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buckychristwrites · 1 year ago

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When The Rain Gathers | Chapter Two | j.t.

↳ Pairing: Jamie Tartt x f!reader

↳ Word Count: 3.7k

↳ Summary: Pain hits like a downpour, but when a heartbreak from your past is what greets you at your new job at Nelson Road Stadium, it's more like a catastrophic tsunami.

↳ Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Discussion of parental abuse, fluff and angst.

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“Fuck. Focus.”

Jamie paced outside of the door of your new office. The door was open, but the inside was completely bare save a desk, three chairs and a laptop. Due to the impending doom in his brain and the never-ending racing heart in his chest, he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. So, instead of waltzing into the changing room just moments before training was due to start, as he normally would, he was there an hour early, waiting for your arrival.

Hesitantly, he made his way into the empty office. Wherever he waited, he would feel like a shithead, so might as well feel like a shithead with his arse in a seat. It didn’t have any signs of you in it just yet, which made sitting there alone much easier to swallow. It wouldn’t be the same in the future, once the room was covered with your fingerprints and homey touches. He took the seat closest to the window. Heavy rain hit the glass and rooftop, making sure to echo throughout the entire building. It made him think of the drive in front of his mum’s house back home, and a little red car packed with luggage.

Blinking, he looked away.

“Jamie?”

He turned to find Dr. Fieldstone at the doorway. Her hand was on the frame as she stared at him.

“You alright, Doc?” He asked, shifting so he could comfortably face her. She took a glance around the room in obvious confusion.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. He took a glance around himself, realising how silly this must’ve looked.

“Got an appointment this mornin’,” He said. It was a lie. But him feigning confusion was the only sort of explanation he could come up with. Sharon shook her head.

“Your appointment would be with me, but I don’t have you on my schedule.”

This made Jamie scrunch his face up in confusion.

“I thought…” He pointed to the desk. “I thought she…” Before he could continue with his thought, Sharon shook her head. It was like she read his mind.

“Your appointments will continue with me,” She explained. “I was informed there’s a… conflict of interest.” She tilted her head to the side thoughtfully.

He wondered how much you had told Sharon. Did she know everything? Did you tell her what he did? The kindness on her face suggested that she didn’t have a clue, but then again, it’s her job to pretend to be nice to him, wasn’t it?

He brought a hand to his face, running it across his forehead. Of course Sharon wasn’t being nice because it’s her job. That was just his mind running away from him.

“Don’t get yourself worked up, Jamie,” She assured him. “We’re not allowed to treat people we know. It’s just not ethical. Nothing more than that.” He released his held breath. Giving him a knowing look, she leaned forward into the room, lowering her voice. “You can tell me why you think it’s about more than that at your appointment… tomorrow.”

Oh man. She is good.

Dr. Fieldstone did not loiter, just gave him a final look before walking back to her office. Jamie remained seated as he ran a hand down his face.

He tried to think of literally anything else, but when he looked outside at the rain again, all it did was bring back more memories of you.

Every second that he was awake since the revelation yesterday, which had been a lot more time than he would’ve liked, he was on the brink of a complete mental breakdown. At this moment in your office, he found himself preemptively doing his grounding techniques.

“I see and feel this desk,” He muttered to himself. He placed his other hand on the chair. “I feel this chair. I see a white wall. I see the…the rain…”

What am I going to do without you?

“God dammit.” Resisting the urge to punch something, he ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe he should just go down to the changing room and get ready for training. Did this conversation really have to happen right now, this early morning? Maybe it could wait, at least until after training.

But it couldn’t. Jamie knew that well enough. It was already affecting him at home, keeping him up at night. Lord only knows how it would hurt him during training, if he didn’t get it out of the way. And if he fucked up on the pitch, Roy Kent would have his balls.

He knew the only way to move on was to open the door to communicate, and the only person to do it had to be the one who closed that door in the first place. Him.

“Thank god me appointment is tomorrow,” Jamie muttered to himself as he grabbed his phone from his pocket, opening Instagram to pass the time.

“No, mum, I don’t have any appointments today,” You said into your phone speaker as you drove down the road. “It’s my first day. I think I’ll just be signing paperwork and going over policies. All that general stuff.” Behind you came a loud giggle, and when you glanced in the rearview, you caught Ivy hitting her hand against the window. She had always loved the rain, which she couldn’t have learned from you. The rain was your worst enemy.

“Did ya see Jamie Tartt?” Your mum asked, trying to sound casual. You stared out the windscreen, wondering why she would do this right now. All it did was force you to revisit the anger you had felt all of last night that she didn’t warn you of his place on the team.

“Yes, I saw Jamie,” You sighed.

“Did you kick him in the fuckin’ balls for me?”

This made you laugh. “No, unfortunately, my new boss who’s kind of scary was right there.” From the other side of the phone, you could hear her mutter something incoherent before she responded.

“Please do, when you get the chance, love.”

As you pulled into the car park of Nelson Road Stadium, Ivy let out another laugh. You could see the car of your babysitter waiting for you.

“Alright, mum, I gotta go,” You said as you turned the car off. “Love you. I’ll phone later.”

“Love you, darlin’,” She said. “Give Ives a kissie from her nan.”

“Will do.” Ending the call, you stuffed the phone in your pocket before grabbing your bag and climbing out of the car. When you opened the door to the backseat, Ivy was focused on the stuffed teddy on her lap. “Alright, love. Are you ready to go with the babysitter?”

Ivy furiously shook her head.

“No, please.”

You knew it would be hard. She had loved her babysitter back in the United States. Ivy wasn’t the type to become accustomed to strangers quickly, and you worried about the young girl behind you, who was climbing out of her car just as you undid Ivy’s seatbelts.

“Thank you for meetin’ me here!” Shannon called to you as she shut the car door and made her way over. “My mum needed help with somethin’, and it was faster to meet you than to race home.”

You glanced over towards her car, spotting the car seat that was similar to Ivy’s. A sigh of relief fell from your chest. At least you didn’t have to transfer the car seat over to her car.

“I should be thanking you,” You said as Ivy curled into your shoulder. “I know it’s last minute but I needed someone fast.” Shannon leaned her head towards Ivy, sending a wave her way. Though the toddler didn’t completely hide her face, she didn’t reciprocate the gesture, either.

“Hello, Ivy,” She said delicately.

You set your daughter down on the cement. She pressed herself into your legs before looking up at the sky. For a moment, she seemed to forget the fear, her little hands reaching up as she smiled at the clouds. It was hard not to watch when she got like this. You had never seen any toddler behave like this about anything, so of course it would be yours who would have such a delightful, intense love for something.

“She loves the rain,” You explained to Shannon, who was looking at her in awe and confusion. “I’ve never met a toddler more obsessed.”

Shannon kneeled down to Ivy’s level, her eyes warm and friendly. “I like the rain too. Would you like to be friends, Miss Ivy?” Ivy clearly was debating this, looking up at you for reassurance. You gave her a little nudge with a smile.

“I like Shannon,” You told her. “I think you’ll like her too. But you do have to go with her.”

Ivy’s gaze found Shannon again as you guided her to the young girl. With all of the hesitation in the world, when Shannon offered her hand, Ivy took it but not before throwing you an unsure glance.

“Maybe we can jump through puddles for a little bit before going back to the house!” Shannon suggested excitedly. “Would you like that?” Ivy’s eyes seemed to glaze over, and then she was jumping up and down in excitement. You sighed in relief as you kneeled down to say goodbye to your daughter.

“I love you, babe,” You said to her, giving her a kiss and hug, which she lovingly returned. “Mummy’ll pick you up after work, okay?”

“Love you, mummy!” She shouted as you stood up.

As Ivy turned to face Shannon, you grabbed a box of belongings for your office out of the backseat of your car. From what you could tell, as far as first meetings go, Ivy was doing incredibly well. Better than you had expected, considering the stress of the move and the new environment. Although, leaving her with babysitters never got any easier. You wished it were possible to just bring her to work with you. Having an adorable, therapy toddler would be perfect for the players.

Well. Except the one you wanted nowhere near her.

You gave them a quick wave before making your way inside. When you threw one last look over your shoulder, you found that Ivy had already found the largest puddle she could, jumping into it and sending water scattering. The anxiety in your chest was replaced with ease. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

The security guard waved you through without looking up from his computer. It was livelier this morning than it had been the previous day, with people shuffling down the hallways in packs. As you quickly walked in the direction that Rebecca had shown you to get to your office, you kept your head down. The first day jitters were hitting you hard at this moment. Sounds seemed to fade as you made your way up the stairway towards your office. The idea of being alone for even a moment before you started working with Sharon sounded just heavenly.

You froze at the top of the steps, your eyes quickly spotting the presence waiting for you.

He was wearing a hat that boldly said I,COG. The brim covered his face as he looked down at his phone, but you knew it was him. You inhaled sharply before taking another step forward.

“Well, this isn’t quite the welcome wagon I had wanted.”

Jamie jumped out of the seat, his phone clattering to the floor. Without looking at him, you crossed into the room and rounded the desk, so you were on the opposite side as him. His eyes followed you the whole way, your chest burning in anxiety. This was the last thing you had expected, let alone wanted, to happen when you walked into Nelson Road Stadium that morning. You set the box of your things on your desk before letting your hands rest on your hips.

“Fuck,” He muttered as he snatched his phone off the floor. The red in his cheeks and the disgruntled look on his face told you everything you needed to know. He was dreading this conversation just as much as you were.

“What can I do for you?” Your voice was professional as you tried to put a wall up between yourself and him. Jamie stared at you before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“I just…Well…” He sighed. “I thought we should… talk.”

You let out a prolonged “Oh…” with the corners of your mouth ticking upwards in a smile, but it wasn’t a kind one. The professionalism you had been forcing was quickly melting away.

“A bit late for this talk,” You said, your eyes staring at the ceiling in thought. “Let’s see… about three years! Yeah, three years too late.” It was hard to keep your anger level down, as it was already boiling over in your chest. The heat that rose up your neck and into your cheeks was intense.

Jamie shook his head. “You have every right to be angry-“

“Well, thank fuck that I have your permission to be angry. No idea what I would do without it.”

Jamie’s hands gripped at the strap of his bag like he was holding on for dear life. You could see his nails were down to the nubs. You couldn’t help but wonder; When did he start biting them again? Pushing the thought away, you scolded yourself for caring.

Part of you felt bad for the sarcasm, but you couldn’t help it. Before starting this line of work, you were the most sarcastic person there was, and seeing Jamie brought out parts of you that you hadn’t visited in a long time.

It felt like you had jumped into one of your daydreams. The dreams of finally getting to tell Jamie off for the turmoil he caused. In some of them, you were angrier, throwing things and screaming in his face. In others, you were indifferent to him, examining your nails as he begged for forgiveness at your feet. Now that the moment was here, the reality was it felt like it was a combination of a lot of things. The biggest emotion you felt, however, was just pain. Simply looking at him caused your chest to ache.

For Jamie, however, all he felt was guilt, and waves and waves of devastation. Simply looking at you reminded him of his past failures, of the man his father had turned him into. The man he had been working so hard to stop being. When he would dream of this moment, he never imagined you’d forgive him, so at least you were following the script.

“Can I just explain-“

“I don’t want an explanation,” You said firmly, waving your hand. “I just want to come in, do my job, and leave. I didn’t ask for any of this.” He glanced around the room as he carefully considered his next words.

“Did- did ya know? That I play here?” He asked slowly. You had begun pulling papers out of the box when he spoke, and you dropped a pad of paper down quite loudly on top of the desk, causing Jamie to flinch.

“Yeah, Jamie,” You said, rubbing one of your eyes with a fist. “I not only continued to follow your career after you fucking dropped off the face of my world, but I decided to uproot my entire life and move back here from the other side of the Earth and take a job at this football club specifically just because you play here. And I did all of that because I’m still hopelessly in love with you, and am trying to win you back.”

Jamie cocked a head as he stared at you. Though he should've been focusing on your words, regardless of how malicious they were, he was trying to pinpoint what was so different about you. A long moment passed before he spoke again.

“Your accent is different.”

He could tell the statement caught you off guard, as your breath hitched in your throat.

“The Americans got to me.” It sounded rehearsed, and he wondered how your proud Mancunian mum handled hearing you talk these days.

The two of you stared at each other in stunned silence. His eyes wandered until something in the box on the desk caught his eye. A small figure with deep brown hair and familiar looking eyes. Taking a step forward, he reached for a picture frame that was on top.

“Who’s-“

You snap the lid shut, almost catching the tips of his fingers.

“What right do you have to know?” You asked, your voice cold. “What right do you have to know anything about me anymore?”

He heard it. The quiver in your voice. The falter in your hard exterior. It was disarming. This felt so much different than any other anger you had ever directed towards him. In all of the years he had known you, you had never shut him out like this before. He didn’t know how to take it.

He conceded. “I guess I don’t.”

“Great,” You said with reformed confidence. “Glad we agree. Now get the fuck out of my office.” Without wasting another second, you turned away from him, as if your heart wasn’t drowning in devastation. Instead, you kept pretending that it was fire in your chest.

He hovered as you began to unpack the box once more. When you set out the picture frame he had reached for, you had angled it so he couldn’t see who was in the photo. Briefly, he considered trying to look at it again, now that it was out in the open, but he didn’t. The last thing he wanted to do was make you angrier than you already were. Instead, he turned, and made his way out the door and down the stairs.

The changing room was well and alive when Jamie entered. Laughter and conversation greeted him like an old friend. He made his way to his locker with his head down. Though some hellos were tossed his way, he didn’t return them. His head was spinning too much to speak.

“Oi.”

Jamie turned to find Roy Kent making his way towards him. He sat down on the bench next to where Jamie had set his bag down.

“Did you talk to her?” He kept his voice low to avoid the nosey teammates from overhearing. Jamie scratched his nose.

“Erm yeah. We talked.”

“And how did it go?” Roy sounded surprisingly curious, and, though anyone knew he would never admit it, concerned.

Jamie shook his head before saying, “Fuckin’ awful, mate.”

“I think it went as well as expected,” You said into your phone. In the heat of the moment after Jamie had left the room, you did the first thing you could think of to clear your head: Call your mum.

“Did ya…” She hesitated, and you knew whatever she was about to say next wouldn’t be something you liked. “Did ya tell him? About Ivy?” I sigh heavily, the breath forcing its way out of my chest.

“Of course not.”

“He needs to know, love,” Your mum said softly. “Is he a right prick? Of course. But he deserves to know that he’s her-“

“Don’t say it, please.” With your free hand, you rub one of your eyes. You smack it down against the wooden desk before speaking again. “I’ll tell him when I’m ready.” You heard her laugh softly, making you wonder if she was trying to hide it from you.

“The longer ya wait, the harder it will be, d’ya know what I mean?”

“Yes, mum.” There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and then you heard a sigh come through the phone.

“You need to call me more so you can start talkin’ like a Mancunian again,” She scolded. “Can’t stand this new pseudo-American accent on you.” You shook your head in annoyance.

“Okay, bye mum,” You said, hanging up before she could say anything else. The phone made a loud noise when you tossed it across your desk. Resting your head in your hands, you let out a loud sigh. The day was not starting how you would’ve liked.

A gentle knock at the door forced you to look up. Sharon walked into the room with a laptop and a giant binder. Across the spine read “Policies and Procedures.” She was eyeing you, but you couldn’t read her expression. As easy as it was to read everyone else, you clocked Sharon as the type who could hide herself away very well.

“You ready to get started?” She asked, sitting down in the chair that Jamie had previously been sitting in. Inhaling deeply in an effort to appear calm, you nod.

“Of course.”

Out of the binder, Sharon pulls a stack of papers.

“These are just the standard tax forms and policy agreements.”

Without audibly responding, you take the stack and begin to flip through them. The room was silent besides the rain that continued to fall. It was hard to focus, as Jamie’s face kept appearing in your mind. Rope in the fact that you were being watched by someone who could professionally read people, and the struggle was intensely real.

“So…” Sharon started in a casual voice. “You and Jamie Tartt.”

You glanced up in surprise. It was entirely unexpected for her to bring up. Sharon had a knowing smile on her face, the epitome of innocence. She didn’t wait for you to respond before speaking again.

“What’s the story there?”

You think about her question. To say something. To not say something. Without meaning to, your eyes fall on the photo of Ivy that now sat on your desk. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Sharon following your gaze to the frame, though she couldn’t see who was pictured on the other side.

“It’s a long one,” You tell her as your eyes fall back to the paperwork. She leans back in the seat.

“Well, I’d love to hear it sometime,” She said in her gentle tone, a hint of curiosity. “If the look on Jamie’s face this morning, or your demeanour right now are any indicator, I’d say it’s certainly an interesting one.”

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mydisenchantedeulogy · 11 months ago

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Dying Light [Chapter Two] Room to Breathe [Bi-Han/Sub-Zero]

A/n: I want to thank everyone for the lovely support and kind words going into the first chapter. I appreciate it so much.

Warning(s): dread, female reader, arranged marriage trope, Bi-Han being Bi-Han, breakdown, overwhelmed reader, tears.

Taglist: @genesiswrld @cherryblossomly @dilf-destroyer-04 @louis2gobrrn @umbransister

No Minors Allowed!!

The sweet and earthy aroma of dumplings and oven-baked flatbread reminds you that breakfast is near. For the first time, you are dreading it.

Though it is a surprise to you, when you wander into the dining room, that Bi-Han is not among your immediate family. He must have chosen to eat alone. This you take comfort in, however, your parents and their gauging stares, do not make the dread stirring inside you disappear.

You sit on the opposite side of the table in front of your mother and before long, the servants bring out a small spread of breakfast foods; congee, eggs, dumplings, and a variety of flat breads. You awkwardly fill your plate and begin to eat, grimacing as a stab of pain from your busted lip suddenly overtakes you.

The minor injuries that you sustained from the previous day's spar look much worse today. A bruise is slowly developing across your cheek and chest, and the split in your lip looks raw; an eyesore that your mother points out.

“You do not look well, daughter,” she mentions.

“It looks worse than it feels,” you assure her.

It is the high price of making your clan look good, nothing more.

Eating in silence, you witness a strange look your mother gives your father. You raise a brow.

“Is there something wrong?”

Your father hums. He takes a moment to drink his tea before he answers, clearing his throat.

“Due to unpredicted circumstances, I can not show Bi-Han to the training court today. It was his wish to watch our fighters train.”

That is unfortunate, you reckon. You sigh. So he is sold on this merger after all.

“It will do you some good to bond with your husband-to-be,” your mother states, cutting in. “Show him the compound.”

Is she serious? You give your father a curious look, but he merely nods, agreeing with her. As much as you want to decline, you know that it is unwise.

“I will take him.”

Your mother grins proudly.

“I am pleased to hear that. Bi-Han took an interest in you.”

Did he? You glance at your father.

“What did he say?”

“He was irked that I did not tell him prior about your capability with magic, but overall, he was curious about you.”

Even so, you are not sure what to make of this. What it means in the grander scheme of things is that you are not as insignificant as he had thought. Still, your future with Bi-Han is hazy. What will he expect of you now? You are not sure you want to know.

“Where is he?” You ask with a sigh.

“The servants prepared him a room in the eastern wing of the house. He should be there, having breakfast,” your mother answers.

Then there is no need to rush him. You take your time to eat, and then when you are done, you sigh in apprehension.

Might as well get this over with.

Excusing yourself from the table, you wait for permission, then you stand and walk toward the front door. The Eastern wing is easier to get to via the inner courtyard, so you leave the main house and walk to the entrance.

Normally, the Eastern wing is where the fighters reside; the Western wing houses the servants and their families. So it is no surprise to you when you approach the far end of the wing that several Lin Kuei assassins are on guard. You wander past them with no problem, but you can feel their eyes burning holes into you.

Approaching the door to Bi-Han’s room, you knock softly. A moment later, he permits you to enter, and you do so hesitantly.

The said Grandmaster is seated at a low table in the center of the room. His breakfast has been eaten, leaving nothing but a steaming kettle of tea in front of him. However, the thing that draws your attention is that Bi-Han is without his mask. His angular face and sharp features, despite his obvious scowl, are attractive qualities.

“Is there something you want?”

His tone makes you frown. You avert your eyes.

“My father was meant to escort you to the training court, but unforeseen preparations have delayed him. He asked that I do it instead.”

Bi-Han hums. He takes a drink from his cup and then stands, brushing off his loose-fitting robe.

“Let us go.”

Without a word, you leave the room and lead him from the Eastern wing to the inner courtyard on the Southwestern side of the compound. The court is on the far end of the wing in a square-shaped field.

Standing off to the side near the inner wall, you wait in silence next to Bi-Han as he spectates. The fighters are in sync, practicing kicks and punches as a teacher orders them. Your master is off to the side, watching in satisfaction as her style is passed on.

