#tony trying to understand him

[moontheoretist]

General Ross laughed—a raspy, weak thing and his hair seemed even grayer in the low light. “Decades, Stark. Decades in service. I believed in that shit. Had to.” He looked down at his bandaged hand and downed the alcohol in a gulp. Tony’s brow furrowed. He had known the General in a professional capacity for a long time. This was…different. Tony poured him another shot; half, this time. “It’s easy to get caught up in it. The movies, the video reels, the parades. The museums filled with history labeled as ‘American Greatness.’ The first successfully enhanced human on known record was a 6-foot-something, blonde haired and blue-eyed white man and all of it is the first thing you see when you wake up until you shut your eyes at night in a bedroom full of memorabilia. Pledging Allegiance to a flag before you’re able to form abstract thoughts. It’s all you know. And it’s a damn good story—so good and pervasive you never even begin to think. Your family’s been doing this for, what? How long?” “One of the first colonists—served with Washington himself,” came the mumbled reply. “Mm. I get it. But then you grow—start looking outside the box. You begin to hear the rumors; you hear the disturbing, gut wrenching things done for country and corporate interests. You learn about the rape, the killings, the kidnappings, the human trafficking, the burnings, the genocide, the greed…the drive to consume everything—people, land, capital. And then you wonder about your place in furthering that destruction. All that effort and sweat…for what? I’ve read the classified reports, General; just as you have. And the two of us…well, we made our decisions in the name of Empire.” “Tch. You sound like my daughter.” “She’s a very intelligent lady.” “That’s all her mother. Smarter than my ass, at any rate. Refused to join JROTC and buried her head in biology books instead. The Old Man had his own ideas about women serving so he didn’t get on her like he did me before he went six feet under at Arlington. I was sort of relieved to be honest—at least she wouldn’t end up like…Elias.” Tony noted the name but knew better than to follow that thread. Instead, he said, “So you’ve had your doubts for a while.” “Naw… …well. …Perhaps. Perhaps. But what else could I do?” “When you got a hard ass parent breathing ~legacy~ down your neck? It’s difficult to do much else. You keep on because to do otherwise would be to admit your family shed blood and died for…that. You’d have to acknowledge that you’re way more comfortable with atrocities than you’d care to admit. That your loved ones have died and you’ve wasted decades on…horror. That was how that line went, wasn’t it? 'The horror—the horror.’” “Hn. Hated that movie.” “I imagine it made you uncomfortable. I did prefer the book myself although both are phenomenal. On the other hand I am a sucker for Marlon Brando. Ooh, he was a fine specimen in his prime.” Tony sighed and adjusted himself better on the aging barstool. “I’m not saying this to rub salt into wounds because I’m not any better. When I started making weapons I had no real idea about life or death. I was in grade school. But I was good at it, it made Howard happy, so I built away. Then when I was old enough to know better? I, too, kept on keeping on. And who knows how long I would have if I hadn’t, finally, gotten a taste of my own medicine. Until I was the one being shot at—until I was the one with shrapnel tearing up my insides. Until I was being dumped head first into filthy water. I didn’t pull any triggers, and, sure, if not me then someone else would have filled the void…but the thing is those hypotheticals don’t change a goddamn thing. I can’t put that shit on any one else. And now here I am sitting on the spoils of wars, with a daughter of my own and I think about all those other daughters who…well.” Tony trailed off, eyes on the bottle in his hand. It would be easy to go right back into what he knew. Terrible for him and other people, but comfortable. Known. Every day was a struggle in breaking new ground and he wondered if there would be a time there wouldn’t be. “You think stepping out of the game will cleanse your soul?” Ross sounded curious, not sarcastic. Tony had an inkling he wasn’t asking for Tony’s sake. “I wish I had a better answer than no. Decades of being the Merchant of Death doesn’t get cleared away by a year of playing nice and giving away smartphones. That’ll be a part of my identity until I die and long after—I’ve got to make peace with that.” “Then why bother? When you’re in so deep-” The General cut himself off and his hand had closed into a fist. It shook from the force of his grip. Tony pulled his gaze away to rest on the worn grain of the wood beneath his fingertips. “I believe…now, at least, that you do the right thing because it’s the right thing. You grow, listen to others…fuck up, take your licks, learn. And at the end of it all you hopefully do better. My family plays a part—an important one. But I…I’ve got to put in the work. Me.” Ross sighed, long and heavy. “You know you don’t have to, Stark. You’re so loaded your grandchildren’s grandchildren won’t have to work a day in their lives. You could give that suit of yours to someone else and take a backseat. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes would be exceptional. Even I can’t fault his record.” “Yeah…I’m wrestling with that, too. But it’s not just me, General. You could retire tomorrow. And with your record you’ll be buried in so much metal I could make another suit from it.” Ross snorted at that. He toyed with the shot glass before setting down and pushing it away. The old CRT hanging from the wall in the corner showed a replay of yesterday’s baseball game. Howard used to promise to take him to one—never did. Something was always more important. “If you know about Project Rebirth then you know about…what else is out there, I’m guessing.” “I know we’re not alone.” “I just wanted our kids to be safer, Stark. That’s all—that’s all. Then it all got twisted up and fucked.” Ross paused. “I chose Blonsky because he was one of us—he understood the life. Highly decorated—well trained. He was on our side. But what came out of him was an abomination. It makes you think, Stark; makes you really think.” “Abomination. Fitting.” The silence between them stretched miles. The bartender was humming along with the juke—some old country thing where the singer probably lost his woman, house, farm, and dog and not even in that order. The General suddenly asked, “You a fan of Captain America?” “Hated him. But those’re my daddy issues talking.” “I used to look up to him. Old Man served in the Second World War and told me all about his exploits. I used to think, 'that’s it.’ That’s proof that everything we stand for is right. And if we had more of him? It would be better for everyone. Conflicts would end so much quicker with less bloodshed. And if they were hurt they would be able to heal. No more corpses being left out to bake and swell in the sun.” “That would suck for the other guys, considering our track record with war crimes. But as long as America’s dominance is assured, am I right?” “You and I both know that war’s inevitable, but if—no. No.” Ross pressed his fingers against closed eyes. “That’s that old fool in me flapping his gums. All I’ve done was cause…hurt.” “The road to Hell.” “Heh, indeed.” Ross ran a hand over his mouth. “I’ve seen some shit, Thunderbolt. It made me question what we’re really doing on this dirt ball hurtling through space.” “What are we doing…hm,” Ross murmured. “What am I doing? What if it’s too late for me?” “Figured you were the type to rest when you’re dead.” “…I thought the same. But when you catch on that you’ve become what you’ve hated—shit, maybe you’ve been projecting all along.” Ross turned to face him, finally, with his brow furrowed. “Now I’m not one to get all touchy or sit with these sort of things, and God knows it’s not like I could have told this to anyone else—they’d have thought I’d’ve lost it.” “Happy to be a sounding board for your thoughts, General.” “You have given me a lot to think about, I suppose. But why are you here, Stark? Really? "Like I said, General. Most I can do is work on doing better.  Eventually, we will, all of us will, have to question what it really means being American; or, I should say, being human.”

