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werezmastarbucks · 2 months ago

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f!8th member x yoongi timeline: bulletpoints pt1

protective!bts, brothers!bts. feral, bold! emotional!reader

wc: 5115

part two

part three

routine and relationship dynamic description. very gradual, turned out long. mentions of the harsh idol life, harassment, hints at sexual advances; jaded view of idol life. 8th member might be a tired concept but guys i haven't been here back in January so i am tapping into eve-ry-thing

you are added to the group the last

it's a controversial experiment for Big Hit. debuting a boy band with exactly one female member. they do not hold their breath: they believe in the failure. nobody expects BTS to actually succeed.

as the decision to add a girl is made much later, they are faced with the question whether to change the name of the band from "bulletproof boys" to "bulletproof youth". and they decide against it because of how little they care about the whole group

the bangtan trainees mostly oppose the idea, not only because it's a late addition, but also because it's a girl

they are told that they have to go on living all together, but with a girl. train as usual, but with a girl. share food and allowance, but with a girl

"that wasn't in the contract" - "none of this was in the contract"

the boys are terrified thinking of how this is going to shift things completely

Yoongi is one of the most opposing members, bringing up good points and complaining about it, but there's not much he can do.

a couple of days before you arrive the boys have a meeting with the management. they are told that the girl (you) is coming and there's one rule

no hookups or relationships. it should be clean, friendly and disciplined. if there's even a whiff of anything similar to attraction or flirting, or drama, the member caught is out without the second warning

at the time the members do not see it as a problem, in fact, they do not even consider it a danger because of how preoccupied they are. they don't want to mess with anybody; they don't want anybody

actually they mostly see you as an enemy and an obstacle because they believe you will be a bad addition. nobody's even thinking about the funny stuff; they are cautious, unsure and reserved

when you arrive, you try to be cool and calm, and they try to be polite and non-hostile

the first person you notice is Namjoon: he is going to be your roommate, your companion and most likely your best friend (you couldn't be further from the truth: they will all become your friends soon)

you speak good English, so Namjoon is naturally drawn to you and you click in spite of his initial unwillingness. "hey, that might actually work..."

first impressions:

Namjoon: mature, normal guy, too burdened by his leader role, super focused, kind, helpful. will not make you uncomfortable even if he tries. feels like he is already your friend. you are born in the same year, several months apart, the same zodiac, the same introversion deep down under ambiversion.

Hoseok: painfully shy, glaring at you curiously from a distance. you can see instantly that a smile is his natural reaction to everything, and you actually flinch when the teacher snarls at him, and he smiles. this is the first of many times you get an urge to protect. he seems kinda small, fragile, and only relaxes when he is dancing or sleeping

Jimin: seems like a menace. his smile is too oily, and yet he shifts from being flirty to completely closed down. he seems like somebody you want to know better because at first you can't figure out his role in the group: is he the main dancer or the vocal? or the visual?

Jungkook: b a b y. you drop one look at him and, even though he is already your height, you get motivated to stand on his side. his round cheeks and still childish eyes make you question why the hell the company would hire such small kids. he is already sixteen, but he feels younger, he is super sweet and you do not feel threatened at all

Yoongi: the quiet ghost in the corner of the room giving you contemplating, evil looks. sharp jaw and the eyes that are too expressive. however, once he opens his mouth, he turns out to be polite and balanced. he gives you the trustworthy quiet helper vibe. it feels like acting on camera during making the content drains the energy from him

Jin: sage. he is so tall and adult that you unintentionally keep your back more straight in his presence. you passionately want to earn his respect because you see how he is soft and helpful with the guys but cautious with you. to you, he shows his colder side, and it kicks in the natural instinct of winning him over

Taehyung: soulmate. you click immediately. you joke at the same time, then start laughing, and your laughing voices harmonize, and you look at each other surprised. at the very beginning, he is on par with Namjoon the closest person who provides the initial comfort in a highly uncomfortable situation

you look at them seven and the hammer strikes. if you can't match them, you must at least do everything not to hold them back as a team. they are already familiar with each other, and now your job is to force them to accept you and see you as equal. it's going to be brutal

the first genuine contact:

you help Jungkook with his English homework. and by helping, you mean do it for him. he sits next to you at the desk, clicking the pen on it, while you write and try explaining things to him simultaneously

the first week you feel super lonely in the dorm because you and the SEVEN BOYS you live with walk around each other like wild animals, sniffing. all interactions are awkward: reaching for something in the cupboard at the same time and flinching like the hands touching is the worst thing that's happened in the last hundred years

blushing when you meet each other in the vicinity of the bathroom

you don't even pee when someone is nearby

you have a lot of stuff and sometimes it gets mixed up with the boys' things, and they get confused whose towel or shirt it is

the first week, in fact, is wildly stressful, because it's like jumping into ice-cold water while surrounded by sharks who don't bite but give you weird, awkward side eyes. Namjoon is too nerdy to provide insightful comfort, and Taehyung gets flustered in others' presence so he starts saying stupid shit

however the ice starts melting when you find Jungkook sobbing at that tiny desk punctured in between the clothes rack and the dinner table

it's about homework, but also his leg hurts, but also he misses his mum, and he is behind on his studies, and his voice isn't working properly

he's telling you all this with his head turned around, red like an apple, and you open up and decide that you aren't going anywhere anyway, and these boys aren't either

you hold him the way only a woman can hold a child. the other boys take really good care of Jungkook: he is fed, dressed, he is mostly comfortable and generally happy all the time. but the friendly and protective touch of a woman's hand makes sixteen-yeard old Jungkook break down and cry on your shoulder, while you stroke his head and tell him that he is safe

you try to make it very clear that he is safe with you and you won't tell anybody. try to tell him that getting tired is fine and the best thing he can do is break down when he feels like it

Yoongi witnesses the end of it, when Jungkook is already wiping his nose, and your hand is still on his head, stroking him like a kitten

this incident facilitates the eventual onset of closeness

suppose Yoongi clocks a certain feature in you, that he himself also has: the impulse to protect and comfort, and it makes him a little relieved

the hyung line starts taking care of you subtly: first of all, the boys get rid of the habit of avoiding eye contact. then you start smiling at each other.

a week later you have a collective conversation in the kitchen at night, warming up to each other

who initially has a crush on you

everybody

for most of them (6/7) it's short, the shortest for Namjoon because you're not his type. instead, he amalgamates into the older brother persona with quite a lot of satisfaction about it. he already has a younger sister and has experience, he is familiar with the problems that arise with having one, and sees that you need him in that way

Jimin drops it when he sees you aren't the ideal girl he has been picturing you as. as he knows you more, his infatuation dissipates into respect and reliability. he relies on you in many things because he has that childish persona and really likes to be taken care of. he actually exploits this quality of yours a little bit, seeing that, in the impulse to be perceived as good, you go out of your way to help them

Taehyung isn't even sure if he had a crush on you, he hadn't noticed. he just knows you're cool and he was the one who opposed the girl member addition the least of them all. he was never fully against it

Jungkook has a crush on you in a surprisingly innocent way even though he is almost an adult. he knows it's more of an awe because he just imprinted slightly when you love-bombed him in the very beginning. he grows fiercely protective of you and is the first of all the boys to start calling you sister

Hoseok's crush dies quietly when he reminds himself of the rule that management enforced on them. he understands why it's there and totally agrees with it. he is an incredibly focused and motivated person, so he takes a second look at you, and goes, no, and switches it off for good. he is cautious and quiet around you, and for the longest time you feel like a wild nature photographer that is chilling on the ground, waiting until the antelope loses alert

Jin's crush was more out of curiosity and the whiplash of change. it doesn't last and wouldn't have even if all of a sudden you told him you liked him. instead, he gains respect for you when he sees your striving to work as much as they do and even more. Jin ends up being the most perceptive protector of yours, who clocks your exhaustion first. he approaches you very soon into the shared living and working, and tells you not to run too fast, or you'll burn out

Yoongi doesn't do anything about his crush and isn't alarmed when it doesn't cease. he thinks it's irrelevant. two things are unchangeable: you are not going away. and second: you are off limits. coexisting with his liking of you is easy because he sees you literally every waking minute

actually for the longest time he believes that all the other members are in love with you and it's a norm, and is very surprised when they talk about it and say, uh, no, not really

then he's like, uh oh. while Hoseok's crush floats up and bursts like a bubble, Yoongi's feeling suddenly sinks down and cements itself somewhere deep

you don't call the older ones oppas: you absorb their habit and call them hyungs

the first year together:

you debut all together, after some time during which you grow close and start trusting each other. the first year is tough because it's still friction. would've been much easier if you were a boy, of course.

there are inconveniences, awkwardness and surprises in every aspect of your lives

they need to adjust choreo for you because it needs to reflect on the female presence and make it your collective IT factor

the boys need to kiss all their previous concepts goodbye: that they will be a boy band; that they will all be equal (now there's this 'we have a special factor' dynamic); that they will do exactly what they were promised; that they can fart into each other's faces in the morning as a method of waking up those who don't hear the alarm clock

for some reason they cannot see themselves farting into your face

you prove to become spicy if tackled.

people aren't having it at all. BTS are bullied, ridiculed, ignored and talked down to all the time

the boys gather around Jungkook and focus on the work, trying to ignore the negativity

they are surprised when they find out yet another feature of yours

you laugh off the hate towards you, which you get a lot, but become feral when someone insults them

you hesitate whether to accept me? well, tough luck, i accepted you

because you told yourself "we are stuck together, so I'll better make the most of it" and now you live by this

you feel so lonely; the only girl, the weakest one, the shortest one, different dancing style, different voice, different rhythm, different low points. in order to survive this loneliness, you shut your feelings off and concentrate on getting them on your side

also, that one time you comforted Jungkook gave you an idea that boys are just that - boys, and not stone-cold machines, and might even react positively to your friendly attitude

long story short, you start releasing your tension out on people who dare to insult them

you lash out at radio hosts who speak to them in a condescending way

"you think you guys can be rappers?" "they already are. care to explain your problem with it?"

you bite back at the people who don't believe in them and ridicule them: "let's take it outside? or you just gonna pick on an eighteen year old boy?"

"so, how's that Korean rap boy band going?" - "it's going super well, and not sideways, but your jaw will"

a couple of times the hyung line has to restrict you physically

Seokjin realizes these reactions may be a problem

Namjoon indulges your temper because for the first time, he is partially relieved of his weight. he isn't the only one who speaks English; he isn't the only one who is in the avant-garde

Yoongi sees through your anger and the short fuse and is like, oh shit. she is going to snap sooner or later. he understands this aggression is a response to the tension this work puts on you

he starts taking care of you little by little, like a doctor, but not medically

he does it humanly. a coffee. brings you the hoodie you'd forgotten at the studio. surrenders the window seat to you. pushes you behind when the reporters or staff are male and look at you for too long

you start associating Yoongi with safety

there's a talk about you having to visit a certain hotel to meet a certain "business partner", and before you can respond, the boys go "no" in unison

you realize, even if you aren't all best pals yet, and you've only been with them for six months, and debuted like two months ago, they will protect you at least on the very basic level

it finally kills your stress-induced insomnia

you start feeling like a team

you harmonize the best with Jimin and Taehyung

you start training even more, running yourself into the ground, to prove to them that you have earned your spot here; that they won't regret standing up for you; that they won't have to pull their punches because you're a girl

exhaustion blackouts for which you feel very guilty

your periods sometimes don't come for months because of the stress

you have a specific conversation between the eight of you, where you discuss the situation the company put you in. it was an experiment. it also felt like they were setting you up for failure from the beginning. trying to clash you and them. inconveniencing them by bringing a girl. antagonizing you.

you all look at each other and decide to succeed in spite of the company

from then on, you begin to intentionally learn to live together

"good morning", "how are you?" "did you sleep well?" "let's do it" "you go first please" "you did great". positive sabotage

they start saying "pads" without fainting. start living with the idea that the shower cabin where they stand naked, is the same spot where you also stand naked

they become more okay with touching you when it's not during the training and not a part of choreo

hugs

they do not let you do the dishes or clean the bathroom. for the whole first year you do not do either of those things; they take turns instead of you

how they deal with your stress:

Jungkook is the sweetest and is direct. "What can I do? Why are you crying?" and you cry A LOT. after some time, you stop hiding when you feel like crying, and stop feeling guilty when you get injured. there's no way to escape them anyway. there's SEVEN of them. at any given point of time, you're bound to be walked in on by a member.

Jin talks to you like a wise elder, providing practical advice

Jimin is the fairy that flaps around and tries to distract you or make you laugh so that you stop crying

Taehyung cries with you and offers his shoulder. he is the first who invents the lifehack: how to stop Y/N from crying. he begins sharing his own troubles, and you switch immediately and forget about yours

Hoseok tries to make himself scarce, hoping that someone else will handle you. when there's no other choice, he just sits next to you quietly, horrified

Yoongi provides efficient physical comfort; when there are other people around while you're in tears, he pulls the hood onto your head; if it's due to an injury, he caters to it; if it's just stress and loneliness, he elects to call Jungkook or Namjoon because he himself avoids hugging you

and it's not even embarrassment (sometimes he is so tired that he doesn't even get a boner); he is just distant like that

Namjoon = bear hugs. he is the authentic older brother who lets you cry on his chest

Yoongi is the only one who isn't affected by your rage. when you snap, whether it's at a person, or at an object that inconvenienced you, he doesn't get scared like the others. he is the mediator who pulls you away or picks the broken parts of a chair, and his silent courtesy makes you feel very guilty for the outbursts

his gentle acceptance of your character is the factor that pushes you to practice better control of your emotions

Seokjin also tells you that it's super nice that you are ready to murder people to protect the boys, but it has to stop, because it only creates more trouble

you become known as, at best, the wild card of the band

at worst, you're the attention seeker

in truth, you are in the inherently losing position. no matter what you do, you will be the scapegoat and the target. a girl in a boy group

as the fandom gradually grows, many of the fans see you as the red cloth. if you're quiet, you're boring. if you're loud, you're trying to get attention. if you're smart, you're a know-it-all. if you act silly, you're flirting with your mates. you're ugly. you're too pretty. you're fat. you're too thin. you dance too girly. you sing too high. you eat too funny. you speak too loud. you sleep wrong.

the boys gradually understand that this is your designated spot, and this is the weight you take upon yourself. as they get familiarized with the public and how it perceives you, their love for you grows

what unites you with each of them:

Namjoon: shares everything with you. you are the two smart ones who speak good English. you are also roommates and he is the last person you see before you go to sleep

Seokjin: at the moments of lethal social exhaustion, when you are both drained to zero, you sit in the kitchen with glassy eyes and chew on cornflakes straight out of the pack, without speaking. you are the only one who understands the visceral hatred for people he sometimes has; you recharge off of each other a little

Jimin: similar voices. you are paired for the performances often; and your roles are playful mates. you joke a lot together. with time, you start mimicking his uninhibited charisma, and he starts mimicking your dry, zero-bullshit snappy attitude

Taehyung: he feels like a soulmate. you like the same movies, the same books. he has impressive emotional vulnerability coupled with purely artistic selfishness, and you instinctively want to keep it alive in him. he appreaciates your attention and the fact that you forgive him for anything he does. he feels you treat him like a piece of art

Jungkook: becomes loyal to you. where you go, he goes. what you eat, he wants a bite of. when you fall down, he is on the spot in a flash, picking you up. when you're sick, he is the first to puff his chest and argue with the management to get you at least one day off

Hoseok: for the longest time, you just coexist together, trying to find common things. until you catch him in the kitchen one night, watching youtube and sobbing. he has soft, vulnerable darkness to him. you don't dare to wrap your arms around him like you do with Jungkook as he guards his personal space. the thing that unites you is the mutual respect of people who start growing similar habits. you start eating at the same time. you have similar headaches and both become sadder in November.

Yoongi: is a mystery to you. he is like the mountain that provides you haven when you need it. he has that dry laughter that betrays his maturity. he is ready to give you the shirt off his back, but doesn't let you in. he'll be like, eat my portion and go away ok? you both like your alone time and often prefer to stay in the dorm during the free hours, so you end up in the different corners of the rooms. clashing in the kitchen. you develop huge respect for him because you write a lot of lyrics, and he writes music. you think you should bond about it. Yoongi really starts looking you in the eye after you begin bringing your prose to him, asking to take a look

how you inconvenience them:

the thing that irritates them the most is crying. each member reacts differently to it: Hobi and Seokjin are almost openly annoyed when they realize that you cry too often. Jungkook is always wounded by it. Namjoon isn't very annoyed, neither is Taehyung. Taehuyng also cries often, so he isn't affected by it. Yoongi is always trying to get to the root of the problem. studies your reactions like a scientist. he is the first one to clock your heightened emotional reactivity. he tells the others about it and they ask well, how do we cure it. Yoongi laughs and says, we don't. we deal with it

you are a little messy and even though you work on it, sometimes the natural forgetfulness makes you leave things untidy or your things scattered. Hoseok and Jin are usually the ones to yell about it

loud singing in the shower. you and Namjoon are the main perpetrators

"you are supposed to be the vocalist, not the dying alpaca"

you get stress-induced insomnia and sometimes wander around at night. the only one who isn't mad about it is Yoongi because he works at nights

you get periods (when you do). sometimes you get tired more than them. you are physically weaker, and no matter what you do, or how much you strain yourself, you will never have their stamina. they never show it, but you know they do not run as fast as they could have without you, and it actually becomes a very, very deep sore in you and creates this sort of trauma and complex in you. coupled with the public reactions, it cements the perception of yourself: you're the weak point of the band. the members don't think that. in the second year they realize the concept grows on them. they stand out among mono-gender groups. they are easily recognizable. they have a draw of male fans because of you. in a twist of irony, the more they like your presence, the less you like it.

sooner rather than later you decide to make them get used to your body. you are, after all, bound to get revealing outfits for performances, as well. in the dorm, when it's hot, you walk around in shorts. you don't hide. sometimes you might walk around in the towel after the shower, looking for something. they know they need to get accustomed to it

hair everywhere

the female energy. you chat during breakfast. yelp about things. nag to keep the movie on and not switch the channel

low pain limit

they sometimes fight about 'spoiling you'. "you only bought this xyz food because you know Y/N likes it. but we are all going to eat it!"

trying not to exploit their natural male impulses to give in to you. if they want to ride bikes along the river, and you want to go to the park, they are inclined to go to the park. you start demanding they do what they want

trying to kill the 'it's okay, she's a girl' ideology. it means you bear the same responsibility but also the same agency. you start doing dishes and cleaning the bathroom in the second year.

you are delicate. they are boys. you get blisters on your feet - you do not hide it and whine about it

hair ties everywhere

how they inconvenience you:

brutal jokes that they need to tone down sometimes

pranks aren't always pleasant

SEVEN LOUD BOYS

feet into your face. rude nudging to wake you up (they do not see it as rude. it's just "gentle" wake up shove)

bring you all the wrong food when you're on your period or sick. for some reason, their brains (except Yoongi who seems to be a professional at caring for a woman) switch off like they think girls eat inherently different foods

their FUCKING UNDERWEAR in the shower

SPITTING IN THE MIRRORS AND TOOTHPASTE IN THE SINK

kicking the garbage away from sight: "i tidied up"

burping

shorter hair everywhere

"can you pluck my armpit"

they leave the mess after themselves way more often than you

you can't cope with them when they start playing games or mess around

sometimes they eat too much too fast

"Y/N'll deal with it" because you are tough in public/speak English/read books/are witty/can communicate with women/pretty/a girl

if you do something funny, they never let go of it. now it's the butt of the joke forever

you mention a celebrity crush once and now you're doomed

SNORING

if Seokjin accidentally pushes Hobi, he sways a little. if Seokjin accidentally pushes you, you fly over and crash into the floor. if Namjoon accidentally slaps you during the change of position, your head hoots for the rest of the night. if Jimin wants to catch and tickle Yoongi, Yoongi smacks him and it's over before it began. if Jimin wants to do that to you, he simply lifts you above the ground and you have no way of escaping

"you won't get it, you're a girl"

"sorry, this is balls only zone"

they watch MMA and SCREAM

one day you're the group princess, the other day you're the punching bag

you start boxing because sometimes it's impossible to break out when they get agitated, they forget that even the smallest of them is still very big and heavy against you

how they protect you:

at the airport, they quickly learn that sweeping you off your feet is too easy. they invent the oval walk. they form an oval around you and you walk all together, you hidden by their shoulders from the cameras and hands. you witness Jungkook's cheek getting scratched once, and he just shrugs it off with the most loving look

NO. Y/N isn't going to a "meeting" in a "hotel".

they check the fanmail and remove the creepy letters that are addressed to you. for the first couple of years, while the mail is handled within the group personally, you have no idea what male fans want to do to you. after, as the amounts of mail begin to overflow, and it is delegated to managers, you are left in the state of shock

"this whole time they have been writing poems about my tits??"

they do not expect you to perform on a male level. sometimes you do and they don't mention it either. they treat you as an equal.

Yoongi is the one who fences sexist questions with the sharpness of an assassin. he doesn't smile about it either, doesn't try to turn it into a joke.

"so, Y/N, which member do you find the most attractive?" Yoongi: "why didn't you ask me this question? i have a favourite one, it's Jimin". "Y/N, what diets are you on to keep that pretty body of yours?" Yoongi: "she only consumes human male meat". he makes a point to mention that you write a lot of lyrics, all the time. after Yoongi, the others pick up on this habit and try to focus on your lyrical and artistic input more than your looks and 'female presence'.

Seokjin's version: "y/n, so do you cook for the boys?" he snorts loudly. "you should see the attempts. no-no-no"

covering you when you're in revealing outfits. Hoseok will pretend to suddenly get very interested in the camera lense when you are in a short skirt and need to do splits on a variety show. Jungkook will outstretch his arm point at something for the other members if your top is revealing too much of your cleavage. Namjoon will put a towel on your knees

when the outfits get ridiculous, they won't wait for your protests. Yoongi will be like: is that for Seokjin? no? huh

giving deadly looks to people who clearly try to get too close to you

they secretly enjoy being the 'go through us first' bunch for you. each of them has this soft, gender-bending persona to some extent. but they switch back to very manly when there's a need to keep an eye on you

adjusting their whole existence to your presence: you are never the tail of the walk. at least one pair of eyes is on you when you're not at the dorm

Jungkook definitely jumps a guy at least once to protect you.

when the hopes are low:

while you are still struggling to lure people to your shows, you blame yourself for being the dragging factor. you always think that if they were a purely boyband, they would already be successful. after all, they are called "bulletproof boys", not "bulletproof boys and Y/N".

you express this self-doubt rarely because you don't want to be an even bigger burden. the response is always the same:

yah! who put this nonsense into your head? you shut up, you write like 50% of the songs! what are we supposed to do without you? sing na-na-na for three hours straight?

Jungkook won't find his shoes without you

don't say that, i just learnt to tie a ponytail!

sharing modest dinners

them secretly deciding to eat less; if each of them gives up just one spoonful of soup, you will get more. they see you are growing thin; they gaslight you by saying you're imagining things and the portions are absolutely identical. in fact, they say, you're undereating

sharing clothes, painkillers and bandaids. emergency muscle rubs. incredible survival-level health hacks to stay conscious learnt from great-grandmothers. carrying each other literally. "hold on one more hour, okay?" drinking one can of red bull all together

you teaching Jungkook to sew the holes closed. Yoongi teaching you to fix your night stand. you teaching Jimin to stop the nose bleed. Seokjin teaching you to make a sustainable meal out of two noodles, an egg and a pepper with salt. you teaching Namjoon to pick the lock. Hoseok teaching you to cover the cuts with foundation. you teaching Taehyung to sleep in sitting position. amalgamating into each other.

by the third year they know how many pairs of underwear you have and which colours can't be washed together. you know which foods upset their stomachs and read their exhaustion from the hum

the only time they come even close to exploiting you is when you wander around the city in America, handing out flyers to your show, and they notice that guys accept them eagerly from you. they ask you to tell the passersby that it's a girl group. you agree.

sleeping together on the dance studio floor, only to discover they had huddled around you, warming you with their bodies like badgers. even Hobi and Yoongi.

by the time you finally make it, you eight know each other and trust each other with your lives. you conduct a thought experiment: you imagine you collapsed in the shower naked and need assistance. which one are you comfortable with helping you? the answer for you now is any one of them.

#yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts 8th member #bts au

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joooooniecore · 3 months ago

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Oh no, I'm falling in love

Being in love with your best friend is the last thing you wanted in your life. Namjoon has always been your pillar in the harshest of days and no matter how much you are in love with him, you are never going to confess. You are too scared for things to go wrong.

But when that one fateful event occurs, will you be able to suppress your growing desire to be his?

✧˖* pairing: best friend!namjoon x f!reader

✧˖* w.c: 5.2k (full work)

✧˖* genre: best friend namjoon, best friends to lovers, a problematic ex(for a brief moment), fluff, smut.

✧˖* content warnings (full work): reader is really depressed, a problematic ex, some harsh words | explicit smut: body worship, praise, unprotected penetration(don’t do it guys)

THIS FIC IS FOR +18 READERS ONLY! I can't control what people read, but I can control who interacts with my blog. MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WILL BE BLOCKED.

The continuous stubborn urge to run away has always been there on your mind. You never stay stable as the world seems to make fun of the way you live. You have always been a people pleaser, someone who has always been there. Someone who looks strong like she can cause a storm but no one finds a way to see through the façade of how she is the one fighting a storm all alone. Being alone has done wonders to your mind. You know how to live alone even though you hate being alone.

You have always been an extroverted person but the amount of toxic relationships and messed up dates has ruined your will to do anything for the sake of love at all. You are good at it though, giving your all when you liked someone and somehow losing yourself in the process.

“You have grown distant”, was what they would say as they broke up. It was the same every time. A cheap way to get away from the depressed energy you always gave off probably.

The buzzing in your mind never stops as you type aggressively on the keyboard, jotting down schedule and timings for the new tour and brand dealings on the spreadsheet. The clattering of keys probably helps as your mind stays blank and all you can think of are putting numbers in those tiny boxes.

“You are going to break the keyboard at this rate.”, came a soft chuckle from behind you. Then a warm hand on your shoulders as the stress somehow dissipated.

“Shut up Namjoon.”, you told out loud as the clattering stopped and you turned your head to meet eyes with your best friend.

“I was just passing by and saw you murdering the keyboard.”, Namjoon said with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“Not my fault that the schedule seems skeptical.”, you murmured before addressing the drink in Namjoon’s hands.

