#dirgetharaposting

[majorasnightmare]

dirge is a cannibal the way an obligate carnivore will eat human flesh. the way a tiger will attack and eat a passing traveller through its territory, if its hungry enough. the way you have to put down a wolf once its gotten a taste for human blood

he was hungry, and people are made of meat. made of sinews and marrow and blood and heat, and a fresh kill steams enticingly in the cold winter air. who goes grocery shopping for a temple dedicated to slaughter and death? the strong hunt the weak, and we don't cater to free loaders here. a small moment of kindness, whispering something like a secret. ill show you something your brothers wouldnt have told you about. you were born with teeth for a reason, little idol

when it wasnt survival, it was desecration. bodies as objects, tools, toys. broken corpses made mockery of. nothing to bury, nothing to grieve, loved ones torn apart by human hands but savaged like an animal. teeth marks on limbs, organs half swallowed. an intensification of pain, just for the sake of suffering. hatred and misery unending

now? now it is a form of worship. a new god at the altar, prayers in the night betwixt twisted limbs and pleased sighs. dragging a tongue against the writhing form of an intestine, a homecooked meal where you can feel the love in every bite. hot iron and salt, ichorous bile never tasted so sweet. there is no part of you i would look away from, no hidden pleasure i wouldn't kiss. i'll happily adore every part you let me see, and every part you hide from me. the thin barrier of skin keeping your vital secrets away from prying eyes, but i wouldn't dare carve you open, not until you get the wound started for me. this layer of seperation between us, sheets and shirts and underwear and flesh, let me unzip it bit by bit until we are wound up inside each other, no meaningful distinction where you end and i begin. surrounding me like an embrace, like a memory, pulsing bleeding alive, warm and tender and vulnerable, love and devotion and worship. let me pray here, let me rest here, let me take my daily bread here, let me worship the thin membrane of your stomach lining and the pulsing mechanisms of your liver. let me taste you, every inch, i promise you won't find me wanting. you're feeding a different kind of hunger here.

thank you for the meal

[majorasnightmare]

LITERALLY yeah ajdnsnsbsndb

Love ships where its like some guy with autism and his special interest is his wife

[majorasnightmare]

i finally did it. character relevant sex lore for the party bicycle YAHOO

this post fucking fought me every step of the way. thats what i get for writing character analysis while violently ill and dosed to the moon on meds. enjoy in detail content on how bhaals favorite gore baby straight out of pottery barn fucks his way through the sword coast

content warnings for below the cut for sexual content and references to past sexual abuse 👇

so dirges relationship with sex is kind of... intense? ironically its at its simplest in his bhaalist years but that baggage gets carried over into experiences post tadpoling

bhaalist!dirge did... NOT have a good relationship with sex. the act itself was to be done for procreation, to seed the world with spawn to help fulfill Bhaal's goals, and to that end Dirge was coerced via duty into having sex with volunteering priestesses to try and conceive. Those efforts never bore fruit, and Dirge unconsciously tried to avoid that particular duty whenever possible, and it contributed greatly to his compulsive need to prove himself fit and worthy as Bhaal's vessel to avoid having to conceive an heir. the pleasure was embodied in the ecstasy of murder, a sensation somewhere between a full body orgasm and an addictive drug high, an instictive kill response triggered by Bhaal's blessing, and a sign that Dirge was the favored child. the desire for sex, for intimacy with another living person, was a sin, a sign of weakness. if you wanted the feeling, all you had to do was kill, and kill well. if you didnt want to kill, then it must be because you desired to spread your seed and incubate another heir to the throne of blood. what else could you possibly be looking for?

so dirge more or less avoided sexual encounters as a whole during his bhaalist years, up until meeting gortash, where gortash was an intimate human connection dirge WASNT going to kill (for the sake of bhaals schemes), and furthermore gortash was a connection that encouraged dirge to view himself as a person with desires outside of bhaal. things snowballed, and dirge fell into a cycle of sleeping with gortash that looked something like this

-be overwhelmed by the crushing weight of being a living religious idol

-feel soul destroying amounts of guilt for not living up to the standards set for you by yourself and everyone you interpret as a voice of authority on the matter

-refuse to go home because you hate yourself and your procrastinating on the inevitable routine of self flagellation and overwork until you feel youve earned the right to exist again

-end up at gortashs because you dont know where else to go

-seriously consider killing gortash and freeing yourself of this final piece of connection tying you to the material plane and potentially keeping you from killing the world. avoid killing gortash for exactly that reason

-let yourself be talked into making use of your time here by working on your schemes and projects together. be completely unable to focus and emotionally distraught

-be convinced into letting gortash relieve your stress. let things get carried away and take your clothes off. finally indulge your desire to be close to another person. >not your fault >banite talked you into it >youll kill him about it later

-you dont want to be responsible for your own desires or actions but you want to be guided by someone who knows how to make this work, so now that youve already shot yourself in the foot, might as well deepthroat the barrel. go completely submissive in bed and give gortash the thrill of a lifetime being the dom for a murderbeast that only tames itself for him

-have a genuinely really nice enjoyable time having sex

-wake up at the crack of dawn before gortash wakes up, feel completely disgusted and ashamed with yourself for succumbing to the weak desire for social connection, use his bathroom to clean yourself up, leave through his window without saying anything.

-promise yourself your never going to do this again, find someone to kill on the way out, crawl back home in disgrace to get started on that routine of self flagellation (literally)

-rinse and repeat.

and that cycle more or less stayed stable entirely up until dirges lobotomy. but dirge got to carry alllllll that unexamined guilt and trauma with him into his second go around

Post tadpoling, Dirge doesn't retain the old religious values that punished him for connection seeking, though he DOES retain the effects it left him with. Topping triggers traumatic memories of feeling coerced into trying to conceive at the temple (though he only recalls the intense discomfort, bereft of context or reason), and the years of religious guilt means hes so consciously present in his body that he struggles to finish. He also just takes a long time to climax overall. The discomfort doesnt start fading until a good bit into his relationship with Minthara. Generally this means his preference is to just treat his body as a tool his partner can use to make themselves feel nice, and Dirge derives a LOT of pleasure from watching his partner climax because of him. Its usually enough to satisfy him even if he doesnt cum, just as long as his lover does. This was one of the main sticking points in his relationship with Astarion, and one of the reasons Astarion eventually transitioned their relationship away from sex.

