#trope playground
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characters going “we were lovers once”: eh, it’s okay i guess. it’s nice enough
characters going “we were friends once”: absolutely devastating. one hit knockout i’m gone
#maybe it’s cause i’m arospec#but this just hits so hard for me every time#we were once friends. we once chased each other in the playground. we held one another’s still beating hearts in our palms#not to say u can’t have that as lovers but idk. friendship just hits rly hard for me#on friendship#tropes#writing#aromantic
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i thought about aphmau & levin & malachi & now i need to lie down .
#MY BABIESSSS#WAUUGHHHHHH#MALACHI MY BABY BOY. UGH..MY BABY. MY BABY BOY. MY . MSMDMSMFNDHFNKSRNEHDHF#i need to get my feelings about them into words because i'm actually so ill about aphmau's first 2 boys#no offense to lilith and alina you have occupied zero space in my mind the past decade#but those baby boys......#i feel bad i literally forget about lilith garnet though im sorry like i think i was invested at the time but now like#i must remind myself of her existence#and alina i didn't really see s3 so my main memory of her is just when aph was pregnant with her......#i feel for lilith though that she got double named after past relationships of her parents lmao that's crazy#i fw it but the fact it was not once but twice is so funny and dreadful for her#we should name her after your dead wife.... no let's name her a veryvery similiar name to my dead wife it's what she would have wanted.....#let's also name her after your situationship stuck in another dimension....#yes..... good......#we are so good at naming babies ......#naming a fictional baby after another character important to the parent is a trope i love#but to do it TWICE to ONE BABY with two of your respective past loves is sooo wild for that baby#“why is my sister's name rose” “because your mother loves roses” “thanks mom” “no problem Lilith Garnet Lauren Arin Zoelle”#how did this turn into a lilith post???????????????#came for the levin & malachi post stayed for zvahlne bullying a baby girl in the tags for her name IM SORRY LILITH#zvahlne yaps#aphmau#aphblr#minecraft diaries#mcd#mcd levin#mcd malachi#the tags are my playground i love it down here
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hey so reading through disparateum and holy shit how do you come up with this it's insane
main question is though, have you ever played a game/campaign with it? i think i might get my friends to give it a try, but I'm unsure how it might go/how to expand upon the small business campaign, and would love some advice (assuming the seven plays doc is a leanly-written campaign)
thanks a lot in advance and please do keep cooking you're like the christopher nolan for ttrpgs for me <3
hey hey, really glad to hear you're liking it!
I have played Disparateum a few times, not yet for a longer campaign though. the number one thing I recommend is to play with a lassiez-faire philosophy. the rules and setting are meant to be evocative but open-ended, with plenty of tools meant to let you shake things up dramatically. let people propose absurd ideas, and see where they lead you!
as for starting points, you've got the gist! small business is a jumping-off point for a game, aimed a bit more at being a one-shot but you could certainly flesh it out across multiple sessions. once it's done it'll hopefully put you in a good position for a longer game too, since you'll have some characters, settings, and prior jaunts through the Disparateum to pull on for future stories.
Apoptosis, tucked away in the Knick-Knacks & Trinkets folder, is another little adventure module appropriate if you like your surreal adventures more psychosexual horror and less goofy shenanigans. it's very explicitly modeled after Pathologic, but you could also play Disparateum in a more Donnie Darko, Twin Peaks, or Being John Malkovich way too.
you could also just... ignore all that! the Ritual of Beginning is designed to give your group a forward push, and letting the rest of the game play out as it may! the first variation of it (on real-world page 5) gives the Knight a broad goal and then ties the Thief and Seer into their story. the second variation (on page 41) lets the Bard, Scribe, and Mage negotiate a pair of plotlines, with the player who "won" acting as connective tissue between them. both of these give your players a lot of agency, which can be good in that it pulls them in quickly and gets things moving, but bad in that it's harder to prep for and requires your players to come to the table already bustling with ideas. something to consider, depending on the kind of group you play with!
if you do end up playing, I hope you and your friends have a wonderful time, and I'd love to hear how it goes!
#ttrpgs#Disparateum#also as a little bonus#im gonna drop a random adventure hook for each layer currently available#The City: there's been a murder in the Outlook Hotel! wander its labyrinth halls finding clues and talking with suspicious guests!#The Dreaming: the Landscapist has vanished into one of her paintings! you'll have to hunt through em all to find where (and why) she's gone#The Narrative: Ghemsue suspects another dragon of trying to subvert your story. figure out the scheme as you avoid the pull of genre tropes#The Network: the Weaver Widow is sick and it's manifesting as a dangerous virus spreading through the Web. find a cure before it's too late#⸮ɿɘɈƨiniƨ ϱniʜɈɘmoƨ ɿo noiɈɒɿdɘlɘɔ Ɉnɘɔonni nɒ Ɉi ƨi .lɒviɈƨɘʇ ɒ ɿoʇ ɿɘʜɈɒϱ ƨnoiɈɔɘlʇɘɿ bnɒ γɈqmɘ ɘɿɒ ƨɿoɿɿim :noiɈɔɘlʇɘЯ ɘʜT#The Interior: you're a stranger to the Named City but everyone here recognizes you. delve into your own mind to find what you once buried.#The Playground: the Thousand-Chair Castle is under siege by rude teenagers! the Emperor of Children has sought you out to drive them away.
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please grade the following tropes:
only one bed
fake relationship
fell first / fell harder
sickfic
What is sickfic? Like taking care of someone who is sick?
Okay I have to admit something. I have read short fics by friends and then when I read smut I just skip to the good stuff most of the time because like I'm actively trying to masturbate y'know but if it's good and I'm not doing it just to get rid of the feeling and because it's fun then I'll read the whole thing and all the build up.
Only one bed: A, love it, so fun, personally one of my favorite ways to rile up a partner is when you're spooning "oh sorry I'm just trying to get adjusted teehee"
Fake relationship: B? It's fake to other people right? That's the trope? Starts fake then becomes real? I think that's cute.
Fell first/fell harder:

What do you think?
#emotional support imagination playground#i dont know anything about fanfic tropes but im just reblogging ask games in the hope they inspire me#i was thinking of using these as writing suggestions#actually
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I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that
A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people
B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media
C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.
#unimportant thoughts#i dont feel like dropping specifics in post but like. people online drive me legitimately insane#good example is Ready Player One. its an okay book but people LOVE to hate on it for being a shallow nostalgia grab for old male demographic#and like. yeah. but also comsider that it Was written earnestly by a man in that demographic? and that people enjoyed it???#and maybe im soft hearted but my Dad was a nerd in the 80’s so both of us reading that book and comparing our experiences with it and#learning about his childhood from him. it was awesome yk??? was the book groudbreaking or particularly moving? no#are there a lot of fair criticisms you can make about the book regarding its poorly written female characters and painfully male tone#throughout? absolutely. its not the most vile piece of media its barely mediocre and its not the best thing since sliced bread either#and it kills me because instead of being able to have conversations like thay#people just attack and attack and attack and ATTACK#I don’t know i think the rise of this booktook wattpad level romance smut is another big part of this#are those books incredible? no. definitely not. are they decent? yeah theyre fine enough#are their characters shallow; do they follow tropes; are the characters clearly romanticized objects for us to googoo eye over? yeah#so fucking what??? they arent winning pulitzer prizes theyre just popular online and easily accesible#people love consumbable media thats not an inherently bad thing#and i think its hypocritical for people to defend one and attack the other or even to attack both#media doesnt exist to be appropriately Deep and Meaningful before people are allowed to consume and enjoy it#like. i think theres a LOT of levels of undestanding compassion and respect that people need to reach before these conversations are worth#anything. because right now it really feels like girls and boys arguing back and forth on the playground over whos show is better#anyways. i could go on but i wont.#bottom line i suggest you take a deep look at how ‘realistic’ and ‘meaningful’ the media you enjoy actually fucking is before you start#critizing other media for being too shallow or unrealistic depictions of something#hate to break it to you guys but 90% of fictional characters are fictional and dont act like people irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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confession: i really really like enemies to lovers trope
#babblings#yeah this is fluff acc but that IS my root#like there is something inherently romantic from seeing the ugliest side and then include that side in the “i inherently in love#with every part of you“#also the tension and the whole *gestures widly* all that#the dillema that might or might not be included#all im saying while i do write fluff#might write this trope sometimes soon#the pure aspect love is indeed amazing#but the aspect of love that affects how you view someone and act is just#this includes bllk too but genshin is just a fun playground to play around with this
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Daily excerpt from chapter 8 of Underline the Gold:
'I don't think your body can manage true suppressants,' Temsen said candidly. 'It could be that this is a hiccup on the road to recovery, you're eating more, you have more energy, and your body is re-familiarising itself without really having the true amount of resources to handle it. The fact that you're showing no signs of arousal at all suggests a heat that can't necessarily be solved by an alpha. Penetrative sex is obviously off the table, but I'm not ruling out exposure to pheromones through scenting and drinking.' Drinking… Flitmouse blinked slowly at Temsen. Perhaps he should feel disgusted at the thought, but he didn't. He didn't hate alphas in general, he certainly didn't hate Anton, and he had surprisingly few problems with what Temsen was implying. 'How would that work, exactly?' Flitmouse said shakily. 'Drinking?' Anton tensed at Flitmouse's back. 'Anton would likely masturbate into a container of some kind. We've done things like this before. Are you saying you'd be open to that?' 'Yes,' Flitmouse said. 'But not an internal exam?' 'That's correct.'
#daily excerpt#underline the gold#underline the rainbow#omegaverse#alois flitmouse#anton valenosk#anton the brave#so NOT gonna lie but this actually makes me laugh so much#this trope is so ridiculous#but i'm gonna make it earnest don't you worry asdlkfjsa#lmao omegaverse is such a fun playground#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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LEE HEESEUNG FIC REC LIST
s, smut | f, fluff | a, angst | suggestive is noted
since my fic recs are super popular on my nct blog, I decided to start on this blog! fics with less words and less plot/more smut are near the bottom of the list.
i don't want to be your roommate, i want to kiss your neck [ bestfriend's brother!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,f,a
let's collab [ camboy!heeseung x camgirl!reader] s
lee heeseung - the brother's best friend trope, part two [ brother's bestfriend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,f,a
only if you say yes [ enemies to fwb au ] s,f,a
traces of you. [ loser!heeseung x tutor!reader ] s,f,a
cherry [ pervert!heeseung x virgin!reader ] s,f,a
you plus me [ ex-friend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,f,a
tides of regret [ ex bestfriend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,f,a
coffee & cream [ virgin!heeseung x virgin fem!reader ] s,f,a
falling alone [ lieutenant!heeseung x therapist housewife!reader, strained marriage au ] s,f,a
player rank: platinum [ simp gamer!heeseung x fem!reader, sister's bf au ] s,a
only if you say yes (please say yes) [ enemies to lovers au ] s,f,a
two's a company [ incompatible friend!heeseung x fem!reader, forced proximity au] s
i offer you my everything [ basketball captain!heeseung x virgin!reader ] s,f
m.o.r.e. - my only ruined escape [husband's friend!heeseung x fem!reader, toxic marriage au ] s,f,a
not if it's you, part two [ nerd!heeseung x fem!reader, strangers to lovers ] s,f,a
racing, beating [ illegal-racer!heeseung x model!reader, arranged marriaged au ] s
one hundred and one [ little brother's bestfriend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,a
how to get back at your ex [ ex!heeseung x fem!reader, coworkers au ] s,f,a
what you need [ boyfriend's friend!heeseung x fem!reader, roommates au ] s,a
you make me [ stranger!heeseung x insomniac!reader ] suggestive
wrong doings [ stepdad!heeseung x stepdaughter!reader ] s,a
cross the line [ childhood best friends to lovers ] s,f
prince charming's mismatch [ prince!heeseung x princess!reader ] suggestive
pool party [ brother's bestfriend!heeseung x fem!reader, pool party au ] s,f,a
saint matthew's academy [toxic rich!heeseung x innocent!reader, private school au ] s,f,a
playground crush [ neighbor!heeseung x fem!reader, strangers to lovers ] s
as long as you'll let me [ virgin!heeseung x badgirl!reader ] s
i hate you [ bestfriend's brother!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,f
the space between [ rich basketball player!reader x flowershop owner!reader ] s,f,a
give it time [ inexperienced!heeseung x jake's sister!reader ] s
conflict of interest [ pool cleaner!heeseung x rich fem!reader ] s
heavenly [ established relationship, stuck inside due to storm au ] s
“just sit on my lap, it’ll be fine” [ gamer!heeseung x fem!reader, no nut november au ] s
two moons [ plug!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
want [ boyfriend!heeseung x fem!reader, first time au ] s
tethered [ emo!heeseung x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers au ] s,a
mine or yours? [ stepbrother!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
helping hand [ bestfriend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
let me show you [ experienced friend!heeseung x inexperienced fem!reader ] s,f
the girl from the bar [ bartender!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,f
easy access [ ex!heeseung x fem!reader ] s,a
a sucker for the taste [ experienced husband!heeseung x virgin!reader ] s,f
apple cider [ roommate!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
something new [ established relationship au ] s
taste [ munch!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
90 days of pleasure [ enemies to lovers ] s,f,a
teddy bear pajamas [ heeseung x jay's sister!reader ] s
surprise [ established relationship au ] s
plushies and headsets [ bestfriend!heeseung x petite!reader ] s
addicted [roommate!heeseung x tutor!reader ] s
wet [ water gun fight au ] s
road trip [ friend!heeseung x fem!reader, smut in car w friends ] s
diet pepsi [ bestfriend's brother!heeseung x virgin!reader ] s
the love game [ gamer!heeseung x fem!reader, established relationship ] s,f
wet dreams [ roommate!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
attention [ gamer boyfriend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
tasty [ bestfriend!heeseung x fem!reader ] s
breaking free [ stoner!heeseung x fem!reader ] suggestive,f,a
forced roommates or forced to be lovers? [ popular pervy!gamer heeseung x popular cheerleader!reader ] s,f
homecoming [ idol!heeseung x fem!reader, established relationship ] s
#enhypen#enha#enha heeseung#lee heeseung#heeseung#lee heesung x reader#heesung enhypen#lee heesung smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen smut#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung imagines#lee heeseung x you#enhypen lee heeseung#enhypen heeseung#heeseung x reader#heeseung enhypen#heeseung enha#heeseung smut#heeseung lee#lee heeseung fic#enhypen ff#enhypen jake#enhypen imagines#heeseung x you#heeseung angst
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😍 the assigned team Dom dynamic is great, but assigned team sub is even better. A rookie Dom finally getting to scene with someone mature who knows what they need, and is happy to teach the younger Dom.
!!!! so very good ohmg. and especially if that dom's had a celeb crush on that rookie for ages too. very delicious dynamic flips, would absolutely love to see more 🥺
#trope playground#d/s for ts#unjustifiably cocky dom/unsure dom/inexperienced dom/mmmmasjdh. weak for all of them
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The major reason Dante and Vergil's rivalry works better than almost any other take on the trope is because the games are totally self aware about how dumb and immature the whole trope is and they lean way the hell into it. Like yeah, there's real stakes, turmoil and emotional wounds between them that drive their eternal conflict but at the same time it's pretty obvious that the real reason they fight all the time is because they're both just the biggest goddamn children on the planet.
It really is just playground bickering elevated to apocalyptic proportions by sheer virtue of them both being demigods.
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To me, it's funny when Bruce adopts Danny on the spot. It's funnier when his kids do it for him. Bonus if everyone still think Bruce has some sort of adoption problem.
Situations like 'Danny haunts the "rich airhead's" house for free room and board' or 'Danny befriends Batkid, who is rightfully horrified by his living situation and practically drags him to the manor like a feral cat' just tickle me teal.
It's fun. It's shenaniganery.
Danny trying to hide from Batman. The kid[s] trying to hide Danny from Batman out of some sense of 'Can't let Bruce adopt this one' when in reality they are the one[s] who adopted Danny and Bruce's only role is to make it legally official if Danny wants. Bruce in the background like 'I look but I do not see' because he's not gonna turn away a kid in need, especially not when his other children are already attached.
It just feels like it works really well.
Every day i read a post where people write that “Bruce Wayne has an adoption problem” or that Danny is adoption bait on the first second of seeing him, not even knowing if he has a want of vengeance and a sad backstory and parallels to Bruce, and every day I want to softly cry in a corner.
