#trost arc

[lenok993]

sorry but i can't unsee it you can't too lol

[leadersguilt]

cant remember bringing this up for a while so honestly i'll never be over the reiiteration that jean himself has a bleeding heart. he is going to be both blunt and honest with whoever hes speaking to, but in a way that he hopes will come to help them understand the situation but also does it so whoever he's speaking with actually understands the full situation and what that may entail despite the gruesome outcome.

[underthetree845]

What I wouldn’t give to be in Connie’s position

[enerjaeger]

hello everyone just popping in to say I love eren jaeger 💖💖💖

[astridthevalkyrie]

might fuck around and rewatch aot

[delilahsdaydream]

One thing about me is that when I finish Attack On Titan, I'm gonna go right back to season 1 episode 1 and watch it all again. And again.

[murasakiyuzu]

im sorry but this sequence is too fucking real and mikasas inconsolable crying that follows just WRECKS ME

the animators and ishikawa yuis stellar acting rly did it all

[scarletskiesinthepaths]

Levi's Intelligence

Levi's intelligence is often overlooked, probably because he's compared directly to Erwin and Hange. Erwin and Hange are both extraordinarily intelligent, but Levi is immensely intelligent himself. He is able to read people (better than any other character), and he knows how to make the best use of what he has available. Many other users have done a wonderful job expanding on Levi's emotional intelligence, so I wanted to expand on some of his feats of general intelligence:

I. Ability to Both Think Long-Term and Make Quick Decisions While in the Midst of Battle

After Historia and Eren are captured by Kenny and the MPs, Levi avoids immediately chasing after them—similarly to how he approached the situation with the Female Titan. The overall strategic goal still remained keeping Historia and Eren safe, but Levi was able to recognize in the moment that chasing after them would not have successfully led to achieving that objective. Levi adapted his tactics, and the Scouts were overall more successful in their mission because of it.

Without Erwin, Levi is able to lead his remaining team to safety and take down an MP compound without casualties. They are all able to regroup and come up with a plan to rescue Eren and Historia because of Levi's quick thinking and long-term planning during this battle.

II. The Reeves Negotiation

Much has been said about Levi's kindness and compassion in this arc, about how he's interested in saving the city of Trost at no tangible benefit to himself (and after being directly mistreated by its citizens earlier in the same arc), but what I want to bring attention to is (1) that he was able to recognize the opportunity for a negotiation and (2) his skills at bargaining.

Directly after taking down the MP compound (Chapter 54: "Location of the Counterattack"), Levi and his team encounter Dimo Reeves, the boss for the Reeves Company as well as the merchant responsible for blocking the Trost gate earlier in the series. Levi is able to intuit that there is more to Dimo Reeves' "deal" with the MPs than meets the eye, so he brings Dimo Reeves outside to look over Trost together and converse. This demonstrates Levi's skill at reading people. No other character had indicated an interest in holding a conversation about Dimo's motives.

Dimo reveals how the Reeves Company has been at the mercy of the Interior MPs and how he has been following the MPs' orders to avoid getting immediately killed and losing everything—to protect his employees and their families. This conversation directly leads to a negotiation and then a deal being formed between the Scouts and the Reeves Company.

When Levi is laying out the conditions for the deal, it is evident that Dimo does not seem initially receptive. Levi uses the word "trust," which Dimo balks at.

However, Levi's third condition, which is actually the most unimportant and superfluous one, results in Dimo accepting the deal. Why?

"Seems you're even greedier than a merchant." Dimo says this, as he is familiar at interacting with and respects other merchants. Levi added the third condition in, not simply because he wants tea and other luxurious goods, but because it brings himself down to Dimo's level. Without this condition, the deal may not have gone through. It is exactly this condition that results in Dimo "trusting" Levi as an equal.

This negotiation is also more evidence toward Levi's ability to think long-term. This deal between the Scouts and the Reeves Company benefits the Scouts for the remainder of the series.

III. Luring Kenny Into a Bar

Expanding on Levi's ability to make quick decisions while in the midst of battle, one of the best examples of this is Levi's first encounter with Kenny during the Uprising arc, where Levi lures Kenny into a bar and is able to defeat him as a result.

This goes beyond Ackerman prowess, as that is more related to superhuman strength and heightened combat reflexes. This is specifically a feat of intelligence; it's a sign of Levi's ingenuity—using aspects of the environment to his advantage. By luring Kenny into a bar, Levi is able to procure a weapon to even the playing field. Kenny himself is impressed and adds in that Levi was not taught these tactics by him. Some of the specific tactics of note:

III.a Use of Reflection

Levi is able to procure a shotgun while simultaneously taking cover from Kenny. He converses with Kenny to keep Kenny focused on him and not the bar's patrons, and even though Levi is facing away from Kenny, he uses the reflection off the alcohol's glass to properly aim the shotgun.

III.b Chair and Figuring Out the Firearms' Weakness

Levi knew he was going to be ambushed from up top as soon as he left the bar, so he threw a chair out the window to both distract and waste his opponents' shots. I'm fairly certain Levi was the first one to notice the main weakness of the anti-personnel vertical maneuvering equipment.

The main weakness, as Armin explains above in a later chapter, is that they need to reload after shooting twice. Levi first threw a chair, forcing one of his opponents to shoot twice, kills that opponent, and then uses that opponent's body as a shield against the other two guys' shots.

IV. Final Battle - Infers Immediately Armin is Alive

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but Levi is the first to infer that Armin has to be alive, given the way Titan powers work. As such, Levi is able to keep the others focused on the battle in front of them, knowing that Armin is alive and unharmed. This again speaks to Levi's quick thinking while in the midst of battle; it is often more difficult to make these sorts of judgments while in a fight-or-flight situation. Keep in mind as well that Levi is also grievously injured here, so it is even more impressive, how quickly he's able to make this inference.

V. Final Battle - Leadership and Planning

Full stop, the Alliance would not have succeeded without Levi, and part of that is because of Levi's ability to take charge and come up with a plan. This is the plan that they followed throughout the entire duration of the Battle of Heaven and Earth, and it is a plan Levi came up with, directly in response to an unexpected change in circumstances.

This again shows off Levi's skill in adjusting tactics to achieve a strategic objective. Even though the commanders are the ones often in charge of this, Levi is clearly very capable and adept at this himself. Right before this panel, everyone was arguing on how to proceed. Levi came up with the best overall plan, and in addition to that, formulated the two teams required to carry out that plan.

