#RIKAS CONSEQUENCES OF HER ACTIONS!!!

[thepersonperson]

The Reproductive Horror of JJK Part 1 (The Loss of Bodily Autonomy)

Part 2

Notes before we start.

1) This analysis deals heavily with topics of nonconsent, grooming, abuse, reproductive manipulation, and pregnancy. Please proceed with caution.

2) This post was inspired by @hermitw

3) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

4) Written as of JJK 265.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface 

This was written with the assumption you've also read these other analyses:

Thoughts on Sukuna and Kenjaku’s relationship as of JJK 258.

Please give it a quick glance at least.

Quiet Horror

Jujutsu Kaisen is a unique piece of horror writing to me because the most upsetting aspects rely almost entirely on implication. Immensely triggering topics such as sexual abuse and rape are never shown, only implied. I personally have difficulty consuming/cannot consume media that depicts these kinds of things graphically, which is why JJK’s framing of it intrigues me. Rather than being sent into a panic, I find myself deeply unnerved. I’ve decided to call this “quiet horror” since I don’t know how else to describe it.

The quiet horror of JJK has been there since the start—the dehumanization, the loss of autonomy, the idea someone’s body does not belong to them and therefore ok to use… It’s right there in your face starting with Yuji becoming Sukuna’s vessel. But the horror is not just that those things occur, it’s that hardly anyone recognizes this as a problem.

These insidious ideas are persistent across the narrative and accepted. And its primary victims are the female characters.

Misogyny

The fascinating thing about misogyny in JJK is how it is rarely outright depicted. Characters will talk about generational abuse spawned by it, but we never actually see it in action until Naoya. And even that is mostly implied. 

That’s how it is in real life too. When people experience overt misogyny, it’s often when they’re isolated. For example a family gathering where the men leer at girls and say horrendous things is witnessed by only those attending. If one was never around this, the only way they’re made aware of it is by a victim discussing it.

And this is exactly what happens with the Zenins.

What’s troubling about this exchange is Momo laying out everything wrong with systemic misogyny and that’s it. She offers no solution to it because she has none. Nobara is told, this is reality and you need to accept it.

Mai falls into the same defeatist trappings, angry at Maki for trying to do something about it.

You can’t really hold this against her. She’s been abused to an extent Maki wasn’t aware of and Maki is the only person Mai can lash out at without consequence.

To be clear, it is heavily implied that Naoya molested her. Some of the first words out of his mouth are him sexualizing his underage cousins. And later as a curse, he taunts Maki for being an adult with Mai. 

It’s easy to dismiss this as Naoya mocking Mai for not reaching adulthood. However, Mai has incestuous thoughts about Megumi and Maki (seeing them as her first crushes per the fanbook), which can be a very unfortunate side effect experienced by incest victims (huge content warning for the linked source). Combine that with the knowledge of Naoya’s earlier sexualization and the implication is heavy.

Mai’s abuse is not the only one framed this way. Naoya’s mother is without a face or name. The only hint of her abuse is the word いっぱい (ippai) which means many. Naoya has many older siblings who aren’t named. He is the next head before Gojo’s sealing due to his Cursed Technique (CT) being the same as his father’s. From this it can be inferred his mother was treated like livestock and used by Naobito until she produced a worthy heir. 

Rika’s character profile is included here because her story is much like Mai’s—her abuse at the hands of her father is heavily implied. Her intense dislike of older men, being aware of predatory gazes as a child, and even using that for manipulation—these are all traits child victims of sexual assault may display (huge content warning for the linked source).

It’s hard to pick up on these things unless you’re in the know. But it is there and it is consistent. …And most of the cast doesn’t do much about it. Maki and Rika are different in that regard. They react to these transgressions violently, killing their abusers (and in Maki’s case the enablers too). Neither of them are in the wrong for doing so. It’s just really sad that they had to take matters into their own hands because no one else would stop it.

Hidden in Plain Sight

The misogyny female characters experience is very subdued and never graphic. Creepy behavior towards them is never shown outright, it’s all implied. We don’t see Naoya leer at Mai, we hear him discuss her figure in her absence. (I think that’s what helps make this less triggering. We don’t have to see them be victimized.) The same cannot be said of the male characters.

Ui Ui is a character that makes most people extremely uncomfortable because the grooming he experiences is in your face, pedophilic, and incestuous. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as a ruthless capitalist, Mei Mei exploits her brother this way for the sake of money.

Through warped affection she has convinced a child that his body belongs to her and that he is only to use it for her. 

What makes this situation go from bad to worse is that everyone around them just tolerates it. The most opposition we see to this relationship is Yuji side eyeing them. Otherwise people are more than happy to look the other way and even enable it by paying for their services.

This contradiction is especially glaring when it comes to Gojo, who very much is against the enjoyment of youth to be stolen away from his students. Why does Gojo pay for and tolerate this woman who is very clearly preying on her brother? Is it because Ui Ui seems happy with situation?

Well, I think it’s because he’s used to it too.

To acknowledge that what Mei Mei is doing as wrong and intervening would be admitting to himself that he was taken advantage of as a child. It’s not like it killed him, you know? He’s strong and he’s beautiful. Everyone wants him for his body. That’s just how things work.

In the fanbook Gege says that Gojo can never be fully honest with a woman. And that is a response to the question: “He (Gojo) seems to be aware of his own handsomeness, does he want to have a partner?”

It’s a bit concerning that Gojo is avoidant with women while having a history of them attempting to prey on him as a child. It doesn't help that in the Gojo Booklet interview, Gege reveals that Gojo would apparently be a sugar baby to someone much older than him if he didn't have to be a sorcerer.

The framing of these scenes as comedic is very uncomfortable. It’s a bit too similar to how male victims are portrayed in real life too. I’m not sure if this is intentional on Gege’s part, but regardless the result for me is horror. These terrible things are happening and nothing is being done about it.

Ui Ui and Gojo are taken advantage of by these adults because of what their bodies can do for them. This is a recurring theme in JJK not much different from how the women and girls are treated by the men of the Zenins. All of this stems from dehumanization that results in objectification. 

I’ve said before that Gojo and Sukuna are twin flames. And in this aspect they’re very similar I think. Something awful happened to Sukuna right in our faces and most of the readerbase didn’t take it seriously because he’s The Strongest and a man.

This is sexual assault point blank. A naked person forcibly put her body against Sukuna and he didn’t want that to happen. And just like everyone else, Yorozu did this because she wants Sukuna’s body for herself.

It’s framed like a joke, but the horror persists. Sukuna is going catatonic here in part because losing means entering a marriage he has no interest in. The implication here is distressing—Sukuna sees this as losing his bodily autonomy and being raped for the rest of his life. Likening that to death is understandable.

Hopefully you can see the pattern now. Sexual assault and exploitation is commonplace in JJK. It’s just subtle enough to make people vaguely uncomfortable without making them realize it’s ongoing theme. That’s the quiet horror of JJK.

The Dehumanization of Vessels

Vessels represent everything that makes my skin crawl in JJK. Someone’s body no longer belongs to themself—it’s a thing, a container that is for someone else to use. They aren’t even afforded the dignity of their name most of the time, being referred to as Someone’s Vessel by others.

Itadori Yuji

It goes without saying, Yuji’s dehumanization is the most blatant. He’s called Sukuna’s Vessel by most of the people around him and slated to be executed for the crime of existing as it. The other teenagers around his age are taught this dehumanization by those much older than him.

It’s absurd. Despite Yuji being born with and living in this body of his for 15 years, it’s suddenly not his. All because Sukuna “tainted” it.

And look at this declaration from Uraume: “Whose body do you think that is?!”

They phrase this as if it was never Yuji’s to begin with. 

On some level that is true, Kenjaku created Yuji to be the perfect cage for Sukuna. Uraume didn’t know that the time Yuji was literally bred into existence by Kenjaku to be a tool, but it’s interesting nonetheless. It’s even more interesting that Kenjaku is not the only one guilty of claiming a child’s body from birth for use by an adult. Tegen has a whole bloodline that gives them vessels for consumption.

Star Plasma Vessels

Amanai Riko is introduced as The Star Plasma Vessel while naked in a tub. Symbolically this is striking—she is a blank slate that can only be projected onto. Clothing reflects a person’s lifestyle, personality, and tastes. Riko being denied this in her introduction demonstrates her lack of autonomy. 

And just like how the Kyoto kids were groomed into dehumanizing Yuji, she is groomed into dehumanizing herself by the adults around her. It’s ok that she’s a vessel and someone else will use her body to live because it’s for the greater good.

Those aren’t her true feelings though. Deep down she wants to have her body and her life. And an adult still winds up taking that away from her. 

Isn’t it interesting how Gojo does this same song and dance to himself as The Strongest? Knowing this history and his adamancy towards Yuji’s autonomy (especially in the light novels) is all the more heart wrenching.

But this didn’t start with Yuji, it started with Riko. …on Tengen’s orders.

It’s strange that the individual taking away the lives of hand-picked young girls would be this considerate, right?

JJK never tries to frame characters as completely evil at all times. I appreciate that because it makes depictions of abuse far more realistic. We don’t see Naobito abuse his wife or enable Naoya, we see him half-drunk fighting like a pro without openly antagonizing Maki. If you didn’t know about the Zenin Clan, he’d just be a funny old man. This dichotomy is often why abuse victims aren’t believed. The people they tell only know the good side. And someone who is capable of that goodness can’t possibly be that bad. 

It’s the same way for Tengen. They’re not a creep that salivates over young girls, they’re a calm and reasonable individual who has convinced themself and many others that these actions are necessary. Yuki is the only person that calls them out for how screwed up this all is.

Before Gojo, she was The Strongest. And before Riko, she was the Star Plasma Vessel. Her body and her life was going to be given away in service to someone much older than her under the guise of a necessary evil perpetuated by religion. She rejected that and escaped her fate by becoming uncontrollably strong.

Yuki has every right to be this angry. What Tengen is doing is very messed up. All kinds of excuses and softenings are made for them, but in the end they are using the bodies of young girls to sustain themself. That’s why it’s all the more horrifying that these girls’ souls are still present and coherent enough to speak.

I really like that Yuki won’t let Tengen know what they’re saying. She’s right to assume that Tengen will just excuse whatever comes from it. However, the fact she’s this angry implies those voices aren’t anything pleasant.

Incarnation

The horror of being trapped in a body that no longer belongs to you doesn’t just exist for Tengen’s Plasma Star Vessels, it’s the very foundation of Kenjaku’s vessel incarnation. Which of them came up with this idea is first unknown. They ultimately do the same things to vessels but for very different reasons.

Incarnation works on two layers of screwed up:

1) The host’s soul is suppressed to the point where the invader cannot detect them.

2) It’s next to impossible to return them to who they were once before.

Following the quiet themes around sexual assault, this bears an uncanny resemblance to victims dealing with the aftermath of such an event. Your body no longer feels like it belongs to you, becoming invisible to those who favor the perpetrator, forever tainted after being used by another.

And following the quiet themes around misogyny, this becomes reproductive horror. A body stripped of autonomy and permanently changed after being forced to give someone else new life—Incarnation is a visceral depiction of forced pregnancies.

Pregnancy Horror (Kenjaku)

I think it’s deliberate that mothers in JJK are hardly given faces or names. That’s all a misogynistic society wants them for anyways. Their bodies are to produce someone worthwhile. A tool for those in power to use for their own ends. 

Our first introduction to this is Kamo’s mother, who despite playing a central role in his life, remains unnamed. She gives birth to a worthy heir of the Kamo Clan and is immediately discarded. 

Thankfully Kamo eventually abandons his clan in favor of supporting his mother. Learning a hard lesson from Maki, he seems to conclude that clans existing through misogynistic practices cannot be reformed into a place for women. 

And this misogyny of the Kamo Clan’s is historical. Enough for Kenjaku to take the place of Meiji-era Kamo Notoroshi to commit the most heinous sexual abuses known so far. And despite this history, the modern Kamo Notoroshi is named after him. Another awful secret known by those in power that is never fully condemned since they ultimately benefit from treating women like broodmares.

Death Painting Wombs

The Kamo Clan’s greatest sin is the coverup of Kenjaku’s actions as Kamo Notoroshi. I’ll be going much more into depth with its severity, be warned.

