#trappedinafantasy37

[majorasnightmare]

Now I got some for you! 1, 11, and 13. I know next to nothing about your Durge and I need to know them!

ITS REAL DURGEPOSTIN HOURS TONIGHT!! YEAAAAAAAAAA (or. dirgeposting if you will. hehehehe)

btw i love reading about daedra 💜💜💜 ive been having a blast reading all of those!!

1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Dirge is a Great Old One Warlock, specifically pacted with the eldritch entity Caiphon. The catalyst was ironically Gortash, as dealing with Enver forced Dirge out of the temple more regularly and for longer periods. Dirge had a very isolating childhood, and once he was out more regularly, his own general lack of knowledge disgusted him. Seeking to "better himself" to "better fulfill his Father's goals", Dirge began obsessively pursuing knowledge of all kinds (and post tadpoling is a bit of a trivia freak because of it. ask him a question and wait two minutes and theres at least a 75% chance he'll know the answer as the information bubbles into his mind); in reality Dirge was pursuing his own autonomy with frantic zeal. Through Gortash he had glimpsed a different world than one bent in service to his Father, and though he rationalized it away, he yearned for it with a worldshaking intensity.

Going strictly into fanon territory here, as a warlock main through and through, im of the opinion that warlocks are born, not made. Theres some intrinsic quirk of the soul that, in the endless sweeps of human misery, catches the eye of a patron. Mechanically, its the warlocks Charisma stat, their strength of personality, but flavorwise its an undefinable something about them that draws a patron near. And most often than not, it is a want so visceral and heartrending as to have its own siren call. Such was it with Dirge. No matter how much knowledge he acquired, or how often he applied it, it was never enough. There was a deep seated need that refused to be fulfilled, a hunger never satisfied. And it called out beyond the bloodied depths of his souls out beyond the pale horizon, to a kindred spirit. The Violet Star of Knowledge. Caiphon.

I always tend to frame this aspect of Dirge's story as something like a fairytale, because it almost plays out like one. Drawn to the horizon by the call of Dirge's endless desire, Caiphon's invisible weight upon the fabric of fate draws knowledge of it into Dirge's lap, who then follows the obsessive trail right to the knowing of Caiphon's summoning. One moonless night, witness only by Gortash, Dirge pursues Caiphons power under the reasoning that the strength he gains will allow him to finally fulfill Bhaal's wish of killing the world. Speaking Caiphon's true eldritch name aloud rends his mouth asunder and claws at his throat and face, but Dirge persists despite the agony. Summoned by both Rite and Yearning, Caiphon crosses over from There to Here, its body an indescribable being of burning light (its form as the Violet Star revealed to be the color its light is perceived as once its cooled and stretched over the vast distance between Toril and The Far Realms), to grant Dirge's Wish Upon A Star. A being so beyond mortal preconception burns and blisters ones very mind to Know of It, but it nonetheless reaches into the bottomless depths of Dirge's soul to unearth the fervent Desire that had bridged the gap between them. There in the privacy of an eldritch embrace, free from Bhaal's gaze for the first time in his life, Dirge gives voice to the true wish held within for his entire life. Freedom.

The price for Dirge's pact is simple: Caiphon will claim his eye, and Dirge will house a fragment of the being within his own mind. From such a perch, Caiphon will observe whatever it wishes from Dirge's experiences, and communicate as it pleases within Dirge's mind. And until the circumstances are right for the conditions of pact to be fulfilled, Dirge will have access to whatever power he can claim mastery of. Dirge agrees, and Caiphons light scorches his eye, blackening his scelera and infusing his iris with its strange luminescence.

The two of them get on amicably, and both of them feel like theyre kind of ripping off the other. Caiphon got front row seats to the entirety of the Absolute plot and its subsequent destruction, and the contents of the Necromancy of Thay besides, and all it gave Dirge for the most part was some measly eldritch blasts. On Dirge's end he got a handheld eldritch shotgun that turns people into paste even at pointblank, and a plethora of broken magic bullshit besides, all in return for 14 consecutive mental breakdowns and a really messy situationship he never QUITE resolved. Theyre both inclined to be more generous to the other because of this. Caiphons ritual required a Witness to be conducted, but dont ask Gortash because hes spent the subsequent years trying to bleach it out of his memories

11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

and after THAT novel, this one is a LOT shorter LMAO

Dirge hates acting erratically, and LOATHES feeling like he isnt in control of himself. Pre Tadpole he Resisted the Urge so he didnt accidentally compromise his schemes to fulfill Bhaal's goals, and Post Tadpoling he doesnt like not being in control of when and who he kills, and after Act 2 the very idea just FEELS violating. Resisting the Urge is just how his particular paranoias about Being Himself will inevitably play out, over and over

13. How does your Dark Urge feel about killing?

LOVES it, its the only thing that gets him up in the morning (hes stopped being a morning person since acquiring a disabling brain injury 💔). Pre tadpoling he viewed it as a holy calling he took religious fervor in, an affirmation of faith and a reward for it all in one, and a divine responsibility besides. Post Tadpoling, its just his favorite activity. Hes good at it, it feels nice, and he isnt morally opposed to it so why not? He never properly develops empathy sympathy or compassion for other people, so they remain the same talking meatbags as in his bhaaltist days. He only ever really abstains out of convenience or for the sake of people he DOES care about, or to resist the influence of the Urge. He delights in every aspect of it, the mess and the effort and the gore, and he can be a bit of a sadist about it.