Have Time — Will Travel by flower-of-el (NibelungVelocity)

[kayvsworld]

I wish there were mcu comics I wish there were comics but of the mcu. low stakes inter-movie 2012 avengers tower style shenanigans and I am NOT talking about avengers assemble the cartoon OR the tie in comics I am saying a series, an avengers series specifically of the avengers and they do avengers things and it's mcu but it's comics

what I am actually saying is that I wish there had been more avengers movies before aou where they did avengers things and were friends, an avengers 1.5, but this is a more unfixable problem

[fafayayarhen]

cw: suggestive themes of violence + mild gore & it's dark cause of theme at play here okay so heed that thx

that concludes the doodle dump series of yandere!spain concept

tune in for more!!! having ideas for a more spaus centric ideas for this concept ngl

also please note the characters included in the speech bubbles that's like a 'hit list' is really just a gag on the whole insanity that is the yandere trope of "killing off" the rivals or whoever was close to their person of interest, i don't mind any of those ships!! i fucken love pruaus and swissaus (even if one sided lmFAOOO) so don't anyone come at me HSDJKFHS

[imavikingo]

I was thinking on when Steve lost Bucky for the 3rd time (1st when he was drafted, 2nd when he was told he was MIA, 3rd when he fell) he tried to get drunk to forget, right? If he did that then...

