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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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Grief and anger hand in hand
Dust belongs to Ask-Dusttale Death’s Doorstep (this band AU) belongs to me
Lyrics from I Am My Own Muse by Fall Out Boy
#Hehe. lore and such#Very very happy with this one I tried some different stuff and I think it worked well#Armageddon art#death’s doorstep#dust sans#dust!sans#dusttale sans#Undertale AU#sans AU#AU sans#utmv#Murder sans#This is when he’s in high school. Right after his brother died#I could write something more in depth but I am Tired#essentially he’s got a lotta shit going on and he#impulsively ran out to his garage and destroyed his guitar right there#cause so much was out of his control and he fucking hated it#And he was mad at too many things. And he was going through it he wasn’t thinking#idk how to explain it without it sounding stupid my brain is half dead /nsrs#also this. Like I said. Takes place several years before the “main” plot of the DD stuff#so I know this guitar looks like the one I usually draw him with#and that’s cause I fucked up with my last highschool-era piece and gave him the same guitar as the present#so let’s say he destroys this one first. Goes through two more. Then eventually ends up with another that looks just like this one#idk if that made sense. Hopefully#OKAY shutting up now my bad#Eye strain#tw eye strain#cw eye strain
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As I said I would, I drew my oc with yours my beloved @clawdouobit
My pretty girl likes to infodump your pretty girl about the smallest things. She's like a reel, talks a lot but most of it is meaningless.
Close ups and more info because I can't shut up ehtier under the cut <3
20 years old and engaged to a half-foot. They're waiting to gain some more money to get married and leave the dungeon. Note: they're best friends but idk if what they have going on is truly romantic love or just a very good friendship.
Quite skilled at upper levels, but wouldn't go to lesser levels. She isn't skilled enough to make her party survive there.
Her race is a mix between gnome and half-foot. Idk if that's possible but I don't think it's not.
If I had to guess, she's 13/14 on half-foot standars. It's unclear whether she's an adult or not, but she's preety mature most of the time. Most.
Flushed cheeks always. Also very pale.
She's 109 cms tall, a lot more than avarage on haflings, but lot less than avarage on gnomes. Since she hangs out mostly with haflings, she's a giant woman. This gives her some problems with traps so her BMI is 18 due to diet.
Fwens with Shahad. Who knows why tho. We gotta figure that out ;}
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi oc#dungeon meshi oc#never thought i'd make an oc for a fandom again but here am i#shahad is so cool#she wears pretty jewlery#i love her design so much#but i hate drawing kobolds ooouugh i struggled but did it :')#they're so fwens#the divorced traumatized kobold and the little to-be braid she found while dungeoning#pimpacci can shut up when asked. for about 10 minutes at least.#i have 2 other dunmeshi ocs i made alongside her but i think Shaad would get along better with Pimpacci#because she's really kind and caring. but doesnt realizes her talking can get tyring/annoying.#while making her i noticed all haflings cover their necks on the dungeon. i wonder why. i gave her a scarf to match the thing#shaad#pimpacci lukes#i had so many trouble coming up with her name#i had to make it sound like two names mended together that don't tire the tounge because its too long to say it..#she gets really annoyed when someone calls her “Pim” because of cultural things.#also. she's often infintilized. many hafling don't know she's a mixed race. so she just looks taller and more childish than others her age#it doesn't bother her. she doesn't realizes most of the time. she doesnt infintilizes herself on purpose. she's just younger on perspective#yay#i need shahad and pim to have late night hours talks. it would be so interesting..#i should be asleep lol#my oc#my art#i've made a mistake on shahad eye colour... too late but... grr ...
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lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.