He stops trying to be normal about anything when it becomes abundantly clear that the killing urges wont Get Better, so anytime around or after the exploration of the Underdark, Dirge just kind of openly indulges his love of viscera, burying his face in carcasses, licking blood off daggers and other weapons (and sometimes people), and delighting in particularly messy kills. He very obviously is only restrained from being Worse by the influence of Karlach and Wyll lmao

👇 he accidentally killed a githyanki teenager here LMAO

[trappedinafantasy37]

Master Fic Post

I figured that since I've written a lot, I'd create a bit of a master post to create easy access links to the things that I've written for those interested. These things will be scattered both on Tumblr and AO3. A mass majority of these will involve Minthara, but not all of them. A mass majority of them will also include my OC, Daedra. But, not all of them. This post will be frequently updated as I write new stuff, and I currently have a few ideas bouncing around my head right now.

Minthara Kiss Appreciation Day!

FICS

To Be Free From the Gods (AO3) - Complete

One Shots and Side Stories (AO3) - supplementary to To Be Free From the Gods, Complete

I Want This One (AO3) - in progress

Guilty Parties (AO3) - in progress

SHADOWHEART ORIGIN PLAYTHROUGH

The Story so Far (Tumblr) - complete -> Act 1, Act 2, Act 3

Playthrough Updates (Tumblr) - complete

The Grove Raid

The Shadow Curse Lands and rescuing Minthara

The Creche and Act 1 Shenaninanigans

Act 2 Shenaninanigans

The Gauntlet of Shar

Moonrise and End of Act 2

Beginning of Act 3

Rivington

More Rivington Shenaninanigans

Bhaal Stuff

The Wizard

Speedrun

The Foundry and Gortash

Orin

Doomsday

SIDE STORIES

The Knock Out Exploit (AO3)

Masters of Chaos (AO3)

Night Orchids (Tumblr)

NSFW

Heat of the Moon (AO3) - Shadowheart x Minthara

Rekindling (AO3) - Shadowheart x Minthara

[scuttlingcrab]

To the Hells and Back

Night Terrors

Summary: Defeating the Elder Brain was supposed to be triumphant, but it was the day Minthara’s world spun out of control. After watching Karlach burn before her eyes, Minthara swore an oath of vengeance against the Archdevil Zariel. She would not rest until she personally smited that vile infernal creature into oblivion. However, navigating the Hells is by no means an easy task, and Minthara is soon forced to make an unexpected alliance if she is to get there in one piece.

Link to my other work in the Devil's Archive.

Chapter 01 on AO3 as well.

(Image via trappedinafantasy37)

The sky was ablaze as nautiloid ships fell in clusters, coasting towards the earth like meteors. Mortal screams echoed throughout the neighbouring landscape, their cries becoming a symphony of despair. 

Minthara never thought the end of the world would be so magnificent. More ships groaned as they pushed past the orange-coloured clouds, her lips pulling into a tight smirk. She stood on a dock overlooking the River Chionthar, shielding her eyes from the sun as she tracked the nautiloids’ descent. The cursed sunlight blinded her still, despite all her time living on the surface. Minthara shut her eyes, attempting to rub away the brightness and the stinging that came with it. She wouldn’t dare miss even one ship crashing. She basked in the Mind Flayer’s demise, each wreckage signifying the bittersweet obliteration of the Absolute. 

Silence suddenly enveloped her, as if all the sounds in the vicinity had been sucked up into an abyss. Her temples throbbed, a sharp ringing radiating through her skull. Her eyelids remained heavy, no matter how hard she tried to open them. The atmosphere shifted instantly, her chest tightening. Her breaths came in short and erratic bursts, as if she was about to run out of air at any second.

She eventually managed to peel her eyes open, squinting through her fingers. As the world came back into focus, Minthara’s mouth dropped. 

The nautiloids weren’t moving as fast as they should have. In fact, as Minthara stared up at the sky, she soon realised they were frozen, floating oddly above her.

Peculiar. 

“Soldier…” A whisper came from behind, shattering the stillness. The cadence was familiar, tickling her memory.

Minthara spun around, coming face-to-face with Karlach. Her Karlach . The most remarkable, ruthless, and passionate mortal being she had ever known - ever dared to love so fervently. 

Karlach smiled softly, locking Minthara’s gaze. She was stunning, her fiery eyes piercing through every layer of Minthara’s armour, stripping away all senses of composure as it reached the depths of her very soul. 

What was she… 

Karlach reached towards Minthara, cupping her face delicately in calloused hands. The touch radiated warmth into Minthara’s skin and she allowed herself to melt into her palms.  

“You a…” Minthara began, wanting nothing more than to proclaim her undying devotion to Karlach a thousand times over but she was cut short, words dissolving from her lips. 

Karlach winced, her entire form bursting into a rush of flames. She howled in agony, her chest glowing brighter, angrier, pulsating rapidly, the fire around her matching its intensity. 

The engine…

The air twisted and warped, burning along with Karlach. Minthara clutched her, trying to sooth her, calm her. Save her. Within seconds Karlach’s body dissolved into ash, leaving this plane in nothing more than a whimper. Her remains, her entire existence, floated away with the first hint of a breeze. She was gone, like she had never existed to begin with. Minthara screamed, a haunting guttural cry that would have reached the very pits of the Hells. She followed the ashes, sprinting towards the River Chionthar. She jumped, attempting to grab what was left of Karlach, but the smallest speck evaded her.

