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theos-writing · 4 years ago

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EDS Chess headcanons

me? projecting? yes. i thought it'd be nice to bring a different type of diversity to the fandom and i can really see Chess having eds, so i thought it would be nice to come out with my hcs. slight warning, this is very long

for those who dont know: Ehlers Danlos Syndrom (EDS) is a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects collagen, that is one of the main proteins of the body and is in charge of keeping us together. there are thirteen types of EDS, but overall, the main symptoms are: joint weakness and fragility, stretchy and fragile skin, and chronic pain. people with EDS, if they do any sports, usually have a short career in them, since growth spurts or short periods of time without exercise can make them lose muscle mass easily, and in consequence, not have the compensation for their weak joints and end up feeling pain and dislocate things easily. wanna learn more go to this site (The Ehlers Danlos Society)

this is mainly based on my experiences. eds is different for each person.

Riley never did the stabby thing au

TW: addiction, injury, doctors, medicine and medical exams

Chess had a terrible balance when she was little

she was always falling and getting hurt

so her parents decided to sign her up for gymnastics when she was about four

she was really good at it

the teachers did say she had hypermobility

it wasnt a problem tho, it could even make her a better gymnast if she wanted to keep going!

at the beginning, she got hurt a lot

she twisted her ankles and complained of pain

everyone just brushed it off as growing pains and said that as she got stronger, she would get better

and she did!

for a long time, she had nearly no pain and only dislocated a couple joints

but when she was about twelve, that started getting worse

she was feeling her joints go out of place more often and she was feeling more pain

at this point, she doesnt want to tell anyone

all the pain was just growth pain, they would stop one day

until she started having this weird pain on her shoulder. it wouldnt go away, no matter how long she put ice on it or how she trained. it wasnt stopping.

she was fourteen and on the beginning of freshman year when that happened.

after a while, the pain was just a normal thing for her

it was annoying as hell and she hated it, but she wasnt going to let it stop her gymnastics

so she kept training.

but the pain started spreading. her other shoulder, her elbows and wrists

it was getting hard to write

but she could write on the computer so that didnt affect her studies

she was more concerned about gymnastics

she was amongst the top ranked on the country

even in her worst event, she was still in third place

she couldnt give up now

so she ignored the pain

until she couldnt anymore.

Chess was just practicing when she felt this massive pain shot up her shoulder

she let go of the high bar and fell

the way she landed, half on her feet, half falling down took a turn on her knee

she felt it leave the place where it was supposed to be and she screamed

her knee was nearly on the side of her leg

she panicked, not because of the pain, but because she knew what this meant: her career as a gymnast was over before it had even started

she was fifteen, a sophomore in high school, one of the youngest people recruited for the next olympics

now, all that was over

knowing that hurt more than her knee

Chess needed surgery so they could fix it

and at least four months of rehab to get it to normal use again

but as she thought, no more gymnastics. ever.

she cried for days. if she didnt have gymnastics, what did she have?

then one day, after a really bad pain crisis, she was given vicodin

it felt... good. so she accepted the next time they offered her. and whenever they would ask after, she always had pain.

it wasnt a lie. she had a lot of pain. and with weeks of bed rest, she was developing more and more pain areas. her back, her hips, her ankles, her neck, everything hurt

but she didnt need meds for it. she needed meds so she could fill up that void inside her

she recovered, partially. she still used crutches for months

finally, two months before the end of the year, she was back to walking normally and even doing p.e.

so she decided to try out for the cheer team. it wasnt gymnastics, but it was better than nothing

Kate tried out with her and also quit gymnastics for her

"a best friend wont let you suffer on your own" she said

they both got in, and when they went back to school after the summer, Chess was already fully healed

but she didnt stop with the meds

she would say she knows what happened that year but for her its all a blur her mind blocked out

she dropped Farrah, she knew that, and the younger girl hated her for it

to be honest, Chess also did. she hurt someone, even if not on purpose, she hurt someone. if Farrah landed weird she could've hurt herself as much as Chess did or even die and that would be on Chess.

so for a while she agreed to try to stop

but the pain and the withdrawals were too much

so she went back to it

until the next year. after the sleepover. after what Kate said.

and it was hard. so hard. but she made it through a day, then a week, and a month, and it got a bit easier.

the only thing that got to her was the pain. where the hell was the pain coming from

she refused to take any pain meds for it, she was scared she would slide back. she dealt with that pain for so long, it couldnt be that bad

but it was. she was starting to subluxate and dislocate things almost every week

after another scare with her knee, the school board and her parents decided it would be better if she went off the team

she was distraught again.

but now, what they wanted were answers. they went to doctor after doctor after doctor for months. no one really believed her

she researched and looked for answers on her own until she came across EDS

it sounded... like her. the pain, the dislocations, the short lived life in gymnastics, the skin that would always end up with massive scars, the hypermobility she had since a young age

she talked to her parents about that, and they agreed to take her to a geneticist

she was terrified going to that appointment

she was scared the geneticist would say what everyone else did, tell her its for attention or for the meds

but she listened. she listened while they told Chess' story and their family health history. she did a physical exam and didnt say anything until they were done talking

then she said Chess was right. she did have EDS.

Chess cried when she was told that. she finally had a diagnosis. she wasnt crazy, she wasnt faking it. she had an actual illness

it did mean she would most likely feel pain for the rest of her life, tho

but it also meant she could stop with the E.R. visits and the dirty looks from doctors and the countless blood tests and scans that got them no where

that didnt mean no scans or blood work, but those meant something. those were now to check if she was alright, not to check if she was telling the truth. and it felt so good

she told Kate right when she got home

at first she was scared, but they spent all night reading the articles Chess' doctor had sent to them and watching videos of other people with EDS, and she wasnt scared anymore. not as much anyways

#wow this was long #but im proud of it :)#chess watt #we are the tigers #we are the tigers musical #we are the tigers headcanons #kate watt #kate dalton #nix writes #addiction tw #doctors tw

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letstalkaboutshtufff · 5 years ago

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Ivar x reader Close call

Pairing: Ivar x reader

Warnings: mild language, mentions of poison and slavery, I think that's it?

Summary: Reader who's a slave tries to save the king before it's too late.

***************************************************

Hello my loves! I've recently gotten back into Vikings and wanted to write a little something. Hope you guys like it😚

The great hall was full of life in celebration of some new lands that had been conquered. The ruthless king himself sat on his throne clapping and laughing loudly as the warrior beside him told a crude joke.

You wish you could join them at the table but you were no warrior. Nope life had given you the short end of the straw on that one.

You were just a slave, heck you weren't even an interesting one. Some of your slave friends had managed too woo their masters and be set free with their charming personalities but you weren't bold like them. The boldest thing you've done in your life was sneak some extra portions from the kitchen when no one was looking.

You made your way into the kitchens for the millionth time that night and grabbed some more ready dishes, those warriors ate like starving wolves. The delicious smell of chicken wafted through your nose and you resisted the urge to snatch one up. You hadn't eaten anything since the morning what with everything being so busy preparing and all.

You made your way back into the bustling hall. Setting the down the dishes close to where the king sat. By the gods he was handsome, those blue eyes were like sparkling oceans. Usually you were able to get away with a few glances without him noticing but you must've lingered too long because somehow those ocean eyes were now on you with an eyebrow slightly raised, "Is something on my face slave?"

Shit...

"N-no n-nothing, sorry my king.." you quickly bowed your head down in embarrassment and turned away. An warm hand pulled your arm back before you could run away,

"Make yourself useful and get us some more mead" he ordered.

"Yes my king" you scurried away back to the kitchens, cheeks on fire. Geez what were you?! 12?! If just a little contact made your heart beat so fast and stutter like that, how were you ever gonna get a man.

With a sigh you pushed open the curtain to the kitchen and searched for some bottles.

"Hmm that's strange, someone mustve taken it." You couldve sworn there was a full bottle just a moment ago when you got the dishes.

"Mira do you know where some more bottles of mead are?" You asked one of the other slaves in the kitchen.

"There's more in the back shed! Need help carrying them?" She asked setting down some dirty dishes.

"No I'll be alright!" You smiled and made your way outside. The cool air felt great on your heated skin. It was nice being away from all the noise.

You slid in the slightly open shed door and paused when you saw a brown haired girl standing with her back to you. You heard a quiet clanking noise, like a bottle being shaken, not wanting to startle her you opened the shed door more making a creaking sound.

She jumped visibly and shot around. Eyes slightly wide and a thin layer of sweat on her fore head. She looked panicked for some reason.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you" you giggled trying to lighten the mood, "Are you alrig-"

"I-I'm f-fine.." The girl quickly turned around, gathered up what appeared to be a bottle, and rushed past you.

Okaaay that wasn't weird at all.. she must be a new slave from the conquerored lands. It wasnt uncommon for the new slaves to be scared at first, especially those taken from their homes. Thinking nothing more of it you quickly grabbed up some bottles, the last thing you wanted was Ivar to be angry at you for taking too long. You'd seen the king slap slaves for far less. You knew you shouldn't have been so infatuated with a man who could be so cruel but by the gods when he smiled your morals flew out the window. You wish you weren't a slave, that way you could've had a chance at least to be his friend. Maybe in another life you would be a powerful shield maiden and he would be enamored by your strength. There were so many scenarios that ran through your mind you could've written a book about them. Hell you could've filled a an entire library with all the situations you've dreamed up. Loneliness and a creative mind are a dangerous combination.

When you walked back into the hall you frowned noticing the girl had given Ivar the bottle instead of you.

Aw man I wanted to do that...with an internal sigh you set the mead at the other end where you noticed it was running low. You wondered how much mead these men could actually drink before they drowned themselves inside out. Speaking of drunk men, it might be helpful for you to try and calm the poor girl down. After all drunk men loved to prey on sacred skittish girls. At least knowing she had someone she could talk too and call a friend might help relax her nerves.

You scanned the room and soon spotted the familiar mop of brown curls hiding behind a pillar.

Poor thing must be terrified. Half her body was concealed and she held her fingers to her mouth, nervously chewing on them. You took a few steps towards her but stopped when you noticed she was staring at something like her life depended on it.

Following her line of vision your eyes landed on the kings laughing form. He was pouring from the new bottle and somehow that made the girl even more nervous. Somethings not right...

You were about to start walking towards her again when she suddenly darted off out of the hall.

You looked back at the king narrowing your eyes as he lifted the mug halfway.

The pieces began clicking like a puzzle in your mind

A new slave you've never seen before..

The clanking in the shed...

The nervousness...

Oh no...

It was like everything was in slow motion when you dashed across the room like a madman over to where the king was starting to drink. The cup was just barely grazing his lips when you dived onto his lap smacking away the cup onto the floor.

The commotion caught the entire halls attention and your heavy breaths were the only thing that could be heard in the silence.

You were frozen, completely terrified as the situation you were in dawned on you. All eyes were glued to you.

You turned slightly in his lap and met his very shocked and confused eyes. All 2 of your brain cells managed to squeeze out a single word in defense. "P-poison" you whispered and tried to shuffle off his lap, only for him to firmly grab your arms trapping you in place.

He was getting angry now, a dark look swimming across his eyes, "Poison? Explain yourself slave!".

"T-there was a girl- one I hadn't seen before getting your mead from the shed, before I came in she was doing something I couldn't see and she looked frightened, I didn't think anything of it until you were pouring your drink. She was hiding looking at you like her heart was gonna burst, before you lifted the cup she took off outside. I put two and two together and just reacted..it could be nothing but..." you looked over to where his brother ubbe lifted the fallen cup, carefull not to touch any of the fallen liquid. He held it up to his face and looked deeply inside the cup. His eyes narrowed when he spotted something collected at the bottom, "It's true" everyone gasped around the room, Ivar tensed under you. "Theres powder on the bottom".

"Where is this girl you speak of?" Ivar growled, you shivered even though his anger wasn't directed at you, lifting a finger you pointed towards a side entrance, "She ran that way, she was wearing a red dress and had brown curls." Ivar nodded to some guards and they quickly ran in the same direction. "Do not let that bitch escape!" he yelled after them.

You shifted uncomfortably, he still hadn't let you go.

Apparently the girl hadn't gotten far at all because only a few moments later 2 guards had brought the girl in kicking and screaming. "LET ME GO, PLEASE I DIDN'T DO IT" tears were rolling down her face like a waterfall.

Ivar smiled wickedly before loosening his grip.

You immediately got off and watched as he grabbed his crutch. The shaking girl watched in utter horror as he slowly walked towards her like a predator.

"Didnt do it? Didnt do what hmm? Didn't try to poison me?" He knelt down a few inches from her face grabbing her chin with his fingers.

"Shh shhh stop crying, I'm not going to kill you" he caressed her face in a calming motion. The girl started to calm down but you knew what was coming, with a smirk he leaned towards her ear, "I'm going to break you". She thrashed around once more as Ivar got up and ordered the guards to take her to a cell, she fainted and had to be carried out when he said he would be in later to interrogate her. Poor thing, you guessed someone had threatened her because she did not look like a killer. And slaves were an easy target for such schemes.

Once the guards dragged her away Ivar turned to the crowd, "My friends, I believe we were in the middle of a celebration were we not? Bring out fresh mead!" The men cheered and soon the silent hall was once again bustling. You stood there awkwardly by the throne not knowing if you should just leave and get back to work. While you were debating the king turned to you with an amused smile. "What is your name my little hero?" You felt heat rise to your cheeks at the nickname.

"Y/n my king" you bowed slightly.

"Y/n...I believe I owe you a thank you" he walked closer to you which made your heart do a little leap.

"That's not necessary my king I was only doing what anyone would". He laughed and you looked up at him slightly confused. What was funny?

"Believe me when I say there are many who would like nothing more than to see me dead" the thought of that made you very sad.

"Well in any case" he stopped until he was right in front of you, lifting your chin up with a finger "you deserve a reward don't you agree?" The feel of his fingers on you were too good and suddenly words evaded you. All you could do was stare into his devilish eyes and nod slowly.

