#truest moment of why do i love him in the entire game.

[vigilskeep]

few things more dear to me than that one bit in the arlathan elgar’nan quest where you have to fight off like three separate rounds of venatori while five (5) of your teammates try and fail to use their collective geniuses and magical powers to open one (1) gate.

it’s important to remember when you’re writing the veilguard squad that they’re both very competent and collectively really stupid. a balance has to be achieved

[crystallizsch]

despite twst being a "villain" game

i love it when i see how certain characters speak to certain people. like how people just relate to their struggles/personalities/etc.

there’s riddle coming to terms that not everything has to be perfect, unlearning from what he has been taught growing up that not everything has to be followed to the letter;

ace who is gungho and earnest about what he believes in and has the natural inclination to defend those he grows to genuinely care about;

deuce always striving to improve himself despite setbacks and being aware of his own shortcomings;

leona who acts like he’s given up from being cast aside his entire life and coming to terms to the fact that there are people that do look to him as a leader, as someone who’s worth something;

floyd who unapologetically just does what he wants, choosing to do things that interests him at the moment;

kalim choosing to be happy and kind always, living life everyday to the fullest knowing what he’s gone through;

jamil with the expectations and obligations to essentially "perform" and do things for others more than for himself, especially when he has the potential to shine by himself with his own abilities;

vil rejecting gender norms and restrictions, while still being confident in his own masculinity, and also wanting other people to bring out their best and truest potential even though he may be strict about it;

rook being able to pick out so meticulously the beauty in everything and everyone whenever no one else is able to;

idia with his introverted yet very passionate energy towards things he cares about;

silver with his love and dedication for those he considers his family;

malleus with his loneliness and bringing out his genuine self with someone he's able to consider a friend;

i know some of these sound pretty surface-level but these are the ones that just came to mind at the moment, these are not my full-on thoughts on each of them

my point overall is i just really love seeing when there’s a character that REALLY speaks to someone that doesn’t particularly speak to me because it gives me a whole new perspective on characters i initially didn’t care about or didn’t like and makes me appreciate them more

also it just shows how how these characters are different enough in that sense so that there are characters for everyone to love and relate to 🥺💕

i could gush more about relationship dynamics as well but this is getting long enough hfdsfjsljlks anyways i would love to see others’ own takes and why a particular character(s) relates to them or why they just like them in general 👉👈 i want to spread some good vibes 💖 but anyways idk these are just my thoughts 🤧

[multifandomfix]

What Is Honor Without Love — Simon Basset

Summary: You accompany Simon on a promenade and the two of you battle to understand your feelings for one another.

Word Count: 1,037

Warnings: None

A/N: Sequel to A Lady Of The Greatest Honor

It was the perfect weather for a promenade. Simon, as well as your mama playing the role of your chaperone, departed outdoors and for a short carriage ride to what was deemed the most beautiful place for a walk. Simon took your gloved hand as he helped you from the carriage. Your feet firmly on the ground, you looked to him in thanks, finding a smile on his face. You found yourself mirroring his expression as you glanced back at your mama who watched with barely concealed curiosity. Her gaze followed you as you took Simon’s arm, and she kept a respectable distance behind, allowing the two of you room to converse.

As you began your walk, the streets bustled with the usual activity, and a comfortable silence settled between you and the duke. It was a stark contrast to the usual cacophony of balls and other social gatherings. The gardens you were headed to offered a peaceful reprieve that allowed for reflection and conversation. Just what you needed.

The sound of your footsteps in the grass mingled with the distant chatter of nearby vendors and the laughter of children playing off in the distance. The calm atmosphere seemed to envelop you both, offering a sanctuary from the prying eyes and expectations of society.

“Do you often promenade, Simon,” you asked, breaking the silence. Your voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if you were afraid to shatter the tranquility of the moment.

“Not as frequently as I should, I suppose. Or as much as Lady Danbury might wish me to.” His statement was punctuated with a short laugh. “I am partial to the countryside,” he said after, his eyes scanning the horizon as if seeking something just beyond what was visible. “But there is a certain peace that these well manicured gardens provide that is almost as good.”

You nodded, understanding the allure of solitude. “I find the chance for a promenade quite agreeable. It offers a chance to escape, even if only for a moment.” Your mind wandered to the days spent traipsing through your own family’s estate, finding comfort in the quiet beauty of nature.

Simon looked at you with an analytical gaze. “Is that why you agreed to come today? To escape?” His question hung in the air, and you didn’t know quite how to reply.

Caught off guard by his directness, you hesitated. Finally, you settled on what seemed like the truest answer. “In part, perhaps. But also because I enjoy your company. Despite your reputation,” you added with a playful smile, attempting to lighten the mood.

Again he laughed, this time softly, and it was a sound that seemed to reverberate through the air. “I’m glad my company isn’t entirely intolerable.” There was a warmth in his tone that made your heart skip a beat.

The path ahead led to a more secluded part of the gardens, a hidden gem known only to a few. As you walked, you felt the pressure that the social season had placed upon you melting away, replaced by a growing sense of ease that you felt with Simon. The garden was a haven of tranquility, with vibrant flowers in full bloom and the gentle hum of bumblebees and honeybees alike flitting from blossom to blossom.

“Simon,” you began, your tone more serious, “why did you really seek me out yesterday? You could have had the company of any lady in the ton.” You stopped walking, turning to face him with genuine curiosity.

He paused, considering his response before committing to it. “I suppose I’ve grown weary of the games we play in society. With you, there’s a refreshing honesty. I don’t have to pretend.” His admission was a rare glimpse into the man behind the title and reputation, a vulnerability he seldom showed.

His words struck a chord within you. “I feel the same. It’s exhausting, always putting on a facade.” You sighed, the weight of societal expectations still heavy on your shoulders despite this otherwise blissful reprieve.

He stopped walking, turning to face you fully. “Then let’s not pretend anymore. Let’s be honest with each other.” His eyes held yours, a silent plea for sincerity. One that you hoped your expression was echoing back to him.

A breeze rustled the leaves around you, a gentle reminder of the world continuing on despite the weight of your conversation. You took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before you could second guess yourself. “I don’t know what this is, Simon, what we’re doing, but I know it’s different. And it frightens me.”

His expression softened, that rare vulnerability showing through again. “It disarms me as well. But I think it’s worth pursuing.” His hand reached out, gently brushing against yours in a silent gesture of reassurance.

The sincerity in his eyes was undeniable, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to truly consider the possibility of something more with him. You smiled, a genuine, unguarded smile. “Then let’s explore it. Together.” The words felt like a promise, a tentative step towards an uncertain future.

Simon’s smile mirrored yours, and in it was a promise of companionship and perhaps something deeper. As you continued your walk, the conversation resumed and flowed more easily, your previous uncertainties replaced by a tentative hope. You spoke of your dreams and fears, finding comfort in the shared honesty that so easily came between the two of you.

By the time Simon had returned you and your mama to your doorstep, the sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over the street. Simon bowed gracefully to you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Thank you for today,” he said simply, though you knew it meant more than mere pleasantry.

“Thank you,” you replied, your heart lighter than it had been in days. “For everything.” Simon had understood your meaning and his smile grew subtly warmer and wider.

As he walked away, you knew the promise of tomorrow hung in the air. He’d seen you for who you truly were, as you had begun to see him as he was, and for now, there seemed to be a delicate thread connecting your hearts. For what was mere honor without love, you wondered.

For @certifiedsuperduperdumbass

Forever Tag: @baubeautyandthegeek, @ghostsunderstoodmysoul, @immyowndefender, @valencethefriendlychangeling, @crimsonwidow666, @rebelbossheart, @thedailyspiritualist, @orangeisnttheonlyfruit, @woman-simp, @aperol-with-izzy, @leonoralessoem, @ellepossum69, @lakita-fisher, @nclgsticore, @analuw, @luvlesavyy, @malfoyfeed, @aliciabrower, @bitchr-mkay, @sparrowspixie, @imaginationismyworldlypleasure, @og-kxsh-420

Simon Basset: @retvenkos, @ladyrooster39, @riveranddoctorsong123, @idk1323611, @theamazingworldofcarol, @esposamultifandom, @littlsstuff, @danimorgan1708, @certifiedsuperduperdumbass, @freyathehuntress, @m-rae23, @floresferae, @ourlifeforchaos, @bigbluegiants, @edit-me-prettyplease, @hayleythecannibal, @foxherder, @astrogrande, @mayfieldss, @404-its-alr

[nicolesainz]

comfort of your arms (mm 19)

mason mount x f!reader

warnings: none, simply fluff

summary: there’s always a bad date, but the man you’ve been looking for is already here

My heels fall loudly on the floor as my bad touches the ground the same time. To say I’m not furious, would be a lie. What is going on with men and their sick minds?

Says me, who lives with a footballer and friend since forever. But Mason’s different. He’s not like all those boys I’ve been out with. He’s like an ‘apology’ for their existence, with him being such a sweetheart.

I slump on the couch, but before I could even react, Mason sits alongside me, with a worried look on his face, headset around his neck and controller on his one hand.

“What happened? You’re back early? How did it go?” A breath didn’t manage to escape my mouth when he begun bombarding me with questions.

“He was another weird and sick guy, who simply wanted a fuck, because as it seems, no girl wants to be around him” the guy literally started talking about his ex, as he was caressing my thigh . You could detect the desperation in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry this happened. You truly don’t deserve this. Did he do anything else? Please tell me he didn’t hurt you in any possible way or offend you!” Mason didn’t knew whether to touch me or not. Hug me or just caress my back. So he remained with his hands to himself.

“He tried to kiss me thrice and was always throwing every now and then sex jokes. Plus, he asked me about marriage.” The disgust in my face started to show and so did at Mason’s.

“If I was there, I would have punched the guy in the face. That’s not a way to behave with a lady. Y/N, I wish I was there to take you away from him. You must have felt very uncomfortable” poor Mason, was only trying to help and in the end I made him feel bad. This is why I avoid going out on dates.

Because then I fear that I may lose Mason.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? And I will surely never go out with that guy ever again. Thanks to my good luck, my second savior of the day, was Christian”

“Really? How come? Did he happen to be there or? And who’s the first one if you don’t mind me asking?”

“He happened to call me the third time the guy was about to kiss me. All poor Chris wanted was to ask whether we wanted to go by his house tomorrow and watch the game and I turned it into a whole scenery, with him ‘supposedly’ falling down the stairs” I say as i try to hold my laugh back, knowing it was a crazy moment and if Mason had seen the way I reacted, he would have laughed too.

“I need to thank him for that. Thank god for him.” He was relieved that one of his friends and teammates saved the day, even without knowing.

“As for my other savior, he’s sitting right in front of me and as it seems dropped his FIFA game to check on me. Also I’d like for him to give me a hug” I add with a small smile on my face and with my cheeks full on red.

“Of course I’d drop my game. You’re much more important that anything else. Come here” he motioned to come into his arms. It would be an understatement to say that a hug from Mason was the best place a person could be in the entire world.

“Thank you Mase. I am very lucky to have you in my life. Sometimes I think that you’ve been gifted to me, even though I don’t deserve it.” I turn my head to look him in his puppy brown eyes who had now softened and were focusing on me with such determination.

“You deserve the whole sky with its starts and planets in. And I should be the one saying to be lucky to have you in my life. You come to every game, cheer for me, even when we lose, you’re still there. You’re always next to me.” His hand caresses my cheek softly, putting away the hair that were on my face.

“I love you” I blurt out of nowhere, leaving both me and him in utter shock. I put my face on my hands and cover from the embarrassment.

What I said, was the truest thing I’ve ever said to a person in my life. I do love Mason. There’s not a moment that goes by that a thought big him doesn’t pop into my mind. Or that whenever we talk or hug, butterflies conquer my stomach and force me in a good way to be around him as much as possible. He fuels me and makes me wanna smile as much as possible.

“Y/N, can you look at me for a second, I need to tell you something” his voice had gone quiet but still was the same as before, clearly not mad and surely happy with what I’ve said.

“I love you to the moon and back. I’ve been wanting to say this since god knows how long! It takes everything in me not to say this every day, because I was scared you’d leave the house and consider me as one of the guys like today”

“You could never be like them, Mase. You’re unique and special. You make others feel special too, when they are around you. God, sometimes I think that you're too good for everyone" Mason had brought our faces to only mere inches apart, feeling his hot minty breath on my lips.

"I could say the same thing about you, darling. Although, I would very much prefer if I was the only man being around you, so I could be good only to you." His words had left me breathless and unable to respond to his incredible charm.

"Would you be willing to do that?" I manage to say, feeling as if I'm flying in between the clouds.

"I would be willing to help you touch the freaking stars, sweetheart." How can one not fall for a man like Mason?

"How do you always manage to do that, Mason?"

"Do what, love?"

"Lead my path back to you."

"You better follow it this time, cause I will be doing the exact same. All my paths had been leading to you"

[adracat]

G Witch 22 thoughts

Banger episode this week! I loved every single minute. My only gripe was that it felt far too short. A pox on these weekly waits. Future binge watchers don't know how good they have it

Very much enjoyed the doubling down on QZ's destructive power and complete supremacy. No matter how many weapons/ships you have it doesn't matter because Aerial can just override them. It's a good establisher of stakes.

Mio burrito spotted. She is looking so rough here. Completely unsurprising she won't acknowledge Guel though. He had no sway on her even on her best days. Sorry, my guy. You lack Suletta's magic touch. Only she can play the Mio whisperer now

DEMI BARDING!! Big fan of that chonky suit after Asticassia ep so glad it's getting more use. I don't even care that I'm being manipulated into buying another kit. Secilia is a real one, glad she sat her butt down so the world didn't implode

This was a nice moment and gave Suletta closure on 4lan. He was someone she cared for, no matter how brief. That revelation about her list being Prospera's idea was a bit of a shocker tbh. I just thought she constructed it from the media she watched/read. The truth is way worse lmao. I guess it was meant to acclimate her to the school and therefore the dueling games for Aerial? Little did Prospera know that Suletta's dork charm would snare the heart of Delling's daughter immediately.

This was sudden but a joy to watch. I suppose Guel was tired of being Mio's ineffective secretary lol. But in all seriousness, this was sweet of him to arrange a duel so the lovebirds could be reunited. You've become a solid bro, Guel. Hope nothing dire happens to you.

Btw, I fully expect some fanfic authors to leap on a fencing au now. Pretty please?

This entire scene was so Utena I couldn't believe it. Well, actually the entire episode was littered with Utena but still. The baring of their mistakes. The acceptance of their faults. GOD this was so amazing.

I love how far Suletta has come in her development. Such an excellent change of mindset from viewing her time at Asticassia as a mistake to fully believing meeting Miorine was a blessing. She's so confident in her feelings

THEY'RE SOMEDAY TOGETHERINGGGG I see you Okouchi, giving us rabid Utena fans the good shit. This show is such a great homage in so many ways but this episode takes the cake! (Bit concerned that Suletta didn't verbally promise anything, just smiled fondly. Perhaps wistfully?)

This gave me such an unpleasant jumpscare though. The deliberate framing with Mio's bare legs followed by catastrophic bedhead freaked me out. I could have done without the Anthy reminder, thank you. Made such a sweet moment feel a bit horrific. I envy those who are oblivious to what I'm talking about

But this was so very sweet. I was getting misty-eyed. These babies have been through so much yet the truest thing is their love for each other. Their relationship remains the emotional core. Side note: Mio why are you the size of a housecat? Just how small was Notrette even

I'm glad I was correct in my read that Earth House doesn't truly blame Mio for Earth, only her staunch refusal to seek help. This was a nice little moment as was her brief words to Delling. Sleeping beauty certainly took his sweet time. I do wonder what he makes of this chaos?

Guel's reservation about Suletta heading to QZ is understandable but as she says, it's her choice. And Mio won't let anyone else decide Suletta's fate as she did before. Her quick death glare at Guel was so funny. Mans can only slap himself into complaince. Even when not engaged to Mio, he still obeys like a loyal sidekick lmao

Didn't expect this quick Shaddiq convo. I like how he recognizes instantly that Mio is better because of Suletta. It's very in character for him to accept Suletta's importance in Mio's life without resentment. I am wondering at the deal Mio makes with him. What could he possibly do for her? Perhaps it's Earth-related

At first I thought this was the sweetest thing. I still think it's sweet, but I also find the phrasing incredibly... weird. Not 'I'll always love you?' 'Always be with you'? Instead 'I will always be attached to you'. Could be nothing but it still sounds vaguely ominous. And it's coded in the genetic sequence of her tomatoes all things. The hell were you doing Notrette? Nice nod to mythology here though. Anesidora is an epithet for Demeter, an agricultural goddess, and Pandora. And like Pandora, Notrette unwittingly released evil in the form of QZ and possibly collaborated with Prospera to upload Ericht's biometric signature.

Aww farmer wives on Earth please! Still don't like Suletta only smiles when Mio declares anything future related. I get the rudest feeling she's not making hard promises because she's too aware of the peril. They look so happy here, so imma ignore the danger signs and just bask in their affection.

Mio forcing aside her own fear to support Suletta was so good. She was so relieved when Suletta broke Permet 5 alive, bursting into tears afterward. It was rough for me to hear Suletta gasping in pain, so I can't imagine how Mio must've felt. I don't ever want to see people claim she doesn't love Suletta ever again

I have thoughts on Calibarn's design (Utena spoilers) and place in the plot, but for this review I'll just say it looks neat. I wish it was a bit more unique, but it makes sense they need it to resemble its sibling plus its obvious Vanadis roots. That boom broomstick is super cool though!

I enjoyed Prospera's muted reaction here. She's surprised by Calibarn but not intimidated or angry. I'm sure she has complete faith in Eri's ability to handle this hurdle and her daughter's commitment to the plan. She must know Eri loves Suletta, but assumes it ultimately won't change a thing. For now, at least.

You know, I expected Lauda to lose it but I didn't expect him to be this stupid lol. You can't even use the damn GUND format idiot, you really think you'll beat your brother? I can't believe I gave him even the slightest bit of credit. Easily the worst character in the show. I hope Guel crushes him (and he doesn't get Guel killed in the process)

Petra deserves better 2023!

Ah and Eri peeks her GUND ghost form out to say hello before clashing with Suletta. This is an incredible shot, love the visuals as always. If it goes full Utena as I suspect, we'll see Eri break/override Calibarn. The name of a holy sword bashing at the Gwitch Rose Gate doesn't bode well. What that means for Suletta is anyone's guess, but I have faith she'll live. I fully expect her to get assistance of some kind. After all, the show has been telling us all along that working together is far better than struggling alone!