We’ll start with the facts. The faceless and nameless mother of Choso and his 9 brothers was raped by Kenjaku and a cursed spirit 9 times and had those fetuses aborted 9 times. 

I’ve been on about the loss of bodily autonomy so I’ll be focusing on the abortion process itself. Historical abortions were incredibly dangerous things. Though they varied by region, a lot of the methodology converges.

I will quote the favored methods in historical Japan directly from this article:

“Natural methods included drinking poisonous substances or herbal concoctions, all of which lacked a scientific basis. Many had adverse effects. Other means included acupuncture, cold water immersion, and vaginally inserting sharp objects such as burdock roots to break the amniotic sack.”

Kenjaku is someone that does not care about others’ suffering since everyone is just a thing to be played with. I doubt the victims of these experiments were offered any pain relief. Choso’s mother was made to endure one of these methods 9 times.

When Mahito feeds one of the fetuses to a man, we can see that it is slightly smaller than their palm. Here’s a helpful guide for the size of a fetus by week based on the size of a fruit.

I think a lime or lemon best represents the size and shape. A palm sized fetus is somewhere around 12–16 weeks old. Methods that involve inducing a miscarriage via ingesting medicine or poison decrease drastically after 8–12 weeks. (I’m basing this off the abortion pill that actually works.)

Kenjaku wanted to make sure the fetuses remained intact, so inducing a miscarriage by puncturing the amniotic sac to trigger labor-like contractions was most likely the chosen method. I’m not sure if Kenjaku can use Reversed Cursed Technique (RCT) on others to heal them, but that would allow for C-sections to be possible too.

It takes several weeks or months to become pregnant again after a miscarriage. Let’s standardize this as a range of 2–24 weeks. (Based on the earliest known conception at 2 weeks and the recommended conception time of 6 months.) Choso’s mother endured this without pain management 9 times.

12–16 weeks of pregnancy.

2–24 weeks for conception.

9 Times.

She endured these rapes and abortions ranging anywhere from 126–360 weeks or 2.4–6.9 years. 

I’m harping on this point because unless you know the details, this bit gets glossed over. The struggles of those who are pregnant both willingly and not are often downplayed or kept out of sight. Whatever symptoms she had for the first trimester of pregnancy (0-12 weeks) were repeated without support and knowing it was to be terminated 9 times over.

Here is a list of possible symptoms for the first trimester from the Cleveland Clinic.

Sore Breasts

Nausea: "Morning sickness is one of the telltale signs of early pregnancy. Despite its name, it can last all day and all night."

Mood Swings: "The sudden rush of hormones may put you on a rollercoaster of emotions. You may alternate between feeling anxious or scared to excited or weepy within a span of 30 minutes. It may be helpful to talk through your feelings with a friend or your partner.

Fatigue

Frequent Urination: "Your uterus begins to grow to support the pregnancy. It may begin pressing on your bladder, causing you to need to pee more often."

Acne or Other Skin Changes

Mild Shortness of Breath

I do not blame Choso for only referring to this as Kenjaku toying with his mother. The full breadth of her suffering is not something her child should have to bear.

Kenjaku repeats a similar kind of trauma for every incarnation born of a human made to swallow an object. Their bodies don’t belong to them anymore—they’re just hosts to the life of someone they never wanted to have.

To what extent the incarnated know they will be inflicting this harm on others is unknown. It’s just very uncomfortable knowing that Kenjaku created this method in a way that makes the violation of bodies mandatory. 

Tengen

This obsession with forcing pregnancies onto others does not end with incarnation or the death painting wombs. Kenjaku’s absorption of Tengen is a culmination of these experiments. 

Tengen is turned into a pregnancy. Who we’ve established to be hosting a mass of young girl’s bodies. The yonic imagery is incredibly overt for this process.

Tengen is put into a womb that resembles a vagina before becoming a fetus. Kenjaku’s Domain Expansion (DE) contains the literal decapitated heads of the pregnant. (More faceless women being used for their bodies.)

The DE name itself refers to Garbhadhatu which is the Womb Realm in Buddhism. You could translate this as all-enveloping womb.

What this symbolically means, I have no idea. There is, however, a consistent, misogynistic disregard for consent and the bodies of those who can bear children when it comes to Kenjaku. And that’s horrifying.

Sukuna 

Initially Kenjaku bears the Merger pregnancy using the stolen dead body of Geto Suguru. So even though Kenjaku consents to this pregnancy, the person whose body is being used for this doesn’t get to have a say in it.

But we already know how upsetting that is. We’ve seen how much this has pissed off Gojo Satoru who blames himself for his loved one’s defilement. What’s not being discussed in depth is Sukuna’s being inadvertently made a victim from this.

Sukuna’s fingers, a cursed object explicitly made by Kenjaku, are able to create cursed wombs. Since these fingers were created long before the death painting wombs, it appears that Kenjaku’s first attempts to birth evolved humans started with him.

Note how the finger bearers have 4 eyes, just like Sukuna.

I’ve been over why Kenjaku would target Sukuna and how Sukuna does not desire relationships or progeny and how his strength has prevented Kenjaku from forcing that on him directly. What I’m trying to draw attention to is how this appears to be the start of Kenjaku trying to workaround his boundaries without getting killed.

Knowing the extent to which Kenjaku is willing to turn others’ bodies into breeding stock makes the fact Sukuna’s fingers are essentially capable of birthing powerful curses very alarming.

Kenjaku didn’t stop there. The binding vow between them was still made to produce these cursed objects and the context of its formation is still missing. The other culling game players make it very clear Kenjaku either manipulated or tricked them into becoming cursed objects. There is not a single named character Kenjaku didn’t betray in some fashion after misleading them with false promises.

For Sukuna, Yuji being a cage instead of a vessel already indicated Kenjaku was not being honest with him. I think there’s more to it than that though. The details of the Merger and what activates it are something Sukuna and Uraume do not fully understand. Kenjaku tries to explain a little bit to them, but they both shut it down.

And without knowing the full breadth or implication of their binding vow, I don’t think Sukuna expected to be forced into a pregnancy that requires birthing.

I appreciate that Sukuna falls victim to this manipulation despite being the strongest. It goes to show that anyone can experience the loss of bodily autonomy.

Itadori Jin & Kaori 

His identical twin is not spared of this reproductive manipulation either. Jin is manipulated into having a child with the corpse of his wife who is piloted by Kenjaku. But I want to take the time to give Kaori the dignity Kenjaku has denied her.

Even if Kaori wanted a child, there is no meaningful way for her to consent to this pregnancy. I’m not even sure if Jin fully understood there was someone else wearing Kaori’s body. There is a real possibility she didn’t want a child to begin with. We just don’t know since everyone except her gets to discuss it.

She’s exactly like Choso’s mother here. Her body no longer belongs to her and she has no spoken dialogue. Her personhood is denied on introduction. What she was like or what things she aspired to is treated as irrelevant—she’s just another woman Kenjaku used and discarded like a tool.

Visceral Femininity 

Bloodborne is a game about. Well it’s a game that happens at you. There is little plot or reason to the Lovecraftian horrors that drive you and the characters mad. But when you examine the fragments of lore hidden both in plain sight and on item descriptions…you go insane.

There are patterns though. Seemingly unrelated pieces of this ethereal puzzle can be stitched together with a keen eye. Someone made a video on it and concluded it was about motherhood.

After watching this perspective, this reading seems obvious. With all the disjointed umbilical cords, births, abortions, and blood. It’s a proper reproductive horror.

To me, JJK resembles Bloodborne in that way. And after I was granted the eyes to see, I’ve noticed that this body horror has been here as early as JJK 0.

In fact JJK 0 and first chapter feature female characters being groped by curses. (Sometimes the word Geto uses for violated can be translated as rape.)

Motherhood, and everything that causes it, is something JJK uses as a vehicle to discuss the undiscussable—bodily autonomy and its loss for exploitation. Rather than presenting it as something we’re familiar with, it’s a symbolic, pervasive theme in how the bodies of others are seen as tools for those in power.

The organs and bodies of those who can become pregnant are twisted into things that inflict pain. In the case of Naoya, he quite literally becomes a cunt that torments the surviving twin of the girl he molested.

And his hand sign references a deity who manipulates bodies in the womb, changing females to males.

It’s never quite stated outright or even properly addressed by the characters, but you still feel that sickening pit. There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way things are. Why is so little being done about it?

[epickiya722]

Another thought coming in, this time about how Riko and Yuji are similar in ways that has me in my feelings and I am definitely going to ramble about it.

They're both such tragic characters. Bright eyed kids who despite their positive personalities, life is unfair to them. Yet, somehow they adapt the best they can.

Raised by a single person who is family to them, whether not blood related (Riko and Kuroi) and blood related (Yuji and Wasuke, Yuji's grandfather). Parents? Gone. Riko's died in an accident and Yuji's, well, his mother is dead and maybe his father (his whereabouts aren't really clear, but I figured he's dead).

Both have expressed they're loners, however they are sociable and can get along with those around them.

"Vessels" that are doomed to die. Riko, merging with Tengen would mean her no longer existing. Once Yuji consumed all of Sukuna's 20 Cursed Fingers, he is sentenced to be executed. And they both had accepted this, even though they question it and it's not something they want to do in the first place.

Riko and Yuji were born into those roles, being a "vessel" wasn't something in their control from the start. Riko was found to be a match as a Star Plasma Vessel and Yuji was created to be Sukuna's vessel/"cage". Those roles that they were forced into came with dire consequences and somehow those roles of theirs, even being a "vessel" is halted by a Fushiguro.

Riko is killed by Toji, just as she makes the decision to not merge with Tengen. Sukuna uses the Binding Vow he had on Yuji to force control over his body to switch into Megumi's body. Riko's was done voluntarily on Toji's part while Megumi becoming Sukuna's vessel is involuntary on Megumi's part.

These actions lead into even more chaos. With Toji killing Riko, Tengen later evolves into something more curse than human, something Kenjaku wants for the Merger. Sukuna switching to Megumi's body allows him to use his technique, the technique he uses against Yorozu who possessed Tsumiki (Megumi's sister) and kills her and later against Gojo.

Also, something else. When they have died (Yuji once in the beginning, he gets revived), it's right in front of someone (who are black haired, have eye color changes from manga to anime and can summon creatures with their techniques). Suguru witnesses Riko's death, Megumi witnesses Yuji's.

It's also something of how they die/"die" that kind of foils. Yuji dies by his heart being taken out. Riko dies by being shot in the head. I think of that saying how you should think your head, not your heart. Yuji, though he does follow his heart, also thinks logically sometimes, evident in battles. He does show he is smarter than what he even gives himself credit for. With Riko, she is more emotion driven than logical. (That's not to say she's dumb, which I doubt she is.)

Also, speaking of Gojo, he's heavily involved with Riko and Yuji's roles as vessels.

He had been one of the two (along with Geto) to protect Riko until it was her time to merge with Tengen. During that time, Gojo grows compassion, and not just towards Riko as later he displays that traits to his students, Yuji being a notable example.

When Riko dies, Gojo expresses sorrow and grief and even suggests killing the Star Religious members because they were celebrating her death. In a similar manner, when Yuji dies (Sukuna ripping his heart out), Gojo expresses distraught and anger, even mentioning how he should kill the Higher-Ups who orchestrated the very mission that could have killed Yuji (as well as Megumi and Nobara, but their focus was Yuji).

Gojo's time with Riko changes him and his time as Yuji's teacher displays that change.

And...

It's also funny to me how similar their names are to the previous MCs of JJK 0. (Okay, I know Rika ain't like a MC-MC to some, but she is to me!)

Riko -> Rika

Yuji -> Yuta

...

I'm not done, let me touch on how they're opposite.

Riko is a non-combatant and seemingly has more knowledge about jujutsu. Yuji is a newcomer and is an combatant. Riko is a girl, Yuji is a boy. Riko has long, dark hair. Yuji has short, light hair.

[cephydeluxe]

sometimes I think the perception and understanding of rika's character would've ironically been better if cheritz didn't try to force you to be sympathetic for her.

like judge or forgive should've both explored the consequences of either hospitalization or imprisonment for rika and not just "GOOD END" "BAD END" cause forcing you to forgive her downplays all of her actions with the mint eye, and from a character perspective I think it lessens her impact and will on the story y'know, if you constantly undermine the antagonists actions what's the point of them being in the story, yeah??