She found herself falling. Deeper and deeper. Falling and shrieking, clutching at nothing. There was only darkness and displair, an intense pressure crushing her body from every possible direction. She was alone. Again . Deeper and deeper, longer and longer she fell… and fell… 

Minthara woke up screaming, twisting out of her bed roll. She drew a dagger from her pants out of instinct, slashing at the air in front of her. Sweat rolled down her back, her hair matted against her forehead. Her cheeks were warm and wet. From the perspiration or from her tears? She could no longer tell. 

She was met with the gentle rays of a sunrise as it filtered in between thick trees. A dense layer of mist clung to the damp ground around Minthara, swirling with her movements. The remains of last night’s campfire sat beside her, the embers glowing faintly, losing the rest of its light the more she stared at it.

Minthara let out a weary sigh, her heartbeat settling back into a regular rhythm. She sheathed her dagger and focused her attention on her palms. Thick scars covered nearly every surface of her hands, her skin pruned and discoloured where severe burns had been. 

She ran her fingers over the old wounds, lightly massaging them as her mind swam through memories of Karlach. These scars still ached, prickling sensations running up her wrist and to her elbows. The dull pain gave her ease, a lasting reminder of Karlach and the fleeting moments they had shared together. 

Minthara had suffered a slew of injuries throughout her years in the Underdark as she played the game of Houses, navigating the complexities of Drow culture and escaping one assassination attempt after another. She had even gathered a few notable scars from her life on the surface, raiding in the name of the Absolute and in turn, fighting against them to free herself of its influence. Nothing compared however, to the injuries she had encountered cradling Karlach as flames devoured her body, comforting her until the final moments.

Minthara had tried to fight away the rest of the companions as they rushed to her aid, to heal her burned limbs, but she collapsed, succumbing to the crippling weight of her grief. She would’ve kept every single burn in testament to Karlach’s sacrifice, but they quickly vanished in a sea of healing spells, save for the wounds on her hands. 

Her dreams had known no quietude since that day. Night terrors plagued her subconscious, the same scene playing on a never-ending loop. She woke up just the same, doused in sweat and wanting nothing more than to feel Karlach’s warm embrace once again.

The nightmares would never cease, nor in truth, did she want them to. Vengeance coursed through Minthara’s veins, fuelling her heart's desire. She would smite whatever obstacle appeared on her road to revenge, be it friend or foe. She would not allow herself to rest until she hunted down that vile Archdevil Zariel. The pathetic fallen angel who was responsible for Karlach’s affliction and doomed fate. Minthara would rip out her infernal heart and squish it with her boots, like the worthless insect she was. For months she calculated numerous ways to exact her retribution, what she would do to make Zariel cower. Would she rip out her wings? Crush her talons? Or perhaps flay her skin? All she knew was that Zariel would suffer up until her last moment.  

Minthara rose to her knees, reaching for her backpack. She pulled out a new set of clothes, laying them in front of her in preparation for the day's travel.

She was so close now, her stomach fluttering in anticipation as she began to recognise the roads she travelled previously. One more night and she would be back in Wyrm's Crossing. She had unfinished business there, someone she needed to speak with if she was ever going to make it to Avernus unscathed. 

If she was ever going to avenge her beloved. 

---

Wyrm's Crossing was barely identifiable as Minthara moved through the streets. It had been months since the Elder Brain’s assault on Baldur’s Gate but it looked like the attack occurred only yesterday. Chaos still lined the roads; buildings remained unrepaired, rubble littered every corner, creating bottlenecks in the flow of mortals crossing in and out of the Lower City. The paths themselves were stuffed with refugees, most holding their hands out begging for gold and the others huddled in the corners, sleeping or crying; the lot of them merely trying to survive another day. It was noisier and dirtier than Minthara remembered. She covered her nose, attempting to shield herself from the rancid smells that drifted up from the pavements. It was an assault on her senses as she pushed through the throng, edging closer to Sharess’ Caress. 

Holes were scattered throughout the foundations of the brothel, red velvet curtains covering openings where more intimate matters were attended to. The front doors had been destroyed too, leaving the foyer exposed to the passersby. Minthara slipped through with a crowd of patrons, managing to slither past Mamzell Amira’s all seeing gaze at her perch behind the counter. She was worse than a scrying eye. The last time Minthara stepped through those doors, Amira attempted to recruit her to the house of pleasure almost immediately.  

“There’s a high demand for Drow,” Amira had said with a seductive wink, “you would be a nice addition…”

Karlach found that quite amusing, teasing Minthara later that evening in the privacy of their tent. 

“I’ll poison them all,” Minthara whispered.

“No you won’t,” Karlach responded, nuzzling against Minthara’s chest. 

“Oh, and you’re so sure, Karlach? What makes you think I haven’t done so already?” Minthara spoke, through a grin.

Minthara walked up the carpeted steps, shaking away the memory before it served as another distraction. But she could not escape them, the interior of Sharess’ Caress was riddled with echoes of the past. No matter where Minthara looked she saw Karlach at every corner, her voice rattling around her brain. Karlach's idiotic sense of humour, childish at best, somehow always made Minthara laugh. She would risk anything to make Minthara smile, from making bets on the types of fetishes the brothel's clientele had, to nearly drinking Hoots' Hooch dry with that incredible tolerance to alcohol; these memories might’ve been trivial to most mortals, but to Minthara they were precious.

Before Minthara knew it, she was on the upper level, standing in front of an all too familiar room. The Devil’s Den.  

She clenched her jaw as she stared at the intricate designs on the door, debating whether or not to knock or kick it down. 

Minthara inhaled deeply and begrudgingly tapped her knuckles on the entranceway. 