You can not fathom her pride, though perhaps one day you will know what it feels like if you have students of your own.

That is not a guaranteed possibility anymore.

Not after you marry Bi-Han.

You turn your eyes to him and take in his curious expression as he watches. When he catches you unexpectedly, his brows knit. You sigh.

“It is nearly time for them to spar.”

This is awkward. You do not know how you are meant to bond with a man so high-handed and reserved. What do you even talk about? Fighting? Your interests? You scoff. Of course not.

“It is no concern of mine your inner protests,” Bi-Han states. “However, they are irksome.”

You tighten your jaw. This man is exhausting.

“It was not my intention to involve you in them.”

“Speak your mind,” he orders.

For someone not concerned, he is rather curious. You can not help your irritation.

“I'm sure there are far better clans to merge with.”

“But none so willing,” Bi-Han states without a moment of hesitation.

He is right about that. You can not be mad about something true. Though, you do not have to agree with it.

“I don't share my parent's sentiments.”

Bi-Han turns his eyes to you and then averts them. Whatever he has on his mind, he does not share. After a moment, he crosses his arms and hums.

“It is a shame to waste potential like your masters. She would benefit the Lin Kuei.”

You hum, feeling less annoyed. Looking across the field at your master, you frown.

“Time has a way of weakening us all. Passing our teachings onto others is what keeps our principles alive. She is at peace knowing that her martial arts will live on.”

“You learned from her, did you not?”

You nod.

“How to fight, yes. When I was a child. She saw potential in me that I did not…and she was right.”

“Your clan does not seem to know magic, yet you wield it. Did her teachings help you to utilize your chi?”

You recall her telling you about this. Humans can learn magic, but it takes concentration and special training; the likes that she is not capable of.

Is it really that impressive to Bi-Han? You feel almost elated by this.

Reaching down to your side, you grab the amulet and allow him to take a closer look at it.

“My magic comes from this. There is a tale that derived from my clan about a sorceress from Outworld, it is the reason we know of it. The tale goes that she put her magic essence into the amulet and came here to aid a warrior, one she foresaw would rise to be a great champion.”

“And you are this prophesied one?” Bi-Han asks with a skeptical look.

You snort. No, you do not think you are.

“I'm no great champion, but I was able to utilize its magic better than anyone before me, so until someone comes along who better uses it, I will remain the owner of the Amulet of Damashi.”

“I have not heard of this Damashi,” Bi-Han states with a raised brow. “How does it work?”

You honestly have no idea, and even if you did, there are some secrets better left unsaid. Opting to remind your soon-to-be husband about this, the sound of someone addressing you by name halts you.

Your father offers you a pleased look.

“I thought you were delayed, Father.”

He hums.

“I have done all I can for today, so I am here to relieve you.”

It was not as bad as you had expected, though it could have been better. You smile.

“Then I will join the others.”

“Before you do, there is an important matter your mother needs to speak with you about. She is in the dining room,” your father tells you.

What is the important matter? You are curious. Turning your eyes to Bi-Han you offer him a polite smile.

“Please excuse me. We will continue this conversation later.”

Bi-Han agrees with a brief nod.

Hastily, you saunter back across the courtyard to the main house, forcing the awkward events of the day to the back of your mind. There are much more important matters at hand.

As said, your mother awaits your company.

“Sit for a moment,” she orders while motioning in front of her.

As you eagerly do so, she sets a scroll out on the table and unfolds it. You raise a curious brow.

“This is your marital contract,” she discloses. “It was written and signed by your father and the former Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei many years ago.”

You were not aware that there was a contract made. It makes sense though. Written, it is certified, not merely a verbal agreement.

“What does it entail?” You ask curiously.

“That our two families are to become one. A list of stipulations was written, but that does not concern you,” she answers. “What does, is the upcoming ceremony, which will take place tomorrow afternoon.”

Tomorrow. Is she serious? That is too sudden.

“That…doesn't follow tradition,” you state.

Your mother frowns.

“Not entirely no, but times have changed. And at least some of the etiquettes have been fulfilled. We received the Betrothal Letter many years ago. The former Grandmaster came to us with the proposal and yesterday your father set the date with Bi-Han over tea.”

So he knew. He agreed for the ceremony to be so soon. You honestly feel a bit overwhelmed. It's like the walls are closing in on you bit by bit.

“I am not ready for this,” you admit.

What happened to a fair warning?

“Leave the preparations to me. While it is last minute, I have it under control,” your mother states.

She almost sounds eager, but preparations are not what concerns you.

“I…I need a moment to think.”

Your mother sighs.

“This ceremony is taking place nonetheless, so have your moment, but as of tomorrow, you will need to put aside your issue for the sake of the clan.”

You tighten your jaw. This sake of the clan nonsense is getting on your last nerve. All it boils down to is the comfort of your parents as they sign over their future and yours.

Standing, you storm out of the room and to the balcony overlooking the garden. As soon as you are alone, your control crumbles.

“Perhaps you should marry him if you are so damn desperate. Does what I feel not matter? Do I not matter?”

Angry tears sting your eyes, turning the world into a saturated blur.

You growl in frustration. Despite wanting to take your frustrations out on something, you force yourself to calm down, sitting on your knees in the doorway.

I can't do this to myself, not now. I have to be strong.

With an uneasy sigh, you wipe the tears from your face.

“It's fine. I'm fine,” you tell yourself.

It's a lie.

The truth is you are tired and angry of being made to feel unimportant despite trying your best to take control of your life.

Tomorrow you might feel better - you doubt it - but as of tonight, you just need to be alone.

#mortal kombat fandom #bi han x reader #female reader insert #mortal kombat fanfiction #arranged marriage au #pre-mortal kombat 1 #bi han mk1 #mortal kombat 1 fanfiction

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mintmatcha · 2 years ago

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i feel like it's the beginning of izuku having some kind of breakdown. he can't function and he hadn't seen his mom in so long and how could he just pretend it didn't happen for a tv interview and he doesn't want to be a hero anymore and--

that realization is like a punch to the skull and has him full-blown hyperventilating and trying to figure out where it went wrong, how he let everything get out of hand but who can replace him but he doesn't care but he has to care

the thoughts are racing and for the first time in a long time he's frozen in fear, and the tears start to come and it burns and hurts in a way he hasn't felt in a long, long time

(im not great at angst but djdjdjdjd ur izuku is making me lose it)

continued from this (cw for parental loss)

Swallowed by a pile of unfolded sheets and mostly dry blankets, Izuku can barely manage to look up at you. The suit you had pressed for his television appearance is crumpled behind him, tucked up and under his elbows, uncomfortably trapping his arms close to his sides, but he doesn't move. He lays there, watching the stationary ceiling fan as if it has the answers he’s looking for.

Every other time Izuku has been in your bed, it's been for sex, but now there's no sheen of sweat on his skin, no tickle of a genuine smile; his skin is pale with grief, stricken physically sick from anguish, a misery clinging so tightly to him that you feel it yourself, gripping your heart tighter with every beat.

He had disappeared immediately after his interview, gone before you could even think what to do. It took hours to track him down, calls to friends who hadn’t heard the news and visits to his usual haunts.

Any other day, you might tease him for breaking in with your spare key, tease him for not even folding your laundry, but today you offer the little peace you contain.

"Are you okay?" you ask as you approach, even though you know the answer. Deku calls you his 'fixer', the person who keeps things running smoothly from behind the scenes, but this is something you can't repair.

"My mom died," he repeats, voice brittle with disbelief.

"I know." You sit on the edge of the bed and hesitate for a long while, contemplating exactly what to do. You can't fix this. You can't make this better. "I’m sorry."

"I know." The stillness of it all, how his chest barely rising with every breath, how the street outside in silent, how you can’t bring yourself to move, haunts you. If you don’t do anything, maybe it’ll be like this forever, suspended in a moment neither of you wants to remember.

So, you inch closer to him.

“Sit up for me.” You tug him up by the shoulders, guiding him up into a sitting position. Izuku is still oddly like a rag doll, letting you move his arms where they need to be as you guide his suit jacket off his body, dropping it into the pile below you. Once it’s gone, you begin with his cuffs. Yucking your thumbs under the linen and caressing the soft skin there, you feel the scars from his youth. raised yet dormant, phantom pains sometimes still rumbling under the surface with rain is on the way.

When you drop the cuff links into the floor and begin on the front placket, Izuku seems to gather himself. His hands settling on your thighs, no playful squeeze or tender stroke. Just a simple touch to feel you there.

His voice reverberates in your hands as you undo the collar’s button. It’s a shiny, opalescent white, a stark contrast against the black of his shirt. Real mother-of-pearl, the salesman had told you, made from oyster shells. "Am I a good person?"

That question haunts you, doesn’t it?

You undo the next unbutton. His white undershirt is practically threadbare and it reeks of cigarette ash, something different from his usual brand. There might be a tinge of alcohol on his breath, but you can't quite tell.

You’re good to a fault, good to the point it’s bad for everyone around you.

Another button and you can see the dark curve of a scar across his sternum, still hyperpigmented because it hasn’t had time to fade. In the right light, you can even make out the remains of stitches under the surface, yet to dissolve.

You’re so good it’s almost killed you.

Another button. It’s as smooth and cold as it was before it was cut, nestled in some poor mollusc that didn’t know any better.

“Sometimes I wish you were less good,” you murmur.

I think you’d be happier then.

"I haven't visited her in months," Izuku lets his head roll to the side as if it takes too much will to keep it up. His curls are held in place by too much hairspray, practically defying gravity as he talks, mumbling under his breath the same way he does when he’s analyzing data: even and scarily calm. "Ahe texts me every day, but I'm busy, I’m so busy, I’m-"

The hitch in his voice surprises both of you.

“There’s not enough time.” He helps you shrug off his dress shirt and his hands return to your sides, clutching your much tighter this time. “I don’t have enough time, there isn’t enough time to do it all, I'm only one person.”

His voice stays even and distant, but his hands are trembling as they close tighter, thumbs digging into the soft inside your hipbones. The pressure aches, then hurts, growing with every word.

“How am I supposed to do everything?” he mumbles, “I can’t be a hero and a person, I can’t be a hero and a partner, a hero and a son-”

"Izuku-" You think he might crush you without even realizing what’s happening. His palms are squeezing, fingers digging, all of it so tight you can’t wiggle away even when you try.

"I don't want this anymore, I don't want to live this life,” Izuku’s voice cracks again, “I don’t want- I don’t-

His eyes seem so verdant against their red rims. "I chose television over my mom."

“Izuku.” Your hands find his face, cupping his cheeks and pleading for his attention. “You’re hurting me.”

The pain unfurls when he lets go, blood rushing back to damaged skin. It’s going to bruise and you’re going to feel the hurt with every step.

"I'm sorry, I didn’t-" he watches his palms as if they can offer him any explanation. The skin under your touch smudges and you realize his screen make up is still on; you drag your touch down, exposing new seas of freckles, dark and bountiful. When your hand trail to the curve of his jaw, his throat bobs with a slow swallow, once then twice.

“I know you didn’t.” And with that, you crumble into each other. Izuku buries his head into the soft below your collar bone, dragging you less than gently into his lap. You wrap yourself around him as tight as you can muster and yet it doesn't feel like enough.

"You have to let go," Izuku sighs after a long while, "I'm afraid you're gonna see me cry."

You slink off of the bed toward the door and he tenses with every step, muscles bunching with worry and self restraint. You give him once last glance before you turn off the light. You've seen him nude before but never so bare.

You can find him in the dark, arms extended, open and demanding like he needs you, even if he doesn't want you. Pressed up against you, you can feel what you can't see: the wobble of his lip, the wet against his cheek.

"I thought it was so annoying to have her text me every day," he whispers, voice barely pieced together through its cracks and gives, "And now I want is one more. One more text."

His body hiccups with a sob, silent before he lets go completely. It's ugly. It's snot and anguish, nonsense pleads to someone and no one, anger, grief, and emotions you aren't sure have names.

You hold him. That's the only thing you can do. This isn't a cross you can bare for him.

#content.cold #sad deku au

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mythea-arts · 6 months ago

Text

Sixth Moon - A Trigun Fanfiction

Vash The Stampede / Original Female Character

_________________________

Book 1 - Meteor

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️ :

Angst, Violence, Gore, Panic Attacks, Mental Breakdown, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Anxiety, References to Depression

✨️Summary✨️:

Space Year 0097

Vash definitely did not expect a girl to fall from the sky right in front of him.

Making it his responsibility to find her a place to stay and to maybe uncover some of her lost memories and mysteries on the way, he lets her tag along. But things always go wrong for Vash the Stampede and she stays in his presence far longer than anticipated.

How is he supposed to handle the friendship they soon start to share?

Updates: Mon/Fri every week

___________________

Chapter 1 - Making wishes on shooting stars- wait. Is thAT A GIRL?!

Vash just wanted to eat his sandwich, when the bandits rolled into town.

He sat at one of the tables the shop had set up outside at the edge of town, when the car drifted around the corner. Some really ugly guys looking out of the windows, while waving their revolvers and another on the top with a semi automatic rifle in his hand.

And he might have been able to save his sandwich, if it wasn’t for the little boy playing a few feet away from him. Tugging the young child under his arm he dodged the car at the last second, jumping to the side.

The tables and chairs of the shop went flying through the air. And so was his extra cheesy double cheese and ham sandwich.

To say he was annoyed would have been an understatement. Wasting precious resources, endangering a child and taking away his snack? This turned serious really quick.

They were heading towards the city's bank.

Bringing the sobbing child over to it’s parents after checking if he was unhurt and accepting their thanks with a smile and a wave of his hand, he turned and headed for his newfound enemies of the day.

It took him not one, not two but exactly half a minute to make the bandits flip, shoot at him, blasting their own car in the process and emptying their magazines into the wall that he was hiding behind. After berating them for their reckless behaviors and letting them get him a new snack, they were taken into custody by the town’s sheriff.

Word spread fast in the small town and within half an hour he was celebrated in the saloon, drowning beer after beer with his new buddies and two really nice looking lady’s swooning around him.

A tie around his head, which he did not remember having there when the party started, he had stumbled out of the saloon, arms in arms with Marvin. Or Melvin. Or was this Viktor? His new best friend!

It was already dark. The day had passed and Vash needed to leave soon, before his bad luck caught up to him and some other kind of disaster hit the town. One he couldn’t stop as easily.

He was bringing Viktor or Melcom or Vincent towards what the slurring man was pointing at, assuming it to be his home. Vash was sneaking across the town's square when he started hearing the shouts from behind him, wondering where he went and starting to search for the gunman. After knocking at the door and leaving Marco with his not so happy wife, he started his walk back to the inn he was staying at.

A shabby looking house with even shabbier rooms and beds that were barely better than a rock. But neither did he need more nor did he deserve much of an upgrade. And the other sites to crash in this city were out of his budget anyway.

Before he could turn around the last corner on his way, he heard voices in front of the building. The women from before were there, wondering why such a skilled and pretty shot like himself was staying in this hutch. They wanted to take him back to the saloon and let him sleep there. In their company one might add..

Not in the mood to deal with them and already feeling a growing headache, he slipped back into the shadows of the night. It was an offer he would have loved to take in another life. A shame really.

And so he wandered around for a while, the chilling air of the night surrounding him. Maybe he should just take a moment to himself- he had been running from town to town without much of a break the last few months. He had heard some rumors back in November and tried to follow his new lead without much preparation.

It was the end of space year 0097 and he had picked up, that a certain Dr. William Conrad might still be alive and working with plants building his riches under a pseudonym. So he had set out in the direction of Octovern where a Plant had been saved by the hands of an incredibly talented specialist last year, who seemed to know just a tad too much about lost tech for him to be a normal man. It wasn’t the first time he had a lead like this - but it was his best till now.

The night might have been chilly, but the sky was quite the sight tonight. All five moons were visible to some degree and a worm swarm was glowing in the distance.

Vash decided to head for one of the rock formations just by the city and spent some time admiring the view.

Settling on a part of the cold stone, taking in the view in the opposite direction of the buildings.

He was almost dozing off, the tie still hanging over his face, when he saw a small spark.

As if the night sky decided that it could be even more mesmerizing, a shooting star flew over the sky, flashing and twinkling a little and then vanishing.

And then another. And another.

Shooting stars were rare. Normally the moons would shield the planet's atmosphere from most of them if they were not already gravitating towards the suns. To have all of them hanging in the sky and seeing the twinkling of those small rocks burning bright, while they were crashing onto Gunsmoke - had he seen something like this before in his long life?

Yes, yes he did.

His mind was wandering, torturing memories from the great fall flashing before his eyes. Falling ships, burning bodies screaming for their suffering to end.

It was branded into his mind for all of eternity. A pain he would endure.

Thoughts of the townspeople and their laughter suddenly appeared, cheering and praising him.

If only they knew-

The shower of sparks continued on, while Vash lost himself in his head.

Until a shooting star appeared right in front of him, that was brighter than any he had ever seen.

Its body and ray of light were tinted in a soft blue hue, letting the moons and stars appear dull in its wake. Sparks of color surrounded the night sky around it, barely visible and easily mist. But Vash saw and watched in awe.

Destructive thought pushed back into the farthest corner of his mind, he took in the sight before him.

What was this meteor made of? The way its color seemed to shift every second, breaking and forming the light around it? Some kind of diamond? He remembered how those would form light anew and left people in similar awe.

With his chest still hurting and and his eyes fixed on the wonder before his own eyes, he started to wish. A thing he had told children about - wishing upon a falling star, hoping for a brighter future. But never did the man do it for himself.

What could he wish for after all?

Absolution? Salvation?

A brighter future for plants and humans alike. A life for all of them on this deadly planet. Some kind of eternal peace?

He closed his eyes and wished for all of it.

And when he opened them up again, he was taken aback by how much closer the meteor had gotten. It had passed the atmosphere and its glow was almost blinding him.

With a squeak he stood and took off.

The falling star was heading directly towards him.

But running only did so much.

The impact behind him still reached his body and he was thrown head first right into the next dune.

It took a few tries to free his head while his tie was lost in the sand. Standing up again he shook his head, adjusting his hair and trying to get as much sand out of it as possible. Dusting off his coat as well, he turned around.

The rock formation was completely gone, but the crater itself was a lot smaller, than it should have been. It spanned only 100yarz, a meteor this size shouldn’t even have made it to the ground. There also weren’t any signs of fragments, that should have fallen all around him.

But all of this was forgotten, when he spotted the glowing center of the circle. It still sparkled and shifted in colors one could only imagine, illuminating the area around him.

Vash was drawn to it. And so he descended down into the crater, trying not to accidentally step into the still flickering flames upon the ground.

The light dimmed slowly.

And when the man reached its center, the glow was gone completely.

But no diamond or piece of metal from space lay before him.

Yet it still left him stunned and unable to move further.

It was a young woman instead.

She was laying on her back. Her straight silver hair was spread out on the ground around her. And if it wasn’t for the situation they found themselves in, she might as well have been peacefully sleeping.

He took the last few steps towards her and crouched down, checking her for any injuries. But there were none. She seemed to be totally fine with not even a single visible scratch. And while she was more or less clothed, the fine white fabric didn’t hide much of her slim body.

Contemplating what he should do in this weird scenario, he got a little closer to her, leaned over just a tiny bit and stretched out his hand to feel her pulse, when suddenly her eyes snapped open.

The girl inhaled sharp and deep, as if she had held her breath for minutes.

For a second she just stared up, then her head turned and she looked at him.

Her big green eyes widened further, her lips parted slightly.

And they just looked at each other for a moment, unable to move a muscle.

One moment became two.

And just as Vash had caught himself and started blinking rapidly, thinking of what to say, the girl on the ground took another deep breath-

And screamed.

“WHAAAAAAAA-!”

She pushed him with a force her small body shouldn’t possess and scrambled a few feet away from him, just to sit with her legs drawn close to her body and enclosing it in her arms. Her lips started quivering and the man knew she would start to cry any moment. Her orbs were trained on him in fear.

“Ahh~ I am sorry!”, he started, “I didn’t want to frighten you!” His trademark smile was back on his face, open hands raised upwards beside his head.

His words made it worse as she started trembling. Her hands gripping the burned sand around her lower body, trying to hold onto something. Anything.

“I- What-?“ At least she spoke the same language. He counted that as a win.

“Just concentrate on breathing for a sec, yeah?” An advice he had given hundreds of people in his life, while they were at the verge of a breakdown.

The girl blinked two times and then started breathing loudly through her mouth. For a second she seemed surprisingly collected - and then her tears started flowing anyway.

Her eyes wandered from his form for the first time, mustering the hole they were sitting in. Then her eyes shot upwards towards the sky and she looked even more distressed as she counted the moons above them. She turned around, searching, but seeing nothing new behind her, she quickly turned her attention back to Vash.

