#totally would love to see more writing from you man you've got skills!
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thefanciestborrower · 2 years ago
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YOU'RE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE G/T BLOGS EVER IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED MY FIC - mod bucket
Me??? One of your favorite blogs???? Bro I'm so flattered considering I'm literally just a silly little guy posting a bunch nonsense on the internet haha!
Seriously though your fic was so good!! You should be dang proud cause I've read that thing several times now and it makes me smile like a FOOL
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moodymisty · 11 months ago
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A kinda funny anecdote: I asked my husband who he thinks tumblr girlies would like to fuck and he sighed and said Sanguinius or Magnus.
But he wished people would thirst over Jaghatai Khan more, since he's actually a good man, playing up a mysterious façade but actually being a loyal and intelligent man, a family man even, as he is from a culture that values family. Only thing faster than his sword is his wit.
So, if you please, I would love to see the Great Khan whisk away the reader, on his bike or horse, just something a bit romantic if you feel like it <3
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[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]
Author's Note: YES! JAGHATAI TIME! I'm so glad someone requested him! He's really an awesome Primarch and one of my favorites, I would totally paint some if that didn't mean I had to paint white. It's sad how often people forget to mention White Scars when mentioning kinder space marines, they're awesome. Hope you enjoy.
Summary: Khan realizes he's in love not when he sees your beauty or your skills, but when he sees you in the mud with the horses.
Relationships: Jaghatai Khan/Gn!Reader
Warnings: None, Though I had a bit of trouble forming this one in a way I was happy with, so apologies if it reads a bit weird? It's also my first time writing Jaghatai
Word Count: 1143
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While Jaghatai would be wrong to say this would be the oddest sight he's seen in his already long existence, perhaps it's up there.
"There you are."
His voice travels easily over the sound of the wind raking the tall grass, blowing fabric and hair along with it.
Sitting cross legged in the grass of a massive rolling field is where he found you, playing with the snout of a horse that has lazily laid on his legs to be at a similar height to you. He blows air through his lips, making an odd whinny at you when you turn and stop giving the stallion your full attention. You catch Jaghatai's eyes for a moment before looking away, a bit contrite.
"Apologies," You say, and he can hear the title Lord Primarch on your lips. You stifle it now, as he finds it far less palatable than his others.
"Do you have need of me?" You move to get up, but the Primarch gives a response before you're able. Jaghatai's mouth quirks up ever so slightly to one side, watching the horse attempt to get purchase on your clothing with his lips while you aren't looking at him.
"No. I was only curious where you had managed to lose yourself this time. My captain was beginning to think we were down one remembrancer."
You don't directly answer him, but the way you glance over at him with a guilty smile is enough.
Your hand brushes along the stallion's cheek, the thick fur of his growing winter coat raking through your fingers. The nights are getting colder, and the baseline humans that serve the massive, overheated Astartes find themself bundling pelts and fabrics tighter, skin burned from cold wind.
Jaghatai can hear you now whispering to the horse under your breath, even as the cold air whips across the barren, grass covered field. He can see the plume of smoke from another camp far in the distance.
They aren't hostile, but he never allows himself the sheer foolishness of assuming they will remain that way. Especially since they're carrying with them valuable cargo this time; Remembrancers and Navigators, and other such. Humans that would be an easy and worthwhile target, if they were ever so foolish enough to do so with a Primarch so close.
He gestures to the horse who's snout you gently rub, feeling the soft, tiny hairs on the stallion's upper lip. What a rare moment of relaxation you've gotten with no overseers looming over you as they would on Terra. How interesting that it seems the Astartes of the White Scars are less rigid than your old Imperium higher ups.
"I am surprised he's letting you do this. The last man that got close, he killed."
You look up at him as if he's telling a sort of terrible joke- then you realize that he is dead serious, as much as that soft, ever so slight upturn of the corners of his mouth might say otherwise. The Horses of Chogoris have always been so untenably wild, perhaps you shouldn't be surprised.
"I'm no stranger to that sort of thing, nowadays." He finds it amusing that you don't seem to state it negatively. "Going from Terra to Chogoris has been quite the adjustment."
The horse's tail whips sharply once, before settling again. You continue playing with him, occasionally looking to the Khan as he stays in silence. It's peaceful, far more peaceful than he's had in a long while, and the moment allows Jaghatai to finally piece together what has been gnawing at him since you'd entered his life. To think that was so long ago now, at least in the timeline of a mortal.
His eyes watch over you, your gentleness as you treat the stallion in the same, abit foolhardly way of kindness he's seen from you before. For someone who has seen more than their fair share of things that would make other mortals crumble, you seem to take it all in stride.
Perhaps its why you've managed to fit in so well. His men much prefer your attitude to the few other pompous, stiff Imperium operatives they've had the misfortune of being in the presence of. It may not be often, but more than once has he caught one of his captains rolling their eyes.
But now he finally understands what that feeling was that had dug it's nails into him; The one that had been heavy in his chest and on his mind. The one that had his mind drift to you in moments of slowness.
He is in love with you. Or perhaps more accurately, he's striding down the path closer to it. Each step he takes, each time he speaks with you, he makes his way closer and closer.
He enjoys the way you look at him, speak to him without so much formality, the way you treat the galaxy like it's full of wonders instead of horrors. You know in reality it is, but you once joked it's better to simply keep moving than to sit in the corner and weep. Perhaps that was the moment that this all started.
A part of him knows that something like this is only going to bring problems. To entangle this with a labyrinthine crusade of Astartes, of other Primarchs.
But in the end, he doesn't care.
The Primarchs were doomed to this feeling of being separated from humanity- their own internal humanity- by a pane of glass; So close and able to watch, but not truly feel. Even with how much they mimic, the Primarchs all feel a distinct emptiness within them from how cast away they are from those who they share species with.
To have a chance to maybe feel love, to actually feel truly human for the first time in his life, he isn't going to pass it by. Perhaps it's selfish, but he has little care. He is going to live his life the way he wishes any he will deal with the difficulties as they come.
Jaghatai Khan can easily vault the fence with zero effort, given his height. In doing so, he steps close to you, and the massive horse raises his head and begins to rise to his hooves, no longer allowed to slack off. He roughly gestures with his hand for you to rise.
"Up. I'll show you how to ride him."
You get up on your feet, and look up at him. He looks down at watches the light of the brightest moon of the month reflect on your skin. There's the faint smell of smoke in the air from the fires, and that stinging scent of cold air. You easily climb up onto the horse's bare back, Jaghatai even then still taller.
"Perhaps if you can tame him just enough, he can be yours."
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velvetures · 1 year ago
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Can we please have a cute gaz fic where they are pining on each other and everyone on base is naturally done with their shit ;))
Take It Easy
A/N: This isn't exactly... "spicy", because I used a trope that shot myself in the foot. Anyway, I hope you're happy with how this turned out. If not, let me know. I really love writing for Gaz, and I'd like to get more practice in and feel his character out to where it's more accurate. :) HE'S SO DAMN CUTE IN THIS PIC!!!
Summary: You've always had a thing for Gaz... and he's felt the same way. Everyone else knows it, but it takes a little shock for you both to figure it out.
T/W: injury description, some heat but no spice, suggestive content, Price being a mood-killer, not proofread.
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Kyle Garrick is well known as a man of few words, but immense power of action. He’s typically not going to have a handful of words on any topic at one time, and if he does, it’s definitely worth listening. Getting his point across isn’t hard though. Between his very expressive face and the far more interesting use of his hands and touch. Gaz very often employs the use of pats, nudges, hugs, and the occasional slap to ensure you’re on the same page with him.
The problem is, that it made your crush on Kyle that much harder to cope with. You spent so much time around him that it was almost impossible to go more than a couple of hours without touching him in some way or another. By it his knee up against yours sitting on a couch, a hand holding to the back of your parachute before a jump, or putting an arm around your waist to yank you out of harm's way. Rationalizing that he did it for nothing other than practical purposes helped take the edge off. Yet a small crack in your heart deepened when you had to remind yourself that he probably didn’t mean anything by it.
From the first week you met him, Gaz instantly had you wrapped around his finger without even trying. Just seeing him smile at one of Soap’s jokes or hearing him laugh practically melted you down into your boots. Even in his less-than-sweet moments, that little voice in the back of your head and the pulse between your thighs got heavier when you saw him coming out of a mission; dirty as fuck and panting, a hardened look in his eyes and sweat dripping off his face. Perfection, in your opinion, fell short when describing Kyle. Unbeknownst to you, there were plenty of reasons for him to be just as nervous around you.
Smart, skilled, and downright sexy… it was a total package for Gaz, and he always felt like attempting to make a hint or ask you out on a date just to see what your reaction would be. Talking wasn’t his best skill though, and when he was around you there wasn’t a single thought in his head that didn’t revolve around a subtle scream of frustration that he couldn’t just get you alone for more than a couple minutes. He loved how affectionate you could be after working in the same footsteps as himself and the other guys. Plenty of reasons and experiences to leave you jaded or downright pissed off with the world. Managing to keep himself from falling into that same trap got a lot easier after you came around. And maybe it was self-serving, but Kyle liked the idea of keeping you for himself so he’d never have to feel that way ever again. Admittedly, he thought about it a lot. Being a lot more than just a partner.
Through a few mistakes on paperwork and simple logistics, you’d been asked to stay behind for a mission. The 141 had not been expecting the loss of a teammate, but you’d been very quick to reassure them that before you’d come along, they managed just fine and this time would be no different. Besides, it wasn’t supposed to be more than a capture and kill of three terrorist organization leaders causing a bit too much trouble and making everyone nervous. All the intel was vetted multiple times, and you’d even been able to sit in on the briefings up until the last minute before they left. So it was a shock when they came back dirty as hell, half of them covered in blood -not their own- and Kyle hardly able to walk on his own two feet with a massive hole in his t-shirt soaked thoroughly in blood -of his own. You couldn’t have been out of your seat any faster, pushing right past Cap and Soap, shouldering Ghost’s massive body out of your way and staring up at Kyle with wide eyes and a worried look.
“What the hell happened to you, Gaz?” Instantly your hand was pressed softly against the hole in his shirt, feeling thick bandages taped up around the area just left of his abs and below his chest.
“Jesus... you got fucking shot?”
Your mind was already spinning, trying to figure out why he wasn’t in the hospital or at least in the medical wing of HQ getting professionally looked at, instead of standing here like a used gun range target. Kyle watched you with a bit of surprise, looking over your head to see the others staring with wide grins and Ghost shaking his head disappointedly. There was no denying that they all knew how he felt about her, but this was a lot more attention than he was used to getting. Not that he didn’t enjoy it. He huffed a little, putting his hand over yours and taking as deep of a breath as he could manage with bruised ribs and internals.
“Nothing awful, small round,” He attempted to soothe you, but apparently hearing what kind of round wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Your face twisted in anger and hurt, and you looked up at him like a kicked little puppy. It made his heart clench, and not because of his injury.
“Easy… my vest stopped the majority, okay?”
With that, he pulled up the hem of his shirt just enough for you to see that there was minimal blood soaking into the gauze and padded patch over him. It made your cheeks heat up, seeing him quite like that right in front of you. But you tried to swallow down your nervous energy and nod. Kyle just smiled, pulling you just a little closer to him with an arm wrapped around your shoulders, burying his face in the crown of your head with a stiff sigh. You were always so damn sweet… worrying about everyone but yourself. But this felt a little different than normal. He didn’t know why, but that feeling alone possessed him to press a soft kiss to the top of your head, lingering there just to make sure you knew exactly what he was doing before pulling back.
“No more missions without me,” You say quietly, hand fisting in his shirt. ���I mean it, Kyle.”
You saying his name was new too.
You hardly ever called him that, and when you did there was a damn good reason for it. He’d always found it endearing realizing that you saved his actual name for occasions when a nickname didn’t feel personal or affectionate enough. Although you didn’t have a call sign like the rest of them, he just murmured your name back into your hair, rubbing one hand over your head softly. Gaz understood that even though he’d not meant to, him coming in without warning of what happened actually scared you quite a bit, and it made him feel really guilty for not thinking that it could affect you any more than it did him. Fuck. He was still alive, and walking… There wasn’t much else to be worried about in the grand scheme of things. Yet feeling you cling to his shirt helped him come to see that it might not only be him who had feelings deeper than two regular operators might share.
“I promise, love.” He squeezed you affectionately; Both of you knowing damn well he’d told a lie just to ease your upset. Yet that was exactly what you needed, and Kyle couldn’t think of anything more he wanted to give you. Well… maybe a couple of things crossed his mind. But that could wait for later. At least until he could actually sit down and stand up without his whole torso burning. He kissed the top of your head again, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo and feeling a touch of dampness like you’d not been out of the shower very long ago. It settled in his mind and bones, helping take the edge off of a long day and the remnants of adrenaline still rushing through his blood.
“Hate to interrupt the party,” The Captain’s dry and somewhat flat tone reminded the both of you that you weren’t in a private room. And that everything had been said under Price and Soap’s watchful eyes. Ghost was long gone, already knowing damn well what was going to happen. He’d already seen it long before either of you quite recognized it, and didn’t feel like staying for the re-run. “But if you don’t mind… finish that shit somewhere else. I’d like to drink my whiskey without all the extra… affection. If you don’t mind.”
Gaz stiffened, and you couldn’t help but blush. It’d been nothing short of instinct, seeing him visibly the worst off of the squad. And now that you were sure he was going to be okay, it had made a lot of little questions in the shape of missing pieces suddenly snap right into place. Unfortunately, it appeared everyone but you and Kyle were already more than finished with the topic and were honestly just hoping you’d figure it out. Price definitely didn’t think it would take Garrick getting shot for you two to stop running circles around each other, but now that was taken care of. So he didn’t have to be so subtle anymore. And neither did Soap, who gave a deep whistle and wink before shoving his hands in his pockets and disappearing down the hallways towards his own room.
“Come on,” Kyle nudged you gently. “Got a couple things I want to talk ya about.”
Walking sheepishly past Price, who’d already poured a few fingers of whiskey shot a somewhat dryly amused look in your direction before settling down in a chair with his feet propped up and a cigar pinched between two fingers. You expected Kyle to ease up a little once around the corner, but he was still hot on your heels with a hand lingering on your lower back, silently guiding you in the direction of his quarters. Patiently, he whispered the code to his door in your ear and waited for you to open it, holding it so he could go inside without having to put too much weight on his ribs or upper body.
He apparently, had different ideas though. The moment the door shut, you were up against it, and Kyle’s chest flush with yours.
“Question one,” His breath had gotten a little heavier, fanning against your mouth and a hand sliding down from your waist to the swell of your hip. “How long?” You couldn’t help the sensation of heat that wavered up through your body, knowing exactly what he wanted to know. It would be hard enough to lie and give a respectable answer, but telling the truth could be just as nerve-wracking to admit.
“Day Two,” You answered back quietly, looking up at him a little timid. “When you showed me around the base. Thought you were so damn hot… You were wearing that grey and white three-quarter-length t-shirt and jeans…” The image was fresh in your mind, and damn if you still didn’t get excited when he wore that same outfit. Gaz gave a breathy sigh of amusement, grunting a little when he leaned a little too hard against you.
“Fuck… wanted you since Somalia,” He panted, nose brushing against yours and his breathing getting a little more labored. “Couldn’t stand everyone staring at you walking down the street after the mission. Knew everything they were thinkin’… Cause I’d already thought it. Wanted to take you right then and there, show them you were mine.” His hand on your hip tightened, pulling you flush against him and the other arm putting a deep arch in your back. Needing every inch of your body against his despite the discomfort in his ribs rising. He tried lifting you, but quickly grunted lowly out of frustration, pausing your shared excitement as you held your hands against his sides protectively.
“I’m not going anywhere, Kyle…” You whisper, raising up on your toes to meet his height a little easier. “Let’s just take this slow… alright?”
You pressed your lips to his, smiling happily when he began trying to take over. Pushing, pulling, whining, and desperately wanting to handle you a bit more but is very restricted by his own injuries. It was hard balancing the desire you knew he had and keeping him from hurting himself even more than he already was. It was a tedious process, but one you utterly lavished in, and hoped would never end. He just felt like everything you’d dreamed of and more. Tasted like honey and brown sugar with a voice that got more whiney and soft with each kiss and gentle touch. You didn’t know how long you’d been wrapped up in his arms and exploring every inch of him you could when he finally pulled back with a raspy groan, pressing his thumb to your bottom lip with a rich chuckle and smile.
“M’not gonna be able to handle much more tonight, love,” He rolled from his uninjured side onto his back, pulling you along with him until tucked tightly against his side with your head resting on his shoulder. From this angle, you could see him staring up at the ceiling with a hardened, and somewhat embarrassed expression. No doubt upset that he couldn’t deliver at least a little bit more. But you couldn’t even begin to accept him pushing through any amount of pain for something that could wait even one more day. Carefully you rubbed your fingertips over his chest, tracing outlines of muscle and feeling little patches of hair on his chest and lower stomach. It felt like a fantasy, actually touching Kyle Garrick… You felt a little guilty for not paying more attention and limiting just how much you’d been physical. But for the most part, you’d been the more concerned with his pain tolerance while he just kept nonverbally complaining that everything he’d been wanting to do was being unfairly taken from him in a cruel stroke of bad timing and a lucky shot.
“I’m sorry…” You whisper, kissing his cheek and nuzzling the curve in his neck. “Should’ve stopped you sooner. I don’t want you hurting, Kyle. I care care about you too much.”
Kyle laughs, a little too hard for comfort, and holds his ribs with his free hand. “Love, you couldn’t have stopped me. I’ve waited too fucking long, and I don’t have much patience left. I just can’t even breathe hard… and nothing we could do wouldn’t make me… excited.”
Your cheeks went hot with embarrassment, hearing his voice lower at the thought. You hadn’t the slightest clue of exactly what he had in mind, but it was for sure that you wouldn’t be doing much of anything but getting your fill of Kyle Garrick anytime you could get your hands on him, and attempting to keep him from going back to the doctor again; having to explain how he re-injured himself. You giggled to yourself at the idea, and it caught his attention. His eyebrows raised in question and you bit your lip, trying to decide if it was worth telling him. You figured at this point, there was no use in not.
“I was just trying to imagine what you’d say if you needed to go back to the doctor… you know, if you hurt yourself with me.”
A devilish smirk plasters itself to his lips, and he shifts over just enough to have his lips brushing your ear. “You know I don’t talk much… I’ll let ‘em guess just what I was doing to you. I’m sure it’ll be more fun that way. Besides, you’ll have plenty of proof on you that I didn’t go easy.”
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fuck i love gaz <3
Comments & Reblogs are Appreciated
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assorted-candy · 1 year ago
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20 Q's for Fic Writers
I got tagged by @dp-marvel94! Thank you!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 
I've just posted my 22nd work a few days ago!
2. What's your total Ao3 word count?
37,763
3. What fandoms do you write for?
So far, all my published fics are for Danny Phantom. It's a fandom that's near and dear to my heart and my favorite to write for. I've written fanfiction for myself in a lot of different fandoms over the years. Miraculous Ladybug, Mega Man (Star Force, Battle Network) and Fire Emblem are a few. (Will these ever see the light of day? Probs not, lol)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  5. Frayed Ends - 37 kudos - Jazz and Maddie are fighting more often. Jack wants to reach out and help his family. 4. The Same Blood - 45 kudos - Maddie and Jack try to help a sick girl that collapsed in front of their house. They don't know what to make of her condition. Danny wants to help.
