#transphobia cw and slurs cw in this one

[maeamian]

Hey gang, do me a favor and go skew this gross push poll against the way they're pushing will ya? I'm looking for more 'yes'es because they are pretty obviously hoping you'll vote 'no'

[mintedwitcher]

I just had two transphobes attempt to insult and degrade me by calling me a tranny, because I said I wasn't going to stop referring to cis people as cis. Then they got absurdly angry that I didn't react in the way they wanted when they called me a tranny. Because I've been calling myself that, proudly, for years now. I've reclaimed that term for myself, because fuck yeah I am a tranny. I think it's a funny term and I like it for myself. And these transphobes lost their goddamn minds because I didn't react the way they wanted me to.

See, this is what exposes them, though. They compared being called 'cis', a scientifically accurate term describing their relationship to their gender, to a transphobic slur, implying with that comparison that the terms were of equal moral value and impact. They're so mad about being called 'cis', because they see 'trans' as an insult, and therefore assume 'cis' is an insult. Their worst fear in this world is being assumed to be trans, or being called trans, or even being accused of being supportive or accepting of trans people. Because they see trans existence as inherently subhuman.

They don't even try to cover that up. They demand we use terms like 'normal' or 'biological' when talking about cis people, implying once again that being trans is subhuman. They cannot stand the thought that they could need to be classified in the same way that we classify transness.

This is also, btw, why their arguments and their composure absolutely shatters when you compare the terms 'cis' and 'trans' to terms like 'tall' or 'short' or 'blonde'. Because 'cis' and 'trans' are adjectives, they're descriptors, that's all they are. They're a way to classify groups of people into mostly accurate categories to make discussions simpler.

If I wanted to give a lecture about the commonality of blonde hair, for example, I would be wasting time and breath by trying to describe blondeness without using the word blonde, and I'd most likely end up accidentally excluding some types of blonde hair while accidentally including some types of hair that would be better suited under the 'redhead' or 'brunette' categories. The same can be said for discussions of gender and sex, which is the only context where these terms are actually widely used.

If I wanted to talk about cis women, I would say cis women. Because that includes all women who were born female and still identify as women now. If I wanted to talk about all women, cis and trans together, I'd simply say women. Likewise, for discussions involving only trans women, I would say trans women. Notice how in none of these circumstances anyone is being incorrectly categorised. Discussions of cis women stay about cis women, discussions of trans women stay about trans women. Discussions about women stay about women.

Categories are helpful. Adjectives are helpful. No one is hurting you or excluding you by calling you cis, unless you're not cis.

And really if you have this much of a visceral reaction to being called cisgender, maybe it's time you do some self-reflection, because you might not be cisgender.

[galacticnova3]

ur suggesting on pfq sucks, I swear all u trannies do is whine and complain about shit that nobody cares about. go back to being a little bitch in ur closet

1. Imagine being such a coward that you won’t even comment under my suggestion on the actual site

2. Buddy pal I’m not even trans

3. The only whining complainer here is you methinks

4. Wishing you a very stub your toe daily for the rest of your life

[thund3randrain]

i will never give a fuck about trannies and you clowns can't make me

womp womp, don't care didn't ask

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

man i really need to like... write up a post about the undercurrents of queerphobia going on with how five is written, mostly aro/homophobia and transphobia. tbh i think i'm going to make separate posts for the two, for a few reasons; one of them is that the transphobia part delves a lot into the reading of the mogadorians' narrative as a metaphor for radfem BS, and that one's gonna take some deep dives into several other characters as well as straight up the series as a whole. it also runs through Major Central Themes for five himself, so there's that.

the aro/homophobia, though... i'm not really sure what to make of the fact that it's there, given that he otherwise doesn't seem like they're trying to portray him as a gay stereotype. and who knows how intentional it is; i get the feeling they didn't exactly sit down and rub their hands together about Time to Write a Malicious Depiction of a Gay/Aro Kid--especially since i doubt they knew what aro even was--but conscious or not i feel like both of those things were a factor in the resulting background radiation. but there are a lot of things, most of them small ones, that start to form a picture when you put them together, and some of them stick out more than others in ways that feel weirdly pointed.

anyway that's going to be interesting to go into, but for starters his backstory involves scaring off a guy harassing him on the street who was about to beat him up after calling him a homophobic slur, so lmao

[rominasaintofthebud]

it fills me with a genuine rage that one of the most vocal outspoken survivors of the pulse nightclub shooting is an open radfem like a Very proud terf because jesus fucking christ can you imagine living through such an awful targeted attack on your brothers and sisters and then going on your shitfuck tumngle dot com blog and being like "and trannies disgust me" like you need to kill yourself im so serious

[starcloud-nova]

i was watching a tiktok someone sent to me in my browser, and when it ended, it started autoplaying another video. tell me why the very next video was transphobic???? and had an audio that was loudly repeating the t slur???? i had low standards for tiktok but this is just a new low. what the fuck?

