#treasure fluffs

[tadpolesonalgae]

Bound And Discarded To Be Treasured And Known[*]

Azriel x reader

Day 3 of @acotar-omegaverse-week — All Tied Up: Oh, you��re tied up so you don’t do anything you’ll regret during your heat? Would be a shame if someone… came along and messed up that plan for you :)

a/n: my eyelids are so heavy—most of this is proofread but there are sections I’ll be checking over come morning

Warnings: smut; pussy-eating; technically dubcon since reader’s in heat; overstim?; bdsm themes; cockwarming; knots; soft Dom Az?; fluff; they’re kinda adorable; very light breeding kink; implied incorrect use of a dagger’s hilt

word count: 6,507

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“I could show you, if you’d like…?” 

Pause. 

Steady…

Deep inhale.

Okay, resume. 

Your throat rolls, wetting parched lips with a flick of your tongue as your eyes momentarily drop away from the alpha’s hazel set. There’s nothing inappropriate about what he’s offering, and yet… 

And yet.  

And yet your toes are curling in your boots and there’s molten syrup stirring in the pit of your belly. Any kind of heat is far from normal, living up here in the desolate Illyrian Steppes, and the kind that’s gently simmering within your abdomen is as normal as spotting two suns in the sky.  

“You mean…now?” That’s definitely a hint of breathlessness in your tone. A puff of mist uncurling from your lips and carried away on an icy wind slicing between you. 

Azriel rolls his shoulders carelessly, though you doubt he so much as glances about without intention. Pointed; decisive; certain. Centuries worth of lived experience and warrior training under his belt. Is there space for you to slip in, too? 

“We could meet tomorrow, if that would work better for you?” Hazel eyes rest over your features, his irises set and still. Taking you in like an expert sommelier, savouring his time distinguishing the floral notes from the bitter or sweet undertones. Swishing you around in his glass before tilting the flute upright and letting you flow across his tongue. He clears his throat. “After training, I mean. One requires a flight back up, so I’ll be here anyway.” 

“I’m not sure,” you hedge, teeth clasping at the interior of your lower lip, glancing away from what feels like an all-knowing gaze. “Starting next week I’m going to be pretty busy…”

“Busy?” Something in Azriel’s eyes changes. 

“Right.” You nod. “Baeril is flying North for a week so I’ll be cleaning things up while I have the chance.” But there’s no way he didn’t already know that. It was the General who gave him that task. Also the reason his mood has been so poor lately, given your heat is supposed to… 

You swallow, pushing the thought away. 

“I see.” The alpha before you dips his head once. “Another time, then.” He takes it smoothly, without complaint; you wish Baeril was more like him. If only he could have half the composure Azriel has, things would be significantly better. As it is though Azriel’s head dips slightly, lowering his chin to look properly at you, a smile softening the edges of his mouth. “May I walk you back?” 

You allow yourself to return his smile but it lasts for less than a second, realising where you’re going back to. “Thank you. That would be lovely.” 

“My pleasure.” 

————

There are no lingering touches on the doorstep of your home. No wash of heat where he’d usually wrap you to his chest, nor a last surge of warmth before the cool creeps in and you’re returned to the dim dampness of your house. Instead you give less than a tight smile, and it seems even Azriel’s lips contain ounces of strain as he yields you once again. 

Returning you to your husband’s uncaring grip. 

————

Busy, she had told him. Busy cleaning the house. 

Azriel knows her husband has been sent off to check in on his relatives throughout the inner camps, so by all means she should be going with him. Not that he’s complaining that her husband might be loosening his grip on the treasure that is his wife. Azriel’ll happily swoop in the moment he senses an opening. It’s not like he’s made it this far through hesitating. 

Though it is out of character for her husband to leave her. While there’s little romance between them, there is still possession. So why leave her? 

————

It’s been two days since her husband had initially set off, and three days since he’s last seen her. Ordinarily Azriel would have no cause for concern—there are days when one of them is busier than usual—but this is preciously unregulated time with her husband entirely out of the picture. 

Not that he’d had plans. The closest he’s gotten is a late night a month and a half ago, the sky having fallen to a dusky blue and the air containing the evening scent of woodsmoke. There’d been a celebration amongst the male Illyrians, cause for bonfires and ale and mead, salted meats with rosemary and indulging in crisped potatoes the size of one’s fist. Her husband had been out and both of them had known he wouldn’t be back for while. 

His fingers had found their way to her cheek, pushing at a stray hair, and then her eyes had fluttered shut. Her hands had been clasped before her chest and her chin had lifted ever so slightly. Then his head had dipped but their mouths barely even touched before a stray breeze had her eyes snapping open, a look of peril on her features. She’d taken a step back, and then another, and then she’d been muttering an apology under her breath and turning for her house. 

They haven’t spoken of it since. 

Azriel had thought he might have a chance to bring it up when he saw her next… Is she avoiding him? The thought doesn’t sit well in his gut. Surely she would have no reason to. And yet, as far as he can tell, she would’ve had no reason to pull away the night he almost kissed her. 

Wings shifting once at his back, Azriel steers his course to pass by her house. Evening is swiftly setting in, and if he isn’t quick he’ll miss his chance for the day—even he can’t deny it would be inappropriate to call in after dark, knowing she was on her own, and Azriel doesn’t want to bring any more trouble her way. Light is fading, the temperature steadily dropping with the dwindling of the sun, and the war camp is quiet as it hasn’t yet reached time for the males to sojourn down to an inn for post-dinner chatter. 

Her house is the one at the end of the street, plenty of space kept between builds to allow room for gardens where veg will spring in the summer. There are no lights on that he can see, windows dark and seemingly empty. His brow furrows. Did her husband have a change of heart and bring her along as a last minute decision? Surely he would have known. 

Keeping his pace steady, Azriel sends his shadows far on ahead, letting them curl around the back of the house, peering in dark glass to a darker interior. Empty. Strange. Surely, Azriel would have known if she’d ended up going with him… That’s her dressing robe hanging from the door; all her shoes by the front entrance, tucked between her husbands boots; the fleeced cloak she would take if she really was to travel deeper into the brutal terrain further north. Hair prickles at the nape of his neck. 

Azriel allows his shadows to sweep the area, senses on high alert as he scans for any watchful eyes. When he finds none, he walks to her front door. 

Locked. That’s fine.

Keeping his shadows aware, he calmly walks to the side, finding the large windows that let light into their living room—large enough for him to climb through, once the latch is…perfect. Shadows slip between the wood holding the glass and flip the latch open, pushing the windows ajar. 

No sooner than he’s inside, a thick scent nearly chokes him, so concentrated and sweet he has to cover the lower portion of his face at first. The window clicks shut, and hazel eyes scan the vacant interior of their sitting room. Nothing is out of place, no shattered vases or broken plates, no blood stains on the floor, but that scent. Cautiously, Azriel sniffs once, bringing it into his lungs, filling them up and spreading into his bloodstream. Whatever is producing that smell, he can feel as it courses through his body, pulse kicking up. It’s unusually hot for a house built in Illyria. It should be much more draughty, not toeing the line of sweltering. Where’s all this heat coming from? 

Not hearing any approaching footsteps, Azriel enters further into the enclosure, keeping his shadows ahead of him, patrolling corridors and doorways to keep himself hidden. 

The scent builds, so dense he wonders if he’s even breathing air anymore or whether it’s pure… His tongue shifts in his mouth, throat rolling. His mouth is watering. 

Azriel stiffens. 

An increase in temperature. Prickling skin. Excessive working of salivary glands. Blood rushing with increased fervour. …This strangely sweet scent. Azriel inhales sharply, a faint tremble in his knuckles as he wraps his hand around the bedroom’s door handle. The door opens. 

Azriel’s spine turns rigid…the scent is so much stronger. So strong his head is hurting.

But then his eyes find the bed, and his thoughts eddy away. 

Her wings are bound at her back, rendered immobile and useless; coarse, thick rope has been tied around her wrists, wrapping around her forearms so they’re pulled together at the base of her spine, so tightly snared her shoulders are taut where they’re being wrenched back from her chest; darkened fabric has been tied at the back of her head, biting into her cheeks where it’s been slipped through her mouth, wet with saliva; rope has been wound around her ankles, knees, and thighs, making it impossible for her to move save for light circles of her hips. 

The scent is coming from her. 

She’s gone into heat. 

————

How much longer? How much longer until it’s over? 

You can’t even rub your thighs together from how closely they’re bound, not even an ounce of friction to soothe the aches riddling your body. Your arms have long since turned numb, though the edges of your mouth are rubbed raw and sore. Heat swelters beneath your skin, temples dewy and a thick gleam coats your body where sweat has permeated through the pores of your flesh. 

It’s pure hell. 

Exactly what Baeril had intended when he’d tied you up before departing for the innermost camps set up in the frozen mountains of Illyria. After all, he wouldn’t be able to be with you after the task he’d been assigned with would take up almost all of his time, and if he was going to have to suffer through the absence of sex, then he was going to make it ten-times as torturous for you. No romance, no love; just pure possession. Your pleasure is something of his—something he wouldn’t allow you to have unless it was from him. 

A floorboard creaks behind you, and you whimper into the rag. Is he finally back? 

Your hips wind in a circle, weakly shifting in the bed as you try to do whatever you can to lure him closer, to relieve you of the ties, or at least remove the ones from your legs so he can slide between them. With the angle of your head on the pillow you can’t see him, but you try to lift onto your knees only to find yourself too weak to manage anything more than raising an inch from the mattress. 

The slicing of steel through coarse strands of rope snickers through the room and you find your ankles free, circling your feet as they tingle with feeling. You whine into the rag, squirming desperately beneath your bonds. Your knees part next, and the waves of heat increase the more freedom you’re allowed, the closer you come to being able to move and receive. A rough hand wraps around the top of your thigh, holding you in place as the blade slips beneath the rope, severing the final tie.

With a pained whimper, your legs press together, managing to half-roll onto your side, thighs rubbing against one another to invite more of that delicious heat to gather. A calloused palm wraps around your upper arm, probably to sever the ropes binding your upper body but you shift before he can continue. 

You don’t need any more freedom—you just need him to fuck you. 

————

Azriel’s back teeth might split beneath the tension that’s clenching in his jaw. 

Now her legs are free, she’s managed to work herself into what she deems an ample position: knees pushing into the cushioning of the mattress a little further than shoulder width apart, her spine curving to invite him closer, face pressing deeper into the pillows. He can’t imagine the rope around her wings or arms being anything less than painful, but it seems her heat is taking priority. 

He could instruct her to lie down, to let him cut the ropes on her body, but he doesn’t want to alarm her. She’ll be expecting her husband, not him. What if she doesn’t want him now she’s in heat? Fuck, they haven’t even had their first kiss, and yet he’s on his knees behind her and trying not to think about how perfectly they’re aligned. All he’d need to do is push her dress up, loosen the ties of his leathers, and that would be it. 

The only problem is that it would be unforgivably wrong. 

Her legs are open, her hips circling faintly, needy sounds pouring into that gag, but none of it is for him. He needs to cut her free. 

Gritting his teeth tighter, he leans over her enough to slide the cold steel of the blade between the first three coils of rope, severing them like fabric scissors through silk. No sooner than her arms are freed, her legs have wrapped themselves around his hips, her left shin and foot wrapping around his back so she can haul her right to lock at his back. Muscles flex in her wings as her arms push beneath her, lifting herself up as she squeezes with her legs, aligning his hips with her centre, thighs working to keep them flush tight together. 

Azriel exhales harshly, his palms working to disentangle her legs from his waist but it’s like she’s locked in, having grown impossibly strong in order to gain what she wants. She squeezes him once more, and her grip is tight enough he’s pulled forward, hands slamming down either side of her in the mattress, narrowly avoiding knocking her wings. 

He can hear the whimpers stuck in her throat, the way her body is shifting beneath her own, and he forces himself to get a grip. He has to keep steady. He’s working to help you, not take advantage of you. Shadows curl, and he retains enough control over himself to have the steel blade slicing through the ropes around your wings before pushing himself away, ripping from your grip. 

A pained noise moans from behind the rag, and Azriel watches as she tries to weakly shift upright, her upper arms shaking as pheromones filter through the already thickly sweet air. His mouth opens in preparation to explain, but she’s already turned around on her knees, fingers splayed delicately between the sheets, her pupils dilated and lips parted as they try to work around the gag. 

Both of them freeze when their eyes lock, neither having been prepared for the current situation. 

————

Azriel. 

His name alone provides more comfort and relief than you’ve received in the past week, a cool sweep of lightheadedness coursing through your body. 

It’s Azriel, and everything’s okay. 

You manage to sit back on your knees, hands trying to release the gag from your mouth and you could cry from frustration when your fingers fumble, being unfamiliar with whatever way he’d tied the pieces together. 

Azriel’s throat rolls once. “Here.” He says. “Let me.” 

Your hands fall away, shuffling closer so he can work on the tie. Your chest rises up and down, eyes flitting from his dilated hazel set to the inviting heat of his soft mouth, how good his lips will feel. 

The gag loosens, and Azriel meets your gaze, a deep apology already held on the tip of his tongue. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice thick and heavy, scratching at your ears, “I’ll find you some medicine, just—” 

Your arms lock over his shoulders, flinging your weight into his chest, mouth colliding with his own. Gods, if your eyes were open they would have rolled to the back of your skull, indulging in the heaven of his hair between your fingers, soft and smooth and silky. Clean and taken care of. Need pounds between your legs, pressing your hips tight to his front as your nails scrape up the nape of his neck, scratching just beneath his jaw as your teeth tug on his lower lip, dragging on it sultrily. 

Hazel eyes widen by an almost imperceptible margin, fingers enclosing around your wrists but not yet making any moves. Caught between pulling you away and pushing you into the bed.

“Azriel,” you pant, retracting enough for words to narrowly fit between your mouths. A shudder of pleasure zips up your spine from the taste of his name, a flutter of arousal spasming in your lower belly. “Azriel…” It comes out more high-pitched the second time, more desperate and hoarse. What a state you must be in. How long have you even been lying there? 

You don’t think about it. You just want to taste his name once more. 

But, “Wait,” he instructs, forcing himself to retreat. A noise of pure pain breaks from your chest, nails finding purchase in his well-muscled shoulders, trying to keep him from leaving as you shake your head. “Azriel, please. Please don’t…” You stare up at him, palms gripping onto him in supplication. “Please…” Hot water drips down your cheek, overwhelmed by wild hormones gushing through your bloodstream, making everything too much and so, so, confusing. 

“I just need to find you medicine,” he tries to reason but you can hear the unsteady inhale of breath, the heightened staccato of his pulse. “Then you’ll be thinking clearly again. A little.” 

“Fuck me,” you breathe, ignoring what he’s trying to tell you. “Please.” You push your bodies closer, certain he’ll be able to feel the full press of your breasts to his chest, the inviting softness of your body and… Your mouth opens in a moan when you feel the hard outline of him digging into your lower stomach. That needs to be inside of you. Right now. 

“I can’t,” he whispers, his eyes shining at the hurt you’re clearly experiencing. “I— That would be wrong. Let me find you—”

“There’s none in the house. No one will have any up here. It’ll take hours. Help me.” You don’t know where the reasoning comes from, but maybe the desperation is making your mind work more efficiently to provide a succinct, compelling argument. “You know me. I want you. I wanted you before this. I’ll want you after. Please.” 

“Are you—”

“Yes. Please.” 

His wings have lifted at his back—perhaps he’s not even aware of it himself—looming over the broad set of his shoulders, and you just know you need them to be flared while he’s on top of you. Holding you down in the bed. His weight keeping you pinned. 

Then you’re being forcefully pushed down into the mattress, his mouth atop your own, and heat bursts throughout your body. Your thighs part, legs eager to wrap around his hips, and you—ohh. That’s good. 

A moan spills from your lips when you managed to rub against him, the thick length of him pushing at the delicate part between your legs. “Azriel,” you pant, chest heaving up and down, “Azriel I need you. Now.” 

“Right now?” 

You swirl your hips, knowing it will feel torturous to him but he clearly needs the incentive of arousal to have him acting. “Don’t hold back,” you whisper, grinding up against him, already fantasising about how good he’ll feel inside of you. How full you’ll be. His wingspan alone is promising you pleasure, but he’s also an alpha, so… Your throat rolls, wondering if you might have bitten off more than you can chew. Alphas are notoriously…well off. 

Azriel pulls back as far as you’ll. Let him, looking down at you with colour high on his cheekbones. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he pants. 

“You won’t,” you assure, cupping his jaw, squeezing his hips. His throat rolls, and you want to bite him. Lick and nip and bite. 

“Give me a safe word,” Azriel demands, his voice rough and coarse. “You need to have… So I can be sure.” He’s just as breathless as you are. “Choose one.” 

You say the first word that comes into your head. “Knot.” 

Azriel’s head falls to the crook of your shoulder and neck, groaning audibly beside your ear, his hips lazily grinding against your clothed sex. Hot breath fans your bare skin, and you incline your chin for him to access your throat but his hands are fisted in the sheets, tension lining his powerful body. “Pick a different one,” he grits out. “You’re not having knot as your—”

Your hand has slipped between your bodies, cupping him before palming carefully at the large outline in his leathers. His tension rises, his whole body going rigid before he pulls far enough back to snarl, glaring down at you. Arousal floods between your thighs, squirming beneath the heated look. “Pick a godsdamned safe word or I’m tying you back up and getting that medicine.” 

The ropes had hurt. A lot. 

So why is your skin only growing hotter at the suggestion? 

“Rope,” you manage to get out. It doesn’t make much sense but as far as safe words go, it’ll do. Azriel seems to find it satisfactory, dipping his head once. “Say ‘rope’ if it gets too much then. I’ll stop.” 

“Mhmm.” You nod instantly, whimpering when he pulls back to untie his leathers. The whimpers turn into a moan when shadow crawl up your calves, looping around your knees to keep them spread, carefully pulling away the fabric of your skirts until you’re almost bare. 

Your head tips back into the cushions when the darkness swipes up the centre of your sex, flicking over your clit. They make to curl around the band at your hips but Azriel curses foully under his breath, hazel eyes so dark they’re nearly black as he gazes between your parted thighs. You’d gone into heat the day Baeril had left, cunt practically drooling slick every minute of every hour since then. The sheets are more than soaked, and your underwear is practically suctioned to your sex, strands of arousal webbing between your thighs. 

Azriel groans softly before both his palms are wrapping beneath your knees, allowing their underside to slot between his thumbs and second fingers. Your spine arches, thighs trembling as he buries his face between your legs creating a wild fluttering sensation in your lower belly, hips circling as you rub against whatever friction he’ll provide even if it means soaking his face in the process. If he likes it then you’re fine to adhere. Who are you to refuse pleasure?

The orgasm breaks across your skin with violent force, your breathing stuttering as your spine arcs off the bed, cunt fluttering around nothing as he licks up the wet mess between your thighs. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking tenderly on the sensitive part and you could cry from satisfaction. How relieved you are he innately knows where to touch. Even after the orgasm has finished washing through your body, it feels like only a few litres of pleasure have been released from behind a one-hundred foot tall dam. 

“Azriel,” you pant, tugging at his hair. “More. I need more. Please.”

“So quickly?” He drawls, though it comes out breathless. You squirm, trying to free your legs from his grip, your knees still practically shoved to your chest to make room for him. “You’re being cruel,” you cry, winding your hips, needing him inside. He seems to take pity on you there, releasing your legs to prowl up your torso, taking your dress with him, nearly tearing it clean from your body—you wouldn’t have minded. But now you’re naked and completely exposed save for the underwear at your hips, and Azriel’s looking like he might try and make you cum from licking and playing with your breasts alone. Then again with the aid of your heat, anything’s possible. 

Almost reverently, Azriel thumbs across one of your nipples, watching your reactions with a keenness that has a fire simmering in the pit of your stomach. But, “Azriel…” you whimper. “Not now…” 

Hazel eyes soften, then he’s nodding his head. Swallowing. “I’ll take care of you.” 

Breaths pant between you and your tongue wets your lips when you see his hand wrapped around his cock, the tip holding a bead of precum and your cunt aches as it swells with liquid before drizzling down his tip. You need to taste him. Gods he’s going to feel so good inside of you, and you hold your legs apart to make room for him. 

“You’re going to tell me if you need time, okay?” Azriel instructs, drawing your attention to his eyes. “We can go slower if it’s too much. Take as much time as you need.” 

“Put it inside,” you beg, hips shifting eagerly, ready to take him. “It’ll fit.” Azriel pauses, glancing at you doubtfully, “I’ve barely touched you. If it’s too much you’re taking my fingers instead. I’m not going to hurt you.” But you shake your head, need coursing through your veins, and he’s right there. 

“You wouldn’t have been made that big if you wouldn’t fit me.” 

Azriel groans, but it’s clear he’s struggling. Why is he struggling, he just needs to slide in. It’ll be fine. Why’s he waiting? What’s taking him so long? Why’s he not going in? 

His tip presses to your entrance and you freeze with anticipation. Almost there. 

Scar-roughened fingers lace with your own, gently pinning your hands to the bed as he leans his weight over you. 

He goes slowly as he’d told you he would. Inch by inch. Sliding deeper, and deeper. Air is pushed from your lungs, and even while he’s still you can feel his cock pushing upward against that spot. A few strokes of his thumb over your clit and you’ll be gone. Hazel eyes lock with yours, blinking before his brows raise, glancing lower as his hand slides between you. One. Two…

“Oh.” 

————

Azriel’s breath is trapped in his lungs as she flutters around him.

He hasn’t even moved yet and she’s coming on his cock. 

Her lips are parted and she looks like she’s in heaven right now. 

And she did say to not hold back. 

————

You don’t get a chance to hold onto anything when he draws his hips back and suddenly pushes back in before the aftershocks have even properly faded. 

You don’t have room to moan when he repeats the action but harder. 

You don’t have space for thought when he makes it a regular pace, fingers digging into your hips to angle them up from the bed so his cock can rub against that spot that had you coming so fast before. 

You don’t get a chance to fully acclimatise to the onslaught of pleasure. 

He’s perfect. 

Your hips lift in time to meet his thrusts, winding and bucking to take everything he can give, eager to have him filling you up until he’s making the sheets as wet as you are. Your spine arches as he holds your legs apart, roughly slamming into you over and over, hitting that spot again and again until you’re screaming with pleasure, head tipped back and mouth completely open, being fucked further up the mattress with every snap of his hips. 

“Is that better?” He asks and you’re astounded by the mild tone. He’s currently obliterating your world and yet he sounds completely in control. You manage a nod and he lowers his mouth to the hollow of your throat, halting the sharp thrusts but keeping you tightly pulled to his hips as he licks up the side of your throat. You feel more down-to-earth than you have over the past two days, and you’re approaching the peak of your heat right now. He’s keeping up with you. 

“Sit in my lap for a bit?” 

You hear the question but can manage little more than a series of dazed blinks. Then a vacant nod. 

His lips curve and hazel eyes twinkle, then his powerful arms are sliding beneath your back and hauling you upright, shifting the both of you so his back is against the headboard and you’re straddling his lap. Your knees sink down into the bed and his cock presses against your inner walls. 

“I can see you…you’re inside of me.” Your palm tentatively settles over the bump in your lower belly, shifting your hips faintly over his lap to feel him rub against you. “Az…you…oh.” 

His shadows wrap around your middle, stroking your sides soothingly as they squeeze your abdomen, the pressure having your eyes flutter with pleasure. “You feel so good,” you breathe, lips staying parted on the exhale, a blissed out heaviness to your half-open eyes. “So right, inside.” 

“You’re adorable,” he chuckles breathily into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning ticklishly across the intimate expanse, fangs dragging teasingly along. His lips curve against your throat, and a small, needful hum simmers in your chest. “So perfect.” 

Teeth prod into your lower lip, fingers tangling in the silky strands of his hair. He smells delicious. Clean but distinctly male. Distinctly himself. “You’re perfect,” you argue back, hardly louder than a murmur. You pull back to look at one another, your skin heating with the strange intimacy. 

“Why’d you stop?” You ask, playing with the ends of his hair. Azriel doesn’t avert his gaze, palms spanning the sweep of your hips, thumbs stroking faintly. “Lift up,” he tells you, softer than a whisper; a gently uttered command. You flush at his low cadence, but obey. 

Try to obey. 

You’re stuck. 

Azriel groans softly when you squeeze him, fingers digging into your hips when you try to start riding him, instincts urging you to have him releasing. 

“Az, why-”

“Slow down. It’s okay.” His palm settles atop the crown of your head, stroking gently. “I should have pulled out before it formed. Just wait until it goes away then I promise we can start again.” 

“But I want to take it,” you insist, leaning into his chest. “I want your knot.” His throat rolls but he doesn’t relent. “I don’t regularly take a tonic, pretty thing.”

“That’s fine. I still want it.” 

“You want it now,” he stresses that last part, still remaining steady. You don’t feel like he’s chastising you. “What about when you’re not in heat?” 

“I’ll still want it. Please.” 

Azriel shakes his head, eyes still soft despite their hunger. “When your heat passes we can talk more about…what will happen between us. For now…”

“Us?” You ask, pulse spiking. 

“Is that… Do you not want an us?” 

“I want an us. What about-”

“Please don’t say his name right now.” You flush, tightening around him, shifting in his lap. “Well, what about that? I’m married…” 

“It’s illegal to confine someone in the way he did to you. Especially since I’m assuming he knew you were going into heat?” You nod your head, choosing not to think about what could have happened had Azriel not shown up. A muscle feathers in his jaw before he continues. “Then that’s a kind of torture. More than enough ground for departure.” His throat rolls. “If you…?”

“Are you sure?” 

He stares at you. 

You glance away. “You aren’t-…I mean, this isn’t lust speaking, is it? You’ll mean what you’re saying once you’re done with me?”

“Done with you?” 

“Once my heat is passed…” 

He’s still staring.

“Have I said something wrong?” You ask, once again shifting in his lap. 

Scar-roughened palms cup your cheeks, hazel eyes shining as he pulls you closer. “I’ve been hoping to take you from him for the past three years.” Your heart flutters in your chest, leaning into the solid heat of his chest. “Once your heat is passed, it’s your choice what to do, but know I’d like to be part of it still. In whatever way you might let me.” 

“Are you…”

“I’m serious.” His thumb swipes across the crest of your cheek. “I can tell you this all again once your heat is passed, if that will help. I want to… I want to be with you.” 

You’re too stunned to speak, heart about ready to grow its own set of wings and fly far away. Flutter to the skies and float away on a warm breeze. 

You shift in his lap once more, still able to feel his knot inside of you—not as big as before but definitely still there. Your tongue swipes across your lips. “Emerie…will have something. To prevent pregnancy, I mean.” His throat rolls, and your teeth tug at the interior of your lower lip. “So, as long as I can take that within the next day…” You roll your hips gently over his own, tightening around him as your hands slowly glide up his chest. 

“When I leave to get…a tonic.” He seems to be having a hard time getting through this one. “Will you be okay?” You blink, averting your eyes as you consider. You’d rather he didn’t leave…you don’t want to endure any more of that heat without reprieve, but you so badly want to take his knot. To feel him spill inside of you. You’re not sure you’ll be able to survive without that. 

Your eyes catch on a sheath strapped to his thigh. The smooth metal handle of the dagger he’d used to cut you free. Curved and cylindrical. 

You clear your throat, feeling the heat begin to return. “Is that clean?” 

Beneath you Azriel freezes. “…Yes.” 

“And…so…would you mind if I…” 

“No.” He tries to clear his throat. Swallows. “No, it’s fine. You can use it.” His voice strains over that last part. “I’ll clean it again, before leaving you. But yes. You’re more than- I mean, I don’t mind. If it will help you, then please-”

Your lips press to his, and the rigidity begins to thaw. Gently circling your hips, you want to entice him to make you move, to angle and direct you as he pleases. The thought alone of having him guide you has wild butterflies coming alive between your legs.

“Give it to me,” you whisper, nails scratching lightly beneath his jaw. “Let me take it.” Azriel nods, looking up at you as though dazed. His eyes are glazed, lips parted, fingers skimming over your skin. “I want…I want you to use me to get there,” you utter softly, unsure whether to be embarrassed over the admission. When he twitches inside of you, you decide you’re proud of your decision.

“You want me…? To…?”

Teeth prod at your lip, and you nod your head. “I want you… To…”

Azriel swallows thickly but nods nonetheless. “Okay.”

Hands readjust their grip on your hips, fingers spanning up to your waist before he lifts you from his lap—as far as you can go—then sliding you back down. His breathing stutters and you try to vaguely follow his directions, lifting up, then down, using the muscles in your legs to ride him as much as you can.

He’s growing bigger inside of you. Swelling at the base of his cock. Locking you tighter together until it’s impossible to slide much up or down. Instead he inclines your body into him, breasts pressing flush to his chest, your fingers scrambling at the hem of his clothes, encouraging them away so he’s bare.

Powerful arms wrap around your back, minding your wings while keeping you plastered to his front. It feels good, to be held like this during sex. The tenderness is something you hadn’t known was an option, but now he’s so freely offering it to you you’re taking it with both hands, arms wrapping over his shoulders.

A moan is pushed from your chest when he bucks his hips, his arms keeping you strapped to his torso, shadows delicately snaring your forearms to bind them as they’d been when he found you.

“Is this okay?” He whispers, lips tickling the shell of your ear. “It’s good,” you reassure, too caught up in pleasure to really think.

Azriel bites his lip as he holds you upright, letting his shadows roam across your front, his palms playing with your breasts, thumbing across your nipples before trailing back down to your hips. Bucking up into you. Guiding you to rock back and forth, your clit rubbing over his abdomen.

“Azriel…I’m…”

He nods. “Good.”

“But what about you…?”

“I’m nearly there…just keep…” He cuts himself off with a deep groan, one you can feel vibrating through your own body, sending tremors up your thighs.

He twitches twice, then he’s filling you up, knot swollen to its full size so it’s impossible to lift off him, locked together while he empties himself inside. Your lips part with pleasure, another orgasm rolling through your limbs, spreading to your tip toes and fingertips. It’s the most powerful one yet, ecstasy heightened by his own orgasm, feeling as he fills you up so perfectly.

Azriel holds you all the way through it, shadows stroking tenderly up and down over your body, putting soothing touches into your skin before eventually unraveling from your arms, allowing you to reach out for him. Fingers interleaf with your own, squeezing faintly.

It’s different knowing this isn’t temporary. That it’s not just sex. That there is romance, and it’s not just possession.

Maybe it’s more than just romance. He had almost kissed you before you’d run away…

You’ll just have to trust that he’ll keep caring after this immediate heat is passed. That he really does want to take you away, and be with you. And looking at him now…feeling the gentle touch, the light patterns he’s drawing on your skin, waiting patiently for you to signal whether you want more or a break…

You smile, inclining your head until your noses are brushing. Close enough to feel the stutter of air his lashes send your way. “I want you to stay with me. After this is passed.”

Hazel eyes blink, his lips softening at their corners. “I’d wish for nothing more.”

Your toes curl, a fluttery feeling in your heart, and you press a small kiss to his mouth.

His knuckles graze your cheek before cupping you jaw, indulging in the sweet press of you lips.

Perfection.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @slut4acotar @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy @decomposing-writer @soph1644 @lilah-asteria @nighttimemoonlover @mrsjna

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[imagine-darksiders]

Based on that one ask with Optimus and the flowers.

Question is, did he have to drive all the way there with the flowers? Because that is impressive.

!!!!!!!!

YOU DREW THIS!!!???

Look at HIM! Such a gentlemech.

He did, he absolutely asked one of the kids to place the bouquet on his bonnet and then drove like 10mph to the drive in theatre. Probably even stopped on the way to let a butterfly gather nectar, the big metal softie.

