#totally not inspired by that fletcher song

[prettyypenguin]

Someone fuck me on the counter before you cook me dinner

[4stars-uswnt]

If I Hated You [Alex Morgan x Reader]

requested by anon: Hey I love your works!! I was wondering if you could do a fic based on fletcher’s new song ‘if I hated you’ with Alex x reader, if possible with an eventual happy ending? If not I totally understand but thank you so much for all the fics you’ve shared and done for us.

requested by @eclipses77​: Hey I was wondering if you could write a fix based off Fletcher’s new song ‘If I Hated You’ with any person you want but with a happy ending if possible.

A/N: thank you to both of you who requested this! and to the anon: i’m so glad you enjoy my fics. i have a great time writing them for you guys. 

this isn’t really a song fic with lyrics and everything. it’s mainly just inspired Fletcher’s song, so i hope y’all still enjoy it anyways :) also i may have gotten a little carried away with it.

ps. thanks to @sauceysonny​ for talking through this prompt with me and letting me rant through my ideas

warnings: swearing

Listen to “If I Hated You” by Fletcher here

You throw the sheets off your body for what feels like the hundredth time that night. You had been tossing and turning, unable to sleep with the other side of the bed being so empty. You reach for your phone to check the time. 2:13 am. The photo on the lock screen makes your heartache. It was a photo of you and Alex that Kelley had captured in the locker room after the World Cup, your foreheads pressed together, oblivious to the rest of the world. Shutting your phone off, you turn over and stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out how you’d gotten here.

—————

“I can’t wait to see you this weekend.” You chirp, smiling at your girlfriend through your computer screen. There had been a week break in the NWSL season, so Alex had decided to visit you up in Seattle for a couple of days.

Alex gives you a sheepish look. Being able to read your girlfriend like a book, you feel yourself deflate with defeat.

“You’re not coming, are you?”

“Babe, I’m sorry. I have to go to LA for some meetings with the Olympics committee and with Angel City. I am so sorry.” Alex apologizes.

Her apologies felt useless at this point, as your girlfriend was always cancelling on you, putting you second. You look down at your hands, ignoring Alex’s gaze.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I’ve been really busy lately.” She tries again, hoping to get a response out of you.

“You’re always busy, Al.” You mumble.

“I know, babe, and I’m sorry, but there’s not a lot I can do about it.” Alex defends.

You roll your eyes, annoyed at your girlfriend’s excuses. “Yes, Alex, there is something you can do about it. You can tell them that you already have plans. Or that you have to go visit your girlfriend, who you haven't seen in almost two months. Or that they can fucking wait because Angel City isn’t happening for another year and the Olympics aren’t for another eight fucking years.”

Alex sits on the other side of the screen stunned by your outburst. In your arguments, you were usually the calmer one, Alex being the one with the temper, but you just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

You sigh, tired of fighting with the other woman. “Al, maybe we should just take a break.”

“What?” Alex sits up at that, leaning closer to the screen.

“Look, I know we love each other and everything, but recently it just feels like our relationship is strained by the distance and all of our commitments.”

“You mean my commitments.” Alex countered.

“I didn’t say that, Alex. Stop putting words in my mouth. We are both to blame here. I just feel like we need some time to ourselves to figure out what we want from this relationship.”

Your heart aches, as the words leave your mouth, and as you see tears form in Alex’s eyes.

“Are you sure? Because I don’t wanna take a break.” She whispered.

“Al, I don’t wanna take a break either, but all we’ve been doing lately is arguing, and I just think we should take a little time to evaluate our own lives.” You feel tears pooling in your eyes.

“Okay, if that’s what you want, love.” Alex nods, wiping her face.

“I think it’s what we need.” You swallow the knot in your throat. “This isn’t the end, Al.”

“It better not be.” She lets out a watery chuckle, and you fondly smile.

“See you later, Ali-gator.”

Alex smiled at your nickname for her. The two of you vowed you would never actually say ‘goodbye’ to each other because you always knew you’d see each other again.

“See you in a while, crocodile.”

—————

That conversation was almost two weeks ago, and since then, you had been an absolute mess. Although you were used to being alone in Seattle, being on a break from your relationship made you feel even more lonely. In the past couple of weeks, you had barely left your apartment, only going out for training, games, and the necessary grocery shopping.

Your phone had been blowing up with text messages from your national team teammates, who were all concerned about you after hearing the news. Not bothering to give any of them any details, you responded to the group chat with an ‘I’m fine, you guys. Please respect me and Alex’s privacy.’ Alex soon replied, adding ‘What (Y/N) said. We love you guys, but we need to work through this ourselves.’ Both of your texts received many hearts and likes, following with ‘We’re here’ and ‘Love you guys’ from the women, and the texts stopped after that.

In Orlando, Alex hadn’t been faring any better. After returning from LA, she spent most of her time moping around her house in sweatpants and a hoodie she’d stolen from you. Ali, Ash, and Syd would all stop by or invite her over to cheer her up, but Alex was heartbroken without you.

—————

The next morning, after having gone to bed at around 3 am, you slip on a pair of shorts and one of Alex’s Cal hoodies and drag yourself to training.

As you walk into the locker room, Allie and Megan exchange a look of concern, noticing the bags under your eyes and your hood pulled over your head. Your two national team teammates had been worried about you for the past couple of months, even more so in the recent weeks when you and Alex had decided to take a break. They knew the distance was causing you stress, and now the separation was causing you heartbreak. But every time either woman tried to approach the subject, you shut them out, insisting you were okay, when you clearly were not.

Towards the end of practice, after another one of your passes goes awry, Farid calls you over.

“(Y/N), you doing okay?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed. He had heard the whispers in the locker room, your teammates voicing their concerns, and he could tell something was bothering you, so much so it was disrupting your play.

“Yes, coach.”

Not wanting to push you, he hums. “Okay, then you better start playing like you’re doing okay.”

You nod, embarrassed by your own unprofessionalism. “Of course, coach, sorry.”    

He blows the whistle, ending practice, and you scurry back to the locker room.

Back in the locker room, as you’re taking off your cleats and packing up your bag, Allie slips into the seat next to you.

“(Y/N), you wanna come over later?” Allie places a hand on your knee. “We’re having a barbecue. Megan and Sue will also be there.”

You snort. “And be a fifth wheel? I’m good, Allie, but thanks for the invite.”

“(Y/N),” she starts again, “even though I’m Alex’s best friend doesn’t mean I don’t care about you either. Megan and I, and the whole team really, are here if you ever wanna talk.”

“Thanks, Allie.” You smile, as you stand up, swinging your backpack over your shoulder. “Maybe I’ll stop by for a little bit.”

“Awesome.”

—————

Later than evening, you made your way over to Allie and Bati’s place, ultimately deciding that being a fifth wheel was better than sitting at your apartment alone with another box of takeout.

You enter through the side gate, heading into the backyard, where Bati is barbecuing and Megan, Allie, and Sue are chatting around the table. Hearing you open the gate, Bati looks up from the grill.

“Hey! Look who made it!” He gives you a big grin, opening his arm up for a side hug, which you accept.

“Hey, Jose. Thanks for having me.” You softly smile.

“Of course, (Y/N).”

“Aye! (Y/N)! Get your butt over here!” Megan calls from across the yard, waving you over.

“The queen is calling, so I must go.” You joke, making your way over to the table.

“(Y/N/N), I’m glad you could make it.” Allie gives you a brief hug. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Water would be great.” You thank her, before turning to Megan and Sue.

“Long time no see, Birdie. Good game the other day. You played, eh, okay.” You smirk at the basketball player, who just rolls her eyes.

“It’s good to see you too, (Y/N/N). Thanks. A triple double is okay. But I dunno if I could say the same about you. I hear you’re not playing like the superstar you are.” Sue teases, resulting in a slap from Megan, who gives her girlfriend a warning glare.

You ignore the pink-haired woman and the ache in your chest. “Just having a couple of bad practices. I’ll be tearing up the field in no time.” You boast flippantly.

Seeing past your confident facade, Megan narrows her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay, (Y/N)?”

“P, I’ve told you a million times. I’m fine.” You give her a tight smile, silently telling her you don’t want to talk about it.

Before Megan can ask you anymore questions, Allie and Bati approach the table with plates of food in their hands.

“Time to eat!” Allie cheers. “Oh, and, (Y/N), here’s your water.”

You mutter out a ‘thanks’, and take a large gulp, pushing down the knot forming in your throat.

—————

Dinner went smoothly the five of you discussing an array of topics, ranging from the upcoming NWSL and WNBA season to the election to the newest Italian restaurant that opened downtown.

By the time you all are finished eating, it’s dark out, leaving only the fairy lights to illuminate the yard. You go to clear your plate, but before you can stand up, Bati grabs it from you.

“Don’t worry, (Y/N/N). I got this.” He motions for you to sit back down, before reaching to collect the rest of the plates. “Why don’t I clean up and leave you ladies to chat?” Bati quickly pecks Allie’s cheek, before heading back inside.

Once it is just the four of you, Megan turns to you.

“(Y/N), seriously, how are you feeling?”

You internally groan. You should’ve known this was gonna turn into an intervention. Before you go to respond, the older forward continues.

“And don’t give me that ‘I’m fine. I’m good’ bullshit.” She raises her eyebrow, daring you to challenge her. “Because obviously you’re not fine, and you’re not good. For the past two weeks all you’ve been doing is moping around your apartment, wearing nothing but sweats. You’ve barely eaten an actual meal until today, nor gotten a good night’s sleep. And to top it all of you’ve been playing like crap!”

Sue hits Megan’s arm and scolds her. “Megan!”

The pink-haired woman faces to her girlfriend. “No! I’m not going to sugar coat it. (Y/N) needs to hear this, and she needs to talk about.” Megan turns back to you and softens. “(Y/N/N), you can’t keep bottling up all your feelings. We care about you, and we’re here to listen, so please talk to us.”

Both Allie and Sue nod along with Pinoe’s words.

“Honestly,” you take a deep breath, before starting, “I’m a mess. Like before, I was annoyed and angry that Al was making me a second priority, but now I’m just sad and heartbroken that she’s not here with me.” You finally confess to the other women, feeling like a weight has been lifted off your chest. “And, I mean, I didn’t want to take a break, but our relationship just felt strained. Like we weren’t communicating, and I think the distance was getting the best of us, especially with all of our commitments. I don’t know. Do you guys think I made the right decision?”

Not knowing what to say, the three woman look at each other, searching for answers. Finally, Sue speaks up.

“(Y/N), none of us can know if you made the right decision.” She reaches to squeeze your hand. “Only you and Alex can know what’s right for yourselves and your relationship.”

You nod in understanding. “I love her so much, and I wish we could just be together because all I want is to be by her side.” You whisper, your eyes getting misty. “Ugh, I just miss her so much.”

“I miss you, too.”

You whip your head around. There, in all her glory, stood Alex Morgan. She doesn’t look any better than you, your Reign sweatshirt hiding her muscular frame and dark circles forming under her eyes. Your lips part, as you’re completely speechless.

“You’re car wasn’t in your lot, so I assumed you were either here or at Pinoe’s. This was my first stop, and here you are.” Alex shifts uncomfortably in the silence, her usual confidence faded.

You turn back to face Allie, Megan, and Sue, your eyes narrowing. “Did you three know about this?”

“No!” They all exclaim, Megan holding up her hands in innocence. You continue to stare at Allie, not convinced she had no part in this.

“I swear, (Y/N), I had no idea about this.” She insists, as you relent your accusatory glare.

“(Y/N),” Alex comes up from behind you, “they had nothing to do with this, so please don’t be mad at them. I came here all on my own because I wanted to talk to you. I needed to see you.”

You nod. “Ok.”

“So, can we talk?” She sheepishly asks. “Alone, if that’s okay with you?” She adds, pleading her friends to leave you two to talk.

The three women take the cue and head back inside, leaving you alone with Alex, who sits in Pinoe’s seat across from you.

You sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, neither of you knowing where to start.

You decide to break the silence. “How’ve you been?”

She looks up from her fidgeting hands. “Uhh. Good. I’ve been good.”

You smirk, raising your eyebrow. “Al, c’mon, I know you like the back of my hand. How have you actually been?”

Alex sighs. “To be honest, I’ve been miserable.” She looks up, locking eyes with you. “I missed you, and I just wanted be with you, or even just hear your voice.”

You nod, knowing the feeling. “I missed you too, Al.”

“But you were right.” She confesses, as you tilt your head, confused. “We, or at least I, needed this break. It helped me realize what was important in my life, and that’s you, (Y/N). I can live without all those brand deals and sponsors, hell, I can even live without soccer, because none of that means anything if I can’t share it with you.”

By that point, both you openly had tears streaming down your faces.

