#too lazy to add to main tag future me will suffer

[cconfusedkat]

The very difference between the eldest sibling vs the youngest brother (shamura and heket are wearing the same thing , kallamar is wearing something too much for a beach trip , and leshy looked like he just came back from a tourist shop /j)

No but i dont think leshy should wear that color combination but i sorta have a clue for narinder ? Ik what to do for goat and lamb now and im looking up some mermaid inspired two piece set for kallamar ,, bc Why Wouldnt She Wear Mermaid Inspired Things

[setsuna-maru]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, 半妖の夜叉姫 | Hanyou no Yashahime | Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon (Anime) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha) Characters: Rin (InuYasha), Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Zero (Hanyou no Yashahime), Riku (Hanyou no Yashahime), Jaken (InuYasha) Additional Tags: Pre-Hanyou no Yashahime, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Dreams and Nightmares, Angst, Pregnancy, Horror Elements Summary:

Rin and Sesshoumaru have embarked on the life of expectant parents to hanyo twins but not everyone is happy for the devoted couple. In the shadows awaits a spider whose venomous bite will both rekindle old nightmares and create entirely new ones.

Zero, still resentful from the Inu no Taisho's rejection and death hundreds of years earlier, schemes to bring down his son Sesshoumaru and his human bride.

All the while, the ill-fated pair will make the most of their fleeting time together, forging a unique path and dancing to their own rhythm.

Chapter 1: the night bandits/venus; the star love, who waits for the moon

nocturne one: the night bandits

(in the darkest point of night, I want you to be here like before...)

 It’s as though Rin has been sent back in time, for she finds herself walking around her old village; a small child once again. She's having trouble coming to terms with the sudden reversal. Looking down at her body she sees tiny, bare feet and a distinct lack of womanly curves. Her kimono is one she remembers well but hasn't worn in many years. A pinkish-red garment that wraps around her lithe, diminutive frame as she brushes her now child-sized hands across it in confusion and disbelief. Her view of her surroundings is that of a child’s too; once more knee-high to the rest of the world, she must gaze upwards at seemingly everyone and everything she comes across. 

  This isn't right  , she thinks. We're all those years just a dream? Had she never really grown up? Had  Sesshoumaru-sama  been merely a dream? All of her adventures? The time spent living with Kaede-sama in the miko's village? It's heartbreaking to think that the entire life that she lived since leaving this place might never have actually happened at all. She wonders, sadly,  what about her babies? An expectant mother—the last she remembered—at the age she's regressed to, motherhood could be enacted only with dolls and her own imagination.

 She idly wanders the village, re-visiting all the old landmarks of her childhood. She passes the paddy fields, the fish preserve, the drunken old hermit who always sat beside the same rock with a bottle of sake clutched in his hand. When he drank he liked to sing songs about the good old days and he sings the same one each time she passes. “ That’s the sound of a million ships/ just sailin’ away/it can feel like before/comin’ through, either way.”  At one point, Rin even comes upon the dilapidated shack that she'd lived in after becoming an orphan. She enters it and there’s a wolf, curled up asleep on her bed of straw and she swiftly but silently backs away until she’s on the main pathway again.

 She remembers how to get to her childhood home; knows the path like the back of her hand. She chooses to avoid it; backtracking or taking a sudden swing in the opposite direction when she realizes she’s getting too close. It’s as if returning there would mean accepting that her life since the death of her family had been nothing more than an illusion. She’s not ready for that. She’s still in denial, thinking that if she turns the right corner she’ll end up back under a tree; her head in Sesshoumaru’s lap, their hanyo twins growing in her womb. It’s as if the village itself is waiting on her to accept her retrogradation; the villagers do not speak to her or seem to even acknowledge that she’s there. It’s like she’s caught in some strange limbo; unable to rejoin this world but prevented from moving on. She floats through the village like a spirit who does not belong there anymore. A stranger in a body she can't accept as her own; merely the puppeteer of it's bird-like, underdeveloped limbs.

 Eventually, the world gets tired of waiting for her while she wanders around in circles and Rin is deposited into her childhood home. She had taken a left at the singing hermit (“ That’s the sound of a million ships/just sailin’ away/it can feel like before/comin’ through, either way.”) and walked directly into the cozy wooden house of her youth. Her mother is sitting in the middle of the room,  tending to the fire pit. Her brothers play a game in the corner. Her father has dozed off on the straw mat, exhausted after a long day.

 Her mother adds another log to the burning flames and addresses her daughter. “Rin, don’t be lazy. You’ve been mucking around for years now. Enough is enough. Come help your  Oka .”

 Rin’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Her mother  knew; knew Rin had been gone for  years. How could she have let her mother think she’d abandoned the family like that? What kind of daughter was she? Why would she ever—

  None of this makes any sense. She’d had every reason to believe that her family were dead and gone forever. She’d  watched  them die. It had seemed so real; her most painful memory. The one that had continued to haunt her for long after. She'd watched these people  die  but here they were, nonetheless.

 She looks at her now-living family and wants to feel happy. That horrible night; the screaming, the stabbing, the blood—It had all been just some terrible dream. And now, they’ve been given a second chance. She could look forward to the future where her family was alive and they could all be together again.

 But, despite telling herself this, Rin can’t muster up a single feeling of happiness at the sight in front of her. It was like looking at ghosts. Ghosts that don’t even realize they’re ghosts.

  Dead dead dead.  All of you are  dead, she thinks.