3. Returned Home - 49 kudos - Maddie finds Danny at home after he disappeared ten months ago.
2. The Broken Pieces Left Behind - 66 kudos (tie) - Maddie knew what the portal did to Danny. If she could create something that essentially turned him into a ghost, she could figure out a way to fix all of it. Even if she hasn't made any progress in the past two months, she'll keep trying. She didn't account for what Danny wanted. 1 . What's Out of Out Control - 66 kudos (tie) - Danny thought he had it under control. He thought he could finally hang out like they used to always do. Tucker could feel the rift between them widening. It wasn't getting smaller anytime soon.
5. Do you respond to comments?
I try to! There were a few comments from my two earlier fics that I never responded to and it's already been so long and I feel like I ended up putting it off too long to say anything now 😓But I'm so so thankful for all the comments I receive! I never thought anyone would read my work, let alone comment on it. I'm always between two modes of 'author commentary' and 'screaming thank you and running away'.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Lol, I love my angsty stuff and there are so many different flavors of angst, so it's hard to pick just one. I'd say the piece I aimed to write for Angst Fest, The Broken Pieces Left Behind, might be it. It ends on a rather hopeless note for the Fenton family that even I don't know how to make everything better for them
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably Home for a Cat. It was for a Ectoberhaunt prompt that I was absolutely stumped on. So I decided someone was going to adopt a cat by the end of the fic.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Ahh, so I actually posted a fic on FFN wayyy back when I was in high school. I remember it being received pretty well but I got a really rude comment on a simple spelling mistake. Back then, I was just told I had dyslexia a few years prior and I had some really bad self-esteem issues tied in with that. So, yeah, that comment basically made me terrified to ever show my work to anyone ever.
It's been over ten years since then and I wanted to actually get over that fear. I impulsively decided to do Angst Fest with the mindset that no one would even look at what I posted. Not only did people look, everyone has been so kind!!!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
lkdajldkf, nope. I get flustered trying to write basic romance and having two characters hold hands, lmao. Major props to those that can, it's definitely a skill that takes time to master just like any other genre.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I haven't.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Also haven't had this either.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope, but it seems like a lot of fun.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Back when the show was airing, Amethyst Ocean (Danny/Sam) was my go to. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers tropes and it's really nostalgic for me. But, I don't really read a lot of shippy things for Danny Phantom, so ships don't make or break a fic for me.
If I'm looking to read romance, the whole Love Square (MariChat my beloved) with Miraculous Ladybug will always be great. Even if I jumped ship on the show around season 2 or 3 and I have no clue what they're doing now, lol.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I honestly have so many WIPs that are unfinished on my computer from over the years. Maybe a super old one that I titled 'Phantoms in the Daylight'. Angst once more with Character Death as the main pain point. I like the beginning but oh boy, does it get sloppy and confusing real quick. I'd need serious outlining energy put into it if I'd ever want to salvage it and I just don't have it in me.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue! Give me two blorbos and I'll make them talk forever.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Scenery and description. I love the dialogue portion so much that I end up running into the floating heads in an empty room problem in the first drafts of my fics. My first round of edits are dedicated to making sure I have a scene and grounding characters into it. And then I have to go back later to make it not feel so robotic sounding.
(Also a weakness but more as in fic than writing. Summaries and Titles. I stare at my drafts on AO3's editor for at least half an hour trying to pull something together, lol)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I can probably talk about this for hours, lol. I absolutely love foreign languages, especially when it comes to linguistics. So, I'll try to be brief, lmao. Short answer: depends on the fic but normally no. I already spend so much time fussing over the word choice/slang/formality/dialect characters use in my native language. I don't have a good enough grasp on another language for it to sound natural to the reader. ("They would not fucking say that" is my internal monologue during dialogue edits, lol)
19. First fandom you wrote for?
It's a toss up between Pokemon and Danny Phantom. I first learned about fanfiction from a friend who showed me FFN for the Pokemon fics. I looked around the site and found all of the Danny Phantom fics soon after and got hooked on those. I started writing around then and it would have been for one of those two.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Hard to chose one! Writing technicality wise, I'm proud of how What Remains on the Table turned out. I consider description my weak point, so the original draft was 0 dialogue with very stiff descriptions. I was able to edit it to really practice my environmental storytelling. (Although, please mind the tags if you click the link as it does deal with the dissection topic)
I'm not sure who's been tagged and I'm not sure who writes fanfic, so @lavendarlily, @fangirlwriting-stories, @grub-xd, @nanaarchy and anyone else that wants to join!
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antisociallilbrat · 2 years ago
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Okay, I'm coming clean, lol, I'm Kori– Hi, I'm your brainworms' unofficial feeder 😂 Feel free to keep calling me Kori or change to Allen <3
Sorry that I didn't come out sooner, I get so nervous asking people about the stuff going on in my brain that I just automatically go to Anon just to get them out. I just got the courage today.
I still mean it when I said I love your takes, they're freaking amazing and I never get tired of reading them. I wish I could think like you, honestly.
ANYWAYS–
So I've been thinking of writing a long-term IT x Stranger Things crossover fic where the Losers Club are all numbered experiments like Eleven but managed to escaped. I haven't fleshed out the fine details yet but if you're interested, I'll be more than happy for suggestions!
Anyways, what I've been wanting to figure are their powers. What would they be and how does those powers suit and compliment the Losers' personalities. I've thought of giving them telekinetic abilities just like El but I thought that wouldn't be that complimentary to them except maybe to Richie? ( for some reason, the thought of Richie looking like El when she jerks her head to the side and breaks someone's bones spooks me lol ) then I thought of giving them the powers similar to their Neibolt selves; Beverly has pyrokinesis, Eddie has acid fluids, Stan can control spiders and detach his head to become a spider, Bill will probably have like sharp teeth and hunter like skills ( idk ), Richie will either have the ability to turn into a werewolf, be invisible ( connected to his fear of disappearing ), or something about being a doll. But if I go with that, it will leave out Mike and Ben. So now I'm conflicted.
Any suggestions?
AAAAAA Kori this makes me so happy you have no idea. And do you have a preference for what name I use?
Everytime you pop into my inbox I get so excited bc I know my brain worms are about get FED and you encourage my silliness and my takes. It's totally okay btw!! Trust me when I say I understand anxiety/nervousness 🥲
AND HOLY SHIT THAT'S SUCH A GOOD AU
I can see where you'd want to pull from the Neilbolt versions and it works for them. Bev having pyrokinesis is so cool and Eddie being having acid fluids. For Bill maybe you could do shapeshifting? Like how he looks normal but then he shape shifts his teeth being sharper and can just shapeshift in general to have more monster like features when he needs it. I like Stan and the spider thing, VERY Henry Creel vibes and it's freaky. For Richie maybe you can incorporate the 'doll' aspect to him being physically mute- like how the doll's mouth is sewn shut. Then a fun power would be Richie being able to project into people's minds and talk to them that way. Poor Stan can't tune him out that way. Idk just a few suggestions! I really like what you've thought for these Losers already though
Ben and Mike are tricky if you're trying to stay on theme. Hmmm maybe relate it back to how It interacts with them? Like Pennywise tries to make Ben feel like his friends don't like him and with being the new kid maybe being able to turn invisible would be Ben? Then with Mike Pennywise calls him a 'mad man' so maybe super intelligence? But Mike is such an animal man and I've always thought him being able to communicate with animals would be cool.
I'm always done to talk about this with you, I really hoped I helped 😭 and my messages are also open as well! Got me all feeling all emotional that you sought my silly ole input on this fuckin dope idea 🥲
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the--highlanders · 1 year ago
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choose violence ask game (loving the name of that btw) - 8, 16, & 23?
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
(this fandom is so small that I don't want to sound like I'm vagueblogging or @-ing someone or anything so I'm just gonna preface this by saying this also goes for plenty of licensed media)
oh man ok. at risk of sounding like a total killjoy who takes everything too seriously & looks too much into stuff. I'm pretty sensitive about. primitivism in the way jamie gets portrayed?? is the best way I can think to describe it?? anything that implies that where & when he comes from means that he's inherently less intelligent, or equates his lack of knowledge on some things with him being stupid. can't stand him being reduced to dumb guy who hits stuff. idiot who has no critical thinking skills or reasoning.
and like, I get that it's a fairly common assumption, the idea that people from the past weren't as smart because they didn't know as much (even setting aside the devaluing of /different/ ways of knowing & understanding) - but, say, victoria never gets this treatment. despite also being from the past. which then leads you to think, hey, why would people make that assumption about jamie and not about victoria?
and then you get to a bunch of ideas which have been kicking around since. before jamie's time, real-world-historically speaking. which depict the highlands as savage, as populated by 'wild' people, by - well - 'primitives'. speakers of a primitive language. violent, at worst, strong, at best, but never intelligent. & this is all starting to sound a lot like the ideas that buttress colonialism and biological determinism, isn't it?
idk. this is a silly 60s family tv show & a very very small online fandom. it's kind of not that deep. but any time jamie gets written off as being inherently stupid (often /because/ of where he comes from), and any time that idea is the foundation of a joke, it rubs me the wrong way, and this is why.
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
gfdhkjsg once again this is a v small fandom so 'so many people' is kinda like..... 2 people max probably. & also I've been sort of keeping more or less to myself for a couple years now in terms of actually discussing thoughts & headcanons (except you obviously and also @ettelwenailinon who is always right about everything despite not being super active in dr who fandom on tumblr anymore <3)
gonna go with shipping jamie and victoria tbh. absolutely no hate if you do bc I can definitely see where it comes from in canon/behind the scenes stuff but it is just,,, not for me at all, and so antithecal to how I write/interpret their characters.
23. ship you've unwillingly come around to
tenrose?? weirdly?? not that I'd say I actively ship it (there is one (1) tenrose fic in my ao3 bookmarks but it's really there bc it's a pretty charming magical realism au and the voices of all the characters are just so spot on rather than bc I ever crave reading about the ship) but. when I got into dr who in 2013 there felt like there was a pretty solid line between rtd fans and moffat fans. & I have always vibed with moffat's era more (neither of them are above criticism obviously, the scifi fairytale aesthetic/tone of moffat's era is just so so so so tailor-made for me personally).
and for some reason tenrose and elevenriver were kind of. bundled into that opposition?? not sure if that was just in my head or something other people noticed/experienced but I felt like if you were a moffat fan you had to ship elevenriver & if you were an rtd fan you had to ship tenrose, and they were like. rivals. (yes I did try very half-heartedly to enjoy elevenriver. no I never succeeded). so I always had this thing of like, I don't like ten, I don't like tenrose.
like I said I still don't actively ship it, I don't get any warm fuzzy feelings from their relationship, but I did go back into rtd's era looking to actively enjoy stuff (after being tired of really not enjoying uh. recent seasons ajhksglf) and found that I didn't hate the concept of tenrose as much as I used to. I genuinely believed they liked each other, I felt the hubris of their relationship worked and built well narratively. never thought that ship would get a redemption arc in my head but I've definitely gained more appreciation for its role in the narrative.
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avocadoguru · 2 years ago
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hnnnnggg i'm speechless 😶 you two did it again i'm so horny for wolfrry. i would be his cum hole for him during his rut. i would let him knot in me all day long. 💦 cum on me. cum in me. let me eat it 🍽️, bathe in it 🛁, moisturize with it 🧴. i'm losing my mind after that update.
if i can't have wolfrry in real life i'm gonna just re read every chapter every week until you update. i'm so obsessed. and i know i just sound like some horndog but you two actually write it so well - so fucking detailed and real and gritty. your style is very very high quality and distinct. and its seamless. i'm amazed at your skill. phenominal.
now back to horny days the feedback `` leaving us like that at the end was cruel but i love that you did it because that whole chapter was porn for me and anymore and i'd have combusted and passed away. i'm feral over his rut but if the next chapter is going to start like i think it is i'm going. to. lose. my. mind. hear me out 👂🏾wolfrry goes in like a caveman. he's still on his rut so he's gonna absolutely destroy her pussy with his mouth and his fingers. he's not gonna let up. it's gonna make her cry and squirt, and beg, and shake, and elevate to a new existence. he's actually going to make her fall in love with him. the moment he's done with her she's going to sit up and look at him and realize this is the man she's going to spend the rest of her life with.
back to the actual chapter -sorry i got off track there, *ahem*- that blow job nearly ended me. the necklace tapping his balls??????? i'm never going to be the same after reading that. and their chat on niall balcony was really nice to have in there. i liked harry's thoughts about himself, and how he interprets y/ns concern. his character is so interesting and complex -bravo there ladies. and i forgot about the chip she put in eddie 🤭 that's so funny but it also shows she's hiding a secret from him too. even though he's definitely doing a lot more lying and keeping secrets, but now we really understand why! he's protecting her in a way.
i'm super curious about the chick who was supposed to be harry's mate. i know that's going to be coming back around and i can't wait to see where that goes.
and then there's eddie who was really going through it when he missed his uncle harry. i love that he had her watch him during his rut. he's really trusting her when he couldn't trust anyone else in his pack. i feel like that's very big in the story actually. harry not feeling like his pack is trustworthy and then add in niall's advice 👀 i'm thinking you two are setting us up for him leaving the pack for yn, but how does that work? can he just abandon them? will the pack elect a new leader? i feel like it'll be a lot more angsty than that. i'm so curious to see how it will happen.
i'm also wondering when she's going to realize he's got her panties! i keep thinking maybe it'll be brought up again and i'm sure you have plans for it but i can't get that out of my head either.
guhhhhh this chapter was just so thoughtful, sexy, funny, and informative. just amazing.
(@gurugirl here) WOW. LoL!!! Thank you, anon :) And you do totally sound like a horndog but that just means you've come to the right place 😂 Your theories and ideas are very interesting actually, you bring up some very good points and these are all things Dreea and I will make sure are unveiled in time. And I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of that female alpha 👀
Eddie was going through it wasn't he? Poor guy. He just misses his uncle Harry, but don't worry. He'll perk up the moment he sees him. But you're spot on about Harry trusting her with his nephew.
I'm so glad you can see how complex Harry's character is too! He's definitely not just your basic hot headed beast man (lol) - he's got deep feelings and is still learning about himself and working to fit into Y/N's world the best he can. And yes, he's lying to her a lot, but now you see why. He's not just lying to lie and to get her into his bed (well, part of it is for that 🤭) he's protecting her! This will be important to the story.
Thank you so so so much for your amazing feedback and compliments too. It's really an ego booster when we see things like this.
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winters-hysteria · 2 years ago
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nsfw aged up f. hargreeves nsfw alphabet
you've been warned, minors din
A= Aftercare (what they're like after the act)
i feel like five would seem like he's trying not to care but seeing you laying there all pretty after he's ruined you turns on his absolute *need* to make sure you're okay
B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)
his favorite part of himself is his hands. they're strong and really nice looking, and he can use them to grab you/push you around roughly and/or gently pin your wrists down 
fav part of you is your ass. there was this one scene (can't remember the episode) but he stared at somebody walking out the door with a really weird smile and his eyes popping out and idk i feel like he'd do the same thing to you walking out a door, just stare and then klaus walks over like "eheheheh whatcha lookin' at buddy buddy boy bro brother homie" and he's just like "oh nothing nothing that interests ur gay ass anyways"
C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)
he'd love to finish inside you, but even if you don't let/want him to (which he will totally respect) he likes to cum in your mouth or your breasts, even if you are a part of the itty bitty titty community
tbh i think he'd like that even more bc (he has a size kink i'll get into that next )
D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)
he has a SIZE KINK. a really really nearly insatiable size kink. 
i believe he'd like it if his S/O was really small / petite cause it makes him look SO MUCH BIGGER than you and goddammit if he doesn't get even hornier when you're on your knees for him and he looks down to see ur pretty lil hand wrapped around his cock
E= Experience (do they know what they're doing)
seeing as i write for five in his 20s, i think he might know sort of what he's doing but he's gonna need a lot of guidance. he also likes to play dumb when it comes to touching you cause he likes seeing you touch yourself and also it helps a lot with him learning what and where to touch
F= Favorite position
uhhhh this mfer's favorite position is 100% cowgirrrrrl
he loves seeing you on top of him I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH
either that or having you below him is just *AAAAAAA*
G= Goofy (how serious are they)
he can be really really serious, but this man does crack jokes in the bedroom from time to time.
H= Hair (grooming habits)
he keeps himself  pretty nicely groomed, cause yk carpet matches the drapes
and also i hc that he just feels gross if he doesn't
I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)
god oh god oh god
the can be *SO* rough, but during nights when he has you all to himself, it's slow, sensual,,,, mmmmmmm yummy
J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)
he does this whenever you're not around, but his right hand will never ever evah substitute for the feeling of your warmth clenching around him.
K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)
bondage, daddy, sadomasochistic power top, dom/sub vibes, possibly a little bit of wax play, definite knife play, coffee kink, mommy kink mommy kink mommy KINK, power play, size kink, choking kink, degradation/praise, roleplay
L= Location (where they like to get it on)
literally anywhere but prefers his bed or yours so he can tie you up
M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)
you could probably wave to him and he'd be half hard, like baby you don't need to do anything just move two steps to the left and ur gonna get your pussy pounded
N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won't do)
he absolutely will not get you pregnant, bitch. you've got a world to save, he doesn't have time to be a dad.
scat, piss, vomit, necro, that type of stuff
O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)
fuc-king hell he loves giving, but won't ever say no to a good ol' bj
P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)
he can last a l o n g time. 
he also won't change his pace unless you beg for it
Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)
he likes quickies, but really prefers to go nice and soft and slow with you
R= Risk (do they like to try new things)
he's open to it, but ya know he doesn't want to hurt you.
S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)
im saying about ten or so and then he gets tired
T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers) 
has a whole ass collection of bad dragon products to use on you
U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)
oh lord this man will tease you until you are barely conscious.. 
"you like that little slut?"
the HEAVY breathing *UH*
when you do dominate him, he loves to be teased and will literally scream your name when you finally let him cum.
V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)
definite heavy panting, but since he doesn't really have a filter he moans a lot too
he will degrade/praise tf outta you baby
W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)
okay but he wants you to top him.
he gets tired of topping sometimes and just wants to let you take over.
so do it, baby. 
do it.
X= X-ray (what's down below in dem pants)
i'm thinking he's a little above average, 7 inches or so
thick, veiny, and a pretty pink head :>
Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)
he is ALWAYS horny and always looking for some way to grind against you or just fuck the shit outta you
Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)
so he falls asleep about an hour after because that's when his body just starts to shut down, but he doesn't realise that so sometimes he'll be standing upright doing something and then all the sudden you have to catch him bc he just fell asleep standing
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Text
🏅Being Team Japan's Manager 🏅
Being Tendou's Baby Sister
and Dating Ushiwaka
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Ushijima Wakatoshi featuring Team Japan x YN Tendou
Warnings: kissing, pda, butt grabbing, oikawa
AN: This is a request from @queen-aria-things!
🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠
Ok hear me out YN Tendou
God I love that for you 😭
Seriously Tendou would be the COOLEST sibling
Anyways back on track Tiffany 👏🏻
Tendou always knew you had a huge mega crush on Ushiwaka
Let's say you are two years younger
So you were a first year when the Tendou and Ushi were third years
Literally you would come to practice just to witness all that was Ushijima Wakatoshi
First off, I do not blame you YN
Please take pictures for me 📷
Eventually you were just showing up so much that Coach Gremlin Washijō just made you the teams manager
This made your stalking observing of Ushiwaka way more convenient
Alas Ushiwaka for the most part ignored you 😔
Sure he was nice to you but the man was FOCUSED
Literally his schedule was as follows...
