mortal, had skin hair and fur over their bodies, and was unable to fly Berko and Comet. Comet constantly had to hold in her arms and she was determined to never let them go.

But unfortunately, the child grew and grew and got heavier and heavier with each passing moment. Eventually, Comet became so fatigued from carrying the child in her arms. The child was also tired of being held. They became irritated, restless, wiggled and kicked. Comet did her very best, but it wasn’t enough. She was unable to keep the child in her arms, and they fell down into the abyss. Berko and Comet dived down to catch their baby, but sadly, they were quickly gobbled up by monsters that were hiding in the darkness. Berko pulled his wife from the darkness in fear of both of their lives. The monsters showed their faces from out of the shadows, smirking evilly, very pleased that they finally got their revenge. Berko had all but forgotten his terrible actions, and pleaded with monsters to return his child. But laughed at his face, slithering and slinking away… Never to be seen again…

.... Berko and Comet were so devastated that they lost their first child. Heartbroken, lost, and terrified, the two sought help from Berko’s parents, Mother Earth and Father Sky. Berko feared that he would be rejected, the way he treated them was awful. Comet and he were so arrogant as to not heed his parents' warning. He felt like he did not deserve their love. But Mother Earth and Father Sky welcomed them both with open arms. They loved him, despite his foolishness. They too were so very heartbroken about the loss of the wee babe, this was their son’s first child. Berko and Comet became fearful and cried, for they were expecting another child. They too would be mortal and unable to fly forever.

Mother Earth and Father Sky then pondered on this dilemma. None of them could not bear to have another child lost to the abyss. Mother Earth then said to Comet and Berko, “Once the child comes, I will hold them.” She inhaled deeply and became a large sphere. “... This way, I am much bigger than your arms. I can hold thousands of children. They can even eat my plants that grow on my body. They will be safe here.”

Unconvinced, Comet shakes her head. “Yes, you are much larger and stronger than I. But what if they jump or wiggle free? You can not hold them down, Great Mother. For you will have no arms in this form.”

“But I can,” interjected Father Sky, as he became transparent and airy, covering all of his wife. “... I will wrap myself around Mother. I will hold them down. My eyes will even keep watch over them. Keep them safe.”

Berko was shocked at his parents' willingness to sacrifice so much just to help the young couple and his children. The gesture was too great and protested, consumed with such powerful guilt. “... But if you hold down our children, you both will have to stay in this realm forever. You will not be able to travel ever again.”

Father Sky hugged his son, tightly with a large smile. “Mother and I would trade our immortality for you and these children, Berko. That is what it is to be a parent.”

Comet then started to sob uncontrollably, “....But if… if we give you our children, we will not get to see them all the time…. I so wanted to watch them grow.” All four were quiet for a moment. This was true, Berko and Comet would not be able to see them and they’re lives will also be very short…. But there was no other solution. The children would perish without Mother Earth and Father Sky.

With a heavy heart, Berko and Comet eventually agreed that Great Mother Earth and Great Father Sky would take the children on as their own. Soon the day came, Berko and Comet bore twins and named them, Ainmhidh and Daonna.

Comet left them on Mother’s surface, breaking her heart, and she continued to weep for her children. In doing so, she created various bodies of water. From vast oceans, and seas, to fast moving rivers, and even small trickling streams. She cried so much, half her body was melted in the process, and water covered much of Mother Earth's body. Unknowingly in return, Comet provided nourishment for the children. They will always live through her and they will always be a part of one another.

Berko shattered himself into billions of stars to help brighten Father Sky’s body, so the children had something to look at during the night. Giving them guidance and light. Something they can look up to in wonder.

To this day, you can still see Comet and Berko. They still come and visit, you see. However, they cannot stop moving, if they will burn out they will die. Comet will sluggishly float over Father Sky’s body, leaving a trail of icy tears behind her, reluctant to leave. Berko will shoot across the horizon with his thousands of pieces at night, catching glimpses of his legacy live on in the care of Mother Earth and Father Sky.

Remember what our Great Mother and Father sacrificed for his child sake; And Remember children, what your parents would sacrifice for your future… Heed your parent’s warnings.”

Suddenly as the story ends, Ava rushes all the illusions and smoke back into the palms of their hands and they disappear. With an exhale, the fire brightens back up, filling the tent with bright light once more. The music stops, and the tent is stunned silent. Ava scans the crowd, awaiting for someone to say something, starting to become nervous.

