#trauma dumping on Tumblr is really funny to me

[tore-down-from-heaven]

Tired of religious guilt when I wasn't even raised to be religious

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

just stumbled upon this blog and it's great. i genuinely love how many of the same situations come up as they do on reddit, but the tone and lingo of the posts are so distinctly tumblr <3

question for ya, is there a process you use to determine whether stories sound fake vs plausible? or do you publish all of them as long as they fit the scope of the blog?

Thank you! :D I'm kind of feeling out the vetting process as I go, there's no real hard rules yet, but so far I've posted or queued most of what I've gotten. The ones I've rejected as inappropriate for the blog have been either transparently not the asshole with no conflict to judge or advice needed, or just kind of excessive trauma dumping (which is something I don't really want to open up for discussion here)

I'm not really vetting for plausibility, except for the really low-effort fandom ones (high-effort, funny fandom ones might be posted at my discretion, basically if you make me go "yeah that's pretty good you had me in the first half" you're likely to make it through)

[tpato]

Ok guys we need to have a chat about Bridgerton. (Guys I know the immediate associations please I am a holy woman so I had my mom skip the inappropriate scenes and tell me the important things. How dare you assume other wise. Anyway-)

I actually thoroughly enjoyed watching through the first season with my mom, but we kind of stopped there and didn’t have a lot of time to fit it into our schedules to watch it together. But after hearing all the fuss about Colin and Pen when season three came out I caved and watched the whole show on my own time. (Happy to report, I’m a wholehearted Polin shipper. Also Kanthony made me feral I love them too.)

Now I have just finished watching Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton Story and I’ve loved these stories and the story-telling of them, but I seem to have noticed a slight theme…

I feel like, specifically for Anthony and King George’s characters, the writers decide to dump literally gallons of trauma on our characters halfway through the show and we never really see them work it out 😂 (😭).

Like for Anthony. Randomly it’s dropped on us that he’s been processing the death of his father under the immense pressure to be the head of the household for TEN YEARS. A whole decade of trying to hold it together; resulting in him having such an extreme reaction to simply the presence of a bee. Along with a bunch of other things that come with this new authority, as well as witnessing his father’s actual death and the sorrow of his mother thereafter. And we kind of have his talk with his mum about marriage which is very sweet and all but like??? He never actually faces this trauma?? Like we get the whole next season and he still doesn’t ever actually talk about it lol.

And where do we even begin with George. Obviously, he’s gone through a lot even before we are introduced to the story in the show. And so there’s likely some things we weren’t shown that his mother and/or doctors worked on with him in relation to the study of his condition/his childhood. BUT. HOWEVER. I am specifically talking about how he went through, um, months of actual torture, and we never really touched on it again? Like Charlotte is like “give him a warm bath and a meal” or whatever and then for the rest of time the only problems that continue are to do with his condition? Like I’m sorry he put himself through months of psychedelic (not quite the right word but you know what I mean) torture and we’re going to say a warm bath and hot meal and loving wife did the trick? And like even Reynolds! He stood outside a door listening to a man being tortured for months, which has got to do a number on this poor man. And like we just end the show😭.

100% no hate to the writers or filmmakers or anyone, this is just something I noticed and thought was kind of funny/strange and was worth note. Not trying to like critique or anything. I was ranting to one of my friends abut it and thought tumblr might care to hear aswell. I just want some therapy for my bois let’s be real🥲

[zkoh001]

I watched ninjago as a wee baby, and I... Didn't have an issue with any characters. Then I came onto here, and saw that people have an intense hatred for Wu and Misako.

I'll get Misako out the way, cause yeah. Thats fair. It's actually really funny, because she didn't have a reason, but I made one up, one I firmly believed was a part of the show. You know how in PJO Nico passes a shitton of years in a casino where time doesn't pass properly? Yeah, I tought something similar happened, while researching she got stuck in a time trap, andwhile in her mind she left Lloyd at Darkleys for maybe a month or two, in reality she abandoned him.

Hell, I theorised that it had something to do with one of the Time Blades. You heard that right: I made a theory about something I made up. Good thing I didn't have Tumblr back then.

Wu then. I don't get the hate. He always knows whats up, so its easy for the writers to explain. But even without that, how was he supposed to know most of these things happening?? Was he supposed to just... Guess these random people would come back? Like Morro, or Aspheera? Idk what people want him to do, make a list of people he made enemies of (hes thousands of years old) and just trauma dump his students cause "Maybe they'll come back.

Theres two fair critisisms that he gets in my opinion: He should have looked for Morro, and he should have told the ninja about Acronix, who he new would return. (Quite literally a ticking time bomb, har-har)

Morro: Yeah, he wasn't the greatest at raising him, but I never got the feeling it was presented as if he was the perfect dad (or man for that matter). He should've looked for him. But then, he comes back as a villain, they can't exactly reconcile. That "Thank you, Morro" in Dotd is unfortunately all this father-son duo gets.

Acronix: You done goofed up sire. But! While S7 has it's flaws, what I like is that it admits he effed up. His faliure dream is one of the best scenes, so I believe this doesn't need any further details (Morro is also in his dream, so the show does acknowledge he didn't go about that the best way?)

HoT side tangent:

Also, I have a feeling Wu and the Elemental Alliance didn't deal with the Twins the best way possible... One: Master of Earth, was manipulated by Chen, you should at least consider that happening. Two: Umm... Is it a good idea to just get rid of a whole ass element? You guys do know Vengestone is and was a thing right? You could have just... Imprisoned them? You literally have no way of knowing what this might cause... Damn, S7 was a glorious mess (But you can pry the Temporal whip out of my dead hands)

Oh whatever. Bottom line is: Wu is flawed, but not the personified dirt on the bottom of your shoe, and also, let me rewrite Misako pleeease.

[kitkat-the-muffin]

OH BOY I need some AIR after playing Cloutchase Vol 2!!!!

Time for the customary screenshot dump! Spoilers under the cut!

But first, some spoiler-free teases to further encourage you to play the game yourself first!

