#top ten posts that drive me fucking insane.

[astonmartinii]

big reputation part two | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader

a new season dawns but that doesn't mean we don't have a map to our buried hatchets

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI? | PART ONE

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 3,221,783 others

charles_leclerc: ferrari has been home for as long as i can remember, even before i joined the academy, the dream of driving for ferrari gave me a purpose. i am heartbroken it hasn't worked out, but formula one is, at the end of the day, a selfish sport and i have to think about my real goal here: to win a championship. ferrari has an amazing history, but that is what it is history. in the four years i have been here i haven't seen the drive and ambition to be as ruthless and as complete as they were with michael and with kimi. therefore i have to leave. it hurts me to leave the tifosi, but know you're always in my heart and i will always hold dear your support. grazie regazzi essere ferrari ❤️

view all comments

user3: i knew it was coming but HOLY FUCK CHARLIE COME HOME

user4: tifosi lecfosi YES SIR

user5: for real i'm down for him not that clown team

yourusername: i'm proud of you charlie, i knew how much this took. but you have to put yourself first at some point. i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you too. i'm sorry i can't stop crying

yourusername: no i love that you are so passionate. it's been a long season and you're finally allowed to let it all out

charles_leclerc: can we go to a rage room?

yourusername: FUCK YEA

maxverstappen1: pretty please may i join. i have a lot of rage. call it teammate bonding?

charles_leclerc: give me a tow in bahrain quali?

maxverstappen1: fine (NO ONE SCREENSHOT THIS OR HOLD ME TO IT)

yourusername: at least this one i don't mind having to third wheel us

user6: the SHADE that's mother right there

user7: trying to stay insanely normal over the fact that max, charles and y/n are besties

pierregasly: congrats calmar, HOWEVER, i though i was your favourite third wheel 🥰

yourusername: but you bring kika ??? how can you third wheel if kika is there? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO COUNT?

charles_leclerc: thank you pear i love you brother

user8: i love how this is some super sentimental post and y/n is asking pierre if he can count i hope they never change

landonorris: max as fave third wheel ??? @alexalbon @georgerussll63 twitch quartet erasure

yourusername: womp womp

alexalbon: WOMP WOMP?

charles_leclerc: guys i'm sad about leaving my dream team where is the compassion?

georgerussell63: yeah boo hoo there are bigger things at play here I DID NOT SIT THROUGH YOUR TEN HOUR MELTDOWN ON AN APPROPRIATE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY GIFT NOT TO BE TOP THIRD WHEEL

yourusername: you fools really will argue about anything huh

landonorris: this is the sanctity of our friendship on the line here

user9: the grid was really like YOU might be sad about leave ferrari but we ain't

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,421,455 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: holibobs with sharlie

view all comments

user10: i love as soon as the season finishes charles becomes THEE instagram boyf

user11: j.peg account? no. just taking photos of y/n? YES.

charles_leclerc: i have an eye for beauty

yourusername: heheheheheheehehehehehee

alexalbon: so he can use a camera? why does he only take 0.5s of me?

yourusername: the best angle for your big ol dome

alexalbon: EXCUSE ME ?

yourusername: yeah sorry that was a bit far

alexalbon: it's like you got off the ferrari leash and now we all have to suffer

yourusername: WELP

charles_leclerc: ma belle, the only one i'll actually listen to and put sun cream on

yourusername: yes you will because we...

charles_leclerc: put spf on everyday !!

yourusername: yes! because...

charles_leclerc: we're scared of aging?

yourusername: no?

charles_leclerc: we want to be safe 👍

maxverstappen1: you guys done with the kindergarten reading lessons?

yourusername: have you seen lobster leclerc? this kind of work needed to be done

user12: lobster leclerc? goodbye, goodbye, goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky

user13: see now i'm confused cause why are some papers saying that they're breaking up? or that charles is embarrassed by the way y/n acts?

user14: bestie we've been through this DON'T TRUST THOSE HOES - TRUST THESE HOES

liked by yourusername

user15: unless i see it from the horse's mouth I WILL NEVER BELIEVE THEY'VE BROKEN UP

redbullracing

liked by yourusername, christianhorner and 882,339 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1

redbullracing: charles the qualifying king takes his first pole position for red bull in his first race and is joined by max for a front row lockout

view all comments

user18: UNWELL

user19: suck on that ferrari xoxo

user20: *rubs eyes* is that... max being happy to be challenged by a teammate ???

user21: winning three championships really takes the heat off huh

yourusername: THAT'S MY MAN YALL

charles_leclerc: love you baby

yourusername: love you too darling

maxverstappen1: love you three 🫶

yourusername: this is not the problem i thought we'd have when coming to red bull

maxverstappen1: my gf can't make most of the races so you WILL deal with me

user22: max being clingy to charles and y/n is so fucking funny to me

user23: sainz not making it out of q1? shwartzman only making it to q2 but still out qualifying carlos? charles looking sexy in blue? EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST CHARLES LECLERC SHALL FALL

christianhorner: mega job boys, let's keep our eyes on tomorrow

maxverstappen1: tell them they have to let me come to dinner with them

christianhorner: isn't this the exact reason we rehired daniel

charles_leclerc: PLEASE MAKE DANIEL COME TO THE NEXT RACE

maxverstappen1: erm rude

charles_leclerc: i'm sorry i'm not used to a teammate that actually wants to be friends for real

yourusername: EXCEPT SEB WE LOVE SEB

yourusername: but for real max emilian i am monitoring the dutch papers... be very careful

user24: healthy teammate relationships (for now) ??? is this what heaven is like

user25: are you telling me that if max doesn't get the lead in the first lap he might actually HELP charles .... a certain spanish individual could never

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,778,451 others

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc: wow !! a 1 - 2 in our first race i couldn't be happier. this car is a dream to drive and i'm so grateful to red bull for being so welcoming. teamwork makes the dream work

view all comments

user26: tears in my eyes

user27: okay i understand both of them are like with their forever partners but lestappen is also real TWO THINGS CAN EXIST AT ONCE

yourusername: SHARLIE OMG YOU TALENTED, TALENTED KING

charles_leclerc: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

yourusername: crying sesh. sharlie's drivers room @ 8. bring your own alcohol and tissues

charles_leclerc: just to make sure everyone knows THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS

landonorris: SAP ALERT GET IT TOGETHER MAN

yourusername: i know lando no-wins ain't talking rn 🤨

charles_leclerc: you walked into that one buddy

landonorris: just because i'm friends with carlos doesn't mean you have to come after me like him ...

this comment has been deleted

yourusername: bold... real bold. you're lucky i'm doing meditation and yoga (and that i want to make a good impression on christian)

alexalbon: lando do NOT look at the text she just sent your your ego CANNOT take it

user28: no no no do spill... i need the ammo if he ever takes out my fave

user29: true i need it for the next time either of the ugly twins at ferrari open their gobs

oscarpiastri: it was brutal. they need to get y/n to host the reading challenge on drag race

yourusername: oscar knows drag race?

oscarpiastri: i might be an athlete but i'm not completely uncultured

maxverstappen1: if we're talking being cultured... GET READY FOR YOUR FIRST RED BULL PARTY

yourusername: born ready my university years singlehandedly financed your 'catering budget'

charles_leclerc: no really i think she's actually addicted to the tropical one

maxverstappen1: are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? IT WAS YOU WHO DRANK ALL OF THEM

yourusername: and what?

maxverstappen1: idk i'm still kinda scared of you

user30: the way charles deflected the questions about fred and sainz ? WE'RE FREEEEEEEEE

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,311,723 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: i wanna be your end game <3

view all comments

user32: you guys better be end game or like you're paying for my therapy

user33: i respect her dedication to go to every race, make ferrari staff tremble in fear and pull LOOKS

charles_leclerc: i want to be your first string

yourusername: what if we just called taylor up?

charles_leclerc: you know here you call her i'm nervous

yourusername: @taylorswift paris night one, lover and this is me trying ft. charles on the piano?

taylorswift: sure thing

charles_leclerc: why was that so easy?

yourusername: better get practising baby

charles_leclerc: OH GOD

user34: how did we get red bull charles and a taylor collab in one year?

user35: i guess we used up charles' good luck from the last four years SORRY CHARLES

charles_leclerc: i guess you're forgiven...

maxverstappen1: so could you like tell me what you'd call me if i hypothetically fucked charles over... i'm not gonna but like i need to mentally prepare myself to hear it

yourusername: i have faith in you so i haven't thought that far ahead

maxverstappen1: can you please not be too mean i can't take it

charles_leclerc: you wanna come to therapy with me buddy?

maxverstappen1: i think i might

yourusername: when we entered the reputation era i did not think it would lead to taking max verstappen to therapy

maxverstappen1: and taylor swift?

yourusername: ... and taylor swift

user36: this is all very cute and all but can we have mean y/n back

user37: when will yall learn that reputation is a love album and y/n and charles are just loving each other freely

user38: but mean y/n did teach someone a lesson in not spreading false rumours cause them tabloids have been QUIET

f1tea

liked by user43, user44 and 7,233 others

f1tea: carlos sainz was caught liking these tweets about charles leclerc and y/n y/ln, what do you think?

view all comments

user45: put me in the ring with carlos i am being so serious

user46: okay for a while i was on the fence about y/n and how intense she was being but like seeing this shit and realising it was probably what was being said in the garage she needed to do more

user47: for real if someone said that about my boyfriend i'd be in prison

user48: so charles and y/n were under contract to not say a word out of line about ferrari or anything to do with ferrari and this guy is out here liking this

user49: call me a conspiracy theorist but this was his public account... he meant for people to find it and wants people to know this stuff

user50: this is why he DNFed in the first race KARMA

user51: maybe this is why he's always the one with relationship issues bro clearly has no loyalty

user52: charles has never said anything about him even now and y/n only said something in retaliation

user53: fuck peace and love y/n needs to give this man hell

user54: read him for filth

user55: bro needs to keep his twitter fingers to himself and focus on not being in the wall ❤️

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,311,885 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: this is why we can't have nice things, darling

view all comments

user56: this is the most response we'll ever get from charles i fear

user57: allow me to elaborate: this is why we can't have nice things by taylor swift is about 'forgiving' the people who wronged you but she literally says "and here's to you because forgiveness is a nice thing to do... i can't even say it with a straight face" so basically charles doesn't forgive carlos or fred. and it specifically shouts out her family and friends and lover for sticking with her which is what charles' family, friends and y/n have done

liked by charles_leclerc

user58: thank you for service

yourusername: i'm reading what they call you lately (it says you're a race winner and a title contender)

charles_leclerc: got a taste of the celebrations and can't get enough

maxverstappen1: KEEP IT PG THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE

charles_leclerc: you're older than me

yourusername: all we said were celebrations, if anything you have the dirty mind 🤨

maxverstappen1: i am usually in the room next to you, i hope this helps

charles_leclerc: our bad <3

maxverstappen1: you don't care do you?

yourusername: not really no. when we get to the same amount of wins as you maybe it'll wear off

maxverstappen1: not on my watch

user58: is this an entertaining title fight but without the bad blood?

user59: and nowhere near ferrari? bless

alexalbon: i hate that i understand all these references

yourusername: lily trained you well

lilymunhe: like a drill sergeant

yourusername: as you should

sebastianvettel: proud of you charlie, i'm glad you're not wasting your talent

charles_leclerc: i love you seb, i'm sorry it took so long

sebastianvettel: make sure you win here, we can be ferrari failures together

yourusername: *ferrari failed you

sebastianvettel: i knew there was a reason i liked you

fin.

note: SOZ. so like i am still working on requests but that radio message FUCKED ME UP. so this had to happen. glad my queen girls (max and charles) did well today, hope you enjoyed !!!