[asahicore]

falling asleep with treasure !!

pairing. bf!treasure x reader genre. established relationship, fluff <//3 and crack (??) word count. 1.7k author's note. this has been sitting unfinished in my drafts for so long omg.. thank u to that one anon for remembering it existed and sending me an ask about it lmao! i had gotten this idea randomly thinking about clingy junkyu and then boom... this mess of a reaction slash headcanon slash idk thing came to life. hope u enjoy! it was also an excuse to use those photos of doyoung cz hes so cutie pie in them

fall asleep cuddling, drift apart while sleeping, wake up, notice you’re not cuddling, start cuddling again, and repeat - hyunsuk

hyunsuk gives off healthy mature long-term relationship vibes to me okay. i feel like a lot of couples that have been together for a while end up not cuddling while sleeping but rather get into their own comfortable sleeping positions, and then throughout the night, even though you’re so sleepy you’re barely conscious, when you realize that you’re not cuddling, you scooch back into each other’s arms. he always hits snooze on the alarm at least once in the morning just to get ten extra minutes of being with you before having to get up.

you both wake up stinky and sweaty every single time - jihoon

and it's because the two of you fall asleep in your cuddling position (usually you as the little spoon or resting your head on his chest, but you force him to let you spoon him sometimes), and then you don't. move. not an inch. if it gets too hot, one of you throws the blankets away, or gets rid of their pajama pants, or regains enough consciousness during the night to turn the fan on, but under no circumstances will you break away from your cuddling position - unless it is to get into another cuddling position, of course. it's quite nice, but it means that morning showers are obligatory, because you both smell atrocious after a night of being stuck to each other like glue on paper.

you’re not his partner, you’re his personal pillow - yoshi

you know those anime body pillows? yup. that's what you become when yoshi wants to cuddle. he gives me major cuddler vibes, so you’ll have tried every position in the book, but his favorite is definitely the one where he gets to use to your chest as a pillow and you graze your fingernails against his scalp. he’s got a leg hiked up over your hips and has his arms circling your waist and holding you tight. you can’t move. nothing will have him falling asleep as fast as that. your voice is like a lullaby to him, so he especially likes it if you talk to him in a low voice while he drifts off to sleep. he’s so happy he could fall asleep with a smile on his face. he’s so cute i’m going to off myself

you can’t escape the death hold he has on you - junkyu

a big portion of your time hanging out with junkyu is spent napping. something that surprises you every time is how even though he isn’t the touchiest of boyfriends, if you fall asleep cuddling, you literally cannot move unless you wake him up and make him let you go. forget going to the toilet when you wake up in the morning or getting a snack during your afternoon nap: if junkyu has you in his grip, you cannot escape. he doesn’t even seem to notice: he just wakes up with an innocent smile on his face, saying “oh, you’re awake, y/n?” even though you’ve been trying to discreetly untangle yourself from him for the past thirty minutes. 

*cutely drools on you* - jaehyuk

now i could NOT tell you why but jaehyuk gives me like… snorer and drooler vibes 😭 but like in a cute way okay… once he falls asleep he’s just out like a light, he can’t help it. he’s like those cartoon characters that sleep with their mouths wide open and there’s a bit of saliva at the corner of their lips. and they’re very light snores that are fun to record and embarrass him with. if you didn’t love him so much, it might give you the ick. but anyways, in terms of cuddling i see him as a mix of everyone above in a way; he loves both holding you close to him and being in your arms, he loves both rubbing your back or you playing with his hair, he loves falling asleep while cuddling but he’s also happy if you need more space and just have, like, your feet or hands touching. as long as you’re next to him he knows he’ll sleep well <3

wakes up every time you so much as move a finger - asahi

any asahi lore expert such as myself will know that asahi is a very light sleeper. i think for him cuddling is more of an activity than a way of falling asleep if that makes sense? like he’ll do it when you’re watching something, or when you’re talking and want to be physically close at the same time, but he just can’t fall asleep while cuddling. he also sweats easily, so the added warmth would just make it not fun for him 😭he’d do it for you if you really wanted it, but he’d rather just hold hands while sleeping or something like that. you’d also feel sorry for him with how often he woke up during the night, even if it was just for a few seconds, everytime you moved around too noisily or snored. he also always wakes up before you, and you’d need to have a conversation with him about how you’d rather wake up with him next to you rather than wake up without him, only to find him in the kitchen making breakfast for you :( he just wants to do something nice for him, but you’d rather be able to kiss him first thing in the morning!!!! sorry my bias is showing a bit

watches you while you sleep for so long it becomes creepy - doyoung

oh this boy 😭 if he falls asleep after you or wakes up before you, you just know he's going to be propping himself up on his elbow, gazing down at you with soft eyes and a fond smile because you're just the prettiest person in the world to him, and there's nothing else he'd rather be looking at. and he isn’t rattled in the slightest if you catch him doing it, too. he'll just smile wider and say "hey, baby" or "sleep well?", that fucker. it's lowkey creepy, but it's doyoung, so it's okay. it’s a bit jarring at first, locking eyes with someone right when you wake up, but you get used to it. i see him as similar to jaehyuk in the sense that he’s happy to fall asleep, cuddling or not cuddling, in whatever way you prefer. he’d probably like to fall asleep facing you so that he could see your face right as he woke up (in a lovely, enamored way, not in a creepy way!) 👍

keeps you from falling asleep but grumpy when you try to wake him up - jeongwoo

jeongwoo seriously gives me tired all day until it's time to go to bed vibes, like he'll usually be chill with bursts of energy here and there but in the evening he's like a cat with the zoomies. it's like 11pm and you're just trying to fall asleep because you have class or work the next day but your boyfriend is bouncing all over the room and talking a hundred words a minute, keeping you awake way past your bedtime. it's kinda cute sometimes, but most of the time, you want to suffocate him with your pillow. usually, though, he'll calm down if he sees you're really tired, or if you force him to stay in your arms and start threading your hands through his hair or rub patterns against his back - that really calms him down. he becomes super quiet instantly and can even fall asleep like that. but dear lord, when that alarm rings the next morning, you do not want to talk to him for the following fifteen minutes. he is so grumpy and sleepy in the morning, i just know. it's impossible to get him out of bed and you've just learnt to get up yourself and wait for him to wake up - although it's better to check that he hasn't fallen back asleep (which he usually has). he just keeps groaning for five more minutes and buries his head in his pillow to block the light out, but if you press a kiss to his cheek or forehead, that usually gets him to open his eyes and start smiling, then ask for a proper good morning kiss on the lips. this kid is annoying as hell, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

forgets his size and rests his whole body on you - haruto

haruto is like those big dogs that have no idea they're so big and wonder why they can't just lay on top of you. “it's because you're suffocating me, ruto! you're too heavy to rest your whole weight on me.” when you'd told him that, he pouted so hard and had seemed so genuinely upset that you apologized, took him back in your arms and simply neglected your need to breathe for a little longer. he is also one hundred percent that guy who will deny wanting cuddles or any sort of skinship, but if you don’t give it to him, he will be mad at you. if you do give it to him, he’ll pretend he doesn’t like it. you just have to be a mind reader, i guess. all this to say that even if he doesn’t tell you outright, haruto definitely wants to cuddle to sleep. sure, you can fall asleep in his arms if you really want (he loves it), but he’d rather fall asleep on you like yoshi does, even though he’s way too heavy for that.

you fight every time you have to decide who gets to be the little spoon - junghwan

my son.. do you guys know that “thank you myson!” jimin meme… anyways… junghwan might have buffed up over the years but do not get him wrong, that man is a little spoon until the day he dies. if you are also the little spoon, you will have to fight. simple as that. you can decide if it’ll be a tickle fight, an argument where you try to prove why you defend to be the little spoon more, or an actual fist fight (you might lose though), you’ll have to settle it one way or another. no matter how much both of you try to deny it, you love it either way anyway. as much as you love the feeling of his arms around you, there’s something about holding such a big man in your arms like he’s half the size that he is. 

permanent taglist: @k-ingzo @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz @bucketofhiros (ask to be removed/added!)

treasure taglist: @mosviqu @nunoozi

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2024. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs always appreciated!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

YOU DRINK YOUR COFFEE BLACK AND WE ARE AFRAID OF EACH OTHER ; SHOKO IEIRI

synopsis; shoko makes you a morning cup of coffee; turns out she’s not very good at that, but it’s the thought that counts.

word count; 4.2k

contents; shoko ieiri/reader, gn!reader (but written w a fem!reader in mind), fluff fluff fluff!!, just normal morning shenanigans at the ieiri household, implied stsg (my brand), shoko can be a girlfailure. as a treat, reader is absolutely whipped (and so am i)

a/n; been writing too much gojo n geto lately. neglecting my wife :((((((( let it be known that i am a shoko stan first human second. this one is for my wlws pls eat up!!!!

you wake up to the sound of your girlfriend’s voice.

melodic and soft, low and saccharine; almost like she’s coaxing you out of hiding. a sound so lovely you wish you could drown in it, laced together with a distinctly raspy tilt, one you can only attribute to the copious amounts of cigarettes she smoked back in high school. a leftover residue, bittersweet memories ghosting her lips — one that gets you a little bit weak in the knees.

in the mornings, it’s particularly prominent, a little intoxicating. manifesting itself as a shiver down your spine, a jolt of your heartbeat, a flush on your skin for every word that she speaks. it’s enough to have you slipping from sleep’s embrace, carried back into the cradle of reality.

why you notice her voice first, and not the smell of something burning — or the sound of insistent beeping — is honestly beyond you. 

it doesn’t take long for your sleepy brain to react, however, a pang of anxiety rushing through your slumbering veins. hurriedly stirring you awake. abrupting your dreamlike, drowsy state, tangled up in silken sheets with your neck smudged by lipstick marks; an alluring red, one shoko typically favors when she’s going out for a drink. coming home just a tiny bit tipsy, affectionate and giggly.

and when your eyelids finally flutter open, your mind melting into the motion of the waking world, you shoot up in a sudden bout of panic.

because fuck, you belatedly, groggily realize — that’s the fucking fire alarm.

and shoko is spewing curses, from afar, loud enough that you can hear it even through the fog of fatigue that clouds your brain. a raspy string of words that you don’t quite catch, but they’re enough to have you scrambling out of bed, nearly bumping into the doorframe as you kick the blanket off your legs.

”what happened?” you croak out, chest heaving a little, having stumbled into the smoke-filled kitchen. disgruntled, reeling with the aftermath of your deep slumber, cold air nipping at your bare skin. the balcony door is open, and the smell of rain invades your apartment.

when you look out the window, all you see is a gray sky, blanketed by a thick coating of wool. smothered by clouds, not a single ray of sunlight slipping through the cracks. the world smells dewy and sweet, asphalt and flowers melting into a nostalgic fragrance, one that reminds you a bit of high school smoke breaks — huddling under the slide at the nearest playground, watching a pretty girl wrap her lips around a cigarette, exhaling smoke just for it to melt into the pouring rain.

one that reminds you a bit of the woman right in front of you, balancing on a chair and stretching her goosebump-ridden arms towards the ceiling, wearing nothing but a lacey bra and a pair of unbuttoned jeans. messy hair that cascades down her back, brows furrowed, eyes simmering with irritation — before flitting over to meet your own.

shoko blinks. then sighs. ”you woke up?” she mutters, and you try not to shiver when the tremor of her voice deepens, morning-fatigue seeping into the syllables. “fuck. sorry, i —”

she stumbles a little, shifting her weight from one foot to another, and you take a step forward. on instinct, as if getting ready to cushion her fall. ready to be of service, in any way you can.

”don’t worry,” she fumbles with the fire alarm, clicking her tongue. nails scraping against plastic. “it’s fine, i just need to — there we go.” 

finally, the beeping stops. and your shoulders relax, immediately, the tight little ball inside your chest untangling. with a deep inhale, the fragrance of espresso and smoke fills your nostrils, and a sense of calm washes over you. rooting your feet to the floor. 

shoko settles down, too, seating herself on the wooden chair. a huff slipping from her lips. they’re smudged, a blurry red she still hasn’t found the energy to wipe away. 

bringing a hand up to card through her hair, lithe fingers in between her messy auburn locks, she exhales. a blend between fatigue and relief.

”god. i need a cig.”

a moment passes. she raises her head, and sees the sleepy little pout playing at your lips — her eyes softening. blooming with something fond. giving you a smile, tired, small. but reassuring. 

”i’m just kidding, love,” she chuckles. “relax.”

”don’t joke about that,” you frown, rubbing the sleep from your weary eyes. stifling a tiny yawn. ”.. took me so long to get you to quit.”

(sometimes you can still see the smoke leave her lungs when she exhales.)

shoko keeps smiling, but doesn’t say anything else. the pitter patter of rain against your balcony railing fills the silence of the kitchen, still brimming with a light layer of smoke, slowly dwindling. cold air drawing it out. clad only in one of suguru’s old t-shirts, you shiver, and shoko seems to notice.

“good morning,” she coaxes, opening her arms slightly — and you move forward, a moth to a flame. without thinking. “sorry for waking you.”

she wraps her arms around your waist, attaching her jaw to the curve of your shoulder, and you melt into the embrace. leaning close, to tuck yourself into her neck. she smells like lavender shampoo. “‘s fine,” you mumble, a yawn muffled into her collarbone. “what happened? are you okay?”

when her plump lips press against the sensitive skin of your neck, right next to one of the kiss marks she left there last night, you can’t help but shiver again. she must feel it, because you can hear the smile she’s trying to bite back in her voice when she answers.

“mm,” she hums, a gravelly noise that makes your throat clog up a little. “just burned something, it’s fine. don’t worry.”

tentatively, you take a step back. just to see her. gazing down at her, into her hazel eyes, the fading crescents beneath them. not as dark as they used to be, not as heavy with lost sleep.

shoko is gorgeous. always, every single day, but you think she’s particularly breathtaking like this. when it’s early, and she’s groggy and a little disheveled, eyes weary and lipstick smudged — bra strap close to slipping off her shoulder, black lace against pale skin, moles littering her forearms and chest like star clusters. oversized jeans that expose the curve of her waist, the fat of her hips, and you don’t notice how intently you’re staring until shoko’s raspy voice reaches your burning ears.

“eyes up here, baby.”

you do as you’re told, and she stifles a chuckle. eyes rich with amusement. you try not to blush.

“sorry.” you chew at the inside of your cheek. eyes trailing to the houseplants by the windowsill. “.. you’re just so pretty.”

shoko tilts her head, an exasperated little breath rolling off her tongue. almost a coo. she’s incapable of blushing; but if she wasn’t, you’re sure she'd blush. 

“thanks.” her touch is light, fingertips trailing down the expanse of your arm. “you are, too. red is a good colour on you.”

you blink. shoko’s eyes are crinkled at the edges, soft lines of crows’ feet, and you huff when you realize she’s talking about the marks on your neck. suddenly a little self-conscious, you bring a hand up to rub at the skin — as if hoping to wipe them away. you doubt it works. shoko just breathes out an airy chuckle, getting up from her seat.

she looks tired, still. stretching her limbs out, sleepily, blinking drowsily.

and it’s odd, you think. that she got up this early, that she didn’t cling to you and make you stay with her in bed like she usually does. you don’t know anyone who loves sleeping in more than shoko does. especially after a night out.

so it’s strange. very strange.

“hey, sho.”

“hm?”

you tilt your head. “why are you up this early, anyway?”

she blinks, and then glances at the clock on the wall. ticking idly, counting down. when she looks back at you, she’s got a single eyebrow raised. “it’s not really early.”

“for you it is,” you quip, something resembling a grin tugging at your lips. and she rolls her eyes, smiling, before linking her arm with yours. bringing you to the stove.

“i was, uh —“ a pause. she does a little cough under her breath, clearing her throat. “trying to make coffee.”

silently, you look at the mess in front of you; what used to be your squeaky-clean stovetop, now stained with a muddy, rusty residue. an unassuming coffee pot sits to the side, having seemingly boiled over, smoke still drifting up into the air.

shoko cringes, a little, before a wry smile makes its way to her lips. ”it was…” she clicks her tongue. sighing softly. ”an attempt.”

”… wait.” you turn to look at her, dubiously, and she avoids your gaze. ”that’s what you burned? coffee?” still no answer. a tiny smile tugs at your lips, and you can’t help it if your voice comes out sounding a little teasing. ”how is that even possible?”

”look,” shoko exhales, heavy. ”i don’t know, okay? i think it was the coffee grounds, or something. i look away for one second, and it’s just —”

a little giggle slips from your lips, and shoko shoots you a glare. mostly harmless, but she untangles her arm from your own. ”sorry, it’s just —” you apologize, failing to hide your amusement. ”why didn’t you just use the espresso machine, honey?”

she bites her lip, and you think she might be just a little embarrassed. averting her gaze, briefly flitting towards the machine in question. ”… i didn’t know how to use it,” she mutters. ”i’ve seen you do it, obviously, but i never paid attention to the steps.”

a smile graces your lips. “it’s not that complicated once you know how it works,” you nudge her arm with your elbow. ”it just looks that way.”

she hums. a click of her tongue, as she adjusts her bra strap. ”well, anyway. i tried. so.”

”right.” you try to stifle a grin, to no avail. ”so… you burned your coffee.”

”and woke you up.” she grins, herself, just a tiny bit self-deprecating. but pretty, always, hair falling over her eyes when she tilts her head. ”a mess, aren’t i?”

”not at all.”

shoko looks at you, and your eyes meet hers. unflinchingly. tired irises falling into the gentle hue of your own, trickling down to the curve of your lips. there’s an honesty to your voice that she’s never quite been able to deal with. 

(love, she thinks. a kind of love she finds somewhat hard to stomach. a sea of acceptance that she fears she’ll eventually drown in.)

before she can properly fall into a morning spiral, you stretch your neck a bit, idly, and she gets a good look at the red marks littering your skin. the way your pulse beats at the base of your throat. tender, slight, a mantra she’s grown just a little bit addicted to. 

”why, though?” you hum, and shoko blinks. snapped out of her thoughts, and back into reality. back into you, the faux pout on your lips. playful, but a little confused. ”i thought i was the coffee brewer of this relationship…” 

and it’s true. you’ve been making shoko’s morning cups of coffee for a while, now, even before you moved in together. she likes it black, sometimes with a drop of cream, sometimes with a cube of sugar. never both. you think it’s very like her, to tiptoe that line between bitter and sweet — never entirely giving in to one or the other. there’s a balance to shoko, something stable. something for you to hold on to, a bitter tinge or syrupy taste that always leaves you yearning for more.

truthfully, your coffee brewing skills aren’t anything special. but it makes shoko happy, to wake up and stumble into the kitchen, being able to hug your back. being handed a cup of fresh coffee. sipping from it in silence, muttering out a groggy good morning that makes your heart flutter.

(to you, it’s precious. that lilt of her voice, that bittersweet tinge. the dearest thing in the world.)

plump bottom lip trapped between her teeth, shoko furrows her brows. ever so slightly. nails tapping at the edge of the kitchen counter, a series of satisfying clicks against the marble. “… well.” 

she clears her throat, but doesn’t say anything else. a moment passes. you try to find the answer in the curve of her lips, the crease of her brow, in the depths of her eyes — but you don’t succeed.

something discomforting settles in the bottom of your throat. almost uncertain, maybe a bit anxious. sheepish, as your tired mind spins in circles. parting your lips. hesitant.

“do you… not like the way i make it?” there’s a dejected tilt to your voice when it spills out, one that makes you feel a little silly. so you smile, or try to, eyes trailing towards the windows; you note that the rain has grown heavier. “i can change how —“

“what?” shoko cuts you off. “no. no, of course not — your coffee’s perfect. honestly.”

again, your eyes meet. and again, shoko seems to be struggling with finding the right words. or maybe she’s struggling to voice them.

“i just… haah.” she brings a hand up to her face, pinching the bridge of her nose. you just watch, silent, hungry to hear the thoughts she’s not letting you in on.

a beat. again, the sound of the rain against steel railings, the scent of honeydew and concrete. espresso-flavored smoke, almost entirely faded, leaving only cold air to nip at your thighs. 

and again, as always, inevitably, your eyes are fixed on shoko — a moth to her flame. helpless to the cinders that ghost at your skin whenever she looks at you. a certain contemplation swims inside her eyes, simmering beneath the surface, as she chews gently at the plush of her lips. before turning to face you.

you can only blink. but shoko finally speaks, clearing her throat in a way that strikes you as rather sheepish.

“well — you’re always the one doing all the work. aren’t you?” her voice trickles out into the air, low and saccharine, a blanket pulled over your shoulders. so soft you hold your breath and strain your ears, just to make sure you hear it. “i guess i figured… i don’t know.”

shoko pauses, again, and you can almost delude yourself into thinking there’s a cherry red tint to the tips of her ears. when she parts her lips, that usually carefree voice of hers sounds almost meek. almost, but not quite. more like unsure. embarrassed?

another moment passes, entirely silent. shoko swallows her pride.

“.. satoru always brags about suguru making him those fucked up sugary drinks he likes,“ she mumbles. turning around, to rest her back against the counter, looking out at the downpour. “says it makes him feel so loved. or whatnot. so i just —“ 

she waves her hand, haphazardly. 

“you know.“

a beat. then another. you can physically feel your lips part, a kind of surprise weaving itself into the contours of your face. 

and when you finally speak, your voice comes out a little garbled, scrambling for the right words. not sure if you should feel deeply amused, or just a tiny bit horrified. “wait. you’re saying you…” a moment passes. silent, slow, and all you can do is blink owlishly. in disbelief.

“… got inspired by suguru?”

shoko groans, deep and gravelly, almost comically agonized. covering her face with her pretty hands. “don’t say it,” she pleads, “you’re making it sound as dumb as it is.”

a little giggle slips from your lips. accidental, but she still shoots you a displeased look, huffing under her breath. crossing her arms just to tap at her forearm with her nimble fingers. frowning.

“don’t laugh at me.”

“sorry,” you search for her gaze, but she keeps looking ahead. so stubborn. “i don’t mean to, ‘s just — not very like you, y’know?”

shoko exhales. nearly a huff, but not quite. and you think she must be embarrassed, gnawing at her lip like that, fingers eagerly searching for something to fidget with. it makes you soften, impeccably, the blood inside your veins warming up beneath your skin. stirring you, coaxing you into soothing her. your very own heartbeat seems to be a little enamored with shoko ieiri.

”i appreciate the thought,” you smile. a tender tone, sincere. lingering with amusement. “really. but let’s not base our entire relationship around satoru and suguru of all people, alright?”

and again, she sighs. brittle, a little fatigued. brows scrunching together. ”look, i —”

a pause. she gnaws at her plump bottom lip, eyelashes fluttering like a battered heartbeat. her voice comes out sounding soft, all duvet pillows and fresh lavender, a lilt that anchors you to earth. sweet words. so honest it makes your breath hitch.

”i want to take care of you.”

and this time, you’re the flustered one. burning under her gaze, feeling a heat blossom on your skin. feeling the fervent pitter patter of your heartbeat, as her pretty eyes look into yours. a nice mocha brown. 

but even with the fresh embarrassment trickling through your veins, you find it in you to speak. desperate, maybe, to cross the distance between you — even when it borders on non-existent. desperate to feel your heartbeats synchronize, figuratively or literally. to stitch them together.

“i want to take care of you, too,” you echo, looking down at the floor. and then back at your girlfriend. hesitant, a tad shy. but sincere.

a sincerity so palpable it makes shoko feel a little jealous. 

(sometimes, she finds herself wanting to put a hand inside your chest. dig around your organs, run her fingertips down every single one, until she finds what she's looking for. that miraculous something that makes you stick around, that makes you so frighteningly easy to love. that makes her want to safeguard you so terribly.)

”then let’s take care of each other,” she breathes, a small smile slipping into the curve of her lips. reaching out to brush against your knuckle, weave your fingers together. delicate. 

she clears her throat. “… i guess.” 

and you can’t help but smile. somewhat cheeky, a little teasing. “ah,” your eyes crinkle, and you stifle a coo. “did that embarrass you?”

a sharp little scoff. shoko gives you a lazy grin, paired with a soft roll of her eyes. brushing her thumb across your knuckles, even still. “oh, shut up.”

the world seems to still, ever so slightly, as you look into each other’s eyes. like everything else is just background noise, from the pitter patter of the rain to the fading smell of coffee all around you. shoko looks at you like she’s trying to see inside your brain, see what makes you tick, see you for what you are.

and when she eventually leans in for a kiss, you’re pliant. expectant. her lips against yours, breathing you in, as soft as ever. like she’s afraid of getting too greedy. she tastes like nectar and cosmetics.

“give me some time,” she says, after pulling back. hands on your waist, squeezing softly. “i’ll make you another cup right now.”

”sure you don’t want me to do it?” you ask. “i don’t mind.”

another little scoff. offended. ”look, i’m not incompetent, okay? i’m just not used to it.” she untangles herself from you, warmth slipping away. you will yourself not to chase it. “just stand there and look pretty for me.”

and she smiles, when those words make you giggle, infected by your sleepy joy. something soft and silky blooms inside her ribcage, mirrored by the glimmer in your eyes when you intertwine your hands again. fingertips brushing against each other, delicate, a love that’s handled with care.

”.. i like making you coffee,” you whisper after a beat. smiling. under your breath, like you’re telling her a secret. ”it makes me happy.”

a moment passes. something in shoko’s bones still, for a second, enough for you to notice. and her eyes fill with a kind of hesitance. doubt, maybe. or fear.

when shoko opens up to you, it’s always like this. sleepy, rainy days, or tipsy afternoons. in no more than a whisper, a fragile breath, the ghost of a confession. when you can feel her heartbeat, one finger on her wrist, listening to the rhythm of her pulse. intimate. a little clumsy, but…

”i just don’t want you to spend too much of yourself on me.”

the words are spoken in passing, almost casually, a lighthearted kind of resignation. a hungry ghost. one that follows her, follows you. suguru and satoru, too. there’s a lump in her throat, you can tell, something that makes it a little harder to say what she means. an intimacy that frightens her in a way nothing else can; frightened to hold it in her palms, to keep it close without having it break apart.

(not just her — you all are. all four of you. that’s why you've always been together, you think, why you always will be. four hedgehogs huddling together in the cold of night, too desperate for warmth to stay away from each other's spines.)

carefully, almost cautiously, you bring her hand to your lips. as if you’re handling a flimsy sheet of glass. featherlight, a touch so tender you hope she knows what you’re about to say before the words leave your throat.

“you’re worth it,” is whispered against her skin, your lips against her knuckles. shoko softens, but you think the sigh that slips from her lips sounds just a little shaky. “always.”

and finally, you know you aren't deluding yourself. it’s there, visible, the cherry red of her ears; a red that matches the lipstick on your skin. a flush that never travels down to her face. but it’s enough.

she clears her throat. voice beginning to change shape, slowly but surely, morning fatigue peeled off with the ticking of the clock. there’s still a raspy residue, leftover smoke that’ll never quite leave her lungs, but it’s silkier now. trickling like honey from her parted lips.

and it’s terribly soft, her tongue twisting around the vowels, a low lilt that drips with tenderness. she wills herself to smile. tired, but fond. “just let me make you one cup, then.”

so you do.

you let her, after briefly pointing out the functions of the far too expensive espresso machine that satoru bought you when you first moved in, and she listens intently. those pretty eyes, the intelligence behind them, her lips pursed in focus. shoko’s a genius, you’ve always thought — so effortlessly good at memorization, at figuring out how things work. what ties everything together. 

you think it’s a little comical that she struggled so much with making coffee, of all things, but you choose to attribute it to her slight hangover.  

because she’s focused, when she begins to fiddle with the machine. attentive. as if she’s dissecting it. a satisfaction in the way she moves, the way everything clicks into place as she works. everything serves a purpose, every single part in the machinery, every tube or pump of caffeine. she compares it to the human body, a glint in her eyes, and you can’t disagree.

all you can do is watch her. silently, entirely mesmerized. sitting on the kitchen counter, bare thighs against the marble, swinging your legs. telling her about the dream you had, while she listens. always.

a fresh, thick aroma of espresso and rainwater begins to waft through the apartment. one you drink in, greedy, steam filling your lungs. as you admire how the tiny droplets bounce off the hyacinths blooming on your balcony.

and when she’s finished, producing one cup of espresso, tailored to your liking, you can’t still the beating of your heart. unsure if you should blame it on the caffeine yet to enter your veins, or the proud smile that lingers on your girlfriend’s lips. maybe the way her fingers curl around the handle, the way a soft here, baby, spills from her smudged lips. all of the above, probably.

she’s gorgeous. breathtaking. sometimes you want to give her everything, more than you could live without. your heart, your lungs, your eyes. anything she asks for.

but she would never. all she’ll ever need is for you to keep sticking around, keep telling her about your silly dreams, keep letting her feel the beat of your pulse at the base of your throat. a mantra she’s fallen a little bit in love with.

and when you put your lips against the ceramic, and a bittersweet scent fills your lungs, you think you can taste it. that care, a love soft enough to mend all the jagged edges of your heart.

shoko smiles. smoothing a stray eyelash from your skin, thumb against your cheekbone. “how is it?”

(you swear it’s the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had.)

[wulvercazz]

Ichigo's sure this is just the pain talking, it- it has to be, right?- Grimmjow would not say this if he was fully aware. Yeah, that has to be it. They've been through a lot, he just needs some rest and.. and...

Oh, he is going to faint if Grimmjow keeps talking like that, probably. 

previous~

[sleeplessdreamer14]

we’ll be alright ִ ࣪ ✦˚ drabble

request: no

fandom: treasure planet (2002)

relationship: jim hawkins x gn! reader

summary: You have a touching moment with your boyfriend.

contains: established relationship, fluff, hugs, tears, kiss at the end, short dialogue, no reader pronouns, second person POV, very sappy

a/n: this is set post voyage, and was inspired by Fine Line

Resting his head on your shoulder, Jim takes a slow deep breath as he relaxes against you. You feel his shoulders shake a little as he lets out a soft chuckle under his breath. His hands wrap around your middle and he pulls you in closer, locking you in a wholehearted embrace as if this was the last time he ever would. He’s so close that you can almost feel the subtle beat of his heart against your chest.

You can tell by the way that he buries his face into your shoulder and takes a slow deep breath that he’s on the brink of crying. Tears of your own begin to well up in your eyes as you return the gesture, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a gentle squeeze as you lean your head on him.

It’s perfect. As if you were made to hold each other, fitting in each other’s arms like lock and key. Part of you wanted to spend the rest of forever here.

Just as the thought crosses your mind, you hear a muffled sniff come from Jim as he begins to raise his head and slowly pull back. Not completely, just enough so you can look at him.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jim says softly, reaching down and taking one of your hands in his. As he presses the back of your hand to his lips, you can’t help but let out a tearful giggle. Deep down, you know he’s partially telling himself that.

You know Jim loves you, and he knows you love him too. But he has confided in you about his anxieties and fears before, that something would happen out of your control, that would take one of you away from the other, or that you might wind up falling apart the way his parents did. A dozen and a half different ways your relationship could go wrong.

But now, those fears seem to have washed away with the tide, and in their place was a newfound courage in himself as he holds your hand against his chest and leans in closer so his forehead touches your own.

“We’ll be alright.” Jim whispers, as certain of that as the sunrise, tears rolling down his cheeks as he leans in closer until pressing his lips against yours.

Jim isn’t sure what he could have done to deserve this, but dammit if he isn’t grateful for it. And now, all he wants it to be close to the light that is you, to feel the loving warmth of your soul in the simplest of gestures. And now, he has the faith in himself to do this right.

[nonranghaes]

jihoon whines softly as he shifts, warm cheek pressed against your arm. his fever broke hours ago, and yet he still seems too warm now. if it were junkyu, maybe you'd be a little upset at canceling your plans today to take care of him. but for the birthday boy? you just feel pity, and brush his hair back from his eyes again. he'd fallen in and out of sleep most of today until a few hours ago, and you didn't fight him when he begged for you to watch a movie with him.

"i'm sorry," his voice is soft, and he shuts his eyes as he snuggles against you. maybe he shouldn't get so close to you when he was probably still a little sick, but... neither of you seem to have an issue with it. "i ruined your day."

"hoony, its your day." you smooth his hair down, frowning for a moment. "i wasn't going to abandon you on your birthday."

yoshi and junkyu left the sharehouse hours ago. it's just the two of you, and neither of you seem to mind. jihoon just shuts his eyes again, snuggling in.

"still--"

"hold on, i made you something," you stop him before he can apologize again. you wiggle out of his grasp, and giggle a little when he reaches for you. "i'll be back in a minute, silly. you get whiny when you're sick, you know."

jihoon presses his lips together. once you're out of sight, he speaks up again, "there's actually something i want to tell you. i know this isn't good timing, but--"

and then you've returned with a cake you've clearly made yourself. the icing is messy, and the words are a little wonky, but his heart races all the same.

"happy birthday, jihoon," you say softly. "i hope this makes up for it."

he'll tell you tomorrow. tomorrow, he can kiss you properly if you'll let him. today... he'll just fight back the urge to cry and blame it on being sick.

[talkingsaxy]

PHOTOS YOU'VE TAKEN OF YOUR BOYFRIEND JIHOON

please don't repost, requests open!

[hakkkuu]

https://www.tumblr.com/hakkkuu/739355949959151616/riize-who

Can you do something like this but with treasure please?

TREASURE WHO

rating 18+

•HYUNSUK WHO… is smitten with your boobs! He loves how soft they are, small, medium or big, he will love them nonetheless! Hyunsuk will fondle with them, suck on them, toy with them, lick them and so on. Just please let him have your tits.