[momtaku]

Thoughts on the Attack on Titan Musical

tl:dr; It's been two weeks but I am still not over it.

When I posted the photo of myself holding the playbill of the Attack on Titan musical the most common reaction was "WHAT???", so I guess some background might be good to start with.

Yes, the Attack on Musical is a thing. It was first performed in Japan in January 2023 with shows in Osaka and Tokyo. When it was announced that a second run of the musical would include New York City, I pounced on tickets.

See, it's real! This is my video of the closing number. We were allowed to record this.

The New York run was at the New York City Center which seats about 2200 people. There were a total of 4 shows the weekend of Oct 12. I attended the Saturday matinee. The style of this production is known 2.5D, and is incredibly popular in Japan. I did some checking and this is the first time a 2.5D anime adaptation has appeared outside of Asia. Did Attack on Titan work as a musical?

Surprisingly yes, although I think anyone who wandered in off the streets would've been thoroughly confused. The themes that attracted most of us to the series translate wonderfully to the stage, and despite knowing the story well, they managed to make it feel fresh. Carla's death, for instance. When she realized she was trapped and facing certain death, her song to Eren and Mikasa was a children's lullaby about survival. That portion of the manga always hit me hard, but the desperation, horror and love set to a lullaby? Damn it musical, you made me cry.

The original scene of Hange leading a Titan Biology class might be my favorite of the entire show. The actor who played Hange was the perfect amount of unhinged and delightful as they dance across the table while the 104th answered a pop quiz. (And yes to "they" since the playbill specifically mentions that the actor in the role was known for her portrayal of nonbinary characters.) It was genuinely hilarious.

The musical covers the first 11 chapters of the manga, stopping in the "Struggle for Trost" arc, where the plan for Eren to plug the hole in the wall was conceived but not yet executed. I remember reading that portion of the manga years ago and feeling that same sense of optimism. So the musical ends on a high. Humans finally have a way to win against the titans, It felt like a strange place to end, knowing what ultimately happens in the story, so I wondered if the intention is for a part 2 musical adaptation.

(btw, the staging of "can you plug the hole" had Eren and Levi kneeling closely on the floor together with a manly shoulder clasp looking earnestly at each other. It had me looking at my very ereri friend with raised eyebrows. It was for sure her favorite moment.) What was the performance like?

The short run 2.5D musicals don't have the polish or production budget of a true broadway musical, but it was still wildly entertaining. Since the director is known for breakdance and hiphop, there was plenty of that. The dance numbers were fun. The songs were catchy.

Rather than try to describe it, here's a TikTok review that shows off the 3dmg, the titans, and that two minute head spin that no one could shut up about.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by mixed feelings (@mixed.feelings)

Also, the cast could not have been for perfect. I mean LOOK AT THEM!

From this tweet

Who was in attendance?

As I mentioned before, this was a first in many ways so it attracted people from all over the world. While I was opening my blind box items, I met a group older women from Japan who'd travelled to New York from Tokyo and had purchased tickets to every single NY performance. Their English wasn't great, and my Japanese is nonexistent, but what surprised me the most wasn't their dedication to the show, but that they seemed genuinely surprised to see me. I don't know if that was because I too am an older fan like them, or if they weren't expecting equally passionate westerners at the show but I tend to think it was both. I suspect the Japanese fandom has no idea how big this series is outside of Japan, or that it attracts such a diverse audience.

My podcast partner Luna was sitting next to two women who'd flown in from California. They knew nothing about Attack on Titan but were fans of the actor who played Eren. Since it was his first time performing outside of Japan, they came solely to see him.

On my flight home was a 22 year old wearing an Attack on Titan musical t-shirt. We started talking and I learned it was his first time in New York, his first time seeing a broadway musical, and his first time traveling alone. He just loves the series that much.

In general the audience was much younger than what you'd normally see at a broadway show and 100% more excited. Plenty of people were in cosplay or else wearing Attack on Titan clothing. The atmosphere was insane.

My merch haul

The mug and t-shirt sold out before the second show so I was glad I was there early to snag them. The playbill is selling on Mercari for almost $50. Sadly my poster didn't survive the trip home. It cracked in about 50 places.

Did you do anything else in NYC

Aside from hanging out with so many of my favorite people, the Kodansha Popup House was going on. It was incredibly cool.

We met up with James from the Titan Teatime podcast. I think the plan is do a joint podcast in a few weeks to get everyone's thoughts . I'll post more about that if it actually happens.

Final Thoughts

Rumor has it that the show's successful New York run could mean it will branch out further. If it goes to London, nothing will stop me from being there. It was that much fun, and I can't wait to share the experience with my European friends.

[the-last-thread-of-my-sanity]

Deep in my frame-by-frame Trost arc re-watch for my fic- and it occurred to me that nobody would be more pro-Aruani than Dot Pyxis.

He says with zero prompting, and I quote: “I wouldn’t mind being eaten by a really beautiful Titan woman.”

This is the face of a man who gets it. He wouldn’t question Armin for a second. He’d tell him he’s a lucky bastard.

[cosmicjoke]

I think one of of the fundamental differences between Levi and Kenny can be summed up and demonstrated like this:

Levi will risk his life to save someone else's, even and especially when that person's own actions or lack of ability placed them in danger to begin with.

We see him do this throughout the story. We see him risk his life to save Mikasa's during their fight with the Female Titan, spraining his ankle even due to her reckless behavior and pushing through that to intervene just before the Female Titan can grab her. We see him do it during the final battle, saving Jean from his own unawareness before he's eaten by one of Eren's spawned Titans, even taking the impact for him after, which probably did all kinds of damage to his back and spine, and then he again saves Connie, who's been knocked unconscious and is about to be eaten by yet another Titan, and he nearly gets his leg taken off in the process.

Levi saves people, regardless of whether they "deserve" to be saved or not, regardless of whether or not they put themselves in a position of danger and can't get out of it on their own. We see him do this with that one soldier in "No Regrets" on the training course, too. We see him do that with Ramzi. We see him do it with the merchants in Trost.

I think it's safe to say that not only would Kenny not have saved either Mikasa, Jean, Connie, or any of those other people if he'd been in Levi's same position, but just like he did to Levi during the Uprising arc, he would have actively attempted to kill them if he thought they were inconvenient to his selfish goals.

