#traits of his character i feel like u can trace it through Everything.

[time-is-restored]

btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.

it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'

and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.

and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.

like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.

hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.

[captnjacksparrow]

I heard there were rumors about Naruto being developed into seinen after Shippuden. Wouldn't that have been wonderful? I think it was such a wasted opportunity for another amazing experience. We wouldn't have any child marriages, or that recycled bs Boruto. And a challenge for Kishimoto. Although I am not sure about that last one, he kind of lost the plot towards the end there.

But even so, what a wasted opportunity.

What's your take? What could have been the implications of that?

Am just going to take this ask as an heartful rant!!!!!! 😊😊😊😊

Just because of this ask, I decided to dig deeper into his past interviews and found things that even confirmed my opinions even stronger. 

Damn you!!!! Kishimoto!!!!

Thanks to you @sneezemonster15 🤩🤩🤩. LOL. Because When your speculation becomes true, you will experience some satisfaction which is immeasurable.

[[Anything I am going to cite from an old interview, after this line of the post is something I got to knew only today. Which means I never knew about these interviews before. Probably SNS shippers knew about these long back but to me it’s a new thing.]]

I heard there were rumors about Naruto being developed into seinen after Shippuden. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?

I never heard of such development and even if they do, they already did a lot of damage in the name of Boruto. And I don't think they can tell anymore story after Shippuden in a convincing way.

For me, Shippuden is in and of itself looks like a big seinen based Manga because I believe there were certain themes which were told in part 2 that are simply not suitable for a 12 year old to comprehend. Even I was overwhelmed by such plots because it really questioned my world view.

I mean, what can a 12 year old understand about Hatred or World peace which Nagato planned to implement or Itachi's pain? Yeah, there may be very few who could understand but majority don’t and hence we could see some part of fandom who still thinks ‘Sasuke should have left alone and made to start a new Village as a Revolution, or he should’ve destroyed Konoha to dust’. Any mature audience who consumed various media and have a broad world view would never spout such nonsense. Because the real world wouldn't work that way.

he kind of lost the plot towards the end there.

He didn’t actually. I believe he was made to create that Kaguya plot as a thread to continue Borutoverse. It may not be his idea. I am just speculating. Because Kishi is a damn genius in dropping threads much earlier in the story.

Example, Uchiha Madara.

When Sasuke and Naruto battled in VoTE1, I was wondering about the statues as to who might they be?. Then Kakashi slightly hinted us that the statues represents the men who created Konoha, but they were fighting until the very end for some reason. Similar to how Naruto and Sasuke fought there. And when Madara’s name was dropped for the first time when Sasuke suppressed Kurama, it just got only better.

So, I think Kaguya was a plot which was created right when Naruto was decided to pair up with Hinata and have a baby who will lead the Next Generation. When the series was going on and on about Sharingan, all of a sudden it took a U-Turn towards Byakugan. I was like, ‘Who the fuck cares about Byakugan anyway?’

Then it all made sense after looking at the abomination called ‘Boruto’, where all the Aliens were seen having Byakugan. So, It feels like he lost the plot. But I really think he was forced to. 

So far, whatever I wrote till now was my observation. 

That Damn Kishimoto gave an interview long back which proved my hunch right.

So, You see, he was never interested in a sequel series to happen. He was just forced to. 

Do you know what was the real ending he aimed for?

In many of my posts, I wrote about how SNS was a carefully constructed bond which Kishimoto paid a lot of attention to. I mean, there’s no way we can call the chapter 698 as a Retconned one. Every clues and hints were already there.

It seems that the bastard confessed about this 15 years ago, in 2006 Shonen Jump Interview and again in 2015 NYCC comic con.

He didn’t talk about Ships and shits in any of these interviews. He already planned the ending long back when he finished Part 1. The ending with Naruto and Sasuke doing Reconciliation Seal with Hashirama and Madara statues by visualizing everything into details and that too in freaking 2006. 

[[Click the picture to see the full view]]

Reconciliation of Naruto and Sasuke was something Kishi planned long back after finishing part 1. He even visualized all the panels in detail and that's the ending he was striving towards.

It seems, he never planned about pairings and stuffs ahead as many shippers would like to claim. I am not saying he planned SNS as the endgame couple either. But I honestly think, Kishi wished for an ending similar to Chapter 699. Like without any pairing trash, finishing off with Naruto and Sasuke sharing their dreams and hopes together. 

And this is what I’ve been screaming in all my posts... That I speculate, I guess, I believe and so many similar words... that Kishi always wanted to finish with Chapter 699 and Chapter 700 feels like an afterthought.

But anyways, with Studio persuaded him into pair up his Main Characters, he was asked to write Boruto Script for one last time and it seems, that’s the only movie where he wrote the entire screenplay from A to Z. He said that Boruto movie is the ‘Pinnacle of his career’. Does it mean, ‘The Last’ movie was not his pinnacle, eh??? 

And what do I always scream about Boruto series in every posts?

That I feel like Naruto and Sasuke seems to Babysit Boruto like a parent. 

And that’s what he wanted to finish as the last chapter of Naruto.

I mean throughout the movie, there were no trace of Hinata and Sakura playing any major role in their Child’s life, instead Sasuke is seen talking fondly about Naruto to his Son, I mean Naruto’s Son. So, If he envision drawing 2 guys taking care of a child as the last chapter, then what was he trying to say?

This Kishimoto is just too sinister!!! 

And it seems, he dissed ‘The Last’ movie subtly in his own words. Like almost he claims he had no part in that movie. Well, I always had my doubt regarding that movie. Never expected Kishi would say this.

Couple of days ago, I made a post about, how Kishi never gave 2 fucks about Sakura from the beginning. I analyzed that post based on my observation by carefully reading through panels in the initial chapters and his motivations to draw the panel in a certain way. That gave me an idea of what Kishi’s style of designing a character. I never knew about this Interview thing, when I wrote that post.

It seems, in an Interview, he pretty much confirmed my view about him.

Kishi’s assistant was posed with a question, ‘How every character, no matter how bad they are, gets redeemed in some way?’

To which he answered, ‘Before even making a first appearance, Kishi will lay out how he wants the character to be, what it’s personality traits are, what was it about to do.’

So, Kishi really never planned to make Sakura redeemable. Her fate was sealed when she unveiled her grand dream in chapter 4 before her teammates.

What I would like to conclude is,

Kishi developing anything after Shippuden will not have his full heart. So, that development based on Seinen may not be true. 

Kishi planned Chapter 698 long back when he completed Part 1. He even visualized every panels about how it is going to be. So, probably Chapter 699 is where Kishi intended to end the series. Hence, the abomination you were made to see in Boruto is not his idea.

He never planned about pairings unless he was asked to. Hinata was the popular one and he just went with it. It’s not like he always intended for Naruto to end up with Hinata.

When he was asked to write a story about Boruto, he envisioned Boruto movie as the final chapter of Naruto series, if only he had the opportunity to draw this as a manga. In this movie, Naruto became an Hokage, Sasuke is a Shadow Hokage, Naruto’s son was adopted by Sasuke. Hinata and Sakura were the bench warmers. 

It seems to me that Kishi somehow wants to place Naruto and Sasuke as the face of this series towards the end. He knew that he can't make them as an official couple and when things didn't go as he planned he made them into an unofficial couple who takes cares of a boy with all the care.

Geez!!! I wish I were wrong😏😏😏😏. But all these interviews proves that I was right about many things without even realizing it was there.

[jebazzled]

Level Up! Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced RP and You

Hello there! Coming to you again with tips & tricks for a top-notch roleplay experience! Today we're going to talk about writing levels and what they mean for your roleplay experience. We'll cover what these levels mean, how to gauge where you're at, and how you can improve your roleplay writing specifically!

WRITING LEVELS

"Writing levels" are often a descriptor sites will use in their advertising and site buzzes. They might be "semi-literate," "intermediate," "literate," "advanced," or any other sort of buzzword. The key here is that these descriptors are used by site staff both to advertise what type of writing is most common on their site and what type of writing they want to see on their site.

What writing levels are not is a value indicator. There's nothing wrong with being an intermediate writer or a beginner writer; advanced sites are not inherently better than intermediate ones, beginner sites are nothing to be ashamed of! Think of writing levels as an umbrella within the rp community. The same way a forum rp-er might narrow their search to jcink sites, a writer might narrow their search to sites which cater to their style of writing.

That said, it is good to define what each of these levels look like so you can figure out where your writing might fit.

BEGINNER Beginner writing is often very short and direct, without much in the way of literary flourish. Characters might be fairly undeveloped (or developed around one trait, for example, "goth" or "prep") and there's usually more discussion of their appearance than you see in advanced writing.

Examples:

Susie was short and very skinny, with big eyes and long mermaid-wavy hair dyed blue at the ends. She was sitting outside Firefly High in blue skinny jeans, silver Converse, and a black t-shirt. "I hope someone can give me a ride home," she said.

Raven sneered at Susie. She didn't like blue because she liked black, because she was a goth. "Are you listening to popular music? What a phony."

Bramblepaw sat down in the clearing. "Hello" he meowed.

Some guides will also give an example like 

patty threw a pom pom at susie! "take that u nerd!"

But I am choosing to believe that you're past that if you're deep enough in this hobby to be seeking out resources - I certainly never had that self-awareness until I was more in intermediate territory!

Beginner-level writing gets the job done, and can certainly move a story along. But if you've been writing a while, you might be ready to build more multifaceted characters, and to invest more effort in your writing.

INTERMEDIATE/SEMI-LITERATE WRITING Intermediate writing tends to be longer than beginner writing, with more variety in sentence structure and with more advanced word choices. There are likely more "beats" per post, by which I mean that instead of just answering a question or getting on the bus or etc, a character will likely do more actions in each turn writing. Characters are less likely to be a stereotype (see: Raven the goth who only wears black, Patty the popular cheerleader who is blonde and brainless, etc) but applications likely reveal one-dimensional characters. Common application styles I see from intermediate writers are "interviews" and "journals," as well as listicles (10 Things Raven Likes, 9 People Raven Hates, etc); this likely means a character is told rather than shown.

