#trauma center spoilers

[scuffle-with-spirals]

I swear people don't talk about the shit that just happens in DS visual novels enough. Like yeah okay we lawyering but you better get this parrot to cough it up on the stand. Hey let's do a detective story but have the presentation be just one of the most impressive uses of the hardwares capabilites and be the most visually interesting shit ever just because. Yes you are a surgeon slicing and dicing and laser beaming the fucking patient but can you disarm a bomb

[its-a-me-mango]

YOU CANNOT USE ANYTHING RELATED TO TRAUMA CENTER AROUND ME AND EXPECT ME TO FOCUS ON ANYTHING ELSE, THIS IS ALL THAT HAPPENED, THIS WAS THE WHOLE EPISODE.

[dravidious]

In Trauma Team the surgeon is this emotionless cool guy and whenever he finishes an operation he say "Let this disease pass from this world" and that's really cool and badass and stuff. But then a person gets caught in an explosion and needs surgery. For explosion injuries. And when the surgeon guy finishes he says the thing. "Let this disease pass from this world." The disease of Explosion. Incredible.

[ct-multifandom]

Trauma Center chapter 1: we have to pull broken glass out of a car accident victim’s arm

Trauma Center chapter 10: we have to cure Hinamizawa Syndrome

[fiona-fififi]

Gonna go 911 negative for a minute, so look away if you're not into that.

But I am bothered by the focus on Buck with Gerrard in the new description. I mean, I generally understand why Buck would struggle with Gerrard when Bobby's gone and Buck has recently realized he's bisexual. But it bothers me so SO much that they have brought back Gerrard (and Tommy, though it's obviously a little different from the Gerrard bullshit—but still TWO characters from that same era) and don't seem to be doing anything at all with the fact that Gerrard totured Hen and Chimney because he's a racist, homophobic, misogynistic piece of shit. Like HOW have Hen and Chimney not been incorporated into this story in any significant way yet??

And maybe they will be. It's just concerning to me that Buck is the only one with the mention in regards to Gerrard. Which could well mean nothing—they do often provide episode and season descriptions that separate each character and give them a line that doesn't fully reflect the extent to which other characters are involved in their storylines.

But it is making me uncomfortable nonetheless. :/

[eggy-tea]

For a movie featuring basically zero explicitly queer characters, Across the Spider-Verse was pretty fucking queer.

[revo-depresso]

THIS FUCK RIGHT HERE BEING AGENT 4 ⬇️

[kacievvbbbb]

I finally got around to watching Arcane’s final part and like all parts it’s so beautiful. It really is. But Arcane kinda has the same problem with MHA for me as in the ending is actually pretty satisfying but how we get there could have been so much better.

Don’t get me wrong MHA’s problems were seasons in the making. Arcane actually suffers from the opposite problem there just wasn’t enough time. Like I don’t know why they felt Arcane should be a 2 season show I can only hope it wasn’t a studio pulling the strings (I want to say Netflix would never but yes they would no other company so against the idea of success like them)

But yeah not that Arcane couldn’t have been a 2 season show the 1st season wraps up its main conflicts pretty nicely honestly if not for the cliffhanger and some other lingering plot lines it could have been a good stand alone. But there was just soooooo much happening in season 2. With season one at the core of the story no matter what craziness happened at its core it was about the tragedy of 2 sisters and that was its grounding piece. Season 2 just had nothing like that. It could have been Jayce and Viktor with how that’s kind of the main conflict? This season and given the resolution but Jayce is barely in the thing 😭. They have one moment together and then don’t really interact again until the final part. I just needed more honestly form every relationship.