Her lips were quivering, when she muttered: “I don’t know what’s going on…” A soft voice, the perfect contrast to her scream from earlier.

“Well- I was just watching the sky when you…fell…?” He gestured wildly. How could he explain what he had just witnessed with her believing it and not panicking more?

“Like a shooting star-“ He really wasn’t good at this. “You almost hit me! Haha!~” Vash scratched the back of his head with one of his hands while laughing nervously. This was the weirdest thing.

The young woman looked like someone had just tried to hit her.

“Like a shooting star….?” At least the absurdity of the situation had made her stop crying for now.

“I was really just checking on you, when you woke up…” Nothing made sense.

She looked at her hands, then back towards Vash while shaking her head frantically.

“…how?” He almost didn’t catch that.

“Don’t ask me! I am just as confused as you are!”

Her eyebrows drawn together, she looked at the ground while thinking. Her hand started rubbing her sides - she must have been cold. No wonder. It was a rather chilling night and she had nothing on herself to keep her warm whatsoever. It was strange enough that the fabric surrounding her did not burn off, but right now there wasn’t really anything normal.

And then it occurred to him: she was not safe at the moment.

Half the town behind him was probably already asleep or drunk when he went up here, but the crash was not just extremely bright, but also loud enough to be heard for a few isles. It was only a matter of minutes before some townsfolk would appear at the edge of the crater.

And he wasn’t keen on finding out what would happen if they discovered a girl that fell from the sky. Sadly humans tended to do more harm than help when they didn’t understand what was going on.

“Mind if I help you stand up? We should really get you somewhere warm!” It wasn’t a lie, but it definitely didn’t fit the urgency in his voice.

“I guess-“, was all she could answer.

Vash then stood up and was in front of her crouching and trembling body within only three long strides of his, reaching out his hand for her to take.

She hesitated another second. Then she took it in her own and was lifted on her wobbly legs. Testing if they would work, she buried her bare feet in the sand. Seemingly happy with the result, she stretched her legs in front of her one after the other and took a step. Her being able to walk on her own was great news at least.

While she adjusted, he noticed her height. In a normal crowd Vash would hover above most heads, being taller than the usual man in these lands by the size of a head. Woman barely reached his shoulders, mostly not even his chest. But her? Without shoes she reached the tip of his nose. Seeing her so small and frightened on the ground, he would never have guessed that she was this tall-

Her hair was just past her shoulders in length and with the moons shining on it, the silver top of her head still looked to be glowing.

“Where to?”, the girl asked. She looked at him and tilted her head. What a cute gesture. Wait, had he started staring?

“Out of this hole first! There is a city nearby.” Vash gestured to the edge, where some rocks were still standing. Maybe they could give them some cover? At least until he was sure no one was trying to check on the site of the impact. It would be smart for the people to wait until sunrise…right?

When she didn’t start to walk and just continued to stare, he added: “Ladies first?” He raised his free hand and scratched the back of his head again. “So I can catch you if you trip?” Wait. His free hand?

And indeed: He was still holding her hand in his real one.

To make things even worse, he began to look down awkwardly - not really wanting to let go. And before his brain was working again and telling him to just drop it and act as cool as possible, the girl spoke up.

“I need both of my hands then.”

“Yeah! Sure!” He let it drop, as if he had just touched a hot pan. As pretty as the silver haired person in front of him was, this might not be the best place for a flirt.

Her face was a lot more controlled now, not showing what she was thinking at all. Instead she purposely raised one of her eyebrows, taunting him. He surely was an expert at making an ass of himself.

With one last glance at him, she turned around.

It was not an easy climb out of the crater. How did Vash get in so fast without losing his footing and rolling down? Or maybe he did and couldn’t remember because he hit his head? It did make sense. The blonde occupied his head with other random thoughts and mustered his left and right, just so he wouldn’t look right in front of him at the ascending woman.

And as if she had felt his current struggle, another snide remark fell.

“If you look at my ass, I will make sure you tumble the whole way back down. Savior or not.”

For someone who was absolutely terrified and at the verge of crying moments ago, she sure wasn't holding back now.

“I would never!” He exclaimed, adding a shocked gasp and holding one of his hands in front of his mouth for the effect.

Reaching the edge and climbing out she faced him at first, and he could see her mouth opening, ready to retort something. But she didn’t. Instead her eyes trailed further to the right, away from him and the hole in the ground.

Vash hurried up.

And then he saw the townspeople too. About a dozen of the were walking towards the pair with fast striddles. And while he knew, that they were just curious right now and wanted to look at whatever had fallen from the sky right in front of their homes, he did find some guns in their hands.

Within a split second, he decided to improvise. Not that he ever did anything else.

“Ahhhh! Good to see you guys!~” His best singsang voice would have to do. He laid a hand on the upper back of the girl beside him. She would have to forgive him for touching without asking. “I just found her! Seems like she was hit by some debris and fell down there! Ha!~” He mentioned downwards with his index finger. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice how nervous he was right now. “I will take her to the doc right away!~” He pushed her slightly and gave her a reassuring smile.

Hopefully the people wouldn’t ask questions-

A man he remembered to be friends with the local sheriff closed the distance between the group and themselves and mustered them.

“Won’t hold it against ya for sneaking away with a pretty lad like that.” The blond could feel her tense under his hand. She had caught on. “But I don’t think I have seen you around?” The older man turned his attention towards her.

“Uhm yeah. I just arrived today.” Well - she wasn’t lying.

“Hah! And already snatched the towns savior! Wish the girls back when I was young were like that!” His laugh sounded like he was choking on his spit. “Get her checked before you take her home, you casanova!”

Vash shared a quick laugh with the guy and they bid their goodbyes. The fact that the whole town was intoxicated and unable to think properly was making this a lot easier than he had thought. The mob had moved towards the edge, one of the guys he remembered drowning a glass of whiskey with rolled downwards. Another tried to help and tumbled in right after. Three women were betting who would be able to get out again first. No one cared for them right now. Good. Eventually there would be questions for her, but not tonight. He could figure something out after getting her somewhere to rest and warm up.

When they were a few yarz away from the bickering mass, the girl piped up.

“Casanova, eh? Wasn’t so off with my comment then?” A sly smile graced her lips, but she looked ahead.

“Well, what can I say? My dashing looks have won over the hearts of many fair maiden!” If it made her feel better, he would gladly play along. Walking in silence under tense circumstances wasn’t something he particularly liked.

“Must be quite the curse.” The girl brought the palm of her head over her heart. “Did you come out here to hide?” She was jesting, but it wasn’t that far from the truth. Not that she knew.

“I thought so. But it seems like beautiful woman just appear all around me out of thin air.~”

“Ah! So it is a recurring thing?”

“Yes. They fall for me all over.” The girl beside him snorted. It was good to see her loosen up a little. Vash watched her while they took the last few steps to the cities border.

“Are you feeling better?”

Her face fell slightly, but a soft smile was still gracing her features.

“Not really. Just trying to cope for now.”

“Thought so.” His steps slowed down while he was searching for the right words. “I will get you to a doctor for now. Just want to make sure that you don’t have a concussion or worse- “

“My head does indeed hurt-” Instinctively she rubbed her left temple with her fingers.

“Why didn’t you say so?” He had only been able to check for visible injuries. If he had known that she was in pain, he wouldn’t have let her walk the whole way-

“You didn’t ask.”

The man felt bad instantly. It should have been in the forefront of his mind as soon as she had calmed down a little.

“Sorry about that!”

“Don’t be.” For the first time since they had started walking, she looked up to him. “I can handle it. And you are-” The green-eyed woman stopped walking while her voice trailed off. She took a moment to think. Then suddenly her sparkling orbs gazed into his own, with an intensity that reminded him of the light he had wished upon earlier, as she spoke up again. “Thank you! Even if there isn’t much you can do… your presence really helps right now.” She paused and tilted her head, her eyebrows drew together slightly. “May I ask your name?”

“Oh! Sure! The name is Vash!” He was bewildered that he hadn’t introduced himself yet. “And helping is just what a man of love and peace like myself does!” Proudly he pointed at himself and remembered her calling him savior back in the crater. He blushed. He really didn’t do much till now and her words still made him feel good about himself?

“And what may I call you?”

She smiled and started to answer.

“I am- I- Uhm… Huh...”

Her eyes widened, and it looked like she was searching for something. She gasped for air, then let out a choked short laugh.

“What a great question!” She said.

The girl hid her face behind her hands and started shaking it.

“I think it’s Luna? But…” Still hiding herself, she peeked through her parted fingertips. “Yeah… uhm so… I can’t really remember…anything else?”

“Oh.”

#trigun #vash the stampede #vash #vash / oc #vash the stampede / oc #trigun fanfiction #Fanfiction #i did it #i wrote something #lets see where this goes haha #Sixth Moon

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passerine-writes · 10 months ago

Text

Silent Sparks - Volt 75

Warnings: Nightmares, PTSD shit, plus bits of therapy Word count: 2950

Notes: Italics - Tsukare signing Bold italics - Family member/friend signing 'Italics with apostrophes' - Thoughts

Masterlist

Volt 74 | Volt 76

I let out a heavy sigh as I stepped into our parents place. I walked into the living room to see Dad sitting there. Pops got up and gave me a hug before giving Dad a kiss on the cheek and walking away.

"Care to explain why you reacted that way?" He asked, getting straight to the point.

"Because he has no right bringing anything else into it. It's a simple question of 'are you up for this, yes or no' and I get that I antagonized the situation some, but that's also not something he had to bring up in front of at least twenty people." He simply nodded and took in what I had to say.

"Personally, I'm at a cross roads with what happened." I raised an eyebrow curiously and waited for him to continue. "I'm proud of you for standing your ground. You proved yourself in that meeting, as a hero, not just one in training. You stayed professional, you made great points, and while you proved yourself to have equal standing and knowledge of a fully fledged pro, you need to remember that you are in training, just like Midoriya and Kirishima and everyone else there. You need to remember to take that step down when you need to. I'm not saying you always should or you always have to, but you need to acknowledge the time and place when you have to stand down to someone marked as your superior." I nodded along, knowing he had a point. "And while Rock Lock should not have brought any possibility of your past abuse into it, as your Dad, I have those same concerns." My gaze moved to the floor, taking a moment to collect all of my emotions before looking back to read his lips. "With the Leagues involvement and an abused child in danger, I worry about your mental health." He moved and crouched in front of me, his eyes studying me for a moment. "We both know I'm not always the best with words, and I'm not saying Rock Lock was right to say what he did. I have to ask this though, because I love you and I worry about you ignoring your mental health. I'm not worried about you having a breakdown out there, I'm worried about how you'll do after we come home from this mission whenever it happens. You've been snapping more lately, more irritable, and you're still closed off about what happened. I want you to honestly tell me if you'll be mentally okay to do this." I nodded slowly.

"I'll be okay to do this." He watched me closely for a moment before nodding in turn.

"Okay. If at any point leading up to this, you realize you aren't mentally stable enough to. You tell me or Fatgum."

"I will." I said softly, letting Dad pull me into a comforting hug.

"Okay, you should try and get some sleep. It's been a long day. I love you."

"I love you too." I waited for Pops to come back out so I could give him a hug goodbye.

Once I stepped in the dorms, Denki turned around from where he sat with Mina, Kiri, Sero, Bakugou and Hitoshi on the couches. Kiri looked stressed beyond belief and I'm sure I looked worse for wear. Denki opened his arms from where he sat on the couch and said he saved a spot for me. I sluggishly made my way over and curled into his side, my arms wrapping around him tight. His chest vibrated with his words but I couldn't make out what he was saying, so I turned to my brother.

He asked if you're okay.

I simply nodded and let myself relax a small amount into my boyfriends side. One of his hands rubbed across my back and I felt myself melting at his delicate touch.

The fuck is going on with you and shitty hair? Bakugou signed.

Nothing.

Bullshit.

We can't talk about it with anyone not involved until after it's done.

That's fucking stupid.

It's whatever.

He rolled his eyes at that but dropped it. Denki pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head and simply held me.

Kaminari wants to know if you want to go upstairs. My brother signed and I once again nodded.

The two of us went to my room and I changed into a muscle tank and a pair of sweats before plopping on him and holding him tight. My face buried in his stomach with my arms wrapped around his torso. He tapped my shoulder and I looked up at him.

"Everything okay, babe?" I nodded and placed a kiss to his stomach since it was the only place I could reach.

"Just missed spending time with you cause of the work studies." He gave me a bashful smile, his face turning a bright pink.

"Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the flirt in the relationship." He teased and I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Believe me, you are. I don't know how to flirt to save my life." I told him in a gravelly voice, the exhaustion of today starting to hit me like a falling piano.

"I've seen you flirt before, you just don't do it often." I gave him a soft smile, one of his hands cupping my face, his thumb rubbing back and forth across my cheekbone. "You should get some sleep, baby." Sleepily, I shook my head, leaning into his warm hand. "You really should."

"But I wanna spend time with you." I mumbled, my eyes starting to droop shut but I forced them to stay open.

"Babe, you haven't even taken your hearing aids out yet." I groaned and sluggishly took them off, leaning over and getting them on the charger. "Get some sleep, okay?" I nodded and couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, basking in his warmth and comfortability.

——————

I shot up hyperventilating, my heart pounding in my chest while tears clouded my vision. I tried to look around but failed, the only small amount of light coming from the moon light streaming through the curtains. The light turned on beside me and I retracted from the abrupt dilation of my eyes. The beautiful blond I fell asleep with sat in front of me and I broke out in another fit of tears.

"You're you, right?" I sniffled out through broken breaths. "Please tell me you're really you." I sobbed, uncaring of the tears streaking my cheeks.

"It's me, baby. It's me. I'm your boyfriend, Kaminari Denki, the first time we kissed was in Sero's basement during truth or dare, Mina dared me to kiss who I thought the hottest in the room was." He explained slowly, giving me time to read his lips through my tears. I practically sprung forward and latched onto him, cries racking my trembling body.

"She was you. She pretended to be you and convinced everyone an- and everyone thought I was crazy an-" He leaned back a little bit and kissed me on my forehead, a hand coming up to cup my cheek.

"It's okay. It was just a bad dream. It didn't happen. She's not here and nobody thinks you're crazy." I sniffled and just held him tighter before noticing something on his face. Blood dripped from his ears and I felt my stomach drop. "It's okay. You didn't mean to." He said, trying to redirect my attention.

"I'm so sorry." I said, my stomach clenching from the guilt. Then I noticed a few things laid broken on the floor. I turned and saw Dad, Hitoshi and Izuku all standing near my door.

"Kaminari, would you mind going to see the old lady?" Dad asked him tiredly.

"Mr. Ai-"

"Now, please." Denki turned to me, gave me a firm hug and a discreet kiss on the cheek before making his exit. "Midoriya, back to your room." I sniffled and wiped my surely blotchy face. Dad came around and crouched in front of me. "Do you wanna come stay the night with me and Sunshine?" I nodded and followed him out, making sure to grab a few things for the night, Hitoshi following close behind us. Dad tucked me under his arm and rubbed my back lovingly. I could feel my phone buzzing in my back pocket but I didn't grab it, already knowing this would be a family discussion. They heard my panic and bits of what happened in the nightmare.

Once we got to Dad and Pops' place on campus, Pops rounded the corner and looked at me with sad eyes. He pulled me into a hug and we all moved to the living room.

"Let's go talk, little listener." I sullenly nodded and followed him back to the living room.

"It was about the League." I said quietly, not looking at any of my family. "Toga turned into Denki and everyone thought I was crazy for not thinking it was really him." I licked my lips, stalling on time. "Shigaraki got you guys. I couldn't move. I just, I couldn't move at all and I had to sit there and watch." I finally looked up through bleary eyes and saw my family in complete emotional disarray.

"Onryo, nothing is going to happen to us." Dad said reassuringly. I sniffled and rubbed my face harshly.

"I'm surprised you aren't upset about Denki being in my room." Pops tried to stifle his laughter, watching back and forth with amusement.

"Believe me, I'm not happy about it." He retorted.

"I think I need to stop having sleepovers with him for a little while." I mumbled, Pops looking like he just heard that a celebrity died.

"Woah, back it up, little listener. What happened?" Pops asked in disbelief.

"I didn't know I was screaming at any point and I made his ears bleed. I- I hurt him. And if the nightmares are getting worse again, I don't wanna risk it again." He face fell hearing my explanation.

"Sho, is Kaminari okay?"

"His hearing seemed to be in tact. However I sent him to see Recovery Girl just in case." Pops rolled his lips together before getting off the couch to sit on the floor in front of me.

"It happens. I accidentally did it to your Dad a few times." I looked at him in disbelief.

"But you're a pro hero." He nodded.

"And I was also your age once. I used to get frequent nightmares." He paused for moment to let it sink in. "There's been a number of times where I woke up next to Sho after a nightmare screaming. And it killed me inside knowing I hurt him."

"How did you make the guilt stop?"

"It took a while but I realized it wasn't my fault. I may have been the one to hurt him, but I never did it intentionally." He looked at me and placed his hand on mine. "You didn't purposefully hurt him. You aren't like that. It wasn't something you wanted to do. Accidents happen, Onryo." I sniffled and pulled him into a hug. He simply held me, rubbing my back calmly as I let myself relax in the loving hug, just for a moment.

"I take it I'm sleeping here tonight?" I asked, lips pressing together. Dad gave me a small nod and I took a deep breath. "And I take it I have to see Chiyo tomorrow?" Dad gave me a knowing look before speaking.

"It's up to you, however I think I can speak for everyone here when I say it would be a good idea." I grimly nodded and looked at the wall.

"When will this be over?" I asked him weakly, the exhaustion of everything hitting me like a bus full of cement. "I'm tired. I'm so tired, I don't even feel real."

"I know, kid. It'll be over eventually." Dad told me.

I could only nod. What else was I supposed to do?

It took a few minutes for us to get set up on the pull out couch. I stayed sitting up in the corner, curled into a tight ball and finally found it in me to check my phone.

From Pikachu <3 : Are you okay?

From Pikachu <3 : Okay, dumb question

From Pikachu <3 : I wish I could do more to help

From Pikachu <3 : Text me back when you can, please?

From Pikachu <3 : I'm really worried about you

I looked at the time stamps, all of them ranging from two forty three in the morning to ten minutes ago.

To Pikachu <3 : Low social battery, I'll see you in homeroom <3

I locked my phone and stared at the television. I had been doing so well with sleep and now I'm back to only a few hours. The longer I sat listening to my thoughts, the more depressed I felt. So, instead I grabbed my hearing aids and went to the music room. My fingers glided across the ivory colored keys on the keyboard, the color having faded after being used for so many years.

I sat myself in front of the six scale board, taking a deep breath to center myself and let my fingers guide me. Ashes of memories composed by Puocci being the first thing coming out. Lower notes in a minor key sounding rhythmically, the tempo slowly increasing ever so slightly. A dance of high notes fluttering out, like a duet only half done. Slowly, my hands came to a halt, a new song coming to mind. A somber intro starting while I hummed along to a tune I don't fully remember, more of a distant memory. The parts I couldn't remember, I simply filled in the melody. The reverberation of the keys grounding me to reality in that moment.

My head snapped in the opposite direction when I heard the door open. I looked at Dad in relief, his tired eyes watching calmly as my fingers glided across the monochrome keys.

"You haven't played that in a while." He commented, I simply nodded.

"Yeah, just kinda felt like it tonight, I guess." He hummed and sat in the stool while I turned my full attention back to the music.

It was relaxing, almost therapeutic in a way. Nostalgic, perhaps.

"Is everything okay with you and Kaminari after tonight?" My fingers fell limp, resting on the middle C key.

"I think so. He texted me earlier saying he was worried and he hopes I'm okay." He nodded once and looked at the floor.

"Onryo, I'm very worried. As a parent and teacher. I'm not sure if it's a good idea for you to go on this mission." I spun around quickly and looked at him perplexed.

"What? Why?"

"You know why." He said blandly.

"I had a single nightmare. It happens. I'm okay." I explained as calmly as I could, but my desperation showed through easily.

"Kid, I'm worried about your mental health. Just the League being mentioned today with potential involvement triggered you to have another night terror." He tried to debate.

"Dad, I'm okay to go on this mission. I have time to mentally prepare, I'm perfectly fine to do this."

"And I'm not so convinced." He stated.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"I understand that you want to do this, but I don't think you have properly considered the potential aftermath." I scoffed at his words and folded my hands in my lap.

"Then, what? You're just going to have me pulled off of this? There's no guarantee anything will happen." He looked at the ground, giving me his silent answer. "You're kidding, right? Dad that's unfair, I think I should at least have a little bit of a say in this." I told him indignantly.

"Onryo."

"No, Dad, that's bullshit." He took a deep breath and I sighed, standing up from the stool. "I'm gonna go cool off back in the dorms." I muttered, walking out of the music room.