The Cheshire cat could learn a thing or two from how he was smiling now. Leaning into your ear he whispered "Good, because by the way I've caught you looking at me the past few weeks, I think I know exactly what kind of reward you desire".

Gods help me...

***************************************************Thanks for reading! Comments really make my day and inspire me to write more so if you liked it please let me know:)

#ivar the boneless #ivar fanfic #ivar x you #vikings #viking fanfic #close call #reader saves #poison #poisoned #self insert #ivar x reader #ivar x oc #slave girl #slave reader #reward

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kingofbr00klyn · 4 years ago

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Newsies prompts! Yeah! Um... 1. Jack being a big brother to Race. 2. Crutchie and Racetrack getting into some trouble together. 3. Jack and Spot caring for some of the littles. Pick one or write them all idc. Can’t wait to read!

Hi this took me like 4 days to write, I thought it was longer than that but okay, I have loads of other stuff in the works, this is just the first one I finished. Sorry for the wait. So this is for the prompt we’re Crutchie and Race get into trouble.

I tried to mix both 1992sies and livesies in this, but I don’t think it really comes across. Also, this story is ever so slightly exaggerated, but oh well. But it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, so this probably isn’t the best.

This will also be found on my AO3 account.

"Remind me ta never listen ta you again."

"How was I'se suppost ta know this would 'appen?"

"Well, I dunno. But now I’m in trouble because a’ summing I didn’t even do."

“Oh c’mon! Nuthin’ bad happened. I came out worse than you did. You get to go home scot-free.”

“But still. This is all your fault an’ I’m gonna make sure everyone knows it.”

"Wow, Crutch, whatta' way to throw a pal under da bus."

"You'se deserve it."

Race rolled his eyes and sulked further down into his chair, only to regret it when the hard plastic rubbed uncomfortably into his back. He glanced at his companion, who looked just about as shit as he felt. Crutchie kept nervously running a hand through his hair and fidgeting with the helm of his shirt, he looked like someone who had just been caught doing something illegal. Oh wait, that's because he had. Let's take a step back, shall we?

2 hours earlier.

Crutchie stood outside his door step, awaiting Race's arrival. The two had decided to spend the evening together, since none of their other friends were available. Race had said he would pick him up at 6. After Crutchie's watch ticked 6:15, Race's old TP Cruiser pulled up. He wore a bright, cheeky grin as he leaned over to open the passenger side door. "Get in loser, we're going shopping!" Crutchie gleefully obliged, grabbing his crutch and sliding into the front seat.

"Are you ready for the funnest night of yer life?" Race asked, a unlit cigar hanging loosely from his mouth.

Crutchie laughed. "We'se just goin' ta the diner on 4th, ain't we?"

"Nope," Race grabbed something from the cupholder beside him and handed it to Crutchie. "Just got this from my guy. Thought we'd treat ourselves tonight." It was a fake ID.

Antonio Higgings

11/12l1997

XXX XXXX XXX

XX/XX/XX

"Yer guy?" Crutchie snorted, handing the card back. "You'se mean Albert."

"Maybe I do. Anyway, I'm low on cigs and shit, so I thought we'se stop by a corner shop and see how well this baby works." Starting the engine, Race pulled out of Crutchie's drive and set off for the nearest place that would give them what they wanted.

"What if we'se get caught? I don't wanna be done just because you'se got a nicotine addiction." Crutchie offered, messing with the diles for the radio.

"Then I punch Albert in the face," Race resorted. That drew a snicker from the blonde. "But seriously, don't worry 'bout it. Everthin's gonna be a-okay!"

Spolier altert; it wasn't.

After 10 or so minutes of driving, Race pulled to a stop and poorly parked the car. "Eh, good enough." He got out, with Crutchie tailing right behind him.

"You don't gotta come in. Ya know, cuz yer so scared of gettin' caught." The taller boy mocked.

Crutchie retaliated by hitting Race in the leg with his crutch. "I'm comin' wit' cha so you don't get punched in the face." Race forged offence, but waved off the comment.

The shop was small, just your regular off-licence, cheap booze with an even cheaper taste, the perfect thing to fuel Race's needs. A little bell rang as they opened the door, there weren't many people inside the shop, Crutchie noted the few middle aged men who were likely in there for similar reasons as themselves. Race swaggered to the front counter, an air of confidence around him. The shop clerk, a young man with a stoic expression, rolled his eyes at the tall blonde.

"What can I get you?" The clerk's tone was as cheerful as expected.

Race grinned cockily. "A smile would be a start, sweetheart," The shop clerk didn't respond, but continued to glare the boy down. "Okay then… A box o' ya finest Corona's and summa that scotch ya got up there." Race slapped $50 on the counter, along with his fake ID.

The clerk picked the card up, eying it suspiciously. Crutchie had a feeling this wouldn’t end well. “Yah think you’re funny, kid? Think I don’t know what a fake ID looks like?” The clerk said. “I’m gonna have to call the cops, you know.”

Race’s expression floored. Disbelief and fear quickly made itself at home. Crutchie felt a similar dread rise up in his stomach, he looked to Race for an inkling of what to do next, but the tall boy just continued to stare dumbly. Until he finally said, “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill Albert.”

As it turns out, the shop had an undercover officer outside the shop to deal with instances like this. The clerk called him in, and he escorted Crutchie and Race to the local station. Luckily, they had pretty much just been given a slap on the wrist and a call home. Except, since this wasn’t Race’s first offence, so he had also been slapped with a $50 fine.

The boys anxiously awaited the arrival of the parents. Race had already had a million and one messages from his brother, Jack. The sonva’ was having a field day with this. Text after text about how much trouble Race would be in, how he was grounded and how much shit Jack’s going to give him for this. Race ignored his brother, instead opting for spamming Albert with a variety of angry messages in all caps.

GottaGoFast - RedHeadHoe

19:05

GottaGoFast: ALBERT FUCKING DASILVA

GottaGoFast: U FUCKING BITCH

GottaGoFast: IM SO GOING TO KILL U

RedHeadHoe: ???

GottaGoFast: im at the police station

RadHeadHoe: oh what did u do now???

RedHeadHoe: OH

RedHeadHoe: YOU GOT CAUGHT

RedHeadHoe: HA

GottaGoFast: YEAH AND ITS ALL UR FAULT

RedHeadHoe: how is it my fault???

GottaGoFast: BECAUSE UR THE 1 WHO GAVE ME THE ID

RedHeadHoe: dude u didnt have to use it

RedHeadHoe: also i dont make them so it aint my fault

RedHeadHoe: blame my guy

GottaGoFast: ur guy?????

RedHeadHoe: ye

RedHeadHoe: skittery

GottaGoFast: ok but ur still dead

RedHeadHoe: cool

GottaGoFast: dentys gonna be here soon so gotta go

RedHeadHoe: good luck my dude

GottaGoFast: fuck u

RedHeadHoe: :)

Race slipped his phone into his pocket, just in time to see some familiar faces walk though the station door. Bryan Denton, Race’s foster father, walked up to the receptionist desk, before being pointed towards where the boys were sitting. Race looked at Crutchie, before straightening his back and putting on his most charming smile. "Heya Denty!" Race beamed, hoping to the gods above that this would go in his favour. Bryan didn't look particularly mad, but Denton never really got mad. It was like the man was incapable of it, it was great, and Race had done a lot of things that would cause any parent to flip their shit.

"Race," Bryan started, calm and collected as always."What were you thinking?" Okay, maybe it wasn't as great as Race thought, Denton's tranquill state was quite unsettling at the moment, Race had no idea what he was thinking.

"We'se just wanted to have a bit a' fun, ya know, teenage stuff," The blonde rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Did they'se tell ya 'bout da fine?"

"Yeah, they told me over the phone," Denton said. "I'll pay it and then we'll go home. Jack's waiting for us in the car.”

Race rolled his eyes. "Oh yay."

Crutchie didn't really pay much attention to the scene in front of him, he was too caught up in his own head. Fear and worry filled his thoughts, his grandmother wasn't the most forgiving then it came to things like this. Crutchie remembered once when he was 7 and snuck out of his room in the middle of the night to get one of the freshly baked cookies his grandmother had made that day, the elderly woman had found out about his midnight snack and boy was there hell to pay. She wasn't particularly mean or nasty, she could just be strict at times.

Times like these, Crutchie thought as he saw his grandmother barrel towards him with an expression that would make the toughest of men wet themselves. "Charles Andrew Morris! You are in so much trouble, young man!" Oh no, she used his full name. He really was a goner.

"Race, I don't think I'm comin' outta this alive…” Crutchie said.

Race snorted. "Don't worry, my dude, I got this." Crutchie didn't have time to ask what 'this' was, as Race stepped in front of him and greeted his grandmother.

"Mrs Morris, so good ta see ya 'gain," Race started. That diverted the woman from her path of destruction, as she instead gave the blonde a striking glare. The Italian tried not to shrink under her gaze, opting to continue with his sentence. "So um, ya see, Ma'am. It wasn't actually Crutchie's fault, it was mine. So, err, don't punish him for my mistake."

What?

Crutchie was in complete disbelief. And he wasn't the only one, Bryan shared a similar expression. While Race was a good friend, he was also a bit of an asshole, so him taking all the blame for this (even though it was his fault), was a surprise.

Crutchie’s grandmother eyed the boy suspiciously, before she turned on her heels and walked away. “Come on, Charlie, it’s time to go home.”

Crutchie was slightly dumbfounded, but didn’t question as he hugged Race. “Thanks man.”

Race winked and smiled. “No problem, Crutch. Text me if you ain’t dead!”

“Will do!”

RiceCrutchies - Racer

21:35

RiceCrutchies: Guess who aint dead :)))

Racer: yayyyy

Racer: so what happened

RiceCrutchies: Gran wasn’t very happy but she wasnt too mad

RiceCrutchies: Im grounded for 2 weeks tho

Racer: oh well at least we had 1 last night of fun before that

RiceCrutchies: Yea so how’d it go with Denton???

Racer: not too bad

Racer: im also grounded but they took my cigs at the police station so i need to get more from Albert

RiceCrutchies: You think you would have learnt your lesson but ok

Racer: 👌

Racer: i gotta go crutch see you in school???

RiceCrutchies: Yeah, see you and try not to do anything illegal between then

Racer: no promises

RiceCrutchies: 🤦‍

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spacemilkies · 5 years ago

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serendipity || captain allen x reader

for @thedevianthunterrk800 who unknowingly dragged me into the pits of hell dau. now i can’t play or watch footage without focusing in on this man.

“I’m sorry, ma’am but no press are allowed on the premise without strict permission.”

The accusation nearly stuns you at first, before you realize in fact that you never quite shed your work clothing before venturing out. Not that it did much good now that you were caught red handed, you plucked your badge from you neck and offered a placating smile to the receptionist android.

“Sorry, I’m here on personal business not journalistic ventures.” As if to prove your point, you rose the hand clutching the bag of take out. “Just a wife bringing dinner to her husband.”

The android was quiet, her gaze giving you another look over. No doubt cross referencing your heart rate to your words. Perhaps had your husband not been employed at such a high risk job, a simple face recognition scan could have cleared you. But it seemed not even matrimony came with any real civil benefits.

The android completed its assessment.

“I see. Please-”

“Hey, what are you doing here so late?”

A visible shudder of relief ripped across your skin as you whipped around. Appearing to be finishing up for the evening, Hank was looked about what you expected him to look first thing in the morning- ready to go home.

It’s easy to offer a smile in disguise of pity. “Figured if he wasn't going to make an effort for dinner, I could at least keep him from starving.”

“Yeah, is that why he’s so cranky? Missing one too many meals?”

Hank’s years of ‘facility’ comradery with your husband managed to bleed into a promising friendship of your own. It was a specific type of working relationship that only your hardened husband could achieve. Frankly most of his more social interactions were bridged by your efforts in some way or fashion.

“Trying to keep him fed is a full time job.”

“Dealing with him period is a fucking career,” he muttered under his breath. Gratefully, Hank waved off the android. “Wife of the fucking SWAT captain, relax would you.”

“I honestly have no idea where he is but we all know his second wife is his desk.”

The obvious joke resonated differently with you than he likely intended for it to. In truth, your husband, his desk … and yourself had a bit of a polymourous relationship, to put it lightly. Not that you would embarrass David by bringing that up now.

Maybe over drinks on night.

Grateful for the unexpected intervention, you took advantage of the reprieve to escape through the security gates while you could. Waving to Hank, you bid him a good night.

“The fourth floor isn’t that big. He can’t hide forever.”

The few officers who did recognize you bid you a mix of greetings and farewells from those eager to return to their own families. As you climbed levels however, the gestures became more strict in the form of salutes and slim smiles that oozed stress.

Rolling your eyes to the roof of the elevator, you began to pray that it wasn't a premonition of what to expect when you finally discovered your husband. You reminded yourself that you were merely there to deliver a meal, not stir up anything that could be settled at home.

Your marriage worked this long because you respected those boundaries. The same ones that had been built without your knowledge back in university.

By the relaxed posture of his assistant it was safe to assume he wasn’t in his office. Rachel confirmed as much with a quick wave.

“Captain Allen is in a meeting, ma’am.”

“Thats fine. Is his office open? Just dropping off dinner.”

She eyed the bag as if it was a saving grace. No doubt a prayer she’d made earlier in the day to try and aleve whatever symptoms were aggravating her boss’ nerves.

If only it was so easy.

“I can get that for you.”

The panel in front of the door switches from red and blue, granting you access. You find yet another reason to send the young woman a nice gift basket. As if all the years of putting up with your husband didn’t earn her a vacation overseas.

Frankly, she might never look back.

“Thank you, Nancy.”

His office is as bleak and bland as the last time you’d entered it. Not even the wealth of his awards managing to permeate the walls. A few of the important credentials made the cut out of sheer necessity. You’d managed to break up the rest of the wall with two scenery photos.