Eat, sleep, wonder why Oikawa didn't come to Shiratorizawa, Volleyball, repeat
Nevertheless, you continued your advances
Just small things here and there trying to get him to acknowledge you ☺️
But in the end, it all failed 😔
But being a Tendou, you weren't discouraged
Oh no no no
You see, things always have a funny way of working themselves out
Tendou totally gave you a mental pep talk
He wanted to blab your crush to Ushijima but you told him you'd never forgive him 😑
So he kept his trap shut 😒
After the third years left, you continued to hone your volleyball skills 🏐
Heck you even went on to manage the college Boys Volleyball Team
Honestly the skill set you possessed YN 💅
All this time, you were extremely close with your brother
He might be in France 🇫🇷 living his dream making chocolate
But you talk to him almost daily
And incidentally, he was also still besties with Ushiwaka 👀
So when Tendou told Ushiwaka how you had managed and help take your team all the way to college level nationals
Ushiwaka was impressed 👏🏻
And let's just say, it takes alot of impress that man
Thus opened the flood gates for you to make your way onto Team Japan 🏅
Ushijima reached out to you and you were honestly too stunned to speak 😳
Ok YN breathe! Just. Stay. Calm.
Forget that, panic YN!
Ushi asked you if you'd be interested in coming to interview for the manager position
Of course you jumped on that opportunity 🙄
You'd be stupid not too
Again, Iwaizumi is the athletic trainer YN
Need I say more??
You got all professionally dressed up and you looked STUNNING
Dude imagine Tendou's red hair in long sheets 😫😫😫
That's you, freaking SPECTACULAR
Switching to Ushi for a second 👀
The mans never forgot you
I mean he always liked you but you were so young when he first met you
You were basically a little sister to him
UGH FRIEND ZONED 😭
But one look at you walking into the stadium, hair down your back and dressed up 👀
Mans did not think of you as a sister anymore 😆
Suddenly he's flooded with feelings
Mans will instantly know he's going to make you his
However 👀
The rest of Team Japan will make it anything but easy for him 😅
Legit, you start working for the team a few weeks later
Obviously you are a huge asset because you not only know volleyball but you've been a manager 💅
Premium skill set achieved ✔️
The guys will all vie for your attention
And Ushijima is going to be put to the test 😅
First off, Ushijima totally calls Tendou after your interview to make sure your single
Seriously this man knows what he wants and will waste no time
Tendou is like 👉🏻👋🏻👁⭕️👁👋🏻
He's honestly so excited 😊
Please he's an amazing wingman
Like he even needs to try and sell you 🤣
Ushijima is whipped from the start
At practice, Ushijima will try to remain calm when you work with his teammates
If anything, Ushi is sensible 👌🏻
Seriously, he knows it's your job to work with the team
But that doesn't include them touching you 👀
So when Atsumu grabs you around the waist to position you properly
Ushijima is going to flip
Mans was in the middle of a spike when he saw it happen
The floor board breaks 😳
All eyes snap to Ushi who is now prowling to you
Yes prowling
Like a freaking 🦁
He stops and glares at Atsumu 😑
"Don't touch my YN"- Ushiwaka
You 👉🏻😃 whet
Atsumu 👉🏻😐🤨
Everyone else 👉🏻🍿🧎‍♀️
Literally Ushiwaka has had ENOUGH
Will drag you out of the gym
You just follow... stunned 😲
"YN, go out with me?"- Ushijima
You👉🏻😃 whet
"I like you YN"- Ushijima
You 👉🏻 😃 whet
"Dinner tonight?"- Ushijima
You 👉🏻 😃 ok
*Ushi walks away* 🚶‍♂️
Blink twice if you are lucid YN!
Immediately after practice you call your brother
Dude he's SO excited 🤗
Literally planning your wedding already 💑
After you date with Ushijima, things go pretty fast
I mean you've had a crush on the mans forever and now he likes you back 😏
Which means, you are his YN
And oh my gawd he's protective 🙃
Like he hoovers
Don't get me wrong, he allows you to do your own thing but when anyone, other than the team, it near you
😚 it's about to go down!
When the Atsumu incident happened, Ushi make it clear that you were his
Atsumu of course tested those boundaries
But that stopped quickly when Ushiwaka's spikes suddenly switched direction 🤔
How odd 😅
But it wasn't until the Olympics that you truly saw how protective your man was
Legit, I will use any and all excuses to bring this man into my Team Japan headcannons 🤣
I think we all know whose about to make an appearance 😬
That's right!
Your brother, Tendou Satori 👐🏻
And you guys thought I was going to say Oikawa 😒
He's coming later
Tendou and you share a few moments before Japan's match
Hugging and catching up while Ushijima warms up
"Who are you guys playing?"- Tendou
"Umm I think Argentina?"- You
Tendou 👉🏻😃 did you say Argentina?
*silence* then 👀👀
"Did someone summon me?"- Oikawa
🙄🙄🙄
"Umm hello there"- you 👋🏻 😁
"Well hello there gorgeous and who might you be?"- Oikawa
Tendou 👉🏻😃 oh no...
"Umm I'm YN, the manager for Team Japan! And you are?"- You
Suddenly a giant arm wraps around your waist and you are pulled close to a fuming Ushijima
Do you guys remember in season 3 when he was like radiating heat?
This 👇🏻
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Yeah that's what he's doing now
"Ahh the great stoic Ushiwaka"- Oikawa
Tendou, quick run and grab the fire extinguisher 🧯
"Oikawa"- Ushiwaka 😑
"I was just talking to your gorgeous manager here and hoping I could snag her number"- Oikawa
Ope 😃
"Sorry Oikawa, YN's mine"- Ushijima, imposing as ever
Oikawa 👉🏻😃 whet
You 👉🏻😅👋🏻
Tendou 👉🏻🖐🏻👁⭕️👁🖐🏻
"Come on baby, let's get back to the gym"- Ushijima
Mans will go over the top in showing affection too
Potential butt squeeze and/or hip grab in front of Oikawa 💅
Petty AF but we love to see it 👏🏻
Once you get back to the gym, Ushijima is going to give you the longest kiss in history appropriate for public 😉
He's fired up YN 🤚🏻
Consider your plight as an opportunity for team Japan to win
Suddenly Ushiwaka's spikes seem to be aimed at a certain brown haired setter 👀
Iwaizumi approves this message 👌🏻
And you just sigh, knowing perfectly well what you got yourself into 👐🏻
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kookiecrumb · 3 years ago
Text
jjk|| Your Head
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"tags": @kazthebrekkerofinej
word count: uhhhh
summary: Jungkook is the heir to the throne of your Kingdom! In this tale of duty versus heart, will love prevail victorious?
tags: Royalty!Jungkook x Peasant!Reader, oneshot, smut, fluff, slight angst, some crack, pining, forbidden lovers, Jungkookie has a sweet tooth, strangers to friends to lovers
warnings: explicit language, impact play, birthday sex (technically), fingering, oral (m receiving*), love marking, alcohol consumption, s&m themes, horny grinding, praise kink/body worship
a/n:
hey guys!
Firstly, I want to say how proud I am of myself for growing so much during this fic. I learned a lot about what I'm comfortable with, what I'd like to work on, and where my confidences lie.
I won't lie and say it's been easy, because writing this meant dealing with a lot of my fears? I'm excited for all the works that are to come.
The only thing I can do is be as receptive to growth as possible, so I'm looking forward to learning...
*I actually learned that Vaseline wasn't invented until like the 1870s? The fic is written in the 1810s, so I actually had a choice between having them do it with vegetable oil or spit. Spit won.
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5 years ago
You bend over to pick up an apple that had rolled over under your father's produce cart, praying that it isn't bruised so that you have to pay for it out of your dinner, when a crumpled piece of paper hits you in the ass.
Confused, you crawl out from under the stand and unwrap the paper.
The paper itself is of the finest quality you've ever seen. It's a sturdy cardstock, bleached white with gold etchings on the borders. The print on the top of it reads "His Highness Jeon's Royal Study," and scribbled in some kid's amateur cursive below, "Nice butt."
You directed your gaze upwards, towards the towering castle walls. Sure enough, a boy no older than 15 had his noggin popping out from the top of the rampart, with two wide eyes staring down, curious as to your reaction. This was Prince Jungkook, heir to the throne of your kingdom.
"Shouldn't you be equestrian horse riding or playing polo or something?" You shout. He furrows his eyebrows, apparently offended at your assumption, and then disappears behind the edifice.
Moments later, another paper hits your shoulder as you're practicing your caligraphy behind your cart. It lands between the apples, so you reach your hand over and fish out out.
You glance up at the anticipant, and sure enough he's there with his doe eyes and his coconut head, ogling.
"No, dumbie. That's at MID-day." Well how were YOU supposed to know the royal schedule of the crown prince, it wasn't just common knowlegde you learned from being a humble farmer's daught--
Ah!
"Will you STOP?!" You put your foot down. "Unless you're here to buy my apples, then you're not getting ANY, little Prince." Oh, shit. You gave him ideas. Now it was really over for you.
In less than half an hour, half a company of men arrived at the marketplace, asking about your little old apple stand, and sure enough, Jungkook had bought out the entire cart so that you were forced to help with the transaction.
The young prince had eyes frankly too big for his head, with the most prominent cupid's bow you've ever seen. His nose slightly outgrew his face and his ears were hidden away behind his short, black hair. "Now you can talk to me." He gave you a rose he'd stolen from the royal garden. "I am Jungkook, heir to the throne of--"
"I know who you are." You interrupt him, documenting His Highness' total in your calligraphy book.
With a hand perched on his chest from surprise, he scoffed. "And I happen to think you're really pretty, so I was going to ask you to be my very first consor--"
"You're 15, you have playmates not consorts."
"And how old are you?!" He's had it, raising his voice and taking a bite out of one of your apples with force.
"16, old enough to have suitors." You tease. Jungkook hangs his head a little. He just needed someone to talk to, it would seem. Reluctantly, you scribbled down your address down on a piece of note paper and handed it to him.
"Look, if you buy more of my apples, I'll have an excuse to tell my Dad so I can hang out with you." You spoke in a low voice as to not raise suspicion.
Your dad is standing negotiating with the guards about prices, his usual embarassing haggling gruffly overpowering the guards elegant twiddle-tones.
"Wonderful! See you soon, my sweet!" He resumes his confident demeanor, tucking the paper into his overcoat with a small smile. He salutes you boyishly and marches away with a year's supply of apples.
For the next week, the royal kitchen had baked 3 apple pies, made 5 fruit salads, 4 batches of apple muffins, and threw the rest of them in Sangria; that's the same Sangria as King Jeon finds himself drinking in his wife's drawing room on Sunday.
"Call Chef, fetch him up here." He waves to his assistant, keeping his eyes on the outside. He was deep in thought, his hands stoicly behind his back.
The Kingdom had been prosperous for over many years now, and war had not come close to threatening its borders in a lifetime. Negotiations were always successful, and quality of living was high. The work of a King, in a situation such as this, was to perfect the image of the royal family as strong rulers, and to paint his daughters as desirable to foreign heirs.
"Your Grace," the assistant called his attention, "Head Chef Sung." The dainty man bows and scurries off somewhere else.
Chef Sung is a portly man, who carries himself heaving with every step, his great belly inflating with each hefty inhale. He approaches the King, and kneels down to kiss his hand with his fat lips.
The King recoils in disgust, but quickly collects himself and his words. "Where are these apples from, is it France or Spain?" He demands.
"Neither, Your Highness." Mr.Sung lifts up his eyes. "They are from our Holy Kingdom; by order of Prince Jungkook, an entire cart was purchased of these apples and we have not been able to get rid of them." Tears threatened Chef Sungs eyes at the very mention of the fruit.
'Well, there's one thing the kid's done right.' King Jeon now faces the Chef, setting down his drink on a mahogany table, leaning against it casually. "Well! Good. I'd like to meet the owner of that cart, invite him to my Sunday brunch."
"Oh, yes, of course sir! You'll never see them in our kitchen aga--What?" Chef Sung takes out his handkerchief, waving it around in the air and drying his tears at once. "So you like them! Why...Yes! Yes, of course!"
Your father thought it would be valuable to have you around the kitchen, learning from the skilled men and women employed by the Jeon family. He only visited once a week to drop off fresh produce, (he'd been officially hired to handle restocking of goods) but you, after showing promising signs of being a gifted baker during one of your father's restocks, were granted scholarship by Ms.Kang to be her aid.
You were now, officially, a resident of the Jeon Estate, residing in the servant's quarters, immediately adjacent to the kitchen. This was convenient. It was far too convenient for a certain little Prince to get the idea of wanting a midnight snack and wandering downstairs.
One day, he does just that. He finds his way into the first bedroom to the right of the stairs facing the kitchen, and that happens to be your bedroom.
He pokes you awake. "Ow! Ow, whyyy~" You whine and toss yourself over to the other side of the bed. His irritating poking persists. You grab his fingers and your eyes shatter open.
You sit up, alarmed. "You could have me arrested, what the fuck are you doing?!"
"I wanted a midnight snack! Besides, I wanna talk to you." He pouts, still holding a small teddy companion.
"Fine. I'll bake you ONE sheet of cookies." You slip on your night shoes and shuffle to the kitchen, and Jungkook tags along.
By the time Jungkook's 18th birthday comes around, he's in the kitchen helping you whisk buttercream to top his cake while having a tease at the Austrian Princess' mole.
"You have one right under your lip, look!" You take a little buttercream from the bowl and stain the dark spot with it.
He licks it up and hastens to add, "it needs more sugar, lady!" as he turns to grab a puffy bag of confection sugar.
"You're impossible to please." Snatching the sugar away from him, you smirk. "You can gobble down as many sweets as you want when the ball commences. Remember, this is the year you're supposed to be keeping your eye out for a girl of a good fam--"
"Yada yada, must have hips for childbearing, yada yada yada..." He mocks the speech his mother had told him that morning when he got dressed.
"Exactly." You set your bowl aside to fix Jungkook's tie. "Yes, and that's your duty, as our heir."
You step back and examine Jungkook one more time. He'd grown so tall in the last year, his legs like spider's and he was just beginning to grow into his features. Handsome boy.
You, too, had grown into an elegant young woman. You had a poised complexion, ready-mannered and graceful. Your hands seemed out of place in your otherwise feminine frame, carrying an extra bit of girth from baking. You were 19 years old.
Marriage was becoming an uncomfortably frequent topic during your visits home, as your mother had married young, herself, she expected the same of you.
Truth be told, there were plenty of offers for your hand. You were a skilled and very esteemed individual, who had broken into thr artisinal class. But your father knew better than put a dowry on your happiness. So long as you worked, he saw no reason to marry you off just yet.
"Now, go. Your sisters must be worried sick! Go out there." You shoo him, pushing him out the door of the kitchen despite his flailing arms.
Throughout the party, you'd been carrying a platter of your own baked goods, serving them to the aristocrats attending the Princes' coming-of-age ball. Accents from all over Europe and some from Kingdoms as far East as Cyprus jubilantly engaged in artful conversation which filled the air with good spirits.
Jungkook, himself, was busy being introduced to as many women as possible, a medley of presenting duchesses, ladies, and even Princesses of your Kingdom. They were each more qualified than you'll ever be, ten-fold.
One was a Greek Princess, her hair cascaded in darling curls down her shoulders and her eyes were deep-set, her voice a flirtatious trill.
Another, a Prussian Princess', posture radiated excellency, and whose complexion sparkled like powdered snow. Jungkook greeted her warmly, pleased with her appearance.
Distracted, you tripped up your skirt and dropped the remainder of your pastries. With that, you stepped off to use the restroom.
The sound of Strauss' Rosen aus dem Süden faintly loomed in the air as you wiped tears from your waterline in the mirror. That was just the way it was, wasn't it? Princes come of age, and they find wives who they commit their lives to.
"Married men don't have friends who are girls." You say out loud, just to realize it. Jungkook was now expected to find a mate within the season, and he was, in fact, quite the eligible bachelor.
Little did you know that Jungkook had been keeping an eye out for you throughout the party, not only because you were carrying his favorite Danish pastires, but because he knew your company was his greatest comfort.
He's in the midst of greeting the Duchess of Kent when he excuses himself to go look for you. He finds your mess first, frowning as he realizes something has gone terribly wrong.
He catches you in the hallway, face puffy and shaky. He grabs your wrist to keep you from darting back to the kitchen.
"Please don't do this, it's my birthday, y/n." It's as if an unspoken rule had been broken between you, and he feels it. Something is making you uncomfortable. "Was it the girls? You told me about this, it's my duty to at least greet them and--"
"Yeah, you sure did greet the Prussian woman nicely." You speak through tears. "She's the girl you were born to be with, huh? Your birthright?"Jungkook is silent. "Every girl at that ball wants to be your wife, want to have your children. They haven't known you for a day and yet they're ready to be your bride."
You search Jungkook's eyes for any sign of coherence, hoping that he would defend against you, that he would speak up and tell you otherwise. No such argument comes.
You yank your arm from his grip and march to the kitchen to remake the pastries you spilled.
You had the job of clearing off all the tables upon the departure of the last guests. It is midnight, and the windows of the castle stream moonlight down on the carpet beneath your feet. The glow of candles soothe you as you hum the waltzes which echo in your mind. It's a brilliant evening.
The centerpieces of the tables were gardenias, lush rose-like flowers with yellow pistils.
Summer, 1809
"Jungkook, wait! You're going to make me trip!" You shout from the top of the hill.
"You've gotta come see before the sun sets! It's the only way we'll get there on time, now run!" Jungkook's speeding down the terrain towards the Sycamore tree which grew deep and wide beneath the banks of a great rushing river.
You groan and throw caution to the wind, rolling down the steep mount in your Sunday dress. Jungkook turns to watch you, a grin spreading across his handsome face. "Look at you!"
You land on your feet at the bottom and scurry off to join Jungkook under the grandfather tree, out of breath entirely. "Now, look what you made me do. You're such a boy, you know that?! Making me come out here just to see some bloody--"
Jungkook has plucked a gardenia and placed it behind your ear. "Would you shut up? We got here on time. Behold."
In all its glory, the sun bathes you in its vivacious rays, creating a feeling of heavenly bliss as it dips below the horizon. The sky blushes pink, its clouds mere whisps above you. Wind rustles the leaves of the grand tree, rousing the birds to chirp their afternoon song.
"Mom used to come here all the time with my Dad, because of these." Jungkook clasped the blooming flower in his tender hands.
After a while, he says "the bugs will come out soon, so we ought to go back," as if he's trying not to scare something away. He helps you up, and with one last look across the valley, you walk next to each other back to the East Quarters.
You take all the silverware and plates by the tub to the dish-washing station and toss all of the linen napkins into the washing machine. All you had left was to blow out the lights in leading upstairs.
"Prince! It is very late, and there are no guests left for you to entertain. What troubles you?" Jungkook's sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands, still wearing his best suit.
"I disappointed you, y/n...I didn't like any of them." He admits, lifting his head up to sulk at you. "I should have told you then, but I didn't want to make you upset!"
Did Jungkook mistake your jealousy for disappointment?
"I'm not upset because you didn't hit it off with the girls..." You sigh. A confession is due, and he's ready to hear the truth from you about how you feel about him.
"Well, the truth is, I didn't like any of the girls because I like you, y/n. But you know that, don't you?" You pause, asking him to elaborate.