——————

After getting no sleep, everything seemed to drag on. Denki was the first to find me in the morning, the blond rushing over to wrap me in a hug. His hair pulled back into a low pony tail with his bangs and lightning bolt hanging out to frame his face.

"You look exhausted, babe." He said sadly, one hand resting on my waist while the other came up and cupped my cheek.

"You do, too. Did you sleep at all after what happened?" I asked, worried for his health.

"I got in another hour or two." I nodded and let myself melt under his touch. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be alright. A lot happened last night." He half frowned and waited to see if I would continue that sentence.

"Wanna talk about it later?" I nodded a little and placed a kiss into the palm of his hand before we walked out to the kitchen.

Where were you this morning? My brother asked as we walked into his sight.

Dad and I had a disagreement last night, so I left before it escalated and turned into an argument.

Woah, you and Dad rarely disagree. Everything okay?

He sees something differently than I do and the downside is we can't go into detail about it with you and Pops.

What? He asked, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

Just, a lot happened. I'm sure we'll have some sort of a family talk later.

He sighed but nodded, I'm sure this would be an entertaining day.

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random-yandere-fandom · 3 years ago

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Hey, can I request a Platonic Yandere!Melodias with a child he had with Elizabeth before she died? Sorry if you don't do platonics!

Of course you can! I hope you like it! I don`t have any experience with writing platonic yanderes and before I knew it I had written more than I had planned for the backstory, so... this is all that happens before the main story of Seven Deadly Sins. Btw. I`m gonna assume you meant the first time Elizabeth died.

Platonic yandere Meliodas with his child

So it`s very likely that the first few months you had both, your mother and your father. There was a war raging on but they still somehow managed to drown you in love and affection. Your parents were very protective of you back then, too. You were a hybrid and while many people of Stigma could ignore your demon genes, especially because your mother is Elizabeth, there were still a lot of glares sent your way. Nevertheless you were raised with much care and love.

You were barely a few months old when Elizabeth was murdered and both your parents cursed. Meliodas woke up to your confused cries only to discover Elizabeth’s corpse holding your small body in her arms protectively. How you got there was a mystery, they had made sure that you were safe and secure while they would fight, not only for themselves or peace but for your right to exist. He was devastated, grief washing over him as he had to take you from her, what he assumed, last embrace.

He wandered aimlessly for a while, making sure you were well-fed and in good health, playing with you and hoping that he`d make a good parent. You were his only source of joy and he almost burst into tears when you said your first words, took your first steps or did just about anything. Hide and seek or tag were ordinary pastimes, but your sparkling eyes and joy were contagious and Meliodas found himself enjoying such regularities. When he talked to others he was almost always asking for tips on parenting or where the next food source was. Meliodas never staid long with these people, fearing that they`d somehow harm you. However, he let you play with animals he deemed safe. Should they try anything funny he`ll simply send them a glare, frightening them into obedience.

It was about that time that he met Elizabeth`s first reincarnation. He was carrying you and when you pointed up, babbling and laughing, he followed your gaze to meet hers. Happiness, relief, glee. Those feelings overwhelmed him and before he knew it he tried to hug her with one arm, balancing you on the other. The rejection was harsh, but he managed to stick by her side. Whenever he had doubts that this wasn`t really Elizabeth he would simply watch her play with you, the two of you having naturally bonded in no time and his doubts would disappear. Meliodas and Elizabeth fell in love again and all seemed well.

You grew up well in the warrior tribe your mother belonged to. They treated you well, even though you couldn`t help feeling isolated from them with the way your father would sometimes usher you away from them. But it was fine, you were happy. Meliodas would train you on how to control your powers as well as how to defend yourself while Elizabeth showed you how to distinguish between plants and how to cook. You knew that you had lived off of meals made by your father before but you feared the day that would ever happen again. So you studied how to save any dish, no matter how horrible.

You were a few years older now and you noticed something off about your father. There seemed a sadness to him, one you only understood later on. You were already entrusted with the secret of your mothers rebirth and you had no problem with that, you were simply grateful, happy that you had a close bond with her despite her not remembering your earliest months and I mean, you didn`t either.

When Elizabeth showed signs of regaining her old power both you and Meliodas were elated. Only later did you two realise that it wasn`t a joyful occasion as you watched your mother die in front of you. Before you knew it your father had covered your vision, holding you close as tears streamed from both of your eyes. You were a happy family, so why had your mother died again?

Going back to wandering, you and your father were alone again. He was spoiling you, anything you wanted you got, being showered with affection and praise was the norm. When there was something threatening you, Meliodas took care of it swiftly. Only sometimes would he search for an enemy for you to fight together, though he`d make sure you wouldn`t even be so much as grazed. You wouldn`t get attached to anyone else, leaving the new place before any ties could be made. Your dad made sure that no one would dare to get close to you.

By the time you met your mother’s second reincarnation you were a teenager and it was quite the experience. People would assume you and your father to be siblings and you never stayed long enough to correct them. You couldn`t do that here. No, not if you wanted to have your mother-daughter relationship. So the two of you decided to tell her that the both of you weren`t human, you wouldn`t tell her what exactly you were but yes, Meliodas was in fact your father. And later on yes, you`d love to call her mom.

It didn`t take long for the curse to activate and by the third reincarnation you and your father became aware of its full extend. You had a mental breakdown, damned to watch your mother die over and over again. Meliodas wasn`t feeling any better but he comforted you nonetheless. He never wanted to see you in that state again but he couldn`t bring himself to forbid you and him to seek out Elizabeth. So he promised you that day that you two would never separate, that he`d be by your side forever.

Like this, centuries passed. You would meet your mom, sometimes even as a child, spend some happy years together before she was taken from you again. Your father would always make sure to be there for you but he was hesitant to letting you make any acquaintances. there were only few exceptions to who you could interact with regularly. One would be Merlin who you soon viewed as part of your family, an older sister figure of sorts.

Life was fine, the two of you living with Liz in a small kingdom, Meliodas was a well respected knight and you were his apprentice, going with the story of you two being siblings. Until Fraudrin appeared, at least. He took you by surprise, injuring you and murdering Liz. Your dad went ballistic and the next thing you knew you were in Liones, your mother`s next reincarnation being nothing more than a small child.

From then on you were only allowed to walk around with at least one of the other sins. You weren`t an official member but you accompanied them and occasionally fought alongside them. One of their orders was to never let you get hurt and they followed that one almost religiously unless they wanted their cheerful Capatain to turn livid and everything close by wiped of the face of earth.

When the country turned against you knights and Merlin sealed his powers you just barely managed to get him out of there and into a cave where you met a new companion, the talking and ever hungry Hawk. Planning to reunite with the momentarily disbanded group you opened a tavern, your father in charge of drinks and serving while you cooked, refusing to let anyone taste the hell your father called edible and he didn`t argue, preferring to keep you from those drunkards either way. .

Work starting in the evening and ending late at night, gathering any kind of information before going to sleep and then spending some quality time with your father which included hunting ingredients for various dishes. It was peaceful for a few years but before you knew it you stood across from someone in quite the impressive armor, Meliodas shielding you protectively. Anyway, that`s how you met your mother again.

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fruitcoops · 3 years ago

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I saw this on Pinterest and immediately thought of your amazing writing skills. Do with this post as you please.😊

Oh I love this. Kitchens are the best setting (both in fiction and reality) and I will not be taking criticism on that. Combined with an ask for Remus dealing with insomnia pre-Coops, based on this fic. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for insomnia and a slight breakdown

It was 2:14 am.

The same cracks spiderwebbed across the ceiling as the previous night, and the one before that. Remus would count himself lucky to get four hours tonight.

It was 2:15 am.

He sighed through his nose and turned over, bundling the covers around his shoulders and squeezing his eyes shut. Focus on your heartbeat and your breathing. One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven, ninety-six, ninety-five— “Fuck it.”

The cold shocked him as he threw his blankets off and got to his feet with a groan, kicking aside his slippers in frustration as he wandered out of the bedroom and shrugged on his patchwork bathrobe. He didn’t bother with any lights other than the one in the kitchen and grimaced when he saw the mountain of dishes in the sink; it was hard to remember to clean when he only went through a plate and a couple utensils each night.

Remus dug his phone out of his robe pocket and let the sounds of Fleetwood Mac float through the air as he rolled his sleeves up and got to work. He loved that playlist—it wasn’t quite identical to his dad’s favorite cassette tape that had lived in the car for 20 years, but it was close enough to lull him when dozing off in the backseat of his parents’ car wasn’t an option.

“I wanna be with you everywhere,” he sang under his breath while he rinsed another plate. It was a real tragedy that he had been born two decades too late to see them in concert; his grandparents never stopped talking about the one time they went. Hell, his grandfather had proposed by singing Landslide. “Oh, I…I wanna be with you everywhere.”

He wiped a trickle of warmth off his cheek with the shoulder of his robe and continued scrubbing away at a stubborn stain on a piece of Lily’s Tupperware. Lasagna, his brain supplied. A piece big enough for two people to share, and plenty to carry him through back-to-back dinner and lunch. Alone.

Another bit of dampness slid down to his face and he dried it angrily, sniffling back the blur forming in his vision. “Come on, baby, we better make a start. You better make it soon before you break my h—”

His voice cracked. Remus took a few shallow, shaky breaths, but it was useless to try and wash the second half of the dishes when he could hardly see the sink through the haze. He threw the sponge into a mixing bowl with a light splash, sat down in the middle of his kitchen floor with his hands still dripping wet, and burst into tears.

“Fuck you, Fleetwood Mac,” he sobbed, swiping at his nose with the forearm least covered in bubbles. He was so lonely, and so very tired. Remus usually prided himself on being self-sufficient—look how well that’s turned out for you, the cruel little voice in the back of his mind sneered. “I hate this stupid song.”

But he didn’t. He didn’t hate the song, or the band, or the playlist that gave him a little bit of home. He just hated that he had to listen to it all alone on the fifth night of barely sleeping, when there was no one to hold him around the waist and sway back and forth in the kitchen or cuddle him until the drowsiness seeped in. The repetitive motion of the dishes often soothed the firecrackers popping in his early-morning brain; it seemed as if nothing would help him then.

Remus didn’t move from his spot on the floor until his chest hurt and his eyes itched and his head pounded. The song had moved on by that point, but even Super Trouper couldn’t lift his mood. He paused the music and finished the dishes in silence, then dragged himself back to bed.

“Sleep,” he said aloud to the ceiling with his eyes closed tight. “Sleep, dammit. It’s not hard. Seven billion other people do it every day. Sleep.”

Despite his exhaustion, his body refused to listen.

“Sleep,” he insisted as frustrated tears began rising again. “One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven, ninety-fucking-six.”

Two tears tracked down to the edge of his hair and he curled up on his side, then pulled a spare pillow over and tucked it against his front. It was a fresh pillowcase and still smelled more like detergent than him; if Remus let his mind wander, he could almost pretend it was another person. Someone he could hold when his brain refused to quiet down.

In and out. He would have a wicked headache in the morning, but his cryfest had at least worn out his emotions and left him feeling like a lump of sleepy jello. Inhale, exhale. Listen to your heartbeat.

The last number Remus remembered was 73. He murmured it aloud, then finally slipped into dreamland with the pillow still clutched close against him.

#remus lupin #sweater weather #loops #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #breakdown #insomnia #abba #fleetwood mac

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minor-solemnity · 4 years ago

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Hi, you’re writing is so beautiful, thank you for sharing it :)

Can I request a Tom x Reader where they take a mini vacation somewhere really secluded and they’re so happy to be finally spending time with eachother and they’re both just being super domestic and sweet.

Thank you! 🤍

Thank you my love! This prompt is giving me life istg, sweet and domestic Tom is my jam <3 I hope you like it (also am I basically writing what my dream holiday is? it's definitely possible)

Tag List : @mainlynonsense @cakesarecute @jinxqsu @naps-and-lemons @riddles-wifey (send me a message if you'd want to be added to the tag list!)

We are Mosaics

Tom turns to look at you and you recognise the determined glint in his eye and the set line of his lips which lets you know that a plan is forming and he won’t be dissuaded easily. “The Malfoy’s have a cottage in the Dolomites. I’ll talk to Abraxas.” He says it with such finality that you’re almost surprised before you remember that this is Tom. Tom who’s had his Slytherin cohort eating out of the palm of his hand for years, Tom who had marriage offers from a few of the lesser-known pureblood families, Tom who puts the fear of God into the hearts of most men. Of course, Abraxas would give him his family cottage.

You’re sitting on your sofa in the small flat you’ve rented above Flourish and Blotts glaring at the letter that sits innocently on the coffee table in front of you when Tom apparates through your wards. Your mood, which has been growing increasingly dark with the setting sun lifts somewhat when you see him. His jacket folded neatly over his arm and his white shirt slightly rumpled from the day, his hair, which he styles with care every morning is falling in soft waves across his forehead. In short, he looks like every one of your daydreams and you’re filled with a contented sort of triumph that it’s you who he comes home to most evenings. Your flat is small and certainly not big enough for you both to live comfortably, but he spends more time here than he does at his own, equally poky, abode.

His gaze flickers over the letter on the coffee table and you can see him putting the pieces together. “Bad news, I take it?” He asks in a slightly cautious tone that tells you he’s waiting for your imminent breakdown. You nod and sigh as you push yourself up from where you’ve been sulking for most of the afternoon. You gravitate towards him like a moth to a flame, the same way you always do, the same way you always have, and nestle yourself against him, allowing yourself to feel comforted and protected by the feeling of his arms around you.

“I just don’t understand why no one will give me a chance. I had the best marks in Arithmancy in the year,” You grumble into his chest. “Did you hear that Pearson got that Potions Mastery? He got an A in his NEWTS, Tom. Why does he get to do a Mastery and all I get is rejection letters?” You sigh because you know the answer. It’s the same reason that Tom wasn’t offered any of the prodigious jobs at the Ministry despite being the most talented wizard you’ve ever met with a resume that proves it. Wizarding society might be more progressive than the muggle world in some ways, but in the ways that matter to you and Tom, it was still stuck in the Middle Ages.

Eventually, you disentangle yourself from him and you spend the rest of the evening curled up on the sofa with him, reading and chatting idly about the stranger aspects of your respective magical theory texts. “Did you know about the coven in the Dolomites from the 1450s?” He asks, eyes trained on the page in front of him.

“Mmm, they’re the first known herders of thestrals, weren’t they?” He nods and you smile softly, “I’ve always wanted to visit there, you know? Ever since we learnt about thestrals in fourth year.”

You don’t think anything of it but Tom turns to look at you and you recognise the determined glint in his eye and the set line of his lips which lets you know that a plan is forming and he won’t be dissuaded easily. “The Malfoy’s have a cottage in the Dolomites. I’ll talk to Abraxas.” He says it with such finality that you’re almost surprised before you remember that this is Tom. Tom who’s had his Slytherin cohort eating out of the palm of his hand for years, Tom who had marriage offers from a few of the lesser-known pureblood families, Tom who puts the fear of God into the hearts of most men. Of course, Abraxas would give him his family cottage.

“The perks of having rich friends, I suppose,” You say with a small laugh and the smile he gives you in return is indulgent.

***

When Tom had first told you about Abraxas’ family cottage, you had imagined that your definition of a cottage and the Malfoy’s would be vastly different. You’d gone with Tom to one of the Malfoy Christmas parties once and had almost cried at the luxury and decadence. You’re pleasantly surprised though to find that the cottage is exactly as you’d hoped it would be: sturdy white stone, lattice windows, and a multitude of wild mountain flowers that make the place look like a fae dwelling. “This is gorgeous,” You murmur as you wander through the garden, letting the warm summer mountain air fill your lungs. “I never would have thought that the Malfoy’s would own somewhere quite so homely.” Behind you, Tom laughs softly.

“I think there’s a distant cousin who fancied herself a Marie Antoinette figure,” He says, stepping closer to you and resting his chin on the top of your head. “Are you happy?” He asks and you hum in response, bringing your arms up behind you to card through his hair. You twist around pull him closer and his hands drop to your waist as he kisses you.

You spend most of the rest of the day exploring the paths and trails close to the cottage whilst Tom sets up the wards. The worries and stresses of London seem so far away and you relish in the slight breeze against your bare arms and the feeling of long grass and wildflowers against your legs.

You think back to your childhood, to the holidays spent in English seaside resorts with your parents; when the war broke out, the holidays stopped. Your father disappeared into a trench somewhere and your mother had taken you back to her parents home and left the muggle world for good but she was never quite the same after. Hogwarts and the wizarding world, in general, offered you an escape. A home away from the sorrow of watching your family drift and sink into unspoken grief and sadness. You’d found Tom somewhere along the way, both of you finding some kind of solace and familiarity in each other. A tentative friendship had formed that had turned to a tentative romance.

You wonder sometimes, why he sticks around. Unlike the boys he surrounded himself at school with, you can’t offer him money or power or glory. You’ve had to fight for every opportunity given to you, just the same as him, and it’s still not enough. In your more anxious moments, you think about his future and your uncertainty over where you fit into it. Now, under the clear Italian skies, you think that maybe the answer is obvious: you fit together like pieces of a mosaic. Each of your broken and jagged edges finding a home next to his.

***

“You’re aware that you’re a witch, aren’t you?” Tom’s voice floats through the open doorway and you chuckle from where you’re standing on one of the kitchen workbenches. You glance over your shoulder and find him watching you with a mix of exasperation, confusion, and mild amusement. He walks over to you and stares at the pile of dough you’re kneading, his eyebrows knitting together. “I’ll get Abraxas to send one of his house-elves.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head fondly. Tom’s disdain for all things muggle has diminished since you’ve known him, or at least, he’s less likely to voice his opinions to you. “That’s not the point, making bread is meditative. Come on, here,” You gesture for him to take over and watch with poorly hidden amusement as he frowns and takes a step back. “You once made Peeves cry out of fear, Tom, you can’t honestly be intimidated by some flour and water.” You raise an eyebrow and try to smother your grin with an unimpressed expression. You’ve found that the easiest way of getting Tom to do anything is to suggest that he can’t.

As expected, he glowers and rolls his sleeves up. “I’m not intimidated, darling, I just don’t see the point in slaving away over something that could easily be accomplished with magic,” He says smoothly even as he approaches the dough and gingerly pokes it. This time, you don’t manage to hide your laughter and you cover his hands with yours and begin to guide him through the motions. A companionable silence falls upon the two of you and you relish the feeling of his chest against your back, his soft breathing in your ear, his hands moving under yours. Sunshine filters through the open window and you listen to the distant birdsong in quiet contentment.

Once the bread has baked, the two of you wander along the mountain trail that leads to a secluded lake. The water is crystal clear and the kind of icy blue that you’ve only seen in paintings. Tom leads you to a small jetty and conjures a pile of blankets and pillows that you quickly set about making a nest out of. You sit cross-legged, Tom’s head resting in your lap as he reads passages from the book he’s brought with him out loud to you. “According to legend, the Monti Pallidi used to be formed of dark looming rock face and the lakes were murky and black, but there was a princess from the moon who took refuge in the Dolomites and to ease her homesickness, the mountains remade themselves with pale stone and clear waters.”

“She must have been lonely, being so far away from home,” You murmur, carding a hand through his hair as you tilt your head to stare at the pale mountains that surround you. “You know, I sometimes think of you a bit like that, like you’re a moon and I’m a satellite in your orbit.” He hums softly, and you’re not sure if it's in agreement or contemplation. You shift slightly and reach for the food that you’ve packed: fresh fruit, cured meats, hard Italian cheese, a bottle of wine that you’d found in the cellars (no doubt worth more than Tom makes in a year), and of course, the bread you’d made earlier.

You tear off a couple of chunks of bread and pass one to Tom, who takes it and sniffs it delicately before he takes a small bit. You breathe a huff of laughter at his behaviour and he lazily reaches up to cuff the side of your head. “See, it’s good, isn’t it? This kind of thing is always better when you make it yourself,” He rolls his eyes but tears off another chunk, which you take to mean he is, in fact, enjoying it.

The afternoon fades into evening, and twilight descends upon the mountains. You rearrange yourselves so that your sat side by side, gazing up at the moon that is just becoming visible. “You know, I would do more than remake a mountain range if you asked.” Warmth settles deep in your bones despite the chill in the night air. Tom turns to watch you and you don’t bother hiding your smile. “I would remake the entire world for you.” You don’t doubt him either, Tom is a force of nature, always has been. He’s a visionary and you’re not always sure if that’s a good thing, but, years ago, he saw something in you and now he looks at you as though you are everything that he wants in the world.

You reach over and hold his hand, letting his touch ground you, “For now, this is enough.” You mean this moment, sitting here with him. You also mean the life you are slowly patching together, one mosaic tile at a time.

#tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x oc #tom riddle x reader #minific #tom riddle imagines #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle fanfic #tom riddle fic #harry potter fanfiction #tom riddle fanfiction #prompt fill #prompt #asks #requests #request

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zoellajulien · 3 years ago

Text

the chains that bind us

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1,343

Warning: Family fighting, Royalty AU, Kidnapping (Mention), Character death (Mention)

With a face scrunched up into a glare, hot tears running down your face, trembling hands, it was apparent you were experiencing burning, searing anger. There seemed to be no calm within you as you frustratedly fought with the material of the dress you wore while trying to remove it. Thoughts that could be considered punishable continued to run through your mind. Who does that thick-witted man think he is, telling me to find a man and replace the queen?

The maids' faces held obvious concern, but they did not speak. That, however, did not include the head servant. "Princess! Be careful! Ruining a dress tailored days ago will cause the king great distress." Despite having sound reasoning, the words went unregistered.

"That man's emotions have no meaning to me, as mine do not to him." You spat, eyes trained onto the wall in front of you. The gasp from the lower maids did not cause guilt. "I would be glad if his emotionless self experienced grief."

"My lady, you do not speak truth in your words. Please, try to calm yourself!"

At this, you turned. "Maiden Riene, you dare question the word of your princess?"

Before the woman could answer, a shudder went through you. With that, tears traveled down your cheeks and beneath your chin. All anger seemed to leave your body and change into various other emotions. Riene, who had spent many years in your presence and experienced more than a few breakdowns, enveloped you into a hug.

"Princess-"

You cut her off, reminding her to use your name instead of a flimsy title.

She changed her wording and continued, "what is prompting such sadness within you?"

There was a pause in the room, silence enveloping the four of you, excluding your heavy breathing. Your eyes, almost always bright with wonder, held deep angst and hurt instead. Taking a step with the intent to turn, Riene grasped onto your wrist. She did not utter a word, giving you much-needed space.

"He called me to his throne, told me we needed to speak. He handed me the ring he bestowed upon my mother during their marriage." Silence seemed to build thicker as confusion grew. "He told me that I needed to prepare myself to replace the queen. He told me he started the process of finding a 'worthy' husband."

The younger maids looked at each other. One spoke up timidly, "Princess, can I ask why that makes you sad?"

Moving towards the window, you sat down and stared at the gardens below. "My mother was a ruler most queens would only dream of becoming. She helped this kingdom prosper, along with the others around us, and gave many people jobs. She never let one servant fall under mistreatment by anyone. She convinced my father to let women become knights and fight for the kingdom." You smiled and placed a hand over your bracelet. "She always told me one thing, though. She told me to marry for love. Mother said that without marrying for love, miserable days do not get better. You will not have the reassurances of a friend to accept your lows without hesitance.

"My mother made me promise, swear my word to her, that I would not marry a man I did not love. I expected to stay true with Mother's help, but then she slept upon her deathbed. And my father, that belligerent man, expects me to take over what she left! To forget the vow I made to a woman with more intellect than he could fathom."

You could tell you got your point across, seeing as the two younger servants looked at you with wonder. Their looks of interest almost broke your static look into a smile due to reminding you of small children.

After more silence ensued, you took the initiative and motioned at your dress. The trio began carefully undoing the ties, buttons, zippers, and other things holding you tight in the dress. That gave you time to ponder the moments you had shared with the queen, sparking an idea.

"Rience, stop."

"My lady, what do you mean?"

"I request you fetch Prince Peter, King Anthony's child. Bring him here, for I must speak to him."

"Your highness, you are partially unclothed! His majesty will think sinful activities abound!" The third maiden, who had yet to speak since you entered your chambers, warned.

"Do not let the king find out, then. Go, all of you. My chambers are off-limits until I call for you again." Riene gave you a skeptical look, worried about leaving you with a boy. "I will not be doing anything you're imagining, please, have some sense. Now, go."

---

"If it isn't the fairest royal descendant in all of the land." Voice heavy with his accent, Peter entered your bedroom without knocking. How uncivilized, your father would say. You loved it.

"You flatter me, your highness." You tease, turning to look at him, smiling when he shined his grin at you.

"Oh, please, all the formalities! We sound as though we are ruler's consorts who are ordered about by their betrothed."

Standing in front of you was the widely known prince, Peter Parker. He wore his family crest proudly on his chest, son of the famed Anthony Stark. Once, he had been the child of a thriving family that served King Anthony well. However, tragedy struck the family when Peter's parents died due to one of the king's enemies' attempts at war. In a moment of guilt, the king brought the boy into his home. The Stark kingdom was not far, only a half-day trip west.

Peter had stood at 5' 8" at the age of fifteen, only to grow taller for the next three years. Now, he stood at 5' 10". His hair was a deep brown color, made up of several short ringlets that stuck out when not styled. His eyes were also brown but were a few shades lighter. His broad frame reminded you of your relatively small stature and warmed your cheeks as he held a confident presence.

"You're in distress. Why? What troubles you?" Peter's voice came out soft. His footsteps seemed even quieter as he made his way to sit beside you.

"Have my maidens told you?" Your voice did not come out laced with malice. Instead, an emotion similar to a mixture of hope and wonder filled the room.

"About your father? They have. I noticed the unease they carried, so I prodded until they granted me explanations. If it was a secret, it's best you punish me and not them."

When you hesitated to find words, he gazed at your appearance. In turn, you became uncomfortably aware that the dress you wore was tighter than usual around your waist. Was that just the corset? Did the color compliment your skin tone?

"Darling?"

"What? Oh. Apologies, I was lost in my thoughts. I do not wish punishment upon you or the girls. For, I expected and am rather glad they told you, as I do not need to."

"I understand you are in anguish. But, if I may ask, what can I possibly do to ease such feelings? Our families are bubbling a feud already-"

"I wish for you to remove me from this castle. I do not imply death, but I wish to escape the eyes of my father."

"What?"

For a fleeting moment, as you sat in front of someone you trusted with far more than your life, fear encased you. His expression was no short of confusion, with a heavy lining of panic as well. An undeniable terror tore through your chest, resulting in an unplanned and inelegant explanation to tumble from your lips.

"You've heard what my maidens have said." You stood and walked to your bed, pulling a light cover over your shoulders. "Tell me, is it kingly to break a widow's last wish? I can not fulfill what I promised with my father forcing a marriage down my throat."

"Princess, are you imply we stage your kidnapping?"

taglist: @rorybutnotgilmore

want to be added? just ask!

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biderboy · 4 years ago

Text

To Save You || Jegulus

description- james and regulus say goodbye.

tw - mentions of death, abuse

it wasn’t suppose to turn out like this.

beaten, bloody, hands shaking as they reached for each other, for their wands, for something.

there wasn’t suppose to be tears, or screaming. they weren’t suppose to fight, and yet that seems to be all they do these days.

it used to be so nice, james thought bitterly, looking at his own bloody hands, they used to be so good.

he shouldn’t think like that, logically. because he and regulus were okay, right? they were fine.

but regulus was standing in front of him, his black hair had fallen in his eyes, in a way that was still devastatingly beautiful.

his hands, the same hands that would run through james’ hair, that would tug and play with it. the same hands that would run down his neck, gently pulling him in. his hands were shaking as he held his wand high, not daring to let it drop no matter how exhausted he was.

james let his eyes rake over the body of his lover, his lover, and see how truly tired regulus must be. the way he slightly stumbled, how he put too much weight on his left knee, how his breathe stuttered when james finally met his eyes.

those eyes, the same ones that resembled the moon, the same ones that james could stare at for hours because absolutely everything about them pulled him and strung him out. his eyes were dead now though, the same color, the same shape, but hollow in a way james hoped he’d never have to see.

maybe they weren’t okay.

judging by the blood on regulus face, by the new scars that slashed across his right arm, by the pounding in his head that could very well be the people outside the door behind him.

james could remember the first time they were in this room.

it was the summer before 6th year, james had been visiting the black manor for a reason he could not remember. a party perhaps, but for whatever reason, he ended up in this room.

the walls were filled with stars, he came to realize. and those same stars reflected in the eyes he stared at.

regulus black in all his glory, had been hiding from his parents that day. much like they were doing now, and james decided to join him.

regulus had looked quite small, quite scared back then. had a look in his eyes trhat james would do anything to erase.

and so, james ahd sat next to the small boy and talked. he talked about the quidditch games he couldn’t wait to play, he talked about a cat he saw in a random muggle town, he talked and talked.

as he talked, the boy next to him grew more relaxed, the faded look in his face gone, and then he looked at james with a small smile and james thought he’d do anything to make sure that smile never left.

maybe that was the beginning of the end.

but james wouldn’t regret it, not even now.

in that same room, that smile wiped of regulus’ face because of him.

he’d be damned if he let it stay that way, not now, not after everything they’d been through.

the countless sneaking around, hiding behind shadows. covering up smiles. the pretend hatred in public, the soft kisses shared in the dark corners. they tears, the heartbreaks. the care, the constant worry.

after everything, is this really how it would end?

hiding in the room it began, regulus’ mother pouring on the door behind him, shouting curses and hexes james didn’t even know existed, regulus bleeding, regulus with tears falling down his cheeks, his own body begging for him to give up.

it can’t end like this.

“reggie please, we can leave.” he found himself pleading, he’s not even sure of the words coming from his own mouth, he heart racing to find the right thing to say to make him stay.

“no we can’t james, they’re right outside, they’ll find us.” he looked panicking, and james knew he had ever my reason to.

regulus’ mother was ruthless, every scar, every bruise, was caused by her. every breakdown, every time regulus looked at himself like he deserved to feel that way, it was because of her.

james knew that, but he didn’t want to rationalize it. he was scared, he was terrified actually. heart breaking more with the way regulus looked like he was ready to give in.

“james, you have to go.”

“no, i’m not leaving you.”

“GO potter, now.” he left no room for argument, but james was never one to listen.

“why are you doing this reg? we can leave together, we can get you out. let me help.” james whispered, making a move towards him, only for regulus to take a step back, pulling his wand towards james.

“you can’t help me james. they’re ruthless. they’ll always find me, they’ll catch us, they already have, don’t you see?” he gestured to the room, without windows, no floo. the only way out was the door that his mother was waiting behind, a killing curse undoubtedly on her lips.

“love plea-“

“no james! you have to leave without me.” regulus couldn’t meet his eyes, knowing if he did he’d cave, but he couldn’t. this was for james.

“i’d rather die then be without you” he whispered, wand falling.

“then die.”

james froze, brain and heart not wanting to register what regulus had said. because regulus wouldn’t say that, regulus loved him.

regulus’ hands always met his first, regulus’ eyes always trailed over the freckles on his face, regulus’ voice carried through the stars to meet him specifically.

regulus held him with such love, he kissed him with such certainty.

regulus just told him to die.

james knew his wand had fallen to the ground, he knew his heart almsot stopped beating, he knew his hands shook and tears gathered in his eyes.

regulus still wouldn’t meet his eyes, regulus had his wand pointed at him but his hand shook and his knuckles were white.

“look at me.”

regulus didn’t falter.

“look at me regulus.”

he heard an intake of breath, yet that was all. james voice cracked, his heart picking up as if it would race out of his chest and go straight towards the boy infront of him.

“regulus, just tell me why.”

why he was leaving, why he couldn’t come with. why he was listening to his mother’s wishes, why he was joining the dark side, why he was giving up.

“to save you.” and regulus finally met his eyes, and james knew that this was the last time he’d see them.

because regulus voice was so broken, so tired. and his eyes were red, and the light james had gotten so used to seeing, was dull.

and james knew, because in any situation, james would die for regulus. james would give his life, james would fight until he couldn’t, james would breathe his last breath into regulus if it meant that his lover got to see another sunrise.

james knew if he was in regulus’ place, he’s push him away. he’d tell him to run, he’d kiss him one last time and accept the fact that regulus would love, even if that meant he couldn’t.

he wouldn’t think twice, he wouldn’t even regret it.

because if there was anyone in this world that deserved to live, to see the stars, to feel the sand under his feet as he watched the waves say goodbye, it was regulus black.

but james never imagined to be in the situation, or to be in the spot he always figured regulus would be in.

but regulus had a tear falling down his cheek, and james felt his hand reach up to wipe it away.

regulus let himself lean into the touch, let himself have that, atleast.

and james almost broke, james almsot grabbed him and apperated away. but all he did was smile, it was soft and small in all the ways he deserved for regulus.

and he pulled him in softly, letting regulus’ wand finally fall from him hand. and he brushed his nose against his lovers, letting his own eyes close.

he relished in this feeling, regulus being in his arms, regulus being his. he let himself think they were back in the room of requirement, with soft music playing in the background, not a care in the world about the war or about being caught.

he let himself feel. he let his heart and magic reach out and grab and pull, he let himself break again and again.

and then he pressed his lips gently to regulus’ cheek, then his nose, he forehead, his eyelids, and finally, his lips.

the soft brush was filled with desperation, with love, with anger and void.

it was goodbye.

they both knew, they both held on for a moment longer than they should have. they both let themselves have each other for the last time.

but the banging on the door resumed, and james pulled away. regulus took a shaky breath, and picked his wand back up, pointing it at james’ chest.

james smiled.

“going to blast me away darling?” he joked, despite the tears in his eyes, and the way his voice broke.

and regulus let out a small laugh, and james felt his heart swoon and break at the same time. he’d never been more in love with the universe than he was right now, since regulus, to him, was the universe in its purest form.

his eyes made of stardust, his lips of fallen leaves, his hands as soft as water and his tongue burned like fire. everything about him was forged from the universe herself, and james was so completely in love.

and he took a breath, let himself fall away as regulus whispered a spell he wasn’t sure of.

a blue light flooded his vision, and next thing he knew, he was in his own room, regulus no where to be found.

he let himself fall to his knees, finally letting the sobs take over his body.

he stared at his right hand, a small golden ring placed gently in it. he felt his heart turn, desperately looking for its other half.

and yet james knew, his heart wouldn’t be complete again. his right hand would stay cold, the place regulus normally let his head rest on his shoulder would remain untouched.

the universe worked cruelly sometimes.

“to save you, my ass” james muttered, wiping his tears.

“as if i’d be safe without you by my side.”

and it was true, how on earth would james potter exist without his universe by his side?

#not as angsty as i wanted #also not as good as i hoped #OH WELL #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #james potter angst #regulus black angst #james potter fic #regulus black fic #jegulus angst #jegulus fic #james x regulus #hp fic #harry potter #the marauders era #sorin writes

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kj-1130 · 4 years ago

Text

Feelings Suck

Uswnt x reader

⚠️T/W: implication to emotional/verbal abuse? Bullying, lil bit of self-harm maybe? lemme know if it’s something else.⚠️

Main Masterlist

Your first call up to the national team came when you were 16. This had been your dream since you first started watching and playing soccer. Being able to train with such inspirational and empowering women was amazing.

When you arrived, you were kind of shy at first. You honestly didn’t expect to be called up again, so you figured there was no point in trying to get to know everyone and develop relationships.

Much to your surprise, you had been asked to attend another camp. Then, you started to get to know the ladies more and you learned that they were amazing people.

The women were so understanding and just nice in general. If only the media and your classmates had been the same.

Before you had been called up, you weren’t very popular at school. Many didn’t notice you were there; you were essentially invisible to everyone even some teachers. But after you made your debut, things started to change.

You had never yearned for popularity, but hoped it was the good kind if it ever did come to you. But when it came to you, it came fast, hard, and unexpected yet not the way you hoped.

People started pointing out flaws; saying you weren’t good enough to be playing with such great athletes or that you didn’t look like other soccer players.

Not only that, but the media had ripping your ass as well. Almost every time you looked, your social media was full of your mistakes. From compilations of your greatest fails to commentators.

The supposed fans of the Uswnt, were absolutely ruthless to you. Always saying that you didn’t deserve your spot and anybody was easily ten times better than you.

You had your teammates and surely they’d understand what you were going through. The thought of asking for help had crossed your mind multiple times; when you saw Christen just watching television the first time you were roomed together. Or when you and Tobin had spent the day together going to get lunch. There were plenty of times you could’ve reached out, but the constant overthinking and weight you had on your shoulders told you otherwise.

You tried not to let it get to you, but when you hear something so much you start to believe it. If being on the national team gave you this much baggage, you’d rather be invisible like before.

You always thought that you’d burden people with your problems. Everybody has issues of their own that some didn’t know about, but they carried on. That’s what you thought. If people can get through their issues then so can you.

Day by day, the team noticed that your behavior had changed. You didn’t talk as much and you weren’t as chipper as usual.

You didn’t do your daily morning yoga with Christen often opting to do some light training instead. You no longer went skateboarding with Ash and Tobin, but spent your time in your hotel room looking at stats or ways to improve your play. It didn’t matter to you how much time it took.

You just wanted someone to recognize that you’re something; that’s what you always longed for. Each time someone said something about your horrible play, your parents were only being proved right. They always told you that you’d never get anywhere with the sport; that there were athletes much better than you. But you always pushed past that, desperate to show them that you could and would make it. Yet now, it just seems like they were just telling the truth.

You had gotten off the phone with your parents not long ago. Both of them screamed at you for a good thirty minutes, complaining that you had wasted their money on soccer. Complaining that you had no right to be such a bad player when they gave you everything you needed. Of course you felt guilty; they manipulated you to think it’s your fault.

So here you were once again, sitting at the hotel’s desk trying to get it together. You had training in an hour so you had to suck it up.

Before you could start getting ready, Alex, your roommate, came in with Kelley, Allie, Christen, and Tobin.

You quickly wiped away your tears and hoped you didn’t look like you were about to breakdown. Thankfully, luck was on your side today.

Alex came over and sat on her bed along with Kelley and Allie, “Hey kiddo, we’re just gonna hang out for a bit til training. What were you up to?”

You hadn’t really been doing anything since the phone call so you just came up with a lie, “Nothing much. Just on my phone.”

The women had started engaging in conversation, so you decided to just get ready.

Grabbing your clothes, you went to take a shower. Once you stepped inside, you tried avoiding the mirror all together, but it was so hard. It was right there; right in front of you. It was impossible for you to ignore.

When you turned and got a glimpse of yourself, all you heard were your classmates. ‘You’re too big to be a soccer player.’ ‘You’re never gonna make it big.’ ‘You’re worthless, whatever you do is for nothing.’

You blocked out their voices, but soon came your parents’. ‘You’re wasting our money.’ ‘You’re not good enough’ ‘We should’ve given you away when we had the chance.’

Those had been things you’d heard before; the last one always hitting you the hardest. Maybe they were right. Maybe you were just a nobody with no guaranteed future with this sport. Maybe you should just quit it all...

Christen had gone quiet after you made it into the bathroom. She noticed some of your odd behavior especially quick since she didn’t have her yoga buddy anymore.

The others kept talking but the more the forward thinks about it, your mood has surely been dampening. You hadn’t spoken to her about anything, but she hoped that you did feel comfortable to speak to her when you were having problems.

Christen speaks up as she no longer can keep this to herself, “Has anybody else noticed (Y/n)’s been acting weird lately?”

The other athletes in the room contemplate for a second before nodding their heads, already trying to figure out what was wrong.

Kelley had been scrolling through social media at the time and happened to come across some comments, “Uh, guys? I think I have an idea of what’s going on.”

Everyone in the room immediately snapped their heads over to the defender and crowded around her. Allie was the first to see and started reading one, “‘(Y/n) (L/n) honestly needs to be removed from the team. Literally anyone would be a better choice, like come on.’ That has over one hundred likes. There’s no way she hasn’t seen any of these.”

The women all shared sad looks. Christen was about to say something but you opened the door, having finished getting ready.

Everyone scrambled back to their respectful spots and you raised an eyebrow at their frantic behavior.

Shaking your head, you decide to go down to the lobby to be alone and hopefully clear your head.

Before you could even make it to the door, someone had called you, “Hey (y/n)?”

You sighed before answering, “Yes, Alex?”

“Where you going?”

You just wanted to go somewhere without being questioned for once. You understood that you were the youngest, but the level of overprotectiveness these women have is off the charts.

“No, I’m not leaving the hotel. Yes, I have my phone. Yes, I have my key card. I’m just going to the lobby to chill for a bit before practice.”

You had been through the exact same interrogation almost every time you wanted to leave your hotel room.

Luckily, before Alex could grill you any further, Christen stepped in, “It’s fine (y/n), just go ahead.”

You muttered a small bye and walked out the door. When you were halfway down the hall and heard the door close, you let one of your tears fall.

When it was time for practice, you had just been off your game. You were missing shots you normally wouldn’t, your tackles were messy, and everything was just an overall mess right now. And everyone else could tell.

Every word read or that was spoken to you were just in your brain, making themselves at home. They were right there, always reminding you what a failure you are and that you’ll always be one. They were there letting you know that your parents were right all along. They were there making themselves known in any way possible.