"Mm, don't you think that's enough?" you question, looking at hyunsuk who was fondling with your breasts. "Enough? Absolutely not" you frown at his response. "But- what about-" "that can wait, just wanna focus on my girl first"

•JIHOON WHO… wants to hold you in his arms as you two have sex, he wants to be close as possible, this is as they say, an intimate act.

"Fuck- y/n you feel so good. Come closer to me will you, yeah?" Jihoon mumbles, pulling you closer to his chest. Both your arms wrap around each other as he pounds into your poor, abused cunt.

•YOSHI WHO… trains you with a leash on, all dressed up just for him as he fucks you again and again.

"What's the safe word?" Yoshi asks, his finger tracing your spine, "green" you respond with a smile. Yoshi smiles back before giving a look back at his dick that was positioned in front of your entrance. "There we go" he whispers as his dick slips inside your pussy before tugging onto your leash.

•JUNKYU WHO… loves to see you all tied up as he teases you with his cock, torturing you as he slides it along your aching hole before finally giving you what you really want.

"Look at you, all dolled up for me..gorgeous, aren't you?" he says just barely above a whisper. You nod your head and whine. "Alright, alright, I'll give you what you want now" he chuckles before slipping his dick inside of your needy hole.

•JAEHYUK WHO… teases you with his dick sliding over your needy hole, grinning when he sees you whining and twitching at his touch. But, he is nice so he will give you a reward for being so patient.

"Jaehyuk, please..I want it" your hand gripping onto his sleeve as you tried to move your hips to "accidentally" make his dick slip inside. "Nuh-uh, just be patient and i'll give you what you want" even though you weren't patient you nodded anyways, "good girl."

•ASAHI WHO…hates being rough but whatever his girl wants, she gets. He fucks you harshly as he holds you down from moving.

"Come on y/n..stop squirming you- fine." he mutters before holding you down, his hand on your belly before switching to your arm, trying to subdue your squirming and movements. "Please sahi! I- i need it" you whine, lolling your head sideways, bucking your hips forwards in the hopes of getting more friction. "Then let me give it to you"

•DOYOUNG WHO… eats you out in his room while other members are away for dance practice, he called in sick just to eat his pretty princesses pussy. Loving your cute little moans as he burrows his head further and further in as if he wasn't already.

"Oh c'mon..let me just have a quick taste..so what if they burst inside?" he says with a pout, his head hovering just right above your glistening pussy. "So what? We could get in trouble" you whisper-yell. "Awh, well too bad im going to anyways" he states before burrowing his head down.

•HARUTO WHO… holds your hand as he pumps his fingers in and out of your pussy, he just wants to hold hands while doing something intimate with you

"Here, hold my hand pretty" he says in a sweet tone as if he wasn't fingering you harshly

•JEONGWOO WHO… passionately makes out with your clit before fingering you whilst licking and flicking your bud with his warm tongue.

"You like that don't you?" Jeongwoo mumbles as he stares up at you while fingering and licking your cunt. "Mhm! Yes i dooo" you drag the 'o's as he speeds up his fingering, jeongwoo only grinned as your juices flow down his chin.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 3 - Love Confession

@wolfstarmicrofic May 3, word count 670

Sirius loved everything about Remus. He loved the way his nose wrinkled when someone suggested something he didn’t want to do. He loved the way he bounced on the balls of his feet in excitement when Sirius bought him a new book, and he loved the dragon-like possessiveness Remus had about his chocolate supply. Sirius had bought him a small box that looked like a treasure chest as a joke one year, but it now held most of Moony’s chocolate supply. He wouldn’t tell Sirius where the rest was hidden. But the thing that Sirius especially loved about Remus was what he did when everyone else was asleep and the curtains around the bed were drawn and Remus would just—

“Oi, Padfoot, you up here?” James bellowed as he clambered up the stairs. James’s shouting pulled him away from his thoughts, cursing his best friend under his breath as the image of Remus towering above him was sucked from his mind's eye as he paid attention to James. “Ah, there you are, excellent. Wanna come down the quidditch pitch with me and shoot the quaffle around for a bit?” Sirius beamed at his best friend, his brother.

“Yeah, go on then. Is Moony in the common room?” James nodded.

“Yeah, he’s got that muggle book he’s reading and an enormous bar of chocolate.” James laughed. “Make it quick yeah, I want to get onto the pitch before it gets dark.” Sirius rolled his eyes. 

They’d never hidden their relationship. Sirius was far too loud to hide it for long away. Plus, he was proud to call Remus his boyfriend. James and Peter and the girls had been surprisingly alright with it. Not that he’d expected anything less from James. But they still didn’t rub everyone's noses in it. Remus would hate it if Sirius tried to copy some of the displays of affection other couples got up to in the common room. Even Sirius blushed at some of it. So they kept to holding hands and quick sweet kisses when they were around people. But alone, that was a different beast entirely. 

Sirius pulled on his quidditch gear and hurried down the stairs after James. 

He spotted Remus in the corner by the window. He’d pulled his favourite armchair from its usual spot and put it where he wanted it. He had his softest jumper on, the one Sirius loved to steal, and as James had said, was curled up in his chair, nose stuck in his book and only moving it away from his face to let in that enormous chocolate bar that he was taking giant bites of. The poor thing was littered with teeth marks. 

Sirius watched as the tip of Remus’s tongue darted out between his lips and licked up the small spot of melted chocolate from the corner of his mouth. That was when Sirius knew. Right at that moment. 

He stalked towards his lover and moved the book aside before hopping into his lap. He cradled Remus’s head in both of his hands and told him. 

“I love you,” in a soft husky voice. He’d never said it before, never let himself even think about it with anyone. He hadn't even thought he was capable of it. But Remus was different. That feeling swelled from his heart and coursed though his own body, changing him. He loved Remus and he always would. 

Before Remus could do anything, Sirius had closed the gap and pressed his lips to Remus’s greedily. He could taste the chocolate on Remus’s breath. But Remus didn’t kiss him back, instead he pushed him away. Sirius panicked. Shit what have I done? He probably doesn’t even feel the same way. Remus smiled at him. He leaned forward and stroked his thumb along Sirius’s jaw as he murmured his own confession into Sirius's ear. 

“I love you too,” Sirius’s heart soared. 

He never did make it to the quidditch pitch, but Remus certainly enjoyed peeling him out of those tight quidditch trousers.

[asahicore]

love calculator - pjh (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. best friend!jihoon x fem!reader

synopsis. You were sure that Jihoon only took care of you so well because your brother had tasked him with looking after you when you started university, so you tried not to read too much into his actions until you couldn't deny your increasing sensitivity around your best friend anymore. What you didn't know was Jihoon was going crazy, finding ways to make his feelings for you more obvious than they already were.

genre. f2l, brother's friend, slight childhood friends action, college au, slow burn?, fluff, smut (mutual first time, they do it raw, dirty talking, very soft dom!jihoon)

warnings. jihoon is a menace, jihoon has a hot bod, junkyu is mean to everyone, mc is a bit slow, side romance but i dont actually ship idols i have a life, omegle, ok theres no actual stuff to be warned about its all good in there

word count. 28.2k dont ask me why or how idk either

a/n. there she is... i spent SO much time on her pls love it lots or i'll cry.. it was sm fun writing for jihoon omg i hope u love hoonyn as much as i do !!! @zreamy my dear sweet little zo ty for betareading this and freaking out over jihoon u rock

1K follower trope event - requested by @mosviqu, tysm for requesting and i really hope u enjoy it !!!! - listen to the playlist!

Oddly enough, it was Jihoon’s biceps that first made you think something was wrong with you.

It was the fourth week of the spring semester, that odd in-between when you knew midterms were creeping up but were still far away enough to be ignored. This meant that you could party guilt-free.

The plan for tonight was to pregame at one of those huge uni dorms where ten students shared a kitchen then head to an overpriced club downtown that always had the best music on Friday nights. You didn’t have any classes on Fridays, so you’d headed to Jihoon’s place around four p.m. to get ready together. Usually, that was something you’d do with Minjeong, your roommate, but that weekend, she was away for an excursion with her Geography course. 

He was in the shower when you rang the doorbell, so his flatmate let you in, and you made yourself comfortable on his bed while waiting for him. You were so engrossed in the romance Webtoon you’d started that morning that at first, when he came in, you didn’t even look up from your phone. 

“Hey, Y/N,” he said casually, unfazed by your sudden appearance in his room. The soft smell of his body wash filled the room, and you noted with smugness that it was the one you had jokingly given him for Christmas after you’d gotten fed up with his strong, ever-present Axe scent. 

“Hey, Hoonie. You smell nice. For once.”

He chuckled. “It’s all thanks to you.”

“What would you do without me?” you said with a sigh, then looked up. You shouldn’t have. “Oh.”

The sight you were met with was unlike anything you’d ever seen in real life - Jihoon in all his post-shower half-naked glory, a simple white towel hanging low on his hips. Small beads of water fell from his hair and dripped down his chiseled chest and onto the plush carpet lining his bedroom.

You were pretty sure you’d seen at least five scenes like this in your romance comics.

“Oh?” he parroted.

You squinted your eyes at your friend before turning your attention back to your phone. “You’re naked.”

From the corner of your eye, you saw his grin widen. “I’m wearing a towel.”

“A towel isn’t clothes.” He turned around to rummage through his closet, and you took that opportunity to observe him more closely. This was the first time you saw your friend without a shirt, and you were trying your very hardest to not freak out, but it was a bit hard not to. Who would have known that under his baggy shirts and sweaters, Jihoon was hiding firm abs, broad shoulders, defined back muscles and protruding biceps?

His arms were what really got you, because you felt like you should have noticed them before. You’d already caught yourself staring a little bit too hard at the veins on his hands and forearms during a lecture before, so you could’ve conjectured that the upper part of his arms was well-defined as well. As mesmerizing as the shifting of his shoulder muscles was, what you really couldn’t look away from was the bump that formed his bicep. 

“Jihoon, have you always had… arms?”

You had barely even realized you’d said this out loud until Jihoon turned around, a confused look on his face. His lips drew into a smirk when he saw how fixed your gaze on his biceps was.

“No, they just grew recently. Thank you for noticing.”

“No, I mean… arms. Muscles.”

“Oh, these?” he said, flexing his arms and pecking his biceps in such a cheesy way that it snapped you out of your reverie and made you burst into laughter. “I started working on them last year so, yeah, they’ve been around a while.”

“Huh,” you said, then picked your phone up again and resumed your reading. “Well, you should work harder, ‘cause it’s the first time I noticed them.”

Jihoon scoffed. “Don’t act like you weren’t just drooling over my dream bod just seconds ago.”

You looked up, outraged. “I wasn’t drooling, I was observing. And don’t call it a dream bod, that’s gross.”

“My bod is a dream bod.”

“Stop it.”

“Can you look away from my dream bod for a sec? I need to put some pants on.”

“I’m already actively not looking. This dude is way hotter than you, by the way,” you said, waving your phone.

“Let me see him,” Jihoon said, heading towards you after successfully putting a shirt and sweatpants on. Gray sweatpants, you realized with a frown. He took your phone and looked back and forth between the character on the screen and you, an expression of disbelief on his face. “Y/N, this is a two-dimensional fictional character that exists in a fairyland. It hurts my feelings when you call him hotter than me.”

A lip grew on your lips. “Yes, but he has pointy ears and doesn’t refer to his body as a dream bod, so he’s a ten in my books.”

As you spoke, Jihoon lay down on his bed, stretching his arms behind his head and resting it on his palms, looking up at you with a grin. You didn’t know what to make of the sudden flip of your stomach.

“Will I be a ten in your books if I stop calling it a dream bod?”

You laughed. “Dream bod doesn’t even sound real anymore.”

“I don’t think it ever was, to be honest,” Jihoon replied, laughing along. “Or maybe they invented it for me.”

--

After that riveting discussion, you watched the show you’d been watching together (which, you had been surprised to find, Jihoon had the discipline to not watch ahead for), then finished getting ready. That night out hadn’t been particularly extraordinary. Pre-gaming had been fun and chaotic, but the line at the club had been so long that you’d all sobered up by the time you were inside and none of you felt compelled to pay for six dollar shots. At least the good music and nice DJ that took all of your requests made up for it.

The interesting bit happened on the bus ride back home.

By some miracle, Jihoon had run into some of his friendly course seniors that apparently liked him so much, they decided to pay for all of his drinks. Only an hour after getting into the club, he was nothing short of wasted. In your five months of being at university with him, you’d not once seen him in such a state - disheveled hair (from dancing too hard or from getting his hair ruffled like a cute dog by all of his seniors, you weren’t sure), deep red blush staining his cheeks, forehead, ears and neck, unfocused eyes and constant lopsided grin. When he almost tripped over his own feet during Gimme More by Britney Spears, you knew it was time to go home.

Jihoon was usually the one that had to deal with a drunk you, so you didn’t mind taking care of him this time. It was actually kind of fun, seeing this new side of the person who had become your closest friend in the past months. 

Luckily for you, a night bus ran directly from the downtown area you were in to the street you and Jihoon lived on, and you managed to lug him to the bus stop. Getting him onto the bus and into a seat was an arduous task, but you made it, and were enjoying a calm, uneventful ride home until you felt Jihoon’s head drop onto your shoulder. You thought he’d just fallen asleep, but then the unmistakable sound of his voice made itself known to your ears.

“Y/N, Y/N…” Jihoon murmured with a muffled voice, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You tried to ignore the prickly feeling down your spine when his lips moved against your skin.

“Yes, Hoonie?” you asked, a tilt of amusement to your voice. You really had never seen your friend so intoxicated.

He sighed, lifting his head from your shoulder and resting it against the window with a bang. He didn’t even wince at the impact of his head against the glass - the alcohol had apparently rid him of the sensation of pain.

“Don’t call me that,” he mumbled, voice so quiet you had to ask him to repeat himself. “I said don’t call me that!” 

You were taken aback by his sudden burst of irritation, but he sounded more like an upset child than anything.

“Call you what? Hoonie?”

“Yes.”

“Why? I’ve always called you that.” You tilted your head at him, but he kept his eyes fixed on the road outside.

“Exactly. You’re the only one who calls me that. Everyone else says Jihoon,” he said, annoyance clear in his voice. It sounded like this had been bothering him for a while, but it was complete news to you. “Can’t you even be bothered to say my full name, or something?”

You chuckled and brushed some hair out of his face. Like an angry cartoon character, he puffed air out of his nose and crossed his arms over his chest. His frown deepened and a blush spread over his face that was already red from the alcohol. “Should I call you Jihoon from now on?” you asked softly.

His reaction was immediate. He whipped around, almost knocking your head with his, a look of total alarm on his face. His eyes were almost teary. “No!” he exclaimed loudly, garnering glares from some of the other passengers in the bus who probably wanted some quiet this late at night. “No,” he repeated, this time more quietly, and turned back to the window.

In slight disbelief, you chuckled again. “What am I supposed to call you, then?”

“Just-” he started, but cut himself off with a sigh. “Just call me whatever.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “I’ll stick to Hoonie, then.” 

He groaned as he lifted his head from the window and let it fall back against your shoulder. The angle must’ve made it highly uncomfortable for his neck, but he didn’t seem to mind. He only stayed still for a few seconds before shifting slightly and burying his face in the dip between your shoulder and your neck once more, then let out a low hum of satisfaction. 

“You smell nice,” he mumbled. Your breath caught in your throat. He was too close, his lips were too soft and his breath was too warm against your skin. Your whole body felt hot, like the bus driver had suddenly cranked the heat up and turned the bus into a sauna. “Like almonds,” he added, pressing his nose deeper into the base of your neck and inhaling there.

You tried to laugh, hoping it would dissipate the tension in your body, but it only came out as a choked sound. “It’s my body lotion,” you explained, voice weaker than you’d intended.

“Hm.”

You didn’t know what it was about Jihoon’s proximity that made your head spin so - no one had ever made you feel this way, and the fact that your body was reacting so intensely to someone you had considered your best friend for the past months made it all the more confusing.

“Are you asleep?” you asked him in a small voice after he’d been silent for some minutes.

“Just sleepy,” he murmured, shifting in his seat again. You tried not to shiver at the tickling sensation of his hair against your neck.

A pause. “Jihoon?”

“Don’t call me that.” You smiled, but there was a slight whine to his voice that, for some reason, made your heart ache. 

You corrected yourself. “Hoon?”

“Mmh?”

“Why did it bother you that I call you Hoonie, all of a sudden?”

He took so long to answer that you almost thought he hadn’t heard you. “Because… every time you call me that, it makes me love you more,” he answered, voice getting gradually lower until it became a whisper.

Everything seemed to disappear around you. The other passengers, the seat underneath you, the blinking lights and the night sky outside the window. It was just you and Jihoon, his body warm next to yours and the only thing keeping you tethered to Earth.

“Makes you… love… me?” you echoed tentatively. 

But no answer came. When you bent your head down to look at Jihoon, it seemed like he had fallen completely asleep, mouth slightly agape and the blush of alcohol still red on his face. You didn’t know what to make of his words, but there was no point asking him about them now. So you let him sleep on your shoulder, only waking him once you were nearing his stop. 

--

Jihoon woke up the next morning with a pounding head and a bruised ego.

He had always prided himself in his ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol and yet only end up tipsy. Sure, it wasn’t exactly good for his body, but it meant that he never had to turn down a drink or watch on the sidelines as his friends did shots, and he could still get home just fine and not wake up with a head-splitting hangover the next day. Unlike you, who started giggling for no reason after one pint of beer and who tore it up on the dancefloor or talked to strangers like you’d been besties for years after two shots of tequila.

It only made his state of the previous night that much more embarrassing. He wished he had your amazing memory-erasing superpowers - but sadly, he didn’t, and what happened in the bus was glued to his brain. 

Before he could even lift his head or get a cup of water, his phone rang, the sound invading his ears and splitting his head in two. He slid a thumb across his phone to accept the video call and was greeted by a close-up of Junkyu’s smiling face.

“Rise and shine! I heard someone got their party on last night.”

Jihoon groaned loudly, chucking his phone somewhere on his bed so he didn’t have to see his friend’s face anymore. His was definitely not the face he wanted to see first thing in the morning. Unfortunately for Jihoon, Junkyu had been blessed with an extraordinarily loud voice that still rang clear even when the speakers of Jihoon’s phone were stifled by his blankets.

“Y/N sent me a video of you. You looked ridiculous, man.”

“I hate you. I hate your face, I hate the way you talk, I hate how mean you are to me-”

“I can’t hear you. What was that?”

With another groan and a lot of difficulty, Jihoon raised his upper body and retrieved his phone. “You suck.”

Junkyu’s smile widened. “Well, that’s all from me. Have a glass of water!” he said cheerily before hanging up. Jihoon had never wanted to kill someone so badly.

His murderous feelings softened when he turned his head to find a plastic bottle of water and a headache pill along with a handwritten note on his bedside table. Have this and text me when you wake up! with five hearts at the bottom. It wasn’t signed, but he knew it was from you.

When the two of you met up for brunch sometime later, he kept searching your face and reading into your actions for any sign that what he’d said last night had made you uncomfortable. He’d expected you to be awkward around him, but your attitude almost made him think he’d imagined the whole thing. You joked around with him as usual, as if he hadn’t practically confessed to you last night, and he was desperate to know what might be going through your mind.

Had you forgotten? Had you chalked it up to him being drunk and talking nonsense? Had he had just thought it very hard, and not actually said it out loud? Or, worst of all, had you heard it all and understood him and decided to just ignore it for the sake of your friendship?

Jihoon was going crazy. He could barely taste his chicken and waffles.

The truth was, you just had no idea what to make of his words, and you were scared bringing it up might make things awkward. Jihoon could have forgotten all about it, or he could have meant something entirely different from where your wild, romance-comic-filled imagination went. Save for his tired eyes and groggy voice, he was no different at breakfast than he usually was, so you dropped it.

--

“Okay, Y/N, I think it’s time for you to go home now.” 

Different Friday night, different party. A week had passed and neither of you had mentioned what Jihoon had said on the bus - it wasn’t quite out of your minds just yet, but you’d both separately decided to pretend nothing had happened.

This time, Jihoon had found you in the hallway playing beer pong and downing the cup of beer your opponent had thrown the ball into. Everybody cheered you on as you gulped the cheap liquid down before lifting the empty cup over your head, eyes screwed shut at the unpleasant bitterness in your mouth. Jihoon wasn’t sure why you were playing - you hated beer, and you had one of the worst throws he’d ever seen. But even he, who was supposed to look after you, couldn’t suppress a smile at your attempt and inevitable total fail at scoring a point for your team. Even with all the concentration in the world, the sheer amount of alcohol in your system would’ve made it impossible for you to make it.

Back against the wall and arms crossed over his chest, he watched amusedly as you squinted your eyes at the cups across the table from you, even sticking out your tongue as if that would make your aim any better. After a few tense seconds, you threw the ping-pong ball and hit Lee Jeno right in the chest. You’d giggled at your own failure, letting people pat you on the back for trying and reassure you that it’s okay (even though you really didn’t care) before stumbling right into Jihoon. 

As soon as you’d recognized your friend’s face, you’d thrown your arms around his neck and pulled him down into a hug as you yelled his name happily; his hands had come up to your hips and gently pushed your body away from his. Then, he’d said the words you always hated to hear at a party.

“But we just got here!” you cried, the same answer you always gave him when he wanted to leave. You started walking away from him and back into the kitchen for more alcohol. He sighed but was quick to follow you.

“We got here three hours ago. Plus we did pres at Yoshi’s place. You’ve had way more than enough to drink,” he said, snatching a cup you’d just filled with punch from your hands.

“I was gonna drink that!” you complained, leaning against the counter for support. 

Jihoon took in your swaying body and your dazed eyes and knew he had to get you home. Any more alcohol and you’d pass out in this stranger’s apartment. Usually, he’d let you drink to your heart’s content and just make sure you got home safe afterwards, but midterms were coming up, and you’d planned on studying the next day - he was just trying to minimize the severity of your hangover. 

You mustered your most pitiful expression - to drunk you, there was no way Jihoon could resist your pouty lips and sad eyes. “Do we really have to go?” you asked, and Jihoon had to read your lips because of the loud music. 

He smirked, seeing right through your little act. He bent his upper body so that his lips were right next to your ear. “You’ll thank me tomorrow,” he replied, making you drop your fake sad expression.

“I should go say bye to Minjeong and the others first.”

“I’ve already told them we were leaving.”

You rolled his eyes at him and his stupid smile and lifted yourself from the counter, immediately losing your balance. Maybe you had drunk too much. At least Jihoon was there to catch you and prevent you from falling. He tried to put his arm around your shoulder to support you but you stepped away from him and fixed him a pointed look.

“I can still walk, you know.”

Jihoon smiled but said nothing, gesturing at you to go on and walk. You turned around and started making your way out of the place, ignoring Jihoon’s snickers as you bumped into various party-goers and pieces of furniture.  

When you reached the front door, you decided that actually, no, you couldn’t walk. Sliding against the wall, you let yourself drop into a crouching position. Your head suddenly felt like it was twice its normal weight and you regretted those last few shots of whatever it was you had drunk.

Jihoon sighed as he lowered himself and grabbed you under your armpits to lift you up. He had never been more thankful for an elevator and a bus stop only a minute’s walk away from where you were. Standing under bright lights in a desert and quiet street, it appeared like an oasis to Jihoon. Whoever’s party this had been, they lived in a really calm part of town. At this time on a Friday night, Jihoon’s street would be teeming with drunk students deciding which bar or club they should head to next.

You had never been more thankful for a bus stop with seats. You plopped yourself down on one of them, resting your head on the glass behind you and tightening your jacket around your shoulders. You closed your eyes, deciding this was the perfect time for a nap. 

“Are you cold?” Jihoon asked, his voice keeping you from nodding off. You let out a non-committal hum in response which he wasn’t sure how to interpret. He chuckled and you heard a rustling sound before feeling an added weight on top of your body. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he murmured, then sat by your side.

Next thing you knew, Jihoon was making you stand again, and your feet moved of their own accord as he led you inside the bus. As soon as you were seated, you drifted back off to sleep. You jolted awake when your head drooped over, making you feel like you were falling. You sat up straight and looked around the empty bus, frantically asking Jihoon where you were.

“I’m taking you home,” he answered, laughter clear in his voice.

“Oh, okay,” you mumbled, and closed your eyes once more, falling back asleep in a matter of seconds. 

Jihoon watched with a tender smile as your mouth opened slightly and let soft snores escape it. Scooting closer to you, he placed his palm on your cheek and pulled your head towards his shoulder so it could rest there.

“Why do you drink so much if you can’t handle it?” he asked quietly, even though he knew you were already in dreamland.

--

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you felt like a kid who had fallen asleep in the car on the way home from a distant relative's wedding and mysteriously woken up in their bed. You stretched out your limbs, enjoying the softness and warmth of your sheets covering your body until a headache and pasty mouth hit you like a ton of bricks. It felt like the alcohol had made your brain shrivel inside of your skull - your whole body was screaming for water. 

Some kind of miracle had made a large glass of water appear on your bedside table, and you gulped it down in mere seconds. The hour on your phone read 10:24 a.m. - so much for getting up early and going to study at the library. 

You’d have rather stayed curled up under your blankets and slept the rest of your hangover off, but some rustling noises from the kitchen (and an intense need to pee) forced you out of the comfort of your bed. You stumbled into the kitchen to find Jihoon placing a pancake atop an already dangerously high stack. 

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” he greeted you, glancing at you with a smirk on his face as you made your way towards him. You stood behind him and rested your forehead at the base of his neck, as if catching a few last seconds of sleep. 

The feeling of your hair against his skin sent shivers down his spine and he hoped his shaky intake of breath had gone unnoticed by you. His pancake was ready and he had to put it on the plate behind him, but as if a cat had fallen asleep in his lap, he couldn’t get himself to move. This was a moment he wanted to cherish - although you never particularly kept your distance from him, he was still always greedy for more of your touch.

“Hey, Hoonie,” you replied in a groggy voice. “Thank you for breakfast,” you said, moving to rest your lower back against the counter next to the stove. He missed you immediately. “And sorry for being a nuisance last night.”

Jihoon smiled at you as he turned to place the pancake on the stack. Then he leaned in slightly and you made sure not to breathe through your mouth so he wouldn’t smell your morning breath. 

“You always apologize, and yet who’s dragging you home every single weekend?” he asked with an amused grin that let you know he wasn’t actually bothered by it.

He turned back to his pan and ladled more batter into it, forming a perfectly circular pancake. “Sorry,” you repeated guiltily.

He shook his head. “I’d rather be there and make sure you get home safe. And it’s not like I don’t have fun at those parties.” 

A small smile on your lips, you nodded and let his words assuage your guilt. “I’ll make coffee as a token of my gratitude.”

“How kind of you,” Jihoon teased, beaming. 

No matter how many times Jihoon reassured you, you still felt bad that he thought it his obligation to do those things for you.

Although you’d only grown closer at the beginning of your first year of university, now six months ago, you and Jihoon had known each other since you were thirteen, and he fourteen. You still remembered his braces, wide boba eyes and round cheeks from your teenage years - when you saw him again five years later, you couldn’t deny your surprise at his much… manlier appearance. Sharper jaw, broader shoulders, taller figure, deeper voice - it was hard to recognize the Jihoon you’d known and the Jihoon in front of you as the same person.

His parents’ job made their family move around a lot - your town had been their fifth home since Jihoon’s birth already. The year and a half they stayed went by far too quickly, and before you knew it, you already had to say goodbye. Jihoon and Junkyu had grown really close in that year, and since you were always in your older brother’s business at that time, you’d developed a liking for your brother’s best friend, too. You liked the way he’d ruffle your hair whenever he came over to your house, the way he remembered strawberry milk was your favorite, and the way he’d wave at you in the school hallways, effectively making you cooler than all of your friends for knowing someone who was in the year above. At the time, you hadn’t known if what you felt for him could be described as a crush - all you knew was that for the rest of high school, you missed him. 

When you found out that he had not only come back to South Korea to study, but that he was attending the university of your dreams, you couldn't have been more excited. But you chalked it up to the relief of knowing someone in an otherwise unfamiliar place.

Jihoon had been even more welcoming than you’d expected. He had come to get you at the airport with a big, colorful Welcome Y/N banner, helped you move into your dorm and treated you to a meal the night you arrived in town. Over the following weeks, he’d introduced you to his friends, showed you around campus, and kept inviting you out “so you would know where the good spots were.”

Thanks to him, settling in had been a much less stressful and emotionally exhausting process than you’d expected. But no matter how grateful you were, you couldn’t help but wonder why he was going to these lengths to welcome you. 

Somewhere in the town center, there was a square that was extremely popular among skaters for a reason beyond your understanding. But at almost any time of the day and night, you could find people practicing their skating there. You’d just left a bar nearby with Minjeong, Jihoon and his friends, and to an intoxicated you, skating, something you had never attempted before, seemed like the thing to try out right then and there. You ran up to the first skater you found and asked him if he could show you how to ride.

Minjeong had run after you, finding a skater of her own while Jihoon’s friends either watched or talked about something else amongst themselves. Of course, the inevitable happened, and as soon as the skater let you try skating on your own, you’d fallen on your hands and knees. In a flash, Jihoon had been by your side, frantically asking if you were okay and making you show him your palms. They were only grazed, and one of your knees was bleeding very faintly, but Jihoon acted like you’d just broken something. He got you to get on his back so he could carry you to the nearest pharmacy, leaving his friends and Minjeong to wonder what the hell was going on. You tried telling him you were okay and could walk on your own just fine, but he wouldn’t listen. 

He’d sat you on the curb in front of the all-night pharmacy and asked you to wait as he got disinfectant and bandages. You watched his face closely as he rubbed medical alcohol on your wounds. A crease had plagued his eyebrows ever since you fell, and he would not stop mumbling something about you needing to be more careful and you’re lucky you didn’t get hurt badly.

You hadn’t realized you were crying until one of your tears fell on Jihoon’s hand, hot against his skin, and he looked up at you with worry, any of his previous frustration with you wiped from his expression.

“Y/N? Why are you crying?” he’d asked, voice soft, as if trying not to scare you.

You sniffled. “Why are you so nice to me?”

His eyes softened and a small smile grew on his lips. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to mirror his smile, and the more you cried, the sadder you felt. Inexplicably, your tears just fell and fell and fell. Under the bright white lights of the pharmacy, in the cold of a particularly chilly September night, Jihoon wrapped an arm around you and let you cry on his shoulder. He didn’t ask any further questions, just waited for you to calm down as he rubbed a hand up and down your back and whispered in your ear that it was okay.

When you thought back on it now, you knew that it had just been the alcohol making you unreasonably emotional - you weren’t actually sad about Jihoon looking after you, if anything, it made you happy. But once you’d started crying, you couldn’t stop.

“I’m just looking out for you,” he’d said once your sniffling had somewhat lessened. You’d leaned back to look at him. 

“But why?” you’d whined.

Your frown had deepened as his smile had widened. “Because we’re friends.”

“Is that it?” 

“Well, Junkyu also asked me to look after you,” he admitted sheepishly. 

You gasped in affront. “He what?!”

“Y/N-”

“So he’s been forcing you to do all of this?” you asked, voice breaking at the end. Your anger had lasted two seconds - you’d gone back to being sad at the thought of Jihoon only being nice to you because your stupid big brother had asked him to.

“No, no, it’s not like that, listen to me-”

“I can’t believe the two of you! I’m not a child-”

“Nobody said you were-”

“So you don’t actually even care-”

“I do!” Jihoon had exclaimed, louder than you’d expected, and it shut you up. “I do,” he repeated, voice softer. His hands were still on your upper arms, and he leaned in closer. “You’re his little sister. Of course he was worried about you leaving home. He just asked me to make sure you don’t get into too much trouble,” he explained, lightly tapping the tip of your nose with his finger. 

He sighed, smiling as he watched you try to keep an upset expression on your face. He took the bandages out of the pack he’d just bought and stuck them with caution on your wounds. “But I wouldn’t be doing all of this if I didn’t care, Y/N.” When your eyes met again, you hadn’t known what to make of the look in his. “I missed you, you know.”

Just like that, the ducts behind your eyes filled up again, and large, hot tears streamed down your face as you rested your forehead against Jihoon’s shoulders again. He chuckled at your dramatics but placed a reassuring hand against your hair. “I missed you, too,” you replied between broken sobs.

He’d texted his friends to take Minjeong with them and go on without the two of you, then carried you back to his apartment, which was thankfully only a five-minute walk away. 

Ever since that night, you and Jihoon had been inseparable. He continued checking on you consistently, bringing you food and coffee without you even asking and, of course, getting you home safe from nights out. 

You were thankful to have a friend like him.