“Thanks for the drink.”, you said with a grumble as the sweet strawberry milkshake calmed your nerves down.

“You’re welcome.”, Namjoon said as he sat beside you and started toying with the small figurines displayed on your desk.

“Aren’t you extending your welcome?”, you playfully teased.

“I provide you smoothies to survive so shut up.”, Namjoon responded with the same frequency.

You both became fast friends. When you first joined this entertainment company as a manager, you were naïve. Being young among the other workers, it was tough for you to get used to your surroundings. You were also not so fluent in Korean which created a little chaos for the first few months. Namjoon was your savior. Even though he had his own responsibilities as an idol trainee and composer of a rookie group, he gave his time in teaching you Korean and also helping you get used to the surroundings.

He was your first friend in this unknown country and you both have been strong ever since. When Bangtan became famous, Namjoon was the one to ask for you as their manager in front of the board of directors and even though you were younger than most members of the group, your efficiency didn’t go to waste as you were granted that position without a single hesitation.

“Don’t you have work?”, you snickered as you sipped the drink.

“I am done for the day so decided to annoy you.”, Namjoon said with a shrug.

“Of course.”, you said with an extra sweet smile.

You started typing again as Namjoon started scrolling on his phone. After what felt like hours, Namjoon finally spoke again, “Are you going to the get-together party?”

“I don’t think so. It gets awkward there.”, you muttered under your breath.

The get-together in question is something some of the managers and idols attend. It’s a monthly thing where they get to lose their status and enjoy the evening. You like going there as you are good friends with most of the idols but recently you have been feeling a little under the weather and you are not wishing to come face to face with Youngjin, your ex who is also the manager of an idol group.

“Oh come on, Jungkook has been nagging me to bring you there.”, Namjoon said with an almost pout.

“You know how it is. I don’t want to face him.”, you said trying to sound less tired.

“I know but we all will be there. It will be fine. You have to just stay with us.”, Namjoon said with a soft smile, his hand resting on top of yours as he tried to calm you down.

You thought about it for a second, taking the possibilities in and how you would be able to enjoy the evening with good friends. Yes, you would hate to see your ex but it’s inevitable that you would meet him one day or another.

“Fine. But you are picking me up.”, you said as you glared at him.

“Yes ma’am.”, Namjoon said with a victorious smile.

As he walked out of the door, you released a sigh you didn’t know you were holding. It has been harder nowadays to hold back the feelings you have for your closest friend. You are extremely scared that this might cause a rift with the only person who feels like home to you. You have always been scared to fall in love. Always finding flaws in the other person and justifying you falling out of love because of a missing quality. But with Namjoon it was different. You have tried hard to find a flaw that would justify your urge to keep the friendship as it was but there were none. You have seen the way he treats women and it makes your heart skip a beat.

Speaking of women, Namjoon has always been the centre of attraction and that has always caused you to stay behind the scenes. He is charismatic, and handsome. He can easily get any woman he lays his eyes on and hence, it would never be you. Even though he never really dates, you have seen the way women fawn over him. You would always be his best friend. Someone who he allows to be in his life as a support. Someone who knows all his little tales at the end of the day. Someone who is there to just be a friend.

The day went by as you got busy with work. In the evening after you got dressed up, your phone rang and you were quick to pick it up only to find Jimin calling.

“Hello Jimin-ie. What’s up?”, you sweetly responded as you searched for your lipstick.

“Nothing just seeing whether you would come to the party or not.”, Jimin’s soft voice filled your ears.

“I am coming. Namjoon is forcefully picking me up from home in a few minutes.”, you flatly stated.

“Oh come on, you would actually like being forced by him.”, Jimin said with his usual teasing voice.

“Ugh shut up. I did a mistake when I told you about my crush.”, you snickered back with an eye roll.

“Get your man ____.”, Jimin said.

“He isn’t mine and he never will be.”, you chuckled bitterly but nobody has to know that.

Jimin sighed as he ended the call and you decided to finally wear your heels just when the doorbell rang. You quickly got out of your bedroom as you opened the door only to find Namjoon leaning against the opposite wall to your apartment.

“What the heck are you doing?”, you frantically screamed as you grabbed his blazer and pulled him in, not before slamming the door shut.

“Woah calm down girl. What happened?”, Namjoon said with a smirk.

“Why are you here? Where’s your driver?”, you glared at him.

“He is waiting in the car. I came to pick you up.”, Namjoon casually stated as he sat on the couch.

“Anybody could have seen you. Are you insane?”, you were still a bit shaken.

You live in a very secured society which does have a lot of famous people since your job does include being captured by cameras when you are escorting the members through the airport. Many of the fans know you by your name as they gush about how pretty and confident you are. You have no idea how they concluded that from just your pictures. You have seen the posts and hence it won’t be nice if someone decides to spread a rumor just for the sake of some sort of fame. You are scared to tarnish Namjoon’s career with your name.

“It’s a secured building.”, Namjoon flatly stated.

“Still...”, you swallowed the words as you decided to wear your heels and get your purse.

When you finally came out all ready, you saw Namjoon staring at you intently.

“What?”, you finally asked.

“You know how to clean up good manager-nim.”, Namjoon said with a silly smile.

“Shut up.”, you grumbled and hoped for Namjoon to not notice how your cheeks flushed red and your heartrate increased.

By the time you reached the party, your mind has become calmer. You were actually excited to meet your friends and were also prepared to ignore your ex.

As soon as you crossed the threshold of the door, you were pulled in by the members and few of the managers. They were laughing and giggling about something you had no idea about.

“Why are you guys laughing?”, you asked with a puzzled expression.

“Hoseok here started a bet that you would enter here pissed off because of something stupid Namjoon would have done.”, said one of the managers as you rolled your eyes.

“He is stupid. He was standing at my doorstep without a freaking mask on.”, you exasperated as your hands moved dramatically.

Everyone laughed about it and served you drinks.

“I don’t have a crush on him anymore.”, you said as you sat beside Jimin and Taehyung.

These two menaces were eating your head out. They were saying how Namjoon always looks at you from across the room and you would never believe that. It’s probably because of the fact that you are his best friend, someone he knows closely that he checks up on you once in a while.

“He doesn’t check up on you. He checks out you.”, Taehyung said with a knowing glint.

“I bet money that he would come right towards you once he sees you talking with that ex of yours.”, Jimin stated.

“But why would I talk with my ex?”, you dumbly question.

“Because he is approaching us. Bye.”, and before you knew, the known faces of Jimin and Taehyung were replaced with the dipshit face of your ex.

“Hey ____. How have you been?”, Youngjin said in his usual cocky tone.

“I am fine.”, you answered in a clipped tone.

“You look uhm amazing.”, he said as sat on the bar stool in front of you.

“Thanks I guess?”, you said nonchalantly.

“Listen, I seriously want to talk about something.”, he started to speak but you raised your hand to make him stop.

“Don’t.”, you said in a tone that meant finality.

“Oh come on, can’t we just get back together again?”, he said in a voice that made your skin crawl.

He was the one who ruined you and now has the audacity to get back with you just because he thinks you are available.

“I don’t want to.”, you said in that exact same annoyed tone.

“You aren’t dating anyways.”, he stated and that made your blood boil.

“Doesn’t mean I am available for you.”, you snickered back.

“Nobody would date you anyways, I am giving you a chance.”, he said in such an unbothered manner that it made you gasp. Your face turned red as your eyes teared up.

Just when you were going to walk away, there was a warm presence behind your back. An arm crawling up around your waist and you were damned because you knew whose hand it was.

“Is there some kind of problem?”, Namjoon’s deep voice vibrated against your back. He was pressed against you as warmth seeped through the flimsy dress of yours.

“Uh no- no sir.”, you saw Youngjin crumble down.

“Then you might go away because you are making her uncomfortable.”, Namjoon said in such a demanding voice that it made your knees weak. He was mad and you could feel it by the way his fingers tightened against the dip of your waist, pressing the skin which send delicious shivers down your spine.

“Are you two-?”, Youngjin dumbly asked and as you were going to deny the fact, Namjoon spoke.

“And what if we were? What are you gonna do about it?”, he mocked as Youngjin could only ramble something incoherent as he scurried away.

The palm against your skin vanished and you almost missed it. That’s when it hit you – ‘oh no I am falling in love again’

Namjoon twirled the bar stool around till you were facing him or more precisely his chest. You craned your neck up to look at his face and you could see the way he was grinding his molars. He was mad as his chin puckered out which only happens when he is either concentrated or extremely mad.

“It’s okay Namjoon. He is gone.”, you said with a soft smile as you ran your hands across the length of his arm in a friendly pat.

You saw the way he melted when you touched him and that almost made you believe that he had the same feelings towards you. His eyes softened as he looked at you as if trying to find a way to ease your pain, to make it up to you.

“You should have walked away.”, he finally said, his voice barely a whisper.

“I wanted to see how low he can get.”, you said with a sad smile.

“I don’t like when someone ruins your mood.”, he said as he sat down on the stool.

“It’s okay. I am fine.”, you tried to calm him down.

“He has no right to do that. How can he think that he can talk like this to someone as pretty as you?”, he stated with a stern gaze.

“You think I am pretty?”, you asked as you wiggled your eyebrows to make him laugh or cringe.

“Yes. You are.”, he stated instead as he tried to find answers in your eyes.

You gasped as your eyes widened but before you could say something, his hands reached yours as he played with your fingers. His eyes fixed on the way your fingers molded with his. Then he trailed an invisible line from the tip of your nails to the dip of your lips.

“So pretty.”, he whispered as if it wasn’t meant for you to be heard.

“Namjoon I –”, you were going to stop him or do something to stop the sensations that were happening in your body.

“You have no idea how I look at you.”, Namjoon spoke again as your breath hitched.

It might have been an insane thought but you wanted to know more. You were bathing in the way his eyes travelled to every inch of your exposed skin.

“And how do you look at me?”, you asked softly as if trying to keep it a secret.

“Like I want to make you mine.”, Namjoon said as his eyes met yours with a stern gaze. He was looking at you as if trying to see the way you would react. The way you would blush or push him way. The way you would kiss him or simply slip out of his fingers.

“Then do it. Make me yours.”, you said and that was it for Namjoon.

He got up so quickly as if his pants were on fire. He tightly held your hand as he passed through the crowded room not before informing his members that he is going home quickly. They shared a knowing glance as Jimin winked at you which made you blush.

And soon you were out of the messy crowded room and into the cool spring night. The soft wind made your blazing skin a little calm as Namjoon called for his driver to pick him up.

The palm of his hands again found their home on the dip of your waist as he pulled your back towards his wide chest. Your skin flushed against his as he dipped his head low just to gently kiss the curve of your neck – where your neck meets your shoulder. The sleeveless dress was doing nothing to stop the sensation that his lips left on your skin.

The car stopped right in front of you as Namjoon opened the door to usher you in.

“Drive to my house.”, he directed the driver before his entire attention was on you again.

“Are you feeling fine?”, he softly asked you.

“Yes.”, you whispered back.

“Are you drunk, love?”, he gently asked.

“No. Just sipped a little wine.”, you answered truthfully.

“Good. Because I need you to remember how I make you mine.”, Namjoon firmly stated against the cavity of your ears. The warm breath fanning against your neck which caused shivers down your spine.

The ride to his place felt like it was taking too long. The quietness of the night as the big buildings passed by and the street shops shined even though it was past midnight. As soon as the car drove through the gate of the society, Namjoon’s grip on your thigh tightened. He got out of the car and helped you out before thanking the driver and wishing him a goodnight.

Almost as if he was afraid you might vanish, he pulled you in the building and towards the lift. His hands trying to hold onto you as you softly smiled.

“I am not running away.”, you teased.

“I know but I am not taking chances.”, Namjoon smirked as he dipped his head to place a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

The lift chimed signaling the floor number as you both got out and slowly walked past the hallway and into his apartment. You have visited his place a million times. Mostly to discuss tour schedules and sometimes to enjoy a good drink and some movies. You both have always maintained the friendly boundary as you always tried to suppress the overflow of feelings whenever his knees grazed against yours as you both sat on the floor and laughed.

The room somehow felt smaller today as Namjoon allowed you to walk in first before he followed and shut the door behind him. You slowly got out of your heels, a relief washing over your face as you tentatively walked towards the welcoming couch.

The soft plush cushion dipping down with your weight as you sat on it. Your dress rose up a little as the fabric was doing nothing to hide the expanse of your legs. Namjoon’s eyes never left you as he took you in; seated on his couch in his home. He was feeling extremely nervous as he walked towards you before kneeling in front of you on the carpeted area.

“You are so beautiful, fuck.”, Namjoon’s voice seemed strained as if he was trying to control himself.

You blushed under the heated gaze as he grazed his hands over your exposed legs. He was groping and massaging your skin as you held onto his shoulders.

“You are so pretty, I could die.”, he muttered under his breath before spreading your legs gently as if asking for permission.

You gladly listened to his commanding hands as you spread your legs wider, giving him access to your red lacy panties.

“Fuck. I will crumble down here itself.”, Namjoon huskily stated as he grazed a finger against the hem of the lace.

“N-Namjoon...”, you whimpered as you desperately wanted him to touch you.

“What do you want my darling?”, he asked, his eyes again finding yours with so much more lust.

“I want you, Namjoon. Please.”, you moaned as he finally grazed his fingers against your core. His knuckles deliciously grinding against the soft fabric that separated your skin from his.

“So pretty and perfect for me.”, he said as he got up and lifted you up as you squeaked a little. He walked towards the bedroom with such fast steps that you almost fell like giggling.

The room was dimly lit as Namjoon threw you on the soft bed. Your back against the plush pillows as he hovered over you like a thirsty man.

“I have always wanted you here, right here under me.”, Namjoon stated as he dived in and trailed kisses down your neck and chest.

“You have me now, what are gonna do about it?”, you said with a hint of tease, trying to make him lose control.

“I will devour you love.”, he said before flipping you on your stomach easily and unzipping the dress. He yanked it away from your body and threw it somewhere on the floor before flipping you again over as you were facing him in your naked state.

The red lingerie set gleamed against your tan skin. The lace making your body glimmer with a newfound beauty under the dim light from the night lamp. Namjoon groaned before kissing and sucking your skin, trying to memorize every inch of your existence.

“You are all mine.”, he said as he trailed his tongue down your belly button and stopped just above the fabric covering your core.

“Please Namjoon.”, you whispered.

“Please what?”, Namjoon challenged.

“Take it off. Goddamit!”, you almost whimpered and that was his cue as he grazed his teeth a little on the skin before biting the corner of your panties and peeling it down inch by inch only with the help of his teeth.

The scene made you roll your eyes as you couldn’t imagine how aroused your felt. Namjoon was a piece of art and the way his dragon eyes never left your face for a single second when he opened your panties did things to you that you were embarrassed to admit.

He grazed his fingers against your wet core which elicited a deep guttural moan from your throat.

“You like the way I make you feel, right?”, Namjoon’s deep voice rumbled as all you could do was nod.

He finally unclasped your bra as you laid naked on his bed, in his sheets all glowing from the arousal as he breathed heavily.

“I would die if you don’t make me cum.”, you finally said and all you received was a smirk and his tongue twisting against your core.

The sensation caused a dramatic effect on your body. Your hips grinding as if they have a mind of their own. Namjoon used his one hand to hold you down while his other hand was used to rub your clit in a slow agonizing pace.

“Fuck Namjoon...”, you whimpered as your hole clenched around his tongue.

He inserted two fingers in, finally making you lose your mind as you moaned loudly before biting your own lips to stop the obstinate sounds that were coming out of your mouth.

“Don’t fucking do that.”, Namjoon almost growled as he removed your lips from under your teeth.

“I want this entire floor to know who is making you feel so good.”, he smirked as he dived in again and ate you out like a man who has been starving.

You felt it then. The onset of euphoria as your body rumbled and your knees went weak. Your breath increased as you moaned loudly his name before falling apart against his fingers and tongue. Your release coating his tongue perfectly as he licked you clean.

He got up, smiling cockily as his chin glistened with your juices.

“Fuck you are insane.”, you said before you sat up and kissed him.

He gladly kissed you back as you fell against the pillow and he devoured your mouth. You tasting yourself against the tip of his tongue which made you moan into his mouth.

You pushed him onto the bed before sitting on his lap, facing him.

“Hi.”, you smiled against his skin as he held you tight. You peppered kisses down his chin and neck as he moaned a little. You liked the way you affected him as you slowly undid his shirt’s buttons and kept kissing every inch of skin that was being exposed.

His grip tightened against your waist as your grinded a little on his lap. Your exposed pussy deliciously twisting on his dress pants which were getting coated by your arousal.

“Leave marks –”, he moans.

“Please leave marks.”

You smirked as you kissed and sucked his neck and his chest, leaving marks as you pleased and he moaned and whimpered. You almost felt invincible as you saw such a big man like him whimpering against your touch.

“You are so pathetic.”, you muttered lowly in his ear.

“I’m so pathetic...”, he hums submissively, agreeing.

You slowly opened his shirt and threw it away before going for his belt. You got down from his lap and kneeled on the floor before asking him to sit on the edge of the bed.

Slowly you opened his belt and pants as his cock heavily strained against his boxers. You touched it through the fabric as he moaned.

“You are so big.”, you whispered and it came out like a sigh.

“Take it out darling, please.”, Namjoon whimpered as you finally took his cock out and put it in your mouth.

You licked the precum clean as you tried to take it whole at one go. Tears dared to fall out of your eyes as you moaned satisfactorily against his cock. He was huge and it filled your mouth perfectly as you bobbed your head up and down, making he groan and moan.

“Fuck, you take me so well.”, he stated as he gripped your hair around his knuckles.

“Only I make you feel like this right?”, you tease with kitten licks on the tip.

“Yes. Yes, only you.”, Namjoon whimpers as you suck one last time before he is pulling you up and onto the bed.

A shiver ran down your body as Namjoon stared you down as he crawled up to you and aligned his cock to your aching core. You were so impatient as you saw the way he correctly caught onto your desperate look and smirked.

“Namjoon...don’t tease.”, you whimpered as you tried to sound stern.

“You have to say please, baby.”, Namjoon’s eyes bored down on you as you saw a smooth smirk forming on his face.

He knew he drove you crazy and that made it extra hot. You moaned at the sensation of his cock slowly rubbing against your pussy and almost as if an involuntary reaction, you whispered, “Please fuck me.”

He slammed his cock in and groaned along with you, your bodies convulsing into one as only panting was heard.

“That’s it darling.”, Namjoon groaned in your ear as he kept thrusting at an agonizingly slow pace. He snapped his hips once in a while to give you the intensity of how his cock would feel completely in your pussy but then he is back to slow fucking.

“You are making me go crazy.”, Namjoon said between thrusts and all you could do was moan his name. He was making you feel so good that you clenched against his throbbing dick, trying to take it all in.

Your body was on fire as the sensations that were happening on your skin was too much to take. You gripped his biceps, trying to stabilize yourself as you pulled him in for a kiss.

“I want to ride you.”, you finally whimpered out and Namjoon obliged willingly.

He flipped you both over so that you were seated on his stomach as he lied down and took you in. Your flushed skin and messed up hair was looking extra pretty. Your cheeks red as sweat glistened your skin like some sort of alluring entity.

“You are so beautiful.”, Namjoon stroked your cheek as you slowly grinded on his cock. His head fell as he groaned and moaned. You were euphoric when you watched the way he fell apart. It almost gave you confidence as you slowly grinded your hips and rode his dick.

“Nam...joon I am going to...”, you whimpered as you could feel the climax approaching.

Namjoon noticed and took the matter in his own hands as he gripped your waist and hips tight, your skin blazing under his touch as he snapped his hips up to coax your climax. You saw stars as you felt the climax take over your body, creaming his cock with your release which made him moan loudly as he tried to take his dick out before he releases.

“Don’t. Cum inside me. I have IUD.”, you couldn’t even finish speaking as he thrusts in again and this time you saw the pleasure shoot up on his face as he gripped you tight against his skin and came inside you. Filling you up with his warm release.

“Fuck...”, he said in your ears as he held you tight.

You both stayed in that position for quite a long time before he slowly got up and took you to the washroom bridal style. He got a warm bath ready for you as you washed yourself and got into one of his shirts and shorts.

After Namjoon was also done showering, he quickly changed the sheets and placed some fresh sheets on the bed before he pulled you in with him. You lied down on his bicep as he pulled you in for a long embrace.

“I wasn’t joking, okay?”, Namjoon said after a while.

“Huh?”, you looked at him dumbfoundedly.

“I wasn’t joking when I said I want to make you mine.”, he said a little more serious this time.

“Oh.”, you said as you could feel your cheeks heat up.

“Yes. I have been in love with you for a while now. I tried to suppress this feeling for a while but then I saw you with that bastard and I thought I lost you.”, Namjoon earnestly confessed.

“I also have feelings for you.”, you meekly replied.

“What?”, Namjoon was shocked as he stared at you in disbelief.

“Yes. I dated Youngjin because I wanted to get over that feeling but that never happened. I have always been hopelessly in love with you.”, you finally confessed after mustering a lot of courage.

“That’s...wow...that’s insane.”, Namjoon stammered as he drew slow circles on your skin.

“We are both stupid, aren’t we?”, you said with a silly smile.

Namjoon gave a hearty laugh as he pulled you in again, this time making sure you know how much you mean to him. He kissed your forehead and then your cheeks before he was peppering your whole face with kisses as you giggled and tried to push him away.

“You are smitten.”, you teased.

“Just for you.”, Namjoon said with a smile.

And no matter the loneliness that once was in your life, you knew that Namjoon would always has been there. Namjoon has always been that invisible pillar in your life that you always were grateful for. He has always been there, in the most subtle ways. And you are glad that you both found your ways to each other.

✧˖* taglist: @topforsure @moonqueensposts @sanarin @joonlover1207

✧˖* note: this was kind of intense but i really wanted to use the short plot idea i saw somewhere online. i hope you liked it!!♡♡ can you guess where i used that short plot idea? anyways i will be back with more such fics, till then goodbye and have a great day!

– love, artemis

#bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #namjoon x oc #kpop fanfic #bts namjoon #namjoon scenarios #namjoon smut #namjoon bts #namjoon

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bluelavendre · 4 months ago

Text

"I'll always come back to u"

Idol Yoongi x reader

2012

You and Yoongi had been dating for a few years, ever since high school back in Daegu. Your relationship had turned long-distance when he left for Seoul to pursue his passion for music production. You always supported his dreams, cheering him on whenever he felt like the world was against him.

One evening, during a late-night phone call, you could hear the frustration weighing down his voice.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Yoongi admitted, sounding defeated. “Is this path even meant for me?”

Your heart ached hearing him like that, but you knew how much music meant to him. Taking a deep breath, you replied gently, “Gi-ah, I know the path you’re choosing is hard, but if you really love what you’re doing, have a little faith. Sometimes it takes a long process to get where you want to be, but I promise you, it’ll be worth it in the future. I believe in you, Yoongi.”

On the other end of the line, Yoongi felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. You were his comfort person—the one he wanted to come home to at the end of the day. No matter how tough things got, your words always made him feel better.

At that time, Yoongi was working as a producer at BigHit, a small company just starting to make its mark. He had been writing songs for various K-pop groups, but nothing ever seemed to match the success of artists from bigger companies. Doubt often crept into his mind, but your unwavering support kept him grounded.

One day, something unexpected happened. BigHit offered him a contract—not just as a producer, but as an idol trainee alongside six other guys: Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook. At first, he was hesitant, unsure if this new path was meant for him. Then he remembered your words:

“Grab opportunities.”

With that thought in mind, he signed the contract, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead—because he knew you’d be right there supporting him, no matter what.

A few months after Yoongi signed the contract, you received some life-changing news of your own—you had been accepted into a college in Seoul. It was everything you had ever dreamed of, a step closer to becoming a professor one day. Your hands trembled with excitement as you dialed Yoongi’s number, unable to contain your joy.

The phone rang a few times before he picked up, sounding a bit breathless. “Hey, babe. What’s up?”

“You won’t believe it!” you squealed. “I got accepted into college in Seoul!”

There was a beat of silence, and then Yoongi let out a soft, breathy laugh. “Are you serious? That’s amazing! I knew you could do it.”

Tears pricked at your eyes from how proud he sounded. “Thank you, Yoongi. I can’t believe it’s really happening.”

He chuckled warmly. “You’re gonna be the smartest professor one day. I’m so proud of you.”

Your heart swelled with happiness. “I’m proud of you too. I heard you’ve been working nonstop. Make sure you take care of yourself, okay?”

“Yeah,” he replied, his tone softening. “I’ll make sure to rest. You’re gonna be in Seoul soon… I can’t wait to see you.”

Even after you moved to Seoul, the two of you continued to respect each other’s time and space. Both of you were working hard toward your dreams—Yoongi training tirelessly with his group and you diving into your college life. Yet, even in the same city, meeting up wasn’t always easy.

But Yoongi always found a way. One evening, after his long and exhausting practice, he showed up at your apartment, still in his training clothes, hair slightly messy and eyes tired but bright with affection.

You opened the door, surprised. “Yoongi?”

He gave you a lopsided grin. “Hey. Missed you.”

Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You melted into his embrace, feeling his heartbeat pounding against yours.

“You should be resting,” you murmured, running your fingers through his hair.

“I’m resting now,” he whispered, holding you even tighter. “Being with you is the best rest I can get.”

You chuckled softly, guiding him inside and making him sit on the couch. “Wait here. I’ll get you something to drink.”

As you prepared tea in the small kitchen, he leaned against the counter, watching you with half-lidded eyes. “You know, I still can’t believe I get to see you in person now,” he said.

You smiled over your shoulder. “Neither can I. Feels surreal sometimes.”

He smirked. “It’s funny… I keep thinking about how I want to hold your hand every chance I get. And how I just want to hear your voice, even if it’s just you complaining about school.”

You laughed, setting the tea down on the table. “You’re so cheesy today.”

He shrugged, pulling you down to sit beside him. “You make me like this. Can’t help it.”

He took your hand, intertwining your fingers, and rested his head on your shoulder. A comfortable silence fell between you two as you sipped tea together, sharing quiet moments of peace.

Even after his debut with BTS, Yoongi made it a habit to visit you whenever he had free time—sometimes surprising you after practice, other times just showing up when he missed you too much. No matter how hectic his schedule got, he never stopped making time for you.

One night, after another successful concert, he knocked on your door, a tired smile on his face. You let him in, and he immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his forehead against yours.

