#top 10 of the 2010's

[gentleoverdrive]

(240/?) You will see your downfall.

It's been raining again for a couple of days! Driving around the city to go into rehearsals for the pre-production process of one of the recording sessions we'll start soon has been so fun... even if I have to use my 8-string for these new songs. Goddammit, that guitar is so heavy now that I lost weight, it's hard to play it for long periods of time standing. ---- And while I was able to pull off most of the songs without much of an issue (after all, 5 out of the 9 songs were almost completely written by me), I've been wondering: Weren't both literary and musical genres, like, entirely dreamed up by marketing? I say this because, while I love playing slow, droning stoner/post-metal as much as the next musician, it's also not the only thing I want to do with this particular band. ---- Especially because we're a power trio. We don't even have a proper bass player. Hell, technically speaking, the low register is mostly MY thing in this band! Wouldn't it be cool if musicians weren't so married to their own genres as the standard? I'd love to play some crossover or even thrash with these two girls! ---- Same with my other band! I don't want to play melodeath all the time with those guys. How about some black metal? How about some metalcore? Or grind? Wouldn't that be the shit? Think about it. Genres are purely for marketing, man. See you later, alligator!

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 2

content warning: mentions of food because big boys gotta eat, there’s a ref photo for an outfit in here that is unfortunately NOT a plus-size girl 😞 (I couldn’t find a big girl wearing an outfit like that for the life of me, but let’s use our imagination), 18+ towards the end so MDNI!

word count: 1.7k (not very drabble-like, ik) kinda proofread

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up when his 6 am alarm rings, eyes tired and bleary. His roommate is sound asleep, thank god, and Miguel is just staring at the ceiling for a good 10 minutes before he decides to move. He has an 8 am and he needs some type of breakfast before he heads to class.

GymRat!Miguel who uses the college cafeteria to his full advantage. He made sure that his dad’s money went to the highest meal plan. One free meal plan a day and a loaded campus card for everything else. He stacks his plate high with everything the cafeteria is offering today. Sausages, eggs, 2 bananas, a blueberry muffin, and a protein shake he brought from his room.

GymRat!Miguel who made friends with one of the cafeteria ladies, Ms. Beatrice, by the third week of school. She noticed how much he visited the cafeteria and always snuck him an extra treat from the kitchen when she saw him.

“I missed you last Tuesday!” she says, squeezing his shoulder when she walks up to his table. She slides a wrapped egg sandwich across the table. “I was saving some extra cookies for you, but you were nowhere to be found.”

Miguel thanks her, happy to have something light for later, “Ah, I was stuck in the library doing a group project. Sorry about that, Ms. Beatrice.”

“As long as you’re getting your education, I don’t mind,” she says, hands on her hips. “Don’t go out there skipping class now, ok?”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Miguel says, waving her goodbye. His mom would kill him if that ever happened. Not that he would tell her, she just had a sixth sense for his “fuck-ups.”

GymRat!Miguel who makes it to his class fifteen minutes early to arrange his part of his desk to his liking. Sometimes he feels so embarrassed when he needs to grab something in the middle of class, his ears hyperfocusing on every little noise he makes in quiet, crowded areas. He always makes sure to get out his laptop, a pen, a pencil, a highlighter, a notebook, some white-out, and a water jug. He prefers to be over-prepared.

GymRat!Miguel who’s feeling anxious when the sorority girls pass by his table, giggling and twirling their hair. They attempt to make conversation with him, speaking ill of the professor. He just nods along for the sake of being a gentleman. He thought the professor’s Millennial attempts at Gen Z jokes were kind of funny, albeit very 2010. He didn’t have the heart to tell them he actually enjoyed the lectures.

GymRat!Miguel who’s never been more excited for a lecture to start in his life. He didn’t know many more “wow”’s snd “that’s crazy”’s he had left in him. The noise of the ice hitting their plastic coffee cups as they struggled to get every drop out was starting to grate against his ears. He missed you and your sticker-covered water bottle. He looked over at his jug and smiled when he saw the ‘Game Over’ sticker you gifted him before the last lab. You noticed his joystick keychain and felt that his water bottle was empty.

GymRat!Miguel who declines the girls’ offer to join them on a morning jog after. He liked to work out in solitude and morning jogs with them would mean conversation. He would also have to be extra conscious about what he wore. No older lady walking her dog needed to spot him jogging with shorts that were too short for his own good and a tank top cut so deep that it was like string on his chest.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to head to the library in between class to kill time. He figured he can see if there are any science fiction he can check out to read in his free time. As he walks there, he opens Instagram to scroll. No, he has not been checking the app since this morning to see if you let him in, he’s not a freak. He stops walking when he checks his notifs to see that you accepted his follow request. He wastes no time to click your page again and is bombarded with tons of photos.

GymRat!Miguel who has to close the app immediately when he sees your first photo. It's a picture of you outside of a restaurant in a knitted two-piece. The top is open just a bit to see your chest and the long skirt is low enough to see a part of your stomach peeking through. Your smile is radiant and the caption is something about congratulating someone. You look delectable and Miguel can’t afford to run back to his dorm to let his mind wander over it right now.

GymRat!Miguel who gets another notification as he steps into his dorm room after his last class of the day and sees that you’ve liked and commented on his most recent post. It’s a mirror picture of him flexing his arm after his last work out. His shorts are riding high on his thighs and the curve of his ass is very noticeable. Gabriel had blew up his phone with voice memos of him cackling after he posted it.

“Looking good!! 🫣 Get those gains Miguel! 💪🏾”

Miguel runs a victory lap in his dorm room, thankful that his roommate wouldn’t be back until that night. He’s jumping and punching the air excitedly as if he were a boxer. If he wasn’t fearful of busting his ass, he’d do a backflip. Take that, Gabri.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to go back to your account, running on the hype of that one compliment from you. He stares at that first photo again, still mesmerized as if he didn’t see it earlier. He gives a like and starts typing.

“Wow…”

No, that’s corny.

“Loving the blue…”

Is he a frat guy?

“You look stunning”

Was that too much? He decides to add on a heart eyes emoji, afraid he might be coming on too strong.

GymRat!Miguel who goes a little further down your page. There’s a photo of you in a crochet cover up, your swimsuit peaking through the material. He groans as he slides to the next picture and the top of your cover up is off and it’s just a view of your back with your bikini string wrapped around it. Your lower half is in the water and if he can imagine it just enough, he can feel himself right behind you, taking in the view of your ass against him.

He’s hard. Again.

He decides to just let everything hang while he has the dorm to himself. His boxers are to his ankles as he sits on the bed, back against the wall. He keeps staring at your swimsuit pictures. Your breasts pushed together while you lean over the boat. Your hips swaying in a clip of you dancing with your friends. Your stomach on display as you lay in the sand, ready for him to squeeze.