Dirge post tadpoling doesnt project any particular meaning onto sex and mostly sees it as a way to enjoy yourself physically, and is very open to casual and platonic sex. He sleeps with Astarion off and on throughout act 1 very casually when giving Astarion blood, he sleeps with Gale to reaffirm to Gale that he IS desirable and attractive, Dirge just cant reciprocate the exact kind of relationship Gale wants, and Dirge sleeps with Karlach after her engines fixed cuz he told her hed stay open to the idea and shes been pent up for a decade. Its something thats enjoyable to do, and Dirge takes to the role of attentive seducer quite well, lavishing affection on a partner over and over and over again, so he doesnt see a reason to abstain from it when its so fun, and it can do nice things for the people hes sleeping with. dirge very much is the kind of guy you can fuck without changing literally anything about your relationship to him, and he makes that clear before you blow his back out.

while dirge CAN be dominant in bed, he enjoys himself the most when hes being submissive. the dom/sub dynamic has more of an influence on how "into it" he gets than any other particular kink, because for dirge the relationship of power, potential for violence, and the physicality of his body are all intrinsically linked together. dirge is a killing machine that receives pleasure from inflicting death, and finds peace in receiving pain, and he is constantly aware of those facts. if someone isnt making him submit, hes doing the work of taming himself for them, and thats going to contribute to his difficulty losing himself in the experience. its easier and more enjoyable for him to pleasure a partner unwilling or unable to dominate him, because he can divert most of his attention off of himself onto intuiting the noises and motions of their body to pull the strongest reactions out of them.

when it comes to actual sex acts, dirge is a MASSIVE fan of oral. dirge typically seeks to satisfy multiple of his senses at the same time, and burying himself between his partners thighs ticks multiple checkboxes for him. its a reliable way of pleasuring a partner that rewards attention to body language and patience, it brings him close to multiple erogenous zones on his partners body (inner thighs, lower stomach, behind the knees, all within easy reach of his hands or easily manipulatable to bite, kiss, or otherwise mark), it satisfies multiple senses at once (nuzzling against his partners thigh, indulging the taste of them on his tongue, savoring the intensity of their scent so close to their heat, being able to look up and make eye contact), its something he can happily do for hours at a time until his partner wants him to stop, and above all its something one sided he can give to his partner without having to receive anything. dirge is free to take pleasure in the act itself and what it does to his lover without worrying about his bodys own reactions to things his lover might want to do to him, and in a d/s context its a blatant act of fulfilling devotion and worship that is its own reward. dirge is a very worshipful submissive, combining aspects of pet play with religious kink, needing a dominant to domesticate and take charge of him, before he rewards their efforts with service, devotion, and worship as thanks for going through the efforts of taming his more unruly urges. to that end, once minthara and him agree on their romance, she collars him as part of their initial courtship so that she has a means of restraining him on hand at all times.

dirges understanding of interpersonal power, autonomy, and self control are all tied up with his desires in social relationships and intimate connections, so because hes a bhaalspawn, because hes specifically an instinctive killer, the concept of indulgence itself carries inherent risk, and furthermore it carries the burden that he is not an infallible paragon of restraint. if dirge wants to be fully present in a relationship, he needs an external vehicle of control that isnt centered within his own capabilities of restraint, because otherwise he'll betray himself and act out against his own wishes and cause harm when he doesnt want to. dirge NEEDS someone to leash him so he can fully let go, but the responsibilities and risks of something like that are too much to reasonably expect out of most people. so far minthara and gortash have been the only ones willing to step up to be his self control kill switch

anything that plays into or around dirges power dynamics will typically be received well. bondage and restraints are enjoyable for him, alongside most forms of painplay. he has a huge thing for blood, and letting him draw it or drawing blood yourself and letting him catch the scent of it will sharply increase the intensity of the experience

generally dirge enjoys spoiling his lovers, dedicating the entire night to them with barely any focus on himself, lavishing affection on them, and using his own body to pleasure theirs, or letting his partner use his body themselves. intense scenes push dirge into subspace where his tendency to worship a lover gets emphasized, and he has a much easier time finishing like that and is prone to overstimulation. because he usually focuses so much on his lover, dirge tends to be quiet in bed, but gets increasingly vocal the deeper hes pushed into subspace

the only thing dirge possibly enjoys more than having sex with someone, is the aftercare afterwards. dirge gets incredibly soft and sweet after sex, and is a very big cuddler. aftercare is another oppurtunity to spoil his lover, to service and attend to them, and he enjoys the feeling of winding around them in the afterglow of it all. typically, the night has gone on long enough to thoroughly work through most of his visceral cravings for intense sensation, pain and blood, and with the Urge cowed through dominance and satisfied through intensity, whats left is shameless affection. hes very much an acts of service+physical contact love language kind of guy

it probably goes without saying but there isnt much that dirge wont experiment with, as long as it turns his partner on. hes also very openly a monster fucker, and the potential for dramatic violence holds deep erotic appeal for him. chimeric hybrids of monster and man scratch an itch meant to be soothed by the rejected slayer form for him, and his "hear me out" cake features bloodbornes ebrietas, daughter of the cosmos and the moon presence, and would almost certainly include several of MtG's phyrexians if i knew more about them. hed happily solve the lament configuration to fuck a cenobyte ala hellraiser, and he almost definitely found several of the necromorph transformations in dead space remastered viscerally satisfying

overall dirge is a submissive bottom who prefers being able to focus almost the entirety of his attention to servicing his lover, as his own pursuit of pleasure requires a lot of time investment and intensity that has to be increased either physically through stimulation or emotionally through domination, but finds plenty of satisfaction and enjoyment through his effects on his lover. the act of sex is very casual for dirge, with the d/s dynamic being more emotionally charged and the relationship standard for dirge. hes very open to polyamory, but wont seek out another dom if hes already leashed to one, but will happily share a partner so long as everyone is satisfied with the arrangement. he has a very high stamina, owing to his particular collection of cult traumas and bhaalspawn traits and how they more or less ensure he takes a while to satisfactorily finish, and he will gladly suck the strap like his life depends on it and eat out his lover like a starving man graced with his last meal. he adores all the attention aftercare provides, and it means that if anyone plans on actually making a night of sleeping with dirge thats more than a quick roll in the hay, it WILL be a multi hour affair so dirge can propely indulge in all the physical stimuli their body can offer. he is, also, super big on terms of endearment and if you dont give him something to call you, hes going to invent his own and itll probably be something morbidly sweet.

