#transcribed this whole thing but it's too long to post the whole video and i wanted this clip posted

[hugheses]

Shergill2000 asks: Your mom just got inducted into the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. How proud are you of her achievements and what role did she play in making you the player you are? We should point out your mother, Ellen, was a star at the University of New Hampshire as a hockey player, and she helped the USA to a silver medal in the 1992 Worlds already in the University of New Hampshire Hall of Fame.

Yeah, all right. So back to the question.

Yeah, it was kinda sprung on us out of nowhere, I just woke up to a text from my dad saying that she was inducted, but, you know, really happy for her. She's, you know, back to your question, she's someone that, you know, got us to where we are. She kind of drove us up the mountain. And, you know, my dad, we talked to him a lot about hockey, but my mom was always there, driving us to the rink and, you know, pitching in as well with thoughts about the game. So she's, you know, obviously educated and she's, you know, been working with the U.S. national team, women's team the last couple of months. And I know she's enjoying that and they're lucky to have her. But um, you know, not as lucky as us.

[slowestlap]

Bradley Scanes, Max's trainer during 2020-2023 seasons, did an interview with The Red Flags Podcast (22 Jan 2024)

I took one for the team and transcribed the bits I found interesting enough to share:

[12:40] Talking about the first times Brad met Max and how important it is that you click together well:

I think it's the most important. We had a good conversation in that time, I think the decision probably set on the fact that, for half of the time I was there, he was out driving the car. But I was there, talking to his dad, talking to his family. And really got on with Red Bull and really kinda fit into that mold and did for my whole 4 years with him and it was so nice. And I appreciate Max for this, his dad for this and the rest of the family because I felt part of the family the entire time which was really really nice and you know, we'll stay friends.

[24:00] From what I saw, I saw a guy that was elite. He knew where he wanted to go. You could see the drive, you could see the work ethic. The work ethic was tremendous. And for me it was just, I've gotta create the optimal space for him to be him and him to do him.

[27:30] Talking about flexibility and adaptability being the traits that separates greats from the rest:

He's on the grid being interviewed by two or three different tv stations, or something's happening with the car, he gets in the car and drives exactly the same no matter what's going on. And that's for me what I've seen from the kinda good to great.

[28:25] Was it hard to train him this year when he was so far ahead?

No, no. If anything he was more motivated this year than any year before.

[34:55] I feel like you have to be elite at falling asleep. Is Max like "allright time to go to bed" and he's like "okay [snores]"? Can kinda turn on turn off?

Yeah, he's really good at that.

[48:50] On staying motivated to win:

The mindset to keep winning is there. We love winning and it's what we get out of bed for, it's what we do our work for. We want to win no matter what it is. We going to Monza, going to Belgium, we wanna win that race. We want to win every single race and if the championship comes in the end the championship comes in the end. That's the mentality he has. […] The first one was motivated by winning the first championship, the second one was motivated by seeing off Ferrari and making sure we got the second (wdc) and that we're here to stay. And then the third one we were motivated by winning every single race and setting every single record that we could.

[1:14:55] Talking about other drivers posting tough work out videos while Max posted a lighter work out:

That's the thing actually, it's a conversation we've had before because we have the markers where we need to get to. How you get there doesn't really matter. We managed to do it in the most time efficient way, in the most enjoyable way for Max and how it doesn't impact on the other stuff as much. […] He doesn't like working out, everybody knows that. But when he's in the session he gets after it. It's just shifting that mindset, he might not want to do it ever again but there's not too much encouragement needed actually in session which is always nice. It's nice to work that way.

[1:16:10] If Max pisses you off what exercise are you doing to punish him? What's his least favorite?

Single-leg squats or planks.

[1:17:35] How long can Max plank for?

Decent amount of time. I don't actually remember but we must have hit like 4-5 minutes in pre-season test and a bit longer come summer break.

[spider-socorro-stan]

Avatar 3 script leaks

Potential spoilers ahead! If you don't want to know anything about Avatar 3, this is not the post for you. And for those of you who have seen the leaks, this is not new info, I'm like super late with this, I'm just trying to compile all the script pages into one post. Plus there is one page that I feel like has not been discussed enough, hence this post.

Spoilers under the read more, you have been warned!

Okay, first of all, yes, I'm well aware the script leaks might be fake to throw us off, or at the very least no longer true because some rewrites have happened. I get it. But, in this post, I will treat them as an accidental leak, so bear with me.

I think most of you are now aware of the first two pages, I have seen a lot of posts with them, so I'm not gonna dwell too much on those. Here are the transcripts, by reddit user hdk759:

Another reddit user, Ereska, was able to transcribe a little bit more from the second page, so combined, these two pretty much give us the whole page:

Right, so Jake and Quaritch have a little talk about Spider, who can now breathe Pandoran air, and for once these two are not actively trying to kill each other, so that's pretty interesting. What is also interesting is that all the kids are also supposedly there, when they rush to a wounded Neytiri (and on that note, where has she been? Who was she fighting?). Neytiri hugs her kids (excluding Spider, might I point out), then we cut to them all returning to High Camp where Tuk and Mo'at hug. And we have seen that scene in the behind the scenes footage, which is another reason why I really don't think the script is fake.

Note: Avatar Theory also did a video on these script leaks and in the comment section someone mentioned Va'ru is an old name for Tarsem, the new chief of the Omatikaya. So it's not a new character, just good old Tarsem, very wise for his young age :)

Onto pages 3 and 4!

These are sadly harder to read, since a lot of the text is covered, but a twitter user AkumuHoshi did their best to transcribe them too:

There's a lot of stuff missing, but I found this screenshot from reddit user BentusFr which is in pretty high definition and you can read more of the text there:

So we start off with Jake and Neytiri in a Biolab in High camp, looking at Spider, who's probably being looked at by the scientists. Jake talks about how Spider is now in danger and can't stay there, because he will become RDA's target if they find out he can breathe the air, and then Neytiri suggests: "If he is so dangerous [text hidden], you should just kill him." Cool cool cool. Guess she ain't warming up to Spider anytime soon. Jake, understandably, does not like that idea, to which Neytiri replies: "Toruk Makto knows [blurred text, but to me it seems like duty? I dunno, it's one short word, that one made the most sense to me.]" EDIT: Actually, now that I look at it, I think she actually says "Toruk Makto grows soft." Which also makes a bit more sense to me than the duty thing.

The rest of the text is too hidden to make much sense of, but we do cut to a different scene - the Tree of Souls. Kiri is trying to connect to Eywa, but gets another seizure and Mo'at has to disconnect her from the tree. And then we have a scene with Mo'at and Kiri, where we find out it was Kiri who made it possible for Spider to breathe the air, and she did so without any sacred trees nearby, she just made the roots to obey her and performed the miracle. She doesn't remember actually doing it, but Mo'at tells her she knows in her heart, and Kiri admits she did it herself. Mo'at then warns her to tell no one about it.

So here's what I want to know, were Kiri and Spider the only ones included in that miracle, or was Jake and the kids, possibly even Quaritch, there to see it? Remember, on the first script page, Jake tells Quaritch "You witnessed it tonight." and then a "long night of horrors and miracles" is mentioned on the second page. So who all knows what Kiri did? Who is Mo'at trying to protect her from?

And finally, we get to the last somewhat readable page, there is still one more that is unfortunately too blurry to be readable, at least I never saw any mention of anything else happening. So, page 5 it is!

I have no idea when the scene on that page happens, could be before the events on the first four script pages we have seen here, could be after. Personally, I think it's before. But it's just a guess. Here's the previous screenshot by BentusFr cropped and rotated to get a better look at it:

As far as I know, nobody has transcribed the text, and it does get more blurry as it goes, but the beginning is somewhat readable, so here's my best attempt at transcribing it:

VARANG WILLS Quaritch's arm to [text hidden] bulging, as his HAND OPENS and he [text hidden]

WAINFLEET takes a [text too blurry for me to read] untangling his head and arms, [can't read this one] He drops two WILD [blurry and hidden text] slams into the first na'vi to him [hidden text]

Another BOLO entangles his legs and [hidden text]

Honestly, from this point the text becoms too blurry for me to read, I do recognise a word here or there, but can't really make out a sentence from that. However, JAKE is mentioned in the next paragraph, so he's probably also there. Varang also goes on to have a bunch of lines that I sadly can't read. But if any of you can make sense of this text, by all means, feel free to let me know!

EDIT: Important addition!!! u/Ellestra on reddit just shared a link to a twitter thread where user itscaptainmarty was able to decipher more of the Varang scene! And hooooly shit it gets juicy!

Here it is:

There's s few more bits and pieces in the replies, I'll just add them here to have them on the same page:

VARANG takes QUARITCH'S hand, remembering the --

VARANG

You are strong, sky man. There is a -- in you.

(a feral grin)

I will enjoy eating your heart.

So it appears Quaritch and Wainfleet (and possibly Jake) get captured by the Ash Na'vi led by Varang. And somehow, Varang is able to control Quaritch's hand. Tsaheylu, anyone? Though probably not very consensual. But the idea of Ash people being willing to use their kuru for taking control of their enemies is quite interesting, and also really disturbing. And barely anyone talks about this! (And yes, I did make this whole post because of this one snippet of script, sue me.) EDIT: And OMG, are they also cannibals? Or is Varang just super dramatic? Who knows, but I'm intrigued. But yeah, she seems to take a weird liking to Quaritch, she's probably not used to many people fighting off her mind control. Oh yeah, and Jake is definitely there too.

So why do I think this scene happens before the whole Spider can breathe Pandoran air miracle? The leaked image from Jon Landau's video. You know, this one:

Here's Quaritch talking to Varang, still in his RDA military gear, with Spider, Lo'ak and either Kiri or Tsireya (probably Kiri) being held by the Ash na'vi in the background.

What if this is what leads to Wainfleet showing up to help Quaritch, and Jake and probably Neytiri (and other Omatikaya) coming in to save their kids, they fight with Ash na'vi, Neytiri stays behind which might be when she gets injured, while Jake and Quaritch get the kids out of there. And maybe, somewhere along the line, Spider's mask gets broken, they don't have a spare, he starts suffocating and Kiri saves him.

So yeah. That's my take on it. Thoughts?

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Hey everyone, look what I made. It took me a completely normal amount of time and I definitely did not spent all weekend on it. All weekend just transcribing and collating. Not counting the time across the last couple of years I spent finding all this stuff. I wouldn't do that.

But if I had done that, it would have started as an Excel file, but some of the transcripts were too long to fit into even the maximum sizes of a cell. Exporting it as a PDF has page breaks and won't let it take up the whole screen, and turning it into an image destroyed the links.

So I ended up going back to the HTML that I learned at computer camp when I was 13 and then used to make Harry Potter websites when I was 14 and have hardly ever used since. Had to Google a bunch of stuff to remember how to do it, but I managed to rewrite the entire table in HTML code in Notepad, and then I found a website that let me upload it in exchange for that annoying little purple thing at the bottom. I would not like to admit how long I spent trying to work out how to just upload one HTML page without having to sign up for building an entire website. Because it was too long. There had to be an easier way to do this. But I don't know what it is.

Anyway, I made this:

So... does anyone want that? It's a spreadsheet where I've collected everything I've found that seems like it could be a direct reference to the Chocolate Milk Gang. It's got transcriptions of the relevant bits of video and audio, and links to PDFs of the text or mp3s or mp4s of the video and audio files, and overall, I spent way too much time on it.

I may have gone slightly Beautiful Mind about it this weekend, pinning links up to my metaphorical cork board, connecting them with bits of red string, and frantically declaring, "It doesn't add up! What, exactly, did Andrew Maxwell call them in 2002? Because I'm getting conflicting stories here!"

At least I now have an easy thing to link to when I want to tell people what the Chocolate Milk Gang is. I realize I throw that term around a lot on this blog, and I stop to explain it every few months or, but I'm also aware that sometimes people come across these posts without all that context and it's confusing. So there you go, if anyone's ever confused by what I mean when I say "Chocolate Milk Gang". It's that, the stuff at that link. It's all those things. It's an international crime syndicate that sometimes organizes soccer matches.

I realize there are a bunch of different sources at that link, making it look like information is easy to find about it. So for some further context, those 16 spreadsheet entries are the only references to it that I've been able to find, across many many hours of searching, across the last couple of years. If you're confused about what the Chocolate Milk Gang is and you want to know the real answer, it's that a few years ago I happened to hear one particular Daniel Kitson show too soon after I'd resigned as board president of my wrestling team, and I got a bit overly attached to the idea of simpler times when people were still building their dream, before it all got out of hand. So I decided to obsessively research this term that appeared on John Oliver's Wikipedia page. It made sense at the time.

Having one link I can point to and say "the stuff we know about the what the Chocolate Milk Gang was - it's all in there" is a nice bonus for that spreadsheet, but it wasn't the original point of it. I mainly wanted to make that spreadsheet so I could get some clear data on 1) its membership list, and 2) its actual name. Hence the spreadsheet columns for both those things.

