#tragic: younger sibling wears your clothes better than you do

[goldensunset]

i had a vision and i had to see it come to life

[lorkai]

🌺 Title: One More Life

🌺 Summary: There is no future without learning the mistakes of the past, but there is also no past without the hope of a better future. And to repair mistakes or to make things better, a child is dragged into a tragic history of coups d'état, deaths and re-concessions.

🌺 Words: 4096

🌺 Notes: Some may remember that I already posted this story here, but I decided to rewrite this chapter. Hope you like it.

🌺 Warnings: Mention of dismemberment, explicit death, gore. Please check the tags for more.

The closed clouds formed strange patterns over the faint sunlight that ended on the horizon, red and orange slowly disappearing, leaving behind a thin trail of snow. And despite the hours, the children ran over the lights of the lanterns that they carried in their small hands, without knowing what was close to happening. Their laughter would be remembered in young Morgana's mind for a long time. Everyone was happy, after all it was the Harvest Festival - affectionately nicknamed the Demon Race by the girl - it was the day when her Lord liked to send his little soldiers to face demons that he summoned to see how much they had evolved with their magic and spells, that always happened at the end of the night.

Morgana did not grow up in a good or happy place, but she had no choice but to follow what her Lord commanded. The organization he worked for was also not a good place if she remembered correctly, there were so many experiments going on, so much pain and cries of help echoing through those walls that would never come out of the young girl's head or anyone who heard them. It was terrifying.

And in the dark of the old empty hut, she sat. Chained at the ankles by a metal pillar. The dark did not frighten her any more than the task entrusted to her, hunting demons, killing them and bringing their hearts to her Lord. Morgana hated that time of year, hated the snow pulling her down and the cold so intense to freeze her bones, and on top of that she hated the magic that came out of her hands and the blood that spread through her fingers afterwards. She hated the throbbing of the organ in her hands and even more that sadistic smile on the face of the man who had taught her so much about magic. But she had no choice, not yet.

"Your folly is amazing, my dear." Said a well-known voice, making Morgana turn around. It took her eyes to get used to seeing something in the immense darkness that surrounded her, but when she finally found him she started to massage her temples in search of momentary relief. It was Toby, a small, transparent ghost who wore bloody rags of clothes that looked from the 1800s. He was, unfortunately, the girl's dead brother, now a ghost bound to accompany her.

"What would you have done?" She replied, showing her hands chained by heavy metal. She didn't want to have to deal with the ghost now.

"I sure as hell wouldn't be pretending to be a good girl, waiting for someone to give me an order. Morg, you must take the chance to escape. They plan to summon a strong demon this time... What was the name again? Diavovo? Dialovo?" Toby yelled, crossing his arms. He floated to the other end of the cell, tossing a thick, old black leather book from hand to hand. And contrary to his angry tone, the ghost seemed calm, stopping beside his sister to hand her the book. "Whatever! You know the Demon Race is the closest thing you have to an opportunity to escape."

"Patience, my dear. I can't rush the sand into the hourglass any more than it can." She said, mysterious. Her fingers traced the pattern of unfamiliar letters and she smiled, feeling the strong magic so familiar that emanated from that Grimoire. The book that belonged to each of her brothers was hers now and she asked that it be useful in her journey. "Can't run away now, brother. This isn't the time. Also, you know what B would say."

"I don't care what that traitor has to say to me! He wasn't there when you or our brothers begged for help, he isn't here now to save you." the ghost grunted grudgingly and crossed his arms over his chest, seeming to adopt a defensive posture. "I insist you use this to escape, there's a very useful spell here. Take a look."

Morgana looked. It was the old book that passed from sibling to sibling in her family, but she never read it and didn't even know her secrets. Its pages were old and fragile, yellowed, she analyzed the strange letters forming strange words – it was an unknown language that was written there, but little by little the words moved and began to form sentences that the girl knew and understood. Spells appeared over the pages and she let out a big sigh this time, one of relief. Toby moved closer to her. "There are some spells you won't understand, Lothos made sure the younger ones wouldn't understand. So I can translate what you don't understand." The ghostly fingers roamed the pages with great nostalgia as he read her the simplest spells, almost overjoyed that she couldn't read in the dark.

And she was looking at him even through the dim light from a lantern, but it pained her to nurture his hopes when she herself knew she might die at any moment. She wasn't going to run away from Cosmos, no, she was going to destroy them inside and save those who could be saved. The emotion she felt at the moment couldn't be explained, she was happy to have him around and hear his voice, but she didn't feel his touch, his heat. Anyway, that moment was almost enough to make her forget what was going to happen within the next few minutes. There was a noise that disconcerted her and made her close the book with a bang, she quickly stuffed it into the pocket of the dress she was wearing. And she waited.

She looked at the figure standing over the wooden door, the light shining over his head as he chuckled softly. Then she noticed that he was shaking the human head of a child much younger than she was, and his red eyes glowed with excitement, watching the blood trickle across the floor of the cell. "He deserved it, he was making so much noise when I whipped him. But I like to think of it as his good luck gift." He threw his head towards the girl, falling to her feet. The child's transparent eyes stared at her, hot blood running in abundance over her legs and onto the floor. A horrendous image. She tried to move away but the chains stopped her.

"Too bad. His voice was so beautiful when he screamed." He commented and removed a cork of keys from his pocket, walking very calmly towards his expressionless pupil. He seemed to root for her to cry, for her to scream so he could punish her, but that didn't happen. He released her from the chains slowly as the blood on his hands smeared her and made her shiver even more, he pulled back far enough so that she could get up and seemed to find the sounds of bones cracking amusing. "Project K is almost perfected, so no failures will be tolerated. Stay still."

Morgana pressed one hand against the other, bracing herself. He handed her a red pill and watched as she swallowed without question. The burning sensation that engulfed her body was almost unbearable, causing her to fall to her knees and bring her hand to her throat. And anger filled her as her lord laughed to the point of being in tears. The pill he handed her must have been an improved version of the drug they were creating, she felt like she was being ripped from the inside out and blood leaked from her mouth as her vision glowed. Everything about her body ached, Toby and His lord went out and into focus. His voices mingled in her head as she vomited more blood.

"There, there." Her lord pulled her to her feet, using a spell to stop the bleeding. He patted her head lovingly as he smiled and she leaned closer to the contact, albeit involuntarily. His gestures didn't match what he was saying at all, but it took her a few more moments to process that. "It's going to be alright honey so don't let us down. I know you can do it, now go." He gently guided her out of the hut and closed the door slowly. A barrier was erected as soon as the girl was thrown out, to protect him. And she heard him laugh. Maybe he imagined all the bodies he would have on his worktable in the morning. Perhaps he had imagined a morbid joke. She didn't want to know.

"Are you okay?" Toby questioned. "Do you feel pain anywhere?"

"I am fine, brother." She analyzed the landscape around them. Shady trees, whose roots were hidden by snow, rose so high that their leaves and branches almost completely obscured the dim moonlight. This was a perfect place for demons to come to hide waiting for a meal, a subtle black trail of sulfur could be discerned through the tree branches. The smell also did not hide that there were demons there. She looked up at her brother, stifling a moan of pain as she smiled so as not to worry him. "Where are we going?"

"Demons everywhere. Three of them are northwest, seventy meters and they're strong. But there are two weaker ones you can kill easily, ten meters away. This way." Toby pointed, starting to follow a narrow path between some crooked trees, destroyed by the force of some demon. He heard Morgana walking behind him and her teeth gnashed so hard that he felt sorry for her, he couldn't feel the cold or heat anymore due to his condition, but he remembered now that she wasn't so lucky. The fine clothes she wore couldn't protect her from the incessant cold, that was a punishment and even she knew it. She had failed in her last mission, so it made sense to let her suffer her own luck. He knew she wouldn't survive like this and they had little time for it. Unfortunately she couldn't use any fire-based spells either because the scent would alert the demons.

Toby stopped his sister with a wave of his hand, gesturing to the pockets of her dress. "I almost forgot, but there's a spell in the Grimoire you can use to keep yourself warm. Let me show you."

"You know the cold can't kill me, even if it hurts" She warned him, giving a half laugh that was followed by several sneezes. Toby frowned as if he didn't quite believe his sister, signaling to himself as if he was setting an example. "Right, but that won't happen, brother."

"Enough stubbornness and give me the Grimoire. We have to be quick." Morgana let out a huff of indignation as she pulled the book out of her pockets and opened it, after glancing from side to side to make sure no one else was there. She created a sphere of light and illuminated the pages while a short wave of wind caused by the ghost opened the right page. He whispered the spell to her once, twice. Then she chanted it aloud and felt something warm run through her body, strengthening her. "Back to the subject... Use the Grimoire." He muttered looking directly at the book in her hands, with puppy eyes.

Morgana was preparing to give him an answer not as kind and patient as the others, but she was silent. She hid behind a tree when she heard a thin scream very close by. It had started. Really started. Limb by limb and the sound of flesh being ripped off was heard through the forest loud and clear, she covered her mouth with her hand so that no sound escaped her and signaled for the ghost to see what was happening.

"Looks like we found them, yay." Toby muttered grudgingly, his fingers making hollow sounds against the trees he touched. The feeling of running or fighting was never higher than when he approached some supernatural being, not that the ghost had seen more than other ghosts and lost souls, but he knew a thing or two. Finally he went to his sister, almost exasperated. "If you insist on following your role, the audience awaits your show, little star. They say they want to see his heart."

"If you insist." The girl whispered something in a low tone with her hands clasped together as if to pray and from the center of her hands flaming chains ripped the skin until they huddled together, moving of their own accord. Morgana was smiling. And she moved faster than Toby's eyes could see, like furious lightning. Toby ran to accompany her, without worry. He had seen a lot of that happen over the years. And it came as no surprise to him when he saw Morgana manipulating the chains and lifting the demon's body by one, two, three, four meters from the ground, hearing him scream when his arms and legs were broken, twisted at odd angles. Bones exposed on his skin. Black blood trickled over the snow as he screamed profanities.

"I really didn't want to do this." A deep, husky voice came from the girl's lips as she laughed, enjoying the smell of burning flesh. The chains slowly burned the entire demon's body, to the point that she would have ripped his heart out of his chest before he died. "But the grains of sand can only fall into the hourglass when it is time for them to fall."

"You are the disgusting witch that everyone talks about!" The demon screamed, blood dripping from his mouth. He struggled against the chains, but the more he struggled and screamed, the more the chains tightened.

"The only one but I think you don't like me that much, too bad." Morgana made a single movement that threw the demon on the ground and she approached him, pulling a red blade from her pocket that she would use to kill him. The demon tried to fight the chains, struggling, forcing its wings to work to get him out of there. But the girl kicked him in the face and commanded the chains to hold him more tightly. Toby flinched when he heard the sound of more bones being broken. "You had to be a low level one, it smells like sulfur. Shame on you, someone of your level would never be able to kill me." And then she sank the blade into the demon's chest. More blood flowed as she stabbed again and again, feeling it tremble beneath her small body, laughing when she saw life abandon the weak entity.

Toby yelled after her that he was dead, but she only stopped stabbing him when he was reduced to an unrecognizable mass of flesh. The white dress she wore was black, filled with demonic blood. She looked down at her hands with something akin to curiosity, then she looked down at the body and for a moment she couldn't make out anything that had happened there. "Fuck, this shit is scary every time. Morg, you...?"

"I'm fine, silly." She returned the chains back into her hands as she grunted in pain, the next moment her palms were intact as if they had never been injured. She got up quickly, muttering aggressively that she would have to find another demon now that she couldn't take the one she'd just killed, so she stepped away from the dead body and looked around. The sun wasn't even close to rising yet and she had plenty of time, but she also knew that failing couldn't be an option. Not this time. She has seen what happened to those who failed and it was something much worse than what happened to that demon at her feet. There were so many limbs and guts out of a body while her lord was using poisons and having fun, she didn't even need an anatomy book to tell the difference between a lung and a tibia. She wouldn't be next - between failing here and being next, she could freeze to death.

"You went into a trance again." Toby sighed, if he was alive he would probably be shaking. "Are you wondering about your next target?" Morgana nodded.

"Far away. About forty meters. But they are powerful." Toby tried to concentrate to find out something else, but he didn't have much to feel. They were powerful entities without a doubt, if they were strong to face the girl or not he did not know and did not want to know, he wanted her to run away. But there was only a little he could force her to do. The ghost watched as she seemed to consider whether she was going after them or not, but stopped walking before she could state her thoughts. There was a dismembered body in front of them. The head was tied to a tree as if it were a sinister pinata, a wide smile from cheek to cheek still frozen on the face. Blood dripping still. It was recent. She gasped and tried to walk away, but she felt something hot and hard on her feet that made her stop. Something that the faint light of the moon illuminated very well, she stepped on top of the corpse's guts.

"All this for what, I wonder sometimes. So many dead children, so many tormented spirits. If the fate had been different they could have been happy away from this misery." Toby whispered so quietly that even a breeze made more noise. He tried to pull her away, despite being cruelly reminded that he couldn't touch her. He was just a lost voice over others inside his own sister's head, so he did what he could. He caught her eye and pointed to a safe place.

"Because they are all too cowardly to fight for what they want, so they train us and use us," Morgana shivered with rage when tears came to her eyes, her fist closed on the blade that was just used in the poor devil's murder. "We are weapons in a war that we do not even know when it will happen. But it will be all right because I will destroy Cosmos and free all who still live, even if I die trying, I will drag those motherfuckers to hell with me!"

"Oh, now you're talking like yourself, good little girl." She felt the speck of happiness in the ghost's voice, even with all the sarcasm he dripped from each syllable. "Morgana, the girl who wanted to save the witches. Sounds like a good title for a biography." Toby continued to tease.

"I won't save them, wizards, humans, they both always think they're above everyone else. I'm just going to free them and then go home. Or what's left of our house. They can handle their problems on their own." Morgana sighed, crouching for a moment in the mud to undo an exploding trap. She eyed the device curiously before standing up and following the ghost further into the forest. The trees gave way to a brighter place, a snowy field opened up for them. A frozen river was mere steps ahead, their reflection was reflected under the stars and moon. There, the girl almost looked livid. A confirmation that her dead brother really was by her side - not that she didn't know it, but she thought she was crazy after everything she'd been through there.

"What are you going to do?" Toby asked, floating around her. She shrugged with a cynical laugh.

"I have all the information to destroy them, but I need time and resources," She explained taking a big breath to try to warm up, but she failed and she shivered. "We will complete this ridiculous task and we will go back to the base."

"Or you can open a..." Toby tried to dissuade her like an annoying good brother, but he stopped in mid-sentence and turned with confusion hovering over his face. And for the first time he was serious. If he could go pale with fear, he would surely be now. Although he was tired of running around, protecting the girl, he knew that every year was the same thing. But as he said hours earlier, her lord had summoned stronger demons this year. And the ghost felt three of them behind them at that moment. The same ones he didn't know if his sister would be able to defeat.

He pointed out to Morgana that she should start walking slowly and quietly to get as far away from the hiding demons as possible. Stumbling and almost slipping, Toby pushed his human and hoped that no one would appear. To his displeasure, Morgana started sneezing and coughing up blood again, he felt her magic get out of control and he cursed himself for letting her drink that strange pill the old man had given her. A lot of things could go wrong, but he really hoped nothing would happen now. The bushes moved and branches broke, and when Toby looked around there were three demons staring at Morgana with a desire to take her soul. The young girl was on the verge of a breakdown and he knew that her magic would be as unstable as every other time that she drank that pill.

"Can i do this?" He heard his sister swear in pain. "Do it, brother."

 He looked at her before taking possession of her body as he had already done before. The cold she felt, he felt. The feelings and thoughts she had were his now. And with that, he moved his hands very quickly when he realized that the demons were approaching and surrounding them quickly. A great barrier separated them and prevented them from attacking it. It was weak and so he started running while he still had time, looking for a place he could use to keep his sister's body warm and safe until he thought of something.

"Bloody hell, what a shit situation, Morg!" Toby grunted, but now in a hoarse and dragged tone. He did not know how long he looked for shelter or how much time he spent running, but he knew that the presences were approaching again and this time much more aggressive. He heard the murmurs of disdain and sarcasm, and he feared for his sister's life. He saw the horns slowly came out of their heads, small and sharp, twisted to the sides and long black wings with emaciated feathers punctuating out of their backs.

'We are going to die!', Toby thought, no longer able to continue. 'This is all B's fault!'

"Look, Apoliom, Belial! Such a brilliant soul. Will you want to?" One of the demons commented to his friends in a tone of immense mockery, lifting the girl by her white hair and smiling when she struggled to get out of his grip. Unsuccessfully. Toby tried to use the chains, but the most that came out of the palms of Morgana's hands was smoke. And it made the demons laugh hysterically.

"If you're going to eat her soul, do it soon. We have to go back sooner or we are going to have problems." Apoliom murmured with great disinterest in the situation, but he wanted to know how someone so young had a soul as brilliant as those. "We're already full." Belial shrugged. "Hurry up!"

The demon's face seemed to melt like candle wax, revealing a hideous face of muscle, and his eyes went the blackest shade Toby had ever seen. He leaned forward, encouraged by the other two friends who had already satisfied their hunger, he opened his mouth ready to suck Morgana's soul, and if Toby still had one, his too.

But a very bright light suddenly blinded all the demons. It was hot. Intense. Angry and calm in the same proportion. There were screams of pain and curses thrown at random, but the light just kept expanding and expanding. And a flood of warm feelings went through the ghost's chest and he knew that this sensation reached Morgana somewhere in her tired mind, he felt that she fell into a deep sleep, warmed by that light. Her body finally fell, but not in the snow. In a pair of firm and gentle arms that lifted the small body. The demons were forgotten, expelled, although not even Toby was able to remain lucid for a long time, visibly affected by using possession for so long.

"The only survivor, we are going to take her with us, Barbatos."

[merakiaes]

A Second Chance - John Shelby

Pairing: John Shelby x reader

Requested: Yes. 

Prompts: None. 

Warnings/notes: This is a part two to “A Choice”. It’s not proofread and I was severely sleep-deprived when writing this so I apologize in advance if there are any mistakes or if it sucks xD 

Wordcount: 4927

Summary: Four years after leaving John and the Peaky Blinders behind to start a better life, you return to England and run into old friends. 

Part One - A Choice

Life without John was just as painful as you had imagined it to be. The nightmares about your brother’s death that only he had been able to keep at bay had returned already the first night away from him, having you wake up screaming and drenched in sweat in the middle of the night.

After leaving your shared home without as much as a bag of clothes, you had gone straight to London where Ada was residing with Karl, and she had opened up her home to you without as much as a doubt, letting you cry into her arms, listening to you as you talked about your situation and doing her absolute best to soothe you during the night.

The next day, you had sat down and talked about what you were going to do for the future. She offered to go back to Small Heath and talk to her family, get their assistance on the divorce you wanted.

But she was different than the rest of them. She was on your side, he didn’t agree with her brothers’ morals and ways to make a living.

Tommy had never liked your attitude for the business and more specifically John’s part in it, and Arthur didn’t breath without his younger brother’s consent, so you knew that that going to them for help would never be an option. 