all in all, probably a rewarding lay for anyone who can make it past all the cult trauma spike traps and dark urge murder scares! or at least the post coital snuggles would be

[majorasnightmare]

honestly fuck it dirge transgender post

Good Luck, Babe!

content warning for brief mentions of coerced sex acts

loosely covers misogyny and patriarchal standards in the cult of bhaal and its effects on orin, minthara and her relationship with menzoberranzans gender culture, with regards to how both of those affect how my personal dark urge, dirge, conceptualizes his own gender identity

dirge being bigender SPECIFICALLY isnt something that really comes UP all that much during the plot of bg3 and the interactions he has during that plot, but its not because it isnt a major defining of his self concept, but the opposite

its SO overwhelming crucial and foundational that he CANT meaningfully sit down with those feelings until after everything is so thoroughly handled and No Longer A Problem that he cant actually ignore it for "more important" issues, which means that he doesnt think about it or discuss it at all to anyone at anypoint during his travels because Thats Where The Dysphoria Demons Live and who has time for that. we have brain worms to deal with

dirges primary exposure to Gender as a concept is through the cult of bhaal, and its an underlying foundational understanding of his self perception that carries well past his tadpoling into current circumstances. the cult of bhaal itself has a twofold gendered culture (imo, headcanons incoming) and dirge internalizes both aspects

firstly theres The Cult as a religious institution that seeks to evangelize and indoctrinate new members and enact its broader political goals upon society. this Cult is fairly eglatarian, with no meaningful distinction between assassins who are men and assassins who are not. bhaal is venerated as the principal deity but worship is conducted primarily through acts of violence, which themselves are not gendered and instead rewarded based on meritocracy. all thats explictly valued is your ability to kill, which is a matter of skill and training (and sometimes race as doppelgangers are preferred assassins because of their shapeshifting)

then theres The Cult as abusive familial institution. this Cult is deeply patriarchal and misogynist, foregoing blatant sexism in favor of gendered favoritism and role enforcement. whats valued is closeness to the Image of Bhaal, the concept of what Bhaal is and who he is and how he presents, with perceived distance from this image of Bhaal being punished and discouraged. Sarevok is the main enforcer here, with Scleritas and Bhaal mostly working as support, never explicitly contradicting Sarevok even if they dont profess the same set of values. Orins self esteem issues arise primarily from the cheated feeling she has by being set up for a prized leadership role only to feel it snatched away by her bloodkin. Sarevok reveals that was never the plan at all and Orin was meant to be a sacrifical lamb for his own attempt at currying favor

Implicitly, femininity is derided here. Orin was never meant to succeed, both her and her mother as living tokens to be exchanged by their father for Bhaals favor. the dark urge is hailed as bhaals scion and closest of his kin, which sarevok and sceleritas also both remarking that part of the Urge's duties is the siring of spawn. Bhaal notably sired scores of progeny, and the Urge is expected to carry on that tradition, being referred to as a stallion which itself is a masculine term. Orin is set up to fail by being a woman, thus distancing her from the male Bhaal, and then her attempts at bridging the gap are insufficient because they involve too much of her personality (her art and unique interpretations of doctrine) which itself is derided in demeaning feminine terms (iirc "corpse dollies" is thrown around) and on top of it all, Orin can only carry one pregnancy at a time, making her a poorer vessel of bhaal in every measure sarevok cares about, even though she EXCELS at all the aspects the laymans cult values.

dirge internalizes ALL of this and expresses that particular brand of dysphoria im sure a lot of us trans folk are familiar with: "i dont think theres anything wrong with it but the idea of it for ME feels HORRIBLE". if dirge values orins shapeshifting skills, its because of how useful they are for the purpose hes born into. if dirge feels uncomfortable with his appearance and physical traits, its either because he yearns to return to Bhaals Perfect Form or because hes internalized some new thoughtcrime from Trying To Be A Person and thus must be punished for it. being a woman is fine, objectively, because women enter the cult all the time, but HE cant be a woman because that would be an unforgivable sin. He has to sire scores of spawn (nevermind if the idea of it makes him feel sick), he has to embody the will of Bhaal upon this earth, he has to ensure he never strays too far from his innate nature as a fragment of his Father! So he simply cant be a woman, because itd be bad for him specifically, and he definitely doesnt desire to be a woman or feel desire over his sisters innate skillset that allows her to shift and change as she chooses, in turn having access to more individuality than he will EVER be allowed to have even though he has a set face and she has an everchanging mask, and there isnt really anything WORTH desiring about being a woman anyways because itd all just make his life harder and he already struggles so much living up to the destiny he was born to achieve, so why would he ever make it harder? and it takes getting stabbed in the head to even PARTLY remove some of that entire mess

so post tadpoling, hes left with mostly all the negative aspects of growing up in the cult of bhaal but without any of the thought processes that justify them, so hes left feeling vaaaguely uncomfortable? with no clear reason but a Hot Brain Stove he flinches away from touching, and thats probably normal for someone in his situation so there isnt really any reason to dwell on it! it rears its head any time he tries to have sex though, and as its something he partakes in fairly often he does have to try to deal with THAT head on the misogyny hydra, the head in question being that he is deeply deeply uncomfortable trying to top in bed. His role as bhaals scion and urging from sarevok and sceleritas coerced him into sex acts with consenting cultists he REALLY did not want to participate in, for a purpose he VERY much did not want to fulfill, and thus topping is, for dirge, intrinsically tied to the idea of Trying To Impregnante Someone which itself is tied to his loss of autonomy. those reasons arent immediately known the first time he tries to be intimate, just a very strong discomfort that immediately makes itself known and which continues to do so with every intimate act he tries to participate in.