You were so close to breaking down at this point. Vlatko took you off the field and told you to get yourself together. You honestly didn’t know if you could anymore.

You were so close to breaking and didn’t know if anyone could pick up the leftover pieces.

Sitting down on the sidelines, you immediately put your knees to your chest and tucking your head in between them. You tried to calm down, but it was so hard. Your senses were dialed to 11 and everything was too much. You decided to get up and go to your bag where you kept your phones along with your earbuds.

You quickly scrambled to get them on; anything to block out the chaos of your brain was good at the moment. All unaware of the worried eyes on you.

In that moment, the team had decided to get to the bottom of this and help you.

You shouldn’t have expected to be able to hide this forever. You shouldn’t have expected to be able to use homework as an excuse to not hang out forever.

When there was a mandatory team bonding called in your and Alex’s room, you knew something was about to happen. Whether that something was about to benefit you was the question.

When you got to the hotel, you expected that you’d be able to shower then relax a bit and prepare yourself for the inevitable conversation you were about to have with all 20+ women on the team.

So when you did step out of the restroom, you absolutely did not expect over 40 eyes already on you.

“Nope.”

“Ah, ah, ah, no,” Ali said while walking over to you, dragging you with her to her spot and pulling you onto her lap. Your eyes widened slightly and you immediately moved yourself to the spot next to her.

Everyone was thinking similar things. You usually loved your cuddles and they’d always make you feel better if you were stressed because of school or anything else.

“So,” Ash said, “you wanna tell us what’s been going on?”

You simply looked down at your fidgeting hands and shrugged your shoulders. “What’s there to tell?”

Ali shrugs her shoulders as well, “Oh I don’t know. Maybe how you were off your game today.”

When have I ever been on my game?

“Or how you’ve been distancing yourself from everyone.”

I don’t deserve to be here anyway.

“Or—“

“Okay, okay. I don’t know what you want me to say,” you muttered.

You were panicking. This is overwhelming you and you didn’t really want to have much human interaction after training.

“Look, you don’t have to go into detail,” Tobin said. She was always chill and her demeanor relaxed you a bit. “You can just give us a gist and let us help you. Please, (y/n). We care about you and your behavior shows something is wrong. Let us help.”

And there was the guilt trip.

Tobin’s words started to make you tear up.

After much hesitation you decide to say something (more like mumbled).

“They say things.”

Ali takes your face in her hands and lifts it up, forcing your bloodshot eyes to make contact with hers.

“Can you speak up sweetie?”

“They say things,” you spoke with a tremble in your voice.

“Who says things?”

“Everybody. They all do.”

Every woman in the room shares glances. They knew you were still going to school when you didn’t have camp so hate could be extended there too.

Christen decides to contribute to the conversation, “You know what anyone says isn’t true, right?”

You shrugged again.

“(Y/n),” Kelley spoke sternly.

“What?” You finally snapped. Every word after this just spilled out of you like a dam.

“I’ve been hearing it for the past 17 years, do you not expect me to believe it! I see it everyday, there's no hiding it.”

There it was. You snapped. Everything was coming out. Your body shook from sobs and Ali quickly pulled you closer into her embrace.

There was no dry eye. No one knew of your home situation and now the cat’s out of the bag.

“(Y/n),” you were pulling your hair; the pain always grounded you.

“(Y/n)!”

“What?!”

Ali grabbed your wrist and gently yanked them from your head.

“You’re having a panic attack. Breathe.”

You were shaking your head, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

It took at least 10 minutes to calm down. The team gave you a few more minutes to regroup.

When you became more aware of your surroundings, you realized how much your head was hurting.

While you were hiding in Ali’s shoulder, everyone asked questions.

“What do you mean 17 years, (y/n)?” Casey asked.

“My parents. They say stuff too. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s just go to sleep, alright?” Ali always knew how to calm you down.

You nodded and hummed into her neck and fell asleep soon after.

From then on, the team was going to protect you. How? They didn’t know at the moment, but they were absolutely determined.

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yikesharringrove · 4 years ago

Text

Found out Steve’s house is like,,,, less than a mile away from the Byers’ house. Here’s this.

Jonathan sat bolt upright in his bed.

He heard something crashing around outside.

His heart was racing as he tossed back the covers.

He usually slept in jeans these days.

He came out into the hall to find Will, eyes wide, pale in the dark.

“You heard it too?” Jonathan just nodded at him, pulled Will behind him.

Joyce came running out of her room on the next crash, found both boys in the hallway.

She grit her jaw, ax in both hands, ready to defend.

They crept together through the kitchen, keeping Will between the two of them, listening for more sounds.

Something was in the woods.

She opened the door as quietly as she could peering outside.

There was another crash, the sound of branches crunching underfoot and-

“Sweetheart, what are you doing out here?”

Steve Harrington was breathing heavy, nailed bat held over his shoulder, his grip tight, ready.

He was covered in mud, his hair a fucking mess, big dark circles under his eyes.

“I, uh, I,” He was stammering, blinking around like he didn’t know where he was, what was happening.

Joyce just crossed the porch.

He flinched when she put her arm around him, leading him inside.

“Jonathan, get him some clothes, please.” Jonathan had to wrench himself from the spot.

Steve Harrington was in his house, King Steve, shaking and weak, and looking like he was three seconds from falling apart at the seams.

Jonathan came back with sweatpants and a sweater, found that his mother had deposited him into a kitchen chair.

He was paperwhite, like a fucking shadow of his old high and mighty self.

“Steve, what were you doing out there?” He blinked at Joyce slowly, like he didn’t even register he was being spoken to. She sighed. “Why don’t you go shower. Clean yourself up. You can sleep here.”

He seemed to startle back into himself.

“I can’t-”

“I’m not letting you go back through those woods tonight. Not when you look like you haven’t slept for a week.” He swallowed thickly. “Jonathan will show you the bathroom, and you can sleep on the sofa.”

“He can have my room!” Will piped up. “I can sleep with mom tonight.”

They broke apart slowly.

Steve refused to let Jonathan take the bat out of the bathroom as he left, made him think that Steve took it with him wherever he went.

The shower ran until it must’ve been frigid, until Joyce went and knocked on the door to see if he was okay.

Steve looked really small in Jonathan’s clothes, his hair limp against his forehead, but he looked slightly more alive, less like a dead body found in the woods.

“What were you doing out there?” Steve wasn’t looking at any of them.

“I just, sometimes I don’t think that they’re gone, and I need to, need to check.”

“El closed the gate. And Will’s okay, better than before, even.” He took a deep breath, his hands shaking, the handle of the bat resting against his calf.

“I didn’t even, one minute I’m having a, a nightmare, and the next, I’m in your shower. It’s like, it’s like I just blacked out, and I-” he clenched his jaw, bottom lip trembling.

His eyes were shining.

Jonathan thinks seeing Steve Harrington cry is probably the saddest thing he’s ever seen.

It’s not like he’s unaware of his fall from grace, of the way he went from most popular teenager in town to the laughing stock of even the theater kids. Hell, Jonathan had a hand in some of that, but for some reason, Jonathan still always saw him as this royalty.

And here he was, in Jonathan’s old sweater, trying not to cry at his kitchen table.

“Does that happen a lot? Blacking out?” His mom had put on that voice she only used when they were sick or overwhelmed.

Steve just nodded. He was all twisted into himself, arms hugging his stomach, slouched forward over the table.

“When was the last time you slept?” He shrugged. “Okay. That’s okay. Sleep here tonight. Should I call your parents? They’re probably worried if they heard you leave.”

“They’re not home. Haven’t been in months.” Jonathan saw something flash across his mom’s face before she was hauling Steve up, hugging him tightly before leading him to Will’s room.

Will was staring at where Steve had been sitting.

“Did he say, months?”

“Nancy told me his parents are hardly ever home.”

“I always hated Richard Harrington.” Joyce was back, ripping into a new pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. “You know, Hopper beat the crap out of him once. We were at a party, out by Lovers’ Lake, end of the school year. And Harrington was just, he had this way of talking like he was the only person with something important to say. Hopper just, he was so calm, he put out his cigarette, and punched him in the face.”

Will had one hand over his mouth. Jonathan was trying not to laugh.

“Don’t tell Hop I told you that.”

They all went back to bed slowly, Joyce checking on Steve before she turned in.

He was flopped on Will’s bed like he had fallen on top of it and fallen right asleep.

She covered him with a spare blanket.

He was still asleep well into the next afternoon, and had barely moved when evening came about.

“Are we sure he’s not dead?” Joyce threw Jonathan a look.

“He looked like he hadn’t slept in years, poor boy. Probably keeps himself awake for days on end and then just, passes out like this.”

They were cleaning up dinner when he finally stumbled into the sitting room, hair messy and eyes bleary.

Joyce shepherded him to the kitchen table, to a plate of leftovers.

He wolfed everything down, eating like a complete pig, his cheeks bulging.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like a human.”

He finally looked like a human, the color returning to his cheeks a bit. Joyce took a deep breath.

“What happened, last night?”

Steve stared down at his fork, turning it over in his hands.

“That happens sometimes.”

“You said that, you said it’s like you black out.” He clenched his jaw. “I’m worried about you.”

He smiled at Joyce a real charming smile that probably worked on the girls he flirted with and the fancy people he schmoozed at the country club.

“I’m okay, Mrs. Byers. I’m managing.” She scoffed, fixing him with a challenging stare.

“It’s alright if you’re struggling, I mean, we all-”

“Yeah, but you guys have really been affected by this shit. I’m just on the periphery.”

“Steve, Nancy and I would’ve died that night if you weren’t there.” Steve couldn’t look Jonathan in the eye. “And Dustin said you got all the kids out of the tunnels. You’re not just on the periphery, and I mean, saving lives like that probably weighs on you.”

Steve shook his head. He had a white-knuckled grip on his fork.

“It’s shitty for everyone. It doesn’t have to be worse for us than it is for you.” Steve bit his lip at Joyce’s calm tone.

“But it, it is.” And oh God, Steve was fucking crying, was sitting with his head down, hair over his face, shoulders tight and shaking. Crying. “I’m sorry.”

Joyce’s chair scraped on the ground as she moved to pull Steve into a tight hug.

“It’s okay. We’re here for you, Sweetheart.”

She let him cry into her sweater until his tears had more or less subsided.

“You’re always welcome here. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or just lonely.”

“Shouldn’t say that. If I came here every time I was lonely you’d never be rid of me.”

Joyce just shook her head.

“Point still stands.”

Steve was sitting low in the passenger seat as Jonathan drove him home.

“I’m sorry.” Steve had been apologizing a lot after his breakdown.

“It’s okay, man.”

“No, I mean, like, I’m sorry. Like for everything. For, for how I treated you growing up, and , and that fight-”

“Steve, you’ve already apologized for this.” He had, shortly after the first Upside Down incursion.

“I know but, I mean it.” Jonathan just squeezed his shoulder with one hand, idling outside Steve’s house.

“You gonna be okay?” Steve looked at his house, sighing heavily.

“Can I get back to you on that one?” He smiled weakly at Jonathan, but it was an actual smile.

He took his bat with him into his house, waving at Jonathan from his front porch.

#yikes writes #steve harrington #jonathan byers #joyce byers #will byers #this was mostly just an excuse to make steve cry lol

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kinngxali · 4 years ago

Note

Hey! could I have headcanons of nagito, hajime and fuyuhiko as older brothers and one day their sibling goes missing to play with their friends but doesnt tell anyone but they come back unharmed and their brothers were worried

i love this sm! thank you for the lovely request anon <3

i’m not good with headcanons, so i will refrain from doing them for now.

sorry if this annoys you!

Y/n: your name

F/n: friends name

•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•

Nagito, Hajime & Fuyuhiko looking for their sibling!reader

warnings: slight swearing

Nagito ~

“Hey, Ko!”

Nagito turned around when he heard your voice call out his name, smiling at you. “Yes, Y/n? How can I help you?” You chuckled slightly, shaking your head. You were used to him being quite formal with you, and while it did annoy you at times, he was still your brother and you love him.

“Well i was going to-” You were interrupted by your friend, F/n, swinging an arm around your shoulder with a grin. “Cmon! We gotta go school!” You stood there for a second, debating if you should ask Nagito for a lift instead of taking the bus. “Would you like a ride?” Nagito asked, almost as if he was reading your mind.

“No, we’re okay!” F/n said, before dragging you away when you were about to give your brother a goodbye hug. “Have fun at school!” You heard him shout as you ran to meet with the rest of your friends, before going to the bus.

Nagito noticed that you were giggling, but of course he would never suspect you of doing anything. He was happy if you were happy.

Just as you was about to get off the bus, one of your friends pulled you back into your seat, making you let out a small yelp. “Guys, we gotta get off or we are gonna miss school!” F/n laughed and rolled their eyes, grinning cheekily. “We aren’t going to school, silly.”

“B-but-!?” They brought a finger to your lips and winked, making you blush from embarrassment. Your other friend stood up and laughed loudly. “We’re going shopping!”

“With what money?” You spat out, making F/n shake their head. “Togami-chan’s money, what else?” Togami-chan, Byakuya Togami’s adopted sister (even though they act more like coworkers) stared at you intensely.

“Oh, boy. I have no idea why I’m hanging out with you fools. And why are we on this dirty bus? I did not agree to thi-”

“We love you too Togami-chan!”

—————

5:30pm. You should’ve returned from school an hour ago.

Since he always gets home later than you, you would usually call him or even text him to let him know you were home.

Nagito put down his phone with a sigh, he wasn’t the type of person to worry. It was extremely rare for him, but this time- something felt... off.

Had you ran away? No, you were so cheerful this morning.

He wouldn’t be surprised if you did though, he doesn’t deserve to talk to you.

Maybe you had gone out to a friends house. He could call F/n’s mom?

No, trash like him shouldn’t worry that nice woman with his problems.

“Nagito, you’re spacing out again.” Chiaki waved a hand in front of his face, making Hajime mumble something along the lines of ‘you’re one to talk’ under his breath.

There was no point lying this time, if something did happen to you, he was sure his classmates could help.

“H-hey N-nagito?” He turned his head to Mikan and gave her a warm smile. “What is it?”

“W-well, I don’t know i-if you know.. but I saw Y/n on the bus with their friends earlier, i-it was way past their stop as well..”

Nagito’s mind suddenly went blank.

“No they didn’t tell me. But I doubt they’d tell trash like me their business anyway...”

“We should go look for them,” Hajime stood up abruptly, Chiaki following not long after. “They could be in trouble.”

“I have hope that they’ll be oka-”

Chiaki pulled him up and Mikan bowed and walked away quickly, going back to her original seat. “But we don’t know for sure.”

8:17pm.

“Did you find anything?” Akane shook her head regretfully, making the whole class groan.

“Maybe we should call the police..” Sonia said, glancing at Nagito, who hadn’t stopped looking around. “I don’t know.... Nagito wouldn’t want them to interfere.” Chiaki sighed, looking at her feet.

“Can you guys hear that?” Ibuki suddenly said, surprising everyone since she was being quiet this whole time. “Hear what?” Hajime said, making Nagito run over to them, a desperate look in his eyes. “People laughing.... this way!” Ibuki suddenly took off, Nagito following close behind her. As they were racing ahead of the whole class, Nagito saw a familiar shadow in the distance.

“Y/n.”

Ibuki stood still and told everyone to back down as Nagito watched you playing on the swings with your friends, laughing.

This makes sense. You had been very stressed recently.

Nagito suddenly clutched his head and laughed loudly, almost as if he was having a psychotic breakdown.

That wasn’t the case though, he was simply laughing at how foolish he had been for making a big deal out of something so minor. He even got his whole class to help.

You heard the laughing and stopped smiling, looking over to the road to see Nagito laughing hysterically. You ran over to him and slowed down as you got closer, feeling guilty.

“N-nagito?”

He looked up at you with a blank face. “I’m sorry that trash like me disturbed your time with your friends, Y/n.” You leant down and smiled at him. “No, I’m sorry for not telling you.”

Hajime ~

“How’ve your exams been lately?” Your dad asked from across the table, looking at you. In all honesty, your grades had dropped significantly. Hajime coughed from next to you, earning everyone’s attention. “They’ve been good. Me and Y/n haven’t had any problems with them.” His blatant lie seemed to have slipped past your parents, making you glance to him and send him a small smile, thanking him.

After dinner, you had both gone to your room, and Hajime flopped on his bed. You fell next to him, both of you staring at the ceiling. “So... I saw you talking to Nagito and Chiaki earlier at school~”

“S-shut up! You didn’t see anything.”

A small laugh escaped your lips.

—————

You had snuck out of school to meet up with your friends. It was hard trying to avoid Hajime, but Nagito seemed to be a great distraction as he bombarded him with his hope rant.

When you was about to walk out of the school, you noticed your classmate, Kokichi, sitting on the steps outside. “Nishishi~ took you long enough Y/n!”

Your friendly smile quickly turned into a frown as you tilted your head in confusion. “I’m sorry, you’re coming too?”

“Duh! Why else would I wait for you?” You didn’t know if that was a lie or not, but went along with it either way.

You both walked to the riverbank in a peaceful silence, which was surprising since you never really got to see Kokichi worn out.

“Hey guys!” F/n greeted you both as they stood with Rantaro. “Rantaro? Wait- how do you all know each other?” You exclaimed, “Except for Rantaro and Kokichi knowing each other... since we are in the same class~”

“Instagram.” They all said in unison as they looked over the bridge and into the water.

The sunset was beautiful.

Since the barrier was quite low and wide enough to sit on, with the help of Rantaro, you sat on it, your legs dangling over the edge, the rest of your friends did the same thing, except F/n, who leant on their elbows as they put their hands under their chin.

You all sat like that for hours, and Kokichi even fell asleep on you.

You didn’t realise how late it had gotten until Rantaro had a call from his sisters, and said he had to go home.

6pm.

They all went one by one, with you having to wake Kokichi up at 7pm, since his phone kept ringing.

You sat on there alone, listening to music as you stared at the river underneath you. This was amazing. “Y/n?” You heard from behind you, making you turn and take out your earphones.

“I’ve been looking for you for hours!” He said exhaustedly, frowning as he leant on the barrier just like F/n did before. “I-I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your ‘sorry’.”

“...”

“Do you even know what time it is?”

“No...”

“10 o’clock.”

“O-oh, I didn’t mean to worry you Hajime..”

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I thought you had gone missing... or worse.” You went silent.

Hajime was always protective of you, and you slightly envied him. He was only 3 years older, but he was able to do so much.

“I just... I needed a break. This was nice.”

He smiled at you, calming down. “So this is where you went, huh?” He mumbled, looking at the river.

You yawned and stretched your arms, making Hajime chuckle and pull you off the barrier. “Can I have a piggyback ride home?” You asked, giving him puppy dog eyes. “Whatever.”

He leaned down and you jumped on his back, grinning as you leant down and fell asleep.

Fuyuhiko ~

You were walking to Hope’s Peak with Peko and Fuyuhiko, excitedly showing them your new designs.

“Peko!! What do you think?” You showed her the designs for your clothing brand and she smiled, nodding approvingly. “I think they’re lovely, Y/n!” You grinned and thanked her, before running over to Fuyuhiko. “Hey Fuyu~!” He grumbled and turned around, slowing his pace when he realised he was walking in front of you and Peko. “Do you like it?” He nodded and looked forward again, his eyebrows furrowed. “It looks cool.” You nodded and went back to Peko.

“Any plans soon, Y/n? I’m still up for teaching you some more self defence, if you don’t mind.” Peko asked you, a warm smile on her face. Peko never really smiled at other people, so everyone was always baffled when they saw how gentle she was when she spoke to you, almost like a mom.

As she patiently waited for your response, you tapped your chin. You had made plans to go out shopping with F/n and a couple others today, but you were planning to sneak out of school to do it. “I can do tomorrow, if you’re free?” You replied, earning a nod from her. “You gonna join, Fuyu?” You shouted, making him crane his neck to look at you. “I learned everything when I was younger. You’re just too damn lazy and now you have to do the classes for an extra year.”

You rolled your eyes at his lecture, sticking your tongue out at him.

—————

You ran down the stairs, going past many people you knew. Hopefully no one would strike up a conversation.

“Y/nnnnn!” You sighed as Kaede gave you a big hug, and you hugged her back, waving to Shuichi - who was standing next to her. “Are you planning on skipping class, Y/n?” Shuichi teased as you froze. “Maybe. But if Fuyu or Peko ask anything, you didn’t see me, okay?” They both nodded. “Be safe though, we wouldn’t want to attend a funeral anytime soon.” Kaede giggled, and you let out an uncomfortable laugh.

How did Kaede out of all people, make such a dark joke?

You brushed it off and ran past them into an empty classroom, before opening the window and slipping out - slipping as your feet made contact with the grass.