“You did amazing today,” you whispered, brushing your thumb over his cheek.

Yoongi grinned. “You saw?”

You nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He kissed your forehead softly. “I’m glad you’re here. You always make me feel like I’m home.”

2016

Years passed, and life kept moving forward. BTS slowly but steadily climbed their way up the charts, gaining recognition and building a loyal fanbase. Their hard work and passion were finally paying off, and Yoongi couldn’t have been prouder of how far they’d come.

Meanwhile, you were thriving in your own journey. Four years of hard work, sleepless nights, and countless exams had earned you the prestigious title of Dean’s Lister every year. Your dedication to your studies never wavered, even when juggling part-time jobs to support yourself. Whenever you received your academic awards, Yoongi was always the first person you called, his proud voice making you feel like all your efforts were worth it.

“I knew you’d do it,” he would say with a wide smile through the phone. “You never fail to amaze me.”

“And I knew you’d make it big,” you’d reply, hearing the excitement in his voice every time BTS achieved a new milestone.

As BTS’s fame grew, so did Yoongi’s income. He never hesitated to spend a portion of it on you, despite your protests. From cute stuffed animals to expensive accessories, he’d often surprise you with gifts, each one reminding you of him when he was away.

One evening, a package arrived at your apartment, and you nearly choked when you saw the designer label on the box. Inside was a beautiful bracelet—simple yet elegant, with tiny musical note charms. You quickly dialed his number, knowing he’d just finished practice.

When he picked up, you couldn’t hold back. “Yoongi! Did you seriously buy me this? This must have cost a fortune!”

He chuckled softly. “You like it?”

“Of course I do, but you didn’t have to spend so much!”

“You work hard, and you deserve nice things,” he replied, his tone gentle but firm. “And it’s not like I can take you on proper dates right now. Let me spoil you a little, okay?”

Despite your hesitations, you couldn’t help but smile, twirling the bracelet around your wrist. “You’re too much sometimes.”

“I know,” he teased. “But you love me for it.”

Little did you know, Yoongi’s generosity hadn’t gone unnoticed. One day, his manager called him into the office, his expression serious. As Yoongi sat down, he could sense something was off.

“We need to talk about your relationship,” his manager said, his tone professional but firm.

Yoongi tensed, a slight frown appearing on his face. “What about it?”

The manager sighed. “We’ve noticed you’ve been spending quite a bit on your girlfriend. Fans are becoming more curious, and it’s starting to draw attention. The company thinks it might be best if you... end things with her.”

Yoongi’s jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing. “What? Why?”

“BTS is just starting to gain momentum, and any hint of a relationship could ruin our image. You know how the industry works. We can’t afford a scandal right now.”

Yoongi felt his heart drop, anger and frustration welling up inside him. He knew the reality of the industry, but the thought of losing you—of being forced to break up with you—made his chest tighten painfully.

After a long silence, he finally spoke, his voice low and unwavering. “I’m not breaking up with her.”

The manager looked at him with a mixture of surprise and disapproval. “Yoongi—”

“I’ve worked too hard to give up on my dreams, and I’m not giving up on her either,” Yoongi interrupted, his tone firm. “She’s been with me since the beginning. She supported me when no one else did. I’m not letting go of the one person who believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself.”

His manager sighed, rubbing his temples. “Just... be careful. Don’t let it become a distraction. And try to keep it low-key.”

Yoongi nodded, his jaw still tense. “I understand.”

That night, he called you, trying to sound as normal as possible, but you could sense something was wrong.

“Yoongi? Are you okay?” you asked softly.

There was a long pause before he replied, his voice steady but heavy with emotion. “Yeah... I just needed to hear your voice.”

You smiled gently. “You’re working too hard again, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” he murmured, a hint of a smile in his voice. “But it’s worth it.”

The pressure from the company never eased up. Even though Yoongi kept standing his ground, it became harder to ignore the tension building up around him. Managers constantly warned him to be more discreet, and some staff members avoided bringing up his personal life altogether. He knew they were just trying to protect the group’s image, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

But nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

One morning, Yoongi woke up to his phone buzzing nonstop. Notifications flooded his screen—messages from his members, his manager, and dozens of missed calls. Confused, he rubbed his eyes and opened one of the messages from Namjoon.

Namjoon [6:23 AM]: Hyung, don’t look at Twitter. Stay off social media. Call me when you wake up.

His heart dropped, and despite Namjoon’s warning, he couldn’t resist checking. As soon as he opened the app, he saw his name trending along with phrases like “Yoongi’s Secret Girlfriend” and “BTS Scandal.” Clicking on the hashtag, his blood ran cold as he saw pictures of you—leaving your apartment, wearing the bracelet he bought you, even some blurry photos of him entering your place late at night. The media had found out.

Panic set in as he dialed your number, his hands trembling. You picked up almost immediately, your voice shaky.

“Yoongi?”

“Baby,” he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady. “Are you okay? Did anyone—”

You took a deep breath. “There are people outside my apartment. Reporters. And some... fans.”

Yoongi cursed under his breath. “Don’t go outside. Lock your doors and windows. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Yoongi, no,” you interrupted, your voice cracking. “You can’t come here. It’ll just make things worse.”

He bit his lip, fighting back the helplessness washing over him. “I don’t care. I’m not leaving you alone to deal with this.”

Just then, there was a loud bang on your door, followed by muffled shouts from outside. Your breath hitched. “They’re getting louder... I’m scared.”

Something in him snapped. “I’m coming. Just stay put, okay? I’ll handle it.”

Before he could hang up, you stopped him. “Yoongi, wait!”

He paused, his heart pounding. “What is it?”

You hesitated, choking on your words. “Maybe... maybe we should listen to them.”

“What are you talking about?” Yoongi asked, his voice strained.

Your eyes filled with tears as you forced the words out. “Maybe we should break up.”

Silence.

His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach, and he shook his head as if you could see him. “No. I’m not losing you because of this. We can figure it out—”

“Yoongi,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Look at what’s happening. Your career... everything you’ve worked so hard for... it’s falling apart because of me.”

“That’s not true!” he snapped, frustration and fear mixing in his tone. “You’ve done nothing wrong. They’re just being irrational. I won’t let them take you away from me.”

A sob escaped your lips, and you wiped your tears, trying to be strong. “I don’t want to be the reason you lose everything. You’ve worked so hard to get here. I can’t be the one who ruins it.”

He was silent for a moment, breathing heavily as he tried to process your words. “I don’t care about any of that,” he finally whispered. “You’re more important to me.”

You smiled bitterly, your heart breaking. “But it’s not just about you and me anymore. It’s about BTS too... and I know you love them. I know how much you’ve sacrificed for this dream. I can’t let you throw it away because of me.”

Yoongi gritted his teeth, fighting back tears. “So what are you saying? You want me to just... let you go?”

You hesitated before whispering, “It’s for the best.”

He didn’t respond right away, his mind racing as he tried to find a way to convince you otherwise. But deep down, he knew you were right. The backlash wouldn’t stop, and the hate directed at you was something he couldn’t bear.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he finally spoke, his voice trembling. “Fine... but promise me something.”

“What is it?”

He swallowed hard, his heart aching as he forced himself to say the words. “Wait for me. No matter how long it takes, I’ll always come back to you. Just... wait for me.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “I will. I’ll wait for you, Yoongi.”

Neither of you spoke for a while, both lost in the pain of goodbye. Finally, he whispered one last thing before hanging up.

“I love you.”

And just like that, the call ended, leaving you alone with the ache in your chest and the shattered pieces of your heart.

A Few Weeks Later

Since the public found out about your relationship and Yoongi had to deny it, the two of you kept your distance, just as you both agreed. You changed your phone number and deactivated your social media accounts to avoid the relentless hate and messages from fans. It hurt, but you knew it was necessary.

Yoongi did his best to focus on work, throwing himself into producing and writing, but his heart wasn’t in it. The members noticed the change in him—how he seemed quieter and more distant, his eyes constantly tired and empty. One evening after practice, while sitting on the floor of the dance studio, Namjoon finally spoke up.

“Hyung, are you okay?” he asked gently, wiping sweat from his forehead.

Yoongi didn’t respond right away, staring blankly at the floor. The other members exchanged glances, worried.

Jin cleared his throat, trying to lighten the mood. “You’ve been spacing out a lot lately. Are you eating properly?”

Yoongi forced a small smile. “Yeah. Just... tired.”

Hoseok scooted closer and gave him a gentle nudge. “Come on, hyung. You know you can talk to us.”

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi hesitated before finally admitting, “It’s harder than I thought.”

“What is?” Jungkook asked, tilting his head curiously.

Yoongi clenched his jaw, trying to keep his emotions in check. “Pretending like it doesn’t hurt. Denying the one person who’s been by my side since the beginning... it feels like I betrayed her.”

The room fell silent, and Jimin lowered his gaze, understanding the pain Yoongi was feeling. Taehyung reached out and patted Yoongi’s shoulder gently.

“I’m sure she knows you did it to protect her,” Taehyung said softly.

Yoongi let out a bitter chuckle. “I’m not even sure of that myself. I keep replaying her voice in my head... how she tried so hard to be strong while breaking up with me. I thought keeping our distance would make it easier, but it just hurts more.”

Namjoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Hyung... I know how much she means to you. But you made the choice to protect her from the hate. It’s not your fault.”

Yoongi shook his head, his hands trembling. “I feel like a coward. I promised her I’d always come back... but what if she stops waiting?”

Jungkook bit his lip, hesitant to speak but feeling compelled to comfort him. “If she loves you as much as you love her, she’ll wait, hyung. Love like that doesn’t just disappear.”

Jin nodded in agreement. “We know you’re hurting, and I’m sure she is too. But this will get easier with time. You just have to keep pushing forward.”

Hoseok forced a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “Plus, we’re here, too. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Yoongi looked around at his members—his brothers—grateful for their support. Even if the pain didn’t go away, knowing they were there made it a little easier to bear.

The days continued to pass, and Yoongi kept his promise to focus on BTS. He poured his heart into writing lyrics, his songs often reflecting the ache and longing he kept bottled up. Late at night, when everyone else was asleep, he’d sit by the window, phone in hand, staring at your contact name on his screen.

He wanted to call you—just to hear your voice or know if you were okay—but he held back, respecting the distance you both agreed on. Still, he couldn’t help but write texts he’d never send:

“Did you eat today?”

“I miss you.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to protect you.”

One evening, as BTS sat in the dorm living room watching a music show, one of the rookie groups performed a song that Yoongi had helped produce. The familiar melody made his chest tighten, and he couldn’t help but think of how proud you’d be if you heard it.

Jimin noticed Yoongi’s faraway look and nudged him. “Hyung, your song is doing well. You should be proud.”

Yoongi forced a nod, but his mind was elsewhere. “Yeah... it’s doing well.”

Namjoon glanced at him knowingly and spoke up. “You’re not planning to give up on her, right?”

Yoongi’s eyes flickered with determination. “No. I meant it when I said I’d come back to her. I just... need to get through this storm first.”

Taehyung grinned softly, his boxy smile comforting. “Then keep that promise. She’ll be waiting.”

Jungkook chimed in, trying to sound hopeful. “And when you’re both ready, it’ll be worth it, right?”

Yoongi gave a faint smile. “Yeah... it will be.”

As the night dragged on, Yoongi found himself back at his writing desk, scribbling down lyrics that spoke of longing, loss, and the unwavering hope of returning to the person he loved. His heart ached, but he knew that someday, when the chaos settled and his dreams became reality, he would come back to you—just like he promised.

And until that day came, he would keep working hard, knowing that somewhere out there, you were holding on to that promise too.

Four Years Later

Time flew by faster than you could have imagined. The pain of letting Yoongi go never truly disappeared, but you had learned to live with it. You threw yourself into your studies, determined to make something of yourself despite the heartbreak.

Graduating at the top of your class, you earned your degree with honors, and it was the proudest moment of your life. You remembered how Yoongi used to tell you how smart and hardworking you were, and a small smile crept onto your face as you accepted your diploma. You wished he could see you now—see how far you’d come.

After graduation, you didn’t stop there. You pursued your master's degree, specializing in educational leadership and curriculum development. You spent countless sleepless nights buried in research papers, lesson plans, and academic journals. Your passion for teaching burned brighter than ever, and the dream of becoming a professor stayed alive in your heart.

During your master's program, you took up a part-time teaching position at a local university in Seoul. It was nerve-wracking at first—standing in front of a class full of eager minds, trying to inspire them the way your own mentors once inspired you. But with each lesson, your confidence grew. Your students admired your dedication and passion, and seeing them learn gave you a sense of purpose.

One evening after class, your colleague Mina approached you.

"You did great today, Y/N. The students love your teaching style," she said with a warm smile.

You chuckled softly, rubbing your neck. "Thanks, Mina. I still get nervous sometimes."

"You’d never know," Mina replied. "By the way, have you thought about applying for that international teaching program? I heard they’re looking for innovative educators, and you’d be perfect for it."

You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. "International teaching? Where?"

"The United States. They’re offering positions for professors who specialize in modern teaching strategies and curriculum development. Plus, it’s an incredible opportunity for growth and exposure."

The idea stirred something in you—ambition, curiosity, and a desire to prove yourself on a global scale. Could you really do it? Could you leave Seoul and pursue your dreams halfway across the world?

That night, you stayed up researching the program. You read testimonials from previous applicants and saw how their careers flourished after being accepted. It was an intimidating thought—leaving behind the familiarity of your city and starting fresh in a new country—but something about it felt right.

Finally, with a deep breath, you submitted your application, pouring your heart into your cover letter and highlighting your dedication to education. You didn’t expect much—competition was fierce, and the thought of being chosen felt almost impossible.

But fate had a way of surprising you.

A few months later, you received an email from the international program. Your hands shook as you opened it, scanning the words with bated breath.

"Dear Ms. Y/N,

We are pleased to inform you that your application for the International Teaching Fellowship has been approved. Congratulations on being selected as one of our newest professors! Please review the attached documents for further details and next steps."

Your jaw dropped as you reread the message over and over. Tears filled your eyes as the reality set in—you did it. You had achieved your dream of becoming an international professor.

You immediately called Mina, who squealed with excitement on the other end. "I knew you could do it! This is huge, Y/N! You’re going to be amazing!"

Packing your life into a few suitcases wasn’t easy, but you knew this was your chance to grow. Before leaving, you visited your favorite spots in Seoul one last time—the cozy coffee shop where you used to study, the park where you’d stroll to clear your mind, and even the little restaurant where you and Yoongi would share meals on his rare free days.

Memories flooded your mind, but you pushed them away, focusing on the bright future ahead.

"Goodbye, Seoul," you whispered as you boarded the plane, determination sparking in your eyes.

The transition wasn’t easy. You struggled to adapt to the culture, the food, and even the accents. Some nights were lonely, and you found yourself scrolling through old photos and reading the letters you wrote to yourself for motivation.

But slowly, you adjusted. Your students were bright and curious, eager to learn from your experiences and methods. You found yourself immersed in academic conferences, workshops, and mentoring programs. Your innovative approach to curriculum development earned you respect among your colleagues, and soon enough, you were invited to give lectures at different universities.

One evening after a successful seminar, you sat in your office grading papers when your phone buzzed with a notification. Curious, you checked it and saw an article headline:

"BTS Makes History as the First Korean Group to Sell Out Multiple Stadium Tours Worldwide!"

Your heart clenched at the sight of Yoongi’s face on the thumbnail, his gaze as intense as ever. He looked different—more mature, confident, and a bit more worn out. Pride swelled in your chest despite the pang of sadness that followed.

"You did it," you whispered, running your fingers over his photo on the screen. "I knew you would."

You turned off your phone and leaned back in your chair, staring at the ceiling. The thought of him still lingered in your mind, but you reminded yourself that you both had dreams to chase. You had come this far, and there was no turning back now.

One night after class, as you were tidying up your materials, one of your students approached you.

"Professor Y/N, your lecture today was really inspiring," she said with a bright smile. "You always talk about chasing dreams no matter how hard it gets. Have you ever done that yourself?"

You hesitated, memories of your journey flashing through your mind. A soft smile graced your lips. "Yes. I have. And it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done... but it was worth it."

The student beamed. "I hope I can be as brave as you someday."

You nodded, your heart warm with pride. "You already are. Just keep pushing forward."

As you walked back to your empty apartment that night, you couldn’t help but wonder if Yoongi ever thought of you—if he remembered the promise he made. Maybe someday your paths would cross again. Until then, you’d keep building your future, one dream at a time.

A Year After Your Departure

Yoongi found himself stuck in a never-ending cycle of rehearsals, recordings, and interviews. BTS’s fame had skyrocketed beyond imagination, and he was grateful—truly grateful. Yet, despite the worldwide success and the overwhelming love from fans, he felt emptier than ever.

He tried his best to focus on producing songs and writing lyrics, but every melody seemed to remind him of you—your laughter, your encouragement, your unwavering support during his most vulnerable moments. The studio, once his safe haven, now felt suffocating, filled with memories of late-night phone calls and words of comfort you used to offer.

He couldn’t help but wonder where you were, how you were doing, and if you had moved on. He hated himself for letting you go, for denying what you two had, and for pretending that he didn’t care.

One evening after a long practice session, Yoongi sat on the studio couch, his head resting against the wall as he fiddled with his phone. Absentmindedly, he scrolled through social media, searching for any trace of you. He had tried countless times before, typing your name into search engines and browsing through mutual friends’ profiles, but he always came up empty-handed.

"Yoongi-hyung," Jungkook called out as he poked his head into the studio. "You okay? You’ve been in here for hours."

Yoongi let out a tired sigh. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just... trying to find someone."

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and stepped inside, curiosity evident on his face. "Someone? Who?"

Yoongi hesitated, not wanting to open old wounds, but he couldn’t deny the ache in his chest. "Y/N. I just... I don’t know where she went. She’s not in Seoul anymore."

Jungkook’s expression softened. "You really miss her, huh?"

Yoongi didn’t answer, just clenched his phone tighter.

Jungkook smiled gently. "If it’s meant to be, you’ll find her again. Just trust that."

Just then, the door burst open, and Jimin came rushing in, nearly tripping over his own feet. His phone was clutched tightly in his hand, and his face was flushed with excitement.

"Hyung!" he practically shouted. "You’re not going to believe this!"

Yoongi and Jungkook exchanged confused glances. "What’s with you?" Yoongi grumbled, though he couldn’t hide his curiosity.

Jimin shoved his phone in Yoongi’s face, pointing at the screen. "Look! Look at this post!"

Yoongi squinted at the screen and saw an Instagram post from Jimin’s younger brother, Park Jaehyun. The caption read:

"Huge thanks to Professor Y/N for guiding us through this tough semester! We learned so much from you. Your passion for teaching inspires us every day. #Grateful #BestProfessorEver"

Beneath the caption was a photo of you standing at the front of a classroom, wearing a crisp blouse and slacks, a bright, encouraging smile on your face. You looked more mature, more confident—like you had truly become the person you always wanted to be.

Yoongi’s breath caught in his throat as he stared at the screen, his fingers trembling. "That’s... her," he whispered.

Jimin grinned. "Jaehyun texted me earlier about how he loves his new professor. When he showed me the post, I couldn’t believe it. Hyung, Y/N is teaching at a university in the States!"

Yoongi swallowed hard, his mind reeling. "She... went to America?"

Jimin nodded. "Apparently. Jaehyun said she’s one of the most sought-after professors there. She’s been hosting international seminars and lectures too."

Yoongi couldn’t help but feel a mix of pride and regret. You had made it—chasing your dreams just as you promised. While he had been drowning in guilt and loneliness, you had been thriving on the other side of the world.

Jungkook looked at Yoongi, his expression softening. "Hyung, maybe this is your chance. If you miss her that much, reach out. Let her know you’re proud of her."

Yoongi hesitated, his mind spinning with possibilities. Would you even want to hear from him after all these years? Would you still think of him the way he thought of you?

"What are you gonna do?" Jimin asked cautiously, sensing Yoongi’s turmoil.

Yoongi took a deep breath and lowered his gaze. "I don’t know. I want to see her. I need to talk to her. But... I don’t know if she’d even want that."

Jimin smiled softly, patting his shoulder. "One way to find out. You always said you’d come back to her, right? Maybe now’s the time."

Yoongi knew he was right. He had made a promise to you once—a promise to always come back. Maybe it was time to fulfill that promise.

Late that night, while the other members were asleep, Yoongi sat at his desk, staring at your picture on Jimin’s phone. His heart thumped in his chest, and he gathered his courage to send a message to Jaehyun, asking for your contact information. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he couldn’t let this chance slip away.

For the first time in years, he felt a spark of hope. Maybe—just maybe—he could find his way back to you.

Yoongi’s mind was spinning with thoughts of you. After finding out where you were, he couldn’t help but feel restless. The thought of finally seeing you after so many years brought a sense of excitement, but it also made his stomach churn with anxiety. Would you still want to see him? Would you even want to talk to him after all that happened?

That night, Yoongi lay on his bed, his phone clutched tightly in his hand. Sleep refused to come as memories of you filled his mind—your laughter, your encouraging words, the way you used to tell him to keep going no matter what. He missed you more than he could ever put into words.

The next morning, without telling the other members, he squeezed in some free time in his schedule and booked a flight to the States. He knew it was reckless, but he didn’t care. He needed to see you, to hear your voice, even if it was just from a distance.

He was on his way to the airport when Jimin appeared out of nowhere, pulling his suitcase behind him. Yoongi stopped in his tracks and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yoongi asked, his tone harsher than intended.

Jimin grinned, completely unfazed. "You didn’t think you’d go alone, did you? I’m coming too. Besides, I want to see my brother. It’s been a while."

Yoongi opened his mouth to argue, but he knew it was pointless. Jimin could be annoyingly persistent when he wanted to be.

"Fine," Yoongi mumbled, pulling his cap down to hide his face. "Just... don’t make a fuss."

Jimin snorted. "Like I would. Besides, it’s not every day I get to see you all worked up over a girl. It’s cute."

Yoongi shot him a glare, but Jimin just laughed, following him through the check-in and boarding process.

The flight was long and filled with silence, save for the occasional hum of the airplane engine. Jimin sat next to Yoongi, occasionally glancing at his friend’s tense posture.

"You nervous?" Jimin asked softly.

Yoongi didn’t answer right away. He stared out the window, watching the clouds drift by.

"Yeah," he finally admitted. "I don’t know what I’ll do if... she doesn’t want to see me."

Jimin smiled gently, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You’ll be fine, hyung. She’s not the type to hold grudges. She loved you. I’m sure she still does."

Yoongi didn’t respond, but he hoped Jimin was right.

After landing in California, the two made their way to a small hotel near the university where Jaehyun had mentioned your upcoming seminar would be held. As they checked in, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel his hands trembling.

Jimin noticed and nudged him. "Hey, relax. It’s gonna be okay."

Yoongi just nodded, but the knot in his stomach wouldn’t go away.

Later that evening, Jimin video-called his brother, and Jaehyun picked up almost immediately, his face lighting up with surprise.

"Hyung? You’re here?!" Jaehyun exclaimed, clearly not expecting a call from his older brother.

"Yeah," Jimin replied with a grin. "I’m here with Yoongi-hyung. We just arrived."

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. "With... Yoongi-hyung? Wait, why—"

"Long story," Jimin cut in, giving his brother a look. "Where’s the seminar happening?"

Jaehyun thought for a moment before replying, "It’s at Stanford University tomorrow morning. Professor Y/N is giving a guest lecture in the humanities department. It’s a pretty big deal. She’s been doing seminars all over the States."

Yoongi’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of your name. You really had made it big, just as he always knew you would.

"Got it," Jimin said with a nod. "We’ll head there tomorrow. Don’t tell anyone, okay?"

Jaehyun grinned. "I won’t. Good luck, hyung. I’m rooting for you."

After hanging up, Yoongi leaned back against the wall, letting out a shaky breath.

"She really made it," he whispered, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

Jimin patted his shoulder. "She did. And you’re here now, hyung. Go get her back."

That night, Yoongi barely slept. His mind kept replaying the moment he would see you again—how your eyes might widen in shock or how you might even turn away, hurt and betrayed. He didn’t know if he was ready for the worst, but he had to try.

The next morning, Yoongi and Jimin dressed inconspicuously and made their way to Stanford. The campus was bustling with students, and the two idols did their best to stay low-key, despite a few curious glances.

They eventually found the humanities building, where a large poster announced your seminar titled "The Power of Education: Cultivating Future Leaders." Yoongi’s lips curved into a small smile. It sounded just like you—passionate and driven.

As they approached the lecture hall, they noticed a long line of students waiting to get in. Yoongi’s heart pounded harder with each step, and Jimin gave him an encouraging nod.

"Let’s sneak in from the back," Jimin suggested, guiding Yoongi around to a side entrance.

They slipped into the hall, taking seats near the back where they wouldn’t be easily noticed. The room was filled to the brim with eager students, their excitement buzzing in the air.

When you finally walked onto the stage, Yoongi’s breath hitched. You looked so confident—composed and radiant, wearing a sleek blazer and professional attire. Your hair was styled neatly, and your expression was both serious and approachable. The way you greeted the students with a warm smile made Yoongi’s heart ache with longing.

"Good morning, everyone," you greeted. "Thank you for coming to today’s seminar. I’m honored to share my insights and experiences with you all."

Yoongi couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. He hadn’t seen you in years, but his feelings hadn’t changed one bit. If anything, they’d only grown stronger.

Jimin nudged him gently. "Hyung... she’s amazing."

Yoongi just nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. As you began your presentation, confidently discussing educational philosophies and the importance of nurturing young minds, he couldn’t help but admire how far you had come.

He could see it now—how you had blossomed into the person you had always wanted to be. And it hurt that he hadn’t been there to witness your journey.

When the seminar concluded and students approached you with questions, Yoongi hesitated, unsure whether to approach or wait. Jimin gave him a gentle push.

"Go," he urged. "Now’s your chance."

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi mustered the courage to stand up and make his way through the crowd. As he approached the stage, you finally noticed him, and your eyes widened in shock.

The room seemed to fall silent as you stared at him, your expression a mix of disbelief and something unspoken—maybe longing, maybe pain.

"Y/N," Yoongi whispered, his voice trembling. "I... I’m here."

Your lips parted, but no words came out, still frozen in surprise.

"I came back," Yoongi said softly, his gaze unwavering. "I told you I’d always come back to you."

Your breath hitched as your mind struggled to process what was happening. You blinked a few times, trying to make sure you weren’t dreaming.

