#top artist is Taylor but this is why on repeat did her numbers

[rachiller]

Spotify wrapped season is here and the only surprise is that every single top song is paramore

[hairstevington]

flowers and ink (part 6)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Steve plans his second date with Eddie, but before they go out again the group heads to the mysterious one-woman show, Pot of Gold.

(part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, link to Ao3)

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Tattoo artist/florist trope modern day au, you all know the drill by now, this chapter contains a lot of talk about marijuana but is otherwise wholesome and cute!

A/N: I'm BACK! Had to take a quick break for Steddie Week and also I saw Taylor Swift over the weekend but I am so happy to update this again! I've been holding onto this plotline for a WHILE and I am very excited for you to read. Also - to all those who've left comments so far, please know they make my whole day. Thank you so much <3

“Robin, I’m an idiot.”

Steve was pacing the floor after his date with Eddie, visibly anxious. 

“Why? What happened?” she asked, concerned. “Did the rest of the show not go well?”

“No, it went PERFECT!” Steve replied. “And then I had to go and tell him that I would plan the best date of his life for our next one, and what am I supposed to do? Like, did you see him up there? He’s a rockstar, Robin! He’s charming, and he’s hot, and he’s - like, what am I supposed to do? How do I top that? I can’t!” 

Robin stood and watched him ramble, nonplussed.

“You’re right,” she said. “You are an idiot.”

“Thank you, I know.”

“No,” Robin continued. “You’re an idiot because Eddie is clearly into you and no matter what you do he’s going to love it.”

Steve wasn’t convinced. 

“Sure,” he said sarcastically.

“Dingus, come on. Did you see what he did for you tonight? He obviously wanted to impress you, and he did.”

“Yeah, and now I don’t know how I’m going to impress him,” Steve replied. Robin sighed, then smacked him playfully on the arm. “Ow!”

“Idiot!” she repeated. “You’ve already impressed him. You’ll be fine.”

Steve thought about this, then shrugged. Robin was probably right. She usually was. It was annoying, but it kept him from self-destructing, so that was good. Before Robin, back when he was in high school, he used to do all kinds of weird shit to impress girls. He thought back on those times fondly, but it’s not like he could do any of that nowadays. 

Although, it did give him a bit of inspiration on how to update his old tactics. And then, he had an amazing idea.

“Oh my god,” he said. “I think I know what I’m gonna do.”

“Hallelujah,” Robin responded, unamused. “Can we talk about my thing now?”

Robin told Steve about her conversation with Gareth, and how they were all potentially going to go to the mysterious one-woman show the following night. Robin didn’t get Gareth’s number or anything, because of course she didn’t, so Steve had to reach out to Eddie to kick off coordinating the whole thing. 

-

Steve: Did Gareth tell you about going to see that play with Robin?

Steve: Also hi 🙂

Eddie: Hello! Yes he did. And by that I mean I asked him just now. Tomorrow?

Steve: Yeah, 7pm. 

Eddie: Cool. I’m in!

Steve: Awesome, I’ll let her know!

Steve: Oh also, just so we’re clear. This is NOT the date. 

Eddie: No?

Eddie: I’m imagining you surprising me by jumping on stage and announcing you’ve been the mystery woman all along or something

Steve: Hahahaha

Steve: I’m not a stage person like you, but I do have something planned

Eddie: Color me intrigued

Steve: 😘

Steve: Had a great time tonight btw

Eddie: Likewise :) 

-

To say Eddie was giddy would be an understatement. He was practically vibrating with excitement after he dropped Steve off, fresh off the high of both performing again and kissing an extremely hot guy. 

Eddie was truly living his best life. 

He walked into work the next day with a spring in his step. Eddie never walked with a spring in his step. He noticed Bob recognized the abnormal behavior from across the room, but thankfully the man minded his business. 

“Helloooooo Sonic,” Eddie said to the cactus as he took off his coat and put it on the rack. He sat down. “You’ll never guess what happened last night.” Eddie took his books and drawing tablet from his drawer, pausing for an imaginary answer. “Damn! How’d you guess? Did Steve tell you?” 

“Good morning, champ,” Bob said as he stood in the doorway. Eddie jolted back, blushing at being caught. “Love the energy, but maybe you should use that friendliness with the customer up front?”

“Got it, sorry,” Eddie said, rushing out of the office and to the waiting area. Bob just laughed to himself, then sat down at the desk to work on some spreadsheet about expenses that Eddie could never understand. 

Steve was making Eddie lose his mind in the best way. It had been a while since he’d felt this playful or silly. He used to be all kinds of theatrical, but he’d gotten a lot more subdued. Steve was reigniting that part of him, and it felt nice.

The rest of his day went by in a blur. He’d never been more charismatic and nice to the customers, even the ones he usually would find annoying. Bob seemed to approve of his attitude, and as a reward let him leave early. He had no other appointments anyway. This gave Eddie time to go home and get ready for this show - which, prior to this day, Eddie had no interest in. But Steve and Robin and Gareth and the rest of the guys would be there, and that made it more than appealing. 

He wanted to kiss Steve again. Badly. That was the one drawback about being around friends - Eddie was cool with PDA once in an established relationship, but he wasn’t about to suck face with Steve in front of other people when they’d only been on one date. That would be weird. 

Whatever Steve had planned better be soon - AND in private.

-

This wasn’t a standard theater. It was actually just a house. A house that had been repurposed, sure, but a house nonetheless.

“Is this the right place?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah,” Robin confirmed, double checking the address on her phone.

“There’s a sign over there,” Eddie said. They all walked towards the tiny sign with an arrow that pointed to a path that led to a door. All of it was very weird, but cool. 

“God, I love shit like this,” Gareth added with a grin. “Like, are we gonna get murdered or are we gonna see a show? Let’s find out.” The rest of the group laughed, and then they headed to the door. There was a tiny handwritten note.

Knock to the beat of your favorite song.

“What the fuck are we doing?” Eddie said, chuckling. “Who is this woman?” He was amused by the whole situation more than anything. Like Gareth, Eddie lived for weird situations. Plus, Steve had his arm around him, so honestly anything could happen at this show and he’d still be happy.

“Robbie, this is all you,” Steve prodded, motioning for her to do the knocking. She did so, knocking a specific pattern into the wall. Steve smirked, knowing which song it belonged to.

“So, what’s it from?” Gareth asked. 

“I’ll never tell,” Robin remarked. Steve considered revealing it, but held his tongue. Especially because, moments later, some guy with long straight hair down to his waist answered the door and spoiled it before anyone else could.

“Heyyy, Stevie Nicks! Excellent choice, my dude,” the man said as he high-fived a stunned Robin. 

“How did you know that?” Steve asked. 

“Wait, he got it right?” Eddie wondered. Robin nodded. “Damn. Do you always know the songs?”

“Only the best ones, amigo,” the man replied with a warm smile. “Come on in!”

The group looked at each other, dumbfounded, before walking into the house. They were led through a living room down to a basement, where a makeshift stage was set up. Chairs were in front of it. Nobody else was there yet. 

“Oh my god,” Robin whispered to Steve. “I can’t believe you wanted me to go to this alone.”

“I didn’t want you to go alone,” he insisted. “I just said you should go to find out what it was all about, because you were clearly obsessed with it.”

The man spun around, causing the group to stop in their tracks. 

“Alrighty, Brochachos,” he began. “My name is Argyle, and I’ll be your host on this lovely evening. This is my house, so any house questions I’m your guy. Bathrooms are upstairs and to the right. Pick any seat you want down here, and I’d highly recommend checking out the table back there for a fully immersive experience.”

All heads turned to the back. 

“Oh, shit,” Gareth muttered. “Is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s drugs, then ding ding ding my friend,” Argyle responded. “We’ve got a full spread back there. Joints, pipes, edibles. No pressure though if you wanna ride the sober train. Pizza is over there, but I will warn you it’s ham and pineapple. Try before you deny, folks. If you need me, I’ll be up there.”

Argyle disappeared back up the stairs.

“Okay, it’s official,” Eddie said. “This is the best day of my life.”

They raided the table of weed and then sat down in the middle of the room a few rows back. They waited until five minutes before scheduled showtime, and no one else showed up. 

Robin had never been more grateful in her life to be with friends. 

The lights dimmed. 

“Oh, I am so fucking ready for this,” Gareth said with a grin, already blazed out of his mind. A spotlight appeared on stage, and then the star of the show walked out. 

She had long blonde wavy hair and beautiful big eyes. She was wearing cargo pants and a tiny piece of fabric that could barely pass as a shirt. The woman got a joint from her pocket, lit it, and took a drag before speaking. 

“The first time I smoked weed I was sixteen,” she started. “I’d been having these horrible headaches and one of my friends suggested I’d try it out. Everyone was doing it. It was honestly weird that I wasn’t doing it.”

“Holy shit,” Eddie muttered. 

“What?” Steve asked.

“Shh!” Robin said. The woman on stage smirked. 

“So, I met up with this guy in the woods behind the school. He was known for being the one to go to for these things. And he says to me, ‘what can I do you for, Goldie?’ And I had no idea what I was supposed to say. Long story short, I tried every strain I could get my hands on with that guy for the next few weeks. Some helped the headaches, but some were just fun. And some -” She stood up and walked to a canvas on the side of the stage. “Some made me a really good painter.”

She continued to smoke and paint as she told her story. Her and this guy continued to hang out the rest of her time in high school, forming something of a relationship. She described it as being very powerful, and often thought of it as being her first love, but that they hadn’t spoken since graduation. She then went on to talk about how she moved to California after graduating and met Argyle, and all the adventures she’d had since. She opened up about her body dysmorphia, then finished the show talking about her journey to find herself and her sexuality. 

It was all incredibly captivating, and once the spotlight went out and she walked off stage, the group in the audience was left speechless. 

“Wow, that was…” Steve began. His high had faded halfway through the show, and he was so immersed in it that he didn’t continue smoking. “Way better than anything I could have imagined.”

“I think I’m actually in love with her,” Robin said with wide eyes. Gareth chuckled and murmured something to Eddie, who elbowed him in the ribs. “What?”

“Eddie, come on,” Gareth prodded. “Tell them.”

“Tell us what?” Steve asked. Someone cleared their throat beside them, and they all turned their heads to reveal the star of the show standing there, her hands on her hips.

“Eddie Munson,” she said, smirking. “I thought it was you.”

Robin and Steve’s jaws dropped. 

“Hey, Goldie,” Eddie responded. 

“Wait, what?” Steve exclaimed, his eyes bugging out of his head. 

“Hi,” Robin said softly with a slight wave. “I’m Robin.” The woman, Goldie, turned to Robin and fully looked her up and down, checking her out.

“Chrissy,” she responded. “Nice to meet you.”

Steve didn’t even have to look at Robin to know she was about to pass out. 

“So,” Eddie said, standing up. “I guess we all have some catching up to do.” The others followed suit, and then they walked as a group up the stairs and to the living room to sit down and talk. 

Apparently, Chrissy had gone to the same high school as Eddie, Gareth, and the rest of the band. Eddie and Chrissy had been extremely close, but then Eddie took off and never looked back after graduation. They only referred to it, but Steve could tell it was a sore spot. He wondered what exactly had caused Eddie to leave them all behind. That conversation would have to wait until at least the third date, though.

Eventually, the reminiscing died down, and the group decided to head out. Eddie told Chrissy where he worked, and mentioned when she could stop in. On their way out, Chrissy pulled Robin aside. Eddie smiled to himself when he overheard them exchanging numbers. 

Evidently, he wasn’t the only one who’d had an excellent day.

-

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD. Oh. My god!” 

Robin had been talking like that for about ten minutes now.

“She - she wants to go out with me. With me. And she - I mean, you saw her, right? She’s - like, holy shit. She’s perfect. I can’t believe this.”

“So,” Eddie said to Steve. “You think she’s gonna say yes?” Steve chuckled. 

“Robin, you’re hot as hell,” he assured her. “I’m not surprised at all.”

“Shut up, Steve,” she responded. “You have to say that, because we’re best friends. It’s like when mom says I’m pretty.”

“I think she just compared you to her mom, dude,” Gareth teased. 

“Okay,” Eddie interjected. “Well, I’m not your best friend and I agree with Steve. You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” Robin blushed. “But you’re dating my best friend, so you have to say that, too. Also, you’re gay.” Gareth chimed in next. 

“Alright, well I hardly know you AND I’m straight and Robin, for the love of god, know your worth. You and Chrissy are both goddesses and you’re perfect for each other.”

The group halted in their steps and turned to Gareth, stunned. 

“What?” he said. “I’m just telling it like it is.”

They each headed to their cars and split for the night. The band promised to come back to town at some point so they could all meet up again. It was a bittersweet farewell, especially for Robin, but at least there were a lot of ways to keep in touch with people long distance. 

Steve and Eddie walked hand in hand down the sidewalk together. This time, Steve was the one taking Eddie home. 

“So, when do you want to go out again?” he asked. 

“I’m free tomorrow,” Eddie replied. 

“You’d want to see me three days in a row?” Steve asked, delighted. 

“Don’t act so surprised,” Eddie teased. “You and Robin both need a little self-esteem.”

“There’s a reason we’re better together,” Steve explained. “And why we’re so codependent.”

“Right,” Eddie responded. “So, tomorrow?” Steve smirked, then kissed Eddie for the first time since their date the night before. They both melted into it quickly, craving the affection they’d been keeping themselves from. They broke from each other and smiled. 

“Tomorrow,” Steve confirmed. 

“Good,” Eddie said on an exhale. “Cuz I wanna do a whole lot more of that.” Steve chuckled.

“Oh, we will,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“Sounds good,” Eddie responded. 

Steve went home after that, then smoked the rest of what he’d picked up at the show. 

What an excellent day all around for everybody.

(next part)

---------------------------

@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingnscatworld @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @dangdirtydemons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @clumsiluni @hollysimone @swimmingbirdrunningrock @witchofhawkins @steddiegarbage @suddenlyinlove @ricekristytreaty @eddielives1986 @bunnyweasley23 @thefailcollection @ppunkpuppyy @bestwifehaver @httpsphynx @irregular-child @skjachukson

[septembersghost]

okay, this is partial mass catch-up of tag games over the past three weeks 😘💖💖💖

tagged by @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie and @moonlayl

name: jess

star sign: virgo

height: 5′3"

time: 12:21 am mountain time as i start to type

birthday: september 13

favorite bands/artists: this is always one of the hardest things for me to answer because i love so many...but on the constant and current list: taylor swift, harry styles, niall horan, (i mean...1D by default since 2019 i'm not sorry, they became a very real source of joy at a time when i was desperately sad and have remained so), fall out boy, fleetwood mac, lord huron, florence + the machine, frank sinatra, barbra streisand, ella fitzgerald, sara bareilles, gabrielle aplin, lady gaga, sasha sloan, lizzy mcalpine (she's new to me but i'm saying her considering i've listened to her so often lately), idk an infinite number of artists i'm forgetting...i love music.

last movie: oh gosh. it might've been tick tick boom, i've barely watched movies lately!

last show: only murders in the building

when did i create this blog: november 2020, but i've been around tumblr since 2011-ish!

what i post: LOL. sweethearts, my little chili babies, you have seen this blog. i post...anything that catches my fancy. all my favorite things. i post a lot. i need help.

last thing i googled: "bald cartoon villain" @arthurwilde knows why 😂

other blogs: all my previous three blogs still exist and i periodically login to them to try and keep them from being deactivated, but i'm not actually on them anymore (i've thought many times about going back to or reclaiming @saferincages because i still think of this blog as temporary and that blog as home, but it feels wrong to do it somehow)

do i get asks?: i do and i appreciate them!

following: 170

average hours of sleep: uh. unfortunately i have no such thing because cfs/me is a curse upon my existence

instruments: sadly no

what i'm wearing: pink floral bambi pajamas

dream job: so i used to dream of being a voice actor (or singing voice) because i thought it would be so fun to embody characters and be able to pursue my passion for music without some of the stage fright that accompanies it when you're live in front of an audience, but in a more realistic realm i really would have loved to do something with music therapy to combine the passionate part of it with being able to help people.

dream trip: the south of france (it will never happen, ya girl is housebound)

nationality: american 

favorite songs: how on earth am i supposed to answer this, it's impossible ;___;

last book i've read: the not so chosen one by kate emery

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: rivendell from lotr, naboo from star wars (except not during the empire), whatever world they live in in the nightmare before christmas where i can walk between halloweentown and christmas land whenever i please 🎃🎄

besties this is only 23 questions and it said it was 30, i don't know where the other seven disappeared to!