Aight here we go

Hrrrrrrrrrrrrgh I started with Amino and then had to wash it down with Discord cause oof the cringe flashbacks to middle school

They really went all out on the accuracy didn't they. It just like me fr (derogatory) (inaccurate)

We need to talk about this split second of dialogue btw- I caught it just in time oh my god WHAT- they should kiss I think

I played this with a friend actually and she gave Kik a Beetlejuice voice and it was amazing. My friend did all the voices actually and I did the narration and she was great and accurate it was a real fun experience. I've never even heard of Kik before this but she HAD and knew what to do XD

THE FREAKIN WARRIOR CATS ROLEPLAY. I know EXACTLY how it feels to be dragged into a WCRP when you've never read the books or know anything about the series, more middle school trauma for you there

Amino's route was positively perfect I have no notes I am going insane I am going feral I need therapy I need a monkey onesie-

Moving on, Muffy was in Discord's route! That was so neat to see! Also the crypto ending was so funny look at this:

We also need to talk about Twitter X. Just look at him

Amazing. Perfection. He is disgusted with us, as he should be

Ok in regards to actual Discord, I freakin love him. Again, I was playing this game with a friend, and she said his trans experience was so relatable to her. Then I spoke with another friend and he said the same thing. We all agree he's very gender looking, even tho two of us are femme XD

When we finished the Good Ending my friend said that Discord's feminine persona looked a lot more fake than initially thought now that we knew the truth, and that's honestly great character building. The maze was such an interesting way to get to know Discord better too, even if all the mythology reference were askew lol

I think both versions of Discord are incredibly cute and adorable but Masc Discord is my favorite cause he just looks so much more comfortable in his own skin if you know what I mean? Or maybe I'm just projecting idk

I've actually hit 12 photos already so idk why Tumblr wont stop me from adding more. Maybe it's different on desktop than mobile idk

Anyway I loved both routes and I wish I could gush about them more but I have a certain social experiment session in an hour (shoutout to the two people who actually read through my experiment tag) so I'll just leave it here

But gosh I loved these two they were amazing I want to play them again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

LAST NOTE BUT THERE ARE ACTUALLY A PAIR OF CREEPY TWINS AT THE END OF THE SHINING HALLWAY BTW

Calling it now it's Thesaurus.com and Dictionary.com (two of MY ocs that I haven't even DESIGNED yet ffffffffffff now that Webtoon's done I guess that's my next project)

[uglypastels]

Sorry for anon, but I'm too embarrassed to go 'public'. Just came back from my vacation, and started catching up on NWE -btw: loooooooove it, and I can't stop thinking about it. But that is beside the point for now.

I read some of your posts, and let me tell you- I understand. Not having friends or not fitting in... it sucks.

And probably I should just shut up at this point, because it's not very constructive, but I just spent last 10 days pretty much alone and I have a need to talk (tumblr is my safe place, and I consider a lot of people here my actual family).

I would kill - and I mean really, I would commit a murder to have parents like yours. My mother was abusing me when I was a kid. Took adventage of me when I was a teen, and stole from me when I was an adult. All that while hurting me physically and emotionally - for which I still felt responsible - and thought I actually deserved it. I can't even think about my so-called dad without burtsing in tears.

It took me years of therapy to start healing and go NC. Now, in my late 20ies, I feel like I'm just starting what my peers did when they were in their teens. I have no friends, no family, no support system. No partner.

I went alone for my summer vacation. I live alone. But I am alive! And I'm my own person.

I am free. I am healing.

My point is, I learnt to appreciate small things. I am happy with my crappy apartment. I love my cat. I like my dead-end job. I love my online community of nameless strangers. I am glad to be alive and safe.

Yes, I am jealous reading about people having family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and supportive parents. Or parents taking them for vacation, and just spending time with them. Or even just treating them like actual human beings... (I am also happy for them).

And yes, there is always someone that has it worse. And just because I had it worse doesn't mean your feelings are not valid.

What I'm trying to say is, things change. Things get better.

It may sound pretentious, but if you can figure out a way to be happy about small things you have- your life may feel better.

Just to wrap up with more trauma dump- your mom helps you with ideas for your fic. My mom, showed up drunk to my singing recital and tried stealing somebody's coat, and then puked on my music teacher. She only came because they had free snacks, which she also loaded into her bag (together with the trays they were served at).

Your writing is beyond amazing. May sound cheesy, but you have a rare talent. Storytelling is a gift! And you just got it!

You are smart, funny, you are loved. You are also very young and have so much time to experience all the things you are missing now.

Not sure where I'm going with it... but what I'm trying to say. I feel like what you wrote is relateble

And I've been there. Still am there.

So... thank you for opening up. You are not alone. Things change. Life is surprising.

Hope I didn't upset you- I meant well.

XOXO

i know i am still quite fortunate and privileged with my situation and my family, but there is also so much that i do not share and that i do not want to share on here, despite this being my safe space to rant and cry and yell whatever i feel. i have gone through shit and am still going through it, and only share so much of my day-to-day life with everyone here, and even with what i know of myself I'm sure there are people who have (had) it worse. but like you said, that does not invalidate my own experiences.

i appreciate your kind words and the sentiment of what you wanted to say, but this trauma-dumping trying to compare people's situations (or at least in the way that it comes across as comparing it) is not the way to go about it.

[kaythefloppa]

Binga Redesign [Sloth Bear] + Rewrite/HC:

My first artwork that ever is posted on Tumblr. It's garbage and disproportionate, but it's something!! [to be clear, this isn't the only Lion King/Guard-based artwork that I've made, this is the first of many that I'll be uploading here].

I've been high off of my Lion Guard hyper fixation for the past few weeks, mainly in how demotivation and disappointing S3 was and how I should write my post-canon fic/have the events after the finale play out in my verse [which I will illustrate with some art-pieces - I'll do this here, Deviantart and on the Lion King subreddit, my user is KrattBoy2006].

However, one thing really ground my gears to a halt and made me immediately clap my hands and say "Fuck this" was fucking Binga. I refuse to accept this abominable incontinent MLP-OC-reject-pukeskin-gender-bendered little Chippette. She's 10x more annoying than Bunga is [even with Season 3's character assassination of the poor dude], her existence, personality, design, and by extension, her relationship with Bunga relies on really outdated, sexist, and overall boring hetero-romance tropes. You could cut her from the story and nothing of substance would be changed [don't believe me? Fiona Riley recorded more lines for the one episode Shabaha appears in, than for the 3 episodes Binga appears in. Take that however you will]

Out of everything in TLG S3 that I've had to tolerate or write around when it comes to my headcanons, AUs, and fics, Binga is the one thing that I flat-out choose to ignore altogether. If not because of how much cringe I endure, it's because.... she's boring lmao.