I think another fundamental difference between Levi and Kenny is demonstrated in how, despite all of his many connections to the royal family and the nobility, and how easily he could have taken Levi out of the Underground and given him a good life on the surface, Kenny chose to leave Levi in the Underground and let him ultimately fend for himself down there, saying if he wanted to make it up to the surface, he was going to have to do that on his own. In sharp contrast, as soon as Levi had a connection to the royal family through Historia, he did literally the opposite, helping and encouraging Historia to get all of the orphans of the Underground to the surface and give them better lives.

Both examples demonstrate that fundamental difference, how Kenny is someone who believes that a person's life and the worth of their life needs to be proven and earned specifically through strength, whereas Levi is someone who regards all life as equally precious and worth saving, regardless of the person's personal strength or ability to save themselves.

Levi is, in all the ways that count, the exact opposite of Kenny. And he turned out that way despite Kenny, not because of him.

I'll never understand how people can be so blind as to claim they're the same due to what amounts to nothing but surface-level similarities in their mannerisms.

I'll always fight against this frankly insulting idea that some people try to posit that Kenny taught Levi to value life, or that he instilled in Levi his great appreciation for life. It's the opposite. Levi appreciates life in a way Kenny couldn't ever understand.

[anlian-aishang]

For the practice drabble thingie, Sweat/Scent kink? 👁️ 👁️

I just. k n o w. I have this headcanon that Levi always uses baby/scented powder to avoid sweating so much on expeditions/missions, but maybe one day he just runs out of it or rushes out of his room, so Levi gets flustered or self-conscious for the rest of the day or smth, idk I don’t think he would smell **that much**, but… still, he smells pretty masculine, yknow?👁️👁️

Tags: levi x reader [mutual pining], sfw [but fetish-based material], sweat & scent stuff, canonverse, gn!reader Word count: 2700 A/N: Holy hell, thank you, this is exactly what I wanted. nsfw sequel is in the works <3

It was his fucking day off. 

Levi was the most cautious when it came to anticipation. Sights no one should have to see had scarred him to the point of learning: if you never got your hopes up, nothing could let you down. That thought rained on most of his parades, but he supposed there was little letdown to be had when it came to the likewise little things. On returns from expeditions, he allowed himself to look forward to the removal of his heavy gear and tight belts. When the smell of fresh-baked bread wafted through the barracks, he let his tongue salivate and his stomach sing. Today would have been his first day off in - he couldn’t even remember - god knows how long. Last night, his stagnant stoicism seemed to float away, head in clouded daydream of how to make this day perfect.

But some days weren’t meant to be perfect.

Instead of birds chirping and the first rays of sunlight that Levi anticipated, it was a series of harsh knocks at the hour of indigo sky that woke him up. Levi startled out of sleep, snapping up with a breathless gasp.  

In hindsight, maybe he should’ve said nothing, maybe then they would’ve left him alone. However, being woken suddenly, though a common occurrence, almost always meant disaster in the Scouts. His voice cracked a barely audible “W’What?” No response. Levi coughed and cleared his throat, the return of his scathing tone, “What?”

The knob swiveled. His door creaked. In the shadows of dawn stood a domineering, a commanding, six-foot figure. The leisurely pace with which he entered the room conveyed that there was no life-or-death emergency, and thus no good reason, for having barged in here on his day off. Levi rolled his eyes and scowled, “I didn’t say ‘come in.’”

Erwin ignored his remark and instead cut to the chase. “Supply transports were raided in Trost.”

His mind already set in vacation mode, it was remarkable how quickly his knowledge of the restock had left him, “What?”

“Tug-of-war with the Garrisons and MPs, scouring over the leftover scraps of the materials that were supposed to be.”

“The hell do the MPs need anything for?”

“I’m headed to the capital to find out.”

Too tired to think - let alone attempt - to disguise his confusion. Levi’s brows arced, lips parted as he tried to piece together what the hell this had to do with him. When it dawned, his trademark pout revived. 

“...No.”

“So you’ll take my stand, running morning drills in -” Erwin checked his pocket watch - “twenty minutes.”

“I’m off today.” Levi refuted. “Get Miche or Hange to do it.”

“They’re coming with me.” Erwin’s eyes were dead set, nearly offended, don’t you know I’ve thought of this already? “Unless, of course, you want to make the trip.”

To yak with the higher-ups? He would sooner crawl through mud.

Though he was given a choice, he took pity at his situation: “Bullshit…” Levi cursed beneath his breath, his version of whining.

Impatient, Erwin tapped his foot, “Are you going to get up or would you like to sit here and talk about our feelings?” The commander’s voice was starkly monotone, despite the sarcasm dripping in his statement.

Levi could play that card, too. “Are you going to leave or are you just here to watch my bare ass roll out of bed?”

Right. Erwin turned on his heel, door slammed in his wake. 

His impulse was to throw his head back on his pillow and an arm over his face, but twenty minutes - he didn’t even have the time for that. Levi bunched his sheets in his hands, so angry that his fists trembled, and swiveled his legs over the edge of his bed. A pang of nausea and a sharp headache, his body was pissed at him for the violent disruption of his sleep cycle. Levi held his forehead in hand and shook, blame eyebrows, not me. 

Levi’s limbs felt heavy, like he had just come indoors from a rainstorm. Clouds of colorful swears and harsh grunts propelled him through his morning routine. A three-minute shower, trimming his bangs, toothpaste and mouthwash followed by tea. One of many identical uniforms was laid out on his dresser, but before that…

From head to toe - undercut nape, under the arms, the shelf of his pecs, between his thighs, and finally his feet - Levi always applied a handful of drying agent. At this time of year, headquarters could seriously reek, and Levi refused to contribute to that filth. Pressing his lips together and stifling a yawn, he turned the container upside down. Lips parted, though, when nothing fell out. 

Shake. Shake shake.

A blockage, a clump, maybe? But there was no sound. The slightest of twitches in his fingers as Levi delicately, anxiously, twisted off the cap and peered inside. 

That’s right. He had made a mental note yesterday, that part of his day off would be dedicated to visiting the market, buying tea leaves, some new briefs, and his astringent powder - all items he was too mortified to order through the Corps. Given the thieving that had just happened, it was not like those supplies would’ve arrived anyway, but now, he would not have the freedom to go out and get them. 

