#toxic masculinity is dead I dance now in season two

[feelingtheaster99]

I’m rewatching Fantasy High and Fabian’s responses to The Hangman during their season one interactions are some of my favorite moments:

“Yes, yes, in due time, Bike. Now, to the ice cream shoppe!”

“BIKE! Hangman! No! No, we don’t talk about women in that way! … but she is rather cute”

“Well, I mean just make sure on the yellows, like just push through.”

[ankh-morporkianpostalworker]

Fantasy High Sophomore Year and Positive Masculinity

In the Cinema Therapy video "Aragorn vs. TOXIC MASCULINITY", Alan Decker, a licensed therapist, uses Aragorn to give an example of "Positive Masculinity," highlighting traits like providing, protecting, being brave, being determined, being ambitious, being sensitive of others feelings and being supportive, among others. I believe that, if we use these patterns of behavior as indications of Positive Masculinity, then the male characters of the DnD actual play show "Dimension 20: Fantasy High" and especially its sequel show "Sophomore Year" and associated one shots, are amazing examples of Positive Masculinity, especially as the second season draws to a close.

Of course, the most famous example comes from the season two episode "Blast from the Passed," in which Lou Wilson's character Fabian Seacaster yells "TOXIC MASCULINITY IS DEAD! I DANCE NOW!", a moment funny out of context and touching in context, as by that point he truly has overcome his toxic tendencies. The midway point of Sophomore Year is a sort of breaking point for Fabian, as everything he believed about himself comes crashing down around him and he has to pick up the pieces with the help of his friends. His fighting style is emblematic of this - pre-breakdown, Fabian is headstrong, rash and believes he doesn't need anyone to help him while after his breakdown, Fabian's fighting style becomes more dancelike (and, within the mechanics of the game, much more dangerous as Lou Wilson redesigned Fabian to be a College of Swords Bard/Battlemaster Fighter multiclass, a build legendary for its damage output).

The moment he unveils his new fighting style is during a fight he's in as he, Gorgug (played by Zac Oyama) and Riz (played by Brian Murphy) attempt to break their friend out of a magical prison. As Fabian begins to move and fight, he's met not with mockery or derision from his comrades, but with awe at the beauty of his fighting and the grace with which he moves. His father, now a demonic pirate, also reacts positively, tearing up when he sees Fabian dance and then utterly annihilate foes during the fight in which the quote that started this paragraph is uttered.

Fast forward to the Toxic Masculinity is dead moment, and we see how this rejection of Toxic Masculinity is embodied in Ragh (fan favorite NPC and former antagonist). Ragh was a closeted gay member of the equivalent of the football team of the high school that the cast of characters attends. His arc over season one was the rejection of the internalized homophobia he experiences and other toxic traits. These traits are replaced with a desire to protect his friends and be emotionally supportive and open. This, and Fabian's new dance-centric, non-toxic fighting style are contrasted with the toxic masculinity of Coach Daybreak and Dayne, antagonists from season one who come back to torment Fabian and Ragh. Dayne had previously assaulted Ragh when Ragh expressed his affection for him, a moment that happens offscreen in season one and that the Bad Kids pick up on and find grossly unfair in the final battle of season one.

Next are the other two male Bad Kids, Riz and Gorgug. The two of them are consistently positively masculine, sharing moments of emotional vulnerability with their fellow cast members (a particularly touching scene between Gorgug and Kristen comes to mind) and using their abilities to protect and care for their friends, like Riz pushing himself to be the best detective he can be. They also don't mock Fabian when he's dancing in the fight where his new style is debuted, instead repeatedly telling each other "Spring break, I believe in you!", which fittingly becomes not only their motto but the way in which Fabian uses an ability called Bardic Inspiration, oftentimes referred to as "weaponized believing in someone".

Finally, there are the adults, most notably Gilear, Jawbone, and Gorthalax. All three of them act as guiding figures, looking out for the emotional and physical well-being of those in their care. The moment in Sophomore Year that Gilear tells Fig that he had no idea she viewed herself as a manifestation of someone betraying him and that he's going to get his life together is particularly notable, as it shows that he feels like he has been failing her and is ashamed of that failure.

These examples clearly show the series' attitude towards toxic masculinity and the negative impacts it has on men, especially young men while encouraging positive masculinity, a message sorely needed in this day and age.

Link to the video referenced at the start:

[thoughtsaboutshows]

30 for the prompts

30. “Thanks for marrying me.

This one was requested twice, also by @nevergoinouttastyle

This is a continuation of my prompt from Take My Jacket where Sabrina and Nick meet as members of Ambrose and Prudence’s bridal party 

Today was the day.  She’d thought about this day a lot during her life.  What she would wear, eat, dance to.  Most importantly, who’d be waiting for her down at the end of the aisle while she walked down it.  An aunt on each arm.  In high school and shortly after she was dead-set on Harvey, with his floppy hair and goofy smile, to be the one waiting for her.  In college she’d fallen for the exotic artist named Caliban and for a short time she thought she might marry him.  That was until he’d decided that sleeping with the women who modeled for his clay sculptures was “a part of the process.”  

Nick had come out of nowhere, breaking down her walls despite the awful first impression he’d made.  Every day since, he’d complimented her headband and the way he reverently took it off when she told him to take her upstairs made it seem as if he adored it.  He had been mysterious and charming and he’d made her smile in a way she hadn’t in a while.  Maybe Ambrose was right and she needed to have a bit more fun.  So she’d taken a chance in going up to his room, abandoning her cousin’s wedding early.  She tried to steady her heart that beat with anticipation as Nick slipped his hand under the jacket that was draped over her shoulders and onto her lower back, leading her towards the elevator and away from the party so he could kiss her again.  

She awoke the next morning wrapped in the arms of the man her cousin had partnered her with, feeling more sated and satisfied than she ever had.  She hardly knew this Nicholas Scratch but already he had more than made up for his failed first impression, from the way he’d made her laugh or sang along to the songs when they danced to how his lips landed with perfect impassioned precision to her every inch of her body, knowing exactly how to make her shiver.  

She had expected them to brush each other off, chalk it up to a single great night, emboldened by the romance of a wedding.  But instead after kissing her soundly, wrapped up on his sheets, he’d ordered room service and a bottle of champagne.  She slipped on his button down shirt to eat only for him to unbutton it and peel it off of her shortly after.  Needless to say, they were late to the post wedding party her Aunties had thrown for the remaining guests.  He’d stuck by her and didn’t let the weekend end without getting her number and a promise to see her again.

As her cousin had said, stranger things had happened than Sabrina and Nick falling in love with each other.  But as Sabrina got ready before her wedding day to the man who had offered her his jacket two years ago, she came to the conclusion it wasn’t so strange at all.   

Sabrina had no doubt as she geared up to walk down the aisle that Nick was the right one to be at the end of it.  She had known it from the moment he called her a mere day after the wedding festivities had ended and when he’d invited her to travel with him the following Summer.  Her knowledge was solidified even more when he insisted on having the wedding at the same place as Ambrose and Prudence’s, the very place he’d fallen for her. 

So with all the people they loved by their sides, Ambrose in his party and Prudence in hers, they were married.  Ambrose and Prudence insisted they needed to be partnered up.  

“Because we look so good together, cousin.”  Ambrose had insisted. 

But Sabrina had figured it had more to do with how in love with his wife Ambrose was, and how he wanted to rub Prudence’s full and pregnant belly as they walked down the aisle. 

Tears welled in Nick’s eyes as she made her way to him and he didn’t even try to keep them at bay, shattering every notion of toxic masculinity that had been thrown her way.   He did that often, washing away the bad boy image that had been thrust upon him by whispers of people who didn’t even know him.  

Nick held onto her hand throughout the entire ceremony, refusing to let go even when he needed to use both hands.  He fumbled getting the ring from his best man because of it which made Sabrina snort and then smack him for pulling such an unattractive sound from her on her wedding day.   

He thought about kissing her softly and sweetly, being that they were in front of her family and all.  But once he heard the officiant declare them Mr. and Mrs. Scratch he realized that would be an impossibility.  It had been the world’s biggest surprise when she’d announced she was taking his last name and she seemed just as eager as he was when she grabbed his bowtie and pulled him down for their first kiss as husband and wife.  And not a sweet one at all.     

Hilda had worked with the chef at the venue to ensure the food was top notch and from the way Zelda ran around like a drill sergeant Sabrina was sure the night would go off without a hitch.  Their first dance was Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling in Love and he didn’t hold back from kissing her then too, holding her closer than ever.

They’d chosen to get married in the Fall because not only was it Sabrina’s favorite season but it’s when they met.  And Nick would take any opportunity to utilize the chilled air to wrap his arms around her.  As the night went on, it seemed he’d get his wish.  