[bearambles]

ARUGUMENT FIC W HAMZAH PLEASE like gets into an argument and you need to cool off and leave and he won’t let you jus angst 👅👅

jealous

(hamzahthefantastic)

words: 1.9k

warnings: established relationship, angst, arguing, swearing, hamzah is kinda a pos, happy ending

note: i hope this is what you were hoping for! i could also 100% write a part 2. also, i think another anon recently requested an argument fic, so there might be another one coming bc it was honestly fun to write. love u all, more fics coming soon

hamzah is driving you insane.

he’s usually not the “jealous type”, but for some reason, today is different. he’s grumpy and pissy and you think you know why.

last night you had gone out to dinner with a few friends from your old school. you weren’t out late, and the group was only about ten people, but to his dismay, your ex boyfriend was one of them.

you told him about it as soon as you knew, and he was pretty passive as soon as he heard. still, he didn’t make too big of a deal, even when you wore your skimpy little outfit to the bar. after all, it was high school. besides, he trusts you.

that was until he saw the pictures. your exs hand on your waist. the way he’s next to you in the group photo. it all really pisses him the fuck off, and even when you swear to him it meant nothing and the guy didn’t mean it, he wasn’t so sure.

“y/n, you see this guy after like five years, you look fine as fuck wearing that tiny fucking skirt, and you think he won’t be into you?”

you scoff, your chest now rising and falling. you really never pegged hamzah as the type of guy to act like this. yet here he was, standing in your bedroom, a few feet away from you with his arms crossed over his chest.

you’d crawled into bed last night to him asleep, and the two of you had been completely fine until this morning. he woke up to see your friend post on instagram about the night prior. he scrolled through her photos before finding the ones of the whole group.

“okay, so it’s my fault if he was?”

“i didn’t say that.”

“you meant it though!” you run your fingers through your hair, frustrated. “listen, i already told you it was nothing. but if it wasn’t, if he was interested, it doesn’t matter, because im dating you.”

he smiles tightly and shakes his head, the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb.

“sure. okay. yeah.”

“you think i’d cheat?”

you stare at him, your blood pressure rising. you can’t believe the way he’s acting. the shit he’s implying you’d do.

“i never fucking said that, y/n. i’m just saying he was touchy, and you won’t admit it.”

“it was one fucking photo! he happened to be next to me! where did you want him to put his hands?”

“anywhere else! not your waist! it’s fucking weird!”

“so you’re mad at me because of the way a guy acted towards me.” you say, sitting down on your bed and mimicking his move of crossing his arms. “that’s really fucking progressive of you.”

“oh my god, you know that’s not true. jesus christ. i’m not mad, im just fucking annoyed. and i don’t like how you acted either.”

“how did i act hamzah. you weren’t even fucking there.” you start to feel tears prick your eyes. you hate crying in front of him, you rarely do. but this was so frustrating, listening to him accuse you when you only love him.

“i still saw.” he mumbles, clearly losing what he was trying to say in the first place. he’s just spitballing stuff at this point.

he isn’t even looking at you any more. his eyes meet the floor and he’s breathing so hard you can hear it just barely. he’s close enough to where you could reach out to his arm and pull him on top of you. you won’t though.

“saw what? my tiny skirt?” you laugh, baffled. “just leave me alone.” you can feel some of the tears start to fall.

he looks up at you when he hears your voice break. his eyes soften their gaze but he stays where he’s standing. it’s silent for a moment before you speak again.

“go away, hamzah.” you say, moving your position to lay down, your face turned away from him.

“no. i wanna talk.”

you’re silent.

“y/n-“

“i said go away.” you mumble between sobs.

you’re stiff for a long moment before you hear him sigh. he turns and leaves your room, and you wait till you hear the door click before really letting yourself sob.

you’d dealt with this in the past - controlling relationships where anything you did around any ex was considered suspicious. in fact, you almost didn’t go last night. but you’d wanted to catch up with your old friends. if it was up to you, you wouldn’t have had your ex there either. he was a total jerk back in the day. but he was, and it was fine. you’d barely spoken outside of taking that group picture.

you don’t want to fight with hamzah. he’s your person. but the way he’s acting is scary.

eventually you decide you need some air. you get dressed, throw on some makeup, and head out the door. you don’t know where you’re going, but you know it needs to be away from here. away from him.

he jumps up from the couch and catches your wrist right before you can turn the knob. you whip your head around, and meet his eyes. he looks just as pissed as before.

“where are you going?” he asks, still gripping you hard

“what, do i need your permission to leave the fucking house now?” you bite back, wriggling our arm free, “get off me. i’ll be back later.”

he starts to protest, but you slam the door before you hear any of it. if you had any fucks left to give, youd tear up again. at this point though, you’ve had enough. if he wanted to be like this, you weren’t gonna entertain it.

the city’s relatively walkable, so that’s what you do. there’s plenty of stuff to do around the area. retail therapy, you think. whatever makes you forget about this argument for a while.

-

it’s late when you walk home. later than the night before, and later than you’d ever been out without calling. you and hamzah had one another’s location, so really, he could see anytime where you were. which was the outdoor mall, and then the local bar. you’d only had a few drinks, but you were there for a good two hours. just talking and talking to the bartender. you guys are friends, and she was a good listener. so she listened.

“he’s just being so mean. and like, he’s never mean. sometimes we argue and stuff, but it’s always over stupid stuff, you know? and like, we make up super quick. but he’s like, so mad at me. and i swear to god, i didn’t even do anything.”

“it’s his first real relationship, right?” she asks, while pouring a drink

“yeah. i guess maybe that’s why. i just like, never thought he’d be like this. all jealous.”

“i think most guys are, honestly. or at least, the insecure ones. either way though, he shouldn’t be acting that way. i’m glad you got out to clear your head.”

you nod and take a sip. you’re tipsy, you realize. it actually feels pretty nice though. letting loose to someone like this. you should be talking to hamzah, but he doesn’t seem to want to listen. you sigh and shake your head like it’ll clear the thoughts away.

when you walk through the door, the house is silent. it’s nearly one am, so you assume at first that hamzah fell asleep. that is until you’re going to hang your jacket up and hear him open the bedroom door. you press your eyes closed, ready for the reprimanding.

“you scared the shit out of me.”

you turn around to face him, and his eyebrows are knit together. he’s in the doorway, his arms crossed and his back against the doorframe. he chews at his lip.

“sorry.” you mumble, going to take your shoes off.

“sorry?” he scoffs, uncrossing his arms and using them as he speaks, “you were out for hours, y/n!”

“i told you i’d be back later.” you don’t look at him, don’t step forward. you stand there, your arms pressed against our chest, holding yourself tight.

“that’s all i get then? not even a text? what the fuck, y/n.” his nostrils flare as he talks, and he starts moving closer to you. “I had no idea if you were safe! you could have gotten fucking killed.”

you laugh, moving your head back like you can’t believe what he’s saying. though honestly - he’s right. the city can be sketchy, especially at night. you seldom went on walks without him this late. especially drunk. which, he hasn’t seemed to notice you are yet.

“killed? come on.”

“don’t act like that’s crazy to say. the streets are dangerous. you know that!” he’s in your face now, motioning with his hands. “seriously, y/n, what the fuck.”

you flinch as he raises his hands in exclamation.

“so you’re mad again, great.” before you know it, you’re crying again.

you hold yourself tighter as tears start to fall. you feel like a little kid, just standing there helpless. the drinks are really getting you now.

hamzah is silent for a minute as you sob. he stands so close to you, but doesn’t dare move. when you finally look up at him, his gaze has softened and his hands are in his pockets. he reaches out slowly to brush your hair out of your face, looking at you like he’s waiting for protest. instead, you lean into his hand on your cheek.

he stares at you for a moment and you can’t tell how he feels. his eyes scan your features, landing on your lips, which are quivering just slightly. after a few moments of just looking at one another, he puts his arms out, offering a hug.

you fall against his chest and start sobbing all over again.

he rubs circles into your back absent-mindly, whispering little “shhs”. you don’t even thin of how angry you were today. how mean he was. you just cry and let him hold you. he pulls you two apart and goes to hold your face in his palms.

“how much did you drink,baby? " he asks, wiping a tear.

“not that much. just like, a few.”

“a few what?”

“mmm seltzers?” you say, more of a question than an answer.

he sighs.

“okay. well, i think you should go to bed, yeah?”

your eyes scan his face, searching for whatever emotion he’s hiding. surely he’s still angry. you hold onto both his arms while you speak.

“hamzah.”

“yeah?”

“i don’t like my high school boyfriend.”

“i know.”

he presses his eyes shut tight. his chest rises and falls slowly and before you can argue that he clearly doesn’t know, he speaks again.

“i was gonna apologize when you got home.”

“but now you’re mad again.” you say, pouting

“not about that. and i’m not mad, y/n, i was worried. you were gone for five hours without a text or anything.”

“m’sorry.” you mumble, pressing your head against his chest again.

“let’s go to bed, okay?”

he strokes your hair as you breath in his scent. he’s warm, and it hits you how tired you are. Ou nod softly against him and before you know it, he’s picking you up and carrying you to bed. giggling, you land with a plop. he joins you and holds you tight.

“we can talk more tomorrow, yeah. you deserve a better apology but i have a feeling you won’t remember much of it if i tell you now.”

you nod, scooting back to press your back against his chest. he kisses your shoulder. you fall asleep.

-

i hope you guys enjoyed >.< requests are open

[bookwormbynight]

the take that lawlight and other ships involving Light and an older character are not problematic because “Light Yagami is incapable of being groomed” is doing rounds on dntwt again and holy shit it drives me insane every time i see it because

(“you” below refers to people with this take, not you)

1. what the hell is this victim-blaming logic when you’re literally talking about it as something applicable to the real world. no one is immune to being groomed.

2. to speak of the idea in-universe, I’m pretty sure that is just factually untrue. Light can definitely be groomed and has many traits that make him susceptible

3. no one is immune to being groomed. Light being manipulative, “evil”, intelligent or ““mature for his age”” (oh boy) does not prevent him from grooming in any capacity. in fact those traits combined with his arrogance make him a easy target as long as the perpetrator knows what to say

4. if you’re uncomfortable with the idea that lawlight is grooming, you can just think and say that you do not view lawlight’s dynamic as grooming. that would be reasonable, at least in comparison to fucking “light is immune to being groomed”

5. (pardon my language but) why in the fuck would you phrase it like ��I’m sorry but if you can *insert a bunch of things that don’t prevent anyone from being groomed* then I’m NOT gonna believe you got groomed” like do you know how you sound right now????

6. have I mentioned that no one is immune to being groomed.

frankly, as someone who doesn’t usually prefer to view lawlight as full-on “adult grooming child” (I do think the existing age gap is a very intriguing factor but generally it is not my top preference to take it to the extreme in my own conception of it; it is very interesting to see as an alternative though, I respect it), I feel MUCH safer around everyone in this dn tumblr circle than people who say that shit. respect and salute to you all 🫡

Oh, ick!! Thank you for sharing!

Dude I am so afraid of dntwt I refuse. Of course the drawback to that is Tumblr doesn't allow the kind of images that Twitter does so I miss out on that but with the combination of Elon Musk and the nazis and whatever nutcase discourse that regularly happens over there, I'm not touching that shit with a ten foot pole even for the sake of porn 😭

Yeah no the solution to something that makes you uncomfortable is never ever to blame the victim. (Honestly, and I'm psychoanalyzing again, I think part of what makes this circle so safe is that we treat this shit with the gravity it deserves, even when we're sexualizing it. Because what we're sexualizing IS the horror. The horror is what's hot about it, but the horror reaction implies that it's something terrible and serious. It's not normal or okay or impossible.)