it isnt that dirge dislikes Being A Man, its more that masculinity is so wound around Being The Dark Urge that its less about masculinity and more about autonomy. he cant be a woman until hes allowed to Be Himself and THAT cant be handled until he manages to extricate himself from the cycle of abuse hes caught in with the temple. post temple confrontation, aside from the exacerbated mental illness symptoms he experiences, his own Concept of Self DOES manage to begin recovering, grief stricken as it is, and his masculine presentation doesnt change insofar as his behavior surrounding it does, loosening up on exploring his own particular preferences and being more experimental in the bedroom. masculinity itself is a kind of neutral safe ground dirge tenously pushes towards gender non conformance, and in that regard his relationship with minthara is VERY beneficial

minthara also has an incredibly Gendered upbringing but minthara carries most of her backgrounds positive and empowering aspects into her presentation as a woman. for minthara, femininity isnt just something ascribed to her but something she actively chooses to engage in and with because she enjoys doing so and finds its compelling and satisfying. this is vastly different from dirges understanding of femininity, which is something thats either not worth discussing because of how little it affects you or something that actively demeans and lessens you. thatd hed be drawn and attracted to that kind of powerful intentional presentation isnt really surprising

minthara isnt just an example for dirge of how the limits imposed on femininity are socially constructed rather than innate, she specifically is a vision of femininity he wants to partake in. most of the personality traits they find agreeable and desirable in each other are specifically considered feminine in menzoberranzan. that hes bloodthirsty, ruthless, ambitious and pragmatic are not just neutral traits but explicitly feminine gendered ones within the culture minthara openly admires and yearns for. minthara deliberately encourages the parts of him she both considers to be his strong points and also associates with women. similarly minthara is a kind of woman the family of Bhaal has no place for (and is part of why he rejects Bhaal at the end of it all) and one that Dirge hasnt gotten to experience, and its a kind of womanhood dirge badly wants for himself, the kind of woman he can actually see himself being similar to without being demeaned or lessened for it. its a gendered experience he actively craves rather than passively enjoys, and he cant actually reach for it until hes comfortable with the idea of Deliberately Having An Identity in the first place, which he then works backwards from to Purposefully Present As A Man afterwards

like many dysphoric people dirge doesnt actually engage with gender until he can do so fully and safely, and he starts with what FEELS the most transgressive and empowering, and from that position of strength works backwards to recontextualize his experience with masculinity as something equally purposeful and empowering, and its something he can only do without the threat of the absolute constraining his actions, and while comfortably within a relationship with minthara specifically, and also with the context of being forced by circumstance to really truly examine who orin was to him and what she meant to him and why. that it also involves partaking of the power proferred by his patron, which for dirge has always been a symbol of his independence and autonomy, is really just the cherry on top. its like a threefold benefit, where trying to discover your own self identity necessarily entails unpacking and dismantling the misogynistic standards you were raised into that make up the primary mental block your struggling with, and the process of doing so makes your sex life more comfortable, strengthens your relationship with the woman you consider your soul mate, and makes Identifying As A Person something you ACTIVELY enjoy rather than passively engage in out of necessity.

this is a really long stream of consciousness ramble that im not entirely certain how to end but yeah 👍 Dirge Transgender Real

[majorasnightmare]

obligatory horny post but dirge going into a killing frenzy and forgoing his spellcasting to just start digging his hands into stomach cavities and ripping out throats with his teeth

tearing through enemy after enemy and the party scrambling behind him because they need one of them alive to interrogate but hes too lost in the sauce to stop himself

until he gets to the last one and pins them down and goes to break their spine with his teeth and in pure desperation minthara shouts out "HEEL!!"

and he just slowly turns to face her, face covered in gore, some poor sod held in his jaws like they dont weigh anything, eyes blazing with maddened murderous frenzy

and after a moment of wordless eye contact with minthara, he drops them

[majorasnightmare]

Last Lines

Tagged by: @arach-tinilith

No pressure tags!: @trappedinafantasy37 @hootshooch @alicelufenia

Post the last few lines you wrote in your WIP! (or whatever you want im not a cop)

The wrongness is clear and unhidden for a single half instant. It is the tone of something trying very, very hard to disguise itself, to say her name the way a lover would, to curl around its syllables and make itself soft and gentle. But that isn't how he says her name. To hear him say it, it is as if he would pluck the celestial choirs from the heavens to capture just a fragment of the melody of it. A hushed devout reverence, warm and saturated with affection, a delectable offering her proffers only rarely. There is so much love in her name when he says it that for a moment it becomes a language entire, and so he says it only rarely, but every single time it strikes a spark within him that suffuses his features with its glow. She feels it every time she melds her thoughts with his, a devotion as reliable as the tide, an intensity that rivals the glinting divinity that bursts from the point of her mace into a conflux of radiance and pain.

It says her name like a lover would, certainly, but not her lover. Not her hound.

[majorasnightmare]

ur honor i LOVE THEM

[majorasnightmare]

Hi again i got second hand dirgepilled and started thinking about how Minthara’s enslavement was a result of Dirge's actions and i wanna know how you think they handled that individually and as a couple 🎤

his IMPACT!! i made dinner while responding to this LMAO

i love taking minthara to the gortash coronation for EXACTLY this because dirge gets 20x hotter in minthys opinion and meanwhile dirge wants to crawl into a hole and die, we love to see it

on mintharas end, for why she views it so positively, i think its a combination of ruthless politics and personal self loathing. she blames herself for her own enslavement and tells dirge as much when he asks. she admires the brutal efficiency of the absolute plot because at her core, shes a schemer. minthara can see the absolute plot the way bhaalist!dirge saw it: a near unstoppable train of inertia leading to the end of the world, and its setup and execution is admirable in its thoroughness. bhaalist!dirge was a deeply unwell but viciously competent individual and the Absolute was the culmination of all the traits that made him dangerous and desirable in equal measure. To capture and harness so much power so perfectly, such that the only way it could ever topple was to be destabilized from within, is something Minthara would admire, because I doubt theres ever been a plot so thoroughly insulated from outside actors in Menzoberranzan. Minthara isnt capable of laying blame for her enslavement at Dirge's feet, because that would require she stop blaming herself first, and that opinion is so iron clad and engrained its even stopped producing an emotional reaction: her failure is blunt and matter of fact, devoid of detectable guilt or indignation. She tells this to you with the same cadence one would remark upon the weather. She was arrogant and proud, and she brought it on herself, same as the sun rises.