Idk how to say it, but it's like forcing you to forgive her takes away the meaning of forgiveness!! It makes the trauma she's suffered and, in response, inflicted on others seem trivial if it can be washed away with an apology and I-forgive-yous

It also hurts the development of V and Saeran immensely cause treating Rika with kid gloves also has the effect of treating them poorly in turn when they have both been heavily affected and traumatized by her actions

[xelasrecords]

Locus of Pain

Kim Jihyun x MC

NSFW

MC doesn't tell Jihyun she's hurt. He finds out anyway.

I'm back with smutty and messy ambiguous relationships! With GE Jihyun's personality. I will forever campaign for his GE personality until it becomes mainstream in fics and I don't have to put a disclaimer anymore.

TW: discussions on adult child abuse, self-destructive thoughts and actions, brief mild gore imagery, self-harm

Words: 4.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

She stumbled into the apartment with a pained grunt.

She ought to feel bad for staining the floor with her blood, but she had more important matters to attend to. Her back was burning with lacerations and every step she took was straining the bruises that had burrowed into her muscles.

She tried not to swing her hands too much as she headed for the bathroom, disposing of her jacket at the foot of the bed. For once she was thankful for Rika's cramped apartment. It could be suffocating at times, but it was easy to live in. Jihyun said Rika had a taste of unassuming minimalism. She thought building a gilded emerald cult with thousands of followers was pushing the definition.

Gripping the edge of the sink, she clenched her jaw and started peeling off her blood-crusted shirt. The injuries shouldn't be too deep since the blood had stopped flowing down her back like a free-flowing motherfucker. But as she pulled the shirt over her head, it tore the barely knit skin apart, and warm blood started to trickle down again.

She cursed her thin epidermis. It was not supposed to tear over a mere picture frame thrown at it, even if the frame was large enough to cover half of the bedroom wall.

Her father had excellent aim and strength. He had proven that to her many times.

Sometimes she fantasised about breaking his skull in with a scorching hot pan, wondering if his hair would melt from the heat or if his eyes would bulge out of their sockets. Would he scream for her help? Would he plead for mercy or curse her for being a demon spawn? Then, she could blame him for fathering such an evil inside her.

Her stomach curdled with guilt. The resentment was hers alone, and he had loved her despite her selfishness. She couldn't shed away the primal care she had for him. She was her mother's daughter, after all.

Twisting her body in the mirror, she made a quick work of cataloguing her injuries. Two long gashes that dipped into her flesh but wouldn't require stitches, one blackening bruise near her ribs, and several cuts and bruises that stippled across her back. She tested her breathing. No wheezing. No punctured lung. An improvement from the last time. Jihyun wouldn't need to know.

She stepped into the shower and washed off the blood. The cold water chilled her bones. But it had to. It was better to feel all of it. She had asked for his wrath and now she dealt with the consequences. Besides, it helped with closing the wounds.

After she put on a pair of shorts, she reached for a bottle of alcohol from the medicine cabinet. Sharp gasps escaped her mouth every so often as she tried to pour just enough. Medicine was costly and she shouldn't waste it. The burn blinded her vision white and she hunched over the sink, focusing on the cold ceramic under her fingertips and the slicing of tiles beneath her bare feet.

When her sight had stopped swimming, she took a deep breath and bent her arm behind her in awkward angles to slap adhesive bandages to the wounded area. She grunted in frustration. It was tougher than she'd thought. She was nauseous from constantly looking up to check her reflection, the evening autumn draft was pricking at her exposed skin, and the plasters kept sticking to the wrong place.

She glared at the mirror. Do not faint.

How many nights had she spent patching herself up? And yet she still struggled. Her lack of progress was almost laughable.

She didn't think there were any glass shards embedded in her though. One good thing that came out of this. She tried not to think about the larger shard she had pocketed when the picture frame glass shattered, now buried under the bloody heap of clothes.

She froze when she heard someone punching in the door passcode.

She was about to kick her bathroom door close when Jihyun entered and switched on the lights from down the hallway. Their eyes locked, and he stopped in his tracks. Her throat constricted.

This was not how she wanted him to ever see her.

His face grew horrified, and he dropped his satchel in his rush to get to her. She had a fleeting worry that his satchel might have dropped onto the blood-stained floor and she might have ruined his fine leather bag.

Jihyun stood before her, his mouth opened and closed. She schooled her face into indifference and waited.

"You—" he started, "what happened?"

The impulse to lie was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't find a good reason to when he had caught her like this. She doubted he would believe her excuses. The day had been long and she was so tired.

"A jolly good ol' catch-up with my parents." Her tone was casual.

Jihyun watched her with a worried frown, then squeezed into the small space and ran the tap water through his hands. He was moving with a surprising efficiency as he lathered his hands with soap before scanning her injuries and her first aid supplies.

"Please let me help." His teal eyes were desperate. She had forgotten how luminous they were from up close. "You can't do this alone."

"You shouldn't have come here tonight."

"I'm well-versed in healing people," he urged. "I used to heal my own injuries when I was with Rika. I treated hers as well. I know enough, so you can trust me." His fingers twitched, almost reaching for her before dropping to his side. "Please."

More than the fact that she was found out, she hated that she had made Jihyun worry about her. The only thing she excelled at was to instil negative feelings in people who cared about her. Always wrath in her parents, sometimes concern in Jihyun.

Jihyun had never lost his head at her, but she was waiting for it to happen. No one had the patience of a saint, not even him.

It was a pity she had condemned him to another relationship where he had to play the caretaker. Letting him treat her would be an appropriate compensation for his scare. "Go on," she said. "But I should probably lie down."

Relief flooded his face. "That would be the best. Can you walk on your own?"

She nodded, but he held her arm and assisted her to the bed. He sat her down, slowly, and helped her settle into a comfortable position to lie prone in. She buried her face into the pillow that smelled faintly of mint leaves. It was Jihyun's side of the bed. It comforted her that he was permanent enough in her life that she could find traces of him in her private space.

"Has it always been this bad?" Jihyun asked quietly. The feeling of his lithe fingers inspecting her skin with clinical precision was unfamiliar. His touches were always loving, adoring, not stiff with anxiety. He had never seen her with weeping wounds. She had never let him into the truth.

"Only when I deliberately provoke them. Mother goes off the rails, father blames me for not caring about my own parents, I try to save myself before things escalate." She raised her head and smirked at him. "I don't always succeed though. Got a picture frame to my back, as you can see. Took being backstabbed by your family to the next level. They were supposed to hang it where their guests could see, but I doubt they'd hang it without the glass now. People would ask."

There was a brief silence before he spoke. "That's terrible." His voice was soft, barely a murmur. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know they are violent."

She shrugged. "You're not the one who should apologise. And they will anyway, once they think I've iced them out for too long. Not that it means anything."

He shook his head, and strands of aquamarine hair fell across his forehead. They softened the distress that wrought his features. "You're not a mouse they can play with."

"No, I'm just their daughter they can hurt," she said. Jihyun pressed a bandage against the grisliest gash across her back and she winced. "Do you think it'll scar?"

"It most likely will. Had it been any deeper, you would have needed stitches." He paused, his palm resting on her spine. "Why didn't you call me?"

"It didn't occur to me," she lied. She wanted to lay down her defences and curl into his arms. She didn't want to keep fighting for herself. There were times when escaping was better than fighting for nothing, but it wasn't something she could ask from him. Her cage was her own.

Jihyun's fingers curled against her skin, and she could sense the waves of sorrow unfurling around her. "Can you think of me from now on? It doesn't have to be all the time, moments when you are hurt will do. If you call, I will come."

"I think of you all the time, Jihyun."

"Oh. I didn't know that." The surprise was evident in his tone. He applied another bandage to her back, smoothing it cautiously over the raw wound. "But I know no one is meant to bear their burden alone. You have been through so much."

"So have you, love. I'm not special." She gave him a bitter smile. "Now, why did you come here unannounced?"

Jihyun studied her for several seconds. "I wanted to see you," he said. "You've been withdrawn lately, so I thought something had happened."

She chuckled. "I suppose this counts as something."

"I never had to imagine you in my position before," he said. "I thought you'd confide in me when you're hurt. It's what you always urge me to do. You taught me to be more trusting. But seeing you like this makes me realise how much fear you and Jumin must have felt when I took matters into my own hands." He let out a ragged sigh. "I don't know how I would cope if I came here one day and saw you unconscious on the floor."

Lucky he wasn't here when she blacked out from a concussion a few months ago.

She made a dismissive gesture. "Do as I say, not as I do."

"Only if you let me do the same thing."

She levelled a glare at him. "Definitely not."

Jihyun snorted but worked silently after. The stinging pain was dulling into low throbs. She had lost count of the bandages he used, but it must have been more than necessary. She felt the adhesives even on the spots that didn't require them. Jihyun was being excessive. After everything she had gone through, she was confident that a small, uncovered cut wouldn't be her reason to die.

He should know. He had been stabbed and was still alive fretting over her.

She heard him uncapping an ointment and felt a cool sensation on her skin. He carefully massaged the salve into the bruises, sending shivers throughout her body. How nice he was. How patient. How kind.

When he pushed her hair aside to tend to the base of her neck, her breath caught. His fingertips sent fire down her synapses. It had been so long since they did anything. The distance she put between them was growing taut. The farther she pulled, the harder she would crash back into him.

Her arm moved on its own accord when she grabbed Jihyun's fingers and pressed her lips to the back of his hand. The strong herbal scent from the salve burned her nose, but this smooth hand was his. Hers.

Jihyun was always there for her to come back to.

He was not home. Home, to her, was not something that she ever longed to go. It was the misery that strangled her into obedience and shrunk her world into a dark, bleak place to survive in.

He was her sanctuary on a far-off island. Nothing could get to them when they were together.

Jihyun let out a light chuckle that sang to her heart. "Let me wash my hands. I don't want to make you any more ill."

She squeezed his hand. "I missed you too, you know. I'm glad you're with me."

He stilled, then crouched beside her head. He tucked the hair that obscured her face behind her ear and kissed her temple before gently wrestling his hand out of her grasp. The shape of his lips was just as she remembered it.

She watched him rinse the blood from her clothes and exhaled in relief when he didn't stray to her trousers' pocket. She watched him clean his hands with water trickling down his forearms, the brown sleeves of his sweatshirt pulled up and collecting water at the elbows. She watched him storing the first aid kit and medicines in the cabinet to her preferred arrangement. She watched him doing useless things for her.

When Jihyun climbed into the bed and rested against the headboard, she asked, "Do you know what the worst part of this is?"

He stared down at her, eyes carrying a heavy sorrow. "That your parents don't know how to love you?"

"Not even close." She rolled her eyes. "I've known that all my life. Not being able to lean against anything is the real tragedy. Look at me, I can't even sit comfortably beside you."

"But you can come closer," he said slowly.

She raised her brows but let him guide her to lie on his chest, his fingers resting on her bare shoulders.

He was clothed and she wasn't and it was something she needed to rectify.

She tangled her leg around his and relaxed her head against his beating heart. It was thrumming to a rising tempo that mirrored hers. She toyed with a loose thread on the neck of his sweatshirt. "I wish you weren't so good at fixing up injuries like mine. I wish you never had to learn."

"It's all in the past now." He slipped his fingers into the gaps between hers and clasped them. "I'd go through it again if I had known it would help alleviate your pain."

She snapped up at him. "Your martyr streak needs to stop."

"I have stopped. Just allow me this one exception." He planted a chaste kiss on her mouth, then cleared his throat. "Will you meet your parents again?"

She tightened the thread around her forefinger until it looked like diagonally dissected blocks of meat and she could barely feel its existence. "I know they do horrible things sometimes, but I can't cut them off. It's not that easy. I still love them. When they're not mad, they can be easy to love."

Jihyun frowned at her finger and gently untangled the thread before snapping it off. "That's what makes leaving harder, isn't it?" The haunting in his face revealed the extent of horrors that he had experienced. An angel with a darkened, torn soul who was still rising high above. He was not her. She liked that about him. "It's easier to hate someone when they have only been awful to you. It's their residual goodwill that gives you hope that they will change. When I look back to how stubbornly I stood beside Rika, I understand. Left in the dark, we cling to the light. We forget who trapped us there in the first place."