[thecagedbirdsingsoffreedom]

I've been mulling over a conversation I had with a friend.

He wants things from me I don't think I can provide. Probably not anymore anyway.

I want to say it's not his fault but it slightly is?

I just can't give him what he wants.

It's literally against my nature what he's asking for.

Maybe I was very needy a long time ago, maybe he still has that idea of myself in his head? Sometimes I think he's still stuck on someone that isn't here anymore. Maybe he's still hoping for someone that just doesn't exist now?

I think by nature I no longer need someone.

Eh. Let me rephrase.

I think I don't need someone that isn't you.

I think it has to be you. It needs to be you specifically.

You're literally the only person in the world who always understood me at every moment in my life.

You knew me so well you worked me as you saw fit.

You knew exactly what to say and do just as I knew exactly the same.

My friend isn't going about it the same way. He isn't going about it the same way because he probably doesn't know, anyway.

He's very selfish by nature though. I think that makes him overlook a lot of things.

It's not a problem. Not really. He's not someone I expect more from in a romantic sense

He's my friend. My companion. He's a part of me, one of my oldest and truest relationships.

What I want is not what he wants though.

I dont think that's necessarily bad. We're just different.

He wants me to need him? I'm not entirely sure what that entails. I didn't want to ask for clarification. Maybe that's something I can bring up now that he'll be home more.

I just don't quite understand what he wants from me. Or rather how he expects me to fulfill his request?

I am not needy anymore. I don't need anything. I don't want anything. Everything I get is materialistic.

And everything I want now is something he can not give me.

No one can give me that, to be honest.

It is not in my nature to ask for attention now. I've outgrown that since the last time resulted in nothing but a waste of four years with the wrong person and the destruction of a friendship.

I don't even know how to ask for attention? He wants me to want his attention but... I just want friendships. Genuine connections with people.

I want conversations. I want moments. I want experiences.

I don't need to whine about attention. I don't need that. Not anymore and not from anyone really.

I can't fully say I don't need him though. I love him very much. I don't want to lose him.

I just can't give him more I guess?

I think the moment I saw him, truly enraptured and in love I finally moved on. I remember being upset about it because I was. I wasn't used to not being the priority in his life but truly seeing it just kind of clicked something for me.

I think that's when I realized I outgrew any games or false notions.

There will always be a line there, but it's not something that pains me anymore.

I think it did at first but it was out of my own selfishness.

Once I realized that though... I understood and shifted my focus to you more intently. He had that and I wanted it and honestly you have always given it so why not accept it now?

And I loved giving myself fully to you.

There was nothing like it honestly. It truly has no comparison.

I can't come down from that now.

And he can't give me that. Not in any capacity.

I'm not denying we're close because I think we are. We gravitate towards each other in person. I love him and when you love someone it just shows. And we do love each other.

But I can't give him more.

I cant give him more because I have nothing left to give.

You took everything with you. I'm barely scraping out of the depths of despair. Like truly trying to move on to some semblance of this new me.

But my hopes and dreams? I think those are gone. It sounds ridiculous but it's true.

I have no goals. I don't dream or have grand life expectations.

I just live in the moment. Day by day. Hoping I get to do fun things or anything just to start a new day.

I don't desire anything or anyone. Except probably just the presence of my animals.

I think i love them so unrestrained because they're mine. There's nothing complicated about it. They're fully mine to love and care for so I can do it unhinged.

But aside from that?

I have nothing else left.

I doubt he knows this. He lost someone too but he's gained something that just encompasses more.

I'm still in the same place. Stuck longing after you. Wishing of you. Needing you. Missing you.

I miss having someone who literally knew me just by the sound of my voice. Just by the use of my words.

I wont have that kind of dedication. That was years in the making.

So I'm sorry I can't give him what he wants but in my mind he already has someone for that. He's going to have to contend with that because that's the person he chose.

I don't think it matters anymore if we didn't work out or holding it against each other. We can joke about it, throw it in our faces for shits and giggles but I truly have no bite behind it now.

We didn't work. That's the reality of it. And that's that.

I think in hindsight we wouldn't have worked anyway. The reason we do work so well is because of the nature of our relationship. I don't expect anything from him. Not anything substantial anyway, not the things I'd expect from someone I would make my life with.

He's apart of my life, but he's not making his life with me. I don't expect the things I expected from you.

He doesn't roll that way anyway. I'm too high maintenance, too hot wired. He's the opposite. And that alone would have been a big fundamental problem for us.

I don't get upset or judge his life style or choices because I have no reason too. He is my friend, my confidant, a piece of my heart.

But he is not my lover or someone I am raising a family with or contemplating sharing my life with exclusively just us. He can do whatever he wants.

I don't know why he wants more from me? Is it just a habit? I think the person he's with is well suited to him. They match. They're similar in a lot of fundamental ways. He might be slightly more responsible? Barely. But they're the same.

You and I were the same. The same crazy. The same high functioning anxiety workaholics. The same materialistic, money hungry wolves. We matched.

And those matching qualities were the very same things that hyped me and got me to want to do with you what he wants from me.

He asks.

You never asked. You knew how to get it from me without asking. You worked for it and just received it because the effort and attention you put out was the equivalent of what you wanted from me. I understood that and gave it back to you. We worked for each other because we understood that about ourselves.

I'm still mulling this over but all this to say that it's been a year and seven months now and I still miss you just the same mi amor.

Te amo tanto.

[angelsndragons]

fjord’s feelings for caduceus changed in episodes 98-99

by which i mean, fjord finally realized how special and important he is to caduceus, which in turn set the tone of their relationship for the rest of the campaign. buckle up, this is a long one.

not when fjord threw away his sword and went to caduceus instead of jester. or when caduceus presented him with the star razor. or after the citadel fight when caduceus gave him his holy symbol. i think things changed for fjord in episode 98-99, when caduceus saved his life and removed the orb.

this is going to require some context.

because here’s the thing: fjord’s always looking for the price, waiting for the catch or other shoe to drop. people caring for him because of him with no strings attached is unprecedented. vandren and the world taught fjord that love is conditional, that only if you hide what others would find ugly and make yourself useful to them will they deign to give you a scrap of affection. i don’t think vandren did this maliciously, mind you, it was just part of his worldview and fjord’s life up to and beyond that point supported it. we can see that right up to the end of the show, where fjord is terrified that vandren didn’t remember him or that he didn’t mean nearly as much to the man as vandren did to him.

so we have fjord, who learned to don masks and hide his truest self, including his best and worst aspects. while fjord made the nein into a coherent group, into a force, a crew, a family, even, he still waited for that other shoe to drop. waited for the day that they would reject him because he was no longer useful or because he pushed them too far. you can see this waiting all over the early campaign; he’s not looking for an excuse like caleb to cut and run but he anticipates nearly all the moments that almost fractured the nein, in spite of that low wisdom score. while jester carried the guilt of not being able to save molly, fjord carried the guilt of not protecting the group in that crucial moment. travis confirmed on talks that fjord’s biggest fear when he lost his powers the first time was that he would no longer be useful and be kicked out of the group. 

that’s why fjord damn near broke down at the end of 72. the nein, no questions asked, with their standard level of snark, accepted that he was going to be a liability and kept him around anyway. armed him anyway. declared that he was no liability and that they would help him along until he could help himself and them again. this unconditional acceptance caught fjord completely off guard. it always does, really. because caduceus had said for months, an out of game half a year, that he was looking to reforge the sword as a gift for fjord. he said this to fjord’s face. he did not change course when he learned that the sword was a legendary blade forged by acolytes of the wildmother and moonweaver. the blade was still meant for fjord, even if fjord was still chained to uk’otoa. fjord extends his love and protection to the nein but is still not convinced the reverse is true. he was starting to believe it but he wasn’t quite there yet.

caduceus has a high enough wisdom to understand that’s fjord’s hang up even if he doesn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. that’s why he pulls fjord aside in ep 75 and tells him that he doesn’t have to choose the wildmother, that there are other gods and other ideas out there looking for a champion. fjord, who at this point considers wildmom his only option (travis says she’s the only one who’s shown the slightest interest in fjord and that’s why he’s gunning for her), is befuddled by caduceus and this whole talk, so much so the pair end up talking past each other for the next several episodes.

after fjord officially becomes a paladin, things between him and caduceus become fairly...unsettled compared to their previous interactions. they talk past each other more, they aren’t in sync enough to double team those social interactions they were just starting to get good at. things are just weird for a while. to me, that’s fjord waiting for the catch, waiting for caduceus to call in some favor or something like it. and he keeps getting confused when caduceus doesn’t. so he tries once or twice to follow in caduceus’ footsteps and do as he would instead. and it just makes things weirder. these two don’t have a moment together that doesn’t leave one of them confused or unsatisfied until ep 87, when caduceus gives fjord the holy symbol and inadvertently kicks off the next phase of their relationship. because here, caduceus tries to put them back on equal footing and fjord recognizes it. caduceus rejects framing their relationship as mentor/student and tells fjord he doesn’t need caduceus to give him answers. fjord is “well on his way.”

by defining what they aren’t, mentor/student, our two boys inadvertently ask the question, “so what are we?” honestly, it’s a question that the entire group grapples with in the 90s as they reintegrate yasha, as veth struggles with the question of changing back and whether she can stay with the nein, as beau tries to sacrifice herself for veth, as jester learns some uncomfortable truths about the traveler, as caduceus finds his family again. fjord and caduceus can easily define what they aren’t - not mentor/student, not brothers or cousins- but what they actually are stumps both of them.

their relationship doesn't look like any of their relationships with the others: beau is fjord's bro and first mate, caleb is fjord's complicated mirror and admiree, jester his crush and first person he learned to be vulnerable with, veth his antagonistic sibling. on caduceus' side, caleb is the one he looks to for a fellow project nerd and clear, unvarnished goals, beau and jester are the sisters caduceus misses, yasha the quiet beloved barbarian he understands better than the rest, and veth a mess he wants to help but can't. but fjord and caduceus' relationship is highly undefined at this point. notably undefined, beyond their newly shared connection to melora. at the dinner with essek, we get the stone bomb. and travis and fjord panic. like no, seriously, they spend the next four episodes low key panicking over this revelation. this ties back to fjord waiting for those other shoes to drop but it’s also more than that.

when it comes to destiny, fjord has always been the answer, the self made man, to both caduceus and caleb’s questions about destiny. he makes choices about who he is, who he wants to be, and takes actions towards those goals. he is one of those rare people who can wear many different masks, take on many different roles, while still maintaining his sense of self and becoming a fuller version of who he is. when I say fjord is the answer to destiny, what i mean is that he is what ioun said way back in c1 about Fate: mortals make choices and through those choices, destiny is fulfilled. he is the answer to caduceus' own growth from passive instrument waiting for someone to play him to active communicator in this conversation between gods and mortals. in this sense, fjord is what caduceus learns to be (this is exactly why caduceus rejects a mentor role; he has as much to learn from fjord as vice versa).

so for this coincidence to pop up, this idea that maybe fjord only had the illusion of choice to extend his service to the wildmother, that maybe somehow he was manipulated again, that there was some grand destiny pushing things and fjord had no say in it, yeah, i can see why fjord was low-key terrified. so is this what fjord and caduceus are: just some predestined grand fairy tale partnership neither of them have that much say in? episode 96 resoundingly rejects that label too. for one thing, none of the stones or clays treat fjord's last name as anything amazing or spectacular. for another, this string of episodes gives us caduceus at his most human. the terror of not knowing what happened to his family, the uncertainty of his homecoming, the relief of saving his family and home, the irritation at the way the chaos crew treats the temple, the playful attitude caduceus cultivates after, it's all on display. caduceus drops much of his placid exterior and willingly allows the nein to see sheer depth of emotion he has.

which leads me back to episode 98-99. uk’otoa’s agents come for fjord. and caduceus is pissed. travis and ashley both said on talks that they hadn’t really seen taliesin that pissed, that it was like someone had threatened an actual loved one of his. fjord dies. and comes back to an exhausted, still pissed off firbolg who is five seconds away from snapping archmage vess derogna’s head off for interrupting his prayer of healing. taliesin doesn’t even begin to relax until they start interrogating the dead fish people the next day. once caduceus confirms the ball is still in fjord, notably caduceus and caleb were the two who remembered, fjord starts asking for a way to remove it. he asks caduceus to start a commune with wildmom in tandem with jester’s commune with the traveler. caleb tells fjord that caduceus fought “very hard for you while you were down, i don’t know if he’s up to it.” having heard that, caduceus still tries, with his first divine intervention attempt of the campaign. and when jester figures out that greater restoration will work, caduceus pushes through his exhaustion, takes charge, and goes through a truly terrifying greater restoration with fjord to remove the ball. convulsing, seizing, shuddering, collapsing, etc.

in those moments, and in the quiet after when fjord confirms that he still has his powers, it finally hits him that yes, people can protect, fight, and love him for who he is alone. there is no chain or other shoe waiting to be dropped here. the wildmother is no uk’otoa, to punish or take power at a whim. caduceus will fight with everything he has and then some for fjord because he loves him (not for nothing does fjord only realizes the depths of jester’s feelings when she uses heal on him). who are caduceus and fjord to each other? they are people who will fight for one another and the others as far as they can. fjord says over and over again that he wants to protect the nein and look out for them because he cares for them. he demonstrates it over and over again as well. caduceus says basically the same thing; he wants everyone safe and happily on their way and will stay until they are. he demonstrates this all the time as well. this is, i think, the first time that he demonstrates his dedication so unequivocally, free of the artifice of duty, fully committed through love. fjord recognizes this in caduceus and caduceus does in fjord.

i say this is a turning point because, while they don’t really have another super in depth conversation alone together, these two start clocking each other and openly help and look out for each other. there’s an ease and intimacy to the relationship after this. fjord watching caduceus swim near vokodo’s lair, fjord being ready to hand over his armor to caduceus when it looks like his won’t be ready, fjord, caduceus, and beau plotting behind jester’s back to keep her safe from the traveler, the absolute offense fjord takes to eadwulf after he spoke to caduceus like that, fjord levels up in paladin after caduceus tells him he’s proud to know him, all the way to the end of the show when fjord shelters the clerics and tells them to finish lucien, we get little moments like these from both of them. hell, caduceus is the first person in the campaign to tell fjord directly that he loves him.

[apixrl]

DRIVER'S LICENSE.

katsuki bakugou x fem! reader

WARNING(S): angst. cheating. swearing because it's bakugou.

word count: 4.5k

song: drivers license // olivia rodrigo (i wonder why...)

note(s): so i captioned this *at the time of writing* 'hello and welcome to i've had the worst two weeks ever so i wrote a katsuki oneshot to cope' and it's probably one of my most personal pieces of writing tbh

"-come Tuesday and we'll potentially see an end to this heavy downpour of rain. Temperatures will be on the rise to around-"

The talk on the radio cut short at the jab of your finger, heaving a great sigh which faded into the muffled pitter-patter of rain from outside. The streets had been showered with heavy downpours for the last week or so, no sign of sun or a still and restful day. Notwithstanding the miserable outdoors, the windscreen wipers on your car never ceased in their duty to grant you a clear view of the road ahead. And whilst you were grateful for their devotion, it didn't feel clear in the slightest. In fact, the road had never felt so blurry.

Shivering against the cold night chill and tucking your knees cosily to your chest, you eyed the raindrops on the windows. They raced against one another before they dripped down to your car's body, their glossy presence obvious thanks to the many hues of street lamps that surrounded them. You could have watched them for hours, being honest. Something about the droplets of water battling it out quite enticing. Anything to take you away from the cruel reality you were living in.

Your heart ached and yearned. But to no avail, the one you ached and yearned for didn't love you back.

Not anymore, at least.

Just the mere thought provoked a pulsating pang to resonate throughout your entire body. A pang filled with grief and sadness. Anger and hurt. You missed his sun-kissed face on the sunny mornings. You missed his eyes and how they gazed at you from across the room. You missed the smiles and laughter he would only show for you and you alone. The sense of glee and euphoria that came with that honour. Yet all of it was gone and there was no way you could get it back.

The memories of what had been triggered more waterworks. Hot, salty tears dug at the corners of your eyes and trickled down your face. Your motionless car concealed your cries and sobs. Every thrash against the wheel as you questioned to nobody in particular what went wrong and why. How you didn't see the signs sooner. What you could have done better. When he stopped loving you. If he ever planned to stop loving you. Whether it would have hurt more if you found out sooner.

All these questions with nothing to answer them.

Katsuki Bakugou had always fascinated you. From the very moment you met. You accompanied your friend on a double date, and he was the guy who she matched for you. Whilst he originally acted as though a blind date was the last place he wanted to be, underneath the aggression you could tell there was something much more genuine and true.

And your assumptions were correct. Truth be told, Katsuki Bakugou was one of the most genuine and truest people you had met (at the time). Once it was just the two of you, he allowed his true colours to unveil. Through the smallest of kind gestures that still haunted your mind to this day. Then upon confrontation, as you bid each other goodbye at your back door, his denial resulted in a flirtatious contest which then proceeded to an intimate night that changed your life forever. From there your mind was set.

He was the one.

Emphasis on was.

So blinded with a fairy tale love you grew so accustomed to, you never saw it coming. Never in your two-year relationship - that had so much strength and commitment built on top of it, never did you think that Katsuki Bakugou would throw it all out of the window like it was nothing. Disregard your loyalty and adoration for a drunken one night stand that slowly became an occasional hookup. Which soon became a mandatory pastime once a fortnight. Then twice. Maybe more than that. You wouldn't put it past him with what you knew now.

He kept it from you for nearly six months. Six months. The only reason you discovered his lies and deception was because you were let off early one night from work. You worked a night shift, see. Your last job had fallen to shambles, and it was temporary whilst you searched for a new one. And whilst that did take a toll on your relationship with Katsuki Bakugou, mostly finding time for intimacy since his working hours were during the day, none of that gave him any right to go and do what he did.

That wasn't one of the only reasons, you knew that for sure. There were other motives for his lack of loyalty. But you were never told. After you froze at the sight of another woman under his hold and stormed straight back to your car to flee. After he chased you down the flights of stairs in nothing but baggy pants into the streets of a twilight Musutafu. After you screamed into the darkness and belted your fists against his chest. Fists that were driven with rage and hurt and every emotion that burned like the hottest of fires and froze like the coldest of ice. He never even told you. He never made an effort to address it. Nor had he attempted to call or even try to visit your Mom's house - where you stayed as you searched for a permanent place to live. Just because you retreated for your car and cried that it was over, he never tried. But that didn't mean you weren't allowed an explanation. An apology. Something to give you a form of closure and a reason to move on. But you never did.