#mostly like. i feel so alienated out for like. having such different views of chars.#dark choco is a char i find myself to relate to a lot. i see so much of myself in him.#and yet. i cant get fully interested and that makes me feel. am i even a true fan of his character#if my interpretation is so vastly different from the fandoms#and how his kingdom is probably my least favourite out of all the ancients' kingdoms#for how i feel like ppl and the narrative tend to forget how dark cacaos kingdom is so flawed.#like the whole “no sweet meals” thing. i am not talking abt irl influences and how it impacts the presentation of the kingdom but more like#i feel like ppl tend to perfectionize dark cacao kingdom while ignoring a ton of systematic issues in it.#then theres my opinion on hollyberry. i love her. shes my favourite ancient. but i wish we got a more serious storyline with her#im not all catched up on the lore but i just wish rlly wish we got more of the hollyberry kingdom. and see holly display a wider range of-#-emotions.#i hope the eternal sugar update will get us some hollyberry kingdom angst because i need some more serious characterization for her that r-#-not just snippets#then theres. white lily. i feel like im the only person who liked the fact white lily got her own kingdom and was split into two versions.#it DID come out of nowhere but like. i feel like its sort of more interesting than just white lily being fully DE?#her update was a fiasco with how shadow milk stole the show that was meant to be hers.#but like. so many of my opinions are different than the fandoms that i just cant help but feel like an intruder sometimes#i dont want to sound like a pick me or someone who thinks they r special for being different. because im not.#i do not like this feeling. but i needed to be open abt it ig#cookie chat#theres also like. the lack of proper characterization for carrow besides “good loyal soldier”.#that annoys me as hell too#fyi i DO NOT hate dark cacao kingdom to be clear. i love it a ton. the cultural influences are so interesting and i love the setting.#i just wish ppl didnt brush off a lot of systematic flaws abt it.
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⠀⠀why can’t life always be this easy?
#⠀⠀🍒⠀⠀koqen⠀⠀/⠀⠀mbs⠀⠀#lee minhyuk#or rather..#park taesong#RIGHTTT!#anw ive been SQUNTING at this idek anymore. hes just#euhhhghghhhhh i hate him#i dont Btw....#the blurriness of it all is bec. idk he js feels so (this is gnna sound SO corny) like. a memory???????#HEAR ME OUTT if LOOPiN is a time loop then he would b the beginning. the better days. if there were any#and taesong js feels like the one that’s stuck in the past to me 😭? he’s the type of the guy to be like#‘i want things to go back to the way they were’ and then when u ask well what Were they like.. he just flounders#stuck in a past you never lived OHH YOURE A LOSER! me too#+ THE FLASHING LIGHTS LYRICCC that one just YELLED taeng at me from a window like. idk why but yeah#the blues and yellows are for LOOPiN duh! & i didnt realise how many cars were in it until just now so let me make up an explanation 4that#he can cry in cars. he was in a car that one time. he wants. Driving? Driving back to memories. The word drive has connotations of...#i jst like night aes and blue lights pics from car windows sorry oomf. ALSO SORRY IF IM TOTALLY WRONG ABOUT HIM LOVE YOU 😭😭🫶#messy moodboard#monsta x moodboard#blue moodboard#random moodboard#kpop moodboard#kpop bg moodboard
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With the heavy caveat that I know people put their heart and soul into this show, having watched 6 seasons of this shit now, The Dragon Prince is just this to me
I root for this show as if it was my child’s little league team playing against the Dodgers. Like, they have the spirit, certainly. Can they actually hit a fastball going over 100mph? I think not.
#ok tag rant kiddos get ready#tdp in the beginning was cute- competent- passable kids media that was genuinely entertaining if silly to watch#like yall it was endearing at first but now— i don’t think they know WHY things worked in avatar#and don’t get me wrong#it has SO much potential#i WANT it to be good#it THREATENS WITH A GUN to be good#and then it trips on itself#which is so sad because all the pieces are there- then they make the most BAFFLING plot/character decisions#i pity the crew making it because 1) bts coming outta there kinda sounds like hell#and 2) making the netflix-style release schedule show is so deeply challenging and detrimental to its shows#idk i’ll rant more coherently later but damn#i hate to see so much passion squandered or lessened by just a top-down lack of ability to organize and execute#am i 24 and watching this? yeah. but not as a mere fan: im peer reviewing#this is such a late 2010’s-2020’s show like damn#there’s just too much going on#but god dammit if there aren’t so many talented people OBVIOUSLY pouring their all into it#some of whom I’ve followed for a while!#i just wish the show had the chance to live up to its potential#and didnt parrot avatar’s flirtation with darker themes in children’s media without understanding why it worked or what lines you cant cross#also rayla and callum are like… kinda gross imo. but that’s just me I guess#this is my new game of thrones if they wanna name an episode where no one dies ‘the red wedding’
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I’m honestly surprised that people are saying Keanu reeves is a bad choice despite the popular fan discussions about it. Where I’m at in the internet, he’s considered a good choice and people were excited.