I'd like to explore the mention of discomfort with the topic. That shit is normal and human. Not everyone likes sexualizing horror, not everyone understands everything you need for it to feel safe, AND, and this is a wildly different but still important factor in fandom interaction, not everyone DOES think it's plausible for the universe. You can think things don't match your headcanon for how you interpreted the work! I made a post yesterday along those lines about a fanfic I was reading! The thing is, don't attack real people (if you think someone's handling a subject in fiction in a way that does real harm, like E.L. James for my example, you don't send hate mail, you tell people why it's harmful and boycott the work); be aware that canon is subjective even if you have some textual evidence to back your view up - feel free to present said evidence, but nobody has to take it to heart and you can't make them; and above all, if it's pertaining to these types of topics, DO NOT USE THE VICTIM TO CONTRADICT IT. USE THE SUPPOSED PERPETRATOR. If you don't think L is a groomer, say so, if you don't think lawlight involves grooming, go for it, but Light Yagami better not fucking be a pillar of your argument because victims are never the reason something happened to them, which means they are also never the reason something didn't happen. People astound me.

Be kind everybody ❤️

[argentsunshine]

have you posted about your characterization of Joker? i really like your takes about him and would love if it were explained, but understand if not

i don't think i've posted about it explicitly beyond writing fics and comics, but i do think about it a lot

i acknowledge that everyone picks different options for their akira(/ren, i'll be calling him akira here in case i have to differentiate between his real world and metaverse personas), but imo there are way more basic facts about akira that are the same regardless of what dialogue options you pick than people act like there are

he's quiet

he's not really a silent protagonist unless you're incredibly broad with the term, but he still isn't exactly the most talkative guy. you may be saying mr argent sunshine, this is obvious, why are you bothering to state this. well you see i often joke that i have a test where i back out of a fanfic if anyone describes akira as "loud", "talkative", or anything else to that effect. i have seen this so often and it drives me insane. especially when people portray him as like, a quirky hyperactive ditz constantly saying stupid shit...? people can be funny while saying very few words, guys. (sometimes it's even funnier to say less. wild concept.)

also, while the doylist purpose of his quietness is obvious - making the player pick a line every other sentence would get annoying and would force them to write and record way more dialogue to account for all the responses - i think it's interesting to examine from a watsonian perspective. was he always quiet, or is it a mask in the same way as the glasses are? i personally imagine him always being on the quiet side, but it's a space you could play in.

2. caring so deeply about everyone and everything all the time

this to me is the real core of akira's character. the defining moment of his whole deal to me is the one-two punch of him saving a woman he didn't know and losing everything for it, and, when arsene asks, him saying doing that was not a mistake, i'd do it again if i had to, even though the woman he was trying to save turned around and lied to the police, resulting in his arrest. he comforts ann when they barely know each other, he awakens to arsene in the first place while trying to protect ryuji, who he's known for all of ten minutes. yes, he loves his friends and found family dearly (and i'm sure when i started talking about things that are true no matter what option you pick someone went "oh like how akechi will still be akira's wish in maruki's reality no matter what you do", yeah, that too) but he's also ready to throw himself into harm's way for the sake of people he's never met.

(if someone wants my full rant on this point ask me about sojiro akira parallels but a side point to this is that he's deeply unselfish, to a level that may not be healthy in the long run. he just so happens to have gotten the exact magic powers to make his heroics feasible. i'm just saying, without getting persona powers he still would have managed to draw kamoshida's anger, and he would have been expelled and probably gone to juvie! but he still would have done it because he can't just look away.)

3. oh god i don't want this to turn into a whole full rant so now i have to pick one last point then shut up. oh god oh fuck. i could talk about akira forever but nobody wants to sit through that. let's talk about masks.

i don't think of joker as The Real Akira as much as his metaverse appearance is another facet of him. looking at him from another angle. i think his flair for the dramatic is fun and i love him, but i also think the concept of theatrics and illusion and trickery (ha) being built so deep into him is very important. even though it's always for the greater good, he does tell people what they want to hear a lot (off the top of my head, maybe 1/3 to 1/2 of his non-PT confidants are at least somewhat based on false pretenses right from the start, even if they make him come clean in the end, and a lot of the rest involve akira being exactly who the person needs him to be.) you could argue that akira's always pretending to literally everyone fully all the time (I don't think this is true; i think he obscures parts of himself to make himself more useful or palatable to others, but i think arguing his connections are inauthentic is a) edgelord bullshit or, more commonly, shipper brain if they're arguing only one connection is authentic b) just not consistent with the way people work. i'm personally of the opinion that we're all always presenting tailored versions of ourselves to everyone around us - i'm ruder around my friends but kinder around my parents; openly ramble about my interests to my online friends but tend to keep a lid on them irl - these don't make some of my connections fake, it's just a difference in the facets people see. i don't think akira's tendecy to present different masks around different people is neccasarily the best way to go about life (in that i think it Will lead to an identity crisis inevitably) but it's definitely A Thing!

i lost track of what i was saying at the end there so i'll stop talking

[moonshynecybin]

top taylor swift songs that were actually written about rosquez?

they are many they are myriad they are legion.... no order and non exhaustive ofc

wouldve couldve shouldve. ouegh ough aough aoueg. ouregh. and i damn sure never would've danced with the devil. at nineteen. and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven. i mean JESUS CHRIST dude. songs that make me want 20 mins alone in a room with valentino rossi and a baseball bat.

all to well ten min. i think the longer version is inferior generally but adding the lens of a slightly fucked up age gap pushes this up the list. so many insane rosquez details in this one. i was thinkin on the drive down hes gonna say its love you never called it what it was. (hello.) the idea you had of me, who was she? a never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you. (HELLO?) charmed my dad with self effacing jokes like youre on a late night show. (HELLO!!!) my friend valentino did that to my buddy marc. i was there i SAW IT. my friend @repsol-ariel made gifs.

i bet you think about me. jussssst the right amount of insufferable for them in the bitter post divorce chaos of it all... truly like. vale you fucked UP dude. i think this plays in marc's head for every championship he wins 2016-2019. when you realized im harder to forget than i was to leave. crazy. bananas. fun to think about if youre nasty... i also love indulging the side of marc that is kind of fucking mad at vale lol. my cuntress... this is why we cant have nice things also fits in this category. its the fun parts of divorce: like spite!

forever and always. you ever think about 2015 and how crazy marc probably felt when he realized his whatsapp thread with valentino post ranch visit was all messages from HIM. like truly before that season he said vale is my friend all is good between us :) then in midseason he says its a different relationship not quite a friend one just absolutely white knuckling it. and all this happened with little public indication of off-track conflict. WHAT HAPPENED. anyways did i say something way too honest that made you run and hide? like a scared little boy??

story of us. a fixture of my imaginings. but you held your pride like you shouldve held me. how did tswift know. what did she see. was there a psychic on her staff. did she perhaps have a prophetic dream of some sort.

haunted. YOU AND EYE WALK A FRAGILE LINE I HAVE KNOWN IT ALL THIS TIME.... CMON CMON DONT LEAVE ME LIKE THISSSSSS i thought I had you figured out... something's gone terribly wrong.... you're all I wanted.... hello. is this thing on. like truly maybe the most rosquez of my rosquez songs. this one is THEMMMM to me. its dramatic its tense its yearning its a little PISSED OFF.

back to december. RECONCILIATION ANTHEM. your tanned skin your sweet smile so good to me so right.... GOD. truly like before they reconcile but after vale has turned the corner. wistful regretfulness!! pride swallowing by someone not used to it!!!

cowboy like me: twin flames!!!! FUKC!!!! IM NEVER GONNA LOVE AGAIN!

[theskywaslookingback]

❄️🍉💖

🍉 Are you a planner, or are you more of a “eh we’ll see how this one goes” -type of crafter?

I’m more of a “how hard can it be” type of crafter. I think of something and go “well, how hard could that be?” and then I either crush it or learn “much harder than expected, actually”. I have done that for literally EVERYTHING I currently make. Cricut? How hard can it be? Punch needle? How hard can it be? Resin? How hard can it be? Polymer clay? How hard can it be? Stained glass? [I am forcibly yanked off the stage]

💖 Which one of your creations are you the proudest of? Show off!

This fucking shadow box from hell that took like 20 working hours to make and STILL hasn’t sold but is one of THE most gorgeous pieces I’ve ever made in my entire life

❄️ Do you have any crafting (either craft or community related) pet peeves?

(Saving the best because im a petty bitch and have Many)

- This is really vendor specific but I HATE event vendor group chats So Fucking Much. They are full of the absolute dumbest people on God’s green earth made specifically to annoy ME. Just a laundry list of “your reading comprehension is piss poor / how dare you say I piss on the poor” ass people. I have so many examples but the worst most recent one was the day before Easter we had an event in town that had been discussed for MONTHS beforehand. The event coordinator had sent us the set up info on multiple occasions, like I’ve actually never done a more organized event. So we’ve been told many times the set up time was 9am, show time was 11am, okay? The night before the event coordinator sends a message saying basically “hey yall I need you to park on x side of the building and at 10:30am we’re gonna lock the x side entrance doors” and people fucking LOST IT. Like there were IMMEDIATELY ten messages being like “so we only have thirty minutes of set up??????” I hate vendor chats. These people are so fucking stupid.

- I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups for beginners to ask questions in and the thing that just drives me insane is when people are like “hey I bought x thing at the store, how do i decorate it?” like????? However you want?? It’s for you?? What are you even talking about

- Also Facebook related but anyone who can’t read directions on shit and then asks why their resin piece fucked up make me so annoyed

- Also also people who just post a picture and then say “what’d i do wrong” with no further elaboration?? Idk man, what am I looking at??

- craft specific: pet peeve when I get poked by wire when making ribbon wreaths

- also when I misjudge where my finger is when deburring resin and nick my finger 😠

- when fabric won’t lay flat for a fucking iron on

- when the transfer tape gets a crinkle on top of a decal and makes the decal go a little wonky is my fucking 9/11

[anyatomy]

ok i thought of more

top 5 ttrpg vortex characters you'd be tumblr mutuals with

flipping your question back on you. top ten characters YOUD study under a microscope.

TUMBLR MUTUALS WITH… OHHHHHGG…… THIS IS SO DIFFICULT.

ok. ok

1) winslow: i made him man we have like all the same interests bc hes from my head. but also hed just be really active and probably have a queue and multiple themed sideblogs and be really good to follow if youre into the same things as he is

2) ok this is crazy but. preppy baum: i think she has a tumblr and i think it would be fucking insane and full of actually kind of concerning (in the “Oh my god did she Actually kill someone” way) but i think shed be SUCH A GOOD FOLLOW. like especially if fucking nebulos ever got a phone shed start posting shit like evilmario666. and i think interacting with that would be the most joyous experience possible

3) velvet: especially after wizard city events. because i feel like hed have a very small blog with some of the best character analysis ever written. her goro akechi character studies would drive any person CRAZY. talking to her about persona would be the most enlightening conversation ever. id draw fanart for her posts. he definitely has the options to search for her blog turned Off

4) arlo: man shes just really nice i think we would become genuine friends. i think she has a well done tagging system and has really good taste in posts but doesnt blog much herself but often replies to her mutuals i think itd be nice

5) Biff bosley because i need to be there to support her on her transition i have to help her i think she has a secret blog lilienne helped her set up in middle school and just uses it to look at posts at get sad but i need to be there for her i have to help her

and the opposite: a short list of our ttrpg guys id rather die than be tumblr mutuals with:

- Angel.

- eurydice

- fox

and. top TEN CHARACTERS ID STUDY? TEN? oh god. Oh goodness me. I need time to ponder

[petrichorium]

Cinderella, Peter Pan, and 101 Dalmatians for shanks (sorry i have to) or tomura or both if u like🎤🎤<333

yes i Will do all of the above ty for this opportunity oz........

cinderella - what do you and your f/o do in your free time? any shared hobbies?