“Pancakes?!” your flatmate exclaimed as soon as she walked through the door, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, Minjeong,” you and Jihoon greeted in unison. 

She was wearing her clothes from last night and her hair was a mess, but she had a bright expression on her face (despite the faint mascara stains underneath her eyes). You narrowed your eyes at her but she made a beeline for the food, completely ignoring you.

“Hot,” she mumbled as she held a pancake between her fingers, but threw a piece in her mouth anyway. “You’re so lucky to have a boyfriend like him, Y/N,” she said around her food.

“Isn’t she?” Jihoon replied before you could say anything.

You rolled your eyes at the pair in front of you and poured a cup of coffee for Minjeong. She referred to Jihoon as your boyfriend so often that you didn’t bother to correct her anymore. “Not my boyfriend. And even so, he’s more like a bodyguard than anything.”

“Being a bodyguard is just one of the many duties of being a boyfriend,” Minjeong declared, easily ignoring you. “Don’t you agree, Jihoon?”

He nodded, a serious look on his face. “Absolutely. I take what I do very seriously.” When his eyes found yours, he shot you a wink. Your frown deepened. 

“Anyway, care to share why you’re coming home so late?”

A blush creeped on Minjeong’s cheeks. “Well, Yoshi’s place is quite a ways from here…” she murmured, looking down at her half-eaten pancake. 

“Called it!” you yelled, just as Jihoon let out a loud “no” of shock and defeat.

“Next takeaway is on you,” you told Jihoon with a proud smile. In a mature response, he stuck his tongue out at you.

Minjeong frowned at both of you. “You guys bet on this?” she asked, vexed. Jihoon exchanged a look, glanced back at her, and shrugged. “Not cool. I didn’t even know something would happen with him. How did you guess?”

You smiled. “You always go for the cute ones.”

She hummed in agreement, her expression almost a pained one. “He’s just the cutest little thing ever, I couldn’t help myself.” She took a sip of her coffee, cringing at the bitter taste before getting up to fetch sugar and milk.

You sighed at your friend. “You’re gonna break that poor boy’s heart.” You knew Minjeong wasn’t to blame for the boys that got attached to her when she made it clear she wasn’t looking for a relationship - but if it happened to Yoshi, you’d feel guilty. You’d met him in a tutorial for one of your Digital Media courses and he seemed like he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’d invited you to do pres at his place, and you’d dragged Minjeong and Jihoon along, so they’d met through you. In a way, if Yoshi fell for Minjeong and got hurt, it’d be your fault.

“I told him I didn’t want anything serious,” she said, pouring as much milk as there was coffee in her mug.

“He doesn’t seem like the type to do casual stuff,” Jihoon chimed in as he placed the last pancake on top of the stack. But it was one pancake too many, and the whole stack fell over. Jihoon wasn’t rattled - he placed a few on his plate then rebuilt the stack.

Minjeong ate her last bite of pancake and got up from the stool. “Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“We? This is your problem, babe,” you said.

Minjeong smiled at you, eyes crinkling as she pressed a wet kiss to your cheek. You were sure there was some pancake left on her lips. “You’re such a good friend, Y/N,” she said, making you laugh. Of course you’d help Minjeong if she needed - but you were starting to feel bad for all the hearts she kept breaking. “I’m going back to bed,” she announced. Then, she put her hand next to her mouth as if telling you a secret, but spoke loud enough for Jihoon to hear anyway: “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, is all I’ll say.”

Jihoon choked on his food and you let out a groan of disgust, but you both burst into laughter anyway. “I want details later!” you called out.

“You won’t be disappointed,” she said between giggles as she closed her bedroom door behind her. 

Just then, your phone buzzed with an incoming video call, Junkyu’s face taking up your screen. “Hey, ugly face,” you greeted, propping your phone up against the milk bottle.

“Hey, stink.”

“Hey, Kyu!” Jihoon called out and took a seat close next to you - you knew he was just trying to squeeze into frame, but the sudden proximity still made your breath catch in your throat for a second.

Your brother’s eyes narrowed. “What are the two of you doing together on a Sunday morning?”

You looked at Jihoon, then back at your screen. “Is there something wrong with Sunday mornings?”

“Not inherently, no…” your brother conceded. “But still.”

You rolled your eyes at him and his meaningless suspiciousness. “We just went to a party together last night and he crashed here afterwards.”

“She was so wasted I had to bring her home. And I made pancakes this morning.”

“Y/N, if you don’t marry this guy, I will,” Junkyu said with all the seriousness in the world, and Jihoon made a kissy face at him.

“What’s up with everyone today?” you sighed. “I’m going to shower. You two have fun.” You knew your brother probably didn’t have much to tell you anyway - he liked calling you for no other reason than to bother you. 

“Oh, we will,” Jihoon said with a suggestive tone, and you made a vomiting noise before disappearing into the bathroom. 

“When I told you to look after her, I just meant to make sure she doesn’t drink too much or get involved with weirdos. I didn’t mean to make her pancakes on Sunday mornings,” Junkyu teased, a knowing smile on his face. 

Jihoon looked down at his place, a small smile growing on his lips as well. “I know, but I like doing those things for her.”

Junkyu let out an odd noise, half out of disgust and half out of annoyance. “I can’t believe you. Just ask her out, already.”

“So you don’t like me at her place on a Sunday morning, but you want me to ask her out?”

Junkyu rolled his eyes (Jihoon thought this was a family trait, at this point). “I’m trying to help you out here, buddy. I know she’s my little sister, but you’re also my best friend,” he started, ignoring Jihoon’s aww, “and I don’t know how much longer I can stand you being in love with her but not making a move.” He paused to sigh. “I know you’re a good guy, so you have my approval, or whatever.”

Jihoon smiled somewhat sadly, picking at his food with his fork. “I appreciate it, Kyu, but I really don’t think she feels the same way.”

“How do you know that? Have you asked her?” Junkyu asked, not even trying to hide his impatience.

“No, but-”

“Do I need to do it for you? Do you want to hide behind my back while I tell my little sister, hey, my friend here has something he wants to tell you? Hey, my friend thinks you’re pretty, do you want to talk to him? Are you a big baby who can’t do anything, Park Jihoon?”

“No, I just-”

“You know, if this were a k-drama and you were the main lead, everybody would get Second Lead Syndrome. Me included. You suck.”

“Supportive as ever, Kyu,” Jihoon said, sighing.

“If you don’t ask her, you’re a bitch. I’m hanging up now,” Junkyu said before Jihoon could get another word in. He just shook his head, chuckling as he dug into his pancakes again.

The two of them had had this conversation about a thousand times, and they always came to the same conclusion: Junkyu thought Jihoon should confess his feelings to you, and Jihoon dismissed the idea, knowing he’d never have the guts to do it. To him, making jokes about being your boyfriend and relentlessly flirting with you was sign enough of his affection for you - you just needed to figure out that he wasn’t actually kidding at all. He was already doing half of the work for you, really. 

An hour later, the two of you were sitting on the fifth floor of the library, where nobody ever dared to venture because of its dark corners and maze-like rows of bookshelves. It creeped Jihoon out, but it was your favorite place to study, so on days he couldn’t convince you to go to a nicer spot, he sucked it up and followed you to the table you liked by a window that overlooked the park next to the campus. The window let some light in, but to get there, you had to go through dim hallways that looked like they hadn’t seen a human soul in years. Jihoon didn’t know how you’d found out about it in the first place. It felt like something a fourth-year would keep as a secret, not something a first-year would have discovered in her first months of attending uni.

As he observed your sleeping figure, Jihoon couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed. You’d gotten about twenty minutes of work done before resting your head atop your crossed arms, claiming you would just take a “power nap.” He couldn’t believe you’d emotionally manipulated him (pouted up at him and gave him puppy eyes - with that look on your face, Jihoon would agree to murdering someone for you) into going to this creepy part of the library only to sleep almost immediately after getting there. 

He bent down onto his arms, mirroring your position, and let himself have this moment. Even though he saw you all the time, it wasn’t often that he could shamelessly stare at you and get away with it.

He watched as your shoulders rose and fell to the consistent rhythm of your breathing, as the sunlight pouring in from the window made your eyelashes cast shadows against your cheeks. You looked so peaceful that any trace of his irritation towards you vanished. It wasn’t like he could ever really be mad at you.

Jihoon loved how little you had changed in the years you’d been apart. Of course, you’d grown into your features and didn’t quite look like the thirteen-year-old version of you he’d known, but still, you had the same face and same habits he’d fallen in love with in the first place. 

He still remembered the way his heart had swelled when he’d found your face amongst the crowd at the airport, how his whole body had buzzed with excitement at the idea of finally seeing you again after all these years. When you’d received your admission email from your university, the first thing Junkyu had told Jihoon was that he’d better look after you. It wasn’t like he didn’t think you couldn’t handle yourself, but it reassured him, knowing someone he trusted so much would be there to help you adjust to university life, since he couldn’t do it himself. 

Jihoon had taken this seriously. Junkyu hadn’t given him any sort of instructions - the picking you up at the airport, introducing you to his friends, making sure you were well-fed and well-caffeinated, that was all him. At first, he tried convincing himself that he was doing this in an old friend, big brother fashion - he knew how close you and Junkyu were, so he fancied himself a sort of Junkyu 2.0 for you to rely on. 

It had been when he saw your red, puffy eyes, trembling lips and tear-stained cheeks that he realized his old feelings had resurfaced. After all, don’t they say you never really forget your first love?

Truth be told, that whole night had been a dead giveaway. From the moment you met up at the bar to his little nurse moment in front of the pharmacy, his heart had not stopped racing. He kept checking on you, making sure you were having fun and handling your alcohol, and stuck by your side the whole time, like a bee to a flower. 

He remembered standing arms crossed over his chest and observing you with narrowed eyes as you tried out skating. He was telling himself he was just watching in case you got hurt, but he couldn’t ignore the way his stomach twisted with a hot, unpleasant emotion as the skater guided you, hands on your waist. He didn’t like that you held that stranger by his shoulders, relying on him and not Jihoon for support, or that you laughed together like you’d been friends for years. Jihoon was your long-time friend, not this random long-haired, baggy-shirted, vans-wearing loser skater that probably had a name like Mark or something.

When you’d fallen from that skateboard, his heart had dropped in his stomach. He’d been sick with worry that you’d gotten badly hurt, and even upon seeing your barely-grazed palms and knees, he hadn’t been reassured. 

Seeing you cry had made him panic like crazy. He tried his best to comfort you, but had no idea whether he was doing a good job. For days after that night, he’d replayed the conversation the two of you had under the lights of the pharmacy. 

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m just looking out for you.”

“But why?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“Is that it?” 

Jihoon hadn’t known whether you meant, is that the only reason, or, are we only friends? But he’d thought the second question was wishful thinking on his part. So he told you about the promise he’d made to Junkyu, and that had somehow made you even more upset. Even though he hadn’t said it outright, he’d thought he had made it clear that he wasn’t only doing this because Junkyu had told him to - he also wanted to be there for you. He did care, more than he wanted to admit. 

Over time, his feelings for you had grown far bigger than simple teenage nostalgia - he loved your present self impossibly more than fourteen-year-old Jihoon had loved thirteen-year-old you. He thought he made it obvious - he always made sure to compliment you, remembered your coffee order and favorite dishes from your favorite restaurants, rushed to your side whenever you needed him, and did everything he could think of to support you. Sure, he relentlessly teased you as well, but that was just Jihoon.

If you noticed him, you didn’t show it. He wasn’t sure whether you genuinely didn’t know he wanted you as more than a friend or were playing dumb, but he knew you saw him as something like a second older brother. But Jihoon had come to terms with that - he’d rather be in your life as a friend than not at all.

This was why he was grateful for moments like these, when he could just look at you without you knowing. 

After five minutes, Jihoon quietly got up and bravely made his way through the dark hallways and back outside to get you a drink - in case you woke up grumpy from your nap, he knew a matcha latte would appease you. He almost got lost on his way back, but when he found your table again, you were still sleeping. He couldn’t help himself - before rousing you, he snapped a quick picture of your sleeping face, making sure to get the drool pooling at the corner of your lips in frame. The photo went into his Y/N folder, full of pictures and videos he’d both secretly and not-so-secretly taken of you, which, no, wasn’t creepy at all, thank you very much.

When he pressed one drink to your cheek and the other to your forehead, you woke up with a gasp, then immediately winced at the pain in the side of your neck from the uncomfortable sleeping position.

“I wasn’t sure whether you’d want a hot one or an iced one, so I just got both.”

“Ooh, iced, please,” you said. “Thanks, Hoonie.” But before you could grab the drink, he snatched it away.

“No drinking until you get at least one thing done,” he said, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

You frowned. “But the ice will melt and it’ll taste all watery.”

Jihoon didn’t want to give in so easily. 

“Hm?” you hummed, tilting your head at him.

Jihoon gave in, handing you your drink with a tut. Seeing your excited grin and hearing your sigh of contentment after taking a sip made it worth it. 

About two (surprisingly productive) hours later, your stomach started demanding nourishment, and who were you to deny it? Your hangover was strong that day, and even the pancakes and coffee hadn’t completely rid your mouth of its sour taste. You needed something salty and greasy, so you pitched going to the fried chicken place a few blocks down to Jihoon, who agreed immediately.

On the way there, you tried to recollect some moments from the party yesterday, but quickly realized that not much was coming to mind. Pre-drinks at Yoshi’s were clear in your head, and so was walking to the other party - but the better part of your memories after that were fuzzy or non-existent. 

“Hoonie?” you suddenly asked.

“Hm?”

“Did I do anything embarrassing last night?”

Jihoon chuckled. “Not more than usual.”

You groaned and pushed his shoulder, making him laugh even more. “I mean, you just kinda danced like crazy and talked to absolutely anyone. At some point you were gone for like twenty-five minutes, and I found you in the bathroom taking selfies with girls I’d never seen before in my life.”

You pulled out your phone and checked your gallery - indeed, there were about fifty pictures of you and some random girls. “Who are they?” you asked, more to yourself than to Jihoon, in disbelief at how comfortable last-night-you looked with these strangers. “They seem nice enough, I guess.” You laughed with Jihoon before sighing. “Well, that’s not too bad. I’ve done worse things.”

Jihoon made a face as if to say, Yeah, I know, and you rolled your eyes at him. You returned your gaze to the path in front of you, but if you’d kept on looking at Jihoon, you’d have noticed the smirk growing on his lips as a joke formed in his head. After some time, with a shit-eating grin on his face, he broke the silence. “Oh, well, there was also that moment when you confessed your undying love for me, tears streaming down your face, begging on your knees, all the works. That was pretty embarrassing. But I get it.”

It was so ridiculous that you couldn’t help yourself from laughing as you slapped his shoulder. “You wish,” you said between giggles.

I do wish, he immediately thought, but kept it to himself. He laughed instead and could only hope his real thoughts weren’t so obvious. 

--

Two things happened in the fried chicken shop restaurant.

Well, three, if you counted their promotion on their chicken rice cake coleslaw menu, which was your favorite and which Jihoon always chided you for ordering (“Anyone who likes coleslaw is not human”), but in the grand scheme of things, that wasn’t so important.

First, your mom called. Now, this wasn’t anything huge in itself, but it was Jihoon’s behavior that got to you.

You had gotten maybe five words before he snatched the phone from you and lifted it to his ear. “Hi, Mrs Kim!”

You heard a faint but enthusiastic “Hi, Jihoon!” on the other side of the line. They made small talk for a bit, and you couldn’t believe your mom could have forgotten about her only daughter so quickly. You’d dived back into your fried chicken, pretending you didn’t care about whatever it was they were talking so energetically about, until you heard your name on the other end.

Your and Jihoon’s eyes met. A mischievous smile spread across his lips and your gaze hardened. “Yes, well, you know her, she’s a bit of a nuisance, but I’m keeping her out of trouble and all that. I saved her from joining a cult the other day,” he said, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Oh dear!” you heard your mother exclaim.

“You didn’t save me from anything, I knew what that woman was up to.”

You’d been waiting for Jihoon outside of the movie theater when an older woman approached you. She seemed friendly enough, and you thought she was just a lonely grandma in need of a nice discussion - which it was at first, until it veered towards religion. Next thing you knew, she was telling you stories about the upcoming end of the world and how we had to beg for salvation. You didn’t believe any of it, but you found it captivating, so you stood there listening to her and egging her on until Jihoon showed up and forced you out of there. You thought it’d have been funny if he’d listened along, but knowing Jihoon, a small part of him might have actually believed her and started freaking out.

“I didn’t know you and my mom were so chummy,” you said when the phone call was over. She hadn’t even asked to talk to you again.

“Your mom’s awesome. I can’t believe such a lovely woman gave birth to two gremlins like you and Junkyu. Are you sure you’re not adopted?”

It had seemed like nothing at the time, but when you played the scene over again in your mind that night as you lay in bed, the fact that Jihoon got along with your family filled your heart with an unexpected warmth. It was almost like he was part of the family himself - not in a third child way, but more in a if you brought him home to your family, he’d fit right in, a thought that had made you panic as soon as it’d appeared in your mind. Because why were you thinking of bringing Jihoon home? Why did it make you so happy, knowing he’d be welcomed with open arms?

You shook your head against your pillow, hoping it’d make those thoughts vanish. You reassured yourself by telling yourself that you’d be just as happy bringing a friend like Minjeong home, and that you were sure she’d get along just fine with your brothers and parents. 

The other sign had been much more straightforward. You weren’t afraid to eat messily in front of Jihoon, so some honey barbecue sauce had spread over the corner of your lips as you wolfed down one of the wings. As soon as Jihoon started to lean in across the table, you knew you were in trouble.

Not only did he wipe the sauce off your lips with his thumb, but he licked it off of his finger, never breaking eye contact throughout the whole ordeal. Your whole body tensed and you swear you stopped breathing for a second. 

It only really lasted maybe five seconds, but felt like hours to you. You glared at him for a bit before diving back into your chicken, hoping you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. But Jihoon and his stupid, proud smirk probably knew what he’d done to you. As if that wasn’t enough already, he even had the audacity to whisper cute under his breath. Your eyes snapped back up to his face, but he just smiled and nodded towards your food, telling you to keep eating. 

Over the next week, the word cute refused to leave your mind. You kept replaying that scene over and over - the feeling of Jihoon’s thumb on your lips, the sight of his own lips around his thumb, his gaze through it all. It wasn’t the first time such thoughts of Jihoon plagued you - once, he’d guided you through a crowded club with a hand on your lower back and the way the warmth of his hand against you had made you feel prompted you to ignore him for the rest of the night. Another time, he’d kissed you on the forehead after dropping you off at your apartment and you hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes for the following week. 

You took the small but meaningful events of that day as your second sign of your new odd feelings directed towards your best friend, feelings that you didn’t know how to name just yet.

--

Crazy rich Yoon Jaehyuk was having a pool party at his house, and basically everyone was invited. If you knew about the party, you could go - all Jaehyuk had to do was to tell maybe ten people and let them spread the word. As his partner for an English Linguistics class you had together that semester, you were one of those privileged people who’d known firsthand about the event and had made sure to tell everyone you knew to come. You shouldn’t have been so surprised to find what must’ve already been a hundred people on the front lawn, inside the house and around the pool when you showed up with Jihoon and the rest of your friends there.

Coincidentally, this was when the third sign occurred. Third time’s a charm, as they say, and the events of that night and those following cemented your growing hunch that something really was up.

Pre-drinks at yours and Minjeong’s place had already taken quite a toll on you. Jaehyuk lived at the edge of town, quite a ways from your flat, but the vodka cranberry you’d snuck in on the bus prevented you from sobering up during the long ride. When your group arrived at the party, both you and Minjeong were ready to dance. But before you could rush to wherever the dancefloor was, Jihoon caught you by the wrist, effectively stopping you in your tracks. Your eyes went from his fingers around your wrist to his smiling face, a surprised look on your own. 

“We’re gonna head directly to the pool. Don’t drink too much, okay?”

Your lips blossomed with a smile. Typical Jihoon. “Okay.”

The alcohol probably had something to do with it, but a surge of affection for your friend hit you and you stood on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek before taking Minjeong’s hand in yours and making a beeline in the direction of the music.

I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas was calling your name and you didn’t think to turn around to look at Jihoon, so you missed the way he watched your figure retreating into the mass of drunk students as he tried to commit the warmth of your lips against his cheek to memory.

You and Minjeong made your way to the center of the crowd, shrieking with drunken excitement when you found a group of girls from one of your shared classes there and exchanging very brief pleasantries before falling into the rhythm of one of your all-time favorite party songs. In your humble opinion, no one understood partying like The Black Eyed Peas did.

You only leave the dancefloor on one occasion, which is to take a round of vodka shots with your new best friends for the night - Jihoon had said not to drink too much, not not at all. One of the girls (Yunjin, you thought, but she showed up to class so seldom you weren’t sure) had a trick of pouring a lick of strawberry syrup before the alcohol, so that you wouldn’t be hit with the nail polish remover aftertaste of vodka. You were delighted to find it worked (almost) like magic.

It’s about an hour later when you and Minjeong reach the pool, not quite sober but more so than when you’d arrived at the party. For a pool party, there were definitely less people there than inside the house, maybe due to the fact that it was the end of February and most people didn’t want to risk getting hypothermia from the temperature difference between the heated pool and the cold outside. 

The relatively small number of people makes it easy to spot Jihoon, in nothing but his swimming trunks and a towel around his shoulders, sitting on a longchair a dozen or so meters away from you. Something about half-naked Jihoon, you’re not sure what, makes you want to walk over to him and do… you’re not sure what, but Minjeong frantically slapping your arm and whispering your name stops you from doing whatever it was you wanted to do. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Yoshi is right there,” she whisper-yelled. Indeed, Yoshi was in the pool, not far from where you stood, playing with his friends you recognized from pre-drinks at his place the other day. Minjeong’s face was redder than you’d ever seen it, and you recalled a conversation you’d had earlier that day.

“Will Yoshi be there?” Minjeong had asked, trying to sound innocent.

You’d looked at your flatmate with an incredulous look on your face. “Yes, he’ll be there, you slut. I thought you never went for a second time?”

She’d shrugged, an unusually shy smile playing on her lips as she looked down at her feet. “I don’t know, we’ll see.”

This was very unlike Minjeong - in your six months of knowing each other, it was the first time you ever saw her even consider getting with someone a second time. You didn’t know what sort of spell this Yoshi guy had cast on your friend, but it must’ve been very effective. 

“Go talk to him,” you simply said.

“What?! No way, I can’t- Oh my God, he’s looking at us,” she said, words rushing out of her mouth, “he’s looking right at us, isn’t he?”

You just laughed at your friend and waved at Yoshi who was already waddling towards your edge of the pool. “Hey, Yoshi!” you called excitedly. At the sound of your voice, Jihoon’s head snapped towards you. He wasted no time in yelling your name, motioning for you to come over, so you gestured back that you’d be there in a minute. 

“Hey, Y/N!” Yoshi called back with the same tone. “Hey, Minjeong,” he added, tone somewhat quiet, but the blush that grew on his cheeks told you you weren’t the one he was most happy to see. 

“Hey, Yoshi,” she said so quietly, you weren’t sure the boy could even hear her.

“Nice to see you guys here,” he said, talking to you but glancing nervously at Minjeong. 

“You too!” you replied, and before he could add anything, you placed a hand on your friend’s shoulder. “Well, I’m sure the two of you have a lot to talk about. See you later!”

You grinned innocently at Minjeong as she called your name, eyes wide in panic. She was a big girl, and Yoshi was clearly into her - she could handle herself. Jihoon eyed you amusedly as you made your way towards him.

“Are you setting them up?” he asked when you were within earshot of him.

“I’d be a bad friend if I didn’t at least try. I’ve never seen Minjeong blush over a guy, so this must be serious.”

A few of Jihoon’s friends were hanging out next to him, people that you knew from the many parties you attended together but that you rarely saw outside of drinking contexts. You waved at them before sitting on the deckchair next to Jihoon’s. He pivoted in his seat to face you, seemingly not minding that he’d just turned his back to his friends, then scooched his chair closer to yours so that your knees touched. You rested your palms next to your thighs and kept your gaze down. Something about Jihoon kept you from meeting his eyes, tonight. Maybe it was the half-nakedness.

Jihoon eyed you for a little bit, wondering what was making you so unusually quiet, before looking behind his shoulder to check whether Minjeong had been able to make progress on her own.

“Looks like it’s going well,” he assessed.

You followed his gaze to find Minjeong sitting at the edge of the pool and kicking her legs in the water while Yoshi stood next to her, water up to his belly button. You smiled as they giggled and splashed each other - it was going well, indeed. 

“Have you been in the pool yet?” you asked, shifting your gaze to the party-goers playing in the water. The echoes of people talking and water splashing were quite loud, but Jihoon was so close that you didn’t need to raise your voice too much. 

“No, I just took my shirt off for the hell of it.” 

You had meant to bring your eyes up to his face, you really had - but somewhere on the way, they stopped on his abs, and got stuck there. It was probably a full five seconds before you could look away from the well-defined muscles on his stomach and finally meet his eyes. He didn’t need to say anything - the smirk playing on his lips and the slight surprise in the raise of his brows were enough to tell you he had not missed your stare. 

You looked back to the pool, eyebrows slightly creased in shame at having been so obvious. Thankfully, you had brought a drink with you and took a swig of it there. “I wouldn’t put it past you.”

You were trying to ignore the way Jihoon’s eyes burned into the side of your face, the way they followed your every move, but with each passing second, you felt more conscious of them. Not unlike one would try to escape a wasp, you thought that going into the pool might tear Jihoon’s eyes away from you at least for a little bit. It’s not that his gaze made you uncomfortable, like that of a random old man in the street would, but it definitely made you feel… things. Things that you didn’t necessarily want to dive into. 

The problem was that, to go into the pool, you’d need to get into your swimsuit. You’d thought ahead and had come already clad into your bikini underneath your clothes, a black, strapless tube dress that was easy to take off so you could jump into the pool at any time. But getting rid of that dress right in front of Jihoon and his watchful eyes was more nerve-wracking than you’d imagined. 

You downed the rest of your cup for some liquid courage and shot up from your seat, releasing a deep breath as you did so. You thought it was better to just get it over with than make it last any longer than it needed to. Jihoon’s eyes glinted with amusement as they followed your every move.

“Let’s go back in.” 

Your plan had been to lift your dress off of your body and head straight to the pool, but Jihoon’s gaze made you freeze in place after stripping. You couldn’t quite describe it as lustful, or as hungry, because there was a hint of surprise there that softened it. It was like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing and loving it at the same time, if the slowly growing smirk on his lips was anything to go by. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, a fire that made your knees turn to jelly and that rendered you close to breathless.

You let his curious eyes travel your body for a few seconds before clearing your throat. “Do you want a picture or something?” you asked ironically, hoping your voice didn’t sound as shaky as you felt.

His smirk only widened. “No need. The real thing is so much better.”

You tried not to cower under his shameless gaze, instead stood up straighter and stared right back at him. “My eyes are up here, you know.”

“I know,” he replied, but his eyes stayed trained on your body. You watched as they slowly made their way up your legs, took in your stomach and waist, then paused on your chest, which was quickly falling and rising with your shallow breathing. It was only when you scoffed and crossed your arms that he looked at your face.

Still that lopsided smirk on his lips, he stood up and languidly made his way towards you. He came so close that you had to slightly crane your neck to meet his gaze.

Your heart raced as he let a few seconds of silence stretch between the two of you, keeping his eyes locked in yours. “Nice eyes,” he murmured after a pause, the sudden depth of his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

After six months of seeing him almost every day, one would think Jihoon’s flirty personality would not have such an effect on you anymore. And most of the time, it didn’t - even back in the day, he was already fond of teasing you, so usually, him telling you how pretty you looked, patting your head or him tucking stray strands of hairs behind your ear went somewhat unnoticed by you. Or at least, it was easier not to freak out over “small” things like these.

But this was one of the times when you thought he was really pushing it, and you lost the ability to even eye-roll, which was your usual defense against his flirting attacks. You hated to admit, but you just couldn’t pretend it didn’t have an effect on you. You hated it because you knew he was just flirting as a joke, not because he was actually interested or anything of the sort, and you felt stupid that it still did something to you - although you sometimes doubted whether he really was doing it just for fun. You wanted to think he was acting the way he was on purpose, to get a reaction out of you. It’d make you feel less of a fool.

Before you’d even had time to understand the meaning behind his words, he’d already walked away from you and to the pool. When your senses had come back and you spun around, he was already inside the water. He looked like a cute wet puppy with his hair sticking out all around his head, especially when he shook it and let droplets of water fall off his hair and splash around him, and you couldn’t believe this was the same man that had essentially called your tits nice just moments prior.

The raging butterflies in your stomach were your third sign.

You must’ve stared long, because after a while, your eyes met again, and a smile reappeared on his face. An actual smile, this time, not a smirk or anything of the sort. As if nothing had just happened - as if it was absolutely natural for your best friend to practically devour you with his eyes like that. 

He waved you over and you noticed Minjeong and Yoshi were with him, seemingly waiting for you as well. When you reached the edge of the pool, someone entered the room with a platter of shots of God knows what, and you immediately reached out for one and downed it. Sambuca, you realized with relief as the sweet liquid burned its way down your throat. That way, if your body kept buzzing the way it had been around Jihoon, you could blame it on the alcohol and nothing else.

Minjeong and Yoshi were already back in their new little world, but Jihoon watched with an amused grin as you measured the temperature of the water with a foot, then, deeming it warm enough, made your way towards your friends. There, the water reached up to your shoulders, and the fact that it got up to just a little bit under Jihoon’s chest only marked your height difference further, which shouldn’t have made you as flustered as it did.

“Didn’t I tell you not to drink too much before going into the water?” Jihoon asked, laughter clear in his voice.

“How about you let me drink as much as I want, and make sure I don’t drown?” you bit back, even though you knew it wasn’t much of a comeback. You had spoken in an irritated tone that, going by the way his smile softened, Jihoon found cute.

“Okay, I will,” he said, and the sweetness in his tone only served to further unnerve you.

If he noticed your annoyance, he didn’t say anything. 

You let yourself be convinced to play a game of chicken fight against Minjeong and Yoshi, which (along with that shot of Sambuca) made your competitive streak kick in and allowed you to, at least momentarily, forget about your irritation towards your friend. The reason behind that irritation was something you didn’t even want to think about.

Somehow, you endured the prickling on your skin as Jihoon kept your thighs tightly pressed around his shoulders with two big hands. Even when he squeezed the flesh there or craned his neck to look up at you with those big, round eyes of his, you managed to not let the way your stomach flipped get to your head. 

You weren’t sure how you won all three rounds of chicken fight, if it was thanks to Jihoon’s devotion to the gym, or yours to the free weekly Sunday morning pilates class your uni gym offers. It might’ve been down to the level of complicity you and Jihoon had built over the months that Yoshi and Minjeong hadn’t reached yet (if that can even be a factor in chicken fight success) - all you know, is that you do, and that even underwater, Jihoon’s hands burn as they snake their way around your waist, and press your body flush to his in a celebratory hug.

Some time later, you sit at the edge of the pool by yourself, having been deserted by the two lovebirds who not-so-sneakily snuck away under the pretext of getting some drinks, as well as by Jihoon who was called by some friends to join him back in the pool. You were at the level of tipsiness that made you want to self-introspectively sit on your own and people-watch for a little bit.

Until someone broke your peace.

“Hey, Y/N,” you heard a vaguely familiar voice say. Before you could respond, Kim Sunwoo was sitting next to you, a bit too close in your opinion for your level of acquaintance, clad in black swimming trunks that let the band of his Calvin Klein underwear peek through. 

He wasn’t half bad-looking, you decided in that instant.

“Oh, hi, Sunwoo,” you replied, smiling as you unquestioningly accepted the drink he offered you and thanked him for it. You peered at the orange liquid and decided it was the right color for alcohol before taking a sip. It being orange vodka didn’t come as much of a surprise. “I didn’t know you knew my name,” you admitted.

You recognized Sunwoo’s face from the Introduction to Literary Theory lecture you’d had last semester, and had learned his name when the lecture had to be online due to the professor falling ill, and he was one of the few brave students who had turned his camera on. With a face like his, you understood where the confidence came from.

Then, one night out on the town with Minjeong and other friends, you’d run into him at the counter of a bar, and had exchanged a few (flirty, if you recalled correctly) words, but not your names, hence the slight confusion.

He chuckled and you watched as two deep dimples appeared on his cheeks. “I did my research before coming here. Sadly, no one knew what kind of drink you liked, so I went for something basic and prayed.”

“This is perfect,” you said, laughing.

