#these brothers deserve to be happyyyy

[elbdot]

If you have watched it, what are your opinions on the latest TOH episode?

(SPOILERS UP AHEAD!!!)

IT WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT It was PACKED full of storylines and you could TELL that each of them were meant to be an episode on their own, I wish we would've been able to actually get these episodes or a bit more time to breath between moments, but you know, THEY DID THEIR BEST to give us the best compressed version of what they initially had planned and I think THEY DID A FANTASTIC JOB!!!

I did NOT care for a Bosha-return however. I genuinely do NOT like her but I know that she served her purpose in this episode to once again piss of Willow, causing her to break down later on. Still, I'm glad if we don't have to see her again, she doesn't deserve any more of our scarce screentime in my opinion.

Also you have no idea how relieved I am that we got a break from any further Hunter-abuse, I am NOT kidding when I say "Thanks to Them" really messed me up emotionally for TWO WEEKS because of Hunters treatment from "boy is finally healing :)" to "actually let's make things WORSE" UURHGFDHGFHG ARRRGGGGGG

LOVE to see Belos suffer tho. Love that his past keeps haunting him. Yes...FEEL that underlying gUILT of freaking KILLNG YOUR OWN BROTHER and then 1000 CLONES OF HIM I am hoping for a full on mental-breakdown from Belos when he sees Eda next Ep with her Evelyn-Haircut and Hunter and Willow HOLDING HANDS HEHEHEHEHEHEHE That body-posession in his lab was FUCKED UP tho, I can't believe Dana got away with that hOLY CRAP (lovedittho)

Honestly the more I think about the episode the more stuff I remember that I absolutely loved I don't even know if I can write it all down it's just sO MUCH

BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVE STRINGBEANS SHE'S SO CUTE I LOVE HER COLOURS Dratini-cat-snake FUCK YEAH

And...THEM

oOooAAAAAHHHAAJGFDGJFDJFDJKJGFJF 🤩😍🥺😭❤️💖💕💞💖💖💞💕💖💕

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYY AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Just every Huntlow moment and every Emerald Trio moment they just fill me with joy I love these three so much

[amwritingmeta]

13x04: Peel Back the Layers, Dean Winchester

So, many of us - if not all - have been flailing over this image, hoping against all hope that it would be tied somehow to Dean shedding his performing side and allowing himself to just be himself. BAMF dirt under his fingernails caring loving soft hunter that he is. And, of course, that is EXACTLY what this image is tied to. I say this way way way too much on this blog but here it comes for the nosebleed section: mind fucking blown to bits.

*they are giving us everything* *prostrate position on the floor*

Let me extrapolate and dig into the the feminine/masculine theme, which has always been present on this show, but that is focused on in interesting ways this season. 

So, I realised how closely linked this theme is with Dean’s character progression when I wrote my 4x05 meta and in that episode - Monster Movie - the entire narrative, as I see it, revolves around this theme, and the thematic question of Who Am I? Yeah, not much has changed since those days, has it? (thank goodness) (because they’re about to let Dean answer that question for himself) (*tap dancing across tables*)

Here’s how I see it -->

The Feminine, simply put, is Dean’s non-performing side

The Masculine - the toxically so - is Dean’s performing side

When these two find balance with each other that balance will cancel out the toxic masculinity and Dean will be free to be himself, which is a combination of the good qualities of his feminine side and the good qualities of his masculine side. Dean will always be Dean, but he’ll be able to embrace his feelings, his inner nurturer and caretaker: his mothering side, if you will. This while rejecting the toxic masculinity that keeps his need for control so prevalent, that keeps him from trusting, putting his faith in others and believing himself worthy of others putting their trust and faith in him, of good things happening to him, of salvation and a long and happy life.

So, then. What does all this have to do with a shifter peeling his face off?

Well, ironically it’s a shifter that first brought the masculine/feminine theme to my attention, because a shifter with a skewed sense of self takes the focus of the 4x05 narrative, where he’s one of the prominent representatives of toxic masculinity. In 13x04, our shifter - Buddy - takes on that role in an even more on-the-nose portrayal as Buddy literally embodies everything that makes toxic masculinity so... toxic.