#Another alternative is Bruce harboring Danny while the JL dismantle the GIW and the Anti-Ecto Acts#And usually arrest the Fenton parents too#And it's not that Bruce planned to adopt Danny#Danny just needed an ecto rich environment to hide in where he wouldn't be looked for#And/or where he could be protected from anyone hunting for him#And again what was supposed to be a temporary situation eventually mutates into something longer term and more familial#Still doesn't even need to end in adoption#Family can always be big and complicated and ineffable#Anywho - just figured I'd drop a couple other ways to spin things for folks that really wanna put Danny with the Batfam#And of course any trope that grows too big - becomes too mainstream- is invariably gonna end up feeling like beating a dead horse to someon#Like how some folks are getting tired of Ghost King Danny stuff#Never let someone else's opinion ruin your fun#Just make peace with the fact that sometimes your fun is going to be someone else's 'no thanks'#But also consider switching things up and digging deeper some times#Fandom is a playground#There are swings and monkey bars and jungle gyms and sand boxes and lots of other folks to play with#You don't have to spend your whole time going down the same slide 400 times#But I'm not gonna argue if that's really what you wanna do
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a long way from the playground // rafe cameron x reader
summary ; when you met rafe on the playground of the school, he was such a crybaby but you were there for him as his most beloved (and unique) friend until that accident which happened in high school.
seven years after that argument, you met him again. and mostly, seven years after, the crybaby that you know became the big boy that everyone knows.
genre ; childhood bestfriends to strangers to lovers (literally my favorite trope of the world), slight of angst, fluff, and smut. he fell first (and alone at first lmfao...)but she fell harder trope. one-shot.
warnings ; argument, family issues, mentions of cheating, smut, miscommunication, mentions of anger issues, fear of abandonment/being alone, jealousy, first time/virginity, past/present, violence ?( reader slapping rafe), being pogue/kook is not a big deal, mentions of rafe's mother.
author's note : it's 4k. was inspired by eighteen by one direction and to build a home by the cinematic orchestra. trying myself on something soft and kinda angst (but more in a bittersweet way.)
rafe was not always being the big boy everyone knew. it had taken seven years between the two of you for him to become stronger and more mature. when you met him, he was a whiny little boy who loved to fight, but cried every time you treated his wounds. you always managed to make him smile when you placed a bandage on the bleeding bruise and promised him that if he calmed down, the injury would disappear.
you started being there for him from the moment you were just seven years old.you understood that rafe needed someone in his life, because no one was there for him. you never understood why, but people loved to say, even the teacher and his family that there was something weird about him.
you heard the others spreading rumors about it a couple times. it was so easy to criticize others rather than judge yourself. at that moment, rafe didn't scare anyone. it was not because he had the prestigious cameron name that it made his classmates fear him.
he was like everyone else, there was no kook or pogue. everyone was too young to be different, the prey could be anyone in the group, but the leader always remained the same.
the first time you and rafe cameron were really close was on mother's day. the whole class had been assigned to make a gift and in the most saddest way possible, everyone had a mother to give their present to. everyone except Rafe, but you didn't know about that before the accident.
having finished making your own gift, you surprised your friend from behind and he dropped his vase on the ground. you had never felt so sad in your entire life when you saw the broken glass on the floor. you could clearly feel your heart cracking in your ribcage, your veins freezing, and your breath dying in your throat, the hot rush of tears inside your eyes.
"rafe, i'm really sorry. I...really, I didn't mean to..."
“it’s okay, y/n. I didn’t have anyone to give it to anyway...”
his voice cracked slightly in his knotted throat as he managed to not show you how hurt he was. he was trying to be strong, and not a crybaby — that nickname that you given him every time. and his eyes had become so full and wet with tears, the blue ocean of his eyes drowning in the hot little boy whines.
rafe cameron was a broken child, not just since you broke his vase. no, always. since he no longer had his mother. and you realized it in such a cruel way that you wanted to disappear.
he had so many tears, and you felt like they could flow down his cheeks forever, that even an eternity wouldn't be enough to wipe them away. and even if you had been a siren, you would never have been able to swim in water as salty as his present sadness.
"my mother...left me..." he admitted softly between sniffles, his nose red and leaky.
you felt bad but you took him against you in a tender hug, and placed your hand on his back to start caressing him gently, until he was soothed. "but you have me. and i will not leave. you know rafe, when i love someone, it's serious. i sincerely would like to make sure that you never feel alone again."
you looked into his eyes. you couldn't be more sincere.
and maybe it was from that day that rafe cameron fell in love with you, and he had never felt so good because he never thought that love could be so heartwarming and kind.
if you thought he would be the type to hide his feelings, or run away from them, you were wrong. it was the first time he felt this comfort, this happiness and he needed to show it to you. even for his family he did not have such great affection.
he loved giving you gifts. he had seen and heard that the girls really liked those kind of things so every day since Mother's Day, you received flowers, boxes of chocolates, photos of yourself accompanied by notes, volumes of your favorite book saga, CD's of your favorite singers. rafe couldn't let go of you.
since you didn't love him back, he fed on the affection and attention you gave him.
rafe took everything you had to give him - a look, a smile, a kiss on the cheek, a hug, an earphone for the two of you to share, a day in your room watching movies, a ride on the bike of your big brother, an afternoon playing in the sea.
there was nothing strange about him, nothing like the rumors could say.
“rafe, you didn’t have to give me that.” you exclaimed when you saw a necklace with his initials.
“but I wanted to. Don’t you like it?”
"I love..."
Rafe would have loved to hear that you were talking about him saying those words but he was also so impatient. every boy his age had a girlfriend, and he wanted you to be his. he was not an exception to the eager youth.
what was the point of being rich, of being able to have everything if you weren't included among his treasures? he wanted you, his only friend and the only girl who mattered to him.
But also, he was lost because he was experiencing one-sided love, because above all, it hurt so much not to be loved in return, to be in love with someone to love them to a point where it mattered more than himself.
the first time you kissed rafe cameron on the lips was in high school. you were drunk, you hadn't done it on purpose.
you threw up right after, but he never blamed you. he knew it was the alcohol, not him. he even held your hair while you vomited everything into the bowl. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I..."
"I'm not mad. you're just drinking too much. I should have been more careful. you know i can't be angry with you."
yes, rafe had anger issues, serious problems managing his hard feelings. sometimes he even scared you. sometimes you even felt like he would be able to kill someone.
rafe’s hands could be deadly but whenever they were on you, pressed to your cheeks, against your hips, on your thighs, inside your hair, on your neck, they were always calm and gentle.
after that, you would never have guessed that the first time rafe cameron had touched himself, it was thinking about your lips on his mouth, something so small and pathetic but it was enough to make him so vulnerable and unable to think about anything else.
he imagined your pretty lips around his cock instead of his useless large hand, your wet open mouth pumping him as your tongue covered every inch of his growing girth. and he hated himself for having impure thoughts about you, because you looked like an angel. he had no desire to make you dirty but oh fuck — he had cum on his stomach, spurting the warm loads painting his flesh. and god he wished you were there to make him pure again.
after that, rafe had tried many times to get you out of his head. he thought of porn. but he imagined your body, your voice, your moans in place of all these actresses, and that was the only way he could come.
dating girls but it never worked. you were always the one he wanted out of all the ones that existed.
distance from you but he always came back, because without you it had always been like being in the dark. and how could he lives in darkness without the one who gave him light?
but above all, you were the one who understood him best, who always managed to soothe him, and above all who never judged him in his moments of weakness.
you were his home, where he took refuge when he had a problem with his father, when he could no longer stand Sarah's presence, when Rose was getting on his nerves, when Topper and Kelce were behaving like idiots. because you were the only person who couldn't make his existence even more shitty.
— now it's been over ten years since rafe cameron was in love with you, but only seven since you disappeared from his life.
you had another life now, a boyfriend who cheated on you and who was always angry with you, and pushing you under and under. you were stuck with the wrong guy.
you had always dreamed of being an artist, you had specialized in painting in college hoping to pursue your dream.
rafe had always accompanied you in that dream, volunteering as a model for all your portraits but you always ended up throwing all the drawings away because you were too perfectionist. for you, it was never good enough. but for your best friend, it was a masterpiece, the work of a true painter.
you drew in your spare time, but each time, you ended up drawing rafe's face. you had no idea why he was your only inspiration even though you had a boyfriend, why it was always him who motivated you to continue painting.
it was strange how rafe had made a huge impact in your life, the only boy you actually had.
— a year later, on a huge impulse, you offered your art to a museum that regularly held exhibitions. you had made arrangements with the director and tried to find rafe's contact two nights after.
you searched for his social media, last names in the directory, asked his friends but nothing had helped you. you had spent a week trying to find it but it felt like you had lost him forever, that it was like a flower that you should have cherished instead of letting it perish.
you had been a monster. you abandoned him...like his mother. like everyone else.
every time you thought about him, you always ended up crying. if it wasn't love because you were sure you didn't love him, why did it hurt so much? why did it kill you so much?
rafe had never been capable of hurting you, and yet you had stabbed him without even looking at him. you had let him give you his heart, and you had stepped on it. and maybe that was why he couldn't fall in love anymore because you had ruined all his chances of being with someone else.
rafe had confessed his feelings to you while you were in his room, talking about everything and nothing, the future and the past like children. he had grown up. he was no longer the little whiny child you had known but a big boy, the one who now had big arms to protect you, hands to dry your tears, body to warm you.
“i feel like you want to tell me something, big boy. so say it, don't make me wait or beg for it.” you teased him by stopping the movie you were watching under the blankets.
"If you weren't so blind and stupid, I wouldn't have to be so embarrassed. i really have to do all the work all the time. "
“Come on, confess it. Do you want me to close my eyes?”
“ close that eyes, and shut that mouth too. ” he nodded, and the minute you closed your eyes, his mouth found yours to kiss you.
“what does that mean?”
“are you being stupid on purpose?” he replied. "It wasn't a mistake for me in the club...I mean, I really liked it like now. Don't make me say it, y/n. "
you were embarrassed. you didn't like rafe. finally you loved him like a best friend. he had always been the friend you dreamed of, not the one you wanted to end up with.
In contrast, rafe always believed that a girl could never break his heart. but you had shown him today that he was wrong, because you had managed to hurt his feelings, to make them so depressing.
you had this control on him that he had exactly over everyone else.
"Am I still the crybaby I was to you? I've changed. "
"that has nothing to do with it. rafe, you can't love someone and think that they will love you back. love doesn't work like that, and sometimes it doesn't even work. "
“you love someone else, right?” his tone was now louder, becoming more aggressive.
"I...n-n..."
"you love someone? who is it? tell me who it is? or don't tell me, I'll find out eventually. do you think that guy deserves you more than me ? "
“rafe, you’re scaring me. don’t yell at me.”
"why? you have the right to reject me but I don't have the right to raise my voice with you... let me laugh...since you like joking with me now.” there was a sick smile on his face that you hated, and made you shake.
"Rafe, I'm not rejecting you..."
“oh, y/n, please don’t lie to me. you’ve never been a hypocrite, so don’t be one now. don't be mean sweetheart because i would die rather than hurting you. just admit that you have someone, that you like playing with my feelings. do you think you're superior to me ? well, don't forget that i'm the only guy that give you attention so you're not that special. i made you special.”
"you win, rafe cameron. congratulations. i'm leaving."
you stood up towards the door but he rushed toward you and blocked your way.
“rafe. move.”
"asking like that? oh no, sweetheart. I've seen you be nicer than that, so you're going to give me the pleasure of asking me with better words."
“don’t make me push you. ”
he laughed so hard that your ego had been hurt. "because you think i'm still the weak, whiny cameron from the past that you used to manipulate ? tskk tskk, wrong. it's over. i hold the power in the relationship now. "
“rafe, I don’t want us to argue.”
“ oh yea ? so why do you want to leave? give me just one good reason at least !”
“you have to let me go.”
"and if I refuse? ah yes, I forgot, my family probably loves you more than me so they will surely come and help you if you cry or scream. so, please, show me how much my family hates and doesn't care about me. ”
you felt the sadness in his voice despite the loud tone, and the condescension.
"you can't leave. what kind of girl are you? the kind who likes to break hearts?”
it was your turn to be mad at rafe so you slapped him. louder than you expected because his face had turned against the door, and a red bruise had marked his skin. you regretted your action but you didn't apologize. because rafe had to learn to respect you.
" excuse me ? I was always there for you, when you were in pain, when you were angry with the whole world, when your father was so cruel to you that I had nightmares because I was afraid that will be the reason i will lost you one day, when you were crying, when you were fighting, I was there when there was absolutely no one for you, I was there when you were the little boy that no one wanted. You have absolutely no right to blame me for anything and consider this slap at the end of my sentence because I will not apologize. I have always been nice to you. so don't make me regret this. so yes, well done rafe, you managed to ruin everything. I'm sorry that you are in love with me and unfortunately I don't have this feelings for you, but now you lost me, and all the chances you had for us to end up together so you can sequester me here if you want, but know that even if I stayed in this room until the end of my days, I would still have no feelings for you, not a fucking single one. “
he was angry, his nostrils were flaring, and his fists were clenched against his thighs. you only had to see the swelling of his veins around his temples and around his neck to feel that it was literally boiling inside his body.
"you haven't changed. you've just grown. you'll cry when my back is turned.”
— back in the present, you wore a pretty dress to your art exhibition. you chose "blue eyes" as a subject with multiple paintings representing Rafe's gaze in different expressions. you had even managed to capture his look when he was in love with you.
so, you hoped that this evening he would come, that he had accepted your invitation, that your letter had arrived safely at its destination. you had received so many compliments but none had made you happy, none had managed to really make you smile, even those from your boyfriend who you had found in the hallway kissing someone else.
you didn't even cry because you knew it. it was just more horrible to see him in real life because he looked so happy.
“get out of here.” you reacted without even shouting.
“baby wait, I can explain everything….”
"explain what to me? your explanations are stuffed in this girl's mouth right now."
"I'm not going to leave." he replied.
“ oh yes you will leave. and if I see a single tear on her face, surely not alive. but yea, dare you to stay.” a cold voice growled and warned behind your back that you recognized it by heart.
you turned to admire rafe who stood in front of you, still just as handsome, and above all taller. you wanted to be a pure and shed tears just to see your ex-boyfriend suffer but you were too busy rejoicing in rafe's presence.
“Who are you?” your ex-boyfriend replied.
"oh if I told you, I think it would break your heart but you don't seem to have one so I'll be honest. I'm definitely the only boy she likes. i'm sorry if she made you think that she has something for you. but believe me, will be nothing contrary to what i will do to you if your ass is still here in those free seconds i let you run.. "
“raf…”
he shushed you with his mouth. "You'll have your moment, but wait. this is a conversation for boys, and unless you're hiding a dick between your legs, you're not in."
you smiled at his stupidity. the two boys had gone out, and Rafe had returned a few minutes later.
“Oh my god, you didn’t cry,” you teased him gently about his whiny past, clapping your hands.
“Was I crying that much?”
“Like a baby.”
"but I have changed...and..."
you felt like the words were really struggling to come out. his voice was blocked and he didn't look you in the eye. he scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. I was totally stupid."
“apology accepted.”
“does that mean I have the right to a kiss?”
When you were little, you always gave Rafe a kiss on the cheek when he apologized. the memory made you smile tenderly.
you stood on your tiptoes to reach his lips with your mouth, and he lifted you by your ass to help you.
“you were always mine, baby. even when you left, even when he was here.”
“ because it’s as much to love you as to hate you, rafe cameron.”
“Is that why you dedicated this entire exhibition to me? I’m flattered.”
“you didn’t leave my head even though you left my life.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you either. and I still think of you now. "
“ah yes? and what do your thoughts say about me?”
"that I finally have the girl I've always waited for. and that I still want her just as much."
"How about you show me how much...I mean...not with your lips, big boy. It's time to show me how much you've grown.”
you had gone to his hotel room after the party. he had accompanied you during the rest of the event, never taking his eyes off you as if he was afraid of losing you again. he even felt himself tighten his arm around your waist. he didn't keep his hands in his pocket, because you were there. and above all that you finally loved him.
it was beautiful. you had been the first person rafe cameron had loved, the first person he had broken his heart, and also, the first person who had loved him. you were destined to each others.
in his room, you were surprised to see how gentle he was with you, that he had softly placed your body on his sheets like a princess. he took off his t-shirt and you salivated just seeing his muscular chest, his arms turned into huge biceps, his flat stomach turned into voluminous abs with a magnificent v-line. “ It seems like you worked hard to please me. ”
“ oh babe, don't waste your drool on yourself when you can literally splash it on my dick. but maybe my girl wanted it dry”
“ you're really big now. ”
“ wait, something bigger is coming at you. ”
you were in love with the way your boy had become a man. you were proud of him, you undid his belt, and pulled him by the leather of the accessory before sliding it down and wrapping it around his neck to push him towards you and kiss him again. rafe was so desperate for you, he was hard in his pants to the point where it was painful, and even his tongue against yours was lost in a messy burst of both of you saliva.
he had spread your legs, and removed his pants, before pulling you against him by the thighs to bring you back against his hips.
“spit.” he held out his hand to let you spit on his palm and coated his hard cock with your drool, using your saliva as some kind of lube.
he started touching himself quickly, slowing up and down, a tight grip around his veiny and rocking length. you placed your fingers against his to accompany him in his movements, while devouring him with your eyes.
“fuck, you’re too good for me.”
“so make me as bad as you.” you responded by separating the two lips of your cunt with your fingers to show him the way. “fuck me. now.”
“did you have sex with him?”
“no…” you admitted shyly. “I’m still a virgin. Does that bother you?”
“I’ve already had sex, does that bother you?”
"no, because I'm sure you've never been able to cum without thinking about me. You're so obsessed with me.”
he pushed his leaking and wet tip against your soaked folds, rubbing himself lightly on them. “can I ?”
“oh rafe, it's only if you don’t do it that we’re going to have a problem.” you laughed gently.
and it didn't take more for him to split your pussy with his throbbing dick to startly making his way inside you. he had done it gently, partly because he didn't want to hurt you, but because you were incredibly tight. he held your hands, before placing his lips on yours, and driving you crazy with slow thrusts, his hips gently bucking against yours.
his cock stretched you softly, moving back and forth and sliding inside your canal that surrounded every inch of his dick. once he felt your body relax, he fasted up the pace, your moans automatically becoming louder. you had never been fucked until now, but you understood now, why people liked it.
rafe was completely buried in you from his tip, to the pelvis which was slamming against your thighs and the mattress. he couldn’t be more in love with you. you were perfect.
he loved hearing your screams from across the room, knowing that he was the only one to make you moans like that. you were completely wet, and your dripping pussy helped him pound you quicker, and especially harder. he couldn't get enough of your face completely ruined by tears and pleasure, but especially of your walls squishing him until he felt his own stomach twitching by your trembling body sticking to his, the way your part convulsing around him as the strokes went deeper and deeper.
the bottom lip of your mouth was covered in your own saliva, your back arched against the sheets, and your entire body stimulated, spasms covering it, and forcing you to squirm in every direction.
his blue eyes were lost in your gaze. you didn’t know how but he always managed to go further, hitting every sensitive gummy and soaked spot only to ram it again.
you let out a muffled and depraved sound when his cock slammed into your insides all the way to your stomach. you threw your head back, completely losing control.
