#transmasc levy is so real to me

[cheesydelphox]

"haha levy is flat haha 🤣" bro he's just binding chill

[butch-bakugo]

Its not a shock to me that most "transandrophobia doesn't exist" people are trans women, mostly white trans women. They have a very specific image of what a trans man looks like and it's only two categories: the hyper fem, tits out, make up, twink trans man who doesn't pass nor try to and the hyper masculine, bearded, t'd up, all the surgeries, big buff trans man who you could never clock. They genuinely think every "transandrophobia truther" is lieing about not getting privileges they don't fucking have.

They genuinely believe every trans man passes and therefore we get male privilege and they get backed up by trans men who do pass and think a cis man making rape jokes with them and asking about their lift set is male privilege. Lemme shatter the illusion because as much as you like to scream about some wide spread privilege that doesn't exist, most trans people, in general, do not pass. This is especially true for trans men due to the hyperfocus society puts on feminine features. I have never met a fully passing trans man and I've met over a hundred personally irl. never. I know they exist but the fact y'all think we, en masse, get male privilege is factually just fucking wrong.

Trans men are not more acceptable or palatable to transphobes. Trans men are not more likely to pass. Trans men in mass do not get male privilege by virtue of our lack of passing and our medical history. Most trans men are still affected by the gender pay gap and thus can not afford surgeries.

You do not acknowledge the existence of non-passing trans men, only uphold the voices of trans men who pass and have the money for surgeries (a small percentage) then wonder why trans men laugh in your face when you make claims about male privilege we do not experience.

We are more likely to be conversionally raped than you. We are more like to be forcibly detransioned than you. We are more likely to experience domestic violence than you. We are more likely to experience hate crimes than you.

Trans men's hyper visibility in online spaces dose not transfer to real life visibility. You are more likely to see white cis gay men and white trans women in any media or ever mentioned than even white cis lesbians or white trans men. Your rhetoric is the origin of the "theyfab" myth. Our issues are invisible to you cause you do not care about other trans people besides yourself and other transfems. Everyone and their trans mother knows about transmysogny and the issues you personally face yet you expect trans men to be silent about their issues and feel like they should be silent because they are men. Trans men are more likely to experience litterally all forms of violence over trans women in every single avenue of violence that exists; religious, sexual, domestic, familial, etc. We are more likely to be stopped and abused before we socially transtion than anyone else due to hyper vigilance of society over afabs. You can scream all you'd like about how we only bring up our sex/the gender we are often raised as when it's convenient but you always ignore those often traumatizing experiences when it's convenient for you.

Many Transmascs and trans men had a traumatizing upbringing because society views us as "bad women" and " bad women" get treated so much worse and by many more angles than "bad men" specifically because we were forcibly assigned as women. You take advantage of a lack of nuance in the community by trying to group us with cis men specifically because you group yourself with cis women. News flash, neither of us and our experiences should be grouped with ANY cis group because we do not have cisgendered experiences.

I seriously think you think you are the most oppressed group in the trans community and you are not, not by a long shot. You are not the most oppressed group in the transgender community and that's a statistical fact. The most oppressed group, by far, are two spirits and cultural genders by virtue of them being inherently indigenous and indigenous people being the most oppressed race of people in the community regardless of the location they are indigenous to.

You are literally taking advantage of the things that were drilled into transmascs at a young age to be seen and not heard and to be quiet and let others talk, that they are lesser than everyone. Everyday there's a new story in the community of a cis man or a trans woman getting a trans man/masc pregnant to hurt them or force them off t or to detransion, this is not a fucking accident. You are not men, no one ever said you were, but you sure love to silence them like they do.

I'm not quiet, you do not intimately know our issues the same way we do not intimately know yours, You don't get to tell us what we do and don't experience and the fact you'd rather cry wolf and suspiciously call us "bitches" than hear us out, tells me everything i need to know. That alt right to trans woman pipeline you said you escaped? Yeah, you didn't. Ur just an alt right trans woman, Try Again.

[l3viat8an]

Levi and Sadie as the sister duo though <3 LIKE they're both transfem, ofc they're gonna bond over that! While they're not the only trans siblings (Mammon is a trans man 100% and transneu nonbinary Asmo <3), they both lean towards femininity and it's cute to think about them having sister bonding time like- Take them to a cafe and you'll see them talk about the cute items on the menu!!! - The Levi anon

They totally have one night a week where just the two of them hang out and call it girls night!!! djksjs

Take them to cafes and do typically ‘girly’ things after!!!

Like just imagining going ‘n doing some window shopping and let Levi sequel while she look at some cute skirts!! ‘n Satan probably gets more distracted with stuff like accessories!! Again hair clips!! even better if she can find stuff with cat charms or pendants!!

[smahell]

leviathan heacanons which, if they did become canon, would deliver us the most amazing obey me nightbringer lesson 61 ever.

ground rules, literally the basis of everything i stand for:

yes he is queer, yes he is plus size, yes he is trans (in what way is up to you, transfem, transmasc, non-binary, agender. phuck he probably uses those cool xenogenders and collects pronouns like pokemon cards /pos)

• i think he'd have autism and BPD. makes sense w/ how sporadic his emotions can be and how they can be either on the extremes or nothing at all (projecting)

• he has facial hair, but it's more gentle stubble on his upper lip and dotted around his jawline because he just forgets to shave, and he just doesn't like the texture and feel of his skin afterwards anyways.

• he likes the IDEA of beaches and beach episodes. he just doesn't like sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

• i like to think of his skin as a very slight jaundice yellow??? or just a sort of sandy shade (#d4d18c) for camouflage purposes!!! like camouflaging on stream beds and stuff since he's like a sea monster...

• vitamin d, magnesium AND iron deficiency. triple homicide.

• has multiple phones: "one's for specifically grinding, the other ones for texting everyone, this phone's for texting mc..."

• i think leviathan is the type to simultaneously believe in soulmates, but also regard to any couple he sees with vehement disgust. if he's not in a relationship hell hate every couple he sees.. maybe he's jealous, or maybe he's being based.

