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twirlingsmilingwriting · 1 year ago

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Tolerate It pt 2 || Young! Coriolanus Snow X Reader

"Now, you're runnin' down the hallway and you know what they all say You don't know what you got until it's gone" You don't need to read pt 1 to understand whats happening but if you want to ITS HERE

https://www.tumblr.com/twirlingsmilingwriting/737294906027098112/tolerate-it-youngcoriolanus-snow-x-reader?source=share

TLDR: Truly feeling like the luckiest person alive when your former classmate and short term boyfriend asked you to marry him. Not even a year into the marriage and also a year into his presidency does the original love and admiration you felt from him start to dissipate. You can't help but feel trapped and tricked into a marriage in which he may have never loved you to begin with.

Warnings: Angst, Love-Bombing, marriage, gender ambiguous reader, typical snow tags (manipulation), alcohol, alluding to sexual acts but not described at the end, kissing, unclear motives, capitol parties, crying

Word count: 3k

a/n I was not going to make a part two to this story originally because I thought it was a one shot but some people asked for a part two and my big juicy brain started making up ideas!! lowkey wanted to title this one "You're Losing Me" for the next part but then it'd be hard to find. Let's pretend its called "You're losing me" :') ~

Dazzling lights decorated the gardens of the capital. I stood on the balcony feeling the wind blow through my hair and the satin of my frilly and extravagant blouse. The sounds of music and people chattering from below filled my ears. I closed my eyes and hummed tuning into the moment. I could hear his voice. He was talking to guests in the plaza. I could hear the smile on face in his voice as he charmed the guests, his charisma grew with each passing day. It was the same charm that led me down the path of falling in love with him. I exhaled the breath I didn't even notice I was holding and opened my eyes to take in the sight again. My eyes followed the sound of his voice and I spotted my husband down by a catering table. His tall, slender figure danced delicately through the air. His posture was different from when I first met him. He was always confident but the air around him felt different now. His aura was different but I truly had no right to judge the character of a man I rarely spoke to these days.

A heavy, dragged sigh escaped my lips and I sat back and watched his tantalizing smile and words tease and enchant the party guests. He parted his hair a different way today. I noticed every aspect of him, the way his shirt fit so snugly around his broad shoulders and draped over his thin waist. The gold watch decorated his wrist ever so gently. Truly, his beauty was delicate. He had such a whimsical and frail appearance but his energy made him seem like he was three times the man he was, the man he wanted to be. His head tilted up and his eyes met mine. I froze like the ice the color of his eyes were. His smile dropped and he nodded at me, letting his eyes do the talking.

'Smile more and come down here'

Instantly, a curated diamond-encrusted smile plastered my face and I dusted off my satin shirt and walked down the stairs of the balcony to the main area ever so carefully. Floating down the steps and through the crowd, my body finally reached his side and I interlocked my arm with his. He smiled down at me and I felt my heart beat a little faster. It felt real, at least to me. I loved it when we had parties because Coryo would adorn me with the affection I missed from him. His hand smoothed down to the small of my back and I looked over to smile at the party guests.

"Good evening y/n, you look dazzling," the capital man said, I'm sure I knew him from somewhere but his face was unrecognizable from the copious amounts of fillers he had put in it. I bowed my head to thank him without saying a word. I wasn't too sure if I was allowed to speak yet. That question would soon be answered when I felt a tug at my arm and I looked up to see my husband smiling at me.

'talk more smile less'

Swallowing my breath, I turned my attention back to the man. "Thank you, you also look fabulous, it is my pleasure to be able to serve such fine guests such as yourself at this party tonight," I spoke softly and confidently. I felt Coryos' nails dig slightly into the flesh of my hand. 'you're talking too much'. Mild frustration bubbled in me but it was cut short by the laughter of the party guest. "wow Snow, you truly know how to keep your partner in check huh?" He joked and Coryo started to laugh too before brushing off the comment and continuing to chat with the man about business, politics, and violence. I started to feel a little awkward but once I felt my husband release his hold on me and tap my hip three times, I knew I was done being his arm candy in this moment. Bowing my head, I excused myself and made something up about how I had to 'tend to the roses'.

Walking through the crowds of people I made sure to smile and wave at the happy partygoers while parting through them like the Red Sea. Arriving finally at a bowl filled with some sort of fruity and alcoholic concoction, I flimsily started to fill myself a cup. Leaning against a pillar by the bowl, I started to sip my drink and watched the people dance when suddenly, I heard a man's voice speaking to me. My eyes drifted to meet his and he started to walk over to me extending his hand out for a handshake.

"Wow... truly I am delighted to be in the presence of the right hand of the ruler of Panem. Hello, y/n, It is truly an honor to make your acquaintance" He said, a cheeky smile spread across his face. His orange curls decoratively fell upon his forehead and he had a certain glimmer in his eyes. He was clearly overjoyed to see me and that made me feel... nice?

"Oh goodness please, save me the formalities. And what might your name be?" I asked taking his hand in mine and shaking it. "Curtis"

"Short and sweet, I like that name"

He smiled even brighter than before and laughed, throwing his head back and retracting his hand from the handshake. He was tall, very muscular, and he just had the most shimmery of brown eyes out there. His appearance almost reminded me of a former classmate of mine, Sejanus but ginger. I smiled back and started to giggle a little from just his laughter.

"Have you been enjoying the party?"

"I've been trying, isn't the night just gorgeous?

"Pardon my boldness, but it truly doesn't compare to the beauty that you are. The night looks good on you." His words were stern and it felt like his voice was dripping in honey. A soft blush danced across my cheeks. It had been so long since the last time I received a compliment that felt so genuine. I chuckled a little and shifted my eyes away from the ones of the man with all the right words to say.

"Coriolanus is a lucky man in so many ways but truly, ending up with you must be his proudest achievement. I'm honestly shocked that you're standing by yourself here now. He is a smart man but not a wise one to let you start to slip away" he continued. I was truly at a loss for words. I felt my heart start to beat faster and I felt guilt bubble up inside of me. I was married and this stranger of a man was making me feel a way I hadn't felt since my wedding day. A chuckle escaped my lips and my eyes reconnected with the brown ones of the man in front of me.

"Please don't flatter me here... I can assure you my husband is a talented, smart, and wise man."

My breathing started to slow down as I tried to calm myself down so the obvious blush would remove itself from my face. I toyed with the cup in my hand and took the last sip. He noticed the cup was empty and offered his hand out to take it from me. He said he could refill it for me and I cautiously handed it over to him watching as he poured me another cup of the fruity drink.

"Here you go"

He handed it back to me with two hands and let his other hand rest on top of my own when he handed it back to me.

"Thank yo-"

My words were cut off quickly by the feeling of cold slender hands on my waist, pulling me back. "y/n, darling, I was looking for you" Coryo spoke lightly and spun me around to face him. His hands ran up my body and rested on either side of my face. His blue eyes stared into my own and a soft smile met his lips. "We have a toast to make sweetheart, who is this?" His cold fingertips rubbed either side of my cheeks and I melted right back into his touch. "This is Curtis, I assumed you invited him." I spoke gently and watched his face. He glared at Curtis and his Adams apple bobbed while he clenched his jaw. He tilted his head slightly at the man then brought his gaze back to me and then looked back at Curtis. His fingers interlocked with mine and instantly a joyful light-hearted feeling filled my body. It was the hand Curtis was just touching so I knew Coryo was trying to prove a point here but god, it felt so good to have him touch me so intimately again. "Well Curtis, I'm a little shocked no one ever told you to stay away from things that aren't yours." His words spoke venomously in my ears and a shiver went down my spine. Mild anger was spread across his face as he held me even closer. The ginger man said something in response but I was too enchanted by my husband to process any of it.

Coryo brought his attention back to me and I felt his hand slide up my body and hold onto the back of my head. It happened so quickly when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine harshly and aggressively. I gasped into the kiss and brought my hands up to either side of his face, holding him ever so gently to not overstep my place. His other hand went right onto the small of my back and he leaned forward more, dipping me. This felt like a scene out of a movie. Warmth started to build up in my breathless figure and he pulled away slowly, scanning my face before he smirked slowly. Some time during the kiss, the man had left and it felt like it was just me and Coryo in the crowd now. I felt a little dizzy, dazed, and confused. My thumbs continued to rub little circles into his cheeks and I smiled and whispered, "I love you." His smirk dropped and he pulled away fully and looked around. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist and he started to drag me to the stairs leading up to the balcony.

I was stumbling over my feet a little trying to keep up with him. When we reached the top of the balcony, Snow looked over at me. His cool and calculated eyes looked me up and down to make sure my appearance was on par with his standards. He exhaled heavily before turning his attention to the people still partying. His booming voice halted the night and the music stopped. The capital guests turned their attention to us in confusion.

"Everyone, I am sorry to end this night so early but I'm afraid circumstances have mixed with their consequences. Before you all disperse, I'd like to make a toast. First, a toast to my beautiful spouse whom I could truly not do anything without"

My heart melted and a warm smile spread across my face. Coriolanus only glanced at me before continuing.

"and lastly, a toast to you all for attending tonight."

He picked up a glass cup that he had resting at the top of the railing and lifted it to the sky. Everyone toasted and took a sip of their drinks. Coryo not so subtly didn't but he placed the cup down and issued another goodbye to the guest before turning to me and placing his hands on my waist again and looked down on me. His expression was unreadable to me. The rest of the party guests started to file out. I heard one masculine voice start to cough violently but as I started to turn my head to look over at the source of the sound, Coriolanus took me by the hand again and dragged me into the house.

He dragged me up to the bedroom and slammed the door. A thick silence started to fill the room. His head was tilted down low, staring at the ground. I stood still and started to fidget with my sleeve. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Do you make me out to be a fool, y/n?"

"W- what?"

"Oh don't play stupid with me now. You have one job and it is to be my partner and I leave you alone for a second and you know what you go and do? You disrespect me. You so aimlessly let another man flirt with you in front of everyone at MY party"

"Coryo I love you so much, another man could never replace you in my heart I promise. I am so lucky to have you" I started to ramble and stammer over my words. He brought his head up slowly to look at me from his side of the room. He looked haunting.

"Look at your hand" he demanded. Nervously, my gaze dropped down to my hand and I noticed it.

"You're not wearing your wedding ring. You can't even try to pretend you like me. That ring shows a promise that we are supposed to be together forever, you are supposed to serve me forever, and you go around, letting other men flirt and flatter you and without your ring above all things. Clearly, this means nothing to you. How am I supposed to tolerate this kind of behavior. You ungrateful piece of-" Tears were welling up in his angry eyes as they threatened to spill from mine. I yelled so loudly I scared myself,

"Stop! Stop! please stop I can't take it! You're losing me Coryo you're losing me! I don't understand. I have given you everything. I have given you the best of me, I polish everything in your life to paint you a blue sky and you have done nothing but blow dust onto the pages of what was supposed to be the story of our love. I don't understand how I am letting myself stay with you, with this man, no this stranger who is nothing but an empty shell, a reminder of what used to be and the relationship I was manipulated into. Coryo I- I want out. I can't be with you anymore" I was crying furiously and shaking. I moved to sit on the edge of the bed and tried to recollect myself. Coriolanus said nothing for a moment before I heard a crack in his voice.

I hadn't noticed that he had moved his way across the room and he now stood by my feet at the edge of the bed. Hot tears streamed down his face. It didn't feel angry anymore though, it felt sad. He suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and held my hands in his. He cried into my knees and I felt my heart shatter.

"I- I'm so sorry y/n... I had no idea you were feeling like this. This is my fault I should be a better husband. Please don't leave, I'll give you everything, every last breath in my chest if I can, I love you... I love you... I love you..." He cried out desperately and I started to cry more too. His sobs were being muffled by my legs. My fingers reached his hair and started to stroke it softly.

"Coryo.... Coryo I love you too... I love you so much. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'd never leave you I promise." He slowly looked up at me with his bloodshot and puffy eyes. His plump lips were lightly parted and his eyes searched mine. I blinked away another tear and reached my arms out to hold him close. His eyes welled up with tears again and his lips pressed downwards into a frown before he stood up again and he leaned down into my arms. I stood up to try and match his level and started to cry into his chest while he cried into my shoulder. His behavior was like a switch, one moment he was angry at me and the next he was so incredibly sad. I can't stand to see Coryo hurt. I love him too much, need him too much. Our bodies rocked back and forth before I whispered another "I love you" into his chest. I felt his lips on my neck for a moment when he smirked against my skin and stopped crying. I was still sobbing into his chest and whispering a mix of sorry's and sweet nothings. Coryo kissed my neck and pulled back.

"It's okay... stop crying, you're an ugly crier for a beautiful face. I love you" He said softly. I couldn't process the legitimacy of anything in this situation. His face relaxed fully and he was looking at me with a blank expression now. I wiped my tears and he smiled weakly before planting a gentle kiss on my lips. I fell into his warmth and fell in love with him all over again in that moment. He pulled back and gave my forehead a little peck.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me darling..." He spoke softly and I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug he mumbled a word into my skin but I couldn't make it out.

