#top 5 south park crack ships

[queerwolf79]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @eyesofatragedy67

1. How many works do you have on A03?

121 so far, that number will increase within the next couple of months.

2. What's your total word count?

3,439,494

Holy shit, and that's not including the word count of unpublished works or the original novel I'm currently editing!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: Supernatural; Good Omens; Our Flag Means Death; Red, White, and Royal Blue, (MAYBE DEAD BOY DETECTIVES BACK OFF)

Past: South Park; High School Musical; Beauty and the Beast; Harry Potter; Blades of Glory; and Glee.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Top 5 in general (this includes co-written fics):

In a Mirror, Darkly (written with @anyreiart) - 3,068

Red, White, and Royal Blue Balls - 2,365

Playing with Fire (written with @anyreiart) - 1,748

That Wasn’t Supposed to Fucking Happen! (written with @anyrei) - 1,387

The Heart of Ophelia (written with @anyreiart) - 1,357

Top 5 Solo Fics:

Red, White, and Royal Blue Balls - 2,365

La Rose Cachée - 1,146

Twenty After Four - 390

You Know I’m No Good - 326

And Walk Yourself to the Laundromat - 318

5. Do you respond to comments?

UGH, not as much as I should, and I used to be really good about responding to all comments, but presently my inbox on Ao3 has 4402 “unread” comments and I just… I can’t, it’s too overwhelming at this point with working two jobs. But I read and genuinely appreciate every single comment, even if I can’t reply to every single one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ah. That’s a toss up between Nothing’s Gonna Change My World and Through the Rift Series. In my opinion, the former, but I’m sure Any would beg to differ.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh, fun! Ummmm. Most of them have happy endings (both literally and figuratively). I guess the “happiest” ending goes to the crack fic I wrote for Any’s birthday seven years ago. Crack in the Fourth Wall

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh, you betcha. The first time we got a shitty comment on a joint fic, Any said, “We’ve made it!” Thankfully, when a certain newsletter was dismantled, the anti-destiel harassment died down. I/We still get the occasional “concrit” comment from readers who think it’s an okay thing to give unsolicited writing advice, and I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Constructive criticism cannot exist in already posted fanfiction world, you aren’t being constructive or critiquing, you’re literally filing a complaint, leaving a bad review. So either embrace the fact you’re a shitty 1-star Yelp review Karen, or stop leaving concrit.

9. Do you write smut?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

10. Craziest crossover?

I actually don’t write crossovers, but keep your eyes peeled! I recently participated in the CasDean Reverse Crossover Bang, and in a little over a week, I’ll be posting my Harry Potter crossover fic featuring art by the amazing @rezal-art!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not technically, or in a way that could be proven, but a very popular fic very much felt like a rip off of one of mine and Any’s fics, one that a well known author (a friend of the author of aforementioned rip off) made it a point to tell potential readers to not read the ending of because said author didn’t like the polyamory of it all.

Even funnier, that same author shortly after wrote their own poly fic. So, I guess personal preferences used to justify telling people to not read someone’s fic can sometimes beget a change of heart if it gets you more comments/readers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Any and I have had a couple of our fics translated into Chinese, Russian, and Spanish! And we are here for anyone who wishes to translate any of our fics, just let us know and send us a link, and we will include it in the notes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. At this point, I prefer to not write alone. Any needs to stop allowing it to happen.

14. All-time favorite ship?

Okay, so… technically, it’s Destiel. It’s the only pairing that survived the end of its series. Dean Winchester and Castiel are my two favorite archetypes of characters and their specific dynamic transcends canon bad endings and any type of universe.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have any! The last time I posted a WIP, it took me a couple years to finish, so I promised myself I would only post completed fics from now on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Comedic scenarios and dialogue. I like the funnies and the speakings.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I fucking hate it, okay? Why can’t you all just know what’s in my damn head? I also have a toxic, codependent relationship with commas and sentence fragments.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

A little mixed. So, barring it being like… Latin, or a more archaic language that you use an unreliable online translator for or a language you speak, I believe for believable dialogue, you should have a friend or someone who can confirm/verify that the language is written correctly, otherwise, I vote you write, “they spoke in x language,” and interpret in the narrative. And no writing an accent in dialogue for characters where English is a second language phonetically! Like, authentic structure of a sentence, rhythm, or word choice is fine, but let’s not be offensive folks.

19. First fandom you ever wrote in?

Harry Potter over twenty years ago now. I’m an old.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oooh, that’s fun. Ummmm. For co-written, it’s a toss up between Five Dimensions, or Dean’s Crusade: A Dance with Self Discovery with @anyreiart or Heaven on htraE with @eyesofatragedy67 and for solo it’s a toss up between I Wish for This and La Rose Cachée

Tag time! @anyreiart @punk-is-notdead and whoever else wants to do this!

[bowlingforgerbils]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @gretchensinister for tagging me!

How many works have you written for AO3?

40 works! I have some older stuff on fanfiction.net.

What’s your total word count?

Do you know that this is the first time I've ever looked at the Statistics on my AO3 account. I didn't know I could see my total word count! Anyway it's 149,665.

What fandoms do you write for?

These days it's pretty much Good Omens. But I have not forgotten my first love, Rise of the Guardians.

Top 5 fics by kudos

"Jackpot", "He Followed me Home", "I wear your grandad's clothes, I look incredible", "Under the Mistletoe", and "I Promise to Take Care of Him."

The first and the third one are Pacific Rim fanfics, the fourth one is a Good Omens fanfic, and the second and fifth one are my two-parter about Charlie and the Scientist, a crack pairing in the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia canon.

Do you respond to comments?

Yes. It's my way of showing appreciation that someone enjoyed my silly little story. And I'm always happy to answer questions or talk about the characters. <3

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Umm.... I don't really do angsty endings... I guess Shakespeare in the Park? It's not a happy ending, anyway.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, this is hard, almost all I write are happy endings! Maybe Co-Habitation, because it ends with Aziraphale and Crowley living in the South Downs, which is my Good Omens endgame.

Do you get hate on fics?

No, although when I originally started posting When You Wish Upon the Moon on fanfiction.net, someone whined at me in the comments about not wanting me to ship Pitch Black and Sandy together. Thankfully, AO3 has a great tagging system, so I assume anyone reading my stories knows what they are getting into beforehand.

Do you write smut?

Yes! Not lately. I should rectify that. :3

Do you write crossovers?

Yes, occasionally, if the mood strikes me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so... I have a vague memory of someone asking, but that might have been on fanfiction.net.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but many of my Rise of the Guardians fanfics wouldn't be what they are without the collective world-building of the blacksand community.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

In general? Probably Aziraphale and Crowley. That I've written? Probably Pitch and Sandy.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have a Good Omens pirate AU in my WIP folder that I lost steam in writing, but never say never.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at dialogue, and also creating a plot that gives characters a chance to express themselves and hopefully experience some growth.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Moving the characters around in the physical space. I don't know if it's because of my generally weak spatial skills, but imagining where the characters are in the environment and each other is really hard! Fighting scenes in particular give me such a headache.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

It's not something I do, personally, except for a word here and there for flavor. I doubt that adding several lines of badly Google translated dialogue is going to add anything beneficial to my story.

First fandom you wrote for?

The Chronicles of Prydain, although I didn't know it was called fanfic because I was twelve and this was before the internet as we know it existed. It was about a self-insert fairy who was Doli's girlfriend. I liked how grouchy he was!

Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's a tough call, but probably He Followed Me Home. Not only because it was so much fun to write, but because I've received so many comments about how this story is a "comfort fic" for them, something that they read and re-read to feel better, and if that's not the highest compliment that I can receive as an author, then I don't know what is.

I tag whomever wants to do this!

[golden--doodler]

Ahhhhhhh thank you so much for tagging me in this, Babs! <Cracks knuckles> This is going to be fun:

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

How many works do you have on ao3? 8 on AO3 as of this moment :D

What's your total word count? For AO3, my official word count is 43,622!

What fandoms do you write for? Bob's Burgers is my main one! I've also written for many other fandoms such as Marvel, South Park, Gravity Falls (though that one isn't published yet), and The Cuphead Show!, just to name a few.

Top 5 fics by kudos: A Cold Winter's Night, Finding Joy Amidst Turmoil, Parents and Problems, Nothing Makes Me Happier (these two are tied with the amount of kudos they have), and Chives and Conversations.

Do you respond to comments? Absolutely! I adore reading people's sweet, sweet comments. If someone took the time to comment on my fic, I usually want to respond to them. Comments give me so much serotonin, you don't understand. I can't get enough of them.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Not really sure, actually. Angst hurts my heart. There have definitely been angsty moments in some of my fics, but I'm not sure about an ending. I guess you can count the first chapter of Fallen on Deaf Ears because Linda loses her hearing aids because of Grover? She gets new ones from Mr. Fischoeder, but it's still pretty dramatic.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Nothing Makes Me Happier, that fic is basically fluff the entire way through, and the ending is borderline tooth-rotting sweetness. Probably the happiest oneshot I've written thus far. It definitely has a special place in my heart.

Do you get hate on fics? Not yet, actually! :D

Do you write smut? Yes 😏 (well, once)

Do you write crossovers? Not as of yet! A long time ago I had one planned, but it was scrapped (if you want to know, it was a crossover between Gravity Falls and Solar Opposites).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope, at least not that I know of. Hopefully it stays that way.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not as of this moment, but that would be so cool.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Sort of, yes! I've been co-writing a Mission Impossible and Ghostbusters fic with my best friend, both of which are unfinished right now but will hopefully become finished eventually. Oh yes, and we're technically cowriting a Gravity Falls fic too. I probably can't list all of the things we've collaborated on.

What's your all-time favorite ship? 🥰🥰🥰 Boblin 🥰🥰🥰 Some of my other all-time favorite ships include (but are not limited to): Tina and Josh, whatever their ship name is, from Bob's Burgers, Tinimmy from Bob's Burgers, Roudise (AKA Louwheeze) from Bob's Burgers, probably Louigan (I just love enemies to lovers) from Bob's Burgers, my OC, Alexis, and Gene (imma call them Living La Vega Belcher as their ship name) from Bob's Burgers (is it narcissistic to list a ship you created??), Bunny from South Park, Kyman from South Park, my OCs Maggie and Sydney (I still can't think of a good ship name for them, but I called them Mydney once) from Gravity Falls (is it still narcissistic to list a ship you created??), to make it fair I'll list my best friend's OC, Kay, and Ford from Gravity Falls, Dipcifica from Gravity Falls, Reddie from It (2017), Torvo from Solar Opposites, Stage Dorks from Be More Chill, Kleinsen from Dear Evan Hansen, Adam and Barbara, whatever their ship name is, from Beetlejuice, Lumity from The Owl House, M&M from Helluva Boss, probably Wildehopps from Zootopia (I'm still not sure if I completely ship them, but their chemistry is so *chef's kiss* 🤌🏼) Hector and Imelda from Coco, Coraline and Wybie from Coraline, Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Rapunzel and Eugene from Tangled (actually made me believe in love), and I should probably cut myself off there. There are so many more ships I could've listed! This just goes to show how many fandoms I'm in and how much of a multishipper I am.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? I have this WIP that's an AU of if Bob and Linda met as children which I never finished and kind of stopped, at least for now. It kind of delved into Bob's relationship with his parents as well, and would've also delved into Linda's relationship with her parents too. I want to finish it, but that's unfortunately unlikely as of this moment ): It's a really cute idea, though, I think. I also have a WIP of a fic about Evan and Jared from Dear Evan Hansen (specifically their movie counterparts because I wanted to make some positive content for the movie because I didn't enjoy it) from the perspective of their daughter, Paige. I don't think I'll be able to finish that one, but it was fun to write.

What are your writing strengths? Comedy, dialogue, which is probably my biggest strength (especially banter), tooth-rotting fluff (I just love wholesome little things, okay??), and kiss scenes. I've been told by my best friend I write excellent kiss scenes, so I had to add this. Not sure if I'm excellent at them, but I think I can write a decent one.

What are your writing weaknesses? Description, angst, just people being mean to each other in general because it makes me sad, and probably fight scenes/action scenes? After writing my Marvel fic I've realized how tedious writing them is.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? Do a lot of research and get someone who speaks that language to help.

First fandom you wrote for? I can't remember exactly. It might've either been Disney or Warriors Cats (yeah, I know).

Favorite fic you've ever written? As of right now, it's probably either my Gravity Falls fic or Fallen on Deaf Ears. It was such a random and specific idea that actually ended up working incredibly well.

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

How many works do you have on ao3? 39

What's your total word count? 244,555

What fandoms do you write for? Bob's Burgers

Top 5 fics by kudos: Ketchup & Fries (but said to the tune of Shut Up and Drive), Already Medjool Dating, Maybe in Thyme, The Baby-Bitters Club, and Turn Down Corn-Nut

Do you respond to comments? If I don't respond to a comment within a week, you can assume I'm dead. I'm extrinsically motivated, and if I like comments then I need to respect and appreciate my readers by telling them that

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's My Party (and I'll fry if I want to) it’s the angstiest fic all around, but the ending is more so unresolved-ish, like the reader can decide what Louise does

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Just a Coup-ful of Sugar, and I’m hoping fluffy equates to happy. Closely followed by but it’s (yukon) golden!

Do you get hate on fics? Yes

Do you write smut? Yes 😏

Do you write crossovers? They’re not for me

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nah, but that would be neat!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I probably wouldn’t be able to handle giving someone else the reins 😔

What's your all-time favorite ship? 🥰🥰🥰 louigan 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? Drunken Sailor (what will brie do with)

What are your writing strengths? Natural sounding dialogue, titles, and writing comedy

What are your writing weaknesses? Scene setting, describing what people are wearing, sentence structure variation, sincerity, and whump fic

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? Be respectful and consult a native speaker of that language

First fandom you wrote for? Total Drama Island

Favorite fic you've ever written? Today? It's Stacy's Cardamom!