• he SWEARS he's tall, it's just that his posture makes him slouch so bad that he's more mammon's height most of the time

• irrationally scared of back massages.

• probably a babiniku, which is how he gets like half of his income.

• vegetarian!! and doesn't like the taste of humans either. every time he thinks of eating one he think about "well what if i was eating *insert anime character?? they're a human right??"

• still thinks humans are kinda useless in real life but still mentally sensationalizes them as these "cool" beings that always go on adventures.

• his most finely trained sense: touch and smell. it's why he can't go into most malls and some shops; sometimes the smells of perfumes are so overwhelming that he'd rather wait outside.

• his sleep schedule is either a good 11pm to 8am or a horrible 6am to 9pm. it'll waiver around depending on whats going on, whether he has cookie duty, if theres a concert of his favorite underground band coming up, whether

• piercings!! at first he just wanted more ear piercings but then it moved to nose piercings and face ones. his latest one is a dolphin bite piercing which he kinda got impulsively but he doesn't regret it at all (he likes the taste of metal in his mouth!)

• voice claim: kaido shun's voice from "the disastrous life of saiki k" (voiced by Micah Solusod)

• in a fic i read it mentioned levi liking seaweed brownies (made my mammon)??? yeah its a personal headcanon now, it floats in my head like a boat at sea..

• loves LOVES heated blankets, since he''s naturally coldblooded he'll snuggle up to anything he can get

anyways that's it :D @memeowmoth wanted me to share some of mine, and I can definitely come up with more!!!!

[s1mp3r]

More about me <3

This is an introduction to the creator of this account :)

I'm pretty new to Tumblr when it comes to posts, so bear with me please.

So, you can call me Kaishen (or whatever as long as it's friendly, i don't mind nicknames lol).

I use he/them pronounce.

In my free time I write a lot, like poems or stories. I also read a lot, digitally and traditionally.

I am a German that taught himself English, so it's not Perfect. I am currently learning a few Languages, like Japanese and Spanish.

I have a few (many) Hobbies, which include playing instruments(Saxophone, Piano, Ocarina, Kalimba and Guitar),

skating (rollerskates and skateboarding) and cycling,

Gaming,

Painting (digitally and traditionally)

And actually learning? like i'm a curious mf about greek mythology and demons and stuff.

I support LGBTQ+, as I am in the community myself as an pansexual poly transmasc person lmao. If you don't support or don't/can't accept, you can get off my page. No one's forcing you.

And I have a very huge sense of dark humor :)

(my personal opinion about myself literally is that in real life i'm kinda like levi but on the internet i'm like asmo- my friends approve.)

I don't know what else to say about me, but you can always ask things about me or this blog ♡

Now more to what i'm writing here!

I'll write things for both Obey me games!

I write Fanfics, headcanons, imagines or anything like that, preferably in NB!Mc or M!Mc, but F!Mc also is okay!

And i will probably write my opinions about stuff happening in the apps(like chats or anything) so be prepared for possible spoilers!

I write NSFW (excluding Luke, obviously) and SFW.

I am open for Fluff and Angst as well.

And for the Nsfw.. Don't shy away, everything's on the table. :)

I will write for the Brothers and (un)dateables! <3

I think that was it! I hope you'll have a good day, and if you have requests you can go ahead and tell me! I'm always open for requests and questions! <3

[usernu11]

I don't use tumblr very often but thought that I'd crosspost all my fics here and maybe chat a little bit about my interests. Please keep in mind that twitter is my main platform though so I might disappear here and there while being active mainly on twitter;

Request Status: open

about me*

// hello! you may call me either user or null or both // i'm 20+, i might mention my exact age but for now the range is fine // i use he/him and they/them pronouns. please don't use feminine terms with me (sis, queen, ect) // i exclusively write for gn!reader, male!reader and transmasc!reader. i also only write mlm pairs overall. i might do wlw if i feel particularly inspired // i also write or talk about a lot of suggestive themes, so i prefer 18+ followers //that being said all nsfw will be under cut and i do write casual stuff sometimes so it's not a hard ask

main interests*

// obey me! one master to rule them all: lucifer, beel (sometimes paired with belphie), levi, mammon (i might write for the others, just not as often) // chainsaw man: yoshida/denji, aki/angel // fire emblem three houses: dimitri (i love him lots) // nijisanji: luca kaneshiro (i might not write full on fics however i am very much down to chat about him) // mystic messenger: ge!saeran, unknown (big love), ray (particularly v route ray), jumin, 707 // slow damage: towa (i love him so much please play the game), towa/fujieda //genshin impact: childe (i hc him as a menace and i will gladly ramble about it), zhongli, maybe others mainly the male cast

smaller interests*

// visual novels: dramatical murder, cupid parasite (still playing), collar x malice, // games: hollow knight, stardew valley, pokemon (N my love), omori, the summ // general likes: plushies, classical music, kpop (TXT), vocaloid, vtubers

FAQ*

what fandoms will you write for?*

// anything listed in my main interests in my stated above ; anything else (like things mentioned in my smaller interests) i can consider if i’m in a certain mood, but otherwise these are the only fandoms i’m knowledgeable enough to write about

do you do scenarios? drabbles? headcanons? full on fics?*

// well, honestly i can do almost anything if i’m inspired enough. please keep in mind, i will only write for transmasc, male or masc readers. and i write mainly mlm pairs, but can consider wlw if im comfortable enough for it.

any kinks or things that you don't write for?*

// piss, scat, stuff like this ig. i’m okay with dub-con and things dealing with blood or violence. when it comes to non-con, i used to say i was alright with it but i'm a little hesitant upon further thought; i'll just say i'm unsure for now. i will absolutely not write nsfw for luke from obey me! shall we date.

anything i, the requester, should keep in mind?*

// my brain simply works in the worst of ways, please keep in mind that my interpretations of certain characters might be vastly different from yours. i love to view some characters as creepy, odd and pathetic men that act like virgins in the face of genuine feelings (looking at you levi, lucifer, yoshida and childe). of course, this can change depending on the situation they are placed in, as i do like a dom!lucifer on some days. it just depends! it’d help immensely if you could clarify what sort of vibe you’re looking for, otherwise keep in mind that the character might seem different than you’re use to. if you’re unsure, just ask what my headcanons are for a particular character.

