#toronto holiday party reader

[taratarotgreene]

29 degrees, 11:22 Master Number Day, Sagittarius season

The Sun Mars and Ceres, the Great Mother or creative source in the death and rebirth sign of Scorpio, the 8th sign, are all at or on the 29th most critical degree. This is the most Scorpio things get on November 20-21st! It feels Very very intense. Like can’t get no relief. They are all in a supportive sextile of 60° away to Pluto also at the 29th degree of the 10th sign of world power, career…

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — James has a huge crush on his labmate, the only question is how long will it take him to ask her out? (Answer: it's longer than you think)

WARNINGS — cancer mentions, patient death from cancer, drugs, alcohol (don't be mistaken this fic is tooth-rotting fluff)

NOTE — Okay this fic has come up from my compulsory need to elaborate on anything Canadian so if you ever wanted to see James at McGill, this fic is most definitely for you! Also I guess it's indirectly mentioned that reader was raised in Quebec, but obviously doesn't have to be "Quebecois" for this to work

Pronounciation — Jian = Chyehn

James chewed on the inside of his cheek as he walked up to the Stewart Biological Sciences Building on McGill campus. For some reason, it was so much more intimidating now that he was actually a student. During the tour he had his mother’s reassuring hand on his back, his father’s words of comfort that he would most definitely be accepted when he applied. 

Now that he had made it, he had to prove he belonged, but it could have been worse. His friends at Harvard and the University of Toronto had told him so. He was getting the best of both worlds, a prestigious school and, hopefully, not as much pressure as the rest of them. 

Without loitering any longer, he made his way inside and looked around to find the right lecture hall. It couldn’t possibly be that hard, could it?

After his first semester James had realized he’d made a few mistakes. One was living in a French speaking part of town without knowing a lick of the language, but that one was the easiest to deal with. The others were more in the realm of the amount of sleep he was getting and underestimating how much content the professors could shove down their throats in 14 weeks. 

He was more than happy to return to New Jersey for the holiday break to rest and recuperate before going back to the winter wonderland hell that was Montreal, but this time he was confident he would be more prepared. 

And for the most part, he was. He got enough sleep, partied responsibly (except Fridays, he partied hard then), always submitted his work on time and maintained his good GPA, making up for his poor fall semester. What he didn’t expect, however, was a distraction. 

When you walked into the room James watched you curiously, he thought maybe he’d seen you somewhere before, but he couldn’t quite place it. Besides, you were much more interesting than watching his sample boil for another five minutes. 

You came and took a seat next to him, taking out your safety goggles and lab notebook from your bag before shoving it under the table. 

“You’re sample’s boiling over,” you said, but James didn’t register you were talking to him at first, still looking at you in a slightly dazed manner before you physically pointed to the beaker, making his eyes go wide as he frantically turned down the heat and removed it. 

“It’s a wonder you passed the lab safely quiz,” you teased and James blushed. 

“Good thing I don’t want to be a chemist.” 

“Oh, and what do you want to be then?” you asked, preparing your own sample for boiling. 

“A doctor,” he shared with a little more confidence. 

“Any specialty in mind or just a doctor,” you said, doing air quotes over the word. 

“I’ve been shadowing some of the researchers in the Life Sciences Research Complex and I think oncology might be a good fit for me.” 

“Yeah, as long as you don’t have to boil cancer cells you should be fine,” you assured him. 

“What about you?” he rolled on the balls of his feet as he continued his experiment. “Or are you all talk?” 

“Pfft, you think I’d be here if I was all talk?” you asked. “No, I want to be a medical researcher.” 

“Maybe you should do some shadowing in the LSRC then.” 

“No thanks, I think I’ll stick to my job there.” 

“Your job?” James looked at your wish surprise. “Aren’t you like 18?” 

“Almost,” you smiled. 

“How did you manage to get a job there? They barely let undergraduates in the labs, let alone be responsible for anything.” 

“It’s nothing fancy,” you assured him. “I just do cataloguing for now, but it's a good experience.” 

“Still,” he raised his brows, “you must be like a prodigy or something.” 

“Again, no,” you shook your head. “Just someone who goes after what she wants.” 

There was a comfortable pause where you both took down your distillation set ups and began working on the filtration portion of the experiment. 

“So what’s your name, anyways?” you asked, looking over at him. “Hey, look, clamp it this way,” you demonstrated and he followed your lead, seeing how much more stable the glassware was afterwards. 

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I’m James.” 

You told him your name and continued your work again in silence.

Chemistry labs quickly became the favourite part of James’ week. 

Ever since that lab, James began to see you in all his classes. On more than a few occasions, he’d had to steal notes from his friends on account of forgetting to pay attention. It became an easy thing to tease him about, so his friends began calling him heart-eyes, because who was he kidding, he had a crush. 

“Get your head out of your ass, heart-eyes, I am not giving you my notes again,” his friend, Carlo, shoved his arm and whispered harshly as he could see him getting distracted. 

“Sorry,” James shook his head and began scribbling down what he had missed, his eyes darting back and forth from the board and back to you. 

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Pierre asked him after class. “Don’t you talk all the time in the lab?” 

“More like I stare at her and she says stuff to make it not awkward,” he cringed at his own actions. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Every time I’m with her I can’t string together a sentence, and– Jesus Christ you should have seen my face last week! Full on red, like I can’t even be subtle about it!” 

“Yikes,” Jian grimaced. 

“It’s bad, I know,” James assured. 

“And this is why we call you heart-eyes,” Carlo patted James on the back. 

“Yeah, say it a little louder, maybe she’ll hear you,” James said sarcastically. 

“Who’ll hear you?” the group of boys heard a voice behind them and all their eyes went wide as they spun around and saw you. 

“No one!” Jian was quick to answer in the least nonchalant way possible, making the rest of the group, especially James, stare daggers at him. 

“It’s not no one,” Carlo attempted to save face. “Just… this girl back in uh New Jersey that James’ got the hots for,” he gained confidence with every word of the sentence before adorning a smug smile on his face and patting James yet again on the back. 

“You’re afraid a girl in New Jersey will hear you?” you looked curiously at James but he just stared blankly at you. “So you call him heart-eyes?” you instead turned your attention to his friends and they nodded. “That’s cute, maybe I’ll call you that too.” 

“Sure,” was all a red faced James could get out before you excused yourself to head over to work. 

Pierre was trying very hard to keep a straight face while you walked away and James slapped both Carlo and Jian upside the head. 

“What the hell was that! Could you not have been more obvious, Jian? And Carlo, a girl back in New Jersey? Now she thinks I’m pining for someone else!” 

“On the plus side, maybe she’ll think all your blushing around her is a circulation issue,” Pierre shrugged. 

“You guys are the worst,” James shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets, continuing to walk along the path to one of the libraries. 

“No, we just saved your ass,” Carlo caught up with him. “However terribly, but if we didn’t say anything you would have stared at her with your mouth open like a trout.” 

“Carlo does have a point,” Jian agreed, “At least we bought you a little time to get your act together.” 

James sighed, “You guys have too much faith in me.”

“You said that when I started to teach you French and you’ve come a long way with that,” Pierre said. 

“Yeah, sure I went from saying nothing to being able to say Je m'appelle James et je ne parle pas français.” 

“And what a handy sentence that is when you don’t speak French!” Pierre grinned and James couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head. 

“Okay, I’ll try and get my act together and ask her out…and learn more French.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Carlo patted his back. “Now let’s go get a drink and relax.” 

“Maybe after we study for our physics midterm?” James nudged his friend and Jian nodded his head in agreement. 

“Fine, I guess if we have to,” Carlo sighed. 

“Not everyone is naturally good at kinematics, Carlo. Take pity on us mere mortals who have to study,” Pierre responded, eliciting a chuckle from his buddies. 

James was quiet as he thought to himself. If he could get a B on this physics test, maybe there was hope for him getting his act together after all.

—

Summer break rolled around faster than James had expected. While Jian went back to Richmond, Pierre over to Quebec City, and Carlo to Chicago, James was left alone in Montreal, working to help pay his tuition for the next year. Being an international student was no joke. 

He would have gone back to New Jersey, but the positions he applied to in Montreal paid more so it wasn’t a hard decision to make. 

His parents would come visit him for some time in July, but for the most part he was alone. 

On late nights, he’d make his way to the McDonald’s in the neighbourhood, not knowing enough French to go anywhere else nearby. At least there, most of them spoke enough English to take his order, and if not it was really easy to point to the menu. 

“It’s already done?” he asked. 

“Give us some credit, hein. We knew you were coming, we had it ready.” 

James chuckled and handed him the money for the order, exchanging it for the bag which he took to a table and sat down. 

As he was pulling out his fries from his bag he heard the chime of the door and looked up curiously to see who was coming at this time of night. 

He stopped what he was doing when he recognized you, watching as you dug through your purse and spoke to the cashier in French. You both laughed about something James couldn’t quite catch and a little while later, after you had paid they handed you a bag and an ice cream cone when James heard you say something about ‘deux cuillères’ taking the utensils they gave you and turing straight towards James’ table, pulling out the chair across from him and sitting down. 

“I thought you lived in New Jersey,” you said. 

James was still stunned that you had noticed him and couldn’t find the words to speak. 

“Hey, heart-eyes?” you waved your hand in front of his face. “You okay?” 

“Y-Yeah,” he nodded, distracting himself by pulling out his burger from his bag. 

“So why aren’t you in Jersey?” you asked. 

“Work. I got a job here, it paid better.” 

“Hmm,” you hummed thoughtfully while eating some of your fries. “And all your friends?” 

“Back with their families, unfortunately for me,” he nodded. “W-What about you?” 

“Oh, I live here,” you shrugged. “In this neighbourhood actually.” 

“You live here?” he asked. 

“That’s what I said,” you nodded. 

“And so that’s how you know French?” 

“Every kid in Quebec learns French, it’s kind of a non-negotiable,” you shared. “I gather that’s why you’re eating here.” 

“Yeah, Pierre didn’t manage to teach me enough before he left,” he sighed and started to eat his meal. 

“I could teach you if you want. I’m taking a little break this summer so I have some spare time,” you offered. 

“Oh, I don’t want to-,” 

“James, you’re gonna have a shitty summer if you don’t say yes.”

He couldn’t argue with that, it would be nice to communicate more with the people who lived around him. 

“Okay, sure, but I’m warning you, I’m a terrible student.” 

“I used to tutor one of my siblings, trust me it can’t be worse than that,” you laughed. 

You chatted a little more, finishing your meals but not before you handed James a spoon. 

“So this is cuillère then?” he asked. “I-I overheard you talking to Jean.” 

“Yeah, your pronunciation isn’t bad either,” you nodded. “Here.” 

You pushed the ice cream cone between you and began to eat it with the spoon. James had a bit of a sweet tooth and wouldn’t be one to refuse dessert so he began to share the ice cream cone with you. 

“So, are you missing your girl in New Jersey?” you asked and James cursed internally, trying to come up with a lie to tell you. 

“Um, no not really,” he shook his head. “I don’t think we would have worked out anyways.” 

“Oh, so are your friends still calling you heart-eyes?” 

He nodded his head, thinking it was better not to say anything in case he gave himself away. 

“It’s good that you recognized you wouldn’t work out before you asked her out,” you said, “Couple guys wanted to go on dates with me this year, but just didn’t seem like the right fit. Plus, I don’t really think I’m looking for anything like that right now.”

James nodded his head again, silently eating the ice cream. 

“Ever been in love, James?” you asked. 

“That’s a really loaded question to ask someone you cornered in a McDonald’s at 11 P.M.” 

You ignored his response and continued, 

“I haven’t, it seems like such a big thing, how would you even know if it was love?” 

James looked up at the ceiling, silently asking God to not let him say something stupid, 

“I think most of the time it comes on gradually, maybe you won’t even know it at first.” 

“So you have been in love,” you confirmed and he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I…I don’t know. Maybe I have.” 

“That’s not a very straightforward answer.” 

“Then maybe I haven’t. I feel like if it was love, you’d figure it out, eventually.” 

You pursed your lips and nodded your head. 

“I hope I get to fall in love,” you smiled softly to yourself. “Seems nice.” 

“Yeah,” James agreed. “It does.” 

—

A few years later… 

“So how did it go?” Jian asked, as they sat around James’ small living room. 

“It…could have been better,” James sucked in some air through his teeth, recalling a recent memory from earlier that afternoon. 

“What the fuck James! You scared the shit out of me! I could have broken the hemocytometer, do you know how much that shit costs?!” 

“Sorry!” James quickly apologized and dropped his books down on the nearest surface to help you clean up, making you look up again at him with disdain. 

“In the BSC? Really? Now we have to resterilize and all the specimens I have in there are as good as compromised.” 

“Shit,” James muttered under his breath, he was usually so much better in the lab, but the second he was with you he became a bumbling mess. “I-I’ll take care of the BSC, I’m so sorry.” 

You sighed and removed your gloves, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“It’s not just boiling water we’re dealing with anymore, James,” you said a little more calmly than before. “You’ve gotta be more careful, okay? I’m not losing my job over this.” 

James nodded his head and went to grab the things to sterilize the biological safety cabinet and grab the new specimen from the fridge. So much for trying to get a job at LSRC to impress you. 

“I was not built to be a researcher,” James shook his head. 

“I mean, it’s not that big of a screw up, you fixed it eventually, didn’t you?” Pierre asked.

“Yeah, but not until after a thorough amount of embarrassment.” 

“I thought girls found clumsy guys endearing,” Carlo commented. 

“Not when the girl is determined to become the leading medical researcher on the continent,” James sighed. “Maybe taking this job was a bad idea. From what I can see she hasn’t even changed her opinion on dating, she hasn’t been with anyone these past three years.” 

“Do you hear that?” Carlo removed his feet from the coffee table and placed them on the ground. “You’ve been in love with her for three years and haven’t done anything about it.” 

“Who said I was in love with her? And sure, maybe I haven’t made a move, but I learnt French!” James tried to defend himself, pointing to Pierre. 

“That’s not as good of a comeback as you think it is,” Pierre shook his head. 

“I know,” James hung his head low and sat on the couch between Pierre and Jian. “We’re gonna graduate in a year and she’s not gonna know I’m in love with her.” 

“So you are in love with her?” Jian looked over at his friend sympathetically. 

James leaned back and used the heels of his palms to cover his eyes. 

“He’s gonna have a meltdown, don’t ask him that,” Pierre shook his head. 

“God, I do love her!” he exclaimed like he was just finding it out for the first time himself. 

“What did I say,” Pierre sighed. 

“Can I make it stop?” James looked over at his friends who all shrugged. “I am so screwed.” 

“This time, I think we agree with you,” Carlo took a sip of his drink. “Good luck, man.” 

James squeezed his eyes shut, he would definitely need it. 

—

The year passed to graduation and James was still sitting on his feelings. It was much too late now to say anything. You’d already been accepted to a graduate program through your work with the LSRC and James had passed his MCAT with flying colours and was on his way to medical school at Columbia. 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was going to miss Montreal, the city had grown on him during his time there and a part of him wished he could stay. 

His friends were also ready for the next stages in their studies, all going to different places across the continent to get their other degrees, with, of course, the promise to stay in touch. 

James didn’t know what the next little bit of his life had in store for him, but he hoped regardless of where he ended up, maybe he’d be able to make up for his missed opportunities. 

The years of medical school, once started, passed faster than James expected them to, and by the end of it, much to his own surprise, he’d also gotten married. 

You were almost all but forgotten in the back of his mind, but time continued to play its games. 

Medical school turned into a specialization in oncology, and a divorce. Then residency and a marriage. Then a second divorce. Then another marriage and more recently a position at a hospital in his hometown, on the board and a well respected oncologist and a few new friends…and a third divorce. 

“House, I’m not asking you to let them all sleep in your apartment, it’s just a dinner for one night, we’ll be out and about for the rest of the time that they’re here,” James sighed. 

“Can’t you just cancel?” House asked. “Divorce seems like a pretty good reason to get out of a reunion.” 

“See, the thing is, I’d rather not be miserable and see my friends instead, and they bought their tickets months ago. Please, House, I’ll do the dishes for a week.” 

“A month,” House said. 

“Two weeks,” James negotiated and House nodded, so they shook on it. 

“Good, now that I’ve done you a favour, you can do me one,” House smiled, but the kind of smile that was conniving, like he had something up his sleeve all along. 

“I paid you in chores for my favour, who says I owe you anything?” 

“Unless you want me to call your friends and cancel for you, you’ll do it,” House continued to walk the hospital’s hallways hobbling with his cane. 

“What is it?” James sighed, catching up with him. 

“We have a patient and he doesn’t speak very good English, but he does speak French. You went to McGill didn’t you? Must have picked up some of the love language.” 

“Unfortunately for me in this case, I did,” he nodded. 

“Perfect, come with me now,” House motioned with his head to the patient’s room and James trailed behind him. 

When he entered the room, House motioned for him to begin speaking. James hadn’t spoken a lot of French since his undergrad so he was definitely rusty, but he supposed it was better than nothing and began to explain that he would be helping with the translation.

“Erm, Bonjour, je suis Dr. Wilson, je vais aider Dr. House avec la traduction.” 

The man looked at James strangely before saying. 

“You’re an anglophone, but you speak French like you’re Quebecois.” 

“I um did my undergraduate in Montreal, I learnt how to speak there,” James responded back in French. 

“Hmm.” 

James could tell this wasn’t going to be fun. Some of the French held quite a bit of hate towards Quebec, who knew why, but his accent definitely wasn’t going to help him in this situation. 

House got James to ask some routine medical history questions and a few things about his symptoms all the while James had to filter out all the insults that were coming his way with regards to his “poor use of language” and “unintelligible accent”. 

When he could finally leave the room, James let out a string of French curses under his breath, still thinking in the other language. 

“House, why can’t you just get a proper translator?” he asked. “I’m terrible at this.” 

“Cuddy said something about making a big purchase recently and being currently unable to do so, especially since you put that you speak French in your resume. Bet you’re regretting that one now.” 

“Yeah,” James nodded his head. “Big time.” 

They began to walk towards the elevator to go to the cafeteria for lunch, when James decided to inquire more about Cuddy’s big purchase. 

“Oh, she said something about money this, medical research that,” House shook his head, “You know I stopped listening the second she wouldn’t give me what I wanted.” 

“She hired a medical researcher,” James said aloud, chewing on the words, “I wonder who she-,” 

His train of thought was cut off when he saw, near the elevator, a face he hadn’t seen since graduation day at McGill. 

Quickly, unable to think of anything else to do, he ran into the administrative area and hid crouched down behind a photocopier. 

House watched his friend curiously before walking over towards him and leaning against the copier asked him if he’d gone insane. 

“No, I just, um, remembered I needed to copy some patient files,” he lied. 

“You don’t have any with you,” House said. 

“I faxed them from my office,” he lied again. 

“I think I need to go get Foreman, clearly you’re having a neurological breakdown,” House said. 

“Can you just stop making it obvious I’m here?!” James exclaimed in a whisper. 

Unfortunately for him, as you were walking past, his harsh whisper made his location obvious, causing you to look down and see his familiar face. 

“Oh my God, heart-eyes, is that you?” you asked with a smile and James pressed his lips in a thin line and nodded. “What are you doing down there?” 

James became speechless and suddenly he was an eighteen-year-old back in his chemistry lab. 

“He’s checking to see if we need more toner,” House said, lying for his friend, but James knew that was all he would get out of him. “Well, that’s my cue to leave, you guys have fun.” 

You reached down and offered James a hand, helping him back into a standing position. 

“I haven’t seen you in so long,” you commented. “Like since we were-,” 

“22,” James filled in and you nodded. 

“Yeah,” you bit your lip before asking him how he had been. 

“Oh, you know,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I-I’m assuming you’re the medical researcher Cuddy hired?” 

“That would be correct,” you smiled. 

“Why did you choose to work here? I thought you were some big hotshot in Canada?” 

“I am a big hotshot, which is why I wanted to come to a teaching hospital. I thought maybe it would give more opportunities to teach other people what I know. It’s a win-win. I get to do what I want to and the hospital gets grant money from my research,” you explained. “It looks like you got where you wanted to be too, Mr. Oncologist.” 

���Actually it’s Dr. Oncologist,” he joked and you laughed, making his cheeks go red after hearing the sound.

“I missed having you around, James. We should catch up sometime,” you suggested. 

“Yeah sure,” he nodded. “I-I’d love that.” 

You excused yourself, needing to go introduce yourself to a class of medical students, waving goodbye to James, leaving him stuck in his tracks for a few moments before he could gather his senses again and head downstairs for lunch. 

—

“We could have rescheduled if this was too much, man,” Carlo watched James as he brought a large roast to the table for them to eat. 

“See? What did I tell you,” House rolled his eyes and James gave him a disapproving stare. 

“No, I wanted you guys to come, we’ve been planning this for months. I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of it,” he assured his friends. “Plus, we know how hard it is to nail down Pierre, I swear you are always travelling. Every time we talk you’re in a different country.” 

“That’s the life of a parasitologist,” he shrugged and helped James by beginning to cut the roast. 

“And Jian, how’s the wife and kids?” 

“They’re good,” Jian smiled. “Mei started first grade in September. Becky and I are both up for promotions at the hospital, so I can’t really complain. Although I think Carlo can.” 

“Seriously it’s not that big of a deal,” Carlo groaned, “Sure yeah, pharmaceuticals are more flashy than biophysics, but that doesn’t mean that my research wasn’t better.” 

“Well if it was better why did William get the award?” James asked and Carlo just flipped him the bird. 

“Didn’t we go to school with him?” Pierre asked. 

“We did?” James raised a brow. 

“Yeah, for a year, from Toronto, huge stoner. Hated being there and did literally no work, but still managed to get honours,” Jian explained. 

“Sounds like my kinda guy,” House commented and James rolled his eyes. 

Just as they continued to dish out dinner, House’s pager went off and he sighed, excusing himself from the table while practically threatening James to leave him some food. 

When House left, James’ friends saw their opening and began their personal line of questioning. 

“Hey, James, are you really okay?” Jian asked. 

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” James asked in return. 

“You’re getting a divorce,” Pierre said. “Seems like a pretty good reason to not be okay.” 

James shook his head, 

“Yeah sure, it’s a shitty situation,” he admitted. “Did I imagine myself at this point in my life with three failed marriages? No, definitely not. Can I do anything to change it? Also no, and right now I really wouldn’t want to change it.” 

“Can we ask what happened?” Carlo queried. 

“She cheated on me, then left me,” James said simply. 

“Forgive me,” Pierre said. “But you seemed a lot more upset when we talked over the phone last week. What changed?” 

James looked down at his plate and cut into his roast, thinking about what Pierre had said. It was true, even earlier today he was sulking about, that was until he ran into you. 

“I swear,” James started, “if you guys make a big deal about this I will murder you all,” he used his knife to point at all of them and they nodded, swearing their silence. “I’ve got heart-eyes again.” 

“You met someone new?” Jian asked and Carlo shook his head. 

“No, he re-met someone old. Tell me, did your hospital recently hire a medical researcher?” 

James nodded his head and the table was about to erupt into a loud chorus of comments when James gave them a look and they all restrained themselves. 

“James, I’m being dead serious when I say this, but you should have married her,” Pierre insisted. “I never saw you look at anyone else the way you looked at her.” 

“Probably explains the three divorces then, doesn’t it? I was still in love with her the whole time,” James sighed. “It’s going to come up eventually, seems like a pretty big indicator that I’m not good at relationships.” 

“Who knows, maybe she won’t care,” Jian offered. 

“What was it like when you saw her again?” Carlo asked, looking for any opportunity to tease his friend. 

“How do you think it was? I could barely talk, I was a nervous wreck, and blushing like crazy,” he shook his head at the thought of it. “I could literally feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I feel like a middle school girl every time I’m near her.”

“Who knows, maybe she still thinks you have circulation issues,” Jian shrugged and the table laughed. 

“What I would give to stay here and watch this play out,” Carlo sighed and leaned back in his seat. 

“Knowing James, you’d have to be here for ten years before he made a move on her,” Pierre raised a brow and James threw a piece of potato at him. 

“If you ever do get the guts to ask her out, call us. We’ve made bets on this,” Carlo added. 

“Real comforting, guys,” James ate a bite of the roast. “I thought this was supposed to be my pity party.” 

“Not anymore,” Jian shook his head. “You’ve got heart-eyes.” 

This time around, James thought maybe he didn’t mind the nickname as much as he used to. 

—

“I would think they’d get you your own office at this point,” James commented as he entered his office, seeing you sitting at his desk, eating a pre-packed lunch. 

“Beats me,” you shrugged and continued to eat. 

“So you’ve decided that invading my office is your next best bet?” 

“Oh hush,” you waved him off with your fork. 

“Well, excuse me for wanting to come to a safe place after being verbally assaulted by House’s patient,” he sat on the opposite side of the desk and leaned back in the chair. 

“Verbally assaulted?” you asked. “By a patient who isn’t even your own?” 

“He doesn’t like the way I speak French,” James rolled his eyes. “I’m translating while they’re treating him since the department used all its money hiring you.” 

“What can I say, hotshots cost a lot of money.” 

“You know, you could do the translation, probably much better than I can,” he noted. 

“I could, but you probably need the practice more than I do, chèri,” you scrunched your nose in a cute mocking way and James could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks yet again. “You still keeping up with that posse of yours?” you asked, changing the subject. 

“Yeah, they all flew in to visit a few days ago, we’re gonna go out tonight,” he said. “Do you…maybe want to join us?” he suggested. 

“I don’t have plans, as long as they’re okay with it I’d love to come,” you smiled. 

“Oh trust me, they will definitely be okay with it.” 

—

Later that night, James was drinking deeply from his glass while he watched his friends stare blankly ahead at you. If he looked anything like they did all those times his words were caught in his throat, then he hoped to spontaneously combust right then and there. 

“Heart-eyes, I thought you said they were okay with me coming?” you leaned over and whispered to him. 

James put down his glass and nodded his head. 

“They are okay with it, right?” 

Snapping out of their daze, the three men nodded their heads and finally began professing assurances that everything was fine. 

“It’s just… you said James invited you?” Jian asked with furrowed bows. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “He mentioned you guys were in town and getting together tonight and asked me if I wanted to join.” 

James bit down on his tongue trying not to say anything, but also gave his friends a look to shut up before they gave anything away. He knew what was running through their minds, they were wondering how the hell he’d gotten the guts to ask you to come, but there was one fundamental difference between tonight and any other time he could have possibly asked you. This wasn’t a date, therefore, there was no pressure. 

“Maybe you could tell them what you’ve been up to since they last saw you?” James suggested. 

“Oh, um, well, I got my master’s degree and doctorate at McGill, both for research in cancer biology-,” 

“Cancer biology?” Pierre interrupted. “I don’t remember you mentioning you were interested in that.” 

“I-I wasn’t initially,” you admitted. “Just after spending more time in the LSRC and a few other irrelevant things I decided it was the best fit for me to focus on.” 

“You and heart-eyes make a pretty good pair then,” Carlo raised his eyebrows suggestively and took a sip of his drink. 

“I guess we do,” you chuckled. “As long as he leaves the research to me. We all know what he’s like in the lab.” 

“I resent that,” James protested only before saying, “but I do deserve it.” 

“It’s a miracle he hasn’t had a medical malpractice suit,” Pierre added. 

You asked the boys about where their various careers had taken them and how they were each doing. The conversation stayed pretty normal until the topic changed to relationships, starting with Jian’s wife and family back in Vancouver and Pierre’s husband who was currently in Australia doing research on some massive insect. 

“What about you Carlo?” you asked. “Anyone special in your life?” 

“Nah,” he waved his hand. 

“What about the mom of the kid who pet sits for you?” Jian asked. 

“That kid charges me per animal, per size. If I were to date his mom he’d probably charge me for dating her too, and I don’t think I can afford his price,” he shook his head and the table laughed. 

“James, you’ve been quiet,” you said. “Nothing to share?” 

James nervously took a sip of his drink and looked over at his friends for help. 

“James hasn’t had the best luck in love,” Pierre settled on. 

“Oh, haven’t found anybody, that’s not a big deal,” you assured him. “I haven’t either.” 