I’d consider most name that appear in my column for the membership list to be a significant Chocolate Milk Gang member. Though one membership list included Jimmy Carr, as part of the “gang” of comedians who hung out with Demetri Martin in Edinburgh. I’ve already addressed that in another post, but the upshot is that obviously Jimmy Carr’s not in the Chocolate Milk Gang. He's just a guy Demetri Martin probably hung out with in Edinburgh once, so that article grouped him in with the others.

Oh, and there’s the Russell Howard documentary that describes his "golden generation" of comedians, which included some key CMG people, but then moved on to his other comedy friends, like his roommates from the famous Bristol house, and Wil Hodgson. I don’t think the other Bristol guys (Richardson, Robins, Olver) count as CMG, since they were younger and weren't doing comedy during those earlier days when the CMG was formed. But Wil Hodgson performed in Edinburgh in 2004.

This of course gets complicated, because if we’re being very literal about defining the CMG as “people who got milkshakes at the restaurant called Favorit after late-night shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2002” – which was the original meaning of the name – then we’re leaving out some important people who turn up on most CMG membership lists, like Josie Long and Alun Cochrane. So I tend to use the term more broadly than that, to mean “people who were making a certain type of comedy in the 00s, a type that at the time was considered alternative because it was more gentle and indie-like than their more glamorous showbiz predecessors, and they crossed over with each other a lot, personally and professionally.” But that definition can make it difficult to get a clear list, as it basically boils down to: anyone who, while performing comedy from about 2002 to 2007, ever wore a t-shirt on stage, made a vaguely nerdy joke, and hung out with Daniel Kitson. And that can include quite a lot of people. It may well include Wil Hodgson. It could arguably include some of those Bristol guys (although I think “not being an alcoholic” was a fairly big part of the CMG ethos, which rules out Richardson and Robins). Pappy's Fun Club? Lots of people were around at the time.

I think of a few people as being CMG even if they’re mentioned in that spreadsheet list at all. I count Gavin Osborn as a bona fide central CMG member, even though he sure didn't perform in Edinburgh in 2002. He’s been involved in so many collaborations with other central CMG figures, and his work so embodies their ethos, that it doesn’t matter that he didn’t do all that stuff in Edinburgh. He was in the National Youth Theatre with John Oliver; his CMG connections pre-date Edinburgh 2002.

I think I’d count Isy Suttie as CMG, too. She was performing during prime CMG years, and doing that type of comedy that characterized the CMG (gentle, indie-like). She’s also collaborated with CMG people quite a bit. So she didn’t have to be literally drinking milkshakes with them in Edinburgh 2002 to count on their membership list (though it’s possible that she could have been drinking milkshakes with them in 2002, as she was definitely spending lots of time with at least one CMG member at the time, but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t in Edinburgh that year).

So I would say, probably, the main list of Chocolate Milk Gang members is: Daniel Kitson, David O'Doherty, John Oliver, Andy Zaltzman, Russell Howard, Josie Long, Gavin Osborn, Isy Suttie, Alun Cochrane, Bret McKenzie, Jermaine Clement, Demetri Martin. Maybe Taika Waititi? He got mentioned a couple of times but I'm not sure he did any actual CMG stuff, I think he was just a guy David O'Doherty liked.

So that's the membership list. Now I'd like to address the title, and issue with which is what prompted me to start on this spreadsheet in the first place. That issue being: Why has everyone let me spend nearly 2.5 years posting constantly about a British group called the Chocolate Milk Gang, without informing me that the term "chocolate milk" isn't used in Britain like it is in North America? That is an important piece of information for my research, which someone gave me for the first time last week, and it made me decide I should probably do a full-scale study into what this means.

I had wondered, before, why they got named after chocolate milk, when they were apparently drinking milkshakes. I assumed it was just other comedians making fun of them for immaturely not drinking alcohol, implying that they weren't just drinking milkshakes, they were drinking chocolate milk, the way children do.

Nope. It turns out that in Britain, when they say "chocolate milk", they're referring to a chocolate milkshake. When they say "chocolate milkshake", they are also referring to a chocolate milkshake. How do they refer to chocolate milk? Most of the time they don't, apparently it's not as common there. I think. Someone in England told me this, and I've tried looking it up further, but it's confusing. Chocolate milk definitely does exist over there, it just apparently isn't served in nearly every restaurant, the way I'm used to in Canada. So I guess they weren't using that term for the milk and started just using it to mean milkshakes? I don't know, Britain is a confusing place. They also refer to juices as smoothies.

That certainly explains why some comedians got named after chocolate milk, when they were drinking milkshakes. It also explains a bit of the occasional variation in the group's name - Russell Howard recently called them "The Milkshake Brigade", and in an interview in 2006, David O'Doherty said they were "The Milkshake Kids". If "chocolate milk" and "chocolate milkshakes" are interchangeable terms over there, then I guess they can be interchangeable in the gang's name, too.

But it's definitely supposed to be a gang. I don't know where this "brigade" stuff is coming from. David McSavage called them the "Chocolate Milk Brigade", as well. And, again, David O'Doherty once called them kids. What is that? I am not going to change my blog's tagline to saying I am preserving the legacy of the "Chocolate Milk Kids".

And then we have the differing stories about the name's origins. David O'Doherty claims that Glenn Wool coined the term "Chocolate Milk Gang". David McSavage claims that Andrew Maxwell coined it (though he also claims that the coined term is "Chocolate Milk Brigade). David O'Doherty does tell stories of Andrew Maxwell being one of those people who made fun of them for the general nerdiness that got them the CMG nickname, but in his story, Andrew Maxwell was mainly making fun of their bags, rather than their drinking habits.

The interesting thing about the above paragraph is that no one in it is British. I've tried to look up whether chocolate milk was a thing in Ireland in 2002, and whether Irish people said "chocolate milk" to mean "chocolate milkshake" like British people did. I can barely find information about British people doing it, so of course there wasn't anything on Irish differences. But they share a whole lot of cultural colloquialisms, so I'm going to assume it was probably similar.

Glenn Wool, however, is Canadian. And Canadians definitely do not conflate chocolate milk with chocolate milkshakes, even in 2002. So it's odd if he coined that term, calling them the Chocolate Milk Gang because they drank milkshakes. So maybe it did, in fact, originally come from Andrew Maxwell. I assume they both used that term, making it not too difficult to reconcile O'Doherty and McSavage's differing claims about whose term it was.

...I am tired. I think I probably have more to say about that spreadsheet, but I need to go to bed. I could save this as a draft and add more to it tomorrow, but I genuinely think I'll sleep better if I hit "post" on this now and feel like I've got something to share from an entire weekend spent on such a pointless project. I'll just make a new post later if I have more to say. It's all right. So that's what I've been up to. How's everyone else doing?

[alexandermcrow]

Into The Woods

A Fall in Time, long ago.

Our lives are shaped by the paths we take, whether through choice, or by chance.

Sometimes, this takes the form of the path not taken, sometimes that we follow. Often, both. The idea of how our lives might be utterly different, hinging on just one little thing, is a popular theme, whether in the written word or romantic comedy dramas.

Back in 2010, I was working for the civil service in a northern English city. I had already made some major changes to my life, going through a divorce and trying very hard to rediscover who I was—or perhaps who I thought I should be. But I was not content, nor was I as happy as I felt I should be.

I felt there was something missing, something crucial, a path which lay beyond my reach every morning as I would walk to work, a trail tantalisingly out of sight. I knew it was there, however.

At some point in the summer of 2010, I made up my mind to make some very big changes.

On the 14th of September 2010, a Tuesday, I caught a train just after dawn, after walking the short distance to the railway station, heavily burdened by backpack and shoulder bag, a walking staff I had harvested previously in my hand.

I headed north, initially to Edinburgh, then across to Glasgow, before going still further north.

That evening, after a long day of travel which, in turn, had followed an almost sleepless night before, I walked out from a request stop into the damp of recently-fallen rain, asking the train conductor to drop me off in what on my map looked a suitable location to spend a night or two. I could not walk that far, the weight of my pack was too great, and I was simply too exhausted.

That night, as the sky was beginning to darken, I set up my hammock between two gnarled oak trees, strung my tarp above, ate a quick dinner and fell asleep.

I was to stay out in those woods, alone, until December.

During that time, I cooked over flames every day, had to source, carry, and purify all my water, supplement my rations and supplies with wild food, from the land and from the sea.

Initially, I had intended to follow the coast further north, eventually ending up at my family’s home in Caithness for Christmas, but life didn’t work out quite as planned.

Instead, I built a shelter in those woods, exploring the area around me and immersing myself in all things natural. I slowed down, I listened and scented the air frequently, eventually understanding the language of the local wildlife and surprising myself when I could smell a deer ahead on the trail.

As far as human company went, I was alone the whole time, rarely seeing others apart from on distant boats, or the few occasions I bought some more supplies.

During the months I was out there, I kept a journal in a succession of small Moleskine notebooks, imagining myself the guardian of a tradition embraced by writers such as Chatwin, Hemingway, Laurie Lee, Thoreau and earlier adventurers and explorers.

I also handcrafted blog posts in the notebooks, then photographed the pages on my pre-smart phone, which I charged through a small solar panel. Following this, when the weather agreed, I would hike to find a spot of signal and slowly send them on to my sister, who patiently transcribed my scrawl, before uploading them to her website for others to read. 

A few years later, I shared some of this adventure by way of a now-private and dusty tumblr, uploading some of the thousands of photographs I had taken on my camera, and sharing snippets from those journals.

This year, 2024, I am returning to this adventure and sharing a lot more. Over on my Substack, I will be posting daily Notes and weekly summaries, sharing hundreds of photos, a few videos, and a lot of words and thoughts.

I have created this tumblr to specifically share a few posts and images and to say, if you like these, then there will be a lot more at The Crow's Nest letter. A lot of it is free and, as well as this adventure, I also share nature and place writing, discussion of ancestral skills and bushcraft, thoughts and feelings about those liminal spaces in our world, and also a weekly dose of fiction. I illustrate all of these with original photography or designs. No AI to be seen in that space...

Click below to follow along, I'd love to see you there and, if you do venture from this space to that, please say hello!

[latina4rmbx]

I Can Buy Myself Flowers...

Sometimes I need to figure my shit out. Sometimes I take so long to figure my shit out that it loses it's luster. I've been pondering this post for a bit and it's learned me a few things:

I need to charge my laptop. As I lay in bed, stroke of insight comes to me, but if I pick up my phone, I'm going straight to social media and there goes my insight. At least with my laptop I don't have social media embedded in any of the apps, I think, and I can get what I need to get off my chest.

I sometimes over/underestimate myself and it's to my own detriment

I was in an extreme emotional state yesterday with no real outlet. I had no reason to cry but I felt that ache or that hollow in my chest. I even asked a friend for a sad movie suggestion so I can get it out. I still haven't seen the movie

I know I've said this before, and I guess I will repeat it until I understand, you really don't realize the impact you make/have made on a persons life sometimes. If you're lucky, people will give you your flowers while you're still here

This is a great segue into the whole reason we're here...

Yesterday I posted a Meme that reads: Her: I ordered us new phone cases. The fucking phone cases (if I can add the pic here I will) then I wrote: Me as a GF. Let me just try to post this thing because 1. it was the catalyst and 2. I think it truly sums me up as a GF and 3. It's cute AF. Take in the entire post lol

An ex-boyfriend reaches out to me to make a joke about the phone cases.

His joke: "This was us but I had more ass than you."

In case you were wondering what my response was...this is the lead up to the crux of this AM post. From here on out I'm going to refer to him as Guy. Another person comes into play and I'll call them Man.

Me: But that's a real message I sent to a real man who probably has more ass than I do too 😂 I haven't checked it out enough. We haven't done sexy time yet 😃

Guy: Whaaaaaat (I didn't count the A's but there were quite a few)

Me: Stop it

Guy: This is real?! Not a drill ?!?

A little more chatting about Man

Guy: Ok well he gets you. That's important

Here is where the mood changes. Up to this point we were laughing, well Guy was laughing at my antics (because I be antic-ing)

Me: Well we don't see each other much cuz life be lifin' the shit out of us but it's good lol. Thanks for inquiring about the drills.

Side Note: He speaks to me in voice note after a bit so I'll have to transcribe. I'll do it verbatim but I KNOW I will cry.

Guy: Good speaking to you again. Instead of us, just sending funny videos to each other... Though I like that too.

Me: Thank you for being everything.

Me: I'm really lucky I met you Guy. I hope you know that. Good or bad you always have a special place in my heart

Guy: Can I say: Ditto. One day I'll be able to put into words what our time together has meant and always meant to me

Me: It's not necessary. I appreciate it anyway

Guy: Well I think people need to get their flowers!!!!

See the correlation to the title now?

Me: I do too & life is shorter than we realize.

Here's where his voice notes start. There are only 2 but each is about a min long so it may take some time (& Coffee) to transcribe. I did not respond to him in VN form. As a matter of fact the conversation between him and I's portion will end with my first response, then I'll move on to something else. It'll make sense

VN1: No, I I I mean that in all truthfulness. Uhm, people deserve their flowers cause you never know when somebody's gonna go or somebody saying I'm never going to talk to you ever again. So, No I wanted to always tell you thank you because I wasn't always uhm I dunno. I guess life gives you perspective once you get some distance and time. I'm not trying to speak deep or like philosophical. It's just one of those things where you know. I remember being young. I remember, you know, being infatuated with you and not knowing how to handle that and also not knowing how to handle when I had unfinished business or you know uhm. There were so many things I was learning on the fly. It's like flying a plane and fixing the wing while you're flying it. I should've just landed the plane and learned my lesson.