“So, I promise to be better and to be more committed to our relationship. And I’m sorry that I ever put you as a second priority because you’re not. You’re my number one.” Alex concludes, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

You let out a small chuckle at her cheesiness. “Thank you for your apology.” You take her hand. “And I’m sorry that didn’t make enough of an effort either.” Before Alex can protest, you squeeze her hand. “Al, a relationship is between two people. This wasn’t just your fault, okay? We both played a part.” You assure, quelling her guilt.

“So can we end this break and be back together?” Alex whispers hesitantly.

Beaming, you pull her in for a searing kiss, your first in almost three months. Her soft lips melt against yours, and you could taste the sweetness of her vanilla chapstick mixed with the saltiness of her tears. Before you could deepen the kiss, you hear Allie call from inside.

“No sex in my yard please!”

You rest your head on Alex’s shoulder, as the two of you laugh at your friend’s antics. Your girlfriend caresses your cheek, guiding you to lock eyes with her pleading blue orbs.

“Do you forgive me?”  

You nod. “Yes, Al, I forgive you.”

“Good. I thought you hated me.” She mumbles.

“I could never hate you, even if I tried.”

Alex smiles, leaning in for another kiss, before you hold up your hand.

“But, Al, your words are nice and all, but I have to see it. You have to prove to me that you’re committed to this relationship, especially if it’s long distance. And I will work to do the same. Okay?”

“Of course, (Y/N/N).” She nods her head eagerly. “So, I’m guessing it’s okay if I stayed here with you in Seattle for the next week?”

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“They had to cancel training and matches for the next week because of some flooding issues at the facilities. So I’m all yours until next Sunday. That is, if you’ll have me.”

You jump off your seat and into Alex’s lap, pulling her in for another kiss. “Who am I to refuse such a pretty lady?” You tease, giving her nose a kiss.

“Alex and (Y/N) sitting in a tree…!” Allie sings, as her, Megan, and Sue approach the two of you.

“I take it you two made up?” Megan gestures to your position in Alex’s lap.

“Yes, we made up.” You grin, as your girlfriend kiss the top of your head.

“Good. I’m glad.” She returns a smile, and you mouth a ‘thank you’ to her.

“Me too.” Alex beams, turning to look at you. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You bring her in for a sweet chaste kiss.

“Hey! What did I say about no sex in my yard!” Allie playfully scolds.

“It’s not my fault (Y/N) can’t keep her hands off me.” Alex smirks.

You gasp, jumping out of your girlfriend’s laugh. “Hey!”

“I’m only kidding, babe.” She rolls her eyes, pulling you back into her lap.

You cross your arms and pout. “I hate you.”

Alex chuckles, as she buries her face in your neck, giving you a kiss. “No you don’t.”

You smile, turning to the woman you love, and give her a quick peck. “You’re right. I don’t.”

[ghive]

mango tea (three chords part two) ⋆ shawn mendes x reader

three chords inspired by because i had you by shawn mendes

a/n: and here we are, the not-so-long-awaited sequel to three chords! honestly when i wrote it i had no intention of writing a part two, but i live to serve i guess. it’s quite a bit shorter than part one but no less interesting, in my opinion, so buckle up. feel free to ask questions about why i did things a certain way or my writing in general because i’m more than happy to answer!

i don’t currently have a taglist, but if you want to be added, you can send me an ask here

warnings: angst, swearing

word count: 1.7k

playlist

stay ⋆ gracie abrams

act like you love me ⋆ shawn mendes

driver’s license ⋆ olivia rodrigo

still ⋆ niall horan

if i hated you ⋆ fletcher

***

it’s been a long day, to say the least, and you’re completely okay with the idea of falling asleep and never waking up. that’s exactly what you’re preparing for, actually, curled up with the softest blanket you own on the worn sofa, tv remote in hand. you flip through the channels, not really paying attention to the quiet noise coming from the speakers in your otherwise silent apartment.

your roommate tried to get you to go out with her and some friends, but she hadn’t ever been too pushy; especially since you’ve gone through two breakups in the span of six months, one being the ending of a long-term relationship. you’re glad she left you alone, but you’re even more glad that you have time for yourself, just to think.

you’ve been doing a lot of that lately, thinking. thinking about what would’ve happened if shawn hadn’t said that on the phone, if you hadn’t overheard, if it hadn’t fueled your insecurities and ultimately caused the end of your relationship. you miss him all the time, but you’re determined to work on yourself and grow personally. it’s time to finally be healthy, you think, and that starts with a nice, long nap.

that is, until a light knock sounds from the door. you wouldn’t have heard it if you hadn’t been secretly hoping to hear from someone other than your roommate, who would’ve just walked in. you grumble in your half-asleep state when you stand from the couch, the soft cushions bouncing below you as you rise to your feet. you pull your cardigan tighter around your body, standing still for a moment when you reach the door to rub your eyes.

they’re still slightly closed when you open the door, muttering a questioning, “hello?”

“hi,” the person in front of you breathes out, the familiar voice rushing to your brain.

you swear you’ve never opened your eyes so quickly.

there he is, disheveled and slouched over, but so, so relieved. he hadn’t expected you’d actually answer the door. you’re still speechless when he speaks again. “i know this is borderline stalkerish, but amir gave me your address and i really needed to see you,” he sighs with a slight smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

your jaw is slack for another moment before you finally speak. “uhm, i, uh, shawn.” confusion crosses your features when you stutter out your jumbled thoughts. “it’s been six months.”

“i know, i know but please, just hear me out,” he pleads, almost desperately.

“come in, then. and tell amir that i have some things to say to him next time we see each other!” you turn around, leading him into your home. he only chuckles. you enter the small kitchen, turning on the overhead light before leaning back against the countertop.

“welcome to my humble abode,” you laugh at the small space, suddenly self-conscious. “it’s obviously not as big as your condo, but-“

“no, it’s perfect. it’s very you,” he smiles, glancing around the room.

“thanks,” you mumble shyly, before speaking up again. “do you want tea?”

“do you have the mango stuff?”

“i might still have some,” you reply, rummaging through the cupboards. “ i think i brought it with me when i moved out of your place.” the tension thickened at the mention of you leaving, and honestly, you can’t believe you’ve gotten this far without bursting out into tears. 

maybe that’s why your head is stuffed in the cupboard you know doesn’t have mango tea in it, just so you don’t have to look at him. you haven’t gotten any of the tea since you moved in, since you left, for that matter, but you haven’t let it leave its place at the back of the cupboard. while it may seem that it’s just tea, it’s all you’ve had left of him that’s yours and yours alone.

“so, shawn,” you clear your throat, easily grabbing the tea from its place in a different cabinet. “what’s up?”

he’s silent for a minute, watching as you turn on the kettle. he’s looking down when he speaks again, “i miss you. i know you have a boyfriend, but i really do.” he looks up at you with wide eyes, the warm brown colour filling your vision.

you laugh, turning back to face the counter. “you basically wrote an entire album about it,” you pour the hot water over the teabags in your ceramic mugs. “i’m not sure you could’ve been less subtle. besides, we broke up a couple weeks ago.” you look at him over your shoulder with a shy smile.

“i’m sorry.”

“don’t be, it’s not like i’ve never gone through a breakup before,” you assure, a slight tone of sadness present in your voice. you walk over to him, a mug of tea in each hand.

“y/n come on, please don’t be like that,” he sighs, taking a mug from your hand. he’s never liked to see you upset, and this is no different.

“like what, shawn? hurt? sad? conflicted?” you look at him with glossy eyes, and he can see the disconnect. you’re simultaneously so close and so far away from him and yourself. it’s hard for him to see you like this -  even harder knowing that he caused it.

you sit down on one of the round barstools, looking up at him while he stares down into his mug. “thanks for the tea,” he smiles forcefully, eyes flickering up then back down.

“it’s no problem.”

the room falls silent again, the only sounds the soft passes of your breathing. you’re not sure what to say, and you’re about to ask if shawn wants to take his tea with him when he breaks the silence.

“i love you,” he says, surprising himself with the firmness he speaks with. you’re surprised too, your breath catching in your chest, looking at him, bewildered.

“no, shawn, i- you can’t. you can’t love me.” you shake your head.

“i do!”

“no! if you love me now, you would’ve loved me six months ago,” you sob, tears finally running down your face.

“but i did. i did love you and i haven’t stopped. i never stopped loving you, y/n,” he tells you, walking over to your spot at the counter. he brushes his thumbs against your cheeks, the fresh tears running slowly down his hands.

“i’m sorry, shawn, i really can’t do this. not after everything you’ve done.” you push him away gently, sliding off the stool.

“what do you mean, ‘everything i’ve done’?” he asks with furrowed brows.

“the album, shawn! every single song on that album, your album, taunted me like i was the one who fucked up. you fell out of love with me shawn, you can’t release an album full of old love songs and expect me to beg for your forgiveness. i never wanted to leave you, but i wanted you to be happy. why couldn’t you just let yourself move on like you so desperately wanted to?” you cry, breaking his heart even more than you already had.

“i told you, i never fell out of love with you! i never wanted to move on, i wanted to fix us!” he exclaims, the hurt turning into anger.

“well that turned out fucking great! now we’re standing here in my kitchen, brokenhearted, at 9 pm on a saturday because of it!” you yell back, trying not to be too loud for the sake of your neighbours.

“i don’t know what to tell you, y/n,” he says, the initial rage bubbling back down.

“obviously you do since you showed up here in the first place!” your tea’s abandoned on the countertop, and all of the frustration you’ve been holding in for the past six months is flying out of you. while you’re sure you’ll regret all of this in the morning, you can’t bring yourself to care.

your cheeks are flushed and your breathing’s heavy, you’re more angry than shawn’s ever seen you. he hates this too, he just hates when you’re not happy, and he hates that you’re not his anymore.

“y/n, it’s always been you, i promise. i was stupid and i made a mistake. i’m so sorry.” he wants to make you look him in the eyes and see the sincerity floating behind them, he wants you to believe him and every word that he’s saying, but he won’t, and he doesn’t.

“you made a mistake and you broke me, shawn. i’m sick and tired of being so lonely but i can’t find the will to change. i don’t want to feel like this, but i can’t go back to you,” you breathe out, your voice lowering to almost a whisper.

“i never wanted to hurt you,” his voice is almost as low, but just as full of emotion.

“i know,” you smile, and for the first time in a while, it’s almost genuine. “i don’t hate you shawn, i never could. and i don’t want you to think that this has been easy for me either, because honestly, these last few months have been some of the worst of my life. when i walked out of that apartment i walked out on my best friend, and i am sorry.”

“please don’t apologize, it’s my fault, i know,” he says sheepishly.

“you’re right, it is your fault,” you reply with a giggle.

“well, uhm, now that i know you don’t hate me, this’ll be a lot less awkward.” his eyes scan over your face, trying his best to read your emotions.

you laugh again, “it’s already awkward, shawn. what are you doing?”

“please, please just let me hold you,” he pleads, his eyes staring into yours.

“what?”

“i just- i don’t know or care what happens when i leave, but i need to be close to you. i’m not ready to lose you, y/n. i can’t lose you. this is painfully awkward, i know, but i promise i’ll shut up if you let me have you for a bit. or i’ll just leave, if you’d rather, which i can totally do-”

a small smile paints across your face at his rambling as you cut him off. “no! no, shawn, please don’t leave.”

[nessafms]

new  york’s  very  own  NESSA  LOCKE  was  spotted  on  broadway  street  in  𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓶𝔂  𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸  𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓪  𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻  𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓵  𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓼  .  your  resemblance  to  kylie  jenner  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  have  your  twenty  two  birthday  bash  .  while  living  in  nyc  ,  you’ve  been  labeled  as  being  finicky  ,  but  also  alluring  .  i  guess  being  a  scorpio  explains  that  .  3  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  expensive  diamonds  clinging  to  delicate  fingers  ,  makeup  swatches  on  tan  skin , &  wine  induced  giggles  .

GREETINGS  ,   cuties  .   i’m  gi  ,  9teen  ,  and  go  by  she  and  her  pronouns  .  i  kind  of  suck  at  introductions  ?  so  please  excuse  all  of  the  rambling  and  unnecessary  comments  that  are  throughout  this  .   nessa  is  kind  of  my  baby  ?  so  im  super  super  excited  to  bring  her  into  this  group  and  play  her  once  again  and  even  more  excited  to  write  with  all  of  you  !!!!!!   everything  you  need  to  know  about  her  is  under  the  cut  ,  and  if  you  want  to  plot  please  give  this  a  heart  and  we  can  do  so  (  or  message  me  on  discord  ,  𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲#1776  )

*  basics 

FULL  NAME.  nessa  ryan  locke  .

NAME  MEANING.   pure  ,  holy  ;  butterfly  . 

REASONING.   it  was  suppose  to  be  vanessa  but  somehow  ended  up  being  just  nessa  by  the  time  she  was  actually  born  .

NICKNAMES.   ness  ,  nessy  .

PREFERRED  NAME.  ness  and/or  nessa  .