“You may enter.” A deep voice rumbled from the inside, “But be expeditious, I have another engagement in sho–”

Minthara did not wait for what the voice had to say, the evil that hid behind these lavish facades did not deserve her respect. She slammed the door open, barging inside. 

“Devil.” She interjected, standing on the threshold with her hands on her hips.

There was a long pause as Minthara watched the Devil named Raphael rise from his rosewood desk at the far end of his suite, turning to face her. His mortal form was deceivingly handsome, silk brown hair resting above his shoulders. Those dark eyes of his were the worst of all, they could lure almost anyone into one of his infernal traps if they stared long enough. He wore an expensive looking doublet, embellished with decorative slits, befitting his higher status amongst the mortals.

A flicker of surprise crossed Raphael's eyebrows as he stared at her, tilting his head curiously. A contract floated by his side but he waved his wrist, causing it to vanish in a burst of sparks.

“Nightwarden Minthara.” Raphael began, his inflection rising. “An unexpected surprise... To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Before Minthara could respond, an unseen force pulled her inside and the door shut behind her.

To be continued...

[lutethebodies]

✨Let's talk about OCs!✨How would you describe your OC's personality/aesthetic? What's your favourite thing about them? Tell us a fun fact(s) about your OC or their creation

❤️Send this to at least 3 people to spread some OC appreciation!❤️

Just wildly stoked that I've been asked to do this. I can and have waxed excessive about all of my Elite Eight Tavs, but since my asker @trappedinafantasy37 (whose character post is here) once described him as "the only bard I like," I'm gonna dance with the human that brung me—the bard who I played when getting back into the roleplaying hobby after three decades, the one I loved enough to write and record (in lieu of fic) seven songs from his point of view—the infamous yet underwhelming Lost Singer, Cannor Coth.

My goal with Cannor was if he were to get attention at all (in- or out-of-universe), it would be of the "he doesn't look/act/seem like a bard" variety. I'll try to keep this unique from everything else in his tag or his Tav Tuesday double-whammy or his Minthara relationship tag, but longtime readers may notice some overlap. I'll also try to keep this as short as possible (he says, preposterously), because it mostly boils down to the protesteth-too-much idea of "my elf bard is different!" so I'll offer a courtesy cut, with the rest below it:

PERSONALITY

Because, well, Cannor is different, superficially at least, from other more famous bards—both in his own universe and ours. His defining feature is his utter ordinariness; he's very much a performer who's not that performative. He's not a creepy lecher or a useless fop or any of those other clichés. He can pretend to be all that Volo-Marillion-Jaskier shit but finds it exhausting over time. Whatever time he spends out in public—whether in lordly courts or tumbledown taverns—must be balanced by relative isolation, both to decompress and analyze as needed. He certainly thinks too much; he leans into the idea of "lore" bard in terms of amassing tons of general knowledge and trivia.

He's had to learn that for his day job: a nebulous combination of envoy, entertainer, spy, saboteur, and other rogueish traits. He's not an official diplomat; he's the guy that diplomat hires to find out what people are really saying or thinking in places like shops, inns, winesinks, or street corners. He listens more and talks less—but when he talks, he knows exactly what to say in any given situation. In his line of work he can't afford to be overtly obnoxious, so Cannor's m.o. is more observation over outrage, more analysis over annoyance. A gig is a gig, and any job worth doing is worth doing competently—but a little flair or flourish here and there for emphasis won't hurt. Indeed its absence makes its deployment arguably more effective.

Did I realize, five years ago, that this was a trope so common that the D&D movie would adopt it for their main guy Edgin? I did not. Ah well; Ed can't wield a whip like Cannor (another cliché!). But what matters is that Cannor is first and foremost a professional. He makes a point to be good at whatever he does, but that doesn't make him good. He can be self-centered to a fault, and his overall cool control can't always keep him out of trouble; a backstory (which he's so ambivalent about that one of his few close friends had to write it) of poor parenting, malicious mentoring, and laissez-faire love has definitely left its mark. So, for all intents and purposes a rogue, but who tips into bard-dom because what he makes is more important than anything he takes; he values creativity over all else. He follows the muse.

AESTHETIC

Cannor is aesthetically well past whatever prime years anyone would expect of a bard-as-entertainer. He's a little bitter and jaded, a little slower and out of shape, a little wrinklier and grayer than the hot young kids tearing up stages and masquerades these days. For an admittedly pretentious guy he doesn't really dress like one; he wears nondescript darker outfits of mostly green, brown, or black (and favors padded or leather armor when required to wear any). He plays a big, long-necked lute tuned lower, and he plays it simply and succinctly—no dazzling virtuosic instrumental flourishes—as rhythmic accompaniment for what he sings. And even that can't really be called "singing" when it's more like a sneering, drawling, mumbling vehicle for his wordplay.

"FUN" FACTS

Infertility. Cannor is unable to father children, the inadvertent result of his captors' abuse during an extended incarceration in a foreign dungeon. Does Minthara know this? Yes, and I'm told she's fine with that. It would actually be the least of their problems if they stay together for very long after the events of BG3.

The Whip. I needed a finessy, less-violent way for Cannor to survive in my brother's combat-heavy 5e campaign, so mechanically a "swords bard wielding a whip" combined with his spell list worked out pretty well. Lore-wise, he had to be trained by one of his savvier, more violent friends—a fellow prisoner who broke him out. Sadly, in BG3 his best option for this is to spell-snipe Thorn Whip.