He grit his teeth as he played the clips over and over again, his hand moving fast to bring him his relief. He closed his eyes and imagined he was there, watching you swaying before him. He would join you, grab your hips and let you guide him in the dance. He felt faint as he let go, voice shouting and white splattered across his shirt and fist.

He breathes fast, trying to calm down. He decides to like the photo dump and comment some aimless beach emojis under the post. It was the least he could do after using it to get off. How embarrassing.

GymRat!Miguel who jumps when his phone dings again. He was prepping to go to the gym when your response comes flying to his phone. His heart picks up when he sees you replied to his comment.

“That is so sweet of you to say! 🥺 Thank you 🥰”

He doesn’t know if you took it as a friendly gesture or a sign that he wanted you. Either way, he’s over the moon. There’s a pep in his step as he blasts Super Shy in his ears on the way to the gym. He had a new motivation to push harder in his sets.

GymRat!Miguel who tacks on 10 extra pounds during his arm workout. The guys in the gym are eyeing him in wonder and horror as he uses the 70lb weights for tricep extensions. He thinks of seeing you in lab later that week and decides to do some hip thrusts.

He can never be over-prepared.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to take a picture at the end of his work out to post on his story. He’s sweating, hair dripping towards the ends, his chest glistening. The angle is awkward as he moves the camera below him and flexes an arm for the picture. The story was meant for one girl and one girl only, so he didn’t really care how silly it looked to others.

GymRat!Miguel who almost fist pumps on the walk home when you like his story and leave a reply. He checks the private messages, grin on his face before he even reads what you have to say.

“Looks like you had a nice workout. I might have to join you next time and get some tips 🤔”

Miguel swiped the app up and texted Gabriel:

“Don’t ever question my game again”

"? Wtf are you talking about"

Miguel opened up his messages with you again and replied to text him whenever and he’d be happy to help.

GymRat!Miguel who winds down for the night, scrolling on his phone before he closes his eyes. Of course you posted a story and of course he pressed it within record speed.

It was a photo of you laying down all bundled up with a cute ‘good night’ gif moving across the bottom. You had on a spaghetti strap tank top and if your blanket wasn’t in the way, he’s sure he would see more than that.

You looked soft, adorable, kissable.

He liked the story and responded back a “good night” and closed his phone. He wanted you to visit him in his dreams once more.

dividers by: @gigittamic 🩵

a/n: tumblr mobile kept deleting full paragraphs of my draft. not happy about that because I kept losing my flow. 😒 it happened like THREE TIMES 😭

Thanks for reading! Like, comment, reblog, and tell me how you feel! 🩵

Wanna be added to the taglist for GymRat!Miguel? Comment and let me know. 🤗 (PLEASE HAVE YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO. This series has been and will get even more NSFW!)

taglist: @ghost-lantern 🫶🏾🥺

[wayslidecool]

arabic numerals ranked from worst to best by their potential as the lens in new year's glasses

#10: Seven (7)

seven is a very awkward number for a lot of things, and new year's glasses are no exception. its weird angular shape leaves no opening to put a lens in, and unlike the next entry, it's too wide to comfortably squeeze between lens in the second and fourth digits. and the impressive thing about 7 is that this is a number with plenty of writing variations, and yet i can't think of a single one that makes it an efficient lens! sorry 7. i think you're the best number for a rating scale, but that's about it.

#9: One (1)

the 2010s were a rough time for new year's glasses, huh? coming off the high of the 1990s and 2000s, people were determined to make the 2010s work, but that's a tall fucking order. the saving grace of 1, and the reason it's above 7, is that it's skinny enough that you can slide it between numbers and use the fourth digit of the year as the lens, but the fact you have to resort to that is only further evidence of how much 1 sucks at being the lens.

#8: Two (2)

two is definitely a tier above the previous two entries. it's an interesting and versatile enough shape that you can mess with it to try and make a viable spot for a lens, what with the upper loop and lower angle, but i feel no matter what you try, you always gotta make some concessions. like, you have enough to work with that a talented enough designer can make something that works, but usually the result is more "functional" than "good".

#7: Four (4)

now we're getting into numbers that could actually make for passable lenses. i mean, check it out! we have a closed loop here and everything, that has GOT to count for something! what makes me put four relatively low on the list is that with its right-triangle shape, i can't imagine it being a very comfortable shape for a lens, especially with how much ends up sticking out and downwards. still, a vast improvement over the previous three entries, even if it's basically just a worse 9.

#6: Five (5)

i feel like depending on what you prioritize in new year's glasses, these next two entries could end up going below the previous one, but personally, i think the not-closed round loop feels like a more practical spot for a lens than 4's closed-but-angular loop, y'know? so what if the loop isn't closed, it still mostly surrounds your eye, and feels generally passable to me. this is a number that wouldn't inspire the idea for new year's glasses, but certainly works now that the idea has been established.

#5: Three (3)

three is basically the same thing as 5, and i could even see some people putting it below 5, since 5's loop is a bit closer to being closed than either of 3's loops. that being said, 3's dual-loop is ultimately what gives it the edge to me. it ends up feeling more versatile to me. i feel the bottom loop is generally the correct choice, but just having the option of the top loop as well really helps it out. either way, after suffering through the 2010s and 2020s, i expect the 2030s to be a welcome breath of fresh air.

#4: Nine (9)

now we're getting to the really good ones. i mean, the 1990s are when the trend of new year's glasses started! if this number was good enough to kickstart the trend, then clearly it's a good number to put the lens in. having a closed round loop really goes a long way, it turns out! what puts 9 below the next three entries is the tail. having that swoop down towards your face feels like it'd be a bit uncomfortable, and this issue doesn't crop up with the next three entries. still, 9 is a trailblazer and its place in the New Year's Glasses Metagame needs to be respected.

#3: Six (6)

if 9's only issue is the tail getting all up in your face, then what better way to solve that then just turning it upside-down? it might just be me, put having it brush up against your forehead feels much, much less intrusive than having it brush up against your face. and plus, it can give the impression of a raised eyebrow! bonus! the 2030s-2050s are going to be a refreshing breath of fresh air following the awful new year's glasses of the 2010s and 2020s, but the 2060s are going to be a true new year's glasses renaissance.

#2: Eight (8)

hey, so remember how i put 3 above 5 since i felt the double loop made it a bit more versatile? well now imagine that, but both loops are closed. 8 makes for such a good lens, it's a little surprising we didn't see new year's glasses in the 1980s (i'm guessing having two of the same number is more inspiring than two different numbers?) either way, eight isn't content to give you just one closed loop. it'll give you a second closed loop right above. (or below!) 8 is a versatile number with many options, and i hope i can live to see the day we see it in new year's glasses. a true stand out in its field.