Shanks — i feel like free time is often spent w him dozing off w his head in my lap and me reading 🤔 not counting. when he's partying. JKSHBDF idk i cant think up any hobbies for him. beckman and i have a book club and he tried to keep up for a bit but we moved quickly from fiction to fucking........ political theory and hes just like. ur both fucking insane u read this for FUN???? (yes and we discuss it ty 🙄). OH in a modern au i think he loves watching shows w me he's more than happy to talk meta and unpack shows.

Tomura — gaming,,,,,,, ik its so cliche sorry but esp minecraft we play a lot of minecraft together. and a lot of parallel play!!!! he likes more intense combat-heavy games and when hes doing that im often on my phone or reading a book or sometimes curled up half on top of him taking a nap (he is so careful not to wake me up........)

peter pan - favorite picture/screencap/etc. of your f/o?

Shanks — love his pretty grin 🥺 idk what im gonna do in like ten years when we start getting him in present day like........ not portrayed as Just A Dude but a whole ass emperor. oh my god

Tomura — ohhhhh so many!!!! i am partial to the iconic stigmata pic ofc, but in general im such a sucker for any immediate-post-awakening negative hair and thick ass thighs caps. honorable mention to his og look but GODDDDDD his glowup is sooooooo sexy to me (not even the appearance inherently but also the attitude...... oh what a man)

101 dalmatians - who fell in love first?

Shanks — him. i honestly think he's rlly prone to infatuation at first sight; he falls hard and fast and often it burns out when the interest is reciprocated but um. i make him work for it so much it ends up sticking LMFAOOOOOO we r talking years of a slow burn baby he's v much single-mindedly obsessed w winning me over and by the end of it he suddenly comes to his senses and is like FUCK im actually head-over-heels HOW DID THAT HAPPEN

Tomura — um. him technically? i have a lil celebrity crush on him before we meet that peters out when i start getting to know him....... and then becomes a real crush as i grow closer to him. he meanwhile represses his interest in me at first, then afo stokes a bit of an obsession in him (w the intent to have tomura drive me away and make it a yandere situation. it doesnt work. it blows up in his stupid face), and then when that interest is returned it mellows into actual love.

send a disney themed selfship ask!

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

do you have any hypno writers you really like? either for TSS or just in general. your writing is great so I feel like you'd have good taste in recs

- 👽

first off, 🥺 that's really sweet thank you

second off, i don't think im going to have a very good answer for you. legitimately, i used to trawl the nsfs/nsfw tags the most,,, back in about 2019?? and the landscape of who's writing and how much is being written has changed a surprising amount, and I can't remember for the life of me who i used to read.

the sanders stuff? fuck dude i dont remember anyone other than @/tulipanthousa in specific, but i remember reading good stuff. God. i remember tss kinktober 2019 was really good but i cannot rely on tumblr ever being able to take me back that far.

when it comes to just hypnokink blogs? again a lot of the stuff i initially microdosed on is actually gone (i joined tumblr first for porn but also like,,,, ten months before the porn ban)

But i am still gonna list a whole bunch of blogs i find inspiring / hot. tho tbh you might have guessed some of these already based on my rb history

(im also not tagging ANYONE bc im just some rando fandom smut blog and that'd be mortifying >.<)

@/of-mutts-and-men just hits that monsterfucker vibe perfectly. a lot of werewolf vibes and ive been so into that lately. also a healthy dose of mind-fuckery.

@/aspiring-house-husband has really good hypno story posts (and non hypno) but just. clenches fist. the eroticism is off the charts. their posts are So inspiring. and so fucking hot. drives me crazy insane.

@/erogenousmind also is top notch and im pretty sure, from memory, has some really good hypno scripts? im picky w/ scripts, i dont like ones that try bait you into reblogging at the end >.< and a lot of them dont necessarily pace well, but i remember this person's stuff being Good

@/yoyomindloops is v much the same as above. they have that erotic hypno dnd series. good shit.

and tho im p sure theyre not on tumblr anymore actively, the blog is still up, and @/lewd-zko's art is just. such internet hypnokink classic.

im also gonna cite 2 like,,, 'makes hypno porn video content' things that i find really inspiring/hot too (tho i will admit, ive never bought their things, i dont exactly have the privacy to do so nor the funds)

@/the-hedge-hypnotist was a guy i remember has been around for ages and has been like,,, solidly one of the Ethical Hypno Content Guys? there's been... a fair amount of drama over the years, it seems, but yeah. he always super cites the models he works with and even the teasers for what they make is super top notch and really erotic. i remember one i was obsessed w/ was super eldritch horror... and i didnt even think i was into that

and lastly, a site that's been driving me insane and im actually gonna link it directly, is Mesmerotic. their people are hot, theyre hypno is hot and real and genuine, and even tho like,,, i can't buy their stuff yet, their teasers/snippets are insanely good. and they do some versatile things!

the other major idea spinner, other than my own brain, is actually DM's with a bestie ^-^' it's no more than plotting erotic fics together (it's actually for a different fandom, i reuse the ideas and she doesn't mind) but got ae have some good kinky ideas. the superhero stuff? that was aem.

...i dont know if this is quite what you meant, but... yeah! fdkgjfdg

[waitimcomingtoo]

I posted 4,609 times in 2022

That's 1,965 more posts than 2021!

4,356 posts created (95%)

253 posts reblogged (5%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@waitimcomingtoo

@super-metroid

@bassistkinks

@92percentloki

@zebbyscoot

I tagged 194 of my posts in 2022

#tom holland x reader - 106 posts

#tom holland x you - 104 posts

#tom holland fluff - 97 posts

#tom holland fanfiction - 82 posts

#tom holland x y/n - 72 posts

#peter parker fanfiction - 59 posts

#peter parker x you - 58 posts

#peter parker x reader - 58 posts

#peter parker imagine - 51 posts

#waitimcomingtoo’s sleepover - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 85 characters

#for context this is im reference to me asking who dies in the zootopia abortion comic

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Look After You

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Synopsis: after Peter snaps at you, you feel like you can’t call him for help

Warnings: panic attack

Masterlist

Peter had a bad day.

There had been an unexpected assemble at school that left him in sensory overload. All the sounds and bright lights overstimulated him into a horrible mood. He was beyond agitated on his walk home, everything little sound and movement further pissing him off. He was not in the mood to talk to a single person so he kept his head down and earbuds as he made his way up to his apartment. His sleeve got caught on the doorknob as he made his way inside and he just about broke the door down. He went straight to his room and quickly took his jacket off. The feeling of having his jacket and shoes on was making his sensory overload even worse.

“Hey.” You said, making Peter jump.

“Oh. Hi.” Peter blinked in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“May let me in. Did you still want to organize your notes?” You asked with a sweet smile. Peter didn’t know how to tell you this, but he desperately wanted you to leave. He was in no mood to socialize right now and just wanted to relax in silence.

“Yeah.” He faked a smile. “Sure.”

He took a seat on his bed across from you and took his notebook out. He was still way overstimulated so every little thing you did bothered him. The sound of your breathing, the sound of you moving the pages, even the way your pen sounded when you clicked it made Peter’s skin itch. As you flipped through his notebook, you turned a page too fast and it ripped down the middle.

“Oops.” You chuckled. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Whatever.” Peter grumbled. You noticed the way he rolled his eyes and your smile instantly fell. You began to feel uneasy around him and cleared your throat. He looked up at you when you did this and looked even more annoyed than before.

“Where’s your tape?” You asked quietly.

“In the bottom drawer.” He mumbled as you got off the bed.

“What?” You asked when you didn’t hear him. Peter stopped flipping through his notebook and flexed his hand to keep from lashing out.

“In the bottom drawer.” He repeated. “In my desk.”

“I don’t see it.” You said after opening the drawer.

“Then keep looking.” Peter sound, the annoyance in his voice sending a chill down your spine. You continued to rummage through the drawer, unaware of how loud it sounded for Peter. His enhanced hearing made it ten times louder than it sounded for you and it was driving Peter insane.

“I can’t find it.” You said after a minute, sending Peter over the edge.

“Oh my God.” He exclaimed and got off the bed. “Just stop touching things. I’ll get it. You’re being so irritating right now.”

You stopped looking through the drawer and got out of his way as he walked over to the desk. You were hurt by his words but said nothing about it, not wanting to irritate him further.

“It’s right here.” Peter said angrily when he found the tape. “Can you open your fucking eyes?”

“I didn’t see it.” You said quietly as he slammed the tape down on his desk. You jumped as the plastic cartridge shattered under his fist.

“Because you weren’t looking.” He shouted in your face. “Do you have to be so fucking helpless all the time? I can’t come rushing to your side the second you need me. I’m under enough pressure as it is without you whining and making a bunch of noise over some fucking tape. If you hadn’t ripped the god damn page in the first place, we wouldn’t have had this problem.”

You stumbled back from Peter as he finished shouting and felt tears brim in your eyes. You were both equally shocked over what had just come out of Peter’s mouth. He had never raised his voice at you before. He was never anything but sweet towards you, so to hear him scream and swear at you made your entire body feel hot in embarrassment. He slapped his hand over his mouth, stunned that he just lashed out at you like that. You took your phone out of your pocket and pretended to check it.

“My mom wants me home.” You mumbled. “I gotta go.”

You started walking towards the door but Peter quickly ran in front of you

“Wait, honey. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that.” He apologized as he tried to keep you in place.

See the full post

2,667 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

A Sweet Boy Like Me

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: when Peter gets hit with a truth serum on a mission, he tells you more then he means to

Masterlist

GIF by imtoohot-hotbam-blog

“FRIDAY, what’s the status on the jet?” You asked out loud as you ate your cereal. A minor cold had benched you while the rest of the Avengers went on a mission in the Amazon. You’d been by yourself for nearly a week now and were needing some company.

“The jet should be touching down on the landing pad any minute.” FRIDAY answered you.

“Thank you.” You called back. You finished the rest of your breakfast and by the time you put your bowl in the sink with the rest of your dirty dishes, you heard footsteps in the main entrance. You tried to hide your excitement as you went out to greet the team. You saw all the Avengers standing in the middle of the room looking utterly exhausted except for Peter, who had a huge smile on his face.

“Hey guys. How was the mission?”

“Great rack. Truly immaculate rack.” Peter said and gave you a double thumbs up.

“Oh. What?” You smiled awkwardly and looked at Tony for an explanation. The team looked at each other, no one wanting to be the person that told you what happened. You frowned and folded your arms, looking at each of them until they caved.

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell her.” Tony sighed. “Long story short, Peter got drugged.”

“What?” You gasped and looked at Peter again.

“I have a stinky in my brown hole.” He told you.

“He’s got a what in his what?” You asked the team.

“He has to shit. It’s all he’s been talking about for the 4 hour plane ride back here.” Sam groaned and went to take a seat on the couch.

“Oh my god. Ew. Brown hole?” You looked at Peter in disgust.

“Yessir.” Peter smiled and gave you another double thumbs up.

“Why is it brown? And wait, hold on, why is he on drugs?” You asked again.

“He got hit with a tranquilizer. In the neck.” Steve told you.

“See?” Peter smiled proudly and turned his head to the side. On his neck, you could see a massive red bump that looked like it was about to explode.

“JESUS FUCKING-“ You screamed but everyone on the team quickly motioned for you to stop.

“I mean, it doesn’t look that bad.” You quickly lied.

“Thank you. That’s what I said.” Peter laughed and touched his neck bump. It jiggled under his finger and you turned to the side to gag a little.

“My neck grew a boob.” Peter laughed and poked it again. You covered your mouth with your hand and looked to Tony for answers.

“How did he get drugged exactly?” You asked.

“Well long story short-“

“No. Enough with the long story short. I need to know how this happened. Give me the long story long.”