[angelgendered]

Yknow considering my mum was a self proclaimed socialist feminist who did work with the campaign for nuclear disarmament in the 80s and other related causes, you sure wouldn't guess it now. She loves keir starmer, casual transphobia and denial that trans people face anh issus ever, being vocally racist, especially against black and Asian folks, being pro Israel and devil's advocate when there's a GENOCIDE HAPPENING, she doesn't think disabled people including herself should have lives (my granddad who was in a powered wheelchair most of his life would hate her now I hate to say it but) she thinks black people are reverse racist when they call her out on her yt privilege instead of just yknow listening to what they have to say nd to top it all off she said the other day that the cass report is right, and earlier today said that she was probably going tk vote reform because 'we need to look after our own'

Like babe

You're a populist nationalist tiptoeing dangerously into fascist territory. No wonder none of your friends talk to you anymore

[demonio-fleurs]

transphobic one piece fans continue to confuse me

[faithfully-queer]

You’re not a woman you’re a man born with dick and balls you will never pass as real women no matter what they look like or what issues they have will always be women and we’re born women but go back to coping online to not kill yourself :33

Ooooooh my first hate ask! Shame it's from a coward hiding behind annoymnity

Since you're the first, you get the prize of a responce!

1. You falsely assume I ever wanted to kill myself, I'm actually rather quite fond of living and always have been

2. Odd of you to assume what my genitelia is, as there are surgies to change configs

3. My saying I'm a woman is a simplification, I am not always quite a woman, so eh

4. Im a fag, deal with it >:D

[transbianmuffin]

Guests pt. 4

cw: trauma, ptsd, transphobia, slurs, deadnaming ******** "[DEADNAME]!" "Y-yes Sir!" "I didn't see you at the morning drill." "I wasn't feeling very good, sir." "Oh, not feeling good? The little 'miss' wasn't feeling very good. Do I need to remember you what we are doing here?" "N-no sir." "Tell me [deadname], what are we doing here?" "...kill the weeds..." "I didn't hear you! SCREAM!" "I don't want to scream, sir." "IF I SAY SCREAM YOU SCREAM, YOU FAGGOT!" "..." "Very well, then I guess you can be without your meds for a day or so. A week, maybe." "No, please, not again. I need those." "Then you'll do WHAT I say, WHEN I say it and HOW I say it. ARE. WE. CLEAR?" "Yes." "YES WHAT?" "Yes, sir." "WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?" "WE KILL THE WEEDS SIR!" "Very good, princess. You are dismissed and if I hear you crying again on you way out I'm gonna fucking kill you."

********

"Little one?" "Mhhhh..." "You were twitching in your sleep, I've also read some weird values in your implant. How are you feeling, my beloved?" "I- I think I had a bad dream...or maybe memories. The bad thoughts. The guests?"

"The guests left, my beautiful floret. You fell asleep on my lap." "Did I do good?" "You were so cute, you did perfectly. You are my sweet pet and I am so proud of you." "I feel sad..." "Hush, hush, no sadness. I am here for you. I'll protect you. Now this will help you sleep. Tomorrow we will take care of the bad thoughts." "It felt so real, they were treating me like, like aaaaaa~~" "They aren't here, sweetie. No one can hurt you here. Think of me, my floret. Close your eyes and just think of me." "I~ luuf yuu~" "I love you too, my beautiful floret."

[dropoutfailure]

ok, enough wholesome dadson. time to sexualize terrible fathers. (cw for: dadson incest + FtM son POV + transphobia / misgendering / fetishizing / forcemasc)

transphobic dad: doesn't approve of you transitioning or taking T, but isn't stopping you and doesn't seem turned off by the changes, even after you pass consistently as a man. doesn't know how T even works, always lowkey curious about the changes. he does like that you're so much hornier on T and don't even have periods anymore. tugs at your facial hair (ow? wtf :/) and goes "huh? it's real? I thought you drew it on every morning!" with a hearty laugh. dad joke? he might have actually thought so. backhanded praise, mean jokes at your expense, and moments where he genders you correctly, by accident.