#1: Zero (0)

still, even with all the good years ahead, it's hard to ignore the fact that the best years are sadly behind us, with the 2000s being the absolute pinnacle of new year's glasses design. i mean, come on. a single loop with no frills is basically what glasses designs default to already, so using the middle two zeroes as the lens for glasses? impeccable design. the 1990s were good enough to kickstart the trend, but the 2000s were good enough to make us want to brute force the 2010s and 2020s. if that's not the mark of a good design, i don't know what is.

sadly, it's likely we'll never see design this good again. the next year with the middle two digits being two zeroes is 3000, and while we might be able to execute double-zero designs at the turn of each century, they'll end up looking weirdly lopsided in the process. i believe humans are hubristic enough to try and brute-force bad decades, but multiple bad centuries? forget about it.

oh well. happy new year

[tyrantisterror]

Top ten versions of Mary Jane Watson?

Original recipe, complete with the horribly dated 60's slang, and especially when drawn by John Romita Sr.

Ultimate Universe Gwen Stacy, who fills the Mary Jane Watson role in that universe of existing to be an obstacle to the primary romance lead (which, in the Ultimate Universe, was Mary Jane Watson) and, like 616 MJ before her, was the far more interesting character with a more unique dynamic with Peter because of it.

Michelle Jones from the MCU, who I am apparently in the minority camp of thinking she IS actually a great adaptation of MJ, taking how MJ would have been perceived in the 60's (i.e. as an intriguing weirdo who bucks social norms very confidently) and adapts it to the radically different youth culture of the 2010s/2020s.

- 10. The rest of them basically, almost all adaptations of Mary Jane file off her personality in favor of making her a generic love interest. Well, ok, Insomniac Spider-Man just made her Lois Lane instead, but still.

[zeno-zero]

Avatar Roku rant/rambles:

I love him, I love him in such an insane amount. Had me on chokehold since 10 years old like goodness me! What the fuck H-E-🏑🏑 !!

Nobody understood his character and that would've been greatly fine with me but the amount of mischaracterizations, misinterepations, and wishes that he's more like Kyoshi has always made me upset. Roku is a good man whose position as an avatar is poor in terms of writing and expanding his story further.

Roku outside of being Aang's mentor and guide - he was nothing more than just being kindhearted, wise, and pleasant while also acknowledging his indecisiveness, and faults. He even has a flawed perspective on the four nations, that the four nations should always be remained seperated, and still. Yet, I still continue to adore him a LOT. He have so much potential, there are rooms that people could always explore his character than just on the surface/visual level. His airbending and waterbending teachers weren't even named in the late 2010's until some informations were finally out !!

The gene yang comics are not my cup of tea but Roku telling Aang that he should end Zuko's life because he couldn't bare the thought of seeing Sozin? WOW. His friendship with Sozin has always mean something to Roku - so much so, he trusted him to the point it was his downfall. The thought of Sozin's redemption after he left him with the rubble is definitely what Roku had in his mind. But we're talking about the conflict between the Avatar and the Fire Lord, never Roku and Sozin.

His bending abilities are fucking awesome too !! Destroyed an entire palace with airbending + avatar state alone? Created a massive wave in one single move that sent his teacher flying up all the way on top of the chief's palace? He can even be quiet and and silently burrow to the ground to suprise attack enemies with earthbending? Lets not forget that the entire island that Roku was in used to be a huge one until he cut it into a cresent island !! There used to be two super volcanoes !! There's only one remaining !! His firebending shown on the show is also interesting! His fire made Zhao's crew literally run away while incinerating thd metal chains that Katara, Sokka, Shyu, and Zuko were wrapped around with,, unharmed. Him simultaneously bending all four elements at once without the use of the avatar state? Gosh,, people underestimate him sooooo much !!

"But Roku died to a volcano! He should've evacuated-" He was minimizing the effects of it! He died as a hero in that night because no other people held power his power just like he has. The citizens and his wife would've died if it weren't for him, because while it isn't explicitly explained in his wiki and show -  Lava entering the ocean creates a distinctive set of hazards that have seriously injured or killed unsuspecting people eager to see up close the interaction of hot lava and cool seawater. As hot lava boils cool seawater, a series of chemical and physical reactions create a mixture of condensed, acidic steam, hydrochloric acid gas, and tiny shards of volcanic glass. Blown by wind, this plume creates a noticeable downwind haze, known as "laze" (short for lava haze) <- [From "Lava entering ocean" | U.S Geological Survey - USGS.gov] ||And to also answer the dragon part that died with him? I have no answer for that other than the plot has to move on /or the dragon relies on his orders, and to Roku's dying breath, he would rather stay with him.

And nobody talks about how painful and traumatizing Roku's death is - pyroclastic flow is apart of volcano, he either died burning alive, suffocated, or even buried alive! On the margins of pyroclastic flows, death and serious injury to people and animals may result from burns and inhalation of hot ash and gases. Archaeologists have found that some people perished in a pyroclastic surge, a wave of superheated gas and hot ash that literally boiled their blood and caused their skulls to explode, reports Neel V. Patel at Popular Science. <- [Pyroclastic Flows move fast and destroying everything in their path" | U.S Geological survey] AND ["Mount Vesuvius Boiled Its Victims’ Blood and Caused Their Skulls to Explode" by Jason Delay]

But in a summary, I love Roku and I would die to honor his name. Thank you for reading through all of this. Love you guys !! /platonically 

[dnd-smash-pass-vs]

Fun fact: While considered one of the worst character assassinations of the late 2000's/early 2010's, Stephanie Meyer's changing of Jacob was an attempt to make him better. She thought he was boring and unlikeable, she was shocked by how many preferred him! So she thought she'd give the fans a gift..by making him possessive, aggressive, imprinted on an child, and more! You know, apparently positive traits in her brain, in an attempt to even the playing field. Why mention this? I add anything I can conceive of as a benefit, even if it's not a benefit to me. But I'm always going to seem like I've skewed the occasional match or left out the best part. Sometimes that is just due to time or bias, but often that's just you being into very different things than me. Your "that's just a ____" is someone else's Top 10 pick. Every negative I give is met with at least a few cases of "you say that like it's a bad thing" or "obviously OP skewing it in their favor." So I encourage you to add your own reasons when spreading things around!

[ratedstar]

ʬʬ . ⠀⠀★☆ ⠀ WHATISAPOSER.COM ?! ⠀ ৶ ⠀ ❝ a person who acts in an affected manner in order to impress others ❞ ⠀ ⏤ ⠀ in 2003, a legacy was born; POSER RECORDS is a fictional record label created by korean-american producer && CEO KIM JOONHO, professionally known as JOON. with credentials named alongside 90's icons such as MADONNA, JANET JACKSON, and GEORGE MICHAEL, articles and on-site reports from the local news flooded the media as the turnout for their first local audition exceeded everyone's expectations.

"he's one of the best, and everyone wants to work with the best!" number 238 in line cheerfully told reporters on the first day of the week-long scouting period.

after a long, tedious, and rather eventful week ( at least five fights broke out, someone passed out during their audition, two people had to be dragged out of the audition room ), poser records began working on creating the foundation of their brand. months passed with little to no information regarding their first idol getting out. side from a leak speculating it was going to be a young woman in her early 20's, nothing else hit the media. what did cause a frenzy in early 2003 was the possible brewing partnership between joon and former teen popstar YAHYA UYEN, famously known as YAYA, after she denounced her father's record label for financially cheating her throughout her entire career.