 A bright, orange light starts to emit from outside. Rin turns around. There’s light emitting from the lone window at the front wall and from a bright square that has formed around the doorway.  She goes over and pushes the doorway curtain aside to see what’s going on but the light is so bright it nearly blinds her. She reaches an arm up to cover her eyes as she lets the curtain fall.

 When she opens her eyes again, everything is dark. She's still in her family's old house but it’s almost pitch-black and she struggles to make out the forms of her parents and brothers, asleep under their covers. The orange glow begins to peek through the window again and the room is gradually illuminated with the color—the color of flames, she realizes.

 Against the far wall, the orange light begins to morph into distinctive shapes. Hulking men in armor with weapons in their grasps. Behind her she can hear the stomping of horse hoofs and the cries of the neighbors. The orange glow illuminates the entire room now, in a mockery of daylight. The light is oppressive and overly luminescent and makes it seem as though the house could explode into flames at any second.

 The stomping noise is now dangerously close and Rin dives out of the path of the doorway moments before men on horseback crash through the front wall of the house. It's instant chaos as the horses neigh loudly, the men shout and her family screams as they scramble out of bed.

 Rin’s only instinct is to escape. It makes her feel like a terrible coward but she knows she'll surely be killed if she stays. The bandits have already started on her parents. One of them roughly grabs her mother, yanking off the kimono she'd been sleeping under and stabbing her with a long spear. The painful howls emitting from her mother’s mouth are even more awful to hear than the sight is to witness.

 She needs to get away. Praying the chaos will be enough to allow her to get out of the house unnoticed, she props herself up on her hands and knees and crawls as quickly and quietly as she can to the doorway. As soon as she makes it outside, she climbs to her feet and breaks into a run.

 Her escape doesn't bring safety though. It did, once. In a memory she no longer trusts was ever real.

 The bandits are everywhere. 

 There's no direction she can run to avoid them. While she stands immobile in the middle of the village, desperately considering her dwindling options, the bandits begin to notice her. They point and yell. "The little girl, let's take her too!"

 "Grab her before she gets away!"

 "Kill her if she tries to resist!"

 "Kill her anyway!"

 They begin to advance on her and Rin can think of only way she could possibly be saved.

 "Sesshoumaru-sama!" She screams. But it's too early. He doesn't know her yet. If he ever really existed at all. If he wasn't just a dream she'd made up in her mind.

 "Sesshoumaru-sama!" She screams again. She screams his name over and over again until she feels the bandits blade in her side and the moist flow of blood as it drips down her skin.

 tarantella one: venus; the star love, who waits for the moon

(when you go, do you miss me?)

 Rin's eyes snap open and in her first few manic moments of consciousness, Rin bolts to a sitting position and pulls her kimono up to examine her leg. The sensation of something wet on her thigh is still there. A quick exploration with her fingers confirms this and her heart drops. She pushes more of the fabric out of the way to get a better view and her eyes land on the trail of blood running down her leg.

  Real, real, it was real, she thinks as she frantically searches for a wound. Something had really hurt her,  stabbed her,  and now she was going to bleed out on the forest floor. In her distressed state, she ignores what should be the curious lack of pain if she had indeed suffered a flesh wound. Instead, she continues to look for evidence of the deep cut she’s convinced is somewhere on her body.

 "Rin," a low, deep voice breaks into her panicked thoughts.

 "Calm yourself.” Sesshoumaru leans down on one knee beside her, his clawed hand coming to cradle her chin.

 “The bleeding just started. I smelled it and was about to wake you." The voice is measured but laced with concern. She was one of the few people who have recognized the nuance.

 It’s such a relief for Rin to hear that voice. Just hearing his voice and being in his presence grounds her and she allows herself to accept that the experience had only been a nightmare and she's now safely back in the real world.

 She  was  bleeding, though. Rin examines her leg closer. She's calmer now but still disorientated from the nightmare. Not completely back to reality just yet.

 "Rin was having a nightmare," she says. "Someone stabbed me in my leg. There was so much blood," she explains.

 "There's no wound," Sesshoumaru reassures her. "It was just a dream. The bleeding; it’s from your cycle.” His keen sense of smell meant he could accurately judge the difference.

 She gulped nervously. “Do you think the babies are alright?”

 “It’s probably nothing to worry about,” he reassures her again, although they’re both well aware that he’s hardly an expert in the subject.

 This isn’t the first time this has happened to her. Rin had been a midwife-in-training and knew that women were supposed to cease bleeding during pregnancy, so when she’d bled the first time after knowing she was with child she’d panicked, believing she was having a miscarriage. Sesshomaru had had to rush her to the nearest human village so she could be told by a jaded local midwife with an obvious distaste for human-yokai relations that she hadn’t suffered a miscarriage. Apparently, continuing to bleed even while pregnant was normal and didn’t necessarily indicate a problem. Though, even with this information, Rin still found herself becoming anxious each time it happened subsequently.

 “Rin is going to the pond to clean up,” she says, rising to her feet. “Will you wait here until I come back?” Her nightmare had greatly disturbed her and she really doesn’t want to return to find herself alone.

 Sesshoumaru nodded and Rin began to walk toward the pond. Another stream of blood rolls down the length of her thigh and she holds her kimono and her underlayer up and away from her body. They were already slightly bloodied and she doesn’t want to risk staining them further.

 It’s still very early in the morning. The sun has yet to come up and Rin has to strain her eyes to tell where she's going and walk slowly so she won’t trip over anything. Treading barefoot across the lush field at such an ethereal hour, she’s able to relax slightly. The stark, cool sensation of dewy blades of grass catching between her toes is refreshing compared to the warm, sticky blood that drips down her legs.