(Wondering what's so intermediate about interviews and journals? See my guides to interviews and journals!)

Examples:

Susie was born on March 20, 2003 in Farmville, Iowa. She didn't like how similar her classmates all were - they all listened to the same music, read the same books (none!) and had the most fun when drinking on a tractor. Susie was more deep, and liked to write poetry and sketch the animals that lived on her family's farm. Today she was sitting outside Firefly High, twirling the ends of her blue-dyed hair and waiting for a ride home. 

Raven wasn't like most girls. She didn't like horses or rabbits, but only liked goats, because they represented the devil. Raven also wasn't like most girls, at least in Farmville, because she worshipped the devil. She wore a lot of black to represent this, and when she saw Susie, she sneered. Blue! Susie must be a normie. "Are you listening to popular music?" She asked. "What a phony."

Bramblepaw had spent all morning hunting and was feeling lonely. All he wanted was to share a squirrel with a friend, and maybe have someone groom the tricky spot behind his ears. He padded from the apprentice den to the warriors', to the elders and no one was home. He sat forlorn in the middle of the clearing. "Hello?" He meowed.

Another common trait of both beginner and intermediate writing is that posts might not leave much for a partner to reply to. The whole point of this weird hobby is to collaborate with a partner - if you're finding that it is hard to keep writing partners, you might take a look at my guide for writing posts that beg a response.

Intermediate writing is stronger than beginner writing, but still sometimes falls flat when it comes to collaboration with a partner, and is almost never beautiful to read. Intermediate writing is when advanced writing is just over the next hill - and that hill comes with a fair amount of work.

ADVANCED/LITERATE WRITING Advanced writing can be long or short, but the writing in either case packs a punch. Advanced writers use a variety of sentence structures, words, and literary devices. They might have specific imagery they use for specific characters, specific literary constructions for different characters, and there is a strong character voice in each post. Advanced writers write multifaceted characters with genuine flaws and fears, and advanced writers produce writing that is enjoyable to read, elegant and emotive. Applications will usually be anecdotal - will demonstrate key moments in a character's life, allowing the writer to show them in action rather than tell the reader what they are like. (A guide to anecdotal freestyle applications is available here.

Examples:

Everything felt the same in Farmville: identical rows of corn stretching endlessly over the horizon, pockmarked by the occasional farmhouse, white clapboard and falling shutters. Every person felt the same - Susie and Mary and Sarah and Joseph, strong peasant names living strong peasant lives, and never straying more than twenty miles from the town in which they were born.

Even Susie knew she had her place in the sameness: the once-every-generation girl who fancies herself to be more, as though her sketches of the sheep and pigs are any better than her grandmother's before her. As though dying her hair blue were enough to make her different when she knew she belonged here as sure as the hogs in the barn.

The only difference between Susie and her classmates was that she didn't have a car to get her to her evening job at the Road Ranger gas station, and her bike had disassembled itself after she'd pedaled it into a gopher hole, so here she was, sitting pathetically outside Firefly High, waiting for a ride. She'd almost rather be fired than beg for one. 

It’s the principle of the thing, Raven had told her mother that morning. Yes, it was 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity; yes, there was not a cloud in the sky and the fields absorbed heat like a winter sweater; yes, she was aware that her white makeup and Wet n' Wild eyeliner was falling off her face like The Scream. But it was the principle of the thing, wearing the long-sleeved black shirt with the hand-cut thumbholes, a long dark skirt; her only concession to the heat, a pair of thin gray flip-flops instead of her beloved Docs. She listens to Death Wish; she doesn't have one.

But nothing makes a Satantic rebel feel more a phony than feeling it drip off of them in the rural Iowa heat, and Raven wanted to take it out on someone. Fair? No, but life isn't fair; she's got that on a sticker on the electric guitar she saved up her Hy-Vee salary for and never learned to play. Maybe pretending to be an asshole has turned Raven into one.

She has no real problem with Susie - Susie Q., from math, or Susie C., from human geo; who knows, they're all the same - but she scoffs at her anyway, loud enough to catch Susie's attention. "What top-40 garbage are you listening to?"

Hunting is something they do together, or they're supposed to. But in the whole time he'd been out in the woods, Bramblepaw hadn't seen a single other cat - not playing at the stream, not waiting in a tree for the finches to return, not sitting along the RiverClan border to taunt their neighbors. If he'd been a Loner, just passing through, he would have thought the entire territory abandoned.

It was unsettling, and when he returned to the Camp, it was more of the same: everyone gone, without a trace; had he imagined them being here at all? Was it all in his head?

His mew sounded small and pitiful to even him, the mewl of a lost kitten. "Hello?"

Advanced writing makes more time for descriptions, scene-setting, and other narration. It doesn't feel "cringey," by which I mean if you read it 10 years from now you're probably not going to want to drown yourself. Please do not ask me about the 2005 Proboards forum I adminned and referenced for this tutorial.

So now that we can recognize what writing our level might be at - how do we shop for a site?

FINDING YOUR FIT

Now that you have a sense of where your writing sits, it's time to use that data point in searching for a new site to call home. Some sites make it easy for you by self-identifying as beginner, intermediate, or advanced; some sites may use "semi-literate" and "literate," but I know I stray from those labels because it feels like a value judgment, and as I said before:

there is nothing wrong with being part of a beginner or intermediate community, if that is what makes the most sense for your writing and for what you aim to get out of your roleplay experience!

Before applying to a new site, you should do a little bit of digging around to see if it's a good fit for you: 

Look at accepted character applications. How do these compare to your own writing?

Skim some threads from top posters. How does this community write and structure their threads? Could you see yourself regularly keeping up with their speed, length, literary quality?

To the above point - does it seem like the community has a tendency towards your personal writing pet peeves? (For example, I personally cannot stand purple prose, and if the site community is prone to it, I am OUT.)

This is in addition to all standard due-diligence site-hunting routines, e.g. not diving into the world of Southern Gothic supernatural if you're looking for, say, urban fantasy.

It's also worth thinking about how the community behaves on the server, if you join it:

Is there a thread shoutout/compliments/etc channel? What passages are members calling out in there as exceptional writing?

Do the members strike you as open-minded and friendly or as more of a closed group? If you choose to shoot for a level above your standard writing as a growth exercise, this will be easier to achieve with an open-minded and friendly group than with a group of snobs.

Do you enjoy the vibe? Something frequently overlooked, I think. If you don't like the energy of the community, just don't join the site - that is going to be much more productive for everyone than you joining and then trying to get the staff to fully re-engineer their community.

Be honest with yourself! Regardless of how much you like a site's plot, lore, and community, joining a site that sits above your writing proficiency is challenging. You might find your characters routinely pended for lacking the development of other characters onsite. Other members may not be enthusiastic to write with you - not necessarily out of snobbishness or elitism, but because it's not fun to feel like you're not getting equal effort or quality from a writing partner. And you might find yourself feeling insecure about how your writing stacks up to others (I've been writing on advanced sites for 10 years and I feel insecure about my own writing sometimes!) which might sap your muse.

If you are looking for a minimal-effort, minimal-stress rp experience, stick to sites that are at or below your writing level. Writing with people of similar skillset will help take the edge off any insecurity, and because writing will be lower-pressure and lower-effort, you will be better positioned to juggle multiple characters and more big plots. "Lower effort" doesn't mean "lazy" - it just means that you free up headspace that otherwise you might spend on the mechanics of writing versus the excitement of plotting.

If you are an intermediate writer seeking to write on an advanced site, you need to take a much more deliberate approach.

One thing I see often is intermediate writers applying multiple characters to an advanced site at once. This is a losing proposition. While staff might be willing to pend an app and work with you on revisions, if they see you submitting multiple applications that require major revisions and overhauls, they see a pattern. While staff might be willing to help you develop one character to their site's standard, if they anticipate you needing that level of coaching on every character, they will question your ability to keep up with their members in threads. Staff cannot be expected to assist members on writing each thread post - at that point, it becomes easier to decline all of the intermediate writer's applications.

If you are an intermediate writer seeking to write on an advanced site, you need to treat this as a "quality, not quantity" project.

When I was 13 I was writing very much at a beginner and intermediate level, just little Neopets rps with my friends. Then I joined a horse rp - an advanced rp - with a 1000 word minimum per post. While I am beyond thankful ridiculous word count minimums aren't common anymore, I can credit this rp with much of my growth as a writer.

I wrote one (1) character. And I only plotted her with a couple of others. I was very active in the OOC community, and was eventually made a mod - but when it came to IC activity, I focused all my energy on one character and just a couple of plots, because I spent hours on each post, making sure that I was matching my writing partners as best I could. It was much more work than the beginner & intermediate forums I was on with my friends, and much more work for much less action. But stretching like that is what made advanced writing get easier and easier - until I could balance two characters on an advanced site, then four, until now, when I write 12 characters on multiple advanced sites with relative ease. The real challenge is in keeping up with threads - not in matching quality anymore.

If you are an intermediate writer seeking to improve your writing, joining an advanced site is a great option for growth, but you need to adjust your expectations.

Here are my best tips for intermediate writers looking to make the jump to advanced - or, for that matter, for beginners to make the jump to intermediate: 

Focus, focus, focus. Choose one (1) character to write - no matter how tempted you are by want ads, no matter how many other ideas you get, no matter what your muse is throwing at you. Use all those on sites at your current level. For your reach site, pick one character.

Be receptive. Your one (1) character might take a revision or two to get out of a pend. Remember that staff don't pend apps to be assholes - they do it because they believe in you and think you have it in you to do the necessary revisions! If they thought you were a lost cause they wouldn't have wasted their own time with a pend. Be open to the idea that they know what works and is expected in their community. After all, if your character and your writing aren't appealing to the site community... you're not going to have anyone to write with!

Focus, focus, focus, part 2. You should not choose this character based on the volume of plots they can attract. Choose a character who has one or two very close plots for you to focus on. You might consider identifying a particularly kind member of the community and filling one of their want ads, so that this close plot is ready-made for you, and so this person can be a friendly face on your writing journey.

Be realistic. You might think: well, if I focus on one character for a few weeks, then I'll be ready to take on another, right? You might be or you might not. Don't rush it. This entire journey is about deliberation and intentionality. Don't take on a second character on an advanced site until writing the first to the same standard is noticeably easier.