Ignominy. For Year Zero of my own homebrew game (but also other stuff like my brother's campaign and the BG3 Prologue), Cannor is at rock bottom: exiled to the sticks and boonies of nowheresville, with no prospects and no way home. Nobody knows him well or takes him seriously anymore. The only way left to go is up. In BG3, that monkey's paw curled via the nautiloid.

DEVELOPMENT

As a graphic designer but maybe not a "real" visual artist (though I do have my moments), I've tried to represent my guy's appearance in several ways, many of which have involved extensive and substantial work in Photoshop (for better or worse, my weapon of choice). I've also built him using HeroForge and Lego.

Is Cannor a self-insert? Yes and no. He's a wildly exaggerated version of some of me—a cartoon of some of my best and worst aspects. And that is no sin; as he (and I) say: "Doesn't everybody sweeten life with lies? Doesn't everybody self-mythologize?" You can reply "no" but I won't believe you.

As a muse, he's a great face to stand behind when I do creative things like self-publish fantasy atlases and self-release recording projects. Those two projects are two of the best things I've done and I'll never be too shy to say that. For better and worse, when I make something good I want my name on it, even if his name is also on it.

Thanks again to my asker. I love this guy and I guess I lied about keeping it short. If you made it all the way down here, thanks for the indulgence.

[majorasnightmare]

I’m gonna neeeedddd uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a number 2, a number 9, a number 22, with a side order of 25

*dirge customer service voice* will that be all for you today? :) your total is going to be 42.96

2. What would break your OC beyond repair? Has it happened?

any mindbreak slash ego death scenario, which most of the Embrace endings qualify for. giving up all possibility of ever breaking free from Bhaal and having his personality subsumed into the Urge would ruin him. Anything resembling the person who formerly went by "Dirge" would get passed through the Urge funhouse mirror to come out distorted on the other end as his old bhaalist mindset snaps back into place, this time more permanently, and without the dissomance he used to experience. No suffering, no doubt, no Dirge, just Murder Incarnate. The "lose to Orin" endings would also thoroughly break him, because he wouldn't kill himself on the promise that he wouldn't abandon Minthara, in the vain hope something could be done to save him from the affliction. In that go around he'd end up locked in her basement eating her political enemies that she disposes of down there to keep the Urge satiated enough to stop a serious attempt at breaking out. If they ever managed to pull Bhaal's essence out of him after that, he'd be a shell of a person, more or less permanently housebound because of how much of his soul he just had ripped out, and that coupled with a less than healthy lifestyle of Exclusively Cannibalism would exacerbate his disabilities. In that hypothetical specifically, he wouldn't get better (and WOULD eventually die of a shortened mortal lifespan), but it'd be a life he was happy to live, however short and difficult it was, with Minthara. especially since it comes on the heels of a living unlife of madness and incoherence.

Some other AU hypotheticals come CLOSE, like one where the absolute pulls out a final Ace up her sleeve and snags Dirge out of prism range, but he WOULD technically get better. after a while. and after a LOT of damage was done

The only thing that could possibly meet the definition of "pre existing Break Beyond Repair" would be Orin's lobotomy resulting in Dirge's amnesia and soft personality reset, which more or less symbolically killed the person dirge used to be beyond any possibility of resurrection. and honestly, bhaalist!dirge was more than happy to go.

9. What is the greatest sacrifice your OC could ever make? Under what circumstance would they make it?

Dirge is a deeply selfish person, and simultaneously incredibly pragmatic. He regularly trades his flesh as tokens for prizes he deems more worthy, letting Volo jab his eye out because his patron alerts him to the presence of the prosthetic one that Volo would be unlikely to trade away on a whim except out of guilt. Not only does he avoid martyrdom as a rule, he also makes a point of making OTHERS avoid martyrdom, partially because he thinks living is worth it, but not insignificantly because HE wants them around. He is, generally, opposed to sacrifice on what amounts to the closest thing to moral grounds a bhaalspawn like him CAN have. He never picks fights he thinks he can lose, he never gives up what he finds value in keeping, anything he surrenders he makes sure he gets back in equal or greater value, because this dudes just straight up a bargain hunting deal making pact negotiating warlock, through and through. a GOOD warlock, a skilled one, does not sacrifice, as a rule. that wyll is prone to sacrificing himself and also so miserable in his pact is no coincidence in dirges mind

With all that being said. He'd do it for Minthara. He doesnt WANT to, mind you, because what he WANTS is to spend the rest of their lives together (ideally forever once he finds a way to get immortality where the consequences are worth it), but he'll give up anything, everything, for her wellbeing if push comes to shove. When the Sword of Damocles falls and hes there in the temple holding Orin's corpse, when Bhaal comes to him and demands he take up the mantle of chosen again or he'll kill Dirge, when Minthara is begging him to agree and theyll find a way out afterwards together, Dirge knows that letting Bhaal have such a strong presence in his soul, to take on the form of Slayer, to claim the Absolute in Bhaal's name, would be to reduce Minthara to nothing better than an agreeable broodmare in Bhaal's eyes, that Dirge would be driven to sire spawn regardless if he wants to or not, that those spawn would in turn be driven to killing their mother, and that even if he resisted, the only other option would be to kill her, to deprive her of her dream of ruling side by side. It would be another link in the long chain of abuse, set in motion long ago by a man who wanted to become divine, no matter what it cost him, and the idea of subjecting Minthara to hypothetical years of debasement, servitude, abuse, and suffering repulses Dirge to his very core. in that moment he weighs his death and the suffering itd cause against that far flung future, and the choice is overwhelmingly clear. Its that moment that makes him realize more than anything else that he WANTS to live, and thats why he has to choose to die, sacrifice everything he wanted with her, sacrifice everything he wanted FOR her, sacrifice every last second he was going to spend at her side, because her life is worth more to him than that. even as he bleeds out he never doubts for a single moment that theyre going to face the Absolute and come out victorious. and even as he hates the position hes in, hed make the same choice there, every single time