VN2: But even when I was flying the plane, so to speak, or hanging out with you uhm, I always wanted to thank you. I mean, you know, there were times that, you know, I really made you feel like shit and I'm sorry. And there's times there, you know, where you and I were at odds for whatever reason, and you know. I wasn't always great, you know. I learned a lot from you. I learned about forgiveness, and I learned about, you know, about how to truly love somebody or what to have when you truly love somebody. Or that so much, that that that our multiple interactions have taught me. From the beginning all the way to the last one. And it was so fun in a weird way to have you in my apartment that day when we were saying good bye to T. And that was kinda like uh, if this was a sitcom, and that was the last episode, it'd be a good one.

Me: The one where we said good bye

If you didn't get it, my response is a nod to ye olde show "Friends."

Here's where it gets interesting/sad, I was crying typing that response to Guy. However, I went to the counsel, which is 2 people. 1 who knows him and one who doesn't. I'm going to only share the conversation with the one who doesn't know him because it was sweet, our back and forth. For the sake of consistency they will be dubbed, C1 (LOL - is that consistent?). Ok, ok, Lady. She'll be dubbed Lady. As in, I spoke to the Lady

Me: Listen to this. It's my ex boyfriend & THIS made me cry.

Lady: Awww O

Me: You know how you feel like you didn't mean anything to someone and then you find out you meant everything. This did it for me. Bad timing. But when the timing was right...It was too late. He broke up with his GF and I had broken up with *CENSORED*. We were ripe for the picking but it didn't feel...the same.

Lady: Yes I now the feeling

Lady: At least you now know you meant something big to him

Me: Yeah. It's comforting

Me: I always wondered if I was doing love wrong

That's it. Not the end of the conversation but the point that he was helping me with, without even being aware. I always wondered if I was doing love wrong. Craziness because some people never think of love in terms of something to consider or work on, it's just what they feel or do. But what does that mean? To feel love. What does it mean to DO love? You know.

Lady: I don't think you've ever done love wrong. Just was given to the wrong people at the wrong time because as a friend you are very loveable and you're giving, attentive

Me: Thank you

Me: I had to work on the friendship love too

Lady: No need to thank me for the truth

Me: I know I used to do friendship wrong

Lady: Well I'm glad I get the best of you ❤️❤️

That was literally the end of hers and I's conversation.

In the other conversation I mention feeling validated. I think this is the part that kept me up half the night. Why did I need him or anyone to validate me? Then it clicked, I value his opinion of me. He's one of the very few people who can tell me "O, it's not a good look." He does it with such a pure and true heart. It doesn't hurt when he's putting me in my place. Again, I'm speaking as a friend here, not as a lover. That ship has sailed a long time ago. Two years ago, when we reconnected through mutual heartbreak, solidified it.

We were GREAT as lovers and being in love but we're sooooo much better as champions for each other. We cheer each other one from the sidelines. I guess that's what happens when time and distance give us perspective.

Thank you readers for reading. I truly appreciate you taking any moment out of your day to read through my posts.

I can buy myself flowers...But why would I have to?

XOXO

Thanks for Reading

[leatherbookmark]

@labyrynth, sorry it’s a separate post! ;;

i found an article in japanese about this conference; it’s said to include “20 primary, middle and high school students”. it also describes the moment -- there’s a video of this meeting, but it’s over an hour long and i’m too lazy to find the exact moment, so i’ll just have to trust that the japanese article transcribed the thing correctly. i’ll try to roughly translate the bit below.

One male student had asked, “Mr Narita, you’ve often said “Old people, kill yourselves” during re:hack (the name of the meeting). I think it would be better if they left/departed (退散). And, theoretically, if one was to make a system where the elderly 自動でいなくなる (=die automatically/on their own=a gentler way of saying “commit suicide”, i assume), how would you do it? For example, with laws or something like that?”

To that, Mr Narita had said, “’How to do it’, well, I’m thinking it’s quite possible it’s how the future society will look like. There are movies that picture this sort of society, they’re a bit like SF movies. Everybody gets a timer placed in their arm when they’re born, and after a couple of decades, this timer activates and they automatically die. In this society, everyone is equal and has a set lifespan, and once the time comes, they die.”

Mr Narita then continues, bringing up another movie: “There’s another movie that shows another kind of society. It’s named Sommer-something and it’s about a mysterious fictional community. In this community, once a person reaches a certain age, they go up to the top of a cliff and jump off.“

After describing the two movies to the children, Mr Narita added, “It seems that settlements like this fictional community have existed in the past. So it is possible to imagine such a society, isn’t it? It’s difficult to say whether it’s a good or a bad thing. If you think it’s a good thing, I think you could work hard to create such a society.”

Mr Narita explained [after the student’s question] that “I didn’t tell the elderly to kill themselves, but I did say that seppuku is the quickest way to reform social security”. The student who asked the question regarding Mr Narita’s previous statements seemed somewhat confused. The movies Mr Narita used as an example were probably “In Time” and “Midsommar”. He introduced the works of fiction, but left it to the children to determine their moral value [lit. whether they’re good or bad]. (<-- this paragraph seems to be from another article)

i tried to sift through the video to find that exact moment, but i can’t atm, which is kinda weird i admit! this tweet has screenshots.

idk what to say about this, tbh! i feel like if it was any other situation i’d probably have more of an opinion, but at this point “GRAPHICALLY! and IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!” is like. my least concern (although i’m not sure if what he said can be called ‘graphic’, i’d say ‘graphic’ is like, describing what happens to the body as it hits the ground, but idk!)

but also, yeah, it’s just “.....seriously guys” but people just Love to find the Bad Guys to point at, even if it makes them look absolutely ridiculous and pointlessly cruel in result. i bet if the article was from another perspective, one that sympathizes with the professor’s arguments and supports them, and listed all the ways in which the elderly are Bad (they might be landlords! they might be bigots! they might be cruel to their children/grandchildren! etc!), they’d be singing a totally different song. but this time it’s Actually This Whole Fields Of Study Produces Heartless Demons. 👍 aye bro

[cyberdragoninfinity]

hey, do you have any advice on how to like... get into duel links late, or do you know anyone who does? i played the game for a bit at launch but stopped bc reasons, but some of the stuff ive seen people talking about since then of the story of the game itself and such seems really interesting... but it seems like a lot of that stuff has been stuff that played out in events which im assuming are not available anymore

god i wish I could tell you there's some good concrete youtube videos that go over the whole timeline and break down the lore and such but!! there really ISN'T. AND IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING. There's some videos that read over some of the conversations from more recent events/talking about VRAINs' world potential specifically, but there's rly nothing broad because apparently no youtuber is keeping track of this 🥴 UGH.

But you're right, Duel Links "lore" as it were is primarily sprinkled into character unlock events, and after those run twice you can't just pull them up and play them again. However there are some tumblrs I've found that do a pretty good job archiving the dialogue from those events/some of the screenshots from them! Which unfortunately as it is rn is kind of the best it can get.

Thewittyphantom's duel links tag is tremendously valuable to me when I need to go read over old event conversations from stuff I missed/played so long ago I don't really remember. Lots and lots of transcribed cutscenes and some screenshots.

fortuneangel's duel links tag is also a good resource for older events. Lots of screenshots of conversations and some reflections on plot development!!

again, there unfortunately isn't really any concrete laid out timeline for all of this that I know has been made (I've been trying to comment on and point out any new lore developments that happen in events as they happen, but even I don't really have a good grasp on what lore got relied before I started playing in 2021), so if you want to really dig deep into it What All is Going On you do have to sort through some old event conversations and sniff around for any reddit or tumblr posts of people talking about it. As for getting back into the game itself, that part isn't too too hard!! If you're willing to learn any new summoning mechanics that have debuted since you last played, at least keeping up with the current events and progressing through ingame duels isn't really gatekept at all, you can pick it back up and play pretty easy at any time!

I've also noticed, for as insane as the lore gets, whenever new "plot relevant bits" drop, the characters do make a bit of a point of mentioning offhand things we learned last time, presumably to help the audience recap it, or help new players follow along without too much trouble! So that's useful at least. It's a bit like how characters in the show(s) will discuss things that happened in the last episode pretty frequently. At the end of the day the lore in Duel Links is secondary to Konami Wanting You to Play Yugioh the Card Game, so they want new and returning players to have an easy time figuring out at least the light gist of what's going on. broadly speaking.

ANYWAY I hope at least some of that is useful? :0c If anyone else has any good reddit posts that go over the DL lore or any other useful resources, drop 'em in the replies below! Good luck out there!

[plu-mes16]

"Creative living is any life that you live, where your decisions are based more strongly on your curiosity than your fear. And if you consistently, habitually, routinely, at every sort of intersection and decision in your life, make decisions that are based on curiosity rather than fear, then you will be engaging with creativity. Your life itself will sort of become a work of art, if you could consistently live that way."

I heard this sound on tiktok today. It's really interesting how tiktok is something we quote nowadays, though I guess that it does make sense, seen as it is-though questionable-a source of genuine media. In a way, some tiktok creators have managed to recreate the feel of a tumblr post, with image and sound. Perhaps not quite though, tumblr was indeed a unique platform, I miss it (it's not the same anymore). So I heard this sound on tiktok-and yes I did transcribe it word for word-and at first I didn't think much of it. In fact, I scrolled down a few more videos before I paused. The words whispered in my mind and something felt off. My curiosity was piqued. I went back.

It's interesting, truly, how sometimes we do things so unconsciously and routinely, that we lose-or perhaps forget-why we do them in the first place. And this got me thinking.

And I realised, a little to my dismay, that the reason I have not felt fulfilled in a while is because I forgot. I forgot not to be afraid. I think that somewhere along the road, I fell. And I called myself stupid, and weak, and told myself that I wasn't enough. And maybe someone else backed me up on it. Actually I know someone did. But that's beyond the point. Because I let them. And somewhere along the way I believed it. And I got scared. So I played it safe. I think on the timeline of things, this would have been around two years ago. A long time to be lost when the passing of it keeps you awake at night.

I've wondered what I did wrong, or perhaps differently. I concluded, begrudgingly, that perhaps I just wasn't good enough. That I was scared because I had reason to be.

But I forgot what had driven me up until that point, what had made me who I am.

Some people live for hope, others out of spite perhaps. I had feared failure my whole life until one day I didn't. Because I convinced myself that I wouldn't fail, and that if I did, I would just go onto the next thing. The world doesn't end with one failure.

But lately I've been scared again. Not of failing, but of losing this routine. This monotonous, safe and boring life I've built. It's safe, it's quiet. I've been shielding myself from reasons to be scared, because life has been throwing them at me lately, like hot cakes. And I've had no choice but to gobble them up. Why would I create more reasons for myself to be anxious, afraid?

So I didn't.

But this sound made sense to me. This is what I should be doing. This is a little piece that the old me-yes I sound dramatic bear with me-would never relinquish.

The girl who always gave herself her best chance, the girl who switched schools left and right and fed herself books and science and all the knowledge she could gather. The girl who looked up at the sky because she was too afraid to miss something. I now notice that I look down a lot. I do.

She travelled across the ocean, away from everything she'd ever known, at 17. Had the worst year of her life and yet she didn't go back, though she would have been safer. She kept going, she pushed and pushed and pushed. I've stopped moving at some point. And now I'm stagnating.

And it hurts.

I want to live creatively. I want to reach out to the sky again and leap. I want to leap and not worry about whether I will fall.

(appreciate the dramatic gif pls)

I need to go on.

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

J.R.R. Tolkien reads from The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, 1952

This is J.R.R. Tolkien reading—and singing!—excerpts from The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, and it is exactly as amazing as it sounds. George Sayer, a friend of Tolkien’s, helped make the recordings while Tolkien was visiting him in August 1952, two years before The Lord of the Rings was published. (It doesn’t have that information under the youtube videos, but I was able to find out the context from Tolkien Gateway and the Tolkien Library.) These are so wonderful and I’m so glad they exist! It’s absolutely delightful to hear the Professor reading his own stories. You have not lived until you have heard Tolkien’s Gollum impression, or his Treebeard voice, or him speaking in Elvish...not to mention reading The Ride of the Rohirrim! Yes, he actually recorded that and it is literally the best thing ever. It’s amazing to listen to him reciting the Song of Beren and L��thien (just like Strider told it to the hobbits!), and everything else, and I’m so, so, so glad that these recordings were made. This is a treasure trove! I want more people to know about this! 