i cant speak for everyone obviously but ive always thought he was a bad choice for shadow ever since the idea started going around 2 years ago. because from what ive heard personally he doesnt really sound like shadow + i hate it when big movie stars are given voice acting roles in movie adaptations just to have a big name attached to the project even if theyre not good for the role. and this definitely feels like that. back in the day people were only saying he should be shadow NOT because his voice actually fits but because hes an edgy action guy or whatever and movie sonic is canonically a fan of him/his movies and they could make jokes out of that. and i feel like thats Still what a lot of peoples reasoning is which annoys me because shadow isnt just an edgy action guy and i dont think his voice should be chosen based on a joke of all things especially if the voice isnt fitting enough to justify it
not gonna say my opinion is the most popular but i know that there are a lot of people who agree with me on this, or at the very least are unsure about it. a lot of people dont want him
#i also have to wonder how many people who wanted keanu or are excited about the supposed casting are actual sonic fans ....?#like im not trying to gatekeep or say anybody whos said he'd be a good fit is a fake fan or whatever#but . ive seen a lottt of dedicated sonic fans and people who are very familiar with shadow say they hate this#in fact most if not all people ive seen saying theyhate it are in that category#and ive also seen a lot of people whos interest in sonic ranges from very very casual to practically nonexistent comment on this too#and theyre the ones who only have positive things to say and think this is an epic win or something#so i have to wonder how popular a choice it is among not so casual sonic fans. particularly ones who really like shadow#compared to how popular a choice it is among the general internet#and not to be mean but i honestly think that actual fans' opinions matter more than random internet users' with this sort of thing lmao#asks#i suppose theres no way to know for certain right now if his voice would fit#since theres no clips of him specifically doing the voice that he would give to shadow#but. from what i personally have heard. he doesnt sound like shadow to me#not even in a ''different take than what im used to but still fits the character'' kind of way. just doenst work at all
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when the disability is actually disabling and not just funny jokes
#personal#i haven’t been keeping up with applying for jobs#because i can’t do too many major activities at once#and since i had an internship my brain chose ‘internship and video games’ as the things#now i’m sweating in my parents’ house about to drop at least a week of time on the new ffxiv expansion while my mom has a panic attack#because she thinks i’m having a repeat of my 2018-2019 postgrad depressive episode and won’t apply for jobs#when actually i just couldn’t mentally handle doing three things at once instead of two#i don’t know how to explain this to her without it sounding like an insane lie#like i AM gonna do it. it’s just that i’m looking at my several hundred unread emails and shaking like an abused dog#i need to get out of here but that requires doing the apps and to do the apps i need to finish dawntrail and to finish dawntrail i need to#get her off my back by showing her progress and to do that i need to work on apps#i’m gonna throw up i hate it here (my brain)
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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me @ Disney: make Smelly Gabe a sculpture or Mickey fucking gets it
#funny because Mickey and Minnie will soon be public domain#i really hate the way gabe just. sounds impressed when percy says he got expelled for assaulting a classmate#i've rewatched too many times and every single time#i notice something that makes gabe seem more and more shitty#i wonder if disney will actually go through with his abusive step father arc#because disney is too weak to actually show impactful storylines#i'll be mad if they don't because it's so important#also you might've seen a post similar to this before and that's because i deleted that one#wasn't happy with it#i was among the people who were surprised at the changes in gabe's character#i just thought he was pathetic and wasn't sure if the statue-ification in the finale would work then because he was different from the book#but you can see how unhappy percy is to be returning home because he knows he'll have to see gabe too#and i'm glad there's so many posts on here talking about how his character is still an asshat#because him not reacting much to percy sassing him out blindsided me#honestly grateful to those posts because they really do put things in a new light#ok i'll stop being annoying in the tags now#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv spoilers#isoceratops
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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I will not give up on my love
#like. I'm not gonna stop loving the things I love just becayse a switch flicks in my fickle feelings and makes me feel like I don't#love them anymore. idk why this happens#but I've lost far too many interests/hyperinflations/things that I do honestly genuinely love to stuff like this#and like. feelings lie. I don't actually hate the sound guy just because I feel like I don't ever want to think about him again#in fact I actually still want to be friends with him!!#I don't suddenly Not Like the music I like because I feel Weird about it. I'm#I've just gotta kinda push through I think. because I don't want to lose all these things. there's no reason for me to feel like this#idk I'm just. a mess. I just want to hang onto stuff. I hate how I move on from things and then hate them#so I'm Choosing to Not do that this time#Lu rambles
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🐁☁️🌫️
#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant#nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it#it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer#ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know#it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are#but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom#bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park#i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that#i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none#my sisters havent talked for me in over a year#and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w#nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao#i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots#i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol?????#im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay#and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like#when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!!#im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing?#other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing?????#and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things#i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))
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ppl always say that autistics don't get jokes but honestly when has a neurotypical person ever clocked the fact that I've told a clearly telegraphed joke like. I'm the one who takes everything too seriously?