“Well,” Carlo said in a high-pitched voice. “It’s not exactly that he hasn’t found anybody.” 

“So there’s someone-?” 

“I’m divorced,” James blurted. “Three times. Or soon to be three anyway.” 

“Oh,” you paused and tried to think of the right thing to say, but for the moment settled on nothing while Pierre changed the subject. 

After the visit was over, James offered to walk you to your car and you accepted. The walk started off in silence, but you decided to break it. 

“You know, I hope you find the right person eventually,” you said. “It’s unfortunate things didn’t work out three times.” 

“Yeah,” James nodded in agreement. “I-um, do you ever think about that conversation we had, in the McDonald’s by my apartment?” 

“Sometimes I do,” you admitted. 

“Looking back on that, I wonder if we ever really loved each other. If we did this probably wouldn’t have happened. We would have fixed things, worked on ourselves instead of just…giving up.” 

“So I guess you still haven’t fallen in love yet?” you asked, but he stayed silent. “Whoever it is, I’m sure things will find a way to work out for you.”

“The moment may have passed on that,” he said with his hands shoved in his pockets and looking down at the ground. 

“You never know, James. Sometimes life has a funny way of surprising you.” 

—

James watched as his colleagues and a few of the students from the university left the lecture hall while he continued to sit in his seat, watching you walk up towards him. 

“Don’t you have patients or something?” you asked. “You’re at all of my lectures.” 

“Doesn’t it seem appropriate for an oncologist to attend a cancer biology lecture?” he asked as you sat down next to him. 

“I suppose so,” you sighed. “Doesn’t explain why you weren’t taking notes though.” 

James looked down at his empty hands and cursed a little internally. 

“It’s okay,” you assured him. “I don’t mind the staring, it reminds me of school.” 

“You noticed?” he asked. 

“You weren’t very subtle,” you chuckled. 

“Yeah, not one of my strong suits,” he blushed, embarrassed. 

“Do you wanna go grab lunch before your break is over?” you asked and James nodded, standing up and offering you a hand to get out of your seat. 

You went to the cafeteria, running into his friend House who managed to get his food paid for by James, yet again, before leaving to go back up to his office and work on another differential diagnosis with his employees. 

“Did all the guys get back home safe after their trip?” you asked, digging into your food. 

“Carlo and Jian are back home, Pierre went to go be with Ollie in Australia.”

“It must be hard not living near them.” 

James sighed and nodded his head. “It’s a balance. When they’re being annoying, it’s great that they don’t live here and when they’re not, it sucks.” 

“Spoken like a true friend,” you chuckled. 

“What about you? Do you still keep in touch with people from school? During any of your degrees?” 

“Not really,” you shook your head. “After my undergrad I became so laser focused on my school I didn’t pay attention to relationships that much outside of my family. Starting to regret it a bit now.” 

“Kind of hard to have a good conversation with cancer cells,” James said sarcastically and you shook your head. “Do you like it in New Jersey so far?” 

“Not as much as back home,” you admitted, “but it is nice to have a friend here.”

“Yeah, Jersey is…an acquired taste,” he settled on, making you laugh, but your laughter was cut off by the sound of his pager, and he looked down to see what the message was before quickly standing up. “Sorry, I have to-,” 

“Don’t worry,” you assured him. “I’ll pack up your food and bring it to your office.” 

“Thanks,” he nodded and you waved goodbye as he ran off out of the cafeteria and to the oncology floor to go help one of his patients. 

—

James didn’t find himself walking around the campus often, but when he did it was usually because he had to clear his head. With everything that was going on in his life, in addition to the circumstances of this case, he was taking it harder than normal. 

He had left his coat in his office as the hot New Jersey sun was already beating down, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes following his feet as he took his steps forward. 

He didn’t notice you sitting on a bench as he was passing by. Curious as to his state, you stood up and went to meet up with him. 

“Hey James, are you okay?” 

Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts almost instantly. He stopped to look up at you, seeing the concern reflecting in your eyes. 

He took his hands out of his pockets and motioned for you to walk with him. 

“I lost a patient today,” he explained. “He was 11.” 

“Oh, James, I’m so sorry,” you said softly. 

“In med school you learn pretty quickly if you don’t find a way to deal with what you face every day the result is never good,” he said and you noticed him chewing on the inside of his cheek, “but it was just too sunny outside. How could it be sunny on a day like this?” 

You didn’t say anything initially, only intertwining your hand with his and giving it a light squeeze which he returned. 

“You know, I think it’s probably okay, every once in a while, to let yourself mourn your patients. Just like everyone else. You have a uniquely difficult job, James, and no one would hold it against you if you need a minute to adjust.” 

James stopped walking and you followed his lead, only to have him let go of your hand and pull you into a tight hug. You easily wrapped your arms around his neck while his arms were around your waist. 

“You’re a good doctor, James,” you mumbled. “I know, even if you don’t quite believe it right now, you did everything you could to help that young boy and make him more comfortable.” 

You could feel him nod his head, clearly not trusting himself to say anything at the moment. 

Neither of you wanted to let go, but you knew that you both had work to get back to. James had other patients he was responsible for and you had some work to do in one of the hospital labs. 

So silently, hand in hand, you accompanied each other back to the hospital, grateful for each other’s company. 

—

“I swear, if I stay there any longer I’m going to go mad,” James whispered to you under his breath as you walked along the halls of the hospital with him to help him run some tests for a few patients. 

“What was it this time?” you asked, huddling in closer, waiting for him to spill the beans on why living with his best friend was becoming unbearable. 

“He keeps pranking me,” he began to explain and you could see how frustrated he was just by his hand movements. “Last night he thought of the genius idea to put my hand in warm water while I was sleeping and-,” James stopped himself, realizing he’d divulged too much, just as your eyes went wide. 

“Oh my God you didn’t wet the bed did you?” you asked in a chuckle and James quickly covered your mouth saying, 

“Shh! The whole hospital doesn’t need to hear you!” 

You couldn’t hold in your laugh, muffled by James’ hand over your mouth and his cheeks were a bright cherry red. 

Eventually you pulled his hand away and said, 

“You definitely need to get out of there. That’s criminal.” 

“Exactly what I’m saying,” James agreed. 

“Hey, why don’t you come over to my place tonight?” you suggested. “We can watch a movie or something together.” 

“That sounds like exactly what I need right now,” he nodded his head. “What time?” 

“Come over at eight, it’ll give me some time to get snacks and get ready.” 

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” he held out his hand and you took it shaking it firmly. 

Later that evening while James was getting ready, House watched him curiously. 

“I still don’t believe that you blowdry your hair,” he said loudly over the sound of the appliance. 

“Believe it or not, I do,” James responded. 

“It just seems so pointless, your hair is messy anyways,” he crossed his arms and James gave him a look. 

“My hair looks fine, yours on the other hand could use a trim and about a billion other things,” James retorted.

“So, is this a date?” House asked, changing the topic. 

“No, it’s not a date,” James shook his head. “It’s an opportunity for me to get away from your insanity.” 

“Are you sure it’s not a date?” he asked. 

“What makes you think it's a date?” he finally gave in and turned around to face his friend, turning off the blow dryer. 

“Well if you asked her if you could come over, probably not a date, but if she offered…” he shrugged his shoulders. 

James shook his head, he didn’t want to allow himself to believe it was true, because if it was, he’d probably overthink things and make a fool of himself. 

“It’s not a date,” he reiterated and House stopped pressing, seeing as his friend would not be reasoned with. 

James finished fixing his hair and grabbed his keys and a coat before stepping out of the door. 

It didn’t take him long to drive to your house and when he knocked at the door he heard shuffling inside before the lock clicked and you opened it. 

“Hey! You got the dress code memo,” you joked, pointing to his McGill sweater and then back at yours. 

“I thought you might like a blast from the past,” he smiled and you invited him inside. 

As he entered he noticed the array of pillows on the couch, blankets draped over arm chairs, and books piled on every surface possible. To top it off, the house was currently only lit by lamps allowing a warm orange hue to fall over the space. It made James’ shoulders relax and he could even feel his nervous heart rate slow. 

“Do you like it?” you asked. “I am by no means an interior decorator, but I tried to make it feel cozy so it’s nice to come back to after long days at work.” 

“I do like it,” James nodded. “A lot. It feels like a home.” 

“Perfect, that’s exactly what I was going for,” you smiled. “You’re the first guest I’ve had here, you know?” 

“Really? No fancy dinner parties with the hospital board?” 

“No, not yet,” you chuckled. “Unfortunately, this guy in the oncology department keeps taking up all my time.”

You grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the couch. 

“But don’t worry, I don’t mind.” 

After he took off his coat, you both sat down next to each other, James extending his hand along the back of the couch and you naturally sat right up next to him, leaning forward to grab the remote and turn on the movie. 

“What did you pick?” James asked. 

“Just some random horror movie,” you said. “I heard it’s really cheesy.” 

“We’ll see about that,” James raised his brows and grabbed the popcorn from the table, putting it in between you both. 

You pressed play once you were both settled and tossed the remote to the side of the couch, curling your legs up and waiting in anticipation for the movie to begin.

It didn’t take long for the horror plot to begin, jumping right into the satanic murders and supernatural deaths. Just as you had predicted, it was cheesy, but that didn’t stop you from being startled whenever something popped up unexpectedly on the screen. 

Both of you were lulled into a false sense of security during what seemed like a quiet part of the movie, then, all of a sudden, the killer jumped into the frame with a loud change in the soundtrack, causing you to shriek and move towards James, also feeling him jump slightly from being startled. 

You both looked up at each other and laughed at the ridiculousness of your collective fright. 

“You’re supposed to be the calm one,” you elbowed him. 

“I know it just-Jesus!” James found himself inadvertently closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around you as if it would give him some protection from what was on the screen. 

You laughed again and leaned closer into his side, patting his leg to assure him it was safe to open his eyes again. 

“You must enjoy torturing me, that’s the only explanation for this,” James looked over at you and you shook your head. 

“Come on, heart-eyes, you think that lowly of me?” 

James couldn’t stop the smile that creeped past his lips, “No, of course not.” 

“Good, that means I still have the upper hand,” you moved your head to look back at the TV, but not before James tickled you in retaliation for your words. 

It took a moment, but you eventually surrendered and moved your focus back to the movie, still feeling a little warm from your laughter. 

You grabbed some of the other candies and snacks from the table, holding a gummy bear up for James to try and he did without so much as a second thought. 

“Still have a sweet tooth I see,” you offered him a different candy which he ate again and nodded. 

“You don’t want to know how many cavities I’ve had.” 

“Here,” you handed him a wrapped treat. “This one’s special from home.” 

“Maple candies,” he smiled. “They don’t make ‘em like they do in Montreal.” 

“They were your favourite, right?” you asked. 

James looked over at you again curiously, “You remembered that?” 

“Of course I did,” you shrugged. “Oh wait, look,” you pointed to the TV before grimacing and covering your eyes, but still peeking through your fingers. “Ew!” 

James just smiled at you, finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to kiss you, the thought bringing a warm sensation to his stomach. 

He settled instead on doing what he’d been doing forever: staring at you with heart-eyes. 

—

James tried to fight a yawn as he grabbed one of the many books on the shelves in his office, taking it to his couch and sitting down next to you. 

“You don’t have to do this, James,” you told him. “You probably have to be back tomorrow morning, you should go home and rest.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” he insisted. “You look in here for that article I was telling you about and I’ll start proofreading.” 

There were many papers and files strewn around the couch, you couldn’t remember when you first came in, but James never seemed to mind when you worked in his office instead of your own. 

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I feel like I brought a tornado in here.” 

James looked up from your paper and nodded his head. 

“Now hush and let me read.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” you chuckled, opening the medical journal he had handed you, flipping through the contents until you found the article title he had mentioned. 

James had a pen in his hand, scribbling down annotations on the side, correcting a few typos and grammatical errors. 

For the most part, he was able to follow along, but at one point, the words became so incoherent he tapped you to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. 

“What does this say here?” he asked. “I-I don’t know if my eyes just stopped working, but what does stirring in sugar and eggs have to do with this trial treatment?” 

“Oh my God,” you grabbed the paper and looked at it closer. “I must have accidentally copied some of my mom’s cookie recipe on here before changing documents. What in the world is going on with me?” 

Maybe it was the exhaustion settling in or some other things James couldn’t quite pinpoint, but he felt himself letting out a chuckle that grew a little longer, and longer until it was a full blown laugh. 

It was an honest mistake, and arguably not that funny, but you’d be hard pressed to convince him of that in that moment, and instead, seeing the silliness of the situation, you joined in.

Eventually, when the laughter died down, you and James both leaning far back against the couch, he turned to you and apologized. 

“I’m sorry, I should probably read this when I have a bit more sanity.” 

“Don’t be,” you patted his leg. “I can always use a good laugh.” 

With your heads still turned to face each other, you suggested to pause the work and resume it another time, to which James agreed. 

You both continued to sit there in silence, looking over at each other and James caught a glimmer of something in your eyes and had to blink a few times to make sure it was still there. It was a soft look, a little dazed, like you were happily daydreaming about something far off. It took him a moment to realize it, since he had been the one giving that look, he’d never really had a chance to see it for himself. 

You had heart-eyes. 

And more importantly, you had them while you were looking at James. 

With a sudden boost of courage, fuelled by lowered inhibitions, he started by asking, 

“Have I ever told you why my friends call me heart-eyes?” 

You tilted your head a little, following his lead and sitting up straight. 

“Wasn’t it because of that girl you had a crush on that was from here?” 

James opened his mouth and then shut it, shaking his head. 

“There was never a girl from Jersey,” he admitted. 

“Why would they say it was a girl from Jersey if there was…” as you said the sentence you slowed down, the realization dawning on you. 

“All the staring makes a bit more sense now?” he asked. 

You blinked a few times, “I just thought you were really awkward,” you said. 

“I was, but if the staring didn’t give it away the blushing really should have done it,” he chuckled. 

“I thought you had a circulation issue!” you exclaimed and James burst out laughing, of course you did. “God, James, why didn’t you say anything?” 

James shook his head, “I could barely string out a coherent sentence when I was around you. Makes it a little hard to say anything.” 

“Makes me wish I had said something,” you said, feeling your own cheeks heat up at the admission. 

“Y-You would’ve said something?” 

Now it was James’ turn to be surprised. 

“I think most of the time it comes on gradually, maybe you won’t even know it at first. That’s what you said to me, but that eventually, if it was love, I’d know it.” 

You reached out and held James’ hands in your own. 

“I should have said something. I could have said something. We could have had so much more-,” 

“James,” you whispered, interrupting him and he stopped. “Shut up and kiss me.” 

James wasn’t going to waste another second, removing his hands from your to instead gently hold your face, bringing you closer to him so he could finally do what he had been dreaming about since he was 18 years old. 

The dim light of his desk lamp, the papers crumpled beneath and around you, the way you moved closer and slid into his lap, his hands now on your hips and your fingers snaking through his hair, it all melted into one and if you let yourselves imagine, just a bit, the lamp became a light in the library; the papers became unfinished homework assignments and lab write-ups, and you hadn’t missed a second of the time you could have spent together. 

Your kisses soon turned slow and repetitive and neither of you wanted to pull away, living in the moment like it was your last. 

“When…did you realize…you loved me?” you asked between kisses, moving away from his mouth, instead letting your lips find their way across his jaw and up to his temple. 

“Our last year of school,” he paused your kisses so he could kiss you properly again. “Carlo said something and-,” he shook his head and sighed. “I realized I was going to leave without you ever knowing how I felt and even though eventually I thought maybe I’d stopped loving you and started to love other people…I just kept trying to fill that space that only you fit in.” 

“First year of my master’s for me,” you rested your forehead against his. “Suddenly you weren’t there anymore and I really wished that wasn’t the case.” 

He tilted his head up to meet you in another kiss that was far too easy to melt into. Neither of you had any complaints and you knew you’d never get tired looking into his heart-eyes.

@cuntyvicodin

[winterchimez]

Nonsense | Jacob Bae

SUMMARY: never would you have thought that joining the music club is where you would develop an abnormal crush on your senior/club president Jacob Bae. so when the university's annual school performance is around the corner, you have decided to give a shot to confess your feelings in the most extravagant way possible.

PAIRING: senior!Jacob x junior g.n!reader

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: pg-13, kissing, yall this is just pure tooth-rotting fluff

WORD COUNT: 4,473

A/N: we're back with another fic for the emails i can't send fwd: collab that i'm doing with @heemingyu 😉 shoutout to both sana & @sungbeam for beta reading & helping me out with this one!! love you both loads 💕 also, lowkey this was written for you @zzoguri aka cobster's future, i hope you'll enjoy this (and may this somehow be a little something for you during your hectic times ily my moni forever!! ❤️)

It was finally the summer holidays, and you were ecstatic as you heard the sound of a vehicle driving right onto your front porch. You had been waiting for this moment since you got the news during the new year and counting down the days on your calendar without fail every day.

Once you heard the engine stop, you immediately ran out to the door to jump right into the person’s arms which were already opened wide, fully expecting your demeanour. 

“Yujin! I’ve been waiting months for you!” You shrieked as you hugged your cousin tight, rubbing your cheek against hers. 

Both you and Yujin were raised together by your grandmother back in Vancouver, and things took a turn when your parents eventually got a promotion up in Toronto, causing you to move far away from your family. Because of that, you don’t get to see each other often anymore, the most being once every 2 years when your parents will try their best to make time to attend the Christmas parties held annually at your grandmother’s house. 

Yujin was like your long-lost sibling; even though you were cousins, you both felt there was more to that. Ever since you both have gotten your very own mobile phones, you both promised that you would FaceTime each other almost every other day. You knew everything about one another—from each other’s darkest secrets to how much money you stole from your parents' wallets when you were younger to buy that vinyl you have been eyeing for the longest time. 

But lately, things have been a bit too chaotic for you both to keep up the promised ritual. Since you both started university, it was hard to make plans, especially when studying in different courses, which also meant different timetables and classes. During the weekends, the both of you would often be occupied with either school events or at your local pizzeria as your part-time job. Hence, texting was the primary source of communication between you two.

And besides that, something crucial had happened to you lately, and you couldn’t wait to spill the beans to your cousin. 

Once you had helped Yujin unload her stuff from the car and moved it up to your room, you quickly made yourselves feel comfortable by cuddling together on your sofa bed. 

“So, tell me. How has life been for you?” you asked, blinking your eyes, trying to give her a pleading face because you wanted to know about everything that had happened lately. 

“I’ve been promoted to being part of the student council at my university! Oh, and then there’s also me actually acing an exam that I clearly did not study for because I was up all night that past few weeks playing Genshin Impact. Oh, and then there was this adorable guy from my campus who I think kind of has a crush on me because he always glances in my direction, like you know? That stare? And then—” 

“Woah woah, slow down, tiger,” you had to pause your cousin because clearly, she was dumping all of the information without giving you time to process them individually. With that, the both of you chuckled, hands placed onto your stomach as you began to laugh a little bit too hard until it started to hurt. 

This was what you had missed so dearly, and you couldn’t help but put on this genuine warm, soft smile on your face as you looked into Yujin’s eyes. 

That was until she squinted at you. 

“Whatever you’re doing right now is creeping me out real bad, so I suggest you stop that.” 

You slapped her arm. “Rude.” 

“Fine. What about you then? I’m sure your time at the University of Toronto has been a wild ride for you.” 

“About that…I have something I need to consult you for,” you lowered your head and voice to a minimum, which got your cousin's ears perked up and was prodding your arms, wanting to know the details. 

“Oh my god, did you just finally have your first kiss?”

“W-what? No! I mean, at least not yet….” 

“What do you mean not yet? So do you have a special someone in your life right now?”

With a deep sigh, you took one of the pillows lying on the floor and threw it in Yujin’s direction, causing her to hug the pillow tight as she laid her head down gently to rest on it. 

“Buckle up, babe. It’s going to be a long story.” 

Flashback

“God, why do I have to sign up for this?” 

You stomped your feet to the ground as you looked at the paper, which read: “Applications for extra-curricular activities such as clubs are mandatory for all students, commencing on April 2023.” 

Your university had been pretty lenient over the years, and they had never once forced students to participate in clubs if they chose not to, understanding that some of them had make-up classes for their courses or were just busy with their thesis and side jobs. Most of the students in the university themselves took on part-time jobs, such as working in the school’s cafeteria and library, to earn a little bit of pocket money to survive.

So, when they decided to change the rules after the previous headmaster resigned and was replaced by a new one that everyone did not like, she chose that both coursework and extracurricular activities played a crucial role in one’s graduation. 

Left with no choice, you stood before the bulletin board, trying to find a club that suited your taste. 

“Screw Mrs. Kim.” You huffed. 

“Look, Y/N. It can’t be too bad. It’s just a club. After all, nobody said you have to be super committed to it,” Your friend Keeho sighed, looking at how you beat yourself up over such trivial matters. 

“You don’t understand, Keeho. This means I will have less time at home because I will have to leave to work my shifts at the pizzeria right after clubs. What is going to happen to my games and k-dramas?” You whined. 

“If you want to graduate from university, you’re going to have to choose one now.” Knocking some sense into you, he gave you a pat on your shoulder before walking away towards the opposite direction, heading to his club.

You turned to look back at the bulletin board once again, scanning through all of the posters and flyers that were scattered throughout. After a minute or two, your eyes finally landed on this one cream-coloured flyer, and you sighed before checking the location once more before heading to your destination. 

“This is the only option that will work for now.”

“Hello?” You called out, but the room was empty as you opened and peeked your head through the door. Thinking that you should try again, you entered the room and looked around. 

There was nothing here but a ray of sunshine shining through the glass window into the empty room, and the sunlight landed directly on the lone black piano at the corners of the room.

Maybe playing it for a while wouldn’t hurt at all.

You slowly approached the piano and opened it up as you made yourself comfortable, sat down, and got into the rightful position, gently laying your hands on the keys. Immediately, you started playing one of your favourite pieces of all time, Summer by Joe Hisaishi. Unbeknownst to you, your body began swaying along with the music, enjoying the moment you were in. 

That was until a clap made you stop your tracks.

“Wow, that was some excellent playing right there.” The male gave you a round of applause as he slowly approached you, causing you to jump right up, looking all flustered. 

“I-Umm—I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to play the instrument without approval—” 

“Oh no, no! The piano is free for anyone who wants to play, so you’re all good,” he reassured you, causing you to calm your fast breathing down by placing a hand on your fast-rising chest. 

As he finally reached where you were standing, he posed a question directly at you. “Is there anything that I could help you with?” 

It was there, and then you took in his facial features as the sunlight shone from his face. His soft fluffy brunette hair, those doe-like eyes, and how mesmerising it was as he smiled. Adding onto the fact that he keeps smiling in the best way possible, your heart starts to flutter. 

“Umm, hello?” He was now waving his hands over your face. 

Oh, right. You were supposed to sign up for a club. What on earth were you thinking, Y/N?

“Y-yes! I’m here actually to umm…sign up for the club,” you said reluctantly, a little bit too shy with your answer. 

That was when the male’s eyes widened, and he did a little jump to indicate how happy he was to hear that from you, and he quickly extended out his hands to you, giving you a handshake.

“But of course! We are always open to new members joining the music club! Oh, pardon me, where were my manners? You can call me Jacob.”  

“Y-Y/N.” You replied.

It has been around two weeks since you joined the music club, and everything has been going smoothly for you. Thanks to Jacob (who turned out to be the club’s president), he has helped you so much in trying to get you to blend into the crowd and with other musicians, creating a very safe and warm atmosphere for everyone. 

It was also then that you noticed what kind of a person he was. He was very gentle, yet suitable to be a leader. The tone of his voice and the way he handled things fairly and reasonably made everyone respect him and want to perform alongside him. 

From what you have heard from the club members, Jacob would lead the team to busk at the city centre once every two to three weeks, which was where they would earn some money that served as their reward as they went out to celebrate once in a while at the local party scenes such as the bars. 

Thanks to his guidance, the university’s music club eventually garnered enough audience from the school and the public to the point that they have been invited to perform multiple times throughout the year. You have heard that even local communities such as the orphanage and childcare facilities would often ask Jacob and his team to function for the underprivileged ones, and they would gladly volunteer, even if it were for free. 

There were a few times when you stayed behind to help Jacob close up the music room (more like you were trying your best to spend much time with him as much as you could), and it was when you decided to ask him about his thoughts and the way he did things around here. 

“Music just means so much to me, and I would gladly perform every day even if I had to. It’s not about the money; it can be great as a little side income, but what matters most is that I do this because I am passionate about it,” he replied, clearly stating his goals and reasons well. 

Ever since that conversation, you notice more in detail how he did things or even when he performed. Just as he said, he was passionate—it didn’t matter if things were hindering his way, he would still make way for it. 

No matter how burnt out he could be from his coursework or side job, he would always place the music club first, making sure that not only he enjoyed the whole process but also the club members as well. 

Slowly, you began to admire him for not just his good looks but also his personality. It was as if he was this fine perfect gentleman that had just entered your life easily, and you couldn’t stop thinking about him each day. 

It was the way he was always smiling with others, the way he would sometimes sit at the piano and play a duet with you, the way you both were guitarists, so one of you would either offer a fun little duet session after club hours, even up till writing song lyrics together. 

And how there was one time he unintentionally got his arms around your waist when you slipped from the wet, freshly-cleaned wooden floor from the club, and he caught you in time. 

That was something that you have thought about all the time ever since it happened. 

As the weeks progressed to months, the little spark in your heart for him eventually grew, and it just kept getting bigger each time you saw him in the same club room. 

And that was when you knew you were in big trouble.

End of flashback 

“Damn, you're whipped,” Yujin concluded after listening to your story. 

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you this, Yujin. I’m so screwed.” You buried your head in your palms, the slight headache becoming more prominent now. 

“Hey, what’s wrong with liking a senior? I’d say it’s your time to shine and confess to him.” She reassured you by gently rubbing your back before you slowly lifted your face up. 

“That’s because I think I might be in too deep,” you mumbled. 

“And how exactly did you come up with that conclusion?” 

“Do you ever start stammering and slur your speech when they get close to you like they’ve not done anything, but somehow you just can’t converse like a proper human being.”

“Oh.” 

“When they literally tell you how they absolutely love your eyes and loved making them roll?”

“Okay. Go on.”

“And that you actually finally got their contact number and literally named them ‘do not leave me alone’?”

“Hold up, let me see.”

Reluctantly, you fished out for your phone in your back pocket and scrolled through your contact list until you found Jacob’s. As you click into it, you nervously hand your phone to your cousin, praying internally that she will not drop another diss to make you feel worse than you already are. 

Do not leave me alone ❤️‍🩹. That was exactly what was written for the club president’s contact name on your phone. 

“Damn, Y/N. I never would have thought you would be so delusional. I’d like to think that you’re far worse than I am,” Yujin declared, turning your face into a bright red tomato again. 

“I know, Yujin! And I have never felt this way before. That’s why I needed your validation.” You were practically doing somersaults mentally right now, wishing that you could take it all back, but at the same time, you needed to let out your inner feelings too.  

As Yujin handed your phone back to you, she raised an eyebrow before posing you a question. “So, what exactly do you intend to do from here on?” 

“There’s this upcoming music festival at my university this weekend, and I will be performing on stage.” 

“Oh, that’s great—”

“And I’m going to perform a song I wrote specifically about him,” you blurted out. 

That made Yujin shut her mouth as she tried to process what she had just heard. “Wow, Y/N. You are literally going all out on this.” 

“I just need a way to get this off my shoulders somehow, Yujin. And it’s now or never,” you said. 

“Will he realise that you are trying to serenade him, though?” Yujin asked as she placed her hand on your shoulder. 

“Success or not, I will still do it. And then I’ll completely forget that I’ve ever written this song ever again.”

It was finally Friday night, and the auditorium hall was filled with students, lecturers, and outsiders. Peeking from the backstage, there was this nervousness in the pit of your stomach, and you were now trying your best to rethink your actions. 

What exactly had made you even decide to sign up for the concert in the first place had remained a mystery for you, and looking back now, you swore you would’ve thrown a cold bucket of water over you to wake you up from your insanity. 