He’d been chatting with some friend when Sabrina waltzed over to him.  They’d hardly been apart the whole night so when Sabrina leaned in to whisper in his ear.  He quickly excused himself and made his way over to the balcony.  

He found her leaning against the railing, her head-banded veil blowing in the wind.  She was staring at him, her rosy cheeks and red lips inviting him to step closer.  She was a picture perfect memory of when he’d found her out on that very same balcony two years ago.  Except this time was better, this time she was his wife. 

“Hey, Spellman.”  He said when he reached her, automatically reaching for her waist and pulling her to him.  

“Hey, Scratch.”  She bit her lip and reached up, adjusting his collar.  He’d undone his bowtie shortly after the reception began, and Sabrina always appreciated when he did so.  “But you know my last name has been the same as yours for a few hours now.”

“You may be Mrs. Scratch, but you’ll always be Spellman to me.” He flirted with her as his fingers drifted across her exposed collarbone.  Two years together or not, he could still make her tremble with just a touch. She couldn’t take it anymore then and pulled him down by his hair to kiss her.  If their first kiss as husband and wife had been passionate, this one reached maxed out levels.  

When they pulled apart she shivered and he didn’t hesitate to rip off his jacket and drape it around her shoulders.  His smirk matched hers as they both were taken back to that first night.  

“Thanks for your jacket.”  She said with a wink. 

“Thanks for marrying me.”  He winked back and reached over to wipe at her smeared lipstick.  “To be honest, I was surprised you ever gave me a chance.”

“Stranger things have happened, Scratch.”  She shrugged and pulled him down to kiss her again.  Her makeup was already messed up, they might as well mess it up more.  

They stayed out there a bit more, enjoying a reprieve from the attention and soaking up being together just the two of them.  When another gust of wind blew by and not even his jacket and his lips on hers couldn’t keep her warm enough he chuckled and made a suggestion. 

“Why don’t we go inside, babe.”  He pecked her lips one more time as she pouted. 

“Why don’t you take me upstairs.”  She suggested again, waving her eyebrows and daring him to do it.  He nearly opened his mouth to agree, no one would miss them anyways, when Prudence poked her head out the door. 

“Don’t you two even think about disappearing.”  Even in her pregnant state she was scary, maybe even more so.  “Sabrina your cousin is about to do something very embarrassing and I swear the agarvation will send me into early labor.” 

“We’ll be right in, Prudence.”  Sabrina said, laughing at her intensity.  When Prudence didn’t budge from her place in the doorway Sabrina rolled her eyes and grabbed Nick’s hand.  “Or we’re coming now.” 

She stopped in the doorway with Nick and kissed him once on the cheek, and decided not to tell him that he had lipstick on his face.  She leaned in to whisper in his ear again, first in thanks that he married her too and second all the things she was going to do when this night finally ended and they were alone.  Needless to say Nick had to swallow heavy and breathe deep to keep himself from whisking her away right then.  Instead they chased down Ambrose who had decided he was going to do his own version of the dollar dance, taking off a piece of clothing for every dollar he raised for the new couple. 

Sabrina laughed and tagged teamed it with Nick to pour coffee down his throat.  She wasn’t all that surprised that her cousin had pulled a crazy stunt at her wedding to Nicholas Scratch.

Because really, stranger things have happened.

[verobatto]

Hello just passing by to say that I really enjoyed reading your metas. It must take you a great deal of time and I found that you are quite pertinent. I never thought Dean and Cas could be in a romantic relationship but I found myself beaten by the odds. Episode 9 should have been enough for their friendship and the sayings of the showrunner left me perplexed. Dean could talk to Sam about his resentment and anger but he chose Cas. Asking for forgiveness and a confession Are not the same

Hi my dear Anon! I'm so agreed with you! But I truly believe Dean is ready to say the big L word to Cas. And that's why they didn't showed us now the CONFESSION, because I know is gonna be of huge importance.

First of all, I must say... And I have to say thanks to my friend @spnsmile , because she posted a gifset about Dean praying... And the silence. The silence he made, there were a lot, closing eyes, desperate... My friend put words to those silence... Do you know what she wrote? She wrote what Dean was thinking.

Because we know he was asking for forgiveness, and talking and recognizing his own toxicity, wishing it wasn't too late... But the silence are just as important as the words were...

She wrote: Please don't be dead. I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry. Come back to me. Don't be dead.

If you rewatch the scene is SO FANTASTICALLY ACCURATE. And I must tell and I just took that as headcanon, but with the evidence of Dean's face right there... Desperate man in love thinking he had just lost his angel again.

Then, I was thinking about something my friend @agusvedder said to me, this scene dragged us to Dean in the future, in the kitchen PRAYING IN SILENCE, so... My head was automatically saying... Cas can hear out loud prayers and muted prayers. Dean's thoughts... That's why... Dean realized in Purgatory, just like season 8, but this time differently, bc he already suffered an almost permanent lost of Cas, so HE COULDN'T LOST CAS, HE LOVES HIM WITH EVERYTHING HE HAS, SO THIS TIME, HE WAS PREPARED TO SAY IT. TO SAY THE L WORD ALL OUT LOUD.

He is ready, he said it to his mom in 12x20, he said it to his dad in 14x13, he said it to his brother in 14x17, all of those I LOVE YOU, the L word he wasn't used to talk about it, were FOR FAMILY LOVE, this I Love You is for Romantic Love, that's why is so hard to him! Because it will mean he will have to get out from the closet, but it doesn't matter anymore, he is so ready, so in love with his angel, that he will do it.

I mean... The guy just danced all happy in love in his dreams! He is ridiculously in love this time, decided.

So, I know the I'M SORRY Isn't the I LOVE YOU, but is the first step.

I my metas From season 14, I talked extensively about how episode 14x06 was PIVOTAL and how it pointed us a guide to know what will happen next with Destiel.

I said: THERE WILL BE A DESTIEL TALK WITH HONESTY (still waiting for it) AND THEN, AFTER THAT, THERE WILL BE THE MOVES.

What are the moves? Well, the holding hands is one of them.

If you rewatch that episode it talked about...

Dean speaking openly about LOVE for the first time.

Jack asking THE TALK? to Dean and THE MOVES? to Harper, referencing to the Destiel talk and the holding hands.

Jack saying SO HE LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE and AUCharlie talking about her departure. (Foreshadowing the Destiel break up)

Jack abandoning a book about a Righteous Military Man and grabbing Harper's hand running away from the monster, (foreshadowing how Dean left his Father and his toxic masculinity to a side and choose his family and Castiel in episode 14x13 and episode 15x07).

Harper dressed in green (Healing!Dean color coded) writing a love letter, recognizing Jack like the love of her life, while a song was playing: YOU LOVE ME BUT IN YOUR HEART THERE'S SOMETHING BEFORE ME. WE ARE FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS... (FORESHADOWING the Destiel break up and the beginning of their fight for Jack, and foreshadowing too what will happen now, Castiel will try to avoid/reject Dean's confessions)

So, you know, to conclude, Dean was healing, till now. Today he is a man who knows what he wants. He wants Castiel. So... To arrive to the confession of love, we had to go through I'M SORRY, the recognizing of his toxicities, the acceptation of his true love and his true self, the self acceptance...

This is in episode 14x13 👆

After that, there's THE TALK with Cas with honesty, and then THE MOVES. And then... The romantic I Love You.

But I'm afraid of this...

Gif credit for my friend Agus.

Cas didn't want to hear Dean's love confession, knowing he was about to say it, because as I said, Cas can heard muted prayers too... Now... Dean is ready... But Cas is not, because the mission comes first, and because... The deal...

So yes my dear, is a long loooooong journey to these two love birds... But hey! We had waited for 11 years! We just need to wait a little more!

Kisses! And thank you for passing by to visit me! Please come back anytime!

💕💕💕

[alexeiadrae]

I’ve seen some criticism of Hopper in season 3 of Stranger Things.Some of this criticism I agree with 100% such as

1. Hopper went off the deep end by beating the Mayor up.

2. Hopper was possessive of and insensitive to Joyce.

3. Hopper was controlling and toxic to Eleven and Mike.

I agree with all of that. 100%. What I don’t agree with is that it was out of character, though I can understand why people would see that, because in season 2 we saw Hopper at his best. But let’s go back to season 1 for a moment. Spoilers below.

In season 1 Hopper is avoiding the pain of his daughter’s death. I say avoiding because he can’t even admit that she is dead. When people ask about her, he says she is living with her mother. He even pretends that she won a spelling bee at one point. Hopper is a man who is avoiding the pain and hurt of grief.