"easy..."

PART THREE

#coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth x you #tom blyth x reader #the hunger games #tom blyth imagine #tbosas #president snow #young president snow #fanfiction #fanfic #angst #hunger games #thg series #thg

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mumpsetc · 2 months ago

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Genuinely Asking, (Not sarcastically! This ask comes across as bitchy unintentionally But Im genuinely asking) what do you think the themes of ii are. What the purpose of the story is. Im utterly confused by what you take from each episode. What You analyze and what you don't. Even more so how you think this obvious trick 'ending' Is good at all for the story theyre telling.

Because It feels as though you deeply misunderstand What ii is going for. What its supposed to be. Especially since you called the Relationships petty and useless? Or how you call s3 unimportant (I dont prefer s3 at all, i dislike it in fact. im a huge s1 fan. But to call it uninteresting Is confusing Now that we know what we know.)

So Im curious, What Do You think ii IS about. Why you think adam and justin and brian spent 13 years on this passion project. Because if it was for money, like you've said, why not animate for a Youtube Content farm. Why bother working on this and keeping a plot twist hidden since 2013. Why Would you go into the animation industry specifically siting II as inspiriation for it.

Not what YOU think ii should be about. You've talked about that plenty of times. What IS ii about. What Is the story trying to tell. What is the common Story beats between every single ii contestant, Civilian, and Host.

Now This is an Interesting Ask, and Thank You for Asking It I Enjoy Thinking About Stuff Like This. I Will Be Getting Personal in Response Because I Think This Ask Deserves as Much

To Address a Few Things Off the Bat: I Am a Very VERY Biased Source for a Multitude of Reasons. I Have Been Watching the Show For 8 Years and In That Time Have Picked Up a Lot of Personal and Fandom Related Baggage So I Have a Hard Time Looking at a Character Like Fan Without 8 Years of Feelings Towards Him. Also @ Your S3 Point, I've Actually Been Rewatching Recently to Properly Contextualize It in the Story as Well as View It as a Finished Product. I'm Only 3 Episodes Into That So I Can't Say Much on That Front Currently Other Than a Lot of My Older Opinions on It are Outdated and Also Made When I Was Very Very Angry Haha!

Finally on the General Disclaimers Thing, My Taste in Media is Really Weird in Part Because Inanimate Insanity. I Was Into ii From 13-15 and Then 17-Now. When I Got Back Into it at 17 I Made the Decision to Start Watching Movies and Reading More Books Because I Didn't Want to Limit Myself to ii and Stagnate in My Tastes. This Resulted in Me Seeing a Lot of Things Professionally Known as "Huge Fucking Bummers" and Generally Preferring Bittersweet or Unhappy Endings.

I Like the Fake Ending Because That's What I Typically Enjoy Across the Board. ii Having an Everyone Dies and Mephone Loses Everything End is What Appeals to Me and My Own Interpretation of the Series So I'm Happy. It Might Be Vapid and Emotionally Base But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I Think I'm Allowed As Much.

To Answer Your Actual Question Though, I Think The Themes of ii are

Existing in a Place Like ii is Damaging for Yourself and Others and Takes a Toll on Your Interpersonal Relationships

An Allegory for Being an Artist in General

There's a Few Others Floating Around Like "Forgiveness" and "What's Real on ii?" But These are the Two I Think are the Most Present and Effect Everything, and I Vastly Prefer the First Over the Second. I Think The First Encourages Interesting Character Dynamics and is At Play With Several of My Favorite Characters (Suitcase, Cabby, Apple, Marshmallow, Paintbrush). The Artist Thing Was Always There But I Just Never Really Cared for How They Executed It.

I Get What the Story Is Going For and Can Probably Atleast Make a Ballpark Swing at It's Ending. Its Steven Universe/Pixar Influences are Worn On Its Sleeve and I Get the Point I Do I Do I Do I Promise But I Just Don't Care for That Sort of Thing Anyways. Is That Unfair Towards ii? Yeah.

On Why I Think ABJ Made This? I Can't Say. I Try to Avoid Speculating on Them or Their Intentions Anymore Because I Think the OSC Treats the 3 of Them Very Strangely and I Don't Want to Be Involved With That. I Disagree With Your Sentiment That You Can't Milk a Passion Project for Money and I'll Leave It at That.

Finally, You Asked Why I Cite ii as an Artistic Inspiration Despite How Much I Dislike It. This is Funny Timing Actually, It's My Senior Year in College And We Had to Do an Assignment Breaking Down Why We Animate At All and I Did Talk About Inanimate Insanity for Mine (For 20 Minutes Too). It's a Show That Means a Lot to Me Because It Has Had an Immense Influence on the Direction My Life Has Taken. It's a Very Right Place Right Time Situation for Me and No Amount of Logic Can Override My Very Emotional Outlook on ii.

I've Been Such a Long Time Fan and I Got So Much Wrapped Up in This Goddamn Cartoon and That's Why I Talk About It, I Got a Lotta Thoughts After 8 Years. I Can Admit a Warped Perspective But This is a Casual Thing I Do for Fun, and I Trust Everyone Reading My Blog to Be Smart Enough to Come to Their Own Conclusions.

#AGAIN TY FOR THE ASK SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS PERSONAL ASS RESPONSE #Long Post #This is Probably the Most Personal Ill Ever Get on Here I Like My Privacy and This is My Most Popular Account #Also I Didn't Include This in the Body of the Post But Its Definitely a Factor: I Am Autistic and ii is UNFORTUNATELY My Special Interest #So I Cant Do Much About That. I Tried to Stop Watching Object Shows and It Just Didn't Work Out :/#ii spoilers #Objective Criticism #Dreamy.txt

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laurfilijames · 1 month ago

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🍭 - Ask a creator about one of their favorite creations.

I apologize in advance if you have to do some digging 🥹

In Breathe, you beautifully capture Will’s relationship with himself, his connection to the Reader, and the significance he holds for the Reader through heartfelt lines. What are your top 5 favorite lines that you’ve written?

Rayyyyyyy 💗💗💗💗

Please forgive me for not answering this before the Halloween, trick-or-treating season was over 😬 and also for not listening to the fact that you asked for 5 lines.... because I picked 12 🥴 (I'm so cringe)

I definitely had to do some digging, and I'm so thankful for it because going back and reading through each chapter was the boost I needed to remember how much I love this story and that it's something worth working so hard on and pouring every part of myself into.

So, here are my favourite lines below the cut (to spare everyone else from having to roll their eyes at this) from each chapter 💗

And yes, I chose 2 from chapter 4 🙈

Thank you endlessly for asking this, continuously being so interested in this little world I've created, and being so wonderfully supportive 🫂💗

Chapter 11

“I want you to be my wife,” he spoke carefully and purposefully, his eyes locked on yours.

Chapter 10

...realizing more than ever what it meant to have someone to love you with their whole heart but knowing that if there was such a thing as luck in this world, he had taken it all.

Chapter 9

It was almost thrilling in a way, acting as if you weren’t head over heels in love with each other and were strangers instead, sharing loaded glances across the tables that separated you that gave a hint of the types of fantasies playing out in your minds that were in fact very real and recent memories, feeling like every song that played was about you.

Chapter 8

You were completely alive, breathing and writhing with life in his arms, your blood flowing in every part he touched, his hands awakening every fiber in you.

There was no questioning the falsity of his dream now, your euphoria solidifying your vitality, your body full of life as it shuddered with vigor because of him, the devastation of being the reason you wouldn’t breathe again leaving him with each second he was encased in you.

Chapter 7

Breathe, your mind begged, but kissing him was better than breathing.

Chapter 6

Will couldn’t bring himself to look at you again as he made his way over to the door, knowing damn well that he was yours as much as you were his, his entire heart left behind with you as he walked out.

Chapter 5

“Then use me until you’ve had your fill,” you offered, knowing you would never regret falling hard and fast for him even if it ended in disaster.

Chapter 4

It was unclear what had woken you up; the feel of a heavy body cast across yours that you weren't used to, the foreign sounds of a different house creaking as it settled into the subtly cooler temperature of the night, or simply every part of you rousing to tell you it needed more of him.

You smiled when you opened the door to see him in the exact position as when you had left, flat out on his stomach with one leg hooked up, the moon highlighting the perfect curve of his ass and capturing the soft fuzz covering it, turning the tousled hair on his head silvery.

Chapter 3

No one else had ever made him feel like this, making him want to lose control, and everything in him knew you would be his undoing the moment he laid eyes on you.

Chapter 2

You watched faithfully as he stood and walked away, admiring how his jeans fit over his ass just as you did with his shorts or track pants at the gym, finding your senseless desire growing for him in a way you were sure you could no longer handle.

Chapter 1

Will leaned against the side of his truck as he waited, sighing to himself while he attempted to sort out everything he was feeling; the mix of wanting to lean in and trust you overpowering his usual go-to of staying distant and playing it safe, all of which was confirmed when you walked out the doors and instantly brought an easy smile to his face.

#asks #Breathe series #will miller

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ericshoney · 7 months ago

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My Professors ~ Part two

Warnings: Yandere!TBZ, manipulation, bratty!reader, dark!TBZ, swearing, violence, mentions of kidnapping.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week. A week had passed since I was tricked into dinner with my professors. After I had woken up, they had explained to me this was all a set up just to get me to them, they weren't real professors, no qualifications, nothing. It was all a trick. However, I wasn't making things easy for them. I had tried to escape three times already, which resulted in a lot of shouting and being locked in a room, but they've taken me against my will, so I'm going to make it hard for them.

"Dinner."

I looked up and saw Chanhee at the door, I sighed and slowly got up, following him downstairs to the dining room where all the others were.

"Aren't you looking beautiful sweetheart~" Sangyeon said with a smirk.

"Fuck you." I spat, sitting down between Changmin and Jacob.

"Don't be rude." Changmin growled, placing a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"Don't take people against their will then." I responded.

He glared at me as dinner was served. The guys started to eat as I slowly joined in, everyone was quiet as we ate, so I took that as my opportunity to ask questions.

"Why did you take me?" I asked the group.

"We've watched you for a while, your sweet and pretty, make an amazing doll." Jacob answered.

"Just got to work on that big mouth of yours." Kevin added.

"Shut up." I replied

"We'll get there though. Just need to....break you." Jacob continued, looking at me with a dark glint in his eyes.

"It won't work." I said standing my ground.

"It will and we don't mind how long it takes." Sunwoo replied.

"Why not go find another person to talk to?" I asked.

"We want you, it's simple." Eric answered.

"I don't want to be here. Can't you get that through your fucking heads!" I shouted.

"Calm down, darling. You'll learn to accept it and soon love it here. Your ours forever." Hyunjae said.

"No! Just no!" I exclaimed, standing from my chair.

"Sit down." Juyeon said sternly.

"I don't take orders from you!" I screamed, running upstairs to the bedroom and locking the door. A few seconds later, there was banging on the door.

"Fucking hell, open the door!" Haknyeon shouted.

"No!" I screamed.

I sat on the bed, holding my head as the banging continued and suddenly the door was broken down, falling to the floor with a thud. I sighed when I felt all the guys stand around me, someone placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You can hate us all you want sweetheart, but in time you'll learn to accept us and this situation. We love you and are only keeping you safe." Sangyeon said quietly.

"Whatever." You grumbled.

"Lose the attitude." Younghoon said.

"Never." You said, looking up at him with a smirk.

"Don't start something you can't finish babe." He replied. You rolled your eyes and looked out the locked window.

"Your sleeping in my room tonight." Juyeon said.

"No thanks, got a perfectly good bed here." You responded, laying on your bed.

"It wasn't a question." He said, pulling you up by your arm.

"Let go!" You screamed.

"Shut up." Kevin said, copying you from eariler.

You glared at him as Juyeon dragged you to his room. You sighed again, wondering how much more fight you had in you.

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 4 months ago

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OC questionnaire

Thanks @theeccentricraven here, @somethingclevermahogony here, @the-golden-comet here, and here, @happypup-kitcat24 here, @mysticstarlightduck here, and here, and @writingamongther0ses here!

Rules: answer the given questions as an OC, then provide three more questions!

Welcome to Round Three! Eight in one worked well enough, so I'm cutting it off here for now. Yes, I still have more tags in this game.

Find the Masterpost for all previous OC questionnaires here!

Some of these were a giant questionnaire but I recognized several sets I've answered before in the regular tag, so I just selected ones I haven't done yet.

See below Maddie, Ash, Noelle, Ewan, Jazlyn, Lexi, Alex, and Carmen!

#1 - Maddie

What is your favorite song/book/movie/show/game/story/tale/other media form to quote from?

“I reference Star Trek a lot. It's fun because not a lot of kids my age get it. But Wade gets them. And my sister Lexi of course.”

If you could replace one person in your life, who would it be?

“Brycen. With a nicer Brycen.”

If you could make one thing in life easier going forward, what would it be?

“Hm. I would get rid of boredom. I hate being bored.”

✨ Maddie intro post ✨

#2- Ash

Do you have any nicknames? If not, what should they be?