Excerpt from Riddles in the Dark  The Road Goes Ever On Upon the Hearth the Fire is Red  Snow-white! Snow-white! O Lady Clear! The Bath Song Farewell We Call to Hearth and Hall! Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! The Man in the Moon Stayed Up Too Late The Fall of Gil-galad The Song Of Beren And Lúthien The Stone Troll A Elbereth Gilthoniel The Song of Durin The Song of Nimrodel When evening in the Shire was grey Gandalf's Song of Lórien Lament for Boromir The Long List of the Ents Treebeard’s Song The Ent and the Entwife Bregalad’s Song The Ents’ Marching Song Where now the horse and the rider? Gollum’s fish song Oliphaunt Excerpt from Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit Lament for Théoden Excerpt from The Ride of the Rohirrim Song of the Mounds of Mundburg Excerpt from Mount Doom Sing now, ye people of the Tower of Anor Namárië

Finally, this is George Sayer’s note on the recordings, which I transcribed from this radio broadcast because I thought others would like to read it. 

George Sayer writes: “This record is based on a tape recording that Tolkien made when he was staying in my house in northern Worcestershire. It was in August 1952. For the whole of that summer he had been depressed because The Lord of the Rings, the book on which he had worked for fourteen years, had been refused by publishers, so that he had almost given up hope of ever seeing it in print. But the fact that they had returned it made it possible for my wife Moira and I to borrow the only complete typescript and become, with our friend C.S. Lewis, about the first of passionately enthusiastic Tolkien fans. There arose the question of how to return it to its author. Since it could not, of course, be trusted to the post, I wrote to ask when he would be at home in Oxford for me to deliver it. His reply indicated that he would be quite on his own in the second half of August, and perhaps even rather lonely, and we therefore invited him to come to more than to pick up the typescript, and to stay for a few days. “It was easy to entertain him by day. He and I tramped the Malvern Hills, which he had often seen during his boyhood in Birmingham, or from his brother’s house on the other side of the Seven River Valley. He lived the book as we walked, sometimes comparing parts of the hills with, for instance, the White Mountains of Gondor. We drove to the Black Mountains on the borders of Wales, picked billberries, and climbed through the heather there. We picnicked on bread and cheese and apples, and washed them down with perry, beer or cider. When we saw signs of industrial pollution, he talked of orcs and orcery. At home, he helped me to garden. Characteristically, what he liked most was to cultivate a very small area—say a square yard—extremely well. “To entertain him in the evening I produced a tape recorder, a solid early Ferrograph that is still going strong. He had never seen one before, and said whimsically that he ought to cast out any devil that might be in it by recording a prayer, the Lord’s Prayer, in Gothic—one of the extinct languages of which he was a master. He was delighted when I played it back to him, and asked if he might record some of the poems in The Lord of the Rings to find out how they sounded to other people. The more he recorded, the more he enjoyed recording, and the more his literary self-confidence grew. When he had finished the poems, one of us said, ‘Record for us the riddle scene from The Hobbit!’ and we sat spellbound for almost half an hour while he did. I then asked him to record what he thought one of the best pieces of prose in The Lord of the Rings, and he recorded part of The Ride of the Rohirrim. 

“‘Surely you know that’s really good?’ I asked, after playing it back. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It’s good. This machine has made me believe in it again. But how am I to get it published?’ I thought of what I myself might do in the same difficulty. ‘Haven’t you an old pupil in publishing who might like it for its own sake, and therefore be willing to take the risk?’ ‘There’s only Rayner Unwin,’ he replied, after a pause. ‘Then send it to Rayner Unwin personally!’ And he did. And the result was that even during his lifetime, over 3 million copies were sold. When he got back to Oxford, Tolkien wrote to thank us for having him—a letter in Elvish that is one of my most valued posessions.”

[ineffably-human]

So uh, speaking of leaks... (part 1)

On a Discord server, @kyrilu pointed out two more Vimeo links of people reading for Shadows scenes in s4. I'm posting them with permission. Unlike the other leak provided, these are still up and able to be viewed by whoever. (Please don't bother the people who auditioned, or anyone in the Shadows cast/crew, or do anything that could lead to these getting a takedown like the other leak apparently did.)

I'll be transcribing the first under the cut and giving my thoughts, just to keep things separate and clear, but I'll be doing this for the second one as soon as this one is out and uh. The second one feels like Nandermo gold to me. Like it doesn't have the kind of obvious sitcom 'wham' of the earlier leak but it gives me all the feelings.

I'm going to reference 'Reader' for person reading the other lines and 'Actor' for the person screen testing since it's not always clear who the reader is reading for when there are more than two people in the scene. I'll speculate/give a name of what character it seems to be when I can.

Transcript of the first link:

READER (SEAN): Woah! You guys look freaking awesome. I feel underdressed.

ACTOR (HEADMASTER WARREN): Oh nonsense, Sean, you always look like a class act. Hello! (indicates self) Jim Warren.

READER (SEAN): Speaking of class act...

ACTOR: Oh, hello! This must be Colin, hello young man! It's a pleasure.

READER (COLIN): It is my great pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir. And guess what?

ACTOR: What's that?

READER (COLIN): I'm a remarkably smart lad who can sing and dance, I never watch YouTube, I don't hammer holes in walls with a hammer, so I'd say there's nothing weird about me.

ACTOR: Well, that's just great! And I look forward to getting to know you better, but right now, how 'bout you give me a moment to talk to your parents and get to know them a little bit?

READER (COLIN): Okay, fine, sir! Also, I don't sleep in a wooden box and I never have.

ACTOR: (smiles and nods nervously, pause) ...So! Forgive me for not being fully up to speed here, but who exactly are the parents?

READER (?): When I snap my fingers, you will enter a trance where you will hear nothing and see nothing. When I snap once more, you will return to normal consciousness remembering nothing of this pause. (snaps, beat, snaps again - clearly they have some kind of dialogue here independent of the lines the actor needs to audition)

READER (Nadja): We are Cousin Colin's parents! Hello, I'm Nadja.

READER (?): Yes, and I'm Matthew.

ACTOR: Well, Nadja and Matthew, I'd like to ask you a few questions about yourselves and Colin.

READER (Nadja): We can do that because we are Colin's parents.

READER (?): Yes! We had relations for him to exist. We still have relations to this day, even if just for pleasure. And I am Matthew.

ACTOR: (beat) Okay, great! Nice to...meet you, Matthew. So is...everybody gonna stay for this next part? Usually it's only the paren- (another snap, beat, another snap - rehypnotized for some more dialogue not included in the video) -parents who do the interview.

READER (?): Yes, everyone will stay. We consider everyone here like members of the family.

ACTOR: Okay, then! One big happy family! We like that. Well, let's dive in then... So, how old is Colin?

READER (?): (unclear how many people are talking at once but I hope it's literally every single one of them) Uhm, four - nineteen - I mean - twelve, what are y- forty-two - sixteen - when - he's nine. Nine.

ACTOR: (long bewildered pause) ...Ah.

So uh, I love every single thing about this. I can't meta too hard about it because it's more straight-up plot but some stray observations:

- Aww, they're trying to get Colin into a good private school! Instead of just homeschooling him or something, too, maybe they want to socialize him? Makes sense with the whole 'can he become an interesting person and not an energy vampire' thing.

- I find "we are Cousin Colin's parents" hilarious and I can't explain why, it's just beautiful in its simplicity.

- Colin's clearly gonna do some rapid aging, but in stages. Laszlo taught him music because of course he did, also I love every part of the very specific denial he does.

- Sean is there! Is Sean there the whole time?? Is he there for the hypnosis?? Did Sean meet baby Colin and then kid Colin and did they have to hypnotize him multiple times, or is he aware of the supernatural stuff at this point and along for the ride? I really really want him to be in on things as the Stu of the group, just their human friend who everyone likes so he hangs out and smiles and nods at the proceedings.

- The most obvious question, who is 'Matthew'? The very specific 'yes we totally have sex' stuff makes me think it's not Laszlo (though the meta of the name specifically being 'Matthew' is funny). The speech patterns make me think it's Nandor. But none of them have ever gone by an alias in day to day stuff before, or worried a name like 'Nandor' sounds too European or unusual. I don't think this is a new character though, so my money is on Nandor more than Laszlo/Guillermo/someone else.

- "Yes, everyone will stay. We consider everyone here like members of the family." I hope Guillermo is there. I hope Sean is there. I hope that whatever bickering they inevitably had to decide that everyone needed to stay in the room, they absolutely mean it when they say that line.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s Talk: Jimin’s & Tae’s confessions (RUN Episode 141)

by Admin 1

Originally, I planned on writing a summary or vmin cut of the RUN episode but then I transcribed Jimin’s and Tae’s confessions and it got me thinking, and now here we are. Instead of a summary here are some of my musings and thoughts about their confessions and how they are right in line with things they’ve said in the past, and even quite recently, as well as how it fits with something Namjoon said in 2020 about them as well. I hope this will at least be somewhat interesting.

So, first, let’s look at Jimin’s confession, since this is longer and was first in the episode:

Jimin’s Confession

Jimin: Sometimes I am blunt. I’m like that at times. 

Na PD: Taehyung, has Jimin ever said anything bluntly to you?

Tae: Nowadays, he's really putting in effort to fix that to the point where it rarely happens anymore. Jimin tends to be very hard on himself, which also broke our hearts to see. 

Na PD: So, he gets stressed from himself, then gets mad at himself...

Tae: Then gets mad at himself.

Na PD: ...and then he blurts remarks.

(here it was a bit unclear (for me at least) which of the two said which line so I’m sorry if I mixed them up)

Jimin: It’s something I want to be forgiven for.

Tae: But Jiminie being blunt and me being blunt is completely different. Jimin has a kind hearted nature on the regular.

Na PD: Right.

Jimin: Are you usually not like that?

Tae: I’m, well...

The other members stop Tae, since it’s not time for his confession, and instead the question is posed by JK if they forgive Jimin to which everyone says yes.

Tae: You’re innately kind at heart. stretches out hand for handshake.

Jimin: Thank you. Jimin thinks (?) Tae might be going for a fist bump since he gives him his fist instead, which Tae still takes and shakes.

The first thing about this that caught my attention, as well as one of our anons, was the fact that instead of choosing literally any of the other members, Na PD turned to Tae and asked him to verify if something like that (as in Jimin being blunt) ever happened toward him. You could say we’re thinking too much here, interpreting too much into it, and yet it doesn’t change the fact that he chose to ask Tae. Of course it could be because he said at the start of the program that he feels closest to Tae since he heard about him from two of his Wooga squad friends, but it might’ve just as well been because he watched the members for a while already at that point (since they’d already been filming a few hours) and perhaps he did notice how Tae and Jimin naturally gravitate toward each other, have this special bond? Other people who worked with them in the past noticed it, so why wouldn’t he?

There’s actually moment where Jimin turns and says Taehyungie like he wants to ask him something or say something to him which isn’t in the subs and the members don’t notice it either so Jimin never got to actually say whatever he wanted to say. Also, we’ve all seen how Tae and Jimin behaved during the game in the previous episode, how happy, smiley and giggly they were while being silly together.

Then the actual confession itself, Jimin saying that he can be blunt at times, toward others but also especially toward himself. We’ve heard many times from Jimin about how much of a perfectionist he is, how he can get mad at himself for mistakes, how he sometimes speaks without thinking which can end up a bit mean/blunt, and now he’d like to be forgiven for it.

This actually reminded me of something he said to Tae before:

FESTA 2020 from 42:56 min onward (context - the question was: have you felt disappointed in or sorry to the member to your right?):

Jimin: For Taehyung I should say if I compare those two feelings to him I was more hurt than sorry. Over time, it was reversed. Now I don’t feel slighted. I’m more sorry about things. Back then we were buddies so we had a lot of disagreements or didn’t admit that we were wrong. So I felt disappointed about little things. Now he listens to me well so I feel sorry that I talked to him harshly and every little thing.

The last line especially sticks out to me. I know there’s some language nuance here that got lost in translation which wisha mentioned when the FESTA 2020 video was posted (but is now gone since her twt was suspended), and yet it doesn’t change that fact that it fits with Jimin’s confession, how he was harsh to Tae in the past but now feels sorry for it, and with what Tae said, that Jimin is now making an effort to fix that behavior, to not be so blunt/harsh anymore.

It’s so interesting to me to see these mentions of what could be seen as character flaws over the years, things that make them inherently human. Also it fits with what we know about the evolution of vmin, how they used to have disagreements, have issues with proper communication but over time worked on it, got better at it to the point where they can now understand each other by just looking into each other’s eyes, and Tae’s words about Jimin, how he’s an angel, the warmest person he ever met, and now how he has a kind hearted nature, therefore the bluntness is not taking away from it in any way.

There was also something about this in Jimin’s solo RollingStone interview which caught my attention:

(btw, if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend reading the main and solo RollingStone interviews because they are really, really good!)

Taehyung’s confession

Tae: Compared to the other members, I’m very lazy. Once I’ve set my mind on something, to get that into action, it takes me up to 2 months. I’m start working out, then quit. I’ve quit projects midway too. I’m the type where if I’m not feeling it, I don’t do it. There are times when I feel sorry to the members. 

Someone (I can’t pinpoint the voice): How would be summarize this?

Jimin: You’d usually call this as “irresponsible”. He lacks responsibility,

Tae: I’m still an amateur. 

Na PD: “I lack responsibility and am lazy”. Is that how we can understand it?

Tae: Yes.