She didn't want to admit that Jihyun was right. That he was right, yet it would not change anything.

She wondered if she had been drawn to him because the subconscious part of her knew he would understand. Jihyun knew how to make her feel less alone in the guilt and resentment and twisted love that she couldn't untangle herself from. Most people were not like him. She learned from a young age that if people found out about the abuse, they would either urge her to leave—which added unnecessary pressure on her because it was never an option—or give her pitiful looks while stumbling over their words.

"Jihyun," she said.

He drew his thumb over her chin. "Yes?"

"Don't go." She pushed herself up and crashed her lips into his.

It was fervent, maddening, and she poured all the tension from their time of separation into it. The yearning to see him. The stress from her parents meddling with her happiness. Everything she had been missing after being alone for so long.

Jihyun reciprocated with more caution, treading her lips like they were a treasure trove. He gave in eventually when she didn't show a sign of discomfort, his kiss matching her intensity.

She bit his lower lip and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He gripped her shoulders, pulling her closer until she was pressed against him. His hands were not sliding down her waist and everywhere else like he tended to. He kept his hold staunchly on her arms even as he deepened the kiss.

It hit her what he was doing. He was being considerate of her battered body.

She let out a sob into his mouth. Nobody had ever cared for her like this. She could stand all the violence flung at her, but one act of kindness felled her to her knees.

Jihyun pulled away in an instant, his glazed eyes searching across her face and body. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I was just thinking about you. You're wonderful. I missed you." Jihyun's expression was guarded, appraising her, and she let him. She had spoken the truth. She offered the truth so rarely that she would not omit more of it if it concerned his regard for himself. "I'm fine, Jihyun."

He gave a slow nod, and she tugged off his cashmere sweater. With a tender touch, she ran her hand through the ragged red patches of skin that stood out against his pale torso. Burn scars from a house fire. Both of them had childhood wounds woven into their very being. The past was made permanent on their skin.

Jihyun squirmed, seemingly self-conscious, despite her being familiar with the scars, but he made no attempts to stop her. He was beautiful, body and soul, she thought. He had more love and forgiveness in him than anyone she had ever known.

She trailed kisses along his jaw and sucked on the juncture behind his ear. He moaned and curved his body against her, and she smiled into his neck. It was amusing, the reactions that she could elicit out of him. No one could touch him as she could. He did not let anyone else know him intimately like this. He was only for her.

She suspected all of this played into his pleasure as well.

She twined her fingers around his hair, marvelling at the softness of it, and pulled it back to bare his throat. He had such a beautiful throat.

She didn't apply much pressure as she wrapped her hand around it, but his breath hitched. Her lips curved into a sly smile, her other hand wandering down his hard bulge. "I don't know why being choked always turns you on."

Jihyun held his gaze on her despite his reddening complexion. "I can feel you wanting me when you hold me like this."

"I do want you." She swung her leg astride him, straddling his hips and rested her forehead against his. The hard-on beneath her was hard to ignore. "It drives me out of my mind when I can't be with you."

"You shouldn't have pushed me away," he murmured. "I'll still want you, however you are, whatever condition you are in. You're always just you to me. Nothing can make me want you less."

"I'm sorry," she said. Jihyun closed his eyes, and she kissed his eyelid with a gentleness that she reserved only for him. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

He cradled her cheek, and she basked in the warmth of it. The safety of him. He was here and she couldn't fight the temptation to lose herself in him. "You didn't leave me alone. I belong with you. Anywhere you run to, you take me with you. I'm yours."

She tightened her hold on his throat to see his reaction. "You're mine," she whispered.

A slow smile graced his delicate face. "I am. I'm yours."

Jihyun drew her closer by the elbow and peppered kisses on her mouth, her chin, her throat, and her collarbones. He palmed her breasts and sucked her nipple while tweaking the other with his fingers. They hardened at his touch and she moaned his name, demanding him to be harder, rougher.

She needed to feel everything.

He bit her nipple and her hand slipped to the base of his skull, grasping at his hair. He was hers. His action and devotion were hers. It sent a deluge of pleasure down her core. Jihyun could be gentle, but he was also earnest to give her the satisfaction she sought.

She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him more than the freedom from her wretched life.

"I love you." She tipped his chin back. "I love you, Jihyun. Remember it."

He smiled up at her, his pupils blown wide with lust. "I love you, too."

She reached down and unbuckled his trousers. She had done more strenuous activities in a worse state, so fucking him wouldn't damage her already mangled body. But Jihyun stilled her wrist when he saw through her intention.

She narrowed her gaze. "I'm on the pill."

"You're hurt," he said. "I don't want to worsen your injuries."

"Have you not treated them?"

His grip wasn't loosening. "You need more time to heal. The wounds may open again."

"Then go slow."

Jihyun hesitated.

"Please," she croaked.

As soon as she uttered the word, she knew she had him. He sighed, but let go of her wrist. "You'll have to be careful. I'm stopping this if you push yourself too far."

"Brilliant."

Jihyun pulled down his trousers while she discarded her shorts. She lowered herself into him, relishing in the feel of him filling her. He ran his hands up and down her waist tentatively until he was sure that he wasn't touching any of the injuries on her back. Only then did he allow himself to move into her with practised ease. She held onto his shoulders and rolled her hips in tandem, burying her face into his neck and letting him control the pace. Jihyun had meant his warning and she was not eager to risk it.

It felt new. It felt familiar. It was what she had yearned for. His low grunts, her body slanting forward to hit the right spot, their skin sticking to each other in sweat and slick wetness.

Jihyun was slow, unhurried, with faint caresses down her back. His concern for her was easy to read. He was tracing back the pain that he couldn't protect her from. He might no longer bear a debilitating guilt, but she didn't think he could ever eradicate his need to shield her from misfortunes.

She couldn't blame him. It was the same with her, though the abuse done to her wasn't something that anyone could simply take away, and they both knew it.

She bit his earlobe, mumbling, "It's not your fault."

Jihyun tilted his face, and his lips brushed her cheek. "It's not yours either."

She stopped caring whose fault her source of agony was and thrust into him, picking up the pace while she dug her nails into his arms. He didn’t stop her, his hand snaking down to find her bundle of nerves instead.

She gasped and arched her back when he rubbed her. She was vaguely aware of the sharp jabs of pain in her back, but she welcomed them. Pain grounded her into him.

Jihyun's fingers were vigorous, and his thrusting was getting rougher that it twisted the coil in her lower abdomen. She writhed with need, whispering to him not to stop, and he listened, and it brought her higher and higher until the coil snapped.

She cried out in ecstasy.

Jihyun kept to his pace as she rode out the climax, not stopping despite her trembling legs and clearing haze. She focused on him overwhelming her in a way that annihilated her need for anything else. The alkaline tang of paint that lingered on him. His tightening grip on her bottom as she felt him reaching his climax. Him twitching inside her when he finally did, his muscles tensing as he came inside her. His pleasure-struck face that entranced her every time.

He was a marvel to look at, to have. He was hers. He had proclaimed it. He was the forest that shrouded her from the vultures circling above, the soft sand that sank her deeper into him with each pull of the waves, the hearth that kept her warm through the barren cold. With him, she could breathe.

She would give him everything he wanted. She would not let him go.

She slumped against him, their mixed fluids seeping down her thighs. He slipped out of her and she kissed the underside of his jaw. "I love you."

Jihyun's breath was still racing as he drew circular patterns on her shoulder blades. "Your parents didn't hurt you because you provoked them. They hurt you because they're abusive. It's not your fault."

She sighed. She had hoped he would let it go, but nothing could stop him once he made up his mind. "Knowing it doesn't make it any better."

"Do you really think so?" He ran his thumb up her inner forearm. She flinched and tried to jerk away, but he held onto her. The deepest scars had faded to silver, but the fresher ones were raised ridges along her skin. She had been careful, small cuts scattered on an easily hidden spot. She didn't realise he would notice. "Isn't this your form of penance?"

Her chest tightened. "It's the only thing I have control over. If I blame them and direct all my anger at them, I will hurt them. This way, the only person I hurt is myself. I'm not a weapon. I'm not a threat."

"Don't you think you've been hurt enough?"

She wore a thin smile and looked away. "Sure."

Jihyun's hands slid up her jaw and tilted her head back to him, his fingers resting on the pulse points on her neck. "You can be angry around me. It's natural to want to express your emotions. They're not something you're supposed to keep to yourself. Talk to me when you feel like turning to self-mutilation. I'm yours, remember? My ears are yours to talk to. My shoulders are for you to lean on."

She surveyed his pleading gaze with a twinge of pity. Jihyun was asking for more than he was supposed to receive. In time, he would see it.

Another waiting game had begun. She almost did not want to see the ending.

"All right. I'll do that."

-

Footnotes:

I went with Jihyun because I thought he'd be an interesting choice. The role reversal and all. He's forced to confront how he is seen through MC's eyes when he's involved in dangerous situations and refuses help.

MC's relief for living in Rika's suffocating apartment at the beginning parallels her feeling trapped in the familial cage that she doesn't want to leave. There's a reason why she doesn't move out of the apartment even after the cult drama is over. She's a bird caged too long that she can't take flight even if the door is open. She's not capable of leaving things behind, so she hoards everything she can (Jihyun) to herself.

MC thinking that her father "had loved her despite her selfishness" is the product of her parents' manipulation. Her belief that she's selfish if she feels negative emotions and wants anything at all is what drives her self-destruction, and ironically, her possessiveness.

With Jihyun, it's easy to make him fall into the rescuer role when the partner self-harms, so I was very mindful of depicting the discovery scene. I didn't want to romanticise it and make MC feel like if she got hurt more, she'd get more attention from him. Since this is GE Jihyun, he wouldn't default back to his old enabling methods.

I was dubious about making MC self-harm since I don't want this to be a gratuitous checklist of trigger warnings, but it makes sense for her to turn to cutting. If she has to be hurt, it might as well be by herself. Might as well be on her terms.

The nature metaphors are to show Jihyun's and MC's common interest in nature.

Are they actually in love or is it just oxytocin and loneliness? Who knows?

I felt pressured to write a romantic fic, but I haven't been able to these days so I turned to this. It brought relief somehow. This was cathartic.

I used to think I'd never write a possessive character in a non-antagonising light yet here we are. I compared this MC to the one from Wedge the Knife Under My Skin, but this one is blunter with her words and well, more possessive. She's bitter and sarcastic and resigned to her suffering. Fortunately, Jihyun is secure enough to see through her sharp defences.

The title is a twist on the locus of control concept in psychology, which is about a person's degree of belief on how much of their internal force governs their external life.

I don't know why I like to throw Jihyun into ambiguous relationships either.

Header Corner:

A quick process breakdown! Add a directional blur to the base footage > duplicate the footage, slightly shift the position and change the blur direction to get the hazy look > add a red filter overlay to fit the fic's bloody mood but retain the magenta in the background to resonate with the romance aspect > choose the appropriate angsty text and font!

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[klapollo]

i think, ironically, a good example of using media literacy to parse endorsement through depiction from other forms of depiction is..............lolita vs cardcaptor sakura. of all things

both of these are media that depict pedophilia. but the entire thesis of lolita is that pedophilia is a devastating, violent, disturbing thing that destroys children and the perpetrators of child sexual abuse will often attempt to convince everyone -- even themselves -- that their actions are somehow balanced or just or even romantic. it's literally from humbert humbert's pov and the dexterity of the narrative imparts the depravity and horror of his actions with every page still

cardcaptor sakura. ok. i loved this series as a kid but we gotta be honest its depiction of pedophilia is pretty clearly in the framework of "this is just a different kind of love and it's romantic!" and tbh i always found it kind of insulting how touya and yukito's romantic relationship -- as one between two boys of the same age -- was kinda lumped into this same theme of "unconventional romance." terada, a man in his 20s/30s is meant to be sympathetic, and his "relationship" with rika -- his TEN YEAR OLD STUDENT -- is supposed to be romantic. there is basically nothing in the text that suggests their relationship is inappropriate, let alone violent or dangerous. and this framework has consequences. i can find literal posts on THIS WEBSITE where people buy into the framework of "it's okay because he's waiting for her to be an adult" "it's okay because they dont kiss etc" and think it's just a "different kind of love."

anyway this got too long. yeah. clamp what's your deal lol

[suguwu-gato]

Unpopular opinion but I am LIVING for this new plot reveal. This is an in-character move from Yuta to sacrifice himself in desperation to help his friends at the cost of his own psyche and moral compass. Shoko, while a side character, was an integral part of the Gojo-Geto-Shoko dynamic and NONE of them escaped growing up in jujutsu society unfucked in the head. She starts out a healer, but when we see her first in season 1 she’s eager to dissect Yuji. She is emotionally detached from most situations— she’s had to be, after embalming and/or losing so many friends, starting with Haibara— and we see this first when she meets Geto in Shinjuku. Geto and Gojo are both losing their minds in different ways at that point, so she must stay strong. We see this here again, as she does what she thinks is the only course of action.