22. What is your OC the most guilty about?

Not being more involved in Orin's life. Being the first domino that resulted in Minthara's torture at Moonrise. Killing his parents. Killing Alfira. Constrained by circumstance, swept up by the inertia of passing time, things spiral away from his control and he cant stop it or fix it. Couldn't manage to break out of his role enough to keep from swallowing Orin in his shadow, didn't know Minthara yet and thus couldn't love her enough to spare her before she ever left the Underdark, trapped and feral and useless screaming madly on Kressa's work table while in the same prison Orin forces a tadpole into Minthara, waking up in the dead of night with no awareness or control covered in the gore of someone he couldn't stop himself from killing.

Living through all of it when the people who gave him the second life he lives (that he didn't earn, that he doesn't deserve) both end up crushed under his boot.

25. What does your OC love most, and what would they do to keep it?

Dirge, ironically enough for a death cult nihilist, is a real loverboy. Beneath every horror and every atrocity and every sacrilege and blasphemy, is love. He loved Bhaal as his Father, and wanted to be a good dutiful son. He loved Orin, and wanted to keep her from being broken by expectation. He loved Gortash, enough that it started to untwist the suicidal desire for slaughter that he had carried for most of his life, loved him enough to think about wanting to live. He loves his friends, Astarion and Gale and Lae'zel and Wyll and Shadowheart and Karlach, loves Jaheira and Minsc, loves Isobel and Aylin. He loves Minthara, loved her at first sight, loves her just as an intrinsic facet of his soul. When Dirge loves, it is deep and sincere and genuine and thorough, the scales of his affection balanced against the vast disdain and apathy for the world by the sheer world-cracking love he feels for this small handful of people. Power and wealth and material goods can be obtained as often as needed, but these people? It is only here, and it is only now.

To keep them? To have them and to hold them and to be around them? He would do anything. But honestly whats more insightful is what he doesn't do. Killing is cheap for Dirge. The inflicting of pain, the enactment of atrocities, plumbing new depths of suffering. Rote and habitual. That he would storm all nine Hells and spear Zariel's head on a pike is a given. No, what matters is that to keep those he loves, he will stay his hand.

He doesn't kill Ulder Ravenguard. Wyll wants his father to live, so it doesn't matter to Dirge that he hates the man for his treatment of Wyll, hates that all the affection and tenderness didn't spare Wyll from seven years of exile, hates that even now he doesn't feel Ulder gives Wyll his due. For this he'd happily flay the man alive until the screams rang out a perfect melody in his ears. But Wyll wants Ulder alive. Wants his father back, wants to have him and to talk to him. So Dirge stays his hand, goes out of his way to break Wyll's pact but rescue Ulder anyways. Wyll asks for so little, that Dirge will always give him what he wants.

He doesn't tell Jaheira to keep the ritual that would allow her to extend her life, to live and guide and fight as long as shes needed. Jaheira has lovers, family, friends, all dearly missed, and more than that she is running herself ragged fighting the good fight. It doesn't matter if Dirge thinks the Harpers are fools, if Dirge personally wants Jaheira to live so he can stay with her, what matters is Jaheira needs to rest. Needs to see the people she's left behind, needs to see Khalid again one day. Regardless of what he wants, Dirge wouldn't put her through that

To keep what he loves, Dirge will force himself to stillness for their sakes

[majorasnightmare]

"Bhaalspawn Domestication". I need to know about this.

minthara gives a shelter dog his forever home :)

more explicitly its a Porn With Plot wip about how specifically dirge and minthara kick off their relationship in act 2. dirge has been making the rounds sleeping with half the party, but hasnt committed to a relationship with anyone, and when minthara inquires why, dirge elaborates on exactly the kind of high intensity 24/7 power dynamic he craves that no ones been willing or capable of providing. After some explicit flirting moves into a mutually genuine discussion of their desires, Minthara contends with the biggest kicker in any relationship with Dirge, and makes a point of putting the Urges in their place ☺️🕸️

also making use of the only bed in the shadow cursed lands camp, the one thats up the hill in the back that halsin hangs around once minthy moves in LMAO

[majorasnightmare]

@trappedinafantasy37 answering you here cuz my response would NOTTTT fit in tumblrs reply section LMAO

dirge IS there because hes useful, seeing his ass in drow leather is just an enjoyable bonus LMAO. because elememts of mintharas personality are useful for keeping the absolutes favorite lobotomite leashed, more of her personality is allowed to creep in because of how the absolute can use it, primarily her paranoia. dirge, by virtue of being a true soul, is Completely Trustworthy, and having keener senses than her own makes him useful for detecting threats. she makes him share her room for the same reason, and dirges acquescience to the chain of command means theres no question of whether or not he'll die defending her: its just a given.

ragzlin isnt stupid enough to try anything on his own but VERYYY vocally dislikes "the drows new mutt" and uses whatever chance he gets to talk shit. in game this would mean you could deflect suspicion about the mind flayer interrogation onto dirge to save your own skin, which makes ragzlin storm off to yell at him, freeing you to take out the goblins he normally fights with.