“I'm never going to stop and you never going to leave if you keep giving me those eyes. don't feel dizzy now, it's just the beginning. ” he blurted out as he continued to pound you, making your pussy dripping even more all over him, leaving him no choice but to speed up his movements to avoid any waste of your fluids. “ i really want to fuck you all the night. don't make that face, you made me wait for more than fucking ten years, it's just now so fair. ”
you had already had an orgasm, but his energy had doubled. you didn't know what time you stopped, but when you woke up, you were completely exhausted like your body had been used all night.
you wondered how different your relationship was going to be now, and if rafe was going to take responsibility for everything he did last night. you had too many questions, and not enough answers. you took a shower while waiting for him to wake up.
when you finally had the chance to have the famous conversation, you asked him. “do you regret it?”
"that you didn't let me do this way before? yes. for doing it last night? no. another question, babe?"
"yes. well, it's not a question. I don't really know how long I've loved you. I mean, you know the day you fell in love with me. whereas I realized that when I didn't stop painting your face I thought it was your absence but it was stronger than that. when we were young, we were dumb and clumsy. but thank you to let me come back because we finally found the right moment."
“you know very well that you never had to ask for anything to get everything you want from me. all is yours. ”
— tysm for reading 🫶🏿‼️
#friends to lovers trope my guilty pleasure#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron concepts#rafe cameron angst#rafe x reader#obx angst#obx smut#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fluff#obx fluffl#play eighteen by one direction#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron one shot#rafe concepts#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#friends to lovers#obx fanfic#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#best friend!rafe#boyfriend!rafe
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it feels like this season, doctor who is dealing with the fundamental rules changing. it was strictly sci-fi, you could always logic your way out of any problem with technobabble and a clever plan.
but it feels like so much of the plot is wrapped around poking at the medium of being a television show, of being a story. we have multiple characters looking at the viewers, we have the maestro playing the theme tune, we have such clear parallels to season 1 (2005) that it feels like a universal coincidence. like the whoniverse itself is recognizing its a medium and playing with its tropes.
the genre is changing too - we are leaning more and more into fantasy, rules like you would see in stories about fae, not sci-fi. musical numbers out of nowhere that no one seems to question, with rain inside and musical sidewalks. the vocabulary of rope and power in coincidences. hell, even the way that time travel works is changing! suddenly stepping on a butterfly (specifically a trope in scifi that has been mocked/debunked previously) has consequences. the doctor swiping away the translation circuit's effects with the wave of a hand and breathing life back into a creature without breaking a sweat.
not to mention the way that space babies foreshadows to a universe that creates a story with all the ingredients it knows are supposed to be there (re: bogeyman - there's supposed to be a villain so it made one)
something IS going on. there is a bigger player - bigger than tecteun, bigger than the toymaker. could it be rtd just having a grand ole time using canon as is playground? maybe. but i hope it's something cool.
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#space babies#the devil's chord#rtd
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ᅠ ✿ ᅠ REWIND TO YOU ──── ᅠ ( myung jaehyun )
𝓹recis ⠀ : ⠀your reunion with one of the most important people in your life, myung jaehyun, was not like what you hoped for at all. instead of a heartwarming session of two best friends meeting each other after a decade of lost contact, you’re facing a person who seemed to forget a meaningful childhood spent together, like it meant nothing at all.
ᅠ 명재현 ⠀⠀◜◡◝ ⠀⠀𝒇 shy!reader ⠀wc 14.6k ⠀ genre fluff angst childhood friends to lovers high school au ⠀ contains mentions of food skinship random ocs some bnd members and shinyu ⠀ tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net , @onedoornet
ᅠ ᅠ BEST ENJOYED WITH .. l i f e i s c o o l by boynextdoor, amnesia by boynextdoor, in bloom by zerobaseone, teenage dream by stephen dawes, unfinished business by neriah, if i say i love you by boynextdoor, old with you by grentperez, but you by ikon & serenade by boynextdoor
ᅠ note ᅠ from ᅠ 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈 ! ᅠ i hope all of you enjoy this spin i made out of the usual childhood friends to lovers trope! and soph.. i dedicate this to you (Pls Spare me), and if you ask, yes i will dedicate every single leehan and myungjae fic to my wifey!
ᅠ >︿ please leave feedbacks & reblog

“I HATE YOU, MYUNG JAEHYUN!”
Your screams echoed through the playground, accompanied by Jaehyun’s loud giggles. You took a deep breath as you chased him around, your hair flying behind you. Jaehyun had ‘cheated’ when the two of you were playing hide and seek a few minutes ago—he went on asking around the other kids if they had seen you. And one of the stupider kids did tell him that he saw you inside the slide.
Jaehyun was quickly out of breath as he was laughing his heart out while running, and you caught up to him pretty quickly. You launched yourself at him, tackling him to the ground. You hit his chest several times, pouting.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Jaehyun said, blocking your hits. His laughter died down, but that insufferable grin was still glued to his face. He was obviously loving all the attention he’s getting from his best friend—even though she’s sitting on top of him, sulkily pinning him to the ground.
“It’s unfair,” you huffed. You eventually stopped hitting him, but you were still a little upset. How could Jaehyun win, especially by cheating?
“I’m sorry, Sunshine,” he said, his dreadful smirk morphing into a small yet soft smile. “You’re just too good at hide-and-seek.”
“That doesn’t mean you can cheat,” you replied, a pout still evident in your expressions.
Jaehyun pursed his lips, and for a while, he stayed silent—the gears in his brain working to think of a solution for you. “What about this—let’s go to the convenience store and buy some Pepero or whatever you want. It’s on me!”
You couldn’t stop a smile from erupting on your face. The key to your heart was the simplest thing in the entire world: food, and Jaehyun knew this—and he often used this fact to its fullest potential. It didn’t really help that he’s your best friend, too, so he clearly knew what your favourites were. You weren’t exactly complaining, though. Jaehyun liked to tease you, and as compensation for making you a little pouty, he’d buy or offer you some food.
A win-win situation for seven-year-olds.
“Okay!” you agreed cheerfully.
And that’s how you found yourself, happily munching on Pepero and chocolate churro chips on the way back to the playground from the store. Jaehyun walked next to you, holding a bunch of candy in his hands.
You were munching on your snacks, and were just about to thank him for the Pepero when Jaehyun leaned in, stealing a big bite of the Pepero from your hand.
You shrieked in shock, pouting after realising what had happened.
“Jaehyun!” you whined, hitting his arm.
Jaehyun giggled. “You snooze, you lose,” he teased with a stupid grin.
You crossed your arms, huffing. “Some best friend you are.”
Jaehyun’s grin immediately faltered. He quickly broke the chocolate chip cookie he was nibbling on in half, handing you the bigger piece. “Here. Best friends share, right?”
You eyed him rather suspiciously before taking it. “Fine. But you owe me for life.”
“How does that work?” Jaehyun asked, tilting his head slightly.
“We’d have to be best friends forever,” you replied. The look on your face was enough to tell how serious you meant your words, even for a first grader. “That way, you can always buy me food every day.”
“What if… I won’t be here tomorrow?” Jaehyun asked. You immediately turned to him, confused. That wasn’t what you expected from him as an answer.
You took a minute of munching through your chips for you to analyse Jaehyun’s doubtful expression. “What are you talking about? Don’t be silly,” you shoved his shoulder. “You’re always here.”
Jaehyun smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Then, promise me—let’s be best friends, no matter what happens.”
You paused, staring right into his eyes.
Jaehyun looked at you, his face mixed with some kind of fondness and amusement. “Promise me, Sunshine?” he asked, holding out his pinky in a solemn promise. “Best friends forever.”
You returned his gaze, a smile forming on your face as you linked your pinky with his, sealing the promise without a second of hesitation. “Always.”
The words echoed in the air, and from the way the winds caressed your skin, it’s like the universe had taken note of your promise to each other.
However, you were completely unaware that this would be the last day you’d spend with him.
The next afternoon, after completing tasks that your mother had told you to do, you rushed to Jaehyun’s house—a few mere blocks away—with a bag of homemade cookies in hand. A big smile was painted across your face, you were excited to surprise Jaehyun with the sweet treats that you had baked with your mother last night.
But something was wrong.
The front yard, usually scattered with Jaehyun’s soccer balls and bicycles, was oddly empty. The windows were shut tight, and the driveway—where his father’s car was always parked—was vacant.
You felt your heart thump hard against your chest. Your grip on the paper bag tightened, and you approached the front door.
You knocked.
Nothing.
“Jaehyun?”
You knocked again, harder this time.
“Myungjae? It’s me, Y/N–”
“Sweetheart? Who are you looking for?”
You turned towards the voice straight away. It was the old lady who lived next door, the one who always made sure to give you and Jaehyun a popsicle whenever you two passed by her house. She had a gentle yet unreadable smile on her face. You ran up to her, head spinning with a dozen questions.
“Where’s Jaehyun?” you asked her.
“My dear…” she began, her voice soft. “Jaehyun left early this morning.”
You blinked. The words were heavy, but you couldn’t understand what they meant. “Left? Where?”
“They moved away.”
Nothing made sense. Jaehyun moved? No one had said anything about moving.
You looked back towards Jaehyun’s house, hoping that the door would swing open and that he would come running towards you, grinning like he always did.
But he didn’t come.
The house was quiet, empty.
Your throat tightened. “But he promised to play. He said he would… stay.”
The lady kneeled in front of you, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “I’m so sorry, my dear.”
You bit your lips, and you didn’t realise you were crying until you tasted salt on your lips.
Later that evening, you had found yourself wandering back to the playground, the noisy chatter of kids playing around fading into the background. The paper bag still in hand, you walked around aimlessly. You could still hear Jaehyun’s laughter ringing in your ears, the sound of your footsteps blending with his as you two ran around.
Jaehyun was gone.
And he didn’t even say goodbye.
You sat down at a bench overlooking the playground where the two of you always played, staring at the place where you both had linked pinkies and made a promise. A promise you had believed in with all your heart.
A promise that, it seemed, only you remembered.
“I’LL see you after school, sweetie,” your father says into your hair. You set your lips into a line, nodding timidly.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” your mother asks, appearing from behind your father. “We can always accompany you to school–”
“Darling,” your father reminds your mother by putting a gentle hand on her arm. “Our Y/N will be fine. She’s almost eighteen now, I’m sure she can handle it all.”
You give your parents a reassuring smile before walking away, each step bringing you uncomfortably away from home.
The morning felt weird, anyway. You’re here, in a new school, in a state you’ve never set foot to before. The air here feels like a heavy fog, clinging to your chest as you stand in front of the towering school building. You could feel the weight of an agonising unknown pressing down on you. It’s a sensation that you could never get used to, despite the sun peeking through the clouds, and the bustling cacophony of students around you. You stand at the gates, fingers tightly grasping the straps of your backpack. You take a deep breath, remembering your mother’s advice to help overcome your nerves.
You walk into your new school, the new feeling of being somewhere so unfamiliar enveloping you. It feels different from the school you left behind—the campus is bigger here, the hallways seemed endless and much wider, and each turn made you feel like you’re lost in a looping maze. They even have a separate building for the library.
You find your footsteps slowing down as you reach the middle of the common area, unsure of where you should go. Your eyes dart here and there, desperately trying to find some kind of clue that could help you.
You had always been the quiet one, preferring to keep to yourself, listening more than you talked, the one that often found herself slipping to the background of a party and corner of classrooms. Currently surrounded by boisterous students, each seeming to know what they’re doing, you feel slightly overwhelmed. The school map you opened on your phone suddenly feels too complicated for you to understand.
Suddenly, something solid crashes against the back of your head, causing you to stumble forward, the impact hard enough to make the books you’re holding fall to the ground.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!”
You turn to reply, but find your words stuck in your throat.
A tall guy in a basketball jersey stands before you, his hair tousled in an athletic tangle. He picks up the ball—the solid object that hit the back of your head a moment ago—and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. He gives you a sheepish smile, trying his best to convey how sorry he is—but you’re too focused on his sharp features and messy brown hair. It’s all too familiar.
Myung Jaehyun.
Before you could say anything, he leans down and picks up your books. He hands them to you, a charming smile replacing whatever backward expression he had earlier. “Careful there, newbie,” he says, teasing. “Wouldn’t want to be trampled on your first day here, no?”
You take your books from him, dazed.
He doesn’t recognise you.
You watch as he jogs back to his friends, spinning the orange ball in his hands. You stand there, exactly where he left you, unsure of what to do next.
YOU’RE sitting alone at lunch, perfectly at peace with your packed lunchbox. You sit quietly, not wanting to stand out. This is your first day at a completely new school, and the last thing you want is to make yourself the centre of attention.
Unfortunately, fate had written that this was your first mistake.
You’re about to enjoy your lunch in the comfort of solitude, a figure that you didn’t expect to see, again, slips into the seat in front of you.
“Hey, newbie,” you hear Jaehyun say as he takes a seat. “Eating alone?”
You simply nod, not knowing what to say.
“So, um,” Jaehyun finds himself stuttering after not receiving a reply from you. “You’re the new student, right? That explains the self-introduction in class just now.”
You nod again. Seeing the pitiful look on his face, masked poorly by a confident demeanor, you decide to reply. “Yes. I just moved here.”
Jaehyun’s face lights up like a lightbulb.
“I’m Jaehyun, if you didn’t know that,” he grins. “I’m in your homeroom! My seat is behind you.”
You noticed that, of course. Who wouldn’t recognise someone whose laugh echoed throughout the room, brightening the atmosphere like the rays of a bright spring morning?
You give him a small smile.
“Your seatmate, Sanghyeok, is my friend! He told me you seemed… er, lonely,” he hesitates for a while, “so I came up with a genius plan,” Jaehyun reveals with a grin that you’re a bit too familiar with.
He’d always flash that big smile towards you whenever he wanted to propose a plan, but didn’t really want to take credit for it, in case it was a little too ridiculous.
“What is it?” you reply.
“We should be friends,” Jaehyun responds, and your eyes widen almost immediately.
What does he mean by that?
Your heart begins to race, not just because you’re shocked to see Jaehyun, who was once the most important person in your life, after so many years—but from the fact that he naturally is taking charge, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like it came to him with no hesitation.
“It’s all good! I talked to my friends—Sanghyeok, Sungho, Yoona and Minji—about this, and they all seem pretty cool about it.”
“Oh,” is all you’re able to manage. Everything is moving a little too briskly, and you’re feeling a bit dizzy from how fast things are escalating.
You feel your brain short-circuiting.
Just like that?
No hesitation? No ‘wait, Y/N? Is that you?’? No recognition?
You swallow hard.
“Thank you?” you say, wary. You take a small bite of your sandwich. “I appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Jaehyun beams, and as if on cue, he waves towards a group of people behind you. You turn around, eyes slightly bulging at the way Jaehyun’s friends are quickly approaching your table. You recognise Sanghyeok, naturally, and the girl with a bubbly smile that you assume would be Yoona, but the rest of his friends are new faces for you.
Jaehyun barely left any room for you to process anything.
As quickly as they came, the air begins to smell like snacks and sports equipment—a strangely uplifting scent.
“Guys, meet Y/N!” Jaehyun announces as soon as his friends arrive, putting away their things. “She’s the new kid I told you guys about.”
You look at him for a few seconds.
Jaehyun is beaming with a smile, and the way he introduced you with such confidence, like you’ve been best friends since forever, makes your heart thump in a weird way.
“Wow, that was fast,” the tall, broad shouldered boy comments, whistling playfully. “Already claiming her as one of us?”
Jaehyun puffs his chest out. “Of course, I have a talent for spotting good people–”
“Hi, nice to meet you, Y/N,” Yoona quickly says, rolling her eyes at Jaehyun. She takes the empty seat next to you. “We’re in the same homeroom. My name is Im Yoona.”
You give her a polite smile.
A girl with sharp eyes and an amused smile displayed on her face slips into the seat next to Yoona. “So, did he actually ask if you’d like us to sit with you, or did he have you sit here unwillingly?”
You hesitate. “Unwillingly…?”
“Shut up, Minji,” Jaehyun grumbles as the entire group bursts into laughter.
“That’s Jaehyun for you,” Sanghyeok, your desk mate, says to you. He then gives you a warm smile, just like earlier. “Do you like how KOZ Academy is so far?”
You take a little bite out of your sandwich. “It’s fine. I like how big the campus is.”
“That’s what I always brag about this school,” Minji, who’s been quiet for a while, adds in. The smile on her face is relaxed. “I’ve been here since freshman year, and I still can’t fathom the way we have a swimming pool and tennis courts.”
You nod enthusiastically, recalling how you did see the facilities she mentioned in the school map.
“Speaking of that, should we give the newbie a tour of the school?” Jaehyun suggests, his face lightening up with excitement. He barely swallows his food as he’s giving you a bright, friendly grin.
“You speak of her like she’s not in front of you,” the tall boy sighs. He turns to you, smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry. Y/N, isn’t it? I’m Sungho.”
You nod. “Yeah. Nice to meet you.”
“Do you want us to give you a tour of the school?” Yoona asks. She gestures to Jaehyun. “Don’t worry, this dumbass won’t be in charge of it.”
“Hey!” Jaehyun exclaims.
“You’ll just show her the boring parts of school,” Minji chimes in.
Jaehyun makes a bewildered expression. “I will not–!”
“Remember the time when Sanghyeok first came to this school? You showed him all the unnecessary classrooms that you didn’t have time to show him where the lunch card machine is,” Sungho adds, laughing.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes. He passes you a snack. “You’re all so dramatic. Anyway,” he says, shifting his gaze to you. “Don’t mind them, Y/N. You’re welcome here—just sit back and relax.”
You nod, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that it’s the only reaction you’re able to give them so far. You’re not so sure that you’re able to relax when all these new faces have their eyes on you, but surprisingly, their energy isn’t too bad. It’s welcoming, bustling with a friendly spirit. It’s uncomfortable, sure, but it’s not unkind.