Be kind to yourself. This is a lot of work! If you have the time for it, you might consider also staying active on a site that is at your writing level, so you have a place for easy writing, indulging your plot bunnies, etc.

I hope this tutorial has been a helpful resource to you, both in identifying how to find the right rp for you and in figuring out how to improve your writing, if you so choose. Happy writing!

[tarithenurse]

Orphan - 7

Starring:  Fem!Reader and MCU characters! Contents: Spoilers for Endgame!! Playing with an idea for a pairing with Reader, so feel free to send asks if you want a say in it (no promises though). Some serious stuff. Some sad stuff. A/N: PREVIOUS CHAPTERS can be found on the masterlist. Thanks for likes and reblogs and comments <3

7. Bittersweet

Tired to the bone but unable to sit still. Ever since Clint told you last night that Pepper Potts-slash-Stark would be visiting today, you haven’t been able to relax let alone sleep. Throughout the night, you’d been tossing and turning along with the millions thought buzzing around in your brain like a swarm of pesky flies. Why’s she coming? You had imagined a simple, official letter from some office or maybe a phone call from a lawyer. Maybe.

Now the woman is on the way to the Barton family’s farm, and you’ve figuratively worn through the soles of the boots from all the pacing. First in the little bedroom, then through the entire house before you escaped to the barn.

Fingers trace lines in the thick layer of dust of Deere’s grooves, mixing with the residue of oil trapped in your finger whirls – no amount of scrubbing is enough, but Laura doesn’t seem to mind. Passing by the front, one of the ancient headlights is still sitting crooked after you changed the bulb, and your hands automatically busy themselves with the little task still left before the M-model would be presentable after too many years of misuse. It feels good to fix the tractor, to give it a chance to do what it’s made for instead of sitting useless, cooped up in some dusty place without a purpose. Machines need something to do…just like humans.

It’s not long before your attention is fully focused on the wiring for the electrical starting, mind at ease as it has tuned in to the ideas of its creators from the late 40’ies. There’s a clear logic to their work which you now admire, trying to respect it as you peel away the old copper with fabric wrapping so stiff it might actually break. There might be a thin layer of aluminum in between but honestly, you’re not sure, and you become enthralled with the task of figuring out the system to the point that you don’t hear the barn door opening or the muted sound of high heels treading easily across the uneven floor.

“Miss [Y/L/N],” a female voice suddenly interrupts your work, clear and demanding, “can I have a word with you?”

Here we go. You manage to sneak a glance down yourself, grimacing at the dirt already adorning your sweater and jeans – not to mention your hands even after you wipe them in an old cloth – before you turn to stand face to face with Tony Starks widow. Her entire posture screams self-esteem. This is a woman, who has worked hard and knows exactly what sort of respect she deserves, someone stubborn enough to deal with NY’s former most notorious playboy. Even with dark circles around the eyes and sunken cheeks, Virginia Pepper Potts is a force of nature.

Silence stretches until it becomes unbearable, making you want to flee rather than do as you do: “Hi there, Mrs…Stark?”

“I…I kept my maiden name…” she trails off, gaze dancing between your dirty hands and your face.

You know she’s trying to find the similarities. Damn it, you’ve spent hours in front of mirrors doing the same, suddenly recognizing where you got your eyes from or the lopsided smile when something quietly amuses you.

“So…erm…I didn’t expect…” The words just don’t want to cooperate. “What can I do?”

“Right.” The pale woman manages to shake herself out of the stupor. “I understand you’ve not wanted to claim any inheritance now that…after…” Tears pool in her eyes regardless of the furious blinking, but Potts manages to hold them back. “I’ve been told you merely wanted to…see if it was right?”

Lamest reason ever, typical me. “I gueeess that’s the best way to put it,” you admit, “little too late but…” Flailing your arms, in the hopes the broken sentence makes sense.

“And what do you think?”

“Dunno…might just be ‘cause I’m looking for any resemblance and the wake…there was a lake in between…”

“But…”

There’s nothing accusatory about the question. In fact, it almost sounds kind as if she might care about your feelings. Why should she? An adult appears out of the blue, claiming to be the dead husband’s kid – it isn’t exactly something that people would want to deal with, she has every right to be on guard. But I just wanted to know….want to know if it’s true. Not to take anything from her or the daughter, Morgan, just to find some peace. Sneaking in on the draught is a chilled sense of righteousness, screaming at you that wanting to figure out your past isn’t a crime. With no way of moving forward it had made sense to look back, to search for some anchor to steady yourself by while the maelstrom of insecurity keeps trying to pull you in and drown you.

“Look,” you begin authoritatively, “I get I could’ve gone ‘bout this a million other ways if I’d had the right support or whatever, but I didn’t trespass…didn’t intend to interfere.” A delicate reddish eyebrow raises slowly but doesn’t deter you. “So it was foolish to turn up ‘cause what I needed to know wouldn’t be obvious even then, but it’s the closest I could get to anything…maybe feel something? I dunno how I thought I’d get the answers I needed. Need. Perhaps I’d’ve walked away without being any wiser if I hadn’t seen his…your daughter. Morgan.” Now both eyebrows have reached the hairline and the sharp eyes could freeze you on the spot. With a hammering heart, you try to explain: “You’ve got the files. You’ve seen the baby pictures of me. You know what I mean.”

For a few treacherous seconds, it’s as if Pepper Potts might end you then and there. But her entire demeanour changes, crumbles in on itself with a sigh as she sits down on an upturned barrel nearby. The barn creaks a bit as it settles under the weight of the snow. A few mice run through a sprinkle of blown away leaves or straw in a corner, but you can’t see them when you look. You’re still wringing the oily cloth between your fingers. Then you hear the sniffle, forcing you to look at the woman holding the secret of your past.

“Morgan…you…” Pepper hiccups into a neat handkerchief, “you look like T-Tony…a lot. But but you even s-sound like and to see you-u working on…”

A vague gesture towards the tractor behind you somehow manages to encompass everything from oil, tools, no, the whole concept of tinkering with machines lies within the unspoken words and hits you harder than expected because now you realize that you might have inherited more than Tony Stark’s looks. What else? Truth is, though, regardless which traits are similar…you will never get to see for yourself: the guy’s dead, apparently leaving two kids behind and a widow to try to deal with it all. What a jerk.

A tiny, broken laugh escapes Pepper. “I know that look too…you’re fee-eeling oh so righteous about something, not just for yourself. If you got the chance, like Tony, you’d try to find some way to fix it for everyone.”

“I don–“

“It’s okay, [Y/N].” Your name sounds oddly easy on her lips. Perhaps she notices too because she blushes. “Not everything can be…fixed…not without losing something else.”

There is no need to spell it out. Tony Stark helped sort the biggest mess in Earth’s history by not just undoing the Snappening but by ending the purple space-grape called Thanos. The bill for a repair like that is massive. The news of course are focused on the grander issues from the fall out such as the millions of homeless people and the food shortage now that there’s double the mouths to feed. But on a smaller scale people are still reeling from the shock, some mourn those that will never return. Tony Stark. Natasha Romanoff. There are more. Bright memories burning holes in the hearts of loved ones sitting behind.

What if they could be brought back too? If Clint could have his best friend again, or Morgan could have her dad? If I could…?

“Don’t start down that rabbit hole.” Pepper is somehow right before you, hands reaching for you shoulders slowly as if afraid you might not want to be touched, that you will run off. “It never ends. There’s no peace if you start.” The touch is light while the words are heavy.

Teeth dig sharply into the inside of your cheek before you can talk. “What…what should I do?” I’m not gonna cry now!

“Up to you…but maybe you’ll consider coming for a visit to begin with?”

…

By the time Clint comes over to fetch you for dinner, Pepper Potts has been gone for hours and the tractor’s old wiring is lying in a bundle on the work bench ready to be stripped and rewrapped after the rest of the repairs are sorted.

“Hm…guess it’s really happening,” the Avenger grumbles kindly, “the old machine’s gonna run.”

“It’s gonna take some more work, but yeah,” you smile even if only the engine can see it.

At least you can fix this. A small thing to be set right in the middle of a ruined world. Maybe you can repair more things – not just for the Bartons but for the others too? Rhodey’s legs had been whining, and there’s probably a lot of –

“Hey! You listening?”

Clint’s outburst makes you bump your head against the rust-spattered metal. Oops. The thought is repeated when you realize you’re rubbing the growing bump with your oily hand.

“What?”

“Goddamn it…are all Starks grease-heads?”

It stings and warms your heart simultaneously. “Dunno. What did I miss?”

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do with your life, ‘kay?” The mirth has drained from the eyes, making his alias seem extra fitting. “But I’d suggest you come inside…there’s food and other guests.”

“Who?”

“Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes.”

[ink-logging]

Detective Comics #1000, Chris Conroy & Dave Wielgosz, eds.: I bought this on impulse because it was on the new releases shelf and people were talking about Batman online. It’s a 100-page anthology tribute for the Batman character’s 80th year and the one thousandth issue of “Detective Comics”. I don’t think anyone is ever at their best in a tribute anthology, but that makes them kind of interesting to look at, you know? There are eleven stories, which I will now spoil in their entirety.

1. “Batman’s Longest Case”, Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia, Tom Napolitano: The first of two stories in which Batman is doing something that looks grim, but is actually happy and anniversary-ish - both with similar titles, and both from major Batman writers. This is the better one, because I think Capullo is an interesting artist. He’s comparable to Jae Lee, in that he’s someone who had some work in comics under his belt prior to being ushered into the second ‘generation’ of popular Image artists, and has continued to evolve quite vividly over the years. The Capullo of today dials up the use of shadows and silhouette that used to sort of decorate the folds of Spawn’s flowing cape and such - here, they’re used more to focus attention on storytelling fundamentals: geography; gesture; etc. I also generally like the colorist, FCO Plascencia, who’s done some Varleyesque color-as-mood work on earlier comics with this team, though the story here is subdued... very classy, dressed for the gala.   