“Y-Yoongi?” you whispered, your voice trembling with disbelief.

Yoongi’s lips quirked up into a small, fond smile, his eyes never leaving yours. Seeing him standing there after all these years—looking just as handsome, just as familiar—made your heart pound in your chest. A whirlwind of emotions surged through you: happiness, confusion, shock, and a hint of fear that this might just be a cruel dream.

Yoongi’s hands itched to reach out and pull you into his arms, but he hesitated, not wanting to overwhelm you. Instead, he just looked at you with that soft, tender gaze that you remembered so well—the gaze that once made you feel like you were his whole world.

“It’s really you…” you managed to choke out, covering your mouth as tears brimmed in your eyes.

Before you could stop yourself, you rushed forward and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. Yoongi staggered slightly, caught off guard, but then his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you just as tightly. You buried your face into his shoulder, feeling the familiar warmth and scent you had missed for so long.

**“You came…” you whispered, your voice muffled against his hoodie.

He let out a shaky breath, his hand gently caressing the back of your head. “Of course, I did,” he murmured. “I couldn’t stay away any longer. I had to see you… I missed you so damn much.”

You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, your hands still gripping his shoulders. “I thought… I thought I’d never see you again,” you whispered. “It’s been so long, Yoongi…”

He reached up and gently wiped away the tear that slipped down your cheek. “I know. I’m sorry for making you wait. I just… I had to come back. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You’ve been on my mind every day.”

Your lips trembled, a soft laugh escaping as you wiped at your own tears. “You idiot… You really think I stopped thinking about you?”

Yoongi’s gaze softened, his thumb brushing your cheek. “I never stopped loving you. I promised I’d come back, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, smiling through your tears. “You did.”

Suddenly, you heard someone clearing their throat, and you both snapped your heads to the side. Jimin was standing there, his phone held up, recording the entire interaction with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Hyung, you’re so cheesy,” Jimin teased. “The guys are gonna love this.”

Yoongi shot him a glare. “Yah! Park Jimin, delete that!”

Jimin just giggled and skipped back a few steps. “No way! The guys need to see this. You were about to cry, hyung! I’ve never seen you this soft!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, covering your mouth as Yoongi tried to chase after Jimin, who was already texting the video to the group chat.

“Jimin-ah!” Yoongi hissed, but his annoyance was half-hearted. He glanced back at you, giving you a soft, embarrassed smile, his ears turning red.

Jimin, still grinning, gave a thumbs up. “Yoongi-hyung’s in love!” he sang teasingly. “I’m telling the whole world!”

Yoongi gave up chasing him and just groaned, running a hand through his hair. But when he turned back to you, his expression softened once again.

“Sorry about him,” he muttered. “You know how he is.”

You just smiled, wiping your cheeks. “He hasn’t changed a bit.”

Jimin leaned in and whispered, not so subtly, “Actually, neither of you have. You’re still so in love it’s ridiculous.”

Yoongi shot him a warning look, but the corners of his mouth lifted into a small smile despite himself. He reached out and took your hand, squeezing it gently.

“Can we… talk?” he asked softly. “There’s so much I want to say to you.”

You nodded, your heart racing but your smile never fading. “Yeah… I want that too.”

Jimin patted Yoongi’s shoulder before stepping back. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. Just don’t forget to thank me later, hyung. Without me, you wouldn’t have found her.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes but gave him a grateful nod. “Thanks, Jimin-ah.”

As Jimin wandered off to give you two some space, Yoongi turned his attention back to you, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. He looked at you like he was seeing you for the first time all over again, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You did it, Y/N. You made your dreams come true.”

You bit your lip to keep from crying again. “You too, Yoongi. You became everything you wanted to be. I’m proud of you too.”

He looked down for a moment, a hint of sadness flashing in his eyes. “I just wish I hadn’t lost you along the way.”

You reached out and cupped his face gently, making him look at you. “You didn’t lose me,” you said firmly. “You never did. I was always waiting for you.”

Yoongi’s lips quivered, and he leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. “Then I’ll never let you go again,” he whispered, his voice full of determination. “Not this time.”

You smiled and leaned in, brushing your lips softly against his. The kiss was tender and filled with years of longing, both of you savoring the moment that you’d both been waiting for.

And just around the corner, Jimin snapped a few photos and sent them to the group chat with the caption:

"Mission accomplished. Lovebirds reunited. Yoongi-hyung actually cried!"

298 notes · View notes

leclucklerc · 2 years ago

Text

Roses and Peonies CL16 - Oneshot

Pairings: Charles Leclerc x kpop idol!reader

Summary: When it was announced that bts will do their military service soon, y/n was scared to be left alone. She's scared that the world that she had known before will change, leaving her drowning in her loneliness. That is until she met a man with warm green eyes and dimpled smile.

Words: 14.2k

Masterlist

It was a beautiful scene. More beautiful that anything that she had ever seen before.

Of thousands of stars like lights flashing around them. Of the adoring cheers and devotions that’s being thrown towards their way.

Of the love, that they could fell reverberating all across the stadium.

Y/n thinks that she wants to live like this forever. To savor this moment and make sure that it will last until the end of time. Of these beautiful lights and firework. Of these adoring chants and confession of devotions. Of this very moment.

She doesn’t want to forget it.

She wants to make this last.

And then, everything stopped.

Honestly, when it was decided that the boys are going to do their mandatory military service, y/n found herself a bit at a loss.

Her family knows it. The members know it. Heck, even the company knows it.

It makes sense after all. She had dedicated more than ten years of her life for the band. All of her youth and early twenties had been solely focused on bts and bts only. To make sure that the band stays together. To make sure, that the band will keep becoming bigger and bigger. Reaching new heights together.

Y/n didn’t regret it. How could she?

After all, those ten years were the highlight of her life. All the bitter memories from her trainee days became something fond to look back to. All of the sweat and tears that she had shed during her days as bts became rows of achievements and beautiful memories. It was amazing, the most beautiful moments of her life.

It almost made her forget that everything in this world will come to an end. The laughs that they shared, the group hugs, as well as the cheers from their fans. A bittersweet feeling always swells up inside of her chest at the mere thought.

Life as a celebrity will only treat you good when you’re still young. That statement is even more true in the idol industry where youth and visuals reign supreme over anything. Even bts – with all of their achievements, all of the things that they had contributed to South Korea – will became the victim of this statement sooner or later.

Yoongi-oppa had always said that he doesn’t want them to crash landed when they’re at the top. He wants them to land slowly but surely. A safe landing point that marks the end of their career as a musician in the future.

(It’s terrifying. Y/n is scared.)

She knows that there’s nothing forever in this world. And yet, when she realized that the members will be doing their military service soon – leaving y/n alone – she finds herself to be at lost.

“Maybe it’s time for you to find a boyfriend,” said Namjoon-oppa, leaning back on the sofa in front of her. There’s beers and other alcoholic drinks in front of them. She thinks they’re already drunk at this point, but trust Namjoon-oppa to still be able to give her advice despite his own state of drunkenness.

Y/n laughed. “You’re crazy,” she said, nestling his head on one of the many pillows located in the older’s studio. “Dating scandal is a death sentence.”

“We’re already in our 10th year,” shrugged the male. “It would be inhumane if we never experience the joys of love.”

The female fell silent at that.

She knows that the other members had their own fair share of love story. Discreet ones that they had never dare to publicized. After all, a dating scandal is something major in the South Korean entertainment industry. You can end your career just for falling in love. Even bts, the biggest Asian act that had ever came out in the past decade, is not an exception to that fact. A harsh reality for them who is part of this toxic cycle.

To y/n, she had avoided it like it’s a plague. Her presence in bts had been controversial enough. She doesn’t want people to say that she’s fucking the members – people who are like her own siblings – behind the scenes. There are already enough talks about that. If she ever gets caught up in a dating scandal?

It will not only be the end of her career. But also, bts.

Though, listening Namjoon-oppa tonight, it really seems as if it’s a good idea. She’s already entering her 10th year as an idol. She had many accomplishments, making South Korea proud and breaking records with every release.

Maybe, just maybe, falling in love with someone is not a death sentence.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for her to learn to live like a human and not the entertainment industry doll.

“Do you really think that that’s a good idea?” she asked after a moment of silence. “I don’t want to inconvenience you or the other members…”

Namjoon-oppa actually let out a laugh at that. “All of us had dated anyone before,” he said, taking a gulp from the alcohol on his glass. “Is that an inconvenience to you?”

“No,” she replied almost immediately, mind recalling all the people that had come and go over the years. Some are celebrities some are not.

“See?” said the male. “The same thing will also be applied to us.”

Y/n nodded, nursing the glass that she’s holding. She’s still a bit hesitant. Finding love had never been her priority, considering how busy she was. And to make finding love a goal during the band hiatus? Doesn’t it seem to be a bit too shallow?

The other members are preparing their solo album while here she is contemplating if she should date someone or not.

She can already see the media headlines.

Namjoon-oppa seems to have sensed her hesitancy because he decided to speak up again. “I know how you get when you’re feeling lonely, I’m just scared that when all of us leave for military… you won’t have your support system anymore.”

Ouch.

Though, isn’t that the truth?

Maybe it’s because for more than ten years, she had grown up with people around her. Her close siblings – even though they didn’t share a drop of blood – that had always been there for her. Her personal emotional babysitter. The people that she can always count on.

It seems a bit pathetic that her state of mental wellbeing is relying on 100% to these seven men. But these seven men are her best friends. The people that she’s closest to. Her soulmates.

Her soulmates, that’s going away for months.

“Maybe,” she finally said. “Maybe I will consider it.”

Namjoon-oppa let out a laugh at that.

Y/n l/n debuted under Bighit entertainment when she was 15, going 16.

A wide-eyed half foreign girl in the midst of the glitz and glamor of the kpop industry. A wide eyed and naïve girl being thrusted straight into fake Versace and the harsh entertainment industry without much of a preparation.

To be fair though, y/n thinks that no one can prepare enough things before they debuted.

It was a controversial debut back then. Still is even compared to today’s standard. For a girl to debut in a co-ed group where the remaining members are boys her age. Some had called it inhumane; some had called it insane; some had called it feeding off the female or even the male fantasy.

Even now, critics would always say that bighit is the only company to be ballsy and desperate enough to do that kind of thing. The company that was going bankrupt in 2013 and bet everything that they had to a controversial co-ed group without a clear future.

There are many nasty things being thrown around here and there back then. Insults to degrading remarks. Things that can make any newly debuted group to regret to ever stepped into the entertainment industry.

Bts initial concept too, didn’t help. Wannabe rappers, fake k-hiphop, weird band name, from the tamest insult to the most vicious ones, they had been called by it.

To y/n though, she would call it family.

After all, bts is the only thing that she could call as normalcy in her life. After her family moved from Italy to South Korea – the country where her mother comes from – she was immediately whisked into the grueling trainee life. She was never good at school to start with, making her job as a trainee her only focus.

It was then when she entered bighit entertainment, a small entertainment company. It was also then, that her life changed when she was being put into the debut lineup almost immediately.

Her life had always been consisted of bts and the members. The first thing that appeared inside of her mind when she starts her day is bts and the last thing that appeared inside of her mind before she went to sleep is bts. Always bts.

Many – even the members – had praised her dedication for the group. Saying that it’s good for her to consider the group as something so important that she puts it on top of her priority list. Y/n could agree on that. After all, she knows nothing but bts in her life. The group itself made her life to have a meaning. It made her to develop a sense of purpose in this world.

To make music.

To make music that can help people.

To make music, that people can lean on to during their hardest time.

Well, who would’ve thought that bts would become the world biggest group?

Certainly not her.

When bts took off internationally, it had been an almost surreal experience to them. After all, all they want is to win in a fucking Music Bank. Who would've thought that just two years after their first win, they would perform in the VMAs. Who would've thought that they're going to win billboard awards left and right?

And that had only been the start.

Stadium tours, multiple number one albums, multiple number one songs, the most famous people in the world.

Maybe that's why love had never been her priority. Besides the dating scandal thing, she had been way too busy for the past few years. She could barely saw her family, let alone thinking to start a relationship.

It was to the point that y/n genuinely thought that maybe love is just not for her.

That love, is not something that she can attain in this lifetime.

The meeting room is almost empty. Way emptier than usual.

Y/n sat there, legs crossed on top of the chair as she stared at her PR manager and manager going through some papers. She could hear some of the interns on the background, murmuring about something with hushed breath.

“Despite the band hiatus,” started her manager. “We’re going to start a lot of solo activity, especially for you.”

She ignored the weird feeling that appeared inside of her chest when she imagined doing her job alone. She ignored the emptiness that spread inside of her as she realized that there will be no more boisterous laughter and weird antics happening on the background.

She ignored the fear that appeared inside of her at the mere thought of being alone.

She ignored all of that as she nodded her head. “Yes,” said the female. “I understand.”

At the start of December, she went to Paris.

It’s her first solo schedule. The company told her that she’s going there to shoot promotions and campaigns for Prada. It’s a big deal, as she was set to become their newest global ambassador. After the announcement of their hiatus, many brands had contacted her, offering her the position of global ambassador.

She guesses it was for the fact that she’s not tied exclusively with bts anymore. That in order to sign her, the brands don’t have to sign the band anymore.

Bitter, she thought as she read the contract over and over. There’s an odd feeling that rose up inside of her chest as she stared at her name. Only her name and devoid of the other members.

Kim Namjoon

Kim Seokjin

Min Yoongi

Jung Hoseok

Park Jimin

Kim Taehyung

Y/n L/n

Jeon Jungkook

Only her name.

She signed it, heart aching inside her chest.

There’s not much going on over the signing of the contract and the shoots itself. She was told on things that she must do and what not. The clothes that she should be wearing during her promotions, as well as the events that she must attend during her stay in Paris.

The event that she’s attending tonight is one of them.

It’s a charity ball meant for the wealthy and famous. The event itself was held to raise money to help the art and sport sector, a good goal if the money will actually be given to struggling artist and athletes, not those who comes from privilege.

But she can’t comment on that.

“A lot of executives will be there,” informed her manager as he draped a jacked over her bare shoulder when they exit their hotel. Flashes of camera immediately appeared as yells and screams could be heard all around them. “Directors, CEOs, star athletes.”

Y/n let out a hum at that, processing that information internally.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the five-star hotel where the event is being held. And as expected, there are so many rich and famous people in the venue. People that y/n had worked with the previous years, people that is working with her, to the people that wants to work with y/n in the future.

“I saw your billboard near the Louvre, it was phenomenal!”

“I heard that your band is breaking up? If you’re interested my next movie-“

“The met gala is happening in May and-“

She was far too exhausted to plaster a genuine smile. The jet lag catching up to her and all the pent up stress that she had harbor for the past few weeks continue to pile inside of her. So many faces and so many names to remember, it made her dizzy for a bit.

Maybe that what guides her to the bar, desperately searching for a bit of an alone time during the hustle and bustle of the party. She didn’t even remember how many designers and actors had given her their personal contact. No doubt salivating at the thought of finally having y/n l/n work for them, not as a group. But individually.

Manicured nails tapped the bar softly as she watched the bartender made her order. From the corner of her eyes, she could see other people eyeing her, no doubt wanting to make conversation.

She really should get going from here before-

“Rough night?” asked a voice besides her.

Ah, too late.

Turning her head, her eyes met warm green ones. A man, maybe around her age, with dark hair and dimpled smile was staring at her. He’s wearing a suit, a clear indicator that he’s also part of the exclusive guest list.

Handsome, thought y/n idly, eyeing the man in front of her. He certainly fit the conventional standard of beauty for men from his large eyes to charming smile. But she’s standing in a room full of celebrities. Everyone is good looking here.

“You can say that” she said, smiling a bit to hide her uneasiness. “I was just a bit overwhelmed.”

The guy laughed at that. “I can certainly relate to that,” he said. She realized there’s a hint of accent on his English.

“Oh, you’re French?” asked the female after realizing.

“Monegasque actually.”

Y/n hummed. “I never met a Monegasque before.”

“Well, there’s not a lot of us around,” he answered cheekily. The bartender appeared, giving her, her drink. “So, what brings you here tonight?”

It was such a cliché line that she almost snorted. There’s no reason to ask what brings her here tonight because it’s the same reason why the guy is even here. It’s obvious that they were invited to this gala in order to make this charity event look more glamorous. To paint them in a better light as someone who likes to donate and gives back to the poor.

“The same reason as you?” said y/n, leaning forward towards the bar. “Trying to find someone who is alone at the bar and flirt with them?” It was supposed to be a sarcastic reason, a sign for the male that she’s not interested.

Though, instead of being offended, he took it as a good humor as another round of laugh erupted from him. “Am I? flirting with you?” he said, tilting his head.

The female stared at him, blinking. “Are you not?” she asked as if she was stating the obvious.

“Well, I am,” he said with a grin. She can’t help but notice the way his eyes crinkled at that, giving the warm green orbs a more welcoming look. “You have a nice set of eyes; do you know that? I can probably get lost in them.”

That flirting is way too corny and old school that she can’t help the loud laugh that she lets out. The uneasiness that had bubbled on her chest dissipated almost immediately. If her manager is around her, she will probably scold her for that ungraceful manner. “Seriously?” she asked. “Are we playing that kind of game right now?”

“Can’t we?” asked the guy. “It’s fun.”

“Mhm, whatever you say Mr. Casanova,” she said with a hum, heart light. “Don’t you think you should buy me another drink then?”

He shrugged, “I certainly can,” started the guy. “But I don’t want you to drink too much.”

“Why?”

“So that you can remember this conversation and tell your friends that you met an unforgettable guy during this event.”

The laugh that she lets out is more genuine than anything that she had done ever since her arrival at the charity gala. The guy seems to realize this as he too, joined on her laugh.

“I know, it’s bad,” he said. “I’m not the best at flirting.”

“Really?” said y/n. “I would’ve thought otherwise.”

He grinned before thrusting his hand towards her. “Should we start over?” said the male. “My name is Charles.”

She noted the lack of last name. Good. “Y/n,” said the female as she shook his hand. “Pleasure.”

It is a pleasure, because before she knew it, the both of them fell into a deep conversation about music.

Charles seems to be an artist himself, or maybe a huge music fan. He talked about the latest releases to the old ones. The male talked about his co-worker who had a deep love for the 90s rock to his own taste of classical music, even confessing that he had attended numerous concert about it.

Y/n too, talked about music. She talked about how high quality the latest release had been. How there seems to be some kind of trend in the music industry lately. How there seems to be a newer and more talented singer each passing day.

It surprised her a bit, that Charles is a good talker and listener. He seems genuinely interested at what she’s saying, As if she’s not talking about the nerdy side of the music industry. As if she’s not mostly rambling about herself.

The male asked intriguing questions, humming at the appropriate times, and even broaden the subject with his own knowledge.

She didn’t know how long they talked, maybe hours, because the moment she realized that they had been talking too long was the moment when her phone buzzed as a text from her manager appeared.

Ah, thought the female, glancing at the watch that Charles is wearing. I have to go back soon.

There’s a sense of disappointment that appeared inside of her chest when she realized that it was the end of their conversation.

Charles seems to realize her disappointment because he immediately raised his eyebrows, “Something wrong?” he asked, tone full of worry.

“No,” she replied, taking her handbag. “I just realized that I have to go back soon.”

The male probably thought it was weird considering that the gala is going on full swing without a sign of stopping, but well, she has a strict schedule. She has to go to an early photoshoot tomorrow.

“Let me walk you out then,” said Charles as he straightened up, offering his hand.

Y/n stared at the offering hand, pondering about her decision for a bit before she curled her arm around it. “Okay then.”

The walk towards the exit took longer than expected because there are a lot of people that went to greet them. Designers, directors, fellow musicians. On Charles side, she too recognized a lot of people went to greet him. Though she doesn’t know any of them.

He probably doesn’t work in the entertainment industry then, thought the female.

“Should I drive you back to your hotel?” asked Charles as the both of them exited the ballroom where the charity gala was hosted. It was quiet, a far cry from the loud music and the chatters that had surrounded them previously.

Thinking about the offer, she shook her head, “No,” she replied. “My friend will pick me up.” It’s her manager.

At that, the male look disappointed.

It was at that moment, y/n made a choice that changed the course of her life. She doesn’t know what made her do it. Maybe it’s the pouty look that Charles is giving her or maybe it’s just her lonely self craving for love.

She doesn’t know the exact reason was but-

Inside of her purse, y/n rejected the call from her manager.

“You know what,” started the female. “I really enjoy talking to you.”

“Me too,” replied Charles.

“I heard there’s… a really good place to eat late night snacks around here,” she continues. “Do you want to go there?”

It’s blinding. Charles smile is blinding.

They ended up eating a late-night snack that night. It ruined her diet and Charles also confessed that this ruined his own diet too.

Though, the both of them doesn’t seems to care, too engrossed with each other.

Charles continues to give her bad flirting attempts and she too, replied with her own version of flirtation. It was fun. It made her felt a bit free.

She could feel her phone continue to buzz throughout their late night escapades – certainly from her manager – and y/n decided to ignore it. If she had thought that Charles looks handsome under the dim lighting that the charity event provided, under a proper lighting he looks stunning.

Charles had denied being in the entertainment industry and y/n signed in shame. He could certainly make good money with a face like that.

When the night was ending, she lets Charles to drive her back to her hotel.

They arrived through the back door, a far more discreet entrance where no paparazzi and fans can enter.

“Thank you for tonight,” she said as the male opened the car door for her. “I really enjoy it.”

“I should be the one saying that,” replied Charles with a large grin.

There’s a sudden silence between the two of them, as if they doesn’t know what to say. Should she say see you later? Or is this a one time thing?

It would be a shame if this is a one time thing. It’s been awhile since she enjoys her night like this. The silence was broken when the male decided to speak up.

“Tomorrow,” started the male, staring directly towards her. “Do you have any plan for dinner?”

Y/n immediately ransacked her brain for tomorrow’s schedule.

“No,” she said. “I’m free for dinner.”

And at that, he reached out for her hand. Y/n didn’t flinch, completely lowering her guard for this man before her. He brought it towards his lips, giving it a small kiss.

“Then,” said the male, smiling. “Have a dinner with me?”

Thump, her heart beats once. Twice.

Thumpthumpthumpthump-

“Yes,” she answered, large grin overtaking her face. “I would love to.”

They went on a dinner the next day, in a small quaint restaurant that’s overlooking the Eiffel tower. If y/n was not charmed by that gesture, she would’ve called it cliché, but fuck it. She was definitely charmed by the dinner that they had.

Maybe it’s because of the small gesture that Charles did – opening the car door, holding the door for her, asking what her favorites are. Maybe it’s because the food they’re eating was just good. Maybe it’s because she’s just weak for a candle lit dinner in Paris.

She really doesn’t know what’s the reason. All she knows is that she didn’t stop smiling throughout the night.

It’s a bit weird but talking with Charles was unexpectedly easy. She found out that he can speaks Italian fluently, making them converse in Italian all night long. He said it was because of his job, making him need to stay in Italy for some part of the year. They talked about various topics. Like their hobbies where she found out that he can play the piano and from what he claimed, he can play it really well.

“You sure about that?” she had teased him. “I also can play the piano really well.”

Charles had laughed at that. “Should we have a piano battle then?”

They talked about their life,

“I was born and raised in Monaco,” said the male. “Though I have to travel a lot because of my job.”

“I was born in Italy,” said y/n. “My family moved to South Korea when I was in elementary school.”

Talked about their favorite food,

“Caprese salad,” he said as he nudged the salad in front of her. “It’s my favorite.”

“I never really liked cucumber,” said the female, grinning a bit stupidly. “Much prefer tomato over it.”

Talked about their favorite things,

"I like flowers, especially peonies," she had said, remembering the peonies that her dad would gave her mom almost weekly. "I will probably become a florist in my next life."

He hummed. "I will probably be a... mechanic?"

Talked about their family,

“I’m an only child,” said y/n. “Though I do have close friends that I thought of as my brothers.”

“Really?” asked Charles. “How long have you guys been friends?”

She pondered a bit. “More or less 10 years maybe? Or eleven and twelve?”

He chuckled. “I also have friends that I know since primary school,” said the male. “The eight of us.”

“But do you have any siblings?”

“I do have an older and younger brother.”

They talked about everything and yet nothing.

Y/n soon realized that the both of them are avoiding certain topics. Like what their jobs are or topics that could probably disclose more of their identity. Oddly, she found herself really liking it.

She doesn’t even know Charles’s last name. She knows almost everything about him but his identity. She doesn’t know anything about the man that’s laughing and sharing dinner with her tonight.

And yet, she doesn’t seem to mind.

This sense of anonymity gave her a safe blanket. It seems a bit fucked up, but she finds the fact that they’re both not disclosing their identity to each other is a good thing. Maybe it’s the wariness, or how she already got used to not trust people easily.

All she knows is that she likes this. This easy conversation and banter that they share with each other.

If she had thought that the dinner was charming, the stroll that they did around Paris that night is more than charming. There’s just something a bit special to walking around the city of love late at night, laughing and talking with someone that you find attractive.

Charles is really playful, always trying to make her giggle throughout the walk. He would ask her to do a failed rendition of a ballroom dance under a streetlight, or he would tell her about the odd history or even his own funny experiences during his previous trips to Paris.

It’s been a while since she laughed that hard.

That one dinner turned into another and another. It’s been three days since they had dinner together every day.

Y/n found herself surprised at that. After all, she’s used to always not let anyone get too close to her. Too used to guarding her heart too tightly, not letting anyone in easily.

Charles though.

Charles with warm green eyes and dimpled smile.

Charles who had talked about his home in Monaco with a too wide smile and sparkling eyes.

Charles who had told her about his travels all around the world – regaling tales about the many cuisines and cultures that he had experienced.

Charles who had looked at her with so much warmth and made her laugh every night.

It made her want to belief. To believe that the warmth that Charles gave her is true. That all the kindness and loving words that he had directed towards her during these past few days is true. That all of this is not a ploy to just get into her pants or a ploy to leech off her fame.

Maybe it’s okay to open her heart up for a bit. To let this giddy like feeling to consume her as she forgets about all the repercussion this small rendezvous can impact her.

To let herself enjoy the wonders of love for the first time.

Please, she had thought as they once again stroll around Paris late at night. If this is a dream, don’t wake me up.

“Hey,” she called out, catching his attention. “I was wondering.”

“Hm?” hummed the male as he kissed their interlocked hands. “What is it, chérie?”