“Ash is a nickname. I really don't like Ashley. Ugh, just saying it makes me cringe. It's almost like Ash is my real name, haha. But I can't think of any other nickname I could go by.”

What is the bravest thing you've ever done?

“... I think standing up to Mr. Jimenez and admitting I was wrong to Lexi. Confronting those feelings and issues.”

Are you a good liar?

“... I have no idea. I don't particularly like lying. But I have to around Mary's family. I think I'm okay. They seemed convinced enough.”

✨ Ash intro post ✨

#3- Noelle

What is the most important meal of the day?

“... What, is this a trick question? Of course it's breakfast. It's a breaking of the fast from the previous night - that's why it's called breakfast. So many people skip breakfast or barely have anything for breakfast, and it's super unhealthy. Hye-Jin has a protein shake?! I'm slowly introducing my friends to healthy breakfasts that will make sure their 'not hungry in the morning' bodies get the nutrients they need to ensure they have decent amounts of energy for the rest of the day. [Pause as she realizes how much she has spoken] So, yeah, my answer is breakfast.”

What drives you to succeed?

“Drives me to succeed? That's an odd question. I just do things so I can succeed. I'm my own person, and I just do what's necessary. I also want to make my mom proud of me.”

Have you ever gambled? (Not just with money)

*gapes* “No? That sounds irresponsible.”

Other Noelle: OC in three, OC in fifteen, bingo, bag, origin, outfit, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, fun facts, picrew

#4- Ewan

If you had to decide between rescuing your beloved and keeping your clothes nice, which would it be?

“What kind of question is that??? Why would I keep my clothes nice over rescuing Jazlyn??! I - I mean, my, uh *clears throat* my beloved....”

What is your favorite place to be?

“The Farmington Theme Park. Jazlyn and I met there.”

What was the worst thing you've ever been forced to do, either by orders, or by circumstances?

“The worst thing? That's hard to say... A few years ago, Jazlyn, Tyler, and I uncovered some stuff with our friend Anathi, and we were forced to leave without Anathi. Not being able to confirm what happened to him was the worst part.”

Other Ewan: OC in three, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, kiss, Picrew

#5- Jazlyn

What is your worst nightmare?

*laughs* “I do not get nightmares. I mean, if I did have a nightmare, it would probably be me fighting this one character in the amusement park and in fighting this loser, I lose control of my powers and everything catches on fire and everyone I know and love gets caught in the flames and burns alive right before my eyes while I can do nothing to stop it. But, y'know, that's if I had a nightmare.”

Do you have any favorite bedtime routines?

“I put on lotion, put my hair up, put on my nightcap, and crawl into bed. That's it. That's the end of it. It's just going to bed. Though sometimes Ewan and I will throw on a movie and we'll fall asleep together.”

What's your favorite scent?

“It is absolutely lavender. We have lavender everything in our house. Everything that can be lavender is.”

Other Jazlyn: OC in three, interview, picrew, kiss, questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#6- Lexi

How do you feel about crying? Let it out or hold it in?

“Unfortunately, I have to let it out. I can't control my crying. Honestly, I don't think you should be ashamed to cry. Like, it's natural. I mean, I'm annoyed that everyone thinks I'm a crybaby, but I'll get over it. I can't hold in my tears even if I wanted to.”

Who do you live for? Why?

“All of my friends, of course! And that includes Maddie. I have to live for them because of how much I care, obviously! I love hanging out with them and having fun! I just can't bring myself to let them down. I mean, they do so much for me! It wouldn't be right.”

What style of accessories do you wear? Is it willingly?

“Uh, yeah it's willingly! I wear some jewelry, but usually it's just a simple necklace and cute earrings. I got my ears pierced for my sixth birthday, which was before people touching me bothered me. I usually just wear studs, but sometimes I'll wear something else!”

✨ Lexi intro post ✨

#7- Alex

Are you a jealous person?

“Pffft, nooo! What is there to be jealous of? I mean, it's not like I need attention from everyone 24/7 or I'll die or anything! For crying out loud, it's okay if I share the spotlight! [Pause] oh my goodness I sound jealous. That was not my intention, I'm actually being genuine!! Great, now they don't believe me.”

Have you ever committed a crime?

“Woahhh hoolllld up, what kinda question is that? Hahaha, that's actually really funny. I've jaywalked before, I guess? *Beckons you closer, whispers* okay, I've stolen some candy bars from a convenience store before, heehee. It's not my fault they're not warding off teleporters.”

Are you neat or messy?

“Oh, so messy. So, so, so messy. Y'know that's the biggest difference between myself and Lexi. She freaks out if there's something outta place or something doesn't go according to plan, but not me! On that last question, I think the most illegal thing she's ever done is talk when the teacher is talking, hahaha!”

Other Alex: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#8- Carmen

What's your favorite movie?

“I don't have time to watch movies. [Pause... pause...pause...] Alright, when I was younger, I used to watch this one movie called *cringe* A Love Forged In Time. Completely ironically, of course. It was about a modern chronokinetic falling in love with a scientist who was on the council that organized the database. Science fiction, of course, since chronokinetics can't travel through time. I only watched it because I liked the actor who played the scientist. [Pause as she's realized she's revealed too much!!!!!] It is no longer my favorite movie because I don't watch movies anymore!”

How do you get along with your in-laws, if you have any?

“I don't have in-laws.” She is suddenly uncomfortable and refuses to talk more about it.

What would be your favorite store at the mall?

“I don't know how Ceteri malls are, but I usually went to stores that had home organizers and stationary. Now, leave me alone to work!”

Other Carmen: OC in three, OC in fifteen, Picrew, interview, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, smash or pass, two truths and a lie, art

Woo! Finally done with this post. This was fun.

I'll tag... @elizaellwrites @kaseylynnwriting @ohnomybreadsticks @winterandwords @oh-no-another-idea

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's questions are: 1) What's your favorite thing to do when you're alone? 2) Who is the person you're most jealous for and why? 3) What is one thing a person could do that will immediately turn you off from them?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

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destinygoldenstar · 11 months ago

Text

I Answer The Would You Rather Questions From TD2023 Episode 17

(IK what you're gonna say about the title, idc, I'm calling it one long season because I feel like it)

youtube

Here's the video I'm basing this off of in case you're curious.

Would You Rather...

A) Camp in a Graveyard for a month

B) Go without toilet paper for a week

I WANT to say I wouldn't be scared cause zombies aren't real, BUT I'd be lying cause in real life, I'm anxious like no tomorrow. Plus at least with the other it's a lesser timespan.

(I relate to Damien so hard with this one.)

Would You Rather...

A) Have to wear clown makeup for a year

B) Have your direct messages made public

I don't actually DM that much, most you'd find are a bunch of sex bots that I blocked immediately, and other than that it's really just me answering people's questions about media. So I can't really say I'd lose much.

But honestly, I think clown makeup is actually pretty fun. Didn't say I wouldn't get to design the makeup myself. I'd just be cosplaying as Pomni, and I think I'd be okay with that cause Pomni is adorable.

A ; For the fun of it

Would You Rather...

A) Lose the passwords to all your devices everyday

B) Spend the entire next school year in a hot dog costume

Jokes on you Chris, I'm not in school anymore.

I SUCK at passwords anyway. So, NO THANKS.

Would You Rather...

A) Be Hockey Superstar *Whatever he said*

B) Be the puck that scored the game winning goal in the 1980 cup finals

One, I am not a sports person let alone a hockey person

Two, I was not alive in the 1980s!

I'd go with B cause I don't want to 'be other people'. I do that in fiction already and with my cynical online persona. I don't do that in real life.

Would You Rather...

A) Slide naked down a ski hill

B) Spend a day in a wave pool that uses bark instead of water

I hate the cold. So let alone being naked, it would suck.

But swimming in VOMIT?!

NO THANKS

Would You Rather...

A) Popcorn that tastes like poop

B) Poop that tastes like popcorn

NEITHER.

Straight up. NEITHER.

I hate both of these so much. I do not understand how Zee can possibly pick one without hesitation. (Then again, it is Zee, so...)

I am SUCH a sensitive eater. I will vomit no doubt at both of these.

I guess technically one isn't s**t, it's just the flavor sucks, so... A?

But if there was an option to pick C, I'd do it.

Screw the rules of this challenge. make it a trick question and have the person fall no matter what. TROLL, Chris. Why wasn't there a troll like that in the challenge? I'm surprised.

Would You Rather...

A) Take truth serum and be questioned by Chef

B) Only be able to eat Chef's cooking for a whole year

Again, sensitive eater over here.

DEFINITELY A.

Would You Rather...

A) Eat a bowl of toenail clippings

B) Not shower for a month

I'm actually tolerant to nail clippings, but AGAIN...

He said SHOWER, he said nothing about baths, swimming, deodorant, washing your hands and face, etc. So YEAH, it's actually not that bad if you think about it.

Would You Rather...

A) Eat 200 Lemons

B) Wrestle your best friend's grandpa

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHOICES THAT INVOLVE EATING SOMETHING?!

I'm a softie, so I'd lose, BUT...

My best friend in particular actually hates her grandparents. So she'd love me if I wrestled them, even if I'd lose.

Would You Rather...

A) Eat pudding directly from a gorilla's armpit

B) Jump from a plane with a parachute packed by your ex

In the episode, they make this sound worse than it actually is.

Or maybe that's just me because I actually DON'T HAVE AN EX

(At the time I am posting this)

HA! GOTCHA!

Even if I were to break up with my partner just for the sake of doing this, (then get back with her afterwards) she is very skilled with this sort of stuff, has made several crafts like this, and I trust her completely.

Usually I'd hate falling, or anything that involves a vertical motion like that, BUT there's a parachute so it wouldn't be that bad.

And at this point, you'd know I'd do basically anything to get out of eating nasty stuff. If my choices are something to go off of my character.

Would You Rather...

A) Fight one bear

B) Fight 100 Rabid Kittens

I'd lose no matter what.

I am a HUGE cat person, so at least I'd be used to the kitten's scratching and biting. And maybe I'd tame them rather than fight them. That's my method of fighting.

Bear? I'd DIE.

(Also i love Wayne and Raj here. They're so cringe in the wholesome way)

Would You Rather...

A) Give up texting for five years

B) Lose your bathing suit at a crowded wave pool

I text my partner ALL THE TIME, and I will NEVER GIVE THAT UP

At least with this option I could just run away, just one embarrassing moment rather than stuck there for five years or something.

And if someone said took a video of me and posted it, uh, JAIL FOR THEM, CAUSE THAT'S ILLEGAL

Would You Rather...

A) Dirt poor but celebrated as a great poet

B) A filthy rich lawyer who puts guilty criminals back on the street

Hello. I'm a writer.

I ain't gonna put people in danger like that.

Would You Rather...

A) Be genetically merged with a warthog

B) Have Chris McLean as your dad

First off, who f****d a warthog to begin with?

You know Chris as a person, you know it would be AWFUL

Looks don't matter, I'd say

Would You Rather...

A) Apologize for something you're not sorry for

B) Go bald by the time you're 23

In the episode they act like this is a really hard one because it's Chase.

I knew what he was gonna say right away. You see ONE episode with this guy, you KNOW his answer.

SERIOUSLY EMMA, HE'S YOUR EX, HOW DO YOU SCREW THAT UP?! HOW?!

Anyway, for MY answer,

I'm not a jerk.

Yeah I have stuff I'm not sorry for, but it is leagues better than hair loss. Let me tell you.

Also I realized Julia didn't get questioned at all. What's up with that?

What are your answers? Reblog them. I'm curious.

#total drama #total drama 2023 #td damien #td bowie #td priya #td wayne #td nichelle #td zee #td scary girl #td emma #td chase #td caleb #td millie #td mk #Youtube #td axel #td raj

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lastoneout · 2 years ago

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I think it comes down to an unfortunate side effect of the fact that we use stories to teach people(mostly children) morals all the time, it kinda gives people the idea that every single story must be imparting some kind of binary, black and white moral lesson and it's up to you to learn that lesson so if/when you are faced with that situation you won't fail. Problem is not a lot of stories are actually "how to avoid becoming the shit idiot bastard who fucked everything up" and are instead just us as humans explaining and exploring aspects of ourselves.

Like, idk it's 3am so forgive me, but if we really try to think about what the moral of the myth of Orpheus is...idk it's hard to settle on one? Blindly trust the gods even when they've tried to trick you in the past just in case this time they don't? Eh, I'm not convinced. Or maybe something like don't let your grief consume you because there is no future in looking back? Idk none of that really feels right and I think it's cuz this isn't one of those "teaching you to be a good, smart person" stories and you can't really treat it that way, at least not on a such a surface level as how to not look back.

It's a story about grief. It's a tragedy. We are supposed to become invested in it and it's characters and weep for their tragic, unceremonious end just as we become invested in each other and weep when our own tragic, often unceremonious ends come. It's a story about humanity by humanity, us looking at ourselves, trying to make sense of our existence. It's catharsis for those of us who have suffered grief and practice for the rest, a place for us to engage with grief safely from a distance so when it comes for real it isn't a complete stranger, and to remind us that we are not alone in our suffering.