And either way, all of them held the same belief; that no one divorced a Shelby. So Ada did the only thing she could.

She gave you some of her clothes, helped arrange your travels, gave you enough money to be able to live on wherever you ended up, until you could find yourself a job, and sent you off before John and the rest of the Peaky Blinders could come looking for you.

Ironically, they came knocking at her door only an hour after you had bid each other goodbye at the docks, John more or less storming inside the house and rushing through every room on the look for you while Tommy, Arthur and Polly tried to hold a calm conversation with Ada.

But Ada wasn’t about to give up your location, and they knew it. And they couldn’t do anything about it, because they didn’t have anything to hold against her.

All she did was tell them that you were safe, and that you were better off without the constant death and bloodshed, which only broke John’s heart even further, because even though he hadn’t been willing to admit it at the moment of your argument, he knew that she was right, and it hurt.

It hurt to know that he wasn’t good for you.

And he wasn’t the only one in pain. The nightmares of only your brother dying quickly turned into both of them dying, and sometimes, even Tommy and Arthur, too. And the dreams didn’t stop.

Even three and a half years later, you would wake up drenched in your own sweat and trembling with fear every night.

You had ended up in Australia after a long, long journey. There, you took up work as a nurse at an orphanage, managing to land yourself employment already on your first day there as the former nurse had recently passed away in very tragic circumstances.

You mourned the loss of the love of your life, even more so when you had to work with children all day, every day; children that could have been yours and his in the future.

Every time you would sign your name on a paper, your heart would break a little more, as you still carried his name seeing as you hadn’t gotten an official divorce. 

And you couldn’t be bothered to send him divorce papers, knowing very well that Tommy would most likely be able to track you to your locations by sniffing the papers like the absolute bloodhound he was.

You stayed completely miserable for six whole months, falling into a deep depression and feeling that life no longer had anything to offer as you had no one left. 

But with a bit of encouragement from your new-found friends, you pulled yourself together and sought out your own happiness, adopting two of the very children you had been caring for in the past months.

Their names were Sheryl and Henry and they were siblings.

Sheryl was a seven-year-old girl with bronzed skin and a head of big, golden curls and dimples that could make anyone melt on the spot.

They had been made orphans when their parents had passed away in sickness four years prior, but despite the unfortunate lives they held, Sheryl was one of the brightest souls you had ever met.

Henry was nine at the time, a lot paler than his younger sister and a lot more reserved and careful. 

While Sheryl never seemed to be able to sit still, always having to run around and talk to everyone she came across, Henry was quiet and loved to sit in silence and read.

He was far too mature for his age and probably smarter than you. He had an amazing way with words and wanted to become a doctor when he grew up. He was also very good with numbers, which always made you think of John.

They made your life easier, and soon, although never stopping to love John, you found yourself moving on. You packed away the jewelry you had been wearing upon first arriving in Australia, that John had gifted you throughout the years, and hid it away along with everything else that reminded you of him.

Four years had passed since you left Small Heath. Sheryl was now eleven and Henry thirteen, the three of you living an as normal life as you could get.

You had kept in contact with Ada during the first year, but after that, you had stopped receiving letters, and you guessed they just kind of forgot about you. 

But you didn’t blame them. 

You probably should have forgotten them a long time ago, too. But for some reason, despite not regretting your decision, you didn’t.

But you knew you would have been a lot more mentally damaged if you had to watch John die. So this was the best for everyone.

And you liked it in Australia. You liked the heat, the nature, the people, and most of all; the calm. Bar fights and brawls on the streets was still something you saw every once in a while, but the violence wasn’t half as bad here as it had been in Birmingham.

But you could only stand the heat and sun for so long.

Four years after your arrival, you took the kids with you and left for London, starting a new chapter in your lives.

Seeing as you hadn’t heard anything from Ada the past few years, you had no idea what she was up to these days. 

After getting settled into the inn you would be staying at for the first week in London, just until you made up your mind whether you would be staying permanently or only for a while, you headed off to Ada’s old house with the kids in tow, taking them out sight-seeing on the way.

Upon arriving, however, a woman you had never seen before opened the door, and informed you that the woman who had lived there before her had moved to America with her son a year prior.

It saddened you that you wouldn’t be able to see her and introduce her to Henry and Sheryl, but you were happy she had been able to go off into the world on her own like she had always wanted.

You could admit you were anxious to run into any of the other Shelbys, knowing you’d have to introduce them to your children, but unlike when you had first left England when the Peaky Blinders had been on everyone’s tongues, you hadn’t heard a single word about them.

It made you slightly panicked, fear that they had finally met their ruler and gotten themselves killed filling your body, but you didn’t dare ask anyone about it, scared about what you might have found out if you did.

So you just put on a brave smile, showing the kids around the capital of your home country, the three of you having a jolly good time.

You had just entered the food market, the very same one that had been there every Thursday even back when you still lived there, and Henry and Sheryl had run off to the nearby kennel to pet the puppies running around outside in a small enclosure.

While they played with the small balls of fur, you took the opportunity to stroll along the stands of food and vegetables, starting to plan dinner for the evening to come.

You collected the things you thought you would be needing and paid for them, packing them in a brown fabric bag. You turned on your heel, still fiddling with the bag in your hands, when a voice suddenly spoke from right beside you.

“(Y/N)?”

You sucked in a breath at the familiar voice speaking your name, with the same smooth tone that you had fallen in love with all those years ago.

Your heart instantly picked up speed in your chest and you breathed shakily as you slowly turned around.

“John.” You breathed, your eyes growing big with disbelief as you spotted him, your heart beating even more violently once you caught sight of him.

And he was just as shocked as you were, looking as pale as if he had just witnessed a ghost.

“(Y/N). I-“

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” Another voice joined the conversation before John had the chance to say whatever it was he had been about to say.

The shock quickly melted off and was replaced with a wide smile as a now short-haired Polly emerged from the crowd in the market.

“Polly!” You greeted her, and she smiled a smile to match your own.

“Oh! It’s so good to see you!” She said, wasting no time in taking you into a hug. 

You hugged her back, growing sad at the familiar feeling of the motherly love you had gotten from her all while knowing her niece and nephews.

As you broke apart again, she threw a look over her shoulder, waving her hand. “Boys!”

There was no doubt in your mind who she was calling for, and not even half a minute later, Tommy, Arthur and another boy you couldn’t quite recognize emerged from the crowd, as well.

Arthur was the one to spot you first, and a cheeky grin immediately spread on his face. “Well, I’ll be damned.” He cursed, shaking his head. “If it isn’t (Y/N). It’s good to see you nice and well, lass.”

“Hello, Arthur.” You chuckled, accepting the embrace he offered upon reaching you, hugging him quickly before turning to look at Tommy.

You offered him a smile and a nod of your head. “Tommy.” You acknowledged, and he tipped his head back to you, taking the cigarette out of mouth to answer.

“(Y/N). You’re looking good.”

Offering him a smile, you thanked him. “Thank you.”

You then turned to the third boy, or young man, was better suited, narrowing your eyes slightly as you scanned his freckled face, trying to find something familiar that could put a name to his person. 

And it all fell into place when you caught the small scar on the side of his lips, a smile yet again rising to your lips.

“Finn?”

The boy in question nodded his head, a faint smile pulling at his lips, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“You look so different, I barely even recognized you!” You said, and met him halfway for a hug. He was now taller than all of his brothers, towering over them with a good margin.

“Yes, well, it’s been a while.” He chuckled, and you could sense immediately that he was nothing like his brothers. But then again, you had known that already when he was just a little boy.

“Four bloody years, it’s been.” Arthur jumped in, laughing slightly.

You stepped back after hugging Finn and opened your mouth to speak again, but before you could get another word out, a shy voice called out from behind you.

“Ma?”

You whipped around, turning to face Henry and Sheryl who were now standing behind you, watching the Shelbys with curious and shy eyes.

You put on a smile, turning to face them completely. “Yes, darling?”

Henry let his eyes linger on the strangers behind you for another moment, before turning to look at you with his soft, careful eyes. “Can we have some money for treats?”

Sheryl was smiling expectedly at his side, and you looked between them, shaking your head. “It’s a Wednesday and you haven’t had dinner yet.”

“Please.” Sheryl begged, pouting and looking up at you with her big eyes, while Henry just kept smiling shyly.

“Just this once?”

You let your eyes shift between them for a moment, all too aware of the Shelbys watching the scene unfold. You sighed, reaching your hand into the pocket of your coat.

“Fine, but just a small bag, yeah?” You told them, fishing out a note form your wool jacket and handing it over to Henry, who instantly lit up in a big smile.

“Yes!” Sheryl cheered, and Henry was quick to nod his head.

“Promise, thanks.” He agreed, coming up to you and leaving a hasty kiss at your cheek before running along to the candy store, Sheryl not far behind, yelling out a quick ‘hello’ at the Shelbys as they passed them.

Watching them disappear into the shop at the other side of the street, you turned back to the Shelbys, who were all looking at you with different expressions.  

“You’ve got kids.” Polly was the first one to speak, eyes wide with surprise.

You could only smile, and nod your head in confirmation. “I do.”

“They look a bit old to be yours.” Arthur was confused, glancing over to the shop inside which they had just disappeared.  

“I took them in from the orphanage I worked at in Australia.” You told them, and Arthur nodded.

“So that’s where you ended up, ey?”

“Yeah, it was a journey to say the least.” You turned sad at that, thinking back to how rough the first period away from your home and the people you loved had been. Quickly, you shook away the sadness and forced yourself to smile, trying to look your happiest.

“You’re all looking good!” You hurriedly attempted to change the subject. “How have things been going for you?”

“We legitimated the business.” Tommy joined in on the conversation for the first time so far, taking a drag out of his cigarette. “Everything we do now is legal. No underground work, no Peaky Blinders. Just… strictly, political business.”

To say you were shocked at this was a big understatement. Almost as if out of instinct, your eyes shot up to the peaky caps on their heads, and only then did you realize the razor blades were nowhere to be seen. Could they really have given up on the gangster way of life?

You could barely believe your ears.

“I’m glad it’s been going well for you.” You answered, quickly covering up your shock, but as Tommy’s words registered in your mind, your eyes automatically shifted to John, only to find he had already been looking at you with an unreadable expression.

The others watched as the two of you entered a staring competition, completely disconnecting from everything else going on around them – including them.

Polly smiled smugly, inspecting your facial expressions for a moment before hooking her arm with Finn’s. “We’ll leave you to it, then.” She said. “It was nice seeing you again, (Y/N). Come by for tea someday, and bring the little ones.”

You nodded your head, answering. “I will, thank you.”

But not once did you tear your eyes away from John’s as you spoke the words, barely even noticing the others slipping off and down the street again, leaving you to yourselves.

A heavy silence was left over the two of you, only standing there staring into each other’s eyes, completely oblivious to the people shoving their way past you left and right.

The sides of his head were still clean-shaven underneath his cap, he still dressed in the same grey suit, only much fancier and more expensive-looking than the ones he used to wear before you left.

He had a scar running over the side of his jaw, without a doubt created by some kind of blade, and unlike keeping his face clean-shaven like he always had before, he now had a short, short ginger stubble.

He looked much older than he had when you left him, despite only four years having passed, but you guessed the consuming line of work they had been involved in did that to a person.

He still looked good, though. His blue eyes were still sparkling and framed by the long, thick, dark eyelashes you had always loved so much, and his lips were still pink and full. He looked as dashing as ever, standing in front of you a new man.

“You’ve changed.”

John was the first one to break the silence, officially breaking you out of your trance.

But still, you didn’t move your eyes away from his.

“Time changes people.” You stated simply, blinking slightly.

He gave you the smallest nod, sniffling. “Suppose that’s a good thing.”

“Not necessarily, but in my case, yes, I would say so.” You answered, nodding your head too. “I feel very fortunate to be where I am today.”

He said nothing else for a brief moment, only staring at you and suddenly growing very hesitant.

“Did you ever…” He began, trailing off. He breathed in through his nose, his eyelashes fluttering a few times. “Did you ever settle down again? With someone else?”

You had expected the question, probably before he had even thought of it, and wasn’t shocked when it came. 

A sad smile rose to your lips at that, and a small sigh left your nose as you shook your head. “No one could ever compare to you, John.” You admitted in a whisper, and at your words, his demeanor faltered entirely.

“I missed you.” He said, taking a small step closer to you. “I still miss you. I never stopped. I never moved on. I tried to, a couple of times, but I couldn’t.”

“John…” You started, feeling your heart picking up speed in your chest again as you watched him come closer and closer. But you didn’t move.

“No, I’m sorry, (Y/N).” He interrupted you, shaking his head. “Everyone told me I would forget you with time but here we are four years later and I still love you like I did back then. And you’re standing here, looking more beautiful than ever, and you moved on.”

“I don’t regret leaving you.” The words came out of your lips before you could stop yourself. “You have to know that.”

Guilt filled your entire body the moment you had said it, only increasing when witnessing his face fall into one of sadness. But it was true what you said. He did have to know it.

“I know. And I understand.” He, surprisingly, agreed. “I started understanding the second I heard you had left for good. I tried to find you, I wanted to come after you and give you what you wanted, but Ada refused to tell me where you were. She said I wasn’t good for you, that you deserved better.”

The guilt started gnawing at you from the inside once more, your eyebrows knotting together. “John-“

“And she was right.” He interrupted again.

You sighed, finally breaking eye-contact and adverting your eyes to the ground as he came to a stop right in front of you. 

“John… I don’t know where you’re trying to go with this, but after all this time apart, we would never work. We didn’t back then, and we wouldn’t now.”

“You’re wrong.” He protested almost at once. “I can see why you would think that. But you’re wrong.”

You carefully brought your eyes back up to meet his, biting down on the inside of your cheeks. “I’m happy you’ve all turned your lives around for the better, I really am.” You told him quietly. “And I wish you all the very best, because you deserve nothing less. But I’ve got my own people to look after now.”

“What about me?” He asked. “I know you still love me. I know you better than you know yourself, and if you didn’t love me, you would have walked away long ago.”

“You knew me. Knew.” You corrected him. “But you said it yourself, people change.”

“You have your kids to look after, but you are my people. I want and have to look after you like you look after them, your happiness is all that matters to me.”

You took his words into consideration for a moment, wrapping your arms around yourself and squeezing your eyes shut. But you just couldn’t. Up until this point, you had been under the impression that you had suffered so much because you couldn’t live without him.

But you realized now, as you stood in front of him once again, after four whole years apart, that it was the fact that he had chosen the life as a thug over you that had hurt you the most.

“It didn’t matter back when it should have mattered.” You whispered back finally, having to squeeze your eyes shut even harder in order to keep the tears building up at bay.

Your heart was screaming at you to just grab his face in your hands and kiss him, forgive him for everything and pick everything up where you left off, but after being his second choice once, you just couldn’t trust his words.

Letting out a shaky breath, you opened your eyes and blinked a few times, trying your best to rid of the stinging tears. You looked up at him and gave him one last look.

“It was nice seeing you again, John.” You whispered. “Give Ada my love the next time you see her, yeah?”

He looked down at you, and you swallowed when you realized he was done talking, turning around without another word and starting to head for the candy shop.

Your feet felt like they were made of concrete as you walked, and your heart felt just as heavy in your heart, if not even heavier. 

You didn’t know it was possible for an already broken heart to break again, but here you were, feeling the already shattered organ splitting into a thousand pieces once again.

“(Y/N).”

You stopped in your tracks at the sound of his voice calling out your name, your breathing turning slightly shallow and your eyes growing wide.

You knew you should have probably just kept walking, gotten the kids and gotten out of there. You knew the only thing you shouldn’t have done was turn around. 

But as he called after you, stopping you from leaving like he hadn’t the first time around, you couldn’t help yourself, your body moving all on its own and turning you back around to face him.

Your eyes met his in an instant, and wordlessly, you watched as he brought his hand up to his neck, reaching inside his collar and pulling out a chain. He grabbed the front of it and gave it a tug, successfully ripping it free from around his neck.

He looked down at the piece of jewelry, fiddling with it for a moment, before holding it up, and your eyes instantly widened at the sight.

“Is that-“ You began, breathless, having to cut yourself short in surprise.

John nodded his head, holding the small ring in between his fingers, slowly walking over to you as he spoke.

“It’s been four fookin’ years since I last saw you but I still love you like I did back then.” He told you, his eyes never leaving your face, and your eyes never leaving the familiar engagement ring.

He stopped in front of you, looking down at you with pleading eyes. “Come home, please.” He begged. “Give me another chance. Give us another chance.”

“John-“

“Mom.” A voice suddenly came from beside you, and both you and John whipped your heads around to find Henry and Sheryl standing off to the side, each of them clutching a bag of sweets in their hands.

Sheryl was giggling quietly to herself, and Henry was smiling at you, giving you once of those looks only Henry could give; the kind that made him look so much older than he really was.

“The appropriate response when the love of your life is proposing to you is to say yes.” He spoke, and you instantly widened your eyes at his words, even more so when Sheryl joined in, nodding her head.

“You should kiss, too.” She said. “It’s in the rulebook.”

You furrowed your eyebrows lightly. “Rulebook?” You mumbled quietly under your breath, thinking to yourself, but didn’t get much time to actually form an answer as John spoke up again.

“You should listen to your kids, (Y/N).” He instructed you, causing you to turn back to look at him. “They might not be yours by flesh and blood but they’ve got your brains.”

You stood frozen, not knowing what do nor say. Were you really ready to rely on John’s promises of making a better living for himself again? After all, you had only bumped into each other less than five minutes ago.

You guessed you could take their word for it, but in reality, you really had no idea what they were up to nowadays. A lot could change for the better over the course of four years, but a lot could have changed for the worse, too.

Having gotten lost in your thoughts and doubts, you had completely missed the way his hands had raised to your face, only coming back to reality when feeling the warm, rough skin of his palms brush against your cheeks. 

And when the connection between your skin was made, it was like all of your doubts just melted right off in one second.

You had missed John this entire time, more so than you would ever be able to put into words, but you hadn’t realized how much you had craved his skin against yours until it actually happened again.

Your breath got caught in your throat and your eyes fluttered shut, and as if your body was moving all on its own, you wordlessly tilted your head up to meet him halfway, your lips pressing together within the next second.

And from the moment they touched, you were clinging to each other like there was no tomorrow, like the other would just disappear into thin air if you let go, four years’ worth of missed feeling spilling into one single kiss.

Your hand came up to grab at the back of his neck, fingernails lightly scratching the scalp of his head while his hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer.

You didn’t break apart for almost a minute, lips moving together roughly and desperately. If you would have been able to, you would’ve never broken apart again, but you needed air, and soon had to do so, although very begrudgingly.

Your chests were heaving up and down violently against the other’s when you came apart, eyes opening and staring into each other’s. 

You stayed like that for a moment, forehead’s pressed together, until you turned around to look at Henry and Sheryl who were still standing to the side, now grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats.

You raised an eyebrow at the oldest at the two, taking a small step away from John. “Now, what does a thirteen-year-old know about love?” You asked, referring to his previous statement of encouragement.