“I’ll give you the long.” Peter said and looked directly at you. You gave him a strange look as he attempted to wink at you. He ended up using both eyes and just gave you a slow blink.

“Oh my God.” You grimaced and looked away from him.

See the full post

2,803 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#3

You'll Save All Your Dirtiest Jokes For Me

Pairing: Tom Holland x actress!reader

Synopsis: you make a lot dirty jokes that leave Tom wondering how you really feel about him

warnings: adult humor

Masterlist

You were known to make a lot of dirty jokes.

Your sense of humor was strictly rated R, something Tom found out pretty quickly. Since you and he were the closest in the cast, he was usually the target of these jokes. Tom wasn’t exactly opposed to them, he just had a hard time telling when you were kidding or not.

Sometimes, the jokes went over his head.

“Look. Our action figures came in.” Tom said as he walked into your trailer.

“Woah! I haven’t seen these yet. I’ve been waiting all day to play with myself.” You sighed in relief and picked up your action figure.

“These are so cool. Yours looks nothing like you, though.” He snorted as he looked at the toy in your hand.

“How many people do you think have made us fuck?” You genuinely asked him as you mashed your action figure against the Spiderman one.

“Oh my God. Stop.” Tom turned bright red and grabbed your hands to make you stop. You pulled out of his grasp and made the toys kiss.

“Look. I bet all the marvel fans are out there doing this.” You joked before making them change positions. You bent the knees of the Spiderman doll before putting it on top of your doll.

“Wait, who do you think tops?”

“Who what?” He asked as he tried to pull his doll away from you.

“Like between our characters. Would Spiderman want to be on his back-“ You asked as you laid the Spiderman doll down, “or on top?” You said as you put him back on top of your doll.

“Oh. I think I’m on top.” Tom nodded, praying the conversation would end before his face got any redder.

“You think you’d top me?” You asked skeptically.

“Yes.” Tom said weakly, sounding unsure of himself.

“Please.” You scoffed. “My action figure would ride your action figure like a carousel. I think I’m the more dominant one between the two of us.”

“You’re still talking about our characters, right?” He gulped as he grabbed a pillow and held it over his lap.

“Am I?” You asked innocently as you continued to make the dolls kiss.

“What about you?” He asked quietly. “Are you as dominate as your character?”

“I’m pretty versatile in the bedroom. I’m similar to a pancake in which neither of us are done until we’re flipped on both sides.” You said simply, making yourself laugh.

“Oh.” He gulped. “Good to know.”

Other times, the jokes left him disappointed.

“Ugh. I hate this. I hate cooking. Fuck this recipe. Fuck peppers. Fuck this spatula. Fuck this stupid fucking warped pan.” Tom said and threw his spatula down in exasperation.

“Well since you’re fucking everything, I hope my name gets thrown into the mix.” You replied from the kitchen table. Tom whipped around to see if you were serious, but you were absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Really?” He asked as he nervously drummed his fingers on the counter. He wasn’t opposed to that if you were being serious, but he couldn’t say that until he knew for sure.

See the full post

3,906 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

#2

Beneath the Surface

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: during a pool day with the team, your bathing suit makes it difficult for Peter to focus

Masterlist

“Suit up, Parker. I need you outside.” Tony said as he knocked on Peters doorframe.

“Suit up? Is there a mission?”

“Even better. There’s a mandatory pool day.” Tony replied with an excited wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Can a pool day be mandatory?” Peter wondered.

“Can a boy be strangled?” Tony asked in the same tone. They both fell silent as they stared at each other and Peter gulped a little.

“Pool day. Ten minutes.” Tony said with a big smile after a beat of silence.

“I’ll be there.” Peter nodded quickly.

“Glad to have you. See you out there.” Tony patted Peters doorframe before walking away. Not wanting to upset Tony, Peter quickly changed into bathing suit shorts and a t shirt. He slipped into his flip flops before heading down to the pool. He found Steve, Tony, and Thor sitting around a table under a big umbrella while Shang Chi, Sam, and Scott were in the pool. They all already had their shirts off, making Peter feel a little self conscious in the presence of all their super sized muscles.

“Look who’s arrived.” Steve smiled up at Peter as he shielded his eyes from the sun.

“Yep.” Peter smiled weakly. “It’s me.”

“Look who it is!” Thor cheered before leaning over to the other guys.

“Who is that?” He whispered loud enough for Peter to hear.

“Um…Peter.” Peter answered in confusion.

“It’s nice to meet you, Umpeter. I’m Thor.” Thor smiled brightly and held out his hand. Peter frowned and shook Thors hand as he looked at the others for an explanation.

“You Midgardians and your silly names.” Thor chuckled as he looked at the other guys again.

“Thor, it’s me. Peter.” Peter said again.

“Yes. I know that now. Pleasure to meet you.”

“We…we have met.” Peter said slowly.

“Have we?” Thor frowned.

“That’s Spiderman. You probably haven’t seen him without his mask on.” Steve said in Peters defense.

“I don’t remember ever meeting a Spiderman.” Thor shook his head.

“Well you have.” Peter told him. “Many times. And it’s me.”

“No. I don’t think so. I’ve never seen this man in my life.” Thor shrugged.

“Yes you have. He was with us when we fought Thanos.” Steve reminded him.

“And when we went on that mission to Scotland. He was the one in the skintight red and blue suit.”

“I sat next to you at dinner last night.” Peter reminded him.

See the full post

4,247 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Stolen Moments

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis: your secret relationship is exposed when Peter returns from a mission bruised and bloody and you comfort him in front of everyone

Masterlist

“Can you hand me a screwdriver?”

“What size?” You asked as you riffled through the open tool kit on the table.

“The one with the red handle.”

“The one with the red handle please?”

“No. Just the one with the red handle.” Peter said seriously before cracking a smile.

“Haha. Very funny.” You rolled your eyes as you passed him the screwdriver.

“I know. You’re so lucky you get a boyfriend as funny as I am. Some girls boyfriends are really annoying.” Peter teased you as he screwed a tiny screw into his web-shooter.

“I know. I’m one of those girls.” You replied, making Peters jaw drop.

“Shut up. You love me.”

“You’re okay.” You shrugged with a playful smile as you wrapped your arm around his.

“You’re okay too, lover”. Peter smiled at you as he started to lean in. Right before you lips could connect, you heard the sound of your dads whistling. You and Peter jumped apart just as Tony came into the lab.

“Hi dad. Peter and I were just fixing his webshooters.” You said in an attempt to act causal. You and Peter exchanged a nervous look, both hoping Tony didn’t see what you had been doing.

“I was fixing my webshooters. Y/n was busy eating wheat thins and chewing loudly in my ear.” Peter said as he nodded towards your half eaten box of wheat thins.

“Parker, don’t insult the volume of my daughters chewing.” Tony scoffed before turning to you. “Honey, keep up the good work.”

“Thanks daddy.” You smiled as Tony kissed the side of your head.

“Thanks daddy.” Peter said in a mocking tone. You shared another look and you playfully nudged him.

“Well I’ll leave you two to it. Don’t keep my beloved daughter too long, cobwebs. She and I have a smoothie date later.”

“I won’t.” Peter assured your dad.

“Bye dad.”

“Bye kiddo.” Tony waved as he walked out of the lab. Once you and Peter were alone again, you scooted your chair closer and rested your chin in your hands.

“Do you think he knows about us?“ Peter asked as he moved some hair away from your face.

“No. We’re way too careful.” You shook your head. Peter looked at you for a minute before going back to screwing together his web shooters.

“Maybe we should tell him.” Peter suggested without looking at you.

“About us?”

“Yeah. We’ve been together for 8 months. Maybe it’s time he knows.” Peter said as he nervously looked at you for your reaction.

“He can’t know, Pete. He’s been very clear that he’s against anyone in the tower dating.” You sighed as you put your hand on top of Peters. Peter frowned a little and flipped his hand so he could hold yours.

See the full post

4,300 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nonbinaryeddiekaspbrak]

I posted 1,702 times in 2022

51 posts created (3%)

1,651 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ur-not-reddie

@pamesjatterson

@blueeyedrichie

@fuckbitchesgetreddie

@concerto-roblox

I tagged 1,702 of my posts in 2022

#not fandom - 526 posts

#it - 407 posts

#eddie kaspbrak - 254 posts

#richie tozier - 236 posts

#kinda fandom - 173 posts

#writing - 143 posts

#reddie - 142 posts

#music - 71 posts

#supernatural - 67 posts

#!!! - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i think about my original posts a lot and to see people still liking and reblogging the old ones makes me happy bc i get reminded of them!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

audra: it smells like henway in here.

mike:

bill: mike.

bill, forcefully: doesn't it smell like henway in here?

mike: *sighs*

mike: what's a henway?

audra: OH ABOUT TEN POUNDS!

30 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#4

ek playlist sentence starters part one

info: sentence starters from my eddie kaspbrak playlist (edit as you see fit):

violent - carolesdaughter

"i don't really feel like fighting"

"you say you miss me, so then i drive back to you"

"did you ever really love me?"

"i think that she's still lovely"

"i think we're both a mess"

"don't make me get violent"

heather - conan gray

"what a sight for sore eyes"

"she's got you mesmerized while i die"

"why would you ever kiss me?"

"i'm not even half as pretty"

"how could i hate her, she's such an angel"

"i wish i were heather"

el principito - ajj

"i despise every lie i've come to believe"

"i'm either too happy or fucking sad"

"i am always tied to the tracks of the train"

"desperately afraid of going insane"

"i don't know if i am capable of helping anyone"

"i am at the mercy of emotions of my better friends"

run boy run - woodkid

"run, boy, run!"

"this world is not made for you"

"they're trying to catch you"

"the sun will be guiding you"

"they're dying to stop you"

"this race is a prophecy"

See the full post

31 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#3

Richie: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

65 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#2

eddie kaspbrak and richie tozier ARE an autism 4 adhd couple and it this essay i will-

83 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

stan: look, i know you think my judgement's clouded because i like richie a little bit.

eddie, holding stan's notepad: you doodled your wedding invitation.

stan: no, that's our joint tombstone.

eddie: my mistake.

136 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rodjanikov]

Shit I hate about social media and how people post on it (or embracing being a hater)

"Nobody talks about how hard-" maybe because nobody fucking cares Kaitlyn

Inventing problems just for the sake of talking about something in the hope of stirring up drama

ANY P.O.V. POST EVER

"unpopular opinion" and it's the most shit take you've ever heard in your life

"restocking my fridge/pantry/cabinet/whatever the fuck", can't stand them, what's the fucking purpose

Hidden ai ads for every fucking thing

Any gym or fitness related video

Skits. I'm sorry, this isn't 2015 anymore. It's time to grow up <3

The entirety of TikTok

Any video of an American filming themselves complaining while sitting inside a car (i couldn't be paid to care)

Very specific but videos of young riders with their project ponies with blatantly fake phrases that quote criticism against them that no one ever said just to show a before and after consisting of the horse bucking/refusing and then jumping a line (just how much validation do you need honey?)

Sponsored posts. Any of them. It's just ads and I hate you

Doctor influecers??? What's up with that?? Girl go do your rotations

Any post made by a thirteen year old

Skin care videos (you will age and you will die and there's nothing you can do about it<3)

Life advice. Mind your business literally nobody asked (successful tips from a fuckin TikToker I'm cackling)

People whose content rotates solely around self-harm and making skits about it (it's so cringy, treat it like a real problem and again grow up, sometime shit has to be taken seriously)

rage bait

The fucking copy paste chat gtp captions that have spread through Instagram like the bubonic plague

People's opinions in general

Comment sections of every platform. Just bad

TikToks/reels with bad English (bother to check if you're spelling shit incorrectly, and it's usually something that people whose first language IS English do, it drives me fucking insane)

Thirst traps, except the silly ones

Those posts with ten million slides with mood boards like the trend "pretty like the stars/sun/snow" and shit like that. I feel my prefrontal cortex wither inside my skull every time I see one

Reaction videos. Do we really need them?