And rather than just taking the easy way out and pretending she doesn't exist [not like that's not a good option either] or by having Bunga dump this chick [again, am not entirely opposed to], I eventually just said “screw canon” and came up with my own version of her, more fleshed out than in the show itself [I’m definitely not a fan of her name since that’s another cisbend of Bunga, but until I find a good substitute, I'll go with Sloth!Binga].

Rant Aside: On with my Rewrite version of Binga. Here, she’s a sloth bear: Why that? Because A) I want to take more advantage of the Asia setting, B) because sloth bears are termite predators like honey badgers so it does fit, C) because sloth bears, much like honey badgers are incredibly fierce when they need to be, D) I’m a sucker for height difference in relationships, and E) I think them being an interspecies couple makes it very interesting, funny, and wholesome, and be a neat mirror to Timon & Pumbaa's relationship. [And before y'all say anything about how they can't have babies, note that the ability to reproduce in a relationship should not solely determine if two characters should and shouldn't get together]:

I originally wanted to have her be a honey guide [since they do also live in India]. But then I read that the whole "Honey badger/honey guide symbiotic relationship" thing was an outdated myth so I went with the next available bug-eating, Indian-native animal.

In my AU, Binga is the polar opposite of Bunga. She lived in fear and isolation as a result of immense trauma from the loss of her parents [in the same tragedy that took Sãhasí and Ãnanda and left young Rani with a scar, I'll get to that point in my verse soon]. The Night Pride adopts her out of pity and she grows up as a sister to Rani and Baliyo until she leaves on her own: Meeting Bunga inspires her to be braver, but at the same time, she is able to help Bunga become mature and level-headed, and which inspires him to eventually reconcile with Kion and apologize to him for his emotional negligence.

Bunga and Sloth!Binga have an on-off relationship. Both of them are new to the concept of actually being with someone, especially with one of them having such a coveted and busy title as the Night Pride's Bravest. They go through some ups and downs and travel around lands with each other before eventually deciding that they would rather spend the rest of their lives with each other.

I have 2 existing possible outcomes for their future:

Scenario 1:

Bunga and Binga follow Kion to the Pridelands after him and Rani's relationship falls apart, and during their time there, Bunga and Binga stay at Timon & Pumbaa's old home. When Kion returns to rebuild his alliance with the Night Pride, Bunga, and Binga opt to stay in the Pridelands, and they help advise the next Bravest of the Lion Guard .

Scenario 2:

Same as Scenario 1, except when Kion returns to the Tree of Life, Bunga and Binga return alongside him and become the surrogate aunt and uncle to Kion and Rani's kids.

In either outcome, they do end up adopting children, orphaned from both the Pridelands and the Tree of Life, much to the excitement of Grandpa Timon & Pumbaa.

For Binga's design, I tried to incorporate the sloth bear look and blend it with Binga's design. The freckles were my own design choice. Overall it doesn't look as awful as it could've been.

[goldencherriess]

This is really funny and I'm sure we've all done this as writers (except maybe the trauma dumped on the character was multiplied by ten) but it's actually really cathartic! On its own it's a healing process because it is a way of working through your trauma and your emotions, even though maybe you aren't aware that you wrote them into your story, in the first place. More often than not I've written my trauma into stories (yes, even here on Tumblr) and it helped me to come at peace (or at least a somewhat peace) with them. Therapists love this and they support this. So write! Even for the sake of writing, because at the end of the day we're still writers and we always will be. Who's gonna write that story if you don't? Write.

[stultusharley]

Sorry for trauma dumping, but Tumblr is the only safe place that I have.

So, I used to be friends with these two girls (A and Y). They were my world, I did everything for them. I cared about them more than my family. All I wanted was them to see me the same. But they always left me out. We have known each other since first grade. I was bullied from second till seventh grade. A was in love with my bully and Y dated one of his close friends for a couple years. They never defended me. Not in second nor in seventh grade. They even helped him sometimes. They called me Dome (which is heavily overweight women in a German show) in sixth grade even though I was underweight at that time. I wanted to lose weight and begged my mom to let me join weight watchers. I cried every night, just wanting them to see me like they saw each other. The best days were when one of them was sick, so I had the other one for myself and didn't get left out. I really tried to be liked by everyone. I tried being normal for some time. I was always boyish and weird. (Turns out I have ADHD and am genderfluid) Around seventh and eighth grade I really tried to fit in. Wore Makeup and copied the others behavior. Still got left out. I saw how they often flirted with each other and I admit, this was very wrong from me and I am deeply sorry for that, but I often made them very uncomfortable by trying to do the same and I often took it way too far. I stopped after eighth grade.

Actually, the beginning of eighth grade was really great, we knew an old classmate (R) from primary school would join us, so there would be an even number of friends and maybe I wouldn't be left out anymore. I was very pessimistic though and knew that Y would sit next to her bf and A next to R and I was right. I ended up sitting with S, a guy who was also bullied. It still worked out for the first semester and J was even able to sit next to A for a while. Then the twin sister of an classmate (A2) joined. And she was perfect. Blond, tall, pretty, good style, funny and liked by all the boys. Just perfect. A became best friends with her and he'll started again. They even started a group chat without me and send me pictures of them hanging out without me and it broke me. Worst thing, I developed feelings for Y. She's so pretty and she has the most beautiful eyes and when it's just us, she was so funny and nice and I just loved her, with all my heart. Nothing really changed after that, just being left out and me crying every night, praying (I was christian) to be normal and making my friends more and more uncomfortable.

After eighth grade we all went to different schools, except Y and me. We went to the same that had a boarding school and we ended up sharing the only two bed room, all the others were four beds. (I wanna mark that I'm asexual and would never look at anything inappropriate and that I stopped making them uncomfortable) It was fine till she found new friends. She constantly invited them in our room even though I have social anxiety. I always locked myself in the bathroom and tried studying there. Y was often begging me to unlock the door and when I did, she filmed me while I was sitting on the floor learning. (She asked me if it was ok and I agreed, but was visibly uncomfortable, bc I only agreed to make her happy) Also at the beginning of the school year we were allowed to switch rooms one time after everyone got to know each other and some wanted our two bed room. Y agreed to give it up and to move in with two loud girls, but had to ask me first. I was working out with another classmate at that time and she called me. Again, I wanted to make her happy and agreed at first, but was trying my best to show that I don't actually want to, bc again, social anxiety. She didn't notice the sign, so I had to call her again and begged her to not give up our room bc I couldn't take two more roommates that I barely knew. She got really mad and I went to where they were discussing all this to sort this out. I was crying at that point btw. When I got there she was screaming at me, yelling bc I'm messing everything up by being egoistic and that one classmate (who was a loner and just didn't want to move out of her room) was already crying. I screamed back at her that I was crying too and that I would be really uncomfortable with other roommates. They later were able to sort it out so that everyone was happy, but Y was still mad at me.