“To be perfectly honest,” he starts after a slight pause, “I’ve seen you around campus, and we even saw each other at a bar once, didn’t we?” he asks, and grins when you nod. “I felt stupid for never asking for your name, or your number. So when I saw you sitting here, I thought it must be fate that brought me to this party.”

You had barely registered his words, let alone formed any sort of response in your mind when Jihoon suddenly appeared in front of the two of you, placing a hand right next to your thigh on the pool edge. You hadn’t noticed him swimming your way.

“Hey, Sunwoo. I see you’ve met my girlfriend,” Jihoon blatantly lies as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The shock is apparent on Sunwoo’s face, and if it wasn’t for the sweet, convincing smile Jihoon was looking at you with, you might’ve let your surprise show more.

Sunwoo didn’t know Jihoon like you did, so you didn’t know whether he noticed the tightness in his grin, the challenge in his slightly raised eyebrows, or the general way he was holding himself that screamed Leave. But he must’ve noticed something, because it only took him a few seconds to start nodding slowly and rise from his seat.

For some reason, you stayed quiet, letting the word girlfriend and the way it had rolled off Jihoon’s tongue so easily repeat over and over again in your head. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he had said it so convincingly that you almost questioned whether you actually were Jihoon’s girlfriend. Before you could think any more about it, however, Sunwoo broke the increasingly tense silence.

“My bad, man, I didn’t know she was taken. I’ll leave you two to it, then,” he said with a smile, and that was that. 

You watched his retreating figure for a bit, eyebrows creased in confusion, before snapping your head towards Jihoon. Head tilted, he was fixing you with a questioning look, as if to ask, What are you up to?, when he was the one that had just acted strangely.

“What was that all about?” you asked.

Jihoon shrugged. “I chased him away for you. I’ve only heard bad stuff about that guy, like he sleeps with a new girl every weekend and doesn’t treat them right.”

You thought for a second, bottom lip slightly jutting out in concentration. “Well, couldn’t you have told me about his reputation then let me make the decision for myself?”

“I-” Jihoon started but stopped himself. He seemed to mull over your words for a bit, then sighed. “You’re right, I guess I could have, but you’ve been drinking, who knows if you would’ve made the right decision?”

This made you furrow your brows. “So what if I did? Getting drunk and going home with a rando is not unheard of, I would’ve been fine. Just maybe ashamed tomorrow morning.”

A flash of annoyance swept across Jihoon’s features, and your curiosity couldn’t help but be piqued. The two of you had had your fair share of aimless arguments over the months, but he’d never actually gotten cross with you. For some reason, you were suddenly itching to know what angry Jihoon was like.

“I wouldn’t be fine with it, though. I’d hate knowing that I let you go home with a prick like that.”

This wasn’t the first time Jihoon had fended off guys for you during a night out, but to his credit, they weren’t ever guys you wanted to talk to. And, well, admittedly, after learning what he was like, maybe you didn’t want to talk to Sunwoo either, but Jihoon’s protectiveness tonight was bothering you more than it ever had. 

You let a silence stretch between the two of you before speaking again. “You- you can’t just do that, you know,” you declared, not meeting his eyes.

“Do what?”

“Act like you just did. Pretending to be my boyfriend just to get a guy away from me.” Jihoon was just staring at you silently, so you felt compelled to add,  “You’re not actually my boyfriend, you know.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because his jaw locked and a coldness you had never seen before appeared in his eyes.

“Aren’t I basically?”

That caught you off guard. Where was this coming from? Jihoon had never entertained the idea of being your boyfriend, ever, so why was he suddenly acting like he was? Like he had always been?

And yet, you found yourself toying with the idea of dating Jihoon once more. The one question that pervaded your thoughts was, would things be so different? You’d never had a boyfriend, so you weren’t sure what they did, but you thought it wouldn’t be too far off from how Jihoon treated you now. Keep you safe, bring you food, buy you random keychains or pencils that reminded him of you, text you throughout the day, compliment you. The only difference would be…

Your eyes drifted down to his lips, and you swore you heard a shaky intake of breath coming from the man right in front of you.

The thought had barely crossed your mind that panic rose in your chest. You could not be thinking about kissing Jihoon. You couldn’t think about him being your boyfriend, either. You weren’t sure why, but your sudden heart palpitations at the mere idea told you that you just couldn’t.

“No, you’re not.” You had wanted to speak firmly, but you feared your voice had come out shakier than intended.

To your surprise, Jihoon scoffed. “So if I went off and started dating someone else, it wouldn’t bother you?” he asked in a disbelieving, almost mocking tone.

“No, it wouldn’t,” you answered, and as soon as the words were out, you knew they were a lie. You scrambled to your feet, suddenly wanting to be away from this conversation and the way it made you feel. “I’ll, um, I’ll head back inside.”

You ignored his call of your name and picked up your dress, hastily sliding it back on as you made your way back towards the living room where most of the action was. You quickly found that it was too loud, too hot, too packed in there. You headed back outside through another door that led to a part of the backyard far from the pool, where people sat in small groups around a big fire, either nursing a drink or passing round a joint, the smell of weed heavy in the air. At least it was quiet here.

You walked around some before spotting Jaehyuk, the man of the house himself, sitting on his lonesome on a swing bench in a dark corner of the garden, looking down despondently into a red solo cup. A couple hours into the party, this was the first time you saw him, you realized. It made you wonder how long he’d been sitting out here on his own.

“Hey, Jaehyuk,” you greeted, catching him by surprise. You took a seat next to him, sliding your hands underneath your thighs to keep them warm.

“Oh, hey, Y/N. Nice that you came.” He mustered a smile for you before taking a swig from his cup and cringing at the taste of what must’ve been alcohol.

“What are you doing out here by yourself?” you asked softly. You were used to cheery, smiley Jaehyuk, and even though you weren’t very close, you couldn’t help but be saddened by seeing your friend in such a state.

Jaehyuk sighed deeply. “The girl I planned this party for isn’t here.”

“The girl you… planned… this party for?” you echoed, and he nodded. “You mean this,” you said, gesturing to the house and backyard full to the brim with people, “is all for one girl?”

He sighed and nodded again, taking another sip from his cup. He tutted at the drink, or maybe at himself for drinking it when he knew how awful it tasted. “I wanted an excuse to see her outside of class.” He chuckled. “I realize now that I might have gone slightly overboard.”

“Just a bit,” you laughed along, watching as a group of stoners cheered at their friend who had found marshmallows and sticks God-knows-where. “It’s not even midnight yet, she might still be coming.”

Jaehyuk shrugged. “I’ve stopped hoping. I think I just need to get into the party and forget about it for tonight.”

You smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”

“What about you, what made you escape out here? The music not to your liking?”

“Are you kidding? This is the Danish alternative pop playlist of my dreams,” you said, earning a chuckle from him. “No, I just…” You realized you didn’t even know how to talk about this. What was making you so upset?

“I got into a bit of a… squabble with my friend, if you will. He-”

“Oh, so it’s a he?” Jaehyuk cut in, a knowing smile on his face.

“No- I mean, yes, he is, but it’s not like that, it’s- it’s…”

“It’s?” he egged on.

“Ugh, fine, it might be like that,” you finally admitted, as much to Jaehyuk as to yourself. Your irritation made him laugh.

“It’s okay, it happens.”

“I didn’t think it would happen to me, though.”

“Why not?”

You sighed. “Just ‘cause… him and I, we’ve known each other for such a long time, it feels weird that things would start changing now.”

“How long have you known each other?”

“We met when we were thirteen and fourteen. Then he moved away and we only met again in September last semester.”

“Did you keep in touch?”

“Not so much. I just heard from him through my brother, they’re much closer.”

“So… what I’m hearing is, you’ve known each other a long time, but you’ve only really become friends since September, right?”

“Right,” you echoed dubitatively, wondering where Jaehyuk was going.

“Y/N, that’s just a bit over six months.”

“...So?”

“So, that’s not nearly as long as you make it out to be. It’s not like you’ve been best friends for years and things are suddenly changing. Six months… aren’t that short, I’ll give you that, but I think it’s a reasonable time for people to get closer as friends and then start developing feelings.”

“Feelings?” you immediately echoed, panic evident in your voice.

Jaehyuk let out something like a chuckle, looking at you like he was figuring out whether you were joking or not. “Is that not what this whole thing is about?”

You dropped your gaze down to your thighs, frowning. “Feelings just sound so serious…”

“They can be, but they don’t have to.” After a few seconds of silence, he noticed your upset expression and nudged your shoulder good-naturedly. “What’s worrying you so much?”

“It’s just confusing. I… It’s not like I’ve been totally indifferent towards him up ‘til now, but there’s something about him lately, especially tonight. It makes me actually wonder about… you know. Whether I want him as a friend or not.” You sighed. “And even if I am feeling… feelings, I don’t know how he sees me. I could still be a sort of little sister in his eyes, for all I know.”

“What makes you think that?”

A small smile grew on your lips as you blew air from your nose. “Junkyu - my older brother - tasked him with looking after me when he learned I was going to attend this university with him. So, while I go crazy trying to figure out why he acts the way he acts and why I feel the way I feel, he might just be keeping a promise to my brother.”

“But have you ever seen him as an older brother?”

“No,” you replied immediately. Your surety almost took you aback. “Jihoon is… Jihoon. He’s definitely not Junkyu.”

Jaehyuk smiled. “Then I don’t think he would see you as a little sister, either. The way you act with a sibling and with a friend, potentially someone you like, is very different. I don’t think there’d be room for question if he treated you as a younger sister, you’d just know. Most guys I know are very obvious when they like someone, me included, so if you’re thinking about this so much just because of the way he acts with you… well, you’re probably onto something.”

“You think?” 

“I do.” 

You and Jaehyuk stayed outside chatting for a few more minutes until you decided to go back inside for some warmth and a refill of your empty cups. In the kitchen, you ran into some of your classmates, so you joined in their animated discussion on which version of The Sims is better (Asahi offended everyone by saying the mobile app was the best) instead of going looking for Minjeong and Jihoon like you had intended to.

A few minutes later, as your phone buzzed with six consecutive texts from your roommate, you found out where both of them were. 

minjeong girl do u know how many bedrooms there are in this goddamn house??!!!! yoshi and i are spending the night here xxx ask jaehyuk if he has a room for u or get home w jihoon whos that girl he’s talkin to in the kitchen btw??? love yaa xxxxxoooo text me if u need anything!! i’ll be busy but i’ll keep my phone on ;)

Usually, you’d have rolled your eyes at the exorbitant amount of x’s and the cheesy winky face, but something else had got your attention. Suddenly stepping away mentally from the conversation (which had turned into an interrogation on Asahi’s suspected addiction to mobile games), you looked around the crowded kitchen until your eyes settled on your culprit.

From where you were, you only had a view of his side profile, just as Minjeong had said, Jihoon was talking to a girl, red solo cup in his hand and stupidly attractive smile on his lips. She was leaning against the wall while he stood in front of her, both looking as relaxed as if they had known each other for years. What was up with all that eye contact? What was making them smile so hard?

You hadn’t realized how hard you were staring until Jaehyuk’s voice broke through your thoughts, asking if you were okay. 

“You look like you want to kill someone,” Sumin joked, not knowing she was closer to the truth than she thought.

You tried to laugh it off, saying you were just deeply disturbed by Asahi’s predicament, but you couldn’t keep yourself from glancing back at Jihoon and the girl every thirty seconds. Another girl arrived, and Jihoon shifted to make room for her so that he was now directly facing you. Over the chatter of the kitchen and music booming from the speakers in the living room, you couldn’t hear anything they were saying, but it seemed like Girl #1 was introducing Jihoon to Girl #2, placing a palm on his bicep as she did so. You counted - that hand stayed there for four whole seconds, and when she finally took it off of him, your eyes drifted back to Jihoon’s face.

Jihoon, who was staring right at you. Jihoon, who raised his eyebrows at you as if to say, What about it? while yours were creased in - confusion, anger, you weren’t sure what, but an ugly feeling you weren’t accustomed to. Jihoon, who, you decided, had to know what he was doing, had to know how this was making you feel.

The only thing on your mind was getting out of here and taking Jihoon with you. Without thinking much, you fished your phone out of your sweater pocket, texted Jihoon Let’s go and said bye to your friends, lying that your friend had suddenly asked you to leave.

After a few minutes of waiting by yourself outside in the cold, crouching to maximize body warmth, you started to wonder if Jihoon had decided to not follow you. But when you felt a weight drop on your shoulders, you snapped your head up to find him smiling down at you. 

“Where did you get this?” you asked, meaning the blanket he had given you.

“I stole it from the living room.”

“Jihoon,” you scolded.

“You know the guy right? Just give it back to him this week,” he said, lowering himself down to your level. Similarly to your eye contact in the kitchen, you were still frowning while he kept on smiling. “Not like you to want to leave before one a.m.. Is something the matter?” he asked, and you debated whether he was faking his innocence or not.

For about ten seconds, you tried to stay quiet, not wanting to betray your feelings to him. You glared ahead of you, watching your breath form wisps in the late February night air. 

But then he called your name so softly, it undid all of your resolve. The sound of it made you sigh.

“Who was that you were talking to?” you finally asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Hm? That was just Shuhua, she’s a Tawainese exchange student from one of my classes. Then she introduced me to her friend Yuqi.”

You nodded slowly, still not meeting Jihoon’s gaze. “I didn’t know there was a Taiwainese exchange student in one of your classes.”

“Y/N?” The unexpected seriousness with which he had called your name forced you to look at him.

“Hm.”

“I have something to tell you.” He must’ve noticed your sudden inability to speak, so he continued, lowering his head to be at eye-level with you. “There’s a Taiwainese exchange student in one of my classes.”

A smile broke through his serious facade and you had to look away to hide your own growing grin. “You’re stupid,” you said, but it only made Jihoon laugh.

“So is that what this is all about? A little bout of jealousy from my Y/N?”

You didn’t know what to focus on - the fact that he had finally put a name to what you were feeling or the face that he had called you his. It made you frown. “I wasn’t jealous,” you said, aware of how unbelievable you sounded.

“No? Then what made you want to leave so suddenly?”

“I- You-” you started, glaring at Jihoon when he snickered. “How come I can’t talk to guys but it’s okay for you to talk to girls?” 

“So you are jealous.”

“No, I just think you’re being unfair. I’m calling you out on your hypocrisy, Hoon. Double standards and all that.” 

Jihoon grinned. Had he known that he’d get such a reaction from you after talking to a friend that happened to be a girl, he’d have done it much earlier. And yet you had never had a problem with any of the girls in his usual friend group - if anything, the bunch of you often ganged up against him - so he wondered what was wrong with Shuhua in particular. Was it because you didn’t know her, and misunderstanding could arise?

His smile and eyes softened. No matter how adorable you looked to him right now, he wasn’t one to play games with feelings, his or yours. It was hard enough to make you realize how much he liked you (although he hoped that scene at the pool had made things more apparent), so he wasn’t going to make it even more confusing by letting you think he might like someone else.

Earlier, when he’d asked you if him dating someone else would bother you, and you’d answered no, he hadn’t formed any plan whatsoever to go off and talk to another girl right in front of you. Things just happened in his favor. He’d been talking with a whole group of people in the kitchen, but save for Jennifer, they’d all left for a game of spin the bottle (at their grown college age). Shuhua had a boyfriend back home and he had you, so they both had no interest for it. So it was just the two of them bonding over their love for Taylor Swift’s music when you appeared in the kitchen with Jaehyuk. 

Did he also feel a pang of jealousy seeing you with another guy, even though it was just Jaehyuk and he already knew of your friendship? Perhaps, but this wasn’t anything new with Jihoon. He didn’t think he’d be able to get rid of it until he had the surety that you were his, which had felt like a faraway goal until recently. Maybe it was due to his growing boldness or maybe you had managed to piece everything together yourself, but he was sure he’d felt a shift in your attitude towards him lately. There were times you would get shyer than usual, refusing to look him in the eyes; other times, like tonight, you’d defy him, as if trying to prove to both him and yourself you didn’t feel any sort of way towards him. But he hadn’t missed the way your eyes had drifted down to his lips and stayed there for a few seconds, hadn’t missed your panic when things seemed to get too real.

Just like you, although he didn’t know about that, he also found that there was something different about tonight, some tension between the two of you that was bound to explode. The fact that you were both in swimsuits had probably not helped. As soon as he’d seen you in your black tube dress, his imagination had started running wild. The way you casually had a gray zip sweatshirt of his in your room and donned it before leaving your place had made it harder to not just keep you in your apartment while the others went off to the party, and seeing you in your bikini was like the final boss he hadn’t been able to defeat. Keeping his eyes off of you was simply impossible. He wasn’t sure how he had resisted kissing you right then and there, showing everyone who the prettiest girl in the room - hell, at this party - belonged to.

(Jihoon had a bit of a possessive streak.)

Even now that you had somewhat made up, he still felt the changed air around you, like there was no going back from here. No pretending there were no unsaid feelings anymore - at least, that’s how he felt. If you needed the extra push to realize either his feelings, your own, or both, he didn’t mind initiating it. If anything, he had been waiting for it.

So he made sure to clear things up. “I didn’t want you to talk to Sunwoo because I knew he had bad intentions. Or at least selfish ones. Shuhua has a boyfriend, nothing was gonna happen there.”

“Oh, but if she didn’t, something would’ve?”

“No, Y/N. No,” Jihoon said firmly. 

“Why not? She’s pretty.” You knew you were being unreasonable at this point, arguing for the sake of arguing, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Jihoon sighed before placing a hand at the top of your head, brushing your hair gently. “I know someone who’s prettier.”

You turned your head slowly to look at him and were met with a sight you forever wanted to keep in your heart. Jihoon was looking down at you, eyes soft and filled with an emotion you wanted to describe as adoration, corners of his lips upturned into a sweet smile. You wanted to reach out and touch his cheek, feel the warmth of his skin under your palm and make sure he was real, but you were too stuck in his gaze to move.

“I actually know the prettiest girl in the world. I’m very lucky.”

You continued staring at each other for a few seconds or maybe a few hours, until he booped your nose and stood up. “Our Uber’s here, pretty girl.” 

You took his extended hand in yours and let him help you up, still in a daze as he opened the car door for you and rushed to the other side. You didn’t expect the relief you felt when he took your hand in his again as the Uber started driving. As the driver and him made minimal small talk, you watched out the window, but you couldn’t hear or see anything - you could only focus on Jihoon’s fingers intertwined with yours. Had hand-holding always felt so natural?

Even once you reached your apartment and you had to let go of it to get out of the car, the only thing you wanted was to have it again. 

You didn’t notice right away, as you punched in the code for the entrance to your apartment building, that Jihoon had stayed behind on the pavement. A light rain had started and his hair, all curled up from the pool, shone with small beads of water that the streetlights reflected on. 

“Aren’t you coming up?” you asked, turning around to face him and leaning against the door so it wouldn’t close.

“Not tonight,” he simply said, and you hesitated to ask him why. Whatever it was, he must have his reason, and you would see him again soon anyway, so you dropped it.

“Okay.” You nodded and hoped you didn’t sound as disappointed as you felt. 

You thought that would be it, but then he took a step closer to you, then another, until he was standing right in front of you. The doorstep made you taller so that your eyes were on a parallel with his lips, on which they naturally fell. No matter how confusing tonight might have been, if what you thought was about to happen actually did happen, you knew there was not a cell in your body that would resist it.

Jihoon leaned in closer and closer, until he was right there, and your lips would touch any second - but he leaned to the right, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips instead. You stood with bated breath as he leaned back, wearing a proud smirk. “Good to know you wouldn’t push me away if I tried to kiss you,” he said, but on this rare occasion, you were speechless. 

His smirk softened to a smile as he ruffled your hair. “Good night, Y/N.”

It wasn’t until he had reached the corner, turning around and waving at you to go into your building before disappearing that you snapped out of it and made your way to your apartment. As soon as you’d shut your front door behind you, you realized just how disappointed you felt that Jihoon hadn’t come up like he usually did, how much you missed the reassurance of having him there, even if the two of you were a room apart. 

You also realized you didn’t want any walls to separate you anymore.

And there you had it - the signs were too obvious to ignore anymore. The heart flutterings, the thoughts of him invading your mind day and night, the jealousy. The constant longing to be with him.

You were in love with Park Jihoon.

--

You fell into a deep sleep for about four hours, before waking up with a start.

You were in love with Park Jihoon.

What had seemed like a comforting thought at the time now freaked you out to no end. Park Jihoon was your best friend, your brother’s best friend, someone you’d met so long ago he’d known you during your embarrassing bangs phase of 2015 (BangGate, as your friends from home inappropriately liked to call it).

You were great as friends, sure, but how would you fare if things went further than that? There was no way for you to know other than by trying it firsthand. Did you want to take that leap, and risk falling face first - or chance falling right into his arms?

For some reassurance, you got your laptop out and went to Google. At first, you intended to search some YouTube videos or blog posts about successful best-friends-turned-lovers stories, but something deep inside your brain compelled you to type Omegle in the search bar. Even if it was five a.m. for you, it’d be a reasonable time of the day for people with good relationship advice somewhere, right?

In your interests, you typed love, relationship and advice, hoping this would lead you to your savior. After skipping a few naked men who apparently were into love too, two young girls appeared on your screen who, going off of their accent, were British. They looked about eleven and were doing their nails, not paying attention to their screen. NewJeans was playing in the background.

They were perfect.

“Hey, girls!” you said, cringing at the sound of your own voice.

They raised their heads in unison, looking at you for a second before coming closer to the screen, all wide smiles. One of them had braces with pink elastics. “Hey, girl!”

You decided you had no time to lose, so you directly told them you needed advice with a boy you liked. They nodded vigorously. So you told them everything - from how you and Jihoon had met, to reconnecting in September, to the events of the past few months (including a detailed rundown of what happened at the pool, which they loved). They even insisted on seeing a picture and squealed when you showed them. Your Jihoon really was handsome.

“So? What do you think I should do?” you asked when you were done recounting everything.

“I have this thing I do whenever I fancy someone,” the girl on the right started, while the other one munched on some sour candy. You nodded for her to continue. “It really helps me know if I should keep fancying them or if they’re not worth it. It’s called a compibi- compa- combali- Rosie, what was it again?”

“A compatibility test,” Rosie said, tongue blue from her candy.

“Right, that. It works like magic. Just the other week I thought for sure Leo was the cutest boy in school but then I did the test thing and got forty percent with him and a few days later he was dating Sarah anyway.”

“Sarah is terrible,” Rosie chipped in.

“Oh no!” you exclaimed.

“Yeah, really bad,” the other girl said, nodding. “But then, I did it with Martin and got eighty-six percent and we’ve been dating for ten days now, we have,” she finished proudly.

“That’s amazing.” You didn’t know if it was the lack of sleep or the conviction with which the girl spoke, but you were hooked. “How do I do it?” you asked, although you’d probably done it when you were their age too.

“Oh, it’s easy. You just type the comp- Rosie?”

“Compatibility.”

“That, test on Google and click any one of them and type in your name then his. Any of them will do, I’m sure,” she shrugged, reaching for a candy. 

“Okay, let me do it right now. Gimme a sec.” After a few clicks, you’d reached an early 2010s-style website called lovecalculator.com, all pink and cupids shooting their arrows into the sky. You typed in your name, then Jihoon’s, then pressed a shaky finger to the Enter bar.

“Oh my gosh!” you squealed. “We got ninety-nine percent!”

“Oh my gosh!” the girls yelped back, clapping and hugging each other in celebration.

“Girl, you need to go tell him right now,” non-Rosie said firmly.

“Right now,” Rosie echoed.

You pouted. “I can’t, it’s five a.m. right now.”

“You better go later then! You two are meant to be! You’ll last at least like, a month or two.” 

“At least.”

After thanking and saying good-bye to your new best friends, you spent a good three minutes staring at the big 99% in bright pink on your screen. This randomly generated number made you so happy that you took a screenshot and printed it out on Minjeong’s printer in the living room, then put it on your fridge for you to admire. You used a magnet Jihoon had gifted you for Christmas - it was a four-cut photobooth picture of you two you’d taken at the Christmas market. You thought you’d only taken the paper version, but he’d made you go get food for the both of you while he bought the magnet version as well.

Your mind at ease, you started heading back to your room, but you ran into someone right as you walked out of the kitchen.

You looked him up and down. Yoshinori was standing in your living room half-naked, looking like a deer caught in headlights. 

“H-hey, Y/N,” he said, breaking the silence first. “I’m sorry, I thought you were sleeping…”

“I woke up early,” you replied, unable to keep yourself from smiling at his awkwardness. “What are you doing?”

“Just, um, just getting some water.”

“And you have to come to my apartment to do that?”

“No, I, um- Someone called the cops, so Jaehyuk kicked all of us out.”

“I thought you were in a room somewhere?”

“Yeah, but we went outside to see what was happening, and he saw us, so we had to leave.”

“Right… Well, glad you made it back home safe.” The strangeness of the situation suddenly hit you, and you realized you should probably let the half-naked man get his glass of water and leave. “I’ll go back to my room, then.”

“Oh, right, see you, Y/N. And sorry.”

“No worries!” you said, waving his apology off and scurried off to your bedroom. You plopped into your bed with a satisfied sigh, hugging a plushie Jihoon had won for you at an arcade close to your chest. He really was everywhere.

When you woke up next, sunlight was pouring from the window into your room. You checked your phone - nine a.m.. Not early enough to go to late sleeper Jihoon’s place, but definitely early enough to call your probably still sleeping brother. You had to tell someone about your newfound revelation, and Minjeong next door was either asleep or busy.

Your phone rang with an outgoing call for so long that you thought Junkyu might simply not pick up. “I’m in love with Jihoon,” you blurted out as soon as your brother’s face appeared on screen. 

He paused for a second, taking your words in, then yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

“I’m in love with Jihoon,” you repeated, more insistently.

“I heard you the first time.”

“Well, what do you think?!” you asked, impatience rising. You couldn’t believe your brother could be sarcastic in an emergency like this.

Junkyu frowned. “Uh, congratulations?”

You tutted. “Kyu, I’m serious about this!”

“I know, I can tell,” he said, chuckling. “Are you going to tell him?”

“I think I have to. I think… I think he feels the same way about me, actually.”

Junkyu rolled his eyes. “No shit, Sherlock.”

You paused. “Huh?”

“Everyone and their mom knows he’s in love with you, we were just all waiting for you to see it.”

“Huh?!” Junkyu shrugged. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Your brother sighed. “Some things in life, you have to figure out on your own, sis. Like taxes.” You just frowned at him. “Well, how did you figure it out?”

“Now that you say it, I guess I should’ve noticed it earlier. But really what happened is I saw him talking to a girl.”

“Put the man in jail!”

“Shut up. And then we talked for a bit, and he didn’t outright say it, but he heavily implied that he… liked me.”

Junkyu scoffed. “That’s an understatement.”

You ignored your brother. “But I don’t know if I should wait for a bit or go tell him now-”

“Y/N. Please, put that man out of his misery and go tell him now.”

“Don’t you think he’d get upset if I confessed first? You know Jihoon, he gets proud about random things like that.”

“Believe me, he won’t care. He’ll just be happy you like him back after all this time.”

You thought for a second, a small smile blooming on your lips. “Does he really like me that much?”

Junkyu sighed. “He’s been harping on about you since we were fourteen. He probably keeps a diary or a boyblog where he just writes about you. Just go get him, girl.”

Your smile grew wider and your heart started beating faster, excitement growing in your stomach at the thought of seeing Jihoon again. “Okay, I will.” You and your brother stared at each other for a second, eyes wide in anticipation, until something struck you.

“Wait… You don’t mind, do you? Your sister and best friend dating?”

“I l-word both of you, so no, I don’t mind. I trust you both enough to not hurt each other. But I’m still your brother, so if that prick does anything to hurt you, I’ll kick his ass, okay?”

“Kyu, he bench-presses your weight as a joke.”

He squinted his eyes at you. “I’ll metaphorically kick his ass, then.”

“And what if I hurt him?”

Junkyu thought for a second. “I’ll… give you the silent treatment for a few days.”

“How scary,” you laughed.

“Anyways, congratulations in advance and all that, but for my mental health please pretend you’re not a couple in front of me and remember that premarital sex is a sin.”

“Will do! Bye, Kyu!”

--

Right after hanging up with your brother, you texted Jihoon, asking if you could come over. You quickly got ready, doing affirmations in the mirror to calm yourself down, and as soon as your phone pinged with Jihoon’s answer (miss me already?), you were out the door. It was usually a thirteen-minute walk between your and Jihoon’s place, but with the power of love, it only took you eight.

You felt like your body had gone on autopilot - instead of practicing over and over what you would say to him in your head, imagining all the terrible ways it could go or pacing back and forth in front of his apartment building, you just walked, the loud thumping of your heart in your ears drowning everything else out. You’d just get there and get it over with. 

Even when you had to wait for seven seconds (you counted) for Jihoon to open the door after you’d rung the doorbell, you didn’t start panicking. 

“Hey, Y/N, I just ordered some-”

“I love you.”

“Breakfast… You what?”

“I love you, Hoonie,” you beamed. The relief of letting those words free made tears pool in the corner of your eyes.

Jihoon just stared at you, mouth agape and expression like he couldn’t believe what was hearing. Reaching for your hand, he brought you closer to him and shut the door behind you, eyes never once leaving yours. Then, he pulled you into a hug, one so tight you’d be worried about your blood circulation being cut off if it wasn’t Jihoon’s arms you were in. 

“Can you say it again, please?” he asked, nose buried in your hair and voice weak like you’d never heard it before.

You tightened your hold around his waist. “I love you,” you whispered.

“Again?”

“I love you,” you repeated, giggling.

He laughed too, more out of relief than anything. “I love you, too.”

He leaned back and raised his hands to gently cup your face in his palms. The both of you were smiling like idiots from ear to ear, gazing into each other’s eyes. Tears streamed down your cheek and he wiped them away with a thumb before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Took you long enough,” he said, making you laugh again.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Jihoon shook his head. “Don’t be. You have no idea how happy I am right now.”

“I’m happy for you guys and all, but could you like, not do this here?” a voice interrupted you. You looked behind Jihoon’s shoulder to find Hyunsuk, one of his roommates, on the living room sofa, watching Brooklyn 99. You hadn’t even noticed him. In his defense, you were declaring your love for each other right next to him in the entrance hallway. 

“Oh, right, sorry, Suk. Let’s go into my room,” he said, tugging at your hand. 

The both of you burst into giggles as soon as the door shut behind you. Jihoon wasted no time in pulling you into another hug, and it felt like your whole body sighed as you let his warmth engulf you. You cursed yourself for not letting yourself have this earlier. You gently rocked from side to side together, as if slow dancing to a melody only the two of you could hear.

“I guess a little jealousy goes a long way, huh?” Jihoon said after a minute of silence.

“I wasn’t jealous,” you huffed, leaning back so he could see your frown.

“What made you realize your undying love for me, then?”

“I just… I thought we’d be good together. I realized how compatible we are, if you will.”

“Our compatibility? Did you only notice it last night?”

You grinned. “Guess I did,” you answered, just to tease him. Jihoon did not need to know about your love calculator epiphany.

He looked at you like you had hung the stars in the sky. You felt shy under his gaze, but you couldn’t get yourself to look away. “So does that mean we’re… boyfriend and girlfriend now?” he asked, making you burst into laughter. “Don’t make fun of me! It’s important to make things clear,” he complained between giggles.

“Yes, let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Awesome,” he replied, then pursed his lips as if debating to say what he wanted to say next. “So, now that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend…”

“Yes, Hoon?”

“Does that mean I can kiss you?” he asked, a small smile playing on his lips that you mirrored.

“Please,” you whispered.

So he did.

When his lips touched yours, it was like a flower that had been waiting for the right moment finally bloomed inside your chest. It felt soft, and comforting, and just right. Like your lips had always meant to meet. 

At least, it started out that way. The fabric of Jihoon’s t-shirt bunched up in your hands while his cupped your face tenderly, your lips moving in a slow cadence against each other’s as if you had all the time in the world - and you did. You were both so filled to the brim with excitement that when you pulled away for a breather, you laughed together, foreheads resting against each other.

But then, you raised your hands and threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging on it gently as you deepened the kiss. You probably hadn’t done it on purpose, simply wanting to feel more of Jihoon out of some basic instinct - but it undid something in him. 

He slid his hands down the sides of your neck and your shoulders until they reached your arms, pulling on them to have your body closer to his. His hands then continued their journey down to your waist, where they sneaked themselves under your t-shirt. They ran up and up until almost your entire back was exposed to the fresh air in his room, the contrast between that and the fire-hot warmth of Jihoon’s hands against your bare skin making you shiver.