Buddy is controlling, selfish, compulsive, obsessive, violent, destructive. Poisonous. I mean, they could not have made it clearer that this male figure is not someone to emulate. He ruins lives for the fun of it. He dresses himself in the skin of loved ones, pretending to be someone to be trusted, only to get close to his intended victim in order to kill them, which to me rings out like a gong of a metaphor for Dean’s self-blame, as Dean’s reliance on Cas and inability to be open and honest with him about where that reliance stems from - to Dean - is most likely the reason Cas is dead. (and narratively it kinda is) (sorry Dean) (tell the people you love that you love them) (or show them) (or make sure they know you want them to stay with you) (and they’re not just a weapon)

So what made me think of Buddy as a Dean mirror - apart from the face peel?

Well, let’s take a look at two Dean Winchester moments in this episode that stand out to me in this context:

*sloth slow eyebrow raise*

These two distinct moments are both all demonstrative of how Dean is utterly rejecting his feminine side. 

Both times - no, let me repeat that - BOTH TIMES in direct relation to a mention of John, when Sam calls Dean out for “starting to sound like dad”, Dean responding “is that a bad thing?” (!!!YES IT IS DEAN!!!), and then Sam mentions John in relation to keeping a journal, which John did, and Dean rejects as not the same thing [because John’s journal was for fact keeping, not jotting down girly feelings]. 

He not only separates himself from the feminine - but John, too.

I mean, obviously he would do that.

But what is this season doing if not forcing Dean to take a good, hard, long look at exactly why he’s putting up a facade, at exactly how his idolatry of his father has informed his personality to such a degree that its become an armour to dress himself in? This season is about deconstructing John as much as it is about deconstructing Dean, but it’s the John inside Dean’s head that needs deconstructing, just as Mary did in S12. Mary was allowed to become flesh and bone, a real human being, a person, with wants and needs of her own.

“I am your mother - but I am not just a mom.”

It’s time for the ghost of John that Dean has kept alive in his head - however subconscious the keeping alive has been - to have its bones salted and burned.

Realising that his mother is her own person, no matter how much she’s still searching for her true identity as well, is the stepping stone for Dean realising the same of his father. That the ghost traces of John kept alive inside Dean is kept alive through Dean’s perceptions, and misconceptions, of John Winchester. 

As children, we rarely actually know our parents. We know them as our parents, but it’s always hard to view their flaws as part of their humanity, their mistakes and bad choices as part of their struggles, their life journey, their life progression - a progression that, fundamentally, is actually separate from our own. Just as it can be equally difficult for a parent to remember this about their child. Well, to simplify something as complex as this topic, because, of course, there are as many different circumstances informing the parent-child bond as there are parents with kids, so all I can really draw on here is my reading of Dean and where he’s at right now in his individual arc. 

And where he’s at is needing to see that his convictions of who he needs to be in order to keep Sammy safe - and, by extension, the world - which has been the root of Dean’s whole sense of self, the root for his identity up until now, is based on the influences of his father, absolutely, but that Dean is choosing to perpetuate this conviction. It’s Dean’s choice to put on this suit of armour because he’s been brought up to believe that feelings are weaknesses, and without the suit of armour he not only feels things too damn acutely (too big a heart and all that), but he also fears that not wearing this armour - this performance - means he can’t protect anyone, which leaves him not knowing who he is or how to behave or what his purpose is or what his worth could possibly be. 

He has to realise that he was brought up to be the hammer, but innately he’s the shield - and just as much the protector because of it. 

Dean has to understand that he can choose not to put on that armour and it will not affect who he is, because the armour was always a facade, it does not inform his personality in the slightest. He has always been him, he’s just been tied down by fear and insecurity and doubt. He’s allowed others (the influence of his father, as influenced by his marine background, heavily influenced by societal norms) to dictate who he can be, who he should be, and yes, this exact thematic focus keeps being hit on again and again this season.

Again and again and again.

There is no weird, everyone’s normal in their own way.

You are who you choose to be.

You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you’ll only make yourself miserable.

Dean is by 13x04 in a glorious place. I do so love it here. I like to call it the Cusp. He is right on the Cusp, peeps. And I’m dancing.

Anyway, back to the episode.

We have the Toxic Masculinity Representative, right?

Oh, yeah. Big time.