 Rin wonders if the nightmares about her family’s death will ever go away completely. They had become significantly less frequent over the years and she’d gotten to the point where she could go months without having one at all. But they always returned. There seemed to be no comfort in the entire world, not even the devotion of Sesshoumaru-sama himself, that could keep them at bay.

 She reached the pond and stripped off her kimono, leaving herself clad only in her hadajuban. She carefully rinses the blood out of the cloth and then sets it aside. Splashing some of the pond water onto her legs, Rin cleans the sticky liquid from her skin. Once she finishes, she picks up her kimono and begins to walk back before pausing to admire the sky. Dawn would be breaking soon; the first hints of sunlight were peeking out over the horizon, leaving only the brightest stars still visible.

 “Beautiful, isn’t it,” a man’s voice, unfamiliar to her ears, breaks into her reverie.

 Rin jumps a little, startled. She’d had no idea anyone else was even out there. Even though it’s still quite dark, she pulls her dampened kimono back on. It would be improper for a married woman like herself to be seen in her hadajuban by someone who wasn’t her husband. Once she’s convinced she’s decent enough, she darts her head around in search of the voice's origin. Blinking into the fading darkness, she spots a figure perched atop a rock at the edge of the pond.  Had that person been there the entire time?

 Rin could just make out the man’s appearance. He was fairly tall, with chin-length hair and wearing a dark kosode under a lighter colored haori and a pair of striped hakama. Despite addressing her, the man wasn’t looking towards her. Instead, his gaze was fixed on the lightening sky.

 “That bright planet that hangs up there on early mornings like this; do you know the name of it?” he asks her.

 Rin looks back to the sky, where one star burned bigger and brighter than any of the others.

 “Oh,” she says, “‘that’s ‘the metal star’ isn’t it?” That was the name that Rin had known it by, although Miroku-sama had told them other names for it he had been aware of, like Jīn-xīng and Shukra Graha.

 “Venus; the morning star,” the man says, eyes transfixed on the celestial object in question.  “The star of love.”

 Rin was intrigued by the man’s description. She could understand why it would be called ‘the morning star’ but...

 “Why, ‘the star of love?’”

 “There exists a far-off land called Rome,” he tells her, “where they ‘do as the Romans do’ as they say!” He says this with a laugh but Rin doesn’t get the reference and isn’t sure what about it is supposed to be funny.

 “The ancient Romans worshipped Venus as their goddess of love and named the brightest star in the sky in her honor.”

 “Ah!” he continues, “but the Romans aren’t the only ones who associate this star with love. Travel west towards the continent and you’ll find those who refer to it by two names; sao Mai, the morning star and sao Hôm, the evening star. Because they’re considered distinct entities, existing at different times, they’re likened to separated lovers. They also have another word for the same star, sao Vượt—The climbing star.”

 The sky was becoming lighter and lighter as the man talked and Rin could make out his physical appearance more clearly now. He looked young and not really like any human Rin had encountered, with his auburn-colored hair. But he didn’t look like a yokai either. Perhaps he was a traveling foreigner; it would explain how he knew so much about far-away lands and cultures.

 “The climbing star?” she inquires.

 The man nods. “They have a poem about it; ‘When you go, do you miss me? I am the climbing star waiting for the moon in the sky .’”

 “That’s beautiful,” Rin says. It reminds her of a song she used to sing.  ‘I will wait, all alone/For Sesshoumaru-sama’s return.’

 That was what she was, Rin thinks. A climbing star. A morning star. Venus, with all her love, who waits for her evening moon.

 “It is?” the man asks. “Beautiful?”

 “Yes,” Rin nods. “It reminds me of a song I used to sing.”

 “Oh?” he says, finally turning to look at her. There’s a peculiar expression on his face. “What did it sound like—Your song?”

 Rin feels a sudden sense of unease at the tone in his voice.

 “Was it…” he hums a brief melody, “the sound of a million ships, just sailing away… ”

 Rin can feel her heart sink. She  knows  she’s heard that before. But  where had she heard that before? It sounded so familiar to her but try as she might, she just couldn’t place it. She racks her brain, trying to come up with the memory.

 The man continues to stare at her, vacantly. All the friendliness from before has been drained away.

 “Rin,” Sesshoumaru’s voice says from behind her. “Is this man bothering you?”

 Rin turns around to see him standing there, eyes slightly narrowed.

 “No, Sesshoumaru-sama, everything is fine. This man was just telling Rin about—”

 She turns back to the mysterious stranger but there’s no one perched atop the rock and the man is nowhere to be seen.

[telesthisia]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

TAGGED BY: @hyaciiintho​ thank you so much!!! <3 TAGGING: @rcguna​ @cadcnce​ either or whatever works for you bear, @panickypeachboy​ @paintmaid​ @emfiliae​ @windmcge​ and you as well!! The person reading this

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. <--- leaving this here because this is super sweet ALSO FAIR WARNING my blog has right click turned off. I’m going to be placing this under readmore but I think you can see it on dashboard view! If not lmk we’ll work something out!!! 

