#transphobic comments

[kirby-roth]

Rule

[mental-health-advice]

Hi. One of my friends is transphobic and very rude, and appropriates LGBT and pretends to be bisexual. I'm in her homeroom though, so I can't just not be friends with her. she's very popular so I'm very scared that she'll spread rumours about me. I really don't feel comfortable around her anymore, but I'm scared to tell her so. Recently she's been telling me I'm her "best friend" and I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I don't like her at all. I told one of my other friends about her transphobic comments and they made a group chat about how much they hate her. I really don't think that making a groupchat about it is the right thing to do, but I'm not sure what I should do.

Hey there,

It can be really hard when a group of people do something that you don’t agree with. Is it at all possible that you can chat to your other friends about making that group chat and how you disagree with how they are managing the situation with that other friend. Perhaps let them know that you feel it’s not the best way to go about things and brainstorm together ways that you all agree with in regards to the best way handle your other friend who has been making those transphobic comments. Maybe all getting together can be a good thing to do something you all agree with. What do you think?

In regards to not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings, it’s so important that you try to stick to your values as much as possible. I know that you are scared that if you are honest with that friend then they will spread rumours about you, so maybe this is something you can talk to your other group of friends about and ask them that if making the rumours were to happen then if they would have your back? Rumours can only go so far and if a majority of people are there for you then the possibility of the rumours doing/ meaning anything of value is very slim and especially if people know how she is like.

I am not in anyway suggesting that rumours being spread about you is fun in anyway, but if you have a plan in place then you are more equipped to handle things. So therefore if you feel as though you want to be honest with this friend and no longer wanting to be her friend then this is completely OK, you shouldn’t feel tied down and made to be friends with someone you don’t want to be with. And in regards to her being in your homeroom, it doesn’t mean you have to be good or close friends with her, but you can still be friendly when you are needing to be if that makes sense?

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren  

[tahopo]

we truly regressed when people started buying into the genderbending is inherently transphobic thing. yeah that twelve year old being inquisitive and having fun on deviantart was your enemy all along.

[sarasade]

One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post. 

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

[girlboyburger]

people calling me a boy to try and be mean to me is so funny. have you seen my username.

[pansyfemme]

now that i have a bit more of a following on here i randomly get followers who clearly see me as just a popular meme page and then get very freaked out and kinda homophobic when i post selfies like they didn’t follow a blog called pansyfemme

[n0phis]

it is absurd how blatant people are irl. like why is transphobia your idea of smalltalk with a store employee

then they just move on. like boom ! its there and then its gone. theyll spend the next 5 mins asking you about dog food without picking up on ur name tag. swindled by the left again idk we're so sneaky ig

[shalom-iamcominghome]

POV: you block antisemites on this site

[pokemon-radical-red]

I got this comment on a post that I made about being a trans man and noticing how we’re perceived by others. This person is blocked now because I don’t want some transphobe on my blog, but I want to talk a little bit about this.

I like how this person’s trying to convince me that I’m wrong while saying that the only people who would be attracted to us are lesbians who are into butch women. But they can’t use those exact words or else we’ll all KNOW that they’re misgendering us. It’s interesting. Let’s play a game! TERF or transandrophobe. (I’m not scrolling through their blog long enough to find out.)

Okay. Let’s pretend that we live in their world, where trans men are not also a porn category (as someone pointed out in a response comment), and get to the deep cuts!

Now maybe this person defines oversexualization in a different way, and frequently commenting on our bodies—especially our chests—is totally cool and normal to them, because I literally have a post talking about the Tik Tok trend of “oh trans man wants me to respect his pronouns but he has HUGE BOOBS!!! haha this is so funny, guys!” You may notice that in this example here, she claims to feel bad, but then immediately turns around and makes a joke about it. Is describing transmascs essentially as our chests not sexualization? Not to mention dehumanizing considering they refer to this person as “a he/they,” instead of a transmasc or a nonbinary person or anything else.

But if that’s not enough sexualization for you, or you think that it isn’t valid to be upset over that, you can look under the cuts for the disgusting descriptions of our bodies from some transphobes. From some of those “ladies who just like butch,” since they’re innocent and aren’t oversexualizing us because “nobody oversexualizes ftm trans folks,” as the person in the screenshot said confidently.

I wanna say trigger warning for disgusting oversexualization of trans men (including trans men who are in their teens!) under the cut, but huh… the commenter said that nobody oversexualizes trans men, so this can’t be right. (On a serious note, please do heed the trigger warning before deciding to open the rest of the post.)

[proshippers-against-censorship]

*squints*

Beware, arachnophobes.

Extra beware, arachnophiles.

[dazeddoodles]

Raeda smut writers: *Flips coin* Cock it is

Transphobes: If you're short you have a vagina

[adams-r1b]

Personally, I'm looking forward to it ('Inferno' c. 1908 by Franz von Stuck)

[ilikedetectives]

Got spammed (likely bot) on the bird app today with shit ai stuff full of transphobia like 'you'll never be a woman' etc. I am a cis woman but because I go by Colin (name chosen when I barely spoke English, but ended up liking it) and she/they pronouns, people often think I'm trans. I will keep my space as safe as possible for my fellow LGBTQ peeps because you are loved and welcome here. Please stay safe.

[stiffyck]

Every time I see something transphobic I’m transing one more hermits gender.

Starting with-

Cleo. Cleo already uses she/they and they are an icon.

[cannibalismyuri]

i think the thing abt terf idealogy is that its so Sad. imagine calling urself a feminist and saying what makes a woman inherently a woman is her uterus. her ability to produce children. is that what women are? is that what women need to be?

[doeeyeddyke]

was feeling myself today and i think other fat queers should too, and so i do hereby announce this month

Fat Fag February