Looking around, y/n turned towards the male. “I was wondering how you even knew so many streets with so few people?” she asked. “Like I’ve been wondering how we even avoided meeting so many people during our stroll?”

She had thought walking around in Paris a bit risky. There are far too many people that knew her and far too many paparazzi dying to know an inside scoop about her personal life. Though, oddly, these past few days, they hardly met any people during their walk.

The female had been suspicious at first, glancing at Charles with doubts on her face. Though, the male acted as if there’s nothing wrong. It seems, the male knew the reason.

Charles fell silent at that.

Y/n thought that she had hit a landmine. That her question is something a bit too personal to him. Immediately, she backtracked. “I mean-!” she started. “I mean if you don’t want to answer is okay! Like I’m pretty sure you’re not a serial killer or anything because you haven’t killed me these past few days- I’m not calling you a killer though!”

The male stared at her; amusement clear on his eyes as she continues to fumble around.

“What I want to say is,” she finally said, stressing out the word. “If you don’t want to answer it’s okay.”

Charles let out a laugh at that, almost making her stumble with how violent his shoulder shook. “Ah, I can’t believe the girl that I had flirted with – heavily I must add – for the past few days really thinks I’m a serial killer.”

“I’m not saying that!” hissed out y/n, pouting a bit. “Did you miss the bit when I said I’m pretty sure that you’re not a serial killer?”

“No, no, no, I heard that alright,” he said, grinning as one of his hands pulled her cheek a bit. “Mignonne.” Cute.

“Stop doing that!”

Charles didn’t stop and his grin merely getting wider. “I’m glad though,” he said as he untangled their hands so that now both of his hands are now pinching her cheeks. “That we established the fact that I’m not a killer.”

Y/n glared at him, hands flying up to hold the hands that’s on her cheek. “Whatever,” she said. “Forget that I even asked.”

The asshole let out a louder laugh at that. “Don’t pout,” he said as he tugged her lips upward. “It’s not a good look on your pretty face, chérie.”

She rolled her eyes at that. “I still look pretty,”

“True.”

“Okay! Don’t distract me with your flirting,” said y/n, huffing. “Are you going to answer my question or not? Because it’s perfectly fine if you don’t.”

“Well,” started the male, still cradling her face as his thumb brushed the apple of her cheek. “I have a… good answer to that.”

“Really?” asked y/n as she released the man’s hands from her cheek, holding it together with her hand as she looked up to him. “You want to tell me?”

He looks a bit hesitant at that. As if he’s debating something inside of his head. She didn’t know what kind of internal mental turmoil that he’s having with himself, though by the end of it, he looks more determined than before.

“I guess you can say it’s because of my job?” said Charles, tilting his head a bit. “I… tend to get recognized a lot.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow at that. “So… you’re famous?”

“In a certain circle, kind of?”

“Huh,” said the female, processing the information a bit. They got that in common then. She’s also famous in certain circles. “And are you comfortable enough to tell me what your job is?”

Charles bit his lips. “I’m… you know, Charles Leclerc.”

Y/n blinked.

“Charles Leclerc?” she repeated, and he nodded. “Leclerc? Is that your family name?”

The male stared at her. “You don’t know me?”

“… Should i?”

“No, no, obviously,” interjected Charles with a small laugh, hand waving around. “It’s just that you went into that charity ball and all, so I thought you will be familiar with my name.”

She tried to remember the event that they both had attended a few days ago. The charity ball that was meant for the art and sports industry.

Charles, obviously, is not from the entertainment industry. Or he could be? Like a producer or director maybe? Y/n is not that familiar with the acting side of the entertainment industry after all.

Or he could be from the sports industry. Looking at his body- yeah. Athlete.

“Ah,” said the female. “You’re an athlete?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “Some would say that I’m not, but I like to think that I am an athlète.”

Oh.

“That’s why I didn’t recognize you,” she said, wonder clear on her eyes. “I’m not really that familiar with athletes – sorry – except the ones that’s representing my country and stuff… or like the popular ones like Messi or Ronaldo-“

“Are you telling me I’m not popular?” teased the male.

“That’s not the point,” she huffed out with a frown and Charles laughed at that. “And I know you must be a popular athlete, you said it yourself,” continue the female. “A bit narcistic but okay.”

“It’s good to have confidence in my line of work.”

Y/n pondered a bit. Should she? It felt a bit unfair to Charles if y/n didn’t say anything about her. He trusted her enough to tell her about his identity after all.

Does she trust Charles though?

She should be terrified how fast a ‘yes’ appeared inside of her mind.

Will he change? will the sweet Charles that she had known these past few days will be gone when he realized who she is. How famous she is. How beneficial it will be for him to continue this... relationship with her.

Again, she should be terrified how fast a 'no' appeared inside of her mind. As if she had trusted this man in front of her her whole life.

“Me too, I guess,” said the female after a while.

“What?” he asked, humor evident on his tone. “Are you also famous?”

“In certain circles, kind of?” she said, repeating his words from before.

Charles let out a huff of laugh before he grabbed her hands and practically dragged her to one of the benches near them. From here, they’re overlooking the Seine River and she could even see the Eiffel tower in the distance. A bit cliché, but at the same time, y/n loves it a bit too much.

“Should I start?” asked the male, fiddling with her hand. “On confessing about our deepest and darkest secret.”

She giggled. “Sure Romeo, you can start.”

“I’m a driver, racing driver,” he said.

And oh, that’s not bad. Y/n was expecting something much worse. Like a sport that she’s not completely familiar with or know even exist. “In what? Nascar?”

“Formula One, I drive for Ferrari.”

Y/n may have never any interest in racing, but she knows Ferrari. Her father is a big fan of Ferrari when she was little and from what she knows, had followed it almost religiously. She also knows that Formula One is practically the biggest and the most famous racing category right now. To drive for Ferrari in Formula One-

“You’re not lying when you said you were famous,” she said instead.

“Glad that we established that,” he said, amused. “What about you?”

“I’m… a singer, you can say,” she started. “Or an Idol, if you want to use the proper term.”

Charles scrunched his eyebrows. “Idol?”

“You know Kpop?”

“Ah,”

There’s silence between the two of them after that. Charles still playing with her hand and y/n still leaning her weight on his shoulder.

“Does this change anything?” she asked.

“No,” replied Charles almost immediately. “No, it doesn’t.”

She let out a breath that she didn’t even knew she was holding. “Good,” she said. “I like this.”

Charles released her hand before he curled his hand around her shoulder. “Me too,” he said.

The predestined one, that’s what they’re calling Charles.

The one that will bring back the championship to Ferrari.

The one that was destined to bring back the glory to Ferrari.

The sea of red and the Ferrari flags waving with the wind as he passed the checkered flag in Monza. The chants, of him bringing back the championship, that people screamed on top of their lungs every time the male appeared.

It was fascinating to see the extent of Charles’s popularity. When the male said that he was famous in certain circles, he was really humbling himself down. Because she knows, she knows when someone gave you this kind of devotion, this kind of love, it means that their love for you is more than genuine.

She doesn’t know how many videos of Charles she had watched that night. From his amazing start in 2022 season until his final standings. From his recent races to some fan’s compilation about the male over the years. Hours must have passed because the next thing she knows it’s already bright out there.

Her manager seems to realize her lack of sleep because he had ordered the makeup artist to add an extra concealer for the spot under her eyes. Though, the older didn’t probed more regarding the reason.

Y/n thinks that her manager can already guess the reason.

“Do you enjoy your late-night rendezvous?” asked the older man.

Looking up from her phone, she raised an eyebrow. “It’s not a problem, right?” asked y/n.

The older male shook his head. “It’s not, as long as you’re being discreet for the time being,” said the male. “We can talk again if you ever want to make your… relationship… public.”

A public relationship. What a terrifying thought.

“We’re still in the talking stage, nothing that serious,” said the female.

“It is if your partner is Charles Leclerc,” replied her manager. She could see he’s staring at Charles’s Instagram page. “Formula One may not be that big in Korea, but it’s huge all around the world.”

She knows that. She knows how loved Charles is by the people.

A sea of red. Of Ferrari’s flag waving with the wind. Of screams full of devotion and reverence.

She knows.

“I know,” said y/n, leaning back on her seat. “I’ll talk to you and the company later if our relationship became more… serious.”

“Good,” said the older with a nod. “Now should we review your schedule once again?”

Charles is holding a bouquet of roses when she met him that day.

“Ah,” she said, smiling. “For me?”

“Of course,” he grinned as he handed her the flowers. “I just realized I never gave you any flowers, decided to fix that.”

Y/n let out a giggle at that, holding the flowers close to her chest. “We met barely one week ago,” she said.

The male merely shrugged, “One week too late then?” he said. "I can't find any peonies, but I hope roses are a good replacement."

She’s not flustered. She’s not-

The heat radiating from her cheek tells otherwise.

They’re meeting during the day today. It felt a bit scandalous, considering all of their previous meeting had always been late at night.

Though, seeing Charles under the sun is a bit too tempting to missed out.

The private room that they book had a balcony overlooking Champs-Élysées, a beautiful sight that took her breath away. Charles had told her that a friend of his had recommended this place to him, saying that it’s a good place to have a date as it served enough privacy for them.

Y/n’s heart beats a bit faster when the male casually mentioned that yes, this is a date.

“So, you’re going back tomorrow?” asked the male.

She nodded. “You too right?” asked y/n. “My flight is early in the morning, what about yours?”

“It’s at twelve,” he replied. “Do you want me to drive you to the airport?”

The female laughed at that. “I think I have too many luggage to fit in your Ferrari.”

“You can ask your manager to bring your luggage and I’ll drive you to the airport,” said Charles, as he reached out, intertwining their hands together. “I just thought… we don’t know when can we meet each other again.”

That’s true.

This situationship between the two of them, she doesn’t know if it will last after Paris. She doesn’t know if she can do a long distance… situationship… or if Charles even willing to do that. This date, could be the last date between the two of them.

She hates it.

She hates the mere thought of it.

“Hey,” started the female. “Do you want to continue this?”

Charles stared at her. “I do,” he answered. “What about you?”

“Me too.”

A smile bloomed on his face. “I’m glad,” he said. “I… was afraid that you doesn’t want to continue this… relationship.”

“I don’t know if this will work,” she started, holding his hand tighter. “I don’t even know how this will even work, honestly,” she said again. “We came from two different world, our job demands us to always travel around, and we don’t live in the same country but-“

She stopped.

She thinks, she will regret it forever if she left Charles here.

She thinks, romance is not something for her if she doesn’t pursue this relationship.

“I would like to try,” finished the female. “I would love to try and see how this relationship will work.”

Y/n thinks a weight had been lifted from her shoulder as she said that. As if, an invisible baggage has been lifted.

The breathtaking smile that appeared on Charles face made her think that she had decided on the correct decision.

“Me too,” said the male. “Let’s do our best, okay?”

They laughed.

Charles did drive her to the airport the next day.

It was a blessing that she will be flying private, because the hug and the kiss that Charles gave to her forehead will surely be the headline of every tabloids if someone ever posted it.

Sometimes, when she closed her eyes, she could remember everything so vividly.

Of days that was spent on the road. Of the hours spent on an airplane as they flew all across the world. Stadiums to stadiums. From one continent to another. Of thousands of fans cheering their name, repeating words full of love and devotions.

She could always remember it. The big plan that they had prepared as a thank you gift for the fans before the boys will do their military service. Of the countless of hours and so much love that they had devoted in those plans. Something that is full of promise. Things, that can close the first chapter of their career with a bang.

But of course, fate, had never been on their side.

When the pandemic hits and the world went into lockdown, it also means the end of all of their plans.

Y/n always regrets it. The way they close the first chapter of their career. She just felt that they didn’t gave the fans enough closure of preparations. That they didn’t give them enough devotion to repay back all of their love.

While it’s true they held a free concert for their fans – albeit a bit of a controversial one – she felt that it’s just not enough. They should’ve done more. They should’ve given them more promise that they will be back soon. That bts will not be disbanding and soon they will reunite once again as a group.

But alas, time continue to pass and so it the inevitable.

In the middle of December, Jin-oppa went into the military.

It was a cold day. She knows that the training will be harsh and cold. Jin-oppa doesn’t like the cold. She doesn’t like Jin-oppa leaving her like this. Y/n did try to not cry, she really did. But alas, the dam broke, and she went full on sobbing as she clutched the older male tightly.

The oldest member merely laughed, teasing her like usual as he patted her hair. As if he’s not going to leave her. As if, they’re in the middle of their normal banter and not in the middle of a military base.

“Be a good girl okay, n/n?” laughed the oldest member of bts. “Don’t be a brat with Jungkook and listen to the other members well.”

She let out a wet hiccup at that.

“Aigoo,” laughed Hobi-oppa as he slung an arm around her. “Our little n/n is crying because her brothers are going to the military?”

“All of you are so mean,” she grumbled, and she can already imagine the reaction from the fans when today’s Bangtanbomb will be released. “Leaving me all alone here.”

Jin-oppa smiled cheekily at that, grabbing her cheeks. “Don’t be dramatic y/n-ah,” he said with a large grin on his face. “You have other friends besides us, and we’ll still talk on our groupchat.”

“But it’s different from seeing you.”

It’s different because there is no Jin-oppa arriving at her house late at night with a bag full of fried chicken. It’s different because there is no Jin-oppa who always laughed and teased her during dance practice. It’s different because there is no Jin-oppa who always bugs her during vocal lessons, joking with that dry humor of his.

It’s different, because Jin-oppa is only the start.

(All of them will leave her soon.)

They parted soon after that, the members leaving Jin-oppa to say goodbye to his family. All of them continue to linger there, watching the older line up amidst other new recruits. She has to admit he looked good and comfortable there. It seems all the preparation that he did beforehand became useful.

As the entrance ceremony came to an end, they said goodbye to Jin-oppa’s family.

“Wanna eat something?” said Jimin-oppa as all of them walked towards the parking lot. “There’s a new restaurant in Gangnam that’s famous for their Japanese food.”

Y/n made a noncommittal noise at that as the other members agreed on that suggestion. Her eyes trained towards her phone.

Her heart did beat a bit faster than normal.

“Who are you texting?”

“No one,” replied y/n almost immediately, shutting off her phone as she directed her attention towards the other member who are staring at her. They had arrived at the Japanese restaurant a short while ago, immediately being ushered towards one of the private rooms. “Seriously.”

Jungkook, the one who asked the first question, quirked an eyebrow at that. “Really?” he probed further. “Because you were smiling dumbly.”

She hit his shoulder. “Rude,” she hissed out.

“Y/n met a guy in Paris,” informed Namjoon-oppa in a true traitorous manner as he casually looked up from his phone. As if he didn’t just betray her absolute trust towards him. “She’s been texting him nonstop since then.”

“Oppa-!” she screeched out.

“Oh?” said Taehyung-oppa, slinging an arm around her shoulder as a teasing glint appeared on his eyes. “Our little sister finally enjoying the beautiful world of romance?”

“Jungkook is younger than me! Stop treating me as if I’m the youngest!”

“But I’m more mature than you though?” piped up Jungkook.

“No no, let’s go back to our main topic,” interjected Jimin-oppa with a knowing grin on his face. “So, y/n finally met a guy? In Paris no less?”

Hobi-oppa laughed at that. “Sounds romantic,” he said, amusement clear on his tone. “Someone we know of?”

“No,” she said with a pout. “He’s not in the entertainment industry.”

The other members raised an eyebrow at that. “How did you even met then?” asked Yoongi-oppa, leaning forward towards the table. “He’s not someone sketchy right? I know this will be your first relationship but don’t meet someone that’s not good-“

“He’s a good guy! Really!” said the female, face red from embarrassment. She can’t believe she’s having this conversation right now. After all, she had only met Charles last week, it’s not like they’re going to get married soon or anything! “I know he didn’t approach me just to… you know, leech off of my fame.”

“And how do you know that?” asked Namjoon-oppa. All of them went quiet when the door to the private room was opened as the waiter gave them their orders. The leader of the group only continues when the waiter left the room. “I know I’m the one that’s encouraging you to get a boyfriend, but I also want you to meet a good guy.”

“He- he doesn’t know me,” said y/n, remembering the look on Charles’s face when they both revealed each other jobs. “Really. I also didn’t even know of him, or even his last name back then.”

Yoongi-oppa raised an eyebrow at that. “So, he’s someone famous?”

“Well, kinda? In certain circles?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” interjected Hobi-oppa. “Didn’t Namjoon told us that you spent the week hanging out with him in Paris?”

“Yes?”

“And back then you didn’t even know his last name?”

“… Yes?”

“Wow,” marveled Hobi-oppa. “It’s a wonder that you didn’t get killed.”

Jimin-oppa actually hits Hobi-oppa’s shoulder at that.

When they arrived back at the company, a red-faced secretary appeared in front of them.

“Y/n-sshi?” called out the woman, catching her attention.

Perking up, she gave her a small smile. “Yeah?” she said as her manager beckoned closer. She could see the rest of the members raising their eyebrows, also stopping on their track as they watched one half of their youngest member being called up. “Do you need something?”

“There’s a delivery for you,” said the woman. “It’s um-“

“Is it a fan gift?” asked her manager. “You know we’re not accepting fan gifts anymore.”

“No, no, no,” denied the woman with a frantic wave of her hands. “It’s a bit big but the managerial office did approve it! They said that it was given by y/n-sshi’s friend!”

And that made her raised an eyebrow. Her friend? She could count her friends with her hands. And knowing them, all of them are not the type of people that would send gifts to her office, and not her directly.

Though that train of thoughts stopped when another man appeared, holding the so-called gift.

It’s a bouquet. A large bouquet of peonies was being held by someone from the managerial office. It’s so big that it’s clear the man is struggling to hold the flower as he walked towards them. Y/n was thankful that they’re already in Bighit floor because she’s sure that her surprised face looked incredibly stupid.

Immediately, one thing came inside her mind.

Charles.

The conversation that they had during their dinner appeared inside of her head. Of her blabbering about her favorite things, peonies being one of them.

“It’s not even in season,” she breathed out, though she’s sure that there’s a large smile appearing on her face as she went to received the flowers. There’s a note in the middle of with English words being written on it. It says-

“Keep smiling for me, from Char, love emoji and a smiling face” reads out Namjoon-oppa as he appeared next to her, startling her. There’s a teasing smile on his face as he turned his attention to her. “Huh, this is actually really romantic.”

“Oppa!” she whined out, trying to hide the note from his prying eyes. “It’s rude to read it like that!”

“But we’re dying to know!” said Hobi-oppa as he slung an arm around her shoulder and peered towards the bouquet of peonies she’s holding. “Oh, so this is from your mysterious man?”

Y/n wants to die. She’s so embarrassed that she’s sure her face is flushed like a boiled seafood at this point.

“Char? Who is that?” asked Yoongi-oppa as he too approached them, staring at the flowers with a narrowed eyes. “The guy you’re seeing?”

“Char sounds like a foreigner name,” piped up Taehyung-oppa.

“It could be Kim Char,” said Jungkook, chiming in.

“Kim Char sounds stupid,” interjected Jimin-oppa with a frown.

She really wants to hide in a hole as the other members began teasing her and the so-called Char.

Though, she really can’t deny the warm feeling that appeared inside of her chest. He knows that she’s really close with the members. He knows how important the members are to her. He knows, that if one of them are leaving, she will be incredibly sad.

It’s the small things. The small gestures that always made her heart beats uncontrollably.

Doesn’t this mean that he also thinks about her? As much as how she’s always thinking about him? Doesn’t this mean that Charles wants to take their relationship a step further?

Warm smile and green eyes.

Dinners and late-night stroll in Paris.

Bouquet of roses and flushed faces.

Hands, intertwining together, and a conversation full of confessions.

This should scare her. This feeling that slowly started to bubble inside of her. This feeling that should not be subjected to a man that she had just met a few weeks ago. A man that should’ve been a stranger to her.

But romance always work in a mysterious way.

Ah, she thought. Incredibly giddy. I really really like him.

Nearing the end of December, Charles invited her for a ski trip with his friends.

She accepted, of course. Despite all of her nervousness, all of her overthinking, she still decided that it’s a great idea to be there. After all, Charles asked her to come. He had invited her to have a glimpse of his world. To introduce her to his friends and letting her in inside of his social circle.

It was nerve wrecking, especially after the realization of her feelings.

When she realized that she likes Charles – too much, too overwhelming – y/n almost went into a denial phase. After all, she had never felt something like this before. She had never allowed anyone to reach her heart this closely before. To realize that there’s someone in her heart-

It’s scary.

She doesn’t know what to do.

Both her and Charles still haven’t talked about their relationship. She knows that she really likes the male, and she knows that Charles probably also likes her. But they never talked about… whatever this was between the two of them.

This easy relationship between them. Where they both openly flirt with each other. Where Charles sent her flowers almost every day since they day they separated in Paris. This relationship where she felt comfortable to talked about everything and yet nothing to the male.

This relationship, where she decided to open her heart to a male with warm green eyes and large dimpled smile.

Maybe that’s why this trip seems important to her. She doesn’t want to lose this relationship after all. She doesn’t want his friends to not like her because they seem important to Charles. She wants them to see that both her and Charles are meant to be.

Despite the sunny smile and the hug that she received from Charles as she landed in Monaco, one glance towards his group of friends made her want to hide in a ditch somewhere. Charles had talked about them. The group of friends that he had been friends since forever. Almost like how bangtan is to her. All of them are guys, though some did bring their significant others, promising her girls company during the trip.

During that trip she met his younger brother for the first time, Arthur Leclerc. He’s three years younger than them with brown hair – lighter than his brother – and a huge smile. Just like Charles, he’s also a racing driver who is competing in the lower category right now.

“It’s good to finally meet the girl that my brother talked about nonstop,” was the greeting that Arthur gave her when they first met.

Y/n pretended that it doesn’t make her flustered.

As time went by, she must admit that the trip was fun. Y/n’s nervousness about giving them a good first impression seems unfounded as all of them welcomed her with an open arm. Some of the girls even giggled and whispered to her that they’re a fan, surprising her greatly. A lot of them seems fascinated by her job, saying things that it’s not every day that they’ll see a kpop artist hanging out with them.

The trip itself seems like a good idea. They had played boardgames together, enjoying the snow, and other activities. Y/n found herself enjoying every minute of it. Until today that is.

“No,” she said, hand shivering – not from the cold for once. “Charles, seriously, I can’t do this.”

Charles let out a laugh, hands gripped her own gloved ones. “Believe in me, chérie,” he said, standing beside her. “It’s not that scary, look at Arthur.”

And of course, Arthur is in front of them, gliding through the snow easily.

“I never went skiing before!” she yelped, flinching back at the mere thought of having to go down the steep mountain with these thin pieces of wood. “I’ll seriously die!”

“No, you’re not,” said Charles with a laugh. “You’re too pretty to die, and I’ll guide you.”

“Are you a professional at skiing?”

“Well, no-“

“Then you don’t have the qualification!”

If possible, he only laughed harder. Somehow finding amusement in her own state of panic. She wants to call him an asshole, but at the same time, Charles is the only thing that’s making sure that she will not tumble forward into the thick snow in front of them.

“Just follow me, three, two-“

“No!”

Charles, who had inched forward, was immediately yanked back by y/n who had surged backwards in pure instinct. The male didn’t expect it, making them tumbled backwards into the heaps of snow.

They landed in a bit of an awkward position. With y/n sprawled across the snow and Charles being practically on top of her, hand caging the female to prevent him to stumbled down towards her. It was an awkward and uncomfortable position, and yet, they didn't made any move to get out from that position.

Both of their eyes met as they stared at each other. Breath mingling with each other.

There was silence between them, as they processed what had just happened. Though, it was soon broken when they both let out a snort and began laughing with each other.

“Hi,” whispered Charles, face so so close. “You, okay?”

She wants to kiss him, she realized as she stared at him. The male looked breathtaking. There is snow on his darker locks, clinging and hanging for dear life. His eyes crinkled from how large his smile is.

Her hand grabbed the side of his face, almost unconsciously. Charles seems a bit surprised at that, though it didn’t take long for him to nuzzle on her gloved hand before giving her palm a kiss.

Thump, her heart beats once. Twice.

Thumpthumpthump-

“Yeah,” she breathed out. “Doesn’t mean I’ll try skiing again though.”

It was also during that ski trip that she asked Charles what they are.

Maybe it was because what happened earlier. Maybe it’s just her inpatient self. Maybe it’s just her wanting some sense of validation.

The both of them are sitting on the porch of their rented villa, hot chocolates on their hand. In the distant, she could hear the loud laughs and screams from their friends, no doubt enjoying the snow together. Both her and Charles had decided to retire early, far too worked up from the drama that y/n had made over skiing and how the male had basically force her to try it.

It didn’t work, leaving them sitting here as they watched the scenery together.

“Hey,” she called out, gaining his attention. “This thing between us… what are we?”

She could see the moment Charles wanting to answer something stupid like a ‘table’ considering there is a small table between the two of them right now. Though, her raised eyebrows seems to deter that intention.

“Well,” started the male, leaning back on his chair. “To start, I really like what’s going on between us.”

“Me too,” agreed the female as she curled her legs towards her chest. “I really like this.”

Charles chuckled at that, hand snaking towards the back of her chair before curling around her shoulder. “What do you want?” he asked. “I’ll follow whatever you want, I know your line of work doesn’t really accept dating but I…” trailed off the male, “I just want you to know that I never had these kinds of feelings with anyone before.”

It’s the same for me, she wants to say. I never felt something like this before.

(“I want you to experience the joy of love, even just once,” said Namjoon-oppa one night. “I think that’s one of the reasons that made us human. To be able love and being loved by others.”

Y/n had stared at him with eyes full of doubt. “Are you sure?” she had asked. “With our line of work, I think that love will only be an inconvenience.”

The male had laughed, patting the top of her head. “You have to experience it yourself to know it, n/n.”)

Maybe this is what Namjoon-oppa meant.

The grip that she had around her chocolate burns, though she really doesn’t care.

Why should she care when Charles is staring at her as if she’s the answer to all of his problems? Why should she care when Charles is staring at her as if the world revolves around her? Why should she care when her heart beats almost erratically – far too fast than usual -?

Why should she care when she’s sure that she shares the same feeling as Charles?

“I…” she started, staring at those warm warm green eyes. “I want us to date,” said the female finally. “Make it official.”

“Yeah?” grinned Charles as he leaned closer. “I also really like that.”

She hummed, cheeks flushed and heart far too loud on her ears.

“Hey, chérie?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Her world stopped.