At your question, his grin only widened. “You have a box labeled ‘John’ hidden at the back of your closet and you stare at it every time you open the wardrobe to pick out your clothes. I may only be thirteen but I’m not stupid.” He answered, and you could instantly feel your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as John chuckled beside you.

You didn’t get much time to dwell upon your adoptive son’s remark, however, as John grabbed a hold of your face once more, turning you back to look at him. 

“Will you come back?” He asked, looking down at you with pleading eyes.

And this time, no doubts clouded your mind, a lazy smile spreading over your lips. 

“Wouldn’t want to break the rules in the rulebook, now would we?” You questioned playfully and smiled widely as you watched him slide your wedding band back onto your finger.

He smiled, and you could just about make out the corners of his eyes starting to glisten before he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly, hugging you into his chest and burying his face in your neck, smiling into your skin.

“I have a box labeled with your name, too.” He said, voice slightly muffled.

And just like that, you went back to being lovers and remained that way this time around.  

[delicioussshame]

I can’t finish anything so have some more wips.

______________________________________________________________

Luo Binghe isn’t sure how he feels about Shizun picking up a new disciple. He’s been the youngest for so long. How could he be a decent shixiong to this newcomer when he could barely cultivate? He’s always so busy ruining errands and dealing with Ming Fan too. Surely that’s why Shizun didn’t take him along.

But Luo Binghe takes one look at tiny Shen Yuan holding his shimei’s sleeve, staring wildly around, and feels his heart twist.

“Shen-shidi, that’s your shixiong, Luo Binghe.”

Luo Binghe swears Shen Yuan lit up when he turned toward him, and yet, his answer is very mature. “Luo-shixiong. This Shen Yuan will be in your care. I will do his best not to shame my shimei and shixiong.”

He’s so cute, standing there with a too serious face, that it takes all Luo Binghe has not to hug his new brother.

He’s always worked hard, but he’s going to have to work even harder now. He can’t disappoint Shen Yuan.

___________________

Luo Binghe cannot afford to fail here. He promised Shen Yuan he’d come back with the first place.

Shen Yuan had been so worried. He’d always been pushing books at him, trying to teach him about monsters Luo Binghe kept telling him he wouldn’t see at the Conference.

Nothing he could do would calm him.

Luo Binghe had found his reaction both endearing and heartbreaking.

Endearing, because how could he not when Shen Yuan was so obvious about his attachment to him? It only made his resolve to protect his dear shidi from everything stronger.

Heartbreaking, because Luo Binghe recognised himself in his fear. He remembers how he was after his mother’s death.

Shen Yuan receives no letter and never visits family. He never mentions anyone that’s not from the sect. He came with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Luo Binghe understands how a fellow orphan would be disturbed by the idea of losing his family all over again. He won’t let it happen. He won’t leave Shen Yuan to deal with their shizun’s mercurial temperament by himself.

He has to come back home.

___________________

He doesn’t manage it.

___________________

Shen Yuan has no idea what the fuck is happening.

He is pretty sure he did well on the “not getting slaughtered by Luo Binghe with the rest of the sect” front. Luo Binghe likes him! He always took care of him like a good older brother would. Shen Yuan made for a good, obedient younger sibling, diligent with his studies and polite to his elders.

He did not think that would translate to him being kidnapped out of the sect.

One second he was cultivating by himself, the next a portal opens, Luo Binghe steps out of it (way too early!) and pulls him inside his demonic palace, hello Luo Binghe’s domain.

Then he gets a hug. “Shixiong!”

Luo Binghe doesn’t let go. “Let your shixiong indulges a bit. He hasn’t seen his favorite shidi in so long.”

Shen Yuan sighs. “I’m your only shidi.”

“You’re still my favorite.”

______________________________________________________________

Luo Binghe immediately recognises the man dressed in cultivator garb as Yingying’s shizun.

Beautiful and serene, she said. The perfect image of an untouchable immortal, dressed in white and pale greens. Always holding a fan of exquisite manufacture.

But more than her vivid descriptions of her shizun’s loveliness, he remembers what she said next.

She’d been laying on her side, her long cascading hair not managing to hide her luscious curves.

Luo Binghe had known she wouldn’t be ready for another round just yet, and so had been pleased to listen to her lighthearted pillow talk.

Today’s topic had been her exasperation with her shizun’s lack of sex life.

“Sometimes I can’t believe how obtuse he is. Liu-shishu has been courting him for years, and I don’t think he ever noticed. And don’t get me started on the sect master! All Shizun would have to do is bat his eyelashes and the sect master would drop everything to worship him! But no, he never takes him on it. For a while I thought maybe Shizun just preferred women, but more than one female disciple has tried her hand at him, all to no avail.”

Luo Binghe could imagine the type. Cultivators could be lofty. They think they’re above the needs of the flesh.

He always enjoys teaching them how wrong they are.

If the demonic part of his heritage revels in desecrating those pompous righteous cultivators, no one else could tell. Luo Binghe was too good at his chosen hobby to let his personal feelings interfere.

“I love and respect Shizun more than anyone. Without him, I would never have become the kind of cultivator who can afford A-Luo’s company. So I am motivated by filial piety and nothing else when I say that I have never met anyone who needs to get laid more than Shen Qingqiu.”

Luo Binghe had laughed. “Oh? Is Yingying going to replace me with her old teacher?”

Her scandalised look had sent him into another bout of laughter. “A-Luo! I would never!”

“Then why is she telling me this? Does she want me to take care of him?”

Ning Yingying had stared at him, a glint in her eyes. Luo Binghe could see the plans form in her head as she spoke. “Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. It would do wonders for Shizun, and I know A-Luo loves breaking people like him.”

Luo Binghe had blinked, inwardly caught off-guard. He wasn’t blind. He knew Ning Yingying was a lot more observant than she appeared. It wasn’t the first time she had made that kind of comment. “Yingying knows me so well. Should I be worried?”

She had swapped at him. He could have easily evaded the blow, but he didn’t bother. “A-Luo doesn’t have anything to fear from me. But honestly, if I sent Shizun your way, would you take care of him? I really think he could benefit from it. And Shizun is very beautiful! Many will definitely be jealous if they ever find out.”

Luo Binghe had nothing against the idea of taking a peak lord to bed. He bet Xin Mo would love to feed on such high-quality cultivation. “I would be honored to entertain your teacher.”

He could tell from the way she had brightened he was about to be thoroughly thanked.

She had payed him too, both for herself and for her shizun’s future visit. Generously enough that Luo Binghe had wondered if he should praise her filial piety to her shizun.

She didn’t lie. Shen Qingqiu really is exquisite.

Not as handsome as Luo Binghe himself, but nobody is. “You must be Shen Qingqiu.”

“Luo Binghe, I presume.” Luo Binghe cannot quite decipher the look he’s being given, which is rare enough to catch his attention. He’s pretty certain there’s some attraction there, but the rest? Trepidation? Outright fear? Disdain? Excitement?

He’s sure he’s going to find out. He gestures for Shen Qingqiu to sit down as he moves to prepare tea. He could have one of his servants take care of it, but Luo Binghe has always preferred taking care of things himself. That personal touch has seduced more than one client, if they didn’t visit him only for his food.

Shen Qingqiu drinks the offered tea in silence before he starts talking. “If you would please tell me your fee, I will be refunding Ning Yingying. I am sorry for wasting your time, but I have no interest in procuring your services.”

Ooh, that’s cute. If Luo Binghe wasn’t an expert at perceiving the signs of physical attraction, he might even believe him. Shen Qingqiu is interested, he’s sure of it. He’s just a prude, like Yingying said. “Yingying won’t accept it. Why refuse her most thoughtful gift?”

______________________________________________________________

What if he really intended to kill me?

It’s the thought that can’t quite leave his mind, no matter how implausible it seems. There is no way Shizun would have failed to eliminate him if that was what he wanted. For most people, it’s easy to forget how deadly easygoing, charming Shen Yuan could be, but Luo Binghe had always known better. Shen Yuan was never unarmed. He delighted in wearing ridiculously anachronistic poison rings and hiding slim daggers in his sleeves. He had taught Luo Binghe how to be ready for attack at any time. Luo Binghe had taken this lesson to heart, like everyone he ever received from Shen Yuan.

It isn’t hard for him to reach Shen Yuan’s room unnoticed. Having spent years living in the casino as his protégé, Luo Binghe knew all the employees-only passageways, the hidden entrances, the unused hallways. Two employees recognise him, but it’s not an issue. Shen Yuan would be ashamed of him if he tried something as daring as confronting him in his own domain without having done the proper research beforehand. He knows Shen Yuan buried the truth about his heritage. His shizun told everyone his charge had died in a tragic accident. Everyone figured he meant a job gone wrong and haven’t asked further questions. Those who recognise him seem pleased to see him, and giddy at the idea of him meeting Shen Yuan again.

Surely Shizun must still care, if everyone thinks he does?

He tries to calm his nerve as he enters the security code to Shizun’s room. For all of Shizun’s careful preparations when attacking others, he was downright careless with his own security, recklessly confident in the casino’s personal. In all of the years Luo Binghe had stayed with him, he had not once changed the combination.

The door unlocks soundlessly.

Luo Binghe breathes again. If it hadn’t worked, he would have charmed one of his old acquaintances into letting him “surprise his shizun with his unexpected survival”, but he much preferred not having to count in an interloper.

His first thought is that Shen Yuan is even more beautiful than he remembers.

There were countless nights ending like this, with Shen Yuan drinking tea from a dainty cup, still dressed in layers of fine clothes Luo Binghe always dreamt of removing with his teeth.

______________________________________________________________

Shen Qingqiu would say that Luo Binghe is a morning person, but in this particular case it would be a lie. Luo Binghe is just an anytime kind of person. As long as his husband is on the menu, when doesn’t matter. Shen Qingqiu is convinced that if he himself didn’t enjoy sleeping, Luo Binghe would forgo it altogether in favor of having sex all night long, every night.

Shen Qingqiu would die, but he thinks his stallion of a husband would just feel more energised.

So he’s not exactly a stranger to being awakened by intimate caresses. As long as it’s not too early, he’s usually amenable to it. He has to rise anyway, so why not make it pleasant?

He is somewhat less familiar with the current number of hands and mouth trying to wake him up. He’s pretty certain the teeth worrying at his chest and the hand sliding between his thighs are Luo Binghe’s, so the mouth on his nape and the other hand grasping his left hip must be Mobei-Jun’s.

He’s also pretty sure the erection rubbing against the back of his thighs is also Mobei-Jun’s, unless Shen Qingqiu is terribly wrong and he’s in a very, very bad situation. That is very unlikely, considering anyone trying to get frisky with him who isn’t those two must not only have a death wish, but the kind of death wish where they hate life so badly they want to spend their last year in pain and misery. His status as Luo Binghe’s husband is very, very well known, to his continued embarrassment. The occasional hopelessly stupid demon has tried to kidnap him. It had always, famously, ended very badly for them.

He could just open his eyes and look to check, but he can’t be bothered. He’s still tired, damn it. Last night’s play ended up lasting for quite a while. If they want to have fun, they can work for it.

______________________________________________________________

Shizun’s control over his smell was legendary on Qing Jing Peak.

Shen Qingqiu had always had complete mastery over his facial expression, but that this extended to even his scent was almost too impressive to be believed. And yet, even when he angered, it never spiked. He would still emit the same weak, almost chemical smell he was known for.

Not bad, no one on Qing Jing Peak would dare to speak a word against Shen Qingqiu’s scent, but not pleasant either. Only the faintest notes of plum blossoms could be detected under the medicinal smell.

When he had still lived with Shizun, Luo Binghe had wondered if Shen Qingqiu was hiding a partner on Qian Cao. Maybe it was their smell that lingered on his master.

He’d ruled it out after a while. Shen Qingqiu did not sneak out for mysterious meetings, and spent his heat by himself, seemingly unbothered. Luo Binghe had admired this too. His master was truly exceptional, to govern himself so thoroughly even when no one would have expected him to. Luo Binghe could only dream of having that kind of control. He’d shamed himself thoroughly during his heat, unable to hide how much he longed for Shizun to follow him to bed. Unable to stop himself from moaning his name and imagining him filling him up as he fucked himself on his own, unsatisfying, fingers.

After, Shizun had acted like he always did. He was used to mending omegas still overwhelmed by the aftereffects of their heat. He stayed perfectly appropriate, handling the matter with compassion but no effusiveness. If he heard Luo Binghe calling for him, he never let it show. His disciple could only envy his utter mastery of himself, and be a little bit bitter that it didn’t break even for him.

He only found out why, exactly, Shen Qingqiu’s scent was immune to fluctuations when he started tending to his lifeless body. It wouldn’t do for Shizun to get dirty, so Luo Binghe washed him, as chastely as he could.

At first, he had thought the change of smell was due to his condition. Shen Qingqiu’s body wasn’t able to produce more aroma. Maybe whatever caused it was deteriorating as everything else did?

But no. The scent emerging under wasn’t anything like the faint notes of medicine and plum blossoms Luo Binghe associated with Shizun. Luo Binghe detected something muskier, touches of sandalwood and hints of citrus. Not an omega’s scent. Nothing like Luo Binghe’s smell, which reminded most people of jasmine.

His first reaction had been incredulity. Surely Shizun couldn’t have been an alpha? There was no way he could life on Qing Jing Peak, surrounded only by omegas, and support them through their heats completely unaffected?

It became obvious Shen Qingqiu was just that extraordinary. His true scent couldn’t lie.

It made Luo Binghe giddy. If Shen Qingqiu was an alpha, once he returned there was nothing stopping them from having the family Luo Binghe always guiltily dreamt of! What could be more normal than an alpha and an omega getting married?

[maheeia]

really long character survey.

rules--- repost, don’t reblog, good luck! tagged by--- @cielcrd tagging--- the person reading this <:

full name: mona jager nickname: missy age: 23-27 ( msq dependent )  birthday: 12th sun of the 3rd umbral moon  ethnic group: midlander hyur nationality: gridanian language(s): eorzean standard sexual orientation: pansexual romantic orientation: demiromantic relationship status: widowed; single class: bard, astrologian ( secondary ) hometown / area: the black shroud; the lavender beds current home: n/a, hyana geriel’s home ( occasionally ) profession: warrior of light, scion ( wolverse ), hunter ( normal verse )

physical.

hair: shoulderblade length ( shoulder length post-heavensward ), ashen brown. soft and silky when brushed. quite bouncy and wavy, almost to the point of curls. thick. usually disheaveled.  eyes: a soft peach shade-- big, bright and friendly nose: small, straight face: full, chubby-cheeked. somewhat oval-shaped. soft features. lips: soft & full complexion: smooth, mocha-toned. warm undertones. blemishes: none scars: the typical battle scars & her large back scar from the calamity tattoos: n/a ( so far ) height: 157 cm ( 5′1 ) weight: 57 kg ( 126 lbs ) build: curvy, a bit chubby. hourglass figure. rather short by definition. features: n/a allergies: n/a usual hairstyle: normally wears it down, letting it fall about her shoulders freely. will occasionally tie into a braid to sleep in, or up in a messy bun in the early mornings. usual face look: soft and kind. approachable. warm. curious. usual clothing: particularly fond of pastels & whites. doesn’t often wear form-fitting tops, but does gravitate toward shorts. flower ornaments in her hair.

psychology.

fear(s): losing the people she loves, being alone aspiration(s): helping people, being happy positive traits: energetic, clever, creative, sociable, witty, friendly, passionate negative traits: impulsive, restless, over-talkative, competitive, guarded, naive zodiac: gemini sun, aries rising, leo moon temperament: sanguine soul type(s): artisan, server animals: songbird vice habit(s): overworking, saying “um” and “ah”, self-deprecation faith: nophica, the matron; the twelve ghosts?: yes afterlife?: yes reincarnation?: yes aliens?: with skepticism political alignment: liberal, though openminded education level: high-school equivelent in eorzea

family.

father: ( birth father, name unknown ) mother: synnove smith ( adoptive mother ), aseh dhursu ( adoptive mother ), ( birth mother, name unknown ) siblings: n/a extended family: the scions ( found family ), lucan’s father ( unnamed ) name meaning(s): "mona”, in it’s old english definiton ( traditional hyuran ), means “moon.” in it’s arabic definition ( which more closely resembles her ethnicity ), it means “( unreachable ) wishes”.

favorites.

book: she loves many, many, many books, but none more than her sightseeing journal. its very loved ( read: worn ) and has notes upon notes written in it. it’s unreplacable and very informative. 5 songs: i don’t have any specific ones, but there is one lullaby her mother used to sing to her to help her sleep that she sings often when she misses her. other than that, it’s songs she’s picked up from other bards. deity: nophica holiday: hatching-tide  month: march season: summer place: outer la noscea weather: clear skies sound: rain against the trees, gentle lapping of waves, birdsong scent(s): fresh tea mix, honeysuckle, the forest taste(s): fresh-brewed tea, strawberry feel(s): a warm, thick blanket paired with a soft mattress, the warmth of a lover animal(s): most, but wolves & does especially number: 12 colors: wine red

extra.

talents: singing, writing poetry/song, playing the lyre, archery, hunting bad at: dancing, lying turn ons: submissive but strong men, dominant and strong women, black hair, light eyes, games of cat & mouse turn offs: excessively rude/ignoring her, disloyalty, being looked down on, egotistical personalities hobbies: exploring-- see talents tropes: n/a ( i know some fit to her, i’ve just never thought about it & its too broad a topic to research ) aesthetic tags: flowers, wings, cottages, sweaters, nature, 50′s-60′s, cluttered living spaces, sunshine, forests gpoy quotes: "heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. there is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes & the will to survive resides within her soul. she is you. a warrior, a champion, a fighter, a queen" - r.h sin

faceclaim info.

main fc(s): herself! alt fc(s): touko ( pkmn, unofficial ), n/a older fc(s): n/a younger  fc(s): n/a voice claim(s): choi yerim ( loona )

mun questions.

q1: if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?:

i would probably call it “flightless bird”. it would be a documentary all through her life, through videos taken of/by her at various moments of it. it would end happily, but i’m not sure how-- probably with the promise of another adventure on the horizon for her.

q2: what would their soundtrack / score sound like?:

there probably wouldn’t be one in that style! nothing of note, anyway.

q3: why did you start writing this character?:

oh man, i’ve been writing this character. i made her! i started rping her because i wanted to make some new friends and some new beginnings, but writing her... i just love her so much. she makes me so happy. writing her feels so good, y’know? it just... makes me happy.

q4: what first attracted you to this character?:

i liked the idea i made up of her being an incredibly tragic character who never showed it, just.. all smiles and positivity. i liked the sound of the challenge of making her happy again after she lost everything. plus, she’s one of the first brown characters i’ve ever created that i didn’t feel guilty for creating. she makes me feel better about myself.

q5: describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse:

i really don’t dislike anything about her! i suppose the fact that she’s sad. her being sad makes me sad. but i made her this way, so...

q6: what do you have in common with your muse?:

a lot actually, lol. it’d be easier to talk about what we don’t have in common. :P

q7: how does your muse feel about you?:

she loves me and supports me, in my head. i like to believe that she understands me on a deep level and she cherishes me because she knows who i am and what i’m going through. she wants me to be safe and happy, and know that she’s always with me if i need someone. she wants me to know that neither of us have to be alone as long as she lives in my head. we can be each other’s best friends if we can’t have any others at the current moment.

q8: what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?

honestly? herself. other than typical msq interactions, the conversations that she has in her head with herself are interesting to explore, every once in a while-- no matter how depressing they tend to be, lol.

q9: what gives you inspiration to write your muse?:

my absolute and utter adoration for her and everything she is, and also music. lots of music.

q10: how long did this take you to complete?:

ummm a few hours honestly! i don’t remember when i started. maybe 3-4?