In addition to being unable to admit that his daughter is dead. Hopper drinks, abuses pills, smokes, etc. We tend to think of substance use as a moral issue, but really substance use is about trauma. When you start exploring the history of people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol, you will invariably find trauma (they might not recognize it as trauma, if I had a penny for everything someone said “my dad would beat me black and blue but it wasn’t abuse” I would be rich, so they may not identify what happened to them as trauma and abuse, but it is). People drink/consume drugs to avoid feeling hurt and other unpleasant emotions that trauma unleashes. Hopper drinks to avoid the pain of his daughter’s death.

Further, men like Hopper tend to be raised to believe that it is okay for men to express two emotions, and two emotions only. While men feel all of the same emotions that women do, culturally, particularly in 1980s Indiana, they are only allowed to express two. Happiness and anger. Any emotion that isn’t happy gets channeled into anger. Hence why Hopper doesn’t express sadness or hurt. It either becomes anger or he numbs it with alcohol and pills. Hopper does not know how to express hurt and sadness in healthy ways. Or anger for that matter.

And we do see Hopper acting overly aggressive in season 1. He beats up a man outside of a bar to try to get him to confess about tampering with Will’s body. And he punches a security guard to get into the morgue to examine Will’s body. And, most importantly for what happens in season 3, he gets away with it in season 1.

In season 2, Hopper is doing better. He’s taking care of Eleven, and experiencing the rush of love that you feel when you are creating a parent bond with a child. He shows that he can be emotionally sensitive, which I’ve seen people point to to argue that his inability to be emotionally sensitive in season 3 was out of character. Thing is, in season 2, Hopper was happy and he was at his best. He wasn’t trying to push away and numb the pain he was feeling. People are not consistent in their abilities to relate to other people. While I am very empathetic, when I am very stressed or ill, I don’t relate to others as well because I am not in a good place emotionally. 

Further, people think of recovery from loss and trauma as linear. They tend to think that once you get to a certain point you are healed, forever. This simply isn’t true. Recovery is more like a dance, with steps forward and backwards and off to the side. And unfortunately, when people start to get better, this idea that they are healed forever can end up hurting them when things start to derail, because they weren’t expecting it and because they figure why bother trying if it’s just going to get bad again. Hopper got better in season 2, but he was not cured of the trauma of his daughter’s death. Having a new child after one has died does not make that first child come back. Eleven is not Sarah, and the pain of her loss will still be with Hopper forever. Losing your child is not something you ever recover from, it’s something you learn to live with. And Hopper’s ways of living with this are self destructive. He has not learned healthy ways to grieve. He did not learn to cope with the pain of her loss. And this came back to bite him in season 3. For awhile, his focus was on taking care of Eleven, which meant he also had to take care of himself.

But Eleven started to grow up, and as teenager do, grow away from their parents. This triggered the feelings of loss that he felt when his daughter died, as well as the hurt. But instead of being mindful of that, or the fact that Eleven has a right to grow up, he reacted with anger and control and threats. If he could control Eleven, if he could scare Mike, then he could keep Eleven with him and not lose her like he lost Sarah. And, unfortunately, this is the inevitable outcome when people run from unpleasant emotions and aren’t taught to reflect on what those emotions are trying to tell them. They lash out in hurt and anger and end up causing more hurt and anger.

Already under the grip of hurt and anger, he tries to control Joyce and damages his relationship with her in the process. And then he goes and beats up the Mayor, etc, etc, etc. Going back to season 1, he got away with beating up people then. Hopper has powerful allies now. Between his rage and the fact that he’s gotten away with beating up corrupt operatives before, it makes sense that he would beat up the Mayor. Hopper was power tripping. And given that Eleven was starting to move away from him, I also think he was back at a point of not caring what happens to him.

I’ve seen people criticize the male characters in Stranger Things for not being progressive. Yet, it doesn’t make sense for them to be progressive. It’s this rock and a hard place. While there were emotionally sensitive men in the 1980s (my dad is one of them), Hopper is more typical of the men who grew up during his time period. And, frankly, the type of men I have worked with who work in blue collar jobs (or are dealing with the loss of those jobs) in modern times. Jim Hoppers still exist in America. There are still a lot of men like Hopper, and to me they demonstrate how the patriarchy hurts men as well as women.

Basically I see Hopper as a well developed character and I see his behavior in season 3 in line with the previous two seasons. He’s not an idealistic character, he’s someone you could find at a bar in rural Indiana today, flaws and all. And, if he is alive in season 4, I hope they don’t use his death as a way to reset the harm he did to Eleven, Mike and Joyce (and whoever else) in season 3. I would like to see him make some genuine growth and to work to change his self destructive habits.

Because just like boys need models of healthy masculinity, people need models for how to break free from self destructive habits and to process emotions in a healthy manner. People need to see that you can be in a very bad place and come through to a healthy one. And that, ultimately, is what I would like for Jim Hopper.

[belovedalittlemore]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011) DIR. JOE JOHNSTON

june 13, 2020

topics i’m covering

movie itself

steve’s main relationships

steve + peggy (also w/ endgame!)

steve + bucky

agent carter + why she deserves more

marvel as an entity for entertainment, not the advancement of the industry

black panther at the oscars, and why it didn’t deserve to be there

the movie:

ok it’s not that bad, i definitely expected it to be worse. i didn’t really like the yellow ass color grading, like i felt like i needed to tell the movie “you can communicate 1930s without needing to make yourselves yellow”. i think my biggest two issues were the plot and natalie dormer’s character. starting with the plot, this movie was so jampacked with so many challenges i felt like i was watching 3 episodes of a tv show crammed into one. we started with the formation of steve rogers, then the rescue mission, then getting dr. zola (who played the villain in a sherlock episode and freaked me the FUCK out and now i can never look at him the same way), then killing schmidt (which didn’t even work because he ended up in iw + endgame??), then steve dying but then him not dying and waking up? there was just SO MUCH in so little time. second, what the FUCK was natalie’s character for. i love her but she was SO unnecessary. she simply served to add tension to steve and peggy’s relationship, which really only put them back like five minutes. that was never even cleared up, peggy just shot his shield and they kissed like 30 minutes later and everything was dandy.

steve and peggy:

god they’re so FUCKING CUTE and all they really care about is their country and finding the right person and i just watched the ending to endgame (a year later) and guess what? i STILL cannot handle it. thinking about how steve lived a whole life in the present but then also the 1930s but also not BAFFLES me and i don’t think about it but god that ending BROKE ME. i couldn’t listen to that song for a month without CRYING. in short, i probably will never watch endgame again.

also when i first watched it, i was BROKEN because that was a whole phase of my life; that was a DECADE of everyone’s life and it was over and it really hit me at the CREDITS. i was sobbing at the credits and thinking about how we’re never going to see steve or tony again.

anyway, back to peggy. honestly, one of the cutest, most solid relationships in the mcu. i just know that they never fight over anything and their favorite thing to do is dance and i imagine that steve makes her blush but not as much as she makes him blush and i just KNOW that steve would’ve been a huge part of the civil rights movement.

steve and bucky:

ok i’ve always heard about steve and bucky’s ~relationship~ and how they should’ve been gay but after finally watching the captain america trilogy, my only thought is REALLY???

like yeah, they’re great friends and all, and both of them are devastatingly attractive, and they love each other, but not romantically

honestly i feel like this ship really came about because in the other two movies, steve’s accepted that he’s never going to be with peggy, so the closest thing he can have from his old life is bucky and steve sees in bucky everything he ever wanted. and so, of course the audience loses sight of peggy as well and is like “stucky uwu”. but NO. peggy’s the greatest woman who ever lived and the better half of steve rogers and she DEF would’ve been able to lift mjolnir.

hot take: girls only wanted stucky to happen because they’ve never seen a real, wholesome, supportive male friendship in their lives because boys are too stuck inside their toxic masculinity bubbles to demonstrate true love for each other and so girls see stucky and think that they’re in love but really they’re just a great example of male friendship that no one sees anymore

agent peggy carter + why she deserves the world:

she’s so incredibly headstrong and marvelous and is so accountable for herself and calm and cool and collected and lovely in all of the best ways. i know she got a tv series (that lasted 2 seasons), but i feel like she should’ve gotten her own movie. she’s a great push for feminism, we would’ve gotten more steve content (maybe?), and who doesn’t love the 30s.

i just feel like the black widow movie doesn’t matter since she’s DEAD. like i don’t need to go back in time to see her origin story.

movie studios should’ve made pushes for female movies when obviously APPROPRIATE.

peggy carter? should’ve gotten her own movie after this one

black widow? needed the solo movie right before or after the first avengers; would’ve been great!

but now? it’s just unnecessary

marvel:

ever since we did our ranking, i’ve been thinking about marvel as a business and its role in the entertainment industry. the last time i watched thor: ragnarok, i remember thinking that it was a great movie, which it is(!), but it wasn’t the best. and after our ranking, i realized, it really is the best.