And that was it.

For someone who practically made his office his home, the lack of comfortably baffled you.

Placing the bags on the corner of his desk, you made yourself comfortable in his chair. Your job title aloe made snooping both enticing and forbidden. A thin lace of trust had been bestowed upon you given your connection to one of the largest media networks in the city. While your husband’s authority gave you more liberties than most it didn’t mean it couldnt be ripped away.

So against your journalist instinct, you kept your hands to yourself while you twiddled with a simple app on your phone. Fortunately, your husband didn’t keep you waiting long before you heard Nancy sharp cry of warning.

“Oh! Wait sir, your-”

You don’t know who is more surprised when you husband enters his office unaware. His shoulders stiffen briefly before he recognizes your silhouette by his desk, Nancy’s warning long forgotten. He looked like he was ready to chew out his next victim of the day and you could only snort in amusement.

“Really, David.”

He’s wearing your favorite hoody of his- one you know come with a plethora of replacements but not a single is ever given to you despite your insistence. You’ve taken to wearing them briefly after laundry loads, while the house is to yourself. By the time he makes it home, its nestled comfortably in his drawer as if it was never touched.

A secret compromise.

The door slides shut behind him as he approaches the desk. Affections pleasantly not forgotten as he leans down to peck at your cheek,“Its late, you didn't have to come by.”

“Well, I was hungry too. Figured you wouldn't want your food to get cold. Reheating meat will sometimes make it tough.”

David took the opportunity to peek into the paper bags, a hint of a smile triggering wider one for you when he recognized one of his favorites. You watched quietly as he unpacked the food, not missing how he arranged things carefully to keeps your safely confined while setting aside his own.

It was an easier dismissal when you were expecting it.

The hard edge of your neglected badge bit into your skin as you adjusted yourself against the desk, “Trying to get rid of me so soon, captain. I didn’t even get to opportunity to ask my questions yet.”

Unraveling the warmth of a freshly baked roll, your husband gave you an unamused grimace before taking a bite from the buttery loaf.

“The SWAT team is not currently accepting any questions nor has any scheduled plans to council the press for ongoing operations.”

Your smile is as dangerous as your job implies, “So you guys are working on something top secret.”

“Would be home if it wasn’t.”

That was a lie and you both knew it. David would always find something to keep him occupied in his career. It had built him up and functioned as his stability. You were mere crutches on the sidelines waiting until you were needed.

As simple as it would be to challenge the claim, you thought better of it. Instead you continued to eat up time, relaxed comfortably in his chair while your husband was distracted with his meal. It seemed that his hunger had gotten to a point where he was reluctant to entertain anything that isn't satisfying his stomach.

“Strip was sold out, so I hope skirt is okay?”

Your husband wasn’t huge on grilling like some of the neighbors in your area but he did appreciate a good steak. Sometimes if you were lucky, he would even surprise you with a nice dinner in the kitchen on the rare occasions he actual beat you home or the scarcer days off.

Using his teeth, David fought the crackle of the plastic wrapped utensil set,” Smells good, baby. Thank you.”

His obvious appreciation warmed you enough to coax a bit of boldness out of you. Walking your fingertips closer to the bag, you tugged it closer. “The renovators called back. They can fit us in next weekend to resurface the shower.”

Your house wasn’t old but there had been some changes you’d promised yourself when you’d first moved it. Earlier in your marriage, you had hoped to make a couples project out of it. But as the years passed, you began to understand that if you didn't get someone else on the job it wasn't going to get done.

Carefully pulling your own box free, you kept your voice even as your poked through your meal. “I’m having my mom come meet them that Thursday so they can do a final walkthrough for a quote. I’ll be home for the other days.”

“You’re not worried she won't change your plans?”

Twirling your pasta around your fork, you gave his question a thoughtful pause. It had crossed your mind. Your home wasn’t the first thing she had tried to intervene in. But you had made your own wishes noted in the initial meeting. Having your mother there was just supervision at this point.

“Nah, I'll be there for all the real work. I really just need her to keep Kaius calm.”

Retired from service but certainly not an impression on his age, the eight year old shepard still took his training seriously at home. It made it difficult to let anyone into the house without one of you there to assure him it was okay. The task was still difficult for you without David’s overwhelming presence to settle the canine.

Resting his hip against the corner of the desk, your husband became visibly more relaxed into the conversation as he balanced the bottom of his togo box on his hand. “I don’t mind if he comes to work. He should be fine in my office for a day.”

You shrugged,”It's all worked out.”

At most, you were expecting one human to supervise a few androids. As impersonal as it made the job, it certainly didnt put a damper on efficiency. You expected nothing less than the projected project.

He surprised you by leaning in then to press a quick kiss to your lips, a sneaky swipe of tongue catching the splash of sauce previously unknown to you. When you look up, he was watching you with that analytical look.

“I know what you’re doing.”

Caught, you could only smile sheepishly as you pointed the fork in his direction. “This is nice, don’t ruin it.”

Humming thoughtfully, your husband eventually returned to his own meal.

David finished well before fullness crept in for you, his own haste favoring time over taste. But he was getting his nutrition so you found it hard to complain.

A few tedious comments came to mind but none of them felt strong enough to tether him to a conversation. Accepting the time you got gratefully, you began putting away the leftovers to take home.

“I’m off tomorrow so you don’t need to tip toe. I’ll leave the light on above the stove.”

Sometimes you found it funny how much your friends raves about the life you must have being married to a SWAT captain. Overwhelmed by their own fantasies of rugged encounters and frantic passion.

It was true on occasion. There were times that the stress of the job encouraged his hands to be a little more rough. Or time constraints found you bent over something convenient with your panties jerked to the side.

As thrilling as it was, the novelty wore off quicker than it did in literature.

There wasn’t a day you weren’t thankful of how well your husband aged, you just wanted more opportunities to appreciate it.

You rise from your seat, expecting a final kiss of gratitude before you went on your way.

You hasn’t realized your eyes had slid closed until they were opening in confusion at the touch of his thumb against your cheek. Against your better judgement, you leaned into the brief show of affection, lips parting to accept the pad of his finger.

You know it won’t lead to much but the small stirrings it causes is worth the brevity. You crave his closeness whether he’s away like any wife would. But loving David Allen takes the punch of out love and jackhammers a new meaning into it.

“”Thank you.”

The sincerity of it pressures your heart and your eyes close voluntarily this time, just wishing he would meet your expectation.

There is a pause, the silence tarnished by your audible sigh. Part of it is drawn back in a sharp gasp when his nose bumps against your own, then his lips find yours.

The kiss is slow and measured, familiar even as you dare to run your palms down his front. His stomach curls under your touch, the lean muscle jumping slightly as your fingers challenge the hem of his pants.

Swallowing, you taunt further with another tug. Venerability paints itself a lovely shade against your skin, coating you in a rosy blush. This wasn’t your arriving plan. But years have taught you that planning ahead rarely went well with David.

Carefully, you reach up and thumb the curve of his lower lip and draw him even closer. Even breaths waft over your face. Measured well, despite the proposition offered before him.

In a mess of tongue and teeth, you whisper his name and teeter his resolve in the same breath.

It has been a very long time since he’s humored an excursion like this and you’re patting yourself on the back for taking the chance.

His mouth teases the skin at the nape of your neck and you wonder how far he plans to take this. His nose brushes against your ear next, nuzzling just under the curve where he knows you like it best.

Your shirt rides up as he rolls his body against you, his hands quick to tend to your warm skin. His thumb teases the underside of your bra and it’s difficult not to let your mind wander.

Chest rising and falling in erratic intervals, you finally put a voice behind your desires.

“Will fuck me here?”

David breathes in sharply then and for a moment you’re worried he’ll pull back to he senses. Your heart flutters nervously, awaiting a curt dismissal. But then a knee nudges firmly between your thighs and you find yourself biting your cheek to contain your grin.

He continues to mouth at your neck while his hands answer your question, quickly and efficiently working at your belt. The hand not holding you in place slips under the hem of your pants with practiced ease.

It will have to be quick but part of the thrill is inherit in the act itself. You know you’re already wet before his fingers reach their destination, his thumb flicking against your clit as his fingers curl into your sticky wetness.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, kitten? That’s why you came so late at night. Hoping to bride me into a quick fuck for your troubles?”

Part of you wished that had been your intention. You would have tried a hell of a lot harder if you’d known he’d be this willing.

Sorry, Nancy.

There was always something sinfully dangerous about being taken in his office. To think the place where the city puts most of its trust will be defiled by your marital affairs will never fail to get you in the mood.

David catches you before you can get careless, moving the food a safe distance away from your body before pressing you firmer against the desk. He doesn’t pay much attention to your breast but the stimulation from being pressed into the desktop makes up for it. Nothing else matters however when he’s dragging down his pants and your own with hast movements and lining himself up.

It’s a slow sink- deep as he allows you time to open up for him.

The situation doesn’t allow for it to be drawn out much longer than that. The frivolous teasing prior had already eaten into your limited time of unsuspicion. Not to mention any concerning noises that might permeate the door.

David does the sound control for you, risking quiet grunts as he digs his grip into the curve of your hip. His pace is slow but firmly backed by his weight as he quite literally fucks the air right out of your lungs, thrust near hard enough to shake the desk.

He lifts his hips slightly, just enough too prod for the right angle, hitting that same spot again and again as you grip desperately at his arms. You return the favor, stealing his groans as you kiss back as vehemently as his hips grind into you. It only takes one good strategic thrust to capsize you under your simmering climax.

You remember a time, fumbling in college when you had to remind him to be wary- to pull out. Even early in your marriage you’d been cautious.

Now, it was welcomed. The fact of not trying to try bleeding into a kink to take off the edge of pending results. You’d decided mutually to accept a child if the possibility arose but you wouldn’t make an intentional effort.

Nearing your forties now, it wasn’t a forgotten proposition but it hardly factored into your mindset. It’s no where near innocent as your ankles dig firmly into his lower back, drawing him closet and locking him in.

Your husband’s hips stuttered briefly as his fingers reassessed their grip before he resumed his pace with firmer thrusts. Each one bouncing off the round of your backside. The hand at the base of your spine keeps you anchored- not that you’d made any attempt to disagree with anything he was giving you.

He seemed to reward you for that, a lazy thumb counting your vertebrae in its travels, eliciting a quivering pleasure.

“Maybe this is the key, huh? You’re always so much more receptive when there is the potential for audience.”

He knows and fuck, you miss that voice. The way it rumbles deep in his chest before tumbling out in timber.

“Of course, I’d never let them see. But I’d be happy to show off the results, hmm?”

His hands slid to your flank before curling around to flatten against the plane of your belly. It stays there, stroking the pseudo curve implanted in his head.

He encourages you to grind back into his quickening thrusts, the fingers at your hip dragging you back in assistance. Whining, you dip your chest and arch your back. Your actions echo your thoughts. Faster. More. Deeper. Please

“That's what you want, right? For me to fill you up, baby?”

God… you drool around the thought. Your words fumbling around gurgles as you attempt to collect yourself enough to stop moaning and properly respond. Blood rushed in your ears and floods down your body. Working yourself up from your toes, you flex them, pushing your weight to your feet and lifting. It offers you a better advantage to pushing back into each eager thrust.

Rather than praise your efforts, your husband only returns your gesture by carding his fingers through your hair. Tightening. Shoving down.

“Fuck, yes, Dav-“ You hiss when he knocks particularly hard against your cervix to which he mends with an apologetic kiss to the back of your head. His thrust slow marginally, just enough to regain control before he’s coaxing you again with a nip to the shell of your ear.

“Tell me, kitten.”

You reach for something-not sure of what. Neither does he it seems, but his hand finds yours anyway to which you curl them both the fabric of your chest.

“I want it all-please.”

He jerks you back-once...twice before suddenly you’re overwhelmed with the weight of him on top and the pressure of him inside.

You lie there for a short time, uncomfortable, but too laced by exhaustion to do much else. The feeling of fatigue crept onto you both with out warning, using the disguise of passion to worm its way inside.

He’s not perfect. Neither yourself or this marriage. But where most had doomed you both to fail, mutual perseverance told the rest to go fuck themselves.

There wasn’t much else either of you could offer to the remaining hours of the night. With that resolve, your slow rhythmic strokes against your husband’s back came to a halt, slightly rousing him in the process.

“Mhmm, come home with me, yeah?”

He heaves a sigh but you know you have him.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

#detriot become human #captain allen x reader #captain allen #dbd imagines #captain allen imagines #captain allen headacanons #my contribution to the dau #see i wrote a thing

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rorynne · 6 years ago

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Reckless

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky Barnes/Barton!Reader

Summary: You aren't really known for making the best life choices. But maybe Doctor Barnes can convince you to be a little less risky?

Warnings: Doctor!AU, mild swearing, vague depictions of injury and general doctoring.

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: This was inspired by two asks sent to @bucky-plums-barnes that i just really wanted to see made into a fic. So here it is, unbeta’d and barely proof read. Dont say i didnt warn you

You weren’t hurt, sore, maybe, but you were not hurt. You winced as your friend hit a pothole in just the wrong way, okay maybe you were a little more than sore, bruised. It wasn't even the worst thing you've done all week, you just... landed wrong, that's all. It's definitely not as bad as that time with the fire pokers. Natasha shot a frustrated glance at you in the rear view mirror as she drove, “Who the hell has the brilliant idea to jump off a two story building sober?”

“Clint dared me, what the hell was I supposed to do? Be a coward?” You defended as Natasha sent her poisonous glare to the man sitting in the passenger seat. A man who probably has collected as many scars and injuries as you have over the years, you two were not known for good decision making.

“Hey!” Clint threw his hands into the air, “Don't drag me into this I wasn't the one that jumped.”

“Yeah you did you went first!”

“Why do I associate with you two?” Natasha groaned as she pulled in front of the hospital. “Clint, carry them inside so I can find a place to park,” she ordered and Clint jumped into action, very carefully pulling you out of the back seat. You winced as a shock of pain pulsed through you when he touched your ribs, yeah, bruised.