Hints of ‘90s grotesquerie only pop up once Batman has solved a large number of flamboyantly abstruse riddles and discovered that the titular Longest Case is really an initiation test fronted by wrinkly old Slam Bradley, the original Siegel & Shuster-created star of “Detective Comics” back in 1937, who welcomes Batman to a Guild of Detection. This is clever of the writer, Scott Snyder, because Batman as a basic concept is hugely derivative of earlier pulp, detective and strip hero characters - and, if you’re being honest about paying homage to the character’s origins, you might as well play up lineage as your metaphor.

2. “Manufacture for Use”, Kevin Smith, Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Alex Sinclair, Todd Klein: In contrast, this story shoots for the quintessential. Smith, of course, is the filmmaker and longtime geek culture celebrity who’s written comics off and on, so maybe it’s his distance from the continuum of superhero writing that has inspired a short story that could have run as a backup in any Batman comic since the 1970s, give or take few cultural references. Matches Malone (Batman, when he is being an undercover cop) descends into the secretive world of true crime memorabilia to buy the gun that killed Bruce Wayne’s parents, which he then melts down to form the metal bat-symbol plate Batman wears on his chest, verily steeling his heart with the memory of this tragedy to fortify him in his neverending battle against crime! NANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAN! Jim Lee and his usual crew makes everything look like it’s ‘supposed’ to, provided you see this type of statuesque posing as the best sort of superhero art, which many DC comics readers presumably do, given how a lot of these things look.

3. “The Legend of Knute Brody”, Paul Dini, Dustin Nguyen, Derek Fridolfs, John Kalisz, Steve Wands: Dini has written tons of comics, with not a few of those drawn by Nguyen, but this feels mostly like DC1k (acronym’s resemblance to “DICK” a purely innocuous reference to Nightwing, I assure you) acknowledging the extensive legacy of “Batman: The Animated Series”, on which Dini was a writer and producer. The story takes the form of a biography of an infamously clumsy hired thug for supervillains, whom even the most novice reader will have figured out is a Batman Family asset about halfway down page 4 of 8, leaving a whole lot of laborious and narration-heavy slapstick to wade through. Admittedly, this might work better as an animated cartoon, with voice acting leavening the pace of the gags, but I’m also not sure ‘this would be better in a different art form’ is the impression superhero comics should be giving right now.

4. “The Batman’s Design”, Warren Ellis, Becky Cloonan, Jordie Bellaire, Simon Bowland: 

Most of the drawing in DC1k is the kind of stuff you can easily trace to a few popular and fairly narrow traditions of ‘realistic’ superhero art. Becky Cloonan is the only woman to draw an entire comic in here -- Joëlle Jones co-pencils a story with Tony Daniel later on, and Amanda Conner does a pinup, mind -- and her work is the only place in this book where you catch glimpses of a global popular comics beyond the superhero provinces in the Hewlettian wild eyes of the hapless human opponents of her Batman, lunging through velvet layers of cape and smoke, lipless mouth parted on a shōnen ai jaw. It is really very impressive. 

The writer, Warren Ellis, does a pathos-of-the-hard-man story, in which Batman explains his combat strategies via narration while carrying them out, occasionally making reference to the medical bills his prey will incur and their timely motivations as terroristic white men who feel ignored by the world, and at the end Batman asks the last guy U WANT TO LIVE IN MY NIGHTMARE, LITTLE BOY and the guy is like n- no dr. batman sir, and gives up because Batman’s is too dangerous and scary a life model. It is made clear from the text that Batman has programmed himself into a system of reactionary violence that he inevitably reinforces, but this message is so heavily sugared with cool action and tough talk that the reader can easily disregard such commentary, if so inclined, which has been a trait of Ellis’ genre comics writing since at least as far back as “The Authority” in the late 1990s. It fits Batman as naturally as the goddamned cowl.  

 5. “Return to Crime Alley”, Dennis O’Neil, Steve Epting, Elizabeth Breitweiser, ‘Andworld Design’: I was surprised that there weren’t other writers from across the Atlantic in DC1k, given the extensive contributions of Alan Grant and Grant Morrison to the character. I was maybe not as surprised to see Dennis O’Neil as the lone credited writer to pre-date the blood and thunder revolution of Frank Miller et al. in the mid-1980s, as that commercial shadow is far too long to escape. Of course, O’Neil was one of the architects of superhero comics as a socially relevant proposition and Batman as a once-again ‘serious’ character in the 1970s, and it may be a reflection of his standing as a patriarch that this story contains no sugar whatsoever: on the anniversary of his parents’ death, Batman is confronted by a childhood caregiver who has figured out his dumb secret identity, and castigates him for doing stupid shit like dressing up as an animal and punching the underclass when he could actually do something as a wealthy man to improve the world. Then Batman starts beating the shit out of young masked teens who have stolen a gun, after which Batman, who is also a masked thug, is told that he is, at best, a figure of pity. The end! 

What emerges from this story, to my eye, is that Batman is a terrible fucking idea if examined with any sort of serious realism - and Steve Epting draws the story as close to photorealism as anything in this book gets. I also think it is not insignificant that O’Neil, the writer here most unplugged from superhero comics as a commercial vocation, is the one to make these observations; to believe in superhero comics is to understand that there is play at the heart of these paper dolls, and to make your living from these things is to contemplate new avenues for play. Maybe Batman is dark, obsessive! Should he... kill? Sure, Bill Finger made him kill. The Shadow killed lots of dudes. So did Dick Tracy. Ramp up the verisimilitude too much, though, and you’ve got a guy wearing a hood going out by the cover of night to scare the shit out of superstitious cowards who’ve been taking from the good people of society, which, in terms of motivational narratives, is the same origin as the Ku Klux Klan. To play nonetheless, is the craftsman’s burden.

6. “Heretic”, Christopher Priest, Neal Adams, Dave Stewart, Willie Schubert: Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin, is veteran Batman artist and frequent Dennis O’Neil collaborator Neal Adams. And while Adams is not credited as the writer on this story, it bears all the hallmarks of his 21st century work at DC: whiplash pacing; uneasy expository dialogue; and eager callbacks to Adams’ earlier work. This is the Batman comic as a continuity-driven adventure, and I found it largely incomprehensible as a story, not unlike Adams’ recent “Deadman” miniseries. I still like his husky Batman, though. 

7. “I Know”, Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, Josh Reed: Hey, did you know Brian Michael Bendis, writer of approximately ten and one half zillion Marvel comics, is writing comics at DC these days? Here he teams with longtime collaborator Maleev for a story that brings to mind the old line from Grant Morrison’s & Dave McKean’s “Arkham Asylum” about Batman being the real person and the guy under the mask being the mask. The Penguin, of all villains, figures out Batman’s secret identity, but elects not to pursue Bruce Wayne in his private life, because destroying Bruce Wayne would create a pure Batman far too dark and twiztid for anyone to handle. Or, maybe that is all just an image the perfectly sane Batman has deliberately encouraged as part of his umpteenth contingency plan. I would argue that this is a gentle spoof of people taking Batman too seriously, which clicks with what I’ve read of Bendis’ idea of the character in those 100-page comics they sell at Walmart: a globetrotting detective-adventurer, appropriate for all ages. Bear in mind, I’ve read maybe 0.2% of all Brian Bendis comics.  

8. “The Last Crime in Gotham”, Geoff Johns, Kelley Jones, Michelle Madsen, Rob Leigh: Whoa, now we’re talking! Kelley Jones! Just look at this: 

Such totally weird stuff, coming from the artist who drew all those classic ‘90s covers with the huge bat-ears and wildly distorted musculature, the cape this absurd, unreal shroud. It looks like he’s working from photo reference with some of this comic, but also just tearing out these drawings of huge jawlines and shit, this total what-the-fuck-is-going-on haze, which perfectly matches Geoff Johns’ furiously ridiculous story about an elderly Batman and his wife, Catwoman, and their daughter, and Damian, and a dog, who all investigate a mass murder that turns out to be the Joker’s son committing suicide, and then Batman unplugs the Bat-Signal because crime is over in Gotham forever, and then we find out it’s all the birthday wish of Batman, who is blowing out the candles on his birthday cake, in costume, in the Batcave. Is “Doomsday Clock” like this? Should I pirate it??

9. “The Precedent”, James Tynion IV, Alvaro Martinez-Bueno, Raul Fernandez, Brad Anderson, Sal Cipriano: Inevitably, we come to the story that argues that Batman is actually a great guy, and his pressing of children into action as vigilantes under the cover of night is an amazingly positive thing. This is what I mean by “play” - it doesn’t literally make sense, we all know that, but if you buy into the superhero idea, you can buy into this universe of metaphor where the Batman Family is a vivification of finding your company of people, and belonging, and being loved. Lots of talk in here about snatching young people out of the darkness and forging them in light, and helping them find a better path - it sounds like Batman is signing these kids up for the Marine Corps, which is one of several organizations that recognizes the power of these arch-romantic impulses.

10. “Batman’s Greatest Case.”, Tom King, Tony S. Daniel, Joëlle Jones, Tomeu Morey, Clayton Cowles: This is just unbearable. Oh god, what absolute treacle. It’s the second story in this book about Batman being serious and mysterious, but it turns out something nice is going on - he really just wants a photo of the whole Batman Family, because he lost his family when his parents got shot, but then he cracked his greatest case by finding a new family, which is the Batman Family!

All of this is communicated via clipped dialogue in which various Batman Family superheroes trade faux-awkward quips and cutesy ‘moments’ that are supposed to embody the endearing traits of the characters, but read as the blunt machinations of art that is absolutely desperate to be liked. This is art that is weeping on my shoulder and insisting I am its friend, and I want to get away from it, immediately. Tom King is the most acclaimed superhero writer of this generation, and I can only presume his better work is elsewhere.