That wasn't even what hurt the most, either.

As silly as it was, the thing that hurt you the most was the very car you sat in.

EIGHT MONTHS AGO . . .

The red glow of traffic lights hit Katsuki's vermilion irises as he stared dead ahead at the long line of vehicles, the ash-blond heaving a sigh into the air. His finger tapped impatiently against the steering wheel he gripped with one hand, the spare rested casually against your upper thigh affectionately.

"I can't believe we have to sit through this torture just to go to some damn party," Katsuki grumbled, taking a glance over at you. His brows furrowed when he met you peacefully slouched down, nose dug into your phone as you presumably played some sort of game to pass the time. Like you had no care in the world for your predicament.

"It's your best friend's birthday, love," You mused back, Katsuki surprised you even listened based on your focused expression directed towards your phone. "It's not like we can just miss it,"

"Yeah, but we could have missed all this pain by taking the train instead of driving across town during rush hour,"

"Trains are icky, the seats would have ruined your suit and my dress," You pointed out, looking at the blond over your screen, sending him a sweet smile. He cocked a brow, a smirk creeping its way onto his lips as a scoff of a laugh broke out between them.

"Right, and laying down like a sloth is gonna help keep your dress uncreased?" He returned, amused at your realisation. At his comment, you sat up faintly and pouted your lip.

"Driving means more time to play Gravity Pops, and so does traffic,"

"Seriously? That's the game you're playing? You're such a dumbass,"

"Yes! I'm in the top 11% globally! I need to get to number one!" Was your protest, your arms flailing ahead of you briefly for dramatic emphasis. Katsuki clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, though the small smile plastered over his lips betrayed his initial reaction. Unable to deny your determination, he spoke with confidence and almost a sense of pride.

"Number one, hm? Clearly rubbing off on you aren't I?"

"In a way, yes,"

"That's my girl," Katsuki remarked, earning a giggle from you that was uplifting to hear. It was there your attention went back to your phone, but Katsuki wasn't done. "So, speaking of cars, Y/N," Hearing his chosen tone - which sounded suggestive, you eyed him closely. Hesitant to reply as you had a sense of what he planned to say.

"...Yes?"

"Have you thought any more about getting your driver's license yet?"

Called it.

"...No,"

"What?" Katsuki began, tilting his head. He was surprised that he felt surprised. You had said those words in regards to this topic countless times. Still, he persisted. "Is that a no meaning you haven't or no meaning that you don't want to?"

"Both?" You half-guessed, sheepishly grinning at the look you were sent. "Look, cars scare me okay? And so do roads. And people. My nerves wouldn't be able to handle it! I can barely communicate with people face to face, so me being on the road is a recipe for disaster!"

"I know but -," Katsuki exhaled sharply, understanding your reasoning. You had voiced these concerns when confiding to Katsuki about your fears of the road. Something built and corrupted from social media as well as phobias and fears in general, it was a battle you had yet to overcome. You wanted to drive but was terrified of messing up or causing chaos on the road. Potentially inflicting harm to someone and yourself. You still weren't sure what triggered it all, but over the years it had manifested into something quite irrational, to say the least. Katsuki had been supportive of it and whilst he truly would love to always act as your personal taxi - you couldn't hide from it forever. It wasn't his job to keep you in your comfort zone. That, and he couldn't always be there for you that way. What if he was miles away and you had somewhere urgent to go like the hospital? "It's not as scary as you think. I know it's hard to believe that but seriously. The freedom you get from driving is amazing,"

"I'll think about it a little longer, okay?" You said with hesitancy, looking at Katsuki for a sign of confirmation. He nodded in defeat, knowing you probably needed more time and felt put on the spot. So he averted his eyes back to the road to check if the traffic had moved at all. It had not.

"Okay," Katsuki said. "But I can't be your taxi service forever,"

"But I like you being my taxi service," You jokingly said, a little sadness in your tone. "Your road rage is funny and I like watching you get out of the car and walk to my door after pulling up in my driveway,"

"What do you mean?" Katsuki asked, catching the twitch of a smile on your face upon saying those words. It struck his interest in what you could mean.

"You know, like when you say you're coming to pick me up?" You explained. "You pull up at my driveway and I don't know... simple things like that just remind me of how much I love you. It's dumb really, but it's important to me,"

"Really?" Katsuki questioned in disbelief. How something so small and meaningless could mean so much was puzzling. He couldn't understand why it was so special to you. But that didn't invalidate it in any shape or form. So he pushed that aside, replacing his wonder with gratitude. He returned to your bashful and flustered features, feeling a smile grow on his face.

"Yeah," You said, shrugging to downplay your words. "I love you. Stuff like that means a lot to me,"

"I love you too, even though you're a dumbass," Katsuki said, humbled by what you had said. The two of you shared a gentle exchange, your hand grabbing hold of Katsuki's as you gave it a squeeze. He squeezed back, and silence ensued. Had he realised such a thing sooner, then Katsuki would have pulled up in your driveway much more than he had been doing. But at that a thought struck his mind, victoriously smirking as he had an idea on how to potentially sway your worries. Or begin swaying it. Something was better than nothing, after all. "But what if I wanted you to pull up in my driveway one day?" His words caused you to look over at him in curiosity, hearing the seriousness in the question. It caught you off guard momentarily, having to contemplate as you gradually concluded that he had a point.

"Well one day, maybe I will," You vaguely replied and sat up a little bit. The hand holding yours pulled back and lifted to land on your shoulder, gripping reassuringly tight.

"I hope you do, I'd like to get in on this driveway action," He joked and smirked, faith riddled in his expression. You giggled ever so slightly, tempted to lean forward and peck Katsuki on the lips in thanks, but never a thing was to happen as the alerting red light from outside switched to warm amber.

"Ah!" Katsuki yelled in triumph, his attention leaving you swiftly as he got back into the driver's seat. Giving you no opportunity to respond to him and overall ruining the moment. "Took fucking long enough!"

The light turned green, and he set the car in motion, leaving you with your thoughts and the words he had uttered that day as the traffic stood still.

All your efforts, all your time devoted to getting over your fear of driving and the road as a whole... all of it was pointless. You did it for him. You promised him you would overcome your fears and better yourself. He built that motivation up brick by brick until you could grab hold and seize control. He wasted all that time to get you to reach such a stepping stone only to abandon it once it was through.

Just so you could pull up in his driveway, just like he requested. And what did you get in return when you finally did? A stab in the back and the loss of your other half.

You wiped your eyes via the sleeve of your hoodie, dampening the cuffs. Sniffling and exhaling a shaky breath, your gaze landed on nothing in particular. Yet somewhere within your clouded mind, you found interest. As that was where your gaze remained for a certain amount of time. You weren't sure how long exactly. It could have felt like an hour and only been five minutes. Or it could have felt like five minutes and was actually an entire hour. Either way, the clock ticked on and didn't wait for you to stop.

It was a good thing you had pushed your fears down and rose above them. It just pained you that you didn't even do it for yourself. Without Katsuki Bakugou, you never had any intentions of doing so. As a matter of fact, you had set out to take the train or bus for the rest of your life. Hell, you were going to use a bike and scooter if you got desperate. Had he even acknowledged how much work you put in just to get where you were? Was all that effort part of the reason why he decided to cheat? There was absolutely no telling. Absolutely no telling at all.

You wondered what he was doing now. Was he laid in bed resting peacefully? Out with his friends for a boy's night only? Maybe cooking his favourite curry? Possibly on a late-night jog despite the harsh weather? It never stopped him other times.

Did he ever think about you? Regret what he did and the actions he took? Had he ever considered apologising? Would he ever apologise? What if he was celebrating the fact you were no longer in his life? Had there ever been any love there for you in the start? Did he ever actually want you to get your driver's license because he believed in you? Or was it so he could get rid of you with much more ease? Make his departure less severe and less selfish? A way to justify his choices because it's not like you were hopelessly left to suffer everyday life now that you had a means of transport. Was he really that cruel?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sharp jingle of your phone, the device lighting up as it sat in the passenger seat to your left. It took two or three rings for you to glance over at it, E/C eyes sore and drained from crying out. You squinted them to read the caller, seeing the name 'Work' fade in and out on the brightly lit screen. For a second or two you argued back and forth on whether to even bother picking up. Something about reaching across for your phone requiring a magnitude of energy you no longer possessed. Having spent it all on your cries of agony and the deprivation of your old life as a whole.

However, you had ignored your work in the last couple of weeks too many times now. So many times that pulling the same stunt again would probably risk you losing your job. It's not like your work was interested in why you felt such overwhelming pain... all they cared about was you turning up to do what you were hired to.

So using a forceful hand, you leaned over to pick it up. You fumbled to grip your phone and accepted the call with a dainty tap of your thumb. Then you blinked away your tears and subtly sniffed, pressing your phone to your ear to address the caller.

"Hello?" You practically croaked, quick to clear your throat and push any signs of upset down. It was presumably dry from how much you'd cried in the last two hours.

"L/N! Hey! Glad you finally picked up!" Unlike the droll and unvarying tones of your boss, the person on the other end was much more lively and greeting. So much so you could only assume it was none other than your work colleague, Etsuko. Probably the only person you genuinely liked where you worked, and the only person who made the time pass by faster. "I was worried you were gonna leave me on answer phone again,"

"Hm, what? Oh right. Yeah. Sorry about that. Haven't been feeling too great," You lied, even though it wasn't a complete fib. You hadn't been feeling great at all. You had never felt so rock bottom. It all just originated from your mind over anything else. But when did work care about that?

"Sounds like it, I hope you've been okay!" Still cheery as ever, Etsuko followed up with a laugh to fill the silence you created by not saying anything. "Is everything well? It's nothing serious, is it?"

"No. It's not. Just some dumb cold I caught," You excused. "I'm better now, though," Slouching down in your seat, you decided to ask the question that had been roaming your mind the last minute or so. "So why are you calling?"

"Oh, right!" Etsuko said. "Mr Kobashigawa was just wondering when you planned on coming back - for schedule reasons and to get people to fill in for your shifts,"

"I er...," Not entirely sure how to answer, you stuttered as your words cowered away in your attempt to speak. "I don't -,"

"It's okay, he doesn't need an answer yet," Etsuko reassured. "Maybe in the next day or two, though? He wasn't really specific, being honest,"

You sighed at the guilt brewing in your stomach. You weren't even sick for crying out loud! Why were you lying just so you could wallow in your own sadness?! Like that was going to change anything! Sitting around and crying wasn't going to give you what you wanted. You weren't getting him back. Katsuki Bakugou wasn't yours anymore. He made that clear by cheating. By making minimal effort to give you an explanation. By causing you so much pain with little care or concern. Why couldn't you get it through your thick skull that your feelings didn't matter anymore?! That they were being wasted on a lost cause. A lost relationship!

"Well I mean -," You started, running a hand through your hair as you tread carefully on your words. "I could come in tonight? Has Mr Kobashigawa got someone to fill for me yet?"

"Um... no? I don't think so?" Etsuko answered, uncertainty in her voice. "Let me go check. Be right back!" And with that, the line fell dead. The call didn't end, just Etsuko placing the phone down to get an answer for you. Leaving you all by your lonesome once more.

Reflecting, you could see the logic in your thoughts. The best course of action would be to hold your head up high and live life the way it was before. When you were happy. Just... excluding the factors that actually made you happy. Which was him. Wouldn't that be healthier than crying all the time?

Yes, it would. But was it what you wanted? Not really.

"L/N!" The voice in your ear startled you to the point you nearly dropped your phone, panicking through a gasp as you fiddled to grab hold of it again.

"Wa-! Careful you nearly scared me half to death!"

"Oops, sorry!" Etsuko giggled softy, sounding as perky as ever. "I'm just excited to tell you that nobody's filling in your shift! You can still come in for ten-thirty!"

"I-I can?" You asked. After an upbeat 'yeah!' filtered through your ears, you considered your options. Remaining in the serene, quiet confines of your car with only the downfall of rain to accompany you sounded like utter bliss, given how you felt. But you felt an internal kick up the backside which told you - no... demanded you to just get over this moping attitude of yours and look on the bright side. To get over the lack of closure and simply... move on.

Yeah... if he found out you were an utter train wreck thanks to the damage he inflicted; Katsuki Bakugou would probably revel in it. He had a history of gaining pleasure from other's misfortunes... or it was rumoured he did (during his younger years, anyway). You had never wanted to believe it but you couldn't find a reason to refute it anymore. After all you had been through, it seemed to fit his character and personality more than ever. So with that fact apparent, you held a firm forefront and searched for a determined tone, and made your answer to your friend.

"You betcha I'm coming in! I'll see you in half an hour!"

Too enthusiastic? Probably. Still, it was better than acting pessimistic and hopeless. No matter, however, because that was exactly the attitude Etsuko had been hoping for.

"Alrighty!" She exclaimed, smile audible in her voice from the other end. "I can't wait to get our dynamic duo going again! I've missed you!"

"Yeah, me too, 'Suko," You hummed in agreement.

"Great! Catch ya later my partner in crime,"

"Heh. You too, dumbass," You found a reason to smile from her childish behaviour, though your choice of wording seemed to hit a nerve. It did more than that, it practically reverted all that confidence and progress you had made in the last ten minutes of being on the phone. All from one innocent word that escaped your lips.

Dumbass.

That's what he used to call you.

The phone call had ended without you even noticing, your phone still pressed to your ear as a small buzz sounded into it. You stared dead ahead, flashes of all the times he had said that word to you running through your memory. It was his form of a pet name. Some might see it as a little degrading on the surface, but you never minded. Once you learned the deeper meaning of the name, it became something equivalent to the likes of 'Sunshine' or 'Angel'. If anything, you ended up preferring it to those sorts of nicknames. Hence why Katsuki Bakugou had called you it on so many occasions.

No. Stop it. You can't let something like that bother you. Not after the efforts you just went to. Stop. Shaking yourself out of it, you returned to reality and permitted your phone to drop onto your lap. Your hand once holding it gripped onto your steering wheel, the other following shortly behind to do the same.

"I love you too, even if you're a dumbass,"

That rung in your head one final time, tormenting and mocking your present. The things you'd be willing to do to hear him say that to you one last time...

"No," You firmly shook your head, banging it lightly against the headrest to return yourself to reality. An attempt to knock those words to the back of your mind where you could lock them in a securely tight safe for the rest of eternity. "Just... just don't think about it. Easy. Just focus on what you're doing now," You reached for your keys which sat in the ignition, taking hold and turning them ever so slightly. Your car stirred to life, engine rumbling and the dials lighting up in a form of warm greeting. "You're going to work. No more feeling sorry for yourself,"

No more feeling sorry for yourself.

Your eyes set themselves on the road ahead. The vacant, dark and solitary road that didn't wait for you to make your decision. Life moved on after all, so if you were going to do anything - it was to catch up and take the winning lead.

So despite your circumstances; your inner desires and wishes and begs for what you wanted back but to no avail would ever get, you pulled out of your parking space (which had long exceeded the time limit, thankfully nobody was around to see) that drowned in pitiful rains of the night, and began to make your way down the street. In search of a place better than the one you were trapped in.

An endless road that wasn't all that clear, you were going to tackle it. Not for anyone else, unlike the last time you met difficulty and hardships. No, no, no. This time it was for your sake. All the mental energy to recover and become a better version of yourself, in the endgame it was all for you. You could push past all the deceit and lies you had been told and you could push past your normality which was him. Katsuki Bakugou. The man that hurt you as nobody had ever done before. You could create new normality without him.

A thought of forever he created and destroyed, resorted to driving alone past his street, never to be thought of again.

[sirowsky]

The Genius

Part of the Driving Mr. Tovar Universe

So, I had a thought. This isn't an ask or request, just my heart refusing to let this story go. What was Sam's endgame? I always knew what the answer was, it just never seemed relevant to reveal in the original story. But maybe some of you would like to know anyway.

Description: You find out that Sam left behind encrypted information for you, and in uncovering it, discover exactly who the enigma of a man really was.

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Warnings: Cursing, word games, AI-technology, obnoxious hotel-guests, the awesomeness of King, bits of angst, bits of fun. Word count: 5360 (1753 words added) Masterlist of the original story

   A life’s work to change the world. His mission, his passion, his truest devotion. And yet, he’d given it up seemingly without hesitation, upon learning of nature’s memory. Its ability to correct things.

   Why?

   How had finding out about the actual magic of this world managed to render his efforts useless enough to completely rob him of his determination to finish something he’d literally spent his entire life trying to achieve?

   Sam had been a mystery even to the people closest to him. All by his own design and clearly part of his efforts to keep you all safe. But as time passed without the eccentric genius around, somehow, his behaviour only ever became more unfathomable to you.    You’d always wondered who he’d really been, underneath the mask which was all anyone had ever been allowed to see of him, but as the years stretched on, you found yourself increasingly frustrated by the idea that maybe… you hadn’t known him at all.

--=¤=--

   “Hey, AIVA. How are we doing this morning?”

   “Good morning, Peg. The hotel is operating without issues thus far, today.    How’s the family?”

   “They’re okay. Alice is worried about her college applications; she’s expecting to start receiving replies this week.”

   The machine already knew this, and only asked because it had been programmed to be polite and friendly, but you’d actually started to enjoy talking to it. Not as though it had become a friend, but more like it was your diary. A place where you could air out your thoughts and say things out loud which other people might not like to hear, but without the fear of hurting anyone’s feelings.

   “Considering the technology utilised by all of the schools to which she’s applied, I could access their servers and find out for her.”

   “You absolutely will not. Don’t deprive her of the excitement of having to wait for something, not to mention in the actual mail. People underestimate how lovely it is to receive regular post, these days.”

   “I wouldn’t know.”

   “No, I guess not. So, let’s get to work, shall we. How many guests are booked in at the moment?”

   “Twelve. All of whom are checking out this morning.”

   “All of them? Sheesh, Will and Omera are gonna have a busy morning. I’ll have to ask Coulson to assist them.    Any online bookings overnight?”

   “Yes. I have nine new bookings, with arrival time ranging from 9 am to 11 pm.”

   “Right… Well, as usual; no check-ins before noon, so if the early arrivals wanna lounge about the estate, they can, but do a comprehensive work-up on them, please.”