The wait for the ER wasn’t nearly as long as you expected it to be, probably because Clint ended up carrying you into the hospital, alerting all of the nearby staff. It only took about ten minutes for your name to be called. A nurse forced you into a wheelchair as she seen you attempt to limp to the examination room, much to your dismay. She quickly got to work taking your vitals and taking you to get x-rays done before wheeling you into your examination room.

“Seriously, I think everyone is getting far too worked up about this, I feel fine,” you said to Clint and Natasha as you waited for the doctor.

“You didn't see how your head hit the pavement.” Clint said, making sure not to meet Natasha’s glare.

You threw your head back in frustration causing the dull ache in your head to explode into a burst of pain. You hissed, holding your head in one hand before finally adding, “Yea but it stopped bleeding, that's all that matters right? This is a complete waste of time.”

As if to answer your question, the exam room door opened, and in stepped a young doctor with steel blue eyes and brown hair tied into a messy man bun. Well damn, if the ER doctors were going to be this cute maybe it wasn't a waste of time. “When I seen ‘Barton’ on the chart I was expecting Clint’s name next to it. You didn't tell me there was two of them Natasha.” The doctor said, shaking his head as he looked at the charts.

“Hey, I already had my monthly visit to the ER, doc.” Clint protested before gesturing to you, “Now it's their turn.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow as he looked between the two of you, “There was far too much to unpack in that statement than we can get to today.” He sighed before sticking out his hand to you “I’m Doctor James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. I've already patched your brother up on a number of occasions. How are you feeling?”

You blinked once or twice before shaking his hand, “I feel fine, I’m just a little bruised is all. I promise you Dr. Barnes, these two are just overreacting.”

Bucky glanced at you incredulously before looking at Natasha who was thoroughly unamused at driving her friend to the ER at three in the morning. “Does a general disregard for their own health and safety run in the family?”

“No.” You and Clint answered in unison.

“Yes.” Natasha said, arms crossed.

Bucky sighed, “Well, you have two broken ribs according to the x rays, but your ankle isn't broken so that's a plus.” He shined a light into your eyes, causing you to wince in pain as your headache pulsed angrily. “Do you know what year it is, doll?”

You paused, distracted by the nickname, “Uh, what?”

“What year is it?”

You grew slightly distracted again as you noticed the sway of two dog tags hanging from his neck, “2019?” You almost guessed, forcing your attention back to his question.

He nodded at the answer, checking things off on his clipboard, “Any head pain, nausea, dizziness?”

“I hit my head on the pavement, Of course it hurts.” You shrugged, sounding a bit snippier than you intended. “I mean, yeah but I’m okay, I walked it off.”

He raised a concerned eyebrow as he moved to your ankle. “How did you even manage all of this?”

“Yes Y/N, Tell the nice doctor how this all happened.” Natasha frowned, leaning back into her seat. You flushed slightly as the ridiculousness of the plan set in.

“Well, I mean, Clint and I were watching some parkour videos, where people jumped off high ledges and stuff.” Bucky’s eyebrows shot up in horror as you started your story, completely distracted from treating you ankle. “So we tried jumping from the roof of our apartment building. Turns out it's harder than it looks.” He looked at you dumbstruck, before opening his mouth and closing it.

“You could have broken your neck and died. You're lucky that you're even sitting here for me to patch you up doll.” He frowned, as he started to wrap a bandage around your ankle. “You've got a sprained ankle, two broken ribs, and a concussion out of the deal. You shouldn't be so reckless.”

You winced as he tightened the wrapping, “I've walked away from worse. Normally I just don't bother coming in unless I don't stop bleeding, or something is bent wrong.”

“You shouldn't be walking at all,” he argued, growing slightly frustrated by your disregard for your health. “You could have seriously been hurt, and honestly you should be coming into the ER for much less than this.” You bit your lip at his pleading face, he looked like a kicked puppy as he scolded you for your recklessness. Did he really have any right to be this damn cute? The answer to that was no, but you sure as hell weren't complaining. “Next time you get hurt like this, promise me you aren't going to try to walk it off? I already know enough reckless punks to last me a lifetime.”

He looked at you with his kicked puppy face and you felt your stomach flutter. “I promise.” You mutter as he helped you up and handed you a set of crutches. Maybe coming to the ER wasn't so bad after all.

You started to become a regular face at the hospital, much to Bucky’s relief and dismay. As it turns out, you are more reckless than your brother, often finding yourself in Bucky’s exam room once or twice a week, each time earning a thorough scolding from him on making good choices. Every once in a while his lectures would be peppered with pet names and flirtatious remarks that sent your heart a flutter. When he wasn't available to take care of you, his friend Steve would make sure to patch you up then usually minus the scolding.

Slowly, Bucky started to expect you to come in on certain days, usually the weekend, late at night seemed to be when you had your brilliant daredevil ideas. When you came in at different times, the other doctors and nurses were all sure to let him know you were okay. He took solace in knowing that, as long as you were coming in, that meant you were at least breathing.

A solace that was cracked when one week, you just didn’t come in. No one had seen you, or Clint, all week causing Bucky to grow concerned. Had you just not gotten hurt? At this point he wondered if that were even possible for you. Had you fallen back into not going to the ER? That was possible, but you always seemed happy to be patched up by him, would you really just suddenly stop? Inevitably his mind fell to the worst possible outcome, one that Steve had to repeatedly remind him probably wasn't the case.

It only got worse when two more weeks passed without you showing up. Bucky felt like he was losing his mind. He was practically sick with worry, trying not to do something stupid himself, when the head nurse handed him a medical chart. “Your patient is in room three.” She smiled slyly before moving onto the next task in her day. His heart leapt to his throat when he seen the name on the chart.

The relief he felt seeing you as he opened the exam room door was unimaginable. You looked up at him sheepishly with a badly swollen wrist, He was just glad you weren't dead. “Where on earth have you been doll?” he asked, quickly getting to work on bandaging your sprained wrist.

“You kept telling me that I should be less reckless, so I decided to try it out.” You have a slight chuckle of a laugh and scrunched your nose before you continued. “Turns out it's boring.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You're gonna give me a heart attack doll. Do you know how worried I was not seeing you for three weeks?”

You stared at him biting your lip. “You know,” you said eventually, “there's other ways to be able to see me that don't require a trip to the hospital.”

He paused, looking up from bandaging your wrist before nodding and giving his flirtatious smirk. “Do you want to meet up for lunch this week doll?”

You grinned at his invitation. “Sounds like it'll be more fun than spraining my wrist trying to climb a wall.”

His jaw dropped. “You did what?!”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky #marvel fic #bucky x you #bucky x y/n

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oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch · 6 years ago

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“How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” Movie Review

It’s been 5 years since our screens were last graced with the presences of Hiccup and Toothless, the dynamic and impossible not to love duo of the How to Train Your Dragon films. At the end of How to Train Your Dragon 2, audiences were left off seeing Toothless taking position as the alpha of the dragons, and Hiccup accepting the call to be chief of Berk, as his father had wished him to be. With the beginning of The Hidden World, Berk has become the world’s first-ever dragon-Viking utopia, and Hiccup and friends conduct raids on armadas of ships, freeing all manner of dragons from captivity all across the world. But with the presence of a new night fury dragon, as well as a new enemy called Grimmel, Berk is once again in danger, the relationship at this series’ center is tested, and both Hiccup and Toothless must learn that eventually, some things must come to an end, as we learn to let go.

I’ve talked ad nauseum about the How to Train Your Dragon movies and what they mean to be both as a film lover and as a visual storytelling junkie, and I will continue to talk about them until the day I die. The first film is my favorite animated movie of all time (and rightfully so) with a brilliant script, astounding animation (especially for its time), one of the greatest animated film scores of all time, and a narrative that’s both sharply plotted and perfectly paced. The second HTTYD movie followed that up with a story that was more mature, if not quite as naturalistic in its dialogue and pacing, with animation that had advanced during that four-year wait to the height of its capabilities. The Hidden World, then, aims to be that rare trilogy capper that takes the series out on a high note, and for the most part, it does. I just wish the rest of the film, the stuff that wasn’t part of the finale, held up as well as the finale (and the other two movies) did.

See, I did like this film, but I wanted to love it. The adventures of Hiccup and Toothless are some of my favorites of all time, and while with that legacy comes (understandably) a lot of weight that may be difficult to hold, I’ve seen this series hold that weight before with ease. Those first two films have some of the most perfect pacing in any animated features, so the fact that the first two acts of this one are actually kind of dull apart from a handful of moments shared between the light fury and Toothless, as well as a barely 5 minute segment within the title location, is disappointing regardless of how well-animated the action and lighting is. Your mileage may vary on that front, but for me, things just seemed a little bit off what with the intro not including the usual title theme, or “this is berk” introduction by Hiccup until about 6 or 8 minutes in. Those two elements are not necessarily huge missteps for the film, but Dragon devotees like myself will notice their absence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from one to endorse pure fan-service as replacement or non-tertiary strengthener for narrative storytelling, but The Hidden World doesn’t quite have as many callbacks to the first or second films as it probably should when considering it’s meant to be the closer to a trilogy nearly ten years running.

In addition to this, whole swaths of the movie go by where not much actually happens at a plot level. Yes, the friendship between Hiccup and Toothless is tested, and Hiccup’s role as chief is challenged somewhat, but both of these things barely have any effect on the overall narrative as it stands. The large driving force of the plot is that Grimmel presents such a huge threat to Berk that they’ll have to relocate, and maybe the dragons will have to relocate too, but the threat he’s meant to represent honestly isn’t all that compelling. Grimmel’s character is not only under-written, but generically so, and doesn’t have anything quite as affecting to him on a character level as Drago being a fellow disabled person because of dragons in the second film. The script tries to do something with him that parallels a real-world anti-immigration allegory, but while the effort is notable, it ultimately feels underwritten, like they introduced the idea, but then didn’t really know where to go with it, and so it just fades into the background.

In fact, this movie has a character development issue that was bothering me for most of its runtime. Hiccup grows and learns something, but virtually no one else does. No one except Hiccup changes at all from the beginning to the end of the film, and while that’s all well and good that he undergoes a transformation (albeit only in one spoiler-ish respect) this time around, one of the greatest strengths of these movies is that most of the supporting characters change along with him, learning their own lessons along the way. The supporting characters in this movie, though, are relegated to small roles usually designed to deliver a low-level joke one too many times or scout something or tell Hiccup he’s better than his self-doubt. They’re no longer characters in their own right; they’re crutches by which to tell the story (apart from a couple of sweet Stoick flashback scenes) and move the plot along, which is sad considering how richly detailed they’ve been in the last two installments.

There is enough to like about the film, however, that despite being kind of let down by it overall, I still had a good time watching it play out. The animal courtship between the light fury and Toothless is one of the strongest aspects of the movie, and plays out in often simultaneously hilarious and adorable fashion. There are some new things she teaches him that come in very handy during the film’s thrilling (if a bit generic) final sequence, and the results are truly marvelous to behold. While she remains unnamed for the entirety of the film, she will be one of the characters audiences walk away remembering the most. The movie is also fantastically animated, and while The Hidden World plays it pretty safe in terms of shot selection (seriously, where did all the rest of the wide shots and flying intensity go?), what’s up on screen is incredibly detailed and looks gorgeous in its coloration and lighting design, particularly in that 5 minute title sequence. The hidden dragon world is a stunning piece of animation that will go down as one of the greatest ever committed to film. It may feel a bit strange to say that about an animated feature, but if you’ve seen the other two films, you know I don’t exaggerate. Some reviews are also touting John Powell’s score as a major strength, and while it does feel weaker than the other two overall (and doesn’t really enhance the film much), I can almost tell what they mean when listening to it on its own.

The Hidden World’s greatest strength, though, is its finale. Sure, the first two acts may be a bit dull and underdeveloped, but once this movie decides to turn on the emotional gauge, it dials it up to 100 and never looks back. Despite feeling like the overall movie wasn’t quite as good as the first two, this finale is by far the best since the original. Writer and director Dean DeBlois has gone on record several times as saying he never wanted to make anything more than a trilogy for this series, and for that level of integrity, I respect him immensely. Film trilogies are quite rare in this modern, franchise-crazed movie landscape, and to get a finale that makes it so hard to say goodbye to these characters and this world despite its gradually diluting quality, is something truly special and remarkable. (Yes, I was absolutely in tears by the end, and you will be too.)

Overall, How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World is a heartfelt and sincere, but somewhat flawed finale to what remains a great motion picture trilogy. While I found the supporting cast underwritten and the villain uncompelling, I still had fun watching the friendship between Hiccup and Toothless be tested, and seeing where the characters ended up. The first two acts are really just fine (if not super affecting), and it may be the weakest of all three so far, but this trilogy conclusion also has some of the best moments of the whole overall set, not the least of which is its grippingly emotional finale.

I have loved getting to watch these movies over the past 9 years. I have loved growing with them and re-watching them in anticipation of each entry. I have loved taking this journey which has brought me such joy, laughter, and at times, wonderful sorrow. It is bittersweet for me to say goodbye. Farewell, citizens and dragons of Berk. It has been an honor watching you.

I’m giving “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” a 7.8/10.

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tijuana-blues · 8 years ago

Text

I waited until i got to work to type this.

The end of this month crosses the 1 year mark. only one year ago my world was completely different, and on the Verge of Collapse. A little backstory is needed before i continue.

Yesterday was a normal Tuesday for me. Work didnt stress me, no problems arose. My parents texted me and my brother to eat steak for Dinner. The Food was delicious, and i was preparing to head home, hit a Nice Big Dab, play a round of Smite, and hit the sack, seeing as how i hadnt slept in over 24 hours, and the only thing fueling me was the Gram of Coke i bought on Monday lol.

So as i Get up to Put away my dishes and say goodbye, i get a FaceBook Message. Its my Cousin, Isaiah.