Dirge meanwhile stumbles back into his old habit of Catholic Guilt, except instead of feeling like a failure for not properly adhering to the tenants of his religion, he feels like a failure for violating the tenets of his NEW religion, caring about these 8 people. Not only can he not properly shield Minthara from something he feels is HIS problem (as he no longer actively seeks help for the Urges and by extension freeing himself from Bhaal), he is also directly immediately responsible for putting them irrevocably in danger. There is a tadpole chewing through their brains and its his fault. They might have their minds twisted and stolen from them by the Absolute and its his fault. Orin captured and tortured Minthara until she broke under her lash and was forced to worship her torturer and its his fault. He routinely holds himself to a higher standard than anyone else, and habitually excuses and forgives the mistakes and aggravations of his companions, and both of those come out in spades here. Because not only is it NOT Minthara's fault, it isnt even ORIN'S fault. Its HIS fault. He promised Minthara to guard her and never abandon her if she would take on the burden of leashing him in the right direction, and he failed even before they ever properly met. It reinforces his growing belief that the person he is NOW matters less than the person he used to be, because now hes a contemptable weakling unable to meaningfully protect the things he cares about because the holes in his brain trip him up before he even leaves the starting gate. He didnt use to be like this. He used to be stronger, more capable. He nearly killed the world. THAT person would have been strong enough, KNOW enough, that he would have been able to see in Minthara what he sees now and spare her from the torments that were not, and COULD not, be her fault. He couldve leveraged his influence to properly ally with her, WITHOUT the tadpoles, on even terms, on even grounds, where he didnt have red mist in his mind where his past should be, the ability to be open and explicit when now there are questions he doesnt even know how to answer because try as he might to get the people he loves some kind of closure, the ghost hes chasing always vanishes when he gets close. Nevermind that that person wouldnt have WANTED to protect Minthara, at the very least he could have spared her the dishonor of torture and just killed her at the table with her comrades. The knowledge of it haunts him with no clear way to escape

Relationship wise, this discrepancy REALLY puts a strain on things. Minthara has a heightened respect and admiration for her lover, who hates and loathes himself for a perceived lack of ability and responsibility for inflicted harm. Dirge closes himself off almost completely, and only Astarion and Minthara are paying close enough attention to notice. By this point, Minthara is intimately familiar with the corridors and channels of Dirge's mind, but what once was an open house becomes a series of closed doors, and shes insightful enough to know exactly what the fuck is going on. Dirge is always hesitant and cautious when opening up about the Urge, and all of those doors have the exact same fingerprints on them. Minthara wasnt present when Dirge initially closed himself off back in Act 1, so this turn of behavior cant hide behind normalization the way it does with everyone else, and Minthara incorrectly assumes its solely about the threat Orin poses, because Orin occupies an inflated position of danger for Minthara that she doesnt for Dirge. She WANTS to pry those doors open, and doesnt get why she doesnt seem to have the right key, when shes had it every other time? And its because its a guilt she cant actually ascribe to Dirge, so her understanding isnt capable of drawing out his vulnerability like before. In Minthara's mind, Dirge's reluctance is about his perceived weakness and ability to master the power Bhaal offers him, his hesitation is in facing a Bhaalspawn who had bested him once before who has had this entire time to enjoy the power hes going to take from her, and POSSIBLY a sentimental reluctance to killing his sister. So its confusing how reasserting his ability to conquer and maim, referring to his strength of will in dominating the Absolute, and reassurances that they will best Orin together isnt fixing the issue? Hes never been this badly shaken about anything before, and nerves this close to the climax are understandable, but whats perplexing is their persistence. Surely Orin isnt half as intimidating as facing down the Avatar of Myrkul?

Its a terror Dirge struggles to verbalize, and its really a "you either Get It or you Don't" kind of deal. Astarion is the only one who gets the full picture because he IMMEDIATELY clocks that Dirge was a Lethal Bhaalist the same way HES a Powerful Vampire. All that strength didnt do a damned thing for the masters that held the leash, and it recontextualizes every previous bout of anxiety Dirge had in his presence, to be less "Im a Powerful Predator and it Frightens Me" to the equivalent of "Cazador might make me kill someone I brought home again". And thats an experience Minthara can and SHOULD be able to grok, except she hasn't gotten to the point where she can view her experiences as comparable to others because shes so locked in to her perception of herself as someone who Failed, and her opinion of Dirge is so high that comparing the two FEELS like an insult to her lover.

The reality is that Dirge is a different person now than the one who enacted the Absolute plot. The person he is now is no more responsible for Minthara's torture than Minthara is for the actions she took under mindcontrol. There are traits there, still present, that came to the fore during those times, and those are still worthy of critique and responsibility, but at the end of the day, while both of them retain the capacity to BE those people, they simply are Not those people anymore. Dirge wants to make amends, to atone for a guilt and trauma he feels he can never fix, but all thats necessary is what he already plans on doing: making sure he lives up to his promise of keeping Minthara safe by ensuring Bhaal doesnt get to use him as a vessel to objectify her and trap her in the same cycle of abuse hes perpetuated in his family for years now. Minthara needs what shes always needed: consistent safety and trust, with the freedom to be vulnerable, and the support of someone whos invested in standing beside her, not in front of her. By the time Mintharas capable of forgiving herself for her own trauma, I dont think she would blame Dirge for it even then, but his decision to choose her over his own life at the Temple would lose some of its sting. The person ACTUALLY responsible for her torture is the person Dirge would rather die than have power over her again

[majorasnightmare]

I’m gonna neeeedddd uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a number 2, a number 9, a number 22, with a side order of 25

*dirge customer service voice* will that be all for you today? :) your total is going to be 42.96

2. What would break your OC beyond repair? Has it happened?

any mindbreak slash ego death scenario, which most of the Embrace endings qualify for. giving up all possibility of ever breaking free from Bhaal and having his personality subsumed into the Urge would ruin him. Anything resembling the person who formerly went by "Dirge" would get passed through the Urge funhouse mirror to come out distorted on the other end as his old bhaalist mindset snaps back into place, this time more permanently, and without the dissomance he used to experience. No suffering, no doubt, no Dirge, just Murder Incarnate. The "lose to Orin" endings would also thoroughly break him, because he wouldn't kill himself on the promise that he wouldn't abandon Minthara, in the vain hope something could be done to save him from the affliction. In that go around he'd end up locked in her basement eating her political enemies that she disposes of down there to keep the Urge satiated enough to stop a serious attempt at breaking out. If they ever managed to pull Bhaal's essence out of him after that, he'd be a shell of a person, more or less permanently housebound because of how much of his soul he just had ripped out, and that coupled with a less than healthy lifestyle of Exclusively Cannibalism would exacerbate his disabilities. In that hypothetical specifically, he wouldn't get better (and WOULD eventually die of a shortened mortal lifespan), but it'd be a life he was happy to live, however short and difficult it was, with Minthara. especially since it comes on the heels of a living unlife of madness and incoherence.