But it was too late to turn back now, as it would be your turn on stage in a few minutes. After the previous performer finished his chosen song, the MC briefly introduced you and your contributions to the music club before finally inviting you onstage. 

As you entered with the white guitar you had gotten for Christmas a few years prior, you tried your best to search for Yujin amongst the crowd—sure enough, she was sitting right at the side, waving her hands enthusiastically to cheer you on. You couldn’t help but flash a smile back. 

And finally, you decided to find the man of your dreams, and he was sitting right in the middle section along with the other club members. He gave you a clap just like the rest of the audience did and mouthed out a few words that you couldn’t grasp. Perhaps he was just saying “all the best,” as one would as they support their fellow members.

When you finally reached where the microphone stood, you adjusted yourself before positioning your fingers along the instrument's strings and introducing the piece you were about to perform. 

“This song was written by a special someone in the crowd tonight, and whoever that it may be, I hope this song speaks to your heart and that you mean a lot to me. Without further ado, enjoy.” 

With a few strums from the guitar, you gathered enough courage to smile before singing into the microphone. 

I’ll be honest.  Looking at you got me thinking nonsense. Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in And when you got your arms around me Oh, it feels so good 

Instantly, you noticed several people from the crowd starting vibing along with your song as they naturally swayed their bodies from left to right, enjoying the melody and rhythm your song produced. 

I had to jump the octave I think I got an ex, but I forgot him And I can’t find my chill, I must’ve lost it I don’t even know, I’m talkin’ nonsense  I’m talkin’, I’m talkin’ 

When you peeked from the corner of your eye, you noticed how Yujiin practically stood up, clapping her hands along with the rhythm. Naturally, the people around her joined in, as did the crowd from the middle and far left section. 

God, were you so grateful for that, so much so that you were trying to hold back your tears. 

I’m talkin’ all around the clock I’m talkin’ hope nobody knocks I’m talkin’ opposite of soft  I’m talkin’ wild, wild thoughts You gotta keep up with me I got some young energy I caught the L-O-V-E How could you do this to me?

I’ll be honest.  Looking at you got me thinking nonsense.

With one final strum, you ended the performance with a bang, and you got the crowd to give you one of the loudest cheers you have heard throughout the night. Some have even given you a standing ovation, and you swore that tears were about to form in your eyes. 

You quickly redirected your attention to Jacob, and he did the same, standing up while giving you that sweet honey smile that you’ve grown to be obsessed with, clapping along with the rest of the audience. 

Thank you for existing, Jacob Bae. I hope you can hear my thoughts through this song written specifically for you. 

With a final bow, you quickly exited the stage.

You were sitting on a bench at a park near campus, opening the bottle of sparkling water you had gotten from one of the nearby vending machines.

You met up with Yujin right after the show and told her how you wanted some time alone just to wind down and digest everything that had happened. You reassured her that you wouldn’t be gone too long and would return as soon as possible. Thankfully, your cousin understood the message and agreed so long as you did not venture far away nor leave her alone too long exploring your campus. 

With a sip of the water, you couldn’t help but smile as you looked up into the skies filled with stars on a clear night like today. The secret was finally out, and a burden was lifted from your shoulders, so you could just sit back on the bench and relax a little bit. 

That was until a voice brought you back to reality.

“Mind if I join you?”

You jolted up from the bench to see the man you were trying to serenade, and immediately you felt the heat rise towards your cheek, and you began stammering again. 

“Y-yes, o-of course!! Umm..g-go ahead!!”

As he sat next to you, you naturally shifted slightly away from him and ducked your head down as you began to rub your palms around the water bottle you were holding back and forth. Jacob noticed your demeanour, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he saw the redness of your face becoming more prominent.

Because he had always known how you have been having a crush on him.

To break the ice, he devised a simple conversation to help you loosen up a bit and break off the tension. 

“I really like your guitar, Y/N. It’s just the right shade of white, and seeing it reminds me of elegance and simplicity but in an attractive way.” 

“U-uh, thanks! It was gifted to me as a present—”

“Just like you, Y/N.” 

Wait, what?

Did you just hear that right? Or is your mind playing tricks with you? Maybe the after-effects of adrenaline from the performance got you thinking nonsense. But you had to make sure. 

“I umm…I beg your pardon?”

“I said what I said, Y/N. I know you have a crush on me.”

Oh no.

“How I make you feel all giddy and excited every time I talk to you.”

Oh, hell no. 

“And I’m going to guess that the song you just performed was directed towards me.”

Lord Jesus, take the wheel. 

At this point, you felt as if you were receiving dozens of arrows shooting right into your heart one at a time, and you were just about to pass out. What you thought was a simple crush became way too apparent to the point that your love interest has already known since day one. 

This is the most embarrassing shit ever. 

You quickly recollected yourself by sitting up straight and clearing your throat before responding properly. 

“Ha-ha, I guess I-I was too obvious!! I-I’m sorry if I might’ve made you un-uncomfortable in any way—”

That was when Jacob interrupted you. “What makes you think I was uncomfortable by all of this?”

Jacon now inches a few spots closer to where you were, and your butt was glued shut on the bench because if you were to move any further, you would end up falling straight onto the grass. 

Oh, good lord. 

“I’m actually grateful for you, Y/N. I think it’s the first time anyone has ever felt that way about me,” he smiled. 

That was when you blinked your eyes. “W-what, really? How can people not fall in love with you—” You clasped your hands over your mouth as soon as you said the “L” word. 

He chuckled. “I don’t know. People have always seemed to view me as a good friend but not a potential love interest. I haven’t had one since a long time ago, and that made me rethink if I could ever date again.”

Gently he laid his hands onto yours that were situated on the bench as he turned his full attention to you now. 

“And funny enough, I’m pretty sure I have feelings for you too. The moment I saw you playing Summer on the piano that first day we met, I knew there was something different about you. And I am so glad that eventually we got close to one another.”

After that, Jacob finally took in a deep breath before turning his direction back to you, which made you gulped for a second. “I think it wouldn’t be fair for me to not give you a proper response to your confession to me, no?” 

Oh, god. It’s here. “S-so…what are your thoughts, Jacob? Was the song okay?”

“Y/N. It was far beyond just okay. It was a masterpiece, and I loved how quirky you are with the lyrics. It was something else, but it suited my taste.” 

As he finally intertwined his fingers with yours, he inched his face closer to yours until they were centimetres apart. 

“I accept the proposal, Y/N.” He smiled.

“Y-you…you do?” You asked weakly as if you were already not melting enough from the tension and heat. 

“Will you give me a chance, Y/N?” There was this glistening in his eyes, and he looked exactly like Puss in Boots from the animation that both you and Yujin loved watching when you were kids.

“If you’re ready to deal with me, of course,” you stammered. 

He gave you the biggest smile before pulling you into a warm embrace. “More than ready, Y/N.” 

As you sunk into his embrace and took in his scent, you rested your chin upon his shoulders and stayed just like that briefly before Jacob broke off the hug and gently grabbed both of your shoulders, his eyes now landing on your lips. 

“May I?” 

Without giving a proper answer, you immediately shut your eyes, indicating that it was a yes in your books. Jacob chuckled at that for a while before leaning in to give a peck on your lips. 

The sweet moment was then ruined by a ruffling noise coming from behind as both you and Jacob turned towards its direction. Sure enough, you found your cousin Yujin emerging from one of the trees with her phone in hand, recording the whole session. 

“Now, that is what I call a successful indirect confession!” She exclaimed. 

“Miss Ahn Yujin don’t you even dare—” you quickly threatened her before you took off running towards where she was, and she did the same but ran away from you instead. 

“You will be sleeping on the streets tonight!” You yelled.

“Try me, Y/N!” She replied. 

Jacob watched as the two of you began chasing each other around the park, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he laid back and propped one arm on the bench, just admiring everything about you. 

“Little did you know Y/N, that you also got me thinking nonsense about you all day every day.”

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[swissboyhisch]

Halloween Surprise

Pairing: Matthew Knies x Marner!Reader

Summary: The team's Halloween party seemed like the perfect time to reveal to everyone who you were dating.

Word Count: 2546

Warnings: Alcohol, blood, a little bit of 18+ content towards the end.

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Halloween. Your favourite holiday by far. Growing up, your parents decorated the house with tons of decorations and your mum always went all out with family costumes. When you moved to Toronto to live with your older brother and his girlfriend, you were always in charge of organising the Halloween parties or costumes. 

And nothing changed. As soon as it was announced it was Mitch’s turn to host the team’s Halloween party, he came straight to you. It was your job to organise everything but luckily, since Mitch will be busy with the start of the hockey season, Steph is more than happy to help you. It would give her something to do. And it means the two of you can spend more time together. 

First thing was to create a list of people who would get the invites. Then organise a time and place for the party. Mitch and Steph said they’re happy to have it at their place instead of hiring out a place. Due to game schedule conflict, the party was going to take place on the Friday before Halloween.

Once the who, what, when and where was decided, Steph and you designed the invites and sent those out as soon as possible. Next was the entertainment. You had a couple Halloween Playlists from previous parties you had hosted so you just said you would bring your audio system and set it up around the house and use Spotify. Food wise, Steph said that she was thinking the two of you make the food the couple days leading up to it. She loved to cook, and you loved to bake so it was the perfect pair. Drinks were just going to be bins with cans of alcohol and soft drink in them and pitchers of cocktails. Then it was just costumes for you guys and decorating the house and backyard.

“What are we going to dress as?” Asked Mitch as he joined the planning party of you and Steph on the couch. 

You just smirk, “You two are going to be a ken and barbie variant. It fits so perfectly.”

Steph let out a squeal of excitement. It really was perfect for them. “Oh my god, yes!”

“And Auston is going to be Alan. A permanent third wheel.”

“What are you going to do?”

“It’s a surprise,” You retorted to your brother. As a fashion major, you had an endless number of options. But one in particular was the number one choice. It wasn’t hard but it was a fun one. “You’ll see at the party.”

Then it was onto planning the couple’s costumes. For Steph, you were thinking of a cute pink satin dress that stopped mid high. Low cut but not as low as you could go. A pair of cute white heels and white accessories. Her hair is in waves with pink makeup and hints of silver. A white clutch to top it off.

Mitch, luckily, will go with whatever you choose. Which is going to be matching pink pants, a white button down not fully buttoned and a pink satin scarf in the pocket. That will be made from the same fabric as the dress. His hair will be styled and maybe you can convince him to have a little makeup on.

Auston was a little harder, but he was going to be dressed in blue pants that are the same as Mitch’s and shirt striped like Alan’s sweater in the movie. A permanent third wheel who you question their involvement in a relationship.

You lived in an apartment in the city, close to where you work. Since Mitch and Steph got married, well a bit before that, you managed to find an apartment and skedaddle out of there. So, you found yourself the night before the party organising your bag full of your costume to take over to Mitch’s place early in the morning. It was late but it had to be done now and you had gone to the game against the Stars.

Your apartment's buzzer going off surprised you. No-one was expected. When you peaked at the camera footage, the familiar boy dressed in the same suit as earlier was standing there waving at the camera. You were quick to let him in and eagerly await his arrival. 

“Hey,” Matt greeted as you let him into your apartment. Pressing a kiss to your lips. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing? What are you doing here at this time of night?”

He shrugged off his suit jacket and hung it up on your coat rack, “Was on my way back to John’s from the arena and thought I’d stop in.”

“And does John know where you are?” You question. 

“Yes, I told him,” Matt whispers, his lips brushing against yours softly. His warm breath mixes with your own. “Don’t worry your pretty little head.”

You had to shower so despite Matt already showering at the arena he took up the opportunity to join in on your naked task. The two of you took a little longer than necessary but it was all in good fun. Now you were cuddled up in your bed with Coraline on the tv.

“Seriously?” Matt chuckles when he sees the movie title card. 

You just shrugged innocently, “it’s a favourite at this time of year.”

“This time of year?” He laughs harder knowing the truth behind that statement. “You mean any time of year.”

The next morning you were up early regardless of Matt’s whining when your alarm went off. The brunette tried to keep you in bed a little longer, but you wanted to get ready and head over to Mitch’s. The boys had a morning skate so you knew Matt would have to get up anyway. No sympathy from you.

“I’ll see you tonight. You have your costume right?” You mumble. 

Matt hums, pressing a reassuring kiss on your lips. “Yes, I have everything. I get dressed then just have to style my hair and splatter some blood from that bottle over my face and hands.”

“Perfect.” You pressed a kiss to his lips one final time and headed out the door. “Lock up on your way out!”

Steph and you had done most of the cooking and baking yesterday. The big decorations were already done as well, just the main decorations and little bits and pieces were to be put in place. 

The drive to your brother’s went quicker than you expected. But it was welcomed as you and Mitch crossed paths; him heading to practice and you arriving. He gave you a quick hug before you retreated into the house where Steph was eagerly waiting.

“Let’s get this started,” She says excitedly, pressing play on her phone.

Halloween themed songs started playing through the music system you guys had set up the previous day. You two finished off the food first giving it time to rest and cool. Then onto decorations. Starting with the inside, you decorated the entryway, then lounge room and dining room before finishing with the backyard.

“I think we are finished,” Steph states happily, looking over the pair of you’s hard work.

With a glance at your phone, it was 3pm. Perfect time to slowly start to get ready. “I’m gonna go have a shower and start getting ready.”

“Good idea.”

You went straight to your old room that had an ensuite and started to lay out your outfit. A pair of black booty shorts, a black lace corset bra, a blood splattered white button down and a pair of fishnets. That was the basis of your costume. Then a mask that was the same as Matt’s, both lighting up blue.

First things first, shower and prep first before starting on your hair. Then onto make-up, pretty simple, before getting into your costume. The last touch was blood splattering over your make-up. When you finished getting ready, you went downstairs to make a cocktail for Steph and yourself.

“Oo, what’s on the menu?” Steph questions as she comes downstairs in her costume.

“You look so good!” Steph did a twirl for you. “Ah, I picked the perfect costume.”

At the mention of that, Mitch came down solidifying the choice. He was the perfect Ken. Complimenting Steph’s barbie. When he came into the kitchen, he looked you over. Looking at your costume. “What are you?”

“From the purge,” You answer. You poured two cocktails into nice glasses and slid it over to Steph. “Cheers to another successful Halloween.”

“Cheers.”

When you took your first sip, the doorbell rang. Mitch went to greet whichever teammate had arrived first. And knowing the team, it’s either Mitch’s boyfriend (Auston) or the captain and his wife.

“What’s up little Marns?” Auston greets as he presses a kiss to your cheek. “I like the costume.”

“Thanks Aus.”

The group all enjoyed the music that was playing and the alcohol while waiting for others. Soon Will and his girlfriend arrived dressed as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo. Penny joined the other two girls drinking cocktails while the boys sat around outside chatting.

“So, are you still talking to that guy?” Steph asks.

Penny immediately turns on you. “Guy? What guy?”

“Uh,” You stutter. Steph was the only person to know you were talking to a guy. But she didn’t know who he was. “Yeah, I’m still talking to the guy.”

“Who is he?” 

You shrug and go to answer the door as an excuse to leave the conversation. The person knocked at the door again as you walked down the hallway. 

“You will tell us sooner or later,” Steph calls from the kitchen.

The door opened to reveal Matthew, dressed exactly how you envisioned. God, he looked so good. Even with the blood splattered all over him. The brunette lifted his mask and smiled down at you. Well, more like smirked. 

“Heya babe,” he muttered, making sure to peek over your shoulder before pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Hey, you look good!”

“So do you.”

You shut the door behind him and lead him through to the kitchen. As soon as Steph took in Matthew’s costume, she knew exactly who you were talking to. Her eyes lit up as she ran to hug the boy. It was the first team event for Steph to meet the rookie player.

“Hi, welcome to the team,” Steph rushes out excitedly. She looked over the pair of you and your matching costumes. “How are you liking Toronto?”

“I have a good guide,” He replies, sending a small smile to the girl beside him.

“Where’s the captain?” Mitch asks when he sees Knies. 

You waited for your brother’s reaction but it seemed like it wasn’t clicking. Oh well, it will make sense at some point in his golden retriever brain. 

Matt shrugs, “He and Aryne were waiting on the babysitter.”

“Ah, come join the boys out back,” Mitch suggests, already making his way outside again. 

Steph lets out a chuckle, “We’ll see if it clicks for him at some point.”

Matt just shrugged again and kissed you once more and made his way to join his teammates outside on the patio. When the backdoor shut, Steph and Penny both turned and gave you a look.

“The rookie? Really?”

“He’s cute,” You argue.

The pair both agree with a laugh and start to ask you a billion questions. When did you meet him? Where? What was your first date? At the arena before a preseason game. Then he took you out for a late-night meal at a diner.

Soon the house was full of team members and staff dressed in every type of costume you could imagine. Funny, scary, awesome, iconic. You name it, someone is dressed in it. Everyone was mingling and snacking on all the things you and Steph had made during the week. 

“Hey,” Matt greets as he comes up to you talking to Aryne. 

Aryne smiled at the two of you dressed up together. “I love the costumes.”

“That was all her,” The brunette grinned. He pressed a kiss to your temple but soon was interrupted by a yell.

“What?!” You turn to where Mitch was standing with William and Auston. “No way.”

Steph was quick to drag Mitch inside, with the other two of the trio following suit. Luckily not many people had seen the scene created. Knowing your brother, if you and Matt delayed the conversation any longer, he’d come and drag you too in as well. 

“Let’s get this over with,” You mutter, slipping your hand into Matt’s.

As soon as you stepped foot into the living room, Mitch only paid attention to the joint hands. “Oh no, no, no.” He speeds up to you two and separates you both. “Not for the life of me are you dating a hockey player.”

“Come on Mitch.”

He shook his head. “No. I told mum and dad I’d protect you when you moved out here with me.”

“Mitch, I’m not 18 anymore. I’m a big girl. I can date who I want without your permission.”

Knowing he wasn’t going to convince you, he turned on Matthew. He got up in the rookie’s face. “And you! I told you that my sister was off limits!”

Matt couldn’t get in a word before you stepped in and pushed your brother a step back. But he was quick to pull you into his side. 

“Mitch,” Steph murmured.

“I’m serious about her,” Matt spoke up. “She’s perfect. Smart, beautiful, talented. She’s not your sister, she’s just her own, amazing person.”

You teared up. That last point he said was an insecurity you had shared with him. People only want to be with you because of your brother. “Matty.”

“She’s my person,” Matt stated. Making sure to look your brother in the eyes to convey how serious he was. 

“Let them be Mitch,” Auston chuckles, “They like each other. If he hurts her we can beat him later.”

“Fine,” your brother huffed. 

You skipped up to him and hugged him. “Thanks Mitchy. Love you!”

Without another word, you intertwined your fingers with Matt’s and dragged him to your old room.

“Door stays open!” Mitch screams when he realises where you were going. 

You didn’t listen to your brother’s order though. Matt made sure to slam the door loud enough for your brother to hear it over the music. When the door was closed, Matt immediately pulled off your mask from the top of your head before kissing you hard. 

“God you look so good,” He groaned “And your ass in those shorts.”

After making sure the door was locked, you pushed Matt onto the bed. First piece of clothing to come off was the button down. Revealing the lacy corset for all to see. For Matt to see. 

“Damn baby.”

You giggle and dance along to the faint sound of ‘I Put A Spell On You’. Matt grabs your hips guiding you close and flipped the script, making you on the bed and leaned over you. His hand gripped onto your hip as he rubbed his hard dick against your pussy. You let out a quiet moan which only spurred the man on more.

“Yeah, I’m gonna make you scream,” He smirks.

Matthewkniews posted on Instagram!

Liked by mapleleafs, johntaveres and others

matthewknies: What a killer halloween 🔪 tagged: y/nmarner

user: Holyyyyy. This was not on my 2023 bingo card

mitchmarner: Still not over this

y/nmarner: did I ask for your opinion?

stephmarner: be nice you two

user: KNIES OMG

user: new kink unlocked Liked by y/nmarner

TAG LIST

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings

[kess-wedoshit]

Sauna?

Pair: Sebastian Aho x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: mentions of abuse, eating disorder, drinking, mild smut

Summary: You feel beyond lucky that you made such great friends moving to North Carolina, one of them being Sebastian Aho of the Carolina Hurricanes. When the whole squad gets an invite to Turbo’s cottage for the holidays, y/n’s heart is warmed by a particular Finnish teddy bear, despite the cold weather. 

Notes: My first Sebastian Aho imagine, let me know if you like it! I have continuation part I may post, I also have another piece of writing that explains the beginning aspect of the story better (taking place in North Carolina), although it is a lot darker. If you want to get to the juicy part and don’t care about the back story, skip to where it says “3 months later.” 

xx

Your relationship with Sebastian Aho was complicated to say the least. You met him a year ago while you were dating your long-time boyfriend Justin of 3 years. You moved to North Carolina from Toronto, Ontario to attend medical school, given you did not get accepted anywhere in Ontario. Justin followed you there as he would be able to find work anywhere graduating from Rotman’s School of Business from the University of Toronto. You never could have imagined moving the to US; Canada was your home and you thought it always would be. Despite learning about its terrible past, you began to have a new relationship with the country and was on your journey to understanding your place on the land being a 3rd-generation Italian settler. You immediately became very close with your roommates Daisha and Vanessa. They were both the same age as you, attending University as well. You were very studious, but also liked to party and drink a lot; your roommates liked to ALL the time. Vanessa is from NC and was friends with a few of the canes players who live in the same building: Sebastian, Seth, KK and Svech. She had already lived in your place for 2 years before you and Daisha moved in. The first time you met the boys, your roommate invited them to your place while you were asleep on the couch. When you woke up you were stunned, given you were half-naked and did not expect to have company over (especially that kind of company); you didn’t even expect to take a nap. The boys all chuckled when you greeted them, arms covering your chest as you were only wearing a tiny top with no bra, cheeks flushed and half running out of the room to find a sweater. Immediately, you and Sebastian hit it off. You both had that feeling where you could talk for hours and hours and never run out of conversation. Despite both of you being the more shy ones out of your friend groups, you both couldn’t stop the conversation. It felt like you had known him your whole life. It became known information that night that you were in a long-term relationship, and everything remained friendly, despite the twinkle in both yours and Sebastian’s eyes when you half-heartedly joked around and laughed. 

Sebastian was always protective of you and didn’t like your boyfriend Justin. Despite that, he was never rude to him and always treated him respectfully. You had always thought that Sebastian had a crush on you, and so did your roommates. You wondered why the Fin was even single, given he seemed to be the best bachelor out there in the whole state. You quickly learned that he was very shy, and just never really had the time to date around. He would go out clubbing with the boys from time to time, but he never really took any girls home; bringing a girl home from the club wasn’t his ideal way of meeting someone, knowing it likely wouldn’t lead to anything more, and that a large majority of the girls there would be drunk. Sebastian is a respectful king. Only once did you witness Sebastian bring a girl home from the club. That night you and Justin just made up from a large fight, and decided that you needed to let loose at the club. You went with your roommates, Justin, and the rest of the boys: Sebastian, KK, Jarvy, Svech and even Turbo tagged along this time. You and Justin both got extremely drunk and couldn’t keep your hands off each other on the dance floor. You were never really into PDA, but this night was something different. Everyone saw, and if you are being honest, even in the drunken state, you were able to make out the looks on your roommates, Sebastian’s and Turbo’s faces and were able to discern disappointment. None of them truly liked Justin, as they have witnessed him being mean and almost abusive to you in the past. You saw Sebastian leave with that naturally gorgeous brunette, and you couldn’t help but feel an ounce of jealousy in your drunken state. You would never admit it though, not even to yourself. 

When things blew up with Justin, Sebastian was the one that was there for you. He was there when he found you on the floor in your apartment, passed out from not eating for 2 days, just before the breakup. He was there with you in the ambulance when you woke up, extremely scared and confused from not knowing where you were. You looked around in a panic but Sebastian grabbed your hand and forced you to keep eye contact with him. “I’m here. It’s okay, you are okay. We an in the ambulance going to the hospital, they are just going to check you out. I’m not going anywhere, we are doing this together. It’s okay.”

 He was there for you when they ran tests at the hospital and not only discovered you had not eaten, but also the marks on your neck. He was there to comfort you when you broke down in the car on the way home from the hospital after being questioned about the marks on your neck. And he was there for you for weeks after everything went down. 

It was that night during the car ride home from the hospital when you realized just how much Sebastian cared for you. Seth and KK were concerned and checked in with you both at the hospital. Seth drove Sebastian’s car and dropped it off for him so he could drive you home when you were released. Seth went home with KK shortly after. You hated being vulnerable around people, and you never EVER let yourself cry in front of anyone. When Sebastian noticed you were getting emotional and staring out the window trying to hide your face, he pulled over in a parking lot to a convenience store. Sebastian immediately pulled you into his chest and that is when you broke down. He stroked your back and you held onto him so tightly. When you pulled away, your faces inches apart, you felt something was different. Seeing the hurt in Sebastian’s face made you realize how much he cared for you. Sebastian’s heart strings tugged at his chest and he realized just how cute you were when you cried with your lips swollen, cheeks flushed and the green poping out of your hazel eyes. His eyes filled with concern as he held your face and they were piercing into yours. It was almost as if he was searching for something in them, a sign that you were going to be okay. That was the moment you knew for sure.

xx 3 months later xx

It was December and this year you and your roommates were given a 2 week reading break over the holidays. They boys had a week off as well. Turbo invited all of you to his cottage back in Finland, and with a lot of convincing to your family that you would not be home for Christmas just this once. It was the whole squad (minus Svech who went back to visit his family for the holidays): you, Vanessa, Daisha and her new girlfriend, Sebastian, Seth, KK and Turbo. At this time of year, you only get one hour of daylight in Finland, and the boys, Sebastian and Turbo, were determined to give you all the best Finnish Christmas experience. 

Turbo’s cottage was giant. It had the main house which had 4 bedrooms: 1 master with a king-size bed (for Turbo to sleep in, all by himself), 2 other bedrooms with queen-sized beds and the last bedroom has 2 double bunk beds. There were also a bunch of pull-out couches and it seemed like the cottage could fit a whole hockey team. The cottage also has a guest house about 100 meters away where his sauna was also located. When you all arrived, you got settled into your rooms. It was later in the evening and you were all exhausted to have a full-on party, so you all just decided to keep it a chill night with music and a couple of drinks. You were feeling a bit buzzed after few drinks, but for the most part you were all there. One by one, everyone started to get tired and went to their rooms until it was just you and Sebastian.

Sebastian was a little buzzed himself, and gave you a very mischievous look. You questioned him, rolling your eyes with a chuckle.

Y/N: “What is it Sebby?”

Sebastian: “I’m just thinking. You never had your sauna experience yet. We always said we go to Turbo’s but never did. Why don’t we go now, and I’ll give you the FULL experience.”

Y/N: “Oh hell no. Does the full experience mean jumping into a frozen lake, because that is not happening”

Sebastian: “Oh come on... you said you wanted to make the most out of your experience here and this would be the perfect way to start it off. Everyone is sleeping and they won’t hear you scream like a little girl from that distance.”

Y/N: “Scream like a little girl? You think I can’t handle a little cold? I’m not scared, I would just prefer not to be freeze my ass off right now”

Sebastian: “Chicken”

Y/N: “OK fine. Screw it, lets do it”

Sebastian’s smile widely. 

Sebastian: “Okay let’s do it. Get into your bathing suit and bring a change of clothes. I will get you a towel”

Y/N: “Aren’t fins supposed to go commando in the sauna?”

Sebastian: “What is commando?”

Y/N: “Like....naked”

Sebastian: “You’re right. But I know you, and you would never do that. Go get your stuff”

You rolled your eyes and walked away. He was right, you would never in a million years feel confident enough to be naked in front of any of your friends, not even your roommates if you were being honest. He knew you so well. You got into your new bathing suit and realized it was a little too cheeky, but you didn’t mind because you thought it was cute. You packed a little bag with some clothes: underwear, a cropped tank top, a hoodie, sweat pants and your fuzzy socks. You didn’t know exactly what this experience would entail, but you were excited and ready for it. You left your room in just your bathing suit and Sebastian greeted you in the kitchen with his, and handed you your towel which you wrapped around yourself. You both slipped on your flip flops and you followed Sebastian out the door. The cold winder weather in Finland hit you hard, but you loved the cold. After what seemed like a 5 minute walk, you arrived at the sauna and the guest house. You dropped your bags inside the guest house that Sebastian unlocked. It was pitch dark in the guest house and you couldn’t really see inside. You both accidentally left your towels as well which you only realized later on. Once you got closer to the sauna, you could see a frozen black pool of water and ice right next to it. It had steps to go down into it. You wondered how the water did freeze over. Immediately you began to regret your decision to do this, as you already felt like you were frozen and began shivering.