The only relationship I felt was kind of properly developed was Isha and Jinx (even tho they kind of dropped the ball a bit after she died) but like you actually kind of see that relationship grow. I wish we got more of heiminger and ekko’s new proffesor student relationship (u wish we got more of ekko period honestly) ekko has a way of barely being in the season and then pulling up at the most important moment for a huge blow out in the final part. I just think it would have made Heimidinger’s (I am butchering this name forgive me) sacrifice for ekko more meaniful (not that I don’t think he wouldn’t have literlaly done that for anyone but it would have been nice to see that relationship develop in particular them getting lost in time together and all)

And the getting lost in the multiverse/time thing was really good I really liked it. It needed to be more than 1 episode. I wish we could have really sat with it. The horrors Jayce was experiencing and this new reality that ekko is faced with (like don’t get me wrong for one episode they did a lot and it’s so beautiful it would have just hit harder if it was longer)

Don’t even get me started on Mel and the black rose I still do not understand what that was all about. That definetly needed a whole season dedicated to just that and not (I hate to use the word shoved) but shoved in as a C plot to Viktor’s cult.

For a season they (hopefully) knew going in that this would be their last they were trying to accomplish so much in just 9 episodes like yes they are about an hour each but they are still just 9 episodes. Honestly we don’t even spend enough time with maddy to care about her betrayal. I felt more about Ambessa’s right hand’s death because at least he’s kind of been a steady presence through out the season. I don’t know what was going on with Loris. I though he would have more to do they kept giving him little moments where it felt like he knew more than he was letting on but I guess not? He really was just some guy?…..well okay.

I love the Vander reunion I love it so much the fight was epic the resolution was epic god the fucking memory sequence with the water color kill me now. But again I wish we had more time we just got him back and now we are losing him again drag that shit out really make it hurt twist the knife deeper give us a couple episodes let us truly believe that everything might be okay and then throw that shit in our face that would have hit so much harder. (Well that’s just me though)

There’s was so much happening this season. It all felt like build up it felt like build up till literlaly the last 30 minutes of the show. It just felt like there was no proper middle the show just kept building and building and then tried to cram ever resolution in the last 2 hours. (I know they didn’t fully reveal the what the Black Rose drama was because of this Noxian show they are planning but I don’t know I just didn’t like how they left things 😭 Mel was barely in the season and then she’s back and there’s so much left unsaid and 😭😭😭)

I might be in the minority but I just really didn’t know what to make of Jinx’s arc. Like I can see the parallels and the beauty of it but at the same time it just didn’t click for me. I know she’s probably not dead like I’m not even going to pretend she is. But yeah. Same with Vi honestly. Vi felt so passive this season shes just kind of being led around.

I just think the pain problem this season was that there was no central story. There was no grounding piece that the story all revolves around. And I hate to be an advocate of taking stories centered around women and focusing on the men there but Giving how it ended (and honestly I’m not mad at it) and just the whole hectech being at the center of it all this season, it should have been Jayce and Viktor their relationship should have taken center stage they should have been this seasons Powder/Jinx and Vi the parallels are literally already there. One being consumed by everything they thought they wanted but not like this and the other still after everything trying desperately to reach them (mostly through a lot of violence) they even have the falling out like Vi and Powder did at the end of the first part. But their relationship just wasn’t explored enough for me to really say it was the center of the season. It would also flow well with the general established conflict Vander and Silco mirroring Jinx and Vi mirroring Jayce and Viktor (I personally don’t ship them nor do I think of them as overtly sibling coded I can just see the parallels it is not my fault the other characters are either siblings or heavily sibling coded 😭 but don’t come for me)

Honestly the most developed relationship this season was Cait and Jinx and that mirror they hold up to each other as blue haired girlies manipulated by desperation grief and power. And I enjoyed that. Caitlyn in general got a lot of good screen time this season that I love taht for her.

I don’t want to harp on about the negative because there was so much that I loved about arcane it is such a beautiful story and I know the story isn’t technically finished atleast I don’t think so and maybe mine and everybody’s expectations where impossible to live up to. But I do still genuinely think it is one of the best pieces of television out there and all in all it was a truly amazing season of television that we were so lucky to experience.