Some other AU hypotheticals come CLOSE, like one where the absolute pulls out a final Ace up her sleeve and snags Dirge out of prism range, but he WOULD technically get better. after a while. and after a LOT of damage was done

The only thing that could possibly meet the definition of "pre existing Break Beyond Repair" would be Orin's lobotomy resulting in Dirge's amnesia and soft personality reset, which more or less symbolically killed the person dirge used to be beyond any possibility of resurrection. and honestly, bhaalist!dirge was more than happy to go.

9. What is the greatest sacrifice your OC could ever make? Under what circumstance would they make it?

Dirge is a deeply selfish person, and simultaneously incredibly pragmatic. He regularly trades his flesh as tokens for prizes he deems more worthy, letting Volo jab his eye out because his patron alerts him to the presence of the prosthetic one that Volo would be unlikely to trade away on a whim except out of guilt. Not only does he avoid martyrdom as a rule, he also makes a point of making OTHERS avoid martyrdom, partially because he thinks living is worth it, but not insignificantly because HE wants them around. He is, generally, opposed to sacrifice on what amounts to the closest thing to moral grounds a bhaalspawn like him CAN have. He never picks fights he thinks he can lose, he never gives up what he finds value in keeping, anything he surrenders he makes sure he gets back in equal or greater value, because this dudes just straight up a bargain hunting deal making pact negotiating warlock, through and through. a GOOD warlock, a skilled one, does not sacrifice, as a rule. that wyll is prone to sacrificing himself and also so miserable in his pact is no coincidence in dirges mind

With all that being said. He'd do it for Minthara. He doesnt WANT to, mind you, because what he WANTS is to spend the rest of their lives together (ideally forever once he finds a way to get immortality where the consequences are worth it), but he'll give up anything, everything, for her wellbeing if push comes to shove. When the Sword of Damocles falls and hes there in the temple holding Orin's corpse, when Bhaal comes to him and demands he take up the mantle of chosen again or he'll kill Dirge, when Minthara is begging him to agree and theyll find a way out afterwards together, Dirge knows that letting Bhaal have such a strong presence in his soul, to take on the form of Slayer, to claim the Absolute in Bhaal's name, would be to reduce Minthara to nothing better than an agreeable broodmare in Bhaal's eyes, that Dirge would be driven to sire spawn regardless if he wants to or not, that those spawn would in turn be driven to killing their mother, and that even if he resisted, the only other option would be to kill her, to deprive her of her dream of ruling side by side. It would be another link in the long chain of abuse, set in motion long ago by a man who wanted to become divine, no matter what it cost him, and the idea of subjecting Minthara to hypothetical years of debasement, servitude, abuse, and suffering repulses Dirge to his very core. in that moment he weighs his death and the suffering itd cause against that far flung future, and the choice is overwhelmingly clear. Its that moment that makes him realize more than anything else that he WANTS to live, and thats why he has to choose to die, sacrifice everything he wanted with her, sacrifice everything he wanted FOR her, sacrifice every last second he was going to spend at her side, because her life is worth more to him than that. even as he bleeds out he never doubts for a single moment that theyre going to face the Absolute and come out victorious. and even as he hates the position hes in, hed make the same choice there, every single time

22. What is your OC the most guilty about?

Not being more involved in Orin's life. Being the first domino that resulted in Minthara's torture at Moonrise. Killing his parents. Killing Alfira. Constrained by circumstance, swept up by the inertia of passing time, things spiral away from his control and he cant stop it or fix it. Couldn't manage to break out of his role enough to keep from swallowing Orin in his shadow, didn't know Minthara yet and thus couldn't love her enough to spare her before she ever left the Underdark, trapped and feral and useless screaming madly on Kressa's work table while in the same prison Orin forces a tadpole into Minthara, waking up in the dead of night with no awareness or control covered in the gore of someone he couldn't stop himself from killing.

Living through all of it when the people who gave him the second life he lives (that he didn't earn, that he doesn't deserve) both end up crushed under his boot.

25. What does your OC love most, and what would they do to keep it?

Dirge, ironically enough for a death cult nihilist, is a real loverboy. Beneath every horror and every atrocity and every sacrilege and blasphemy, is love. He loved Bhaal as his Father, and wanted to be a good dutiful son. He loved Orin, and wanted to keep her from being broken by expectation. He loved Gortash, enough that it started to untwist the suicidal desire for slaughter that he had carried for most of his life, loved him enough to think about wanting to live. He loves his friends, Astarion and Gale and Lae'zel and Wyll and Shadowheart and Karlach, loves Jaheira and Minsc, loves Isobel and Aylin. He loves Minthara, loved her at first sight, loves her just as an intrinsic facet of his soul. When Dirge loves, it is deep and sincere and genuine and thorough, the scales of his affection balanced against the vast disdain and apathy for the world by the sheer world-cracking love he feels for this small handful of people. Power and wealth and material goods can be obtained as often as needed, but these people? It is only here, and it is only now.

To keep them? To have them and to hold them and to be around them? He would do anything. But honestly whats more insightful is what he doesn't do. Killing is cheap for Dirge. The inflicting of pain, the enactment of atrocities, plumbing new depths of suffering. Rote and habitual. That he would storm all nine Hells and spear Zariel's head on a pike is a given. No, what matters is that to keep those he loves, he will stay his hand.

He doesn't kill Ulder Ravenguard. Wyll wants his father to live, so it doesn't matter to Dirge that he hates the man for his treatment of Wyll, hates that all the affection and tenderness didn't spare Wyll from seven years of exile, hates that even now he doesn't feel Ulder gives Wyll his due. For this he'd happily flay the man alive until the screams rang out a perfect melody in his ears. But Wyll wants Ulder alive. Wants his father back, wants to have him and to talk to him. So Dirge stays his hand, goes out of his way to break Wyll's pact but rescue Ulder anyways. Wyll asks for so little, that Dirge will always give him what he wants.