Jaehyun passes you another snack he grabbed from Sanghyeok’s stash, and something in your chest begins to warm.
Maybe it’s not too bad at all.
THE next day feels like a dream.
You arrive at school pretty early, and much to your surprise, you’re greeted warmly by Yoona, who also happens to arrive at the same time as you. She hops off the bus and jogs towards you, catching up to you as soon as you park your bicycle.
“Good morning, Y/N,” she smiles at you.
You mirror her expression. “Good morning.”
“It’s still early… Do you want to go to the common area?” Yoona suggests. “I’m sure the rest will already be there.”
You simply nod. “Cool. Let’s go.”
Yoona links her arm with yours, and together, you walk towards the common area. It’s bustling and loud despite it being only half past seven. Most of the energy radiates from Jaehyun and his group of friends: the boys are tossing a basketball up and down—even though they’re clearly indoors, and they shouldn’t be playing with a ball inside. Minji sits on the sofa nearby, leaning back as she lazily reads through a novel, completely unbothered with the ruckus around her.
As soon as you arrive, Yoona puts her bag down, sitting down next to Minji and they both begin chatting about whatever topic that comes to mind. You, however, aren’t used to this kind of energy—fast-paced, full of jokes and friendly banter. You sit at the edge of the sofa, unsure of how you’d insert yourself into the conversation.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, is thriving. As always.
“Bet I can make the shot from here,” he brags, crumpling a snack wrapper in his hands. He gestures to the trash can, located at the far corner of the room.
“No way,” Sungho scoffs. “That’s, like, ten feet away.”
“You’re all talk, MJ,” Sanghyeok chimes in, laughing.
Jaehyun smirks, turning to you. “Yo, new kid. Believe in me?”
You meet his eyes, blinking profusely. “Uh…”
The group laughs, and Jaehyun gives you an exaggerated gasp. He puts a hand over his chest in a dramatic manner. “Wow. The hesitation? I’m hurt.”
“Well–” you say, pausing. You’re unsure if you should say what your thoughts really are, or if you should play it safe. You bit your lip, suddenly feeling self-conscious of the way you’re sitting.
“You’ll miss, definitely,” you quietly mumble.
For a second—one that felt way too long—Jaehyun stares.
Then, he throws his head back, laughing his lungs out. “Yo, she’s got a bite! I like her.”
You gape at him, not knowing what to respond to the grin he flashed at you amidst his loud laughter. Your face begins to burn, but the others are nodding in approval.
“Good job,” Minji pats your shoulder. “You’re keeping him humble.”
Sanghyeok hands you a juice box, grinning like his gesture is a kind of initiation. “You’re officially one of us.”
You hesitate, but eventually accept it.
“Told you you’d fit right in,” Jaehyun says, nudging your side as he grins.
And just like that, you find yourself smiling back.
YOU’RE not sure if it’s just you, or it’s that Jaehyun does not remember you at all. It has been quite a long time, you admit that, but you don’t think that it’s reasonable for someone to completely forget someone so important, no matter how long you’ve been without them.
So, for the following weeks, you decided to test the waters, to see if Jaehyun truly did forget you, that if you’re just a passing memory in his childhood.
“Jaehyun!” you exclaim, running up to the soccer court. The boy perks up, his eyes lightening up as he watches you jog up to him. He was scrolling animatedly on his phone, but when he heard his name being called by you, whatever that he was interested in was tossed aside.
“Are you done with soccer?” you ask, panting slightly.
Jaehyun nods.
“What’s up, newbie?” he then grins, wiping off his sweat using the towel hanging around his neck.
You cringe slightly at the nickname. “I have a name, you know.”
Jaehyun laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, Y/N. What’s wrong though?”
“Nothing,” you reply. You then rummage through your backpack, bringing out a bunch of strawberry fruit roll-ups. You give Jaehyun a small smile before handing them to him. “Here, I thought you’d want them after practice.”
Jaehyun beams, delightfully grabbing the candies. He opens one of them, and when he’s about to put it in his mouth, he pauses mid-action. His eyes turn straight to you, looking fixedly into your gaze. “Wait.”
You bite the bottom of your lips, trying to contain yourself.
“What?”
“How’d you know I like these?”
Your eyes bulge slightly, and you quickly purse your lips together to mask a smile. You knew Jaehyun liked these—ever since you started being friends with him, he had made it clear that he liked everything and anything that tastes like strawberries. You remember spending a lot of time in your childhood, trying the various breeds of strawberry, as well as strawberry candies and snacks that Jaehyun had shared with you; and over time, you just naturally knew specifically what he liked.
And turns out, the five foot seven inches high school senior that’s standing in front of you with a baffled expression on his face still does like strawberry flavoured things.
He is the Myung Jaehyun that your heart holds dear, even after so many years.
You shrug. “Just a feeling.”
Jaehyun places the fruit roll-up in his mouth, his gaze still trained on you. In his eyes, you can see that he’s questioning your words. But as the candy melts in his mouth, the doubt begins to dissipate, and his charming smile reappears.
“Thank you,” Jaehyun’s grin twinkles. He grabs another candy and pops it into his mouth.
“These things are crazy—I can’t get enough of how good they taste!” he begins to chatter as he packs his things, his movement as swift as the speed of the words coming out of his mouth. When he’s done, he stands up straight and looks towards you, the expression in his eyes cheerful and full of energy.
“Let’s go?” Jaehyun prompts.
You adjust your backpack’s straps on your shoulders. “Go… where?”
“Home?” Jaehyun replies, perching up his eyebrow. He looks at you like you’ve asked the dumbest question he’s ever heard. “You live in my neighbourhood, don’t you? I always see you cycling home from the grocery store on Saturdays.”
You hesitate.
The fact that you do live in the same neighbourhood as Jaehyun does is bothering you in ways you’d never thought it would. It reminds you of the painful separation you faced in your early years of life, and to be hit with such a strong déjà vu years later, you’re not sure if you can handle it.
Seeing you waver, Jaehyun wears his bag on one shoulder, putting his other arm around you. Your shoulder tense, feeling weird at how he’s so completely at ease with you, like he’s grown up with you for years.
“It’s okay, Y/N,” he says, his voice oddly absent from the cocky confidence he usually wears. Instead, his voice is comfortingly firm. “C’mon, let’s walk home together.”
As he walks with you to the school gate, the warmth of him being close to you makes your heart ache in ways that are alarmingly familiar.
IT’S been a few weeks of you trying to execute your attempts at making Jaehyun remember you. But, of course, your efforts decided to fail you. It’s annoying—the way he’s obviously out there treating you like you’re the greatest friend he’s ever had, yet whenever you bring up an old joke or an old nickname that you used to call him, he puts on this confused face that makes you want to slap him and yourself.
One day, during an afternoon study session, you and your friends had pushed your desks together to mug up upon your studies. You were seated between Yoona and Sanghyeok, and directly in front of you was Jaehyun.
Tired of solving math problems, you began watching Jaehyun solve a math problem, leaning over his desk. His brows were furrowed deeply, showing how tricky the math problem was. And you notice one thing.
He was subconsciously sticking out the tip of his tongue slightly. It clicked inside your head, and a roll of memories came playing into your sight. His habit is still the same—exactly like he used to when the two of you were playing jigsaw puzzles.
You snorted to yourself. “You still do that?” you whispered to yourself.
However, your whisper was loud enough for your friends to catch. “Do what?” Yoona asked, perking up from her physics homework.
Her question pulled the entirety of Jaehyun’s attention, and his eyes were locking with yours at once. He had a questioning look on his face, and he didn’t say anything, waiting for you to answer.
Your eyes widened, and you immediately shook your head. “Nothing,” you stammered, looking away as you bit the inner corner of your cheek.
A few days after that, you were sitting on the bleachers of your school’s soccer field, your homework sprawled over your lap. Jaehyun had made you and the girls come over to watch him, Sungho, and Sanghyeok play soccer at the field. You and Minji didn’t want to at first, but Yoona saw it with a positive note—you were sick of studying at the library every afternoon, so studying at the field could be a nice change.
It was a windy November afternoon, and autumn was giving way to winter, so every single gush of wind felt like a harsh bite to the skin. You squinted, trying to do your homework as you fought with the wind and the coldness it brought along. You’re not too interested in sports, and it didn’t help that you got there when the match was already halfway through, so you didn’t understand a thing that was going on.
One thing for sure is that it was quite an intense match.
“I’m not sure if this was a good idea,” Minji muttered. She shoved her hair into her coat, zipping it up. “My hair is flying everywhere and I can’t even see Sanghyeok. How am I supposed to do anything?”
“Sanghyeok, huh?” Yoona laughed. “You can see them a bit—see, look!” she exclaimed, pointing at the slightly smaller figure of the boys, fiercely in their game. “Sungho and Jaehyun’s about to score!”
Hearing that, you immediately looked up from your homework, your attention officially snatched away from the assignment. You watched intently as the game progressed: Sungho, with the ball in his control, dodged a tackle, swiftly running through the field before powerfully passing the ball towards Jaehyun, who effortlessly scores their winning goal.
It’s a friendly match between your school’s soccer team and another school, but the celebration that roared through was something else.
Sanghyeok pulled Jaehyun and Sungho into a bear hug, ruffling both their heads. You heard Jaehyun’s victorious laughs and screams echoing around the air. You smiled.
Soccer has always been one of his passions, and seeing him flourish in it makes your heart bloom in ways you never imagine it would.
You were proud of him, and it’s a refreshing feeling that you never got to feel years ago, when seven-year-old Jaehyun was telling you all about his soccer dreams.
After freeing himself from Sanghyeok, Jaehyun ran up to the bleachers. Much to your surprise, he was headed straight to you. He came up to you with a pleasant grin, his face flushed with sweat.
“Hey, I did it,” he said, breathless. He brought his hand out for a high-five.
And before you could even think, you stood up and clasped his hand in the old secret handshake from your childhood with him. It came to you like second nature—you couldn’t even stop yourself.
Jaehyun stiffened, his hand still clasped around yours.
You were equally as shocked as he is.
Why did you even do that?
And what was that reaction?
However, Jaehyun was quick to react—he laughed it off, quickly redoing it into a normal high-five. He gave you another grin before turning away to chug water, leaving you confused and unconvinced.
Now, you’re not too sure that Myung Jaehyun actually forgot you.
This theory was drilled into your head even more after another incident or two.
It was a random Tuesday, where Jaehyun had dragged you and the girls to accompany him to do soccer drills at the field with his team.
“Remind me why we need to do this again,” Minji grumbled, slumping against the seat.
Yoona sighed, stifling back a grin. “Because MJ said so.”
“I don’t understand! Why can’t we just wait for them at the library? We need to study anyway,” Minji complained, stomping her feet in frustration a few times.
“They probably just need some moral support,” you chimed in, watching absentmindedly as Jaehyun is making his team run around the field.
“They’re seniors already, they should be done with all this,” Minji huffed.
Yoona shrugged. “You know how they are with soccer.”
“Absolute maniacs,” Minji commented, shaking her head.
You simply nodded and chuckled along to their conversation, eyes trained on Jaehyun coordinating his teammates in soccer training. The actions then became repetitive, and you quickly got bored. You stared off into space, zoning out. Then, without you realising, a soccer ball from a group of freshmen that were practicing near your seats came flying directly towards you.
Before you could react, Jaehyun instinctively stepped in front of you, shielding you from the ball with his body.
The ball bounced off him with a thud, and you gasped. You rushed towards him, Minji and Yoona following you from behind.
“Jaehyun, are you okay?” you asked frantically.
Jaehyun picked up the ball, turning slightly to give you a grin that tells you that he’s okay. “I’m okay!” he answered, flexing his bicep. “See?”
And the memory hitted you like a truck—all this reminded you of the time when the two of you were kids, when Jaehyun would always stand in front of you during dodgeball insisting “you’re too small to get hit!”
A quiet gasp escaped between your lips. “You always do this,” you muttered.
Jaehyun, who was about to walk back to his teammates after tossing the ball back to them, turned to you. “Do what?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. Your eyes narrowed—you could tell that he was feigning innocence.
“Never mind,” you said, giving him a tight smile. Jaehyun nodded, and you watched him jog back to his teammates, carrying out the practice like usual, a million thoughts racing through your mind.
He remembers.
The next week, on a Thursday, you had just gotten back home from your after school Chemistry class—Jaehyun and his mother had dropped you off. After cleaning yourself up and changing into your pyjamas, you sat down at your desk, wanting to get some homework done before you ate dinner.
Then, your phone pinged with a text notification from Jaehyun.
hey sunshine
Are u done with the english hw? i wanna see how u did it
Sunshine.
The nickname that Jaehyun used to love calling you when the two of you were kids, and used to live only a few houses away from each other back in your old neighbourhood. He used to call you that because, quoting him, your smile was as precious as the sunshine on a winter morning. You didn’t—and still don’t—genuinely smile often, but Jaehyun was one of the only people who could trigger it out of you with not too much effort.
The nickname meant a lot to you.
You stared at the message in a daze, and when you finally were about to reply, the text was gone.
y/n, i meant
sorry
You held your hand against your chest, heart pounding like crazy.
“What the hell was that?” you whispered to yourself.
So he does remember.
IT’S a Friday, and you’re sitting down at your desk, unable to focus your brain into another set of math problems. Instead, you sit there, pretending to read through your completed English essay while sneaking glances at Jaehyun. He’s laughing about something with Minji and Sungho, effortlessly conforming with his friends, flashing that same stupid grin that you’ve always remembered from your childhood.
Your fingers curl around the edges of your desk.
How could he look so familiar yet feels so distant like a stranger?
You desperately want to believe that he’s forgotten—too much time has passed. But deep down, you know that it doesn’t make sense. He’s too comfortable around you, too quick to include you too. He’s too at ease around you, especially for someone who’s apparently just met you for around two months.
And the worst part? Your heart is still skipping a beat every time you look at him. Your heart still reacts the same way it did when you were kids—probably even more defined now—cheeks turning pink at his gestures, heart warming at his voice.
This isn’t fair. Nothing is.
You watch as he ruffles Minji’s hair, annoying her by ruining her hair that she spent an entire morning trying to perfect. He laughs as she swats his hand away, hissing curses at his face.
He used to do that to you.
Your grip tightens.
Maybe you’re just overthinking it. Maybe he really did forget, after all.
But you can’t just get it out of your head—the way Jaehyun treats you, the small, fleeting glances and the way he easily includes you in every conversation he has and everything he does. It makes you doubt yourself.
And why do you even care so much?
You turn away, biting your lip. It’s stupid. Everything is just so dumb—you shouldn’t be jealous or feeling worked up about some boy that happened to still be the most important part of your life even after so many years. You shouldn’t even bother yourself with something that happened years ago. You know you shouldn’t hold on to memories that you’re not even sure he still held.
But you are.
And that fact alone is making you despise everything.
BY the end of the day, you’re lazily packing your bag after the last bell rang. You’re drained after an entire week of classes and endless assignments, and you don’t know if you can survive your after school Math class. Beside you, Sanghyeok is also packing his bag—but he’s doing so at a much faster pace than you are. He gives you an acknowledging smile, a piece of bread in his mouth, before walking out of the classroom.
“MJ, are we going to the extra football practice coach said we’d have earlier?” Sungho asks, stacking his books into an organised pile before sliding them into his bag.
Jaehyun looks up from his phone, humming. “Yeah, I’ll go. I’m the captain—can’t miss any sessions, can I?”
Sungho nods in agreement, but before he could say anything in return, Jaehyun’s focus is already shifted to you.
You’re packing your bag slowly, as if by doing that, you’re able to avoid going to your after school class. You zip your backpack close, feeling someone’s gaze boring into you. You look up, turning towards the source of the tingling sensation.
“Going home already?” Jaehyun asks, an idle grin displayed on his face.
You slip your arms into your puffed coat. “Yeah,” you nod, “I have extra class.”
“Let me walk you home,” Jaehyun says, zipping his bag shut smoothly. He swings it over his back.
“Jaehyun, we have practice,” Sungho reminds. He’s already at the door, gesturing with his chin.
Jaehyun swats his hand, without even looking at his friend. “It’s fine—you can go first.”
As Sungho leaves with a sigh, Jaehyun grins at you. “C’mon. Let’s stop for some tteok skewers while we’re at it too.”
You stare at him, eyes unblinking.
Is he being serious? Why is he always insisting on walking you home? Doesn’t he realise what his actions are doing to you?
Your frown begins to deepen as you recall Jaehyun’s treatment of you ever since you transferred to KOZ Academy: always next to you, effortlessly handing you snacks and drinks—specifically the ones you always preferred, always seeming to prioritise you over everything else that he has; walking you home, buying you food as often as possible, and all the other little things that made your heart somersault.
You don’t want any of this.
You don’t like how conscious you are of yourself whenever he’s around. You don’t like how he makes you feel like you’re the most important person in this world. You don’t like how he makes you all smiles—you despise the way he easily brings you out of your shell.
You clench your fists.
This is ridiculous. You are being ridiculous.
Jaehyun has been nothing but very kind and welcoming to you since you first came here. He has included you, so naturally nothing seemed awkward or forced. He introduced you to his friends, and they were all so welcoming you feel like you’ve been friends for ages. He treated you like any other classmate, normal and friendly.
And that is the problem.
Because you know that, to Jaehyun, you’re just like any other person here. You’re just a normal classmate. Not the girl who used to braid flowers into his hair as the two of you talked under the shade of the oak tree, chatting your afternoon away. Not the girl that he used to enthusiastically greet every day, eager to share his strawberries. Not the girl that he swore he’d never leave behind.
You know you mean as much to him as much as his other friends do. You know that his stomach doesn’t do this funny dance whenever you’re around. You know that his cheeks don’t become warm whenever he hears your voice. You know he doesn’t look forward to seeing you every day, like it’s one of the only things that keep him going.