how long should i expect to wait for my request to be done?*

// forever? haha honestly im not so sure, i’ll probably go through casual asks a lot faster than requests since i tend to lose motivation real easy. the most i can say is that if its been a month, it’s not likely i’m going to do your request

can i resubmit my request?*

// im hesitant to say yes, but if you are particularly passionate and a month later you still have the brainrot then sure, resubmit it.

anything you like to write for?*

// my guilty pleasure is omegaverse au’s. i absolutely love them and you will absolutely see hc’s and fics about it whether you ask or not. however, if you request something dealing with abo stuff i might have a higher likelihood of writing for it lol.

my asks are open all the time so feel free reach out for casual chatter. if you are wanting a request of some kind please read my request faq first

ao3 *** writing tag

[truelijuniplol67]

inanimate insanity future au real names

taco - moxie (jus cause i think the word suits her )

microphone - jana. (randomly chosen)

balloon - levi (jus realised levi is like levitation im so smart that's sooo totally intentional)

baseball - ryan (stolen)

nickel - asher (i wanna say asherly cause he's so multi gender coded but in denial coded to me hnng) (i also chose ahs to begin with cause it's stupid like him)

oj - oliver (i wanted to call him oliver in a lots au for a while actually. someone else also uses this i saw)

paper - payton (yea ze'd use a name that had p at the begining - stolen)

trophy - teagan (stolan. also found this er sooo uh yea yea it's so fitting it's catchy i fucking love it unisex multigender trophy w)

suitcase - ronna (initially due to my cousin having that name first coming to mind and then i found this so it's stuck now)

salt - sylvia (i like to hc that if the ii players do break off salt would realise he's transmale and therefore would b called sylva but this is also just assuming they jus change their names and nothing happens so i jus. used the other version. if it wernt for fem transmasc salt taking over my head i wouldve jsut wen twith somptin stipud like sophie or smt cause she's white n i hate her asfdgh)

[quality-street-rat]

I Know

MDNI, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Attack on Titan fic, Levi x transmasc reader, angst, canon character death, canon-typical violence and injury, reader gets fucking isekai’d lmao, breeding talk/no actual breeding, reader wants babies but not like that

Object Resonance, def: The psychic ability to touch objects or people and receive information spanning all five senses about them

AGAIN, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Edit: I can't believe I have to say this but antis DNI too

Levi sat across from you, steely gaze boring into you while his fingers tapped nervously on the table. You knew it was nervous because you were also touching the table, trying to ignore his staring while Hange talked excitedly in your ear. 

What does Levi Ackerman have to be nervous about? You wondered fleetingly before your attention was drawn once more by Hange’s findings. They surprisingly talked to you most during dinner, being too absorbed in training and science most of the day. The only things they really said to you in the lab were related to their experiments on you. The Freak, Levi called you sometimes. You knew he didn’t really mean it. Your Object Resonance told you at least that much. Maybe he knew that you knew, maybe he didn’t. He kept saying it anyway.

You liked to go outside and watch the sky after dinner most nights. It comforted you a little, knowing that some moon, if not this moon, shone in a different sky back home. How you’d gotten here, you had no idea. You mostly chalked it up to a half-baked isekai plot, but in real life. The Object Resonance was new, though you had been closely following Attack On Titan for a while before your…arrival? Appearance? Didn’t matter. You knew what was going to happen, but…you couldn’t bring yourself to change anything. If one thing changed, everything else would, and then you wouldn’t know what would happen next. So you…pretended, that everything you knew was based on your Object Resonance. 

“Cadet.” Levi sat down next to you on the bench, staring up at the sky.

“Not your cadet,” you laughed softly. It was an exchange you’d had a thousand times, Levi insisting on calling you a cadet despite being fully aware you weren’t an official member of the military, instead documented as a “consultant.”

The comfortable silence stretched for a good ten minutes. Levi began tapping his fingers again after the first five, and finally spoke.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” You turned to look at him. It was 842, and he looked as stunning as he always did. The timeline was a little different, you’d realized, given that Levi joined the scouts earlier than you’d guessed. That being said, you’d always known he was beautiful, but you’d kept your mouth shut for a long time about how you felt. He had other things to think about.

“Yeah.” Levi seemed to ponder, his face still turned upward. You watched his side profile with silent admiration.

“Take your time,” you teased.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, but smiled ever so slightly. “I. You haven’t been here for very long. Only a few months. And. I understand quite well the…gender thing you and Hange talked about. It took me a while to realize, and…I know that I’m not the best at talking to people. But.” 

The silence dragged on.

“But…?” You prompted.

He turned to look at you, gray eyes somehow soft and intense all at once. 

“Y/n…” he breathed. “I think…I think I’m in love with you.”

You leaned back immediately, a sad look overcoming your features.

“No,” you said gently. “No, you don’t.”

“What?” Levi’s brow furrowed.

“You think you do, and I hear you saying that,” you went on, “but you don’t. And you can’t. I’m not meant to be here. We both know that. And besides…you want someone else.”

“Oh really?” Levi growled. “And who might that be?”

“Excuse me?” Levi’s voice was angry now. “How could you possibly say that?”

“I’ve touched you before,” you reminded him. “When we met, and shook hands. I know. You love someone.”

You smiled sadly.

“Not me.”

“Touch me then,” he demanded, holding out his hands in an almost supplicating manner. “Touch my hands, my wrists, my arms, my face, anything you need for me to prove that I want you, no one else.”

You sighed, but took his hands in yours and shut your eyes. You saw flashes of a face that wasn’t yours and blond hair, felt Levi’s deep attraction to them. You then saw yourself, heard your own laugh, felt a touch on your hands as if your own hands were being held. Your senses filled up with a never-ending barrage of you, you, you.

You took your hands back with a gasp.

“Well?” Levi demanded.

You took a deep breath and put on a gentle smile before answering him.

“You have an obsession. I’ll give you that. If you want to call it love, then go ahead. I won’t stop you.”