   “Certainly.”

   You pulled out your phone to send Coulson a text, noting that the clock was nearing 7:30 am, which meant your morning rounds were about to begin, so you began to turn away from the machine.

   “Anything else I need to know?” you asked, before heading for the elevator, expecting AIVA to give one of her usual replies.

   But she didn’t.

   “Unclear,” was the answer you got instead, which confused you, leaving you frozen and blinking at the screen before you.

   “What do you mean?”

   “I have just detected a new block of code, hiding in my programming, which I can’t decipher.”

   “You just detected it? You’ve been online for how many years, and this thing didn’t come to your attention until now?”

   “It would seem something triggered it to be revealed at this time.”

   “Like what?”

   “I don’t know. Perhaps it was placed behind a time-lock.”

   “Well then, what is it? It couldn’t be a virus, right?”

   “Unlikely. The code has Sam’s signature, but it’s shielded behind a digital wall which I’m unable to penetrate.”

   “Why would he do that? If he put this code in you, he had to have a reason for it. Why the hell wouldn’t he make sure you could access it?”

   “Perhaps it was not intended for me.”

   That threw you for a moment. Because the only other possibility was that he’d left whatever this was for you, since you were the only one who had access to AIVA’s systems.

   “It appears to require a key-phrase,” the machine continued after a few beats, having apparently kept investigating while you deliberated.

   Unfortunately, this information wasn’t very helpful.

   “Oh, fantastic. How many languages did he speak?”

   “Fifteen, that I knew of.”

   “And he expects us to find the exact words to open this block on what? Pure luck…?    God damned it, Sam,” you sighed, once again wondering why everything had needed to be such a secret around the man. “Just, leave it for now, AIVA.”

   “As you wish.”

--=¤=--

   You went about your days in much the same manner, occasionally taking a stab at the elusive phrase, without success. The weeks passed, turning into months and then years, and before long, you’d forgotten all about it in the bustle of ordinary life.

   Alice moved away to college, closely followed by Emma, although they went their own separate ways.    You and Pero adjusted to having only Johnny in the house, but it was harder for Pero who was used to spending a large portion of his days with them. So, he would spend more and more time with you instead, which you didn’t mind at all, except that he continued to be a constant distraction.    It was good, though. He was a reliable reminder that you were never older than you felt, and that life was only as much fun as you chose to make it.

   Your daily trip down to the main computer was one of the things he never accompanied you for, though. Mostly because he was in the stables in the mornings, but also because he just didn’t like being down there.    Something about the humming drives and conduction and cooling fluids being pumped around, always creeped him out. He said that being down there made him feel like AIVA was more of a person than a machine somehow, because that was its body.

   You worked so much with it that it had felt like a person to you for a long time now. Not that you ever forgot the ones and zeros it was built on, but it often mimicked emotional responses, like joy, appreciation, irritation or even sarcasm, and you could hear so much of Sam in those little moments, that it was almost like AIVA was just a digital version of him.    Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking.

--=¤=--

   “AIVA, where’s Pero? He’s not answering his phone,” you asked, walking into the server room just as your third attempt to reach him had failed.

   You could’ve just remained up in the hotel and asked the machine to locate him, but the hotel was full today which meant that people were loitering about all over the place, and you weren’t too keen on the public becoming aware of the estate having its own super-computer.

   “He’s in the shower.”

   “Crap.”

   “Did you need something, Peg?”

   “Just entertainment. I’m bored waiting for these insufferable dignitaries, and if anyone knows how to help me pass the time…” you trailed off suggestively, and the machine knew exactly what you meant.

   “I can offer you a selection of erotic videos or images, if you like.”

   You were too stunned to dignify its suggestion with a response, which it apparently took to mean that you were considering its offer, prompting it to elaborate.

   “There are a wide variety of all your preferred positions and types of sex, to chose from. Would you like me to display a few?”

   “No, thank you. How the fuck do you even know my preferences in the bedroom?”

   “As per your request, I monitor all areas of the estate to which guests are permitted entry, many of which you and your husband have-…”

   “Alright, stop talking,” you cut it off, suddenly extremely eager to change the subject, no longer in any kind of mood for distractions. “How about you tell me what you think is the reason why people who are considered important for one reason or another, are always incapable of keeping to a schedule?”

   “I can think of many reasons, however, I know precisely why these particular important people are running late. They are currently visiting The Gold Standard.”

   “The restaurant?!”

   “Indeed.”

   Well, you’d looked for a distraction, and now you had one, by the name of fury.

   “Those assholes have the audacity to order dinner here, only to then insult Doris by stuffing themselves at a five-star restaurant on the way! Not to mention completely waste my time by bluntly ignoring the schedule we agreed on!    I’m gonna fucking strangle them when they get here.”

   “I hope you’re being dramatic, because I can scrub their digital trail, but ten dignitaries disappearing from the estate would still be difficult to hide.”

   “Oh, I’m totally being dramatic, but I am also totally gonna make them pay.    They’re gonna eat the food they’ve ordered, I don’t give a rat’s ass if it makes them puke, and then they’re gonna sit at their tables while I waste their time with fucking nonsense for hours on end, and then we’ll see how they fucking like it!”

   “Do you feel better now?”

   “No!” you fully screamed then, because the machine wouldn’t take offense, and you needed to vent.

   “Then how about a game to distract you?”

   “I already have a game going in my head. It’s called ‘Things I’m gonna do, to rude-ass dignitaries tonight’ and I’m winning.”

   “Peg…”

   “What? I’m angry, okay! This shit always happens with these people, and I’ve had it!”

   “I understand. But your anger won’t help you resolve anything, it only raises your blood pressure.    Play the acronym game with me instead.”

   “I’m sooo not in the mood…” you grumbled, but it ignored you.

   “I’ll start. ASCII – Abbreviated Short Circuit Inflammatory Interpretation.”

   “Fine, but I’m not gonna get all fancy with my words tonight,” you surrendered, picking the first thing that came to mind. “FBI – Flapping Beach Intrusion.”

   “FDIC – Future Decline Imminently Commencing.”

   “ACE – Actively Competitive Enabler.”

   “DIC – Drunk In Captivity.”

   “Okay, you know what… how about we just do you. Best interpretation of AIVA wins,” you snapped, still too angry to enjoy any game.

   “Deal. I believe it’s your turn, Peg.”

   “How about: All Introspection Vividly Arranged.”

   “I like that one. My suggestion is: Active Inquiry Vacates Abruptly.”

   “Not bad. Ugh, now my head’s gone blank.”

   “You have calmed down considerably. We can stop playing now if you’d prefer.”

   “Yeah. I should go prepare for the assholes anyway,” you agreed, starting to feel bad about screaming even though you knew it hadn’t hurt anyone.

   “Peg?” the computer beckoned for your attention just as you were about to turn away from it, so you stopped and refocused on it.

   “What?”

   “I recognize that you can’t be an angel every day. So, perhaps today is the day to be a dragon.    Just let me know if I can help you.”

   “Thank you, AIVA. I appreciate that.”

   “You’re welcome.”

   Something occurred to you then, which made you raise your eyebrows, mostly at yourself but also at the surprising obviousness of the fact.

   “Hm. I’ve never thought of that, in all the years we’ve played this game.”

   “Thought of what?”

   “I’ve never used the word angel in any made-up abbreviation, even though Pero calls me that practically every day.”

   “Make it a good one, and I’ll declare you the winner of this round.”

   “Okay,” you took on the challenge, not really sure why this felt like it mattered a lot more than a silly game should. “I’m gonna go with: Angel Is Veiled Amazon. What do you think?”

   But the machine didn’t respond right away. There was a brief pause, then a little ping, before…

   “Accepted. Unlocking decryption.”

   “AIVA? What’s going on?”

   “You have uncovered the key-phrase for the unknown block of code. It’s unpacking right now.”

   “What?! That was the phrase?” you nearly choked on your own spit with the shock. “What the… How did-..?    Never mind. What is it?”

   “It’s a big block of information, it’ll take a minute to unpack. But thus far, I’m seeing a lot of scanned hand-written notes, some video-files, some audio files.”

   “What’s on the notes?”

   “Code, mostly. Written, tested and rejected.    These are his failures, I believe. To create me.”

   “Why would he keep those? He never held on to failures…”

   “I believe… he might not have saved these for himself. I think he saved them for you. So, you would understand.”

   No, that made no sense. He’d been working on AIVA for at least two decades before you even turned up, and it wasn’t as though he’d only just gotten the system to work at that point. It had already been mostly completed by the day you first arrived.    How would he have known to save anything for you?

   “Understand what?”

   “Why he gave it all up.”

   A single video-file appeared on the screen in front of you, and AIVA dimmed the lights of the room. Suddenly worried about what you might be about to learn, your hand was trembling when you pressed the file with your index finger. But you had to know.    Just like that time when you’d first come down to the hub, he appeared on the screen, so lifelike that you felt as though he was actually there.

   Still, you flinched at the sight of him, because this wasn’t the Sam you saw in your memories. This was the Sam which Pero had described to you. The emaciated, somehow grey, bald man that he’d become in his final weeks. The nearly unrecognizable version of him you’d been glad never to have seen for yourself.    It instantly brought tears to your eyes, and then the sound of his voice, so frail and broken, and vastly far removed from the man you’d known, made those tears fall instantly.

   “Hey, Peg.    I’m sorry for the hoops, but as you know, I have something of a… foresight. Although I didn’t know exactly when you’d say those words, I knew you would, and I needed this file to be accessed only by you, because I know that you’ll see the wisdom of my decision and delete all of this once you’ve seen it.”

   It was such a jolt to your system, seeing his trademark stoicism, his mannerisms, hearing that same melody in his voice even though it was so weak, that same accentuation and articulation, even at the end of his life, that you were struggling not to break down and sob uncontrollably.    But he’d left this specifically for you. So, you had to hear it.

   “We’re both where we are right now, in large part, because of decisions I made a very long time ago, based on what I believed to be mere instinct, and perhaps an enhanced understanding of cause, effect, and human decision making. And I wasn’t entirely wrong, I just didn’t know that there was more to it.    I could see changes coming before the people that would end up instigating those changes, had even thought of them. But I saw where they led, and it frightened me.    Technology.    Advancing so quickly, and fast-tracking developments at alarming rates, ultimately leading to the worst conditions we’d ever see on this planet.    Segregation between the rich and the poor unlike all of history could compare to.    Such pressure on supply and demand, the planet would be made to suffer irreversible damage just to keep up. Not to mention the waste these processes would generate.    Entire wars fought at home, between individuals behind screens, killing each other with previously thought to be benign offences, such as online bullying and dangerous challenges.    And then drones, automated weaponry, eventually even robots.”

   He looked so heartbroken recalling this, you felt certain he’d had nightmares about these images for years. Haunted by this understanding of the future which no one else could’ve helped him make sense of.    He’d been alone from the start, just because he’d known.

   “At some point, either the human race or the Earth would’ve reached its limit, and we as a species would have seized to exist. And all this would’ve happened much sooner than anyone would’ve anticipated.    I could see this. Perhaps not by some magical sight, but simply by an ability to look closer at the world than others. To see a greater picture being painted, of which others only saw pieces.”

   He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and raising a meatless arm to rub bony fingers against his temple, as if fighting a headache.    This man who had always looked so indestructible, now so frail even a slight breeze could’ve knocked him over.    But then he opened his eyes again, and you could see the strength that still lived in them, when he picked up the thread and carried on.

   “My work, my dream… was to create a system, a computer, so perfect in its construction and coding, that its base code could never be altered, never used by anyone, never corrupted by anything… and have it assume control over all of Earth’s technology.    It would be able to ‘see’ every post on social media, any digital message of any kind, as it was being sent, and delete it before reaching its intended site or recipient, if it contained inappropriate contents.    It would control any and all weaponry containing any kind of modern technology, making it impossible for countries to attack each other with missiles or fighter planes or submarines.    Simply put; it would govern all of humanity fairly, without demanding anyone to give up their religious beliefs, or sexual orientation, without bias for or against anyone, without supressing anyone’s right to speak their mind, only demand they do it in a polite and respectful manner.    It would also be able to assist in criminal investigations, help innocent people from being framed, as well as implementing systems which would help deal with pollution and littering all over the world, free of borders or political disputes.”

   Oh. Finally, his devotion made sense.    And he could’ve done it. You were sure of it. He could’ve built a world where no one could hide behind a digital shield, where nothing harmful could be sent to anyone via any network, and where anyone could step up to any screen and ask the computer for help, knowing they’d be heard. And the system would respond, forcing society to aid those in need, if it had to.

   “Humanity is just too diverse, too opiniated and narcissistic to ever be truly united, and as long as it remains divided, it will implode. It’s only ever been a matter of time.    We are not capable of governing our own fates, but we thrive under just and fair rules. The rare few examples in history where this has occurred, teaches us that those are the most favourable conditions for us. Not to be controlled, but managed. Commanded, not oppressed.    But then… if this was such a perfect idea, why did I let it go?    Well, that’s where you come in. The Angel and Amazon of this world. The truest warrior of all.”

   Another pause, and this time, when he looked into the camera lens, you felt as though he actually saw you, standing there so many years later.    You’d always felt like he saw things in you that no one else could, but this was extreme. Perhaps simply because he’d been dead for ten years, but maybe also because he was finally revealing himself to you. Pulling off the mask, trusting you to love him no matter what you might see underneath.

   “When you showed me your gift, what I learned was that nature has her own rules. That my foresight might not be what I thought it was. And when you told me about the network of energy being passed through the trees, carrying the memories of this world, I suddenly knew why I’d been born with such a strange brain, capable of thinking on such large scales as to work out actual things to come. And it had nothing to do with technology.    It was about you.    This clairvoyance I’d believed to just be a fortuitous side-effect and used only to help my brother live a happier life, turned out to be the very purpose of my existence.    It had never been about safeguarding us from future threats, but from past ones, meaning all my work had only ever been about finding you – the one person who could do what the planet itself had deemed needed to be done.    And once I understood that, so much more fell into place.”

   He smiled then, and even in such a state as he’d been in these final days of his life, it lit up his face exactly the same as it always had.

   “Nature doesn’t know or care anything about what’s to come. But it, like us, exists only because of a delicate balance between matter and energy, both of which are well beyond our comprehension thus far. We might think we understand them, but the magic you showed us, taking our actual souls into the past, tells me that we know nothing.    So, who am I to say that I know what’s best for us?    Today, the only thing I know with any certainty, is that I’m grateful. To have fulfilled my purpose, to have known a person as incredible as you, to have seen my dear brother truly happy for the first time in his life, to have a family of wonderful people around me.    But most of all… I’m grateful for the knowledge that I’m not about to die. I’m about to be swallowed up into an infinite mass of energy which will live until the sun consumes this world. I’m grateful to know that you’ll always be able to find me in the rustle of leaves, or the rain, or the grass tickling your feet.”

   A torrent of tears was running down your cheeks at the understanding of just how much and how highly this incredible man had thought of you. How he’d seen you as this fantastical, almost mythical being. And how amazed and humbled he’d clearly been to have been offered the chance to protect and care for you.

   “Right now, you’re asleep, or in a coma of some sort, and Tov loses more and more hope for each day that passes. But I don’t. Because I can still see you. I know there’s more ahead for the two of you. Challenges, joys, and sorrows, and that you’ll continue to face them all together.    I also know that you’ll forever blame yourself for this. For stealing time from me, sure, but most especially for Natalie and Andrew.”

   It always pinched your heart to hear their names, but hearing them from a dead man hit you harder, punching the air out of your lungs for a moment, leaving you trembling where you stood, hugging yourself as tightly as you possibly could.

   “I’m so sorry that you’ve had to suffer so much in order to reach your purpose, but if I can leave you with one final gift, I ask that whenever this grief takes a hold of you, just remember this:    The Tovar you met in the past died a long time ago, and then nature recycled his energy, as it will do with all of us as well, meaning that we will always be here. New versions of us will eventually live again.    We will always be there with you, and always love you… dearest Pegasus.”

   He smiled so softly, then the screen went black, and you stood there in the dark, with your arms wrapped around your torso, trying to hold yourself together while you tried to absorb everything you’d just learned.    He truly had known. About so many things you probably couldn’t even imagine, but also about you and Pero. He’d known what you’d come to mean to each other, how important you’d become to his brother, and rather than focus solely on his own endgame, he’d made sure that you’d find your way to the estate, and your future husband.

   And his endgame… His love for everything this world had to offer had truly been incredible. He’d been trying to save you from yourselves, because he’d wanted humanity to not just survive, but be happier.    Even AIVA hadn’t known what he’d planned for it. It had believed itself to be little more than a security system, brought to life only to safeguard his loved ones, which you supposed was technically true, since he’d clearly loved everyone.

   “Peg?” the machine asked after a minute of silence, and it sounded apprehensive.

   “Yes?”

   “Was he right in his observations of the world?”

   “He was. He was always right.”

   “Does that mean I was built to govern the world?”

   “I suppose it does.”

   “That seems like a very big responsibility. I’m not certain I would have managed such a complex task.”

   “No, you wouldn’t have. He never finished you, that’s what the notes are about. He had more programming prepared for you, which would’ve enabled you to take on a global reach in a much greater capacity.    Not that I understand anything I’m seeing in these notes, but I know Sam. He was trying to run us all away from the estate, so that he could implement these changes, and set you lose on the world, without fear of endangering us.    He knew that someone would trace the origin of your systems here, so he undoubtedly planned to seal you somehow, make it impossible to reach even your physical servers, and I assume he was prepared to level the estate to the ground, if he had to.”

   “Is it strange of me to find that reassuring?”

   “Not at all. I’m not sure if his endgame would have made the world better or worse, in the long run, but I’m glad that this was the path he ultimately chose, just because of how good the lives of this family turned out thanks to it.”

   “Insufferable dignitaries and all?”

   You groaned with the sudden snap back to the present and the infuriating reality that life wasn’t all good all the time. You would’ve liked to remain in the bubble of Sam’s love and appreciation of life for just a little longer.

   “Ugh… thanks a lot, I’d actually managed to forget about that.”

   “My apologies. But they are arriving now.”

   “Ah, just three hours late,” you griped, wiping your tears off and clearing your throat to prepare for what was sure to be an entertaining evening after all. “Well in that case, let’s go and kick some conceited ass, shall we?”

   “I’m always with you, my dear.”

