#totally radiating motivation now

[danydarkly]

Hi! I just wanted to say, thank you so much for making the Red & Wolf comic. I just found it by accident and read through the whole thing in one night, I am seriously loving it so far. I'm autistic and I've always had a strong interest in wolves, specifically Little Red Riding Hood versions of wolves, and always wanted to read a story about the wolf having a sort of redemption or it being more than just "big bad wolf is evil and wants to eat the girl". There's hardly any content for me to dive into in regards of even just the fairytale itself, most stories are very gruesome, the short films online are incredibly dark and uncomfortable since those are the adaptations of the original grimm telling, or all of the red riding hood movies are horror films instead of fairytale adaptations. Or some sort of like... idk love triangle thing where it's all modernized or something for televesion where Red is wearing jeans and the Wolf isn't even a real wolf? But yours... this is like finding gold. I was hooked immediately and I couldn't stop reading.

Your story of Scarlett and Leikos... it's just so gorgeous, your art work has such clean lines and the way you draw eyes and hands especially is so beautiful. The design for Leikos' hair is my favorite!! And the panel you made where Scarlett is lying down on the grass/tree stump and she's blushing while Leikos is talking with her, oh my gosh, that's my favorite panel out of every chapter so far. Just... the vulnerability of these two growing closer, like... augh clutching my heart when Leikos is like "no don't cross the path you're gonna get hurt :(" and she's like "but I want to dance with you :)" like!!! she trusts him and he refuses to hurt her even when instincts kick in!! HIS BACKSTORY? BRO? I'M IN SHAMBLES?? Ugh your art is so GOOD and this STORY is so GOOD and I am just so thankful to be able to dive into a Wolf/Red story that has action, romance, suspense, all the good stuff. It's so perfect.

Thank you for working so so hard to make this comic. I'm an artist as well and I could never have the patience to upload one comic page, let alone several. Laying out panels is difficult and time consuming and not to mention you're shading and coloring the entire thing. Your poses are always fluid, never stiff, you have good perspective and composition, most ppl who make comics can easily just draw one single pose and one facial expression for 20 panels, but you've always had the expressions and body language shift and change and the camera view as well... and you gotta draw all those damn trees omfg. The flower meadow in the first chapter must have taken forever to draw too! Your hard work really shows in your art and I am so happy to have stumbled upon your comic. If you make any more merch for Red & Wolf on your Etsy, whether it's prints or charms or stickers or really anything, I would be more than willing to throw some money your way. Or if you open commissions as well someday, ahh, I love your stuff so much I would totally pay you to doodle Leikos hehe. Please have a wonderful day and take care! <3

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa

What a lovely message! Thank you so much, Anon! I really needed to read this today <3 I'm truly at a loss for words, like you basically complimented me on everything I'm mad-insecure about?? It's really nice, like maybe I really am too hard on myself?? Whenever I look back on my old panels (which I've been doing a lot lately since reformatting Red & Wolf for print), I always feel like I put way too much effort and kind of only see what I did wrong, but if you and others recognize the effort and like what I did - then maybe it wasn't a waste of time after all. That makes me feel way better about it, thank you :' ) Also, your favorite panel is one of my favorite panels too, where I felt "dang, I kind of nailed it here" - which is SUPER rare for me, haha. I should read this lovely message whenever the impostor syndrome kicks in, it really lifted my spirits <3

[hypertechnica]

i’m going to make fiddauthor art with fidds wearing his wedding ring and you are NOT going to like it

big obligatory banner that says “cheating is bad don’t do it i just like stories with relationship drama”

closeted, internally homophobic gay men who are married with kids has to be the trope i’m weakest to. no person involved is escaping the despair brought on by a relationship built on a well intentioned, desperate lie, born out of a desire to be normal and good

he WANTED to love her so fucking badly. he felt no ill will towards her and he loves their son more than words can say. he thought the attraction, the way she felt about him, would come with time. it didn’t. he doesn’t want to hurt her yet was doomed to from the start, and he’s truly, truly sorry. this does not absolve him of anything whatsoever and she has the full right to never want to speak with him again. he lied! he pretended to feel the same when he never once felt anything but platonic affection! he’s been in love with someone else this whole fucking time! and their kid… he’s caught in the middle of it all, too young to understand why his father would hurt his family like this.

and then he disappears and never comes back. imagine you’re 5 and your dad goes to the middle of the woods with his buddy for science shit, all of the sudden your parents are yelling on the phone and signing papers, and then he goes MIA. for years.

imagine your husbands “buddy” was the one he was thinking of all this time, not you, never you. and the first chance he gets to run away from you, he takes, and you should have been suspicious by the rushed frenzy of it all, the phone calls getting shorter and shorter until it fizzles to nothing. he forgot to get you a christmas gift. he hand-made him two. there has to be something wrong with you, it has to be your fault. you wish you married the man he becomes when he’s in his presence.

he folded when you started questioning him directly - he’d been to neurotic to ever be a good liar. you thought he was the one. he thought you were nice.

by the time the divorce is finalized he’s different in a wrong way. confused, angry, forgetful, insane - if the giant homicidal robot pterodactyl you’ve been harassed by is any indication. (he’s had a bad habit of building homicidal robots when he’s mad since they met -engineer things- but it was never directed at her - thankfully it never actually does anything) he’s clearly abusing drugs - you’d feel bad if he hadn’t abandoned you with the burden of explaining why your son can’t see his father anymore.

it’s a rotten bit of your soul, but time heals you. you move on and no longer think of him. trust in your career. find a man who truly loves you with no motives attached. raise your kid to be a good man. and in a fashion not unlike shakespearean dramatic irony, this makes him move to gravity falls to find and take care of his father. you couldn’t care less what hee doing now, but damn it, it’s his father, what is the kid supposed to do? but its futile- he appears to have no remorse, hell, no memory of the incident in the first place. (this isn’t his fault but how are they supposed to know that?) so he grows bitter and cold just like his mother used to be.

imagine that.

all over a mans inability to do anything but live in denial. to force himself to live in a box and pine like a dying man over the right one at the wrong time, destined to crash and burn. to take denial to a new level- a cult, brain damaging radiation, a total ego death - just to take the edge off. take off that damn wedding ring

[kithtaehyung]

minted: part two (snippet) (m) | myg

snippet: minted: part two (m) pairing: street king!yoongi x street vendor!reader rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , action ; haegeum au , gang au series: masterlist | part one summary: after a whirlwind of a detour, you have second and third thoughts about the guy you saved. who even is this man? and what the hell is in that bag? note: holy shit, y’all. thank you so much for the love on this series already! it’s been a minute since we started a new series here, so nerves were firing on all cylinders. but you all showed out and gave me enormous relief and motivation to keep going, so thank you! enjoy this snippet since i missed the initial part two drop! note 2: this series is for @sailoryooons, @joonary, and @minttangerines! love you all! warnings: language, violence, weapons (guns/knives/chopsticks/etc.), blood/wounds mentions, drugs, alcohol, trauma, poor reader :(((, mint!yoongi, haegeum!yoongi, tatted!yoongi, his eyebrow is pierced, yoongi visuals in this one areeee…, tension, tense situations, crass af yoongi lol, reader is also a baddie but who is shocked, slow burnnnn est. drop date: september 16th, 2024 snippet word count: 1.5k est. total word count: 9k >:))

—

—

There’s something to be said about the human gut. 

Not because it’s the source of multiple health aspects, or the way it’s connected to the brain. 

But, other than when violence tears it to shreds, it can be quite the defense mechanism. Just like yours churns and churns with each mechanical click of the elevator shaft.

Who is this person next to you? 

Who exactly did you decide to follow upstairs hours ago, killing your daily life to save and join on the run? 

You don’t know if you released your hand or if Yoongi let it fall, but you take this unlinking to create space. As you slide your gaze toward your companion, he merely shifts his weight and finds interest in increasing, beeping numbers.

How can someone’s profile be so troublingly handsome? You’d be able to think more clearly if he wasn’t both attractive and dangerous. Or if you simply weren’t on the verge of collapse.

Frankly, if you didn’t just murder a man you’d pass out as soon as you took too long to blink. 

To keep yourself alert—and to hopefully gather some much needed intel—you suddenly question aloud, “Where are we?”

No answer.

Alright.

“That driver called you Agust,” you recap on a second go. “What was that about?”

All Yoongi does is stare at his reflection in opulent, dim mirrored walls. Or whatever else he’s doing besides talking. 

Okay. Well.

You can face forward, too. 

“Those guys after us,” you try a third time, because who are you to give up now even if he radiates annoyance. “They didn’t look like Crane.”

“Doesn’t mean they weren’t.”

Your neck almost snaps when you turn. “Are you kidding me?”

As you watch Yoongi scorn the ceiling again, you can’t believe he doesn’t agree. 

Mm. Does he?

From the flex of his jaw, you have to assume you’re right to some degree. Because it looks like he’s very, very bothered by the people that chased you down. 

If those weren’t any of the high-powers but had equal resources and numbers…

What the hell were they? Where did they even come from?

Geez, it’s freezing. Is a drop in temperature the best barrier to you making sense of things? You can’t even appreciate the way Yoongi’s veins protrude with every adjustment he makes to that mysterious duffle bag.

Lies. You absolutely can. But there’s no way in hell you’re ever complimenting that. Or anything about him anymore because he clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you! 

Why did he even hold your hand? Was that just a ploy, too? 

But that taxi drive…

Yoongi looks down before lightly scuffing his shoe, and both of you fall silent as you finally give up with a huff. 

Massively dehydrated. Sore. Still covered in a myriad of unmentionables and now being ignored by the guy you saved. 

All you wanna do is go home, and you don’t even know where that is. 

How far did you travel? What district is this? You’ve never heard of a grey zone, but they seem fairly peaceful even at night. Neutral enough for you to consider relocating even if it meant sleeping on the street.

That brings up another question. “If we’re in a grey zone, how did you know—”

A ding interrupts your last thought, and you look to see where you ended up.

But the elevator doesn’t say a number. Only letters? What kinda floor did you stop on? 

One thing’s for sure, though. Whatever room you end up getting, if there’s only one bed you’re hogging it or taking the…

Floor…

There are many things that have shocked you in your lifetime. Many things just from today that had your head positively and forever reeling. 

But when the elevator doors slide open, you can’t even fathom what the fuck you’re dealing with. 

And in this second, more than ever, you understand how ludicrously out of your element you really are. 

“Holy shit,” you blurt, barely hearing the huff at your side.

Don’t elevators usually open up to hallways? Why are you walking into an entire living space? Is this a real place people choose to sleep in for a night? A whole floor?

Forget a whole floor, it’s a whole other place.

You slowly survey everything, wondering how much this has to be because you have never seen a living space so big. Or pretty. Or anything like this.

The ceilings vault and the furniture looks nothing like you’ve ever seen. Everything looks pristine. Clean. Is that a whole kitchen?

How are there living arrangements this big? This one place is bigger than your entire apartment level back home. 

And here you are: speechless, virtually homeless, and dragging your filth onto white marble floors. 

Perfect.

“What.” 

You turn at the scrape of Yoongi’s voice, wondering why now is when he finally chooses to acknowledge you. Head pounding, you ask outright, “Who… Who even are you? What is this place?”

He levels your stare before walking towards a long couch, dumping the duffle and raking his hair back in minted waves. “There’s a shower in every bedroom. Take your pick.” 

…Is that really his only response?

“That’s not what I asked,” you fire back, wondering what the hell his problem is so you can add more out of spite.

“But it’s what you need.”

“Say what now?” 

The fucking nerve? Even though you obviously, desperately need one, hearing him mention it makes you wanna re-use the chopsticks in your pocket. 

But Yoongi simply waves you off, grabbing a remote and flicking on a television so wide you would struggle to reach both ends. 

This is all too much. 

“You know what I need? To go home,” you huff out, leaving fire in your determined trek to the elevator. “Have a nice life, Yoongi. Or Agust. Whoever the fuck you are.” 

You get to the door and run into a dirt-slicked forearm, and the voice you hear courses through your ears, “The fuck are you doing?”

“Shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.”

“You serious?”

“Yes, I am. So move.”

Yoongi pauses, jaw working overtime before he steps aside wait he’s gonna let you go that easily? 

…Oh.

That was certainly not what you expected, but what else would you even think? This isn’t one of those stories that ends perfectly after trials and tribulations. Yoongi has proven more than once—in mere hours—that he’s no regular civilian. Nor man, for that matter.

But despite that, you blink before freezing at a terrible realization. 

No matter how you slice it, you’re much better off with him than you are by yourself right now. Even if he is a secretive criminal with a smoking gun. 

He did keep you alive that whole chase.

But there’s the smallest, tiniest chance that you aren’t quite safe with Yoongi, either. You don’t even know who he is anymore—maybe you never did.

So in a quick decision, you skim his side to slap the elevator button, chucking daggers at his brows until he leaves you to wait alone.

Good. You don’t need this. You can find your way back to your city block somehow and live the life you’ve chosen to lead again. 

Yes. You can do all of that by yourself. The chase is done. 

And so is your story with the man that will never buy your tangerines again. 

Grabbing your sleeve, a second fact stings your fingers. A jacket woven in Dragon teal. 

Shit. You need to ditch this, too. Either right now, or before you get the hell out of this grey zone because if you don’t, this is the biggest target you could ever have on your back. 

No good. No good no good you didn’t plan any of this well at all. Fucking pride blinding you to everything else logical. Is this how your story ends? Because of regret and resistance? 

You wait for the sliding doors, about to leave the biggest room you’ll ever see to occupy a box. How poetic. 

Your heart pounds as you close your eyes. Yoongi just cut you loose; it’s obvious he doesn’t care so why should you? No going back now. You’ll figure it out. The doors are finally opening. 

And someone’s inside?

Wait.

Your brain both whirrs and skids to a halt at the sight of the staff member occupying the elevator. When they give you a look, you find your hand drifting towards your back pocket.

Fucking hell, relax. You should be safe with a hotel employee, right? They wouldn’t be out to kill you. This is just your adrenaline on its haunches. 

However, one foot in the elevator and your senses go haywire. 

Because you can’t do this alone. You aren’t nearly as prepared to brave this foreign space as you need to be. With red in your hands and Dragon on your back? Absolutely not. 

You bow to the hotel staff before you face forward into the expanse. 

And as the doors start to close, you see Yoongi’s stare over his shoulder, storming with emotions and words you can’t name.

Yeah.

You fucked up.

Fuck.

-

-

tbc. :))

-

are we ready for the drop?! | join the taglist!

a/n: this is just the beginning!! who knowwwws what's gonna happen during the rest of the 9k+ lsdkfjdskl thank you all so much for hanging in there for me as i navigate multiple hobbies and endeavors. it means a lot to see your words of encouragement! always appreciated, and i hope you look forward to the real drop hehehe. more links: masterlist

[mini-ism]

#— MODULATE.

⭑ pairings: billy kid x afab!gn!reader [MDNI]

⭑ words: 1,722

⭑ synopsis: billy can’t help but beg you to try out his fancy new arousal module.