Your throat burns with this feeling. It’s stupid. You hate whatever’s going on—the faint sliver of hope that Jaehyun just might remember you after all. Maybe he was just pretending.
But for what?
Because everytime you look into his eyes, you don’t see the Jaehyun you cherished with your entire heart. All you see is someone, still the same Myung Jaehyun, who had long since moved on.
You’re fine on your own. You know that. You’ve always been.
You’ve always been by yourself, you didn’t realise how fun and fulfilling it’d be when there’s a special someone in your life.
When Jaehyun left with no warning ten years ago, you had thought it was the end of the world. You had put yourself through the painful process of moving on, of finally accepting that maybe Jaehyun wasn’t meant to be yours forever all along.
But then, Jaehyun reappeared. He made his way back into your life, a decade later, as smoothly as the way he first introduced himself to you as a four year old.
Yet he had the audacity to treat you like you’re a new friend.
You close your eyes for a quick moment, trying to suppress all the memories that are rushing back into your head.
“C’mon, Y/N, you’ll be late for your class,” Jaehyun says, tapping your shoulder. It brings you back to reality, and without realising, you’re staring sharply at him with that alarming sensation of tears collecting in your eyes.
Jaehyun, of course, is quick to notice this. His grin fades into a frown. “What’s wrong? A-are you sick?”
You inhale sharply, taking your bag. “No,” you say, slowly shaking your head. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Okay,” you hear Jaehyun quietly responding as you walk past him. You walk out of the classroom and into the hallways, too tired to even stop Jaehyun from following you. You let him accompany you to the after school tuition centre in town, silently waving him goodbye as you watch him cycle back to school.
You turn around, sighing.
YOU know you’re about to hit the end of your patience.
Your school is hosting a winter festival, organised by juniors and sophomores, a few days before winter break. It’s fun when you think about it, but not as much when you’re paired with Jaehyun for a game.
The school courtyard is bustling with students, all bundled up in wooly scarves, mittens and puffy jackets, gathered together at the booths set up for your school’s winter festival. The ground is carpeted with white, fresh snow, and a large part of it had transferred into a battlefield for snowball fights, complete with stacks of hay, snowbanks, and random objects as forts.
“Sorry Y/N,” Yoona says, setting her lips into an apologetic line.
You shook your head, sighing. Everyone is already paired up with each other—Minji with Sanghyeok, Yoona with Sungho—and you’re left with Jaehyun for the snowball game. You look at Jaehyun, who looks very eager.
“You’re with me, Y/N!” he exclaims, sliding his arm around your shoulders. His smile is bright and, as much as you didn’t like it, it makes you smile too.
“So we’re going to draw some sticks and see which teams are going to go against each other,” Jihyeon, one of the juniors in charge of the snowball game booth, says as she comes up to you and your friends.
“You can go first,” you say to Minji, and she nods.
She reaches her hand in the cup Jihyeon is holding out, and pulls out a random popsicle stick. The edge of it is coloured red.
“It’s red?” she asks, a little confused.
Jihyeon smiles. “That means you’ll be competing against another team who pulled out a red stick!”
“That’s us!” Jaehyun, who’s standing next to you, suddenly exclaims. He holds a red popsicle stick in his hand. You turn to him, slightly surprised. You didn’t even realise he had been picking a popsicle stick for the two of you.
“You don’t mind me picking for us… Do you?” he whispers to you. You give him a small smile before shaking your head.
“I don’t mind.”
You and Jaehyun are going against Minji and Sanghyeok for the snowball game, while Yoona and Sungho are fighting against another pair of seniors. Jihyeon gave each team five minutes to make as many snowballs as possible. You and Jaehyun worked your best to form the snowballs—you weren’t too good at handling cold snow, but Jaehyun seemed to be the best at it.
“We’ll win this,” Jaehyun says to you, crouching down behind your side of the area. You crouch down next to him, awkwardly nodding.
He smiles at you in reassurance, and some kind of positive energy fills you up.
And before you could even process any of it, Jihyeon blows the whistle, indicating the start of your snowball fight. A chaos, made out of crazed giggles and snowballs crashing against bodies, begins to erupt, and you lose sight of Jaehyun in the middle of it.
Jaehyun is immediately in his element—his snickering laughter ringing through the school courtyard as he hurls snowballs at Minji and Sanghyeok. He ducks and dodges behind a snowbank, his chequered brown and red scarf flying behind him like a flag.
You’re standing awkwardly behind a stack of hay tall enough to cover you, holding a snowball with both of your hands. Jaehyun suddenly lands next to you, and as soon as he sees you, he tilts his head with a smirk. “Y/N,” he says loudly against the frenzy, “you’re supposed to throw the snowball, Sunshine, not hold on to it like a favourite teddy bear.”
Jaehyun gives you a teasing grin before dashing off to hurl more snowballs towards Sanghyeok, triple the amount he just threw to his face moments ago.
You remain there, standing still.
Sunshine? What was that?
Your cheeks turn pink underneath your knitted scarf, and it’s hard to tell whether that was caused by the cold or from the way that Jaehyun’s grin made your heart flip.
You watch as Jaehyun plays around in the snow, his giggles resonating around the air. You stand there, your heart thumping loudly in confusion.
He definitely remembers.
You absentmindedly take a step back, clutching the snowball in your hands harder, the stinging cold no longer bothering you.
A second later, Jaehyun arrives next to you, almost slipping. He pants, and despite that, he’s still grinning joyfully. He locks his gaze with yours, and upon noticing your expression, his smile falters a little.
“Y/N?” Jaehyun asks, “are you okay? Why aren’t you playing?”
“‘Sunshine’,” you state plainly, eyes unblinking. “What was… that?”
Jaehyun freezes. He opens his mouth, but for a while, nothing comes out. He stares at you, something unreadable clouding his eyes. The wind blows at his messy hair, flopping against his forehead.
“What are you talking about?” he asks, chuckling rather sheepishly.
You narrow your eyes. You’re not letting this go. “Jaehyun,” you press on. “Answer me, Myungjae.”
Upon the nickname, his eyes widens.
Jaehyun hesitates, and for a while, it looked like he was about to give you the answer you desperately wanted. However, your hopes were crushed as a snowball from Minji came hurling towards your direction, crumbling upon impact against your hair. Jaehyun’s eyes widens, and his focus turns back to the snowball match.
“We have a minute left,” he says, rushingly grabbing several snowballs. He’s about to turn to Minji and Sanghyeok, wanting to throw more snowballs at them—but he pauses. He leans close, brushing snow out of your hair with his free hand.
Your breath catches in your throat. A rush of warmth goes up your cheeks, despite the raging emotions and thoughts in your head.
He’s too close.
Jaehyun chuckles. After making sure all of the snow is gone, he ruffles your hair, trying his best to make it look okay again. “There,” he says, his voice low and comforting. “All good.”
You watch him turn his focus back to the snowball frenzy, unable to utter a word. You stare at him, his grin decorating his already handsome face. Your heart claws against your chest as you try your best to pull your eyes away from Myung Jaehyun, who looks too gorgeous with his brown hair adorned with sparkly snowflakes.
You know he’s lying. You know he remembers.
But why is he doing all this?
THE last bell of the day rings, the entire school erupts in a chatter of celebration. Students run out of their classrooms, walking out with their friends as they chat the rest of the day away. Several student council members are doing several of their last duties of the day, making sure that everything is perfect before leaving the school for a month.
You’re at your locker, double-checking everything. You make sure to stuff your bag with things that you’re not too confident at leaving at school for a month—your chemistry textbook, the mirror that your old friends got you. You also made sure to replace the tape that’s holding up the polaroid pictures of you and your family, hoping that it’d stay up for longer this time.
Your eyes linger around the polaroid of you and Jaehyun—taken at the young age of six. It was the first day of school, you vividly remembered.
You used to look at that picture with a bittersweet, reminiscent feeling. You always used to look at that picture with some kind of hope that you’d meet Jaehyun one day.
But now, you can’t do that anymore.
You glance at Jaehyun’s direction, a few metres away from you. He’s at his locker with his friends, Ricky and Sungho. He’s laughing, as always, and he’s effortlessly blending in like he always did. He’s enjoying his time with his friends, like he didn’t just spend the last few months unknowingly ripping you into pieces.
How could he be so carefree when you’re feeling like this?
You hate it. So much.
Too much.
You hate how your chest aches whenever you catch Jaehyun looking at you, the way he looked at you like any other classmate, betraying the years you spent together. You hate how he seemed to have easily erased you from his past, like you meant absolutely nothing to him. You hate how he seemed to have forgotten you so heartlessly, when you have spent years holding onto him.
But now, you can’t hold it in anymore.
Jaehyun had finished his conversation with his friends, and now he’s walking towards you, tossing his ball up and down, flashing that same easygoing smile that had captured your heart—and something inside you snaps.
“Do you really not remember me?”
Jaehyun pauses, his eyes bulging and his footsteps halting.
You didn’t mean to say it.
You had spent weeks bottling it all up, second-guessing yourself amidst all the mixed signals. You constantly told yourself that it didn’t matter, that Jaehyun truly did forget you, and that it had been too long for him to even remember you as much as you remember him.
You can’t just bottle it in any longer.
Jaehyun blinks, clearly taken aback. “What?”
You exhale sharply. You can’t take it back anymore. “You really don’t remember me, do you?”
JAEHYUN bangs his head against his bedroom door, regretting every single thing he’s done.
Why did he even do that?
After he said goodbye to Ricky, who was going on a winter vacation to Italy, he turned to you. He approached you, subconsciously having that same stupid lovesick grin that his lips somehow form whenever he’s around you. He’s walking towards you, like how he does it every other day.
Usually, you’d greet him with that adorable little smile of yours.
But today, he was smothered with a menacing glare and a question that he doesn’t expect instead.
“What are you talking about?” Jaehyun said, trying his best to sound innocent. He was unable to pry his gaze away from you, but he hoped that you didn’t catch the quiver in his eyes.
You didn’t say anything for a while, and he watched as whatever emotions you had swirling in your beautiful eyes changed into a solid look of hurt and betrayal.
Jaehyun felt his heart drop to the floor.
It’s like everything stopped, and his stomach began to twist, the memories rushing back as they played through his mind like a broken film tape that he couldn’t stop from playing.
“You really, really don’t remember me,” you said, quiet with a humongous amount of hurt. Your voice cracked, and Jaehyun’s heart began to crumble because of it.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Jaehyun replied, forcing out the words as firmly as he possibly could.
His words felt like acid on his tongue. Jaehyun had told this lie many times before, but today, it felt more painful than the others. But Jaehyun did it anyway, over and over again.
Because it’s easier than admitting the truth to you. It’s easier than having to acknowledge the feeling that’s twisting his heart, hurting his chest.
You exhaled shakily, and for a second, Jaehyun swore that he could see through you—your eyes searching him, like you were finding the real Jaehyun, who had been the one that promised he’d be your rock until the end of time.
And the fact that you still had that effect on him—making him feel like he’s on Cloud 9—after all these years, only made it worse for him.
“You’re lying,” you snapped, your eyes starting to sparkle with unshed tears. Your voice began to rise with every word you uttered. “You do remember me. You remember everything. Don’t you?”
His heart began to thump loudly against his ribs. He had never seen you so worked up like this, he had never heard you raise your voice like this.
Jaehyun stared into your eyes, the truth burning at the back of his throat. He hesitated, almost spitting it out.
But in the end, he swallowed it.
“I don’t get it, Y/N,” he countered, trying to sound confused. Though, it didn’t sound convincing, even to him. “Maybe we’ve met before, in-in the past, but I truly don’t remember anything.”
Your gaze stiffened, and the desperation in your expression faded. Jaehyun kept his guard strong—he couldn’t let you see him crack, even though the weight of your disappointment was heavy on him.
Then, after a minute of silence that felt too long, you gave him a straight smile.
“Okay,” you whispered. You slammed your locker close and immediately walked away, not giving Jaehyun a chance to say anything else.
He wanted to chase after you. But he couldn’t.
He watched you turn away, and as the doors closed behind you, he felt the loss crumbling upon him, heavy and unbearable.
YOU’RE not even sure why you’re feeling like this, but you are angry. Upset.
Who wouldn’t be, especially after witnessing the only person who made you feel truly understood shun you out, saying that he doesn’t remember you?
You didn’t really like leaving your messages unread and unreplied, but for the first time, you let your text channel with Jaehyun clog up.
It’s the morning of Christmas, and you wake up to almost fifty new texts from Jaehyun alone. You don’t open any of them, but you couldn’t help but read some of it from the notifications bar.
y/n, did i do something wrong?
y/n, are u okay?
y/n, i can’t believe u declined to go snowboarding 2gether yesterday. we had so much fun!!!
okay fine. i shouldn’t have used that tone
honestly it kinda sucked to not have u around
i know u’d like seeing the sunset from on top of the mountain
y/n i hope u’re eating well
y/n, did u go see the big christmas tree in the city centre? i’m in front of it rn.
y/n. merry christmas.
enjoy your day
You sigh, turning off your phone. It pained you, probably just a little bit, to ignore all of Jaehyun’s attempts to reach out to you. You did feel a bit sad that you’re missing out on fun plans that he wanted to do with you—but what could you possibly do? You know you’re not ready to face him without baring your teeth at him.
You enjoy the day with your family, happy to see them after a long time, especially your cousins and grandparents. You ate a lot of good food, took a lot of pictures, played a lot of games with your nieces and nephews, and of course—exchanged many memorable moments and laughter with your family members.
You were playing in the snow with your little cousins, your heart stinging a little. Not from the cold, but from the memory that you have associated with snowball fights—Jaehyun. There was something warm about hurling cold balls of snow that made the tips of your fingers red. Maybe it was because you were fond of the person smiling at you during that time, or maybe because the way snowball fights produce heartwarming laughter reminds you of the person that you’ve cherished for so long and how his laughter fills your heart with joy.
Your mother called you inside, and after shaking off all the snow from your coat, you joined everyone else for the gift unboxing time. You got many gifts from your family and friends alike, but when it came to the largest box addressed to you, you can’t help but feel a little pang in your heart.
Who was it from?
You flip the card attached to the gift, the world going completely silent for a second. Your eyes widen at the sight of Jaehyun’s name scribbled onto it, along with a short message.
Merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy this.
“When… how did this get here?” the question escapes your mouth almost instantly, but you know that’s not what you really wanted to ask.
“A boy came off to drop this just now, when you were playing in the backyard with the kids,” your aunt replies, handing you a piece of brownies. You put it in your mouth, chewing slowly as you try to process her words. “I asked him if he wanted to come in and talk to you, but he refused and ran away so quickly I didn’t have time to stop him.”
You merely nod, unable to say anything due to the heavy feeling pressing down your chest. Slowly, you rip the wrapping paper open, holding in a breath you know wasn’t necessary.
You didn’t know what you expected.
An apology letter, maybe.
Or something that he remembered that you always liked.
But instead of that, your hands are holding a gingerbread house kit and a store-bought Christmas card taped to it.
Whatever hope you still had remaining for Jaehyun fades, and your jaw clenches.
It’s time to stop.
“LOOK, it’s Shinyu,” Yoona nudges you, giggling rather uncontrollably. You glance at his direction, a little wide eyed from how blatant her statement was.
You’re walking with Yoona and Minji to your school’s library, located in the middle of campus grounds. You’re almost there, when you spot Junghwan���or more famously known as Shinyu, and his group of friends walking in the opposite direction.
“Shush,” you whisper. “Why are you making this such a big deal?”
“‘Cause he’s such a gentleman, duh,” Yoona replies, deadpanned. Though, that kind of expression on her face lasts only a second. As you and Shinyu’s steps grow closer to each other, and heat begins to rise up to your cheeks, Yoona couldn’t hold her smile back.
“We’re just friends,” you state, dismissing whatever she’s about to say. You shove your hands deep into the pockets of your puffed jacket, and you set your gaze straight ahead.
Yoona gives you a raised brow. “I never said you guys weren’t. Are you saying that you guys are more than that?” she asks, the octave of her voice going higher.
“Someone’s excited,” you mumble. You quickly turn to Minji, desperate. You’re going to walk past Shinyu and his friends anytime now.
“Min, help,” you plead between gritted teeth.
To your surprise, Minji laughs, putting her hands up. “I’ll always defend you, but this time, I can’t—you and Shinyu are too cute for me to prevent it.”
Your heart skips a beat, and your mouth is agape. Though, before you could say anything to counter Minji’s remark—that’s already making her and Yoona laugh—Shinyu is already next to you.
“Hello,” he says, his voice sweet like honey.
You freeze in your steps, and you quickly turn to him. Shinyu, standing much taller than you, has a fresh smile plastered on his face–the sincerity of it feels like it’s only for you. Though, you don’t want to get your hopes up for anything. You and Shinyu had recently started becoming friends, right after winter break ended a few weeks before this: he’s in your English and PE class, and he often sits near you when you’re studying in the library. You always see him playing basketball after school, too.
You give him a small smile. “Hi, Shinyu.”
“Where are you going?” Shinyu asks. He nods in acknowledgement to Yoona and Minji.
“Library,” Minji replies, looping her arm with yours. “Do you wanna come with us?”
Shinyu glances towards his friends, who’s talking amongst themselves.
“I promised my friends I’d come to study with them in the common room,” he says, before shifting his gaze back to you, and there’s some kind of determination shining through. “But you know what?”
Flustered, you blurt out. “What?”
“Yo, guys, I’ll be studying in the library,” he announces to his friends. Some of them roll their eyes, but eventually, they all agree to meet up after school.
“Let’s go then?” he says, flashing you a smile.
Yoona clears her throat, and even though muffled, you can clearly hear her giggling. You press your lips together, nodding. You’re feeling shy for no reason. “Okay. Let’s… go.”