Thump, her heart beats once. Twice.

Thumpthumpthumpthump-

E/c meet Charles’s warm green ones. Looking at him this closely, it was as if she could map out the constellation that’s peppering his face. How his long eyelashes perfectly framed his eyes and how his breath almost mingled with hers-

“Yes,” she whispered out.

The first kiss that they shared tasted like chocolate and peppermint.

The first of many.

Video calls had become a norm in their relationship.

Every day, without fail, they would call each other. Most of the time it was when Charles is finishing up his morning workout and she’s having her lunch. Sometimes it’s when Charles just went home – late at night – and y/n had just woken up from her sleep.

It’s nice, to be able to see his face and hear his voice every day.

When they’re not calling each other, the texts between them had become almost unstoppable. Y/n thinks the reason for that was because right now – during this point of time – the both of them are on their respective off season. Charles is having his winter break before the next season starts, and while y/n is preparing her solo debut, it’s not as actively as the other members who have a closer deadline compared to hers.

Despite only being limited to calls and texts, y/n finds herself really enjoying it. There’s just something about being woken up not by an alarm or her manager but by a call from Charles. Or there’s just something about seeing Charles after he had just finishing up his morning workout.

She will literally kill someone to be able to experience all those things directly.

“You’re still chatting with the guy?”

Closing the messenger app, she turned her head towards Taehyung-oppa who’s sitting next to her. Feet stretched and hands curled around the pillow on her lap.

“Yeah,” she said with a hum. “And I told you already, we’re dating now.”

The older chuckled at that. “My bad,” he said with a grin. “It’s a bit weird to think that the girl that always follows me and Jimin around now dating someone,” at this, his tone turned a bit dramatic. “My baby really grew up~”

She snorted at that. “You’re saying the same exact thing to Jungkook.”

“The both of you are my babies though,” said the male. “Anyway, are you going to meet him soon?”

Nodding, she showed him something on her phone. It’s a plane ticket, one way trip to Italy. “We’re going to meet up in Italy in January, before pre-season testing starts.”

“Cool,” replied the older man. “You said he’s a racing driver?”

“F1 driver,” she corrected as she shifted her attention towards the tv that had become, more or less, a background noise for the both of them.

They’re sitting inside bts artist lounge in HYBE, a room dedicated solely for them. She had been eternally grateful when the company made this room. After all, despite everything, a lot of the younger celebrities can’t relax when they’re in the same room with them.

“Why the sudden questions?” she asked, cocking her eyebrow together.

“Well,” started Taehyung-oppa. “You know how I went filming that new variety show in Mexico?”

Y/n nodded.

“My co-stars asked for your number,” he blurted out. “They’ve been asking for a while, to be honest. But they did become more persistent when it was announced that we’re having a group hiatus for a while.”

She fell silent at that.

Bts group hiatus had changed a lot of things, be it professionally or personally. More brands had approached her for their advertisements and campaigns, realizing that for the next few years, she wouldn’t be tied with bts as a group. Even collaborations, dramas, or even variety shows, had contacted HYBE for a chance of collaboration with her.

The female knows that the same thing also happened to the boys. More chance to do solo work, more chance to branch out of bts – the very thing that had become their life for the past years.

In a more personal manner, well-

Somehow, many had interpreted their hiatus as their disbandment. That this is the end of them as a group. That there is no way for them to reunite once again under bts. Which means many people had tried to get to know her more… personally.

She had enough discreet confessions and veiled flirtation during her time as an idol to last a lifetime. Somehow, those kinds of things increased dramatically now.

“You know my answer to that,” she chuckled weakly. “It’s like dating the best friends of your brother, weird,” continued the female.

“I know, I know,” waved of Taehyung-oppa.

A lot of things are changing, and she never felt so scared before.

She greeted Charles with a hug as he descended from the private plane.

“Hey,” said y/n, releasing the hug. Though, she could still feel Charles’s hand still curling around her waist. “Welcome to Korea,”

The male let out a laugh. “Such a warm welcome,” he teased.

Y/n rolled her eyes at that, still grinning, before she grabbed her hand and immediately drag him to the privacy of her car.

When Charles said that he wants to visit Korea, y/n immediately had everything prepared. From places to visit to foods that they should try together. Before this, she never realized how fun arranging a trip is.

For obvious reason, they can’t go to the popular places like Everland or other amusement parks. Museums though, is still an option. Charles had shown interest in arts and things like that, so y/n had asked Namjoon-oppa recommendations about museums that they should visit.

Besides museums, she had also dragged him to all of her favorite restaurants. Restaurants that only local knows. From the authentic Korean foods to fusions with western influences. She’s glad that Charles is not afraid to try different kind of food, though the expression on his face when he saw a still moving octopus on his plate is a bit too funny to not be recorded.

Despite its being a short trip, she had taken so many photos of Charles. There’s one from Jeju Island, there’s one with him holding a bts album, there’s also one when he fell asleep on her bed.

It warms her heart, to see her boyfriend inside her house.

It warms her heart so much that that photo became her lockscreen.

A team from Cartier had come to South Korea to shoot a campaign with her.

They had marveled and exclaimed, patting her skin with makeup as they talked in rapid French and English.

“Dearie,” said one of them, painted lips smiling widely. “You’re glowing, more so than when I saw you in Paris.”

She hummed at that.

Paris felt like a lifetime ago. So many things had happened that she almost lost track of time. “You think so?” she asked with an easy smile. “Do I look better?”

“Of course,” said another as she clasped a diamond necklace on her neck. “You look amazing, dear.”

Y/n laughed at that. “You give me too much praise.”

“No, no, no,” said the woman. “I’m telling you the truth here!”

“Of course, of course,” she answered easily. “So, what kind of glow do I emit?”

“You look like a woman in love.”

Her heart almost stopped at that.

Love.

Isn’t it far too soon?

Isn’t she falling in love far too easily?

“Really?” asked the female, trying to not show her wavering voice. “Do I really look like a woman in love?”

“Yes,” breathed out the woman. “A woman, who had fell in love deeply.”

Maybe I am.

She went to Italy late January.

The first thing that appeared inside her mind when she arrived to Maranello is, obviously, Ferrari. From her hotel room with bright red walls and a picture of a Ferrari Formula One car team hanging everywhere, to the prancing horse statues that she sees everywhere in the town.

It seems, the team is the pride and joy of the town, she thought as she watched the Ferrari flag hanging from the building as she made her way to the city center. Which is good, because this means that no one will recognize a random kpop idol in the middle of this formula one obsessed city.

Charles is the star here. Every time he appeared, every time he went into town, everyone would crowd around him.

“Charles!” yelled one of them in Italian when both y/n and Charles is having lunch. “You did good last season!”

The male laughed, yelling a “Thank you!” towards the other.

It happened so many times that she almost lost count. It’s clear that he’s adored and loved. Though, to see how loved he is, is a bit surprising.

“You’re so famous,” she said as she entered their hotel room. “It’s amazing to see.”

He hugs her from behind, wrapping his arm around her torso tightly. “It’s a bit weird for you to say that” he said, a bit muffled on her neck. “You have like 50 million followers, chérie.”

“Followers doesn’t mean everything,” she laughed, as they moved towards the balcony on their room.

From here, they could see the city of Maranello almost at its entirety. Something that she surely will remember when she went back to Korea.

Charles had released his hold over her, entering their room before appearing besides her with two glasses of wine. He handed one of them towards her without a word.

“My name is going to be here one day,” said Charles, hand circling around her shoulder. “In one of the streets.”

Y/n nuzzled further towards the crook of his neck. “Is that a Ferrari driver privilege?” she asked.

“No, it’s Ferrari’s world champion privilege,” said the male with a grin. “I’m going to win it.”

She let out a hum at that. The way Charles phrased that statement is not ‘if I win it’ but ‘I’m going to win it’. It’s so full of conviction and truth. He truly believes that one day, he will win the championship under Ferrari.

“You really love Ferrari,” she stated, looking up towards him.

Charles looked down, one hand coming to her face to pinch her cheek softly. “It’s my dream team,” he said. “All my life- it’s always the red car for me. I remember watching the grand prix from my friend balcony and all I could see it the red car winning the races.”

His dedication to his team is inspiring. The way he talked about Ferrari, it was as if he’s talking about his family. There’s a certain shine on his eyes as he rambled about his races and how great the car that they had last season.

It almost reminded her of her own team.

Devotion. That’s what she could feel from Charles. He had devoted his life for Ferrari. He had made his mind – and she knows that the male is a really stubborn guy – that he will win with Ferrari. That he will prove his nickname as the predestined one to be true. To bring back, the championship to Ferrari.

After all, when you win with Ferrari, you became legend.

“Of course,” she said, smiling. “And when you win your first championship, I will be there, cheering for you.”

The smile that Charles gave her is almost blinding.

“Do you think making our relationship public a good idea?”

Y/n stared at him, unable to answer.

She doesn’t know.

Surprisingly, Hybe doesn’t object her decision to make her relationship public.

“You’re in your tenth year already,” said PD-nim as the older male ate his dinner in front of her. “And this kind of things… didn’t we promise all of you that we will give you full reign over it?”

She tightened the grip on her chopstick.

Because what the male said is the truth. In order to make sure that all of them can do their reunion in 2025, they had decided to renew the contract with HYBE. Full reign over their artistic directory and personal life is one of the clause.

Still, even though HYBE gave her their permission, y/n can’t help but second doubting that decision.

Dating scandal is a taboo. It could ruin her career. It could ruin bts’s career. The stigma of her sleeping around with her members would grow once again. People would talk. How she’s a slut. How she’s only dating rich men.

It could be the end of her.

“I don’t think you should worry much,” said Jimin-oppa as she asked him about his opinion. “You should belief in our fans, not random online trolls.”

And the thing is- yes. She believes on their fans.

She knows that ARMY wants her to be happy.

She knows that ARMY won’t turn their back on her over these kinds of things.

But still, it’s only normal for her to be a bit nervous at this kind of things. She’s going to share a huge part of her life after all. The first one to ever publicized her relationship in bts.

Scary.

So so scary.

“We’re going to put up the announcement tomorrow if you’re sure with this,” said her manager, showing the already written announcement. “There will be backlash, obviously, but I think this decision will be healthier for you.”

“Yes,” she answered. “I know.”

“This can also be the start of a movement, y/n,” said the male. “It’s about time for the Korean entertainment industry to get rid of the dating taboo. Idols are human. They’re not some machine and dolls that the public can control. They deserve to love and to be loved.”

Idols are not dolls.

It’s normal for them to crave a romantic relationship.

“You are the biggest celebrity in South Korea,” continue her manager. “With you publicly announcing your relationship, we can change the industry to have a better culture around idols.”

And,

And isn’t that what bts stands for?

They want to change the culture in the South Korean entertainment industry. They want to break all of the stigma that everyone has over idols. They want to make a better working environment for the idols in this industry.

Less abuse.

Less control.

More freedom.

They want idols to have more power over their company and the public. They want idols to have their own hold over their life. They want idols to be able to live like an actual human being. To know things and to be able to experience normal emotions that they never had felt before.

They, want to change this industry.

With that, she steeled her nerve one last time.

“Yes,” she finally said. “Let’s announce it to the world.”

Hello this is Bighit Music

This is an official statement regarding Y/n L/n, one of the artist under HYBE labels.

Recently, Y/n had entered a romantic relationship with a close friend of hers, Charles Leclerc. They are maintaining a serious relationship.

Please show lots of support so they can continue this beautiful relationship.

Thank you.

Truth to be told, when Charles first started a conversation with the pretty girl on the bar, he was not expecting anything besides a quick hookup or maybe a mere short conversation.

While it’s true that she’s beautiful – probably the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen – he doesn’t have any plan to pursue her. He was so sure that he’s not looking for any relationship. The sting of finishing second on the championship after completely dominating the first few races had still annoyed him greatly. Charles was determined that for the next season he will only focus on his racing career and the battle for the title of world champion.

That is, until the woman smiled at him.

He had never been a believer of love at first sight. He had always thought that love is something that you need to nurture. Something that you should put a lot of effort in. He had believed that love is not something spontaneous. It was not something that struck you all of the sudden in the middle of an overpriced celebrity exclusive charity gala.

Though, what does Charles know about love anyway?

When the woman let out that bright grin – eyes crinkling, and eyebrows raising a bit – he felt as if his world became a brighter. That all of the sudden the loud music around them became quiet and the only thing that he could focused on is her and only her.

As if, there is no burden of the Ferrari legacy on his shoulder. As if, he haven't let down the tifosi these past few years. As if, the sting of coming second place in the driver championship had been nonexistent.

Throughout the night as they continue to converse, he can’t help but follow each of her movement. The way that she will twirl her hair around her finger when she got nervous, the way her long nails gripped the glass, the way her painted lips would stretch into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen as she laughed and converse with him.

They talked about everything and yet nothing. From his horrible attempt of flirting to her decision to drink alone in the middle of the event. He could see the glances that was being thrown around towards them, a blatant show of them being interested on their conversation.

When the night was over, he was half in love already. Giving her his name and number is a no brainer.

Honestly, he was not expecting her to response to his offer for dinner. They didn’t know anything about each other after all. Though another part of him is trying to convince himself that that’s what having a dinner for. To get to know each other.

He had stared at his phone for a long time, glancing at it every couple of minutes until his manager reprimanded him about being distracted. That is until she responded, saying that she would love to have a dinner with him.

The few days where they had dinner together is the highlight of his trip to Paris. Which is a bit funny because he doesn’t even want to come to Paris at first – citing about medias and promoting brands that he had never even used before. Though in the end, he had been grateful at his decision to come.

Meeting y/n, had changed his world.

It was as if, his previously monotone world is now being filled with color. As if, before he met this woman, he never truly knows what living means.

It’s crazy how much he enjoys being in her presence. How much he loves to make her laugh and to show him sides that she had never allowed anyone else to see.

It’s crazy, how fast he’s falling in love with her.

“Are you serious with her?” asked Pierre when they met in Monaco. “Because dating her will bring a lot of media attention. This isn’t like your previous relationship, Char.”

He knows.

He knows that there’s a lot of risk from dating her. From dating such a high profile star like her. He knows all of that. If Charles is a smarter man, he would’ve ran. If Charles is a smarter man, he would stop all of his advances towards her. If Charles is a smarter man-

Y/n lets out a laugh.

It's the most beautiful thing in the world.

Well.

Charles had always been stupid, isn’t he?

Spending time with her is addicting. It was as if he wants to spend every second of her life with her. As if he’s ready to commit-

The skiing trip had been blissful. He had felt that him and y/n had grown closer and closer. The kiss that they shared during the trip also helps the giddy feeling that always erupted inside of his chest every time he thinks about her.

I’m in love with her, he thinks. I’m in love with her, he wants to scream so that the world knows his feelings.

It’s addicting. He thinks this feeling will never fade.

He thought that there is no way he can love her more than now, though, as he saw her walking in the paddock, wind brushing her hair as she stood there inside the Ferrari garage-

Yes, he thought. I want to spend my life with her.

Going to a Formula One race is not something that she really had thought of before.

Her dad is a big fan though. When she was a kid and before her family moved to South Korea, her dad used to take their family to watch the Italian Grand Prix every year. Back then, she was not that interested – to the dismay of her father – and then as she grew up, she got way too busy to even think about the sport anymore.

At last, until today.

The loud sound of the engine reverberated throughout the track.

Y/n could feel the tense atmosphere that engulfed the Ferrari garage. All of them watching the screen with nervousness clear on their face.

Charles is leading the race with a red bull hot on his tail.

She doesn’t know that she will be this invested on watching fast cars going in circles, but this is Charles. This is the love of her life riding the fast cars going in circles.

There are a lot of hushed whispers, people commenting and watching the race with a bated breath. The sky is dark, only making the bright light around the track a bit more intimidating.

“Do you think he’ll win?” she asked Fred, the team principal of Ferrari. He had welcomed y/n with an open arm earlier. It seems that he’s delighted by the attention that y/n had brought to the team. “I’m- I’m really nervous.”

“If he keep this pace,” started the older man. “I’m positive that he will take the win.”

("I'm going to be a world champion," said Charles, tone full of confidence. He's sure of that. He's sure, that someday, he will bring back the championship to Ferrari.

And y/n wants to believe.)

It’s really nerve wrecking to see the last few laps. After all, from what she knows, the Red Bull that’s chasing Charles is last year championship winner, Max Verstappen. Charles had also said that there’s an ongoing intense rivalry between him and Max. A rivalry that had spanned across their childhoods up until now.

Their rivalry had been compared to the greats of Formula One. Niki Lauda and James Hunt. Senna and Prost.

Leclerc and Verstappen.

It meant a lot to Charles. He had confessed that he had been chasing Max's back for years. To desperately prove to everyone that Charles is too, a once in a generation talent. That he too, will be one of the greats in Formula One.

This time, it's Max chasing Charles.

She can only breathed out a chocked sob when Charles entering his last lap, still leading the race.

“Oh my god,” she said as the Ferrari team ran out of the garage. “Oh my god!”

She watched as Charles takes the win.

It was a celebration that he had only ever watched through the screen. A sea of red. Ferrari flags waving from the wind. Words full of adoration and reverence.

Charles, who had climbed out of his car and standing on top of it, pointing towards the sky as he shouted out his happiness.

"YES!" he had screamed, joy clear on his face and on his voice. "YESS!"

Y/n chocked out a sob.

He really won the first race of the season. An amazing way to start the season. A season that meant so much to him.

She stood there, amongst the crowd of red as she stared at her boyfriend being hugged by his team. Soon, his attention drifted towards her, and an even larger grin appeared on his face.

“You did it,” she whispered out as she hugged him. He let out a a loud laugh at that. “That was amazing-“

The female didn’t finish her words as Charles cut it as he pressed their lips together. She could feel countless cameras and eyes directed towards them as whoops and hollers appeared all around them.

She will be scolded by her manager.

The company will call her after this.

Though, she seems to not care about all of that at this moment.

“I love you,” he breathed out as their lips parted.

Grin still wide and a bit teary eyed, she lets out. “I love you, too.”

It’s safe to say that their fans broke the internet shortly after.

End

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pureureunn · 6 months ago

Text

“Fuck fate.”

Prologue

pairing : ot7 x reader/oc

genre : fluff, angst, reverse harem, reincarnation!au, idol!au, novel!au, sub!bts x dom!reader/oc, actress!reader, model!reader, idol!bts, villainess!reader/oc

notes : jungkook is a simp. Lots of cursing. The timeline for this will be messy, I’ll try not to make it that messy though :(

summary : in which jungkook goes down the rabbit hole that’s Valentina Lee.

Jeon Jungkook adores you.

He didn’t really expect it, honestly. He saw you maybe a few times as a trainee (you were everywhere—posters, signs, and even in his social media feed) and even before they toured the world with their album—Wings. No, he saw you much earlier than that. Maybe saw you in a few billboards, posters hanging on walls, saw your name go trending in twitter a couple of times, heard your name here and there. He knows you. Who wouldn’t? You were bigtime famous. Anyone would know you.

Producers would sing your name, brands would be eager to collab with you, every video of you trending, a mere appearance of you sending the social media in a frenzy

(Jungkook remembers seeing his twitter crash, eyes blinking before restarting the app and seeing that it just won’t open. It lasted for a whole day.)

But that doesn’t mean that he knows know you.

Until he watched a video of you. It was just a simple compilation really. It was after their first day during the World Tour of Wings. He was just laying down, can’t seem to sleep and Jungkook thought that he might as well watch something. And he came across you. In his recommended videos. With the title,

“Valentina being the most cracked up unhinged (sweetest) person on earth”

And Jeon Jungkook, bored out of his mind—who can’t sleep at the ungodly hour of 2am. Watched it.

And oh god, Jungkook watched you.

It was just one video. It was just supposed to be one video. Just one.

Until one turned to two, two turned to three, three turned to four—and the next thing Jungkook knows it’s already morning with his alarm blearing through his phone and he blinked owlishly.

Oh, he thought. It’s already morning.

Strangely enough, he didn’t feel tired despite not getting any sleep. Energetic even. He looked down on his phone, seeing the ongoing video of you on his screen.

It was a compilation of you on stage. With knee-high boots, a sparkly top that Jungkook knows made you uncomfortable, a mini skirt, wavy long hair, and a simple makeup that suited your features.

“Times when Valentina made me straight (I’m gay)”

Jungkook paused the screen and exited the app, making a mental reminder to listen to your songs later on.

It was glaringly obvious that day how Jungkook had loads of energy to spare like a little kid on a sugar rush. He would run—not jog, but run. During soundcheck, he would giggle and jump and run almost everywhere. They wondered what it was, but nonetheless happy for their maknae.

Later that day, Jeon Jungkook went through every album—every song you had. And it was safe to say that was all that was in his mind for well, an indefinite time.

On the next few days, Jeon Jungkook finished half of your movies. Even when they had practice, even when he knew he had to sleep because they had a flight tomorrow morning, even when Jungkook knew they were busy.

Jeon Jungkook made sure he finished every movie you had.

The week following that, Jungkook finished every movie starring you. Wether you were a side character, or even just a small cameo. Jungkook made sure to watch them.

And in less than a month, Jeon Jungkook fell into a rabbit hole called Valentina Lee.

Somehow, Jungkook’s more… energetic?

His hyungs noticed. Not that it was bad per se, they were happy that he’s having fun but they did wonder where this sudden spur of energy come from. Ever since their first day in their tour, Jungkook was more lively. More energetic. He was always humming something and he’s usually watching something on his phone.

Kim Namjoon watched Jungkook from the corner of his eyes, noting his gleeful smile as he joked around with Jin. The hyungs were worried of the maknae for this tour, concerned that Jungkook would be too hard on himself as they know that he tends to push himself too hard. But he’s doing okay, Namjoon thought. Namjoon didn’t know what spurred this on, but he buried it at the back of his mind. As long as he’s happy and well.

—

“He has a crush.”

“What?” Namjoon teared his eyes away from Jungkook as he faced Yoongi, “A crush? On who?”

“Valentina Lee.” Oh

Kim Namjoon knows you, of course he does. Anyone would. You’re bigtime famous of course, even people who didn’t know you, knows you.

“Ah,” He chuckled, “Was that why he seems extra.. lively? The past few weeks.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi replied, a soft smile curling his lips as he remembers when Jungkook talked about you. “He really idolize her.” He added, “He kept on mentioning her songs and I always see him watching videos of her on his phone.” Yoongi smiled.

Namjoon chuckled as he looks at Jungkook, “Well, as long as he’s happy.”

Yoongi couldn’t agree more.

It was safe to say that the next day, everyone knew of Jungkook’s crush to you. Not that he minded though, he was proud of it. You were an amazing woman and your achievements was something he’d always be proud of.

Well maybe Jimin’s relentless teasing sometimes makes him embarrassed.

—

“I didn’t think you’d understand me~” Jungkook hummed as he exits the shower, “How could you ever even try?~” His english wasn’t perfect yet, but he’s working on it. As Jungkook hums, he circled around the bed in search for his phone. Opening the app, he begins to watch videos of you. Again.

“It’s his bedtime story.” Jin laughs as he slapped Hoseok’s arm. “Aish Hyung!” said man complained while rubbing his arm. Meanwhile, Jungkook just wore a grin as his hyungs teased him.

Chuckling at the memory, Jungkook laid down on his bed as he started watching another compilation video of you.

“Valentina Lee makes me wanna bark.”

Jungkook lightly laughs at the title, but it wasn’t long before his entire world revolved around you. You you you you. Your voice, your laugh, your smile—Jungkook immersed himself to you. He's been watching you—admiring you for months now. Listening to your songs, watching videos of you, he was tuned in. Tuned in to you. And Jungkook would proudly say that you were one of the major people that made him enjoy this tour a lot more.

So despite the numerous times he didn’t sleep because he liked watching you, there were also times where he fell asleep because he likes watching you.

And this was just another one of those days.

As Jungkook drifted off, he couldn’t help but let out a small smile. After all, Jeon Jungkook really does adore you.

So imagine his dumbfounded face and doe wide eyes, exactly as he stared at the article showing in his phone as soon as he woke up.

“What the fuck?!”

Now, Jungkook didn’t curse a lot. His hyungs (despite him being in legal age) made it a point between themselves to not curse that much in front of their maknae. Something about raising him. And when he does—when they do curse, it’s usually because of something that shocks them. Or because of a situation that deserved to be cursed.

And this? Jungkook definitely thinks this situation is cursed, because why the fuck is this happening?

And there it was, in big, red, capital letters displayed on his phone.

“THE DOWNFALL OF VALENTINA LEE?” — Valentina Lee, or more known as VAL, was recently caught in a scandal with a rising actor..

Honestly, Jeon Jungkook knew of that guy. He never really approved of him, which was quite ridiculous to say as he never met the person and Namjoon-hyung and his other hyungs taught him that it’s not wise to judge someone but Jungkook couldn’t help it.

He watched you.

Through the countless videos of you two, the instagram lives, the pictures, and the numerous articles.

And he knows that guy is just not good.

As Jungkook read the article, he can’t help but curse even more.

VAL allegedly approached the actor with inappropriate intentions as..

Approached?! Inappropriate??!!!

Furthermore, following to the actor’s statement; “She suddenly forced herself to me that night, she was drunk and she smelled of cigarettes. And-‘

The fuck? Drunk?? Cigarettes???

Jungkook blinked once, twice. And suddenly let out a string of curses. Val-noona would never do that! She doesn’t even drink! And cigarettes?? She hates the smell of that!

What the fuck is this fucking asshole saying aish-

Anastasia, his girlfriend had a statement regarding the situation. “I just don’t know why she would do that you know?” She cried, “I’ve been her fan for as long as I can remember so this is really heartbreaking to me-“

Heartbreaking my ass, Jungkook rolled his eye.

“She always moved closer to me.” The actor states, “I’d move away of course, especially when she gets touchy but she doesn’t really get it.” He added.

Gritting his teeth, Jungkook scrolled down to the comments with a frown.

: she’s such a slut lol

: dang he has a girlfriend dude. What a homewrecker

: drunk? I aint even gonna be surprised if she’s high as fuck and doin drugs lmao

: lololol rightt

: I don’t believe this!

: yeah, tf is this asshole saying? VAL-unnie hates the smell of cigarettes.

: ikr? Why tf would she be drunk and smell of cigarettes?

: lmao, idc that’s just a facade she put.

: lololol cant accept the fact that she’s such a whore? Lmaooo the proof is right here

: I’ve been her stan but.. can’t believe she’s like this

: i know right..