Also the music was just straight banger after banger. Like Whoever curated that playlist? You need a raise like asap.

[flavored-soda]

i have so many thoughts on the recent episode, but y’all ain’t ready for those yet.

however,

i will still be writing bucktommy fics and buddietommy fics

[antirepurp]

as much as i love stone ocean im just so bummed that we didn't get an explicitly queer reading of jolyne because anasui was changed from a woman to a man before his proper introduction. anasui being a woman wouldn't of course change the weirdly unfitting romantic dynamic he and jolyne were shoved into at the last minute (i do think they have a dynamic it's just infinitely more interesting from a platonic perspective) and like i've mentioned before at worst it would play into the predatory lesbian stereotype today but i would've been much more okay with jolyne ending up together with a woman by the end, and i don't think it's just because of my own biases. i think it could've played into the growth she goes through in stone ocean, even in a kind of poetic sense with stone ocean starting with jolyne going through one of the worst break-ups with her then-boyfriend, getting over her daddy issues over the course of the story which helps her stand on her own and not seek the approval of others constantly, and by the end finding love with another woman who truly and genuinely cherishes and cares about her. it's not like jojo as a series is void of queer themes anyway, so something like it wouldn't have been terribly out of place in the grand scheme of things, and it's gonna be hard for me to not think about this whenever i look at the unfortunate wet poodle that is narciso anasui

[lunarrolls]

the phrase “volta arc” does not mean anything to anyone except like two other people whom i’ve had this discussion with but i will just say that last night ashton started their volta arc and i cried so hard

[ballsballsbowls]

About ten years ago, when my mother and I were hanging out together, the topic of their 50th wedding anniversary came up.

“Look at me,” she said, grabbing my arm. She dug her fingers in a little. “Look at me. DO NOT throw us an anniversary party. Do not do it.”

It’s their 50th anniversary this year and I don’t remember much but I DO remember that moment.

[its-a-me-mango]

YOU CNANNT USE TRAUMA CENTER SECOND OPINION MUSIC AORUND ME AND NOT HAVE ME GO INSANE AND CRAZY ALL AT THE SAME TIME IM GOING TO TRHWO UP EVERYWHERE THIS ISN'T A JOKE I'M PHYSICALY ILL NOW I LOVE TRAUMA CENTER SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS DOES TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE

[mediacircuspod]

This scene was absolutely beautiful BUT it’s also the crux of the issue. You guys this is where the problems start. Because—because Crowley’s already cast out, he finds COMFORT in the idea that they are lonely together. “As far as he can” becoming “as far as they can” is an END to his complete “otherness” and something to appreciate, to covet, and to find solace in. He’s finally not alone.

But—and this is important.

Aziraphale does NOT feel that. He can’t.

This moment is completely and utterly devastating for Zira. He finds out he’s not damned and sure, he’s relieved. But he’s no longer “an Angel” in the way that he’s learned is right. He’s now unchangeably and forever; less holy—a concept that is dearly important to his identity. “[Going] along with heaven as far as he can” is a FAILING on his part. Not heaven’s(at least to him). There is no solace or comfort—he finds existence like that—just the two of them—achingly LONELY. And that’s just how his perspective demands to be taken. It’s the only perspective he is capable of in that moment AND after it, too.

Take into account Crowley has went from having no one AT ALL to having SOMEONE. And he puts EVERYTHING he has into it. This is not good. It’s unfair to Aziraphale. And it’s unfair to himself. On the opposite side, you have Aziraphale. Who has just went from having the ENTIRE HEAVENLY HOST, to having this SINGLE demon— who, one minute ago, Aziraphale thought would be dragging him off to hell.

And the part that aches is that this perspective hasn’t changed. Aziraphale feels like his existence is lacking because he wants so badly to be GOOD. And good is Holy. Good is heavenly. He’s the problem for having morals that are misaligned.