I do think there is something beautifully human about trying to give tragedies happy endings, and hell I'm legit writing a story heavily inspired by this very myth with a happy ending, but yeah Orpheus and Eurydice's story is not a trick question to be solved or a black and white moral lesson, it's a tragedy meant to evoke emotion. It's supposed to be frustrating because trying to make sense of loss and death and grief is frustrating. It's supposed to hurt because losing someone you love hurts. And maybe in a way it is supposed to make you upset with Orpheus, because we all think we're the exception, refuse to accept the mortality if ourselves and the ones we love, or that we will handle things better and get the goodest ending and suffer the least, but he couldn't overcome it in the end even when, in theory, it seems so simple. Our frustration with him is just a reflection of our frustration with ourselves. With the futility of it all, trying to solve a problem with no answer.

I mean we really do all sit here trying to solve this story but honestly there was no other way it could have gone! They were always going to lose each other eventually. Orpheus was only delaying the inevitable, and maybe they're better off for it, or maybe they aren't(I think there is something to be said for fighting for your loved ones even when you know it's hopeless), but he couldn't change things. Not this time.

Maybe that's the moral, then. That death is cruel and sudden and merciless and even the greatest heroes and poets cannot stop it, so rather than try you should cherish your loved ones while you have them because eventually we will all be left looking back.

Anyway, tacking on this quote from that post about how Orpheus looking back is just evidence of how much he loved Eurydice bcs I love it and think it's relevant:

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

#sorry it is 3am I have insomia and I am simply riffing #pls feel free to ignore me #also it's been a while since I read anything so I might have details wrong #love does make you stupid and insane tho

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wakewithgiggli · 2 years ago

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Trance Tips

Here are a set of suggestions for going into trance I have shared a few times on Second Life, and I've had good feedback on them. Some of the text assumes that hypnosis is exciting for you - ignore those bits if it's not a fetish :)

There's a lot of stuff down below, but it boils down to just a few simple things. See if any of them work for you.

When a hypnotist gives you a suggestion, act on it even if you aren't hypnotised.

When you are being tranced, imagine going into hypnosis

Know that you can always reject a suggestion and wake up from a trance

If your mind wanders, don't worry. When you realise your mind is wandering, just relax and focus on the words of the hypnotist .

repeat in your head everything the hypnotist says: if it says, "you are feeling sleepy," tell yourself, "I am feeling sleepy."

Try to get into a comfortable position for the trance, and if you become uncomfortable during the trance, just let yourself shift back to a comfortable position and then relax: you might need to do this several times but you can stay in trance while doing it.

If you have a FEAR OF LETTING GO, check out that section below.

Whenever you think about how hard it is to go into trance, tell yourself, "Everyone can go into trance. I can go into trance. I just need practice." You'll get there.

Look for a safety trance and use it. If part of the reason you aren't going into trance is an unconscious fear, this will help allay that.

Don't be impatient - it'll come in time.

EXPLANATIONS

You know I said it took me a while before I started to go into trance? During that time, I joined a lot of hypnosis groups and asked for advice, and read a lot about hypnosis. Here are some of the best tips I got, that I can remember:

FAIT ACCOMPLI

Hypnosis cannot happen without consent or permission. Also, if you ACT like you are being hypnotised, this can trick the conscious mind into becoming hypnotised. This is why during a trance, hypnotists ask a lot of questions with answers that are always "yes". Every time that you agree with the hypnotist, you get closer and closer to trance. You are conditioning your mind to do what the hypnotist suggests. Likewise, if the 'tist tells you to do something, like raise your arm or close your eyes, just do it - you are training your mind to be obedient to hypnosis. If the tist tells you that you can't open your eyes, no matter how hard you try, then let yourself strain and tense your eyelids, but don't open your eyes. You know it's not real to start with, but don't tell yourself that - tell yourself it is real, you can't move or open your eyes or whatever. At some point, your mind will learn that this is the proper way to act, and you'll respond automatically. That's a delicious feeling.

HYPNOSIS IS NOT (QUITE) MIND CONTROL

In fact, no matter how deep you are or how helpless you feel, you can ALWAYS reject the hypnotist's instructions. If the tist tells you that you can't move, you can always reject that suggestion - but you will feel so good that you just don't do it. THAT is what hypnosis is - it's not being controlled by someone else, it's surrendering control to someone else. If there's an emergency, like a fire alarm, or just some disruption like an insistent knock at the door, or a hypnotist gives a bad suggestion ("give me your credit card number"), you will instantly wake up. This demonstrates that you can wake up when you need to, or when you really want to. The thing is, under hypnosis, it feels so good, that you just don't want to - so you lie there, feeling weak, helpless, and horny. Eagerly waiting for instructions.

RELAX AND CONCENTRATE

These two ideas seem a bit contradictory. Hypnosis is a state of focused concentration: you concentrate on the hypnotist or source of hypnosis, to the exclusion of everything else. While your mind is focused on the hypnotist, your body relaxes. Don't be disheartened if your mind wanders and you lose focus - this is normal. It happens to me in every trance. I'm being told to sink deeper, and I'll suddenly remember a funny line from a comedy, or remember a task I meant to get done. But this is fine. When you notice it happening, just tell yourself to relax, to focus on the words or the spiral or whatever - to let whatever it was fade away so you are focussed on the hypnotist again. It's perfectly natural for your mind to wander like this, and it doesn't stop you from trancing. As I say, just relax, and focus on the spiral or the words, and you'll be happily falling again.

Also, don't try too hard: if you are excited about going into trance, and desperately want to do it, this can stop you from relaxing and focussing properly. So, just try to put all that out of your mind, clear your mind, relax, and focus on the words.

One good way to achieve this is to simply repeat in your head everything the hypnotist (or hypnotron) says to you. If it says, "you are feeling sleepy," tell yourself, "I am feeling sleepy." This helps focus your attention on the trance.

YOU CAN BE IN TRANCE WITHOUT REALISING IT

I mentioned I'd been trancing for a long time before I finally fell into trance. The truth is, that was the moment I learned to recognise I was in trance - and I suddenly realised I had been going into trance for a while already. I just hadn't been able to recognise it. For many people, trance just feels like being calm, or relaxed. It doesn't feel very different from being awake. When they do it regularly, only then do they realise they were going into trance all along. People who are going into trance without realising it WILL still obey suggestions given unless they reject them. Sometimes they reject suggestions because they think they are not hypnotised. "I'm not going to do that, because I'm not hypnotised." So the suggestion doesn't work.

So, you never know, it's possible you are going into trance already, but the fact that you think you aren't means it's not working for you. So remember to follow the FAIT ACCOMPLI rule above: tell yourself you are going into trance. The unconscious will sooner or later make it true.

FEAR OF LETTING GO

One thing that holds a lot of people back from going into trance (and this was my big stumbling block, too) is some sort of fear. Fear of losing control, of being at the mercy of someone else, or whatever. Now, there is no reason to fear, since you can always break a trance and reject a suggestion. But fear is irrational and knowing there is nothing to fear doesn't always help. In my case, I only got over this by almost giving up: I had come to the conclusion that hypnosis was never going to work on me, so there was no point worrying. And then, suddenly, I went into trance.

But there is another way to get around it. Here is a suggestion that was given to a hypnosis group by a veteran hypnotist. As you are getting ready to go into trance, imagine you are splitting into two people. One of you will be lying down, falling into trance, and the other will be hovering above, watching your sleeping form. The watcher, your guardian, will be alert, ready to wake up the sleeper if anything uncomfortable happens, while the sleeper can relax perfectly in the knowledge that they are being watched over. Visualise this, and imagine watching your sleeping self succumbing to the suggestions as they are given. I have used this technique (I use it a lot generally) and it works for me. It's worth a try.

Finally a third thing you can do is go though the trance without entering trance: watch, read or listen (as appropriate), but don't fall into trance. You can then assure yourself that you feel safe doing that trance. Next time, play the trance and let yourself go - you will probably get a little deeper than you were.

POSTURE AND STIMULATION

One final set of advice: try to get comfortable. Slide down in your chair so your head is supported at the back, or get a cushion and put it behind your neck. If during the trance you start feeling uncomfortable, let yourself shift to a more comfortable position - you CAN move around, even respond to questions, while remaining in trance. If the discomfort isn't too great, wallow in it and tell yourself - "this is uncomfortable, but I can't move because I'm in trance." That is a great little suggestion you can give yourself to make a trance more effective. If a trance tells you to play with yourself, or you feel the need to touch yourself, RESIST that suggestion. Physical stimulation will easily break a trance until you're able to go deeper. Instead, imagine you are doing what the tist tells you - imagine touching yourself and imagine feeling how that would make you feel.

CONCLUSION

Whew, that's a lot of text. I hope you find it helpful. And hopefully, others will add to it. I'll add a bunch of hypnosis-related names that pop into my head here and run the risk of offending a bunch more people by forgetting to include them in the moment...

@scifiscribbler @ellaenchanting @ladyruetha @jukeboxemcsa @curiosa-hypnotica @hipnoespadachin @sweettist @hypnoobiwan @tennfan2 @sex-obsessed-lesbian @theleeallure @h-sleepingirl @accidental-muse @loveablerogue1 @hypno-sandwich @deepthrall @hypnopassion @erogenousmind

#trance tips #hypnotists #giggli speaks #hypnotips #hypnosis tips

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sheabuttahwrites · 2 years ago

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in the Morning

story masterlist Shea Buttah Bakery Masterlist

II.

“Mhmm. So, Yahya, what’s on your mind?”

He raised his brow before he spoke. His face was so expressive. “On some real shit?”

“I mean, if it’s not too much to ask.”

“Aight, then. I'm thinkin’ about that lil robe you got on.”

I glanced down at the lightly colored silk draped over my body. “What about it?”

“…Mostly what’s up under it.”

“Ooooh,” I sang, nodding through the realization. “So, that’s why you wanted me to stay. Ok.”

“Naaah!” He succumbed to his own laughter, dropping his head down into it. “You asked. I'm just bein’ honest.”

“Mhmm… you really wanna know what’s under here?”

“If you wanna tell.”

“I’ll tell you… since you so cute.”

“Mmmm. But check out my view, though.”

“Anyway.” I rolled my eyes, showing him all of my teeth and gums. I swear this man had me so outside my element, it wasn't even funny. I never acted like this. But, my goodness, I was so attracted to him, I just couldn't help myself. “It’s a sweatsuit.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep. Joggers with the matching hoodie.”

“They must be invisible then.”

“Yeah,” I said, checking out my outfit for myself once again. “This some exclusive shit Nike just dropped.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. Fresh, right?” I looked up just in time to catch his reaction, admittedly excited to see if he could play along.

“Some of the freshest shit I ever seen. I gotta tell them that’s a good look.”

Ok, he was just as crazy as me. I laughed way too hard. Way too hard. “So silly.” Then I pulled the shoulder of my robe down some, exposing the strap of my bra and covering it again. “But there’s a little something underneath.”

“Let me see.”

“See what?” I frowned, but it was overshadowed by a sly grin. I knew what I was doing, I wasn't confused at all.

“That exclusive shit you wearin’.”

“Well… if I show you, it won't be exclusive anymore.”

“Ok, ok,” he nodded, returning my sly smile. “So, Miss Exclusive, anybody don’ snatched you up?”

My face went sour before I knew it, but I reeled it back. “Not at all. They be trying, but I be ducking ‘em and dodging ‘em like the police.”

He busted out laughing after I showed him an example of my clean, swift technique. “Damn.”

“I ain’t playing, I’m like The Matrix,” I half joked, laughing with him. “What about you, though? Anybody made an honest man out of you?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but sudden awareness stopped him and narrowed his eyes. “…Is that a trick question?”

I fell out. “Are you single or nah?”

“I am.”

“So, you still in these streets then. Ok.”

“Haaa! You got jokes, huh?”

“I’m just messing with you.”

“I know. I don’t mind.”

By this point, that beautiful smile had become a permanent fixture on that beautiful face of his. And it was pushing me further and further over the edge, no matter how much I didn't want to admit that I was affected. The pressure was palpable, and it was so effortless. I mean, all he was doing was sitting there and I was extremely bothered. Omarion would be so disappointed. Still, baby was looking good enough for a chick to crawl right through the screen. And you could call me Samara.

“Your smile is so nice,” I finally said. He probably already knew, but I just had to tell him again.

“Thank you. I’m enjoyin’ yours as well.”

“Mhmm.” As I sat in unusually comfortable silence waiting for the conversation to carry on, I found myself playfully twirling my earring. Whatever. There was no need to try and hold back now. Might as well just go ahead and lose the rest of myself in front of this man. As my stubborn interior obviously conceded to my pitiful exterior, I could hear ‘In The Morning’ by J. Cole start to play.

“I hope you don't mind, I needed some background noise.”

“Oh, no worries. I love this song.” Instinct and a spellbinding beat closed my eyes as I began to vibe. Yahya turned the volume up some.

“You wanna strip to it?” He started to crack up straight away, probably only to hide the fact that he wasn’t playing.