Satoru essentially gave the okay at this point to become an organ donor— the organ being his entire self. Shoko is following what Gojo instructed and discussed with Yuta; it’s horrifying but it’s consensual, which is still better than what happened to Geto. Geto’s head being eaten by Rika— the narrative irony of this man who consumed curses to absorb their power having part of his body consumed by a curse in the end, to use the power of the brain that used him? It’s grotesque and ironic but it WORKS NARRATIVELY and provides a satisfying end for him in an incredibly perverse sense. His body being eaten by a curse in order for Satoru’s body to be used just like Geto’s was. Satoru finally realizing that Geto had seen things that were wrong with jujutsu society and that he had died tried to do something about it, Satoru feeling like HE is he one who needs to catch up, when that’s how Geto felt about him. I don’t know why people are so surprised by this development; the entire story of JJK revolves around people’s bodies becoming host to someone else, or being used in that way. Yuji being host to Sukuna. Geto being host to Kenjaku. Mahito using people’s bodies to turn them into weapons. Yuta trying desperately not to hurt people but having Rika within him doing just that. Toji coming back from the dead by inhabiting someone else’s body. Megumi being used by Sukuna, after asking Gojo to spare Yuji even if that meant keeping Sukuna alive. Megumi’s sister. Yuji’s mom. And now of course, Gojo giving his body for what he believes is the best course of action to save his students, even if one of them is sacrificed. This is a theme of Jujutsu Kaisen: bodily autonomy, making sacrifices for others, making decisions in the moment without knowing the consequences and then having to live with them.

I see people complaining because Gojo’s death leaves so many loose ends with his relationships to Megumi, Yuji, etc but that’s the point! That’s what death is. Very rarely do people know when they are about to die, much less have the chance to wrap up everything with all the people they care about. Death is a sudden and unexpected end that leaves holes in people’s hearts and that is exactly how JJK portrays it. I’m horrified by what happened to Gojo and Yuta (and Geto and Megumi and Yuji and… the list goes on) but I’m excited to see where this takes the story. Yuta will probably die, but that leaves Yuji alone as the main character, no longer able to be sidelined, which people have been complaining about for a while. I personally think Yuji will die to revive Megumi and that Megumi will be the lone survivor (and maybe even defeats Sukuna with 10 shadows, in an ironic recap of the Sukuna-Gojo fight), but I also thought it would be Kenjaku that would take Gojo’s body, so I’m sure my theory is wrong! This is a fascinating development and I can’t wait to see what horrible and twisted things result as a result of Yuta’s act of desperation.

[marshmallowprotection]

Why does Saeran keep calling Saejoong "father" until the end? Saeyoung does that too, doesn't he?

That man is anything but a father.

I think it's a complicated answer at the end of the day. That man... is technically their father, but you're right, he's anything but. Saeyoung only says "father" in a condescending way, the same way Saejoong in return, says "son" to him. They have a mutual distaste for each other and that's the only trait they share.

As for Saeran, I'm sure you could say the same for how he always called his mother "mother". He continues to call her his mother even though she doesn't deserve that title. His brother says it to you quite often, Saeran’s heart is gentle at its core. He doesn’t want to hate any more, and that’s a part of his forgiveness arc. He forgives his mother, and he accepts that she was his mother, even though she never once acted like it.

It's the same sentiment for his father. Whether he likes it or not, that man is his birth father, and he has accepted it, just as he accepted that his mother was his mother. He wouldn't be able to exist without the two of them, and he understands his experiences are because of the people his parents are. He is ending a generational curse by doing things his way, choosing to forgive them so that he may learn how to forgive himself for what he's done. 

He knows he can't change who his parents are. He doesn't have to define them as the people who took care of him because they are not that. But, he acknowledges that his existence is because of them and many of the things he has done came from what he suffered at their hands. 

That's why he calls them the title of parent, not because either of them earned it, but because for Saeran to accept himself, he wants to accept that his parents influenced him. That's how he feels. That's what he says.

For him to find peace, for him to learn how to live past what he suffered, he chose to acknowledge their existence and forgive them so he could forgive himself. He is a kind soul, and sure, I know a lot of people don’t like that.

Many of us would rather rip his parents to shreds, myself included, because our healing process is different than his. But, that's what the after-ending is about, showing you that everybody has a right to their feelings as long as they don't hurt themselves or anybody else (Well, anyone who doesn’t deserve it, anyway. Your actions have consequences, Rika, V, Saejoong, Agency Boss, etc.).

His words speak for himself here and I don't feel like I need to reiterate what he says all that much. 

I don't mind explaining this over and over again since forgiveness is such a messy topic, but I hope people understand he forgave them so that he could forgive himself. In everything he did wrong, he was copying the people who hurt him every step of the way because that was what he felt like he had to do to survive. He knew that if he could forgive them for what they did, he could forgive himself for emulating them, for copying them. 

But, I digress.

He knows they are his biological parents, but he won't consider them to be guardians, people who looked after him and made him feel safe. He didn't have that... at least, he didn't have that in a conventional sense.

Saeyoung is the only person who was like a parent to him and we don't have time to unpack Saeyoung's parentification.

Saeran had a lot of people who looked after him thanks to Saeyoung, but... V and Rika? He doesn’t consider them to be parents to him, he said that himself, Saeyoung, though? He felt that way. He saw V and Rika as stand-in parents. There's no denying that fact, but it makes it all the more painful when you see V drug Saeyoung on the second day.

You see his eyes soften, desperately pleading with somebody he thought to be a father to him to not disappoint him. To not let him down and see reason. 

Saeyoung doesn't get that.

[torgawl]

everytime i think about the new chapter the more and more i like it, it really consolidated yuuta and gojo's characters. the revelation of how the higher-ups were taken down and the set-up for the scene with gojo and yuuta's conversation about what their plan was for gojo's body, in case he lost, might just be the part i find most interesting. all in all, the chapter really highlights the underlying difference between the violence of oppression and the violence of resistence and revolution.

when it comes to yuuta and the archetype of his character he is the pure embodiment of love in the series. if yuuji is able to reach sukuna because he was one with him (love as oneness), yuuta's entire exitence has sorrounded love and, specifically, love as a curse. sukuna's surprise at yuuta's antics come from a place of not understanding love and therefore being unable to conceptualise that yuuta would go so far as betray his own humanity for it. he can't conceive how love can drive a person like yuuta, who's sweet and kind-hearted, to a place as cursed as this - emphasised by the sheer horror and heinosity that is seeing the usage of gojo's dead body with yuuta's innocent expression. but we know that yuuta's journey has always been marked by this concept of love as a curse, starting all the way back in jjk 0 where yuuta's unwillingness to let go of a deceased rika caused her to linger in the world in the form of a cursed spirit. one that yuuta learns to let go of by the end of the story. a lot of what he learns in that moment is about consent and mutuality in love (hence his domain expansion name), and although rika's soul passes and gets freed she is able to manifest her will into her vessel that continues to protect yuuta until this day. yuuta asking gojo for consent to use his body not only consolidates this mutual exchange and respect that he has for those he cares for - which are his main driving force - but is also exactly what separates him from someone like kenjaku, who body hops with total disregard for who they were originally. so there's that layer of irony behind yuuta having rika consume kenjaku to copy his technique and make use of it in a equally disturbing but more compassionate way. which in itself can serve to both question if intent plays a role in absolution and introduce, once again, the idea that humans and curses are not so different, as explored between mahito and yuuji in shibuya with them mirroring each other.

in regards to gojo i think his aknowledgement of his own inertia when it came to the revolution that he was leading was the cherry on top to consolidate who gojo really was as a person. gojo's greatest character flaw was arguably that he simply wasn't radical enough, allowing his students to be targets under the influence of the higher-ups. he had reasons not to kill them, as he explained before in the series, but he still failed to weight the consequences of his own actions and how no one is rewarded by working under a broken system. and i feel like having the youth he guided watching as he killed them is also quite significant as they're followers of this new revolutionary ideology.

i think the shock or impact these violent or twisted acts by the hands of those forced to survive within the status quo (like maki slaughtering her clan, gojo killing the higher-ups, yuuta taking over gojo's body) as a reaction to the violence they're subjeted to by this same system serves some purpose. and i think this is the reason the higher-ups are these anonymous faceless figures, barely-there personalities who have such a big influence in the lives of so many people. even in the real world, and we can think of systems like capitalism and how it exploits people in such a casual way and it relies on that exploration to survive, we sort of take for granted that violence coming from those institutions, having our attention driven away from the minority that's upholding these systems to other things instead. that violence is more "acceptable" because we've been conditioned to it whereas the violence in response to those acts is always met with more scrutiny. and that kind of contextualises why shoko and nanami, for example, much like gojo, aren't really revolutionary with their ideals either - or rather, do not get that priviledge. the difference being gojo was someone these higher-ups were actively afraid of, because if he wanted to, he could have done more. and that's exactly why the instant he was sealed it was the perfect opportunity for them to do whatever they could to prevent him from coming back and place new-drawn targets on the backs of the people gojo was protecting. the gruesome nature of maki slaughtering her clan or the off-putting way people react to yuuta discarding his own humanity and going against what he believes is right to make sure gojo's legacy continues is almost forcing this question of what are people willing to stomach in the name of survival and change.

gojo remembering geto in that crucial moment ("i was falling behind" or "i have to catch up") and just having in mind how they were both so young and naive is so incredibly bittersweet. geto had radical ideals, no matter how misguided. he looked at the world and he had this unshakeable conviction that things couldn't continue to be the way they were. he reached incredibly misplaced conclusions, yes, which came from a place of great pain and alienation, but gojo finally stepping forward to follow that same path, to be more radical, also sort of confirms that things could have been so different if only gojo had the same level of consciousness back then; that they could have found a way better solution together instead of the tragedy that ensued. the parallels between them add an extra layer of wistfulness to their bond, too. their fates have and always will be so intertwined, in such a beautiful and tragic way. and i think geto's unwillingness to force gojo to take a certain path will always be one of the biggest proofs of his love towards him. at the end of the day, even knowing gojo was who he was, geto always seemed to want to protect gojo's path from being stained like his.

at the core, jjk really is a story about revolution and humanity; a story about love and curses and how love is the most twisted curse of all (which has been reinforced over and over again). the fact some are rewarded and some are punished for taking certain paths under the same system is there to convey a very specific message. i really love the incorporation of eastern philosophies within the story and the role horror plays, too. the usage of the genre to deepen the impact of these themes and the way things are introduced with the intention to provoke almost visceral reactions in the readers (much like yuuta's own reaction) also makes the message much more impactful. i think this chapter was great!!!

[randoimago]

Could I ask for "Fake dating for the holidays because [ex] will be there" from the winter prompts with Aphrodite, Dionysus (hades) and rika (pokemon scarlet/violet)?

"Fake dating for the holidays because [ex] will be there"

Fandom: Hades // Pokemon

Characters: Aphrodite, Dionysus, Rika

Type of Request: Headcanons,

Warning(s): Mentions of Violence (Aphrodite is scary)

Notes: Here you go!!

Hades

Aphrodite

Honestly probably the queen of fake dating and making people jealous. She’s a goddess, people better be jealous otherwise she’ll vanquish them easily.

Is so happy to just flaunt herself and show how beautiful and amazing she is. Sure she’s also with you and is glad to help make someone jealous because she’s petty like that. You already made a deal to do something for her in exchange too.

While she’s happy to do this to make others jealous and envious, just know that your attention better be on her this whole time.

You don’t need to look to check that this is working because it is. So keep your eyes on her if you don’t want to lose them.