Spoilers for the last episode:

Aziraphale has just been given the validation that he is not only GOOD but the most HEAVENLY Angel there is, the Supreme Archangel, even. And if heavens morals are now HIS morals, then that’s EVERY PROBLEM SOLVED. With a bow even, because Crowley’s basically on heavens side anyway, he’s GOOD, isn’t he? He’s been good this whole time, so why wouldn’t heaven want him back? Reinstating him as Angel would fix everything. They can be together, and they can be good, and they can be HOLY. All Aziraphale’s conflicting emotions about loving Crowley can be packed away because Crowley will be perfect again—and surely Crowley wants to be perfect—wants to be forgiven.(sorry everyone, that hurt me too, oof) Aziraphale is SHOCKED by Crowley’s refusal. He’s devastated that his version of perfect is treated as something naive and distasteful.

Crowley’s devastated too. He’s just lost “their side”. A concept that for 5000+ years has been THE ONLY THING he puts love into besides his car and perhaps his plants(And humanity, but he’ll never admit to that—I’m looking at the “No more dying” scene). Crowley is constantly being devastated by Aziraphale. He’s “too fast”, he’s too evil, he’s too good sometimes. Crowley has always been TOO MUCH. But this is different because for four years, he’s had “them”(on their own side) without the hiding, and without the denial and without Aziraphale constantly putting former jobs between them. PLUS he has a mountain of trauma centered around the concept of “forgiveness”, so that’s not great considering Aziraphale’s last words to him(THAT HE HASNT SAID ALL SEASON EVEN WHEN HE MADE CROWLEY APOLOGIZE IN THE FIRST EPISODE, AHHHHH). He’s losing everything and he’s desperate: Why isn’t he enough, hasn’t he been enough these last 4 years? Hasn’t HE been enough the last 6000?

Aziraphale has always been enough for Crowley. But being enough for Crowley doesn’t fix how Aziraphale has never been enough for himself, not since Job. He looks at this offer as a chance for HIM to be enough, and for Crowley to be FORGIVEN. Crowley looks at it as a betrayal because it’s Aziraphale saying Crowley ISNT enough, and he NEVER has been.

But that’s not what Aziraphale is saying. He’s saying, “Let me fix it for you”. Crowley is hearing, “Let me fix you for it.” Two completely different and completely horrifying concepts.

And then Crowley needs to say HIS piece(oh my gosh, btw, this was heartbreaking).

“Let’s be together on our terms” is basically what I’ve distilled it down to. But Aziraphale hears, “Let’s run away from our problems”

Aziraphale doesn’t want to run away, and Crowley doesn’t want to change who he is.

They both want to be together so badly but they don’t understand why they each want it so differently. And Aziraphale can’t compromise because he’s brainwashed and LOATHES himself. And Crowley can’t compromise because he’s traumatized and LOVES Aziraphale just as he is. Crowley doesn’t want to be good on heavens terms. He can see Heaven for what it is; “toxic”. He hates heaven not only for what the Host did to him, but for HOW THEY TREATED Aziraphale.

They both don’t understand each other because for all the pleading and presenting and monologuing, they never once in that whole conversation, actually talked.

[andrewwtca]

on Sephiroth's manipulation of Cloud (an analysis)

— Rebirth + OG FF7 spoilers

how Rebirth tackled puppet Cloud is so unique and so so good, and I just needed to talk about it. first things first, let’s talk about what Sephiroth means by ‘puppet.’

throughout the OG FF7 and Rebirth, Sephiroth refers to Cloud as a ‘puppet.’ it may seem strange at first glance, because it seems to imply that Sephiroth is manually taking control of Cloud, puppeteering him or that Cloud is inherently empty.

it also doesn’t fit with his encouragement of Cloud’s rage. if Cloud is a puppet, why doesn’t Sephiroth just give him rage?

because that’s not what he means. when Sephiroth calls Cloud a puppet, he means that Cloud’s mind can easily be shaped, similar to how a puppet’s identity is dependent on its master. he says that what Cloud feels is fake because Cloud’s mind is a collage of identities, his own and Zack’s, all with Jenova’s and Sephiroth’s influence. Cloud’s feelings are just his master’s feelings.