Jimin: To be honest, we don’t think it’s to that extent, but if that’s what he feels... we forgive him.

Something I love about what Jimin said (in far fewer words than I will use because you know me, I can’t keep myself short) is that he essentially did two things at once, being: he assured Tae (and the viewers) that him and the members think differently, don’t see it as severely as Tae does himself, and then he also acknowledged the validity of Tae’s words, that even if Jimin doesn’t agree with him, Jimin knows that those feelings are still valid, that that’s what Tae feels and that, at the end of the day, even if the members don’t agree, they can’t change Tae’s mind, can’t force him into seeing things differently. The only person who can do that is Tae himself, and that’s okay. Jimin and the other members will still quietly support and reassure him when needed until he’ll “fix” this weakness, if that is something he wants to do.

This really shows how in tune with Tae Jimin is, but also how emotionally intelligent he is. Beautiful. Also, notice how Jimin said that without being asked to do so, which will come into play again a little later in this post and why I point it out specifically again.

Listening (or rather reading along) as Tae said that, it reminded me of something he said a few months ago:

Taehyung BE-hind Story Interview from 5:49 min onward:

Q: How do you cope when it’s hard to work/with these situations?

Tae: I’m very true to my emotions so uh...if I can’t write the songs or can’t come up with a title I just don’t. Like now! 

Yoongi: That’s actually the best way. 

Tae: I just don’t write it like how I’m doing it now, and I don’t want to be pressured to create something against my will. 

Yoongi: It’s not like you have to finish a song within a day or two? 

Tae: Right! So I’ve been taking some rest for about four months now. Now that I’m resting for four months... 

Yoongi: Wasn’t your mixtape supposed to be out last year? 

Tae: The mixtape that was supposed to happen last year was postponed. I should be in a state full of emotions right now, but I haven’t reached it yet. It’s like...my first mixtape so I want to feel that satisfaction when I release it whenever that time will be. 

Yoongi: That’s why you have to finish the whole thing while you’re at it... 

Tae: Yes. 

Yoongi: ...or else it takes too long to finish it. So, you have to finish it within that period. 

 Tae: Right. 

Yoongi: I’m guessing you might’ve missed the time.

The thing though is that what Tae said, that if he doesn’t feel it, he won’t do it/finish it, that just shows how much of an artist he is, how much his art truly matters to him, and how important it is to him that his art, in this case his music, turns out just the way he wants it to or else he won’t finish it or release it. And while Tae might call this “irresponsible”, I don’t think it’s that in this case, or that it’s a sign of laziness either, though just like Jimin, I don’t want to invalidate his feelings either. All I want to bring across is how in the context of his music, this isn’t a weakness or flaw, even if it might seem like it, especially in their line of work with deadlines, schedules and plans made weeks and months in advance where, usually, you can’t just take a four month break.

So, in that regard, I can understand how it can feel like a flaw to him, make him feel guilty about it and sorry to the members who in this case might rely on him to get something done on time and he might not do it, or not without forcing himself to do it or being dissatisfied, you know what I mean?

Earlier today Tae was on weverse and answered a few questions about his mixtape (though I have a feeling it really is time for ARMY to stop asking him about it and just let him breath) where he said that even though he got a song from someone and made ten himself, even with that break he took according to his BE interview, the songs just aren’t what he wanted them to be and thus he decided to start again.

Some could say it’s again a case of him being irresponsible the way he characterized it during the RUN episode, that even though he said last year he was almost done and would release it soon it ended up being postponed and now he started over again, but once again I think it just shows how very important his music is to him, and therefore I’d actually call it a strength. It shows how valuable his artistic expression is to him, to create music the way he wants to, at his own pace, and only release it once he feels it’s right.

One more thing, just like I said in the intro of this post, Jimin and Tae jumping in to assure the other, reminded me of something Namjoon said during his Map of the Soul : 7 vlive last year:

The context is a little different, but I think it’s still valid here as well, how Tae and Jimin made excuses for each other, how Tae immediately softened how harsh Jimin’s own words about himself might come across, assured both us and Jimin that really he has a kind heart despite this weakness, and then also Jimin by saying that things aren’t as bad as Tae makes them seem either. It’s interesting to really see something play out in a manner similar to what another member said about them based on having been with Jimin and Tae for the last nearly ten years.

Whoever claims that BTS just play out concepts or “plots” and characters given to them by the company really should just take a seat and stop. I mean, sure they all have a sort of persona they embody in front of the camera, at least to a certain degree, they’ve spoken about that numerous times, but they are still humans with flaws and their own dynamics between each other away from the cameras which, logically, also come across on camera as well, not always but enough for us to pick up on it. And in this case, with these confessions during RUN, we saw something that we previously only really heard about happen right in front of us proving (not that they have to prove anything to us, of course, we should simply trust them and what they tell us) that it really is that way.

Here’s the anon I mentioned earlier:

From anon: It might just be me lol but I think rather than Jimin forgetting he's being filmed for a show (with all those members of staff as onlookers as well) and blowing a kiss at Tae / blowing on Tae's chest, he probably just noticed a tiny bit of lint or fluff on Tae's cardigan or mic and decided to blow it off... Of course, if that was the case, that still reveals their high level of intimacy and the fact that even when interacting infront of strangers they seem to be unable to stop showing exactly how tuned into each other they are... I don't think it's a coincidence that Na PD chose to ask Tae, of all the members, to verify Jimin's statement about his flaw. He was probably observing them all day and noticed how particularly close they were, even amongst all the extremely close members.

[felikatze]

gosh overthink huh. do you mind writing about cheese man, maybe? could be about anything! i love him a Whole Lot and i just.... mmmmm chesed aaaaaaaahhhhhhhHhhhhhhh

OURGH THE CHEESE MAN. SO MUCH

this post is Late bcuz word empty and getting distracted by things such as exams, video games, driving, and semi regularly going to sleep at 8pm. anyway

I prepared this one in a libreoffice doc this time hooray for structuring

My main thesis for Chesed as briefly touched upon in my netzach post was this: "Activist Burnout."

i actually went wayyy overboard on uh. just lobcorp itself without LoR, so I'm cutting this particular post off with his Core Supression so I actually post something. But. I do have more. Also I feel like this is mainly recap instead of digging but you may like it anyway? Maybe? Dunno.

"I'm just gonna rewatch his LobCorp scenes to refresh my memory," I said, making this post entirely about LobCorp

The lovely brainworms anon even put this into context of Lobcorp's main symbolism, which I have transcribed from an eaten ask for reading ease.

"It makes sense as well based on the Kabballah, (Disclaimer: I am no expert on the subject matter and am only using what knowledge I've managed to scour on the internet.) Chesed is supposedly the Sephirah of loving kindness whose mercy and compassion balanced out by Geburah the supposed Sephiroth of strength and justice. The two of them needing each other to balance each other out lest  they each go too far. Geburah by going on a rampage and wanting to punish the abnormalities even at the cost of employees. And Chesed as you said, falling into despair, guilt, and activist burnout by putting the blame for things way outside his control onto himself."

Thank you brainworms anon, you are very smart. Though because neither of us are jewish (which i presume from your disclaimer) I'm not the person to go in depth on that particular aspect, but rather take this as confirmation that a major aspect for Chesed is compassion, and an overabundance of it.

Now then, what is activist burnout? A definition I could find courtesy of alive magazine was “when long-term activism-related stressors deteriorate activists’ physical or emotional health or sense of connectedness to their movements, impacting their effectiveness or abilities to remain engaged.”

Another source lists symptoms as

"Exhaustion: Feeling emotionally and physically drained

Cynicism: Having negative associations with the work that once seemed so important

Inefficacy: Doubting self-worth and lack of activist achievement"

The first even notes that prolonged trauma in these environments can even lead to PTSD.

So, why am I saying specifically activist burnout, and not regular burnout?

Because Carmen's crew were activists, easy. Daniel came from a place of privilege as a citizen of a Nest, but recognized the unfair conditions of the world around him and sought to change them for the better through Carmen's great project. The setting of the City and associated Wings is once again a potent satire of the most extreme capitalistic society possible, thereby drawing attention to how the less murdery version affects us in the current day. Of course they're activists.

However, by the time of LobCorp proper, we see all these aforementioned traits. We can see how tired he is from his design alone, as the only Sephirah with bags under his eyes, and always clinging to a cup of coffee to get started in the day.

For the second point, from his second story section onward it becomes clear that he is disillusioned with LobCorp's work. He has an attitude of "why bother wasting effort being mean when it'll be over soon enough" from Chesed's very first interaction with X. He says himself that he's feigning niceness though; he's utterly distanced himself from everything, seeing all of it as "wasted effort" because this cup of coffee went cold a long time ago.

He doesn't see any worth in what he's doing. At all. It seems like he has really low expectations for everything, and acts accordingly. This includes the manager; only when they actually fulfill his tasks does he seem pleasently suprised. In his third interaction, he mocks Angela's meaningless speech of "contributing to something better"

Now the last point is where we get spicy. "I hadn't even developed a taste for coffee back then. Should I say I developed that taste after learning the bitterness of life?"

From flashbacks, we see that during the early days, Chesed was extremely passionate. But, every measure he took failed, courtesy of Angela's sabotage (later revealed to be all in the name of the script). His efforts were doomed to failure in the first place, because human sacrifice wasn't collateral damage to be avoided, it was a necessity.

Chesed has a rather unique position as Sephirot of the Welfare Team. It's literally his duty to help the employees and keep them safe. Unlike most other teams, he directly confronts how death can be minimized, and thus has the greatest awareness of how unavoidable it really is.

"It's a good thing that everyone has such clear-cut assigned roles. It makes it easy for them to be faithful to their task with no unnecessary contemplation or distraction."

"Lady Angela does a very good job at keeping everyone in check in her play. Anytime someone tries to rid themself of their assigned role... Well, she becomes merciless."

Again, his position in the Welfare Team is what allows him to contemplate all this at all, combined with the fact that we know Chesed is already much smarter than he first appears. From his theatrical metaphor, we can even glean that he either came to the conclusion of a script himself, or managed to glean it from Angela's actions. The other Sephirah simply do not have the space to think about it to such a degree.

Angela tells him the truth about how LobCorp creates its energy not only because Chesed was already onto it, but because showing a passionate young man that his every goodwill is useless and will be sabotaged is the best way to break him.

(Another youth broken by the sharp jaws of capitalism~)

We only do things efficiently. Be happy you have this job at all. Just drink some coffee, you'll feel better.  "What's the point of it all?"

By the end of it all, he just gave up. If he went against Angela, if he told the employees the truth, she'd just kill them. And it will be his fault.

During Chesed's fifth segment, we actually get to see his relationship with Gebura, as touched upon by Brainworm Anon.

Angela herself says that "Gebura has failed to control her enmity, and has now lost her way." Chesed's kindness had made him unable to act, unable to rebel for fear of consequence. Despite saying he doesn't care for the welfare of employees, who else could it be for? "I hope you continue to rot until the day you die, succumbing to your fears like the servile bastard you are," says Gebura, hitting the nail on the head while also being very mean.

Gebura goes hard in the exact opposite direction. Chesed is consumed by fear, but she won't let herself be afraid. Ever. She'll confront everything head on, she'll punish each and every Abnormality as much as she can. The flipside to this is that "lack of fear" doesn't just mean for herself, but also for others. Her initial task as Kali was protecting others, and by refusing to show fear and setting her focus on raw strength, she accepts any casualty, completely contradicting her initial mission. But that's a topic for another post.

From the wise words of Brainrot Anon:

"But the way both Geburah and Chesed both grow into being healthier more balanced versions of themselves makes my heart swell with happiness in knowing that all our hardwork in LC did pay off when it came to helping our friends."

Indeed.

Speaking of growing into a healthier version of yourself, we have arrived at the turning point!

"Everyone has their own battle in this place...," he says after Gebura storms off, "But I can't seem to shake off this feeling that I'm the only one who just observes this situation from afar, not taking any action."

Wu oh! We've finally arrived at the self loathing! In a way, this is both completely out of his control, and a prison of his own making. Angela's sabotage was a delibarate effort to break his spirit, and yet Chesed himself tried to distance himself from the harsh reality as much as possible.

This dear statement shows us that his unique position, the most aware of the truth of LobCorp amongst the Upper and Middle Sephirah as well as seemingly unable to do anything about it, was eating him up inside.

Flashback to Garion. She tells him flat out, it doesn't matter whether he opens the door or not, because Garion will just do it herself if he doesn't. Eerily similar to the exact previous moment of Angela asking Chesed to lower the Qlipoth Detrrence. Hell, it's both about setting the Abnormalities free!

Daniel doesn't resist, because he has no choice, right? Resistance's all pointless, right? Daniel was consumed by fear, the same way Chesed was.

His core supression, his rebellion, is about taking the reins back into his own hands, about moving past the burnout and actually acting again. To him, every word of praise for his cowardice was just another pile of guilt. And the manager kept fulfilling his tasks, kept reducing casualties, kept showing him that its possible to act and to succeed!

"I don't want to undertake dirty work for Angela's show, or be a puppet who gets praise and applause from everyone. Nor do I want to be your "aide" who can't do a single thing. All of this has been a series of shame for me. Manager, this shall be my rebellion against you and Angela."