And what else do we have? We have the strong, kickass, smart, no-nonsense representative of awesomeness. (oops I mean Femininity.) Because Mia takes one look at Dean, at his performance, at his anger, his bottled up emotions, his rejecting his brother because Sam is consistently being open and honest and pushing for openness and honesty, for Dean to take the healthy approach, Mia sums all of this up in about ten seconds flat, tries to prod Dean into opening up and when he lashes out (”ever since I was a little girl” he says to the narrative representative of his feminine side and it’s fucking beautiful, to my mind) Mia doesn’t waste a beat before she calls him out on his behaviour.

On how he’s taking his anger out on Sam and how his performance, his armour, is making it impossible for him to relate to Sam, and how his brother truly is grieving as well. And she calls him out on how his performance is rendering Jack - aka the representative of change and reaching balance - petrified of him. (oh yeah Dean is fighting this transformation) (because it is scary as all hell) (because there’s no reason for this transformation anymore) (because Cas is gone) (so there is no long and happy future) (well... wait for it, Dean... wait for it... have a little patience...) 

Now let’s move into the most significant moment of this episode, which just serves to hammer all of the feminine/masculine theme home to me -->

Not only is Mia empathic, nurturing and caring (she wants to help) - she also gets to visually step into the good mother role (one of the strongest symbols of positive femininity throughout this show) as she shifts into the shape of Kelly, allowing Jack one final moment with his mother and telling him that even monsters can do good, allowing Jack to have a newfound sense of faith in himself - of course leading right to him being able to save Sam. 

Then, after shedding the outer layer of Dean Winchester - very, very visually tying himself to Dean Winchester - Buddy the Shifter begins to spew his poison, focusing primarily on how he resents her for leaving him, believing she could make a life for herself without him, and now he’s there to destroy that life. He’s going to make her kill again.

Translation: the toxic masculinity is telling the strong, kickass femininity that she’s worthless without him, dictating to her who she is and that she will never be rid of him, and all this, we know, is because of the mistakes she’s made in the past, where she let him rule her life, guide her onto the wrong path and influence her.

Yeah, Dean. Suck on that. LOOK AT HIS FACE! (I love his face)

And what does the strong, kickass femininity do? She does this -->

She says Hell No. You will not tell me who I am, not ever again. I will not listen to you, be beaten down by you or succumb to you, not ever again. I would rather die - wholly myself - than follow you anywhere ever again. 

This effectively does what? It nullifies Dean’s performance-fuelled notion that all things female are associated with weakness, with being submissive and taking orders - never doling them out, because look at this BAMF female, standing up for herself like a goddamn warrior.

Now, what is truly intriguing to me is that Dean stays cuffed in this scene - cuffed by Buddy, no less - and Jack can’t get him loose, Jack can’t do anything, until Sam’s in danger. Sam, who is representative of what? The supportive, empathic, increasingly balanced guardian figure, whose honestly caring about Jack, trying his best to guide him. Here’s the most intriguing part: Sam is the one to shoot the toxic masculinity representative.

Back in good old 4x05, the Girl of the Week - Jamie (representing strong, kickass femininity) - shoots the shifter (toxic masculinity), but in that episode the shifter also puts Dean in bonds that he can’t get out of, needing Sam’s help. I’m getting the increasingly overwhelming feeling that Dean truly needs Sam to push him into the next stage of his character development, and it’s small wonder - Dean has functioned as Sam’s parental figure, but Sam is an adult now, and isn’t it time Sam got to confront his childhood influence as much as it’s time for Dean to confront John? 

Sam providing Dean with the final bolt in the machinery that sets him on a path of no return, where Dean will have to face the questions Who am I? and Who do I want to be? head on makes absolute sense to me. Protect Sammy has been Dean’s inner motto since Dean was four years old. Sam doesn’t need protecting anymore, Sam is stepping up to be Dean’s equal, so it would make for a rather beautiful bookend to Dean’s internal journey if the root motto, instilled in him by John, is shattered and left behind thanks to Sam’s good influence.

But I’ll dig into that in another post.

Oh, also, I just love these blues, purples and pinks (and the fact that the only real splash of colour in the first scene set in Mia’s office is a bright pink flower) (yeah they’re going all out with the pink and blue makes purple symbolism) (with splashes of yellow thrown in for good measure) (wonder why...) -->

There’s a bald eagle in a child’s drawing on the wall (unless my eyes deceive me). The eagle represents freedom and the courage to look ahead, and not only is it - as a national symbol - such a fantastic tie-back to the US itself, where equality, acceptance and democratic freedom is under attack at the moment, but it’s also related to this:

During the Sun Dance, which is practiced by many Plains Indian tribes, the eagle is represented in several ways. During the dance, a medicine man may direct his fan, which is made of eagle feathers, to people who seek to be healed. The medicine man touches the fan to the center pole and then to the patient, in order to transmit power from the pole to the patient. The fan is then held up toward the sky, so that the eagle may carry the prayers for the sick to the Creator.