fighting minthara in the camp with dirge WOULD be substantially harder, with the absolute dumping some of his old bhaalist combat skills back into his head. he fights as a level 5 assassin rogue with feats enabling his use of eldritch blast, with dissonant whispers as his go to tadpole power, and minthara starts round 1 buffing him before he targets either gale, shadowheart, or astarion first. if your party is karlach, wyll, and laezel he alternates between targeting you first or wyll, and sticks to someone until they go down. minthara also picks up the battlemaster maneuver where you can force a party member to move on your turn, which she'll use to force dirge to flank her target once she hits half health. iirc it still triggers oppurtunity attacks and itd be a consistent way to put dirge down since hell just try and eat that damage. halsin if brought along will also target dirge first before anyone else, since in this AU dirge is the one who gets halsin captured. its a real pain in the ass even without mintharas smites, but you CAN cheese it by luring dirge to the bridge and shoving him into the chasm, or by using repulsive eldritch blast or thunderwave

potential in game shenanigans aside, the plot of the AU in my head is that the party resorts to the chasm method after dirge starts tearing through the party, and theyre so haggard from the fight that they cant manage to kill minthara, ko-ing her instead. dirge comes to several hours later and, being a mass of godflesh in the shape of a tiefling, snaps his joints together enough to crawl his way up at critical health to see the camp destroyed and minthara unconscious. the goal after that is to try and make it back to moonrise for new orders and potentially reinforcements, which means a lot of travelling thats just the two of them, and a lot of time not being directly ordered by the absolute

before the camp is taken down though, the party DOES have a fair amount of interactions with him without any issues. hes bored waiting for a new lead to the grove, minthara doesnt want to risk whatevers been destroying her scouting parties getting him so he cant go hunting, and no ones asked him to go torture liam yet because no one knows hes good at it. despite what dror says about him, and despite the rather intimidating aura he puts out when he blocks you from talking to minthara at first, he appreciates the conversation cuz goblins just stopped being fun a while ago, and a good way to try and scope out the area before planning the camp assault is to talk to him while someone else pokes around

so! the general AU timeline is something like this

dirge gets betrayed and tadpoled by orin

his bhaalspawn biology kicks in and tries to recover from a wound that didnt instakill him, but isnt successful because of the tadpole and kressas experiments

the absolute uses the tadpole to get a foothold in dirges mind but a combination of his willpower, being reduced to base feral instincts and The Urge, and injuries to the brain resulting in inflammation and oedema, means that Dirge isnt enough of a person to be meaningfully influenced beyond being prevented from outright killing Kressa. he has brain swelling in wenickes AND brocas area which has resulted in dirge completely losing language capabilities

kressas husband is weirded out by his wife having some cooing obsession with a feral brainwormed tiefling who keeps trying to bite anyone who gets close and gets dirge transferred to the nautiloid mission to hopefully serve as a suicide berserker and die offscreen

finally free of kressas prodding and sealed in a pod, dirge's unique physiology kicks in and forcibly drags him into unconsciousness to actually meaningfully rest. dirges restful sleep finally settles his mind enough for the absolute to interact with it

dirge spends most of the nautiloid mission unconscious in the stasis pod, as his body repairs itself and the absolute starts repairing his mind (returning language capability, repairing short term memory storage and attempting repairs on the short term to long term memory systems)

main timeline divergence! after retadpoling dirge and discovering orpheus in the prism, when the emperor goes to choose who in the nautiloid has the best capabilities of combatting the absolute, it instead chooses to pass over the murderous semi-sapient brain damaged cult leader, judging dirge to either be too injured to meaningfully help or too unpredictable and potentially dangerous to risk letting loose, and leaves him in the pod

dirge stays in stasis through the nautiloid prologue, and doesnt awaken throughout

the nautiloid crashes with dirges pod still in it, the mind flayer pod absorbing the impact like it does for the other companions when you dont play as them (like how you can find karlach and astarions pods). his pod is around the same area youd fight the intellect devourers later, suspended by arterial mesh and powerlines. the pod pops open in the wreckage during the middle of the night, around the same time of night you see yourself rescued from the fall

while the player character is unconscious until morning, dirge hits the ground and is up and awake from the get go

unprotected by the prism, having survived the crash, but also having his first moments of genuine consciousness and awareness since being stabbed, dirges mind is still reeling from its sheer abyssal emptiness and pain, and the absolute seizes the oppurtunity to dominate him immediately. dirge struggles but cant meaningfully fight it off in his state, and the absolute converts him into a proper True Soul

after dirge is True Souled, the absolute pushes him into stumbling out of the crash site to make his way to the goblin camp immediately. being single mindedly driven, he manages to limp and clumsily stealth his way to the camp, managing to avoid any patrolling scouts, and primarily acting on thoughtless obedience, his head too badly scrambled to organize itself

dirge manages to get to the camp sometime in the afternoon of the first day, while the party is still gathering survivors and making way towards withers tomb

this means that dirges first interactions with people dont occur until hes in goblin territory! so his social standard compass gets oriented in an entirely different direction, identifying guts, dror ragzlin, and minthara as the primary people he needs to make an effort to get along with

the camp three spend a good chunk of the day interrogating the newest true soul and his amnesia, and why exactly he came from the crash site that was supposed to hold the weapon theyre hunting for. unable to recall what happened, but definitely a True Soul meant to aid the absolutes plan, they conclude that dirge infiltrated the nautiloid on a mission to claim the weapon before being compromised by the injury and the crash. the absolute doesnt explicitly CONFIRM this interpretation of events, but more or less encourages its because it helps her fallen star get along with everyone