2005 was the year everyone was waiting for. poser records debuted their first female soloist and icon-to-be known as KANDI. her debut album, "candygirl," was deemed a timeless classic with songs like sweet fantasy and honey peaking at #1 across various charts. for the next four years, her music dominated the industry; songs like 10 minutes, 1&ONLY, and your girl ( only girl ) becoming unforgettable gems for generations to come. kandi will be one of the few korean idols to breakout internationally in america thanks to collaborations with brands like von dutch, baby phat, cover girl, and juicy couture. her time in the studio weren't limited, either as her voice can be heard on the soundtracks for films such as the devil wears prada, john tucker must die, bring it on: all or nothing, and the house bunny.

For the full biography, see KANDI ( korean-american pop singer )

with kandi's career seemingly unmatched by competitors, poser decided to strike while the iron was hot and in 2008, debuted their male soloist named JAEHWAN. similar to his senior, jaehwan became a success overnight with his studio album "a quarter past midnight" as it topped the r&b charts thanks to the hit thinkin' bout you ( on my mind ). while his future releases ( chance of us, dangerous woman ) did exceptional, it was the pop hit c.a.n.d.y that drove him into stardom as it soft launched the soon-to-be relationship between him and kandi in 2010. jaehwan has since become a famed vocalist and actor with his breakout role being the heirs in 2013 and notable characters later on in train to busan, crash landing on you, and squid game.

For the full biography, see PARK JAEHWAN ( korean pop singer )

as poser records achieved bigger and greater heights, it was only a matter of time until the ugly side of fame began showing its head. 2009 will begin a pattern of failed female soloists starting with the attempted debut of NA ISOM, or ISA. from the very start of her career, isa was bashed relentlessly by media outlets and on online forums for simply existing; no one understood where the hate came from but poser still continued with pushing her out. things took a more serious turn when it was rumored that she had a stalker who made threats on her life. the company took every safety precaution they could but it was useless after isa was involved in a three-car pileup after trying to escape her assailant in her own vehicle one night. though isa survived the wreck, a young couple did not, resulting in her receiving more backlash than before. four months later, poser had announced that isa was terminating her contract due to her own mental health as well as funding the families of the victims before disappearing from the spotlight in 2013.

just in 2010, the company had introduced REINA as an upcoming artist but she never got to see her debut as just a week before her schedule was to be revealed, allegations of reina abusing her sick, elderly mother had started to spread. she was quickly removed from the label with no statement and proper announcement, but her name on the website was taken down as well as her photos. following her was HAN DOYEON, a former SM TRAINEE many people anticipated to see debut. luckily for her, she managed to release two mini albums before her career was cut short. in january of 2015, doyeon was exposed for blackmailing a famous athlete with a video of them having an affair in exchange for money to pay off her debts. as you have probably guessed already, she was kicked from the company but still tried to make a name for herself elsewhere.

For the full list, see POSER RECORD CONTROVERSIES

outside of the dumpster fire that was 2009-2015, poser records had to deal with the more minor scandals happening between kandi and jaehwan. the first came after the couple broke up in 2013 when a recorded conversation between jaehwan and a friend leaked. in the audio, he described his relationship with kandi to be a "fucking mistake." he went on to call her entitled and sometimes referred to her as a "the devil" the longer she was the topic. news channels, journalists, and kandi's fans condemned him for his words, but they all somehow failed to bring up the part when jaehwan briefly mentioned her being tied to the incidents with the former women of poser.

unfortunately ( or fortunately ) for him, he was only placed on hiatus after giving a public apology to kandi. despite him going radio silent, kandi wasted no time slandering his name even further into the ground. she revealed that their relationship to him was a publicity stunt to increase his sales as they were performing poorly compared to estimated amount he should've been making. though there was an article that was published but removed clarifying that she was the one who came up with the idea of them dating after her small scandal of cursing out a retail employee until she cried, people believed her every word, his public support only dropping further and further from there.

For the full biography, see ▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋

despite the hiccups here and there, poser records still maintains major success thanks to the future debuts of their idol groups. their groups, while proving to more rambunctious than their seniors in every way possible, prove that their forces to be reckoned with no matter what the world throws at them. is this a good thing, or a bad thing? that's sorta up to them to decide.

ʬʬ . ⠀⠀★☆ ⠀ PUBLIC DOSSIER ?! ⠀ ৶ ⠀⠀⠀STATS !

INDUSTRY⠀⠀›⠀⠀MUSIC, ENTERTAINMENT, PRODUCTION.

OPERATES AS⠀⠀›⠀⠀RECORD LABEL, TALENT AGENCY, MUSIC PRODUCTION COMPANY, EVENT MANAGEMENT AND CONCERT PRODUCTION COMPANY,⠀⠀&.⠀⠀MUSIC PUBLISHING HOUSE.

FOUNDED⠀⠀›⠀⠀JUNE 10TH, 2003; 21 YEARS ONGOING.

FOUNDER⠀⠀›⠀⠀KIM JOONHO.

HEADQUARTERS⠀⠀›⠀⠀APGUJEONG-DONG, GANGNAM-DONG, SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA⠀⠀&.⠀⠀SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES.

CEOS⠀⠀›⠀⠀KIM JOONHO⠀( 2003 - )

[gothamnewsnetwork-official]

OPINION HOUR - Is Richard ‘Dick’ Grayson a furry?

The opinions voiced in this article may not align with the views of this journal

Dick Grayson, by his own admission, is a furry (see related articles).

Over the past few days Mr. Grayson ( @notnotnightwing ) has put out multiple posts about furries, including art of his own fursona (see post here). The shocking this is, he’s not the only Wayne to be one.

His father, Bruce Wayne ( @officialbruciewayne ), has posted multiple pictures of what I can only assume to be his very own fursona. This leads me to wonder three things, how long have these two, Mr. Grayson specifically, been furries? Are there any other furries within the Wayne Family? And are the rumours of a secret society of billionaire furries true?

While it is not, at this moment, possible for me to make a case for the latter of my questions, the first two questions are things I can easily answer.

Given that Mr. Grayson has fully stated that he is in fact a furry, that checks that question of mine off.

As for the question of how long he has been a furry, or at least how long he’s had this fursona, I have contacted a specialist in fursona design (who wishes to remain anonymous for legality’s sake) to evaluate Mr. Grayson’s fursona. They had the following to say -

“Simplistic, reminiscent of 2000’s emo culture (see related articles), lacks detail. Overall a 5/10, very mediocre for a first attempt. I don’t believe this guy’s been a furry for all that long. Probably 3-4 months tops.”