i guess i’m disappointed that marvel is really an entity for the blockbuster industry, and not at all for the advancement of the movie industry. i wish directors would be more creative and imaginative; take taika waititi, who took the least-liked set of movies and made it AMAZING. i feel like marvel needs to stop JUST using the russo brothers or that feige guy, whatever his name is, and try reaching out to new directors to incite creativity.

i was looking at a letterboxd list which had every mcu movie with the new releases and there’s going to be about FORTY (total) of them in the next four years, series and/or movie. at some point, we will get bored of the same formula OVER and OVER again.

look at james bond: no one really took them seriously until daniel craig, who (and of course, the abundant group of masterful moviemakers behind him) practically breathed new life and made them something to look forward to. the bond movies used to be a blockbuster, money-making venture, and now it’s taken seriously. i hope marvel does this soon, because in a couple years, their fanbase will become the diehard marvel comic-reading fans and the people who are too sucked in to let go.

black panther, and why it just doesn’t work:

don’t get me wrong, LOVED black panther. such a bold, great movie to finally(!!!) introduce black people into the mcu and done so well. HOWEVER, the movie itself fell a little flat. the whole villain plot? so eh. i thought klaue was way more interesting than killmonger, and they really just brushed him aside within five minutes.

it’s kind of like cmbyn in the fact that their visuals and sheer presence outshine EVERYTHING ELSE, especially in the first watch.

also, it got NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE. i totally understand the other awards it won (best soundtrack, costume design i think, and one other one) and that’s so amazing that marvel finally broke out of its blockbuster mold into the INDUSTRY

however, it got nominated for BEST PICTURE which is so WHAT THE FUCK (ok i’ll let the nom slide though, the 2019 picks were lowkey hella bad and this was the year that GREEN BOOK won)

if ANY marvel movie should’ve ever been nominated and/or won, i think it’s thor: ragnarok or iw; black panther just seemed like such a “look! we’re diverse, can’t you see?” type of move and i was NOT a fan

[amwritingmeta]

13x04: Peel Back the Layers, Dean Winchester

So, many of us - if not all - have been flailing over this image, hoping against all hope that it would be tied somehow to Dean shedding his performing side and allowing himself to just be himself. BAMF dirt under his fingernails caring loving soft hunter that he is. And, of course, that is EXACTLY what this image is tied to. I say this way way way too much on this blog but here it comes for the nosebleed section: mind fucking blown to bits.

*they are giving us everything* *prostrate position on the floor*

Let me extrapolate and dig into the the feminine/masculine theme, which has always been present on this show, but that is focused on in interesting ways this season. 

So, I realised how closely linked this theme is with Dean’s character progression when I wrote my 4x05 meta and in that episode - Monster Movie - the entire narrative, as I see it, revolves around this theme, and the thematic question of Who Am I? Yeah, not much has changed since those days, has it? (thank goodness) (because they’re about to let Dean answer that question for himself) (*tap dancing across tables*)

Here’s how I see it -->

The Feminine, simply put, is Dean’s non-performing side

The Masculine - the toxically so - is Dean’s performing side

When these two find balance with each other that balance will cancel out the toxic masculinity and Dean will be free to be himself, which is a combination of the good qualities of his feminine side and the good qualities of his masculine side. Dean will always be Dean, but he’ll be able to embrace his feelings, his inner nurturer and caretaker: his mothering side, if you will. This while rejecting the toxic masculinity that keeps his need for control so prevalent, that keeps him from trusting, putting his faith in others and believing himself worthy of others putting their trust and faith in him, of good things happening to him, of salvation and a long and happy life.

So, then. What does all this have to do with a shifter peeling his face off?

Well, ironically it’s a shifter that first brought the masculine/feminine theme to my attention, because a shifter with a skewed sense of self takes the focus of the 4x05 narrative, where he’s one of the prominent representatives of toxic masculinity. In 13x04, our shifter - Buddy - takes on that role in an even more on-the-nose portrayal as Buddy literally embodies everything that makes toxic masculinity so... toxic.

Buddy is controlling, selfish, compulsive, obsessive, violent, destructive. Poisonous. I mean, they could not have made it clearer that this male figure is not someone to emulate. He ruins lives for the fun of it. He dresses himself in the skin of loved ones, pretending to be someone to be trusted, only to get close to his intended victim in order to kill them, which to me rings out like a gong of a metaphor for Dean’s self-blame, as Dean’s reliance on Cas and inability to be open and honest with him about where that reliance stems from - to Dean - is most likely the reason Cas is dead. (and narratively it kinda is) (sorry Dean) (tell the people you love that you love them) (or show them) (or make sure they know you want them to stay with you) (and they’re not just a weapon)

So what made me think of Buddy as a Dean mirror - apart from the face peel?

Well, let’s take a look at two Dean Winchester moments in this episode that stand out to me in this context:

*sloth slow eyebrow raise*

These two distinct moments are both all demonstrative of how Dean is utterly rejecting his feminine side. 

Both times - no, let me repeat that - BOTH TIMES in direct relation to a mention of John, when Sam calls Dean out for “starting to sound like dad”, Dean responding “is that a bad thing?” (!!!YES IT IS DEAN!!!), and then Sam mentions John in relation to keeping a journal, which John did, and Dean rejects as not the same thing [because John’s journal was for fact keeping, not jotting down girly feelings]. 

He not only separates himself from the feminine - but John, too.

I mean, obviously he would do that.

But what is this season doing if not forcing Dean to take a good, hard, long look at exactly why he’s putting up a facade, at exactly how his idolatry of his father has informed his personality to such a degree that its become an armour to dress himself in? This season is about deconstructing John as much as it is about deconstructing Dean, but it’s the John inside Dean’s head that needs deconstructing, just as Mary did in S12. Mary was allowed to become flesh and bone, a real human being, a person, with wants and needs of her own.

“I am your mother - but I am not just a mom.”

It’s time for the ghost of John that Dean has kept alive in his head - however subconscious the keeping alive has been - to have its bones salted and burned.

Realising that his mother is her own person, no matter how much she’s still searching for her true identity as well, is the stepping stone for Dean realising the same of his father. That the ghost traces of John kept alive inside Dean is kept alive through Dean’s perceptions, and misconceptions, of John Winchester. 

As children, we rarely actually know our parents. We know them as our parents, but it’s always hard to view their flaws as part of their humanity, their mistakes and bad choices as part of their struggles, their life journey, their life progression - a progression that, fundamentally, is actually separate from our own. Just as it can be equally difficult for a parent to remember this about their child. Well, to simplify something as complex as this topic, because, of course, there are as many different circumstances informing the parent-child bond as there are parents with kids, so all I can really draw on here is my reading of Dean and where he’s at right now in his individual arc. 

And where he’s at is needing to see that his convictions of who he needs to be in order to keep Sammy safe - and, by extension, the world - which has been the root of Dean’s whole sense of self, the root for his identity up until now, is based on the influences of his father, absolutely, but that Dean is choosing to perpetuate this conviction. It’s Dean’s choice to put on this suit of armour because he’s been brought up to believe that feelings are weaknesses, and without the suit of armour he not only feels things too damn acutely (too big a heart and all that), but he also fears that not wearing this armour - this performance - means he can’t protect anyone, which leaves him not knowing who he is or how to behave or what his purpose is or what his worth could possibly be. 

He has to realise that he was brought up to be the hammer, but innately he’s the shield - and just as much the protector because of it. 

Dean has to understand that he can choose not to put on that armour and it will not affect who he is, because the armour was always a facade, it does not inform his personality in the slightest. He has always been him, he’s just been tied down by fear and insecurity and doubt. He’s allowed others (the influence of his father, as influenced by his marine background, heavily influenced by societal norms) to dictate who he can be, who he should be, and yes, this exact thematic focus keeps being hit on again and again this season.

Again and again and again.

There is no weird, everyone’s normal in their own way.

You are who you choose to be.

You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you’ll only make yourself miserable.

Dean is by 13x04 in a glorious place. I do so love it here. I like to call it the Cusp. He is right on the Cusp, peeps. And I’m dancing.

Anyway, back to the episode.

We have the Toxic Masculinity Representative, right?

Oh, yeah. Big time.

And what else do we have? We have the strong, kickass, smart, no-nonsense representative of awesomeness. (oops I mean Femininity.) Because Mia takes one look at Dean, at his performance, at his anger, his bottled up emotions, his rejecting his brother because Sam is consistently being open and honest and pushing for openness and honesty, for Dean to take the healthy approach, Mia sums all of this up in about ten seconds flat, tries to prod Dean into opening up and when he lashes out (”ever since I was a little girl” he says to the narrative representative of his feminine side and it’s fucking beautiful, to my mind) Mia doesn’t waste a beat before she calls him out on his behaviour.