Y/N: “Ok. What do we do now”

Sebastian: “Let’s get into the Sauna”

Sebastian set up the sauna and you watched him do his magic. It got hot really fast, and after 10 minutes you were both sweating.

Sebastian: “How do you like it?”

Y/N: “It feels very nice, but I’m not sure how much longer I can stay in here. It’s getting very hot”

Sebastian: “I say lets stay just a few more minutes, if you can handle it?”

You nodded and you both sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes. After the time passed, you both exited the sauna back to the cold winter air which hit you a thousand times harder this time around due to the temperature difference from the sauna to outside. Sebastian gave you a look.

Sebastian: “Are you ready”

Y/N: “Nope. Time to go back,” you say as you start walking away.

Sebastian chuckles and bear hugs you from behind and pulls you back towards the sauna and the frozen pool. You had never been skin-on-skin with him before; he was holding you and you both were in your bathing suits.

Y/N: “But do I have to?” you ask in a whiney voice.

Sebastian said yes in a very stern voice, trying to hide his smile. He said he would go first and before you knew it, he was jumping into the pool. He screamed a little, it was the strangest noise you ever heard, and you started to laugh while you were bouncing up and down from being so cold standing outside. Sebastian stayed in for about 30 seconds before he climbed out and started yelling.

Sebastian: “okay your turn go, go, go. I’m freezing here it feels even colder when you get out. GO.”

You would have taken more time fighting your thoughts before going inside but you could see how cold Sebastian was so you you quickly walked down the ladder and once you felt the cold hit you like knives, you decided to miss the last few steps and just jumped. Sure enough, you shrieked just like Sebastian said you would, and then you went frozen. You felt like you couldn’t move your body at all or speak. Your mind went very fuzzy. Before you knew what was going on, you felt a pair of strong hands pull you out of the water. 

Sebastian screamed: “You did it!! Are you okay!??”

You nodded quickly, adrenaline rushing through you both.

Sebastian screamed: “Okay, lets go back to to the house now. Come on let’s go.”

You both started running barefoot while screaming and laughing, on your way back to the guest house. Sebastian was faster than you but slowed down his speed so he wouldn’t be too far from you. I don’t know what possessed you to do so but you picked up some of the snow off the ground and threw it at him, failing miserably as the wind caught most of it and directed it back in your face. Sebastian yelled “WHAT THE HELL,” as you both continued to laugh hysterically. You did the same thing again and Sebastian stopped and picked you up. You yelled at him to put you down and to your surprise, he obeyed. Once you got to the guest house Sebastian swung the door open and turned the single light on in the whole house. He quickly showed you where the bedroom was and he told you to wait in there while he sprinted off to search for fresh towels as you somehow lost the ones you brought. The guest house looked like an old cabin made of wood, with a giant fireplace at the back. It was gorgeous. The bedroom has a glass ceiling and you were able to see all the stars in the sky, although at the time, you were not focused on that because your ass was still FREEZING. You noticed a fake fireplace in the bedroom and you turned it on anxiously without asking Sebastian if it was okay. At that point, you didn’t really care. Sebastian quickly ran inside the room with a bunch of giant towels and he immediately wrapped one around you and embraced you in his arms while he quickly rubbed them up and down your body. His warmth combined with the one from the fake fireplace felt so good

Y/N: “Sebby what about you!? Get your towel!”

Sebastian: “Oh yes!”

Sebastian was so focused on making sure you got warm and that mixed with the adrenaline he forgot to wrap a towel around himself as well. He quickly did as such and held you in his arms again. You both were jumping up and down a little until you were getting warmer and warmer.

Y/N: “That was crazyyyyyy. I can’t believe we just did that” you say while laughing.

Sebastian: “Welcome to Finland,” he says while kissing your forehead.

You pull away from him and you both smile wide at each other. All he could think about is how cute you look with your hair wet and no makeup on. Gosh you were so beautiful and it always drove him nuts. He always knew he loved you, but was always forced to hide his feelings. Even after you broke up with Justin, he was too scared to make a move too soon after and it would kill him if he ever destroyed the friendship you both had. You were his person, and he was yours. 

You look at Sebastian with a quizzical look.

Y/N: “What is it?”

Sebastian was so lost staring at you in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that the smile disappeared from his face and that he was looking at you with a very serious expression. Sebastian took a couple of seconds before he could answer.

Sebastian: “You’re just so beautiful”

You roll your eyes and chuckle.

Y/N: “Oh yea, I’m sure I look sooooooo beautiful right now” you say sarcastically as you pick up a strand of your wet, frozen hair. You shake your head and continue to laugh. Sebastian knew you weren’t looking for reassurance, and that you truly didn’t know just how beautiful you were. That is what he always loved about you. He always thought you were one of the most gorgeous girls he ever laid eyes on, he knew others recognized how adorable you were too, and yet you didn’t believe it. Sebastian’s face got even more serious.

Sebastian: “I mean it. You are so beautiful and it drives me crazy.”

Your expression dropped and you soon matched Sebastian’s serious look. Your mind was racing a mile a minute. Could this be it? Is something happening right now between the both of you? He was your best friend, and although you always knew there was something a little more, you thought there was a mutual, unspoken agreement that you both wouldn’t cross that line in order to preserve the friendship. You don’t know where this spike of courage came from, maybe it was from the cold and all the adrenaline, but you took a step back and dropped your towel on the ground. The way Sebastian was looking at your body gave you the confidence to do what you were going to do next. You stepped closer to him once again and asked, “can I kiss you?.”

Before you could barely finish the sentence Sebastian’s lips connected with yours. You both kissed very slowly and in sync. Sparks were flying. You pulled away and you saw the scared look in Sebastian’s eyes. You step back once again, Sebastian watching you very carefully. You slowly untie your bikini top and let it drop to the ground, right where your towel is. Sebastian couldn’t help but stare at your breasts; he was speechless. His cheeks flushed a different shade of red you had never seen on him before, the redness even more prominent than it was earlier from the cold outside. His heart started beating a mile a minute. You quickly grabbed him and started kissing him again, this time at a faster pace. Sebastian picked you up and your wrapped your legs around his torso. He sat down on the bed, with you straddling him and the make out session continued. Things progressed very fast and before you knew it you were both completely naked, lying down on the bed while Sebastian searched the entire guest house for a condom. Of course there were plenty in the en-suite bathroom. Go Turbo. The only words spoken to each other throughout this entire time was Sebastian asking you if you were sure you wanted it and you responded with a “yes.”

The sex was magical. You lay on stop of Sebastian and you could hear his heartbeat. Neither of you have said a thing for over 15 minutes. You break the silence with the most random question, without even commenting on the events that just happened, and purposely avoiding the fact that your friendship would likely never go back to the way it was.

Y/N: “Do you think Turbo has any hot chocolate mix in here?”

Sebastian did his cute thinking face and says: “I don’t know, but I could really go for some hot chocolate. We can go check.”

You slowly get off of Sebastian and search for the clothes in your bag. The guest house was heated up at this point and you didn’t even notice that Sebastian started the fire in the main room when you first ran in before bringing the towels. You were amazed as to how fast that happened. You decide just to put on your cute underwear which was a little cheeky, you cropped tank top and your fuzzy socks. Weird attire, but it was comfy, and you though you looked cute and sexy in them at the same time, a feeling that didn’t come to you so easy. Sebastian said he needed to clean up in the bathroom and told you to search the kitchen.

When you got to the kitchen you easily found hot chocolate mix, to your surprise. You opened a bunch of drawers while searching for mugs. Of course they were in the top drawer that your 5′3 frame was struggling to reach. You stood on you tippy toes and were very determined to reach the mugs. You didn’t even notice Sebastian walk in, and weren’t sure as to how long he was staring at you with his soft smile, like you were his entire world. He thought you looked so cute being so short and standing on your tippy toes. He felt bad that he was enjoying watching you struggle, but he couldn’t help it. Your ass looked so great in those tiny underwear. Your belly exposed from the cropped tank top was adorable and sexy at the same time.

Y/N: “How long have you been standing there? Can I please get some help here,” you say trying to sound annoyed in a joking way.

Sebastian: “It’s fun watching you struggle.”

You roll your eyes.

Y/N: “Shut up Sebby, please help.”

Sebastian: “Anything for you.”  

[hs-is-loml]

No Shame. (c.f)

“Love is fatal. Won't you give it a chance?”

Pairing: Conrad Fisher x Fem!Reader

Summary: returning back to Cousins felt different compared to all the other years. everything around you felt like it was changing but maybe it was for the better.

Warnings: most part is fluff, maybe a lil swears, mention of parents divorce. best friends to lovers…

a/n: i missed you guys so much during my trip <3 thank you for all the love! also your parents’ names are Julia and William because it makes writing easier throughout this :)

word count: 4.38k basically 4.4k...

masterlist

You were ecstatic to return to Cousins and even more excited to see the Fishers and Conklins again. Sure you kept in contact throughout the year for holidays and birthdays but it wasn’t the same. You counted the months down to the trip back. It almost felt like after you left Cousins you were already waiting to come back. 

This year would be different. You had a feeling it would be. Maybe it would be the year Conrad finally noticed you for something more than just the little girl he grew up with. Conrad was always your best friend out of the bunch but you thought that’s all he saw in you. He was probably the only one you really kept in contact with throughout the year with small texts every month and little updates about each other's life. 

You were turning 17 in a few weeks, but in the past year, you felt like you changed a lot yourself. You didn’t know if you finally felt more confident in your own skin or if you found yourself in the past year. You have better style now, finally feel more confident in your body to ditch the one piece, and got your license too.

You missed everyone, of course. It felt like you needed a break from your life. Your parents got divorced since the last time you came to Cousins. It was hard for everyone in the family. You stayed with your mom, Julia, in New York while your dad, William, decided to move back to Toronto. 

You didn’t know if the others knew about the divorce, but you knew it wouldn’t be much of a difference considering your dad only came to the Fourth of July party Susannah throws. You decided not to tell Conrad about the divorce because you already knew the problems between Susannah and Adam, you didn’t want to add more to that pile.

As your mom pulled up to the Fisher’s driveway, you quickly took off your seat belt and waited for the car to come to a full stop before heading out of the car. You guys came a week earlier than you were supposed to, so you guys could surprise them. They thought you were still on a volleyball camp. 

You and your mom quietly made your way into the house where you noticed everyone was sitting in the dining room eating dinner. All their attention was on Laurel who was talking about her book party that’s planned for tomorrow night. You made your way to hug Susannah from behind as your mom went to Laurel. 

“Surprise!” you and your mom shouted from behind gaining the others’ attention.

“Y/n, darling!” Susannah said as she turned in her chair to face you. 

“Hey Susannah,” you smiled letting go of her as she went to stand. 

“Oh, you’re so beautiful, sweetheart,” as she took your face in her hands taking you in.

“Finally, got rid of the glasses and frizzy hair,” you joked.

“No, you’ve always been so pretty but you matured from the last time I saw you,” Susannah complimented.

"Thanks, Susannah," you blushed.

“I miss the glasses and wild hair, Y/n/n,” Conrad smirked getting up from his chair.

“Maybe the glasses but definitely not the rats nest you know?” you giggled going to him to give him a hug. You felt his arms wrap around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. You both held onto each other but slightly pulled away after Jeremiah coughed.

You turned your head to see a grinning Jeremiah who always somehow knew about your crush on Conrad. You saw his eyes look down for a second before grinning even wider. You were suddenly aware of Conrad’s hands that were still on your hips while yours were on his shoulders.

“Y/n, you gotta give me your skincare routine,” Belly says saving you from more self-embarrassment. 

“Ahh! Belly, you’ve grown so much from last summer!” you said letting go of Conrad to rush Belly into a hug.

“You and William must be shooing guys left and right, Julia,” Laurel joked as she looked at you and Belly catching each other up on their lives.

“With her rejecting any guy that looks at her, she does the work for us,” your mom laughed while shaking her head about the last guy you rejected.

It was the middle of April and the sweetest guy named, Matthew asked you to prom but you decided to go with a group of friends instead. Because going with someone else didn’t really feel right to you, all your life you wanted Conrad Fisher and now wasn’t a time to stop. Your mom was in the kitchen and you were in the living room when you heard a knock. Poor Matthew was waiting on your front porch with balloons, a lavender bouquet, a chocolate heart, and a sign saying “Will you be by my side for the night?” 

Let’s just say it didn’t go the way Matthew wanted. You tried your best to let him down easy, but you felt like you were making it worse. Only your mom knew about his promposal considering you didn’t want them to tease you on why you didn’t give the guy a chance. You told Jeremiah about Matthew since you knew he would understand why. 

That night you and Jeremiah talked for hours. It made you miss being in Cousins even more. Conrad might be your best friend but you and Jeremiah always had a special friendship where you always knew what the other is feeling. You ranted about Conrad to him and he told you how he was sick of people trying to define his sexuality. Both of you knew that you could always talk to the other about anything with no judgment whatsoever. 

“Mom!” your cheeks turned bright red from embarrassment.

“Honey, you got to give a guy a chance someday, you know,” your mom teased.

“Or don’t?” Conrad muttered but you caught what he said. You turned your attention to him and raise your eyebrow at his comment. He looked back at you and smirked. 

“Wait, Julia are you thinking about Matthew?” Jeremiah asked loudly.

You felt yourself get whiplash from snapping your head to Jeremiah's direction to give him a glare. You were trying to signal him to cut it out but it was too late. 

“Who’s Matthew?” Conrad voiced out. 

“Nobody!” you tried your hardest to keep a straight face when you said it out loud. 

“That’s what his name was! Oh, poor boy, I kind of liked him too,” your mom said.

“He was okay,” Jeremiah replied.

“But he was so sweet with the flowers and those chocolates were good,” your mom rambled on. 

“That’s true the lavender and baby's breath mixed was a nice touch,” Jeremiah added. 

“Jeremiah, for the love of god, shut up!” you said while looking for something to throw at him but sadly you remembered there were still people eating dinner. 

“No keep going,” Conrad pushed on with a frown placed on his face. 

“Oh, my bad…” Jeremiah trailed off when he saw the glare you were giving him. 

“Okay, I’m done for the night. I’m going to get my bags and go to my room,” you told your mom while heading out of the dining room. 

“I’ll help,” you hear Conrad from behind you not taking long to catch up to your pace. 

“Oh, you don’t need to.”

“Oh, I want to, trust me.”

“So why didn’t you tell me about Matthew?” Conrad asked while he sat on the edge of your bed while you continued to unpack all of your bags into the drawers. 

“There’s not much to say about him. How’s the beach right now?” you answered trying to avoid this conversation with Conrad. 

“Nope. You’re not getting out of this one. You told Jeremiah, but not me?” 

“Conrad, I don’t get why this matters right now it’s in the past.”

“I’m just wondering why you kept this from me.”

“Because I didn’t think it was that important, and you hate whenever I tell you about guys so I thought you wouldn’t care if I told you or not,” you said trying to set aside a bikini to wear later. 

“Did you like him or something is that why you didn’t want to tell me?” Conrad continued to push on with the topic.

“No, I didn’t, but it shouldn’t even matter anymore since I already rejected the guy,” you sighed. 

“I’m sorry, it just bothers me that you told Jere instead of me. I thought we were closer than that.”

“Con, we are. Jeremiah happened to call me on the night it happened and I explained the whole thing to him. I was going to tell you, but it wasn’t anything important, really,” you explained telling him the half-truth while going up to where he was sitting and giving him a hug.

This would be the only time you’re taller than him with his tall structure. His hands squeezed your waist as you pressed a kiss on his forehead. You always felt so connected to Conrad. Sure you guys had your ups and downs but it was always made up for. 

“You going for a night swim?” he asked quietly looking up at you while you kept your arms around his shoulders and a hand playing with his hair the way you knew he liked. This felt different, it was more intimate than you two have ever been. You liked it.

“Yeah, wanna join?”

“Of course, not gonna let you go out there alone.”

“Well, you got to get out for me to change you know.”

“I don’t mind,” Conrad smirked.

“Well, I happen too.”

“I think I’ll stay,” he said with no shame holding on tighter to your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“Con, get out!” you tried to laugh off the red spreading your cheeks. You took his hands off your waist and pulled him off the bed. You struggled to try to get him out of the room but you finally pushed him out the door. 

“I’ll see you down in 15?” he said over his shoulder as he walked to his room.

Well, that was odd. Conrad’s never joked with you like that before you didn’t know how to feel. It was like he saw you more than the little girl with glasses and frizzy hair. Maybe this would really be the summer for everything.

The house was dark when you were walking downstairs and heading to the back doors. When you walked out you saw Conrad sitting down by the pool dangling his feet in. He turned his head by the creak of the steps when you walked down.

“You ready?” he asked getting up from beside the pool.

“As I’ll ever be,” you replied walking towards him. 

“Everyone else went to bed already,” he said as you two walked down to the beach.

“Am I not enough for you?” you joked with him.

“N-no, I didn’t mean that I was just telling you…” he cut himself off. 

“I missed this,” you said when you took in the smell of the water and sand. It gave you such comfort that nothing else could ever compare to. 

Cousins Beach felt more like home than your actual home in New York. You had the people you loved here. No unnecessary problems or worries that majorly concerned you while you were here. When you were back home you had to worry about schools, sports, your parents, and everything else in the mix.  

“I missed you,” Conrad mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?” you asked not catching what he said.

“I think the water missed you too.”

“We’ll have to find out then, shall we?” you stuck your right hand out for him to hold and the second you felt your hands touch you tighten your grip and ran with him to the water. 

You felt free. It was like nothing could ever go wrong with having Conrad with you and amazing water. You splashed Conrad as a joke before you realized he didn’t take it as a joke and you started swimming for the life of you. But Conrad being himself caught you and dragged the both of you underwater. You resurfaced and tried getting your hair out of your face which you weren’t doing a very good job at it.

“Your hair will always be wild,” Conrad smiled pushing the hair you missed out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. You were glad it was dark so he couldn’t see the obvious flush on your cheeks.

“And to think I just tamed it,” you giggled pushing him away from you.

“I like it better this way, it’s more you,” he said as he swam closer to you. 

“Con, you feeling okay today?” you laughed as you placed your hands on his shoulders when he lifted you onto his lap. Your legs wrapped around his waist as his hands went to grip your hips.

“Never better,” he grinned as he gazed into your eyes, you wanted to break the eye contact but it was like you couldn’t.

“Con, what are we doing?” you sighed as you played with the hairs on the back of his head. This was a dangerous game you two were playing and you didn’t know how to stop. Better yet you didn’t want to.

“Whatever feels right I guess?” Conrad’s gaze went from your eyes down to your lips before traveling up again to your eyes.

“Conrad.”

“Y/n. Can I kiss you?” he scanned your face for any signs of hesitation. You nodded your head as a yes for him.

“You gotta tell me, Y/n,” he added on.

“Yes, Con,” he leans in to softly placed his lips on yours and kisses you tenderly before pulling pack to see your reaction.

When his lips touched yours you felt like fireworks were going off in the back. It didn’t feel real. Here you were kissing Conrad Fisher, the boy you’ve wanted since you learned about crushes. When he pulled back you were afraid, he thought it was a mistake before you saw the look on his face.

His face was filled with love and contentment. It made you want him more so this time you pushed your lips on his going into a heated kiss. It wasn’t perfect but then again nothing ever is. It was filled with such eagerness and hunger. His hold on your hips tightened and pulled you closer to him till there was no space separating you two. 

As the kiss deepened you felt his tongue swipe against your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth slightly allowing him to slip his tongue in. You guys kissed for what felt like an eternity but it was something you could never get enough of.

You two pulled back from one another and tried to catch your breath. You felt a slight buzz lingering around your head from the kiss. Your foreheads leaned against each other, enjoying the moment between you two. 

“Conrad, why now?” you voiced, breaking the silence as you continued staring into his eyes. Something about them was so alluring and beautiful. The blue looked so pure but at the same time so intimidating. 

“I never realized how much I wanted you until you were right in front of me. I should’ve realized sooner,” he said softly.

“Realized what?” you whispered.

“You’re the only one for me.”

“Don’t say something you don’t mean,” you muttered breaking the eye contact and looking at the waves crashing down onto the water. 

“I’ll only ever want you,” he said raising one of his hands to turn you back to him. His hand cupped your cheek and he pressed his lips on yours gently. He pulled back before you could respond to the kiss. 

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted,” you admitted to him in a whisper. 

“And here I was thinking you didn’t want me,” he joked. 

“Oh shut up,” you scoffed in amusement.

“You going to give us a chance?” 

“Always.”

You woke up snuggled up in your sheets with the sun shining through the window. Last night felt like a huge fever dream that never happened. You felt all giddy and blushy at the thought of what happened between you and Conrad on that beach.

You guys had to sneak back into the house while trying not to wake anyone up last night. Conrad walked you to your room pulling you into a quick kiss before sneaking back into his room.

After getting ready you walked downstairs for some breakfast. You walked into the kitchen not realizing everyone else was already there. All their eyes landed on you making you the center of their attention.

“Mornin’ sleeping beauty,” Jeremiah poked your cheek when you grabbed a mug from the cabinet. 

“Someone had a late night…” Steven teased when you went to pour some coffee into your mug.

“Mind sharing the details?” Belly questioned handing you the creamer from the fridge.

“Yeah, share it with the class, Y/n,” Conrad added on with a grin.

‘Of course, this would happen to you,’ you thought to yourself. You wanted to wipe that damn grin off Conrad’s face so bad. 

“Umm, what do you mean?” you played dumb.

“I mean that you came home when everyone was already asleep last night,” Steven replied.

“Yeah, so who were you with last night?” Belly asked. 

“Yeah, who were you with, Y/n? You look awfully happy,” Jeremiah pointed out.

“I wonder who could make you like that, Y/n?” Conrad said widening his grin. He was having way too much with this for your liking. 

“So who was the lucky guy??” Jeremiah asked eagerly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shrugged as you focused on stirring your coffee instead of the faces staring at you.

“Honey, I’m glad you were with someone,” your mom said from the table sitting with Laurel and Susannah. 

“Not you too,” you said exasperated.

“Do we know the guy, sweetie?” Susannah asked smiling at you. Though you could tell she already had her guess at who ‘this guy’ was.

“Maybe you could invite him to the signing party tonight!” Laurel happily added.

“Oh, I’m not too sure about that,” you hesitated.

“That’s a perfect idea! Bring him later and we can all meet him,” Jeremiah announced to everybody in the room. Everyone came to an agreement about it except for you. Considering you didn’t know how you were going to get out of this one this time. 

“Conrad!” you exclaimed walking into his room, making sure to shut the door behind you.

“What?” he asked smugly sitting up from his bed. 

“I cannot believe you right now,” you said as you sat on the edge of the bed.

“I didn’t do anything,” he said putting both of his hands up in defense.

“You know exactly what you did.”

“Do I really make you that happy?” he teased you.

“You always do,” you smiled looking down at your hands in your lap.

“Come here,” he said opening up his blanket to let you crawl in.

“Do you actually want to tell them tonight?”

“Maybe not directly,” he grinned.

“How?” you wondered.

“At the party, we won’t hide anything you know?”

“So we’re letting them figure it out by themselves?” you laughed at the idea. You could see their reactions now.

“Why not?”

 “Is this us labeling what we are?” 

A question that would not leave your mind since last night. Sure you both admitted having feelings for one another and started doing more intimate things but you never said anything about labels. Not that it was extremely important but it still lingered around your mind. 

“We are, whatever you want us to be.”

“So I’m hearing you wanna be my boyfriend,” you giggled. 

“Say it again,” he whispered against your lips.

“My boyfriend,” when you said that it was like something lit up in Conrad’s eyes, and he pulled you into a greedy kiss.

 “Y/n, when are going to meet this secret boy of yours?” Susannah said excitedly when you guys walked into the bookshop giving you and Conrad a glance from the corner of her eye.

“So you did invite him?” Jeremiah asked intrigued by the topic of conversation.

“We’re going to meet Y/n’s boyfriend?!” your mom squealed. 

“You’re not meeting anybody,” you answered.

“So you didn’t?” Jeremiah continued in a very confused tone.

“Why does it matter so much?” you asked Jeremiah as you guys went to go sit on the couch.

You sat in the middle leaving the seat next to you open while Jeremiah took your other side. Conrad went to get you guys some drinks and Belly & Steven were off helping their mom with something. 

“Because I wanna know how this mystery guy that got you to think of anyone else but Conrad,” Jeremiah whispered to you when he saw Conrad walking back towards you two. 

“Whatcha guys talking about?” Conrad whispered to you two mockingly as he handed you a glass of champagne that you were pretty sure was for the guests.

“Nothing much,” you replied giving him a look that basically said you.

“Just about our girl’s man,” Jeremiah answered him with a teasing undertone.

“Oh, he’s here?” Conrad added with a smirk plastered across his face. 

“We don’t know because Y/n won’t tell us anything about him,” Jeremiah complained.

“Jeremiah, why don’t you go help Steven with the books, he looks like he needs some help,” you moved on from the topic, wanting to talk with Conrad alone without Jeremiah’s constant questions. 

“Yo, Steven, you good?” Jeremiah hollered across the room to him.

“Bro, get your ass over here,” Steven called back. 

“That’s my cue. Conrad, figure out the guy for us?” Jeremiah turned back to Conrad before walking away.

“Yeah totally,” Conrad replied back to him.

“How long do you think it’ll take for them?” you snickered to Conrad looking at Jeremiah and Steven mess around with the extra copies of Laurel’s book.

“Once one notices all of them do,” Conrad said sneaking an arm around your waist. 

“That is very true,” as you scooted closer to his side not caring if anyone saw you. 

You leaned your head on his shoulder as he pressed a quick kiss on the top of your head. Even with the constant questioning that occurred at the beginning of the party, it was nice. Everyone was having a good time. Laurel was signing copies of her book for people; Steven and Jeremiah were messing with the signs; Belly was talking with Cameron, a guy she brought to the party; Susannah was enjoying being able to mingle around with everyone in the room. Conrad and you watched everyone from the couch sitting in comfortable silence before the inevitable chaos that could happen at any time.

“You two look comfy,” a voice said standing in front of you and Conrad which startled the both of you causing you two to separate quickly from each other.

“Hey, mom…” Conrad tried to play off.

“I knew it!” Susannah claimed to point her finger at you two smugly.

“I had a feeling you knew,” you admitted smiling at her.

“How?” Conrad questioned Susannah.

“Honey, you’re never this smiley with anyone, and we all know you would’ve thrown a literal fit if it was anyone but you,” Susannah answered with a lovingly tease. 

“No, I wouldn’t,” Conrad tried to defend himself fully knowing he probably would have.

“Con, yes you would,” you laughed.

“Conrad, would what?” Steven asked coming up to you guys with Jeremiah trailing behind him.

“Thrown a fit if the guy Y/n’s talking to was here,” Susannah covered for you two before walking back towards Laurel.

“I’m surprised he isn’t, to be honest,” Jeremiah commented.

“Wait that’s actually so true,” Steven said as he thought about it.

“Guys, come on,” Conrad tried.

“No wait, you’re not upset at all? Or like acting super protective. You know the guy already, huh,” Jeremiah said as if he was putting pieces of a puzzle together. 

“Why would I be?” Conrad shrugged. You took one side glance at him and started giggling at this entire situation.

“You little missy are not going to get out of this one, so who’s the guy? And why does Conrad already know him?” Jeremiah pointed his finger at you accusingly.

“I would hope he knows him,” you said already knowing how this was going to go down.

“And why’s that?” Steven asked taking the seat beside you.

“Cause I am him?” Conrad muttered amused by this whole thing.

“What’d you just say!?” Jeremiah jumped up looking back and forth between you and Conrad.