[justaramblingromantic]

nii-chan has an ow

Characters/Pairing: Kobayashi Rindou, Tsukasa Eishi, Tsukasa Hi’en (OC), Tsukasa Chouko (OC)/EiRin

Type: Canon-divergent AU, Post-series, Peerless-verse, Freestyle

Word Count: 2996

A/N: Tsukasa!Family shenanigans. Four year old Hi’en is sick, and two year old Chouko has no idea what to feel about it. 

“Nii-chan, play…?”

Rindou lifted her head from where she was half reclining on her son’s bed, her gaze landing on the tiny form of her daughter. Curled up beside her, snoozing fitfully in an exhausted heap was Hi’en. The younger redhead was finally out like a light after coughing and raggedly struggling to breathe through a clogged nose for the last few hours. There had been a flu outbreak at the preschool, and her poor baby had caught the particularly persistent virus from his peers.

His little sister had thankfully not been affected, but they had brought her home from the preschool yesterday all the same, as a precaution. Rindou had taken leave from work to take care of her children, though her greatest challenge so far was in keeping the siblings apart. Young as she was, Chouko could not understand why her nii-chan was not playing with her…and she kept wanting to go into nii-chan’s room and climb onto nii-chan’s bed and cuddle with nii-chan and mama but for obvious reasons she had been barred.

That did not stop her from trying to sneak in all the same. The tiny white haired toddler was hovering at the doorway, and she sidled in to cross the threshold. Her mama’s eyes narrowed, and she started to straighten, though her hand was still slowly stroking Hi’en’s hair, soothing her boy as he napped restlessly.

“Baby, don’t come in-”

But her child had obviously inherited her parents’ stubbornness. She had been trying all morning to get into the room and she wasn’t about to stop now. Before Chouko could flat out sprint towards her goal in one last victorious burst, her papa came swooping in from behind to the rescue. He picked up his daughter and neatly stopped her valiant break-in attempts.

“Chou, you can’t go in,” he told the unhappily squirming little bundle in his arms. “Your nii-chan needs rest; he’s not well. He’ll play with you when he gets better.”

Chouko stilled at her papa’s explanation. She stared at him wide eyed. Eishi gazed thoughtfully at her stunned, deer-in-the-headlights expression.

“…Ow?” she asked softly, almost mumbling to herself, and both parents looked quizzically at each other, and then back at her, not sure what she was trying to say. But they also quickly recognized that wobbly expression on her face, her big lavender eyes slowly filling with tears. “Nii-chan has ow?”

She was whimpering, lower lip trembling, finally figuring out that something was wrong with her older brother.

Rindou quickly realized what was upsetting the little one so much. She sat up fully, careful not to displace Hi’en at the same time.

“Oh baby, no. Nii-chan’s gonna be okay! It’s just a little ow. Nii-chan just needs to sleep and rest for a bit and he will be fine!”

Unfortunately, the tears could not be stopped. The little two year old was crying softly as she strained towards her brother and mother in Eishi’s arms, pitiful little sounds of ‘ows’ escaping from her as she tried futilely to reach them.

Eishi was at a loss. He cradled his youngest to his chest and petted her back, but she was inconsolable. Her tiny howls of heartrending distress woke her brother, who stirred uneasily and instinctively turned his head towards the sound. His eyes opened in a drowsy, bleary squint, and he mumbled hoarsely. “…Chou, don’t cry...”

Hi’en’s voice had an immediate effect on his heartbroken sister. The smallest Tsukasa paused mid-wail, little cherubic face red from her tragic exertions and streaked wet.

“…N-Nii-chan…?”

The boy raised his hand briefly before letting it flop on the duvet again. He was so tired.

“Don’t cry,” he repeated, voice still faint, clearly more asleep than awake. The medicine that his mother had made him take was supposed to knock him out so that he would recover faster. “…Play later, ‘kay?”

Now that she had seen and heard her brother’s assurance, the little girl’s anxiety slowly calmed. She sniffled. Her chest hurt still because nii-chan was still having ow, but nii-chan said ‘play later’…so maybe nii-chan���s ow will go away?

“’Kay, nii-chan…” she murmured meekly, subsiding some more.

Hi’en did not reply; the sick, fatigued boy had nodded off again, curling into his mother’s warmth. Chouko got teary once again but she did not cry anymore, trying her hardest to be brave. Her papa made a quiet, sympathetic sound in the back of his throat and pulled her into his embrace in consolation, long, adroit fingers reaching up to wipe away the wetness that stained her cheeks.

“…Papa, down,” Chouko muttered after being coddled and comforted for a while. When Eishi took too long to respond, she repeated her request, all but starting to squirm and wiggle in his arms. “Down, down, down, down.”

Eishi exchanged another look with Rindou, and she shrugged. At last, he conceded to his slippery child’s demand and set her back down on the floor. He was prepared to stop her from dashing right for her nii-chan, but much to her parents’ surprise, she turned and toddled out of the room instead, as quickly as her short little legs could carry her. Before Eishi and Rindou’s bemusement could grow too much, the child came waddling back short moments later, dragging with her a very familiar plushie. It was a fluffy white rabbit, almost as big as her tiny self. Chouko came to a stop before her male parent and performed a ritual that the entire family knew very well by now.

“Ow, go ‘way. Ow ow, go ‘way, ow ow go ‘way,” she petted the bunny’s head as she chanted determinedly, before she finally presented the soft toy to her papa, tugging at his pant leg, expression earnest and hopeful. “Nii-chan, give?”

“…You want to give Bunney to your nii-chan?” he asked, just to make sure. It was her precious, most favorite possession, and one which she always demanded to have with her during naps and bedtimes.

She nodded eagerly. “Give, Chouko give!”

Eishi’s gaze was soft as he took her beloved bedtime companion from her. He petted the top of her head. “I understand. Stay here.”

Chouko obediently hovered by the doorway and watched solemnly as Eishi entered the room and towards his wife and son. Rindou’s eyes were fond and warm too, as she accepted the offering from him and made a big show out of tucking her daughter’s beloved toy beside Hi’en. The doll would watch over nii-chan in her place.

“I’ll take Chou to work with me today, so you can take care of En,” Eishi spoke quietly to his mate.

Rindou lifted her brow. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “We’re only doing stock inventory today – I’ll keep her safely entertained. We should be home before dinner.”

“M’kay, then.”

He leaned down and brushed a kiss over her cheek, his hand briefly drifting over his son’s tousled red hair at the same time. “Text if you need anything,” he murmured before pulling away.

“Will do~”

“Papa, we go?”

Chouko stared at her father with huge, curious eyes as he carried her from the nursery to the living room.

The little toddler had just been changed from her indoor clothes to her going out clothes, plus another two extra layers over her leggings and long sleeved shirt to keep her snug and warm. It was in the middle of winter and the last thing they needed was for her to catch a cold, too. Her hair had also been neatly combed and a pretty butterfly bow clipped neatly at the back of her head, keeping her fluffy white locks from getting in her face.

Eishi continued into the kitchen and set her down on the island counter, and she thumped the back of her heels idly against the vertical surface as she swung her stockinged legs, a pastel lavender creation with cute little black kittens crawling all over it.

Chouko watched her papa as he moved purposefully around the kitchen, pulling out her milk formula from the cupboard and setting aside a portion for lunch later. He also took out an apple from the fridge, washed it thoroughly and proceeded to cut it up quickly for her snack. He handed one slice to her and packed the rest away into a small Tupperware.

Chouko took the offering and chomped at the crunchy fruit with gusto.

“Yes. You’re coming with papa today, okay?”

“Nii-chan?” she asked between bites, concerned. She was still a bit forlorn, and her papa reached over and rubbed the top of her head comfortingly.

“Mommy will look after nii-chan,” he told her softly. “Nii-chan will be fine. Don’t worry.”

The bag was quickly filled with the other essentials; her sippy cup, extra diapers, wet wipes, baby powder, some toys, plus a few more odds and ends. She was already eating solid foods, starting to wean off of milk these days, and they were also just starting to potty train her, but she wasn’t fully there yet. Eishi reached over to lift Chouko into his arms, transferring her from the tabletop to the ground. He helped her into her winter wear, a puffy white monstrosity that turned her into a living marshmallow, before shrugging into his own coat. Then he slung the bag over his shoulder, picked Chouko up again, and they stopped briefly by Hi’en’s bedroom on their way out.

“Say goodbye to mommy and nii-chan,” he coaxed her.

“Mommy, bai bai,” the toddler obediently recited. Her voice was quiet as she thoughtfully waved to her mother and brother, the latter still asleep. “Nii-chan, bai bai.”

Rindou looked up from the bed, where she had a laptop perched on her lap, in the middle of replying to some fanmail while keeping her sleeping son company. Thanks to the medication and the rest, he was already starting to breathe better, and his coloring was slowly returning to normal. She smiled and waved, wiggling her fingers at her littlest baby.

“Bye bye, kawaii~! Have lotsa fun for mama and nii-chan, ‘kay?”

The baby nodded, and Eishi locked eyes with his wife.

“Then, we’re going now.”

Grinning, Rindou waggled her fingers at him too, her babies’ daddy.

“Itterasshai, drive safe~”

Bringing Chouko along with him turned out to be the right decision to make. The moment Eishi strapped his daughter into the child’s car seat and started to drive, her mood improved. It had always been that way ever since when she had only been a little baby. Car rides soothed her, and there were times when she was crying nonstop as a very young infant and they were at their wits’ end until they accidentally discovered that she would quiet down and nod off quickly whenever they put her in a moving vehicle. At the beginning, there were even some evenings where the whole family would just climb into the car and drive aimlessly around the neighborhood in circles until the kids fell asleep.

As such, Eishi wasn’t too surprised when Chouko was soon thoroughly distracted and back to her happy, curious self again, babbling to her papa beside her in a language that only she could understand and gazing out the window with wonder as they meandered through the streets of downtown Tokyo. It was nearing Christmas, and some of the main roads along the major shopping districts were decorated by enchanting and colorful fairy lights strung just about everywhere, much to the laughing delight of his little butterfly child.  

By the time they arrived at the restaurant and parked, Chouko was all bright eyed and in a good mood. She had always been a happy–go-lucky baby, so her father was glad to see that she was cheerful again.

“Papa, where go?” the white haired toddler asked her male parent as he released her from the child seat and lifted her out of the car. She automatically hooked an arm around his neck to steady herself, and he propped her against his hip, sitting her bottom on his forearm so that she would not end up sliding down. He was already shouldering the bag with all the things for her, and he nudged the car door close before locking the vehicle.

“We’re going to the restaurant today,” he told her patiently, as they started to walk down the street and towards the building at the end. She gazed at him curiously, at least until a stiff, icy head wind kicked up, blowing hard enough that she made a startled sound and hid her stinging face in her father’s neck, shivering at the chill. The snow had not arrived in Tokyo yet this year and it was never a certainty if it ever would, but it was still really cold and wet around this time in December. Eishi reached up and flipped Chouko’s hood up over her head, his large, lean hand curling over the back of her skull, keeping the hood in place to protect his child from the elements. This one wasn’t as averse to winter as her mother was, but she did not enjoy being uncomfortably cold, either.

He walked them quickly to the restaurant, and it was only after they had ducked into the cozy warmth of the establishment that he finally let Chouko down. His little marshmallow daughter still had her hood up and she tottered in an unsteady circle trying to figure out where she was. Eishi’s lips twitched as he watched her orientate herself.

“Come, Chou.” He stretched out a hand towards her and she took it trustingly. He walked slowly with her deeper into the restaurant. They were closed today to deal with housekeeping matters, which was why it was possible to bring Chouko along. Otherwise, the intense heat of the kitchen and the incredibly fast paced environment during crunch time was hardly the safest and most conducive place for a very young child to be in, and her father tended to get so immersed when he was working to come up with the exquisite culinary creations that he was so well known for that he would have been hard-pressed to keep track of his offspring at the same time.

The doors to the kitchen swung open, and out ambled his assistant who had obviously just heard them enter the building. The younger man did a quick double take when he saw Eishi’s little companion. The hint of fluffy white hair and the bright lavender eyes were dead giveaways as to the little cotton puff’s parentage.

“Oh, hey Boss. I didn’t know that it was Bring-Your-Child-To-Work-Day today,” he drawled, rocking up closer to study his head chef’s youngest child. He squatted down before the tiny little thing, who was staring back at him with open curiosity. The fact that her papa was beside her probably contributed to her lack of fear before a complete stranger.

“Hello, hello,” he greeted in a sing songy kansai-ben. “So yer my Boss’s precious ‘lil princess, huh? What’s yer name, hime-chan?”

The child tilted her head, and her hood fell off at the movement, revealing a really adorable little squirt hidden underneath. She also lifted her head to look at her papa, a bit uncertain.

“Tell him your name,” her father encouraged her gently, nothing at all like the utter demon that he was in the kitchen, continuously demanding perfection out of his staff, selfishly squeezing out every drop of their talent for the sake of accentuating his cooking.

“…Chouko is Chouko…” she blurted out, shyly. Cute. It was hard to believe that his uptight ice king of a boss could physically produce such a precocious offspring.

“Hi there, Chouko-hime. I’m yer pop’s head lackey, Izumi-kun. D’ya think I’m handsome?” He lazily struck a pose, complete with peace sign.

Eishi wanted to sigh in consternation at Izumi’s antics. Why were good assistants so hard to find?

His previous sous chef had tendered his resignation a few months ago to migrate to another country to start up a restaurant as had always been his dream, and Eishi had let him go with his blessings. The problem thereafter was finding a replacement that was on par or at least not too far off in skillset, but much to his dismay, that sort of talent had been as hard to find as trying to locate a needle in a haystack, especially when taking his demanding expectations into consideration.

A few weeks ago, Kenjiru Izumi sauntered into Chateau seeking a job interview. The man had been utterly ridiculous too, citing his only prior job experience as a takoyaki chef and that he had quit his position because he wanted a change of pace and that he had lost respect for his ex-boss because ‘his balls were even smaller than the ones I’m used to flipping.’

Eishi had been very much ready to write the punk off as a joke entry…only that it quickly turned out that he was not…and so here they were now. Not a day went by without Eishi questioning himself if he had made a mistake signing the mouthy and opinionated guy on as his sous chef, but truth to be told, as outrageously eccentric as Izumi was at times, his ability in the kitchen was top-notched and even more refined than his predecessor…which left Eishi trying to figure out exactly what sort of takoyaki restaurant it was that the other man had honed his skills in.

Chouko continued to stare at this strange golden haired man with the squinty eyes and the wide fox smile, visibly bewildered.

“Please don’t harass my two year old daughter,” Eishi muttered with exasperation. “If you make her cry, you’ll be responsible for getting her to stop as well, Izumi.”

The younger man huffed with amusement. “Hime-chan, you won’t cry, right? We’re gonna be good friends. I’ll carve you a carrot butterfly if you say ‘Izumi-kun is very handsome.’”

“…And don’t teach my two year old daughter to say nonsense, thank you very much.”

[fallen029]

Camping and Contemplation

Flicking through some old shit and this is one that no one else seemed to like, but I always did. Just some more laid back shit than the kinda stuff Bickslow and Lisanna usually get into. 

The water was clear enough that it reflected the setting sun so perfectly that Lisanna hated herself for shutting her eyes. But she did. Because it was just as beautiful, just being there was, without having to even see it.

"It's so quiet," Bickslow mumbled as he sat there next to her on the rock, staring out at the lake with a completely different feeling. He wanted to go swimming. Lisanna said no though, that he was only make noise and disturb her tranquility.

Please. He was nothing if not a nature aficionado. He expected the higher things of the outdoors. She just didn't know his inner feelings. That's all.

"Let's keep it that way, huh?" she sighed as one of his dolls came to land in her lap. It was Pappa. He was the most childlike of the bunch and usually stuck close to her. Especially in unfamiliar surroundings. "Even the babies know to be quiet."

And they did. Though they were floating overhead, they could tell that Lisanna wanted them to remain silent and, since they just loved her so much, they were trying hard to follow her tacit request.

Bickslow only let out a slight breath, hunching forwards on the big rock they were resting on, right there next to the lake, pressing his elbows into his knees as his head fell to his hands.

So much for their big fun hiking trip. They'd only been gone a few hours and already he wasn't too big on doing it again. Lisanna wanted to take in the environment with placid contemplation. But Bickslow? He liked to point things out and talk about them and hear how his voice echoed in the empty woods. He liked to play games and run around clearings and just…be.

Lisanna wasn't too big on that.

Maybe it was his fault, in his approach to her on the topic of getting away with one another. It had come only a few days ago, when she returned from (in his opinion) a far too long job with her brother. He and the babies had missed her. Sure, they'd only been dating for six months, but still. He'd taken to her right away. She was so…so…captivating.

Which was silly, of course, considering he'd only known the girl practically his whole life. But he'd never rightly seen her how he found himself doing so those past few months. She'd always been Mirajane's baby sister. The Salamander's best friend. The girl that died. The one in the tragic accident that forever changed the remaining Strauss children.

She wasn't that to him anymore. None of that.

Lisanna was the girl that just wanted to make her sister and brother respect her. And she liked chocolate ice cream, plain, but if she was having any other flavor, there had to be sprinkles. She'd explained that one to him about a thousand times, but he still wasn't sure her reasoning.

Lisanna liked it when he called her Lissy because it made her feel special. She also had a killer left hook when they were fighting. She was almost abusive, he felt.

And boy, if she didn't fight him on some things. He never knew it, never could from the outside, but she was pretty dang opinionated. With him at least. She never rightly would come out and say things in the guildhall, couldn't fathom standing up to the likes of Erza or Evergreen or even her big sister, Mirajane. She'd let them all fight it out there, not once opening her trap, until they were alone in his apartment, where she'd let it all out. How mean they all were, how Natsu never talked to her anymore, how annoyed she was that Laxus was dating her sister, or that Ever was ruining her brother.

She had a thought on everything.

Not that they were all negative though. Oh, no. Not that at all. In fact, most of Lisanna's thoughts and feelings were kinda…bubbly. And cute. When she wasn't churlish over something going on at the guildhall, she was almost childlike.

Which was just perfect for the man that walked around wearing a knight's sallet and played with dolls.

Lisanna had a way about her. She was…optimistic. About everything. Like when, last month, he and Freed got into a big blow up fight and he was upset, she just told him that it showed how much he loved Freed and how great of friends they were.