***

tagged by @newromanticstv

a couple of these were the same as the above, so i only left the non-repeats!

relationship status: spinster

favourite colour: dusty rose pink

song stuck in my head: doomsday by lizzy mcalpine

something i want: to not be so terrified and worried every day? laughing/crying

***

tagged by @rogerhealey

fave color: since i already said my pink, let's add periwinkle blue!

currently reading: the baby-sitter's coven, next is don't tell a soul

latest song: the game of love by santana ft. michelle branch

latest series: better call saul (rewatch and S6), breaking bad (selective rewatch), bates motel, omitb, i need to catch up with what we do in the shadows (@rogerhealy i love that your list was all classics)

latest movie: if it wasn't the aforementioned tick tick boom, it was spiderman no way home, andrew garfield supremacy

sweet | spicy | savory (have to be careful with spice bc chronic illness issues)

currently working on: nothing planned!

***

tagged by: @endlesslydeath

post my top 5 tracks rn!

as i said, music questions are so difficult for me because i'm too emotional and attached! and if this is by current top plays i don't actually know lol, but i'm going to say on most frequent rotation lately are - satellite by harry styles, all my ghosts by lizzy mcalpine, my love by florence + the machine, johhny can't decide from the tick tick boom soundtrack, this love (taylor's version) by taylor swift

***

i am not tagging anyone to do these since it's several haphazardly mashed together, but as ever, you're welcome to take any of them and tag me so that i can see! <333 🥰

[13uswntimagines]

Pressure (USWNT x Swift!Reader)

Authors note: This is part three in the swift life universe. I hope you enjoy it! Send me requests, questions or just hit me up if you wanna say Hi!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5

You were not usually a moody person. Yes, you were a little shy in crowded situations, but the team would say that your dominant personality traits were sunny and excited. Like a puppy, always running around and pranking people with the youngins, or cuddling into the closest veteran that you could find. 

Then, suddenly you weren’t. 

It had all started at family practice. Your entire family had made it, and you had been bouncing around like a toddler on a sugar high. Taylor had needed to leave early, but you understood and seemed excited to spend time with your brother and parents. You had been fine before you left for dinner with them. However, when the team saw you the next morning, your typically cheery demeanor was gone, and you seemed to tuck yourself back into your shell. That had been a week ago, and the problem only seemed to be getting worse. 

Practice was over for the day and while most of the team was packing up to head back to the hotel, you were lining up PK’s from all over the field. The vets were all watching as sweat dripped a little further down your face with each cannon-like shot you took towards the goal. 

“Is it just me, or is Baby Swift acting weird?” Alex asked, settling down on the bench being occupied by Krashlyn, Kelley, Becky, and Alyssa. They were beginning to get a little worried at how drenched your tank top was getting. 

“Totally not just you,” Ali winced at your frustrated yell when the ball ricocheted off the crossbar. You ran your hands frustratedly through your short hair, tugging hard on the strands. You mumbled something inaudible before slamming another ball towards goal. It too bounced off the crossbar. 

“She was out of the room before I even woke up this morning” Becky mumbled, as you chased after the errant ball, collecting in and sprinting towards the opposite goalline as though you hadn’t just gone through a crazy practice. 

“Y/n, willingly up before noon, there’s no way” Alex snorted. You might be known as a ray of sunshine, but you were most definitely not a morning person. The team learned the hard way not to mess with you before you had your coffee. 

“That cross was sick though” Kelley hummed as you rocketed the ball towards the opposite goal. It hit the back of the net with so much force that the metal rattled loudly. 

“If she kicks that ball any harder, she’s going to send it through the net,” Alyssa grumbled. Her chest hurt just thinking about trying to stop something like that. She could only hope you ended up on the red stars, so she wouldn’t ever have to worry about it. 

“Hm, why is she staying? Didn’t Jill release her early?” Becky’s eyes furrowed, as you collected the ball and began to run it back towards the opposite goal, acting as though you were faking out defenders and weaving through the midfield. The rest of the women shrugged. 

“Hey Linds, you know what’s up with the short stack?” Ashlyn called out to the blond who was paused midway through removing her cleat staring at you. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her head (like who gave you the right to look that good while drenched in sweat?) 

“No idea, but Sonnett might,” Lindsey hummed after a few seconds, her eyes still focused on the way the muscles on your arm looked as you clenched and unclenched your fists. She and Emily had all but told you of their feelings for you, and still, you were oblivious. They were probably going have to spell it out for you before you actually got that they were interested. 

“How about Alex and Kell go try and get some answers, we’ll see if we can work our magic,” Ashlyn mumbled, watching you worriedly. Yes, Alex and Kelley were your team moms, but Krashlyn had known you and your sister for longer. They also knew more about your family dynamics, and if that was what the problem was, they would have a better idea of how to go about fixing it. 

“Hey kid, want a challenge?” Ashlyn asked, placing a hand on your shoulder. You shrugged, inadvertently brushing the warm arm off you, and heading back towards the balls lined up just outside the penalty box. You didn’t have time to talk. Krashlyn shared a worried look at your clear dismissal. 

“Come on, where the typical smack talk about the Krashlyn department of defense?” Ashlyn tried again, this time snagging the ball from between your feet. 

“Not in the mood,” You huffed, your shoulders slouching as though they held the weight of the world. If you couldn’t keep the ball away from Ashlyn when she wasn’t even trying, then how the hell were you supposed to do it against someone like Kelley. You angrily shook your head, punting the nearest ball. Maybe your mom was right...

“You ok kid?” Ali questioned more firmly, stepping into your path and preventing you from rocketing another ball towards goal. 

“I’m fine. Are you playing or not?” You snapped, pushing her off of you and heading to another ball with your head down, completely missing the worried looks shared between the two women. 

Yes, sometimes you got whiny or grumpy, but you were rarely ever blatantly rude. It just didn’t seem to be in your makeup. 

“Hey, watch the attitude,” Ashlyn said with authority, again stepping into your path, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“We’re just trying to help you,” Ali murmured, coming up behind you and wrapping her arms around your middle. 

You Tensed at the contact, before relaxing back into Ali’s arms with a sigh. Here you were adding more on to their already full plate. Apparently it was the only thing you could do, bring everyone around you undo stress. 

“I don’t need any help,” You uttered lowly, wigging out of their grasp, and blatantly refusing to make eye contact with the women who were watching you with concern. 

“Hey, we don’t know what’s going on, but sometimes it helps if you talk about it,” Ashlyn whispered, taking a step towards your shaking form. You shook your head and let out a humorless laugh. 

“You can’t help me,” you said lowly, stepping up to a ball and sending it flying into the crossbar and back toward you. “Damn it!” You exclaimed, catching the ball and spiking it on the ground. You ripped your hands through your hair, grinding your teeth. 

Ali’s gentle hands grasped your wrists, carefully pulling your hands to her chest. Ashlyn’s finger tilted your chin up, forcing you to make eye contact with them. You could see the worry in their gaze, and you felt guilty that you were the reason it was there. 

“Maybe we cant, but it might make you feel better if you talk about it,” Ali’s soothing voice murmured. They didn’t know what was wrong, but the problem was bigger than any of them had thought before. 

“Trust me, it won’t,” You repeated, your voice filled with utter defeat, shaking your head and doing everything in your power to prevent the tears from dripping down your face. You wiggled out of their grasp, ignoring the worried stares on your back, and headed towards the locker room. 

****

After your talk, if you could call it that, with Krashlyn, the veterans were hoping that things might get a little better, but against all odds, it just seemed to be getting worse. Becky shot you a worried look as the entered the dining hall. You were sat all by yourself (something odd to begin with) surrounded by your laptop and about a thousand notebooks. It was a clear indication that you wanted to be left alone, another odd thing. You were usually clamoring over yourself to get a seat next to Sonnett or Lindsey. 

“I didn’t think little Swift was going to college,” She mumbled as she took her seat beside Alex at the table.

“She’s not,” Alex huffed worriedly, furrowing her eyebrows as she watched you.

“Then what’s with the 40 notebooks,” Alyssa asked through a mouthful of food. 

“I’m not sure” Alex shrugged biting her lip thoughtfully. “did you get anything out of Emily?” She questioned, finally tearing her eyes away from you to glance at Kelley. 

“Kid just said that Y/n had been avoiding her an Lindsey,” Kelley mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck. 

“She wouldn’t tell Ash and me what was wrong, but if she’s avoiding team blond over there it has to be pretty bad,” Ali added, watching as you ran an angry hand through your hair, cringing when she saw the pen marks that covered your left arm. You had to be writing for hours for that to happen. You grit your teeth, staring at the offending screen. 

“I’m going to go talk to her before she has an aneurism,” Becky murmured, cringing when you tore a page out of the book in anger. 

“I’ll come with you,” Alyssa said quietly. They were the calm ones, and you generally responded well to them when you were upset. Perhaps their soothing strength would be enough to get you to open up. 

“Hey kiddo, mind if we join you,” Becky asked, waving a tantalizing piece of chocolate cake in front of your face. She frowned when you nodded, barely even looking up at your favorite forbidden treat. 

She slid into the seat next to you, glancing down at the papers scattered on the table in front of you. 

“What ya working on?” Alyssa questioned, doing the same on your other side, her eyes widening at some of the titles on the pages spread before you. 

“Stats,” You said distractedly, flipping through screens on your computer. 

“These are our scoring, defending, and playtime averages for like the past 10 years!” Alyssa exclaimed, grabbing one of the notebooks that were further out from you. The notebook with her name written on it. 

“Hmm,” You hummed, squinting at the screen before jotting down whatever number you had been looking up. 

“Are these music stats too?” Becky asked confused, grabbing a different sheet with chart numbers from 2009. 

“Yeah,” You muttered back lowly. 

“Why the hell are comparing our averages to how artists and tracks do on the charts and how often they play at award shows?” Becky questioned, placing a finger under your chin and forcing your attention away from the numbers on the screen. You sighed. You didn’t have the time or the willpower to explain it to them. They wouldn’t understand. 

“I’m just checking…” You huffed, finally making eye contact with the woman, your shoulders slumping. She could see the sadness that seemed permeate through every part of your being, it was a sadness that she couldn’t place or ever remember seeing before. 

“Checking what? How you compare to the rest of us and other people in the music industry?” Alyssa’s voice was soft, like a protective blanket, as it probed you for more information, her hand resting on your shoulder. 

“Not people,” You grumble, your frustration leaking into your tone. 

“Who, Taylor?” Becky asked gently. You nodded slightly, squeezing your eyes shut, as though the action physically pained you. Becky’s eyes furrowed, why the fuck were you comparing your stats to your sister’s. She thought that you had gotten past this. 

“Look, as much as I love being interrogated, I’m trying to…” You grumbled, pulling your face out of Becky’s grasp, and staring down at your hands. 

“Trying to what?” Alyssa pushed, carefully moving a stray strand of hair from your face. You opened and closed your mouth several times, as though you were trying to find the words to describe what you were doing. Becky and Alyssa watched you, biting their lips and praying that you would open up to them. The didn’t like mopey Y/n, and they would do whatever they could to help you. 

“Just forget it,” You said finally, closing your notebooks and picking them up hastily. You shook your head. 

“Wait, kid,” Alyssa gently grabbed your arm before you could leave “you know we’re here if you ever need to talk?” She finished, and you met her worried eyes from a brief moment. 

“I don’t want to be more of a burden,” You whispered back hoarsely. Alyssa and Becky shared another set of confused looks. 

“You’re never a burden kid. Who made you think you were?” Becky quired, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. You were the baby of the team, and insecure enough to begin with, whoever the fuck told you that you were a burden was about to find out what happens when you messed with their little one. Your eyes widened at the admission. You shouldn’t have said that. 

“It doesn’t matter. Just forget I said anything,” You said far too quickly, grabbing your things and twisting out of their grasp. The two women sighed, at least they knew a little more about what was going on. 

*****

You couldn’t avoid Emily and Lindsey for forever, and after they demanded you come to their room for a movie night, you couldn’t find it within yourself to refuse them. Sure, you usually loved spending time with them, but after all of the things your mom said, you knew that they would never want you the way you wanted them. Why would they? 

“Hey babe, have you seen these tweets,” Emily laughed at her phone, and you glanced over at her disinterested, shrugging your shoulders. You weren’t big on social media in the first place, and after everyone found out about your relation to Taylor, you were even less of a fan. Her fans always thought it was funny to spam your page with compilation after compilation of your worst soccer fails. 

“They made compilations of our greatest fails, and you’re in like half of it,” Emily snorted, and Lindsey clamored over to her, trying to see some of your worst moments. 

“You know we were the ones in blue right?” Linsey giggled, after what you were sure was you missing a pass in an important game. But that wasn’t the end, the hits just kept on coming. They took turns pointing out your soccer missteps and joking about why they had happened with things like: “It’s supposed to go in the goal babe, not over it,” or “You got tripped by a ghost,” and your personal favorite “Aw, you look so cute when you’re faking a foul,”

They had laughed until tears had welled up in their eyes. You had played along, resorting to hiding behind a polite smile, and passing off your tears as the same as the ones your friends. You would never tell them how much it had hurt to watch them giggle as you failed at the only thing you had ever been confident in doing. It hurt to watch them joke about how you should turn these moments into a highlight reel for how to not to make it on the National team. Lindsey had even commented that maybe your inability to find the back of the net or beat the defender on a few occasions was the reason why your older sister’s talents had so often eclipsed your own. They had meant it in good fun. You knew that. They loved you and were probably only doing it to make you laugh and get you out of your funk. The problem was that you didn’t find it funny.

“Hey guys, I promised I would meet Kellex for dinner, so I gotta jet,” You interrupted after what you deemed to be an acceptable amount of time, hoping that your voice wouldn’t break. 

“Okay,” The woman shot you a smile, waving you off, and you excused yourself. Your shoulders slumped farther. You knew you didn’t have a chance with them, but you still didn’t like it when they threw it back in your face all of the time. 