true soul!dirge actually doesnt recall anything to use as his name here! guts and dror ragzlin use any number of nicknames for him based on him being a tiefling, and minthara more or less exclusively calls him True Soul

the absolute surpresses most of the fragments of memory circumstance makes dirge recall, and also surpresses more of The Urge so he acts less erratically, so he tends to rely more on interactions with Minthara to ground him with his memory loss

dirge proves his worth shortly after his arrival by participating in the waukeens rest raid and helping to capture ulder ravenguard, and then later that night when aradins party tries to infiltrate the camp while the goblins are canonically shitfaced drunk and slackin. dirge catches their scent and is the first to lunge into action when liam charges, taking down the dwarf cleric brian and incapacitating halsin in bear form, while liam gets captured. minthara doesnt send him on the raiding party following aradin, and having demonstrated keen killer instinct, takes up the informal role as mintharas second in command, who intends to use him as a guard dog and a skilled second opinion, having sent most of her drow retinue to safeguard ulders transport to moonrise.

minthara gives him drow drip™️ and he sticks with his habitual dual dagger build from his bhaalist days. at the camp hes positioned almost like a bouncer outside mintharas desk

despite guts getting killed immediately when dirge normally interacts with her, they get along decently well when hes a true soul. hes generally amenable to being fussed over and guts is the resident healer, and now hes one of her boys, so theyre amicable with each other. dror fucking hates him tho cuz hes a greenie and already showing him up a little, and is already getting close to minthara when dror has been trying for a WHILE now

the absolute correctly predicts that minthara compliments dirges skillset and has the kind of personality that would be useful towards directing him to working in achieve its goals, so it subtly encourages them to be around each other. despite the brainworms, dirge in this state isnt a particularly devout absolutist, more treating it as a factual reality than as a devout believer, so mintharas faith is useful here as well since it establishes a clear unquestioned chain of command. the absolute commands minthara, who then instructs dirge, who then carries it out more reliably than the absolute directly commanding dirge

[trappedinafantasy37]

Inspired by the most recent post of mine, I decided to write a bit of a "what-if" scenario in which instead of raiding the grove, the 'heroes' knock Minthara out instead. It's a bit longer than my usual stuff, but I had a lot of fun with this one.

Also, let me know if anyone has issues accessing it. All my links work fine, but I messed up the publishing date so it doesn't show in the search of AO3 and probably won't until tomorrow.

Enjoy!

[trappedinafantasy37]

I've decided I'm going to continue forward with my side fic where Daedra (Durge) retrieves Minthara from Moonrise instead of Orin. After the ambush in the dining hall, Minthara is taken down below for further processing in which she is faced with an impossible choice.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Oh no, Daedra found a bomb.

[trappedinafantasy37]

I debated posting this update to Tumblr, but, there's a new one-shot for ya'll available. Just to give you a bit of a warning, it is entirely smut, which is a new one for me. But, the idea kept bouncing in my head and I just had to get rid of it by writing it down.

With that in mind, this chapter is meant for an 18+ only audience.

The morning after consummating their newfound relationship, Minthara decides that it is time to conduct an inspection of Daedra's body now that it belongs to her.

Enjoy!

Release schedule:

Sunday, Tuesday/Wednesday, Friday

Any extra goodies will be uploaded on Thursdays or Saturdays. But these will not be regular.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Aight, chapter 25 has been updated! The Griffon is dead and the village is ready for its celebration to honor its reluctant saviors! Minthara feels a mixture of feelings about it. We all know how she feels about parties.

I know Fridays are usually double releases, but, I got a little off schedule for this week. My bad.

Enjoy!

Release Schedule:

Sundays

Tuesdays/Wednesdays - this day will be flexible depending on the content, but usually Tuesdays

Fridays - dual chapters

Any extra goodies will be uploaded on Thursdays or Saturdays. But these will not be regular.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Sorry folks, been feeling a lot of feelings that I don't want to feel and they won't go away. Still drowning in doubts and keep second guessing every word I write cause now it all just feels wrong and incorrect. Couldn't be as productive on the main story and didn't get around to editing the next chapter. So, here's a one-shot that's been sitting in the drafts. Hopefully, I should be back on schedule on Friday.

This chapter is meant to take place between Chapter 21: Midnight Hunt and Chapter 22: Weary Travelers of the main story.

Despite only being on the road for just a few days, Daedra and Shadowheart decided that they wanted to take a break for a day and just rest. But, Minthara has other plans.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Alrighty. After proof reading and editing for the past two days, I have finally posted the first few chapters of my Minthara fanfic. I’m super excited about it. I’ve never been much of a writer, but Baldur’s Gate has given me an inspiration that I never knew I had. I plan for this to be a bit of a long story. I do plan to update somewhat regularly, but I make no promises.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Aight, Chapter 31 has been updated! Continuing their exploration of Rivington, Minthara and the team catch the scent of a serial killer. But not all members of the crew want to be active participants in the investigation.

Enjoy!

[trappedinafantasy37]

Aight, Chapter 30 has been updated! After a rough day at the circus, the two drow decide to wind down with a shared moment of intimacy. But the nights can prove to be long and so many things can happen.

Enjoy!

Just a heads up, this will probably be the last update for this series for about a week or so. The Elden Ring DLC releases in a few days and I probably won't be getting around to writing new chapters for this story as I will be busy being abused by the new dark souls bosses. But, don't fret, I already have some one shots and side stories locked and loaded for ya'll in the meantime.