Cloud’s mind is malleable. he is his own person, the real Cloud Strife is there, but due to the self-esteem issues he’s harbored since childhood and the trauma he’s endured for the past five years, the presenting Cloud Strife can greatly differ. Sephiroth is intensely aware of this, and takes advantage of it.

the persona we see of Cloud is his SOLDIER persona, the tough badass he always wanted to be, a mixture of his interpretation of Zack and his interpretation of being a hero. but the facade cracks quickly and frequently, in either direction. mostly, it cracks to let us see the real Cloud. there’s no one single moment where he shines through: Cloud taking on odd jobs with no real gain other than him helping someone, Cloud doing something stupid and silly, Cloud getting flustered. all the moments of him being kind and dorky is the real Cloud shining through. it’s impossible for Cloud to bury all of himself beneath his persona, so these cracks are only natural. however, the other cracks in his persona are due to Sephiroth’s manipulation.

in Rebirth, Cloud kills multiple people on multiple occasions—one can argue because they were Shinra, they deserved it, but that doesn’t change the fact that Cloud isn’t a killer. even his SOLDIER persona accommodates his desire to help people; so how does he kill people so easily? if you answered Sephiroth, you get a prize!

Sephiroth manipulates his SOLDIER persona in two ways: feeding into ideals and planting ideas. for the first, he (off-screen) encourages violent and/or anti-social behavior in Cloud. while we, the player, and everyone around him views this as strange, in Cloud’s mind, it all fits into what he’s supposed to be. he’s supposed to be a badass, and badasses kill people and dismiss their friends’ feelings, right?

when Cloud is in this mental state, it’s very hard to reason with him. in Chapter 13 (one of the greatest pieces of puppet Cloud literature), Cloud’s entire goal is to reach the center of the Temple in order to acquire the Black Materia. he doesn’t listen to any warnings that the Cetra give or his teammates, becoming wholly focused on retrieving it. but even then, even if Cloud’s behavior doesn’t seem strange to him, why does he want the Black Materia?

that’s due to Sephiroth’s other form of manipulation: planting ideas. it’s easy to force Cloud to become violent because it fits the narrative of badass SOLDIER, but lots of other ideas need time to nourish. case-in-point: Tifa isn’t the real one.

we are introduced to this idea at the very beginning of the game, Cloud walking through the inn at Kalm when he sees Sephiroth who tells him that this Tifa isn’t the real one. the conflict seems to become resolved when Cloud repeats the idea to Tifa who completely dismisses it, but they’re nowhere out of the woods.

next, Sephiroth in Chapter 5 instills the idea that Jenova is capable of impersonation. this doesn’t seem to go anywhere until Chapter 9.

first, Cloud enters that intensified SOLDIER state-of-mind, killing all the Shinra troopers around him. with his mind already fragile, Sephiroth repeating the idea to him now becomes fact: Tifa isn’t real. she is an imposter from Jenova. both the ideas Cloud’s been fed are twisted and he pushes Tifa off the edge.

Cloud snaps out of this state of mind right after, but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. as long as Sephiroth plays his cards right, he can manipulate Cloud into doing nearly everything for him. hence, the ‘puppet’ label.

(that’s also why Cloud wants the Black Materia. Sephiroth tells Cloud to bring him the Black Materia—and even if Cloud doesn’t want to, the thought is engraved in his head that he should retrieve it for Sephiroth.)

but here’s what’s really special. as we’ve noted, the intensified SOLDIER persona is violent, anti-social, just an all around dick. he doesn’t care about his friends, doesn’t care about anything except getting what he wants (see: what Sephiroth wants.)

but we see something very different at the end of Chapter 13. Cloud isn’t rude and dismissive. he pushes Tifa, but he doesn't do it with the same malice as in Chapter 9. he does it in an attempt just to get her away, just to chase after the Black Materia.

in his pursuit of Aerith, the things he says are the farthest thing from rude. he’s not threatening or demanding her to stop. he’s asking her to talk, appealing to her desire to trust him and save the planet, even starts calling her name in a teasing way like he’s playing a game.