Dionysus

Sure he went with you, but doesn’t know what you expect him to do for your ex to be jealous. Yeah he’s a god and very attractive, but who gives a damn if someone is jealous of him.

Seriously just there to have a good time and make everyone wasted. Might as well get some converts while he’s partying.

Is happy to give you some extra attention too. You want to fake date? You better be ready for the consequences of your actions.

He’ll gladly make out with you and flirt like crazy. Who cares who’s watching, you are “dating”.

Pokemon

Rika

Finds the idea of making someone jealous to be dumb, but whatever. She likes you enough.

She just thinks that you left that person, why do they need to be jealous? Honestly just thinks you’re being petty but whatever.

Still wraps her arm around your shoulder and staying close so it looks like you two are together. But you two are definitely talking after this.

Might honestly just talk to your ex and decide for herself if they really deserve this. Rika might also make an excuse to leave halfway through. She’s doing this as a favor anyway

[readordiebyemilyt]

Here's the next round of scary movies I've enjoyed this October:

Return of the Living Dead: I'd never seen this one before: it was at the Last Picture House last weekend, and I had a lot of fun. The punks were great, the zombies were scary (and looked fantastic), and Clu Gulager was, to my surprise, a serviceable action hero. (Also, I like a deus ex machina when it's exactly what the military industrial complex would do to "solve" a problem.)

Ju-On: It's been a long time since I first saw this movie, and I'd forgotten how it plays with time: each section focuses on a different character, and how they're cursed in different ways. Rika's story bookends the film, and even her eventual understanding of what happened in the house can't save her, but it's a haunting journey.

Killer Fish: The MST3K version of this features a great song, Crow as a killer fish, and, you guessed it, piranhas eating people.

Halloween: I watched this with Rifftrax, as I do most years: it was the first movie at the Dusk Till Dawn event at the drive-in on Saturday. There are so many sequels, and at least three continuities I can think of. (Four?) But this one is the first, and it's still the best.

Halloween II: I'll be honest, I tuned out for parts of this one, mainly because I wanted to finish an audiobook. It has its moments, and the use of Mr. Sandman is a great musical leitmotif, and we start to get into the druid stuff that comes up in movies 4, 5, and 6. Probably the scariest thing is the fact that most of the hospital staff act like horny teens, which they're of course standing in for for the sake of the plot.

Christine: Another first time watch for me: the fact that the cursed car Christine has, in 1983, what look to be LED headlights that she uses to blind her victims further proves the evil of that invention.

The Shining: Again, there are parts of this movie that I just sort of tune out, especially since this watch started around 2:30am. The scariest parts IMO are when Jack yells at his family: this movie is full of effective visuals that stick in your head and an iconic soundscape. In many ways, it's a beautiful film, and every time, I wish Scatman Crothers didn't die. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't in the book! He becomes an important part of Danny's life!)

The Most Dangerous Game: Can we go back to some movies only being 63 minutes long? I just think it would be a nice change of pace: not every film needs to be two hours long. Anyway, I watched this with Rifftrax, and it was fun. A man hunts people for sport, Faye Wray is there, and the protagonist here seems very unmoved by the deaths of his best friends in a shipwreck. Maybe he's in shock? Or maybe they didn't have time for that trauma when the whole "our host is trying to kill us" plot point was coming.

Ringu: Still compelling and deeply disturbing even after all these years: Sadako is one of, if not the best, modern horror icons. I'd forgotten that her victims die not from fear, but because of her incredible psychic power, which she possesses even after death. Also, the way to break the curse is interesting, because in theory, would-be victims could just keep showing the tape to others, copying it, then instructing others to repeat that cycle indefinitely, with no one dying.

Nope: This is my favorite Jordan Peele movie so far. It explores the consequences of thinking you're chosen, or just a mere spectator when, in fact, you are a participant in whatever entertainment you consume. So in watching this, you the viewer are engaging with spectacle, and seeing the characters try to survive that very thing. As a former English major, watching this always makes me want to write an essay.

[troublebrew666]

Thoughts on Ange x Ikuko?

i guess ange is the more common ikuko f/f pairing just by default... it doesn't interest me so much as a ship but i'm very interested in the idea of what they are to each other! (i ended up writing a lot so it's under the break for courtesy)

like the take on their relationship that's been most compelling to me is basically what i wrote in my fics, ikuko seeing her as this figure on the horizon of "someone else she could 'save'" in a borderline-dehumanizing way? in that world ikuko is motivated by her own fantasy of "what if i win over eva and reunite the siblings and have this little fucked-up family all to myself" etc, making tohya a pawn in that scheme, using eva's diary etc (which is where the ikuko x eva ship idea originally came from lol)... but she's never able to actually control ange bc ange is growing into her own woman (ironically in part bc of ikuko's interference in her life)... and ultimately has to give up bc it was just a fantasy.

more generally what i like to explore in ikuko is this kinda, selfish and controlling woman who is too aloof to fully respect the consequences of her actions even as she tries to think of herself as basically benevolent. it's very much influenced by my read of hanyuu manipulating rika, eua manipulating satoko etc? i like imagining a struggle between the "eua" and "hanyuu" sides of her, whether her relationships are just consequence-free entertainment, whether she *needs* someone to dote on (and control) for her gratification, or whether part of her actually wants to do what's good for people... dealing with someone sharp and scarred by life like eva -- or another hypothetical survivor mom -- breaks down her wall of affected superiority and forces her to confront that struggle, which means she also has to reckon with the ways she hurts the people she's convinced herself that she's helping; imo a lot of the more interesting critical reads i see of ikuko x tohya get at that too... so i def could see ange as an extreme example of that. like this smug & self-satisfied older woman getting with an extremely traumatized young adult whose life she's been directly & indirectly interfering in; the vibes are bad, mistakes are made, what are the consequences, how do they feel about it?? that could be interesting to me tho it doesn’t rly call to me as a writing project. or what if they're drawn to each other years later when ange is living as yukari, maybe more in control of her shit than ikuko is?? that actually is very interesting to me 🤔

idk i like thinking abt the ways that peoples' contradictions create general uhh misery in their interpersonal relationships, so if i ever explored them as a ship it'd be grimy and ugly and messy like that lol. tho ultimately i feel like getting with the ange of 1998 would just be beneath ikuko's station... and as to whether the ange of 1998 would gain her independence and immediately be wanting a Problematic Older Woman hookup >_> well i suppose i understand the appeal of the idea

[uebermacht]

Ok, so Minagoroshi was... quite a lot longer than I expected; and for the longest time I wondered how a chapter with a name like that was the most hopeful and optimistic of all of them so far. But then, the final chapters hit.

Up until then, we left mysteries and curses behind us and finally tackled the real enemy: social norms and the public administrative bodies! And the cast splendidly managed to shatter all the obstacles that have been making the other stories so miserable.

That and the chapters length were the reasons why the ending kinda caught me by surprise, because by then I was sure it would be a two-parter with Matsuribayashi and end at the festival, but no, it needed to give you a final punch to the gut while going down.

But what else is there to say, the cat's finally out of the bag and the majority of mysteries are explained in this one. A lot came together as I theorized, but it was still surprising and ironic to see that a lot of the crazed characters delusions of the former chapters actually turned out to be true, but not in the ways we thought.

For the climax: even though I found the character who turned out to be the villain to be suspicious before, her reveal was far more extreme than I imagined. Her motives are, frankly, very bizarre and severely unhinged, almost cartoonishly so, if it wasn't for the really depressing consequences.

Sure, a lot of the reveal and the main casts actions where kinda corny, but I learned from several other stories that even the silliest and most cliche things become immensely powerful and emotionally impactful if you trudge through enough depression and despair beforehand.

And finally, some thoughts on the whole thing with Rika and the addition/reveal of Hanyuu: I suspected some time loop shenanigans for the longest time, since there is little to no other possible in-universe explanation for the narrative structure of the stories.

I personally don't mind it much, but I have to wonder how Hanyuu was received when the story originally came out. Somehow I can imagine that some people might not have been too happy about it, that's how it usually turns out with the inclusion/confirmation of supernatural elements in mystery-centric stories... but oh well.

With this, all the puzzle pieces are on the table and I guess the final chapter will try to piece them all together to a (hopefully) satisfying ending, I'm looking forward to it.

[away-ward]

Devil's Night had so much potential that could set the series apart from other booktok series but it just falls short and on its face. I know you get this asks every day and I really hope I’m not bothering you, but some changes that would make the series a lot better for me are

Not making the Horsemen a wannabe gang or characters of a soap opera. If the plot began with rich kids suffering the consequences of their actions for the first time and later extand that theme to include more plot points that would eventually create a more solid theme, plot, and character arc, it would eliminate the whole mafia-esque theme that just didn’t suit the series. There is no need for them to be a gang or something dramatic. They are just a found family and will have their backs no matter what (with the privilege of money and power on their side).

Rika actually leaking the videos. It would make the series more interesting, and most importantly, make Rika an important character. Can’t come up with reasons for why she would do it right now (other than for a more reasonable reason than Trevor’s) but there is great potential. Her character can still be included to great extent in the following books without being annoying or unreasonable by being "redeemed" as the story goes on. We don’t need her paired with Michael (it can add tragedy, though) but they can still be each other’s love interest.

Getting rid of Blackchurch. I know you like Blackchurch but here me out 🫥. Emory wouldn’t know about Blackchurch if it wasn’t for Aydin, and I want to get rid off him. And while Blackchurch still can exist, I was thinking something along the lines of Will being suspected of Martin’s murder (happening after his initial assault on him that sent him to prison) while still keeping the whole "rich family tries to hide him/pay their way out of the case because they know he is guilty". Will refuses to enlarge information and refuses to plead guilty because he committed the murder with Emory. It can introduce readers to how much power the Graysons have (especially because they have an important political figure as the patriarch) and how much powerless Emory is in comparison.

A less intense Damon and Winter storyline. What do you mean you left a poor girl blind?! I would’ve get a restraining order too ngl. I would also add more significance to Winter’s character but I can’t come up with something right now. She can still be blind but not because of her love interest.

Incorporating the Horsemen concept. It was right there and we were left to starve. Michael can represent war, especially because the horse of war is red. He is leading the war against Rika because of what she did to the other Horsemen. It makes him an actual leader. Kai can represent scarcity, the black horse. It suggests a continuing abundance of luxuries for the wealthy and imperial oppression. It also carries a balance scale and Kai is a libra. Damon can be death, which rides a pale horse, and Will can be conquest, which rides a white horse and represent Christ and the Antichrist. The religious symbolism is already there with the Four Horsemen and the whole book of Hideaway.

Other things I would get rid off is the sexual assault scenes. The guys are supposed to be redeemed and gain sympathy; a sexual assaulter doesn’t deserve any of that. Other unnecessary scenes can be thrown out and a better thought out story could have been written. Not to discredit PD’s work, but Devil’s Night is just not that good of a story. I enjoy the headcanons and the possibilities that came out of the books, not exactly the storylines themselves. SORRY FOR RANTING LUV 💕💕💕🍪

You're so lovely! No need to apologize. I love when people come to the table with new ideas.

I have always said that Devil’s Night had great bones. And for people who are just here for the spicy stuff, I’m sure it does wonders. But I read for plot and characters, and there was so much here to pick at but nothing fully fleshed out.

Not making the Horsemen a wannabe gang or characters of a soap opera

I didn’t fully mind the secret society vibe, but I much would have preferred if it were more like a found family. If the plot were rich kids suffer the consequence of their actions and either learn their lesson or learn to be better criminals, that would have been fun (especially if they just learned to be better criminals but they never did. They never learned anything!!)

But yeah. Totally agree with you here. I’d take found family that has a flimsy relationship with morals and the law when their loved ones are involved over the secret society/mafia/gang vibes that we had any day of the week.

Rika actually leaking the videos.

In the past, I proposed that an interesting storyline would have been if Rika wanted revenge for what happened to her that night, so I can fully understand wanting to give Rika more influence in the story. Maybe after she’s attacked, she ends up with the phone instead of Trevor, but Trevor comes to her later and, seeing how upset she is, convinces her to upload as revenge. She could be sort of thinking: The horsemen don’t get to be judge, jury, and executioner in Thunder Bay, and she’s going to be the one to stop them, not knowing the stories behind the videos she posted.