"What are you talking about? That's stupid, Lissy. I-"

"Tell me another person, Bickslow, that you'd let talk to you like that? That he'd let talk to him like that? That either of one of you would forgive? Because you both know that by next week, it'll be just like none of this ever happened. Because he's your best friend and you're his." She'd given him a hard stare then. "You don't argue with enemies. You blow 'em away, don't you?"

Then he'd reached out to tap her on the head with a sigh. And even though he wasn't ready in that moment to forgive Freed, he knew he would eventually.

And that other than Laxus and Ever, Lisanna was the only other person he put on that short list of people. You know; the list of those he argued with, instead of, as she put it, blew away.

She helped him through so much. He ever once, though he'd never admit to it, cried to her one night, when they were both a little bit more than drunk and she was sleeping over at the apartment, about how his dead parents and his past and…

Lisanna was just special.

So, anyhow, a few days ago, he'd been missing her real bad. She'd been gone for a whole week! And before that, he'd been on his own job, cutting their time together even further. The second she strode into the guildhall that morning, home from her trip finally, he'd tossed his arms around her and just asked her.

"Do you wanna go away with me for the weekend?"

And Elfman had been there, of course, as well as Mirajane. Though they let Lisanna do pretty much whatever she pleased, that only held true to the confines of Magnolia. She was an adult, of course, only two years younger than her older sister, but…well…

Lisanna never exactly wanted to worry them. It just made them feel better to keep her close. It had been a hassle enough, the first time she had to walk back into the house she shared with the two of them after spending the night over at Bickslow's. Going away with him, she thought, was out of the question.

But Mirajane came to her rescue, just as Elfman was ready to trounce Bickslow into the ground for even suggesting it. He was already all fired up, after not having been home for a week and was irritable, but Mira had just the cure for that.

"You know, Elf," she'd said after glancing at her sister and reading just from her facial expression that she very much so wanted to say yes to Bickslow. "With Lisanna gone for the weekend and what with me staying with Laxus so much, why, you'd practically have the house all to yourself. To do whatever you pleased."

"I don't wanna do nothing! I-"

"I said," Mira hissed then. "You could do whatever you pleased."

"Mira, I heard you. But-"

"Whatever you pleased."

"I don't-"

"You could invite Ever over! Sheesh, Elfman. Are you that dense?"

So of course, because Evergreen was there that day and overheard them (she'd never admit it, but she was in fact heading over to greet her (not) boyfriend), that started a fight about how stupid Mirajane was. Why would Ever want to be around Elfman?

And then Mira started crying because she hated more than anything being called stupid and Laxus got involved and it was a big mess and, well, in short, Lisanna and Bickslow made the escape, Lisanna knowing that she'd thank Mirajane a thousand times over for the distraction.

Then they just took to walking around Magnolia, planning their trip.

"We could go to the beach," Bickslow offered as his babies hovered more over his girlfriend than their master.

"Everyone goes to the beach," Lisanna complained softly, slipping one of her hands into his. He only moved to interlace their fingers with a smile. "That's boring."

"You wanna go somewhere fun, huh?"

"Not fun. Just…"

"You wanna relax," he pinned then, nodding his head. "Right?"

"Well…yeah, actually, I do."

"Then we can take a relaxing weekend somewhere, huh? Somewhere…secluded."

"Yeah." Lisanna was giggling slightly then, making his babies mimic her. "So we could unwind."

"We could…" He thought for a moment before grinning. "We could go camping!"

"Camping?" Lisanna frowned. "Bickslow, we all go camping. Constantly. For jobs."

"That's not campin', Lissy," he told her. "Not really. That's just out of necessity. This is gonna be real campin'. With sleepin' bags and long walks and marshmallows. And just me and you." When his dolls let out despondent howls, Lisanna took to snickering while their Papa only added, "And the babies, of course."

"Of course," Lisanna said.

"Of course," they cried, as if offended. "Of course."

So it was all decided. They picked a spot and, that very weekend, they headed out. Bickslow was all stoked about being alone with Lisanna. Really alone. Considering most of their dates took place in Magnolia (again, her siblings boundaries thing), that didn't leave a lot of room to get away together. They'd be out to eat and, oh! There was Laxus and Mirajane. Or, ooh, they were at the park, trying to find some time together, but here's Natsu, Happy, and Lucy. And forbid that they went shopping without Levy and Erza.

It was madness.

Plus, Bickslow knew that there was a lake in the center of that specific forest and planned to get some nice swim time in with her as well. Usually, when they went to the pool or the beach, they were, once again, in a group. Bleh.

But he knew she'd packed her bikini for the trip, just incase they did take a dip in the lake, which was sweet. Even sweeter though would be if he could somehow manage to get her to bypass any clothes at all.

Didn't see it happening, but the man could dream.

His phrasing though had seemed to throw Lisanna off. She didn't see the trip as a chance for them to screw around and have a little alone time. No. She saw it just how he'd said it. As a chance to relax. To take in the sights.

More bleh.

"You should take off your helmet," she'd suggested to him at one point, after denying his suggestion that they could try a tree climbing race. "So you can see more."

"No thanks," he'd grumbled as he followed along behind her, the babies thoroughly enjoying just being with the two of them as they trailed behind. "I can see just fine."

"Your loss."

That had only been an hour ago. And now, after having clomped all the way to the lake, she wasn't even going to let him swim in it?

The lady was kooky.

"Here," Lisanna was saying then, after taking in the way that he was hunched over, almost glaring out at the water before them. Reaching over, she snatched his helmet from him, making Bickslow glare at her.

"Hey-"

"Now look," she said, placing the sallet down on the rock between them. "And tell me that that doesn't make you at least wanna have one moment of peace."

He'd had his peace! He wanted to have his fun now! What was with her anyhow? He knew that he was her first boyfriend, but hey, he thought that it was just commonplace and well known that if a guy takes you somewhere, you're gonna put out.

Just as he was about to turn and tell her this though, something caught his eyes. It was glimmer off the water, the sun striking it just so that the water looked less murky and more…beautiful. From behind the bars of his mask, it'd just been a lake, but then, sitting there with Lissy and the babies, it was…

"It's pretty," he whispered as his other babies fell form the sky too, not just Pappa, and moved to claim their usual spots. Pippi on Lisanna's head, Poppo and Peppe in Bickslow's lap, and Puppu between them.

"Yeah," Lisanna whispered, moving to lean against him then, her leg brushing up against Puppu. Not that he was complaining. "It is, isn't it?"

Maybe it wasn't so bad to take a moment out, Bickslow decided then as he glanced down at her and his babies before back at the water.

"Bickslow?"

"Hmmm?"

Lisanna didn't move her head, but did tilt her eyes up to gaze at him. "I'm really glad that we got to come here."

He smiled then and it wasn't malicious, there was no animus behind it. It was just a smile. He was learning to do that more, to not be dark or maniacal. Just be happy. With her.

"Me too, kid," he sighed, turning back to watch the water. "Me too."

[fungusfairgrounds]

Filling [this] out for Moffy ! deleted some questions i didn’t care about....

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

They’re not in his age group that doesn’t really make sense ?? Moth has two moms and a dad and a little sister. His parents are roughly 20-ish years older than him and his sister is 13 years younger. They’re all close but he might have spent a lot of time with one of his moms ? When something is wrong I feel like he might go to a friend first then his family after. Also his family isn’t super developed yet so its hard to say lmaO.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?  What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

He gets along well with his moms and his dad !! They’re a very happy family, I don’t think there’s much conflict between them. They obviously butt heads every now and then (they really wanted him to come home for a while after he got in an accident but he refused) but they get along.

3. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Not so much witnessed but he experienced something that changed him. His family, they’re probably the only ones he currently wants to share that information with.

4. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

5. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Wallet, keys, phone, sometimes a piece of candy or a stick of gum, and paper scraps with a small pencil.

When something/someone is on his mind, yes. Like, if he misses someone they show up in his dreams a lot. Usually though, not really.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

He might have altered “flashback” dreams to his accident or relating to his phobia. He might also have nightmares about being forgotten.

7. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Not a real gun just the splat stuff. Probably just a target in the testing range.

8. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Yes. His family probably didn’t have to worry about things too much but currently Moth is really poor and is very careful with spending money. He’s doing a tiny bit better than when he was in college but not much. He can at least eat his three meals a day now.

9. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

He’s fine with both !! Very comfortable in either. However, if he’s around someone he doesn’t trust he’d rather wear more clothing. He has a lot of scars on his back and he wouldn’t want people he’s not comfortable being around to see them and ask about them.

10. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

In his accident where he almost died. Since it happened while there was fog, he associates fog with it so he’s pretty afraid in foggy weather as well.

11. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

[Voiding lol idc]

12. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

I don’t think so.

13. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Faces ! He’s a very visual person.

14. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Not really but also maybe cause he’s so damn poor ? There’s stuff he’d like, and he would like to have more money, but its mostly to support those around him. He probably was team love for that splatfest, but sees nothing wrong with wanting money too lmao.

15. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness. He’s currently not very successful, but he is very happy. He would like to be successful as well someday, but not having that currently doesn’t drag him down.

16. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Probably some plush toy ! Maybe a sheepy.

17. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition 100%

18. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Moff is probably very needy for validation and in return he would drop everything he’d doing to do something for his date- which probably would be kind of annoying if he’s hanging out with you but then drops you in a heartbeat to reply to his bf for a few minutes.

I don’t think its ruined his past relationships because he’s giving them so much attention...they just didn't work out.

19. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

He might compare out of self-criticism ? Especially former classmates that he felt he was just as good as at the time who got jobs but he did not so it makes him kinda feel he’s falling behind in things...he’s still doing his best though. I don’t think he thinks about that too often,

20. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

He’d blame himself, not others. He’s not one to throw others under the bus.

21. What does your character like in other people?

I think he likes people that don’t care what others think ? Just people who are fun and adventurous and can always make sure you have a good time, no matter if its going to a theme park or just going to the convenience store at 2 am because you’re craving junk food. He likes fun, kind people.

22. What does your character dislike in other people?

He doesn’t like it when people won’t listen or continue to do things when he lets them know he does not appreciate it.

23. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

He’s probably quick to open up and trust others if they’re good people, but not 100%. 

24. How does your character behave around children?

25. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

He tries to be a good example and not curse or anything around them minus his little sister...since she’s family so “she doesn’t count” lmaO.

Moth is a very honest person so usually he can avoid confrontations since there’s not much built up anger from avoiding certain things, but when arguments do happen he doesn’t handle them too well. He usually just takes time to himself for the rest of the day but later calls whoever he argued with and apologizes- even if it wasn’t his fault. He doesn’t like strife.

Never ever ever ever !! Moth is not violent at all. Even if he’s angry, he would never go out of his way to physically harm someone. 

26. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

27. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Moff probably has always wanted to be a fashion designer. He’s still working on it !

28. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Onions ?? he can’t bring himself to swallow them they’re nasty, the texture probably makes him gag. I already said what he doesn’t like personality wise somewhere else here.

29. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

30. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

He finds comfort in those around him, not particularly the situation.

Anything dealing with fog.

I think I’ve answered this before, but he is open for criticism but it can be hard to deal with sometimes too for him. He would love to get better and when he asks for it he’s very willing to improve. When he made something he’s proud of and doesn’t ask for crit right away but gets it then he might feel a little upset since he was just trying to show something he really liked. He’ll eventually go back and look at it though and try to improve on the next thing.

31. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

32. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

He would try it again if it doesn’t work out the first time, but if it keeps failing its obvious to him his method isn’t working so he would try to approach it at another angle.

33. How does your character behave around people they like?

He’s very sweet and kind and bubbly ! 

34. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

He’s a little cold and makes it very obvious to the person that he doesn’t like that he does not like them at all. I can only think of one person he’d be like that too lmaO....

35. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

He would remove himself from the situation rather than get rid of the problem itself, I feel.

36. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Very well. He’s a kind boy and appreciates their service.

37. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Moff probably feels like he has to earn it ? He works very hard, and feels its a lot more rewarding to get something after hard work than just being given something. Nonetheless he still likes getting gifts of stuff he likes, though...

38. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

39. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

No

[Void]

40. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Its very easy he loves to let people he loves know he loves them !!!!! He won’t say it if he doesn’t mean it.

[bonnieberries]

woman in doubt

little jon/sansa fic, for how i imagine their reunion might be like. or a fic that shows jon and sansa’s relationship through dany’s eyes.

When Daenerys finally arrives in the North, she finds Winterfell sorely disappointing.

It’s dark, looming towers surrounded by black trees and ice give an aura of unforgiving chill and rigidness. When she says as much to Jon Snow, he gives her a short bark of laughter. “Yes, your Grace, it is so different from the warmth and comfort of Dragonstone, wouldn’t you say?”

To her side, Tyrion attempts (and then fails) to muffle a snicker and she shoots him a dark glare.

Yes, it’s true the ruins of Dragonstone, haunted by ghosts of the past are no better than Winterfell’s stone walls. She only meant that with the way Jon Snow had been speaking of the North with near worship in his eyes and voice for the past few weeks, she expected a lush castle full of life that would inspire such devotion from an unusually cold and sullen man.

Even now, as they approach the walls, Jon Snow looks up at the towers with a hint of a smile on his lips. A smile! She had begun to worry his range of emotions only consisted of sullen anger and melancholy brooding. The ‘King’ in the North unnerves her, to say the least. He is steadfast in his opinion that the North should remain independent, and any attempts (whether subtle or overt) to sway him are useless. Any man would have fallen for either her charms or been cowed by her dragons, by now, but not Jon Snow, and it has left her at a loss. He has such an unwavering devotion to House Stark and their place in the North, one would think he was a trueborn son, and not a bastard.

Daenerys has heard bits and pieces of the Starks through stilted conversations between Jon and Tyrion. She herself, has enquired about them before, but he is always reluctant to divulge information.

Tyrion had told her, House Stark had their own share fair of tragedies, and only Jon and one trueborn daughter remained. Rickon was the youngest and he and his elder brother Bran, a cripple, were killed years ago.There was Arya, Jon’s favorite, she surmised, as he spoke of her the most fondly. But, she too, had met a tragic end by the Lannister’s hands.Robb Stark and his mother had died attempting to avenge their family. Sansa Stark was the lone survivor of her family, but Jon spoke the least of her. Tyrion surmised this was because the siblings privately warred behind their united front as King in the North and Lady of Winterfell. Varys had agreed, It’s only reasonable to assume, Your Grace, he had said, Sansa Stark is the trueborn daughter of Eddard Stark, yet her bastard brother was crowned. I can only imagine there is a deep bitterness within the girl.

If that was so, Daenerys couldn’t help but sympathize with Sansa Stark. If she had a bastard brother and he had assumed the Iron Throne ahead of her, only because he had a cock in between his thighs, she would set Drogon on him in a heartbeat.

Daenerys is intrigued by the Lady of Winterfell, an unknown figure, she has yet to meet. Perhaps the key to obtaining the North is not with Jon Snow, but with Sansa Stark, and the rift between the two half-siblings. She thinks herself rather crafty, and tucks that thought away. It is something she will have to explore at the castle, when she finally meets the Lady of Winterfell.

When they come to the gates of Winterfell, the posted soldiers recognize their King immediately and snap to attention.

“Your Grace,” the man stammers, “We did not expect you for another week.” There were no ravens sent to Winterfell, in their haste to make it up North. News of the ever-weakening wall, and pressure from Cersei’s army had all but forced Daenerys and Jon to make a hasty retreat.

“Aye, please wake and inform Lady Sansa of my arrival.” Jon says wearily, rubbing at the stubble on his chin. “Tell her, I come with Queen Daenerys and Lord Tyrion.”

One of the soldiers, makes haste to deliver the news, while the other soldiers pale at their king’s words and their eyes harden as they finally see Daenerys underneath her heavy furs. She can practically see the anger crawling underneath their skin. Tyrion had warned her, of course. The North remembers.

The gates of Winterfell open, and Jon dismounts his horse to lead it in. Daenerys is struck once more by how at ease the King is, now that he is at home. On the other hand, Daenerys has never felt so uncomfortable or out of place as she has in Winterfell.

Her finery, which she wore as a means of intimidation and as a display of confidence, is hidden behind a coarse fur cloak, she had no choice but to wear in the biting cold. Her dragons, which she had agreed to keep away from Winterfell, per Jon Snow’s insistence, provide her with no means of defense or empowerment. Even her usual retinue of advisors and soldiers are absent and the realization of how vulnerable she is within the cold walls of this castle sends a flare of panic through her.

Tyrion somehow senses her panic and he pulls his horse next to hers as they enter into the castle courtyard. “Do not fret, Your Grace.” he murmurs. “The Northerners love their king. Jon Snow says no harm will come to us, and they will do as he says.”

And Tyrion, is once again right. She sees the look of adoration upon both servants and soldiers alike for their king. Jon greets his subjects with a firm nod, there is no demand for fealty for it is freely given to him. Doubt gnaws at her insides, and the grey Stark banners hanging from the walls are a burning reminder that she is a foreigner, a stranger, in this territory.

“Jon!”

Daenerys only sees a flash of flaming red hair before Jon is embraced by a woman, nearly knocking him off his balance. The woman is taller than him, but he easily returns the embrace, nearly lifting her a couple inches off the ground with a slight chuckle. The familiarity with which the two greet each other, can only mean that this woman is-

“Sansa,” The King breathes. His eyes crinkle as he freely gives a smile to his half-sister, the famed Lady of Winterfell.

She is not at all what Daenerys had imagined her to be. Somehow, she pictured Sansa Stark to be a small woman with Jon’s dark curls and solemn expression. Tyrion only mentioned her to be the embodiment of absolute grace and a perfect lady. However, the woman in front of her belies that very description. A silk robe peeks out of her thick fur coat, haphazardly thrown on, no doubt, when she heard the news of her brother’s arrival. Her fiery hair whips around her face, free from the constraints of the traditional Northern style, so many of the women here favor.

Dany realizes with a start that she has caught Sansa Stark in a moment of vulnerability, a rare moment where she has shed her title of ‘Lady of Winterfell and right now is only a sister, overjoyed to see her brother. Even that, however, seems like an oversimplification. There is something deeper lurking there.

Jon begins to enquire of Sansa’s well-being, Winterfell’s state, and other inane chatter that fades away to a dull hum. It is not what is said, that is important, but rather their actions. Tyrion and Varys had believed their united front to be a facade, but they could not have been more wrong. From the way, Lady Stark hurriedly calls for a warm bath to be drawn for Jon, to how Jon quickly drops a kiss atop his sister’s head to thank her for doing so, it’s all so genuine. Suddenly, she’s years younger, and she can hear Viserys’ harsh threats to punish her. Her throat feels thick, and jealousy unfurls in her stomach.

“Your grace?” Tyrion’s voice nudges at her, and brings her out of her reverie with a start.

She realizes now, that the Starks have finished greeting each other, and now look at her, expectantly. Her cheeks burn, “Yes?”

Jon Snow clears his throat, “This is my sister, Princess of Winterfell, Sansa Stark.”