What did he do when he lost him for the 6th time? (4th when he escaped, 5th when Bucky was in cryo, 6th the snap)

I mean technically Bucky died twice, but Steve lost him six times already.

And of he tried to get blind drunk once of those times- did he self-harm in other ways too?

To dull the pain? He can't get drunk, he heals quickly, he can't die easily either, so what did he do?

He wouldn't want to die when he knows for a fact that Bucky is alive ofc, but I can't see him acting normally or without a little bit of reckless energy.

To dull the pain and disappoinment (he can't feel like that, that's Bucky's choice -Cryo-. But how it hurts him tho).

(unrelated to this line of thought but it is relevant to the idea regardless)

That's why I can't fathom the idea of Steve abandoning Bucky in endgame.

He lost him 6 six (6) times already and he just... Went away? To a woman he only kissed once? After all he did for him, the pain and loss?

Even if you don't ship them, you have to think that to be really ooc on Steve's part. Everything in his character arc in the MCU is related to Bucky (and loss). Yes he liked Peggy, but he didn't suffer nor mourn her the same way he mourned Bucky (She was alive, but had dementia and was also very old, and had her own life).

His feelings for Peggy were more a "what if" and lost possibilities than anything.

She was an idea, a fantasy (that's why Wanda used that when fighting with him, right?). Not something real.

He wanted to be with her, but he didn't really knew her or love her (at least I don't think so).

She was the first woman that saw him for him after all. Before everything. But that's it.

He liked her for that (and her strong personality too) but did he love her? He didn't try to get on dates after he was defrosted because he knew people would only see Captain America, not Steve Rogers. He needed to represent an ideal and knew no one would understand (the pain, loss) and have the patience to be with him. That’s why he also highlighted the shared life experience thing.

So she was comforting, reassuring in a toxic and unhealthy kind of way (memories and fantasy aren't healthy when used like that). But still a what if and lost opportunity. He had to let her go at one point. And he did(!) But they had to fuck it up…

I mean... it's the same thing when you're still hung up on an ex. You want to think of the possibilities, the what ifs, the "what could have been" But when you go back to them nothing is like you remembered, nothing is like you wanted and you are dissatisfied and disappointed.

(Because all of that was in your head, it wasn't real).

And besides, he knew she had a life of her own (a fulfilling one at that) so what, he was selfish enough to fuck that up too? Without helping HIM? Without saving HIM? Abandoning HIM? After just being brought to life? After grieving him for another five years? Bucky was his best friend, his companion, his best pal…

He wouldn't do that to him. He would die before hurting Bucky (as they already stablished for most of the fucking movies) He even was like “You don’t understand” when Peggy talked to him in the bars ruins.

I think in canon (not ooc/EG)Steve would entertain the idea, but would decide to just keep it as that: An idea, a fantasy. And move on like he already did before.

Also the idea that it was a Peggy from an alternative universe is flawed because he abandoned HIS Bucky, even if in the other universe he helped or whatever.

In HIS UNIVERSE he abandoned his best friend? Not believable. And the logic of “oh it didn’t change their timeline because it was another one” is also stupid.

They already fucked up with Steve fighting 2012!Steve and also telling him about Bucky (creating another universe more than likely). And they were supposed to be undetected. Not create new universes. Thats also why I’m so keen on the idea of Steve being in a prison or something. He already fucked up once, twice if you think he went to the past to stay.

How can he be free while fucking up the timelines? Yeah, nah.

Also… they implied Steve can’t age in a movie if I remember correctly…. How did he become old?

And the idea that he went to Peggy because “Tony told him to have a life outside of captain america” is fucked up. So what? He relates his Bucky’s existence with work? FUCK OFF. Endgame Steve is fucked up and the worst character assassination I’ve ever seen.