#like one time i was playing mario party with some (ex)friends#and someone said something abt 'i should be winning bc im playing as a princess' clearly joking right#so i tried to add on with a CLEARLY joking voice like 'um acktually im playing a GODDESS so'#like i was clearly talking in a dumb voice for the joke#and everyone was like 'don't be like that dude you're being too egotistical abt this :/' LIKE WHERE WAS I BEING SERIOUS THERE#ALSO. I DID NOT START THAT JOKE??? AND I WAS IN *THIRD PLACE* LIKE I WASN'T GETTING A FUCKING EGO WHAT???#anyway i don't talk to any of those people anymore bc they did this on multiple occasions#like can. can we PLEASE learn how to do a 'yes and'#everyone else would get to participate with jokes! but when i tried i was 'getting too serious abt it' TELL ME WHERE THAT SOUNDED SERIOUS#but nooooo autistic people don't KNOW how to be funny right!!!!#shut up im the most hilarious person in the room you all just hate disabled ppl#(they did. they did hate disabled ppl. once i started getting too physically disabled leave my house they all ghosted me)#like i was like 'hey can we maybe hang out at my place since i can't leave my bed much'#and would either be told 'no i don't feel like hanging out today' (when they were talking abt plans to hang out already??)#or 'sorry i don't like ur apartment for (arbitrary reason)'#and they were arbitrary reasons bc they were fine with other friends' houses that had the same 'problems'#and like they'd just constantly tell me to my face that i was boring or awkward to be around#like maybe I'm boring bc you make an effort not to include me ever so i never know what's going on?#and like. it's not like they ever made an effort to learn abt us. when we tried and tried so many times to come out abt things#we'd literally get no response then get our messages steamrolled by a new conversation hours later#and ppl would be like 'i didn't see those!' YOU were the one who spammed my messages out of the chat dude
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I was on board for the season 1 nostalgia circle jerk (ily Seven ❤❤❤), I could even overlook the Interesting "put him in a scifimagic flesh & blood android body that will have zero further consequences to either Picard's personal journey or the greater scientific reality of such an invention" choice, but season 2 skywalker family legacy "Picard's ancestor is so important that she needs a secret time agency body guard thatfornoreasonlooksliketheladyhehasawilltheywonttheywith" baloney is not doing it for me. The entire season so far coulda been a TNG Q/time travel shenanigans 2-parter. Best part is the toxic yuri between Borg Queen and doc "we've got bad Marvel one-liners at home" jurati, otherwise I'm sadly getting pretty bored with Picard.
#i thought the nutrek hate was mostly typical disproportionate nerd rage but unfortunately the disdain seems largely deserved#even though it almost discouraged me from watching trek further bc of how cw show the writing is i am glad i watched discovery first lol#because i like cw slop sometimes and there was much i liked/had potential. and many moments i thought to myself 'that sounds#wrong or dumb but idk enough lore to know or be mad' that i with my new knowledge yeah id be mad about & it would have ruined the watch#i was mad enough about the Boring Gays Keep Getting Resurrected thing & other technical storytelling choices#and the aged-like-milk (despite already being apparent in 2018 that he was a hack) elon references lmao#speaking of skywalker bs this unnecessary heist insert is giving last jedi 😬 snoozing into my cereal rn!#seasons are too short for good fun filler episodes yet the entire season feels like one big bad annoying filler episode#ayeyaya..... anyway taking bets w myself if seven & raffi kiss onscreen or will s1 finale finger-entwinement be the only lesbian activity#dani talks about tv
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if you're still doing glass. I had a dream you drew a glass eye so
I mean. Where am I going with this. I need sleep.
Le requests are le closed. Glass bomb ended some days ago, sorry
I'm not sure if you're using the dream as an excuse to make a request or if it's genuine but like. Dude watch your sleep schedule take some care-
#once im done finishing the glass ill be opening requests tho. the bomb was fun! and i hope it was fun for everyone else too haha#i just have to think about what could be next. a side of my wants quartz because i hate myself but fossils sounds so much better#also made an obsidian base so that could be fun too#ough so many things i wanna draw so few arms#ask#anon
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