Nobody tagged me, but it looked like fun 😭 plus it’s a good reminder to go back and see what all you HAVE done instead of dwelling on the hypothetical fics you haven’t.

Tagging writers I can think of who I haven’t seen make a 20 questions post (sorry if you’ve already been tagged and also of course feel free to ignore and also also sorry I probably missed someone!): @sailoreuterpe @bimbobarbieusa @marauder23 @big-wet-rose @jimmyjrsmusoems @jimmypesto @jc7005 @cosmicriff @casually-concerned @tully-blue @waytoomanyhobbies @https-hunter @holdingontolou @keepyourhornson-spyro @theangrypomeranian @avatraang @eroticfriendfictions @ironicsopsychotic @golden--doodler @lovelyxxxsymone @thestarstho @secretsofthemourning @smol-lydia

[lady-deadlight]

I read in one of your posts that you have a lot of crack ships and since you already answered about your top 5 (canon i guess) ships, can i ask for top 5 south park crack ships??

oh my god. i regret everything now lol

jk jk

here goesss…

5. Bendy (Bebe x Wendy)

4. Bunny (Butters x Kenny) 

3. Style (Stan x Kyle)

2. Kendy (Kenny x Wendy - I saw fanart of this but as Mysterion/Callgirl and i have to say im def on board…)

1. Stendyle (Stan x Wendy x Kyle - I mean…do I really have to explain myself here? haha)

holy shit I ship Wendy with everyone. My girl is so shippable lol this was a fun list, I have more but its only top 5 so :)

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Biden’s Infrastructure Push Spurs a Flurry of Lobbying in Congress (NYT) Members of Congress have begun a frenzy of lobbying to ensure that their pet projects and policy priorities are included in President Biden’s $2 trillion infrastructure and jobs plan, eager to shape what could be one of the most substantial public works investments in a generation. Officials across the country are dusting off lists of construction projects and social programs, hoping to secure their piece of a plan aimed at addressing what the administration estimates is at least $1 trillion worth of backlogged infrastructure improvements, as well as economic and racial inequities that have existed for decades. “My phone is blowing up,” Pete Buttigieg, the transportation secretary, said in an interview. Nearly every lawmaker “can point to a road or a bridge or an airport” in his or her district that is in dire need of repair.

Truck seized over ‘munitions of war,’ 5 forgotten bullets (AP) Gerardo Serrano ticked off the border crossing agents by taking some photos on his phone. So they took his pickup truck and held onto it for more than two years. Only after Serrano filed a federal lawsuit did he get back his Ford F-250. Now he wants the Supreme Court to step in and require a prompt court hearing as a matter of constitutional fairness whenever federal officials take someone’s property under civil forfeiture law. The justices could consider his case when they meet privately on Friday. It’s a corner of the larger forfeiture issue, when federal, state or local officials take someone’s property, without ever having to prove that it has been used for illicit purposes. Since 2000, governments have acquired at least $68.8 billion in forfeited property, according to the Institute for Justice, a libertarian public interest law firm that represents Serrano and tracks seizures. The group says the number “drastically underestimates forfeiture’s true scope” because not all states provide data. Serrano’s troubles stemmed from some pictures he took along the way of a long trip from his home in Tyner, Kentucky, to visit relatives, including a dying aunt, in Zaragosa, Mexico. The photo-taking attracted the attention of U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents in Eagle Pass, Texas. When Serrano refused to hand over the password to his phone, the agents went through the 2014 silver pickup truck in great detail. They justified its seizure by saying they found “munitions of war” inside—five forgotten bullets, though no gun. Told to park the truck, he said, he complained a bit before one agent reached into the pickup, opened the door, unfastened Serrano’s seat belt and yanked him out of the vehicle. “I got rights, I got constitutional rights and he snaps back at me, ‘You don’t have no rights here. I’m sick and tired of hearing about your rights.’ That took me aback,” Serrano said.

Should the U.S. boycott the 2022 Winter Olympics in China? (Washington Post) As if there aren’t enough sources of Sino-U.S. friction already, an emerging new irritant may soon outpace the rest: the growing calls for a boycott of Beijing’s 2022 Winter Olympics. The games are still 10 months away. But it’s not too early for the event to turn into a flash point. Critics of China’s ruling Communist Party—including a coalition of more than 180 human rights organizations—argue that the regime’s record of human rights abuses and geopolitical malfeasance ought to deprive it of the right to burnish its image with a spectacle like the Olympics. “Beijing won the right to host the 2022 Olympics in 2015, the same year it cracked down on lawyers and activists across China,” Chinese human rights lawyer Teng Biao wrote earlier this year. “Since then, it has detained journalists; harassed and attacked activists and dissidents even outside China’s borders; shut down nongovernmental organizations; demolished Christian churches, Tibetan temples and Muslim mosques; persecuted, sometimes to death, believers in Falun Gong; and sharply increased its control of media, the Internet, universities and publishers.” An Olympic boycott has become a popular cause among Republicans. Major sporting events—and especially international spectacles like the Olympics—always bear a political dimension.

‘Huge’ explosion rocks St. Vincent as volcano keeps erupting (AP) La Soufriere volcano fired an enormous amount of ash and hot gas early Monday in the biggest explosive eruption yet since volcanic activity began on the eastern Caribbean island of St. Vincent late last week, with officials worried about the lives of those who have refused to evacuate. Experts called it a “huge explosion” that generated pyroclastic flows down the volcano’s south and southwest flanks. “It’s destroying everything in its path,” Erouscilla Joseph, director of the University of the West Indies’ Seismic Research Center, told The Associated Press. “Anybody who would have not heeded the evacuation, they need to get out immediately.” The ongoing volcanic activity has threatened water and food supplies, with the government forced to drill for fresh water and distribute it via trucks. “We cannot put tarpaulin over a river,” said Garth Saunders, minister of the island’s water and sewer authority, referring to the impossibility of trying to protect current water sources from ongoing falling ash.

Colombia’s cartels target Europe (The Guardian) At 5 am on a chilly Tuesday morning last month, 1,600 police officers and balaclava-wearing special forces, bristling with arms and battering rams, were ordered into action around the Belgian port city of Antwerp. More than 200 addresses were raided in what was the largest police operation ever conducted in the country and potentially one of the most significant moves yet against the increasingly powerful narco-gangs of western Europe. An incredible 27 tonnes of cocaine have been seized on Antwerp’s quays, in container ships and safe houses, with an estimated value of €1.4bn (£1.2bn), and many arrests have been made. It has been hailed as a mighty blow against what Belgian federal prosecutor Frédéric Van Leeuw calls “a world where morality has totally disappeared”, but Operation Sky has also highlighted a chilling development. Europe has eclipsed the US as the Colombian cartels’ favoured market, because of higher prices and much lower risks posed by European governments in terms of interdiction, extradition and seizure of assets. Jeremy McDermott, a former British army officer who is now executive director of the thinktank InSight Crime, said a kilogram of cocaine in the US is worth up to $28,000 wholesale but that rises to $40,000 on average in Europe, and nearly $80,000 in some parts of Europe. “It is more money for less risk. I see a deliberate decision by some of the top-level Colombian traffickers, based on sources who sat in a series of meetings in 2005-6, where the business decisions were made,” McDermott said. “It is a business no-brainer.”

Conservative Ex-Banker Headed to Victory in Presidential Election in Ecuador (NYT) Guillermo Lasso, a 66-year-old conservative former banker, was set to win Ecuador’s presidential election and beat out Andrés Arauz, a 36-year-old leftist handpicked by former President Rafael Correa. With more than 94 percent of the votes counted after 10 p.m., Mr. Lasso had 52 percent compared with Mr. Arauz’s 47.32 percent, according to the Electoral Council official counting system in Ecuador. Mr. Arauz conceded defeat. The vote signaled a desire, at least among some, to shift right following years in which Mr. Correa has held sway over the country.

England reopens with pints pulled, shopping sprees and hair cuts (Reuters) People queued up outside retailers across England on Monday to release their pent-up shopping fever and some grabbed a midnight pint or even an early haircut as England’s shops, pubs, gyms and hairdressers reopened after three months of lockdown. After imposing the most onerous restrictions in Britain’s peacetime history, Prime Minister Boris Johnson said the reopening was a “major step” towards freedom but urged people to behave responsibly as the coronavirus was still a threat. Getting people spending again is crucial for Britain’s recovery after official data showed that 2020 was the worst year for its economy in more than three centuries with a 9.8% decline in gross domestic product.

Tropical Cyclone Seroja flattens Australian town (Washington Post) A tropical cyclone battered Australia’s west coast Sunday night and into Monday, destroying homes and leaving thousands without electricity. Severe wind gusts of up to 105 miles per hour tore houses apart and sent debris flying all over Kalbarri, a coastal tourist town of 1,350 people in Western Australia. Authorities estimated some 70 percent of the town’s buildings were damaged. Drone footage from the scene showed dozens of homes with their roofs ripped off. Power lines were down and roads were littered with shards of metal and other debris. Cyclone Seroja made landfall as a category three storm at about 8 p.m. local time on Sunday between the towns of Kalbarri and Gregory. Cyclones of such intensity rarely travel this far south in Australia, and towns outside the cyclone belt are not usually built to withstand the devastating conditions.

Muslims navigate restrictions in the second pandemic Ramadan (AP) For Ramadan this year, Magdy Hafez has been longing to reclaim a cherished ritual: performing the nighttime group prayers called taraweeh at the mosque once again. Last year, the coronavirus upended the 68-year-old Egyptian’s routine of going to the mosque to perform those prayers, traditional during Islam’s holiest month. The pandemic had disrupted Islamic worship the world over, including in Egypt where mosques were closed to worshippers last Ramadan. Ramadan, which begins this week, comes as much of the world has been hit by an intense new coronavirus wave. For many Muslims navigating restrictions, that means hopes of a better Ramadan than last year have been dashed with the surge in infection rates though regulations vary in different countries. A time for fasting, worship and charity, Ramadan is also when people typically congregate for prayers, gather around festive meals to break their daylong fast, throng cafes and exchange visits. Once again, some countries are imposing new restrictions.

Iran blames Israel for sabotage at Natanz nuclear site (AP) Iran on Monday blamed Israel for a sabotage attack on its underground Natanz nuclear facility that damaged the centrifuges it uses to enrich uranium there, warning that it would take revenge for the assault. The comments by Foreign Ministry spokesman Saeed Khatibzadeh represent the first official accusation leveled against Israel for the incident Sunday that cut power across the facility. Israel has not directly claimed responsibility for the attack. However, suspicion fell immediately on it as Israeli media widely reported that a devastating cyberattack orchestrated by Israel caused the blackout. If Israel was responsible, it would further heighten tensions between the two nations, already engaged in a shadow conflict across the wider Middle East. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who met Sunday with U.S. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, has vowed to do everything in his power to stop the nuclear deal. According to US intelligence officials, it could take more than nine months to resume enrichment in the nuclear facility.

Abductions and Torture Rattle Uganda (NYT) Armed men in white minivans without license plates picked up people off the streets or from their homes. Those snatched were taken to prisons, police stations and military barracks where they say they were hooded, drugged and beaten—some left to stand in cellars filled with water up to their chests. The fear is still so palpable in the capital, Kampala, that many others have gone into hiding or left the country. Three months after Uganda’s president, Yoweri Museveni, won a sixth five-year term in office in the most fiercely contested election in years, his government appears to be intent on breaking the back of the political opposition. His principal challenger, Bobi Wine, a magnetic musician-turned-lawmaker who galvanized youthful crowds of supporters, is now largely confined to his house in Kampala. Mr. Wine’s party said on Friday that 623 members, supporters and elected officials have been seized from the streets and arrested in recent weeks, many of them tortured.

Prince Philip’s mourners in the South Pacific (Foreign Policy) The death of Prince Philip, the husband of Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II, triggered mourning rituals across the country over the weekend. The mourning is not only reserved for the United Kingdom—on one of Vanuatu’s islands, Tanna, hundreds of members of a local tribe have long venerated Prince Philip as akin to a god, and are preparing to mourn his passing. Although it’s unclear how the Prince Philip Movement began, it is believed to have taken root in the 1970s—given life by the royal couple’s visit in 1974. Key to the movement is the belief that Prince Philip is one with the tribe, and fulfilled a prophecy of a tribesman who had found a powerful wife overseas and “would return some day, either in person or in spiritual form,” Kirk Huffman, an anthropologist, told the BBC.

[thebiasrekkers]

Make It Right [BTS Mafia AU]

Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut

Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC

Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut

Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 2,327

Tag List: @prisczero, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge, @flowerwrites06, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali, @shrimpmsg, @ggukkieland​

AN: And here we go...

Chapter 57: Boy Meets Evil

“But in order to be free from this crime, it’s impossible to forget and give up.”

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

One Week Later Incheon – Sungui; Nam District South Korea

Hoseok and Seokjin stood side by side as they looked at the large, gray building in front of them. They parked their car at the end of the long road, surveying their surroundings. The morning sky was overcast and shrouded the landscape in hues of grays; desaturating everything. Autumn was already upon them and foliage that was once fully in bloom would soon begin singing their songs of lamentation as they died.

It was the season for beginnings to come to an end.

The old factory was worn from years of neglect. Rust spots were speckled over the iron and there were a few spider cracks along large windows on every side. Several other sedans were parked nearby, presumably Jade Fang members. Hoseok cast a critical eye over them, his gaze meeting Seokjin’s. They both nodded, stepping in sync as they approached the large metal double doors.