"if only there was a page-" if only there wasn't

Motivational posts made by ten year olds, shut up and play with your ipad, you privileged bourgeois child

Not.giving.fucking.context.or.explanation. (you are the fucking worst and I genuinely hate you)

Giving book/film/series recs and not including the fucking name. Like... what's your problem exactly

The entirety of twitter

"boy cat" "girl cat", do me a favor and kill yourself

Prank videos. Just why

People bothering workers/servers because it's "funny to post"

Adults not acting their fucking age (we need to eradicate social media as a job because why is James, 40, crawling on the floor or the subway screaming or throwing food in a restaurant)

Main character syndrome (I hope that the realization that you're a worthless waste of space comes to you while you're at your lowest and leaves permanent marks on your psyche, so much that you'll have to either shoot you head off under the weight of the blame or painstakingly repent for the rest of your life)

Extreme attention seeking (the fact that you hate yourself and your life is extremely empty is not my problem and I shouldn't have to deal with you filming yourself dancing on top of tables at the mall)

Censoring words with numbers or asterisks. Say the words you fucking coward. "But the post will be removed" so??? Are you willing to be censored???? Just because you said "death"???? Weak. Spineless.

Overly dramatic music over videos that really do not need it

People posting in third person. How fucking annoying can you be

This "😍" fucking emoji. For no particular reason other than I hate it

[portpebble]

[Image IDs: a seven panel Undertale comic to "Up the Mountain" by Regina Spektor, done mostly in sepia colors with red for contrast.

Panel One: Mt. Ebott as it is seen in the Undertale intro. "On the mountain, there's a forest".

Panel Two: A shot of the Ruins, specifically in the place where the human child fell down. The golden flowers have not yet grown, and the Delta Rune can be seen carved onto the ground. "In the forest, there's a garden".

Panel Three: a spotlight focuses on a large golden flower growing above some other, much smaller, flowers in the dirt. The flower looks a lot like Flowey, except that it has no face. "In the garden, there's a flower"

Panel Four: a pile of sunflowers, with one red SOUL in front of them. "In the flower, there's a nectar".

Panel Five: young Asriel Dreemurr, waving as he holds a flower in front of his head. His whole face is covered by the flower and a splatter of dirt. The background is a bright red. "In the nectar, there's an answer".

Panel Six: The True Lab room that has the DT extractor in it. The room is dirty and dark, while skull of the extractor is a haunting red. "In the answer, theres another".

Panel Seven: a full page, featuring Photoshop Flowey. He stares down at a single red SOUL before him, his eyes and gums also red. His TV screen repeatedly displays the words "and another, and another" in frantic lettering.

End IDs.]

hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry

[selenesheart]

dazed // d.m.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: smut, rough sex, praising kink, titty fucking, single dad!draco, single mom!reader, tension, cursing, unprotected sex, a bit of wine, a bit of spit, post hogwarts, modern au

summary: the tension between your son’s best friend’s dad and you was unbearable.

—————

“they said they’d be here by ten!” draco heard little scorpius’ voice coming from downstairs as he made his way down. draco smiled at scorpius’ enthusiasm, remembering telling him that you and your son would be there at any moment.

draco remembered when you two agreed on you bringing your 9-year-old son to the malfoy manor to spend time with scorp a few days back.

your son had told you that he wanted to visit his best friend at the beginning of the week, who was none other than scorpius malfoy, draco malfoy’s son.

after making plans with the malfoys, you mentally prepared yourself for what was gonna come. prepare for that cocky smirk and that harsh personality that you haven’t seen in at least ten years.

as your son mentioned the name “malfoy”, your memories rushed back in, all the glances, and flirty looks. you had to admit, draco malfoy was attractive, but you knew he was nowhere near good. well at least back then.

a couple of minutes later, an expensive-looking car arrived at the manor’s entrance. you and your son were inside of this car, looking rather excited, or at least your son was.

“merlin” the slytherin whispered as soon as you stepped out of the car, draco’s eyes landing on your figure, a figure of a goddess. malfoy examined every inch of your body, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, like he was being hypnotized.

but draco wasn’t the only one being hypnotized at the moment. you, too, were admiring his tall figure, from his perfect features to his arms that appeared to be noticeably muscular. he had changed.

you took a deep breath as the children greeted each other. blinking repeatedly, your vision rose to the blonde in front of you, giving him a polite smile as if you two haven’t spent more time looking at each other than usual, taking each other in.

taking a few steps, you extended your hand to greet the older malfoy, he took your hand in his rather big one, shaking it. his tall body hovering over yours, making your mind foggy.

his eyes lingered on your small, slight shaky hands, smirking at the slight size difference. your body had changed over the past few years, as well as your gorgeous face, he noticed. his face didn’t move at all as he scanned your face, it was like he was blocking any emotion from showing.

after backing away, you greeted the younger malfoy, bending over to reach his eye level. it took all of malfoy’s self-control to not let out a strangled groan, he adjusted his collar, letting out a low breath as he tried not to let his eyes wander down, which he miserably failed to do, letting himself catch a glimpse of your covered backside.

you got back at your feet, as draco took an unsteady breath.

“why don’t we all come inside the manor?” the tall man suggested as he opened the big, black door. with one last eye contact, you made your way in, the boys coming right behind you.

your breath hitched as you entered the enormous manor, mesmerized by the elegant chandelier, you examined the room, the many floors, the ridiculously long table in the guest room.

you chuckled lowly when you heard the little “woah” that escaped your son’s lips. smiling slightly at the cheeky smirk of the two malfoys. like father, like son, you supposed.

“let’s go to outside, ‘wanna show something!” scorpius spoke to your son excitedly. after checking with you if he could go to the garden, your son ran behind scorpius. giggles were heard from outside, making you smile slightly. then, it hit you; you were in the manor with a very tall, attractive man behind you. alone.

turning around slowly, you let yourself explore him with your vision. his sleeves were rolled up to his forearm, a couple of buttons undone, veiny hands in his trouser pockets. he looked so handsome, you thought.

“so— would you fancy a cuppa?” he offered, his deep voice breaking your train of thoughts. you looked up to him feeling embarrassed, he was smiling politely down at you. you returned the smile as you responded with a soft “yes, please”.

walking down to the kitchen, you felt draco's hand brush against yours, suddenly feeling hot, even when the room was freezing. you also took notice of his kind and polite personality, he wasn’t that rude 17-year-old boy that treated everyone like garbage.

“can you help me get those glasses on the top of the drawer?” he said as the two of you arrived at the large kitchen. you hummed a response while approaching the drawer that he was referring to just a couple of seconds ago, draco leaving to get a bottle of red wine.

you placed a hand on top of the counter besides the dark drawer, lifting yourself a bit to reach the said cups. your fingertips could touch them but it was no use, you huffed, the glasses were unnecessarily high.

you jumped slightly as you felt one of malfoy’s big hands on your waist, his tall figure— once again— hovering over you, reaching his arm to the top of the drawer. your backside pressed against his front, making him close his eyes slightly, trying to remain calm.

he grabbed the cups like it was nothing, using the hand that was in your waist to turn you around. draco raised the glasses to your face with a lazy smirk spread on his face, making you roll your eyes playfully, although your self-control was slowly getting out of your reach as his long fingers were spread out, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I could’ve reached that” you joked as his long fingers slowly let go of your waist, making that spot feel empty. “it seemed like it was too high for you” he responded along with a chuckle as he made his way to the kitchen counter, where the expensive wine was located. the blonde opened the bottle easily, while you sat down in the kitchen’s chair.

draco placed the glass in front of you, pouring the red wine inside of it. your eyes betrayed you as they made their way to his long fingers full of rings, unconsciously you bit your bottom lip softly, you let your imagination wander.

imagining how his fingers would feel, so deep inside of you, stretching you. how it would feel to have them in your mouth, preventing you from making any sound as he entered you from—

“is that good?” he asked innocently, breaking you from your naughty thoughts. you took a deep breath as you mumbled a “yes” to his question. you were extremely embarrassed, all things you were thinking of the man you haven’t even seen since high school.

the two of you chatted for hours and hours, drinking, enjoying each other’s company. laughing and just chatting about each other’s life in general.

────

“mum! can i stay for the night, please?” your son asked with his big doe eyes after you told him that it was time to go home. a sigh left your mouth, “in that case, i’ll come pick you up first thing tomorrow, alright?” you responded to his question, he nodded, a big smile on display.

“why don’t you stay with him?” malfoy spoke taking you off guard, turning around you saw that he was already in his pyjama pants, your breath getting heavy as you caught the sight of his exposed chest. you were about to decline his kind offer until you heard your son’s voice “yes please! stay in the manor with me!”.

“well— if there’s any room, i could stay for the night,” you sighed, “but, where am i going to stay, and besides, i have nothing to wear for bed,” you said worriedly. you furrowed your brows as you saw draco playfully roll his eyes.

“you could sleep in my room, and i’ll give you one of my shirts for you to wear” malfoy spoke softly, mentally smirking, already forming a plan in his head. your hands felt sweaty at the idea of sleeping in the same room as draco malfoy, in his clothes.

after the older man and the kids tried to convince you, you finally agreed. giving both boys a good night kiss on their foreheads, you rushed to malfoy’s room. finding no one in the room, you quickly grabbed his big white shirt and his boxers, making your way to his luxurious bathroom. you used a spell to help you clean your undergarments.

once you were done, you exited the bathroom just to find draco waiting for you in the darkroom. malfoy was mesmerized by the sight of y/n l/n wearing his see-through shirt, making your bra to be shown, causing his thoughts to go wild. all he wanted to do was rip his shirt off you and roughly massage your breasts until— he took a steady breath, containing himself.

soon enough, you were washing your face in the sink, ready to call it a night. draco stepped behind you, he extended his arm to his toothbrush in front of you. the once big room suddenly felt small.

once he was done brushing, he placed the toothbrush where it was before, causing his growing cock to make contact with your backside. you gasped as he gulped slowly, making eye contact through the bathroom mirror. hard, lust-filled eyes looking back at you.

biting your lips slightly, you turned around slowly to get a better look at his face. your vision rose to his eyes, innocent eyes looking up at him. draco had lost control. he got ahold of your cheek, bringing you up to a heated kiss. you moaned against his mouth as your fingers travelled through his hair. it all felt right.

any respectful or friendly behaviour towards each other was gone as you held tightly onto his broad shoulders, digging your nails into his skin.

the next thing you knew, the two of you were kissing, biting, licking each other like desperate animals. one of his hands travelled from your face to the end of his shirt, desperately taking it off your body, along with his black boxers.

draco groaned at the sight of your perfect body in a black set of undergarments, the sight of you looking up at him oh so innocently, the constant brushing of his erect dick against your clothed cunt. it was all driving him insane.

you arched your back off the bed, taking off your bra eagerly, breasts flowing free. malfoy wasted no time on grabbing your soft mounds, playing with them, kissing them, almost worshiping them.

“merlin— ” he breathed against your chest, the vibrations adding to the pleasure “i can’t wait to see your tits bouncing up and down” his words alone made you even wetter if that was possible. you were dripping.

you cried out as he took one of your nipples in his mouth, biting it softly. your hands were once again located on top of his head, your fingers threaded through his silky hair.