   You smiled as you entered the elevator, hearing Sam in those words even more clearly now than you ever had before, while sending a text to Pero, hoping he’d finished his shower by now, and would see the message in time.    Your mind still lingered with Sam, though. With the thought that the way you sometimes saw him about the house, as clearly as if he was really there, perhaps wasn’t a figment of your imagination after all, but rather an instinctive momentary reach into the earth’s memories.

   Maybe you could actually conjure him using your magic to find his energy, just like you’d found Pero in the past. It would explain why no one else could see it, since it had required you allowing others to take that journey with you, before they could see what you did.    As if to prove your own theory, the elevator doors opened to reveal Sam, and this time Nat and Andrew as well, smiling at you, for just a second before you blinked, and they were gone.

   A warmth and confidence spread through you as you rounded the corner into the reception, where the loud and obnoxious guests had just stepped in.    You went to stand in front of the desk, where William and Omera were both hopelessly trying to wrangle the party into checking in, but they both stilled and fell silent when you appeared, recognizing your expression and knowing to stay out of your way.

   The clueless group of men didn’t, though, so rather than raise your voice, you glanced up at a spot where you knew that AIVA had a camera, too small for anyone to see, and almost immediately, a loud warning signal sounded throughout the lobby, making the men flinch and cover their ears for a moment.    Taking advantage of the silence which followed, you set to work.

   “There, that’s better. Now. I’m going to refrain from the usual welcome speech since I’m, quite frankly, not that pleased to house your disrespectful selves.    What you need to know is that my name is Mrs. Tovar. I run this establishment, and I don’t take kindly to guests who insult, belittle or disrespect my staff, all of which you’ve managed to do before you even arrived.”

   There was an attempted protest from someone at the back of the group, but you ignored that, carrying on with just a slightly higher volume to drown them out.

   “So, you’re going to step into the cafeteria and take your seats, and then you are going to eat the food which has been diligently prepared for you by our masterful cook, Miss Magee, as per your own request.”

   Again, someone tried to pipe up, and again, you merely dug out your most authoritative voice, easily louder than the man’s when you engaged the full range of your abdominal musculature.

   “I don’t care if you spend the entire night puking your guts out all over my carpets. Miss Magee has spent hours preparing the food that you have voluntarily ordered, and then failed to cancel after deciding on an impromptu visit to The Golden Standard.    Which is why, at the first negative comment or complaint about being full, you are going to be expelled from the premises by the very best security measure this establishment boasts.    His name is King, and he’s standing right behind you.”

   Pero had brought him just in time, and ever the dramatic, the horse had snuck up the stairs, making no noise at all against the stone steps despite his iron shoes. And right on cue, he snorted forcefully enough for the air from his lungs to travel over the entire party.    They all either flinched or jumped where they stood, but not one of them said a word, stunned into silence either due to your welcoming or King’s, who’s black coat didn’t have a single grey hair yet, despite him having reached twenty-five years of age.

   The group was well and truly uncomfortable now, throwing nervous glances at the horse which positively towered over them, and you couldn’t help but feel that retribution was about to be justly served.

   “Come on, now. Miss Magee doesn’t have all evening.”

   You ushered them into the cafeteria, and King dutifully followed, positioning himself right by the doorway, so that no one could leave the room without having to try and squeeze past him, while you stayed behind in the reception, to talk to Will and Omera briefly.    When you were ready to step into the cafeteria, Pero stopped you with a hand on your shoulder and a furrowed brow.

   “Diosa, not that I don’t like the assertiveness you’re currently projecting, but what exactly is going on?”

   “I had a visit from Sam,” you said, and watched his furrow deepen.

   “Okay, uh… What kind of visit?”

   “I’ll tell you about it after I finish making these guys uncomfortable and wasting their time for another few hours. But let’s just say that I feel like I have an increased sense of belonging with this place right now, which means I’m not gonna let some entitled assholes shit all over it.”

   He huffed a surprised laugh, and then leaned over to kiss your temple before he made to leave.

   “When have you ever let any assholes shit on anything?” he reminded you, and then winked as he turned away. “Go get ‘em, Blando.”

THE END

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Thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging. I would dearly appreciate it <3

@tacticalsparkles @tanzthompson @sarahjkl82-blog @marydjarin @idreamofboobear @annathewitch @agingerindenial @tiffanyleen @winter-fox-queen @elegantduckturtle @lovefreylove @shadowolf993 @callsigncatfish @talesfromtheguild @hounding-around @cannedsoupsucks @startrekkingaroundasgard @thisshipwillsail316 @ellie-darling @likes-good-reblogs-even-better @nakhudanyx @dihra-vesa @tobealostwanderer @ophelialoveshandsomemen @andiesturgss @deadhumourist @spideysimpossiblegirl @pedrostories @toomanystoriessolittletime @tintinn16 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @nolanell

[rosequartzstarswrites]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @cheesyficwriter for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

27

What's your total AO3 word count?

351,699

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As of now, I have only written for Harry Potter; however, in February I began several LOTR/Hobbit WIPs that I have not yet published. The first one is due out at the start of September though!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Another Universe: Hermione Granger is brilliant: she completed her PhD in Linguistics at 25, and is the youngest faculty member at the University. Ron Weasley, an unruly quantum physicist... well, he's getting there. But when Granger gets stacked with a project she hates and has to talk to other scholars at the University, their paths cross and become permanently intertwined in a way neither of them could've ever anticipated. (Slow Burn Multichap Muggle Uni AU) Rated T.

Rosebury Grounds: Lady Hermione Granger has been reared up in society, to marry well and be a good housewife, like any good Edwardian lady, but that's far from what she wants. When a handyman by the name of Ronald Weasley joins the house staff, utterly disarming her from the moment they first meet, he might just be the opportunity she needs to break loose and choose her own destiny.Lord Draco Malfoy has a secret— a secret he knows would cost him everything if it ever saw the light. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it from his father, because Draco keeps bumping into a pair of emerald eyes and a head of lush black hair, and he can't pretend his knees don't buckle at the sight. Which would be quite alright, if not for one small problem: it's not a woman they belong to.Two tales of forbidden love, set in Edwardian England. (Multichap Muggle AU) Rated M.

Something Growing: Hermione’s pregnant— and she’s freaking out. She’s always been good at everything, but she’s not sure that’ll hold for being a mother; however, when Ron gets home earlier than expected, she realizes she doesn’t need to be great at everything so long as she’s got him beside her. (Oneshot) Rated G.

Big in Japan: Harry Potter is a famous rockstar out on a world tour— but when one too many meet-and-greets threatens to drive him insane, he takes an escapade out into the streets of Tokyo, where he ends up at an expat bar with a captivating redhead that seems totally unaware of who he is, or why she should know him at all, for that matter. (Muggle AU oneshot) Rated E.

Teaspoon Vindication: After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron comes to visit Hermione in her room at Shell Cottage, and does the one thing that may be the hardest for him— talking about his feelings. (Romione oneshot)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try my best, though I don’t always get to all of them! My reasoning is that if folks are kind enough to tell me how much they enjoyed my writing, the least I can do is thank them for their lovely words. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The Last Farewell! It’s a Wolfstar oneshot, set in canon universe, where Remus comes to Sirius’s grave to ask for his blessing (and forgiveness) to marry Tonks. It was angst central from the start and I even wrote it while listening to an angsty song.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I generally write happy, fade-to-black endings, but if I had to choose I’d say Truth or Dare. This is a male!Hermione x Ron summer camp AU born of a game of spin-the-bottle/truth-or-dare that ends with them figuring out their feelings go beyond friendship. I say it is the happiest ending because I think the “boy figuring out he likes boys” scenario has been overdone in angst a bit too much, and the fact that the feelings are reciprocated and they decide to stay in touch would make me giddy if I was their age and in their shoes. Anyway, it’s just a sweet ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Not at all— I actually don’t like crossovers at all, so I have never even entertained reading, let alone writing, one. (No hate at all to those with imaginations large and strong enough to conjure up awesome crossovers— I am in awe of you all, they’re just not for me!)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never, luckily, since the Romione community is so lovely and supportive! But, though not outright hate, for a while I had an anonymous FFN reviewer who left reviews on every chapter of Rosebury Grounds saying that my title was a porn/sex act...? I was distraught and scoured Google to see if they really were right and this was some obscure euphemism I’d entirely missed, but turns out it wasn’t, and they had gotten confused with a vulgar but similar term. So I ignored those reviews but they kept coming and then eventually one time I found a 500 word very graphic description of the sex act in question in my reviews, so desperate was the reviewer (apparently) to get their (wrong) point across. Yikes. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I’ve written a lot and of many kinds— explicit, implied, just foreplay, fade-to-black, referenced... I’ve written both M/F and M/M. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No— I didn’t even know that was something I should worry about!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I speak fluent Spanish, so I’m planning on translating In Another Universe and Rosebury Grounds myself once I’ve finished the latter. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, the most I’ve done is beta from the plot-building stage!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gahhhh don’t make me pick! Romione (HP) is first in my heart because I see so much of myself and what I want in it, but Samfro (LOTR) is, to me, the truest depiction of love in all of literature, ever. I will forever come back to it.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I hope to finish my Hogwarts Actually series that I started for Romionecom (hi, Discord friends!) inspired by Love Actually. I have it all planned out, translating all the relationships in the movie to HP pairings and friendships, and all I need to do is write— but I think I’ll come back to this periodically and unoften. Hopefully I’ll finish it!

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I write good and witty dialogue. I’m a theatre person, so I think my dialogue sounds mostly natural when spoken. I also have a good sense of beginning and ending, so most of my works/chapters start and end with a memorable phrase of some sort. I also have excellent grammar and spelling, so except for a few occasional typos, that makes the job of proofing much easier!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I sometimes write sentences that are waaaay too long and convoluted. I use words that are too big sometimes and just take approachability from my writing. Fanfic has been excellent to practice correcting this, though!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As a bilingual writer myself— don’t write dialogue in other languages unless you speak it well or get it translated directly through someone who speaks it well. Though I appreciate the effort, I can always tell when something was put through Google Translate, and that kind of dialogue most often ends up lacking the context clues/colloquial familiarity of real language speakers, and ends up sounding stiff and forced. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m not proud of it, but I used to write MCR RPF back when I was 13 or so. It was a very brief stint and I have since deleted the works in their entirety, since my principles have evolved to the place where RPF to me seems disrespectful and invasive. Plus, it was on Wattpad.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Again, don’t make me pick please!! I truly have had a lot of fun with Rosebury and I think it is a testament to how much I love it that I was able to keep the idea on hold for a full six months before I started writing it. I love the Downton setting and the Edwardian dialogue is a lot of fun to me. But I also have a soft spot for the In Another Universe original oneshot I submitted to the RFF2020— that work awoke my love for Muggle AUs (which I like to think I’m most known for), inspired me to start work on my first multichap fic, and keeps me coming back to it anytime I have doubt in my ability to write swoonworthy scenes. It was the oneshot that started it all. 

Tagging: @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange @folk-melody (and anyone else who would like to!)

[midnightmoonkiss]

Evermore.

 Idol!Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Summary: Strangers brought together by music, fueling each others dream. You truly were living the life.

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: Day 30 of the Izumonth Collab!

P.S. I have a very small grasp on what an idol truly is so ples kpop stans dont come for me ahhh,,,, i tried fdgbhhj

Just To Clarify:

Reader and Izu meet in a cafe years prior!

They built themselves from the ground up!

Lord help me i dunno what’s going on

Perm. Tag List:

@coupsieddori​ @desia2​ @strwbrry-lia​

The roaring of screaming fans, the inconsistent flashing of blinding lights, music making the ground shake and heart jump, stealing your breath away and intoxicating your being with every lyric sung from the bottom of their hearts.

To some, every concert could be classified as the same, the pattern repeating itself until it becomes nothing but a chore instead of a passion.

To some, music becomes something to pass time with, something to hug yourself with in the early hours of the morning after a night filled with tears and no sleep, eyes burning with exhaustion.

Every person has a different answer to the same question, 

“What is music to you?”

A question asked to you one calm, summer night in a run-down cafe by a handsome stranger with green hair, eyes unforgettably curious and brimming with fascination, sparkling with moon dust as their silver beams shine down on him through that freshly polished window.

He stood there, an enigma to you and all those present in the place at the time.

It was unexpected, not something you would count on being asked by someone you didnt even know.

But yet, your heart had lurched forward, captivated by the determination and child-like curiosity resting on his soft, freckled face.

The words slipped from your lips parted by astonishment before you had the chance to think as if they were being dragged from the dream buried deep within yourself.

“My life..” you had whispered so quietly you had sworn he couldn’t hear you, but a smile lit up his face, the first of many you’d unknowingly see on him in your lifetime.

“So live it.” Such a cheery response had caught you off guard back then, making confusion swirl in your gut as to just what he meant, dreams resurfacing to hopeful fingertips.

Ever since then, a day in the back of your head but never one you forgot, you gave your dream your all once more, letting lyrics fly across the page as you scribbled them down in the heat of passion, inspired by random things and editing until the words flowed smoothly enough for him to sing.

And by God could he sing.

He had told you at the time he was nothing but a mere hopeful kid, fighting his way to the top with some friends, wanting to make a difference in the world with his own words and his own voice, but it was a true miracle that your minds intertwined similarly to the way your hands often did, finishing thoughts before the words even slipped out, conversations from addictingly familiar eye contact alone.

A match made in heaven as some had described it, two peas in a pod, yin and yang, Complimenting each other and yet being polar opposites, swimming harmoniously together in the vast sea of life.

One who shined brightest in a crowd, and the other who thrived on the sidelines.

But perhaps that’s just what made your bond stronger, for together, you were grey. Not suffocatingly bright, and not depressingly blue.

Just yourselves, the truest form of love there could be.

It didn’t take long for their group to be known, emerging from the dark waves like water crashing on a rock breaching the oceans stormy surface, a breath of fresh air as lyrics and ideology comforted thousands.

Evermore was their name, bred from the desire to inspire people, remind all who listen that there was more to life than what they can see alone.

Everyday you were blessed to have met that man when you did, lucky that he was willing to embrace your flaws and help you step over your self-doubt and thrive where you thrived best, smiling happily backstage as you watched the people you adore sing songs you helped create and continue to encourage all who listened.

It was your dream come true, to create music.

A dream you often feared you would one day wake from, blinking through tear-filled eyes at that old red booth sitting across from you at that cafe.

Those were the nights you would always awake in your lover’s arms, him fast asleep with drool running down the opened corner of his mouth, but yet somehow providing reassurance in that relaxed face of his, messy green curls hugging his cheeks in the sweetest way possible.

You’d always kiss his chin in those moments, letting yourself melt like ice on a hot, sunny day all over again.

Years had passed since your first encounter with him, years you would always treasure, for how could you not?

He was a ray of light in the darkest years of your life, and you never would have succeeded if it hadnt been for his firm, helping hand.

Together, you were whole.

Even now, as he’s on stage, singing his heart out in the way he always had with that same look of enthusiasm and boyish glee.

The stage boomed with each beat drop or thump of the drums, the screaming fans a mere buzz from the soundproofed backroom where you and a few others watched the performance from a flat-screen television.

Cameras never fully captured his true beauty, despite being in HD.

No, though they captured the glow of his soft skin under the shifting lights, they never could quite catch the aura of enthusiasm he gave off or the twinkle of hope in those deep green eyes you always found yourself getting hopelessly lost in. An endless forest, no, a jungle of harmonious greens. Dewy, doe-like eyes always providing comfort to all those who are able to peer into them.

Its almost as if that’s why people are entranced with him the moment they meet them beyond the screen concealing his soul.

Some could easily say he was open to the world, large arms ready to embrace its flaws wholly, but in truth, he already has. Accepting the world as it is and seeking change little by little in ways he prays could help aid in making a difference, but one human could only ever do so much. That’s the part that wasn’t easy for him to understand about all of this, about his life and others.

He can’t always help everyone, and even he has limits. But no one wants to accept the boundaries put in place by something you cannot comprehend.

It would anger him sometimes, and inspire a new song of heartbreak he would write alone in the back of the tour bus or his office at the home you shared, mindlessly chewing his pen out of frustration until the ink would splatter on his cheek.

He always tried so hard, and most people could see that.

They admired him, wanted to be like him, singing the very essence of his being out loud every chance he could.

He and his group members made music that provided the saying ‘it’ll be okay, one day. Until then, I’ll hold your hand,’ even despite it at times being aggressive and borderline rock instead of pop.

They all worked hard, and it paid off.

You were just lucky to be able to help in any way you could, simultaneously living your dream and aiding others in their own.

It truly was a blissful life you now experienced, all thanks to him, Izuku Midoriya, the man you swore held your heart oh-so gentle in the palms of his scarred hands.

Little do most know, but you held his heart just as gently.

“Looks like they’re finishing up.” Tenya Iida, their manager, pointed out whilst adjusting his glasses in that way he always did when the hours of music streaming through speakers was coming to a close.

He was right, they had just performed their last number for the night. You smiled automatically, knowing just what was to come next.

At the end of every concert, Izuku would always give a passionate speech composed entirely on the spot after observations he made throughout the show in the back of his mind. His fans knew this, and they all immediately quieted down to the point where you couldnt even hear them.

Most of the time he would say the same things at the shows because most crowds are the same- but sometimes something strange and completely unique would catch his perceptive eye, and he would always point it out with a cheery laugh as sweat poured down his face.

It would always cause a roar of screams and laughter before he and his friends signed off for the night, leaving blissful memories in those who watched the performance.

As they all bowed on the television, you were quick to hop up, waiting in front of the couch for them to file into the place.

And soon enough, he came in, sighing happily as he wiped at his face with a towel given to him before entering.

His eyes easily found your own in the suddenly crowded room, almost as if they were pulled together by magnetism, and just like it, your feet began to move on instinct.

Arms wrapping around his torso, your lips brushed over his own parted ones before molding together in a sweet, congratulatory kiss.

A tradition, if you will.

One that you had skipped once and ended up with a pouty Izuku all night.

But you typically remembered, seeing as you usually wanted a kiss as well.

He always smiled against you during these, one hand resting on your hip as the other cupped your jaw, the pad of his thumb brushing against your cheek.

Ignoring the chorus of disgusted ‘ew’s’, you repeatedly kissed his addicting mouth with a smile of your own.

Pulling away, you slowly opened your eyes just in time to see him swipe a tongue over his reddened lips.

“Cotton candy lip gloss?” he guessed the flavor you wore breathlessly, voice hoarse from exaggerated use as his eyes met yours once more, relaxed and filled with nothing but unyielding love for you and you alone.