"Remember when I bought all the apples because I wanted to be with you? Like...I told you that you were my consort and I kind of meant it?" He felt pathetic now, realizing that you weren't just ignoring his advances. "So you didn't friendzone me for 2 years, you actually didn't know that I liked you."
It was almost laughable, a situation you would read in one of your illegal novels which you kept tucked away in your pillow at night. "No, Kookie, I didn't." You admit to your insolence.
You can't bear to lead him on any longer. You needed to put duty over your own self interest for the sake of the kingdom, even if it shattered his hope. It was better this way.
"But, you do know that we can't ever be a thing, right? It's just silly." Your heart tightens with the words which fall out of your mouth. "It is. Nevermind what your parents would think, what would it do for your image? You're on the world's stage, Jungkook, and you're a selfish person if you think you can just throw all of your duties away to date a scum of the Earth like-- like me!" With your heart in your throat, dry your eyes with your sleeve. "And...I want to, I really really want to, more than anything else to love you, Jungkook. I love you! I...can't." Through the blur of your tears, the shapeless blob that Jungkook has become stands up.
Taking his thumb and swiping it under your eyes, he sighs. Words escaping him, he takes your trembling body against his chest and nestles his head in the crook of your neck. Your cold hands travel underneath his overcoat to hold his waist. The Princes' lips plant a gentle kiss on your neck, chaste yet deep and satisfying.
"I will not accept any bride if not you, my love." He draws back, meeting your fervid gaze. "To the world, I remain a bachelor for a few years."
"And after those years, Jungkook?" You ride your hands up to caress the man's jaw. "You will still love me after those years, and then what?"
"I don't know," he says, voice as soft as powder. "I don't know many things, y/n, that's why I need you to teach me." His palms are rubbing at your waist, beckoning you closer.
His breath quickening as you lean your body against his hold, and you figure it must be the wine he drank to calm his nerves. That was it, wasn't it? He was drunk.
"You're not drunk, are you?" Your face sours, really hoping it's not the case as you feel your body temperature rise.
"Y/N, I've only had a glass. You saw I was a wreck back there." His lips kept chasing yours in a dance you can't quite describe. "I have wanted to hold you like this since I saw you selling apples on the street. Give me the honor..." His forehead against yours and his strong hands supporting your back, he's already fucking you with his eyes.
"The pleasure of being your lover." He squeezes your waist tight with his forearms, planting brisk kisses behind your ear and breathing in your scent. He smiles against you. Your skin pebbles at his affectionate touch, purring softly as your eyes roll back in delight.
"Kookie..." You breathe, leaning on his broad chest. "Kook, the maids are wondering where I am, I have to go..." You slur, tugging at his collar.
He grunts in protest, taking your ear between his teeth and nibbling it.
"If you let me go, I'll steal some cake for you tomorrow at breakfast." If there's anything Jungkook likes more than Cream Ice, it was cake. He unravels you from his arms and nods, his eyes softening.
"Request my service tomorrow, from Ms.Kang. She's been sweet on me lately." You peck his cheek before stepping back. Your rouge has embarrassingly stained His Grace's cheek.
Jungkook bows and presses a kiss on your hand, eyes rising to meet yours. "Til' morrow, babe."
Jiyoo shakes you awake the next morning, handing you a cake and a note that reads: "Prince Jungkook has a commission he must discuss with you. Meet him at his chamber immediately."
Lacing on a simple corset over your nightgown, you try not to look too red in the face as you climb up the stairs to His Majesty's room. You'd be up there alone, as requested. The girls would absolutely start rumors based on that alone-- rumors which you realize are probably totally true. This was stuff of scandal, after all...
'There shouldn't be anything scandalous about love.' You decide as you rap on His Highness' door.
"Please enter...but only if you have my cake!" Jungkook says in his morning voice. He's so cute.
The simplicity of Jungkook's abode takes you by surprise. His bedroom is very well lit, a capital display of the flowered valley through his bay windows washed the room in gold, painting his porcelain white carpets and his cotton sheets a warm creme color. His drawers and vanity were etched in gold, with breathtaking detailing.
The Monarch himself was splayed across the bed, laying on his side casually. He held a glass in his hand, holding a white wine. He puts down his glass and sits up as your presence.
"We both know that you didn't come here as my servant." You lock the door behind you. "And I have no such commission to give you, darling." The innocence which undertones his usual speech is missing as he coaxes you towards him.
"This much I know, Your Majesty," You say, taking a bit of frosting on your index finger and smudging it on the Princes lips. His black eyes, as cunning as a viper, watch you dangerously as you push two fingers past his plush lips. He wraps his hands around your wrist and draws your hand away, his gaze fixating on you.
"Set the cake down." At his command, you carefully place the confection down on a nearby chest, feeling Jungkook's eyes on you, drawing you back towards his grip.
"Let me pull your laces apart," with your waist held by his Herculean hand, he hums "and then let me pull you apart. I want to memorize your pleasures and gratify your desires, I need it, y/n..." Your back flush against his chest and your thighs split, his hands knead into you as he litters your collar with his mark.
You gasp softly against the crook of his neck, giving into his hold of you. His hot tongue spreads under your jaw, closing into a hard kiss as his hands travel back up to undo your corset and free your tits.
One by one, his fingers pop open the buttons left on your gown until the collar hangs off-shoulder to expose your collarbone. At the sight of new skin, Jungkook's tongue darts to stain it.
His hands stagger above your breasts. "Is it okay if I touch you here?"
"Oh, Kookie, touch me everywhere~" Your hands form fists around Jungkook's shirt, beckoning him impossibly closer.
Grasping one ever so carefully, his thumb grazes your bud as he playfully bites under your ear. "ah-- ahh,"
Jungkook groans in response, he can't believe how cute you sound. Curious, he wants to hear more, so he traces your thighs and experimentally pushes up the outside your cunt.
You squirm, tensing up immediately in response. You bring your hands down to find the latch on his trousers and dip your hands below to rub him through his undergarments. He heatedly bucks up to meet your touch, a panting mess.
You face him now as he watches you ride his fingers while you grip his girth through his clothes. He takes you by the ass and places you on his prominent bulge, hips rolling into you as he hungrily kisses you, his firm hands grinding your core on his cock.
His face is a sinful red, panting under you desperately.
"I've been wanting to do this," His voice warbles through your touch, running your thumb along his underside. It's his turn to gasp. He sits up and collapses his lips into yours, softer than rose petals and his taste faintly like wine.
You place your hand on his chest, and his heart is pounding, a thin layer of sweat already forming on his honeylike complexion.
Hastily, you pull your dress over your head and lean back to allow him to familiarize himself with your stark form, a dainty chain hanging between your bosom. Jungkook bites his lips as he wriggles out of his clothing, desposing of it beside the bed.
He's giddy behind those sultry eyes, you know him well enough that he's overexcited to get inside of you. It goes straight to his cock, your playfulness as you feel up his bare shoulders and discover his abdominals, your fingers tracing his ridges with a sense of innocent wonder.
He takes your hands and looks at you in this way-- Butterflies fill your stomach instantly. Jungkook's thumbing at your pout with his intrepid fingers.
His eyes flutter when grip his base and submerge your upper body below his hips. You lick a long, thick stripe up his underside, causing his breath to hitch and his head to fall back on to the bed.
Those goddamn cupid's bow lips of his would whisper the dirtiest things under his breath, lewd thoughts that sounded completely alien coming from His Majesty's mouth, he said for you.
"Oh, such a pretty mouth~ It's so good, y/n, you swallow me so good--" he moaned like a mantra, trying to keep his hips from snapping up into you. Your hot, wet tongue wrapped around his throbbing cock was only a fantasy to him for years.
He fills your throat with his girth, his taste tantalizingly smooth. It leaves your mouth with a 'pop.' You struggle to keep your legs apart as you crawl up to kiss him.
He takes those fingers of his and slides his index and middle into you and languidly thrusts them, smirking against your lips. "Shit, you liked that, hmm..."
"Kookie...please," you whine as he squeezes your ass hard before smacking it. You yelp, the sting of his fingers radiating from your skin.
"I like it when you beg, y/n, it's so cute..." He pulls your ass up to his thighs. He's flush hard against your abdomen, already sticky with his precum and your spit. You marvel at the self control he has.
You don't finish your thought before he has his head inside of you, impaling you on his cock and stretching your entrance, hissing at how incredible it felt to have you around him.
His shaft reached pleasure points within you had yet to discover. You clench, feeling his tip brush against your cervix. "Wh... hngh," he groans, "how did you do that, do it again--" You wrap your legs around his thighs and clench around him, biting your lip. You watch as he shivers from pleasure, feeling his skin horripilate under your touch.
His thumb is softly circling above your clit as he pulls out of you carefully. He swirls back in, nestling himself inside your heat, hissing. "Ahh~ Jungkook~!" At the sound of his first name moaned out of your mouth, he groans and rolls his hips up to create messy friction. That familiar knot in your stomach tingles as he plays with the bundle of nerves buried within you.
He glances up at your ruined lips, clashing with them again as he lifts your knees up with his hands and thrusts nice and rough, making you yell with every jolt of his cock. The smell and sound of sex fills the room as he experiments with positions, laying you on all fours.
"Get your ass up for me." You obey, ever servile. You're reminded-- you're his servant. He owns your work, he owns your services, and now he wants you in the most lucrative way, he wants your soaked cunt around his imperial cock. He gets what he wants.
Jungkook's palms smack against your ass one more time, just to watch the way it jiggles for him. He smirks a little before he shoves himself into your pretty little cunt. You bury your face into the pillows in pelasure as he chases your orgasm with vigor, fingering your clitoris while you move your hips back to meet his hard thrusts.
You whine like a harlot, his cock allowing you every satisfaction as he works a head-spinning orgasm out of that cunt. "I'm gonna cum, Kookie~!" you warn as you spasm against his length, moans ripping from your throat as you coat him with your thick juices.
His hips stutter up and he just barely pulls himself completely from you as he paints your back white, a guttural groan escaping his mouth.
After a while of loud panting and scattered giggling, Jungkook reaches over for a wet cloth and cleans the both of you gingerly. You trail your hands up to caress his jaw and kiss his lips softly.
"You need to tell everyone that I had a long and extensive request for the Harvest party, that I wanted a lot of fall fruits and vegetables featured in the baked goods, make it as specific as possible and make sure that you mention that I want to meet with you again, over dinner." His labored breathing punctuate his words, as youd kisses consume him. "And..."
"And?" You cock an eyebrow, simpering.
"Doyouthinkmaybeyoucouldbringmesomemilktogowithmycake?" He mumbles, eyes glued on the bed.
"What?" (If you give a Kookie a Cookie...)
Disgruntled, he sighs and repeats: "Milk! Milk for my cake. I know it's moist cause you made it but I'm really thirsty, especially after..." His cheeks flush a cute pink. You wait for him to continue just to fluster him a little more. "Y/N, just please!" You can't ever refuse his pouty face.
Next week, Jungkook's got you pinned against the hallway wall, making out with you hungrily as his hands ride up your dress. Just across the hall, his Dad is negotiating war with Portugal over land in the West.
The next month, you have his cock buried in your throat underneath the table at an important conference about how to create jobs.
All this while the pressure for Jungkook to find a bride continues to rise as he reaches seniority, and as his father's grey hairs pronounce themselves.
Warm touches are always hidden away to the public eye, but often shared between two kindred spirits underneath the man in the moon's watchful eye. Jungkook, as he reaches his maturity, grows strong. His jaw sharpens, and his eyes darken. His hair grows long, and he gains weight. Now at the proud age of 20, Jungkook had become a man before everyone's eyes, including the eyes of foreign monarchs and their eligible bachelorettes.
One day, you're serving the Royal family at a private dinner, when the topic of marriage comes up for the first time since his birthday.
"Your mother has made friends with the mother of the Austrian Princess, and she's invited you to the cordial ball to introduce yourself to the Princess. An allyship with Austria would prove advantageous for our relations with France, so you are to make your best impression." The King wipes his mouth. Setting his fork down, he continues: "It is in the family's best interest for you to marry her, if the French Princess, Anastasie, does not present this season or the next." The Queen holds the King's hand firmly, reassuring him from his shoulder. She wears a slight frown on her face, her eyes worrisome, somber. The King hides his anxiety, as he's been accustomed to from decades of responsibility. Would this be the face of Jungkook soon?
For now, Jungkook's face is scrunching at the thought of marrying Anastasie. She's not the most delightful young woman, her imprudence ruined her enjoyment of any event. She couldn't keep an intuitive conversation about regional politics and domestic policy for the life of her. Her people were on the brink of overthrowing the aristocracy, he was sure of it.
"Yes, father," is what you hear from him before you disappear down the stairs to fetch desserts.
Jiyoo interrupts your quest for sweets with a letter, signed by His Grace. She has a naturally innocent demeanor, her cheeks rosy and her frame as delicate as a feather. "Y/N, you have another special request from His Majesty...can I ask you why you get so many of these?" She looks genuinely curious, not a single menacing thought behind those eyes.
"It's because the Prince really really loves his cake." I mean, technically it was true. Jungkook never passed up an opportunity to squeeze, smack, or dig his fingernails into your ass during your sessions.
"Oh." Jiyoo pouts. "So it's not because you're like, in love or anything?" Her eyes are glued to the floor. You were expecting this question eventually, as the other girls in the kitchen were already suspecting it. It was only a matter of time before word slipped into the girl's ears.
"As much as I enjoy the Prince's interest in my baking, it isn't my place to confess any sort of feeling for him." Your answer is straightforward enough, so Jiyoo nods and hands you the letter. Another request.
Outside the Palace, Winter came like the wind. Lakes froze over, and couples tied up their skates and danced on the ice. The trees were bare and brown, not a single leaf persisting through the chilling breath of Jack Frost.
Jungkook had left for the Winter Palace, to volunteer and raise spirits up in the North. As heir to the throne, he was to be Commander in Chief of the Royal Armed Forces, and therefore needed to undergo intensive training in order to boost morale.
You're back home, and in your wake is your father, who has now grown tangibly tired. He's been on a strict diet of warm vegetable soup for about three months, now. His eyes are sunken, but he still wears a subtle smile even during his most trying days.
Match girls make their rounds at night, you watch as the lamplighters illuminate the streets with their tall ladders and their taller peacoats. Shop windows glow warm shades of yellow and creme; inscriptions on the glass create shadows on the white snow.
"Wow. It's almost as cold as the King's heart out here." You step outside one day with a cup of tea, sneaking in a cheeky smirk. Yeah, good one.
"I heard that!" You turn towards the little voice. A child, maybe about 9 or 10 years old is pointing at you. You squint at it.
"Well, it's true..." You mumble. You have a bit of change in your pocket, so you walk towards a stand to buy a hot bun and a paper.
"Chilly today, hon...Best you take this on the house." The tenant hands you a steaming cake wrapped in a simple cloth and your paper. You stick the paper in your dress pocket and take back your change. You nod a 'thank you.'
You spill the contents of your pockets on the dining table and snatch the paper, snapping it open. Your eyes eagerly skim the headline: "Prince Jungkook Fires Up Royal Army." Below is an article detailing the happenings of His Majesty. All of it sounded very intense, the running, strategizing, first aid training...Was there anything Prince Jeon couldn't nail on the first try?
You set the paper down and pick up your now lukewarm tea. In the back of your mind you're coping with the fact that the Spring Solstice is next week, and that marks the beginning of Jungkook's last season as a Prince.
The King is ill with tuberculosis, and recovery is unlikely. If Jungkook is to marry, it is next season and that was final.
Sitting at the window of his Winter Castle study, Jungkook plays with a ring nestled between his fingers. He looks out onto the lake, as if he's trying to reach you with his gaze. His heart is tight knowing that it would be the season he chooses his bride. Actually, he'd already made up his mind long ago. If his duty was to marry, there was no way to evade such a responsibility. He had to fulfill it, despite his anxieties.
He straightens up and walks out of the hollow room with a firm step.
You awaken with the sound of horse's hooves thudding against the Earth. It is yet to be dawn, and in the distance, thunder roars mightily.
A figure wearing a long, black hood hoists itself off of the animal, tying it to a nearby post. It walks towards an obscure entrance, unknown to many staff.
Intrigued, you wrap a blanket around yourself and peek out at the stranger. His fingers are shorter than his palms, and that's when he tosses of his hood, his eyes set on you. "Y/N..."
You're bewildered by his guise, questions filling your head.
"I was horny, so I left camp" He sits down at the counter, catapulting a cookie into his mouth.
You roll your eyes. "And the guards let you?! Jungkook!" You whisper-yelled at him, readjusting your makeshift blanket-dress.
"Obviously not!" He puffed out his chest with pride. "I bribed them," he smirks.
"You're insufferable," you scoff, your eyes wandering down to observe his physique. His shirt is anything but conservative, highlighting the muscle he'd earned through laborious, sweat-inducing drills. You can feel his eyes on your face as you observe him.
"You can't hide it either," he crosses his arms. "You're standing in the kitchen with a blanket around your naked body." He flicks his tongue. He steps forward, putting a finger under your jaw so you're looking him in the eye.
Your eyes fill with lust as he speaks over your lips. "Look at yourself..." A crash is heard in the other room.
Jungkook's head darts up and in a flash, he disappears into the night.
'Fuck.' You gather your dress from the floor and shuffle back to your chamber.
The first event of the season commences with the most exaltant of spirits as friends of old greet each other with youthful smiles. Juicy exposés, enticing tales, and thoughtful greetings are exchanged in the most formal manner, and the conversation is lively; the most controversial topic of conversation, however, is the rumor that Jungkook is to marry this season.
So far, he's been to four different private residences within his own Kingdom and has been invited, by the secretary of King Louis XVII to meet their daughter. It would be an understatement to say that stakes were high for the pending King.
You were kneading your dough a little too hard thinking about it. "Not so rough, y/n!" Ms.Kang snatches the mixture from your hands. "What is up with you lately, you're so tense! It's really disrupting the kitchen's dynamic."
You shrug it off. "It's going to be hard sedating Anastasie's sweet tooth, I suppose."
"Well, you seem to be doing just fine dealing with Jungkook's addiction to cakes...She's perfect for him, really." Ms.Kang throws more flour on your kneading table and steps off. You give up on the dough, covering it with a cloth and letting it rise.
Jungkook is tapping his feet, munching on finger sandwiches as he waits on you to make an appearance.
"Dearest Prince, look, I am wearing Mediterranean violet!" A duchess shouts as she passes by him, to which he raises his eyebrows at. Another, with dark green eyes approaches and begins speaking rapidly in French at him. Frightened and undereducated, his canned response was: "Excusez-moi, Pouvez-vous répéter plus lentement s'il vous plaît," to which the duchess furrows her eyebrows before something else catches her attention, elsewhere.
Truth is, Jungkook is incredibly shaken at the thought of announcing his engagement tonight. Well, that and the fact that you had yet to pop out of the kitchen. Man, those finger sandwiches were good.
As the night progresses, Jungkook realizes that if he doesn't get up on that platform and say what he needed to say, he'd have to say it in London. Setting his fears aside, he plants himself on top of the orchestral stage and taps a champagne glass with a cheese fork. The music comes to a stop.
With conviction, he begins: "The time has come that I announce my engagement. To all of my beloved friends, who have introduced me to the most beautiful, talented, diverse, and benevolent ladies I've come to get to know over the years, I thank you from the depths of my soul." He swallows and continues, his confident voice masking his trembling. "The life of a Prince is defined by the virtues presented to him at birth. Those virtues are: duty, responsibility, grace, kindness, mercy and integrity." Here comes the part, oh shit.