His hand went out to reach for the handle, pulling it open. The hinges screamed from abuse, crying for attention. The sound wailed through the expanse as the bottom portion of the door scraped along the concrete flooring. Seokjin followed closely as he entered, pulling the door closed behind him. The ambient noise of the city quickly transformed into that of a tomb.

Their footsteps echoed over the wide space. Hoseok took note of the many wooden crates that lined either walls, giving access to a variety of blind spots. The factory had a single floor that was one big open space. High above it, catwalks ran along the rafters all leading from the factory manager’s office: a metal cube suspended at one end of the warehouse. Abandoned shelf scaffolding broke up the empty space. Crates and pallets were strewn around, making decent hiding places.

He frowned when a few of Changkyun’s underlings looked at him suspiciously – each of them armed with bats, pipes, and knives. Sliding his hand into his pocket, he smirked while shaking his head. It was obvious that Changkyun didn’t trust him and that was fine. After the damage he’d caused, Hoseok couldn’t blame him for taking precautions against him.

Even if this was supposed to be a general meeting.

“Jin Hyung,” a voice called to them, causing both men to halt in their steps.

They looked over to the right where another portion of the factory broke off, seeing Wonho reveal himself. He flicked his tongue out over his lip ring, grinning like a man who’d just won a high stakes poker game. Hoseok slowly blinked as Seokjin situated himself to his right.

Wonho stopped just a few feet short from them. “I didn’t expect you to be here. I figured it would be Namjoon-ah like usual.”

Seokjin shrugged. “Yeah well, we’ve decided not to be so predictable.”

They watched him peer around them, as though he was expecting more people. “The others?”

“None of your business. Besides, he asked to meet me, did he not?”

Hoseok flicked some of his hair out of his eyes, watching the smirk on Wonho’s face grow a little more. There was a small flame of anger that continued to burn in his chest. But he didn’t say anything. He waited for Wonho to look at him, bowing his head in respect, before giving a gentle sigh.

“Where’s Changkyun-ah?”

Without breaking their gaze, Wonho raised his hand up and pointed toward the large metal stairwell that led to the manager’s office. Hoseok started to make his way to the stairwell, but stopped when Wonho side-stepped into his path. He cut his eyes at him, his brows knitting tightly. He was in no mood to play any sort of games right now. This was about business.

“Sorry Hoseok-ah,” he said, holding his hands up in a mock show of surrender, “gotta search you. Boss’s orders.”

Hoseok looked around at the armed men in the warehouse before meeting Wonho’s gaze. “…are you fuckin’ serious?”

Seokjin took a step forward but Hoseok held an arm out to stop him. He rolled his eyes, lifting his other arm so that Wonho could frisk him. No one moved, however, and this irritated him.

“Whatever. Let’s get this over with, huh? I don’t have all day.”

“Yes, yes,” he said, moving toward him.

It didn’t take long for Wonho to search him. The clothing he wore was loose-fitting around his torso while his pants were a slim fit. It made movement easier for him, but would have been obvious had he concealed anything on his person. After the search was finished, he stepped to the side to let Hoseok through. He heard Seokjin move only to take note of the sound of him being stopped. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Wonho was now impeding his brother’s path.

“Wonho-yah,” came Seokjin’s even tone, “move.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Jin Hyung. Hoseok-ah has to go on alone.” He grinned. “You can keep me company instead.”

“It’s okay, Jin Hyung,” reassured Hoseok, “I can handle it from here.”

Seokjin didn’t seem satisfied with this, but he shook his head. He knew there was no stopping Hoseok now that he was set to take care of things once and for all. This would be the last time they would have this altercation with their former brothers of the underworld. Timing was crucial.

Hoseok ascended the stairwell slowly, the iron steps rattling under him as he moved. Both hands were in his pockets as he walked, his eyes continuing to look at all the various angles of the factory warehouse. If he knew Changkyun as well as he thought he did, then his other upper-tiered members were scattered around outside. They would be on the lookout for anyone to try and shake things up.

But he already had an ace up his sleeve for that.

At the top of the stairs, the door to the office stood. To the left, a grated walkway led out over the floor, spreading into catwalks that sprawled the entire place. There was a small square window on the door smudged with dirt. He knocked loudly, the sound reverberating off the walls and bouncing back to hit his body in small tremors. When the door opened, it was Shownu standing in the doorway. They stood silently, almost gauging the other, before he shifted off to the side to allow him entrance. Once inside, Shownu exited the manager’s office and closed the door behind him.

Hoseok saw Changkyun nursing a cup of coffee from an electric kettle. The only furniture in the room were two heavy wooden tables. The rest of the office was bare; a thin slit of a window overlooking the warehouse floor. He watched him turn, smiling as he sipped from the mug. Changkyun held out the cup to Hoseok.

“Did you want me to make you a cup?”

“Are you repurposing this place?”

Changkyun snapped his fingers and pointed at him, a look of satisfaction clearly painted over his face. “Wow, you don’t miss a thing, do you Hyung?”

He shrugged, gesturing to the electric kettle with a simple tilt of his head.

“The market value for this place was decent. People need jobs and I just got my hands on a permit to start turning this into a mass shipping facility.”

“How long have you been working on this?”

He watched him hum, as if he really needed a moment to pause and think. “A few months now.”

“I see.”

“There’s money to be made, so why not make it?” He walked back over to the kettle where another mug sat on the table. “Did you want coffee or no?”

Sighing, Hoseok pulled the sleeve of his jacket back to look at his watch. “I thought we were here to talk business?”

“Always so serious,” he said, smiling, “you can relax. I won’t bite.”

“You killed my brothers and my sister-in-law,” came Hoseok’s slow response, “what the fuck did you expect?”

Changkyun clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth while shaking his head. “Oh, come on now. I already told you that this wasn’t personal.”

“You made it personal.”

“Wrong!” His voice boomed out over the small space. “I made a point.”

Hoseok scoffed. “Is that what you call it? A point?”

“Yes, I do.” He set the cup down on the table. “I warned you, Hyung, about how weak your defenses were when you left your power behind. The people around you were at risk the minute you decided to step into the light. Money and power talk and while money has done you some good, your lack of power exposed your neck to me.”

There was a pregnant pause that stretched between them. He wasn’t sure if Changkyun was waiting for him to respond to his statements, but there was nothing for him to say. Not yet. He wanted to hear everything his former brother had to unleash on him before he came out with a rebuttal of his own.

Changkyun moved away from the table, crossing the room to stand opposite of him. His back was now to the office window while Hoseok’s remained facing the door. They stared each other down; both attempting to read the other.

If looks could kill…

“Your business was with us, the Golden Jackals. You didn’t have to drag Eden into it. She had nothing to do with this.”

Changkyun waggled his finger at him. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

“How?”

“Attacking just you would have seemed personal. That’s not my endgame. Eden was an unfortunate casualty, but she was also a necessary piece that you needed to lose in this game.”

A flash of burning outrage slashed across Hoseok’s chest. For him to refer to his sister-in-law as a mere “casualty” was about as much as he could stand. But instead of launching himself across the room to lay into him, he curled his hands into fists at his sides. He couldn’t let him get under his skin so soon. They’d only just started talking.

He took a breath, a seemingly vain attempt to dampen his anger.

“So,” Hoseok breathed, “you still think this is some kind of game, huh?”

“I do.” He grinned. “And I’ve won.”

Snorting, Hoseok folded his arms across his chest. “The game isn’t over, Changkyun-ah. I still haven’t given you the keys to my kingdom.”

He watched Changkyun’s mouth form into a small ‘O’ before it spread into an arrogant smirk. “And are you?”

“They’re not mine to give.”

“I beg to differ.” Changkyun took another step closer. “You held Yongsan and Gangnam in your hands for years. You controlled those territories in a way that the other district bosses can’t ignore. It won’t be as easy as a simple gang scuffle to settle things.”

Hoseok frowned. “And why not?”

“Because you made it that way.”

He couldn’t stop the incredulous laugh that slipped out of him. “So what? This is my responsibility?”

“It never stopped being your responsibility.” He closed the distance even further, reaching a hand to grasp at Hoseok’s shoulder. “Don’t you see that?”

For a while, all Hoseok could do was look back at him. This was the man he once considered a good friend; a brother. They had so many ideas for the future. Ideas to make things better. Back when everything made sense because life was simpler. Hoseok believed he could talk Changkyun into turning over a new leaf with him – of paving a road with clean hands and leaving the dirtiness of the underworld behind them. He thought that Changkyun was better suited for a life that didn’t involve crime, betrayal, and cruelty.

The hope for that began to dwindle the day Hoseok saw him murder the former Jade Fangs leader in cold blood.

It completely vanished when he cremated his family’s bodies.

“It’s still not too late, Hyung,” urged Changkyun gently, “you can still join me. Reclaim your territories and come back home. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”

Hoseok sighed, closing his eyes and hanging his head slightly. “Changkyun-ah.” He lifted his head, eyelids fluttering as he opened them to meet the other man’s gaze. “I’m glad we had this talk. You’ve confirmed a few things for me.”

Changkyun canted his head slightly, his calm and welcoming expression melting into slight confusion. “What things?”

“That you haven’t changed. That you never will change.” Hoseok smiled pityingly at him. “You’re incapable of it.”

He felt his hand sliding off his shoulder, dropping limply at his side as he frowned. He didn’t say anything, so Hoseok continued.

“You’ve always been so sneaky. Planning everything so that you are always five steps ahead of the person you’re trying to overtake. You’re good at playing the long game and that’s why you always think you’ve won. That you’ll never be beaten.”

“I have yet to be proven wrong.”

“I’m a thinker too. But there are better thinkers at my side. People who retraced months of your steps in the process of doing their research. People who are better at getting into your head than I am.” Hoseok gave a wide gesture to the empty office space around them. “People who knew about your plans for this warehouse days before my arrival.”

For the first time since their conversation began, Changkyun looked perturbed. Hoseok wasn’t in the business of pouring salt into wounds, but he was done playing nice. He was done giving warnings.

He was finishing this today.

Lowering his gaze, he looked at his watch one more time. His smile grew a little bit wider as he locked his eyes with Changkyun’s – relishing in the realization that slowly overtook his face.

“And those same people found out that you had the gas and electric rewired for the building before having it turned on.”

And then the world shook violently beneath their feet from the explosion downstairs.

[saturno-sol]

Merbug Drabble Time! The Escape From Fish Jail.

Putting most of this under a readmore due to warnings of unethical Merbug handling, dismemberment, and violence.

.

“Shit shit shit shit!” The butterfly hissed as he frantically searched for a way out of the facility.  The royal aquarium of Glacier Point wasn’t an aquarium at all, rather it was a front for the underground merbug market, where the unfortunate mers that were caught were either sold alive as pets for the nobles, or as meat for the king of the Rime and his twisted court. 

And right now João was helping a mer escape the chopping block, their serpentine body difficult to grasp as he carried them. He hadn’t meant to save them, but hearing their pained shrieks as one of the butchers severed their tail was enough to spur the butterfly into unlatching the top of their holding tank and carry them out bridal style. It had taken a bit of frantic coaxing but the horned merbug finally allowed him to drag them out. 

He only had a good few minutes before the butcher came back to transport the tank to the king’s dining hall. They’d sound the alarm and the aquarium would go on lockdown, João couldn’t afford to withstand the anger the king would unleash at him if they were found. He just needed to rush out of the loading dock and depending on whether the alarm was triggered or not, he’d take his car and gun it to Dama’s speakeasy. But if the alarm sounded he’d be forced to hijack one of the hunting boats and head to sea. 

João glanced down and sucked in a breath at the sight of the injured mer, one of their eyes had been gouged out, a webbed hand pressing against the still bloodied wound. Their tail was a sad sight as well, where there had once been a beautiful fanned tail was now a hemolymph soaked stump, a steady stream dripping out onto the concrete floor and onto the butterfly himself. Ever since he had carried them out of the tank the mer had been chirping a distress call, and the butterfly had to shake them a bit to quiet them down. 

“Don’t worry, I’m getting you out of here.” João whispered as he peered around the corner to see if anyone was standing post at the loading dock. It was just his luck that the dock was devoid of security and in one short sprint he ran towards the back entrance, bursting out into the frigid air just as the alarm blared out. The mer hunched over, their eyes squeezing shut at the ear piercing sound.

“Damn it!” he cursed, getting to the parking lot would be impossible under lockdown, his eyes roaming the marina the aquarium bordered until he found a small sized hunting boat, built for a crew of 5. That one would have to do, João thought to himself as he rushed over to the pier, the other boats were too large for him to man all by himself. Each hunting boat was equipped with holding tanks for freshly caught mers, and thankfully the tank on this boat was big enough to comfortably hold the injured merbug. 

João gingerly lowered the mer into the tank, noticing how the poor thing barely reacted to being submerged, the gills on the side of their abdomen weakly fluttering open. As soon as he placed them into the tank the butterfly heard the angry shouts and barks of the aquarium’s staff, distant at first, but they’d only get closer as they searched the marina. 

He ran across the deck, ducking down to avoid being seen, and rushed to unknot the tether. Once the knot was undone he ran back towards the standing shelter, flipping on the ignition and wincing at the sound of the engine sputtering to life. Without a second thought João pushed the throttle handle all the way, bracing himself as the boat jerked forward and out of the marina, bobbing along the icy waves of the Glass Sea. He glanced back to see a few of the aquarium staff on the pier, some running towards another boat to give chase. 

He shook his head before facing the bow, his main focus was getting as far away from Glacier Point to safely treat and release the mer currently sleeping in the tank. Judging from the scales and spines on their back they probably belonged in warmer waters, the hunting party that caught them must have either lucked out finding them up here, or the hunters were on specific orders from the King to seek out a tropical mer. 

