#this is for every anon in my asks who wants to confront Rika with some more spice and vinegar

[marshmallowprotection]

Mystictober Day 19

Mystictober 2024 | Day 19: RikaxMC/Healing

"I won't forgive you for what you've done. I hope you know that," you said as Rika curled in on herself. She held herself because it seemed as though she would fall apart if she didn't. "The only reason I think I can trust you and V right now is because if I had to choose between the Prime Minister and you? I, unfortunately, have to choose you."

Rika didn't fight back, nor did she try to dispute your claims. "The lesser of two evils, right? I don't think it's fair to say I appreciate you trusting me, since the last thing you want is my appreciation after all I've done."

You snorted. "I don't want anything to do with you, Rika. I can tell you the same can be said of the RFA. You know, Saeran told me about the reason why you created Mint Eye. You wanted to make sure that you would never be alone again, but if you ask me, you were never alone in the first place. You had the RFA, but that wasn't enough for you, so what did you do? You blew it up, too afraid to let them in, and decided the only way to keep others would be to force them to stay so you would never have to face the truth."

She didn't try to argue against that.

You didn't expect her to fight back anymore. After what she told you and Saeran the night before, you could see all the fight escape her in a heartbeat. However, just because she wouldn't fight back didn't mean you wouldn't tell her what you needed to say. You weren't like your lover, you knew you didn’t need to forgive her to move forward and find peace.

Saeran needed that, but you needed her to know you saw her for what she was.

You wouldn't spare her any kindness, and she knew that from the very moment you met her eyes. How could you forgive her when she and V caused everything to burn like it did? You nearly tackled her in the evening the night before when she shackled Saeran. The one and only thing that stopped you was the agents outside with guns. There was nothing but anger in your heart because of that. It took you a few minutes to help him feel safe again.

She knew his childhood trauma, she knew what he suffered, and seeing those chains on him hurt you just as much as they hurt him.

"I deserve your malice," she whispered.

"I don't want to waste my energy on you, Rika," you turned away from her as tears began to crop up in her eyes. "I want to forget you once I know Saeran and I will be safe from your grasp. I won't forgive you... I'll never forgive you. Saeran may not forget you, because he wants to move forward in life knowing he chose kindness, but in time, neither of us will have to think about you, or what you've done. That's how we will heal... that's how everyone will heal, and if you know what's good for you... you'll move on, too."

You could feel her confused eyes on your back.

You weren't doing this for her sake. You were doing this for the sake of everyone else who would never want to again look her in the eye for what she’d done. You couldn't forgive her, you would never forgive her, but she would tell her the one thing you knew that could not only protect your loved ones but allow her to do what Saeran hoped she’d do. 

"This is the only kindness I'll spare you, Rika Kim, and I'm offering it so you and V can show me the last place you saw my love. If you intend to do as Saeran said and change for the better, you need to let go of the RFA, of Saeran, of Saeyoung, of me, and V. The only way you'll ever escape this web you wound yourself into is if you move on. You'll heal and find a way to wake up in the morning, but you'll never escape your demons or the consequences of your actions. If you are determined to do better, you'll take responsibility and leave."

Saeran would be proud of you, you knew, for choosing to hold your head up high. You also knew he wouldn't be mad if you struck low... and hit her where it hurt. But, to make sure you didn't lose him to a monster in broad daylight, you would offer those words to show her you were capable of holding back your gnashing teeth and burning lungs. You wanted her to live with what she did forever, to carry the weight of her sins with her because her victims would have to do the same, but right now?

Your main concern was finding your way back to Saeran.

"I will," she said.

You weren't sure if you could believe her... but you knew you could believe in Saeran.

"Thank you."

[marshmallowprotection]

In the normal ending of Ray's After Ending, when you ask Saeran where Saeyoung is, he responds that Seven is visiting Rika, which seems strange to me because we already know the resentment that Saeyoung has towards everyone who harmed his brother even though Saeran has forgiven them. I don't understand why he visited her, do you have any theories?

Saeyoung will never forgive Rika, V, or Saejoong Choi. That is a given and it will always be a fact. However, as Anon has said the Alternative Ending for Saeran's After Ending, we are shown this prompt that lets us ask for Saeyoung is for the day, implying he's not at the house we all share as a family. Saeran gives a single sentence response, "I think he went to visit Rika."

This is six months after the confrontation with Saejoong Choi.

It took three months to wipe the agency off the map, and while it is mentioned Rika and Saejoong's trials are either in process or done with by the six month mark, we know that Jihyun's trial has not yet been held. Jumin mentions that Jihyun will likely be set free after his trial, which leads me to assume he's been in holding this entire time. Regardless, if Saeyoung went to visit Rika, she's sitting in a meeting room at the prison.