“Say what?’ Conrad played dumb.

“You know what you just said!” Steven caught on.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about right now,” Conrad continued.

“I can’t believe this right now,” Jeremiah said in disbelief. 

“Believe what?” Belly asked as she made it up to you guys with Cameron by her side.

“They’re together!” Jeremiah exclaimed while Steven pointed at you and Conrad.

“Wait you guys really didn’t notice?” Belly laughed at their reactions.

“You did?” Steven asked.

“It was so obvious this morning plus I caught Y/n sneaking out of his room to get ready for the party,” Belly explained to the two boys before walking away again.

“Oops?” you said looking back to Conrad who just laughed.

“Only you,” Conrad chuckled pulling you back into him.

“Gross,” Steven said while getting up from beside you two.

“Can I just say, finally!” Jeremiah commented looking at your and Conrad’s interaction.

“Jere, would you please shut up,” you told the boy in front of you.

“Finally?” Conrad questioned from beside you.

“Yeah, bro, she’s liked you since like forever! You remember that one time-” 

“I would shut up right now before you say something you’ll regret later,” you threatened Jeremiah before he said too much.

“No, I would love to hear this,” Conrad smirked, nodding to Jeremiah to continue with his little story.

[tbyfandoms]

New Year’s Nightmare | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Pairing: ceo!shawn mendes x f!reader

Word Count: 8.9k

Summary: new year's eve quickly takes a turn when y/n has a run in with a mystery man. after thinking she'll never see him again, one thing leads to another and suddenly she's trapped in an elevator with him during one of the biggest nights of the year

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, tiniest bit of spice towards the end (barely)

Masterlist | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: happy new year everyone! so sorry this is coming out after new year's eve, but i wasn't able to get it out before then and then with the tagging issue these past few days i didn't want to risk no one being able to see this, but everything seems to be fixed now! even though it's a few days later i still hope you like this slight ceo!shawn fic and that this new year brings you lots of good things! i had this idea and feel really proud with how it turned out in the end, even if it's so much longer than i originally intended lol (when isn't it?). anyways, i appreciate you all and as always; enjoy and lmk what you think! :)

The music bumps through the speakers and surges through your body as you walk across the club to get to your friends. You can feel the vibrations throughout your ribcage, the bass of some remixed song you’ve heard on the radio making you feel like you’re in the middle of experiencing an earthquake.

It’s not that you don’t want to be here, it’s just you’d rather be at home considering the circumstances. A few weeks ago your boyfriend broke up with you. You weren’t really affected by it, in fact you were going to break up with him after the new year rolled in. There was hardly any chemistry between the both of you and neither of you could imagine a future together. You had just wanted it to last through the holidays and especially new year’s, but apparently he had other ideas.

The whole situation saved you money on holiday gifts, but totally put a dent in your planned out new year’s celebration. Your best friend got an insane deal through her family connections to have her and three guests stay at one of the fanciest and most expensive hotels in Toronto for practically nothing. The plan was to have her and her boyfriend have one room and you and your boyfriend to have another. It was supposed to be a fun double date type of celebration and now it’s just a date for your friend and a third wheel option for you.

You tried your hardest to maybe get the plans switched to a girl’s trip and you’d both invite two of your other friends instead, but you understood how desperately your best friend wants this and how excited she is to ring in the new year with her man. You couldn’t ask her to give that up just because you didn’t want to feel like a third wheel on new year’s. She promised you you wouldn’t feel excluded and that the three of you would have fun together, but based on how the night’s going so far, you don’t think that promise will hold up.

When the three of you first arrived to the hotel, it was amazing. You all unpacked and then spent the rest of the day exploring different parts of the city you’d never seen before. The shopping around here was incredible and you and your best friend had an amazing time trying on different outfits for tonight and making her boyfriend rate them. He was constantly flustered but the both of you loved it.

Once it came time to the actual party, that’s when things started to go downhill, at least for you. The club inside the hotel was packed and the music, people, and drinks seemed to pour in from every direction. You thought you’d feed off the energy and have one of the best nights you’ve had in a long time with your two friends, but once the three of you started drinking, Y/F/N and her boyfriend couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They were dancing and making out, all good things, but that promise of not leaving you alone and the three of you having fun together was crumbling fast. You can’t blame them for having fun, God knows everyone deserves a night off to let loose after the past few years we’ve had, but it’s making it hard for you to have fun with them.

You keep trying to venture off and find other people to party with and give Y/F/N and her boyfriend some time alone together; make some new friends or meet a new guy to ring in the new year with, but everyone seems to have their own group or person already.

To be honest you’re completely ready to give up and just go back to your hotel room. Maybe take a nice bubble bath in the insanely huge jacuzzi tub and drink some champagne as the clock ticks down to midnight, but part of you also just wants to hang out for a little longer. You’re not sure when the next time an opportunity to spend the night in a place like this will come again, and you want to soak up every second of it, even if you are technically third wheeling through it all. Although the club is packed, you can still see how big and incredible it is. The architecture throughout the room is astounding. If anything it looks more like a ballroom than a club, but what else would you expect from a place like this? A night here probably costs more than a year’s worth of your rent.

“Hey, girly! Where’d you go?” Y/F/N asks as you finally find her and her boyfriend amongst the crowd on the dance floor. She has her arms wrapped around her boyfriend’s neck and is swaying side to side against him along to the beat of the song as he holds onto her hips.

“I was just looking around!” You yell over the music, hoping she can hear you even with the noise. “Seeing if I can find myself a handsome, rich bachelor!”

Y/F/N throws her head back in a laugh and then shakes her head. “Sounds good to me. You find anyone yet?”

You shake your head and shrug your shoulders. “Nah, but it’s okay. This place is incredible, I swear I can just stare up at the ceiling all night and be satisfied.”

“Right! It still blows my mind we’re even here.” Your friend pulls away from her boyfriend and takes a step closer to you, not wanting the people around you to be in on your business. “Hey, I’m sorry again the plans got messed up and it’s just the three of us. I know you were gonna break up with Y/EX/N anyways, but still. I hope you’re still having fun.”

That right there is why Y/F/N is one of the best friends you’ve ever had. She’s constantly looking out for you and always making sure to check in. Even now while she’s having fun with her boyfriend, she’s here worrying about you and feeling bad. The gesture makes tears well up in your eyes and you hope she doesn’t notice.

“No, don’t be sorry! It’s not your fault. I’m having a wonderful time and it’s all thanks to you that i’m even here right now in this beautiful place. I love you so much, thank you for asking and checking in. I promise you I’m okay and I’m having fun,” you assure her. It’s not even a lie at this point, overall you are having a wonderful time and even if you’re on your own for the most part, at the end of the day it beats staying at home being actually alone and watching the countdown on tv. You had a couple dance sessions with Y/F/N and then with her and her boyfriend as well before they attached themselves together, so honestly you’ve had more than enough fun.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure. I love you too! And don’t even mention it, I’m in just as much disbelief as you are that we get to be here tonight!” Y/F/N reaches out and squeezes the side of your arm. “By the way, you look smokin’, babe!”

The both of you laugh at her remark and you toss your hip a little to the side as you stand impressed with your look as well. It took a while for you to find the perfect outfit for tonight while you were out earlier, but you found it nonetheless and love it.

“Thanks! As do you.”

“What can I say? I try my best,” Y/F/N flips a piece of her hair back in dramatics and you both end up laughing again. “But for real you look so good. I have a feeling some hot guy is gonna see you tonight and fall to his knees at the sight of you!”

You roll your eyes and tilt your head at your friend. “Yeah, yeah, if you say so. Hey, I’m gonna get another drink. Do you guys want anything?”

“I do say so! Mark my words, I feel it in my bones,” she wiggles her eyebrows at you and you can’t help the giggle that escapes you. “And ooo, yes! I’ll take the same as you and let me ask tipsy over here.”

Y/F/N turns to her boyfriend to ask him if he wants anything to drink, but by the look of it he doesn’t seem to need any more. He’s completely loose and enjoying himself, swaying along to the music and smiling when he notices his girlfriend is back in front of him.

You look across at the bar while you wait for your friends response and see there’s a large group surrounding it. You hope they’re not all there to get a drink, the wait time will be forever.

Looking back over at Y/F/N, you see she’s already back to being in a trance with her boyfriend. They look so sickeningly cute. She turns her head towards you, remembering you asked if her boyfriend wanted another drink, and shakes her head at you. Looks like you’ll just be needing to get two drinks then. You feel thankful for that considering you don’t really know how you would’ve managed to make your way back through this crowd while trying to hold three drinks.

You move away from your friends and head over to the bar area. The wall behind the bartender is illuminated in a deep blue hue and the shelves are lined with bottles upon bottles of different high-end brands of alcohol. The options are limitless, if you have the endless amounts of money to pay for it that is.

After brushing past a few people on the dance floor you finally make it to the bar, but are met with that big group you saw when you were still with your friends. From what you can tell they all just seem really excited and are messing around. None of them seem to be without a drink, so because they’re in front of the area you need to order at, you figure you can just squeeze through real quick and buy the drinks you need and get out.

“Excuse me!” You tap on the man’s arm right in front of you, hoping he’ll be able to notice you and move aside a bit so you can get through. You suddenly hear some excited yells mixed with cheers and are confused as to what’s going on. The guy looks over at you and before you can ask if you can squeeze by, you feel yourself get nudged from behind and are thrusted right in the middle of whatever it is that’s going on in the group.

Before you can process what’s happening, you feel some sort of chilled liquid being sprayed all over you. Your hands shoot up immediately to try and block the spray, but it’s too late, you’re practically soaked. The excited cheers around you quickly fade and then the spray is halted just as fast.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry!” You look up and see a tall guy with dark brown curls staring at you with a horrified look on his face. He’s holding a large bottle of champagne, some of it still bubbling out at the top. “Here, let me get you some napkins.”

Shaking your hands in the air to try and get some of the champagne off, you roll your eyes and step closer to the bar. Of course this would happen! You buy a new outfit for new year’s and it gets trashed less than twenty-four hours after buying it, typical. Besides the ruined outfit, you feel sticky and gross. This is definitely not the way you wanted to end the year, or start the new one.

“Relax, dude. Maybe she wanted to get in on the action!” Some guy says from behind you and you have to fight the urge to say something snarky to him. It’s not worth it, the damage is already done.

“Shut the hell up, Brian!” A guy from beside you says and you look up to see it’s the same one who got champagne all over you in the first place.

“Whatever,” ‘Brian’ mumbles. “C’mon, guys let’s hit the dance floor!” The other men around him cheer and all look completely wasted out of their minds. They follow Brian out on the floor and begin to mix and mingle with a group of girls dancing together, leaving you behind with their friend. Some guys.

“Here’s some napkins, they’re all I could find.” He hands you a bunch of small bar napkins, but they’re cheap material for being napkins at a place like this. All they do is get stuck to your hands and start to tear. You do your best to dab at the droplets on your arms and soak up what you can from your clothes. It isn’t perfect but it’ll do for now. You’ll have to go upstairs to clean up thoroughly and change.

“Thanks,” you manage to get out. It feels wrong to thank the guy who did this to you, but at least he stuck around and tried to help out. A lot of other people would just laugh it off and walk away, just like his friends.

The bartender walks over when he sees you and you tell him your order as you begin to ball up all the napkins you used. They’re wet and gross feeling so you quickly toss them over the bar counter into the trashcan while the bartender is making your drinks.

“I’m sorry about what happened, no one else was supposed to be in the middle of that. My friends and I were just messing around, they wanted to get sprayed I-“ He takes a breath and shakes his head, realizing him and his friends’ reasoning won’t solve anything. “I’ll buy you a new outfit if you’d like to replace that one, really I’m-“

“It’s whatever, don’t worry about it.” You quickly say, really wanting him to just drop it and walk away. You don’t feel like a million bucks anymore now that you’ve been drenched back to reality, and to be fair this guy is pretty good-looking. You wanna be pissed at him, but it’s hard to be with a face like his. The best thing to do is just forget it and move on.

The bartender places the two drinks you ordered on the counter in front of you and you take them instantly, wanting to head back to your friends as soon as possible. You turn around and sneak a quick glance at the guy next to you. He’s taller and broader than you thought, but somehow lean at the same time. He’s wearing all black; a blazer fitted over a button up with the sleeves pushed up his arms, fitted dress pants, and a pair of dress shoes you don’t even want to know the price of. He’s oozing wealth and luxury and honestly you could see yourself falling for him simply based off his sincere kindness and appearance, but first impressions are everything and he did spray you with a bunch of champagne. It was an accident sure, but from how his friends acted it seems like this scene isn’t new to him, and you’re not completely obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend who parties all the time. Such is life, at least he was nice to look at for a few minutes.

“Happy New Year,” you mumble out before quickly rushing past him, getting lost in the sea of people on the dance floor as you go back to Y/F/N and her boyfriend.

“Here’s your drink!” You shout to your friend as you find her in the crowd. She let’s go of her boyfriend smiling to reach out and grab the glass, but it falls as she notices you and the state of your outfit.

“Ohmygod, what happened!?” She shrieks as she takes a step back to really take you all in. You don’t look awful, it’s just the fact she can tell your outfit looks completely different from the last time she saw you, which was mere minutes ago.

“I found a hot guy, but he sure didn’t fall to his knees,” You try to joke, but can tell your friend is concerned so you drop the lightheartedness and fill her in on everything that happened. She gasps at certain parts and by the end of it looks like she’s ready to beat someone up.

“What a douche bag!” She huffs before taking a sip of her drink to cool off. She hates guys like the ones you encountered, partially because one of her exes was just like them.

“Eh, he was fine. It was more his friends. He did offer to buy me a new outfit but I just brushed it off. At least he stayed behind and tried to help me clean up.”

Y/F/N nods her head in agreement, the guy didn’t seem all bad, she was really just mad her best friend had to deal with that and have her new outfit ruined. “That’s true, ugh I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay. It could’ve been worse honestly. I’m just gonna head upstairs and clean up.”

“Alright, you’ll be back, right?” Y/F/N looks over at the huge clock on one of the walls of the club. “There’s less than an hour til’ midnight!”

“Yeah, sure,” you reply, but by the look on your friend’s face you know she can tell you’re not even positive you’ll come back down. Celebrating new year’s eve with your friends has been pretty fun, but you’re not sure you’ll be able to handle the countdown and everyone around you sharing a new year’s kiss while you stand there alone. You don’t need a man, you’re perfectly fine on your own, but having a special someone to ring in the new year with was something you were really excited for and now you don’t have it.

“Okay,” she reaches out with her free hand and lightly squeezes your wrist as she looks at you, smiling fondly. “Happy New Year, Y/N.”

“Happy New Year, Y/F/N.” You give your best friend a small smile, appreciative of her and her understanding, and then leave to head back upstairs for the night.

Making your way out of the club to get to the elevators, you stop by the bar to drop off your glass, and also silently hope you’ll see champagne guy again. Sadly, he’s nowhere to be seen. Probably off with his friends and that group of girls they walked to earlier. Oh well.

You reach the elevator and push the up button. Looking down, you notice your clothes have almost dried, the look of the wet stain practically gone. The fabric still feels a little sticky though which makes you shudder a bit. Gross.

The elevator dings before you, signaling it’s arrival. You step on as soon as the doors open and press the number twenty-two on the panel. Before the doors can start to close you hear a yell from someone asking to hold the elevator. You act fast and press the doors open button, hoping it’ll hold for the person trying to get on.

“Thanks!” Someone says as they dart through the elevator doors just in time before they start to close again. You look up ready to say ‘you’re welcome’ but the words seem to escape you as you realize who it is that stepped onto the elevator with you.

Him.

Champagne guy.

Oh no.

It seems simultaneously you both recognize who the other one is and the two of you appear to retreat to different corners of the elevator instantly.

“Uh- w-what floor,” you stammer out, unsure of how to act in this situation.

“Twenty-two.” You freeze at his answer. Is he trying to hit on you? Invite himself to your room or something? He had to have seen the light on the floor you previously selected. How else would he know?

“You’re on floor twenty-two?” You question, wanting to see what he’ll do.

“Yeah, why?” He looks around you and notices the already lit up button. His eyes widen a little as he realizes what this must look like. “I swear I’m in room twenty-two seventeen, look.” He pulls out a room key from his back pocket and it does in fact have those numbers in bold on it.

You nod your head, letting him know you believe him, and then turn back to facing the elevator doors as it continues to take you up. You glance at what floor you’re on right now and nearly groan at the number eight flashing at you. Damn this slow elevator.

Trying your best not to make any sudden movements, feeling a little nervous and jittery from being so close to this guy now, you tense as you can feel his eyes on you from behind. You can tell he wants to say something, but you’re hoping he doesn’t. Really, what’s there left to say anyways?

“I really am so sorry for what happened back at the bar.” And there he goes. You nearly sigh when he speaks, for the fact you don’t really want to go through this again but also because his voice is pretty attractive. “I know what you must be thinking but I promise I’m not like my friends. I wouldn’t do something like that on purpose and I just want you to know I feel bad and that I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d buy you a new outfit.”

It’s as if he read your mind when you were both at the bar. Does he have to stick up for himself a lot because of his friends? If he doesn’t want people to group him as someone like them, why hangout with people like that anyways?

You turn around and face him, thinking it’s the least you can do considering the fact he does genuinely seem to feel bad about what happened. From what you can tell he doesn’t seem like a bad guy and it’s not the end of the world you got sprayed with champagne. Maybe on a voluntary basis it would’ve actually been fun.

“Seriously don’t worry about it. I forgive you, it’s not the worst thing to happen. And thank you for offering to buy me something new, but you don’t have to. Apologizing and meaning it is enough. I appreciate it.” He nods his head and gives you a small smile which you return. The guy goes to say something else but suddenly the elevator comes to a halt; going up and then down while shaking, the lights flickering for a moment, before completely stopping. You stumble a bit and the guy reaches his hand out to grasp your arm and stable you. You regain your balance and look up at the lights to indicate what floor you’re on. It says twenty-two, but the doors haven’t opened yet.

Reaching out towards the button to open the doors, you press it and wait for the elevator to open and let you out. Nothing happens so you press it again, but still nothing. The lights above you flicker again so you refrain from pressing the button another time, fearing it may lead to the elevator malfunctioning even more.

A throat is cleared beside you and you twist around to find champagne guy standing much closer and pointing towards the panel. “May I?”

Nodding your head, you move aside so he can get closer to the panel. You’re not sure what more he can do considering pressing the button to open the doors did absolutely nothing, but why not let him have a shot anyways.

Before you can question what he plans on doing, he pushes the button with a telephone on it. A pretty loud ring goes off a few times before someone picks up. You probably should’ve done that instead of pushing the same button over and over. You’re grateful the guy can’t see the blush begin to creep up your face.

“Hello?” A voice comes through from the speakers and you nearly cheer. You always thought those call buttons were just for show or rarely worked. Maybe you’d be able to get out of here soon and not be stuck with some guy you know nothing about.

“Yes! Hi!” The guy leans down towards the speakers on the panel as he talks. You don’t think he needs to speak into them, but the view of his arms flexing as he holds himself up prevents you from saying anything. He’s fine just as he is. “I’m a guest here at the hotel and I’m stuck in the elevator with another guest. We were riding up to the twenty-second floor and the elevator just stopped. The doors won’t open or anything. Can you send someone to fix it and get us out of here?”

“I’m sorry to hear that, sir. We’ll do our best to try and get you out but it’s going to be several hours until we can get someone out here to fix it.”

“What!?” You can’t help but to shriek out. There’s no way you can be stuck in here for several hours on new year’s eve. Sure, you were planning on spending the rest of it in the bath with some champagne, but that’s better than being stuck in an elevator that could essentially breakdown even more any minute with a guy you’ve never met before. “You have to get us out of here! Why is it going to take so long? What if something else happens to the elevator?”

You move towards the panel and the guy steps aside so you can hear the staff member better.

“I’m sorry, ma’am but it’s new year’s eve and you’re in one of the best cities in Canada. The traffic is endless and it’ll take our maintenance staff a while to get here with the supplies they need.” What!? You figure in a place like this they’d have endless staff on hand for things like this. If they have to drive here, new year’s will be over by the time they arrive. This is why you and your friends walked everywhere today, even in the daylight the traffic was brutal so you can’t even imagine what it’s like now.

You groan and lean your back against the elevator wall beside you. “This is a nightmare,” you grumble.

The guy looks over and notices how defeated and upset you look. He feels bad, not just because he sprayed you with champagne but because he knows this isn’t the way you wanted to spend your new year’s eve, it’s not how anyone would want to spend it. He inches closer to you and the panel and you press up against the wall just a little bit more, flustered by his sudden closeness.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else you can do?” He pauses, glances at you for a second, then turns back towards the panel. You can tell there’s something on his mind; he looks almost uncomfortable as he continues speaking. “I’m-I’m Shawn Mendes.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion at what he’s said. Why would telling the staff who he is change anything? From what you can tell he’s not anyone famous…

It hits you.

Mendes.

As in the Mendes Group, one of (if not the) biggest and most influential corporations in Toronto, in Canada even. No matter what it is, business, management, public relations, anything and everything, Mendes Group is typically behind it. There’s no wonder why ‘Shawn’ looks like he just walked out of a Vogue magazine, he comes from money, both old and new. To be fair he probably has been on Vogue that’s how important and influential his family is. Him and his family probably stay in this hotel all the time, God knows they can afford it.

“Oh! Mr. Mendes! My apologies! I’ll see what I can do for you right away, sir!” The staff member rushes out and it makes you want to roll your eyes. Of course they’ll jump right on the problem if it’s someone rich and powerful asking.

The line goes dead and suddenly the elevator is filled with silence. You’re not sure what to say, clearly Shawn was apprehensive to say his name, you’re not sure why though. You flick your eyes up towards him and can see a faint pink color bloom on his cheeks as he stares down at the speakers on the panel.

Shawn opens his mouth to say something, but the words seem to get stuck in his throat. He doesn’t even know what to say. What are you supposed to say after using your name and status to gain an advantage? This girl must think he’s a typical stuck up rich guy who thinks everyone should and will fall to their knees at his request. He wants her to know how wrong that assumption is, but before he figures out what to say, the call button lights up and a loud ringing floods the elevator.

Quickly pressing on the telephone icon, Shawn answers. “Hello?”

“Mr. Mendes I’ve looked into the matter further and our staff is on their way to help solve the issue. I am sorry to say that it will still be at least an hour before they’re able to get you out.”

Both you and Shawn groan at the worker’s response. An hour? At least?

“I understand, thank you for doing what you can.” Shawn pushes himself off the panel and moves back to the other corner of the elevator. He sinks down to the ground and presses his back up against the wall, sitting with his knees pushed up and his arms laying across them.

“Of course, sir. My apologies for the inconvenience and happy new year!” The line goes dead and you almost want to laugh at the response. Happy new year, sorry you’re trapped in an elevator!

Considering you’ll be stuck in here for who knows how long, you follow in Shawn’s footsteps and sink to the ground as well. You stretch out your legs in front of you and lean your head back against the wall. Might as well get comfortable.

Reaching into your small bag, you pull out your phone to look at the time. 11:15 p.m. Even if the maintenance people come within an hour, the new year would’ve already rang in. You no longer even get the luxury of deciding to go back downstairs to celebrate with your friends.

“What’s the time?” Lost in your thoughts, you nearly jump at the sound of Shawn’s voice. You clear your throat before looking over at him and responding.

“Uh, eleven-fifteen.” Shawn nods his head and you give him a tight-lipped smile. You’re not sure how to keep the conversation going.

The curly-haired man sighs before biting his lip and looking over at you. “You probably think I’m a dick, huh?”

The question is blunt and not at all what you were expecting him to say. You figure you’d both think of something to talk about eventually, being stuck in the same confined space for so long, but this definitely isn’t one of the topics you’d believe would come up.

“No?” You reply, but it comes out more like a question. From what you can tell he’s not an awful guy, he apologized for what happened earlier and even offered to buy you new clothes. The only thing you find weird is how he got flustered when saying who he was, you figure a guy like him would be used to showing off and making his presence known.

He chuckles, acknowledging your confusion and visible internal conflict. He wouldn’t know what to think of himself either considering the experiences he’s shared with you tonight. “I promise you whatever you’re thinking of me right now, I’m the exact opposite.”

“And what if I thought you were a great guy who isn’t some arrogant jerk who comes from money? You’re telling me you are that arrogant rich jerk?” You’re teasing him and you’re glad he doesn’t take offense as you watch a smile break out onto his face. It’s clear he wants you to understand something about him, you’re just not sure what that is yet.

“Ha-ha, very funny. If you really think I’m a good guy, I thank you for that. Everyone always just kinda assumes I am that rich jerk who likes to party and not take any responsibility.” His smile falters and a part of you feels bad knowing that’s almost exactly what you thought after he sprayed you with champagne. “I hate having to use my name like that, but it’s the only thing I could think of to try and speed along the process. I figured if you heard my name and knew who I was you’d act differently or want something from me. Everyone always does.”

You shake your head knowing you’d never do that to someone. Rich and influential or not, humans are humans and deserve to be treated respectfully. Even the ones who do act like stuck up dicks deserve kindness (well, sometimes). “Honestly, I know very little about you. All I really know is your family owns some massive company that’s super successful. As far as I know you’re just some guy I met in a hotel club on new year’s eve.”

Shawn’s smile returns to his face again and it causes you to smile as well. He’s grateful to you for showing him some kindness, he’s so used to being pulled in fifty different directions at once and having people expect perfection from him always. If he’s going to be stuck in an elevator with anyone, he’s glad it’s someone like you.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Shawn nods his head at you and you nod yours in return. “So how come you were leaving the party so early? Please tell me I didn’t ruin your night completely.” He cringes, thinking about the possibility his careless actions forced you to leave behind whoever you were with, and it makes you laugh.

Shaking your head, you shrug your shoulders. “Not entirely. I told my friend I was gonna go upstairs to change and come back but we both knew I wasn’t really gonna go back down. If anything you spraying me with champagne gave me an out.”

Shawn’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and you feel the need to elaborate. It’s not like you don’t have the time.

“I was dating this guy and we broke up a couple weeks ago. I didn’t take it to heart, it wasn’t going anywhere and it was inevitable, but the thing that sucked is that my best friend had this whole trip planned already. She got a deal from her family or something and made it into this double date new year’s celebration. Her and her boyfriend, and me and mine. When my boyfriend and I broke up it really threw everything for a loop. I kinda was hoping she’d turn it into a girl’s trip but who would want to give up a stay in a hotel like this with their boyfriend? So, it’s just me and the both of them and we had fun this morning together but actually going to the party with them was a whole different story. We got a few dances in but then we started drinking and now they’re attached at the hip. I tried to still enjoy it but it’s hard when everyone there basically already has their own person. I didn’t really wanna stick around for the countdown and watch everyone else have their new year’s kiss and I just stood there. Maybe that makes me shallow, I don’t know, but I figured a nice night in with myself and the jacuzzi upstairs would be just fine for me.”

You can’t meet Shawn’s eyes. You don’t know why you just poured all of that out to him, you could’ve just lied. There’s something about him that makes you feel like it’s okay to be open with him though. He kind of opened up to you so it’s fine you opened up to him, right?

“I don’t think that makes you shallow at all. Trust me, I know exactly what you mean. It sucks to feel so alone in a room full of people.” You look up at Shawn and give him a small smile. He put exactly how you felt into words. “I’m sorry about all that.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. At least I’ll have you to ring in the new year with.” A blush forms across your cheeks. I can’t believe I said that, you think.

He smirks but you can see a faint hint of red on his cheeks. “Maybe I can help you out with that new year’s kiss too,” he mumbles sheepishly. If your face didn’t feel hot before, it sure does now. You’re not sure what to reply with, never being fully good with flirting, so you try to change the subject.

“So enough about me. What about you? Why’d you leave early? I know you said earlier you’re not solely the party type, but your friends seem to think differently.” Shawn rolls his eyes and lets out a huff as he begins to fiddle with his fingers, looking lost in thought over the topic.

“My friends are- agh, I don’t know. They have a different perspective on stuff like that. They kind of see every day as an opportunity to get drunk or find the nearest party to let loose at. They think just because I come from a family that’s used to being invited to parties and attending different events every weekend, that I’m down with stuff like that. They kind of hold me to being the life of the party and I guess I sort of just deal with it even if it isn’t fully what I want.”