I just thought this ^^^ was lovely - related to this painting or not - because this season feels like it’s so, so much about healing, about becoming whole.

M’kay, byeeeeeee.

[vakonawaa]

DONT MIND ME JUST SOBBING OVER BANANA FISH FICS BECAUSE FOUND FAMILY AND FUCK I JUST WANTED THEM TO HAPPY SHIT

[cheeto-pocket]

Sooooo Will Byers. I love him the normal, good amount, which is all of the love on the world, as everyone should. I just want my boy to be happyyyy 😭 hopefully the duffer brothers get their shit together for season 5 and give him more of a role than gay and sad with unrequited feelings for an asshole 🙄 my boy deserves appreciation and more stage time and unconditional support and love. Gay ppl can and deserve to be happy too!!!

I had a lot of fun drawing him hddghd as have I will El, who I might have in another post bc I love them as siblings, we shall see-

[cherry4colas]

the new NEW video has my soul thanks

don’t expect this to be the last post with me freaking out about sanders sides

SO THE NEW EPISODE

SPOILERS FOR DEALING WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS!!!!!

more below the cut uwu

- REMUS. FREAKING REMUS. I LOVE MY STINKY SON, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HE DESERVES ALL THE L O V E- cough - I love Remus. All the brotherly parallels are amazing, with “Have you ever imagined killing your brother?” and then two seconds later, Roman’s been knocked out by a freAKING MACE. BY. HIS. B R O T H E R. amazing. and we have the Cain and Able parallel and the Romulus and Remus parallel. just,, amazing work. a m a z i n g  w o r k. - i love how remus affects each side depending how much they fear him. Roman must fear his brother a freaking lot since he was out for 97% of the video, but logan was like “oh, ninja star in my head? i’ve experienced worse.” - speaking of logan, mY SON WAS CALLED COOL. UH, YES?!?!? this video is pushing roman closer to his character arc and is pushing logan’s back. and thank god for that. we’ve had to experience over a year of roman angst, and while i love myself some good ol’ ANGST, i really just want it to come tumbling ouT! blurt it out, if its easier! like ripping... thE SWORD FROM THE STONE!!!1 i’m sorry. - patton didn’t have a very big role in this episode, but i still loved him. im definitely gonna use “singing to myself cause im not uncomfortable at all” in the future- - back to logan, he wAS SO COOL IN THIS EPISODE?!?!? LIKE, HIM SOFTLY EXPLAINING THINGS TO THE OTHER SIDES MAKES ME SO HAPPYYYY!!!!!! - roman a n g s t, man. the funhouse mirror thing made my heart hurt ajskjak- - VIRGIL. - V I R G I L . - i mean i feel like we been knew, but v I R G I L - and he just sinks out like,, what if thomas hates him now? what if it all goes back to pre-accepting anxiety? that’d make me saaadd - remus. I just,, don’t know how to start explaining him - i love him. I don’t love to hate him and i don’t hate that i love him, I LOVE HIM! the “theres a snake in my b U T T!” always gets me! deceit what’re you doing down there- - i also feel like there’s some m a j o r dark side angst going on here and I’m living for it. - I mean, just think about it. The dark sides are never really listened to, right? And they’re hated. But now, one of them left, and guess what? He’s getting listed to. He’s loved. Thomas and the light sides care about him. Obviously, they’d get jealous. Why should he get loved if they’re just like him? Technically. So, they try to force Virgil to come out and tell Thomas about his past. “It takes a liar to know a liar.” “I wouldn’t hide anything from you!” Together, Deceit and Remus push Virgil to tell Thomas about being one of the Others. Because, Thomas “hates” the others. now that he knows Virge used to be one of them, wouldn’t he hate Virgil too? They’re bitter and they want to get back at Virge for betraying them. - virgil’s face when roman comes back - virgil’s face when logan’s getting thanked for being so coOl - roman apologizing to logan - “you’re not dead!” wow, thanks pat - virgil showing concern for roman sorry, my multishipper is showing - i’d like to point out how during the 12 days of chrismas, roman mentioned naked aunt patty, and during the song, remus bent down a moment and a sticky note behind him said “aunt patty naked.” just wanna point that out - speaking of the song, wOW ITS AMAZING! its really catchy and- ugh, good job joan! props to them! - “everything is okay.” wow okay my heart just- wow - thomas is just a whole mood and a half thank you very much - “despite his best efforts virgil could never stop being the bad guy!-” -i’m probably missing some stuff bc the episodes so freaking amazing and this post is a mess bc im a mess but like, i love the entire 41 minutes and 17 seconds - i really loved this entire episode and I cannot wait for the next episode. tho, take ur time, thomas and the crew. ur doing great, but don’t overwork yourself. and thomas, get some sleep. you uploaded at like 2am - and i saw some people in the comments of the video complaining about remus. like, if you don’t like him, then whatever, thats your opinion. but, remus did not “make sanders sides more mature” and “less funny.” there are content warnings in the beginning, so if you’re like 7 years old, then you should know what to expect. yeah, there were mature jokes, but there have always been mature jokes. take “virgan” as an example. personally, i love remus and will protect the stinky boi with my entire being. and ss isn’t “less funny.” this was literally one episode. yeah, thomas is probably going to discuss more heavy topics later, but that shouldn’t make a difference - okay i’m done ranting- - this post is a mess but so are my emotions after watching the new NEW episode so-