⭑ warnings: loss of virginity/first time, grinding/dry humping, p in v, slight praise kink, unprotected intercourse, overstimulation (billy), afab reader (gender neutral, no pronouns/feminine terms) 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

⭑ notes: crossposted to AO3, lighter is still bae

“and where did you find this?” you quirked an eyebrow, your curious gaze holding billy’s. you couldn’t help but wonder what motivated the android to obtain… whatever that was.

he excitedly squealed. “it’s only a top of the line module, and you wouldn’t ever believe me if i told you the truth — that i found it a hollow! perfectly intact, too!” billy’s tinny voice drawled on, “these are totally rare, only few can get their hands on ‘em! so, please, you gotta let me try it out! come on, just once! it’ll be fun!”

you sighed affectionately, letting billy interpret your lack of a rebuttal as a meager ‘sure, why not?’

as billy slipped off his signature red jacket, he guided you to the module slot carefully disguised on his back. it rested right below the metallic shoulder, where the scapula would be on a human. “press it, it’ll open easy. though it might jump out at ya.”

he had warned you, but as you pressed it, it immediately sprung open, perhaps somewhat violently. you took note of a few occupied slots, the standard emotional module, with a few other cartridge-looking modules taking up some of the slots. you slid in the next one, silently hoping you did it right, the action reminiscent of putting in a SIM card.

“did you get it?” you closed the metal plate, positioning it along his back normally. “yeah, i think so.” he replied in an inquisitive tone.

billy straightened his back, his yellow optical sensors providing an expression his face plate couldn’t. his eyes widened, then he blinked, a confused look donning his expressive feature, “huh, i don’t feel anything yet. but it is definitely in!”

you nodded. “surely you're not mistaken? you said that was an arousal module?”

he affirmed it was, taking note of your puzzled face. were you always that cute? you were, but it feels a bit different now with that cartridge-thing in his back.

“it takes specific actions and things to get someone arou—”

“i know that!” billy rudely interrupted, maybe a bit flustered, “you don’t gotta explain all that to me! just don’t know how it feels is all.”

you could hear him trail off embarrassingly, his eyes downturned, avoiding your gaze. you really are a cutie, he just can’t handle your scrutiny is all!

it was awkward for a few moments before you cut through the tense atmosphere with your… delicate and charming… kind voice…

“so, uh, do you still want to try it out?” your eyes landed on the unworn red jacket, previously in your peripheral.

“…yeah, i do.” his robotic, boyish voice was quieter than usual, but sincerity lied in his words.

you might drive him mad already, though that emotion was terribly unfamiliar. especially with how much closer you kept getting. even through the cold, hard metal of his body, he could feel the warmth radiating from your skin. the sensation was akin to a short-circuit.

“ah… you’re warm.” he chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist. your hands moved to circle around his neck, planting a soft kiss to it. he let out an unrestrained noise, the foreign feeling getting him worked up. he could feel his body growing strangely hotter, too.

your barrage of touches and kisses eventually pushed him back onto your bed, even the soft sheets sent a thrill through him. it was overwhelming, in a way, all these typical things heightened every other sense of his, like an erotic yet sadistic cycle of pleasurable torment. it was as if billy’s body were not even his own to control anymore, seriously, why is he whining like this?

“oh, i—” his voice was strangled and squeaky, letting out all sorts of overstimulated noises, all of the familiar parts of life suddenly a different type of exciting, “you’re so… ugh—”

what the fuck was that?

his hips, they just bucked up, why did they do that? why did that friction feel the way it did as you straddled him closer? it felt good, all that warmth, especially between your legs… how lewd.

“that’s it, billy.” your voice, it was enchanting, lulling him into an erotic trance. a gentle guide towards a pleasure only many androids and robots could ever wish to experience. he made another weak, squeaky noise in response, his flexible hands moving to cup your ass. as you littered his neck and face with more kisses, your hands roamed over the smooth, rigid metal of his body. you could feel the heat radiating from the core of his chest.

“feels nice. really nice, ah,” billy’s hips involuntarily jolted upward. sure, billy structure was made to replicate a human’s body, but even that part of him worked? jarring, to him at least. it was terribly sensitive too, more so than any other part of his carefully made body. his hands rode up your sides, hiking up your shirt selfishly. his hands came up to squeeze your breasts a few times, savoring the feeling of the soft, heated flesh in his mechanical palms. with a mindless yank, your shirt came off, your skin prickling as it made contact with the chilled air. your nipples were no exception, hardening into pert buds within seconds. billy pinched them a few times, taking the sight in perversely. he let out a sudden gasp.

“just like that, oh, f-fuck…” billy’s voice faltered as you rocked your body his along his clothed erection. seems this module did more than one thing. your hands snaked back around his neck, your grinding growing more desperate with every movement, billy’s grip on your ass tightening. you leaned in close, the friction against your needy clit a wonderful relief, but so painfully temporary. just a little more and you could…

“billy, i wanna take you.” you abruptly stopped, breathing hotly against his cold neck, your cheek pressed against it. he silently lifted your hips and ass up, quickly working the belt undone and unzipping his pants. something sprang out, but it wasn’t painful or cold at all. it was just as unfamiliar to him as it was you.

“so do you just…?” he asked sheepishly.

“yeah,” you murmured back, letting one arm pull down your pants, shimmying them off with a bit if concentrated effort. your panties were through one leg as your stayed straddled on billy, his larger frame leaned against the wall your bed was positioned on. you gave billy a shy, heated look, your breathing labored as you went in for another kiss on his cheek, your arms meeting again behind his neck.

that crazy overwhelming feeling has only worsened, even as he desperately tried to shrug it off. he could feel his cock vigorously twitch with each latent thought running through him. he placed his hands gently onto your hips, guiding your entrance towards his tip, his eyes narrowing as he cast a side-long glance of reassurance to you. his maneuvering was gentle and soft, taking one hand to line himself up with you. billy’s tone was akin to his delicate handling of your body, “go on, when you’re ready, ‘kay?”

you whispered a small “okay,” sinking yourself down onto him. you whined, billy’s two-handed grip firm, yet tender and assuring. “you got it.”

the stretch was no longer excruciating, dissolving into a delicious mixture of ecstasy and masochistic agony. as you sullied yourself down further onto him, you held him tighter, closer, with another needy mewl. this was just as intense for him. the feeling of being entirely enveloped by heat was exhilarating, yet it threatened to consume him whole if he wasn't careful. billy groaned, keeping himself in check for as long as he could. you reached the hilt of his cock, his shaft buried in you deep, the potent sensation intoxicating.

“there we go.” he patted your side, gingerly pulling you upwards, only the needy head of his cock remaining. you whimpered at the loss of him, billy promptly shushing you as he lowered you down again. your eyes screwed shut with a loud moan, feeling his cock split you open again, the action dizzying and feverish. promptly, he pulled you upwards again, your body finally willing to cooperate with his, before letting you down again. with each movement up and down, the thrust into you grew more ardent and urgent. billy’s timid demeanor waned into a heady need for pleasure, your cunt finally accepting his size with minimal give.

“oh, god, you’re tight!” billy threw his head back slightly with a grunt, he dare not shut his eyes for too long. the sight of you finally bounding on him was something to be admired. the way your body grew more desperate with each fuck into you, your shallow and loud breathing, he needed to see all of it. your hips had a mind of their own, taking him with vigor as you took him. with each loud gasp followed a “billy!” or a particularly needy “ah!” no part of him wanted to ever let go of your body.

his thinking and processing became particularly slow, succumbing to primal need, letting you fuck yourself silly on him. billy loved the way you pulled him even closer, the way you would moan on his dick, it was getting to be… a bit much…

he struggled to keep his eyes open, squinted with deep pleasure as he watched you frantically bounce up and down, his hands still resting on your waist. “billy! i’m gonna— oh, fuck!”

that didn’t quite register, in more ways than one. even with a lack of understanding, he found himself reciprocating the intensity, thrusting up into you with a rough and fast tempo. “yeah, do it f’me, just like that.”

your grip around him tightened, legs shaking in overused agony, muscles trembling with need as release washed over you. billy was quick to follow. the burning need came to a head, your hips weakly stuttering on him. his senses were definitely overloaded, the perceived feeling like having his CPU absolutely fried, even so, he could manage decently well. maybe his parts weren’t all cooked up. yeah, definitely a different feeling. a good one, too.

“fuck, billy…” you whined, pussy gushing the last remnants of your orgasm around him, billy’s large arms coming to wrap entirely around your waist again.

“didn’t you just do that?”

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Chiori and Yae with a reader that tries to slack off all the time

characters: Chiori / Yae Miko x gn!reader (separate)

a/n: Chiori is such an asshole and I absolutely adore her. She’s like if they gave Stannis Baratheon hair and a second sword.

(I wrote this like... 2 months ago and finally finished it. A total henry move to write 90% of smth and then let it rot in my WIP folder for months, if you ask me.)

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Chiori

While the two of you matched when it came to radiating calm energy, the way they came out in quite contrasting ways. Where the Seamstress worked hard at following her passions, you were easygoing, where she was direct and brutally honest, you were charming and always said what the other party wanted to hear. Where she was Chiori, you were you.

So when you once again found yourself in her Boutique, chatting away with customers and somehow managing to make them spend more than they had planned, only to up and vanish from one moment to the next, Chiori couldn’t help but feel like she had an inkling of an idea to as were she would find you.

“What are you doing here?”, Chiori’s voice suddenly rang out, waking you from your slumber as you slowly looked up at her, your eyes still half closed and yet still managing to make out the vexed look on her face.

“I was taking a small break. Do you need me for something, Chiori?” you asked in a completely innocent tone, an unwavering smile plastered on your face as she stared you down before signaling to the once locked door.

“And where did you get the keys for the room?”

“They were in the door, so I let myself in. Oh- Was I not supposed to go here?” You realized with widened eyes, glancing between her and the door before shooting her an apologetic smile.

“Yeah no, don’t do that again. The next time you want to take a nap, do it at home”, came her response almost immediately.

Putting the whole “sneaking off and going into a locked room to take a nap away from people” situation aside, what annoyed Chiori even more was how impossible to read you were. If she was sure you were lying to her, she’d have thrown you out long ago. Were you really clueless enough to let yourself into a room or were you simply playing dumb? 

“Ugh. If you want to stand around and do nothing, come with me. I’m in need of a model right now.”

Yae Miko

While you were certainly far from being as lethargic as a certain ninja-girl loitering around the shrine every so often, you had your moments of supreme languidness. And while there were times she felt the urge to help you out by giving you a bit of motivation to get your day started, more often than not, Yae found herself amused by the lengths you took to go unnoticed by your superiors.

“Oh my, you look exhausted. You must have been working hard to get all of this paperwork finished. I do hope I’m not being a nuisance right now”, Yae observed as she entered the room, her voice both soft in nature while masking her mischievous intentions, letting herself into your office only to see you half-slumped over your desk with finished paperwork surrounding you.

That being said, Yae had no doubt it didn’t take you as long as your dramatic rendition of an exhausted warrior would suggest, considering the clever ways you found to make your work easier. So often had you inadvertently impressed her with your way of working that she wouldn’t put it past you to reinvent the wheel if it could shave off a few seconds from your work.

“No, I just now finished my work”, you were quick to soothe her worries, and yet by the way you rubbed your eyes awake, the Kitsune couldn’t help but doubt your words.

As expected, you had learned from your mistakes. The last time you were caught finishing early, you got a few sentences of praise and an extra load of work, the way your self-satisfied smile turned into one barely holding on as you tried to mask whatever emotions washed over you on the inside, being exactly the kind of subtle reactions she loved to watch people go through.

“You should know that you are truly a commendable employee. So, to reward you for your hard work, I should give you a promotion”, Yae spoke before shooting you a small smile as if to praise you, and yet by the time her words registered in your brain, your mouth was left hanging wide open.

“Thank you, but that’s really not necessary. I can think of a dozen people more suited than me-”

“You’re selling yourself short. I’m confident you’re more than qualified for the position”, Yae quickly cut you off, her expression unchanging as she slowly turned around. “Or… Is it that you do not want more work?” She added as her smile grew wider, barely hiding her enjoyment anymore.

“No… thank you”, you responded with a meek sigh, realizing the futility of fighting it.

Once you’d take a closer look at your new privileges and responsibilities, you’d surely realize that she made sure most of your new workload wouldn’t take nearly as long as your current one if handled in an intelligent manner, and yet, when she saw your current reaction, a part of her found herself hoping you wouldn’t realize anytime soon.

By the time Yae reached the door however, she found herself halting in her tracks, quietly humming to herself as she seemed to think about something before finally turning to face you once again.

“I do suppose you did work well today. Take the rest of the day off.”

[typellblog]

Illyasviel von Einzbern: The Hole at the Center of Fate/Stay Night

Emiya Shirou is the beating heart of Fate/Stay Night. Every character radiates outwards from Shirou, shapes and is shaped by him. He fights against foils like Archer and Kirei while growing alongside the three main heroines in each route.

There's really only one character who precedes Shirou in influence, who shapes him near-completely but cannot himself be shaped.

Emiya Kiritsugu is already dead, after all.

It's his legacy that drives the novel - but something oft-undiscussed is that Shirou only has half of it. He inherits his father’s justice, and the one that inherits his ruthlessness is Illya. Thus, Illya’s relationship to Shirou is dictated from the start.

She is everything his father left behind, the first gatekeeper of the moonlit world of death and magecraft that Shirou now finds himself in. In this role she transcends routes, appearing at the end of the third day to deliver a near-lethal attack just as the story branches off.

She seems intent to deliver Kiritsugu’s baggage to Shirou, to make him reckon with the past that he himself never experienced; the truth that a hero can only help those he sides with while many others are left alone in the cold.

In this way her very existence is a far more fundamental challenge to Shirou’s ideals than that of any other character - and yet this challenge is met only indirectly. Much of the information regarding her true identity and relationship to Shirou is elided until the end of HF.

She functions similarly to Sakura, a character who totally changes the reader’s perception of the first two routes in retrospect. The reveals about Illya force us to reevaluate how positive her ending in the Fate route really is.

In the narrative of Heaven’s Feel, both Illya and Sakura are considered ‘doomed’ - able to be saved only by Shirou sacrificing his own life to Archer’s arm.

It’s the crux of their characterisation, in the same way that Saber’s pursuit of the Holy Grail leads her into timeless and uncountable doomed battles. In a route based around that character, you would expect fixing it to be the main thrust of the plot.

And so just as the Fate route is focused on Shirou clashing with Saber over her lack of regard for her safety, and Heaven’s Feel is focused on accepting even the ‘impure’ parts of Sakura, there is no route focused on showing Illya that she needn't give up on having a normal life.

Instead all of her scenes in Heaven’s Feel are about accepting that she cannot have one.

This is the hole in the center of FSN that I’m talking about. Its absence is felt keenly throughout the novel, because Illya has another role besides a specter of Shirou's past. She embodies the prize and object of the Holy Grail War itself - the very same wish-granting device.

Many of the characters in this story are not fighting for the Grail specifically, but nonetheless their strong personalities and desires cause them to clash with one another, in a process Kirei sees as comparable to everyday life.