They were just too annoyed with the fans because we ship Stucky (even tho they used that to promote the movies in panels and stuff, hypocrites -​I remember clearly the producers? of the movie talk about gay characters and the actors talk about Stucky in those panels for then…be one of the russos in like 1 second and have that shit ass, fuck ass ending for Steve and Bucky. That shit was vile-).

im also annoyed with some people that now shit on Steve when umh… did you see the movies? The other movies? Not only Endgame? (Btw the only one that got a “good ending” was Tony because he died as a hero in front of everyone -even tho he didn’t want to help at first because he had a good life, the ONLY ONE OF THEM might I add-, everyone else got worse, is dead or they’re neglected and treated as haha funny character or haha funny moment)

Im all for ships and ideas and headcanons (even when I hate them with passion, you do you) but don’t try and use this character assassination as an excuse to shit on Steve. If you NEED to shit on a character for your ship to work, then you’re not doing a good job at it or your ship sucks. Idk what to tell you.

[sailing-ever-west]

it's not really what happens in canon as far as I can tell but I'm rotating the idea that when Chopper joins the crew and starts desperately people-pleasing and allowing himself to suffer thinking that's what it takes to be accepted and loved, something in Sanji goes "O h ." and he starts making an effort to show Chopper very clearly that the love from this crew is not conditional. and maybe a little bit (a lot), he's saying it all to make himself believe it, too.

[ask-ursa-tonypeter]

[fic: wicked love] and [fic: pyrite] what do the Tonys and Peters think about their multiverse counterparts or their respective relationships/dynamics? is there anything they might respectively envy?

PYRITE (BROTHERCEST) TONY AND PETER Tony: Hey, kid? Don't fuck our dad.

Peter: Oh my god, I wouldn't!

Tony: Look, it was worth saying. We don't not share some DNA.

Peter: That's different! You're… you. …And that version of you seems like a really good dad, too.

Tony: The bar is that low, huh?

Peter: I mean it! It seems like he makes the other me really happy.

Not that, um-- obviously we're not doing what they're doing-- they're like, together-together, and we're-- we're just-- s-so yeah, it's different--

Tony: …Yeah. Sure.

-----

WICKED LOVE (DADSON) TONY AND PETER Peter: …They're kind of sweet?

Tony, pained: Baby, no.

Peter: Well, I mean-- it's not the best--

Tony: Peter.

Peter: --it's bad, but I don't know, it seems like they both needed someone to talk to about stuff? Like… they could actually be good brothers, if…

Tony: If one of them wasn't molesting the other one? That 'if' is doing a lot of heavy lifting there, Atlas.

Peter: Maybe… maybe he really loves him, you know? Like you love me.

Tony: …

Yeah, sure. Maybe he does.

[puhpandas]

brewing detective rabbit werewolf au

[emile-hides]

I’m so obsessed with the Mario family and while I’m a very hard Uncle Tony stan I’m also insanely obsessed with Auntie Marie and her daughter. I want to know all about them.

[chaossmagic]

"he's my friend."

so much said in just three words. he's my friend. he's the love of my life. he's my soulmate. i don't love anyone as much as i love him. i have to protect him. i have to keep him safe. he's been through enough. i love him so much.

[issuedsideways]

ough oof oh god I haven't written a DID tony fic in a million years but i just got the best idea

au where natasha picks up on the fact that "tony stark" and "iron man" are definitely two different people, and that's why she makes her recommendation to fury. iron man, yes. tony stark, no.

she can see that the out of the suit tony is already in over his head with ptsd. she knows what sort of person it takes to do the sorts of things shield will ask of them, and maybe he really isn't up to that. iron man on the other hand is... different. he carries himself differently, like a part of him never truly left the cave. he's not less traumatized, but he wants to save the world. he wants to be the one out there putting himself at risk for the sake of correcting the things he personally helped make worse. it's only fair.

but tony? he's tired. he's shaken. he needs to rest, needs to focus on clean energy and nonviolent projects. he wants to make the world a better place in a softer way. he's the one who says no more death, no more weapons. he can't stomach it anymore.

she can understand both sides, so she makes her recommendation how she does. maybe they can split the difference.