He walked you backwards until the back of your legs hit his mattress, unto which he helped you down gently, somehow not breaking the kiss as he did. One of his hands came to brush hair away from your face, while the other remained on your waist, after some time venturing onto your stomach, a sensitive spot for you that made you sigh into his mouth. He took that opportunity to slide his tongue against yours, yet another new sensation that made your head spin.

This was exceeding any expectations you had ever had for a first kiss. In fact, you had always thought first kisses were messy, awkward things, but this was nothing of the sort - your whole body was on edge, responding to every little movement on Jihoon’s part. Your fingers buzzed with a fizzy electricity that put your brain in a daze. You could do this forever, you thought. 

But forever was cut short by the sudden buzz of Jihoon’s phone. Jihoon started, practically leaping off of you and dramatically holding onto his chest when he realized it was just his phone that had interrupted you. The delivery person was calling him to announce their arrival. 

Jihoon pressed a kiss to your forehead, took a few steps, then came back to press another kiss, this time to your lips. Your stomach growled loudly while you waited for him, and you realized you still hadn’t eaten today. Add making out to that, you were ready to devour whatever it was Jihoon had ordered. 

The smell coming from the paper bag Jihoon held as he entered the room again made you close your eyes in bliss and take a deep whiff. “Johnny’s,” you whispered. “You know me so well.”

Johnny’s was your absolute favorite breakfast place in all of town. It had been opened a few years ago by a graduate of your university who had mastered the art of hangover food. From soups, to hash brown patties, to iced coffee, he knew exactly what it was that students needed after a night out. You could tell he had a lot of experience with that himself. He was kind of like a God amongst the student body of your university.

“Of course I do. I know your order from all of your favorite restaurants, and somehow you only realized yesterday that I was pathetically in love with you.”

You smiled sheepishly, taking a bite of your sausage and egg wrap. “How long are you going to hold this over my head?”

Jihoon grinned brightly. “Until I forget about it.”

“So never?”

“Precisely.”

He put on the next episode of your show, and for the next couple hours, the two of you stayed holed up in his room, cuddling once you were done with your food. Even though you had spent endless time watching shows or movies side by side, neither of you had ever dared initiate physical touch, no matter how much you’d wanted to. He’d been scared you’d pull away from him, and you’d been scared it’d be awkward. You hadn’t realized how much you’d longed for his proximity and warmth until you had it.

Save for his laptop screen, it’d been quiet for a while, and you thought you might fall asleep when Jihoon spoke. “I’m so glad I don’t need to pretend anymore,” he said as one episode finished and the next one started.

“Pretend what?”

“That I’m not desperately in love with you and that every single little thing you do doesn’t drive me insane.”

You giggled. “Does it?”

“Yes,” he whispered, his voice a heavy sigh, almost a groan. There was a slight edge to it, a deeper meaning behind that short yes that had your stomach suddenly feeling very tight.

“Oh,” was all you could answer. You suddenly wondered what you might have done without thinking that had had an effect on Jihoon, just as he’d done to you many times before. You also wondered what sort of effect you may have had on him, what sort of thoughts he may have had about you that he had to keep to himself all this time.

Tentatively, you cocked your head up, only to find he was already looking down at you. The glint in his eyes made your body burn. Just as he started to lean in to reunite your lips, your phone buzzed with many texts in a row. Jihoon closed his eyes in frustration and sighed. “I want to throw both of our phones away,” he said, making you laugh.

minjeong hey pooks idk if ur out somewhere or still sleeping but im going to yoshis placeee he needs some stuff there so we’re going together and i’ll prob spend the night over… we’re like inseparable rn or wtv. anyways dont set the place on fire while i’m gone x

you ok thx for letting me know xx im w my boyfriend rn

Minjeong’s response didn’t even take three seconds to come through.

minjeong HUHHHH??? GIRL ???

you hehe

minjeong park jihoon is one lucky man

you how do u know its him?

minjeong literally who else would it be wait does that mean we’ll go on double dates…

you yeah ur right and pls no

minjeong DOUBLE DATES !! girls night tomorrow night i want all the deeeets have fun having the place all to urselves and rmb to use protection xx

you why is that where ur mind goes first ?? down for girls night tho can we watch teen beach movie

minjeong duhhh

“Teen Beach Movie?” Jihoon said, startling you. You hadn’t realized he’d been reading over your shoulders.

“It’s a good movie,” you mumbled, frowning.

“Right.” He said nothing for a few seconds, but he just couldn’t contain himself. The question was burning his tongue. “Aren’t you on the pill?”

Your head snapped towards him at the sudden question. “Uh, yeah, I am. Why?”

His eyes scanned your face as a smirk grew on his lips. “Then we don’t need to use protection, do we?”

You gulped. Your whole face felt hot - after having just shared your first kiss, you hadn’t expected him to mention sex so easily. Not that you weren’t interested in that, far from it, you were just… nervous.

You turned away from him, unable to sustain his gaze any longer. “I guess not,” you murmured. You had started taking the pill at the beginning of university, mainly to regulate your period and lessen your hormonal acne. The contraceptive part was just a bonus, one you had never imagined would come into handy like this. 

Jihoon’s eyes suddenly widened. “Oh, I need to tell Yoshi about this! He’s gonna freak. I hope he won’t be mad he learned it from Minjeong and not me first.”

“Yoshi?” you asked as you watched him reach for his phone on his nightstand.

“Yeah, we’ve been updating each other on our love lives. He’s really into Minjeong, by the way.”

“That’s… strangely wholesome, actually.” 

While he typed away, you tilted your head and took the time to appreciate your boyfriend’s features. The round eyes, heart-shaped lips, sharp nose and even sharper jawline. He was so pretty, and now, he was all yours.

Without thinking, you traced a finger along his jaw, liking the feel of it against your skin. When his eyes found yours, you dropped your hand and straightened your head, expression like you’d just been caught red-handed.

“Should we go back to your place? We can pick up food on the way.”

You smiled. “We just ate.”

“And I’m hungry again,” he said, mirroring your smile and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Or at least, he had intended it as a chaste kiss, but he found that he couldn’t quite get himself to pull away. “Let’s go,” he said, lips moving against yours as he spoke, but made no move to actually go.

“Let’s go,” you repeated, staying perfectly still. You’re not sure who was the one to cross the millimeters between your lips, but before you knew it, you and Jihoon’s lips were stuck to each other once more. This kiss had none of the gradual intensity of the previous one - right off the bat, the feeling of Jihoon’s lips against yours flooded all of your senses.

Your hands found purchase in his hair while his found their way to your waist once more. With surprising ease, he pulled you to him so that you were straddling his lap. For a second there, you were conscious about how heavy you might be on top of him, but it was all forgotten when he pressed his lips to yours again in a passionate kiss. In this new position, you could press your body close to his, so close you could almost feel his heart beat against yours. He also had easier access to your back than before, and he quickly took advantage of that. 

Just like before, he sneaked his hands underneath your t-shirt, making you arch your back against him. He slid a finger underneath your bra strap and pulled away for a second to ask if this was okay. You looked at him - his eyes were darker than you’d ever seen before and his face had lust written all over it. You were sure you looked similar.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” you whispered before diving back into the kiss. One second apart felt like hours to you.

Your breath got shakier as he unclasped your bra. He didn’t do anything right away, settling on brushing his palm up and down your back while your heart raced with anticipation. You were so on edge that you couldn’t even kiss him anymore - you buried your face in his neck, gripping his hair so tightly you were probably hurting him. You didn’t care if he could feel how desperate you were. Then, finally, painfully slowly, one of his hands made its way to your front, and he gently grabbed your breast underneath your bra that was hanging from your shoulders. That was already a foreign sensation in itself, but when he took your nipple between two fingers and pulled on it ever-so-gently, the pleasure that overtook your body was so intense that it made you let out a loud gasp and you pulled away from Jihoon, startled as if you had been shocked by lightning. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, breathing heavily, a mix of worry and desire in his eyes. 

You nodded, holding onto his shoulders as you tried to make your breathing return to normal. “I’m fine, just… it’s all very new, is all. I’ve never done any of this before.”

Never had a boyfriend, never held hands romantically, never kissed - that was you. Not that you minded, though, since you’d never been interested in anyone and you were happy to do this with Jihoon, whom you trusted more than anyone else.

He smiled softly. “That’s okay. Does it at least feel good?” he asked, low voice making the hairs on your arms stand.

You whined, hiding your face in the dip of his shoulder again. “It does…” you admitted, voice muffled against his skin.

“You know, it’s my first time too,” he said after a while. 

You lifted your head to look at him. “Really?”

“Mh-hm. You’re my first girlfriend.” His eyes were full of affection as he gazed at you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You giggled. “What’s funny?” he asked softly, pressing a kiss to your jaw.

“We’re each other’s firsts,” you explained. “I think that’s nice.”

Jihoon made his way to your lips, giving them a small peck. “That is nice. And I promise I’ll make you feel so good,” another peck, “you’ll want me to be your last as well.”

You looked at him for a bit, taking in his features that looked even more beautiful to you now that you’d realized your feelings for him, and thought of a life with him. It might have been slightly premature, but you already knew you liked the idea of that.

“Okay,” you said, as if what he had said had been an offer. It made him smile.

“Okay.” He kissed you, softly like you could break underneath his touch. “You’re so cute, you know that?” he asked against your lips, but didn’t leave you time to answer before kissing you again. “Okay, I think we should take a break,” he said after a few minutes. “We can go to your place. And then we’ll have more… privacy.”

You agreed that spending some time not pressed up against Jihoon might help you think straight again. The walk to your apartment was nice and quiet, your interlocked hands swinging back and forth between your two bodies. When you walked past the grocery store, you stopped in your tracks, looking at Jihoon with a smile which he mirrored immediately, even without knowing the reason behind it.

“Should we bake a cake to celebrate our first day together?”

“That’s very cheesy.” His grin widened as he took a step closer to you. “I love it.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and led you into the store.

The rest of that afternoon was spent baking and decorating the cake. It was a simple vanilla batter, but it took way longer than it should have, because Jihoon first insisted on having a flour fight (which took ages to clean), then on having two cakes and having a competition for whose would be prettier (yours, of course), but you loved every last second of it. It was like a scene out of a movie, and you could not have been more content. To really bring home the cheesiness of it all, you even recorded yourselves blowing out the number one candles of your respective cakes.

The evening came around, and, full of cake and Chinese takeout, you were holed up in bed together, watching the first movie that had popped up on your Netflix recommended. It was too easy, falling asleep in his arms. The combination of his comforting scent and the soft back rubs he was giving you lulled you to sleep like nothing else. 

When you woke up next, it was because of a sudden lack of warmth next to you. You lifted your head to find Jihoon opening your bedroom door and heading into the living room. He had just been going to get water, but you didn’t know that.

“Hoon?” you called out, raising yourself to a sitting position on your bed. He immediately turned around, walking back towards you and crouching next to your bed.

“Hm?”

“Aren’t you staying?” you asked, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt sleeve. He looked at your hand before his gaze slowly made its way back up towards your face, a smirk growing on his pretty lips. 

“Do you want me to?” he asked back, gazing deep into your eyes. His voice had dropped to a low volume that made it hard to breathe. Initially, you’d just wanted him back by your side, but now all sorts of thoughts were running through your mind.

“Of course. I mean, we’re dating, right?” 

In an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, you tried to chuckle, but all laughter died in your throat when your eyes locked with Jihoon’s. You weren’t scared of his intensity - you were scared of the pace at which your desire for him was growing. One inch closer, and you knew you’d be wrapped around his finger.

He leaned closer.

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, tilting his head innocently to the side. Mindlessly, you rubbed your thighs together, searching for some relief for your core that had started to throb of its own accord, but Jihoon was following your every movement and had noticed it. “Are you saying you want to consummate our relationship?” he asked again, a hint of amusement in his voice as he placed his hands on your knee that wasn’t covered by the blanket.

You scoffed and looked away, hoping you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. “Not if you say it like that,” you mumbled.

Jihoon’s eyebrows perked up. “How should I say it, then?” he whispered. His hand slowly brushed along your sides until it reached your waist. Even over your layer of clothing, his touch burned. “You want me to make love to you?”

You kept your gaze fixed on something behind his shoulder, focusing on your breathing that was getting shakier and shakier. He drew the blanket away, leaving your thighs exposed to the chilly air for a second before he splayed his large palms on them, bringing you some warmth but intensifying the throbbing in your core. His hands inched closer and closer to where you most needed them, rubbing over your inner thighs but swerving right before he actually reached your core, setting them on your hip bones instead.

“Or do you want me to fuck you, Y/N?”

He took your chin between two fingers, forcing you to meet his gaze. Your eyes locked for a second before they dropped to his lips, watching the smirk that grew on them. “Guess it’s the latter.” 

As soon as your lips touched, you were overwhelmed by the immensity of your desire for him. Your whole body burned in want, in need. You had no idea what to do except hold on tightly to him and hope for the best, hope that he’d know how to guide you through this even if it was new for him as well. 

If you thought the kisses you’d shared earlier in the day had been intense, this one was on a whole other level. Your hands grabbed everywhere they could find and his gripped your waist firmly as your tongues danced with each other, resulting in a messy kiss that had your head spinning from lack of air in seconds. And yet, you couldn’t get enough. You kept pulling Jihoon impossibly closer by the hem of his t-shirt until he got frustrated from the layer of clothing between you two and simply took it off, discarding somewhere in your room. He gave you no time to admire his defined chest or abs, because he trapped your lips right away. 

He pushed you slowly onto the bed until he was hovering over you, alternating between kissing your lips and your neck, that you were sure would have a couple of purple marks for you to find the next day. Your skin burned wherever he touched it, and it was like a trail of fire had appeared as his hand made its way to your breasts once more, grabbing harshly at the soft flesh there. 

The whole time, he had been in some sort of a trance, drunk on your body, on your scent, on the way you were touching him - on the feeling that you finally wanted him as much as he’d wanted you all this time. But when he helped you out of the articles of clothing covering your upper body, and he had you half-naked underneath him, he had to take a double take and remember to take his time instead of just devouring you whole. For both his sake and yours.  

So he stopped for a bit, letting himself admire you. He noticed you shifting uncomfortably, so he leaned down again, pressing soft kisses along your cheeks and your jaw. “You really are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he whispered before kissing you. He then continued his journey down your neck and collarbones until he reached your breast. “Really so beautiful.”

When he took one of your nipples in his mouth, your back arched against him and you let out a loud moan. He couldn’t keep himself from chuckling slightly - he found it adorable how sensitive you were everywhere he touched you. Your moans were like music to his ears.

Nothing had ever felt like this before. As he circled his tongue around your nipple - God knows where he had learned how to do this - it took everything you had to not just scream in pleasure. Even if Minjeong was out, you still had neighbors. Now that you couldn’t grab his t-shirt, you’d switched to his hair, and you were tugging at it so hard you wouldn’t have been surprised if you ripped a clump of it from his head.

Your panties were sticking to your core, all slick with your arousal, and you didn’t know how long you could go on anymore without attention down there.

As if he’d heard your thoughts, Jihoon started making his way down your body once more, trailing kisses all across your ribcage and stomach.

“I’m torn between taking this real slow and making it last as long as possible.” His lips found a sensitive spot on your lower stomach, right next to your hip bone, and he gently bit the skin there, licking it afterwards to offer you some relief. “Or just devouring you now that I finally have you.”

“Jihoon,” you sighed, desperation evident in your voice. “Please, just do something.”

“Like what?” he asked, clearly enjoying your lust-filled state of mind.

“Anything.”

He chuckled, and by the sound of it, you knew he didn’t have anything good in mind. He lowered himself some more until his mouth was positioned right in front of your pussy, and, with no warning, licked a long strip from your hole to your clit over your panties, humming at the taste of your arousal.

“Something like this?” he asked afterwards, but was only met with a whine. He kissed the soft flesh of your inner thighs while you squirmed in his hold.

“Don’t tease me, please…” you begged, and your voice was so weak and genuine that he could only give in. 

“Whatever you want, baby,” he obliged, the nickname rolling off of his tongue casually. He had no idea what it did to you. 

He helped you out of your underwear, finally getting you fully naked just for him. Jihoon was a man of his words, so not a second was lost before he dived right back into you, licking up the arousal spilling out of you before flicking his tongue at your clit. He held your hips tightly in both of his hands so you couldn’t squirm away from him and ate you out like a man starved. You were so sweet and warm against his tongue, and your taste was worlds more intoxicating than any alcohol he’d ever had. He’d do this forever if you let him.

He noticed quickly that attention to your clit was what got you moaning the loudest, so he alternated between circling his tongue around it and gently sucking at it, sometimes releasing it with a pop just for the hell of it. He slipped a finger easily inside of you, your wetness accommodating him immediately. He couldn’t wait to be inside you - his hard cock was throbbing in the confines of his underwear, but his only concern right now was to make you come undone for him. 

When he found that deep spot inside of you, the one that had you gasping in pleasure and moaning his name, he slid a second finger in, and just like that, you were done for. You came apart on his fingers and tongue, a complete moaning mess underneath him, and he lapped up the arousal leaking out of you like it was water. 

You’d already thought you were at the peak of pleasure when your orgasm came ripping through you like an avalanche, blindsiding you and making you see bright white stars behind your tightly closed eyelids. Your throat felt dry from all the moaning and heaving you’d been doing. You had to take Jihoon’s face between your hands and gently pull him up yourself, otherwise it seemed like he was happy to keep going, but it was starting to overwhelm you.

Jihoon held you in his arms as you came down from your high. You let out the laughter bubbling in your throat as your breathing returned to normal - not because something was funny, but because you had just felt so ridiculously amazing that you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“How was it?” Jihoon asked, a lot shyer than you’d expected.

You lifted your head to look at him, a bright smile on your face even though you felt close to exhausted. “I have a hard time believing that was your first time giving head, Hoon.”

He chuckled. “Very first time, I promise you. I must just have some God-given skills.”

“I’m not even gonna fight you on that, because that was amazing,” you conceded, nuzzling yourself closer to him.

“I’m glad I could do that for you,” he said softly, burying his nose at the top of your head and inhaling there. The scent of your hair was oddly comforting for him.

Before you let yourself drift off to sleep, you started raking your fingernails across his chest and abs, smiling proudly to yourself when you heard him breathe shakily or felt his muscles clench under your touch. He wasn’t saying anything, but you could tell he was holding himself back. “I think,” you started, pressing a kiss to the corner of his jaw, “That you deserve something in return.”

“You don’t-”

You knew Jihoon. He didn’t like it when you insisted on paying for coffee because he’d done it the last time, or when you baked him something because he’d stayed up all night with you studying for a test. He liked taking care of you, but you always had to almost force him to let you take care of him. You wanted your relationship to be fifty-fifty - you wanted to give him as much as he gave you. Even if he would let you, it wasn’t fair to just take and take.

So you insisted. Whatever he was about to say, it died on his tongue as soon as you placed your palm on his erection. It felt hot and hard under your hand, and saying you weren’t slightly intimidated would be a lie, but you wanted to do this. If you were able to give Jihoon half the pleasure he’d given you moments prior, you’d be satisfied. 

You rubbed your hand slowly up and down over his clothes. “Really, baby,” he managed to say between shaky breaths, “I didn’t do that to get something in return- Fuck,” he whispered as you hooked your fingers underneath the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling it down his legs so he was only left in his underwear. Under the black fabric, his bulge looked huge, and you gulped at the idea of having it inside you.

“This feels good, right, Hoon?” you asked, steadily getting bolder and pressing slightly harder against his bulge as you continued rubbing it.

“It- it does, but-”

You shut him up by pressing your lips to his. He reciprocated it immediately, almost unconsciously, before moaning into the kiss. “So let me do this for you,” you whispered before ridding him of his underwear.

“Okay,” he said, sighing as you rubbed your hands from his knees along his thighs.

The groan he let out as you took him in your hand sent shivers straight down your spine. You could finally put to use all the knowledge Minjeong had passed on to you over the past few months. You let go of Jihoon’s cock to spit in your hand, the moisture helping you glide your loosely closed fist along his shaft with more ease. Your movements themselves were probably very clumsy, but Jihoon didn’t seem to mind - he moaned shamelessly, head fallen back against the pillows and exposed Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

Seeing him like this and knowing it was all because of you drove you crazy, and soon, you became greedy for any sign of pleasure from him. You wanted to hear all of his moans, sighs, groans, watch his abs clench tightly and feel him grab your hair, which he did as soon as you flicked your tongue across his tip, already leaking with pre-cum. The endless string of curses and moans that flew from his mouth as you circled your tongue and shallowly bobbed your mouth around him filled you with satisfaction.

“Fuck, just like that, Y/N. You’re doing so fucking well, baby. Making me feel so good.” Those words had been the cherry on top.

Jihoon was of a more-than-decent size, and fitting all of him inside of your mouth was probably a task that would take a few tries to achieve - you still did your best to take as much of him as you could. You massaged his balls with one of your hands, using the other to hold the base of his shaft while you bobbed your head up and down. You did this with increasing speed then let him take control over your pace as his fingers threaded themselves in your hair, guiding your head around him. You didn’t even know if he was doing it on purpose or out of reflex, but you definitely did not mind handing him the reins.

“You’re gonna make me- Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna cum, sweetheart.” You hummed around his shaft, and that seemed to do him in - with a loud groan, he released his load, hot and sticky inside your mouth. Taken aback by the bitter taste, you lifted your head and only swallowed what you had caught. You took him in your hand again, jerking him off to help him ride out the rest of his high.

You watched him, transfixed by his heaving chest, eyes screwed shut, the beads of sweat pearling across his torso, and the red blush that had spread from his face down to his neck. You’d done this. You’d gotten Jihoon in such a state. You let him rest for a bit as you wiped your hands and his body with a tissue and had a sip of water.

You then pressed a kiss to his cheek, taking the time to admire his smiling face. When he opened his eyes and found yours, you suddenly felt so shy that you returned to your usual cuddling position, head resting against his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to him. You were both smelly and sticky, but you couldn’t care less.

“You did so good, baby. You did such a good job,” he whispered, the praise going right to your heart.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. That was amazing.” He sighed contentedly, then lowered his head to look at you. “You feeling sleepy?”

You shook your head no, a shy smile on your lips.

Jihoon smirked slightly. “You wanna keep going?”

You nodded.

He shifted himself so that his back rested against the headboard. “Come here,” he whispers, pulling you to his lap. You both winced in sensitivity at the feeling of your core right against his softening dick, but you didn’t want to pull apart either. If anything, the small stimulation created a pit in your lower stomach for the second time of the night.

You wrapped your arms lazily around his neck while he rested one of his hands on your hips and used the other one to rub your back. “How are you feeling?” he asked, eyes soft and full of affection.

You pressed a long, gentle kiss to his lips. “Good. Really good,” you said, making him chuckle.

“Good. Me too.”

You made out lazily, lips moving languidly against each other, neither of you in a rush to get anywhere. But after some time, you started to feel Jihoon hardening under you, and when you rocked your hips against him, coating his growing erection with arousal, he groaned. His hands traveled down to your ass, grabbing hard at the skin there as he helped you rock back and forth against him. You started out slowly at first, moaning every time your clit brushed against his tip, but it wasn’t long before you sped things up and lost yourself in pleasure once again. Your arms tightened their hold around his neck and, burying your face in his neck, you pressed your chest flush to his and muffled your moans against his skin, in both pleasure and frustration at having him right against you but not inside.

You suddenly lifted your head, and the look on your face made Jihoon instantly stop. “Is everything okay, baby?”

You nodded, but your worry was still evident in the crease of your brows. “Yeah, I just…” You pouted. “I’m scared it’ll hurt, Hoon.”

Jihoon caressed the side of your cheek with his palm, brushing some hair away from your face. “We don’t have to do this today-”

“No!” you exclaimed, taking the both of you aback. “I want to.”

“Okay.”

“I’m just a little bit nervous.”

“Okay. That’s okay, baby.” One of his hands rubbed reassuring circles into your lower back. “We can go as slow as you want, okay? And we can stop whenever you want. Just let me know. Does that sound good?”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, it does.”

Jihoon smiled and pressed his lips to yours. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” you whispered.

He helped you lay on your back against the mattress and hovered over you, propping himself up on one forearm. As he kissed you, he caressed one of your thighs, hand inching closer and closer to your core and making your blood rush with anticipation. Then he finally pressed two fingers to your folds, gathering up some of your arousal 

before sliding his digits inside of you. As you gasped out in pleasure, his lips trailed away from your lips and found a new home in your neck.

He scissored his fingers inside of you, stretching you out and getting you ready for him as he murmured words of “you’re doing so well” and “I’ll make you feel good,” as if he wasn’t already. When you seemed relaxed enough, he slid his fingers out of you, smiling at you mischievously while he sucked your arousal off of them. Then, taking his dick by the base, he rubbed his tip along your folds, making your body twitch and loud moans escape your mouth. He pressed a final kiss to your cheek and buried his face in your neck, trying to ground himself too as he slowly started pushing himself inside of you.

His dick was so much bigger than his fingers, and you gripped his hair tightly as you got used to the new sensation. Tears prickled in your eyes, the unexpected stretch making you frown in discomfort. It was a completely different pain to what you were used to, but the overwhelming pleasure mixed with it made it almost welcome. 

Jihoon was using all of his self-control to not pound you into tomorrow - your tight pussy was sucking him right in, and it was like his whole body sighed of relief when he bottomed out. He couldn’t believe he was inside you, feeling your walls clench around him and hearing your soft grunts as you got used to him. It was a scene right out of his wet dreams. 

“You okay?” he asked, voice muffled against your skin. His voice sounded strained and heavy. 

“I’m okay, Hoonie. I just need a minute.”

For that minute, as you breathed shallowly and relaxed around him, Jihoon pressed wet kisses wherever his lips could reach and twirled one of your nipples between two fingers to take your mind off of your pain. 

“Take your time. I know I’m big, baby,” he said. You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“No, you’re just right, Hoon. It feels nice now.” 

Objectively, Jihoon knew that this was a good thing, and that you had meant in a good way - better for him to fit right inside rather than cause you pain, but a part of his ego had still been hurt by your refutal of his claim. But then you told him he could move, and he forgot all about it.

It took him another superhuman kind of effort to go slow, slowly rolling his hips against yours with a self-control he didn’t know he had. He scanned your face for any signs of discomfort, kissing your small frown in the hope it might go away. He watched as your jaw relaxed and the soft hums escaping your throat turned into moans, as the crease in your eyebrows softened and turned into one of pleasure rather than pain. He allowed his movements to speed up, noting with satisfaction the increasing volume of the noises you were making and the way your fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulders.

He lifted himself on his palms and hooked one of your legs around his hips, the new, deeper angle having you seeing stars. He asked if you were okay again, and when you not only nodded yes, but asked him to go faster, Jihoon had to admit he got a little bit carried away, both in his actions and his words. 

Jihoon had a big mouth - you knew it, everyone knew it. What you didn’t know was that he would keep that big mouth even balls-deep inside you.

Maintaining a fast pace, he lowered himself so that his lips tickled your ear as he spoke. “You’re doing so well, baby. Taking my cock like the good girl you are. Isn’t that right? You’re my good girl,” he grunted, punctuating his words with harsh rolls of his hips into yours. You couldn’t even get yourself to answer, that’s how far gone you were, his words going into your one ear and coming out the other. All you could think about was how good it all felt, from his tip repeatedly hitting that delicious spot inside of you to the feeling of his warm, sticky skin against yours. The room smelled of sweat and arousal and was filled with all sorts of noises - your heavy breathing, your moans, your grunts, the wet sound of Jihoon’s dick inside of you.

“Can’t even say anything, can you? Am I making you feel that good, baby?”

You moaned, thinking that should be enough of a yes for him, but you should’ve known better. 

“I think you should answer me when I ask you a question, Y/N,” he commanded, slowing his pace down to get you to listen to him.

“Y-yes, it feels so good, Hoon,” you replied, out-of-breath.

“Attagirl,” he whispered, smiling as he bit the lobe of your ear. 

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until Jihoon halted in his motions, feeling one of your hot, wet tears on his palm. He was quick to wipe it away, searching for any pain in your features, but you only whined, asking him why he’d stopped. 

“Why are you crying, baby? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” he asked frantically. The worry in his voice only amplified your already overflowing love for him.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, I just… God, this is so embarrassing,” you all but sobbed against his skin, realizing that the pleasure had been so overwhelming, tears had started flowing from your eyes. 

“No, it’s not.”

You screwed your eyes shut for a second before meeting his gaze again. “I just- it feels so good, Hoon.”

A pause passed as he took a deep breath. “Is that it?”

“It is, I promise. Please, just… let’s keep going, Hoonie. I was so close,” you whined, and Jihoon couldn’t help but chuckle at your desperation. How was it that he still found you so adorable even in such a situation?

“Okay, baby. I’m relieved.” He wiped more of your tears that had fallen, but as soon as he moved inside of you again, taking a minute to return to his previous harsh pace, your tears resumed streaking down your cheeks. Jihoon kissed them, savoring their salty taste on his tongue.

It didn’t take long for the knot in your stomach to become tight again, and with every deep thrust, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. 

“You look so pretty like this, sweetheart. All fucked out for me.”

“Mm. I’m so close, Hoon, gonna- fuck, gonna-”

“You’re gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna cum and make a mess all over my cock?”

“Yes, Hoon, fuck-”

You gasped out loud as his hand found your clit again, using his thumb to rub quick circles into the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Cum for me, sweetheart, show me how good it feels.”

That did it for you. Your second orgasm of the night washed over you, making you release your loudest moan yet. You held on to Jihoon like you might fall apart if you didn’t. 

The quick clenching and unclenching of your walls around Jihoon’s dick as he fucked you throughout your high drove him crazy and, soon enough, he came undone himself, hot, white ropes of his cum filling you up. The squelch as he fucked his cum into you, the both of you moaning in overstimulation, was nothing short of pornographic. 

Jihoon all but collapsed on top of you, humming as you traced your fingernails up and down his back. You took a few minutes to collect yourselves, and you thought he might have fallen asleep, soft dick still inside you, when he lifted himself up with a sigh and slid out of you. You winced at the loss of his warmth. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and said he’d be back in a sec. 

When he entered your room again, he was carrying a towel, a tall glass of water, and leftovers from your takeout earlier. He cleaned you off and asked you how you felt, then you chatted as you ate your food. You could pass out at any moment, but it was nice, talking a little bit after the moment you shared instead of falling asleep straight away. 

He almost choked on his water when you asked him where he’d learned to talk so dirty - now that he was out of the moment, his cheeks reddened at the thought of everything he’d told you. “It just comes naturally,” he’d said shyly.

“Do you want anything?” he asked when you were done eating. 

You kissed him, smiling against his lips. “I’m all good, Hoon. You?”

He mirrored your smile. “All good, too.”

“I just wanna cuddle and sleep now. I’m spent.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” he whispered. He laid down on his back and you followed, letting him wrap an arm around your shoulder while you rested your head on his chest. He drew you close to him and pulled the blankets over your intertwined bodies. “Is it creepy if I just stare at you for a little bit?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“But you’re so pretty,” Jihoon pouted.

“I’ll just sleep and pretend I don’t know anything about it.”

“Okay, just don’t panic if you feel a strange but very attractive presence looming over you.”

You snorted. “Noted. Night, Hoon.” You pressed a kiss to his neck and he hummed.

“Night, pretty. Sleep tight.”

--

When you woke up a few hours later, your room was bathing in the bright yellow glow of the early morning. You and Jihoon had shifted positions in the night and you’d ended up curled up on your side, back to him while he slept on his back, arms sprayed out next to him. It was the feeling of him shifting closer to you and wrapping an arm around your waist that had awoken you, a sudden warmth engulfing your body that made you feel like you might still be dreaming.

But no, it was all very real. From the man behind you, to the events of the previous night, to the dull but not unpleasant ache you felt between your legs. You sighed contentedly, taking his hand in yours and wrapping it tighter around yourself. 

Curious to see if he was awake, you turned around after a few minutes and faced him. He seemed pretty passed out until you pressed a soft kiss to his nose, then another to his cheek. His eyebrows creased for a second and his foot moved against yours. He didn’t open his eyes, but he pursed his lips for a kiss. He wasn’t content with just a peck, however, and you found yourself making out with him first thing in the morning, lips full of sleep and cotton-soft like your pillows. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve dreamed of this,” he says after a while, keeping his eyes closed, morning voice sending chills down your spine. “Waking up next to you.”

“You have?”

“I have. I don’t know if I should freak out over this and have a party or just be chill about it,” he said, smiling.

“We can have a party.”

“Really?” Jihoon asked, opening his eyes wide, excited like a kid who was just told they were going to Disneyland.

“Sure,” you giggled. “We can invite all of our friends and celebrate our one-week anniversary or something. Minjeong will probably want to plan it.”