"I am abdicating my throne to my Cousin, the Duke of Namseong."
Silence sweeps the room. You poke your head out to see what was going on.
"...to marry the love of my life, y/n." He points at you. Your face is cherry red, and you find yourself dropping those same Danish fucking pastries all over the carpet.
"Shit," you fall on your knees, plucking them from the ground one by one. You don't know whether to run as fast as you can or to present yourself, but your body seems to be currently doing the latter. You go along with it.
Jungkook takes your hand tenderly on the stage. "I am unable to perform my duties as King, and therefore am ineligible for the throne." His touch gives you the will to continue beside him. You feel the pure fear rushing through your love's veins, and he knows that this is the hardest thing he'll ever have to do, yet he stands by his announcement.
So, if Jungkook doesn't get to be King of this World, he at least will forever be the King of Your Heart.
But all this, of course...is all in Your, dear reader, Head.
~
a/n:
hope you enjoyed.
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foreignerabroad1994 · 2 years ago
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Another Love: Writing Prompt Short Story
My response to the following writing prompt to u/London-Roma-1980 on the WritingPrompts subreddit:
[WP] The Museum of the History of Love has a new exhibit, which it calls an Alternate Future Coupling, but everyone calls the Ship-O-Matic. Two people sit in it, and they see a minutes-long vision of what their life as a couple would be like.
Bailey groans at the long line to the machine. He wasn't surprised when, about three beers in and on their way to the next bar, Joe could not resist the tacky, pink-and-red, love-hearts-covered exterior of the museum. The rest of their group laughed him off, but Bailey knew Joe would probably end up stumbling into the museum on his own and right into some jail cell. And, if he's honest with himself, he doesn't care much for Joe's friends. He only agreed to go on this stupid "bro trip" because Joe insisted, and both Sarah And Lin, their respective girlfriends, had already planned their own girls' trip to Cabo. Letting Joe drunkenly roam the museum on his own while he has to suffer through their endless talks about crypto and tits didn't sound like a better experience than walking through some tacky, tourist-trap exhibit.
It didn't take long before Joe zeroed in on the poster of the giant machine, which is still hidden from view. The long line stretches around the bend of the makeshift corridor. The walls are covered in tacky prints featuring all kinds of couples in various ages, floating in blurry clouds of promises and potential futures.
"Do we really have to do this?" he asks, peering over the shoulders of two very tall Dutch girls in front of them. They have at least thirty more minutes to wait, and he already needs to pee.
Joe puts an arm over his shoulders amiably, jostling him a bit too hard. "Of course we do! I can't sleep at night without knowing what my life would look like with you, my soulmate." He finishes the sentence with a flourish, a hand on his chest and the other on his forehead. Always so dramatic.
Bailey wants to say this is stupid, because it is. But he looks at Joe's goofy, toothy smile, and he doesn't want to tease him any more than his dumb friends already had. "Fine, but you're buying the next two rounds of beer."
Joe gives him a healthy smack on the shoulder. "That's my boy! You got yourself a deal."
They talk about nothing and anything as the line crawls ahead, and finally, they see the machine appearing in front of them. Only one pair is waiting in front of them - the two Dutch girls, who seem very excited. As he yet again peers around them, he observes the machine. Its exterior is metallic and bright, a shiny red chrome that looks more like a weird transformer than a plastic gimmick. The gaudy sign above it shines in pink lights, promising visitors "a stunning cinematic look into their shared romantic future". Bailey snickers and looks at Joe, who bounces from foot to foot.
"This is hysterical," he says excitedly. "I can't wait to tell everyone what it shows us. Do you think I'd be good at sucking dick?"
Bailey shoves him while the Dutch girls turn around and look at them with an eerily similar, blond-browed frown. They get called by the attendee, who's also wearing an awful red-and-pink vest, and Bailey and Joe step forward to wait their turn. "That's what you're worried about?"
"Well, yeah. If I was gay, I'd be a total pro."
"Of course you would."
"You doubting my skills?"
"Considering the only thing you've ever blown is a banana in 7th grade, yeah, I am."
Joe bursts out laughing. "Man, Ms. Ramirez was not happy with me."
"Dude, she wasn't happy because you couldn't say a word of Spanish and refused to try."
"Hey! I did try!"
Bailey rolls his eyes. "Yeah, when you wanted to hit on that girl, what was her name?"
"Bianca."
"I'm surprised you remember."
They reminisce about their 7th grade teachers and classmates for a while and, before they know it, the attendant lets the Dutch girls out. They hold each other, laughing hard, their twin laughs genuinely creepy.
Joe leans in to whisper in his ear. "Are we sure they're not related?"
"Absolutely not," Bailey replies.
The attendant signals for them impatiently, and they walk into the machine. On the inside, it's surprisingly simple - not much more than a barren projection room. Two worn, red leather armchairs sit side by side, with a shared armrest. A giant projection screen is unfurled in front of them, with two giant speakers on either side. The attendant messes with a board full of colorful buttons on the left of the door, before ushering them to the two seats and asking them to sit still. He presses a pink, glowing button near the other side of door, and a giant box comes out of the ceiling. Bright, red lights, like lasers, come out of the box and scan both of them from head to toe a few times, slowly and silently. When the lights abruptly turn off, the attendant closes the door silently and everything goes dark. The box turns around and a projection starts on the screen, counting down from 10.
Joe bounces in his seat. "This feels like a movie."
"I think that's kind of the point," Bailey replies, sinking back into the surprisingly comfortable chair with a smile.
Images start to play. On screen, they see both of them at 13 years old. They're playing a video game, something they always did together.
Joe frowns and points at the screen, "well, that's no different than-"
Before he can finish the sentence, his younger self leans over on the screen and gives Bailey a chaste kiss on the cheek. Young Bailey blushes, but smiles shyly, his eyes still on the screen. They keep playing as if this is completely normal. They say nothing, the sounds of the video game a soft murmur in the background.
They both sit silently.
The next scene is them in high school, walking around the hallway. They look around and at each other, before sneaking into the radio room. They giggle deviously, drop their backpacks, and start kissing tenderly, gangly hands roaming each other's torsos.
Bailey feels Joe squirming in the seat next to him, and it feels as if all the oxygen has been sucked out of the enclosed, dark space.
Their high school selves seem to slow down some, slide down the door, and spend a long, quiet minute touching each other. Bailey gently traces Joe's upper arm with the tip of a finger, a thoughtful expression on his face, while Joe playfully braids tiny, ugly braids into Bailey's mop of long, brown hair.
Should he say something? Should they just leave? Bailey glances at Joe, but Joe is sitting stock still now, rigid. He decides against it.
The rest of their younger scenes are not entirely unfamiliar. They are still attached at the hip - getting into trouble, partying in the woods, trying their first drink and first cigarette. But the feeling is completely different. Because when they narrowly escape the cops, they end up kissing in the bushes of Ms. Bower's garden. When Joe breaks his arm during one of his football games, Bailey is there, putting a straw to his mouth before replacing the straw with his lips, making Joe laugh before wincing in pain.
How much is this going to show? How long have they been sitting here? There's a huge lump in Bailey's throat. Joe is silently vibrating right next to him.
There's a big time jump on screen. They're in their 20's now, only a couple of years younger than they are now, it seems. They're backpacking together somewhere remote, and reach the peak of a mountain. Bailey is grumbling about stupid hikes and stupid mountains. They're both breathing hard.
Bailey smiles privately. He would definitely complain. He still can't look at Joe.
On screen Joe takes Bailey's hand and drags him to a rock facing a stunning, green view. Infinite sky and a lush forest stretch into the horizon, the sun just starting to set. They hug silently, reverently, puffs of air visible around them in the creeping cold. Until Joe sneaks a hand into his own pocket, and pulls out a small, black box.
Bailey feels almost dizzy as he sees himself choking a yes, nodding frantically, before Joe tackles him to the ground in a very characteristic, overly enthusiastic hug. Bailey chastises him there, calling him a big ol' golden retriever and rubbing at his bruised back, before kissing Joe on the nose.
Bailey chokes on air. He can sense Joe is looking at him now, but he can't look back, and soon he feels Joe's eyes aren't on him anymore.
The next scene is much later. They sit in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by people Bailey doesn't recognize. They both have crow's feet. Joe has a deep tan, and a tiny belly. He can see his own hairline receded a bit. They're talking animatedly with a couple of women, Joe's hand casually resting in Bailey's back pocket. He gives a playful squeeze, and smirks when Bailey gives him a reproaching look.
Bailey feels his ears turning red, and he's happy the room is so dark. He doesn't know what to do with his hands.
In another scene, they're both a bit older again. Grey peppers their hairlines. They wear simple clothes on a deck somewhere. A young girl with curly hair runs and disappears into a sliding door. Bailey is reading, his legs in Joe's lap on a big hammock as Joe massages them mindlessly, staring out into a green yard, basking in sunlight. Joe looks down at Bailey, with reading glasses on, before shoving the book into his face, shoving the glasses into his eye sockets. Bailey shouts at him indignantly, and Joe laughs and heaves him up into his lap. He shushes him with a kiss before letting their foreheads fall together. They close their eyes.
Bailey doesn't know how to name this feeling. His chest is tight, and his throat is dry. He finally glances Joe's way, and their eyes meet. Joe's are watery. He looks away quickly, squeezing his fingers together in his lap.
White heads of hair, Bailey's a bit thinner, with a bald spot at the top. They sit at a doctor's office, faces wrinkled and grim. Bailey is stoic. Joe collapses into Bailey's shoulder, crying softly. Bailey puts a hand on the nape of Joe's neck, petting gently. His mouth is in a thin, wrinkly line.
Joe makes a choking sound. Bailey digs into the leather sit.
Joe sits on a bench. He's hunched but dignified, wearing a simple black knit. A woman sits at his side, holding his hand gently, her curly hair in a mess on top of her head. They look at a gravestone together. Wind breezes through.
The projection ends abruptly and the light comes through the now open door. The attendant peaks in. He's about to say something, but he closes his mouth on a gentle sigh. Bailey sits there, his eyes wide, breathing heavily. He dares a glance at Joe, who's aggressively wiping at his face.
"You have to go now, guys," the attendant says gently. "It happens every day here. There's a coffee shop around the corner if you need some water."
Bailey nods. He puts a careful hand on Joe's shoulder, who startles. "Come on," he encourages quietly.
They walk out, silent, right out onto the street. Joe walks to a wall just past the museum, free of reds and pinks, and leans against it like it can carry the weight of a future he never asked for.
Bailey leans next to him. He sighs.
"I don't think we should tell everyone," Joe finally chokes out.
Bailey nods. "Probably best not to."
"Maybe not anyone."
Bailey looks at him. They meet each other's eyes, and every vivid scene plays in the space between them.
"Maybe not."
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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago
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Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 5
Word Count: 5,690
POV: Reader and then switches to Jamie
Warnings: Language, but that’s about it, at least from what I can remember
Notes: So I just want to thank everyone for their patience with me as I took some time off. I’ve still been writing, so hopefully you’ll see your favorite stories pop up here and there. Happy reading!
Sidenote: Also (Y/NN) = Your Nickname (Y/LN) = Your Last Name
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READER'S POV
 "I'm sorry what did you just say?" you asked Emma, as you had to have heard her incorrectly when she said that you should get under someone in order to get over Jamie. "Because, you were there in high school, that didn't work out the best for me."
"That's not what I meant."
 "But it is what you said, that I should just go hook up with some random guy. Em, I love you, babe, but I am not going down that path again. I do not need to be known as the doctor that sleeps around."
 "Oh my god, would you shut up for one minute?" You went radio silent, after she practically yelled at you through the phone, though you suppose that your voice had gone up maybe a decibel or two. "I didn't mean for you to go fuck some rando at the bar. Actually, I meant…and hear me out before you say anything," she paused and you had a feeling that you weren't going to like what she said next no matter what it was. "I think you should sleep with Jamie."
 "WHAT!?!"
 "Yeah, that was a little loud. I think you might have woken up Caleb. Shh, go back to sleep babe," you heard her mumble to her husband.
 "I'm sorry but are you crazy? Maybe I called you too early and you're not fully functioning without coffee. Or should I call Dr. Kaplan and have him examine you."
 "Your neurologist, friend? No." She sounded a bit indignant at the mention that she needed her brain examined for suggesting a thing, but really what were you supposed to think when she made stupid remarks like you should go sleep with Jamie. "I asked you to listen before you passed judgment on me. God, you think you were a judge instead of a doctor so something."
 "Well, you have my full attention. So please explain, before I have you committed to the psych ward." She scoffed at you, which only made you say, "You know I can medically do that."
 You could almost hear her eyes rolling through the phone. "Yes, but who would you call this early in the morning when you have a problem." She had a point. "Exactly. Now, let me explain. You and Jamie never really resolved anything. He said things, you got upset, he never answered the phone, so you broke it off with him, yadda, yadda, yadda. You get my point." It seemed a whole lot more complicated than a few yaddas. "But there was never any closure for either of you there. It just sort of ended." Emma was right about that, after hearing that he only was seeing you for sex, you didn't want to speak to him at all. "It was obvious then, that he still had feelings for you, even if you didn't want to see it. And don't kill me here, but I think it was obvious that you still had feelings for him as well, and that maybe you still do." You didn't exactly know how you felt about Jamie at the moment, but waking up in his arms did feel right. "Let's face it (Y/N), you've compared every guy you've ever been with to Jamie."
 "I have not." Had you?
 "Ok, we're skipping all the douches in high school, because you and I both know you never slept with any of them. Yes, I know what everyone said, but I was also your best friend and I know you. The worst you ever did was give Carter Williams a blow job behind the bleachers after a football game." Oh, Jesus, she did not need to go down this road listing all your sexcapades from high school or after that. "I'm talking about Bryan, the perfectly good looking, studying to be a heart surgeon, boyfriend that you gave up for no other reason then you said he wasn't tall enough."
 "I did not break up with Bryan because he wasn't tall enough and you know it."
 "It was a factor, along with his hair not being dark enough and you hating his sense of humor."
 "The man made stupid heart surgeon jokes that not even anyone in the cardiothoracic department got."
 "True, but you also told me he was lousy in bed, and I believe that was another complaint you had about Tomas, Dylan…oh and what was his name…you know the one you said that you had to use your vibrator the minute he walked out the door because he couldn't get you off."
 "Isaac," you told her and there was a blush creeping to your cheeks. Suddenly, you were regretting Emma being your best friend.
 "Yes, Isaac. If I remember correctly that happened more than once with him. How you kept him around for four months is beyond me. You're a doctor woman, you can show him where the clit is, you know? Just take his hand and place it…"
 "Thank you, Dr. Emma, I know where my clit is."
 "But he didn't," she let out a bark of laughter that was so contagious you had to join in. Once you both calmed, Emma came right back at you about Jamie. "Look, he was your first love and maybe the sex wasn't as great as your sixteen-year-old mind remembers. Maybe you just fuck Jamie and that's all it is, a fuck, or maybe it's more. At least this way, you won't be holding him on some pedestal like he's a Greek god or something."
 Maybe she was right and you'd been holding on for fourteen years thinking that what you and Jamie had was this truly magical once and a lifetime thing when in reality all it had been was sex. Let's face it, what your sixteen-year-old self thought was love could've been nothing more than lust. "I never thought he was a Greek god."
 "Please, I was always envious about how you had this romantic first time. I mean mine was in the back of Kyle's jeep, and before you say anything he didn't know where the clit was either."
 You both giggled again, but then you had to remind her of how things had ended. "It wasn't romantic when he said those things about me."
 "He was sixteen (Y/N). I'm not making an excuse, but it's time to build that bridge. Maybe he's changed, maybe he hasn't. I'm not saying for you to give him your whole heart. I'm just saying, find out if what was there, was truly that once in a lifetime love or was it just this idea that you've been holding on to."
 "But what if…" you stuttered while Emma waited for you to continue. "What if…I still love him, and he breaks my heart, again."
 "(Y/N), that's the chance we all take when we open our hearts to love. You don't think that I felt that way with Caleb? That sometimes I still don't feel that way." She sighed. You could tell she was struggling with how to put her feelings into words. "He could walk out the door and leave me here alone, and my heart would break into pieces, but the love I have for him is so much greater than that fear." She made it sound so easy, but all you could remember was how completely hurt you'd felt when things had gone wrong with Jamie. "I know you're scared, and that's why you've closed your heart off for so long, but (Y/N) I promise you the minute you open it back up, your life is going to be even better than it is. And maybe it's Jamie that deserves your heart and maybe it's not, but you'll never know if you don't try."
 "I know," you whispered weakly, for you really did know that. If it wasn't Jamie, it was going to have to be someone eventually, because you didn't want to be alone forever. It was just that gnawing fear in the back of your mind that Jamie would hurt you again as he had before. "I just don't want to break into a thousand pieces again."
 "You won't (Y/N), and if you do, I'll be on the first flight to Dallas to help you pick them up." She would be, you knew that for sure because you couldn't ask for a better friend than Emma. "And I'll kick his ass as well." That made you laugh considering that Emma was five foot four, and Jamie was just over six foot. It would make for an interesting matchup, but you knew that Emma would take him down no matter the size difference.
 "Thanks, Em."
 "I just want you to be happy, (Y/NN); happy and in love, and I just have this gut feeling that Jamie can make that happen." There was only one way to find out, and that was to open up more to Jamie. It wouldn't be easy but after this little talk, you were willing to try. "Now, enough about this, because you're going to follow my advice. So tell me how everything else is going? Do you like work? Is it everything you thought it would be?"
 "And so much more." You spent the next fifteen minutes catching up with each other before she kicked you off the phone to go make rounds at the hospital. Despite not having that many patients of your own at the moment, you were still looking after all of Dr. Lundin's. It was about three o'clock in the afternoon when your phone rang, Jamie's name popping up on the screen. For a minute, you thought about not answering it, but then you remembered your conversation this morning with Emma and quickly hit the accept button. "Hey, Jame."
 He seemed a bit startled that you answered. "Oh, hey (Y/NN). I was just giving you a call about a couple things."
 "Ok, what's up?"
 "Well, first off, I found your dress in my bathroom this morning."
 "Oh shit, I totally forgot that I left it in there." You'd laid it over the tub last night when you changed, something that you did at home all the time. You had every intention of picking it up before you left, but then you'd fallen asleep and well, it kind of got lost in your mind as you freaked out over possibly having feelings for Jamie.
 "It's no biggie. I hung it up in my closet." He paused as if he'd said something wrong. "Just so it didn't wrinkle anymore." Well, look at him being all domesticated.
 "Thanks, that's sweet of you. I'll stop over and get it sometime from you."
 "Oh, ok or I can bring it over. Whatever is easiest for you. I also wanted to see if there was a good time to reschedule that visit to the AAC? We kind of didn't get to go over my map too much last night. Plus, my artistic skills are a little rusty."
 You'd forgotten all about the tour, but it would be a good excuse to spend some more time with Jamie to see where your feelings were. "Let me check my schedule." You switched him to speaker and flipped over to your calendar. "Oh, I'm headed to Jessi's tomorrow night to take her stitches out, so that won't work. Um, let me see about the next day."
 "What about tonight?"
 "Oh, tonight?" You weren't sure if you were ready to face him just yet, but a little voice, that sounded an awful lot like your best friend, told you there was no time like the present. "Yeah, I can do that. I was just getting ready to leave here in about ten minutes. What time were you thinking?"