MY MUSE IS:   CANON / OC / AU (Verse dependent) / CANON-DIVERGENT (Interactions & verse dependent) / FANDOMLESS

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES well kinda at least thanks to ssbu before she wasn’t that well known I MEAN PPL KNEW HER BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE AS MANY FANART AS OTHER ZELDAS SDJBKHJABSD/ NO

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK because not too many people talk about her and by her I mean ALTTP Zel, people are bonkers over SSBU Zel! 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO if we’re talking about the canon of ALTTP and OoX series rather than ssbu it’s a hard no, she has enough magic to be considered a sacrifice to break barriers and revive the dead but not enough to fend herself off from evil mages who want to talk over the world / IDK

Are they underrated?  YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   NOT THAT STRICT HONESTLY, she’s just an OC at this point haha because she has zero substance in her own god damn game ;v; she’s just exposition.txt with dulcina effect playing into view though it is somewhat justified since she is the princess and the only thing that stopped Agahnim from breaking out Ganon.... I MEAN!!! SHE’S NOT AT ALL A DEPRESSED CALM ROMANTIC IN CANON LET’S PUT IT TO YOU THAT WAY SDBKASDJHBDASD. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.   TAKES A DEEP BREATH

Tiny funky elf princess trying her best to rule elf kingdom. HJKA there’s more, I’m lazy but not that lazy. She’s the descendent of essentially a mortal god, more than likely acting as an avatar of sorts to the goddess Hylia, as such she’s gifted with fantastical abilities that’s been passed down her family for generations and she intends to use these powers to protect her kingdom that’s still on the road of recovery, as the sole survivor from Agahnim’s destruction upon Hyrule and thus sole scion she’s left picking up the small fragments from the tragedy that occurred ages ago where the Hero of Time had fallen. But here’s the downside to these powers: she was born with a very weak body and poor health as such she can’t utilize the abilities she has from her bloodline aside from a few powers without affecting her low stamina issues. Namely telepathy, clairvoyance, healing, sealing things away, creating barriers, and connection with the spirit realm. As such, she tends to rely on the wisdom given to her by her naturally bright mind and enhanced by the mythical object known as the Triforce of Wisdom. Surprisingly, she can be cunning despite her soft-hearted nature and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect her kingdom and people she loves, her silent determination more than makes up for the lack of powers she may have. That in mind, she’s often the target of more nefarious plans that means the downfall of her kingdom. She may not have the amazing light magic spells her ancestors did to prevent darkness from taking over but that doesn’t mean her magic isn’t any less potent, she just can’t tap into it. She’s an easy target for enemies that wish to use her sacred powers to revive the dead Ganon or break pass whatever powerful barrier or seal that’s in place. 

Her future is pretty grim as well, considering she has a shorter life span. But it’s fine, things are fine she may have a gloomy outlook on certain things but that doesn’t stop her from living life!! Despite how sour this may all seem Zelda is still that encouraging young woman whose kindness defines her, she’s playfully innocent around friends and enjoys exploring old places of decay that’s rich with history! She tends to bottle up her more negative aspects to not worry others since she’s the pillar of an entire ass nation, she needs to maintain her placid demeanor as a means to calm and soothe others around her. Because the truth of the matter is that the events of ALTTP (before the game where harsh plagues among other things happened before Agahnim arrived to fix everything as well as after the events of the game) and OoX, instances where she’s witnessed death of loved ones, the downfall of her kingdom, and coming across death herself has affected her greatly. She suffers from grief and depression that needs to be addressed but... ;v; 

NGL I’M ABOUT TO CRY 

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).   HJKA TAKE OUT MY BULLSHIT TAKE ON HER AND YOU’RE LEFT WITH EXPOSITION AND DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!!! She’s not at all interesting if you don’t take into account her roles in the mangas which I somewhat base her personality and thoughts on... she’s just.... nice pretty princess that needs to be rescued. A tale as old as time.... 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   GOOD QUESTION!!! BECAUSE I STARTED OUT WITH HILDA BEFORE DECIDING TO GO WITH SKY ZELDA BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO A MORE OUTGOING MUSE and then I opened up a sideblog for this Zelda out of whim. There’s no reason why I choose the most obscure Zelda, I just did it because I thought it’d be fun. I did not expect this much characterization for someone like her ngl. I guess what keeps me going is the fact that she’s a fun character to write for! 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? HA!!! NOTHING!!! Mental illness is a bitch, I will have my down... weeks. Not days, literal weeks or months depending on how long my episodes last. It sucks, and I try to work around it but there’s not much I can do. That said, inspiration depends on motivation and want to write. As well as focus because god knows I have so little of that. 

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO I TRY BUT UNDERSTAND THERE’S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH IN CANON YOU EITHER LIKE HER OR DON’T 

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO but I honestly should???

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES where’s the kinda opition, because I personally love her and think she’s interesting enough but I’m still working a lot on her NO

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HA HARD NO

Are you a sensitive person?  YES fun part of having ADD is that you feel emotions more intenstly, I’m naturally a senstive person too so :’)))) / NO

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES OF COURSE!!!! As someone who wants to grow more in writing any sort of feedback is appreciated! 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   If you give me the chance to ramble about this stupid elf I will literally love you so much like I love all sorts of questions anyone may have about her!! Though I feel my rambles don’t really make much sense since I just type whatever pops in the mind and put it down as fast as I can without double-checking well enough. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?   Sí! Again, I want to grow more as a writer and rper! So if someone were to come across a headcanon they don’t like I’d like to know why so that I can think more critically about it and fix it so that it better fits Zelda. If someone were to say “I don’t like this” without saying why it really won’t help much aside from letting me know that you don’t like the thing, which is fine and valid but pls let me know why! 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   Eh, fine with it. I honestly don’t mind if someone doesn’t like my characters, any of my characters I play as! Sometimes, certain portrayals aren’t someone’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly fine. I won’t take offense to it, at the end of the day while I’m still working on Zelda I’m happy with how much she’s grown over the years I’ve played her as... which were just two but it feels longer dude!!! 