*****

You took a deep breath of the cool night air, taking solace in the field that had always been your haven. It had always been the one place where you were more than just Taylor’s little sister. The one place that you had even a remote possibility of making your mother proud and proving to your parents that you weren’t a failure. Yes, you should have told someone from the team that this is where you would be. Yes, they would be upset, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. 

You growled, setting up another shot. Vlatko didn’t think you were good enough to play in the scrimmage at practice, so you were going to work your ass off until you could prove him wrong. Taylor had flown out here for nothing. Your mother had taken the opportunity to try to make you See that your soccer career was to be short-lived and without a college degree you were going to end up a slouch mooching off of your older sister’s success. You were going to do your damndest to prove them all wrong. 

“You know, if you kick it any harder, you’re going to break the net,” Kelley’s voice startled you out of your focus, causing you to send the shot wide. 

“You know it’s easier to score when it’s not 2 AM right?” Alex said as you turned to look guiltily at the women. You shrugged noncommittally, setting up another ball. 

“How’d you find me?” You asked, glancing over your shoulder at your team moms. 

“Just ‘cause you don’t use Snapchat doesn’t mean that the rest of the world doesn’t either,” Kelley laughed wiggling her phone in your face, and you blushed. You were probably one of the only Millenials in the country that had no idea how the app worked. You rarely ever used it, and only kept it on your phone because Emily had put it there. 

“Wanna tell us why you’re out here sooting PK’s so late?”Alex questioned, placing a hand on your shoulder. You sighed, focusing on rolling the ball between your feet. 

“My sister flew halfway across the country to watch me sit on a bench for two hours,” You said quietly, flipping the ball up on your toebox and rocketing it towards goal. Alex and Kelley’s eyebrows furrowed. Kelley opened her mouth to interrupt you, but Alex held her hand up to stop her. You needed them to listen right now more than you needed their reassurance. 

“And my mom threw a shit fit because I told her that I’m in talks with Portland about playing for them next season instead of going to college,” You rumbled, firing another ball towards goal. 

“And the fans won’t stop throwing all of my fucking mistakes on the field in my face,’ Your voice raising, ripping your hands through your hair, shrugging off Kelley and Alex’s comforting hands. 

“And Emily and Lindsey will never see me as more than a little kid just trying to keep up with them,” You finished with a yell, firing another shot towards goal. 

“Stop, Y/n Y/m/n Swift. First and foremost, you’re insane if you don’t think that those two knuckleheads are as into you as you are to them,” Alex said firmly, placing both her hands on your shoulders and forcing you to look at her. 

“Second of all, you didn’t get the full 90, but you scored two goals in the 20 minutes that you were playing,” Kelley reassured, wrapping her arms around you from behind, placing her chin on your shoulder. 

“And third, don’t listen to what anyone else says. You are freaking incredible, and even though it’s going to suck playing against you, the Thorns are lucky to have you,” Alex finished, placing a comforting kiss on your forehead. 

“There’s just so much pressure, and I can never ever be nearly as good as Taylor is,” You sighed, tears of frustration leaking down your face. 

“Babe, we’ve been through this. You are your own amazing person, and the talents that you have are different from the ones that Taylor has. You’ve won a world cup,” Alex said, using her thumbs to wipe the tears from your eyes. 

“And she’s won multiple Grammys” You responded lowly. 

“You can’t compare the two,” Kelley stated firmly, squeezing you a little tighter. They knew that you were always trying to prove yourself to everyone, but they didn’t know how to show you that you didn’t have to be Taylor. Your worth had nothing to do with how you compared to her. 

“You are incredible in your way, and we’re all here to support you,” Alex said, pulling you into a hug and letting you cry into her shoulder. They weren’t sure how long they stood there in the middle of an abandoned soccer field holding you, but they knew that this was what you needed right now. They would work on your confidence and the issues later. Right now you just needed to know that they were there and they weren’t going away. To know that you didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone anymore. They and 21 other women were there to help you, and together you would show the world that You might not be Taylor, but you were a worthy Swift in your own right.

[altair-native]

My Top 10 Albums of 2020

Now that the longest and craziest year in history is finally over, I figured now would be a good time to reflect and look back at some positive things from 2020. Despite concerts and tours being cancelled, and many bands and artists postponing albums due to not being able to promote them, there was a lot of really fantastic music released this year. Here are some of my favorites!

Honorable Mention: Money Money 2020 Part II by The Network

Green Day members Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tré Cool (plus some friends) brought back an old side project from 2003 this year called The Network. This album is a follow up to their debut album Money Money 2020, and was a huge surprise. I wasn’t sure where to put it on my top 10 list, but I still wanted to talk about it because it ended up being much better than the actual Green Day record we got this year. They experiment with lots of different sounds on this album, and while some of them are definitely meant to be satire, there are some seriously great songs on here that give me hope that future Green Day albums could be much better.

Favorite Song: Fentanyl

Now, on to the top 10:

#10 Last Room by waveform*

The first of many surprise additions to the list, Last Room is a really great album stocked full of songs that are all pretty short, but each stands out on its own. waveform* is really good at making songs that capture the listener’s attention. This is definitely a band that I want to hear more of, and I’m excited to dive deeper into their discography this year! 

Favorite Song: Miner’s Lullaby

   #9 Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams

After years of being in Paramore, Hayley Williams has finally released her first solo album! Paramore’s 2017 album After Laughter experimented with lots of different sounds, and was also a very personal record lyrically, so it’s no surprise that Hayley took a similar approach here. These songs are a way for her to open up about her life and branch out more and she succeeds on this record. Even if you’re not a fan of Paramore I highly recommend checking this one out.

Favorite Song: Why We Ever

   #8 Some Still Morning by Handsome Ghost

I’ve already talked a bit about this album (it was even my first review on this blog!) but I feel like the more I’ve listened to it, the more I’ve started to love the songs that first stuck out to me. I still feel like some of the songs sound a bit too similar, but when the duo branch out and try new things on this record, it’s some of their best work.

Favorite Song: Christmas In Jersey

   #7 Healer by Grouplove

Something that has always been true about Grouplove’s music is that it is insanely catchy, and this holds true with their newest record Healer. I’ve liked a lot of their music before, but for some reason this album connected with me on a way that their other music hasn’t. I feel like this album came out at the perfect time for me, because it has a lot of themes about growing up and dealing with the crazy world we live in. If you’ve never listened to Grouplove and want to check them out, I think that Healer is definitely a good starting place.

Favorite Song: Hail to the Queen

   #6 Folklore by Taylor Swift 

I’ve had a history of really disliking Taylor Swift’s music, especially her earlier albums. I guess for those it was due to overexposure, but with some of her more recent albums (especially 2013′s Red) I actually found there were certain songs I actually liked. Her albums as a whole, however, have always felt bogged down by their singles which often don’t sound like they fit with the rest of the album. When I heard she had announced an album coming out that night, I was very curious. After listening to it, Folklore fixed every issue I’ve had with her previous albums, and I love how she’s shifted her lyrics to focus on telling stories. I didn’t expect a Taylor Swift album to end up on my top 10 list for any year, but 2020 was definitely full of surprises!

Favorite Song: Seven

  #5 Possession by Joywave

I had discovered Joywave one day on YouTube by accident, and immediately wanted to hear more from them. Their songs are always so unique and creative, and after seeing them open up for Bastille in October 2019, I got really excited for their third album. They have incredible energy on stage, and that energy is reflected perfectly in their music, especially on this album. It was one of my most anticipated records of 2020, and it seriously lived up to the hype.

Favorite Song: Half Your Age

   #4 Figure by Into It. Over It

Yet another accidental discovery, Figure blew me away the first time I listened to it. I was immediately drawn in from the first track, and each song delivers something truly special. I had to listen to this album all the way through multiple times to really take it all in. I planned on doing a full review of it here, but felt I needed to look into the lyrics and the meanings behind the songs a little more to fully understand it. Now, Into It. Over It has been on repeat for a good chunk of the past couple months.  Evan Thomas Weiss is an incredible songwriter and really talented musician, and I seriously recommend checking out his music.

Favorite Song: Brushstrokes

   #3 Leave What’s Lost Behind by Colony House

Colony House are a band that I discovered a few years ago, and their first two albums quickly became favorites of mine.Their intriguing instrumentals along with Caleb Chapman’s powerful vocals make their music really fun to listen to, and like Joywave they put on a fantastic show even when they’re just the opening act. I had been looking forward to the follow up to 2017′s Only The Lonely, and this record definitely lived up to my expectations, even if I prefer the latter album a little more. There are definitely some incredible songs here, a few of which are among the best in Colony House’s discography.

Favorite Song: The Hope Inside

#2 Zeros by Declan McKenna

For whatever reason, I didn’t listen to this album when it first came out, but when I did eventually get around to listening to it I fell in love. Declan McKenna has always been a really great songwriter, but this album in particular shows just how talented the 22 year old singer is. Blending sounds from different eras of rock along with some more modern production, Zeros is an absolute masterpiece of an album.

Favorite Song: Twice Your Size

   #1 Dreamland by COIN

Even though Zeros got really close to taking the number one spot, my personal favorite of the year is still COIN’s third album Dreamland (not to be confused with the Glass Animals album of the same name also from 2020). COIN is a band that just keeps on getting better, and even after losing a member back in 2018, they’ve still managed to grow and improve their sound. Dreamland takes everything I’ve loved about COIN’s music and adds to it. If you haven’t listened to this album and are a fan of indie pop bands like Flor, Smallpools and Young the Giant, then you should definitely give this album a listen!

Favorite Song: Nobody’s Baby

   Thank you for checking out my list of my favorite albums from this past year! I’d love to know what you guys think and if we have any of the same albums on our list :)

[goddamnitkastle]

A Distraction from This Hellscape™ Questionnaire

Thanks for the tag @carry-the-sky! Am I filling out this questionnaire to avoid my very pressing, very real world problems? I won’t tell if you won’t 🤫

Name/Nickname: Megan/Meg

Pronouns: She/Her

Star Sign: Sagittarius baby ♐️✨

Height: 5′3″

Time: This will be posted at 3am (The queue time is a reference to The Punisher fwiw) but I am honestly filling out this questionnaire throughout the day. Time is a construct people.

Birthday: November 30th

Favorite Bands: Florence + The Machine, Fall Out Boy, Mumford & Sons, The Civil Wars, Evanescence, Counting Crows, Fleetwood Mac, The Goo Goo Dolls 

Favorite Solo Artists: Dermot Kennedy, Hozier, Halsey, Taylor Swift, Sara Bareilles, Charlene Kaye/KAYE, Noah Gundersen

Song stuck in my head: Well before my life became consumed with apartment hunting shenanigans, this cover of Johanna Quartet from Sweeney Todd by SUF/SOND was on repeat.

Last Show: Shadow And Bone is so good! Also Prodigal Son is the shit, please don’t let it die a cancellation death 🤞🏼

Last Movie: Those Who Wish Me Dead. It was alright, Jon was the best part obviously.

When did I create this blog: July 2016 so the Kastle train was already chugging along and I hitched a ride lol

What do I post: My Kastle gifsets and edits, my subpar Kastle fanfiction, Kastle insp posts and songs, and a lot of questionnaires.

Last thing I googled: Shopping for a desk and chair to buy for my WFH set up in my new apartment.

Other Blogs: If you head over to my main blog, meganerin, 99% of my content lately was me going feral over Prodigal Son (WHY WAS IT CANCELLED SERIOUSLY 😭).

Why I chose my URL: Because this ship. Goddamn it.

Do I get asks: Not a lot but I love when I do!

Following: I am following 469 blogs from my main blog, meganerin.

Followers: I have 247 followers on my main blog and I have 1,793 followers on goddamnitkastle.

Average hours of sleep: Getting like 7 1/2 - 8 hours now? A corporate job will do that to you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Lucky Number: 2

Instruments: I would be scared to see how much I still remember at this point but I still consider myself remedial/basic level on piano and guitar.

What am I wearing: Leggings and a tank top. My official Summer WFH uniform.

Dream Trip: Ireland and Italy are my top two. But I cannot wait to start traveling again, I want to go to all of the places.

Favorite Food: I’ve been craving sushi lately. But this is such an impossible question to have a definitive answer to, I’m sure it’ll be different if you ask me again in a day or two lol

Nationality: Like my pal Haley, I am also unfortunately an American 😬

Languages: English

Favorite Song: Love Gone Wrong by Wild Rivers was my other song obsession before I entered this apartment hunting hellscape and God, they just do not miss.

Last book read: Still terrible at reading but I have gotten super into podcasts over the course of this global panorama. Check out Guilty Pleasures, Song vs. Song, and MusicalSplaining.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Please propel me to the Shadow and Bone universe stat, I want to be a Crow and kick ass. I would also not mind being propelled to either the Star Wars universe or the Avatar: The Last Airebender universe.

Tagging (no pressure!): @thevampirecat @brenli @witchygagirl @joanofarkansass @evilbunnyking @152glasslippers @captainkilly and anyone else that wants to do it!

[thirstworldproblemss]

35 Questions Tag Game

I’m cheating: I was tagged to do 17 questions by @fromthedeskoftheraven and there’s a lot of overlap with the 30 questions that have been sitting in my drafts since I was tagged by @songsformonkeys several weeks ago, so instead of doing both or ditching one, I’m gonna do a mashup.

Thanks for thinking of me, friends! 🥰😘 (Sorry I’m bad at following directions!)

Rules:  answer 17 30 35 questions and tag 17 20 some blogs you want to get to know better

Name/Nickname:  I’m trying to keep my name off this blog for plausible deniability reasons (I have a young teenager who is out here in the wilds of the internet reading fanfic, and we'll both be happier if she and/or her fanfic-reading friends don’t find out for sure that I write smut fics just yet or... uh... ever.)  You can call me thirst or twp, I guess? (Or by my actual name in chats & msgs that aren't public ; )

Gender:  female (she/her)

Star sign:  Libra

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw, probably?

Height:  5′ 5.5″ (approx 166cm). I always hoped I’d hit 5′6″, but at this point, that ship has sailed. I'm shrinking if anything

Time:  8:31am

Birthday:  mid October

Favorite bands: Beach Boys, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Nico & Vinz, REO Speedwagon & basically anything from the 80′s, Walk the Moon.  (My music tastes are eclectic, and there’s not a whole lot I don’t like.)

Favorite solo artists:  Matt Nathanson, Prince, Rihana, Taylor Swift (one of the few artists all of my girls & I can agree on) 

Song stuck in your head:  ‘Some Things Never Change’ from the Frozen 2 soundtrack (#momlife)

Last movie:  Kronk’s New Groove (#sameasabove)

Last show:  The Mandalorian 

When did I create this blog:  June 2020

What I post:  Mostly Pedro Pascal character gifs, fan art & fanfic.

Last thing I googled:  converting 65.5 inches to cm

Why I chose my url:  ‘Cause I like puns/wordplay and it... uh... seemed like a good idea at the time?

Other blogs:  Yep, several! Main is here, but don’t bother tagging me over there, 'cause I wont see if for like a month (if at all(

Do I get asks:  Some and I love them!!