Another situation in boarding school was, when a friend of ours had her male cousin (18 yo) over. Mark, we were an all girls class and when our classmates found out, they were all over him, making him visibly uncomfortable, ate the snacks that he bought for our friend and us and not giving the friend a chance to talk to her cousin. I left pretty early. Later, after he left, our classmates left without helping to clean. The friend and Y were mad at them and a huge fight started between them. We studied later together when some classmates stormed in the room we were in and we're still mad at us. Me, trying to protect Y and wanting to help her, went off on them and tried to defend them, but Y got mad at me, yelling that I shouldn't talk to her friends that way and that it was her fault. I went to bed early and slept at home the next day. (I only an hour away, no big deal). After that I became really depressed and started therapy. (No one knew about it)

Another incident was, that I wanted to go to bed early (7p.m.) but Y wanted friends over at our room (remember we have the smallest room) I stood my ground and she went to the others room. She came back once to get something, I was almost asleep but she turned on all the lights and asked me loudly if I was still awake. I asked her to be quiet and maybe use her phone but she got mad and told me that she couldn't do that, but after a while agreed to it. (Btw, I got up in the morning always an hour earlier for breakfast, only turned the lights on in the bathroom and tried to be as quiet as possible, barely making any noise. I also often brought her breakfast) When she came back to sleep, she woke me up again by shining the flashlight in my face and asking me if I was still awake.

I left boarding school around Christmas and drove to school every morning by bus.

We also got a new classmate. Openly depressed, often talked about her ED and SH. I tried to be sorry for her, but it was simply annoying how every conversation with her had to be around her mental health or her stupid horse. (Yes, she had a horse) Y was really worried about her and always supported her, something that she never did for me.

At the end of the school year I met up with A bc my dad had to fix her Moped. Idk how it came to it, but I started venting about Y and A agreed with me and started talking shit about Y. Saying how she was always showing off and trying to steal her crush (her crush was 18 at that time, she 15) and I agreed with her just because it felt good that I wasn't as alone as I thought. Well, I fucked it up. A told Y about our conversation, but mixed it up and said that I was talking shit about Y. Y got really mad and we had a big argument where she just blamed me for always ruining the fun, always being so sensitive and things like that. It was like talking to a wall. I kept telling her how shit I felt and always coming up with new examples, but she just came back with the same argument over and over again. (Btw. I was crying really bad and we were in a room out of class in the middle of the school) After a while I just stood up and said, that apparently we weren't a good fit and that we shouldn't be friends again. She said that it didn't have to end like that and that I should just stop acting like this, but I walked away.

So, here is the thing, this was one day before the class trip and we would be sharing a room for two nights with two other girls. We agreed to just ignore the day before for these few days to keep peace. In the evening, we went to an escape room. We had to make groups out of seven, but we ended up in a friend group of nine around middle of school year. So, me and the friend (with the cousin I mentioned before) got left out. We decided to stick together. Then, Y tried to be a "good person" and joined us. (Probably to look good or for the friend, def not for me) But all teams were already six so we had to separate. Y got with a group that my cousin (L) was in too, the friend got in the original friend group and I got with some girls that I barely knew and probably hated me. Long story short, I got a panic attack. It was zombie themed, so there was often banging on the door, only red lighting, no one was listening to me and my teammates were always screaming and running together to cuddle every time there was banging. One time I was standing in a corner and there was banging again. They ran to me and pressed me against the wall screaming. It was like a switch. I couldn't breathe anymore, I almost started crying and was almost blacking out. It took me five minutes to get the courage to leave the room. The panic attack stayed. I didn't have my phone with me. Then, my friend group finished. I rushed to them and told them that I was having a panic attack and that I needed help. (I was extremely shaking and gave my best not to cry.) Their answer: oh no. And left. Next person that came was Y. Said the same thing to her, almost begging her to help. I still know exactly where we stood, how she phrased it. Cool. Just cool and left to talk to the others. Didn't sleep that night. Panic attack didn't wear down till late in the night. Didn't even know that this could take so long. They always helped the new girl, why not me? Me, the one she knew FOR 9 FUCKING YEARS. 9 years for shit. I was done, just wanted to die.

To this day I always ask myself why not me? Why did she helped everyone, said sorry so often just not me. Why not me...

Feeling for her didn't wear down for over a year. I loved her for over a year even after that. I often wanted to text her to say sorry, hoping she changed. I was writing a poem for her, wanted to give it personally to her the next day, when my mom told me she and R were at the door. I thought they wanted to apologize. NEVER. They would never do that. I posted a couple of vent videos on TikTok. Not mentioning anyone's name. Made characters that had similar personallys like them. They wanted me to delete them. Saying they didn't want me talking shit about them on social media. It wasn't anything wild, just my Oc getting left out, like me. I thought I lost feelings after that, but no, I still loved her and would die for her.

I left school. I'm a confectioner apprentice now. I also found a best friend. Her name is Neah. We met online and she lives four hours away from me, but I didn't know that I could be treated like that. She listens to me. Doesn't always say that I'm cringe or stupid. I feel like she genuinely likes being my friend. I also reconnected with S.

S is still in contact with A, Y and R. They sometimes go partying together. We met up today and he told me that they regret it a bit.

We went no contact over a year ago, AND NOW THEY FEEL A LITTLE REGRET?! Just a LITTLE. Just a little for absolutely traumatizing me, making me believe that no one could ever love me or be my friend. I don't trust anyone, I think everyone hates me, even my new friends. But I'm just to tired. Before I would punch my punching bag till my hands were bleeding.

Now, I'm just sitting here, at 23:34, typing this even though I have to get up at 4:30. I just wish they would tell me they were sorry. Or at least give me a sorry look. I still love them, both of them. Especially Y...