Their wishes, both in the form of the dead’s regrets and victor’s will, enter the neutral, empty Grail in order to produce a miracle. The only one not allowed a will of their own is the vessel of the Grail, who, in absorbing these desires, must completely erase their humanity.

Illya is not intended to have a reason to pursue the Grail, nor any life beyond obtaining it. The war is premised on the sacrifice of the Servants, yes, but nonetheless they enter as contestants. Illya, like Justeaze before her, enters the ritual only as a sacrifice.

And yet an outside element is introduced. Illya being part-human, the product of an actual family rather than just a clone allows for her to have personal motivations. She holds on to her resentment of Kiritsugu, despite knowing that it’s pointless, because it’s all she has left.

A parallel can be made to the Grail itself. Supposedly a pure wish-granting device, it becomes corrupted through the influence of Angra Mainyu, one small, perverse wish colouring the whole thing black.

The desired salvation of the Einzberns, their thousand-year project relies on being able to reproduce the miracle, to understand every component part of their attempts in order to draw ever closer to the Third Magic, but Illya is a random factor, born to a human parent.

She’s also their greatest creation since Justeaze. Miracles, after all, exist because they are not understood.

The corruption of the Grail with the darkest desires of the world is just the inevitable result of any wish - the price of becoming a human instead of existing as a machine. Live long enough and anyone would turn into Zouken, higher goals suborned by a base desire to escape pain.

Like Illya the Grail is a failed project, a tool that can only provide salvation of a limited nature & only fulfill its purpose incompletely, proof positive that true perfection does not exist in the world of Fate/Stay Night.

In Illya’s case the bug in her programming comes fundamentally from a desire for family, for someone to be close to her. Despite her dysfunctional initial approaches she’s perfectly capable of living normally alongside Shirou.

The issue, then, is the Grail War itself.

Her two sides, two different origins, come into conflict here, and her role as the Holy Grail consistently wins. Not because she desires it in any real sense, but because she doesn’t believe that she can do anything else.

Consider how the Fate route ends with Saber and Shirou trying to live without regrets, accepting both the negative and positive aspects of the past without dwelling on that which cannot be changed.

Consider how Illya in the Fate route doesn’t say a single thing about her condition, refuses to burden others with that knowledge, accepting the fact of her death and instead choosing to live in the moment.

Consider how the Unlimited Blade Works route is about Shirou trying to live without regrets, accepting that he will not always succeed, that his self-sacrificing nature will hurt him, but nonetheless his pursuit of that goal is worthwhile.

Consider how Illya’s death is used to illustrate this, how she cannot be saved regardless of whether Shirou makes the choice to intervene or not, how his sorrow is used as proof of his brokenness and his ability to move forward regardless is used as proof of his strength.

Consider why the Heaven's Feel route is named after the ritual that materializes the soul, why this is identified with salvation and rebirth by the Einzberns. I would argue that the Third Magic is a metaphor for the process Shirou undergoes throughout the novel.

He evolves from a machine into a human, gaining his own desires and the will to live. And just as Heaven’s Feel, the ritual, requires a sacrifice: Justeaze’s blood forms the foundation, so too does Heaven’s Feel, the route: Illya spends her own life to fully realize Shirou’s.

In moving past Kiritsugu’s legacy, he moves past his belief that his life is worth less than others. He wants to live, wants to let Illya save him, wants to let her sacrifice herself for him. In moving past Kiritsugu’s legacy, he moves past Illya.

I don’t blame him. I just want to emphasize how significant to this novel the existence of suffering is, how important the figure of someone who cannot be saved, how necessary a single person’s sacrifice. And how this falls on Illya in every route.

In the latter parts of the Fate route she quickly disappears from story relevance. Her functions as a Grail offer a convenient excuse to have her sleeping for much of the day, as it does for Kirei’s kidnapping of her, stringing her up as a sacrifice to open the gate.

In UBW we have Gilgamesh brutally ripping out her heart. He values her purely for her core, which holds the Grail, tossing aside the rest of her body.

If her role as the Grail is what drives her doom, though, she is at least partially able to overcome this at the end of Heaven’s Feel.

For a brief moment, Illya escapes the bonds of fate by uniting her deeply personal wish with the impersonal functions of the Grail.

She also dies. She fucking dies, okay? I’m so tired of talking about this as though it’s supposed to be a good thing, as though we’re just supposed to accept it as the best possible option.

It works precisely because we know there is another, because we know for a fucking fact that an Illya route could have existed, that her salvation is possible not just from a meta perspective but directly implied in-universe.

Illya’s power is to grant wishes, but she is incapable of giving voice to her own. She needs someone there by her side to tell her that it’s okay to want to live, and yet- Shirou is so fucking broken that he needs her to do that for him instead.

Illya could have lived, but she doesn’t, and in not doing so she carries half the weight of this story’s tragedy on her back.

In a way this is an excuse for the lack of an Illya route. I really do think its blatant absence adds something to Fate/Stay Night, really sells the tragedy of HF, becomes even more beautiful precisely because of its unattainability.

It’s a comment on how the artistic process, materializing your soul on paper if you will, is an inherently restrictive one, rife with failure and things left on the chopping board.

But it does not, not for a second, mean that we should accept the lack of an Illya route. It doesn’t mean the desire for it is a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that its addition would make Fate/Stay Night worse.

It would, however, become a different game at that point, and here I want to pay respect to the one that has lived alongside me for twenty years.

Thanks for reading, and happy anniversary to my favourite story of all time.

[sabrondabrainrot]

🌦️Dark Sun and 🔅Servant Sun

I tried my hand at designing Servant Sun and Dark Sun.

I'm getting more caught up on the lore!! Click underneath for art closeups and more Lore rants and AU idea! Plus, I have sketches and a comic WIP I've been working on.

😉

There will be rambly spoilers to where I am in the Lore.

For Dark Sun I was inspired a lot by the thumbnails, they give him red eyes a lot in the thumbnails and I like the smarmy red eyed look of the guy. Tried to capture his 'regal-holier then thou' attitude in his design. He's still Sun though, so I used OG Sun's palette (my first Sun design!) to reflect the fact they have the same beginnings. I don't trust anything he says but I know something has totally happened to his Moon (I'm really banking on the idea he ATE him/ ATE his intelligence chip) so he carries his Moon's bell and he also repurposed the star pattern of Moon to parade it around as like a symbol his Moon is at his heal. I don't know if I like his final look but I think it's because I gave him dramatically darker shading vs the other Suns.

Servant Sun! Here's my take on him. He's been suffering for over 10000+ years under Lord Eclipse abuse. We saw how he was being punished just because Lore Eclipse was bored! I feel really bad for this Sun, it was hard to draw a design for him. I think despite his servant title Lord Eclipse just keeps him around not only to keep himself sane but also a trophy/slave to show off to Moon and the others in the afterlife. I had this like monologue for SSun basically, "The sound of bells long ago stopped ringing for the daycare attendant turned servant but Lord Eclipse still can hear the sound of metallic chimes when the neurotic servant cleans thanks to his fanciful additions." (aka the chime of chains) He's also got an apron that's falling apart and SSun used random old fabric to patch it up (it wasn't random it was his old clothes). I was really inspired by Meagancandraw's design of Servant Sun!

Here's my AU sketches. I'm planning to clean these up and maybe color them? This is basically just the AU idea that I think Sun is going to somehow get reborn but be a being reborn from star power and negative star power? I don't know if it's possible? He becomes a mix of the two in my AU. I know some current spoilers and basically I know he may be immune to negative star energy? He can also hold Star Power uniquely and it 'taste good to him'. I will never let go of the fact he told Moon it taste nice like dried watermelon. His untrained magical outburst was also compared to be as powerful as Golden Freddy's. There's big theory he's going to die or be sacrificed but I have this idea what if he's essentially remade? idk just rambly thoughts. So yeah, he has a cool new look to go with his magical transformation.

BTW he is very sad cause he can't be near his family in this AU my brain cooked up. He's basically radiation incarnate now <3 His eyes are cracked because they're intensely pouring out Star/Negative Star power. Just a constant pull and push of power circulating in him.

this is the comic idea I have currently. I don't have a ton of motivation so any encouragement to finish this comic idea would be super appreciated! I'm not a comic-type artist so this is out of my comfort zone (I've made a few comics but usually they are pretty janky)

ON TO THE RAMBLES - spoilers BEWARE:

NEW MOON MY BOY PLS YOU ARE HIDING STUFF FROM YOUR FAMILY. BOY NO. HE IS GONNA USE RUIN TO BRING BACK SOLAR?

Blood Moon just took Ruin. Also Dark Sun repaired Ruin after Molten took him to die in the dead dimension?? BOY??? Also, Dark Sun did something to Eclipse??? Bro is plotting. I wish I could get a read on Dark Sun but I don't even know how much of the truth he's been sharing thus far. He has no reason to tell anyone the truth and so far he hasn't hurt anyone just stole a bunch of data from Moon and built a bunker to escape total dimension collapse...He's just a big wild card for me.

Then there's New Moon, He's just actually going crazy after meeting Old Moon. Sun can tell something is wrong with his brother!!! I hope he can help him but spoilers tells me otherwise. The family is trying! Earth heard out Eclipse and Eclipse is getting Earth proof that Moon is currently cray-cray. Lunar is kind of hanging near Sun and Earth because the creator is now actively trying to kidnap him. So much spicy drama.

I don't pay attention much to the Freddy side of the plot but he's also dying?? bro??? What about Francine? The missing mom/wife? Poor Francine's suffering, she needs her mom and dad! I like that Puppet is hanging around her grandchild more it is very sweet. Foxy also got his 'bestfriend' Puppet a house/condo. hmm-Mmmhmm. Definitely no romantic tensions there. Definitely not.

(side bar, I don't ship Kidscove but I do ship the Foxy and Puppet do they have a ship name? Also no hate to Kidscove I just think Foxy treats Sun like a kid a lot. I like the gooseworld Kidscove. Sun laid eggs, so wholesome.)

Lunar is just waiting for news on his trial and I am in suspense hoo boy...Then the stuff with FC being put in a new body and Frank is not happy about it. I def can tell there's big lead up to the astral bodies making a big move I just wonder what the move will be. I feel like now Lunar and FC are going to end up being more intwined then they might think.

Also I love Dazzle!!! AAAGH! She and Jack are so cute! I loved the ep Sun took Dazzle and Lunar to the store that was so sweet. Can't wait to see more of them! They're such a cute dynamic! I like seeing Lunar put his best foot forward to help Dazzle too.

I can tell Moon is slowly distancing himself from the others but it's like this odd thing where he's no longer obsessed with Solar being back per sei...but he's obsessed over how HE has to be the one to bring Solar back in his way because HE promised and he wants to be better then Old Moon and yeah...he's got a very warped perspective I feel like? But Molten and Ruin BOTH pointed out Moon is being possessed by something so I think he's definitely sick? Or something is keeping him from seeing the error of his way.

Rambles over :)

I do plan to draw Solar and Eclipse and Lord Eclipse next but I'm stuck on what I want to do for Solar's design :P I might make a poll in the future!

[the-s1lly-corner]

A miniature flashlight on a keychain (Ticci Toby x Reader) (Ending 5)

this one might be a little... eh... compared to the other endings but i prommy i was into this ive just been all over the place lately-- putting the polls back to 1 week since my motivation is.. hmm... so remember to vote on the poll at the bottom of this post if you wanted someone else! notes: reader is gn, admin is still figuring out how he wants to write toby, jeff is an asshole cws: none word count: 1.9k

You reach your hand into the hat and pull out…

A tiny flashlight on a keychain. Without giving it much extra thought your thumb flips the switch to find that the light does indeed work. You couldn’t immediately think of who it could belong to, but you quickly get your answer when you hear Jeff elbowing Toby hard in the ribs and giving him a look. Jeff’s eyes dart between you and Toby, and under the mess that he calls his hair you can see him raising his brows at the proxy. 

You cannot read Toby’s face due to the goggles and mouth covering he was wearing. Jeff shifts to grab him by the back of his hoodie, and he motions for you to follow as he basically manhandles Toby down the hallway who only really seems to be fighting back due to the rough treatment. You’re shoved into the closet with Toby not following too far behind.

“Remember: seven minutes and then I’m swinging the doors open-” His eyes flick to Toby, “Don’t get too crazy in here,” He cackled and slammed the doors shut. You can see the shadows of Jeff’s feet under the door remain for a few seconds, before he finally makes his departure. 

You take a moment to readjust yourself on the floor into a more comfortable position, however you find it hard as the shock wears off enough for you to realize Jeff basically tossed Toby haphazardly on top of you. Not that Toby was particularly heavy, though, and you were able to push him to the side with relative ease.

…Or you would have been able to if you placing your hand on his shoulder didn’t snap him out of whatever trance he was in, prompting him to scramble off of you and basically slam himself against the wall across from you- giving you more than enough space to fall into a more comfortable position on the floor. Toby’s eyes bounce around from your face, to your body, the floor, the wall, the door- really anywhere he could look in the darkness until he fully assessed. 

After a few seconds he seemed to actually look at you and untense from where he pressed himself together, finally falling slack against the wall.

As if he hadn’t just leaped across the closet he greeted you, as he would any other time he ran into you everyday. 

“Hey,” 

Short and as casual as he could muster. 

You nod your head. 

“Yo,”

The air fell silent between the two of you, only serving to highlight the awkwardness radiating off of the man in front of you- if you squinted through the darkness you could see his jaw working behind his face covering. 

“So you and Jeff, what was that all about?” You asked. 

“Nothing, he’s just-t being an asshole… What’s new?” He rolled his eyes, but he now avoided looking at your face. You only offer a soft “oh..” and fall back into silence. 

You pat your palms against your thighs, and Toby cracked the knuckles of his fingers. At this rate, you were sure the entire seven minutes were going to spent like this- and while you wouldn’t be totally against it, you… weren’t sure if you could take much more of the suffocating atmosphere without at least saying something.

“How come you picked this game? Jeff said-” 

“Who cares what J-Jeff said?” Toby nearly hissed, only to soften as you pull away from him. He cracked another joint in his knuckle and reeled himself back in. 

He was more irritable than he normally was. It wasn’t an uncommon sight to see Toby snapping at others however something seemed. 

Off. 

When he finally brought his eyes back to you he seemed to gather himself to pull an entire 180 in his attitude- or at least pretend to for the time being- you… weren’t exactly sure. 

“I was actually hoping someone in specific pulled my keychain,” 

Now you could recall: Jeff had said that Toby- or “Lover boy” as he had so affectionately called him- was hoping for his crush to pull his item. Before you could bring yourself to speak you found yourself thinking several things. 

Namely, who was his crush?

You scraped through your mind for a long moment. It couldn’t be Slenderman, he practically saw him as a father; and by extension he viewed Splendorman as an uncle. It couldn’t have been Jane because he already knew she wasn’t going to be attending the party… You lingered on Jeff for a moment but decided to file that away for another day- Nina viewed him as a brother… 

And secondly- had you ruined his plans when you drew out the flashlight? 

Your moment of silence only lasted a few seconds before you pushed him to continue. “‘S’that so?” 

Toby nodded.