The princess gives a perfect curtsey, as though she were wearing a gown spun of gold, and not her night clothes. Her beautiful features smooth into a practiced, genial expression. “It is quite the honor to meet you, Queen Daenerys. I hope my brother, King Jon, has been good company. He is an excellent ruler and fighter, but a poor conversationalist, I’m afraid.”

Daenerys is thrown by her teasing tone, but Lady Stark’s words are not completely harmless and vapid. She has addressed Daenerys by her proper title, but also made sure to emphasize her brother’s as well. In addition, she’s managed to show their united front and her faith in her brother’s abilities without appearing boastful. In just a few sentences, Sansa Stark has made it clear, she is anything but a vapid woman, if anything, she is the reason Jon Snow stands as King.

“He was fine company.” She replied, shortly. “I hope you have not been too overwhelmed in your brother’s absence, acting as his regent.”

“I sorely missed him.” Lady Stark, replies sweetly. “I’m afraid the nuances of politics and court handlings are often lost on me.”

Daenerys’ eyes narrow. She doubts this very much. Tyrion clear his throat, “Lady Sansa, I trust you are well?”

She nods warmly. “Yes, I’m glad to see you using your abilities in a more deserving role. It seems our time away from King’s Landing has been kind to the both of us.” Her eyes widened as she remembered something. “Ah! My apologies, you must be so cold, Brienne can show you to the Great Hall, a meal will be prepared very shortly for you. Your rooms are being prepared as we speak right now, I hope you’ll forgive the wait.”

“Will you be joining us?” Tyrion asks.

Lady Stark shakes her head, “I have some matters I would like to attend to with the King. In his absence, he has missed much.”

Daenerys’ violet eyes flick over to Jon Snow, who cannot hide his relief. “If you’ll excuse us.” he nods, before taking his sister’s arm, and the two depart. A deep sense of dread settles in her stomach as she watches their retreating figures. When all is said and done, she fears the Starks may be her greatest obstacle to uniting the Seven Kingdoms.

[tatiletotesamaze]

Benedicta

Long character development QA under cut.

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Yes - Rochester is her younger twin brother, so about half an hour. She’s not emotionally close to him, though they share a Force Bond (mostly one way.) Their older brother is Geoffrey. She’s not overly fond of him.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Sylvia is something of an adversary to Benedicta. She represents an ideal to Benedicta, though one that seems unachievable to her, whilst also seeming oddly un-Sith. Not to mention, being Sylvia’s only Force sensitive child, Beni had all of those hopes and trials heaped onto her and though there was affection there, it wasn’t the sort she wanted, or needed. As an adult she still tries to prove herself to her mother and feels resentful about this, a resentment she projects onto her mother, though she’d never dream of voicing it.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Sees him as an obstacle to her family’s social position (Sylvia is from old, aristocratic blood, her husband is a merchant, from upper middle class), an oaf and a bore. She also believes him to be weak willed and a poor example of Imperial spirit and mores, because of his hunger for profit and expanding his company. She is also aware of his early plans for her future: being married off in a power play. Usually that would be expected, if she were to have been married off to a fellow Sith, not a random Force blind child of a business partner. Thankfully Sylvia and her family put an end to that before it could go any further. The disgrace would have been unfathomable.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Her Force connection to Rochester means that she felt, in its raw emotional form, a part of the abuse he suffered during a pretty traumatic moment in his life. That itself was in its own way traumatising to her, as she wasn’t expecting it, felt the terror and the pain, and for a good while was frozen by it, unable to anything but be a mute witness to something happening star systems away. She throttled their connection on that day, hid it away and denied it. It has made her doubt her own emotions, her own thoughts, and doubt the integrity of the people around her. The threat of violence is visceral and real to her, where once it was simply existential, a possibility, not a probability. In a way it has made her almost nervous of meeting new people, interacting with others, especially those she doesn’t know or who haven’t been vouched for by someone she trusts. Also, Rochester has become a symbol of that threat of violence, and as with their mother, she projects her fear of the world onto him, in a form of disgust. But also she pities him, because she knows, deeply, what has happened to him. No one knows this though. She could never breathe a word of it, because to her it’s a weakness for the effect it has had on her mental state.

Her upcoming experiences - which I’m to write about soon, I promise - will change her attitude to power and responsibility. Her classism, her Sith ideals, her holding strength of the individual above all, will be tested for their merits when she has to lead a small group of Imperials, and decide the fate of a town on an Imperial held world. She will have to become a leader for the betterment of the Empire and she will have to learn what that means. Likely what she is at the moment will be found wanting and she will have to change.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Hair ties, handkerchief, keys.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Acceptance, home, loving, safety.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Desolation, abandonment, failure.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

No, those are for poor people. She uses a lightsaber. Her first target was a target dummy. Her first kill was when an official duel went awry and her opponent attempted to cheat with his own lightsaber and she turned it around on him. Her use of the Force in that fight led her down the path that in-game is essentially the Assassin.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

With the death of Ziost, the Empire’s grip over its worlds is faltering. A renewed (albeit scattered and not entirely unified) offensive from the Republic has weakened supply lines and wartime rationing is starting to come into effect. Luxuries you usually only need to buy once, but a scarcity of basic necessities is entirely new to her.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Depends on the situation, but the default is more clothing. If she’s in a sexual situation with a partner and she’s the only one wearing clothes, she’ll feel very awkward though.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Leaving her academy to study under her Great Grandmother, Darth Theli’a, at the Old Family House. The Old Family House is a sprawling estate and the bed of Darth Theli’a’s power and is staffed with many old and distinguished Sith. It’s an intimidating mix of heritage and expectations.

Thus far that’s the most scared she’s been.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Any of the physical exams at her academy - duels, drills, obstacle courses. When she practiced and trained she was driven, working herself into a frenzy of anticipation. Actually doing all of those things, the stress melted for a little while, only to flood back when she was alone. This being a learned mechanism for her emotions is not good when she starts to actually go out and do.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

No, not really.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Faces, names come later. Sometimes they come together. If it’s a famous Sith or Admiral she’ll have the name memorised but not the face.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Benedicta believes money is a thing that just happens. Unlike her brothers she doesn’t have to buy anything, she gets an allowance but not so much a wage. Managing an estate isn’t something she’s doing yet, and managing supplies is what you have workers for. Money is far more of an abstract concept to her.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Success. She believes it begets happiness.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

She had a doll she rarely played with, as she was had a lot of private tutoring as a child, Sylvia would make her practice forms, and then when her cousins were around they would all play in the grounds. The doll sat on her shelf. The doll was modelled on some old, famous Sith beauty. She represented a lot to young Beni.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition, but she’s learning wisdom is often the more useful trait.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Fear. It has destroyed her relationship with her twin, damaged her relationship with her mother, and made her irrevocably indifferent to her older brother and their father. Stubbornness comes in a close second.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

She compares her ability, her level of success, her connections… everything pretty much. She’s forever measuring herself against the facades others present, thinking them to be truths. It is very much a destructive act.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Deeply she will believe she deserved it, but will almost always blame another for causing the hurt.

What does your character like in other people?

Not so much obedience, as agreeability. She wants life to be easy, she doesn’t want to have the rough edges that come with actual relationships, because she’s scared of finding out people’s true natures (and in turn her own.) In a way she likes fakeness.

What does your character dislike in other people?

Everything that she is: fear, anxiety, stubbornness, abrasiveness...

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Slow. She’s apprehensive about the idea of trust itself but wants that connection to people.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Very quick. It makes it difficult for her to have relationships and she has never really become close to anyone. The closest person is her mother and that is still, on Beni’s side at least, strained, but not for want of trying on Sylvia’s part.

How does your character behave around children?

Baffled. She’s nervous because they are so much potential as a person, but they’re so weak objectively but can be so destructive.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Escalation! Anything can be dealt with by force, even if that force is indirect or by subterfuge.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Rather quick, as she likes to stamp out resistance swiftly, without a chance for retaliation.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

She wanted to be a powerful, strong, influence Sith! She’s a Sith at least.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Moist warm towels that just starting to get cold and they’re a little too wet so they only look moist but when you touch them water starts to pool out.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Practicing her lightsaber forms. Socialising at a cocktail party where no one knows her name and she’s met none of them before.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Family dinner night.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Beni gets highly defensive in the conversation, but later takes on the criticism - of course not in a healthy way at all - and pours a lot of her energy for the next week or so into overcoming whatever the “problem” is, if it’s something she feels is applicable, such as Sith or social mores for her class. If it’s not it broods on her until the next “unfixable” issue comes along.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Stubborn but temperamental, so she flip-flops between the two options, often giving up when perseverance would have helped and vice-versa. It’s a nightmare. And part of the reason why she’s struggling to rise to Lordship when she is her mother’s only heir.

How does your character behave around people they like?

Depends on the like. People she deeply respects and wants to impress, she’ll be unassuming and agreeable. People she wants to bed she’ll come across as rather… not strong, but straight-forward and willful. Friends? Stion’n is the closest thing she has to a long-term friend (Laertes as well), and they’re affable enough to each other, but they don’t talk about personal lives. Or at least Beni’s personal life - Stion’n is happy to air dirty laundry wherever, and for either sexual conquests are a fun, agreeable topic. When she’s chatting with Laertes it’s usually Sith stuff. Beni doesn’t much like to talk about herself.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

If she has the information, she favours cutting personal remarks. She likes to verbally tear someone down if she can and is not above goading someone into a fight, particularly if she’s sure she’ll win. If they’re above her in status or power, she is more likely to avoid them or be surly in their presence.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Status first, honour second. Status affords a certain amount of reputation, honour does not afford status.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Remove if it can be removed, leave if it can’t.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? No, she doesn’t tend to mess with animals. Did once see a school chum get bitten by a horse (or whatever is the GFFA equivalent). It was funny.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Utter indifference. Something goes wrong, address their superior. They’re so far beneath her that getting worked up over any slight on their part would be a display of contemptible weakness on her part.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

She’ll act as if she deserves it, in order to convince herself and others that that’s how the world is, but again she has a somewhat self-destructive drive of earning things. I think she’s obsessed by perfection but paralyzed by the idea she will fail to obtain it.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

No… Sylvia’s family tree is quite vast, and going into Darth Theli’a’s estate means that most of the people there are related in some way or other.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Sana is distantly related, to the point where she might well not be. The crew of the Fading Sun would also count as dependents in this case, as she is for better or worse put in charge of them.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

The words have never left her lips.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

She has no idea. She is aware of Force ghosts but the idea of being forever trapped to some place or object is horrifying, but the alternative (the Jedi idea of becoming one with the Force likely does not exist within the Empire and Sith, for it is Jedi and therefore wrong and an evil, but if she were it would be as the destruction of the self into a collective, which would be an anathema to her as bad as being a Sith ghost) is end, and that is just as bad.

[cannonkurosawa-blog]

Here’s the 45 Questions

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Her adopted older sister Yelena, who [trains noises], is a year older than her. Kazuko considers Yelena to be her role model, even though she surpassed her in under a year of working for the Kurosawas. She also has a younger half-brother named Jurou who she’s funding on his way through art school. They used to be really close, but since they never see each other, they’ve grown distant. Kazuko still thinks of him as her responsibility though and considers herself closer to being his mom than their real mom. She’s closer to Yelena.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Oh boy. Not good. The fact her real mom (Hana Kagami) is dating her fake mom (Darya Kurosawa) on and off makes her SUPER uncomfortable. Kazuko grew up as a latchkey kid, and from the time she was old enough to make food, it was her job to take care of the family. Growing up, she did everything she could to pretend that this was normal and that it didn’t bother her, but she developped into a very jaded woman. Her relationship with her fake mom is very businesslike. Darya scares Kazuko more than anyone, but she respects her. So, for short, she has mother issues.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Kazuko has no clue who her father is, nor does anyone else. Kanon’s father also has no clue who Kazuko is half the time, since he can’t tell the difference between her and Kanon, or any other black haired girl their age.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Yep. And no, not even Kanon. Some things you never speak about.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

A small notebook, a lighter, a pack of cigarettes, a cellphone, a baggy of cat treats, and a lot of scrap paper she just shoved in there when she saw it on the ground. No writing tools though, she always loses them.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Cuddling with Kanon has been the dream that’s kept her going since she got to Praetis. Just, long lazy days where they lay about and nap. She dreams quite frequently about food, especially going outside and having a nice picnic. In her normal dream, mazes are a common theme, and often times dancing is involved. Movement is more prominent than language in all of Kazuko’s dreams.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Laying on the ground, being unable to move as everyone rushes around her is probably the worst one. In many of her nightmares, she never moves once and is just forced to watch whatever is going to happen. It’s not even always bad things. It can be good things, but she’d overcome by a fear that something will happen if she doesn’t get moving. Though they aren’t nightmares until after she wakes up, she frequently has dreams where she’s just Kanon.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Yes. Her first target was a failing report card that she and Kanon taped to the wall. They got in huge trouble for that.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Yes and no. She doesn’t want for money, but also owns none herself. Everything is handled for her, but she’s in a rather risky situation. If she ever needs something, her employers could simply refuse to give it to her and she can do nothing about it.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Kazuko actually really favours revealing outfits that make Kanon uncomfortable so they compromise (aka, they wear what Kanon wants because Kazuko would wear jantie and tank top equivalents everyday if she could).

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

After [train noises].

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Just before calling Sosuke so she could kill him. It was not a good calm. She felt completely disconnected from the world and was completely unable to understand why this might be a bad idea.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Nope. She’s pretty used to it.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Faces. Names confuse her. There are three people who are named basically the same thing here.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Extremely! Kazuko is super scared of getting in debt.  If you give her money, she never spends it for fear of being unable to control herself and getting into debt. Better to own nothing than to owe something.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness, success is meaningless to her.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

A plush cat that one of her neighbours gave her as a cat.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Wisdom.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Kazuko is completely convinced her life is meaningless, and as such, she’s super reckless. This makes nobody happy, especially Kanon. It hasn’t ruined any relationships yet, but she knows eventually people will get tired of her being such a downer.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Like, in every way. Kazuko doesn’t think of herself as much a person, so she sews together a persona for herself based on the traits of other people. It’s basically the “making people like me” personality quilt. The more she sees of other people, the more she hates herself. Watching people and their fulfillment only makes her feel more hollow.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Kazuko knows things just happen something. Doesn’t stop her from endlessly wondering how she could have stopped it. She’s aware, even if you do everything right, you can still fail, so every mistake is that much worse.

What does your character like in other people?

A little bit of everything, really. Kazuko admires dedication to just about anything. Be it a talent or a person, she just loves it. If you value friendship, Kazuko is almost always on your side. She also really likes people with talents similar to her’s (earning even people she claims to dislike a lot of respect). She’s drawn to chaotic neutral people. Stirring up some trouble is always fun, but nothing too evil. If you’re protective of your friends and family, she is very likely to like you.

What does your character dislike in other people?

She hates flighty people who can’t commit to anything. Anyone who values themselves over their friends sucks. If you have ever insulted an animal, she hates you. Also, if you waste money, she gets irritated with you. Repressing your emotions and not emoting regularly makes her mega uncomfortable.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

It can happen slow, or it can happen fast. Which ever way, she trusts far too much and far too easily.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

She’s paranoid, but if she trusts you, she will never ever suspect you, right down to the very last minute. Even if she catches you with the murder weapon, she’ll just deny it. Kazuko is weirdly trusting for someone so paranoid.

How does your character behave around children?

Surprisingly, she’s got a lot of maternal instinct. She tends to spoil kids though, as she can’t resist pretty much any demand they make of her, as long as it’s not risky. She draws the line at risk. Kazuko is quite protective after all.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

She basically throws a fit. Kazuko s pretty good at faking confrontation as Kanon, but real confrontation causes her to kind of lose her cool. A lot. Like, she’s trying to funnel a fire hose worth of emotion through a keyhole. The Kanon disguise is not nearly expressive enough to get her point across.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Pretty slow. Kazuko is not a very violent person, however, when she is violent, she goes overboard. [gestures to case 7]

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

As a child, she dreamed of growing up, walking out of her house one day and just disappearing. A life with no obligations or true identity seemed like a dream to her then. I guess you could say she’s living the dream. :3

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Russian food! Also, pretty much any kind of gambling or wasteful spending. Also people who would sacrifice their friends to protect themselves. Also bugs and plastic surgery. Top of the list is loan sharks, though.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

KKCD, Kanon-Kazuko Cuddle Days. After a long day or a long separation, they just spend a day lounging around and listening to music. Kazuko generally ends up laying in Kanon’s lap while she brushes her hair for her. They spend the day catching each other up on their lives and syncing up. In that moment, there’s very little divide between the two of them. It’s like they can both just disappearing. They normally end up so emotionally drained by this, though, that they skip out on work or school the next day and sleep in. This is when Kazuko is at her happiest.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

For days, and even weeks at a time, Kazuko forgets about herself. She ends up thinking she’s Kanon for a while. It hurts the worst that nobody notices that she’s forgotten, that she wasn’t acting strangely. It makes her sad how happy she was.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Honestly, if you insult her, she’ll probably help you find new things to insult.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Kazuko is nothing if not stubborn. She’s likely try the same things three or four times before trying something different. She’s not very good at doing things if she’s not following someone’s example, so changing up can be very difficult for her.

How does your character behave around people they like?

She turns up the sweetness like a hundred fold. She’s also very cuddly, especially with friends. A good sign she likes you is that she starts to pick up your mannerism. Basically, if you ask something of her, she will always accept. She has no self-control.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

She’s cold and distant. Somethings she’ll play cruel pranks on them and leave gross things outside their door.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Neither, honestly. It I had to pick on, I’d say status. She doesn’t want to have to leave Kanon’s side.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

[looks to Sosuke] I’d say remove the threat.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

This happens to her a lot. She’s most likely to apologize to the animal. Surely they don’t bite without a reason.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Kanon treats them horribly, meaning that Kazuko has to be super nice when she’s not pretending to be Kanon to make up for how much of a jerk she is the rest of the time.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Everything in life must be earned.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Yes

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

[looks to real Kanon] Yep

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

It’s hard, but once it starts, it never stops. Kazuko can say anything without meaning, but she wouldn’t do it unless she had to.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Alright, flat out. Kazuko believes in ghosts. She thinks if enough people knew and loved you in life, you’ll be a ghost until everyone who knew you is dead as well. As such, she’s also afraid of ghosts and really doesn’t want to piss them off. As for fear she is terrified of disappearing, but not of dying.

[lizbian]

for the meme: all of the applicable ones for Verity, Georg, and Vita

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Verity doesn’t really have any close-by in years siblings. The next oldest is Finnegan, who’s some five years older than they, and the next youngest is Tenny, who’s near ten years younger than they. They consider themselves closest to Tenny - they have always considered themselves the least honorable sibling, but she’s never seemed to mind.

Georg has numerous ‘siblings’ who are around their age - they wouldn’t consider any particularly close to them, though, except perhaps David. David was nearly acceptable as a person... Well, by the standards of George’s dhampir siblings.

Vita has no true siblings or family, but she considers Alexis a brother figure. 

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Verity was close to their mother. She adored all her children, and made sure despite their lacking of magic, that they did not go overlooked, as many parents might have. They were a shy child, and so always hid in her skirts.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

George despised their father - though only after they obtained the ability to understand his innate evil.  Before that, George strove to impress him at every turn - and always fell short.