With the jar completely open, he considered a few shakes in vain, but the bottle was so empty that he could see the reflection of his dark-circled eyes in the bottom of it. Levi allowed himself a heavy, exasperated sigh as he set the empty vessel back on his bathroom countertop just to loudly smack it into the trash can. Fucking shit. 

At least he had showered, but peering out the window and onto the training grounds, he could already see waves of heat radiating off the pavement. Come noon, it would be far worse. Clock ticking, for now, his only solution was to cut down on layers. It was then that he realized how little leniency the uniform lent. Gritting his teeth, Levi reluctantly left his top drawer shut, forgoing his undershirt and underwear. Walking past his mirror, his reflection caught his own eyes: his ivory skin barely yet noticeably peeking through the buttons of his grey shirt. Goddammit, he ripped the brown, canvas coat off its hanger and crossed it tight across his chest. To the harmony of his soles on wooden floor, his inner voice melodized: Could an outfit be both breathable and modest?

Levi could not bring himself to abandon his cravat, so instead of tying it beneath his collar, he let it sling out his back pocket, at the ready to grasp for when he needed to wipe his sweat away. That moment was inevitable, but he preferred not to think about it. He ran his fingers through his hair, base of his hand lingered on his widow’s peak, grinding pressure away like a mortar and pestle. Whatever, he tried to assure himself, as long as no one was around… 

At first, he thought he might manage. If they got close enough, they would surely notice the glimmer shining upon his skin. However, by terse orders and points of his fingers, he had maintained a perpetual distance from the hoard of trainees. He was more of a hands-on kind of teacher, opting to join them as they ran laps or learned to grapple through trees. Today, though, he was standing in the shade several yards from the action. If anyone gave him shit for lazying aside, he had an excuse in that he wasn’t even supposed to be on-call today anyways. However, perhaps because he looked particularly irritable and scary, no one dared question his bystanding.

Then came you.

“Levi?”

It was the first time you had ever seen startle on the captain. A simultaneous, steep flinch in each of his shoulders. Hairs stood on end, he whipped his gaze around, “What? What’re you doing here?”

The sight of panic on someone so fearless, it caused you to fret by proxy. “I - I uh…” You had never second-guessed him before, you had never had to. “I’m covering for -”

“Erwin?” 

You knit your hands behind your back, a sheepish grin, “He said you’d need help. You know, given the heat…”

Levi crossed his arms and bit the inside of his cheek. How shitty could that oaf be? The truth was that this heat was getting to everyone, yet in his fluster, Levi was sure that not only Erwin knew about his secret susceptibility, but that he had spilled it to the last person Levi wanted to know. No words seemed adequate for response, so instead, he kicked his foot against the barrack wall, leaned back, and deferred to silence.  

Something was off, your eyes darted in search for it. His cheeks had been tainted a light red. Luckily, you chalked it up to the temperature, though Levi knew that was not the sole factor. His hair was slicker than its usual light-and-airy allure, you figured he had just gotten out of the shower. That was true, but this damp was sweat, not soap. Your gaze started to descend down his body, and on the way, you noticed it: no cravat. 

A dog without a collar. A missing puzzle piece. Mildly irksome yet disproportionately intriguing. It was like he had read your mind, the mocking timing with which he reached back into his pocket and lifted the cloth to his forehead, sighing and swiping. After a couple wringing flicks of his wrist, he folded it and shoved it inside the lining of his tan jacket. His left hand tucked it away, hidden, while his right hand lifted the coat away from his chest, granting him the space to do so. Again, his own state snagged his attention - the dark, drenched patch of fabric at his underarm jumped out like a bug on a wall. Fiercely, he snatched his jacket shut again, praying to whatever was out there that you had not seen. 

And though you had not seen the soak of his shirt, his odd behavior was garnering more and more of your attention. Cruelly, that made him sweat even more: not only the sun’s rays, but the blaze of your stare burning onto his skin. He cursed the thickness of his leather boots, the ODM gear that strapped his clothing tight to his skin, the turn of events that had brought you to this moment, his stupid genetics, and his even stupider feelings for you. Thoughts spiraling, humidity could mess with him in ways that titans could not.

If you thought hard about it, you may have realized that his humidity induced the same haze in you. Bangs glued to his forehead. Chest rose high and fell deep - combined with his light panting - made your brain boggle. Now and then, a clear bead of sweat would fall from his temple, down his jawline and neck, before disappearing down his collar - where you noticed that his top button was uncharacteristically undone. 

The loud pop! as he uncorked his canteen broke both of your thirsts. Head tilted far back, Adam’s apple deliciously bobbed as he gulped down his water. Lips absentmindedly fallen, your eyes drank as he did. 

Levi recognized, pretending that he hadn’t noticed your stare had thus far failed to shake it. He scoffed internally: someone could use some self-awareness, he was literally dripping with it. With a straight-on side-eye, he maintained eye contact as he gradually lowered the canteen from his lips, only to thrash it and splash it upwards into his own face. Still, you gaped like an idiot. Finally, Levi decided: if you were going to be this indulgent, he would be, too. Maybe then, you’d realize. Levi thumbed a leaking drop from the corner of his mouth. After briefly sucking the digit dry, his tongue snuck between his lips to slowly lick them clean. 

Stone-cold steel eyes and his soft pink tongue - that was what it took to break your concentration. Immediately, you snapped your gaze down to your toes and silently mouthed sorry. 

Despite the heat, shivers somehow managed to seize his figure. With your gaze averted, you thankfully missed them. However, when you no longer had your sight to rely on, other senses instinctively took over. Particularly, scent: aged sandalwood, burnt charcoal, bitter tea. On the training grounds, these smells did not come naturally. And if it were anyone else, you may have cringed at the combination of scents, but upon realization of the one and only source of this musk, you felt your middle warm with inexplicable satisfaction. 

Meanwhile, he was squirming: fuck, how badly he wanted to hit the showers. If Erwin had left this assignment to him, he had every right to leave it to the next person. The thing was, that next person was you, the blinking, doe-eyed, fresh promotion who hardly knew their blades from their gas. If you were anyone else, he could see himself saying: take this cash, head to the square and stop at this stand, buy the tallest bottle they have and bring it back to me. Say a word, you’re dead. 