 "Whenever I'm free the rest of today, so if you just wanted to come straight here; that's fine."
 This was really not the timeframe you wanted. You hadn't even taken any time this morning to do anything special with your hair or makeup, as you'd spent too much time talking to Emma. Though it wasn't like Jamie hadn't just seen you with drool on your face, wearing his sweats and your hair a complete disaster. Anything would be an improvement over that. It was that thought that had you saying, "Sounds good. I'll see you in about twenty minutes then."
 "Ok see you soon." You hung up and then quickly went to add at least a bit of lip gloss and mascara to your face.
 It was about twenty minutes later that you were pulling into your garage and then walking the short distance to Jamie's. This time foregoing parking at his place. He opened the door before you even had a chance to knock. "Hey, (Y/N). How's it going tonight?"
 It seemed like a loaded question when he was standing there dressed in a pristine white dress shirt, his chest hair peeking out from where he'd undone the first couple buttons. Suddenly, your mouth went dry. When you were sixteen, Jamie didn't have a hair on his chest. Well, maybe there were one or two that he was awfully proud of, but they really didn't count. This was just another sign of how much he'd changed and grown into the man that stood before you today. You'd hoped he'd changed in other ways as well. "Much better tonight. My feet are all ready for you to give me the grand tour."
 "Alright, then let's head out." He had his car in the garage, so you followed him through the house to the SUV. In true Jamie Benn fashion, he came over and opened the door for you. It was something he'd always done when you were younger, as his mom had instilled those gentlemanly courtesies in him. It was weird being in the car with him again. Part of you kept waiting for him to grab your hand and hold it like he used to and you found yourself glancing down every so often at his large fingers gripping the gearshift instead of your hand.
 He pointed out different landmarks as you passed and told you that despite what the navigation system said this was the fastest way to get to downtown from your house. The two of you chatted the whole entire time, while the music played softly in the background. "So, you're going to want to use this gate." Jamie was saying right as his playlist changed to a song from the movie Frozen.
 "So, are you are an Anna or an Elsa fan?" you teased.
 "What?" It was then that he realized what was playing, and quickly changed the song. "I have that on here for my niece."
 He pulled into the players' parking spot, "Uh huh, sure Jame. Admit it you like the movie." He shut the car off and you both got out.
 "I may have watched it with Soph once," he said sheepishly and your heart warmed at the idea of him sitting there with the little girl watching one of Disney's hit movies. You always knew that he would make a great dad, and having that song just proved it.
 You were walking side by side now and you couldn't resist dancing around him, while you sang the lyrics. "Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore." You were walking backward not having a clue where you were going as you continued. "Come on Jame, sing with me. You know you want to…Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door."
 "Stop," he chided but had a grin a mile long on his face.
 You twirled around him another time, hands dancing along his arm. "I don't care what they're going to say," you belted out; the words echoing off the cement walls around you. "Let the storm rage on…"
 "The cold never bothered me anyway." Jamie sang finally joining you. You bouncing up and down as he sang with you, not paying attention as your eyes were focused on him and not where you were going. He reached out and grabbed you right as you started to trip on a large cord that was behind you. "Careful there Elsa." Your hands went to his chest, your palm resting where his heart was racing, as his slid around your waist and pulled you in close to him. Pressed up against him, you couldn't help the urge that came over you to kiss him; he was just so close, and his eyes were smiling into yours, and it felt like the perfect moment to test the waters out. So, you slid your hands just a little further up his chest, and you raised up on your tiptoes so that your lips were mere inches from him, and then your watch chimed again; the damn thing reminding you to breathe, and the moment was lost.
 You dropped back down onto the balls of your feet but still kept that smile plastered on your face. "Thanks for saving me Olaf," you said and tapped his chest, before stepping out of his embrace.
 "Olaf? I was thinking more Kristoff."
 You tapped your finger on your chin, looking him up and down. "You're right, I was wrong. You're definitely Sven."
 "The reindeer?"
 "I knew you've watched that movie more than just once with your niece."
 You were finally at the door, and Jamie was entering a code to get into the building since there wasn't anything going on at the AAC today. "Ok, you got me, but really Sven?"
 "What's wrong with Sven? He's sweet, kind, lovable…" Shit the moment the word came out of your mouth you wanted to take it back. Of course, Jamie was lovable too but you weren't sure you were ready to be the one loving him. There was too much uncertainty in doing that just yet. You coughed trying to cover up the slip of tongue and then added, "He's also oddly quiet when there are people around. Kind of like someone else I know."
 He raked his hand through his hair, an action that your fingers longed to do. "I'm only that way around people I don't know…and the media." You knew this about him, of course, because you'd watched a few of his interviews. His answers were always clipped and short, which sometimes gave the impression he was standoffish, but then he would throw a little comment here and there and the real Jamie would come out. "But anyhow, we should be getting on with the tour."
 "Lead the way."
  JAMIE'S POV
 Had she really just called you lovable? Moreover, had she just been about to kiss you? That damn watch of hers kept beeping at the most inappropriate times and it was maddening. Something had changed since she'd practically run out of your house this morning. You weren't sure what, but she'd definitely let her guard down some, and you were all for it. You knew it was going to take baby steps to get back into her heart, but those steps seemed to be coming more and more frequently and you weren't complaining.
 You were surprised when (Y/N) agreed to the tour tonight, for you thought for sure that she'd avoid you at all cost after you had fallen asleep with her on the sofa last night. It was the last thing that you intended but she had felt so right in your arms, that you'd just let yourself get caught up in the moment. God, she looked so adorable this morning, hair messy, with her cheeks all rosy from sleeping on you, and then how she was wearing your sweats; there was nothing that you wanted more than to see her like that every day for the rest of your life. Baby steps, you reminded yourself.
 The tour around the arena went pretty well. You showed her everything that you could think of, ending the tour in the training room, just as you had the other day. She was taking everything in, noticing that Dave and his crew had implemented all the ideas she had talked about the other day. "Everything look ok?"
 "Oh yeah, they did an amazing job." She was opening drawers and checking supplies.
 "Well, I guess that's the end of the tour then." You glanced down at your watch to notice that it was almost six o'clock. You were definitely going to hit rush hour traffic. "If we head out now, it'll probably take us an hour to get home. Maybe a little less, if I hurry."
 "Oh, do you have to be some place?"
 "Um…no. Why?"
 "Well, you're all dressed up, thought maybe you had a hot date or something." There was a tremble in her voice that usually wasn't there, and you had to wonder if she asked the question in hopes that you weren't seeing anyone.
 "No, no hot date. I actually…" Shit, now it was your turn to get all tongue-tied. "Well, I mean…I thought we could have dinner downtown here and really celebrate your big surgery."
 "Oh!" There was a bit of shock in her voice. "I mean last night was perfect. You don't have to take me to dinner, after everything you did."
 You raked your hands through your hair again. It was a bad nervous habit, that served as a distraction while you tried to think of something to say. This time there was nothing clever that came to mind. "What if I want to take you to dinner?"
 The corner of her lip picked up on the right side of her face, that was the first sign she gave, telling you that she liked the idea. It got you excited that she might just agree, to the plan you had, but then it seemed like she was getting into her head, as she took a moment to think about your offer. "You know what?" It wasn't really a question, so you remained quiet. "Dinner sounds amazing, but only on one condition." You cocked a brow at her, silently asking what that was. "I get to buy."
 "Oh no, I asked you out." Oh shit, that came out wrong, you didn't mean it to sound like you'd asked her out on a date, that for sure would scare her away. "Besides my mom would kill me if she found out I let you pay," you quickly added hoping that it would cover up your blunder.
 "Hmm," she mused. "I guess we'll just have to see who has the quicker hands when the check comes then." That sure sounded like a yes to you.
 "You're on, but I plan on winning."
 "We'll see," she said as she headed out the door of the training room. "Now, let me see if I can remember how to get out of here." She led the way out to the car and you only had to direct her one time, which was pretty good considering it took you a week to find your way around the place.
 The restaurant was one of the finest Dallas had to offer, and one of the main reasons why you didn't want (Y/N) paying, though you were sure that wouldn't deter her from trying. Being that you weren't sure if (Y/N) was going to say yes to dinner, you didn't have a reservation, though when you slipped the maître d a hundred-dollar bill and your name; you were suddenly shown the nicest table in the place, one that was quiet and out of the way. Conversation between you and (Y/N) flowed easily, as did the wine, though you made sure not to drink too much as you'd be driving the two of you home. It also helped you grab the check when the waiter brought it at the end of the night.
 "That's not fair." (Y/N) chided as your long arms reached out and snagged the leather pouch out of the man's hands, who looked a bit taken back by the action.
 "You said whoever had the fastest hands."
 "Yes, but I clearly had more wine than you, which limited my ability, and now I'm convinced you did that on purpose." She was always so adorable when she pouted, but right now you just wanted to kiss those pursed lips and you were having a hard time holding yourself back from doing just that.
 "One of us needed to drive home, but you didn't protest when I poured that last glass."
 "Well, it clearly didn't help my motor skills that's for sure. Though please mark it down, that I am paying next time." Next time? So, she planned on going out with you again. You were making more headway than you thought.
 You decided to forge ahead while she was in such a good mood, as you were coming close to running out of excuses for the two of you to get together. "And when would this next time be?"
 "Um, I'll have to check my schedule, but maybe I could cook you dinner next week. You know as maybe a thank you for helping me." She sat there across from you with this shy little smile playing across her lips. The look all too tantalizing, for it was doing things that it shouldn't to your nether regions.
 "Dinner at your place huh? Sounds like an offer I can't refuse." You paid the bill and then the two of you headed out. The drive back was fun, as the two of you continued with your flirtatious banter the whole way home. When you turned onto your street, disappointment reared its ugly head as the night was coming to an end. You wanted to spend more time with her. Hell, if you were being realistic you want her to fall asleep in your arms again so you could hold her all night long. You pulled into the garage, then got out of the car to help (Y/N) out.
 "Thanks for everything today, Jame. Including dinner which I was supposed to pay for."
 "You know I can run some drills with you to sharpen your hand-eye coordination if you want." There were also some other drills you'd like to be doing with her in the bedroom.
 "Well, I may just take you up on that." The two of you were standing in the driveway, not knowing how to end the night. If this was truly a date, you'd walk her home and maybe kiss her, but would she smack you if you tried that now? "I should be getting home. Thanks again for everything." She started down the drive, walking at a leisurely pace.
 "Hey (Y/NN)," you called out and she turned back towards you as you trotted up beside her. "Can I walk you home?" She gave you a curious look, and it did sound rather funny considering she lived only two doors down, but you weren't ready for your time with her to end just yet.
 You were just about to stumble through how it was just for safety, when she said, "Sure." You smiled at her and the two of you started the extremely short walk to her house. "You know, tonight was a lot of fun."
 "Yeah, it really was." You wanted to say it reminded you of old times, but you didn't want to bring up the bad ones that also went with that. "We should do it more often."
 "I'd like that." (Y/N) was shocking you at every turn tonight and you weren't sure what mystical force was in the air but you prayed that it didn't go away and make her hate you again. A comfortable silence fell over you both, it was one that you had with her long ago, though back then it was as if you could read each other thoughts. Now, you weren't sure what was going on in that complex mind of hers but if it continued to lead her on a path towards you; you weren't going to question it.
 You were just about to her front door, and damn if that didn't feel as if the two of you were speed walking over, even though you were strolling at a leisurely pace. Again, you searched for something so that you wouldn't have to leave her company just yet. "Hey, how's your patient doing? The one who's leg you saved."
 "Really great actually. I stopped in right before I left. He's got a long road ahead of him, but he was in really good spirits today."
 "All because of you."
 "I wouldn't go that far."
 "I would." She blushed at the compliment, as you finally made it to the front door.
 "Well, this is me." She said with a cute little smile and a shrug of her shoulder.
 There was really nothing more you could say to keep you at her front door, so you found yourself saying, "I guess my duty is fulfilled…now that you're safe at home and all."
 "So it seems." Was that a hint of reluctance you heard in her voice? Was she as sad to see the night end as you were? "Thanks again, Jame. It was fun." She entered the code to get in the house, unlocking the door and opening it. What she did next almost had you falling over, as she went up on her toes and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek. "Goodnight, Jame."
 A smile so bright, it could've lit up all of Dallas, appeared on your face, and she ducked inside right as you said. "Goodnight, (Y/NN)." As soon as the door closed, you pressed a hand to your cheek making sure that what had just happened was real and not something that you imagined. It had been real alright, and you felt like you were fifteen again, all giddy at the thought that the girl you liked, liked you back.
 Thank goodness, you only lived two doors down as you don't remember how you got back inside your own home, but there you were standing in front of the bathroom mirror grinning like a fool as you looked at the spot (Y/N) had just kissed. Now more than ever, you couldn't wait to see her again. Unfortunately, you had no excuse to call her this time or no definite date of when you'd see her again, just a promise that the two of you would have dinner again soon. While you looked forward to that, you wished that it would be happening sooner rather than later. You'd just have to come up with a plan.
 It seemed fate had your back this time though, as the following evening found her knocking on your door. "I hate to do this, but can I come in?" (Y/N) asked as she stood outside in the pouring rain, looking like a drowned rat. Well, maybe not a rat, but a very cute wet puppy for sure.
 "Yeah, sure." You said stepping aside as a loud crack of thunder sounded in the air.
 "I'm sorry to do this, but the code to the house isn't working and I left my phone, and my bag, at Jessi's when I was taking out her stitches." She stood there dripping wet in your foyer. "If I could just use your phone to call her, I'll run back over there."
 "Run? Where's your car?"
 "Locked, in the garage. I didn't realize it was going to storm and had just walked over there. I was almost home when it started."
 "Let me grab you a towel." You went and grabbed one out of the guest bathroom downstairs, then handed it to her to dry off. "I'll call Jess for you, but you're not running back over there. I'll drive you."
 She gave you a smile, before toweling off her hair. "Thank you."
 You went to the kitchen to grab your phone and call your soon to be sister-in-law. "Hey, Jess."
 "Hey, Chubbs, what's up?" Jess replied.
 "(Y/N) locked herself out of the house and I guess she left her stuff at your place. I was going to drive her over so she could get it if that's ok."
 There was silence on the other end of the phone and you were wondering if the two of you got disconnected or something with the storm. "Hmmm," she finally mumbled. "I'm going to do you a huge favor here and tell you I'm not home, even though I totally am."
 "What?"
 "You know I love you, but you're so dense sometimes." How were you the one that was dumb when she didn't make any sense? "Tell (Y/N) that I had to run to a friend's house and you're not sure when I'll be home with the storm. That way the two of you can spend a little more time together."
 "Oh," you said as you finally caught on to her plan.
 "You owe me one. Tell her I'll call you when I get back, which probably won't be for a while." You'd take all the time that you could get with (Y/N). "If you don't answer, I'll take that as a good sign." You could almost see her winking at you through the phone.
 "Thank Jess. You're literally the best."
 "I know," she quipped back, then hung up the phone.
 You went back out to where (Y/N) was standing in your entryway. "Apparently, Jess took off to a friend's house the minute you left. She said she's didn't realize you left your stuff or she would've dropped it off. She's going to call when she gets back, but it's going to be a bit with the storm."
 "Oh," (Y/N) stood there a little shocked, not knowing what to do. "Well, maybe if I go try the code again it will work."
 Another crack of thunder, with streaks of lightning, filled the sky. "(Y/N), you are not going back over there in the rain. Just stay here until the storm dies down. They usually pass pretty quick." But then again, sometimes they didn't and this was one you were hoping would stick around for at least a few more hours.
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mrsseverussnape · 3 years ago
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Love Is You - chapter 7
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Scarlett woke up quite early this morning. She was feeling pretty good, apparently talking with someone and going out were pretty much what she has needed. She wanted to return the favour by preparing Severus's breakfast this morning. She dressed up and headed to the kitchens. She wasn't the brightest chef so just made cheese toast, scrambled eggs, cherry tomatoes to the side and fresh orange juice. She took the tray and headed to Severus's room happily. It was hard to hold the tray and knock on the door at the same time but she managed to do it without causing a mess. Severus opened the door couple of minutes later with a sleepy look on his face and a messy hair.
"Oh, i guess i woke you up this time..."
"We are even now. Come in." Severus showed her the table and she put the tray on.
"Today's breakfast is from me, hope you like it."
"It looks delicious, thank you." He sat down after her and took a bite of his toast.
"I did improve my kitchen skills tiny bit, i can show you sometime." Scarlett grinned proudly. She was not the best in the kitchen since her family always had house elves for the cooking. And when she was together with Severus, he was doing most of the cooking and he had a talent for it. His caramel brownies were Scarlett’s favourite.
"If you say so, i am excited to see then."
"Don't get your hopes too high tho."
"Ah i already did, they changed from 1 to 1,5." Severus smirked at her.
"You are a jerk Severus!" Scarlett chuckled and slapped his leg lightly.
He laughed, he loved to annoy Scarlett like that. "Jokes aside thanks for the breakfast Scarlett."
"My pleasure." She smiled softly. "I better leave so you can do whatever you want, i already woke you up early on a Sunday morning." She stood up to leave. Her mood has started to change, she felt like she’s being a burden for him.
"It is totally fine, i normally wake up early anyways. Last night i marked some papers so i went to bed quite late."
"Rest then. You already spent the last two days with me and i was pretty tiring with my nonsense."
Severus shook his head in disapproval. "I like spending my time with you Scarlett. We can all have problems time to time, life is not always easy and fun so don't feel guilty or anything."
"You do me good Severus, i feel better when i am with you..."
Hearing those words made his heart melt. He was very happy that he was actually being helpful to her.
"I will take the dishes and come back then. And meanwhile you can get dressed." She smiled and fixed his messy black hair slightly.
"Thanks..." Severus smiled shyly while she was leaving.
~~~~
    Scarlett was walking back to Severus's chamber when she came across with Professor McGonagall.
"Ah Scarlett i was looking for you! You need to go to Albus's room; you have a guest."
"Guest? Who is it?" Not many people knew she was staying at Hogwarts so she wasn’t expecting any guests.
"The new deputy minister."
Now Scarlett had a even more confused look on her face so McGonagall continued. "I know you are not in the mood for such meeting, so i tried to send him back but he was pretty persistent."
"That's weird but i guess i have to meet him... Thank you Minerva." She smiled and headed to Dumbledore's room. She knocked and walked in after hearing the headmaster’s invitation.
"Oh hello Scarlett! Someone wants to meet you, i will leave you alone." Dumbledore greeted her and then left, leaving her alone with the new deputy minister. The tall man has stood up, Scarlett took a look at him and first thing came to her mind was he was looking like a human version of a husky dog with blond hair. His light blue eyes were so piercing and made her feel uncomfortable in a way.
"Hello Miss Rose. I am Amos Langley, the new deputy minister." He held his hand out for her to shake.
"Nice to meet you Mr. Langley." She shook his hand but his grip was strong enough to hurt her hand.
He looked at her head to toe attentively. He has seen her before but mostly on newspapers and magazines. She was the type of woman who so many men would dream of to be with. Even though she wasn’t looking her best right now, she still had the captivating aura. "I heard the news. It's such a shame you've been cheated on, you are such a beautiful and intelligent woman Miss Rose." Amos sent a tiny smirk to her way while sitting down. She was feeling extremely uncomfortable with him and just wanted this meeting to end as quickly as possible.