He sighed happily. “I’m holding you to that. We’re celebrating.”

After lazing around in bed for a couple hours, going back and forth between chatting while cuddling and making out, your growling stomachs forced you out of your room and into the kitchen.

You and Jihoon noticed it at the same time. It was hard to miss, after all - a bright pink sheet of A4 paper with hearts and little Cupids everywhere right in the middle of the surface of your fridge, but more importantly, your name and Jihoon’s in big bubble letters with 99% in the middle. You wanted to rip it from the surface of your fridge, but the damage had been done - index pointed at the paper, Jihoon turned to you with an incredulous look on his face. You scratched the back of your neck and looked around the kitchen for a way to escape.

“Y/N, what’s this?” Jihoon asked, amusement laced in his voice.

You tried to find some sort of excuse, but to no avail. “This is just, um- you know, just a, uh, just-” The sound of Jihoon’s cackles interrupted you. You looked at him, unimpressed. “Don’t laugh at me. I was stressing out, okay? I needed something to reassure me.”

Jihoon was grinning wide as he pulled you into a hug, one arm around your waist and one hand on the back of your head. “You’re so adorable,” he mused, pressing a kiss to your hair. You wrapped your arms around his middle and nuzzled your nose against his neck, the comforting scent of his skin making you forget about your embarrassment. 

He leaned away slightly and took the paper off of the fridge, smiling down at it. “As cute as this is, you don’t need it. I’ll show you everyday that I’m the perfect man for you, okay?”

You mirrored his smile. “Okay.” Even when your lips found each other, you couldn’t stop smiling, giggles escaping from your lips into his. You only laughed harder when he started pressing small kisses all over your face, making sure to not miss a single spot. He pressed a final one to your forehead before resting his against it, both of you closing your eyes and relishing in each other’s presence. 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. support your creators by reblogging and leaving feedback!

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr (ask to be removed/added!)

[fandomrose]

Alhaitham - Stress comfort.

Hello. I love this man and I need to sit in his lap while he reads so here this is.

Just fluff, a little suggestive at the end but you can read it as a massage session instead as it's not explicit in what he's implying.

But yea not much to say.

Please enjoy 💙

You return home from another exhausting day. They seem never-ending at the moment. You plod into the house you share with your boyfriend and roommate to find said boyfriend lounging on the sofa reading. He hears your approach, having known you were due to return and removed his soundproof headphones. He puts the book face down on the arm of the chair and beckoning you to join him.

"Your back, come sit." He said simply patting the sofa next to him. You flop down intending to cuddle but he immediately stands and heads to the kitchen. 

"Stay." Is all he says. If it were anyone else you would have berated them for a lack of manners and for being treated like a dog but you knew your lover and you knew that was just how he spoke. With the least effort necessary. (Unless he's waxing poetic in a language you've never heard about your body and attitude after a passionate encounter. But that's for him to know.)

You sigh and sink into the large sofa and wait like he said, too tired to get up. You look around and note the book isn't one he'd typically read. It was a fantasy novel... one from your childhood that you mentioned brought you comfort to read. It wasn't the best written or the most original story but you loved it and now he was reading it. It touched your heart and you couldn't help but feel the stress alleviate to make room for love from your boyfriend.

As you were silently swooning about Alhaitham he returns with a cup of something herbal smelling and a plate of food. 

"Here, a tea specially blended for your relaxation and palette and dinner. You've been working far too hard lately and since work has been easy on me since being willfully demoted back to scribe. It's the least I can do."

You chuckle and smile up at him taking the tea while he sits down with the plate in one hand, wrapping his free arm around you and stroking your shoulder with his thumb.

Casual intimacy was difficult for you both at first. With you desiring it but not knowing how to go about it and Alhaitham thinking he'd hate it. But the two of you figured it out and now he loves touching you and being close, during hot days it's not unusual that he will refuse to cuddle but he'll stretch out a foot to put on your leg, always touching you in some way. 

You were swooning again but trying not to make it obvious and inflate his ego more. But when you chance a look at his face he had a small smirk and a cocky look in his eyes. He could read you like an overly complicated 347 page philosophical thesis on silent languages.

"Thank you Alhaitham, this means a lot already."

"Hm you don't need to say it, I can see how grateful you are. You're an open book to me. I'm just glad it's helping, even if I knew it would." 

"Ttsh, arrogant ass" you say with nothing but love in your voice. In response he chuckles and squeezes you with his arm.

"Now, now, is that any way to treat your extremely generous and caring lover?" 

You sip your tea dramatically, "you know I mean it with love darling."

"Hmm, yes of course you are head over heels for me. You love this arrogant ass. How could you not." You sigh, meaning to sound faux annoyed but it just sounded blissful instead. He was only this dramatic and faux arrogant with those he truly cared for.

"Indeed how could I not-" In a smooth move you take his hand from your shoulder and press a kiss to the back of it before placing it back on your shoulder. You hear him chuckle in a way that makes your heart flutter. He kisses the top of your head before picking up his book again.

"Come on eat, you'll need the energy."

You could feel your face heat at the implications and you can just imagine his smug face. So you decide to play innocent.

"Why? The day is almost over."

He chuckles again and squeezed your shoulder. "Because someone looks like they could use some stress relief. If someone wants of course. If not we can skip straight to the bath."

You chuckle and sigh. "'Stress relief' hmm? That does sound nice."

"Then stress relief it is my كنز. Then the bath, you'll need it. Now eat L'amour de ma vie." 

"Alright alright love" you quickly eat, ready for what sounds like the best evening in a while. Moments like this remind you that no matter what happens during the day, your loving boyfriend will be there for you.

[neomujinjja]

Personal Heaven

Pairing: Doyoung x reader

Length: 400 words Genre: request, fluff, slight suggestiveness

Warnings: doyoung's pov, kissing (lots of it), mentions of thighs, mentions of grazing skin, the word hickies, talking about sucking/biting/nipping, one mention of grinding, grinding/humping in general

Synopsis: Reader just wants to film the lipstick stain trend that's going around amongst couples on tiktok. But Doyoung can't get enough of your lips and kisses.

Note: I'm really hoping that the anon who requested this enjoys it! I'm not sure if I exactly got the right mixture of fluff with suggestions but hopefully you like it either way 🫣

── ⋆⋅ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ⋅⋆ ──

If this wasn't heaven then Doyoung didn't know what was. Nothing seemed better than having his partner on his lap and kissing all over his face. Doyoung let out a sigh as Y/N moved his head further back. They kept their hands on his neck as they pressed a kiss onto Doyoung's jaw. He moved his hands up their thigh in a slow manner.

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked with a teasing tilt to their voice. They took Doyoung's hands into their own. The male hummed as he did circles with their intwined hands.

"Nothing" Doyoung replied with a smile. He pulls Y/N while sitting up to meet in the middle. Deepening the kiss, Doyoung placed his hands onto their waist. He pulled them closer, needing to get closer to Y/N. Doyoung's fingers wiggled their way inside of the other's shirt. "My turn" he breathed out before attacking their neck. Doyoung sucked and nipped, encouraged by the sounds coming from his partner. The male's lips left a mark in its trail everywhere they touched. Grinding up as he guided their hips down, Doyoung breathed heavily into Y/N's neck. Flipping the two of them to the side, he feverly kissing them once again.

"You know" Y/N starts, pausing to gasp as Doyoung sucked on a particularly sensitive spot. "This is not what I had in mind when I asked to do this" they continued. An airy laugh escaping from them. Doyoung laughed as well, resting his head in the crook of Y/N's neck.

"Couldn't help it. I can't get enough of you" he whispered before pecking Y/N's skin.

"Doyoung!" His partner giggled, moving to be able to look at said boy. Doyoung felt his heart flutter when Y/N smiled at him. Their lips red and swollen from the couple's actions. Leaning forward, he connected their mouths together again for a long peck. A sigh left Doyoung's mouth, alongside a whispered 'I love you', as they separated. Y/N's smile grew wider while their heart squeezed from happiness. And Doyoung did not complain about the umpteenth kiss that followed.

★ Bonus ★

The purple and red hickies spread around Y/N's neck did not escape the eye of viewers. Comments under the tiktok teasing the couple about it. It didn't bother the two, Doyoung proudly admitting as Y/N confidently displayed them.

[nonranghaes]

junghwan's hands steady your own now, and they're warm. he lowers the bag of doughnuts you're holding out for him. "it's okay. you can say it outright."

junghwan's always been the sweetest of the friends you have, and even though you're on the verge of tears now, he's still gentle with you. this was a stupid idea. why did you let jeongwoo talk you into this? you knew of his love of sweets, hence the glazed doughnuts you brought for him.

"i..." your throat is threatening to close up out of anxiety. "happy birthday, junghwan."

he chuckles. "thank you. is that all?"

was this really the shy boy you fell for? he warmed up to you overtime, and now he's lovingly teasing you. you shake your head, but your words won't come out still. why can't you just say it? you said you'd do it today because jeongwoo said you should. which... has to mean that jeongwoo knows something you don't, right? you feel tears brim your eyes, anxiety swallowing you whole, and junghwan gently squeezes your hand.

"it's okay. say it and i'll say it back." his voice is softer now. when did he get so mature, too? you'd heard stories of him getting shy with a girl who confessed to him once. yet he's standing here with you as if it's easy. is it you...? or has he grown? you wish you had the answer.

"how are you so calm right now?" you look up. "you aren't scared to say it?" and when he shakes his head, you take a deep breath. "junghwan... i like you."

"i like you, too." he says as if its the easiest thing in the world. "it's easy because it's you," he says. "can i...?"

you think he's going to kiss you. instead, he leans in, kissing your forehead before accepting the bag from you. they're from his favorite place, and his eyes light up a little with recognition and glee.

he takes one of your hands in his own. "there's a nice place in the park. we can share these, if you want..."

and he's back to being shy, face turning redder by the second. maybe it was the forehead kiss that was too much for him. but you curl your fingers around his palm, and nod. "i'd like that a lot."

[jinisnuggets]

Thanks to the anon who rquested the doyoung smut 🥵🥵🥵 and thankyou for writing it 💖💕💗💜💖🖤❤️ now I can never get enough of doyoung Arggghh!!! can you make another one for doyoung but this time he's the dom 😩

𝑨 𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝑺𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒆

ᴾᵃⁱʳⁱⁿᵍˢ: ᴰᵒʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ ˣ ᶠᵉᵐ! ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

ᵂᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ: ¹.⁵ᵏ

ᴳᵉⁿʳᵉ: ˢᵐᵘᵗ

ᵂᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ: ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ, ˢᵘᵍᵍᵉˢᵗⁱᵛᵉ, ᵘⁿᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ˢᵉˣ, ᵘⁿᵖʳᵒᵗᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ˢᵉˣ.

ˢʸⁿᵒᵖˢⁱˢ: ᵂʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˢᵏᵉᵈ ᴰᵒʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˢʰᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃ ⁿᵉʷ ˢⁱᵈᵉ ᵒᶠ ʰⁱᵐ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ʰⁱᵐ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ ˢᵒ ˡⁱᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ, ᵗʰⁱᶜᵏ ᶜᵒᶜᵏ ᵈᵒʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ, ᵉⁿᵈˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉʷʰᵃᵗ ᵒⁿ ᵃ ᶜˡⁱᶠᶠ ʰᵃⁿᵍᵉʳ..?

ᴬ/ᴺ: ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᵃⁿᵒⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰⁱˢ, ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃ ᶠᵉʷ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃ ᶠᵉʷ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈˢ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵖᵃˢˢᵉᵈ ʰᵉʳᵉ ⁱᵗ ⁱˢ, ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʷᵃⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ 🙏

You were at dinner with your boyfriend Doyoung, it was a special occasion since it was your 4th anniversary as a couple and you were glad that you both had made it so far since the beginning.

“Cheers!” You both said at the same time as you took a sip of the wine that intertwined in your fingers. Neither of you were big drinkers, but tonight was an exception and you figured one glass wouldn't hurt.

“Four years huh?” you muttered, leaning against the table with the wine in your grip, your long black dress brushing against the floor as he responded.

“Crazy how fast time flies. It feels like just yesterday since I was looking at you from afar and only ever had fantasies of dating you.” He chuckled a bit, recalling the old times, rolling your eyes, you slightly hit his leg with your heel as he let out a dramatic cry.

“That did not hurt!”

“It did a little!”

“I barely hit you!?”

At that point he was just teasing you. Every anniversary he took you out to a fancy dinner date, making you go in search of a brand new dress every year upon the mention of it. You loved seeing Doyoung wear a suit, looking tidy and professional, it was one of your favorite sights and made you think of Doyoung as something more than just your boyfriend.

And sometimes, it felt that way too…

So when you left the restaurant and walked over to the familiar car in the parking lot, you only thought of Doyoung as something more like your husband, although you both were still young it felt about right to refer to him with that title rather than boyfriend.

“I'm full-” Doyoung muttered, letting out a sigh after buckling his seatbelt and leaning back on his chair.

“Me too, I think we ate too much…” you chuckled, too tired to reach out to find your own seatbelt. Silence filled the car until he ultimately came near the steering wheel and turned on the air conditioner, you picked at your belt until you heard the familiar click.

“Do you wanna stop by a lookout before I drop you off? I think it'd be nice to catch up a bit before heading home.” He asked you, looking at you with the most heartwarming smile despite the darkness of the barely illuminating moon. “I think that'd be nice, to get to know some new sides of you that you possibly haven't shown me yet.” you smiled back, before glancing back at the window and leaning against the shoulder rest.

“I don't think there's anything you haven't seen of me.” Doyoung replied, taking his view away from you and looking upfront to the road.

“There must be something, I wanna get to know a new Doyoung tonight, I think you could show me one.”

He stayed silent, unsure of what to respond with, he didn't know whether your sentence had some sort of suggestiveness or whether it was a fully innocent comment, nevertheless, he only had one thing in mind, one singular side of himself that he couldn't recall ever showing you.

And well… maybe tonight would be the day he'd meet a new side to himself as well.

—————

You arrived at the empty sight and kept yourself awake, slowly drooping your head over to the side before picking it up again.

“Hey, you said you wanted to see a new side of me, don't fall asleep now.” Doyoung teased, you heard the driver side door open, it was when you finally lifted your head and turned to face Doyoung’s side of the car, noticing him open the back seat door before sitting down.

“What are you doing?” You questioned.

“Come, I think it'd be better to talk like this, we'd be more comfortable along with being more available to physical touch.”

He was right, you didn't wanna fall asleep on the day that was supposed to be special for the both of you, so you opened the passenger side door and brought yourself to the back, sitting down next to your boyfriend who rushed you into a hug.

“What was that for..?” You giggle lightly, not trying to make so much noise in the quiet setting, the low music playing in the background really helped set the tone, quiet, and relaxed music was perfect for something like this, not to mention the beautiful scenery.

“Just wanted to hug you.” He responded.

You nodded and hugged him back, feeling his arm tug on your dress strap lightly, enough to make it slide off your shoulder and onto your arm.

“I'm sorry for keeping you for so long, you probably wanna get home and take off this dress. I bet it's uncomfortable.”

“I can always make time for you.” You sighed, responding to his comment. You truthfully enjoyed every moment you got to spend with Doyoung, so despite the tight dress somewhat cutting your oxygen levels, you wanted to make sure that he knew you didn't mind spending more time with him and to not feel guilty.

And you weren't sure if he got the message… or got it the wrong way.

Both of your dress straps slipped off of your shoulders, replaced by the feeling of two hands rubbing against your back and pulling you closer.

Before you knew it you were sitting on his lap, the familiar lips that normally made contact with your own now sucking onto your right collarbone. Doyoung transferred messages and signals through those few seconds that his lips came in contact with your body, however you weren't sure if you read his messages correctly or if you were just fantasizing.

Because the only sentence you received were those seven words, followed by the next seven words, and your suspicions were only confirmed when he muttered-

“I want more than what we have.”

Groans escaped from your mouth as he passionately kissed you, more aggressive than you were used to, your eyes were shut as you felt your dress be lifted and expose your undergarments, he rubbed you, massaged and made sure to make you feel good.

“And you're gonna give it to me…”

“Doyoung - calm down please, I didn't mean this when I said I wanted to see another side of you..! Isn't this too fast?”

“I've waited four years Y/n…”

He silenced you with another kiss, biting your bottom lip and beginning to ask for your permission to enter. You granted it but he quickly overpowered you with his tongue, making you let out a cycle of moans.

“So wet for me already, keep doing that and I'll make you feel better.”

“Doyoung… let's not do this please-”

“Come on Y/n- you know you want this just as much as I do…”

His hand traveled under your undergarment, beginning to finger you, opening you up more and making room for himself.

“Doyoung - if we're gonna do this, at least expose yourself to me too… this is unfair and embarrassing..”

“Patience, love.. patience…”

It was a funny statement, how could you be patient in a situation like this? How could you be calm in this situation when every little move he pulled on you just made you wetter than you already were, and it was quite humiliating.

Your back touched the bottom of the cushion, as he slowly topped you. His features came into light as the moon reflected its light onto his face… that pure stare that you used to look at and think as innocent, you couldn't believe someone like Doyoung had been fantasizing about something like this for as long as four years.

His fingers rubbed against you as your zipper slowly came undone, back becoming exposed and sleeves rolling off your arms.

It was truly relieving to have the dress off, you had been so focused on looking good for the date that you forgot about the basic rules, you let out a breath of relief, feeling better upon the feeling of the fabric lifting up from your skin and sliding off your body.

“You don't need to wear these things to look pretty… you already are gorgeous to me, so please don't wear anything that makes something so simple like breathing difficult. You could show up in your pajamas and I'd still be kneeling down and stuttering over my sentences by your beauty.”

He brought his hand down to his pants, taking his belt off of his waist and pulling down his zipper, exposing his hardened dick that did nothing but twitch upon the feeling of fresh air brushing against it.

“You arouse me so much, you have no idea what you do to me…”

He pulled his boxer off of his dick, making it slam against his torso, and although it was dark, you could tell he was thick, his girth was impressive and it made your heart flutter. Making you more excited for the upcoming activities.

“You're excited all of a sudden, are you sure you can handle it?”

“Don't tease me, I can only try..”

He smirked, his gaze only shifting down as he lined himself up with you, putting his tip against your wet entrance and pushing it in and out of you while still staying at your surface.

“I like that answer.”

[hinaaspanda]

wait for me, okay? | s.jh

pairing: brother's best friend! so junghwan x fem reader warnings: swearing, alcohol genre: brother's best friend, uni au, fluff!! and a smidge of angst wc: 9.4k

You couldn't help but baby So Junghwan—your brother's best friend who just happened to be one year your junior—all your life. That was, until Junghwan abruptly stopped talking to you once you began high school. You learned to move on eventually, but all your efforts were put to the test in your second year in university when an all grown up Junghwan enrolls in your school!

a/n: hi!! im back with another fic hehe, this time featuring my treasure bias Junghwan! been meaning to post for awhile but real life is so hjsfhdjgfabsjg yk anyways enjoy!!

2013. 07. 10

“Junghwanie? What’s wrong?”

Jungwhan could barely look up at you. You watched the boy’s shoulders slump over as he sat on the wood surface, feet bleakly swinging in the air. Dirt and grass littered and stained his knees and elbows.

“Some older kids took my soccer ball—they called me a twerp, too.” Tears welled up in Junghwan’s eyes. It made your heart sink. You jumped up to sit beside him as Junghwan sniffled, snot running down his nose. “Jeongwoo’s trying to get it back for me.”

Your eyes narrowed, watching the older boys further down the field. Two of them kicked the ball between them, while a third held your twin brother by the head in a rough noogie. Seeing it all made your blood boil, your fists shake. Your mom told you about bullying before; how you should never do it, and how you should always help others if they’re being bullied. Your fists balled up tighter and tighter. You needed to help Junghwan. 

You glanced down at your tiny fists. What could you do? You couldn’t do anything. You were just a weak kid. 

An idea spurred in your mind. You scooted closer to the boy beside you. Fiddling with the pink, frilly fabric, you slowly slid off the elastic hung snug against your wrist Maybe you couldn’t fight off some scary middle schooler, but you could at least do this. 

“Here,” You hovered the pink scrunchie in front of Junghwan, a small smile lining your lips as you faced him. “You can have this. Maybe this will cheer you up.”

Junghwan’s eyes widened. “Your scrunchie—isn’t this your favourite?”

“I know, but it makes me happy—hopefully it makes you happy, too!” A grin stretched across your face. 

Junghwan gulped, head still hanging low. His face flushed into a deep red as his eyes flit back and forth between you and his feet. The redness spread onto the shell of his ear as he hid his face beneath his dirtied forearm. 

“Thanks, y/n.” Junghwan finally smiled, your chest sinking in relief. 

2024. 08. 20

“Did we leave anything in the car?” Jeongwoo’s exhaustion spilled through his voice as he cradled his neck with both hands. 

“Don’t think so,” Sweat beaded from his temples as Junghwan hunched forward, gently dropping the cardboard box at his feet. He straightened up, using a forearm to wipe his forehead, pushing back his hair in the process. Junghwan turned to you, an awkward smile lining his lips. “Did you see anything, y/n?”

“Nope.” you pursed your lips, fiddling with a loose piece of tape on one of Junghwan’s miscellaneous boxes—a box you sat on as you unloaded Junghwan’s belongings into his new dorm. 

“Thank fuck,” Jeongwoo heaved a very sigh before plopping onto Junghwan’s new bed, treating it like his own.

So Junghwan—your brother’s best friend, and the youngest of you three—was on his way to begin a new chapter in his life; university. And now, Junghwan was moving to an entirely different city in order to attend university; your university, to be exact. 

He was moving away from his best friend, and moving closer to you—a peculiar set up, considering how far you two had drifted within the past few years. 

So Junghwan was a staple in your life during your childhood. It was you, him, and your brother against the world. The three of you didn’t need anyone else as you went on your daytime adventures to the neighbourhood playground; spending your measly allowance on snacks and sweets from the convenience store down the road from your homes; running away from the dreaded reality of chores and homework. 

Even if the boys were closer, it didn’t stop you from cherishing your friendship with Junghwan; You’d always tag along whenever Jeongwoo would visit his house, you'd bring extra snacks to school just for him. He felt the same, always welcoming you with a warm smile. You babied him, spoiled him silly. He was a year your junior, after all—how much he contrasted against your mischievous, prankster brother didn’t help, either. He was the only one of your brother’s friends you genuinely cared for. 

Once you entered highschool, however, the distance between you two only grew. Junghwan talked to you less, reserving all his attention to girls in his class and your own brother. Soon enough, the childhood trio you grew up with began to dissolve, fade away—leaving the infamous duo, and you in its wake. 

You decided to just shrug it off, opting to focus on your own life, your own friendships. Maybe he got tired of you. Maybe it was just a part of growing up.  

Maybe you were just the girl who babied him too much.

Which brings you back to the present, in which you were helping Junghwan move into his university dorm. Not because you were friends, but because you so happened to be the only one in the area. 

“Think I’m gonna head out.” Jeongwoo abruptly huffed out, shaking you back to reality. In one swift movement, Jeongwoo slid his car keys off the wood of the desk and looped them around his finger. Rising up at the foot of Junghwan’s mattress, Jeongwoo spun the clanking metal around before catching it with the rest of his hand. Junghwan followed suit, arms automatically up and out for your twin brother. 

You watched as the boys hugged and said their goodbyes. You couldn’t help but smile at the heartwarming sight. For second, it made you forget about this very very awkward set up. 

“Bye, loser,” Jeongwoo hummed into the crook of your neck as you hugged your brother goodbye. You glanced up, your eyes making contact with Junghwan’s frame. Your eyes trail up, noticing Junghwan’s eyes flit away from what looked like your direction, and his adam’s apple erratically bobbing up and down. You furrow your brows, taking note of the redness spreading over the curve of Junghwan’s ear. 

With a slam of the door, Jeongwoo was gone—and only then did your entire body freeze. 

You and Junghwan stood stagnant in the middle of his cramped dorm room. Awkward silence filled the air—filling your lungs and suffocating your chest. That's what you told yourself, anyway. You totally weren’t finding excuses to not talk to the boy you haven’t talked to in years. Totally. 

Only now have you gotten a proper chance to really look at Junghwan; really capture how much he's changed since you last saw him. This was probably his third growth spurt by now, with the way his figure towered over you. You studied the way his chestnut hair fell gently below his eyes, and how it was parted not at the middle, but slightly to the left. You caught a few glimpses of his broad shoulders—his built frame peeking through his campus sweater. You pinched yourself. Who cares if Junghwan grew up a little?

You cleared your throat. No. No matter how awkward all this was, how rocky your history was; you still needed to be strong, reliable. Junghwan was still your junior, after all. 

“So, you excited?” you wanted to slap yourself. What kind of question was that?

“Yeah,” Junghwan hummed a chuckle, maybe out of pity. You weren’t sure. “A little nervous, though.”

“Why? ‘Cause of classes?” You were just trying to make conversation, but maybe a part of you was concerned. Old habits die hard, anyway. 

Junghwan paused for a few long seconds, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Right. Classes.”

Your eyes furrowed at his weird, hesitant tone, but you brushed those thoughts away. You shine a bogus smile his way—the brighter the smile, the more convincing the lie. “Well, you can always ask for help!”

Junghwan hummed another smile—this time softer, more fragile. More genuine. His eyes never daring to let go of your frame. It made you insanely self aware of your own skin, your own being. You were being read like a book; though you doubt it was much of a page turner. You instinctively shield your torso with your crossed arms.

“It’s good to see you again, y/n.”

You stammered over his words, his very unexpected words. “Oh, uh, you too.”

Another blanket of silence fell on top of you, giving you ample time to reset; to compose yourself from the mess you were becoming. You cleared your throat, eyes darting straight towards the window. Junghwan, meanwhile, tucked both hands in his back pockets, eyes doing all they can to avoid your line of sight, as he sucked in air through his pursed lips. 

“I guess I should head out, too—”

Junghwan pivots to you, hurried. 

“Actually—I do have a favour to ask.”

“He asked you for a campus tour?” Your friend Winnie asked before popping a comically large cheeto in her mouth. Her munches and crunches filled the air of your shared apartment as you sunk into the couch—utterly defeated. 

“And I said yes,” You whined into the fabric of your throw pillow. 

Winnie only giggles, popping another chip and munching happily. “Girl, relax. You’re literally the only person he knows right now. Better to go with you than be lost on the first day.”

You grumble. You hated how level-headed she was. “But everything’s gonna be so awkward. We haven’t talked in years—”

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward,” Winnie shrugs. 

You could only groan. Winnie was right, you were being dramatic. So what if So Junghwan suddenly trudged back into your life, after leaving without a trace. You should be totally normal about this. 

You slap yourself back to reality as you roll your limp body over, finally catching your breath after covering your face with the pillow. You flit your phone open, fiddling with the first arbitrary app you come across. Winnie does the same before her voice peaks up again. 

“So, what about Eunhyeok?”

Your ears barely drown out the looped audio of the internet video plastered on your phone screen as your mind draws to a blank. “...Who?” 

Winnie’s eyebrow cocks to the sky. “Eunhyeok. The guy from social econ last year? Mr. ‘first talking stage in forever?’”

Your eyes widen. Right. Your mind has been so occupied with the new school semester starting and helping Junghwan move cities that you completely forgot about your date next week with Kwon Eunhyeok —a guy you only shared 

one (1) class with before finding him on a dating app last month. You heave a sigh, leaning back on the plush of the couch as more weight has been added to the boulder of burden on your shoulders. 

“Don’t tell me Mr. "Freshman’s’ got you all distracted, now.” Winnie teased, a stupid grin contaminating her face. You roll your eyes. “Oh, shut up.”

“My girl’s the main character of a love triangle, ooh!” Winnie pestered, belting a laugh as you groaned in response, making your way towards the kitchen. You swing the fridge door open, letting the cool air refresh you as you reach in to grab a can of soda. Maybe that would alleviate the burning rush of your cheeks. 

Would it stop your erratic heart beat, too? 

“Over here is the campus gym,” Winnie jutted her finger towards the building on her right, large windows showcasing the different gym equipment scattered all over the floor. Her arm then pivoted, pointing straight towards the open bed of grass, basking in the afternoon sun. “This is the field—it’s supposed to be where the teams practice, but really students come here when they wanna skip.” 

You and Junghwan, at opposite ends of Winnie's shoulders, laugh timidly. You knew you had to give Junghwan a tour today, but you also knew you needed some kind of assistance. It was the only way you'd come out of this alive, sanity unharmed. So, you let Winnie take the lead, letting yourself hide in the sidelines. 

“That being said, I better not catch you here!” Winnie jabbed a finger towards Junghwan’s chest, to which he responded by holding up both hands in surrender, eyes flitting back to you for a split second. “Yes, ma'am!”

“Hey, y/n!” a voice closely trailed behind Junghwan’s boom of a voice. The voice was faint, as if it was carried and coddled by the wind. Filtered through the breeze. Nevertheless, you could tell it was coming from the direction of the field. Your head shot up towards the air, your eyes landing on a small huddle of guys at the centre of the grass. The one in the middle rolled a soccer ball between his foot and the grass, while the other two kicked at the grass, hands shoved deep in their pockets. As you walked closer to the field, the man in the middle began to look more and more familiar. It was Kwon Eunhyeok. 

Eunhyeok had a cheeky grin plastered on his face as he waved his hand in a ‘come here' motion. “You wanna play?”

You couldn't help but furrow your brows. You've never told him anything about liking or playing sports—because you definitely didn't. “Um…”

“It's 2v2, but we need one more player. Wanna join?” 

You hugged your shoulders, looking around aimlessly. Though really you were just looking for an apt escape. “I dunno—”

“I'll do it.”

Everyone’s heads snapped towards the timid freshman, who’s voice had finally spoken up after staying quiet for an abnormally long time. One hand lazily in the air while the other fiddled with belt loops in his pants. Silence swiftly fogged over the group as the boys looked at each other. 

“You don't have to,” you tried to butt in. You didn't want to bother him with this, nor did you even want to stay out here any longer.

Besides, the idea of Junghwan and Eunhyeok interacting shot a weird feeling down your stomach.

“I’ll be fine,” Junghwan shot a quick yet soft smile at you, and you gulped; his eye smile suddenly making you feel the need to drink water. Slowly, Junghwan slid off the straps of his backpack and dropped it onto the grassy field, his black zip up hoodie quickly following suit. You unfortunately took note of his newly revealed short sleeves—not too tight, yet not too loose—and, now, you really wished you had some water on you.

When you snap back to reality, the boys make their decision, welcoming the freshman into their group easily. “Alright, man. Let’s play!”

The breeze was cold against your skin. 

You sat dead centre of the vast campus quad, knees tucked in against your chest, your chin hammocked on your knuckles as they clung onto your kneecaps. You weren’t exactly sure why you stayed to watch those boys play soccer. Heaven knows you didn’t enjoy it, and Winnie wasn’t even around anymore. Instead, she was allowed to hide away in the safe haven of her evening class. Lucky.

You glance up, eyes latching onto Junghwan, who was currently locked in the game. His back was hunched over as he clung onto his knees, sweat pooling on his shirt. 

You weren’t exactly sure why you stayed, but something in you told you to stay—and your body obeyed like a puppet to its strings, apparently.

Junghwan doesn’t wait long. A few seconds later, he’s back with the main group, tossing the soccer ball and pushing the tall blades of grass beneath it. Nevertheless, your eyes linger— stupidly so. They linger as his hair flies against the wind, brushing entirely away from his face. They watch Junghwan’s broad shoulders practically shining through his supposedly loose t-shirt, the way his back tensed beneath each and every movement. You watch his muscles flex as he ran to the ball. You gulp. Has he been working out that much since you last talked? 

A huge smile swipes across his face, his eyes lost in the crescent moons of his eye smile. Your heart skips a beat. 

You choke. You didn’t find Junghwan attractive, did you? 

You wonder where that cold breeze went. It would’ve been helpful in calming down your skin—which was currently being lit on fire. 

“HEADS!”

The boom of Eunhyeok’s voice shook you to reality *thank god*. The ball had seemingly lost control, soaring through the air like a deadly shooting star. Everyone else had already run to take cover. their arms enveloping their heads in makeshift helmets. All except one; Junghwan, who was now standing still in the middle of  the field, facing you. Too bad the ball was, in fact, heading in his direction. 

THWACK!

The ball struck head first against Jungwhan’s, well, head. The taut rubber smushed Junghwan’s nose, definitely bruising something. It sent the poor freshmen straight to the ground, blades of dead grass shooting up into the sky upon impact. 