But you were the entire reason he strove to keep this secret under wraps. To give you such orders would essentially be a confession, erasing the whole point. Between a rock and a hard place, Levi stood frozen in fever. 

The air was thick with moisture and silence. With each breath, the memory of that canteen escapade and his intensifying aura seemed to suffocate you. Internally, he was simmering over how to shoo you away from his disgusting sorry state. On the other hand, you were parsing over how to excuse yourself without being rude. 

The 10:00 bell rang, you used it to craft a feigned excuse, “If you’ve got things under control -”

“I do.” In some ways, he did. In others, absolutely not. 

“- I’m supposed to help mess out with lunch.”

Levi knit his brows, seemed unlikely, but he would not object. With a slight flick of his head, his gesture released you from post and encouraged you inside.

At the door frame and with his back turned, you could not help but take one last look. At his last end and assuming you had departed already, he finally shouldered that Scouts jacket off, revealing his light-grey button up having turned dark with his sweat. His fist clutched his collar and fanned ferociously, allowing his skin to breathe. Inaudible to the other, you both simultaneously reprieved, “Fuck me…”

At 11 on the dot, Levi and the platoon of morning athletes were in the cafeteria line. So what if it meant they called it quits prematurely? Inside, no one was complaining. Levi was relieved that he did not find you there, hopeful that you were in your room avoiding heat stroke, and oddly satisfied to have correctly suspected your “cafeteria-duties” bluff earlier. 

Levi looked like he had been rained on then dunk-tanked. At least, that was how his squad put it, jeering and elbowing, “What happened to you out there?”

They didn’t want to know. He didn’t want them to know. Most of all, he would rather forget this day ever happened. He took his steel tray and made for his room to eat in private - but more importantly, to shower again.  

The venture back to his quarters seemed to drag - maybe it was because the dampness of his clothes had weighed him down, or maybe it was because the empty, lone quiet of the halls allowed his consciousness to echo loud and clear: humiliating, huh? 

He could not deny that it was fucking humiliating, but for as scathing as the memory of that embarrassment was, the recollection of your rose-colored stare was just as impactful. All along, he had feared that if you witnessed his weakness to heat - more so the sweat and stench that came with it, it would have sent you running the other direction. Self-doubt suggested: they did end up running, though. That mess-hall excuse, them being them, they were probably trying not to offend you as they took cover from your reek. Self-confidence objected, but remember the way they looked at you? Don’t play dumb. You know that look anywhere. They like you - and hell - maybe they liked it.

On his doormat, a tall white bottle and a handwritten note confirmed the latter.

Seemed like you were missing something… …not that I think you need it. - (Y/N)

// masterlist //

[hearts4jean]

My take on the mischaracterisation of Jean Kirstein

The mischaracterisation of Jean Kirstein at the end of the Attack on Titan manga and the series as a whole has spread a wide discourse and controversy around this minor character. As he is not apart of the 3 main characters being Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert, Kirsteins upbringing and development has been severely left in the dark. Hajime Isayama’s widespread audience between both Asian and Western societies fail to take note of Kirstein’s character as he is not under the spotlight as much as other characters. This consists of the common belief that he should not be deemed to be a character that has had any development and continues to carry out the same ideals and linear thoughts and mindset; Kirstein’s relationship with Mikasa Ackerman and the sudden pairing of him and Pieck Finger.

Common misconceptions with Jean Kirstein are that fans are quick to assume how he has no type of character development all the way through from when he was first introduced at the first meeting with Keith Shadis as cadets to when he was last seen Post-Rumbling. What is made out to be fan’s perception in Jean’s character is the mess hall scene where a rivalry is introduced between Jaeger and Kirstein. Of course, the audience will side with Jaeger because he is the main character and has witnessed his ideals and trauma from the past few episodes. Kirstein, a mere outsider has not. Isayama intends to give a realistic view on Jaeger's goal of slaying every titan because the idea in itself sounds insane. The same idea would have been felt within other civilians of the past especially within the military, but it has never been done before; The people who have the same mindset as Kirstein have lost faith due to the everlasting duration of this massacre and deemed it not to be possible. This isn’t intended to be an attack against Jaeger, only because Kirstein does not wish to see him give his hopes up. That’s not saying Jean does not want the titans to be gone, in fact he wishes to live comfortably in the interior as a Military Police. For some reason this wish is seen as ‘selfish’ on Kirstein’s part by fans. Is it so bad that someone living amongst human eating monster's desires to live comfortably? Isayama erases the stereotype of Shonen characters desiring to be the saviour in Kirstein and even Annie Leonhart. It is not out of laziness; it is out of loss of faith and thinking rationally. This ideal does change after witnessing the mass casualties in Trost and loss of his implied to be ‘close friend’, Marco Bodt. From this, he creates a new belief for himself but still based off his old one. Kirstein believes every human deserves a chance at life whether they are an enemy or friend. This is why during the fight against Kenny’s squad, he hesitates to kill one of the members. This hesitation almost results in his and Arlert’s deaths. This should not be deemed to be an act of weakness, sentiment and empathy are the right terms to describe this. During Levi Squad’s evaluation of the battle fought, Kirstein speaks up about the idea of humans fighting humans and how it isn’t isn’t morally correct as he became a soldier to kill titans, to reduce the number of lost lives in the scarce number of humans left within the walls. Kirstein is written to be a symbol of realism which is not typically portrayed in Shonen characters as most tend to appear more driven by their environment (whilst in the moment) rather than logic, and instantly getting beaten by the antagonist or dilemma occuring. Kirstein is also shown to be showing this type of empathy during the Marley arc after witnessing Sasha Braus’ death. He ignored Floch Forester’s suggestion of throwing the culprits out of the airship as he still considered them to be children over the fact that they are enemies first. Evidence that confirms that Kirstein has changed as a person is during a conversation him and Forester hold together. “Go back to being the old Jean; Reckless, annoying and cheeky” In which Kirstein finds rude of him to say, showing that he has changed from his old self. Kirstein has drastically changed as a person from when he was a cadet to an ambassador from participating. in the “Battle of Heaven and Earth”; Fans must learn to understand this and to not only pay attention to the main character as minor characters like Kirstein also serve a purpose.