[sincetheducksleft]

S3E3 "Fortunate Son": The past alive in the present

This episode invites us to look back at Tony's childhood, and just as much to look back at our own experience of Tony as viewers of the show. The pilot episode and the inciting event of the whole series drive Tony's realization, which also reminds us, the viewers, that this show is just a snapshot of Tony's life. We are only given access to his past to the extent that it is incarnate in his present. But it is vividly incarnate in his present.

This is one of those Sopranos episodes that changes our perspective not just on everything that comes after it, but much of what came before.

Looking back just a little, to S2E6 "The Happy Wanderer", Tony's exploitation of Davey Scatino's gambling addiction takes on a totally new meaning in light of his experience with his father. Johnny cut off Satriale's finger over a gambling debt, and then rationalized it to Tony by suggesting that an unpaid debt devalues a person more than indulging in violence. That Satriale may be a nice man, but he put himself in this situation. Exactly the justification Tony makes about Davey.

(It's probably worth noting that Tony never cut off Davey's finger -- and while his interactions with AJ in this episode make a weird parallel to his interactions with Johnny, he still seems like a better father than Johnny did. He's passing down a softer punch.)

As a kid, Tony is vividly aware of the connection between violence and survival for his family -- that the hands that cut the meat for his baby sister are the same hands that cut off Satriale's finger -- and because he had no way to escape that world he could only cope by rationalizing it. He deeply internalized what his father told him, and it became possibly the first pillar of his rationalization of this lifestyle. And by extension it became a pillar holding up his entire world.

Looking back a little further, to S1E5 "College", we know Tony once attended college, too. When Tony was approximately Meadow's age he had another world, another life, available to him. But, just like Meadow, he ultimately rejected it and returned to the world that was familiar to him.*

Maybe he worked too hard to rationalize this world as a child and now it's the only place that feels rational to him, that he understands. Or maybe he feels too deeply twisted by it to belong anywhere else. Or maybe it's the same thing. And maybe the decision he made to remain a part of this world is something Tony will also be rationalizing for the rest of his life.

Regardless, the association between his panic attacks and meat -- between his deep dissatisfaction with his life and the point at which he started rationalizing this life to himself in order to survive within it -- tells us the process of reckoning with our past is never complete.

The wounds of childhood do not heal. Tony's past is alive in his present, and every choice he makes is at the end of a long line of choices that brought him to this moment. And Tony himself is at the end of a long line of fathers who created their child's world and then tried to push them out of it. And he's not the first child to return to it. And he also won't be last.

*I know Meadow doesn't drop out of college, what I mean is over the course of the show she becomes more of an apologist for organized crime, pursues a career defending white-collar criminals instead of oppressed minorities, and never really escapes the world she grew up in like Tony wanted her to. Arguably because one of the theses of this show is that intergenerational trauma is something like fate.

[itstimetodrew]

Could you fix him? Could you fix the green goblin?

The real question is would I even want to? 🤨

I could not, though. He'd have to want that for himself too and he absolutely has not for like... multiple decades. Maybe he wants it now. He could be lying. We just don't know... but I do know he's a doomed person and it's sexy. :)

[kayvsworld]

everything i learn abt infinity war and engame makes me feel like i am actively hallucinating

[huldrabitch]

Midnight Suns Tony is so sweet😭

[kinglypup]

ive suddenly had the worst fucking day. im like. numb wtf

[luludeluluramblings]

SugarBaby!Reader (Neglected!Bat!Sibling) x Tony Stark - Falling in Love

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Someone wanted more fluff of this and I had thoughts about it last night. Tony isn’t my favorite, but I kinda wanted to challenge myself with this and see if I could try it writing some romance.

A/N: Smalltown!Reader is still coming. Pregnant!Reader will be getting a part 2 at some point. Might post another series, the one army dreamer inspired, because why not? Gonna have sooo many WIPs. But, maybe they’ll give y’all some delight.