“Why stay friends with people like that? I assume there’s a lot of people around you like that, but surely not everyone in the industry is obsessed with that kind of stuff?” Shawn shrugs and tilts his head from side to side.

“Not everyone, you’re right, but a majority. It’s hard to find people who will like you just for you and not your money and where you come from. I know you must think that’s rich coming from someone who does come from wealth, but it’s true. I try my best to be authentic with people but either they think it’s just an act or they don’t care. Besides, those guys out there, I’ve known them my whole life, but sometimes I think me gaining more spotlight over the years changed them more than me. I know it may not seem like it but they can be good guys, it just gets to their head sometimes. They know me better than most people, so at the end of the day I’m not as bothered, it just gets to me once in a while so I figured I’d leave and chill in my room.”

“I get where you’re at coming from. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel. To not be able to show off who you really are instead of what people just assume of you? That’s awful. And that sucks about your friends, if anything they should be there for you more instead of reveling in the fame you’ve gained since you started getting more involved with your family’s business. I don’t know what I’d do without my friends to help ground me when I need it most. Even if they know you well, having to handle stuff on your own or ground your own friends over something that hardly involves them seems insane. You don’t deserve that.”

“Thank you, really. Not a lot of people see it that way. I try to open up but I’m told it’ll pass or I’m overthinking. I know it sounds selfish but there’s times I wish I wasn’t involved with the business, that I could just do what I want and get involved with foundations I’m passionate about but can’t take part in because it contradicts clients we look over. I’m grateful to be in the position I’m in, I swear, the good outweighs the bad incredibly, I just wish things were different sometimes.”

“Shawn, being passionate about other things isn’t selfish. If anything it’s selfless. There’s so many people in your position that don’t care about anything or anyone but themselves. You should be able to do things you’re passionate about without worrying whether it combats some client’s company you work with. If it doesn’t hurt anyone it shouldn’t matter.” You don’t know why, but you feel strongly about helping Shawn and defending him. All he wants to do is live his life the way he wants and he’s essentially trapped down one path. Sure being born into wealth and influence isn’t something to complain about, but when it takes over who you are and prevents you from going after what you really want, that’s where a line is crossed.

“Do you mind saying all that again so I can record it and send it to my parents?” The both of you laugh and Shawn seems to relax a bit; stretching out and feeling comfortable telling this stuff to you.

“So, tell me,” you say as you scoot a tiny bit closer to him, feeling drawn in to his presence. “If you could do anything else with your life, anything at all, what would it be?”

“Besides taking part in all the foundations and charities I’m interested in? To be honest…” He hesitates. He looks over at you but he sees how genuinely interested you are. You seem so completely free of judgement and it makes him want to share everything with you. “I’d love to make music and tour around the world. Use my influence for good and spread as much love and kindness as I can. I know it sounds cheesy and a million others already do it but it’s something I’ve loved since I was a kid. I’d do anything to have my music out there.”

Your heart seems to melt at his confession and you can’t help but feel giddy over how shy and vulnerable Shawn looks right now. You can tell how serious he’s being and how hard this must be for him to admit.

“I know I’ve never heard you sing or play an instrument, but I know you’d be wonderful in music.” You giggle and Shawn smiles at the sound. “The way you talked about it makes it seem like you’ve written some songs before? What kind of songs have you written?”

Shawn nods his head, “Yeah, I’ve written a lot actually. I got my first real guitar when I was thirteen, a gift from my mom after she saw how obsessed I was with music, and I’ve been writing ever since. A lot of them are random or not any good, but majority of them are love songs. Some based on experience or a friend’s experience.”

“You ever been in love before, Mendes?” A daring question, but there’s a part of you that wants to know if he has a special someone waiting for him, a girl who’s managed to look past Shawn Mendes and just see Shawn.

He nods and scrunches his nose a little. “True love? Just once I’d say. There was this girl I loved since since I was about sixteen-ish. I met her through a friend and genuinely thought she was the one for me. We dated for a few years after what felt like forever in the friend-zone, but we broke up a while ago. Turns out the person you fall in love with when your sixteen isn’t always the one you’re meant to be with forever, even if it feels like that when you’re dating. We just weren’t that perfect couple I always thought we’d be. No bad blood or anything, but there’s definitely no chance we’ll get back together again and that’s okay.”

“Damn, Shawn. If that’s how you talk about a relationship, I’d do anything to see how you write songs about one.” Shawn laughs at your comment and you can’t help but to join in with him.

“I’ll have to sing you a few sometime,” he whispers and you smile while tilting your head to the side, pushing your shoulder into the side of your cheek a bit, feeling giddy and in awe over this man. “Well, now that you know basically everything deeply personal about me, what about you? What gets you out of bed each morning? What inspires you to be the best version of yourself and keep going?”

When you woke up this morning, you never expected this to be the way you spent your new year’s eve. With a stranger you met probably not even an hour ago, trapped in an elevator in a hotel you’d only dreamed of staying in. It’s completely random, but somehow perfect nonetheless. Meeting a person like Shawn would typically have you walking in the other direction, wanting anything but a moment trapped with him. But getting to know him, the real him, not just what the magazines, tabloids, and stereotypes make him out to be, has been incredible and you are so grateful you were extremely wrong about him. So, you dive into a bit of your past; you tell Shawn about what you’ve dreamed of since you were little, the projects and goals you hope to accomplish, and the life you want to lead. Of course you only give him as much as he gave you, knowing all too well this won’t be the last you see of Shawn Mendes. Somehow, you can tell this man is going to be a big part of your life.

Time seems to fly as you and Shawn get wrapped up in each other’s stories and thoughts. Before you know it your phone is going off and you’re jolted back to the present. You grab it, wondering what in the world it can be, and gasp as you realize there’s just barely two minutes left until midnight. You set an alarm earlier to let you know when it got close to twelve o’clock, not knowing if there’d be something to tell you the time in the club, and thankfully you did because you and Shawn would’ve missed the start of the new year without it!

“It’s almost midnight,” you rush out to Shawn, turning your phone so he can see the time.

“Wow, already!? I hadn’t realized how much time had passed. Do you need to call your friends or anything?” You shake your head at him as the two of you stand up.

“No, both my friends left their phones in their room. I was the only one who brought their phone. I doubt they’d answer anyways, it’s so loud down there I don’t think they’d even hear it ring. What about you? You need to call your friends or anything?”

“Nah, when I left them it looked like they were just fine ringing in the year with their drinks and that group of girls.” The both of you laugh and Shawn shakes his head, having no trouble picturing what his two best friends Brian and Matt must look like right now with the other guys as the clock counts down.

You look down at your phone and realize there’s only a minute left until the new year starts.

“Sixty seconds,” you say as you hold up the phone between you and Shawn, watching as the red second hand inches closer and closer to the number twelve.

There’s a mere fifteen seconds left until the clock strikes midnight and you notice out of the corner of your eye that Shawn takes a step closer to you. You glance up at him and take a breath before deciding to make one of the biggest shots you’ve ever made.

“So about that new year’s kiss?” Shawn smirks as he looks into your eyes, loving how bold yet nervous you are right now. He peers over at the phone in your hand and his smirk turns into a large grin as the second hand passes over the twelve and 12:00 a.m. pops up on the top of your screen.

“Happy New Year.” Shawn reaches out and cups your face with his hands before leaning in and kissing you. You’re shocked but also you aren’t considering you literally asked for this, you just can’t believe he actually went through with it.

It’s as if yours and Shawn’s lips were two pieces of a puzzle you weren’t ever quite able to find the missing piece for. The way they mold together so effortlessly makes you never want to kiss anyone else but him. You don’t know where this relationship will go, if it’s even any kind of relationship at all, but you do know you don’t want this to stop and that it feels so damn good.

A satisfied hum escapes you and you just know Shawn can feel the flush on your cheeks as he continues to cup your face. He smiles against your lips and you’d do anything to always be able to feel that feeling for the rest of your life.

You slip your phone into your bag before stretching your arms up to wrap your hands around the back of Shawn’s neck. You run your fingers through his hair and dear god is it soft. Pulling on the edges of it a little, you feel a warmth spread throughout your belly as Shawn groans into your mouth. He removes one hand from your face and grasps your hip before lightly pushing you back against the wall. You’re flush against his chest and you allow one of your hands to travel down to the spot just under his neck where he has a few buttons of his shirt undone. You lightly tug on the necklace he’s wearing and somehow lean even closer into him than you already are.

The elevator seems to become very warm as you and Shawn take it upon yourselves to explore each other with your hands, finding yourselves to be completely lost and entranced with one another.

Shawn moves his lips from your mouth down to your neck and you really feel as if you’ve never felt something as good as this. Before you’re able to process what’s happening, Shawn’s lifting up one of your legs and wrapping it around his hip, allowing himself even more room to push closer to you.

You feel him move his hips forward and it takes everything in you not to yell out in pleasure as you feel him press up against you between your legs.

Wow, does this man know how to make a girl feel good-

A ding is heard and suddenly the doors to the elevator open. You turn your head and your eyes widen at the sight of a maintenance worker standing there with a look of shock on their face as they notice you and Shawn.

The two of you dart apart and quickly try to recover, but the worker’s already seen quite the show. Shawn clears his throat and you make sure you have everything before following him out of the elevator. As you pass by the worker you both give them your gratitude while trying to keep some dignity, but quickly rush off as soon as you can to avoid any more time in front of the worker and in that elevator you’ve been trapped in.

Shawn leads you down the hallway and you try your best to not get sidetracked by the art and details on the walls. It blows your mind every time you walk through these halls how intricate everything is. They sure didn’t spare any expense when building this place.

There's a a tug on your arm which causes you to stop and you realize Shawn's standing in front of a hotel door. Number twenty-two seventeen, just like he said earlier.

Shawn turns around and you suddenly feel like you have no idea what to do next. Did what happen in the elevator mean anything to him? Does he want you to forget it happened and leave? Sign an NDA and swear you'll never tell anyone what he's said?

"You wanna finally go test out that jacuzzi tub?" There's a coy smile on his lips and suddenly all your questions are answered.

You bite down on your lip to try and hold back your smile as you watch Shawn unlock the door and begin to lead you inside. Before you can fully step in, you pull back on his hand and he turns around to look at you as you realize you never got to say a certain something to him earlier in the elevator.

"Happy New Year, Shawn."

He smiles at you, then pulls you inside so the two of you can finish ringing in the new year together, just how you'd like it.

[ivejustseen]

A Movie: Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath!

Director: Eldar Ryazanov

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Medium: Friend’s House

Runtime: 184 minutes

Summary Review: Capturing a place you’ve never been.

To my readers who’ve experienced a snowy winter- have you ever listened to it? The way the wind whips more sharply through the streets, the crunch of snow that hasn’t been tread on too much, or the distant sounds of festivities on a New Years night?

A friend of mine this last holiday invited us to experience a Russian New Year. Or, at least, as close as one could get in Toronto, Canada. She told us about making far too much food for one night (intentionally), of friends coming over without knocking to celebrate for a brief moment before continuing on to another place, and of the celebration continuing late into the night and early into the morning. She also told us about a movie that her family, and many others in Russia, enjoy watching on New Years. That would be this film.

I, never one to oppose something new, happily obliged. I’d be lying if I said a three hour runtime for a romantic comedy wasn’t daunting at first, but I justified that I’d be there with friends; worst case I could focus on conversations instead of the film! A win-win.

What I didn’t expect, however, was for me to see a film that captures the holidays better than I’d ever seen it done before.

As I said in the opening, there’s a way the holidays feel when it snows. Everything is distant but close. You know that all around you there are family gatherings, friendly parties, and at worst, somebody who doesn’t have those things.

In this film’s three hour runtime, you experience all of it. Familial disagreements, friends at their worst and best, and romance in intoxicating silences, intimate songs played to each other, and boisterous misunderstandings.

Nothing about this feels contrived, if I’d seen this when I was young I could’ve sworn it was real. The characters in the film come and go, and they feel fleshed out and alive.

I’ve never been to Russia; a lot of me exposure to it’s culture is by proxy of a close friend of mine. It’s safe to say, for me at least, that there is some understanding conveyed of Russian people in watching this film. What we may perceive as rude in North America, the idea of people bursting into our homes in celebration at all hours of the night, is celebrated here. It’s shown in a way that makes you want to change traditions, at least once, and have people come and go throughout the night. To know so many, that you can’t celebrate in one place, seems nothing short of a social gift.

I look forward to the next New Year, when we do this all again. This film reminds you how much weight friends and romance carry in our lives; especially in the coldest time of the year.

This is a pure-hearted and honest celebration of the holidays, incidental romance, the people we keep close, and celebrating until the morning. I can’t recommend this enough.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

amazingly, we ended 2020 with triple the number of words of fic in this fandom that we had at the end of 2019. thank you to everyone who contributed to that and to all the readers who motivate fic writers to keep publishing!!

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1 - 3k words

Getting Out There by Januarium (rated G) Twenty-nine minutes after the agreed start time for the date, Patrick is aimlessly scrolling twitter—because isn’t it better to be annoyed at strangers instead of the woman who stood you up?—when a voice says, “Excuse me, are you Patrick Brewer?” [...]

grand gesture... by startswithhope (rated T) It had been David’s idea to host this little pre-holiday get together for their vendors and after Heather had offered up her farm for the venue, Patrick had been shooed out of the planning altogether. But of course, everything is perfect.

in the path of a possibility... by startswithhope (rated T) Sometimes you just have to ask the boy you like to dance and maybe he'll say yes.

Last Christmas by HolmesApothecary (rated T) Three Christmas Walks

On our way back home by upbeat (rated G) During their week-long separation, David gets drunk at a bar one night and calls Patrick for a ride home.

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3 - 5k words

finding you at christmas by dinnfameron (rated G) Patrick helps out at his parents' Christmas tree lot in the city every year. One night, a lost kid and a handsome stranger come along needing his help.

I Put A Spell On You by houdini74 (rated G) David is a witch who spends his days baking cupcakes and uses his magic to to help people find happiness until his life is turned upside down by the arrival of a very cute and very unhappy Patrick Brewer.

Mind if I Move in Closer? by JustWaiting23 (rated T) David and Patrick get hit by a spell from a well-meaning stranger, now David can only be warm when touching Patrick. Will this be the final push they need to admit their feelings to each other?

you’re here (where you should be) by singsongsung *Alexis/Ted* (rated M) Alexis takes a holiday trip to the Galapagos Islands.

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5 - 10k words

along for the ride by the_hodag (rated T) Unraveling someone else's grief can be complicated when they refuse to engage in anything more than idle road trip banter.

Drink a toast to innocence, Drink a toast to now by DesignatedGrape (rated T) David and Patrick meet one Christmas Eve in Toronto, and run into each other again three years later.

Hurt for the Holidays by missgeevious (rated T) David and Patrick meet by accident on Christmas Eve.

Pining For You by High-Seas-Swan (rated T) A new Christmas Tree stand arrives across from Rose Apothecary, and with it, pine needles. Everywhere. It's driving David crazy. As is the cute-but-rude lumberjack running the lot.

traveled down a road and back again by sonlali *Rachel-centric* (rated G) Five Christmases throughout Rachel's past that she spent with Patrick, plus one she spends together with Alexis at Patrick and David's cottage.

Where Every Stay Feels Like Home by MoreHuman (rated G) The Brewer family holiday wishlist: 1. Surprises 2. Escape rooms 3. Surprise escape rooms The Rose family holiday wishlist: 1. Getting the hell out of here

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10k+ words

All I Want, aka O Christmas Trope by Januarium (rated E) A festive fake dating!AU.

The Big Chill by swat117 (rated T) David Rose learns to thaw while being chilled. ❄️ A modern-day Ice Age AU. ❄️

A Cardamom Christmas by Lisamc21 (rated T) David is stressed about work and decides to check out the nearby Christmas market. He expects to find lunch and maybe a Christmas gift or two. He doesn't expect to meet a charming baker who dishes teasing quips as much as sweet treats. David returns to the market each day to get another taste of Patrick the baker.

Every Breath That Comes Before [series] by nameless_bliss (rated T & E) [Three fics where David thinks about Patrick eventually leaving him]

Good Winter by Distractivate (rated M) Patrick spends a week in January at his parents' fishing cabin, sorting through memories and trying to figure out if enough of his past remains to rebuild relationships with his family and Rachel, while not losing who he's become with David. David, of course, helps. A story about making peace with all the versions of yourself, inspired by Bon Iver's album For Emma, Forever Ago.

happy golden days of yore by blueink3 (rated E) “What are you doing here?” Patrick blinks beneath the toque shoved onto his head, steadily dripping melting snow from his coat onto the mat they once purchased together. “Um… it’s my weekend.” [...]

 A Holiday Escape by Lisamc21 (rated E) David needs to escape the stress of NYC and can't stomach another Rose family Christmas party, so he books an AirBNB for two weeks in Schitt's Creek. The town his family visited when he was a kid. The one true family vacation they'd had. He plans to spend two weeks drinking wine and soaking in a jacuzzi tub, but the cute guy renting the AirBNB derailed his relaxing plans.

If you’re looking for an ass to kiss by grapehyasynth (rated T) Everything's the same, except Patrick is already in town - and he's the mayor.

i’m your moonlight, you’re my star by doingthemost & singsongsung *Alexis/Twyla* (rated M) Twyla and Alexis spend the holidays together.

It’s My (Christmas) Party and I’ll Panic if I Want To by DelilahMcMuffin (rated T) It’s Christmas Eve and David wants nothing more than to spend the evening in Patrick’s room at Ray’s engaging in the kinds of activities that will get them on Santa’s Naughty List. But his dad has decided that he wants to throw a last minute Christmas party. And to top it all off, Patrick’s parents have shown up unexpectedly to surprise their son for the holidays. Oh, and in case that wasn’t enough, David discovers that Patrick has been keeping a pretty big secret. [...]

Just to Hold the Hands I Love by DesignatedGrape (rated T) As David peered out the window at the snow-covered neighborhood, his gaze landed on his own front lawn, which he shared with the townhouse next door. Oh. Oh, no. Sitting in the middle of the small yard, facing the street, was an honest-to-god snowman, complete with stick arms, red scarf, and plaid trapper hat, and holding some sort of sign. David rolled his eyes. His neighbor thought he was so funny.

Meet me out at the end of my rope by yourbuttervoicedbeau (rated E) What if more than one bombshell was dropped the day of Patrick's birthday — one they couldn't come back from?

Termites of Endearment by unfolded73 & vivianblakesunrisebay (rated E) After discovering the cottage has to be fumigated for termites, David and Patrick suffer a stressful day and an onslaught of memories when they have to spend the night at the motel.

there it is, beating away by blueink3 (rated T) David and Patrick befriend a single mom and her son. Well, Patrick does. David is still feeling things out.

Your Guide to Winter Trail Etiquette by middyblue (rated E) It’s not exactly a promising beginning to his New Year’s Eve ski trip weekend when David drops his bags on the couch of their little rented condo and Alexis’s new boyfriend, who’s wearing an ugly Christmas sweater almost a week after Christmas and crashing David’s plans, says in confusion, “Wait, but where’s Patrick going to sleep?” A story about things ending and things beginning, even if they come from somewhere unexpected.

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and finally, just in case you missed it and are interested, i put together a list of some of my fave fics of 2020 and a little recap of my own fics from the year. happy new year and happy reading, friends!! 💗

[taratarotgreene]

Big stress Astrology August 12- 18

Fasten your seat belts and prep for a stressful week ahead, because this is an off the charts week. Mercury is Retrograde in Virgo until the 14th so all Gemini and Virgo people and things that Gemini and Virgo represent will be scattered, difficult to track, misconstrued, etc. So please dont forget this. AUG, 14 MERCURY in VIRGO quincunx PLUTO at 0 Aquarius at 9:03 am EDT The mind and the…

[belovasangel]

Come Back to Me

Summary: Shawn missing big events leaves to beautiful memories and Christmas miracles

Pairing: Shawn x fem!Nurse!Reader

Warnings: swearing, light angst, fluff, flashback heavy, holiday feelings 

A/N: Yup. Surprise. Also flashbacks are in italics, per usual. Also I am not Canadian so I don’t know if y’all celebrate Remembrance Day. For the sake of this story, pretend that it’s the equivalent to Thanksgiving.

Shawn took your hand as you barreled down the sidewalk, laughs flying past you in the wind. Tonight had been a perfect date, something great to wrap the summer up, full of time alone with your favorite guy (and your favorite wine). He had been planning this for weeks now, and you can even remember him talking about this back in June when his tour had been announced. The pandemic put a damper on your two’s plans since March, but once the numbers started decreasing did he get calls from managers, and then... there was another world tour. You weren’t mad, music was his passion. Even though you two would be wrapped in each other’s arms after a lovely night, you could tell behind his eyes he longed to play the guitar for different cities. 

That’s why tonight was so important, because he started packing and planning, then he would leave on Wednesday for Prague. And of course, your job needed you in Toronto. While Canada hasn’t experienced any significantly alarming numbers, there were still cases rolling in. You insisted that Shawn goes on tour, so much that you had to pay for his first ticket yourself (he payed you back, though. He insisted). 

Shawn skidded to a stop, turning around and putting his hands on your shoulders. “Now promise me you’re gonna close your eyes, just for a few seconds.”

You huffed and shrugged your shoulders, “Shawn I’m out of breathe, you made me run in heels for about half a mile... Give me 5 minutes instead.” With a quick chuckle, he pecked your lips and turned you around. You heard his shuffling from those black boots he wears to rubble, then decided to look around. He somehow managed to find a quaint park, with a nice bubbling fountain and family’s scattered around. Dogs were running a lit in the distance, and the bustle of the city wasn’t nearly as booming as it usually is. This was nice.

“Okay, turn around.”

With a giggle, you turned around to see Shawn on one knee. Behind him was a tree strung with lights that were glowing, and underneath the tree was champagne and a radio playing your two’s song, Turning the Page (Yeah, we know it’s from Twilight, but that doesn’t stop it from being any less romantic). He was kneeled on a red and white picnic blanket, the typical one you’d see in catalogues for fall. On the blanket were rose petals scattered. 

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), you have changed my life for the better. The moment you saw me in the E.R., and had to take care of my broken hand, I knew you were just as kind and gentle as you looked. Once you let me in, and take you on that shitty first date, I got to see the real you. The you that cries during every Disney movie, the you that would bring me breakfast in bed when I had a rough day, the you that would rescue a damn pigeon off the street because it looked sad. You are the most sincere, selfless, and intelligent woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I don’t want ever want to stop or slow down. You have become my life and my rock, I’m completely lost without you. I am utterly in love with you, (Y/N). I want us to have a family, I want to make an album for you, and everything in between. Will you please marry me?”

You shuddered awake, looking quickly at your blaring alarm from the end table. Picking it up and turning it off, the time read 4:25 A.M., signaling it was time to get ready for work. You got up, and went to open the blinds to your bedroom, watching the snow fall steadily. Slipping on your socks and bathrobe, you shuffled to the kitchen to get a cup of tea brewing before you hit the shower. 

Mornings like this weren’t incredibly tough anymore, once Shawn was gone on tour. He face-timed you once a week because of tour, sent you letters and packages from your favorite cities, and even had roses delivered on your birthday. And of course, he always said, “Lemme see it. I wanna see you wear that pretty ring. There it is, there she is, soon-to-be Mrs. Mendes.”

Slipping in the hot shower, you played some of his songs, some of your regular playlists, and when you were throwing on your outfit, your two’s song. You missed Shawn. He had missed your two’s favorite holiday, Halloween, where you two always did the cheesy couple costumes. He missed your birthday, but he sent his family in place. He missed Remembrance Day, because in Europe that wasn’t a thing. And tomorrow is Christmas, where he has no sign of coming home whatsoever. That’s fine, though, because you took the long shift at the hospital.

When the song came to an end, you threw on your coat and snow boots, grabbing all the food and equipment you would need for a 12-hour and began to head out. Shawn sent you his daily vlog and you watched that on the shuttle. Once that was over, you got to the hospital where you would forget about your slightly more aching heart. After work, the routine would basically go in reverse. Commute home, get back into your pajama’s, drink some tea, get dinner, and go to bed, where you would have a restless night in an empty bed.

“When do you think we should have the wedding?”

Shawn looked over, a piece of popcorn hanging onto his lip like a lifeline. His cheeks were flushed and he still looked a little sweaty from the show he just played at TD Garden. He knew you were doing the planning to keep yourself from descending into madness (well, not entirely, but you only brought it up when you really missed him). “I think we should do a summer/fall sort of wedding, like when the leaves are red but it isn’t freezing by 5, ya know?”

You hummed in agreement, a smile picking at the corners of your mouth. “I completely agree. Do you want it to be outdoors then, because of the leaves?”

Shawn took another few things of popcorn from the bag and popped them into his swollen lips, he always licked them when he was frustrated by how a show went, or just when his mind was reeling. “I think we should get married outdoors, and then have the reception indoors. Kind of like-”

“Twilight...”

You both looked at the screen and snorted, sending both of you into fits of hysteria. “Shawn, we really base our relationship off of those books, didn’t we?” He looked over, licking his lips once again. “Explain, babe. I get a little bit, but our whole relationship?”

You shuffled in the bed a little bit, “Hear me out, Shawn-y boy. We met when you were hurt and I had to save you, or more-so your career. Edward saved Bella from the car, right? Right. So, there’s that. Then that girl who you worked on the album with tried to get you on the few dates, but that was long after we were official. Boom, Jacob plot line. Then you leave me for your first tour, which I get 100%, so don’t be upset over that. But the girl you worked with saw you kind of sad and made it her mission to befriend you and then attempt to change your mind over me... And our song is the one from their wedding, and we want an outdoors-y wedding.....”

Shawn looked at the screen, then back to the popcorn leaking butter in his hands. “Damn. So you’re saying that I’m Bella?” You began to shake your head, cheeks turning red. “Maybe I meant that wrong, but-”

“No, no you’re saying I’m Bella. Does that mean I get to wear the dress? I cannot wait to get married with no emotions and then have the ugliest CGI baby in the history of cinematics. Aren’t you so excited for that, my love?”

“Absolutely thrilled.”

The alarm on your phone blared once again, pulling you from Shawn. You picked up the phone, getting a few “Merry Christmas” texts from family and friends. You assumed Shawn was out partying with his crew mates, plus it must’ve been a busy day altogether. Turning off the alarm and standing, you pulled on the slippers and followed your routine again. 

Once it got to 6:07, and still no text from Shawn, you decided to call him. Immediately, you were sent to voicemail. With a sigh, you waited for voicemail.

“Hey bubs, Merry Christmas! I miss you more than ever, it’s snowing here pretty rough. I know you’d probably go outside right about now and insist to make a snowman or some angels, so that might be a mission for me after work. Um, I wanted to let you know that I love you so much, and I hope you’re having fun on tour... The apartment isn’t the same without you here, especially around this time. You’re probably having fun with your friends and I don’t wanna intrude on that, so I’ll hang up. I love you Shawn, be careful. Stay safe, come back to me soon. Bye.”

Wiping the tear that fell down your cheek, you stepped outside your apartment, hopped into the elevator and began the commute to your shift. You got to work on record time, beginning your patient rounds and vitals, then celebrating with the coworkers. Working 6:30 AM-9:30 PM would be a tough one, but whatever to keep you under that roof. Plus, double-time because of the holiday.

Once it hit 9:30, you booked it out of the hospital and onto the shuttle. Your eyes were barely open as you saw the texts from Shawn.

(Shawn) 7:59 AM: Hey babe, I’m so sorry I didn’t answer your call! I can’t wait to see your face tonight, you still up for FaceTime?

(Shawn) 9:26 AM: I bet you’re busy, but I’m gonna be in a few conferences and doing press so I won’t be able to talk for a while. Love you!

(Shawn) 3:14 PM: (Y/N) I don’t think we can FaceTime tonight, I have to do something for a fan and it’s really important. I am so sorry.

(Shawn) 8:44 PM: Are you mad at me or are you still working?

(Shawn) 9:32 PM: Something is waiting for you at home, it’s your gift. I hope this can make up for the call!