The boys only stood around in shock, only taking a few steps towards Junghwan’s body. You, on the other hand, sprinted towards him. You weren’t sure why, but it felt like second nature. You helped the freshman gently sit up into a sitting position, immediately scanning his face and head for prominent and dangerous injuries. Aside from some scratches and light bruising along his cheeks, there was nothing. You rolled out a sigh of relief. 

“Hi,” Junghwan peeked through his fallen bangs, voice soft and timid.

“Hi,” your lips curled into a smile without realising, your mind suddenly forgetting all your recent qualms of late. “I have a first aid kit at my place, should we stop by?”

Junghwan sucked air through his teeth sharply, eyes crinkling shut as he winced from the pain of the ointment. You felt his large hands cling onto your wrists, desperate for you to stop the torture. However, you could tell Junghwan was still restraining himself from using his full strength on you. 

“Ouch!” Junghwan yelped. Again. 

“How does this hurt more than the ball?” 

Junghwan pauses, cheeks suddenly turning rosy. “It burns, okay!”

You only sigh. “I’m almost done, anyway. Just stay still.”

You bickered back and forth. It was odd. This was the most you talked to So Junghwan in over 3 years—but it all felt natural. You weren’t sure why.

After Junghwan finally decided to comply, you finished the last of ointment application, and sealed each wound with a bandaid. Wiping off the excess with a tissue, you let Junghwan go. 

Except he didn’t. He stayed there, face inches away from yours as you sat on the plush of your bed. Your knees rested against his hip; it was the only way you could balance without the use of your hands. You felt his breath graze against your cheek; short and shallow. It reminded you to breathe. Junghwan gazed up at you, his eyes glistened amidst the ebony skyline shining through your bedroom window—never daring to let your eyes go. 

That familiar odd feeling whirled in your stomach again. 

After clearing your chest, you both bounce away from each other, eyes finally severing their connection. Your feet hung off the edge of the bed while Junghwan rested further back on his outstretched arms. You watched as his hand tensed and relaxed, crinkling the fabric of your bedsheets. 

“There,” you muttered meekly. “You’re all good.”

Junghwan stared blankly, grazing a light finger across his newly patched up wounds. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” you purse your lips. 

Long gone was the laid back, relaxed feeling you had earlier. You stood up from the bed, dragging the bedsheet down slightly before packing up the first aid kit and hiding it away in your closet. 

Even now, you're still the girl that babied him too much. 

Junghwan hung his head low, fiddling with his thumbs before slowly lifting his eyes back up to face you. He hesitated for a bit, lips parted before he remembered to take a breath. A deep breath. 

“You still take care of me, huh? Even after all these years.”

Your eyes grow wide at Junghwan’s words. What was he talking about? Was he referring to all those times back when you were kids? Those moments you swore to forget. Those moments that came hurdling back into your stubborn little brain the moment Junghwan enrolled in your university. 

You purse your lips before uttering softly. “I thought you forgot about that.”

Junghwan softly grins, “How could I?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, your heart bouncing beneath your ribs. It makes a nervous leap, getting stuck in your windpipe. What did he mean by that?

“Well, it’s been a while” You kept your eyes on the evening skyline, each apartment light shining like a star in the night. Nevertheless, you watched Junghwan through your peripheral vision. You watched as his eyes finally let go of your frame, his head once again hanging low. 

“It really has,” Junghwans voice didn’t reach past a whisper. 

The room was enveloped in—you guessed it—awkward silence. You’d think you’d build some kind of immunity to it at this point, but that wasn’t the case. You still managed to suffocate. You turn to fully face Junghwan, whose expression turned flat, stoic. He stood up from the bed, bedsheets leaving an imprint of his frame. 

“Maybe we can restart?” He asks

You blink, gulping once more. So Junghwan—the boy you spent your whole childhood with, the boy who disappeared from your life without a trace. The boy you babied too much. So Junghwan wanted a second chance. 

Your mind thought it was crazy. Too bad you never listened to it. 

“Sure.”

“You’re going on a date?” Junghwan asked, sipping on a juice box he insisted he’d pay for as you trudged your way home. Well, your home, to be exact. Junghwan also insisted he’d walk you and Winnie home after all your classes. Seems like Junghwan was taking this second chance thing seriously. 

“Yeah, and guess what?” Winnie chimed in, as preppy as usual—she was always like this when it came to your love life, though there wasn’t much to report. “It’s with that Eunhyeok guy—the one from the field the other day. You remember him?”

Suddenly, Junghwan’s face turns serious, stoic, as his eyes trail the sidewalk. He sipped until bubbles popped inside his straw. “Yeah. I do.”

You were sandwiched between their two figures, quietly sipping your soda. You raise your hand and wave it frantically. “Can we stop talking about it? It’s not a big deal.”

“Tell me you’re at least a little excited about it?” Winnie tilted her head, her bangs falling over her long eyelashes. You bit your lip, glancing over at Junghwan, whose wide eyes suggested he was curious about this, too. 

“Yeah, I—AH!”

Your undone shoelaces saved you the burden of having to lie. The strings scattered across the pavement, landing right in front of the area you were going to take your next steps. The front of your sneaker had clung onto your other shoe’s laces, causing you to trip on your own two feet—like an idiot. You only wince, squeezing your eyes shut to brace for impact before you hit the ground. 

You’d hit the ground. Any day now. 

But you didn’t. Instead, you felt a force envelope your shoulders and back. Your head hung in the air, your eyes meeting a distorted view of the clouds above. You tense your neck, scouring to find this mysterious force that had caught you out of thin air. A part of you wishes you didn’t. 

Nevertheless, you open your eyes to a worried Junghwan. His arms cradled you against his chest, a hand tightly gripping your bicep. He’s got you hanging in thin air, in a way that resembles tango dancers at the end of their performance. His face was inches away from yours, puffs of his air blowing onto your cheeks—your very warm cheeks.  

“You alright?” Junghwan asked, rather hastily. 

Your mind drew to a complete blank before you could respond. “Uh, um—yeah. I’m good.” 

Junghwan heaved a sigh of relief before standing you up straight—lord knows you were too dazed to do it yourself—and loosening his grip around your shoulders. He avoided your gaze, face painted a blaring red as he dipped down to your feet. Junghwan proceeded to loop his fingers around your loose laces, tying them into pretty double knots; safe and sound. 

“Be careful, okay?” Junghwan gazed up at you, his adam's apple bobbing up and down and his eyes shaking. Your heart was quaking in the confines of your rib cage, like a feral beast trying to escape. You weren’t sure if it was from the near fall from your trip, or if it was from your heart being utterly, terribly, stupid. 

The library was, uncharacteristically enough, loud. 

It was the table beside you, lined completely with utter buffoons of freshman. They had the audacity to play a chaotic card game amidst you and other university students who were desperately cramming for their midterms. They didn’t have a shred of remorse, either. Not even bothering to glance around at the students who were currently giving them death stares. The louder they’d holler or slap their hand on the table, the closer you were to seeing red. 

You grumbled in your seat, thumb clicking at your pen profusely as you held it centimetres before your noticeably blank notepad page. 

“Woah okay, don’t kill them, please,” Junghwan’s voice was laced with worry, understandably—you did consider it for a bit. Junghwan sat beside you, his once laid back figure now hunched forward, his big hand clung onto your tensed wrist. The warmth of his skin was enough to calm you down, apparently. Your head pivots back to Junghwan’s direction, your eyes immediately linking up with his. His face glistened under the golden hour sunlight, acting like the spotlight in a theatre with how it only shined on him. You watched his hair burn a bright auburn, his eyes carried in them a swirl of stars. 

You gulped at the sight, completely forgetting about those annoying freshmen. Or anyone else, for that matter. 

“Whatever,” your hand slips from his grasp quickly, though your skin felt a twinge of coldness, loneliness, after the fact. You clear your throat. “How do you deal with them? I think I’d lose my mind.”

Junghwan gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. A finger tapped at the headphone set that hung snug around his neck. “With these. They’re noise cancelling.”

You turn your head to the front, avoiding Junghwan’s gaze after staring at his oddly chiselled jaw for longer than wanted. “Lucky.”

You glanced back at the rowdy table, still stagnant and unmoving from their loud and aggravating presence. Sure they were still ear piercing, but now you could barely hear them over your beating heart, pounding so loud you could hear it in your ears. 

You sensed some rummaging behind you before you turned around, curiosity getting the best of you. Your eyes are met with a sweetly grinning Junghwan as he pulls off his headphones, adjusts their size, and gently slides them on your head. His hand slides off your head, but not before running a finger through your hair. His smile grows wider. “There, now you can focus.”

Your heart skips a beat as your eyes widen. “What—what about you?”

Junghwan ever so softly flicks your nose with his finger. “Quit worrying about me, already. You deserve to study in peace.”

“Oh,” You gulp again, heart still pounding in your chest. “Thanks.”

You did not find So Junghwan attractive. 

You knew it was redundant to say, but you just wanted to make it clear. So Junghwan was just a friend; A friend you had hung out with more than your other friends in your year, by now. You would study together, walk home together—Junghwan insisted the walk back to his dorm didn’t bother him—and even eat out together. You two even developed a new bond over finding new cuisines to try. 

But all that eating out eventually led to near empty wallets, so you suggested an alternative for this afternoon; cooking. It was high time Junghwan learned how to cook for himself, anyway. 

The two of you stood shoulder to shoulder as you guided the poor, lost freshman on how to properly cut vegetables. The final boss? The yellow onion. 

“What happens when it stings too much?” Junghwan whined, one eye practically glued shut while the other peeked open ever so slightly. Though, that eye was too busy swelling in tears. You giggle as you watch him. 

“You’re just supposed to deal with it, really.” You only shrug as an ailed sound emits from Junghwan’s mouth. 

Soon enough, all the torture food preparation was complete, and the two of you pivoted to face your apartment's kitchen. You heated a pan on the stove, drizzled on oil, and got to work. Junghwan’s head perched over your shoulder, silently watching. 

Thankfully, your silence wasn’t awkward anymore. It was comfortable, easy. You didn’t think it possible, but you and Junghwan were slowly going back to how things were; going back to being best friends. Sparks popped in your chest at that thought.

“Oh—your date’s tomorrow” Junghwan analysed, eyes flitting back and forth between you and the calendar on the corner of your fridge. “How are you feeling?” 

Though a part of you was thankful for the reminder, you couldn’t help but groan. You were already tired of Winnie’s constant berating concerning the first man to go on a date with you since your failed talking stage in your first year—did Junghwan really have to do the same? “I dunno, haven’t given it much thought.”

“Alright, you player,” Junghwan teased, jabbing your shoulder. Maybe he was spending too much time with Winnie; she could be a bad influence on him. “Just another guy on your roster, huh?”

You roll your eyes to the sky—or, really, the exhaust fan above your stove. “Oh, shut up. Don’t act like you and my brother weren’t with different girls every month back in highschool.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Junghwan scoffed. 

“Don’t play dumb,” you jabbed back as you flung your spatula, unaware of the pieces of vegetables flying in the air. “Just ‘cause we didn’t talk, doesn’t mean I didn’t see things!”

Junghwan lifted his hands in the air, like a criminal caught red handed. “I swear! I didn’t do any of that.”

You turned to face him. “Then who were all those girls you'd hang around with on campus?”

Junghwan scratched the nape of his neck. “They were just friends… I’ve actually never dated, or even kissed a girl before.” 

You gulp. Had your perceptions all been wrong? You were positive the reason why Junghwan stopped talking to you in the first place was to make room for more girls in his life. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” Junghwan fiddled with the hem of his apron. “I just never knew how it worked—too lazy to learn.”

You turned off the stove, your brain switching onto a particular idea. It might’ve been sick and twisted, but maybe it was just what you needed. 

“What if I teach you?”

Junghwan’s eyes practically spilt out of their sockets. You didn’t blame him; what you said was crazy. But you had your reasons. You needed to prove that you didn’t find So Junghwan attractive; that you didn’t wanna cross the boundary of best friends with him; that those past moments of your heart slipping up were none other than random flukes—a way for your heart to tell you your love life was too stagnant. 

“You sure?”

You stared up at him, gulping. “I’m no player, but I’ve had my fair share of kisses… maybe we can practise.”

Your words dwindled to the end once you realised how crazy you sounded. Gosh, if you didn’t know any better, you sounded like you were hitting on him. Your stomach churned at the thought. Your cheeks flared up in response. But it didn’t matter, Junghwan was your friend. You were doing this for a reason. For clarity. For closure. 

You did not find So Junghwan attractive. 

Junghwan was almost as red as the tomatoes in your frying pan. “O-okay.”

You were kissing So Junghwan.

Or more accurately, Junghwan was kissing you. 

As you stood in the middle of your living room, basking in the afternoon sunlight, your lips melted into one—easily, you observed. You also observed how soft Junghwan’s touch was. His hand trailed from the shell of your ear after brushing your hair away from your face, to cupping the side of your cheek. The graze of his fingertips sent chills through your skin. His fingers lifted your head ever so slightly, combating your towering height difference. His other hand didn’t even flinch as it stayed at his side; in fear of crossing an unwanted boundary. An odd swirl spun at the pit of your stomach. Your heart tripped and face planted on its two feet. Multiple times.

Wasn’t Junghwan supposed to be bad at this? 

Overwhelmed, you couldn’t muster much movement on your end. All your measly mind could think of was to cling onto his broad shoulders, which were hunched over to reach your frame closer—practically enveloping you. You hated how gentle he was, considering how strong you knew him to be. It was doing weird things to your mind. You clung onto the fabric of his sweater; desperate and confused.  

What was Junghwan doing to you?

After what seems like centuries, your lips finally plop apart. Your figures hesitate to move apart, your breaths both short and shallow—he quite literally took your breath away. Your eyes naturally link with his, a red string of fate hanging in the balance. You really hoped Winnie wasn’t gonna come home anytime soon. A sudden chime of someone’s phone catapulted you back to reality as you jumped away from him. Your eyes avoided his gaze like the plague as your cheeks burned so hot you could cook more of that dish you made earlier. And don’t even get started on your heart beat, your erratic, animalistic heart beat. 

Maybe your little test wasn’t so smart, anymore.

“You–uh,” you stuttered out like an idiot. “You’re pretty good…”

You glance back at Junghwan, who’s red stained cheeks and ears, paired with eyes practically glued to your wooden floor, suggest that he was just as much of a mess as you were. At least there was that. Junghwan clung onto the nape of his neck like a life force. “R-really?”

So Junghwan was the death of you. “Y-yeah. You don’t need my help.”

Awkward silence, your old friend. 

“I–uh,” Junghwan’s voice didn’t reach past a whisper. “I should probably go.”

“Okay,” you replied, grateful for the leeway he was giving your heart. Though, an empty feeling began crawling up your chest, too. You watched as Junghwan scurried out the door, the boom of it shutting barely overpowering the crazy thumps of your heart beat. 

So Junghwan was so cooked. 

He stumbled out of your apartment complex, dazed and confused. His heart clawed profusely at his ribcage, like a feral animal—just itching to jump out and splat on the road. He clenched his chest, lost at a shortness of breath. He thought back to your kiss; your supple lips locked against his. He thought about how you melted into his chest, how your skin felt so warm, it was like he was dreaming. Maybe he didn’t wanna wake up. Scratch that—he wasn’t just thinking about all that. The image was tattooed in his brain, forever. 

He’s done it. He’s officially gone too far. 

Junghwan wasn’t supposed to expose himself so…idiotically. He planned to be more composed, untroubled. Was he just supposed to confess his life long crush on his best friend like a loser? 

You were the love of So Junghwan’s life, the apple of his eye. He’s loved you since you were kids. He loved everything about you; from the way you lit up any room with your smile, to the way you’d always put others before yourself every chance you got. You had him wrapped around your finger; anything you did gave him butterflies. He’s always believed he hit the jackpot the moment he met you.

He also believed he absolutely fumbled that jackpot the moment he distanced himself from you. The more time he spent with you, the more he realised you’d never love him back. You were too busy babying him. In your eyes, Junghwan would never be your equal. So, by the time he entered highschool, he opted to give up. 

Foolishly, he thought he could still keep your friendship as he tried to get over you. Quickly, however, he learnt that it wasn’t possible. Your constant, beautiful presence always sent a punch to his gut, a guilty feeling squeezing at his heart. So he finally decided, it was time to end your friendship, once and for all, even if it meant hurting you in the process. Lord knows it tore his heart into pieces, too.

It also didn’t even work. 

Junghwan didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that he got accepted into the university you happened to be attending. Sure, maybe he was the fool for applying there in the first place last fall, but still. The one thing he did know was that he’d lose his mind the moment he’d see you again. He knew he’d combust the moment you’d look at him with your beautiful eyes one more time. 

Nevertheless, something in his resolve had switched. His chest puffed out, his heart beat faster. With the years of distancing himself from you behind him, Junghwan was a changed man. And he was going to prove it to you. 

Or he was, until he completely fumbled the bag just now.

Trudging home with heavy shoulders, Junghwan rummaged in his sweater pocket, fingers easily finding what it needed to. He pulls out a pink, frilly scrunchie, grazing the soft fabric between his fingertips. The elastic could barely fit over just two of his large fingers, but that didn’t stop him from taking the scrunchie everywhere he went. 

It was the scrunchie from the day he first fell for you, after all.

“Fuck,” Junghwan huffed.

“Sorry I’m late!” Eunhyeok’s voice peaks in your ears, causing you to look up from your phone. He walks up to you, holding a lazy but apologetic hand up in the air. You glanced back at your phone quickly; the time was 3:58—around 30 minutes past your originally discussed meeting time.  

“No worries! I just got here,” You lied anyway. That was custom for first dates, apparently. 

You were meeting up with Kwon Eunhyeok for your very important, once in a lifetime—according to Winne, anyway—date. It wasn’t that you weren’t excited for today. The idea of going on a date for the first time in what felt like ages did excite you, slightly. You allowed yourself to get dolled up a little, too—dawning your favourite maxi shirt and a bow that completely your half up-half down hair look.  

It’s not like you weren’t excited for this date—there were just other things that stubbornly occupied your mind at the moment. 

You didn’t expect Junghwan’s kiss to stay so vivid in your mind for so long. You allowed yourself maybe 30 minutes to properly freak out about how good he kissed you; how he kissed you in a way that made you gut wrench, your head spin. How he kissed you in a way that makes you rethink everything. You were only allowed 30 minutes for all of that. But when you woke up this morning with So Junghwan running in your mind, you knew you were fucked. 

You thought back to the past month with So Junghwan. The boy you grew up with, your brother’s best friend. The man that, in the past month, showed a completely new side of himself, and it was making you go crazy. 

Were you on a date with the wrong person?

“Where we headed first?” Eunhyeok asked, his gaze locked on something behind you as he shoved both hands down his pockets. You gave him a quizzical look. “I thought you said you’d plan everything? I didn’t give it much thought…”

“Oh—right.” Eunhyeok’s voice grew quiet. He picked at his lips, swiping at his phone screen. “Well, I’ll look up some places, I guess. ” 

You wished you could roll your eyes right now. 

After stopping underneath a well shaded tree to look for nice places in the area, the two of you finally went on your way. While your time was eventful—you visited a variety of places, including the trendy and overpriced coffee shop, the park, and dinner at a place he couldn’t stop talking about—you couldn’t muster up any feeling of excitement. Sure you had fun, but this seemed like nothing more than a simple platonic day out. And judging off of Eunhyeok’s laid back, borderline bored attitude, you could guess he felt the same. 

Besides, you still couldn’t shake Junghwan out of your mind. 

The sky was painted a deep orange as you and Eunhyeok walked to the train station. Ribbons of white and pink scattered across the sky, twinges of blue laced at the corners. It was beautiful. You wished Junghwan was here to see it. 

You and Eunhyeok said your goodbyes as you hopped on your respective trains. You weren’t getting a text back from that guy, you knew it. And yet, that didn’t seem to bother you. 

Junghwan was seeing you today. 

Though, it was gonna be painfully one sided—because he wasn’t going to meet with you, no. Instead, he was joining a very hyper Winnie in stalking your date with that Eunhyeok guy. 

To say Junghwan was sceptical about Winnie’s insane and creepy idea would be a deep understatement. FIrstly—and more prominently—he wasn’t even sure if this was legal, let alone a good thing to do. What if someone saw him? Or worse, what if you saw him? Lord knows he's anything but ready to see you after the kiss that stole his breath. Nevertheless, he tagged along. That Eunhyeok guy rubbed him the wrong way, and it was an excuse to see you in a cute outfit. 

“You sure this is a good idea?” Junghwan whispered, face practically smushed into the decorative bush outside the train station. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Winnie whisper-shouted back, her whole figure enveloped by the same bush. “I think I see her!”

Junghwan’s heart pounded in his chest, though he wasn’t sure if it was from being caught by the cops, or by you. God, what if you thought he was some weirdo after this? He’d pass away, actually. 

He took note of what you were wearing; the maxi shirt that made you look like a princess, and the hair bow that completed your royal look. It warmed his heart knowing you still liked hair accessories just as you did as a kid. 

Gosh, you looked beautiful.

Junghwan’s eyes latched onto a figure of a dude slowly jogging to you. His words were inaudible, but the view of your smile in response was enough to make Junghwan’s blood boil. What was so funny? Junghwan gulped. He knew he was funnier, there was no doubt about it. You didn’t even need to go on this date in the first place. 

Winnie adjusted her stance, causing a branch from the bush to move. The Eunhyeok guy’s eyes snap towards his direction as Jungwhan freezes like a deer in headlights. Was he fucked?

Eunhyeok’s eyes linger in the air before finally reaching Junghwan’s. Like an idiot, Junghwan stared back. He was fucked. 

Eunhyeok’s eyes finally flit back to you, mumbling something inaudible again before the two of you walk away. Jungwhan and Winnie follow suit, Junghwan’s heart still pounding in his chest. 

—

“So, how's Junghwan?” Jeongwoo’s voice chimed through the phone. You purse your lips. As if you haven’t been thinking about him enough. You clear your throat, gracing your twin brother with a response. “He’s, uh, good.”

There was a pause on Jeongwoo’s line. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, no, it’s all good.” You realise your double usage of the word ‘good’ makes you sound even more suspicious. 

“What, you guys kiss or something?” Jeongwoo teased, his peculiar words sending your heart into full attack mode. Your heart leaped from your chest, your eyes spilling from your sockets. Your mind flits back to the image of Junghwan, his hand snug against your cheek as he stole your heart like a ruthless burglar.

“WHAT? NO!”

“Jesus, calm down,” Jeongwoo whined. “I was only joking, relax!”

You stayed silent. 

“Unless something actually happened?”

No. Nothing happened. Only So Junghwan, who came crawling back to your life after years, turning into a whole new person, and was turning your world upside down. Junghwan didn’t do anything—he just manages to swirl butterflies in your stomach with his handsome smile and chivalrous ways, make your heart skip multiple beats with his cute jokes and even cuter habits, take your breath away as he kissed you like a man who's been starved to near death.

Nothing happened. You just fell in love with your—and your brother’s—best friend. You heave a sigh. It felt freeing—finally admitting to it.

But it didn’t matter. He was still your best friend. You would die before you told him the truth.

“I gotta go, Woo.” Overwhelmed, you suddenly mumble into the phone. You barely hear his confused reaction as you click the phone off, chest sparking with adrenalin you haven’t felt in awhile. You trudge to your bathroom, in desperate need of a splash of water to refresh yourself and your mind. 

You can’t tell Junghwan. No matter what.

In the corner of your eye, however, you see Winnie skip up towards you a bright smile on her face. 

“Hey,” Winnie twirled a strand of hair between her fingers. “Found a couple packs of beer in the pantry. You wanna drink tonight?”

“Sure” You shrug. You definitely needed it after the month you had.

“Great! I’ll invite Junghwan, too!” Winnie cheered before skipping away. 

Great. 

Junghwan didn’t know you were a light-weight. 

But here you were, sprawled out on your living room couch, with a rosy face as multiple (3) beer cans scattered over the floor. Your head barely grazed his thigh, your hair spreading across his lap, each strand following the creases of his jeans. Junghwan couldn’t help but smile; you were the cutest drunk person he's ever seen.

Maybe for tonight, he can forget about fucking up any chance he had of staying your friend.

“Oh god,” Concerned, Winnie hid her mouth behind her hands as she looked over at you. She looks back up at Junghwan. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t think she’d get like that.”

Junghwan waved a lenient hand. “It’s all good.”

“She’s probably still grovelling over Eunhyeok. Poor girl got ghosted.” Winnie muttered. The mention of his name left a bitter taste in Junghwan’s mouth, but at least he was out of the picture. Winnie shot up from the couch, shuffling to the kitchen. “I’ll see if we have anything to fix…that.”

Junghwan pursed his lips, gazing at how your eyelashes swooped beneath your eyelids so beautifully. There’s nothing to fix. Even as a drunk mess—you were still perfect.

Winnie soon disappeared into the pantry, and Junghwan felt some shuffling at the edge of his thigh. He glanced down, watching your figure shift around your area of the couch. You began by slowly turning over, your cheeks squished against the backrest. You then murmured something completely incoherent—like a baby saying their first words. You melted Junghwan’s heart into a lovesick puddle as Junghwan gently brushed the hairs away from your face, taking care of you in any way he knew he could. 

Maybe Junghwan let his guard down too soon. 

You proceeded to messily crawl up a bit, resting your head on Junghwan’s lap. Junghwan’s skin ignited at your touch. He gulped, bullets of sweat running down his forehead. What were you doing? Were you trying to kill him?

You flopped over so that your flushed, rosy face was facing up at him. “Junghwanie.” 

Junghwan blinked. “Yeah?”

“Mmm I think I’m in trouble,” you mumbled some more. Junghwan knew you were just speaking gibberish, but a part of him couldn’t ignore you. 

“I think I’m falling for you.”

Junghwan choked. 

“There’s something about you lately… you’re so caring and sweet—but like more than before. And then we kissed, and it made me more confused. No one’s kissed me like that before…”

You fell asleep before Junghwan could compose himself, your soft snores filling up the living room. He could only scoff. While the walls of your apartment closed in on him, his heart jumped in and out of his chest, and reality as he knew it began to shatter—you were peacefully asleep. 

Junghwan gripped at his chest, which was bubbling up with adrenaline. You liked him back? He had a chance?

“I like you, too,” Junghwan whispered back. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“I’m back!” Winnie chimed in, catapulting Junghwan back to reality. 

No, no, no. This wasn’t good. None of this was good. 

I think I’m falling for you. 

Your words from last night replayed in your mind, as if your raging headache from your hangover wasn’t enough torment already. You were pacing back and forth on your living room floor, fingers picking at your lips and eyes quaking side to side. Your heart was popping out of your chest, sweat beaded from your temples. 

Few sips of alcohol and you were off, ruining life long friendships with a single drunken love confession. How stupid were you to let yourself slip up like that? 

“It’s probably fine, y/n” Winnie watched you from the couch, very worried. “You probably didn’t say anything too bad.”

“No.” you mutter, regrettably “I remember what I said.”

“Well, why don’t you go to him?”  Winnie shrugged. How could she be so nonchalant about this? “Talk it through. Who knows? Maybe he feels the same way?”

You stop in your tracks, holding in a scoff. There was no way. He was your childhood best friend. But Winnie was right about one thing. You needed to clear things up. 

You needed to see Junghwan.

“y/n?” Junghwan’s voice was overwhelming with confusion as you stood in the quad, visibly dishevelled and still in your sleepwear. You were lucky you remembered to put on proper shoes. What’s worse? Junghwan wasn’t alone. He—and by proxy, you—was surrounded by other students, presumably his friends. You forgot he hung out with people aside from you. 

“Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure,” Junghwan stuttered before whisking you away, one hand at the small of your back. His touch made your stomach swirl. The two of you stood along the side of the nearest campus building, his tall frame casting a shadow over you. 

“Oh yeah, almost forgot,” Junghwan’s eyes lit up, brows shooting up to the sky.  Slipping his bag off his shoulders, he pulls out a smaller bag before handing it to you. “Made some food for you. Hopefully it helps with the hangover.”

“Thanks,” you gulp. Only Junghwan would think of something like this—something that would make your heart melt to the ground. Nevertheless, Junghwan remembered you’d have a hangover, which meant he remembered how drunk you were last night. 

“I’m sorry about what I said last night!” You suddenly blurt out, head hanging low. “I wasn’t thinking right, clearly, and—”

“What?” Junghwan’s voice was shaky, worried. “You’re taking it back?”

“You’re one of my best friends, Junghwan. What I said wasn’t right. I don’t want to ruin what we have, especially right after I got you back.” You gulp, your words turning sour and bitter on your tongue. Each sentence broke your heart into pieces. You were placing a wall between you and your chance at happiness, after all. 

“What about what I want?” Junghwan’s voice suddenly grew deep and firm. He slapped a palm onto the brick wall behind you, encasing you in his frame. Chills ran down your spine.“You’re too busy babying me and protecting me, did you forget I get a say in this, too? What if I wanted to take the risk? What if I wanted to make the jump to be with you?

“What are you saying?” you muttered like an idiot. 

Junghwan looks to the side, nervously hiding his face beneath the back of his hand. The shells of his ears grew red. His other hand fell from the wall before reaching into his pants pocket. He pulls out a pink frilly piece of fabric—fabric you recognized instantly. “Last night, the girl of my dreams; the girl that gave me her favourite pink scrunchie, told me she liked me back, and I want nothing more than to take her in my arms right now.” 

Your cheeks flush in heat at his heart fluttering words. Questions ran through your mind like runners in a marathon as your heart beat faster and faster. Junghwan wanted to be with you? You weren’t living in one sided nightmare? Junghwan was willing to risk your friendship for you? Your chest heaved as you clawed at the brick wall behind you—anything for that sense of reality. 

“Did you mean it? What you said last night?” Junghwan’s eyes flit back to you. 

Your heart made one final, courageous leap across your chest. Fuck it. 

“Yeah. I meant it all—I like you, Junghwan. I like you so much.”

The pressure on your shoulders began to float to the sky. This was what it felt like to stop lying to yourself, huh?

Like clockwork, Junghwan pulls you against his chest, his face melting into the crook of your neck. You cling onto his shoulders, grip maybe too tight for your liking. You didn’t want him escaping your grasp anymore. He was gentle, still, but you couldn’t help but notice a sense of urgency in his touch. As if he was waiting all his life for this. “I like you too, y/n.”

You pull away from your embrace, your eyes immediately linking to the sight of his lips. Call yourself selfish, but you needed to kiss the man in front of you. Right now. Judging by the almost ravenous stare from Junghwan’s eyes, it seems he felt the same. 

As if you were starving, you hopelessly clung onto the collar of Junghwan’s shirt, finally linking your lips onto his—genuinely, this time. You move your arms to cling around Junghwan's neck, and his arms loop around your waist. His lips tasted of a weird fruit medley—maybe it's from the gum you gave him last week—but it didn't matter. Sparks still popped against your skin, excitement shocking through your whole body. Junghwan raised a hand snug against the back of your head, protecting you from the brick wall as he leaned in further, deepening your kiss. It made your heart melt into a lovesick puddle beneath your feet. You cling onto the fabric of his collar. Junghwan knew just what to do to take your breath away. 

Slowly, you pull apart, breath shortened, chests heightened, and eyes both full of love. Junghwan keeps his gaze on you, and only you, as he brushes a hair behind your ear. 

“Promise you’ll let me take care of you now?”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “I promise”

“Gross,” Jeongwoo winces as he studies the decorations on your apartment fridge—specifically, the photo of you and Junghwan, drunkenly asleep and cuddling on the couch. Safe to say, this was the last thing he expected to see on his visit to see his best friend and sister. 

“Shut up—it's cute!” Winnie, the obvious culprit, beams. 

“I tried getting her to take it down, okay,” You argue, fiddling with your boyfriend, Junghwan’s, fingers as his arm rests on your shoulders in a casual side hug. 

“Don’t act so innocent,” Jeongwoo narrows his eyes at the sickeningly sweet couple, jabbing a finger at you and Junghwan. “You guys are too damn clingy.”

Junghwan takes this opportunity to wrap his other arm—as well as one leg—around you. He looked like a big and goofy koala, but that didn't matter to you. “And what about it?” 

You giggle behind Junghwans arm, which was covering practically half of your face. “Yeah!”

“Yuck,” Jeongwoo’s cowers behind his shoulders, and the two of you laugh triumphantly. Your brother and Winnie quickly retire to another part of your apartment, probably to get away from you two. But that didn’t matter. You gave up at Junghwan, his eyes already gazing down at you lovingly. Heat creeped onto your cheeks. 

“Don’t mind them, baby,” Junghwan says with a pout.

You hum in response before Junghwan’s hand pulls you closer by the jaw, linking your lips with his in a sweet kiss. Even now, So Junghwan managed to take your breath away. 

“I know, baby.”