Aerith! Let's talk. I need it... Aerith... Give it to me. Please? You can trust me. Let's save the planet together. (playfully) Aerith.

when Aerith finally gives him the Black Materia, what does Cloud do? he could just walk away. he could just run straight to Sephiroth. but, no—he makes sure to say “thank you” first.

it’s pathetic (I type this in the most endearing way) the way Cloud acts. why is that? what is the difference between these types of manipulation? the answer is who Sephiroth manipulates. for the most part, Sephiroth manipulates SOLDIER Cloud. but here, Sephiroth breaks through Cloud’s SOLDIER persona to manipulate the real Cloud.

we know when we see the real Cloud: if you need a refresher, anytime Cloud is kind or acts like a dork is usually a tell-tale sign. here, Cloud is kind, saying please and thank you. and it’s almost cute, the way he playfully calls out to Aerith. this is the real Cloud, buried under piles of piles of trauma, self-hatred, and alternative personas.

and what is the real Cloud’s utmost desire? to love and be loved. he wants to be a hero, to be worthy of the ones he holds dear; no, to be worthy of anyone. this is a big factor into Cloud’s construction of his SOLDIER persona, he creates himself that hero mask that he thinks will lead to the love he craves.

Sephiroth knows this, and twists his desire to be a hero to a desire to please Sephiroth at all costs. Cloud is still himself, but he wants to make Sephiroth happy no matter what. Sephiroth wants the Black Materia? then Sephiroth will get the Black Materia.

that’s what’s so heartbreaking (and deliciously good) about Rebirth’s depiction of puppet Cloud. he’s not hollow and empty. he’s desperate. this is the most of the real Cloud we get to see. we see fragments of him, but here is the longest consecutive period. this is the realest he acts in the game, kind and silly and so fucking desperate for love, for Sephiroth’s approval.

in short, Sephiroth knows exactly how and when to break Cloud. he knows how and when to manipulate SOLDIER Cloud and he knows how and when to manipulate the real Cloud. this is why Sephiroth calls him a puppet: as long as he plays to Cloud’s desire for approval and love, he can puppeteer him in every direction.

thank you for reading! I hope you learned something new or just understand Cloud better. Cloud is such a fascinating character and Sephiroth really brings out the most pathetic parts of him ❤️ here's to hoping Cloud gets all the love he wants

[nachosncheeze]

so i put a tagramble (oop pls forgive me?????) but i'm too verbose and it cut me off so just to add the concluding thoughts were

i like this kind of thing both bc it forces me to really think outside my la la la not listening box which is honestly fantastic for my writing

and it's JUST PLAIN INTERESTING besides

so thank you thank you for writing and sharing and now resharing 😍

I got a PM on fanfiction.net asking what I thought of the ending.

This is what I ended up rambling in response, and it’s so damn long that I figured I might as well make it a blog post.

Please note that I really don’t want people to keep telling me reasons that Jane must have lived. In my heart, I don’t believe that Jane lived. You can keep giving me reasons, but it’s not going to change what my gut reaction is. So I would really prefer it if any responses to this didn’t tell me no one leaves bodies in Times Square, or anything like that. The American foster system would never let Jane the ex-terrorist foster any children, either, if you want to go into realism territory - and definitely not within a year of applying…

Anyway, with that said, I really am happy that so many people are happy with the ending. There were a lot of scenes that I liked in it, and that I can find squee in. But overall, I’m just see-sawing between underwhelmed and downright depressed, and this is why:

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