He was sick of taking a step back, of letting the shame pile on and on. We also see a bit of survivor's guilt from Daniel, regretting he was the only person who survived the initial attack from Garion.

Making this post, I'm seeing that Chesed's story is about how one gets burned out, and how one breaks out of it. How too much compassion results in guilt, and that with enough external pressure, compassion is discarded because of fear. You can try to change the world all you like, but the world will chew you up and spit you out. If you let it, that is.

"Why did I never come to the realization that I myself could be my own saviour?"

"I'm still afraid, manager. I'm still unsure if I can truly fight back against the fear I may face in the future. But I've decided not to run away, at the very least."

Chesed's Seed of Light is called "Those who are Faithful and Trustworthy." He reevaluated who he should really believe in, whose orders he should really follow, without just giving up and rolling over. In the end, if he decides to place his trust in the manager, it's of his own volition.

In a way, my initial grasp of his character may have been lacking..... I mainly focused on the first half of it, without touching upon the important aspect of reconcillation and regaining the passion thought lost. Only once he starts believing in his work again does Chesed not only act but feel like he is kind again.

One thing I may have mentioned about Chesed in regards to LoR, is that he still distances himself from other's suffering... but I don't think it's a bad thing as it was in LobCorp. It's all about the scope. LobCorp was something Chesed was directly involved in. A lof of "What if Daniel tried to resist Garion? What if Chesed tried to resist Angela?" and in the case of Chesed vs Jae-heon, the Library is the thing Chesed decided to place his trust in, which Jae-heon tries to destroy. Them standing in direct opposition leads Chesed to fall back on the attitude of "why waste effort being mean?"

As a final note, I find his Core Supression incredibly ironic, as all Core Suppressions are, since his is damage amplification. He's not hurting Angela or the manager, just the employees. Maybe that's why he needs to be supressed in that case in the first place. Well, it's always darkest before dawn, and every Sephirah is most batshit before enlightenment.

[thegothicviking]

As re-entering a link from herzeleid.com never seem to work (??) I usually copy and paste the actual text. Remember a transcription of Flake chatting with fans that I posted from early 00'? Before this Paul had a similar if not the same chat. I have already too long post in tumblr now so it will be broken down in 2 parts!

PAUL CHAT WITH FANS part I

Transcribed by Jeremy Williams

Taken from Rammstein.com chat

October 26 , 2005

_____________________________

Mod: Hello to you all. Thanks for coming out. Paul will be here in just a few minutes. And then we're going to get started.

Paul: Let's go!

niti: +++

Mod: Sorry, there was a technical problem. But the chat will start soon.

niti: +++

**atomrt: how do you chose the sounds for each song because all of them fit perfectly?**

Paul: Thanks a lot! Sometimes that works out well, sometimes not so well.+++

**maria: Your album covers have always sparked a lot of controversy. Which cover is your favourite and why?**

Paul: The cover for Sehnsucht was the most dramatic in my opinion.+++

**Benzramm: What was coming out of the fake penis during the live act "Bück Dich"? **

Paul: That was water with Ouzo to make it milky.+++

**Beurgueur: Good evening, Have you ever thought to write a metal-opera based on rammstein’ story?**

Paul: Hopefully not. We have enough theater elements already.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I was at River Plate Stadium in Argentina, 1999, when you toured with KISS. You did almost surpassed KISS music and show with your impact, and many people was really impressed. I still remember the silence during Du Hast, as Till was singing the refrain. What do you remember of Argentina, of this show? **

Paul: Yeah, that was unbelievable. It's a shame that we can't play in South America this time. Flake was seriously ill.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Did Till write Te Quiero Puta on his own, or had some kind of external help? I know it's not very complicated, nor elaborated in the lyrics, but it's not easy to put two or three sentences together if you don't know the language... believe me! I'm still trying with German!**

Paul: He had some help from his girlfriend and from Flake's friend from Chile.

Paul: But Till can already speak Spanish so well that he only had a few questions about grammar.+++

**monkeyman: What type of gear do you use when recording in the studio?**

Paul: This would take two hours to list. Too much for now. Sorry.+++

**Hugo: Why did you choose almost the same cover for the japanese version of Reise, Reise and Rosenrot? **

Paul: Because we thought it would be a shame to use the cover only for the Japanese edition.+++

**MafiUndomiel: There are many bands that edited DVD and VHS with the footage they got when they recorded their albums, the creative process and all that stuff. Since many R+ fans are really interested in knowing "Rammstein's kitchen", have you considered releasing something of that kind?

** Paul: I filmed some of the footage during Reise, Reise and it will come out sometime on a DVD as bonus material.+++

**blastedop: What happened to Live DVD? It was delayed? **

Paul: Yeah a little bit, but we're going to try to do it this year.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I wanted to know how did you put your setlists together when you go to a country you've never been... you mix old and new material, or you prefer to show your new material above all, and play only the "classics"? **

Paul: We play a mix of both old and new.+++

**Jenna: As you are possibly the most successful band from Germany (singing in German) that you are expected to represent German music and culture to the rest of the world? **

Paul: It was never our plan to play all over the world.

Paul: Sometimes we wonder ourselves how this all happened.+++

**beurgueur: what american film director would you enjoy to make a ckip with **

Paul: Tarantino.+++

**Benzramm: Did you ever get hurt when you were working with fire on the live acts ? **

Paul: Sometimes.+++

**aeon: One Rammstein member said you had a movie project with Werner Herzog. Do you think this project will be carried out and would you like to act in something different from Rammstein videos ? **

Paul: It's been awhile with WErner herzog. Maybe it will work out, there's still a plan to do it.

Paul: +++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul: What is your favorite live performance effect? (like the flamethrowes in Feuer frei or the bow in DRSG) **

Paul: The nose flame throwers that we use in Feuer frei!+++

**MafiUndomiel: Which was your first guitar? Do you still own it? **

Paul: It was a Telecaster copy. A cheap one. I gave away my first guitars at an auction for a good cause. No idea whether it worked out.+++

**Straya: This has been in my mind for a while now, and I must ask. From the sample songs on the official site, it seems Rosenrot might be your 'hardest/loudest' albums, the songs seem 'hard', in a way, like Ich Will, Feuer Frei, and Mein Teil; what do you think of this? **

Paul: I don't think so. There are fewer sequences so the guitars come out better.+++

**Synthema: Do you still feel that being in Rammstein is almost like being in a six-way marriage? Does the band still function as a tight a unit or have things drifted apart? **

Paul: Yeah.

Paul: We're still together. Knock on wood. We've been together for 10 years and now that we've gone through our crisis, we feel better than ever.

Paul: We've got money, success, beautiful women and all the rest.

Paul: Things can only get worse.+++

**Jenna: Do you think your videos help to stop you taking yourselves too seriously? **

Paul: We've always taken ourselves less seriously than many people think. our best friends know this.

Paul: At the moment, we don't feel like making any humouress videos.+++

**whiskeypapa: When writing a song, how many/what kinds of revisions does the song go through before finally making it onto an album? **

Paul: Some songs make it out directly as we conceived them. With other songs, we make 20 versions and they still don't make it.

Paul: +++

**Noora: HI! I'm a fashion and design student from Finland and I was wondering about your stage costumes...How much do you participate in the designing and making of the outfits that you use on your tours? I understand that every album has its own look. Do you first design the outline of the look as a band and hen consult a designer and maker? Thanx and welcome back to Finland! :)**

Paul: Most ideas come directly from the band. For the last outfit, we had the idea to combine Bavarian folkloric outfits with industrial.

Paul: Because Bavarian folklore is not very cool and we like to mix things that you're not supposed to.+++

**Beurgueur: Have you ever thought in what your life would be now if rammstein never was created?**

Paul: No. We don't think that way.+++

**minx: It’s been stated in several interviews that the band has two pyromaniacs in the group, but is there anyone who is not so fond of fire?**

Paul: Everybody in the band has a different specialty.

Paul: Each of us is really equally important.

Paul: It doesn'T matter what each does, it could be better when two are on vacation during preparation and actually help us to make a good video this way.+++

**Badeend: Who thinks of the titles of the cd's? Is it some kind of democraty or is it 1 man that decides?**

Paul: We make the decision as a group but it's not really a democracy. More like a board of directors.+++

**Biz: How have older industrial bands (such as Laibach or KMFDM) influenced you?**

Paul: A lot.

Paul: Also Ministry.+++

**minx: What is the oily black/brown liquid that you are all covered with on stage? Is it a fire retardant liquid?**

Paul: No.

Paul: That's a secret.+++

**minx: Why did you wear a paper bag over your head at the concert in Tallin, last November?**

Paul: I wanted to display an Iraqi prisoner.

Paul: There's a photo of a guy behind barbed wire and he's holding his son but he has a bag on his head.

Paul: That photo really had an impact on me.+++

**aeon: Why do you only do signing sessions in London and Paris? Why not in other big cities f Europe or even Germany? Or is anything planned? **

Paul: Actually we've only planned for Paris. London snuck in at the last minute.

Paul: I don't know any more signing sessions details right now.+++

**Badeend: Did you take gitar lessons or did you teach it on your self?**

Paul: Self-taught.

Paul: +++

**minx: I am going to be at the signing in London on Sunday. Do you enjoy doing those types of promotional events or are they just ‘hard work’?**

Paul: Sometimes it's a lot of fun but other times it can be exhausting.+++

**Synthema: It could be said that the "Rosenrot" photos are quite a departure image-wise from what one would expect from the band. Was this something that was decided by the band for a particular reason, or is this the sort of decision that is out of your hands? Does your management or record label have much control over how you present yourselves, or is that left to you?**

Paul: We don't like to repeat ourselves.

Paul: Usually the band always has the last word on these amtters. But weR'e not always interested in all of the details.+++

**Badeend: What is the new instrument you used in the song Te Quiero Puta?**

Paul: Trumpet.+++

**beurgueur: do you think you'll be on stage again when you'll be 60? (like rolling stones for example...)**

Paul: Hopefully somebody will die first. Then we won'T have to worry about that.+++

**minx: Do you do you all do own make-up for the shows?**

Paul: Yes.+++

**OK-River: Will Rammstein play again "Bück Dich" in a concert, or it is something of the past?**

Paul: I wouldn't say no.+++

**blastedop: Rosenrot is so diferent from Reise Reise. How is this possible if these songs are from Reise Reise recording season?**

Paul: I don'T think so. Listen to the whole album.+++

**Benzramm: Are you a sort of scared when flake is going with his boat in the public ? **

Paul: No.

Paul: But it was always Oli last year.+++

**whiskeypapa: Which of your songs invokes the most emotion from you?**

Paul: Seemann.+++

**MsBehaviour: Greetings from Finland and good evening! My question is, you have been playing together as a band for quite a many years now, and there is a big difference in the sound of Herzeleid and the sound of Reise Reise. Does this "evolution" come naturally to you, or do you make conscious decisions as to where to direct your sound? How do you feel about the change?**

Paul: There are some of us who want to stay the same.

Paul: There's some of us who want to always change.

Paul: These parties fight each other and the result is a new album or a black eye.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Have you heard a cover version of Keine Lust made by a Russian guy called Miguel? What did you think about it?**

Paul: Not yet, unfortunately.+++

**Badeend: Do you have a private jet or do you have to rent a plane?**

Paul: When the record company pays, we fly Business. When we have to pay, it'S Tourist class. Sometimes, when the connections are difficult, we rent a litlle jet.+++

**luna: First "Snow White" now "Rose Red". Do the members of Rammstein have a fondness for fairytales?**

Paul: Who doesn't?+++

**Synthema: Do you still enjoy performing live after all these years, or is it more of a chore now?**

Paul: If we didn't like it, we wouldn't have been around so long.+++

**Benzramm: Is there a double meaning in the songtexts of your songs ? **

Paul: Yeah. But the subtleties and double-meanings get lsot in translation.+++

**Badeend: What is your favorite song or cd?**

Paul: Kill Bill 1.+++

**DRS2G: Is "Hilf Mir" inspired by a Heinrich Hoffmann's tale?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Synthema: Have you ever felt that the success of Rammstein has been a negative thing for you in your personal life? That it makes it difficult to decide who to trust and who not to?**

Paul: It is difficult to stay normal despite money and success.

Paul: We fight this on a daily battle but we usually win.+++

**Beurgueur: from a viewer: what guitar do you use for your c tuning, and what guitar does richard use for this?**

Paul: I play a Gibson Les Paul and Richard plays ESP guitars.+++

**Benzramm: Did you really go to the mountains for the videoclip "Ohne Dich"?**

Paul: Yes. The was the funnest video of them all.

Paul: The thin air up there was difficult.

Paul: I'm impressed by mountain climbers who go even higher.

Paul: It was difficult for our crew and us.+++

**MafiUndomiel: how did you and richard decided who was going to be lead and who rythm guitars?**

Paul: Good question.

Paul: We're both stubborn.

Paul: It's a fight every time but we're still doing alright up to now.