It falls in the same realm of Banks protecting Damon, and Winter not speaking up about her involvement with Damon, and Emory signing those papers, in that she actually did the thing she’s accused of, but that’s not the full story.

And maybe she should apologize for listening to Trevor, but who’s going to force her after what Damon did? And well, she didn’t know about Martin being a child abuser, but that doesn’t mean the horsemen get to play vigilante.

This creates a more dynamic plot, then just “Rika’s innocent. Revenge Night is off. Everyone go home!”

Getting rid of Blackchurch

…I like the blackchurch plot???

I don’t like the blackchurch plot at all. I would have preferred if Emory had been dragged back to Thunder Bay so that we can see her interact with the characters that I’m actually interested in. No offence to Micah and Rory, or their fans, but I just don’t care about them. Their stories, their families, how they ended up at blackchurch. None of that matters to me.

Give me Banks and Emory! Give me Banks – who knew in Hideaway that Martin was a child abuser and then inherited her father’s empire a year later – try to explain to Emory why Martin is still out there, getting married, getting promoted, having a great life. Give me Banks explaining that Martin is protected by Evans, and that’s why she can’t move on him, otherwise she’d have him strung up (how did Banks not know?). Give me Michael, Winter, and Emory bonding over their terrible siblings. There’s so much potential here that we miss because Emory and Will and Alex are over on an island suffering through Aydin’s power trip.

Let me understand these people.

while still keeping the whole "rich family tries to hide him/pay their way out of the case because they know he is guilty". Will refuses to enlarge information and refuses to plead guilty because he committed the murder with Emory.

Interesting to have Emory involved with the murder. I’m totally in for Will doing it for her, but I never considered Emory being there. There’s so many ways this could go. Very intriguing idea.

So is the idea then that the Grayson’s send Will to Blackchurch so that he can’t arrested? Like if the cops can’t find him, the family can plan his defense? Or are they getting him out of the way because he won’t tell them what really happened, as he’s protecting Emory?

What does Emory do?

A less intense Damon and Winter storyline

I thought the point that it was actually her father that caused her blindness, not Damon? Anyway, Damon seeking revenge on Winter was kinda dumb. Yeah, she didn't speak up. But he straight up manipulated and lied to her. And he was going to go serve time regardless. I think Rika having something on Damon and using that pull to go after Winter's dad for what he did to her dad would have been an interesting plot. Pitting Damon against the girl he wants, who's still suspicious of him, while trying to avoid going back to prison from whatever Rika has on him. Or something. Talk about a chess game. And after he did the same thing to Kai, who would he be to complain? I bet he'd be impressed she successfully took a page from his book.

Winter’s a tricky one. I really don’t know how to give her more power either. I do think I would have preferred if she, after she had her accident, she’d pivoted from dancing to music? Possibly pianist or something. I don’t think it improves her story arc at all, just something that’s a bit more interesting to me. There’s only really one notable blind ballerina and she lost her sight at 19, not 6. And she was an incredible dancer before that, as well, so the whole “Winter doesn’t need a walking stick; Winter can pirouette without spotting; blah blah blah” just really pushes the limits of believability for me. I don’t know.

Incorporating the Horsemen concept

Interesting. First, I’ve always since Michael as the conqueror because his name is Michael (like the archangel) Crist, which is another for of Christ. It’s very subtle, I know.

I saw Kai as War. He literally named his dojo Sensou, the Japanese word for war. He was at war with himself, with Damon, with Banks. It seemed he always had someone to fight and reason to be angry.

Damon as Death because… well obviously. He’s killed at least two people that we know of. And that whole conversation in Nightfall.

And Will as the Famine/Scarcity. He was a glutton before going to Blackchurch, over indulging in everything. Blackchurch represented a cutting off from all of his vices; literally starving himself of what brings him joy. However, it seemed by Nightfall, PD had forgone the Horsemen trend and instead focused on Peter Pan themes? A girl who grew up too quick and a boy who never wanted to. It was weird. I mean, a story can definitely have multiple themes and inspirations. It was just hard to see the horsemen theme in Will.

Anyway. Here’s a fun little graphic I made. Not the best, because I’d never created something like this before, but it was still a fun time.

Other things that could have changed:

Yeah, I would have enjoyed less assualty-scenes too. The KaiBanks one in particular never sat right with me.

There are so many things about this story to enjoy; the characters and the dynamics; the situations and problems posed – all of it was really interesting. And I the hands of a different author would have been a much different story. I’m not angry at PD for writing about what they’re interested in. I just sometimes wish this idea had occurred to someone else. I want this core story, but in a different package.

I enjoy the headcanons and the possibilities that came out of the books, not exactly the storylines themselves.

I share the same sentiment.

Thank you so much for all the time you put into this. Be sure, you’re never bothering me, and I wouldn’t call this a rant by any means. I genuinely enjoyed taking in your ideas!

Ko

[mycatkilledme21]

As much as I dislike Rika I don't want to see her killed but like...I think she at least deserves jail time?? She kidnapped people, was ready to kill others who got in her way and brainwashed innocent people. Like....I get it's a thin line cheritz was walking on since she's mentally ill but there should at least be a get therapy + jail time route. Seeing her just escape without much consequences is very disappointing (and I guess her actions get blamed on someone else??? Idk about that too much though)and I can't take redemption seriously. Haven't done the after ends for Ray and V yet still but I heard they're really really bad with her and V. Man...like. Hell. V be dying left and right doesn't he? Again I don't want EITHER to die but he at least got a serious consequence.

[destinybcnds]

NO for kotone (it was only a matter of time for the big sis rika to come out and protect her from something---)

PIN MY MUSE [ accepting ] Send “NO” to pin my muse against the wall to PROTECT THEM

Kotone is young. Sometimes she forgets for just a moment that the world is a dangerous place. Even with all of her experience to tell her to be careful, she doesn't always heed the voice in her head telling her to pay attention to her surroundings. Her actions have consequences. But it's fine as long as no one else gets hurt. Right...?

At first she was psyched to have Rika with her on this little excursion. Having someone she looked up to join her was exciting and she couldn't wait to show off what she'd learned from all of her travels.

Don't run off ahead. She can hear Rika chiding her from a short distance.

"I'll just be a minute! There's a Pokemon up there that I wanna catch!" Kotone was speeding off as she normally does, unaware of the Pyroar that was lurking nearby, watching their every move.

Kotone was getting ready to throw her Pokemon out to battle when she felt a firm hand grasp her shoulder, pulling her away with a surprised gasp. She winced when she felt her back hit the cliffside. It takes her a moment to come back to her senses and look up to see Rika shouting commands over her shoulder at her Donphan. They were fending off the Pyroar that had almost made a meal out of her.

There would be a lecture later about being more careful, but right now Kotone was struck by how cool Rika was! The guilt for stressing her out would come later.

[regarding-stories]

The Ever-Changing Story (Part 2b): Retcon Asunas destroying each other, a reboot could save them!

Over the course of writing the previous article and after I've come to the following conclusion: Sword Art Online Progressive (SAOP) destroys the continuity of Sword Art Online (SAO). I've talked about this at length, including in that discussion the Hopeful Chant bonus side story that retcons the Yuuna and Nautilus/Seiji into the Aincrad "timeline."

In my mind, this makes the combination of both series into a meta time travel conundrum, worthy of a better Doctor Who episode or Stein's Gate. By transposing Asuna back in time, the paradoxa involved unravel Asuna's character and future. Her core is threatened, her actions change meaning while outwardly looking the same, and none of the retcons have patched this up so far. The Asuna of Hopeful Chant is a wave of change expanding from Progressive into the mainline canon, subverting it more and more into a continuation of Progressive, and this "Asunami" has already rolled over the Sachi story and changed her role in the mind of a good part of the audience, but it hasn't reached the events of the original books yet. As I said, in order to finish that process, Kawahara essentially "owes us" a rewrite of how Asuna decides to pursue Kirito, if not the whole story of SAO Vol. 1 - Aincrad outright.

The inverse is also becoming more apparent: The SAO main series will destroy the core of SAO Progressive if both are forced into the same timeline. It just hasn't happened yet. But the dynamics unleashed by Kawahara have been set in motion, and he will have to resolve them one way or the other. (I'm not implying a binary choice here, though there are two major options that occur.)

Doom from above

There are two ways in which these stories are written:

Top-down: Kawahara takes the overall story outline that he has decided on and places a story in it. This requires reconciling the details with the general outline, so the story is driven by prioritizing the outline over the characters. This style often creates gaps in character arcs, plot holes or, more accurately, "character arc holes." These come into existence because the character marches from plot point to point and is fit into a mold. Plot takes priority over character if both clash.

Bottom-up: In this case, the author places the characters in a situation and lets them act from the established drives, motivations, goals, and behaviors. Ideally, the characters take on their own life and drive the story. This style creates a seamless continuity, but you may not end up where you "want to be." In order to arrive at a certain point you have to seed that endpoint into the characters to begin with.

Kirito in a hall of mirrors

I've been going on how Progressive, for all its greatness, breaks Sword Art Online. Now I will try to demonstrate how SAO (main series) will make Progressive worse.

If both of them should fit into the same continuity, the basic dynamic of Progressive can't persist. Asuna and Kirito need to be ripped apart so that they can come together again.

Please note that this has never been made necessary by the original intent behind Progressive. It was meant to be the story of beating Aincrad, floor by floor. But there is an immediate problem with that - that is how Kawahara writes and how Kirito is written.

Kirito works best when he has a foil. Kirito presents a different self to different characters.

He's a big protective brother to Silica/Keiko when her immaturity traps her into overextending herself, allowing her to not be killed by the consequences of her own choices.

To Sachi he's someone who makes her fear bearable through kindness.

With Liz/Rika he has a game of escalation going. Just look at how he drives her towards committing to making her best sword ever for him. He side-steps her and her thrust basically carries her past him.

To Asuna he becomes the force that invites her into life, love, and becoming herself instead of being defined by duty.

To Sinon/Shino he is the one who can understand her trauma best, faulting himself over the same or a similar thing - the act of having killed in a life-and-death situation. A fellow soul. Somebody who can see her.

To Alice he becomes such an outright example of standing up for his own principles so that she can successfully develop her own in spite of the spell she is under.

People make fun of Sword Art Online's unwanted harem surrounding Kirito. But each of these girls has a good reason to love Kirito and want to be friends with him. Each of them - maybe not Silica (sorry, girl) - could just as validly become a full romantic partner with him were it not for Asuna. It's unclear whether Shino wanted to or how she truly feels about Kyouji, but Kirito and her are definitely more than "just friends." War of the Underworld confirms this. And I left Suguha out because she is actually hard to understand. But she doesn't have to make that much sense - maybe that makes her the most realistic teenage girl of them all.

(By the way, Klein is part of this harem, too. He wears his heart on his sleeve and would follow Kirito anywhere, cry over him and admires him endlessly. Total bromance.)

What I want to express is that Kirito needs another person next to him to be his co-protagonist so that we know who Kirito is! That's why the main series timeline for Kirito is:

Kirito & Klein (SAO 1)

Kirito & Coper (SAO 22)

Kirito & Sachi (SAO 2)

Kirito & Silica (SAO 2)

Kirito & Liz (SAO 2)

Kirito & Asuna (SAO 1, SAO 8, SAO 22)

Kirito & Leafa (SAO 3-4)

Kirito & Sinon (SAO 5-6)

Kirito & Eugeo (SAO 9-14)

Kirito & Alice (SAO 13-18?)

No idea about Moon Cradle.

Kirito & everyone (SAO 21, SAO 23 onward)

Each story featuring Kirito almost only shows him "on screen" while he has a foil of some form. This is even true of the villains - including for example Morte or Kuradeel. We are told about what Kirito does off screen (level, hunt monsters, delve into dungeons) but it isn't shown for long if no other person is present - because it would be boring, uninteresting, and provide none of the exchanges between Kirito and others that "define" his character. If Kirito sneaks off at night to do his own thing, he will inevitably run into another character, be it a player killer or an NPC.

The other people entering his life break or heal his heart, or force him to find out what he believes in and act on it. In some cases like with Coper these characters exist to bend Kirito's arc away from displaying some qualities too early. But Kirito is largely a passive character, at least when he meets a person, unless circumstances are already dire. He is being pulled in by (main series) Asuna because she wants to. He follows along in Sinon's wake because it's at first convenient. He plays this game of escalation with Liz probably because he likes it and also likes to tease her into completely overcommitting herself. Kirito often ends up spending major time with a person he just encountered. And he has inertia. He will carry feelings forward until somebody helps him release them.