BIRTH  DATE.   november  third  ,  nineteen  ninety  eight  .

AGE.  twenty  two  .

ZODIAC.  scorpio  .

GENDER.  cis  female  .

PRONOUNS.  she  and  her  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION.  heterosexual  .

CURRENT  LOCATION.   moved  to  new  york  city  at  the  age  of  nineteen  ,  (  click  here  to  see  her  residence  ) .

PLACE  OF  BIRTH.  los  angeles   ,  california  .

HOMETOWN.   los  angeles  ,  california  .

FATHER.  jared  locke  ,  actor  .

MOTHER.   jillian  locke  ,  former  model  .

SIBLINGS.   nirvana  locke  ,  emerson  locke  .

BIRTH  ORDER.  youngest  .

PETS.  wolfie  ,  husky  .

HAIR  COLOR.   originally  a  black  color  ,  though  it  tends  to  go  from  black  to  a  light  brown  and/or  a  blonde  color  . 

EYE  COLOR.  brown  ,  but  she  takes  pride  in  the  small  specks  of  green  .

DOMINANT  HAND.  right  .

HEIGHT.  five  ft  six  .

TATTOOS.   nessa  has  five  tattoo’s  all  together  ,  the  first  one  being  something  that  resembles  the  fire  emoji  on  her  right  inner  hip  she  got  with  her  group  of  friends  .   she  has  a  rose  on  the  left  side  of  her  boob  ,  which  she  got  strictly  because  she  thought  it  was  pretty  .   she  has  two  butterflies  behind  her  left  ear  ,  a  smiley  face  on  her  right  upper  butt  cheek  ,  and  finally  the  words  ,  ‘  take  care  ‘  tattooed  on  her  right  arm .  

PIERCINGS.   she  has  five  holes  on  her  right  ear  and  seven  holes  on  her  left  ear  .  

DRUGS  /  ALCOHOL  /  SMOKING.  no  (  beside  smoking  weed  here  and  there )    ,  yes  ,  no  .  

SOUNDTRACK.   self  care  ,  mac  miller  .   angel  ,  the  weeknd  .  fetish  ,  selena  gomez  .  bitter  ,  fletcher  .  july  ,  noah  cyrus  .  bad  news  ,  kehlani  .   after  hours  ,  the  weeknd  .   needy  ,  ariana  grande  .   save  myself  ,  ed  sheeran .  p*$$y  fairy  ,  jhene  aiko  .  girls  in  the  hood  ,  megan  thee  stallion  .  

AESTHETICS.   emerald  hues  forming  into  a  distant  memory  ,   soft  laughter  in  the  dead  of  the  night  ,  luxurious  material  clinging  to  honeyed  skin  ,   tired  hues  ,   the  glow  of  neon  lights  lightening  up  a  dark  room  .  

LINKS.  here’s  her  pinterest  !! 

FUN  FACTS.   she  has  a  three  year  old  husky  ,  whom  she  treats  as  though  she  carried  him  around  for  nine  months  .  she  has  a  obsession  with  acrylic  nails  ,  you  will  always  find  her  with  something  different  every  two  weeks  .  she  always  has  her  toes  painted  ,  usually  baby  something          baby  pink  ,  baby  blue  .   she  enjoys  switching  up  her  look  which  includes  hair  changes  whether  it  be  sporting  a  wig  or  actually  dyeing  it  .  has  a  talent  of  painting  but  normally  doesn’t  have  the  time  or  inspiration  to  do  so  .  a  music  bug  ,  she  has  to  be  listening  to  tunes  if  she’s  cleaning  ,  cooking  ,  bathing  ...  hates  the  gym  more  then  anything  but  has  a  personal  trainer  (  she  spends  most  of  the  time  avoiding  )  to  kick  her  ass  in  shape  .  rarely  diets  and  with  this  she  has  a  bad  habit  of  eating  whatever  her  body  craves  .  she  loves  waffle  fries  ,  and  prefers  a  burger  over  a  chicken  sandwich  .   she  hates  neon  green  ,  don’t  fight  her  on  this  .  she’s  a  bit  of  a  car  junkie  and  constantly  purchases  them  despite  not  needing  to  .  her  worst  habit  is  online  shopping  ,  she  will  spend  thousand  of  dollars  at  ONE  store  .

*  background .

stranded at  the  age  of  five  ,  a  stuffed  elephant  in  hand  and  confusion  lingering  on  skin  .  only  small  glimpses  of  heart  felt  moments  to  ease  the  tears  .  one  moment  she  was  there  ,  and  the  next  she  somehow  slipped  through  the  cracks  .  not  even  the  power  of  hollywood  being  able  to  track  down  the  angelic  emerald  hued  model  .  instead  ,  her  father  had  to  wrap  his  arms  around  his  three  children  and  fabricate  a  story  that  would  not  shatter  their  delicate  hearts  .  but  the  damage  was  already  done  .

drenched  in  sovereignty  and  affluence  ,  the  privilege  of  being  privilege  had  always  been  a  reality  ,  even  before  the  disappearance  of  her  mother  .  a  celebrity  child  ,  grew  up  in  the  spotlight  and  had  ears  filled  with  comments  from  millions  who  did  not  know  her  .   not  a  sob  story  ,  unless  you  considered  her  mommy  issues  .  inherited  her  father’s  ambition  and  her  mom’s  trust  issues .  started  branding  herself  at  the  age  of  seventeen  ,  a  trend  setter  .  the  title  of  social  media  personality  was  granted  to  nessa  before  it  was  even  a  thing  ,  and  she  did  not  stop  there .   ventured  into  the  beauty  industry  ,  building  an  empire  from  top  to  bottom  .  and  eventually  even  created  a  fashion  line  with  her  older  sister  ,  even  after  all  the  red  warnings  .

but  the  finer  things  in  life  did  not  come  with  all  blessings  .   her  delicate  hands  drenched  in  cold  glue  ,  shattered  pieces  clinging  for  their  lives  with  expectations  of  being  put  back  together  again  .  adored  and  envied  by  the  world  ,  but  the  outside  looking  in  did  not  see  bent  back  constantly  picking  up  pieces  of  her  sisters  who  crumbled  with  even  the  softest  poke  .  addiction  controlling  every  aspect   of  her  sisters  lives  ,  and  the  relationship  she  shared  with  them  .  it’s  never  been  pretty  to  watch  the  ones  you  love  self  destruct  and  take  everything  you  love  and  trust  down  with  them  ..  hard  to  look  them  in  the  eyes  as  anger  and  heartache  consumes   you  .  and  even  harder  to  forgive  .  

forever  fighting  the  demons  her  mother  instored  in  her  ,  and  the  demons  her  sister’s  stir  up  .  her  only  breath  of  fresh  air  being  her  daddy  ,  and  the  way  he  always  has  her  back  (  no  favorites  are  played  but  we  all  know  )  ,  and  the  life  she  helped  build  for  herself  .  wants  to  be  rid  of  hands  that  hold  her  back  and  take  and  take  until  she  has  nothing  left  ,  and  instead  plunge  into  the  world  of  living  for  herself  and  new  york  city  granted  the  brunette  that  opportunity  .  

*  personality .

affection  sings  to  her  in  the  form  of  a  love  song  ,  her  love  language  .  digits  itch  to  hold  friends  hands  ,  and  lean  on  lovers  shoulders  .  uses  pet  names  like  her  vocabulary  only  consists  of  the  word  angel  and  baby  .  a  chatter  bug  that  hides  vulnerability  with  ebullience  and  teasing  manners  .  impulsiveness  that  jumps  out  at  all  the  wrong  times  ,  and  a  carelessness  that  teams  up  with  her  pettiness  to  make  all  the  wrong  choices  .  feels  replaceable  and  easily  disposable  ,  makes  her  fear  of  ever  letting  anyone  get  too  close  .  finicky  ,  hard  to  please  and  even  harder  to  totally  figure  out  ,  some  would  say  she’s  hot  and  cold  .  tries  to  stay  out  of  her  head  with  burying  herself  in  work  .  knows  how  it  feels  to  feel  like  you  are  nothing  ,  and  fills  that  whole  with  giving  back  as  much  as  she  can  .  silly  and  sometimes  ditzy  .  loves  too  hard  for  her  own  good  ,  and  has  a  bad  habit  of  letting  people  back  in  even  when  they  do  not  deserve  it  or  her  ..  has  a  softness that’s  desperate  to  escape  .   hates  love  because  she  understands  what  it  can  do  to  you  and  loves  just  as  much  for  the  same  reason  .  built  a  wall  around  her  heart  to  avoid  adding  any  more  scars  ,  and  will  save  you  before  she  saves  herself  .  holds  on  to  people  a  little  too  tight  ,  because  she  hates  going  through  the  process  of  letting  people  in  all  over  again  .  a  twenty  something  year  old  who  craves  a  mother’s  touch  but  holds  a  grudge  that  sometimes  causes  her  to  miss  out  on  people  .   always  just  wants  to  feel  like  she’s  worth  making  sacrifices  for  .

* career . 

kylie    cosmetics  ?  nessa  cosmetics  ,  a  brand  built  at  seventeen  years  old  and  has  only  grown  from  there  .   collections  that  consist  of  collabs  with  close  friends  and  family  (  when  she’s  talking  to  them  )  ,   and  season  /  holiday  collections  .  does  something  for  her  birthday  ,  november  third  ,  every  year  .  has  a  collection  dedicated  to  her  zodiac  sign  , scorpio  .   constantly  changing  her  formula  to  better  her  brand  ,  and  does  everything  hands  on  .  does  most  of  her  work  from  her  office  .   can  find  her  instagram  stories  to  be  her  swatching  her  latest  products  .  favorite  thing  of  hers  being  her  eye shadows   (  applaud  for  the  pigmented  ) .  good  quality  ,  inclusive  and  diverse  (  more  then  actual  kylie  cosmetics  )  is  the  most  important  thing  when  it  comes  to  her  brand  . 

launched  nessa  skin  a  single  year  ago  ,  and  has  worked  on  it  for  the  last  three  years  .  her  latest  child  ,  and  plans  to  only  grow  it  .  skin  has  always  been  super  important  to  nessa  ,  and  delivering  her  supporters  with  products  that  will  actually  work  is  her  main  priority  .  

a  youtube  channel  with  ten  million  subscribers  ,  youtuber  as  a  second  job .  it  starting  as  a  hobby  and  a  way  of  connecting  with  supporters  to  becoming  something  she  cannot  imagine  not  doing  .   her  channel  consists  of  mixed  content  such  from  fashion  hauls  to  makeup  videos  to  even  vlogs  that  involved  her  friends  (  and  family  )  doing  stupid  things  .  

em  &  ness  ,  a  clothing  brand  her  and  her  sister  are  developing  .   features  trendy  street  wear  ,  more  to  come  soon  . 

* connections

the  childhood  friend  that  reminds  her  of  simpler  times  ,   mud  pies  in  the  back  yard  and  riding  their  bikes  around  the  neighborhood  .  secrets  and  promises  of  being  friends  forever  that  felt  secure  but  feel  short  .  bonded  forever  maybe  ,  but  constantly  feeling  like  strangers  .   (  or   they  could  still  be  close  friends  )

the  family  friend  that  their  parent(s)  swore  were  going  to  end  up  together  ,  though  if  the  two  caught  any  talk  of  that  would  scrunch  their  nose  ups  and  shake  their  head  .  or  at  least  they  did  for  a  while  ,  until  lines  started  to  fade  and  the  comfortableness  felt  like  something  more  ..  not  together  now  ,  but  constantly  a  what  if  ,  the  idea  still  runs  in  their  minds  but  is  a  friendship  worth  something  that  might  not  work  out 

a  friendship  or  more  so  platonic  soulmates  ,  if  you  see  one  you  know  the  other  is  not  far  behind  .  they  are  somewhat  extensions  of  one  another  ,  swear  they  cannot  survive  without  one  another  .  the  one  person  nessa  trusts  the  most  ,  someone  who  has  never  hurt  her  or  left  her  .  her  person  .

the  bad  influence  that  plays  on  her  impulsiveness  .  talks  her  head  up  to  get  even  or  take  that  tenth  shot  because  why  the  fuck  not  .  anytime  something  bad  almost  happened  ,  like  that  time  we  almost  got  a  fine  ,  she  was  with  this  person  .  and  while  she  adores  them  ,  she  knows  they  aren’t  exactly  the  best  for  her  .

the  friend  group  you  cannot  help  but  envy  ,  constantly  plastered  on  one  anothers  instragram  feeds  .  has  their  own  groupchat  that  does  nothing  but  blow  up  .  shopping  trips  in  italy  and  vacations  in  greece  .  do  not  always  get  along  but  there  is  always  love  in  between  them  .  they  are  constantly  in  her  vlogs  ,  and  would  kind  of  be  like  her  very  own  vlog  squad  .