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Sunshine and Moonshine: Chapter 25: Untimely Confessions

(Read on ao3)

Luna and Simón finished the pizza in her room. They laughed and talked about everything they could think of. 

Luna grabbed her tissues to wipe her fingers so she wouldn’t make her whole bed sticky with pizza.

��Wait,” Simón said, “Stand up and we’ll shake your sheets so we know there’s no crumbs left.”

“That’s so smart!”

Simón grabbed her sheets and shook them off, and then he gently remade her bed.

“Now for the princess!”

“Is the princess me?” Luna asked.

“Yes, the princess of this bed.”

“I’m the pillow princess!”

Simón for whatever reason started to burst out laughing as he heard Luna say that.

“What?” she asked, genuinely confused why he found that so funny.

“Nothing, nothing… please lie down.”

Luna laid down in her bed, and Simón gently tucked her in.

“Wow, you look really cozy!” he said.

“I do feel really cozy!” she replied, giggling.

“I better go,” Simón said. “It was nice hanging with you, though.”

“Yeah!”

Luna felt like there were butterflies fluttering inside of her as she watched him leave.

She was kinda weirded out by it.

-

When you were Rey, you kinda had to be a hacker if you wanted to do your job properly. 

“Here you go, miss Benson.”

Sharon started going through Ámbar’s entire phone. Pictures… although there was no real suspicious picture she had taken. Search history… which were 80% just roller skate related or “what is this word in french?” questions. The rest seemed to either be definitions of other words or news sites she had flickered through.

She was uninterested in Ámbar’s social media. Mostly because she didn’t have any herself, so she did not see the point of it. Besides, it just seemed to be videos of makeup and roller skating, and selfies of Ámbar and her friends. 

(It was lucky she never even saw the tumblr app. Ámbar had hid it in a folder so no one could see it on her homepage. Sharon did not know how much Ámbar had trauma-dumped on that site… even if she never had said Sharon’s name)

But then Sharon reached her texts. She went through Delfi and Jazmin’s texts quickly. Ámbar seemed to just write “ok” or “yes”, “no”, or at some points do a thumbs up emoji, while Delfi and Jazmin did most of the talking in the texts. 

She was a bit hesitant to see what she discussed with Luna. But that seemed to still be your average texts. “Where are you?”, “We’re gonna be late, hurry up!”, that sort of thing. This was mostly because Luna and Ámbar knew that it was risky talking about heavier stuff on the phone, and if they ever needed to, they talked on their social media where they had turned off notifications.

There were other people that Sharon didn’t know the name of. But then, Emilia… Sharon sat down and scrolled up, wanting to read everything that Ámbar talked about with her.

“What does it say?” Rey asked.

Sharon seemed to grow slightly uncomfortable. 

“Miss Benson?”

She gave Rey the phone. “I don’t like these texts.”

“How come? Were they being harmful?”

She shook her head. “It’s just… I feel like the Ámbar writing in those texts, it’s not the girl I raised.”

“Well, to be fair, people often act differently towards their friends than their parents. Not that you’re Ámbar’s parent, of course,” He gave a slight chuckle.

Sharon turned to him. “Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out.”

“Ok, but… Ámbar’s phone-”

“Leave it in her room!”

“But Miss Benson-”

“She’s asleep, Rey, she won’t know!”

As Rey left, Sharon pressed her hand on her forehead. She thought about what was said in those texts… 

She tried to figure out what was wrong with it. 

It was just… everything. The way Ámbar seemed to be so open with her. The way they spoke in a more vulgar language… 

And how it seemed like Ámbar was very interested in this girl. Sharon could tell she tried hiding it, but it slipped through in the text. She had been smitten with her.

But didn’t Ámbar have a boyfriend? Sharon recalled very vividly catching her and him in her room. 

Although, she remembered Ámbar mentioning something about them breaking up…

She really needed to confront Ámbar about it. And quick.

-

Jim stretched her arms. She looked at Yam. Yam slowly woke up as well.

“For how long did we sleep?” Jim asked.

“I don’t know,” Yam admitted. “But it was nice…” 

Jim frowned. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Looking at you like what?”

“Like that. Like you… know something.”

Yam immediately tried to change her facial expression. “Uh… no, nothing, I… I think I heard you sleep talk?”

Jim seemed to get some more color on her face. “Oh… uh… what did I… what did I say?”

“I thought you said my name. Was I in your dream?”

“Well, I… I don’t remember! I mean, it makes sense, we have been hanging out all day!”

“Yeah… yeah…” 

“Did you hear me say anything else?”

Yam didn’t know why she didn’t tell the full truth, but she didn’t. “No. Not that I remember.”

“Ok…”

They were quiet for a moment.

“So I should probably head back home,” Yam said. “My mom is coming home at any moment, and she’s gonna think I skipped school.”

“Haha. Yeah, go home.”

Yam kissed her on the cheek. “Bye!”

As Yam got home, she noticed the front door was opened. Oh no, she hoped her mom hadn’t come home yet…

Instead, it was her 12 year old brother David. He was playing video games in the living room.

“Hi,” he said. “Woah, you look sick!”

“I am sick,” Yam said, “I stayed home from school today.”

“So why were you out?” 

“I just… took a walk. It was boring staying home.”

David smirked. “Or maybe you have a secret boyfriend that you went to meet!”

Yam rolled her eyes. “Oh, sweet brother…”

“What?”

“If only you knew me better…”

“What do you mean?” David had to pause his game.

Yam just shrugged. “I’ll tell you one day.”

“About your secret boyfriend?”

“No. About who I really am.”

With that, she left him with a question mark on his face.

Julia came home a while after Yam had left the house. She immediately went to check on Jim.

“Hey… how’s the sick girl?”

“I’m fine.”

“Did Yam go home?”

“Yeah.”

Julia leaned against the wall. “So… what did you do?”

“We watched TV and then we took a nap.”

“Ooh, cozy!” Julia then scanned Jim’s facial expression. “What’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Sis. I know your facial expressions outside and in.”

“Well, I… I had a weird dream, and I’m scared Yam heard me sleep talk.”

“Ooh… What did you dream about?”

Jim just stared down on the floor.

“Jimena… tell me right now… I wanna hear your dream.”

She sat down next to her. Jim took a deep breath.

“I dreamt… that me and Yam were sitting under a tree in a park. We just… watched the clouds. It was cozy. And then Yam looked at me and smiled… and she touched my leg.” Jim touched her own leg as if somehow visualize how it looked. “And it felt… so good . Like I got this electric feeling inside.”