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?   Again, I wouldn’t care that much lol. It’s just rping, it’s really not that deep. It’s no different from someone not liking a book because they just don’t vibe with the writing style among other reasons. I may be sensitive but I don’t really take a lot of things personally. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   Ye uvub! I’m a literal dumbass behind a keyboard, don’t be afraid to say “hey this wasn’t spelled right” or “hey this doesn’t make much sense mind checking it over really quick”. 

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   I THINK?! I MEAN HONESTLY I’M SUPER ANXIOUS AND A WORRYWART I JUST DON’T SHOW IT MUCH AAAAAAAA I’d like to think of myself as chill ;v; I try to treat others how I want to be treated and just try to be nice. Idk if I come across as that or not, it’s hard to convey feelings through text sometimes to some. 

[dreamingbrownie]

Tagging games #5

I’ve been tagged by @fandom-glazed and wanted to do this anyway, so here we go! Tagging anyone who wants to do this ^__^ 1. what’s your favorite way to dress? Black all the way. I’m a fancy goth on the inside and trying (but most likely failing) on the outside. 2. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Not to be so voulnerable to the people that mean a lot to me would be nice. Not getting attached so fucking fast. 3. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? I tend to love movies reducing me to a sobbing mess, so that doesn’t count as calming me down, does it? As for a series, I’m all for Merlin BBC at the moment which I watch unfrequently with @fandom-glazed on Netflix and usually laugh my ass off at Arthur and Merlin’s antics. :D 4. What does your room smell like? Dust, nailpolish, some tea and the slightly burnt smell of my old heaters. 5. Do you like to organize? Hell fucking no. I’m an ADD person, nope, I don’t. 6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one? German rock / gothic rock. Unheilig, Staubkind, Blutengel, Lord of the Lost, Letzte Instanz, that kind of thing. Not that either of those bands would ring a bell with most of tumblr users, I assume. 7. What song is your aesthetic? Oh man, making me choose there is mean. Ghost Love Score by Nightwish, Stand my ground by Within Temptation, Morgana by Lord of the Lost. Hard and heavy. 8. What color do you think goes best with your personality? Crimson like my hair right now, probably. 9. Do you believe in auras? Nope. 10. What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Ballet. To wish for having been introduced to how to ruin your body in the most beautiful way as a child is kind of unhealthy. 11. Vague about your crush(es) Valentin Winter / van Porcelain. That man. Go to his tumblr @valentinvanporcelaine and dare ask me again why I’m addicted to his aesthetics. 12. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? Yep. Not talking about specific people in my personal life here tho.  13. Talk about an AU or story you came up with Oh boy, here we go. If you get me started on my vampire novels, we’ll be here all day and I won’t even be half way finished. I adore my own characters to a decree that might be weird, I ship some of them and the main gay pair Count Louis and his life long best friend and personal vassal Chris, later Knight of Alderton, to death and writing anything with those two idiots in love soothes me so much. The main trilogy (A shimmer of Red, Black and Silver respectively) is huge (as in 200k for the first, 140k for the second and 110k as of yet for the unfinished third) but not finished yet, I’m almost there and would have been a year ago if I’d just get my arse out of the Fantastic Beasts Fandom and saunter off to writing my own stuff again. Unfortunately, Albus and Gellert own my ass at the moment and I’m overflowing with plotbunnies that won’t go away on their own. I know my mind. I need to write them all down before I get any peace at all. Lol. 14. Do you like makeup? No, not really, I like sharp-winged-eyeliner though. 15. Do you prefer space or the ocean? Ocean all the way. Space is fascinating and I’m a massive nerd for SpaceX because their projects are so promising for the future of mankind, but standing at the shore, being able to breathe properly again (asthma kid here, hi) and cry from sheer relief of hearing the waves crash against the cliff or roll onto the beach again is my life blood. I’ll have that next week again. Fucking finally. The sea soothes me so, so much and I suffer from constant longing for distance. We have a very fitting word for the feeling in German. Fernweh. Roughly translated to “I want to get far away from here so much it hurts.” Yeah, that’s the German language right there for you. 16. If you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live? Pandora, probably. You know, three meters tall blue humanoids, a captivating nature, trees large enough to be a bother for the planet’s rotation, probably? Yeah. I’d like that very much. 17. What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) I’m quite content with the German system of Social economy. Pure capitalism, socialism and communism are shit, don’t work in the long run and should just be abolished altogether. 18. What animal would you keep as a pet, if you could? Give me a black cat, please 19. What do you think our purpose is in the universe? To find our place between the stars, become a multi planetary species and to develop a way that’s not as destructive to the planet we inhabit. There’s a beautiful sentence that sums it all up in Interstellar from Cooper: “We might have been born on earth, but we don’t have to die here.” 20. Do you believe in god(s)? Nope. Atheist all the way. Before anyone misunderstands me, though: believe whatever you want to, I don’t judge people for their religion, it’s just so not my tea. 21. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? Yep. Chasing cars by Snow Patrol. 22. What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? Mean question. I only have an ex-girlfriend and sometimes I miss her gentleness and how instantly she saw right through me, but she replaced me, we’ve been done for a bit more than five years now and I’m over her. :) 23. Do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets? Soft, fluffy blankets all the way. 24. What is your favorite thing to learn about? History. What do you think I’d study that for? :D 25. What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Man, that’s a mean one again. I’m pretty solid on English history, but I don’t know the first thing about Asian history altogether because german schools don’t teach that and we’ve got a different subject for Asian culture in university so it’s not included in my must-do-schedule too, but I’d like to learn more about it soon. 26. What do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here) Nope, noping right out, nopedinopenope, not my tea. At all. 27. What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? The one I had was... bad. Not talking about that here any further tho. 28. Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? A couple of weeks ago, my answer would have been yes, but I’ve got that all sorted out now. Not dwelling on it, though. It doesn’t matter. 29. What do you think about tumblr discourse? Ughhh. Exhausting most of the time. I loved the metas in the Sherlock fandom before it all fell apart and I like Fantastic Beasts metas, but people get so emotional so fast that normal discussions are all but impossible here. 30. What instrument do you wish you could master? Piano. Still salty that I’ve been forced to stop that as a child. 31. How easy is it for you to be honest? Very. I’m a very honest person and I’m shite at lying. 32. Do you have any strange interests? Fandoms, probably? xD I find fossils infinetely fascinating, anything conserning dragons (that sounds strange in context, I’m well aware that they don’t exist) and the way stars are born in large nebulas is something poetic to me. 33. Do you have any strange fears? Strange? I dunno, I’ve just about ran out of the kitched screaming at the top of my lungs when a fucking spider dropped ON MY HEAD yesterday evening, you tell me if that’s strange. Drowning would suck a lot, I guess. Anything that makes you suffocate. Nope. 34. What food do you binge on when you’re lazy? Toast with something on it. I did that in exam week last week, not because I’m lazy but because I just did not have the time or the nerves for cooking. 35. When you get angry, how do you show it? I go all quiet and drill my posture to absolute perfection until it hurts. You’ll notice when I’m mad. Seldom happens, though, I’m hard to offend. 36. Do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.) Picking fingers. Bad habit that I’m trying to get rid of. 37. What do you listen to music on? YouTube and Spotify on the PC, used my phone a massive lot for that during the summer too but now with all the layers of jackets and coats and such it’s a bit hard to stuff my large phone anywhere. 38. Are you left brained or right brained? Uhhhh what? I’m right handed, but I don’t think I have any tendencies otherwise. 39. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. 40. Do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? Light blankets for around the flat, heavy in bed. I’d like to be able to breathe.