I believe the only possible reason why he wanted to visit her was to speak his mind. He's not there for closure, because he is always going to be angry about what happened, and he's never going to forgive her, but for him to be able to move forward in any capacity, he needs to speak his mind.

Rika is willing to take everything Saeyoung has to give, just as she did in V’s After Ending, if not more so in this timeline. So, I think he went to visit Rika to do that. He's not there to talk TO her, he's there to talk AT her, if that makes sense. He wants answers, sure, but he wants to say what he feels, too.

He is going to speak his mind and she's going to listen. He might let her talk, and she may get to speak about her actions and her choices up until she was caught, but he will gain nothing from it other than what he already knows. “I never should’ve trusted you back then, I should've run away and took my chances on trying to get out of that house myself. My brother is a better person than I’ll ever be because I won’t forgive you. I hope you rot.”

I feel like he would be able to go through something cathartic by being able to do that, but that's not the only reason why I think he would need to confront Rika.

Nobody in the RAE tells Saeyoung that Rika was the one who struck down Mother Choi in self-defense. His birth mother is dead, and he doesn't even get to tell her what he thinks of her like he could with his damn father. He gets no choice in how to process Mother Choi's life being lost for good. Saeyoung doesn't love his mother, he hates her with every fiber in his being, but he was denied the chance to say it to her face.

He's going to have a long talk with Rika about his mother... and it's gonna be messy. Saeyoung saw Rika and V as his adopted parents, and that hurt... God. If it was covered in the game in this route, I'd be sobbing right now. I don't think I could handle it. I don't even know if I can imagine how that talk would go!

(I personally believe Saejoong let Saeyoung be the one to take him down because that was the only fucking good he could offer his son, and Saeran likely suggested that. "If you want to do something right for once in your life, let my brother have some peace in knowing he took you down because you are the reason why my big brother can't sleep at night. He lives in terror. If you have enough sense to visit me before you turn yourself in, you have enough sense to let Saeyoung have what he deserves.")

So, yeah, visiting Rika isn't about making peace, it's about getting answers about the lies and talking about Mother Choi. Hell, he might visit Jihyun for a similar reason, I don't know for sure. But, what I do know is that Saeyoung Choi is going through it and I love that man so much, like a brother, and it's hard to watch him hurt.

[marshmallowprotection]

What are some of the things you want to see in the after ending?

Oh, God, Anon. There are countless things that I want to see in Saeran’s After Ending and honestly, I don’t know what to expect. I’ll go ahead and jot down all of whatever is coming to my mind at the moment since I’ve had plenty of time to consider what I want and what I wouldn’t like. Needless to say, stop here if you don’t want Ray Route Spoilers.

Okay, now that I’ve warned you I can talk about my thoughts on the matter. 

Let’s see! I want Saeran and Saeyoung to see each other again. I want their father to be taken away and anyone that would threaten the boys ever again to go down. I want Saeran and Saeyoung to live without fear. I want them to not have to hide who they are. I want them to be able to get to know each other since it’s been nearly ten years since they saw one another and that’s a long time to be separated from your twin. 

I want Saeran to have realistic moments where he holds his breath and we support him, standing by his side as he learns to over come the brainwashing and coding that took control of him. He will have his ups and downs. He should push himself and be ready to pull back when it’s too much for him. I want him to know that he can say no. 

Therapy. Please, I recommend therapy for not only Saeran but everyone else in the RFA. We all need to admit that we need to talk about what’s going on and work on getting better together. That’s just a given, I would love to actually see that played out. 

Time-skips could be okay, but I want them to be reasonable. 

I want him to learn independence. I want him to pick what he does for himself and if he looks at us, I want him to know that we have faith in him and that we understand that it will take him time to understand freedom. I want to enjoy our time together as we work to find Saeyoung. 

I want to see him become closer to the RFA. I want to see his friendships grow with everyone. I want to see everyone learn the truth and hold tight to one another as they always do. 

The RFA can whether any storm that they go through and I believe in them to get through it. I want to see Saeran stiffly react to Zen and Yoosung as he learns how to be a good friend. I want him to laugh and get along with Jumin. I want him to get know Jaehee and see that he can share his hobbies with another person. There’s a lot that I want to see in terms of relationship growth.  

I want to see Saeran just learn and grow in front of us while he gets better. I want to be there to see that. I think I would love to see some domestic moments with him more than anything. I want to hold tightly to his hand and remind him that he’s not alone. 