I find myself agreeing with their observations, as the character simply lacks any of the flare and drama that one tends to see from the furry community. It simply seems to be Mr. Grayson with a snout, and I believe more could be done.

However, despite the harsh criticisms, it is quite good for a first attempt and is reminiscent of many horror-esque comics from the early 2010’s furry community (see related articles).

So therefore our two main questions are answered; Dick Grayson is a furry and has been one for the past few months at least.

I’d like to end this off with thanking Gotham Reports for platforming me and running this article, as it is something I believe the world should know.

Let us know your thoughts on the topic (here)

Gotham Reports is certified in unbiased, reliable, and fair journalism

[douqi7s]

Top 10+ notable baihe authors currently working today

1. Jun Sola

Jun Sola (君sola)'s claim to fame rests on her tomb-raiding epic Exploring an Empty Tomb (探虚陵), which she began serialising in 2010. It is now approximately 4 million words long and still ongoing. The epic tells of the adventures of sheltered but intelligent cultivator Shi Qingyi and the mysterious Luo Shen across multiple historical periods and into modern times.

A partial (8 out of 300 chapters) fan translation of the novel (historical section) can be found here.

A partial fan translation of the audio drama adaptation for the modern section of the novel can be found here.

2. Ning Yuan

Ning Yuan (宁远), baihe's own multi-genre queen, has been writing steadily since 2008. Her titles range from historical court epic At Her Mercy (我为鱼肉), sci-fi thriller The Creator's Grace (造物的恩宠), VR-themed novel Middle-Aged Love Patch (中年恋爱补丁), and showbiz romance The Show Must Go On (逢场入戏) For 2024, she has promised a historical cyberpunk baihe novel.

3. Ruo Hua Ci Shu

Ruo Hua Ci Shu (若花辞树), who has been writing in the genre since 2012. She is probably best known for her historical novels, of which the most popular is Minister Xie (谢相). Billed (by me) as The Goblin Emperor meets Sha Po Lang, Minister Xie tells the tale of teenage female emperor Liu Zao's indefatigable efforts to turn her (significantly older) prime minister Xie Yi into her wife while trying to get to grips with ruling an empire.

4. Jiu Nuan Chun Shen

Jiu Nuan Chun Shen (酒暖春深) shot to dizzying levels of fame on the strength of the action thriller Miss Forensics (我亲爱的法医小姐). The novel features a push-pull relationship between a forensic pathologist on a one-woman crusade of vengeance and justice with a self-destructive streak a mile wide and a police detective whose stubbornness is a match for hers. Its popularity is such that it even has some degree of mainstream awareness.

A partial (5 out of 144 chapters) fan translation of the novel can be found here.

5. Qi Xiao Huang Shu

Qi Xiao Huang Shu (七小皇叔) had been toiling unnoticed in the word mines for a few years before earning acclaim with her Republican Era tomb-raiding novel Reading the Remnants (问棺). The novel focuses on the adventures of five tomb-raiders: Li Shiyi (a veteran of the trade), Song Shijiu (a creepy fast-growing baby found in a tomb), A-Yin (a tomb-raider turned courtesan), A-Luo (the Overseer of Hell), and Tu Layao (a small-time hustler).

A partial (8 out of 115 chapters) fan translation of the novel can be found here. A second partial (10 out of 115 chapters) fan translation of the novel can be found here.

The author has since released a trio of contemporary romances — Pat Me on the Back (帮我拍拍), Evening Tide (晚潮) and Kissing a Gardenia (都什么年代了啊) — set in audio drama production and acting circles.

6. Min Ran

Min Ran (闵然) specialises in contemporary romances, all of which have been popular enough to attract print publication and audio drama (and sometimes manhua) adaptations. Her two most notable works are the contemporary age gap romance For the Rest of Our Lives (余生为期) and the showbiz novel (with a dash of rebirth) Waiting for You (余情可待).

7. Yu Shuang

Yu Shuang (鱼霜) writes primarily contemporary romances, and is particularly known for her showbiz novels. Notable works include the showbiz novels The Light (微光) and Those Long Divided Must Soon Be United (分久必合)

8. Yi Zhan Ye Deng

Yi Zhan Ye Deng (一盏夜灯) is another specialist in contemporary romances. Her best known work is probably the age gap romance Feelings Speak for Themselves (桃李不言), which has been adapted into both an audio drama and a manhua.

9. Qing Tang Shuan Xiang Cai

Qing Tang Shuan Xiang Cai (清汤涮香菜, literally: Clear Soup with Coriander) is known for her mostly-fluffy, slice of life contemporary romances. Her best known work is Fascinating (入迷).

10. Shi Wei Yue Shang

Shi Wei Yue Shang (时微月上) she came to the attention of the wider baihe audience with her 2021 infinite flow novel Players, Please Be On Standby (玩家请就位), followed by the transmigration xianxia novel Incantation for Subduing a Dragon (降龙诀).

Honourable mention #1: Tai Yang Jun 

Tai Yang Jun (太阳菌) is a favourite among fans of the wuxia subgenre, which is under-represented within baihe. She is probably best known for the two wuxia novels Jianghu Demolition Squad (江湖拆迁队) and Song of Everlasting Regret (长恨歌), as well as the xianxia novel The Dragon (见龙).

Honourable mention #2: Misterande

Your one-stop shop for dark deranged toxic lesbians, Misterande's best-known work is the dark thriller I'm More Dangerous Than You (我比你危险), featuring a cat-and-mouse game between a serial killer and a writer of suspense novels. The manhua adaptation has an official English translation, which can be read here.

Honourable mention #3: Xiao Bao

Xiao Bao (晓暴), known affectionately as 'CEO Bao' to her fans, has written upwards of 20 novels, most of them featuring high levels of explicit sexual content. Her titles include Bait (诱饵), an omegaverse novel featuring a mostly consensual poly relationship, and A Young Girl's Fancy is as Lovely as a Poem (少女情怀总是诗), featuring a daughter/mother relationship with (at least initial) noncon/dubcon.

For a fuller version of this post, see the DW entry here.

[blueiscoool]

100 Years Ago They Disappeared on Everest. But Did They Make it to the Summit?

It’s one of climbing’s greatest mysteries: was Everest really conquered for the first time in 1953, or did two mountaineers make it to the summit in 1924, before dying in mysterious circumstances?

British climbers George Mallory and Andrew “Sandy” Irvine were last seen on June 8, 1924, 800 feet below the peak, before disappearing into clouds. They never reemerged.

When Mallory’s body was found in 1999, hopes were high that it might give a clue as to whether the pair reached the summit. But, tantalizingly, the camera he had been carrying – with which he would have documented the highest point they had reached – was not on the body. Irvine’s body has never been found.

But now, as the 100th anniversary of the mens’ disappearance approaches, one researcher believes that he has solved mountaineering’s greatest mystery.

By studying the expedition weather reports, author Graham Hoyland believes that he has worked out what happened to the pair – and whether they made it to the summit before they died.