Paul: Actually, the winner is supposed to be the one who plays the best solo.+++

**Badeend: Do you still have to take guitar lessons to play better?**

Paul: No.+++

**blastedop: Do you visit fansites? How about a Top 10 Fansites in the official page?**

Paul: From time to time.+++

**Badeend: Why did you pick just that girl for the Texas vocal in Stirb nich vor Mir?**

Paul: It was our producer's idea.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Paul, is there any country that you´d like to visit or going on tour, and you haven´t yet? Why?**

Paul: Yes, we would love to go to Turkey, Mongolia, Iraq. We know we've got lots of fans there.+++

**Jenna: Which current musicians (Not youselves, I'm sorry) do you think are creating the best work at the moment?**

Paul: System of a Down, Muse, Snoop Doggy Dog, Eminem, Slip Knot, etc.+++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul, How do you feel about us fans?**

Paul: It's an honour.+++

**Minx: Do you have a favourite guitar part in a particular song you really enjoy?**

Paul: +++

**DRS2G: Will "Rosenrot" be the 2nd single from your new album?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Straya: I'm wondering how this question has not come up yet... but, plenty of people are asking if you guys will tour in America and Canada. I don't mean for this to be one of those annoying questions. But, has anything be talked about?**

Paul: I'm certain that we'll tour North and South America with our next album.+++

**rammsteinuk: I read in a recent interview that there were some arguments within the band during the production of 'Mutter'. Have there been any more strong disagreements like this since?

**Paul: Thankfully not. There's always stress when six stubborn people meet, but nothing serious.+++

**minx: Most influential musician on yourself?**

Paul: Laibach, Ministry, Metallica, Nirvana.+++

**blastedop: Did you like Benzin video? Schneider didnt.**

Paul: I don't think it's that bad.

Paul: We've had three really good videos in a row, so it'S hard to keep the standards so high.

Paul: I'm glad that there's some variation, next time we'll improve.+++

**whiskeypapa: First, Reise Reise saw a "country moment" with Los, and now Rosenrot has Te Quiero Puta. If you could make a fusion of Rammstein and any other world music (for fun), what would it be?**

Paul: Yes, I interested in all combinations of things that don'T fit together.+++

**Biz: Are there any downsides to being famous?**

Paul: We're famous but we can still buy groceries in Berlin without bodyguards.

Paul: We've got nothing to complain about.

Paul: Our band is famous around the world but we still have normal lives, thank God.+++

**minty: Paul are you looking forward to the world cup next year? who will win?**

Paul: Yes. It doesn'T look good for Germany right now.

Paul: I hope that a miracle happens.+++

**aeon: Do you hope your music will still be appreciated in many years from now or it doesn't matter to you ?**

Paul: I think that we're relatively timeless.

Paul: But that'S probably what every band thinks and two years later nobody cares ...+++

**DRS2G: Was it good to be directed by Jonas Akerlund?!**

Paul: Yes, he's just a cool guy.+++

[uomo-accattivante]

I recently came across a bunch of press articles and photos about Oscar Isaac that are so old, they appear to be out-of-print and pre-date social media. Considering they were probably never digitally transcribed for internet access, I’m guessing that the majority of current fans have never seen this stuff.

Even though a lot of these digital scans are challenging to read because they are the original fuzzy news print, I think there some gems worth sharing with you guys. Over the next several weeks, I will transcribe and share those gems on this page. Hope you enjoy them!

Let’s start with this fantastic 2001 profile piece done before Oscar was accepted into Juilliard:

South Florida’s rising star isn’t just acting the part

By Christine Dolen - cdolen@herald.com

February 4, 2001

As fifth-graders at Westminster Christian School in Miami, Oscar Isaac and his classmates were asked to write a story as if they were animals on Noah’s Ark. Oscar turned in a seven-page play – with original music – from the perspective of a platypus. Then he starred in the production his teacher directed.

He hasn’t stopped expressing himself creatively since. Today, Isaac is one of South Florida’s busiest young theater actors, and certainly its hottest. And not just because he’s a slender five-feet nine-inches tall with an expressively handsome face and glistening brown eyes.

Since making his professional debut as a Cuban hustler in Sleepwalkers at Area Stage in July 1999, he has played an explosive Vietnam vet in Private Wars for Horizons Repertory, a pot-smoking slacker in This Is Our Youth at GableStage, another Cuban on the make in Praying With the Enemy at the Coconut Grove Playhouse, the entrancing narrator of Side Man at GableStage, a Havana-based writer in Arrivals and Departures for the new Oye Rep and, most recently, a young Fidel Castro in When It’s Cocktail Time in Cuba at New York’s Cherry Lane Theater.

Beginning Wednesday, he’ll be juggling five roles in City Theatre’s annual Winter Shorts festival, first at the Colony Theatre in Miami Beach, then at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. But that is not all: During the two weeks he is doing Winter Shorts, he’ll also be playing dates with the punk-ska band The Blinking Underdogs (www.blinkingunderdogs.com), which features him as lead singer, guitarist and songwriter.

Oh, and he just got back from auditioning for New York’s prestigious Juilliard School of Drama.

All this for a guy a month shy of his 22nd birthday.

Sure, you could hate a guy who’s that talented, that charismatic, that transparently ambitious. But the people who have worked with Oscar Isaac don’t. On the contrary, they’re all sure he has it – that magical, can’t-be-taught thing that transforms an actor into a star.

Playwright Eduardo Machado, who put in a good word for Isaac at Juilliard, says “he does have that star quality that makes your eyes go to him. It’s great that someone with that talent still wants to train.”

“He has a star quality that’s rare in a young actor,” adds Joseph Adler, who directed him in Side Man and This Is Our Youth. “Without a doubt I expect to be hearing great things from him.”

‘I JUST LOVE CREATING’

Isaac, who also makes short films, can’t say exactly why he was attracted to acting. He just knows it makes him happier than anything, that it’s what he was meant to do. And he’s been doing it since he was a 4-year-old putting on plays in his family’s backyard with his sister Nicole.

“I just love creating, whether it’s music or films or a character on a stage. I love taking people for a ride,” he says. “In Side Man, every night I would love being that close to the audience. I felt like I was talking to 80 of my closest friends.

“I could feel what the audience was feeling.”

His powerful, mournful-yet-loving monologue near the end of the play, he said, “worked every night. I knew it would get them. I’d hear sniffles.

“But it had less to do with me than with the atmosphere [created by the playwright and director].”

You could understand if Isaac, surrounded as he is by praise and possibility, had an ego as burgeoning as his career. Instead, he channels the positive reinforcement into confidence about his work.

“He has such a charm and an ease onstage, but he’s very modest,” says New York-based actress Judith Delgado, who shared the stage with Isaac in Side Man. “He’s hungry. He’s got moxie. I was blown away by him.

“He saved me a couple of times. I went up [forgot a line] and that baby boy of mine came through. He’s a joy.”

FORGING HIS OWN PATH

The son of a Cuban-American father and a Guatemalan mother, Isaac was never a stellar student. But he found ways of turning routine assignments – like the Noah’s Ark story – into creative challenges.

His science reports were inevitably video documentaries underscored with punk music. He acted through middle and high school, though he had a falling out with his drama teacher at Santaluces Community High in Lantana over his misgivings about a character. When she refused to cast him in anything else, he got his English teacher to let him play the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors his senior year.

His skepticism about authority and love of playing the devil’s advocate have long made him resist doing things the usual way. His post-high school “training” consisted of one semester at Miami-Dade Community College’s South Campus (where he met his girlfriend, Maria Miranda), touring schools playing an abusive character in the Coconut Grove Playhouse’s Breaking the Cycle, and working as a transporter of bodies at Baptist Hospital, where he absorbed the drama of people in emotionally intense situations.

“It was the most magnificent dramatic institute I could’ve attended,” Isaac said. “I was able to observe the entire spectrum of human emotion, people under the most extreme duress. I was mesmerized watching the way people interacted with each other in such heightened situations.

“I learned everything about the human condition, and it was real and harsh and brutally honest.”

Yet even given his propensity for forging his own path, something nudged him another direction while he was in New York making his Off-Broadway debut in December. Walking by Juilliard one day, he impulsively went in to ask for an application. Though the application deadline had passed, Isaac persuaded Juilliard to accept his, noting in his application essay that most of the exceptional actors he admires had acquired “a brutally efficient technique” to enhance their talent by studying at places like Juilliard.

Though he won’t know whether he has been accepted until the end of this month, his audition last weekend went well, he says. He did monologues from Henry IV, Part I and Dancing at Lughnasa, adjusting his Shakespearean Hotspur to a more fiery temperature at the suggestion of Michael Kahn, head of Juilliard’s acting program – though not without arguing that Hotspur wouldn’t be speaking to the king that way.

Isaac, not surprisingly, loves a good debate.

Adler, GableStage’s artistic director and a man who is as liberal as Isaac once was conservative, savored the verbal jousting they did during rehearsals for Side Man.

“He knows exactly how to pull my chain,” Adler says with a laugh. “Intelligence is the cornerstone of all great actors, and he’s bright as hell.

“He has relentless ambition but with so much charm. He’s very hard to say no to. He has incredible raw talent and magnetism that is very rare in a young actor along with relentless energy, perseverance and ambition. I see his growth both onstage and off. He’s mature in both places.”

Part of his growth, of course, will necessarily involve dealing with the rejections that are part of any actor’s life. His career is still too new, his string of successes solid, so it’s anyone’s guess how failure will shape him. But director Michael John Garcés, who picked him for When It’s Cocktail Time in Cuba after Isaac flew to New York at his own expense to compete with a pool of seasoned Manhattan actors for the role, believes his character will see him through.

“Oscar is realistic, but he’s so willing to go the whole nine yards,” Garcés says. “He didn’t go out when he was in the show here. His focus earned the respect of the other actors, some of whom have been working in New York for 30 years.

“He hasn’t had a lot of blows yet, when the career knocks the wind out of you. But he has talent, determination and focus, and if he has perseverance – my intuition is that he does have it – he could achieve a lot.”

FAMILY TIES

His father and namesake, Baptist Hospital intensive-care physician Oscar Isaac Hernandez, couldn’t be more proud. (Isaac doesn’t use the family surname in order to avoid, in his words, being “put in that Hispanic actor box.”)

“I’m ecstatic that he’s probably going to be going to the most prestigious drama school in the United States,” he says. “School will help him focus his energies and give him discipline. He’s got the raw material and the drive.”

Isaac’s mother, Maria, divorced from his father since 1992, is a kidney-transplant recipient who acknowledges that she’ll miss her son if he moves to New York. But, she adds, she wants him “to live out his dreams. He amazes me every day. He calls me every day. I’m very proud of him.”

Even the other guys in The Blinking Underdogs are fans of Isaac’s acting, though it could take him away from South Florida just as the band appears to be, Isaac says, on the brink of signing a recording deal (it has already put out its own CD, The Last Word, with songs, lead vocals and even cover photography by Isaac.

“Oscar’s the leader of the band, a great musician who amazes me and motivates us,” says sax player Keith Cooper. “I’ve been to see every one of his plays. He’s a phenomenal actor.

“I completely buy into his role in every play. As close as I am to him, I forget it’s Oscar.”

His South Florida theater colleagues credit that to Isaac’s insatiable desire to learn and grow.

Gail Garrisan, who is directing him in Donnie and One of the Great Ones for Winter Shorts, observes, “It’s not often that you find a young actor who is willing to listen and who doesn’t think he knows everything. He loves the work.

“He really brought the young man in Side Man to life. When I saw it in New York, it seemed to be the father’s play. When I saw it here, I felt it was his [Isaac’s] play.”

Oye Rep’s John Rodaz, whom Isaac calls “the best director I’ve ever worked with,” gave the actor his first important job in Sleepwalkers at Area Stage. They met when Isaac came to see Area’s production of Oleanna and the actor, knowing Rodaz ran the theater, introduced himself.

“He has so much energy and such a sparkling personality,” Rodaz says. “He knows how to move in the world. He seems to take advantage of every situation in a good way; he’s not a cold, calculating person who’ll stab you in the back.

“[But] he wants it so badly. Everything he does, he’s the leader. When I was 21, I was taking naps.”

Rodaz coached Isaac on his Juilliard monologues and found the experience energizing.

“I got chills just watching him. That happens so rarely. I was so exhilarated when I came home that I just had to go out and run. You just know he’s got all the tools.”

Christine Dolen is The Herald’s theater critic.

###

[gra-sonas]

I didn’t mean to be “silent”, this just took me much longer to write than I had planned. 

First of all, I’d like to point you in the direction of a very good post @adiwriting​ posted a couple of days ago, that sums things up in a very articulate way, you can find it HERE.

~*~

In short: in his most recent interview with the Pretty Little Wine Moms Podcast, Tyler - who’s playing a character who’s half Native American -  revealed, that he did a DNA test with a company called 23AndMe during the filming of season 1 of Roswell, New Mexico, and he test didn’t detect Native American ancestry, even though his grandmother had told him in 2010, that his paternal grandfather Harold's great grandmother was Cherokee Indian.

Below the cut is a transcript of that part of the interview, my opinion on this whole thing, and I answered a couple of asks I got about it. This is a VERY long post.