Jungkook huffed as he sat up, a frown on his face with his eyebrows furrowed. Biting his bottom lip, he can’t help but be worried for you. He knows you’re not like that. Call him delusional or something, but he knows. Even if he just knows you for only a few months and perhaps he was quite a young fan now—but that doesn’t make him any less of a fan.

Remembering the article on his phone, Jungkook clenched his jaw and ruffled his hair.

“Aish! That fucking bastard-“

A knock, and then a voice. “Jungkookie? Are you okay?”

Hobi-hyung. Jungkook realized, and with a huff. Jungkook treads towards the door, eyes burning with hatred as his mouth opens.

He opens the door, “Hobi-hyung! Can you believe this bastard did this to Val-noona?!” He shoved the phone screen in his face.

Hoseok blinks.

“What?”

Hoseok blinked at Jungkook—who’s currently glaring at his screen like it just stole his favorite shirt. “Alright Jungkook-ah, you should get ready for today.” Hoseok gently pushed Jungkook in and lead him in the middle.

Jungkook didn’t say anything and just continued glaring at his screen before huffing and storming to the bathroom, muttering a bunch of words Hoseok can’t hear but by the murderous look in his eyes he knows it’s not good.

Jeon Jungkook may be young and some people may call him naive for judging the basta—actor, right away but he doesn’t regret it.

Jeon Jungkook knows you. He watched you.

And Jungkook will never forgive that man.

Not when Jeon Jungkook adores you.

#bts ot7 x reader #bts fic #bts fanfic #reincarnation #novel #reincarnated #isekai #villainess #Jungkook x reader #Jimin x reader #Namjoon x reader #Seokjin x reader #Hoseok x reader #Yoongi x reader #Taehyung x reader #bts x reader

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whyse7vn · 1 year ago

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JEON JUNGKOOK

FIVE SENSES:

SMELL

To Jungkook you smell like home. Always have probably always will. Sweet. Your scent is sweet not an overpowering sweet but not an underwhelming one either it’s just right, just you. Before you and him even thought about getting an apartment together you still smelt like home to him. Like he said you always have. The very first dorm that the group moved into you and Jungkook were actually roommates. Although he didn’t talk to you much, given he didn’t talk to anyone that much during those times, He enjoyed hearing you babble about everything and nothing from the bottom bunk each night, he enjoyed sharing the confined space with you. So when you had to move into your own room for “privacy reasons” or whatever Namjoon said he was upset, understandably so. And to add insult to injury they had given you the room furthest from his. Your presence, well lack of presence in now just his room was unsettling. He felt as if he couldn’t relax in his own room like something was missing-well you were missing but it’s not like you had moved out of the house completely you were just down the hall yet Jungkook felt so…. uncomfortable. In his own room, his own space, his own home. Uncomfortable. It wasn’t until two weeks later when Jungkook had finally worked up the courage visit your room, pathetic he knows, he understood why. As soon as he opened the door the sweet smell of you overtook him. Home. Here Jungkook officially named the smell of you home.

TOUCH

With everything you handle you do it with love, care and delicacy physical or not. It may not always seem that way to others but Jungkook knows, hell he’s experienced it himself more times than he can count. So when Jungkook reaches to touch you he only hopes it radiates the same level of love, care and delicacy you show to him and others. In fact he prays his touch radiates those same traits and more. Jungkook prays that through his touch you can feel his passion, desire, his need for you. Your skin soft in Jungkook’s palm, he thinks about all the times you’ve held your hand to his face looked him deep in the eyes and tucked his loose hair behind his ears. He repeats the same actions on you, your cheek warm, he hopes you feel the same butterflies he does when your the one holding him, hopes you want to kiss him as bad as he wants to kiss you in these moments. Everything about Jungkook’s touch on you is warm every high five, every hand hold to every kiss fuelled by nothing but love and admiration. Physical touch Jungkooks preferred love language solely because of you. He lives for your touch no doubt about it deep down he prays you live for his.

SOUND

The sound of your voice is calming to him, sometimes it scares the shit out of him and on occasion (many) it makes him feel…. things. Ultimately Jungkook likes the sound of your voice scratch that he loves the sound of your voice. Since trainee days he’s loved the sound of your voice. You talk a lot,much to his delight, you know being the shy kid and all he didn’t always talk much as he does now so having the sound of your voice was really a blessing. Your voice allowed him to be included provided him comfort and gave him friendship. The sound of you alone could has and will continue to stop him dead in his tracks every time. He enjoys the sound of you in all forms anger, happiness, joy, sadness, pleasure don’t get it wrong by no means does Jungkook enjoy when your angry or sad in fact if you’re crying he’s crying right alongside you but there is a small part of him that does enjoy that he’s able to hear the sound of you in these moments. Reminds him you’re actually real that you’re actually here with him. The sound of you grounds him. The sound of you is calming.

TASTE

Obsessed. Jeon Jungkook is obsessed with the taste of you. Unapologetically obsessed. From the taste of your lips to the taste of your… uh well…. lips. Much like the smell of you, you taste sweet but unlike the smell of you Jungkook could write a 14 paged essay on what exactly the taste of you is. Honey sweet honey you taste like what he imagines the shiniest star is the sky tastes like warm life changing just so fucking good. Call Jungkook an addict he would take the title with no shame whatsoever having the taste of you on his lips and on his mind constantly worth any title they threw at him although he would prefer ‘the luckiest man alive’. Now the first time you kissed Jungkook, yes you willingly kissed Jungkook, he swears that he was reborn died right there on the spot died again and was reborn. The kiss no joke was the best kiss he has truly ever had in his life as soon as your sweet warm honey star life changing lips came in contact with his he could of cried well, he did cry but not in front of you, no in front of you after the kiss he gave you a quick bow and a small “thank you” with a extremely red face before running off, again Jungkook DID NOT CRY (in front of you). However first time Jungkook got to taste you again, if you know what i mean, admittedly he did cry in front of you, how could he not? If kissing you was him being reborn this was like getting murdered. Shot in the back of the head close range no warning with a wife a house a dog and a newborn on the way. He was in heaven, had to be, a babbling fucking mess in heaven. The taste of you too good unreal almost. So yeah that time Jungkook did cry in front of you so what? You were into it anyways he thinks… he hopes, whatever 10/10 would do again. When it comes to the taste of you Jungkook doesn’t play the taste of you makes him unapologetically feral.

SIGHT

No phrase in any language no word in any dictionary could accurately describe the sight of you. Not breath taking not pretty not cute not sexy none of those words are you because you’re all of them and more, you’re just so… beautiful. He settles on beautiful, still it lacks the kick that he needs it to have, the warmth, the love, appreciation the everything but he’s fighting a loosing battle at this point so as much as it hurts him to he settles on beautiful. From the hairs on your head to the tip of your toes, inside and out. You by far the most beautiful sight Jungkook has ever seen.

—

moral of the story jungkook a munch ☠️

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl

#bts crack #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts texts #bts x y/n #bts fanfic #bts x you #bts x reader #jungkook × reader #jungkook x y/n #!gc jungkook #gc offline #jeon jungkook

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sweetdreams1994 · 5 months ago

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Chapter One: The Final Evaluation

Summary

As a hardworking trainee, you’ve spent years pushing yourself to debut. When the final evaluation comes, you’re chosen as the sole candidate—but what you don’t realize is that your fate was already sealed. BTS, the seven men you idolized, manipulated everything to make sure you were theirs.

At first, their attention feels like a blessing to aid you as a trainee. Then, it becomes suffocating. Their possessiveness turns them against each other, each one willing to destroy the others just to have you alone.

⚠️ Content Warnings: ⚠️

Intense competition & high pressure, Verbal & emotional manipulation, Psychological stress & anxiety, Mild violence & aggression (dragged by security), Favoritism & corruption, Strong language, smut, y/n is 18+

The air in the HYBE practice room was thick with tension, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead as dozens of trainees lined up against the mirrored walls. Your heart pounded as you stared at the polished wooden floor beneath your feet, hands clenched into fists at your sides.

This was it—the final evaluation.

As you watched the other trainees complete their evaluations with effortless precision, a sinking feeling of nervousness mixed with terror settled in your stomach. Months—years—of grueling training had led to this moment. The instructors stood at the front, their expressions unreadable as they flipped through their clipboards. Some of the trainees beside you whispered prayers under their breath; others stood frozen, their gazes fixed forward like soldiers awaiting judgment.

A deep voice murmured your name.

You inhaled. Then exhaled.

*This is it. Your chance to cement your dreams into reality. To prove that every sleepless night, every injury, every sacrifice—meant something. *

You stepped forward, waiting for the music to start. The moment the beat dropped, your body moved instinctively, each motion executed with precision. Your voice never wavered as it blended seamlessly with the melody. Every note, every step, every practiced smile—this was what you had trained for.

As the backtrack came to a halt, you held your final pose, a fake smile masking the storm raging in your mind. The room was silent, save for the faint scribbling of pens against paper.

Then—

“Next.”

The word was cold. Detached.

Your heart clenched, but you quickly bowed, gathered your things from the side of the training room, and hurried out.

Unbeknownst to you, a pair of dark eyes lingered on your retreating figure—a quiet fixation taking root.

The next few hours passed in a haze as you sat in the trainee common area, chatting with other girls, your nerves gnawing at you like a relentless ache. Every so often, the doors to the training room would swing open, revealing girls in tears or others brimming with unshaken confidence.

One of them was Ya-rin.

She was someone you weren’t particularly fond of.

“So, Y/N,” she purred, sliding into the seat beside you, her lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Your final performance wasn’t what I was expecting… The judges seemed so stone-faced, didn’t they?”

The words were sugar-coated, but the malice behind them was unmistakable.

Ya-rin had always been at the top. Her beauty, charm, and undeniable talent made her a favorite among both the trainers and the public. But when the cameras were off, and the facades were dropped, she was ruthless. She knew her worth and made sure everyone else did too.

She never let you forget that she was meant to debut.

And honestly, you had to admit—she wasn’t wrong.

“Everyone to the training room!”

A staff member’s voice rang through the common area, and the room shifted instantly. Conversations halted. Chairs scraped against the floor as girls rushed toward the door.

Your pulse quickened.

As you followed the crowd, you caught a glimpse of Ya-rin’s expression. For the first time, her smirk faltered.

Only ten of you remained.

You swallowed thickly, standing among the last few girls left. Despite the slight relief that you had made it this far, you refused to let your hopes rise.

Even if I don’t make it… I’ll go to university. I’ll have a normal life. I’ll be okay.

But some part of you—the part that had spent years clawing your way to this moment—knew you’d hate yourself for it.

The room stilled as the instructor stepped forward.

“This year, we are selecting one trainee for debut.”

Silence.

The air grew suffocating.

One.

That was impossible. Every evaluation had been preparing for a group debut. There were supposed to be five of you.

Not one.

The instructor glanced down at his clipboard.

“Ji-won, Hae-won, Hana, Seulgi, Jisoo, Dani, Nari, and Ye-won. Please exit the training room. You were not selected.”

A sharp inhale.

You barely registered the girls around you breaking down—tears slipping silently down their faces, whispers of disbelief filling the air.

You stood frozen, staring at the clipboard in the instructor’s hands as if you could decipher your fate through sheer willpower. Beside you, you felt Ya-rin tense.

The instructor met her gaze.

“Miss Ya-rin, you have not been selected to debut. Please exit the room.”

Your head snapped toward her.

Her hands clenched into fists. Her eyes, wide and glistening, darkened with fury.

“ARE YOU JOKING? THAT SHOULD BE ME!” she shrieked, stepping forward. “There were supposed to be five of us! I did everything you fucking asked! You pieces of shit, I swear one day you’ll get your karma, I’ll—”

A security guard grabbed her arm, dragging her toward the door as she thrashed violently, her voice rising in sheer desperation.

The other girls trickled out slowly, their silent sobs echoing in your ears.

Your breath caught in your throat.

The realization hit you like a freight train.

You were going to debut.

As a soloist.

You had won.

But how?

How had you won?

You weren’t stupid. Even though you despised Ya-rin, you knew talent when you saw it. She was supposed to debut. The way the trainers had always favored her, the way she outshined the other trainees—it didn’t make sense.

Something wasn’t right.

But who were you to question it?

You were the last one standing.

And you’d be damned if you let anyone take this from you.

#bts #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts ot7 #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #kpop trainee #idol au #yandere #tw stalking #kpop #bts army #chapter 1 #series

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bts-isiah · 13 days ago

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⠀⠀─── ა ྀིྀི ⁀ ISIAH PROFILE ࿐ !

I'm a motherfuckin' starboy

𓂃 ✷ ˒ 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙽𝙶 ! 𓄹╴ Isiah Seo Minhyun

✦ ~ GET TO KNOW; BASICS ~ ✦

ℐׅ ─ Birth Name: Isiah Seo Minhyun (서민현)

ℐׅ ─ English Name: Isiah Seo

ℐׅ ─ Japanese Name: Enrai Kenji (えんらいけんじ)

ℐׅ ─ The meaning of his names:

• Isiah: His real first name, inspired by the biblical name Isaiah meaning “Salvation of the Lord.” His parents chose this because they wanted him to grow up protected and to be a source of light and hope ironically, fans joke he’s their sweetest sin.

• Seo (서): His family name, traditional Korean noble surname.

• Minhyun (민현): Min (旼) means gentle/kind, Hyun (賢) means wise/virtuous. So together, “gentle and wise.”

• 遠雷 (Enrai): Distant thunder — poetic image of hidden strength.

• 賢二 (Kenji): Wise second son.

• Together: “Distant thunder, wise second son.” Given by his grandmother to honor his father’s Japanese heritage.

ℐׅ ─ Birthday: February 14, 1997

ℐׅ ─ Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

ℐׅ ─ Chinese Zodiac: Ox (丑)

ℐׅ ─ Height: 183 cm (6′0″)

ℐׅ ─ Weight: 68 kg (149 lbs)

ℐׅ ─ Blood Type: O

ℐׅ ─ Nationality: British-Korean-Japanese

ℐׅ ─ Birthplace: Chelsea, London, England, UK

ℐׅ ─ MBTI Type: INFJ-A (The Advocate)

ℐׅ ─ Representative Emoji: 🐈‍⬛

ℐׅ ─ Individual Fandom Name: STARDUST ( fans came up with the name)

ℐׅ ─ TITLES & REPUTATION:

• The Hidden Ace of BTS: Given by Bang Si-hyuk himself, referencing Isiah’s quiet but undeniable talent across vocals, visuals, rap, and production.

• The London Prince of K-pop: Because of his elite British upbringing, charm, and fluency — combined with traditional K-pop training. BBC, Vogue UK, and The Guardian all called him “The Most Global Idol of BTS.”

• Stage’s Favorite Son: Coined by Dispatch after his performance at SBS Gayo Daejeon 2020 went viral. His live charisma, eye contact, and fluid stage command were spotlighted as “textbook idol presence.”

• Korea’s Valentine: Due to his Valentine’s Day birthday and soft, romantic image. Often trends each Feb 14 with hashtags like #StarboyDay, #ValentinePrince.

• Fan Letter Composer: Famous for transforming ARMY fan letters into lyrics for BTS B-sides and solo works. He once said, “If you write it, I’ll sing it.”

• Triple Threat Idol: Media praises his ability to sing, rap, and dance with equal excellence. Also noted for songwriting, producing, and visual storytelling.

• BTS’s Visual Prince: Constantly topping visual rankings with his elegant and princely appearance; called the “gentle face of power.”

✦ ~GET TO KNOW; CAREER INFORMATION ~ ✦

ℐׅ ─ Stage Name: Isiah (이시아)

ℐׅ ─ JYP Entertainment: (2010–2011)

ℐׅ ─ BIGHIT Music: (2011–present)

ℐׅ ─ Training Period: 3 years (2010–2013)

ℐׅ ─ Group: BTS

ℐׅ ─ Position(s): Vocalist, Rapper, Visual, Lead Dancer, Songwriter, Producer

ℐׅ ─ Debut Age: 14 (International), 16 (Korean)

ℐׅ ─ Originally signed to JYP Entertainment in 2010 at just 13 years old, Isiah trained alongside several rising idols. Despite being praised for his vocals and dance ability, he felt creatively stifled in JYP’s system. During a trainee showcase, he met RM (Kim Namjoon), who was already under BigHit. Moved by RM’s songwriting and grounded confidence, Isiah secretly attended one of BTS’s pre-debut practices — and instantly knew BigHit was where he belonged.

“Namjoon-hyung made me believe I could create, not just perform,” — Isiah (in Billboard Japan 2023 interview).

Bang Si-hyuk (Bang PD) personally recruited him for BTS, calling him the group’s “secret weapon” and The Hidden Ace” by Korean media due to his trilingual skills, songwriting abilities, and global appeal. Quickly becoming Known for his elite visuals and intense artistic aura, he debuted at age 16 (Korean age), standing out immediately due to his smooth vocals, experimental songwriting, and trilingual fluency (Korean, English, Japanese).

ℐׅ ─ Notable Collabs: SZA, Megan Thee Stallion, Doechii, Ariana Grande

ℐׅ ─ Media Quotes About Isiah:

• “He’s the kind of idol that doesn’t try to shine — he just does.” – The Korea Herald

• “The fans call him their starboy, but he’s also BTS’s secret moonlight.” – Elle Japan

• “The elegance of V, the duality of Jimin, the fire of Jungkook, and yet… entirely himself.” – Rolling Stone Korea

• “Isiah is what happens when art and idol merge.” – Dazed & Confused UK

• “He doesn’t just walk into the room — the room changes because he’s in it.” – Marie Claire Korea

• “The K-pop Prince You Can’t Look Away From” — A Teen Vogue headline after Coachella guest stage.

ℐׅ ─ Producer Identity: ENRAI (遠雷)

ℐׅ ─ Alias: ENRAI

ℐׅ ─ Producer Tags: (used in different songs & moods)

• “Incoming… ENRAI.” (original signature)

• “Play it loud. ENRAI.” (used in hard-hitting, high-energy tracks)

• “Incoming… don’t flinch.”

• “You weren’t ready, were you? …ENRAI.”

• “This is an ENRAI frequency.” (glitch-style intro)

ℐׅ ─ These tags are either whispered, glitched, or layered with cinematic ambiance — used across his solo work, and songs that he produces for other artists.

✦ ~GET TO KNOW; PERSONAL INFORMATION ~ ✦

ℐׅ ─ Personality:

• “He feels like a whisper and a storm at the same time.” – RM

• MBTI Type: INFJ-A (The Advocate): Known as one of the rarest personality types, INFJ-A individuals are deep thinkers, emotionally intelligent, visionary, and quietly resilient. Isiah embodies all of this — a gentle presence with an iron core. While soft-spoken in public, Isiah Seo Minhyun is deeply introspective, loyal to a fault, and emotionally in tune with those around him. He observes more than he speaks, and when he does speak — it resonates.

ℐׅ ─ Isiah’s hobbies reflect his layered, artistic nature. From slow mornings with records to late nights spent composing under candlelight, his life is a quiet love letter to beauty and emotion.

• Writing music & lyrics

• Journaling and poetry under the alias Min Enrai

• Collecting vinyl records (favorites: Radiohead, Frank Ocean, Utada Hikaru)

• Painting with watercolors (he calls it “emotional breathing”)

• Candle-making – he says scents help him write

• Watching ballet or opera – thanks to his mother’s influence

• Film photography – he loves shooting abandoned places

• Traveling solo – especially to Kyoto, Florence, and Morocco

ℐׅ ─ Likes:

• Perfume (he mixes his own oils)

• Rainy days + lo-fi playlists

• Black tea with milk

• Long, vulnerable conversations

• Jewelry with stories — antique rings, symbolic chains

• Scented journals and handwritten letters

• Soft blankets, silk fabrics, oversized coats

• When fans send him poetry instead of gifts

• Warm hands. Always warm hands.

ℐׅ ─ DISLIKES:

• Loud, superficial conversations

• Being told to “tone it down”

• Fast fashion (he prefers timeless pieces)

• When people only see idols as products

• Soggy toast or food

• People who are unkind to staff

• sasaengs

• Strong perfumes — especially if artificial

• Being rushed when writing or creating

ℐׅ ─ STRENGTHS:

• Lyrical genius – he writes songs that feel like novels

• Stage presence – a master of gaze, stillness, and controlled intensity

• Multilingual fluent – English, Korean, Japanese, Italian, French, Spanish, German, Mandarin

Semi-fluent in Russian, Portuguese, Thai, Arabic

• Empathy – he senses emotions without needing to ask

• Versatile performer – can shift from angelic to dangerous in seconds

• Fashion intuition – knows what suits his energy, not just trends

• Resilience – he’s quiet about it, but has overcome self-doubt and pressure

ℐׅ ─ WEAKNESSES:

• Overthinks everything – can spend hours rewriting one lyric

• Too hard on himself – struggles to accept praise

• Avoids confrontation – would rather go silent than argue

• Sleepless creativity – often sacrifices rest to create

• Gets attached deeply – even to people who don’t deserve him

• Carries others’ pain – doesn’t always know how to let it go

ℐׅ ─ Family:

“My father taught me structure. My mother taught me softness. I am everything in between.” – Isiah

Though private and rarely seen publicly, Isiah’s parents are widely respected for their intellect, artistry, and quiet wealth. They raised him between cultures, cities, and philosophies — grounding him in discipline and surrounding him with beauty.

ℐׅ ─ FATHER: Seo Daehyun (서대현)

ℐׅ ─ Birthday: January 18, 1963

ℐׅ ─ Nationality: South Korean

ℐׅ ─ Occupation: Architect & Global Real Estate Investor

ℐׅ ─ Founder: SEHK Design

ℐׅ ─ Established in: Seoul, South Korea — originally under the name Seo Architectural Concepts, rebranded to SEHK Design in 1994 after global expansion.

ℐׅ ─ Founded: November 25, 1981

ℐׅ ─ Education: Seoul National University (Architecture), Master’s at Oxford University

ℐׅ ─ Primary Base: Mayfair, London, United Kingdom

ℐׅ ─ Secondary Residence: Seoul, South Korea

ℐׅ ─ About Him:

• Daehyun is one of the most discreet but powerful figures in global luxury architecture.

• Founder of SEHK Design, an elite firm designing for royal families, high art patrons, and legacy estates worldwide.

• Known for minimalist structures that emphasize emotional silence and cultural identity.

• He is a man of few words, high expectations, and timeless elegance.

• Initially skeptical of Isiah’s idol path, he later offered quiet support behind the scenes — including funding Isiah’s home studio and legal team.

• Holds majority shares in a discreet but powerful real estate firm in London.

• Values silence, punctuality, and excellence — he was initially strict and skeptical about Isiah’s idol path.

ℐׅ ─ MOTHER: Hana Enrai (花音遠雷)

ℐׅ ─ Birthday: November 5, 1969

ℐׅ ─ Age: 55 (as of 2025)

ℐׅ ─ Nationality: Japanese

ℐׅ ─ Ethnicity: Japanese (Kyoto-born)

ℐׅ ─ Languages: Japanese, English, Korean

ℐׅ ─ Occupation: Former Prima Ballerina, Art Curator & Gallery Director

ℐׅ ─ Education: Paris Opera Ballet School (Performance Studies) & Accademia di Belle Arti di Firenze (Art History & Restoration)

ℐׅ ─ Primary Base: Mayfair, London, United Kingdom

ℐׅ ─ Secondary Residence: Seoul, South Korea

ℐׅ ─ About her:

• Hana is celebrated for her decades-long ballet career, praised for her expressive control and artistic discipline.

• After retiring, she transitioned into fine art curation, directing exhibitions across Kyoto, Paris, Florence, and Seoul.

• She currently runs a private modern gallery in London specializing in feminine expression, movement, and grief.

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taekooktimeline · 1 month ago

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May 11, 2025 (released) -

A video releases of Tae at last year’s graduation ceremony at Nonsan Training Center, which was a joint ceremony of eight companies in two regiments. 800 trainees attended. According to articles and sources, out of 800 trainees that day, 4 people, one being Tae, received the Elite Trainees Award and 2 Best Squad Group Awards (23rd Regiment & 27th Regiment) were awarded (hence why there were 6 people on the podium). According to other comments, Namjoon also was awarded during this ceremony (but it goes without saying that, as a Taekook focused blog, I highlight and focus on Tae’s and Jk’s achievements).

At the time, articles reported Tae was one of the top 200 elite trainees, but it’s now been determined he was one of 4 elite trainees selected out of 800.

https://x.com/jadu_tae/status/1921221707949387896?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

https://x.com/taehgersph/status/1921242596975759404?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

https://x.com/romantic_tae/status/1749274587303432422?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

#taekooktimeline #taekook #2024 #2025 #military #military service #achievements #elite soldier

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werezmastarbucks · 26 days ago

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U N15

U N7 masterlist 10/14

word count: 6058

warnings: yoongi is a dilf

after Taeyang is born, Jimin and Namjoon get restless and start seriously thinking about their own kids. they don't want big age difference, they want the kids to grow up together. in all the noise of happy news, this is the notion you hear the loudest: they want their kids to grow up together.

once Yuri recovers enough, they take the boy and travel to Busan and stay with you for a little so that you see the product they have manufactured. it's a pretty cute boy with Jungkook's eyes and Yuri's hands. god, he is a copy of his father. hyperactive and adorable. even though you generally feel indifferent, even annoyed about kids, this little thing completely takes you over.

"it changes you, doesn't it?" Yuri asks. "babies are such an experience. you start seeing the whole world in a different light".

he's still very small. you are scared to take Taeyang in your arms because the baby body feels like an alien to you. what if you accidentally touch the wrong part and he dies. Jungkook is totally in love with his child. he's the kind of father who starts seeing his wife as a goddess after witnessing the agony of labour. this is the happiest you've seen him in all the years you've known him. he doesn't leave their side; all he talks about is Taeyang. Taeyang doesn't really do anything yet; just screams, sucks milk out of Yuri and sleeps. but Jungkook already starts imagining him in the future. how he's going to ride a bike and how he'll buy him very wide pants so that he looks like an LA gangster, and how he will be a star, like his daddy.

they push the stroller down the street and admire the garden with fruit trees, you take them to the beach and notice that the things are gradually switching to mellow for them. Jungkook doesn't wear a mask in public anymore and sometimes doesn't even wear a cap. people recognize and throw looks at him, but when he's with his family, he ignores everybody. the maximum that they get is a tight :] smile that reminds you too much of his hyung.