He shifted closer. Licked his lips nervously.

“I do want to call it love. It’s not an obsession just because you’re a man. Will you…stop me from kissing you?”

You pondered. It would be nice to have the attention you so dearly craved from the man himself, Levi Ackerman. Had since you first saw him, years and worlds ago. On the other hand, you knew he wasn’t destined to be yours. You were a trespasser,  an invader, a usurper of another’s rightful place. 

Fuck it, you decided. He’s here now. He wants me now. It will be what it will be, and I will take the disappointment when it comes.

“It’s not because I’m a man. It’s because I’m me. But…no.” you said with fake nonchalance. “I don’t think I will.”

Levi leaned in slowly, his eyes flicking to yours before closing, as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. He brought his hands up and ran them through your hair as you broke apart.

“Shit, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he chuckled.

“Kiss me?” You asked.

“Touch your hair.” He did it again for good measure. “It just fits your face so well. And it’s soft, and…” he trailed off, petting his hands through your hair again.

Your eyes fluttered closed. That felt so nice…but.

“It’s getting late,” you whispered. Levi frowned and removed his hands from your hair.

“You’re right. You should sleep. Can I walk you to your room?” He asked, getting up.

“No thank you.” You stood as well, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Goodnight Levi. Thank you.”

        —------------

                                          845, three months before the fall of Wall Maria

You carefully took off your uniform straps, hanging them neatly on a hook. No matter how much you trained, the ODM gear still eluded you. Three years of training had somewhat helped, you could move around. But you couldn’t do it terribly fast, and forget about wielding blades. 

“Hard day?” A voice from the doorway asked. You turned to see Levi standing there, watching you undress.

“No more than usual.” You softly laughed before you peeled off your white pants, tossing them onto the bed with a sigh.

“Again?” Levi tsk’d as he walked to the bed to fold them.

“I was going to do that,” you whined as you pulled on your regular pants.

“You should take better care of your uniform.”

“I’m still not military, it’s technically not mine.”

“Hm.”

You smiled. You’d had this exchange many times over the past three years. You shared a room with a soldier named Abraham, but you spent most nights in Levi’s quarters. Nobody talked about it. Well, except Hange. She teased you and Levi both whenever you were in the lab at the same time. 

“You’re not too sore?” Levi asked, reaching to help you put on your shirt. You waited until the gray fabric settled around your hips to answer.

“No.”

“Good.”

You knew what he was really asking. 

“Come to my room tonight early then.” Levi kissed you on the forehead and left. You sighed as you sat to put on your shoes. 

This can’t last, you reminded yourself again. Three years with Levi had been wonderful. He grew angry whenever you said that he wouldn’t love you forever though, and did everything he could to prove you wrong. You appreciated the gestures, but you knew. You knew he would leave eventually. So you’d just smile and thank him, take the gift or the compliment or whatever it was, and pretend it was going to be okay. You had to admit though, the sex was fantastic. You’d had a hysterectomy years before ending up on Paradis, so you didn’t have to worry about anything. You never took off your shirt during sex though, and Levi was very respectful of that. Didn’t touch you there, didn’t talk about them, and even offered you his own shirts sometimes.

Dinner was uneventful. You could feel Levi’s gaze on you from across the mess hall, and finished quickly. You wanted a shower before heading up. A thunderstorm began while you were showering, and you felt the floor rumble after a particularly close flash of lightning. The lantern you took up to Levi’s quarters left flickering shadows on the wall, the strong wind threatening to blow the shutters on the ground floor. 

“You started without me,” you pouted, shutting and locking the door behind you and blowing out the lantern.

Levi lay on the bed with his hand around his cock, propping himself up on his elbows to look at you when you spoke.

“Had to take the edge off,” he said lowly, pupils blown out. “Come here.” 

“Do you want me to light a candle?” You asked, quickly stripping off your pants while you walked to the bed.

“Don’t bother. Come kiss me.” 

You obliged, and he grasped your hair with his clean hand, gently pulling. You gasped, and pulled away as he wiped his other hand on the sheets. 

“Let me take care of you tonight,” you whispered. A crack of lightning lit up the room in stark relief, then it was gone with a rumble.

“Okay,” Levi breathed, “just let me–” He kissed you again, nipping your bottom lip before letting you go.

You kissed down the column of his throat, pausing to gently bite and suck a mark near the bottom. No visible hickeys, that was the rule. You moved on, leaving pretty dark bruises all over his collarbone while your hands came up to play with his nipples.

“Oh,” he gasped. “That feels so good, sweetheart.”

“Yeah?” 

You kept going, kissing wetly down his stomach and across his hips. You skipped where he wanted you before sucking marks into his thighs.

“Don’t tease,” Levi whispered. “Please, y/n, don’t tease.”

You finished making a little bruise in the crease of his hip before looking up.

“I have no idea what you mean, starshine.” Your smile gave you away as he looked down in disbelief. 

“You’re impossible,” he said with a grin. “I love you.”

A crestfallen look crossed your face for a split second, illuminated by the lightning.

“I love you too.” Your voice was lost in the thunder, but you knew he could feel your words in the lips against his skin.

Levi frowned, sitting up.

“Hey, I–”

You interrupted him by licking all the way up his cock, and he broke off with a strangled noise, falling back down onto the bed.

It started raining. You could hear it, could taste the pre in your throat, your nose full of Levi’s heady scent, and you closed your eyes to just feel. A hint of something passed through your Object Resonance, but you ignored it, sucking harshly and holding Levi’s hips down so he couldn’t choke you.

Levi was getting close, you could tell, and you rolled your tongue across his tip just to feel him twitch in your mouth.

Then you heard it. It was muffled by the rain, but you could hear it as clearly as if Levi had moaned in your ear.

“Erwin…”

You froze. Levi seemed to realize his mistake as he tensed up.

“No, y/n, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry–”

You opened your mouth, releasing him as a long string of saliva clung to his tip while you climbed over him.

“Shh, it’s okay,” you soothed, kissing him deeply, desperately, your words broken up by filthy, wet, sloppy kisses. 