He says he got into an Argument with his dad and got kicked out. He needed somewhere to sleep for the night.

Sure, I tell him. I cant just ignore him if he has nowhere to go. He meets me at my house 5 Minuets later with a backpack full of beer, a bottle of Vodka, and half a loaf of bread and sandwhich meats. My Cousin is crazy lmao, he has the Apache Blood in him more than me. Anyway, since hes staying, i ask if he can find some Wax, so i wouldnt be taking from my Brothers Stash. We meet up a half hour later and pick it up.

so were in my garage, passing the rig back and forth while i Showed him how Smite Worked. And then suddenly he pulls a rolled up baggie out his pocket.

A rolled white Baggie full of powder.

“well we can finish this off, then. since youre letting me Crash here.”

Im not one to ask for payment to crash at my place, but i wasnt gonna say no either lol.

he pours it out on the glass i had been using myself and began to chop it fine with the razor blade i used too.

i had taken a couple pretty good sized dabs in quick order, so i was pretty toasted when he handed me the glass and rolled up dollar. I only saw the 2 lines he had cut on it, so i just assumed he cut two for both of us and i was going first. So i just aim the dollar at the line on the right and Snort away, dragging the dollar quickly, then my Nostril Burst into Flame. I had made a mistake, he cut one line for Me from the PILE on the left.

The PILE i just Tornado’ed up my nose, and was now drinking water to keep my throat from going numb from the river of coke mucus running down it. I hear my Cousin laughing next to me.

“youre a maniac, Cuz! you railed that whole Fat ass pIle!”

Well Fuck. so much for sleeping. Lighting Coursed through my Veins 5 minuets later, and i started drinking Beers to fight the Drip.

Now Isaiah told me that it was Good Shit, but i hardly take his word for it Nowadays. hes off mark most of the Time. Not this time, Though.

15 Minutes Later im Chainsmoking Cigarettes out front of my Driveway Drinking beer and my Jaw was shaking in my Head.

You know its Good Shit when it makes someone who spent the last 24 hours doing Coke often, gives him the Jabber Jaw.

me and Isaiah just began to talk bullshit into the NIght. at Around Midnight he was talking about a girl he knew for awhile now liking him. And him liking her too but he didnt think a Relationship would be good at the Time.

Then Youre Face appeared in my Head. Like it always does. I havent Gone a day yet where i dont see you in my head.

I dont know what caused this, Perhaps it was the Coke in my System with the Beer. Or Maybe it made me finally push past my Insecurities.

i Began to talk about how i Felt the Same, how i couldnt really talk to other women or really want to because of the Luggage i was Still Carrying with My Ex, Maria.

And from there i began to talk and Talk and Talk. I couldnt Stop, the Words i had been saying in my head Every day this Past Year came out. I sat in my Garage all night Long, Until 5:00 AM, Talking to Isaiah About Her.

I didnt hold back, and surprised myself as my eyes stayed dry and my Voice Stone Cold.

I told HIm about How every Woman i ever Dated All Cheated on Me and Left me without a Second Glance. About How My First Girlfriend Megan roped me into a 3 year Lie and ruined my trust in people. I talked about how the girls i dated afterwards all did the same thing, and how i wished i was joking to him.

I told him about how i blamed myself for each failed relationship, and how id spend nights trying to figure out a way to fix myself. How i felt like i wasnt meant to be Happy with anyone and how i stuffed it all down deep and dealt with it only in my most private moments.

...And Then i told him about How I Met her in my Junior Year of High School. The Class was Anatomy, a class full of 24 teenagers with the worlds Laziest Teacher. It was the First Day, and I walked in to a semi empty classroom with kids walking around, picking out a seat for the rest of the semester. the desks all faced forward, in groups of twos in four rows across. I took a seat on the outside Left side around the Middle. I just dropped my Bag and sat in my Seat, waiting for the class to start, checking my phone every now and Again.

And the seats began to fill up, the Desk next to me taken by a Tall Nerdy looking kid with blonde hair and Garth Glasses, A KId i Befriended. Daniel Butttruck. Thats not how you spell the last name but thats how it sounds lol. So i named him Butt Truck and thats his name to this day lol.

The Chair in front of Daniel on the right was taken by a Friend of Daniels, A glasses clad Girl name Aly, And all you need to know about her is that she has a IQ just North of a Bedroom Slipper.

And lastly, A Girl In crutches slowly approached the chair in front of me, and slid into the Chair as the class started. She had a big black velcro Boot strapped to her Leg, and it stuck out into the walkway on our left a bit. She had Dark Hair that was cut into a really cute short style. At first i didnt really notice her until a few weeks into the semester where the Teacher flipped the front two desks around, making Pods of 4. So Now She Faced me and Aly faced Dan on the right.

Thats When i noticed her.

She had Brown Eyes that shone slightly, like Fine Wood Tarnished to a Dark Brown Mixed with Lighter Browns. Her nose was a small little Button Nose between her prominent Cheekbones that raised when she smiled. She didnt Wear much Makeup, or at least looked like she didnt. I remember to this day about how i would see her smile and laugh a bit as we all got comfortable as a group, me cracking Jokes and being dumb some days, with Days. As time passed i began to Notice her more. I began picking her out in the hallways as i walked to class. Sometimes I would say Hi and see her reaction.She was like me in some ways, wasnt a morning person, and had the same sense of Humor. I remember the time Dan Told us about how he Broke his Leg at Blizzcon.

Yeah, if youre not 12 years old, Dan was the Kid who Broke his Leg in like 2006 at Blizzcon Dancing like a Zombie. He was on Tosh.O or was going to be? ill ask him next time i see him lol. Anyway, hes telling us this story and Maria and I are Freaking Out because we realized he is Internet Famous, and Laughed Like Crazy.

Soon enough, I went from saying hi when i saw her to stopping by her morning class to say hi and chat, since my morning class was down the hall from hers, then sometimes wed walk toward our next class. Mind You, i Was a Junior at 17-going on 18, and Maria was two years younger than me. I never tried to flirt with her, but i enojoyed talking to her. I remember clearly One Winter Morning as i walked in from the Bus Lanes to my Morning Government Class, I see her standing by her Morning classroom, i dont remember what it was. She had her phone and was tapping away on it. I quickened my Pace as i passed her, and called out, “Maria!” she popped her head up and looked at me, and i Flipped her off. She gave a look of Confusion and laughed, walking into her classroom as the bell rang. I remember giggling to myself as i sat down, then asking myself, “Why the fuck did i do that for?? Idiot!”

That was the beginning of my Senior Year, Graduated 2011. We didnt have much contact after i Graduated, while i did the little schooling i did do, and work at that God Awful Produce Factory that first year out of High School.It wasnt until about a year or so later, when i started my job at Wal-Mart and Moved in with Christian. i remember it being Spring When i Saw Her Again. I Was collecting carts to put back in the cart corral, when i heard a Girls Voice Call my Name out in the Parking Lot.

I look out towards Barros Pizza in the plaza and i saw her Again.

It was a Bright Sunny Day, Not too Hot yet in the Summer. Her Hair had grown a bit longer, but still had its shape. She wore a Bright Yellow SunDress with Sunflowers on it. I remember how Cute i thought it was on her. I remember this moment so clearly because it was in that moment i felt something inside my heart. Like a Spark running through it.

I smiled and walked out to meet her, she had two of her other friends with her, they had been eating at Barros. Maria Hugged me and Asked me how i had been, and i told her about how i started working there and i live on my own now, looking into colleges. We chatted for a few minutes before i had to go back to work. I asked for her number to text with and, she walked off. As i went back inside i remember the times in Anatomy with our little group, and how i used to enjoy chatting with her. it also made me Remember the day i flipped her off, Years ago. As i lay down in bed that night, I remember thinking of her and telling myself, “you know, i think she would be an awesome Girlfriend.”

Months Passed and i hadnt had much Contact with Maria. I had my own problems at the time and i remember that period of my life to be so unstable i didnt want to date a girl and Live there lol. But i would text her every now and then and wed talk for a bit. I remember her dating someone at the time, and living with them. One Night in Particular I noticed she was posting on Tumblr and it seemed like she was Upset. So i Texted her and asked if she was doing alright. She said she was fine, but shes too much like me, i say that just to get people to leave me alone. I text back that she can talk or vent to me, that i didnt mind. And she did. She began to talk about her Relationship with her BF and how they rarely see each other because of work schedules and School. She told me she was thinking of just packing her things and leaving while he was at work. I told her, “Do what you have to do. if you arent happy, why are you there?”

i texted about a week or so later. She left him. She Began talking about moving to Portland With a Friend, and Getting out of AZ. I remember being bummed out at the news, my feelings for her had began to grow. I decided to step away for awhile, let those feelings go away. It must have been around 3 or 4 months later, or longer? But anyway, i see her posting on Tumblr Again, and i send her a DM asking how shes been, and if she moved to Oregon. She replied back and said her Friend Flaked, and that she really didnt want to go anyway. She says to text her, and i Ask for her Number Again.

From then on, we talked semi often every couple days, more and more often as time passes. Finally, one Day i ask her to hangout sometime, go to the arcade, play air hockey. We had been talking pretty often by then, but no obvious flirting or anything. We meet up at the arcade and we take turns playing different games, Giant Connect Four, Air Hockey, Ticket Games. She bought me a little T rex with her tickets, i named him Revan. Then we just sat on a couch and People watched those who walked in. I remember feeling her arm against mine as we sat together, and Me leaning in Quickly and kissing her cheek, and Seeing her Smile.

About 4 or 5 more little Dates Later, I ask her if she would be serious, because i wanted to be.

Her Face Brightened as i saw her give the biggest Smile i ever seen from her, and she said Yes.

I told Isaiah how as the first year passed, i had been drunk off the happiness i had at the time. As i learned more about Maria, the more attractive she was to me. She is unlike any woman ive ever met before, or have met since. I told him about how i talked about her to my friends all the time, how smart she was, how she volunteered at a Funeral Home Embalming Bodies and playing with Corpses like a Badass.

Then came my 22nd Birthday, on the first year we were dating in 2014. I didnt even want a present from her, she was all i wanted any day. I dont know why i never told her things like that. She Baked me Fudge Brownies after work on the week of my birthday, and i was more than happy.

Then she pulled a box out of Nowhere, Smiled That Warm Smile i Had come to Adore, and Said “Happy Birthday Babe!”

Before that Moment, i Cant recall a time that i was genuinely Surprised like that. I remember the words stopping in my throat and jumbled with the ones i had tried to say Next. Genuine Excitement as i opened the Long Brown Box. I opened the top flap and pulled the Styrofoam Casing to the Rectangle stick inside, Bright White with a Black Line going Down along the Length of it. And inbetween the space in the Line at the Hilt, Was the Red and White Sigil of the Uchiha.

A fucking Uchiha Sword! Like i was in actual Disbelief when i Realized. And what i explain next i never told anyone other than Isaiah that night.

I had to Try my Hardest to keep from Crying in that moment. Not because i loved the Gift she had gotten me, and how she made it a surprise, Something no one has done for me before.

It was because i remember a couple weeks before,as we scrolled Netflix one evening, i Saw Naruto on the list. I geeked out and asked you if you ever watched it, and began geeking out about it to her. I Made her watch some of my favorite episodes, and she would playfully Tease me about it. As My birthday neared, i came home from work one day to watch some Naruto Myself, and Booted up Netflix.

Someone went about 4 episodes ahead of where we Left off Last. I was at Work, and it was her Netflix Account. She actually started watching it because of how much i told her i liked it. Then She picked out something SHE thought i would like, instead of asking what I wanted like My Lazy Ass does.

No one had ever shown interest in Me like that before, and it touched me right in that moment. I blocked all emotion and was all smiled as i Hugged her Maria and told her how much i loved it. That thing was glued to my hip for like 2 months straight, i would get high after work and watch old Samurai and Ninja Movies, and act out the sword fighting with it. I even slept with it for the first Week.

In the days after that, i saw Maria in a whole new Light. I always knew the Maria who had her walls up to Anyone, the “i really dont care,” attitude she had when she was grumpy in the mornings. I got a glimpse at the Maria That was Behind that wall, The Real Maria.

Who Was sweet, considerate, and Generous. Loving and who could make me laugh.

Ever since that i saw that small glimpse of Her, My heart swelled and pumped blood thrice as hard, and my hands would shake and my mouth would get dry.

I was Falling in Love with you.

Hours have Passed, its Around 2 AM. The Line of Coke has me at Full Speed still, having plenty to say still. Isaiah just sits and drinks, giving the odd acknowledgement every couple of Sentences.

The months after my Birthday have passed, and things seem great between Maria and I. If i only knew what i know now.....

If i had just Put more Faith in You, and in my Heart. It Kills me to know how things would be if i had just manned up and told you how you made me feel....

After the first year, the strain began. We both worked. I had the accounting Job with the Contracting Company, and Maria was Working at a local Kids clothing store, and Volunteered at the Funeral Home, Along with her classes, AND she tutored.

i understood she had a full plate alot of the the time, not to mention the headaches and pains she would have. And that time of the month the poor girl was in pain Constantly. So i didnt get upset or mad when she didnt have time to visit or was too tired from work. we were always talking.

But eventually the Strain and My past would come to Signal the End. it was August, 2015. My brother had fallen Behind on his Mortage Payments on his house, and needed to make a payment ASAP or he would lose the House. Naturally i gave him all the spare cash i could to keep a roof over our heads.

Unfortunately, It left me Penniless during the Month of August, which Marias Birthday was in. I Felt Like Complete Shit but i was in a corner. I apologized to her and promised to make it up to her. It wasnt a big deal to her, but i just hated that it made me look like i dont give a shit.

I had an Ace an hole, Though. i Saved a link to a site that makes Custom Rings that Maria had posted in Tumblr that she really liked and wanted. I ordered it and did it early enough to get it before Christmas. It was already Too Late.

