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your-shield-of-love · 4 years

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The disbanded Inquisition members looked out from the balcony, the last Inquisitor looking to the future and their family taking in the view.

"Leliana." A small voice called out to her, all the members recognised the voice but Leliana was the first to look at her. Kalle Sabrae, Hero of Fereldan, Warden Commander of Fereldan and the Warden who fixed the Wardens, stood in the middle of the doorway.

Her eyes warm and teary, only looking at her love. Before Kalle could open her mouth to say something, Leliana dashed to her, the Divine hat falling off, which Cole quickly caught. The couple embraced, Kalle lifting Leliana off the ground to spin her for a few moments. They kiss, having missed eachother since Kalle had visited Skyhold last - a year ago. "I missed you." Kalle breathed, smirking nervously, "Sorry I couldn't see you sooner."

Leliana has her arms wrapped around Kalle's neck, slowly loosening the grip and smiling, "I thought you would have at least written. Or I would have received reports on where you were."

Kalle laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck, "Well, your people wouldn't have been looking for a plain raven that wasn't theirs." She looked away from Leliana, smiling to the group and her eyes landing on Varric before she pulled Leliana back to them. "I would have wrote but you know me, always planning secret missions and going through with them with no warning." The couple stops at the centre of them, beside the Inquisitor.

Leliana laughs, shaking her head at Kalle, realising her hat appeared on her head without realising. "Thank you, Cole." Leliana smiles, Cole nodding to her.

"You're welcome. Would you like my hat?" Cole offers to Kalle who smiles, but shakes her head.

"No spoilers, but advise would be good?" She tilts her head to Cole, who she wrote to when she also wrote to Leliana, and was friends with him.

"The news they need to hear first, they can hear your happiness afterwards. It would hurt a bit if it was the other way around." Cole spoke to her, Kalle smiled at the advice and looked to the group. "I have someone I need you all to come see." Kalle let's go of Leliana's hands and guides the groups to the infirmary, the staff parting to let the group through and before the staff opens the doors, Kalle holds her hands up.

"Wait a moment, please." She turned to the companions, arms placed behind her back and they knew she meant business. "There are a few things you need to know."

Leliana tells the staff within the room to leave, when they do, she nods to Kalle.

"After defeating the blight, things that were like the rifts appeared." Kalle began,

"I'm sure we've had this conversation before." The Inquisitor teased.

Sera jumped in, "Aye we have, so just tell us quickly, no background stuff!"

Varric laughed, "Buttercup, a good story needs details. Continue." He waves his arms to Kalle, who smiles relaxed in return as thanks, which he hummed at. He also stepped forward to her, the two had gotten to know eachother pretty well since Kalle appeared in Kirkwall all those years ago and he knew she preferred friends close when nervous, Varric wondered if she'd consider coming to Kirkwall for a holiday? He had yet to show off how Kirkwall changed and he could imagine Kalle would be thrilled with how it was developing. She could maybe give pointers too, since she helped Fereldan rebuild. Though Hawke would have been more excited about how Kirkwall had improved, though they would have complained that there wasn't enough danger anymore or maybe they wouldn't?

Kalle continued, "Well, I'll make this short. I could close rifts and such back then but um, what I didn't tell you... Was that when I was on the way to Skyhold, I closed a rift..." she looked guilty, "I'm sorry I didn't say but, I had my duty to the Wardens." She bowed her head slightly and before she or anyone could say anything,

"Rain pouring, 'no one around to see or be be hurt if it goes wrong'. Foot raised like before, the kick that closes the rift. Fear, worry, happiness, responsibility but you already had those. It's okay you didn't say, the Inquisitor had already planned to close it. It's good that you don't have more weight." Cole spoke, standing beside Kalle and patting her shoulder, "Doubt, sadness, guilt. You could have done more but it would have been wrong. You would have become broken and you needed to keep together. You did good." Kalle smiles sadly but relieved at him, pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you." Kalle and Cole spoke, making her laugh. They pulled apart and she looked across the group to see if anyone else had anything to say.

"It's alright, continue." Inquisitor smiled, wondering where this was going.

"So um... After Hawke," she paused, "I wondered if I could," The air became tense, "Open a rift." Varric watched her, pain and hope sparking within him, "It didn't work." Her eyes dropped to the floor, "I was... really fucking upset and pissed. I thought about asking you," she looked to the Inquisitor before raising her head again, "But I knew if you could ... then you would have." Kalle sighs, "But my stubborn ass wanted to make sure. To check. But I had to return to my crew, they needed my information and thoughts. I also had to prepare for them to kick Warden ass when we got back. So I left, did all that but... 8 months ago I returned to Fereldan."

Leliana interrupted, "And you didn't say anything?"

A frown started on Kalle's face, "No, I was going to but... I knew if I did, you would stop me." Her face grew serious, determination blazing in her eyes. "I couldn't let you or anyone stop me, so... I went to Adamant." Varric had her full attention, he didn't want hope or bad news or... but what if Hawke was rescued? Recovering in the infirmary behind Kalle? He held himself back. He was afraid to hope, 'and kid, don't say anything'. Cole fingered at that. "I waited till it was early morning, just before the morning watch would have started and... turned back into myself. I stood where the rift was before. I thought of Hawke and..." she swallowed, "I opened a rift. For the first time." Her hands fidgeted, "I closed it behind me, don't worry."

Varric stood wide eyed at her, she turned to him.