the  friends  with  benefits  who  swear  they  are  just  friends  ,  and  the  sex  means  nothing  .  despite  the  fact  that  they  linger  a  little  too  long  in  one  another’s  bed    .  and  the  promises  of  this  will  not  ruin  anything  become  blurry  when  they  connect  on  a  deeper  level  .  and    it  gets  confusing  when  their  affectionate  comes  to  surface  ,  but  regardless  they  are  just  friends  .

a  trio  of  three  friends  who  are  always  seen  together  ,  best  friends  could  be  the  world  to  use  to  describe  them  (  bonus  points  if  its  all  girls  )  .

the heart  breaker  ,  the  person  that  fucked  her  up  for  good  .  ruined  the  way  she  loved  and  left  her  with  a  lot  of  regret  and  heart  ache  .  she  swear  she  hates  them  ,  but  she  hates  how  much  she  loved  them  and  how  close  they  got  to  her  .  hates  how  they  went  from  knowing  her  more  then  anyone  to  being  someone  she  cannot  even  look  in  the  eyes  anymore  (  bonus  points  if  it  involves  them  cheating  on  her  ,  extra  bonus  points  if  it’s  angsty  as  hell  )  

the  drinking  buddy  she  confides  in   ,  a  glass  of  wine  and  a  lot  of  shit  talking  that   always  end  up  in  talking  about  personal  matters  .  they  are  a  ear  and  someone  to  lean  on  .

the  on  and  off  fling  ,  their  back  and  forth  being  nessa  and  her  refusal  to  let  them  in  completely  .  her  feelings  for  them  scare  her  ,  and  she’s  not  ready  to  walk  down  the  road  of  being  with  someone  again  .

other  things  i  want  include  ;  unlikely  friends  ,  enemies  to  friends  ,  friends  to  enemies  ,  lovers  to  friends  ,  friends  to  lover  ,  ex  best  friend  ,  ex  friends  in  general  ,  ex  friends  who  miss  each  other  terribly  ,  other  youtubers  she  collabs  with  ,  other  ceo’s  of  makeup  brands  /  skin  brands  she  has  a  rivalry  with  because  the  media  made  it  seem  like  they  hated  one  another  .

[isthisthingeven0n]

You should listen to the song Bitter by FLETCHER! It’s a bop and I think you’d really like it. I can imagine it from David’s perspective after you guys break up, I feel like there’s not many post break up imagines out there where HE’S the jealous or bitter one, but he totally would be like a petulant child 😂

omg bitter is a fucking bop!!! i love fletcher sm and i’ve written like one or two pieces inspired by her songs before but bitter would be fucking epic. i’m definitely adding this to my drafts- thank you for such an angsty idea (also the music video for it is just ugh, something else) 

[jamezvaldes]

half and half 1-25 for emmy 26-50 for nicky!!

Thank Erin!!! This totally didn’t take forever for once! Also it’ll be under the cut because it’d be damn long. 

For Emmy: 

1. What is your OC’s favorite color?Idk man, like either pale blue or dark red

2. Does your OC collect anything? What do theycollect?Skateboard desks! They’re hanging up in her section of the garage, mainly because Nic wouldn’t let Em put them up in the house because they didn’t match the vibe Nic was going for

3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to?Nothing actually. 

4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear?Whatever is comfortable and clean. But jeans and tee-shirts mainly, but can dress up if needed. 

5. What is your OC’s first memory?Being with Dominic in school, just sitting and having lunch together on the first day of the year

6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Leastfavorite?Doggos!!! and least favourite would probably be sharks. like she’s got no reason to not like them but she just doesn’t like them 

7. What element would your OC be?Probably Wind? I don’t really know what elements this is referring to tbh

8. What is your OC’s theme song? maybe one of these few songs:  Better Now (Acoustic) - Etham. What’s Good - Fenne Lily. Wasted Youth - FLETCHER

9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for yourOC?my gal Maia Mitchell for both

10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC?Pride11.  What are your OC’s hobbies?Swimming. Skating. Extreme napping. Playing guitar.   

12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?Emmy is so not patient with anyone. and baby is so hot-headed

13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race /species / etc.?Female. She/her. Bisexual. White American. Human. 

14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What aretheir least favorite foods?Emmy will basically eat any food so she doesn’t really have any least favourite foods

15. If your OC could have any pet, what would theychoose? Why?Well, she has two dogs and a cat. So I don’t think she’d pick another one. 

16. What does your OC smell like? Cinnamon and coffee all year around.  

17. How do they make a living? What kind of job dothey want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of theircurrent job?She has job and it’s bartending at The Pit, the bar that Nic owns. She likes it, but The Pit isn’t a place she really wants to spend a lot of her life working at. Something in psychology is probably want she wants to do, or victim activation.  

18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses?Strengths?Loosing Nic is one of her greatest fears. she’s quite impulsive which is both a strength and weakness tbh. 

19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do theyhave a favorite song?Any sort of music tbh, but prefers softer songs compared to most. 

20. If they came from their world to ours (if notalready in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?She’d probably still go about her normal life tbh. 

21.  What personal problems/issues do they have? Petpeeves?She’s like lowkey a hypocrite but a pet peeve is when other people are hypocrites

22. What kind of student were they/would they be inhigh school?A decent student. Didn’t get into as much trouble as Nic but still got into a lot of it. Was in the top 5% of her year. 

23. What is a random fact about your OC? Can drive but would prefer not to do it, likes being driven around by other people. But will drive others around a lot. Almost always the designated driver when out clubbing.

24. What is their outlook on life? What is theirphilosophy / what do they think in general about living?Emmy is pretty chill about life, if it’s meant to happen it’ll happen. That sort of outlook. But will secretly plan a lot. 

25. What inspired you to create them / how did youcreate them? Were they originally a fan character? What was their personality /design like when you first made them?Nicky needing someone to ground her and to keep her from going off the rails was what inspired her creation. Despite y’all being introduced to Em for a fic, she wasn’t actually for that, she was initially a fandomless piece. She’s still quite similar to who she was when first created, at the core of her, but has become more criminal to fit into this world. 

For Nicky:

26. Who is the most important person in their life?Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?)Most important, an angel called Emmy. Emmy changed her life and gave Nic a reason to live. Least important, Trisitian Cooper, the worst possible human being, he’s important because he’s responsible for so much trauma. 

27.  What kind of childhood did your character have?A strange one. Jacob was a half decent father but a bad man. and yknow a lot of trauma happened as well. 

28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Dothey stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?When she gets nervous, she shuffles between her feet. She can’t stay still. She’s a recovering addict. 

29. If they could choose their epitaph for theirgrave, what would they choose?It’d probably be something witty depending on the circumstances of her death. Or something that implies she’s a ghost. 

30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not?Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?It’s complicated topic for her. Like I think deep down she’d want to get married and have kids, but she doesn’t want to bring them into the world she’s apart of. 

31.  What is their most traumatic memory/experience?What is their favorite memory?Traumatic memory, well there’s a lot. Everything that went down with Tristian. Jacob’s death. Blowing out her knee when she was 14. Favourite memory, getting custody of Emmy!! Becoming a god parent to Nate and Jordan’s daughter

32.  If they could have one thing in the world, whatwould it be?Freedom. Complete freedom. 

33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someonehave to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? Probably? They’d have to do something that tips her over the edge. 

34.  What social groups and activities does yourcharacter attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actuallyplay, usually?Doesn’t really like clubbing that much. She’d be the person who organised the night, mainly poker or something like that. 

35.   How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaminga lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?Nic tries to stay out of her memories because there’s a lot which are quite triggering. She worries about what happens if she gets caught. Doesn’t really have that much of an imagination so doesn’t daydream that much.

36. What does your character want most? What do theyneed really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, toobtain?Nic wants freedom. She’d not sacrifice anything for it though.

37. What’s something that your character does, that otherpeople don’t normally do?She’s a criminal…. She does a lot of underground fighting

38. What would your character do with a milliondollars?I’m assuming that Nic got it illegally so she’d launder it before spending it a couple of years later. Probably would buy another legal business.  

39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? Ontheir bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?a KNIFE in all places. But not like the knives that are for cooking, like the cool knives, like flip, pocket and butterfly ones. 

40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Whereare they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?Probably going to a club called The Turning Point, probably with Sofia or Holly. Sofia would probably make Nic wear a dress but Holly knows that wouldn’t be possible. So ripped jeans and a nice shirt. 

41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?Normally tries to walk away, because she has her father’s temper and can do things that she’d regret.

42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they getthem from? She has a lot of track marks in the inner corner of her left elbow, got them as a result of her drug addiction. Has a faint scar around her knee because she had to have surgery to fix it after blowing it out. 

43. What was the most offensive thing your character hadever said?She doesn't really say offensive things

44. How does your character react/ accept criticism?Depending on the type of criticism, she’d more than likely ignore it. 

45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizzaand they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react?Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?She doesn't mind pineapple pizza, not her favourite type of pizza but wouldn’t say no to pizza. She’d eat it

46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. Whatdo they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?She’d probably toss it because she doesn’t believe that they work. 

47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Dothey doodle?Nic can’t draw but she’ll doodle little random things. 

48. What were their parents like? How has that affected howthey are as an adult?Jacob was a horrible man but a great father to Nic. Not having him anymore has affected her quite negatively, she lost him when she was 16 and it left her quite lost. Eleanor, her mother, doesn’t know her and doesn’t want to know her. 

49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugarrushes? What are they like when they get a rush?Nic doesn’t mind candy and doesn’t get sugar rushes. 

50. If your character was presented with imminent andunavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid deathanyways? Would they try to make their last days count?Do everything that she’d probably ever wanted to do without having to deal with the consequences 

[technicolorfamiliar]

Global Spirit Tour: 2017 - 2018

Prologue:

Something weird happened early in 2017.

I was looking for a song to lip synch to. In drag.

This was for a one-off performance with the improv group I was part of at the time. We had a string of a few LGBTQ events, and drag lip synchs were becoming a regular part of our season. I needed a song, and I needed to pick something I knew no one else in the group would choose. As someone who is secretly very competitive (and someone who knows I perform on stage better as a man anyway), finding the perfect song and perfect character to fit the song was stressing me out. So I turned to my beloved 80's New Wave station on Pandora for inspiration.

Eventually, the inspiration I desperately needed presented itself (this is the Weird Thing). It was, of all things, Depeche Mode's "Stories of Old" from Some Great Reward, a song I knew and loved deeply as a teenager but hadn't actually heard or really listened to in years. And with the inspiration from the song came the core inspiration for my character. Suddenly, everything locked into place - the look, the hair, the clothes, the physicality (read: how provocative I could get away with being at what was technically a family friendly event). And with that perfect vision for my character, all thing things I loved about Depeche Mode when I was in high school came flooding back to me. Wave after wave of nostalgia, the kind that makes you realize, "this is why I am the way I am."

And so I was forcibly dragged back into all things Depeche Mode by one song, one incredibly underrated song stuck somewhere in the middle of what isn't even my favorite DM album.

(I ended up using a different song by a different band for the drag improv thing, at the directors' request, they thought something more well-known would be more appropriate, and at the time I agreed. But my character mood board was still very much focused on DM in the mid-80s.)

Funnily enough, at that same time, DM were about to release a new album and announce dates for their Global Spirit Tour. So the timing on my part worked out perfectly. I have a habit of rediscovering the music I loved in high school just as a bunch of new content is about to hit the internet (one day I'll write about how Danny Elfman and Oingo Boingo saved my life more than once).

For a little background, when I say I loved DM in high school, I mean that's when I first heard of them. I didn't grow up on Depeche Mode, as my parents - who were my major source of music recs until I was 15 - absolutely hated anything that had to do with 1980s synthpop, post-punk, or any other new wave music. But someone much older and much cooler than me gave me a mix tape with "In Your Room" on it and I was intrigued. That wasn't the DM song that sealed my fate as a fan. That was 100% "Never Let Me Down Again", but a nudge in the right direction was all I needed, and for that honest to god actual mix tape cassette, I am eternally grateful.

I was a teenager during the era of Playing The Angel, and I was lucky enough to see them on that tour with my best friend at the time. The tickets were my high school graduation present. Our seats were at the very back of what used to be the Nissan Pavilion in VA. I hardly remember anything about the show itself, and any pictures I must have taken on my old pocket digital camera are sadly lost.

Washington, DC:

It was 2017 before I managed to see another DM tour. For whatever reason, whether it was my busy work schedule, being broke, or waiting until shows were already sold out to look for tickets, I missed both the Sounds of the Universe and Delta Machine tours. So when the Spirit tour was announced, I was poised and ready to make what some people might consider irrational financial choices in order to see three separate shows between September 2017 and June 2018.

The lead-up to the September 7th show in DC was a lot of fun. I was going with my two close friends, so we enjoyed some additional bonding as we eagerly anticipated the show together. This was the only gig on the tour I saw with people I knew, and I have nothing against going to concerts by myself -- and sometimes traveling great distances to do so. But getting to share the excitement leading up to the actual day and at the event itself with two of my very good friends was really special. I'm really glad I got to share that experience with them, and have their positive, enthusiastic energy to draw on.