Maria was beginning to grow distant, not replying as soon or as often before. the replies getting shorter and shorter, the tone colder and colder. As we approached My birthday again, I plan a Group event with my friends and family, cause last year we went Paintballing and Maria wasnt there, she had work and class.

So im thinking of what i could do for a group, and i see that Charlie Murphy is doing a show ON my Birthday, a Friday! It was Perfect. I called and Reserved seats for everyone, ordered Bottle Service, i was so excited!

I texted Maria Telling her About the Comedy show and Date of My Birthday. She says she cant make it cause of work, she gets off at around 12. I was Bummed, but I understood.

The Big Day comes and it starts off great. Work was a Breeze, and Maria greeted me with a Warm Happy Birthday first. As the day progressed Everything seemed Normal. As evening sets, we all get ready to go to the show. 8 o clock, Showtime!

it was a Fantastic Show, me and all my Friends and Family drinking and Laughing our Asses off. The only thing missing was Maria. I texted her before the show saying id text her after it was over. it woulda been near to midnight, and she coulda met up with us. The show ends around 1040, and the manager says we can finish off the bottles in the bar. Me and my Friends stay, and start getting Tanked.

Midnight Comes, and i text Maria asking if she was off yet and if she wanted to come meet us. Time passes, and no reply.

she probably went home and crashed, she was probably tired, I think, as it wasnt Abnormal for her to Nap during the Day or whenever she could. So i check Facebook, and it Hits me.

A friend Tagged her and some friends at Westgate, not Long ago.

My heart Goes into FreeFall in My stomach.

Why would she be at Westgate After work? did she Ignore my Text...? why...?

My insecurites flared, and i assumed the worst. I remember everything going Quiet around me, My heart Hammering in my chest, blocking out all other noise.

i Shouldve just called. i Shouldve had more Faith in you, and what i Meant to you.

When every girl you date cheats on you and leaves, in a Row, it was hard not to assume the worst, when the worst is what always happens to you.

I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as i get up to go outside the bar. She went to go out with her friends, and she knew it was my Birthday Today....

It didnt make any sense to me, it all seemed so unbeliveable. But ive been wrong before. And add the excessive Alcohol, you get a Recipe for a Terrible Mistake.

I wasnt Dumb, I knew Maria and I were Drifting apart, Our schedules getting more and more hectic. My job stressing me the fuck out day after day, Marias Packed Schedule.

I was so fucking stupid. Why did i wait? Why didnt i just drop to my knees and tell her when i look at her eyes, i feel like i could do anything. That when she was in my arms i Felt like i needed to become a Better man for her. Why did i wait?

December. Jerkoff Hipster making her ring is falling behind, gonna need a couple more weeks. delivery date mid Janurary. I Threw A fucking Fit. i could feel it all slipping away, no matter what I did. Why did i Wait?

I was so Terrified of Opening up to you, and you not feeling the same way. The Thought of looking into your eyes and telling you that i was in love with you, and i wanted to be with you forever, or until i died. I was Terrified of looking into your eyes and Shooting me down. The texts got shorter and shorter. only strengthening My doubts and Fears.

Christmas. The Ring wasnt Ready yet. Another Fucking Embarassment. She got me a Captain Phasma Painting and some Marvel Shirts. I tell you, “look, i ordered this is time to get it for Christmas, but the Guy Got Delayed and it wasnt ready yet, but... i showed you the Ring on my Phone.

It was the last smile i Saw on you in Person.

So many oppurtunities, wasted. so fucking Stupid. I promise to make it up to you.

Down to One Word Answers, or no Reply at all.

Janurary 2016. Hiroshima.

Valentines Day is Coming, Ill have the Ring Then! and i ordered a Cute little Stuffed Corgi to go with Some Flowers and a nice Romantic Date! i order everything and wait.

You came over one week, and seemed in such a foul mood, i couldnt place it. I thought you were in Pain Probably. I tried to cuddle you, kiss your cheek, you clearly dont want the affection. I try something alittle more...Adult.

You Grabbed my Wrist, and Yanked my Hand away, throwing it off you. I was in Shock. I still remember the look you Gave me that night, Clear as day. That Piercing Glare, Looking Right at me. Pure Anger. and Pain.

Youre replies, in thier Rarity, lacked no padding for thier sharp edges. I believe its all Over Now.

Late January 2016.

You came over one Last time. We had Sex one last time. I remember grabbing you after the first go around as you got up and laid you back down. I was such a Fool.

The Ring was Delivered that Weekend. Monday i text you to see when your free to visit next, your ring is ready and i wanted to see if it fit correctly. You reply your busy tomorrow. i ask with what? you reply with: Concert. i ask What concert. You say: Tribal Seeds.

You stopped Replying After That. The Next Day i texted you again asking when can you come hangout and see your Ring?

You Broke up with me after that.

It felt like everything around me had fallen below me, and all that was left was the dark and Silence. Typing about it now makes the Hole in my heart Ache. I remember how hard the Rain Poured that Night.....As i Cried along with it.

And it was only the Beginning for me.

The first weeks after that day are a blur to me. Either Too Many Drugs Or too Many Drinks, take your pic. i was Broken. One moment you were there, you were mine, and i was gonna fix everything come Valentines Day. I had a Nice Romantic Dinner planned, then a Scenic Walk where i would show you the ring and tell you that even though were having a Rough Patch right now, that i loved you and i wanted to do everything i can to prove it to you.

But you Had other plans didnt you?

God i can still feel my heart when I saw pictures of you and Him....I dont know how to Describe how Painful it was to see. It was only Feb, and you were already with someone else? Posting Valentines Shit? I cried for hours, I begged for you not to be like the others, To just leave me for Someone Else so Fucking Fast, like i was Nothing to you.

But thats how it went down, though. Didnt it?

Friends for over 5-6 Years, Lovers for 2.

I couldnt even get a goodbye.....Just a Text. Was that all i was worth, to you?

You got with him within Weeks of Dumping me. Yet your Tumblr youre heartbroken and sad. It was like i had Entered into some NIghtmare.

within the First Two Weeks, I dropped four Hits of Acid at Once. I wanted to Escape. Instead i jumped right into it. I see you posting on Tumblr. Sad, Depressing things. Your Tags show how you deleted the texts from your phone, even though you didnt want to. How you could literally see in your texts of your declining Affection for me. In the end, It was my own doing.

With the Courage of Acid, I messaged you. I ask if your okay, and you ask why, like i dont see your posts, like i dont possibly know why you could be feeling so sad. Even then, at the end, you couldnt be honest with me.

I ask you Maria cant we please Talk?

You say About what? Like you thought i was stupid.

And thats when i just finally, for the first time, although Far too Late. I opened up to you.

I remember Anatomy.

I Remember You At Barros that Day

I Remember Air Hockey at the Arcade.

I remember The Birthday Gift.

The Words poured out then like they do now, The Spark you set in my Heart was the most important thing to me.

Whatever i needed to do to make it work, no matter what, just please dont give up on me.....

You may as well as shot me dead with your reply.

“if you had said that before, things would be Completely different.”

“saying it Now doesnt Mean Much to me now”

Those words still Haunt Me, A Year Later. And it is not even the worst to come.

You Had the verdict long before i even knew. You Found my “dating Profile” Online, and didnt say anything. just let it stew inside you. As we grew apart it hurt to see you just blatantly ignore my messages. So i used that profile to look at women, nothing else. It was only on My Birthday i Night i Made a Mistake i Will Regret forever. Maria wasnt there, she was with her friends. she didnt want to come here, or answer my texts. she chose to be with my friends. I was always the girls’ Second Choice. I got Drunk. I got Upset. I wanted Petty Revenge. I cheated. I Dont even Remember her Name or what she really looked like. Never should have done it.

A month Passes. March. I ask to still be friends, and how i missed you. We start talking again, almost like how it used to be. Tagging each other in posts again.But i also See him. Concerts, posts, tags. It tore me apart. Some Days i would wake up at 4 AM from my alarm for work, and Your Face would be the first thing i see in my head. The Tears would flow before i could even open my eyes for the first time. I try to get you to meet up with me, so we can talk. After i opened up that night you agreed we should talk. Then you just changed your mind....You Said give it time, walk the path, smell the Roses, and maybe we can start again...

My heart is Pumping like a cannon as i go into detail for Isaiah, how i became a madman, was so motivated by the mere notion that MAYBE there was a CHANCE we could work it out later. I couldnt be stopped. I drank Nothing but Water, ate only Chicken, Raw Veggies, Salmon and Fish, and cut out ALL sugar and breads. I dropped 30 pounds in a Month, and was in great shape for a fight at the gym i trained at. I would watch these Inspirational videos everymorning at 3 AM, just to run for an hour. I posted everything on Snapchat, Only Because i Wanted Maria to see it. I was so Optimistic...

April 2016.

Family Vaction in Mexico. A week with a private beachfront Villa and as much Booze as i can drink. i go in with Gusto. The Villa Has Wifi, can keep up with your posts.tagged me in some. Then the posts about him.

I hated how it made me feel to read them. He had what i wanted for us. Our own Place. Just Us. and a Dog.

He took My Place and it Ate me Alive from the Inside.

I stayed up all night, drinking tequila by the shot, playing Toro Y moi and Chain smoking. I watched the reflection of the moon dance on the waves, and thought of you. When i hear the Ocean, and nights when the Moon is Large and Beautiful, i think of you.

I Broke that night......

I knew there was no Path, no flowers to smell.

There was no Second Chance.

I Lost her.

And i couldnt get her back. She didnt want me anymore.

she wants someone else now, and when i Think about it I have to imagine Flames burning the thoughts away.

I guess after that night, i lost my motivation, i Wised up.

And i knew i had to come clean to you. It was the hardest thing i ever did.

It hurts so much still, looking back. Im So sorry...

Even after i hurt you that day, i still saw a sliver of you come through your walls.

I begged for you in time to forgive me, and over time we could be friends again. Let me earn back your trust, understand i made a Terrible Mistake and im willing to do anything to make it work.

Most people would have told me to go to hell and never talk to them again.

But not you. Not even then.

You Said, “ Maybe in time i will forgive you. maybe i wont. Depends on how i feel. for now you should make yourself scarce.”

I was stunned,,,those words hung on me for months after. Did you really mean that, Maria?

And that was the last time i heard from you for awhile...i remember Breaking down at work....The Silence hurt the most. No Texts, No Posts, Nothing.

Not only did i lose the woman i Love, I lost a dear Friend as well...

When i Returned home, i Quit Training, I quit the fight, I quit Dieting. That deep, Dark Hole you brought me out of, Maria.....when i saw you that day....I went Right Back in.

since May 2016 i was in a hole that i could not get out of. sure, i made it look like i was living the life on snapchat, but in reality, on the inside, i was so broken. Then Life Decided to kick me while i was down, and Took my Bonnie away from me. As if it couldnt get worse. My Brother and I Bawled as they put her to sleep. I was so fucking Lost.....

So i texted the one person who maybe might put up with my Bullshit....You.

and you were nice, you coulda kicked me when i was down and wouldve been justified. But you heard me out....More of that Real you shining through.

It is 4 AM now. i have spent all night telling this story to Isaiah, who has listened intently this whole time.

I tell him how after the months of Bonnies Death, I just didnt leave the house. Tried my Best to leave you be and not see shit that would kill me on the inside. The days became Quiet and Lonely. your presence in Tumblr becomes less and less active.

I hardly see you or your posts anymore...

i harden my heart and try move on.

Then i see your posts about your health. the doctor scare, Lupus.

I felt so bad, and worried i wanted to see if you were okay, even though i knew you hate my guts.But i worried and Worried and finally said fuck it and just sent a message saying i heard what youre going through, im sorry, i hope you get better soon, if you need anything, please ask

I wasnt expecting a Response, Yet you sent one : Thanks for Caring.

couldnt expect more than that, so i leave it be.

That Night, Maria makes a post.

Its About me.

My heart jumped into my throat and got stuck. My hands shook as i held my phone.

I didnt completely erase you out of my life.

i still think about you, from time to time.

Thank you for texting me today.

thank you for still caring about me.

Despite the shit i post on here, I still Care about you too.

And No its not the drugs Talking.

I read and Re-Read that post thousands of times in the following months. On Bad Days, Days where i wanted to give up. I read that post and it kept me going. First time reading it i Cried for hours. It was as if God heard a prayer.

To see you say that you still cared.....you will never know what that did. how that felt for me. Even Now it makes me tear up.

My heart didnt hurt as much after that, it healed some of it. I was always confused with Maria. One moment she says she cares, then comes off as your nothing to her. i never knew which was which.

and now, as the year came to face my Birthday again. There was only one thing i wanted. truly wanted. and if i got it, getting nothing else from anybody wouldnt even fucking matter.

I just wanted you to say Happy Birthday.

I didnt think you would. i thought you would have moved on by now, enjoying youre new life with him. I couldnt bleed about it any longer. i took the pieces of my heart and piece it back together again. i began to accept reality. and the pain began to dull.

NOV. 20th 2016

Saturday.

Woke up Early and went out to the woods to do some shooting. all day there. Head back for some Missouri BBQ, and get ready to get Blackout drunk Tonight. Night Goes well, Got trashed, had fun, Fought a couple dudes, enjoyed myself.

Got back to Devins Late that night. Eat Chocolate BDAY cake drunk.

Head off for bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the time. 9:40 PM

She isnt gonna say it. Oh well.

go to your blog to lookup your post to make me feel better.

Read the words, smile and Remember. Pain Begins to set in.

back out of tags to leave, see another tag you never seen before.

“C and I”

click tag link.

Heart Explodes in my Chest, Breath Frozen in throat.

Its a picture. of us. Smiling.

the Caption Read:” I know i have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings and stuff but this guy right here means the world to me. Hes sweet, caring and Funny and---”

I couldnt read the Rest. I began to Cry Non Stop, Like someone Just Told Me my mother was Murdered.