He doesn't tell Jaheira to keep the ritual that would allow her to extend her life, to live and guide and fight as long as shes needed. Jaheira has lovers, family, friends, all dearly missed, and more than that she is running herself ragged fighting the good fight. It doesn't matter if Dirge thinks the Harpers are fools, if Dirge personally wants Jaheira to live so he can stay with her, what matters is Jaheira needs to rest. Needs to see the people she's left behind, needs to see Khalid again one day. Regardless of what he wants, Dirge wouldn't put her through that

To keep what he loves, Dirge will force himself to stillness for their sakes

[majorasnightmare]

📢 HEEEIIIIIIIGHT DIFFERENCEEEEEEEE 📢 💯🔥💯🔥

[majorasnightmare]

actually cuz its on my mind

dirge grieving habits lets goooo

funeral practices dont come easily for him. he wasnt made to mourn. every death should be celebrated, after all. at the end of all things, thered be nothing left to mourn and no one worth mourning for. but dirge loves, and he grieves, and thus, he mourns.

it is an awkward, bumbling thing. funerals are for the living, after all. there is no body to bury, and he cannot even ask orin if she would want him to mourn her. cant ask how shed want to be remembered. if she wants him to remember her. the entire ordeal is nothing but his own ego, his own desires, his own projections. more guilt on top of it all. but he cant do nothing. cant let her go unremembered

so he theres a lone grave marker, overlooking the chionthar. the river always helped him find peace. its less a resting place and more a place to remember her (dirge knows where she is. there is no rest where shes gone)

i think that a month before his birthday/her death anniversary, dirge picks an art medium at random and spends that month trying to make something in it, and then takes the end product to her marker. leaves it there to show her his progress. and i think he spends the morning just talking. about how his life is going, what hes doing, what hes been thinking about. if hes remembered anything new. explains how he came out. talks about his regrets, his apologies, how much he wishes things could have turned out differently, how much he wishes bhaal didnt steal their lives from both of them. guilt and grief and shame and self indulgence and guilt all over again. doesnt know if shed be happy to be remembered when there was no one left for her, or if shed think it was just one more self serving gradiose gesture. he kind of suspects the latter, but he cant bring himself to stop.

its a private affair. goes by himself in the early morning. he wont ask anyone to mourn a monster. he wont deny thats what she was. but they were monsters together. he didnt deserve the second life he got but he has it anyways. orin may not deserve to be grieved but he loved her anyways. he doesnt ask minthara to come, or to help. wont ask her to remember her torturer. minthara lets him grieve a past he'll never recover, because at the end of it all, he chose her over himself. sacrificed everything, his life, his past, his sister, his power, just to keep her from being victimized at his hands. so if he wants to mourn a monster, she wont stop him. as she well knows, hes made a habit of loving them anyways.

[majorasnightmare]

1, 37, 45 for dirge?

every time someone else wants to watch me beat content out of dirge pinata style, an angel gets their wings 💜 thank u anon for helping me bruise his ribs uwu

1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

Stretching the definition of "says" here to mean "concept conveyed to another person", the lie Dirge peddles the most often is that he's a trustworthy compassionate individual. He isn't keen to act as such around his friends, because he loves them enough to be genuine, and in his Bhaalist days it was an effort unbecoming of his station. This usually means that in private, he comes off as a deeply weird murderous individual only barely constrained by social decorum because thats what he is. The failing is in assuming that this is the ONLY way he's capable of being.

Dirge is exceptionally proficient in putting on a performance of himself as charming, pleasant, down to earth, defanged and harmless. He'll keep some general eccentricities because they can be used to accent that performance, and an element of genuineness makes the deception go down smoother, and this is a skillset he honed in his years of being an utterly cracked nihilistic death priest who otherwise seemed incapable of basic normal pleasantries like smiling warmly. Its easier NOW than its ever been before, but his lethality hasn't lost even a whisper of its deadly edge. He plays this performance whenever he feels it benefits him, primarily when expecting to interact with someone and get something useful out of them multiple times, where he isn't invested enough in their personhood to go to the effort of being both friendly AND sincere. In this regard, seeing him shift to being openly more unhinged towards someone he otherwise does not care about should be perceived in the manner of a dangerous animal dropping its camoflauge to start flashing bright venemous colors: *I am capable of killing you and I no longer need to hide that from you*.

When it comes to strangers, his honesty is far more dangerous than the well crafted lies.

37. What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell?

It ended up coming out anyways to Minthara, but Dirge was deeply, viscerally terrified of Bhaal and the influence the god held over his actions, his safety, and his personhood. His experiences with the Urge throughout Act 1 and the party's reactions to them resolidified a compulsion he struggled with for most of his life as a Bhaalist: these are his problems and his issues and to bring them to others awareness or to ask for help is a moral failing he needs to atone for through suffering, and if he struggles to conquer them on his own, that simply means he was just weak. When his relationship with Minthara properly starts in Act 2, Dirge had found a comfortable position where he felt in control of himself and capable of handling the Urge's semi regularly, and had begun making his peace with his new life as an amnesiac who most likely wasn't going to recollect the person he used to be. Its from that foundation that he romances Minthara, and it's that foundation thats rocked to its core when he tries to kill her in the night and then discovers hes a bhaalspawn, both of those occurrences happening shortly after hunting Ketheric to the depths of Moonrise Towers and discovering what had happened to him in the mindflayer colony below. Because Minthara joined after that habit had been established, but hadn't seen it be triggered, she wasn't in a position to address it and stop that mindset from fully taking root, so when Dirge is blasted by these multiple sources of trauma and stress, he clams up completely, with zero intention of informing anyone beyond information they need to stay safe from him

Dirge keeps secret every private fear, every personal act of violation inflicted on him by Bhaal (he gets the heart stop dialogue from the chapel), every nauseating Urge, until it draws someone else into the line of fire, and even then he emphasizes that he's going to be the one to work on it and he's going to be the one to fix it. With Minthara, the compulsion feels even sharper because Dirge is well aware that Minthara values independence and self sufficiency, so in addition to not wanting to risk her safety, there's the addition of not wanting to come off as weak willed or powerless, even if thats how he feels. If Dirge had it his way, he'd never confess those secret anxieties, he'd just try to handle it himself until it either got fixed, or stabilized into something he could suffer through regularly.

Its probably for the best he isn't allowed to do that, for him and for Minthara

45. What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

I answered this one already here! But i'll try for a second one 🤔

I think something completely stupid that drives Dirge up the wall is people presuming a lack of knowledge in him without any indication of it. Its one thing if Dirge professes not to know something and then for that to be assumed to continue to be true, because his sporadic recollection isn't particularly reliable or predictable, so even if he recalls knowledge *later* he still understands someone assuming otherwise since he's given them reason to think so.

Right out the gate though? Oh fuuuuuck you. Every time Gale opened his mouth about being the magic expert, presuming Dirge had nothing to contribute to the discussion, Dirge seethed hard enough im sure it had a visible aura. Gale only tried that twice, and then wisely stopped rocking THAT boat.