thought you would eventually change your mind and give up transitioning "when you realise that being a man is hard," as if he's not the one making it hard. he might actually think of you as a son at some point, but he was never taught to apologize, he's "always right," he's stubborn, so he will keep calling you a daughter because a father can't show weakness. wants to call you homophobic slurs sooo bad, but that would be admitting defeat.

gets angry when you bring up surgery bc he likes to squeeze your tits and fuck your pussy. won't do any anal because it's gay. and clearly, he's isn't, he says. definitely closeted.

trans boy chaser dad: for better or for worse, only took an interest in your life when he found out you're a trans guy, fixed his relationship with you by treating you more like a date than as his son.

excited, touchy-feely, even creepy. eager to please. just pathetically horny for the way your body's changing from T - he won't misgender you. you get aggressively reaffirmed to the point of it getting annoyingly patronizing actually. regardless, he fucks you hard, encouraging you to moan with your cracking voice, and is too horny to feel bad about the incest. it's a welcome change from the previous emotional distance, but you feel used, like he's taking advantage of your newly high libido.

fixated on your body and everything "clockable," would rather you didn't get any surgery... says you're already perfect as is, from just testosterone... it does feel nice that he takes some sort of pride in having a son now, fully embracing you, the way he finds even all the awkward changes (sparse facial hair, voice cracks etc) not just endearing, not just attractive, but really fucking hot. and it's a relief for your body which craves that release. but. dad might just completely lose interest a few years into T, if you pass consistently.

bisexual, he says. but of course not into cis men.

transmed dad: thinks he knows what's best for your body, forcemascs you in his own ideals, pushing you to work hard to speed up your transition, to become a "real" man. you were so happy that dad accepted you being a trans guy so wholeheartedly and proudly, but the acceptance seems to have turned into overbearing surveillance...

dad insists on doing your T injections himself, because he doesn't trust that you'll actually do them. "no son of mine will be a fucking embarrassing softboy pansy who never transitions for real, have some dignity, god damn it! either you transition fully or you don't transition at all!" ...he pushes you to consider top and bottom surgery asap, to become a "real man," regardless of what you might want. he very excitedly looks forward to the day you can top him with your real cock, like a son should. :)

he makes you like anal because that's how real men do it. you're absolutely not allowed to derive any pleasure from anywhere but your ass and T-dick, and the phantom sensation of a strapon. he's good at working your T-dick though, it's all almost worth it just for that...

love, validation, and praise only when you've "earned it." if you fail to live up to his strict expectations, the things he says fucking hurt. misgenders you as punishment and threatens to withhold your testosterone "since you want to stay a girl so bad."

......

so, all of these options leave you feeling unsatisfied and degraded in one way or another!! yippee! no, there's no option for a Normal About Trans Men And Masculinity Dad, this is the Terrible Fathers dadson poll. you must choose.

[k0sk1]

Guys I'm so sorry to ruin the fun but uhmm did you know sbn3 aka the creator of co09 said the n word multiple times (he's white and 30) and is kind of an incel and also apparently called ppl cosplaying HIS OWN CHARACTERS sluts and allowed cp on a chat he was in? There's a whole thread on it actually and I think it's important to mention it bc uhmm... It's really weird. The n word and incel rethoric ones are def true bc there's literal recordings of him saying those but the calling cosplayers sluts and allowing cp on a chat I haven't seen any confirmation for it so take it with a grain of salt if u want but I def dont doubt it

also, pls reblog so more ppl get to see it! i dont know how many of u also have a twitter acc and i didnt see anyone on tumblr talk abt it besides me soo pls let ppl know!

Update (cw for f slur and n word, incel rethoric, transphobia too): someone told me they couldn't see the thread and it'd be nice if i uploaded some pics so that's what I'll do! There are also videos, I'm gonna listen to and write exactly what sbn3 says on those videos here, but for now I'll have to just say a little overview of what he said in those. There are four videos, two are recordings of him singing (one being him saying the n word while singing a rap song and the other being him saying the f slur repeatedly with a Jeffery voice in a song called "homophobia the song" and the lyrics are basically just him saying "I hate f slurs I wanna kill f slurs" it's really bad. The other two are vc recordings. In one he talks about how 18-19 yr old girls aren't mature and are really stupid, but the goes on to say he would date an 18-19 yr old if she was "mature enough" which is weird bc he's almost thirty! But at least not explicitly pedophilic. The other vc recording is of him talking about how women can be friends with people they're attracted to but men can't, basically leaving implicit that it's because men can't "control themselves" around people they're attracted and will always see them in an erotic light. Basically the idea that men are sex beasts which is why they harass people, and that's bad!