I couldnt stop it, couldnt control myself. The pain was so much. Each one more painful to look at. How did i never see them? How??

I couldnt do it anymore. I couldnt keep taking the pain of it. I deserved to be Happy too..

its been two months since that day.

its been over a year since i last seen you with my own eyes, heard your voice....

And now we reach the end of this story. i force myself to block out the memories, remember nothing.

I have to move on with my life....

and yet....after saying all that Isaiah, which After i had finished, 8 hours had passed. 8 hours i poured out my soul. such a weight had been lifted, it felt so good for someone to hear me out...

so i finish this sad story, and Isaiah asks me one question: How do you feel about her now?

I stayed quiet for a good amount of time. i mulled it over. every memory. Good. the Bad. The Ugly. and i finally settled upon:

I miss her, Isaiah. Not like a lover misses his spouse, but like a friend who helped another Grow.

I hope to see you again one day, Maria.

#m #personal #tldr #my soul

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scorpioslut-blog1 · 5 years ago

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Social media, vices, drugs, intentions..again

On adderall. My chosen drug of preference right now. it makes me think, it makes me feel, it makes me express... i havent done it in like a week tho, so i'm sorta cracking out... bothering mila... thinking about life. I also just am always thinking, thinking so hard and about so much that I don’t even know what to do... and adderall makes me productive. it makes me feel, makes me think, makes me walk briskly and crave cigarettes and black coffee. my brother thinks i’m undiagnosed bipolar 1 and adhd, so maybe adderall was fated to be one of my many, many vices. which reminds me... i deleted instagram AGAIN, or my main account, just sort of disgusted with the distraction of it all... how i’m roaming these pages, even as an outsider, an outcast, a loner, comparing myself to everyone, being influenced by them... i dont really care about any of them... i mean i see wonderful people and wonderful things but i feel so detached, so isolated from everything and everyone. and i know i'm doing it to myself, but i dont really know how going back on instagram was supposed to help. i did it when i was lonely, and was stuck on there for a few weeks before it let me delete again. but i dont know. i guess i'm trying to live in the moment, in the real world, without the needs to broadcast everything or prove to people that i’m doing things and have friends and i'm beautiful and cool and all these things i used to care about. i just dont care, or am trying not to care, about how people perceive me. i feel like i dont, compared at least to a lot of people, but still, its this all consuming thing that ties into a lot of my concerns regarding the power of perception. and i’m just so angry. sooo angry at everybody, so angry at myself, i hate myself, i hate my family, i hate everything, and it isn’t fun. i wallow sometimes, i enjoy cigarettes and the smiths and being angry at the world but i dont know. today i missed a really important doctors appointment that, unlike most, wouldve been probably really useful and productive and instead i showed up fifteen minutes late (which is standard and not even that late) and they said i should reschedule but instead i didnt. afterwards i wanted to throw my skateboard off the second floor but i didnt, then i thought about throwing it down the stairs but i didnt. then i went outside and considered smoking a cigarette but i didnt. i instead walked back up the stupid hill i skated down in the rain just to make this stupid appointment and did all the things i'm supposed to do (after taking adderall). i went to the student store and stole a hydroflask, which felt really good, especially since i lost my old water bottle and thus my body and skin has literally suffered. then i went to walgreens and stole some black hair dye, which will give me something to do tonight besides all the responsibilities i'm perpetually neglecting. then i got a black coffee from strada (not a latte, because apparently adding any milk negates all the good shit coffee does for ur body, according to a random white guy in a dashiki i bought chips for outside of trader joes the other week). then i came to kroeber with the hopes of working on this project i'm pathetically half assing for sculpture, ran into mila, and have made him be the brunt of my adderall induced psychosis (not psychosis; using this word lightly).

now i’m outside of kroeber because i wanted a cigarette, one of the few vices i’m not even attempting to mitigate at the moment. even though its not good for my skin and my stomach, two things i've been trying to really improve. the one thing i cant bring myself to do is get up and start my day and do all the motions of a regular person. i love sleep, and there’s nothing wrong with it, except i had been having a hard time going to bed at a decent hour for a while, so i got a dab pen which helps. all i've done the last week was sleep, though, and i'm enjoying it again. i can now go to bed early ish, if i try, which is good. i think i'm also getting better at thinking, which was the main reason, i believe, i was drinking. so i wasnt thinking so damn much. i've also tried not avoiding thinking of certain things, which i historically do, distracting myself with my social life and other people’s problems and my problems and boys i like and parties i’m going to. i dont worry too much about death anymore, which might be my greatest feat. i'm going through what i'm tell my friends is a quarter-life crisis, something they will understand when they turn 21. i think that’s a big part of it. i think a lot about where i am and what my twenties are supposed to mean, where i wanna be, the person i wanna be. i had a thought the other day that i had no sense of who i am. no sense of self or identity. especially after being consumed so heavily these past few years. i dont even remember the last year. i felt like i was floating through it. which i guess is the point of all my isolation and self punishment. i want to be present for my own fucking life. i think about the last year of my life and it just feels like i never digested it, realized my context in the world, outside of my house or my friends. which is the benefit of being alone. thinking, digesting, unpacking... but then i get so lonely and bored and unmotivated and then i just distract myself with television. which is so bad, but so good. i can think about these fake lives so much more, and not think about my life, or my lack of one. i dont want to feel bad for myself. but i guess i just want things that i'm not getting right now. i want friends i can laugh with and enjoy life with. i want things to look forward to, which come and go. i want love, i want someone to sleep with at night and cook with and watch tv with. i think a lot about the things that i've had, or when i had them. i had all these emotional, physical things with justin. and it’s been almost a year since i’ve had that. i had a sexual experience after thanksgiving, i went over to this guys house who is really nice and smart and a great but just terrible in bed. TERRIBLE. but he was a good cuddler, he’s really nice and respectful (i just dont want ANY sexual relations with him at all). i think i wanna be his friend. but it was really nice to have someone in bed with me. i think its also more hard when i see everyone around me in these beautiful relationships of all sorts, so happy and productive, even if everyones mentally i.ll too, they can sleep together and do things together... but i can do that too, by myself or with friends, which is what i'm trying to do. also not use other people as crutches, as reasons to get up or wake up early or eat food or have fun or socialize. after i get through this week or two of making up an entire semester’s worth of shit i didnt do, once i have free time which i simultaneously always yet never have, i want to love life by myself. i dont want to need adderall. but at this point i just wanna do anything that fixes things. i keep telling myself that if i just get through this and keep sticking to these changes I'll be happier. my new life will cost my old one. but then the pattern tells me that i need to stop hiding from who i'm meant to be. so i dont know what to do... i know i'm a social creature, i love people and connections, but i hate everyone, i'm sick of loving and giving, i'm trying to be intentional and waring and careful with my relationships but i'm just so lonely and bitter. i'm driving everyone away, killing the few relationships i do have, i hang with bree and like her a lot but like she pointed out, thats because we live together, not that i dont like her but i'm forced to socialize with her which is good but also i should want to socialize with other people. i think going home will be great for me. connect with people. i dont want to tell people how lonely i am but i am. and itl be really nice to spend time with the people who matter to me over there. about this whole not-present-in-my-own-life-for-a-year thing, i havent really been there on the east coast. like i want to be there. i was there for so long, and i thought this place would be my home, but now i'm wondering. i think also its realizing that its me, not where i am, so i need to fix me. and i'm trying to fix myself but also, at what point do i need help? how do i get that help? i know it sounds easy, my mother says so, i just call and make these appointments. but then its just so hard to do, hard to establish these schedules and hard to get there or even want to go, and money, so i dont know. i want to take a semester off but thats not gonna happen. i want to stay but i want to go. i want to get better, but i dont want to fall into the same patterns. i want to break the pattern. i want to stop floating through my own life. i want to be productive, successful, functioning, and I want to be that fun time, that fun funny beautiful person i know i am, but i dont want to be destructive or toxic to myself or others. i want to love myself, i want to be that person i used to be. i want to be as brave and confident and sexy and interesting and mysterious as people perceive me to be, but i feel like none of those things. i dont want to shower because i dont want to look down at my body. i want to get dressed and feel good about my appearance in the morning but i just always feel so ugly and insecure and uncomfortable, and i know i wasnt always like this, sometimes i am, but i wonder if i was just faking it, and i think in many ways i was. i know growth and self improvement is not linear and not always an upwards trajectory and i am trying, but it just almost feels like I'll never be that person again, and i want to. i want to go back in time. i want to always be doing things and having fun, but i know i cant. i know i cant because its not sustainable, its self destructive, its destructive to others, and that is how i became a commodity. i became something to consume and distract and give and create fun and introduce and party with and take pictures of and with. it makes me sick. it makes me sick how people want to be me or be with me or theorize on me and my personhood and think of the ways in which i serve them, how i'm always up and happy and fun and if i'm not then i did them wrong, or i'm wrong, or i'm mad, or i'm rude. i dont like how people want things from me, how i'm always performing, always pretending. i dont like how people dont want to understand how complex people are, but then again maybe its only in regard to me. then its my fault for creating this persona, feeding into it, allowing and encouraging them to take from me, its not that theyre taking but its that i'm giving, so i dont want to give anymore. i'm sick of giving and giving then being painted the devil. i dont like trying to be this or that or hoping for this or that. so i'm not giving anymore. which hurts me, i want to give, i want to love and create and bring together. but i think about how i surround myself with beautiful people and things, hoping that if i am surrounded in beauty that it will make me beautiful. i fetishize everything, everything fetishizes me. i like to be looked at but i hate when people look at me. i want everything to be about me, but i am nothing. this is not a movie, this is real life, people die, people take drugs, people hurt, we hurt each other, the world is unfair and fucked up and some peoples likes just arent supposed to be easy. i know i'm grateful, and i'm trying to be more grateful and appreciative and exist in this life. i am thankful for my parents, but i'm mad, and i cant even vocalize or express in the ways that i want to. i cant say anything real without crying. i'm not even particularly more sad than usual, i think i'm just depressed and lonely. which i've been many times before. anyway, i'm trying to take advantage of everything around me, like i'm supposed to. i want to go to dolores and bask in the sunlight, i want to enjoy being with people but not be the entertainer. i want things to feel natural and effortless but i want to be intentional so bad, i want to be thoughtful and intentional with words and actions and situations i put myself in. like when i hooked up with that boy, i didnt want to, i didnt know how to say i just didnt want to. when i actually am invited somewhere and i socialize i want to enjoy it without drinking or drugs but i cant. i had a nice day the other day, me and my room mate and her mans and her friend who’s my friend who i love dearly and is really awesome, we all went to sutro baths and had a grand old time, a great day, we went to an estate fair and a coffee shop and we went to sutro baths then got vietnamese food, it was lovely. i want more days like that. it felt nice to socialize, be with a group of friends, having fun, being young. i want that balance, i want to focus on my career and studies and interests, i even want more days like today. i failed miserably but i took adderall and did some things in between before it hit and now i'm writing my feelings, which feels absolutely amazing. i'm on my 4.5th cigarette today, but like i said, one allowed vice in the place of many. i want to do things, to be functional, to live in this moment with full presence and action.

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barry429484077-blog · 7 years ago

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mature in latex - 10 Ways Xhamster Mature Lesbian Can Make You Invincible