“I know–” 

“--I know, starshine–”

“--I’ve known all along–”

“--You don’t have to say anything–”

“Y/n, could you just–”

“Levi Ackerman, shut the fuck up,” you said, resting your forehead against his. “I knew I couldn’t have you forever, so I’m going to take what I can for tonight.”

You reached back, guiding him into your soaking wet cunt. You both let out a low moan as you settled all the way down.

“Hang on,” Levi panted. “Let me–”

You slapped your hand over his mouth, kissing your knuckles over his lips. You started moving, fucking yourself on his cock with a desperate force, grinding him deep with every thrust. He moved his hands up, as if to stop you.

“No!” you growled. “Stay down and let me have this last time.” You sped up, making his eyes roll back in his head and his breaths come heavier. You released his mouth, letting his loud moans fill the room. The rain kept him much quieter than he would have been otherwise. Soon enough you started babbling.

“Fuck, you feel so good starshine.”

“You’re perfect, you’re so perfect.”

“You’re so deep, so deep.”

He was close. Some deep wall inside you broke at the thought of this ending, and your heartbreak found its way into your words.

“It’s okay, Levi,” you panted. “I know. I knew all this time I was just a hole for you to dump your cum.” You emphasized the word with a particularly hard thrust. 

His eyes widened.

“So shut up and let me have it,” you continued. Your words turned into breathy moans as you continued. 

“Give me your cum, please please please I need it, I need you, fuck me full, fill me up.” Words spilled from your mouth without your permission. “Fuck me full, get me pregnant, I need it so bad, give me a baby, I wanna have your baby, please–”

Levi came with a shout, hot white seed scalding you from the inside. You sat panting, while Levi stared up at the ceiling with glazed-over eyes. He snapped to attention as you slid off him, dripping white down your leg as you retrieved your pants. The pounding rain filled the silence.

“Don’t worry.” Your voice was tired, resigned. “Still can’t get pregnant. That was…just talk.”

The silence dragged on as you got dressed, broken only as you reached the door.

“Did you at least cum?”

You laughed softly, lost in the rain.

“No.” You didn’t look back. 

      —--------

You started wearing gloves after that, only touching things when Hange or Erwin asked. It was refreshing, the silence. You slept in your own bed every night now. Hange still teased on the rare occasion that Levi visited the lab, but he didn’t wind up in the same room as you unless he had to. Soon you started calling him Captain every time you addressed him. Hange noticed, of course, but didn’t bring it up after the first time.

Wall Maria fell, as of course it did. Every new recruit to the Scouts was introduced to you, the consultant. You shook hands with each one, and felt their deaths more often than not. You didn’t tell them they were dying soon. What good would it do? You didn’t tell Hange either. 

Erwin occasionally took you to political events with him and Levi in order to quietly gain information about everyone you met, and you spent a great deal of those trips staring out the window, only spoken when spoken to in an effort to maintain appearances. At the events you would smile and be polite, shaking hands with your gloves tucked in your coat pocket. You wrote reports in the evenings and pretended everything was okay. You spent a lot of time with Moblit over the next three years, a quiet camaraderie concerning your unrequited loves between you. Surprisingly with his help you became at least somewhat proficient with the ODM gear, but Erwin wouldn’t clear you for battle because you weren’t military. You’re too valuable being the underlying reason, because of course it was with him.

           Sooner than you expected, it was time. You were waiting in the Trost District. You were jittery, knowing the Scouts were due to come back today. When you heard the bells, you rode out to meet them and fell in next to Hange. 

“News?” you asked.

“Nothing new,” they said, clearly tired. You nodded.

“How many?”

“He’s okay, y/n.” Hange chuckled. “Shouldn’t you be talking to him?”

You turned your head to watch Levi for a moment.

“Not anymore.” It was your first admission of things changing between you. Hange immediately looked worried.

“Look, I know he’s my best friend but I can kick his ass for you,” they offered. 

“Not his fault.” You shook your head. “Besides, it’s three years too late.”

“Three years? By the walls, and I’ve been teasing you about him all this time!”

“It’s fine, Hange. But listen,” you changed the subject.

“What? Did you see something? Did you write it down?” Hange seemed excited, as you knew they would.

“Not exactly. Something just feels…off. May I?” You took off your glove and reached out. Hange grinned and excitedly held your hand for a moment. 

“Anything?” They were practically vibrating in their saddle.

“No. Not really. Something about today just feels very strange.”

You had barely reached HQ before an alarm was sounded. The outer wall of Trost was breached, and they needed the Scouts.Your request to join them was once again denied, and so you sat despondently in Hange’s office trying to read until a cadet arrived with a summons for you. You’d expected it, so you sent them back to Erwin with the message that you were on your way. It was evening, and you were immediately shown to a courthouse and told that the Commander and Captain Ackerman were waiting for you below.

Eren Jeager looked younger than you’d expected. Then again, he was fifteen. When he woke up, you entered the cell despite Erwin and Levi’s warnings to shake his hand. You already knew enough, but you told them what they wanted to hear. Eren meant no harm to them, he didn’t remember how he’d become a shifter, and all you could see when you touched him was a family portrait. You described the portrait, but didn’t say anything else.

You soon found yourself working closely with Levi again. Erwin and Hange both wanted you as close as possible to Eren, which meant a temporary assignment to Squad Levi. Though you engaged in friendly conversation with the others, you barely spoke to Levi, and made eye contact with him even less. It continued that way for a long time.

—--------------

                     “Commander Zoe?”

           “Oh for goodness’ sake, y/n, call me Hange! You’ve done it for six years, it can’t be that hard.” Hange looked up to see you grinning, before relaxing and laughing.

“Gotcha,” you said, coming to sit in front of their desk, keeping a firm hand on your bandages until you were settled. 

“Hey, could you ask Moblit–” Hange stopped, their face falling.

“I know,” you said. “He was my friend too.”

Hange sighed. 

“Have you talked to Levi?”

They looked up, surprised. 

“Have you?”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me,” you said with a shrug.

“He might not want to,” Hange said. “But…I think he needs to. He needs to hear it from you, you know. That there was nothing he could have done. That any of us could have done.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said after a while.