Now, onto the pictures! Two of these are claims of things he did, but there are no videos, though I wouldn't doubt for him to do the things claimed + the person talks about how they were seeing those things first hand

TW misogyny, racism, transphobia and mentions of CP and ableism.

Also, just a personal thought, but isn't it weird that every co09 character is white? Just a thought, really, it doesn't mean he's racist but he did say the n word multiple times and then there's a really big lack of diversity in the game he made, despite it constantly talking abt race and racial issues. Idk just found that weird and wanted to leave it here.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

That Smile

Negan x TransMale!Reader (GN pronouns)

Synopsis: Negan offers some very Negan-esque support when he discovers that the Reader has had to deal with some transphobic issues at the Sanctuary.

CW: transphobia, no slurs used, Negan being very Negan, Negan being suggestive (as per usual), no pronouns used for the Reader though it is specified that they are trans male.

Requests are: OPEN

“Oh, fuck,” Negan says, looking almost like he’s about to panic. Which is decidedly not a common occurrence for him. “Shit, handsome- I didn’t mean it. I was just breaking your balls a little bit.” 

You might have made a mistake here. Of all the people you could have screamed at- the leader of the Sanctuary was probably not the smartest choice. Oh, but you just couldn’t help it. 

Not everyone stared, and not everyone was rude. There was pockets of kindness here and there- people who understood who you were and respected you for who you were. 

As always, though, there were people who did not understand. People who looked at you weird or avoided you in the market. Negan had set out rules for basic respect, but that didn’t stop the occasional hate-speech or threat. It was the end of the world, after all, not Utopia. 

“You have no idea what this is like, Negan,” you say with a sneer. He sets his jaw but doesn’t reply, letting you vent. “Every day someone makes a comment just loud enough that I can hear, or someone shoves into my shoulder. Or, hell, just the other day- someone called me something that was… absolutely vile.” 

You point an accusatory finger at the man, whose gaze is getting darker with anger by the second. 

“And you!” You start to raise your voice, and Negan’s lips twitch as if he’s trying not to grin. “You let it happen. And I am so sick of everyone’s fucking shit!” 

Negan rubs a gloved hand over his chin, chuckling darkly as he does so. 

“You done, gorgeous?” He asks, or tells, really. There’s no room for argument with the way he unclenches his jaw. “Because I have something to say, and you? You are gonna listen.” 

Negan places Lucille carefully leaned against the table before rounding it to stand before you. You swallow thickly, not sure where this is going, but not sure you like it either. 

“I need you,” he says slowly while raising a finger to brush your temple softly. “To cast your big ‘ol brain back a few days and really think about what I’m about to ask you.” 

You stumble over a few attempts at speech before he shushes you softly. 

“The fuckhead that broke the rules? Called you something he really shouldn’t have…” His eyes flit between yours, lips spreading out into a grin that would send molten heat through a celibacy-practicing nun. “...when did you see him last?”

You let out a little ‘uh’ sound, trying to order your brain to stop tumbling around and work out the answer. It had been three days since the slur, and�� now that you were really thinking about it. You hadn’t seen him since. Usually he was always lurking around to get another shot in.

The realisation must have shown on your face, because Negan let out a throaty chuckle. 

“See? Now you’re gettin’ it,” he says, leaning back against the table and crossing his arms. “Now, I know you wouldn’t want me killing anyone, so, don’t worry. He’s not dead.” You bit back the sarcastic comment that threatened to spill out.

Negan runs his tongue over his bottom lip as if savouring something very sweet. Your eyes track the movement, and you know he knows it.

“But that doesn’t mean he’s having a good time, either.” 

“What did you, uh, do to him?” You ask, voice breathy with desire. No one had defended you quite like this before. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d think Negan was flirting with you just to make a point. 

But it had been like this for months. Negan putting on all the charm when you were around, and doing his damndest to get you to open up to him. He didn’t care that you were trans, he liked you for you. 

You liked him too, of course. How could you not? Big strapping man with big dick energy, a leather jacket and a phallic bat? What wasn’t to love? 

“Oh, you know,” he chuckled. “Threw him the hole for a few days. Shit, I think he’s still in there.” 

You stifled a smile, knowing that the asshole was now suffering for his crimes. Well, shit- turns out Negan did give a shit about your rights. It was almost like he was an active protestor for Trans Rights. The thought made you laugh.

“I’ll have to make a trip down there to see if he’s learned his lesson yet.” 

This time you can’t bite back the smile, and he draws out an appreciative noise. 

“Oh, there he is,” he brushes your chin with his thumb. “There’s that handsome smile. Fuck, you really turn me on, you know that?” 