“Who were you hoping to get then?” You ask, he doesn’t say anything but he does lean his head towards you- and much like earlier with Jeff you could see his eyebrows raise up behind his messy brown hair, copying the look his friend had given him just a minute or two before.

It clicked.

“Ah-!” Is really the only word you can get out before the realization sinks deeper and deeper- you could feel your face burning hotter with each second as your hands spread as far as they can across your thighs and grip them.

You weren’t exactly uncomfortable, if anything you were completely taken off guard. 

You took a deep breath through cracked teeth and steeled yourself for whatever was to come next. You were thankful that Toby decided to be kinder today and let you have this much time to compose yourself.

You always took Toby to be the type to want an answer in the exact seconds after confessing, however he was currently proving your idea of him wrong. 

You decide to be bold, and your effort rewards you by catching him off guard. 

“You said you wanted to try to… ‘get some’?” You asked, recalling Jeff’s words as he had pawned the responsibility of the choice of game off to Toby. 

In an instant the smug and teasing look he gave you was replaced with something more scattered as he tripped over his own words to explain himsef.

“See- nonono- n-n-no! Th-at’s not at all what I said- You see-” Toby’s gloved hands flung into the air in front of him, waving around as he tried to find his voice. The fingers curled as he groaned- likely internally cursing Jeff in his mind for the wording he had chosen. 

“Uffgh!” 

“Take your time,”

He pushed his goggles up and let them rest on top of his head, and he rubbed his eyes. 

One deep breath became two. 

“H-He makes it sound so…” His mouth covering scrunched as he grimaced. He went ahead and pulled it down. He tucked it into his jacket pocket and looked at you.

“I just-t think you’re…” He paused to find the words. 

“Cute…”

His hands lay limb in his lap as his eyes lowered to just below your face, somewhere on your neck. 

You only smile and offer a soft chuckle. “You think I’m cute?”

“And hot-t and-” He started but stopped as you dragged yourself across the floor closer to him. 

“Well you’re lucky, because I think you’re cute too,” 

He blinks slowly at you, the flush of his cheeks made incredibly obvious thanks to his pale complexion. 

You hover your hands over his upper arm and look at him. He shuffles it against your open palms and you gently clasp your hands around it. You press your body into the side of his and rest your head into his shoulders- completely taking the lead as he squirmed slightly under you… despite that he tugs you back against him when you try to backpedal and retreat. 

He wanted this, he simply wasn’t used to this- or expecting it really. 

You sigh softly as you get comfortable.

You reach a hand towards his lap and grab one of his hands. 

“I know this isn’t exactly, giving you some-” 

Toby groaned above you but you only giggled in response.

“But I don’t actually… know what you would expect from a statement like that,” 

Toby pulled his head away from yours and stared down at you. You readjust yourself to look him dead in the eye. “I’m open if you have any suggestions, though… no quickies, though,” You stick your tongue out. “I was-n’t-!” He inhaled sharply through his nose.

“Only teasing of course,” You chuckle. 

“Well…” You started up again, but you didn’t get the chance to say anything as the thundering sound of footsteps outside quickly approached.

Was it time?

Why didn’t Jeff give a warning?  

You didn’t get much time to think much of anything else as light practically assaults your eyes as it floods into the dark room. The blurred image of Jeff stands above the two of you as he pants raggedly- both of his arms bracing himself against the doorframe to keep himself standing. 

“Times- up!” He barked through gasps. 

He was looking directly in front of him at the wall.

He finally slowly lowers his head to look at you and Toby cuddling into one another on the floor. He clicks his tongue against his teeth- the fact you can see the movement through the cuts in his cheeks makes you mildly uncomfortable. 

“Times up,” He repeated, and looked down at Toby with an almost teasing glint in his eye. Toby swats at his arm as he pulls the two of you out of the small closet. 

“Maybe next time sport,” 

“I’m older than you.” Toby muttered shortly, not at all noticing the arm that he had wrapped around your shoulders. 

He retracted it when he did finally notice. That only seemed to fuel Jeff more as he threw his hands up defensively. “I’m just saying- actually I’m surprised you got that far,” His wide blue eyes glue themselves onto you. “You know you can play again if you want, Toby’s got stage fright you know-” 

Sometimes you wondered if Jeff and Toby actually were friends.

Even you found yourself becoming annoyed at the burned man’s words. 

So annoyed in fact that you decided to stick it to him by tugging Toby towards you by the strings of his hoodie and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. You didn’t give it much thought, and you were probably going to roll later when it sank in how cringe the action was in response to the teasing. But at least in the moment it caught both of them off guard. 

Both men fall silent.

“Well damn, okay then, he’s the bitch then,” 

Jeff finally lays off of Toby, and walks down the hall. “Guess he actually said something then… not bad,” You heard him mutter under his breath as he went back to the living room to continue the game. 

You finally release Toby, and spin on your heel to face him. He snaps right back to his full height and stares down at you- or through you. 

He is… so…

Red. 

“I was going to do that my-self,” He sounded so genuinely defeated when he finally let the words spill. 

You blink. He cracks you a grin and you follow. “I guess not all of your plans can go through I guess,” You shrug and shift your weight between each foot. 

“So…”

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and copies your motions, the both of you shifting together in unison. 

“Do you… want to go out for a walk? I mean-” He starts. “If that’s okay with you,” 

“I’d like that…” 

A thought crosses your mind.

“You want to go through the front while holding hands? Really rub it in asshat’s face?” 

“Oh absolutely.” 

And you both did just that.

[babysun412]

Hi!! Can I please request a haechan one-shot in which he's totally whipped for yn

Hi! Thank you for your request! I hope you don't mind that I used Haechan's real name. I'm just used to writing with it. Anyway, I hope you like it! 😊❤

Whipped - Lee Haechan

Pairing - Haechan x Reader

You were already on your way back home when you got a text from Donghyuck. His message asked if you could stop by the practice room for while. Despite how exhausted you are, you caved and are now standing infront of the practice room door with food because you have the fattest crush on the world.

"Y/N!!!" Donghyuck shouted when he saw you through the mirror. He ran towards you and grabbed the food out of your hands. "You brought me food?"

"No," You teased with a smile. "I bought everyone food."

The dreamies came rushing towards you just as fast as Donghyuck did when you pulled out another bag from behind your back.

"You're literally the best," Jisung grabbed the bag and put it on the floor.

"I know I am," You sighed gently before patting your legs. "Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy your food."

"You're leaving?" Donghyuck's head shot up instantly.

"Yeah, I've got finals to study for," You grimaced as Donghyuck started whining at you.

"Y/nnnnnn you can study later," He had a pout on his lips as he dragged his feet towards where you were standing.

"I really can't," You tried to avoid looking at the puppy eyes he was giving you. "Everything's kicking my ass right now and i can't afford to fuck this up."

"You can study here!" Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders up and started pulling your backpack off your back. "You can study now and we can hang out after practice."

"Haechan-ah, she might be tired and just want to go home," Mark rolled his eyes at his best friend as Donghyuck proceeded to ignore him and set your bag against the wall.

"You'll stay, right?" Donghyuck's voice turned soft as he peered at you. He almost looked a bit shy.

"Yeah," You felt breathless at the smile he was giving you. "Just for a little while."

"YAY!" He screeched as he clung onto your shoulders before running back to finish his food.

By the time they got back to practicing you were almost falling asleep. Your classes had been keeping you up late at nights and you haven't been getting much sleep. All you wanted to do was curl up in your bed but who can say no to Lee Donghyuck?

"Dude, she's falling asleep," Jeno sighed before looking at Donghyuck. "You should've let her go home. She's clearly tired."

"No I'm not!" You straightened up and open your eyes as wide as you could get them to wake yourself up. "I'm as wide awake as ever."

Donghyuck peered over at you with worry. The divot between his brows was deep as he bit his lip. He didn't mean to keep you from sleeping but he really missed you. He likes spending time with you and gets more motivated when he sees your face.

Once there was another break he came over to sit next to you. He rubbed his sweaty hands over his legs and stared at the way your head was leaned back and your eyes were closed.

You weren't asleep but you could feel the warmth radiating off him with how close he was sitting to you. You wish you could bask in that warmth. You've constantly been avoiding telling him how you feel because you're afraid he'll reject you.

But hey...it doesn't hurt to take advantage of the situation now does it. You slowly leaned to your left until your head landed on Donghyuck's warm shoulder. You're body finally relaxing for the first time all day.

"Oh, y/n..." Donghyuck took a deep breath before he dropped his head on top of yours.

"We have to-" Jaemin started to say but instantly stopped talking when Donghyuck held a finger to his lips and gave him a life ending glare.

"Are you ever gonna confess?" Jaemin raised a brow as Donghyuck's cheeks began to turn pink.

"Shut up," Donghyuck grumbled.

You on the other hand could hear this whole exchange and it almost made you furrow your brows.

Does Donghyuck like somebody?

"She doesn't like me back," You heard Donghyuck say but it didn't seem loud enough for anybody but you to hear it.

Donghyuck slowly reached for your hand and slid your fingers together. You could feel him tracing light and gentle circles on the back of your hand.

"I'm sorry for making you stay," His voice was the softest you've ever hear it. "I know you're tired but...sometimes I just miss you."

You swear your felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest when his nose pressed into the top of your head and his free hand gently pushed your hair out of your face.

"You make me really happy," Donghyuck pressed a light kiss into your hair.

"Alright let's run it again!" Mark clapped his hands before screaming when Donghyuck had pick up one of your pencils and chucked it at him.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Donghyuck whisper yelled at him as you pretended to stir to not make it obvious you were awake.

Also maybe to calm yourself down because what in the actual fuck just happened.

"Haechan-ah-" Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"Five more minutes," Donghyuck huffed once he made sure you were "sleeping" again.

You had finally decided that maybe you would try to fall sleep on his arm. You could felt love burst through your chest at his words and you sleepily nuzzed your cheek against his shoulder.

"Sleep well, princess," Donghyuck ran his thumb over your knuckles as he stared down at your sleeping face.

If Chenle pretended to gag in the background then that was nobody's business but his and the ass kicking Donghyuck would give him later.

[kiwi-but-the-bird-not-the-fruit]

OMG HELLO HELLO okay so I saw your lil inbox saying “up for requests!” and so I’m assuming that your requests is open and if it isn’t I am SUPERR DUPER SORRY BOOKIE ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

OKAY SO I was wondering if you would totally be up for Clawdeen x Fem! Humanoid Kitsune! Reader? LIKE FLUFFY HEADCANONS I FEEL LIKE THEY WOULD BE SOO CUTE TOGETHER ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ

ANYWAYY IF YOU READ AND DECIDE TO DO RHIS THANK YOUU SM >.<‼️

Hello Pookie! Yes my request box is always open unless I specify before hand rn they are open as a archway to a temple lol

Okay love this prompt and x reader pairing

I've never done headcanons so bear with me here haha,i love kitsune and their lore so happy to make this

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Clawdeen wolf x fem! Kitsune! Reader (with humanoid features)

(H/t) hair type

(H/c) hair color

(E/c) eye color

(S/c) skin color

Fluff/relationship headcanons

I will make a little background how y'all got together and then the couple headcanons

Clawdeen never thought she would ever find someone that would catch her interest let alone have a crush but that all changed when she saw you.

Walking through the halls with her BFF Draculaura something had caught her eye so she naturally looked over to her left and then she fully focused on the ghoul passing by.

A beautiful kitsune with (h/t) (h/c) hair, beautiful (e/c) eyes that seem so gently yet wise radiant clear (s/c) the seemed soft to the touch, you were dressed in a short kimono dress with kneehigh heels with gold accents all around even on the accents of the flower patterns on your kimono, you gave her a smile and said "hi" as you walked passed her and her best friend Draculaura in the hallway

That was the moment clawdeen knew she had to get to know you and maybe become something more. She didn't know yet but she had this strong feeling in her chest and that she should at least try to find you again today.

And to her surprise later that day Clawdeen had actually found you once more 'okay you got this Clawdeen' she walked up to you and started up a conversation "Hey i wanted to say i love your outfit its so fierce" clawdeen pushed her bangs out the way as she looked at you with a toothy smile.

You look at the ghoul in front of you happily "thank you! I love your skirt, the patterns are so clawsome" the looked at each other a little buzz in the air "mind if I sit down?" Clawdeen asked you "not at all please I'd love some company, oh and I'm [Name] what's yours?" [Name] extended her hand to the ghoul sitting across from her at the outdoor table, "Clawdeen, nice to meet you" [Name] nodded saying "nice to meet you too Clawdeen"

The two ended up chatting about fashion and their interests and then two months into knowing each other Clawdeen had asked [Name] out with chocolates and flowers which made the ghoul swoon and ran into the wolf's arm kissing her cheek and exclaimed "yes yes yes" as her fluffy tails wagged side to side excitedly

_________________________________________

Now the headcanon!

-clawdeen loves holding you by the waist as she talks to you in any place and time she feels so giddy holding you gently with one arm the warmth radiating from you both like a personal heater.

-whenever she's at your house she plays with your two tails and she likes to brush them and the blush on your cheeks when she puts her face in the softness of your fur motivates her to do it every time she comes over.

-you two are very cuddly behind closed doors and she's actually the little spoon because she likes to feel the soft purrs on her back as you hold her close by her middle.

(I'm gonna pretend you can purr hehe)

-Clawdeen loves it when you wear something of hers, since she's a wolf she liked the idea that this is one of her ways to mark you as hers and that no one will try to get with you,if someone tries to get with you they are screwed

-you also like when she wears your clothes just like Clawdeen you think that your scent on her will make idiots leave her alone before YOU tear them a new one.

- kissing is her favorite,the way your lips and her's fit so well with yours,the smell of your fruit flavor lip gloss and hers that mix together to make a new color when you part ways, ughh yes you should kiss her all the time.

-she really likes your human form you look so cute and the way you get slightly shorter than your monster form is actually too adorable

-Clawdeen will often make you two matching outfits, some are suits or dresses whichever you want to match with she's down to do anything for her muse.

-speaking of muses you are hers she's always making outfits inspired by you and your background every pattern every style it always seems she has you in mind throughout the process

-dates are going to the mall, parks, the boovies and just hanging out. Who knows maybe you'll take her to a parking lot and chill with some snacks and music playing (a make out will happen she can't help it you're just so pretty!!)

-Did I mention Clawdeen loves to pet your fluffy ears? Oh and she loves it when you do it to her too, just gently caress them with your soft hand and she's melting

-she spoils you but not in a buying you expensive things, no she remembers the candy's and chips you like and gives you a cute basket of them every few months and since the candy you like isn't expensive she's just buying you one and brings it to school for you to munch on in class.

-but on occasions like your birthday, anniversary valentines day and Christmas she'll get you a specific jewelry for the both of you to adorn, she'll make a romantic dinner and after it she'll hand you the box smilling wide and proud she got her muse something so precious and beautiful just like you..well the jewle almost matches your beauty but your prettier

-the two of you definitely have fashion shows in your room that end up becoming karaoke and just jumping up and down singing your heart out and dancing to a slow romantic holding you close and giving you neck kisses that make you giggle in delight.