Warnings: GN!Reader, Mentions of bedroom activities, fluffy, not edited, hardly anything Yandere. Intended to be

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

When you and Tony started dating it had been after he had wooed you at some gala. Something for a long forgotten charity. You had initially been hesitant, knowing his play boy reputation. The one so eerily similar to your father’s Brucie Wayne persona.

Still he was charming, good looking, and had convinced you that one night wouldn’t hurt.

And, it hadn’t. The next day when you were about to crawl out of bed and begin your walk of shame, he had dragged you back. Taking his time repeating the night before and with an encore.

By the time you had finally been allowed to leave the bed, your stomach had let out an embarrassing growl that made your cooling skin flush once more.

Of course, Tony wasn’t going to let anyone he spent such a good time with go hungry. Ordering the two of you room service and a giant spread of breakfast.

It’s in that moment things start to shift. You were a good lay for Tony. A young pretty little thing that was some of the best he had had in a while. (Due to him mellowing out with age, not that he’d ever admit that.) But, it’s the way you look at him, shyly and with such genuine gratitude just for him buying to brunch that makes him stop.

Not pause. Because pause means he’ll end up playing again. And, he’s fairly certain he’s done playing. Because, when you happily sit in his button down shirt, munching on the food he bought you, and listen to him talk about an old project (he wasn’t dumb enough to share anything new he’d been working on) with such bright eyes and enthusiasm he realizes this might be trouble for him. It’s even cuter because he knows you don’t understand a single thing he’s saying, but you’re trying. You’re trying so hard and it’s so cute.

It keeps going on like that. Passionate nights and slow talkative mornings that morph into date nights and fun trips and days lounging together. You’re still honestly convinced it could all end at any moment. Nothing good last in your life. And, despite how desperately you want this to last you know it probably won’t. Still you swear to hold on. To take everything he’ll offers. Even if it’s not much and he leaves you in the end. You’re going to appreciate how full and fulfilled her makes you feel.

For you, you fall in love slow and overtime. It a soft and startling realization when you realize you love Tony. You love him dearly and he could break your heart into a million pieces. But, it would be worth it.

You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Loving him and waiting for him. To leave.

For Tony, it’s similar. He spoils you he does. He loves the way you look at him when he does. But, as he unknowingly starts to settle, the realization that he’s not showing you off in public as much anymore and that he enjoys just being near even when there’s nothing to talk about hits him in the chest. And, in a Tony Stark like fashion, he spirals for a bit.

It causes him to spend three full days in his lab avoiding the world and his problems. Not sleeping, hardly eating, ignoring Jarvis.

When he finally does emerge, he’s covered in sweat and grease. He aches. He’s tired. He’s irritable. His fully expecting you to be mad he missed your fancy date he had planned. But, when he looks up at you and see’s that exact same grateful look in your eyes, it clicks. You give him that same look of gratitude and adoration every time he does something for you. He’s not doing anything other than being here with you. And, that’s enough for you. You’re in love with him, and he’s in love with you. And your willing to love him as his is and with what ever he gives.

Tony doesn’t confess though. To cliche. Instead he proposes. With no ring, no plan, and covered in grease. But, completely serious. It isn’t long until you understand he really means it, that he wants you for you and you’re leaping in his arms crying, yes. Yes. And the. You tell him to shower, because despite the love you feel and your happiness, he smells ripe.

He chases you around instead, before dragging you into the shower with him.

It isn’t until you both have a small private court house ceremony and he’s dragging you on to a luxury honeymoon that he leans over and confesses. Casually. Like it was a stray fact.

“Oh, hey, by the way, I love you.”

It makes you squawk that he has the audacity to do such a thing, but you lean into him and say it back.

“I love you, too… Silly old man.”

“Hey! That’s not what you were saying when I-“

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You hadn’t even thought about you family with Tony. Hadn’t thought to invite them to the wedding. You did call Alfred as soon as you got back though. Telling him the good news with so much happiness that the old Bulter cried when the call ended. You had sounded radiant, and it broke his heart.

Broke his heart that no one in the family had seen just how beautiful your joy was and that they had never bothered to cause it.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Based off this ask.