Your grin splits wider and blood rises to your cheeks. 

“I’m serious!” He defends himself. “My dick is so hard right now- I could cut diamonds.”

You role your eyes at his theatrics, but he knows that you enjoy his crude comments. He knows you want him. His gaze softens for a moment, and the sincerity you see there almost makes you melt. 

“No more hiding things from me,” he says. “Something happens- someone breaks the rules? You come find me.” Negan lets out a huff of a sigh, caressing your jaw now. 

“Can’t have my handsome man upset, can we? I just live for that smile.”  

You don’t even notice the grin spreading across your lips this time. 

“Yeah, that’s the one…”

[i-live-in-spite]

Summary: You get a case in your hometown, you haven’t been back for almost 10 years after you left when you were 18 to join the FBI academy. Your brother was not very happy to see your transition.

Pairing: Around season 5 Spencer Reid x Trans Male reader(He/They)

Genre: Angst w/ Comfort

Tw/Cw: Family argument/dysfunctional families, transphobia/homophobia, kinda “gory” with some details, talk of s3lf h@rm, platonic pairing but they are pinning for the other, normal violence of Criminal Minds, the Unsub targets queer people, religious talk/trauma, talk of ending one's life, use of the t slur(If I missed something please tell me)

Word Count: 2.7k

I knew that if I had just asked Hotch or Rossi to stay back or for time away from the case, they would have told me yes. After all, I’m  pretty much just a stand-in for Garcia on the ground. Just there in case she got overworked or she was busy on one search I could quickly pick up the task. But the BAU taking me on the field was still pretty rare, I know why I’m here even if all I can think about is leaving again.

I didn’t know even after 10 years of healing, the wounds could still be so fresh. The feeling of blood rushed down my arms as we passed by the stores from my childhood. Some buildings I couldn't recognize but hardly anything changed from the old small town I grew up in. 

I’m snapped from my thoughts when I feel Spencer’s hands on my shoulder, “I’m sorry could you repeat the question sir?” I snapped my eyes up to Rossi who was in the passenger seat as Derek drove.

“I was just asking if you knew of any hidden in the wall clubs who may..enjoy the same sex may go?” Rossi sounded as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing, which I could understand. I have always been open about my gender identity and how I have had male lovers, I really didn’t see why it had to be hidden. At least not to them, no the team was like family. Emily and Penelope aren’t as loud about it but they also didn’t hide it.

“Uh yea, if I remember correctly there is this, old salt cave that many would go to for..activities. Whether it’s still operational is another question, I would have to be able to get down there.” Rossi nods and I look away from Spencer’s gaze and the subtle look from Derek in the mirror.

When we got to the police station I hesitated opening the car door, a few quick memories flashing through my eyes. I take a deep breath before pushing the door open and going to the back to grab my computer bag, I feel Spencer’s hand on my shoulder, the other one gently rubbing the nape of my neck. I would typically find comfort in his light touches but my anxiety was running high, all I could do was curl up from his hands.

“I know something is wrong, is it because of the murders? Or the fact that this is a ‘special’ place to you?” I couldn’t stop a choked laugh from escaping and Spencer was quick to recover, “Maybe special didn’t quite express the right emotions. You are tied to this place, and you don’t like it. Why didn’t you ask to stay back?” His voice was soft, full of concern. 

“You don’t ask to stay back when we have cases in your hometown.” I look up, my voice having more of an edge than I would like. He sighs and grabs his bag before turning back to me, a serious expression taking over his normal goofy smile.

“Yes but I had an ok childhood. It’s one thing to be an outcast because I’m smart, you were an outcast because-” Hotch calls us over cutting Spencer off, “I’m just saying, we have different memories of childhood, you had more hate than you let on.” I never heard Spencer being tied to emotions in this way. He knew my past and I knew his, we held each other's scars close, refusing to let the past repeat. 

Spencer walks over to Hotch but I highly doubt that this conversation was over. I follow closely behind, keeping my head down. The station had the same bleach smell, my nose burned from the smell. Then the world seemed to crash when I heard his voice.

“Welcome in agents, we have a small meeting room y’all can use in the back.” The sound of my brother's voice made all my muscles freeze. Hotch shakes his hand, thanking him for the space and they start to talk a little more about the case. I go to the back and set up in a corner away from the door, this is gonna be the longest case in my life. 

As I continue my setup, I hear his whistle. “That’s some mighty fine computers you got there, but I was told y’all had a tech analyst back at Quantico.” I refused to look up from my keyboard as I continued to fidget with my settings to appear busy. 