On how he’s taking his anger out on Sam and how his performance, his armour, is making it impossible for him to relate to Sam, and how his brother truly is grieving as well. And she calls him out on how his performance is rendering Jack - aka the representative of change and reaching balance - petrified of him. (oh yeah Dean is fighting this transformation) (because it is scary as all hell) (because there’s no reason for this transformation anymore) (because Cas is gone) (so there is no long and happy future) (well... wait for it, Dean... wait for it... have a little patience...) 

Now let’s move into the most significant moment of this episode, which just serves to hammer all of the feminine/masculine theme home to me -->

Not only is Mia empathic, nurturing and caring (she wants to help) - she also gets to visually step into the good mother role (one of the strongest symbols of positive femininity throughout this show) as she shifts into the shape of Kelly, allowing Jack one final moment with his mother and telling him that even monsters can do good, allowing Jack to have a newfound sense of faith in himself - of course leading right to him being able to save Sam. 

Then, after shedding the outer layer of Dean Winchester - very, very visually tying himself to Dean Winchester - Buddy the Shifter begins to spew his poison, focusing primarily on how he resents her for leaving him, believing she could make a life for herself without him, and now he’s there to destroy that life. He’s going to make her kill again.

Translation: the toxic masculinity is telling the strong, kickass femininity that she’s worthless without him, dictating to her who she is and that she will never be rid of him, and all this, we know, is because of the mistakes she’s made in the past, where she let him rule her life, guide her onto the wrong path and influence her.

Yeah, Dean. Suck on that. LOOK AT HIS FACE! (I love his face)

And what does the strong, kickass femininity do? She does this -->

She says Hell No. You will not tell me who I am, not ever again. I will not listen to you, be beaten down by you or succumb to you, not ever again. I would rather die - wholly myself - than follow you anywhere ever again. 

This effectively does what? It nullifies Dean’s performance-fuelled notion that all things female are associated with weakness, with being submissive and taking orders - never doling them out, because look at this BAMF female, standing up for herself like a goddamn warrior.

Now, what is truly intriguing to me is that Dean stays cuffed in this scene - cuffed by Buddy, no less - and Jack can’t get him loose, Jack can’t do anything, until Sam’s in danger. Sam, who is representative of what? The supportive, empathic, increasingly balanced guardian figure, whose honestly caring about Jack, trying his best to guide him. Here’s the most intriguing part: Sam is the one to shoot the toxic masculinity representative.

Back in good old 4x05, the Girl of the Week - Jamie (representing strong, kickass femininity) - shoots the shifter (toxic masculinity), but in that episode the shifter also puts Dean in bonds that he can’t get out of, needing Sam’s help. I’m getting the increasingly overwhelming feeling that Dean truly needs Sam to push him into the next stage of his character development, and it’s small wonder - Dean has functioned as Sam’s parental figure, but Sam is an adult now, and isn’t it time Sam got to confront his childhood influence as much as it’s time for Dean to confront John? 

Sam providing Dean with the final bolt in the machinery that sets him on a path of no return, where Dean will have to face the questions Who am I? and Who do I want to be? head on makes absolute sense to me. Protect Sammy has been Dean’s inner motto since Dean was four years old. Sam doesn’t need protecting anymore, Sam is stepping up to be Dean’s equal, so it would make for a rather beautiful bookend to Dean’s internal journey if the root motto, instilled in him by John, is shattered and left behind thanks to Sam’s good influence.

But I’ll dig into that in another post.

Oh, also, I just love these blues, purples and pinks (and the fact that the only real splash of colour in the first scene set in Mia’s office is a bright pink flower) (yeah they’re going all out with the pink and blue makes purple symbolism) (with splashes of yellow thrown in for good measure) (wonder why...) -->

There’s a bald eagle in a child’s drawing on the wall (unless my eyes deceive me). The eagle represents freedom and the courage to look ahead, and not only is it - as a national symbol - such a fantastic tie-back to the US itself, where equality, acceptance and democratic freedom is under attack at the moment, but it’s also related to this:

During the Sun Dance, which is practiced by many Plains Indian tribes, the eagle is represented in several ways. During the dance, a medicine man may direct his fan, which is made of eagle feathers, to people who seek to be healed. The medicine man touches the fan to the center pole and then to the patient, in order to transmit power from the pole to the patient. The fan is then held up toward the sky, so that the eagle may carry the prayers for the sick to the Creator.

I just thought this ^^^ was lovely - related to this painting or not - because this season feels like it’s so, so much about healing, about becoming whole.

M’kay, byeeeeeee.

[lisaroquin]

yeah, I’m a redneck, but leave the kids alone no matter your opinion

I suppose this all falls under the disconnect, absolute ignorance, and what most out in the sticks would just shake their heads or roll thier eyes with various levels of disbelief and/or disgust at 'city stupid'

Like the post I've seen several times on my dash about calf nose tags, or the post that has gone around several times at OMGWTFBBQ!!! Pigs are big?

THere was a post "I'll unfriend you if you post a dead deer and your six year old kid" and the hilariously stupid on that of "I don't kill anything for my food, I buy it at the grocery store like a civilized person"

"Civilized" in that case is extremely disconnected. Dude the meat you buy at the grocery store did not just magically appear. Yeah something was killed for it, even if you want to pretend otherwise and didn't do it yourself, something was killed for it. And a hell of a lot more of that animal was probably wasted than the deer some kid was proud as hell of bringing down. (Now trophy hunters after a set of antlers make me fucking see red, but that is not the majority--though the pricing of hunting permits certainly seem to cater to those fuckers. Nor do I have much use for 'fish-in-a-barrel hunting where wildlife ranches sell 'hunting packages' with animals trained to show up in certain spots because food is always left out there)

Hunting season is actually a necessary part of wildlife management--it is also limited, the amount of hunting permits can vary from year to year, and the type of permit (doe or buck for deer season since that is what is coming up and had the comment of stupidity about being 'civilized')  

Wildlife management is about maintaining healthy wild populations. Overpopulation? Means starvation for a deer population because too many deer, not enough to eat, that crosses over to damaged and destroyed crops--which if there's enough of that, your civilized food--particularly cereals or grain based of any type go up in cost. Farmers financial issues can result from that--and guess what civilized folks, that impacts you. Because family farms are a hell of a lot better for the environment than corporate--corporate farms do not give a fuck. The ones making the money are in a city somewhere and do not care about the runoff of anything be it animal waste or chemicals into the water table. (and on a side note--the massive issues of growth hormone and antibiotics in meat supplies come down from fda type mandates on 'safe food standards' same with so much of hte chemicals now used in crop production--pushed by corps, forced on farmers that originally were clueless on how the long term issues would go. family farms keep their animals healthy because their family *depends* on it. and pay a hell of a lot more attention to the impact of things on the land because *their family lives there* and will be effected first.)

Over population also means disease.  Some which very easily hops species to farm animals, and there goes your 'civilized food' at the grocery store, possibly contamniated, recalls. etc etc etc.

And the diseases can wipe out wild populations in an area, can cause some major problems that spread just--well like we had bluetongue go through the deer around here about 3yrs ago. Lot of dead deer around, just dropping dead with cyanotic lips and tongues and then you have the issues brought by carcasses rotting especially along the rivers, which I live near. Populations devastated by disease have years, possibly decades coming back from that and rebalancing the areas ecosystem.

Wildlife management --which includes hunting for some animals--actually keeps the population healthy and prevents the spread of diseases, starvation of the wildlife etc.

But that (eventual, always a few, majority I see ar emore like 10-14 of kids w/ deer but sometimes the littler one gets a really lucky shot) little kid you're howling about pictured with that dead deer--do you know what that little kid actually did? That little kid was up by four at the latest, to go out, and walking through terrain that is not a stroll in park. November--cold, wet, 4am. While there my not be snow, temps esp in early morning are not higher than 20s F (which, for those of you measuring temps differently 32 is freezing). Wait in dew and cold, rain or snow easily possiblilities as well, and quite possibly come home with jack shit, hours of patience and down right cold and shitty-ick-to miserable if it's rainy/snowy for nothing. A permit doesn't mean you get a deer, just means you have a *chance* at getting a deer.

So that six, seven eight year old--who has by the point they go out hunting had hours upon hours of gun safety, like as not been put through hunting and gun safety classes--spends hours of at least semi challenging endurance (which the civilized commenter going to the grocery store probably couldn't stand and would be appalled at). Has had numerous types of wildlife sign, plants, etc pointed out (if they haven't already learned htem) has spent *HOURS* huddled up with parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle and a sibling or cousin or two pending how big the hunting party is and how scattered they are where they're hunting, even if they're sitting up in a deer blind, that's generally fucking cold and windy and not a lot of room so only two or three likely in it (because yup women and girls hunt too, this is not toxic masculinity. Hell I know some women who'll leave the husband at home with the kids and go on a girls hunting trip. hubby more city and doesn't hunt in the particular case I'm thinking of) *gasp* the horrors, hours of quiet conversation, passing down of knowledge.