"I spent, 7 and a half months looking." She looked grim at first, flinching at whatever she had went through, Leliana reaching out and was about to give her trouble when she laughs slightly. "The big demon you mentioned? Destroyed. No demon in sight for most of my time there... I started to realise as I went along, that there were markers, placeholder on areas. Bodies of demons and such, laying in a particular way. The fear demon was the centre point. So I followed along the signs, there were long paths and I could tell why the length of my hair that it had been 6 months by the time I reached the last path..." Kalle smiles warmly at Varric, another tear in her eyes.

"You found her." Varric hoped, Kalle nodded. Kalle had at least found Marian's body. And at best... He stared at the doors behind her. There was a reason she didn't just open the doors to them.

"Found her, sitting and speaking to Spirits. Definitely not demons, spirits who were to weak to possess her mind but helped her stay sane. When she saw me, she thought I was a demon, she almost beat the shit out of me." Kalle grinned, "The spirits intervened, saying I was real, in the fade with her. A took her about two weeks to be convinced and only believed me when I told her to kill me if she thought I was a demon. Time is different there, your body doesn't need sleep as much and well, as a mage I never ran out of energy... it was disorienting." She shook her head, a sign she thought she was rambling.

"You mean Red was ... fucking shit fuck!" Sera shouted, looking both angry and guilty. Her and a lot if the patrons that were at the tavern grew close to Hawke. Iron Bull grumbled about the fade shit and how he hoped she was alright.

"Well... We got out, about a month and half ago. We ended up a few miles from my safe house." She itched the back of her head, "Which was good because it meant Hawke and myself could recover there for a bit. Or that was the plan. Instead we stayed for a month, then travelled here. Hawke is... they sometimes just space out, break things or have a full breakdown when they feel they're still in the fade. She will struggle with this for a time, so... I think it's best if you want to see her, to do so in small groups. Not alone and not too many." Kalle pats Varrics shoulder. His brain couldn't catch up with his mouth, so much to say and shit... He wanted to see Marian.

"Kid," Varric spoke, "You're with me." Cole nods.

"I'm coming with!" Sera stepped forward, she turns to Iron Bull-

"The Iron Bull?" He looks to Cole, "They are.. the arishok has hurt them in the fade, more than enough times. You should be yourself, not careful or quiet." Iron Bull winked in surprise, before smirking.

Cassandra steps forward, "May I?" She asks Varric, he nods.

"Thanks, Cassandra." He says, making her smile and nod. The four opened the door together and Varric stepped in first.

Hawke always went with they and them pronouns. At first he and him, so that growing up without Malcolm, she could get more jobs but it didn't feel right. Eventually they became happy with being they rather than he or she, though if someone called her she it didn't bother her. Just didn't feel right. Like how you find a dress and realise, 'fuck it, waistcoats for life'. They stood at the window doors, looking at the view and wished they could go fo the balcony. But the staff, and herself worried she'd jump or... the doors opened behind her. Kalle told them she'd get their friends to come visit. They fidgeted with their long hair, they knew they had been in the fade for just over 3 years. Kalle didn't hesitate to tell her, Kalle never lied to anymore unless it was necessary, and even then Kalle didn't like to lie for too long. After defeating the fear demon, Hawke chopped their hair to be short. As they did everytime she felt lost, lost someone or something - like Kirkwall, or on the rare occasion, when she started her life anew. Like after a year of being in servitude, she cut her hair. Now it was long, pulled into a thick ponytail, Kalle had used her mana to make sure no bobble would snap.

They turned and saw, a wheeling Varric. Their gut told then it wasn't him. That this Varric would either be a desire demon again (after like the millionth fucking time), or a despair demon, taunting and using his face to try get them to hate the person they loved most. No despair demon dared after the mess and warning she left. They had to kill fake Varric's more than once and often times had other Varric's shoot at them. Though it wasn't the first time, the first time the actual Varric shot at them. Though he was under the influence.

"Sat by the fire, papers in one hand, quill in the other. Spectacles on and he smiles. Too warm, too hot. 'I'll burn. Is this it? Is this what Papa Dragon told me? When I think of him and think 'this is it?'." Cole spoke, appearing in the room, Hawke smiled subtly at the memory. A memory they forgot because they got scared. It was before the expedition, they had pushed the thoughts and feelings away because they didn't want to get hurt.

Hawke sighs, "You owe me 10 sovereigns." They held their hand out to the Iron Bull, a grin growing on their face. He let out a hearty laugh but Varric held the hand they held out. He stared into their eyes, Hawke looked to him. "I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say before. Not really, anyway." They pulled the dwarf into a hug, Varric pulled his head out from their chest to look up, he was shocked but he cried. Hawke rubbed at his cheeks, he let out a whimper, gripping onto her.

"I... You come back, I plan on giving you a lesson and you just say I love you?" They panic, hoping they didn't fuck something up again, they let out a shaky breath but before they can question anything. "Of course you would." Varric grins brightly, eyes open and tears falling. "I love you, Marian." The two hold eachother.

Iron Bull, after a few moments taps Marian's shoulder. They and Varric look up, he's holding out a coin purse. "Ten sovereigns for bravest way to go. Fucking demons." Hawke grins, swiping the purse.

"Told you, I beat Qunari everytime." They smirk.

"Tal-Vashoth." (Sp? I forget how to spell it sorry) The Iron Bull corrected, he said it the same way Varric spoke about being a dwarf, with not as must distain. There was a story there, one they couldn't wait to Varric to tell. They smiled down to Varric, pulling his teary face into a soft kiss.

~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed ;;

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