It made João sick when he had found out how exactly the mers were prepared for Serenitus and his henchmen to eat. The few that got killed immediately were lucky, their bodies turned into fin stews and cooked filets. 

The unlucky ones however, the ones deemed rare and exotic, were bound and sliced into while still alive, tails cut off to be turned into garnishes. He had been forced to watch a previous mer be fileted right on the table by the King himself, and had felt equal parts horror and anger as the screams of the mer died down to pitiful whimpers as they bled out on the gilded platter. 

That was the last straw for João, he had worked there as a marine biologist, making sure the mers being sold as glorified pond fish were healthy. But he hadn’t known about the merbugs that were eaten, it was in his opinion, inhumane, and eating them alive was outright cruel. Even the act of keeping mers as pets was shady to the butterfly, the ones he had studied in the facility seemed to hold intelligence up to par with normal bugs. 

Even the one he helped escape seemed to understand what he would say to them, instead of wildly lashing out they had cautiously allowed him to grab them. João was grateful that the mer hadn’t tried clawing or biting him, otherwise it would have spelled out doom for the both of them. 

As soon as the monarch butterfly felt he had sailed far enough away he turned the ship southward, hopefully it would throw off any of the other hunters. His plan was to sail as far south as he could before the fuel in the engine ran out, which if the fuel indicator meant it was full, wouldn’t be for a good few days if he cut the engine and let the boat drift intermittently. 

He’d have to see how the Mer was doing first, so he left the covered shelter and went down into the cramped cabin of the ship, the tank reaching all the way down to the cabin floor. The merbug had curled up into themself down onto the sand, arms crossed over their eyes. The water was stained a dark blue as their hemolymph mingled with the salt water. 

João slowly approached the tank to not scare the mer, one of his claws gently rapped on the glass, watching how the mer flinched before opening their good eye to gaze at the butterfly. They uncoiled themself and swam closer to the edge of the glass, bumping into it and hissing. João couldn’t help the small snort that escaped his mouth as the mer pressed their head into the glass a few more times before giving up, seemingly offended at the invisible barrier that kept them from reaching the biologist. 

“My name is João,” he started, “I’m gonna try to see if I can patch up your tail and your eye, is that ok?” 

He wasn’t expecting an answer, it was more of a nicety he had a habit of doing, much to the chagrin of the other aquarium staff. But as he rummaged the cabinets and storage spaces for a first aid kit he startled at the muffled taps on the glass. He looked up to see the mer’s mouth crack open, a wicked set of fangs glinting in the artificial light of the cabin. But what startled him even more were the words the merbug spoke next.

“Naaame...Fuuuego,” the words seemed ungainly and odd coming from their mouth, it was obvious that they struggled to form the words. The mer scrunched their face up as their jaws flexed, clicking and hissing as they spoke again, “Joooaoo?” 

He smiled at them, his mind reeling at the fact that not only did the mer show as much sentience as a normal bug, but they were able to speak and communicate somewhat understandably. 

“Yes! Hello there Fuego, it’s nice to meet you,” he replied, “Now let’s see what I can do for those cuts.” 

The butterfly could have chalked up the flex of the mer’s mouth to be just repositioning of their jaws, but João swore that Fuego gave him a smile in return. 

[judefan819-blog]

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[true-halloween-tales]

2018: #4-SHEERLUCK HOMIE’S FINAL BOW

The amazing true adventures of Sheerluck Homie have previously appeared in Pandora’s Box of True Halloween Tales. More than a year ago Sheerluck Homie moved from his apartment to a lakeside home in Chicago (see 2017: #6-NEFARIOUS NEIGHBORS 3). The new neighborhood was mostly safer with an expected reduction of cases for Homie, but in the last year there were a few oddities. Sheerluck was involved in a few necessary cases such as the Adventure of the Crooked Locksmith, the Reoccurence of the Everpresent Taxi Driver, the Identity of the One-Legged Man, and the singular affair of the Destroyed Beach. It was not until late August 2018 when Sheerluck descended into the surreal Mystery of the Blue Ghost Light.

It was a dark and stormy night in Chicago on Friday, August 31, 2018. The conditions off Lake Michigan were dangerous. The weather patterns have become so stormy and dangerous, apparently from global warming, that even recently a pedestrian was pulled into the lake and drowned. Sheerluck closed his windows and watched his plants being blown over on his balcony, despite that they were heavy. The lake could barely be seen in the dark and the storm, but it was heard loudly churning, hitting the coast with powerful five foot waves. Sometimes the waves shook the whole block like an earthquake. It was one of those nights… The wind was so strong that leaving the window open just a crack caused Homie’s cats to become bewitched as objects started blowing all over the place. It was like it was the surface of Saturn out there with a raging alien storm.

Sheerluck Homie daintily devoured a delicious dinner of Indian food, and sat down to watch a horror film since it was Friday night. As he relaxed and reclined, he languidly closed his eyes in the dark room. The time was approximately 8pm. The location was the north side of Chicago on the lakeshore near the city limits. Suddenly, a deep blue light began to fill up the room. Sheerluck scanned the room for some sort of device producing the blue light – but there was none. The ghostly blue light was originating from outside – and emanating in through his windows! Sheerluck surveyed the stormy scene and saw the source of the blue light – a glowing blue orb floating over the lake!

Sheerluck’s attention was locked on this mysterious blue ghost light flying over the lake. He immediately employed his deductive logic method to identity the ghost light. Was it a search and rescue helicopter looking for someone in the stormy, dangerous lake? That is not uncommon... But the winds were enormously powerful, at least thirty miles per hour with some waves reportedly at eight feet. There were multiple warnings about the dangerous weather… Therefore, a helicopter could not fly in that wind… Then the ghost light changed color, from blue to red to white. The ghost light appeared to be moving in circles within a mile of the shore, but visibility was limited. Sheerluck sprang to action, snatched up his trusty binoculars, and tried to zoom in on the strange sight. What he saw offered some curious clues….

The unknown ghost light was indeed traveling in circles. The light did not appear to be attached to anything – or else it was something very small... Sheerluck’s deductive method caused him to return the answer to the mystery verbally like an old computer sputtering out a punched key card. “Drone,” he cooly commented. It had to be someone in Rogers Park, Chicago, flying a small drone over the lake… But they were flying it too low… The waves would surely hit the drone… And the wind was probably too strong to control a drone... The binoculars best focus setting was used to determine the shape of the drone, but Sheerluck gasped when he saw it…. There was no drone!

At this point, Sheerluck was completely invigorated by this mystery, examining all possibilities with such lightning speed that the mere calculation could break a metaphor. It was not a low flying aircraft, not a drone, no discernible object there at all... Just a light… Then Sheerluck recalled his previously chronicled adventures with will-o-wisps and the ghost lights of Marfa, Texas (see 2009: #5-THE TEXAS WILL-O-WISP). Could it be something similar to a will-o-wisp? A living ball of light? But this ghost light over the lake changed colors so regularly it seemed like clockwork, or machinery… Could someone be generating some sort of optical effect with a high powered light or laser? A cursory examination over the area revealed nothing. The wind and rain was heavy and wild, small tree branches were breaking off, trees blowing back and forth in the wind like they would be whisked away to Oz. And yet this ghost light remained…

Sheerluck then carefully traced the trajectory of the ghost light over the lake. It approached, turned away east, moved further into the lake, and then started speeding to the north towards Evanston. Then it circled back clockwise, approaching. It occurred to Sheerluck that this ghost light was flying adjacent to a large cemetery… He was ready to dash outside down the street to see this strange sight up close, but the weather was far too dangerous. Without changing his location, there was little new data he could gather about this peculiar phenomenon. So Sheerluck collapsed on a loveseat keeping his eye on the blue light out the window.

White, red, blue. Sometimes it bobbed up and down like...it was trying to land... on the lake? And then Sheerluck spotted the solution to the mystery, as the blue light approached the closest yet. The light was attached to a thin pole that led to an object that was so near that it was obscured by the building next door. The light was not far out on the lake; that was something of an optical effect. The blue ghost light was much closer, less than one-hundred feet from shore – more like twenty-five feet! Sheerluck’s mind reeled as his eyes followed the thin pole down to its source. The pole the light was on was attached to a boat! It was the light at the top of the mast of the ship! The ship was twenty-five feet off shore heading to crash into multiple buildings on the shore. The boat was heading on a collision to Sheerluck’s new homie!

The boat had to have been manned, and they were desperately trying to head north to Evanston. Every time they tried that, they lost control of their ship like it was getting stuck in a fast clockwise whirlpool. When they attempted to regain control, they were speeding to the shore by the whirlpool. Each time they turned the vessel north for it to be caught in the whirlpool again. The ship may have struck objects like buoys along the coast since it was so close. The crew learned their lesson and stopped trying to head north after thirty-minutes. The ship roughly sailed south along the shore until it was out of sight in the storm.

Since then, Sheerluck has had his trusty binoculars ready at all times to scan the lake for strangeness. In fact, Sheerluck succeeded two weeks ago in photographing the pterodactyl of the area, a massive night heron, nearly a small wyvern (see image below and see 2018: #3-DRAGONS). But no whales, ghost ships, or sharknadoes have been sighted – yet…

[localocksmithnearme]

Hyundai Accent Fob Keys And Remote Program San Antonio TX

Locking yourself out or Losing your vehicle keys at the discount store or driving in a crowded highway may literally be a horrifying situation, and finding an established trained road side assistance that aim to clarify your complications at the earliest as possible 24hr is highly important. As a quality Hyundai Accent lock-smith in San Antonio TX and close by area, San Antonio Key Replacement agents go over the roof twenty four hour 7 day a week 365 days a year assembled with every single software, key programmers and diagnostic equipment needed to rekey, install or replace your car lock, ignition or key on the spot.

Hyundai Accent replacement keys in San Antonio TX

One of the core part of any Hyundai Accent is it's key-lock infrastructure, which should be recovered if blown or lost. When this type of a dispute transpires we, at San Antonio Key Replacement, in San Antonio TX, are fully competent to organize all styles of car ignition, lock or key problems on site.

Hyundai Accent transponder key is especially coded to run an explicit vehicle and our qualified task force can cut and program Hyundai Accent Tibbe, sidewinder, switch blade key or smartkey keys, as well as repair, install or replace any type of locks, ignition and keys on-the-spot non-stop around the clock.

About Hyundai Accent key and lock platform

Hyundai is a Korean vehicle maker of leading cars operates as a Hyundai Motor subsidiary and one of South Korea's greatest auto maker of average motor vehicles all over the world. based in Seoul, penetrated the world in 1946,  Hyundai generally employ similar sort of immobilizer mechanism on majority of of their models since 2007.

On decrepit designs, to make an extraneous key on the dash-board, you should have not less than one programmed operational key, nevertheless to make a supplementary key for latest vehicle, an exclusive diagnostic tools and key programmer is required.

Starting from 2007,  Hyundai models can employ the Proximity Key for it's a push-to-start ignition or key-less entry as a optional or standard instrumentation.

Ignition repair

When the car doesnt turn over, there might be oodles of problems which may be the reason. Since the fuel pump system and car battery are connected to the ignition lock, the problem might be difficult to investigate by an unqualified personal, yet here are a few frequent problems, which driver might have to cope with.

</p> <h5>key will only turn half way in the ignition</h5> <p> If the ignition key is hard to turn in the ignition, it may be due to a couple of reasons: Often this occurs when the steering  is locked by the ignition lock with the car front wheels turned aside (usually when you park on a hill) or if one of the front wheels is pressed with force against something (e.g. sidewalk edge). In this condition, try turning the  steering wheel  right and left altogether with gently wiggling the ignition gripping the key - which might help in releasing the steering wheel.

</p> <h5>Dead car battery</h5> <p> Another common reason why your ignition lock might go bad is a failure of the car battery. A deflated car battery may happens as a result of electronic wiring or alternator failure. If you have no lights on the dash-board console when you turn the key in the ignition, most chances you should call a vehicle mechanic shop.

The ignition switch is one of the most important part of any vehicle and containing manifold tiny detachments that might be difficult to investigate by an unqualified personal, so the best a person may do bumping into ignition cylinder or key issues is to assure you’re in fact attempting to start your own car and call a car key-smith to arrive to your premise to repair, replace  reprogram the ignition or key which will priced as about $150–$350.

Chipped key generate

Car keys, ignition and locks have progressed two decades ago with breakthrough in electric chips and laser cut blades to authorize tasks like mirror adjustment, power windows, automatic door opening and locking, alarm and many more.

Though chipped key is certainly convenient, replacing misplaced keys is no longer a brisk, lowest possible cost drive to the local hardware store or dealership. Incidents such as stolrn transponder key, breaking a flip key remote or losing your proximity key at the beach, on top of cutting a blank key, the key should be compiled to the car by a suitable programming machine done by a locksmith or at the dealer-ship  and will empty your pocket with about 180-600$ base on year, model and maker.

Hyundai Accent keyless device

Hyundai Accent keyless device anable a driver to lock and unlock the door to your car besides lighting up the car yet avoiding utilizing a physical key, and since 2007, many Hyundai Accent vehicles in the market come with some kind of a proximity key system that incorporate a short-range remote transmitter.

With a smart-key, opening the door to your Hyundai Accent is normally attained by sending an RF signal from a transponder in the keyless device to a car engine control module on an enciphered channel when you merely walks within the range of 5 feet of the car with the smartkey on a key ring or in the pocket.

This radio-frequency signal and the Hyundai Accent smartkey instrumentation, furthermore enable pushtostart ignition (also known as Crash starting or Push starting). Using this method a car owner is adept of kindling a motor vehicle engine by clicking a push buttons on the dash-board console as opposed to turning a key in a break.

