#DIRGETHARA MY BELOVED.... THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING

[majorasnightmare]

follow-up question to the ask about Dirge's adoptive parents: how does being raised by drow in early childhood affect his relationship with Minthara? does it make a difference?

how does it affect their relationship when Dirge inevitably remembers them (and how they died)?

DIRGETHARA POSTING HOURS ARE REAL AND RIGHT NOW!!! in response to THIIIIIS older ask!

The memories Dirge gets in game are all he gets. He never remembers anything more about his parents. The Emperor's Dream Guardian disguise falling is the only Extrs Bonus lore Dirge gets, with the vaguest recollection its his mother once he gets the Heal memory of killing his family. Other than that? Nothing. His parents are strangers to him, and he barely recalls his father's face, the memory distorted by time and savagery both. His mothers image is overlaid with the Emperor's deception. He recalls nothing of his childhood, with him or with Orin. His life starts that day in the Nautiloid, with vague blurry context before it. His past is a ghost he can never see clearly.

Minthara, in a lot of ways, is Dirge's only real connection to that past. The context that gave rise to his parents, the circumstances that led to them being involved in his life. He doesn't get to have any answers about their lives or their upbringings, the food they missed or the traditions they wouldve wanted to take with them. He doesnt even know if they *liked* Menzo. All he can do is learn as much as he can, and Minthara is Dirge's only real window into that world. Its one that ends up meaning a surprising amount to him.

Initially his curiosity about Menzoberranzan was because of his interest in Minthara herself, but post act 3 (when hes seen his mother and recognized her image as such thru the emperor, and recalls the killing of his parents), it takes on a personal interest. After the epilogue, Dirge really has to build himself up as someone who exists outside of Bhaal, something and someONE more than just another bhaalspawn. He has to contextualize his identity and his personhood beyond the scraps Bhaal has left him with. Part of that is his heritage as a tiefling of course (which he has ties with through Karlach), part of that is his religious upbringing (which Shadowheart and Isobel can also contribute to), but a prominent part he has no context for is that he was taken in by a drow couple in the poor part of the Gate. In that way, Minthara's recollection of Menzoberranzan is both his past, through his parents, and his future, through her.

I think Minthara groks that very early on. Shes someone deeply defined by her origins and the background it gave her, and knows Dirge is more or less floundering lost in that regard. Its... difficult, to live contextless. She couldn't imagine it for herself, and she'd hate for it to happen to anyone else. Everyone is a result of the circumstances that gave rise to them, and while the rest of the world has the privellege of knowing themselves (even if most lack the desire to interrogate themselves as such), Dirge is forced to play detective even as his past looms ever present like an eternal poltergeist. Defined and forged by invisible mysteries, their mechanisms forever shrouded by the fog of amnesia and trauma. Minthara likes to feel needed, like shes useful and contributing, and while that subsides some once shes settled into her new life in the Gate, she does still take a non insignificant amount of pride and satisfaction in being Dirge's *only* connection to Menzo. Not to the degree of sabotage, but theres something comforting about her partner not only taking an interest in her life because its *hers*, but because its something irreplacable she can offer *him* too. Minthara enjoys that fluid past-present relation Menzo now occupies for them: her fondly remembered childhood, his shrouded past, their lives entagled in each other so inextricably. The flavors and customs he mightve grown up with, an intrinsic part of his beloved. Its very... warm, if that makes sense. Theres a lot of earnest, genuine sincerity to it, on both their ends. An equal amount of self interest and compassion. Its very reciprocal. And it forms a lot of the bedrock foundation that makes up both of them, as individuals and as a couple.

Overall, Dirge being raised by drow didn't end up having much influence on his personality, because of Bhaal's intervention. He ended up a perfect fit for Menzo anyways out of sheer coincidence (and, as Minthara would probably affirm, its simply the most efficient and logical conclusion to reach when in circumstances necessitating the acquisition of power 😤 #MenzoNumber1) but not as a result of his upbringing. Well. Not as a result of his PARENTS upbringing that is. Hard to impart much cultural heritage when your making ends meet in a foreign surface city where your barely tolerated and definitely not accepted, raising a toddler who MIIIIGHT be subject to Evil Influences (if the rumors about tieflings are anything to go by) but is mostly just Loudly Three Years Old, all while juggling work and domestic care and managing schedules and also trying to find some way to snag presents and treats for the big-eyed little creachur back home. Dirge was honestly JUST getting to about the age where things werent so hectic and he didn't need so much constant attention, which wouldve given them some much needed breathing room to really share that heritage with Dirge, but god forbid Bhaals favorite knife arm gets anything.

So the long and short of it is that Dirge's parents didnt have time to contribute much to how he turned out, but the vacancy they left behind is a shared point of connection for both him and Minthara, so even though they were prevented from helping to shape the person he used to be, in no small way they get to contribute to the person he gets to be now.