So the kid gets a deer and is over the fucking moon because actually got one. Picture necessary. Just like any other activity the kid is in (little league/softball/soccer/dance/band/choir/midget football wtf ever)

You know what happens then? The kid gets a lesson in field dressing most likely. Possibly a lesson in butchering--pending if the parents/grandparents do it themselves or they take it to a meat locker to do.

That little kid you'e so horrified over, just provided a fuck of a lot of meat for their family for the winter--and that meat will not be wasted. Unlike the civilized meat at the grocery store which is garbage when it gets past it's packaged expiration date. (and for those of you that don't know--Bambi tastes fucking awesome. Lot like beef only a bit stronger and richer, for the most general comparison) That kid just possibly fed their family for the next two fucking months. That kid has put in some long miserable hours to get that deer, because you don't just walk out and boom come home with a big deer (that *can* happen but realistically it's several days of freezing your ass off, hoping and praying like hell you actually get something. I'm not arguing sport or not--but it is work, with some real fucking physical effort and physical endurance as well as, usually, hours upon hours of patience put in to get a deer)

And if the family is really lucky and the household brings down their limit--which means they have more than their freezer can hold--it's gifted. There's papers got to fill out --yep you have to have your hunting license and have paperwork to legally have deer in your freezer. Has to be accounted for in case of poaching investigation ever cropping up (hey that gives someone a minimum wage data entry job with gov bennies so whatever even if is rather redundant and aggravating for the common folk.) so fill out your gifting paper and give it along with some meat to extended family/neighbors etc.

Several foodbanks accept deer. And give the meat to people who are at the fucking foodbank because they can't afford to eat.

That little kid grinning so proudly with their deer--deserves to be proud. And in the process of getting that deer have gotten a hell of a lot of lessons in everything from gun safety, nature, possibly wildlife diseases (hopefully not, because that would mean there are visible signs of disease on the deer, and meat then unsafe to eat.) has put more time, effort and discomfort into that than a 'civilized' person at the grocery store will ever grasp--even in the learning of gun safety and so on to be able to go, long before there's thought of that child going hunting. That little kid just learned a hell of a lot more of what it takes to feed their family or strangers if that meat is donated, what it feels like to really accomplish something worthwhile. That little kid has spent more time out in nature than the 'civilized' person deriding them and their family likely has--even if one counts a manicured public park as nature.

That little kid has learned a  hell of a lot bringing down that deer, even getting to the point it was deemed they could go hunting. (no one takes a completely untaught and unmindful child hunting). That little kid, is a kid who knows how to listen, who knows how to follow instruction and learn, is a kid who has more respect for and knowledge of wildlife and nature than some airhead model prancing around naked for PETA. Is a kid who has spent hours upon hours time with parent/older family member, probably listening to stories of parent/aunts/uncles childhood, grandparents childhood. Like as not with a few lessons thrown in unthinkingly like finding deer tracks/trails, possibly (probably) spotting other tracks--beaver, raccoon, badger, opossum, dog/coyote/wolf, and around here mountain lion. Seeing plenty of other animals and birds besides the deer they're looking for--around here fucking massive populations of wild turkey, plus hawks, eagles, vast assortment of smaller birds, geese and ducks migrating etc.

Y'all so up in arms at all this flailing and wringing hands....

Why don't you take a hunting safety course? You don't have to hunt to take the course, but more and more (if not almost all) places require it for child hunters these days. See what that kid has actually learned before they go near hunting.

Look up deer diseases. Look up the issues with localized overpopulation of wildlife. Look up sharedeer.org.

Hunting is not for everyone, that's fine. (Fuck no, while I'll gladly accept some venison even pay for processing of part of a deer, my ass is not going out and freezing for hours for maybe nothing. Joint deterioration I have is not about to let me even if I wanted to)

But y'all love to go on about 'don't like, scroll on, don't be an asshole' practice what you preach.

Yeah. Scroll on, quietly delete, whatever. Just shut up about it. You don't have to be an asshole--especially about a kid that is quite possibly better educated on several 'uncivilized' subjects like wildlife,gun safety, butchering and meat processing than you'll ever be. A kid that actually *put a fuck of a lot of effort and discomfort* in accomplishing something that will feed their family and/or others, with meat that sure as hell isn't going to be wasted like meat at the supermarket might be (and pro-tip, folks who take their *child* hunting aren't big macho dickheads looking for a trophy, they're looking for fucking *food* and quite probably have scrimped and saved back a dollar here five there for the chance at getting that food becuase hunting permits are not fucking cheap and those looking for food are not rich.) That kid so proud of their deer-- honestly worked for that deer with the amount of effort and discomfort and time put into getting it. Has learned a hell of a lot in the process of getting that deer, and just had the time of their life with parent/grandparent/older relative of some sort in the process of it as well as a good deal of conversation with parent/grandparent/older relative.

Y'all, go watch Lion King again maybe? Maybe that will help you grasp a bit of circle of life.... think what you want, scroll past, unfriend/unfollow wtf, but *don't fucking be an asshole and post shit at the kid.*  That kid deserves to be proud, and so do their parents.

[ericdeggans]

Why Cobra Kai's Bad Guy Johnny Lawrence Is the Not-So-Hidden Hero of YouTube's Karate Kid Revival

There's a lot I don't like about YouTube's revival of the Karate Kid franchise, Cobra Kai.

Too many of the scenes are predictable and weighted down with clunky dialogue. The fights often look like a bunch of actors and stuntmen trying mightily not to hurt each other. Despite a few cool sets, including the dojo Ralph Macchio's character Danny LaRusso creates, the show's environments still seem flimsy, like stuff cobbled together on the cheap to make Atlanta look like California.

And I still find it odd that a series centered on karate which idolizes a Japanese character — the late Pat Morita's brilliant Mr. Miyagi — has few or no major Asian characters in the story (depending on how you classify two kids used mostly as comic relief).

But there's one thing that's kept me interested in the modern story of The Karate Kid played out by characters now old enough to score their own AARP cards: the performance of William Babka as grown-up villain Johnny Lawrence.

YouTube today drops all 10 episodes of Cobra Kai’s second season for subscribers to its originals service. And what stood out most for me this time around was Babka’s performance as a wounded, yet-still-struggling Lawrence. He’s a loser who has found new purpose by resurrecting the villainous karate dojo from the first films, spray painting its corrosive motto on the schools’ walls: “Strike first. Strike hard. No Mercy.”

He’s also struggling to transform the toxic masculinity wrapped up in that dojo’s legacy into something better, and in the process transform himself. 

There’s a moment deep in this new season, when Lawrence turns to that spray painted motto and makes a rueful observation: “This creed on the wall…follow it to the letter; it will make you strong. It will make you formidable. It will also make you an asshole.”

Lawrence has been living those words for much of Cobra Kai’s two seasons. He’s struggling to atone for being an absent dad and build a relationship with his teen son, who just happens to be studying with his lifelong rival, Macchio’s LaRusso. He’s also well aware of how damaged he is, thanks to the training he got in high school; the reappearance in this new season of his old mentor, Martin Kove’s magnificently oily John Kreese, only deepens those feelings.

In this second season, we see him as a grown up who is finally mature enough to regret a lot of missed opportunities and bad choices. He’s also human enough to still need a father figure — and fall for Kreese’s warped, opportunistic paternalism — even as he’s trying to become a better example for his students.

More than revealing the painful truth behind Lawrence’s cardboard villainy, Cobra Kai also tweaks the ‘80s-era brand of macho style that was lionized in films like Top Gun and Rocky III.  Lawrence loves the kind of hard rock that formed the soundtrack and sensibilities of such films, and the series is always ribbing him for it.

In one scene from an episode late in the second season, kids attend a dance in a roller rink where everyone’s dressed like their favorite character from the ‘80s. One of them, Lawrence’s semi-estranged son, marvels at how people keep mistaking him for somebody named “Danny Johnson.” And in that moment, the lampoon of ‘80s heartthrobs -- which kinda included Macchio at one point -- is complete.  

Speaking of, Macchio was the star of the original movies and he does a great job in this new series, too. He’s in shape enough that he doesn’t look too awkward swinging a roundhouse kick. And he has an easy charm, playing LaRusso as an earnest guy trying to live up to the impossible standard set by a dead father figure — Mr. Miyagi — while constantly derailed by the hatred Lawrence and Kreese spark in him.