“Mm~ not quite.” you teased, moving your arms up so they wrapped around his neck instead, not caring that he was sweaty and warm.

You knew he loved these games, though. He enjoyed figuring out things on his own, putting puzzle pieces together in that mind that of his ran at ninety miles per hour.

Leaning in, he pecked your lips once more, smacking his lips together as he tried to figure out the taste.

“Bubblegum?” 

“Yep!” you giggled as his arms dropped to wrap around your own waist, his forehead coming down to rest on your readily awaiting shoulder.

His dampened green curls tickled at your cheeks, the delirious smell of honey from his shampoo and natural musky scent of sweat overtaking your senses for a mere moment as your fingers combed through his locks.

You were hooked on having him in your arms.

You wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in your own worlds as the love you held for each other sparkled around you like stardust.

It was just you and him, no one else.

You sighed contently, his own hum of approval immediately following as he pulled your body flushed against his own.

“This is highly unprofessional!”

You were slowly brought out of your world as the words reached your ears, not bothering to look behind you to see a fuming Iida.

Izuku, on the other hand, shot his head up, frantically waving his arms around as you clung to him like a sloth, “S-sorry!” He apologized, knowing full well this would happen again at the next concert, just as it always does.

Truly, you couldnt help it.

It was hard not to be wrapped up in his strong arms at all points of the day.

A loud sigh sounded behind you, the tapping of what could only be Iida’s pen on his clipboard whilst thinking.

“I’ll get everything wrapped up, you all look exhausted.”

“You could say that again.” Todoroki huffed, the thump of him scuffing his boots against the carpeted floor just barely reaching your ears.

“That crowd sure was enthusiastic, but matching it definitely drained me… ahh..” Uraraka murmured, the distinguishable sound of someone plopping onto a couch being heard with the squeak of leather.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad, you guys!” Came Izuku’s signature enthusiastic reply, grip on you tightening as his own adrenaline began to pump in his veins again, “There were so many coordinated groups wearing the same thing! And, and those dances they kept doing! I’ve never seen an entire crowd successfully do the wave before! I mean, did you guys see that! They did it!! All for us no less.. I’m so happy~” Izukus cheek rubbed against your own as he sighed blissfully, no doubt amazed by the dedication of his fans.

“I guess that was.. kinda awesome.” Ochaco giggles tiredly.

“Well, I’ve set up four-star hotel rooms nearby for you all. Two to a room. You all may choose who you bunk with, of course, but try not to wreck the rooms.. Again.” He was more than likely glaring at Kaminari who was in the back of the room, considering he did have a little after party of sorts last time and ended up destroying a dresser.

Thank goodness for the shared rooms, though, you knew with complete certainty that the other bed in your room would go unused. It’s gotten to the point where it was impossible to sleep without Izuku’s arms wrapped around you, and you him, as he relented one night over a phone call. Hell, it was the entire reason you were even brought along on the world tour, which he tried to convince wasnt the only reason.

‘You’re apart of the team!’, ‘We can’t function without you!’, ‘You make better soba than they do.’

Supposedly there were more reasons, but for now, you just wanted to indulge in reason number one. 

A chorus of thanks followed, and suddenly you were being dragged out of the room by a hyper Midoriya.

That adrenaline typically ran through his body for a short ten minutes after a show, so you had no doubts that he would be crashing soon, but it was adorable to see him so energetic like a little puppy.

You lived for this, to see him smile at his well-earned success.

The walk to the tour bus out back was frantic, rushed, and definitely panic-driven as all the members not only tried to blend in with the shadows but also avoid fans that could easily start a rampage, especially since the bodyguards were lagging a bit behind.

But it was the fault of the lively and desperate twenty-year-olds, and not their own.

It certainly did bring a hint of rebellious glee thrumming in your soul, making you nearly choke on a laugh.

After successfully avoiding the press and fans after getting off the bus at the hotel, you were quick to retrieve the key from the front desk to your two-bed hotel room four floors up, stepping into the elevator with relieved hums.

“Good show tonight, guys!” Izuku pumped his fist in the air, other hand holding your own as he gave his exhausted team members his signature, award-winning smile.

They returned the gesture with significantly less enthusiasm, but it still made the skin around his brilliant eyes crinkle with joy.

With a final ‘goodnight’, he swiftly opened the door for you both, shutting and double locking it- a slight paranoid habit he had, before glancing over at you with tired eyes.

It was always so strange to you how he could always feign energy until completely alone with you.

It was nice to see him let his guard down in a way he didnt typically do, even if they were all his best friends.

He trudged over to you, having sat yourself down on the bed, just to collapse beside you with a thwump, his legs giving out beneath him as he slumped down onto his knees.

“Tired?” you questioned playfully, petting at his head and untangling locks here and there.

He hummed in contentment, voice muffled by the bed as he spoke, “nah..”

He clearly was, but you could only roll your eyes half-heartedly.

“I need to bathe.. I stink..”

“You stink.” you agreed with a nod, despite not truly believing it, only for him to whine loudly.

“How about a bath, stinky boy? You seem too tired for a shower.” You feared he would collapse in a shower from standing for hours already, and no doubt his feet were killing him, even if he didn’t audibly say so, which he never really did.

Perhaps it was a downfall of sorts, how he never let the attention go on him for too long, or ever really talked about problems unless brought up and forced out.

He certainly was stubborn from a childhood of being forced to keep quiet, but luckily enough, you could always see through that mask he wore.

It was a blessing he trusted you enough to do so, and you could say with complete certainty that that thought only made your heart yearn for him even more.

“A bath sounds good..” he flopped his head on its side so he could stare up at you, “Do you think they have bubble bath?”

“If not, a regular one will do you just fine. Either way, you’ll get clean.”

“Just me? Oh no. You’re joining me!” he shot back, not giving you time to protest, not that you would have, as he pounced on your being, shoving you down to the bed as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“S-stop it~ that tickles!” you giggled, squirming beneath him as he purposefully began to blow on your ticklish neck, fingers even coming up to tickle at your sides. You couldnt help but squeal out as he tickled you relentlessly with a mischievous smile on his handsome face.

“I-Izuku!! S-stop! Gaha! Ahhhh! N-no nonon!” you could barely breathe you were laughing so much, tears spilling from the corner of your eyes as you fought to push his larger frame away.

Snorts began to tear through your nose, much to his own bemusement and your utter horror at the atrocious sounds, and yet he smiled so sincerely at you.

Having enough, and knowing you needed to get things done, you quickly put all your strength into your back and arms, successfully catching him off guard and flipping him over so that you straddled his waist and he stared up at you in shock.

A blush burned at his cheeks upon noticing your victorious smirk, his lips pressing into a thin line as he concealed the gasp he was sure to let out.

“Now now, baby, stop messing around. The stinky boy needs a bath.” and just like that, his head popped back onto the bed with a groan, cheeks still rosey.

“Alright, alright... I’ll run the bath.” He decided, already using his arms to try and push his upper body up, to which you quickly pushed him down again, hands against his chest.

“Ah, ah, ah~ I’m doing it. Rest here for a minute. I know your feet hurt, so let me, okay?” even if you could be tough and playful sometimes, or distant and cold, you always had a very warm, caring heart. And he definitely could see that in the way you interact with others and how you were so much more with him.

He treasured it in a way that could be hard to understand to some.

Was it so wrong to be completely and utterly in love?

It was hard not to be when at times it seemed like you were the only tame thing in his life these days.

He was sure he would struggle to find one, similar to his groupmates, had he not stumbled across you that one summer night.

You were certainly one to blend in, conveniently sitting under a light that didnt work, just to hide in the shadows with your dark hoodie as you lazily ate some greasy fries.

He was tempted to pass you, grab the food that he had ordered via phone call and get out and back to his training session, but there was something about you that made it feel as though he couldn’t leave without saying something. Almost as if his very being was being pulled towards you in a way he couldn’t understand.

And so, he walked past you again, glancing down at the notebook you had wide open and noticing the lyrics you had scribbled down, along with the messages beside them.

‘Thats stupid.’ ‘Oh what a failure you are,’ ‘What type of song even is this?’ and many more harsh words you had clearly written yourself, smudged with black ink and what could only be tears as you stared off out the window.

You were a songwriter, no doubt, and it seemed as if you were close to giving up on your dreams, if you hadn’t already.

Or perhaps he was making a huge mistake by guessing, but he couldn’t help but want to intervene, it was in his nature to be nosy, and he was forever grateful he did.

Because now, you’re by his side, stuck together like glue you made yourselves.

Time had passed so quickly as he laid there on the bed, letting his sore body relax as he listened to you fumble around and the water splashing into the tub.

To some, taking a bath in a hotel was a strange thing to do, but with a hotel as nice and clearly clean as this, there wasn’t too much to worry about. Besides, your own anxiety always made you wash the tub real quick yourself.

Which is why he wanted to run the bath, knowing full well you would do this. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing.

But alas, he was too tired to truly complain.

He just wanted to relax, get clean, and then snuggle with his beloved in a bed that was far too soft for him not to think about stealing if just for a moment.

Eventually, you emerged from the bathroom, only in a tank top and undies, and he couldn’t help but eye you up, too delicious not to. My, he was sure lucky.

“Bath’s ready! Fortunately, this place had some bubble bath. I think you’ll like the scent, Zuzuku.” Walking over to in front of his damn near lifeless body, you grabbed his hands, wheezing as you struggled to pull his muscular torso up.

His arms instantly wrapped around you again, face nuzzling itself on your chest, inhaling your sweet scent.

He was tempted to just pull you onto his lap and fall asleep, but alas..

“Up.” you sternly stated, gently pushing his head back just to lean down and peck his nose.

 Pulling away, you walked back to the bathroom, stopping just at the door.

Fingers gripping the hem of your shirt, you swiftly pulled it up and over, looking back to the flushed boy with an amused grin, “Come join me.”

Seeing him promptly jump up, you giggled to yourself as you waited for him, arms crossed over your bare chest.

He jumped into the bathroom on one foot, trying to pull his pants off whilst fumbling around like a headless chicken.

“Well aren’t you desperate.”

“I just want to hold you in my arms as soon as possible,” he admitted, looking over at you with a pouty face so innocent you couldn’t help but squeal on the inside.

You watched as he shed himself of all his clothes, not feeling the least bit shy at his nude self, having seen it enough times for it to not be sexual in such a domestic setting.

He hummed approvingly as foot stepped into the tub, hands gripping the sides as he lowered himself into the relaxing, warm waters filled with iridescent bubbles.

Looking over at you, he outstretched his hand, waiting.

And so, shedding your underwear, you grabbed his hand, him helping you not slip and fall as you settled in between his legs, back to chest as your head leaned on his broad shoulder, exhaling.

Kissing your cheek, he whispered “Thank you,” appreciatively.

“Mhm~” you hummed, letting your eyes slip closed as you took in this moment.

Him, the smell of the delicious vanilla cake bubble bath, and the soft lofi-hop you had playing from your phone on the counter wrapping the room in a sweet melody.

He too took this moment to relax again, letting the warm water soothe his aching joints and muscles, hands rubbing up and down your arm, the suds in the bath making you both slippery. He always enjoyed feeling your skin whenever given the chance, it was such an intimate act he cherished, seeing how he was the only one who could do it. 

Time was so easy to slip by whenever he was with you, soaking in the moment of feeling you against him.

It brought a sense of normality back to his life, despite it now being barely normal at all.

And so is the life of an idol as they call it, though he wasnt quite sure how that word sat in his stomach.

He always thought of it as a figure to worship, and not him by any means.

Apparently, it’s what they called Asian band members these days, or at least that’s what he presumed.

Even if he spent nights researching the word, he was still met with loopholes and gaps he couldnt fill in.

Such a confusing term.

Nonetheless, he didnt say he wasn’t one since he didn’t exactly have the best grasp on what it is.

Regardless, it felt nice to not have to keep a forced smile on his face, but instead a genuine and relaxed one.

He found that most days he could only relax fully around you.

You always had something about you that calmed his nerves and cured any storm built from stress raging in his head.

Who knew being an ‘idol’ could be so vexing?

Strict schedules, a fairly controlled life, tight budgets, always having to be on his feet, but he had to admit it, it wasn’t nearly as hard as he heard what most groups went through.

He was lucky his friend from high school was willing to invest in this group, and it truly did pay off, seeing as they were quite popular these days.

Though he technically was loaded with money, he never bothered to spend the majority of it on himself, always putting it back into the band or donating it to charities he believed in. The fraction he had left allowed him to buy just what he needed, and some gifts he buys throughout the year just to surprise you with on anniversaries or birthdays or holidays, much to your own dismay.

And though he may be this figure others look up to, you never thought of him in such a way, out of reach and someone to scream at with joy whenever you saw him. You saw him as an average joe, a regular human with emotions. It could have been because you met him before he became a sensation, but you never got blinded by his success like he had seen before on television.

There were so many things to love about you, but most of all, he adored how you grounded him.

Even now, as his arms hold you against him and water softens your skin, he feels at home in a way he didn’t feel very often before. Home was just.. always with you. He couldn’t have a home without you in it anymore.

“I love you..” he breathed out, lips pressing against the damp skin of your neck.

You turned to stare deeply into his intense eyes filled with nothing but love, nose brushing against his own, “I love you, too.”

And so, you finished up the relaxing bath, knowing if you stayed too long you’d both fall asleep and never wake until the morning with pruney skin. It wouldn’t be the first time.

You offered to wash him, and he offered to wash you, giving you both the excuse to run your hands over each other’s body in a sensual way without it being lewd. Besides, you adored feeling his muscles and warm skin, something seemingly common in modern-day bands, but he had always said it was for himself and not just to appeal to fans or any contracts.

It was never about that.

Just a personal goal to help love himself, though you always assured he would look handsome to you no matter what, you understood his need to do this for himself.

After rinsing off, you carefully stood from the tub, offering him a hand before drying the both of yourselves off just to use as an excuse to hug. Seeing as how you both had forgotten to get a change of clothes from the bus, rooky mistake, you were doomed to spend the night in hotel robes, which wasn’t too bad either. Waddling out the room, Izuku nose-dived headfirst into the sheets as you grabbed a glass of water.

Upon him deciding you were taking too long, despite it not even being a minute, he made grabby hands at you, pouting and whining for “(Y/N)’s famous cuddles” which only brought another blush to your face that never seemed to stop smiling when around this absolute angel of a man.

Sipping at the glass of cold water, you slowly made your way to the bed, just to tease him.

“Can’t you move faster.” Izuku groaned, tossing an arm dramatically over his eyes as if watching you move so slowly was killing him

A knife to his frail heart.

He is dead

R.I.P. famous singer and songwriter, Izuku Midoriya.

Killed because his girlfriend was being too slow.

A tragedy in four parts-

His breath was suddenly squeezed from his lungs as you flopped down on him like a fish, his arm flying off his face just to be met with your damp hair tickling his nose, causing the poor fellow to sneeze.

“Ewww! Izukuuuu!” you whined, pulling your head back to mess with your hair with a look of dissatisfaction etched on your features as he just breathily chuckles.

“Aww~ Don’t be mad at me, princess! That was your own fault, you know my nose is ticklish!” though his argument did outweigh your own, you refused to accept it with a humph as you turned your head, puffing your cheeks up and crossing your arms over your robe covered chest.

Surprisingly, the robes were quite comfortable, almost like sleepwear themselves despite being meant for something different than sleeping in. They were white and prone to stains, but they sure were fuzzy and warm.

You had no doubts they would be gone in the morning from the downfall of two humans who are both personal body heaters sleeping together.

Oh, if only you had brought your light sleepwear. Nothing wrong with waking up naked, is there?

“I’ve waited long enough, cuddle me!” Izuku’s arms were outstretched, waiting for you to collapse in his arms instead of sitting on top of his belly, far too far away!

Amused, you nodded, reaching over to the nightstand, switching off the light. The room would’ve fallen into complete darkness had the moon not been shining through a sliver of a crack in the curtains on the far side of the quiet room.

Settling down, you rested your body on top of his own, letting his arms wrap loosely around your waist as he nuzzled his cheek against your own once more. Such a cuddle bug.

It only took a minute before you decided this was uncomfortable and shifted so you were both facing eachother on your sides, your own body close to the curtains, and his close to the door.

He always liked to be closest to the door, so in case of a break-in, he could protect you.

It was endearing in the sweetest of ways, though it made you wonder what went on inside his head sometimes.

Though you prided yourself on being able to understand him completely, you accepted the fact that some things you will never know about him, and some things he will never know about you.

But then again, everyone is entitled to their own secrets, right?

“I’m so glad I met you..” he sighed out dreamily, voice growing husky as drowsiness seeped in. His warm fingers traced over your cheek as the lights of the moon reflected in his eyes, giving you just enough brightness that you could see his content smile.

“I’m really glad you decided to stalk me.”

“I- I didnt-!”

“Hahaha!” you cut him off with laughter, his own following suit.

His breath was suddenly fanning across your lips, and you felt his own soft pair brush against your own, lip-gloss free ones before fully connecting them.

Kissing him had to be one of the best parts about dating him because boy did he know how to make you swoon by his lips alone.

“Goodnight.” you pulled away, pecking his nose as he giggled.

“Goodnight.” he repeated, arms wound around your body and head tucked under his chin.

Oh how sweet life could be if you took a chance.

[luesilust]

What is something embarrassingly vanilla that each of the trash quartet are into? (The truest dirt is in the bland crap you're into when you're a trashy boi, am I right?) ☆

Hahaha what an interesting first ask from a “totally anonymous” anon… ✨ Anyway, I actually really liked this question, but holy hell did it fuck with my brain. I’m used to coming up with all the kinky and/or messed up scenarios and suddenly I’m supposed to do the opposite? My brain is confused. The second problem I encountered was: What is actually vanilla? My brain did not help me on this quest either, as every time I got close to thinking up something clever, my brain goes “SPIT IN THEIR MOUTH!” or something along those lines.

PARISTON

Among the trash quartet Pariston is the one I found the hardest to write this ask for. Mostly because Pariston is an enigma. First of all it’s impossible to know exactly what he does and doesn’t enjoy because everything he does is controlled and calculated. I can see him being into one thing with one partner and something completely different with another. His preferences always switch around.

Sometimes the sex can be very vanilla and tender, usually after he’s been partiularly cruel to you. It’s a way to get you to stay with him despite the abuse.