Following:  991 (so yeah, tag or msg me if you want to make sure I see something)

Followers:  395 on this blog

Average hours of sleep:  My sleep schedule is shit and ranges from 2-12ish hours/night), so who tf even knows anymore. 

Lucky number:  not sure I have one... maybe 11?

Instruments Played:  Piano very poorly

What I’m wearing:  purple henley over a tank top and jeans

Dream job:  I dunno... zookeeper? librarian? studio artist? voice actor? author/artist of children’s picture books?  (I still haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up)

Dream trip:  One of my cousins took a year off after college and spent the entire time traveling, visiting something like 40+ countries as he circumnavigated the globe, and that sounds pretty fantastic!  Otherwise, maybe something lazy and tropical where someone else manages all the planning and logistics (I am but a tired, stressed-out mom...  I just want to nap the day away until someone calls me for dinner). 

Favorite food:  Mexican (though that gets a little tricky now that I’m not eating dairy)

Nationality:  American

Favorite song(s):  This changes frequently, but current things on repeat are:  Van Horn by Saint Motel, Uncharted by Sara Bareilles, Holding Out for a Hero from Shrek 2, Oh What a Night by the Four Seasons, Downtown by Macklemore, Africa by Toto

Favorite author(s):  Jane Austen, Tolkien, Tamora Pierce, Steven King, Sandra Boynton, Dr Seuss, Shakespeare, Shel Silverstein, Simon R Green, Mercedes Lackey, Edgar Allan Poe, Terry Pratchett, Rumiko Takahashi, and so many others.

Last book:  Ahahahahaha... “real” books... in this economy?  Can I count the Boxcar Children Mystery I started the last time I forgot to take my phone with me to the bathroom? 😅  ...or Simplicity Parenting (reading it for a parent book group run by one of my kids’ teachers)?  These days, when I have time to read for fun, I’m all about fatnfic.

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in:  Star Trek tos, Dinotopia, Xanth

Aesthetics:  comfort, green plant life, water flowing (oceans, rivers, lakes), animals, overcast days, the sky, blue green, lots of soft pillows

Favorite animal noise:  cat purring

Random: Our heater is on the fritz, so it’s very cold in our house right now!

Zero pressure tagging (you can do 17, 30, or all 35 questions), and anyone else who wants to do this should consider themselves tagged & tag me when they do it!): @abuttoncalledsmalls @alwaysbethewest @anxiety-riddled-mando @frannyzooey @goldafterglow @heatherbel @immortalstarme @ithinkwehitametaphor @javiers-tac-vest @keeper0fthestars @knittingqueen13 @ladyblogger-margie @no-droids-on-sunday @remmyswritings

[aish-rai]

tag game

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Tagged by @cresmix my angel

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this, I’m super lazy :(

Name/nickname: Brooke/Brookie/B

Gender: she/her

Star sign: capricorn

Height: 5′6″

Time: 9:29 pm

Birthday: January 7th

Favourite bands: Florence+the Machine? I’ll be honest, idk who makes up the Machine.

Favourite solo artists: Lana Del Rey, Hozier, Taylor Swift, Lizzo...fuck if I know, I basically just listen to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack on repeat

Song stuck in my head: Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Last movie: The United States vs. Billie Holiday

Last show: Peaky Blinders

When did i create this blog: sometime in 2009

What i post: film+television

Last thing i googled: Noah Wyle’s filmography

Other blogs: @aishwaryadaily and @bollysnapped

Do i get asks: not as many as I used to lol

Why i chose my url: it’s a pretty apt description of my favorite content

Following: 852

Followers: 5,235

Average hours of sleep: 6

Lucky number: 9

Instruments: lmao

What am i wearing: a really hideous sundress

Dream job: sugar baby? cinematographer? victorian ghost?

Dream trip: Greece and Ireland

Favourite food: pasta

Nationality: 'Merican

Favourite song: Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison 

Last book i read: I’m reading the first Bridgerton book

Top 3 fictional universes I’d like to live in: Harry Potter, the afterlife from The Lovely Bones, and uhhh...Atlantis?

[goldfishh]

thirty questions that actually aren't exactly thirty questions: tag game!

tagged by: @windymoor thank u raven <333

rules: answer 30 questions and tag some blogs you want to know better

I’m tagging: @horrorgay @virginalbehemoth @credentiast asjsskskdkk if yall want! + ofc anyone who sees this and wants to tag their own ppl

name/nickname: fiona

gender: f

star sign: libra 😞

height: 5′1″ short king

time: 10:49 PM

birthday: questions that get ur identity stolen. it’s oct 10

favorite bands: i had to go browse spotify for this lmao i guess i dont follow a lot of bands. i have a LOT of the family crest and oh wonder on my playlists. every few months i’ll put my two fave fall out boy albums on repeat

favorite solo artists: fjfhwjfwklwjk i am also pop indie basic but like BASIC basic. taylor swift hozier lorde.......joji..........i can’t even claim mitski bc i only started listening to her bc of the strawberry blonde amv

song stuck in my head: before your father hears us by the family crest. it’s about the orchestral vibes

last film: technically it’s fantastic mr fox which was an excellent movie. however i want to talk about vanessa hudgens’ netflix xmas movie the princess switch 2 because as ridiculous as the plot is i DO think that the movie is remarkably emotionally coherent and characters get developed well. in this essay i will

last series: i stopped four episodes into bridgerton because it DIDN’T feel emotionally coherent and characters didn’t get developed well 😞 orchestral versions of pop songs DID hit though

when did i create this blog: 2013................i was but a mere baby

what do i post: supernatural. i mean before it was just whatever i’d watched recently that i could find gifsets for on tumblr and i wasn’t posting at all but now it’s. it’s supernatural. 

last thing googled: “sad emoji” so i could copy paste it into this post LMFAO

other blogs: i have a side blog @atlascas that i was using to clear out my likes/archive the anime posting that i didn’t want going to my main LMAOOO but now it’s just an spn sideblog

do i get asks: nope. i have flown SO under the radar on here

why i chose my url: wanted a url that i didn’t have to change every time i got into a new interest lmao. goldfishh was satisfyingly pretty and generic

following: i do have my follow list open on mobile lmfao. it’s just so i could enable a blogroll on desktop bc i thought it looked cool. idk like 150 or so blogs

followers: ;)

average hours of sleep: finals FUCKED with me i was sleeping at like 7am and waking at either 12 or 1 or 3pm. but now im home so im trying to adjust to 8hrs again

lucky number: 10 is where its at

instruments: was conscripted into playing flute and piano as a young child as all good chinese children are. neither stuck

what am i wearing: sweater and jeans and cat socks that my sister got me for xmas

dream job: i dont dream of labor but when i do i dream of being a portrait artist

dream trip: me and my friends have been talking abt a cross-country road trip for yearssss east coast to west coast baby!

nationality: american

favourite song: right now its honey + tea by mozi

last book read: kurt vonnegut slaughterhouse five. i havent finished yet. yes i checked it out because of dean shut up

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: i dont usually fantasize abt living elsewhere. gotta echo raven and say hobbit hole in middle earth. or a peaceful animated universe like hilda (is that just sweden?? i dont know).

[beskar-din]

30 questions

tagged by @eznova ~ thanks for tagging me!!

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

Name/Nickname:  my name is Catherine but (even tho I never go by a nickname irl) it feels weird when people online call me that for some reason (I can’t explain it), so please call me Cat lol

Gender: female, she/her

Star sign: Virgo but I’m not really into star signs haha

Height: 5’3

Time: Time zone? EST

Birthday: August

Favorite bands: Led Zeppelin is my #1, but other than that I struggle to get really into any specific bands/artists - I’m more the type to just pick a few songs here and there.

Favorite solo artists: Taylor Swift is my first thought bc I’ve had evermore on repeat since it came out. Elton John and Prince also come to mind. Having older parents as well as brothers who are really into 70’s/80’s pop and classic rock really affected my music taste lol

Song stuck in your head: ‘ivy’ by Taylor Swift has been getting stuck in my head a lot, also ‘cowboy like me’

Last movie: the last movie I watched was Monsters University bc I’m currently working as a nanny lmao. The last movie i watched by choice was Rogue One. I hadn’t watched it in a while and it hurt my feelings as usual 🥺

Last show: I just rewatched s1 of The Mandalorian with my parents

When did I create this blog: uhhh November I think?? but I’ve been on tumblr (on other blogs) since 2013-ish

What I post: Star Wars

Last thing I googled: ‘medieval style wedding dress’ not because I’m getting married anytime soon lol, I just wanted to know if they existed and what they looked like

Other blogs: i have a more multi-fandom/personal blog but i haven’t used it in 3 years or so

Do I get asks: i don’t but i enjoy getting asked questions so feel free

Why I chose my url: i wanted a mandalorian themed url and this was the first one to pop into my head

Following: i didn’t check but I assume around 70 or so

Followers: 33? I think

Average hours of sleep: it depends, I usually only get about 6-7 when I have to work, but if I can sleep in it’s 8-9

Lucky number: I don’t have one... and I kinda feel like having one would stress me out somehow??? does that make sense?

Instruments: oof none. but I just got a piano (as in yesterday) and plan on getting lessons so that’s exciting :)

What I’m wearing: a grey sweatshirt and floral leggings. sweatshirt/leggings combo is basically all I wear at home

Dream job: i don’t have one and that concerns me

Dream trip: hmm... I’d like to visit Germany or Austria I think. See the places my grandparents lived

Favorite food: any kind of pasta dish

Nationality: american

Favorite song(s): ‘Tangerine’ and ‘Bron-Yr-Aur’ by Led Zeppelin, ‘willow’ and ‘cowboy like me’ by Taylor Swift (may be biased by the album being new),

Last book: ahh I haven’t been reading nearly as much as I’d like to. the last book I started reading was ‘Bloodline’ by Claudia Gray, but I didn’t get too far I don’t think (it didn’t really grip me :/)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in: Star Wars, uhhh idk what else.. Lord of the Rings maybe?? I like pretty fantasy scenery, just leave me out of whatever the main characters are up to. MCU could be cool I guess, with super heroes being real and all

I hope my answers didn’t make me seem too boring lmao. I’m not tagging anyone bc I’m still far too shy to do that at this point lol, but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged :)

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[rosereview]

Top 10 Albums of 2019

Okay, since there are quite a few albums on this list I’m going to make my reviews a little smaller, which is sad because they’re already small but if anyone wants a detailed review of a whole album, just let me know and I’d be happy to dive deep into the album or song or EP. Anyway, let’s get started since this is practically the same as my Top EPs of 2019, but instead it’s albums, so I don’t have to give a detailed intro.

10. Singular Act II by Sabrina Carpenter

Okay, to start off we have Sabrina Carpenter’s second act of her Singular project and it’s on this list so that means that I enjoyed it, BUT I would have liked more songs like Exhale or even Pushing 20. By that I mean that I would have liked her other songs to have more lyrics and not just repeating the same words over and over again. I guess I just wanted more vulnerable songs from Sabrina but I still love the album. My favourite song is by far Exhale. (Who saw that coming?) 

9. Once Upon a Mind by James Blunt

For this one I didn’t even know James Blunt was making new music this year and was surprised when I found out he released Cold and then a whole album. James Blunt’s voice just makes me really happy because it’s super unique and calming, but most of his songs sound the same. That’s fine if your in the mood for it, but I’m not always in the mood for it. I can say though that most of his songs make me want to get up and dance with him and I like how he uses real instruments in his songs and almost always has a guitar playing. My favourite song is probably Monsters followed closely by The Greatest. 

8. Was It Even Real? by Olivia O’Brien

Olivia O’Brien is another new artist that I really fell in love with this year. She is really good at writing songs, and her voice is very uniquely hers which I like. She doesn’t try to be something she’s not which really shows and makes her even more special. That being said, I do miss her old songs that did sound a little bit more mainstream and softer, not as sharp as her new songs. This album is also filled with sadness and anger which can get exhausting at a point, but when the album first came out, I couldn’t stop listening to it. My favourite song is the last song that leaves the album on a happier note with Love Myself which is all about trying to accept who you are, which really hit a heartstring and I loved that.

7. YOU by James Arthur

I also wasn’t ready for this album and didn’t even know it came out until months later. I’ve really loved James Arthur’s voice for a while, but I just never really committed to loving him until I heard this album and instantly knew I needed it. I really love both his upbeat songs and his slower songs equally which doesn’t always happen with me. I usually just fall for the slow songs, but that really changed in this album where the first half is more upbeat and the second half is slower, but I love them both so much. His songs are all really well done with the music really complimenting his voice well. Even though I really love his upbeat songs, my favourite song is still a slower one, Quite Miss Home that just gives me shivers every time I listen to it.

6. Romance by Camila Cabello

For this album I’ve already done a song by song review when it first came out in the beginning of December so if your interested in that, it’s under December 2019 song review on my post list. I really love this album and I’m so happy how many happy songs there are because that essentially means that Camila’s happy which makes me happy. I’ve loved Camila Cabello since Fifth Harmony and was obsessed with her first solo album and she really just keeps growing and growing. Honestly she’s my favourite from Fifth Harmony and I was very excited when she left them to pursue her solo career. My favourite song is First Man which made me cry the first couple times I heard it. 

5. A Place We Knew by Dean Lewis

I first found out about Dean Lewis when he released Waves and I loved it. Then I kept forgetting about him until his new songs popped up on my YouTube feed. I became really obsessed with Be Alright when it first came out and finally kept him on my radar and was ready when his album dropped. Many of his songs do sound the same, but his songwriting skills are quite good while the songs that do stand out are really out of this world. I love so many of his songs, which is why the albums at number five, but the best one is definitely Half a Man which really is beautiful and vulnerable and raw. 

4. Lover by Taylor Swift

This album was the only one that really surprised me this year. All the other albums that I knew were coming out I had high expectations for but not this one. I’m not a Swift fan and really didn’t love her last couple albums and miss her old country youth. But when Lover came out I had to try it out because it’s Taylor Swift, and I was very surprised on how many songs I loved on this album. I thought I would only like at most three or four songs on the album, but I love 90 percent of it. She’s an amazing songwriter which I’ve always known but on this album the songs sound good AND are beautifully written. It’s been a while since I could say that with confidence about Taylor Swift. My favourite song is Cornelia Street which I loved since I first heard it, but I have to also mention Soon You’ll Get Better which made me bawl the first couple times I heard it. 

3. World War Joy by The Chainsmokers 

When Closer was released and took the world by storm I found both The Chainsmokers and Halsey. I will be forever grateful for that, since now Halsey is my second favourite artist of all time, and The Chainsmokers are in my top ten. When The Chainsmokers released their album Memories… Do Not Open, I fell in love with them. I was not disappointed with this album. They are amazing creators and they are just getting better. Every song on this album is good and most of them are great. My favourite is Kills You Slowly which is one of only two songs that they don’t have a feature, which are usually my favourite by them. 