“‘m gonna fuck your tits, alright?” he asked—more like demanded— as you moaned softly at the thought of malfoy in top of you fucking your breasts. your panties started feeling uncomfortable now, you couldn’t control your arousal. you should’ve pushed him away, and tell me to stop, but you couldn’t, you didn’t want him to stop.

and now, here you were, your son’s best friend’s dad on top of you, ready to gain an orgasm from your tits, it felt like you were in heaven. he looked divine. his sweaty hair going everywhere, his dark pupils, toned body. such a beautiful sight.

he positioned himself on top of your torso, his muscular legs on either side of you. you looked at his face, waiting for his next move. he spat between your breasts, as he placed his throbbing cock in between. you grabbed each one of your boobs, bringing them together to create friction.

“that feels so good, darling argh—” draco groaned as he started moving his hips, front to back, causing his dick to leak some pre-cum across your breasts. his breathing got heavier as you stuck out your tongue to lick his red tip.

he moved faster while you moved your tits up and down, following his rhythm. it felt like he had died and gone to heaven, the feeling was unmatchable. he couldn’t wait to have your aching pussy stuffed with his dick. plus, the look in your face had him almost cumming right there and then.

but he fought the urge to cum in your tits. malfoy suddenly stopped and lowered himself to play with your folds, teasing you with his twitching tip.

“i want you inside me, please” you don’t know what took over but you pleaded like your life depend upon it. the infamous smirk was back at his face, a low chuckle leaving his pink lips.

“what do you want inside, darling?” he rubbed your desperate clit with one of his fingers, making you cry out in desperation “do still want my fingers?” he asked, causing you to furrow your brows. what was he talking about? still?

“oh don’t play dumb on me now. just a few hours ago you were wishing my fingers were inside your panties, fingering you. did you forgot about the legilimency spell, already?” he scoffed leaving you dumbfounded, he read your mind while you were thinking about him having his finger deep inside of your cunt. you gulped loudly as you looked deep into his eyes, looking for some type of sign that would tell you that he was trying to embarrass you.

but there wasn’t any.

“don’t you worry princess. you’re gonna get something even better” draco whispered as he winked down at you. your excitement level growing by the minute.

draco sucked on your sensitive breast as his hand made its way to his erect cock, gripping it while he teased your tight entrance. his other hand coming down to your thigh to expand your legs more. one of his thumb traveled through your glistening folds, smirking at how wet you were.

“i’ve never wanted to fuck someone so bad, until now” he breathed against your collarbone, your hands gripping his muscular forearms tightly. his words made you let out a soft moan before you realized.

he entered you as his mouth filled with praises, praises that made you clench around him in the most delicious way possible. after years of not having sex, this was all you needed.

“fuck— you feel so good, princess” he moaned lowly, your moans getting louder as he thrust in and out of your tight hole. one of your hands was placed on top of your mouth, trying to be silent.

“these walls are pretty thick. which means we can be as loud as we want” he spoke to you as he took your hand off your mouth and started thrusting his hips even faster. his grunts were the most arousing things you would ever hear.

his thrusts got harsher, making your tits bounce up and down repeatedly. loud whines and moans were heard coming from you as you dug your nails into his soft skin. his balls slapping against your skin while he circled your clit rapidly.

“you look so pretty with my cock inside of you, sweetheart. see how i’m filling you up?” he said with a hoarse voice. you whined ‘yesyesyes’ as he lifted your leg to his waist, the new position making him hit your g-spot repeatedly.

“you’re doing so good f'me baby— shit” the attractive man swore as he felt you clench around him. he fisted the bedsheets from the pleasure. his thrusts were getting rougher, balls slapping against your skin.

“are— ” malfoy breathed “are you clo—close?” he asked before he connected his lips to your overstimulated nipples once again. he roughly massaged the other breast, slapping it once in a while. his main goal is to make you cum before him.

“yes!” you gasped when draco’s big hands suddenly held your hips, lifting them to reach even further into you. he was going at an animalistic speed, you couldn’t even keep up.

“c’mon, come for me baby, show me how good you feel” he breathed against your lips, you grabbed the back of his head, pushing him down on you, kissing him roughly while you were thrown off the edge.

the two of you moaned against each other’s mouth as you squeezed malfoy’s cock tightly, milking him down. draco kept thrusting into you, his cum spilling out too, riding you out of your high. the blonde man disconnected his lips from yours as he pulled out.

the sensation of pulling out made you both moan softly, both cums dripping out of your hole and onto the bedsheets. draco was quick to collect the dripping cum and shove it inside of you with his fingers, causing you to arch your back off the bed and moan softly at the feeling of his fingers.

after catching your breath, you opened your eyes just to see the 27-year-old man that you just fucked beside the bed, who was already looking down at you with a sweaty face. and you would be lying if you said that his next words didn’t make you wet.

“i’m not done with you, yet. get in all four for me, darling”

—————

[tokillamockingbird427]

Since you made that post about getting back on your Son Lux kick, what's your favorite Royal Blood and Son Lux songs? I think I've asked for your favorite Son Lux song before, but I'm curious if you have any others! Or even song recommendations that you really enjoy

Top three Royal Blood Songs:

Ten Ton Skeleton. This is the song that brought me to the band, heard on a family road trip when I was something like 15? Liked it on the radio, remembered the song like a week later. After a furious google search of what lyrics I could remember, I found the song+band and quickly consumed the rest of their music. You Want me. God I love this song. It's not endeared to my heart like TTS, which is why it lands second instead of first, but it's so tasty. Opens right in with the most yummy riffs and lyrics. The ruffled chips+sour cream and onion dip of songs. Perfect for any occasion. Incredibly horny if you listen right. (Also a Logan song. Absolutely fucks as a Logan song.) Typhoons. Bit different from the other two songs in it's vibe, still yummy as fuck. I enjoy enjoy the "Swing and howl" of the song.

Top three Son Lux songs:

Flickers. Opening makes my brain go brrrrrrr. The whir is very pleasing. First Son Lux song I listened to, however I can't remember how I came across the band.

Dangerous. So incredibly and deliciously horny. Lyrics paint a very beautiful mental image. Also very much a Ghosts song. Literally says

But rest assured The dead are true believers Rest assured We are all believers

Are you dangerous? Found your way to my bed Spend fewer nights with the living Then I do with the dead

Like what do you expect me to conclude? Ghosts song. Nuff said.

Dream State. Ohhhhh nostalgia song. Oh this is such a nostalgia song. Also a Logan+David song, but they have to be together for it to be their song. Not a Logan song or a David song, it has to be the both of them. It's their relationship. (I could go into detail if asked.)

And despite them not being mentioned

Top three Glass Animals songs:

Flip. LISTEN. LISTEN TO THE SONG. The second visit to the main chorus is so fucking yummy. It's at 2:33, and if you listen to no other part of the song, listen to that part. (It'll hit better if you listen to it all though. 👀)

Youth. Like Dream State, very much a bitterley nostalgic childhood song. I dearly love bitter childhood songs btw. Therapeutic. (And also a David+Logan song. Like so much a David+Logan song that it's equal with DS as their song.)

Heat Waves. I WAS HERE BEFORE THE DREAM STANS. I don't care if I sound like I prick, I was here first bitches. Look, I think artists getting a viral song is a good thing, but I can't listen to this damn song without thinking of the Dream Stans and it's driving me insane.

I recommend to listening to all of the "How to Be a Human Being" album, as well as the "ZABA" album. Honorable mention to "Dust in Your Pocket" with the vampire vibes.

[golden-pickaxe]

Coffee (Part 5)

Fandom: Vikings

Paring: Ivar x Reader

Type: Modern AU, Office AU

Wordcount: 3619

Warnings: reader drinks wine casually

[Coffee - All Parts Here]

A/N: Here is part 5!

Tagged: @youbloodymadgenius​ @punkrocknpearls @mootiemoose​ @istorkyou @dini73​ @heavenly1927​ @hashimily​ @peakywitch​

Summary: You are a graduate student at the University of Oslo, and have applied for a job as a personal assistant at the Lothbrok Corporation, without really knowing much of the position advertised. When it turns out you are going to work for the (in)famous Ivar Lothbrok, your whole life is turned up-side-down.

With Ivar just wearing a t-shirt, instead of his usual well-cut suits, you could very clearly see the strong muscles in his arms, as you watched him pushing his wheelchair out of the pedestrian zone, towards the street. You had to swallow at the sight, hating yourself for the effect this man had on you.

 You walked along side him, finally realising what you had done. Just like a year ago, when the coin had dropped that you had really applied at the Lothbrok Corporation, it now dropped that you had just accepted his invitation to come to his home and let him cook for you. Him, one of the most influential businessmen of Norway. With his own fucking Wikipedia site.

Your heart was pounding rapidly in your chest at the thought, and you bit your lower lip, not quite knowing what this whole thing would mean now. And if it would change anything between you. You hoped not, but in the same way, you did hope.

 Getting your private life mixed up with your job probably was not a good idea. On the other hand, this whole situation kind of freaked you out, but in a good way. It was exciting.

 You and Ivar had reached the street, next to the national gallery, where a few minutes later the taxi arrived. Personally, you would never get a taxi in Oslo, as it was just insanely expensive, but with a lot of public transport, such as the tram you had taken to get here, not entirely being accessible to someone in a wheelchair, you could understand why Ivar had called it.

 Ivar maneuverered himself into one of the back seats, while the driver put his chair into the trunk of the car. You felt Ivar’s blue eyes watching you, as you rounded the vehicle to get into at the other side.

Even though he always successfully overplayed it, you saw that he was a bit self-conscious about his legs, often cursing them underneath his breath when they once again got into his way. He could move them a little bit, and also seemed to have some feeling in them, was even able to stand up for a few moments, if he could support himself with his arms. But in general, they did not really seem to be working.

In the office, Ivar hated to use his wheelchair, often just dragging himself from his desk to his sofa, his immense upper body strength enabling him to pull himself up with not much of an issue.

 Now, sitting next to you in the taxi on the way to his apartment, he readjusted his legs a bit with tight lips, appearing a bit nervous once more. You still could not quite wrap your head around what was happening right now, it all felt a bit like a dream to you. Just so, you managed to resist the urge to pinch yourself.

 Your boss, your grumpy boss, the infamous Ivar Lothbrok had just casually invited you to go out for coffee with him, had questioned you about almost every aspect of your life, paid for your drink, and now took you to his home to cook for you. It almost sounded like a very bad rom-com, like a romance story some bored, lonely woman would think up. Not that you expected it to end that way, of course. Even if you honestly wished it would.

 Until now, even if you sometimes chatted on business trips, your relationship had been purely professional, and you had only been over to his flat once, when you had brought him a set of suits to his home, when there had been issues with his dry cleaner. It had not really surprised you, finding out that he also lived in Majorstuen, actually not very far from you, although it had been a stress factor for you. Of course, he did not live in one of the old buildings, like you did, with paper thin walls, no elevator and wonky doors, no. He lived on the top floor of one of those new, fancy apartment buildings, costing a few ten-million krona, overlooking Frognerparken.

 When you had brought the suits up to his apartment, you had also met a famous Norwegian actor in the lift, so it was clear what kind of people occupied the other flats of the building. You had never been inside his home, had only delivered his suits to his door, but even the entrance and the lift had been very fancy and expensive looking. Admittedly, you had taken a stupid selfie in the mirror of the lift and posted it to Instagram.

 As Aker Brygge was, as stated, not far from Majorstuen, the drive was quite short, and the few minutes of silence were only broken by far too relaxing music coming out of the car radio. The taxi stopped in front of the apartment building Ivar lived in, and he paid the driver, while you got out, retrieving Ivar’s wheelchair from the trunk. You set it up and positioned it next to the car, for him to climb into.

 Ivar clenched his jaw a bit, obviously annoyed at something, even though you were not quite sure what exactly it was that he was annoyed by now, only hoping that it was not you. Well, at least you would have not far home now.

Ivar climbed out of the car, moving himself over to sit in his chair, before unlocking the breaks and rolling towards the door of the building, while the taxi behind you departed.