Copy vs lost car keys

The platform of duplicating a vehicle key differ among different models and year of your Hyundai Accent. For some models, dash-board programming could be utilized to duplicate a chipped key. This process ward off the need for extravagant key programmer and codes when programming a new chipped key to the car. Models who don't support Dash-board key duplication  outline need to have a surplus key coded employing a suitable key programmer that is available solely to a sanctioned locksmith or Hyundai Accent dealer.

This coding machine costs several grands to own which is the reason making an electrical vehicle key is way more expensive to only cut an old-style metal bladed key.

If you misplaced your last car key you’ll need to get your vehicle towed to the dealer or find a car locksmith to come out to your premise to re-program the immobilized computer to accept the new key and deny the old one. This rekey process requisite proof of ownership documents like title, registration or insurance and will costs $185–$250.

24 hours car lockout

If you locked yourself out of vehicle with the keys inside, you found the right website. Our  car popalock ervice can assist you in popping each and every sort of van, truck, semi-trailer or SUV professionally averting harm to door frame, the power locks, windows or electric wiring. Sometimes, in incidents that you wish a key replacement or a key extraction service employing cutters, programmers and diagnostic equipment. Alternatively to towing your car to the vehicle dealer-ship or lock smith store, call us at our call center and our polite local lock-smith agent will come down to you hurriedly to clear up your troubles on premises and put you on your way to your next activity.

Car locks updating

Did you forgot where you put your vehicle key?, acquired a brand new Hyundai Accent ignition and recommend to supplant an older one? or got one of your Hyundai Accent keys taken?, want to certify that no one else glean the proficiency to turn on your car? Good News! You enter the right page, seeing correcting of car locks is one of San Antonio Key Replacement necessary quirk. Our experts can qualify the internal pins in your door or ignition lock, so it would employ the fresh key and disdain the elderly one. Grasp the cell phone and call our customer care office to get your vehicle lock corrected by a proficient locksmith within the least possible amount of time

To sum up

San Antonio Key Replacement virtuoso car lock-smith workers are operational 24 hours a day throughout the week furnished with suitable diagnostic equipment, lock cracking tools and key programmers qualified for all your keys, locks and ignition troubles. Our 24 hrs call centre is ready to help with programming remote, vehicle unlocking, replacing lost keys and more on premises.. If you are gazing for Car key replacement service in San Antonio Texas call (210)598-8120 for a reliable local automotive locksmith, who duplicate and replace trunk, door and ignition keys and remote fob made on the spot.

[globalsource-blog]

The Taiwan Correspondent -Episode II

I’d had enough. It had been too long. Things couldn’t go on like this any longer. I was getting close to breaking point, and pretty soon something would have to give. Thankfully, I’m not talking about my growing craving for some decent bread getting the better of me, although if anyone does feel like shipping me a couple of baguettes and a ciabatta then I promise free hummus for life for you and your children’s children once the Global Source Food Co. is up and running. No, I’m referring to the fact that up until this past weekend, I hadn’t yet spent a night outside of Taipei, despite having travelled around to a few nearby villages and the Yangmingshan national park to the north of the city. As I mentioned in my last post, these first couple of months (spent mostly studying and working as a night receptionist) had been great in terms of getting my Chinese back up to speed, but I’d grown more and more frustrated by having travelled so little round the island. I wanted to get away from the big city life, to see some of Taiwan’s famously beautiful nature and to meet some people less used to 外���人 (waiguoren – foreigners) than the cosmopolitan inhabitants of Taipei, people with whom I could get some proper Chinese conversation without recourse to English. 

After a couple of friends dropped out of a planned trip to Alishan, a mountain area in the centre of Taiwan due to a pretty shocking weather forecast, I made plans to check out the city of台中(Taichung) with a friend who I’d met on the orientation day at NTU, a soft-spoken Dane named Bjarke. I’d immediately taken a liking to him for his dryly understated sense of humour and I’ve since grown to appreciate his collection of three-quarter-length shorts and radical English vocabulary (think ‘stoked’ and ‘steezy’.) We’d talked earlier in the week about making a hammock-and-hitchhike trip down to either Taichung or 台南(Tainan), even if it meant going into ‘survival mode’ (his words). With this in mind I bought a couple of plastic rain covers to keep us dry in our hammocks, and we caught a bus down to Taichung on Friday night with no real plan other than to get out into the country and see where we ended up. It’s worth noting that the bus ride was a delight – as a veteran passenger / victim of the UK’s most reliably unreliable transport service, the Megabus, this trip felt like a ride on a cruise ship, with comfortable, properly reclining seats,  and enough legroom to dance a cancan if necessary.    

When we’d checked into our hostel, we headed out to see what Taichung had to offer on a Friday evening. The neighbourhood we were staying in was pretty much empty of human life, so we decided to get in a taxi and ask where the action might be found. The driver, a husky middle-aged guy whose polo shirt had given up trying to restrain his beer gut, suggested a night market and we gladly took him up on the offer. As we drove across town, I asked what he considered the highlights of the city, fishing for something worth doing the next day before heading out into the villages. His response was to ask me whether I liked strippers or dancing – I’m still not sure if this says more about his thoughts on Taichung or foreigners. Anyway, when we got to the market I was feeling happy with having held a conversation in Mandarin for a good fifteen minutes, even if the subject matter had been the relative merits of all-you-can-drink bars and those where you buy drinks separately (apparently the latter have more beautiful girls).  

When we’d made the rounds of the market, (I’ll be talking in detail all about Taiwan’s night markets in an upcoming post) we headed down a side street to get some less greasy food than the various deep-fried wares on offer between stalls selling screen protectors and bubble tea. The road was lined with small restaurants whose customers mostly sat outside on plastic stools, laughing and drinking beer. I hadn’t seen much of this kind of night-time atmosphere in Taipei; it reminded me of China, where for ordinary people socialising is something which takes place in the street, not in bars and clubs. As we sat down to eat, we were invited to join a table in front of a fruit stall, by a burly guy with a broad smile who turned out to be the stall’s owner. He insisted on treating us to fresh guava and papaya, as well as beer – he was delighted that I was able to keep up with his rate of drinking, a skill upon which he clearly prided himself. Speaking of pride, he and his friends were eager to talk about their love for Taiwan – we got onto the topic through discussing the merits of Taiwan Beer (the imaginative name for the island’s only major brand), and when they found out I’d lived in China they couldn’t wait to list the reasons why Taiwan was the place to be. I must admit, I could have been more vocal in disputing Taiwan’s absolute superiority, but thought coming to China’s defence would likely achieve little, besides sabotaging my new source of free beer. Anyway, as is often the case, I found that the alcohol greased the moving parts of my brain’s language centre, and before I knew it I had spent a good hour conversing and cracking jokes with the fruit seller and his boys. Unfortunately, Bjarke is a geography student and as such only started learning Chinese when he came to Taiwan a few months ago. As he was clearly getting a little bored of smiling and nodding at a conversation he didn’t understand, and as we wanted to make the most of the next couple of days, we said our goodbyes and headed back to the hostel.

After a night spent in the hostel’s stairwell, the only refuge from the incredibly loud and consistent snoring of an overweight roommate (sadly, such is the reality of staying in dorms), we headed out to start the day. Unable to sleep, I’d quickly looked up some attractions in Taichung and settled on the Rainbow Village, a quirky art attraction in the west of the city. It consists of a small group of low concrete houses built to accommodate Kuomintang soldiers after they retreated to Taiwan from China (I’m not going to cover the history of the Chinese civil war here, if you want to find out more head to Wikipedia), and which were already gradually being demolished when an elderly resident, Mr Huang, started to paint every available wall with simplistic images of people, animals and characters from legends, all in bright, childlike colours. The painted village eventually became noticed by students from a nearby university, and is now a popular tourist site. This was evident when we arrived to the sight of several tour buses parked up outside, as crowds of visitors milled around photographing every square inch of brightly decorated concrete. The paintings themselves are charming and the overall ambience of the village is pretty beautiful, although the thronging tour groups jostling for selfie spots cheapens the experience a little. Seemingly embracing the commercialisation of his creation, the nonagenarian Mr Huang himself was present at the gift shop, perched on a stool in his sunglasses and paying absolutely no attention to anyone, while a pair of (presumably) relatives sold postcards, fridge magnets and various other Rainbow Village merchandise to a steady stream of customers.

We left the Rainbow Village after not too long and headed to Fengyuan, a suburb to the north of Taichung where we’d decided to rent bikes and head out into the hills to the east of the city. We arrived just after midday, and soon found a place offering a range of bikes for around NT$200 per day – about £5. We booked a pair of mountain bikes for a couple of days, leaving my ID card as collateral, and were soon on our way along the Houli bike trail. As it turned out, this trail was hugely popular, and as Bjarke put it, this meant it was basically a “bicycle highway”, with heavy traffic in both directions. We were comfortably the quickest on the trail, including the many people who’d rented electric bikes, but overtaking was pretty sketchy since there were oncoming bikes most of the time as well. We ended up leaving the trail soon after stopping at a winery, where we tried a couple of local wines which left a lot to be desired – the kind of stuff you might keep in reserve in case someone you really disliked came round for dinner. Once we were able to make our own way, the ride became much more enjoyable. The scenery became more rugged and lush with each corner we turned, and we soon became very aware of the fact that Taiwan’s mountainous terrain means that outside the cities, the landscape quickly gets steep. A long, winding climb, which I made with my eyes fixed on the yellow tiled roof of a temple on a distant hillside, brought us to the top of a ridge from which we could see over the river which we’d passed over on a bridge while still on the bike trail.

Pausing to admire the view, we then descended down an equally winding road, passing by small farms with groves of orange trees. A couple of weeks before, I would have thought they were lime trees – the Taiwanese orange has mostly green skin, something I only discovered when the owner of my local vegetarian restaurant gave me one as a gift. As the afternoon went on, and we followed the path of the river to the south-east, we saw more and more fruit being grown - oranges, grapes, bananas, what I’m pretty sure was dragon fruit and a whole range of other produce which I wouldn’t begin to know the names of. Taiwan produces a huge range of fruit, which means it’s readily available, and cheaply – being able to eat passion fruit for breakfast nearly every day is one of the better reasons I can think of for getting out of bed. At one point we ended up accidentally cycling right through an orange farm, following a path which at points was just a strip of concrete on the edge of an irrigation ditch, which was a lot of fun besides being harassed briefly by a trio of angry (and understandably surprised) dogs.      

 After several hours riding through villages and past fruit farms, the light was beginning to fade on the damp hillsides. It had been lightly raining on and off for most of the afternoon, and as we started to think about finding a place to spend the night we rounded a corner and were faced with a beautiful and ghostly scene: an old cemetery, overgrown in places, whose tombs were shrouded with mist while in the distance, a ridge of high mountains stood in obscure shadow against the sky. Cloud swirled in the valley below. From the hill on which we stood, it seemed as though we were on a graveyard island in an ocean of white and grey; as clouds churned around the hills, bursts of wind and rain stirred the air. We stood watching the shifting mist, transfixed… this sight was truly breath taking to behold. Needless to say, my phone camera did not come close to capturing the scene. It was several minutes before we picked up our bikes and moved on. As we came to the top of another climb which wound up and to the right, we settled on a wooded hillside in the distance for a place to make camp for the night, far enough from the houses at the foot of the slope that nobody would notice a couple of hammocks among the trees. We had instant noodles and a small gas cooker, we just needed to refill our water bottles and we’d be all set to settle down as darkness fell.

We went to ask for water at a farmhouse, and struck up a conversation with a man and woman who were standing in the open lobby at the front of the house. They invited us to drink some tea and offered some dried fruit, and we happily accepted. They noticed the signs on our rental bikes and asked if we’d come all the way from Fengyuan, nodding and saying “lihai!” (which means something in between excellent and good job) when I answered that we had. The tea was a strong but not unpleasant herbal brew; I asked what it was made of and the smiling lady said proudly that it was a plant which they grew right there on the farm – she offered to show us, and since this kind of offer doesn’t come around every day, we followed her out of the gate and across the road into a huge darkened shed. What was inside was truly impressive; hundreds of shelves of earth covered in all sorts of weird-looking growths of different sizes and shapes. The farm’s owner was inside the shed and our new friend introduced us – I found myself getting along well with our host, introducing myself and Bjarke, and talking for several minutes about what we were doing in Taiwan, where we were from and even a light-hearted discussion of Brexit. We went back to the farmhouse, and after more tea and meeting several members of the family, the boss, whose name was Mr Wu, invited us to stay for dinner. I explained that we needed to find a place to set up our hammocks before it got dark, miming two trees and something slung between them (I’ve since learned the word is diaochuang), and at once several of the family pointed to the trees to the side of the farmhouse.  

The hospitality of the Wu family was incredible. Given the choice between a night spent having dinner and getting to know this kind family of Buddhist farmers, or eating instant noodles by ourselves in the rain, my heart was firmly set on the former option. Bjarke reluctantly agreed, although I could tell he was a bit put out not to be going full ‘survival mode’. We set up the hammocks with the rain covers in the yard, and were soon eating dinner on the patio with Mr Wu while the rest of the family ate upstairs. Since the family was Buddhist, we ate a vegetable stew with fried rice – simple, tasty food. As directed by our host, we ate several portions each, as I talked with Mr Wu and translated for Bjarke, and in order to show our thanks for their generosity, I insisted that Mrs Wu let us do the dishes. After dinner the whole family congregated in an outbuilding which was comfortably decked out with sofas and chairs to watch a documentary about camels in western china. Several family members said that we should sleep in this room; nobody stayed in the building at night and we’d be sure to stay dry. However, this was not what we’d planned, and they had already been kind enough. We were both tired from our early start and the day’s cycling and we soon started to drift off, and went to our hammocks smiling with full stomachs.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll end this post here. Suffice it to say it rained heavily all night, and by 4am we were both getting a bit too wet for comfort despite the rain covers, so we quickly headed in to the outhouse for a few hours more rest, before having breakfast with the family (there was seemingly no end to the kindness they were willing to offer a pair of strangers). We then set out on the bikes, in better weather, through the lush mountain landscape, finally arriving back in Taichung in the late afternoon, where we eventually caught a train back to Taipei for a much needed shower and good night’s sleep.                  