It wasn’t a graceful landing, but you brushed off your skirt and went to the school gate, to see F/n and a couple others standing there. “Hey! You got the money?” You nodded and gave them ¥150,000 and they thanked you and split it with everyone.

On your way to the bus station, you couldn’t help but think about how worried Fuyu would be, but you really didn’t want a bodyguard following you around while you was with your friends.

5:52PM.

Fuyuhiko growled and slammed his phone down. Where were you? Why wasn’t you answering his calls? Why did you sneak out of school?

Hundreds of questions raced around in his mind and he never had an answer to a single one.

“Master, I’m sure that they are fine-”

Fuyuhiko stood up,breathing heavily. “They could be dead for all we fucking know!” Peko stayed silent, he was right.

Another hour passed, then two hours... everyone was getting frustrated.

Fuyuhiko sat down on a bench and slammed his hand against it in anger. “Master, listen to me.” He looked up at Peko, not bothering to say anything.

“If she snuck out of school on purpose, she’s probably hanging out with her friends. She’s not that irresponsible.”

“She’s right.” You said, walking up to them. “I don’t need a bodyguard everywhere I go, I’m capable of looking after myself.”

“Y/n-” You shook your head, putting a hand up. “Wait, hear me out. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to worry you but I also wanted to prove I can look after myself.”

He didn’t say anything. He just brought you into a tight hug, almost crushing your insides. “Fu-Fuyu, ca-n’t brea-!” He let go, holding on to your shoulders, a stern look in his eyes. “If you don’t want a bodyguard, then I’ll go with you.”

“But that means you’re technically a bodyguard!” You complained, and he walked away, smirking. “Don’t care.”

#fuyuhiko kuzuryu x reader #danganronpa fanfiction #super danganronpa goodbye despair #sdr2 #sdr2 gundham #hajime hinata #hajime x reader #nagito x reader #siblings #anime fanfic #fanfic #hajime imagine #fuyuhiko imagine #nagito komaeda #nagito imagines #danganronpa imagines #sdr2 komaeda

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radiorenjun · 4 years ago

Text

I Don't Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Warnings: mental breakdowns, heartbreak, rejection, major angst, arguments, flashbacks, physical injuries, fighting.

• Wordcount : 8.7 k

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: XI, XII

• A/N: special thanks to @orange-nimon-cross for betaing this chapter. And special thanks to @c-sanshine for being my editor for the past year or two, I hope you enjoy your life of waking up and not expecting 8 screenshots worth of writing

“HE WHAT?”

You bit your lip, wincing at his loud voice. You quickly slammed your palm against his mouth to shut him up. At this point you were wondering if it was a good idea to tell Renjun about the talk between you and Jaemin at his house yesterday.

“Could you be any louder?” you hissed, nervously smiling at your classmates who were staring at the two of you. Renjun’s hand wrapped around your wrist to pull your palm away from his face, frowning at you with a roll of his eyes. “So let me get this straight, two years of treating you as if you’re the bane of his existence and two months of you ghosting him, he suddenly wants to restart your whole friendship?” Renjun emphasized, his brows furrowed.

At that moment you had a flashback of Jaemin’s taken aback expression when you refused, the way he made a downtrodden expression at your words that almost made you take it back the instant you said it. The way you exited his room with a heavy heart, forcing yourself to get out of the house you missed visiting so much. The empty feeling that came when you moved further and further away to what your soul called home.

You let out a heavy sigh, nodding. “Pretty much,” you confirmed, your heart aching at the memory of the way Jaemin’s hopeful expression melted into one that resembles a small child when his mom had thrown out his favourite toy. Well, it kind of felt that way as well, if you were being honest.

“Seriously, I know he’s dumb but I didn’t think he’d be this dumb! Dude, he had no right to come crawling back after breaking that music box. It was your-”

“I know, Renjun. You don’t have to tell me twice. It was my music box, after all.” you snapped back, stopping him from finishing his sentence as Renjun bit his lip, watching as your expression grew dark at his words. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking down at his fingers when he realises he had spoken too much. “It’s fine, just forget about it, alright?” you rubbed your temples, waving him off.

Renjun cleared his throat, swallowing his guilt for bringing up the sensitive topic. “So what did you say?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual. You bit the insides of your cheek, wincing at the memory before mumbling under your breath, “I said no.”

Renjun’s eyes widened. Truthfully, he was proud of you for refusing the bastard. Alhough, he couldn’t help but wonder why you said no. He thought you’d jump at the opportunity to restart your relationship like opening a new chapter to a book. After all, he knew you’ve been dreaming of loving and being loved by your soulmate like the hopeless romantic that you’ve been your whole life. He didn’t expect you to refuse Jaemin’s offer, and by the looks of it, you didn’t either.

“Oh. Is it okay if I ask why?” Renjun asked hesitantly, unsure if he wanted to know the answer. You let out a puff of breath, leaning your head back to keep your tears in painfully aware of your curious classmates. “It hurt, you know. I mean, call me selfish for rejecting my own soulmate but it’s just really unexpected you know?” You started, blinking back your tears.

“Jaemin was my best friend, I knew him like the back of my own hand. And sometimes, he changes his mind on a certain opinion due to peer pressure or because of guilt. A part of me was happy that he wanted to start things over, trust me, I was ecstatic.” You added on, trying to swallow the heavy lump gathering in your throat. “But again, another part of me thought that it was too good to be true, you know? I overthink alot sometimes and it gets me down a lot but-” you paused to close your eyes, rubbing them with your palm to casually wipe off your tears.

“But a part of me didn’t want to believe that he wanted to restart. I don’t know why, I mean, it doesn’t make much sense!” You sat back up, looking at Renjun with an exasperated expression, your eyes red as your mind keeps screaming at you in messy thoughts. “He saw me as the living bane of his existence for almost two years. I loved- I still love him! But he didn’t need my love, hell! He told me that a countless amount of times that he couldn’t see a future with me.” You exhaled, clenching your fists tightly in the pockets of your hoodie.

“Maybe I didn’t want to accept that he wanted to change. So my dumb mind decided to assume things I shouldn’t. Maybe he’s doing this to stop people from looking at him as the asshole who rejected his own soulmate. Maybe he finally gave in from the anxiety and peer pressure. For fucks sakes, maybe he’s doing it because he feel sorry for me. Maybe he’s tired of seeing his former best friend moping around from unrequited love that he decided to force himself back into my life when I’m finally starting to get better.”

You rambled on and on, oblivious to the fact that Renjun was staring at you speechlessly, his brows furrowed in concern. Your pupils shaking as you try to keep your tears back, your head leaning down to look at your feet nervously as you continued to ramble on about the boy who hurt you. The boy who made you feel so much pain. The boy who broke you.

“I don’t want people to love me because other people wants them to. I want Jaemin to lov- to like me for my dumb self. It’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to me. I don’t want to wake up and stand by Jaemin knowing that he’s just doing it because he feel sorry for my pathetic ass,” Renjun cuts you off by tugging the hood of your hoodie over your head, halting you of your frantic rumbles, glaring at a few of your classmates who were starting to look at you questioningly.

You took a deep silent breath, feeling Renjun’s hand lay on top of your head comfortingly as you try to hold back your tears. You were a mess. How did things end like this? How did you end up so broken over losing your best friend?

Why did it hurt so much?

You said ‘love’. But really you don’t know what love is. You’ve never felt love before. Sure, you felt parental love, family love, love in friendships. But what was it like to actually feel loved by the person who was born to do nothing but love you? When did you realise you loved Na Jaemin so much? What made you so attached to him? What had happened to make you so determined to change his mind and forcing him to love you?

Oh who were you kidding? You remembered everything. There isn’t a day that goes by since you realised how much you loved Na Jaemin.

You remembered the first time Jaemin actually made your heart skip a beat was a couple months prior to your birthday, before you got your stupid soulmate tattoo. You two were in your first year of high school. Young, innocent and happy. Life was simple. You had Jaemin by your side, and he had you by his. You were infamous for being attached at the hip, that people believed you were going to be soulmates by the time you get your tattoos.

“Good morning, y/n!” your friend greeted you as she sat on the seat right in front of yours, making you look up from your work book. You had forgotten that you had homework the day before, so you were trying to do all of your 20 numbered homework in the span of 15 minutes right before your teacher arrives to class. Jaemin refused to lend you his homework that night because he was too busy playing games again.

“Hey!” you greeted frantically, giving her a small wave as you aggressively scratch the mistake from your paper with your pen, too much in a rush to take out your whitener and remove the spelling mistake you accidentally made on your paper. “Another day of doing homework before the teacher arrives, huh Y/n?” she chuckled, scanning the work book placed on your desk as you tried to write as fast as you could.

“Indeed, I am. Because a certain someone didn’t want to help me with my homework!” you huffed, attracting Jaemin’s attention from three tables away from you. He turned his head at the sound of you shading him from halfway across the room, halting his conversation with his friends to yell ‘I can hear you!’

“You better!” you shot back, sticking your tongue out at your best friend who just gave you an innocent peace sign. You went back to focusing on your homework with an annoyed huff, blowing out a puff of air as you frantically wrote down the answers to question number 11. Your friend chuckled at the innocent banter, shaking her head at the two of you. “I swear you two are practically soulmates,” she joked. You gave her a menacing glare as you wrote.

“Kidding!” She grinned, waving it off before looking down at your paper, wincing slightly when she saw the answers. But she knew not to tell you since you were already in distress. Instead she peered at you, squinting when she saw something quite off about you on that certain day. “You look different,” she commented.

You didn’t look up from your paper, choosing to nod slightly before sticking your tongue out in concentration. “Uh-huh. What about me looks different exactly?” You asked, licking your lips in concentration as your eyes dart from your textbook to your workbook. “I don’t know, you just look suspiciously off today.” your friend continued with a suspicious hum, examining your features slowly.

“Off?” you muttered mindlessly, scratching off another spelling mistake you accidentally made. “Off how, exactly?” you mumbled once again, paying no mind to your friend looking at you as if she was playing a ‘try to spot the difference’ game. “Wait a minute.” Your friend gasped, dramatically raising a hand to cup her mouth.

You look up at her with a raised eyebrow, your hand still writing sloppily on your paper as you let out a small ‘what?’ in response. “Y/n! Are you wearing lip gloss?!” she exclaimed with a small squeal, causing you to drop your pen in shock. You gaped, not knowing what to respond as your mind spun to come up with some lame excuse to say no. “What?” was all you could say to respond to your friend who couldn’t keep her grin from stretching eye to eye.

“Yeah, you’re definitely wearing lip gloss. Oh my god, little y/n is growing up and wearing make up!” she squealed, the cheeky grin never leaving her lips as she leaned her cheek against her palm, watching you come up with some lame excuse. “I’m not! I swear!” you shook your head vigorously, frantically waving your hands as you tried to wipe of the glossy pigment from your lips, embarrassment flooding your face.

“Oh come on, don’t deny it! I know lip gloss when I see it! You can’t lie to a person who sells lip gloss for a side job, y/n!” she giggled, waving her hand off as you continued to deny it. “It actually looks great on you, not gonna lie. Though you might wanna buy something from my store to see something that would actually match with your whole aesthetic!” she exclaimed causing you to whine.

“I’m not wearing lip gloss,” you muttered shyly, looking down at your homework before picking up your pen with a small pout. “But does it really look good though?” you asked after a few seconds, looking up at your friend who laughed in response. “Yeah! I think a different colour would suit you even more though. I’ll show you my lip gloss stock if you want. And some stores for recommendation, too!” She encouraged with an enthusiastic nod.

You scrunched your nose at the thought of using make up in school. But what can you say? You were a normal teenager 15 year old girl who just wanted to try somethings new after hitting puberty, would it kill you to try on a few light make up cosmetics once in a while?

“Maybe I’ll start using lip gloss more then,” you chuckled, looking up at her confidently which caused your friend to give you an encouraging thumbs up. “Oh my god, you’re actually going to wear make up. I thought that’s never going to happen till you’re at least in your late 30s.” She exaggerated causing you to let out a whine in retaliation, smacking her arm as she giggled at you.

It all happened so suddenly.

Before you could process it, you felt two fingers cupping your chin, turning your head to the side. You froze when you saw Jaemin standing right beside your desk, next to you and your friend with his thumb and index finger holding your chin gently and turning your head to face him. He tilted your head up with a serious expression spread across his face as he concentrated on your face, causing you to flush in embarrassment at the sudden contact.

You and your friend’s eyes widen at his bold move, staring at him with a baffled expression. “J-Jaemin! What are you doing?!” you exclaimed, your hand coming up to his wrist in alarm but making no effort to remove it. There was something comforting in the way Jaemin gently held your chin up at him as his eyes examined your lips, most of the gloss having been wiped off by your hand previously.

You looked up at him in confusion before tensing in his hold when his other hand came up to your face to wipe off the remaining gloss on your lips with his thumb. The rough texture of his thumb swiping over your slightly chapped lips, the gloss now staining his skin as he gently rubbed your bottom lip in feathery motions. His touch so soft and gently you could barely feel it.

In a split second, the comforting feeling disappeared when he pulled away from you with a bashful smile, his ears slightly red at his own actions as he wiped his thumb against the fabric of his pants. He cleared his throat gently as you gaped, still taken aback at the unexpected touch that felt slightly too intimate for two best friends like you should be feeling.

“Don’t wear lip gloss. Or any other make up,” he said at you, his sweet smile making your heart flutter, your stomach still doing somersaults at his previous actions. “You look way prettier without make up. If I catch you wearing make up once again, I won’t hesitate to wipe it off of your face by my own hands again.” he chuckled, coughing to cover how flustered he felt as you bit your lip nervously.

You bit back a smile, nodding at him as you looked down at your shoes. “Whatever you say, Jaemin.” you muttered under your breath, as he snuck his hands into the pockets of his pants. Jaemin bashfully smiled before turning to leave the classroom to the bathroom to get rid off the glittery pink pigment off of his thumb. You coughed, turning to your friend who just stared back at you with her jaw dropped wide open.

She let out a laugh of disbelief, giving you a knowing look as she closed her gaping mouth to form a cheeky smirk. “I stand correct. You two are totally soulmates,” she sing-songed with a shake of her head, turning to her own desk as you let out a soft whine at your friend. “Shut up, I’m literally going to be so pissed if you two don’t end up having the same tattoos once your birthday comes by,” she commented, making you flush in embarrassment.

You gazed at your left wrist, longing to see what your soulmate mark would look like. You let out a flustered smile at the thought of your own best friend having the same soulmate mark as you, a giddy feeling rising up your chest as you stifled a soft giggle. You swallowed down the funny feeling of your heart fluttering and butterflies swarming around your stomach when you heard the door to your classroom open.

A familiar voice boomed through the walls of your classroom. “Good morning, students!” your teacher exclaimed, a pile of books in hand. You glanced back at your half filled paper, panic rising up your spine as you let out a deep breath.

“Shi-”

The memory sent sharp pains into your heart, your wrist burning once again against your skin as you scrunched your face in pain, wiping the tears away with the fabric of your sweater. Renjun sighs as he watches at you sympathetically, wanting nothing more but to take your pain away. But he knew he couldn’t do anything but watch his best friend writhe in pain as you continue to try to move on from being rejected by your other half, hoping that you would get the happy ending you deserved at some point in your life.

He knew he wasn’t going to turn a blind eye if Jaemin tried to hurt you again. He wasn’t going to stand still and let you get hurt,. He was going to give Jaemin a piece of his mind. He was going to make sure Jaemin would think twice before talking to you. He can’t stand watching you break in front of him, leaving him to comfort you and make you stop blaming yourself for something that wasn’t entirely your fault.

It wasn’t your fault you were stuck being soulmates with someone so selfish and inconsiderate. It was the world’s fault. It was fate’s fault. If there was something that Renjun could agree on with Jaemin, it would be how he thought fate was too cruel for putting the two of you together.

You scratched the back of your head as your eyes scanned the seemingly endless row of books on the shelf for that book your friend recommended to you a few days ago. Brows furrowing as you leaned your head up, squinting to see the book you were looking for, using your pointer to spot the title as you slowly stood on your tippy toes before you found what you’re looking for.

You grunted as a hand coming up to support you on the shelf as you attempt to reach the damn book. “God dammit,” you muttered under your breath, huffing as you started hopping to reach the book before looking both ways to see if the coast was clear and lifting your foot up to the shelf to climb it.

“Y/n?”

You paused, slowly turning your head around to see Jaemin poking his head from in between the books from the other side of the shelf across the one you were climbing on. “Jaemin?” you jerked your head to the side to see Jaemin even more clearly, biting your lip at how quick you turned your head at the sound of his voice. “Are you okay?” he asked with a slight chuckle.

Your foot almost slipped at his words before you quickly gripped on the wooden shelf even tighter to regain your tight grasp on it, leaning your body against the shelves even more as you let out a small squeak. “Fine! Just fine!” you exclaimed, giving him a nervous smile before looking up at the book. “Just trying to get a book.”

“Oh, do you need help?” he asked with a sweet smile. You turned away from him, shaking your head. “Nah, I got this covered,” you said, using a free hand to wave him off before reaching for the book. But to your avail, you weren’t even close to touching the damn book. You groaned internally, masking your pain in case Jaemin was still looking.

You turned slightly, trying to see if Jaemin was still watching you from the corner of your eye. To your surprise, he wasn’t. You sighed heavily, relieved that he had left you alone, so that he couldn’t witness your futile attempt, but how were you supposed to get your book now?

Less than ten seconds later, Jaemin came back with one of the librarians’ special stepladders, shooting you a smile as he watch you try to climb the damn shelf. “I knew your short ass would refuse my help so I just went ahead and ask for a stepladder,” he joked, putting the stepladder right beside you before climbing up and grabbing the book himself, watching you frown and climb down the shelf, hopping onto the carpet floor.

He climbed down the steps to stand in front of you, the white book in his hand. “Your book, your highness,” he smiled, handing you the book as you looked down in embarrassment, muttering a small ‘thank you’ under your breath. “What were you doing here anyway?” you asked, looking up at him as you hugged the book to your side.

Jaemin bit his lip shyly, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck as the tips of his ears grew red. “Would it kill me to say I saw you coming here and I followed you because I wanted to see you?” he confessed. You felt your heart jump, feeling yourself getting flustered as butterflies swarmed your stomach.

He’s got to be kidding.

You gulped, biting back a smile before shaking your head as your mind wandered to the events that happened the day before. You slowly released your bottom lip from your teeth before a frown took place across your lips, you coughed awkwardly before nodding at him, trying to cover up how flustered you felt. “No, not at all, but I do think that’s quite concerning,” you commented, clearing your throat.

Jaemin frowned at how your previously flustered expression had morphed into one that displays just how uncomfortable you felt, wondering if he had said something wrong. He tried to pay no mind to it, clearing his throat before speaking up again. “Anyways, what’s that book for? A project or something?” he asked, pointing at the white book he previously grabbed that was now in your grasp. “Huh?” you looked down to see the book in question before your mouth formed an ‘oh’.

“No, not a project. Yeoreum, you remember Yeoreum right? She’s in our History class on Fridays. She recommended me this book to read because according to her, I really need to get my mind off things. I took her word for it and searched for this damn book,” You explained, opening the book before flipping through the seemingly endless pages of words and paragraphs. “Well you must be desperate to take your mind off of things to have to climb up the shelf to get the book,” he chuckled.

You let out an awkward laugh, nodding as you looked away from him, feeling your heart clenching. You both knew what you couldn’t take your mind off of. “I guess you can say that,” you mumbled, your voice trailing off as a soft frown took place across your face once again. Jaemin bit his lip, trying his best to come up with something to keep the conversation going.

You took a step back awkwardly. “I’m just going to get this checked out. I’ll see you later, then, Jaemin.” You waved at him with a tight lipped smile, turning around to slowly walk to the librarian’s desk. Jaemin’s eyes widen slightly, trying to come up with some pathetic excuse to stand by your side. “Wait!” the words left his mouth before his brain could decipher it.

You paused in your step, hesitantly turning your head back to him. “Yes?” you asked almost inaudibly. Jaemin gulped when he realised he had nothing to say, biting his lip as he retracted his hand that he had unconsciously stretched out when he stopped you. “Can I come with?” he asked, cringing at how desperate he sounded.

“You want to come with me to check out my book?” you asked, slightly confused as you furrowed your brows at him. Jaemin opened his mouth, hoping that he would come up with something as an excuse to be with you longer. But to his dismay, nothing came into his mind. Not even a lousy excuse.

He closed his mouth abruptly, avoiding your eyes as he nodded with a shy smile. “But why? Don’t you have practice or something?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. Jaemin gulped at your question, internally debating on whether to lie to you or tell you the truth. He sighed as he remembered how you despise whenever he lies to you and how you can still read him like an open book.