11. “Medieval”, Peter J. Tomasi, Doug Mahnke, Jaime Mendoza, David Baron, Rob Leigh:

Finally, we have the obligatory story-that-leads-into-next-issue’s-serial, thereby demonstrating that Batman endures. It’s done as a series of 12 splash pages, depicting Batman in battle with his greatest foes, and it benefits immeasurably from the presence of artist Doug Mahnke (some inks by Jaime Mendoza), whose been a favorite of mine since those early, blood-splattered issues of “The Mask” at Dark Horse decades ago. Broadly speaking, Mahnke is working in a similarly muscular vein as many contributors to DC1k, but his sense of composition, of spectacle -- that boot-in-the-face energy the British call thrill-power -- adds an important extra crackle, and an element of humor; his Batman looks like a hulking maniac dressed in garbage bags, beating the shit out of monster after leering monster. What we are seeing is the fevered imagining of a new villain, the Arkham Knight (a variant of a character introduced in a video game), whom writer Peter J. Tomasi characterizes via the old trick of having the villain narrate to us a bunch of familiar criticisms of the hero, which the hero will presumably react to and overcome, or acknowledge in an interesting way, or something, in future installments. This probably would have worked better if other stories in this book hadn’t already made a lot of the same points in a manner that is not an advertisement for the rebuttal of those points... or if I were even capable of reading a story like this without imagining a final dialogue bubble coming in from off-panel going “SIR, THIS IS A BURGER KING DRIVE-THRU.” But something’s gotta go in issue #1001.

-Jog

[daydreamindollie]

Feast Your Eyes | k.nj x f.r

Pairing: k.nj x f.r

Genre: n a u g h t y....

Length: 3k

Quick Summary: The sensation it brought you to stare at his delightfully tensing, lean physique through the crack of his door - carelessly left ajar - was more than addictive. 

A/N: First of all, I really have to apologise because this is my first time writing something naughty and so close to smut. I had more planned but I was really unsure about how it would turn out so you could say that this is a little tester. If you guys like it or have any idea of how you want the fic to continue then don’t be afraid to tell me and I’ll get to work on, maybe, a part 2???? 

Constructive critisim is always helpful too as I am still working on my writing style. Thank you! 

Anyway, this was requested by a doll of an Anon. Thank you for the request Dollface, I hope this is to your liking. I apologise for the extended wait. Much love x 

W A R N I N G S: voyeurism, masturbation...nakednessssss...

There it was again...the groans and moans of your roommate - Kim Namjoon. 

This wasn’t the first time you had entered the modest space of your modern apartment, only to be greeted by the sinfully delicious sounds that your sexy, sharp roommate emitted when doing the deed, ‘alone’. You could deem this to be, perhaps, the sixth time already. It wasn’t a general, reoccurring event as those occurrences were spaced out over several months; lengthy weeks stretching the intervals between each one. Personally, you had wished for it to be a more frequent event. Having it be a rare circumstance gave you immoral desires but they can’t be helped. 

The sensation it brought you to stare at his delightfully tensing, lean physique through the crack of his door - carelessly left ajar - was more than addictive. 

‘He’s so beautiful’ was always the first thought that verbalised itself in your clouded mind. Everything else disappears and it’s just you and himhimhim. Biting your lip, you smothered a moan as the male, through the crack of the door, whimpered helplessly under the searing touch of red-hot pleasure. ‘How sexy can he get?’ was your second thought, drinking in the erotic expression he was shamelessly displaying in his demeaning condition. The next thought would be: ‘he’s so big...’ as your eyes made their usual route down, from his bliss-compressed countenance, down his (unfortunately) dressed torso, before greedily devouring the image of his solid member. The tip was a painful, swollen pink colour, supported by an impressive length that strained and pulsed with prominent veins. 

You licked your lips. ‘I wonder what it would feel like to trace those veins with my tongue...’. Sometimes, you couldn’t believe how vulgar your thoughts suddenly became at the sight of him in such a state. Every male would’ve gone through the same thing Namjoon was doing, but you know for a fact that he’s affecting you more than any other man could. It’s no surprise either, you’ve always been acutely aware that you’ve had this adoration towards him ever since the day you met. 

It all started based on his appearance. His hair always looked so much more well kept than yours, like fine, silk strands with the volume of fluffy clouds. Naturally, you would often find yourself wanting to comb your fingers through his mass of dyed locks. The skin he had, stretched over lean (but not over the top) muscles, was blemish free and smooth looking, igniting deep jealousy inside you. It was a serious offence as you are someone that’s constantly battling a moody epidermis; sprouting pimples here, there and everywhere, whenever possible. His eyes were gentle but fierce, his lips plump and kissable, a perfect combination to have for each minor but significant feature. Above all, however, was his voice, the pièce de résistance, so creamy-smooth, and possessing the texture of burnished satin. Subsequently, the two of you spent many times together, and you’ve slowly grown a fondness of his variable personality also: silly yet responsible, witty but also earnest, humorous and ethereal. A whole package that you had all to yourself, but only as a roommate. A fact you scoffed at. 

Were you ever going to get out of such a basic ranking? 

Dismissing that thought, you continued to indulge in the rare, but commonplace act Namjoon (Joonie) was participating in as a pool of stickiness accumulated at the flimsy fabric you had covering your weeping nether-regions. You hoped and wished that the sight would persist without ever ending. Nevertheless, such a fancy for an impossible deed was not permitted and you found yourself sighing in disappointment almost as heavily as your breathing became when ogling the episode that had played out before you. Joonie had met his end soon enough, sighing between laboured breaths upon shooting his load onto the sheets of his single bed. It was over far too soon. 

Suppressing the urge to complain openly, you quietly rushed to the front door in order to make it look as if you had just gotten back.

“I’m home!” you announced after opening and slamming the door from inside. 

“W-Welcome home!” there was a faint kerfuffle from the end of the hallway, tugging a smirk of mischief at your rosy lips as you imagined your sticky roommate scrambling around in order to look presentable. 

“What are you up to?” you hummed with innocent curiosity, already knowing the answer. 

“I’m about to take a shower!” 

“Oh alright! I’m starving so I’m going to cook!” making your way into the kitchen, you rummaged around, finding just about enough ingredients to make two servings of a decent meal, “Want me to make you something too?” 

“That’d be great! Thanks (Y/N)!” 

“No problem Joonie!” 

Saturdays were your respite. You would sleep in, share a large brunch with your coquettish roommate before utilising the rest of day’s hours, whether it be through binge eat whilst indulging in K-dramas, reading a book, getting lost in music and dance or going out with your girls. They were the days where the world was appointed to be your oyster. The former of those activities was a very favoured matter of business between you and Joonie so the two of you would, at least, watch a couple together, even if there was something urgent that either of you would have to do - watching K-dramas in each other’s company was always the most important on Saturdays. 

You’ve wanted to become more productive with your time, however, and had expressed this to Namjoon, who suggested limiting the time spent watching the dramas. 

“What are you going to be doing today?” Namjoon hummed curiously from across the table, he already knew the answer but wondered if you really were planning on doing something else. 

“Hmm...” you stopped for a moment of thought, “I have no idea!” you giggled, already adapting to the careless ambience of the day but leaving you open to your choices, earning a deep chuckle. The smoothness of the sound forced your crossed thighs to clench under the shocks of electricity that dared to strike and heat up your already melting core. It was a horrible habit for your brain to turn his chuckles into laboured moans that instantly generated heat deep within you. 

“You haven't decided whether or not you wanted to follow through with your pledge of productiveness then, huh?.” it was a playful jeer, you knew that but his eyes seemed somewhat predatory as he took a tantalising swig of his black coffee, allowing you to meekly watch; his jugular rocked back and forth upon the vertical length of his thick neck as a seductive gulp penetrated your sensitive hearing. More electrifying pleasure shot through you, sending your body jolting forward and almost hitting the underside of the table with your knee. “Is something wrong?” he quipped a curious brow as a teasing tongue peeked past two soft, rosy rims, lapping at the bitter residue upon the pinkness of his lips. 

“Oh, nothing. I actually just realised what I’ve wanted to do with my time.” you lied with a quivering tongue. 

“And what’s that?” he smiled thinly. 

“Binge eat through K-dramas!” you announce as he laughed heartily, “Care to join me in my new pledge of unproductiveness?” your eyes fluttered playfully in a nonverbal invitation. 

“I’ll have to take care of some things first but I’ll be sure to join you as soon as I can.” 

Suppressing a squeal, you allowed only your eyes to reflect the light of your excitement, “Great! I’ll make sure to get your favourite snacks too when I head out for a quick trip to the corner store, then.”

“Thanks.” 

After finishing up your brunch and helping to wash and dry the dishes, you quickly got ready for a step outside before making your way to the door with your keys and purse, where you announced your leaving. There was a brief, nonchalant response from Namjoon’s room, hinting at his current occupation. A trait you really admire about him - his dedication and smartness.

There were plenty of snacks to choose from when you arrived at your destination but you made sure to get an equal amount of yours and Namjoon’s favourites, landing you with a decent variety of sweet and savoury treats. Grinning to yourself, you rushed to pay for the refreshments piled up high in your arms and raced to your shared apartment, where you began setting everything up, understanding that Namjoon might extend his absence in your day-long session of K-drama watching.

He’s a very dedicated soul and you don’t want to get in between him and his studies, which were - basically - his passions. You still hope for his company as soon as possible though. It’s so much more enjoyable with him at your side; you can have someone to cuddle with for the times when you’d get sad or would genuinely crave the heat of another person. 

Like most of your previous sessions, you were reduced to a sobbing mess at times, brought up to hysterics at others, made fuming angry at particular characters that you hold a passionate hatred towards, whilst also being silently content at cute moments. Despite your enjoyment, however, your gaze would, more often than not, wander past the screen of the TV in order to face the clock hung up high. It’s late, really late, and yet, Namjoon still hadn’t shown up to fulfil his word. Granted, he had stepped out several times, seeking food or any cooling beverages, where you’d offer him a sample of your displayed snacks but that was it. There was a dwindling hope that grew weak inside you, optimising that the light meal you were able to offer the male would lure him out of the confines of his monopolising room. 

As the clock ticked past the latest hour and your final episode for the night came to an end, you began tidying up, throwing away empty packets of plastic and sweeping up stray crumbs. Banishing your dilating dismay at Namjoon’s broken promise, you realised that you needed a bath as you frowned at the settled sweat and dried tears caking your complexion. There was no urgency to wake up early for tomorrow, so you’d be able to wallow in a warm vanilla-scented bubble bath before going to bed and sleeping dreamlessly. 