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

27th November 2017

Our alarm went off at 0700. We planned to get up, have breakfast and leave by 0730. We laid in bed until around 0715 and then the mad rush began... We got dressed, brushed our teeth and packed the van up as fast as we could. We checked out, got our deposit back and drove the 3 minutes to the marina. We parked in the South side part (the only car park) and walked 5 minutes to the North side.  It took us about 10 minutes to find out where the North side was though. There were hardly any signs or people around to help. We went further South thinking it was North...

We got caught up in a traffic jam of people getting off a cruise ship. We were almost forced to have our photo taken but after a few attempts of saying “We're not with the cruise!”, they finally got the jist.

We walked around all the tours trying to find ours. I spotted a blonde girl with a top on which seemed to say something with an S. That was better than nothing so far. I walked over and the top said 'Summertime'. Wahoo. We're not being left behind!

Steve and I introduced ourselves and handed our forms in. We were the only ones who were capable of signing them properly apparently, so she was helping everyone re-do theirs. She finally introduced herself as 'Georgia', from Leicester, England. She seemed to be around my age so I was certain we would get along fine.

Our boat was a small-ish one, our group was 16 including us both, excluding Captain Jack (Aussie) and Deckhand Georgia. 

Our group consisted of a family of three from England – Mum, Dad and Son. Dan (son) was in his late 20's who completed his year visa to Oz 7 years ago. He's here again showing Mum and Dad his favourite parts. I think they were from Bolton (they had funny accents, ignoring words like 'the'). Mum and Dad don't live in England any more though, they moved to Portugal and do a B&B thing. Dan still lives in England.

An Irish couple, 28 & 29 years old. Engaged to be married next May, on a 3 week holiday to Australia. We got on the best with these two – stuck with them basically the whole time! A lone traveller, early 20's from the Netherlands. We had to share a 'room' with Hannah, she was alright.  

2 French girls. They were absolutely lovely even though we didn't really talk much to them. Very easy going, always went last for everything including getting food. Generally really happy, nice people.

3 German couples – all female friends, all in pairs and neither of them knew each other. All backpackers who ended up being the best of friends and some of the worst people to be a on 2 day 1 night boat trip with. Unfortunately, they booked Summertime for the same reason as us. It has a reputation of 'no backpackers' and all the backpackers picked it! They were just very young and very hyper. A particularly annoying girl was called Lisa. She had to have the attention all the time. She's a vegetarian so had different meals and what not. She asked several times for soy milk but she never told them beforehand about not being able to drink normal milk, so they never managed to get some in. She made a massive fuss about not being able to drink tea or coffee black because it gives her a bad stomach (she has black tea after about 3 hours).

So, we all boarded the vessel, sat down and went through all the safety bits and bobs, itinerary and everything else that needed to be said. We weren't allowed to bring our own bags onto this trip, they provided us all with a tote bag to use. This is because of bed bugs. We weren't allowed to bring shampoo or conditioner either because apparently that ruins the reef. No red wine due to it staining either. Other than that, we were all good to go. Steve and I had 5 cans of apple cider each which I doubt will even get used but better to be prepared.

The boat was a medium sized boat, fairly old (70 years old I think) and was quite limited to space. There were benches either side which everyone sat on. Downstairs were where our rooms were and it was pretty much an open area. Bunks all around the outside with a main table in the middle and the two toilets. Steve and I shared a double top bunk and there was a single below us for Hannah. There was a little door/curtain to close it off but there were gaps in the top and bottom so lights and sounds would still get through. The same for everyone. When I say double bunk, it was slightly bigger than a single bunk. I’d describe it as a single bunk for someone with a large rear end, perfect for me! 

We were told we could only have a 60 second shower as there's limited water on a boat and should it run out, the trip gets cancelled and back to Abell Point Marina we go. Pretty straight forward and understanding.

We set off for what ended up being a 4 hour journey to the Whitsunday Islands. We had tea and coffee with biscuits to start with which was great as Steve and I were starving. I was able to take my seasickness tablets too as I was advised the boat was fairly wobbly. I was dreading it but so far so good, no paper bags at the ready.

We had an early lunch around 1200. Lunch was a roll with ham/beef/cheese and salad. It was fairly boring and there wasn't enough for everyone to have a second. They did bring out wraps which helped so that was better than nothing.

We arrived at Tongue Point, Whitsunday Islands around 1200. We had to leave the main boat and get into a tender to the shore. Steve and I went in the first 8 and waited on the beach for the rest. We had a short 5-10 minute hike up to the main lookout. The walk was easy, it was just absolutely boiling hot. I hadn't realised that Steve and I (mainly I) had got very burnt on the boat on the way out here. I was bright red and everyone was mentioning it to me. I was caked in sun cream, I was leaving it on thick so I looked like a right tit as it was.

There were loads of different tour groups around. You had to make sure you kept an eye on your deckhand otherwise you could easily get mixed up. We finally reached the top of the lookout point and the view was incredible. It actually seemed unreal... You see these sort of views used as photo shop backgrounds. When people stood there for a photo in front of the view, it looked like they had a different background and they were cut out!

It was a bright blue/turquoise ocean with swirls of sand islands going through it. I will never, ever forget the view. I believe it's rated as the worlds second most beautiful/amazing beach.

There were a lot of people at the lookout. It was a one-way system so once you moved on, you were done. Our group were finished after about 15 minutes looking out. We did the walk back down and then we were able to go onto the beach!

The walk to the beach only took 5 minutes. The sand was a fine white sand, soft and squeaky. Exactly like Maya Bay in Thailand. The sand went on for miles and the water was clear as anything. We had an hour and 15 minutes to play with so Steve and I put our wet suits on and went straight into the water. I was still really quite burnt so my wet suit stayed on for that as well as the marine stingers.

The water was lovely but didn't go further than your thighs. No matter how much you walked out, it stayed at the same level. We quickly realised that we shared the water with hundreds of stingrays. You saw big, dark, round circles sitting still until you got close, then they disappeared quickly. Some stayed very still which is how we realised what they were. I filmed some on the GoPro.

We stayed in the water for a while before getting out to do photos. We took photos by a big white log which is allegedly famous. Steve assisted the girls in a pyramid by being at the bottom with Bryan (the male part of the Irish couple).

We all met up at our meeting point at 1515. That meant it was time to leave Whitehaven Beach. What an incredible spot. A memory of a lifetime that. We all got into the tender and back on the boat, starving I may add! We had snacks being cooked for us, tea, coffee and cookies were there already. The German backpackers were kind of like vultures, flies around sh*t, you get my gist.

Steve went and showered so I went downstairs to do the same. The waves were coming in thick and fast so I ended up panicking about being sick and running upstairs. I panicked so much that I smashed my head on the hatch and slipping over into the small rail. Luckily, I didn't go overboard although I was about 1cm off. Everyone ran over to me and made sure I was ok and that I wasn't going to still end up in the water. I was fine, just panicked. I decided against a shower, for now.

We all sat on the boat chilling, listening to music before we left. Our snacks were mini sausage rolls, spring rolls and mini pies. Steve and I loved the mini pies! We ended up setting sail off to the spot for sunset and sleep. The sunset was absolutely beautiful. I took some good photos.

We anchored up in still water, luckily. I thought about going to shower loads of times but couldn't bring myself to go downstairs. I got up and forced myself down whilst the water was calm. I panicked straight away for no reason at all. I have 'muscle memory' in my mind but I'm not sure if that's correct. My body remembers things from before and automatically panics regardless of whether I need too. I'm weird though.

I showered and got dressed fast. That wasn't just because of the '60 second shower rule' either. I still felt mank though, my hair had been in the sea and I couldn't wash or condition it. Bleh. Hopefully I won't have too many dreadlocks tomorrow.

I went upstairs and waited for dinner, like everyone else. Steve and I started chatting to Dan about his first year. He worked on a cotton farm! Stuff that for a laugh! We got talking more and more to Bryan and his Mrs too. Steve, Bryan and Dan cracked open their beers and I waited for dinner first. We had only a roll plus small snacks today so having a beer wasn't going to help, I'm a lightweight as it is.

We did wait for hours for dinner mind you. It was dished up around 2000. We had BBQ chicken, mushroom pasta bake (I picked out every single mushroom), Greek salad and garlic bread. I didn't really like the chicken as the skin/fat was still left on it. I gave mine to Steve. The pasta bake was mostly mushrooms. The Greek salad was nice (we picked out the olives) and the garlic bread was the best part. I had 2 bits! Steve had seconds but as I said, I'm so picky so I don't get very far with trips that provide food.

We continued chilling out and Steve seemed to be getting through our beers quite fast, keeping up with Bryan. Around 2100, we went downstairs and sat around the table with dessert. Chocolate cheesecake. I definitely had some of that whereas Steve didn't!

We all went through the photos from the day and went through tomorrow's itinerary. We had to be up for breakfast at 0630!! I'm going to need a good holiday after these 4 weeks of holiday! Pfft.

I got myself into bed afterwards. It was 2130 and I was knackered. The sea and sun take it out of you, although I really don't need any excuse for going to bed. That's my happy place, I'm there 90% of my day! Steve stayed up with the Irish couple and played Uno. They were all drunk.

I didn't get to sleep. The noise of everyone playing and drinking kept me up, as well as the lights. It was going to be a long night... 

Steve came in after about an hour. He said he felt 7/10 drunk but ask him now and he says that he's fine!

We fell asleep straight away but we were woken up at 2330 by Hannah.

Hannah must've had a nightmare because she was screaming 'HELP ME HELP ME'. Automatically, I got up straight away to help her. When she finally woke up out of it, she said she was fine. I heard Dan wake up next door and asked if everything was ok. I told him she was fine and that it was a bad dream. Hannah said she dreamt that the walls were coming in on her and she was about to drown. You can't blame her, anyone who's claustrophobic would struggle being where we were. Tiny little rooms and beds that didn't fit a pillow down flat. We were under water and heard the splashing next to us. It was weird. Steve and I said that's enough for boat trips.

[mysterylover123]

Top 5 Shipping Moments of 2008

Year number two: Let’s dive into the shippers’ moments that colored the year of The Dark Knight, a presidential election, a tanked economy, and apple bottom jeans + boots with the fur. 

#5. SHELDON HUGS PENNY

The Big Bang Theory’s Shenny was mostly popular in it’s early seasons, as later seasons introduced new pairings. One of the best Shenny moments was in this Season 2 Christmas episode, ‘The Bath Gift Item Hypothesis.” Sheldon Cooper (at least back then) was socially awkward, disinterested in romance, and bad at expressing affection. In this episode,  however, he shows off his capacity to at lease express some affection when Penny gives him a napkin signed by (and wiped by) Leonard Nimoy as a Christmas present. This pretty famous moment is a lot of fun for Shenny shippers, since there’s something so sweet about the usually caustic Sheldon being given the perfect gift by the disinterested-in-geek-culture Penny. Like taking two extremes of fire and ice and somehow getting something just right in the middle.

#4 “THESE TWO BRAVE LOVERS” 

Another South Park Kyman moment for me, in the episode where Cartman gives Kyle AIDS, and everyone believes they’re a gay couple because it really sounds that way in context. Yeah, Kyman is a dark ship. We all have one. So what actually happens is: Cartman finds out he has AIDS, and since Cartman is a sociopathic monster who has wrecked countless havoc on the lives of others, Kyle can’t help but laugh. This incenses Cartman, who infects Kyle with the virus (shippy moment: he admits that he sneaks into Kyle’s room all the time), and thus the two have to work together to find the cure (which of course they do). Incredibly, Cartman can’t understand why Kyle is so mad at him, and even tries holding his hand. And then we get them being mistaken for gay all over the place by everyone. Since how else would they both have AIDS? (Yeah, this one’s dark and offensive. What else would you expect from South Park?)

#3. IRON MAN CREATES THE MCU AND TONY/PEPPER

While Tony/Pepper isn’t my OTP, there’s no denying RDJ and Gwyneth Paltrow’s chemistry, especially in this, the first installment of the sprawling Marvel Cinematic Universe. The first of many shipping moments to come: The dance scene. The MCU in general has mostly spawned legions of slashfics, hero/villain pair-ups, and general love for the non-canon. However, there is still one canon pair that people tend to enjoy, both critics and shipping fans alike, and that is Pepperony. I can easily rank this scene as a very well-done romantic moment, in a movie full of action and character development. Take not, big-budget chaotic action films the world over: your caustic hero’s eyes lighting up when he sees his beleaguered assistant in the dress he picked out for her, leading her to the  dance floor while piano plays? That’s how it’s done.

#2. KATAANG HAPPENS IN ATLA’S FINALE

And the ATLA shipping wars were definitively shut down (for the moment, anyway) with this grand finale, where Kataang and Maiko reigned supreme with two awesome kisses and sweeping music. Although the finale also has plenty for Zukaang and Zutara shippers too…really, just a shipFest all around. Basically, Avatar has become the legendary fighting ground to which you can point out all aspects of shipwars for the newcomer: fan preferred pairing, slash pairing, ship wars, crack pairings, etc. However, who would end up with whom was up in the air until the series finale, and the huge wait between episodes meant that shippers were going at each other, left and right, night and day, with reasons why their ship was the one meant to be. And then the finale ended on a big damn kiss between Aang and Katara. Good? Bad? You make your own call.

