#toskad

[zorkaya-moved]

[ NECK ] ― your muse kisses my muses’ neck.

@toskad

[ NECK ] ― your muse kisses my muses’ neck.

It was rare for Saeran to initiate such intimate moments, but it seems today was one of his small steps forward towards being more honest and more open with his desires. She hopes he stops being worried about her, there is nothing more she wants than to be touched by him and him alone. Now that there were not other men and women in her life who could satisfy her, Sokolova had to hold back herself for the sake of her beloved as she didn’t wish to overstimulate him and tire him out. He was still recovering, still working out to raise his stamina, still on his path to feel better. 

Though, she doesn’t hate it. If anything, it makes her happy. The moment his lips touch her neck, her golden eyes widen in surprise as she would hold the book in her hands. She’d never been so cautious of everything she does aside from missions where life and death were on the line, but at this very moment, what was one the line was Saeran’s initiative in this intimate moment. It felt nice, the warmth of his lips on her cooler skin. Her finger tightened their hold on the book just enough to keep her from saying or doing anything to scare him off. Zarina wanted him to go forth, to do more and to be more comfortable with this on his own time. This is why she didn’t wish to stop him; no, she wanted him to continue. 

“Saeran...” Her voice careful, soft, with a note of sweetness laced into the pronunciation of his name. Upon noticing his immediately stop, hands that rested on her waist tensing up, Sokolova would continue right away. “Don’t stop.” It’s a gentle request, lips pressed together to keep herself from jumping on him. No, she wants more of this, more of these warm kisses and more of these touches. He is getting bolder and she wants to encourage it all. “I like it... a lot. It feels nice.”

[asterismae]

                     𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 ?

perception is a thin line - chaotically enveloping minds according to their own will  ╱  toying with the fabric of 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 itself. 

    a fabric Rika would grasp as hers, a fabric that is under her command.

 SO ; what is real? 

        𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 — 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥.

  " saeran - " his name is a whisper - a showcase of a conversation that has began to twist at its seams ;

   " there are many occurrences within the tendency of this sacred space. in us, there can be found lies, insecurities, pride & yet - pretending to care over you is NOT one of them. " 

   (  what is real ?  i am real. i am real. and he must believe me. )

   " --- please do not believe that I care not for you. indeed, I have broken many. . . things. . . however - a tear between us, that is not one I will allow. . .

              𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞."

     ╱         @toskad

[lovefell]

@toskad​ said ❝  whatever else happens,  if i have you,  i’m content.  ❞  /  prompt.

yoosung often wonders how he got so lucky to have saeran in his life, if he had done something wonderful in the life before. he can’t help but cup saeran’s cheeks in his hands when his boyfriend says that, nothing but love in yoosung’s eyes as brushes noses with the one he loves more than anything. ‘ i feel the same way, bub. ‘ he says with a soft hum, pressing a kiss to saeran’s lips before pressing kisses all over his boyfriend’s face, ever so through &. making sure he doesn’t miss any stops. ‘ i’m so lucky to have you, you know that, right ? ‘

[tanteichi]

❛  how do you even stop ?  ❜ //for yoosung !!<3

🐝  *  ―  𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐄  𝐒𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒. | [Accepting]

“You don’t know how to stop?” Yoosung repeated with slightly widened eyes as he watched Saeran move across the surface of ice. He kicked himself forward, skating over to the male and only slowing down once they were side by side. He lifted a gloved hand to stifle the giggles which threatened to leave him. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you! You start by pushing the flat part of the skate’s blade and scrape against the ice, and then you push your foot out and bend your knees. This’ll bring you to a complete stop.” 

As he explained the process, Yoosung would let go of Saeran’s hand and demonstrate each step, stopping in his tracks and turning around to face him, mentally preparing himself to help if Saeran were to slip and fall. “Okay, now you try.”

[tiltedstar]

@toskad​ said “ if… if this is the last time i’ll ever see you, i need you to know… i have loved, and will never stop loving, you. you hear me? i love you. beyond whatever happens next. i love you. “  /  prompt.

the words echo in yoosung’s brain, he remembers every last word, the way it made his heart ache; even more so when saeran was unable to be found the day after. a series of events that left yoosung going into breakdown after breakdown, unable to come to terms with saeran being missing in the slightest. he feels like he isn’t present in his own life, going through the motions of being a college student after graduating without saeran by his side. 

even as he puts on a happy face for everyone else, he wonders if it is painfully obvious how much he has fallen apart since his boyfriend’s disappearance. if anyone notices the heavy bags under his eyes, desperately trying to hide it with little makeup he has, if they know the constant dreams of being with saeran only to wake up alone. but, he feels like they never do. they just see a video game obsessed college student, never seeming to care enough to look further into it, that maybe there is a reason why he buries himself in schoolwork and video games; trying to escape the shattering truth that he won’t ever come to terms with.

saeran is gone.