-sometimes you'll turn into a fox and lay on her lap just for the fun of it and she pets you while she sketches in her sketch book with a content smile.

__________________________________________

That's all I got for now, thanks for the request I made this rather quickly is surprised with myself (^v^)

And I genuinely don't know if this is the right way to do headcanon. Sorry if it's not correct.

[cheezbites]

Chris McLean As Your Ex Pt.2

Part One

✎: My first time writing smut... I’m a proud smut-writing-virgin!!😭🙏

♡Summary: Chris being a man-whore, and Y/N meets the campers. (Ex!Chris x f!reader)

WARNINGS: Language, smut, minors skedaddle!!!, overstimulation. (???)

➽Tag List: (Thank y’all for the sweet comments, they motivated me a lot through this whole thing!!!) @11aplacesange11 @prayersgems @marsyay78 @blobthejellyfish @lemonsarentlemons

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

The silence that filled the air wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, despite the enigmatic history between you and Chris.

“Care to grab me a towel?” you asked with a sense of sarcasm visible in your tone. When you looked at Chris he was already staring. But not in a sexual way - (despite your soaked pyjamas being translucent and exposing your bare figure). And not in a spiteful way, either.

He didn’t answer for a while, as if he was possessed by you.

“Oh, I uh- yeah,” he walked out of the room in hopes of finding Chef to fetch a spare towel for you. As you stood up from the bathtub, water trickled down your frigid body. You dried your hair by squeezing it tightly in your grasp and twisting it.

This whole situation was absurd, hosting with your ex, having a panic attack and the rumours online. Most importantly; you got your cutest pyjamas soaked, bummer.

You plopped yourself up on the counter and aimlessly kicked your feet - when he re-entered the room, his demeanour was distant this time around.

“Chef’s not here, he’s making the campers breakfast.”

-

“Here,” he murmured, handing you a fresh towel, but not even making eye contact with you in the process.

“Thanks,” you said, drying yourself off. You then realised the way he was fleeing from even momentarily sparing you a glance. It all began to make sense now, you were technically naked.

“It’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before.” You chuckled, mildly nestling his face and turning it so he could look at you.

“I shouldn't be here…”

“Why, do I make you nervous?” You swiftly and delicately dried your hair, completely unaware of the effect your question had on him. You made him more than nervous, you made Chris McLean a total wreck. He felt uneasy and apprehensive at the mention of your name, or just by thinking about you. But seeing you in real life, living and breathing and all - it took every cell in his body to not fumble his words and tremble uncontrollably.

His palms began to sweat and he ran a hand through this dark, messy hair. Amidst searching for the perfect answer that would best resonate his cocky know-it-all personality.

“Let me tell tell you something, Chris.”

“Uh- sure thing.”

“You know…” you settled your towel on the counter, giving him your full attention.

“The fans think my show’s latest episodes are being faked now, y’know, the fights and all. They think that so I can hype up my expected appearance for TDI.”

“Yeah, I understand.” he placed his hands next to your thighs, on the edge of the countertop where you were sat. “It’s stupid, but they will come to their senses. I promise. You’d never stage your content, they would know.”

Whilst he had you pinned between his arms, something else was holding you down: the way he was looking at you. His eyes, which were once a source of irritation, now radiated an infatuation that left you breathless. It was as if he was seeing you for the first time, your heartbeat accelerated when you realized that maybe, just maybe, the flame of your old love still flickered, waiting to be reignited.

“Stop…” you muttered, still unable to take your eyes off of him.

“What?”

“You know what you’re doing, Chris.”

“Hm?” he cocked his head to the side in the slightest.

…


“Shut up and kiss me,” you leaned in without a second thought - you saw this coming from a mile away. The way he was there for you only once and gave you one ‘look’, then you’re already whipped.

“Don’t you hate me?” he questioned in the midst of kissing you.

“I know.”

He carried you to your bedroom, causing your arms to wrap around his neck for leisure. As you straddled him on your bed whilst his hands were placed on your hips. You gave him tender hickeys on his neck, and he lowly grunted in response to the pleasuring sensation whilst he stroked your hair.

“Make sure to cover them before filming.”

You tugged your pyjama shorts and underwear off then reflexively grinded on his boner. As your body arched into his lap, his hands were around your hips closely pulling you in. You were already so unbelievably wet for him, fortunately it could be disguised as remaining water from the bathtub.

“Please Y/N… ‘need to feel you,”

“You don’t deserve me yet, Chris.”

“Please, baby- please...” You couldn’t help feeling bad seeing him like this, being so desperate and needy from how pussy deprived he was. You had him begging for you - to be fair, you were getting a rise out of this. He was so hard it began hurting him.

A beam of thrill and gratification was visible in his eyes when you unbuckled his belt and pulled his boxers down, his dick practically sprung into the air and precum was trickling down his tip. You sank onto his cock and adjusted to the mild pain by rocking your hips back and forth.

As you rode him, low grunts and whimpers flew past his lips. He moderately bucked up his hips so you could take more of him.

“Fuck,” he erratically babbled obscenities and curses under his breath as he softly fondled your curls.

“Chris, ‘m close,” you grunted, digging your nails into his shirt. He used his hands to guide and support you as your legs progressively gave out. Without warning, his slick filled you to the brim and spewed extensively. It covered your abdomen, top and bed sheets.

After a few more thrusts, your world flashed before your eyes. Your cum pooled around his inner thigh, you felt your heartbeat pleasurably throbbing in your clit and your breathing was hot and heavy. But he wasn’t done with you yet, he wanted to make a mess out of you. His favourite part about the aftermath of fucking the sense out of you was the way you looked.

Your hair would be messy, partly obscuring your face, while streaks of mascara smudged your puffy eyelids, and you’d have slightly bloodshot teary eyes. Which is what you currently look like.

He cautiously repositioned you to the centre of the bed and manhandled you into doggy-style position. Upon feeling lightheaded, you were willing to be obedient. Your back was arched and your ass was in the air for him, you used your trembling arms to support your upper body.

His already soaked penis slid up and down your throbbing cunt - teasingly rubbing circles onto your clit. He repeated this motion a few more times, and without warning he thrusts into you, inciting a startled whine to escape your lips.

He shoved his dick deeper and deeper inside of you with every thrust. One of your hands was covering your mouth in an attempt to silence your audible moans and the other was digging your nails into the bedsheets for dear life.

“Ch-Chris, ‘can’t take...it,” you sobbed, unobtainably moving your other hand from your mouth to the bed. Sinking your nails into the soft fabric.

“You’re taking me so well, baby…”

His randy words triggered you to clench around his cock, eliciting a groan from him.

Your eyes twitched and rolled back from the overstimulation, When you think he’s about to stop he keeps going; yet more passionately and intensified.

He mercilessly rammed his dick into you and clutched onto your hips so he could manoeuvre you freely and ensure you don't fall.

A stream of tears ran down your eye, you couldn't take the constant pounding. You couldn't do anything else but brainlessly sputter whatever came to mind. Fortunately, no one else was there. If they had been, all they would have heard were your muffled cries, moans and whines.

“Please,” you pleaded through tearful eyes and a quivering voice, unsure what you were begging for. As you clasped onto the cum stained cloth below you.

“Ngh- Ch—..ris!”

He applied pressure onto your clit and rubbed continuous circles with his thumb, your knees felt wobbly - akin to a jelly consistency, and your arms went numb and they gave in, granting Chris easy access as your arch had increased tenfold.

“Baby, baby… ’m close,” you blurted, burying your head into your pillow.

The speed of the pounding leisurely died down,“Fuck,” Chris groaned as he released his load into you, heavily breathing and briefly staying put before pulling out.

Soon you followed, It felt like an otherworldly experience coming twice in such a short span of time. Your entire body felt excruciatingly numb, but at the same time; the sensation was vaguely rewarding.

You collapsed onto your bed face-flat, still drowsily breathing. Chris tugged your hair so he could look at your face and everything was unkept: from your messy hair to your tearful eyes. Just what he liked. He buckled up his jeans and abruptly left the room.

He fetched an oversized t-shirt and dressed you in it. As well as a soft and comfortable blanket for both of you. Draping it over your body, you couldn't help but smile as you snuggled up next to him on, the warmth of the blanket enveloping you both.

With an officious yet endearing tone, Chris asked, "Do you need anything else, love? Water, a snack, a pillow... anything?"

You held his hand that was placed on your waist, feeling content. "I'm okay, Chris. Just having you here is enough."

He chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer. "Alright, if you change your mind, just let me know."

You closed your eyes, enjoying the comfort of the moment, knowing that even in the midst of your arguments and conflicts, there were these precious, sweet moments that made you appreciate each other's company.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

“Up close she looks even better… she’s so pulchritudinous.”

“Shut the fuck up, Harold. Nobody even knows what that means!”

“OMG, that's the girl on that one show that goes like, “Getting up close and personal with the icons!” and she's like suuuper famous!”

“How did Chris bag Y/N L/N? He’s a 4 on a good day.”

“Campers, settle down!!!” Chef yelled, silencing their overlapping chatter.

You warmly smiled at the campers, standing next to Chris on his podium. They were all situated around logs surrounding a toasty campfire. A majority of them were too busy ogling you in shock and astonishment, the rest were still in denial.

“Hello campers!” you greeted, a striking confidence was distinguishable in your voice.

“As most of you know already, my name is Y/N L/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you guys! I‘ve noticed some of you are big fans of my show, ‘Icons Unveiled’. Or you may know me from hosting previously, but for the next few weeks, I will be hosting Total Drama Island along with the great, famous Chris McLean!”

As you gave your speech, you had an unquestionable authority. They all patiently waited for you to finish speaking before they interjected with their own comments, you were humble at the same time. Two of the campers even broke down crying, one was a tall blonde with blue eyes and brown thigh-high heels, the other being a short brunette with pink leggings and a green shirt garnished with scouting badges.

“Is this a dream? Someone pinch me.”

“Okay, I hate Chris so much but her being here makes this SO much more better.”

“I can't breathe right now I’m about to die I think?! I’m starting to hear colours.”

Through all the ear-splitting reactions, a malicious set of eyes was set on you. Relentlessly shooting envious looks in your direction - a scrutiny that hoped looks could kill, and wishing you dead from simply glaring at you.

“That’s a really fun idea.” A silvery voice interjected, scowling her face at both you and Chris. You raised an eyebrow, bewildered at the sudden hostility.

“You’re going to be an outstanding hostess, right? Cue the applause, everybody.” The redundant remarks made everyone’s head turn to gape at her. She had straight blonde hair and striking blue eyes, she folded her arms over her tight red dress and crossed her legs, highlighting her crimson heels.

“Blainley, cut it out.” Chris enunciated, impatience lacing his words.

“I’m glad you can even remember my fucking name, so what? You just abandon as this season’s hostess for Y/N?! Fucking Y/N L/N? What does she have that I don't?”

“Uh, hope I'm not interrupting. But who is Bethany? I was never informed about a Betahny hosting, too…” You purposely fumbled her name to further enrage her and see how far you could escalate this situation, just for the hell of it.

“Is it 'cause she’s prettier, more famous? Or is she a better fuck than me?!”

The campers froze with their jaws resembling an ‘O’ shape, and then they raucously chattered about what was unfolding, but her final comment ticked you off. Who does this bitch think she is? You could tell she had no shame publicly announcing her ‘sex life’ on national TV and causing an unnecessary one-sided fight. But you ensured you would have fun toying with and antagonizing her.

“I never will or have fucked you, you’re mentally ill. Just sit down and behave. You’re a con-tes-tant now, know your lane.” Chris retorted curtly, agitatedly drumming his fingers on the podium’s surface.

“Go to hell, Chris. And you,” she aggressively pointed an accusing finger in your direction.

“You can join him in hell, slut.” she stormed off from the campfire, flipping the cameras off. She left everyone else feeling shocked, alarmed and astounded by the scene she put up.

Masterlist

A/N: This part was kinda short, MY DEAREST APOLOGIES FR. I wanted to do a double chapter but this was marinating in my drafts for too long, and I could NAWT decide what to do for part 3. So as soon as I do I’ll get to writing it ASAP😔🤞. Next part will be a juicy double chapter I promise

[redrobin-detective]

Simon and Marcy's relationship through the years

So I finally watched the Stakes miniseries in Adventure Time and I think like I finally understand Marceline and her motivations better, especially regarding Simon.

So seeing the stuff with Marcy's mom from Stakes I think it's pretty clear why she sent Marcy away in the first place.

She didn't want Marcy to see her die. It could be any general post-apocalyptic illness I suppose but with a mutagenic bomb I'm gonna assume it's some sort of radiation poisoning. Marcy is little here, between 5-7 so I don't think she processed why her Mom 'abandoned' her, only the hurt left behind. We see she hadn't really accepted/understood until Distant Land's Obsidian.

So that fear of abandonment translates over to Simon who, also, is forced to leave 'for her safety'. So, objectively, it's about the crown, how he's slowly losing himself and could potentially hurt her. I had asked, right from the start of my AT watch 'why does he keep putting the crown on?' We see in Simon & Marcy, its as a deterrent against the dangers of a post-war world. But Marcy was important to him, surely he could find some other way, I mean look at this

This is not a man eager to leave behind the child in his care. So why did he?

And after watching Marcy's mom succumb to radiation poisoning it hit me. Simon left Marcy for the same reason her mom did: to spare her the pain of watching a parent die. Here are the lyrics from I Remember You

"This magic keeps me alive / but it's making me crazy"

The crown was keeping him alive through the apocalypse, if it wasn't poisoning from the bomb it might have been something else. Marcy, being half demon, was protected but Simon was totally human without the crown's protection. Simon realized he had no choice but to leave her: by dying as a human like her mother or lost to madness of the crown. So he left, to ensure she didn't have to see either one. It was probably the hardest decision he ever made and he felt guilty enough to write Marcy a note. He wrote it on the back of a picture of Marcy so she'd see it but she didn't get to read it until almost a millennia later. But for a thousand years, Marcy harbored resentment towards Simon and later Ice King.

Marcy stated she originally became a vampire hunter to protect the remaining humans, thinking it was an extension of protecting her one time protector. She grieved his loss in her life greatly which turned into bitterness and frustration. Marceline was seemingly abandoned by two close parental figures in her early childhood which -coupled with vampirism and living unchanging for centuries- turned her into apathetic, isolated punk rocker we meet at the start of the series.

We don't know when Marcy and Ice King formally met but we know they didn't have much interaction in the main Adventure Time series until I Remember You. If I were to guess, Marcy probably tried to get through to Simon briefly before giving up and then avoiding him. She probably assumed he left her for the power of the crown, her own hurt clouding the memories of Simon's actions and his words to her.

We know Simon reached out to her multiple times, tracking her down and spending time with her without really knowing why. Marcy, it seemed, did her level best to just avoid him. Until she finds the note Simon left for her.

It doesn't explain everything but it's enough for Marcy to understand the important bits: that Simon did not leave her willingly, that he loved her and seeking forgiveness for his future actions as the Ice King. After this episode, we see Marcy hanging out with Ice King of her own volition and, to the best of my knowledge, she only refers to him as "Simon" from now on.