[ao3feedsamifer]

A Lesson in Pain, Agony, and Suffering

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2rtVjD8

by 48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue

They may always end up stuck together, but Sam is going to beat the Devil no matter what it takes. Sam loses a lot of battles, but he always wins the war.

Lucifer thinks Sam belongs to him and will do anything to keep it that way. However, he knows Sam's track record for beating him, and he's not taking "No," for an answer.

(Starts off sometime in the future, then kicks off after S13E21 and the timeline jumps around.)

Words: 17365, Chapters: 8/60, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Sam Winchester, Lucifer (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Kelly Kline, Other characters will be around

Relationships: Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Lucifer & Sam Winchester, Sam/Happiness and Sam/Curbstomping Lucifer and Punching him in the Face OTP, Very One-sided Lucifer/Sam, Lucifer/His Ego, Kelly Kline & Justice, Other endgame OTP is Sam/Freedom, Sam/Walking Out of Hell and Being Whole, It's mostly Sam/Lucifer for the majority you have been warned and disclaimed, Past Sam/Ruby but that was awful for Sam too, Sam/Jess but with a twist, past Samifer, but it was never happy because Lucifer is coercive, Kinda current Samifer, but Sam really is not happy about it at all, Side-pairing Dean/Castiel, but that is not the main focus