Kirstein’s relationship with Mikasa Ackerman has been a wide controversy for a while as it is hinted that Kirstein takes a small interest in Ackerman; however, this was when he was still young. The only circumstance where he serves a somewhat interest for Ackerman is during the scene in the mess hall where Ackerman walks past him. He is seen to be blushing and compliments her hair. However, this is purely just admiration, not romance. Romance requires two parties that have synchronised feelings about one another. This interaction does not mirror Kirstein’s current self as he barely even hit puberty during this period when this scene occurred. It’s inaccurate to think that someone who is 12 years old thinks and acts the same as they do when they are 19 years old. A counterargument to this is how the woman in Jean’s dream resembles Ackerman. That is correct, the woman did resemble Ackerman, however it was never confirmed that Kirstein’s spouse in said dream was Ackerman herself. If it was, isayama would have made it clear. Even so, that wasn’t the purpose behind the showing of this dream. This dream depicts how much Kirstein desires to live in a state of comfort whilst disaster is striking. Isayama was smart to display this as it shows a personal depiction of what one of the characters experiencing this war would be thinking. Kirstein’s relationship with Ackerman solely as her comrade who values her existence deeply. This is where audience’s perceptions of Kirstein start to turn to the wrong direction. Kirstein values all his comrades as well as Ackerman. Kirstein manages to keep his distance and is respectful about Ackerman’s relationship with Jaeger. Yes, it is hinted that he especially loves when a woman has long black hair from when he compliments Ackerman’s locks, a portrait he completed of a woman with black hair, and the fact that Jaeger made a comment mentioning Jean about when it was mentioned that people overseas would have dark hair. “Jean would like that.” The misconception of Ackerman marrying Kirstein at the end of the manga is the most widespread misinterpretation currently. It is not like Isayama to pair two characters all of a sudden without a longing build-up to where they admit their feelings for one another. Kirstein has always been respectful of Jaeger’s relationship with Ackerman and ensures to keep his distance; It is not like him to barge into Ackerman mourning her lost lover and sweeping her up on her feet again and taking the opportunity because “Jaeger is dead now”. The scene where he suggests to Ackerman that they must kill Jaeger is not for his own personal gain so his “competition” is gone, it was a genuine suggestion that would benefit all of humanity; This would make sense considering his nature. Isayama does not desire for us to wonder if Ackerman ended up with someone else or not because that completely misses the point of what he is trying to conclude. Even if Ackerman did supposedly move on, it was unlikely to be Kirstein as they already know each other too well and their goals and ambitions would clash constantly; it would not be a healthy relationship as Kirstein would be well aware that she still loves Jaeger. The fact that Ackerman kept the scarf till she was buried may sign that she did not move on at all because nothing can make her move on from the emotional strain Jaeger’s death had on her. Inevitably, Kirstein would not desire to be a burden to her, same as anyone else.

The fanon pairing of Kirstein and Pieck Finger is sudden and way out of character. Ever since Pieck has been introduced, there was a wide discussion of who she should be shipped with as what anime fans always do because a character not just live in peace without any love interest. Initially, a popular pairing was of her with Porco Galliard, but now that he is out of the picture; Pieck is singled-out again. Attention is brought upon Kirstein, and something drives them into shipping them together. This was not out of pure connection; PikuJean is merely based off the fact that they both meet each other standards. A Reddit user states: “Jean likes women with long black hair and Pieck likes men with beards”. Quite frankly, this sentence alone depicts how ignorant anime fans are to how relationships work because this is the only argument they have. Is that saying that you can instantly fall head over heels for someone only because they have a characteristic that you find attractive? there is a difference between being attracted to someone and loving someone. Grisha Jaeger has a beard too, why not pair him with Pieck? Kiyomi has long black hair, hey, she must be perfect for Kirstein! See how ridiculous it sounds? Another argument that PikuJean shippers have is the fact that they have each other to fill the void for their “lost lovers” since Kirstein is unable to be with Ackerman and Pieck experiencing the same with Galliard who is deceased. Does that not sound downright disrespectful on Kirstein’s part? It’s the same as with Ackerman, swooping Pieck off her feet now that her “love interest” is deceased? Kirstein is always seen as the “Plan B” in these types of situations. The only thing that is driven by the pairing of Pieck and Kirstein is convenience. There is no real connection. One of the pieces of “evidence” to this pairing is the fact that Kirstein and Pieck were working alongside each other during the Rumbling and the fact that Kirstein saved her at one point. Is that not what he is supposed to do? To make sure no one else dies. This counters with Kirstein’s objective and ideals to ensure no one else losses their life because of someone he’s known for 7 years. Isayama’s audience is extremely brainwashed from other types of media that display these romantic tropes which do not apply in such a complex story as this. Attack on Titans complexity is the reason why people are quick to misinform each other.

To conclude this, the mischaracterisation of Jean Kirstein from the Attack on Titan manga and the series as a whole has spread a wide discourse and controversy around him. This is because Hajime Isayama ensures to write his characters to be complex and not 1 dimensional which is common in minor characters of a Shonen setting. This consists of the common belief that he should not be deemed to be a character that has had any development and growth, his relationship with Mikasa Ackerman and the sudden pairing of him and Pieck Finger.

[urbandeity]

In honor of its completion anniversary I would like to boost one of my precious children fics that I love very dearly 👉👈

this is the first longfic I actually completed and I will always cherish the days I spent researching and planning it

also, much love to the readers, past present and future, that have interacted with this fic and motivated me to keep writing :) I am madly in love with all of you :))))

(and, another shoutout to @veratrance and her gorgeous fic Felines and Canidae!! HWHBFO was very much inspired by that fic ((and omg my writing style is also heavily inspired by hers (((i'm so sorry Mai i just love how you write it actually consumed me whole asdkjlaslkjakls))))))

His Wounded Heart Beats For One

Relationship: Levi Ackerman/Reader

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Tags: Canon Universe, Original Characters, Slow Burn, Eventual Romance, Eventual Fluff, Mutual Pining, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Violence, Blood and Injury, Medical Procedures, Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Aggressive Levi Ackerman, Badass Levi Ackerman, Pre-Fall of Shiganshina Arc

Summary: It's the year 844. You're putting your medical expertise to use wherever it's requested within the Walls, often leaving your residence in Trost to venture to new opportunities. On one volunteer trip to assist the Scouts after an expedition, you come to learn about the mysterious survivor of Flagon's section. His strength intrigues you, and your curiosity spurs you to follow him right into the daunting jaws of the Scout Regiment.

read it on ao3!