-

There was a knock on Levi’s office door. He looked up from blankly staring at his paperwork and frowned.

“Come in.”

Sasha Braus carefully opened the door and came in, setting a tea tray on Levi’s desk.

“Mr. L/n sent tea.”

Levi stared.

“Did he.”

“Um…”

“Dismissed.”

Once the door was firmly shut and Levi had heard Sasha’s footsteps fade away did he move to pick up the cup. He carefully took a sip. 

Oh, he thought. He made it himself. You still remembered how he liked his tea. A piece of paper fluttered from the bottom of the cup onto the desk. Levi frowned and picked it up, unfolding it. 

I’m sorry. It was your handwriting. Levi sat motionless for a good five minutes before standing and storming out of the room.

-

You sat outside on your usual bench. It was a clear night, and the empty yard seemed to shine almost silver.

“Cadet.”

“Captain,” you responded without turning to look. 

“...Did you know?”

This made you look at him.

“What?”

“Did you know?!”

“Yes. The moment I touched him that day I knew.” You looked away again.

“Why didn’t you warn us?!” Levi yelled. “Why didn’t you say something?! Is this what you wanted?!”

You whipped your head around with a glare.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Captain.” You were seething. “You think I could have done something?! Is that it? You think I could have changed Erwin’s mind? You think anyone could have changed his mind?”

“You should have tried!”

“No!” You stood, pointing at him. “You don’t get to tell me what I should or shouldn’t have done! You don’t have my power, you don’t know how much of a curse it is! I thought about it! I seriously considered it, I knew you didn’t want to lose him! Do you want to guess what I saw the minute I decided to tell him he was going to die?”

“What?” Levi demanded. “What did you see?”

“Nothing changed,” you hissed. “I saw him ignoring my warning and choosing to do the exact thing that would get him killed. Fuck, I nearly died trying to save him anyway. And that’s not all!”

The anger faded from Levi’s face.

“That’s how you got injured?”

“Do you know what I did right after Trost?” You shouted, getting more and more upset the more you spoke. “I tried to change something I saw! I tried to change what I knew would happen! Nothing changed! I couldn’t save your squad, I couldn’t catch Annie, hell, I couldn’t even expose Reiner and Bertholdt! And I don’t need you getting mad at me when I’m already mad enough at myself. For fuck’s sake, I knew who was going to die years in advance and I couldn’t save any of–” You stopped, realizing your mistake.

“What do you mean, you knew years in advance?” Levi asked quietly. 

“I’m not…I’m not from just any different world,” you said cautiously. “You…you don’t exist where I’m from. But…stories about you do. You’re a story book, a dark fairy tale, you’re not real. And at first when I got here I thought it was a dream. A weird, realistic dream that I couldn’t wake up from, because surely this place didn’t exist. Then…I got hurt for the first time. I tried everything I could to wake up, but nothing worked. I realized this was real, you…were real, Captain.”

Levi stared at you.

“I can’t even tell you how this story ends, because it won’t change anything, everyone who dies in the end still will, and I have to watch it happen knowing I couldn’t fix it.” Tears started to stream down your face, only able to get your words out through sobs. “And you. I knew you couldn’t love me. I told you for three years. So no. You don’t get to be angry at me because I knew Erwin was going to die and I couldn’t save him. I just wanted you to be happy.”

“Sit down,” Levi said softly. You rolled your eyes at him, but you still sat back on the bench. He knelt in front of you and reached for the hem of your shirt.

“What are you–”

“You ripped your stitches, idiot. Shut up and let me see.”

You looked down to see that yes, there was a growing stain of red on your shirt. You let Levi lift your shirt up to reveal the gash across your waist. He tucked the hem under your chest just like he used to, and you stared up at the sky while he gently inspected your wound.

“Good news, only one popped. Let’s get you to the infirmary so I can fix it.”

“Why would you–”

“Quiet. Just let me.”

You fell silent as Levi put your shirt back and helped you stand so you could walk to the infirmary. 

“So, this fairy tale.” Levi didn’t look at you as he spoke. “Who’s the hero of the story?”

“Heh.” You couldn’t help the faint laugh that escaped despite the stab of pain in your gut. “There is no hero in this story.”

“Fair enough. Main character then.”

“Officially? Eren Jeager.”

“That tracks, actually. And unofficially?”

“Depends who you ask.”

You stopped talking as Levi opened the door to the infirmary and sat you down on the nearest bed.

“Wait here.” He went off to grab materials while you stared at the ceiling. HQ was pretty much deserted. The Corps was down to nine members, plus you. Nobody was around to be in the infirmary or to staff it. It was just you two there. 

           Levi came back and told you to lay down. The room was quiet except for your hisses when something particularly hurt as he fixed you up. 

“Hange,” Levi said as he washed his hands.

“What about them?” You asked, gingerly sitting up. He didn’t answer, and you understood. “We have…three years with them.”

Levi nodded before coming back over to help you stand.

“And…me?” His voice was so quiet you almost missed it. You held his hand for longer than you should have, making sure to double-check, triple-check, quadruple-check.

“That’s the funny part.” You smiled sadly, taking your hand back. “You, Levi Ackerman, make it to the end.”

His eyes darkened.

“The kids?”

“Four outta six ain’t bad.”

“Who?”

“Don’t. Don’t ask me that.”

“Alright.”

You stared at the floor, missing his intent gaze on you.

“Can I walk you to your room? Wouldn’t want my hard work to go to waste if you trip and fall down the stairs or something.”

“...Sure.”

He offered you his coat to wear up to your room given that your shirt was now a bloody rag. You accepted, heart hurting from things past. At your door, he paused and grabbed your wrist.

“Yeah, I’m giving you back your coat,” you said.

“No, that’s not what I–” Levi cut himself off, then tried again. “Do you remember what you said about obsessions?”

“I do.” You did. Almost word for word.

“I think…you were right. But not about you.”

You waited as he obviously struggled with his words.

“Erwin. He was an obsession.”

“Was he.” Your tone was flat.