You hopped out of the shuttle, heart feeling extra heavy as you walked into the apartment. The string lights and streamers along the walls were taunting you as the elevator brought you to your floor, and you tried to compose yourself until you would get inside. Stepping up to your door, you looked for the present, to no avail.

(Y/N) 9:45 PM: Shawn I don’t see a package

(Shawn) 9:45 PM: Mom must’ve brought it inside, I’m sure it’s there.

With a huff, you shoved the key into the door, and walked inside. Chucking your purse and coat onto the hooks, while flinging off your shoes, you composed yourself enough to look for the package. If he got it express-shipped it had to be good. Checking the kitchen was no luck, and the living room looked normal. 

(Shawn) 9:48 PM: Bedroom, babe

With a gasp, you quickly buzzed to the bedroom, and laid your hand on the door. You stopped, hesitant to what was behind the door. What if it isn’t him? Taking a deep breath, you dismissed the negative thought and opened.

The room was filled with lit tea lights, rose petals on the bed and the floor, and Shawn. He was standing there in that chunky-white knit sweater you loved, with flushed cheeks and watery eyes, holding a bouquet of flowers, and your favorite song playing softly in the background.

You gasped, running into his arms with a squeal and sob, him mimicking the sound. He held onto the small of your back, and one hand on the back of your neck, and you felt his tears falling onto your skin. “I missed you so much, (Y/N). You don’t even know.” He pulled back slightly pressing his lips to yours in a soft embrace.

After a minute of kissing, you pulled back. “Merry Christmas, Shawn.”

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

[shadow-assassin-blix]

If I Can’t Have You

Will Miller x Reader/You

Song fic. Continuing the Shawn Mendes theme. Benny and Santi will come out this week hopefully. Uhh. This went a slightly different direction than what I had planned... Oh well. The song...sorta fits. It’s been an odd day writing this. Mentions of creepy stalkery dude. Shitty ex fiancé and terrible family. Mentions of nightmares/night terrors, nothing detailed just mentioned

Taglist: @mikeisthricedeceased​ (Let me know if ya wanna be tagged)

I'm in Toronto and I got this view

But I might as well be in a hotel room, yeah

Will Miller kept himself to a pretty precise schedule. He was not one to deviate from it. Numbers brought him comfort. The guys liked to tease him about it, but they also knew it was coping mechanism that Will developed while they were enlisted. It was an odd habit, true, but numbers were something he could always rely on.

Currently, it was 7:00pm on a Friday night, and he was at his usual bar, having his usual drink. He wasn’t usually one to stick around for more than one drink. But this night, something changed. He noticed you, when you took a seat near him. Usually, he doesn’t pay attention to the women who walk in, but something in your demeanor caught his eye.

He noticed your hands were shaky and you were glancing over your shoulder a lot.

His gaze slowly drifted toward where you were looking and he noticed a guy outside, looking around.

“Are you okay?” He quietly asked, trying not to startle you.

You glanced at him, slightly jumping, and whispered, “That guy has been following me for 10 minutes.”

He frowned at that, and slowly moved to the seat next to her. “Pretend you know me, or that we’re dating. I’ll wait with you until he’s gone. The name’s Will by the way.”

You tell him your name and felt strangely safe next to this stranger. Maybe it was the way that he spoke, his voice slightly gravelly. Or maybe it was the way that he positioned himself to hide you and keep you out of sight of the door.

He sat with you for well over an hour, just talking. He even walked you back to your car, which was a good 10 blocks over.

“You walked this far from your car to get away from that guy?” He asked concerned.

“Kinda. I was about 3 blocks away from it when I noticed him, and I diverted my path. Didn’t think I would get stalked, would’ve worn better shoes,” You lightly joked looking down at your high heels.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” He apologized as they stopped next to your car.

“Umm. I hope this isn’t inappropriate but uhh… can I get your number? Ya know… in case I need protection again?” You shyly asked with a small smile.

Will chuckled and nodded his head. They exchanged numbers and parted ways.

It doesn't matter 'cause I'm so consumed

Spending all my nights reading texts from you

It’s been well over 2 months since that time, and the two of you have texted each a lot. Flirting has been heavy, and you even had a couple of dates together. Will felt extremely content and he felt happy. His brother, who noticed just how much happier Will has been acting and has been trying to get Will to spill the beans for weeks. Benny even got Frankie and Santi in on the investigation.

Will was able to hold them off for a time. That is… until one night. You had gone a date and wound up back at his place for some… extracurricular activities. It was about 2am and the both of you were passed out when you heard a phone ringing.

You reached out blindly, to answer it, thinking it was your phone.

“Hello?” Your voice was hoarse from earlier.

“Umm. Hello sexy voice, where’s Will?” Came a teasing voice.

Your eyes widen in mild horror as you jerked the phone away to look at the caller ID: Pope.

But the horror washed away as you noticed the time.

“Pope? Is this a life-or-death situation?” You calmly asked once your put the phone back to your ear.

“Uhh. No?” He answered hesitantly.

“Then call back at normal hours,” You told him hanging up.

When you told Will about it in the morning he laughed. Especially when the guys asked about Sexy Voice and when they were going to meet you. He shook his head at them and told he’d introduced you when he was ready to.

I'm so sorry that my timing's off

But I can't move on if we're still gonna talk

It happened slowly. You’ve been together now almost 7 months. Will wasn’t talking to you as much. He honestly sounded exhausted every time you spoke. When you did see him, you could tell he hadn’t slept much. You tried to subtly ask what was wrong and he would simply wave it off.

Will wouldn’t admit it, but he was having nightmares. Nightmares about his tours. Nightmares about you. About not being to save you. He knew his nightmares often led to night terrors and he didn’t want you to see that. He didn’t want to risk hurting you fighting off invisible demons.

This led to arguments… over everything. One day, he went to go for a run to cool down after yet another argument. You looked at his phone, biting your lip. You had yet to meet his brother or his friends, but you needed to understand what was going on.

You looked for Benny in his contacts and gave him a call on your phone.

“Hi… is this… is this Benny Miller?” You asked hesitantly hoping this was the right number.

“Yeah. Who’s this?” Came a hyper voice.

You introduced yourself, mentioning you were Will’s girlfriend.

“Oh. OH! Sexy Voice. How you doin’? Why ya callin me sweetness?” He asked excitedly.

You quickly explain what’s been going on, and Benny listened intently.

“He.. he has nightmares… and sometimes they become night terrors. If he’s acting like that, then it’s because he’s scared he’s going to hurt you. So… he’s trying to push you away to protect you,” Benny slowly explained.

“…that idiot,” You muttered softly. “Excuse me. I have to go knock some sense into your brother when he gets back.”

“Good luck, maybe next time we can speak in person, yeah?” Benny offered with a laugh.

“Sounds good to me. Bye,” You hung up, and began to pace, trying to figure out what you were going to say.

Is it wrong for me to not want half?

I want all of you, all the strings attached

Will returned from his run 40 minutes later. He berated himself the entire time. The argument was so stupid he didn’t even know what it was over. He did know… he owed you an apology. As he walked inside, he noticed that you had bought Chinese food and had it set up on the coffee table. There was a glass of wine and a beer waiting as well.

He looked around for you and saw you standing in the kitchen, getting utensils out.

“Hi,” You greeted simply.

You set the utensils down before walking over to him. You stood in front of him, arms crossed.

“I’m tired of fighting. I… I talked to Benny. He told me you have nightmares. Night terrors even. Why… why didn’t you say anything?” You asked wanting to understand.

He looked down at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Because… you didn’t sign up to be with a man who has PTSD and could harm you while he slept,” He confessed quietly.

“Strange… cause.. I feel like I did. I want to be with you. The good, the bad. I’m with you cause I like all of you. Not… parts of you. You told me early on some of the issues you’ve had while back in civilian life. We’ve been together for seven months baby. If I wasn’t all in, I would have left quite some time ago,” You assured him as you stepped closer, placing your hands on his chest.

“I just don’t you to regret being with me,” Will admitted as his hands took hold of yours.

“I won’t. Let’s go eat, yeah? Also… may have promised to meet your brother soon,” You stated with a smile.

Oh, I'm good at keepin' my distance

I know that you're the feelin' I'm missing

You’ve been together a year now, and you finally met Benny, Santi, and Frankie. They are all such dorks, but you can tell they love each other. It made you a bit envious to see their makeshift family. You yourself, hadn’t spoken to your family in years. You had cut ties with them long ago. Will asked about it, but you could never bring yourself to explain it.

It was the holidays, and you were trying to grin and bear it. It didn’t help that your family was blowing up your phone left and right with 100 messages on facebook. Then there was the invitation to the family get together that came in the mail. Will watched as you stare at it blankly before ripping it to pieces. He didn’t ask about it as you then came over to him and curled up in his lap. He just held you close.

Later that night, as the two of you laid in bed, you told him what happened.

“I was engaged… and my sister… slept with my would-be husband… on the day of our wedding,” You began. “And… everyone was strangely surprised when I called off the wedding. Acting like I should’ve been okay with it??”

“Wow,” He said lowly, surprised.

“I threw the antique jewelry and rings he gave me into Boston Harbor, blocked everyone who gave me shit for it, and moved as far away as I could. That’s… that’s how I wound here. Was looking for a fresh start… well. Another fresh start. I moved several times trying to get away from my family. I figured here… no one would look for me. Got a job. Met you. I’m happy,” You further explained sighing a few times.

“I’m glad I make you happy especially cause you make me happy too. How about… we spend Christmas away from here? Go wherever you want?” Will offered turning on his side to look at you.

“Really? So… if I said Italy? We’d go?” You asked excitedly.

Will reaches over and grabs his phone. A few texts and phone calls later, he declared, “We leave the 20th, and we will be back by the 29th. Enough time to be back for New Years. Benny would never forgive us if we missed his annual party.”

You squealed happily and kissed him.

You know that I hate to admit it

But everything means nothin' if I can't have you

A few weeks later found the two of you in a hotel, in Italy. It was Christmas Eve, and you were watching Christmas movies, eating junk food. Halfway through White Christmas, your phone went off. You looked down to see it was your sister trying to video call you on facebook. You paused the movie, situating yourself so Will wasn’t in the frame just yet, before you answered.

“What do you want?” You asked not caring if you sounded rude.

“Wow. So testy. You’re not still mad about me sleeping with Derek, are you?” Your sister asked smugly.

“No. I’m not. But you’re ruining my Christmas Eve with your presence. What do you want?” You asked again unimpressed.

You could hear your parents ask who your sister was talking to and you hear one of them tell her to put you on the big screen. You rolled your eyes and plastered a fake smile as the screen switched to show you the entire family in the living room.

“Hey sweetie! We miss you, why didn’t you come down to see us?” Came your mom’s voice.

“I made other plans. Why does it matter? You haven’t asked me to a family get together in years. Why should I drop everything for this one event?” You questioned rolling your eyes.

You picked up a chocolate covered pretzel and was eating it when you heard a voice tell you, “Really shouldn’t be eating that. It’ll make you fat.”

Your eyes slowly looked at the screen and you spotted him.

“Derek. I see you haven’t crawled back into the sewer you came from. And I will eat whatever the hell I want,” You snarled at him, wishing he was in front of you so you could strangle him.

“Derek and Lydia are getting married. That’s why we wanted you to come. To get over this tiff between you guys,” Your mother chimed in.

You stared at them in disbelief. You looked at Will your eyebrow raised and mouthing ‘are they for real?’ Will was trying not to laugh.

“Can’t. I’m in Italy. So. Too bad. I hope you two are miserable together,” You wished with a bitter smile.

“Italy? Yeah right. I’d bet you are home, alone, pigging out on food to make yourself feel better,” Your sister, Lydia, assumed acting very conceited.

You then gently, turned the camera to show off your view to the right which had the Colosseum in the distance. Then turned it to the left to show off Will, who gave a small wave.

“Uh huh. Buh-bye,” You ended the call as soon as you saw the looks of shock.

The two of you looked at each other and began to laugh. You continued your evening without any more interruptions.

I'm trying to move on

Forget you, but I hold on

Everything means nothing

You two get home with very little issue. You got ready for Benny’s New Years Eve party and were stacking up presents and food in Will’s truck when someone tapped you on your shoulder. You turned around and were horrified to see Derek standing there.

“What the hell do you want? How did you even find me? Why are you here, you creep?” You fired off questions left and right as panic grew.

“Got the address from your parents when they mailed you the invite. Listen. I just want to talk. That’s it,” Derek tried to explain.

Will at that point, walked out with the last of the presents and such. He looked at Derek, then at you. He quietly put the items in the truck. Then stood in front of you.

“You have exactly 10 seconds, to get back into your car and drive away,” Will warned, arms crossed as he glared at Derek.

“This has nothing to do with you, move,” Derek demanded trying to push Will out of the way.

Will didn’t even budge. He stood there, quietly counting. When he reached zero, precisely at the exact moment Derek tried to throw a punch at him, he sighed. Will grabbed the fist that came at him, and quickly threw a right hook out. The punch knocked Derek to the ground. Police were called, and when Derek tried to claim he was assaulted, Will pointed out the security camera that he had installed. Followed by the video that showed Derek escalated the situation. Derek was arrested and you and Will continued to the party.

I can't write one song that's not about you

Can't drink without thinkin' about you

Will pulled up to Benny’s place and asked you if you were okay. You nodded your head, pressing a kiss to his lips, thanking him.

You made your way up to the party, and after explaining what happened, the boys began trying to distract you and make you laugh by telling stories. Frankie asked at one point if you would like to hold his daughter because “She can make anyone smile.”

You said sure and was currently talking gibberish with her.

Will kept an eye on you as he took a drink, while Santi checked to make sure he didn’t bust his hand.

“That prick really showed up at your house? He’s lucky you weren’t armed,” Santi noted with disgust.

“I didn’t mention this to her, but the cop told me he had warrants out on him for stalking and harassment. He won’t be bothering her again for a long time,” Will informed him as he took drained the last of his beer.

“Good. She’s a good one, don’t mess it up yeah?” Santi joked, hitting him on the chest.

“Think it’s too soon to ask her to marry me?” He murmured to him.

“If you don’t, I will,” Santi dared him.

Will shook his head at Santi, who was urging him forward.

Will quietly picked up Frankie’s baby girl and whispered to her, “You can come back to her in a moment. I gotta borrow her.”

Will takes you outside to the balcony.

“You..uh. You havin fun baby?” He asked awkwardly.

“Yeah… what’s up? You’re acting odd,” You noted staring at him confused.

“Listen. I know we’ve only been together a year… and I love you… a lot… You consume my thoughts. I’m crazy for you… So, I was wondering… will you marry me?” He asked stumbling over his words.

You stared at him surprised. Biting your lip, you give your answer, “Yes. On the condition that the engagement is a long one, and we don’t rush anything.”

“I can deal with that, beautiful,” Will accepted the condition with a relieved sigh. “I haven’t gotten a ring yet, but I wanted you to know… that I’m in this for the long haul. You mean everything to me.”

The two of you kissed and broke apart, laughing, as you hear the cheers coming from inside.

“I’m all in if you are?” Will asked in a whisper.

“My life was going nowhere fast, then I met you, and my life got significantly better. So, yeah. I’m all in,” You whispered back.

The two of you headed inside to enjoy the party. Neither of you expected your lives to lead to this but neither of you would change a thing. The two of you founded each other when you both needed it, and that’s all that matters now.

Is it too late to tell you that

Everything means nothing if I can't have you?

[the-fiction-witch]

December 24th: all alone

MOVIE MAZE RUNNER AU

COUPLE NEWT X READER

RATING CUTE

I sighed sitting on the sofa with a beer in my hand watching some old Christmas movie playing on the TV, when Minho came out his room and sat on the arm of the sofa close to me

"So newt, where you headed for the holidays?" He asked

"I'm here" I shrug

"What?" He asks

"Sonya's off to aris' this year, my parents are off back to London so... I'm staying here" I explain

"Aww that sucks man, well I'm off with Brenda see you nee year" he says grabbing his stuff and heading out

"Your really staying here?" Thomas asks from the bathroom as he packed his washbag

"Yes Tommy" I laughed "where are you off to?"

"Toronto with Teresa and her family for Christmas" he says coming out and sorting his suitcases "you sure you'll be okay... All by yourself?"

"I'll be fine Tommy" I nodded before he left room leaving me alone in our little uni flat.

Its been a couple of days now, mostly been living off beer, take out till I smelt something, that cinnoman, caramel, chocolate Scent of Christmas it was coming from the open balcony Door so I opened it more stepping out onto the metal snow covered balcony the smell intensified as I did. I looked around for the source but I couldn't find one till I looked down and saw the flat under me, the table full of cookies, and cakes, and pies just the sight made my stomach growl. But them I saw something else, a girl she must have been my age I was sure I had seen her around campus before, she came out her flat with another tray this one full of chocolate chip cookies setting them on the table with the others, she was beautiful and... Very busty but that might be the angle I'm at, she had a red dress and a red and white spotted apron on humming a Christmas tune I lent over a little more wanting to see her more as well as get a closer look at those cookies when she looked up.

She jumped surprised to see me there,

"Uhhhhhh hi" I blushed

"Hello" she smiled "what are you doing up there?"

"I live up here" I shrug

"I assumed I meant why are you stareing onto my balcony?" She asks

"Ohhh, well..." I began "could I have a cookie?"

"Ohh of course" she smiled getting the chair from her furniture and the tray of chocolate cookies, she stood on the chair and offered me one so I happily took it

"Thanks, you got a big party or something tonight?" I asked

"No, the mixes where reduced in the store I'm just bored" she smiled as I took a bite

"Bloody hell, this is amazing" I told her

"Thank you" she laughs "that's very sweet of you to say"

"Its true, so uhh... You all alone too?" I asked and she nods "well if uhh... If it's not to forward I could come down, I have beer and some Chinese food?"

"I'd like that" she smiled blowing me a little kiss

[richardlawson]

Night Moves

My parents sold their house. The house they bought before my sister and I were born, in that weird slip of time I’m told was the late 1970s. They’re moving to Providence, city of my father’s birth, and a place where a modest condo can be bought, for two people facing next and (yes, we all must admit) maybe final chapters. Over the 4th of July holiday, I spent a teary two nights in the house, going wandering in Boston with a friend and then, just as it was time to leave for the train, taking last passes through the small expanse of the place. I cried. I made myself cry? I don’t know if the tears were real or forced or if forced tears aren’t actually real. But I did. Almost wept. My mom pulled the car out of the driveway and there was my dad, good old Dad, walking the dog up the hill, the last time I’d ever see that. I blubbed, discretely, until my mom asked me a question and then it was hard to hide. “It’s just a building,” she said, which is what I’d told myself, what my therapist had told me. It’s just a building. Just a thing that teemed with all the stuff of our lives for 40 years. And now it’s not.

The day before this goodbye, my family and I went to a wedding. My cousin’s kid got married, an assemblage of people I’d not seen in at least 20 years. It was held at a country club south of the city, and was full of that kind of straight wedding swagger I hate so much—is there no worse sight in the world than groomsmen in suits clutching bottles of beer? That effortful commitment to male casualness amidst the formalness? It speaks to such an ease, the way these men move through the world, that my sister and I were repulsed by it. During the wedding, a long and violent thunderstorm rolled in. But just before that, my family and I wandered the grounds of the country club, walked along the ridge of a hill that offered a view of the city, the whole of Boston laid out there in the hazy, humid distance. The four of us there, lined up and regarding it. It felt like a maudlin farewell. To this city we’ve all been so tethered to, just then rendered so small, so faraway. 

I traveled a lot this summer, more than I had planned. I went to Provincetown for a few nights, my new favorite place, and felt the mid-June thrill of all that. I went to Los Angeles, mostly for work—a grinding reporting assignment that has yet to bear fruit but still could be something good, I hope—but also to see my sister. She’s so good at day trips, feeling so blessed with a car, and we drove up to Ojai, spent a late morning and early afternoon in its clenching, clean heat. We hiked a short distance to a waterfall, where barefoot kids were laughing and dogs were shuffling around. We went into town, roaming an outdoor used bookstore where I searched for my own book and, as ever, came up short. I’d heard so much about Ojai and, while finding it beautiful, was surprised by how little it offered. “You have to be rich to enjoy it,” I said to my sister as we got back in her car and, sealed up in the air conditioning, drove back to the city. 

In Los Angeles, I spent a lot of time holed up in my hotel, a once-trendy place on the Sunset Strip that has a thumping pool club and is just the right amount of uncomfortable to feel cool. It’s a full-service place, so I could take my meals there, do drinks on the patio, barely leave the confines of it. I went a little crazy, swaddled up in the gray blanket of that place—its easy, healthy-ish, sour food, its lukewarm sauvignon blanc mood. I felt like I was there for a whole long Shining winter, growing a beard and going insane and locating some truer kernel of myself than I’d ever known existed. I let myself skitter out into the night on occasion, to see friends and revel, just a bit, in the riot of a city I hate. (I’m sorry, L.A. friends. I have tried so hard to like Los Angeles, but it makes me so stressed and unhappy and full of constant Sunday Scaries that I have to hate it. That said, I can’t wait to visit again.) But mostly I was alone, conducting halting interviews on the phone, pacing around in my cold room while tall trees fluttered in the balcony window. One uneasy afternoon, I watched a bug crawl around the enormous beanbag chair the hotel provided and figured it knew what to do with this lump of furniture more than I did. 

I just got back from Fire Island, another place I have tried to love and—unlike L.A.—might finally be done with. What a dream of an idea that place is, and yet in execution, or at least in my admittedly narrow experience of it, what a drab and horny and exhausting thing it actually is. I don’t fit in there at all, which is a strange sensation for someone who has prided himself on being able to adapt, to quickly recover, to renegotiate physical and social spaces as needed. Fire Island, the Pines in particular, is a bridge past a bridge too far, I’m afraid. Not because I don’t admire its moxie, its Speedo tan-ness, its louche, buggy reverie. I love that people love it. I just feel sad that Fire Island is something like Paris—a beautiful dream I’ll never be able to actually step into, that I’ll never feel filling me like air, like smoke. (I Juul now—another life update.) But it’s good to have that conclusion—to know, because of increasing adulthood and experience, that it, hey, just isn’t for me. I wish it the best. I wanted to blow a kiss to the island as the ferry puttered away back toward Sayville. Goodbye, place! Goodbye, dream! Goodbye all you wonderful people who partied and yearned and grieved and fucked and fell in love there. See you in Ptown, maybe. All you lively ghosts, living and dead.

Fall trips loom. Film festivals, which are so much fun. I’m going to Venice for the first time, next week, and I am so stressed and excited and curious. I booked an Airbnb that’s not near the movies, that’s on the main island with all the canals and handsome gondoliers and luring, leering pasta. (My Fire Island diet nearly killed me, readers.) I chose holistic life experience over festival ease in booking that place and I hope I don’t regret it. And then it’s straight on to Toronto, a festival I love, a town I am growing to like, with people I know and with whom I’m so ready to pretend it’s summer camp again. Fall camp. Autumn camp. What a good time that will be.

But it will keep me away. I’ve been away so much this year, which has been exhilarating—I gave an award out on stage at a loud gay discotheque in Guadalajara, Mexico!—but also lonely, and denying. The thing I’ve sort of stylistically held for the end here is that I fell in love this year, and while it’s a new-ish, only nine-month relationship (“We have a baby,” I said to Andrew tonight), it’s still a totalizing thing. It’s impossible to look at all of this—parents moving, cities roiling, islands churning—not through the lens of that. How terrifically grounded I have felt this year, to something good and happy and intimate and huge in its smallness. This is the first time I’ve really written about him—a scientist, a smiler, a kind and gentle person who calms me and encourages me—and it feels a little scary to type it out. But there he is, suddenly a center. 

When I was home over the 4th, my mom told my sister and me a story about our cousin, the one whose kid got married at the country club. I guess when this cousin was little, a toddler maybe, she would often say, “I need something.” Just that. That quiet little unspecific thing. “I need something,” she’d say in a small voice, tugging at pant legs and looking up at the adults hoping they’d understand and satisfy whatever it was she was asking for. I’ve thought about that a lot since my mom told us about it, there in the backyard I’ll never see again. I need something. I need something! I NEED SOMETHING! 

Of course we all do. Need something. Need so many things. I get corny, thinking about it. I want to say what a mad and blissful and terrible adventure it is, to go chasing after that need. It is. But, again, that’s hokey. So I guess I’ll just end this ramble with a little moment, from Fire Island. I went to bed early one night, and was half asleep when some of the boys of tea came home. I heard them rumbling around upstairs in the living room, muffled laughter and bottles opening. It reminded me of being a kid in the house I grew up in, that will now be lived in by a nice family from Framingham who wrote a heartening letter to my parents about how much they loved the house. That feeling of life happening just beyond the light under the door. And maybe it is. But in that room on Fire Island that night, there was also the beautiful dark, also the hum of the air conditioner, the whine of the mosquito, and there was me, breathing and blinking and alive. That was so much, too. 

[shes-soparticular]

Darling, So it Goes

You take Shawn home for an American Thanksgiving. Your childhood bedroom gets more than it bargained for.

Warning(s): Heavy Smut.

A/N: A little fluff, a little smut. SlightlyOlder!Reader.

Words: 4440

It took months of begging, but you finally succumbed to your mother’s plea to make a trip home for Thanksgiving. You hadn’t been back to your hometown since your move to Toronto at the beginning of the year and you had to admit the nostalgia of an old-fashioned American holiday had gotten the best of you. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see your family, it was your apprehension about bringing your boyfriend home. They’d met Shawn before, sure, but always on your terms and while on their best behavior. You knew the atmosphere wouldn’t be quite the same once everyone was wine drunk around the dinner table, delving into political arguments and dredging up stories of your youthful fuckups. Not to mention, you’d never really brought anyone home before despite being well into your mid-twenties. There was no telling what kind of awkward, prying questions your mom might ask, what offensive jokes your dad would inflict, or the droning on of your older brother and dead stares from your sister-in-law. You chastised yourself internally for thinking of your family so negatively, but you just really, REALLY needed this holiday to go off without a hitch. Mostly for your own sanity. You knew deep down you had nothing to worry about – Shawn’s Canadian manners would dazzle everyone and he’d be a good sport about their neurotic behavior. But you still held your breath all the way through the pumpkin pie, until you could finally sneak off to your childhood bedroom with Shawn in tow.

You’d tried your hardest to book a hotel room for the weekend but after receiving the catholic guilt trip of the century from your mother, you begrudgingly agreed to stay with them. As you flipped on the light, you instantly felt regret churning in your stomach along with the turkey. The bright lavender walls, the stuffed animals arranged meticulously on your canopy bed, the numerous photos of every awkward stage you ever went through tacked to the walls. Jesus, the plastic glow in the dark stars were even still stuck to the ceiling after twenty plus years. Without needing to look at him, you already knew Shawn had the biggest smirk on his face. He was going to eat this up.

“So…this is…words escape me.” He brushes past you to pick up a Care Bear off your bed, taunting you with it. ShareBear looked so strange in Shawn’s tattooed grip, an odd juxtaposition of two things that brought you the most comfort. Granted, ShareBear really didn’t succeed at keeping you warm late at night.

“Give me that,” You say with a huff, reaching out to wrangle the bear away from him, tossing it unceremoniously on the floor. Throwing yourself on to your bed, you grimace at the squeaking of the springs. This was certainly mid-western “roughing it” at its most cliché. At some point you had become accustomed to the plush beds and obscenely high thread counts of high-end hotels. You’d become so spoiled that just the sight of your pill-y Beauty and the Beast sheets and bleach stained bath towels made you cringe. It also crossed your mind that you DEFINITELY weren’t sleeping in Disney sheets in high school and that your mother specifically chose those as a very rude, but very creative cockblocking measure. While you got to work kicking all of your stuffed animals off the bed, Shawn wandered about your room on his own. Quietly studying the photos of your middle school birthday parties, the saved movie stubs and concert tickets still stuck to your mirror, the participation trophies from JV volleyball. Suddenly, you felt a little vulnerable. When Shawn was in high school, he was already playing stadium tours with the likes of Taylor Swift. In your high school days, you were mostly consumed with binge watching Gossip Girl and eating raw cookie dough with your girlfriends. You had an exceedingly mediocre high school career and it felt glaringly evident as you saw your bedroom through Shawn’s eyes. “You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

“Knowing you, it’s not what I was expecting. You were so…innocent.” He turns so that you can see his bemused expression. “I mean who is this girl? I don’t think I know her.”