But LaRusso’s also less interesting, because he’s a guy who already has it all: a great car dealership business, beautiful wife, opulent home and wonderful daughter. All he has to do is get out of his own way and remember the lessons of spiritual calm taught by the guy he says he idolizes.

It’s Babka’s Johnny Lawrence who is living the struggle we’re in the middle of as a society. The challenge: to root out past corrosive attitudes and assumptions that lead to abuse and regret, even when you’re not sure what that leaves you with when they are gone. Or what it says about you, that you followed those values for so long.

Much of Cobra Kai’s new season is centered on a predictable plot, involving LaRusso and Lawrence developing competing dojos, Kreese’s attempt to insinuate himself into the workings of Cobra Kai and the conflicts among the young teens who train at each dojo, fighting each other in school and elsewhere.

What is a revelation here, is Babka’s excellent work as a guy raised on toxic masculinity trying to do better. Macchio’s LaRusso may have been the hero of the movies, but a wounded Lawrence fighting for his own soul is the hidden hero of Cobra Kai — and pretty much the only reason I watched this second season right to the end.  

[tialovestelevision]

I Was Made to Love You

Apparently, before we get to the conclusion of that two-parter in Angel, we watch some Buffy. This one’s about a robot girlfriend.

… Okay.

1. Very long Previously On. Buffy is beating up Xander in a giant padded suit. He’s giving her advice. He’s actually being helpful for once. Meanwhile, there’s a car arriving in town. A pretty girl in a pretty dress who talks a bit like Anya and is looking for true love got out. Opening credits. Still no Tara.

2. Dawn and Buffy are making Joyce spin around. She does have a nice dress. Joyce has a dress. He’s probably not an evil robot. Buffy is self-conscious about the grand total of two breakups and she’s had and three men she’s slept with.

3. Tara and Anya are talking about computers. Anya is older than Angel. Or the Protestant Reformation. Anya is good at investing. She’s thinking about buying an antelope. They met the girl who got out of the car. She wants to know where Warren is. She’s asking everyone where Warren is.

4. Now we’re at… somewhere. A party. Buffy is dancing with Xander. Anya is expecting a karmic award. Buffy sees Ben. She’s going to flirt with him. She doesn’t know Glory shares his body. He does. She’s bad at faking laughter. There’s a giant clam shell full of punch. I saw giant clams a couple of weeks ago! I’ll talk about them more. She’s asking Ben to dance with her, but he’s bad at rhythm, but he will anyway. He’s dumping his punch so nobody drugs him. If someone does drug him, I wonder if Glory would end up drugged too? And how that would work? Anya is eating woven food. Chex. The girl looking for Warren is here. She might have found Warren. A guy is running away. Yep, Warren. He left with another girl. Xander and Willow are both attracted to looking-for-Warren girl. Spike’s there too. He’s being creepy. Spike doesn’t have a green card… does he? Ben is offering to get violent with Spike. Spike sees Buffy flirting with Ben. Ben is giving her his number. He knows Glory shares his body and Buffy doesn’t. Ben likes coffee. He would like to get to know coffee better. Spike is leaving. Looking-for-Warren-girl is named April. Spike hit on her, so she threw him all the way across a room and out the window.

5. Now April has thrown Buffy too. She then apologizes to her. Everyone’s going to check on Buffy.

6. They’re having a meeting. They all agree that she’s a robot. Willow is going to try to find Warren. Willow’s vocal patterns make Tara smile. Buffy is going to relieve Giles from watching Dawn. Giles has been suffering horribly by listening to pop music and talking about boys. Giles is fascinated by the robot. Giles is fleeing before Joyce starts talking about her date.

7. April is now going door to door asking for Warren. At 3:30 AM. There are no Warrens at Sunnydale. Giles has no robot books but likes making Xander nervous. Willow found Warren Meers and a local address where his parents live. Xander is creeping everyone out, including Anya. Buffy is in the training room now after they talk about how sad loneliness is. She’s calling Ben, who Glory is changing into. She’s asking Ben, who knows he shares a body with Glory but hasn’t told her, out to coffee.

8. Warren is getting ready to flee with his girlfriend, whose name is Katrina. He opens the door to find Buffy outside. He told Katrina to shut up, and she left. Warren immediately asks if April has hurt someone. He tells Buffy April is a robot. Buffy is wonderfully unsurprised.

9. Willow and Xander and Tara are telling Dawn about April. Dawn remembers Ted. Spike just came in with his blanket over his head. Anya wants to throw him out the window. Dawn doesn’t want to talk to Spike. Giles is going to throw Spike out. He told Spike to get over it, which I really wish he would. He’s leaving.

10. April is in a diner, asking people about Warren. They’re sending her out, but they don’t know who Warren is.

11. Buffy is talking to Warren. He ghosted the obsessive robot girl with superstrength who he built. He thinks she must be recharging her batteries somehow. And April just ran into Katrina. And Katrina told April that Warren’s her boyfriend. So April’s got her in a bearhug and is killing her.

12. Spike is throwing out all his Buffy paraphernalia. Buffy and Warren found April… Katrina is unconscious. Or worse. Warren told April to give Katrina to Buffy. She’s alive. Buffy told Warren to actually break up with April. She has no subroutines for rejection. And he just set April on Buffy, because he’s apparently psychotic. Now April and Buffy are fighting. Buffy broke April’s shell a bit to expose some electronics. Katrina is breaking up with Warren again, because he is a serious creep. Buffy’s outfighting April, until April goozles her, but her battery is dying. Now Buffy is sitting with April and talking to her while her battery gives out, offering comfort. This is creepy, but Buffy is being very sweet. And April is dead.

13. Xander is repairing the window April threw Spike through. And talking about windows, and April, and love. “Robots are the strangest people.” “People are the strangest people.” Buffy has decided that what she needs is to be comfortable being alone with herself, and that makes me smile a bit. She’s calling Ben, and leaving a message on his machine to cancel their date. But Glory was listening in. Her feelings are hurt that Buffy turned Ben down.

14. Warren is calling Katrina, who has firmly broken up with him. Spike’s there… he wants a Buffy robot. Ohgod so creepy.

15. Buffy comes in to find a bunch of flowers from Brian to Joyce. Joyce is laying on the sofa… not moving while Buffy talks. She is very dead. Buffy is just starting to catch on to that… “Mom? Mom? Mommy?”

Overall: A lot to unpack here, too.

I’ll start with the end… so, Joyce is dead. I think Joyce came across a lot better when the show was airing an episode a week with about half a year between a season closer and a season opener than she does on even the sort of relatively slow binge watch I’m doing here. We’re a bit more than halfway done with season 5, so watching as the show aired you’d get two and a half years or so between the scene where Joyce threw Buffy out in an obvious, if possibly unintentional, allusion to the way so many queer teens have become homeless in Becoming and her death here. In this watch? It’s been about a month, I think. Joyce looks a lot worse when all her episodes (Ted, Becoming, Anne, Gingerbread) are piled together. Still, Buffy obviously cares about her a lot, so while Joyce’s death as an event might not land emotionally, Buffy’s reaction to her death - and to finding her body - does. It’s heartwrenching.

Second… the realization that Xander is one of the least creepy men in Buffy’s life at this point (second only to Giles) is startling. It’s not just how much the creep factor of men has jumped up over the years the show has run, either… Xander somehow, toward the tail end of Season 4 and into this season, has actually… grown. Slowly, almost invisibly, but it’s happened, and at this point I’m often finding his scenes endearing rather than creeptastic. Him getting together with Anya definitely helped with that - that he’s no longer constantly pursuing Buffy is a huge gain for his characterization.

That isn’t to say that the creep factor overall hasn’t gone up. Spike’s obsession with Buffy makes my skin crawl, and continues to not get less utterly disturbing to watch as this season continues. Riley was basically Sergeant Fragile Masculinity, defining his relationship with Buffy around his own lack of superpowers and her ex. Ben has enough information about what’s going on this season - he seems to have basically the whole dataset, unlike anyone else - to know that pursuing Buffy at all is dangerous to her, to people she loves, and to the world, and neither ceases to pursue her nor gives her that information to make her own values judgement with.

And here we meet Warren. One episode, and he’s already at the top of my list of characters I’d be happier never to see again. April is essentially a human, sentient, FEELING incarnation of what Warren - who IS toxic geek male culture, writ large - thinks women should be. I’ve known Warren. I’ve been harassed by Warren online. I’ve been hit on by Warrens who didn’t know I was trans. And threatened when I turned them down. Warren is the very, very worst. If you’re a male geek, please watch this episode. If you see Warren saying or doing or thinking (with April as his mouthpiece) a thing, stop saying or doing or thinking that thing, because if you don’t stop, you too will be the worst.

God, I’ve written so much already, but still have two points I want to get to.