“Yes,” he said firmly. “We never–he never–...I don’t think he even knew.”

“I see.”

“I…do you still…I mean, if you–”

“I never stopped, Levi.”

“Oh,” he said simply.

“But I need time.”

“Of course. You don’t even, I mean, I don’t expect…that is to say I don’t feel entitled to any–”

“Sshh.” You put your hand over his mouth, reminiscent of that night years ago. He quieted, and you moved to take off his coat.

“Keep that,” Levi said. “At least for tonight.”

You opened the door.

“Goodnight, Levi.”

“Goodnight, y/n.”

    — – – — – – —

You were woken up by a kiss pressed to your forehead.

“Cadet.”

“Not your cadet.” You didn’t even open your eyes as you smiled. You did open them when the curtain pulled back, making you yelp.

“No fair,” you pouted.

“If the kettle boiling woke me up yesterday then the sun can wake you up today,” Levi said as he slid back into bed.

“You sure you should have done that?”

“I can stand long enough to open the curtains, sweetheart.”

“If you insist,” you said, snuggling into his chest. 

You lay there together for a time in silence, simply enjoying each other’s company.

“You ever think about going back to Paradis?” You asked after a while.

“A few times. Why?” Levi asked. 

I know it’s been six years since The Rumbling, but…I’m sure there’s still plenty of orphans in Queen Historia’s kingdom. I was thinking…maybe some of them might like to come live here.”

Levi scoffed gently. 

“I think the one we have is enough.”

Gabi dropping something in the kitchen loud enough to be heard several rooms away punctuated his point, and you giggled.

“I guess you’re right,” you said. “I just…I don’t know.”

Levi was quiet for a bit.

“You want a baby,” he said finally.

“Certainly not functionally,” you said. “But…yeah. I want a baby. But the same way every man dreaming of fatherhood wants one.”

“We could get a surrogate,” Levi said with a yawn. “If you think I’m not too old to raise a child.”

“Certainly not,” you said. “You haven’t gone senile just yet. I hardly think you will. I was just being wishful anyways.”

“We’ll talk about it some other time,” Levi said, dropping a kiss on your lips.

There was a loud clanging noise from the kitchen, followed by the sound of a wooden spoon banging against a pot.

“I’m not stopping until you wake up!” Gabi paused in her banging to yell. She continued for a good ten seconds before stopping again.

“I got woke up by the shower running at two a.m. again, pervy old man!”

“Why does she never get mad at you,” Levi grumbled before shouting back. “Wide awake, brat!” 

“Maybe you should stop getting frisky late at night,” you suggested coyly. “Then she wouldn’t feel the need to get back at you every time the shower wakes her up.”

“You are just as much a culprit and you know it,” Levi said, rolling his eyes. He kissed you again.

“I love you.”

“I know,” you told him. And you did.

[exchangestudentmicha]

The Brothers with a Transmasc S/O

Transmasc MC

Warnings: talks about gender dysphoria, suggestive bits in Asmo’s part, I can’t write for shit

Everyone’s dysphoria is different, and some people don’t have dysphoria. That doesn’t make you any less valid.

This is partially inspired by my experiences with dysphoria and how I deal with it. So if its different for you, sorry about that I only really know about my experiences since I’m basically the only trans person I know.

(A lot of this is absolutely just pure self indulgence)

Also, what a perfect way to start pride month

Lucifer

Face it, its Lucifer, he already knew

And he’s ready to make sure that you’re comfortable during the entirety of you stay in the Devildom

Binders? Packers? Trans Tape? Voice training? Anything to make you feel more comfortable

Man could probably hook you up with some T to be honest

If anyone tries to misgender or deadname you, well… It was nice knowing them

Will gladly help you through your dysphoric episodes when they come around

Chest dysphoria? He’ll get your binder and give you his coat. Hair dysphoria? He’ll help you tuck it into a hat. Voice dysphoria? You can text him to speak, you don’t have to say anything for now.

Mammon

“You’re what now?” *cue MC giving him an annoyed look* “What?”

You’re gonna have to explain what being trans is to this idiot

But once you do he will unsurprisingly get even more protective over you

Will gladly throw hands with anyone that tries to be discriminatory against you, anywhere, anytime

In fact, his tsundere tendencies will get even wilder as he constantly flips between trying to come off as cool and uncaring, and being ready to protect or comfort you at a moments notice

Man is prepared to comfort you or help distract you from any dysphoria that comes around, immediately forgets about whatever nonexistent ‘cred’ he has to keep, tsundere mode is out the window for now. The only thing that matters is you

Need a distraction? Boom, movie night with your favorite snacks. Not feeling masculine enough? What are you talking about, you’re the most handsome man he’s ever met. You want cuddles to feel better? You won’t be leaving his arms the entire night.

Levi

He does his cute little scream, we all know it

“WHOAAAAAAAA! You’re just like this character from ‘I’m a magical boy, but I have to pretend that I’m not to keep my villain family from attacking me’!”

Will try to find every anime, manga, and video game with trans characters out there so you can have characters to relate to

Part 2 of ‘will throw hands with anyone that tries to hurt you’

Along with shouting every swear word he knows (seriously, grab him and cover his mouth or he’ll sound like a typical 12 year old playing COD)

He’ll probably be the first to figure out that you’re having a bad dysphoria day, because let’s be real, this man waits everyday for the time when you come to his room to hang out

And when you don’t show up, he kinda blows up your phone a bit before going to your room himself

The MASTER of distraction

I mean hell, with how many games, anime series, manga, and TSL he has, you could stay in his room for a literal month and still have things to do (He probably also has the snack and ramen rations to the point of where you didn’t have to leave the room at all too)

He may not be the best influence for getting out being a functional person, he’ll at least be good at distracting you from dysphoria and helping you cope with it              

Satan

Will immediately read any book he can find about being trans and how to help and support people who are trans

Might accidentally ignore you bc he’s nose deep in books trying to figure out how to be the best boyfriend he could be

Just talk to him about it and he’ll immediately stop and explain what’s going on (poor boi feels so guilty)

Man will not just throw hands with whoever tries to hurt you, he will kill

Will gladly read to you when you’re dysphoric as a distraction from it or show you the kitten he just snuck in just don’t tell Lucifer

He will also make sure that you’re taking care of yourself when doing things like binding

“How long have you had that binder on?” *uncertain MC noises* “Take it off before you hurt yourself, I’ll get you some water to drink as well. It’s good to stay hydrated while you’re binding.”