Verity, while very warm to their father, was somewhat embarrassed to be seen around him - they considered themselves a fluke in a bloodline of powerful mages, and thus something that was best hid.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Georg is an immensely mutable character, but saying more would be spoilers, same with Vita. And for Verity, there is the manner of their grove catching fire.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Vita carries little - spare medicine for Alexis, mostly, a few gold.

Verity carries all their worldly possessions - not that they’ve much, and sometimes keratin treatments for their antlers.

Georg carries spell components, spare food, and a few carpentry tools.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

George does. Their friends.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Verity constantly has nightmares involving fire motifs.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

N/A

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Right now, Verity is mostly penniless, having grown up quite well-off. 

George is also penniless, and they grew up surrounded by vampiric lavishness.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

George would be comfortable with either, if they were clothes they had chosen for themselves. 

Vita is most comfortable moderately clothed.

Verity is just constantly wearing assless chaps and a tunic.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Verity was most afraid during their trial. They knew that the courts would have no sympathy for a tiefling. They were right. 

George is most scared in Thuvia, currently. Now, unlike every point before now, over the course of their whole life, they know have something to lose.

Vita was most afraid when Bivir was hospitalized due to unintended consequences from her hasty actions. 

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Verity is the most calm they’ve ever been while they’re self-medicating with weed. Which is near-constantly.

George is the calmest they’ve ever been surrounded by friends, cozy in a blanket pile.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Georg is very bothered by the sight, scent and presence of blood. Mostly because it forces them to confront the vampiric portion of their nature. 

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Vita records data on both quickly and efficiently. 

Georg is more of a faces/scent sort, but Verity relies on names.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

George is very much not preoccupied with money - they’ve tended to find money to be more of a curse than a boon in most situations - if they are tempted to spend it, they are drawn to settlements, and that is always a risk for them.

Verity has little interest in money for themselves - they are more interested with what the coin they slowly gather will do for others.

Vita’s mind is constantly on magic.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Vita prioritizes success.

Verity prioritizes happiness.

Georg assumes they are synonymous.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Verity was never a toys sort, but they liked having a tiny garden.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Vita is ambitious, and thus admires ambition.

Verity puts emphasis on wisdom.

Georg doesn’t admire either - they prefer sincerity.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Verity is hard to reach emotionally, preferring to repress anything uncomfortable, and in the past, they’ve not been incredibly touchy-feeling, which has definitely broken some of the relationships they’ve had. 

Georg’s never had a relationship before - and their biggest problem is verbalizing emotion.

Vita’s biggest problem is that she is willing to go places which most wouldn’t for those she feels a bond to - and such sacrifices might scare the faint-hearted away.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

George is constantly self-criticizing. They compare their humanity to others constantly, as well as their skills.

Verity only compares themselves to one person - Lianthorn Liadi, the archdruid of their circle. They consider Lianthorn to be much, much like themselves, but better in every conceivable way. More attractive, better spoken, better put-together, better druid, better wildshaper, more organized... The list goes on. They do not think highly of themselves when Lianthorn is also on their mind. 

Vita compares herself to others to drive her. If someone isn’t motivated, and she is, then she must be motivated enough for two.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Verity believes external circumstance to be more the flaw. 

Vita knows if it was the result of her actions or not, and behaves accordingly.

George just assumes theres little good fortune in this world.

What does your character like in other people?

Vita likes warmth and openness.

George likes cleverness and tenacity, but appreciates physical attributes as well.

Verity appreciates gentleness and softness above all else.

What does your character dislike in other people?

Verity most dislikes hastiness.

George’s least favorite attribute is judgement.

Vita dislikes wastefulness.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Prove that you would trust Georg. They’ll trust you.

Vita is slow to trust.

Verity is moderately slow. 

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

George would never think a friend guilty, but if they weren’t a friend....

Vita is so used to her friends being sneaky, she’ll suspect her friends of causing trouble first. Strangers are also sneaky.

Verity would trust their gut.

How does your character behave around children?

Verity adores children, and will do anything in their power to bring a child any amount of joy. They hope to be a parent one day. 

George generally avoids them. They’d be shocked to not be a terrible influence just by being in their periphery.

Vita is indifferent.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Verity would prefer to avoid it, but if they cannot avoid it, they will stand their ground, steadfast.

George bows their head at the first sign of it.

Vita comes out, teeth metaphorically bared.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

All three would be very hesitant for different reasons. Verity despises violence and blood. George despises their nature and refuses to entertain it’s innate preference for brutality. Vita couldn’t confront someone violently without revealing the nature of her magic.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

George had no dreams or expectations.

Verity wanted to have a happy family. Which hasn’t happened.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Verity is most disgusted by themselves. They find themselves pathetic in every conceivable way.

George is repulsed by their instincts.

Vita is indifferent to most things, except mucking out horses.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Georg is most comfortable when cozy with friends, a little wine in their belly, surrounded by the people they love most.

Verity is at their calmest meditating and performing religious contemplation in solitude, unharmed by anything from the world outside..

Vita is calmest when reading.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Verity is panicked in crowds, or in sight of a fireplace or wild fire or fire magic.

Georg is uncomfortable around strangers.

Vita is uncomfortable when everyone else sleeps, and she is awake and alone.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Verity would be quietly self-depreciating. They don’t have much in the way of a backbone.

Vita would be stalwart, but would think it over in solitude.

Georg would listen and work on it.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Vita would find a new solution.

Verity’s not incredibly creative - when they have a hammer, they will force it to work, or at least try.

Georg would spend time brainstorming until they came up with something better.

How does your character behave around people they like? 

Georg is rather catlike - content to just be by their side, closing their eyes and practically purring.

Vita will quietly radiate fondness - and do whatever she can to support them.

Verity, recently, has discovered within themselves a tactile need they haven’t yet much entertained. They will seek out their touch - which is the ultimate form of fondness and (especially) trust, coming from them.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Vita will seek excuses to go into power-saving mode.

Verity would be cold to them, making it clear they are prioritizing others. The highest form of insult they know is to prioritize themselves over another.

George would escape by disappearing.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

George is unconcerned. They have neither.

Verity is concerned about neither - more concerned by their family’s honor, really.

Vita doesn’t care about either - she’s got simple priorities, and being concerned about either would only hold her back.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

George would remove themselves, Vita and Verity would remove the problem.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Georg was not happy, but not incredibly affected. But being bitten by horses does hurt.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Vita would be neutral. 

Verity would leave a large tip.

George wouldn’t have anything spare to give, but they’d make sure to leave glowing recommendations to any servers they liked. 

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

George definitely feels that way. Verity believes the universe to be entirely arbitrary. Vita believes one’s fortunes to be self-made.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

N/A

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

...George’s eidolon, though that’s more codependent.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Verity would find it impossible to say, but easy to express.

George would find it difficult to face, hard to express, but easier to say and mean.

Vita both says it and demonstrates it.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Verity wishes for nothing to happen. Joining the void is preferable to them - any form of afterlife or reincarnation would be forcing them to spend more time with someone they couldn’t bear.

Georg doesn’t know what to believe - but they are fairly certain there isn’t a true afterlife for undead. That makes them fear death. Especially now, that it means they will be eternally separated from those they’ve come to love.

Vita knows exactly where her soul will go when she dies, and she knows her body will carry on. That’s all she needs to keep going.

[zapgraptrash]

for the hardmode development questions: Grappler, Slyger, and Sazabi and/or Madnug. GO

i know u mean all 45 questions for all of them and i’m SO MAD AT YOU but i will DO THEM ALL REGARDLESS

i’ll do grappler for this post

1) Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?his sister is 2 years younger than him and she was in fact the family member he was closest to. i haven’t actually thought much about his extended family but i just decided his sister would be the only one close to his age anyway

2) What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?his sister was a lot closer to their mum than he was. he always felt like his mum was vaguely disappointed with him and there was definitely some distance between them

3) What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?see above but instead of vague it’s glaringly obvious that his dad was disappointed with him. and once grappler started showing “signs” of not being Straight, his dad got a lot more vocal and and angry about it. his dad was also one of those guys who had his own insecurities and would take them out on his family and grappler was on the receiving end of that a lot so it was like… constant arguing and yelling

4) Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?probably watching his two best friends slowly die. zapper, slyger, dom and likely granox will end up knowing about this.

5) On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?at least one condom and a tiny fuckin thing of lube because “you never know”. when he’s dating zapper, zapper will point out it’s dumb at any chance he gets like “GRAPPLER WE ARE NEVER GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY BONE OUTSIDE.” “but you don’t KNOW that” “YES I DO!!!”

6) Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?he doesn’t remember his dreams very often so.

7) Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?see above

8) Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?everyone in the platinum army gets trained to fire guns obviously and all the grunts and lieutenants have to use them. once you get to be a squadron leader you can more or less do what you want and grappler mostly uses stuff like swords and his claw arm because he was never that great at using guns and he prefers to get close up to wreck shit

9) Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?sanctuary’s wage system is like. there are only 4 pay grades and they are dependent on rank rather than job so there’s not a huge amount of class difference. when he was growing up grappler was kinda average middle class

10) Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?since he is now at a point where his body doesn’t feel goddamn alien to him he has almost no problem with wearing less clothing these days.

11) In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?either the time when a former “friend” tried to kill him or the time when he got his arm bitten off.

12) In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?maybe the first time he and zapper decided to not play up the “i h8 you” charade and just fuckin be with each other

13) Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?not even a little bit

14) Does your character remember names or faces easier?faces, he doesn’t even bother with names a lot of the time

15) Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?he likes to have Nice Things. maybe there’s a deeper meaning behind this but i can’t think of it right now asdfghj

16) Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?they’re kind of the same thing to him.

17) What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?not technically toys, but he’s had his own vinyl records and cassettes since he was ~7 so, those. people used to get him too many obviously Girly toys which he never liked anyway.

18) Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?probably wisdom because ambition is more threatening especially when the other person is like him (slyger.)

19) What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?not even fuckin trying to keep/make friends. he was like that as a kid and then there was a brief time when he DID have friends but they all either died or deserted him so he became really closed off again.

20) In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?outwardly he likes to think he’s better than everyone else but really he’s super self critical, but mostly about appearance. during the story he does come to realise he’s a dickhead and needs to work on /that/ too though.

21) If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?he will blame other people.

22) What does your character like in other people?he’ll never admit it but he admires people who are straight out nice to other people and as such have people be nice to THEM too.

23) What does your character dislike in other people?arrogance, being over-dramatic, attention-seeking, basically most traits he has himself lol

24) How quick is your character to trust someone else?Nobody Can Be Trusted

25) How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?he doesn’t give people the chance to do anything to be suspected of. like he will just get what he wants from them and immediately bail

26) How does your character behave around children?either “ew” or will just mess with them for shits and giggles

27) How does your character normally deal with confrontation?he will have the last word or die trying

28) How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?he prefers to insult people but he’s not above cutting someone

29) What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?he wanted to be lead singer in a glam band lmao. (no it did not come true)

30) What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?slyger lmao but not reallyI JUST ASKED BOXY FOR SOMETHING AND SHE SAID BAD SHOES AND DAY OLD POPCORN AND THAT ABSOLUTELY WORKS SO YES.

31) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.sitting around with friends (SUPPOSING HE HAS ANY but during trashland’s story he does gain some) just chilling and drinking and maybe watching some bad movies

32) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.during that period after banging a randomer and you’re not entirely sure when it’s acceptable to leave….. and they invite him to stay longer and do somethin else

33) In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?defensive as hell

34) Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?he will try something else

35) How does your character behave around people they like?annoy them at every opportunity

36) How does your character behave around people they dislike?annoy them at every opportunity but a lot meaner

37) Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?protecting his status.

38) Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?removing himself implies the problem wins so he removes the problem

39) Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?THIS IS HOW HE LOST HIS ARM some big alien thing (which i have yet to design but it’s probably gonna be vaguely similar to a large cat) attacked him and straight up bit it off. and u can imagine how losing half an arm would affect someone right. though he actually doesn’t mind jokes about it (unlike zapper who will kill anyone for joking about his eye.)

40) How does your character treat people in service jobs?about what you’d expect for a middle class person born in 1970. maybe not quite that bad but he could definitely be nicer.

41) Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?he feels like he deserves most things he wants especially because he Did His Suffering Already.

42) Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?no but the two best friends he had while he lived in LA were like older siblings to him

43) Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?not entirely dependent but since he IS a squadron leader and has to manage a load of grunts, i guess they somewhat count

44) How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?SUPER FUCKING DIFFICULT he feels like if he says it even when he does mean it it will sound forced or insincere.

45) What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?he believes nothing happens and then people forget you which does in fact scare the shit out of him.

[cchie]

Vivienne Vitale (Shi) Questionnaire

does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? which one are they closest with?      Vivi is an only child. While she was a toddler, she wanted a younger sibling. However, as she grew older, she was extremely satisfied being an only child.

what is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?      Vivi and her mother get along great. Her mother was almost always working and Vivi had always wanted to help. After all, her mother’s job was part of the reason behind her Ultimate Ability.

what is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?      Her father often makes a lot of dad jokes, but they are greatly appreciated by Vivi. Part of her punny humor was inherited by him, in fact.

has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? if so, does anyone else know?      When she was a child and found the dead body in the park, it had completely changed the way she viewed death. She was absolutely fascinated by it and wanted to learn more. 

on an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?      She usually carries around her keys, wallet, perfume, chapstick, makeup, and embalming fluid.

does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?      She mainly has dreams about being revered and admired from all around. People give her flowers, give her jewels, and so on and so forth.

does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?      She has nightmares where she can feel pain, but only for a moment. And it is so goddamn painful, she feels lucky for just a few moments that she has congenital analgesia.

has your character ever fired a gun? if so, what was their first target?      Yes. Her mother took her to the shooting range a few times when she was younger to help teach her self defense. “Sometimes, only a bullet can stop somebody,” her mother would say, “Not even their own morals or humanity can stop them.”

is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?      Not at all. Vivi’s parents were middle to high class and she’s still in that range. She lives quite nicely.

does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?      Vivienne is comfortable in absolutely any amount fo clothing. She does prefer less clothing, but her profession requires her to wear a conservative amount of clothing.

in what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?      Shi was the most afraid during her execution. If the morphogenetic field did exist, then everything she’s based her life around has been a lie. And if it didn’t exist, she would not get another shot to live her life and be as successful as she would like.

in what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?      Always performing autopsies and dressing the bodies. Seeing somebody who’s soul and mind no longer exist, who’s energy has come to a complete stop, helps her.

is your character bothered by the sight of blood? if so, in what way?      She is so laughably unaffected by the sight of blood that she’s actually kind of fascinated by it. Even when she bleeds, she never really notices it due to her condition. Somebody must point it out to her, and she is clueless. That only makes her a slight bit scarier than she already is.

does your character remember names or faces easier?      She remembers names better and will often confuse people. i.e. Fujita and Hawkbit

is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? why or why not?      Yes. Vivienne loves making money and owning material possessions. It makes her feel confident and deserving. And most of all, powerful.

which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?      She idealizes success more. While she loves being happy, she would rather have the recognition.

what was your character’s favorite toy as a child?      Her Operation game. She would intentionally touch the sides of the metal to buzz her so she could feel the shock sensation, but never any pain.

is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?   She admires wisdom, surprisingly. Although Vivi does admire ambition, she belives that life is pointless and we all die in the end anyways, so you might as well die learning as much about life and the world as you can.

what is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?      Vivi isn’t very empathetic nor can she feel pain, so she doesn’t really get it. She’s odd and boisterous and can drive people away by how eerily calm she is about death and her nihilsm. This has ruined a few potential friendships she had tried to blossom.

in what ways does your character compare themselves to others? do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?      She’s pretty vain and does it for the self-validation. Vivi thinks very highly of herself and often finds herself judging people on a scale of 1 to Vivi and if they happen to rate above herself or equal to herself, she tries to be friends with them.

if something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?      If something tragic were to happen to her, she would probably blame whatever were the cause of it. She doesn’t believe in fate or divine intervention. Her view is just that shit happens.

what does your character like in other people?      She likes their knowledge, uniquity, and appearances. If they are rather smart, she’s more likely to bond with them and respect them. If they are strange or different, she takes an immediate interest. If they are aesthetically pleasing to her, she will try and make a connection. She also greatly admires people with a sense of adventure and mutual interests. (i.e. Queen fit all of these categories)

what does your character dislike in other people?      She dislikes highly religious people and people who can’t take a joke. She also doesn’t like when people chew with their mouth open. Another pet peeve of hers is people who believe in the paranormal (i.e. Athens).

how quick is your character to trust someone else?      Not really at all. She has to get to know them and assess and analyze their personalities and actions to come to a conclusion as to if she can trust them or not. She knew she couldn’t trust Queen but she did trust Justice.

how quick is your character to suspect someone else? does this change if they are close with that person?      Vivi is moderately quick to suspect. She tries to come to a logical conclusion about that person and if their actions and reactions line up with the possibility of the suspicion. If it’s some she’s close with, she still remains objective but doesn’t look quite as hard.

how does your character behave around children?      Vivi has no idea how to behave around children. She has learned that it’s not really socially acceptable to discuss the concept of death and nihilism with them and she finds how annoying children can be. She admires their curiosity and wonder but finds them incredibly unsatisfying due to how little they know and can do.

how does your character normally deal with confrontation?      She will straight up discuss it with them. She’s not one for tact or subtlety. 

how quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?      Vivi is usually slow to violence. She doesn’t like being violent unless it’s necessary. However, she absolutely would resort to violence and has.

what did your character dream of being or doing as a child? did that dream come true?      Originally she wanted to be just like her mother and be a detective. She wanted to major in Criminal Justice but had a change of plans once she discovered the dead body in the park. That’s when she just knew she had to be a mortician.

what does your character find repulsive or disgusting?      She finds older men preying on younger girls disgusting. Also people who abuse others or people who chew with their mouth open.

describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.      content warning: autopsy scene      “And let me hit him in his back, Frank White needs to get spanked right, for setting traps, little accident murderers,” the young woman rapped as she took the sheet off of the body and inspected it closely.       Her blue eyes scanned for any bruising, fingerprints, unusual marks. As she scanned, she recorded on her chart the victim’s name, height, age, etc. “Tsk tsk, I bet she was beautiful when she was alive, but she sure looks more peaceful now, I bet,” she muttered, pen between her teeth.      Not noticing anything out of the ordinary besides a few bruises, she conducted an X-ray on the entire body, you should never neglect the dental bits.        She continued to hum along to 2Pac’s “Hit ‘Em Up” as she took blood samples and slid her scalpel down the body. She breathed a sigh of relief. Some blood seeped out, but never spillng like blood did when you were alive. After all, if you’re dead, your heart stops and can’t actively pump blood out as it does when you’re alive.      As she finished the autopsy, she smiled.    

describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.      “Okay but the morphogenetic field allows us to transfer our consciousness, essentially!” Mills spouted excitedly.     “Okay, I’m sorry but like, what did you just say about that ‘morphobanana field’?” Shi said, confused.      “Oh, sure. So with espers, they can transfer their consciousness, when they die, thanks to the morphogenetic field, which takes them to another timeline. So essentially, you could start over!” he grinned excitedly.      Shi’s brows furrowed. “Uh, no? When you die, you die. That’s it. It’s not possible for something to happen to you after you die. I would know, I like, you know, work with death.”      Mills giggled. “Shi, you’re funny. I know this might be a shock to you and like it doesn’t seem real, but I assure you it absolutely is.”      Shi shook her head. Mills was the Ultimate Academic Prodigy and she respected his knowledge. He wouldn’t lie to her, that just wasn’t in his nature. And he was an incredibly intelligent boy.      What the fuck is happening, Shi thought. How can everything I have learned and lived for just been shit on by this theory???      Shi sat there. When you die you die, and that’s a lie. She had to re-shape her whole way of thinking and her view on life. And that she was not happy about.

in the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?     Vivi can be very self-defensive only because she thinks very highly of herself. After initially being defensive, however, she will reflect on the criticism and assess herself to determine if the criticism is legit or not.

is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?      She will immediately move onto a different solution or method. Obviously if it didn’t work the first time, why would you ever try that again?

how does your character behave around people they like?      She cracks jokes and gets in ther face and is touchy feely. She’ll show you respect and be more hospitable to you. She won’t mind sharing with you or hanging out with you.

how does your character behave around people they dislike?      Vivienne will usually be very blunt when it comes to that. She isn’t afraid to call people out or outright say she doesn’t like them.

is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?      Shi is more concerned with protecting her status if she had to pick from the two. 

is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?      She is more likely to remove herself from that threat. She doesn’t need drama or her life to end earlier. However, if it was life threatening, she wouldn’t hesitate to end the issue.

has your character ever been bitten by an animal? how were they affected (or unaffected)?      Animals usually tend to take a liking to Vivi, oddly enough. She’s never been bit by an animal. Even if she was, she couldn’t feel it which could potentially be dangerous.

how does your character treat people in service jobs?      Completely objectively. If they do well, she tips nicely. If they don’t do well, she still tips, but not as greatly.

does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?      Vivienne feels that she deserves to have what she wants. She’s the Ultimate Mortician, after all. She can’t feel pain. She works hard and is good at what she does. Why shouldn’t she get what she wants?

has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?      Nope. She just had her parents which she got along great with.

has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?      Nah. Vivi doesn’t like too many people. However, she did become close with Effy during the Nonary Games and often acted as a sister or mother towards her.

how easy or difficult is it for your character to say “i love you?” can they say it without meaning it?      It’s pretty hard for her to say it seriously. She doesn’t feel any romantic attraction.

what does your character believe will happen to them after they die? does this belief scare them?      Originally, she had believed that once you died, you died and that was that. No afterlife, no nothing. You just simply stopped existing. However, after learning about the morphogenetic field, she learned that your consciousness would transfer. The morphogenetic field terrifies her because it conflicts with everything she’s ever believed.

[dreamin-of-somewhere-else]

Little Sister [7]

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, de aged!sister!reader, Jessica Moore

Words: 2618

[A bit of angst]

A/N: If you want to listen to what I listened to while writing this, check this out: Hunting Happiness. Also, hit me up if you want to be tagged in the next (and last!) part of Little Sister.

Tags: @annabethgranger123

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A knocking echoed through the house, in the middle of the night, very similar to a few nights ago when you had been knocking on the door. Sam, who had been forewarned, was still awake and made now his way towards the door. He opened it to reveal his older brother, who he hadn’t seen in about four years.

Dean still looked the same. Broader shoulders perhaps. A more defined jaw, maybe. From what Sam could read from Dean’s stubble, he now had a better shot at a thicker, more even beard than before. His leather jacket a bit more worn. Otherwise, still the same. Which was a relief, Sam had to admit.

”Howdy.” Dean uttered, with a tone that Sam couldn’t quite interpret.

At least he wasn't angry; Sam had been anxious about that, scared that he was going to be angry.

”Hey, come inside.” Sam opened the door wider, Dean nodded and walked into the apartment.

The oldest Winchester looked around himself, inspecting the building that had been his younger brother’s home for the last four years. Sam was about to say something when he felt something brush against his hand, which caught him off guard. He stared downwards, where he spotted you, looking up at him with round eyes, as if to ask him to open up his hand. He did, and you placed yours in his much larger one. You felt a lot safer, but still hid a bit behind Sam’s legs, gazing at Dean’s leather dressed back, you hadn’t quite recognized him yet.

Dean was alerted by the shuffling, however, and turned around. He was met by a sight that made his heart clench so much it hurt. There were his twin siblings. One of them stood at 6’4 and the other one, slightly hiding behind his leg, only at the mere height of 3’3. He knew you always were a small kid when you grew up. You and Sam both, he and John realized that when every piece of Dean’s clothing, that he wore at the same age and you were supposed to inherit, were too big. But he hardly remembered you ever being this small, you didn’t even reach Sammy’s waist. You looked so small and vulnerable. And it just felt so wrong.

Dean was a bit lost for words, but found himself uttering your name.

”(Y/N)…?”

A grin spread across your little face, and your eyes regained their familiar, soulful tinkle.

”It’s okay, (Y/N), it’s just Dean.” Sam stated, as he gave you a slight, encouraging push in his direction.

It was enough for you to leave Sam’s side. Dean bent down, just in time to open his arms before you flung yourself at him.

”Dean-o!” You giggled, your short arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

”Whoa, easy there, tiger.” Dean chuckled lightly, as he was a bit taken back by your attack-hug.

”I missed you.” You uttered in your squeaky voice.

”I missed you too, (Y/N).” Dean instantly replied, not doubting his words a second.

Then it was Sam’s turn to feel his heart clench. He could clearly see the bittersweet sorrow in Dean’s green eyes as he absentmindedly stared at the floor somewhere in between where he and you were hugging, and Sam’s feet. It just was something tragically beautiful over the whole situation. It was sad and scary but at the same time; you were heart wrenchingly cute and loving. And happy, but so, so defenseless. And now also de-aging further. Sam saw how Dean gently placed his gigantic hand in comparison, on the back of your head as he held you close. Then, he looked up at Sam, and all the previous tension was gone with the wind.

Dean now looked emotional and a little bit vulnerable himself, as he was holding you in his arms, which felt weird for Sam. It wasn’t often he saw this side of Dean, especially now when he hadn’t seen any side of Dean for so long. The sight made Sam wanted to run the few steps towards his twin sister and older brother, and wrap his arms around them both, engulfing them in a comforting group hug. But he didn’t really dare to.

It didn’t take long for you to curl up and fall asleep again, now sleeping in Sam’s bed. Your brothers walked out into the living room, to go over the past few days. Dean walked first, and Sam was surprised to see him turning around and opening his arms, once he came to a stop.

Sam felt unsure at first, still fearing that Dean held a grudge. But then he gave in, because Dean looked exhausted and worried, but still happy to see his little brother. So, Sam walked into his hug, and wrapped his arms around Dean too. They hugged for a moment, and then patted each other on their backs before letting go.

”So…” Dean began, an invitation for Sam to tell him what he knew.

”Dean, it’s worse than I thought.” Sam said, his voice a little strained. ”I mean, I was concerned from the beginning, obviously, but then I realized something. Well, Jess did really. But, Dean, she’s getting younger.”

Dean’s eyebrows knitted over his eyes that flashed with worry.

”What do you mean?” He needed a bit more to go on.

”I mean, she said she was 5 when she arrived, but now… I don’t know Dean, she’s gotten about 3 inches and counting shorter in the same amount of days. She looks and behaves younger. And this is even after her realizing that she’s really supposed to be 22.”

”So she’s still her 22 year old self?”

”Yeah. She had a dream last night about how she went on a hunt to kill a witch nearby. One that was turning people into children.” Sam told him.

Dean shook his head to himself. You had told him that you were going to stop hunting. That was the one thing that he appreciated about you and Sam being at college. You were supposed to be safe. Safe and following your dreams. And then you go out on a hunt. Alone. Dean pushed the thoughts away, and concentrated on the more urgent problem — after he got you back to your right size and age, Dean could lecture you.

”So, judging by (Y/N) continuing to grow shorter than the kid already is, we can rule out the damn spell wearing off by itself.” Dean concluded, and Sam nodded in agreement.

A second of silence passed and Sam let out a trembling sigh. ”Dean, she has lost about a year in 3 freaking days. That means that in about two weeks…” Sam voices was too choked for him to continue. He didn’t want to continue either.

”I guess we gotta hurry up and get going then.” Dean stated, trying his best, and actually kind of succeeding, to sound collected, as if he had the situation under control.

Sam nodded. ”Not before saying goodbye to (Y/N) first.”

”Yeah, of course.”

Then, Sam and Dean both stalked into the bedroom, where Sam gently woke you from your sleep.

They found it harder than expected to say goodbye, as your eyes teared up and you just looked so immensely sad. Jess joined you and sat by your side, rubbing your back, as all three of the young adults tried to keep your tears from spilling over.

Sam picked you up, lifting you by putting his hands underneath your arms. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, and legs around his waist once you were in his embrace. Sam carefully combed your hair with his fingers, and held you close — so close — as if he wouldn’t get to see you again. He took in your scent and gently rocked you from side to side.

”Don’t worry (Y/N), we’ll only be gone for a little while.” Sam murmured. ”Shh… It’ll be fine, I promise.”

You nodded into his neck.

Then it was Dean’s turn to say goodbye to you. He didn’t really want to leave, he had just reunited with you for the first time in 4 years… and, well, he felt guilty for leaving you behind, even if it was for you he did it. However, he lifted you up too, and placed you on his hip.

”We’ll be back before you know it, tiger.” Dean comforted you. ”Now, be a good girl for Jess here, while we’re gone, would you?”

”Yes.” You responded, voice only above a whisper.

”That’s my girl.” Dean ruffled your hair, and you couldn’t help but to just smile a little bit.

”Bye.” You spoke once it was time for them to leave. ”I’ll miss you.”

Jess looked at you with warm eyes where you stood beside her by the kitchen counter on top of a chair. You were helping her making cookies at the moment, and you had cheered up a lot since Sam and Dean left.

She was never angry at you — she couldn’t ever — even if you had thought she’d been. However, you seemed to have forgotten that by now, and Jess wasn’t bringing it up again, in that case.

The blonde enjoyed spending time with you. She had never had a problem with kids, like most she liked them, but you had particularly left an impression on her. Even though she had fought with Sam — she had almost forgiven him by now — and even though you only met a few days ago, she still started to think of you as her own little sister. And she even let her mind travel to the thought of possibly meeting you as an adult, someone in her own age. Jess felt as she wouldn’t be surprised if you became friends. You really sounded like a great person, as a 22 year old too.

Right now she didn’t think to much of that though, and let herself enjoy the moment fully. You two were laughing, baking and dancing to the music from the radio, and Jess knew she wouldn’t mind at all having to baby sit you while your brothers were gone hunting that witch to try and kill her. Jess only worried about one thing, and that was your decreasing size.

Three days later, Dean parked the Impala outside of Sam’s apartment. Both of them were exhausted, muscles aching, but yet cheerful as they had succeeded in killing the witch. They were hopeful that you would be alright. And also, besides the worry for you, the two of them had actually had a good time, both realizing that they had missed each other. It had been like old times, although missing a member of the trio, but almost. However, when they had parked on the campus of Stanford, they were once again reminded that that wasn’t the case anymore. The illusion they had been living in for the last few days simply didn’t add up to the reality, and the atmosphere changed a little bit inside the car, becoming more serious.

”I should probably get inside.” Sam spoke, glancing at his brother with unsure eyes.

Dean slowly nodded. ”Yeah… Call me to let me know how it goes. Tell (Y/N) that I would like to chat with her once she’s, you know, back to normal. Do that for me, would ya?”

”Of course.” Sam reassured him, before opening the passenger door and stepping out, stretching his tall frame. Then he closed the door, and looked at Dean through the open car window. ”See you soon.”

”Yeah, see you.” Dean responded with a slight smirk. Then he put the car in reverse and backed out. Then he drove off.

Sam watched the black Impala disappearing behind buildings as the street turned. See you soon. It had kind of slipped out of him, but it felt much better than saying goodbye. After reuniting, Sam honestly wasn’t ready to let Dean go, or you either for that matter.

Thinking of you, Sam turned his heel and walked towards the front door of his home.

Entering the apartment, it was dark and quiet. It was in the middle of the night, and both Sam’s body and mind was exhausted. Although, he wasn’t letting himself go to be before checking up on you.

He found you at you usual spot, sleeping in the sofa-turned-bed, and his heart was wrenched. You were so small. You were only a toddler now. Your chubby, short arms were clutching a teddy bear that Jess must’ve gotten you while he was gone. He also noted that you were wearing a new pajamas, as the other one must’ve gotten too big. It was a good thing he and Dean got the witch when they did, because your time really was running out.

Sam’s heart ached when he saw your face, it was rounder, smaller and your cheeks were chubbier. And your expression, it seemed like you weren’t getting any peaceful sleep. Your voice, that had gotten even more high-pitched, mumbled something that he couldn’t understand, it wasn’t real words. Sam could only imagine the way you spoke now, 3 days later, how you probably couldn’t pronounce most of the words. How your sentences had shortened, and your vocabulary had reduced. You stirred in your sleep, your miniature hands clutching the teddy bear even tighter. Your hands were only the length from base to fingertips as one of Sam’s fingers. You probably couldn’t fit more than two of them in your hand. You were only 3 years old, down to 3 feet tall, 6 inches shorter than when you arrived. You probably weighed less then 30 pounds, being small for your age and all. You were so small that Sam’s stomach twisted. So adorable, yet so fragile. He wanted to wake you up and cuddle you into his chest, holding you close, so close, protecting you from everything the world decided to fling at you. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, comforting you, making you feel safe. But he didn’t because he knew that you needed your sleep.

And hopefully, you would return to your normal self soon, Sam couldn’t imagine it any other way, he and Dean had killed the witch. After one hell of a struggle, that is. Sam also noted the pile of folded clothes on top of the coffee table, for when you returned to adult size. Jess had done as he asked when he called to tell her that they were coming home. He recognized both top and bottoms, the jeans were Jess’s and the sweatshirt — it was the one you had arrived in, the one he used to share with you. The one with the flash logo on it.

Sam felt his eyes burning. It was because of the sorrow for you, fear of losing you, but then relief and hope. It was exhaustion and melancholy because he would miss child-you, but then happiness of getting the old you back, most likely. Sam never let the tears fall.

Instead he leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead, and you mumbled something else in your sleep. He didn’t really want to leave you, but he was about to fall asleep, and he knew that he couldn’t do anything else but wait from now on. So he wandered off in the direction of his bedroom, knowing that he’d probably have another nightmare of your continuing de-aging, just like the other nights. Or maybe he would have that other nightmare; the one including Jess. Although for the moment, this one about you scared him more because it was really happening.

[necromilk]

Oc hard mode, ulric - multiples of 3, xena - multiples of 4, modern urban fantasy hot snake hair dude - multiples of 2

SO MUCH!!!!

Ulric

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

hah if by father you mean the man who raised him, he was p much ignored save for the attention he would get when he dad could make money betting on him. as for his bio dad-the guy died before ulric was even born

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

a lot of stuff with self harm, drowning, his mother…

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

hmmm, when hes older and married, yes its a lot better than when he was younger/couch surfing when older

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

sleeping in the same bed with someone, doesnt even need to be sex, just having other person there with him is grounding

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

not at all with either, he didn’t really grow up with much so there wasn’t much to want or form attachments to as far as material things, and money isnt really something he ever concerns over

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

as somewhat of an ambitious person, he does admire wisdom as an extension of intelligence

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

he usually tends to blame himself, cuz he knows hes a huge fuckup

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

he is literally a dog and will trust anyone first unless they prove they are untrustworthy

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

will immediately apologize for whatever he did cuz he knows he likely did some shit

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

lmfao his face

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

when it comes to skills or practices, hes more willing to improve, but when it comes to his personal appearance, he gets self deprecating

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

ulric really tries to like everyone, he does, but there are some things he can’t agree with and he will still be civil and kind but will try to avoid them if he can

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

lmfao B)

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

his future husband’s father, yes

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

death is terrifying to him, so he always tries to live as much as he can–but he was never religious so he doesn’t think there is anything afterwards

Xena

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

maybe not witnessed but he was bullied alot growing up and it did make him a lot meeker, and his moms both knew he was being harassed and did try to help all they could

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

is very much a pacifist and wouldn’t touch a gun if he didn’t have to

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

probably when he is at home with his moms, spending time with them, baking or watching movies

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

to xena, happiness is life’s ultimate success

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

he doesn’t compare himself to others so much, he knows everyone is different but he can admire others for qualities he doesn’t have

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

is a bit more hesitant to trust someone, but can with a build up over time, but tends to trust fem-identified people more than the other side of the gender spectrum

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

literally not at all and would have a hard time fighting back if it ever did get physical

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

in any situation when hes in a place completely male populated

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

avoids them, a lot shyer or quiet if he has to converse w them

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

he is always polite but tries so hard to not be the awful customer usually

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

super hard and p much never does it ever, the only people he has ever said I love you to are his moms

Cobra King (aka hot snake man)

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

he is one of a lot of siblings, so his mother has only so much time to give each of her children, but she was his mother and he respected her as that authority in his life

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

when he was younger, no surprise that he probably witnessed someone he knew dying at the hands of a human, growing up learning to avoid them bc they were dangerous, seeing that only cemented those ideals

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

he doesn’t really dream much, but if he does its often dreaming of his childhood, when things were simpler

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

ofc, he is a cop but likely worked with guns before he became a cop, so it was likely someone he had a disagreement with and it escalated, but no one was hurt, likely just fired the gun to intimidate

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

he feels like he can blend in better with more clothes on, but prefers to wear less otherwise it starts to bother his skin after so long

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

probably just sleeping at home, bundled in blankets to keep warm

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

hes pretty good with names, since he always wears sunglasses, it makes the face thing a little more of a challenge

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

he believes success is the best way to happiness

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

more so ambition because it’s not really a trait he sees around much anymore

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

he doens’t compare himself to others, but if he does, its always to improve himself

What does your character like in other people?

he likes people who are firm in their beliefs, but can still admit when they’re wrong and keeping an open mind

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

he really has to know you and been through some shit to say that, its a pretty big deal to him

How does your character behave around children?

isn’t the most socially apt at dealing with kids, but obviously isn’t gonna be a dick

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

he tends to think more than act, so he would only resort to violence if it was necessary or in self-defense

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

lmao generally all mankind

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

stuck in some confined space with a human

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

if something doesn’t work the first time, there isn’t much sense in trying it again

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

is v much able to vocalize his dislike and has no shame in that and will not apologize for his opinions

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

depends on the situation, if its something universally threatening, he would remove it, but if it were more so a personal problem, he would just remove himself

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

he is technically in a service job, but it really depends on how people treat him first

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

hes had mentors over his many years of living that have helped better discover himself

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

its something he has never actually said before? maybe once to his mother, but king is the most affectionate or openly emotional person