2. The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change by Nina Nesbitt

I found out about Nina Nesbitt on YouTube through her music videos for both The Moments I’m Missing and The Best You Had. I loved the songs but didn’t buy them on iTunes because I was still unsure about her. That was two years ago, and I kept her on my radar. I’m glad I did. When she started to release more singles from her upcoming album, I was impressed. And then her album dropped and I listened to her story. Now her album is my second favourite of the year. She’s an amazing songwriter and singer and with everything she's been through in the music industry, she came back stronger than ever. The whole concept of the album is about always looking forward and knowing that things will get better when it doesn’t feel that way. I can’t even say for sure which one song is my favourite from the album so I’ll name a few: Empire, Is It Really Me Your Missing, Last December, Things I Say When You Sleep, The Moments I’m Missing, The Best You Had, and The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change. 

1. No.6 Collaborations Project by Ed Sheeran

Now this isn’t a surprise. Anything Ed Sheeran does, I’ll love. This project is no exception. I love how Ed Sheeran just does things he wants to and doesn’t care about fitting into the norm. His songwriting is purely him and the impact he’s had on the music industry is important. He doesn’t worry about what people think about him which is a hard thing to do. I love so many songs on this album including Beautiful People, Best Part of Me, Antisocial, Put It All On Me, and Way To Break My Heart. Ed Sheeran is my favourite artist and songwriter ever and I don’t think that will ever change.

That concludes my favourite albums of 2019.

Until next time!

~Rose Reviews

[wolfpawn]

I Hate you, I Love You Chapter 5

Chapter Summary -  Danielle helps Benedict with Christopher while the pair talk.Tom goes into his mothers and is brought to a realisation that the world is not, contrary to recent belief, all about him.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

I think it goes without saying that I am taking some serious artistic licence with Tom here. I would hope he is more copped on than this......actually, considering the last few months, I think it may be somewhat true, hopefully, he isn't so naive, he is, after all, a (then) 35-year-old man, but let's face it, this makes the story more dramatic.

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer

“How are you feeling?” Ben asked. He had met Danielle a few times through Tom and his family, she was incredibly normal, which was refreshing when you’re surrounded by actors and Hollywood. “I heard you yell at Tom about your night.”

“I just…Today is not the day for unimportant bull…” She caught herself before she swore. “Sorry.”

“I keep getting caught myself.” Ben dismissed changing the nappy. “Can I be so rude as to ask to heat some food for him too?”

“Sure, get him sorted and then we’ll organise that then.” She smiled. “It is nine in the morning, did you drive from London?”

“Someone, and I am not pointing fingers,” He pointed to his son. “Is getting up early, and Sophie is in Scotland, so I didn’t know what to do, I thought I would visit Tom, but well…”

“That blew up in your face.”

“That’s the polite way of putting it. This is so…not Tom.”

“Tell me about it, Diana is completely at a loss, so are Emma and Sarah, and for some reason, because he does not want to confront whatever or whoever is eating at him, I am Public Enemy Number One. Does he eat porridge?” She indicated to Christopher.

“Yes, but there’s no need to go to the trouble.”

“I usually have a bowl before I go to bed anyway,” she shrugged. “It’s only a little extra scoop; unless you want some yourself.”

“I am fine, thank you. Strong coffee is good. So you are…”

“I will be fine, I will go to bed for a while, then head to work early and get an assessment and an obligatory counselling session then be back to work.”

“That…Jesus, that’s rough.”

“You get used to it, in some ways, if that makes any bit of sense.”

“Do you not ever get nightmares?”

“Most weeks that something terrible happens, yeah.”

“Jesus.”

“I should have just gone to acting college.”

“Could you have afforded it?” There was a clear hint in Benedict’s voice that he was being sarcastic, clearly having heard everything Tom had said.

“Any other day, I’d have kneed him in the nuts for that, but today, I just can’t care, besides, it is clear, he is not the guy he was.” She sighed.

“Is that…?” Benedict pointed out the window.

“Mac, get down.” Elle didn’t even have to look, she knew it was the dog. “He’s the dog Tom found, yeah.”

“He looks good.”

“A bit scraggily, but yeah, he is doing well now.” She smiled.

“I am sorry.”

“What for?”

“Tom.”

“No one can apologise for him but himself. I only hope he sees sense, and when he does, that everyone is still here for him, because I think I am officially at the very precipice of telling him to go take a running jump off the nearest cliff.”

“No one would blame you. Thank you.” He took the fresh porridge and coffee from her and blew on it.

Half an hour, and a fed waddler later, Benedict thanked her, and left her home, tying Christopher into his car seat, before looking at Diana Hiddleston’s house and sighing.

*

“What was that ruckus outside Tom?” Diana asked, still in her nightgown.

“Benedict has gone into Danielle’s.” He stated angrily.

“I am not sure I follow.”

“He came here, supposedly to see me, but instead went into hers, and is in there now.”

“And why is that?” Diana looked at her son, she knew when he was at fault for something as a child, he would just give the start and end of a story, but nothing of what occurred in the intervening period.

“I was talking with Elle, and she went off on me, and he took her side.”

“Thomas,” Diana warned.

“I was tired and angry, and I may have said something, and she…”

“Gave you the truth?” Diana interjected. “You are my son Thomas, and I will always love you, but you need to get yourself in check, you are going to allow everything you worked for go down the toilet, and for what? When you were dating Susannah, you broke it off because you knew you would be too busy and did not want to drag her along, and now, you are going too far the other way, dropping it all for a woman, one who is not ready to settle down, and at twenty-six, that is fine, she is young, but you are putting it all on this one horse Thomas, and I am not sure the horse will even run the race.” Tom frowned. “Elle has a difficult job, and she wants her life outside it to be as smooth as possible, please do not make that any harder on her.”

Tom said no more, he knew once his mother found out the difficult night Danielle had, she would murder him for adding to her misery. “I need to get showered.” Diana nodded and went into the kitchen, turning on the radio.

“There was a road traffic accident in the early hours of this morning in Suffolk, a woman, and her two children were travelling back from a trip to Legoland when a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, killing the occupiers of the car. The woman, named as thirty-four-year-old Carol Johnson originally from Brighton, residing in Suffolk, was recently widowed and had taken her children, eight year old Jeffery and five year old Jessica to the famous theme park following the death of her husband in a workplace accident in the North Sea on an oil rig earlier this summer, Jessica was said to be excited to start school next week, having bought her school supplies while in London with her mother. Police and paramedics at the scene said it was a devastating reminder of the dangers of driving while tired, and urge drivers to pull in and sleep if they feel themselves dozing off at the wheel.”

Tom sat on the steps of the stairs, listening to what Danielle had dealt with at work, feeling guilt riddle him once more. Diana came into the hallway, her face pale at what she had heard. “You don’t think…”

“She mentioned it, yes.”

“She was there?” Tom nodded. “And you were…”

“I didn’t know.”

“I think it best you leave her alone from now on Thomas,” Diana stated coldly.

Tom went upstairs without another word as Diana left the house to check on her neighbour.

*

For the rest of the time he was in Suffolk, Tom did as his mother suggested, and left Danielle alone. He was opening the window of the bathroom to leave out steam after a shower, and saw her in her back garden, a cup of coffee and a slice of apple crumble on the table, on a recliner garden chair, with Mac Tíre curled up on top of her. The dog, though small for a Sheppard, took up most of her torso, as she curled her arms around him, the dog clearly sensing her distress. He felt terrible for her, and was about to go apologise to her when his phone went off, looking at the screen, he noticed it was Taylor and clicked accept; since she was supposed to be in LA and that meant she was ringing him at five am there. “Hey.”

“I have the best night.” She half sang at him.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“I sang with Nelly at Mike’s birthday.”

“What?”

“Mike Heis, the oil heir, I sang at his birthday, here in the Hamptons.” She repeated excitedly.

“The Hamptons, isn’t that on the East Coast?” Tom frowned.

“Eh, yeah, here in Long Island.”

“I thought you were in LA, that’s what you said yesterday?”

“OMG, I decided not to go, a party is so much more fun, especially for Mike, he is super rich and sweet, so I said, how could I say no, right? I mean he is practically squad approved awesome, by the way, I kissed him, so don’t be surprised to see a photo.”

“What?”

“Oh there’s nothing behind it, totally platonic, it’s on the cheek, so you’ll get over it.”

“That’s sort of, inappropriate, though, isn’t it? I mean if there are pictures.” Tom broached.

“It was a friendly one, and besides, I am not changing myself for anyone, and it keeps the cameras where they need to be. I’m tired, so I am going to bed, you’re here again tomorrow, right?”

“I need to go straight to Australia, there is one scene that went a bit awry, so I am to go there and then I am free for a week, yeah.”

“Tell them you are busy til Thursday.”

“That’s not how it goes with Marvel movies Taylor, they are in charge, not me.”

“I told my parents you are going to be here, so be here Tom.” She demanded petulantly.

“I cannot be there until I do the scene, they’ve paid the flights, I have to go.”

“Fine, but I am coming too.”

“Great.” His tone did not match the word.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Jetlag, and a small argument with my mum’s neighbour I have to sort.”

“That woman?”

“Danielle, yes.”

“She is such a bitch, Johnny, my bodyguard, told me she was trying to sneak into your mums when I was there with you, as though she owned the place, and had like a camera phone in her hand, you are better off away from her, I bet she has a hoard of things on you, waiting for the highest bidder, you should have a high fence and an NDA put on her ass. I mean, what is she paying for that house with?”

Tom’s brow furrowed. “I never asked.”

“Maybe you should, your family has money, and she is some nurse or something, and she can live next door to your mum, and only did so after you got famous.” Taylor planted a seed in his mind; he looked down, looking at the woman that had been close to his family for so long. “I mean, it’s so cliché, use the family to get to your celebrity crush.”

“Crush?”

“Yeah, she is totally in love with you, why do you think she is always running around to your mothers, dying to see you no doubt, I mean, I bet she accidentally walked in while you were there, pretending not to know you were home.” Tom thought of the first day, and her arriving home just after him from work. “I’m right, you know it. I am used to it all, I have been in this game long enough, she is practically a stalker.”

“Tom, are you there?” a voice called from outside the bathroom.

“I better go; mum is calling.”

“What time are you into JFK tomorrow?”

“Actually, it’s to Florida.”

“What, no that’s unacceptable, change it.”

“I am afraid not everyone has private jets, love.” Tom chuckled.

“You should, fine, I will send mine to get you.”

“The next flight is from there to Hawaii and then a connection to Brisbane.”

“God, that’s a joke.” She commented.

“Get some sleep love, I will see you soon.”

“You better.” She signed off, hanging up before he could say anymore.

“Tom?” He heard his mother call from outside his room in the hallway.

“Yeah,” Tom looked at the phone. “I’m here.”

“I am going to Emma’s for a few days with Danielle, what time is your flight?”

“What?” Tom demanded, opening the bathroom door.

“Emma’s, Elle and I are going there for a few days.” Diana jumped slightly when Tom opened the door.

“Why?”

“Because Elle took that crash badly, she is not sleeping at all, apparently those children, they are keeping her awake,” Diana stated sadly. “She’s been giving compassionate leave for a week, she needs a break.”

“So she is on the verge of a breakdown, that is what you are saying, that she is nuts.”

“Thomas!”

“What, that is what you are saying, is she even safe to be around?”

“How could you say such a thing, you heard the news report, and saw the photo’s in the paper, you can see her, trying to get into the car. How she hasn’t had one is a miracle. Don’t you dare speak badly of her for it.” Diana snapped.

“She is too close to the family, you need to step back from her. How do we even know her family are dead?”

“Thomas! What has gotten into you?”

“Taylor was saying…”

“I should have known.” Diana walked off. “That girl has cost you a lot of late Thomas, I have to wonder how much you will lose before you wisen up. She is off snuggling up to billionaires sons and kissing them all too closely and you are here losing everything for her.”

“She told me about that, it was platonic.” He called down the stairs.

“And yet when I met that Australian girl from The Night Manager, she said she tried to ring you about your Emmy, she was met with an automated answer, as has Elle, and I bet others too. You cannot be friends with women, but she can snuggle men, trust has to go both ways in a relationship Thomas.” She stated back to him, opening the front door. “Ready sweetheart.” He heard her call. “Tom’s car is in my way, put Mac in and we’ll take yours.”

[upontheshelfreviews]

And now we come to the final piece of Walt Disney’s original animation trifecta, Fantasia, and it’s one I’m both anticipating and dreading. Fantasia isn’t just one of the crowning jewels in Disney’s canon, a landmark in motion picture animation, and second only to Snow White in terms of influential music and storytelling in the whole medium, it’s one of my top three favorite movies of all time. Discussing it without sounding like an old history professor, a pretentious internet snob, or a hyper Disney fangirl is one hell of a daunting task.

“Did someone say hyper Disney fangirl?! I LOVE Disney!!”

“I thought you only liked Frozen.”

“Well, DUH, Frozen is my favorite, which makes it, like, the best Disney movie ever! But Disney’s awesome! There’s a bunch of other movies I like that are almost as good!”

“And Fantasia’s one of them?”

“Yeah!!…Which one is that again?”

“The one with Sorcerer Mickey?”

“Ohhhh, you’re talking about the fireworks show where he fights the dragon!”

“No, that’s Fantasmic. I’m referring to Fantasia. Came out the same year as Pinocchio? All done in hand-drawn animation…has the big devil guy at the end?”

“THAT’S where he’s from?! Geez, that’s some old movie. Why haven’t I heard about ’til now?”

“Probably because you spend twelve hours a day searching for more Frozen GIFs to reblog on your Tumblr.”

“Ooh, that reminds me! I need to go post my next batch of theories about the upcoming sequel! Toodles!!”

“Thanks. Another second with her and I would’ve bust a gasket.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Anyway, it’s no surprise Sorcerer Mickey is what people remember the most from Fantasia, and not just because he’s the company mascot. “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” was the reason we have the movie in the first place. It began as a pet project between Walt Disney and renowned conductor Leopold Stokowski.

“Yep. THAT Leopold.”

However, between the upscale in animation and the use of the Philadelphia Orchestra, the cost grew too high to justify the creation of only one short. Over time more sequences featuring animation set to various pieces of classical music were added in what was initially dubbed “The Concert Feature”. Later it was wisely changed to the more memorable “Fantasia”. It works not only because it’s derived from the word “fantasy”, but because “fantasia” is a term for a musical composition that doesn’t follow any strict form and leans towards improvisation. Combine the two meanings and you get the whole movie in a nutshell.

And this leads us to –

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #1: “It’s SOOOOOO boring! Nobody’s talking and nothing ever happens!”

You know, few recall that decades before Warner Brothers was known as that studio that made rushed prequels to beloved fantasy franchises and a hastily cobbled together superhero universe, it had humble origins in the music business; their Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes shorts began as music videos made to sell their records. Disney’s Silly Symphonies followed in the same vein, though they focused more on pushing the envelope in animation technique and character resonance than selling music, as did the lesser known Harman-Ising Happy Harmonies.

And if that’s the case, then Fantasia is the Thriller of animated music videos. It’s the result of years of technological advancement and trial and error, all culminating in the flawless weaving together of visuals and some of the greatest music mankind has created to tell seven stories and elicit an emotional response for each one.

Let me repeat that: FANTASIA. PREDATES. THRILLER.

“And unlike Thriller, Fantasia has the advantage of NOT being directed by a man who literally got away with murder or involving an artist whose pedophilia accusations are still discussed a decade after his passing…at least as far as we know.”