Shinyu grins, shoving his hands into his pockets.
The four of you walk to the library—Yoona and Minji, to your right, are giggling their hearts at the way Shinyu’s walking to your pace, his position perfectly shielding you from the sun.
You force yourself to look forward the entire time, Shinyu’s presence suddenly making you feel beet red. Unknowingly, you’re smiling to yourself—Shinyu is well-known amongst your peers for his good manners, and undoubtedly, he’s one of the nicer people you’ve met. You lost count of the amount of times he’s taken care of you, especially when you’re studying.
You chuckle.
Shinyu’s not bad.
“Someone’s in love, huh?” Yoona jests, pushing the library door open. You jolt back to reality, scowling at her.
“I’m not in love,” you whisper sharply. “Also, shut up, he’s next to me.”
Yoona throws her head back, unable to contain her amusement anymore. You ignore her snickering in the back, and you walk inside the library, clutching the straps of your backpack as you try to find a table with enough seats for all of you.
As you’re looking, a familiar voice pulls your attention towards its owner.
“Y/N!” you hear Sungho call you, his voice quiet but loud enough for you to catch. He motions for you and the rest to come over. Yoona and Minji notice this, and they immediately jog over, delighted to see the boys.
However, you’re a little sceptical.
Your eyes meet with Jaehyun, who looks rather wide-eyed to see you. You hesitate, your footsteps heavier than before. You haven’t been really talking to him ever since school reopened after winter break, and this is the first time you’re facing him directly.
Shinyu notices your mood drop. He leans to whisper, “are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, and as far as I know, ghosts don’t really appear in the day.”
You almost burst out laughing at Shinyu’s wooden remark. You bit the bottom of your lips before tugging Shinyu’s sleeve. “Let’s go sit with them?”
“Are you sure?” he asks, voice suddenly shaky.
You nod. “I’m sure they’ll be okay with it!”
You’re not too sure what made you feel so brave to do so—but you pull Shinyu towards the table that all your friends are sitting at, gesturing for him to sit next to you. Jaehyun, who happened to sit directly in front of the seat that you’re claiming as yours for the day, watched with a dumbfounded expression on his face, his jaw dropped. Yoona and Minji smirked, seeming to know what you’re doing, but Sungho and Sanghyeok looked a little hesitant.
Other than the sharp gaze that Jaehyun gave you, lingering a little longer than you’d like, you notice nothing wrong with him.
Not until an hour into studying together.
Shinyu, Sungho and Sanghyeok had gotten along quite well, and you often find yourself trying to stifle your laughter at their jokes. You also saw Minji, who was quite hard to impress, laughing along as well.
You’re mid-laugh when you notice it—Jaehyun’s easygoing demeanour has disappeared. He no longer had that grin that rose higher on one side of his face, one that he displayed when he was amused at something.
Instead, he’s staring.
Not at you, but right at Shinyu, who’s sitting next to you, chatting animatedly about a variety show he watched last night with his sisters. You couldn’t help but observe the boy sitting in front of you—his jaw tight, his fingers obnoxiously tapping against the table. It’s obvious that something is bothering him, given that his bright energy had dimmed.
Normally, Jaehyun would add in to the conversation, spicing things up with a joke here and there, lighting up the atmosphere with his contagious laughter.
You were about to ask Jaehyun about it, but Shinyu is quicker than you thought. He leans in to show you a video on his phone, something related to the funny moment in the variety show that he watched last night.
Your attention is almost immediately pulled towards Shinyu and his phone, but Jaehyun’s actions tugs you back to him harder.
He pushes back his chair with a loud, audible scrape.
“What the hell, man?” Minji hisses.
“Y/N,” Jaehyun says, not even looking at anyone else. “We need to talk.”
“Huh?” you splutter. You thought you made it clear that you don’t want to talk to him.
Jaehyun stomps towards you, and before you could say anything to counter, he grabs your wrist and pulls you away to a far corner.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, as soon as Jaehyun stops in his steps. You’re more confused than angry, the entire incident that happened before winter break pushed to the back of your mind.
Jaehyun mumbles something, but you can’t hear him at all.
“Sorry, what?”
“I said nothing,” Jaehyun replies, his eyes narrowing.
His reply, rather sharp, startles you a little.
And that makes you a bit worked up. “What’s up with you?” you scoff, rolling your eyes.
Jaehyun doesn’t reply. Instead, he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, muttering to himself. His eyes dart here and there, as if he’s trying to find some kind of answer. You stand there, silent as you watch him do his thing, not knowing what to do as a response.
After a while, Jaehyun does something that wasn’t even in the list of things you guessed he’d do—he unzips the hoodie he’s wearing and places it on your shoulders. You stare at him with bulging eyes, mouth agape.
What is he doing?
Before you can even do or say anything to stop him, Jaehyun guides your arms into its sleeves, zipping the hoodie up for you. He takes a step closer to you, leaning close to grab the hood behind your head.
You feel your breath stuck in your throat.
He’s. Too. Close.
Jaehyun, his gaze showing how focused he is at this, pulls the hood over your head, tugging it slightly so that it’s secured. His eyes find yours, and for a moment, the world around the two of you freezes.
You clear your throat, and Jaehyun’s brought out of his trance.
A fake cough escapes him, and he shoves his hands into his pocket, acting cool before he starts walking back to the table.
“Jaehyun?” you call after him. “What’s this?”
Jaehyun looks back at you. “Nothing. Just keep it on. You get cold easily, don’t you?”
You go back to your seat, feeling extremely weirded out. What’s up with this guy?
A part of you tells you that he’s trying to mark you as yours.
You grimace, shutting up that tiny part of you.
He doesn’t even bother to remember me, so why would he do that?
JAEHYUN’S behaviour just keeps on getting weirder and weirder. You really tried your best to tell yourself that it’s not a big deal—but at this point, nothing can convince you that Jaehyun’s not being weird.
You could recall quite a few moments of him being rather significantly bitter, for a reason that you’re not even aware of: one of them being a free period before lunch on a Wednesday, where Shinyu came over to you to ask you a few questions about Math.
You had barely even managed to reply to Shinyu’s request before Jaehyun suddenly got up from his seat, clapping his hand on your shoulder.
You turned sharply towards him, shocked at both the impact and the unexpected gesture. “Jaehyun, what—”
“Y/N,” he interrupted, loudly, “I just remembered! I owed—I mean, you owe me something! An answer. About… about something!”
“What thing?” you frowned. From what your memory serves you, there’s no such thing—
“The, uh—” Jaehyun waved his hand vaguely, glancing at Shinyu, who raised a brow at him. “You know? The thing we talked about yesterday. Super important. Can’t wait. Urgent. Like, right now.”
Before you can even open your mouth, Jaehyun grabbed your hand and pulled you a few steps away.
Shinyu, grabbing his papers, shook his head. “At least be subtle, dude.”
Jaehyun, hand still clasped around yours, narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” Shinyu chuckles.
You looked back and forth between the two guys, sighing heavily. Just what is going on?
Another similar moment occurred the next week, at lunch on a random Friday, where Jaehyun was annoying the living daylights of Shinyu for some stupid reason that you’re not too sure of. Shinyu, being the absolute angel he is, completely dodged Jaehyun’s attempts. He remained next to you, chatting about whatever topic that came to mind. He also made sure to include the rest of your friends, and to give you any part of his lunch that he noticed you liked—that extra crispy chicken or the cream cheese bun that he hadn’t touched yet.
Shinyu had to leave a bit early because his basketball coach had something to discuss with him. He bid you farewell, and as soon as he was out of earshot, Jaehyun immediately perked up, smiling like none of his attempts at making Shinyu pissed off ever happened.
Tired of the same kind of thing happening each day, you decided to confront him about it. At first, you didn’t want to—afraid that you’re just imagining things, but after discussing it with Yoona and Minji, you knew it’s for the best.
“You’re acting weird,” you finally said, eyes pointed straight at Jaehyun.
Jaehyun paused midaction, his noodles slipping down from his chopsticks. “Are you talking to… me?”
Minji punched his shoulder. “Stop being so dense, idiot.”
You nod in Minji’s direction, before turning back to Jaehyun. “Yes, you.”
“Me?” Jaehyun scoffed, leaning back in his chair. “I’m not being weird.”
Sungho snorted in his drink, and Sanghyeok shook his head. You bit back a smile—you’re definitely not imagining this.
“You glared at Shinyu for five minutes. Did not blink.”
“I did not.”
“And you interrupted every time he spoke.”
“Coincidence.”
You gave him a deadpanned look. “You literally dragged me away mid sentence more than two times.”
The falter in Jaehyun’s cocky gaze tells you that you’re right.
Jaehyun groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, maybe I’m acting weird. But it’s not because of him. Not because of Shinyu. I just—”
He cut himself off, shaking his head. “Never mind.”
You stared at him, more confused than ever.
Jaehyun avoided you gaze, and that confirms everything you’re questioning
“...Right.”
He’s definitely acting weird.
JAEHYUN is in a mess. He doesn’t know what he’s doing—and he definitely doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do either.
He knew, from the moment you stopped even reading his messages over the winter break, that he’s truly messed up. But he doesn’t really know what to do, and the only logical solution in his head is the option that he wants to avoid the most.
Jaehyun is dragging his feet through the hallways, dodging noisy students chatting and huddling in groups at the lockers, when he hears a familiar voice talking as he’s passing by.
Shinyu.
The guy that gets on Jaehyun’s nerves whenever he’s around you—the audacity that he has to be flirting openly with you, to show off the fact that he might have a bigger chance with you than Jaehyun ever will.
He wasn’t paying attention at first, and had his foot out to step away already.
“I think I’ll do it in the courtyard,” he hears Shinyu say, “it’s the most perfect spot. Besides, Y/N likes the marigolds there.”
Jaehyun feels his heart stop, his body freezing mid-step.
He barely registers the students passing him, hitting his shoulders multiple times. Shinyu’s words sink in, heavy and dangerous.
“Damn,” another voice speaks, “so you’re really confessing? On Valentine’s day?”
“Yeah, of course,” Shinyu replies confidently. “I mean, Y/N’s amazing. I’d be an idiot not to try.”
“Doesn’t she see you as just a friend?” a voice points out.
Shinyu sighs. “I know, but what’s the harm in trying?”
“She’s quiet, though, isn’t… she?” another voice asks.
Shinyu shrugs. “I don’t mind, she’s perfect in my eyes anyway.”
Jaehyun’s stomach twists. His fingers are clenched into fists at his sides, and he knows he should just walk away.
But his feet won’t move.
Jaehyun stands there, his heart hammering violently against his chest. He frowns, pretending that whatever he heard didn’t get under his skin at all.
Shinyu is confessing. To you.
And the worst part is Jaehyun has hardly any idea what to do about it.
JUST as he thought his day couldn’t get worse, Jaehyun spots Shinyu running up to you after the last bell rang, a bunch of snacks in hand. He intercepted you from Jaehyun, who was on his way to you, a box of Pepero in his hand.
It slips from his hand, falling on the ground.
Jaehyun knew.
From the way your eyes begin to light up whenever you see Shinyu, and the way your smile is just so bright whenever he’s near. The way you talk more and more, prompted so effortlessly by Shinyu. The way you look like you’re glowing when you’re with him… it hits Jaehyun.
He’s going to lose you.
His vision becomes blurry as he stands in the middle of the courtyard, as still as stone. Jaehyun can’t ignore this any longer.
He can’t ignore the way his heart is eager whenever he sees you. He can’t ignore the way the world seems a little less gloomy, a lot less lonely when you’re around. He can’t ignore the way his chest hurts, like it’s about to burst, whenever he sees you flashing that adorable, rare smile around anyone else. He can’t ignore the fact that he feels like he’s about to throw up flowers everytime he sees you with Shinyu, all giggly from whatever he says to you.
He just can’t disregard the fact that he has obvious feelings for you, that he still loves you after all these years.
Jaehyun had always known those feelings, pushed away deep in his stomach, but these past few weeks—it keeps on growing larger and larger, more urgent and more consuming. The small flutter in his chest when he watched you laugh, the feeling that settled comfortably around him whenever you look at him with those warm eyes, and the overwhelming ache when you’re around Shinyu.
Jaehyun had tried his absolute best to ignore it.
But now, watching you interact with Shinyu—sharing snacks, smiling so shyly with him—it made Jaehyun extremely aware of himself. Shinyu, your fellow classmate who seemed to know exactly what to say, the one who made you giggle and smile the way Jaehyun used to always do… the feeling hits Jaehyun differently.
Jaehyun felt like the ground underneath him was about to crumble, and the earth was about to eat him alive. His heart twists so painfully it makes him feel like he wants to run and hide from the shattering realisation that you might never look at him the same way he has always looked at you.
He wishes that he had been more courageous, more brave to admit to you that you’re his world, and he’s orbiting you—that you hadn’t left his mind, ever since he left ten years ago. Not even once. He wishes that he had been more valiant, and that he told you, the first time he bumped into you, after a decade of not seeing his favourite person—that he missed you dearly. Your laughter, your smile, and the way that it’s reserved only for him to see—he wishes he said that to you the first time.
Honestly, Jaehyun wasn’t even really sure why he lied to you. Sure, he was scared, afraid that you might not remember him at first. But after a while, he just didn’t want his feelings for you to be out in the open. He knew you remember him—but he was simply terrified.
What if you didn’t like him the way he did?
What if he’s the only one that’s feeling like you’re the most important person in life?
Jaehyun was too afraid of you rejecting him to stop lying.
Though, he thought that his way of showing his feelings, rather subtly in his opinion, through little acts of service could make you notice.
Even so, Jaehyun knew that it only made you more confused.
He really wanted to be happy for you—he really does. You deserve all the goodness in this world, and you deserve to be happy with someone who looks at you the way Jaehyun looked at you all this while, but his chest twists with a blazing jealousy: an emotion he never thought he’d feel when it comes to you.
It’s not fair.
Not to you, not to him.
How could he be so stupid? How could he be such a loser, a coward?
Jaehyun takes a shaky breath in. He could tell, from the way you looked at him, and from the way your eyes crinkle when you smile at him, that you had no idea. No absolute idea about the chokehold you have on him—the way every shared moment, every glance and every smile is carved into his soul.
You have no idea how much he’s hurting, from the way you’re clearly upset with him, the way you’re growing closer to Shinyu, and the way you’re slipping away from his reach with every passing moment.
But then, something clicks in him. He’s not going to let the ache, the jealousy and the frustration take the reins—he’s no longer going to shrink back into the shadows.
This is going to be his moment. His time to shine. Jaehyun could feel the determination settle firmly in his chest, and his mind begins to come up with a plan. The fear and the doubt is burned to ashes, and it’s no longer going to hold him back.
He had been such a fool.
This time, no more hesitating. No more waiting. No more wondering what if.
If he wants you, he’s going to fight for it.
He’s not going to let himself lose you to anyone else. Not now. Not ever. You’re his best friend, his rock, his confidante. You understand him in ways others don’t, and he knows you more than you even know yourself, even after all these years. And if anyone is going to make you realise that, it’s him.
JAEHYUN hadn’t meant to walk this way.
It’s the night before Valentine’s day, and somehow, his feet had brought him to your house, a couple blocks away from his own. He’s in a new neighbourhood, and the house he’s approaching is new, but the feeling is familiar.
He slows to a stop, staring at your house—remembering how it used to be some kind of second home to him. It’s a new house in a new state, but Jaehyun could still remember sitting on the front steps with you, munching the afternoon away with your mother’s homemade snacks. He still remembers doing homework with you on the porch, laughing at the way you huffily grumbled under your breath when it came to difficult questions you couldn’t solve. He still remembers building a pillow fort in your living room, calling it your ‘secret base’.
His fingers curl around the strap of his guitar.
Have you ever realised how much you mean to him? How much do you always mean to him?
A gust of wind blows through the quiet street.
Jaehyun stares at your window, the warm glow radiating from inside. He swallows hard.
It’s now or never.
Taking a deep breath, he takes a step forward and begins picking his guitar.
YOU shove your headphones down your neck, heart thumping fast.
What’s the noise outside?
You walk towards your window, nervous upon hearing the melodious guitar and the singing muffled by the bricks in your walls.
“Man, I'm so nervous to death
I relax my stiff lips
I might fail miserably like this
I might mess up
Hi, the weather's nice. Wanna take a walk?
My shy voice is just for you!
Ah, please, don't say no
Oh, I won’t beat around the bush
From my head to toe
No, even my heart’s under pressure…”
You recognise that voice.
Jaehyun.
What’s he doing here, in the middle of the night?
You peek through the curtains—and your assumption is correct. There he is, Jaehyun, standing rather awkwardly in front of your driveway with his guitar.
Your eyes widen. He’s singing.
Or more accurately, screaming.
“I love you, baby, baby, baby
I’ve been screaming the whole neighborhood knows
I like you!
My neighbors go, yah, yah, yah
Let's get some sleep, yoo-ooh, oh-oh
I swear you'll like it.”
You close the curtains sharply, turning your back to the wall. Your face begins to feel hot, and your breaths turn to short, ragged gasps.
You close your eyes, trying to drown Jaehyun’s voice out, but you can’t.
Slowly, you open your eyes again, letting yourself to hear him out.
And soon enough, you realise the meaning behind the words he’s singing.
“Ah, please, don't say no
Oh, I don't want to be just friends
From my head to toe
No, even my heart's under pressure!”
You push your curtains aside, taking in the view. You expect him to be singing rather calmly, but instead, you’re greeted with Jaehyun, kneeling on the road as he’s serenading you.
“I love you, baby, baby, baby
I've been screaming the whole neighborhood knows
I like you!”
You barely processed what he just sang.
One second, you were in your room, standing frozen as your breath hitched at the sound and sight of Jaehyun’s singing echoing through the neighbourhood.
Next, you’re running out of the house.
You didn’t think—you just ran.