Humming softly to yourself, you purged your mind of everything that had to do with your roommate, succumbing to a state of passive aggressiveness, and set about preparing your bath. 

As the harsh rapping of lukewarm water pounded against the tub, slowly climbing up the bath’s volume, Namjoon was snapped awake, blinking his eyes with exponential fullness. Coming to his senses and adjusting to his surroundings, curses spitefully clicked his tongue against rows of pearly-white teeth when staring up at the tired clock - ticking away precious seconds, minutes and hours. 

He must’ve fallen asleep when going over his material for the final time. There was a genuine intention in his promise because the K-drama session was made into a ritual between the two of you. It was a practice that you both would participate in (every Saturday) and after months of a constant streak, that you had encouraged and made into a habitual occurrence, he had been the first to break it alongside a promise that he made empty. 

Cautiously stepping into the small living room, Namjoon expected to see you, asleep on the sofa as it was your habit to end up sleeping as a way of concluding the session. Instead, he found the space to be vacant of anything: of you, of store-bought snacks and piled-high CDs. You’re definitely going to be having a grudge against him and he hated that. You were, in some ways, closer to him than any of his other 6 friends and the two of you also live together, it’s only going to be tense and awkward if he doesn’t apologise with absolute validity - which he’s sure he’ll be able to express because he was an authentic man.

With the sound of running water, he had been minorly aware of, the male soon came to the conclusion that you’re probably taking a bath and decided to apologise when you were finished; he didn’t want this to extend into the next day so he’ll wait up for you to finish. 

Slowly dipping into the comforting water, you breathed a sigh and began playing around with the bubbles. Humming filled the air again as you lathered your body - anything to keep your mind from straying out of it’s fixed path of resentment, but you were always thinking of the male, no matter what you did. He had taken over your mind with his cute-ass dimple smile, goddamn velvet voice and his scandalous yet sophisticated demeanour. 

You moaned as wandering hands trailed down your curves to roughly caress your sensitivity. Biting your lip, you imagined his proficient hands replacing your incompetent ones and shamelessly wonder about what magic he’ll be able to cast. Surely, one that matched his unique appeal. Whimpering from your dainty fingers teasingly poking at your entrance, you imagined his dominance and tongue, he’d undoubtedly have you begging from a simple touch and the thought set the deepest pits of your dripping cavern on fire. 

How disgraceful...

Before a hand could curve over and fondle the eminence of your breasts, the angel on your right shoulder took control and went to unplug the tub for several moments, stopping halfway just to refill the bath with cold water. That'll teach you a lesson and keep you from your arousals. The bath wasn’t as enjoyable but, at the very least, you were able to calm down. 

It wasn’t until past midnight that you decided to step out in only a small towel and with your hair up in a turban that was already getting to work on absorbing the unwanted moisture in your hair. 

In a twist of fate, you walked straight into the person you had sworn to distance yourself from. With a shriek of surprise, you jumped back, almost crashing into an antique vase that housed an array of flowers atop an elegant, polished table. Fuelled by adrenaline, Namjoon snatched a hold of your forearm and pulled you into his chest, saving you but resulting in the two of you toppling over and into an immodest position - you hovering above him as your towel-turban came undone.

With baited breath, you stared down at the man you’ve mentally claimed to be the world’s sexiest creature; someone you’ve admired greatly for his success in life; a guy with surprisingly, rather similar interests to your own; someone that you’ve grown disreputable fantasies over and a man that you’re unravelled towel has forced you to show your naked body to. 

“Damn...” he cursed, biting his lip with eyes sinfully wandering soft curves. 

Never has it ever been this awkward between the two of you, even when you found out that you’d have to be roommates in a quaint apartment just at the edge of campus. It was fathomable, the petty inconvenience, but that was a time where you weren’t only shoulder-to-shoulder with vex towards the male’s broken promise but were now attempting to repress the redness of embarrassment that kept trying to dominate the hue of your cheeks. 

“I-I’m sorry about yesterday (Y/N).” he mused with timid sincerity over your plate of breakfast. As much as you’d love to discuss his atypical display of personal defect the previous day, you’d much rather avoid the topic. 

“Y-yeah...” you forced through clenched teeth before getting up and making your way to the door with your body fully dressed for your part-time job. Upon slipping your shoes on, you made your usual announcement: “I’m off.” 

Namjoon stared at the unfinished, barely touched plate of breakfast he had worked so hard in making, your plate and his were practically the same in the unwanted condition of their contents. He wasn’t in the mood to eat unless you were consuming a meal your stomach was usually more than greedy to digest. Who was he to think that you would forgive him over a simple plate of breakfast? He wasn’t even a good cook - the two of you knew that - and upon sampling a bite of what he had made, there was an instant wince at the blandness and odd texture.

“Fuck..me...” he cursed breathlessly, only cursing himself further when he helplessly allowed his mind to have devilish thoughts over last night’ s occurrences. 

Today, you were getting off work early, it was an offer your boss had given you a week ago when praising your high-level of service, at the time, it was an offer you didn’t dare decline but, now, under your current circumstances, you’d much rather not go home. There was nothing for you to do though; your friends were either working or hitting the books. 

...Perhaps Namjoon isn’t at home and maybe he’s at the library studying. 

Remaining sanguine, you slowly made your way home, walking slower than your average walking speed and possibly irritating some people in the process. Fuck them whispering about your slowness. You weren’t in the mood today so they can go suck it. 

When you finally reached your door, you silently stepped inside and crept through the halls whilst whispering out to a person that you’re hoping isn’t there. 

“Namjoon?” you called softly.

“Ahh~” 

This was odd. 

He already had a private session only a few days ago and he was already at it again, usually, he would be sated enough to last several weeks but apparently not this time - you wonder why that is. 

Your mind completely disregarding the events of last night, you made your way through the narrow hall once more ending at Namjoon’s door and your eyes immediately widened at the fact that he had been cautious enough to have the door shut completely. This was very very odd. 

What’s gotten into him?

“(Y-Y/N)~” he panted as your mouth parted in disbelief. “Fuck- baby~AH!”

Never before had the touch of magma slicked your nether lips so- 

Many times you’ve imagined him moaning your name and now that he has, all you want is moremoremore...

Again, if you guys want a part 2 or something, please say something. Or if you have any ideas of what I should happen next, message me! I just might include your fantasies *winkwonk* 

BUT, if you don’t like it then tell me as well - as long as it’s constructive please - just go easy on me; it’s my first smutty-ish fic. 

Thank you Dolls! 

masterlist

[opendoorlorien]

I like reading ur char analysis and would love to see u write on abt ur man (Kaze) ;3c

So…my precious Kaze… He’s…cute…lovely…smart… adorable…irresistible…plus…amazing… Don’t you think so? Oh, so…wild…beautiful…kind… I love him! Hug him… He’s warm and cuddly… Oh, he’s…spectacular…captivating…simply divine… I treasure him… Oops! Look at the time! I’ve kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out.

Generally I think there’s a difference between characters that are fleshed out and characters who go through actual development. Yes, many times those things coincide, but in Fire Emblem, if you’re not a main character, they usually don’t.

Basically none of the cast of Awakening “developed” in any real sense. Like I mentioned before there were some characters who had little moments or bursts of it (like Chrom and some villains) but no gradually, building arc for any of them. Instead most of Awakening’s cast was fleshed out instead of developed. Meaning, the more supports you saw of them, the more you learned about them (like backstory, where they came from, what they want, ect). There are a lot of characters who have simple archetypes on the outside, but actually have a lot of layers and details to them the further you look, like Henry, Lon'qu, Virion ect.

I believe Kaze is one of the non royal characters in Fates who is not only very well fleshed out, but also goes through some nice character development. Like I said before, Fates did a little better on the character development front with its cast than Awakening. Disregarding the royals, there are some regular units who go places too. The only ones I can think of who go through any real development ON SCREEN are Flora, Gunter and Kaze. Flora and Gunter’s development mostly leads to a bad end (Gunter’s end in Revelations is kind of bitter sweet but I find it a tad more tragic and bitter than anything, though he is sort of heal now and put some demons to rest at least). While Kaze, instead, can have either good end or bad end depending on what YOU do. Which is kinda nice, you know. His character development is interactive lol.

There are also characters like Jakob or Hinoka who go through character development OFF SCREEN which we only find out about in supports and is only told to us. And I dont find these anywhere near as powerful because we dont get to see them happen, not that they’re bad or anything, but lack a bit of poignancy because of how they’re displayed to the audience as told instead of shown.

I’ve heard Kaze described before as a deceptively complex character, and he REALLY is. At first glance he seems like a very simple and straightforward character with a personality to match. But take this from someone who hyper focuses on him, that the more you look into him, the more little quirks and details you begin to find. (Or maybe I can just see it because I’m reading too deep into him lol) Either way, I wouldn’t consider it REACHING at all to call Kaze a complex character. And there’s more to him than just his relationship to Corrin too, but just a bit. Because, of course, Kaze is very largely defined and effected by Corrin AND–as I will be referring to it as–his one big fuck up in Cheve.