 Just as you remembered, the entry hall of the apartment complex was very posh, and you were reminded that this was a completely different world from yours. A different world from your shitty apartment, where you could hear almost every conversation your neighbours were having, and where you had push your full body against the bathroom door to get it to close properly.

 Following Ivar to the lift, the two of you got in, and Ivar pressed the button of the top floor. As soon as the doors had closed, Ivar’s eyes were on you, mustering you intently. His gaze was a tad intimidating, you had to admit, once again looking like a predator looking at his prey. Still, you managed to look back with a smile.

 “Are there any things you don’t eat, before I work my magic?” he asked, a smirk on his handsome face. You had to laugh at his choice of words, but told him about any dietary restrictions or things you didn’t like, and Ivar nodded.

 “Alright. I think I know what to make, then.” He leaned back in his chair a bit, biting how lower lip, a move that made your knees feel very weak.

 “Thank you.” It came out of your mouth, earning a very surprised expression from Ivar.

 “What for?” he asked honestly a bit confused, tilting his head at you.

 “For the coffee. And for inviting me over, and for cooking.” You studied his face, hoping to find something there, something that would give up his intentions, something revealing why he was doing this. You just needed to know, needed to know if you could get your hopes up or not. Was this really just a social call because you had been working for him for a year now, or was it something else?

 “Thank me after you’ve tasted my glorious food! Then I will gladly accept your thanks.” Ivar winked, and the elevator doors opened. Ivar left the lift, pulling his keys out of his pocket as he stopped at his front door.

 His flat was the only flat up here, and you guessed it had to be gigantic, covering the whole top floor. You were sure, his flat probably also had a roof terrace.

 You had to admit, this was another thing you found kind of intimidating about this man. The sheer amount of wealth he had, the wealth his family had. While you lived in a flat share with an old kitchen and horrible, tiny bathroom, with just a wet room and not even a proper shower, he lived in this extremely modern, borderline futuristic building, overlooking Oslo.

 Ivar opened the door, and pushed himself into the flat, with you following close behind, walking past him before he closed the door again behind you.

 Obviously you had imagined this place to be huge and expensive, but what you were seeing in front of your eyes was just.. something else.

It was less of a normal flat, and more of a large loft, most of the rooms merged into one big space. There was, similar to his office, a gigantic glass front overlooking the famous park, and West Oslo. The sun was still in the sky, the sunset not being for another one and a half hours or so.

 In the centre of the room was a big, beautiful white sofa, the kind where one could just stretch out like a starfish and not fall down. In front of it was a coffee table made out of driftwood and glass, the dark wood in stark contrast with the sofa. On the right of it were large, metal, urban looking bookshelves, filled with many thick books, some leather bound and old looking, dividing the living area from the ‘bedroom’, and there were a few doors opposite of the windows, that seemed to lead into extra rooms, probably the bathroom and other rooms.

 Behind the bookshelf you could see a large bed at the wall, so large in fact that you were sure that it could comfortably fit three to four fully grown people. It was covered and surrounded in white and grey furs, sheep and reindeer as far as you could tell from the distance. Furs also covered parts of the marble floor of the flat.

 There were many more furs on and in front of the sofa, and in general it seemed that grey, white and black, together with different shades of brown were the only colours in the whole apartment, making it look very sophisticated.

 On the left-hand side was a giant, very modern kitchen, seemingly equipped with everything a cook could wish for, with a large kitchen isle and a big table in front of it, a rustic looking piece of furniture, made of wood and carved with beautiful knot patterns, probably hand made by a very skilled Scandinavian carpenter knowing a lot about medieval woodcarving.

 The kitchen itself, you noticed, was lower than what you were used to, and while it confused you for a moment, you quickly realised that it was built so that Ivar could easily reach everything from his wheelchair, without having to get any help.

 “Welcome to my humble home.” You heard Ivar’s voice behind you, pulling you out of your thoughts. You swallowed and turned to him, looking at him as he watched you with a knowing smile on his lips.

 You could not hold back a laugh.

“Humble?” you simply asked, slipping out of your shoes and walking further into the big room, looking around.

 The whole flat was modern and elegant, yet had such a rustic and clearly Scandinavian aesthetic, it was truly impressive. Whoever was the interior designer, was truly a genius, and showed an amazing appreciation for medieval Scandinavian design. Similar works you had only seen in the Folksmuseet in Bygdøy.

 The walls that were not made out of glass were covered in picture frames, displaying either old Viking artwork or photographs of Norway and Iceland, of runestones and old temples. Somehow, it fitted in perfectly with the rest of the decoration.

 There was a door in the glass front of the flat, leading out, just as you had assumed, onto a large roof top terrace, furnished with even more rustic, wooden, and probably handmade tables and chairs, and, as cliché as it sounded, a beautiful hot tub. It was built into a frame, reminding you of a Viking ship, with a set of carved stairs leading up to it, probably so that Ivar had an easier time to get in and out of it, without requiring any help.

 “Alright, I admit, not so humble.” Ivar chuckled. “It was a present from my father when I started to officially work in the company. He had his friend Floki and his wife Helga design and build this whole thing.”

 That made you turn around to him once more. You knew these names.

“The Floki and Helga?” you swallowed.

 Floki and Helga were very, very famous, highly awarded architects and designers, often hired to design important landmarks and museums. Houses planned by them costing up to a hundred million kronas. They were famous for being able to combine the traditional aesthetics of their ancestors with the modern designs of this century, creating masterpieces that were rewarded all over the world. Now, looking around Ivar’s loft once more, it seemed obvious that this was their handy work.

 “Yes, The Floki and Helga.” Ivar chuckled. “The two of them almost raised me when I was a kid. With my parents busy all the time and me being bound to.. this.” He gestured at is chair. “Floki made all the wooden furniture himself. I am very lucky.”

 “Indeed you are.” You shook your head, unable to believe what you had just heard.

 Obviously, he had been raised by the two of them. Obviously, they had made his home for him, being like family to him, and being friends of his father, the most powerful businessman in Norway, and probably even all of Europe.

By now, you wouldn’t even question, if Ivar casually told you that he was descended from Odin.

 Ivar just shrugged at your words, although the expression on his face was a mixture of amused and pride. He bent down to slip out of his shoes, before moving his wheelchair over to a spot next to the door, where another wheelchair was waiting for him, this one looking a bit different, similar to the ones used by disabled athletes. Easier to navigate and probably a bit more comfortable. Ivar heaved himself up from his chair, navigating himself into the other one, a sigh leaving his lips.

 “I don’t fancy the dirt from the streets in my home.” He explained at your confused face, before he pushed himself towards you.

Oh yes, that made sense. Just as both of you had taken off your shoes, it would only be logical for him to also ‘change wheels’.

 A faint smile was on his lips, as he looked up and into your face, his expression soft and open, something you were not quite used to from him. His body language was relaxed too, his arms simply resting in his lap, as his head was once again tilted slightly.

He was truly a beautiful man, you had to admit. It was difficult to ignore, and sometimes you caught yourself staring in meetings, hoping that no one had noticed how your eyes had been practically glued to your boss. Solveig had made fun of you even more, when you had told her about it.

 “I think I’m going to start to cook now, before we starve to death. So, sit down, get comfortable.” He winked at you, before moving his chair towards the kitchen, in the process letting the wheelchair roll a bit, while he pulled his long hair into a tight bun at the back of his head. “Or would you like to help?” he looked back at you with a raised eyebrow, looking at you from underneath his long eyelashes. You had to swallow.

 “Well, I am still your personal assistant. So, I will assist you.” You smiled, following him into the kitchen. You hoped that reminding yourself that you were still his employee would calm your nerves.

 “I had hoped you’d say that, dove.” There it was again, that nickname. Your nerves were certainly not calm now.

 Ivar started to pull out pans and a cutting board, gesturing at the fridge for you to take out certain ingredients and washing them in the sink.

 You were not entirely sure what he was going to make, but you were positively surprised that his fridge and his whole pantry was stocked very well. You had to admit, you had taken him for one of those bachelors who had never touched their kitchen in their lives, and with all the money they had always ate out.

 But, as Ivar casually explained while you were preparing food, he enjoyed cooking for himself, and did so almost every evening.

While you were washing some vegetables, and he was skilfully cutting up an onion, he casually told you about the cooking schools he had visited when he was younger, and about the occasional dinner parties he threw for his close friends and family, where he cooked up five course meals for them all by himself. He moved around his kitchen as if he knew every millimetre of it, knowing the layout like the back of his hand.

 You enjoyed this far too much. You rarely saw Ivar this casual, only on business trips when he was not in the mood to talk about work anymore. And though you did not like to admit it, you were keen to know more about his personal life, to know more about the man behind the name Lothbrok.

 It was nice to see him here, in his home. He seemed so at ease, so open, the usual anger and annoyance he often seemed to carry around with himself in day-to-day life completely absent in this moment. This was his space, where he did not have to worry, to think about what upset him.

 This flat truly seemed to be his place, and his place alone. His kingdom far from the influence of other people. Here he was himself, independent of everyone else, everything built in a way that he did not need help from other people.

 Whatever else would come of tonight, you were just happy that you could witness this. You would see Ivar differently now, you knew. And would probably fall even more for him.

 You noticed it getting a bit darker out, and a quick look at your phone told you that it was already half past nine PM. It had not seemed that long, getting to Ivar’s home and starting to cook, as you had not even finished the preparation for cooking yet, but frankly, you didn’t even mind. The setting sun tinted the whole apartment in a magical, golden light, making it look even more beautiful and magical. Ivar’s face turned away from his work for a moment, his blue eyes wandering over the horizon, where the sky was slowly tinted in orange, pink and purple. A faint smile appeared on his face, before he returned his attention to the food.

 Absently minded you put your phone on the kitchen isle, before you grabbed a jar of mixed spices, which Ivar had instructed you to get for him while he was still cutting up vegetables. You read the label, not surprised that he had not purchased them in Norway, but in Spain, turning around, eyes still on the jar. Thus, you only noticed too late that Ivar was right behind you, his chair almost inaudible on the marble floor.

 With a slightly embarrassing yelp escaping your throat, you lost balance, tripping over Ivar’s wheelchair, falling over and landing straight in his lap. His strong arms were suddenly around you to keep you from completely falling to the floor, and your face probably had taken on a crimson shade.

 “Careful there, dove. I’m usually not that hard to miss.” He smirked, to your surprise not even remotely angry with you.

 You had once, in your third month at the Lothbrok Corporation, seen a small clerk run into him in the office, who had been a bit late and had not really paid attention. After Ivar had yelled at him for good twenty minutes, he had never been heard of again.

 “Gods, I’m so sorry, I..” but you stopped, swallowing, not knowing what to say. You tried to get up, the jar of spices still in your hand, but Ivar’s strong grip around you firmly held you in place.

 The man tilted his head, eye flickering to the glass container you were holding. He let go of you with one of his arms, while the other one was still around you, taking the jar from your hands and placing it on the counter next to him. His blue eyes mustered you once more. Your heart was pounding. In the light of the setting sun he looked even more handsome than he had already.

 “I have told you, that you look good today, right?” he asked, his voice low. His hand had returned to hold you again, and you noticed his fingers carefully caressing your back, which sent a shiver up your spine.

 Your mind was racing, as was your heart.

You could not but stare into his piercing blue eyes, not sure what to say, how to respond to him right now, or if you should say anything at all. You were unable to think even one coherent thought, as you felt his strong arms around you, his firm body below you, and his hot breath against you skin.. wait. When had he gotten this close to you?

 Before you could really comprehend what was happening, you suddenly felt Ivar’s lips against yours, not firm, but soft, almost shily moving against yours. In that moment, it was as if your mind just gave up, and turned itself off.