“You so rude. Nasty self.” I rolled my eyes, but his laughter was contagious. “Nobody’s asking you to get naked.”

“You gotta try me, mama. You never know what you might get if you just use the right words.”

“Oh. Is that so?”

“Absolutely.”

“Ok.” If he wanted to take it there, I was just the one to test how far he was willing to go. “…Take off your shirt.”

With no form of hesitation, he reached to the bottom of his long sleeve tee and began to pull it over his head.

My eyes popped open. “Oh my gosh, you are big.” The words had slipped out of my mouth without a single thought. Sooo embarrassing. Naturally, I had to hide my face after that. My eyes backpedaled, squeezing themselves shut, and down into my hand it went. “Ooh, I did not mean to say that out loud.”

“You meant it, though.”

“I did,” I cried, shaking my head at myself and making him laugh. “I bet you work out constantly.” As soon as my eyes were on him again, the fight to not stare was on. He looked like a home cooked meal and I had gone unfed far too long.

“Mmm, lately. Not always, though.”

“See, I can't be bothered. I get in about 2 or 3 workouts a week. Just to stay active.”

“More than most.”

“If I had the discipline, I could look like you,” I said, looking over at the thickness of my arm as I showed off the nonexistent muscle definition. He chuckled.

“You don't need to look like me. Trust me, whatever you doing, keep doing that shit.”

“I do have an ab. If I suck in real hard and hold my breath, it’s right here.” I sat up some and grabbed the upper right side of my stomach. “Why you laughing? I’m for real.”

“Nah, be proud of your ab.”

“I am,” I giggled. “I’ve been trying to get it a lil companion across the way.”

“Well, I have six over here I could introduce it to. Maybe they can be friends.”

“That does sound like a lot less work for me.”

“I mean, not necessarily. It depends.”

That amused disgust from a little earlier found its way back to my face. “What it depend on?”

“A lot of things. But mostly how well they get along. They might really like each other, in which case, it could mean a lot more work for you.”

“But will I like this work, though? Because this doesn't sound like something I would be opposed to.”

“You might run from it at first, but I think you'll like it.”

“Nah,” I quickly objected, half my face crumpled as I shook my head, “I don’t do too much running.” I watched as his grin grew along with mine, punctuated with a cute ass laugh. He glanced down just as I was biting my lip. Wooo, lord.

“Aight.”

I needed something to change the subject, and fast, before my panties melted right off my body. He started to fiddle with the hair on his chin and I saw my opportunity. “Do we both have wrist tattoos?”

“Do we?” He looked down at both of his. “I have one on each wrist, actually.”

“Oh, I only caught a glimpse of the one. Let me see.”

“This one right here is me and my dad.” There were two little stick figures, one taller than the other. “And this one is a ladybug for my mom. She used to call me Bug.”

“Oh my god, that’s so sweet. Me and my sisters got this together.” I showed him the heart connected by the first and last ‘S’ of the word ‘Sisters’ written in cursive across the width of my wrist. “Well, not the youngest one, but she will one day.”

“That’s dope. Yall must be really close.”

“Thank you. Yeah, we are.”

He nodded. “Well, that’s it for me. You got anymore?”

“Just one. I want more, though. A lot more.”

“Nothing wrong with that. Is it ok for me to see the other one?”

“Um,” I looked toward my ankle hanging over the edge of the bed, wondering how I would get it into the camera, “…yeah. It’s at the bottom of my leg, though, so let me see how I’ma do this.”

“Aight.”

“Uuuuh…” I put my foot up onto the bed and tried folding the top of my computer down to the inside of my ankle where my two little butterflies resided, but it didn't work.

“Girl, I can’t see shit.”

I smacked my lips, laughing right after. “I know. Hol’ on.”

“Work it out. I’m just playin’ with you.”

“Mhmm.” I sat there for a few more seconds before the perfect solution hit me. “You know what? I’ma stand up.” I made sure my robe was nice and secure then used the headboard to carefully stand to my feet right on the bed. “Can you see it now?” I asked, holding the tattoo up to the camera and trying to keep myself balanced. “And hurry up before I fall.”

I couldn't see his face anymore, but I could clearly hear him laughing. “Ok, I see it. Now come down before you hurt yourself.”

“This one doesn't really have any meaning, I just thought it was cute. Got it when I was nineteen.”

“It looks good, though. I like it.”

“Thanks,” I said, settling back into my original seat. “Now let me see more of those muscles.”

“Huh?”

“Get up. Let me see.” And, just like that, I was back on my bullshit.

“You serious?”

I nodded with all the certitude.

“You want me to stand up and flex all in the camera?”

“That’s exactly what I want.” I smiled sweetly as I prepared for multiple wins. “You told me to ask, right?”

He chuckled before shrugging that big bulb of a shoulder. “Aight.”

He stood reluctantly and backed away from the camera, and as more of him became visible, I began to realize just how huge he really was. Even more features that made it hard to explain my insane attraction. I didn't usually go for super built, super tall guys, but something must've been in the air. Either that or somebody’s prayers were working for me.

It didn't take him long to shed whatever inhibitions he had, hanging his thumb on his waistband as he licked the corner of his lips. His eyes went down and I made sure to follow closely as he brushed his huge hand over his abs, lowering his other arm beside him and flexing his tricep. Two gold chains shone against his deep brown skin as muscles rippled all over his upper body. If not for my unbreakable focus, I could've laughed at his earlier attempt to make me believe he didn’t want this attention. He was lapping it up. And so was I.

“Flex.” He looked up at me, already smiling. “Show me the guns.” We both laughed, but he very kindly gave me what I wanted, grunting and digging his teeth into his bottom lip as he did. My mouth almost dropped when his tongue came out. Every part of this man had to be big. All of it.

“Like that?” he asked.

“Just like that.” Arms were my favorite, and the way he had chosen to bedeck their moment was it for me. That’s when the visions of all the possible ways I could be absolutely wrecked started to permeate my thoughts. He even turned around and let me get a view of his back. Lawd hammercy. I decided to lie down, propping myself up on my elbow and resting my head in my hand as I savored this moment. This incredibly yummy moment.

“I ain't ever did no shit like this.”

“Well, you're doing amazing.”

I needed a stack of ones, honey. He even had on sweats that were just low enough for me to peep the black Calvin Klein band flush against his waist. Some real sexy shit.

“Damn. You look great.”

“��Preciate that. And this concludes your preview of tall, dark and handsome.”

“But what if I want the full production, though?”

I fell out laughing as his shocked, yet cheesing face entered my sight.

“Shit, you know where I’m at.”

“Anyway. How tall are you?”

“Six-three.”

“Sheesh. You're almost a whole foot taller than me.”

“You short as fuck.”

“Ok.” I rolled my eyes, tone dropped all the way to the floor. “Relax. I’m not short, I’m five-six.”

“Nah, you short,” he laughed. “But I never had an issue with short women. I know how to squat.”

I was trying so hard not to, but I was about to fold like lawn chairs in a few minutes. I could feel it. “You goofy.”

“Sometimes. But hold on a second, I’ll be right back.”

“Ok.”

He got up to leave, but as promised, he kept it brief. When he returned, though, he wasn’t alone. Tucked between his perfect pout was a lit blunt, and he was pulling from it as he came back to the screen.

“Had to go roll up real quick.”

“Oh, ok. You one of those.”

“Yes, ma’am, I am.” He looked directly at me and shamelessly took another drag. And we shared yet another laugh.

“I’m playin’.”

“So, I’m guessing you don't smoke.”

“Nah, I don’t.”

“I know you do something. How you unwind?”

“White wine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, it’s a must. I have a glass almost every day. Sometimes a couple.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“Mhmm.”

Words took a pause as I lay there just admiring his beauty. I watched as the smoke danced around his features and as his eyes got lower and lower. Then that little spot between my thighs picked the conversation up in my place. With her loud ass. Yahya pulled from the blunt again, but, this time, as the smoke rolled from his mouth and nose, he licked those thick lips. At that moment, I knew it was over for me. It felt like the hand of Zeus went down and thumped the shit out of my already distressed coochie. My breath got away from me for a second, but I was able to recover; for the most part. I crossed my legs and started to squeeze my thighs together with the force of a thousand men, still trying to hide the fact that I was completely thrown off my game.

“So, you ready to show me what’s goin’ on up under there?”

I slowly untied my robe and let it fall open. He had no idea what I was ready to do. Or maybe he did. Most of my sheer, pink bra had been uncovered, so I let go of the sash and traced my fingertips tenderly across my breasts. “See?”

“I do,” he nodded. “They look good.”

“They do, huh?” I reached to undo the front clasp, emptying the delicate cups, showing him just how good it could get.

“Oh, it’s like that?”

“You know something?”

“Nah. Tell me.”

“You are fine as fuck.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” I laid back, finally allowing my legs to part. My robe left the rest of my body as I made myself comfy on the decorative pillows that had gone untouched behind me. I never laid on those pillows. “Got me actin’ all wild. Like I ain’t got no home training.”

He just smiled, silently focused on me and my e-misconduct. I took one of my breasts into my hand, rubbing my nipple as I slid two fingers into my mouth using the more dominant one. Smoke continued to flow from his lips, and his lusty eyes took in all that they could see. Too far gone, I guided those fingers down into my panties.

“It’s wet, huh?” he very confidently asked me.

“So wet.”

“Rub on it.”

I licked my lips and released a slow, but terribly frustrated breath. “I wish you were here to help me take care of it.”

“I got you, baby. Just do what I say.”

@lemmewritesomeish @thisiswhatshefelt @teheeboo @smollettmajors @judymfmoody @lyrarodriguez -taglist-

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90363462 · 2 years ago

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Emotional Karamo Brown Talks for First Time About Son's Drug Overdose

"I saw my son laying on the floor in the cat litter, foam coming out of his mouth"

10/28/2022 8:44 AM PT

Karamo Brown is publicly opening up about his son's drug overdose.

The 41-year-old "Queer Eye" star got real with his audience during Thursday's episode of his show "Karamo" when he talked about finding his son in the middle of a drug overdose two years ago.

"Today, I'm going to be very vulnerable with you all. It's something that I've never talked about publicly," Brown began.

"Almost two years ago, I found my oldest son Jason, lying on the floor, dying from a drug overdose," he shared. "And I was terrified. I was about to lose my son. I didn't know what to do. I was in shock."

Karamo revealed that he noticed his son Jason was slipping after he stopped answering his calls and paying his bills. Things came to a head when the then 23-year-old missed his flight to see his mother in Texas and the TV personality went over to his apartment to confront Jason about his behavior.

"When I got to the apartment I went up the stairs and the door was ajar," he recalled, adding that he at first believed his son had gotten robbed.

"I opened the door and it was a complete mess ... the house was dirty and I saw my son laying on the floor in the cat litter, foam coming out of his mouth," he said with tears in his eyes.

"I don't know if you've ever experienced addiction in your own lives or with family members, but when you find out what's been going on and you realize what's been happening and you didn't realize it -- when you realize you might lose someone it just kills you inside," he added.

The now 25-year-old also appeared on the daytime television show to share his story of addiction and detailed the moment he had tried hard drugs for the first time.

"It all started… in college…" Jason began. "Dad, you gave me your car that night to go out to a party, you told me that car needs to be back here or that is my a--, but I got way too wasted and I could not drive. I was not about to drive… your car at the time and so someone came up to me and was like 'Try this, it's cocaine. It'll sober you up, I promise you it'll do the trick.' It did the trick. I remember driving home and like physically feeling like 'Oh I need more.'"

Getting emotional, Brown asked his son why he didn't feel he could come to him as the two seemed to have an honest relationship. The "Real World" alum explained that he had adopted a parenting style that facilitated open dialogue instead of inflicting punishment for lying.

"So why in that moment did you [not] feel you could talk to me? Why in that moment [didn’t] you think you could call me and say ‘hey dad, I got messed up’ you know?" Karamo questioned.

Jason confessed he "wasn't thinking straight" as he was under the influence and didn't want to call to say he had taken his father's car to a party with a bunch of college kids who were also under the influence.

"I was actually so relieved whenever you caught me… when you found me," he continued. "I don't know, I was truly tired of the way I was living and at some point, I was feeling that I was tired of living. It was kind of like a cry for help."

Jason revealed that he had been battling depression at the time. "I was not talking to you, mom, family at all. I just lost all types of connection with anybody and anyone I once loved except for drugs. That was the only thing I was obsessed with," he stated.

He was also able to give his father some solace after Karamo admitted that he had been beating himself up for not noticing the signs of his addiction.

"Honestly it was up to me, because I came to you everyday and every time I would see you, every time I would call you… I would present myself in the best light, 'Hey! Dad ain’t nothing wrong going over here' like truly was making sure that you had no idea what was going on. I was on my ps and qs with that."

It wasn't until Jason was 10 years old that Karamo had learned that he had fathered a son. In an interview with Parents, the reality star revealed he only learned he was a father when he was subpoenaed for child support.