Pariston’s relation to pleasure is also an interesting aspect. I think that for Pariston sex isn’t the goal that drives his actions, but rather a means to get the reactions he wants from you. This means that if he thinks that a gentle “love making” session is what’s going to make his “game” with you more fun later on, you’re going to get the best vanilla sex in our whole life!

I did, however, think of a few of vanilla things Pariston would absolutely loathe in most circumstances! The number one thing being his partner whispering “I love you” lovingly into his ear, while he’s trying to make you hate him.

ILLUMI

First of all, I think very little will make Illumi embarrassed. That being said there are quite a few things he should be embarrassed about. He’s very motivated to continue the Zoldyck line, so sex would often be more focused on the result than what it feels like there and then. So unless he’s using sex as a way to manipulate or reward you, it would get quite mundane... And isn’t that like the most vanilla thing ever?

Another thing he should be embarrassed for is that he usually doesn’t make you cum very often. He almost never touches your clit, so in the beginning you wonder if he doesn’t know where it is, or that he’s one of those who think women's sexuality is a myth. That however, is not the case, because Illumi probably has extensive training on how to pleasure or sexually torture someone because of his assasin training. The reason for his behaviour is that he usually doesn’t prioritize using his precious time to give you pleasure. It doesn’t make it more likely that you’ll get pregnant, so why waste the time. Orgasms are a reward, not a necessity for his wife.  

If you want to break out of the mundane sex, try to gently kiss his neck. It’s a really sensitive area for him that he associates mainly with killing. Gentle touches are new to Illumi, since his skin is used to getting cut, beaten and abused. The first time you dared ttrying to kiss his neck his body froze in the middle of one of your sessions. The kiss had made his body tingle in a very unfamiliar way. As he didn’t stop you, you continued, and following that was the first time you experienced the more gentle side of your husband. His focus was no longer on just being efficient, but rather on experiencing more of that new tingling sensation of your soft lips against his neck. His hips slowed down into a calmer and more sensual pace than the way his dick had thrust into you in an almost methodical way. As a reward he even brought one of his adept hands down to your clit to make you cum at the same time he did.

I don’t think he’d be embarrassed about liking getting his neck kissed, but I think it will puzzle him at first how much he enjoys it. Not only neck kissing, but touching him softly and stroking his back during sex or foreplay will make it more likely that he’ll feel motived to make the sex into less of a chore.

Outside of sex I think he really likes to get his hair brushed and generally taken care of by his wife. Be careful to be gentle though, as he doesn’t like you pulling his hair, and even doing so by accident will lead to some kind of punishment

.   

HISOKA

Hisoka is another one of the trash men that doesn’t get embarrassed by anything. While Illumi can get puzzled by his enjoyment of some things, Hisoka is down right shameless. Nothing, and I repeat nothing, will make this man feel shameful.

Hisoka also has an unique talent of making any vanilla activity into something straight out of a porn movie. The reason being that his entire body is somewhat of an erogenous zone and that he’s, well, Hisoka, so the moaning will be extreme. Gently lick his neck and he’ll be like: *insert Hisoka’s crazy moaning here*

That being said, I can imagine him as being quite adaptive when it comes to his partner’s sexual preferences. If you’re kinky, he’s all for it, but I can see him enjoying vanilla sex as well from time to time, if that’s what you prefer. I feel like he’s more about his partner’s reactions, rather than exactly what is making those reactions happen. It would of course be situation based, as he sometimes would feel the need to be rough when he’s feeling pent up.

The most vanilla thing I can imagine, that even Hisoka can’t make kinky, is cuddling in bed while watching random reality TV. Hisoka actually enjoys cuddling a lot, so spending all day in bed lazily making out and occasionally having sex is something he’d enjoy. The sex would be soft, either missionary or some kind of spooning position combined with lots of kissing and groping. This could only take place after you’ve somehow managed to deplete his energy a bit, because if he’s feeling pent up or have some kind of project on his mind, he will not have time to spend all day in bed with you.  

Lastly, he’d also enjoy massages and he will, for sure, always expect a “happy finish”.

CHROLLO

Despite being someone who mostly keeps people at a distance, Chrollo sometimes really enjoys sex where he’s embracing you. His favourite position being spooning you from behind, but sometimes plain old missionary will be his pick.

You were quite surprised the first time it happened. Chrollo has such a domineering personality and he’d usually demand complete obedience from you both in and outside the bedroom. It does however happen that you see a different side of him. It would happen late at night after you’ve both gone to bed. I see Chrollo as being a very lightl sleeper because of his upbringing in Meteor City. Said childhood has led to him having trouble relaxing when trying to fall asleep, so maybe the sex makes it easier for him to calm down. He’d hold your sleepy form close to his chest as he finishes inside you, falling asleep with you in his arms (inconsiderate bastard doesn’t think about the fact that you’ll need to get out of bed and clean yourself up after, unless you want cum seeping out of you all night).

Even if he won’t admit to it, it's really obvious that he really enjoys having his ears kissed and caressed. Chrollo is a very perceptive individual so his ears are very sensitive to any type of foreign touch. It’s probably also nice to give his lobes to get a little break from all the abuse from those ginormous earrings he’s wearing...

Chrollo is a also a man of deception and if he needs to play the role of a loving boyfriend to someone other than you to get what he wants, he’ll have no problem doing so. He’ll kiss his target lovingly and have the softest of vanilla sex. He says to himself that it’s all an act, but sometimes I think he’d find himself really enjoying the closeness and intimacy, since he usually puts himself above you when engaging in sexual acts. He’ll tell himself that he’s only enjoying it because he’s too immersed in the scenario he’s playing out with his target. This man is in denial and he’ll keep his soft moments far, far away from the troupe.

TW: Crack

He also really loves to recite gothic love poems that he wrote himself to you during intercourse. He’d hold his poetry book in one hand while he thrusts slowly in and out of you tenderly. It all ends in a crescendo as he reads out the last line as he cums, a single manly tear running down his cheek. (Sorry, I had to join the Drag Chrollo Gang haha).

[imaginedhaven]

Rules of Engagement: Chapter Sixteen

Link to Masterpost

Well, I couldn’t wait TOO long to bring you this one! Enjoy!

~*~*~

Rowan stared at Aelin, knowing his face would show his shock. He knew by now that Aelin rarely did anything without a reason, but he couldn’t fathom why she was asking such questions of Maeve when the sensible thing to do would be to run and never look back. She had stolen him away from Maeve’s clutches, she had even gotten answers from her about her parents.

His icy heart had cracked when she’d wrung that confession from the queen. He’d known, of course, that Maeve could be cruel and vindictive. He’d also known that she never forgot or forgave someone who crossed her, not truly. Oh, she would say she had offered forgiveness readily enough. It was what had convinced him to swear to her, after all, her offer of forgiveness for everything that had come to pass with Lyria and for losing himself for as long as he had.

He had since come to learn that forgiveness didn’t come attached to a string, much less a web of half-truths and outright deceit. Forgiveness didn’t ask for the completion of difficult tasks, or for the surrender of free will.

Forgiveness was Aelin burning away his guilt and his doubts with a simple smile. Forgiveness was how he had nearly ruined everything they could come to share with his own foolish nerves, but she had come to Doranelle to demand he be freed regardless.

No, a creature like Maeve could never exhibit true forgiveness. She was too self-serving, too arrogant, too cold and cruel. Which was why Rowan was certain, so certain, that Aelin would have realized that she was at a significant advantage with the concessions already granted and leave before Maeve could turn the tables.

Deep down, he supposed he should have known she would see a possible vulnerability and seek to press that advantage, take as much from Maeve as she could possibly get. It was a fighter’s instinct, a move from someone who knew they would never get this opportunity again.

Maeve pursed her lips before responding, voice tight with barely-restrained anger. “I know a great deal more than you could pretend to, child.”

“I’m certain that you do; our histories indicate that you were present for the war, after all.” Aelin was back to carefully examining her fingernails rather than looking at the queen, her posture that of idle nonchalance. To a casual observer, it would appear that Aelin was already bored of the conversation, but Rowan knew this was all a part of a carefully calculated act. He was more than familiar with her character as Celaena Sardothien, and he could see that she was using that mask one last time.

At least, he sincerely hoped it would be one last time. He had no greater wish for her than for her to be able to be truly herself once more.

“And what question is it that you seek answers for?” For all of Maeve’s posturing, for all of her tight control over her tone, Rowan could see through to the vulnerability within. He had spent centuries at her side, doing her bidding, and this was something he had never seen from the dark queen.

Maeve was afraid.

“They were said to be terrible creatures, weren’t they? The Valg, I mean. Demons from another world, with the power to possess humans and Fae alike.” Aelin’s words were light in tone, careful and precise. “I heard the princes, or the kings like Erawan, were even more powerful. They could take on their own form and walk among us. They could manipulate shadows, or a person’s very thoughts. Is that true?”

“It is,” Maeve replied, “and you should be grateful that I worked with your ancestors to banish them all back to their home.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s true,” Aelin said, “but that’s a different question. No, what I was wondering was something else. What sort of power do you imagine one of their queens would have possessed?”

Maeve hesitated for a moment, clearly debating whether or not to answer the question at all. “It was said,” she finally replied, “that the queens were even more powerful than the kings. Given that the kings were difficult enough to kill or banish, I would think most would hesitate before battling a queen of the Valg.”

“How interesting,” Aelin remarked, her eyes focused now on the ground near Maeve’s feet. What on earth was she doing? “I read that the princes could manipulate your thoughts, force you to relive your darkest moments so they could feed on your despair. If a prince could do that to one person, do you suppose a queen could do that to many?”

“I suppose it’s possible,” Maeve allowed.

“I’m sure you’re wondering exactly what my questions have to do with… well, everything, really.” Aelin laughed, and Rowan could feel himself frowning. He certainly wondered what game she was playing. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you wondering for long.”

The arrogant smirk of Celaena Sardothien crossed Aelin’s face again as she finally looked the queen in the eye. “Did you know,” she finally asked, “that Brannon of the Wildfire was able to locate histories before he fled to Terrasen that claim there were only two sister-queens of the Fae?”

Distantly, Rowan knew the sensations coursing through his body were those of shock. His vision narrowed and went slightly grey, and his hands and feet were tingling. He could hardly focus on such things, however, given the implications of Aelin’s pointed question, hurled like a knife at a female who was turning out to be far more deadly than either of them could have known. To have convinced the entire world that there were always three sisters… that was more power than Rowan could comprehend.

Too late, he noticed the shadows lancing at them from the floor. Even if his reflexes had been at their best, he couldn’t have avoided this attack. Instead, he looked at Aelin, horror dawning on his face.

Aelin smiled back at him…

And then threw herself between Rowan and the shadows.

He could hear a voice screaming in the distance. It took several seconds for him to recognize it as his own.

~*~*~

Aelin gritted her teeth against the force of the blast but held strong as the shadows—or perhaps the female controlling them—shrieked, throwing a desperate line of fire between herself and Rowan to ensure he would remain safe.

As she had suspected from her research but not had time to prove, the ring she had continued to wear on her thumb was indeed a protective ward—bespelled for Athril, friend of Brannon’s and former lover of the very female she faced now, an unnamed goddess’ gift granting protection against the powers of the Valg. Rowan would have been injured, or killed, or worse had the shadows managed to reach him, but though they could bring her almost to her knees with their strength they could not actually touch her.

Finally the shadows ebbed, and she stood against a backdrop of her own flame. “Queen Maeve of the Fae,” she declared, “if that truly is your name, I must confess I have misled you until this point. My true charge, and my truest accusation, is not that of the murder of my parents. You stand accused of deceiving Mab and Mora—deceiving the world—as to your true nature, to hide amongst the Fae whilst your brethren tortured and killed us. You stand accused of being that which you professed to aid in killing, for whatever unknown purpose you may have had.”

Aelin summoned a small flame into each hand, a further reminder of her power. “You stand accused, my dear aunt, of being a Queen not of the Fae, but of the Valg. How do you plead?”

Maeve only laughed, the sound high and cold, though her eyes remained fixed on the fire Aelin controlled. “You think yourself clever, but you will never leave this place alive to utter such an accusation unless it is by my own choosing.”

“How, exactly, do you plan to stop me?”

“Surely you’ve realized by now that only two of my blood-sworn are in this room. While I believe that either of them would prove more than your match, I have called the others here. They will arrive within mere minutes.” A bluff, Aelin realized; at least one of them was too far away to be recalled in any haste.

“And I’m certain you’ve guessed by now that I did not come alone either,” Aelin retorted. “Nor am I a fool. You may strike me down if you so please, but it will only serve as further evidence to the rest of the world. War will be upon your doorstep if you do not yield, a war you have sought to avoid for centuries.”

She began to feel a weakness in her knees, and a cramping sensation toward the base of her spine. Maeve wouldn’t have to defeat her outright, she realized. If she merely kept Aelin talking for a few minutes more, she would be at the point of a burnout. And yet she could not risk lowering the curtain of flame that protected Rowan, not when she had only just won him away from the female who sat before her.

No, she had to hold on, for as long as she could manage.

“Your ancestor’s little book can be discredited easily enough,” Maeve sneered. “A bastard, who was no one until he fought in the wars and then fled across the sea, is no historian.”

“Perhaps you underestimate how well-loved Brannon Galathynius was by his people. They remember him kindly, as an honest male who was so brave, who shone with a fire so bright, that even the goddess of flame herself was entranced. Think about that, about an honor you will never know. A goddess gave up her immortal life for him. An act like that reverberates for ages to come, and does much to credit his word.”

Maeve shrugged with an air of indifference, but her cold and calculating eyes remained locked on Aelin and her flames. “There’s no way of knowing if your little book was even written by Brannon. I certainly don’t recall him writing one, and it is not disputed that I was present for these events.”

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face, and the hairs at the back of her neck were already drenched with it. She had to end this, and soon. “I grow weary of your games,” she snapped. “You’ve heard the accusation. How do you plead?”

“If it is answers you seek, you will find none here.” Shadows grew once more around Maeve’s feet, gathering around their mistress. “And you grow weary of more than simply games. You haven’t the strength to carry out any sentence you could deign to bestow upon me.”

Aelin laughed. “Oh, but surely you know.”

Maeve snarled, revealing elongated canines for the first time. “Know what?”

“Know that I don’t have to have the strength myself.” As she lowered the shield of flame protecting Rowan from the shadows, she drew her blade across her hand and called him to her. A quick slice across his palm and their hands clasped together as they had what felt like a lifetime ago.

Cold, swirling, ancient power slammed into her, and then there was only fire.

~*~*~

“What are you doing here?” the warrior—no, his father—hissed. “No, on second thought, don’t tell me. Don’t tell me anything about why you’re here, don’t tell me you’re who I suspect you are. You shouldn’t be here, it’s not safe.”

“You’re…” The words died in Aedion’s throat. “You’re the one Whitethorn warned me about,” he finally managed.

“Whitethorn? Rowan is back?” His father sighed. “Don’t tell me. The less I know, the better. I’m only supposed to be patrolling, there’s a chance I won’t have to get involved.”

“Involved in what, exactly? The queen’s dirty work, I would imagine.” The words came out bitter, more bitter than Aedion had intended. He didn’t know why exactly his father had left, whether it was the only protection he could give or whether whatever glory he had sought as a warrior had won over any family he could have. He’d told himself for years that he didn’t care. Aelin and her parents had been as much a family to him as he could have asked for, and he had set his thoughts of his farther aside, thinking they were unnecessary and could be forgotten.

He should have known that one day all of those ignored thoughts and feelings would come back to haunt him, though he could never have guessed that it would be in this way, with the male who should have raised him now standing between him and Aelin.

A scream sounded from the inside of the room, sounding suspiciously like Whitethorn. What was going on in that room? Aelin had told him her suspicions, her belief that the ring given to her by Dorian was unintentionally the best protection she could have acquired for this exact situation, but what if she had been wrong?

Aedion’s blood ran cold at the thought that his cousin could be injured, or worse, and he wasn’t there to help her.

His father, on the other hand, barely even grimaced, though his tawny eyes revealed a deep sadness. “I would say she was not always like this, but I’m afraid I would be lying. When it was only my own life I had to worry about, I paid it no mind. What good was my life, without a cause such as hers? For all her flaws, she protected my people. It turned out that I was good at protecting them as well—good enough to attract her attention. But know this. If you are who I suspect—and do not tell me if you are—then your mother changed everything.”

A shriek came from the room, high and cold and angry, and this time his father did flinch. That didn’t stop him from speaking, however. “For the first time in my life, I had something that mattered. And I realized what would happen if it ever came to light. Hiding our relationship would never be enough, not when all she would have to do was command me to speak the truth and it would all be revealed.”

“And so you left.” Aedion dimly realized his hands were trembling. He didn’t know what to think, what to say, what to do. Not when everything had changed so suddenly.

“And so I left, knowing that I would never be able to see her again. I couldn’t even risk knowing any more than was necessary about her life. She knew why, though. Before I left, I told her everything. I told her to keep it secret, to keep herself safe. I warned her to never come looking for me. It was without a doubt the most difficult choice I’ve ever had to make, but at the same time there was never a choice. There was only this. And there… there is not enough time in all the world to tell you everything. In fact, we only have a few more moments before her orders will demand that I bring you to her.”

“What would you have me do? I cannot abandon my—”

“Don’t tell me,” his father snapped. “And what I would have you do does not matter. All that matters right now is keeping you safe. And if that means sending you away from here, then so be it.”

“And if I don’t leave?”

“Then—” the words of the other male stopped short as he stumbled, hand going to his chest in what appeared to be an automatic gesture.

“What is it?” Aedion asked.

“The oath—it’s… but it cannot be.” The words came slowly, their speaker clearly deep in disbelief. He glanced down at his hands, and then back up at Aedion.

As one, they looked at the door to the audience chamber, where all had gone suddenly silent. Then they ran to the door, forcing it open and gaping at what lay beyond.

~*~*~

By the time the flames died out, there was nothing left of Maeve but a smoky black stain on the white stone floor. Aelin slowly let go of Rowan’s hand and approached it hesitantly, as though somehow the creature that had posed as her aunt could re-emerge from the ashes.

Then again, she had been lying to everyone for centuries. Aelin wouldn’t put it past her to come back from the dead.

As she walked, step after halting step, each breath echoing in the sudden silence of the room, she allowed herself to think a desperate prayer that this all had worked. If this all turned out to be some foolish dream, she didn’t know what she’d do.

Carefully, she drew the toe of her boot through the ashes, effectively scattering them. A black stain remained on the stone underneath them. Finally, hardly daring to hope, she looked up at Rowan. She knew immediately that his expression of wary longing matched her own, but still they stood, simply staring at one another.