“Open the closet. Back right corner. Cardboard box marked “books”.” You point him in the right direction, already grinning to yourself knowing what he’ll find there. Shawn quickly unearths the box, carrying it to your bed to dump out the contents. As you expected, a half empty bottle of Sailor Jerry’s rolls out, along with several ancient, unsmoked joints, and a few other odds and ends you’d stashed away. While you reach for one of the joints, his fingers snatch something else out of the pile.

“Is this a cherry flavored condom? You hate cherry.” If he looked bemused before, he looks downright delighted now.

“Hence it being in the pile, my love. Who in the world wants a dick to taste like cough medicine?” You hop off the bed, a joint and matchbook in hand, headed for your window. “All of the strawberry ones, on the other hand, are long gone.”

His eyebrows raise comically high and you can only imagine what he’s picturing in that moment. You know you shouldn’t be leading him to believe you were some unapologetic slut in high school, considering that’s fairly far from the truth, but messing with his head is your all-time favorite hobby. Considering there’s nothing else to do with the rest of the night, he won’t be getting a break from your mind games. Lighting up the joint, you take a long, satisfying drag, blowing the smoke out into the black night sky. You pass it to him while he continues to absent mindedly tour your room like it’s an ancient antiquities gallery at the Met.

“Who’s this loser?” You glance over to see Shawn holding a polaroid of you and a short-lived high school boyfriend. A guy you’re pretty sure still works the concession stand at the local movie theater and never stopped scamming on underage chicks.

“Ohhhh, Chad, what a blast from the past.” You snatch the photo from his hand, giving it a faux adoring look. “He fingerbanged me in a McDonald’s parking lot, it was the worst.”

“You’re telling me you were a freak even back then, eh?” His smirk is growing by the second, pulling open your underwear drawer to peruse all of the embarrassing cotton panties plastered with Victoria’s Secret Pink logos and phrases. The way the joint is dangling from his lips causes a familiar stir between your legs, but you quickly remind yourself that your parents room is right across the hall.

“It was prom. Everyone gets romantic on prom night.” You shrug your shoulders with an eyeroll, plucking the joint from his lips. Looking him in the eyes while you inhale, you rise on to your tip toes and pull his face towards yours to bridge the absurd height difference. Holding the smoke in your mouth momentarily, you press your lips to his softly, letting the smoke drift from your tongue to his. Shawn groans into your mouth, deepening the kiss and casually backing you towards your double bed. But the night is young and you wriggle out of his grasp before your back can hit those Beauty and the Beast sheets. “A guy pays for your limo, you throw him a fingerbang.”

“I’ve been in several limos with you and there have been zero parking lot fingerbangs.” He looks genuinely disappointed, as if you haven’t straight up fucked him in one of said limos. However, his expression changes as he holds up a pair of green panties with the words “Irish Boys Only” written across the ass. “Oh really? I beg to differ.” Balling them up in his hands, he tosses them overhand into the small waste basket across the room. “That’s where those belong.”

“Hey! I could have worn those to Niall’s next show.” You’re already laughing before you can finish the sentence, knowing you’re playing with fire by making such a statement. Shawn pretends not to hear you, but conveniently steps over to the waste basket to ash the spent joint over the discarded panties. Throwing you a heated glance in the process, eyes narrowed but still bright. He turns his attention back to your closet, thumbing through all of the old clothes that still hadn’t made it to Goodwill. When his fingers stop on a mass of pale pink tulle, you pray he’ll keep moving right along. Instead, he hands the joint back to you once more and reaches in to liberate the dress from the depths of your closet. You swear that monstrosity hasn’t seen the light of day since that McDonald’s parking lot.

“Oh god, I DARE you to put this on.” A deep chuckle escapes him, thanks in part to the weed, and he reaches out to grab your hip. “I can’t explain it, but I need to see you in this dress. It just. I can’t. Look at this thing!” No, you don’t know what you were thinking when you bought that dress. The strapless, fitted bodice has far, far too many rhinestones and the tulle skirt is obnoxiously large. It almost has a “Cinderella dressed by a Drag Queen” vibe and your cheeks go a little red just looking at it. Normally you’d refuse, but you’re just high enough, just content enough, that you’re willing to put on that hideous dress just to let your boyfriend have a laugh. He made it through an American Thanksgiving with your family, so if this is the least you can do to make his night, it’s worth it.

“Fine.” You throw him a pout as a last-ditch effort, but he stands firm. As the slightest bit of vengeance, you take your time peeling off your sweater and shimmying out of your jeans. “You’re going to have to help me with this demon, you know.” You reach out to unzip the back of the dress and then stand up straight in just your bra and panties, arms held up in the air, motioning for him to lower the dress on top of you. He obliges, despite a bit of difficulty, and your arms and head eventually clear the mess of tulle. You pull the bodice in place, adjusting your breasts into the right placement and then turn around. “Zip me up, please.” His fingertips are tentative against the zipper, his thumb brushing over the exposed skin at the small of your back and sending shivers up your spine. It seems to take an achingly long time, but he finally drags the zipper all the way up, hands dropping to your waist to slowly turn you around.

              “Let me see you, baby.” You’re not sure exactly how or why, but the energy in the room has markedly changed. It’s like by osmosis this dress delivered all of the nervous, tentative feelings you associated with being a teenage girl. Despite the yards of fabric, you felt naked under his gaze. His deep brown eyes traveled the length of you, his lips parted ever so slightly. Clearly, you’re not the only one being oddly affected by this dress. “You look…damn, I don’t know. This is making me weirdly soft?” He runs a hand through his hair, blowing out a deep breath as if you’re standing in front of him clad in dirty French lingerie rather than a Quinceañera reject. “Come here.” His strong hands pull you against him, moving up your sides and lifting your arms to bring them up over his shoulders. “Dance with me?”

              You’re about to comment on the fact that there’s no music and maybe move to grab your phone and find a song, but before you can give it a moment’s thought, his hands are back on your waist, his forehead pressed against yours. Ever so softly, he starts humming the familiar tune of Can’t Help Falling in Love, knowing full well what that song does to you. Your body just about melts into him as he starts singing the words into your ear, the two of you swaying in the middle of your lavender walled bedroom. All at once your heart feels as though it’s going to burst out of your chest, your rib cage incapable of suppressing the unnatural amount of love you have for this man. You must have been a saint in a past life, there’s no other way of explaining how you could be so fucking lucky. It’s nearly impossible for you to let him finish the song, your lips making a trail across his jaw before you finally rest your head in the crook of his neck. You would have never pictured this moment, would have never considered doing anything with that dress other than burning it, but here you are. And you swear you’ve never been more in love.

              As he finishes the song, you can’t decide whether you’re desperate to hear more of that beautiful voice or desperate to have his lips on yours. Instead, you leave it up to him to decide and aren’t entirely shocked when his lips meet yours. His kiss is balanced between tenderness and urgency, deeply reminiscent of the first kiss you two shared what feels like a lifetime ago. That’s what’s so surreal about standing in this bedroom, in this dress, talking about a time before Shawn. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, it’s hard for you to feel connected to a time in your life before he was a part of it. You certainly weren’t the type of woman to judge your entire existence by a man, but you could at least admit to yourself (and to the entire world, if they really wanted to know) that you weren’t fully yourself until you had him by your side. The way he’s cradling you in his arms now, you know the feeling is mutual. Barely breaking the kiss, he sighs against your lips, “You really do look gorgeous in this dress.” Your cheeks blush a deep red, as if you’re hearing this from your middle school crush rather than a man that’s seen every inch of your body a few thousand times. “And you know what else?”

You finally pull away to look up into his eyes, that signature curl falling forward onto his forehead. “Hmmm?”

He raises his hands to tuck your hair behind your ears, thumbs brushing against your cheeks. “You deserved to have been made love to that night.” You don’t break your gaze, but you’re pretty fucking surprised your knees haven’t totally given out. It’s hard to believe that these words, these delicate touches, are coming from the same man that made you listen to him burp the alphabet the day before and sometimes insisted on doggy style so he could watch the Maple Leafs highlights. You almost don’t notice one hand dropping from your face to linger on the zipper to your dress. “May I?”

              You’re absolutely speechless, so a nod must suffice. He unzips the dress almost as slowly as he’d zipped it up not long before, taking his time, making you wait. As soon as the dress has fallen into a pink pool at your feet, he picks you up in one fell swoop, laying you gently on the bed that had been covered in stuffed animals not long before. He’s not far behind, hovering over you carefully, the springs of your bed whining in protest at the combined weight of your bodies. You ignore the sound and pull his face to yours anyways, alternating between slow, lingering kisses and the needier, hungrier variety. Oddly, as though you really have regressed to being teenaged again, you could absolutely settle for just an all-night makeout session. There’s something so intoxicating about the taste of his mouth and the feeling of his solid chest pressing against yours, you just never want that feeling to end. Of course, the fire between your legs vehemently disagrees with that sentiment, aching to be touched and filled in every possible way. As always, he manages to read your body (i.e. the way your hips keep arching into his seeking friction) and he responds in kind. His lips start making their descent down your throat, grazing across your collarbone, only stopping briefly at the top of the cups of your bra to rid you of the offending garment. Just as he’s about to take a nipple into his mouth, you stop him. “Your shirt. Can you take it off?” You’re itching for skin to skin contact, the pleading tone evident in your voice. Sitting up briefly, he pulls the henley over his head, your eyes immediately glued to his abs as they appear before you. Instinctively, your right hand slips down your stomach to touch yourself at the sight of him, but he catches your hand at the last possible second.

“Let me take care of you, honey,” He chuckles, knowing all too well how impatient you get. Kissing the back of your hand, he pins it above your head, resuming his pathway down your body. The warmth of his tongue encases your nipple, followed by the grazing of his teeth. It elicits a moan out of you, loud enough that you can barely hear his hushed voice. “Babe, you can’t be loud.” There’s a severity in his voice but you can see the smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He lives to drive you wild, and even if he doesn’t want to clue your family in on what he’s doing to you, he can’t help but be satisfied with drawing those noises out of you. Seemingly in direct opposition to his warning, his fingers find their way under your panties, pulling them aside and running up and down your already slick folds and teasing your clit. It’s nearly impossible for you to keep your mouth shut, but somehow you manage, keeping it to a quiet gasp as his first finger enters you. You’re already wondering how the hell you’re going to stay quiet as his finger curls upwards inside of you, when you feel his tongue begin to trace your clit, adding insult to injury. Gritting your teeth, you swear you can feel him smiling against your pussy, already smug with how you’re coming undone before he’s really gotten started. You’re about to protest when he removes his finger, but he quickly replaces it with two, pumping them into you slowly, stretching you in preparation of what’s to come. His mouth continues its assault on your clit, alternating between gentle licks and sucking until your eyes roll back in your head. You’ve never talked about it, but you’re fairly certain he has a habit of tracing his name on your clit. His full name. Over and over. It isn’t long before you can feel your orgasm building, your throat almost burning as you try to stifle your moans. He holds your hips to the bed, his biceps bulging with the effort to keep your bucking at bay. While he may be able to squat 300lbs, he’s almost no match for your hips when his tongue is ravaging your clit that way. When it’s clear you can’t hold on any longer, he presses his fingers against that sacred place inside of you and ruthlessly sucks your clit, hard, until you come so hard your legs spasm and you have to bury your face into your pillow to stop from screaming out. Deviously, he flattens his tongue with one last lick as you start to come back down, causing a shudder to run through your entire body. Chest heaving, you glance down at him, shaking your head. “You’re such an asshole.” But the enormous, satisfied grin on your face contradicts your admonishment. “Get up here.” You crook your finger in a come-hither motion, already pulling at his arms to coax him back up your body. Ready to roll him over so that you can return the favor, he stops and pins your hands behind your head once more.

“You know how much I love that smart mouth of yours, but right now? I’m dying to be inside you.” Part of you wants to argue, wants the opportunity to showcase your own oral talents, but you can’t exactly deny that you’re equally as anxious to have him buried deep in your core. So instead, you nod a little too enthusiastically and frantically reach for his jeans. It’s a bit difficult to get rid of them, considering he’s already grinding into you and not allowing you much room to work with, but somehow you’re able to free him from all clothing. He manages to kick off his jeans and Calvins on to the pile of your discarded stuffed animals, quickly pulling your panties down to join them. Once again, you shamefully feel like a horny teenager, unable to keep your hormones in check. Surprisingly, he manages the restraint to slow down for a moment, one hand coming up to rest under your head. He gives you a long look, as though he’s trying to memorize your face in that moment, the placement of every freckle, the shape of your swollen lips, the dazed, post-orgasm look in your eyes. Pressing his forehead against yours, your lips barely brush. “I’m so in love with you. In case you didn’t know.” As you lift your chin to kiss him, you feel the slow, satisfying burn of him entering you. You have to swallow a moan as he inches his way inside, stopping only when he’d bottomed out. He stills for a moment, allowing you to adjust, before setting a slow and steady pace.

Raising your legs to wrap around him, you let one hand tangle in his hair while whispering sweet words of admiration and encouragement in his ear. “God, you make me feel so good. So, so, so good.” These words urge him to increase his pace ever so slightly, but your childhood bed immediately objects, squeaking with all of its might. He freezes on top of you, using every ounce of strength not to return right back to his thrusts. “It’s okay, it’s okay. We just have to go slow.” He takes a deep breath and nods in agreement, returning to his former pace, trying to be as slow and deliberate as he can to appease your mattress. Several minutes pass as you grind into one another carefully, the friction still immensely gratifying. Regardless, you need more, you need to feel him pounding into you the way only he can. “Fuck this. Carpet?”

“Oh god, thank you,” He sighs in relief, picking you up without pulling out of you. Placing you carefully on the carpeted floor, he instantly plunges into you with the speed you’re both craving. Not expecting this, you cry out his name without thinking. This time he doesn’t stop his movements, but he does bring up a hand to cover your mouth. “If you do that, it defeats the purpose of us being on the floor.” Nevertheless, he thrusts directly into your g spot, knowing full well you’re not going to be able to keep your composure when he does that. Rather than letting out another cry, you stop yourself by sinking your teeth right into the swallow tattoo on the hand covering your mouth. Not hard enough to draw blood or leave a lasting mark, just enough to teach him a lesson. However, the joke is on you as the bite only spurs him on, his hips driving into yours with renewed energy.

Incidentally, you’ve reached a point of such reckless abandon that you don’t care who hears you. You couldn’t care less whether your screams woke up the entire family, or the entire neighborhood for that matter. Your parents could have easily let you stay in a hotel as you’d begged to. So truthfully, they were getting what they bargained for. What did they expect from their adult daughter and her fucking underwear model boyfriend? There was no way a noisy mattress and Beauty and the Beast sheets were ever going to stop you two from finding an opportunity to bang. Chanting Shawn’s name, quietly at first but growing louder, you dig your nails into his back hoping that will somehow stop you from full on shouting. You can tell by the way the veins in his biceps are pulsing and the set of his jaw that he’s not going to be able to hold out much longer. Needing release for both of you, he brings his thumb to your clit, massaging it in quick circles until he feels the telltale sign of your orgasm as your walls contract violently around him. That’s more than enough to bring his release, as your name falls from his lips with one long moan as he fills you. Weak, he lets himself collapse on top of you, still twitching inside of you as your sweaty chests heave together, desperate for air. Once you’ve both had a chance to breathe, you pull him in for a long, appreciative kiss. “I’m so in love with you too, in case you didn’t know.” He smiles against your lips, returning the kiss until you both hear someone shutting the bathroom door down the hallway.

“I’m not going to be invited back after this, am I?” He laughs quietly, reluctantly moving off of you and breaking your connection. Carefully, he pulls you up off the floor, taking a minute to inspect the rug burns on your back. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry, does it hurt?” As he gingerly runs his fingers down your reddened back, you try to hide a wince.

“It was worth it, trust me.” You reassure him with one more loving kiss before taking his hand to pull him back into bed with you. “And yes, you’ll be invited back. They know we’re a package deal now. They can’t deny that you make me very, very happy.” Curling up together in those old, scratchy sheets and looking upwards to the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, you can’t help but feel overwhelmingly thankful. Completely exhausted, you snuggle into his chest, letting out one last yawn as you prepare for sleep to overtake you.

“Babe?” You assumed he’d already fallen asleep, but you manage to let out a hum to let him know you’re still listening. “I think I love American Thanksgiving.” You can’t help but giggle softly into his chest, giving him a soft love bite.

“Oh yeah? Just wait until Fourth of July…”

tagging @fourtristattoos for boyfriend!week

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Year-End Roundup (Sort of)

Sorry for the long absence, guys. I didn’t realize I had left comments on. Oops. My bad.

I ended my last post with a breezy “enoy the tranwreck” comment. Was I right, or what? I didn’t even expect this much of a trainwreck. The Megster has really taken a beating lately. Kudos to Talking Tarot and the rest of readers for getting so much stuff right. I spent my whole break reading her blog and saying to myself “nah, Thomas won’t come back” (yes, he did and he had pot stories!) and “no way, they won’t allow a big reveal during Christmas” (hello, emails about her pot wedding favors!).

It’s been quite a whirlwind, but hasn’t it also been a tad repetitive? Am I the only one experiencing déjà vu here?

Let’s go back to November 2016. Meghan leaked her royal relationship with a Camilla Tominey article and a now-infamous spooning bananas pic then instantly launched into a massive press campaign with leaked articles to US Weekly et. al.

The first stories leaked were about her double dates with Eugenie and Jack. LOL, doesn’t that sound unlikely now? Anyhow, that was one of the follow-up stories leaked to Camilla Tominey to try to establish Meghan as part of the royal circle. It would be followed by tons of stories about her supposed friendship with Eugenie and Jack. Eugenie was even credited (or blamed?) as the Harkle matchmaker. She supposedly felt that Meghan was “the perfect match” for Harry and the double dates were said to prove that Meghan “had been welcomed to the royal fold.” This is hilarious in retrospect.

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/729176/Prince-Harry-Meghan-Markle-Toronto-Princess-Eugenie-Jack-Brooksbank

Anyhow, this year we are getting a new foursome—with George and Amal Clooney. No one knew Meghan was friends with Eugenie back in 2016 just like one knew Harry was besties with George in 2018.  

https://www.eonline.com/news/962129/the-truth-about-prince-harry-and-meghan-markle-s-friendship-with-george-and-amal-clooney

Then we started getting the family meets. In November 4, US Weekly revealed that Meghan had met PC at Harry’s birthday party. According to her Insta Meghan was in NY at the time, but whatevs.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/meghan-markle-met-prince-charles-at-prince-harrys-birthday-party-w448534/

On November 14, 2016 US Weekly broke the news that Meghan had met Prince William.  She and Harry had just caused a scandal with the KP statement, but Meghan supposedly got along “famously” with William regardless.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/prince-harry-introduced-meghan-markle-to-prince-william-w450375/

Then on January 10, 2017, Meghan supposedly met Kate and gave her the infamous “dream diary.”  Weird since she was supposedly going to yoga in Toronto that week.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2616388/prince-harry-introduces-meghan-markle-to-kate-middleton-at-kensington-palace-as-relationship-hots-up/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4112778/A-spring-step-Meghan-Markle-steps-yoga-class-Toronto-romantic-getaway-Prince-Harry-Northern-Lights.html

Oh gad, I just realized that was after the supposed trip to Norway to camp out in sub-zero weather and watch the Northern Lights. “Close friend” Inge Solhein supposedly arranged it. Did he even make it into the wedding invite list? I don’t remember.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2554966/prince-harry-whisked-girlfriend-meghan-markle-off-on-first-holiday-together-to-see-the-northern-lights/

This stuff sounded fake as hell back then and it sounds even more improbably now. I can’t picture these two in a secluded cabin surrounded by snow. Soho House parties are more their style.

LOL, US Weekly was promising “more adventure trips.” 

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/meghan-markle-prince-harry-chilling-in-london-together-w461317/

Nope, not happening, although Harry is desperately trying to resurrect his “Hero Harry? rep by over-hyping a ceremonial  “Reindeer Games” Norway appearance.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6559185/Prince-Harry-join-thousand-elite-commandos-huge-wargames-Norway.html

Poor Chris Ship was stuck backtracking those claims.

https://www.itv.com/news/2019-01-05/prince-harry-marines-norway-exercise/

But I digress. The point is, she’s doing the same “family meets” strategy now, just with top-tier celebs instead of royals. First George and Amal in early August. Then Lin-Manuel at the end of the month.

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g22861877/prince-harry-meghan-markle-hamilton-sentebale-gala-2018-photos/

Then Michelle Obama, (power metting? LOLOLOLOL) and Adele in December.

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a25393254/meghan-markle-met-michelle-obama/

https://people.com/royals/meghan-markle-prince-harry-adele-visit-community-kitchen/

Rosamund Pike.

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a25469891/meghan-markle-british-fashion-awards-photo-booth/

And, of course, the Beckhams.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6559169/Can-Meghan-Markle-save-Poshs-troubled-fashion-empire-Duchess-wears-dress-act-solidarity.html

Same strategy. In 2016 she used it to create the illusion that she was in the royal circle , and now she’s using it to insert herself into the top-tier celebrity circle.

She was using clothes to send messages back then (Barbour and wellies, dog sweater, Mulberry bags, Burberry shoes, and he message was invariably “I love Britain.” Now she’s using clothes again (Serena Williams jacket, Gillian Anderson coat, Victoria Beckham everything) and the message is “I love celebrity.”  And, of course, there’s merching, merching, marching to the max. Who would have thought that we would see a royal using the Christmas walk to very obviously sell clothes. Well, we just did and the DM is not shy about saying so.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6559169/Can-Meghan-Markle-save-Poshs-troubled-fashion-empire-Duchess-wears-dress-act-solidarity.html

She wore Harry’s cap to assert her royal connection and now she’s re-wearing her Today Show clothes to re-assert her Hollywood persona.

https://www.today.com/style/meghan-markle-attends-christmas-lunch-dress-she-wore-today-t145559

And obscure royal reporter started championing on November 2016 (Omid Scobie) and now an obscure/mewly-hatched NBC royal reporter (Keir Simmons) is doing the same.

She was leaking crazy James Bond stories to attach herself to a UK icon in 2016 and now she’s leaking fake Suits offers to project herself back into Hollywood.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6561985/Meghan-Markle-return-TV-drama-Suits-one-episode.html

I got a lot of asks during hiatus asking me about my take on this and that. My take is, this girl is GONE. She is out the door ASAP. She’ll push the brf for as much press and goodies as she can (US tour, HRH for the bump, National Theater), just as she did with her old NBC bosses, but that’s just window dressing. She wants out and she’s already working on it, using the same strategies she used before.

Why not? It worked once already.

I know it sounds crazy because it’s so fast, but this woman moves at hyperspeed and look at the differences between the last two Christmases. Christmas 2017 was Meghan looking demure in her poo hat and Kate-approved Sentaler coat, greeting people like she was already part of the family. Their “plant” back then was a military widow with a teddy bear that Harry “recognized.” It was a typical royal encounter that made her look like the eager “team player” Harry had said she would be.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/12/25/meghan-markle-join-royal-family-sandringham-christmas-morning/

This Christmas she was dressed in celeb-friendly Victoria Beckham and the “plant” was an old Instagram fan.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6529067/Touching-moment-Meghan-hugs-Instagram-fan-17-recognised-crowd-Sandringham.html

This would have been a clear throwback to her old life even if Meghan hadn’t let the cat out of the bag by accidentally reactivating her old IG while setting all of this up.

https://www.eonline.com/news/997728/here-s-why-meghan-markle-s-instagram-mysteriously-reactivated

You have to admire Meghan’s tenacity. A lesser celeb would have cancelled the meet after the IG went live, but not Megs. She forged again. Fortune favors the bold, or so they say.

So that’s her theme for 2017: “I’m a Star.” 

I mean, she quoted Oprah’s guru at the Straubenzee memorial! Because if supposedly “sums up the spirit of what [the fund] does to empower young children.” WTH? That little reading said it all.

https://people.com/royals/meghan-markle-prince-harry-attend-christmas-carol-service/

I loved this quote. It’s so her. Somehow she manages to make every single charity event all about her. The speech about her college tuitions, the banana bread, the Marianne Williamson quotes, the bellycupping...everything ends up being about her. I thought this was just narcissism, but it’s more extreme than that. She truly think she’s “liberating others” by endlessly promoting her “presence.” 

This is her big charity project: herself. This woman is hilarious. I can’t wait to see what she does this year. I think she’s beginning to realize that her ambitions are incompatible with her position and that the hole she has dug for herself gets deeper and deeper every day. Her dad’s now writing a book and her friends are selling their emails to the Sun. There isn’t enough popcorn in the world for this stuff. 

 https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/12/inside-the-meghan-markle-family-breakdown-thomas-samantha-markle

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6533983/Meghan-Markle-boasted-friends-giving-marijuana-guests-wedding-Jamaica.html

https://www.laineygossip.com/uk-sun-desperately-depicts-meghan-markle-as-a-weed-smoking-threat/51604

DM has to top this now, don’t they? They can’t let the Sun out-scoop them like this. Look at this cover!

C’mon DM, you are not going to trump this with a bunch of whiny Thomas interview, even if they come with hospital bills. You have to level up now.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6475167/Meghans-father-Thomas-Markle-reveals-sweet-cards-proof-did-wedding.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6560683/Thomas-Markle-accuses-Prince-Harry-arrogance.html

https://blindgossip.com/daddy-wants-cash/

I doubt she’s missing her old Hollywood life (which wasn’t all that, tbh), but I bet she’s now picturing a grander, post-royal Hollywood existence, weighing whether it would be better than what she has now, and plotting baby steps to get it. Nothing big yet--After all, she could still get the US tour and the HRH for the bump, and there’s still a chance that the baby will be a game-changer for her, as Lainey and Celebitchy keep saying, and she will be able to be the celebrity royal she wants to be--just baby steps tat will get her there. 

Gad, did you all see how happy she was during the fashion awards? She was over the moon with joy. That's what she wants--the spotlight, the applause, the stiff-armed celebs.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8001556/meghan-markle-security-british-fashion-awards/

She’s not getting that from her little royal walkabouts or from the National Theatre patronage she’s desperately lobbying for, and she’s going to want more.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6561091/Has-Queen-handed-Meghan-Markle-role-patron-National-Theatre.html

How do you guys feel about National Theatre? I think it will end up in naught, just like Doria’s Christmas invite. I suspect the royals don’t think Meghan’s acting is something they want to highlight. They likely want to focus on Meghan’s university education, ethnic background, and past “empowerment.” I also doubt the National Theatre is all that enthusiastic about it. They are all Shakespeare and Tartuffe and it’s a bit of a comedown for them to have a Deal or No Deal patron, isn't it? 

Meghan’s arguing she can fundraise in America, but I dunno. I just don’t see the snotty NT backers falling over themselves to throw money at a cable actress. 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8129907/meghan-markle-patron-of-national-theatre-the-queen/

https://www.celebitchy.com/604974/duchess_meghan_will_likely_take_over_the_queens_national_theatre_patronage/

She desperately wants it, though. LOL, only a year ago she was saying she wanted to leave acting to concentrate on the humanitarian causes she was “passionate” about and now it’s all fashion awards and acting patronages.  

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/meghan-markle-leaving-acting_n_5a1d726fe4b071403b291a35

https://blindgossip.com/appalling-frustrating-and-embarrassing/

So that’s my take on it. This girl is gone, gone, gone, and the next few months are going to look at lot like early 2017 with the brf playing the part of NBC/Suits and the celerity industrial complex playing the part of the brf. She’ll have a big charity project in January/February (that she will milk for the rest of the year) in lieu of her menstruation work, a celeb baby shower in lieu of the Jamaica wedding, and the bump’s christening in lieu of the Middleton wedding. Also, tons of racism accusations against everyone who dares report on her past. It’s going to be 2016-2017 all over again.

Enjoy the trainwreck.