"Namjoon already visited, like, fifty times", Yuri complains, "he wants to see Taeyang all the time".

"i hear Jimin and him want to race who's going to have a daughter first", you note, "did you all get the baby fever?"

"Namjoon hyung is turning thirty-seven this year", Jungkook replies, "we had a forty plan. partners and kids".

"you had a plan?" you ask, hesitating.

"uh-huh. it wasn't like, a solid plan. we never knew how much time we'd have. we actually remembered about it when Tae was born".

the way he says Tae strikes you. you realize they have named their boy after Taehyung.

"it was back when we were trainees. we just met, what year was it?" he looks at Yuri like she is supposed to remember. "anyway, i was thirteen, ha-ha".

you chuckle. his massive arms hold the handle of the stroller. he wants to be in contact with Tae all the time.

"and we didn't really know what to speak about, you know, eight strangers. i felt super lonely. Namjoon took us to this coffeeshop and him and Yoongi hyung bought us all milkshakes. Jihun even was there, as well. and we started chatting. Yoongi was dating this girl", he looks at you quickly without any certain expression, "and was writing rap about her all the time. she wanted to have a kid with him even though he was eighteen and didn't even think about it".

"it's a thing about him, huh?"

"yeah. anyway, we were like, when does everybody want to marry?" Jungkook rocks the stroller a little when Tae produces a moan. Yuri is looking at the sea as her hand rocks it together with him.

"and we decided to have a forty plan. we thought by forty, surely we will all be famous and rich and there will be ample time to start families".

"it came together pretty accurately", you coo, sincerely impressed.

"exactly. we are the best", he smiles. you can't help but smile back. you're glad they are still having their turbulently-active lives out there. you may have left the track but they don't have to.

"are you thinking about coming back to Seoul?" Yuri asks.

"no, why?"

"it's been two years", she shrugs, "thought you'd want to see Tae grow, as well".

"i do want to. it's just four hours away", you say. it's true. you have a sincere desire to see them more often. but Busan is simply your city.

"one hour by plane", Jungkook helps. "you know, any time you want to visit, i'll buy a ticket for you".

you stand on your toes and kiss him on the cheek.

"thank you, tell everybody i am very grateful".

he looks surprised.

"for what?"

"not giving up on me".

they exchange glances behind your back.

bts take a break after releasing two albums in a row and going on a big world tour. they never ever mention separating for good; to them, it's a long holiday from each other. still run into each other at Hybe and never say hi or bye because they don't feel like they need to. you wonder what you would be doing right now in Seoul if you had stayed. then you don't want to think about it: probably would have stayed in the same rut. burnt yourself out with endless racing. they visit you once in a few months, even Hobi comes to take you to a show. the only one who has given up on you is Yoongi. the first few months after you left, he sent messages, then stopped, seeing that you don't reply. you thought of blocking him but didn't want to be that rude. simply pretended he doesn't exist as a human entity. the guys, when they come, barely speak about him, just mention he's fine. now that he's married you're sure he's at least taken care of, and that's all you want to know. you can't escape him completely, but one day you see promo posters in the street for his solo tour, and nothing in your body alarms you. you are actually quite happy to see his face, like he's an old friend. he's still looking good. age doesn't know him. his face is lean, only jaw gives out he's not thirty anymore. you try listening to his new music and all you get out of it is that it's very high quality. he has always been a good musician: sensitive, masterful, good-natured. all his songs are good-natured and kind, even the angry ones. now he is growing even more; produces quality music you can't listen to on the background. he's still speaking about human conditions and trauma, still threatens enemies with his dick, there's even a breath about his new love and the challenges that come with it; the arrangements and instruments sound more and more creative, more authentic. it's like he's turned into that genius everybody's been calling him for years. you are glad you've chosen someone like him to waste your life on. you don't want him. but you're glad he's out there. maybe he will have a daughter, too.

Sungmin, whose last name you don't remember, is a really, delightfully average person who is kind of nice. once he hears that you like working late hours after everybody's gone, because there's fewer people, he brings you matcha coffee by the evening and then leaves. he is the quiet type, without extra bravado, he simply courts you with patience. life keeps putting good men in your life, perhaps as an apology for the past bad luck. he reminds you of Jimin when he says, it's okay if you're not ready. i'll wait. you know waiting rarely works out with you; you say he will have to wait forever, and not to hope for anything. he buys the book you mention and brings it as a present, and you try to minimize your interactions. nothing about him pulls on any strings of your soul. out of an old habit carved into your bones, you notice the sideburns on his face, sharp like arrows. he also has small delicate teeth and a hole in his earlobe, but doesn't wear earrings. past you would ask about it, now you don't care. he gives you space but keeps flirting at work and you gradually get used to it. some Korean men just have a weird kink for foreigners. you have a dream once, in which Sungmin sends you flowers with a note:

"i can fuck you better than Min Yoongi".

there's no way he is the stalker, and even if he is by some miracle, he would've had to put a lot of effort by being born in a different city and erasing all his history working for Hybe. for starters.

it's been two and a half years that you live in Busan, and it's going great. you buy yourself a lot of new clothes and enjoy the quiet life by the sea. fulfilling life with academic results, receiving pictures of Taeyang almost every day. there's no way to tell them how much you appreciate that they are slowly pulling you closer to them again, by including you more and more. Taehyung uses your private chat as a dumpster for his new releases and achievements. once a month you get a message:

"stream new song"

and the link attached to it. sometimes he dumps pictures when they all get together and take selfies. no context, no answer if they take the pictures specifically for you, or he just decides to share. you ask him if Yuri and Jungkook named their son after him. he says yes. he is now the big Tae, and the boy is little Tae.

he is a little sore still.

"you could come back now, you've made your point".

he is under the impression that you are holding some kind of grudge.

Jimin sends you updates, too. they are more personal and chatty, of course.

he is the one who lets you know Yoongi got divorced. they lasted about six months after the wedding and then broke up. what was the rush about, what was the reason? you might never know. Jimin is uncharacteristically untalkative about it and you don't press. you never even bothered to ask what her name was, and she is gone now, too. maybe he never managed to get over Riko after all. slow, gradual, deeply planning Yoongi was weird for marrying so spontaneously.

you get a weird hunch, seeing his face more and more in the streets. he's giving two nights in Busan in August. Hoba has been here in June, and you had a big party. dragged Namjoon and the big Tae with him. you consider, trying to distance yourself, whether you could theoretically, potentially, maybe want to go see his new show. not really. you do hold a small grudge, you realize with surprise. the kind that anybody would get after loving someone unreciprocated. it's quite normal. but most of all, you just don't feel interested. you have a shit ton of books to finish by the end of summer before you can switch to autumn gothic reading. plus, there are so many little pears in your two pear trees behind the living room window that you brace yourself and buy new jars and a bowl to make a lot of confiture. you've been sending it to Seoul with Jimin's parents for the last two years. heard Jin cried with how good it was. you feel like a grandma and rightly so. you spend lots of time in your armchair in the living room. you grunt when you get up. you work in the garden. you complain about the noisy youth. the big Tae scolds you, tells you you're living the coward's life. he just doesn't get off your back, ever. he has no idea of the bliss of getting up in the morning to the golden and coral sunrays piercing your kitchen. you can't get enough of Busan.

the closer the August, the stronger your hunch. you have no idea why. maybe it's the insidious silence from Seoul or the constant presence of his dark familiar eyes everywhere in the city. he has been granted some Presidential medal this year, they say, and bought himself a house in LA. maybe he will finally fuck off to his favourite America and live there and stop bothering people.

your leg is bouncing off the side of the armchair. it's very hot sitting in the sun but you're too mellow to move, leaving your thigh burning. sometimes you just sit so comfortably that even the tsunami can't move you. you're seventy pages deep on the first sitting and finally your eyelids become heavy. if you fall asleep here, might even get a sunstroke, so from time to time you shake yourself awake.

the phone interrupts your reading. you blink, yawn, put your hand below you to fish for it. it's a new number you don't have. people rarely call; Yuri likes texting and the only one who prefers phone conversations is Namjoon. you answer it, eyes still on the page, and hear the voice that rumbles low and politely.

"hello".

"hi".

"it's Min Yoongi".

you fucking know. your teeth, in the middle of pulling the cheek, stop.

"huh? from bts?"

"yeah. busy?"

"a little", you reply.

"sorry. i am having a show in Busan tonight".

his "P"s still sound like little kisses.

"yeah, i know".

hearing his voice would be weirder if you hadn't listened to his album already.

"do you want to come see it?"

you hear Yoongi is shuffling with something, like he's dressing. there's static hiss in the phone.

"no, but thank you".

you don't know how to explain that you simply detached yourself from his working persona so much that you probably won't even recognize Suga on stage. you hear he's still crying during the performances. they still look like Renaissance incarnations. that he is still good with the guitar and likes to speak with the audience.

"i can paraphrase", he says, with a breathy chuckle. there's a new tone to his voice that wasn't there the last time you spoke. it's... demanding? it's harder than the usual Yoongi voice. he also sounds busy, actually.

"i would like to see you. can we meet after the show?"

"why?" you blurt out, for lack of better words.

"catching up. you've been ignoring me for two years. we used to be friends".

this suddenly hurts.

"well, alright. sure".

"i'll be off by midnight. Jungkook gave me your address. i know there's a nice bar about ten minutes from your apartment, Wednesdays?"

"yeah, it's really close".

"can you be there at half past midnight? should i pick you up?"

"no, i'll walk, it's fine. i have a great district".

he hums in agreement. shuffles with something again.

"okay, then i'll see you there".

he never says goodbye.

it's cold, they way he speaks now. you wonder what the hell happened with this girl he divorced. what happened with him, in general. no, if he was doing badly, the boys would tell you. right? they don't tend to completely avoid talking about him. just "Yoongi is fine" sounds pretty often. you pull on your earlobe with curiosity. you're curious more than anything. now you need to take a nap because half past midnight is still far away.

Yoongi feels like a person from previous life. it's only been two and a half years and yet, they feel longer. like the person you used to be in Seoul is completely gone. she acted differently and felt differently, and even thinking about her is exhausting. bouncing off the walls. no, that is over. after hearing him you realize the Yoongi you've been avoiding in your mind is gone, too. it's just another projection of yours. you have no idea who the real Yoongi is now. so you get dressed and leave your house to walk over to Wednesdays. the street is still panting with heat, and the sky is absolutely clear, with bright silver stars. people are out, it's Friday night. the bar is crowded but Yoongi is sitting at the counter to be visible from the entrance. you stop just for a second to check your own wellbeing. head, clear. stomach, quiet. hands, steady. he is wearing a black loose shirt and some kind of bomber on top, and is hunched over either his phone or a glass. he has gotten much bigger, but is still not too muscular. looks like he decided to stay in his healthy weight. there's always been a kind of rivalry between Taehyung, Namjoon and Jungkook, them being the biggest three. Yoongi always looked like either their younger sibling or their senile grandpa. now you're not sure. his broad shoulders are relaxed. hair shorter, he looks to the side and you see his button nose. he is still your type. the guy who made everybody else look like straw dummies. you walk over, feeling satisfied at your observation, and tap on his shoulder.

he smiles, as his eyes clutch your face.

"hey".

he sweeps a glass from the bar and stands up, nodding to the left.

"there's an empty table in the corner. you still like fruity?"

he has ordered a cocktail for you. you take it with a late bow, completely forgotten you're supposed to do that with him, too. people shoot glances at him as he stands straight, and you hurry away from the light spot.

it's incredibly awkward to you. you have no idea what to say, but then try to relax. he is still one of your bunch after all. you sit down at the dark table closer to the back, and he occupies the chair facing the window. you get the couch. he is sipping beer with an easy expression, doesn't stare you down or smirk. you both take your time to study the faces though: has anything changed? he still has healthy puffy cheeks that give him the pouty look. you struggle to see what changed in two years. maybe more lines near the eyes: smiles a lot. you have no idea what you look like to him.

"how was the show?"

"nice", he demonstrates his rusty voice, "good audience. Tae's parents came".

"big or little?"

he grins.

"big one".

"how's the boy?"

"you like him too? he's growing really fast. Kookie says he is going to be a pop star with five octaves".

"whatever happened with Jungkook wanting to be the only idol like this in a thousand years?"

he shrugs, emotes effortlessly, looks quite happy, actually. it's only his voice that sounds more jaded. he stretches his sounds more, speaks more capriciously.

"everything has changed".

"is Nari pregnant yet?"

"no, not yet".

he sips his beer and the hair falls on his face in locks, he pushes it away. always struggling with long side bangs and yet keeps them.

"i heard you got divorced".

he nods.

"didn't work out. we fell out really quickly".

"sorry".

"uh-huh. what are you doing? you work at the university, right?"

he keeps looking at you and takes off his bomber. he feels quite comfortable, actually, and it makes things easier. you find yourself relaxing a little. you tell him about the work, some of the colleagues that you communicate with. tell him how life has changed here. what your days turned into, describe the comfort to him, and he seems pleased. he's walking around the topic of your departure like it's invisible to him, doesn't mention the messages you never replied to. always protects the politeness in the room. you ask him about the new album, about the American house. you shoot these bits of information at each other, comparing how differently you live now. he still produces other people, still writes songs. you recall never listening to the song he made with Nayoung, the ex-wife. he's kind of the same, really. goes to gym, although not at ten in the evening. he doesn't study English anymore, decided that he has mastered it enough. you scold him by saying that you can never know enough language, and he makes that expression, full of pain, crunching his nose. something changed in his eyes, you notice. the smile only reaches them every other time.

"oh", you remember, "you heard anything about my stalker?"

he raises his eyebrows.

"i wanted to ask you the same. did you take him to Busan with you?"

he's on his second beer, you're nursing your first cocktail simply because the conversation is non-stopping.

"no, never saw any signs of him. i wonder if we collectively invented him, like an enthusiastic nightmare".

he chuckles.

"same. so strange. i hope he died".

"that reminds me. Jungkook came over and he doesn't wear a mask in public anymore".

"yeah, me neither", he nods, "it's unusual but i'm a bit tired of it. it's getting a tad calmer, plus, we're on a break".

"are you planning to get back eventually?"

his eyebrows shoot up a little.

"of course. we just got on each others' nerves during the tour. the first solo break was so good for us, we decided it's okay to have another one".

you know he's right.

"i saw you in Halsey's insta recently", you nod at him.

"yeah?"

"the only thing i ever asked you was to get me her signature".

he bursts in a chuckle, remembering the word he never kept. it rose up a couple of times between you, years ago. you've always been a fan. he kept forgetting, didn't see her too often.

"i'm sorry. do you still want it? i can make her video call you, overdue fine".

you brush it off.

"no, it's okay. you're thinking of moving to America?"

"not really. but i go there often for work".

you nod. he raises his arms, muscles of his shoulders bulging from the wide sleeves of his tee. always liked wearing these huge rapper shirts that make him look like a ghost. Yoongi rakes his hair with the hand and the obsidian of his eye becomes colder again.

"the reason i wanted to meet is to hook up".

his fingers clink on the beer glass twice, contemplative.

it takes you by surprise, the change slicing the colour off from the conversation. it's so sudden that it hits you in the face.

the glass at your lips, you freeze and then wonder if there's another meaning to that phrasal verb he's just used. he's chewing on his beer lightly, his eyes expressionless. he's too good at making impenetrable face, the years of training made him unreadable when he wants to be.

"hook up?"

"yeah. now that feelings aren't involved, i feel like it's a thing i can do".

it sounds almost as if he is bringing himself as a reward.

you're struggling with the logic of it.

"did i doze off or something? i feel like i missed a part of conversation", you reply, slightly irritated. his face is lit with a chuckle that only stays below his nose. that's the thing that sounded so clearly over the phone. he always used to treat you with kind respect, like a delicate being. he doesn't think you're delicate anymore. his stare is open and direct. he's actually closer to you now than before, with this sharp honesty.

"i mean i always found you intriguing at the very least. you're single, right?"

you never ever think of yourself as single. you're not taken, either. unavailable. defective. the cause of defect sitting across the table with a cut on his forearm. clumsy.

"don't you ever wonder what it would have been like?" he asks. suddenly there's an evil edge to Yoongi. he really wants to hear the answer, his tongue wandering in his mouth, poking at the roof.

"yeah, of course", you admit. the love that never happened is a solid fact between you. it's humiliating how he doesn't ask. it's old news. he assumes you know that he knows. he still respects your intelligence and doesn't elaborate.

you did wonder, obviously. at the very least sometimes you still get dreams about him. even though their vines don't reach as deep into your soul, they can destabilize you for a whole day. and now he wants to... fuck?

fair enough, actually.

you left at a point when he was clearly trying to get closer to you. the change happened vividly before Jimin's wedding. the amount of touching increased by a 1000%. it's just that you couldn't nourish his growing feelings at the expense of your old rotting wound.

"i think we can show each other good time", he admits, casually, like he's not speaking about getting his dick inside of you. this side of Yoongi is completely mysterious to you. you have no idea if he's always been like this, or became this person recently.

"what the hell happened in your marriage, dude?"

he doesn't smile but sniffs instead.

"it was a rash mistake. nothing criminal. i broke her heart".

it sounds like he knows there's parallel. he can't not know what it means.

"why didn't you stop me? when i was leaving", you ask, out of pure interest.

"what for? would you have changed your mind?"

"no".

he shrugs.

"i had already wasted six years of your life", he says simply. "don't think it was my place to force you".

you hum, letting your mouth wrap around the straw. he is constantly so on point, it's irritating. like the shadow co-author of the book you've been writing. he knows way too much now. did Jimin give him all the embarrassing details?

"i forgot to order food", Yoongi realizes, and his face gets a bit warmer, again. you've been here more than an hour, and you completely let it slip your mind, too.

"are you hungry?"

"no, i am okay".

you're still studying him. hair still bearing the waves of styling from the show. it's brownish in the bar light. looks healthy and soft. you're considering the body under those two pieces of clothing. loose tee and jeans. he always dresses simple and baggy, and mysteriously it always gives him an androgenous charm. it must be the doll face with Daegu baby skin.

you think of the Japanese spa guy from so long ago. sex with him was borderline traumatic, tasted like nothing at all. you had to imitate orgasm out of courtesy just to get him to stop. ever since then nobody was in between your legs except for a doctor checking you occasionally. oh, and a couple of dogs. dogs really like to sniff girls on periods. you have nothing to tell him, you are in your natural thinking mode, and he is pondering something, as well.

"so that's a no?"

now you're not sure. you hum, and he's a little amused. you're certain he smells great.

"can collect us like Pokémon".

his hand grabs the beer glass and he turns around in search of a waitress.

"what are you on about?"

"well, Jimin was in love with you for years, Jungkook had a half-crush on you..."

"don't be ridiculous", you puff, finally snapping out of paralysis. Yoongi shudders with a silent chuckle. it doesn't reach his eyes again. like the light is off.

"didn't you meet him first?"

"yeah, i did, it was for like, half an hour".

he nods like you've just confirmed something.

"even a year after their wedding, if you called, he'd run to you", he hammers with emotioneless finality of an authority figure. it's a matter of fact to him. you choose not to linger on this nonsense. but, is he saying that he is crushing now? or is it just a generalization?

"no strings attached?" you ask. he gets another beer but doesn't let the waitress go before you choose a drink for yourself.

"no strings. don't have time for it".

sounds good. the amount of times empty arousal tore through your uterus is laughable. it's definitely a case of wondering, he is absolutely right.

leaving the Wednesdays into a slightly cooler night, and you point to your building. you tell him about the apartment and he listens intently.

"it's so spacious. and there's only one neighbour".

"like semi-detached?"

"yes, actually, like that. i have two pear trees in the yard that's fenced up".

"oh, cool", he coos sincerely, "my trees have grown out of control back home. i thought it would be awesome to have fruits. but now i have woods in there".

you grin. imagine him getting lost in between plums and apples.

"are you familiar with the neighbour?"

"it's an old lady. she's nice, we say hi and i sometimes supply her with the confiture".

"i tried it. it's really good".

you shrug.

"i hate eating pears".

"wasn't that the whole point?" he laughs.

"growing them is better, i just let them live".

"you got a pet?"

"i still want a cat but never seem to get to it".

you walk to the apartment relatively quickly; it's almost directly across the road. you lead him to the door and take out the keys, but then think of showing him the garden. a short walk around, and you switch on the fairy lights above his head. his skin looks parchment-yellow in their light, and the eyes, absolutely black. but Yoongi gets childishly excited about them, looking up. the old him peaks through, mouth open, small teeth, gum smile.

"leaves", he examines one of the closest lights, shaped to resemble nature. "leaves in the leaves".

"yeah".

he looks at the young pears, still babies, not good for eating yet.

you leave the lights on and let him into the house. go to the bathroom to wash your hands, abandoning him behind. he strolls after you like a ghost, three steps away, snaking in the dark. you go to the kitchen and he follows you, you offer him pink bubbly lemonade and he refuses. while he is looking around the kitchen, you leave again, because you simply don't fucking know what to do now. you never seem to figure out what to do in his presence. the old block that you have from showing your true emotions to Yoongi is rooted so deeply you don't know how to switch it off.

you go into the bedroom, passing through the living room and the closet, and shout:

"i'll go take a shower!"

he is much closer than you think. he has the advantage of darkness in the house and simply appears in the door frame.

"no, don't".

you wrinkle your face, trying to dismiss him.

"you had a shower after the show, right?"

"yeah".

he is behaving like he's in a museum, trying to take in details of your home, while speaking.

"i want to get mine, too".

he catches you by the forearm, grounding you in place. you can see his eyes, unimpressed but focused.

"stop walking away".

this is what you do though. all the time you know him, you always try to vacate the space he's in. run around and assume the safe position behind his back to study the other side of his head. you don't like the possessiveness with which he's holding you. slap him lightly on the palm, but he doesn't let go at first.

"you said no feelings".

"i have no feelings for you", he echoes. you push him with both hands, and his palm opens. he takes a step back, out of courtesy for your effort.

"never had".

in the darkness, it's easier to clench your teeth. you feel your brows draw together painfully.

"still got a punch in you?" he asks. "punch me".

it's a generous offer of a bigger man. no, you were wrong. he's still treating you like Yoongi the caregiver. it's probably also a role he can't even step out of, having been one for so long.

your hands crash into his chest again, but palms open, pushing him further away.

"why would i hit you? never did anything wrong".

he is silent, he just takes it. he is by the wall.

you let the hot air through your nostrils, the grudge is coming out like a splinter. his eyes slip down your body, then up. you realize there's no certain pattern you should be following, and nothing really to say. you don't have to hide what you want anymore; you don't care, and he doesn't, either. you step to him, and his hands welcome you, palming your elbows and then sliding up to the shoulders. the familiar sensation of his palm on your back, but now it's softer, fingers curling into your skin. there's no point dancing around the moment your mouth crushes into his. it's not an event anymore, it's simply feeling horny. his heart-shaped lips open up and his tongue finally slithers into your mouth, after circling his the whole night. he's kissing you slowly and deliberately, with no hurry. the technique is evident, against you, who is used to being led. even though you always think of yourself as unattractive, you are still used to receiving the kisses. your hand slides up his neck and gets into his hair. the stomach muscles contract, but it's not painful, it's physical. you taste bitter-grapefruit beer on his mouth. and you're a little disappointed because the person you used to be is truly dead. you recognize the steely dark expression in his eyes, because you have the same in yours. the expression of lack of love. Yoongi pushes you to the bed, his hands working methodically. you trace his forearms, touch the ribs and his hips like you always wanted. the leftover longing sparks the libido that's been sleeping for two and a half years. you indulge yourself. Yoongi knocks down the body of your love and fucks it to oblivion. as he pounds into you, you think, 50% sucess rate is still a success. his body is so great, it's lean like he's a huge cat, flexible. he controls it so well. Yoongi is a perfect blend of beautiful and brutal. he is the right size, the right scent, citrus and beer. flesh and indifference. he kisses you right, but it's probably that he has the lips you've been craving to kiss forever. you're supposed to be satisfied, and you are; the low whisper in your ear makes you lift your knees even higher, and he catches this moment to swing his hips and get deeper into you.

"i am older than you", he reminds you. "what are you supposed to call me?"

you can hear the rattle in his voice, the little tear that the show gave him, probably from shouting swear words from the stage. it rustles against the skin on your ribs, and you curl. he fucks good. how can girls leave him, he is nearly pefect, and if he were completely perfect, he'd be worse.

"Yoongi oppa", you breathe out.

"louder".

over the years you noted that he likes it when people scream his name. maybe a praise kink; he is always the one who is on top giving pleasure, who is at the door, providing the services. wanting to be praised is not criminal.

you give him what he wants; his name leaves your mouth with a sobbing whimper as his hand brushes over the chin and then wraps around your throat. Yoongi lifts himself up and starts thrusting faster, bringing you to the edge of what you can take without losing your cool. he is far too big for you, and always has been; the proportions are attractive but they mean he can destroy you, with all the might that he has in his joints. unable to speak, you slap him hard to signal. he slows down and brings his face close to yours, the grip on your neck weakens immediately. he doesn't say anything but adjusts, and this responsiveness actually makes you come in seconds. you keep him close with your legs, knees pressing into his sides, as you pulsate around him. this is so safe, he is the safest person you've ever known, even after not seeing each other for so long. the right person. the wrong time. Yoongi hears you when you say you're off pills, and comes onto your tummy, and you stare at him because you've never seen him like that before. eyes shut, his arms tense, one hand in his hair as he holds himself above you. everything is pleasant about him. the way his face twists, the pitch of his moan and how he catches his breath sharply; his panting matching yours. you observe him as if from a distance, just like you are used to. it's a debilitating habit, you can't shake it off. even though his body is pressed against yours, you still feel like he's far away on another plane of life. even though his pulse in beating into your palm on his neck, you still don't feel he belongs to you, and you don't want this weight. he came here to have sex with you because there's absolutely no way you will end up together. you don't think about it anymore as your brain has been flooded a while ago with contradicting assumptions and theories. your brain is the dead internet. you just let your body rest while he's here, hips pushing his hips, fingers in his hair, tracing his ear and caressing the small scar. you're kissing his open mouth and he kisses back, your thunderous breaths colliding.

when you're finally allowed to have a shower, you walk over there on shaking legs; in thirty minutes' time he is gone, and you collapse on bed and fall alseep immediately. he has one more show in Busan, and you look forward to the next evening.

taglist: @ktownshizzle , @benyhime , @ryryvna , @amarawayne , @mar-lo-pap , @lili-spots

#yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi angst

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