"My last girlfriend in high school—when I was 15—became pregnant with my child but did not tell me," Karamo recalled. "I was confused, sad, angry, and weirdly excited to be a dad, but felt lost nonetheless."

He later adopted Jason, as well as Jason's half-brother Chris.

Since his high school girlfriend, Karamo has been living as a proud openly gay man and was even engaged to his longtime partner Ian Jordan from 2010 until they went their separate ways in 2020. Brown has been romantically linked to Carlos Medel since 2021.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, get help. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline (1-800-662-4357)provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.

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somewhatgreatexpectations · 4 years ago

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Unforgettable (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello, everyone!

Songs used: "Unforgettable" By Nat King Cole (1952)

Summary: Wanda is forced to delve into her past as you deal with some unexpected obstacles trying to get back to her.

“I know, she does look shocked to meet the real us, doesn’t she?” Agnes- Agatha said to her rabbit with a laugh. Wanda couldn’t help but feel frustration creep under her skin at the air of indifference Agatha was speaking in. It was clear she couldn’t trust a word that came out of the other woman’s mouth, so she decided to take matters in her own. She would just look into the other woman’s mind to get answers. The perks of having powers.

Except… Nothing.

Rather than being able to see into the other woman’s mind she was met with a wall. Even in the early stages of having her powers this had never happened and Wanda couldn’t help but feel unnerved. “Oh, that’s adorable.” Agatha laughed. “My thoughts are not available to you, toots. They never were. So, don’t wear yourself out. It’s a waste of time. We have much more… pressing matters to tend to.”

Wanda clenched her jaw, refusing to play into the game Agatha clearly wanted her to play. “Where are my children?” Her blood boiled when Agatha mockingly repeated her question back to her.

Again, Agatha laughed. “Do you have an accent or not, sweetheart? Make up your mind.”

“Where are they?” Wanda repeated, flexing her hands to manipulate her powers only to be met with the same resistance from before. Her blood ran cold. This had never happened.

A chilling smile crossed Agatha’s features. “Aww. Sweetheart. Don’t you know? Your magic is useless here. Much like yourself.” Before Wanda could even consider reacting Agatha flicked her wrist and Wanda felt her arms get pinned tightly behind her back along with her legs as she flew forward. The invisible vice like grip tightening as Agatha flexed her fingers. Wanda groaned in discomfort.

Agatha began speaking again but Wanda could barely process the words as she panted in pain. “Basic protection spells. Honestly, how dim are you?” Wanda finally allowed herself to look around the room, taking in the strange markings that littered the wall. “These are runes, Wanda. In a given space, only the witch that cast the runes can use her magic. Do you know anything?”

“Who are you?” Wanda demanded.

“Who are you?” Agatha countered. “I was so patient. Playing along with your twisted little fantasy. Waiting for you to reveal yourself.” She smirked. “I will admit, sending fake Anna and fake Pietro seemed to push your buttons. I thought Amelia- sorry, Ellie, would have sent you over the edge but you didn’t seem to care if your wife mingled with someone else. Just like I’m sure she’s doing now.”

Wanda’s jaw clenched tightly as she pulled at the invisible restraints. “Leave Y/n out of this.”

It was clear Agatha was amused by Wanda's anger. “Oh, sweetheart. How could I do that when she’s the easiest way to get to you? And Amelia was more than willing to be an active participant in all of this to get Y/n back.”

In response Wanda leveled Agatha with a hard stare, not giving her the satisfaction. “The silent treatment? Oh, well. Guess I’ll have to talk to myself.” Agatha mockingly pouted. “When I sensed such powerful spells cast all at once… I knew I had to see it for myself. Mind control is a classic… But having thousands of people under your thumb, each with their own complex stories? That’s something special, baby.”

“I spent years practicing to be able to create one believable illusion, but you, Wanda… Westview under your spell? Every little detail is in place. You’re even running illusions all the way at the edge of town! Magic on autopilot.” Agatha pushed a hand through her hair, her eyes deranged. “What’s your secret? I need you to tell me how you did this.”

Wanda’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t do anything. I’m not-” Before she could finish, Agatha flicked her hand and Wanda was sent crashing into the walls on either side of her. Grunts of pain falling from her lips before Agatha stopped her directly in front of herself once again.

“I tried to be gentle, I did. To wake you up from this stupid little fantasy you have but it’s clear you’d rather fall apart than face your issues, little witch. You left me no choice.” Agatha stepped closer to Wanda. “What was it you said to your fake brother? You felt empty. Like you were drowning. Endless nothingness… Let’s start there.”

Wanda wordlessly watched the woman pluck a hair from her hair and chant words she didn’t understand under her breath. The strand glowing purple as it floated over to the door.

“It’s been fun playing pretend, Wanda… But now it’s time to look at the real thing.” Agatha whispered menacingly. “Let’s go.”

Agatha waved her hand and Wanda went crashing to the floor. “No.” She gritted out, her eyes locked on Agatha, refusing to look at the familiar door. She knew what would await behind that door.

“Did you forget that I have your children lock in this basement? It wasn’t a request.”

Before Wanda could respond she could hear the voices of Billy and Charlie call out to her behind the door and she knew she had no other choice but to enter.

______________

As you were flying lower to the ground your eyes caught the sigh of someone waving their arms noticeably. You needed to get to Wanda though. You needed to see her. To tell her you were sorry. That you were there for her… That you loved her.

Begrudgingly you flew down, you would just check if this person was okay before getting to Wanda.

When your feet touched ground, you were practically knocked over by Ellie leaping into your arms. “Y/n! You have to help me!” She cried desperately, tears streaming rapidly down her cheeks.

The sight overwhelmed you as you tried to maintain your composure. “Ellie, what’s wrong?” You asked cautiously, placing your hands on her shoulders to hold her back.

“My names not Ellie. It’s me, Y/n. Amelia.” She grabbed your hands and tugged you forward slightly. “Wanda is trying to keep us apart.”

You stumbled back with her words, not expecting it. “No. I don’t know who you are, but I know Wanda. I know I love her and that I’ve always loved her. I’ve seen it in my mind.”

Almost immediately the tears stopped in their tracks. Ellie- Amelia stared you down. The sight sent a chill down your spine as your fingers began tingling with energy. “Oh, Y/n, sweetheart. That’s just not true.” You noticed she began playing with a small device in her hands. “Maybe you just need a little… encouragement.”

Your fingers sparked with nervous energy, as a pit began forming in your stomach. “What do you mean?”

Before she could reply, Anna and Pietro strolled up. “There’s something about music that messes with her head.” Anna said flippantly, as she picked at her nails. “Try that.”

Pietro smirked. “If that doesn’t work I can help you out with that little device you have there, hot stuff.” He added with a wink to Amelia.

Amelia tilted her head thoughtfully. “That won’t be necessary. Agatha taught me a little trick.”

With a small wave of her hand, a purple fog drifted from her fingers and disappeared into your mind.

“Hello, beautiful.” You looked up from your place on the floor of the training room, smiling slightly when you saw it was Amelia.

“Hi, doll.” You replied back, the term of endearment tasting bitter on your tongue. It felt out of place. You tried to ignore it. This was your girlfriend now after all.“Here to get schooled in some hand-to-hand combat?”

A laugh fell from her lips. “Oh, please. I could take you any day, Y/ln.”

You smirked up at her. “That’s cute that you think that. My mentor is Steve Rogers. I trained with Natasha Romanoff almost daily. Captain America and Black Widow. My skill levels are unmatched.” You said easily as you brushed imaginary dirt off your shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah. We get it. You were an Avenger. Blah, blah, blah. That’s really not as impressive as you th-” Amelia squealed slightly as you swept her legs out from under her, pining her almost immediately.

With a grin, you looked down at her. “You were saying?”

You noticed the way her gaze fell to your lips and you couldn’t help but smirk again. Before you could do anything, she flipped you over, pining your hands above your head. “I was saying, I would’ve thought Black Widow taught you better than that.”

Her grip on your wrists loosened slightly as you tugged her down. Your lips meeting in a kiss.

Blinking rapidly, you shook away the fog in your mind as you refocused on the world around you. “Do you see now?” Amelia called out to you. “It wasn’t Wanda. It was me you were with.”

All the pieces of memories you had seen the last few days flashed in your mind. The love you had for Wanda flashed in your mind. There would never be anyone else. “No, Amelia. I’m sorry, but it’s her-”

“-it’s always been her. I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything sooner, but I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.” You winced at the tears that seemed to be forming in Amelia’s eyes. “I can’t love you when I have no room in my heart for someone else. Even if Wanda and I can’t be together. Even if I can’t forgive her.”

Your eyes widened at the memory that it seemed you were able to recall on your own. “I told you I was in love with Wanda. Why are you doing this?”

Amelia gritted her teeth. “Because Wanda didn’t deserve you, Y/n. I did. When Agatha approached me and told me this was a guaranteed way to win you back I knew I had to do it.”

You shook your head. “I'm never going to love you back, Amelia. I need to get to Wanda.”

“Ralph, now.” Amelia told Pietro, tossing him the small device. He caught it and sped over to you.

You felt the small prick against the back of your neck and then everything went dark.

__________________

The trauma of having to relieve losing her parents and experiencing the effects of the mind stone again weighed heavily on her. The pain was all fresh and Wanda wasn't sure she could take anymore.

Then she saw the familiar sight of elevator doors.

For a moment Wanda was sure her legs would give out underneath her. She knew that behind this door was peace. The peace she wanted her mind to remain in forever that didn't exist anymore.

The simplicity that was behind that door didn't exist anymore but it was something she longed to see.

Agatha made a quiet noise of surprise as Wanda moved forward on her own, rather than reluctantly as she had before.

The doors slid open as Wanda felt the cool breeze blow through her hair. The imagine of her younger self sat looking out at the city before her. “So, where are we now?”

“The roof of the Avengers compound.” Wanda said quietly. “It’s where Y/n and I fell in love. No matter how hard I tried to shut her out, she never gave up. Pietro was dead, and I was in a new country. I had never felt so alone… She saved me from drowning.”

Wanda’s heart thudded painfully in her chest she saw the younger version of herself open her mouth to speak. She knew what was coming next. “Y/n.”

You stepped in between Agatha and Wanda a small smile on your face as the younger version of herself never looked away from you.

Wanda’s breath hitched because looking back at it now, it was clear she had always been in love with you.

“Um, hi.” You began, bashfully rubbing the back of your neck. “I wanted fresh air and it’s such a nice day out and it looked like you could use company. I mean, not that you have to have company if you don't want it. I can go if you want or I can just sit here with you and-”

Wanda couldn’t help but laugh slightly as she interrupted you. “Y/n. You’re rambling.”

Your cheeks flushed, and the current Wanda couldn’t help but smile adoringly at the sight. Of how oblivious you both were. “Right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

The young version of herself never let her eyes leave yours. A stark contrast from the girl who couldn’t even look at you for more than a minute when you first met. “You don’t?”

The redness on your cheeks darkened. “Well…” You winced. “I guess I did since I knew you’d probably be here and I just-”

“I like being around you.” Wanda whispered at the same time you said the words.

“Even if we don’t talk most of the time.” You finished shyly.

Her eyes shone slightly under the fading light. “What are your intentions now?”

You shifted slightly from foot to foot. “I think my intentions would be whatever you prefer.”

Wordlessly she pat the space next to her. You smiled as you took a seat next to her, looking out over the skyline, your shoulders brushing. “Wanda, I…” She tilted her head to look at you. “I don’t want to pretend I know exactly what you’re going through because we all fight battles that no one knows about… But if you ever need to talk or just have someone around I’m here for you. If that would give you even just a little comfort.”

Wanda’s eyes flashed with controlled annoyance. “What makes you think that talking about it would give me comfort?” You stayed quiet. “Or sitting here with you?”

Wanda flinched at the tone her past self used and watched the way you began spinning the rings on your fingers anxiously. You were nervous, she could see that now.

She wanted to yell at herself for all the time she spent pushing you away when she should have been pulling you closer.

“I just thought that-”

“The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again.” Wanda cut you off sharply, her eyes shining with unshed tears and her voice thick with emotion.

Wanda could see the understanding in your eyes. You knew exactly what she was going through, and she had no idea at the time.

You nodded faintly, shifting your gaze back to the skyline. “Sorry.” You said quietly. You pulled out your phone to play music, the default to being around Wanda. A silent support.

“Never before has someone been more… Unforgettable. In every way, and forever more that’s how you’ll stay.”

The music made tears well up in Wanda’s eyes because this was the first song you had played that she had allowed herself to actually listen to. The silent messages you were sending her. The walls you were breaking without even realizing it.

“I’m sorry.” She eventually mumbled.

You turned to face her, your brows furrowed in concern. “Don’t be. It’s fine, Wanda.”

A pained smile spread across her lips. “It’s just… I’m so tired.” She inhaled sharply and the glistening in her eyes became more apparent. “It’s like this wave washing over me, again and again. It knocks me down and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And I… It’s just gonna drown me.”