By the way, if you’re watching the current version of Fantasia that’s available, do me a favor and pause the movie to watch the original Deems Taylor intros; while they’re shorter than the ones on the blu-ray, they have Deem’s original voice. All later releases have him dubbed over by Corey Burton because the audio for these parts hasn’t held up as well over time. Now Corey Burton is a phenomenal voice actor who’s done countless work for Disney before, but there’s a problem I have with him taking over these segments: One, he and Deems sound nothing alike, and Two, he makes him sound so dry and dull. Not to mention the longer intros practically spoil everything you’re about to see whereas the cut versions give you just enough to build some intrigue for what’s to follow.

Regardless of whichever one you’re watching, Deems gives us the rundown on what Fantasia is all about and lists the three categories that the sequences fall under.

A concrete story

Clearly defined images with something of a narrative

Music and visuals that exist for its own sake

And the very first of these parts falls directly into the last one.

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor – Johann Sebastian Bach

Some hear this tune and attribute it as stock horror music, but for me it’s the start of a grand, dark, fantastical journey through realms of the imagination. While it is intended as an organ piece, this full orchestration blows me away. Capturing the orchestra in bold hues and shadows with colors specific to certain highlighted instruments was a brilliant move, setting the stage for what’s to come.

And if the previously referenced Bugs Bunny cartoon was any indication, the real Leopold Stokowski is one of the main draws to this segment. Stokowski’s claim to fame was that he ditched the traditional conductor’s baton and used his hands to guide the orchestra. His passion and restraint is plain for all to see, even in silhouette.

Ultimately Stokowski and the orchestra fade away into the animated ether. The idea behind Toccota and Fugue was to show a gradual transformation from the conscious world to the subconscious, providing a literal and figurative representation of what you see and hear with the music. That’s why the first animated images resemble violin bows sweeping over strings. Over time those distinct objects evolve into abstract geometric shapes.

Honestly, no amount of stills can capture what it’s like to watch this sequence play out. It’s a radically unique experience, almost like a dream.

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #2: “It’s the world’s first screensaver/musicalizer!”

This is something I hear often from people (ie. the people making the complaints I’ve chosen to highlight). First, read the previous Thing. Second, Toccata is not so much about recreating a story as it is capturing a feeling. And yet a story isn’t out of the question. I always saw at as glimpses of a battle of light versus dark, heaven versus hell, albeit not as overt as the opening of Fantasia 2000. That’s the beauty of this segment. It’s all up for interpretation. You can let the images and sounds wash over you as if you were dreaming it, or attach whatever meaning you find.

And on that note (ha) –

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #3: “God, all these animators must have been so fucking high to come up with this shit.”

I tell ya what, if you’re one of those people who think that, take whatever drug is handy, grab some crayons or whatever you feel comfortable doodling with, and when you’re comfortably high, draw one full second of animation. That’s 24 consecutive drawings that need to flow, squash and stretch into each other realistically. It doesn’t have complicated; it can be a ball bouncing, a flower blowing in the wind, an eye blinking, but it has to work.

Not so easy, huh?

Classic Disney animators who lectured at art schools received comments like this all the time. While there were some like Fred Moore who would go for the occasional beer run on breaks, there’s no record of narcotic or alcoholic influence on the animators’ turnout. I’m pretty sure Walt would’ve fired anyone who turned in work produced while high because it’d be awful. Animation was still a fairly new medium at the time, and Disney was constantly experimenting with what it could do, which is why we got things like this, the Pink Elephants, and other delightfully trippy moments throughout the 40’s, not because of drugs. Isn’t that right, classic Disney animator Bill Tytla?

“Of course! I’ve never done drugs, and I never drink…wine.”

The Nutcracker Suite – Pyotr Illich Tchaichovsky

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #4: “Yawn. Nutcracker is SO overplayed. Of course Disney had to jump on the bandwagon with their version!”

Ironically, the extended Deems Taylor intro has him mention how nobody performs Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker; in light of its modern seasonal popularity, the sentiment is rendered archaic. True, the ballet wasn’t an initial critical hit and Tchaikovsky himself virtually disowned it, but much of its ubiquity is largely due in part to Disney adapting it for Fantasia. It eschews the title character in favor of a nature ballet portraying the cycle of seasons. Initial planning included the overture and the famous march featuring woodland critters, though they were eventually cut. Walt considered pumping scents into the theater during this part, but was unable to figure out how to do it naturally. If they had Smell-O-Vision that might work, but what scents would you have to scratch off for the other Fantasia segments? Wood resin? Wine? Wet hippo? Brimstone?

The sequence begins with The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. In the night a group of fairies dance like fireflies, gracing spring flowers and spiderwebs with delicately timed dewdrops.

“Any of you girls seen Tinkerbell?” “She ditched us to hang out with that obnoxious flyboy.” “Again?! That’s the third time this month!”

The scene is atmospheric with beautifully rendered pastel backgrounds. After the fairies comes The Chinese Dance performed by a group of little mushrooms. It’s a cute number, and just another that was parodied more than a few times in other cartoons – wait do those mushrooms have slant eyes? And they’re prancing around nodding like extras in The Mikado…

You fungi are lucky you’re so darn adorable otherwise I’d sic the self-righteous side of Twitter on you.

Dance of the Reed Flutes follows. Lilies gently float on to the surface of a pond before inverting themselves to resemble twirling dancers with long, flowing skirts. And since I’m not always one to take the easy route, enjoy this niche reference instead of “You Spin Me Right Round”.

A gust of wind blows the spinning lilies over a waterfall into some moody underwater caverns, where a school of unusually sultry goldfish perform the Arabian Dance.

Cleo, does Gepetto know about this?

A novel idea, using the basic swimming motions of a goldfish and their naturally diaphanous tails and fins as veils to resemble exotic dancers, though like other animated characters in a similar vein, this has led to some…”interesting” reactions from certain people.

Right, well, bubbles transition us into the penultimate movement, the Russian Dance. Thistles and orchids resembling dancers clad in traditional Russian peasant clothing spring to life in this brightly colored energetic minute. You’ll be chanting “hey!” along with it.

And finally, the Waltz of the Flowers. As a little girl I would often hold my own “ballets” to this scene, which mainly comprised of me in a ballet costume or fancy nightgown spinning around in circles for family members with this playing in the background. Top that, Baryshnikov.

Fairies similar to the ones from the beginning transform the leaves from fresh summer green to autumn orange, brown and gold. Milkweed seeds blossom forth and float through the air like waltzing ladies. This piece above all else is what really shows the beauty of nature. I feel more emotion watching the leaves pirouette in the wind than any plain live-action drama.

Fall turns into winter, and the fairies, now snow sprites, skate across a pond creating ice swirls while even more spiral down from the sky as snowflakes. The secret of animating these snowflakes was nearly lost to time. Several years ago a notebook by technician Herman Schultheis was rediscovered, revealing how many of the special effects in Disney’s early films – Fantasia in particular – were brought to life. The snowflakes were cels on spools attached to small rails from a train set that were filmed falling in stop motion and black and white, then superimposed on the final picture.

In conclusion, The Nutcracker Suite is a lovely piece of animation and music, and I’ll pop in Fantasia at Christmastime just to watch it. This was my introduction to The Nutcracker, and it’s an excellent and unique one.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Paul Dukas

The symphonic poem of the same name now gets a proper name with Mickey Mouse stepping in the title role. It’s impossible to imagine any other character in his shoes, but for a time there were other considerations.

“Nope. Too wooden.”

“Too angry.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re just too darn loud.”

As we all know, Mickey was given the part since his popularity needed a boost. He doesn’t talk here, and I know those who find his voice grating wholeheartedly embrace that fact, but what we’re given is proof that Mickey works just as well silently as he does speaking. Very few cartoon characters can pull off that kind of versatility.

And while we’re on the topic of sound, Walt was so determined for the sound quality to match what was happening on screen that he devised a system he dubbed “FantaSound”, where it would seem as though the music would move around the the theater instead of just blare out from one speaker.

You read that right. Fantasia is the movie that invented SURROUND SOUND.

But that’s not the only technological leap Fantasia is responsible for – this is the first time we see Mickey with sclera.

That’s the white of the eyes for those who don’t speak science.

Before Fantasia, Mickey had what we refer to today as “pie eyes”, a relic of the era he was created in. As the art of animation progressed, animators found it increasingly difficult to create believable expressions with two little dots. Fred Moore is responsible for the mouse’s welcome redesign. Mickey as the apprentice serves the sorcerer Yen Sid, named after his real world counterpart.

“Hey! I didn’t teach him that!”

Mickey’s craving a taste of his master’s power, so he borrows his magical cap after he goes to bed and enchants a broom to finish his work of gathering water. It’s fun and bouncy, though the part where Mickey dreams he can control the cosmos, seas and sky is something to behold.

“The power! The absolute POWER!! The universe is mine to command! To CONTROOOOOOL!!!”

But Mickey is jolted from his dream of ultimate conquest when the broom begins flooding the place. Unfortunately the sorcerer’s hat doesn’t come with a manual so Mickey doesn’t know how to turn it off. He resorts to violently chopping the broom to pieces with an axe. The animation originally called for the massacre to happen on screen, but was altered to showing it through shadows instead. I think it’s much more effective this way. The implied violence is more dramatic than what we could have gotten.

One of my favorite stylistic choices in Fantasia is what follows. The color is sucked out, drained if you will, mirroring Mickey’s exhausted emotional and physical state after committing broomslaughter. But it slowly returns as the broom’s splinters rise up and form an army of bucket-wielding drones. They overpower Mickey and catch him in a whirlpool until Yen Sid returns and parts the waters like a pissed off Moses.

“You! Shall not! SWIM!!!”

Mickey sheepishly returns the hat, and I have to give credit to the animators for the subtle touches on Yen Sid. He appears stern at first glance, but the raised eyebrow borrowed from Walt? The slight smirk at the corner of his mouth? Deep down, he’s amused by his apprentice’s shenanigans. Even the backside slap with the broom, while rendered harshly due to the sudden swell of music, is done less out of malice and more out of playfulness.

The piece ends with Mickey breaking the barriers of reality to congratulate Stokowski on a job well done.

“Hey! I didn’t teach him that!”

If you haven’t already guessed, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is easily one of my preferred sequences. It’s energetic, perfectly matches the music, and features my favorite mouse in one of his most iconic roles. I joke about the scene where Mickey controls the waves and the sky due to Disney’s far-reaching acquisitions in the past decade, but within the context of the film it’s one of the most magical moments. Some theorize that The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is an allegory of Walt’s journey to create Fantasia itself, and there’s some merit to it – Mickey’s always been Walt’s avatar after all, and here he dreams big only to wind up way in over his head. But you don’t need to look for coincidental parallels to enjoy this part.

Rite of Spring – Igor Stravinsky

Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring is admittedly my least favorite part of Fantasia, though I don’t hate it by all means. Thematically it’s the furthest from the original work’s intent: instead of a pagan ritual involving a virgin sacrifice, we witness the earth’s infancy. I was never really into dinosaurs as a kid (I didn’t even see Jurassic Park until I was in fourth or fifth grade), and the thundering, threatening music put me off. I found it too long (twenty-two minutes is an eternity in child time), uninteresting, and dour compared to the other sequences, with the exception of one moment. I can appreciate it now that I’m older, though.

A solitary oboe echoes through the vast darkness of space. We soar past comets, galaxies, suns, and down into our lonely little planet still in the early stages of formation. Volcanoes cover the earth. They spew toxic gas, but their magma bubbles burst in precision with the music. Once again this is due to Herman Schultheis. He filmed a mixture of oatmeal, coffee grounds, and mud with air pushed up through a vent, and let the animators go to town on it.

The volcanoes erupt simultaneously. Lava flows and the ensuing millennia of cooling form the continents. But deep in the sea, the first protozoan life wriggles, divides, and evolves into multi-cellular organisms. One of them crawls up on to land, and finally we’re back in the time where dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #4: “Dinosaur inaccuracies…brain melting…”

True, most of the dinosaur and plant species here never shared the same period of existence, but try telling that to the animation studio or John Hammond. They mostly went for whatever looked cool and prehistoric regardless of scientific accuracy. Some of the designs themselves are a bit off, but the animators did their best considering how much we knew about the creatures in the 30’s and 40’s. Heck, we’ve only recently discovered that most dinosaurs were covered with feathers or fur, and I don’t see anyone harping on Jurassic Park for omitting that detail. Thank God Steven Spielberg doesn’t harbor George Lucas’ affinity for reworking his past movies with extra CGI.

Believe it or not, this scene was once considered the height of accurate dinosaur depictions on film, because nobody else had done it before with this level of research and care in animation. Without Rite Of Spring, we wouldn’t have The Land Before Time or Jurassic Park in the first place. Look at Land Before Time’s bleak, orangey atmosphere and the Sharptooth fights and tell me this didn’t influence it in any way.

The dinosaurs themselves have little character and, while fascinating to see how they might have lived, are not particularly engaging. Until…

Yes, when the king of all dinosaurs makes his entrance, bringing a thunderstorm along with him no less, all the others are wise to run and hide from him. I would hide under a quilt but still peek through the holes in awe. He snaps about throwing his weight around, but when it goes toe to toe with a stegosaurus? That’s when things get real.

This battle, by the way, is animated by Woolie Reitherman, who had a knack for bringing gargantuan characters to life. He was responsible for animating Monstro in Pinocchio, and was behind Maleficent’s dragon form in Sleeping Beauty.

Though what follows is far from triumphant. The earth has become a hot, barren wasteland. The dinosaurs trudge through deserts and tar pits, their fruitless search for water turning into a slow death march. Not even the mighty T-Rex can survive this.

California: present day.

Some time later, the dinosaurs are all gone. Only their bones bleaching in the sun remain. Without warning, a massive earthquake hits and the seas flood through, washing away the remains of the old prehistoric world. The sequence comes full circle as the lonely oboe plays over a solar eclipse, which sets on an earth ready to step into the next stage of life.

If Walt had his way, the segment would have continued with the evolution of man and ended on a triumphant note with the discovery of fire, but he was worried about the possible backlash from zealous creationists. And I don’t blame him for wanting to avoid a confrontation with that crowd.

“It’s bad enough he makes a mouse act like a people with his dadgum pencil sorcery, but propagandizin’ evil-loution in mah Saturday mornin’ toon box? That’s just plum un-okkily-dokkily!”

“…You wouldn’t happen to have a dictionary on hand, would you?”

“DICTIONARIES ARE THE DEVIL’S BOOSTER SEAT!!”

Subsequently, those edits made to Stravinsky’s score pissed off the composer so much that he considered suing Disney for tampering with his work. He opted not to, yet the experience turned him off animation for good. A crying shame; Stravinsky, apart from being the only classical composer alive to see his work made part of a Fantasia feature, was excited to work with Walt. The two deeply respected and recognized each other as artists ahead of their time. Who knows what else could have come from their collaboration if things ended better?

With that knowledge, it makes sense that one of Stravinsky’s most famous pieces, the Firebird Suite, was included in Fantasia 2000: perhaps on some level Disney wanted to apologize for how the finale of Rite of Spring was mishandled by making Firebird the grand finale (though knowing Stravinsky he would have hated the little changes made to his music there as well).