Your parents, who were alarmed by Jaehyun’s singing, didn’t even have time to react. You flew past them, socks sliding across the wooden porch, nearly tripping down the slippery steps.
“Y/N! Your coat—”
Too late.
“I love you, baby, baby, baby
I've been screaming𑁋”
You bolt towards Jaehyun, crashing into him with so much force he barely had time to catch his guitar.
“𑁋the whole neighborhood knows
I like you𑁋oof!”
From the door, your dad raises a brow. “...did we miss something?”
Your mother merely chuckles, smiling knowingly.
“You really—” you gasp, your breath visible in the air, “—had to do this in front of everyone?”
Jaehyun grins, entirely unbothered. “Of course.”
You cover your face with your hands—you were embarrassed, at first, but now it’s not even about all that. Your body is trembling, not from the cold nor embarrassment, but from the overwhelming warmth that is engulfing you.
Jaehyun gently pries your hand away. “Hey,” he says softly, his grin now a gentle smile, “did it work?”
Your lips part. “What? Did what work?”
“Making you fall for me.”
Jaehyun barely had time to flash you another of his smirks before you fling yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist.
He lets out a startled laugh, stumbling back slightly. “Whoa—hey, what’s–”
“You’re so embarrassing,” you say against his jacket, your grip tightening. “And loud. And ridiculous.”
And just so, so cute.
Jaehyun giggles, running a hand through his hair. “So,” he says, and you pull away to look at him. “How was it?”
You look at him with slightly narrowed eyes. “How was what?”
“I just serenaded you. That basically means you have to date me now, right?”
You gasp, hitting his chest. “Jaehyun–!”
“I mean, that’s like, a rule or something. I put in all this effort, to sing to you on a very cold winter night—made myself look completely ridiculous, and now you have no choice but to fall for me. That’s how it works,” Jaehyun continues, a smug look on his face.
You roll your eyes, to hide the obvious flush in your cheeks. “You’re unbelievable–”
“Unbelievably charming?” he cuts you off, wiggling his eyebrows.
“No. Unbelievably embarrassing.”
Jaehyun dramatically gasps. “Excuse me, that was romantic. I even practiced the song! Twice!”
You swat your hand, face burning, but he catches it.
You stare at him, wide-eyed, your heart dangerously racing.
“Y/N, listen… I know I can be a lot,” Jaehyun begins, his voice softer and more serious now. His grip on your hand tightens. “And you’re quiet and reserved, but I think we fit perfectly. With each other.”
You want to say something, but you keep your silence—you don’t really trust yourself to say anything in the state you’re in.
“You know why?” Jaehyun continues rambling, his grin morphing into one of the most lovesick smiles you��ve seen, and you find yourself mirroring it. “I love making you smile, and I want to always keep on making you smile until, like, forever—”
Your heart makes a backflip, or something, but you feel your face flushing even more. “Jaehyun, stop–”
“And if you don’t like me back, that’s fine. That… is… totally okay! I will totally accept rejection gracefully, I’ll just be heartbroken for like, ten years—”
“Oh my god—”
“—but if you do like me, please tell me before I make a bigger fool of myself.”
Jaehyun pauses, catching his breath. His eyes find their way back to you, and in the silence he’s left between the two of you, you can’t hold yourself back anymore.
You grab the front of his jacket and yank him forward.
“Shut up, Myung Jaehyun.”
And you kiss him.
Jaehyun lets out a startled sound, but it isn’t long before he melts into you, his hands gripping your waist as he kisses you back, deep and eager.
It isn’t shy. Nor is it soft.
It’s everything—messy, desperate, and full of all of the things you couldn’t say to him.
By the time you pull away, Jaehyun is a breathless mess. He blinks at you like you had just punched him square in the face.
It’s certainly out of character for you, you know that, but you didn’t expect Jaehyun to look absolutely smitten.
“...Well.”
You pant, glaring up at him. “There, you finally shut up,” you mumble.
Jaehyun licked his lips, his grin slow and teasing. “…You can do that anytime.”
You gasp, shoving him.
Jaehyun giggles, grabbing your hand before you could run back inside. He pulls you close, and places your arms around his waist, in the warmth of his jacket.
He rests his forehead against yours, your noses brushing.
“So, are we official now, or do I need to sing another song?”
You look at him, your heart beating with a certain answer.
I love you.
Though, of course, you’re too embarrassed to say that to him. You smack him before hiding your face in his chest.
“Shut up, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun only laughs, and a warm feeling fills you up. He pulls you closer, hugging you tight. “Okay, sweetie, I think that’s enough singing for tonight.”
― © htaesan, 2025.

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Tarn would absolutely be lying if he said that seeing Overlord so absolutely miserable didn't bring him the slightest hint of joy. If Tarn were a Godly mech, he'd call it divine comuppance. Alas he wasn't.
He could absolutely use this new information as blackmail against Overlord, it would be so easy to ruin the reputation the Phase Sixer had curated...
A sly grin crept across his marred lips.
"Do you truly think so little of me? Unlike you, I don't kick vulnerable mechs when they're down." He said, folding his arms over his chassis. "I mostly asked to satisfy my own morbid curiosity. I wanted to know if your constant nattering had some substance to it or not. And now I know. You're just a sparkling pulling on the kibble of another because they don't know how to tell them how they feel."
"Hrmm... not entirely horrified. Mild nausea, perhaps." Though he couldn't pinpoint if it was the thought of Overlord having feelings towards him or if it was his own internal monologue justifying why being with Overlord wasn't such a bad idea.
" Yes I'm sure you are." Overlord mutters a bit to himself, whether Tarns words were true or merely a response to his shock he wouldn't be certain...but he was the one with the honesty 'spell' on him so he wouldn't bother asking....who knew what Tarn would ask next if he even attempted to question him.
Perhaps he was happy he had something to blackmail him with...yes that made more sense " Good I am glad you're pleased with your response regardless of how embarrassing the question was. I'd prefer if you didn't go spreading this around but who am I kidding, perhaps that's why you asked."
" Feel free to run off and hide, I'm sure you're absolutely horrified."
#cybertr0nian#;; muse: the maestro (tarn)#I hope you got my little metaphor#the trope of the boy who pulls on the girls hair on the playground because he doesn't know how to say he likes her
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BACK FOR YOU

summary: Caleb returns to find out you’re having sex with your best friend Zayne.
warnings: MDNI, 18+ content
tags: Nurse!MC, ZaynexMC, CalebxMC, FWB!Zayne, Jealous!Caleb, Love triangle trope perhaps, Caleb doesn’t die in this fic, rough sex, fingering, spitting, spanking, gagging, other filthy stuff, there’s plot in here because i enjoy context lol
word count: 6.2k
notes: not edited and read over quickly once lol just want more caleb smut in my life. also like the idea of love triangle between childhood friends.
The morning shift was almost at its peak. People flooded the hallway. Nurses at the nursing station ruffling through patient files. Doctors pagers beeping as they scurry to the next consultation. Radiologists yelling at physiotherapists to move out of the way as they haul their giant mobile X-Ray machines. In the background you can hear all the patients using their call-bells, lighting up the ceiling TV screens like Christmas Eve.
You sigh, the usual midday headache creeping up your shoulders.
And yet amidst the normal chaos of Akso General Hospital, Dr. Zayne, your childhood best friend, manages to stop in the middle of it all and smirk. ‘Have you had a break yet?’
Flicking your gloves into the bin outside the patient’s door, you turn towards Zayne who happens to be walking down the hallway. ‘I have not peed since I woke up,’ you grunt, making your way across to the busy nurses station to where an amused Zayne rests his arms upon. You let yourself rest on your side, mirroring him.
If it weren't for the many years you had known the man, you would have been fooled by his cool calm demeanor he wears so well. You scanned him. Neatly gelled hair. Freshly shaved face (he missed a spot right by his left jaw). Baby pink button down peaking through his white coat. Polished black shoes matching his pressed pants. And yet you can also note the tick of his jaw. The soft crease between his brows. The faint shadows under his eyes. Zayne was equally as tired. You chuckled, only 3 more hours until the shift ends.
‘I heard the cafeteria is now serving apple pie,’ you offer.
His dark brow quirks up, ‘Since when did you show interest in apple pie?’ he shakes his head, dark hair covering his gaze, ‘Definitely not an appropriate lunch.’
You lean further into your arm, your hand keeping your head upright. ‘I’m sure a certain Colonel would disagree.’
Zayn turned rigid. Right. Caleb.
The DAA Colonel was scheduled to return tomorrow morning. Much to your excitement, the older childhood friend couldn’t help but sense something was off. It was simple. You and Caleb would play while Zayne would watch from afar. And when the sun had set at the playground, Zayne would be the responsible one to walk you home whilst Caleb stayed and played with the other neighbourhood kids. Always measured and always cautious, the childhood dynamic between the three of you remained unchanged even with the other’s disappearance. After high school graduation, the three of you promised to stay in touch no matter what. Even if that meant for Caleb to leave Linkon to join the DAA, leaving you and Zayne behind.
You had hoped for your friend’s return. But hope can be a fickle thing.
-
Caleb’s eyes were fixated on the small red box. Your hands were clasped around it so tightly, your breath caught in your chest. This was a mistake. A nervous laugh bubbled through your throat as you quickly drew the box behind your back, ‘It’s a stupid present!’ you stuttered shaking your head, ‘I just saw it one day shopping with grandma and-’
His lilac gaze darkened as he quickly snatched the box out of your hands.
“Hey!’
Using his height to his advantage Caleb turns his back towards you as he quickly rips open the box again and plucks out the necklace. ‘When you come back…’ he reads, holding up the dog tag out of your reach and smiling. ‘You’re really going to miss me, Pipsqueak?’
You huff as he continues to turn away from your reach, laughing at your poor attempts of swatting the silver chain out of his large grasp. ‘It’s not my fault you chose to become a stupid pilot instead of going to med school like Zayne!’
The older boy scoffs, turning away from you once more to quickly clasp the chain around his neck. He grins as he tucks the dog tag into his school shirt. Caleb couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten at the mention of the older boy's name. It’s always the same with you. Safe. Responsible. No wonder grandma always wanted Zayne to walk you home after school instead of Caleb. Zayne, your neighbour and best friend. The older upper classmen who always had people gushing about him despite his closed off personality. Personally, it always seemed to annoy Caleb.
But he was good to you, Zayne. Caleb knew that. He saw it every time he walked you home. He saw it when Zayne would drop off boxed lunch for you early in the morning on his way to University. And he knew that he would be able to take care of you whilst he went to the DAA.
But Caleb couldn’t ignore the sting in his eyes at the thought of leaving you for several months. And that's only if things at DAA go smoothly. At worst, Caleb may be gone for a few years before he’s even allowed for a stationed break. But he must go, in order to keep you safe.
‘Why don’t you go to medical school if you admire Zayne so much?’ he teases.
You stop attempting to take off Caleb’s necklace and blink up at him. The cotton blouse of your school uniform is dampened with sweat from the summer air. A soft cool breeze threaded through the leaves of the large tree you stood under, cooling your exposed neck under your ponytail. A mix of frustration and embarrassment reddens your cheeks, ‘Maybe I will.’
Caleb stares down at you. He had gotten taller over the Summer. A whole head taller and then some. Graduation was always bittersweet, and to be honest Caleb couldn’t care less for all the other classmates waiting to give him a parting present as well. After the graduation ceremony he found himself at the back court, trying to get some air before all the other students rushed out to celebrate. He wasn’t oblivious to his popularity. He knew from the stares he would get from other girls and glares from his basketball team. But it never mattered.
All he could focus on was you, standing under the big crabapple tree, small red box in hand waiting to give you a farewell gift. His best friend, who for some reason was always a little something more to him.
Caleb bit his pride aside and took in a deep breath. He stepped forward which made you instinctively step back. The treebark was rough against your skin. Your feet planted between the thick roots of the tree. ‘Stay out of trouble Pipsqueak,’ he murmured, reaching forward. He leant forward, bracing himself with one hand against the tree. The other hand reached under his shirt, thumb pulling out the silver chain. The small apple pendant dangled above your eyeline. The engraved words on the dog tag stared down at you.
‘I’ll come back home before you know it.’
-
Zayne was always gentle with you.
Despite him being your senior, Zayne had never let you feel small. In fact, he was the opposite. Any chance he got, Zayne had made sure you felt confident and empowered and supported. Even through nursing school with late night studying and long days working at the convenience store to pay for school- Zayne was there to help. Handwritten flash cards. Homemade lunch boxes. He was there.
And when Caleb stopped responding to your letters and emails, Zayne was there as well.
He can admit, the younger boy was trouble. But he also saw how much he cared for you. After all, you were so excited to give him his graduation present that you decided to ask Zayne for his opinion. ‘Do you think he’ll like it?’ you bit into your nails. Zayne would try not to roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders, ‘He would be an ungrateful idiot if not.’
After all, you were always looking out for them both. Even when Zayne had questioned your motives to become a nurse, you simply responded, ‘It’s so I can help others no matter what,’ you shrugged, ‘And so I can see you often and help Caleb if he ever gets injured.’
It came so easily to you, helping others. It was the biggest thing Zayne admired about you. However it was also your biggest weakness, wearing your heart on your sleeve. His biggest worry was how easy it would be to break your heart.
And so it was Zayne’s personal mission to ensure that no one would break your heart. Because at the end of the day, you were his best friend and he was looking out for you. He would take care of you no matter what.
Which is how you ended up in the abandoned storage room at the bottom of Asko Hospital. With Zayne, taking care of you.
‘A-Ah, Zayne hurry up,’ you whine.
His kisses were more rough today. Something you noted as soon as he had pushed you through the storage room doors. He had carelessly slammed his swipecard against the door lock, pressing his mouth against your neck as he closed the door shut behind you. Peeling off his coat and swipecard, he dropped everything onto the floor one by one.
You turn around to meet his soft lips, pressing yours against them. His tongue made no mistake in entering your mouth swiftly, softly entangling with yours. He smelled of coffee and laundry detergent as he pushed you against one of the metal shelves. His large hands made work to the back of your head, one hand firm at the back of your neck as the other took off the claw clip of your ponytail. Your hair fell around your shoulders as your hands tugged at his waist.
‘Does this count as a lunch break?’
Zayne grunted, taking his glasses off and placing them on the shelf behind you as he brushed your hair over your shoulder. He hummed as he pressed open mouth kisses along your collar bone and you sighed in bliss as your head fell back. This is how it was. It was a mutual decision. Working at a busy hospital meant a lot of stress and frustration would pent up so quickly and easily. It was only logical to find an equally quick and easy release.
Whose idea it was, you cannot remember.
‘You’re so hard already,’ you sigh as your hand feels up the front of Zayne’s pants. He chuckled as he brought a hand forward to cup your breast. Through your thin scrubs he could feel your nipple pebble and harden under your bralette. ‘Could say the same for you.’
You huff and make quick work of his belt buckle and Zayne lets you as you pull down the zipper and drop his slacks around his thick thighs. You groan at the sight of the tent in his black briefs. Lifting your arms up, Zayne swiftly pulls your scrub top over your head and throws it into the corner. He smirks at the sight of your heaving chest. ‘Eager?’ he teases.
‘Whatever,’ you grumble as you tug him forward with his necktie. His mouth was on yours once again. His kisses tasted divine. Not that you had much to compare to. Your mouth only knew Zayne’s. And Caleb.
But that was neither here nor there. And where you are now, wrapped in the strong arms of your favourite doctor, was where you wanted, needed to be.
You bury the thought of anyone else and let yourself fall drunk off his kisses. Pushing your front flush against him, he moans at the contact. Indeed, he was very hard.
‘Do you think you can take an extra fifteen for your lunch break?’ you murmur, mouth getting swollen from Zayne’s tender bites.
Not bothering to respond, Zayne tugs the bottom of your scrubs down enough to expose your pink striped panties. His hand cups the front of your pussy and lets out a short breath. ‘You’re so fucking wet.’ His fingers don’t take time to slip under the soaked cotton and glide themselves over your slick. ‘Is this how you walk around all day?’ he grunts, ‘Wet and waiting for me to take you?’
Your head falls onto Zayne’s shoulder, mouth agape. Your hips buck and grind against his palm, begging for more than just his teasing fingertips.
‘If it weren’t for you walking around like that,’ he buries his nose into the crook of your neck. His hot breath fanning your ear and you shudder. ‘I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything all day,’ he confesses, ‘Do you know how dangerous that would be for me, love? I am the most respected cardiac surgeon in all of Linkon and the sight of you reduces me to nothing.’
His fingers gently caress your swollen clit, massaging them ever so slowly. You can feel yourself getting more wet, practically soaking yourself into his palm. Zayne presses his lips against the sensitive spot of your neck, ‘So fucking wet just for me.’
You whine as your hand blindly reaches for his cock. You can’t take this anymore. You needed more. And today, for no particular reason, seems to have you both riled and wanting more. ‘P-please Zayne, I-I can’t take it.’
He chuckled, his fingers gliding down and slipping inside of you. ‘You can take it,’ he reassured, ‘You can take all of me just like you have been all these months.’
-
Caleb was coming home tomorrow.
That was what you had told yourself over and over again since you had woken up. You thought about him in the shower. While you were attending a patient’s wound dressing. While you ate lunch after your quickie with Zayne. And even now, laying in bed your eyes bore into the ceiling. Caleb was coming home tomorrow. Your head turned to your bedside alarm and sighed. Sleep won’t come easy tonight. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath.
You thought of Zayne. He was different today and you couldn’t pinpoint why. It was nothing out of the ordinary for you two to have sex. In fact, you almost had it scheduled every week. It was a mutual companionship you both had expressed was purely physical and even productive. As you shed away all the stresses of work and the world, you were able to relax in the comfort of convenience in one of your oldest friends’ arms.