Hoyland – a distant relative of another member of the expedition group, who has visited on Everest nine times searching for the remains – believes that the key to the mystery is air pressure.

His relative several times removed, Howard Somervell – another mountaineer, who had got within 1,000 feet of the summit on the same expedition before a lack of oxygen meant he had to retreat – was responsible for tracking the weather during the expedition.

The smoking gun?

The 1924 expedition, including Irvine and Mallory (top two left), aimed to be the first documented ascent of the mountain.

His records – which he submitted after the official report on the 1924 expedition was made, having returned to his job as a surgeon in India – show that the barometric pressure dropped between the morning of June 8 and June 9 at base camp, where Somervell was taking the readings.

Somervell recorded the pressure in inches of mercury, dropping from 16.25 to 15.98. Hoyland believes that these figures equate to a 10 millibar drop in pressure. Weather-related deaths on Everest are generally associated with a drop in barometric pressure at the summit.

A decrease of just 4 millibars can trigger hypoxia; a 6 millibar drop was enough to cause the incident in 1996 in which 20 people were trapped on the mountain, eight of whom died. That story is recounted in writer Jon Krakauer’s book “Into Thin Air.” The bad weather angle was also explored in a 2010 paper by experts from the University of Toronto, led by G.W. Kent Moore.

“They were climbing into an absolute s***storm – not only a blizzard but a sort of snow bomb,” Hoyland told CNN. Hoyland has experienced “snow bombs” himself on Everest. “It’s terrifying – the temperature drops hugely, you’re gasping for breath. There are winds of 100 knots. One guy I know was blown off the mountain, and ended up further up the mountain,” he said.

Effectively, the drop in air pressure meant that the mountain suddenly became higher – around 650 feet higher, to be precise. Hoyland calls it “an invisible death trap.”

The pair – who were ascending along the northwest ridge – were already climbing against the odds. Mallory wrote in a letter to his wife that he put his chances of making the summit at 50 to one. Hoyland thinks it was more like 20 to one. But, he thinks, they would have had no idea what was about to hit them.

“Mallory had seen Norton and Somervell get to to within 1000 feet of the top on 4 June using no oxygen equipment; it would have seemed reasonable to assume that it was possible to reach the summit with the apparatus,” he writes in a forthcoming book.

“What he didn’t know was that the rapidly falling air pressure was effectively making the mountain even higher.

What’s more, the storm and blizzard wouldn’t just have made a drop in air pressure. The pair were wearing layers of silk, cotton and wool. Hoyland – who had a similar made-to-measure outfit on an Everest trip – says that the clothes are exceptionally comfortable but wouldn’t have provided the warmth to survive a blizzard or an overnight.

Previously, it has been speculated that the pair had reached the summit before dying on the way down, something that Hoyland calls “wishful thinking.”

“I’d been trying to prove that Mallory had climbed Everest for years and years – I wanted to prove that I was the 16th Briton to climb it, not the 15th. But unfortunately when you read facts and they’re different, you have to change your mind. You can’t carry on being a wishful thinker,” he says.

Until Hoyland, nobody had closely studied at the weather reports, which were held at the Royal Geographical Society in London.

The summit was eventually reached by Edmund Hillary, a New Zealand mountaineer, in 1953 – the first documented ascent of the peak.

A century of speculation:

The mystery of Mallory and Irvine has intrigued adventurers for decades.

In 1933, another mountaineer, Percy Wyn-Harris found an ax near the summit. It was assumed to have belonged to Irvine.

In 1936, another mountaineer, Frank Smythe, believed he had seen two bodies in the distance. Using a telescope, he saw them at around 8,100 meters, or 26,575 feet.

And Chinese mountaineer Wang Hongbao believed he saw a body during his 1975 ascent.

Finally, an expedition in 1999, instigated by Hoyland, found Mallory’s body at 26,700 feet –2,335 below the summit.

Hoyland believes that the pair, tethered to each other, slipped while aborting the climb and returning to base camp. He thinks Mallory survived the initial fall, but took another, fatal plunge while staggering back to base camp. Irvine’s body has never been found.

Everest ‘Makes People Mad’:

While some of Mallory’s possessions were still to be found on his body, including a pair of goggles in his pocket – which suggests he was either in darkness or poor visibility – there was no sign of the photo of his wife which he had brought, planning to leave it on the summit.

For decades, researchers have posited that, in lieu of more precise evidence, the lack of photo suggests the pair might have reached the summit and fallen while returning.

However, having reviewed the new evidence, Hoyland believes this is not the case. Expedition reports noted a blizzard hitting the mountain at 2 p.m., he says – long before they could have reached the summit. The lack of photo, he thinks, means nothing. Mallory often forgot stuff, he notes.

In his last letter to his wife – digitized to mark the centenary of his ascent – on May 27, Mallory wrote of “looking out of a tent door onto a world of snow and vanishing hopes: and described it as “a bad time altogether.” Both he and Irvine were unwell, and he wrote that “I’m quite doubtful if I shall be fit enough.”

For Hoyland, who is taking part in an event at the Royal Geographical Society about the centenary, “Everest makes people mad.”

“Mallory became obsessed with the desire to conquer Everest – it would have made him somebody,” he said.

Mallory was a teacher, but moved on the fringes of the Bloomsbury set, a group of British intellectuals, artists and thinkers centered on London in the early 20th century.

“Everyone he knew was a famous novelist or a Nobel prizewinner, and he got captivated by it [the idea of Everest],” he said.

“There’s a dangerous thing called ‘summit fever’ – you see the summit, and you think, ‘Right, it’s death or glory.’ You don’t care if you die.

“I know that feeling. You get completely possessed by this mountain. Mallory was possessed by Everest and it killed him.”

Hoyland, who has since swapped mountaineering for extreme sailing, says that Everest has become “a non-mountaineer’s mountain.”

“There are rich men climbing it as a trophy. I wish it wasn’t the highest,” he said.

“Quite honestly I think the best thing to happen would be if the top 800 feet fell off.

By Julia Buckley.

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

Stats from Movies 101-200

Top 10 Movies - Highest Number of Votes

The Thing (1982) had the most votes with 2,313 votes.

The 10 Most Watched Films by Percentage

Shaun of the Dead (2004) was the most watched film with 69.30% of voters saying they had seen it.

The 10 Least Watched Films by Percentage

The Wicker Man (2006) was the least watched film with 67.02% of voters saying they hadn't seen it.

The 10 Most Known Films by Percentage

Friday the 13th (1980) was the best known film with only 1.04% of voters saying they'd never heard of it.

The 10 Least Known Films by Percentage

The Doll Master (2004) was the least known film with 88.49% of voters saying they'd never heard of it.

The movies part of the statistic count and their polls below the cut.