It was Derek who finally spoke up, “Well we do, but the lovely little lady doesn’t always enjoy coming on the field and sometimes her work load is a little too much. So we bring him in and he helps on the ground.” My brother lets out a choked noise and even though he tried to whisper it was clear as day.

“That’s a boy? I mean i’ve seen my fair share of boys with long hair but that’s..damn near to the floor.” Derek sighs and expresses again I was in fact a boy, keeping out the fact I was trans. Which fills me with gratitude. “Damn well.. Okay. Nice to be working with you las.” 

His hand appeared in my face and I was slow to grab it. I felt his gaze on my freshly painted nails, it was just a simple black and white look. But I could feel the judgement of his gaze.

“Did you know that a handshake spreads more germs, it would be safer to kiss.” Spencer’s distraction makes me laugh, of course he had no idea that we were actually siblings or the fact my brother would rather live in hell than kiss another boy.

“And who are you?” I was thankful for the attention to be off of me, though I’m very much aware of the attitude that hides behind my brother's voice.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” Spencer waved a little uncomfortable. My brother looks him up and down before nodding.

“Well. Thank you for coming to look at the problem.” Spencer and Derek nod as my brother leaves and I finally let out the air in my lungs. Derek turns to me and sees the look of discomfort not fully leave my face.

“I typically try to keep the past the past, but the history between you and the sheriff?” I shift a little before looking down at the computer.

“Can't you see the family resemblance?” The boys are physically taken aback by this information. I smile awkwardly and get back to the set up of my computer. Neither of my fellow males spoke up after the statement, for once I’ve made the great Spencer Reid silent.

—-

“I need you to go to the cave, you are trusted there correct?” Hotch looks down at me as I gently play with my hands, a nervous habit I picked up from Spencer.

“I’m sure the older ones may remember me, I won't know for sure till I get down there though.” Hotch nods and scratches under his chin some.

“Would you be comfortable going alone or would you like someone to go with you?” I think for a minute, I would refuse to ask anyone from the local p.d. to join, but Emily or Spencer could be candidates. But Spencer is still getting over getting shot that him joining me is a hard no from me, even though he claims he was good to go. 

“Emily would be a good fit to join me.” Hotch nods and leaves to tell Emily about joining me. I didn’t hear the door open till my brother spoke.

“You look different now, since when did you turn into a boy?” My brother's voice was a little callous, the same tone he used when I told my family I planned on leaving.

“I have always been a boy, you and the others just refused to see it.” He scoffs and looks around to no one particularly, I still refused to turn to him.

“Oh I’m sorry miss ‘used to love dresses’, it’s kinda hard to think you were a ‘boy’ when you always dressed all pretty like.” 

“Because how I dress doesn’t define who I am,” I couldn’t stop my southern twang from coming through, something I fought to hide for a while. “, I’m very much aware that when I dress feminine people may see me as a girl. But also growin up here, if I dress like how I wanted to I would be shot on site. I’m not an idiot.”

My brother crosses his arms and I feel him staring me down. “So what, you put on a pair of pants and suddenly you were a boy? Is that really how easy it is? To erase the life mom gave you? To destroy the bridge you and dad had?”

“I would have died Evan!” I turn to him, rage clear on my face, “I would have killed myself. My only hope was my friends. Friends you belittled. Do you have any idea what that does to someone?” My brother laughs and his face hardens.

“And you do? Do they become the killers you chase down?”

“No Evan. They kill themselves, they do drugs, they hide every part of them because they can’t live any other way. I didn’t kill the little girl I was, I saved the little boy you tried to snuff out like a fire. I protected myself because the same people who were supposed to do it were the ones cutting me deeper than any of my blades do.” I took a step to him, the fire was clear behind his eyes. “Aren’t you proud? I changed my name. You can tell everyone I died in action. You have no connection to the man I am today. I may have to use extra means to make myself who I am but I am more of a man than you'll ever be.” 

Before he could say anything Emily walks in and tells me she’s ready. I grab my coat and walk out without another word being said.

—-

The next couple of days went on with my brother ignoring me, if he had anything to say he went to Hotch or Derek. Not that I really cared, but I knew the team could tell the tension between my brother and I was getting very heavy.

Spencer walks up to me with an iced coffee, he looked a little unsure of himself. “I remember one time you told me you preferred iced coffee, I went down to the local cafe and got you one.” I thank him softly and take a sip. “Are you okay with working on the case? I mean with your brother and openly gay people being targeted..”

“I’m okay Dr. Reid, I’m a tough cookie you know this.” He nods, tapping his hand on his arm.