But setting Corrin and the effects of that fuckup aside, Kaze’s stoic and serious personality is mainly derived from him being raised from birth to be a human weapon owned and used by nobility, which is basically what a hoshidan ninja is. But out of the three ninjas in Fates, I think Kaze ended up as the most emotionally well off. And I think the biggest defining reason for that is because he didn’t have anything big to live up to. Saizo was messed up personality and emotionally wise because he was groomed from day one to take up the family name, and similarly Kagero fights as a ninja in place of her sickly brother and as to not disappoint her family and bring shame to them. But because Kaze doesnt really have anything like this, I believe his upbringing was a taaaad more chill, and because of that while he does seem emotionally stunted and a little robotic, he still ends up being the most personable, friendly and sociable of the three ninjas. (And I think he’s kind to others and goes out of his way to help them for another reason too but more on that later)

Okay so you can’t really talk about Kaze without also talking about Corrin. Because the shit that happened in Cheve FUCKED HIM UP and pretty much fundamentally changed and made him into who he is today, and the majority of his personality traits can be traced back to that incident. Now why did it fuck Kaze up so bad? A lot of reasons really. Firstly–the big one–he failed his duty. Not only as a retainer (it wasn’t official yet, but it was his JOB then to protect Corrin) but also as a ninja who, remember, are manufactured from day 1 to serve as weapons or menial otherwise for the royal family. So failing in his duty here was an extreme failing for him on almost every aspect as a person. And this is a big blow for him emotionally as well because Kaze is not heartless here, and this fuckup lead not only to Corrin being captured but to Sumeragi being killed as well. It was, in essence, the ultimate failing (if it sounds like I’m blaming him here, I’m not. I honestly think Garon would have found a way to fuck shit up whether Kaze had noticed those soldiers in Cheve or not. But from his eyes, this is how he sees things)

This affected Kaze so deeply that he furthermore refers to this failing as a ‘grave sin’ he’s committed, and one that he believes he can’t and has no right to be forgiven for. The loss of Corrin and Sumeragi then by extension created a huge avalanche effect by ripping a huge hole in the hearts of the Hoshidan family and the country itself, which I’m sure Kaze got to see the full and gradual effects of as the years went by. Ouch. (I’m sure he’s very aware of Sakura’s anxiety and Takumi’s many many issues being after effects of what went down in Cheve also.) AND WAIT, it GETS WORSE. As if this wasn’t bad enough for Kaze who, REMEMBER, was a child at the time, probably no older than 15, knew that Corrin was also being taken away to Nohr. Which is a country he’s only ever heard bad things about, so he had no reason to believe Corrin wasn’t suffering and going through hell there, which in his mind would have been HIS FAULT. (And if he heard any of Azura’s firsthand account horror stories of the place, he had no reason not to believe that Nohr was a hellhole.) So add that to the guilt

So basically, this was the worst thing that could have happened for everyone involved (sans for Garon, or maybe even the Nohr family because they got a nice new sibling) but for Kaze and the Hoshidans? This was beyond rock bottom. It’s no wonder Kaze as a character is so largely defined and also deeply wounded by this incident.

In Kaze’s eyes he’s 100% to blame here, and because he believes he can never be forgiven for this act, he thinks the only way to atone for it is to die. In fact he probably went to Mikoto right after everything went down, told her what happened and insisted on the death penalty. But of course Mikoto is a nice lady so she said pish posh to that Kaze, forgave him, and tried to get him to keep living. Now even though Kaze wants to die, he’s not just going to sudoku or throw his life away needlessly.

To atone for this sin he knows he’d need to give his life away for a reason or an honorable purpose. So instead of just dying he does continue to live, and uses his life for the betterment of others. And this is where his constantly friendly and helpful attitude comes from. Okay now I DO fully believe Kaze is honestly just a nice guy and enjoys helping people, but I also think he makes an effort to go OUT of his way to help people as his own way of atoning for that one big failing even just a little. Like his worth is defined by how he assists others and improves their lives, whether he’s entirely aware of that or not. If he is able to make someone happy and improve their QoL, then it means he’s not an entirely useless failing of a person and a ninja like he thinks he is.  

This is also why in turn Kaze has such a low opinion of himself. I don’t think its something you really notice till you take a closer look at his supports and things, but every now and then he drops off handed derogatory comments about himself. That he’s just ‘a lowly ninja’, he humbly denies any praise sent his way just writing it off as “what I did was nothing special”, he marks himself as a determent to things even when he wasn’t. Because of what happened in Cheve, he doesn’t see any worth in himself.

(^he’s talking about chapter 4 here, where he showed up in the map with VULNEARIES for you. So he was only an asset, and yet)

(+this is also why Kaze doesn’t like the affections he gets from random women. THEY see his charm, but he doesn’t. And he doesnt see WHY they think so highly of him. He doesn’t think he deserves the praise and being showered with it makes him feel uncomfortable and upset. Since how can he be a good man when, in his eyes, he’s done so muhc wrong) 

So while Kaze is actually a very nice, sweet, helpful and kind well meaning guy, he actually has a REALLY deep self loathing and low opinion of himself. He’s kind of in an eternal rut that he can’t get out of, and doesn’t believe he deserves to get out of. So the only way to really get him out of it is of course Corrin. And luckily they run back into each other again very early on in Fates. Even though Kaze successfully helps in bringing Corrin back home to Hoshido, he’s still not completely healed here yet because his real issues havent really been addressed and RESOLVED. Corrin is back but they still dont know about Kaze’s involvement during that night in Cheve. And Kaze wants to tell them. He wants to let Corrin know about the whole deal (since Kaze is the kind of person who believes talking and communicating about your problems is the healthy and beneficial thing to do–like its one of the main things he does in his support with Saizo) but of course while the wound has kind of closed, it still hurts. He’s perfectly happy with being cordial and friendly with Corrin, but he doesn’t want to open up to Corrin too much because he’s super afraid that if Corrin finds out about what happened in Cheve, then Corrin would hate him. Which is why in their support he goes to lengths to avoid telling Corrin about it.

Their support is really special to me because it addresses a lot of Kaze’s deep rooted personal issues in which NO OTHER Kaze support even attempts at. Think about it, pretty much EVERY single other Kaze support is about Kaze helping someone else. But in Corrin and Kaze’s support, it’s about Corrin helping HIM, which is what he NEEDS more than anything. And it starts simple at first too, like with Corrin noticing he has a low opinion of himself and trying to show him “the good in himself” which he FERVENTLY believes he doesn’t have. 

So when Corrin keeps telling him he’s a good person, it actually really upsets him (to the point he’s actually angry??????!!!!! which I think is one of the only occasions in game or any other supports Kaze gets even close to being miffed. Which I think goes to show just how deeply this shit affected him right).

Corrin isnt upset that Kaze got mad with them, but Corrin realizes they bugged Kaze in one way or another so backs off. But Kaze felt super bad about it, so in the A rank he decides to GET THIS SHIT ALL TOGETHER AND TELL CORRIN EVERYTHIN. Luckily for him Corrin is a good person and also pure of heart (and can see everything was just a REALLY bad turn of Fate, not one individual person’s fault) so they IMMEDIATELY forgive him and tell him something important he REALLY needed to hear all these years. 

That from the person he failed that night, everything that happened wasn’t his fault.

Corrin encourages him to come to terms with everything and move forward from it. And this is where the concept of Kaze giving his life for Corrin “splits”. 

I mentioned earlier Kaze has good end character development and bad end character development. If you get his A rank in every route then GOOD FOR YOU, he’s healed! So now instead of dying to atone for his sin, he decides to devote his life to your well being and happiness (Giving Kaze heal settles him back into the place where he was always meant to be, as Corrin’s retainer. He even says in the A rank that, while he was meant to be a servant and retainer, he was never given a single master to serve like Saizo and everyone else had. And AS a person who was RAISED to be a kind of living weapon or tool, this really disconcerned him. He had no one and nothing to specifically devote to. It’s like he was a tool made for a certain purpose, but that purpose was taken away. So imagine the years he must have spent living in the castle, seeing all the retainer and lord squads together and feeling a sense of loss and emptiness in himself because he didn’t have that and he didn’t know why. I think even the Hoshido family, whether they know it conciously or not, kind of see him as an odd one out and I don’t think they really knew what to do with him aside from menial bitch work like delivering letters and crap.SMH

Anyway, now that he’s got you again his PURPOSE has returned. And he reminds you whenever he can, whether you’re married to him or not, that his life is YOURS now and he’ll give it up if necessary to keep you going.

And he will and DOES.

Now while Kaze still readily says he’ll give his life for you, I think its said in a better spirit than it was pre-healing. I think the difference is illustrated very well in the good end and bad end of Birthright chapter 15.

Where if he’s NOT healed his only thoughts are to get you out of this alive, himself be damned. (He’s also really emotional at the time and not thinking very clearly because of…….obvious circumstances. So in the short window he has, the question is posed to him “save Corrin or save yourself” and of course he gives himself to save Corrin (which I think is even more super interesting if you consider that you married him to someone else who isnt Corrin. Because in this moment, no matter WHO Kaze is married to, if he didn’t get that A rank with Corrin, he is going to die here. Corrin is the only thing that can keep him alive here, and when push comes to shove, Kaze throws away >everything

While if he IS healed Kaze has put most of the emotional anguish and baggage behind him so he is able to think through the tense situation of dangling off a cliff 500000000000000000 miles in the air, and find a way to save THE BOTH of you. Which is definitely the most definitive example between healed!Kaze and nothealed!Kaze. (Although I still do think if it came down to it, he’d still risk everything for Corrin’s life, even if that meant sacrificing his own. It’s just now throwing his life away isnt at the forefront of his mind.)

So with Birthright out of the way, what about that Conquest! Now of course Conquest is a super interesting route for Kaze too because it puts him in another kind of extreme situation. And that is him leaving everything that he ever knew and loved in Hoshido to help you, fight for the dream you believe in, and assist you in achieving your goals. And yes this is another way of Kaze trying to atone for his sin. I think it’s at least half the reason he decides to defect and join you, but he also says he felt your conviction when you fought, and he firmly believes in your justice, and that you are fighting for the betterment of everyone. So he’s not entirely fighting for ONLY you here, but fighting to help you achieve peace in the way you’ve chosen, by going to Nohr.

Kaze is interesting in both routes but I think he’s slightly more interesting in Conquest, and also because BR treats him like he’s dead after ch15 even if you kept him alive.