“I just want to spend a little more time with you,” he spoke truthfully.

You felt your stomach do somersaults, as you maintained an emotionless expression to try to cover up how your heart was practically soaring through the skies at the thought of Jaemin wanting to spend more time with you. “Oh.” you mumbled, looking down as you try to conceal how flustered and happy you felt. “Okay then,” you replied almost inaudibly.

He wanted to spend more time with you? What was that suppose to mean? You literally live next door! You have at least one class with each other every day, what more could he want?

You shook the thoughts out of your head, not wanting to get your hopes up. Never again. You didn’t want to think that you had a chance with Jaemin anymore. You’re going to come to terms with reality and move on. Maybe he just wanted to be friends again? I mean, you two have been best friends since you were in diapers. It would be a shame to throw away more than a decades worth of friendship.

“So what are you doing after this?” he asked after a short pause as you both walked up to the librarian’s desk, handing her the white book. “Is that all?” she asked, not sparing the two of you a glance as she scanned the code on the book. You nodded at her before responding to Jaemin, “I’m heading over to Mr Seong’s office, he says he wants to talk to me about the art club or something.”

Jaemin’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, nodding slowly before furrowing his brows in confusion. “I didn’t know you joined the art club,” he exclaimed. You turned your head to him with your eyebrows raised. “What do you mean? I’ve always been in the art club since our second year of high school?” you raised a brow questioningly.

Jaemin’s eyes went wide at your statement, racking his brain as he tried to remember if you had ever mentioned anything about the art club. “Doesn’t ring a bell,” he mumbled, his brows furrowing in confusion. You smiled softly, letting out a soft chuckle. “It’s fine. Renjun got me into it, it’s pretty fun though. I finally get how you feel when you rant to me about practice.” You waved it off, grabbing the book and thanking the librarian before walking out of the library with him along your side.

Renjun, huh?

“You two have been pretty close, huh?” Jaemin couldn’t stop himself, cringing back at how bitter he sounded. You didn’t seem to notice, though as you hummed in response. “He’s there for me when I need him, and I’m there when he needs me,” you replied simply as the two of you made your way to Mr. Seong’s office. Jaemin felt an ache in his heart at how happy it made you when you talked about Renjun, his heart clenching against his chest.

“Also! He taught me how to use acrylic paints properly!” You exclaimed almost childishly, taking Jaemin aback at how hyped you were. Your eyes wideend slightly before taking a step back, giving him a bashful smile. “Sorry, its just- I’ve always wanted to use paint properly without messing it up too much and luckily, I have Renjun to teach me,” you exclaimed with a light laugh, causing Jaemin to give you a tight lipped smile.

“Sorry, I’m getting a little side tracked. Oh, well. We’re here,” you stated, realising how fast time flew when you turned to see that you were both standing in front of the door to Mr Seong’s office. “I guess I’ll see you around, Jaemin,” you waved, knocking on the door softly before poking your head in and stepping into your teacher’s office.

Jaemin stood still in his tracks, staring at the wooden door. The Winnie The Pooh painting from one of the students from his arts class that was hung right beside it felt like it was making fun of him with it’s sinister smile. He stood there in the half empty halfway, gazing down at the floor in an almost depressing way.

It wasn’t suppose to be surprising but the ugly feeling still laid deep down in his heart. The ugly feeling of realising how he’s been replaced by someone else.

“So anyways, I went- hey, is that y/n?” Hyuck pointed, his head turning to the door of the art club. Jaemin turned his head up, gazing away from his phone screen before turning to where his friend was pointing at. “She’s part of the art club?” Hyuck whispered, leaning close to Jaemin as they watched you paint on an empty white banner as you chatted with your friends on the white tile floor through the glass window on the door.

“Yeah, I guess. She told me that, the other day.” Jaemin nodded, not tearing his gaze away by how the light from the sun peering through the window illuminated the room, admiring how the sunshine made it look like as if you were glowing. “Apparently, Renjun got her into it.” he added, his voice trailing off as he leaned his body more to the side to get a better view of your smile, watching as you threw your head back laughing at a joke your friend made.

He had a small content smile of his own as he watched you wipe your cheek with the back of your hand, turning your head when your friend pointed at how you had accidentally smeared yellow paint across your cheek in the process. You took two fingers and swipe them across your cheek, looking back at the yellow now staining your fingers before laughing along with your friends.

“Oh hey guys, what are you doing here?” Jeno smiled, walking over to lay his hand over the handle of the door, involuntarily blocking his sight of you. Jaemin frowned slightly but bit his tongue when he realised Jeno was going to go inside. “Oh hey, Jeno. We were just passing by.” Hyuck nodded, looking at Jaemin who gave him a knowing nod.

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asked curiously, trying his best no to eye Jeno’s hand on the handle of the door. “Oh, I’m just here for voluntary work.” Jeno replied, gesturing the tote bags filled with paints and brushes in his hands. “Voluntary work? I didn’t know you do that?” Hyuck exclaimed, adjusting his spectacles as he eyed the bag filled with paints and brushes.

“Yeah, well. I’m pretty good friends with Yanan, the president of the club and he wanted some help in painting the banners for like some sort of event? I don’t remember, man. I’m just here trying to be a good friend,” Jeno shrugged making Hyuck let out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s so random of you. Are you sure you haven’t been bribed or anything?” he asked, crossing his arms as Jeno rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Hyuck. I’m not you, I don’t do things just because it benefits me, dumbass.” Jeno stuck his tongue out, causing Hyuck to let out a small laugh. “Well, enjoy your little picasso painting session then, Lee Jeno. Me and Jaemin are going to-”

“Hey, can I come?”

The two boys turned to Jaemin with equally baffled expressions and furrowed brows, but the boy beside them wasn’t even sparing a glance at them. However, he was leaning his head to the side as if he was looking through Jeno’s shoulder for something. Or someone.

“Huh? You want to go with him? For what? Painting banners for hours? Dude, I thought you wanted to head to the arcade!” Hyuck exclaimed incredulously, looking at his best friend in disbelief. To his dismay, Jaemin wasn’t even close to paying attention to him, his words turning deaf to the younger boy’s ears. Jeno turned his head to see what he was looking at before letting out a soft ‘ah!’

“Jaemin just wants to hang out with y/n,” Jeno teased, giving the boy a light smirk. Jaemin snapped out of his trance, his pupilss dilating as he cleared his throat. “Shut up, Jeno.” He muttered, eyes avoiding his friends’ gaze to hide how flustered he felt. Hyuck simply tsked at the boy, shaking his head in disappointment. “And I thought you were better than this, you certified simp.” Hyuck tutted, crossing his arms.

“We lost another one,” Hyuck cried out dramatically, receiving a smack on the upper side of his head afterwards from Jaemin who rolled his eyes at the boy. “Are you guys going to help me talk to her or not?” he asked with a tired sigh, running a hand through his hair in distress.

“Didn’t you get rejected the other day? Not to be mean or anything but what if she really doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore?” Jeno asked, a smile on his face but his voice was laced in deep concern. “In other words, you might bug her. You know? Like, back when you were still a total jackass less than a year or two ago,” Hyuck slung an arm around his friend’s shoulder who frowned at his words.

“I want to make it up to her, how am I suppose to make it up to her if she’s not going to talk to me?” Jaemin huffed. “I just really want to be on good terms with her again,” he frowned, guilt glossing over the brown haired boy’s eyes as he stared down at his sneakers. Jeno frowned, sharing a knowing look with Hyuck who gave a silent exasperated sigh before nodding at the older boy in confirmation as if to say ‘fine.’

“Fine, we’ll paint some banners just so you can talk to her,” Hyuck gave in, internally saying goodbye to the arcade after school before Jaemin decided to ask them to basically be his wingman. “Try not to fuck this up, please?” Jeno jokes causing Jaemin to let out a laugh with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. “Chill,” he inhaled.

“It’s not like I’m getting in to annoy her, I just want to talk to her,” Jaemin laughed as Jeno opened the door with a light chuckle. “It’s really cute how you don’t know that they’re literally the exact same thing,” Hyuck chuckled, slipping his hands into the pockets of the jacket he was wearing over his body as they both stepped into the bright art room, the fresh smell of paints, canvases and old brushes filling their senses.

“Jeno! What took you so long?” Yanan, the club president exclaimed, walking up to the three boys in an apron splattered with paint, a few smudges of paint spread across his skin as well. Jeno smiled sheepishly, “sorry, man. I got more people to help though. Guys, you know Yanan, right?” Jeno turned back to his friends who gave Yanan a friendly wave or a casual nod. “Oh hey, Na Jaemin, the football team’s captain, right? Lee Donghyuck from Calculus, right?” Yanan asked, receiving nods from both boys.

“I never knew you two would be into painting or shit,” Yanan cocked his head curiously as Jeno placed the tote bags on the desk nearby. “Yeah, well, you see. Jeno was like desperate because he didn’t want to do this alone.” Hyuck started rambling, making Jeno roll his eyes, grabbing an apron from the supply closet at the back of the room. “He begged and begged for us to join him. And us, being the amazing best friends we were, we had to agree because we can’t bare to see Jeno so upset and lonely. Right Jaemin?” Hyuck smiled sweetly at Jaemin.

Jaemin let out a small sigh, nodding silently as Yanan let out a soft laugh. “Whatever floats your boat,” he chuckled, shoving an apron into each boys’ grasps. “Get started, we don’t have all day. The quicker we can do this, the sooner we can all go home!” Yanan clapped enthusiastically, turning them before shoving them forward to the students who were sitting or laying on the floor as they painted the banners.

“Dude, I don’t even know what we’re suppose to be doing. What are we suppose to paint?” Hyuck exclaimed as he watched Jaemin put on his own apron, tying it around his waist as he stares back at your figure busy painting on different types of flowers on the corners of the banner. “I don’t know, just go with the flow!” Jaemin shot back defensively, picking up a brush of his own as he walked up towards you nervously.

“Hey y/n.”

Your head shot up, eyes widening to see Jaemin’s unexpected figure sitting right beside your laying figure. You were on your stomach as Jaemin sat down beside you, waving innocently and giving you a charming smile that almost caused you to swoon. “Jaemin?” you furrowed your brows in confusion, pulling your brush away from the banner as to not accidentally stain the floral patterns you drew with random paint drops. “What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t like art,” you wiped the wet brush off with a nearby cloth which was already stained with different paint colours before dipping the brush in a cup of water.

“It’s not really my thing but I’m here to help with.. er- whatever this is,” he smiled, gesturing to the banner as he sat up properly, crossing his legs. You raised your brow at him, unconvinced but you weren’t one to judge so you just shrugged and went back to painting. “Okay then, I’m not going to ask,” you muttered, removing the brush from the cup of water before patting it down with the previous cloth before poking the tip into a palette of paint.

“Wait, what exactly are we doing?” Jaemin asked, watching you furrow your brows when you realised you ran out of purple paint. “Uh, something about the banner for next month’s charity event?” You muttered, pressing your hand on the floor before sitting up and grabbing your palette, trying to get as many paint as you can into your brush. “Oh, the one after the game?” he asked, receiving a short hum from you.

“What are you painting then?” he asked, gesturing to the half finished floral patterns on the border of the banner. “I’m painting this one for the gate,” you didn’t even spare him a glance as you turned back to grab a tube of purple paint, smacking the tip against your palm before popping open the lid to squeezing the life out of the bottle. “It looks great, I didn’t know you could paint this well.” Jaemin commented, admiring how pretty you looked with the sun shining over your form, highlighting your pupils.

“Uh-huh-shit! I’m out of purple paint,” you clicked your tongue, beginning to stand up as you shut the lid of the paint bottle. “Hey wait, I can get it for you if you want-” Jaemin exclaimed, beginning to sit up as well but you shook your head at him. “I’m good, I bet Renjun still has some left over. I’ll just go ask him, you can just stay here and help paint or something,” you muttered, tearing your gaze away as you try to spot Renjun from the crowd of students huddling up over their own banners.

“Wait what am I suppose to paint?” he exclaimed when he saw you take a step back. You refrain from letting out a frustrated groan. You’ve been painting these banners for the past couple of hours, you had an exhausting day, you haven’t even finished that essay Mrs. Choi had assigned you to do the other day which was due tomorrow. You were exhausted, you just wanted to get this last banner over with so you can finally pack up and head home.

“I don’t know, Jaemin! Maybe help with the details of the flowers or something,” you snapped back, walking away from him before tucking the paintbrush in the space between your head and your ear. Jaemin frowned as he watched you walk over to Renjun with a polite smile, politely asking him for some paint, only for Renjun to nod and wipe the sweat off of his brow, standing up as he gestured you to head over to the back of the room to check the supply closet.

Jaemin blew out an annoyed puff of air, dipping his own brush in water as he spitefully dipped his paint brush in a can of paint nearby and decided to colour the tips of the leaves with a darker shade of green. “How did it go, lover boy?” Hyuck asked, standing right in front of the sulking boy who gazed up at him with a small pout on his face. “Shut up,” he grumbled, smearing green paint over the soles of the older boy’s shoes, causing him to squeal playfully in response.

“Hi Haechan,” you greeted as you returned to your spot beside Jaemin, laying back down on your stomach on the floor with a soft grunt. “Oh hey y/n,” he nodded, shooting you a warm smile as you proceeded on painting small purple petals. Jaemin cleared his throat, “so you free today?” he asked, eliciting a soft hum from you. “I don’t think so, why?” you responded, furrowing your brows as you stuck your tongue out in concentration.

“Well, I was thinking of getting started on the presentation?” Jaemin cringed at how pathetic his excuse was, biting the inside of his cheek as he carefully watched your reaction. “You know we could just do that thing where we share a document in google docs right? We don’t necessarily need to come over to each other’s houses for a little presentation project,” you chuckled weakly, dipping your brush in a little bit of water to lighten the pigment.

“I know, but my wifi hasn’t been working very well these days,” he lied through his teeth, leaning back against his arms as he clenched his fists behind him. “You know you’re always welcome to use the wifi from my house right? My wifi’s always fine,” you deadpanned, focusing on the miniscule details of the flowers as you spoke.

“Yeah well, I forgot the password,” Jaemin added on. Truthfully, Jaemin often used your house’s wifi whenever his was being crappy ever since you two shared wifi passwords a long time ago. “Dude, you literally use the wifi from my house all the time, stop lying.” You rolled your eyes at him, making small dots in the blank spaces in between the flowers and the leaves.

“Yeah well-” Jaemin sucked in his lips, not knowing what else to say before letting out a heavy sigh. “Would it really be a crime for me to want to hang out with you again?” he asked with a small frown, flipping one of the dried brushes he was previously given in between his fingers. You tensed up at his words once again, frowning simply as you paused your little painting session to try to calm your heart.

“Are you really doing this here? Right now? In front of all of our friends?” you replied shortly, feeling your throat getting dry as you try to ignore his eyes boring into the back of your skull. “What?” Jaemin raised a brow, unfazed as you turned your head to send him a glare. “I’m not having this conversation with you right now, Jaemin,” you frowned, turning your head to do the last finishing touches on your banner.

“Why not? We’re soulmates aren’t we? Aren’t we suppose to communicate to keep a good relationship between us?” he asked with furrowed brows, ignoring the awkward cough your club mate made beside you. You flushed in embarrassment at his words, taking a deep exhale before glaring at him. “Jaemin, just because I was nice to you in the library doesn’t mean you get to say things like that out of nowhere!” you shot back, your eyes going wide in alarm.

“Why not? I’m just stating facts, aren’t I?” he taunted, watching your face morph into an expression filled with hurt and sadness. “Seriously, Jaemin. I’m exhausted right now, let’s not do this today.” You sighed, wiping the sweat off of your brows with your forearm before standing up, wiping the paint smeared all over your fingers against your apron.

You avoided his glare as you turned your head to Yanan. “Hey Yanan, I think I’m done with my part. Can I go home? I don’t feel too good, right now,” you called out, walking away from Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin muttered under his breath, rubbing his face with his palms in frustration. “Sucks to be you, bro.” Jeno patted Jaemin’s shoulder from behind him before walking away awkwardly to wash the dirty brushes in the water cup you previously used.

“He really isn’t giving up, isn’t he?” Renjun asked with a roll of his eye as you both ate ice cream together in your local diner. You groaned, hitting your head on the table, being careful to avoid hitting your ice cream cup. “I really want to give him a chance but it’s too good to be real, you know?” you explained, sitting up before leaning your cheek against your palm as you played with your ice cream.

“I completely understand,” Renjun nodded, taking a spoonful of his ice cream as he spoke. “I personally think you’re right for giving him a taste of his own medicine, it shows how he should be more grateful to the people around him,” he added on, scraping the sides of his ice cream cup before popping the spoon into his mouth, humming slightly at the taste.

You rolled your eyes at him, pointing your ice cream spoon at him threateningly. “I’m not doing this for revenge, Renjun! That’s way off! I really do want to restart things with him but I don’t think it feels right, you know? With the whole tattoo coverage, the ‘no soulmate’ talk and getting rid of my gifts. For two years! Two damn years, Renjun! I’d never thought the tables would turn like this,” you exclaimed, leaning back against the chair as you crossed your arms, popping the ice cream spoon in your mouth to get a taste of your own dessert.

“It just doesn’t sound too right. It seems suspicious, you know?” you mumbled. Renjun clicked his tongue at you, taking another spoonful of his ice cream as he hummed in understanding. “Did something big happen in the past two months to make him change his beliefs like that?” you asked aloud, making Renjun pause when his mind wandered to that time at the mall where he saw Hyuck, Jeno and Jaemin arguing in public at the corner of his eye.

“Beats me.” Renjun shrugged, shaking the memory out of his head. “Maybe he actually does want to change? I really don’t know what to say about this, I’m sorry,” he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke, a smile spreading across his face. You frowned at him, pouting simply as you began to out more thought into the whole ordeal.

“I don’t know if you noticed. But he’s been being a cheesy romantic around me! Hell, he stopped covering his soulmate tattoo! He’s publicly admitting how we’re soulmates! If that’s not suspicious then I don’t know what is!” you exclaimed, making random motions with your hands exasperatedly. “It’s as if the roles have been reversed!” you added, groaning in distress as Renjun watches you stress on about this while casually eating his ice cream.

“I admit, that is quite peculiar and ominous of him. This is just proving my alien theory even more,” Renjun jokes, letting out a light laugh before you sent him a threatening glare. “Shut up, I’m serious! Come on, I’ve bugged him about this for two years to the point he broke that special music box and embarrassed me in front of both of our parents that night to get it through my head. And when I finally leave him alone, he’s started to act like when I found out we were soulmates for the first time,” You furrowed your brows, scrunching your face as your heart started to ache at the brief memory.

Renjun frowned at the mention of that dinner, remembering the first time you called him crying and sobbing your eyes out over the phone. “You know, if you’re really that uncomfortable with it. Have you tried to tell him to stop?” he asked, cocking his head to the side curiously. You nodded, “dude, he even started giving me daisies! Daisies! It’s sweet, really, it is. But it just hurts, you know? What if he’s only doing this for the sake of making other people happy? What if he’s just tried of everyone talking about how he’s probably the only human being in the world to reject his own soulmate?” you rambled.

Renjun frowned as you started to ramble on and on, your eyes becoming glossy as you continued to speak out. “Why are you looking at me like that?” you frowned, furrowing your brows when you see Renjun just casually eating his ice cream while staring at you with a face void of emotion. “I’m just casually listening to the random bullshit spewing out of your mouth,” he replied with a shrug, stirring his ice cream with his spoon.

You frowned. “Rude. Here I am complaining about my deteriorating love life while you’re just enjoying your damn ice cream.” You scoffed, crossing your arms with a small pout. “I know, I’m an amazing best friend.” he grinned, scooping up the remains of his ice cream before popping the spoon into his mouth. “I’m just saying. I’m really concerned for you and all but the more this goes on, I’m starting to view this as some kind of terrible k-drama.” he giggled.

“Really? Just a couple days ago you were looking at me as if I was some dying patient. Now, you’re making fun of my life, this is just getting sad,” you grumbled, rubbing your temples in distress. “Well, if you’re really that uncomfortable, then ask him to stop. I’m sure he has some brain cells left in that brain of his to understand,” Renjun advised, making random hand motions to emphasize his words.

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head ‘no’. “You know very well I hate confrontation. Plus, it’s going to take a toll on my heart, it really hurts, you know?” you leaned on the table, crossing your arms on the table before putting your chin on your arms. “This is going to sound dramatic and cliche but I just want things to go back to normal, you know? I’m tired of feeling so much pain everyday,” you drew random lines on the table with your pointer finger, sighing heavily.

Renjun bit his lip as he watched you close your eyes in content, basking in the calming atmosphere between you two with furrowed brows. His mind lost in thought as he let out a soft sigh of his own, wondering what he could do to help you.

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