[sailorspica]

hitch is jean in a different font

i might have a new WIP or two cooking, and one of them has me vibrating and combing over canon to make this argument: hitch as jean's shadow, their parallel journeys, her growth only a few months behind his. marlowe as a kind of marco, stohess as her trost.

for me it's all toward a reijean / hitchannie agenda but pray any hitch and jean stans appreciate:

we meet hitch as an almost-jean: well-aware of what the military police actually is. pragmatic. in the anime's expansion of stohess, jean looks at the MPs scrambling and thinks, "i could've actually been one of them too, huh? just how did i end up here instead?"

the scene of marlowe and hitch cleaning up stohess is another anime addition, in the s2 premiere. marlowe is bewildered that titans were in sina to begin with, but hitch's focus is more mundane: "the worst thing about it all is that so many people died for no good reason." the hulu subtitles are more like "there's no official reason all these people died." levi echoes the sentiment in 59 when he bluntly tells them annie was the female titan: "no one knows a damn thing."

levi trusts jean to feel them out for a reason, and i think hitch impressed him way more than marlowe. he respects her disgust for loss of life, and her balls to blame the survey corps for it. she's actually a mini nile dawk there, to me, when nile realizes what erwin is up to in stohess, and it makes me think that jean's pragmatism is a necessary injection of the MPs' better traits into the suicidal SC. that it's in the same chapter as jean and armin recovering from their run-in with the interior squad is telling.

in the 125 hitch/annie date, annie is looking up at the colossals, and hitch literally grounds her. annie is struck by their height, maybe she thinks of bertolt, maybe she's thinking of her mission to prevent this from happening, but hitch doesn't give a shit about the titans themselves, only what they leave in their wake. it feels similar to jean telling eren about marco's death in 22. marco instilled in jean that a leader is honest about what they ask people to die for; hitch is disgusted by the senselessness of the death her whole career has been about cleaning up.

i think it's easy to look at hitch yawning among the jaegerists in 139 as a bit of her cockroach quality—keeping her head down and saluting along for her survival among fascists, like shadis advises the recruits who beat him (also in 125). but we have seen her demonstrate such kindness, and mourn. practically, she must be pissed that the junta she and marlowe risked themselves to install has been totally upended; she stands by her actions in the uprising arc, look at how she and armin witness zackly's assassination. but beyond that, she hates death more than anything. she could reason that marlowe's death was toward something tangible, the truth of their world, but that it snowballed into the death of most of the world? the rumbling is probably a national holiday to those freaks. it's ghoulish to her.

for my ship agenda (even if you're into these relationships only platonically):

hitch talking to annie's crystal feels like jean saving reiner in shiganshina. everyone else was ready to discard or forget about these traitors, but hitch, jean, and armin all cling to the softness they couldn't reconcile with annie and reiner's titan forms. with what he thought were his dying breaths, reiner delivered ymir's letter. on her day off, in Wall Sina, Goodbye, annie kept her word, and tried to reunite a father and daughter. hitch might have negged her for it, seen it as busy work, but it's the same kindness she bullied marlowe for, if carefully buried under annie's insistence that it was just the quid pro quo between them.

idc that armin talked to her, too, or he knew her longer. hitch fuckin mourned her!! and i think being angry with annie, questioning her for four years, is way, way more humanizing than armin basically monologuing at her while feeling sorry for himself and bertolt and titan shifters generally. (this sounds like i hate armin but swear i love him; i just think aruani is most interesting when bertolt is involved.)

hitch accurately clocks that annie seemed afraid of getting close to people. her own fellow cadets just thought of her as distant, bored; when hange asks the scouts in the 104th about RBA's interactions as cadets, they're at a loss, even armin. even her fellow warriors didn't really see her. annie's distance was a kindness, and her own armor. she sees reibert's deep cover as a waste of time, but i think she also sees they're bound to hurt themselves and their mission in the long run. even though everyone felt betrayed after stohess, reiner was a greater shock, a deeper wound. i think annie wanted to minimize hurt on all fronts. (look how she dips out of the alliance, it's because she's tired, and doesn't want to kill eren, or anyone.)

jean comes to understand reiner only after he and connie and armin have to kill their 104th classmates at the pier. hitch can't fully fathom annie's circumstances or pain, especially not annie saying she'd do it all again, but hitch listens to it all and thanks her for the vulnerability, for softening, which is more compassion than most of the paradis side of the alliance has managed so far. she has a head start on the emotional strides jean makes in between 127 and 133, maybe because she got a bit of catharsis beating her fists against annie's crystal for four years.

they're both sick of their shit

[frostfires-blog]

SNK ED 7: Akuma no Ko Hanakotoba Analysis

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-> Evening Primrose

The first flower pictured in Akuma no Ko is the white evening primrose (Oenothera speciosa). Evening primrose is known as tsukimiso (月見草) in Japanese and its hanakotoba meanings are “silent affection” and “transient spirit”. In English floriography, they symbolize mute devotion, inconstancy, and faithfulness. As its name suggests, evening primrose blooms at night thus avoiding public view. This is where the meanings of silent affection and mute devotion are derived from. White evening primrose flowers turn pale pink when they wither in the morning, this is where the flower's meaning of inconstancy and transient spirit are derived from. In the visuals of this ending, young Eren is surrounded by countless white evening primrose flowers as our focus is drawn to a single evening primrose a single drop of blood stains the flower. This could symbolize Eren being corrupted by hatred, trauma, and loss or Eren’s love for those he is close to corrupting his morals. Eren’s shortened lifespan greatly contrasts his lofty goals and immense determination which ties into the flower symbolising transient spirit. Eren has stated that he will keep “moving forward” and has greatly changed since his first appearance both physically as well as mentally. This fits in well with the flower symbolizing inconstancy. Eren has hidden his feelings and intentions from his friends and loved ones, especially Mikasa, until the moment of his death. This ties in well with the flower symbolizing mute devotion, faithfulness, and silent affection. 