In Conquest Kaze has two interesting moments, one in chapter 11 where he makes the choice to turn his back on everything in Hoshido for you and go to your side. And in the ninja cave chapter later on in Conquest where we run into Saizo. Which is a nice chapter and I think is executed MUCH better than the Mokushoku crap in Birthright. Firstly because Saizo tells Kaze and the audience that Kotaro is the one who killed their father, which in BR you only find out if you send Saizo to personally engage the dude. And because of that in Conquest, I like to make a point to have Kaze blow the guy’s shit to pieces. 

hehe get fucked

BUT post-battle we have a small neato moment too where Corrin expresses regret and says to Kaze “if you hadn’t come with me then you wouldn’t have to fight against Hoshido and your brother.”btw briefly touching on Saizo and Kaze here, or at least how Kaze feels about him. Even though they’re not super personal and close with each other, of COURSE they love each other they’re gd family. I think Kaze’s feelings toward Saizo are mostly respect and admiration. Kaze says in the drama CD he thinks very highly of Saizo and nothing will ever change that. Even if they are enemies, Kaze does what needs to be done to achieve the peace he believes in, and the peace Corrin is fighting for.And that’s what he tells Corrin. Both Hoshido and Nohr are fighting for what they believe to be “justice” (

There’s also the interesting possible circumstance of this happening

This has the potential to be a really interesting scene in A LOT of ways (like, think about this for a sec. Not only is Kaze killing his brother, he’s also taking the Saizo name down with it). So we could have got some neat dialogue or a cutscene here to explore this scene a bit, but unfortunately they were making three games here and this ALREADY happens in late game conquest, so unfortunately the developers just didnt have the time or energy to give us a good scene here.And I get it, like, not everyone is going to have Kaze kill Saizo here. It would have been nice if they got one short exchange here. But, I guess that’s what fanfictions are for.

Now with all of THAT out of the way.

How do I personally feel about Kaze? WELL OHOHOHO*SCREAMS FOR 5 YEARS*

For me, personally. Kaze just does everything in the right way. I’ve had a lot of husbands over the years who I’ve loved in varying states of intensity and over varying periods of time. But I feel like none of those old hoes comes anywhere close to the ‘perfect blend of everything right’ that is Kaze.

If he were a cake he’d be the perfectly made chocolate cake. Sure chocolate cake seems kinda average and “the usual” at first, but imagine you had one which just had the PERFECT amount of everything prepared in the absolute perfect way to the best effect, and the more you dug into it you found like a gooey strawberry center which made the flavor all the more complex and interesting.

Kaze also subverts VERY many of the pitfalls that have made me fall out of older husbands that had similar archetypes to him.

I like serious characters but not characters who are TOO serious (Lonqu suffers from this, and, looking back, Frederick is VERY rigid). But with Kaze? DW ABOUT THAT because he has a spicy and playful side. And he’s also CHILL.

Kaze seems almost obsessively devoted to Corrin which could potentially lead to bad end yandere? DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY A WHOLESOME PUREBOY who respects personal boundaries and doesn’t want to be smothering.

With his personality he might be boring and not go anywhere as a character? (Frederick was kind of like this) DONT WORRY WE’VE GOT A++++ DEVELOPMENT and putting him in interesting character situations.

And any other issue I can think of for not liking Kaze is always subverted in a similar sense. Just everything he does… he does it so right. He may not be a big main character and he may not be pushed to any extreme radical limits like he potentially could be or like some other characters are like Takumi or Xander (again, another place for fanfics) THAT DONT MATTA TO ME BECAUSE HE IS A BEST.

Honestly he’s probably the best husband I’ve ever had and while I generally am fickle and my opinions on things can usually waver and change, I do really hope this love lasts a long, long time.  IM ALSO CRYING.

[kardemomme-kisses-archive]

i've seen a lot of ur ideas on characters like sana isak and vilde but is there something extra u can say abt eva's underrated character? is there any special moments you really liked with her, is there any part of her characterization that you could talk on and on about? i rrly like eva and i hardly ever seen in depth convos abt her character or even just a few gifs that show the complexity of her character

I feel you anon, I feel you. There can never be enough discussion about her (and sadly, there usually isn’t which is more than a little perplexing to me seeing as she’s such a multi-dimensional character with a fully fledged arc who undergoes tremendous growth and imparts so many significant messages).

More under the cut because apparently I am not familiar with the meaning of brevity.

So, let’s talk about Eva Kviig Mohn. Eva, who started this series feeling so soul-crushingly lonely, with a boyfriend who as much as I love him when it came to his priorities back in their first year he wasn’t very attentive to her and her wishes. It always felt like there was this invisible line between her and Jonas’s friends whenever they were in the same room, a line she never fully crossed because she was never really integrated into their group. And really, this was all Eva wanted back then - a place to belong, to be a part of something, friends to have sleepovers with and share secrets and hushed confessions, maybe drink a little too much and dance together under bright lights and swirling colours. Even more so, she wanted the warmth of someone’s arm around her shoulders when she was feeling stressed about her grades plummeting, terrified that she could feel the boy she fell for slipping away from her  so cold inside that big old empty house …And the worst part about Eva’s situation is that she did have that once, and it went so much deeper beyond just hanging out together. Not when ingrid  befriended Eva accepted her into her circle and stood up for her during a very difficult period in her life.  Eva lost that the day she picked Jonas over Ingrid and I think that a part of hers will always be plagued by self doubt because was this really the right decision? Has she ruined this friendship for good? What if she’ll never have anything like that again? 

Let’s talk about Eva and one of the first friendships she built after picking herself up from the ground from one of her lowest points and daring to reach out and start again. A friendship that started as a whirlwind because when Noora barged into Eva’s life so fierce and strong and self-assured, so unapologetic and unafraid to be herself , it must have felt like the answer to everything Eva was looking for. Noora’s independence and courage to stand up for what she believed must have been so desirable to eva who was a little lost within herself back then, wonderful admirable Noora who was everything Eva did not feel she could ever become and everything she wished she would be… Eva might have put her on a pedestal in the beginning of their friendship but the way it evolved so organically, with her discovering that Noora was everything but infallible, with her own very real vulnerabilities was what really brought them even closer together and provided some of the warmth that had been missing from both of their lives before. They learnt so many things from each other and this helped them gradually grow out of their own insecurities and become the version of themselves they are today.

Let’s talk about Eva and the trait of hers I find the most admirable: her bravery and maturity, as demonstrated by the way she approached her relationships with Jonas and Ingrid. Let’s talk about a relationship so full of innocence and the quiet optimism of a first love which was ultimately brought down because they were both so focused on trying to maintain this ideal, the dream, the perfect romance,a world where everything was viewed through rose tinted glasses,that when the cracks started to appear they would rather pretend they were not there. And those issues that had been undermining the foundations of their relationship from the very start could indeed not be washed away, not even by the genuine love between them. Most importantly they never learned how to communicate and establish trust since they never had enough faith in each other to stay and work through a conflict and neither of them really knew how to compromise. Thus in the end they became their own worst enemy, which is something that Eva saw and in one of the most mature decisions anyone in this show has ever made took the first step towards a healthier future because she realised that they coudn’t grow while they were still together and holding each other back. This scene sent such an important message because eva's journey towards self-agency and self-discovery is such an indispensable part of life in general and of the teenage experience more specifically, sincee at this age where the matter of forming an identity comes into the forefront for the first time with such an intensity it is very easy to fall into the trap of defining yourself strictly within the confines of pre-existing or newly formed relationships. Even more importantly, a relationship can be unhealthy for you even if there is still so much love on both sides and this does not get addressed enough sadly. But here it was. It was and Eva handled it in the most beautiful way.

Let’s talk about Eva and the tremendous courage she showed when she confronted Ingrid and in that moment faced all the fears shame and guilt that had been haunting her for months. How in one of the most emotional moments in that season when she expressed how she wishes she had done things with jonas differently but she can’t keep feeling guilty her whole life she refused to let the shame and the guilt over past actions consume her, acknowledged her past mistakes with full clarity, chose to reconcile with everything that happened and actively decided to channel the remorse into moving on and focusing on self improvement and doing better in the future.

Let’s talk about Eva and one of the most underrated scenes in her season which I seldom see discussed, if at all. “Everyone’s like what kind of person are you? You have to know who you are. What a fucking cliche!” is one of the most important things she’s ever said for me. I feel like the way everyone always stresses about how adolescence is supposed to be the age that everyone should discover and define their identity puts a lot of pressure on teens and this moment stresses out that it is alright to feel a little lost within yourself and it is alright for someone to take this journey at their very own pace or not at all until they feel emotionally ready for it. Self exploration is an ongoing procedure which never really ends nor is it constrained by age limits and feelings of uncertainty are an absolutely natural part of it which is something this scene showcased  beautifully.

Lastly, let’s talk about one of Eva’s strongest features : her heart, her capacity for infinite compassion and forgiveness. And I can think of no other way to do so other than talk a bit about her friendship with Isak. Truly, there have always been heaps of understanding and forgiveness between them, even when isak's actions drive a wedge in the foundations of their bond. Eva has always been nothing but compassionate and patient towards him and it’s a true testament to her character that even when she didn't know the cause of his betrayal she mostly felt hurt and confused rather than scornful and resentful. Moreover, once she discovered the true source of his lashing out her stance shifted as well because there have never been any lingering traces of bitterness or anger ever since then.Of course that is in part due to her own emotional maturity and clarity when it came to her own responsibility in the fallout of her relationship, but also she is one of the few people who truly saw isak in that moment, the only one who saw his struggle and recognised his strife. It is a feeling very familiar to her after all, because she used to be in a very similar spot - losing sight of herself, being plagued by insecurity and guilt, having alienated and hurt her own friends in the process. She knew this is a journey he has to take on his own, so she would be there in the end waiting for him. And when he went through his own path of self discovery and reconciliation with himself, when he was finally ready to take that first step reach out acknowledge what he had done and try to make amends, she was already there with a soft smile and an accepting heart. Eva is absolutely the kind of person to take joy in her friends' happiness and this Isak - Isak who was finally confident and in peace with every part of himself - was glowing with contentment. In that moment all the space she had ever granted him was worth it and the look she gave him was full of pride and kindness.

So there she is. Eva Kviig Mohn. A brave girl, a caring girl, a girl who has been through so much but never lost her courage or her smile. A girl who wasn’t afraid to make difficult decisions, a girl who was lost but managed to rediscover herself. There she is, the girl we all recognise a part of ourselves in, having found a new second family, surrounded by laughter music and colours, people who genuinely care about her and came to celebrate with her when she threw her birthday party, people she brought together from the most unlikely places and who will never let her feel alone again. Her story is one of self growth and acceptance, of finding your place in a world that is often too demanding, unforgiving and cold and I really wish it got more attention than it does because it captures the essence of some of the most important and difficult years in our lives and it really deserves to be heard.