It's a big step for her, who has clung to this hurt and anger for a long, long time. To look at a man who doesn't remember her and open her heart just a crack to let him through again. I think the note from the past plus the singing in the present gave Marcy a way to bridge this crazy wizard to her old friend. One of my favorite details in the song is we hear Tom Kenny's distinctive dopey Ice King voice throughout it until we get to the last few harmonizing Da Da's. Maybe it's my imagination but the last few tones on his end are softer, more human, closer to the Simon of memory.

Its a reminder to Marcy and to us that Simon was still there.

TLDR: Marcy's mom sent her away so her daughter wouldn't watch her die and Simon chose to do the same since he would have died without the crown. Marcy hung onto this grief for years shaping it into her early AT self. I Remember You gave Marcy closure on assuring Simon's affections for her and why he left. It was also when she finally saw him for the first time in Ice King and began to allow him back into her life which led to him being freed. These two make me so emotional.

[coolearistrashcollection]

Chapter Five: The honoured, the disgraced, and the cursed.

Characters: cult leader!Geto, cursed spirit!Reader (ft. Gojo) TW: self doubt Notes: no beta read, DM me if ur interested! (I still havent received feedback from yall either)

Prologue (part 1) here, next part here

“Why me, Suguru?” you mutter under your breath, your voice barely above a whisper as you sit on the roof, the cool night air brushing against your skin. His words still linger in your mind, swirling like a restless wind, and even though you’re far from him now, you can almost feel his presence.

You’re sure he heard your complaints before you left. You can picture that calm, composed look on his face when you’d complained earlier, brushing off your frustration like it was nothing. That familiar, infuriating way he never seemed rattled. It was almost comforting, though you’d never admit that out loud.

You replay his words in your head: “I thought you wanted something more than babysitting the girls, no?” His voice had been so sweet, almost teasing, like he knew exactly what strings to pull. You hated how easily he convinced you. Maybe it was because he’d been giving you more attention lately, always finding small curses for you to practise on, guiding you in ways that made you feel special. And you like feeling special.

You try to shake off the thought as you swing your legs idly over the ledge, watching the street below. People pass by, oblivious to your presence. You sigh, your thoughts drifting back to Suguru– again. You hate that he has this effect on you. But you don’t hate it enough to stop thinking about him.

The mission is simple enough: gather information on the Zenin boy, confirm if he’s inherited the Ten Shadows Technique, and engage only if necessary. Easy. Boring. Yet, here you are, restless.

“Why does he always get under my skin?” you groan, though the frustration isn’t nearly as bitter as it used to be. The thought of Suguru’s approval, the way his gaze lingers on you when you succeed, keeps you going.

You sigh, swinging your legs idly over the ledge of the building, your feet dangling as a few people walk by, unaware of your watchful presence. “I don’t even like scouting,” you groan, shaking off the creeping frustration before it can sour your mood further. The thought of Suguru’s approval is the only thing keeping you motivated. Your thoughts lately have been drifting back to Suguru, and you hate that he has this effect on you. But you don’t hate it enough to stop thinking about him.

Hours pass with nothing to show for it. You stare blankly at the street below when something, or rather someone, catches your attention. A tall figure moves through the crowd with a carefree stride, his white hair practically glowing under the moonlight. For a moment, you squint, unsure. Then it clicks.

The last time you saw him, he was still a cocky teenager, though admittedly talented. Now, though, something’s different. He still radiates that unshakable confidence, but there’s an edge to it. His signature dark sunglasses are gone, replaced with a white blindfold covering his eyes.

“Gojo?” you mutter to yourself, blinking in surprise.

Without thinking, you straighten up, waving him over from the rooftop. “Hey! Long time no see!” you call out, your voice cutting through the city noise.

Gojo stops mid-step, a grin slowly spreading across his face as he tilts his head up toward you. “Well, look who it is,” he says, his tone teasing. “Shouldn’t you be hiding or something?”

You roll your eyes at his playful taunt. “Yeah, yeah. More importantly…” You jump down from the building, landing smoothly in front of him. “What’s up with the blindfold? Got tired of wearing those ridiculous glasses?”

Gojo’s grin widens, clearly relishing in your curiosity. “I got stronger,” he boasts, his voice dripping with that signature smugness. “You wouldn’t understand.”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “Stronger, huh? Yeah, I totally believe that. Next you’ll tell me you’re invincible.”

He chuckles, amused by your sarcasm. “You haven’t changed a bit. Still full of attitude, I see.”

“And you’re still full of yourself,” you shoot back with a playful smirk. But as the teasing fades, your expression softens. “Seriously, though. It’s been a while. How’ve you been? I know something happened between you and Suguru.”

For a split second, Gojo’s smile falters. His usual carefree attitude flickers, replaced by something more guarded. He shrugs, attempting to brush it off, but you catch the subtle shift in his mood. “We aren't in contact anymore.” he says, his tone casual, but there’s a weight to his words. Seems like neither Suguru nor Gojo wants to talk about what happened. “Different paths and all that.”

His eyes, well, you assume he’s looking at you through the blindfold, shift back to you, a mischievous glint returning to his voice. “But since when are you and Suguru on a first-name basis, huh? Wanna tell me something?”

You bristle at the suggestion, your brows knitting in annoyance. “That’s none of your business, Satoru,” you snap, a hint of defensiveness creeping into your tone.

Gojo chuckles again, clearly savouring how easily he got under your skin. “Sure, sure. Just saying… you two seem pretty close these days.”

If you had a heartbeat, it would quicken, with heat rising to your cheeks. “Wait, you’ve been watching–” You open your mouth to retort, but before you can get a word out, Gojo waves a hand dismissively, cutting you off with his usual breezy nonchalance.

You feel a twinge of something you can’t quite name, annoyance, defensiveness, maybe even embarrassment. It’s true that Suguru has been different with you lately. You’ve noticed the small gestures, the way his attention lingers a little longer than usual, the way your conversations have shifted, grown more personal. But… could that really mean anything?

Gojo sighs, shoving his hands into his pockets and tilting his head up toward the moon. “Suguru’s… different now. You know that, right? He’s not the same person we used to know back in school.”

You frown, arms still crossed. “I'm fully aware. He’s more intense.”

“You’ve seen it, then.” Gojo looks back down at you, his expression serious for once, a rare sight. “I don’t know what he’s been telling you, but following Suguru now... it’s dangerous. He's manipulative and deceives people for his views.”

“I have to follow him regardless, it comes with the cursed spirit manipulation.” You continue, faltering slightly, the cracks in your certainty beginning to show, “Besides, he’s been… kind to me. He’s helped me.” 

Gojo lets out a small sigh, shaking his head. “That’s the thing about Suguru. He knows how to make people feel special, like they’re the only one who matters. But trust me, he's got his own agenda now.”

You want to argue, to defend Suguru, but Gojo’s words hit too close to the doubts that have been creeping in lately. You know Suguru has always been somewhat distant, secretive even, but you've brushed it off, choosing to focus on the attention he’s given you. Maybe you’ve been too blinded by his approval to see the truth. You’ve told yourself that he’s just focused, that his plans are larger than anything you could understand. He’s his own plans, bigger than anything he’s shared with you. 

Regardless, he’s been kind to you, right? He has no reason to if he only wants to use your powers.

Right?

"He’s helped me," you repeat, but even you hear the uncertainty in your voice.

Gojo shakes his head, his voice almost pleading now. "That’s what Suguru does. He makes you feel special, like you’re the only one who matters. But it’s all part of his manipulation. You’re just another tool to him, whether you realise it or not."

The sorcerer continues, his tone fainter now, almost concerned. “Look, I get it. I do. Suguru and I were close too, and I know how easy it is to get swept up in his charm. But things are different now. He’s not just looking out for you. He’s got bigger plans, and he's set on using you as a weapon.”

You clench your fists, the doubt creeping further into your mind. You don’t want to believe Gojo, but some part of you knows there’s truth in what he’s saying. Suguru’s attention, his guidance, it’s always been calculated. He knew exactly what you needed to hear, and you’ve been desperate to prove your worth to him ever since.

"I’m not stupid, Gojo," you snap, your voice laced with frustration. "I know what Suguru’s plans are, and I’m fine with them. I’m his weapon to use, I don't mind it. In fact, I'm perfect with that arrangement." The words feel hollow as they leave your mouth, the conviction behind them fading. “I agreed to that when he absorbed me. As long as I'm not sealed, I'm fine.”

Gojo’s expression dims, and for the first time in the conversation, he looks genuinely concerned. "I know you’re not stupid," he says gently. "But that doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt. Suguru is dangerous now, and following him won't end well. All jujutsu society is hunting him down, you included."

His words hang in the air, unsettling something deep inside you. You’ve always trusted Suguru blindly, haven’t you? That’s probably his technique working, in some way. But, he’s also been there for you when no one else was: he saved you, guided you, when he didn't have to. But now, the certainty you’ve clung to feels fragile.

The city noise fades into the background as you stand there, Gojo’s warning echoing in your mind. Doubt gnaws at you, but so does something else: a deeper, unspoken question.

What am I to Suguru, really?

Gojo’s expression is unreadable, he purses his lips. “Guess there will be a rematch for us though. I'll win again, this time without his help.”

“I got stronger too, Gojo. It won't be an easy fight.”

The tension could be cut even with a blunt knife. You don’t want to admit it, but Gojo’s words have shaken something inside you. There’s a part of you that wants to cling to the idea of Suguru as the one person who truly wants to help you, but now doubt lingers. 

Is he only helping himself?

Gojo breaks the silence with a half-hearted laugh. “Well, enough with the heavy stuff. I didn’t come here to lecture you. Just… be careful, okay?”

You manage a small, forced smile. “Yeah, well, I don’t need you to worry about me, Gojo.”

He grins, the teasing attitude returning. "Worry? Please. I don’t worry about curses. I just kill them." His tone is easy, but there’s still a lingering seriousness to it. "But hey, maybe you like me more than you think. Suguru might get jealous if he knew we were having such a heartfelt talk."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “In your dreams, Satoru.”

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He chimes, a carefree sound that momentarily lifts the seriousness of the conversation. “But hey, you just called me by my name, we're basically together now. Suguru will definitely not like that.”

As Gojo begins to walk away, you call out, “Seriously. Why do you care so much anyway?”

He pauses, glancing back over his shoulder with a faint smile, his voice is careful. “Because I’ve been there. Getting heartbroken sucks.”

His words linger long after he’s gone, and you find yourself staring at the empty street, your thoughts a tangled mess. Heartbroken? The idea unsettles you in ways you hadn’t expected. You’d never thought of your connection with Suguru like that. 

It's not like that, right? Curses can't like people.

“Why do I care so much?” The question gnaws at you as you turn your gaze back to the city. Suguru has been everything to you: teacher, protector, maybe even more. But now, Gojo’s words worm their way into your thoughts, poisoning the trust you’ve held onto so tightly.

You shake your head, trying to dispel the doubt. Suguru has helped you, saved you. He wouldn’t have gone out of his way to do that if he didn’t care. Right?

Yet, the cracks in your conviction are widening. You can’t ignore the way he’s changed: the distance, the animosity. Even when he’s kind, there’s always something beneath the surface, something you can’t quite reach. You used to think it was just who he was, but now… you wonder.

Maybe Gojo was right to warn you. Now, you wonder if you’ve been lying to yourself all along.

A low growl pulls you from your thoughts. You realise your cursed energy is fluctuating, reacting to your swirling emotions. This never happened before. You never had emotions, not like this. Something about Gojo’s words had unsettled you in a way that no person or fight ever had. It wasn’t just doubt. It was something deeper, something you didn’t even want to name. You quickly calm yourself, forcing the energy to settle, locking it down like a dam holding back a flood. You can’t afford to lose control here, not when you’re still in the middle of a mission. 

You’re going to ask Suguru after this. That will settle it, you tell yourself. Confronting him directly, that’s the only way to silence the doubt festering inside you.

A sharp gust of wind brushes past you, sending a shiver down your spine. You glance up at the sky. The clouds are thickening, swirling together in a way that feels unnatural, as if they, too, are mirroring the storm building within you. The heaviness of the night presses down harder than before, a strange sense of anticipation thumping in the atmosphere. You should be on alert, but your mind keeps drifting back to Suguru.

What am I to him, really?

Before you can dwell on it any further, the sound of barking snaps you back to reality. Two school-aged kids are walking down the street below, their dogs pulling at their leashes. The dogs seem restless, noses twitching as they sniff the air.

“Probably me,” you mutter under your breath, glancing down at them from your vantage point on the rooftop.

The dogs grow more agitated, barking louder now, their glare darting toward your direction. A flicker of cursed energy lingers around you, too faint for the kids to notice, but the dogs can sense it. They have to be shikigami: which means the mission is over, the boy has his family’s technique, and now you have to relay this to Suguru. 

And if you have the guts, confront him too.

As you leave the dogs stop barking, though they still seem uneasy, their ears pinned back as they continue to sniff the ground. The kids, oblivious to the shift, tug their pets along and continue down the street, the barking fading as they disappear around a corner.

For a moment, silence returns, but it doesn’t bring peace. It only sharpens the tension in the air, reminding you of the storm brewing inside you. The city around you feels distant, almost muted, as if everything is holding its breath, waiting for something to happen.

You let out a slow breath, your shoulders slumping slightly. “I’ll ask him,” you repeat in your head, though the confidence behind the thought is starting to flicker. Confronting Suguru isn’t as simple as you’re pretending it to be. 

What if Gojo’s right? What if Suguru is only pretending to care? What if you ask him, and his answer is even worse than your suspicions?

The idea scares you, a creeping unease tightening in your chest. You've always trusted Suguru, he saved you when no one else would, gave you purpose when you were lost, offered you a place by his side when the world seemed so far out of reach. He was honest from the beginning, told you what he wanted, and made his intentions clear. 

And you agreed, didn’t you? To save your own life. You agreed to follow him, to be used as a tool if necessary. For you, the lines feel blurred currently.

What if all of it was just manipulation?  

The thought strikes you again, unbidden, but you quickly shake it off. Banishing the doubt by shaking your head, you push yourself to move, to return to what you now call home. You’ve always been able to rely on Suguru. 

He was truthful about his intentions from the start and has kept his promise. Hasn’t he?

But still… there are those moments. The moments when you catch him staring off into the distance, his gaze distant and clouded, as if he’s seeing something far beyond the present moment. His orbs, usually sharp and focused, sometimes darken with something deeper, something you can’t quite reach. A wall that forbids anyone to look at his soul. It’s in those moments, those fleeting instances of defencelessness, that the doubt creeps in. You wonder if you ever really knew him at all. If anyone does.

What is he really planning? What will he do once you fulfil your purpose?

You bite your lip, fighting the urge to let your mind spiral further down the path of uncertainty. Focus. The mission is done. You’ve completed your task, gathered the information you needed, and now all that’s left is to return to Suguru. Then you’ll ask him directly, you tell yourself again. He’ll give you answers, and his answer will clarify everything.

You quicken your pace, footsteps echoing in the empty streets. Your cursed energy feels heavier and more unstable than usual, your emotions bubbling just beneath the surface, but you push them down, suppressing them. You can’t afford to lose control now, not when you’re so close to confronting him.