This is the part of the post where I go on a brief tangent about superfan elitism, bear with me: The hardcore DM fans would say, "Three shows? That's nothing." And I would say they're right, but that doesn’t make me any less of a fan. I could have gone to more shows, probably, but my bank account, my job security, and my sanity required that three be the maximum amount of shows I got to see on this specific tour. There are numerous ways a person can express their love of a band, a tv show, a piece of immersive theatre, or whatever. The level of insane superfan I am or am not does not mean that their music is any less important to me as an artist and as person. HOWEVER, the people who I encountered at these three DM shows who were on their phones the entire concert, people who had better seats than me who sat down completely unengaged the whole time, and the people making disrespectful and unrelated comments about the audience and the band themselves can go fuck themselves. That negative, attention seeking, distracting bullshit has no place down in the floor seats in front of the stage, they can go be terrible up in the mezzanine levels.

Which is exactly where my first show was spent.

Second or third tier seats for big arena shows are 1000% not worth whatever money you spend on them. They're too far away, and you're surrounded by people who act like they've never heard of the band they paid actual money to see. The only reason my friends and I were up there in the first place was because of how absurd the US ticket queueing system was for the first North American leg of the GST. I, like many others, have a lot of issues with how that was handled and am glad they scrapped it for the second round of US shows.

I'm glad I had my two friends with me at the DC show, though. The three of us were maybe the only people having a genuinely fun time in our section. This first show for me was the only one where I cried. I wasn't expecting to, but hearing and seeing Martin sing "Home" struck something in me. And then "Heroes". I knew it was coming, but it still managed to really resonate on a deep emotional level. I love David Bowie as much as they do, but knowing that "Heroes" was how Dave was initially asked to be in the band, and my own personal feelings and connections to Bowie, hearing Dave sing it as well as he did was everything in that moment.

I have a number of issues with that show in DC, but none of them have anything to do with DM or the show itself. They played more songs from Spirit at this show than at any of the others I attended, but there was also "Corrupt" and "Wrong", "A Question of Lust" and "Somebody". It was also the longest set list of out of the three shows, with 22 songs total, which is rare for them, from what I understand, because of how intense their live shows are, especially for Dave (which I got to experience more closely at the other two shows). His presence on stage radiates to the rafters of huge venues like the Capital One Arena -- but more about Dave in a minute. I can talk about how good they sounded in DC, and how much hearing those songs live meant to me on that night during that time in my life, how I felt the synths and bass and percussion in my bone marrow and in my soul, but I can't really talk about the all-consuming, sweaty frenzy of experiencing a show like theirs from the floor. For that, I need to talk about Berlin and Philadelphia.

Berlin:

So DM announced more dates in Europe. And, because I'm insane I guess, was online at some ungodly hour when tickets went on sale for the two shows in Berlin, Germany in January. I was able to get an early entry ticket for the January 19th show in BERLIN where I would be surrounded by other people who were actually genuinely excited to be there, which would be a huge improvement after the lackluster crowds in DC.

Am I glad I did it? Yes. Would I do it exactly the same way ever again? Probably not. Because queueing overnight outside the arena was worth it for the concert experience itself, but it's not necessarily something I need to do again any time soon. I'm a weak, American fan, and I own that. The German DM fans go so fucking hard and I am absolutely terrified of them.

Somehow, I managed to get a spot on the barrier without any pushing or shoving. I wound up in the pocket where the main stage becomes turns into the catwalk, right in front of where Andy Fletcher has his set-up. On either side of me were two other women who also were there by themselves. They were nice enough to talk to me and keep me company while we waited.

The show, though.

My consciousness went… somewhere else. I can’t really compare the feeling to anything else I've experienced. I've been to some other really singularly wonderful concerts, to see bands and musicians that I have deep emotional ties to, but none of them have been like this. It's the combination of being part of the masses down on the floor, on the barrier, exhausted and sweating and euphoric, with the power and intensity of hearing and seeing Depeche Mode perform live. I was hyper-aware of everything happening in front of me. Time did something strange, it crawled by so slowly and yet it was over before I could register what happened. I was an outsider there, but I felt like I was part of this massive collective, all connected by our desire to be there, our love of the music, united for a few hours, and I was so aware that everything that was happening on stage and around us was happening to eary one of the people in that arena at once.

The sound of the ignition at the beginning of "Stripped" reverberating in your rib cage, the driving, head-banging riffs in "I Feel You," the cosmic outro of "Cover Me," the field of wheat arm-waving during "Never Let Me Down Again" -- having it all happen to you, at that volume, at that frequency and intensity, is like having your soul yanked from your body and cast into decadent oblivion.

Honestly, it was a blur. But as far as I can remember, highlights included:

The additional songs from Ultra! Unexpected, but very much appreciated.

Experiencing Andy Fletcher's ridiculous awkward dad dancing up close and in person. There's a lot of hype about Fletch's moves, but let me tell you, they exceed any expectation.

Martin. Martin sang "Sister of Night" AND "Judas". I was overcome. People talk about singers sounding like an angel, but Martin L. Gore is the only person in the history of music that saying actually applies to in full.

And Dave. If he was anything like he was at this show when they were at the DC show, I missed the fuck out. Because yes, he performs to the whole arena, even to the people in the very back, but it's altogether something else to watch someone that animated up close. He's tapping into some energy and fire to fuel his work that I've only rarely seen in other artists. Dave Gahan never phones it in, he always performs like he's got jet fuel for blood and like every show really means something. He is outrageous on stage, in every sense of the word. He is endlessly inspiring, and deserves so much recognition and respect.

Philadelphia:

That said… to me, it seemed like the band as a whole was having way more fun at the Philly show than they did in Berlin. I can't put my finger on the specific differences, but they seemed lighter, more pleased with their work, and maybe genuinely surprised at the warmth of their audience in Philly. Martin smiled a lot more at the Philadelphia show, and Dave seemed looser, maybe less tired after a double in Germany.

The Philly gig on June 3rd was the best, by far, out of the three. The second US leg of the GST was announced and I, of course, being the way that I am, thought, "FUCK IT WHY NOT" and magically got a floor seat ticket right in front of Martin's side of the stage after the general tickets went on sale. And it was worth every penny and a short train ride from Baltimore.

I met a few more very nice people, a couple from Florida (whose first show had been cancelled due to the major hurricane last year) and a solo lady sitting behind me who let me join their conversation. And the man sitting to my left was British? European? So he also knew all the things the audience is supposed to do during specific songs that I learned when I was in Berlin. There were definitely some bastard people in the crowd, even down on the floor, terrible people who clearly weren't enjoying themselves, but the high energy of everyone else made it easy to shift focus to the band.

The set list was very similar to the one I heard in Germany, with the exception of two of Martin's songs from Music For The Masses and "A Question of Time" right before their closer -- "Personal Jesus." But again, the performances and mood behind most of the songs at the Philly show seemed lighter, more playful and mischievous (on Dave's part). And the time really flew by. I missed "I Feel You" in the set list, but that's a very minor criticism of what was, over all, a miraculous third show out of three very powerful concerts.

Epilogue:

The general consensus among fans is that this may have been the last big tour Depeche Mode have. They may keep recording together and separately, but another tour on this massive scale is unlikely. If that's the case, I'm so glad I found a way to see three very different shows on the Global Spirit Tour. I can’t imagine experiencing the same exact feeling these shows gave me; I certainly didn't feel the same at David Byrne's awesome American Utopia tour show this summer, and I don't expect the feel the same when I see Nick Cave in October.

Depeche Mode, especially now, at this stage in their careers, during this time in American and world history, and for me personally at this specific point in my life as I age out of my 20s, have been a source of sanity and compassion, of deep feeling and social commentary. Their music touches maybe the parts of myself I'm too scared to look at head on. After going through some of the things that have happened to me as an adult, and as I figure out the kind of person I want to be in the coming decade, obviously there are certain themes resonate with me more than they did when I first discovered DM as a teen. I am grateful to have had circumstances happen the way they did to lead me back to Depeche Mode, to delve deep into their music and history.

Those three shows changed the my standards for seeing live music. After being front row for the Berlin concert, how could I ever go back to being content sitting up in the second or third tier for any arena show? I've been spoiled.

And after a few months have passed, when I think about my experiences over the course of the Global Spirit Tour, it doesn't quite feel real. There are a few other concerts I've been to where when I think about it, I think, "Did that actually happen??" (Namely seeing Danny Elfman in Los Angeles on Halloween, 2014. Absolutely bonkers.) Seeing DM in Berlin is definitely one of those moments already, not even a year later.

I look forward to the future of their music. If Depeche Mode tour again, and that's a big if, the furthest I would travel to see them is maybe the UK, but hopefully that won’t be necessary! However, I absolutely would go see a solo show, if Martin or Dave ever had shows anywhere even remotely close by. I would absolutely travel to New York or LA to see a solo Martin show or Dave with Soulsavers. From what I can tell those venues are usually smaller, so it would be easier to have a more enjoyable, intimate experience.

But that's all there is. Nothing more than you can feel now, that's all there is.

Until next time.

Photo by me, Jan 19, 2018

[6797968625078]

13 fabienne delsol lilac time young fresh fellows young marble giants bla axolotes mexicanos angelou slipslide arrogants pete astor loft astronaut anthony atkinson mabels simpletons guild league astrobrite masters of the hemisphere essex green automatics las aventuras de kirlian vacaciones avo-8 14 bad dream fancy dress airport girl single corazon alvvays mousefolk little red schoolhouse emotionals kennedy pill northside corn dollies postal blue divine comedy cinerama pocketbooks help stamp out loneliness afternoon naps bart & friends bats jumprope nerdy girl colin clary wimp factor ethnobabes beanpole casino ashtrays bulldozer crash bedroom eyes stick insect room bible bitter springs time lodgers blissful a shrine fosca billy bragg 15 almanacs po baby lemonade auteurs milky wimpshake shrag bearsuit shy nobleman bazooka cain tables benny profane emotional violence my favorite secret history boolteens yeah jazz mayfields aprons keren ann brian cud rhythm sisters la buena vida emilys sassy lime busch camping candy skins material issue neds atomic dustbin dbs captain cocoa what gives boys with the perpetual nervousness cath carroll virna lindt catchers cleaners from venus 16 mumbly autocollants ballboy spook school colour me wednesday dream nails happy accidents charmpit joanna gruesome martha betty & the werewolves blanche hudson weekend hari & aino ballet deirdres mammoth penguins shining hour receptionists bis x-ray spex blochin 81 bouquet chromatics au revoir simone caretaker race motorists carousel cessna chalk giants accrington stanley charlottes web charming kissing book club hoy 17 parallelograms burning hearts hidden cameras poly styrene release party call & response care remember fun umbrellas chime school cindy ducks ltd le coupe chin-chin melodie group pinkie vehicle flips coastal cody go-betweens peach kelli cowboy & spin girl popinjays voice of the beehive sarah cracknell crayon cuckooland daily planet darcy dead famous people deep season delicious monster simpatico from bubblegum to sky sprites galactic heroes salteens california oranges swandive a sunny day in glasgow charlottes fuzzbox 18 blind bats los punsetes best friends group edwyn collins julian cope legendary pink dots jane wiedlin look blue go purple julee speedboat fonda wolfie sushi cooper mirafiori serpentina desert wolves times microdisney dog faced hermans rezillos jazzateers wee cherubs motorcycle boy thanes bachelor pad prayers submarines church grims jack drag dubious brothers dubstar earwig easter & the totem echobelly happy losers christina rosenvinge 19 chocolate barry churchbuilder sunny intervals jane & barton april march denim presidents men easy river pipe ana laan universal circus bombones eggplant ego stereo total supercoze emily ephemera evergreen exhibit b exit 13 five or six fish john west reject swansea sound catenary wires piroshka robert forster songs for the young at heart throwing muses frank & walters la monja enana white town jenifer jackson vitesse toothpaste 2000 fugu sleepy township ashley park 20 driscolls dylans edwin moses schwarz electronic fat & frantic fire engines jetstream pony massage world of fox feat amelia fletcher felt tip free design ditty bops pipettes tilly & the wall los fresones rebeldes friends of sound pop shalini matt bruno un viernes pop transparent blue extravagance stroppies crayon fields mates of state mosquitos dennis driscoll minders lunchbox darren hanlon pas/cal louis philippe heart throbs inspiral carpets

[chesterfieldstings]

The Garden - Mirror Might Steal Your Charm - Review

The Garden Mirror Might Steal Your Charm Epitaph Records

It’s no secret fellas. Rock music is going through some growing pains right now. The landscape is changing and it’s been happening for a while. With hip hop and trap being the current zeitgeist and industry constantly catering to more electronic centric acts it’s not hard to see why. Rock fans don’t particularly help the situation either. With their puritanical nature and unwillingness to compromise it’s sort of tough to see where one of the biggest genres ever will end up in the future. The Garden, however is a punk band, not completely in the traditional sense given their influence and aesthetics but absolutely in how much they simply don’t give a fuck. Mirror Might Steal Your Charm is the 5th release from twin brothers Wyatt and Fletcher Shears aka The Garden and it’s easily their best yet. Packed with sardonic humor, an uncompromisingly idiosyncratic style and a dizzying array of influences, textures and motifs they have crafted one of the most unpredictable punk rock records of the decade.