#1. BARNEY LOVES ROBIN

The moment all Swarkles fans were waiting for. First: the hookup in Sandcastles in the Sand. Second: the end of “Miracles”, the Season 3 finale. Third: The premier of Season 4, where Barney outright tells Lily he’s in love with Robin. Be still our shipping hearts, the HIMYM OTP FINALLY happened. For context: although the first three seasons of How I Met Your Mother mostly focused on Robin’s doomed to fail romance with Ted, with Banrey as the whackiest of the three whacky sidekicks, season 1′s episode Zip Zip Zip launched the ship that came to be known as Swarkles, after Robin’s teen pop star name Robin Sparkles and Barney’s one-time nickname Swarley. But the chemistry wasn’t explored until the end of Season 3, and was kept as unresolved all the way through Season 4. Still, 2008 was the year that it happened, and it was about damn time. 

[megacircuit9universe]

Time Travel Basics: PT2

So, to recap the previous entry, to build a time distortion unit, you need a particle accelerator, such as the LHC to create micro-singuarities (tiny black holes).  The same facility would then capture them, magnetically, and keep them alive by feeding them enough electrons to offset the hawking radiation that would cause them to evaporate in the wild.

With the ability to produce micro-singularities for industrial use (very likely only military use, as they would not only be quite expensive to produce, but also the kind of tech a government would want to keep top secret) you simply put two of them into a housing with cathode manifolds (three way electron guns like in any 20th century color TV set) and a modestly advanced computer to control them (about as advanced as, say... a 2000s lap top).

Using the electron manifolds to manipulate the spin and frame drag of the two singularities, the unit creates two nested bubbles of spacetime, a few meters in diameter, around the unit... with positive time in the interior bubble, but negative time in the exterior bubble... moving the interior bubble backward in time... relative to the universe outside the two bubbles.

With the help of gravity sensors, to keep a lock on the Earth... because gravity can move between membranes of spacetime, the system would also be able to manipulate the distortion unit’s position in space... to stay with the Earth as moves backward through time, and thus, backward through Earth’s rotation, and it’s orbits around the sun.

lastly, this same system would be able to move the unit (and everything inside the bubbles) forward in time, just as easily as backward... simply by changing the spin of the outer bubble to a positive time spin.

Okay, so... 

Here you must clearly understand that while the distortion unit is running... while those nested bubbles of frame-dragged spacetime exist around it... the unit and everything inside the bubbles ARE their own universe... and are divorced from our universe... or more specifically... our worldline, or timeline.

I’m gonna use the term, timeline, because it’s the one that has the most currency in pop culture.

So, for example, if you’re in a mall parking lot late at night, with your car parked out in a remote parking space, with your plutonium-battery powered time distortion unit sitting in the passenger seat... when you flip it on and begin moving back in time... from the perspective of an observer in the parking lot... the car will simply disappear.

Even though your car will be locked to the GPS position of that parking space as it moves backward in time, it will not be sitting in that parking space anymore.  From your perspective, all will be black out the windows.

At this point, while moving backward in time, you are not affecting the main timeline in any way... other than the nearly imperceptible gravity that your car will exert on the parking lot... on the other side of the spacetime membranes.

However... the second you spin down those singularities, and re-materialize in that parking space... say, 30 years earlier... you immediately create a branch timeline.

No car materialized in that parking space 30 years ago, which means that when yours does... it starts off a different branch of history.

Which means that whatever you do in that branch timeline will not affect the main timeline from which you left. 

So, going to the past to right what went wrong is not possible... well... I mean it’s possible, but it won’t affect your home timeline. So... if you’re a government, your military time travel unit is useless in helping you win that war you lost, or stop the idiot who started the war from being elected.

But it is useful for retrieving lost tech, lost footage, for learning about the past... that kind of stuff... because whatever you can grab, be it a physical object, or some video recordings, that you can fit in your car... you can take back to the future with you.

More on that some other day, but for now, we need to focus on the limitations of this kind of time travel.

For one thing, there really is no one “main” timeline. In nature, that timeline is always branching off into new ones every second, creating a kind of haystack of realities out there in the hyperverse.

Meanwhile, your time distortion unit is only so accurate.

The computer has only so much processing power, the manifolds are only so good at manipulating your singularities, the gravity sensors are only so sensitive, and your power source only has so much juice.

Also... it has to be portable. It needs to be under 100 pounds to be practical, as you may need to move it from one vehicle or boat to another in your travels in the past.

Speed, however, is also important... and here I mean, speed of time travel. How many years of history can you cover per hour, whether traveling forward or backward in time?

You can only hang out inside the pocket universe of your two nested bubbles for so many hours, as determined by how much oxygen, food, and water you can carry in the car... and you probably need enough oxygen for a return trip, as there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to refill those oxygen tanks in the past without raising suspicion.... which could lead to your arrest or detainment.

So, it turns out that the best compromise, for an 80 pound distortion unit, with reliable instruments, heavy duty enough to handle some abuse, and backward compatible enough to be repairable in the past... can cruise at about ten years per hour.

That cruising speed, of ten years per hour is the best compromise between speed, and navigation... which here means, navigation though that haystack of naturally branching timelines out in the hyperverse, through which your bubble is moving.

You could push your distortion unit to do 15 years per hour... but you would risk going off course, and materializing in a past that’s a little different from the one you were aiming for.

Instead of pushing it faster, you could set the cruise control at 10 years per hour and just hunker down for an epic 24 hour trip... sleeping a lot... starving yourself... whatever.  But in that case, the sheer length of the hop would put you at risk of drifting far off course... winding up at a date 240 years earlier, that bears no resemblance to the same date in your personal history book... with untold dangers awaiting you in that... forest inhabited by bow and arrow sword people who do not understand your language sounds and know that you are a demon.

You could go slow... say 5 years per hour... and make really short hops. Stopping frequently on your way back in time to ensure you stayed on course... but that makes the return trip exceedingly complicated.

Returning to the future requires jumping a little bit to the past of your original entry point, and then following forward as accurately as possible to get you to a future that is, hopefully, indistinguishable from the one you left.

If you do multi hops back to the past, creating new branch lines at every step, then you need to retrace that path backward which... puts a lot of stress on your navigation computer, and could lead to you never finding your way home.

So, a good, by the book time traveler, will keep it to ten years per hour, and keep that trip to around five hours... with seven really pushing it.

Still, whether you’re flying by the book, or by the seat of your pants, every time traveler needs to be able to establish their “divergence,” upon landing.

Centuries ago, seafaring sailors faced a similar problem...

While exploring the oceans of the spherical planet, getting their latitude (or their north/south position on the globe) was easy... just look at Polaris... the pole star. It’s position over the horizon told you your latitude.  

Higher up in the sky?  You were further north.  Down near the horizon?  you were near the equator.

Longitude, however... or the east west position... was a hell of a lot harder to crack... and was not cracked until clocks were finally developed that could keep accurate time on a bobbing ship in a salty atmosphere with drastic changes in temperature.

For time travelers, the date is their latitude.  Figuring out the date is easy.  Plug a date into the computer.  Follow back to that date... and after landing... verify that date by looking at the stars, grabbing a newspaper, or asking a local.  Very hard to screw up the date.

But their longitude is the thing they call, “divergence,” which refers to how much the timeline they’ve landed on is “diverged” from the one they were aiming for... in other words... how different is this past from the known past?

The only way to establish divergence... to any practical degree... is to compare recordings, from the date in question, with the real time transmissions coming from those same sources now... on that same date you’ve traveled back to.

So, let’s say before you left, you brought with you a two hour recording of a local TV channel, recorded on, or before your target date.  Then, after landing, you have your computer tune into that local TV station, and compare the live transmissions to the recording.

The differences in the two, will give you an idea of your divergence.

Number stations come to mind... having popped up after world war two, with mysterious wide band broadcasts at random times with seemingly random content... mostly sequences of numbers being announced, but also occasional music... but it’s not clear how many recordings have ever been made of such transmission, let alone dated and timestamped accurately.

Maybe the governments behind the number stations all have reliable, timestamped recordings... for the sole purpose of handing down to future time travelers within their ranks.  

If so... then daring time pilots going back that far... to the start of the cold war, would have little else to establish their divergence... outside of print media, which just isn’t as useful when it comes to fine tuning divergence.

However, as you get into more of our modern era of the internet... you have resources like YouTube!  A time traveler from decades in our future could probably have endless hours of youtube videos, all dated and timestamped from the past to have his computer compare with actual youtube on his landing date to get an extremely fine tuned level of divergence.

Weird Youtube channels like Webdriver Torso come to mind for that purpose... being completely randomized at the time of creation... but then forever set into stone once uploaded.

Any time traveler with a backlog of Webdriver Torso videos from his home line would be able to have his computer compare them to the same uploads at his landing date and calculate even extremely tiny levels of divergence.

And knowing your divergence to the best precision is key... given that after you’ve landed, you can afford to make one short, perfectly calculated hop to a much more desirable timeline... without making your return trip too complicated.

What this all means is that even the most seat of the pants, rogue time travelers... who want to make a return trip home some day... don’t dare go any further back than the end of WW2, where there was some prayer of being able to repair a failing distortion unit.

Pushing your unit to the limit, you might limp it all the way back to the 1920s, but it would be a very divergent 1920s, and you’d be stranded there.

At any rate, this gives us a kind of bell curve for time traveler traffic, with the extreme outliers being in the late 40s, early 50s... and sloping upward through the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and then a big spike through the early 21st century, with more visiting the twenty-teens than any other decade before it...

...because the twenty teens just have a far more sophisticated internet than even the 2000s... with smart phones and GPS and AI, and all the rest.

So, from our perspective... what does it mean to have higher time traveler traffic than in any other decade previous?

Well, for one thing, statistically, it means that this timeline we’re living on... is NOT the main trunk that traces back to the early 20th century.  

We are on a branch, of a branch, of a branch, of a branch.... created by the landings of so many different distortion units throughout our past, with each individual time traveler knowing we were just a branch, and not super caring a lot what they did to fuck with this branch during their stay.

And they are also coming in to our line from... far divergent trunk lines... some of them getting here and realizing, “Oh shit!  This is waay off from where I wanted to go!”

So we are being forced off that main trunk further and further into the weird haystack of the hyperverse, while simultaneously attracting more and more divergent time travelers from even further out... 

...but with everybody mingling and sharing their weird ideas from other times and other timelines, here on our internet, and in person... just as would happen in any teeming port city.

And yes, in this case, the upshot is definitely exactly the phenomenon we all agree is the signature feature of the twenty teens... namely that we seem to have collectively shifted into some alternate dimension of twilight zone craziness, where both the headlines and the tech of the day, are insane departures from the world as it was ever supposed to be.

And there’s really nothing we can do but just adapt to it.

No one time traveler is to blame, and nothing, not even a time distortion unit, can unscramble this egg.  

Ultimately, this is just the natural outcome of a species like ours hitting a certain point in it’s technological maturity. 

We’re gonna have all kinds of time travelers... just as we’re gonna have all kinds of AI, of varying degrees of intelligence... and we’re gonna have aliens snooping around too.

Okay... hopefully you now understand the basics of time travel, and what it meas for the modern day.

Time for me to go to bed.

[jumbledemootion]

Top 7 Kyle Broflovski moments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE

I’m not kidding when I say I spent a year on this list. The first list I created was for Cartman (July 1st) so I knew I had pretty much a year to think about Kyle’s. Plenty of time, right? Pft. How can I pick just seven moments for a character I love so much? I mean there’s one scene in Cartman Sucks when Kyle just goes “ugh,” and walks away that I love like crazy. Is it enough to be considered a favorite moment? Ah! I didn’t know. I also felt obligated to pick a Kyle and Ike moment, a Kyle and Stan moment, a Kyle and Cartman moment, and Kyle and Kenny moment. In addition, how can not include a famous Kyle speech. But ultimately I went with moments that I love and didn't feel obligated to pick. I will eventually be doing a list for Kyle speeches and individual friendship Kyle moments. 

I believe I went through ten rounds with this list, constantly eliminating and adding. I even had to bring in friends to help listen to my thought process and offer advice. I can’t emphasize this list was hard and I know my top 7 will probably not match with many of you Kyle Broflovski fans out there.

7. “Yeah it was like 4 days ago.”

It is such a small moment but every time I lose it. It happens at the end of Child Abduction Isn’t Funny when the parents are all shocked their kids have become Mongolians. Clyde’s dad, Richard says “kids you use to live here with us,” and Kyle in his often frustrated self, huffily retorts back “yeah it was like four day ago.” I think because it’s an example of Kyle’s hotheadedness or maybe that he doesn’t give a fuck that he’s calling out the stupidity in someone else’s parent. Either way I always laugh. 

6. Kyle farting

Second episode of the whole series, Stan is upset is Uncle Jimbo is bonding more with Kenny. How does his best friend comfort him? By farting. I laugh every time. I’m so mature.

5. “Then it cancels out the gay polarity” 

Kyle just being a little shit and fucking with Cartman.  I like this scene because of how matter of fact Kyle is able to play the line and ends with him going “idiot”. Simple scene but I love it.

4. Kyle trying to protect his family 

For all the hate season 20 got I could probably make a top 7 Kyle moments just based on this season alone. I had Danish Kyle on this list originally but eventually decided to pick this story line over a moment that made me squee. Starting from when Kyle runs off with Ike all the way until the last frame of the finale, Kyle, and I have to include Ike, just kicked ass.

3. History Channel Thanksgiving

I’ve mentioned before on in another list, this is my favorite episode. One of the reasons is Kyle alone. The whole Kyle of DeVry Institute, I crack up every time. His sarcastic, angry remarks are praised as genius. . Also, him taking Natalie Portman on a date and his trademark “ugh” when asking her to open up her wormhole and she refuses always gets me.