I’ve already watched the video of the interview, and it shows, that they edited the interview quite heavily. There are several cuts throughout the episode, and some things that can be heard in the audio version, didn’t make it into the video either. 

TRANSCRIPT [I didn’t transcribe every laugh or random words, but I’ve tried my best to make it as accurate as possible]

LESLEY: Did you audition for any of the other roles on PLL?

TYLER: No, Caleb came in halfway through season one. I remember, it was supposed to be a 4-episode stint, a guest starring role. What’s funny though, I lived right by Warner Brothers [studios], so I would drive […] past Warner Brothers and there was a bill board of Pretty Little Liars before it came out and I was like “I could probably be on a show like that.” So, anyway, I auditioned for Caleb, yeah. I never read for… […] No, I didn’t get the role at first because they were like “we really think he needs to be like really ethnic. We need some ethnic diversity. And I was like—

LESLEY: What are you? You’re like “hello”! Part Native American, i mean.

TYLER: Well, no, I’m actually not. I’m actually not, I found out.

HOLLY: Whaaaat? Yes, you are. We did talk about this.

NIA: I thought you were.

HOLLY: We talked about this on set.

TYLER: Do you know when I found out that I wasn’t is when I got Roswell, my character was also supposed to be Native American, half Native American. And I was like “great”, because the pool was like so small. You know, so this is great, you know. I’m shooting season one of the show and do a 23AndMe [DNA test] and I have literally not even 0.1 % Native American.

HOLLY: That can’t be possible.

NIA: No, no, no, no, let me explain how that works. That’s not right.

HOLLY: Nia has some things to tell you.

NIA: The information - I know these things, every nationality in me—

TYLER: Okay, tell me.

NIA: 23AndMe is pulling from— if you do 23AndMe and then you do… what’s the other one—

LESLEY: AncestryCOM

HOLLY: AncestryCOM

NIA: —they’ll come up different. And the reason they’ll come up different from each other is, they’re pulling from the people they already have in their database. So, if there’s not very many Native American people doing 23AndM—

HOLLY: Which there isn’t.

NIA: —it’s not gonna show up.

TYLER: Oh god.

NIA: Yeah.

[INFO: There’s a clear CUT at this point before the interview continues, they even cut Tyler’s “Oh god” you can hear in the audio from the video. So they must’ve talked about this some more before the official version of the interview continues.]

TYLER: Okay, so this is what happened, going back [to being cast as Caleb]. They said “thank you so much for the read” and I really thought I was gonna get it. Because Gayle Pillsbury [PLL casting director] - I’d never even read for her before - and I went in and auditioned, and her response was literally everything you want in an audition. She like lost her fucking mind and was like “where did you come from?”, you know, that sort of thing. I mean, I’m a TERRIBLE auditioner and I get so unbelievably nervous, so for that to be the response—

LESLEY: Wow.

TYLER: So that response… I was like “oh my gosh”. And you even audition and you’re like “I booked it. I booked it!”, you know what I mean? Even though it’s not up to her, you know, but anyway. Then they told me “thank you so much for the read, it was so good, but we want more ethnic diversity”. They came back to me, I don’t know, three weeks later? And they were like “What is your background?” And I was like “I don’t even know.” I called my dad, he tells me “I don’t even know.” He’s like “Call grandma.”. I call my grandma, she tells me her side and then… My dad’s dad passed away before I was born, I don’t know his side of the family at all. So my grandmother talks about his side of the family and says “You know—“ - it was Harold, Harold was my grandfather’s name - —“Harold’s great grandmother was Cherokee Indian. And I was like “Really?” I was like “This is good!”

WINE MOMS,  LAUGHING: “This is good!”

TYLER: So, then I told casting “I’m Native American.” And so they thought it was enough to cast me as, you know, ‘ethnically ambiguous’ or whatever.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

~*~

I’m not an expert on DNA tests. Nia’s comment that tests from different companies come back with different results bc they pull their data from different gene pools makes sense, but I can’t verify whether that's actually the case. Neither do I know whether her claim that 23AndMe pool lacks Native samples for reference is correct.

If it is, it would mean that 23AndMe DNA tests in general wouldn’t be able to detect Native ancestry in any sample. Maybe a test with a different company would come up with a different result, in any case, it would be a very small percentage, given how many generations are between Tyler and his Native ancestor.

The result of the test is only one piece of the puzzle tho, and not the relevant one.

The question isn’t whether the result indicates that what Tyler’s grandma told him is false. The question is, if one Native ancestor 5 generations back and no tribal affiliation of any kind entitle Tyler to play POC characters. 

The answer is a clear no, and yet he’s been cast as non-white characters (and in one case as an explicitly Native character) twice in his life.

That’s unfortunate at best, and ignorant at worst.

~*~

Tyler auditioned for PLL in 2010 when he was 23, turning 24 that year. Initially he didn’t get the role bc they wanted someone “ethnic”. They called him 3 weeks (!) after the initial rejection and asked about his background, and by talking to his grandma, he found out about this Native ancestor.

2010 was a mere decade ago, but it was also a different time. Discussions about diversity and representation on screen, the question whether it’s okay for male actors to play trans women or if shows should pass the Bechdel test were all topics that weren’t discussed as “aggressively (and I mean that in a very positive way, hammer it home that all these things matter!) as they are discussed today, and structures in the TV and movie industry ignored most of it anyway (still do way too often, lbr).

Looking back, it’s easy to condemn what happened as vigorously as we would condemn it if it happened today, but applying today’s standards to 2010 is still a bit unfair. (I’m not saying that what happened is okay, just that back then the level of awareness for it to be wrong wasn’t the same as it is today).

Sure enough ABC execs were all too happy to accept that minimal partial Native ancestry as “enough” to cast him, probably also because Tyler looked “ethnically ambiguous” to them, whatever that means. (Holly also mentioned that they talked about Tyler’s Native ancestry on the set of PLL, and apparently not a single person pointed out that maybe it was a questionable decision...).

Tyler was trying to get his career started back then, and an opportunity like PLL would be any young actor’s dream. When they told him “you’re ethnic enough, you’ve got the job”, he lacked the tools and the awareness to question their decision, neither did anyone ever question Tyler’s decision to accept the role. It was considered to be “okay” by all sides. Which is a systemic problem.

As far as I know, Caleb’s supposed “ethnically diverse” background was never explored on PLL, so they were just happy he looked “ethnic" but never gave a fuck about actual representation. Welcome to the club of most TV shows ever made. Even in 2020, too many shows and movies still try to pull that shit. The difference is, that nowadays they are called out, and people speak up. 

~*~

Fast forward to 2017 when Tyler got the script for Roswell. 7 years of him believing that this partial Native ancestry made him part Native, not half like Alex Manes, but it probably felt like it was “enough” - it had been enough for PLL after all.

He got cast because he’s a great actor, but also because he supposedly had the required ethnic background. This is also on the studio tbh. I assume he was asked about his background and he must’ve told them the same story (since he didn’t have a DNA test he could’ve shown them), and for The CW “one Cherokee Indian ancestor 5 generations back” was also “Native enough”...

~*~

It’s quite a bit of a mess tbh. Fans have been hit rather hard by this revelation, some are angry, some are disappointed, some feel uncomfortable, some probably don’t know whether how they feel is how they should feel after applying all our new-found 2020 ~wisdom and awareness to the situation.

Opinions on the matter differ. Vastly in some cases. Some people feel betrayed, some have “cancelled” Tyler, for others it’s not ideal but also not that big of a deal. It’s a mixed bag, really. 

As for me: 2010 Tyler gets a pass from me. It was a “different time” with different industry rules in place, and ABC’s higher ups, who should’ve known and done better, didn’t. Neither did anyone in casting, nor his management, colleagues, or anyone in his personal life. And he clearly lacked the experience and awareness to question the decision, or himself for accepting it because it never was questioned! Not even in the years following.

2017 Tyler only gets a partial pass. 2017 wasn’t 2020 and too many things were still not all that different from 2010. He’d been on a show for 7 years where this partial Native ancestry was “enough”. Hence he probably felt like auditioning for the role of Alex was okay, and everyone involved in the casting process thought so, too. 

He never pretended to be Native American to get the role, he never pulled a Scarlett Johansson. However... he probably should’ve questioned a bit harder whether a Native ancestor 5 generations back makes him “Native enough” to play a (half) Native character, or any kind of POC character for that matter.

So yeah, definitely putting some blame on him for the lack of awareness, but I’m also side-eying The CW and whoever was involved in the decision making. 

~*~

What I hope for and expect fromTyler now and in the future is, that he won’t ever allow to be cast as any kind of “ethnic” character ever again.

He’s worked hard and has very much earned the career he’s made. He’s an amazing actor, but the circumstances that gave him the opportunity to have that career are based on racist structures in the TV and movie industry, and he directly profited from a system, that cast him - for all we know a white man - as a man of color. Twice.

Imo Tyler’s well aware of these things now. 2020 in particular should’ve been a pretty good eye-opener. It’s good that he has someone like Jeanine to look up to and learn from (not her job to teach him or take him by the hand or anything, but I think she’s a great example of someone who’s already made a name of herself, and uses her influence to help others, and the way she talks about diversity and elevating marginalized voices is very powerful), and I hope that in the future he’ll use is voice and “weight” as an established actor, to elevate minority voices and push for their stories to be included.

Answered your question in part above already.

It’s important to note that there’s a difference between criticizing someone’s actions, and openly hating and/or dissing them. This is a messy situation, and while Tyler can’t change the past, he has to do better in the future. Saying that doesn’t make me (or anyone else) a hater. Tyler’s amazing, but he’s also not perfect. And he doesn’t have to be. No one’s perfect.

When I look back at my life, dear god, I grew up in a very liberal family, we travelled places, I had access to all the books and education, and still. At 23? I was somewhat anti-feminist and a slightly conservative leaning liberal. Not a bad person per se, but also quite ignorant (compared to today’s standards anyway). Thankfully that’s changed over the years. And it keeps changing. Because getting complacent and thinking “I know it all” is BS. I’m working on myself every day, and I’m still prone to fuck up occasionally bc the system is rigged in my favor, and I might not even be aware of it in that moment. 

I’m not cross with Tyler, because I can’t say for certain I hadn’t done the same if the circumstances had been similar. I’m actually quite sure I had done the same, bc society and the industry made it okay. AND NO ONE EVER QUESTIONED IT! He never claimed more for himself than a Native ancestor 5 generations back, and society at large and the TV/movie industry in particular said “that’s fine, you have that ancestry, you can go for diverse roles”. So in part, he fell victim to a system that pretended it was okay.

With MeToo and the Black Lives Matter movement, that “it’s okay” mentality is finally questioned and challenged, and more and more people speak up whenever someone tries to pull this shit. But it still keeps happening and there’s a lot more work to do. 

No one can claim ignorance anymore, though. And he has to do better in the future.

I feel you, nonnie. It’s a messy situation. Imo it’s most unfortunate that this information came out the way it did. In a heavily edited podcast episode with inexperienced (and dare I say “industry-biased”) moderators. We don’t know what else he said or for how long they talked about this.

The podcast hosts were clearly not the most qualified to handle that kind of revelation. There were no follow-up questions, there was no criticism, and the way the interview was edited, the whole thing was treated as a non-issue and “fun” anecdote. Which doesn’t do Tyler any favors tbh. 

But imo it’s also unfair to condemn him solely on what they decided to release. We don’t know what else he said, whether he expressed remorse or whatnot. I don’t know whether his publicist okayed the interview prior to its release. If they did, he should get a new publicist... 

(I’m not implying he should’ve kept it a “secret”, but as a publicist I would’ve made sure this revelation had been handled differently, and Tyler hadn’t been made to look like he was just laughing it off).

I don’t know Tyler personally, but going by everything I’ve seen from him and know about him, I’m certain he won’t take on another POC role. And even if another DNA test should come up with a different result one day, and a certain percentage of Native ancestry would be found, I’d expect him to handle things differently. And imo that’s something he expects from himself, too. He’s a good man. <3

I don’t think he should, but I’m white, so my opinion on this isn’t really relevant. If Native groups would call for him to step down (which I don’t think they would), I’d support it because THEIR opinion on this actually matters.

One option could be that they do a storyline where it’s revealed that the woman Alex believes to be his mother isn’t his biological mom and it turns out he’s not Native - but that’s probably a far stretch, idk.

If he’d give up the role (which he clearly isn’t doing, considering he’s found out during S1 and is about to begin filming S3), I doubt The CW would recast the role with a native actor btw. Alex’d just be written off the show.

What I hope for is, that he’ll join Jeanine in her efforts to push for more Native and Latinx representation and stories on the show (Jeanine talked about that in her recent IG live with congressman Castro, @lambourngb​ made a post about it), and you can watch the entire IG live here.

Fandom’s a large group of many individual people. There are several people who have addressed this and talk about it. And while not every single person in fandom’s talking about it, it’s not swept under the rug either.

And how does this whole thing make Malex fans (another large group of many individual people) look toxic? Malex fans are not a hive mind. I have seen several Malex fans talk about this, and talk about it critically.

I’m sorry that you’re disappointed, nonnie, I’m just not sure what you expected?