[freckledbastard]

Have u considered a phantom of the Opera au with yandere sabo as the phantom, Ace as raul, and Luffy as christine?

ive never seen the phantom of the opera so i have no idea who raul is lol but yandere sabo is always a good time so i instantly approve

okay i read the tvtropes page and i still don’t know whats happening but i know who raul is now! so progress

wait wait wait tvtropes says that phantom has a hypnotic voice, does sabo seduce luffy with RIVERRRRR OF FREEEEDOMMMMMMMM (sabo’s character song)

sabo’s family sucks so it wouldn’t surprise me that luffy, with his big heart and how he genuinely doesn’t care about the burn scar taking over half of sabo’s face and making him blind in one eye, would be someone that sabo would pretty quickly obsess over

ace fairs a little better here, he’s part of the whitebeard group so he actually has support after the sucky start to his life, so when he and luffy fall in love he doesn’t rely on luffy to be his absolute everything unlike sabo who feels he’s nothing without luffy and therefore luffy has to be with him ace already has everything he has NOTHING luffy im NOTHING without you and luffy’s like wow that sucks man as he sips his starbucks lol im sorry

oh it says that christine/luffy tries to escape the phantom via suicide?? wtf i thought this opera was a romance between the two of them modern media has lied to meeeee but maybe that’s where luffy’s face scar/chest scar comes from? he either stabs himself in the face or he tries to burn himself alive. of course if he does the last one sabo is ognna be like you want to be like meeeeee i-im so happyyyy and luffy is like i have so many regrets right now ace HELP MEEEEEEE

but in the end phantom/sabo lets christine/luffy go to be with raul/ace and then he dies? tvtropes doesn’t tell me how he dies is this a lie is sabo like i’ll let you be with ace uwu and then follows them around everywhere with a promise to himself that if ace proves himself unworthy of luffy’s love he’ll give him what he deserves. and we all know ace will never be able to live up to those standards.

(and then canon!asl brothers are watching this movie and sabo is like IM SORRY I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER and ace is like one day i’ll be enough sabo: I’M SORRYYYYYYYY luffy: wow! ive never committed fratricide before but today is the lucky day! hey sabo is it still fratricide if its another version of you sabo: h-how do you know that word)

[eminensce]

• I decided to skip my lecture this morning because I was too tired and depressed, and it was the best decision I have ever made, honestly I slept all day instead

• I watched my lecture online surprisingly (who am I) and I surprisingly didn’t absolutely hate this unit. I also wrote down all of my assessment dates in my planner so I’m happyyyy

• I’ve been having a really bad depressive episode lately, and my brother noticed and got my mum to buy me food because I hadn’t eaten all day and honestly what did I do to deserve my family ily them

[angimaria13]

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Hi guys have I told you lately that I LOVE YOU