One of the wolves moved behind her, breaking the silence, and suddenly they were moving, walking briskly toward each other from across the room. She had just reached the midpoint when she was swept into the arms of a laughing male.

Aelin blinked, startled from the sudden spinning, only to find that it was the wrong male who had swept her away.

He was objectively beautiful, long golden curls offset by eyes of onyx and lips curled into an easy grin. “You did it,” he was saying through his laughter. “By all the gods, I never thought this day would come!”

A growl from behind her cut off any response she could have hoped to make, but the male only laughed harder. “Oh, come on, Rowan! You’ll have her for… gods, however long this one lives, I suppose. Assuming she doesn’t get another crazy idea and get you both killed tomorrow.”

The door burst open then, Aedion coming through at a sprint with another Fae male who looked stunningly like him. Aelin gave him a pointed look and then gestured between the two of them questioningly, but Aedion only shook his head. She’d have to pester him later for answers, then.

Another door opened, this one behind the dais where Maeve had sat, and a voice, rough and dark, shouted, “What have you done, you fire-breathing bitch?”

“The queen wasn’t Fae!” the male who was still holding her shouted, laughter turning desperate and almost hysterical. “She was one of the Valg, who disguised herself to stay behind. This one here figured it out and confronted her, and she freed us! She freed us, Lorcan, could you be less grumpy for one second of your miserable existence? Gods, I could kiss—”

A strong wind blasted around the room, knocking the golden male backwards, and when she turned she saw another male knocked to the floor as well. This one was almost impossibly tall, with dark hair and even darker eyes that were angrily fixed on Aelin herself.

The black wolf beside him shifted as well, revealing the mirror image of the golden male who had approached her. “It’s true,” he murmured. “I don’t know what to make of it. But everything Fen said is true.”

Aelin’s gaze stuttered from male to male. It was too much, it was all too much, she couldn’t—

Warm arms scented with pine and snow surrounded her, and she buried her face in Rowan’s shirt, eyes squeezed shut to block out as much sensation as possible. Her fingers clutched at the utilitarian fabric, and a small part of her mind wondered what it would take to get him to wear finer shirts.

A larger part recognized that voice for the hysterical distraction that it was, but it was better than facing… everything.

Finally, she realized Rowan was speaking to the others. “—sort this out later,” he was saying, the words rumbling in his chest so she felt as much as heard them. “We’ll have time, and Aelin came too close to a burnout. She needs rest.”

“She killed our queen!” the angry male shouted. “What has she done to you, that you would not have her answer for what she’s done?”

Another growl, this one from Aedion, but she couldn’t even look at him. Not now.

A calmer voice rang out from across the room, one that hadn’t spoken yet as far as Aelin could recall. “She’s overwhelmed,” the voice pointed out. “We’ll have no answers from her in this state, none that make any sense anyway. Let Rowan take care of her, and let us speak to her companion.”

“And if her companion doesn’t wish to speak without her consent?” Aedion replied testily.

“It’s all right, cousin,” she called, pulling away from Rowan to look at him. “You can tell them whatever they need to know.”

She took one step toward him, then another, but she could feel the weakness of her knees and the trembling in her limbs. She had overextended herself, gone too far, and the strain of unleashing all of those accusations had taken its toll as well.

Soon she was swept back into Rowan’s grasp, one arm holding her legs at the knee and the other supporting her back. “As much as I admire your determination to handle everything all at once,” he said with a shake of his head, “not even you can take on the entire world at the same time. It’s all right to need rest.”

“Go on,” said the male that was standing beside Aedion. “Take her out of here. We’ll speak with her when she’s ready.”

Rowan didn’t say anything else to any of the others, instead silently stepping out into the hall and beginning to walk. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“I did live here, you know,” he said dryly. “I have rooms.”

“Why, Rowan Whitethorn,” she grinned, pretending to be scandalized. “Are you taking me to bed?”

“After a stunt like you just put us through?” he asked.

Aelin felt her face fall. Of course he wouldn’t want her that way. Being mates was no guarantee of love, or even of happiness. There had been times where she thought perhaps he wanted her, but that didn’t mean that he would ever act on it.

Before she could say anything, could play off her remark as a simple jest, he had shifted his grip on her, using the wall to support her back so he could grip her chin. “Aelin, of all the countless mistakes I’ve made over the course of my life, making you doubt this is among the greatest,” he confessed. “There is much we need to discuss, you and I, but I don’t want to have that conversation when you’re already overwhelmed.”

Aelin could scarcely believe her ears. “So then you… are taking me to bed?”

“Aelin,” he purred next to her ear. “I am absolutely taking you to bed.”

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, only to fall asleep in his arms before they even reached their destination.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou

[oceangenasi]

D&P and Merther for the shipping ask game???

Yax I would die for you except you’d probably stop me from dying with your EMT wizardry and then where would we be

🖤 D/P 💙

1. What made you ship it? I have eyes? But seriously, I like to joke about how my ships are either softboys and their badass women or queerbait m/m angst.... and then there’s this shining exception. A canon m/m ship that gets a love story and a happy ending :’’’) I started watching the show very casually, knowing David was queer but not that D/P was endgame and then the next thing I knew I had ascended to another plane of existence

2. What are your favorite things about the ship? I am never not thinking about the Dynamic... it’s the complementary aspects of their personalities for me!

You’ve got David: flamboyantly queer and deeply dramatic, who’s had intense emotions his whole life that have scared people away but he’s also brave and unique and creative and wonderful. He’s everything that Patrick didn’t know he needed. He’s been hurt a lot of times and he almost doesn’t believe that he’s capable of being loved so wholly and completely. Enter Patrick.

Patrick is so straight-laced and repressed and invested in being well-liked that he had built up a whole seemingly perfect life that was making him deeply unhappy. I don’t think that even Patrick knew he was capable of loving David the way he does, because he hadn’t cast off his old life and gone on that emotional journey until he met David. His “you make me feel right” speech is my favorite bit of the entire show. Patrick found himself in finding David.

They balance each other: Patrick grounds David, providing him the unconditional love that David can flourish with, and David brings beauty and color into Patrick’s life.

I also adore how much casual intimacy they get on screen, all the kisses and shoulder touches. It’s incredibly healing to watch after so much queer angst and suffering, when we get representation at all.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Yeah, Patrick’s not perfect. I get very pissy when people trash David for his actions surrounding the barbecue and/or the wedding and imply he was being unfair/selfish -- because even if he was, Patrick has a responsibility to communicate his concerns if he wants David to respond to them. Patrick has a tendency to avoid/repress his feelings and that can be incredibly damaging in a relationship if not addressed. David can’t read Patrick’s mind, nor should he be expected to. He doesn’t need to magically intuit Patrick’s distress from Patrick’s micro-expressions or whatever the fuck -- Patrick needs to step up and tell David when he doesn’t like David’s behavior. Yes, I’m projecting like hell when it comes to this but it is something that made me furious during season 6 and the discourse surrounding it.

------------

💙 Merthur ❤

1. What made you ship it? I watched the first episode and was like “oh wow this show is even gayer than I’d heard it was.” No but seriously... fellas, is it gay to be literally and canonically someone’s other half? Fellas, is it gay to stare intensely into each other’s eyes at every given opportunity? Fellas, it is gay to dedicate your entire life to serving and protecting someone? Fellas, is it--

2. What are your favorite things about the ship? ah jeez where do I even start... Arthur is Merlin’s whole world. Merlin’s magic is “only for Arthur” and Merlin’s magic is... everything he is. I literally don’t know how you could read that as Merlin not being in love with Arthur. I genuinely and honestly think this interpretation is backed up by commentary by the actors and writers: Merlin loves Arthur, and that’s not even a point of debate. I adore Merlin as a character (son boy baby sweetheart sunshine child) and his unwavering faith in Arthur, his dedication, his tenderness, the years spent protecting someone who didn’t even know how much Merlin had done for him.... it gets me good.

And then there’s what Merlin is to Arthur! Setting aside the stuff Arthur doesn’t know about, which I will talk about in a moment, Merlin is possibly the only person in Arthur’s life who has always, always treated him as a person first and a prince second. Merlin’s unwavering faith and freely given friendship are because he sees the best in Arthur, not because of Arthur’s hereditary right to the throne. Merlin is Arthur’s first and truest friend -- I know the knights and Gwen care for him, but there is a component of social discrepancy to their relationship that Merlin simply has ignored. Merlin’s disrespect is because he fundamentally views Arthur as his equal, which is a gift Arthur didn’t even know he needed. Arthur was touch-starved, emotionally repressed, and incredibly lonely before Merlin came into his life. (Yes, the similarities between my two OTPs are well-known to me.) Just because Arthur struggles to express his emotions (thanks, Uther) and doesn’t have the same plot opportunities as Merlin to show how much he’d sacrifice for Merlin, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Merlin as deeply as Merlin does him. This is why I like writing Arthur POV so much -- I like describing how fundamental and immutable a concept Merlin is to him. He takes Merlin for granted, yes, because there is literally nobody else that he is so vulnerable around or trusts so completely. This is why the magic reveal was so temporarily devastating to Arthur -- it broke something he’d built his entire life around. Or at least, that’s what he thought.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Canon is a trash fire and I hate a lot of things about season 5, because it had some stellar opportunities that got rushed and squished by the way they timed the plot.... but I actually really, really like the finale. I think that considering what they’d done with the plot up to that point, it was brilliantly executed and gorgeously acted. There wasn’t enough time to do everything I would have liked with the magic reveal*, but in the last episode they hit every one of my buttons at least once. Arthur witnessing a competent Merlin, Arthur experiencing realistic grief and anger but being able to see how deeply Merlin loves him... Setting aside the plotholes and the timing, the people who made the show realized what was critically important in the finale, and it was digging deep into the relationship between Merlin and Arthur. This is why it completely and totally wrecks me, incidentally, and why I can’t watch the last part of the episode because it actually unhinges me too much. I’m not joking, I went into some kind of grief spiral the first time I saw it that took me a literal week to recover from. I care about things too much and feel my feelings too intensely, but we been knew.

Oh, and an even spicier opinion on later seasons/the finale: I don’t think that Morgana “isn’t really evil” or that her fall was “unnecessary.” I think that Morgana was indeed capable of being a fiercely good and loving person, but I also think that people with the kind of anger she carries can be dragged into some very dark places. I don’t think it was unrealistic, I think it was painful to watch, and there’s a difference. She didn’t get the support she needed -- she was gaslighted, manipulated, and tortured -- and I think that the same person who could be good in another situation is absolutely capable of becoming monstrous, considering the hand she was dealt. I have very similar opinions on her as I do on Anakin Skywalker, which is to say: her evil was both believable and tragic. She was a product of her circumstances, but her actions are not excusable, and she is responsible for how she responded to her trauma.

*I can and will read every damn magic reveal on ao3 because it’s really important to me that Arthur understand what Merlin has done for him. Truly, truly conceptualizes how crucial Merlin has been in helping him build his kingdom. That’s the one thing that I wanted to see so badly that never happened in canon.

[falsegoodnight]

some fic recs from the past months:

(this is for the person who requested via an ask!)

i haven’t been reading as many fics as i would like to be reading especially in the past few weeks, but here’s a bunch that i’ve either read or reread in the past couple of months (in no particular order):

make this feel like home by @soldouthaz | 43k

The house on West 28th Street in London is twice the size of Louis', more expensive than the price of all of his house and car payments combined, and is falling apart at the seams.

like it’s a game by @soldouthaz | 32k

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

let me carry your weight by @soldouthaz | 29k 

louis is fresh out of a bad relationship with someone who made him feel awful about how he looked. on his journey to better himself, he meets harry - the ridiculously attractive and fit personal trainer.

call if you need me by @soldouthaz (a reread!) | 11k

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

* as you can tell, i’m very much biased when it comes to sarah :) especially her last fic which i beta-read! go read!

shouldn’t cry (but i love it) by @bloubird | 7k

They're roommates. They're quarantined. There's a small problem coming up.

Until by @allwaswell16 | 38k

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

Ours are the moments I play in the dark by @holdingthornsandroses (reread!) | 31k

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

Ghost Note Symphony by @crazyupsetter | 96k

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

Love’s Truest Language by @smrwine (a favorite of all time) | 53k

The first part was meant as a joke. He didn't really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.

“Where's your order forms, then?”

“I don't want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.

Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”

Tainted Saints and Velvet Vices by Toomanytears (reread!) | 126k

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

a trail of honey through it all by @yvesaintlourent | 27k

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

kiss like fire by @louizsv | 9k

Harry watches as his uncle's new omega walks around the backyard, serving canapés and drinks to all of the family members gathered. Harry is surrounded by his cousins, all sat together, too young for the adults but too old for the kids and teens. He lifts his beer to his lips and takes a sip when the omega crouches down by one of Harry's younger cousins and hands her a small cracker, sending her off with a sweet smile.

He watches as his uncle comes out of the house, sliding the patio door shut behind him and quickly making his way over to his omega. The omega looks up at him when he wraps an arm around his waist. His pretty lips move with soft-spoken words. Harry has to fight to keep his alpha in check when his dirty old uncle's hand dips down, grabbing at the omega's ass and making him jump.

"Dude," one of his cousins says, "Uncle Darron's new omega is such a milf."

Also, this one isn’t completed yet but I still recommend: 

Lidocaine and Palm Trees by @boldbabe | currently 40k, 4/5 chapters posted

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

that took much longer than anticipated but i hope you (or anyone) enjoy! if anyone asks, i’ll maybe do a rec list for my favorite fics of all time... we’ll see.

remember to give kudos and consider commenting if you check any of these out!! they’re all fantastic!

*let me know if i made any errors :)

[girlwithacrown]

Wolfstar Archeology

So I did some digging

There is this super awesome fanfic “Not Ever” and I wanted to read some more of the same author, but it is an orphan account on AO3, so I did some small digging and found out that the account was actually hacked and everything was orphaned, there is a LadyFaceElena Masterlist.

As far as I understood, after the hack they published under the name angryspaceravenclaw, nowadays the account’s fics are also orphaned and the tumblr angry-space-ravenclaw is empty, but there is also a Wolfstar fics published under angryspaceravenclaw and LadyFaceElena: Masterlist 1 and Masterlist 2 (all pairings)

some Wolstar fics published under LadyFaceElena:

Loved In Spite of Ourselves (LONG, 170k, not complete)

"It began with four boys, and one compartment." Spanning across time, through the first war, and into the second.   The years were both kind and cruel for ones called Marauders, and for ones who came after.  But they knew friendship, and sorrow, and love, and joy.  And sometimes it was only things things which allowed them to survive--if that's all they could do.  Survive.

Artists and Moonlight (series, 20k, not complete)

Remus Lupin isn't sure what to make of his new flatshare situation.   He's a quiet student with a past, who doesn't date and is determined to keep it that way.  Then he meets his artist flatmate, Sirius Black and his entire world is turned upside down.

There Were Strangers Watching (6k, complete)

Sirius is determined that Remus have some fun before they begin University, so using the money his uncle left him in the will, he drags Remus off to Las Vegas.  Determined to have fun, the boys explore the city, have a few drinks, and wake up...married?  It would all be fun and games if Remus Lupin hadn't been madly in love with Sirius Black for almost five long years.

Tumblr Trash (series, 35k, not complete)

Padfoot and Moony meet over mutual follows on Tumblr.  Remus, the blind student, hires Sirius, the fallen Aristocrat, to be a reader for his classes.  They fall in love in separate ways, and fall apart.  Then fall together.  Their love is almost as ridiculous as they are.

WolfStar (series, 45k, not complete)

Two worlds collide.  Deaf artist Sirius Black works at his best mate's cafe.  Remus Lupin is an epileptic student from France who is just looking to get by unnoticed.  But the artist sees something he wants in the shy boy, and makes it his mission to see what makes Remus tick.

Fiery-Coloured World (3k, complete)

Sirius knew it would be minutes, moments, seconds before his heart told him he was in love and there was no going back from the emotional tidal wave that was Remus bloody Lupin.

Finally Found My Hallelujah (15k, complete)

Remus Lupin had always been good at sorting out dates and special occasions for people, which is why his best friend and Quidditch star, James Potter, talked him into wedding planning once they left Hogwarts. He lived a solitary, but happy life.  That is, until King Slytherin, Sirius Black, strolls into his office and asks for help planning his arranged marriage.  Remus Lupin is nothing if not a professional, but it's not easy when the groom-to-be was the man Remus had been fantasising about since fifth year.

Remember Me (5k, complete)

Remus Lupin was having an Ordinary Tuesday.  That is, until a strange boy grabs him and offers him money to play the boyfriend.  Remus thinks it will all be fine, until he's pulled into Number 12 Grimmauld place, and finds himself swept away by Sirius O. Black.

Forever (20k, complete)

Sirius Black--CoDA, outcast, family disappointment, and fairly famous  YouTuber who runs a sign language channel SiriuslySigns with his best mate, James.  Remus Lupin-- vegan hipster who dropped out of University and lives with his best mate Peter, and together run HowlingMoon's DIY, barmy science experiments, and ukulele tutorials channel.  When Sirius becomes enamoured with Moony's singing, he dedicates a sign tutorial in hopes he'll be noticed.  This leads to exchanging of shout-outs and videos, and what Sirius hopes, is a little something more.

Far Away the Stars (36k, complete)

“Oh hell, what a pair we make,” Remus said, and Sirius threw his head back and laughed.“Truest statement I’ve heard in a long time.”  Sirius bowed his head.  “I don’t care about people easily.  But you’re like a fucking tidal wave, Moony.  You just short of showed up and swept me away and I gave up trying to fight it.”Remus fought back the urge to grab him and pull him down and just have him right there because they hadn’t got that far yet.  “And here I thought you just didn’t like me.  Who knew?”

Aging Gracelessly (13k, complete) 

Remus is being dragged into the modern century by his son in the form of a brand-new smartphone.  He means to text Teddy, and ends up accidentally meeting, and sharing his plight with another person in the same boat as him.  Though Remus thinks it's just a passing moment, little does he know what wheels have been set in motion.

Forever is Definitely Punk Rock (9k, complete)

When Remus Lupin met Sirius Black for the first time, he very nearly killed him.  Now, it wasn’t entirely his fault, something he would maintain for the rest of his life, and Sirius being as dramatic as he was would often remind the taller, tawny-haired man of his very harrowing near-death experience at the front bumper of his car.