"My personal life is none of your business and I am asking you to be respectful. Beside that I am guessing you didn't come here just to meet me Mr. Langley, may i ask what's the real reason? Because i don't have much time." Scarlett replied firmly.
"I thought you have plenty of time Miss Rose since you are unemployed now. Anyways, the real reason is that i want to abolish a law which you legislated."
"You know you can do it without asking me, right?"
"I know but the minister wanted me to consult you first, he is still very fond of you Miss Rose." He made an unamused expression.
"Which law is that?"
"The one that causing death eaters to serve in Azkaban for rest of their lives."
"Why would you want to change that one?" Scarlett raised her eyebrow questioningly.
"I think it is very cruel to put someone in jail because they chose a different side than the majority."
"It is not about choosing a different side but the side they chose murdered innocent people and caused a war."
"Everybody deserves a second chance Miss Rose, even the "bad" ones."
"I am not the decision maker anymore; you can do whatever you want since you are the new deputy minister but if you ask me i don't think this law should be abolished." Scarlett stood up, she had enough of this man.
"Thank you for sharing your opinion Miss Rose but like you said, you are not the decision maker anymore. I just come here because the minister wanted it."
"Well okay then. Have a good day."
"You too Miss Rose, you too." Amos Langley watched her go with a challenging look on his face.
~~~~
Scarlett was so confused and annoyed, it was such a weird conversation and made her extremely uncomfortable. She went to Severus's room directly after it ended.
"I thought you got lost on the way." Severus said while letting her in.
"New deputy minister came here to "meet" me. But it was actually a showdown." She sat on a chair while murmuring angrily.
"By looking at your face, i am guessing you didn't like him?" Severus sat in front of her.
"I hated him. Severus he was just... so weird."
"What do you mean?"
"He kept calling me "Miss Rose" in an annoying tone, literally crushed my hand while shaking it, mentioned the cheating situation and he wants to abolish the law that i made about death eaters."
"I wasn't expecting that much fuckery to be honest. What is his problem?"
"I don't know but i got such a bad vibe from him, something is off with him but i can't put my finger on. I will write a letter to the minister later."
"That's a good idea. Don’t think much about him, probably he was just trying to annoy you."
"He was so weird..." she mumbled to herself once again.
~~~~
    Around 8 pm Carina and Remus turned back to Hogwarts after spending their weekend with Sirius.
"I will come with you, i want to see Scarlett as well." Remus followed Carina to her chamber.
"Sure, uncle Rem, hopefully she is doing better. I couldn't stop thinking about her."
"Her letters sounded good though. I think she is doing okay."
Carina nodded and walked in her chamber but it was dark and Scarlett was not here. She immediately started to worry, thought the worst and run to the Professor Snape's room, knocking it in hope to find her there. Nobody answered the door, now that made her even more worried if it’s possible.
"Where are they!? Did something happen to mum and he had to take her to the hospital...?" Carina was panicking and pacing around. Remus held her softly to stop.
"Don't worry if something has happened Severus would let you know for sure. Maybe he is in his class, marking papers? Let’s check there."
He walked her to the potions class and Carina rushed in with worried eyes. Severus and Scarlett turned to see the person who interrupted them.
"Mum!" Carina run to her. "I couldn't find you in the room, i was scared!"
Scarlett hugged her daughter and caressed her hair to calm her down. "I am fine, we are playing chess here."
"Oh... i am sorry that i rushed in Professor..."
"It is okay." He smiled slightly.
"How are you doing Scarlett?" Remus asked her while kissing her cheek. That caused him getting a deadly glance from Severus.
"I am good, pretty good actually. Thanks to Severus, he took care of me really well." She smiled softly at him.
"No doubt he did... Anyways, you are having the dinner with me tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay, i would like that."
"Okay then, good night everybody." Remus waved at them before he left the classroom.
They wished him good night except Severus.
"Mum i will be in the room, okay? You can continue your game. Good night professor and thanks again."
"Good night Carina." Severus smiled at her and turned his attention back to Scarlett.
"I was taking your queen." Scarlett grinned and knocked his queen down. "Aaaand checkmate!"
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sunnyrollins · 5 years ago
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Hello there lovely! Firstly, I LOVE your writing. You're just so GOOD. It literally lights up my day when I see you've posted a Rollisi prompt. Much love! Secondly, I was wondering if there was any chance of you doing a song prompt. I adore "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur for Rollisis and would love to see some sort of fic based on it. No pressure if it's not your style. Take it or leave it. Love your work! You're the hero us Rollisi fans need!
[anon, this literally made me cry ilysm ! i’m so sorry this took me so long to get to ! i hope you saw the post i made shortly after you sent this saying i was doing it so you don’t think i just totally ignored you especially after all your kindness !]
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The precinct felt particularly quiet that night. It usually did after a particularly difficult case. And, even after years of working at SVU, nothing was more difficult for Amanda than working cases involving children.
She sat at her desk, looking intently at the pictures of her daughters that were proudly displayed, unable to stop the familiar, intrusive thoughts from encroaching into her consciousness. She’d seen the worst of what the world had to offer working in the field that she chose. If anything were to ever happen to either of her girls…
She had enough restraint to flip the switch before the thought could fully manifest. Jesse and Billie were okay. They were fine…probably warm and comfortable in their pajamas, unwinding before bed. The thought was comforting, but also brought on a wave of almost guilt. Her kids were happy and safe and loved. The kids who’d been victimized by that animal…
“Rollins,” Amanda blinked back the tears that had threatened to spill at the corners of her eyes and turned to face Olivia at the sound of her voice. “Go home. Be with the girls.”
Amanda shook her head, as if to jostle the dark thoughts from her mind, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Yeah,” she agreed. Her eyes flickered to the framed photographs of her daughters one last time before she finally stood up from her desk. “These cases make you wanna go home and hug the people you love a little tighter.”
“I know Noah and I will be watching an extra hour of TV together tonight,” Olivia agreed with a small, sad smile.
Amanda returned the sentiment, but thought twice before offering a response on how her own night would transpire. Keeping things in her personal life under wraps had been getting inexplicably more difficult as time went on, and she’d found that she had almost slipped up on quite a few occasions within the past month.
Keeping secrets from Olivia and Fin was discernibly not her favorite thing to do, but it was necessary…for the sake of the job as well as for the sake of preserving what was hers and only hers for as long as possible. She loved them like they were family, but they — if nothing else — were opinionated. And it had admittedly been nice not having an outside opinion on her life outside of work since she’d been pregnant with Billie.
When it was clear that a nod was all the response that her detective was going to give, Olivia pulled her bag up a little higher onto her shoulder, fastening the final button on her coat. “Give the girls an extra kiss for me,” she said.
Amanda nodded again, her smile a little less melancholic this time. “See you in the morning, Captain.”
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When she arrived back home, Amanda stopped outside of her apartment to fish her keys out of her coat pocket. From the other side of the door, she could hear a familiar voice, and a small smile touched her lips, as she paused to listen to the sound of the thick, Staten Island accent reading the words to one of Jesse’s favorite books that she had all but memorized by that point.
“The witch had a cat and a hat that was black, and long ginger hair in a braid down her-”
“Back!” Jesse finished excitedly.
Amanda smiled to herself before finally unlocking and opening the door, and the sight in front of her — with Billie sleeping soundly against Carisi’s shoulder and Jesse curled up against his side to look at the pictures in the book — was enough to send every fearful and negative thought about the recently closed case back into the furthest corners of her consciousness.
“Mommy!” Jesse exclaimed with a wave in her direction once she closed the door behind her.
The small smile that Amanda previously wore grew as she exchanged glances between all of the familiar faces. “You three havin’ fun without me?”
Jesse climbed into Carisi’s lap to take the book out of his hands and turn it to show the pictures to her mother. “We’re reading Room on the Broom!”
“Again?” Amanda asked with mock surprise. As if by second nature, she unclasped her necklace to remove the diamond ring that had been tucked into her shirt all day before slipping it back into its rightful place on her left hand. “One more reading and Uncle Sonny might start asking for a lobotomy.”
Carisi chuckled, but Jesse simply looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What’s a bononomy?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he assured her. “How about before we finish me and Mom get Billie settled for the night and you can show her the picture you drew before, alright?”
“Okay!” Jesse agreed easily and with a jovial smile. She clambered out of his lap and set the book down on the coffee table, taking off down the hallway nearly as soon as her slippers hit the floor.
Amanda took the sleeping toddler from Carisi’s arms, kissing her head and holding her just a little bit closer than usual, and he followed behind her as they made their way into Billie’s dimly lit bedroom to put her to bed. After tucking her in and whispering a gentle goodnight, she turned to the man behind her, winding her arms tightly around his waist, and resting her head against the crook of his neck.
It seemed contrived, but she couldn’t help but notice that all of the darkness that had tainted her world throughout the years had become a little bit lighter since she’d finally allowed herself to fully let him in. From childhood, life had been anything but easy.. It all lingered in the back of her consciousness in a seemingly endless cycle. Maybe it always would. But sometimes in the simplest moments…when she’d watch him tuck the girls into bed, or she’d wake up to a gentle kiss before he’d get up to put on a pot of coffee…it all seemed to fade away for a little while.
She breathed out nearly all of the tension of the day in a soft sigh, her eyes squeezing closed as if to help her to memorize everything about him in that moment — the warmth of his skin, the smell of the cologne on the collar of his shirt, the soft whisper of his voice when he finally spoke.
“You alright?”
Her hand smoothed absentmindedly down his back, and she pulled away from the hug just enough to tilt her head up to look at him. “Better now,” she responded.
Now that I’m with my family.
She’d completed the thought exclusively in her mind, but the way he quirked a curious eyebrow and the corners of his lips turned up in amusement let her know that he’d recognized the implication. “Gettin’ domestic on me, Rollins?” He teased.
She rolled her eyes playfully, and when he leaned down to kiss her, she aptly dodged it with a laugh. “If I ever get domestic you’ll know it,” she assured him.
The truth was, she had gotten more domestically sentimental throughout the year and a half they’d been together romantically. She had, admittedly, rolled her eyes at the “marry your best friend” sentiment in the past. It seemed too cliche…childish even. Maybe that was because — before now — the vast majority of men she’d dated in the past hadn’t actually been her friends at all, she wondered.
“I thought you might be headin’ in that direction when you actually agreed to marry me,” he finally said with a chuckle.
“Well if it’s any consolation I’ve still got time to change my mind.” Her smile indicated that she was only joking without her having to say it, and this time when he leaned down to peck her lips, she graciously accepted. “Hopefully we’re both still employed by the time we actually get to the part where we tie the knot.”
For as much as she wanted to blame the detective skills of Manhattan SVU for the fact that it had been getting more and more difficult to hide the nature of their relationship from the squad — and for as much as that was partially to blame — she knew she hadn’t been doing herself any favors either. Half the time she’d go out of her way to avoid him when he’d come into the precinct, and the other half she’d be so tense that she could feel it in her shoulders.
It hadn’t exactly dawned on her until Olivia had pulled her aside one day to ask if they were okay…if they’d had some kind of falling out because — according to the Captain — they’d been standoffish around one another. She could only hope her own shock in response to the observation wasn’t evident enough to seem suspicious.
“You’re borrowin’ trouble again,” he pointed out in response to the offhanded comment.
“So I take it you’re ready to convince Hadid that marrying one of the detectives you work with somehow doesn’t present a conflict of interest?”
“I’m a lawyer, Rollins. Convincing is kinda what I do.” He paused, cupping her face gently between his hands to look her in the eyes. “Don’t worry about it, alright? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. And either way…it’s all gonna work out.”
She knew he had absolutely no way of knowing that for sure, but something about the gentleness of his tone and the sincerity in his eyes made her want to believe it.  
“You’re right. Gettin’ fired doesn’t sound too bad,” she finally said with a teasing smile, and when he chuckled with a roll of his eyes she nudged him playfully with her elbow. “I could use a vacation.”
When the floor outside of Billie’s bedroom creaked just slightly, Amanda instinctively unwrapped her arms from around him and turned to find Jesse standing in the doorway with a piece of paper in her hands. With a proud smile, the little girl thrust the drawing out to show her mother, and Amanda regarded the crayon-drawn figure with a bright smile.
“It’s Frannie!” The little girl declared, but she seemed to easily lose her focus on the task at hand as she turned her attention to Carisi. “Can we finish the story now?”
“Yeah, of course. C’mon.”
He grunted dramatically when he picked her up, offering a playful comment about how fast she’d been growing, and Amanda couldn’t help but smile at the way her daughter glowed excitedly in response.
The three of them quickly settled back onto the couch. Jesse sat attentively in Carisi’s lap, her eyes glued to the pages of the picture book as he picked up where he had left off, and Amanda leaned against him, nestled affectionately against his side. As he read, she slowly but surely fazed out the words and allowed herself to simply drift into the comfortable familiarity of his voice.
After all of the men who had burned her in the past — those who had left her high and dry or slept around behind her back — she had almost started to believe that there was no point in trying to build a romantic relationship as it would only end in heartbreak. But as she rested her head against the shoulder of the man she was going to marry…her former partner…her best friend…she let herself embrace the fact that she hadn’t let it get that far.
She thought back to the night that he’d asked her to marry him. When Al had proposed, it was out of perceived necessity. He’d wanted to make an “honest woman” out of her. With Carisi, it was different. He didn’t have to marry her. He wanted to.
“I want us to spend the rest of our lives like this, Amanda.”
A small, subconscious smile touched her lips in response to the memory, and when her eyes shifted up to him, watching his eyes skim over the children’s book as Jesse listened and leaned against his shoulder with sleepy eyes, she knew she wanted the same.
She wanted him to be there through everything that life would come to throw at her. She wanted to grow old with him by her side.
She wanted forever with him. And the ring around her finger assured her that he was never going to let her go.
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differenttriumphdragon · 5 years ago
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My Best Cookie Votes and Why: Round 1, Part 1
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Mint Choco: While Orange is nice and all, she's ultimately a pretty flat character...and not just in the literal sense either. Minty, on the other hand, has an actual backstory, for starters, plus he's not an absolute dick to his closest friend like his opponent is. Plus, Mint's implied romance with Cocoa is infinitely more satisfying than the Citrus Love Triangle that they do absolutely nothing with. (As a side note, I find it hilarious that the very first matchup is literally just Orange Juice vs. Toothpaste.)
Sea Fairy: I like Tiger Lily and all, but literally her only purpose in canon seems to be to never get told what anything is, which is extremely frustrating on the part of the other Cookies and honestly hits way too close to home. That, and her major character arc with Princess is NEVER touched upon, while Sea Fairy presumably actually managed to reunite with Moonlight.
Pilot: This matchup was essentially Good, Loving (probably surrogate) Grandparent versus Awful, Neglectful, Irresponsible Grandparent who is confirmed to have attempted to alter her granddaughter's DNA in order to change her personality. So yeah.
Pink Choco: Neither of these Cookies really stand out at all. I am a fan of Pink's Magical Girl theming, though, and honestly I'd rather see her on stage than Carol. Also, Pink's design is leagues better.
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Walnut: I'll admit, she's just more endearing to me for some reason. Her power is more interesting (and I actually understand how exactly it's supposed to work), and honestly the idea of a little detective with a teddy bear assistant is just adorable. I'm still mad about Angel, but that's not exactly HER fault, now is it?
Dark Choco: DC is a compelling fallen hero character who drives the entire story of Ovenbreak with his disappearance. White Choco Cookie is French, and that's about it. Also:
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How can you not vote for him when he promises you such important lore? (Granted, he calls you out for being vain if you pick him. Hey, any lore is good lore, pal! Also, I have long hair I need to worry about too!)
Purple Yam: Honestly, the fact that he actually questions the bad writing sold me on voting for him. He's also a genuinely good character despite his only emotion being anger.
Firecracker: I absolutely love her 80s arcade aesthetic, even in spite of her being way too young to have ever been to an arcade in the 80s. She genuinely wants everyone to have fun, too. Also, Marshmallow got Flame Bat and Celestial Star locked up for her Trial.
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Squid Ink: To be honest, this was one of the tougher choices. In the end, I decided that Inky needed more love after what they've been through, so they got the vote. Sorry, Fig.
Roguefort: Devsis has a really bad habit this list of putting far more interesting recent characters against old characters with nothing really to them. I mean, yeah, Ninja's mysterious and all, but you've done absolutely nothing with him since not even LINE, but the defunct game Ovenbreak 2! Other than maybe change his name from Ninjabread, anyway. Hell, Tiny Ghost is more interesting than him, but even then newer players wouldn't even know that, since the one throwaway line hinting at something more was in a Cookie Quest, which were removed from the game entirely over a year ago. Roguefort is more interesting by default.
Vampire: Can I be honest for a sec here? I hate Pancake with a passion. He deliberately makes himself seem cuter to get his way. Based on his interactions with Cream Puff, he's just as cruel as his big bro, if not as outwardly aggressive. No, Pancake relies on psychological manipulation to get everything he wants, and the worst part is IT'S FUCKING WORKING. As we speak, he's stealing a Magic Candy from Devil, from Kiwi...hell, he's even stealing it from Vampire! And now he's dominating the polls, adding insult to debilitating injury. He's not even fucking cute. Yeah, I said it.
Pistachio: Soda has absolutely no personality other than surfboard. Do I even need to say more?
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Peppermint: DE could be SUCH a good villain if Devsis could decide what kind of villain she even is. Also if they remembered she was a major villain at all.
Lemon: I'll admit, I see a lot of myself in Lemon. Mostly in feeling artificial and having basically no friends, ever. I honestly think I'd be in a much worse place if I didn't have a brother. Whip could be great if they did anything with the White Swan/Black Swan dynamic he has with Skating Queen.
Pitaya: I've always had problems with the "You can only eat if you work for it" mentality. First of all, you need food to get energy to work, and if you aren't fed, then how are you going to work hard for food!? Second, what if you're disabled or otherwise can't work? Do you just starve to death, then? It just sounds awful!
Cream Puff: She's trying her best.
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Kumiho: ...I honestly don't remember.
Pomegranate: A genuinely good villain who stole the show with her introduction. She could've easily been a Knight of Cerebus if the writers cared enough.
Cyborg: Blackberry abandoned a child relying on her protection to chase after a man who didn't remotely need her help. Also, she hates Devil. Also also, Cyborg is cool.
Hero: If you've read Hellfyre Speaks, you can probably guess why I personally picked Hero. I'm just surprised at the popular vote; it seemed to me like Herb was way more popular! But I guess not? Or at least not with early voters.
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Werewolf: He's far more fleshed out than Gumball by far.
Devil: Have I ever actually explained why Devil is my favorite? Like, sure, he's an asshole, but he's the fun, ineffectual kind of asshole you actually wanna root for that you see in cartoons; like, in shows focused on a 'villain' character's scheming, usually with a naive idiot going along with it and a very-much-ignored voice of reason. Like in Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, or Evil Con Carne. Devil also has a flair for the dramatic, a knack for 'evil' schemes, and even the perfect foil to play off of! He'd be an absolute goldmine when it comes to the more lighthearted antics between acts, but Devsis is apparently content to just haul up gravel.
Knight: I'll be honest, I saw Alchemist and immediately clicked the other Cookie without looking who it was. But this isn't a post about her, so let's talk about Knight. First off, he'd be the perfect antagonist to Devil; Devil goes full ham when acting out an 'evil' plan, while Knight takes everything WAY too seriously. He adores Princess Cookie but doesn't know jack shit about her, which juxtaposed with Princess's nonchalant rebuttals of everything he claims about her makes it hilarious in a kind of pathetic way. (Ex. Knight claiming that Princess would probably never eat Jam again, then Princess replying she could totally go for some right now to the exact same question.) He's delusional in a way that you'd feel bad for him if he wasn't so over-the-top about it, and yet at the same time he does have skills that match up with his headcanon of how things work, just not the reputation.