The sky above you is thick with clouds, the moon barely visible through the haze, casting a muted light over the city. The air feels charged, tense, as if it is on the verge of snapping. You push forward, your mind racing even as you try to calm yourself.

What will Suguru say when you ask him? 

Your heart pounds in your chest as you reach the familiar building where Suguru is waiting. The door creaks as you push it open, stepping into the dimly lit hallway. The air inside feels suffocating, as if the very space itself is brimming with the weight of the unspoken.

You’re just a few steps away from the confrontation you’ve been dreading. Your hands curl into fists, trying to summon the strength you need. I’ll ask him, you repeat, but the words feel weaker now, less certain. What if his answer isn’t what you want to hear?

You stop just outside the door to his room, your hand hovering above the handle. For a moment, you consider turning back, retreating before the doubt can become real. But then you remember Gojo’s words, the warning he gave you, and something inside you hardens. You need to know whether it breaks you or not.

With a deep breath, you open the door and step inside after knocking. Suguru stands by the window, the dim light casting long shadows across the room. His back is to you as he gazes out into the dark night, his figure strong yet distant, as if he's miles away even though he’s just a few steps from you. His presence fills the air between you, but it doesn’t feel oppressive, just heavy with something unspoken. You've already asked him once about where things stand between you, and though his answers calmed your doubts for a while, they left you with more questions than before. Yet here you are again, drawn to him in ways you can't quite explain.

You hesitate just outside the door, recalling the way he’d deftly avoided your last confrontation, how his smooth words lingered in your mind long after. His calmness was frustrating, but also strangely reassuring. You know what he’s capable of– the side of him that the world fears– but there’s another side too. The side that you’ve come to see, the one that keeps pulling you closer, making it impossible to walk away. You hope this time will be different. It has to be.

Taking a steadying breath, you knock once and push the door open.

“Suguru,” you call delicately, breaking the silence that hangs in the air. “He has it. Two dogs so far.”

“But we need to talk,” you continue after a small pause, your voice quieter now, more hesitant. Yet, the words feel loaded, a deeper meaning buried beneath them.

He turns slowly, his amethyst orbs meeting yours with an intensity that would make your heart skip. Neither of you speak for a long moment, and the tension between you feels almost tangible. His expression is calm, smooth, but the way he looks at you– it makes you wonder if he’s been waiting for this, too.

“I already asked you once,” you begin, stepping closer, your voice firmer than you feel. “But I need the truth this time… about everything.” There’s a weight to your words, though you can’t tell if it’s strength or fear that propels you forward. Fear of losing him, of never knowing where you truly stand.

He watches you in silence, his eyes never leaving yours. When he finally speaks, his voice is as smooth as ever, but there’s something gentle beneath it, something almost exposed. “I thought I told you,” he says, lips curving slightly. “You know where I stand.”

“Do I?” you challenge, stepping closer again. Frustration swirls inside you, but so does something deeper, something you’ve tried to push down for so long. “You keep telling me everything’s fine, but it’s not. You’ve been distant, Suguru. Even when you’re here, it’s like you’re somewhere else. You never told me what happened before your graduation. I know it was bad.”

For a brief moment, his expression softens, but the vulnerability is fleeting, quickly hidden behind his usual calm exterior. “It’s not that simple.” he murmurs, almost as if he’s speaking more to himself than to you.

You search his face, hoping for more, but the silence stretches between you. “I don’t know if I ever really understood you. I don't know if I ever will.” you admit, your voice wavering. “You’ve been kind to me, but sometimes it feels like you’re holding back, like I’m only here because–”

“Because what?” he cuts in, stepping closer, his presence overwhelming. “You think you don’t mean anything to me?”

The intensity in his voice, the way he’s looking at you– it sends a shiver through you. “I don’t know,” you whisper, the words catching in your throat. “I thought I did, but now... I’m not sure. I'm meant to open up to people more, but you can't do it yourself.”

For the first time, Suguru’s composure falters, his jaw tightening as he looks at you, something raw flickering in his eyes. “You do mean something,” he says soothingly, and there’s an honesty in his voice that makes you feel warm and fuzzy. His hand twitches at his side, like he’s considering reaching for you, but he hesitates. “More than you know. More than I like to admit.”

The admission catches you off guard, your breath hitching as the tension between you shifts into something more charged. “Then why does it feel like you’re always holding me at arm’s length?” you ask, stepping closer still. “Like you’re afraid to let me in.”

Suguru’s stare lowers for a moment, and when he looks back at you, his voice is quieter, more sensitive. “Because I don’t know how to. I'm scared to.” His confession provokes something, and for the first time, you see the cracks in the walls he’s built around himself, the weakness he’s kept hidden for so long.

He doesn’t continue right away, but his purple orbs soften as he looks at you, the tension between you shifting again, becoming something more intimate. Slowly, he steps even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. “You matter to me,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. “I wouldn’t be here, speaking my heart out if you didn’t.”

His words wash over you, and for the first time, you feel like you’re seeing the real Suguru, the one behind the walls, behind the careful control. He is finally letting you see the real him. You’ve always known he was someone with a mission, someone who rarely lets anyone close, but in this moment, standing so close to him, you realise that he’s starting to let you in.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you whisper, your heart racing as you hold his gaze. “Not unless you push me away. Perks of cursed spirit manipulation, huh?” you let a low chuckle.

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, just looks at you with a look that makes your knees tremble. Then, slowly, his hand moves, his fingers brushing against yours; They're light, tentative, but enough to send a spark through you. He doesn’t speak, but the gesture does instead.

You stand there, the air between you thick with unspoken feelings, and for the first time in a long while, it feels like you’re not just standing beside Suguru, you’re standing with him. And from the looks of it, he’s finally letting you stay.

His fingers brush yours, tender and light, but the silken touch sends a warmth through you that makes it impossible to stay still. The distance between you is all but gone now, and the air feels charged, heavy with everything you’ve wanted to say but never found the words for. The hesitation, the uncertainty, everything melts away when you feel his hand close around yours– a quiet but undeniable connection in the space where your palms meet.

Suguru’s eyes flicker, the tension in his expression softening as he steps even closer, until his chest is just inches from yours. The world outside the window, the quiet hum of the room; all of it fades away. It’s just the two of you, wrapped in a silence that feels both fragile and powerful.

Before you can speak, before you can even think, his arms slowly circle around you. It’s not hurried, not desperate, but there’s a tenderness in the way he pulls you into him, like he’s been holding back for so long, and now, he’s finally letting himself do what he’s wanted all along. Your body responds without hesitation, your arms finding their way around him in return.

The embrace is snug, mellow, so much more than you imagined it would be. You can feel the steady beat of his heart against you, his breath gentle in your ear. It’s as though everything that’s been unsaid between you is being communicated now, in the quiet comfort of his hold. At this moment you wish you also had a heart and experienced this as a human, but in a way, Suguru has been teaching you that too. 

“I'm sorry for locking you away.”

For a moment, neither of you moves. You press your cheek against his chest, closing your eyes as you breathe him in, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath you. There’s a strength in his arms, but also an easiness that catches you off guard. It’s the kind of vulnerability he rarely lets show, and it feels like a privilege, one you weren’t sure you’d ever be given. The girls surely have seen this side of him before, but it has been a while since he has shown it to you. He hasn't been like this with you since highschool, since that happened. 

You’re not sure how long you stand like that, but time seems to stretch and bend, each second feeling both fleeting and infinite at the same time. Your doubts, the questions you came in with, all of them blur into the background. Right now, all that matters is the feeling of being close to him, of finally breaking through the walls he’s spent so long building.

"Suguru..." you whisper against his chest, your voice barely audible. You don’t even know what you’re trying to say. Maybe it’s gratitude, maybe it’s relief. Or maybe it’s the overwhelming rush of affection that’s been building inside you since the moment you first found yourself drawn to him.

He doesn’t say anything, but you feel him tighten his hold around you, his head dipping slightly so that his chin rests on the top of your head. The weight of him, the warmth of his body– it’s grounding in a way that makes your chest ache. There’s something safe in his arms, something you hadn’t expected to feel so deeply. And for the first time, you feel human, not just a curse.

Slowly, you lift your head, your gaze meeting his. His eyes are more gentle now, the guarded look from earlier fading into something more open, more real. His hand comes up to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering against your skin for just a moment longer than necessary.

"You don’t have to worry," he murmurs, "I’m not going to let you go. Not again."

The words hit you harder than you expected, and a warmth spreads through your chest, settling into a place that’s been cold for far too long. You search his face, your heart racing as you try to find the right words, but everything you want to say feels too big, too overwhelming. Instead, you lean into him, your forehead resting gently against his.

“You don’t have to push me away, either,” you say faintly, barely above a whisper. It’s not a question, but a quiet plea.

For a moment, Suguru doesn’t respond. Instead, his gaze holds yours, intense but unguarded in a way you’ve rarely seen before. He’s letting you in, truly in, and it’s both exhilarating and terrifying.

“I won’t,” he finally says, his voice rougher, quieter now, as if the admission costs him something. His hand moves from yours, sliding up your arm in a slow, deliberate motion until it rests lightly on your cheek. His thumb traces a smooth line along your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. “I can’t.”

His words are a promise, and as you look into his orbs, you know that, in this moment, he means them. You’re not just someone standing beside him, you’re someone he’s chosen to let in, someone who matters.

The space between you disappears entirely as he leans down, his forehead gently pressing against yours. The closeness, the warmth of his breath against your lips, makes your pulse quicken. There’s an unspoken question in the way he looks at you, a moment of hesitation as if he’s waiting for permission, for reassurance that you feel the same.

And you do. God, you do.

Without thinking, you close the distance, your lips brushing his in the softest of kisses, tentative and gentle at first, as if you’re both testing the waters. But the moment your mouths meet, something shifts. His hand slides to the back of your waist, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss with a tenderness that leaves you breathless.

At this moment, nothing else matters. Not the doubts, not the questions, just the feeling of being wrapped up in him, in this connection you never thought you’d have.

And for the first time in a long while, you feel like maybe you’ve finally found where you belong. Right here, with Suguru.

[spittingbloodandscreaming]

can u do cis alex k. x cis male reader smut where alex spanks the reader and perchance piss play like reader being forced 2 piss themselves pretty pretty plz :3

WARNINGS: piss, semi-public? you're in the woods, humiliation, brosex?

thanks for the 10 bucks!! Sorry it took me a while to spit this out, so i hope you like it! sorry I totally forgot to incorporate the spanking

"Alex, I need to piss dude."

You and Alex have been out in the woods since about 10 AM, working on his student film Marble Hornets. It's now 2:30, and you've had to pee for the last hour or so. And you’ve been complaining about it for that long, too, but Alex is getting increasingly annoyed.

“Then go behind a tree or something, we're in the woods,” Alex says, rolling his eyes as his warm breath turns into fog around his face. He holds his camera up to a dead tree, for some reason. He's responded this way for the past hour, disregarding your basic human need to pee. He couldn't care less if you end up wetting your pants. In fact, it might even serve as a 'I told you so' moment. That’s what he tells himself. Though, secretly, he has a different, less passive-aggressive motive behind wanting you to lose control.

“No! I’m telling you, that’s weird! What if a bird or a squirrel sees my dick or something.” Alex just rolls his eyes, completely choosing to ignore your genuine concerns of indecent forest exposure other than letting out an indignant sigh. You huff, kicking a tree stump only a few feet away from the tree Alex was focused on. Really, he could care less about whether you pissed your pants or not. He might even like it, it could be a good ‘I told you so’ moment. That’s what he told himself, anyway. In reality he’d like you pissing your pants for a very different, significantly less passive aggressive reason. 

As the next twenty minutes tick by, Alex is reaching his breaking point of annoyance, while you're bursting at the seams with urine. Shifting your weight back and forth, you continue 'whining', as Alex puts it, about needing to pee. Your absolute refusal to pee in the woods, while logical to you, is making Alex's filming process harder. So, it's either shut up and pee in the woods or shut up and wet your pants. Unfortunately for Alex, you're not complying with either of those options. You’re so uncomfortable; the pressure in your bladder is borderline unbearable.

“Dude, you're being really stupid right now,” Alex says, his back turned to you before he turns around, looking at the screen of his camera and periodically glancing up at you. “I mean, you seriously can’t be that against— did you just piss yourself?” Alex looks down to the very obvious. and, a decently large soaking wet spot in your pants. Your face is flushed a bright red as you look down to your pants, then moving your gaze down to stare aggressively at dead leaves. You’re completely over loaded with embarrassment, focusing on the nearest possible escape plan even though Alex had driven the both of you here. You hear Alex’s mildly sadistic cackling. What a supportive friend. “Dude! That’s really fucking embarrassing for you!” Alex nudges you a bit, taking time to catch his breath. “C’mon, look at me. That’s honestly really pathetic.” This is the part where you remember how much of a dick your friend is.

And even worse than the embarrassment is the way your body reacts to it.

You immediately cover your face with your hands, feeling the heat radiating off your bright red cheeks as Alex picks back up his howling laughter. “No, just— just shut the fuck up right now.”

“No way! You seriously got a boner over pissing yourself in front of me?”  Alex laughs harder, doubling over slightly as he does so. As Alex's cackling dies down, he collects himself and places his camera down on the tree stump. “Okay, okay we'll talk about that in a second, but don't you have a change of clothes in my car?” Alex speaks a little more genuine, but his voice stays laced with condescension. You shake your head in response to his question, cursing yourself for trying to save space in your bag.

Alex lets out a huff, pausing for a moment before clearing his throat. “Well, you probably don't wanna stay in those pants, y'know. It's gonna get cold soon and wet clothes are worse than none.” Alex tries to disguise his attempt at seeing you half naked and humiliated with half hearted concern. You saw what he was trying to do, but he was right. Any breeze that passed was absolutely freezing. So, with shaky hands(partially due to the cold, and partially due to your body radiating with embarrassment), and multiple thoughts telling you it was a bad idea to strip from the waist down in front of your friend, you unbutton your jeans and make very slow work of pulling them down. All the while, Alex is looking down at you with a strange amount of amusement on his face.

After a fair amount of time spent struggling to get your pants off over your shoes, you reluctantly look up at Alex. He takes a moment to adjust his gaze away from your crotch, only bringing more awareness to the fact you're sporting a hard-on in wet underwear. The look he gives you alone is enough to tell you to ditch those too, and so with a sigh, you do so. Now standing in the middle of the woods, half naked in front of one of your best friends, you begin to question just what led you here.

A train of thought that is, of course, quickly interrupted by Alex's horny gawking.

“You're really just on full display now, aren't you?” He takes a step closer, pushing up his glasses. He hooks an arm around your waist, pulling you way too close to him considering the situation. He's very liberal with his free hand as he continues to talk, ignoring how rigid your body gets at the sudden contact. “It's… not that big.” He takes the opportunity to grab your dick in his hand, only wrapping a few of his fingers around to further emphasize his point. The redness in your face deepens as you shudder. You'd look away if you hadn't already been aggressively avoiding looking at Alex the entire interaction.