It should be said early however that this album is absolutely not going to be for everyone. The vocals, are delivered in a consistently sarcastic inflection sometimes rapped, sometimes shouted, sometimes bellowed with bratty energy that draws out every syllable. The songs themselves have a hectic unpredictable nature to them that take multiple listens to commit to memory. There’s techno break beats, show tunes diversions, a healthy dose of hip hop, indie rock. The Garden have never shied away from throwing in everything but the kitchen sink in their music but this time around all of those elements are blended together more seamlessly than ever.

“Stallion” does a great job of establishing the tone for the record, being a completely unstable opening track that alternates between beach rock and hardcore punk impeccably. It also introduces the albums recurring motif of nearly every song having two contrasting components fighting each other for lead melody. With a few exceptions such as the touching closer track, this is a trick The Garden uses a lot and to good effect. “Shameless Shadow” has a rockabilly-esque saunter that transitions in between a show tunes theme worthy of a pair of jazz hands. A similarly jazzy groove is effectively used on the late album track “Stylish Spit”. The inexplicable mid album cut “ :( “ is one of the weirdest and wildest tracks with it’s choppy synth-led pounce and a hilarious skit where a man gets shot through a phone call with a ray gun.

As freakish as most of this is there are some very clear points of inspiration The Garden blends into what they call *Vada Vada. Devo is a pretty obvious one, modern electronic music is a pretty big one as well. Late 90’s techno and break beat appear on a few cuts like the speedy “A Message for Myself”. “Who am I Going to Share All this Wine With” is almost a dead ringer for an Iceage instrumental circa You’re Nothing era. Hardcore punk flashes in and out of these tracks and on one cut, namely “Make a Wish”, they give their take on, dare I say, trap music. The kick drum hits you right into the heart while Wyatt’s voice raps out nearly incoherent lyrics about drunken wizards whispering in your ear.

The Garden could easily be written off as a gimmick band and I get that a lot of people are going to see this album as another entry in their pantheon nonsensical albums. However, the critics saying this are somewhat right. Some of this content doesn’t make sense but maybe it doesn’t need to. “Make a Wish” seems to comment on the idea of needing songs to make sense. “Call the Dogs Out”, the albums fantastic lead single, delves into the idea of having your own little safe space to be creative and unique. Declaratively saying if someone shows up uninvited you can ‘let the dogs out’ and tell them to beat it. “A Message For Myself” ends with the succinct monologue saying that everyone is equal and nothing you do makes any more or less human than anybody else. In spite of the nonsensical nature of the music the general theme seems to be that you can do whatever you want, fuck it. You have one life to live and be as weird as you feel like you need to be. It’s a simple message but it’s something that can be sadly forgotten amongst the rat race.

Mirror Might Steal Your Charm is an album that checks all the boxes. This is a record that is wild, creative, well written and has an undeniable pulse to it that is severely lacking in modern rock music. Although, there are a few stylistic choices that go slightly awry. The insistence on using synthetic horns can be pretty overbearing and often makes the album veer into overly chintzy territory. Namely on the track “Banana Peel” where the horns that drive the melody obnoxiously honk and plod throughout the duration of the cut. The lyrics are cute however, that is if you’re as much of a sucker for food metaphors as I am. The closer “No Destination” wraps things up on an touching note. The Garden’s take on the old adage of “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey” comes across surprisingly elegantly. Perhaps there is no destination in life, perhaps there doesn’t have to be. As long as you’re enjoying your time on this earth then no one can take that away from you. Mirror Might Steal Your Charm is a love letter to the freakier side of life it’s fun, charming, grotesque, cute, obnoxious, and psychotic all at the same time. More often than not, it’s also brilliant.

9.2/10

Top Tier: “Make a Wish”, “Call the Dogs Out”, “ :( “, “Who am I Going to Share All this Wine With”, “No Destination”, “Stylish Spit”, “Good News”, “Voodoo Luck”

Meh Tier: “Banana Peel”

If you liked this, give one of these a shot!

Guerilla Toss - GT Ultra Ariel Pink - Pom Pom Zach Hill - FACE TAT JPEGMAFIA - Veteran

Aight love yall, have a nice day

*Vada Vada - taken from The Garden’s official website:

“They created the term, "Vada Vada" in 2011 to represent their music and other creations. Vada Vada is a term that represents total freedom of expression without boundaries or guidelines of any sort.”

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to shemakesmusic@hotmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Nathalie Miranda

Nathalie Miranda is a full-fledged, soul belter, power-house vocalist with a 4octave range. Notable for her unique, soulful voice, and high energy performances, this artist is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Hot on the heels of her recent release ‘Poltergeist’ earlier this year, her new single ‘Catch-22’ is out now. This is a totally different sound for Nathalie, and one that she feels reflects her love of soul and blues music, while still being, without doubt, a relatable, catchy, pop song. Nathalie elaborates further: "I wanted to create a song that reflected by love for Blues and Soul, while still being a pop track. I came up with the melody and the initial lyric one day during lockdown, and it really inspired me to create this retro sound, while still being a relatable topic.The girl in the song is trying to work out whether or not she should listen to her heart or her head; she knows that her boyfriend has hurt her, but the problem is that she just can’t live without him...which is therefore a catch-22! Infact, I didn’t have a title for the song until a few weeks before I shot the video! Musically, I wanted it to sound huge and quite sparse at the same time, which I think my producer and co-writer, Simon, did a great job creating in our make-shift home studio! We triple tracked most of the harmonies and backing vocals to give it that massive sound that I had envisioned. Time-consuming but definitely worth it!The inspiration for the video was a Bond theme. I wanted something very simple, and obviously it had to be a Covid-friendly video shoot with social distancing! So it’s all about suggestion in the video, and the frustration thatthe protagonist is feeling." Listen below.

Nathalie Miranda · Catch-22

Elin Bellander

‘Good on My Own’ is a vibrant and melodic contemporary pop song about self-love and fully embracing your independence. Getting out of a long term and highly co-dependent relationship, Swedish pop singer-songwriter Elin Bellander found herself in the midst of a new-found freedom which inspired her latest single. Produced by NYC based artist/songwriter/producer Skyler Cocco, the two worked on the track only through social media due to the pandemic keeping them from working together in person. The state of the world right now can be daunting, but these two still managed to make magic happen, just like Elin says “It was super cool to connect with a complete stranger on the other side of the Atlantic and still manage to find a vibe together as creatives solely through digital platforms. During these trying times it’s nice to see that it’s still possible to form new creative connections and create something positive, and Ibelieve we did just that.’’ Heavily influencedby artists such as Julia Michaels, Lennon Stella, SHY Martin & FLETCHER, this is a pop song with something to say. It’s got deeper meaningful lyricalcontentabout losing yourself in a relationship and then getting out of it on the other end and finding happiness.“Ineed to learn how to be my own best friend and writing this song is one step closer to getting there”. Listen below.

Elin Bellander · Good on My Own

Bethia

Reading’s own Bethia, debuts brand new single ‘Meantime’. An intimate love song about the journey to normality at the end of a break up, ‘Meantime’ is a sweet blend of pop melodies & RnB arrangement; making this stunning debut more than just a heartbreak anthem. Detailing the hardship of finding yourself once more, this end of summer slow jam makes for the perfect segue into cuffing season. Speaking on her inspiration for the song, and the realities of lost love Bethia says, “’Meantime’ revolves around a particular post break-up feeling, even though you don’t have the comfort of them with you physically, you continue to think about them and dwell on the good memories you created together.” Produced by SHOR & Mört ‘Meantime’ strikes the perfect balance. Showing off her skyhigh range, ‘Meantime’ marks the start of what promises to be an authentic career for this 22 year old singer-songwriter.

Bethia · Meantime

Elphi

'Play Pretend’ is a single born from lockdown. Produced by the head of Hyperpop Records, Shady Monk, Elphi's single brings together classic pop elements with darker electronic sounds creating an overall explosive dance track that has a melancholic ring to it. As a female DJ Elphi has spoken of how difficult the industry is to be heard in as a woman, but that should not put young girls off. She wanted to include electronic tropes in her music to make them easily 'mixable' in a set. Listen below.

Elphi · Play Pretend

[otownrex]

Long live the pioneers, rebels and mutineers - X Ambassador

"Hey, Rex!", shouts Scott over the din of the lunchroom crowd at Winter Park High. It's 1977ish and Scott had gotten wind that I play guitar.

Scott was a true blue rock and roll guitar player and was forming a garage band.

"Dude, I hear you are pretty good at rhythm guitar and I need a backup. You up for it?" he asks as he pins me between the lunch lady and one of the football jocks.

The jock sneers at me and grumbles, "I hear you're playing at the Crew party next weekend Salsman." addressing Scott and me. "Don't you have your band together yet? This is going to be a train wreck." the jock predicts.

I shrug and say "Sure." Now keep in mind, I've never played in a band before. All my skills displayed in the safety of my bedroom, playing along with the likes of Lynyrd Skynyrd and Led Zeppelin. Never with anyone else playing with me.

"We practice at my house at 4:30 after school. Be there and bring your amp." Scott instructs me.

Scott was a good player. I had seen him before at various impromptu lunchtime concerns at school that he a couple of other guys would put on from time to time. He was my gold standard. The Pace Car.

The rest of the day was spent in panic mode. "Would I remember the chords? Would I be good enough or would they laugh me out of the garage?" "Would I be able to keep up?"

As it turns out I was able to hang and I was even good enough to play lead on a couple of songs that Scott did not know. We played the Crew party and that night I was a rock and roll star.

Today I have other "Pace Cars" that inspire and give me a benchmark to shoot for. Someone to emulate.

First is Michael Della Pia. Michael is an entrepreneur. The proud owner of two computer companies. One for corporate clients and one that helps regular folks. He also has started with amazing success a line of nut butters. The company is The Nutty Peanut.

Mike is growing The Nutty Peanut from online to popup events and is on the shelves in many of the local Lucky's Markets.

Mike might seem like he has "overnight" success but I know there is a lot of hard work behind the scenes that made all this happen. His intensity to achieve a goal helps influence how I approach my business. The grit that it takes to get up each morning to make things happen.

Besides his business acumen, he also is an inspiration in regards to health. He eats a totally plant-based diet and is a heck of a runner.

The other "Pace Car" is Ryan Fletcher. I first came to know about him through his podcast Agent Marketing Syndicate. He has over one hundred episodes and is working on starting a new completely different podcast in the coming months.

Through persistence and continual study of his philosophies some three years ago I became a member of his tribe.

We call ourselves Spartan and Story Athletes.

Becoming a member of his group is the most beneficial business relationship I have. In reflecting, it is not simply a business relationship it is more a band of brothers and sisters that see a better way to do business by impacting the community. By relating through stories, "I like the way that person thinks" not what marketers call "Unique Selling Propositions". By creating multiple streams of income unrelated to real estate that help people achieve goals related to mind, body, relationships, and business.

Ryan or "Fletch" as most call him has one of those minds that work on a different level.

Although I am almost twenty years his senior, when I enter into conversations with him it's like I'm back in high school.

The depth of knowledge and divergent thinking is such that he connects dots that many would not consider connecting.

We had a meeting a couple of weeks ago. About twenty-five of us that share ideas and learn about new ventures that Fletch is working on for us to be a part of.

During a downtime one in our group was working with Fletch on a project and stated "I thought building a business would be more glamorous. It's just hard frickin' work."

I know that behind both Mike and Fletch' s success is a lot of hard frickn' work that no one sees. And that pushes me forward to do the work, take the time and see where the Pace Cars lead me.

Live, Love Matter #IODcommitted #ImpactoftheDay #PoweredbyImpactClub #StoryAthlete

[talhaghafoor2019-blog]

Bohemian Rhapsody is Now Highest-Grossing Music Biopic Ever

Despite mixed reviews, director Bryan Singer's Queen/Freddie Mercury movie Bohemian Rhapsody now stands as the highest-grossing music biopic ever. It's not really surprising that a movie about Queen would be a hit, as there are few musical artists that boast a back catalog full of so many enduring songs. Whether it be the titular track, "Another One Bites the Dust," "Somebody to Love," their "Under Pressure" duet with fellow iconic performer David Bowie, or one of many other hits, Queen's music still lives on today, decades after the early death of Mercury.