“I’m aware of that but after the case I got shot, you were worried about me, I could hardly go pee without you commenting about how I needed my crutches.” His smile was genuine, I knew he truly loved that I cared enough to keep him up with doctor orders.

“It’s not my fault a certain FBI genius liked to test his limits, someone had to care for him.” I smile and he shuffles steps a little closer.

“And this genius wants to make sure you're not chewing off more than you can handle. You’re just as important to this team as Garcia or Morgan or me.” There was a hidden message behind his words, that I was important to him.

“The best thing I can do is work and stay away from my brother where I can. I’ll be okay pretty boy, I’ll be good. You won't even have to handcuff me.” Spencer’s face bloomed into a nice rose pink colour, he was always so easy to fluster. It was another thing that made him one of the cutest people I have ever met. Can stare at dismembered bodies, but can’t handle a compliment fully.

“I’m here for you, we all are. Don’t go somewhere you don’t think iIcan join. I’ll find you, and I'll bring you back.” His hands slowly grab my face, his eyes searching mine. But before we could do anything the door swung open.

“Garcia thinks we found our unsub.” Spencer nods and grabs his vest before turning back to me as Derek leaves.

“I mean it, I’ll follow you into any river, any ocean, any fires you think you have to handle alone.” And like that he was gone. I stayed by the phone waiting for any information that this person actually was our unsub. 

It wasn’t long before Emily was pushing the guy through the station spouting bullshit, saying the kids deserved it. I look at him, he looks back at me. 

“You some little tranny aren’t you. You cried over their deaths? They were gonna do it anyway, why not speed up the progress?” I just stare at him. I knew him, but I knew everyone here.

“Sir, all you’re doing is incriminating yourself. The gender of my agents are none of your concern. He doesn’t have to kill to make himself feel good.” Hotch pushes him forward, him having my back makes me tear up. “He’s not weak. He doesn’t push others around to make himself known. He is a man.” Hotch was pushing the UNSUB every time he would call me a he. 

Spencer shows up beside me, “We found a hair in his truck bed. It’s being analysed right now.” I nodded, his hand finding its way to the nape of my neck. “Hotch is correct, you aren’t..what he said. You’re strong and you’re the male you always knew you would be. You’re so strong being able to fight your way out of a town like this, with a family who did everything it could to keep you down.” All I could do was nod, I didn’t trust my voice.

By the night Hotch had everything he needed to prove this man did it, I started to pack up my stuff. “I will never understand you. Why did you tear it all down?”

I turn to Evan, annoyance clear on my face. “I tore down broken walls, I tore away the paint that hid the beautiful tile underneath. I am who I was always meant to be.” My brother started to talk but I cut him off, “I will never be your sister again, either accept it or stay out of my life.”

“You weren’t meant to be a boy though. You were born a girl, why can’t you understand?”

I take a step closer to him, “Your mind is one of the smartest things in the world, it’s not always connected to your body. Nerves can be damaged, emotions can be out of place. We live in a world where your next door neighbour murdered innocent kids because their brain didn’t match the way their body was. I bet deep down you wished we never caught him.”

“It’s not my fault.”

“It started being your fault after I left how you continued to fill your brain with the idea that who I am was a choice, that the fact I like guys as a guy was something I just woke up and picked. When in reality it was you who drove me away.”

“You’re unnatural.” His fist was balled up and I knew we would never see eye to eye, not in this lifetime.

“Goodbye. Enjoy the wife, but I hope your kids never have to live in the fear I did.” I grab my bags and walk out the station. I fit my bags snuggle in their place as Emily turns to me.

“You know, the family isn’t just blood. The saying ‘blood runs thicker than water’ isn’t always true.” She offers me a small I’m sorry type of smile.

“Actually one of the earliest sayings of the quote was ‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’, meaning your brother doesn’t have to be the brother you accept. We will always love you.” Spencer has a goofy smile, his knowledge of everything makes me feel better.

“And I will always love you.” Spencer can’t hold my eyes sensing the deeper meaning behind my words. Derek ruffled my hair and we started the long hours home.

[forwhump]

Bite Me

a/n: another random little whump drabble that nobody asked for featuring my special little guys <3 some proper whump for this one for no reason

tw/cw: implied rape, torture (physical, mental), guns, gore, misgendering, transphobia

human weapon whumpee, creepy whumper (kind of)(he’s creepy in this one I think), aftermath attempted escape

How did it come to this?

How is this happening?

Silas used to be human.

He doesn’t remember it, but he knows that he was. He knows he lived a life outside of this place.