That's because he's a free electron suddenly being caught by somebody else's nucleus. He fills other characters' needs. And they become the story and fills his needs in turn, at least the nice ones.

Shino is desperate for a friend, assuming ideally that would be a girl like her.

Asuna needs joy in her life.

Klein needs a tutorial because who reads the damn manual, anyway?

Eugeo needs a swift kick in his ass to do anything. (Okay okay, he needs an understanding and encouraging sensei that keeps him going against his deep conditioning.)

Liz needs the very human contact her personality tends to isolate her from.

Silica needs a protector and friend in need so she can learn her lesson about consequences without dying first.

Sachi needs somebody who can make her feel safe.

Suguha needs the connection back she had with him as a child and that she misses sorely. (And a boyfriend that impresses her. Confusion ensues.)

Alice needs somebody who can help her start becoming her own person, free of the manipulation she's under. (This is different from Eugeo in that nobody needs to kick Alice's ass to get into action. She needs somebody who makes her change the course of action she's already on. Eugeo is inertia. Alice is initially inertia in motion. Both need an outside force.)

All the good dialogue, all the emotions, all the caring and suffering and healing only works if there is a counter-foil for it, and in Kawahara's case this is always one other person Kirito gets entangled with.

How "fixing the future" spells D-O-O-M for Progressive

As Progressive unfolded, it created rifts that Hopeful Chant was the band-aid for. And stories written in the mainline tend to announce events that haven't happened yet in Progressive as if to say "But they have to!"

This kind of arc fixing takes the form of inferences:

If Asuna and Kirito are to resume their original arc in SAO, then they first need to be split apart. Asuna joining the Knights of Blood after the (expanded) disaster of Floor 25 is established in The Day Before (SAO 22). The story was written for a release of the anime, therefore it fixes some facts in place after Aria of the Starless Night (SAOP 1) had already been shoved into canon. Else we can't have Sachi at all or Asuna going after Kirito.

If Asuna and Kirito are meant to split apart, this likely needs some additional leverage. There's some foreshadowing, I forgot where, that some tragic events will happen towards the end of the Elf War quest, either on floor 8 or 9. Possibly also altering Asuna's attitude towards NPCs - as if the stupid 56th floor duel between Kirito and Asuna (at her instigation) needed to be preserved in canon...

If Asuna and Kirito still run into each other, then they need to be forcefully kept apart. Cue the Hopeful Chant side story which introduces Asuna's sense of guilt why she can't act on her feelings for Kirito and go after him.

And this isn't exclusive to Asuna and Kirito: If the Aincrad Liberation Squad (ALS) is meant to turn into the ultimately corrupted Aincrad Liberation Force (ALF)/the Army, then also Kibaou's arc has to be heavily disrupted. But the Kibaou of Progressive cares. So we get this story about his heartbroken, grieving cries for his dead guildmates. This seems to change his arc in the story, but not his character arc. He is a forthright, direct, honorable, fair person, who prioritizes things like beating the game and helping the masses of trapped players through leading by example. In the story, Kibaou's ALS guild is most heavily targeted to be manipulated by Laughing Coffin (SAOP 3 and 4, especially). So Kawahara seems to indeed plot their downfall in some way. BUT. He also shows Kibaou as the honorable guy whose hand is forced. Because he reimagined him as a good guy. By SAOP 8 he's better than he has ever been. While you can force him out of the frontline by killing his closest friends - you can break a person - it's still entirely unclear how a person defined by the traits he displays becomes somebody who willingly does a Player Kill by Monster (MPK) to gain/preserve power. These are entirely different characters so far that only share a name. Just like Asuna's shifted character arc negates future Asuna's inner workings, Kibaou's characterization clashes to an extreme degree. And a few throw-away lines in a side story do not fix this.

The thing is - this whole thing isn't convincing in the first place. If you split Asuna and Kirito apart you somehow need to do it hard enough that they stay apart for almost 50 floors until they are almost as strangers to each other. Then we still need an as-of-yet unwritten event or process that reverses this trajectory for Asuna, and that one hasn't even been revealed yet.

But this creates a host of problems for Progressive. Kawahara has been busy hacking the arc of Sword Art Online to fit Progressive in, but this hems in the story he can write for Progressive for the sake of a story that does not connect. Neither Asuna, Kirito, nor Kibaou do connect with their future selves. And they never really will. But Progressive is shoe-horned in by "events" defined in SAO main series - without any of them having been written. They create a pseudo-continuity.

When the iceberg is supposed to be good for the Titanic

Kawahara has essentially put story icebergs into the waters that Progressive will sail through. While it's ultimately my metaphor, I use it to show the folly of this: You need to sink the character arcs of Progressive to preserve the pseudo-continuity with the main series.

Yes, a character arc means a character changes. So Kawahara could invoke a series of events that lead Asuna to decide she needs to prioritize beating the game over being with Kirito. And he could introduce a series of events that disrupt Kibaou's will to beat the game. But this creates two different kinds of problems.

As I mentioned, if Asuna prioritizes beating the game over being with Kirito, she needs something that will explain to us how this ultimately reverses again. While Hopeful Chant reminds us what her heart really wants, it also tells us why she doesn't pursue it. And even if another side story provides it, it will not fix the continuity problems of "Oh, I don't know you" and "Oh, I have sudden feelings for you" and "Oh, this moment in time started to fix my problems." The Asuna of Progressive has already absorbed basically all of the original main series Asuna's inner arc into her. I'm reading SAOP 5 at the moment, and it is heavily implied in the opening scene that Asuna thinks Kirito will confess his love for her, and she's not ready for that. She's overwhelmed. But she's not saying that she doesn't want that. She is basically saying that something needs to happen first - and that something is likely some resolving of inner conflicts that she so far refused to tackle. But she knows. She increasingly morphs into her final stage. This is floor six. This is an Asuna that probably wondered already what kissing Kirito would be like and then panics at scenarios that have happened in her mind already. (But not in Kirito's oblivious mind. We can always count on Kirito being oblivious.) This matches with the fact that after SAOP 4 there's a rapid decrease of seeing things from Asuna's point of view. Because it would become too revealing to keep this convincingly up.

Kibaou's problem is different. His plot arc would be disrupted but that does nothing to establish a route from A to B, A being that the ALS is an upright force for beating the game, and B is having the ALF as a minor side story villain. By the end of the game, the logout happening a bit more than a week after events he's involved in, Kibaou and his gang are shunned, having been removed from the original MMO Today (now: "the Army") guild. Kirito and Asuna essentially fixed a problem that only would have mattered if the game would have persisted longer. But in doing so, they again established facts that create problems in Kibaou's arc. But only because Kawahara decided to reuse him - and then give him a more likable personality. If this is meant to produce an ultimate Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader moment then I'm not convinced it will work.

The problem with both these events is that they are destined to end Progressive for good. There are two dynamics that they disrupt.

The main dynamics of Progressive

One is the emotional one of the Asuna/Kirito interplay. It's the juicy, heartwarming, funny core that makes the story adorable, and that's also the reason Kawahara included Asuna in the first place. He must have understood what he was doing on some level, because even in SAOP 1 he stated he couldn't imagine another woman/girl at Kirito's side. If it was not Asuna, then the girl would become emotionally so important, it would shove Asuna off her throne at the center of Kirito's heart. And if he killed that girl - and it would have to be a girl - that would topple Sachi's impact. He had "no choice" but to make it Asuna if he wanted to preserve the presence of Asuna. Consider Sinon - the thing keeping Kirito and Shino apart is partially his preexisting deep commitment to Asuna. But had that not existed, the whole story could also start there. Progressive is, like Phantom Bullet, a strong story of companionship. And the act of suffering together, of discovering deep commonalities, of relying on each other for their lives - that creates love. This love could be expressed in different ways, but the story could start in Phantom Bullet and still be convincing. This must have made it clear to Kawahara that if he didn't chose Asuna as Kirito's companion, that Progressive would disrupt SAO even more. Whoever would be by Kirito's side would become a major point character. (Not that there are any good choices here. Retcontinuity has a massive problem here because the gaps in SAO are so massive to begin with.)

The other dynamic is the interplay of the guilds and their designated protagonists. This is the second dynamic - and it tends to contribute a lot to the plot side, mostly. Kawahara also uses it to establish Kirito as the solo "beater," but this became quickly secondary, and the grudging acceptance becomes very apparent throughout Progressive all the time. Kirito is not called "beater." Everybody calls him "Blackie" - showing a mix of acceptance and annoyed distance. You can't owe a person your life that many times and not change your mind about them. So even this attempt at painting Kirito's role in the game is changing. Kirito is not a solo beater. He's ultimately a respected person that becomes the linchpin of holding the frontrunners together. He just doesn't realize this.

The other two dynamics shaping SAO Progressive are the increasing role of high-functioning AI and the attempts by the precursor of Laughing Coffin to disrupt any progress. Together these four dynamics form the core of the series and generate stories and draw the reader in. You could say the story is woven from these threads and sprinkled with a sense of wonder at the fantastc surroundings. And one thread can provide opportunities for another.

But the main thread the others weave around is the thread of Asuna and Kirito growing close to each other. It doesn't drive the story often but defines the emotional attachment of the reader to the story. All the other threads provide drama and action and move the plot. But the dance of Asuna and Kirito, as they orbit each other, sells Progressive to us. Sever this thread and Progressive collapses. By focusing so much of the series on this thread it also depends on it. If Kawahara realizes "the master plan" to shove "canon" into Progressive as he continues writing it, this will end Progressive. And in that sense Sword Art Online altogether. Because at this rate it is likely that Progressive will outlive the main series which concludes after Unital Ring.

Just make it an official reboot already

Everything inside Progressive makes it a de-facto but unadmitted reboot. Had Kawahara presented it as such from the beginning, not much would have changed. It never lived up to the idea of telling the story of beating Aincrad within its existing continuity. And the reason is clear - in order to create his typical foil for Kirito and create reader interest and emotional attachment, Kawahara had to do something about companionship. And that did him in very quickly, but to my personal delight it crafted the best possible story.

Consider Kizmel. Not for her impact on the story, but the conundrum she poses for Kirito and Asuna. She is such a high-functioning AI, she's nigh-indistinguishable from a player. She comes alive and leaves her predefined mold, becomes a character with her own history (that can't have actually occurred, unless SAO deep-generated its story instead of it being planted as level design), and changes course. The quest, however, largely takes place as it should.

Consider this as a (completely meta) metaphor for the whole of Progressive as we have experienced it so far. Then Kizmel becomes the protagonists who take on a life of their own, quickly develop their own dynamic, and rush forward their character arcs. And the quest becomes the relationship between the main plot that binds Kirito and Asuna and their own independent agency. Kirito and Asuna's "future" is as fake as Kizmel's past - depending on how you see it. They can not become these persons anymore, falling in love for the first time, just as Kizmel can become anymore the NPC that dies at the beginning of the quest. Kizmel surviving at the beginning of Elf War diverges the quest from the official template and the beta. Asuna being matched up with Kirito on floor 1 diverges from the SAO 1 and its plot outline. This could even make SAO 1 stand in as "the beta" and Progressive becomes the "real story" of beating Aincrad. Just as there are changes from the beta (that cause the characters lots of excitement and problems), the changes from SAO are what makes Progressive good.

It also shows the massive potential that was wasted by not rewriting SAO as a continuous series to begin with. The original story in SAO 1, for all its weaknesses, created a sort of hagiography - if only in the minds of parts of the fanbase - that the Progressive characters are now forced to evolve into.

I say: Don't do it. Continue the story as it is best for this story. Allow it to be a reboot. Let these characters tell their own story - a story that could be better than the original. In many ways it already is. There's no need to run it into an iceberg for the sake of another story. I believe Kawahara has grown as a writer. Progressive is great like The Isolator is. The characters are better than they have ever been. They deserve their own story for good. All it takes is removing the chains that bind them to the original SAO 1, chains already weak and rusty.

I believe you could tell the story of all floors of Aincrad and still allow SAO 3 - Fairy Dance and all subsequent stories to happen.