2. Kyle being gullible in Willzyx

I love this episode because Kyle normally is the smart one of the group and for him to fall for this trick I can’t help but love. He’s just adorable with his excitement and fortitude to save Willzyx. I love episodes where the boys are being boys and this episode focuses a little more on Kyle. Plus the ending with Kyle saying good bye to Willzyx, the ALF giving their speech as the rocket ship takes off and the boys cheering, I love it.  Then the episode ends with Kyle and the other boys proud of the good they’ve done, believing the whale is happy back on the moon and cut to the whale dead.

1. Kyle in South Park is Gay

This episode was one of the first on my list and when I started to sort and pick why for each I found overwhelming reasons for loving this episode alone. We get to see Kyle dressed in a metro-sexual outfit, Kyle decides being himself is more important than fads, Kyle getting beaten up, murderous Kyle, Mr. Slave busting through the window (yeah I know it’s not Kyle but come on fucking hilarious), Kyle proudly proclaiming "You'll never turn ME into a metrosexual! I like being a dirty, filthy little boy!”, Kyle getting a crab make over, and for some reason my heart melts the why Kyle happily yells “mom” and runs over to hug her. The whole episode mashed so many things I love about Kyle such as his ability to stand up against the norm added with his tendency to overboard like in The List and the dash of him happily hugging his Sheila when he’s rescued.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE

[vidovicart]

My 21 Favorite Places to Visit in Colombia

Posted: 4/18/2019 | April 18th, 2019

From the blue waters of Tayrona National Park, the sweeping views of the Cocora Valley, and the ruins of San Agustín, Tierradentro, and the Lost City, to the white colonial buildings of Popayán and the hustle and bustle of its metropolises, Colombia is packed with things to see and do.

I’d wanted to visit Colombia for years. And after spending six weeks there, I must say, it lived up to the hype.

I mean I’ve been fawning over it a lot in my last few posts. And I know I’m the millionth blogger to do so, but it really is as incredible as people say. (Even getting knifed there couldn’t stop me from loving the country.)

I had falsely assumed that six weeks would be enough to get a good sense of Colombia. After all, six weeks is a fair amount of time to spend anywhere.

But I was wrong. Given its size and the sheer number of activities, it was barely enough to scratch the surface.

Yet I did manage to see a lot.

Today I want to share my list of what I think are the best things to see and do in Colombia. These are the activities and places you should try to focus on when you visit:

1. Cartagena

Cartagena is one of the most visited destinations in Colombia (thanks to a lot of direct flights and cruise ship visits). Dating back to 1533, the city is famed for its colonial Old Town: a maze of cobbled alleys, flower-covered balconies, and giant churches on spacious plazas.

But despite the crowds (and there are a lot of crowds), I really enjoyed Cartagena. While there aren’t a lot of tourist activities (you can do most of them in a single day), what makes it a wonderful place to visit is just that: it’s somewhere you can slow down, relax, and gorge on the phenomenal gastronomy.

For more, check out this blog post about Cartegena and all my favorite places to eat there.

2. Tayrona National Park

Located on Colombia’s Caribbean coast, Tayrona has long stretches of golden beaches lined with coconut palms and a dense rainforest with lots of easy day hikes. You’ll also find campsites for overnight stays, hammocks for rent, restaurants, diving, and horse riding.

It’s easy to visit as a day trip from Santa Marta. I highly suggest you start early at the big entrance at El Zaino and exit the park through Calabazo. This underused route takes a whole day, and once you pass the Cabo San Juan campground, you’ll get the last half of the trail to yourself. Try to avoid visiting during January and weekends, when the crowds on the beaches and hiking paths are at their peak.

3. The Lost City (La Ciudad Perdida)

The Lost City was built around 800 CE and contains 169 terraces carved into the mountains, as well as a network of tiled roads and small plazas. It’s one of the most beautiful treks in the country, and the site is older than Machu Picchu! To visit, you need to hire a tour operator (you can’t do it by yourself). It’s about $300-350 USD for the trek from Santa Marta through the jungle up to these beautiful ruins and takes 4–6 days. If you’re pressed for time, you can also do it in three days; the only difference is the pace you go at.

(Tip: You cross a lot of rivers, so be sure to bring an extra pair of shoes or flip flops for when you cross the rivers. You’ll easily ruin a pair of sneakers along the way.)

4. Salento

Surrounded by green mountains and coffee farms, this is one of the oldest towns in the coffee-growing region and the most popular for travelers. The houses are painted a variety of vibrant colors, and the high vantage points throughout town provide some stunning views (sunsets are quite magical). There’s not much to do in the city itself — it’s simply a base for coffee tours or hiking the Cocora Valley (see below) or the trails around town — so it’s easy to spend a few days here watching the world go by with a good book in hand.

5. Cocora Valley

The Cocora Valley is home to Colombia’s national tree, the wax palm, which grows to nearly 200 feet tall. This area has probably the most popular day hike in the country (which was also my favorite activity during my entire trip). You’ll cross jungle rivers, visit a bird sanctuary, and enjoy some stellar views and forest scenery. The route’s about five hours, and you can choose to either take the clockwise or counterclockwise route. The clockwise route, starting at the Wax Palm Valley, is easier, with fewer hills. Counterclockwise is easier at the end, though a little anticlimactic, as you end the hike walking down a boring road.

(Tip: Start early to avoid the brutal midday heat, since there are a lot of exposed areas here.)

6. Bogotá

Bogotá is Colombia’s vibrant capital. While it’s not the country’s most popular destination, it felt the most “Colombian” to me: there was just a certain edge and charm to it, and it seemed the least touristy, with the fewest gringo expats. The historic downtown, La Candelaria, is filled with bright colonial buildings, detailed museums, delicious restaurants, tiny fun bars, historic churches, and centuries-old houses. The north end of town is home to boutique hotels and entertainment areas like Zona Rosa and Zona G. The foodie scene in the city is incredible, with a lot of international options and cutting-edge gastronomic happenings. Throw in some amazing walking tours, day trips, and hikes and you’ve got a recipe for an astounding city.

For more, here’s a list of all my favorite things to do – and places to eat – in Bogota.

7. Cali

This hot, hot city is the salsa capital of the world, where people come to dance. A lot of the guests at my hostel had been there for weeks to learn (the hostels also offer free dance classes). If you like to dance, you can’t miss this city. Besides dancing, though, there are a number of parks, museums, and churches you can visit, plus free walking and food tours. While I didn’t stay long, I definitely enjoyed the scene.

8. Popayán

Popayán rivals Cartagena as Colombia’s most impressive colonial town. It’s known as La Ciudad Blanca (“The White City”) because all the buildings are painted white. Popayán is also a college town (there are three universities), and it’s produced 17 presidents too! Though small, I really loved the slow pace of life and the surprisingly robust food scene here (eat at La Cosecha Parrillada, Restaurante Italiano y Pizzeria, La Fresa, and Mora de Castilla).

While you don’t need a lot of time (take the walking tour, climb the hill, see the churches, and you’re done), I do suggest staying longer to enjoy the slow pace of life. So much of Colombia is go-go-go, it’s nice to find a place that’s more “stay and relax a while.”

9. Tatacoa Desert

Millions of years ago it was once a lush tropical forest. Now, Tatacoa Desert is filled with rocky canyons in shades of red and gray. It is also home to one of the most important observatories in South America, where you can gaze at the stars (weather permitting). If you want to be blown away by the universe, you really need to see this place! Other than that, there’s not much here. Bike into the desert, take some walks, stare at the sky. Stay a night or two. It’s not a popular area, but it is a picturesque way to break up the long bus ride from Bogotá to the south or vice versa.

10. San Agustín Archaeological Park

A UNESCO World Heritage Site, San Agustín is a small mountain town that’s home to hundreds of pre-Columbian statues and burial mounds. Its collection of religious monuments and megalithic sculptures is the largest in Latin America, for which you’ll need at least one full day (two to really see it all in depth). If you love history, this is probably the best spot in all of Colombia to experience it.

11. San Gil

San Gil is considered the outdoors capital of the country. Extreme-sports fans love it here. You can go white-water rafting, paragliding, caving, rappelling, trekking, and more from this city! This city is a great place to do outdoor activities and you’re going to find a lot of tour operators in the city. Try to plan at least three days here. It’s worth it.

12. Providencia and San Andrés Islands

These islands are actually closer to Nicaragua than Colombia. They are also considered some of the most unspoiled places in the Caribbean. You’ll find white-sand beaches, stunningly clear blue water, and few crowds (though, thanks to some recent press, Providencia is becoming a lot busier).

Try to make it when tens of thousands of black crabs migrate to the sea. This happens twice a year for about a 1-2-week period between April and July, so it’s not always easy to nail the timing.

13. Medellín

In a country full of hype, this hyped-up city is all that it’s cracked up to be. Set in the Aburrá Valley, Medellín is one of the fastest-growing cities in Colombia. It has enough activities and things to do to fill weeks on end: from microbreweries, museums, walking tours, spacious parks, street art, food tours and markets to incredible nightlife, and on and on and on.

It’s one of the most popular destinations for expats and tourists in the country. While it’s easy to get lost in Gringoland here, try to get out of Poblado or Laureles and see the locals’ side of town.

There’s more to the city than those two areas!

14. Guatapé

This pueblo is one of the most picturesque towns in Colombia and one of the most colorful in the world, as most of the traditional homes have murals painted on the bottom half of their façades that depict animals, people, and shapes. Just hanging out in one of the bright plazas, drinking coffee and people-watching, is one of the most pleasant things to do here.

Most people, though, come to climb the steep (and difficult) staircase to the top of the monolithic Rock of Guatapé (La Piedra) for some of the best views in the country. Guatapé is a long day trip from Medellín (hostels in the city organize them throughout the week) so I recommend trying to spend at least a night here so you aren’t as rushed and can enjoy the area little more.

15. Chingaza National Park

This is one of the biggest nature reserves in Colombia, home to more than 1,000 plant species and 187 bird species. Here you’ll learn about the Páramo ecosystem and how it affects the global water system. (Fun fact: Nearly 80% of Bogotá’s water supply comes from Chingaza.) If you’re going to hike, joining a tour is a good idea. The guides are usually naturalists who can explain the unique environment of the area. One of the best routes is the challenging hike to the summit of Lagunas de Siecha, with a great view over the lakes.

16. Barranquilla

Located between Santa Marta and Cartagena, Barranquilla is the spot to be during Carnival, the second biggest in Latin America. It starts on a Sunday with the Battle of Flowers (a big parade) and the coronation of the King and Queen.

But there’s a lot to do here when it’s not carnival season as well. Make sure you visit El Museo del Caribe, a museum offering an interesting insight into the history of Colombia’s Caribbean coast. There’s also a special exhibit dedicated to Gabriel García Márquez (the famous author who wrote Love in the Time of Cholera).

17. Tierradentro

Tierradentro is one of the most important archaeological sites in South America. It’s up there with San Agustín but gets less press since it’s located in the middle of nowhere and not on a main road. It contains over 100 hypogea (underground tombs) dating from the sixth to the tenth centuries, the only examples of their kind in the Americas. It takes a day or two to hike all the paths around the tombs. You can hire a guide if you want, but the trails are pretty easy to do on your own.

18. Manizales (and Los Nevados)

On the road from Medellín to the south is the city of Manizales. Here, you can take some tours at this northern point of the coffee-growing region, or roam around town, which has some decent restaurants and churches, and a scenic gondola ride. The main reason people visit is to hike Los Nevados, a mountain range with majestic snow-capped peaks. You can do a day or multi-day hikes, but whatever you do, don’t rush up to the top — acclimatize yourself to the altitude in Manizales for a few days first. The town is 2,000 meters (6,500 feet) above sea level, but mountains are about 6,000 meters (19,700 feet)! I wasn’t climatized and could really feel the altitude just walking around town. Don’t push yourself if you want to do the hike.

19. The Caribbean Coast

The beaches on the Caribbean coast might not win any awards (at least in my opinion), but the sleepy towns reminded me a lot of the tiny backpacker beach villages around Southeast Asia: a dirt road, lots of hostels, a relaxed atmosphere, and not much else to do. I could easily see why people end up getting stuck here for weeks at a time. The best beach towns to visit are Costeño Beach and Palomino.

20. Punta Gallinas

Punta Gallinas is the northernmost point in all of South America. Most people come here via a tour from Santa Marta or Cabo de Vela, with the latter (through La Guajira Desert) being the better option if you just want to take your time and relax because it’s closer so there’s a lot less drive time. In fact, the only way to see the area is via a tour. Most are two or three nights depending on where you’re coming from. Any hostel can organize a trip for you.

21. Minca

Minca is located in the foothills of the Sierra de Santa Marta Mountains. Once a sleepy backpacker town, it’s now a hot spot for tourists escaping the oppressive heat on the Caribbean coast and hoping to do some quiet hikes. One of the best hikes is to Los Pinos, but it isn’t easy: it takes about three hours from the center of town, and it’s a steady climb into the mountains but, like all things like this, it’s worth it.

There are a lot of waterfalls in the area as well. Two of the best are the Pozo Azul and Marinka. Both have swimming holes at them too.

Be sure to check out the sunset Mundo Nuevo Hostel. It’s an amazing vantage point.

***

Colombia has a million and one things to do. I lost track of all the places I kept wishing I had time to visit. You can spend months there (and a lot of people to do). However, I think this list is a great start. My recommendation is that if you’re short on time, fly (the bus rides are long) or just stick to one area of the country and go in depth around that region.

Trying to “see it all” in Colombia is just a recipe for burnout!

Book Your Trip to Colombia: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Want More Information on Colombia? Be sure to visit our robust destination guide on Colombia for even more planning tips!

Photo credits: 4, 10, 11, 12, 18, 19, 21, 22

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