Additional Tags: Jack Kline & Sam Winchester Friendship, Sam endgame pairing is happiness but boy is it gonna be a long time to get there, Major Abuse, Rape, non-con, mind-rape, Torture, Psychological Torture, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Hurt Comfort Fic, mostly horror, Cage Trauma, Sam is not about this life, Sam deserves happiness but life is like nope, In Honor of S13E21, Major Canonical Changes, Semi-Canon Compliant except for the stuff I forget or deliberately change, Flashbacks, bi sam winchester, Gender-changing Lucifer, Lucifer is also Jess, Lucifer is Also Nick, Stalking and Pain, Also making Dean less abusive and toxic than canon or at least acknowledging it, Assumed Abusive John Winchester past references, Sam is Jack's biological parent in this, No technical Mpreg because it squicks me out, I don't know what else to tag this other than the title is a lot of what you get in this fic, A lot of torture in a lot of different forms, Mostly a horror fic with alternate endings and some fix it tacked on after the suffering, Sam was in the cage longer than he's lived and boy does that trauma show, Enochian, Conditioning, Horrible family dynamics, Lucifer chooses to be a horrible person and wants to use Sam anyway, Lucifer thinks he's in love but doesn't know or care about actually not being abusive, Toxic Jack and Lucifer relationship because Lucifer sucks, Kelly Kline & Sam, The power of friendship, Sam is a survivor, Maybe some Prince of Hell and White Eyed Demon resurrections if not related to time travel, Multiple Endings, Also Sam/Ruby mentions, Probably not explicit sex scenes or they will be implied but sparse because I'm bad at writing them, if this changes you'll know, When Sam is male presenting in the show he's using male pronouns, If Sam is female presenting going to change pronouns when convenient, OH ALSO Demon Blood Addiction, Angel Blood Addiction, AND A METRIC TON OF MANIPULATION, Lucifer wants Sam to love him and feels something, Gender changing Sam, Chuck can fight me, Probably time travel, Probably some reversed character deaths, Surrogacy, because nephilim birth body counts, Sam Winchester Has Powers, S13 Spoilers!, sam is just done, and barely holding on to reality, Lucifer pays lip service to the idea of redemption, but is too self-absorbed to actually change, Lucifer tries to be a Dad but has awful role models, nevermind his actual personality, Casifer, Lucifer is an awesome antagonist, I just wanted to write something extra painful, Sam working with Lucifer to fight Michael, even though he'd rather not, Non-Linear Narrative, Hallucifer probably will be mentioned somehow, Implied Sexual Content, Dubious Consent, some of their earlier S5 interactions will be different and less antagonistic, sort of, Lucifer's Cage, Sam Centric Narration mostly, But I might add Lucifer's perspective in there too, I can't believe I forgot, Stockholm Syndrome, yay, Sarcasm, also Kelly is Jack's surrogate mom, she still dies but might come back, also more s5 type lucifer, then character development, let's just say Lucifer is pissed his OTP seems in denial, and that they are defending humanity because lucifer, so that's gonna change canon a bit, but only slightly because stuff still seems to play out the same, watch me justify all my canon changes badly, Lucifer is like why don't you love me?, Sam is like have you seen yourself? Do you need an itemized list?, destroying parts of canon with fire through sheer laziness, Lucifer believes in Sam but doesn't want to, Lucifer takes the abandonment from God and latches on to dear life, to the person he thinks can't abandon him even if he tries because Fate, It would almost be tragic if Lucifer didn't treat Sam so bad, which negates all potential sympathy imo, Dysphoria, sort of ftm sam, but I'm not sure how solid gender is in this fic, because Lucifer is a genderless entity who just chooses to present as whatever is convenient, and Sam only has issues with the gender change when its magic, and inflicted against his will, because Lucifer thinks pregnancy will force Sam to be even more tied to him, and because he likes making Sam uncomfortable, because revenge for perceived wrongs, and disappointment, torture and murder and awfulness are not answers to life's problems, but Lucifer sure as heck is gonna try to make them, these tags could be a fic of their own at this point., also this is listed f/f because Lucifer and Sam switch genders in this fic, sam doesn't really care about gender too much, but the devil generally mirrors sam's gender unless there's an ulterior motive, because possessiveness and possession, honestly though Lucifer was going the Labyrinth Goblin King route in this, until Sam beat him and he had a tantrum, Possession, also Lucifer's MO is basically, everyone else: Lucifer no, and lucifer, canonically from every point ever: Lucifer yes, Majorly diverts from canon after I deal with S13 and the flashbacks, Sam trying to beat the Devil at his own game, Pseudo-redemption (except it fails for obvious reasons), Sam's level of hate and fear for Lucifer is canonical or even more, Plus past feelings, and past betrayal, Also Jack is a beautiful ray of sunshine, who also only deserves happiness, so him and Cas and Dean are gonna be trying to make things right, and maybe give a break from all the pain and suffering all the time, Trauma, All aboard the MAXIMUM ANGST TRAIN, Lucifer is like an Ex that won't accept you've broken up, Angels are also basically eldritch monsters, which is basically canon, Suicide Attempts, but we all know that doesn't work, also everything is this fic is completely out of order, until I finish it, because I can't write linearly at all

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2rtVjD8

[franeridart]

Hey hey hey, so I've seen your lack of Bokutoo art (or haikyuu art in general) and at first I was going to comment on it, but then I saw your art theft post and I hope that won't have too much influence on your haikyuu art? Of corse I'm gonna let you post whatever you'd like to post, I just miss it a lot y'know :0

Well. Okay, I’ve talked about this a lot but I understand people don’t just read all my answers and it’s totally my fault for procrastinating on that faq page so let me just go through this again in an as clear way as possible?

I haven’t stopped drawing for hq! As a matter of fact in the last week alone I have posted one, two and three things for that fandom for a total of five portraits and a three panels comic

That said I understand with the rhythm I update this blog you might think “well, that isn’t much at all, is it?”, which, again, is my fault because - even though when compared to most art blogs’ update schedules eight drawing in one week is more than enough - I’m the one who set the rhythm here

The “problem” with hq is that all my favorite characters are currently absent from the manga and there’s no anime airing, while at the same time my other main fandom (bnha) has both an interesting arc going on in the manga AND an anime season airing right now - I hope you’ll understand if my interest at the moment is mostly focused there, that’s a continuous stream of inspiration I have coming my way

To add to that some parts of the Haikyuu!! fandom are being unrespectful of what I post (this includes reposting, treating my stuff as if it were templates for their own art instead of ship/character specific content, honestly unrespectful comments and tags under a lot of my main ships posts and so on) which, you’ll excuse me, but dampens the joy I get from posting art a lot

Moreover, the creative side of the hq fandom is being, at least for what concerns the zones I frequent, pretty damn quiet lately, so I can’t say I get much inspiration from there either

I haven’t stopped and I can’t see in my foreseeable future myself stopping posting stuff for haikyuu!!, and all things considered I don’t think I’m posting too little for it either? Art and inspiration aren’t things I want to force, if I started I would stop finding drawing enjoyable really damn fast and I can’t let that happen - please be understanding, I first and foremost draw for myself, I can’t help it if sometimes I get stuck on one fandom or another

Anon said: Have you seen the latest chapter of haikyuu? I like how they are showing more Daishou. It’s fun to see his reactions and thoughts about nationals! And I will love to see him in your art style.