Asmo

Immediately plans a shopping trip as soon as you tell him

“We need to get you some proper masculine clothes, those oversized shirts and hoodies may make you look flatter, but they also make you look a bit like a child.” (He’s usually brutally honest when it comes to fashion but he’s trying to be nice) “I just want to help you pick out some clothes that make you look like the handsome man you are~”

Will give you every tip he knows about how to look more masculine

Won’t exactly throw hands with anyone who tries to discriminate against you, but will gladly destroy their social life in an instant

Will gladly show you his strap on collection for when you get into sexy times no don’t ask why he has so many, you may not want to know in some cases

If you’re going through a rough patch of dysphoria, he will give you a massive self care day. Just a whole day of him, you, endless praise, and anything and everything under the sun to help you relax and feel better

Beel

He’s another one that you’ll have to explain being trans to

But once you do, he’ll immediately drop whatever he was eating and pull you into a tight hug and maybe suffocate you with his massive pecs

Will probably look up ways to help you through your transition and support you

If you mention that you want to bulk up a bit to look more masculine, he will do whatever he can to help

This man knows his stuff when it comes to working out and building up certain muscles, he’ll tell you which exercises will help you bulk up and teach you how to do the exercises so you don’t hurt yourself when you do them

He’ll also make sure that you don’t wear your binder while working out, no it doesn’t matter how bad you want to it’s not worth a hospital trip

And if anyone tries to make you uncomfortable while you two are working out, well how about that, Beel’s found his next meal

If you’re feeling dysphoric he’ll bring you every snack that he can find in the house and let you pick your favorites and maybe eat around half of them

Belphie

Let’s be real, he’ll probably say something on the lines of “neat” and then roll over and go back to sleep

Don’t worry, your words got through to him, because once he’s awake, he’s ready to show his full and maybe half asleep support

He’s been around humans the most out of his brothers due to his angel past, so he already understands what you mean

He’ll ask what your preferred name is, pronouns, anything he can think of that would make you more comfortable

That also includes his beloved pillow, yup, if you’re feeling dysphoric he’ll gladly hand over his cow pillow if you want it

Speaking of when you’re dysphoric, if he finds out, he’ll pick you up, take you to the attic, make you into a blanket burrito (with your consent of course), and then cuddle you while telling you reassuring words until you feel better

He will gladly do anything to make you feel better, he’ll even get up from his naps! Without complaining! You are his everything, and he still feels like he owes you ever since the attic incident

[vaspider]

I actually don't really think they're joking. I think that a lot of people in the queer community don't realize how much the political lesbian/radfem simplistic view of "men bad" has infected the community as a whole.

You see it in the "my sexuality is every girl and precisely one man" which is hugely widespread in the way m-spec women discuss their sexualities. (Which is not to say that a lot of women don't feel that way, just that when I've pointed this out to my friends, and how shitty it made me and other transmascs/men feel, a bunch of them went 'oh shit, you're right.') You see it in how m-spec women are made to feel like they should apologize for being attracted to or involved with men/mascs, and how lesbian/sapphic/queer spaces eject -- sometimes violently -- m-spec women in "straight-passing" relationships. (This also happens to m-spec mascs/men, but not so loudly, and in a different way.)

You see it in the long and storied way that transmascs and trans men have been treated in our community. This isn't the first time that trans men have been told they are 'giving up womanhood' and how dare they. There's a scene in The L Word, a show that ended 12 years ago, which has a character literally saying that to a trans man, that he's 'giving up the most beautiful thing' by transitioning, and that thing is 'being a woman.'

This isn't a new message, that men are the enemy, and that anyone who voluntarily chooses masculinity or manhood (whatever form of masculinity or manhood they choose) is a gender traitor, "joining the enemy," deluded, attempting to "opt out" of misogyny, or any number of other loathsome ideas. This spills over into the idea that transmascs/men have "aligned interests" with TERFs, that we don't actually face societal transphobia, that we aren't targeted by institutional transphobia in any way, that we're 'collateral damage' of the "real" transphobia that transfems face, that we magically just gain male privilege the moment we start transitioning, that we're never targeted by misogyny, that we don't face physical violence, that we've "joined the oppressors" and are somehow capable as a class of being the oppressors of transfems rather than simply another oppressed class (which is its own topic that deserves like, a whole-ass essay, but whatever) that transmisandry isn't a "real" thing and transmascs don't face any sort of specific-to-us discrimination or issues... and all of those ideas damage our ability as a community to discuss and ameliorate these sometimes-fatal and always-damaging ideas.

Hell, to listen to people within the community talk, you wouldn't think that JK Rowling's horrible essay didn't spend a huge chunk of time misgendering and gaslighting transmascs, or that one of the big "bibles" of TERFery (Ab*gail Shrier's 'Irreversible Damage') wasn't targeted very specifically, fucking laser-focused, on transmascs, including non-binary transmascs. And this all spills out from the idea that we don't face any 'real' oppression because we've 'joined the majority/oppressors,' and "men are bad," which is such base-level 1970s retro radfem nonsense.

And honestly, at the end of the day? It doesn't matter if it's a joke, and I'm pretty displeased with "oh they don't understand that it's serious and they think it's just a joke." These sorts of "jokes", levied at transmasc people, aren't okay. Maybe if it's just you and your buds who have given each other permission to shit-talk each other, and you know each other and have personal context with one another, sure. But in this sort of open, parasocial context where you have people who don't know these two transhets, it is always damaging, and saying "gosh I think they just think it's a joke" does the opposite of excusing it.

This lateral aggression shit is terrible and damaging to lots of people -- I honestly think there's no segment of the queer community that this doesn't directly damage, and we should challenge it whenever we see it, not make excuses or permission for it in the slightest way.

link to original tweet