The defeat in her voice made your heart clench as you fought the urge to hold her, to take her hand. “It may feel like it’s all sorrow right now, but there’s more.” You said quietly. Wanda’s stared back at you with curiosity. “The pain you’re in is a telltale sign of the love you gave. Of the unwavering strength of your love… because what is grief is not love persevering?” For a moment you just stared at one another.

The abrupt sound of a loud ad startled you both as you jumped. A laugh fell from your lips because of the terrible timing. “I really should start paying for ad free. Sorry.” You smiled at her nervously.

The surprise on your face was obvious when she smiled back at you. “No, it was funny.” She replied with a chuckle.

You made a face. “It is kind of funny that an Avenger can’t afford ad free music, isn’t it?”

“Mhm.” Wanda hummed, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

The sound of her laughter faded as you both stared at one another, the intensity of emotions left unspoken making the air heavy with tension. Eventually you both turned your gaze back to the skyline, your shoulders still brushing.

A single tear fell down Wanda’s cheeks as she stepped further onto the roof, the image of you both faded away as she looked around.

“So, to recap… Parents dead, brother dead, Y/n pretty much dead.” Wanda’s face crumpled in pain as the tears fell down her cheeks more steadily. Agatha continued on. “What happened when she wasn’t there to be your life raft anymore, Wanda?”

Wanda roughly wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“You’re right there! Tell me how you did it.” Wanda’s chest heaved with the weight of the emotions. “They tried to take Y/n, but you weren’t going to let that happen.”

Wanda’s eyes widened slightly as she thought back to the moment. “I wasn’t going to let that happen.” She repeated as she marched through the familiar door.

Anxiously she watched herself find your empty room, she watched the panic in her every move, she watched Hayward talk about you like you were nothing.

Her heart broke all over again as she watched herself hover over your practically lifeless body.

“I can’t feel you.” She whispered brokenly, the pain in her chest overcoming her. The sensation composing her entire being as everything within her collapsed. She was alone, and she knew she wouldn’t recover.

Her eyes glowed red as she waved a hand, all of the doctors in the room turning away from your body on her command. Hayward turning away as well before he could even react.

Carefully she made her way over to you and took you in her arms, her hands glowing as she carried you away through a back entrance where no one would see her leave.

Cautiously, she placed you in the passenger seat of her car and began driving. Her heart thudding heavily with each passing moment that you didn't wake up. The only thing that brought her a small semblance of comfort was the sight of your chest still weakly rising and falling with each breath.

After an hour or so of driving she pulled into an empty driveway. “This- this was supposed to be a surprise… I bought it when we were in Scotland... For when I was finally able to propose. For when we were finally able to start our lives together. Our happy ending.”

Tears began falling rapidly down her cheeks. “We were supposed to be a happy ending.” She whispered brokenly. “I just want you to be able to see it b-before you go. You deserve more than to have your last moments in that room.” Her words were shaky as if it took all she had to even get them out. Because it did.

Wanda made her way out of the car and carefully carried you out to the middle of the empty lot. “I love you, Y/n. So much.” She whispered, noticing the way your breath was becoming weaker and weaker by the minute. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Slowly she sunk to the ground, still holding you in her arms. The pain in her chest growing unbearable. She couldn’t breathe. All she felt was pain. Broken sobs fell from her lips as she watched the color steadily fade from your face. The steady thrum of your heart rate against her fingertips fading away.

With a scream of agony red burst from her chest and you began floating in the air, gently wrapped in the red. Quickly the energy expanded and expanded. The house appearing from nothing as your feet slowly touched the floor. The hospital gown that you were in moments before gone and replaced with an old-fashioned dress. Your eyes were still closed as the red energy continued to stream out of Wanda.

When the red faded away, Wanda was left breathless by the sight. All she could see was you. Her eyes watered when she met your eyes again. The eyes she had spent weeks begging to see open again.

You, standing before her with the same smile you wore the first time that you met. Your eyes looking at her with all the love you had before it all went wrong. That was all she ever wanted.

Tentatively she stepped forward, as if one wrong move would make you disappear. The outfit she was wearing transforming into an old fashioned dress as well.

The smile she gave you was loving as her eyes shone with feelings she hadn’t been able to feel in weeks. Happiness. “Wanda. Darling. I’ve missed you.” You said sincerely. “Should we stay in tonight?”

You turned on the radio before meeting her in front of the couch.

“That’s why, darling, it’s incredible that someone so unforgettable thinks that I am unforgettable too.”

As the music washed over you both, you took a seat on the couch wrapping an arm around Wanda, pulling her closer as her hand lifted to glide over your cheek. Her fingertips brushing along your jaw lovingly until they landed on the back of your neck and pulled you closer. Your lips met in a sweet kiss and Wanda happily gave herself over to the moment. To you.

Wanda watched the moment with an aching heart as the scene before her faded away. Suddenly she heard the sound of clapping in the distance. She cautiously made her way forward, squinting against the bright overhead lights.

“Bravo.” Agatha called sarcastically before snapping her fingers and disappearing into a haze of purple smoke.

Before Wanda could react, she heard the desperate cries of her children. “Mom! Mom! Help us!”

“Please! Please, help us!” Continued as she ran to the door and into the bright daylight.

Panic coursed through her veins as she ran down the street frantically trying to find the twins. Her chest tightening as her breathing became almost impossible.

A moment later she came to a stop before Agatha. The sight making her stomach turn. Agatha held the twins hostage as the purple force wrapped around their necks, preventing them from escaping. “I know what you are.” Agatha called out, but all Wanda could focus on was the pain her children were in.

Her hands began to glow as she made a weak attempt to reassure them. “It’s okay, babies. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“You have no idea how dangerous you are. You’re supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation and here you are… Using it to make breakfast for dinner!” Agatha’s lips curled in disgust.

The glow in Wanda’s hands intensified. “Let go of my children!”

“Oh yes, your children. And Y/n. And this whole little life you’ve made… This is Chaos Magic, Wanda… And that makes you... the Scarlet Witch.”

And we have concluded with part 8! One final part after this!

If you would like to actually read what happens in SWORD with Hayward its in part 13 of "Love Goes" which I will tag here. And a nice conversation that they had about feeling like drowning is in part 1 of "Love Goes" which I will tag here.

Ironically, I wrote that scene about drowning before episode 8 of Wandavision came out so it kind of messed with the flashback scene when I was writing it.

Anyway, that's all. As always, I hope you all enjoyed! Thoughts and comments always welcome! :)

Taglist:

@theofficialzivadavid // @tquick99 // @marrymemcgrath // @afuckingshituniverse // @pxterstrk // @aimezvousbrahms // @ensorcellme // @sapphicshots // @daisybri7

#wanda #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda marvel #wanda maximov #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x y/n #wandavision

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journey-to-the-attic · 3 years ago

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so you said that about ik's kidification you might end up writing the side characters in the future, and in the meantime, im here to share my headcanons bc its been engulfing my thoughts for days.

i personally think luke's reaction would be pretty funny because now ik, the only person in the devildom his size, is now Smol and Tiny and also very Babey. he is bluescreening, he does not know what to do. doesnt know how to answer her kid questions, so he'll pass her off to simeon.

simeon is signing adoption papers as we speak. he is like asmo in that he internally bluescreens so hard when he sees her. also takes her kid questions very seriously, and will carry her just about anywhere.

solomon is gonna be that fun uncle that lets you do stupid stuff and eat dirt or whatever, and just laughs in the face of chaos. (lucifer is losing his sanity). solomon responds in the most chaotic and nonsensical way to her questions, or he gets a mad scientist look in his eyes and is like "lets find out" (lucifer has now banned him from interacting with kid ik unsupervised. doesn't stop the man in the slightest. also dont tell anyone but he'd also put on magic shows for ik and would be a total show-off about it to her. anyone who finds out suddenly and mysteriously disappears)

i'll be sure to do some notes for the side characters with kidified ik, since it was so fun to write the brothers! since it'll probably be a week or two before then, though, allow me to address your own hcs real quick:

luke: definitely blue screens so hard as soon as he realises what's going on, but also would be v happy to like play and draw with ik!!also the more innocent of her kid questions he can manage, it's once she starts heading into either absurd or dread-inducing territory that he goes 'uuhhh actuALLY I THINK YOU SHOULD GO SEE SIMEON'. he bakes so many things for her and she says she loves absolutely everything and luke basically glows with pride

simeon: if he has not legally adopted this tiny child within twenty four hours he is GOING to blow something up. (good luck with that custody battle, buddy, you've got like five competitors). yes he is like asmo, he nearly bursts into tears nearly every time he lays eyes on her for the first few hours. oh and he is SO happy to like hold ik high up in the air and go "you're flying!!!" and then ik will spread her arms and go ''i'm flying!!!!' and now simeon's crying even harder

solomon: [lucifer voice] i am so damn tired. ik will ask him whether he could fly by tying a bunch of balloons to himself, and he'll immediately be hauling her off to the shop to buy 9383398 packets of party balloons like "LET'S FIND OUT!". lucifer has to physically restrain him at times while urgently yelling at beel to get ik out of there

also solomon gets such an ego trip from ik thinking literally any trick he does is the coolest thing ever. he's like "i pull THIS giant teddy bear from THIS tiny cup" and she goes "WOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOOHH" and solomon's internally going [punches air] 'i am the MAN'. he does a thing where he's like "ik you think i'm the coolest one right? right?" and ik replies "yeah!!" because he just gave her the giant teddy bear he magicked up, so solomon goes "and you like me best, right?" and ik just goes along with it like "yeah!!!!", and then solomon immediately calls everyone else like "GUESS WHAT IK JUST SAID"

#answering asks #anon asks #should there be a tag for this baby ik prompt??#if anyone has any good ideas please send them in!!#solomon got an extra paragraph but you know what that's alright #this is such a word vomit but i can't be bothered to format it differently #i kid you not

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4ragon · 4 years ago

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I'm not the original anonymous but I would extremely want to see that essay about Apollo's trust issues.

Also since I just finished Spirit of Justice, do you think Lamiroir ever told Trucy/Apollo about her and if so what would be their reactions?

Let’s see if I can write this up without crying again like I did on twitter.

So a while ago a friend of mine asked me why I liked Apollo, and I really couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew he was my favorite, but unlike Simon Blackquill, I hadn’t done that deep dive into figuring out why. I’d always just sort of loved him, and was never able to pinpoint the part that made me care about him so much. It drove me crazy, too, I love rambling about characters that I love, and I love writing from Apollo’s perspective more than anything. So why did I love him? Why did I care about him?

Well. I figured it out. I figured out my answer.

I think there are two things that characterize Apollo more than anything. One: He has trust issues. He genuinely believes that the people around him don’t give a shit about him. Especially after being betrayed multiple times in that first trial, he truly and deeply believes that the people around him are only trying to hurt him and is too scared to really believe that they care about him.

And two: He cares so much about the people around him that he constantly helps them anyway.

So like. And I won’t tag her because I don’t think she’d appreciate it, but I was watching the laquilasse AA4 stream last night, and the entire opening of Turnabout Corner is so striking to me, especially right after the end of Turnabout Trump. At the end of Turnabout Trump, Apollo’s trust and belief in Phoenix is finally and thoroughly shattered, and Apollo lashes out, punching Phoenix in the face. And for good reason! That was a huge breach of trust! Apollo literally did the exact thing that got Phoenix disbarred, namely present evidence that wasn’t real. Sure, they never exactly claimed it was the real deal, but Apollo didn’t even know it was faked, he just trusted Phoenix and this new piece of evidence and it almost fucked him over. It did sort of fuck him over, he did lose his job and his Mentor.

And then, Phoenix calls him and says that they’re in trouble, and Apollo doesn’t even question it, of course he shows up to help.

Like. You can feel how much he mistrusts Trucy on their first meeting, in everything he does and says. Especially when Trucy and Phoenix are in the same room, he’s actively thinking about how he doesn’t ‘buy their act’ when Phoenix is calling Trucy daughter-ly nicknames. And then, in a way, he’s kind of right? They guilt him into essentially being their errand boy, and I feel like they’re constantly and loudly using him throughout so much of the game.

And Apollo was there anyway. Apollo doesn’t even trust them and he’s still there the first instant Phoenix says he needs his help.

Like you can loudly do and say whatever you want and crush his dreams and betray his trust, and despite everything, there’s always that part of Apollo that desperately needs to help anyone who asks him. He can’t even bring himself to trust them, and he’s still crawling back the moment someone needs him, ready to let them disappoint him over again.

Like this struck me about Apollo from the moment I played AA4, but he’s so lonely? And desperate for connection? He cares so much about a world that has always and consistently never cared about him, and he just keeps caring and keeps caring even as that starry-eyed naivete is ripped away. And I feel like he just wants someone to care about him back, but never really able to believe that they do, because they never really seem to, because every time he allows himself to trust it’s just thrown back in his face so horribly.

Here’s an interesting thing I noticed: in Turnabout Trump, there’s a really interesting line. Phoenix has accused Kristoph of being the murderer, the extra person in the room. Kristoph takes the stand and claims to have witnessed the moment Phoenix committed the murder. And this exchange happens:

Apollo: There must have been someone else there at the moment of the crime!