Finally, a elder woman's voice in the back cries, “Aontaich an Soillsichear!!”, (Approve the Illuminator). As you glance back, you see that it was the elderly woman that serves the Kokhurian ale every night at dinner time. She has tears in her eyes but a large smile dances on her lips. Then another voice repeats that, then another one, then another until the entire tent fills with the same chant and people cheering on.

Ava's smile is so happy and wide, showing nearly all their teeth, and they fall to their knees, losing all of their composure. Gilbert covers his mouth with his hand and tries to hold back his tears, but is unable to control all this emotion. Pull Ava back to their feet, he wraps his arms around them and they return the embrace. Ava starts to softy sob. As they let go, they quickly straighten back up for one last moment as they both bow together and the crowd goes wild. Una, Keavy and Shawn are all crying together. Shona quickly dashes to the front, wrapping her arms around Ava, nearly knocking them over. Overcome with joy and sorrow, Shona and Ava just sob together. Shona lets go of her sister’s body, sweetly cups their face and presses her forehead to theirs as Ava holds her elbows, the gray paint running down their cheek from their eyes.

You even Muriel’s arms wrap around you and press a quick kiss on the top of your head. As you glance up, you see his eyes fighting back the tears. He was proud of Ava too. Proud of what a difference the two of you made for his cousin. it wouldn't have been possible without his help. He hadn’t known them for very long, but somehow they formed a bond. You both had.

Ava pulls out of Shona’s arms then rushes over to you and pulls you to your feet, you glance at Muriel unsure what is happening as they drag you to the front. “Wait—! What?! GAH!!” Both Gilbert and Ava lift you up off your feet by your arms and Gilbert announces, “Ava wants everyone to know… ‘This would have not been possible without this little NewComer!’.” Your body feels suddenly feverish and you just want to hide under a rock. This is too much attention. Gilbert laughter fills the tent. “Who knew that it takes being friends with my Ava is to beat them at Brùth Carachd!!” Everyone starts to burst into laughter and cheers and they finally bring you back to your feet, your face is very blanched by all this attention once again. But as you look over to Muriel he stands with the others, cheering and clapping for you too. Ava arm’s embrace your torso and their biggest hug, lifting you off your feet. Soon Una, Shawn and Keavy even joins this hug. Una even kisses your burning hot cheek.

Shona is just standing apart completely confused at all of this. Ava finally puts you back down once they realize Shona and look sheepish once again. Ida then jumps on Ava giggling and so happy for their sibling. “Ava! You’ve gotta show me how to do that!!!” She says cutely giggling and Ava is pulled away by a few enthusiastic elders, leaving you and Shona alone. In your peripheral, you can see Muriel as he becomes uneasy with her just standing there, unsure what she will do or say and he tries to gently push his way through the crowd to your rescue. Shona darts between you and Ava as she is being paraded around by Ronin, Gilbert, and Shawn singing a very merry tune once again. She shakes her head in disbelief, her eyes glassy and red from the tears. “So… so this—this… This is what you’ve two been doing together?.... You were teaching Ava… magic??” You take a step back feeling a bit uncomfortable under her piercing gaze and glancing frequently to Muriel who is still pushing through.

You still feel very tense being around her, but it does feel good for her to know the truth. “Y-...Yes. This is what I wanted to tell you before. But Ava asked me not to.”

“But, why??” Shona snaps furrowing her brow.

Preparing yourself for them to yell at you, stiffening your shoulder and hands. You swallow hard and answer. “... They were afraid of letting people down. Especially you. So we stayed quiet about it.” Shona’s eyes flutter and her lip starts to tremble and you can’t help but feel empathetic. “I—I am sorry if you’re hurt. But—You can think of it as a surprise in a way—”

Once again, you feel your lungs become breathless as arms are suddenly thrown over your shoulders. You must be dreaming. This… this isn’t happening…. You turn your head and see a dark head of hair braided long with a pink ribbon and earring tassels tickle your nose and neck. You can feel her tear drops as they pepper your neck. Shona. The person who claimed to hate your guts, is hugging you right now and has no signs of letting go.

Warm tears trickle down her face and pepper your neck. “You… you gave my Ava back their voice…”

To be continued….

FINALLY! This chapter was a bitch and a half let me tell you. We al almost done! just a few more chapters away!! YAY!!! =D

I hope you guys enjoy my hot trash! You all make it worth it! I love you all!!

#the arcana #the arcana game #muriel #muriel fanfic #journey back to the south #madllamamomma #rhemi the apprentice #muriel x mc #muriel x oc #muriel x rhemi #swf #ao3 #my hot trash #for my hungry trash pandas #part 9~

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