So had Wren. And Wren remembers it, and Wren misses it with a yearning that Silas can’t fathom. His brother had been dragged into hell with him, but he talks about missing his mother. His friends. His car.

All Silas had wanted to do was get him back to that. All Silas wanted to do was get Wren home.

He was just trying to help. He just wanted to help.

Kneeling on the concrete, he coughs up blood and his back molars and Wren screams like nobody else Silas has ever heard.

He’s screaming words, Silas realizes too late, but he can’t make any of them out because his ears are ringing.

They’re holding him there. So many soldiers, so many hands on Wren, holding him there by his hips, his waist, his braid. He’s screaming, his face shimmering with tears, but he disappears into the darkness that blurs Silas’ vision as Silas loses consciousness again.

He comes to as his head is wrenched up from his chest by a fistful of his hair.

Point stands over him. Point. The soldiers all use nicknames, codenames, because their real names are a secret, because their real names are not for the assets to know. Silas doesn’t care enough that he’s ever been curious, but he would roll his eyes if he could; he’s going to be executed by a guy called Point.

“You’re becoming more trouble than you’re worth, asset,” Point tells him.

Silas used to be human, but he isn't anymore; he doesn’t know if he counts himself lucky in that regard. He feels pain just the same as anybody else, but it takes a lot more to kill him.

Anybody else would be long dead.

Point had shot him twice in the face.

It hasn’t killed him, but there’s a bullet lodged in his left eye and another in the back of his jaw. He can’t stop drooling, blood and saliva soaking the front of his shirt, sticking his hair to the sides of his throat. His tongue is swollen. He slurs, “bite me.”

Point’s hand leaves his hair and Silas’ chin drops back down to his chest. He doesn’t have the strength to lift his own head anymore, so he can’t see Wren, but he can hear him, clearer now, the ringing in his ears had quieted to the shrill sound of his screaming and how frantically he sobs, “please. Please!”

Silas just wanted to help.

Did he make it worse?

He was prepared to die — a hazard of breaking Wren out. He was ready to do whatever he needed to do, his own life be damned.

But Wren wasn’t supposed to see it. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be out.

How much worse did life just get for Wren? What has Silas done?

“I’m sorry,” he tries to say, but he can’t say much of anything and it comes out as a low, wet groan. He drools down his chest. He can’t lift his head.

“Silas,” Wren sobs.

He couldn’t do it. He just wanted to help, and he couldn’t fuckin’ do it.

“Wren,” he tries to say, but he doesn’t say anything.

Point clicks his tongue, and when Silas’ head is lifted from his chest again, it’s with a different hand. Point is crouched in front of him, dressed in the uniform of the soldiers, their guard, full black tactical gear. He pulls his mask down his face so Silas can see his grin. “It was a very honourable thing you did,” he says, mocking. “Trying to save the girl.”

Silas does his very best to slur, “don’t touch him.”

Point smiles brightly. “I will,” he promises. “With your blood on my hands.”

Silas sucks in the biggest breath that he can, and it rattles in his chest. He spits blood and another one of his teeth in Point’s face.

Wren screams again, bloodcurdling, awful. “Please,” he sobs, “please,” and it’s only now that Silas realizes that he’s pleading with Point, straining against the other soldiers to get away, to get closer, and he breathes, “Darren, please. Please. Don’t kill him.”

Point doesn’t look at Wren, but he tilts his head thoughtfully. “No? What are you going to let me do to you if I don’t?”

No, Silas tries to say. No!

Wren’s voice is small. The silence rings with the absence of screaming. “Anything.”

“Anything?” Point repeats. The way his grin spreads across his face is cartoonish and evil. “Did you hear that, big guy?” He asks, leaning in closer to Silas, smug. “She said anything.”

“No,” Silas grits out.

Point grins a little wider. “She must care a lot for you, you know,” he says. “She knows some of the things I want to do to her are just vile.”

No.

“And since you get to live,” he tells Silas, “you get to watch.”

“What?” Wren breathes.

No.

Point pats Silas’ cracked jaw and Silas gurgles in pain. “Consider this your lucky day, big guy,” he says. “We usually put down dogs once they start to bite.”

No.

“No,” Wren breathes, but Wren is so small, and these men, these fuckin’ soldiers, they’re all so much bigger than him, they drag him across the concrete as he struggles, they force him to the ground before Point. “No!”

“You’d rather I put down your dog?” Point asks, pinning Wren to the ground with a knee between his shoulder blades. “The choice is yours.”

“Please,” Wren sobs. “Please. Don’t do this.”

Point clucks his tongue. “How else will you learn to behave?”