Alex begins to move his hand, going all the way up your shaft and back down, moving devastatingly slow. He couldn't help but lean in to kiss you, and you would've pulled away, you really would've but, he was just so intense, it'd be a sin to pull away. Unless, of course, it was for Alex to talk more. “You're such a fucking loser you know that? Getting a boner all because you pissed yourself? Or was it ‘cause you pissed yourself in front of me?” Alex doesn't give you a chance to respond before he pulls you even closer and kisses you again. He speeds up his hand, sufficiently getting you to moan into the kiss, and he takes that chance to force his tongue into your mouth. Alex places a firm grip on the back of your neck, kissing you roughly as his other hand returns to the slow, steady pace he had set before. You throw your arms around Alex’s neck, getting weirdly into the situation you have yourself in. 

Alex only lasts a few minutes like that before he flips you around, pushing you against the closest tree and pulling your hips against his, forcing you to bend over. He reaches a hand around, shoving two of his fingers into your mouth. He presses down on your tongue, keeping his fingers in your mouth for a few more seconds before taking them out ever so slowly. He puts his free hand on your hip, fingertips digging harshly into the flesh. His other hand finds your entrance, wet fingers pressing into you, pulling an extended whine from your throat. You hear Alex undoing his belt as he works you open, followed by a long sigh as he removes his fingers from your hole and replaces them with the tip of his cock. Are you adequately prepped? Probably not, but at least he had the decency to try.

You aren’t sure how long Alex has been inside of you at this point, but his pace has become unbearably fast, and his thrusts are so hard they’re shaking the few remaining leaves off the dead tree he has you positioned against. Each moan you release is laced with quiver as you make an attempt to tell Alex how close you are, but he seems to catch on. He reaches a hand around to hook his fingers into your mouth, making it impossible for you to form any words at all as he growls.

Alex hissed, sucking in a long breath through his teeth as he bottoms out inside of you. He barely gives you any time at all to adjust as he starts rough right off the bat. The side of your face presses against the tree with every one of his thrusts, and there's drool dripping down your chin from both your inability to close your mouth properly at the moment, and because of just how good he feels inside of you.

“C’mon, you pissed all over yourself, right? You can cum all over yourself for me, too, right?” You do your best to nod, drooling all over Alex’s hand as you moan loud enough to surely be heard from any nearby trails. Alex’s hips start to stutter, too, a sign that he’s without a doubt close to filling you up. You still cum before him, of course. Your muscles spasm, your legs buckling and struggling hold you up. It only takes a few more thrusts for your dick to twitch, sending spurts of cum that hit both your stomach and the tree you're pressed against. 

It can’t be more than a minute before Alex’s fluidity turns jagged, filling you with his hot cum, rutting his hips into you as he does so. Once his movements completely stop your chest is heaving. He slips his fingers out of your mouth, panting as he wipes your spit onto your shirt. He leans into you, holding you up by your hips as you let your upper half relax into the tree that's been oh so graciously supporting you this whole time.

“I’m so glad you pissed yourself, dude.”

“Shut up,” you’d be more irritated if you could muster the energy for it, but all you can gather is an exasperated sigh.

“We really should do this again sometime,” Alex says, his voice still breathy as he kisses the top of your head.

[talonabraxas]

"I am pure light, not just a fistful of clay. The shell is not me, I came as the royal pearl within. Look at me not with outward eye but with inward vision of the heart; follow me there and see how unencumbered we become." --Rumi

The Lotus Of the Heart

Visualize within yourself a lotus. Have you ever seen a lotus flower? I am sure you have. Now visualize this lotus flower centered right within the center of your chest, right within your heart. You have read in the Hindu scriptures that the Self God dwells in the lotus within the heart. Let’s think about that. We all know what the heart is, and we know what happens when the heart stops. Try to mentally feel and see the heart as a lotus flower right within you. Within the center of the lotus, try to see a small light. Doubtless you have read in the Hindu scriptures that the Self God within the heart looks like a brilliant light about the size of your thumb–just a small light. This light we shall call an emanation of your effulgent being. We could also call it your atomic power, the power that motivates, permeates, makes the mind self-luminous. It is dwelling right within. The Self God is deeper than that. The lotus is within the heart, and the Self God dwells deep within that lotus of light.

The subconscious area of the mind consumes many different things. Begin now to think about all the things that you own in your home and all of your personal possessions. The subconscious area of the mind is attached magnetically to each of them. They not only exist in the external world, they also exist, quite alive, within the subconscious area of your mind, along with all the ramifications connected to them. Each item that you own has a story attached to it which, of course, you remember. This story, too, dwells within the subconscious mind and is carried along with you all of the time.

But it is easy to rid yourself of the attachments to material things by going within, once you know how. The light which emanates from the lotus of the heart knows nothing about what the subconscious area of the mind consumes, because the total area of the mind in which we are aware is a composite of many things.

Everyone who functions in external and inner life lives in a slightly different area of the mind and consumes within his conscious and subconscious areas many thousands of concepts. No person is exactly the same as another in this respect. The Self within knows nothing of this, because it exists of itself. Wherever awareness flows through the totality of the mind, the Self is always the same. When individual awareness turns inward, it is possible to contact the light radiations within the lotus of the heart; it then is possible to fully realize Satchidananda. It is useless to think about the Self, because it does not exist in the area of the mind where thoughts are. If you were to think about it, you would only become aware of concepts within the mind, and that would take you away from it. It is also useless to talk about the Self, really, in your efforts to realize it, because when you do, again you take awareness deep into the conceptual area of the mind, which is further away from your real, self-effulgent being.

The first step is to try to feel the subtlety within you. The light within the lotus of the heart comes from someplace, doesn’t it? Let us think about it in this way. Each time you take a breath, you bring yourself a little closer, you turn yourself within just a little bit more and release a little bit of actinic energy emanating from the self-effulgent being residing within your heart. This energy is called life. We say, “This is my life.” If you stop breathing, the life in your body stops. We have to use willpower to control the breath. When we do control the breath, we begin to have an immense control, and awareness begins to become detached from that which it is aware of. This means that we’re consciously conscious of what we are aware of, that we are aware. We control our individual awareness more than we realize when we practice the regulation and control of breath. For instance, as we breathe, pranayama, in on nine counts, hold one, out on nine counts, hold one, we find that we begin to become more alert, more alive. Our awareness is more subtle and refined.

The emanation of the light that wells from within the lotus of the heart is always there, regardless of what you do. You may not be aware of the existence of it, but it does exist. You may not care to realize it, but it still exists. When man does not wish to look for the Self God, it is only because his awareness is busy in other areas of the mind, concerned with desires, and he is on the road to fulfill them. The fulfillment of desires causes reactionary conditions within the subconscious mind itself and clouds vision. This causes what is known as the darkness of the mind. When man wishes and desires to find his true Self, his external desires fall in line with basic religious codes for living, and he then is on the path. He is able to realize the essence of each desire on the path of enlightenment, and is able to sense Reality within himself.

A beautiful practice is to try to sit quietly, visualizing within the lotus within the heart a light, a strong light emanating clearly, a light that is always there. This light is radiating at a higher vibration than any form with which you are familiar. Let us say, if you were to have this light in your hand and were able to use it in the external world, each form you turned it upon would disappear under the vibration of the light itself. That is as powerful as the effulgent light emanating from the Self, the all-pervasive Divinity, which you will see within the lotus of the heart.

The mind, or consciousness, is form with intense vibrations and lesser vibrations, all interrelating. When we are happy and joyous, we are aware of the refined states of consciousness. But when we are not happy or joyous, we are living in the grosser, darker areas of consciousness. We have all lived in the gross area of consciousness, and we have all lived in the happy, joyous areas of consciousness. This is the evolution of man’s individual awareness.

Man, awareness, seeks happiness, and when he finds happiness, he often finds fault with it, and then he becomes aware in unhappy areas of the mind. This gives him the power to seek happiness again. Man finds fault with happiness and begins to look for something better. In looking for something better, he becomes selfish, greedy, unhappy, and finally he attains what he thinks will make him happy. He finds that it does not, and this makes him again unhappy, and he goes on through life like this. That is the cycle of awareness traveling through the instinctive-intellectual areas of the mind. Therefore, when you are unhappy, don’t feel unhappy about it! And when you become happy, know that the pendulum of awareness will eventually swing to its counter side. This is the natural and the normal cycle of awareness.

When you are feeling unhappy and you feel unhappy because you are unhappy, and you feel rather ill all over, sit down and breathe deeply. Try to control your individual awareness and become aware of an area of the mind that is always buoyant and happy. Be gentle with your awareness. Realize that you are not the unhappy area of the mind that you are aware of. Whatever was the cause of your unhappiness doesn’t really matter, because the powerful radiance within the lotus of the heart knows nothing of this unhappy area of the mind. You will be surprised at how quickly your awareness will move from the unhappy area of the mind, seemingly rejuvenate itself and become joyous again at the very thought of the Self God within the lotus of your heart.

There are many things in life which endeavor to keep us away from our true being. These are the cycles of life. We must watch and be careful of these recurring cycles in our life. These joyous and sorrowful occurrences that awareness experiences, sometimes each day, sometimes each week, sometimes each month, are totally dependent upon the positive control that we have of awareness. But then there are greater experiences that have even longer cycles–perhaps a three-year cycle, a five-year cycle, a ten-year cycle or a fifteen-year cycle.

How do you avoid unhappy states of mind? By consciously flowing awareness into the radiance, the light emanating from the self-effulgent being within the lotus of the heart. Direct awareness through controlled breathing. Remembering this basic principle, tell yourself that it is there, and soon you will begin to feel it. You will actually cause to grow within yourself a subtle nerve force that will turn awareness into the inner being so that consciously you can feel the Self God, your Divinity, and its emanation that even now exists within you. In this way you can experience true bliss, true happiness–blissful happiness that does not cycle or fade.

One moment of contact with your inner being that resides within the lotus of the heart, that is always there–one moment will clear up a whole situation in the external area of the mind for you. It will give you clear insight into how you should live your life, how to meet your circumstances, how to avoid whatever you do not want to find yourself involved in as the cycles of your life begin to repeat themselves.

This self-luminous emanation is like a diamond that is filled with light. Think about it in that way. It is filled with light, this diamond that resides within the lotus of your heart. Try to visualize this clearly and precisely as you read. Visualization of inner things is the same as opening an inner door for awareness to flow through to gain the experience that is already there. Visualization helps to pinpoint awareness and hold awareness concentrated in one certain area of the mind and gently move it to another. With this shining diamond constantly within the body, how could you become aware of an unhappy area of the mind? How could you become selfish? How could you hold resentment? How would it be possible for you to dislike another? This diamond within the lotus is within others, too.

How are we going to master awareness so that it does not feel that it is what it is aware of? We have to pull awareness within, to the more refined areas of the mind. This is called going within yourself. You have to temporarily gain enough composure, enough control over awareness, so that in thirty seconds you can pull within yourself and, in a sense, light up because you become a little bit aware of the existence of the inner light. Now, of course, if we are pressured by desires that conflict with basic religious principles, it will be difficult even to become aware of or to even think about the inner light. It’s easy, though, to find the darkness of the mind.

But if desires are flowing in accordance with the proper, basic action-and-reaction patterns of life, and one is living up to what he knows he should be living up to and allows the awareness to flow through unwholesome areas of the mind, he begins to hurt deeply on the inside. That is the so-called conscience hurting, because the light shines through the conscience, too, and makes the conscience self-luminous to us. We cannot see the light, but we can feel it. And when awareness flows into the consciousness of bliss and peace, you won’t hurt anymore on the inside. The nerve system will be filled with a new energy, an actinic energy radiating out of the light from the lotus within the heart. Then you will be happy and joyous until awareness wanders again and brings up other emotional or desire temptations. Then you will hurt again. This is what is meant by the statement “constant striving on the path”–staying mentally healthy so that the conscience does not hurt.

The Self God is within you. The light emanating from your effulgent being is within you, too, within the lotus of your heart. The Self God is. It simply is. We do not have to awaken the light within the lotus of the heart because it is always there, always has been, and always will be. We just have to become aware of it. Then go in and in and in to it until awareness aware only of itself dissolves, and be the Self. Be That.

The subconscious area of the mind is something like the sacred cow of India. It relives what it takes in. The cow will take in grass and chew it, and then she will chew her food all over again at a later time. The subconscious area of the mind does the same thing. You will find yourself aware of reliving your life, or getting back into the same cycle of the same pattern of life that you experienced many years ago. This you want to avoid, naturally. It is easy. Ponder over what you are doing now, how you are living, and then go back and find out within yourself how that compares to a previous time in your life when you were living more or less in the same way. In this way, you will come to know what area of the mind you will become aware in next.

If something good happened to you after a series of events in the past, you can expect something good to happen to you again. If something happened that was not as good or joyous as you would like it to have been, then you can know that you will become aware in this area of the mind in the future. This you can avoid. You have the power to control your cause and effect. --BY SATGURU SIVAYA SUBRAMUNIYASWAMI Heart of Buddha - Talon Abraxas

[dhmis-autism]

My headcannon is that Duck has been in a state of awareness throughout the series much like Yellow was in Electricity, the visual tell for this bring their big ass eyes. Yellow's enlarged sclera is obvious because his eyes are radiation green. Duck's eyes are brown so they just look like slightly bigger black dots than the others. What I'm getting at is Duck has some awareness. He's just naturally deranged.

HAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! okay! from MY POV, the idea of Duck having any awareness about their situation at all is so fucked up.

The pupil thing could be a good way to hide it, and totally a route I could see BB&J (becky,baker and joe) taking, realistically. He also does just have MASSIVE pupils.

Anyways, the reason that ideas super duper fucked up to me is because um… well one of Ducks main motivators in like EVERY episode is just keeping the three of them together. Even in eps like Jobs or Family where they're separated, he spends all his energy and spare thoughts on the other two (where are they, what are they doing, who are they talking to, ect). Now I assumed this was because their little trio-ship is the ONLY thing in that house that matters to him or that he even remotely cares about.

But sure, let's get meta with it and say for the sake of argument that Duck has been FULLY aware of the fact that they're in a forever looping TV show and that theyre puppets.

That makes some lines like "That's not allowed (in reference to going outside of the house)!" and "People are dying to know what your final guess would have been." a lot more … explainable I guess? But it also makes his weird dedication to keeping the three of them together undeniably sinister (e.g is he doing this bc he knows who Lesley is or something?? Is he doing this bc he's aware theres nothing for them OUTSIDE of this house??). It means it's not that he tries to keep them together BECAUSE he cares about them, he tries to keep them together for the sake of the keeping the SHOW GOING.

It also means he is WELL AWARE that the other two are miserable in that house and just DOES NOT CARE, because he thinks the three of them being together is better than the alternative. It also would kind of paint the "I like looking at you too" scene in a bit of a different light,no? For all we know, he could be referring to Red (the puppet) as opposed to Red (the character).

I don't even think him being aware would make him… deranged, I think it would literally just make him ACTUALLY irredeemable. Which I'm fine with! Best boy either way! A character doesn't have to be morally sound for me to like this, just interesting. But like. think about the implications of what you're saying here.