I’m just going to say it: I’m not sure if the show is playing the moments when Ben appears onscreen in a dress for laughs. It’s definitely not telling us it’s not doing so, and “men in dresses are funny” is a sufficiently common trope that if you’re not playing it you need to actively reject it. If it is playing it for laughs, that’s transphobic; if it’s not, it needs to let us know.

April. I actually felt for her, pretty strongly. Warren, the very worst that he is, seems to have made her just sentient enough to feel rejection and betrayal and loneliness, but designed her in such a way as to make the only escape from those feelings be through him, then denied her that escape. That’s… twisted. Generally, a person isn’t responsible for what others feel about them, but when you literally build a person to feel a specific thing, that IS your responsibility. I have immense empathy for April - perhaps more than I’ve had for any other single-episode character - and, while dying was probably for the best because it got her out of the trap of despair Warren built for her, I felt bad to see her die.

That’s it! So much writing about an episode where a nerd’s robot girlfriend breaks things.

[bitchflicksreviewbyalanna-blog]

ABC’S “Fresh Off the Boat” and the Masculinity of Asian Men

 I identify as an Asian-American woman. I am the eldest daughter of first generation immigrants, which means I am the first in my family to be born and raised in “The Greatest Country on Earth”: The United States of America. Growing up, not only have I been told to go back to go back to my own county, spat on, bowed to with a “Konnichiwa”, and have been fetishized to be your sexy oriental schoolgirl because I am Asian but I have been cat-called, told to put on more clothes, told to wear less make-up, and told I am too stupid and deemed too incompetent for a task because I am a young woman. Yeah, I know. It’s AS IF I didn’t already have it hard enough from my *Asian* parents and their *Asian* expectations.

Anyways, you get it. I’m Asian and I’m a woman. And although I consider myself lucky to be so privileged, life is tough and I could go on and on about my experiences growing up in America. But enough of me because I’m here to talk about Asian men.

The only two Asian male role models I had growing up were my dad and (yes, you guessed it) my very own grandpa. Why is this you may ask? Well, when you picture your standard male superhero or lead role superstar hunk, who do you see? Not too many Asians? Well, don’t worry. That’s not your fault. As we all may know from media, Asian men are either oriental foreigners who have micro-penises or are super geeky nerds who have absolutely zero game with chicks or all the above. Because of this, Asian men have rarely ever been the ideal type of guy a girl would want to date. This exact factor is predominantly why many of my Asian male friends have had self-esteem issues from never being “good enough” in the eyes of their love interests.

Thus, from these stereotypes and generalizations, one fact stands strong amongst the Asian-American community: Asians are misrepresented and underrepresented in Hollywood. We are known as the socially awkward Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles and as Me Love You Long Time from Full Metal Jacket. We have had white individuals being cast for roles meant to be played by Asians and have had predominantly white individuals paint themselves to represent an Asian character. Slowly, however, the Long Duk Dong mentally is changing and the film industries are tackling social justice issues head on.

I essentially wanted to bring all of this up because I recently started watching ABC Channel’s Fresh Off the Boat, a sitcom based off writer Eddie Huang’s memoir about him and his Chinese family’s experience with moving to suburban Orlando, Florida. When this show initially came out in 2015, I was completely psyched out. It was the first time I’ve ever seen so many Asians together on one American TV show. Finally, we were being represented. For the first time, I even thought I had a chance at Hollywood.  

To get a better idea about the vibes of the show, here is the trailer:

I remember watching the first two episodes on TV when they first aired on ABC with my dad. Personally, I thought they were wonderfully constructed because of the well-written plot amd the immense level of relatability. My dad, on the other hand, thought differently. My dad is in his late 50s and lived in America for about 30 years now. I’ve heard quite the fair share of stories about racism and acts of prejudice geared towards my dad because of the way he looks. Therefore, he felt that the show only highlighted the discriminatory remarks and that “some things are better left unsaid”. I, of course, tried explaining to him that Asians have always been the silent minority and that if we never say anything, nothing will ever change. We can’t continue keeping our head in the books and being pushed around like the cliché nerd in movies who gets forced to do someone’s homework “or else” (he meets a fist). I truly thought Eddie Huang had created the start of something for us. But by no means is this show perfect, especially when the executive producers continued to produce a show that was entirely different from Huang’s original vision.

In Season 1, Episode 3, “The Shunning”, young Eddie Huang is desperate to fit in with the popular white American boys at school. Not only does he get ridiculed for bringing Chinese cuisine to lunch, but he also struggles to gain popularity to make friends and impress the girls. Accepting the fact that he is unable to afford a pair of Jordan sneakers, he comes up with a new idea to integrate himself into the cliques at school and “change the way the kids at school saw” him. 

Here’s a clip from the episode that I will be viewing through a hegemonic masculinity lens: 

Eddie’s role model and inspiration for his version of ideal masculinity isn’t his own father, but it is Ol’ DB. Ol’ DB is Eddie’s adored rapper whose lifestyle of fame, fortune, and access to limitless women inspires Eddie to be just like him in order to fit in with the other boys at school. In Eddie’s fantasy, he imagines himself in one of Ol’ DB’s rap videos. There’s cash flying everywhere, expensive cars and jewelry, and women—a ton of women dancing seductively and wearing revealing clothing. The moment an attractive black woman steps out of a car, Eddie has quite the epiphany: “That’s it. A hot girl was the ultimate status symbol”. In order to gain a higher status of masculinity, he suddenly alters his idea of women. No longer are they seen as women, but they are now considered “symbols” and objects because even if he didn’t have Jordans, as long as he had a “fine shorty on [his] arm”, nothing else would matter.

According to our MACS 356 lectures on Normative Masculinity, Eddie’s fantasy would fall under the umbrella of “toxic masculinity”, which to reiterate, does not mean that men are toxic. Instead, toxic masculinity is the idea that society has these expectations as to how “real men” should or should not behave. Because emasculation is a huge no-no when it comes to being a “real man”, Eddie’s fantasy portrays women as just objects, using them to gain popularity amongst the white boys at school. Without even realizing it, young Eddie put women in a lower hierarchy than men, which would make it easy to manipulate women if he were rich and powerful like Ol’ DB. He created a totem pole mentality where men are superior to women and thus, being a man and impressing his white male friends at school doesn’t seem as hard anymore when he has the ladies wrapped around his fingers.

However, male privilege is not just based on gender and it is especially clear in Eddie’s case in this single episode. When examining male privilege, the idea of intersectionality plays a huge role in a man’s rise to success. In this episode, Eddie’s gender is not the only thing that keeps him from fitting in. Like I mentioned earlier, Eddie gets shunned at the lunch table for eating Chinese food prepared by his parents. When he pulls out his noodle lunch, the boys around the table cover their noses and exclaim, “Ew what is that?”, “Get that outta here”, and “Ying Ming is eating worms!” This ends up in him announcing to his family at the dinner table: “I need white people lunch”. This is an example of a concept known as “white-washing”. White-washing is essentially this belief that an individual is willing to neglect and abandon their culture to assimilate to white, western culture. Eddie felt the strong urgency to “white-wash” himself after his bad lunch experience because he wanted to completely get rid of his Chinese roots by removing a huge part of what makes a culture unique: one’s cuisine. 

If we had more movies and TV shows with Asian male lead roles, perhaps white washing and Asian male insecurity wouldn’t be such an issue. Eddie’s experience of being rejected at the lunch table because of his Chinese meal is not unheard of. In fact, it even happened to me when I attended a predominantly white suburban high school. In my freshman year of high school, there was a boy who teased me for a whole week by asking me if I liked the dog meat I ate at lunch. He didn’t stop teasing me until I finally mustered enough courage to call him out on his ignorance.

I believe that ignorance is more likely to occur when there is not enough proper exposure and education of different cultures. If we had more Asian lead roles in general, people wouldn’t stereotypically view us as just “chinks” who are good at math. Asian male representation is needed not only for young Asian boys, but for young Asian girls to realize that the men in their lives aren’t just men who get pushed around and bullied. If I had the examples of strong Asian male lead roles (Steven Yuen from “The Walking Dead”, Aziz Ansari from “Master of None”, and Vincent Rodriguez III from “My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) that we have today, I probably would have had more courage to stand up for myself as a young girl against racist remarks from my American peers. Now, I can only have the hope that Hollywood and media industries will continue to develop dynamic character roles for the Asian population and hire more Asian actors to fill their lead roles for future generations of Asian-Americans to look up to. 

If you enjoyed reading my post about Asian male representation in Hollywood, take a look at http://starringjohncho.com/. John Cho is a Korean-American actor best known for his role as Harold Lee in the Harold & Kumar films. On his website, Starring John Cho, he raises awareness about the lack of Asian representation in film and brings the “vision of tomorrow’s Hollywood to today”.