Mark - Brianna and I were an unlikely match. I am white 63" and 205lbs. I could of been the poster child of a SoCal surfer dude. Blonde hair, blue eyes and no body fat to speak of. Brianna is Blasian (Black/Asian) 58" tall with a brickhouse body (38-24-38). She is stunningly beautiful with light brown skin and intoxicatingly exotic eyes. We attended the same college and definitely ran in different crowds. She was studious and I was there to party. I had a reputation on campus with the ladies....manwhore. I had the looks and sported a thick 8 1/2" cock. I noticed Brianna one day and set my sights on my next conquest. My ego took a major hit when she would not give me the time of day. I persisted over the next few days, causing her to snap at me. Brianna unleashed on me. How I objectified women and she would not be another notch on my bedpost. I tried to play it off, but deep down I knew she was right. I was an ass whole. After much soul searching, I decided to find her and apologize. I noticed her sitting alone out in the main courtyard. I nervously asked her if I could speak to her. She looked at me for a long minute and agreed. I asked her to accept my apology for being an ass. We sat and talked for a couple hours. I walked her back to her dorm. For the first time my thoughts werent to say anything to get in a girls pants. I asked if we could meet for lunch the next day and she accepted. We spent more time together over the next month. Unbelievably, she told me she was still a virgin in her junior year of college. I joked with her about hearing rumors she was a lesbian. She said, "What?!". After recovering from a rib punch. She told me her retired army sergeant dad was very strict with his only daughter. She wasnt allowed to have boyfriends and it carried over into college. I asked her to be my girl. She new I was sexually experienced. She told me she cared for me, but wasnt ready for sex. I knew she was giving me and out. I looked in her eyes and she was tearing up. Hugging her tightly, I told her I could wait as long as it took. We had some heavy make out sessions over the next couple of months. She gave me hand jobs and became infatuated with my 8 12" dick. She let me play with her big tits and pussy through her underwear. I am not going to lie I was getting very frustrated. Unexpectedly, Brianna initiated having sex the first time. She asked me to be patient and go slow. I made it about her. I kissed and sucked on her very hard nipples. I slowly removed her panties and took my time before licking her pussy. and came squeezing my head between her thighs. Entering her with my focus on pleasing her rather than just getting mine was new for me. Her eyes were glazed over as she gasped and moaned. We fucked slowly at first as she adjusted to my size. She had at least two orgasms before I came. I looked at her amazing body while she came down from her orgasm. I was in love with her and was happy about it. We finally met each others parents after dating for a year and a half at our graduation. Her dad shook my hand clearly letting me know it wouldnt go well if I hurt his little girl. He was a big guy about my height but broader in the shoulders. Her mom was Thai very beautiful and petite. I am the spitting image of my dad. My mom was tall at 510" with long slender legs and amazing blue eyes. I surprised everyone (except my dad he helped me buy the ring) including Brianna at dinner. I got on bent knee and proposed. The look her dad gave me made me pause for just a second. Her dad Ray cut me some slack when he found out I was getting commissioned in the Army. They were an Army family. Brianas two older brothers were already enlisted. Ray pulled me aside and verbalized what I had been picking up on with his looks. He said, "treat her right and you and I will get along." I knew he meant every word. I left for training that summer. Receiving my first assignment after completing the training. We were going to Germany! Brianna and I were married and off we went to start our life together. The first year was all about us. We lived in a small house about ten miles from the base. I loved being a platoon leader. Brianna was doing some part time teaching at the base school. Our home life was great. We studied German together and traveled when we could. We were having sex frequently and over time Brianna was my best sex partner ever. Brianna was so humble she really didnt realize how good looking she was. Her humility was one of the things I loved about her. She could have been so vain looking the way she did. Army officers and their wives were required to attend socials. We were often the youngest couple at these events. I would have to take a lot of crap from higher ranking officers mostly in jest. Brianna regularly turned heads and was always the center of attention. I would often overhear comments made about her body, ass or full lips. My first reaction was to get angry. Over time this anger eventually turned to pride and then fantasies. Before I met Brianna I experienced a few threesomes. Buddies and I would share a girls. I even had sex with two bi-sexual girls once. The attention Brianna was getting combined with my past experiences fueled some pretty hot fantasies. My current platoon sergeant transferred out. His replacement was a muscular Peurto Rican. Louis was in his late thirties and came across hard. He was 511" and 220lbs of muscle, tattoos and scars. The prominent scar on his left cheek was a nice accessary. He later told me he got it in a street fight before he joined the army. His mom made him join the army because it was safer than his neighborhood. I couldnt match Louis in hand-to-hand combat. But I was more than a match running and swimming. We had a very competitive relationship. He was my subordinate, but we became more like brothers over time. We would grab a few beers after work every day. I learned he was divorced with two kids he missed very much. He blamed himself because he couldnt keep his dick in his pants. One day, he looked at me over his beer and said, "How did a geek like you land a babe like your wife... sir?" I responded, "with good looks and a big dick." He replied, "I thought officers were always honest?". We laughed it off but all the while I was thinking, holy shit Louis has the hots for my wife. On the drive home all I could think about was Brianna having sex with Louis. Brianna and other significant others would regularly watch us play softball. Brianna though Louis was very intimidating. This one particular softball game Brianna sat with some of the single girls. She overheard gossip about Louis and his sexual prowess. During dinner, Brianna cleared her throat and said she overheard some of the enlisted girls talking about Louis. By this time she was blushing and couldnt make eye contact. I was all ears at this point. Louis was making a name for himself with the ladies. I laughed and said well he is single and spends half his life in the gym. I said, "I thought guys like that were jerks.". She replied, "they are!". She changed the subject to her day teaching. I tried to listen to her , but my mind drifted to her and Louis. We were having sex that night and she was very excited. I again fantasized about Louis fucking her. I was fucking her from behind. Her big hard ass was slamming back against me. I blurted out, "imagine its Louis fucking you." She moaned slamming back even harder. I looked in the mirror, the look of lust on her face was intense. I got bolder and asked her, "if she wanted to fuck him." She didnt answer, moaning louder. I asked again, her head lowered to the mattress and she screamed, "yaaaaaas!" She experienced the most intense orgasm ever. It was too much for me and I blasted in her pussy. We lay there catching our breaths in total silence. She finally cuddled up next to me. She guiltily told me I was the only man she wanted or needed. I didnt push the topic. However, I drifted off to sleep thinking about Louis fucking Brianna. The next weekend we had a two-day softball tournament. I sprained my ankle during the last mature sleeping sex game of the day. An medic iced it down and gave me some crutches. Brianna had been drinking so I asked Louis to drive us home. She was pretty chatty on the way home. I dont know if it was the booze or her nerves being around Louis. I was thinking about my plan. I took a shower leaving them alone. When I came out I caught Louis looking at her ass while she made us something to eat. He quickly looked away, grabbing me a beer from the cooler. Brianna brought us food, excusing herself to go take a shower. Louis .was looking through our movie collection. I told him to pick one out. He selected "9 1/2 Weeks", a favorite of mine. He asked, "if it was a bad choice?". I gave him our hand signal for negative. Brianna came out looking refreshed wearing one of my t-shirts. Her big tits and ass were still pretty obvious. I noticed she put on makeup as well. She joined me on the couch and I passed her a beer. It took her a minute to realize what we were watching. When she did she gave me "the look". During the movie we were all quiet. Brianna would sneak glances over at Louis and turn back to the movie. After the movie ended I asked Brianna to get Louis a towel and some clean clothes. She looked at me like I was crazy. She returned with a towel and clothes. Louis was barely out of the room and Brianna asked, "What the hell are you thinking?" I calmly looked at her and said, "I cant drive him back and hes been drinking. Are you willing to drive him back?" She punched me in the ribs knowing the answer. I took a deep breath and told Brianna I wanted us to live out a fantasy. She looked confused and then said, "are your fricking crazy?" I replied, "maybe I am, I cant get it out of my mind". She said, "I dont think I could do anything and definitely not in front of my husband." Louis came out at that moment wearing shorts and a tank top. We both had seen his arm and calf tattoos before. Now you could partially see his back tattoo. I asked him to show us and he pulled mature women in bathing suits up the back of his shirt. Brianna said, "Oh my gosh!" I am not sure it was the beautiful mosaic tattoo that covered most of his back. Or his washboard abs and large pectorals. Brianna said she always wanted a tattoo but her dad would kill her. Louis looked at her and said, "Youre not your daddys little girl anymore." A look past between them that emboldened me. I thought to myself no guts no glory. Brianna was acting nervous. I took a deep breath and said, "Louis I want you and Brianna to have sex.". Louis stopped in mid drink. Brianna just looked down at the floor. I asked Louis, "do you want to have sex with Brianna?". Louis responded, "She is very beautiful." I said, "that wasnt my question." He looked at Brianna and said, "yes." Briannas head snpped up looking straight at Louis. I asked Brianna the same question. She replied, "yes". Brianna turned to me saying she was to nervous to do anything in front of me. I told her I would stay on the couch. I wanted her to do this. She sat back and thought for a minute. Brianna asked, "Are you sure?". I kissed her and whispered yes in her ear. She got up and walked over to Louis holding out her hand. I could see he nipples stiffening though her shirt. She led him into our bedroom. The last thing I saw before the door closed was her lifting the shirt over her head. I laid there for what seemed like an eternity. I thought she was going to change her mind and burst out of the bedroom. Then I heard her start to moan and gasp. My dick was instantly got hard , it was really happening! She let out a long gasp saying, "Please go slow.". The bed was making a slow rhythmic squeaking sound as her moans grew louder. I could tell she was trying to be quiet when she started blowing her air out instead of moaning. Louis started really laying the pipe. Between the bed springs and Briannas moaning it sounded like a rock concert. She was crying out, "Fuck me!", "God your dick feels so good!". She came screaming, "Yes! Cum in my pussy!" I cleaned my own cum up using my shirt. Laying there replaying the whole thing over in my mind. I dont know how much time passed. Brianna began moaning again. The bed was squeaking like crazy. They fucked for a while ending with Brianna cumming again very vocally. For more info in regards to pictures of milfs fucking review our own web-site. I finally drifted off to sleep waking up to the smell of bacon cooking. Brianna came out looking freshly showered. She couldnt make eye contact with me. She started picking up and tossed Louis uniform in the wash. I grabbed her as she walked past me and pulled her to my lap. I told her I loved her and I was ok with what happened if she was. Her eyes watered up and she kissed me. I knew she was experiencing some inner turmoil. But we would work through it together Louis handed her a plate and she went at it hungrily. I said, "looks like you worked up a serious appetite.". We all busted up laughing and that seemed to drain the tension out of the air. The next few days were surreal. We had only been married two years and I let another man fuck my wife! I couldnt believe how much I was turned on by what happened. Brianna was still clearly confused about her feelings about what happened. She was married and it was wrong. She felt guilty because she enjoyed the sex. What would her dad say! We talked for hours about what happened. We came to a mutual conclusion we wanted it to happen again. She wanted to include me but still wasnt comfortable enough. I told her I could wait. I cornered Louis who had been trying to avoid me. Hard to do when we sit in the same office. We went for a beer after work. I told him everything was fine. Brianna was ok and said she enjoyed it. I mentioned she and I would be at the club Friday night. Brianna - I was raised in a strict conservative home. Dating Mark was a big step for me. When we eventually had sex I was hooked. Mark was patient and a good teacher and I fell deeply in love with him. When he proposed to me it was the happiest day in my life. The fact my dad didnt shoot him was the second happiest day of my life. I was determined to be the best wife in all the history of wifedom. It was a fairy tale I moving to foreign country with my prince charming. I enjoyed being on Marks arm at his socials knowing many of the other women envied me. I was always confident about my looks but never thought of myself as gorgeous. Mark started telling me about some of the off hand comments made by the other soldiers about me. I just told him it was the testosterone talking. I didnt mention it was very flattering. When I heard some other women talking about Louis, whom I thought was intimidating. I was shocked initially. Then embarrassed about what they were saying. I had to admit he was sexy milf in that bad boy kind of way. I dont know why I just didnt keep it to myself. I mentioned the conversation about Louis to Mark. He jokingly laughed it off and I felt embarrassed about bringing it up. Angry at myself for the thoughts I was having. That night Mark was really getting it in. He repeatedly brought up Louis. I did imagine it was Louis pounding my pussy. I had a toe curling orgasm. Afterwards, I panicked and told him it could never happen for real and that he was my one and only. When Mark asked Louis to drive us home after he sprained his ankle. My first though was, why not one of the other guys?. On the drive home my mind was all over the place. Was I making more out of this than what was really there? I was to nervous to sit alone with Louis while Mark showered. I went into the kitchen to make dinner. I felt like I was being watched. It was probably my booze amplified imagination. I went and took a shower trying to clear my head. I composed myself and went back out to the living room. The next thing I know I am watching soft porn! I made a mental note to give Mark hell later. I couldnt help looking at Louis during the movie wondering what he was thinking. The movie ended and Mark asked me to get Louis a towel and clean clothes. I thought, "what the hell!. While Louis was gone Mark brings up his fantasy again. I started to freaking out. For some crazy reason I thought about what my dad would say! I told Mark I couldnt do it and definitely not with him in the same room. Before I could choke Mark. Louis came out from the other room. It was hard not to look at his body. He had an amazing body covered in beautiful tattoos. When I saw his back tattoo I started feeling tingly all over. Still thinking no way in hell could I do anything.....maybe. Now I was super nervous and my mind was going from the gutter back to my dad losing his mind. Then Mark turns the world upside down. When he asked Louis if he wanted to have sex with me and his answer was yes. My first thought was, "he wants me!". The I thought, "Oh me GOD, I cant!". When I looked at Louis and saw he was serious. My nipples started getting hard and my pussy wet. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted him at that moment. I told Mark I was too nervous. When he told me he would stay in the living room. I knew I was losing this battle. I took a deep breath and decided to go for it before I changed my mind. I led Louis into our bedroom not looking back. If I looked back I would have chickened out. I walked in removed my shirt staring straight ahead. When I heard the door close I considered running back out. Louis pressed against me and cupped my breast testing their weight. He started kissing my neck and I tensed up. He asked me if I wanted him to stop. I answered, "No.". I felt his hard dick against me as he tweaked my very hard nipples. He removed my panties and turned me to face him. I let my hand trace down his chest over his ripped stomach to his cock. Marks cock is longer but not as thick. I couldnt come close to wrapping my hand around him. Louis led me onto the bed where we kissed and he went down on me. I had to push him away because I was about to cum. I was trying to be quiet. He kissed his way up and sucked on my rock hard nipples. I was getting so hot and when he started rubbing his big dick up and down my pussy. I hissed, put it in!. When he started I had second thoughts the pressure was crazy. I asked him to go slow. I think I started a slow long orgasm before he took his first stroke. He started fucking me in earnest and I dont know how many times I came. His dick seemed to be hitting every nerve ending in my pussy at the same time. He started breathing heavily. He asked me where he should cum. I remember screaming, "in my pussy!" We laid there in the afterglow. I started thinking about Mark. I couldnt believe how quickly I forgot about Mark being in the next room. Louis fucked me senseless and I loved it. How could I forget about him? I wanted to go out to him but was unsure of how he would react to me enjoying it so much. I ended up falling asleep. Louis woke me sucking my nipples and rubbing my pussy. He pulled me on top and I reached between us and guided him inside me. I still had to work him in slowly, but it felt so good. I rode him as he played with my tits and ass for quite a while. I was so into turned on I know I was getting loud. I squatted over him and bounced up and down as hard and fast as I could. Louis flipped my on my back and pounded my pussy. I had my hands on his ass pulling into me. I came with my face buried in his shoulder. He came shortly after me, filling me up for the second time that night. He collapsed on top of me with his big chest smashed against my big tits. I no longer was nervous and I knew my life had changed forever. I woke up to an empty bed and breakfast cooking. I went into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I looked a mess. My hair looked like Medusa, bite marks on my breast and my lipstick smeared making all over my face. Al around my mouth my skin was red from whisker burns. I took a shower and went to face the music. Mark was eating and very talkative. I was to nervous to look at him. Then he pulls me onto his lap and tells me everything is ok. I was so scared he would regret what happened and be mad that I clearly enjoyed myself. I looked at Louis and knew I wanted to fuck him again. Not at the risk of losing Mark though. I was so confused. I fretted about it for a couple days and then Mark and I talked. He finally convinced me we were ok and he wanted to do it again. The next day Mark said we were going out dancing Friday night. Dancing is something I love to do. I also wondered if Louis would be there. I was both nervous and excited. But what would my daddy say! /u/HomeFlipper1970

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