“Ooh…” Julia hummed in a flirtatious tone. 

“Yeah, and I… in the dream that is, just gazed into her eyes and told her… I loved her.”

“Aww!”

“Yeah. And now I’m confused.”

“What are you confused about?”

“Well, that I had a romantic dream about her? And what if I talked in my sleep and she heard?”

Julia chuckled. “Jimmy, if I’m being honest… I thought you were already kind of dating.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. I thought you simply weren’t ready to tell anyone yet, but I’ve noticed.”

“How long have you thought this?!”

“Well… since a year or so back.”

Jim shook her head. “We’re not… and I’m not a lesbian, either.”

“You could be bisexual.”

“No, I’m not, because I’ve never been in love with a boy.”

Julia formed a smug face. Jim suddenly realized what she said.

“I’ve never been in love with a boy. I’ve never… I’ve always wanted to be in love with a boy. But I’ve never actually had. I thought I had crushes, but what if… I just liked the idea of them.”

“I don’t know. How do you feel about girls?”

“I… have never thought about it. I’ve never considered it.”

“How does Yam feel?”

“She’s…” Jim was about to say Yam likes boys, but she realized she never actually asked her. Yam had never mentioned any boy, besides if anyone else didn’t ask first. Jim looked at her sister with large eyes. “I don’t know how Yam feels. I don’t know how I feel.”

Julia hugged her. “Oh, hermanita… want my help to figure out a plan on how to figure it all out?”

“Will it work?”

“I’m as unsure as I am about you possibly being switched at birth, but let’s try.”

-

The next day, both Luna and Ámbar felt all better. They still had some coughs, but it was not at all so bad.

“It’s such wonderful weather outside!” Luna exclaimed at breakfast. “I wanna make up for yesterday and go roller skating today.”

“No,” Sharon said. 

“Why no? Me roller skating does not affect you at all.”

“Because it’s not a good day for you to do physical activity.”

Luna smiled. “I think it’s a myth that you shouldn’t do physical activity on the first day of your period. But I’m not even on my period, anyway.”

“I know.” How Sharon kept track of her niece’s menstrual cycle, no one really wanted to know. Luna never told her when she had it, but maybe Sharon had ways of knowing. “I’m referring to the fact that you were sick yesterday,” she continued.

“So?” Luna asked, “I’m all better today. And I get so unfocused and distracted if I don’t get some exercise!”

“Answer is still no. You’re lucky it’s Saturday, so you can properly rest up before Monday.”

“So we should just be inside all weekend?” Ámbar asked. 

“Preferably, yes.”

The girls sighed.

Ámbar noticed Sharon was staring at her. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Sharon replied.

“Ok… you’re just… staring at me weirdly.”

“I just… want to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Are you still broken up with your boyfriend?”

Ámbar frowned. “Uh… well… yes. Yes, we’re broken up. We’re not together anymore. It’s the end.”

Sharon nodded. “And you’re not seeing anyone else?”

“Why are you asking this?”

“Just answer.”

“No… no, I’m… single…”

Sharon turned her head. “How about you, Luna?”

“Me?” Luna was not prepared for this. 

“Yes, are you dating anyone?” Sharon did not seem as interested, but it was like she didn’t want to make it obvious this was mostly about Ámbar. 

“No… never.”

“Good to hear. Continue like that. And don’t kiss your friends like I heard you did again. That can give you bad rumors.”

The people Luna hung out with wouldn’t give her bad rumors if she kissed her friends, but Luna just nodded.

“Can I at least be in the garden?” Luna asked. “I need some fresh air.”

“Alright. But I don’t want you getting more sick again.”

Ámbar stood up.

“Where are you going, Ámbar?” Sharon asked.

“I’m done with breakfast… I’m going to my room…”

Sharon nodded. “Good. Then I know where you are.”

“You’re odd today, madrina.”

-

Ámbar sat down at her mirror table. She decided to check her phone. Maybe read some more of those fanfictions… 

Then Emilia texted her. She smiled even before she read it.

Emilia: Still sick?

Ámbar: Not really. I still need to be kept inside. 

Emilia: Why?

Ámbar: Don’t know, madrina is weird

Emilia: Is she like running secret tests on you on something?

Ámbar giggled. Oh, Emilia could be so silly.

Ámbar: Seems like it sometimes. 

Emilia: Anyway to make you not so bored, here’s a video of me skating. 

She sent a video the next second. Ámbar pressed play and immediately felt her butterflies grow stronger as she watched Emilia skate. Emilia had chosen short, black shorts, and her shirt was short enough to reveal her belly, but still covered a large portion of her upper half. It was like a long crop top. 

A sexy long crop top…

As Emilia skated around, Ámbar couldn’t help but pay attention to her hip movements. She was happy she was just watching a video in the comfort of her bedroom and not right there. Or else Emilia would ask why she was staring so intensely at her. 

Ámbar: Nice!

That was the least it was…

”Oh, Emilia…” Ámbar let herself mumble, as she bit her lip.

Sharon walked back and forth in the hallway. 

”Is something wrong, Miss Benson?” Rey asked.

”I need to speak to Ámbar,” Sharon said, ”But I need to prepare what I need to say.”

”You seem… nervous…”

”I’m not! I just… need to prepare to have a certain talk with her that I never assumed I’d need to have.”

”May I ask what it is about?”

Sharon glared at him, her eyebrows almost making her eyes pop out. 

”No. It’s a delicate matter. Leave, Rey.”

Rey seemed hesitant, but nodded. ”As you wish, Miss Benson.”

Sharon took a deep breath, and walked up to Ámbar’s room.

She knocked, and then immediately went inside. 

”Madrina…?” Ámbar looked at her curiously.

”I need to speak with you.”

”Ok.” 

Sharon gazed at her eyes. Ámbar had those doe eyes she always had. She was just a little child… did she even know herself?

”I…” Sharon pandered around the room until she placed herself right in front of Ámbar. ”I’ve noticed… a certain behavior with you.”

”Ok?”

”I’ve noticed you’ve seemed to have some… intimate interactions with girls.”

Ámbar felt like her heart was gonna fall out. ”Uh- how- what?”

”You can’t hide anything from me, Ámbar. And I need to know if you feel any sort of attraction… towards girls.”

Ámbar just stared at her.