[majorasnightmare]

12, 45, and 36!

THANK YOUUUUUUUU i love these ask memes because i am FULL of otherwise contextless Dirge trivia 💜💜💜

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Dirge has a critical weakness for puns. Minthara truly is the funniest person he knows. "It was a beautiful webbing" kills him EVERY time, and this was true pre tadpoling too. He just took himself so seriously and projected such an intimidating presence, no one ever tried.

45. What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

Dirge loathes clothes shopping with a vengeance. Its a combination of being surrounded by people, cramped spacing, and dealing with a monotonous repetitive task. I dragged him through the lower city to get better drip and dark urge dialogue, and in his canon Astarion wanted new duds and he got stuck outside the changing room with Naaber. It was a bad day to be afflicted with the Urge.

36. Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

Dirge's primary profession is being Jeff The Killer and there isn't really anyone one can use for professional gain in THAT career. Post epilogue he struggles a lot with a general lack of direction and kind of just freelances using his skillset of murder, alchemy, dungeon delving, necromancy, and general encyclopedic knowledge and arcanic study to just kinda do whatever, but prioritizes anything that benefits Minthara and her political moves.

Now, Minthara's web of connections most DEFINITELY include a collection of people she keeps around exclusively because they benefit her and can be utilized in the future, and it IS 100% for malicious intent, because they're function is to be exploited and then discreetly discarded. Anyone in contact with Minthara inevitably comes into contact with Dirge, who playacts accordingly to advance Minthara's goals, but when the timer runs out, Dirge is going to be the one who gets to play clean up. So I suppose that counts as someone he keeps around, for her sake!

[majorasnightmare]

What canon character gets annoyed by dirge? Has dirge ever had to let a canon character down easy? Who would dirge most likely to get a puppy-crush on? (but it can’t be the cc they’re actually shipped with!)

THANK YOU ANONNNN 💜💜💜💜 i love being enabled in my blorbo posting it gives me a reason to procrastinate my real world responsibilities 💜

What canon character gets annoyed by Dirge?

Dirge is often deeply infuriating and only rarely annoying. In practice it actually tends to be Minthara, because Minthara is the only person who makes a point of making Dirge justify his decision making to her, as everyone else will have their own opinions but not really push them. Its part of how they respect each other because despite Dirge relying on Minthara and the power she voluntarily wields over him, he disagrees with her every so often, and refuses to capitulate his opinions just because she holds his leash. It's a fond annoyance though, because Minthara enjoys that he holds his ground against her despite being otherwise submissive, and she knows that she can always push him on it if its something she feels strongly about.

Everyone else either rolls their eyes or gets the full unabashed Fuck You treatment

Has Dirge ever had to let a canon character down easy?

GODDDDD YEAH. YEAH. Act 1 Dirge was very much exploring the social dynamics of Being In A Relationship With Other People and hadn't quite grokked the nuances between platonic, romantic, and sexual affection, so he mimicked a lot of what the others around him were doing, which meant a looooooot of casual flirting. The other companions are looking for their own kind of social fulfilment, but Dirge is still learning the rules, so he gets some lines crossed. By the time Dirge DOES have a better idea of what he wants out of a relationship, hes more or less tripped head over dick into sleeping with half the party.

Shadowheart never really kicked things off after the cliffside wine drinking, Lae'zel was more interested in Dirge's brother Haflidi and less interested in the party bicycle. Astarion and Dirge had a casual fuck buddies situation up until Act 2 where they both mutually figure out they're looking for something more platonic. Karlach and Dirge flirted off and on for a while and after getting her engine tuned up, had a one time friends-with-benefits situation (because homies help homies. always.) and both of them moved pretty squarely into being casually physically intimate friends. Gale caught feelings hard and after a very emotional confession in the shadow cursed lands, Dirge had to very gently let him down because the things they both wanted out of a relationship weren't really things the other could provide. Still fucked him tho cuz gods be damned if Dirge was gonna let a bro go to his death with MYSTRA as his last fuck. Wyll did his storybook romance dance routine and Dirge had to gently let Wyll down for more or less the same reasons as Gale, except Wyll wasn't interested in anything more than an admittedly very nice night in each others company. That one hurt the most because Dirge has a critical weakness to puppy dog eyes.

God this dude got around.

Who would Dirge most likely get a puppy-crush on? (but it can't be the cc they're actually shipped with!)

Dirge had a lethal case of love at first sight with Minthara, which solidified when he got a glimpse of the person beneath the Absolute when Minthara tried to pry into his mind for the Grove's location, and the subsequent mental struggle peeled away some of the cultist veneer. After refusing to kill her while defending the Grove, he genuinely didn't think he'd see her again, and I think he developed a bit of a puppy-crush on Karlach afterwards, especially because he can't physically interact with her, and thus can't properly fix her scent in his mind, and it sticks in his head. It settles into their more casual friendship but i think in the inbetween of the Underdark and the Creche its kind of up in the air

[majorasnightmare]

also dirge cracking his egg and then treating minthara to the view of her partner wearing nothing but a bra she stole from her (cuz she haaaates clothes shopping) crouched down overtop the still twitching body of a failed assassin that dirge mauled to death, too startled from being jolted out of sleep to fire off a spell so she had to use her claws and teeth, so shes just there, in mintharas lingerie, painted in gore, highlighted by the faint rays of moonlight shining through the window, even now an ever loyal attack hound as her tongue darts out between scarred lips to swipe a taste of the red splattering her face

like alright well if your gonna do all THAT then you might as well get back in bed since we arent going back to sleep anytime soon, not with you looking like THAT and being all worked up to boot

[majorasnightmare]

like mintharas whole thing in a relationship is power comfort and control. right. so i just think seeing an otherwise insensible frenzied killing machine thats already covered in the leftovers of a murder spree stop himself solely at her behest, indicating a degree of trust and also, in a sense, real palpable power, is something that would immediately hit minthara like a truck and go straight to her head

like okay yeah sure youll kill for me, but youll stop for me? youll deny your nature and very instinct for me? youll submit to my authority over you even though youre possessed of the power to turn a human body into pulled pork? thus indicating that while the differences in physical power may be more closely matched, at this time, your saying i have power over you? that i can just. make you do shit? not because ill physically overpower you but because you trust me more than your own divine instict and will thus submit to me even it you dont agree or understand?

shed love it. shed go nuts for it. hottest thing in the world to her. its the "keeping a werewolf on a leash" of it all.