-> Wildflowers (Part 1)

As the song reaches its chorus both the cage surrounding Eren as well as the accompanying darkness disappear as he is surrounded by a bright field of blooming wildflowers. The most notable of these wildflowers are yellow daisies and lavender. Daisies (Bellis) are known as hinagiku (デイジー) in Japanese, and they hold the hanakotoba meanings of faith, “secret love”, hope, beauty, peace, and faith. In English floriography, yellow daisies symbolise joy, and growth as well as a turning point or new beginning. Season 4 has been an immense defining moment for Eren, and his final actions have resulted in a tentative peace sort of new beginning for humanity tying into the flower symbolising turning points, new beginnings and peace. Lavender (Lavandula) is known as rabenda (ラベンダー) in Japanese. Its hanakotoba meanings include “expectation”, “suspicion”, “distrust” and “answer me”. In English floriography, lavender flowers symbolise devotion and love in addition to distrust and silence. The tranquillizing effect of lavender and its mysteriously strong scent is what its meanings of silence and distrust have given rise to its respective meanings of “silence” and “distrust”. Throughout most of the final arc, Eren’s motivations and feelings have been secret to his friends and comrades. In the days leading up to his defection from the scouting regiment, others regarded him with suspicion and distrust whilst simultaneously having expectations for him. After his defection, his friends demanded answers from him to no avail. This ties into lavender’s meanings of expectation, distrust, suspicion, silence and “answer me”. Lavender’s meaning of devotion complements Eren’s determination towards protecting his loved ones is shown through his willingness to dirty his hands, go through immense suffering and even temporarily hurt them for their own ultimate benefit.

-> Wisteria

We are then shown various locales in Paradise Island including Trost district and Utgard castle all of which are pictured as decrepit, uninhibited ruins overtaken by various plants. The most prominent of these is the wisteria pictured growing on the brick walls of the Trost district. Wisteria is known as fuji (藤) in Japanese. Its hanakotoba meanings are “kindness”, “welcome”, “never leave” and “intoxicated/drunk in love”. In Japanese culture, wisteria has also come to symbolize honour, wisdom, endurance, steadfastness and support. In English floriography, wisteria is associated with being steadfast, faithful and welcoming. Additional meanings include tenderness and sensitivity. Wisteria’s meanings of steadfastness and endurance complement Eren’s determination and stubbornness while its meanings of honour and kindness contradict Eren’s willingness to sacrifice the greater good in order to protect those important to him. Wisteria’s tendency to grip tightly to trees to grow up straight is what has led to it coming to mean an unwillingness to let go or being drunk in love. This concept strongly encapsulates Eren’s feelings towards Mikasa, particularly highlighting his unwillingness to see her move on after his death.

-> Wildflowers (Part 2)

The final panels in this ending show older Eren walking freely in the field of wildflowers. As our focus is shifted to his feet trotting through the myriads of flora. The most notable of which are white daisies, violets, white globe amaranth, nemophila and cosmos. Daisies (Bellis) are known as hinagiku (デイジー) in Japanese, and they hold the hanakotoba meanings of faith, “secret love”, hope, beauty, peace, and faith. In English floriography, white daisies symbolise innocence. The concept of childhood innocence being corrupted by cruelties of war and discord is a central theme in Attack on Titan. Violets (Viola) are known as sumire (菫) in Japanese. Its hanakotoba meanings include “humility”, “sincerity”, “small happiness” and “love”. While in English floriography they represent faithfulness, modesty, affection and virtue.  The meaning “small happiness” resonates with Eren’s ideology as he is willing to sacrifice many so that those he cares for (a small minority) are happy. Nemophila are more commonly known as baby blue eyes and are called rurikarakusa (ネモフィラ) in Japan. Its hanakotoba meanings are daintiness, “I forgive you” and “success everywhere”. Although Eren maintains a determined and cold persona in order to fulfil his plans, deep down he is scared and unsure which ties into the flower symbolising daintiness. In the end despite dying and being stopped partway, his loved ones are able to live fulfilling lives tying into the flower’s meaning of “success everywhere”. White globe amaranth (Gomphrena globosa) is known as sennichikou (センニチコウ) in Japanese. Its hanakotoba meanings are unfading love as well as timeless/eternal love. In English floriography, they symbolise unfading love, immortality, hope in misery as well as what is unchangeable. The name and meaning of this flower both derive from the flower’s long flowering period. The phrase “hope in misery” perfectly encapsulates what many of the characters including Eren have been struggling to grasp.  The meanings of unfading, timeless and eternal love describe many of the friendships and relationships in the show and encapsulate its themes of love and loss. At this point, Eren is set on fulfilling his goals despite his friends wanting to change his mind. This ties into the flower symbolising what is unchangeable. The Cosmos flower is known as kosumosu (宇宙) in Japan. Its name is derived from the Greek word "Kosmos" meaning harmony and order. This has contributed to the flower coming to symbolise harmony, beauty and peace in English floriography. Its hanakotoba meanings include humility, purity, affection and modesty. The Cosmos flower is also said to represent "the joys that love and life can bring". Ironically Attack on Titan rarely focuses on the joys that love and life can bring but instead highlights that while beautiful, the world is also especially cruel. Additionally, the cosmos flower’s meanings of peace, purity and harmony are juxtaposed with the dark themes of war, loss, corruption and sacrifice in the show.

P.S.

-> Bellflower

Bellflowers have made consistent appearances in Attack on Titan since the first episode. Bellflowers are from the Campanulaceae family and are known as berufurawā (ベルフラワー) or kikyo (キキョウ) in Japanese. Its hanakotoba meanings are gratitude and sincerity. While in English floriography they symbolise constancy, sorrowful regret, humility and kindness. The flowers made notable appearances in the opening scene under the tree where Eren and Mikasa were sitting as well as in season 2 where Eren unlocked the co-ordinate power of the founding titan after Mikasa’s speech. In both scenes, we see characters being vulnerable after having premonitions of future loss and having faced repeated loss. This ties in with the flower’s meanings of humility, sorrowful regret, and sincerity. After Mikasa’s speech—wherein she thanked Eren for everything he had done for her—Eren gets up and is motivated to persevere once more. This ties in with the flower’s meanings of constancy, kindness, and gratitude.

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[If you liked this post, check out my other hanakotoba analysis posts here ❀]

[I didn't go into a lot of detail here because everything is very abstract and subtle and is thus difficult to explain than with other shows... Also, many people—including myself—have very conflicting views on and interpretations of the ending of Attack on Titan... So, I don't want to stir up discourse.]