Matcha: Seems like the person who'd play both sides for her amusement. I'd keep an eye on her.
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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago
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Lux & Dash
Lux: Hey 😊 Lux: wanna hang out today? Dash: Bummer! There's no way Dash: I promised Sapphire we'd hang Lux: Can't I come with? What are you doing? Dash: she wouldn't be down Dash: you get the picture, yeah? Lux: I don't think I know Sapphire...? Dash: she has a groovy Cleopatra vibe Lux: 🐍🐍🐍 love that Lux: you gonna be Marc or Julius? Dash: Who did she dig more? Lux: You're more of the Antony type Lux: they had their own drinking club called inimitable livers Lux: and they played pranks on people in disguise Dash: Right on! Lux: I hope your love affair doesn't end in such dire circumstances Dash: it'll be outta sight, don't sweat it Dash: she's made loads of her own promises back Lux: She's not the sister of anyone is she? Dash: Onyx but he's cool Lux: Hmm, actually, my point is moot regardless, if she's Cleopatra, it's Octavia's brother you need to worry about Lux: Cleo could 💀 her own Lux: never mind then, you should be fine 😁 Dash: you know how to lay a real trip, huh? Dash: I almost forgot Lux: forgot about Marcus Antonius?! Lux: don't wanna be doomed to repeat it, Dashiel, think on Dash: no doom in my 🔮 babe Lux: 🌈✨ good times Dash: that's more the shit to 🗨 into being Lux: I don't think you can blame the eventual fall of Rome on me being in your inbox when you'd rather I weren't 😄 Dash: No blame, I just gotta do my own thing Lux: do you think any of us can ever be unique Dash: Beats me, that's heavy 💭 Lux: I thought that's what you were getting at Lux: Bummer Lux: I'll ask around Dash: I'm not trying to get into anything with you Dash: later, maybe Lux: You aren't going to have an answer for me later Lux: Don't sweat it, Dash Dash: if you wanna go ahead & cut me some slack I'll have magic for you Dash: just not now Lux: It doesn't matter Lux: I want conversation and someone to hang with, you want neither, that's chill Dash: what you want isn't a bad scene but it's not mine Dash: I can turn you onto someone whose it is, you'll have a blast Lux: that's okay ✌ Lux: I'll make my own friends, continue to Dash: Cool Lux: godspeed 🚀 I will let you know my findings 🗳📋 Dash: you know where to find me to lay whatever you want on me Dash: 🍎🍏🌳 Lux: what do you like most about 🍎🍏🌳 there Dash: 👀 Lux: good answer Lux: the ☀ looks best through 🍃🌳🍂 Dash: & the sky looks 🍒 from that high Lux: 🍒🥧 sounds good Dash: I'm hip to that Lux: does that mean you're going to make one? Lux: I'll get the 🍨 a la mode or nothing baby Dash: you're the girl, why aren't you making it? Lux: ha, I wasn't raised one though, so that kind of nonsense does not work on me 😅 Lux: I like brown sugar and cinnamon on the top please Dash: I'll find a 🐤 who's not wise to it & pass that on Dash: but they won't be fitting an apron how you would ✨ Lux: I don't want deception pie Lux: it will taste all the bitter for it 😖😖😖 yuck yuck yuck Dash: I'll pick the 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑 for it Dash: keep it sweet & honest Lux: make me a basket Lux: that way you get to be sweet and I don't have to participate in any misogyny for baked goods Dash: What's with the goddess demands when you know I've got demands on my time? Lux: you're so busy, right? Dash: 🚀🪐💫 Dash: I can't be weaving you a basket like it's no biggie Lux: well that is not what I meant 😏 Lux: but if you can't handle it then I'm sure I'll manage just fine Dash: weave a 🐤 a basket and she's 💖 for a day, teach her to basket weave... Lux: how very like a man to claim mastery over a skill women for centuries just did because they had to Lux: you had your chance to be 👏 over your pastry making expertise but you declined Dash: how righteous of you to keep the faith on that belief but yo, can you do it? I can Dash: declining everything I can teach you is a bad trip to be on Dash: you said you weren't down to feast on bitter fruit, that's gotta include sour 🍇 baby Lux: It's a very wholesome past life you've painted for me if I somehow acquired that skill Lux: certainly a prettier picture than the truth alas Lux: I haven't declined any invitation Lux: that's you Dash: I haven't either Dash: There's a time & a place for us to reconnect Dash: after Sapphire's Dash: & Lotus' Lux: your schedule isn't going to dictate mine Lux: we'll see when that time is Lux: 🌍🌌💫 willing Dash: come & 👀 me then Dash: it'll be unreal again Lux: you want me to watch you from the nearest 🍎🍏🌳? Dash: or 🌌 til the 7th day of the 7th month if you still vibe with that story Lux: That's an interesting way to inquire about my faith Lux: you'd make an excellent youth pastor Lux: 🤭 Dash: you've heard me play 🎸 Lux: and your cool lingo Lux: yep, it is indeed your calling Lux: we'll start your bible study as soon as the 🌍 is ready Dash: sounds like a drag Dash: how are we gonna make it fun? Lux: 🍪🍪🥛 and fellow youths, duh Dash: if you're gonna teach me it needs to be visual Dash: that's my way Lux: really? Lux: well, I'm going to need all my creativity and crafting skills to recreate Noah's Ark Dash: Moses'll be easy, I'll weave a basket for real Dash: he's the one, yeah? 👶 Lux: that's him Lux: have a whole cast of 👶 to choose from Dash: & animals Lux: I'll just try to avoid being like Sarah and 👊 all the mothers in envy Lux: not a good look Dash: I can get you a baby 🐈 if it'll keep the peace Lux: 😄 it'd be a whole other story if that's what Abraham had done Dash: he coulda taken 5 & let me 🛹⚡️ to my nan's place Lux: a man who marries his sister and needs to populate the 🌍 ain't got no time to chill, Dashiel Dash: the more you tell me, the more he fits into my family 🌳 Lux: 🤨 🧐 Lux: you're holy too? Dash: last time we got together you seemed to 💭👀🗨 so Lux: false prophets hold a certain amount of appeal, of course Dash: what was false? Lux: well, it's not for me to say you weren't speaking the word of God, I suppose Lux: but it's also a big no-no to worship false idols, it's in the big 10, so Lux: very tricky, actually Dash: Do you want me to try & make amends or what's left of the other 9? Lux: How many of do you think you've broken today? Dash: tell me what they are Lux Thou shalt have no other gods before me Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy Honour thy father and thy mother Thou shalt not murder Thou shalt not commit adultery Thou shalt not steal Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour Thou shalt not covet Lux: score out of 10 please Dash: what's a graven image? Lux: that's the idol part Dash: right on, I don't have time to like carve a statue of you & worship it but the intent is there Dash: no adultery or murder either, but the rest Lux: well Lux: consider me appalled not shocked 😳 Dash: what's your score? Lux: 3, I think Dash: you covet the fruit for a pie & Lux: Yes 😘 Lux: and I am not honouring my father or mother and I've put myself before god so Lux: I think those are the only ones, though arguably referring to myself like that is taking it in vain but I wasn't the first one to say it Dash: that's the shit you should ask around about 🗳📋 /10 Lux: maybe I'll do weekly questionnaires Lux: no one else is as mad as you were to be compared to Mark Antony but A LOT of people think we're all ❄️ Dash: beauty enough for ❄ & false idols Lux: Sculpture isn't my forte but I'll do my best Lux: you'll have to stand still long enough for me to 👀 Dash: I don't think I can Dash: we're poetry in motion, I know you felt it Lux: I'm not in the business of denying what I feel Dash: you haven't grown a totally different head since I last 👀 you Lux: now that WOULD be impressive Lux: stuck with this one only Dash: stuck makes it sound like that's a bummer Dash: looking how you do could NEVER be a drag Lux: you've not lost your charm either Dash: every compliment I've given you before, I would give you today Lux: damn timing Dash: Meet me under the 🌙? Lux: I shan't turn into a 🎃 Dash: I won't turn into a 🐀 Lux: then I don't see why not Dash: Then I'll be waiting for you Lux: Patiently? Dash: you already know that's not one of my virtues Lux: 😇 takes a lot of hard work Dash: you're the 👼 Lux: I do like hearing it Dash: I'll write you another song Lux: you keep writing songs for everyone, no wonder you've got no time Dash: school's that much of a hassle, it's that or crash 💤 Lux: what don't you like about it? Dash: I don't like anything about it Dash: nothing radical ever happens Dash: & there's way more commandments than 10 Dash: I could be spending my time here on the farm, helping things run smooth Lux: Hmm Lux: Interesting Dash: I read, I know shit Dash: I can write and do maths Dash: understand people Lux: and you feel like that's all school has to offer you? Dash: I don't see why I have to do x or y number of years more in an institution Dash: there's nothing I can get there that I can't get in the 🌍 Lux: I'll add it to my survey ideas Dash: 🤯💭 Lux: 🐝🧠 or 🎨🧠 Lux: only time will tell Dash: I'm hip to it being about getting out of just being around the same 🐈 & 🐤 Dash: meeting people with different vibes who you probably won't dig Dash: but I've got my bro for that Lux: the footballer Lux: I remember Dash: my dad & his piece too, they're drags in the same way Lux: what do you bond with your dad over? Dash: I don't Lux: is it like school and you're not bothered though Lux: or is it a shame Dash: Do I 🌠 he 👀 me? Used to Dash: not a rush I need to chase now Lux: I get it Dash: He's got the ⚽🏆 son he wants & I've got a family here Lux: it's not a good enough replacement though, is it Lux: no matter how nice people are here, or wherever I end up next and after that Lux: I'm never going to hear the people I grew up with, who loved and raised me, call me by the right name Lux: or daughter, or sister Dash: You're not gonna stay? Lux: this place was made for moving out, right? Lux: it's transient Dash: they can love you, raise you, you don't have to split Lux: I've been raised but Lux: I get what you're saying Lux: when I put roots down again Lux: it needs to be for keeps Dash: this can be for keeps Dash: it is for me Lux: we had some travellers at my daddy's church for a while Lux: 'til they got moved on Lux: places like this Lux: it's never forever Dash: What's forever? Not my parents marriage or my dad's football career Dash: if we have to go we go together, all of us Dash: new buildings maybe but the same family Lux: I'm glad that you have that Dash: you can Dash: you're welcome & wanted Dash: nobody here is related to me by blood but we're still connected Lux: I know, everyone has been very welcoming Lux: on the whole Dash: you can get comfortable, this place has been here years Lux: alright Lux: anyway, didn't Cleopatra show yet? Dash: She'll be waiting for a mirror Lux: huh? Dash: she's not cool with coming to me before checking what she looks like Dash: as if I've never 👀 her Lux: doesn't it feel Lux: Abraham and Sarah vibes Dash: what do you mean? Lux: incestuous Lux: because you say they're your family Lux: but you sleep with them Dash: she won't stay Dash: a tourist Lux: and you only sleep with the ones that won't stay Dash: they sleep with me, it's part of the tour Dash: you remember Lux: Cool speech there then Dash: I don't always get it right, like Dash: I thought that was your vibe, it's not Lux: no, you were exactly right Dash: Lux, come on Lux: it's family to you Lux: you don't care about the endless stream of fucked up girls who can cross here off their nowhere left to go list Lux: what they might be searching for Lux: never mind you actually have a home, somewhere you could be Lux: I was beyond wrong about you Dash: Don't fucking frame it like that Lux: 'cos you did a brilliant job with your narrative Lux: part of the tour, give me a fucking break Lux: you know, you aren't superior because you choose to be here, it's the opposite Lux: what kind of person lords that over people who have no choice, nowhere else they can be Lux: what the fuck Dash: that's not what I'm doing, chill out Lux: just don't Lux: you have no justification, you have no reason Lux: and clearly whatever you are doing here is going unchecked so whatever Lux: I'll be gone soon, but just know, I fucking see you Dash: I told you before we started, you set the pace, everything we did we both wanted to do Dash: nothing I do needs to be checked Lux: so you're that guy Lux: it isn't only bad if it's some serial killer down an alley and the girl is screaming and crying no Dash: You're making this way heavier than it is Lux: You don't get to tell me what I'm making it Dash: I don't get why you're twisting everything Lux: I haven't twisted anything Dash: we had fun, you said you liked me Lux: this isn't a straight issue of consent Lux: it's the fact that I know you knew I was vulnerable, I told you things, why I was here Lux: and you think it's acceptable to fuck people who are in that position, and you can't deny it because you literally did it to me, because, you know, they won't be here long Lux: and to have the nerve to advertise this place, these people, yourself, as a fucking safe space Lux: family Lux: that is insanely fucked up, I don't know how no one has ever told you that Dash: you can back off this witch hunt, yeah? Dash: you're not the same as Sapphire or Amber or Lotus or whoever Dash: they don't tell me things, it's not the fucking same Lux: Well I'm definitely sorry I did Dash: that's all been shallow, this got deep, you know Lux: I don't think I know anything about you Lux: not really Dash: You're just flipping out, I flipped you out Dash: but I didn't mean to & you don't mean that Lux: I just need to not be here right now Dash: Lux Lux: It's fine Lux: I mean, it's not Lux: but I'm leaving the main house to go for a walk, so just don't let me see you, okay Dash: You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? Lux: excuse me? Dash: all that shit you said about how it's not a safe space Lux: who the hell do I have to tell? Lux: and that's the worst part Dash: There's loads of people you could, but it's not true Lux: for a second there, you almost sounded like you gave a shit Lux: places like this will always exist, I'm not under any illusion I can stamp them all out Dash: I do! Dash: maybe I fucked up but that's not the farm's fault Lux: I'm not going to the cops, I have nothing to tell Dash: my head didn't go there, there's loads of good people here, doing beautiful things Dash: if I'm not one of them, that'll be my karma Dash: you don't have to leave Lux: I'm not Lux: that's your karma Lux: someone needs to stick around so there's some sense of consequence for your actions Dash: you don't have to go full avenging 👼 on me Dash: I won't be going heavy on you Lux: It's not a joke, Dash Dash: I'm not 🤡ing Dash: nothing uncool needs to happen between us, I'll give you space or whatever Lux: You're afraid Lux: aren't you Lux: that if I tell what you're like, girls like Cleopatra won't go near you anymore Lux: Jesus Christ Dash: I don't need to be afraid of that, I told you, we're all having fun Dash: there's no big soap opera vibe Lux: Fuck off now Dash: Ask Amber, she was mad at me before you but not like that, you've got this wrong Lux: I haven't got anything wrong Lux: this is what you did, to me, that's the end of Lux: you can tell yourself what you like about the rest, that's no concern of mine Dash: Nah, we talked about it, how I've done shit before that's 💔 & you said you didn't care Dash: that I couldn't hurt you Dash: & that you could tell I wasn't a bad person Dash: Why are you just taking it all back like none of that fucking happened? Lux: Why did you prove me wrong in such spectacular fashion? Lux: there's a reason you prefer keeping things shallow, and this is it Lux: if the answer isn't a yes or it's cool, you don't want to know, you don't want to be checked Dash: The reason I keep things shallow is they're on a fly by, they don't want to stay & I don't wanna be connected to someone else that'll split on me Lux: you aren't the gatekeeper of this place Lux: and nothing's forever, by your own admission Dash: I am of myself & I do my own fucking checks, yeah? Maybe you don't have a heart left to break by your own admission but I'm protecting the one you don't believe I've got, like Lux: There's no world in which I'm feeling sorry for you right now, okay Lux: you do not vet every girl you fuck for her tragic backstory, cut the crap Dash: Gimme a break, I said talking isn't usually part of it, going both ways, wouldn't be very chill or shallow if it was Lux: Yeah, like I said, you don't care Lux: and that's your lookout Lux: but to give it that faux hippie bullshit about family and welcoming, when you mean only for yourself, fucking sucks Lux: don't bother pretending, just be honest Dash: it happened different with you, that's the honest truth Dash: search me why Lux: right Lux: I wasn't born yesterday Dash: I do care Lux: you should be a better friend Lux: to these people, the ones you care about Dash: yeah Lux: that's all I have to say Dash: I'll cool it too then Lux: I don't think you're evil Lux: but I don't think you're a good person now Dash: I can't change your mind? Lux: Of course you can Dash: by doing what? Lux: by being a good person or a bad Dash: Beats me how that's getting judged when everyone else already thinks I'm being a good person except you & my bro Lux: don't confuse people not caring either way for approval of your actions Dash: you want me to care more for people who don't, nothing confusing about that Lux: I said being good wasn't easy Dash: & responsibility isn't my bag, he takes all that on Lux: there we go then Lux: I'm not expecting anything Dash: like I said, I'm not giving you anything but space Lux: Whatever Lux: Goodbye Dash: I'm sorry we read each other wrong Dash: it hasn't happened before Lux: It's happened plenty before Lux: they leave Lux: your behaviour and attitude is bullshit and I won't be apologising to you Dash: chill, you've made your point Lux: it's not about making it, it's about you understanding Lux: but why the fuck should I care, actually Lux: you're right, way too confusing, way too hard, no point Dash: get out of here then Dash: I don't understand & you don't care Lux: I'm not leaving, remember Lux: and that's the fucking point, you'll have to get used to feeling uncomfortable with it Dash: you can split conversationally, was more the vibe Lux: no, Dash Lux: you don't control the conversation, the narrative, any of it, that's the 'vibe' Lux: if you're feeling some type of way, you should go, take some responsibility for yourself Dash: You're responsible for hassling me now Lux: Then leave Lux: you control you, I control me Lux: I'm not doing what you don't want to do for some notion of being the fucking 'chill' cool one here Dash: I don't understand this, that's why I don't want to Lux: I don't think you want to Lux: it's fun and it's easy to do fucked up things Lux: and if everyone else is doing them, or not calling you out for it, why not Dash: I didn't do a fucked up thing to you Lux: I've said you did Dash: but that's not the way it was Dash: I opened up to you to, I still am Lux: You tell me about the tour and then you tell me I'm different though Lux: How do you expect me to take you at your word when what you've described there is exactly what went down Dash: I showed you around & I've showed some of them around, that doesn't mean everything else that happened was the same Lux: you said it like you thought I'd think it was funny Dash: I don't know why I did that Lux: Be honest Lux: was it just to see how cool I was and how I could hang Lux: or was it because you forgot, and thought I was one of the boys Dash: that couldn't be further from how I see you Lux: okay Lux: that's something then Dash: I meant what I said when I told you you're like a song I can't get out of my head, how I wanted to live in all those moments cos of what they felt like Dash: it's only got worse since then Dash: I didn't wanna hurt you, I don't Lux: you didn't hurt me by what you did Lux: at least, not at the time Lux: it's what you said Lux: to have to put bad intentions to those moments, you must get how shitty that is, you at least feel that too Dash: I was trying to show you this is different Lux: my head hurts Dash: Yeah 🌪 Lux: make sure you have some water Dash: that's your magic 🔮✨💖 Lux: I don't think I have any right now Dash: You haven't lost it Lux: I just need to replenish Dash: Me too Lux: I'll wish you good luck on that then Dash: Later? Lux: Yeah Dash: 🚀🪐💫
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