In the end, maybe building a new house together where he can have a garden and the sunlight, and Saeyoung can live with us. There’s a lot of ways that I try to imagine the domestic ending but there’s so many things that I want that it’s hard to write them all down. I just think about what Saeran says in the lyrics of Four Seasons and I want all of that. 

I want to be with him for all Four Seasons of our lives and I want see that play out however it will. I want the ups and downs, I want the highs and lows, I want to see that we can weather any storm. There’s no way to go wrong with thinking about what Saeran deserves. 

Let us have that picnic that Ray always wanted. 

Please. 

There’s just so much, Anon.

Don’t even get me started on Saeyoung. I want to be there for him and show him that his brother isn’t alone. I want him to see us together holding hands and let him have that moment realization that even though Saeran went through a lot of harm while they separated, he wasn’t alone through all of it. I can’t say how many times I’ve thought about Saeran needing to step away from his brother to breathe and collect himself while he sit with Saeyoung.

I would love a one on one with him.

I can’t say how much I’d choke up if he thanked us for loving his brother. The guilt in his eyes as he cries and we reassure him. I think that’s one thing that I want the most with Saeyoung. I want him to know freedom from his chains and I want to help him too. 

Oh, and I hope Vanderwood is okay. 

Now, in regards to what I sincerely don’t want is a repeat of what went down with V’s After Ending. 

I’ve shared my feelings on that matter before and I understand that Cheritz was going for that moral high-road that many people take where they say that it’s better to forgive on your path to healing, and while that can be good for some people, it can leave a sour taste in the mouth of people who don’t pick to forgive the people that hurt them. 

I don’t choose to forgive the people that hurt me in many cases. That doesn’t make me a bad person. The problem with the Forgive/Judgement ending is that it can make you feel ashamed for not forgiving someone who quite literally, took funds from the RFA’s first two parties (that’s the only way she could’ve gotten the money to fund Mint Eye, even coercion and manipulation of people on the level that Rika does wouldn’t give her that much ability), manipulated and gas-lit Ray and Saeran for years, deceived and drugged countless people, so on and so forth. 

I hate that she’s never punished for her actions. She needs to be rightfully punished for what she did. I want her to get therapy, and I want her to learn that she was wrong for what she did to everyone. I want her to be able to get better for her own health, and I don’t think she should ever be contact with anyone in the RFA ever again. But, that’s up to the RFA if they choose to speak with her or interact with her, not mine. I don’t want her to die, I want her to learn what she did was wrong. 

It’s not Mika (Rika Behind Story Spoilers) who went through the cult. Rika had every chance to stop while she was ahead but she kept doing it. I would not forgive Rika, and I would never want to be around her ever again if I were in the position of the RFA when the truth is made known.  

The only action that Rika ever took that could be looked at with the filter of self-defense was when she panicked when the boy’s mother tried to get close to her and harm her in a drunken rage. She acted to protect herself in that situation, but that’s the only thing that she’s ever done that someone could look at and say, she was protecting herself. She felt threatened. She panicked, she blacked out and protected herself from harm. 

Don’t get me started on V. I love V, he’s not perfect, he fucked up a lot and he shouldn’t have gone back to Rika. It feels like he saw us love, forgive, and stand by Saeran and thought that he could be able to do the same for Rika, but that is not what will help him or Rika. They don’t need to be together again. They need to be fair away. Rika and V literally burned down the boy’s childhood home and V was wearing his sunglasses, so I can only presume that Rika harmed his eyes after he went to her. 

Saeran himself says that he wants to tell everyone about Rika and V, but he needs to be able to discuss it with V. Even Saeran understands that V is a victim to some degree and he wants to help him. That was a big fucking comment on his part and I was proud of him for that. But, V left and we don’t know if we’ll ever see him again. So, I really don’t know how that’s going to be handled in the slightest, Anon. 

I don’t want Rika and V together, like, ever again. 

I want Rika to be punished for her actions and caught. I want V to get away from her and start to learn to love himself again and grow. I believe in him but he’s in need of someone to cheer him on when that abusive relationship ends. I really don’t want a repeat of V’s After Ending. 

Don’t make me forgive Rika. Don’t make Saeran forgive her, either. That’s my worst case scenario fear. I want Saeran to be able to grow and get healthier, for sure, but his final confrontation with Rika should be the last time that he ever thinks about her. He made his mind up and he made it clear that she was wrong and he would never be tricked by her again. 

I want him to stand his ground on that. I’ll stand by him no matter what he chooses to do, though. So, I want this to be about Saeran and Saeyoung coming together again, and helping V get out of that relationship with Rika, as well as Rika facing punishment for her actions. But, that might be asking a bit too much, haha. 

I also just want to kiss my boy... once... maybe twice.