The Faculty (1998) You're Next (2011) Matriarch (2022) May (2002) Black Christmas (1974) Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) Friday the 13th (1980) Jason X (2001) The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) The Tunnel (2011)

Scream 2 (1997) Climax (2018) Raw (2016) Tusk (2014) A Serbian Film (2010) Waxwork (1988) American Mary (2012) In the Mouth of Madness (1994) The Fog (1980) The Mist (2007)

Ginger Snaps (2000) Scream 3 (2000) House of Wax (1953) Shaun of the Dead (2004) Night of the Living Dead (1968) Basket Case (1982) Malignant (2021) Attack the Block (2011) Insidious (2010) Trick 'r Treat (2007)

The Wolf Man (1941) The Invisible Man (1933) The Invisible Man (2020) Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933) Scream 4 (2011) The Last Broadcast (1998) Dark Water (2002) Dog Soldiers (2002) One Missed Call (2003) V/H/S (2012)

The Houses October Built (2014) Occult (2009) Willow Creek (2013) Savageland (2015) The McPherson Tape (1989) Waxworks (1924) Scream (2022) Possum (2018) Cemetery Man (1994) The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

The Thing (1982) Count Yorga, Vampire (1970) Night of the Lepus (1972) Puppet Master (1989) Gargoyles (1972) From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) The Fourth Kind (2009) Dead Silence (2007) The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972) American Gothic (1987)

Netherworld (1992) The Bad Seed (1956) Satan’s Triangle (1975) The Creeping Terror (1964) The House That Would Not Die (1970) The Wicker Man (2006) Scream VI (2023) From Beyond (1986) Castle Freak (1995) Beyond the Gates (2016)

The Phantom Empire (1987) The Evil Clergyman (1988) Would You Rather (2012) Chopping Mall (1986) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) [REC] (2007) The Bay (2012) Happy Death Day (2017) Happy Death Day 2U (2019) Mayhem (2017)

Child's Play (2019) Freaky (2020) X (2022) Pearl (2022) Possession (1981) Possessor (2020) Hush (2016) Us (2019) Creep (2014) Creep 2 (2017)

The Witch (2015) Eyes Without a Face (1960) The Void (2016) Annihilation (2018) Color Out of Space (2019) The Thing (2011) The Relic (1997) The Doll Master (2004) Hellhole (2022) The Howling (1981)

[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #63: 2012

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Gotye, Carly Rae Jepsen, Fun, Maroon 5, Ellie Goulding, The Wanted, Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, One Direction. End description]

More information about this blog here

We're starting to see the sound of the 2010's differentiating itself from the 2000's. EDM and dance pop is still big, especially that "festival sound". Nicki Minaj's Starships and Rihanna's We Found Love are notable examples of the "wordless chorus" (where the song builds up to a drop or some other kind of musical phrase instead of a traditional chorus) that will continue to shape the decade's musical landscape. We'll also start to see more examples of songs being attributed to the producer in addition to, or in some cases instead of, the vocalist.

But what's especially interesting this year are the new ways artists are being able to grow an audience. Traditional methods of promotion like TV are still present, with Fun's We Are Young gaining widespread popularity from its cover on Glee and One Direction gaining their initial popularity off of The X Factor. But this is the year we're starting to see the trends shifting. While Carly Rae Jepsen was already making a name for herself in the Canadian music scene through her appearance on Canadian Idol, her debut hit Call Me Maybe, started to take off in the States after Justin Bieber tweeted about it. This wasn't the first time a song blew up online, and it wasn't even the biggest this year.

I won't bury the lead: this was the year Psy's Gangnam Style took off worldwide. However, the song is not featured on this poll, because it only made it to number 47 on the Billboard Year-End chart. This is notable for any Korean language song (especially at the time), but for a song that was so universally known and parodied, if feels odd that it wasn't bigger than it was. The reason for that is Gangnam Style became popular through its music video, and Billboard didn't factor YouTube views into their charts at the time. Billboard changed their data collection to include YouTube views later this year. Was it because of Psy? Maybe. But after this year, we'll start to see a lot more instances of songs taking off in part to the performance of their music videos -- even more than the peak of MTV in the 80's.

[rindragon-from-twewy]

Y'all never guess who the brainrot's been about today boiiiis-

Headcannon dump incoming; (spoilers for the ending) (I'm writing these from a post game perspective)

1: the most grandpa pyjamas you've ever seen. Wears his mask to sleep but wears one of those girlie-pop eyemasks with the big fake lashes over top so people know he's asleep (or at the very least, can't see)

2: Rollerskates round his penthouse to pass the time (occasionally), often blasting music through large stereos and his playlist is a terrible mix of classical orchestra and pop from between the 1970's-2010's

3: other hobbies include balloon crafts, card/magic tricks and decorating new masks <3

4: Ofc ik this one isn't real the way I drew it here but I like to think that he was sort of... cattle branded? With the 0001, a forever mark that he is the first and only 'successful' homunculus. Maybe I'd re-place it on the back of his neck? Since we never see there, canonically.

5: His favourite Pokemon is Mewtwo. He cried when he watched the first pokemon movie, balling at the "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are". Like he called up Yuma right after fully sobbing about how "Mewtwo's just like me fr-" and then didn't shut up about it, so much so that Martina got him the shirt I drew him in

6: I feel like he wants friends but is just... deeply socially awkward. Now that all the secrets are out etc etc, he has no real reason to hide anymore but... there's just no real way for him to get out and socialize. It ends up with him considering Yomi's ex-lackeys to be the closest things he has to friends, since I like to believe they all work directly under him now.

7: Coming off number 6, I imagine him going to Yomi's jail cell to vent to him and then intentionally take the opposite of any advice Yomi gives him. This ultimately backfires as sometimes Yomi does actually give good advice simply in hopes it'll stop Makoto from coming back.

8: He doesn't actually know how to look after himself very well. Beyond keeping himself clean, that is. He has people clean his house and do all his cooking, he's got a decent sense of the value of money but doesn't really mind throwing his own saving's about on random whims. Does this mean he tries to buy people's friendships through gifts? Occasionally. Does it work? ...... sometimes!

9: Ok so I assume we're all in agreement that either Makoto or Yuma had to die their hair- I think it's safe to assume Yuma was the one to cut his hair short but I think maybe Makoto's the one to dye it. I think No.1 wouldn't have been dumb enough to go "I know, I'll dye my hair purple, nobody will notice the roots showing and come to the conclusion I erased my memory on perpous!" Cuz he's not that dumb- (I hope-) So, you may be asking. Why blonde? Cuz he's a barbie girl in a barbie world, obviously.

10: So I spent the whole time playing raincode like "Yuma's so kirigiri and naegi's kid or something-" And ofc I knew it'd stay a headcannon and not be real cannon but it's stuck. So yeah, Makoto named himself after who he remembered to be his father. I think, since Makoto wants to be a good person, he called himself after the good-est person he knew at the time.