Anon, my friend!!! I have drawn Daishou in the past! As a matter of fact the last one was just after he appeared again in chapter 251! I love that snake boy a lot, seeing him there made me really really happy haha

Anon said:SAEKO NEE-SAAAAANNNNNN

SHE WAS AMAZING WASN’T SHE OH MY G O D !!!

Anon said:Kirishima and/or Bakugou being good at singing. And then gay happens.

BOI ANON I have drawn these boys singing to each other a whole lot already (like here or here) at this point I would assume you guys were fed up with it hahaha (… can’t say I won’t ever have them sing to each other again, though)

Anon said:DADZAWA IS SO REAL! But I’m actually so amused because Izuku is basically Ron Swanson with his “I can do what I want” permit except Aizawa wrote and signed the permit

No no anon it’s even better because Aizawa wasn’t like “you can do what you want” he was like “you can do only what I tell you you can do and it just so happens that I’m deciding that you can do exactly what you want to do but it’s still my decison” it was amazing lmao I love Aizawa so much poor man

Anon said:friendo, whats your opinion on the traitor kaminari theory? it breaks my heart but it has a good backbone to it?? like in the new chapter, theres a character that looks like kaminari’s dad/uncle/older family member and im worried for my electric baby

I still don’t think Kaminari is the traitor - as a matter of fact, I still don’t think the traitor is any of the kids. If that’s how it’ll turn out to be I’ll be sad about it, for sure, but right now I really, really don’t believe it. It’s true that the Kaminari-is-the-traitor theory is very cleverly worded and super convincing, but a lot of the things in it are really stretched out as far as I’m concerned

ie, taking the weird faces Horikoshi makes him make in the sketches and using them as proof that he’s got a double face? Too far out for me; his original design being that of a villain? Deku’s original design was villain-ish too, no one is calling him a traitor; taking the expression he made when Aizawa told him he could go to the camp and making it sound like he didn’t want to go? Might be believable as long as you don’t take into account the fact that he had just had a conversation with Midoriya in which he told him it was impossible Aizawa would let them go and that Midoriya was just being too optimistic, the “what the actual fuck is this” expression makes a lot more sense in that context; the fact that he makes clever quotes and uses a complex vocabulary used to say that he’s pretending to be stupid is unfair towards the very real possibility of him just not liking studying or thinking things through analytically but otherwise enjoying reading and being fairly intelligent in his own way?? - in the theory it’s also mentioned that it’s weird how during USJ he was worried about an electricity villain overcharging him as if that’s not perfectly normal, having an electricity quirk obviously doesn’t stop him from suffering overcharges, and later during the end of term exam they say it’s “weird” he refused to go all out with his qurik from the start, again, as if that weren’t a perfectly sensible decision in that context (you have to keep in mind that Kaminari is also studying to become an hero, him going “wait a second, maybe keeping on going stupid and putting myself out of commission every time I fight isn’t the right choice” is perfectly in line with him growing up and learning)

Now I don’t have the post open in front of me and it’s been a while since I’ve read it, but most of the theory as far as I get it is based on the idea that Kaminari can’t be lazy and an airhead and might talk without thinking now and again (the Stain comment), but at the same time be clever in his own ways, which just isn’t convincing for me. It’s taking this character’s three dimensionality and making it a plot-hole, why would you want to do that

(on a similar note, the Kirishima-is-the-traitor theory doesn’t convince me for the same kind of reason, it’s all based on the idea that he can’t just genuinely like Bakugou for who he is without having second reasons for it, which is just unfair and cuts too much off the personality of a really good, well written character)

As far as the new villain guy goes, I understand why most of the fandom might be weary and linking him to Kaminari, but we don’t know his color scheme nor his quirk and the pattern on his hair isn’t even a lightning bolt - Horikoshi has had to make up unique designs for a whole damn lot of characters, the fact that one random guy might have something similar to Kaminari isn’t really enough to make him his dad (again, it might turn out to be true, but in my opinion it’s still too early to make theories about it). Also, this guy is from the Eight Precepts. Weren’t you all trying to link Kaminari to the League of Villains? Isn’t the traitor supposedly tied with the League? How many people is this boy working for even

By the way, during the USJ attack the villains had informations they couldn’t have gotten from any of the kids aside from Midoriya (the “they told me All Might was getting weaker” comment) and tbh that’s enough for me to not believe any of the student is behind the informations leak, but all of this is just my opinion

Anon said:Your thoughts on mob psycho 100??

LOVE IT  one of the best anime I’ve watched lately, without any doubts

Anon said: Being a bokuroo artist? More like drawing art but every time someone says brOTP, you get steadily more annoyed, lol - love your art, btw; you have a really cute and fluffy style

Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh… sadly you kind of grow used to it but it is incredibly annoying and one of the reasons why I’ve been drawing it less, t b h

Anon said:I love the concept of the bakubowl because unlike with other characters where everyone’s like “omf they’re so cute!!” the bakubowl is just “why is he like this. why do we ALL like him for this ffs”

WELP I don’t ship Bakugou with everyone so I can’t say I’m fond of the idea as a whole, and the ships I do ship Bakugou in are with the people that actually do like him for whatever reason (lmao), but I can understand why you’d find it a fresh take on the concept! 

Anon said:Ily your art gives me life

AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!! *O*