Following the intermission, the orchestra reconvenes and has a fun little jam session. Deems Taylor takes a moment to introduce us to the most important – but rarely seen – figure that makes Fantasia and most music in movies possible, The Soundtrack.

Once again, Disney does what it does best and anthropomorphizes what no one thought was possible. Think about it: giving personalities to animals is one thing, but they’ve successfully done the same for plants, planes, houses, hats, and here, sound itself. It may seem silly and out of place, but I think it’s brilliant and charming. The visuals it creates to represent different instruments are perfectly matched; some of them harken back to Toccata and Fugue. This, combined with the improv from the orchestra, is a good way to ease us back into comfort after the harshness of Rite of Spring.

Pastoral Symphony – Ludwig Van Beethoven

There’s a famous story about Walt Disney while he was pitching this segment. When met with complaints that it wasn’t working, he cried out This’ll MAKE Beethoven!” In a way, he was right. This was the very first piece of Beethoven I ever heard, even before the famous “da da da DUUUUUN” of Symphony #5. And as far as I know, it was for a good many Disney fans too. We still get a romantic depiction of the countryside as was the composer’s intent, but instead of an rural utopia, we see the Fields of Elysium at the foot of Mount Olympus. It’s home to a variety of mythical creatures from the golden age of Greece: fauns, unicorns, cherubs, centaurs and Pegasi.

If there was ever a Disney world I wanted to spend a day in, this would be it. It’s so innocent, laidback and colorful; it takes me right back to my childhood. A great portion of this sequence was used in my favorite music video in the Simply Mad About the Mouse anthology album, “Zip A Dee Doo Dah” sung by Ric Ocasek from The Cars. Whether that was my favorite because it featured Pastoral Symphony or Pastoral Symphony was my favorite because it was featured in the video I don’t know. There’s nothing that could ever destroy it for –

Oh son of a…

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #5: “RACIST. FUCKING. CENTAUR. EQUALS. RACIST. DISNEY… RACIST!!!”

Yes ladies and gents, that image is real. Meet Sunflower (or Otika, I’m not sure which one she is) one of the the censored centaurettes (for very obvious reasons). I’m of two minds when it comes to their inclusion. First off, yes, they’re crude and demeaning blackface caricatures that have no place in a Disney movie, let alone one of the best ones and in one of my favorite sequences. But my inner art/film historian that despises censorship feels that erasing these depictions is the same as pretending they and other prejudices of the time never existed.

Thank you, Warner Bros.

As time and the civil rights movement marched on, all traces of the Sunflower squad were removed from later releases of Fantasia. The downside to that was editing techniques at the time weren’t as high-tech as they are today; I was lucky to see a film print of Fantasia at the Museum of Modern Art in 2015 that must have dated as far back as the ’60s because she wasn’t there, but the cuts were very noticeable. Sad to say the amazing remastered tracks done by Irwin Kostal in the 80’s used a similar print because the shift in the music is very jarring at points in this segment. It wasn’t until Fantasia’s 50th anniversary that they were able to zoom in and crop the scenes that had Sunflower in them while recycling other pieces of animation over parts where they couldn’t get rid of her, eventually managing to digitally erase her from some of the film entirely (look carefully at the part where the red carpet is being rolled out for Bacchus on the blu-ray. Unless he got it from the Cave of Wonders, carpets normally don’t roll themselves…)

I completely understand the reasoning behind Sunflower’s removal, but can also see why animation aficionados would try to pressure Disney into bringing her back with each new re-release for Fantasia, possibly with one of those great Leonard Maltin intros putting everything into context like in the tragically out-of-print Disney Treasures dvds – though the chances of that happening are as likely as Song of the South being made public again (the Disney+ promo should have made that clearer when they claimed Disney’s entire back catalogue would be available for streaming, but I doubt the tag line “We have everything except Song of the South” would hook people). It’s an issue I’m very torn on. So if there was ever a chance that a version of Fantasia with a restored Sunflower was possible, either through Disney themselves or fan edits, my thoughts on it would be a very resounding…

The first movement of the symphony is “Awakening of Pleasant Feelings upon Arriving in the Country”, and this part does just that. As the sun rises and we get our first glimpse of the technicolor fantasyland. Pan flute-playing fauns and unicorns frolic with each other while a herd of Pegasi take to the sky. Again, going back to other notable movies taking cues from Fantasia, Ray Harryhausen carefully studied the movement of the Pegasi here when creating his stop-motion Pegasus for Clash of the Titans. They canter through the air as they would on land, but in the water they move with the grace of a swan.

And look at the little baby ones, they’re just too cute!

The second movement, “Scene by the Brook”, takes place exactly where you think it does. A group of female centaurs, named “centaurettes” by the animators, doll themselves up with the help of some cupids (and the aforementioned Sunflower) in preparation for mating season.

“”I used to like the centaurettes not just because they were pretty but because each of them having different colors could be interpreted as women of all colors hanging out together and finding love. But no, having Sunflower there confirms that they’re all supposed to be lighter-skinned ladies. Racism given context makes it no less of a pain in the ass.”

The male centaurs arrive and hook up with their conveniently color-matching counterparts. The cherubs help set the mood for their flirting interludes until they discover two shy, lonely centaurs (Brudus and Melinda, because I’m that big of a Disney nerd that I know their actual names) who haven’t found each other yet. They lure them to a grove with some flute music a la The Pied Piper and it’s love at first sight.

One of my favorite details throughout the Pastoral Symphony is that we keep coming back to Brudus and Melinda. They’re a cute couple, one of the closest things we have to main characters in this sequence, and it’s nice to follow them.

Our third movement is “Peasants’ Merrymaking”. The centaur brigade prepare an overflowing vat of wine for Bacchus, god of booze and merrymaking. Bacchus, forever tipsy, arrives backed up by some black zebra centaurettes serving him. Maybe they were considered attractive enough to avoid being censored.

The bacchanalia is in full swing with everyone dancing and getting loaded. But Zeus, who appears more sinister than Laurence Olivier or his future Disney counterpart, crashes the party with a big thunderstorm. I used to think he was a jerk for endangering his subjects just for kicks, but in light of recent revelations maybe he had ulterior motives.

“Feel the wrath of the thunder god, you fucking racists!”

“Come on, dad, you used to be fun! Where’s the Zeus turns into a cow to pick up chicks?!”

“He grew up. Maybe you should too, son. Now EAT LIGHNING!”

“The Storm”, our fourth movement, provides some stunning imagery against the torrential backdrop, from the centaurs being called to shelter to the pegasus mother braving the gale to rescue her baby.

Ultimately Zeus grows tired and turns in for the night, ending the storm. Iris, goddess of the rainbow, emerges and leaves her technicolor trail across the sky. The creatures revel in the effects it has on their surroundings, then gather on a hill to watch the sunset, driven by Apollo and his chariot. Everyone settles in to sleep, and Artemis, hunting goddess of the moon, shoots an comet across the sky like an arrow that fills the sky with twinkling stars.

Pastoral Symphony was the one part of Fantasia that always received the most derision from critics, but racist characters aside I simply don’t get the hate for it. It may be longer than Rite of Spring but feels nowhere near as drawn out. I love the colors, characters, and the calm, bucolic fantasy world it creates. This was my first exposure to Beethoven and the world of Greek mythology and I still hold plenty of nostalgia for it. I admit it’s not perfect, and not just for the reason you think. Out of all the Fantasia pieces, this is the one whose quality is closest to an original Disney short than a theatrical feature. It’s a bit more cartoony and there’s some notable errors, particularly when the baby Pegasi dive into the water and emerge different colors. Also, Deems and the animators flip between using the gods’ Greek and Roman names, and the stickler in me wants them to pick a mythos and stick with it. But for all it’s flaws it’s still among my very favorite Fantasia pieces and nothing can change that.

  The Dance of the Hours from the Opera “La Giaconda” – Amilcare Ponichelli

Like I said before, Disney was a master of the art of anthropomorphism. And nowhere is this more true than Dance of the Hours. Animals portray dancers symbolizing morning, noon, dusk and evening – only they’re the most unlikely ones for the job. The characters of our penultimate act are as cartoony as any you’d see in a Disney short from the era, but what puts the animation above it is the right balance of elasticity and realism. The exaggeration is on point, but there’s enough heft and weight to the animals that I can buy them being grounded in (some semblance of) reality. The animators studied professional dancers and incorporated their moves and elegance flawlessly. Half of the comedy derives from this.

The other half comes from how seriously the mock ballet is treated. We’re never informed who the dancers will be, leading anyone who hasn’t seen this before to assume they’re people. The ballet itself is a parody of the traditional pageant, but the performers carry on with the utmost sincerity. It doubles the laughs when it comes to moments such as Ben Ali Gator trying to catch Hyacinth Hippo in a dramatic pas de deux or an elephant getting a foot stuck in one of her own bubbles as she prances around. The familiar lighthearted refrain of the dance provides wonderful contrast to the caricatures on screen, particularly if you recall its other most famous iteration beyond Fantasia.

No one ever told me Camp Grenada was this Arcadian or zoological.

Morning begins with a troupe of uppity ostriches in ballet gear waking up, exercising and helping themselves to a cornucopia of fruit for breakfast. They fight over some grapes only to lose them in a pool. Something bubbles up from beneath and the ostriches run away in terror, but it’s only the prima ballerina of the piece, Hyacinth Hippo. She prepares for the day with help from her handmaidens and dances around a bit. Then she lies down for a nap, but no sooner do her ladies in waiting leave than some playful elephants come out of hiding and dance around Hyacinth unawares.

Elephants blowing bubbles in a Disney feature…nah, it’ll never catch on.

The elephants are blown away by a gust of wind (must be a really strong breeze), and with the coming of night a sinister band of crocodiles sneak up on Hyacinth. They scatter at the sudden arrival of their leader, Prince Ben Ali Gator, who immediately falls in love with Hyacinth. Surprisingly, the feeling is mutual.

I’m calling it – first body positivity romance in a Disney flick.

The climax of the piece has the crocodiles returning to wreak havoc on the palace and pulling the ostriches, elephants, and hippos back into a frenzied dance which brings down the house.

No bones about it, Dance of the Hours is a comic masterpiece and one of Fantasia’s crowning jewels. And the moment it ended was always the signal for younger me to stop the tape and rewind it to the beginning, due to what follows making a complete and terrifying 180…

Night on Bald Mountain – Modest Mussorgsky / Ave Maria – Franz Schubert

At last we come to our final part, two radically different classical works that blend perfectly into each other. And brother, what a note to end on.

Composer Modest Mussorgsky passed away before completing his masterwork “Night on the Bare Mountain”, a tonal poem depicting a witches’ sabbath from Slavic mythology. His friend, the great Rimsky-Korsakov, finished it for him while adding his own personal touch. The result is some of the most iconic and terrifying music ever created, and the accompanying animation, with the exception of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, is the most faithful to its source material.

The scene takes place on Walpurgis Night, which is the closest thing Europe has to a real-life Summerween (those lucky so-and-so’s), on the titular mountain. The mountain’s peak opens up revealing Chernabog, the Slavic deity of darkness.

Chernabog is a masterclass in design and form. It’s easy to mistake him for Satan himself – Walt Disney and Deems Taylor both refer to him as such – though considering he’s technically Slavic Satan, there’s not too big a distinction. Chernabog radiates power, terror and pure darkness from his intro alone. You can imagine him influencing all other Disney villains to do his will, essentially filling in the horned one’s hooves. Chernabog was skillfully handled by Bill Tylta, an early Disney animator with enough talent to create characters as diverse as Stromboli and Dumbo. Bela Lugosi, the original Dracula, posed for reference pictures in the early design stages, though Tylta ultimately discarded them in favor of some different inspiration – sequence director Wilfred Jackson as model, and Tytla’s own Czech heritage. He grew up with folktales of Chernabog, which served him well during the production.

“Soon, master. The one known as Jackson shall take up your mantle and we shall feast upon humanity yet again.”

Chernabog unleashes his might on to the sleeping village below and raises the dead from the cemetery. A cabal of witches, wraiths and demons gallop on the wind and take part in his infernal revelry. Yet they are but playthings to the evil being. He transforms the creatures into alluring sirens and wretched beasts, sics harpies on them, condemns them to the flames, and lustfully embraces the hellish blaze. It’s an in your face pageantry of pure malevolence that you can’t look away from

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #6: “This is too scary for kids!! What the hell were they thinking?!”

I think it’s time we made one thing clear: Fantasia was NOT made for children – or to be more accurate, not EXCLUSIVELY for children. While Disney movies are made to be enjoyed by both kids and adults, Fantasia is the only one who dared to appeal to a more mature audience, and Night on Bald Mountain is proof of that. It had the audacity to explore some of the most darkest, ancient depictions of evil in a way that no Disney feature has before or since. Most importantly, it’s not done for shock value like any random horror movie you could name. It’s meant to show the juxtaposition between the darkest depravity and purest good; combined with Ave Maria it makes for the perfect symbolic climax to Fantasia. Light versus darkness, chaos versus order, life versus death, profane versus sacred, and the quest to master them all are the themes that unify the seemingly disparate sequences, and this finale is the apotheosis of that.

I stated in my Mickey’s Christmas Carol review that Bald Mountain was one of my first introductions to the concept of eternal damnation at the tender age of…I wanna say four, five? It was easily one of the most petrifying things from my childhood, but at least I could avoid some exposure to it thanks to its position at the very end. Though now I adore Night on Bald Mountain for how bold and striking it is. Tytla’s animation, Kay Nielsen’s stunning demon designs, and Schultheis’ effects culminate in harmonious diabolical artwork that’s impossible to extricate from the music. It’s a shame Schultheis left the studio after Fantasia. He met a mysterious, tragic end in Guatemala, right around the time Bill Tytla left too as a matter of fact…

“He knew too much…about the secrets of animation, I mean. Nothing at all about das vampyr walking the earth. No sir.”

Yet at the height of his power, one thing stops Chernabog cold – the sound of church bells. Disney historian John Culhane saw Fantasia during its original theatrical run (lucky so and so…) and he recalled how much having FantaSound affected his screening: when the bells rang, he could hear them coming from the back of the theater and slowly course their way up front as their power grew. It was an awe-inspiring moment that took the Bald Mountain experience one step further into reality.

The bells and the rising sun drive Chernabog and his minions back into the mountain and the restless spirits return to their graves. In the misty morning a procession of pilgrims glides through the woods like a parade of tiny lights, and thus the Ave Maria begins. It’s one of the rare times Disney has gone overtly Christian. Maybe Walt wanted to get back into the God-fearing American public’s good graces after the sorcery, paganism, devil worship and evolution theory we’ve witnessed in the past hour and fifty minutes. It does relieve the tension from the previous turn of events.

The first pitch had the march enter a cathedral, but Walt didn’t believe recreating something people can already see in Europe. So instead they move through a forest with trees and natural rock formations resembling the Gothic architecture of a cathedral. It’s the stronger choice in my opinion. The implication speaks greater volumes than a specific location, subtly connecting nature to the divine. It’s difficult to make out most of the hymn’s words, but regardless it sounds beautiful, especially those final triumphant notes as the sky lights up over a view of the verdant hilltops.

“When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.”

And with that, Fantasia comes to a close.