Kristoph: Justice... I just said I saw no one. Not a soul.

Apollo: B-But, that goes against what Mr. Wright said!

Kristoph: Ah yes, this mysterious "fourth person"... ...who would conveniently be the "real killer", I suppose.

And this is well past the point where Phoenix has accused Kristoph of being that person. There’s no possibility at this point that they’re both innocent, it’s either one or the other. And Apollo is still so desperately trying to find a way for them both to be innocent, basically saying, “Just give me a fourth person and I’ll believe you.” And then Kristoph turned out to be a monster, and then Phoenix turned out to have betrayed Apollo from the start, and as far as Apollo is ever aware, none of the care from either of these men was ever real. He trusted, and he suffered the consequences.

But again. He’s still there. Someone pointed out a while ago, but Apollo stays. Apollo shows up to the Wright Talent Agency under false pretenses, and he complains and hems and haws, and he still stays. Why?

Phoenix and Trucy loudly manipulate him into working their case. They’re perfectly happy to flaunt that they’re basically tricking him. And he stays. Why?

Because Apollo can’t trust them, but he wants to so fucking bad. He doesn’t even seem to like Phoenix that much, but he wants that connection so fucking bad. He cares about them so much and he doesn’t believe for a second that they extend that feeling back at him, and he’s compelled to stay anyway.

He knows Trucy is practically using him, and he’s a sobbing mess when he thinks she was kidnapped for a few minutes. He’s cynical and mean and it’s all just to cover up the fact that he loves all these people around him with all his heart and they never once pay it back. And he comes back anyway. He’s like a fucking loyal dog that is never given enough affection and so he’s constantly trying harder and harder to earn that love while never believing he’ll ever really get it.

(Shit nope crying again)

It’s just so sad. And this is all without adding anything from the 3D games. The 3D games do build on this theme in one way or another, but from the get go, this is who Apollo is. A caring young man who is constantly punished for caring and yet can’t stop caring anyway.

We see it again in the 3D games. And I think part of why I don’t enjoy DD as much as SoJ is that DD doesn’t capture this mistrust the same way. It’s so surface level, that sense of betrayal and mistrust and anger he gets consumed by in that final case. And the worst part is it doesn’t have to be! There’s already that foundation! Apollo has been hurt already a million times. The only person he’s ever been able to trust, the only lifeline that’s kept him above water since he was a child, was Clay Terran, and now that was taken from him because he DARED to trust someone new. That’s so fucking compelling! But we never get that! We never get to see how Apollo is feeling. We get that he’s convinced Athena did the murder, but never really get into the Why, into the What This Means for Apollo.

It’s a bit better in SoJ. We see how far he’s come in terms of trusting people when he trusts in Trucy wholly and immediately in case two. And then, conversely, we see his mistrust and hurt when they introduce Dhurke into the mix. Apollo refuses point blank to believe that Dhurke had come to visit him, that Dhurke cared about him. Apollo demands to know why Dhurke was there, what Dhurke wanted, how Dhurke was going to use him. He’s been able to slowly start building that trust with people like Trucy, but he still cannot let himself trust again when Dhurke had already betrayed that trust.

I said it before, but as much as I hate the slapdash ways in which Capcom keeps throwing backstory at this boy, I love what the backstories are, because they build on this angry, cynical, lonely young man I care about so much. He’s been hurt and abandoned and used and betrayed since he was young, and being good never truly paid off for so long, but he kept doing it, he kept being good, he kept caring about people because he couldn’t help it, and kept hoping that maybe they could care back. And eventually I think it does start paying off for him. People do start caring about him. And I feel like it takes until around SoJ for him to start really believing that the people around him might care about him too.

Also congrats on finishing SoJ! Since there’s a very good chance that they might be announcing AA7 soon, I...hope? fear? expect? that they’ll touch on this then. However, I also worry that they’re going to botch it up so hard.

I know what I want to happen. I want Trucy to be angry. I want her to be angry at Lamiroir and Phoenix. She is constantly putting on a mask to try to make the people she loves happy, and I feel like this is a reasonable breaking point. After all, this is kind of the one thing that Phoenix hasn’t been honest with her about. She had a brother right there, and knew the whole time?! She had a mother there the whole time?! And no one bothered to tell her?! I think she’d be heartbroken, and I think she deserves to be angry. She’s been through so much, and they never give her time to really grieve or be upset.

I think Apollo would be ecstatic and angry at the same time. All he’s ever wanted was family, and now he does! He already loved Trucy, and thought Lamiroir was amazing, so I think he would be so happy to have that family back in his life. On the flip side, I do think he’d be angry at Phoenix, particularly for keeping it to himself before Lamiroir came into the picture, but I think if they talked it out, Apollo would come around to it and be able to forgive Phoenix.

#ace attorney #apollo justice #it's time to cry about apollo again god help me #spoilers #ace attorney spoilers #aa4-6spoilers #i love this boy so much I don't know if this does it justice #meta

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fan4196 · 3 years ago

Text

Happiness

Evermore

"- Ok, bye." Alex hangs up his phone after the probably weirdest call he ever had to take. This call makes him feel every kind of emotion mixed together into one big snowball of emotions - joy, happiness, excitement, but also regret, sadness, even anger and shame. Out of all of them shame is probably the strongest - shame that he again is the reason that another person has to suffer. He hates himself for always dragging other people down with him. That he's the reason they go crazy, get cancer, leave him or end up hurt. The last person he dragged down with him was the one person he never ever wanted to entangle into all of his problems, but she turned out to be the only person that was always more than willing to help him through all of his crap and loved him unconditionally with all his flaws.

He keeps looking down on his phone for a few more seconds, before he puts it down on the coffee table and buries his face in his hands.

"Who was that?" Izzie asks as she walks into the living room, a plate in her hand from the snack the twins just had in the kitchen.

"Jo." He answeres quietly, as he looks up again but avoiding Izzies look.

"As in your Ex-wife, Jo?" Izzie askes surprised, fiddling with the plate in her hand.

He nodds before he watches Izzie standing in the door between the kitchen and the living room.

"You should sit down." He suggests quietly, stroking his hand through his hair.

"Ok?!" She walks into the living room and sits down opposite of Alex, waiting for him to start.

"She- she's pregnant." Alex begins, not knowing how to continue, while a million thoughts run through his head.

"Ahm. Ok? Well good for her. That means she moved on rather quickly. That's good, right?" Izzie answeres, pretending to be happy for Alex's ex-wife, even though she has no idea why his ex felt the need to call him and rub this under his nose.

"No, Izzie. It's mine. I'm the father." He explains to the woman on the other side of the coffee table, "She said she had all the symptoms, so she took a test this morning and it was positiv. She also did a blood test at the hospital during her lunch break and it came back positive too. She also saw Doctor DeLuca, the OB/Gyn at Grey-Sloan, when she was done with her shift and had her first ultrasound - she's already thirteen weeks. She said she wasn't sure if she should call me but she wanted me to know - she wanted me to know that she's having my baby. And that it was up me if I want to be in their life or not. She has a whole damn village taking care of her, but she would never keep me away from my kid. She's due at the end of June and if I want to be there she would be ok with it. Her voice was so happy, you should have heard her. I always knew that she would be a great mom. She never believed me considering her past but I knew that her past only made her stronger and prepared her to be the best mom possible for our kids. And her laugh, I missed her laugh-" He stops after the last sentence he said.

He really tries to be as happy as he could for his kids - which he is, he's happy to be in their lives but nevertheless there's something missing. He knows that but he doesn't want to admit it. His kids should be enough to make him completely happy, right? But he's not, not entirely and he hates it. He hates that a piece of his heart is still in Seattle. He feels so selfish for wishing that she was here. That she was here with him. That she could meet his kids and that he could see his kid growing inside of her.

Just the thought of Jo with a cute little bump, that she hides under his shirts lets his heart flutter. Since the day he knew he wanted to spent the rest of his life with her he often found himself day dreaming about their future - about her lying next to him in bed, snuggled into his side while he paints circles on her big baby belly, calming the little one inside of her down so she could sleep after a long day of work. Something he was also almost one hundred percent sure of - that she would work until the day of her due date. He could see himself getting pulled out of a surgery because she went into labor while she was in an OR herself. He had already painted everything out but now everything is different - completely different.

It's silent in the living room. Izzie's not saying a word. Noticeably shocked, not knowing what to say right now.

"Are you sure?" She asks the first thing that comes to her mind.

"What?"

"Are you really sure it's yours?" She clarifies her question, a little annoyed because he wasn't listening.

"Are you serious?" He can't believe that she really asks this right now. "Of course I'm sure. She's thirteen weeks along, I'm here since ten weeks. Even if it wouldn't add up, I believe Jo if she says that I'm the father-"

"What if she's lying? Maybe she's further or fewer along than she says. Maybe she cheated on you and now tries to tell you that it's yours just to get you back into her life. Or she's not pregnant at all. What if this is just a trick to get you back?" Izzie asks, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Ok stop right there. What the hell, Izzie?" He replies angrily, ruffly pushing himself up from the couch. "I will not listen to all of this crap. What the hell? I will also not accept you talking bad about Jo. Hell no!" He's about to walk out of the living room, not wanting to hear any more of the crap Izzie has to say.

"But-"

"NO, IZZIE THERE IS NO BUT. FOR ONCE THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. THIS IS ABOUT ME. MY LIFE. MY JO. MY KID. THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, SO YOU HAVE NO SAYING IN THIS." He screams angrily, letting everything out that he had bottled up inside of himself for so long.

"Of course it has something to do with me. It means I'm losing you to her."

"Oh my God. It's exactly like that one time I thought Rebecca was pregnant with my child. Back then you also tried to talk everything bad. And even though Rebecca's pregnancy was fake, Jo's isn't. Jo's pregnancy is real and if you like it or not I will support her. I will be there for my kid, no matter what you say. Because she's pregnant with my child and I will be the father that kid deserves, because Jo made me that kind of guy. Also Jo would never lie to me about something like that. She's not like that; she knows how much I would give for every single one of my children." He pauses for a moment, when he realizes something.

"Alex- It's just- I'm afraid that I'm losing you now that I just have you back." She answers with tears in her eyes.

"Izzie you are not losing me, because you never had me. I came here for one reason and one reason only - my kids. If it would have only been you I would have never left my wife because you told me so many times that I'm not good enough for you. I tried so hard to be good enough for you - I changed so much and pretend to be someone I'm not, but it was never enough for you. And now that you had my kids you want me back? Now all of my flaws don't bother you? No. You only want me because you have no one else and that's no one's fault but your own. Jo on the other side always wanted me exactly how I was. She never changed me, she never tried to, she never told me that I'm not good enough for her. No, she always told me that I'm too good for her. She accepted me like I am. She respects me so much that she puts my needs before hers. God, she told me to stay here to be with my kids, other than begging me to come back home to her. She's freaking pregnant with my child, she would have every right to tell me to get my ass back home, but she doesn't. She wants me to do what's best for me. She loved me enough to let me go and live with my kids instead or her and my baby."

It's silent again. No one's saying a word for a minute.

"So you are staying?" Izzie asks, breaking through the awkward silence.

Alex is not answering, everything he would say now wouldn’t be nice. So he storms out of the house into the frontyard, where his kids are playing. He sits down on the porch step and watches his kids, when he hears the notification noise of his phone, he pulls it out of his back pocket and looks down on it. It's a message from Jo, which he immediately opens and his heart skips a beat as soon as he sees the picture in front of him - an ultrasound picture with Jos neatly handwriting underneath: Someone wants to say 'hi'.

He can't but smile.

"Daddy, what are you smiling about?" His daughter asks as she sits down beside Alex on the steps, a little out of breath from running around in the frontyard.

"Nothing, Alexis." He answers with a smile, locking his phone while he puts a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"But I want to know, daddy. I wanna smile too." She begs, looking at him with her big puppy dog eyes.

"Well- I told you about Jo once, right?" He asks, getting a nod from his daughter.

"Yes, she looks just like Bell from Beauty and the Beast." She answeres.

"She called me today and told me that she is having a baby. And that makes me really happy." He explains, unlocking his phone and turning it towards Alexis. "Look she send me this picture of the baby. It's still very little, you almost can't see it. It's still in her tummy, that's why the picture looks like this, it's an ultrasound picture." He tells his daughter child appropriate so she understands everything.

"We should visit her, daddy." Alexis tells him simply still looking at the picture on his phone.

"But the baby isn't born yet. It will be in Jo's tummy for another six months." He replies.

"I don't mean the baby, daddy. I mean Jo. She makes you happy and I like that." His five year old says, smiling at her dad.

"If it would be that easy, Alexis." He sighs, putting one arm around his daughter, holding her tight while she tips on his handy.

"It is easy, daddy. We go to the airport, get into the right plane and fly to her. And then you are as happy as you were here." She points towards Alex phone, the picture of their ferry boat wedding showing.

@thejolexgroupchat

#jolex #fan4196 #fanfic #fanfiction #jo x alex #alex #alex karev #grey's #grey's anatomy #grey's fanfic #tsjolexweek21

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