And yet there was something about him today that was foreign. In the way he kept you close to him. Visiting you on the ward in the middle of the shift. Asking if you had lunch even though you normally skipped it in return for finishing work early. And how he had kissed you after you had come around his cock, mouth hard and earnest against you.
Your eyes remain closed, pictures of Zayne’s hot body pressed against yours. His hands roaming every inch of your skin. You bit down on your lip. Mindlessly, you let your hands start to feel up your body. The soft silky nightgown (a humorous birthday gift from Zayne last year) falling off your shoulder and exposing one of your breasts. You let out a soft sigh as you palm and pinch at your nipples.
‘Am I interrupting something?’
Fuck.
You could have swore you were dreaming at the sound of his voice. Eyes wide open you sit up, linen pooling around your waist as your eyes directly meet Caleb’s.
Mouth agape, like a fish out of water, you stare at him. Caleb. He stood by the doorframe of your bedroom, body leaning against it as one leg crossed over the other. His arms were folded and a smirk spread across his pink lips. It took you a moment to register who was standing before you. ‘Caleb?’
If Caleb grew a head taller than you after graduation that summer, then he must have grown another foot. His shadow loomed over you. His broad shoulders stretched the thick fabric of his military jacket as he uncrossed his arms and brought his hand up in a mock salute. ‘Nice to see you too Pipsqueak,’ he sings. His violet gaze flickers to your chest and you scramble to pull the sheet up to your chest. But you were too transfixed at the sight of him.
‘So this is how you kept yourself busy while I was gone?’
Pushing off the doorframe he walks into the room slowly. The leather boots and the sound of your breathing filling the bedroom. ‘I thought you were coming back tomorrow.’
Caleb shrugged, ‘I lied.’
He walked around the bed with slow steps. As if with every stomp of his boot, another thought came to his mind. The air around you drew cold and tense. And an air of uncertainty filtered into your bedroom window.
It was late at night. And in this hour, the moonlight painted silver stripes into your room. It shone across your bedsheets and highlighted the violet gaze which never left yours. It was as if the centre of gravity had shifted. And nothing but Caleb’s gaze was holding you down in the bed. You couldn’t even cover yourself, your breast bare to him. You were frozen.
‘I wanted to surprise you. But it looks like you had other things going on.’
You didn’t understand. This was not Caleb. Your Caleb wouldn’t speak the way he is speaking right now. With this air of fear and uncertainty you swallowed down your dry throat. ‘Caleb what happened-’
He stopped at the foot of the bed abruptly and turned to you. ‘One year Pipsqueak.’ he snarled, reaching forward and gripping the edge of the bedframe. ‘I was gone for one year and you had the nerve to go and fuck Zayne? Out of all fucking people?’
You were stunned.
Caleb let out a laugh you could only decipher as mockery. ‘You even went ahead and became a nurse for him! Just like I thought you would,’ he laughed. He took off his hat and your chest heaved as you fully took in his face. Pieces of short dark locks fell above his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. He placed his hat on your bed. The leather gloves tighten its grip against the wooden bedframe.
‘H-How did you know?’
There was no point denying it at this point. But if the man in front of you was truly Caleb, then you had to know how he came to know the secret arrangement you had with Zayne this whole time he was at the DAA.
Caleb snickered, ‘I always knew Pipsqueak.’
He pushed himself off the bedframe and made his way around to the side of the bed. There he stood over you, his shadow eclipsing the moonlight seeping from the window. In the dark, his violet eyes were shining with a sinister glint. He grinned, ‘It was just a matter of what I would do when I came home.’
You felt powerless. Your eyes couldn’t believe that Caleb was here. After a year of mourning his presence, missing him, the Caleb that returned was unrecognisable. Caleb smirked at your face. He could tell you were afraid. It excited him. It excited him even more to see how unfazed you were having your chest so exposed to him. His tongue darted out to wet his dry lips. ‘How long have you been fucking him?’
Your eyes narrowed, ‘I thought you knew everything, Colonel.’
Caleb quickly brought his hand under your chin, the leather of his glove pressing into your skin. He jerks your head closer to him as he leans in, ‘I want you to admit how much of a slut you are.’
‘You couldn’t even wait for me, Pipsqueak,’ he feigned sorrow, ‘You just had to jump onto the next guy that offered you cock.’
You scoffed and tried to pull away from his grasp. But Caleb held onto you tightly, his thumb pinching your chin tightly, ‘Caleb you’re hurting me-’
‘How long?’ he presses.
Your skin was on fire with the intensity of Caleb’s gaze searing into you.
‘Since I started working at Akso.’
He pulled you closer, you could smell him. Smoke and citrus. His lips were almost brushing against yours, his long lashes brushing your cheek as he turned to whisper into your ear. ‘You know you belong to me.’
You shuddered at his words and swallowed.
At this point your breasts were aching, begging to be touched. And the absolute terror Caleb reigned over you had all the more brought out the tingling sensation of your arousal.
He drew only a breath back, his grasp on your chin loosening only a fraction as his eyes stared into yours. Caleb smirked as he feels you practically lean further into his touch. ‘Well?’ he asked, cocking his head to the side in feigned interest, ‘Say it.’
A flash of confusion crosses your eyes before you blink away at his request. ‘What?’
Caleb brings a knee onto the bed, sinking into the soft mattress. He tilts your head up, ‘Say you belong to me.’
A silver shine catches your eyes and your lips part. There, tucked away under the collar of his fleetspace uniform, lay the familiar silver chain. Caleb watches your gaze flicker back to his, and notices the wet shine in your eyes.
When U Come Back.
‘I’m yours, Caleb,’ you choke out, tears threatening to slip against the burning of your cheeks,’I belong to you.’
His mouth crashes into yours almost violently as he pushes you back down into the bed. You land with a soft thud, his gloved hand catching the back of your head as he grasps a fist full of your hair.
A grunt escapes your lips and you gasp as Caleb slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes as good as he smells as he wedges a muscled thigh between your legs. You try to shake the thought that this man on top of you was the same sweet boy who had always played with you at school. The same boy that held your backpack when it was too heavy. The same one that would tie your shoelaces.
The loud crash of boots disappear in the background as Caleb kicks them off and turns your head to the side. He wastes no time in running his other hand up your side as he presses sloppy wet kisses down your throat. ‘You grew into such a pretty slut,’ he teased as he massaged into your side, ‘Do you wear these things every night hoping someone would find you?’
At this point your panting and Caleb chuckles at the sight. He’s proud to see such a reaction out of you. Flushed cheeks. Hair tousled and sticking to your forehead. Your lips parted and almost dry from all the airy breaths.
His nose brushes against your skin as he kisses his way down to your chest, ‘Or were you wearing this knowing I would be knocking on your door in the morning, Pipsqueak?’
Balling your fists, you held onto the sheets tightly. Cocky bastard. Your knees closed in one another, locking Caleb into place. Your eyes darted to him and you sneered, ‘Maybe I was expecting a certain doctor instead.’
The growl erupted from Caleb was carnal. You watched in a trance as he licked a stripe down the fold of your cleavage. ‘Shut the fuck up.’
Your laughter was cut short when Caleb took your breast into his mouth. He sucks roughly at your nipple, grazing at it with his teeth. He hums in approval when you let out a gutteral groan, ‘Fuck.’
His other hand lets go of your head and reaches towards your throat. In a firm grasp, he holds you down as he continues to lap at your tits. ‘That’s right baby,’ he released your nipple with a soft ‘pop’ before kissing his way to the other. He draws a circle with his tongue around the hardened bud before taking it between his teeth. ‘Your tits are so fucking perfect.’
If Zayne was gentle, then Caleb was brutal.
If Zayne was considerate, then Caleb was selfish.
If Zayne was your comfort, then Caleb was your undoing.
You were squirming and your pussy was throbbing beneath your nightgown. And, unknowing to the man hovering above you, you were completely exposed. After all you lived alone, why wear underwear around the house? Saves on laundry.
As if he can scent you, Caleb pulls himself up and cages you under him. He rips off his gloves and jacket, leaving him in his white slacks and button down. His black tie dangles in your face as he leans down. ‘I can smell how fucking wet you are Pipsqueak,’ he muses. He palms his hard cock under his pants, begging for release. But he remains measured, composed. ‘Let me fuck you and I’ll make sure you never need to touch anyone else but me again.’
His words were seeping into your bones as his deep breaths masked his self restraint. You can feel the sheets curl beneath you as he fists the linen in earnest. With heavy lids you avert your gaze, the boldness of his attitude pinning you down. ‘But Zayne is so good to me…’
It was a mistake to even think of another man whilst Caleb practically hunted you down. At the sound of another man’s name, your childhood best friend snarled as he pulled down his pants swiftly.
Holy shit.
He was huge, even in his large grasp. You watch with mouth agape as Caleb lazily fisted his cock above you. His brows furrowed and his violet glare sent shockwaves all over you. He smirked, ‘Zayne might be good to you baby…’
‘But I’m not going to hold back.’
He leant forward once more and you gasp at the hard thickness of Caleb’s cock pressing against your stomach. You groan as he teases the tip of his cock down your navel to the top of your swollen clit. The hardened bud was throbbing and aching and practically begging for any friction. Your hands hold onto the sides of his biceps, the strong corded muscles shifting under his thin shirt.
He chuckled, ‘I’m going to fuck you and you’re going to take everything I’ll give you.’
There was no question in his tone and no room for even doubt before Caleb pushed his hard cock inside you. You let out a yelp at the sheer force of him stretching inside of your pussy. Your fingernails dig into his arms deeper as you moan, ‘Holy shit.’
‘Fucking hell,’ Caleb muttered, drawing his hips back and watching the length of his cock disappear inside of you with a quick snap. The force of his weight moved your body against the bed, the sound of his pelvis meeting yours.
It wasn’t long for you to adjust to him. Your body was practically moulding beneath him, accommodating to every curve and every inch of his hard cock as Caleb begins a brutal pace. ‘Take it for me,’ he muttered, throwing his leather gloves off and finding his hands gripping onto your hips firmly.
The sound was filthy, your wet pussy slobbering all over Caleb’s length as he continuously pulls you into him. You pant and writhe beneath him, ‘Caleb it’s too much-‘
He huffed as he continued to fuck you harder, ‘No it’s not enough,’ he decided. Your eyes were watery at the overwhelming sensation of his touch. There was no time for you to even register him flipping you over to your stomach.
You whine at the sudden loss of him pulling out of you.‘See?’ he sneered, pushing you down and lifting your hips up. His large hands, calloused and rough compared to Zayne’s, kneaded into the soft flesh of your ass. Caleb hums as he palms your soft skin before delivering a loud slap onto you.
‘Ah! Caleb!’
You shudder with each delivering blow, your back arched as your moans muffle through your pillow. Your fingers gripped onto the sheets as the stinging heat of your skin continued.
You can hear the sound of buttons popping and a soft thud onto the ground as Caleb strips himself off from his clothes. Your cheeks reddened at the thought of him naked before you, dressed in nothing but a skimpy silk nightgown.
Caleb reaches for you, grabs a fistful of your hair and jerks your head up. Before you could protest, he stuffs his fingers into your mouth and shoves the black cloth of his tie into it. The sound of your surprise is muffled and gagged.
‘Now I wouldn’t have to hear you say any other name again.’
He wastes no time in pushing himself back into you. The thick head of his cock parting the soaking folds of your pussy before practically sucking him in. Caleb moans, his grip on your ass tightening as he stills inside of you. ‘Fuck,’ he laughs, ‘You’re pussy is so fucking tight.’
He snaps into you, ass in the air as his hips meet yours. You fall back into the mattress, hands bracing before you as your muffled moans fill the room.
‘Isn’t this what you wanted?’ Caleb asks as he pounds into you, pace relentless, ‘Your pussy was practically calling my name the minute I stepped into your apartment.’
His cock throbbed inside of you, penetrating your walls in an unforgiving manner. He was so thick and long and fuck you wanted to come so badly.
Caleb leans forward, wrapping an arm around your waist before pulling you up. Your back is flush against him and the hard muscles of his stomach heave behind you. He fucks up into you, the new angle giving him an even deeper access. His other hand reaches around to your bundle of nerves. ‘This clit is mine,’ he whispers in your ear. The sight of his tie balled up into your mouth turned him on so much. In fact, the sight of you completely reduced to nothing but a cock drunk slut gave him such euphoria.
‘Do you even know how much I missed you?’ he seethed, his fingertips circling your clit as he continued to pound into you. His hips jerking forward with so much intensity you were practically bouncing in the air.
You cry as Caleb’s cock presses itself into your G-spot. The massage of his thick bulbous tip grinding against you was enough to have you standing just by the edge.
Caleb slowed his pace just a fraction as if he could sense how close you were. His hands disappeared from your clit much to your protest. Pushing you off from him, Caleb flipped you back onto your back.
Pulling the gag out of your mouth, Caleb’s eyes were clouded full of lust and desire as you wet your lips. ‘I missed you,’ you return, panting and gasping for air.
Delight flickered in his eyes as Caleb pushing your thighs back towards your chest. He held your thighs there as he lined himself up to your entrance. ‘Fucking liar,’ he chuckled before spitting onto your clit. You moan and swear as the dollop of spit glides down your folds.
‘If you really missed me you would have saved yourself for me.’
He grabs his cock in a tight fist, his other hand holding you open before him. He teases the tip of his cock, covering it in the mixture of your slick and his saliva.
‘Please Caleb,’ you beg.
The sound was glorious. This was all he ever wanted. He didn’t care about anything else. All he wanted was you. And seeing you beneath him, practically a body full of lust and heat and want. It was driving him crazy. He would almost forgive you for what you have done. The betrayal you have committed.
‘Please, please-‘
Caleb fucks you like never before. He enters so smoothly before holding onto your thighs and pounding into you mercilessly. You moan his name over and over again. Caleb grunts in approval, the sight of your tits bouncing sending him over the edge.
‘Your pussy is mine,’ he declares.
You nod in a dazed state, ‘It’s yours.’
His thrusts drove deeper, bottoming out so his balls were flush against you. You let out a long whine, hands clutching onto your tits. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t think of anything else but Caleb fucking you so good. Your fingers pinched and pulled at your nipples, palming and kneading your soft breasts.
‘That’s right baby,’ Caleb sighs at the sight, drinking you in. ‘Play with your tits as I fuck into you.’
His words turned you on so much. The filthy sounds of you fucking and his degrading tone left you feeling an incredible high. You knew you were close.
‘I’m going to come inside of you and you’re going to take it for me. You’re going to be a good girl for once and fucking take it.’
You nod. At this point you were agreeable to anything as long as Caleb continued to fuck you. You chew onto your bottom lip, eyes rolling back at the feeling of his cock continuously hitting that delicious spot.
‘That’s it baby,’ he moans, ‘Fuck you look so good taking my cock like that.’
Your mouth was dry as you stare into him. His foggy gaze was determined and shadowed with an almost animalistic lust. Your hands cup your breasts as you continue to bounce off him.
Fuck, he was going to come. The sight of you was too much. And at the edge of his unraveling, you leaned forward and pressed your mouth onto his. Your tongue lapped at his bottom lip before sinking your teeth into his flesh. Sucking at his lip, you moaned as his silver necklace pressed against your breast.
His kiss was hot and reckless. Losing all sense of control, you feel your own unraveling come before you. Letting out a long whine your pussy clenches around Caleb’s cock as you feel yourself coming over him. It was too much. All too much. The intense pull of your pussy and the taste of your tongue and the smell of you hair was driving Caleb closer and closer to the point of no return.
‘That’s right, come around my cock,’ he shuddered, ‘Show me how good my cock makes your pussy feel.’
His handprints were branding marks on your skin as Caleb delivers his final crushing thrusts into your pussy, claiming all that you could give to him. A wave of pleasure crashed into him as Caleb’s pace faltered. ‘Fuck!’
Hot white ropes of Caleb’s come seeps into you as he continues to fuck into your pussy. You moan his name several times, wrapping your arms around his neck. Caleb brings his arms around you, holding you above him as you grind onto his cock milking his come out of him.
‘Don’t stop fucking moving,’ he commanded, panting into your ear as you grind against him.
You moan loudly as you lazily roll your hips against him, chasing your high as your legs wrapped around his waist with Caleb sat on his knees under you. Your clit, swollen and tortured, rubs against his groin as you feel his come fill you up entirely.
Your hands run through his hair, sweaty and ruffled as you stare into his half-lidded gaze. His eyes flickered to your tongue as it sweeps over your swollen bottom lip. Caleb leans in to kiss you. This time it was more gentle, more soft. Almost tender.
You both take a moment to catch your breaths. Limbs still tangled and entwined, you remain still together in the bed. His cock was still warm inside of you. You didn’t care to move.
You sniffle at the sight of him. ‘How long are you here for?’ you whisper.
In the darkest of hour in the night, despite your loud rendezvous moments ago, your question was quiet and filled with fear and anxiety. Caleb is back. And you don’t think you could ever see him leave again.
Caleb offers you a small smile, arms wrapping around your waist again as you push back his hair from his sweaty forehead. ‘I’ll be here for as long as you need me to be, Pipsqueak,’ he teased. You grunt and slap his chest to which he burst into laughter. The tension in your shoulders lifting at the sound.
Caleb grins and a mischievous glint flashes in his eyes as he brings his hand to cup the back of your neck. Pulling you down, his forehead presses against yours.
‘I came back for you, Pipsqueak.’
Your breath hitches as you can feel Caleb’s cock growing hard again inside of you. His other hand resting on the side of your thigh, his thumb massaging soft circles into your hot skin. The fire in your chest reignites at the carnal desire growing back in his violet eyes.
‘I won’t be leaving anytime soon.’
#lads#lads smut#love and deepspace#love and deep space#lads caleb#lads zayne#lads fic#caleb x reader#zayne x reader#caleb x mc#zayne x mc#caleb smut#zayne smut#caleb fanfic
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