Of course, while it's a definite success now, Bohemian Rhapsody hasn't been without controversy. Before it was even released, credited director Bryan Singer was fired by Fox in the middle of production, and Dexter Fletcher was brought on to finish the film. Interestingly, Fletcher ended up fully directing Rocketman, an upcoming biopic of another British rock star, Elton John. Then, once it came out, many Queen fans were put off by some of the many alterations to both the band's and Mercury's personal history.

Yet, while many people took issue with things like Mercury being portrayed as gay rather than bisexual, or Mercury's AIDS diagnosis being moved forward by several years to coincide with Live Aid, most moviegoers embraced the film. Bohemian Rhapsody took the #1 spot domestically in its debut weekend, and has now grossed a whopping $539 million worldwide on a budget of only $52 million, according to the latest numbers from Box Office Mojo. This places it in the top spot both domestically and worldwide when it comes to music biopics.

On the domestic chart, Bohemian Rhapsody sits at $164 million, just barely topping previous record holder Straight Outta Compton, a 2015 biopic of the influential rap group N.W.A. When it comes to total worldwide gross though, Bohemian Rhapsody has no competition. Its $539 million total trounces Straight Outta Compton's $201 million worldwide gross, although to be fair, that film cost half as much to make as Singer's. Other famous music biopics like Walk the Line and Ray proved unable to even cross the $200 million mark.

In a fun side effect of Bohemian Rhapsody's box office dominance, Queen's music has also recently shot back up to the high end of the charts. Considering the amount of great Queen songs featured in the film, such a result isn't shocking. Many who loved Queen before the film likely had that love rekindled, and were inspired to buy their music. Conversely, many younger people who only knew of Queen as the guys who made "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions" were also likely introduced to a world of material they hadn't heard before. One doubts Freddie would've wanted it any other way.

This content was originally published here.

[my-time-and-place-blog]

My Vidcon EU 2017 experience

In August last year, I discovered that Vidcon EU would be organized in Amsterdam. When the early bird ticket sale started I didn’t hesitate for a moment and I bought myself a community ticket. I also participated in the Meet & Greet Lottery and I was assigned to meet Dodie Clark, Oli White and Niomi Smart!! I was very happy with that since Dodie and Oli were my first and second choice, respectively.

DAY 1

On Saturday April 8th I decided to leave the house extra early at, since I had my Meet & Greet with Oli White at 9.30am and I had to pick up my M&G wristbands. I wanted to take the bus at 7.15am, but I totally forgot the bus schedule is different at the weekends (sigh). My sweet mum brought me to the nearest bus station, from where the bus to Amsterdam departed.

When I arrived at the venue RAI Amsterdam conventions centre around 8.30am, I could immediately wait in line for the M&G wristbands since I picked up my community badge the day before. I waited about an hour and a half in line before it was my turn and I was a tiny bit afraid that I wasn’t on time to queue for Oli’s M&G, but I was! By the time it was my turn I was nervous, but I felt calmer than I thought I would be. Oli is so nice! We took a professional photo and I gave him my present and the card. We ended with a hug. That were my 30 seconds of meeting him. It felt so strange to meet someone you’ve been watching for years. As a fan I have the feeling that I know him very well and he knows nothing about me, when I’m thinking about it. I’m just a face in the crowd for them. But anyway, that didn’t make the experience any less great.

After the M&G I went to some panels. I saw the last bits of The Power of Community with Tyler Oakley, John Green and Kati Morton. After that, I went to a panel participating Ricky Dillon, Mamrie Hart and Michael Aranda about ‘Being your true voice’  moderated by Michael Gardner. Hearing these people talk about their experiences of finding their ‘true voice’ in this profession inspire me to find my own ‘true voice’ and let me think about who I am and what I want to pursue in life.

There were a lot of stands and interactive things you could do during the day between panels. There was a Musical.ly stage, where different people performed, who are famous on Musical.ly I guess?? Furthermore, there were different booths from different sponsors and movies and bouncy castles. At one of the booths I met Evan Edinger and I took a picture with him and he signed my badge. He was very nice!

I went to the Q&A of Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla aka SMOSH. Even though I didn’t know them, I got a very good sense of how they are and what kind of content they make. They were fun to watch. I queued for Dodie’s M&G immediately after the Q&A. There were a loooot of people in the queue. I didn’t think it would be so long, but it didn’t matter, because I was going to meet my favourite youtuber/artist. When it was my turn, I gave Dodie a hug and I gave her my presents. We talked about the card I gave her and how that reminded me of her. She signed my badge and I almost wanted to go, when she said: We didn’t take a photo, did we? At that moment I could facepalm myself so hard. We took a very cute picture together. I mean how can it not be cute with her in it?

Meeting Oli and Dodie made me realise that they are just people just like I am. They are just normal, very hardworking people that accomplished more in 21 years then I did. But somehow they show me that it is possible to follow your dreams, if you are willing to work hard. Another creator I’m really impressed by is Tyler Oakley. I went to see his Q&A. He is such a loving, caring and funny person. He seemed to enjoy every question he got and I really admire him for his active role in the LGBTQ+ community.

The last thing of the day was the Saturday Night Featured Creator Show. Most of the seats (900+!!) were filled and all the people were enjoying themselves during all the performances. Kati Morton and Scola Dondo gave a very inspirational speech about mental health and that it is okay to talk about it in some way, about being ‘luscious’, being yourself. Dean and Jack showed a preview of their new season of Jack and Dean Of All Trades, which was very funny. Savannah Brown performed one of her poems and I was very impressed by that. I felt every word she said. Sarah Close performed some songs of her new Caught Up EP.

Two performances that evening were very special to me. One of them was Carrie Hope Fletcher performing ‘Pulled’ from the musical the Addams Family, in which she plays Wednesday Addams. Woow! She can siiiing! She is such an inspiration to me. She literally lives her dream and that on its own drives me to follow my dreams. (I don’t mind that this all sound very cheesy haha) The other performance that really got stuck with me was the last of the evening by MatPat. He opened up about his fear of flying. Long story short, years ago he was in England for an audition for a West end production and his actual flight home to the US, which he missed, was the target of an terrorist attack. The moral of his story was that even though he is still very scared, he didn’t let it define his life. That day he fulfilled a wish of a little boy organised by the Make-A-Wish foundation. That was all such a beautiful speech, I cried. That was the end of a very successful day 1 of Vidcon EU!

 DAY 2

Day 2, Sunday 9th of April, started ironically the same as the day before. The bus I wanted to take wasn’t leaving at the time I wanted to leave. Now my lovely dad brought me to the nearest bus station. Today I would have the M&G with Niomi Smart, but due to a sad event that happened that morning I didn’t feel like queueing, so I left that out. I went to some very good panels instead and I don’t have any regrets for that since the atmosphere was so care free and easy-going. That really helped me not being sad or even thinking about the event.

I started the morning with coffee and the panels A Conversation About Mental Health and There Is A Troll in the Dungeon both moderated by Kati Morton. I didn’t know most of the attendees on the panels, but that was a way for me to get to know new youtubers really. The things I have learned of these panels are: it is good to talk about mental health and if there is no connection between you and your therapist, find another one that you’re comfortable with. Another thing is dealing with trolls. These people are probably just projecting their problems on you, so don’t take their criticism/offenses (too) seriously.

After these quite serious topics I went to the Holy Trinity Q&A. The Holy Trinity, for who doesn’t know who they are, are Grace Helbig, Mamrie Hart and Hannah Hart. They are seriously so funny together and they certainly brightened up my mood.

One highlight of the day was the LGBTQ+ in Online Video panel. I think a lot teens and tweens have been in a situation where they question their sexuality and so do I. It is very important to keep talking about the LBGTQ+ community and as important to educate ourselves about sexuality and the whole spectrum. I want to salute the internet and especially platforms like Youtube (please, fix restricted mode tho…) and Tumblr for bringing up the subject and education. One other thing that happened during the panel that moved me, was a question of a boy in the audience. The boy had got a rainbow flag around his shoulders. He told that he lived in a town that was very religious and the community wasn’t very accepting to LGBTQ+ people, so were his parents. He asked how he could out himself to his parents in this situation. I think he was very brave to ask this question. He got good answers like if you tell them, have a place you can go to after or if the situation escalates. He started crying and I could tell that it was a very big deal to him. I really wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be fine. That question broke my heart to be honest.  And therefore, I absolutely love the fact that he can be totally himself at events like Vidcon. Although, he should be able to be himself anywhere at any time in my opinion.

I also went to a panel about Race & Representation in Online Video, mainly because I wanted to know what I could do as a white female. This panel thought me that starting the conversation or keeping the conversation going about race is a great help to the people who deal with racism or other negativity with respect to race. After that I went to the Rhett & Link Q&A, which I didn’t enjoy that much. I think it was mainly because I didn’t know who they were and I knew nothing about their content.

The Sunday Night Featured Creator Show was an amazing way to end the Vidcon weekend. The highlights of the show were Dodie and Jon Cozart singing their songs. The Fine Bros showed us their newest video before it was released. The Holy Trinity did a funny quiz about their trip in Amsterdam. There was some food tasting on stage and some live gaming on stage. John and Hank Green closed the show with a little speech about Vidcon and how their experiences were of the first Vidcon EU in Amsterdam! I dare to say that this was one of the best weekends I have had in a while!

[mewreviews]

Whiplash Spoiler Review

“But I tried. I actually fucking tried. And that's more than most people ever do. And I will never apologise for how I tried.”

With an unwavering passion to be a top-class drummer, Andrew Nieman is admitted to his music school’s core band and is pushed to the limit by his conductor’s tyrannical teaching methods.

Whiplash is without a doubt one of the most intense cinematic experiences you will ever have. Far more so than most horrors or thrillers, this film will have you in knots with a story so simple and yet so expertly executed. The film is almost excruciating at times with scenes that seem tantamount to torture (such as when Fletcher switches out the drummers constantly for hours on end, to the point where the kit is splattered with blood). It felt like for the entire runtime I was holding my breath, and yet it remained a movie I never wanted to end.

Yet when the ending did come, it was one of pure catharsis, and so justly earned on the part of main character Andrew. No matter where you fall on your judgement of Andrew’s drumming career (be it a monomania that will eventually consume everything in his life, or a passion and talent he should never stop pursuing) you can’t help but be overwhelmed by euphoria during his seemingly endless solo. The decision to make the protagonist’s instrument the drums only adds to the feeling of triumph at the end. While it is a core part of any band, it’s an instrument that’s easy to disregard in terms of the player’s skill. Yet Andrew takes command of the stage, delivering his five-minute solo and demanding total attention which he has justly earned through his unquestionable talent and dogged determination (at one point literally crawling out from his wrecked car and hobbling his way to his performance).

Whether Andrew’s victory is in any way owed to Fletcher is left ambiguous. Throughout the film it’s left unclear whether any sympathy is owed to Fletcher; is he truly trying to get the best out of his students, or is he simply a sadistic bully? He’s a character you’re able to feel such unparalleled hate for, and yet he is still humanised, as you watch him blissfully play the piano at a jazz bar and afterwards joins Andrew for a drink. Personally I feel Fletcher doesn’t deserve the honour of taking credit for Andrew’s skill. While it could be argued that Fletcher finally got his “Charlie Parker” by degrading and humiliating Andrew enough that he succeeded out of pure spite alone, it feels like one he earned by mistake. The malice on his face as he enacted his revenge on Andrew was too genuine to be a cover for anything more; the closing triumph belongs to Andrew alone.

Despite how the characters are interpreted, however, the performances supplied by the two leads are undeniably brilliant. Miles Teller delivers fantastically as the young musician with a dream, slowly transformed from sweet and idealistic into someone with a single-minded passion and unrelenting drive for success. His frustration is palpable, and his determination is at times even frightening (such as when you watch him plaster and then re-plaster his ruined hands). Yet throughout – even with his seemingly heartless decisions in regards to other people – he remains a sympathetic character, and one for whom the audience roots for until the very end. J.K. Simmons as Fletcher is simultaneously inspiring and terrifying; a character you wish you could learn more about whilst simultaneously wanting to punch him in the face. His movements are reminiscent of a wound-up spring, seeming as though at any moment he will snap (which he frequently and violently does). Even with the slightest of hand movements Simmons is able to convey so much, and was highly deserving of his Oscar award.

Story aside, Whiplash is one of the most vividly engaging and beautiful films put to screens in recent years. Detail is paid to the smallest of things, and the significance they carry is undeniable. The camera momentarily focuses on the spit dripping from the instruments after a performance, for example, and in such a quick shot is able to express the enormous amount of effort put into even a single song. The film is dominated by hues of green and gold, subtly expressing Andrew’s fading optimism but growing rage-fuelled willpower. Even the shots of blood on the drum kit are edited in a way to make it seem beautiful. Andrew himself is presented visually in a way contrary to how a musician would normally be depicted. Often drenched in sweat and with bloodied and bandaged hands, Andrew appears more boxer than drummer. The intense toll Fletcher’s teaching has taken on him not only changes him emotionally – as he becomes more obsessed with his art and chooses to isolate himself from his loved ones – but physically, as he appears a totally different person to the enthusiastic and optimistic drummer we first see practising in the opening scene.

