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[thewisecheerio]

The historical record proves that people have always been weird.

I started reading a bestiary originally published in 1608 on Serpents, only to be met with the following information regarding dragons: 1) Dragons love wilde Lettice, but cannot abide apples, and 2) ye olde Rule 34 jumpscare dragon/human porn. From 1608.

They greatly preserve their health (as Aristotle affirmeth) by eating of wilde Lettice, for that they make them to vomit, and cast forth of their stomach whatsoever meat offendeth them, and they are most specially offended by eating of Apples, for their bodies are much subject to be filled with winde, and therefore they never eat Apples, but first they eat wilde Lettice. Their sight also (as Plutarch saith) doth many times grow weak and feeble, and therefore they renew and recover the same again by rubbing their eyes against Fennel, or else by eating of it. (Page 706)

There was a Dragon the lover of Aetholis(?) (as Plutarch writeth) who came unto her every night, and did her body no harm, but gently sliding over her, played with her till morning, then also would he depart away assoon as light appeared, that he might not be espyed. The Maidens friends came to the knowledge hereof, and so removed her far away, to the intent the Dragon might come no more at her: and thus they remained asunder a great while, the Dragon earnestly seeking for the Maiden, wandered far and neer to finde her out. At last he met with her, and not saluting her gently as he was wont, flew upon her, binding her hands down with the spire of his body, hissing softly in her face, and beating gently with his tail her back-parts, as it were taking a moderate revenge upon her, for the neglect of his love by her long absence. (page 709)

There is also a section on scorpion necromancy, which includes a line implying that spitting on them will kill them if you are thirsty enough:

By touch of Hen-bane they lie dead and overcome, but if one touch them again with white Ellebore, they revive, and are released from their former stupefaction. It is also said that the leaves of water-mallowes do also astonish Scorpions, and so also doth the Radish-root. The Sea-crab with Basil in her mouth destroyeth the Scorpion, and so doth Tunicle and Mushroom of trees. To conclude, the spittle of a man is death unto Scorpions; and therefore when a certain fellow took upon him to be a cunning Charmer, and by incantation to kill a Scorpion, he added to the words of his Charm a treble spitting in the mouth of the Serpent, and so it dyed: whereupon Wolphius which was present, and saw this Charmer, did afterward by himself alone at home, make triall of spittle without a Charm, and so found that it alone killeth Scorpions, especially the spittle of a man fasting, or very thirsty. Moreover, there be certian Lands wherein no Scorpions will live, as that about Clupea in Africk, and the dust of the Island Gaulus neer Cercina, being sprinkled upon a Scorpion, doth incontinently kill it. ANd so much also writeth Hermolaus, of the Region Galatha. (Page 755)

Getting stung in the lower half of your body will produce an erection, while being stung in the upper half will produce symptoms of cold and heat and "slimy" tears. (By the way, the first part can actually happen, it's just not exclusive to lower-half body stings!)

...But yet (as we have already said) there is a difference of the pain, according to the difference of the Scorpion that stingeth. If a man be stung in the lower part of his body, instantly followeth the extension of his virile member, and the swelling thereof: but if in the upper part, then is the person affected with cold, and the place smitten is as if it were burned, his countenance or face distorted, glewish spots about the eyes, and the tears viscous and slimy, hardnesse of the articles, falling down of the fundament, and a continuall desire to egestion, foaming at the mouth, coughing, convulsions of the brain, and drawing the face backward, the hair stands upright, palenesse goeth over all the body, and a continuall pricking like the pricking of needles. (Page 756)

There is also a section on sea serpents that seems to depict reports of oceanic cryptids:

There be also in the Swevian Ocean or Balthick sea, Serpents of thirty or forty foot in length, whose picture is thus described, as it was taken by Olaus Magnus, and he further writeth, that these do never harm any man untill they be provoked. [Photo] The same Author also expresseth likewise the figure of another Serpent, of a hundred and twenty foot long, appearing now and then upon the coasts of Norway, very dangerous and hurtfull to the Sea-men in calms and still weather, for they lift up themselves above the hatches, and suddenly catch a man in their mouths, and so draw him into the Sea out of the Ship: and many times they overthrow in the water a laden Vessel of great quantity, with all the wares therein contained. And sometimes also they set up such a spire above the water, that a Boat or little Bark without sayls may passe through the same. And thus much for the Sea-serpents. (Page 761)

You can find the entire manuscript here at the Internet Archive in its 1658 collected works form, which contains both bestiaries on four-footed creatures from 1607 and serpents from 1608:

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