[tiltedsun]

@toskad said “ so, i saw a maternity pillow in the baby store on the way here, and i thought i’d get it for you. you said you were having trouble sleeping, right? “  /  prompt.

if there was one thing that yoosung could note about all of this, is that being pregnant is definitely something to get used to, but besides that; he hasn’t had much to complain about, but it’s only been four months so far, who knows what else he will have to deal with. regardless, he knows that saeran will be by his side for it all and he can’t help but feel so excited for all of this; every little moment, good or bad, he will take it all if it means getting to hold their little one at the end. ‘ i thought you were my maternity pillow, sae. ‘ yoosung says teasingly, accepting the pillow either way and situating it so he can lay down with it, immediately sighing in relief. ‘ i love you so much, you deserve so many cuddles and i feel so sleepy already. ‘

[nulltune]

just gonna gently hold her hands bc she’s precious and he thinks she’s as fragile as a petal doomed to fall:’) -from ray ur welcum<3

          A SINGLE WHITE ROSE, blooming in spite of the winter's adversities, ever-stoic. And yet it is a fragile thing —— a fleeting sort of beauty, in arm's reach; but in a way, distant. As slender hands are taken into larger ones (a difference that doesn't go unnoticed, noted silently), her gaze is drawn along with it, though the only reaction from maiden would come from the slight parting of her lips. A glance to Ray, doe eyes widening a fraction; hazel eyes appearing just a bit brighter. When eye contact is made, her gaze would jitter downwards again, to their connected hands.

          It's such a gentle touch... Though a porcelain doll she may resemble, she doesn't see it herself. Hakuno Kishinami thinks of herself much harsher; an empty, empty thing rather than beautiful blooms. Not to be treated gently / kindly / like this. Such things are / such things should be far beyond her reach — and yet here it is right now. And here she is right now, not wanting to pull away.  ❝ ...‎Your hands are very warm. ‎❞  Commented in a soft voice, as if afraid to disrupt this tender moment.

          Then her hands would slowly move— to lace their hands together, in a gesture just as soft.

unprompted,  always accepting!

[celesticlnstcrs-aa]

@toskad​ asked: “Well, this is awkward…” //from unknown to isao!

“ Hey! Don’t give me that  look! You can’t tell me you don’t just pretend your a  singer. ”

The painter huffed, glaring up at his boyfriend. He was jamming out to one of the many songs his  eldest brother composed. Even if he didn’t have a good relationship with him, it didn’t stop him from listening to it though. Normally he wouldn’t feel embarrassed, but the stare he was getting was  riling him up.

Embarrassment Meme ;; accepting 1. Singing loudly into an inanimate object as if it’s a microphone.

[elysialm]

@toskad​

His eyes look pained, she notices. The same way Aponia’s eyes were dulled yet still beautiful in their light blue hue, but this sight makes her wish to immediately walk forward. No matter what others say, Elysia witnesses the beauty of everyone; the beauty that sleeps deep within one’s soul. Thus, her step forward is akin to a curious child whose innocence and honest gaze would pierce through the cynicism and hardships created by the unforgiving reality. 

“ Are you the one who takes care of these flowers?! They are so beautiful! ”

[stellarismegistus]

『 ↳ ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ ✧･ﾟ @toskad;

A sigh escaped the astrologist's lips, as she looks at her coin pouch that now has, once again, no more mora. She glanced over at the culprit—her huge bag now filled with all sorts of astrology-related books. It was a huge price to pay, but she just had to get these. Who knows what could greatly increase her power? Not only that, she still had questions of her own about the stars and the universe. Any research or material she could get a hold of, she was determined to purchase them all. But archons, these were heavy. Too heavy in fact. She needed one more pair of arms.

❝ Excuse me. You. Over there. Do you mind giving me a hand?❞

[zorkaya-moved]

[ BREASTS ] ― your muse massages my muses’ breasts.

@toskad

This moment is adored by her. A bright blush on Saeran’s face as his hands cover her luscious chest, gently squeezing the mound and making her let out a soft sigh or a whimper. He must feel it, doesn’t he? The way her nipples stood hard, pocking at the center of his palms as he continued his massage, his exploration. Her golden gaze softened with adoration and affection as she indulged in this attention. It was her inquiry, her plea for him to do this and she was having the time of her life. The way his eyes would dart to look at her face when she would let out a sound as if to check if he hurt her, but she would always smile at him with love flickering in her eyes and a nod to let him know to continue. 

“ Mhmm, you can apply more pressure to your hold, ” she chuckles, not exactly knowing how to tell him yet that he could honestly suck on them and be rougher with her, play with her nipples or even lightly bite on them. “ Your hands are so warm. ”

And they were, but it was not surprising. With how he reacted to her inquiry, the way he blushed, the way he would nod in shyness but eagerness to please her. What wouldn’t she do for this man when he gives her everything but still remains himself? It’s a short list, really. Right now, she watches him and watches how he studies her reactions. It makes her wonder if he will use this knowledge in the future when they are even more comfortable with each other. It’s an intimate moment, but it doesn’t bring out the passionate lust that usually awakens inside of her. No, it’s something different. It’s a softer moment of physical intimacy, a pleasant time spending. 