”Do you? Answer me, and don’t lie.”

Ámbar slowly nodded. ”I… I do. Yes.”

She wasn’t planning on just telling it like this. She was barely coming to terms with it herself. But… she did know she felt an attraction to girls. It was pretty obvious. 

Sharon was silent for a long while. Ámbar wasn’t sure what she would do with this information. She grew more anxious about it by the second. 

Finally, Sharon opened her mouth. 

”Very well.”

And with that, she walked out of the room and closed the door.

Ámbar just kept sitting on her chair, trying to process what just occurred. 

-

The end scene is a scene I’ve been wanting to do since the beginning. I didn’t know when exactly to put it in, but it felt perfect right now.

[callernumbereight]

I have a horrible anger problem. If I'm angry, or overwhelmed, or feel cornered I will say whatever will cut someone the deepest. No filter, go for the throat. At this point I know I have ruined friendships like this. I guess I'm just waiting to ruin my relationship. I'm trying to get better. It's hard. Everyday feels overwhelming. I am so upset with how my life is going. I feel myself retreating inward more. I am not feeling helpful, or kind. Just absorbed in whatever distractions I'm up to. I just rot my brain with TikTok until Im so high I don't care or I just fall asleep. How do you even apologize for saying hateful shit? You can't. I mean you can say the words but it doesn't make anyone feel better. You still hurt that person. I always do it to the person I'm most close to. I'm too scared to go back to therapy and everybody I know is also going through their own stuff. I feel like at the point of my life I can't feel okay about just dumping my trauma on everyone. It's really hard. And I never feel comfortable venting to my partner. It's not his fault. It's a lifelong problem for me. I was just hoping by this time in my life I would be more mentally stable. I guess it was a pipe dream. It always feels funny to vent like this on Tumblr. Just like the old days. Only I don't need to worry about anybody I know reading it. I mean, I know a big part about being human is having the ability to grow and change, but I don't know how to turn this part of my brain off. The part that reacts with teeth and claws. I've always been like this. I've always been mean. I guess I'm just aware of it now. I just don't know how other people do it. How do you not lash out at others?

[winderlylandchime]

The fact that he kind of dreamt your future fic is making me laugh so hard. He really is an idiot by day and a psychic by night. This also now made me excited for your future fic, can’t wait for when that comes around. I might fuck around and actually do give him fics to read ngl.

Also yes! When we first started watching the show, he did think that Gale looked a little bit like Ashton and it was the funniest thing ever to me. He did only talk about it in the pilot though. Btw I am so tempted to later on give him Gale’s out of the box interview to watch. He was asking me yesterday about the actors and if they still act and where are they and I didn’t answer because well, one of them abandoned his podcast so i don’t know what he’s up to and the other one we dont even know if he’s still alive since theres been no new photos. I do wonder how he will react when he finds out Gale is straight though because he mentioned to my neighbor and i did get the feeling that he thinks everyone is gay. So i am tempted to ask him questions about what all he thinks of the cast since his only introduction to them is the show.

And yes! He has been going on and on about Brian’s growth and how he’s changed since he clocked it around 4th episode. He is so happy that he’s growing and allowing himself to be happy and in love even if he doesn’t want to admit it, that i just know the second 5x01 will start, he will have a mental breakdown and it will be very valid of him.

Your celebrities/therapist story actually made me curious now because how can a famous celeb that is known everywhere, even get a therapist then omg. I had no clue this was kind of a thing. And yes! My brother would absolutely launch into it, he’d have pictures and everything ready for it. I mean his confidence when it comes to talking to everyone and anyone about anything in his life (usually interests and shit he’s done thats funny to him or in this case the show) is impressive as fuck but also for an innocent bystander like me? actually a nightmare to be around that. He truly doesn’t give a single fuck! He just tells anyone who will listen (not in a trauma dumping type of way but his interests and such? No shame) When he was in high school he made an entire poster presentation for his class to talk about his love for the movie School of Rock and HE DID IT BY SINGING A FAKE ROCK N ROLL SONG (id give anything to remember the lyrics). Mind you, the presentations was supposed to be about current events in the world and School of Rock came out like a year or two prior so it had no relation to the exercise and yet that didn’t stop him. So you best believe he would do the exact same for Gale or more importantly QAF/Brian. And as someone who does shy away from talking about qaf just because it is a lot, it is insane watching him talk about the show because he truly gives zero fucks. When we started watching the show, he was fully explaining to the nurses/doctors/anyone that would listen about how the show is AND HOW BRITIN MET! He TALKED ABOUT THE RIM JOB! I NEVER EVEN FUCKING TOLD YALL THAT! IMAGINE MY SHOCK WHEN HE RANDOMLY BROUGHT UP THE SHOW FOR THE FIRST TIME TO SOMEONE RANDOM! AND HE DECIDED TO DO IT BY BRINGING UP THE SEX SCENE! HE TALKED TO OTHER HUMANS ABOUT THE RIM JOB! So if you ever feel like maybe you’ve said a bit too much about something you like? Fear no more because my brother has for sure shared even more.

Dear sweet anon. I just signed onto tumblr on desktop and it looks like I never responded to this message?!?! It says it’s from 4 days ago.

I thought I did. I’m sorry <3 <3

I am still dying over all of this. Your brother has no embarrassment. Maybe we can all take a page from him (although don’t corner people at their place of work to discussing rimming, even fictional rimming).

[thespoliarium]

Rant Time, Story Time, Opening Up????

TW: Manipulation, suicide threats, grooming

Hey all, I just noticed that I've been noisy about this on Twitter and Instagram and not here... So, I really want to talk about it here.

Long story short, I was groomed. I know, it came to you as a shock (if it does) but it came to me as a shock as well. I didn't realize I was being groomed until my classmates pointed it out. Get this, my mom doesn't know.

A lot to unpack... Let's dive deep into the story, shall we?

So, around June last year, I posted something about Michael Palin. Unfortunately, Eric Idle thinks I shoved Michael in his face and thus...

I was so distraught, I really wanted to deactivate Twitter because I look up to this man. Decided just to go on Twitter hiatus and spend my days here on Tumblr. But then, a mutual (who is also Eric's mutual) reached out to me and checks if I'm okay. I was, but I was disappointed in Eric.

I really liked talking to him, he's pretty funny. Shares a mutual liking for Michael. Months, and months and his true personality shows. Can't deny, we were getting comfortable with each other. He tells me about his problems, and I do the same, and we try solving it.