This isn't all the rot but if u read all that then just know this is all eventually gunna be included in fanfics I plan to write-

I am a writer I promise I just don't have the movitation rn-

[bakanokiwami]

undefined

TOP 10 MOVIE FANDOMS ON AO3 BASED ON NUMBER OF FANWORKS, SINGLE CATEGORY TAGS ONLY VERSION (2009-2022)

If you want to see the Movie bar chart with the multi-category fandom tags (such as Marvel and DCU) included, please check this post.

To make these bar chart race, all series titles in the Movies Category on November 29 (or the closest date to it) of every year were copy-pasted from Wayback Machine to Google Sheets, rearranged according to number of fanworks, manually filtered for fandoms belonging in only one category and then inputted to Flourish to turn into a bar chart race.

Locked fanworks aren't included in the count because Wayback Machine can’t view those, only Ao3 users can.

In 2010, X-Men (Movieverse) was used as a catch-all tag for all X-Men movies. It was replaced with the tag X-Men (Movies) in 2011-2012, and then brought back to the Movies category list again in 2013. I’ve decided to use X-Men (Movies)’s 2011-2012 data for X-Men (Movieverse) since they’re tags for the same purpose and so X-Men (Movieverse)‘s 2010 data would be reflected in the bar chart.

The X-Men (Movies) tag dropped down to half its number of fanworks in 2013 after  X-Men (Movieverse) was brought back. It still remained in the Movies category until 2015, after which it was removed & replaced with X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) instead.

If you don't see a movie franchise on the chart, it may be because the franchise only has a multicategory tag and no Movies category only tag. (E.g. Thor (Movies), HP, variations of Star Trek)

Fandom tags that are no longer in the Movies category tag as of posting this are left out of the bar chart race. These tags are usually either miscategorized or already have other tags referring to the same fandom.

Please refer to this post for more bar chart races.

Thanks for understanding and hopefully I didn’t mess up anywhere! 🙏

[dustedmagazine]

Los Campesinos! — All Hell (Heart Swells)

In a way, 2013’s NO BLUES was the end of a particular version of Los Campesinos! and for reasons that had little to do with their personnel changes over the years since 2006. The septet is far from the first (or last) band to experience the music industry leaving them for dead in a ditch for a lack of profit, and sadly also not the only ones to get one of their best albums caught up in that moment. So, everyone returned to (or got) day jobs and although they never exactly split up, it took some time to determine that, yes, Los Campesinos! was still really going to keep going. But if 2017’s excellent Sick Scenes was proof of concept of Los Campesinos!’s vitality and potential, the new, even more self-motivated ethos has led to both the longest break between albums yet and (recency bias be damned) their strongest LP.

Readers of Dusted don’t need to be reminded that financial success does not necessarily correlate with any particular merit, but that the entirely in house All Hell (self-financed, self-produced, on their own label) wound up as their first UK top 40 record (14 with a bullet!) is at the very least a testament to how many people were waiting for this record and how satisfying they found it. In Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie’s classic music-as-magic comic book Phonogram, one of the main characters describes Los Campesinos! (before they’d even put out a record) to another as “They’re never going to be big big. But they’re going to be big to some people.” Increasingly, it seems that those people have found them. If you go to an LC! show in 2024 fully half or more of the crowd are kids who were not listening to records when Hold on Now, Youngster… came out in 2008, a delightful product of the band just resolutely doing what they do for close to 20 years now.

All Hell is a stirring reminder of what that is, exactly. Their Bandcamp page still describes them as “The UK’s first and only emo band,” and that fine blend of sarcasm, sincerity, standoffishness, insight, and a certain love of starting an argument still sums up some of frontman Gareth David’s authorial voice (although it doesn’t include his incredibly vivid and compelling way with both political and romantic heartache and longing). Guitarist and (here) producer Tom Bromley continues to write incredible songs for David to drop punchlines and emotional haymakers over, and has also burnished this into easily the best sounding Los Campesinos record to date. At this point these seven members have been playing together since 2014 and can turn on a dime and nail pretty much any melodic/emotional register they need to, harsh or comforting, anthemic or plangent.

Fans are likely to draw comparisons to 2010’s Romance Is Boring, often considered a high-water mark. The last three records followed the same straightforward format: 10-11 songs, 40-42 minutes. Romance Is Boring was their most complex, lengthy, and interconnected record, and there’s an ambition here that makes them feel like siblings (possibly partly the result of having more time to build up material). The 15 songs here in just under 50 minutes, with three numbered tracks splitting the record into rough sections, feels sprawling and expansive after the tighter organization of the last few.

You can really feel that extra decade-plus in the structures, songwriting, and sonics of All Hell, but the polish and compositional sophistication here don’t belie a lack of fire. “The Coin-Op Guillotine” is easily the gentlest opener they’ve ever done; there’s bleakness there (“I think I’m right, I don’t think it matters”) but the refrain still centers on the kind of community and solidarity that they’ve been trying to practice from business/concert practices on down: “if you’ve got a cross to bear/call my name, I’ll see you there.” And even there it’s still about our current dystopia, and the title clearly refers to more than just the arcade game.

And sure enough, the following “Holy Smoke (2005)” immediately snarks that “nowadays it’s Live Laugh Love and Listen to Death From Above” over a headlong sprint (one of many places here where drummer Jason Adelinia is a crucial force). Even the magnificent “Feast of Tongues” (which arguably boasts a couple of the band’s best choruses to date), which swells from pensive backing “ooh”s and strings to one of the biggest, hardest hitting climaxes here, specifies that the title refers to when “we will feast on the tongues of the last bootlickers.”

As always, one of the challenges of writing about Los Campesinos! (as well as one of the joys of listening to them) is there are simply too many quotable lines, especially if you’re interested in the ways they refer back to their own history (dropping the “please” from the Romance Is Boring-era “can we all please just calm the fuck down?” as a teeth-gritted acknowledgment of how much less reasonable those they’re addressing have gotten since then) or just a good joke (if, say, “do you still have that one tattoo?/that’s how they work, of course you do” doesn’t work for you, another one will be along soon). And as much as All Hell is rich in the band’s traditional strengths, there are still moments of expansion. The crunching switchbacks of “Clown Blood/Orpheus’ Bobbing Head” are maybe the most aggro they’ve ever been, and the sweetly gloomy “kms” features Kim Paisey taking lead vocals for the first time.

Given the way the last two records have ended with some of their heaviest, weightiest songs, as they kick into the room-levelling angst of “0898 HEARTACHE” it feels like just that sort of crescendo. Instead, All Hell actually ends with the humbler melancholy of “Adult Acne Stigmata.” It’s the closest Los Campesinos! have come to an acoustic ballad, with multi-tracked Gareths sighing “it’s all hell, we know too well/it’s all hell” in the background. From another band, it might risk pathos or bathos; from Los Campesinos, it’s practically comforting. In the midst of inferno, we can all sing, and thrash, along.

Ian Mathers

[asuddensway]

Raf Simons combined fabric tank top

10 Corso Como Seoul edition

S/S 2010