Once again, he looks up at her and Zarina’s gaze lingers on his parted lips as if he was about to ask something but she interrupts before he says. 

“ Kiss me, Saeran, ” her voice soft but affectionately demanding, her playful smile met with a smile of his own as he moves just a bit to bring his lips closer to hers and she would close erase the distance by pushing herself up with her elbows. His lips will forever be her salvation, she indulges in this all too much, but he is hers and she is his until the end of time. 

[asterismae]

❛ don’t pretend that you cared about me. ❜

                   &. 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

   actions cannot be perceived without CONSEQUENCES.

  like snow melting against inevitable spring, does her RULING come to an end. does it all slip away. what an odd thing, it is. to watch your life crumble TWICE. 

   “  saeran  -  “  it is lifeless, it is all lifeless & does she ponder :  ‘what is the meaning of life?’ ‘is this real ?’ the silhouette of her most favored believer : who once was. she will not swallow this reality. never.

  “  saeran,  please.  ”  her voice sounds foreign to herself sometimes ; it is noise under water. long and distorted. do others perceive her voice as strange ? is this real ?

   “  please don’t leave ;  you’d be gravely mistaken to think I do not care over you.  ” he’s a mirror to her, empty - he is hollow. her hand reaches out, denial arrives in the form of a push. he will not allow her touch.

  he has denied me. 

        he has denied me.

anger arrives. it is quiet. it is ferocious. or perhaps it is grief. grief is a powerful emotion, is it not? tears are flowing freely, time and space bend, bow before her -

   “ do not leave me. DO NOT LEAVE ME SAERAN. DO NOT FORSAKE ME AS I HAVE NEVER FORSAKEN YOU ! ! DO NOT LEAVE ME ! ” 

  she awaits for warmth. she awaits for forgiveness. she wishes to be saved from herself. 

none come.

[tanteichi]

yuuri && saeran . / @toskad

“you want to take pictures?” curiosity floods the skater’s features, head cocked to the side as a tiny, barely visible smile forms upon his lips. “you can, but it’s really not that impressive. . .i just need to get more warmed up and i’ll be able to land that triple axel again.”

[tiltedstar]

@toskad said 8. after believing one muse was dead, the other rushes towards them and kisses them upon discovering that they had survived.  /  prompt.

the relief that yoosung feels is indescribable upon seeing saeran come out of the car with saeyoung, his thoughts are rushing; a mixture of worry, happiness, relief and love fills him. he is almost immediately rushing over to them, pulling saeran into his arms as tears begin to freely fall down his cheeks, he can’t help the sob that leaves him; repeating his boyfriend’s name like a prayer, far too emotional to find the words he wanted to say. 

he pulls back just enough to look at saeran, cupping his face in his hands as he manages to somehow cry harder than before, pressing a kiss to saeran’s lips almost urgently. pulling back just for a moment, resting his forehead against saeran’s, closing his eyes and just allowing himself to feel his presence; something that he had missed beyond words.

[tiltedsun]

from their father had found them and began having his sons stalked once again, to their failed attempt to get to a safe house, to waking up from a two week long coma with his love nowhere in sight only to be told by his brother that he was gone and even missed his funeral by a day. one goddamn day.

even after his voice came back from his irrepressible screams and sobs, he hadn't dared open his mouth.

the day he was discharged, saeyoung had brought him to yoosung's grave where he laid next to until sundown when he had to request for help to get him back home where he was kept on constant watch. though, there wasn't much to watch when he hadn't left his bed in months. unshowered and even still wearing the clothes he changed into when leaving the hospital; they were of course yoosung's.

when he's not sleeping he's either found staring at his favorite picture of him that he keeps beside him or simply staring at nothing. his phone hadn't been touched since before the attack sent by their father who was now in jail due to "leaked" information.

things were supposed to be good. he was in recovery and was doing so well. unfortunately he stopped going and when saeyoung paid her more for three in home sessions a week - for an hour he'd just continue on doing as he had been. really saeran had just stopped living. he wasn't meant to live in a world without yoosung and the thought of living another day without him makes him sick to his stomach. he just thought what he was doing was the closest he could possibly be to him and yet it still wasn't enough.

so how is saeran dealing with yoosung's death? short answer; he isn't and truthfully he doesn't know if he ever will.

prompt.

[yukitscne]

“please tell me you didn’t eat that.”

random dialogue prompts ✧･ﾟ accepting ･ﾟ✧ @toskad

'...Didn't eat what?' It's obvious by the way he's talking that his mouth is full of food, and he's hoping that what he ate from one of the many plates before him was the offending dish, though he has a look on his face which is complicit with guilt. He knew he shouldn't eat someone else's food, but who could blame him when his stomach had been rumbling so loudly at him?