Later, however, he started dumping it on me like I'm a washing machine. One of his true personalities was that he's selfish. There was one message that still baffles me to this day...

Take note, I was transitioning to a new school and his selfish side wants me to prioritize him. I get that he did consider it bad, but why would he think of it?

Oh, he's a John Cleese stan. Yuck.

Months passed, and there came the moment. He confessed that he liked me. Can't lie, I liked him too, but it's like a happy crush. That's real, and now that happy crush is gone.

Then, it came. He wants me to be his girlfriend and go on a virtual date with me, watch The Missionary together. Take note that I was 16 when he asked, and he was 19. As much as I don't want to, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I get that I have a fault there, I led him on until I was made to decline, but he was the reason I don't want to say what I want because he'll lash out on me again (say stuff like nobody likes me)

Also, there was one time he wanted to cut himself and I offered him help, but he keeps on declining. It was one of those only times I gave up on him. So, I let him do what he wants, I'm not his mother. When he came back, he said...

I will not also deny the good things he did for me like supporting me during the play, complimenting my outfits, also sometimes they get creepy, also liking my laugh, which I find also creepy at times, especially when it's out of the blue.

However, when that day came... He left. I was super excited to tell him about what happened, and he left. He told me that, and I accepted it, leaving me to focus completely on the play.

The next day, however, he came back. Somehow, he came back. Probably because I already had my flowers. And he kept on saying sorry. We were doing well and fine until the next day... When he sent 4 chat bubbles worth of a vent. Saying that I'm playing with his feelings.

I woke up to those messages and we fought the entire morning and I cut it off. I've had enough of him and his trauma dumping skills.

Decided to open up to my classmates about this and they pointed it out to me that I was groomed. Decided to open up about it on Twitter, and guess what? He tried to reach me. In 3 different accounts.

Fought for my entire life that night! And I took down the post... But he posted his side anyway.

I was shivering that night, but thanks to my good Filipino moots they attacked him. It was a battle as it unfolded, calling him a manipulator, a groomer, and all that. The winner? Them. He took down his post.

I still have some friends that are his friends.

It's been 4 months since all of this happened, yet it still haunts me to this day. Can't believe I wasted my energy on him!

"Viviene, it's been 4 months, move on." Until his friends and my friends realize all the things he had done to me, I will never know peace.

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

u guys ever hold two loose conversations + reading a fic at once and so you jump back to reading for a sec while u wait for a response, but then one of the conversations is like mostly ended so you're like 'hmm should i go check discord to see if they've replied' and decide nah not yet bc you forgot the other conversation was happening and so you accidentally ghost your friend for like 10 minutes? yeah.

pari if u see this i'm sorry

good fic though!!! it's one i read like a year ago and subscribed to and i got a new chapter email today so i'm rereading :]

i also got another honedge with the poketwo bot :D my collection grows

pajama day today but like i was cute <3

also that made it easy for me to take a lil sort of nap this afternoon which was nice

air fried some steak fries + ate cold peas + homemade turkey sandwich + my dad brought me a sonic pretzel = good lunch

we had homemade pizza for dinner and it was SO good ahhhh

i had a klondike bar :]

i've been going through theamandafiles' AC playlist for the past few months and i just reached her collaboration with sherb,,,, she's so funny and fascinating y'all aksjdfa;slkdfs;ldk <3

also i started watching steven universe !! they really just dump you in no context learn as you go huh

i've heard SU future addresses his trauma and WOW he really needs it. i watched like 6 episodes and he's had his life threatened in like all of them 😭 the cat fingers one was not life threatening but was quite traumatic i'm sure. someone put this kid in therapy

it's neat so far though <3

scrolled a lot through this one person's tumblr so have fun seeing all the posts i queued from them tomorrow a;lfdjad <33 i had fun reading them

listened to glass animals with rac and percy!!!! that was so nice :]] i didn't understand hardly any of the lyrics i was just vibing

[maximumsunshine]

Like I'm cautiously willing to be horny on main as i sort out whatever the fuck my actual sexuality is. I've been calling myself acespec for years because it was far easier than explaining that i don't know what i am beyond trapped in a bad marriage and sex repulsed but not *really* sex repulsed just a germophobe and body fluid shy. But like, i ended my bad marriage 2.5 years ago and have been celibate since and it's working out great. Except i picked up the hobby of reading romance novels and I'm uh anyway. Still celibate but kind of suffering. I've also been calling myself a lesbian for years and i think i mostly am. But one exception turned into more than one exception is turning into I'm probably bi but really really picky about men due to my super bad marriage. (Though she came out as a trans woman at the end but she was still like 8 inches taller than me, used her height against me, and used to bellow at me with a deep voice while standing way too close to comfort. So she is a real woman, of course, but she did serious damage that had the effect of making me scared of people who are taller than me and have deep voices. I'm also pretty picky about women. But mostly i just like people who would never tower over me and shout down at me. Anyway. Not to trauma dump. But I'm trying to sort out what type of queer I am while also like just super super horny. And I've been having almost nightly explicit and vivid sex dreams. Which are normal and healthy. And not really of note. Except last night's was fucking hilarious (pun intended) and in ways that i could 100% share it on tumblr without having to share like the sex itself. And i totally would too because it's so fucking funny! (Pun still intended.) Except the person it was about is on tumblr and could find the post. And while i make no apologies for the sex dream I'm not like going to tell the person i had the dream. And the punchline of why it's so fucking funny is 100% dependent on y'all knowing who i was seducing in the dream. Which no.

No.

But it's killing me.

Anyway, I'm going back to laying face down in this creek, if anyone needs me.

I had the FUNNIEST vivid and explicit sex dream last night about someone I'm not naming but who is on tumblr and i have this hilarious rant about it (that leaves out the actual details of daid sex) locked and loaded and it's like the highlight of what have been a rough couple of days. But i can't like guarantee this person would never ever see it and the name drop is like 90% of the humor. So alas.

[steal-yourdadsgender]

Story Time

so, I think I accidentally came out to my mother as asexual today. I was updating my instagram bio and put in “Putting the ace in disgrace” as one does, with the whole matching flag emojis and everything. And I know my mother follows me, but my brain completely forgot to mention to me that she could actually see my account. So, I’m pretty sure my mother knows now and just not mentioning it.