Whiplash is a masterful film, and one of the most intense cinema experiences to date. Perfectly crafted and extremely powerful, Whiplash will leave you feeling breathless and exhilarated. Without a doubt, this will be one of the greatest films you watch this year.

5/5

[umusicians]

UM Interview: Mike Ruby

Canadian pop artist Mike Ruby is just getting started. The toronto native moved to New York to attend school and study music, where he began  playing sax with Brooklyn based synth-pop band St. Lucia. This experience led Mike to pursue music as a solo artist, resulting in the release of his debut single “Close” last year which as over 1 million streams on streaming platforms and broke top 40 radio in Canada and on the Billboard Charts. On June 26th, 2020, Mike will be releasing his debut EP ‘You Wrote These Songs’.

Amandah Opoku sat down with Mike to discuss his debut EP ‘You Wrote These Songs’. Check out the interview below!

Amandah Opoku: Mike, thank you for doing this interview today! Before we kick off please tell our readers about yourself and one new artist you've discovered in the last month. Mike Ruby: Thanks for having me. My name is actually Mike Ruby, I was born in Toronto and started my music career as a jazz saxophonist living in NY. I made a U-turn into the singer songwriter lane after playing with some pop bands in New York, spent some time in LA and Nashville writing songs, and am now releasing my first album/EP on June 26th as a pop artist. That’s me in a nutshell. Hmm new artist – she’s really not too new but she is new to me. Fletcher. Her new song “Bitter” is so well written, I heard it for the first time and was a fan. 

AO: What inspired you to pursue a career as an artist? And what drew you to create Pop music? MR: I was always a musician, but I wasn’t moving people with my own words, and I guess I just needed that fulfillment in my life, so picked up a guitar and started writing songs. Being a sideman and a front man are two totally different experiences and connecting with my fans now means everything to me. As a sideman, I played and opened for some pretty big pop acts and fell in love with that type of music and culture.  

AO: In college you played saxophone with synth-band St. Lucia, what did you learn from your experience with your band? Do you think your time playing with the band has directly influenced the music you create? MR: I learned a ton from the front man of that band, Jean. His energy on stage is unparalleled, and every song is so tightly rehearsed, so on stage the band can take it to the next level and interact with the crowd. It has 100% indirectly influenced my music. Jean and I write very differently, and of course come from very different places, but I think he’s one of the most brilliant writers I’ve come across and am honored to have been a part of his project. 

AO: Would you say there are any artists or songwriters that have inspired the music you create and the way you write? MR: I wish I could say one artist, but I really can’t. It’s been a mix of my favorite artists that have their own strengths that find their way into my music subconsciously. For example, I love the way Lauv writes melodies. I love the inflections Julia Michaels and Jessie Reyez put into their songs. The lyrical depth of early John Mayer records and the subtle messages Frank Ocean has in his songs, and not so subtle pockets that Jon Bellion has in his music. Even dating back to the jazz musicians I used to listen to like John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Joshua Redman and Brad Mehldau. They all play a role. 

AO: You'll be releasing your debut EP, You Wrote These Songs on June 26th. What was the writing and recording process like for the record? MR: These were all songs I couldn’t give away as a writer – I had to sing them for myself, so they hold a lot of meaning to me. I got to work with some incredible producers on this record in Toronto, Vancouver and Los Angeles including Ryan Stewart (Carly Rae Jepson) Jamey Heath (Andy Grammer) Joel Stouffer and Ben Nudds. They’re great guys and incredibly talented musical minds, so they made the recording process easy. We had a great time making these songs and hope you have some fun listening to them.

AO: When you began working on You Wrote These Songs, did you have any idea/plan of what type of record you wanted to make? MR: Not. At. All.  I wasn’t even writing for a record, EP or anything to be honest. I was writing songs for other artists, one offs here and there, and before I knew it had written almost a thousand songs in three years between writing songs daily myself and doing lots of cowrites. At a certain point, I had a handful of songs that were written about very important people in my life that I couldn’t let go of, and that’s when the EP/record idea hit me. I needed to say these things out loud, so naturally the title You Wrote These Songs made a lot of sense. 

AO: Thinking about the songs on your EP from a lyrical standpoint, what is your favorite lyric you wrote and why? MR: That’s a tough one to answer. Just took a moment to myself to think about it and there are actually three that come to mind, all with extremely different meanings. One, the heaviest, is from a song I wrote about my dad who passed away when I was in high school. The lyric is “And I get pissed cuz I’ll have kids one day and I know you’ll miss it all. Can I be angry even though it’s not your fault.” It’s blunt and to the point, and the truth in it speaks volumes. Another is in the last song on the record called “The Story Never Ends” and that lyric is “I don’t know when you became my friend, when pencil changed to pen, when every cut began to sting” talking about being in a relationship with someone and then all of a sudden feeling their pain like it’s your own. The last I’d say is from the feature track “Don’t Want You Back (wtf).”  It’s the lyric I love singing the most from the whole record. The song sounds super sweet and melodic, and at first the lyrics are too, but by the end of the first chorus you know what’s up. “What the f%^# is that, I don’t want you back” is the line. It’s about an ex that didn’t deserve you, and we’ve all been there.

AO: “Close” was your debut single which will be included on your upcoming EP. Did the success of the song inform your sound and what you've created on the EP? MR: All the songs were written a year ago, so the sound had already been formed. I’m definitely happy “Close” was the first single though – once you hear that one, you get a good sense for how the record will sound. 

AO: On the EP, what song do you think truly captures the essence, theme and/or message that you want people to take away from the record? MR: I’d have to say the feature track to the record, “Don’t Want You Back (wtf)” because it’s about realizing your self-worth and moving on. The whole EP is a journey about moving forward.

AO: I recently had a chance to listen to the record and “Not Your Fault” is one of my favorites. It's very personal and deep. Can you take me through what the writing and recording process was like for the track? MR: Thank you so much. It’s definitely the most personal on the EP. I co-wrote it with Jamey Heath at his studio in LA. To be honest, a few days before I was in his studio co-writing a pop song for another artist’s project as a writer. It was a great song but nothing too deep. When I went into the studio to work on my own record with Jamey, he said “let’s write something deep today. What’s your muse?” I mentioned a few things like some ex relationships, moving city to city, etc. and he said “OK” with a high pitched voice like yeah we could go there but what else you got? Haha. I told him about my dad, and he said “Yep, we’re writing that.” He started playing voicings on the piano and after we got the chord progression, I started pouring out the words and to be honest trying to hold in the tears. It was a very traumatic experience for me in high school with a lot of unresolved emotions that I’ve since dealt with, so writing about it was difficult and rewarding at the same time. I spent a lot of time refining the lyrics after the session to the point where I finally felt everything was said in the way I wanted, then I went back in for a couple more sessions to record the vocals. “Not Your Fault” is the song on the back of the record that means the most to me, and I think I’m most proud of this one for its vulnerability. 

AO: Going into the release of your debut EP, You Wrote These Songs, what do you want people to take away from the record? MR: I want each of these songs to be about someone in your life. The “You” in the EP title can be about anyone – whoever comes to mind when you listen to each song is meant to be about that person. 

AO: I know we're sitting in an interesting time, given what is going on in the world right now. Were you hesitant to release the EP now? Or even contemplate pushing the release date back? MR: I wasn’t due to Covid-19. It’s such a terrible unfortunate tragedy and pandemic, and no I can’t tour, but I think people are still listening to music online and checking out music videos, so I’ve always been of the mindset to keep pushing forwards. After the video of George Floyd came out though, that’s a whole other story. I was outraged and so hurt. I stopped posting about my project and started posting about equality, human rights, and racism. Today marks 10 days since I saw it, and I have not posted about my own project since, and although I will start to as the EP is coming out soon, I will continue to donate, inform myself and others, and be a part of this movement. We are in the middle of making history for the better right now, and we’re starting to take baby steps in the right direction. We need to continue pushing forwards to see equality and justice and I don’t intend to stop until we do. 

AO: Mike, thank you for sitting down with me! Before we close this interview, is there anything you want to say to your fans and our readers? MR: Thank you for reading! I feel truly blessed to have the best fans out there, and I’m always open to talking to all of you guys about anything. You can find me on all socials @mikerubymusic. I have lots of new music videos and news coming your way, so make sure to follow me on Spotify or your social media of choice. Hope to see you soon at a show after Covid-19 settles down!

Connect with Mike on the following websites: www.mikeruby.com www.twitter.com/mikerubymusic www.facebook.com/mikerubymusic www.instagram.com/mikerubymusic https://www.youtube.com/user/mikerubymusic

[bessiemae]

I do a lot of ranting here.  And when I have something I want to gush about, the internal editor in me says “nobody cares.  Why force people to read about your silly likes?”  Well, shut up editor.  Although I’ll put it behind a cut anyway.

What am I gushing about?  The 2007 movie Music and Lyrics.  I love this movie and will do more analysis than you’d think a romcom warrants.  Now, the part under the cut.  Um, this movie is old, but I will talk about how it ends.  Not that there’s some big exciting twist or reveal, but if you read, you’ll know exactly how it ends, even though it shouldn’t be hard to figure out.

Okay, summary.  Which I would say quick, but I don’t know if I’m capable of that.  Hugh Grant is Alex Fletcher a washed up former 80′s pop star.  The latest teen sensation (played by Haley Bennett) wants him to write a song for her and sing it with her, which will bring him back into the spotlight.  The thing is, he can only write music, he can’t write lyrics.  But, the woman who’s filling in to water his plants, Sophie Fisher (Drew Barrymore) turns out to have a talent for writing.  They collaborate and fall in love and because it’s not a subversive story, it ends happily ever after.

Okay, so besides just liking the catchy music, I love the growth and relationship of the main characters.  Each one is lacking in self confidence and the other one helps build them up.  Sophie has been afraid to write after getting burned by a college writing professor.  So there are two scenes where one of them boosts the confidence of the other.  Sophie runs into her former professor (who she slept with previously and who wrote a book casting her as a temptress) while she and Alex are having dinner and he (Alex) encourages her to go and confront the professor and say all the things she wanted to say to him.  And when she tries but can’t manage, he steps in and tells the professor off.Then (or before, because I can’t recall the chronology of the events) Alex is performing some of his old hits at a fair or amusement park, because that’s what his career has come to. And he’s hit by a wave of embarrassment, seeing himself as this washed up guy still singing old music that no one wants.  And Sophie tells him that his music is good and it makes people happy and he should be proud of it.  I love that each character gets to help and be helped.

And then there are the tough love scenes.  They write this ballad, but the singer wants them to make it sexier.  Which will ruin the song, which is good the way it is.  Alex is willing to do anything, because he’s only worried about having a hit.  So, he’s not willing to fight for the song the way it is, and Sophie calls him out on it.  Then, when they’re trying to write the last verse of the song before the deadline, Sophie says she’s not inspired, she can’t write at the moment and has to wait until she is.  And, Alex tells her what any want to be writer needs to hear.  You don’t wait for inspiration to write.  And then, he says something pretty mean.  And I don’t know if it’s meant to be something he says out of anger that’s totally baseless, or if there’s supposed to be merit, but it’s still wrong to say because it’s still said out of anger and not the desire to help.  But, both characters take the valid criticisms to heart.  She brings herself (alone) to finish the lyrics and he goes and argues for the song to be sung the way it was intended. 

And it ends with the concert, him performing a song/apology, and the two of them living happily ever after as professional song writers.

Another thing I like is that while they’re flawed, they’re nice people. They care about each other.  Even though Alex talks about how everything is just business when saying why he’s willing to sell himself short, he shows earlier that he listens to Sophie explain where her beaten down self confidence comes from (and this is even before they become lovers).  They build each other up.  And I love that there’s no other man or woman as the obstacle.  No “this person is super bland so you don’t feel bad about them getting dumped”  or “you know the person is meant to be bland enough that you don’t care, but you resent the movie for making the character like that, so you can’t really root for the main couple even though you’re supposed to”.  There’s also no silly misunderstanding.  The conflict between them that needs to be resolved is professional.  It’s about the work.  And they resolve it by being willing to do what needs to be done for the work. 

And yes, it’s a frothy story and there’s clearly an age difference, but they’re both adults and there’s no power imbalance.  But, it’s just nice to think there was some thought into the characters and their relationship and what makes sense for them.

So, I’ll end there.  Most people, when they go on about some piece of entertainment or fandom they love, it comes out like a well crafted essay with some deep psychological insight thrown in.  I feel like I just word vomited the plot with a few lines of “And that’s why I like it and you should too.”  Oh, well.  At least I wrote about something I love.