Really, what else can I say about it at this point. I keep forgetting this movie came out in 1940. It’s virtually timeless, and a must-see for anyone who loves animation and classic film and wants to jump into either one.

Fantasia was a critical and box office success…sort of. Despite the praise and high box office returns for the time, it sadly wasn’t enough to make up for the cost of putting it all together. Like Pinocchio before it, the war cut off any foreign revenue. And not every theater was willing or able to shell out for that nifty surround sound so the effects were lost on most people. Then there’s the audience response, which is the most depressing of all. The casual moviegoers still viewed Walt as the guy behind those wacky mouse cartoons and called him out for being a pretentious snob, while the highbrow intellectuals accused Walt of debasing classical music by shackling it to animation. The poor guy just couldn’t win.

Fantasia marked the end of an era. Never again would Walt attempt a feature so ambitious. His plans of making Fantasia a recurring series, with old segments regularly swapped out for new ones, would not be seen in his lifetime. There’s been the occasional copycat (Allegra non troppo), a handful of spiritual successors (Make Mine Music, Yellow Submarine), and of course the sequel which I’m sure I’ll get to eventually, but through it all, there is only one Fantasia. And no amount of my ramblings can hope to measure up to it. Fantasia is one of those movies you simply have to experience for yourself, preferably on the biggest screen available with a top of the line sound system. I know it’s a cliche for Internet critics to name this as their favorite animated Disney movie, but…yes, it’s mine too. It opened a door to a world of culture and art at a young age. The power of animation is on full display, and it’s affected the way I look at the medium forever. Fantasia was, and still is, a film ahead of its time.

Thank you for reading. I hope you can understand why this review took me nearly three months! If you enjoyed this, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patreon supporters get perks such as extra votes and adding movies of their choice to the Shelf. If I can get to $100, I can go back to making weekly tv show reviews. Right now I’m halfway there! Special thanks to Amelia Jones and Gordhan Ranaj for their contributions.

You can vote for whatever movie you want me to look at next by leaving it in the comments or emailing me at upontheshelfshow@gmail.com. Remember, unless you’re a Patreon supporter, you can only vote once a month. The list of movies available to vote for are under “What’s On the Shelf”.

Artwork by Charles Moss. Certain screencaps courtesy of animationscreencaps.com.

To learn more about Fantasia, I highly recommend both John Culhane’s perennial book on the film and The Lost Notebook by John Canemaker, which reveals the long-lost special effects secrets which made Fantasia look so magical.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be spending the rest of the month with my handy dandy garlic, stake and crucifix and pray Bill Tytla doesn’t visit me this Walpurgis Night. I suggest you do the same.

March Review: Fantasia (1940) And now we come to the final piece of Walt Disney's original animation trifecta, Fantasia, and it's one I'm both anticipating and dreading.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Latvia to Eurovision with a cinematic French rendez-vous

Supernova with their strict-on decision to only focus on all that’s radiofriendly this year went to hell for me. I mean, I like me some pop tunes, but not those that are purposefully marketed to be enjoyed by the massive sheeps of the Eurofandom who usually fall for those songs by Michael James Down, Will Taylor, even Ylva & Linda... because at the end of the day they’re all just shallow and pointless outside the ESC bubble.

Well the best they could do is to accept some different winds out of nowhere! And so they did when the audition stage hit place and we guys got to witness the 33 shortlisted tunes for this year, among which of them are loudly and proudly different - like “Alligator” and “Grow”, which I did not fathom but I was also raging for their not qualification for - more precisely “Alligator” which was way more outstanding of those two I mentioned. The guys that performed that song were fun, their performance choice was fun, they could have totally rocked on Supernova... but alas.

In fact not that many alternative songs made it to the final down-to-16 cut! There might have been a couple of those that sound nothing a radio would play unless it’s not playing pop on its purpose (Laime Pilnīga’s ”Awe” comes to mind right away), but in the end of the day, not many of those survived and we were graced with some... choices, like letting Samanta Tina waste herself on a cocky-ass tune with terrible chorus rhyme-scheme and unbearable charisma and putting through the most Eirodziesma-like mess-fest with the Beaver guy on top of it. Honey I like you in costume but... not in this emploi.

I don’t blame them though, as one of non-blatant-pop tunes conquered the Latvian hearts for this year. These next Latvian people in Laura Rizzotto’s succession are collectively named Carousel and their song is “That Night”.

It sets a romantic mood throughout, like we all are reliving this magical last date - it was in a restaurant, the candles were lit, the restaurant looked vintage with bordeaux satin tablecloth on the table, and the couple is having a smooth evening... until the love runs out to the probably cold and rainy streets and the other half of the couple starts longing for one's love. That's all I can imagine with this.

So yeah, I really like this! It's got lovely instrumentation that doesn't need all the over the top instruments - just guitar, simple drums, etc.; the noir flair is distinct on here and that's not bad on here; this is just a simple and soft song that you too could play in your own restaurants when all the lovely couples have romantic dinners and sip wine. And in some kind of a French movie, too (with the lead role being a curly redhead artiste with striped sweater, looking for love in Paris (because it’s so romantic in there honhonhon). I'm not sure if the revamp touched upon this one little problem I noticed but the problem kinda seems to be that the chorus repeats. A lot. And verses are way too short that they could be easily forgotten against the 4th and 5th time one would be hearing the "lo-o-o-o-ove, where? Are? You?" line, and then lulled into sleep at how peacefully relaxing it is. Which is indeed of a problem because repetition has quite a bit of a negative effect on people. Yes, it gets the song onto your brain more easily, but the repetition drives people insane too. Just like it was suspected for “Story of My Life” (Belarus 2017) on its original version to be unable to be ‘stood’ - after the 2nd chorus, the rest of the song just went like “hey hey hayayayaho” until the end. Naviband fixed the problem by throwing in another vocal onomatopoeia in a form of the song bridge and I loved them for it, even if there still were too many “hey hey hey”s at the end, haha.

Final conclusion? Yep, issa good entry, and if anything it’s helluva underrated. Say what you want about it being “boring”, to me it’s somewhat fresh and exciting, because the melodies are pleasant, the instrumentation is top notch and Sabīne’s vocals are relaxing. Delightful starry night music, oh yes, thanks a lot for it, Carousel, I’m taking it.

Obviously, after they won Supernova, there was a lowkey uprising from fans who were dead certain on wanting Edgars Kreilis or Markus Riva to win, eek. Honeys, honeys. I do like those two as well, BUT for a bit of a mess that Supernova 2019 was with some of their decisions to include, I think it’s for the better they finally let themselves go lighthearted over it all rather than blatant tryhard to sound radio for the masses just cuz the NF wanted. Just forgive Carousel for winning, okay? Okay. ^_^

Approval factor: Definite yes from me, because why wouldn’t I rate it a yes. Yay brotherland!

Follow-up factor: For me personally this is miles better than Laura Rizzotto's last year's melodrama. Overall I think it just flows nice and is a delightful addition to the Latvian collection.

Qualification factor: This I cannot think about all too often but I am not sure if they'd... stand a chance anymore? I'd use to think it did, but that was weeks before supposedly much stronger entries rushed in, squeezing Latvia into an uncomfortable position. But I really hope it's just charming enough to kind of get through. Sort of. A little bit. I'm positive about it happening, but not that much. And a lot of older audiences might love it enough to vote it, too.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I admit that I got way too heated about hearing Supernova’s new approach to selecting entries, but in the end it turned out that I didn’t need to worry all that much in the first place - some of those alternative entries we got were very nice (or at least the entries out of the standart overbearing radio-pop norm), both in their actual auditions (this time they were on an actual stage in front of a jury instead of the listeners pick-pocketing the submissions themselves) AND among the actual picks. But what else is there to be note-worthy in this year’s edition of this show?

• Well, among of the auditionees there were those too-weird-ass bands/artists (some of them I mentioned), and you saw me mention the “Alligator” song to you beforehand, which is done by an ambitious project ATOM.LV (so did I mention “Grow" by Waterflower and her show is worth mentioning as well <3 Those flowers in her hair, the hair color, the makeup, her overall image (it’s like Jamie-Lee upgraded) and the dance moves are ADORABLE <3333 but the song is... hmm... :c). And I’ll repeat myself - those guys rocked! I may have not been a massive fan of this but I can at least commend them - they had a good song structure going on, a clear message (alligators from the stars *catchy trumpet fanfare part* trying to probably conquer the world, yeah!) and an outrageous tribal image with that facepaint on! Awh hell yeah! Who wouldn't want THAT through the live shows??? Ah, only the Latvian juries ofc. (And me because I never got the appeal of this but I sure felt sad for 'em kids hoping and wishing for them through :x)

• Thank Goodness I had my faves through - all hail Double Faced Eels! They're the little legendary pop band who went all their way to compete in some Youtube contest and have had sung with Bebe Rexha as the prize for winning it almost 1,5 years ago :o Believe it or not but I have heard of them way before their Sulernova stint - I got introduced to them through a friend, known on Tumblr as Soupgeist. :3 And I don't regret stanning a name I know, as "Fire", their entry in this year's 'Nova, was a pop-rock banger with some electro in! Granted the vocaliat might've had some troubles singing live but he still pulled it off nicely in the finals, with that energy coming out on top! Yeah yeah, uguns. 🔥

• Like I mentioned earlier, there were people rooting for other favourites this year so heavily, and that annoyed the hell out of me, because I thought that Eurofans have some sort of evolving tastes that accept more than just pretty pop boys/girls with not-so-special songs? Well, I mentioned that Eurofans’ targets were Edgars Kreilis and Markus Riva. The latter felt so attacked about him trying to achieve his representation dream over and over he even tweeted about it once... well I did like his song “You Make Me So Crazy”, but I found it a little too overrated with the fans. So I did Edgars, but his song was way catchier and had way more personality than being a club track, I tell ya. Why would his song be renamed from “Fire” (yes, he partially shared a song title with that Double Faced Eels’s song!) to “Cherry Absinthe”, anyway? It gives it a bit more of an exciting feeling, tbh. ^_^ So I ended up rooting for him a little bit more out of the two ‘pretty’ pop boys, if I had to accept one of those kind of winners that everyone wanted (like everyone wanted just either yesyes or The Middletonz for Hungary this year).

• There were a lot of other nice chosen songs too that I would’ve loved to discuss, but I just can’t not mention the Riga’s Beaver as one of the more memorable moments here. I did write earlier in this that I was disappointed though. Not because of the beaver being out of costume and coming at us as a young-to-middle-aged stunning lad, but because the Beaver-entry, “Tautasdziesma”, was a “Supernova”-times cluster-mess. I think of this as a charity music medley-parody of some sorts, and that doesn’t bode with me well, and sometimes I like parodies, like the one Klemen Slakonja (aka the guy who portrayed Putin for a musical number once) did in his country’s NF in 2012 (that he hosted) was fairly nice (although a bit too much), but... ehhh... at least the men are fine and their costumes were dandy.

• Let’s not forget that those auditions had this one glorious thing going on during the performances - we saw shots of the jurors judging all of the 33 shortlisted acts with... rather less-than-enthusiastic looks, and man oh man were they fabulously done with this shit <3333

if that’s not a big indicator of them being too dead inside to be judging anything that day, then idk what is...

Anyway, I am finished with this review also, and I’m happy about it! I don’t think I can move any of this at a more quicker pace (seriously, I have to do so many more even during rehearsals!!!), but I am still trying to do my best. Good luck to the Carousel quartet and may they not flop in May! To hell with the naysayers sweeties, you’ll do just fine x ✨

[elizabeth-daae]

My TOP 10 Favorite Country Songs

Because why not? Though I hate most modern country music, I used to listen to nearly nothing but country and metal back when I was a kid. I will not be repeating any artists on this list. So these are just some of my all-time favorite country songs of all time. 

10. Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver 

This is not John Denver’s Version, I just prefer it... Because I listen to it as cities are destroyed by a mad Irishman. 

9. How Do I Live? by LeeAnn Rimes. 

I love LeeAnn Rimes, the problem is, I have a list and she cannot be on it but once. This song really songs 90s movie soundtrack listening to it again. Which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just clear in it’s time period. So I looked it up, this song was released in 1997, so this song is as old as I am! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Olo8gzgpC4

8. Love Story by Taylor Swift

I was a big fan of Taylor Swift from 2006 to around 2010 when I became too edgy for her stuff. *Flashbacks* Let’s just say, though this song is stupid in many ways, it brings me back. Also this music video! I want that dress so bad!!!! :) 

7. I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

This is actually this first time I’m watching the music video for this song... Not bad, but oh my god the early 2000s. Also for some reason, this song reminds me of my grandpa? Don’t remember this song ever playing with him, but I guess he gave me a similar message. Oh well! Love it!

6. Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks

I actually couldn’t decide if I wanted to put this song on here or Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks. Just consider them tied, one is just more entertaining than the other. 

5. Hurt by Johnny Cash

This is one of the few songs on here that is not in reference to my childhood or teen years, this is completely dependent on the movie Logan (2017). I’d heard the song of course, and heard the original version by NIИ, but this movie really brought out my love for it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc (Apparently the link button isn’t working anymore.)

4. Fancy by Reba

Do I even need to speak of the majesty that is Fancy by Reba McEntire? I mean really? This is one of the best songs by Reba for me. Just listen! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIwbegWh1S0&t=54s 

3. Man! I Feel like a Woman by Shania Twain

So first things first, I’ve actually heard an argument that Shania Twain is what killed country music and that’s why we’re living in the age of “Bro-Country”. No. No. She didn’t kill country music, country music killed itself. Country music decided to go from the fun but rebellious music of the working class, to the music of an overly patriotic, they have always been patriotic just more than before, and unquestioning people. 

When did this happen? When Miley Cyrus sang Hoedown Throwdown in the Hannah Montana movie. That’s when Country music started its death spiral. Or maybe it was 9/11? I think the Hoedown Throwdown. There is good modern country music out there, it’s just I don’t feel like finding it and honestly, is it even worth it? 

Rant over! So my dad was a big fan of Shania Twain when I was younger and whenever she came on the radio or he had one of the CDs with him for car trips, she was played loudly. And honestly, this is good stuff. So this could have gone to about every other Shania song in her discography, but I choose this one because it makes me smile. And while rewatching this video though, made me have a whole other gay realization. And another song that came out in 1997! :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJL4UGSbeFg

2. Jolene by Dolly Parton

A song that was difficult to choose from considering Dolly’s long list of hits. 9 to 5, I Will Always Love You, Here You Come Again, or Why’d You Come in Looking like that?. This song I’d actually never heard until I was in middle school and watching CMT before school and saw the old footage of Dolly singing it. 

I loved it as soon as I had heard it! And so for it being a fun song for all music lovers, no matter their genre preference, Jolene by Dolly Parton is number 2. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW25foOMkwI

1. When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss. 

I grew up with a live version of Alison Krauss and Union Station CD. I love(d) that thing to bits, I own it on about every medium but vinyl. I’ll be honest and say I loved almost every single song off that album, but of course, this song always stood out as the best. Alison Krauss has many beautiful songs sung with that angelic voice of hers. But, this one will always be my favorite, and thus, this song is my number 1 pick for my favorite country songs. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SCOimBo5tg

I got bored. Want to see more lists? No? Okay then, more on their way! :)